Glimmers of the Past
Less than a week had passed since the most adorable of all alicorns had almost doomed the entirety of a small empire. Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, thought of all the possibilities brought forth by the event while doing some quick morning shopping. The ponies of Ponyville had gotten used to their newest princess and had stopped trying to give her everything for nothing. The purple alicorn had spent the first three weeks of her royalty trying to both convince the residents to treat her like any other pony in addition to finding inventive ways to pay the shop owners their dues when they refused them. Being princess did have some perks, they were much less likely to try and extort her or her friends as they had previously tried on Fluttershy. Still, being able to complete a shopping run without having to constantly remind everyone that they did not have to bow in her presence was a boon. Going to Manehatten had been a pleasant surprise, as everyone was far too busy to pay mind to even their newest princess.
A light chuckle escaped Twilight as she wondered if they would be so callous if Celestia herself was walking among them. The Princess of the Sun certainly was a presence no pony could ignore. Twilight had tagged along on several innocent enough shopping trips when the Princess merely wanted an ice cream after a long day with her subjects and students. One would have thought Canterlot would be used to Celestia by now but more often than not a ten minute excursion swelled into well over an hour as numerous ponies demanded just a little slice of Celestia's time. She gave it willingly and with a smile, something Twilight admired and tried to emulate with mixed results. Maybe the next time she was in the capital Twilight could ask her old mentor for a quick tip or two.
The earth was soft under her hooves as she continued to walk between the stalls. Her saddlebags were just about full, though she did need some more parchment. The volume of notes she was taking lately had increased dramatically. Not wanting any repeat performances the Princess of Friendship was reading up on every magical relic in Equestria and beyond, compiling a list of their function, location and history. Just in case one of them ended up being destroyed. No one had expected a baby alicorn, and no one had expected that the Crystal Heart would be shattered. That was about to change and she, Twilight Sparkle would be ready for everything.
“Hi Twilight!”
Twilight cried out in surprise as the pink bundle of fun that was her friend Pinkie Pie appeared in her vision, right in front of her. How one so energetic could manage to always sneak up on her was a puzzle that Twilight would never solve. Readjusting her saddlebags on her back with a simple spell she turned to face the cheerful mare, who was waiting patiently with a wide-eyed smile.
“Hey Pinkie,” Twilight said cheerfully. “How are you today?”
“I'm good,” came the upbeat reply. “I was just out walking when I noticed that you were doing some shopping and decided to come say hello. So here I am saying hello.”
Twilight chuckled a little. “I see. Well I was actually just about done. Do you want to finish up with me? We can go to the castle afterwards. Spike is helping Starlight make her own map of the castle. I am curious to see how far they have gotten.”
“Sounds fun!” Pinkie nodded, immediately falling into step beside Twilight. “Where to next?”
Twilight merely pointed to the parchment store and the two friends made their way to the eagerly awaiting salespony. The alicorn mare was almost definitely his top customer.
Laden with now very full saddlebags, Twilight made her way back towards the Castle of Friendship. The towering crystalline structure was completely unmissable amongst the small quaint wooden homes of Ponyville. Rarity was in love with it, and while Twilight certainly appreciated all the work her five friends had done on the interior it was still a castle far too big for the number of occupants. Even with the addition of her new student, Starlight Glimmer, the feeling of emptiness had barely been alleviated. At least she had five other friends to help fill out the castle most days, but they had their own lives to be getting on with. Suppressing a heavy sigh as the warmth of Celestia's sun gave away to the cool shade of the castle, Twilight held the huge doors open for Pinkie Pie. Once the bubbly pink pony was inside Twilight let the doors close with a heavy thump.
“Now, I'm pretty sure Spike and Starlight will be finished mapping this place before long. So they should be around for lunch if you want to join us?”
“Of course!” Pinkie nodded, “I was just thinking about popping over and seeing what you were doing for lunch. Now I don't even have to! Brilliant right?”
“Right,” Twilight agreed.
The two mares made their way to the kitchen. While both Twilight and Spike had become fair cooks over the years, comparing them to Pinkie Pie was like comparing a candle to a bonfire. The party pony was always a treat to have around for lunch. Especially since the visit usually stocked the castle larder for weeks if she got into an experimental mood.
Meanwhile, Starlight and Spike were back in the unicorn mare's room. The map was complete and now Starlight was looking for a place to keep it. In her dresser seemed like a rather odd place to keep a map, though sticking it up on the wall did not seem right either. Spike was lost in his own thoughts, about a fact that had never even occurred to him until now. Starlight's room was completely bare, with none of her own personal flare to it at all. She had not even moved any furniture around. Spike decided to bring it up, sounding somewhat troubled.
