Aria is a male to female transgender pony with struggles even more than normal ponies
Ever since she was born, Aria was different. She was always different from all the other mares. For starters, she was physically a he, not that she wanted to be. In her day, transgender ponies don't get the acceptance they would like, but nopony can change how Aria feels about herself. She'll keep being herself for better or for worse.
This story is currently undergoing many changes. I'll be unpublishing all non-reworked chapters as of editing this description, only to publish them again when I've gone through again.
Hey there, I'm Aria, I'm physically a stallion, that means I have my male parts and I'm severely lacking in my female ones. I do still prefer female pronouns, especially when not around family. Before that gets awkward, let's move on to other things about me. Let's touch on the fact that I look like a mare. Quite a lucky break I got there, huh? My problem is my oddly deep voice. I've learned to make it sound female though. Okay, okay, you're right, that's basically the same subject, just a different aspect of it. Let's move on for real this time.
I love video games, and I always have. I love them so much, I decided to take up creating them. One thing led to another and eventually I got my cutie mark in game design. I don't do anything too advanced gameplay-wise, but I really do try and get into a deep story. Not that I'm always successful. Anyway, at this point, I'm 17 years old and nearing the end of my junior year in high school, making three F's... yeah... can somepony say minimum wage aside from me selling indie games? Not the most glamorous life I'll be living, but hopefully I'll be able to turn it around. And that's where my story begins, with my life. It's been a long and dramatic one, so buckle up and enjoy the ride. Oh, also be aware that I might not be the most accurate point of view. I can get a little dramatic.
I had a fairly normal birth, the only abnormal thing about it was exactly how normal it was. I came out of my mom and that was that. I was about a week early into the world, but dangit, I was going to see the world! I started my life as a happy foal, just like anypony. There were ups and downs, but more of the former. As I started to grow older, I was befriending more mares than stallions. I'd play dress up with them and honestly, I enjoyed it, a lot. I would let them do my make-up and make me look pretty, and I liked having that aesthetic.
My parents thought it was just a phaze, they were just convinced I would grow out of it. Adults always seem to project their thoughts onto their foals, you know? They enforce what they think is right, and whether you agree with them or not, you're forced to comply or face punishment. So I was forced to look, talk, and act like a stallion, even though that was the opposite of what I wanted to be. Don't get me wrong, stallions were all fine and dandy, but that didn't mean I liked BEING one. It felt so unfair, but I didn't have any choice in the matter, so I was just the good little stallion I was supposed to be. Of course, I suppose in retrospect, they weren't all that bad.
At school, I would act more like a girl, luckily, my name wasn't really a stallion's name; Aria was an aspect of me that I liked, it was feminine, and it was pretty. I would hang out with the mares for the most part. There was one stallion who knew my real sex I hung out with. His name was Technic Rift. He was into all the nerdy stuff I was into and more. We would roleplay as our favorite superheroes. I would always find a way to roleplay a hero of the opposite sex from me. Technic would laugh at me for it, but he knew I enjoyed feeling feminine, so he didn't stop me.
As I started to mature, I started having feelings for Technic, but I knew he was straight, so I kept it to myself. I always implied it subtly though. If I couldn't be in a relationship with him, I wasn't going to lose him as a friend. He was too close. I was a year older than him, so when I moved on to middle school, I was deprived of my best friend. I thought I was going to be reunited for seventh grade, but before that year started, we moved to Canterlot and I never got to see my precious friend again. I really wish we had shared contact information so we could stay in touch, but he was just gone. A whisper of a memory on the wind that made up my consciousness. Sorry, I get dramatic with my metaphors. It's one thing my fans seem to complain about in some of my games' dialogue.
I didn't really make many real life friends in eighth grade through high school, since I was doing online school, but I did end up getting a lot of internet friends. I eventually discovered what I was. One day in eighth grade, it all made sense to me. The constantly feeling trapped in my body, the wanting to play dress up with the mares more than hoofball with the stallions, and the roleplaying as Batmare instead of somepony like Iron Stallion or Captain Equestria. I was trans, or transgender. It didn't shock me, and it certainly didn't change me, but it let me know that I wasn't alone.
In high school, my parents started to have conflict with me. I started making more internet friends and then, my parents would block that site on my computer and/or take away my tablet, which is what I would use to contact said friends. Of course, I wouldn't consider it unjust, seeing as I was often staying up late at night instead of sleeping, or hopping on when I should have been getting school work done. I got to the point where I just didn't get attached to any of my internet friends, but that all changed on MagickPhoenix.net, my favorite My Little Human fandom social network. The ponies on MgP were all so nice and accepting. There were even a few who were trans male to female just like me. I quickly got attached to them. I thought of them like family. I didn't want to give up my family which I had chosen. Then began chapter 1 of my secret life. I knew it was to be a long one.
I know I said my family and I live in Canterlot, but in reality, we only officially live there. Our house is a little bit outside the city in the woods on the mountain. When I'm not doing school work, I love to step out of the house and run around out there. It's a place in where I can imagine I'm somepony else. A beautiful mare, possibly a princess, greeted by guards that stand as tall as trees, because, well, they are trees, but I like to pretend they're not. Suddenly, I'll trip and fall into the grasp of one such guard, looking into his dark wooden brown eyes. But I NEVER go for the kiss, I learned my lesson once and I will never need to again. Sometimes I'll just sit at some trees, and it's relaxing.
Every once in a while, I wonder what it would be like to be a stallion perfectly comfortable with his body. I sometimes wish my mind was right and I was sure about who I was. Every time that happens, I try and push those thoughts out. Who would I be if I were secure? Would I be the same pony? Trick question, I would probably be a real mare. I want to get back to imagining now... so I don't have to tell you more about my imagination. Getting a little bit meta, here...
I walked my way to a patch of sun within the trees. I had claimed this spot when we moved here, it was like my little escape from the world where I could bathe in the warm light of the beautiful star Princess Celestia lifts up every day. Part of why I'd come to hate the winter is that it was cold, even in this spot. I rolled over onto my back in the middle of the sanctuary of comfortable warmth and giggled slightly as I watched a few small animals scurry around. Rabbits hopped around on the ground as squirrels scurried from tree to tree. I watched a bright red cardinal fly and land on a tree branch. I was jealous of it, cardinals were all pretty, even the males.
I sighed as I turned back over and stood up from the soft grass, my melancholy gaze shifting from the cardinal to an old barn I hadn't seen before. I wondered how I hadn't gotten to looking directly at it before now. It's not like there was anything particularly interesting or distracting about our old, creaky house in the woods. I looked down as I walked, noticing a few tree stumps seemingly freshly chopped. When I reached the large double doors of the barn. I noticed the padlock on the latch. Using my magic to pull on it, I easily broke its rusted bolt straight off. The thing was probably left here for almost thirty years. I carefully slid the broken lock bolt out and unlatched the doors. Swinging one partiality open with an ominous creak, I stuck my head inside to look around. There was a sizeable hole rusted in the tin roof that let enough light in for me to see clearly.
I walked in, looking at old decrepit machinery and tools, with large spots of rust that seemed to be almost consuming some of them. Everything looked surreal to me. It was almost like somepony had been actively working on the tractor parked to the side years ago and just randomly decided to leave. I pulled the faded blue tarp off of a large object to reveal an old pickup truck. This, unlike the other things had not been horribly damaged by time. Its tires were flat and it needed a lot of work, but I thought I had discovered my first automobile. I rubbed some of the dust off the driver side window to see keys in the ignition. I was sure there had to be corrosion and other kinds of problems with the truck as well. When I popped the hood, I heard rustling, and a raccoon scurried out from under the vehicle and out of a hole in the small building.
I tried turning the key, but alas, I wasn't going to be that lucky. Not that I was surprised it was in such a state of disrepair that it wouldn't run. I had a start to a vehicle, though. That was more than I could say about my past experiences. I knew that it would require a lot of work, but I wanted a way to move out. I had gotten into a relationship with a stallion online, and I thought that maybe I could meet him again and pick him up from his also less than hospitable household and we could live happily somewhere else with each other. All I had to do was get this old truck fixed up, which may have been more than I thought I was getting myself into.
Later on, I was eating diner with my parents. We were eating a delicious quiche. If there was one good thing to say about my parents, it was that they knew how to cook. We ate silently, and it was almost painful how quiet we were.
Finally, I broke the silence, "Found an old barn out in the woods today."
"Oh yeah? Find anything in it?" Asked my dad.
I nodded, "There's a lot of old tools in it. Most of them are too rusty to use. A broken tractor is on one side. It looked like the previous owners were fixing it up. On the other side, there's an old pickup truck that's in fairly good shape."
"Well, you've been looking for a vehicle to drive to work. Guess you found one." He replied.
I shook my head, "No, I can't drive it to work without fixing its problems. I tried to start it but I just heard a click. I looked under the hood, but I don't really know anything about how it's set up."
"Was there a manual for it?"
"I don't know, I figured if there were, it would be unreadable at this point, but I'll look tomorrow."
Soon, I finished my food and got ready for bed. I starred at my ceiling, tears flowing from my sadened eyes as I listened to my parents ranting about transgender ponies becoming more common. It wasn't an uncommon topic to hear them talk about since the recent bathroom drama. I heard them talk about how those individuals need to finally wake up and accept that they'll never be the ponies they want to be. I closed my eyes and turned onto my side as their conversation paused.
I sofly whispered through my tears, "Easier said than done..."
The next morning, I got up early, the sun was barely out, but I walked to my sun spot, already flooded with beautiful warm light. Looking forward, I spotted the barn and walked back to it. I opened the door to see the water retardant cloth back over the pickup, just as I had left it. I lifted up half of it, folding it onto the other side of the metal vehicle. Opening the passenger side door, I took a peek into the glove compartment and to my surprise, the truck's manual was in pristine condition, protected from the elements within the small pickup. I closed the compartment and stepped out. When I shut the door, an object obscuring the light of a window caught my view.
The black static object startled me at first. It was a rope hanging from a pulley on the rafters. It was tied into a loop. The black ring of tied together fibers was mildly terrifying, but oddly desirable. It was almost like it was beckoning me to come closer. I almost felt as if it would end my struggles to climb up and slide it on for a while. I shuddered at my own thoughts, looking down at the ground and shivering. My breathing was erratic and my heart was racing. I shook my head, controlling my breathing and feeling the pounding in my chest ease up.
I looked at my phone to see the time. I was glad I did, because it was already 7:30, I had to meet my mom so she could drop me off at work. I rushed out, latching the door and applying my own lock before pocketing the key and rushing back to the house. I didn't fail to grab the manual so I could take it to the auto parts store a few doors down from the restaurant I had gotten a job at.
Often times at work, I'll be sitting around, being bored. We don't get a whole lot of customers in the mornings, so my shift is usually easy. I like to whip out my phone and log into MgP to talk for a while. I look at some posts, read some blogs, and laugh at the funniest memes I've seen. On the internet, I'm way more popular than in real life. The thing is, if I weren't so frustratingly shy, I'd probably have a lot more friends. Oh well, who needs real life friends? I'd rather laugh with ponies through screens than sit quietly in a circle of them talking sports.
