Cryonics, or long-term freezing of one's body, was a mistake. Now I've got to contend with a post-human Earth, where the dominant species seems to be mutant horses that call themselves ponies. But there's got to be a bright side to everything...
LABELED CANCELLED DUE TO ONGOING GROUND-UP REWRITE
After a long-term human preservation test--called cryonics--goes horribly wrong, a twenty-year-old man finds himself stuck many, many years into the future with no hope of returning to his own time.
And this future involves uncannily intelligent, brightly colored, talking magic horses that call themselves ponies.
Now he has to figure out how to adjust to a world where, among other things, the laws of physics seem completely wrong, many animals speak and are intelligent, the leader of the country is an absolute monarch, and society seems...off in some ways.
This won't be easy.
//
Set about twenty-five years before the return of Nightmare Moon.
"So, are you sure you're ready, Mr. Walker?" the masked doctor asked again as I climbed into the coffin-like box.
"Yeah, sure, I guess so," I replied, eyeing the gray room around me. I mentally noted how the walls themselves were hard to see; there were computers lining every wall, computers that held information on literally almost everything. This would be important for after the hibernation was over.
"Are you sure? No other personal items you may need?" he said, gesturing to the floor around, where some possessions of mine lay in various cases.
"No, we've been through this already!" I snapped impatiently.
The doctor sighed. "Okay, I'm just checking. We can't have you unprepared for when you wake up."
I sighed in return as I laid my head back into the box. "Sorry. I'm just kind of stressed and tired," I said, thinking about the past few weeks and all of the things I went through: learning about this, preparing and getting conditioned for this, stressing out about this. "This won't hurt, right?"
"No, we've already tested this out many times. The worst that happens is you don't wake up, but we have worked that problem out through tests."
"Right, I thought so," I replied. "I'm supposed to wake up in a thousand years. Am I right?"
"Exactly." He peered into my eyes slightly anxiously. "Are you sure you want to go through with this, Mr. Walker? The chances that everyone you now know will be dead when you awaken are almost certain."
"First of all, call me Patrick," I replied, frowning, "and second, I thought I was chosen partially because I didn't have any ties to anyone, not even family."
"You were, Mr....uh, Patrick. I was just checking."
I sighed and stared up at the dull gray ceiling. "Well then, I guess this is good-bye. I'm as ready as I will ever be."
"All right then, just relax and close your eyes..." the doctor told me calmly. "I'm going to be closing the lid now. Just letting you know."
I shut my eyes and spoke my last words for a very long time. "Okay. Do it."
Through my eyelids, I could sense the change in the light as the lid of the box closed and I was encased in darkness. I kept my body relaxed and my eyes and mouth shut, and I didn't react when I heard hissing by my ears.
And then my memories just...stopped. I was frozen in time. There was nothing I could process. I was dead without being dead.
Beforehand, I'd expected it to be pretty much like sleeping, but it wasn't. I knew that I'd be going many, many years without being conscious. I just expected it to be a really long nap.
But when I woke, I felt like I'd literally just fallen asleep. Possibly because every single bodily function of mine had essentially been put on pause. It was like I fell asleep and then woke up again immediately. As in, less than one second of sleep.
And when I did awaken, I woke to a hiss coming from above me as the box depressurized and opened.
I blinked once.
Twice.
Thrice.
I twitched my fingers.
My toes.
I was awake. And it was later. Much later. I could tell that much.
I felt the same as I always had, besides a dull haze in my brain that usually happened after I awakened. I breathed normally. I could see the same drab gray ceiling that I'd seen seemingly seconds ago before falling asleep. The doctor who'd put me under, unsurprisingly, was nowhere in sight.
But I could hear voices. That was good.
"What the hay is in that...box thing?"
"Why'd you even open it?"
"And what's all this stuff around the room?"
"That's what you're wondering? Why is there even a room like this in a bucking crystal mine?"
My mind wasn't working quite right yet and I didn't register the confusion in their voices, which should have told me something was amiss. But I sat up straight and started speaking to the people of tomorrow. "Greetings!" I said, looking around, seeing only a few bright lights at about waist level as my eyes adjusted. "Do people still say 'greetings'?" I continued, squinting. "I haven't been awake for a really long time."
There was silence for a minute. Someone coughed. "I...what are you?" the same person said nervously in a deep, scratchy voice.
I frowned and crossed my arms. "What am I? Are you crazy? I'm a huma...hu..." I started stammering as my eyes finally adjusted and I was able to see past the lights.
The lights were on headlamps, which were on heads. But the heads looked...slightly wrong. The faces seemed to stick out slightly more...and those eyes looked too big...
"Um...could you show yourselves with your lights, please?" I asked quietly, trying to stay calm.
There was a pause, and then the lights turned and pointed at the people who were holding them.
Except they didn't look like people. Not even close.
In the darkness were five furry, weirdly colored heads with huge eyes and vaguely equine features. Faces that seemed intelligent, but also all wrong. Even slightly creepy in this poor lighting.
This was wrong; I was supposed to meet people from the thirty-first century, not...these creatures...whatever they were...oh.
Almost every time I do, I feel slightly disoriented and I always feel like I didn't get a good night’s sleep, doubly so if I dreamed overnight--dreams of mine, while sparse, are rarely pleasant. So bright mornings may well be considered my mortal enemy.
So imagine that. Except multiplied by a thousand or so. I had no idea where I was. I knew I didn't sleep well; my dreams were blurry flurries of turmoil, and yet I couldn't remember a single detail about them. And the very first thing I saw when I woke was brightness.
So when I finally cracked my eyes open, I hissed and buried my face in the pillow it had been resting on. Tilting my head slightly so I could breathe, I sighed angrily and tried to go back to sleep.
Unfortunately, the events I just described were, collectively, a massive “fuck you” to sleep and I, and despite my attempts, I remained awake. So I threw my pillow across the room and, bleary-eyed, sat up.
My eyes slowly adjusted to the brightness, and I slowly scanned the room. It was not very large, about the same size as a patient’s room in a hospital. I was even lying in a bed that could have come out of a hospital. Straight ahead of me was a plain white door and to my right was another plain white door. Right by my bed was a plain white nightstand with a plain white lamp. Literally everything was just a dull, plain white.
I pushed myself up, looking at my feet, which were hanging off the end of the bed. As I swung my feet sideways, preparing to get up, I spotted a small sheet of paper that had been written on. So I picked it up and attempted to read, assuming the note was for me.
“What is this?” I muttered quietly to myself, looking the paper over. I looked at it from all different angles, held it up to the lights...and I couldn't read it. The characters were even wrong, and they didn't even look like Asian characters--as in, Indian or Korean or Japanese or Chinese or anything like that. They did look a little like the Latin characters that English and many other languages used...but only partially. Some were combined with others and there was a whole slew that I didn't recognize at all.
It looked like over the years, there had been a new alphabet made or something, but I remembered hearing modern English…
Oh, no.
My mind clicked, as I finally remembered some recent events and recalled some images of small, mutant horses standing in half-light. Small mutant horses that talked, and from the sound and look of it, were probably miners. At least a few of them.
Shit.
I stood up out of bed quickly, swaying slightly, and strode briskly to the door to my right. I twisted the doorknob, the door swung open, and I was greeted with the sight of a nondescript white bathroom. I didn't pay much attention to it because that was not what I was looking for--specifically, it lacked a window or another door.
I need to leave.
I stepped to the main door opposite my bed and tried to twist the handle. It refused to move, and I jiggled it for a minute before giving up. Now furious and distressed, I stomped to my bed, flopping down on it.
Okay, Patrick, I thought to myself, calming my breathing. Relax. Evaluate the situation. You were brought here, and judging by these conditions, they know you're intelligent…
I shook my head, realizing what I had just thought, and flicked myself in the head with a finger. Come on. There's no way those could have been intelligent horses there. Some human trainers must have been giving them signals. Maybe they were bred in a laboratory.
Sighing deeply, I laid my head back and relaxed against the mattress, my feet still hanging over the far edge. There was really nothing I could do. I saw no cameras, and even if there were cameras somewhere, it would make no sense to announce to them, "Hey, I'm awake, let me out!" Plus, I was awake, and someone would have--and should have--noticed that I was.
May as well get comfortable.
I crossed my legs, put my hands behind my head, and zoned out completely. Something I'd repeatedly gotten in trouble for doing as a child helped me wait at that moment. Take that, Mrs. Turner! I thought, making an exaggerated fist-pump.
While I was reminiscing about my fourth grade, then my family, and quickly switching to something more enjoyable like Nirvana, the wall to my left turned completely transparent. I, being unobservant, didn't even notice that had happened, nor that there were people standing behind it.
I didn't even notice at first when they said something.
“Hello?...Hello?...Uh, sir...can you understand us?”
I snapped out of my daydream just in time to hear those words. “Oh! Huh…” I muttered, jerking slightly, but falling into my relaxed position, staring up at the ceiling. “Yes, I understand you...did you call me sir?”
“Yes, sir,” the feminine voice replied. “May I as--”
“Yeah, no,” I interrupted, shifting myself, but continuing to look at the ceiling. “Don't call me sir. My name is Patrick Stanford Walker. Call me that, Patrick, Stanford, Patrick Stanford, P.S., Pat, or even Walker, but don't call me sir.”
“All right...Patrick…” the voice said slowly. “I'm Full Life, and this is my colleague Firefall Strider."
Weird names, I thought blankly. But then again, this is the future, and they must have changed things since the two thousands...
"Did you understand our note?"
"Note?" I muttered, glancing toward it briefly. "Uh, no. I can't read that. I'm sorry."
"It's fine," the voice said. "We weren't sure if we should be expecting you to know what it said. So, uh, returning to my original question, if it doesn't offend you, may I ask what you are? And why were you in that...box...in the mine?”
The first question was the one that stuck with me, for obvious reasons. Wait. What...? I thought blankly.
“I'm...a human...” I said slowly. “Our scientific name is Homo sapiens sapiens. And if you don't know that…”
After saying that, I slowly turned my head to the left. Standing there on the other side of the transparent wall was a duo of mutated freaks of nature. Pastel-colored, huge-eyed, small horse things.
We spent about a minute staring at one another. But it could as easily have been an hour. Or a day. I don't know.
“Are...you okay?” one of them--a teal horse with a black wizard hat for some reason--said in a masculine voice.
“If you don't know what humans are…” I said slowly, trying to process this, “then you're not being controlled.”
The other one, a dark green one dressed like a doctor and with a horn--what?--drew back slightly and raised an eyebrow. “Controlled? What do you mean?” it said, curiously sounding female--the same voice that had come from Full Life.
I snorted and began to chuckle. “There are so many things wrong with this I don't even know where to begin. There's so much wrong with this, it's got to be a dream. Of course! It's got to be a dream! That's the only thing that makes sense!”
The teal wizard horse thing widened his eyes and his pupils shrank. “Wait...you can't mean…”
Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the headboard of my bed, and I nodded to myself slightly before turning around, leaning against it, and raising my head slightly. “I'm not playing this stupid game!” I yelled before pitching my head forward.
“No! No! Wait!” Out of my peripheral vision I saw an orange flash of light half a second before I slammed my head into the headboard--which was a mistake.
A horrible, throbbing pain. Nothing else in my thoughts. Just pain. Suffice it to say, it was pretty uncomfortable.
“Ow! Oh my god! Oh my god! Jesus, that fucking hurt!” I cried, keeling backward onto the bed and holding my head as if it would roll off of my shoulders if I didn't. “Why in the ever-living hell did I do that?”
“Well, you're the one who slammed his head into the headboard, so you tell me,” someone quipped. I cracked my eye open to see the teal wizard horse thing--he must have been Firefall Strider--standing over me. Somehow, he seemed to be trying to look concerned, but slightly failing, as he was also looking slightly amused at the situation.
In retrospect, I can't blame him for his reaction.
“Nonetheless,” I growled, glaring up at him, “there's still a shit-ton of things wrong here I don't even know where to begin.”
“Like what?”
“Like that!” I yelled, pushing myself up and pointing at Firefall, but falling back as my head throbbed painfully. “Ow, goddamnit--you can talk!”
“What's wrong with being able to talk?” asked the other one--the one who was probably Full Life--from towards the doorway.
“Everything. Horses didn't use to fucking talk,” I hissed, rubbing my head. “Ow, damn it...I will explain later, maybe. Can I have my things? You know, in my bags?"
"Maybe later," said Firefall. "We've got a lot of things to discuss."
"Yes, but Firefall, let's not pressure him too much, all right?" said Full Life as she entered the room and neared the bed. "He may have a concussion."
I snorted and rolled my eyes. “What are you, a doctor?”
“Yes, actually!” Full Life said, frowning indignantly.
“So...so wait,” I mumbled, eye starting to twitch, “so there's wizard horses and doctor horses and miner horses and some of them have horns and crap...you know, this is exactly why I thought I was dreaming, because this is impossible.” I painfully moved my head to the relative bliss that was my pillow. “Guess that stupid cryonics thing had side effects, or maybe the conditioning, or concussion, because I still think I'm hallucinating.”
“I doubt that,” Full Life said, “because when I examined you when you were unconscious, you seemed fine...mostly, by chimp standards anyway, and even by pony standards, too. Besides, you seem healthy now, even if you...decided to hit your head like that.”
“Good to know,” I said absently, not caring about how I was compared to chimpanzees and ponies. But seriously, I thought, what the hell is going on?
I squinted and looked around more carefully, still holding my head, which kept throbbing, but was slightly less painful. It was good to have a solid reference to what exactly was happening, I mentally reasoned.
So this is what I objectively observed.
There were two horse-like things in the room with me: the teal wizard one--Firefall Strider by my bed, who had orange eyes and a royal blue mane under his hat; and the dark green doctor looking one--Full Life--who had a yellowish mane, light blue eyes, and a small horn. Full Life's horn was glowing light blue and a clipboard and a pen were floating in front of her, surrounded by the same shade of blue.
Wait, what?
I shakily raised a hand and pointed at Full Life, who was still levitating the clipboard and pen with the blue aura. “How are you doing that?”
It looked up. “What?” Full Life asked, sounding puzzled.
“T-that! Your clipboard and pen are just floating there in front of you! What kind of technology is that?”
The horses--ponies--looked at each other, their expressions unreadable. Eventually, Firefall turned back to me and said in a dumbfounded voice, "Um...it's magic."
"Ha," I deadpanned. "No, seriously, what is it?"
"It's magic," he repeated.
I frowned and folded my arms. "It wasn't funny the first time and it isn't funny now. What is it?"
"It's magic!" the two burst out simultaneously, visibly frustrated.
"..."
Patrick’s Brain
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“...But magic doesn't exist…” I whispered weakly.
"Uh...yes, it does," Firefall said slowly.
"No, it doesn't."
"Yes, it does," repeated Firefall testily.
"No, it doesn't," I repeated. "Prove it!"
Firefall rolled his eyes. "Well, Full Life here is holding the clipboard and pen with magic, and I teleported in here earlier when you tried to damage your brain, but if you insist..."
A look of slight concentration appeared on his face as a small ball of fire--about the size of a marble--appeared in front of his muzzle. Full Life quickly poked him hard in the side and it went out. "Not in here!" she admonished.
A sheepish look appeared on Firefall's face. "Sorry," he apologized, then turned to me. "But you saw that, didn't you?"
"Y-yeah, but...there has to be some kind of scientific reasoning behind it," I said weakly. "I don't know how the he--the heck you were able to do that, but it must have something to do with your biology..."
"Well, of course!" Firefall said, rolling his eyes without even trying to hide it. "Of course magic is connected to our biology! It's connected to everything! We just don't know what exactly it is or why us unicorns can channel it."
Fuck this. I didn't sign up for this.
"Firefall here has shown you it exists," sighed Full Life, sounding frustrated. "Why didn't you believe it exists?"
"Because we--humans--had tons of evidence to suggest it didn't." I looked between the three ponies. "I don't know what the fu--what happened when I was unconscious, but I'm guessing there was some kind of mutation that happened and it stuck because it was evolutionarily beneficial. Since this...magic...looks like it's related to biology, I'm calling it scientific and I refuse to call it magic."
"Call it what you will, but it's still magic. Ask any unicorn," said Firefall, before frowning. "Now, we've answered some of your questions. Why exactly were you in that box in that mine? Was it some sort of ritual?"
"The box...oh, right. It's complicated," I said, rubbing my head. "It wasn't a ritual, but look, wouldn't it be better if I just went to your leader or something? I mean, since such a discovery has been made, wouldn't whoever-it-is be interested, especially since we share a common language and it looks like we're on similar levels of intelligence? Besides, you didn't seem to know what I was, which suggests humans aren't known around...here."
They frowned. "Give us a second," Firefall muttered, and then the two of them backed away, turned around, and started whispering to one another. I couldn't hear them, so I leaned back against the headboard, being careful about my head.
After a few minutes, they turned back. "Okay, Patrick," said Full Life, "we've decided we should bring you to Princess Celestia--"
"Who's that?" I interrupted stupidly.
"--the leader of our country, Equestria," finished Full Life, frowning slightly, "provided, of course, you don't have a concussion. Fortunately, though, it will be easy to find out if you do or don't."
"'Magic', right?" I said, rolling my eyes.
"Right. Just give me a moment; this shouldn't hurt."
Her horn glowed pale blue and I felt something touch my forehead fleetingly. It wasn't much; it felt like the softest, lightest breeze I'd ever experienced.
But something was wrong.
Full Life frowned, looking confused. She turned up the intensity of her glow and I felt nothing.
"What the...? I'm not getting anything? I should know if you've got a concussion or not, but it's not telling me anything!"
Firefall stared at me. Experimentally, he tried to move my hand with magic--I could feel it for the briefest moment--but he couldn't. "What the hay? This is impossible!" He stared up, cross-eyed, at his horn, as if that was the source of his trouble. "I should at least be able to get a grip on you...but...are you immune to magic...? But that's impossible too..." He backed up, turning slightly, muttering quietly to himself.
Full Life started looking through the pockets of her coat, eventually producing something that looked like one of those thermometers that goes under the tongue. "Okay, Patrick, I'm going to see how much magic you have, just as a test," she said. "Open your mouth."
I automatically complied, and she stuck the thermometer-like thing under my tongue for a few seconds before taking it out again and looking at a small number on it. "Three thaums," she muttered.
"Three hundred?" Firefall said.
"No. Three. Three total."
"Three total hundred?"
"No. Just three."
"But that makes no--"
"God, give it a rest already!" I burst out, wincing as my head throbbed again. "I've got almost no magic, we get it! In fact, I'm surprised I've got any at all! Now, weren't we supposed to go to this Princess Celery--"
"Princess Celestia!" corrected Full Life.
"Potato, po-tah-to," I huffed. "Look, I assume you ponies haven't got all day, and I bet your princess has even less time. We should see her as soon as possible so we can maximize our time together so we can figure things out and have a smaller chance of having to separate before we've got everything squared away. So..."
"You've still got a concussion--maybe," said Full Life, "and if you've got one, the princess can wait. She has time every day; if you have a concussion, you stay 'til tomorrow; if not, we can go now."
"Okay, so I might have a concussion." I crossed my legs under the small blanket. "How do you tell if someone has a concussion when magic isn't an option?"
Full Life frowned. "Okay, let's see..." A small point of light emerged on the tip of her horn and she started waving her horn back and forth. "Follow the light with your eyes."
I squinted for a second, but tracked the light with my eyes without much of a problem. "You're lucky. You seem fine. Just don't do that again," Full Life said, suddenly becoming stern on the last sentence.
"Yes, ma'am," I said, rolling my eyes. "What now?"
"That depends...are you ready to see Princess Celestia yet?" Firefall asked me. "It's evening right now, so if you want to wait until tomorrow morning..."
"Fuck it, let's do it now." I swung my legs over the side of the bed as I started to feel a familiar pressure down below. "Er, I mean...can I use the bathroom real quick?"
They nodded, so I stood up and made my way over to the bathroom, locking the door behind me and getting a good look at the bathroom--an actual good look--for the first time.
There was no toilet; just a hole in the floor with water, a drain, and what looked like a pedal right next to it.
When put under pressure, people are different to how they typically are. That much is obvious.
I wasn't directly put under pressure, but an active imagination and certain memories can put me under pressure.
