The Problem
The sun, belonging to that big white booty pony was high in the sky, said sky had not a single cloud to ruin the sunshine. Near a paved path through a park, there was a human dressed in a fine black tuxedo, who was sat down upon a wooden bench. That human was you, who had involuntarily came here by means of masturbating to a magical porno magazine of Rainbow Dash yesterday.
Speaking of Rainbow Dash, the super awesome pegasus pony Rainbow Dash herself was lying upon your lap. As the name implies, she had a rainbow mane and tail, her overall coat was a lovely shade of light blue, her well toned athletic body was quite a sight to behold. Her rump, while not as plump as most ponies it was still very beautiful in its own way.
Her beautiful rosey red eyes stared up at you, warmth and general affection was behind those eyes. She was both sexy and adorable. Sure, she was a little forward, but this world has no women. Plus no Internet, thus you don’t even have easy assess to porno. So, if you’re going to get some relief, you might as well bang a pony.
And quite a pony you shall cum inside, you are about to cum inside the pony, who is famous for humans cumming inside. This pony just might even have rainbow colored cum, that tastes like skittles.
"Say Anon, wanna go into that bush over there?" she said sexfully, wings extending outward as she winked her eyebrows sexfully at a nearby large bush off the path.
You nodded in answer, before you stood up and carried the pegasus over to the bush.
Now safely hidden, you proceeded to place her gently upon the ground. With her backside facing you, you wasted no time to kneel down onto your knees to see…
.
..
...
….
Nothing. Quite literally nothing, her backside was featureless. Sure, she still had those nice bubble buttcheeks, but other than that there was nothing. For she didn’t seem to have a vagina nor an asshole. Many questions flooded through your mind at the strange sight you are seeing before you.
"Uhhhh, can you knock off the censorship magic? For I can’t see your assets," you inquired, standing back up and scratching the back of your neck.
"Censorship magic? What are you talking about?" she said in a most bewildered tone, staring back at you with wide eyes.
"What you are using to hide away your vagina and asshole."
Rainbow Dash turned to face you, eyeing you with a puzzled look.
"What’s a vagina and an asshole? Are those some sort of human thing?"
"Yes and this raises other questions like--
"Oh come on Anon!" she bellowed impatiently, with her hooves raised high in exasperation. "I want my love cuddles already!"
"Love cuddles? What are--
Rainbow Dash sighed, pressing a hoof to her face. "When a stallion and a mare love each other very much they cuddle and kiss really hard for usually about ten minutes, at which point their love matrix magic activates and the mare becomes pregnant."
"But if she doesn’t have a vagina, how does she--
"The baby naturally teleports out of her onto her tummy. Jeez Anon, this is basic stuff."
"When you eat your food, how do you--
Rainbow Dash sighed once again, slapping her forehead with a hoof.
"Below our stomach is a small magical wormhole, when our body waste goes through it, it sends it below the earth to fertilize it. How can you not know these things Anon? It’s only basic pony anatomy."
A most worried expression came upon your face.
"You’re innocent. You don’t actually know what sex is," came your voice, low and sad.
"What? Of course I know what sex is. I have you know I’ve cuddled and kissed many ponies from around Equestria. Heck, I even cuddled and kissed Celestia and Luna a few times," she shouted angrily.
"That’s not sex. That’s just cuddling and kissing!" you shouted.
"What are you talking about. Kissing and cuddling is sex. Do I have to explain again how ponies make love?"
"You probably don’t know what a penis is even," you said in a low voice.
"Yeah, what is a penis?" she asked, tilting her head to the side curiously.
You sighed sadly. "I can’t do this. I don’t want to ruin your innocence."
"Anon! I’m over twenty four years old and I have cuddled and kissed quite literally hundreds of ponies. I am far from innocent."
"But that’s just it! You never had sex."
Rainbow Dash stomped her hooves."Kissing and cuddling is sex!"
"No! It isn’t! Sex is when a man sticks his penis into a woman’s vagina and cums inside it."
"Cums inside? What’s cum? Can you cum inside me with your penis?"
"But how can we--
"I still have a mouth Anon. Come on, show me this penis you speak of," she said sexfully, looking at you with bedroom eyes.
"I’m not sure if I sh--
"Come on, I want to see your penis," she said softly, looking at you with pleading doggy eyes.
"I’m sorry Rainbow Dash, but I can’t do this," you said in a sad voice, before turning around and proceeding to walk away.
Maybe in another universe, you would be willing to do this, but in this one you could not bear to do it. For it felt… wrong.
You suddenly felt a strong iron grip around your legs, you looked down to see Rainbow Dash with her hooves wrapped tightly around them.
"Please Anon... can we at least just cuddle and kiss?" she said in a low, broken voice, her eyes becoming moist.
"Okay, but only cuddles and kisses. No blowjobs."
"Blowjobs? What are those?"
"Maybe… one day I’ll let you suck my penis. But if you do, you must promise me to be very gentle. It’s quite delicate, so no biting or anything, just sucking and licking."
"Anon, I would never bite you in the first place. You are my friend, so I won’t ever hurt you. But yes, I will only suck and lick your penis when you stop being such a prude pussy someday and show it to me," she said, staring at you with her eyes narrowed angrily.
The End