Oh my Celestia, did I mention I hate sports? I don't think I did, so I hate sports. I'm pretty sure my section of tartarus is a bunch of oiled up beefy stallions squeezing me into their circle rambling on and on about sports. Oh, and I'd be an oiled up beefy stallion too. A few seconds of that, and please, Celestia, I've learned my lesson. Of course, my parents know exactly how to punish me, and that's to not let me design games. I hate it when they do that.
Suddenly, a stallion walked up to the counter and distracted me from my thoughts, "Hey pretty, could I get an order?"
"Absolutely, what would you like?" I said in my feminine voice.
He snickered for a second, "That fine rear end of yours'll be great."
"I'm not single, sir. Can I interest you in some FOOD?" I replied in a snarky tone.
He shook his head, "tsk tsk tsk... You see, I'm rich. When I want somepony, I take them. Even if I have to bribe them." He leaned over, wrapping a hoof around my neck and trying to go in for a kiss.
"Sir?" I asked.
He looked into my eyes, "Yeah, babe?"
"I'm a stallion." I spoke in my natural voice.
His eyes widened as he let go and stepped back, "Whoa... what in Celestia's name..."
"Now, may I take your order?" I asked, snarking off even more as I held back laughter.
He began scrambling out, "THAT'LL BE TO GO!!!"
I high hoofed with Aurora Borealis, one of my few real life friends.
"Oh my Celestia, that was hilarious, Aria." She said.
I smiled and spoke in my soft female voice again, "Thank you, I'll be here all week."
We laughed and exchanged bits of conversation until our shift ended. We both clocked out and I grabbed my truck's manual. I explained to her what I had found in the barn and we went to the auto parts store together. Looking around the manual, I found exactly the parts and tools I needed, so I bought them. We loaded them up in the trunk of her car and began driving to my house. Aurora was the only pony in real life who knew I was trans and knew all my life details. She was the one real life friend I could trust. I had even introduced her to MgP, so we could keep in contact when I left to be with my boyfriend.
When we arrived, I lead her to the barn where we unloaded my stuff and I began working on my truck. I put on some music. One of my internet friends made the best electronic stuff and I loved to listen to it while doing other things. I switched out the spark plugs, the wires, tubes, and the oil filter. I proceeded to fill the old vehicle up with new oil after that. It certainly wouldn't be in perfect order, but I would be able to drive it while to work and back for the time being.
"Didn't think you were the pickup type." Aurora remarked.
I looked at her, "Yeah, you know. I just like those rugged masculine things in life."
"Oh, yeah. Right." She said sarcastically and giggled.
I smiled as she laughed. I wondered if I felt feelings for her. You know, like romantic feelings. It seemed odd, considering I like to associate as a mare and she was straight. I set down my empty jug of oil, checking the level to see it still low. I opened the next jug and began pouring it in. It wasn't long before my dad decided to make his way over.
He looked at Aurora, "Well hi there, who are you?"
"I'm Aurora, Aria's friend... marefriend..." she replied.
His eyes widened, "Wow, Aria. Not bad. Not bad at all."
I didn't say anything. My dad was making it awkward enough. I was, however, surprised Aurora went as far as to say that she was my marefriend.
"Thanks. Pretty sure that's a compliment..." Said Aurora.
He kicked my back leg lightly, "You better not mess it up, alright?"
"I-I won't..." I forced the words out.
The stallion began walking back to the house, smiling and laughing.
I waited until he was out of earshot and switched back to my female voice, "Narrow-minded son of a-"
"Aria! He's your dad!" Aurora interrupted me.
I sighed, "Doesn't change what he is..."
"Surely you still love him though." She replied.
I said, "Sure, but I don't love the part that hates basically everything that he doesn't relate to."
Aurora sighed and rubbed a hoof gently against my back. It was soothing, and relaxing. She knew how to calm me down, and that she most certainly did. I levitated the now empty oil jug down to the ground and embraced her in a hug. She wrapped her front legs around me and sat us down as I cried into her shoulder. The music had gone quiet, as it had reached the end of the playlist. I was simply letting out my emotions to the most important friend I had at the time. She stroked the back of my head, straightening my mane. After a while, I got back to working on my truck. I replaced the battery and battery terminals, and filled the empty gas tank.
We pulled the cloth fully off and cleaned the windows and mirrors. I got in the driver's seat and buckled my seatbelt and watched Aurora do the same on the passenger side. I turned the key and heard a click followed by some kind of humming. I didn't hear it start. I was doing exactly what my driving instructor had previously told me when teaching about driving using a manual transmission car. I turned the key again and heard a sputtering in the engine. It died down before long. With one more turn, the engine sputtered again and finally started. I slowly pulled out of the barn and began driving to the main road.
Once we were out, I drove us around the city for a bit before she gave me directions to her house, where her parents weren't home yet. We walked inside and Aurora dragged me to her room and to the attached bathroom. She gave me a wet cloth which I used to clean my grease stains off. After that, she told me to take shower and she'll bring me something after that. I cleaned myself thoroughly and then began to dry myself with one the towels. She brought a brush in and began to style my mane and tail. She straightened the hairs out and then fluffed them. They were soft and had good looking form.
I watched her retrieve a make-up kit and begin applying subtle make-up to my face. She then left me alone in the bathroom for a few minutes. I looked in the mirror and saw not only me, but a beautiful version at that. I really looked like a mare. Soft fur, luxurious mane, long eyelashes, and slightly glossy lips. Aurora came back in with some clothing and told me to try it on. I slipped on a blue dress that went with my fur and a silver necklace with a pink opalescent stone in it that matched my hair. I slipped some golden shoes on and felt Aurora put a couple gold hair clips in my mane. I looked in the mirror again, seeing the beautiful mare I had always wanted to be.
I hugged Aurora closely, and she hugged back. I felt like a mare for once. Pretty, and soft. Maybe someday I wouldn't just feel like it, but also be it. Tears started to form in my eyes as I felt my happiness well up.
"You can keep those if you'd like." I heard her say.
My eyes widened as I looked at her, "Really? You're giving them to me?"
"Absolutely. You'll get to feel like a mare whenever you want." She smiled.
I began to cry as I hugged her again. After a few more minutes, I cleaned my make-up off and neatly folded my clothes, putting them in a boutique bag and placing the bag behind the seat of my truck. I took her back to my house so she could pick up her car and walked into the house and into my room quietly. I put the bag between my bed and the wall, where my parents wouldn't find it and layed on my bed, smiling at the ceiling. After a few minutes, I heard a knock at the door and my dad saying that diner was ready.
I got home one day and parked my truck in the barn. With Aurora's help, I had replaced the tin roof and reinforced the whole structure with new pillars. It was beginning to look like an established structure. My pickup was in much better shape as well. The vital parts inside had mostly been replaced, and the vehicle was far more reliable than it had been. It would start up on the first try, and it wouldn't stop running in the middle of the road. As I got out of the truck, I looked up again at the silhouette of the loop of rope. Every time I was happily inside here and looked up at it, the form and placement served as a grim reminder of who I was. It scared me, and I always looked at it like it would jump down and take me if I didn't eventually do it myself.
I shook my head to get rid of the feeling. Of course it wouldn't kill me, it was just a rope. An inanimate object wasn't going to sweep its way down and wrap itself around my neck, that would be ridiculous. Anyway, the next day would be my best internet friend's 18th birthday. She was trans male to female just like me. I had kept living with my parents until the age of twenty just to spend the next day at the Canterlot mall with her, and I wouldn't fail her on that. I walked into my room and logged into MgP for a while. The friend I was talking about had messaged me if we were still going to go to the mall the next day. I responded with a definitely and told her to meet me at the park.
When I logged out, I looked behind my bed for my bag, shocked to find it no longer there. I panicked and looked around my room frantically. The bag was nowhere to be seen. I began to cry softly before I heard a hard knocking at my door followed by my father roughly telling me that diner was ready. I stood up and wiped my tears, clearing my face of all negative emotion. I had to hide that I was upset, or else I would never get my gift from Aurora back. I took a deep breath and sighed softly before exiting my room.
When I walked in, my parents were glaring at me, the bag in full view as my mother spoke up, "What's the meaning of this!?"
"What were you doing with these?!" Asked my father, pointedly.
I looked at them, my mouth agape.
Dad glared, "Are you going to answer us?"
"It's a gift..." I claimed.
Mom asked, "For whom?"
"Aurora. It's a gift for Aurora... d-do you think she'll like it?" I responded.
My dad looked at mom, "Told you. He's not... one of those..."
"I'm sorry, Aria." Mom told me.
I sighed, "It's alright. I know what it looked like."
"You forgot the tissue paper." Dad said.
I nodded at him, "I knew I was forgetting something. I'll get it tomorrow."
He smiled at me as I sat down to eat diner with them, likely for the last time. Another quiche, and it was just as good as always. I looked at my parents as I ate. Even though they hated trans ponies, I couldn't help but love them, but there was something about your loved ones hating what you are that created an extremely somber feeling, and I couldn't shake it. I quietly finished my food, grabbed my bag, and walked into my room. I ended up not putting the dress, shoes, and hair clips on that night, but at least my parents didn't find out about me being who I was. It surely would've been disastrous. That, and I would lose the ability to express femininity when alone.
I heard my parents arguing about why my mother thought what they didn't realize was the truth about me. I didn't know how well I had hidden it. I had a dream that made me prefer listening to my parents arguing. I saw the silhouette of the rope in front of a sickly green light. It seemed to whisper to me. I saw my view get closer and closer until I felt the ring touch my fur as everything went black. I woke up in a cold sweat, trembling as I looked around my room, regaining my sense of what was around me. I glanced at my alarm clock. It was beeping with the timestamp 6:00 AM. I flicked the switch and shot up before stretching. I still felt tired after the hectic experience. No dream should ever feel like that.
I grabbed my bag before exiting the room, making my way to the barn which was standing as usual. I stopped in my circle of warm sunlight. Celestia was up early today, as this area was fully bathed in the golden glow of the daily occurring magic star. I stopped and looked up at the sky which had few clouds in it. They all looked to have been painted there. I quietly thanked Celestia and the pegasi for the beautiful day as I finished my caffeinated soda.
When I got inside the barn, I threw my can in the recycling bin and set the bag down on the hood of the truck. I reached into it and saw the loop again, almost hearing the whispers from my nightmare. I grabbed a knife from a shelf and proceeded to climb up and cut the rope from a higher section. I didn't want to feel the dread I always do when looking at it. Once I had cut completely through it, i jumped down with the loop and grabbed a bucket, throwing the rope in. I took it out in front of the barn and retrieved my gas can. I proceeded to dowse the rope in gasoline before putting the can back in the barn and coming back with a box of matches. I struck a match against the rough strip on the box to light it. I then dropped it in the bucket, watching the gasoline soaked rope immediately catch fire.
