> A Very "Screwed" Experience > by Dark_Night > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Prologue part one > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- PROLOGUE: Death. “Daddy. Do I have a mommy?” asked a small, feminine voice. “No, little Screwball. Not anymore,” a deep, intoning voice said solemnly. “Why not? What happened?” Screwball asked curiously with a hint of sadness. “You’re too young to understand. Maybe you will later, but I can’t risk breaking your fragile sanity,” the deep voice replied, still with its solemn tone. “You are my daughter, the only being to have ever existed that is directly related to one such as myself. Therefore, it is not time yet to tell you what happened to your mother. What does matter is that you should choose not to think about it.” “But why?” little Screwball inquired, a hint of a tear present in her eye. “She’s my mommy! Can I at least know who she is? What her name is? What she looks like?” She took a moment to stare up at her father, his lion claw gripping her firmly. “Please?” He relented with an angered sigh. “Fine. Little Screwball, Daughter of Discord and Princess of Chaos, You wish to know your mother?” Discord said with barely contained frustration. Screwball shrunk visibly in front of her father. “Yes,” she squeaked out. Discord responded by waving his claw, creating a gridded pattern in the air which filled with images. The images flew by on the projection, faster than a normal pony could ever hope to see, much less comprehend. Screwball, however, was not a normal filly. She could see and understand each and every one. Images of battles from her father’s past, encounters with death, and greedy, tyrannical monsters that ruled over their subjects commanding fear and obedience. “Here we are,” Discord said, as the images came to a stop. He was unaware of the fact that Screwball had seen and understood the memories. When the images did come to a complete halt, they showed an earth pony mare. Discord sighed. “This is your mother. She looked a lot like you. Her name was Crystal Meadow.” “Crystal Meadow?” Screwball asked rhetorically. “How did you meet her?” “Well, it began a long time ago. Back before my reign of Chaos to rule Equestria-” Discord was interrupted by Screwball who raised a hoof. “Yes?” “That doesn’t make sense. It’s been a really long time since your reign… like… a million years,” the filly said, scrunching her nose in confusion. “No,” Discord clarified, chuckling. “It’s been a millennium… A thousand years.” After receiving a glint of understanding from his daughter’s eyes, he continued. “Anyway, her name was Crystal Meadow. I met her while she was traveling. She said that she wanted to see the world and all that it holds. So I obliged her. Being the crafty draconequus that I am, I did take her to see the world. At first, it was dodgy, she didn’t really like me at that time and kept trying to attack me with her hooves, but she almost never got the chance.” Discord cracked a smile, reminiscing about times with his old marefriend. He looked back at Screwball who was staring up at him excitedly and chuckled before continuing. “Eventually she warmed up to me, realizing that all wasn’t so bad. She was a kind mare, but quick to judge. Crafty but smart. She was a candle in the dark,” Discord stopped to see the reaction from his daughter to his sappy poetic lines. Screwball had a look of disgust. “Anyway, I eventually began to realize that I had feelings for the mare and I soon asked her to marry me.” “You asked my mom to marry you? How did you manage that?” Screwball asked with a smirk. Screwball may have been a filly, but she had too much knowledge and intellect. Some would say that she is ‘too smart for her own good’. “Yes. But she at first said no. At the sight of me being downtrodden, she relented. Hard to say no to a small, cute and adorable little puppy,” he chuckled. “We did get married and soon had twins. One of which is you. The other… I cannot recall. Your mother had a ward placed on my mind under direct order of the princesses to seal the memories that have anything to do with my second daughter. Truthfully, I doubt she is even still alive, or had any children to pass on her lineage.” “I have a sister?” Screwball asked reflectively to which the draconequus nodded. “Well… this has been an enlightening experience. Thank you daddy.” He smiled. “You’re welcome.” Discord floated away before placing his daughter into her bed and tucking her in. As he turned to leave she spoke up again. “Daddy? How old am I?” Discord paled at this, hoping to have avoided the question all together. “I-I… I,” Discord stammered. He calmed himself by breathing in and out several times. “Well, I suppose that this won’t hurt for you to know. You are one thousand years old. Your body has not aged due to a stasis field that was cast upon you when I went insane after Crystal…” He began muttering, voice breaking. “...died.” Screwball jumped out of bed and went to hug her dad but was surprised when her dad buried his face into her mane. “I’m sorry Crystal! I couldn’t save you!” He began bawling, crying into Screwball’s tiny mane. “Daddy? What