Like they had promised, Firefall Strider and Full Life had gone to bring me to Princess Celestia. I'd followed them through a very large, very white, and very ornate building for a while before they left me by a large door with two white-coated, golden-armored, spear-holding pegasus guards who were about half as tall as me.
Did I mention that pegasi existed too? I wouldn't be surprised if dragons did as well, at this point...
So there was nothing for me to do at the moment. I just paced back and forth, barefoot, and wearing the same simple gray clothes I'd been wearing when I first stepped into the cryochamber. The guards stood perfectly still, staring straight at me, ready to block me from going in the room if I tried.
It occurred to me that this Princess Celestia probably had total executive power and the final say on what happened to me--whether I would live or die, and if the latter, how I would die. This didn't do anything for my nerves. So I did what I usually do. I talked. And since there was no one else to talk to, I talked to the guards.
"So what do you have to do to be one of those guards?" I asked them suddenly, turning towards them mid-pace.
They stared at me but they did not answer. They probably weren't allowed to, but I wasn't going to let that stop me.
"Do you have to have a white coat or something?" I continued, leaning against the wall opposite them. "Or does that fancy magic I keep hearing about change your coat color? Either way, I think it's stupid. If you already have to have a white coat, that's either discriminatory against hors--er, ponies that don't have white coats, or annoying to those of you who have to dye your non-white coats white. I'm pretty sure that's hard to do."
The guards didn't even blink. They must have had incredible discipline.
"And if it's the latter," I rambled on, "that would make infiltration incredibly easy. I mean, does a pony just have to put on a suit of armor and he looks like one of you? How do you--" I pointed to the guard on the left-- "know that your partner is still your pal Joe who you meet at the tavern? It could be some random Bob, Richard, or Marley! This setup is extremely flawed!"
As before, neither guard moved. But I was undeterred, and I kept going.
"Okay, now let's move on to the armor itself," I said, idly scratching my back. "Is that real gold? Because that's stupid on so many levels. Not only is gold shiny, it's also heavy, soft, and an excellent conductor of electricity. So if you go into battle, not only will your enemy be able to see you easily, they'll be able to win easily because you'll be slow, their weapons will pierce your armor, and if they have any electric attack, you're toast. Although I'm not sure at what level warfare is these days, but even if we go back to the dark ages, you're done for. I just hope no one has any nukes."
The guards still didn't move. Holy shit, these guys are good...
"Even if that's not real gold, it's still shiny," I told them. "I sure hope you don't have any enemies. Or if you do, I hope you've got some kind of god with you. Because those wings? I bet they break so easily! You break a wing, you've lost an advantage--although, how can you even get off the ground with that size--oh yeah, magic..."
Goddamn magic, I thought to myself. Predictably, the guards kept remaining still. I stopped leaning against the wall and frowned at them.
"You know, you've got really good discipline," I said. "Hell, I'd say it's even better than those British sold--"
Without warning, the heavy door was encased in an orange aura and it swung open easily. Out stepped Firefall Strider and Full Life. The latter nodded as she passed me and left, and the former said quietly, "Well, you're up," before following his companion.
I blinked, stood there for a moment, and almost didn't react when a powerful female voice called out, "Patrick Stanford Walker, you may enter!"
Twisting my fingers nervously, I stepped into the room. When I was completely inside, the guards shut the doors behind me. I squinted across the room, taking in the sight.
The room had a high ceiling, like the hallway outside, but it wasn't very large in square footage--maybe about twice the size of the room I had woken up in. There were tall windows on each side, letting in a great deal of sunlight, and in the center of the room was a white, fancy table. A deep red throw pillow on the side closer to me sat vacant, while a pony sat on the one on the other side.
A pony that was unlike any other I had seen so far, and I knew this one had to be Princess Celestia. If the regalia, the multicolored, possibly gaseous mane and tail, and the fact that she was taller than any other pony--probably around as tall as me--wasn't an indication, then it was the aura I could somehow feel. I could tell that this pony was a commanding presence, a powerful one, a slightly unnerving one, yet at the same time, motherly and caring.
It put me on a slight edge, but I moved forward stiffly until I was directly in front of the pillow, table, and princess. I had no idea what to do at that point, so I looked awkwardly into the princess's large magenta eyes.
"You are Patrick Stanford Walker, the human, Homeo sapiens sapiens, correct?" asked the princess, breaking the silence quickly.
I nodded. "I am, but just call me Patrick or something similar. And you're Princess Celestia?" I asked in return. "Ruler of Equestria?"
She nodded once. "I am. Please, sit down."
"Uh..." I muttered, looking at the table and the pillow as a thought occurred to me. "Uh, don't I need to bow or something?"
"There is no need for that; you are not one of my subjects," Celestia told me before cracking a small smile. "Besides, this does not need to be overly formal. Please sit down."
Not wanting to accidentally piss off this pony, I sat down, cross-legged on the large and comfortable pillow.
"What would you like to drink, Patrick?" asked Celestia kindly.
"Like to drink?" I repeated, confused.
"Yes; it might ease your tension to have a drink together as we talk," Celestia said. "What would you like? Tea? Coffee? Milk? All I ask is that we not have anything alcoholic so we can stay mentally fit."
"Uh, just coffee will do," I said.
"Cream and sugar?"
"No thanks, just black."
"Certainly." Celestia's horn glowed bright gold and a coffeepot and a pair of mugs appeared in a golden flash of light. As her horn kept glowing, the coffeepot rose into the air in a gold aura and filled each mug with coffee.
"Thanks," I muttered, taking my coffee and sipping at it carefully. To my slight surprise, it tasted almost exactly the same as I'd known it to taste before getting into the cryochamber. It wasn't Starbucks or anything, but it tasted okay.
"So," Celestia said calmly, sipping her coffee, "Firefall Strider and Full Life told me you're immune to magic."
"Yeah, three...thaums, was it?" I muttered. "What's the big deal about that?"
Celestia set her mug down and looked me directly in the eye. "Patrick, this is a very big deal. There is not a single thing that ponies know of that has less magic than you. Rocks have more magic than you. And there is hardly anything that doesn't respond to magic."
"Is magic ambient?" I asked suddenly. "All around us?"
"Yes..."
"So because I'm exposed to this ambient magic, wouldn't some magic seep into me?" I asked. "Magic didn't use to exist as far as I know. I'm surprised I have any magic. Didn't just a little magic seep into me between the time you ponies found me and when Full Life measured my magic levels?"
Celestia blinked. "That...is a possibility," she admitted, taking another drink. "We've never encountered anything quite like you."
"So I've heard," I said dryly, smirking. "They had no idea what I was. To be fair, I barely knew what you ponies were."
"Do you have any idea why humans and ponies never met before?"
"Sure! I bet it's because humans died out and ponies evolved to get this magic and intelligence!" I guessed, drumming my fingers on the table. "Assuming enough time has passed...it was only supposed to be a thousand, but it should be at least a few million..."
Celestia's expression was that of blank confusion. "Died...out? Millions...of years? I'm afraid I don't understand. Humans died out, yet you're still alive? And what's this about...millions of years passing?"
"Oh..." I sipped my coffee. "Probably if another species evolved to be intelligent, humans had to be gone. So humans must be dead...oh. Yeah. Great."
The princess's look of confusion persisted, and she said nothing, silently prompting me to continue.
"I'm guessing humans died out and you...ponies became the dominant species after. That means I'm the last one!" I said, spreading my arms, honestly not too surprised at my lack of feelings towards it. "Whoop-de-doo for me. I admit I half-expected this."
"...I still don't understand, Patrick. Does it have anything to do with that box you were found in?"
"Oh! The cryochamber. Yes, it does." I rubbed my head, feeling a slight headache starting to come on. "It's a bit of a long story, Princess."
"We have plenty of time," Celestia said, sipping her coffee.
"Okay..." I stared at the ceiling for a moment before continuing. "Right, so this started a while ago when I was eighteen. So some people in my military approached me and offered to compensate me for an experiment or something. They weren't specific until I agreed to do it, and I probably wouldn't have done it if I wasn't so pressed on cash."
I paused and sipped my coffee. "So then when I agreed, they made me come to this lab before telling me what this whole experiment was about. It was about cryonics. And I was the test subject. I was starting to have second thoughts about it even before I agreed, but there was no backing out now."
"Why wouldn't they tell you until you agreed?"
"'Cause it was top secret. Can't have the public know that their country's military is doing this kind of experimentation, can they? 'Specially since this is the same government that spies on its citizens." I chuckled humorlessly. "So then they spent the next couple years conditioning me and doing some short practice runs while not letting me leave their complex. Then they sealed me away for what was supposed to be a thousand years, and here we are."
"'Supposed to be'? Do you not know?"
"You expect me to be sure about how much time has passed when I can't even get to the goddamn cryochamber?" I asked seriously, leaning forward. "It's hard to tell, what with you lot all being ponies of all things; plus, I don't even know what outside looks like. I might as well have landed in some alternate dimension. But if you want to know, take me to the cryochamber and I'll tell you. It has a clock attached."
I sighed, leaned back, and rested the back of my head on my hands, looking up at the ceiling again. "Anything else you'd like to know, Princess?"
"Yes, there is," the princess replied coolly. "Please tell me about humans."
I lifted my head up and cocked an eyebrow. "Tell you about humans? I'm pretty sure that would be near useless considering I'm probably the last one alive."
Celestia coughed slightly. "Yes, that may be true, but some may still exist. And even if not, it would help to get an idea of how you are, how your culture may have influenced you, and perhaps explain other things, such as how they've gone or why you have no magic."
My head throbbed again, showing telltale signs of a headache, but I answered anyway. "Okay. But I'm pretty sure magic wasn't around in my time and that it must have sprung up while I was in cryostasis somehow, and I haven't any idea as to how humans are gone; there were over seven billion of us and counting when I went into cryostasis."
Celestia stared for a moment. "Seven...billion?"
"Mmhm. Hey, have you got any ibuprofen?"
Met with Celestia's blank stare, I shrugged. "Never mind. So, about humans..."
Migraines suck. They suck hard. Of course the simple headache I'd had was bound to develop into this after trying to discuss humanity with a pony princess. And I thought I'd never hate poker faces as much as I did now--Celestia's had been perfect throughout the seemingly hours-long conversation and I had no idea what she was thinking.
She probably had a good idea of what I was thinking, though.
At the end of the discussion, I had resorted to leaning heavily on the table, massaging my forehead, trying in vain to alleviate the pain of my headache--and without any goddamn ibuprofen.
"Well, okay." I smiled weakly. "You now know about my species. Are you going to kill me to protect your citizens or something? Because I'm ready whenever."
"Kill you? Patrick, are you okay?" Celestia asked, leaning in.
"Sure, let's go with that. Don't worry, I get it."
Out of the corner of my eye I saw her frown. "Patrick, even if you had described humans to be the absolute worst thing in the history of anything ever, I would not have murdered you. But we will get back to that in a moment: you're holding your head as if it were burning. Do you have a headache?"
I sighed and set my head on the table. "Look, it's not important. Besides, the water here helps a bit." I gestured at the glass of ice water, which had replaced the coffee some time into my explanation.
"Yes, it is. Is there anything I could do?"
"Not unless you have ibuprofen or aspirin or something similar," I told her, looking up. "If you've got magic to get rid of it, it won't work. I have no magic, remember?"
Celestia reddened slightly. "Oh, right; I apologize. Are you sure there isn't anything that can be done?"
"Sure. I'll be fine." I cracked my knuckles. "So that other thing...why wouldn't you have killed me?"
"It's simple. You described many facets of your species, including the bad parts," the princess answered readily. "You were willing to admit to the shortcomings of your species and you did not even hesitate. The fact that you can see the flaws in your species tells me that you aren't a wholly bad being, if you have any evil in you to begin with."
I opened my mouth to retort, closed it as I tried to think of a good one, and then opened up again. "But you don't know anything about me personally. All you've got is what I've done with those two unicorns in that room I was put me in, what I've told you, and this conversation. I mean, you don't know anything about the first eighteen years of my life!"
"That is true," Celestia admitted, nodding. "Do you think explaining the first eighteen years of your life would help?"
I paused for a second, glancing down towards my feet, which were crossed underneath me. I wasn't exactly willing to discuss certain aspects of it, so I provided a heavily shortened version. "Basically...I didn't care about school 'til I was ten or so, then I discovered that I should care and I also found the Internet. Then I slowly got in the cross-country team, got a different perspective on life, and almost went to college."
A hint of a frown crossed Celestia's face. "I noticed you spared on the details, Patrick; could you elaborate?"
"Uh..." I clenched my fingers around my legs. "Well...some aspects of those years...are kind of uncomfortable to talk about..." My migraine flared up and I winced, hand flashing to my forehead. "Ow...let's just say I was an ignorant dick until age ten."
"I understand..." she said, "but...that headache. Are you sure that nothing will help?"
"Oh...whoops," I chuckled weakly as something came to mind. "I forgot...sleep always gets rid of them eventually."
"Then you should sleep," Celestia said with an air of finality. "I'll have a guard bring you back to your room. We can discuss more tomorrow."
I sighed and straightened up, guessing that she wouldn't change her mind, and also wanting this anyway. "Okay...hang on a second," I said, having a moment of clarity. "I told you about the cryochamber and all that. Since it's got a ton of information about humans and stuff stored in the computer, we should visit it tomorrow. Does that sound okay?"
The princess nodded, standing up. "Deal. Tomorrow, when we meet, I will bring you to where we found you, and you will show me the information. Right, Patrick?"
"Great," I said, unsteadily standing up and backing away from the table a couple of paces. "Wait, hang on a second! I still don't have my bags."
"Your bags?"
"Right; there was...a black suitcase, a green backpack..." I started.
"It will be attended to. Guard!" Celestia called. The door opened and one of the guards entered the room, facing her.
"Take Patrick back to his room," she ordered. "Then bring him his bags. After that, you and your partner are dismissed for the day."
The guard bowed briefly. "Yes, Princess."
Despite my migraine, some part of me couldn't resist saying something. "Holy shit, it talks!" I said, mocking surprise, before wincing in pain again from the throb of the headache.
Celestia cracked a smile. "Until tomorrow, Patrick."
"See you," I said to her, smiling weakly, before turning to the guard. He looked at me coldly, no doubt unamused by my pathetic excuse for a joke, then beckoned and led me away. He shoved open the door, held it so I could catch it and it wouldn't slam me in the face, and led me back down the hallway.
"So..." I said after a moment, as the headache briefly calmed, "have you given any thought to what I said about the armor and all that?"
The guard predictably said nothing. I sighed and rubbed my temple, losing interest quickly. Man...I wish I'd known back then what I'd be doing right now...
I frowned and shook my head. Not like I'd have believed myself anyway...
Firefall stepped outside of the castle, paused and rubbed his head, and continued down the path to the rest of Canterlot. His body was on the road, trotting home along a well-traveled path, but his mind was in the castle with the human.
The human. Patrick Stanford Walker. Just thinking about him was confusing. Nothing about him made sense--it didn't take any historian, archaeologist, hippologist, or any other academically prominent pony to know this.
Between his claims that magic wasn't real and that horses weren't supposed to talk, his comparable intelligence to at least that of an average pony when he was clearly related to the relatively stupid apes, and his discovery--stuck in an underground box--he was downright baffling. The fact that he could speak perfect Equestrian was merely icing on the cake of confusion.
Firefall was really beginning to wish he hadn't agreed to do this for his final project.
But he had to do it, he told himself; besides, it was at least interesting. He'd certainly be occupied with this for some time.
But where did the human come from? And how? Why did he speak perfect Equestrian? How was he so smart, but be clueless as to the existence of magic? And speaking of magic, why did he have so little anyway? It would have been nice to have stayed in the room with him as he was talking with Princess Celestia...
Firefall suddenly found himself on the welcome mat in front of a brown door attached to the two-story, mid-sized house he called home. He blinked and shook his head. He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed where he was going, but due to walking the same path every day, he found himself at home again. The route had been perfectly ingrained into his memory.
There was something oddly comforting about that, he silently reflected as he adjusted his hat and pushed open the door. Whistling tunelessly, he stepped inside, jerking the door closed with a touch of magic, and headed left into the kitchen.
"Oh, hi there, Tempora," Firefall said nonchalantly, barely sparing a glance toward the royal blue mare as he went straight for the refrigerator and opened it, looking around inside.
"Hello, Fire! Whatcha been doin' today?" greeted Tempora, looking up from the counter. "Decided on a project yet?"
"What have you got there?" Firefall deflected instantly, levitating a bottle of cider and closing the door.
"Oh, this?" Tempora adjusted her hat--a black wizard hat that was identical to Firefall's--as she glanced down at the counter again. "It's a broken pencil."
"A broken pencil?" Firefall repeated, effortlessly uncorking the bottle with telekinesis and sitting down on a stool at the counter beside her. "Okay, but why are you..."
"I was writing some dumb paper when I guess I focused my magic too much and it split in half," Tempora half-explained, glaring at the pencil. Then her gaze shifted upward. "So, decided on a project yet?"
Firefall paused briefly. As students in their final year at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, they each had to come up with their own individual final projects in order to graduate. However, Firefall's project was...special, to say the least.
So he decided to play dumb. "Get a new pencil?" he suggested, ignoring the last question.
"Aw, come on, Fire!" scowled Tempora, visibly upset. "You're hiding something from me! We never hide things from each other! You know I won't tell anypony!"
"It's not that," Firefall muttered, looking down at his bottle before taking a swift swig. "I have decided on something. However, as per Princess Celestia's orders, it's highly classified. There's only about half a dozen other ponies that know about it."
The blue mare frowned, then grinned. "Ooh, so it's important enough that Princess Celestia herself is part of it!" She turned in her seat, holding out a hoof, beckoning for a hoofbump. "She never gets directly involved in student projects, or if she does, it's really rare! We should go get some pizza or something to celebrate!"
Firefall chuckled and went with the hoofbump. "Thanks, sis, but you don't even know what the project is."
Tempora grabbed her brother by the shoulders with her front hooves. "Look, I know it's top secret and everything, but I swear I won't tell anypony. We've trusted each other longer than we can remember, and if you can't trust me with a secret like this, then who can you trust?"
Firefall stared back into his sister's eyes--the bright orange eyes that were exactly like his own--and relented. "All right. I suppose I can't argue with you."
Tempora let go, beaming. "Woo! I knew you'd go along with it!" she cheered. "Now tell me! Please!"
"All right. But promise not to tell anypony else."
Tempora leaned back, took her hat off, and pressed if over her chest, revealing a teal mane--the same color as Firefall's coat--and a royal blue horn, matching her coat. "I, Tempora Strider, promise to not tell anypony about Firefall Strider's project, whatever it is, unless we agree together to abandon the promise. Not even Princess Celestia, even though she already knows about it." She swung the hat back on her head and leaned forward expectantly.
"...Well, okay then." Firefall took a quick sip of cider. "A couple of days ago, the crystal miners found some kind of metal room thing buried underground. When they opened it, they found a hairless apelike creature who saw them and fainted. They brought him up to the castle and we've been studying him and talking with him."
"An ape thing...? But..."
"So when he woke up, we found out some things that were even more confusing. He spoke perfect Equestrian and first called himself Patrick Stanford Walker. When he saw us, he thought he was dreaming and tried to wake himself up by slamming his head into the headboard on the bed."
Tempora snorted with laughter. "Seems pretty stupid of him."
"Perhaps, but based on how he reacted, I'm guessing he came from somewhere far away that happens to share our language," Firefall said. "He didn't think we should have been able to talk and didn't think magic was real. Not only that, when we measured his magic level, he had three thaums."
"Three hundred?" Tempora asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No. Just three. Three total."
"Three total hundred?"
"...No. Just three." Firefall paused and scratched his chin. "Do you get a sense of déjà vu?"
"But just three? Are you kidding me?" Tempora said, throwing her hooves up. "That's crazy! That bottle of cider you got there has more magic than that!"
"I'm not kidding. I don't know why, either. Maybe Princess Celestia knows why, but if she does, she hasn't told me. She spoke with him today, but I wasn't allowed to listen. She said she'd debrief me tomorrow, though."
"I hope so. This is so cool, though!" Tempora cheered. "This new human thing, and he's so weird and different...I kind of want to sneak in and see him!"