I had done it, I defeated my dread. The loop was no more and I could finally move on. I asked myself why I hadn't done that before now as I watched the flames die down to a pile of ashes. I took the bucket back inside as I reached into the bag for my make-up kit. I had no worries of being discovered by my parents, as since I got my truck working, they wouldn't be up for another two and a half hours. I had previously loaded up everything I needed. My parents could keep the rest for all I cared. I had bought a better computer which was placed in its case behind the seat. I got into the truck and flipped down the visor to do my make-up like aurora had showed me. I then proceeded to brush my mane and tail. When that was done, I slipped on my dress, being careful of the white lace sections and put in my hair clips and slipped on my shoes.
I felt pretty as I folded the paper boutique bag flat and placed it behind the seat. I started my truck and began to drive to the park. I had gotten the sheet metal straightened out on the truck as well as had it painted with a glossy red. In its own right, it was pretty too. It was at least presentable to be driving around in. Before long, I arrived at the park, not yet seeing my friend, but I was sure she would find me when she arrived. I watched birds fly around, seeing a cardinal land on a branch after I got out. I was no longer jealous of the birds, as I was pretty, too. This was they day I would finally fully express my femininity in public. Before, I didn't look particularly like an attractive mare, just close enough to fool inexperienced eyes.
I walked around, seeing foals play on the playground. I saw a group of fillies with their make-up kits, applying their cosmetics to a colt who appeared to be happy with it. I smiled at the sight, remembering when I was a foal and it was still acceptable for me to be cute and pretty. I decided that before I drove off to meet my coltfriend, I would come out to my parents, whether they accepted me or not. If they didn't, they were never parents to begin with.
I saw a mare walk up to me. She had dark green fur and dark blue hair. She was my friend, the one I was to meet here. I remembered she was like me, as I had forgotten for a moment. We both proceeded to my truck and I took a detour to Aurora's house. My friend looked at me confused.
"This isn't the mall..." She said softly.
I smiled at her, "I know. We'll be picking one of my friends up. She's the one I've been telling you about."
"I didn't realize you'd let me meet her." She smiled at me.
I giggled as we got out, "Well of course I'd let you meet her. I told her about today and she was so excited!"
We walked up and knocked on the door. A tall middle aged stallion opened it. We looked up at him, slightly startled. He obviously hadn't had his coffee yet. He rubbed his eye as he backed up slowly and gave way to Aurora excitedly pulling us in. She was still in her pajamas and her hair was still wet from a shower.
"Oh, I have a great outfit for you!" She gasped at my friend.
We followed her into her room and shoved us into the bathroom with a similar outfit to mine, only with colors that matched my friend. I helped her put on the dress and shoes and gently placed the necklace around her neck. I put the clips in her already brushed hair and began to do her make-up. When I was finished, I let her look in the mirror to see herself. She smiled and hugged me closely. I embraced back, smiling.
Aurora walked in, her outfit on, "Oh my Celestia, you two look so cute together!"
She joined in and levitated her phone above us, taking a selfie with us. Soon, we walked out and got in Aurora's car, since my truck was only a two-seater. We decided to let my friend drive and Aurora took shotgun, putting on some music. I had heard this song in listening to her and knew the lyrics nearly by heart. Evidently, my friend did too, as she and Aurora sang along happily. I smiled at the two for a while until the chorus came around and I decided to join in.
"Turn up the car radio. We can be karaoke superstars. Doesn't mater what they think, when we're drivin' in my car!" We all sang together.
We giggled and enjoyed each other on the way to the mall. I felt like I belonged with them, unlike for my whole life when I always felt out of place. Here, I was just one of the mares. Any other time, I had been that weird stallion in the bunch of mares, or that mare that has stallion parts among other stallions. Here was where I always wanted to be, with friends that understood me. I wished this day would last forever.
When we got to the mall, Shining Waterfall stepped out of the car and looked around at the other ponies. Like me, this was clearly the first time she had been in public looking like a mare. I smiled as she turned to look at me while I shut the door I had just carefully climbed out of. I was surprised at the differences in posture I needed in order to keep my image as a mare. It was hard to learn that after having previously living my life with my natural stallion postures.
I gingerly walked around the car and put a reassuring hoof on Shining's shoulder, "You're going to be fine. Look, the ponies around us don't even know we've got dangley bits."
I looked at her eyes lighten as I said it. She smiled and nodded at me, effortlessly keeping her female posture. She had come out to her family who were generally accepting of unusual types like us. Those close to her likely encouraged her to practice acting and sounding like a girl. I had to make an excuse about using as few voice actors as possible in order to even get the voice right. And the posture was even more difficult to practice. I still managed, and I had gotten the walk down perfectly.
The three of us pranced cheerfully toward the large building, ready to have a fun day. The first store we hit was a shoe store. We tried on several pairs of fancy looking shoes each. I bought Shining a pair she had been eyeing after the whole time we were at the store, it was her birthday, after all. We moved on to a dress shop. We each got similar simple white dresses made by a fashion designer of growing popularity named Rarity. After that, we went to get hooficures and talked about how much we were enjoying the day and I gave Shinning a long winded speech about how I was so happy we actually got to do this.
When our hooficures had dried, we went to the food court and ordered some Old McDonald's. When we got our orders, we sat down next to an indoor fountain that shot patterned jets of water upwards in intervals, catching the liquid before sending it flying back up in another momentary jet. We all watched it as we ate, mesmerized by the hypnotic pattern of dancing geysers firing toward the skylight to come crashing bacl down onto the small, black, granite pyramid.
"I've always loved that fountain." I said when I finished my burger and hay fries.
Aurora responded, "You know, when it gets dark out, they turn on some colorful lights in it."
"It has lights!?" Shining gasped in awe.
Aurora giggled a bit, "It sure does."
"That's amazing." I remarked.
I hadn't realized that a stallion had scooted his way next to me as we had our conversation. He was starring right at me. He was clearly waiting for the right time to make a move, as he cleared his throat after my remark.
He complimented me, "Not as amazing as your eyes."
"Hehehehehe... I uhhh... I'm... ooooooohhhh, I'm so sorry... I'm not single..." I got up and pushed Shining over to where I was sitting, "But she is!"
She looked at me, "Aria..."
"Shining, it's okay. You can do this. And look at him. He's really hot!" I attempted to encourage her.
The stallion spoke up, "You have really nice looking eyes too. I always liked green."
"Thank you. I-I like your eyes too. Blue is one of my favorite colors." She giggled a bit.
He smiled at her, "My name's Lightning Strike, what's yours?"
"I'm Shining Waterfall. How old are you?" Asked Shining.
He said, "I'm sixteen. How about you?"
"Oh, Celestia... I'm eighteen today." She blushed intensely.
He also blushed as he stood up, "Whoa there, sorry. Didn't know you were a legal adult AND oit of my league... heh, no chance for me here... see ya..." He walked away.
"A sixteen year old, really hot, huh?" Aurora chuckled a bit at me.
I glared at her, "How was I supposed to know he was still a colt!?"
The two just laughed at my mistake. I sighed and laughed with them. There was no point in trying to reason about it anymore. I misread somepony's age, and, well, it was fairly funny. Once we finished laughing, we went to the computer store, as I had talked about getting the two into gaming, and I knew the owner of this store, so we could likely get a couple gaming laptops for cheap. That's exactly what we did, and I was so excited to get them started on my favorite MMO. It was a sci-fi fantasy game that took a lot of inspiration from several ancient god mythologies.
We went around for a little while longer until we decided to walk into the game store and buy a few PC games. We then set up at the nearest WiFi hotspot/charging station and started up the computers we had bought. It was a good thing I decided to buy them mice as well. Using the pad on those laptops was always a nightmare. While they downloaded and installed the MMO, I went and got my gaming PC to join in. When I pulled it up with them, they had finished setting up their characters. We all friended each other and I started a Pantheon for us to be in, which was this game's version of a guild. We played together until they had leveled up quite a bit and the mall was nearing closing time.
We shut our computers down and made way towards the exit. On the way, we stopped and looked at the fountain with its colorful lights showing in the columns of water. It gave off a glow I would never forget, and every time I thought of it, I would think of this day, I saw it as the best day of my life so far, and I looked forward to having another in a year. I was going to make it every year come Tartarus or high water. I was glad we got to make Shining's day great, and I was so happy her birthday was a good one.
We got to Aurora's house and Shining and I bid farewell to Aurora before switching to my pickup. I drove Shining home and watched her grab her stuff and get into her house. I then made my way home, thinking about what the consequences of telling them my personal situation would be. I dreaded the reaction I knew I was going to get, but I would face it head on.
I cried on my way from the house I lived in for several years. Had it been a mistake for me to tell my parents? Would they ever accept me? I wiped the tears away from my eyes, smearing my make-up as I cleared my vision of the road. I breathed deeply and thought quietly. If they didn't accept who I was, then to tartarus with them. I wasn't going to change who I was for their liking, that's not right. I did have doubts, though, as I still had many fond memories of them. They raised me with a largely happy foalhood. Now I left them behind after destroying their respect for the mare at heart they called their son for twentry whole years.
I saw a motel with lights on just off the road. It had gotten dark, and I needed a place to sleep for the night. I pulled into the parking lot and retrieved my laptop case from the lockbox in the back, making sure it was locked upon closing it. I went to the front entrance to see a nice looking interior with a stallion with a sweet smile on his face.
"Welcome to the hooves Motel, how may I..." he noticed the smeers on my make-up, unmistakably from tears, "miss, are you alright?"
I sniffled, "Yes, thank you. Just a little... sad, I guess."
"Poor thing... tell you what..." he grabbed a key off of one of the hooks and passed it to me, "I'm not supposed to do this, but nopony else is gonna come this late at night. I'll cover your room for the night. It's up the stairs and the last one on the left."
I nodded gratefully as I took the key, "Thank you, sir..."
Heading up the stairs, I looked at the doors until I stopped at the last one on the left, putting the key in and turning it before opening the door. I stepped inside and lay down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling for a few minutes before pulling out my laptop. The motel had free WiFi, thank goodness. I logged into MagickPhoenix and posted about the events that had transpired. I got numerous comments of sympathy, proving once again, my friends were real ones.
I sighed as I looked at the reassuring comments. I didn't need my parents to feel loved. I had so many loving friends and of course, my favorite pony who I would meet with the next day and we could live together, showing love for each other. I shut down my laptop and went to take a shower. The motel obviously had a water softener, as I was much more comfortable with this gentile touch than with the rough hard water from the dwelling I had been living in. It felt luxurious here, and I savoured it.
When I got out, I looked in the mirror at my face, wiping the fog off and seeing the face of a still feminine stallion. I almost looked like a mare even without makeup. For once, I felt pretty without it. I heard the door of the motel room open through the closed barrier of the separated bathroom. I quickly applied some of my makeup, making my eyelashes once again obvious, as without them, I still looked more like a stallion. I put on a soft white robe that the establishment provided and slowly stepped out of the bathroom to see the stallion who had greeted me puting a soft looking blanket neatly over the sheets already on the bed.
