> The Game Theorist in Equestria (a.k.a. Mat Pat in Equestria) > by ShadowStorm7 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Prologue > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “It is almost complete. I just need to find the last missing element…” said a voice from behind a curtain. The stranger was obviously a unicorn, as he then looked out from behind the curtain. “Oh, hello, there. I’m Matthew Patrick, but everybody—oh, I’m sorry—everypony calls me Mat Pat. Now, I know what you are wondering: how on earth did I become a pony? Well, it’s a funny story. You caught me in an attempt to get home, but I seem to be missing a crucial element which would make that possible. I just can’t seem to find it. The element is very elusive and very rare; I couldn’t even find it under normal circumstances. This elusive element is none other than Diet Coke, but I have been here for four months and they don’t have any. Now, I know what you’re thinking, that I would have a hidden stash somewhere, but I drank some of it, and then, while I was out shopping for equipment for the machine, a pink party pony came in and drank the rest. And yes, it was foolish of me to make this machine run on Diet Coke. “How did I get here? Well, it’s a very weird story, but first I have to try to get this machine up and running. In theory, it should work, but it could also fail, and I also have to stay hidden. Now, I can hear your minds pondering, ‘Why must you hide, Mat Pat? There seems to be nothing wrong with this.’ Well, to that I say, YOU’RE NOT THE ONE WHO CAUGHT THE AFFECTION OF TWO MARES. These mares are crazy! They just laid their eyes on me and decided they wanted me. The very hyper pink one decided she wants me because of ‘reasons,’ and then there’s a lavender alicorn who likes me because, as she phrased it, I’m ‘smart and cute.’ “But other than those mares falling for me, it’s been peaceful here. They say the town’s called Ponyville—” Just then, the machine beeped, and Mat Pat went to it. The monitor read, “Diet Coke element missing for machine to work perfectly. Please acquire Diet Coke.” GAH!” exclaimed Mat Pat. “I can’t get the Coke, you dumb machine! It’s extremely rare here! Now, yes, I will explain how I got here, but, for now, the author needs me to show you an attempt to get home—curse you, author!” Mat Pat shouted at the air, but there was no response, as if the author were ignoring him. “Dumb author…” grumbled Mat Pat. As he sighed, he continued with his work, unsure of how to get home. > Chapter 1: “W-Where Am I?” > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was a beautiful day in sunny Los Angeles and inside a suburban home some groans could be heard. Then a complaining voice issued from inside the house. The voice belonged to none other than Mathew Patrick. A recent machine he had been working on was not functioning correctly. It was supposed to detect parallel worlds, but, for some strange reason, it was not working, even though the design was flawless. Mathew scowled at his machine, frustrated, and started slapping it with his hand. Suddenly, a strange aura appeared right in front of him—if he hadn’t known better, he might have described it as “magical.” Mat Pat stared into it, hearing what sounded like a female voice, but he couldn’t understand what she was saying; it was too garbled. Mat Pat set down his Diet Coke, muttering, “W-What is this?” It seemed like something or someone from inside the portal was calling out to him, so he stepped forward and jumped into the portal. The next thing that he heard was the clopping of hooves, then all went black. * * * Her hooves rang against the hard crystal floor of the Ponyville castle as the lavender pony known as Twilight Sparkle walked back and forth, an open book levitating before her. Still reading, she thought, How am I supposed to get this advance teleportation spell to work without a griffon’s tear? Spike should have been back with that an hour ago. Just as she was about to resign herself to moving on to another magic project, Spike came in with a small vial in his claws. Twilight took the griffon tear from him and began focusing on the materials, aura sparking and growing. Soon enough, a portal appeared. “Well, that’s not what I wanted,” Twilight said, frowning. She turned to Spike and started to ask whether he had gotten the right ingredient, but before she could utter a word, Twilight heard the sound of approaching hooves. She looked back at the portal and saw a tan unicorn with chestnut-brown hair standing before the swirling vortex. Then the portal snapped shut and the stallion collapsed, and she rushed to him to make sure he was okay. As Twilight examined him, she couldn’t help but notice that he was very