A Quiet Day in Ponyville
A QUIET DAY IN PONYVILLE
by
De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)
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We were all lounging around the Ponyville police station break room, sucking down bad coffee and good donuts. As he dunked his third donut into his mug of coffee, Morty opined, “The donuts make up for this coffee.”
It was perfect weather outside and there had not been a single call all morning.
Clance was admiring his reflection in a mirror and brushing his mane. His uniform was spotless (except for the small fresh coffee spot next to his middle button). He smiled at the pleasant sight of himself in the mirror.
“A beautiful day,” he sighed. “What could possibly go . . .” All six of us on duty lunged for him, careless of slopping our coffee, as we clamped hooves around his muzzle! We were too late! “wrong?” he finished, while we ponypiled him!
Dejected by our failure to prevent him from saying it, we got back up and started to dunk another round of donuts. Chief Haywire came in from the Council meeting that he had been attending.
With a sour face, he told us, “Council has just refused to authorize the overtime fund for future emergencies. They passed it unanimously. Things have been so quiet that they do not see the need for maintaining an overtime fund.”
We all glared at Clance. “You just HAD to ask, didn't you, Clance?”
Aggrieved, Clance replied, “What? All that I done was ask what could possibly go . . .”
We were quicker that time but it was no use. Discord's meaner cousin Murphy must have overheard!
Before we even got up from the ponypile, we all heard it. The Ponyville Fire Department's big emergency bell started tolling its call of doom! To the din was added a low moan, rising to a scream! It was the new emergency siren.
We dashed out to follow the fire wagons! It was our duty to provide crowd and traffic control. We could see the smoke rising over near Fallmire marsh. There is not much over there, due to the odors that come from the Ponyville Sewage Treatment plant.
As we got closer, it was obvious that the fire was AT the Sewage Treatment plant! Clance, galloping ahead of us, called out, “The Sewer Plant! What could be worse than a fire at the Sewer Plant?”
As the pumpers got close to the plant, we overheard the battalion chief ordering, “Deploy for explosion hazard! If one of those tanks cracks and takes air we could . . .” The thunderous detonation of a tank filled with liquid manure and highly flammable sewer gas completed his sentence for him!
It also drenched us all in liquid and solid pony waste!
The fire was pretty bad. At least crowd control was not too much of an issue. The stench from the ruptured tank took care of that!
The wind was little cat's paws that came and went. Just as our noses got used to the scent of burning manure and partially digested sewage, the wind would shift. When it came back, we got the odors full force again.
The fire finally out, bone tired, we were dragging back to the station. Clance opined, “Nothing could be worse than that!”
We got the call. Robbery at the Equestrian National Bank! The thieves fled with lots of loot and two members of the Ponyville Council as hostages.
Tired as we were, we had to give pursuit! The thieves had their loot and hostages in a small two wheeled cart. Trying to negotiate a sharp corner just short of the entry to Royal Road 26, they swung wide, due to excessive speed!
They took the fire hydrant off neat, spraying us all with high pressure water! The impact broke their left wheel and crashed their cart! Tumbling hostages and bags of coin ended their escape!
Unable to flee further, the robbers dragged some loot and the hostages into the nearest open door! It was a warehouse that they were forced to hole up in. Ironically, the building belonged to one of their Council pony hostages. We surrounded the whole place.
The Chief called in second shift to help. They joined us, playing at holding noses and making other humorous gags about our condition, since the sewer plant fire.
Morty checked his watch and called, “Five O'clock! Quitting time!”
Cheerfully yelling, “Good call, Morty!” We all started to leave the scene.
The Chief demanded, “What are you doing!? You have to stay and help! This is an Emergency!”
We retorted, “It sure is, Chief! Second shift has it under control now! Thing is, we are not being paid overtime and those two hostages in there are partly responsible. No pay, no work. See you tomorrow. We will clock in right on time to see how this all works out.”
The Chief suddenly got a peculiar look on his face and hollered, “Wait up! Our whole shift should all clock out together!”
Clance, the darn fool loudmouth cause of it all, was first to shove his card into the time-clock! The unit gave a ghastly SPROING! Clockworks showered out from under the device! Attempting to free his card from the jammed mechanism, Clance's card got shredded.
Aside from having to hoof write our time, because of the broken time-clock, it was a pretty normal clock out. We headed to the break room.
Morty looked sadly at the ruins. Our donut boxes lay scattered and empty. “Second shift! They got here and robbed us before they came to assist with the bank heist! There isn't even any coffee left!”
Dejected, we prepared to go home. Rain made a wet thutter on the roof as it started. Cloudsdale sent some pegassi to assist the sewer plant fire clean up with a bit of a downpour.
We were all getting drenched when Pinkie Pie came bouncing past, with Gummy on his leash. Her two and a third meter long alligator was frisking about and splashing into the puddles!
As she bounded cheerfully through the rain, she called out happily, “It is a great day for walking your Alligator!”
~THE END~