happened? I feel like you explaining this would do you good regardless of how it affects me.” “Celestia killed her!” he sobbed. His daughter ran her tiny hooves along his torso in an attempt to calm him. “She thought that Meadow was under my control and thought even her to be an apparition, one that I just conjured up. She decided to swiftly slay my wife. For no good reason! She just got over banishing her own sister and yet she took out her rage on me and my beloved. It wasn’t fair.” Not knowing what to say, Screwball just comforted her dad, sharing his sadness. Discord, a slump of sadness, just muttered the word “Why?” over and over, hoping to get a response to a question that he would never receive an answer to. Finding her words, Screwball spoke. “But you said you had another daughter. What if we tracked her down and brought her home?” “That wouldn’t work. You and your sister are not immortal. The only reason you are so old is because of the stasis spell placed upon you when I went insane. But we could… no... “ His thoughts ran wild as a smile formed on his face. “We could go to the pits of tartarus and see her again! My beautiful wife.” With no time to spare, Discord snapped his fingers and the scenery changed, taking his daughter with him. Location: Elysium fields; Hades's palace. “But Hades! Please tell me where to find my wife. I need to see her one last time.” “I’m sorry Discord, but she has asked to be left alone. All I know is that she is somewhere in Elysium Fields. I’m sorry, that’s the best I can do,” Hades replied. Discord rushed out to the fields and searched frantically, casting out his magic which fizzled out. Unbeknownst to him, Screwball had been left inside the palace. Alone. Screwball had been left in the Palace alone and without her father. The rules of the underworld stated that any mortal left unattended would become swiftly ended. A guard walked up to her and bent down and opened his skeletal jaw. He was about to have a nice snack when Hades waved him away. “You are temporarily under my care young one.” Discord searched for what seemed like ages when he finally had a glimmer of hope. He saw an earth pony with the same characteristics as Crystal Meadow float lazily across the infinite fields. He saw too late that it was a trick. A cruel trick put into action by an unseen foe. He became restrained in midair, fingers pried apart as to not let him escape. All of the ghosts nearby formed a large circle, approximately one mile in diameter. In the center, trapped in chains was his wife, staring up at him with a terrified expression. Being a ghost, she could not speak, but for the message she conveyed, she did not need words. The fear in her eyes spoke clearly. “This is the day that you die.” Discord, unnerved by this yet enraptured by the presence of the mare he loved, stared her directly in the eyes. A tear dripped down his cheek as he knew… the grim reaper had gotten him once and for all. “Discord!” the skeletal figure boomed. “You have escaped my grasp too many times. You will not escape me again.” Dark energy began to spew from Discord’s body as he was drained of his magic and left to wither and die. When his magic was gone, The reaper stabbed him through the heart, causing a massive shock wave to ripple out, being heard from the palace. “DADDY!” > Prologue Part two > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Prologue part two. Screwball dashed outside of the Palace, bursting past the guards in pure adrenaline. She had kicked Hades in the face before sprinting out of the throne room. Knowing better, Hades did not enact his guards to chase her. He lowered his head and sighed. “May Zeus be with you.” Screwball rushed into the fields of Elysium before skidding to a halt, and quivering in fear. She couldn’t miss the enormous skeletal creature in the distance. But that isn’t what scared her. What chilled Screwball to the bone was the fact that her father was impaled upon the creature’s weapon. On the edges of her vision, she noticed black energy racing toward her, unimpeded by the Grim reaper’s attempts to stop it. After a second, five beams of chaos energy struck the filly as yet another ripple, this one even more massive shredded the air around her. Hundreds of tiny tears in the universe appeared. Each containing different scenes from alternate universes. In a particular tear, larger than the rest, A male human was walking down a hallway, unaware of what was about to happen. Earth. one hour ago: POV: Anthony Miles “Josh! Get me a double cheeseburger, a medium fry and three medium milkshakes, oreo.” I yelled into the microphone. A call from the kitchen tells me he heard my order. I face the customer and smile. “May I have a name for the order?” The customer smiled before saying, “My name is Mike Rotch.” I quickly write that on the bill before telling him that he may take a seat. “Next!” I shout. Another man steps up. “I’ll have the same as the person before me, minus the milkshakes please,” he said. “Alright, and that is a double Cheeseburger and a medium fries?” he nods. “Okay, may I take a name?” “Donaugh May Boyes,” he says, to which I raise