cute. She glanced at his flank for his cutie mark; it was a bright green trophy. Twilight wondered if the stallion were an athletic pony, or perhaps he was very brilliant and the trophy symbolized all the academic awards he had won, or maybe it was a combination of the two. It was then that Pinkie Pie bounced into the room. She paused when she spotted the strange stallion, and Twilight grudgingly recognized in Pinkie’s eyes the same emotions she had just felt toward the stallion. Then Pinkie’s gaze latched onto the stallion’s cutie mark, and she proceeded to pull eleven first-place trophies for competitive eating from the depths of her wild curls, which was discombobulating not only for Twilight, but for the author. Arranging the trophies on the floor before her in a sort of display, Pinkie Pie grinned at Twilight and asked, “Who is this cute, hunky stallion?” Twilight rolled her eyes. “I don’t know,” she replied simply. “He appears to have come from the portal I conjured by mistake—it was supposed to be an advanced teleportation spell. It’s possible the portal opened in another world, like the Mirror, and this pony came from there. But I thought only the Mirror could bring ponies over from other worlds…” She scratched her chin with a fore hoof. “I need to figure this out, but, Pinkie, no scaring him off.” “Got it!” Pinkie saluted, and then raised her tail and began to rotate it at a blurring speed. She lifted off the floor and flew out of the room. The raucous of a crash soon followed from down the hall. Twilight sighed. “Well, at least the skylight’s been installed. Now a Pinkie Pie-sized hole is in the ceiling.” As she turned back to consider the problem at hoof, the stallion opened bleary eyes. Then his gaze focused on Twilight, and he gasped. > Chapter 2: “What Am I?” > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Twilight waited for the stallion to say something, but the most he appeared to be able to manage was an incoherent muttering. His eyes were still as big as dinner plates, and his breaths came slow and shallow. A constant tremor shook him visibly. Then his eyes rolled up in his head and he fell limp, unconscious. Twilight traded an uncertain glance with Spike. Enveloping him in her magenta aura, Twilight levitated the stallion into the air. Spike held the door open as she and her cargo passed, and then together they made their way through the crystalline castle halls. The floating, sleeping stallion earned them more than a few arched eyebrows and curious looks from the Royal Guards on duty and the civilian ponies visiting the castle. Twilight ignored them, too consumed with the puzzle at hoof to bother worrying about how the three of them must look. Spike seemed a bit more concerned, offering the onlookers an occasional shrug or weak grin. They entered one of the castle’s many guest rooms. Twilight carefully set the stallion down on the bed. He was still unresponsive. “What’re you going to do with him?” asked Spike, scratching his spines. Twilight began to respond, but then a pink head popped into the room through the open door. “Hey, Twilight!” Pinkie all but squealed. “Everypony’s talking about the new guy in the castle!” She gasped suddenly, her mouth stretching into such a huge smile that Twilight wondered how the expression did not physically hurt Pinkie. “We should totally throw him a Welcome to Ponyville party! Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything!” Then Pinkie vanished into the hall, slamming the door shut behind her. The sheer force of it splintered the wood of the frame and shook the walls. Every tome and scroll in the room’s bookcases were jostled from their perches. The whole lot thundered to the floor. The stallion jolted awake. He sat bolt-upright, gasped for a second time, and let out a scream to rival Rarity’s drama queen cries. Spike covered his ears with his claws. Twilight raised a fore hoof to her forehead and just shook her head. After a while, the stallion clamped his mouth shut and took several deep breaths, though it seemed of little help. “W-what’s going on?” he stammered. “Where am I?” He gaped when he spotted Twilight, as though he had never seen an alicorn before. “What are you? And why can’t I feel my fingers? And what is that?” The stallion jabbed a fore hoof at Spike, and then stared, dumbfounded, at his own raised hoof. Twilight calmly replied, “Well, sir, I was trying to make you more comfortable. You’re in the Ponyville Castle—my castle, actually. My name’s Twilight Sparkle, and this is my number one assistant, Spike. He’s a dragon.” She paused, trying to think up a good response to the stallion’s finger query. It was a vaguely familiar word, although, as yet, she could not quite place where she had