“Starlight, why haven't you changed your room around at all?” he asked, gesturing around the expanse with a claw.
Starlight blinked at the question, looking around her room. It was true that she had no personal items lying around the room, like one would find in Spike's room. She assumed Twilight's room was in a similar state as Spike's though probably with books instead of comics. The room was fine the way it was. Thinking over her words, she decided to relay this to Spike,
“I guess I just never considered it” the mare admitted with a small shrug of her shoulders.
Laying the map down on the bedside table for the time being, she continued.
“I just don't have anything to add to it, and I admit that for the first few days I just slept in the first room I was able to find.”
“Really?” Spike asked, a little incredulously. “Well, good thing you have this map now.”
Starlight smiled brightly, “Yep, thanks for helping me with this Spike.”
“No problem,” the dragon grinned, “That's what I'm here for. Number one assistant.”
“Of course,” the mare giggled, watching as pride practically radiated from the young drake.
It was a nice sight, seeing someone so proud in themselves and so sure that this was where he wanted to be. No matter how much praise he received in the Crystal Empire, Spike had stayed with his friends, through good or bad. Starlight reflected on her own life for a moment, all she had really been doing until now was running from her problems. Hiding behind her own ideals while refusing to see that the wrong was not with the world, but inside herself. One day she would be able to shake those regrets away and live her life in the way she was meant to. Twilight had said she could do great things for Equestria if only she would try, though there was definitely a long way to go.
Spike kept silent when he saw Starlight turn in on herself. The mare was wont to get lost in her own thoughts, just as Twilight could get lost in a book. She was also prone to panicking. Spike had often wondered if Twilight had noticed a little something of herself in Starlight during their battle in the past. He would have to talk to Twilight about his observations that Starlight may not be settling in as well as he could hope. If she truly was comfortable with her room exactly as it was then he would accept that. However, he wanted to be certain; he trusted Starlight but wanted to make absolutely sure there was nothing to set her spiralling once more. That was why he was always happy to stay with her, no matter what. She was his friend and he would not let her be alone again. Just as he would stay with Twilight through her own trials and tribulations. The group of two had become a group of three all depending on each other, though for differing reasons. Spike needed purpose, Twilight needed reassurance and Starlight needed stability.
The dragon gently reached up and touched Starlight on the shoulder with his claw. His stomach was starting to rumble, telling him that he should get started on lunch. Blinking back into reality the unicorn flashed him a sheepish smile.
“Sorry, got a little distracted,” she chuckled.
“No problem,” Spike replied “I was just gonna go see about lunch? Wanna come?”
“Sure,” Starlight said with a smile, a challenging glint coming to her sapphire eyes.
“Let's see if I can lead the way.”
Spike rolled his eyes slightly before shooting a wide smirk towards her. If she really wanted to try this then he would humour her. Though he did have one little condition,
“Okay, but you aren't allowed to use the map.” he challenged, raising a claw for her to shake.
Taking in the outstretched purple claw for a moment, Starlight looked back at the map for a moment before gently placing her hoof into Spike's offered hand.
“Deal.”
A rather flustered looking Starlight walked through the doors to the kitchen, followed by a smiling Spike. The entire round trip had taken over half an hour. Starlight had refused any of Spike's assistance even when it was clear she had no idea where she was going. Stubbornly she had marched on, only really able to find her way after accidentally stumbling on the throne room. Twilight turned when she heard the doors open,
“How'd it go?” she asked, giving the unicorn a wry smile.
“Could have went better,” Starlight answered lightly, turning to Spike and giving him a wink. “But I do have a map now, so it should only be a matter of time before I know my way around.”
“Excellent,” Twilight grinned, extending a wing to where Pinkie Pie was furiously working away at a counter. “We were just finishing with lunch.”
“I'll go set the table,” Spike said immediately, already laden with cutlery and plates.
He walked out of the double doors and towards the adjoining dining room. Twilight walked out with him, leaving Starlight with Pinkie Pie. The mare was still working away, leaving Starlight unsure of what to do. Taking a deep breath she slowly inched her way towards the earth pony. She had barely gotten three steps when a pink hoof stretched out and grabbed her around the shoulders. A quiet gasp of surprise was all that could escape her before she was being pressed tightly against the warmth of the excitable mare. Gently Starlight raised her own hoof and pushed away from Pinkie, asking nervously.
“Umm... do you need any help?”
The reply came quick and fast with Pinkie not missing a beat while she talked,
“Help? Well no not really. But if you want to help then I certainly won't stop you! Because baking with friends is definitely the best kind of baking.”