"It might be warded against outsiders, though," her brother warned. "Not to mention you're not supposed to know about this..."
"Aww..." Tempora's head flopped down briefly. "So what do you have to do with him?"
"Basically, I've got to be his companion. I have to find out what I can from him about who he is and where he came from and, if necessary, teach him about ponies and Equestria," Firefall explained, recalling what the princess had told him. "Especially about magic--although since he isn't affected by magic, it might turn out strange. Eventually, maybe he will go out and actually be able to meet some ponies."
Tempora idly poked at her broken pencil with a hoof. "You think you can do it?"
"I don't know, but I'm not going to give up," Firefall said, shrugging. "We shall see."
The mare smirked. "Sure...in the meantime, though, let's get some pizza. You in?"
"We don't need to get pizza just because of a project I'm doing..."
"Oh, come on," Tempora grinned. "I'm the big sister--"
"By about seven and a half minutes--"
"--and I say we go get some pizza."
"Fine, fine," Firefall said, rolling his eyes, but grinning back. "Since you put up such a convincing argument..."
They slid off of their stools, and as Tempora briefly squinted in concentration, the broken pencil disappeared from the table in an orange flash of light. "There we go..." she breathed quietly.
"So what exactly were you doing with that pencil?" asked her brother as he moved toward the front door.
"Oh, that! You know, it's funny that you told me about what you're working on, because that broken pencil gave me an idea for my own project before you got home..."
At nearly eight in the morning, I was reading on the floor of the bathroom, fully clothed in jeans and a T-shirt, lying on my stomach, with The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, & Memoirs propped up against the wall. Quite an interesting start to my day, considering I'd been doing that since maybe two in the morning. But I didn't care, even though my eyes were baggy and I was tired.
...Okay, I did care a bit. But I hadn't slept.
I chuckled a bit at the book as I heard the door in the main room that led to the hall open and the clopping of hooves. In seconds, I spotted Firefall Strider in my peripheral vision.
"Good morning, Patrick. What are you doing?"
"I'm reading," I told him without looking up.
"...Yes, but why?"
"Because I couldn't sleep, and this bathroom gives me light when that main room doesn't," I explained matter-of-factly.
"Oh." He paused. "What are you reading?"
I stuck my right index finger in the book to mark my page and closed the book around it, looking toward him and showing him the cover.
Firefall frowned. "I can't read that. The letters are all wrong."
I felt my face heat up from embarrassment. "Sorry. I forgot you had a different alphabet. This is called The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, & Memoirs, and it was written by a Civil War veteran called Ambrose Bierce. It's a book with pretty dark humor, and the dictionary part is just glorious."
I glanced at the unicorn's face and noticed a look of confusion. "Here, I'll show you," I muttered, looking at a page and smiling as I found something. "'Piano, noun,'" I read aloud. "'A parlor utensil for subduing the impertinent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.'"
Firefall raised his eyebrows. "Uh, okay..."
"Black humor not your thing?" I muttered, glancing up at him again.
"...No, not really," he admitted. "Actually, I don't think I know any pony who uses that kind of humor."
I shrugged. "Okay..."
"Anyway," Firefall said, "I brought you some breakfast, but we have to meet up with Princess Celestia in one hour. I wouldn't waste too much time if I were you."
Breakfast. In the last couple of days, I'd completely forgotten about food. But now that this unicorn mentioned it, I was hungry. As if on cue, my stomach rumbled.
I shut the book, stood up, and stretched. "Thanks. I'll try to hurry," I said to Firefall, brushing past him to my bed, where I could see a metal tray sitting, laden with food. Setting the book on one of my open bags, I sat on the bed cross-legged in front of the tray of food.
Without thinking too much, I grabbed the first thing I saw--a sandwich--and brought it up to my mouth, taking a huge bite out of it--which was a mistake. Something tasted wrong...
With difficulty, I chewed and swallowed against the weird taste. I paused, lifted the top slice of bread to see what was underneath, and found...flowers. Daisies, specifically...if I remembered right.
I eyed Firefall, frowning. "Did you just give me a daisy sandwich?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. At his nod, I sighed. "Humans can't digest flowers. At all."
He turned red--at least as best he could with his teal coat color. "Oh...gee, I'm sorry. I should have asked. What can you eat?"
I looked at the rest of the food--a small salad and a glass of water. "The rest of this looks fine as far as I can tell, as long as the salad doesn't have hay or anything," I said, picking the daisies out of the sandwich. "But eventually, I'm going to need meat, or else I get unhealthy. Humans are omnivores."
Firefall pursed his lips. "Don't worry, there's no hay; I'll be sure to let the cook know for next time," he told me before turning away a bit. Nevertheless, I could hear him mutter, "Well, the eating meat would explain those canines Full Life found..."
Pretending I hadn't heard anything, I finished picking the daisies out of the daisy sandwich--making it a blank sandwich--and took a bite out of it, eyes wandering as I did. As Firefall's back was turned to me, I caught sight of a tattoo on his upper hind leg--a thin line of fire that curved like a snake, headed by a fireball. I decided not to comment on it and went back to my food, eating somewhat more quickly.
There was silence for a couple of minutes as I ate, with neither of us speaking--but I felt it was still weird talking to a pony. For all I knew, our brains could function very differently, not to mention the doubtless differences in our societies, and I didn't want to make it awkward. I couldn't guess what Firefall was thinking until he turned and broke the silence.
"So...Patrick," he said curiously. "What kinds of things did you bring in those bags of yours, besides that book?"
I swallowed, trying to remember what I'd put in there. "Let's see...a few more books...a little poster...clothes, obviously...my laptop and smartphone and their cables...a watch...maybe other things too, but I can't remember right off the bat."
Firefall gave a confused look that I was starting to become very familiar with. "What's a 'laptop' and a 'smartphone'?"
I paused for a moment as I finished the last bit, my tray now clean. "Uh...I'll tell you, but shouldn't we be going to meet that princess of yours?"
"Oh! Right. Yes, all right."
"I'll explain on the way...or I'll try to," I said as I found my sneakers in a bag and slid my feet into them. "Lead the way."
Firefall gave me a half-smile and trotted to the doorway. I followed, closing the door behind me.
"So...start with the laptop thing," he prompted as we started heading down the enormous hallway. "What is it?"
I scratched my chin as I thought of an appropriate place to start. "All right...do you ponies have computers?"
"Yes...but there's only a few of them in existence so far, and they're only owned by Princess Celestia herself, her school, and a couple of other wealthy ponies," Firefall said.
"...How big are they?" I asked.
"...Well, let me think...I've seen one, and I'd guess it would be...about as big as your room. Maybe even bigger," he said. "Why? Is this 'laptop' of yours a computer?"
"...Actually, yeah. It's just a lot smaller and probably more powerful."
"Smaller and more powerful?" Firefall said, sounding slightly in awe. "This is something ponies have only invented within the past few years!"
"Just wait a few decades," I muttered. "Yeah. Smaller--probably the size of that food tray--and more powerful. The smartphone is similar, except you can contact anyone who has another one of those from anywhere in the world, too. Also, that's even smaller."
Firefall frowned. "If I were almost anypony I knew, I'd say you were making it up."
"Why would I lie about something like that?" I asked rhetorically. "In any case, seeing as you don't seem to think it's definitely possible, I'm guessing you don't have any. Without other phones and a satellite, it's useless if I want to call anyone."
"We have a satellite. Two, actually. The sun and the moon."
I frowned. "Okay, now I'm starting to think you're making crap up. The moon I get, but the sun isn't a satellite to the Earth. The Earth is a satellite to the sun."
Firefall actually stopped at that point and glared directly at me. "No, the sun goes around the planet. Just as it always has. It rises in the east, goes across the sky, and sets in the west, like it does every day."
Oh, god, he's serious. In spite of this, though, I couldn't help but crack up as I stopped with him. In the position I was in, there was no other option.
"Why is this so funny?" I heard Firefall demand.
"I'm standing here...talking with a unicorn wizard pony...who understands perfect English...and believes the solar system is fucking geocentric!" I chortled, beginning to walk away in the direction we'd been heading. "You can't make this up!"
"Bu-wh-I'm not, though!" he protested, trotting quickly up to me. "It's common knowledge! Princess Celestia raises and lowers the sun and moon every day and night! It's one of the first things us ponies teach our foals!"
"Oh god, it gets even better!" I cackled. "Now a magic pony moves the sun and moon, and it's not gravity or anything!" I looked down at the little wizard, trying to contain myself. "Look, us humans proved heliocentrism was real hundreds of years before I was born. We've walked on the moon. I think I know what I'm talking about."
Firefall rolled his eyes. "You've walked on the moon? Impossible! Forget your smartphones, there is no possible way anyone--pony or not--could have walked on the moon!"
"You'll be eating your words soon enough!" I shot back. "You just gotta wait until we get into those computers and it'll tell you all you need to know!"
"Reliable historical records tell us that Princess Celestia has been raising and lowering the sun and moon for around a thousand years," Firefall countered, undeterred, "and the unicorns before her!"
"Oh, really? Then who did it before the unicorns? Helios, the sun god? Or was it Apollo? Hell, for all you know, the Grim Reaper himself raised the sun and all that!"
Firefall looked for a second as if he was going to give some kind of nasty retort--then he stopped. "Wait a second," he mumbled to himself. "Who did raise the sun and moon before the unicorns?"
"I rest my case," I concluded smugly.
"Oh no you don't!" he said, clearly irritated. "I still don't believe you! I haven't seen evidence to your...heliocentrism!"
"Oh, but you will."
"Will what?" a new voice from just around the corner asked. As we turned the corner to see who it was, we saw none other than Princess Celestia herself.
After discussing heliocentrism versus geocentrism openly and rather forcefully, our reactions went about as you might expect.
"Princess!" Firefall exclaimed in shock and slight terror, throwing himself at her hooves, bowing, while I hurriedly dipped into a bow myself, hoping she hadn't seen my face, which had probably been blushing like mad, judging by how hot it felt.
"No need for that, Firefall, Patrick," she said casually, and we straightened up. "What were you discussing?"
I froze.
Firefall and I had been discussing heliocentrism. If what he said was true, then Princess Celestia could move the sun, and could probably, by extension, vaporize me with a touch of magic, which seemed possible if she knew I was trying to argue against heliocentrism. Even if I was right, and she couldn't move the sun, it was obvious to even me--who had almost no magic--that she was very powerful, and could probably still harm me just to silence my dissenting views.
Sure, it wasn't 1984 or anything like that, but I wasn't willing to take any chances.
All of this went through my mind in less than one second, and as Firefall started to reply to his ruler, I knew what I had to do.
Firefall blushed. "Uh...we were discussing his hel--"
"My heels!" I cut in, pointing to my feet. "Yeah, I was just telling Firefall here how I had trouble with my heels back a long time ago, but then they got better, and now they're perfectly fine!"
I held back a grimace, hoping my story would stick.
"I'm sorry to hear about that," Celestia said without much change in expression, "but we do have something to do." She stepped aside and gestured to a simple door in the wall behind her. "This is the quickest way to the mine you were found in, Patrick."
I nodded, hoping she actually had bought my story, and she turned, magicked the door open, and stepped through. Behind her back, Firefall mouthed Your heels? at me before he followed.
I stepped after them, closing the door behind me, and squinted against the sunlight as I breathed fresh air in.
And it felt good.
My eyes quickly adjusted to the sunlight, and I could tell that we were on some kind of cliff. Fortunately, the cliff side itself was a fairly good distance away to make room for a wide dirt road that ran left and right at a slight curve.
"Are you coming?"
Firefall's voice jerked me back to reality. I looked to my left and saw him and Celestia looking at me curiously, a bit down from my positions because of the slant of the road.
"Sorry," I apologized, heading after them.
As we resumed our walk, I tried to take careful notice of my surroundings. The road we were on seemed to wind around what looked like a mountain--a mountain that looked like it had a huge white castle on top of it. It looked like we had just come out of the castle--the castle I'd been living in for the past couple of days. Out from the mountain were mostly grasslands and a river, with a big forest out a ways and a small town just visible beyond.
In a split second, the thought of leaving the path and skidding down the rock face sped through my mind. And they wouldn't be able to catch me. Magic doesn't work on me. If I was careful, I might actually survive and make it away from here.
I shook my head, banishing the thought. Where had that come from?
Deciding to pretend that hadn't happened, I stuck my hands in my pockets and aimlessly kicked a loose pebble on the road as I walked. It skidded to my right, fell over the ledge, and bounced down the rock face.
Roll when you land. I shook my head again and flicked a finger against my temple. It's like my subconscious is telling me to roll down the mountain and probably kill myself...
As I returned to reality, looking toward Celestia and Firefall again, a large wooden cart laden with what looked like crystals came into view ahead of us. As we got closer, I could see a copper-colored pony with a miner's hat and without wings or a horn tossing crystals into the cart. Not noticing us, he moved back away from the cliff, where I was starting to see the opening to a mine and a mine cart sitting on rails.
The miner pony reached into the mine cart, grabbed some crystals, and made a move to toss them into the wooden wagon before spotting us. "Princess!" he said immediately, dropping into a bow and dropping the crystals, his attention firmly focused on the princess. "What brings you here?"
Another pair of hornless, wingless miner ponies--one with light gray-blue fur and the other with a more purple fur color--looked around at us from their positions by the mine cart. "Princess?" they said, before dropping into bows before her.
"Rise, my little ponies. My companions and I simply need to go to the...metal room your coworkers found the other day," Celestia said softly but firmly.
The miners stood up from their bows. "Of course, your highness," the copper one said, his eyes traveling over us. He looked at Firefall and gave no reaction, but when he looked at me, he jolted back slightly.
"You?"
"Me," I said simply, crossing my arms.
The other two looked at me and then at one another. Wordlessly, they returned to their original spots, eyeing me suspiciously.
The copper-colored miner paused briefly, then nodded. "Okay. You can walk, or you can take the mine cart. The mine cart is quicker and it's safe, so if you wanna use that, go ahead."
I shrugged. "Works for me," and Firefall nodded.
"Okay then. We can take you two--" he pointed at Firefall and I-- "down together in this mine cart as soon as we're done unloading it, or we can take you, your highness--" he nodded to Celestia-- "alone. There isn't a lotta room in these things. Whoever doesn't go first will have to wait."
"I can simply fly down," Celestia offered.
"Right, your highness. Well, you two, just wait a second and this thing'll be ready for you."
The miner briefly bowed to Celestia again before turning to his companions. "Well, what are you waiting for? Let's empty it already!"
He promptly stepped over, scooped out a handful--hoofful--of crystals and tossing them into the wooden cart, and his companions copied him. With their speed, it was done in less than a minute, and they stepped back.
"Okay, this is how it's gonna work," said the copper-colored miner. "You, big guy--" he pointed to me-- "you're gonna wanna get in first."
I did wordlessly and found that, even when crossing my legs beneath me, I occupied almost the entire floor of the mine cart.
The copper miner nodded. "Thought that would happen. Now, I hate to say this, but you--" he pointed to Firefall-- "are gonna have to sit on his..."
He paused, clearly struggling to find an appropriate word. So I helped him out.
"My lap," I finished for him. Ponies, I assumed, didn't exactly have laps.
"Right, his lap."
Firefall frowned slightly, but didn't complain, went over to the mine cart, and climbed in, sitting right in my lap like a dog--though more careful of how he placed his hooves and tail.
The copper miner looked at us carefully. "Okay then, looks as good as I think it can get. This thing is one speed only, and I wouldn't stick your legs or heads out if I were you, but you're not gonna fall out. It'll take you to the end of the tracks as we've made them so far, but that's not very far from where we found that...room of yours."
I shrugged and nodded. Looking past him, I could still see the other two miners glaring at me distrustfully. So I simply glared back for a few seconds.
The miner moved behind the mine cart. "You might wanna hang on to something, though. Get ready, because this is goin' down in three...two...one..."
And he pushed hard. We rolled slowly at first, but at the first incline, we immediately picked up a ton of speed--speed at what some might call sickeningly fast and sharp turns out of nowhere.
Essentially, it was a five-minute roller coaster ride, except in the dark and without seat belts. As I once loved roller coasters, I probably would have loved it, but I didn't care so much anymore. Whoopee...
Firefall, on the other hand, felt tense. It was especially clear when I stroked his back, forgetting for a moment that he was sapient and not a dog--I'd known dogs his size. When I stroked him, he stiffened up even more, and I remembered who he was and I stopped. I would have apologized, too, if not for the racket the mine cart was making and the loudness of the wind blowing past us--my apology would have gone unheard.
The mine cart eventually slowed down as we neared some lights, which reflected off of crystals still embedded in the walls of the mine. We neared the buffers at the end of the track, but the mine cart slowed down enough so that when it hit the buffers, it was more of a tap than a slam.
Must be magic again...
Firefall began to climb out, careful not to hurt me, and as he did, a couple more miners with dull coat colors and lit helmets spotted us and came over. "Hey!" one of them, a greenish-gray one yelled out. "What do you think you're doing--oh, holy Celestia, it's you!"
The last bit was directed at me as he saw me behind Firefall, and he backed up slightly. The other miner--this one with a dull yellow coat--did the same. "What are you doing here?!" he yelled.
"Jesus Christ, I'm not gonna eat you or anything!" I yelled, carefully standing and stepping out.
"No, he won't, will you?" said a voice from behind me. I turned and saw Princess Celestia standing behind me with a smile.
"Jesus!" I yelled in surprise, backing up a step. "Where did you come from...your highness?"
"I've been following you and Firefall," she told me without losing her smile. "I did say I was going to fly down."
"R-right," I said, smiling weakly.
"Princess!" said the two miners, running up and bowing.
"What can we do for you?" asked the greenish-gray one.
"And why are...they here?" added the yellow one.
"Rise, my little ponies. No doubt you remember the metal room you and your coworkers found Patrick here in, don't you?" Celestia said while pointing to me and getting a nod in response as the miners stood. "Well, we think there are things in there that can help us. Which way is it?"
"It's right up there, your highness," said the yellow one, pointing behind us. I turned and saw the edge of something metal on a ledge five feet above us and about twenty yards away.
Looking up reminded me of how deep we were underground, and I tried to follow the mine cart tracks with my eyes. They disappeared quickly, though, and the only lights I could see were not that of the mine entrance, but of the miners' headlamps and of some other artificial lighting that seemed attached to the walls. Must be freaking magic.
"There are steps to get up to it," the greenish-gray miner said, "and it's open, too. It's exactly as we left it."
"Excellent. Thank you."
Out of my peripheral vision I saw the miners go to their work and Celestia turn towards the room. What I didn't fully expect was Firefall to turn to me and approach me.
"Patrick, is something wrong?" he asked in a surprisingly caring tone.
"No, I'm just looking around," I muttered.
"Why, is something interesting?"
I pointed to the lights on the walls. "What are those made from?"
He gave me a look as if I was stupid. "That's magic; how do you--oh, right. I'm sorry, I forgot you're not used to magic. We use magic to light caves and mines, too; not just buildings."
I sighed and held back an eye roll. "Of course."
I followed the two of them up the steps the miners had pointed out and, within a minute, was facing the gray, metal room I'd spent god-knew-how-long in. It was completely dark inside and the sliding door had been forced nearly all the way open.
And it was human-made. Probably one of the last of its kind left.
"After you," Celestia said, gesturing me forward.
I took a breath, staring into the darkness, and stepped through the open doorway.
The first thing I noticed was...the darkness. Nothing but the darkness. It was too dark to see anything--there wasn't enough magical light from the mine itself to light anything up in the room, and any electric lights the room may have had were off.
I opened my mouth to ask my companions if there could be some light, but before I said a word, a trio of small, but bright orange balls of light floated past me and settled on the ceiling, banishing most of the darkness. I blinked as my eyes adjusted and automatically muttered "Thanks."
I stepped forward a bit more, looking around the smallish metal room, internally grinning as my memory clicked and I started to remember.
To the right were storage cabinets, a couple of which were still open.
To the left was the main computer, hidden behind sealed panels so it looked like wall.
And in the center of the room stood the now-open, coffinlike cryopod. I automatically stepped toward it, trying to recall everything. Something's up with me...