heard it before. Then she shrugged; it would come to her eventually. The stallion finally tore his gaze from his hoof to level it instead on Twilight. He glanced between her and Spike for a time, as if he did not really believe what she had told him. When he did manage to speak again, all that came out was a short, “Oh.” Heat rose in Twilight’s cheeks again. She cleared her throat and rustled her wings, forcing the blush to cool. What would this stallion think of her if he knew he was the cause? What would her friend's think if she simply took up with a stallion she had conjured out of a transdimensional portal and whom she did not know at all? You’re a mature mare, Twilight, she reminded herself, not some filly with a schoolyard crush. “Now,” she said aloud, “I’m sorry, sir, but I didn’t catch your name.” After a pause, the stallion said, “My name is Matthew Patrick, but you may call me Mat Pat. That’s what all my friends call me.” “It’s nice to you, Mat Pat.” Twilight offered him a friendly smile—just friendly, nothing else. Beside her, Spike rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to speak. Twilight quickly threw a wing in front of him and spoke first. “Now, I’ve never seen you before, and you came through an accidental portal, so I’m quite curious. What are you?” “Well,” Mat Pat said, “I was a Homo sapien,part of the hominid race, which, when you get down to the very basics, is the descendant of the ape species of chimpanzees, but without all the hair. In laymen’s terms, a human.” A light seemed to flicker to life in Twilight’s mind. Her expression brightened, and her smile grew wider. Of course! How could she have been so dense? It all made perfect sense now! “Considering the look on your face,” said Mat Pat, flicking an ear sideways, “you already know of humans. Then you’ll know I’m telling the truth.” “Of course you’re telling the truth!” exclaimed Twilight, leaping into flight. She fluttered to hover just above the floor beside Mat Pat and continued excitedly, “You see, there’s this Mirror that connects Equestria with the human world, but it only opens once every thirty moons. I’ve been to your world twice! And now that I think about it, your name sounds very familiar, but I can’t put my hoof on it. Could I have heard of you from somewhere in the human world?” Mat Pat raised an eyebrow. Then he straightened, cleared his throat, and said, “But, hey, that’s just a theory—a Game Theory.” Twilight gasped. “Oh, my gosh! You’re the Game Theorist! The human versions of my friends watch you all the time! I mean, I’d never even heard of video games before I met those girls, but they showed me how to play their Mane-iac game and we watched your theory on how the villain’s hair could have actually come alive like that in real life. The science was perfect! Trust me, I should know,” she added with a laugh and a wink. From across the room, Spike folded his arms, scowling, and muttered, “Oh, brother…” > Chapter 3: "What Is This Place?" > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It took a while, but Mat Pat eventually managed to squeeze a word in, finally stopping Twilight’s endless rambling about his videos. “I’m so sorry to interrupt, Miss Sparkle, but will you please indulge me and tell me where in the world I am? I mean, I’ve never seen anything like this place. And pastel-colored ponies that can speak?” He shook his head. “Honestly, it’s quite preposterous,” he said. He still wasn’t certain whether the freak-out meter should be at “Okay, that’s fine” or “OH, NO, I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE.” “I… already told you,” Twilight said. “You’re in my castle, in Ponyville.” “But where on Earth is this… Ponyville?” The name alone was absurd, never mind all the other impossibilities. This time, Twilight frowned. Regarding Mat Pat flatly, she replied, “I already told you that, too.” Heat flushed Mat Pat’s face, and he gave a sheepish grin. “Oh. I must not have been paying attention—it is quite a lot to take in, after all.” “True,” Twilight agreed. “Well, to reiterate, you’re in Equestria, which is ruled by the Four Princesses, of which I am one. You are welcome to stay in the castle while you’re here—” A pounding at the door brought Twilight up short. She flicked her ears back and scowled at the door, as if to make the knocker leave. The pounding continued. “Excuse me for just a moment,” she said, offering Mat Pat the pleasant smile of one who was trying very hard to keep hold of her patience. Then she went to the door and swung it aside without even touching it—but a magenta glow surrounded her horn and the doorknob. Mat Pat’s eyes widened at the sight. Real magic. But magic was a scientific impossibility! It couldn’t be magic; it must