"Sorry if I scared you, miss, but I thought you might want a blanket. I also washed your clothes for you." He gestured toward the neatly folded dress and other garments I had worn that day.
I was mildly creeped out that he washed my clothes, but still appreciated it. I thanked him as he left the room. Taking off the robe and climbing into the bed, I found that it was soft and very comfortable. I longed for my significant other, looking at the empty space next to me. Grabbing a pillow, I imagined it was him and embraced it with all four legs, sleeping silently all night long.
I dreamt that I was in a temple made of marble with tall pillars and a pointed ceiling. Golden chandeliers hung drom it, bathing the area in warm light. There were four alicorns around me. They cast magic and I felt a soothing sensation, feeling my very form change, I was becoming a mare in my dream. The rest of the dream was me stepping out of the temple to meet with my significant other, when I stepped out, we hugged each other tightly, and nothing else mattered. In fact, to us, nothing else existed except for-
I awoke to light pouring into the window as the alarm clock on the nightstand beeped repeatedly and annoyingly. I turned it off as I stepped out of bed and yawned. I went to the bathroom and took my morning constitutional before doing my make-up and brushing my teeth. I packed up my stuff into the laptop case and headed out of the room. When I walked down the stairs, I saw the stallion smiling at me as I gave him my key.
"Need anything else, miss?" He asked.
I replied with a barely awakened voice, "Caffeine... Coke? Coffee? Straight up powder?"
"Right over there miss." He giggled as he pointed at an espresso machine with several small Styrofoam cups set to the side.
I made my way there and drank one cup of espresso, "Thank you."
He nodded at me as I walked outside and got in my truck. I started it and began to drive on the route to my favorite pony's location. We had been planning this for years and I knew he had moved in just a day previously. I watched the road go by as I made progress on the long journey. I knew it would be a while to Manehattan, but it would be extremely pleasant when we were finally together. I looked into the rear view mirror at Canterlot getting smaller and bid farewell for a year.
My phone began to vibrate, it was him. My significant other was calling me. I answered it and heard him tell me good news.
"I'm moved into the house and so very ready to see you, Aria." He told me.
I replied happily, "I'm so glad!"
I put my Bluetooth headset on and plugged my phone in so we could talk for the rest of the way, only taking breaks for fuel and rest stops. Even still, I talked with him. I knew that we would be together for as long as we lived when I got to his house. We were special to each other and nothing would change that. And when Shining's birthday came around again, she would be introduced to him. I couldn't wait for her and Aurora to meet him.
I slowly opened my eyes and yawned as light poured into the bedroom. I was muzzle to muzzle with a stallion covered in golden fur, with a darker golden mane. Flare was practically legally blind, so even if he were awake, he wouldn't be able to see my eyes open to look at him without his prescription glasses. I gingerly slipped out of the bed and powered up my computer to log into MagickPhoenix. I watched the news feed load to many ponies posting about the new Legend of Epona game. I had seen the trailer a week before and had been hyped for it to come out ever since.
I yawned again and scratched my head with my hoof. Looking at my partner, I saw that he was still sound asleep. I quietly walked out the room and into the kitchen. In making plans to move in, I had suggested an espresso maker, much like the one at my old house. I knew how to make really good coffee with it. I fired up the coffee grinder to grind the beans and scooped some of the grounds out to put them in the coffee holding part which I could never get the name of. I hooked the part in and placed a coffee mug under it, pressing the button for it to brew. As it slowly filled up the mug, I went to grab milk and agave nectar.
I was just in time getting back to press the button on the espresso maker. It would've overflown had I waited a few seconds longer. I removed the mug and squirted some agave nectar into the mug and poured some milk in after it. I retrieved a spoon to stir the ingredients together and proceeded back to the bedroom. When I arrived, I grabbed Flare's glasses, put them on him, set the cup of coffee on his nightstand, and kissed him on the cheek. I gently lifted him up and shook him a bit. He smiled at me.
"Good morning, Aria." He cheerfully spoke.
I responded, "Morning. I made you some coffee. Sumatra with milk and agave nectar."
"Wow, didn't know you'd treat me like royalty in this relationship." He remarked.
I commented, "Says the one who bought all natural Sumatra coffee beans, a top of the line espresso maker, and agave nectar."
We both snickered a bit before Flare started to get ready while I made another cup of coffee for myself, placing the milk and agave nectar back in the fridge. I took a few sips of my coffee as I took my dog out back. My parents may have rushed me out of the house, but they wouldn't have taken my dog from me without becoming dead bodies. I loved her and they could not separate us no matter how hard they tried. I checked my phone while I was out back. I had five missed calls from Aurora and a text message that said "CALL ME" in all caps and everything.
I called her immediately, "Hello, Aurora?"
"Aria! What happened!? I saw your parents really upset. You didn't actually move out, did you?" She worriedly asked.
I explained, "It's cool. I did move out. I came out to them and they... well, let's just say they didn't take it too well."
"Oh my Celestia, Aria! They're worried sick!" She exclaimed.
I replied, "I honestly don't care. They can be as worried as they want."
"Can you at least call them?" She pleaded.
I responded, "I might, in a few days. What they said to me still isn't sitting right with me."
"Fine, just as long as you let them know you're okay." She said.
I thought for a moment after she hung up. My parents were really already worried about me? I thought they hated transgender ponies. I was genuinely shocked at the revelation. I set my phone down on the counter as I walked into the bathroom and turned the knobs on the tap. I watched the water flow out, gracefully at first as its flow went from smooth to rampant. I switched the water to the showerhead and stepped in. I followed my routine as usual. Shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer, body wash, soap, and finally, facial cleanser. I rinsed off all the suds and then turned off the water.
I stood in the bathtub, dripping. Looking down at my hooves, I thought. My parents still cared about me. Perhaps they didn't hate trans ponies nearly as much as I thought. I grabbed a towel and dried myself off, stepping out of the bathroom and walking up to the bedroom. I had just applied my make-up and pulled on my socks when we heard the doorbell ring. My ears twitched as I looked curiously at Flare.
"Expecting somepony?" I asked.
He answered, "Expecting something. A package. A gift for you."
We smiled as we made our way to the front door. I nuzzled him a bit, wrapping a leg around him in a hug as we walked. When he opened the front door, a grey pegasus with a blonde mane and tail and a peculiar eye alignment was standing in front of us holding a package in her mouth.
"Pwckage fwor Fware Fiwe." The pony's muffled voice sounded.
Flare took the package gently from the mare's mouth, "Thank you, Ms. Hooves."
The pegasus nodded as she took off, a letter or two fluttering out of her mailbag. I closed the door as Flare took the package to the table to open it. I sat next to him, looking intently at the brown paper wrapping, as if I were going to will it to unwrap itself. After a few moments, I realized that Flare wanted me to open it. I ripped the paper off carefully to reveal a book. This was not just any book though, it was a spellbook. The lettering on it read "a guide to changing the equine body" painted in gold decorative font. I was amazed that Flare was able to find this, especially from where.
"How exactly did you get an advanced spellbook off the internet?" I inquired.
He smiled, "Everfree has everything short of houses. I could probably find genuine shrunken heads on it if I were so inclined."
"So can I use it?" I excitedly asked.
He looked at my eyes, "It would require another magic using pony to cast the spell. And I've been working on my magic strength for the past few months."
"Fire away." I said.
Flare read through the book extremely quickly using a speed reading spell. I had always wondered what it was like to use that spell. I wondered if it would be like instantaneous memory of the whole book or if it would be as if you froze time just to read through the book. I was thinking about this trivial development to the point that I first didn't realize that the spell had been cast. I looked down, seeing my hooves looking the same as always, only with socks. I tested my default voice, hearing the deep male tone come out.
"I guess it doesn't... whoa..." The whole room began to spin.
I began to feel extremely dizzy, to the point that I fell out of the chair and stared up at the ceiling. I felt my body gently shrink in areas and slightly grow in others. I felt my male reproduction system metamorphosize into a female one. I felt the vocal cords in my throat tighten. Once the process was finished, I stood up, seeing the once again still room.
Flare looked at me, "It worked! Now you have three days to decide if you like this. Then we can go to somepony with permanent body spells."
"Thank you so much!" I hugged him.
I was shorter now as well, and I didn't meet eye level with him now. My horn was just about to the middle of his ear. His hug felt far more protective, far more secure. With my new feminine form, I felt like I belonged with him more than I already had. I knew that I would absolutely love the next three days.
I sat on the front porch of our home, drinking my coffee. We were in a slightly more rural area, living in an a neighborhood in which the houses were several meters apart each. There were also numerous trees around, giving off the illusion that we were in the woods. I remembered when I would imagine I was a beautiful princess. I looked at the chrome wind chime, seeing my temporarily female face. I didn't have to pretend now. I most certainly was beautiful, and I was definitely Flare's princess. It felt amazing to relive my foalhood fantasy as something real.
I closed my eyes and began to relax. Breathing in, I felt the cool air enter my lungs, giving me a cool, soothing sensation that brought down the temperature of my warm lungs. I was loving every single minute of being physically female and hoped that Flare could make it permanent after the few days I was given. I heard a fluttering noise and a slight gust of what felt like wind. Opening my eyes revealed a bright red cardinal, standing on the railing of the porch, looking directly at me. I remembered a time when I envied their beauty, but no more. We were now both beautiful.
I held out my hoof and he fluttered his way to it, making his way to my shoulder as I put my hoof back down. The cardinal was staying on my shoulder, as if he was mine now. I didn't realize that I was making a new friend. I walked inside, the cardinal still standing on me. Once I entered the door, it flew to the dining room table, once again looking at me. It chirped and looked at me expectantly.
"You need a name... I'll call you Red. That's what I can think of at the moment at least." I said.
The bird chirped in approval. I had indeed made a friend, a good one at that. I knew that many unicorns had bird assistants. Most of the ones I knew of were owners of owls. Twilight Sparkle, who later became an alicorn had two assistants, one bard owl and one baby dragon. I read about Starswirl the Bearded's screech owl in school. I had never heard of a songbird being a unicorn's assistant. Then again, I had also never looked much into magic. I knew how to levitate things, but I didn't really know much more than that. Still, I couldn't wait for Flare to come home and see Red.
I felt my phone vibrate, so I pulled it out to see that my father was calling me. My eyes widened as I considered answering it. I felt a tear stream from my eye. I had no idea what he was going to say. I put my hoof on the red icon, sliding it across the screen, hanging the call up before it had started. I set my phone down on the counter as I walked to the bedroom. I curled up into a ball as I cried on the corner of the bed. Red arrived in the room, landing on my nightstand and nuzzling me, attempting to cheer me up.