"Patrick," said Celestia's voice from behind me, "how are we going to access this...computer?"
"It's touch-sensitive," I muttered, now standing over the cryopod and staring into it. "First, I need to...well, awaken this cryopod with my fingerprints. That basically sets everything else up--it unlocks the computers and the other cabinets."
I frowned, realizing something, and faced my companions. "Wait a second. I was found by pony miners. Ponies. How did they get in? How did they open this?"
"According to what they told me," Celestia said, "when they found it, they touched the door and something in the door clicked, but they still had to force it open with their tools. When one of them touched your...cryopod, it opened and so did a few of your cabinets."
I frowned and scratched my chin absently. "Well, if the cabinets opened when the cryopod did, that makes sense...but you ponies shouldn't have been able to get in at all. They--the scientists--told me that this room would only recognize human touch."
Firefall frowned. "Maybe it's faulty? Maybe it thought the ponies' touch was human..."
"Could be..." I muttered, turning back to the cryopod. "Let me see here..."
I walked around the box, looking for the touch sensor and trying to remember where the scientists had told me they had put it. I quickly found it on the head side, and I smirked internally, leaned down a bit, and pressed my whole hand against it, waiting a few seconds.
"What are you doing?" Firefall asked, looking confused.
"Touch-sensitive, remember?" I prompted. "It's supposed to recognize my fingerprints, and each human's fingerprints are uniq--"
I was interrupted by some kind of...chirp coming from the the cryopod. I pulled my hand away instantly, surprised. I didn't remember that.
And then the thing spoke to me. It spoke out loud. In perfect English.
"Handprint recognized," it said in a cool female voice. "Hello, Patrick Stanford Walker."
Both Firefall and Celestia recoiled somewhat in shock. "Did that thing just talk?!" Firefall yelped.
"Two unrecognized life-forms detected inside cryochamber," the cryopod said in the same cool tone. "Patrick Stanford Walker, are they friendly or hostile?"
For a split second, I wondered what would happen if I said hostile, but I quickly banished the thought. I wasn't taking any chances. "Friendly!" I said hurriedly.
"Unidentified life-forms identified as friendly," the cryopod said. "Systems are secure. What would you like to do, Patrick Stanford Walker?"
In an instant, I remembered what this thing was, and I mentally slapped myself for being an idiot. "Oh god, now I got it," I chuckled.
"Patrick, what is that thing?" Celestia asked warily, staring at me.
"It's the cryopod-computer system...but I totally forgot it had artificial intelligence," I explained briefly, laughing at myself. "It responds only to me, and especially since you two aren't even human...hang on."
I turned to the cryopod. "Uh, cryopod, do you have an official designation?"
"My official designation is see-are-why-eight," said the cryopod immediately, "or CRY-8, although you are free to give me another designation to refer to me by."
"Why are you called CRY-8?" was the first thing that sprang to mind.
"The CRY in CRY-8 simply applies to cryonics and its aspects," CRY-8 told me. "The eight is simply there because I am the eighth final cryopod developed."
Both Celestia and Firefall stood slack-jawed, staring at CRY-8, undoubtedly amazed, to say the least. "I've never seen anything like it..." Celestia muttered.
"This is one of those computers you were telling me about, then...I guess..." Firefall observed. "Unless there's...no, there's no way someone's actually controlling it...it sounds alive! Like it's actually a living creature like you or me!"
"It's called artificial intelligence," I explained. "It's supposed to sound alive. But it was created by scientists and programmers and people like that. I've got to admit, for most of my life, I didn't expect to meet one so...realistic."
It isn't like Siri is very realistic, I thought, at least compared to this. Then a thought struck me like lightning.
"Hang on a second, CRY-8," I said suddenly. "You said you were the eighth. Why? Were there others? Are you cryochamber version eight or something?"
"There were other cryochambers developed," CRY-8 said. "CRY-1 through CRY-10 in total. All ten cryopods were equipped with scanners to sense others, and though mine have been somewhat damaged, I can sense CRY-3 and CRY-10 close by. We are identical models: version three. Versions one and two were prototypes."
You sense other cryochambers...
"Wait...are you telling me there's more of you?" Firefall asked in apparent shock.
Holy shit...am I not alone?
"CRY-8..." I said slowly, deliberately, trying not to get too excited, "why are there other cryochambers?"
"There were nine other people who were to go through the same experiment as you," CRY-8 said in its cool tone. "Each one of you, placed in cryosleep, was inside each cryochamber. The other cryochambers and I were placed approximately ten kilometers apart from one another, and as the earth has shifted over time, my scanners have been damaged and I have lost sight of all but CRY-3 and CRY-10. You are the first occupant to awaken between myself, CRY-3, and CRY-10."
Holy shit. Holy mother of god.
"I think there are more of you still, then," Firefall muttered, still in shock.
Don't get excited. Don't get excited. It might all come crashing down anyway, like...the other stuff. Don't get excited, damn it, Patrick!
Forcibly swallowing any excitement I might have had, I glanced at the ponies and said, "Okay, that's cool, I guess."
I pretended not to hear her and faced CRY-8 again. "CRY-8, I'm going to give you another designation, and it will be..." I paused for a moment as a name came to mind. "...Polaris."
"New designation accepted," said Polaris. "I shall respond to the designations CRY-8 and Polaris. Thank you, Patrick Stanford Walker."
In spite of the fact that Polaris was an artificial intelligence and wasn't truly sentient, I couldn't help but say "you're welcome".
"Patrick...this whatever-it-is tells you there's probably more of you still alive," Firefall said, aghast, "and you give it a new name, of all things?!"
I turned, glaring at Firefall and crossing my arms. "Look, once you've been through some things, you change. I'm trying to be realistic, and I'm not holding on to the hope that there might be more humans because it's not realistic. Not everything turns out all nice, okay?"
"But...not only are you so willing to dismiss the possibility that there might be more humans still alive, you don't even know how long you've been in that thing!" Firefall countered. "If you haven't been in there for that long, it seems to me that the other humans are more likely to be alive, and their...cryochambers...haven't been messed with somehow, just because more things tend to happen given more time!"
"Good point! Let's find out!" I said with mock enthusiasm. "What's today's date?"
Taken aback by the question, Firefall stuttered slightly. "Um...uh, it's the twenty-fourth day of spring, 975, Celestial Era. But how's that going to help?"
I ignored that last sentence and turned. "Polaris, what's today's date, what date was I put in cryostasis, and how long have I been in cryostasis?"
Out of my peripheral vision, I saw Firefall roll his eyes. "There's no way this thing can tell you--"
"Today's date is April twelfth, 2,389,217, Common Era," Polaris said in its cool tone, "you were put in cryostasis on July thirty-first, 2016, Common Era, and you were in cryostasis for approximately 2,387,200 years, eight months, twelve days, three hours, thirty-one minutes, and seven seconds, rounded to the nearest second."
The ponies stared at Polaris, wide-eyed, then shifted their gazes to me.
"You're over two million years old?!" Firefall practically yelled.
"I know of nothing that's that old, aside from the earth, sun, moon, and stars...it's incredibly unbelievable," Celestia said, shaking her head slightly.
"Bear in mind that my body was basically put on pause for that two million year-plus time span," I reminded them, "and that biologically, I'm twenty years old. Yeah, I'm basically...millions of years old...but at the same time, not really..."
"Could that thing be broken?" Firefall asked, frowning at it. "That's really hard to believe. There's no way you're that old."
"Okay, I'll humor you. Polaris, are you broken?" I said, my voice laced with sarcasm.
"The only damage is to the scanner that detects the other cryochambers," Polaris said instantly. "Everything else is running perfectly."
"So basically, mostly no," I concluded coolly. "You've got your answer."
I put my hands behind my back and started pacing back and forth casually. "So what exactly do you want to know right now? I could keep asking Polaris questions, or I could ask it to turn on a monitor so I can search for things directly, I think..."
I glanced at them and could see them looking toward each other, muttering among themselves. I felt inclined to listen in, but it was rude, they would notice, and they would probably do...something.
I just hoped Firefall wouldn't ask about the solar system...at least, not while Celestia was around...
"Patrick," Celestia said after about fifteen seconds, "please ask...Polaris...how close the other...cryochambers are."
I shrugged, stopped moving, and turned back to Polaris. "Polaris, how close are the other cryochambers you can still sense?"
"CRY-3 is approximately sixty-three meters west-northwest of us and twelve meters down," Polaris said, "and CRY-10 is approximately 4.8 kilometers south of us and fifty-seven meters down."
My eyes widened in surprise. CRY-3 is really close by...I think...stupid metric...
"Another human is close by?" Firefall said as his pupils shrank. "But...that means..."
"Does it mean the--" I started, but never got to finish.
An angry yell sounded through the mine, taking all of us by surprise. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? AGAIN?!"
If we hadn't been surprised before, we certainly were now. Firefall turned and ran out of the open doorway, with Celestia following at a fast walk and me bringing up the rear. Once I was out of the cryochamber, I turned to my right, took the steps two at a time, passed the end of the mine cart tracks, and halted as I saw where the miners had been concentrating their efforts in digging.
A soil-brown miner with bright golden eyes shoved his way past me without taking a close look at me. "That's it, I'm done here!" he yelled in frustration as he threw his pickaxe in a random direction before he started heading toward the mine cart tracks.
I frowned, then turned to the pocket of the mine that the miners had dug out so far. They were standing there in a group, staring at something, backs turned to me, with Celestia and Firefall along with them. Even though I was around twenty feet away, I was taller than all of them save Celestia and I could see what they were staring at.
It was part of a smooth, gray, metal surface in the wall of the mine. Exactly the same as the surface on my cryochamber.
I thought this as I sat down heavily on the floor of the mine.
Why didn't you just tell me there would be others?
I raised my head slightly, looking back up at the ponies and listening hard.
"Uh...Princess..." one of the miners said. "I think we found another one of those...metal rooms?"
"Yes, I believe you have," Celestia said calmly.
"You think we should dig it out and...open it, like we did the other one, your highness?" another one asked.
"I shall do it myself," Celestia said. "Step back a little. This should only take a moment."
As the miners and Firefall backed up slowly, I stood up again to get a better view of exactly what she was trying to do. Her horn started to glow intensely gold, and the rock face covering the rest of the third cryochamber began to glow gold and shake.
"She shouldn't hit us," muttered Firefall, who had come beside me, "but watch out anyway."
I nodded and watched apprehensively before what happened next...happened.
A piece of rock tore itself from the rock face violently and settled down a good few yards away from it. And then another. And another. Within seconds, the air in front of us seemed filled with flying chunks of rock.
Within about thirty seconds, there was a large pile of rock, and just behind it sat a fully exposed cryochamber--different from mine because mine was only partially exposed, dug out manually in what must have taken hours at least. Whereas this one was done in less than a minute by one creature.
I made a mental note to tread even more carefully around Celestia in future in case she somehow figured out a way around my immunity to magic.
"Firefall, Patrick," Celestia called softly, turning around, "come here, please."
I really didn't want to go near Celestia anymore, but I did anyway beside the only being I even slightly knew. Against my better judgement, I thought. But I knew what she wanted.
She wanted me to open it and for the three of us to get inside, and most likely to awaken the person who was still frozen. And since I wasn't keen on pissing her off anytime soon, I circled the cryochamber until I found the door, with Firefall and Celestia following closely behind.
Once we found the door on the back side, Firefall pressed his hoof against it and it refused to budge. "Locked. I can't get in."
"You're not a human," I pointed out shortly, leaning over and pressing my left hand against the door. It beeped and slid open, revealing darkness. Almost automatically, it seemed, Firefall lit his horn and, like before, three orange balls of light floated in and stuck to the ceiling, banishing most of the darkness.
"Thanks again," I said absently, moving toward the cryopod in the center of the room. The cabinets on the right had clicked open already and hung ajar, revealing a few bags.
But that means...if those are open already, the person should be...
The cryopod beeped, and the top of it slid open, revealing a sleeping young woman with gray clothes, pale skin, and brown hair that had been cut short (which was expected; short hair was safer for cryofreezing).
"Is...the human...awake?" muttered Firefall, but I ignored him. At the sound of his voice, though, the woman's eyelids fluttered slightly and slowly opened.
"Okay," I muttered to myself. "Okay, just don't..."
I hadn't any idea what I'd been trying to tell myself, but the woman, not seeing us, muttered, "Who's there?"
I steeled myself, approached the cryopod, and leaned over slowly. "Hi," I said calmly, trying to not frighten her. "Who are you?"
"Katherine Franklin," she said quietly. "Who are you? What year's this supposed to be?"
I chewed my tongue for a second. "I'm Patrick Stanford Walker. I'm number eight, I guess...and the year is...I forget exactly, but it's about two million years later than 2016."
Katherine frowned and started to sit up. "What do you mean, you're number eight? How do you not know what year it is?"
I probably should have expected this line of questioning based on what I'd said, but I crossed my arms, a bit frustrated. "You know how those scientists said they'd been looking for smart people for that experiment, and you were good for it? You weren't the only one. There were eight others. I'm number eight. You're number three. As for the year, I only found out a few minutes ago, and then you were found."
Katherine's frown disappeared and was replaced by a confused expression. "Wait, what? What are...when were you born?"
"March twenty-first, 1996," I said. "Lady, I was put through the same experiment as you. I only found out you had too a few minutes ago."
"But...uh...okay. So, Patrick..." she said slowly, "can I talk to people who are actually from this...time period? Two million years?"
I internally winced. "Uh, right. About that. See, the thing is...we're the only two people around who are conscious. Probably in the whole world."
"What? That's ridiculous," Katherine scoffed. "If that's true, how did you wake up?"
"Well...my cryochamber was a bit faulty...and recognized some other species."
"What? What do you..."
She sat up fully and I stepped aside, revealing Firefall and Celestia. Both gave smiles--though Firefall's was a bit weak--and Firefall waved his hoof slightly and greeted her. "Uh...hello, Miss...Franklin, was it?"
To Katherine's credit, she didn't faint, but unsurprisingly, her jaw dropped and her mouth hung open. After nearly a full minute, she closed it and said, "Okay. Yeah. Okay. This is all just a big dream. I'm going to wake up any moment now, and I'm going to be in bed at home or in the lab. Because..."
"Yeah, no. This is real," I muttered, sighing heavily. "Yeah, denial isn't going to do anyone any favors. Just don't go hitting your head or anything."
"But...but...oh my god!" she suddenly shrieked. "What is this? What are those things? Why is it two million years in the future? It wasn't supposed to be past a thousand years!"
I recoiled, pressing my hands on my ears. "Shut up! Screaming doesn't do any good! Breathe, for Christ's sake! Relax! They won't hurt you!"
"Answer my questions first!"
"What's the magic word?" I prompted angrily, increasingly irritated.
"...Please answer my questions!"
I breathed steadily, trying to calm myself down. "Okay...okay. Those are...ponies."
"I think I know what ponies look like, Walker. Those aren't ponies," Katherine said, frowning.
"Yeah, that's what I thought," I said, "and that's what the other eight will think. They're ponies, but they're obviously special in that they can do magic, they talk, and they're at least as smart as humans."
"Magic? Now you're pulling my leg. What do you think this is, My Little Pony?"
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Firefall and Celestia exchange questioning glances. I pretended I hadn't seen it, and said, "This is real, not some dumb show you probably watched when you were five. If you don't want to believe it, I think we can just lock you back up and you can wait another two million years until cows are the new overlords or something."
"Look, I'm sorry, but I can't believe this. There must have been some kind of side effect. There's just no way..."
"Well, I'm sorry things didn't go as planned," I said dryly, not even trying to hide an eye roll. "The AI in my cryochamber just told us that it's over two million years from 2016, and I'm sure yours will say the same thing. I'm just guessing humans couldn't find us, or forgot about us, before they probably died."
Katherine leaned back and frowned, obviously thinking. I stepped back a bit and started to pace restlessly, hoping this wouldn't get more complicated than it needed to be. As I got close to Celestia and Firefall, Firefall leaned in and said in a low voice, "She's taking it better than you," smiling slightly.
I chuckled. "Yeah, I suppose so."
"Okay," said Katherine loudly, and we all looked at her. "I...think maybe...you know, okay. What are you going to do with me?"
"Katherine," said Celestia in a disarming manner, "we promise we won't harm you. This is what we will do for now, however: if you'll come with us, we'll set up a room in Canterlot Castle for you and let you get settled in. After that, I would like to speak to you in private."
Katherine pursed her lips. "Okay, but I don't know who you are. I don't know where I am. Sorry, but I don't even really know what you are, either."
"I'm Princess Celestia," said Celestia, "and I'm the ruler of Equestria. Firefall and I--" she gestured to Firefall as she said his name-- "are both ponies, as Patrick pointed out. And you're underneath Canterlot, the capital of Equestria."
"Like the Princess said, I'm Firefall Strider," said Firefall, "and...well, I've been assisting her with dealing with Patrick--because he's the only human we've ever seen. I suppose I'll be seeing you, too, since you're also a human."
"Okay. Okay." Katherine gingerly stepped out of the cryopod and landed on the floor with her bare feet. "Look, this is still really hard to believe. But I guess there's no real choice. I mean...I was expecting humans! Or something close to that!"
"To be fair, I'm a human," I pointed out, "and they might find a few more if we're lucky."
"Yes. Yes, you're a human. But still, you're not what I was expecting. You're from my time." Katherine shook her head slightly and moved over to the slightly opened cabinets, grabbing a couple of duffel bags and a backpack. "I'm still hoping I'll wake up from this..."
I glanced at Firefall and gave him what I hoped was an apologetic smile. He shrugged noncommittally and glanced at the doorway, starting to head that way.
"Yeah, I wouldn't be so hopeful," I told Katherine, starting to rock back and forth on my heels. "I mean, I've already been awake for a couple days..."
Katherine shrugged and wordlessly followed Firefall to the door, and I followed after. "Oh, and unless you like roller coasters, you've got a lot of climbing ahead of you..." I added.
And as we stepped out of the cryochamber and the magic light balls went out, I heard Katherine mutter almost inaudibly, "I don't, though..."
The unicorn's bright orange eyes scanned the unusually crowded desk and she licked her lips in anticipation.
Tempora Strider was doing something important. For once. At least, that's what many of her teachers would say.
A book lay open in the center, and some loose notes were scattered around it. In front of that lay a pencil that had broken in half the previous day.
Tempora glanced at the book and nodded slightly, smirking. She then shut her eyes and concentrated, feeling for the pencil, which began to glow orange.
In her head, she recited the technique, and as she frowned, she began to slowly twist the magic as the pencil bits moved closer together.
Almost...
The front door downstairs slammed, and Tempora immediately lost concentration, letting go of the pencil. Damn, I forgot! she thought, looking at the open doorway to the upstairs hall. I'll take a look at you later, she thought, glancing at the broken pencil before she slid off her chair and went into the hall.
"Oh, hello, Tem," said Firefall Strider, seeing her from downstairs. He smiled weakly. "I'll be in the kitchen..."
And as Tempora quickly trotted downstairs, he moved into the kitchen after shutting the front door behind him. She followed him and sat at the counter as he opened the refrigerator and levitated leftover pizza out.
"Soooo..." Tempora said, starting to grin, "how was your day? What'd you learn?"
Firefall didn't answer at first, but instead set the pizza on the counter and poured himself a glass of water. After taking a sip, he spoke. "There's another one."
"Another what?"
"Another human," Firefall said shortly. He sat himself up on his stool and leaned forward onto the counter. "And we found her today."
"Another one? I thought there was only one!"
"We all did, but..."
"How'd you find her?" Tempora asked, leaning forward.
"Well...Princess Celestia, Patrick, and I went back into the mine to get some information," Firefall said, "because he said there was a computer with information in that room...the cryochamber is what it's called...he was found in. So we went down there, and we found out, first of all, that he's two million years old."
"Two million?!" Tempora gasped. "That's even older than Princess Celestia! I mean, what even is that old?"
Firefall nodded. "So then after that, we found out that there were nine other humans that'd been put through the same experiment Patrick has--"
"Experiment?"
"Experiment, yes...actually, he hasn't told us everything about the 'experiment'," he realized. "I don't know if that's on purpose...or if he just forgot. Anyway, his cryochamber could detect two more humans. And then, at about that time, the miners found one of them."