be something else, something that made sense. Another pony, this one sans any horns or wings, stood on the other side of the bedroom door. She was pink, and her rosy hair looked almost like cotton candy. Twilight blinked, as though surprised to see the mare. “Pinkie Pie?” “Oh, hey, Twilight,” said the pony Twilight had called Pinkie Pie. “Is that cute, hunky stallion awake yet? I sure would love to show him around Ponyville and get him to that—” She paused, rubbernecking quickly, and then lowered her voice to possibly the loudest whisper Mat Pat had ever heard. “To his Welcome to Ponyville party.” Then Pinkie returned to her normal volume, which was high-pitched enough to break glass, making Mat Pat wonder what the windows here were really made of. “You know, so he can get to know everypony and make some friends andmaybe get a special somepony,” she added with a smile and a wink. Twilight groaned, dragging a fore hoof down her face. “Look, Pinkie,” she began in a more appropriate whisper, though Mat Pat could still make out what she was saying, if only just, “I don’t want you to scare this nice stallion off like you did Flash Sentry. You do know that Flash doesn’t want to even see me again, don’t you? I like this stallion, and I think…” Her scowl darkened, and her voice dropped too far for Mat Pat to hear. “B-b-b-but—!” Pinkie abruptly stammered, crestfallen. “No buts!” Twilight intervened. “Promise you won’t scare him off. You can show him around and have a small party, but nothing big. Promise me, okay?” “B-b-b-but he’s sooooooooooooo cute!” Twilight flared her wings, making her seem larger than she really was. Magic flared and sparked around her horn. “Pinkie Promise me!” Pinkie’s lower lip quivered in a fierce pout, eyes huge and glistening. After a reluctant minute, she said in a tiny voice, “Fine… Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” “Good.” Twilight nodded, relaxing her tense posture. She started to say more, but then glanced back at Mat Pat and quieted. She ushered Pinkie farther into the hall with a wing and said over her shoulder, “We’ll be right back. If you need anything, just ask Spike.” With that, her horn glowed, and she shut the door, blocking Mat Pat’s view of both her and Pinkie. Mat Pat stared at the closed door for a long while. He’d been in this upside-down world less than an hour and had two women—er, mares—ogling him like an original, mint-condition copy ofThe Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask. How in the world was he going to survive long enough to joke about it with his wife? How was he going to get back to his wife? “So why are you here?” Mat Pat jumped, whirling to find the small dragon watching him with flinty, emerald eyes. He’d forgotten the dragon was there. The dragon—no, Spike, his name was Spike—crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow. “Well?” he asked, tapping the claws of one foot on the tile. His tone alone could have melted icebergs. “Oh, um…” Mat Pat’s ears drooped, and he shuffled his hooves. It was an odd experience; he’d never had hooves before, after all. “Well, I’m not really sure. You see, I was…” And he began to explain what all had happened to him, doing his best to keep the freak-out meter from imploding over the fact that he was talking to an actual, possibly fire-breathing, Spyro-purple dragon. > Chapter 4: “A Special What?” > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “But, Twilight,” said Pinkie Pie, “why do you even want him? He seems more like a pony who’s entered competitions without categories like history or science.” She stamped a hoof emphatically, the sound ringing through the hall. “He’s clearly been in eating competitions, so that should prove he’s my soulmate. You would just bore him out of his mind. Hay, I bet you were to teach him Equestrian history, his brain would open up his head, jump out, and just want to lay on the floor.” Twilight started to reply, but then Pinkie pulled a neon sign from Celestia-knows-where. It said, Obvious Choice; Pinkie pointed it at herself. Shaking her head at the impossibility as much as her friend’s stubbornness, Twilight plowed on. “Pinkie, look, let’s just focus on his party and let him decide. On the off-chance that he can’t get back to his world, he might want to start a new life here. When the time is right, he’ll pick a special somepony.” She paused, the bigger picture creeping into view. There were other things to consider besides their own feelings. “But we can’t tell anypony where he’s from,” she continued, rubbing her chin with a fore hoof. “Especially Lyra. Otherwise, he’ll be bombarded with questions about humans and poked and prodded and studied, and I doubt he would want that. We—” A blood-curdling