my eyebrow but refrain from saying anything. Instead, I speak his order into the mic so that Josh in the back would get it. But it was at this moment that Josh ran up with the previous man’s order and announces to the entire building. “Order is ready for My Crotch! Mike Rotch! Your order is ready.” The man from earlier stalks up and takes his meal while the entire building is in laughter. I burst into laughter also as I realize what just happened. Mike Rotch? That is really funny! My co-worker laughs and slaps me across the face, eliciting a shout of surprise from me. I really shouldn’t have laughed though, but it wouldn’t matter anyway. After a good while, a voice shouts from the backroom of the building. “Miles! We’re out of burger buns! Grab some more from the storeroom please!” That was my manager, It was my job to make sure we had sufficient supplies at the change of each shift. I may have forgotten once or twice… I walked down the hallway toward the storeroom when something caused me to trip. I went down, my head slamming against a wooden box. My vision went dark. (Third person) Anthony’s unconscious form dropped through a tear in the ground whereupon he collapsed on the ground near Screwball. The ghosts had long since dispersed and had advanced upon the male. An outcry from Screwball caused a shockwave to ripple, negatively affecting the human, to which he immediately awoke, screaming in pain as the chaotic magic coursed through his veins, tearing his soul apart. The shockwave from Screwball also pushed the ghosts back, something that should not be possible under normal circumstances. Screwball saw what was happening to the human and began to channel the chaotic magic flowing through the him. Unknown to her, the chaos magic had enough time to fully encompass the human’s soul and essence. Drawing the magic back into her body, she brought his soul with her. She didn’t owe any favors to this person, nor did she know who he was. All she knew was that she would not let another being die if she could help it. So she did. Their souls fused. For a short time, the chaos energy stopped flowing into and out of her body, and began to orbit around her at a fairly slow speed. The inner turmoil tore both souls apart and stitched them together creating one single entity. The human personality rose to the driver’s seat while the memories of both parties took the back seat, becoming intertwined and contorted. Eventually, all came to a lull. With Screwball’s body gradually absorbing the ambient chaos magic that lingered. Nearby, The skeletal figure who still remained, watched in a mix of horror and awe. He saw that the transfusion of souls had finished and he disposed of the human corpse by tossing it over his shoulder without a care. He picked up the filly, careful not to touch her with his blade, and returned her to the Palace where he explained what happened to the lord of the dead. Soon, after some discussion, the two agreed what to do with the filly. They would lock away the memories of what happened in the time that the two were in the underworld together from the point Anthony had arrived; and would teleport the small filly into Equestria. > Chapter one > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 First-pony perspective I felt sick. My stomach hurt as if I had just eaten three quarter pounder burgers in a row without bothering to take a drink in between burgers. My eyes were shut as to help deal with the pain from my stomach. A noise from nearby caused me to perk up and even though I found that to be unusual, it felt like… it was natural. Carefully, I sat up, being unable to do so in the ways I was accustomed. “It sounded like it came from over here, girls!” a brash voice called out somewhere behind me. Moments later, a sound of bushes being moved followed by what seemed to be a collective gasp. “What’s a filly doing out here?” It was a minute before I could open my eyes. What I saw was NOT what I was expecting. The first thing I noticed was the strangely colored hair within my line of sight. Followed by the fact I could actually see the bridge of my nose without it appearing to be transparent in one eye. But the second thing I noticed was how large everything was. The trees looked gigantic. However, the third thing I noticed was moments later when something blue drifted into my line of sight. I turned my head toward the object and nearly fainted but managed to hold onto my consciousness. Before me stood- well, with one flying- four mares. Each with drastically different colors. A purple one with what appeared to be a horn, a light blue with rainbow colored hair as well as what appeared to be wings. Beside her, stood an orange pony wearing a hat and finally, a white one with a horn like the purple one did. The purple one stepped forward and made what sounded like she was clearing her throat, then she opened her mouth and spoke. “Hello?” she asked. “What are you doing out here? We heard a loud sound and rushed out to find out what it was,” she looked around before continuing. “Are you hurt little filly? Where are your parents?” I didn’t have to really think about it before I realized that she was speaking to me. What confused me was why she thought me to be a female baby pony. Looking straight at the newcomers, I began to speak. My voice was at a much higher pitch than I was used to. “Where am I and how did I get here?” Looking around, I didn’t have much to go by. If this wasn’t a dream, then I’d likely starve to death if I remained here. “You’re in the Everfree Forest. The most dangerous forest on this side of Canterlot. First off, we need to get you back to town,” the purple one said before blinking. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, and these are my friends, Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash,” she said, pointing out each one as she listed their names. Twilight then lit up her horn and I began to float off of the ground. I panicked and a wave of energy canceled out the spell. I took off sprinted similar to a bat out of hell, I bolted through the undergrowth, racing past what seemed to be all kinds of mythical creatures. After an intense sprint, the adrenaline wore off and I slowed down, unable to control my legs again after that adrenaline induced high. I laid up against a tree, my back resting against it. I looked down in horror. My entire body was covered with the pink fur. Next, I examined my limbs, each of which appeared to be resembling that of a horse’s hoof. Then the next thought occurred to me causing me to look down between my thighs. Sure enough, as I was dreading. I was a female and a pony. I mean sure, many men dream of what sex would be like from the receiving end, but to have actually been given the chance… I wasn’t sure anymore. Looking around, I noticed three pairs of glowing eyes. Instantly, an intense state of paralysis overtook my body and I froze. I hadn’t realized it until later, but they were cockatrices… I had just been stoned with no one nearby to help me. ------------------------- Beep… Beep… Beep… Dear god. Shut it -Beep…- off! Beep… Frustration coursed through my body as I imagined the beeping stopping. To my surprise, the beeping stopped. I opened my eyes to see the machine that was presumably making the noises, floating over me. It was encased in a black aura. “Daddy,” a sad, faint voice said in the back of my mind. Hearing it made me look around, unaware of the origin of the voice. “I think she’s awake Miss Sparkle,” a voice in the hall said, cutting off my inner monologue. “Just be careful. Cockatrice victims usually suffer from a state of paranoia after recovering from their gaze.” “I will,” said, who I presumed to be Twilight Sparkle. “I wish to show her that I meant no harm.” She walked into view and gasped again, having seen the floating machine in the middle of the room. She swallowed and walked forward. The soft clopping noises of hooves against linoleum could be heard. “Hello Screwball,” Twilight said, stepping forward with a bit of apprehension in her voice. I blinked. Unsure of what to do, I decided to remain quiet. Twilight spoke up once more, this time, abandoning her calm and sincere smile and replacing it with a cruel, accusing grimace. She walked to the side of the hospital bed. I began to worry for my safety as she analyzed me intently. “Would you kindly place the heartbeat monitor back on the ground?” she asked with a borderlined snarl. Starting to shake, I place it back down, not completely certain how I managed it. “Thank you. Now, where is Discord? He vanished before we could capture him,” “He… he’s dead,” I said, having no idea how I knew this information. This new information elicited a shocked ‘what?!’ from Twilight. “The reaper of death took him, took my Daddy away from me. HE WILL PAY!” the vow of vengeance took, even me by surprise. Gaining control of my mouth once more, I stood aghast, bewildered by what just happened. “I…” Twilight stood still, assessing the situation while trying to figure out how to approach the situation. Eventually, she addressed me directly. “Why are you here, spawn of Discord? Is it to throw our country into another eternal state of chaos again? I won’t fall for your tricks,” I had failed to notice that she had moved closer and rested her hooves on the side of the bed, gently shaking the bed from the force of her barely withheld rage. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” I shout, my voice cracking with confusion and concern for my own well being. “Admit it!” Twilight shouted back, “You’re either Discord himself, a construct of chaotic magic, or one of his twisted spawn,” she began to levitate me out of the bed. In the midst of my flailing I had managed to hit the “Nurse call” button. Which Twilight had failed to see. Moments later, a pair of nurses rushed into the room with wide eyes upon seeing the crazed Twilight float me off of the bed. Her mane was a complete mess, although I recall it being smooth and well kept when she entered the room. Twilight was about to say something else when one of the nurses used a spell to cancel out twilight’s magic, catching me in her aura before gently placing me down on the bed. Assured that I wasn’t hurt, the nurse turned to Twilight with a look of pure rage. Instead of