Tempora whistled. "What'd you do, Fire?"
"What do you think? We went over there, the Princess finished digging it out, and then Patrick woke up the human inside. She's up at the castle right now."
"Wow." Tempora hummed as she looked toward the ceiling. "What do ya know about her?"
Firefall shrugged. "Well, she looks like she might be around Patrick's age...though she didn't say, and I can't use one human and base others off of him like that. She's from his time period, though...and she took the news better than he did about being around ponies...but she still thinks she's dreaming. Oh, and she's called Katherine Franklin."
"Huh...do Patrick and Katherine know each other?"
"I doubt it, honestly, the way they spoke to each other..."
"Huh." Tempora looked down at the counter and poked at a knothole in the wood. "So are ya gonna find any more of the humans? You said there's more."
"Well, I'm not," Firefall replied, "but I'm guessing they'll try. Patrick's cryochamber told us where another one was, so I'm guessing the Princess will send out a team to uncover it."
"Wait, it told you?" Tempora repeated. "It's not alive, is it?"
"No, Patrick said it's a computer," Firefall said, shaking his head. "Artificial intelligence, I believe he called it."
"So...it sounds alive, but isn't actually alive?"
"Essentially," Firefall said, staring at his glass of water. "Since it's a computer, it's obviously a lot more complex than just that, but I don't know a lot beyond what I've told you."
"Huh." Tempora stood and trotted over to the fridge, opening it and looking around inside. "So you said that arti-whatsits thing told you where another one of it was, right? Are you gonna go find it, Fire?"
"No, I've got to focus on Patrick and Katherine. They're the ones who are, well, conscious. Say, Tem, what are you looking for, anyway? The pizza is right here."
Tempora pulled her head away from the fridge and a smallish box floated out, encased in an orange aura. "Found it!" she cheered lightly to herself as it settled on the counter.
Firefall grimaced. "Is that fish again? You're the only unicorn I know who eats that."
"Thanks for reminding me of how special I am," grinned Tempora. "So anyway, if you're gonna be spending time with the humans, what are you gonna do with them? Play blackjack?"
"Celestia knows that's what you would do with them. No, I'm going to try to teach them Equestrian."
"I thought they spoke Equestrian," Tempora remarked, levitating the fish onto a plate. "Hey, will ya heat this up, please? You're better at it than me."
Firefall rolled his eyes and concentrated. The fish glowed orange and darkened, and was sufficiently heated after about five seconds. "There you go. No, they know how to speak it, but they have a different writing system. When Patrick and I met, I left him a note, and he said he couldn't read it. So I'm going to teach them to read and write. Princess Celestia actually suggested it, which leads me to believe that they'll someday be released into pony society."
"Oh, so then I'll be able to meet them!" Tempora said as she cut the fish up with her magic.
"Yes, but not before, and I'm not even sure that you will meet them. I mean, there's no guarantee they would even stay in Canterlot, or Equestria itself for that matter. Maybe they'll go to Griffonstone; they eat meat like griffons do."
"I can still visit," Tempora shrugged before chewing on a piece of fish.
Firefall turned completely in his seat and looked directly at his sister. "Tem, what's up with you? You seem obsessed with these humans ever since I first mentioned them. I've never seen you so invested in something like this; and you've got your project you're supposed to be working on!"
Tempora sighed and turned toward Firefall. "Okay...well, first off, I was working on my project before you got home...but okay. Well, the thing is, I still think it's really cool that there's something that smart that could have lived before ponies. I mean, from what you've told me, they don't have magic, but they got more advanced than us anyway! That's really very cool and it's gonna throw what ponies think of the world way out of hoof! I wanna know everything about them, and that's why I'm glad you're in this project so you can tell me these things!"
Firefall stared right back at her and cracked a small smile. "That makes sense, actually," he muttered. "If I wasn't afraid of exposing you, I'd almost ask the Princess if you could join in."
"Almost?"
"Yes, almost...I'm afraid that we need some degree of professionalism for this...professionalism which, I hate to say, you lack."
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Tempora chuckled and ate another bite of fish. "I mean, theresh no way I can do thish professionalishm," she continued through the fish, grinning as she did so. "Itsh sho haaard...and itsh booooring..."
"You're insane," Firefall laughed, slugging her in the shoulder.
"Damn shtraight I am!" Tempora giggled, punching him back.
"Heh, nopony doubts you on that." Firefall rubbed his shoulder slightly. "So how's your project coming along? It seems rather difficult, even taking into account your capabilities, but I don't know..."
"Oh, well..." The broken pencil appeared in an orange flash on the counter. "I was close to getting it back together when I heard the door slam. I think I got the theory down, but if this works I still gotta try bigger things...fixing a pencil won't impress anypony, but I gotta start small..."
The return to the castle and the rest of the day had been largely uneventful. Katherine hadn't said another word, and Firefall had dropped me off at my room with some lunch before leaving with Katherine. After I'd finished lunch, I had gone through my bags to jog my still-lacking memory on what I had brought.
I didn't even try to turn on my laptop or any electronics at first--there weren't any electric outlets anywhere anyway--so I settled on alternating between rereading Catch-22 and just laying back on my bed and letting my mind wander.
I did these things for almost all of the rest of my day, interrupted only by the need to relieve myself, dinner, shower, and eventually, bed. I still wasn't overly tired, however, and though I got more sleep than the previous night, I still found myself waking up at what I presumed to be early in the morning.
Again, I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't for whatever reason. I eventually just gave up, stood up, and dragged one of my bags into the bathroom so I could try to find something in the light.
"No...no...no..." I muttered to myself as I took things out and set them aside on the floor. "No, no...hmm..."
I grabbed my laptop and weighed it in my hand. I hadn't even tried to turn it on since I had come out of cryosleep because of the lack of electricity, but I shrugged to myself. "It doesn't work, I'm betting," I said as I nevertheless opened it and hit the power button.
And the laptop turned on. The laptop actually turned on. "What the fuck?" I muttered as it loaded. "Why...?"
Within a few seconds, the login screen popped up. I paused and logged in, and within a minute my home screen showed up. Everything was as I remembered, except there was (unsurprisingly) no Wi-Fi signal, but the battery icon seemed to show that the laptop was being charged right that instant. Even though it wasn't plugged in to anything.
"Jesus," I said, raising an eyebrow and testing out some of the applications. All the ones that didn't require Internet access worked as well as they had before, and I was able to get into all my files easily.
"Well then..." I said under my breath. "This happened..."
I couldn't help but wonder if the apparent ambient magic was somehow electric, though I couldn't draw any real conclusions since I had no idea how magic worked.
A thought entered my head and I searched through my bag for other electronics. As I'd thought, they worked--my digital watch, my smartphone, even my little Game Boy Advance, which seemed to perpetually have the charging light on.
I'll worry about it in the morning, I mentally decided. So I settled on reading again until morning; I was having a hard time trusting magic still, even if it could power my electronics.
I stacked a small pile of books on the floor, stood, and dragged my bag back into the main room. When I returned, I happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I paused. Then I stared.
Prior to cryosleep, I'd had my hair cut into a buzzcut because of possible safety issues. It was already growing back a bit, though, and what was more, it was significantly grayer than usual. It was especially concerning because first of all, I was twenty years old biologically, secondly, my hair was naturally black, and thirdly, my parents hadn't started getting gray hair until their mid-thirties, so this wasn't consistent with genetics.
"What the hell?" I muttered, running my hand through it. It felt no different than usual; it was just getting gray. "First the laptop and stuff, now this...?"
I leaned in and examined my hair from every angle I could, and while some black hair remained, there was no doubt that my hair had already gotten about a third of the way toward total grayness. "It could be magic," I said to myself as I squinted at it, "or maybe it's some weird side effect of the cryonics..."
I stepped back to consider it. If it was just a side effect of the cryonics, then maybe somehow I was aging faster, but that was unlikely as I had no wrinkles or other signs of aging beyond the gray hair and what was normal. If it was just gray hair, then I was fine with it; I didn't care what my hair looked like. If it was magic, on the other hand...what else was it going to do to me?
Either way, there was nothing I could do right now; it was the middle of the night and the bedroom door was locked. No way to contact anyone, even Katherine.
"Fuck it," I said, and I laid down on the floor, reading again.
I'd completely lost track of time by the time the door opened again and Firefall entered, seeing me in the exact same position as I was in the previous day. "Again?" he said with a hint of mirth in his voice.
"Again," I said simply, committing the page number I was on to memory and closing the book.
"Were you not able to sleep again?"
"Pretty much," I said, standing. "Hey, as a matter of fact...I just realized this last night." I pointed to my head. "Why is my hair getting gray?"
Firefall looked up at me. "I can't see very well from down here. Can you lower yourself down?"
I sat down, and he peered at my head. "It looks a bit grayer than it was yesterday, that's for certain," he said. "Why, what's the problem?"
"The problem?" I said incredulously. "The problem is that my hair's naturally black. I've never seen it get gray like this. If I'm genetically like my parents, which I definitely am, then my hair shouldn't start graying until I'm in my thirties."
"Oh; I assumed the gray color was natural."
"I wasn't born with gray hair," I reiterated. "No one that I know of is born with gray hair. I don't even think Holden Caulfield was born with gray hair."
"Plenty of ponies are born with gray hair," Firefall said. "Who's Holden Caulfield, though, a friend of yours?"
I snorted. "No, he's a character in a book I was forced to read for school back in the day. Anyway, humans are different from ponies. We usually have hair that's black, blond, brown, or red in rarer cases before it starts turning gray and white. My hair wasn't supposed to get gray for fifteen-ish more years at least."
Firefall frowned. "Odd..."
"Maybe it's the magic everywhere?" I suggested.
"Magic doesn't do that," he said immediately.
"I'm not magical," I pointed out.
"Good point...since you're such an anomaly, though--along with Katherine--I don't know what exactly is going on," he admitted.
I shrugged. "Eh. I'll bet the only thing to do is just wait and see, right?"
Firefall smiled wanly. "I suppose so; plus, we have something we've got to do today."
I stood up again. "Oh really?"
Firefall moved back into the main bedroom, head turned toward me as he did so. "Yes; Princess Celestia has suggested that you and Katherine...learn our alphabet so you can read and write our language."
"Oh, so where is Kath--" I said as I followed him, but then I noticed Katherine leaning against the wall by the main door, looking toward her feet and saying nothing. "Oh. Never mind."
She looked up, spotted me, and stepped over to me. "Hello, Patrick."
"...Hello," I said, surprised by her directness.
"I just want to apologize for my reaction yesterday when you revived me. I was surprised and stressed, but...I've met Princess Celestia, and we've figured things out."
"It's okay," I said, "I didn't exactly help things. It's kind of my fault too." I stuck out a hand and she shook it.
Katherine looked past me. "Firefall? We were going to be learning your alphabet?"
"Yes," he replied as I turned around. "You're going to need to read and write, as I said, and once you do, you can learn about Equestria more in depth through books so somepony doesn't have to tell you."
I whistled. I'd had to take Spanish in high school, and I wasn't exactly good at it. Then again, I didn't have to learn how to speak anything here. I already knew that.
"Are you...qualified?" Katherine asked.
Firefall grinned uneasily and he rubbed the back of his head. "Well, Princess Celestia believes so. I'm in my final year at her school, I've learned plenty about language, and when she asked me to help you, I believed I was ready. Besides, you're not children, which should make this go more easily since you'll pay attention better."
I shrugged. "Well, I guess it's something to do--something useful. Where do we start?"
"Well, first of all, we can sit down," said Firefall, sitting down. Once Katherine and I sat so we formed a triangle with some space in the center, he nodded. "Okay, good. Well, I think what we can start out with is if one of you--" he levitated a stack of paper and some pencils from...somewhere... "writes down your alphabet so I can have some kind of reference."
"Where'd you get that?" I asked, pointing to the paper and pencils.
Firefall said nothing but set the paper and pencils down in the space between the three of us. "Who will do it?"
Katherine and I glanced at each other briefly, and I mentally noted that her short hair already had flecks of gray. Deciding not to comment, I turned back, said, "I'll do it," and grabbed a pencil and a scrap of paper.
I could almost taste the awkwardness around me as I copied down the English alphabet's uppercase letters, trying my best to be neat considering my less-than-stellar average quality with handwriting. In a minute, I finished and showed it to Firefall.
The unicorn stared at it for a second. "Okay...you know, I think this will be easier than I thought it would be," he said as he grabbed another sheet of paper and the pencil in his magic and began to write.
"What makes you say that?" asked Katherine.
"First of all, your alphabet has...twenty-six letters, while ours has twenty-eight, so you don't have to learn a lot more letters than you might find comfortable. And secondly..."
He trailed off as he finished and slid the paper over to us. As we looked it over, I noticed that the letters seemed to not be so different. Most of them were extremely weird corruptions of the Latin alphabet I was used to, and the few that weren't seemed to stem more from East Asian characters, simplified as they were.
"Well. Okay then," I said, staring at the Equestrian alphabet. "I was hoping it wouldn't be so complicated...at least, this doesn't look too complicated..."
"It's not," Firefall assured. "It's phonetic, so if you can say the words, you shouldn't have a lot of trouble writing them. I doubt reading them will be too difficult, but then, Equestrian is my first language."
"Well, if it's phonetic, it already makes more sense than the English alphabet does," I observed, trying to commit the letters to memory. "The English alphabet is pretty much a clusterfuck."
"I don't think it's all bad," Katherine said, glancing up at me.
"Well, if nothing else, C, Q, and X don't need to exist," I debated. "K and S can cover each pronunciation of C, K and W together cover Q, and K and S together cover X."
"I suppose that is true," Katherine acknowledged, "but it's easier to write than something like Japanese."
"Well, I can't argue with that."
"All right then," Firefall said, and he pointed to the first letter. "Well, like I said, there shouldn't be too much trouble. This one is a vowel called..."
This is annoying and confusing was what was chiefly on my mind as I sat on my bed, a book in my hands and a sheet of paper beside me.
The paper had been written on by me; after I'd heard the sounds each Equestrian letter made, I wrote the paper connecting their sounds to those of the English alphabet. The book was one for small children--or foals as they were apparently called--and it was supposed to help teach me the Equestrian alphabet.
It wasn't exactly great that the book was called The Colt Who Cried Timberwolf, was a picture book, and was exactly the same as the human story The Boy Who Cried Wolf, only substituting the humans with hornless, wingless ponies--which I learned were called Earth ponies.
I stared at the pages and, mind wandering, ran my hand through my hair. I hope it'll be okay, I thought, before trying to decipher the page. Timberwolf...timberwolf...the...colt...cree--no, cried...oot---out...
I felt like a preschooler.
I looked up; Katherine was sitting on the floor in the corner, trying to decipher her own book, while Firefall had gone to get us breakfast. I hesitated, then set the book down, stepped into the bathroom, and locked the door. I jiggled the doorknob to test the lock and then turned to the mirror.
"Okay," I muttered to myself, eyes on my reflection's hair. "Let's see what's up..."
Examining the hair up close again reaffirmed what I'd thought: that it was natural. The roots of the gray hairs were also gray, so it didn't look like it had been dyed. Even a few of the black hairs' roots looked gray.
"What is wrong with me...ow!"
I winced and my hand flew to my forehead as I felt a headache begin to manifest. "Oh, great. Yeah, this is just great."
For a brief second, I considered punching the mirror, but instead I settled on turning the faucet on to cold and splashing my face with the water. Once I was done with that, I stepped back into the main room just in time to see Firefall come in, levitating two trays.
"I've brought your breakfast," he announced, levitating one tray to me and the other to Katherine.
"Thanks," I said shortly, grabbing it out of the air and sitting down on the bed. I winced as my headache flared up, and muttered, "Oh god, my head..."
"Are you okay?" came Firefall's voice.
Am I okay. Am. I. Okay...
Something broke.
"No! Your magic is changing me!" I burst out, glaring up at him. "Your fucking magic is turning my hair gray, it's somehow powering my electronics, and I bet it's messing with my head too and keeping the sleep away! Just what the hell is this, anyway?"
"Not so loud, please," muttered Katherine from across the room.
"And I'll bet it's the cause of my headache--I mean our headaches, 'cause Katherine has one now too!" I continued. "Hey, Katherine! Hate to break it to you, but your hair's gonna turn gray and you might have weird thoughts because magic hates us now!"
"W-what?" Katherine groaned. "Patrick, please...tell me later..."
An expression of concern crossed Firefall's face. "Um...magic...Katherine, do you mind if I bring you back to your room?"
Katherine slowly stood. "Good idea," she said, rubbing her forehead. "Bye..."
Before they left, Firefall briefly looked at me. "I'll try and fix this as soon as possible, Patrick," he said in a low tone of voice, trying not to disturb my headache, "but for right now, I'll let you alone so you can sleep in peace--you should probably try that to rid yourself of your headache."
I looked down at my tray and took a few huge gulps from my glass of water, shaking my head to bring myself back to sanity. "Thanks," I said quietly. "Sorry for blowing up at you, too."
"Apology accepted," he said. "I'll see you later."
And I was left sitting alone on a bed with an uneaten breakfast, a steadily increasing headache, and books for foals.
I was not accustomed to magic. Now that I had been directly exposed to it, it was seeping into my body, causing all sorts of troubles, and possibly killing me. Not helping was the fact that I didn't know what it was made of, and it didn't seem like the few ponies I'd met had any real answer other than "it's magic, that's all I can tell you".
Even if the ponies knew exactly what magic was and how it was affecting me, I seriously doubted they could do anything about it. Firefall and Celestia, being unicorns (well, Celestia was a winged unicorn), literally radiated magic, and as magic was apparently found in rocks, of all things, there was nowhere I could go to be free of magic. Unless I went back in time, which was impossible, or in outer space, which was probably impossible given the state of these ponies' technology and their belief in geocentrism.
Despite all of this, I sat on my bed, trying again to learn the Equestrian alphabet despite the fact that I might not be able to use the knowledge. I was doing this after my nap, of course; it had refreshed me at least a little bit. My head didn't feel like it was being crushed and I wasn't about to vomit.
Also, I could find a little bit of optimism in that I was starting to get the hang of the Equestrian alphabet, though I still had a ways to go before I could read it as readily as I could read English.
The door opened a crack and Firefall's head poked through. "Patrick, are you doing all right?" he asked quietly.
"Better than I was a few hours ago...however long ago that was," I responded, glancing up at the unicorn. "I don't have any cleaning supplies, though."
"Why do you need cleaning supplies?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"...Well, shortly after you left, my stomach decided it wasn't very happy..." I said, internally wincing, "and pony toilets are totally different from what I'm used to."
Firefall turned slightly more green than his usual color and his mouth twisted into a grimace. "Uh...don't worry about it. I'll clean it up," he said, sidling into the room and trotting off to the bathroom.
"Ugh...sorry about it," I apologized. "I did make it eventually, though..."
He disappeared into the bathroom, and seconds later, a flash of orange light filled the bathroom. I winced and a hand flew to my forehead as I felt my headache return for a second. "Ow!"
He emerged from the bathroom. "Are you all right?"
"Well, I'm not dead, so that's already a plus," I said dryly, looking back at my books and notes. "It'd be nice, though, if you tried to not use magic around me too much--but thanks for cleaning up in there anyway."
"You're welcome," Firefall said, "and sorry for the magic usage."
"It's fine," I said, my nose buried in my books and notes again.
There was an awkward silence, and I felt a slight prickling in my forehead. Damn it, I cursed inwardly without making a visible sign of discomfort.
"Uh, how is your alphabet learning progressing?" Firefall asked eventually.
"Fine," I said simply. After a few more seconds of silence, I added, "It's not like I can read Equestrian instantly, but I'm getting there."
"Well, that's good," Firefall said, trotting up to me and glancing at the book. "How many have you read through so far?"
"This is my third."
There was yet another pause as I continued reading despite my slight headache already returning. Again, Firefall broke it. "Okay," he said, pointing to a line, "what does this say?"
I quickly consulted my notes and looked at the line. "'Or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down'?" I said, reflexively phrasing it like a question in case I was wrong.
"That's good!" Firefall congratulated, grinning slightly. "How long have you been doing this?"
I shrugged. "I dunno. A few hours, maybe? Hard to say when you don't have the time."