shriek resounded from the guest room, making both mares jump clean out of their skin. Reining in her fear, Twilight thrust the door wide with a spell and rushed inside; Pinkie followed just behind her. They both stopped short just over the threshold. Nothing appeared to be amiss. Mat Pat was backing away from Spike, shaking and cringing, while the dragon smirked haughtily. “What in the name of Tartarus is going on in here?” Twilight demanded. She doused her magic. “Well,” answered Spike, clasping his claws behind his back, “we were talking and getting along great, and then Mat Pat said that if dragons really existed, they’d share the same genes as birds, lizards, and dinosaurs, but were closer to dinosaurs, and that it was scientifically impossible for us to breathe fire. So I… educated him.” He wagged his eyebrows and loosed a tiny wisp of emerald flame, making Mat Pat scoot even farther away from him. Then Spike glanced toward Twilight, and his spines and expression sank beneath her hot glower. “Spike, everypony is free to express their own opinions—” Twilight began. “It wasn’t an opinion!” Spike protested over her. “He all but said dragons couldn’t exist!” “—and you should know better than to singe guests. What were you thinking? You could have just said you disagreed and had a nice conversation instead.” Spike sputtered for a moment, and then shot a glare at Mat Pat as if it were all his fault. Pinkie had gone to the stallion and was hugging him, trying to calm him down. She returned Spike’s glare with a brief one of her own, and opened her mouth to say something, but a knock brought everyone’s attention around. “Ev’rythin’ okay in there?” came a familiar drawl from just outside the open door. An orange mare with straw-colored hair and wearing a rodeo hat poked her head in. “Ev’rypony in town’s talkin’ ’bout the screams comin’ from the castle. Shoot, I could hear that last’un halfway to Sweet Apple Acres. I ain’t never heard a scream like that before, leastways not when Rarity’s out of town. But seeing as how she’s in Baltimare for that big fashion show, I thought I’d best come on down and see what all the fuss is ’bout.” “Come on, Spike,” Twilight instructed, going to Applejack. Fuming, Spike obeyed. Hopefully he couldn’t cause Mat Pat any trouble if he was with her. Although, perhaps she should have taken— “Oooh, hi, Mr. Writer! What are you doing?” What, Pinkie? “What’re you doing here? You shouldn’t be talking to me—that’s not in the story.” Well, I already broke the fourth wall in the first chapter, so we’re due for another break right about now. Besides, I figured we should see what’s going on with you. Don’t worry, Pinkie, just get back into the story. “Okey-dokey-lokey!” Pinkie turned to Mat Pat, who was staring at her as if she were some lunatic fresh out of the local asylum. She grinned. “So, I’ve been wondering if you’ll be getting a special somepony, and, if so, would you pick a superly-fantastic, chipper, and fun pony or a pony who only likes to read scrolls and study and talk about what she’s learned?” After a long minute, Mat Pat blinked and replied, “Um, Ms. Pie, what’s a special somepony?” “A special somepony’s your marefriend or coltfriend, depending on which way you swing.” “Oh.” Mat Pat carefully untangled himself from Pinkie’s grip and offered her a polite smile. “I mean, I suppose that makes sense, but I have a wife back home, so I don’t need a special somepony.” Pinkie Pie giggled. “Well, in case we can’t get you home, Twilight thinks it’d be nice for you to have one.” Mat Pat stared at her, dumbfounded, for a beat. Then he turned tail and galloped straight for the exit. He shoved past Twilight, Spike, and Applejack, down the hall, and made a beeline for the first door with daylight shining through its stained glass windows. Ponies of all kinds watched him pass and darted out of his way, but Mat Pat barely saw them. He burst outside. Before he had a chance to take in his surroundings, his hoof—why on earth did he have to have four of the things?—slipped, sending him tumbling down the steps and into the dirt. “Mat Pat, wait!” It was Pinkie Pie’s voice. Mat Pat bolted upright, eye twitching. He scrambled back to his hooves and continued his mad dash. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one else had followed him—and ran headlong into the side of a building. > Chapter 5: “A Party?” > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- After Mat Pat decided to high-five a building with his face, he collapsed onto his back. Looking up, he saw little birds flying around his head and tweeting. Of course, they were nonexistent, but he could not tell that. As he was looking up, he saw a rainbow streak racing toward the castle he had just fled. Wondering who this mare was, he decided to get up, but it was right at that moment that Pinkie Pie came up next to him. She beamed the widest, most impossible smile Mat Pat had ever seen. “Why, hello, there, cutie!” Pinkie said. “What are you doing out here, you silly-billy? We should head back to Twilight’s castle—there’s something I want to show you. It might make you happy!” she finished with a trill. “What is it? A portal back home so I don’t have to be confused by how this magical world filled with pastel-colored equines?” Mat Pat asked, hoping that’s what it was. “Nope, but it will make you feel a lot better and hopefully get your mind out of its sad state and turn your frown upside down!” With that, Pinkie Pie tied a blindfold over his eyes and lead Mat Pat back to the castle. Their hooves rang against the tile floors, strangely the only sound in the cavernous corridors. When they arrived at their destination—wherever that was—Pinkie removed the blindfold. She might as well have left it alone, for they were standing in pitch-black. “Why is it so dark in here? It’s too hard to see,” Mat said as he tried to squint to see better. It did not work. “SUPPRISE!” cried a chorus of voices from all around. The lights flashed on, and Mat Pat started as ponies of all colors and kinds jumped out of various hiding places. Once the crowd settled and began to turn to other activities throughout the room, however, Mat Pat calmed and, for the first time since coming to this world, did not feel the need to run away. For all that they were some peculiar breed of equine, these ponies were rather… human. “Oh, my,” came a meek voice after the initial cheers died away. “We didn’t scare you too much, did we?” A yellow pegasus squeezed through to the front of the crowd, long pinky mane covering one eye and trailing the ground. “I told you not to invite so many ponies, Pinkie,” Twilight said. Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes. “Please, Twilight, how is he supposed to have fun at his Welcome to Ponyville Party without having some new friends to party with?” Shaking her head, Twilight went up to Mat Pat and pulled him aside. “Could we talk a little in private?” Mat Pat tilted his head slightly at that and said, “Um… sure?” “Mr. Patrick,” Twilight began once they found a relatively quiet corner of the room. The other ponies were sufficiently distracted by the party that they did not give the pair a second glance. “I have a question, and I would like to know your answer.” “Sure, what is it? And please, call me Mat Pat.” Twilight hesitated, biting her lip. Then she took a deep breath, met Mat Pat’s gaze with her own, and asked, “Will you be my special somepony?” > Chapter 6: the answer > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- As Mathew Patrick was staring at Twilight, speechless, he didn’t notice the pink earth pony come up next to her. “Oh, forget it, Twilight, he wants me,” said Pinkie. “We are clearly a match made by Celestia. I mean, look at his beautiful chestnut-brown mane and those beautiful blue eyes.” Mat Pat blushed. He glanced back at Twilight to find her lavender fur had become a mix of white and yellow, and her mane now seemed to be on fire, her eyes burning. Even Pinkie Pie was looking at her, though neither they nor the other ponies at the party seemed the least bit surprised by the changes to Twilight’s physical appearance. “Well, I’m not saying—!” Twilight began, but Pinkie abruptly interrupted her. “Oh, hello again, Mr. Author. I see you’re trying to decide which one of us Mat Pat ends up with. Go with me!” Twilight rolled her eyes with an exasperated huff. “Pinkie Pie, stop trying to persuade him! Let him choose on his own!” "Thank you Twilight. Now, on with the story." Said the author. While the two quarreling mares were distracted with one another, Mat Pat had quietly slipped away to take shelter in the crowd. He had almost reached the door when the little purple dragon appeared in his path, arms crossed. “I don’t know what it is you’re doing to two of my friends, but don’t even think about doing it to Rarity,” Spike warned, punctuating the threat with a small jet of emerald flame. With a gasp, Mat Pat hastened at full speed past the dragon and out of the castle. The ponies going about their daily business paid him little mind as he wandered the streets of Ponyville. He kept the castle at his back, always moving away from it, until he reached a quieter, less trodden verge of the town. As the sun began to set, he found a rather decrepit shack with cobwebs in the windows. Mat Pat went inside and closed the creaking door behind him. The room was blanketed with layer upon layer of dust, so much so that his hooves left only a faint trail. Some tarps