Without waiting for a response, Pinkie shoved a bowl of batter under Starlight's nose.
“Stir that for exactly thirty seconds then add one cup of milk and stir for another thirty seconds then put it into the oven for forty minutes,” Pinkie rambled, already mixing some icing with practised whisk movements.
“O-Okay,” Starlight stammered, taking the bowl.
Of all of Twilight's...no, her friends, Pinkie Pie was definitely the one Starlight found most difficult to keep up with. Starlight often found herself overwhelmed by the mare's antics. How one could be so energetic was beyond her understanding. Using her magic Starlight grabbed a whisk from the counter, picking the cleanest one she could find. Even then Pinkie's methods had left it flecked with remains of a previous cake mixture. Peeling the food from the metal, the unicorn gathered the batter into a small globule and gingerly placed it into a nearby waste bin. While she had gotten used to the creative messes Pinkie Pie often brought with her, confetti or otherwise, that did not mean she had to add to them. With a now cleaned whisk she started to carry out Pinkie's instructions.
“So, exactly how many are you planning to feed here?” Starlight asked, turning to Pinkie Pie when the ceramic bowl was in the oven.
“Oh I think its just you, Twilight, Spike and me,” Pinkie replied, quickly putting the three bowls she had somehow been simultaneously whisking into the oven.
“Oh,” Starlight responded.
Glowing light of an aquamarine hue filled the room as Starlight grabbed every available dish cloth in the room and set them against the table. Only a few moments later the crystalline counter was sparkling. Any used plates and pots were taken to the nearby sink where in a flurry of soapy bubbles they were made to sparkle just as vibrantly as the counter. Satisfied, Starlight turned to Pinkie, who was looking at her with an open mouthed expression.
“Wow! Hey you should totally come to the Cakes whenever I get into a baking mood. It would make cleaning up so much easier!” Pinkie grinned, moving so quickly it was as if she teleported into Starlight's face.
Startled, Starlight back-pedalled a few steps, stumbling and landing on her haunches just as Twilight and Spike walked back through the doors. Quickly, Starlight picked herself up off the ground, fixing a smile on her face. Thankfully Pinkie Pie did not seem offended and instead was busy staring at an egg timer she had set up. Forty minutes was an awful long time to wait, unless one had already whipped up a batch previously. Twilight already had the now cool pastries in her magic and was leading the others out into the dining hall. Not wanting to miss out on the fun, Pinkie turned and bounced beside them.
During lunch Twilight could not focus on her food. During their time setting the table Spike had voiced his concerns about Starlight's room. While it seemed so trivial Twilight could not help but share in Spike's troubles. Twilight wanted her new student to feel as comfortable as possible in her new home. Picking at her food, Twilight tried to puzzle out a solution to the problem. Though as Spike had also brought up, it might not be a problem. They could both be worrying about nothing. Deciding to get to the heart of the dilemma directly, Twilight focused her gaze on Starlight. The pale unicorn was quietly eating, her ears pricked in Pinkie Pie's direction as the bubbly earth pony rambled about all the flavours of pastry she could make.
“Starlight,” Twilight started, still not sure how to approach this question.
“Yes?” Starlight replied, her head tilted in confusion as she fixed Twilight with a quizzical look.
Thinking back on all of her previous friendship lessons, Twilight continued. “Spike and I are a little concerned... Are you feeling okay?” she asked, holding back her urge to smother the mare with questions and go into a full blown freak out. That would not help here.
Starlight's confusion only grew. She switched her gaze to Spike, raising an eyebrow. The young dragon just shrugged, smiling nervously. This was most likely about the concern Spike had raised about her room. While she still did not understand just why it was such a big deal, she felt touched that they were so worried. Now she just had to allay those worries. Changing focus back to Twilight, Starlight nodded,
“I'm fine,” she answered. “Honestly... I am,” she tried, hoping she was convincing.
Twilight sighed. “I'm sorry Starlight, I'm just worried. I'm new to this whole teaching thing... I wasn't even comfortable in this castle when I started and I still never even considered that you might be feeling the same...”
The young alicorn looked down into her plate, a heavy air filling the room. Even Pinkie Pie had fallen silent as Starlight racked her brains for something that would allay Twilight's fears. She could not truthfully say that she had not felt uncomfortable within the cavernous walls of the castle but she had attributed most of that to her frustration at not being able to navigate the halls. Was there something she was missing? She did not think so, though could she be wrong? Starlight moved a little closer to Twilight, moving her head to try and meet the alicorn's downcast gaze.
“I'm fine,” she repeated, smiling softly. “Everything you've done for me is more than enough. You don't need to worry.”