"I think it's close to five thirty," he said. "I'm surprised you're picking this up so quickly."
"When you don't have to learn to speak anything, cool..."
There was another silence, and I mentally reflected on how often that seemed to be happening. It's not like we know each other that well, but I know him better than I know anyone else who's alive...
"So how's Katherine doing?" I asked eventually.
"Fine, last I saw," Firefall said, frowning slightly. "She had a headache too, but she also decided to sleep it off."
"Hm." I turned a page idly. "So what's the prognosis?"
"Prognosis...?"
"Yeah. Do you know exactly what'll happen to me and Katherine--er, I mean, Katherine and I...?"
Firefall suddenly looked very uncomfortable as I looked at him. He shifted his hat to scratch his hair--or rather, mane. "Uh...I...how..."
"Come on. Be honest, okay?" I prodded, none too gently. "I don't care how brutal it is, I'm pretty sure I can take it."
"I don't know," he said flatly. "I don't know what the magic is doing and I don't know how to stop or reverse it."
I stared at him for a second, then glanced back at my books and notes. "Well, there's one way to deal with it. Just put me out in the wild somewhere and forget about me, that way you can go back to your normal life and I can die without causing you peo--ponies any fuss."
Firefall recoiled--actually stepped back--and winced. "What, you want to be left in the wild? What is wrong with you?!"
I raised an eyebrow at his reaction. "I was trying to joke, but maybe my delivery's off..."
"Why...why would you joke about something like that?"
"Humor can be a defense mechanism," I said, closing my books. "It makes the idea that I might be friggin' dying easier to deal with."
He stared at me for a few moments before mouthing something that I didn't catch. Then he said, "Well, anyway...I'm sorry, but I don't know what to do. If I try to use magic on you, that will probably just accelerate...whatever's happening to you. All I can think to do right now is wait and see what happens."
I sucked in a breath. Well, that didn't sound good. "Well, should I write out a will? I'll try to do it in Equestrian..."
"A will...? You mean a last will and testament?"
"Yeah. Actually, forget it. That was an even worse try at a joke." I flicked open one of the books again and started flipping through it without looking directly at it. "I guess all I can do now is keep trying to learn...it's more useful than reading something else."
Firefall simply nodded and stood up. "I should leave," he said as he moved toward the door, "and I'm guessing that if I stay around too long, you might absorb more magic than is healthy."
"I think I've already absorbed more magic than is healthy," I pointed out, rubbing my head.
"Yes, but even so...I believe you might get too much direct exposure to it," Firefall explained, "and that would speed up whatever is happening."
I shrugged and looked down at my open book. "Okay. See ya."
"Goodbye," he said, and as he stepped out through the doorway, he added, "and later, I'll bring you another meal."
"Thanks," I said, but he was already gone. I stared at the now-shut door for a few seconds, then at the books and notes on my bed, then towards the bathroom.
I suppose I should know what might have changed by now, I thought as I pushed myself off the bed and stepped into the bathroom. After a glance at the newly-cleaned toilet area, I stared into the mirror. Another stab of pain shot through my head for a split second and my hand went to my forehead.
...Well...I suppose it isn't that different yet...time will probably tell, though.
--the following are a series of papers left on the bedside table in the temporary room of the human Patrick Stanford Walker, written in Equestrian and with a decreasingly choppy quality--
Day Four, Morning:
Symptoms: -Slight headache, but nothing more than a prickle as of yet. -Hair still slowly turning gray and growing slightly. Other than that, physically unchanged (i.e., it's still the same texture). Stubble starting to come in, but hard to tell what color it is or if it's any different from when I usually get stubble.
Further Comments: Considering what the magic has put me through so far, I don't know whether the symptoms will worsen or lessen as time goes on. Either I become completely acclimated to magic, albeit perhaps with gray hair, or it just worsens until it kills me. I have found out that magic usage around me worsens the symptoms almost instantly, and hopefully Firefall Strider will remember to address that (as well as Princess Celestia or any other unicorn that may visit).
Day Four, Evening:
Symptoms: -Full-on migraine. Hard to concentrate. Will sleep as soon as I'm finished with this report. -No immediately visible change in hair from this morning. -Vomited once. -Skin seems slightly more pale.
Further Comments: At least I can deal with this...so far. Firefall Strider hasn't found a solution yet, but I obviously hope he does.
Day Five, Morning:
Symptoms: -Nausea -Slightly grayer hair than yesterday
Further Comments: Nothing too bad...all in all, a bit worse than yesterday morning. By tomorrow morning I'll have a better idea if this will get worse or better over time, but considering I didn't have these symptoms when first revived, I'm betting on the former. On the bright side, my mind seems fine enough if I can write in Equestrian, albeit while checking notes (though I've had to check less and less).
Further Comments: It's getting worse. But as I've nothing to do, I've been learning the Equestrian alphabet almost all the time I've got, and I'm picking it up pretty well according to Firefall Strider. Surprisingly. The fact remains that I'm getting sicker and that Firefall still hasn't figured out what to do--but I can't blame him.
Further Comments: As I figured last night...it's definitely getting worse. I've never woken up with a migraine before and I feel slightly weaker. Oh, god damn it, I can't write right now.
Day Six, Evening:
Symptoms: -Migraine -Weakness -Fatigue
Further Comments: I took a nap this morning after I discovered my headache and wrote my note for that day, and when I woke up, it had gone. By now it's returned with a vengeance, probably worse. It's evening, yes, but I'm more tired than I think I've ever been at this hour. Maybe if this magic is killing me, I'll be lucky and die in my sleep.
Day Seven, Morning:
Symptoms: -Migraine--may be worse than last night -Greater weakness -Greater fatigue -Gray hair nearly completely overtaken black hair
Further Comments:
Might as well just write out my will. Maybe. I might get lucky, though, who kno
One definition of acceptance, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is: "agreement with or belief in an idea or explanation". Acceptance is a natural part of human thinking and, coincidentally enough, is also natural with ponies and other sapient beings. It happens all the time among them.
But what if it goes too far? What if acceptance is taken to its extreme? What if a being--a sapient being--is too accepting of what he or she discovers? What then?
He was immersed in darkness. There was nothing but the dark around him, but that was okay. The dark was warm. Comforting. Reassuring. He felt like he was slowly sinking into softness, covered on all sides by it.
Simply stated, it felt good.
He felt a breeze cascade softly across him and his body jerked. He knew he was going to rouse, but he didn't want to. He was comfortable. Why would he ever want to get up? It made no sense. If he was comfortable, why leave the comfort?
Logic won out, however. He couldn't stay there forever. He didn't even know for sure where he was, or even if he was in a bed.
So he opened his eyes slowly, wishing he could go back to sleep, and to his surprise, he noticed he was lying on his back on what felt like grass, gazing up at the clear, starry night sky. Another breeze blew over him and he sighed in contentment. That felt good.
This was still nice...but how did he get there? What was the last thing he remembered?
He cast his mind backwards, trying to find something he could work with. My name is Walker, he eventually found. Something Walker...
That was the most substantial memory he could come up with. His name was Walker. Something Walker. I think...my first name, though...huh.
At least Walker knew his name...or part of it, anyway; his last name was fine. But what was he doing in...wherever he was?
He slowly sat up and looked around. Walker was in a city park, by the looks of things. He was lying in the middle of some grass, surrounded by trees. To his left, beyond the park, he could see the side of an enormous white castle with ivory towers and golden-colored spires that would probably gleam in sunlight, judging on the pure whiteness. To his right, he could see a street, lined with smaller, equally white buildings. The street was deserted and the lampposts had been lit.
I'm in Canterlot, Walker concluded. It didn't occur to him that he might be wrong, for he knew he was right. More, it also didn't occur to him that it was odd how he knew that.
He spotted a brown saddlebag lying on the ground a couple of feet from him. The buckle was oddly distinctive--it had a gray storm cloud, except the cloud was shaped like some kind of winding pathway going into the distance. For some reason, he got the feeling it belonged to him, but it had no words, letters, numbers, or other markings on it. Maybe it has something to do with the buckle, he thought.
Walker stretched out to grab it and noticed vaguely that he was reaching with an extremely light blue-gray leg that ended in a hoof. He mentally shrugged and accepted it without a second thought and grabbed at the bag, hooking the end of his hoof around a strap and dragging the bag to him. He undid the buckle of one side and opened it.
Inside were a mass of gold coins that were labeled in different denominations, including one-halves, ones, twos, fives, tens, twenties, and a few fifties. He turned the bag around and checked the other pocket, which had nothing but papers. He reached in and grabbed one at random, studying it.
After a moment, Walker caught on to the fact that it was apparently a birth certificate. His birth certificate. The name Storm Walker was in the name spot. Apparently, he was born in some place called Cloudsdale to two pegasi known as Storm Chaser and Cool Breeze on the first of Spring, 955 Celestial Era.
That sounds about right. Why wouldn't it be? This seems official and everything. I mean, whose else could it be?
That meant that the bag was his. If he was Storm Walker, and the bag had a birth certificate with his name in, it was probable that this was his bag.
Walker replaced the birth certificate and found a pair of maps--one for Canterlot, with the roads, restaurants, and other landmarks labeled, and the other for Equestria, with all towns and rail lines clearly marked. He nodded to himself and put them back in, retrieving the final piece of paper.
Recommended: -Residence: 63 Dusk Street -Work: 29 Fields Road--Weather Control
...Well, that...doesn't say much, he reflected, flipping the paper over to see if there was more on the other side, which there wasn't. Well then. Don't know exactly what time it is, but I doubt these places are...open...
Walker dug the Canterlot map out of the bag again and looked up the places on it. 63 Dusk Street, judging by its size, looked like an apartment building, while 29 Fields Road looked positively tiny.
His eyes flicked back to the "recommended" paper. Weather control? he thought. So I'm a...
Walker looked down to his sides and saw a pair of wings folded up against his barrel. Oh, of course. I'm a pegasus. Makes sense, considering I was born in Cloudsdale... He experimentally tried flexing the wings and found they responded well to his command. Oh, well that's cool. I wonder what time it is.
He looked up into the sky and, in what the direction he assumed was east, he could see it starting to become light already, though he couldn't see the sun. So it's close to dawn...
Even if it was close to dawn, he decided, it would probably be a good idea to walk around Canterlot to get a feel for the place and remember his way around. He had a feeling he might be living here now. After all, the "recommended" paper did recommend he go to the apartment complex at 63 Dusk Street to live.
And why wouldn't he trust it? It seemed a bit stupid not to trust it.
Walker shrugged, stood up on all four hooves, and tucked away his papers. He then slung the bag onto his back, adjusted his wings, and then, with little effort, trotted out of the park and onto the street at a slow pace.
If he had had more presence of mind, he would have noticed how disturbing it was that he was accepting everything so easily. But he never gave it a first thought, let alone a second thought.
It wasn't often that Tempora Strider was up before dawn. Normally, if somepony had suggested that she would be, she would have laughed like a madmare for at least a couple of minutes before wiping the tears of mirth from her eyes and saying something along the lines of "That's a good one! Me up before dawn?" before bursting into another fit of laughter.
But a screwed-up sleep schedule led her to be sitting in the kitchen and slowly eating cereal before the crack of dawn. And she was only slightly tired, fortunately.
Tempora idly stirred her spoon in the milk, watching the little pieces of cereal chase each other around in the cool liquid. She sighed, nudged a few of them onto her spoon with a touch of magic, and brought the spoon up to her muzzle.
A clopping of hooves sounded from the hallway and a half-asleep Firefall stepped into the kitchen. He shielded his eyes from the unexpected light and said drowsily, "Tem, what the hay are you doing up? It's four in the morning."
Tempora dropped her spoon and turned to regard her brother. "What? What am I doing? I was tired and had a nap yesterday afternoon...and evening...and this is when I woke up. What are you doing up?"
Firefall dragged himself to the refrigerator and opened it. "I couldn't sleep," he remarked simply, suppressing a yawn.
"Oh; well, that sucks," Tempora said, stirring her cereal again without thinking about it. "So how's your human project going? Have you figured out how to fix Patrick?"
Firefall did a double take, staring for a few seconds. "What are you talking about?"
"The--the human," Tempora said, blinking owlishly. "The human! Patrick something--no, Patrick Stanford Walker, yeah, that was his name! You were supposed to look after him or something for your project! And there was another one, too, Katherine something!"
Firefall huffed and turned back to the fridge. "Tem, I honestly have no idea what you're on about," he said as a jug of orange juice floated out and landed on the counter.
"We were talking about it just the other day!" protested Tempora.
"Maybe it was somepony else you're thinking of," Firefall said indifferently as he turned and opened a cabinet to get a glass.
Tempora frowned heavily and reached out with her magic, grabbing Firefall's body in her magic.
"What are you doing?" he protested as she lifted him an inch off the floor and turned him to face her.
"Okay, Firefall," she said through gritted teeth, "say that again...say that with a straight face."
"I have no idea what you're talking about when you mention these 'humans'," Firefall said with possibly the straightest face Tempora had ever seen on him. "Now let me go."
"Ugh!" Tempora scowled, throwing up her hooves and narrowly missing her cereal as she let him go. "What the hay, Fire? You never forget stuff like that, and I know I was talking to you about it! What, did you hit your head or something yesterday? I mean, anything coulda happened! I was asleep when you came home yesterday!"
A look of concern passed over Firefall's face. "Tem, are you okay?"
"I'm just peachy." Tempora jabbed a hoof in her brother's direction. "No, the question's 'are you okay', 'cause you never forget something like this. I've known you all my life, Firefall Strider, and I bet there's something wrong if you can't remember a project you spent the last few days on."
"I didn't spend the last few days on a human project," Firefall insisted. "I'm going to try to make some kind of fire that's safer to handle. That's what I'm working on."
Tempora stared for a long, long moment, then turned back to her cereal. "Sure, whatever," she said softly, rolling her eyes. She looked down at the last few bits of cereal in her bowl and her gaze hardened. Using her magic, she picked the pieces out of the milk, hovered them in the air briefly, and then inserted them directly into her mouth. Once she'd swallowed them, she levitated the bowl up to her muzzle, chugged the milk from it in seconds, and then levitated it into the sink, trying to finish as quickly as possible.
"Tempora, are you sure you're all right?" Firefall reiterated, looking at her concernedly.
Tempora hopped off of her stool. "Yes, I'm fine," she said, glancing briefly up at him with a careful neutral expression. Without another word, she turned, teal tail swishing carelessly, and left the kitchen to return upstairs.
Something's up with him, she thought to herself as she adjusted her hat, a look of determination passing over her face, and by Celestia, I'm going to figure out what it is.
Tempora Strider exhaled sharply as she glanced at the clock. Seven fifty. It's time.
Her eyes roved around her messy bedroom, and she levitated some paper and pencils into her saddlebags before levitating it onto her back. Satisfied, she stepped out of the room and trotted down the stairs, heading for the front door. As she approached it, she began to reach out with her magic.
"Tem? Where are you going?"
Startled, Tempora looked behind her to see Firefall standing there with tired, yet curious eyes. "What?" she asked defensively.
"Where are you going?" repeated Firefall, frowning. "Today's Saturday."
"I know," Tempora said, glancing back at the door. "Yeah, I know. I'm heading to the library. Got some...stuff to be working on. You know, that project."
Firefall's frown deepened. "The library? You never go to the library on weekends. At least, you never go there to study."
"Well, I guess I am now," Tempora said. "I, uh, got behind. I gotta work on it today, just to make sure I'm up to speed."
Firefall looked unconvinced. "Your spell looked fine when you showed it to me," he said simply, "and there's still more than enough time before we have to present."
"Yeah, well...you can't be too sure, can ya?" Tempora said rhetorically, magically opening the door. "Look, I wanna make sure it'll all work out, and maybe see if I can improve it. I'll be back...maybe...I dunno, 'round three at the earliest. See ya!"
Before Firefall could protest, the mare had already stepped outside and shut the door behind her. She turned, blinking in the early sunlight, and trotted onto the street in the direction of the library.
Fire, you're gonna thank me for this later, she thought as she adjusted her hat.
It took close to ten minutes to find the Canterlot Public Library--just in time for opening. As somepony flipped the sign on the front door from CLOSED to OPEN, Tempora slipped inside and immediately went for the shelves, searching intently.
General magic's over here, I'm pretty sure, she thought, frowning. Yeah, I know that. Is there anything on mind magic, though...? There's gotta be. Just because it's really complicated...almost nopony uses it...and in some cases, it's illegal too...
She paused as a book caught her eye and she looked at it silently. The Mindscape: An Overview of the General Workings of the Mind was displayed on the spine. Looks good, she thought, levitating it off the shelf and holding it behind her in her magic as she continued to search the shelves.
I hope I can help him out...
I can't remember how to fly.
If I can't fly, I can't control the weather.
If I can't control the weather, I can't get that job.
Therefore, I have to learn how to fly.
Walker rubbed his head with a forehoof as he walked between the bookshelves, his eyes roving along the shelves for a suitable book.
The library seems like a good enough place to at least start.
The Canterlot Public Library was one of the larger buildings on Walker's map--excluding, of course, Canterlot Castle--and it gave the pegasus some hope, even if it was the only public library in the city. It was even better in that it was clean, quiet, and well-organized.
That's how libraries are supposed to be, right?
Even if Walker's memory of before that morning was lacking, he recognized that he needed to figure out how to fly. At the very least.
Who even wrote out that "recommended" sheet? he thought to himself, his eyes lingering on Pegasus Aerodynamics. He reached out and carefully slid it off the shelf. Whoever wrote it probably wasn't thinking clearly.
Walker held the book under his wing and continued searching the shelves. At least it wasn't hard getting an apartment...plus, it's pretty decent...I think. What's the standard?
He shook his head and banished the distracting thought from his mind, looking back at the shelves. Okay... Preening for Pegasi, huh? Seems pretty important...
It took around seven minutes to scour the shelves for relevant books--luckily, they were mostly concentrated in one area. He smiled to himself and balanced the books on his back, slightly extending his wings to make sure they didn't fall off. As the main part of the library was in a circular shape, it was easy to get back to the study area, which was a large circle of desks in the center of the library.
Within a minute, Walker made it back, carefully deposited his books on a vacant desk, and sat down in the chair behind it. As he took the topmost book out of the stack, he happened to look up at the rest of the library.
A few desks away, a deep blue pony wearing a black wizard hat was looking toward him. Walker accidentally met the pony's gaze, and the pony immediately looked down at a book on her desk, face reddening slightly.
Eh, Walker thought simply, and opened the book in front of him--Pegasus Anatomy, his eyes running over the text. I mean, I am new around here...I think...
After hours of research, Tempora was about ready to scream. And had she been at home, she may have done so.
But librarians and library patrons didn't like it when somepony screamed.
Regardless, thoughts such as Oh Celestia, this is so bucking frustrating and Why is there almost nothing on this kept floating through her head. She'd been through at least a dozen books with little information. And she had been at the library for...
Tempora checked the watch she kept strapped to her fetlock. Five o'clock?! What the hay? I've been here for nine hours?
She looked up and scratched her chin. Why didn't I think to use that bucking spell...? she thought as her stomach growled, reminding her that she hadn't had a meal since the wee hours of the morning.
Inwardly cursing, she levitated most of her books and put them back on a cart for re-shelving. Glancing once more at her watch, Tempora practically dashed back to the shelves to do a last check for books she might have missed. A couple caught her eye and she yanked them off the shelves at a speed close to that of a Wonderbolt before trotting back to her desk and grabbing the remaining few books she had found and liked in her magic.
I may be trying to help him, but I hope he isn't too worried, Tempora thought, frowning as she headed for the checkout desk.
Somepony tapped her on the side softly but suddenly. "Uh, excuse me...ma'am..."
Startled, Tempora whirled around to see a light blue-gray pegasus stallion with a black mane, balancing a heavy-looking pile of books on his back with extra support from his wings. At her sudden movement, he stepped back slightly, wincing. "Never mind..."
"Shh!" came a chorus of voices from the few remaining library patrons.
Both Tempora and the stallion blushed slightly. "No, sorry," the unicorn whispered, leaning in a bit more closely. "Didn't mean to do that. What is it?"
The pegasus relaxed slightly. "Oh, uh...I'm new around here, and...how do you get a library card?"