yelling, she simply muttered in an ‘I’m going to kill you’ tone, “Twilight, please leave the hospital. You are hereby restricted from interacting with this patient. No less than a royal letter will get you into this room from this point onward. LEAVE,” Twilight rushed out of the room leaving me with the pair of nurses. The second nurse recovering from her shock. The nurse looked at her chart and addressed me. “Patient 411 this year. Earth pony Filly, name Screwball, born AC 998? Is this correct?” “No ma’am. My name is Anthony Miles. Human Male. Born 1998 AD,” I said to the mare almost automatically. The mare looked at me with a raised eyebrow. The mare who had just gotten over her shock spoke. “Nurse Redheart, this patient must be confused. Perhaps the cockatrice’s petrifying effects is still affecting her brain?” I piped in. “Nurse, why are you discussing diagnosis of a patient IN FRONT OF THAT PATIENT?” I emphasized dramatically. “Oh my,” the nurse said. “I believed Redheart had cast a silencing spell so we could communicate,” “Wait. Magic?” I asked, clearly confused to which the mares both nodded. “Magic, as in summoning fireballs, controlling the elements, alchemy?” “Well… Yes, but those are combative spells and alchemy is considered a form of dark magic,” said the one identified by her co-worker as ‘Nurse Redheart.’ “How do you cast these spells?” I asked. “By using the horn on one’s forehead. such as Nurse Redhearts…” the nurse stares with a degree of shock at her co-worker before blushing and retreating away, as if trying to retain her dignity. “I… I thought…” she trails off. “Anyway,” I continue. “How does one cast these spells? Am I able to?” Nurse Redheart smiled warmly before shaking her head ‘no’. “Why not?” “You are an Earth pony. You cannot cast magic in the traditional unicorn way. As an Earth pony, you have a deeper connection to the ground beneath your hooves. Using this, you can grow more abundant crops, run for longer and faster. Didn’t you learn this in school?” She asks me. Instead of responding, I merely shook my head from left to right. Nurse Redheart looked at me with a puzzled expression. She continued. “Well, that would make sense, now that I think about it… Strange for me to forget such an important detail… You have little to no evidence of being even born much less registered as a pony being. Your medical record is essentially empty. The only information we have was from a few years ago. It lists your parents as a ‘Crystal Meadow’ and a ‘Discorded Harmony.’” Thats weird, why do I feel like I remember them yet have no recollection of them? Must be this new body. I can only guess at a plausible explanation which would be that this body had previous memories but as myself not being the original body. Guilt overtook me as I realized the implications of what I had just thought of. There are two souls in this fragile body, in most fantasy novels that I’ve read that delve into multiple souls inhabiting the same body two outcomes are possible. The two souls would either merge to create a mixed personality, or the body would reject one of the souls. The latter option much more violent and can end up in the body becoming paralyzed. “Hey nurse?” I ask with tautness, “Have you ever treated any patients with multiple souls inhabiting their body?” “No, Why do you ask?” Nurse Redheart asks inquisitively. “I have reason to believe…” I let my voice trail off so she can understand the situation. She leaves the room immediately and comes back with a unicorn stallion. He lights up his horn and I feel a tingling sensation in my head. It feels disorienting. The doctor nods solemnly, switching off his spell. “Yes, The filly is correct. There is a foreign entity inside this foal’s soul. It has a parasitic nature. My best estimates show this filly has roughly ten weeks before the parasite destroys the soul of the host..” I’m shocked beyond belief. I’m a parasitic entity? Destroying this filly’s body? No, I couldn’t do that. “Doc?” I ask. He looked at me. “Should I assume I am speaking to the parasitic entity inside this filly’s soul?” I nod. “Then speak.” “I didn’t wish this upon this poor foal. Is there anything we can do to pull a compromise where no soul gets destroyed?” At my question, the stallion pauses and rubs his muzzle with his hoof. “I believe so, but the practice was put out of use a long time ago due to it being unreliable and possibly dangerous.” He said. “Let’s do it,” I said without hesitation. “I don’t care about the ramifications of this, I just don’t want to bear the guilt of killing this filly’s soul.” The doctor nods appreciatively. “Noble, but it is impossible. The last known machine was destroyed over two hundred years ago. This happened after the last case where the machine ripped the body apart and killed both inhabitants.” “Well then, what can we do?” I ask. “Well, there may be a spell that could do it, but it would require a second body, possibly a brain-dead patient. But if such a spell exists, the only two who would know it would be the princesses and maybe Twilight Sparkle. That purple unicorn you met earlier. Uh oh. I was not looking forward to this.