“I...I know I shouldn't,” Twilight murmured, averting her eyes slightly. “But now I just can't stop myself.”
Pinkie Pie interrupted the two, pushing her face in between them. The party pony had a knowing smile on her face, excitement sparkling in her eyes. Both Starlight and Twilight raised their heads to look at her. Retreating back into her seat Pinkie devoured the remainder of her pastry.
“Last time Twilight was feeling uncomfortable in the castle we all tried to decorate it but all we did was end up with a mess. It was super fun but it wasn't until we realised what was really important that we worked together to make Twilight feel at home. Point being, it was the memories that made Twilight feel more comfortable. Have you made any memories here?”
A soft chuckle escaped Starlight as she thought back on her short time in the castle. Already it had been some of the happiest times of her life. True happiness, not her old twisted views on what happiness should feel like. There was a warmth in her that had been absent since her childhood. Even the super powered alicorn baby and the almost freezing to death could only really be described as eventful. She would not trade the memories of the past few days for anything in the world.
“That would be an understatement,” she replied.
“See,” Pinkie continued, waving her hoof to try and emphasise her points. “Everything is okie dokie lokie.”
Twilight could not feel convinced. While there was truth to Pinkie Pie's words all she felt within herself was another failure. Her ears folded back as she sunk a little lower in her chair. Luckily Starlight had her own solution. It would hopefully help Twilight, and maybe help Starlight herself be sure that everything really was as it seemed. She nudged Twilight with a hoof, this time forcing the mare to look up.
“How about we see what we can do about my room...together. Truth be told I really have no idea where to start.”
Spike immediately came to Twilight's other side, trying to aid Starlight in reassuring the down Princess.
“Yeah, and we can even let Starlight try to guide us back again... if you have half an hour to spare.”
Said unicorn mare narrowed her eyes at Spike briefly before saying,
“That is if you want to anyway. I-It was just a suggestion.”
Twilight looked up, her eyes watering slightly. Sitting up straighter she allowed the corners of her mouth to twitch into a smile.
“Thank you all... I'm sorry for that...again. You're right. No reason to worry, and I would love to help you Starlight, if that is what you want.”
“Wouldn't have suggested it if it wasn't,” Starlight said firmly.
“C'mon then!” Pinkie Pie yelled. “I wanna see how many bathrooms Starlight ends up taking us to!”
Once again Starlight shot a slightly dirty look at the jibe but made no further comment. Determined to shove their jokes back in their faces she marched forwards. Everyone followed behind her, with Spike staying a little closer to Twilight. She smiled down at him briefly, sometimes just his presence was enough for her and sometimes she needed his words. No matter what she needed, the young dragon was always willing to give it. Something Twilight would never stop being grateful for.
As it happened Starlight managed to steer clear of any bathrooms, though broom closets were another story. The castle had several of them. Between Twilight and Starlight no one had been hurt by the falling debris, though the latter was getting increasingly frustrated the more clear it was she had gotten lost...again. Twilight took the lead after the third avalanche of cleaning supplies, causing the rest of the trip to pass without incident.
“You'll get it,” Twilight assured her pupil, stepping aside to allow Starlight to open her own door.
“I hope so,” Starlight replied, pulling open the door and walking inside.
True to Spike's words it was just as it had been the night Twilight had gotten her settled in the castle. Nothing was even slightly out of place, almost unnervingly so. Twilight tried to swallow down the urge to jump to any more conclusions. Pinkie Pie was already bouncing up and down on the bed, ruffling the perfectly set bedclothes. Spike narrowed his eyes, folding his arms and tapping his chin with a claw. His eyes roamed the room, trying to find a place to start.
“Like I said,” Starlight sighed as she moved deeper into the room, “I'm not all that sure where we could start. I...well...as you all know in the village everything was kept equal. It wasn't comfortable or practical...I see that now. Then after that I was a wanderer, not staying in one place long enough to call it home... I...I guess, maybe I am still thinking like that.”
“You don't have to,” Twilight cut in gently, moving closer and pressing her flank against Starlight's.
“You can do what you want here,” the princess continued. “This is your home, and it will be for as long as you wish.”
“Wait! I know what's wrong!” Pinkie Pie yelped, suddenly leaping off of Starlight's bed.
The unicorn reactively set the bedclothes back to their previous condition, turning to Pinkie Pie, who was now grinning ear from ear.
“Uh, what... are you talking about?” Starlight asked, looking around to see that the others shared in her confusion.
“Oh, not much,” Pinkie said dismissively. “You all just have fun, I'll be back later!”