"Oh, that's easy." Tempora pointed to the checkout desk, still keeping her voice down. "Just go over there, like you'd check out a book, then tell them you want a library card. They're gonna want your name and some kinda proof you live in Canterlot, but that's it."
"Okay," the pegasus whispered, smiling slightly. "Thanks, ma'am."
"Sure thing. Just don't call me ma'am, 'kay?"
The pegasus' smile grew. "Yes...sir."
Tempora snorted and stuck her tongue out at him. "Oh, whatever." She gestured to the checkout desk. "Uh, stallions first."
He raised an eyebrow but smiled again anyway. "Thanks."
Tempora stared after him as he approached the checkout desk. Huh...wasn't he the guy who came in here at like nine or something and has been here all day?
Huh... Walker thought as he stepped outside, wasn't that wizard unicorn the one who's been here all day?
He paused, blinking in the light of the setting sun, and shrugged. Eh. At least it's all going fine, I guess. He looked down at his saddlebags, full with newly checked-out books. And these should probably help me, too.
As he stared trotting down the steps of the library, Walker noticed the ache in his stomach and remembered that he hadn't eaten anything since...well, he couldn't even remember the last time he had eaten.
I suppose I'd better eat something somewhere.
He paused to dig his map out of his saddlebags to find a market or restaurant. As he came up with the map, he noticed the wizard hat-wearing unicorn from earlier dash past him. She paused and said, "Oh, Celestia, how did I forget?" before winking out of existence in a flash of bright orange light, accompanied by a soft bang.
Walker stared for a second, but shrugged. I'm sure it's nothing bad or anything. He took a long look at the map. Well, I'm betting the market won't be open now...even if it's close by. But there's this "Restaurant Row"...since the rent isn't exactly cheap, I bet this'll burn a hole through my bag...but I'll find something there. It's not too far away, either.
He looked between the map and the streets. Okay then...this way...
Tempora breathed heavily as the orange light faded and she appeared in her bedroom. Wasting no time, she tossed her saddlebag on her bed and teleported directly to the kitchen.
As she appeared directly in front of the refrigerator, she could hear a jolt of surprise from the next room over. "Tempora, is that you?" cried out Firefall's voice in surprise.
"Yeah, it's me," said Tempora distractedly, wasting no time in levitating food out of the fridge and setting them on the counter.
There was a clopping of hooves against the wooden floor, and Tempora turned to see her brother standing there with a newspaper held in his magic and an annoyed yet concerned look in his eyes. "Where have you been?"
"Out," said Tempora simply, digging through the fridge. "We got any peanut butter?"
"You took it out already," pointed out Firefall, gesturing to the now-crowded counter.
Tempora blushed. "Whoops-a-daisy," she muttered, closing the fridge.
Firefall's frown deepened. "Where have you been?" he repeated stonily.
"Out. At the library," explained Tempora, scanning the countertop. "Why'd I take all this out? I just need jam...and bread..."
"You're making yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner?" Firefall asked, shaking his head.
"No, I'm making...I dunno, half a dozen?" Tempora shrugged as she set the bread, peanut butter, and jam together and crammed everything else back into the fridge. "I sort of...forgot to have lunch this afternoon..."
"You forgot to have lunch," Firefall deadpanned as he watched his sister begin to slap together shoddy-looking sandwiches.
"Yeah, that's pretty much what happened," Tempora said, already making her second sandwich.
With a crinkling of paper, Firefall slammed his newspaper onto an empty part of the counter. "Tempora. You were at the library all day on a Saturday. You forgot...to have lunch. And it seems as if you've been evading my questions slightly the few times I have seen you today. What. Is. The. Problem?"
Tempora scowled, accidentally cutting into a slice of bread with the knife she was using to spread the peanut butter and jam. "I asked you about your human project, and you said you 'didn't remember'. You told me super seriously that you really didn't remember, and since I've known you since we were born, I can tell it's not total horseapples. So something's wrong in your head. Ya got it?"
"Tempora. Listen to me," Firefall said sternly enough that Tempora paused and looked at him. "There is nothing wrong. I clearly remember what I've been doing the last few days, and I can assure you that it has nothing to do with humans. You're mistaken."
Tempora stared into her brother's eyes for a second, then huffed and continued making her sandwiches. "Yeah, sure. You're gonna be eating your words soon enough, I promise."
Firefall's expression softened slightly. "Tempora, are you sure you aren't thinking of somepony else?"
"Ugh!" growled Tempora, eyes flashing. With gritted teeth, she pitched the knife into the sink, grabbed the stack of sandwiches in her magic, and teleported directly to her bedroom. She slammed the plate onto her desk, levitated a sandwich to her muzzle, and took a messy bite.
Celestia, you're impossible, she thought as she licked a stray smear of jam from the corner of her mouth. But I swear I'm gonna help you somehow...
Firefall Strider stared at the spot where his sister had teleported from, the leftover jam, peanut butter, and bread still sitting on the counter.
What is wrong with that mare? he thought as he slowly opened the fridge and began putting the food back. She's never been this upset...or this tense...
He paused as a thought occurred to him, bread still hovering in the air. Could she actually be right? It seems odd, but...perhaps she's right and I have forgotten something somehow...
He shook his head and knocked himself lightly on the head with a forehoof as he set the bread in the fridge. Oh, get a grip, Firefall. What are you thinking?
How about...in perhaps two hours, I'll go and try to talk with her again calmly. Perhaps then she'll listen to reason.
Firefall Strider sighed and leaned against the wall. I didn't mean to upset her...but still...
The door opened and Tempora poked her head out. "What?" she asked in a dull voice.
Firefall straightened himself up. "Tempora, can we talk?"
"Are you going to insist that you're right and I'm wrong?"
Firefall paused, which he quickly discovered was an unwise move.
"Yeah, you are," Tempora concluded, moving to close the door again.
"Tempora, will you listen to me?!" Firefall half-shouted, his patience wearing thin.
"Well, you won't listen to me, so why should I listen to you?" shot back Tempora angrily. She sighed and rubbed her head. "Oh, forget it. I need a bucking drink. I'm going to the pub."
"Wh-what? To the pub?" Firefall stepped into the middle of the hallway, trying to block his sister's path. "Wait. Not so fast. Listen."
Tempora growled and teleported to just behind him. Without looking back, she trotted down the stairs.
Firefall sighed and followed. "If you're going to go get drunk, I'm going with you."
"You are not."
"Yes, I am. Somepony needs to keep an eye on you."
"Fine, whatever. Just don't get in my way, got it?"
Without waiting for an answer, she opened the front door, stepped outside, and slammed it behind her.
Firefall face hoofed and let his hoof trail down his face. Oh Celestia...
Well, at least that tasted all right.
Walker sat, resting his head on a table, right next to a couple of dirty plates. His eyes traveled around the half-empty pub, eventually resting on the bar, where a couple of ponies were sitting.
Eh. Should I go there, or just back to my empty, empty apartment...?
The waitress arrived at his table and he paid for his meal, which had been something called a "hayburger". Cheaper than I thought it'd be, he thought as he stood, swinging his saddlebag onto his back. His eyes flicked back and forth between the exit and the bar, and he sighed, heading to the exit.
He was about a couple of meters from the door before, at the last second, he swung around and took a seat on a stool at the very end of the bar. Eh. I really don't have anything better to do right now...
The bartender--a unicorn mare with a brownish-gold coat--caught his eye and stepped over. "What can I get you?"
"Uh..." Walker frowned in thought. "Do you have any recommendations?"
The bartender blinked at his vague request, but answered anyway. "Well, I dunno...one of my personal favorites is the hard cider, but that's just my opinion."
Walker shrugged and let his saddlebag settle on the floor. "Sure, okay, that works."
"Coming right up," said the bartender, flashing a quick smile and moving to prepare the beverage.
As she moved away, Walker leaned onto the bar, his eyes defocusing. Okay then...going to enjoy the wonders of alcohol...yippie yay.
The front door suddenly glowed orange and opened. A slightly disgruntled-looking unicorn mare wearing a black wizard hat strode inside, letting the door swing shut, only to be pushed open again by a unicorn stallion wearing another black wizard hat. The stallion scowled slightly and moved to a table in the back, and the mare looked indifferent to his annoyance.
Walker watched, eyebrow raised, as the mare strode to his seat in the bar. She looked at him and said dully, "You're in my seat."
He blinked. "Uh, what? I was already sitting here. I don't see your name on it."
The mare sighed. "Oh, never mind." She climbed up on the stool next to him. "It's not important, anyway; I just sit there every time I come here."
"Okay." Walker frowned, looking at her closely. "Hey, weren't you the one who was at the library all day today?"
The mare blinked and looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. "Oh, yeah, that's right!" She stuck out a hoof. "I'm Tempora Strider, but Tempora's good enough."
Walker found himself grinning slightly as he held out his own hoof and they bumped hooves. "I'm Storm Walker, but Walker's good enough...sir."
Tempora gave a snort of laughter. "Oh, you're hilarious," she said dryly, but while smirking.
"I try." Walker grinned, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw the bartender set a full glass of golden cider on the bar in front of him. "Oh, thanks," he said to her.
"You're welcome," said the bartender, before turning to Tempora. "What would you like?"
Tempora stared for a second at Walker's glass, then asked, "Is that cider?" At the bartender's nod, she said, "Then I'll have one too, please."
As the bartender nodded, going off to prepare the beverage, Walker turned to his cider and tentatively picked it up with a hoof. "Like cider?" he said casually, taking a small sip. Oh, this is good.
"If you don't think it's good," Tempora said, leaning onto the bar, "there's prob'ly something wrong with ya." She glanced at Walker's wings. "Never seen you before today. Where are you from?"
"Apparently, I'm from Cloudsdale," Walker muttered. "That's what my birth certificate says, anyway."
Tempora raised an eyebrow. "So what brings ya to Canterlot? Why'd you move here?"
"Oh, I don't know," Walker shrugged. "I just...well, I guess maybe I might've decided it'd be a good place to live...why do you ask?"
"Well, seeing a pegasus in Canterlot is pretty rare," Tempora explained as the bartender levitated her cider over. "Thanks. Well, Canterlot's made up of almost all unicorns, so pegasi and especially earth ponies are really rare unless they're tourists. The ones who live here are usually in the Royal Guard." She took a sip of cider. "Oh, Celestia, that tastes good," she sighed.
"Oh." Walker sighed and stared at his glass. "No wonder..."
"No wonder what?"
"Oh, nothing." Walker, with a jerky motion, took a swig of cider.
Tempora watched as he licked his muzzle and she grinned. "Guess I'm not the only one who likes this cider."
Walker clapped his hooves to his cheeks and gasped in mock surprise. "No! How'd you figure that one out?"
"Think you're such a smart aleck, don't ya?" Tempora said, lightly slugging him in the shoulder.
"Is that sarcasm I hear? Is it possible that there's more who use sarcasm than just me?"
Tempora paused, struggling for a witty reply. Eventually, she settled on, "You're crazy!"
"Maybe I'm sane," Walker retorted, "and you're the crazy one!" In one swift motion, he emptied the contents of his glass into his mouth and smacked the glass back onto the counter. "You know, I feel great right now! Uh, ma'am--" he waved at the bartender-- "can I get another cider, please?"
"Good idea! I'll take one too!" said Tempora loudly, rattling her glass against the bar.
"You're not even done with that one!" pointed out Walker, jabbing a hoof at the half-filled glass.
"No, but I will be," grinned Tempora, right before she downed the cider in a few gulps. "Woo! Okay, that was pretty good!"
"Eager, are we?" Walker smirked. "You an alcoholic or something?"
"Nah." Tempora waved a hoof dismissively as the bartender returned with more drinks. "I don't usually go out for drinks. I've had a long day and I gotta unwind. Oh, and thanks," she added to the bartender.
"Yeah, thanks," said Walker. "Me too..."
Firefall sat at a table across the pub, far from the bar, but close enough that he could see and hear his sister perfectly. And by extension, the pegasus stallion--named Walker--that she was with.
Who exactly is this guy? he thought as he narrowed his eyes at them
"...an' that's how I got my cutie mark," Tempora was saying to Walker, leaning on the bar. She suddenly made a hoof-pump. "Savin' the world!"
Walker burst out into laughter. "Sounds like you jus' saved your house...an' yer brother..."
She's talking about that?! Firefall thought indignantly, moving to stand, but he paused and sat down again. No...it's not so terrible I need to create a scene...
"Yeah, exactly! He's my world!" Tempora cheered. "He's awesome! Even if he's real annoying today..." She leaned in toward Walker. "What about you, friend? Your cutie mark?"
"Th' hell's a cutie mark?" Walker slurred. "Sounds ssstupid..."
"It's that picture on your butt when you find out what you're good at, numbskull!" Tempora said, pointing to hers. "You got one too! I can see it on you!"
"Wha?" Walker blinked and looked at Tempora's cutie mark, which was a pocket watch with the chain looping around the outside. "Holy shit, you got a tramp stamp!" He looked at his own cutie mark. "Holy shit, I got a tramp stamp!" He froze and took a closer look at it. "Don't remember getting this...was I drunk at some point?"
"You're drunk now, weirdo!"
"Not as much as you!..."
"You pegasi are known for bein' lightweights, and we've had the same amount!"
"Per'aps I'm weird for a pegasus! I've been a bit weird before then..."
Okay. I think that's enough, Firefall thought. She's had enough...and I guess that pegasus has had enough, too.
He stood up and strode over to the two of them in seconds. "Hey. Tempora. It's time to go," he said, prodding his sister hard in the side.
Tempora looked down, adjusting her hat. "What? No it isn't," she contradicted surprisingly clearly, though Firefall could still smell the alcohol on her breath. "This guy here...this guy right here..." she continued as she lightly punched Walker on the shoulder, "is actually a cool stal'yon! I mean, you're cool, but you're my brother!"
"Oh, yer crazy!" retorted Walker. "I'm not cool, just fucking boring! I think I'm smart or something...that's what those guys told me, anyway..."
"You're sellin' yourself short! You're funny...funnier than anyone I know!"
"'Cause I'm drunk!"
Firefall rubbed his head, annoyed. "Look, Tempora, it's getting rather late, and you've had enough. It's time to go. Now."
"I'm better at magic than you!"
"Only slightly, and I'm sober. I don't want to drag you home, but I will if I have to."
"But I'm good at my magic! My magical magic that's full of magic! Magically..."
"I can do magic, too!" announced Walker, grabbing his mug. "Watch in awe...as I make the contents of the mug...disappear!"
And in a few swift gulps, he drank the lot as Tempora laughed. He put the mug down once finished, looked at Firefall, and leaned toward him. "Hey, wait a second..." he said slowly. "You look familiar...I think..."
Firefall drew back instinctively. "Excuse me? I don't believe we've met."
"It was in the castle...I was reading and shit, I think. There were headaches..."
Firefall sighed. "I think you're thinking of somepony else. Here, I'll bring you home. Where do you live?"
"You're taking him home?" Tempora interjected.
"'Kay, I'll tell you where I live...lean in, it's secret," said Walker, ignoring Tempora--or possibly just not hearing her. When Firefall leaned in a bit, Walker continued suddenly. "It's Sixteen Hundred Pennsylvania Avenue, Northwest, Washington DC. Did ya get it? Sixteen hundred Pennsy--"
Firefall recoiled at the sudden loud noise as Walker started giggling like a child. "Yeah, stay down, I'm the motherfucking president!" he said.
"President of what?" Tempora asked, leaning in.
"Of your face!"
Both drunk ponies started giggling incessantly. Firefall, though, was having none of that. "Walker, seriously. Where do you live?"
"Okay, fine, if ya don't like presidents...I live at Ten Downing Street, Westminster, London--"
"I've heard enough," Firefall interrupted brusquely. "Tempora, we're going home. Walker, we'll go around Canterlot as long as we have to."
"But I'm the prime minister, fool!"
"What's that mean?" chimed in Tempora.
"It means Parliament better listen to me! Or something..."
Firefall rolled his eyes, put a small pile of bits on the counter to pay for the two's drinks, and grabbed the two in his telekinesis, bringing them outside into the night.
"Fire, what the hay?" protested Tempora weakly. "We were gonna have a drinking contest!"
"We were?" Walker asked, floating on his back, staring up at the sky. "Oh hey! It's Orion!"
"What, isn't that a mess o' stars?" Tempora mumbled as Firefall set them both down. "So?"
"Y'know how he's got a sword coming down from his belt?"
"Does he?"
"Yeah, he's s'posed to be the hunter..." Walker mumbled, "but swords go on the side and this is coming right down the middle..."
"Okay, look, you two, it's time to get moving," Firefall said impatiently.
"So what're ya sayin'?" Tempora asked, ignoring her brother completely.
"I'm saying Orion doesn't have a sword, he has a p--"
"It's time to go!" Firefall practically yelled, picking the two up in his magic again and moving. "Walker, where do you live?"
"I dunno..." Walker admitted. "I just moved in this morning...it had something to do with dark, maybe?"
"I'll let you think about it," Firefall sighed. "Tempora, looks like you're in luck; we're stopping at home first."
"What does Orion have?" whined Tempora. "I wanna know now!"
"It's a fucking d--"
"We don't need to know about that!" interrupted Firefall again. "Maybe later!"
"But I'll forget because I'm drunk or something!" said Walker.
"Yer not drunk or something, yer just drunk!" said Tempora, jabbing a hoof toward Walker. "I was there!"
"Oh, whatever, ya perfect Percy..."
"What does that mean...?"
Firefall sighed and tried to block out their voices as he continued to his and Tempora's house. Fortunately, the house was about seven minutes away on hoof, and they were there quickly.
It didn't make the walk any less embarrassing, though; there were still a fair number of ponies outside at this hour. At least they came across no nobles. Thank Celestia for that, Firefall thought gratefully.
"...so he was saying 'why won't you go out with me?' and I was saying 'it's 'cause you're a total plot-hole, an' I'm starting to get peeved!'" Tempora was saying as the three of them were approaching the house.
"He was like an incon...incon...inconsistency in a book?" Walker said uncomprehendingly.
"No, a plot-hole! Like a butthole!" Tempora clarified. "So after that, he was saying 'but I can show you a good time!' but then I was saying 'not even in yer dreams! I can alter the...the passage of time!'"
"Sounds like he's a grade-A dick!" Walker said as Firefall opened the door. "Maybe even a dick among dicks, one might say!"
"Pretty much!"
Firefall maneuvered Tempora in through the doorway and unceremoniously dropped her on the floor. Ignoring the grunt of annoyance, he turned to the floating pegasus. "Okay, Walker, do you remember where you live?"
Walker's face screwed up in concentration for a few moments. "God, I don't remember...dark something?"
"Can you please try to remember?"
"I've been trying! You think I'm a...what was it...a savant or something?"
"Idea!" yelled Tempora from inside. "Stay here!"
"What?!" yelled the drunken Walker and the sober Firefall simultaneously.
"This is your place, I can't stay here!" protested Walker.
"Tempora, you barely know this stallion!"
"Yeh, but it's not like we're gonna do unspeakable things!" said Tempora, still lying on the floor. "He can sleep on the couch or something!"
"The couch...good for me! Better than what I've got!" chimed in Walker.
"All right, fine," huffed Firefall, growing tired. "Walker, you can sleep on the couch here for tonight."
"Yeah, thanks!" said Walker as he was levitated inside and toward the living room. As he floated past Tempora, who was still on the floor, he said, "Good night, you crazed pony!"
"Good night, and you're the crazy one!" called Tempora, quickly losing sight of him. "Wow, I'm tired. Never noticed how comfortable this floor was..."
As she noted the comfort of a wooden floor with a very thin rug, Firefall set Walker down on the couch in the living room just off the kitchen, resting his head on a pillow and throwing a couple of blankets on him. "You're a pegasus, so I doubt you'll need more than that," Firefall said, "but the rest are in the closet here."
"Thanks. So you're Tempora's brother?" Walker mumbled surprisingly clearly.
"...Yes."
"Don't worry. I'm not gonna mess with her. Promise."
"...Great..."
But Walker was, for all intents and purposes, already fast asleep. Firefall sighed and headed back to the foyer.