I looked up at red, his eyes were very obviously full of sympathy. He looked concerned for me, like he had known me for years and had come to care for me like a family member. I ran a hoof across his soft feathers. Grooming the small bird soothed me to a degree, stabilizing my breathing. I continued petting him for almost half an hour. He had successfully cheered me up, and I thanked him for it before making my way to the bathroom to look in the mirror.
Sure enough, my eyeliner bled down with my tears. I began wiping it off, glad I only used a little bit of makeup. I re-applied my eyeliner which Red so graciously brought me with his small talons. When I finished, I gave the eyeliner back to Red, who returned it to the drawer he retrieved it from. I wondered how he figured out where it was, but I didn't feel the need to question it. I heard the front door unlock and open followed by Flare's voice.
"I'm home, favorite pony!" He said.
I ran to the front of the house and hugged him tightly. I had quite a story for the day to tell him.
I yawned as existence faded in around me after my peaceful state of slumber. Looking forward, I saw Flare's still sleeping face. I felt his soft, warm exhales touching me, generating a soft wind under the covers. I rolled slightly, looking at the fabric nest Red had rested himself in. I tried opening my eyes further, to notice the intense light pouring in from the window. What time was it? I leaned over to glance at the clock, seeing a 10:30 AM glowing in a green tinted blue. I began to roll back over into bed, then realized the severity of the situation.
I shot up from my position, letting the insulative layers float up as I bolted out of the room and down the stairs into the kitchen. I had to make coffee, or else Flare and I would suffer the consequences. What are the consequences? Headaches, really bad headaches. I ground up the coffee beans and scooped up the grounds into the filter which I applied to the socket on the machine. I put the small glass under the dispenser and pressed the button. I then fetched two coffee cups, pouring the warm caffeinated substance into one coffee cup. I repeated the first process and went to grab the milk and agave nectar. I poured more coffee into the other cup and added the appropriate amount of my additives.
Flare slowly and carefully stumbled down the stairs, dazed and confused at my abrupt awakening. I looked at him and levitated the cup to him. He promptly took it and began sipping on it. He sat down at the table and rubbed his eyes. I sat next to him and leaned up against him, closing my eyes and snuggling in. He wrapped a hoof around me and levitated my coffee over. I smiled at him as he held me.
"Good morning." He croaked.
I responded, "You too."
"Your magic is already getting better." He remarked.
I smiled again, "Thanks."
I drank a bit of my coffee. As usual, it was slightly bitter with a sweet note and a strong creamy taste. Just like my dad would make. There was another nice thing I could say about him. He made the best coffee. And the best part, it helped wake you up. My special somepony seemed to enjoy it as well. I finished off my coffee and went to rinse the cup out. Today was Flare's day off, so we would be able to do something together. But what would that something be? I had no idea yet, but I knew Flare had a plan.
I made my way up to our room to put my dress on, as well as my shoes. I noticed Red still hadn't woken up, so I decided not to bother him. Just then, my phone started ringing. Looking at it, I found that my parents were calling again. I sighed soberly as I silenced the phone and set it down on my nightstand. I still didn't want to talk to my parents. I was still mad, and felt rejected. I did at least appreciate that they were at least showing concern to try and contact me. As the call timed out, I received a voicemail from my dad. I was tempted to open it up and listen, but decided to put it off for now. I wanted to have a day with Flare, not be bummed out because of my parents.
I went to the bathroom to do my make-up. I had gotten good at it and didn't really have to think much to apply it. I exited the room as I pulled up MgP on my phone to see what was up. Oddly enough, I had no notifications. I left my thoughts on the daily inevitable memes that showed up on the sight and finally sjoved my phone into its usual place.
"Ready to go?" Asked Flare as he retrieved the car keys.
I nodded as we stepped out the front door and got in the car. I had no idea where we were going, so I stared intently out the passenger side window, looking for landmarks that I might recognise, seeing nothing once we left town. I began to see trees as we started going deeper into a forest. Only some beams of sunlight leaked through in most parts of the area. Then, we got to n elevated clearing. We drove further and further up until we arrived at a cliff face overlooking hundreds of trees with a beautiful view of Canterlot.
"I used to come here a lot just be alone." He calmly told me.
I smiled, "It's beautiful!"
He nodded as we got out and sat at the edge of the cliff. I looked out at the landscape, seeing the sunlight bathe the area, only broken by the trees, forming barriers of shade. I took a deep breath of the fresh air, becoming intoxicated by the feeling of breathing air with a lack of most artificial materials. I closed my eyes as i laid my head down on Flare's shoulder and relaxed for a minute.
"Did your parents call again yet?" Asked my special somepony.
I nodded, remaining quiet.
"Well, did you answer?" He inquired.
I shook my head no, "They did leave a message though. I don't know if I want to listen to it yet. I don't know if I'm ready."
"Hey, no, that's fine. Take the time you need. But if you need help telliing them, I'm here and always willing." He responded.
I nuzzled him, "I love you."
"I love you too." He wrapped one of his front legs around me.
Around noon, we pulled a picnic basket out of the car and retrieved sandwiches. We quietly ate in each other's embraces, enjoying the breathtaking view. On the way back home, we stopped at various tourist attractions and took some selfies with each other. I enjoyed spending time with Flare more than anything, bjt the message stayed in the ba k of my mind the whole time. What was it going to say? Were my parents going to say they hated me? Were they officially disowning me?
When we finally got home, it was starting to get dark. I sat down on the front porch and readied myself for what they had to say and played the message before I had a second thought.
"Hey, Aria. It's your dad. I'm sorry for snapping on you like that. I should know better. Listen, I don't know the first thing about this whole transgender thing, but if it's how you feel, I guess what I can do is accept it. It'll feel pretty weird calling you my daughter though. You know, after over twenty years of calling you son? Look, your mom and I, we're worried sick about you. I'm gonna call again tomorrow, now I understand if you don't want to answer. After the way I treated you, I wouldn't want to talk to me either. But I'd be pretty happy to hear my so- my daughter's voice. Well, I've gotta go spend time with your mom. We love you, Aria. And we're sorry."
I wiped a tear away as I began to cry. It was out of emotions conflicting. I was frustrated at myself, happy my parents were being accepting, and angry that they hadn't shown that before, and so many other things which I didn't know how to say. I sighed as I looked down. I was going to answer my dad the next day. I was going to say sorry.
It was the final day of the spell and I was waiting around in the living room on the couch for my father to call. Flare sat next to me with a leg wrapped reassuringly around me. He kissed my cheek, comforting me as the anticipation built up. The room was silent until the low pitched sound of my phone's vibration sounded. I picked it up, seeing the call from my parental figure. I sighed, answering the call and putting it on speaker.
"Aria? Are you there?" Asked my dad.
I responded, "Yeah, I'm here, dad."
"Thank Celestia you're okay." He sighed.
I coldly asked, "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Well, you kinda just left and didn't respond to calls and we were just worried. Are you staying with somepony?" He inquired.
I replied, "My special somepony. Would you like to talk to him?"
"I would most certainly like to talk to him." Said my father.
Flare chimed in, "Aria is in caring hooves, sir."
"That's good. You'd better take good care of her, you hear me?" Ordered my dad.
He smiled, "Don't worry, I will."
"And how about that voice, Aria? You're getting good at it." My father said.
I replied, "There's a magic spell. It made me physically female for three days, and this is the third day. We'll be trying to find somepony to permanently change me now."
"Well, I was worried about the having kids thing. Guess you'll have that covered?" He asked.
I responded, "That's what it looks like."
"Well, good luck. Hey, visit us sometime, okay? Doesn't even have to be soon. Maybe on Shining's next birthday?" Suggested my dad.
I proposed, "Or maybe my birthday. That's sooner, so there is that."
"We don't have to plan right now, have a good day, Aria, and make sure that stallion treats you well." He hung up.
Flare and I smiled at each other for a moment and I tackled him into a hug on the couch. He giggled as I kissed him on the cheek. We soon partook in a private ceremony often kept secret, something I had never felt before, but it felt natural to me. Like we had always been destined for it. Afterward, we sat up on the couch as I laid my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his leg around me again. With Flare, I always felt safe. He kept me protected from everything and I felt warm up against him as a plus. I loved to take care of him too. I made coffee in the mornings, made sure he ate, as he seemed to have a problem being distracted, and I would do anything for him.
I got up and went to our bedroom to search for any magic users who would be willing to make a spell permanent, soon finding one based only 5 miles from our home, in the magic district of town. I was unsure at first, as the magic district here unlike other towns was rather shady. There were black magic dealers in the alleys and if a pony were to not make payments in time, they would be abducted and unspeakable things would happen to them.
I opened a new tab in the browser and found a controlled pulse spell and read how to use it. I then went out into the backyard and set up a board like a target. I repeated the steps and fired magic, seeing the board be pushed, but not powerful enough. I took a deep breath and straightened my stance. Feeling the magic flow through me and channel out my horn, sending a visible shockwave toward the board, quickly breaking it in half and even cracking a brick on the house behind where I set it up.
"Whoa!" Marveled Flare, "I'm glad I'm not on your bad side..."
I replied, "It's only for self defense. The unicorn I found is located in the magic district. His business looks fine, it's the others I'm worried about."
"Do we need to take the book for his reference?" Flare asked.
I responded, "I think that's a good idea."
"Okay, first, teach me that pulse thing. Just so both of us can defend ourselves." He said.
Within ten minutes, we were in the car, driving to the location. Since the magic district had no roads intended for cars, we parked in an empty lot outside of it. As we walked down the pavement, many greedy dealers shot us looks, obviously hoping we would buy one of their forbidden spells. I looked across the way and saw a more well kept shop, standing out from all the others. The sign read "Starswirl's Shoppe of Wonders"
"That's the place." I pointed.
He looked at me, "Starswirl? I thought he was an important wizard, and I thought he was dead."
"That's a different Starswirl. This one was named after that one, and he was actually kicked out of the Canterlot University of Magic because of body augmentation spells. It was controversial at the time." I informed.
We proceeded into the shop, greeted by an unassuming unicorn with an unusual cadence to his speech.
He looked at us, "Welcome to my establishment. Are you two looking for recreational spells, augmentations, or something else entirely?"
"Well, Mr. Starswirl, I saw your website and saw you can make spells permanent?" I inquired.
"Ah, yes. You must be Aria, the pony who emailed me, I read it not one minute ago and I have to say, your special somepony appears to be very skilled. Not all sexual reassignment spells look so natural." He remarked.
I levitated the book out of my saddlebag and flipped to the page showing the spell and he levitated it to himself.
"This is one spell I've not seen in a long time. It was covered up by most sources. How did you get this book?" Asked Starswirl.
Flare awkwardly responded, "PonEBay..."
"Is that even legal?" He asked.
Flare shrugged his shoulders.
"No matter, at least it's not black magic." He stated.
I looked at the passage of the spell he was currently reading, "The specifications didn't seem to have any instructions on how to make it permanent."