Without waiting for a response, Pinkie Pie was out of the room leaving a gust of wind in her wake. Starlight gave her head a shake, trying to fix her displaced mane. She cast a look at Twilight, and then at Spike both of whom gave her a shrug in response. She groaned inwardly. Pinkie Pie had an idea, this day was going to get even more interesting. Once more focusing on the task at hand, Starlight grabbed her bed in her magic. Lifting the heavy furniture as easily as she would lift a spoon, Starlight hovered the bed over to the other side of the room. With the bed on the other side of the room, that left a large empty space.
“Just keep moving things around until we find something?” Starlight suggested, grabbing the large vanity mirror next.
Twilight nodded and followed suit, carefully taking the bedside cabinet in her own levitation spell and placing it down next to the bed. Having two of the most powerful magic users in Equestria working together on the task would cut out a lot of the hassle. Spike could help little during this process, instead content to simply settle down in the doorway until he was needed. There were of course things a young dragon could not do. Here it was best to just let the two mares work their magic.
Over two hours passed, with the two mares working together to turn the room into a jigsaw puzzle. Everything was in a different place from where it had originated. Each piece of furniture had been moved at least seven times, with the smaller objects having been placed in almost every conceivable nook and cranny. Both Twilight and Starlight were starting to tire in their efforts. Every combination had been satisfactory to Starlight, but they had decided to keep trying. Twilight wanted to find something perfect.
Starlight settled into a sitting position on a rug that Spike had dragged in from another room. It was a deep purple colour, very soft and larger than the one that had previously adorned the floor. This allowed both ponies to rest without feeling cramped.
“Well, it's different,” Starlight offered, giving Twilight a weary smile.
“Yeah, any you really liked?” Twilight asked, panting slightly.
Starlight narrowed her eyes in concentration, cupping her temple with a hoof. Did any of the orientations really stand out to her? None of them really felt any better or worse than the other. As long as everything was in a proper place she was content. Her thoughts turned back to her life before Sunburst left...even then her needs had been simple. As long as Sunburst was around she had been happy. Removing her hoof from the side of her head she looked to Twilight.
“No, sorry... Everything just seems fine...I'm sorry. I know you and Spike are worried but I just am the way I am.”
Her expression morphed into a small smile.
“It was fun though. And you did give me some tips to try out. More efficient ways to levitate multiple heavy objects at once and how to control just how much magic I was putting into each spell so I don't tire myself so easily.”
Twilight smiled back, “Those were just little tips Princess Celestia gave me. I had a habit of trying to put too much effort into one spell. I could barely get through the day of school until she stepped in to help me. Then things became easier and I was able to use my magic more effectively.”
The alicorn laughed as she remembered a younger her, struggling with spells that now she could do in her sleep. Magically she had come on leaps and bounds and even in the short time she had been opened to friendship there had been improvement. Though there was still a long way to go, she felt excited to learn more. Both friendship and magic were long roads with much to accomplish and now she would be doing so with a student. It was an interesting feeling, to be a teacher. One day she would get used to the idea but today she was just with her student, laughing about the past.
“Any luck?” Spike asked from the doorway. He had left a few minutes ago to grab some drinks and was now laden with three glasses of apple juice, complete with ice to keep them chilled.
Taking a glass from the platter with her magic, Starlight brought it to her lips and sipped. The refreshing liquid cooled her throat, washing away the feelings of exertion. The Apple family definitely made the best apple juice; if everything was to be believed their cider was even better.
“Thanks Spike. No luck yet, but we're still working on it.”
Twilight had taken her own swig of the refreshments before pitching in,
“It has been an experience nonetheless.”
The dragon chortled. He had been listening in on the two all the way through their magical talk. He had never heard Twilight talk so enthusiastically as when it was about magic with someone who could understand her. Those ponies were definitely few and far between. Having one around would be good for her, unless she managed to talk Starlight's ears off.
“Any news on where Pinkie Pie ran off to?” he queried, looking around for the mare. Clearly she had not shown up during his brief excursion to the kitchen.
“No,” Twilight shrugged. “And I'm guessing then that you did not bump into her. She'll be back, and if I know Pinkie Pie she'll have something to share with us all.”
“I'm back!” a sing song voice yelled, echoing down the long hallways all the way from the entrance.
Starlight turned to Twilight, her eyes wide.
“Okay...that is never going to stop getting unnerving.”
Pinkie Pie had been busy. Slung across her back was a small saddlebag, full of an assortment of goods that had taken a lot of effort to track down. She bounced through the halls, guessing that everyone would still be in Starlight's room. If they were not then she would find them. As it turned out the two ponies and dragon were indeed still where she had left them. They turned to her in unison, though their expressions told her that they had heard her coming in. A wide grin on her face Pinkie settled the sack down onto the ground, though did not reveal its contents just yet.