"Bro," mumbled Tempora as Firefall came across her again. "This is one plot-kickingly-comfy floor."
"Well, it's nothing compared to your bed, which is a good thing as you're going up there," said Firefall as he levitated his sister. "Let's not fool around, all right?"
"Yeah, whatever," she muttered as he climbed the stairs with her floating just before him. "What's Orion got?"
"We're discussing this later," said Firefall as they entered Tempora's bedroom.
"Fiiiine. G'night, ya crazy animal," sighed Tempora as she landed on the bed. She rolled over and buried her face in her pillow.
"Night," said Firefall quietly, closing the door. With that done, he moved to his own bedroom and sat down on his bed, already deep in thought.
Who is that stallion, he thought, and what is up with him?
In any other circumstance, it would be safe to conclude that drunkenness was all that was wrong with Walker that night. But then he mentioned...oh, what was it...Pennsylvania? Westminster? What are those?
Firefall lay back on the bed and set his hat on his bedside table. It would probably be a good idea to ask him when he's sober again...
The light from outside had struck Walker directly in the face the next morning, and naturally, he turned away from it. But it was too late. No matter how much he tried to nuzzle back into the comfortable couch and try to sleep, the light wasn't helping. Neither were his headache or his thirst.
Hold the phone. Couch?
He blearily sat up, squinting, and looked around to find a place completely unfamiliar to him. He was sitting on a large green couch in what looked like some kind of living room. There was a large window, a few bookshelves, a couple of large chairs, and a fireplace.
Where am I exactly? I don't remember this...
Walker winced and held a hoof to his head as he looked at the window; he didn't know what time it was, but it was definitely too bright. He needed darkness. And maybe a drink of something cool and refreshing.
He shakily slid off the couch onto the carpeted floor and moved carefully to the next room, which happened to be a kitchen. To his slight surprise, there were two ponies with wizard hats sitting at stools in front of the counter already. One of them was hunched over and holding their head.
"Fire, are you sure you don't know a hangover cure spell?" the hunched-over one groaned.
"I'm sorry," said the other one, "but you know we didn't cover that in school, and I didn't see a reason to learn it myself."
"Ugh..."
Hey, wait a second... thought Walker, holding his head. I remember these ponies... He cleared his throat and approached them slowly.
The not-hunched over one turned and raised his eyebrows. "Oh, you're awake!" he said.
Walker winced and his ears folded back. "Not so loud!" he said quietly. "My head hurts!"
The other stallion winced. "I'm sorry," he said more quietly. "Do you have a hangover as well?"
"I guess," Walker mumbled, looking around as his ears straightened up again. "Wait...you're...Firefall Strider, right?" he asked as a few memories presented themselves. "You were at the bar...and so was the other...Tempora; that must be her there, right?"
The hunched-over Tempora groaned in response as Firefall nodded.
"Where am I?" Walker muttered, looking around.
"This is our house," said Firefall, gesturing to himself and his sister. "I brought you here last night because you couldn't remember where you lived, remember?"
"Oh...yeah..." Walker rubbed his head. "Right...where's my saddlebag?"
"By the couch," said Firefall, pointing. "Would you like a drink or something to eat?
Walker recoiled. "No. I've inconvenienced you enough already. I was drunk and I slept here. It would probably be best if I left."
"Stay," muttered Tempora. "You're fine. Just keep your voice down."
"Okay, fine...can I have some water?"
Firefall nodded and turned to the cabinet. The door glowed orange, it opened, and a glass floated out. Firefall magically filled the glass at the sink and levitated it to the pegasus, who took a healthy drink.
"Oh god, that's good," he muttered, refreshed.
"God?" Firefall questioned.
"Yeah, someone so many people believe in...how do I know this?" he said, rubbing his head.
Tempora's ears pricked up suddenly and she shifted herself.
"You know, I really should just leave," Walker sighed. "I...there's no reason to stay. At all, really."
Walker scooted over to the counter and set the half full glass down. Tempora raised her head, revealing bloodshot eyes. "You got a hangover."
"Yeah, thanks for the reminder," Walker snarked as he squinted at the mare. "I might have a throbbing headache...and be thirsty...and a bit hungry...and hate sunlight...but this isn't where I live and I don't wanna impose or anything."
Tempora narrowed her eyes and Walker's ears folded back. "You. Shut the face, okay? You're not imposing. Unless you got work on a Sunday, you got no good reason to leave. So eat something, drink something, or lie down."
"Tem, I don't know if..." Firefall quietly tried to interject.
"Well, I do know," said Tempora fiercely, hissing in pain and pressing a hoof to her forehead, knocking her hat slightly askew. "What kind of...ow...what kind of ponies would we be if we let him go out like that?"
"Fine..." sighed the two stallions simultaneously. Walker turned, eyes screwed mostly shut against the sunlight, and moved back to the couch.
Well, that was nice of her, he thought as he climbed up onto the couch and threw the blanket over himself, including his head. Ow...but she seemed pretty intent...ugh...on making me stay...
Well, this sucks, thought Tempora as she laid her head on the counter. Shoulda held back last night, I guess...
A wave of pain traveled through her head and she winced. Trying to ignore it, she directed her thoughts to the pegasus in the next room.
You know, it sounded like he was having memory trouble or something... and he said some weird stuff last night...I think. I can't remember.
She looked at Firefall, who had gotten up to go to the fridge.
Hang on...is Walker suffering from whatever Fire is? Both amnesia or something, and so close to each other...
With effort, Tempora raised her head and tried to keep from letting it slam back onto the counter. I bet he is! And by Celestia, I swear I'm gonna figure out why!
She squinted at the floor and slid off of her stool, but not without a wave of nausea. "Ugh..." she groaned, holding her stomach.
"Tempora?" said Firefall in surprise, looking over as he shut the fridge, levitating a carton of orange juice. "What are you doing? Are you all right?"
"I'm going back to bed," she muttered, hoping not to puke. "It's way more comfortable than that stupid counter. And darker, too."
"Um, okay..."
Tempora could feel her brother's stare as she left the room, but she was too uncomfortable to care; her mind was buzzing as best as it could with the headache and slight nausea. I'd do it about now...but I can't. It's too inconvenient. As she began ascending the stairs carefully, she let out a low chuckle to herself. Though, with how Walker has memory problems...I'll probably be doing it twice.
She paused at the top of the stairs and held her head briefly. What kind of pony would I be if I didn't? she asked herself as she turned and moved toward her bedroom.
A few spells raced through Tempora's mind, but she pushed them to the back. Not now. A nap later, I should be good...I hope.
Having two hungover ponies around the house was surprisingly less trouble than Firefall had thought it might be, oddly enough. He had expected more complaining and perhaps high maintenance...but that, fortunately, wasn't the case.
While it was true that Tempora had come down that morning with a massive headache and thirst, she had departed upstairs for the rest of the morning and most of the rest of the afternoon after convincing the pegasus to stay, so she was no trouble. The aforementioned Walker was even less maintenance--he'd stayed under the covers on the couch and didn't get up for breakfast or lunch.
While Firefall was slightly concerned about neither of them having eaten, he was ultimately satisfied. It gave him time to study. Time he probably needed.
At around four-thirty in the afternoon, he was checking the living room to see if anything different had transpired. Approaching the couch slightly let him know that Walker was still asleep under that mass of blankets, and Firefall nodded to himself and turned to leave.
Out of nowhere, there came a shout of joy from somewhere upstairs. Firefall spun toward the sound in surprise and Walker stirred slightly, rolling over.
"What in the world?" Firefall muttered, taking a step forward.
The orange flash of light and bang that came with teleportation filled his senses, and as soon as it cleared, he saw Tempora standing in front of him and staring straight at him with a massive grin on her face. "I did it!" she crowed.
"...Did what?" Firefall couldn't help but ask. "Banished your hangover?"
"No, that went away as I was sleeping," she dismissed. "No, it's something much better! I figured out how to fix your memory problem!"
"Tempora," said Firefall in a more hushed voice, "first of all, our guest is still sleeping." He gestured to the motionless pegasus on the couch.
"Whoops," said Tempora more quietly, blushing. "But still, just sit down and I'll fix it for you~"
"Tempora," interrupted Firefall, shoving a hoof in her muzzle, "I promise there's nothing wrong w--are you licking my hoof?!" He withdrew it with a disgusted look on his face.
"Yeah, I was afraid you were gonna say that," said Tempora causally, shifting her hat back so her horn was exposed. "You just haven't been listening, no matter how many Celestia-damn times I tell you! I keep telling you and you never listen, you stubborn pony! I'm offering you something completely painless and with no risk of memory loss or anything!"
As she spoke, her voice increased in pitch in volume, and her eyes narrowed until she looked angry enough to have an aneurysm.
"You keep refusing, even though you of all ponies should know it's not gonna be a bad thing!" Then, like a switch had been flipped inside of her, she snapped back to being calm. "So that's why, for your own good, bro, I'm gonna force you," she concluded in the same casual tone of voice she had just been using.
"What?!" Firefall cried in alarm, stepping back and lighting his horn beneath his hat. "Are you crazy--"
Tempora's horn flashed and in the span of less than a second, her hoof, damp with saliva, was pressed against his suddenly-exposed horn, dispelling any spell he was about to cast. Oh, Celestia...of course, she can cast that spell, some part of his mind thought, resigned.
"Now we can do this the easy way," Tempora said through a false smile, "or we can do this the hard way. And the hard way is...well, you know how it is. You're not gonna get far...like, at all, really."
Normally, Firefall would have just sat down and accepted it, considering he knew exactly what his sister was capable of, but something inside of him made him lash out, kicking her back and starting to run to the door.
Of course, she had been right about how far he'd get. Almost before he knew what had been happening, he found himself lying on the floor by the couch, tied from head to hoof in ropes, his hat lying on the floor within hoof-reaching distance...if he wasn't tied up.
Tempora stepped in front of him and bent down to look him in the eyes. "Yeah, don't worry...it'll be over real soon..." she said, giving a small smile in earnest.
Firefall started to charge up his horn, but the spell was immediately dispersed by another damp hoof. He didn't even have time to properly struggle as his sister's glowing horn touched his forehead--
project project special project Princess Celestia specifically chosen project ape thing intelligent old so old but healthy Polaris frozen millions another ape poisoning alphabet dying need to save both protection Celestia...
Tempora stood up and watched apprehensively as her brother twitched a couple of times on the floor, eyes screwed tightly shut. Aw, crap, did I do the spell right? Damn it, I better have! I looked over it a billion times!
Soon, though, Firefall's eyes opened and he looked toward her. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally decided on something to say. "Um...I'm back..."
Not daring to untie him just yet, Tempora leaned in. "What do you remember?"
"I...I remember...everything," Firefall breathed. "Patrick Stanford Walker the human. He was the human the miners discovered...and we found another one, too, later--Katherine Franklin. I started teaching them the Equestrian alphabet and they were doing very well...but they were dying of the ambient magic. There were not a lot of options as to how to combat that..."
Tempora grinned widely, overjoyed. "So it worked?!"
Firefall shrugged uncomfortably. "Er, I suppose it did."
Tempora grinned even more widely and untied Firefall hastily, throwing the ropes aside. There we go! she thought as Firefall stood, and as soon as he was up, she threw her forelegs around him in a hug. "Oh Celestia, I'm glad you're completely back!"
Firefall awkwardly patted her on the back--he had never been much of a hugger--and Tempora let go. "What do you mean, completely back?" he wondered.
Tempora frowned and raised an eyebrow, prompting Firefall to elaborate. "No, I mean, I've got those memories again," he amended, levitating his hat back on, "but...I was still Firefall, right? I was still...who I am?"
Tempora looked to the ceiling in thought. "Uh, technically, yeah...but you had your memory of the past few days...I dunno, blocked, and from what you said, it sounded like it was messed with."
"Messed with...? I don't remember anypony casting a spell on me like that..."
Oh, buck. "Did I miscast? Did I do it wrong?" Tempora asked, internally starting to panic. "Oh Celestia, should I do it again? Or is it something else--"
"No!" Firefall interrupted hastily, shoving his hoof in her mouth again. "No, I remember everything. I certainly would have remembered something like that. Perhaps it happened while I was sleeping..."
"I dunno, I guess," said Tempora after removing his hoof from her mouth, visibly calmer. "But still, who could've done that?"
"I'm not sure," Firefall admitted, "and trust me, I want to know." He frowned angrily for a moment. "I'm not sure memory alteration is ethically permissible and even if it was, I don't appreciate it happening to me--"
"I wouldn't appreciate it either."
The unicorns turned in surprise to see their pegasus guest lying face up on the couch with open eyes and ears pricked up to listen intently. "You're awake?!" Firefall shouted in surprise before mentally hitting himself. "Sorry," he continued more quietly, "I forgot--"
"No, I'm fine," Walker interrupted, sitting up. "Hangover's gone." He winced and shrunk back. "Actually, I should leave now--"
"How much did you hear?" Firefall asked.
"Uh...I woke up just before you--" he waved a hoof at Tempora-- "teleported in. I wasn't sure if I should listen but god, what you did seemed important, and looks like you got your memories back again. Congrats...I think I should leave, though." And he started to slide off the couch.
"Wait," Tempora said, holding up a hoof. "Do you feel like you forgot something?"
Walker hesitated and squinted as if he wasn't sure whether this was a trick question. "Uh...yes? I keep saying 'god' but I don't know why. I think I thought about a phone or something but I don't know what that is..."
"You got memory loss?" Tempora asked, not even trying to be subtle.
"Tempora!" hissed Firefall.
"I don't know," Walker said dully. "Why do you care?"
Tempora looked at him as if he was stupid. "Walker, we don't go get drunk together and then just not care about each other to at least some level. You liked hanging out with me, right?" At his nod, she pressed on. "And I liked hanging out with you. That makes us at least acquaintances, and if I can fix something that's wrong with you and I don't, what kind of pony does that make me?"
"A pony who's got more important things to do than help some random pony she barely even knows?"
Tempora slapped a hoof to her face. "Oh, Celestia, why don't you get it?" She let the hoof trail down her face and land on the floor again. "Okay, look, if I don't help you, it's gonna be on my mind until I die, but more importantly, you're not gonna have help done to you when you could have it right now, free of charge, where some other ponies might wanna charge you! I'm trying to help you because it's the right thing to do!"
"Yeah, but how do you know for sure I need this help?"
"Uh..." Tempora said eloquently, not having expected this.
"All right, then," Firefall jumped in, noticing his sister's pause. "Does the name 'Pennsylvania' ring a bell?"
"Pennsylvania?" Walker rested his head on the couch and stared at the ceiling. "I think so...it's a road, and it's also a territory of some kind...I think."
"Do you remember any details?"
"...No?"
"Well then, I'm inclined to believe my sister. I think you have memory loss...oh. Oh."
"What?" prompted both Walker and Tempora as Firefall started pacing.
Firefall moved to a window and stared outside to see the small backyard. He stood there for a moment, unmoving, before turning back. "You're the human. You're Patrick Stanford Walker, and you've had your body changed and your memories affected. It all makes sense. Patrick said 'god' a lot, for example, and he knew about the kinds of things you said when you were drunk last night. The alcohol must have affected your memory somehow."
Walker snorted. "Yeah, no. That's crazy. I was probably just brought up in a weird situation."
"Okay, then who are your parents and where did you grow up?"
"Um..." Walker looked up at the ceiling in thought again. "My dad was called Storm Chaser...I forget about my mom, though...but I grew up in Cloudsdale."
Firefall's eyebrows shot up. "Really? Then can you tell me what's special about Cloudsdale that no other city in the world is known for?"
Tempora and Firefall exchanged uneasy glances. "Can you fly?" asked the latter.
"...No..."
"Every pegasus who grew up in Cloudsdale should know how to fly," said Firefall matter-of-factly, "because it's a city in the sky. Your memories have been affected."
"...No they haven't..."
"Tempora," said Firefall, ignoring Walker's feeble protest, "are you going to do the spell again?"
Tempora pursed her lips. "Uh, no, I can't. I was only able to do it to you because you were only missing memories from a few days and I knew the basics of what I was looking for. This guy, though--" she gestured with a hoof-- "is missing pretty much his whole life, and I don't know it. There's no way I could do it. Besides, I never even met him as a human." She saw Firefall open his mouth and shook her head. "We couldn't even do it together, I'll bet. We'd need some other spell."
Firefall looked down. "Of course."
"So...can I go?" Walker quietly asked, halfway off the couch.
"No," Tempora said quickly. "We're gonna fix you somehow. I know another spell exists somewhere."
Walker hesitated, then slid off the couch anyway, grabbed his saddlebag, and headed out of the living room toward the front door. As soon as his back was turned, Firefall muttered, "Are you going to let him leave?"
"...No," Tempora said thoughtfully. "I can't just let him go without some real important memories, especially if he's one of the humans you spoke of. We have to help him."
They looked between each other and then toward the foyer. "Should I do it or do you wanna?" she asked.
"You should," Firefall gently encouraged. "With what you can do, it's good practice."
Tempora smirked. "Like I need practice at this point." She gathered some of her magic and let it pour out like she was letting air out of a balloon in a well-practiced move. By the time she was done releasing the magic, everything was moving so slowly one would have to stare unblinkingly to notice movement.
She glanced at her nearly-frozen brother and chuckled, wasting no time and moving to the front door. She passed Walker, who was striding extremely slowly toward the door, and made it to the door first and locked it.
"And they said I wouldn't find a good use for this," she said to herself, smirking and glancing at Walker, who had barely moved.
Grinning, she moved on to the back door, the windows on the ground floor, the windows upstairs, and hers and Firefall's bedroom doors. Once finished, she returned to the living room, sat down on the couch, and sped everything up to its normal speed.
Firefall looked over and noticed her broad grin. "That never gets old for you, does it?" he muttered rhetorically.
Seconds later, a voice sounded from the foyer. "The door's locked. Can someone please unlock it?"
"Nope!" Tempora called out cheerfully.
"Wh--wh--wha--no?" Walker sputtered. "Why not?"
"'Cause we're not letting you leave 'til you get your memory back!"
"What the hell is wrong with you ponies?!"
The twins listened as Walker ran from room to room, trying to find a means of escape. "Did you get the windows?" Firefall muttered.
"You think I'm stupid or something?" Tempora asked dryly, but with a grin. "Of course I got the windows."
It only took about a minute for Walker to return to the living room, and once he did, he was fuming. "You bastards! What the hell is up with you?"
"Bastard?" Tempora echoed uncomprehendingly.
"Um, we're not bastards; we know who our parents were," said Firefall, equally confused.
"No, no, it means--rrgh!" Walker spun around and slammed himself onto the couch, accidentally whipping Tempora in the face with his tail, who gave a cry of surprise and pain. "Sorry--oh wait, maybe you deserve that..."
"Celestia damnit, I'm trying to help!" yelled Tempora, standing and glaring at the pegasus. "But you're being more stubborn than Fire was! Why are you so sure your memory's okay?"
"Because it is, and I'm not sure I want you poking around in there!"
"Ugh!" Tempora huffed through gritted teeth. "You may hate this now, but trust me, you'll be thanking me later! I'm going upstairs!"
And I know there's another spell for this kind of thing! she thought furiously as she stormed upstairs. But what about the other human...?
Walker stared at Tempora as she retreated upstairs, and then turned back and looked down dully at the couch. Thanks for that...
"Walker..." said Firefall gently. When Walker looked up, Firefall pressed on. "I know you think it's...well, horseapples, but...trust me, Tempora and I know what we're talking about."
"You locked me in your house," Walker pointed out. "Look, that doesn't exactly make me want to trust you."
"We want you to know what's going on," Firefall said. "I got my memory back and even I don't fully know why this happened. Actually, I don't know at all...but we cannot in good conscience just let you stumble your way through Equestria without knowing anything about anything."
Walker didn't answer and turned his gaze up to the ceiling. As soon as I find a way out of here, I swear I'm going to report you two to the authorities.
"Are you hungry?"
"Nope," Walker lied. If they kidnapped me, what's to say they won't poison me either?
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Firefall sighed and rubbed his muzzle. "Okay, I'll leave you alone. Just think about this, all right?"
It wasn't until the unicorn had left the living room when Walker let a small hiss out of his muzzle form the words, "I have thought about it, and you won't convince me."