"Quite true, but counting the lines tells me which book to look in and the number of characters in the first line tell me which chapter. The number at the end shows which page of said chapter. I studied Starswirl The Bearded's writings long enough to discover his loopholes. He often passed his augmentation spells for recreational ones, but he always had a secret complimentary spell to make it permanent. You simply have to find it." He explained.
I watched him pull another book from his shelf and use the process to find the exact page he was looking for. He began reading, soon to make a confused expression.
He asked, "which day of the spell did you say you were on?"
"Day three." I stated.
He looked at me, "Are you impregnated?"
"I don't-" He interrupted.
"It has to happen on the first day. Because it usually takes two days to work. Did you two..." He implied our actions which had happened this morning.
My expression darkened, "We did this morning, but not on the first day..."
A tear streamed down my face before Starswirl quickly set the books down and put a hoof on my shoulder, "Do not cry. The time seems to vary between quality of transition. I've seen one case where it happened on the second day, and that pony's transition wasn't nearly as high quality as yours. Your attempt may very well be successful."
"Is that guaranteed?" Asked Flare.
Starswirl looked down, "It isn't."
Flare began tapping his hoof frustratedly. He glared and primed the spell I had taught him earlier.
Starswirl gasped, running for cover, "No! Please! It wasn't my fault! Give me some time to find a working spell for her!"
Flare pulled his head to the side and ended up knocking a bookshelf over, sending recreational spell books flying. He angrily stormed out and sat down on the steps out front.
"I'm sorry." I began.
Star interjected, "I cannot say I wouldn't react in a similar way. You seem very important to him. I shall do my best. But I cannot make a guarantee."
"Is there any way I can help?" I asked.
He replied, "There was one book Starswirl wrote without a name. The cover is completely blank. The pages are golden. If the spell is anywhere, it's there. If you wish to make a contribution, you might be able to track that book down. But, it is a one of a kind. I am not sure where you might find the book, but I do have theories."
"Tell me." I said.
"On the black market." He answered.
My eyes widened, "W-what?"
"I understand if you don't want to do it-" I interrupted him.
"No, I'll look. Only for today though." I said.
He sighed, "Know that I would also provide a better home for it than any illegal market buyer would."
I exited the shop and sat next to Flare.
"I'm sorry." He said.
I reassured him, "You're fine."
"I'll help clean up the books..." He said.
I looked at him, "How many bits do you have on you right now?"
"Five thousand, why?" He asked.
I looked around and whispered, "Seriously? Who carries around five thousand bits?"
He looked in his wallet at the coins, "Oh, ten thousand, I mean."
"How much are you paid a day?" I questioned.
He thought, "Now that is five thousand."
"That's as much as I make, and I run an online store on Steamtrain." I marveled.
He paused, "Okay, why are you asking how many bits I have?"
"Well, Star mentioned a book he thinks is probably on the black market." I replied.
His eyes widened, "So he wants a black magic book?"
"It was written by Starswirl the Bearded." I stated.
He looked confused, "I didn't know he practiced black magic."
"Look, it's not black magic. Just not a lot of ponies know about it." I explained.
He sighed and gave me his wallet as he walked into the shop to help clean up. I began to look in the alleys at the items in the makeshift stands.
"Hey, pretty lady, see anything you like?" Asked one of the dealers.
I looked at him, "No." I glanced at the table, seeing a black book with golden pages, "Wait, un-freaking-believable. You have it?!"
"Hmmm? Well, I've got a lot of stuff, but do you have something I want?" He looked greedily at my saddlebags and his gaze shifted from that to the chest area of my dress.
I glared at him, "Body's off limits. I've got money, you've got that book. I want it, how much?"
"Well, that's a pretty expensive one. But if you didn't pay me in money-" He looked at me.
I pulled out Flare's wallet, "How about ten thousand bits?"
"WHAT?!?! Who carries around ten thousand bits?!?!" The dealer looked shocked.
I dumped the bits on his table, "Do we have a deal?"
He nodded as I picked up the book and put it in my saddlebag. I was glad it didn't take any longer. I walked back to the shop and gave Flare his wallet back. The two looked at me expectantly. I pulled out the book and Starswirl nearly had a heart attack.
"How in the world did you manage to find that?" He asked.
I looked at him, "The black market apparently. Those dealers are obnoxious."
"H-how much?" He asked me.
I responded, "Ten thousand."
"Who carries around ten thousand bits?" He questioned.
Flare facehoofed, "I do."
"Well, lucky for you two, I'm running the most profitable official shop in the district. I will pay you back fifteen thousand, so you make some on it." He said.
My jaw dropped as Flare responded, "Just pay us back the ten thousand, we don't need profit on it."
"Suit yourself." He said as he returned the money to Flare.
I cleared my throat, "So, uhh... Are we going to do this?"
"Come back in a day, just to make sure whether or not this stays." Star said.
We walked out of the store and to our car. Driving away, the two of us began laughing hysterically.
"I am never buying from the black market again!" I said between laughing fits.
Flare wheezed, "I can't even believe you found the book!"
"Today is really weird!" I remarked.
He replied, "There's the understatement of the year!"
We both stopped laughing to breathe. The two of us stayed quiet for the whole ride home. We got out, I put my saddlebags away and walked into the living room.
I woke up, not wanting to do anything. All I wanted to do was go to sleep again. The light pouring in from the window directly at my face had other plans though. I looked over to my side, seeing my special somepony still asleep, and still holding me protectively. I carefully slipped out of the bed, as to not wake him, and made my way quietly downstairs. I repeated the usual process of making coffee and picked up my mug. I looked down into the liquid, seeing my reflection. I didn't see a stallion, I saw the mare I had been for the past three days. I gasped, realizing Starswirl's hypothesis was right. I sat my coffee mug down as I pranced upstairs and to the bedroom, waking Flare up with a kiss on the cheek.
"Good morning love." I cheerfully remarked.
He groaned as he rubbed his eyes, "What's got you so happy this morning?"
When he removed his hooves from his face, he looked at me and his jaw dropped. He rubbed his eyes again to make sure he wasn't seeing anything.
"Holy crap!" He exclaimed.
I smiled, "Yeah, how about this?"
"He was right!" Flare was dumbfounded.
I nodded, "I know!"
After about five minutes, we were sitting at the kitchen table, drinking our coffee and smiling at each other. I loved Flare, and now I was going to have a kid with him. I was excited, happy, and receiving an email?
I pulled out my phone to see a hastily written message from Starswirl that read "come here quick"
I was confused by the message as I drank the last of my coffee. I figured it was an urgent thing, so I convinced Flare to get in the car with me and drive us back to the magic district. When we arrived at Star's shop, one of the front windows was shattered. Several police officers were at the scene, examining the damage. An ambulance had managed to make it through the bumpy road and Star was sitting on the step on the back with a blanket wrapped around him. His nose was bloody and he looked awfully shaken up. A few other shop owners had come out to look at the scene, but other than that, the street was eerily empty. The black magic dealers had retreated deeper into the alleys, giving law enforcement a reason to turn a blind eye, and no magic obsessed ponies were around to witness the most profitable magic shop in the district in its current state.
I walked up to Star, "What happened?"
"I-uhh th-they t-took the..." he trailed off.
I put a hoof on his shoulder, "It's okay, what did they take?"
"The book. They took the book." He began to regain his composure.
I looked him in the eyes, "Who were they?"
"I'm afraid I don't know. A few ruffians broke the window, threw a rock at my face and took the book from its case..." He replied.
I inquired, "Do you know who might do such a thing?"
"I'm afraid not, but I would look into the black magic dealers, starting with the one you bought the book from." He suggested.
I thanked him as I walked into the door of the shop.
An officer stopped me, "Sorry ma'am, this is a crime scene. Unless you have a relation or affiliation to the victim, you can't be here."
"I'm a friend of Star's. I found the book that somepony stole for him." I stated.
He gestured toward the damage, "By all means, take a look, then. But I don't think you're gonna find anything we didn't."
"What do you think happened?" I asked.
He replied, "I think a couple of black magic dealers thought they could make a lot of quick money off of that book. So they broke in and took it. Serves him right for keeping it in a glass case if you ask me."
"Will you try to stop me if I try to get it back?" I probed.
He said, "Be my guest. The less money black magic dealers can make, the better."
I gave a thankful nod and headed out the store. Once out, I proceeded to the alley in which I purchased the book. I walked further in until I found the pony who ran the makeshift shop. He looked up at me and smiled greedily.
"Come to give that other type of payment?" He asked smugly.
I glared at him, "What happened with the book."
"It's not my job to babysit your buyer." He retorted, uneasily.
I primed the pulse spell, "I'm not playing games. Don't you dare lie to me."
"Okay, okay! I saw Pentagram and River Styx pacing the street earlier, they were talking about how much they could make off of it!" He frantically explained.
I pulled my magic, so only a weak pulse hit him, still making him flinch, "You guys have some awful names."
I walked out and to the shop owner next to Star's shop.
"I'm trying to get that book back and I have a lead on a Pentagram and River Styx. Do you by any chance know where they are?" I inquired.
She smiled at me, "They've been causing trouble for months now! And finally something they can be arrested for! I'll be happy to help you!" She pointed at the alley on the far side of the shop next to Star's.
I thanked her for her help and proceeded in, my spell primed again. I saw a table set up with various items. The book was laying between other odd looking items. I glared at the two nearby and picked it up, starting to walk away.
"Hey! You can't take that!" The stallion stood up and yelled.
I stopped and turned around, my horn glowing, "It's the book or your lives, and I'll still take the book in the second option."
"What are YOU going to do?" Asked the mare, likely Pentagram, as that was her cutie mark.
I let my pulse out onto a trash can and the shockwave tore straight through the thick metal. The two's eyes widened as I shot them an apathetic expression.
"Let that be a warning." I said as I turned back around and walked out.
I approached Star and gave him the book, "Don't put it in a glass case. Put it in a secure display. You don't want it to be stolen again."
"You appear to remain physically female." Star pointed out.
I nodded.
"Doesn't that mean, you're pregnant?" He asked.
My eyes widened in realization, "Oh, oh my Celestia."
Our car ride home was silent as I processed the next step of my life.
We had finally reached February 17, my birthday and I was just waking up early in the morning, lounging in the passenger seat of Flare's sedan. My stomach appeared to be larger than it normally would due to the foal, and I was more excited than on any of my other birthdays due to the context. I looked at the scenery as it quickly whizzed by, only giving me a fleeting view. Though that was all I needed. I knew where we were. I was intimately familiar with the woods outside Canterlot. Especially the one tree that used to be my prince in my old back yard.
Flare glanced at me, "Morning, princess."
He had begun to affectionately refer to me with that nickname after I had mused of my imaginary adventures in the woods. I liked it, he made me feel pretty in a way upon using it. I silently looked ahead to see my old home growing ever closer. Out front was a party obviously set up. There were various decorations and a table stacked high with what appeared to be gifts. High meaning just above head level, but still, it was a sizeable stack of presents.