“Wow, you have all been busy!” she exclaimed, looking around the room. It looked all so different, though was still missing something. Something that only she seemed to have noticed. Hopefully the items in her bag would help.
Pulling them out one by one, the party pony laid out each of the objects on the rug in front of everyone. A thin pale blue blanket, faded with age; what looked like a small metal figurine with a vague resemblance to a pony; a small jar of seashells; two lengths of dark turquoise ribbon; a small stack of what appeared to be birthday cards and finally a small book, bound with violet covers. Twilight was confused by the display, as was Spike. Walking forward, he examined the odd assortment of objects.
“This is what you have been doing?” he asked, fixing her with a confused stare.
“Yup!” the pink coated pony replied happily. “It took a little longer than I expected but I found as much as I could.”
Spike was about to reply when Twilight's worried whisper cut him off.
“Starlight?”
He turned to see that Twilight had her hoof around the unicorn's shoulders. Starlight looked awful. She was just staring at everything Pinkie had brought with her. It was as if she had been struck multiple times in the gut and now all she could do was stare in horror. Spike looked back at the assortment and then back at the distressed mare. Her reaction did not make any sense until a realisation struck him. The weight of just what Pinkie Pie had done fell upon the room. The lengths of ribbon were crumpled slightly, as if they had been used to tie something. During the brief visit into Starlight's past during her attempts to stop the rainboom she had been wearing her mane up. Tied in ribbons of that exact colour. The only place Pinkie Pie could have found them, and presumably everything else, would be Starlight's old home.
Twilight had come to the same conclusions as Spike had, her eyes wide. Pinkie visibly deflated at Starlight's reaction. This was not how she had expected this to go. Maybe this had been a bad idea.
“I'm sorry,” she whispered gently, slowly and gingerly making her way towards Starlight. Twilight was now cradling her friend against her chest, not sure what else to do.
“I...I was just hoping to give you some old memories to add to your room...as well as all the new memories. I didn't mean to upset you,” Pinkie said sincerely, moving beside Twilight and wrapping her hoof around Starlight's.
She just wanted to show a bit of companionship. She just wanted her friend to be okay again. Spike did the same, his claw coming to rest on Starlight's shoulder. The three just stayed around Starlight, not moving or saying anything. Tears were now in her deep blue eyes, causing them to burn. Shutting them tight, she let the tears fall freely. Streams of hot salty emotion created tracks in her soft lilac fur. Seeing all her old things had brought the past rushing back to her. For years she had tried to hide it away. It had been a motivation for her, a reason for her to spread her message across Equestria. Her meeting with Sunburst had been a mixture of nervousness, fear and finally elation. However, this was something different.
This was a reminder of a time when she had been an innocent filly...when all that was important to her was making the most out of each day. This was a time before her regrets, before she had moulded herself into a selfish mare who had almost doomed all of Equestria. Before all of her failings she had just been Starlight, best friend to Sunburst. It was a time that she herself had ruined when she allowed bitterness to rule her heart and send her down her dark path. Everything that had happened since then had been her fault.
A weak gulp escaped her as she tried to calm her tears enough to be able to speak. A painful lump had formed in her throat, making the whole process much harder than it could have been. She swallowed again, before a choked whisper was able to come from her.
“Its okay Pinkie...I just, got a little overwhelmed...”
Starlight was really trying to reassure Pinkie that it was not her fault, that she had nothing to be sorry for. That was all ruined when the tears started flowing again. Searching for something, anything to hold she wrapped her hooves around Twilight and buried her face into the purple alicorn's chest. Her whole body shook from the great racking sobs that spilled out. Twilight made no complaint even as the hug tightened and tightened, she just lowered her head and nuzzled the back of Starlight's head. Pinkie and Spike closed in as well, gently pressing their caring warmth against their friend. With the circle now complete the three just let Starlight cry it all out. She would talk to them when she was ready. They did not need to know anything now.
Finally, when she could cry no more Starlight raised her head. She was stiff and drained from her emotional overflow. Her hooves trembled as she sat up, away from the support of Twilight's frame. Spike and Pinkie stepped back to give her the space to move. No one spoke, simply letting Starlight get herself comfortable. The silence was only broken when Twilight could not hold in her concern any longer.
“Any better?” she asked softly.
“A...A little,” Starlight murmured. She looked at them all in turn, hiding behind her ruffled mane as best she could. “I'm sorry... you're all trying to help me and here I am getting all emotional.”
“Aww it's okay,” Pinkie assured her. “We all get a little emotional sometimes. I should have thought that maybe your old things could have been a little much.”
“It-it was a lovely idea,” Starlight whispered, casting a glance behind her at where all her memories lay on the floor. “It, just made me realise how far things have come... how it was my fault that all those memories were left behind...”
“Starlight,” Spike sighed heavily. “You know you've been forgiven for that... Bad things just happen sometimes. You had your reasons. You're a much better pony now...”
“Am I?” she asked, her gaze fixing on the space between her hooves.
“Yes,” Twilight interjected firmly. “You are... You've realised your mistakes and you learned from them... We're always learning. No one is ever able to learn everything. And no one is ever able to go through life without mistakes. Some mistakes are bigger than others. I once plunged this whole town into chaos because of I was scared of missing a deadline.”
Twilight paused for a moment, taking in Starlight's incredulous look. She nodded to cornfirm that everything she said was true before continuing.
“Everything was all fixed, but for weeks I could never really forgive myself. Every time a friendship lesson was sent to Princess Celestia I thought back on that day and felt ashamed. Eventually I realised that I could not keep feeling that way. It was eating me up inside. So I looked back on my mistake and made a promise that I would never react so badly again. There have been slip ups, but nothing anywhere near so drastic.”
Twilight moved forward and cupped Starlight's cheek with a hoof. She lifted the mare's head up and smiled.
“What happened is in the past. You have to move on, nothing can come of dwelling on it.”
“I know,” Starlight whispered, “Sorry.”
“That's okay,” Spike put in. “We're all here for you. That's not gonna change, no matter what.”
Starlight felt herself smile, heat flushing to her cheeks. Raising a hoof to dry her eyes, she turned to her old possessions once again. She edged her way towards them. Using her hooves she picked them up one by one.
“It was all I was able to find,” Pinkie said softly.
“I didn't have much,” Starlight responded, before a twinge of confusion spread across her features. She looked up at Pinkie Pie and asked.
“How exactly were you able to find all this? This was...years ago.”
“A very good friend in the Canterlot Records. I throw a huge party for him every year on his birthday. He helped me find where Sunburst lived before arriving at Celestia's school. All I had to do after that was get there. Dashie helped me with that. No one had moved in after you left, so it was really easy after that.”
“No one moved in?” Starlight breathed, unable to believe that her old home had been untouched after she had run away to start her own town.
“No, seems not,” Pinkie Pie shrugged. “Is...Is that bad?”
“W-what? No, not really. I'm just surprised.”
“I can look into it if you wish?” Twilight asked, with Spike nodding beside her.
“N-not now... I'm not sure I want to know...” Starlight muttered.
“Well you can always change your mind.”
“Thanks.”
Starlight looked down to the small metal pony figurine. The substance was cool in her hooves, the rough uneven finish glinting lightly. A weak chuckle escaped Starlight. Pinkie could not hold her curiosity any longer.
“So, what exactly is all that stuff? Where did you get it?”
“Pinkie. That is not a question to be asking...” Twilight scolded, narrowing her eyes at the bubbly mare.
“It's okay,” Starlight nodded, holding up the metal figure she was holding.
“There's not all that much to tell...This was my first attempt at transformation magic. It was supposed to be a pony turning into a dog but all I managed to do was distort the pony. Sunburst and I made a lot of these trying to practise.”
With a slight laugh she moved on, forcing her voice to stay steady. The lump in her throat was receding but her throat was still tight. She wanted to share these, wanted to spend a few moments reliving the past. Though her emotions threatened to take that from her. Swallowing to steady herself, she continued,
“This jar of sea shells contains everything Sunburst and I were able to collect during our times at the beach together. Those were always fun times, though we both ended up with sand everywhere. Then this is the ribbon I used to tie my mane with... When I grew and my mane grew with me I stopped using them. The blanket was my first possession, and I could never sleep without it. The first few nights away from my home were painful, and I only slept when not even my unease could keep me awake. Eventually I became less dependent on it, and then I put it into the back of my mind. These birthday cards are all the ones Sunburst ever made for me. He was always good at the finer details, and he always knew just what to say to make me smile.”
She placed the birthday cards back down on the rug and turned to all of them. The lump in her throat was back with a vengeance. The end of her speech had been halting and barely above a whisper. Why did her body rebel at a time where she felt she needed to speak. She felt rather than saw Twilight move over to her. A gentle wing draped across her back. It was only then that she realised that both she and the alicorn were a mess. Starlight's face was streaked and her mane out of place. Twilight's coat was wet with Starlight's tears, and her wings slightly ruffled thanks to the crushing embrace she had inflicted on her teacher. Evidently Twilight had noticed as well.