I smiled at Flare for a moment, returning my eyes to the house. I saw Aurora, Shining Waterfall, my mom, and my dad all chatting, and I was anxious to join in. I watched the circle of thicker forest envelope us as we pulled into the driveway, directing the attention of the four smiling faces. Once we were parked, I got out and eagerly approached them, hugging each loved one.
"Careful about moving too much, you're pregnant!" Flare called out at me.
I smiled, "Sorry, I'm just so happy to see these ponies!"
"Is it a colt or a filly?" Asked Aurora.
I looked at her, "We don't know yet. But I do know they'll be adorable."
"Very true. Is this the special somepony?" She gestured at Flare.
I nodded as I went and pulled him along by his hoof to meet my friends and family, "Flare, this is Aurora, Shining Waterfall, my mom, and my dad. Guys, this is my special somepony, Flare."
"Hey, how are you?" He asked, somewhat casually.
My father looked surprised, "Aria, you picked a rather handsome one."
"Dad, we talked about this." I lightly scolded.
He chuckled, "I know, I know. But I might have to try and step up my game."
"Sir, you are 66 years old." Shining comedicaly pointed out.
He pointed at her, "You make a good point."
I went to the car to unload my dresses for Aurora and Shining, hearing my dad and Flare talking with each other.
"You're taking good care of Aria, right?" He asked.
Flare responded, "Yes sir, she's become my princess."
"Yeah, I know. I'm still surprised she didn't want to be a prince. You know, physically male she was a mare-killer." He remarked.
Flare laughed a bit, "Yeah, but she's the most beautiful mare I've ever laid eyes on physically female."
"Well, I guess I can't deny that. But I'm gonna reiterate something for you. You hurt her, and you are unwelcome to so much as look at her ever again. Got it?" My dad said.
Flare placed a hoof on my dad's shoulder, "I promise, I will never hurt her. She's the most important pony to me and I wouldn't be able to live with myself having hurt her."
I began to tear up. Hearing that made me rather emotional. I wiped the tears that had formed in my eyes and proceeded to take the two dresses to Aurora and Shining. They were white with lace designs around the trim. They were stunning, but they were also very obviously bridesmaids dresses.
"Wait are you...?" Shining trailed off.
I nodded my head, smiling as the two squealed and enveloped me in a big hug. I hugged them back, sighing in happiness. This is what I had hoped family felt like for my whole life. I wished this moment could last forever. I wished the three of us had been able to be in this feeling of soft warmth forever. It would be the best eternity ever. Though, sadly, like all good things, it came to an end. We all backed away a bit and exchanged smiles. They went off to rejoin the group.
The five of them were all talking and enjoying each other's company, so I took the time to revisit the shed. The tin was far more rusted than it had been before, and it clearly hadn't been maintained while I was gone.
"You've aged a lot, old friend." I spoke softly, walking inside.
I looked at the frayed rope where the noose was before I had cut it down and smirked. If it were still there today, I wouldn't have seen it as such a temptation. The tractor in the shed was even more rusty than before. Before, there was no way anypony could get it running. Now, there was certainly no way any pony could get it running. I softly brushed a hoof on the main support pillar of the shed and heard a loud creak. I flinched, as I became paranoid of the structure, but nothing happened. I began to start out, and that's when the shed fell. I got trapped under some of the fallen structure, miraculously uninsured. I was simply close to the ground.
"Help!!!" I called.
Soon, Flare and my dad rounded the corner and came to my aid, working together to free me from the destruction.
Flare looked at me concerned, "Aria, are you okay? Did you get hurt."
"Surprisingly, I'm fine. But thank you." I said.
He wrapped his front legs around me in a hug, "Oh, thank Celestial. And Luna. They're looking out for my princess."
"You need to be more careful, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" My dad proclaimed in a worried tone.
I returned Flare's hug, "I love you too."
My father sighed, "I'm glad you're okay."
We embraced each other tightly as my father walked back out front. We let go and walked with each other back to the others. I was more than grateful that he and my dad came to help.
"Don't you ever do that to me again." He said.
I replied, "I won't, I promise."
We made our way back to the front of the house. My mom brought out grilled cheese sandwiches as our meal. While it doesn't sound like such an amazing meal, my parents used nice bread and cheese for it, which made it so good.
"Mom, you haven't really talked much today, is something wrong?" I asked in between bites.
She looked at me, "I'm sorry, sweetie. It's just hard to process that you're... you know..."
"Yeah, I know." I sighed.
When we finished eating, Aurora brought me one of the wrapped boxes for me to open. I peeled off the paper and lifted the top off to find something I loved. It was my all time favorite beverage, which I hadn't been able to find for years. There were four of the cardboard four packs. I grabbed a rose lemonade from the package and quickly opened it, taking a swig the light, sweet drink.
I smiled, "It's just as amazing as I remember it! Thank you, Aurora!"
She smiled as Shining went to grab one of her gifts to me. It was in a bag with neatly placed tissue paper in the top. I carefully removed it and looked inside, seeing a makeup kit. It was the same variety Aurora gave to us. I smiled at the thoughtful gift and exchanged grateful expressions with Shining. My dad brought me a small package without wrapping. I looked confused for a moment as it didn't look much like a present. I opened it anyway to see car keys. I looked at the symbol stamped into it and my jaw dropped. A McClarintosh. My dad got me a McClarintosh. He pressed his button on his garage door opener, revealing the beautiful vehicle.
"You wanna drive it yet?" He asked.
I quickly answered, "Yes, yes I do."
"Heh, open the rest of your gifts first." He laughed.
My mom set a box in front of me. I opened it quickly. It was a brand new gaming laptop.
My eyes widened, "Thank you so much, but how are you guys getting gifts like this for me?"
My mom shrugged, smirking a bit but not letting me in on whatever their secret was. I smiled and rolled my eyes as the next gift came from Aurora. It was a pastel pink dress that looked simple at a glance, but had intricate bead designs on it. I was slightly disappointed with the fact that I couldn't wear it yet, but I would soon. Shining brought me another bag with a friendship bracelet in it. I smiled brightly and immediately put it on. I hugged her as Flare grabbed my last gift. It was a small decorative box, and I was pretty sure I knew what it was. Opening it, I found a golden horn ring, my engagement ring. I squealed as I hugged Flare tightly. We had already planned to get married, but I was still mesmerized by the amazing gesture.
I put the ring on as we approached my new car. I opened the door and got in as he sat in the passenger seat. The vehicle roared to life when I got to pressing the gas. I pulled out of the driveway onto the surprisingly clean road. I accelerated to a very high speed, ignoring the speedometer in favor of the road. I made the quick circuit of speed and centrifugal force before pulling back into the driveway. I wasn't concerned with a cop catching me as they tended to not enforce around these roads.
"That was awesome!" I exclaimed as I got out.
Flare chuckled as he stepped out as well. My dad had grabbed a chocolate cake out of the house which looked extremely appetizing. It wasn't big, but I so wanted to try it. He cut it and dealt out slices. I took a bite of the flavorful piece. Then I took another one, and another. Soon we had eaten the whole cake, as it was so good.
I looked at the others, "Okay, that being delicious wasn't just because of my pregnancy, was it?"
They laughed and confirmed that the cake was indeed amazing. We all said our goodbyes, I loaded up my gifts and we headed out. I followed Flare in my McClarintosh, a bit disappointed we couldn't stay longer, but it was a long enough drive home that if we wanted to get back before the next day, we would have to leave before the evening.
I rode in the passenger side seat of my McClarintosh as Flare fired it down the road on the way to the hospital. The foal was coming, and there was no stopping it from happening, so the best thing to do was have medical professionals make the process as easy as possible. We had already alerted the authorities to our reasoning for such haste and a police car was running behind us making sure to keep the siren on so other ponies knew to move out of the way. When we arrived at the hospital, I was rushed out of the car and was quickly on my way inside. I was swiftly taken to a room where the baby was delivered. At the end of the procedure, I was worried to not hear any noise from my foal, and even more so to see the forlorn expressions of the doctors and nurses as they rushed the filly out, presumably to save her.
After a few minutes, my heart skipped a beat as Flare burst in the door.
"How did it go?" He asked.
I replied, "Well, delivery seemed to go smoothly, but I'm not sure about our kid."
"What? Why not?" His eyes widened.
I held back tears, "She didn't make a sound when she came out and the doctors didn't look optimistic in the least..."
Flare teared up as he hugged me tightly. He comforted me greatly. I knew that if our child didn't make it, we would try again, but it didn't make the possibility of the loss hurt any less. Soon, we were sitting in anticipation of what could come next. We waited there for what seemed like hours. We occasionally had some small talk as well as reminders of love as we waited. It got into the evening before a nurse walked in with a dark expression, obviously bearing bad news.
She cleared our throat, "Y-your filly didn't survive. The cause of death was due to blunt force trauma. D-did you by any chance do anything that may have caused that?"
I put my hoof over my mouth as tears streamed down my face. I remembered the shed falling down on me. I thought I had been completely fine, but obviously something went wrong. I didn't think it could've happened to me and Flare. I had new found sympathy for those it had happened to before.
It was a long while before I was released from the hospital, not with a newborn foal, but with grief. I road in the passenger side of my car, looking out the window as the scenery drifted behind us. Everything seemed darker. How could life let this happen? How were ponies put into a reality that would do this to us. I waited nine whole months in anticipation to be disappointed due to a mistake that effectively killed the baby. I felt tears stream down my face as we got closer to the house.
We both got inside silently. I climbed up the stairs and into bed, curling up and crying. I let it all out until it faded off into a dark void of nothingness. I had fallen asleep. It had been years since I had a dreamless night, and I distinctly remembered that they usually seemed rather short. This one was not one such slumber. I felt like I was somberly staring at an abyss for what seemed like days. I awoke to white light pouring in through the window. Flare wasn't in the bed with me.
I stumbled down the steps and went out back to see my special somepony asleep in one of the patio chairs with dark circles under his eyes. I went back inside to find a blanket and gently covered him with it. Going back inside, I didn't make coffee, I simply pulled out a Ditzy Cola from the fridge for my caffeine. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I wiped off my smeared makeup but didn't bother to redo it. Wandering into the living room, I plopped myself down on the couch and turned on the PonyStation, playing the most violent games we had for hours, just to try and get my mind momentarily distracted.
At around noon, I looked out back to see that Flare was still sound asleep, so I went to the kitchen and made a cup of coffee for him. Going back out, I set the cup on the small table next to the chair he was sleeping in. I glanced over at where I had set up the wood plank as a magic target and saw several more thoroughly broken planks. I also saw were Flare had begun to set up a new one.
"Did you do that all night?" I asked, not expecting an answer.
Still not awake, Flare drowsily groaned. He then slightly squirmed under the blanket. The chair was long enough for another pony, so I carefully got under the blanket and cuddled up next to him, watching Red play in the tree. I doubted that Red knew what happened. I still didn't hold it against him. He was a bird, after all.
After a few minutes, Flare started to stir. He yawned and stretched a bit, opening his eyes and looking around. He took a few sips of his coffee and looked at me. We both stayed silent, neither of us knew what to say. I thought about calling my friends and/or my parents, but I didn't want to break the news to them quite yet. Though I couldn't really say I particularly wanted to do anything at that moment.
Flare and I spent the rest of the day sitting together, watching Red play in the tree, unknowing of what would be to come.
I took a deep breath while looking outward from the front porch, reminiscing about the good and bad luck my partner and I had gone through. The process after the miscarriage really did feel like hell. Regardless of what had happened, we were okay now. Everything was still happening, and reality didn't care whether or not we were going to go along with it. Though times hadn't been all bad. I got married to my favorite stallion, and for once in my life, I felt like my family actually liked me or something. It was nice, despite the sadness of the recent events around that time.
My game development hadn't been going particularly well. Since my recent experiences, any inspiration I had for a meaningful game was too depressing, I thought. Ponies wouldn't want to play any six hour downer quests. As a result, what I made was just essentially a collection of minigames. Sure, customers thought they were fun and all, but my fans wondered what happened to the deep, interesting masterpieces I previously made. For a moment, I considered how they would react if I were to publish any of my interesting ideas. I closed my eyes, deciding that at this point, it didn't matter what I published, if it would save my fanbase, that would be all that mattered.
When I opened my eyes, I saw the flag on the mailbox had been pushed to the upward position. Curiously, I got up from my seat and walked up to it, pulling out a few letters. I closed the mailbox and flicked the flag down, proceeding back to the porch. The letter I first saw wasn't the usual late property tax notification, but a letter from Aurora. I set it down gently on the table beside me. I hadn't answered any of her attempts to contact me since the wedding. She had to be angry at me, I was sure of it. I sighed as I saw the next letter: A will from my parents, who were both deceased at this point. I wished I had spent more time with them after coming out. I set the envelope on top of Aurora's letter. The third item was a postcard from Shining Waterfall, who had gone through the sex change spell and had a child of her own since Flare and my marriage.
I watched my vision start to grow blurry and refracted as I felt warm tears drip from my eyes down to the piece of photo paper. I looked at the smiling faces of Shining, her husband, and her daughter. I was happy for her, yes, but seeing her living a happy life brought me sorrowful memories of sitting in the hospital room, hearing the doctors sugar coat my misfortune. I looked at the hoof-written words: "Wish you were here" in beautiful calligraphy by my old friend. To most ponies, this would be a sweet but generic statement, but to me, this held far more weight. I slammed my hoof against the surface of the hardwood table next to me. How could I be such a horrible friend to those who care for me this much? I didn't know the answer and that only frustrated me more.
I wiped away my tears as I set the postcard on top of the will from my parents. Looking down, I saw an official looking envelope with a red stamp mark on it that read "eviction notice." I sighed heavily as I opened the paper version of Pandora's Box. According to the form, we had 6 weeks to pay off the property tax or we would be officially evicted and summarily removed from the premises. I ripped the form in half, as it didn't require me to send it back. Getting up and leaving the letters, I walked inside and threw the notice in the general direction of the trash bin. I journeyed past the spilled can of coffee beans and the espresso machine with coffee grounds ejected on the counter beside it. We had really let the place go for the past five years.
I entered the now dusty office only showing use of the computer and chair, powering the device on and starting a new game project. The hardest decision of all my meaningful creations hit me in full force this time. It was obvious what I should name my previous projects since the miscarriage. I would type in "darts" or "bowling" as those were the objects of the game. It had been years since I had thought about the title to something that would have true depth to it. I didn't know what I would type in for the name, so I made a bad decision: I slapped on whatever title popped into my head: I Am Broken.
"Good Celestia, it SOUNDS depressing." I said aloud to myself, as if giving my own game a reviewer's critique.
I began creating an overall environment. I created a dark, gloomy forest with burned, dead looking trees. The ground was grey with elongated shadows. There were dead brambles all around. The overall tone made me feel sad. My main character was a huge contrast with the environment. A bright orange fox was created to journey through the unwelcoming forest, but to what end? I created a glowing flower and duplicated it multiple times throughout the forest. The fox would have to traverse through the dangerous terrain to each flower. When the fox got to the flowers, he would give some love and care for a moment, causing the plants to bloom and make the forest more welcoming. Trees would begin to show life, brambles became green bushes. Grass and moss grew on the ground. The sky went from a dreary grey to a cheerful blue. The elongated threatening shadows became cool spots of shade in soft shapes as the sun illuminated them.
In play testing, each time I got to another flower, I felt happier. I felt better than I did before. Though by the end, something seemed missing. The game had profound meaning, but not nearly the meaning I hoped for. I began adding to the character's actions. Every time the fox gave to the flowers, its coat grew more washed out, more grey. Its movements slowed, as if it was giving its own life, so the forest could live. It wasn't an uplifting story, but it was indeed meaningful. Then, I added a final scene, where the fox would collapse. The unfulfilling moment was then improved upon by having forest creatures come to the aid of the fox, sharing their own love and care until the fox's coat was exactly the brilliant color it originally had been. I animated images of the fox happily journeying through the place it saved with its newfound friends.
Smiling, I published the game to several game distribution clients, sending my whole fanbase notifications of the new game. I had written a description apologizing for my previously subpar work, and presenting my new piece of playable art. I took a deep breath in as I walked out of the office into the rest of the house, which was in disrepair. I frowned at the mess and began to clean it up. I went to the living room and organized the games, putting discs back into their proper cases and arranging them neatly on the shelf and put the controllers nicely on the coffee table, which I removed the dirty plates from and cleaned the surface of. I vacuumed the couch cushions off until they were visibly clean.
Moving to the bathroom, I put toiletries in their proper places. The toilet paper went on the rack next to the toilet, the shampoo, conditioner, body wash, moisturizer, and soap went to their proper places. I cleaned the floor, the toilet, the counter, the sink, and the mirror. Moving to our bedroom, I folded and put away clean clothing and put dirty clothing in the washer. I took dishes out and put them in the kitchen sink. I made the bed, even. Moving on to the kitchen, I took out all the trash and scooped all the coffee beans back into their can. I cleaned all the machinery and counter tops. I arranged our few clean dishes neatly in the cabinets and began a new load of the dirty ones in the dishwasher. I sat back in a chair at the kitchen table and gazed at the result of my labor. The house looked welcoming inside again, and I felt accomplished.
Flare got home from work, turning around to see the now clean house, "Well, somepony's been busy. What's the occasion?"
"I released a new game." I informed.
He set his laptop bag down, "You've released like 25 in the past five years. What's so special about this one?"
"It has meaning." I replied.
He looked at me, "You're going with your inspiration again? That's great news."
I nodded as he and I sat down to our first prepared meal in a long time. Even if we were going to get evicted, things seemed like they were finally looking up.
I had a sluggish wake up. Once I managed to stir enough to open my eyes, I lifted myself up and promptly fell off the bed onto the floor with a thud and a painful grunt. Flare had already left for work, and the clock said 00:11. Odd, I didn't think I had it set to 24 hour time. And Flare would've still been in bed if it were 12:11 AM.
"DEAR CELESTIA, IT'S ALMOST NOON!" The words loudly left my mouth seemingly out of my control.
Righting my orientation, I stood up and yawned, rubbing my eyes and stretching. Walking into the kitchen, I didn't bother making coffee, opting instead to grab a caffeinated soda before walking into the home office to power up the computer and check my email. There weren't any new messages except for a peculiar notification from the Internet Interactive Media Network, or IIMN. I always thought they needed a better sounding acronym. The preview of the email said something about a review.
There must've been a new game out that they got a review copy of. I opened the message to reveal the headline: Indie Game Developer Makes Explosive Comeback. It couldn't be my new game, could it? I opened the link to the review and read through.
The article read, "Previously popular indie game developer GalaxyArcade had been making rather generic games, causing the fan base to think that maybe whoever the developer is lost their touch before the new exploration game, 'I am broken' came out on SteamTrain, Game Bolt, and scratch.io three days ago. Contrary to the name, it's a rather uplifting piece, about something of various interpretations, and it's causing me to write this from a less objective perspective, because, well, that's really the only way we can think of to feature the game. Let's get into graphics first. I love the origami like look to everything, it provides for a simple but visually appealing and beautiful. The gameplay is the same smooth and responsive type of control we usually expect from Galaxy, so nothing to complain about there. Where the game shines the most though, is the theme. The fox restores the forest using its own life, so spoiler alert, it dies in the end. Then the forest animals bring it back by sharing their lives. It's a beautiful story of giving to your surroundings for the surroundings to give back to you. Overall, I think I would give this game a 7/10. It's fantastic, but honestly, Galaxy shouldn't have waited so very long to release it."
I smiled and sat back as I looked at the sales of the game. I was showing downloads worldwide, only days after release! My eyes widened as I saw how the review had obviously boosted the downloads when looking at the analytics. I could usually perform a weekly check and see a few downloads each week, but this was seconds since I navigated to the page and it was already out of date. I reloaded it to see five more downloads, then again to see three more. I grinned even more as I watched my game saving my home. I checked social media which showed requests on a new game, walking through what my games meant, which I figured would be a neat little view into my life, and if people would want it, why not? I decided I would make it a free reward for my fans.
The door of the house opened loudly and was then slammed. I stood up and walked out into the kitchen, seeing Flare with a frustrated expression. I flashed a sympathetic look as he pulled out a pink colored slip of paper.
"Again?" I asked.
He nodded, "I'm tired of working my flank off for minimum wage and not being appreciated for it."
"It'll be okay..." I assured him as I hugged him.
He sighed, "What makes you so sure of that?"
I backed off and grabbed him by the hoof, guiding him to the home office and pulling up the review.
"Holy Celestia..." He mused as I began to go to the analytics and reload the page.
His eyes widened, "Holy Celestia!"
"We're not getting evicted." I told him.
He nodded, "Yeah, I gathered that..."
"Couple dollars short of paying off the debt according to this reload." I said before reloading the page.
Ten more downloads popped up at the reload of the page. Flare fainted, literally. He fell over backwards onto the soft carpet unconscious. I gently dragged him out and into the living room, then finally on the couch before getting him a glass of ice water. When I came back, he had regained his consciousness. He thanked me for the glass of water and drank most of it within seconds before setting it down on the coffee table. He smiled at me, admiring the review from memory.
Flare cleared his throat, "I want a job I'm going to keep."
"I can probably help with that." I replied.
We formulated late into the night, only stopping for a meal. We would soon come up with the perfect plan to get Flare a job. He would be going back into pyrotechnics, as was his talent. Of course, he would certainly need help on the interview, which I was happy to provide by use of a Bluetooth headset. The mic sensitivity was set so one could hear both sides of a conversation. It wasn't a perfect solution, but it was a solution nonetheless. The second stage would be completely in Flare's hooves, it would be his duty and only his to move back up in the company until he could help maintain the household. Though, I would always be there for him to provide any help and support I could. We were going to make it through this come hell or high water.