“Let's go wash up... It'll make you feel better and then you can decide what you want to do with all this... In your own time. You can keep it here or I can put it away until you're ready. No rush.”
“What's this?” Spike asked, pointing to the small book. It was the only thing Starlight had not brought up.
A weak, wry smile formed on the mare's lips. “That's my diary...and something I would like to keep private if you don't mind.”
“Got it!” Spike nodded.
Satisfied with the answer, he backed away. Twilight kept her wing around Starlight as she guided her pupil out of the room. Pinkie and Spike just stayed put. Spike picked up the glass of cider he had abandoned and took a sip while Pinkie pulled a cupcake out of her mane. The two mulled over the last half an hour, occasionally offering their thoughts aloud. Not long passed before the two were engaged in conversation about the next party Pinkie was needed to plan. They were both worried for Starlight, but hopefully everything would be on the mend now. Or at the very least, on the way to being on the mend.
Twilight and Starlight walked in silence. The alicorn kept her wing draped across the unicorn's shoulders as they walked side by side. The nearest bathroom was only one hallway down. Twilight opened the door and started the water running. When the water had warmed she soaked two soft, clean facecloths and then wrung them out. Passing one to Starlight she quickly got to work cleaning herself. Starlight did the same, wiping her face with the warm fabric. Once done she grabbed a towel and dried herself. Being clean made her feel a lot better, just as Twilight had said it would.
Starlight was still drying her face when she felt a light tug on her mane. She removed the towel from her face to see Twilight gently running a brush through her hair. The slow, gentle movements felt soothing, and the brush lightly rubbing against her scalp relaxed her. All too soon Twilight removed the brush and placed it back in the bathroom.
“Better?” she asked, as Starlight moved to her feet.
“Yes, thank you.”
“No problem. Cadance used to do that to me all the time when I would get upset about my studies.” Twilight smiled brightly. “I thought it would help.”
“It did,” Starlight nodded, returning the smile.
The pair returned to the others cleaner, and a little brighter than they had been when they left. Once in the room Starlight immediately cast her gaze down to all her memories. She was still unsure about what she wanted to do with them. Her attention turned to Spike when she heard him speak.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Better, thanks,” the unicorn responded.
Pinkie nudged Starlight's half finished apple juice towards her. The ice was almost melted, but it would still be cold and taste nice. The unicorn took the glass in her magic and thanked Pinkie before drinking a sip of the liquid. Twilight sat down beside Starlight and small talk erupted around the room. The atmosphere was happy, with bursts of light laughter. Pinkie talked of her latest misadventures in the Cake's kitchen and of babysitting Pound and Pumpkin Cake. Twilight had a few tales about her own transformation spell mishaps, most of them involving citrus fruits. Spike talked about his latest comics and how the shop owner had almost thrown a fit because his claws were “damaging the paper.” Starlight shared a few more of her past adventures, though spoke much less than the others. No one pressed or commented on her silence and the conversation grew.
They talked until their stomachs called to them too loudly to ignore. They stood up in unison and made their way to the door. Starlight paused and looked back at her past possessions. She knew what she wanted to do with them now. Spike paused when he realised Starlight was no longer following them. He turned to see her gently nudging the jar of shells with her hoof.
“I'll be there soon... I, I know what I want to do...but I want to do it alone...” she murmured.
Spike just nodded and closed the doors behind him. Twilight turned to her assistant in concern but Spike gave her a nod. Twilight looked back at the now closed doors and called,
“Join us when you're ready!”
Not needing a response she continued leading the way towards the kitchen.
Starlight let her magic envelope the objects and started to place them. Maybe she would change their position one day and maybe she would not. Where exactly they were was not important, they were with her now. She would never again forget who she had been, and would help it shape who she would be. A weight she did not even know she carried lifted from her shoulders as she placed the diary, the last of her memories, into her bedside cabinet. Now she felt she could move on and even if she stumbled, there were good friends around her to keep her right.
Feeling much lighter Starlight walked out of her room. Though not before grabbing the map she and Spike had worked on...together. It was the only possession in her room which did not have a connection with Sunburst. However, it would probably not remain that way for long.
Happy faces greeted her as she walked into the dining hall. Everyone had shown up for dinner, filling the room with their mirth. There was an empty spot between Twilight and Spike. Upon seeing her Spike patted the empty seat. Clearly it had been saved for her. Sitting down between the other two residents of the castle she integrated herself into the warm atmosphere. Twilight passed her a plate of food with a smile. Happy and content, Starlight dug in. She was grateful for this, all of this. It felt right...it felt like home.