hung limp upon what he assumed to be various pieces of furniture. Tugging off one tarpaulin with his teeth in hopes of finding a couch to serve as a makeshift bed for the night, he discovered not furniture, but a structure of gears, steel, and springs. Clouds of dust filled the abandoned shack as Mat Pat went all about tearing away the tarps, revealing more glistening machinery and racks of engineering tools. He stared at the treasure trove around him, and his mind began to whir and tick. I can get home… > Chapter 7: "A Way Home?" > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- As MatPat had his back to the wall he could swear he heard the two love crazed mares, trying to find away in as he was panting heavily against the locked door. "Oh god there must be something in this old abandoned warehouse I can use, anything at all to barricade the doors and windows to keep those crazy mares out of here!" He cried to himself as he searched around in a frenzy. Eventually he found some boards and old chairs to his faint relief, quickly getting to work he put the wood pieces of boards on the window. Pushing the old chairs against the doors to lock them in place he let out a long exasperated sigh. If it was any bigger it would have cleaned off the dust from everything and made it sparkly, “Well I should probably start cleaning this place up, and hopefully find a way home.” He panted hoping the makeshift barricades would hold, “Let’s hope I can make something with these machines." He faintly limped in exhaustion looking at what few things littered the warehouse. Walking to the closest machine he started cleaning up, removing all the tarps from the machines and started dusting. All it needed was some cleaning music and it would make the perfect montage he thought, but there is unfortunately no music to speak of not even a radio to be seen. After a few hours of hard ever exhausting work later the machines were clean, and shiny as the day they had come into the shop. MatPat's mouth dropped at the lovely machines and how they shined in the warm lantern glow, "Like grand-pap said, ‘Never know what a little spit shine can do, when elbow grease is add it to it.’ I miss you pap, ya old codger.” He sighed as he wiped the sweat from his brow his eyes wavering as he gazed upon the work before himself, “Now I should probably get building." Getting started on building a device he would hope would get him home, but of course one could only hope he was doing it correctly. He had built stuff in the past to make his life a little simpler, but he has never done it to this degree or scale without first drawing up a blueprint. When he finished he wiped the sweat from his brow as he lay upon the floor, "Whew!” He exclaimed several hours later as he looked over at his work, “That took a long time to make,” He panted rolling over onto his side, “now I should probably go out and buy some fuel." He groaned looking at the boarded up windows and chair blocked doors, thankful neither had been torn apart by this point in time. With that MatPat took the barricades off the doors and he soon left to get some of the final parts he needed, fuel was not needed as there were so many options to choose from. Luckily he soon stumbled upon his favorite drink and one of the best fuel sources, Diet Coke, soon his mouth began to water as he began to imagine the taste. Without thinking he bought it and rushed to the warehouse shutting the door and barricading it once again. "I cannot believe I found this here but I wasted the money that lavender pony gave me now I don't have money for..." He trailed off soon looking at the soda realizing he can use it for the fuel. "I have the fuel now I can use it to get home because it has caffeine in it which if used properly." Just outside of the warehouse two mares, stalking the building looking for a way in, overheard this. The lavender mare came up with a diabolical plan to get MatPat to stay. Turning to the pink pony with the poofy hair she spoke. "Hey Pinkie Pie how much soda Diet or non-Diet do you think you could drink?" The wheels in her head were turning as her mind ticked away at the thought. Thinking about what little was left Pinkie recalled the only case of soda in all of Equestria. "Well I could drink it all,” She giggled with a devilish smile, “what are you planning Twilight?" The pink mare questioned as she began to shake in anticipation. Soon the lavender mare let her in on here plan whispering into Pinkie’s ear. “Oh wow that's a really good plan Twilight but will it work?" The pink mare asked obviously knowing that with twilight it will work. "Of course it will work Pinkie." Both mares gave a diabolical glance towards the building as they bit their lower lips, being in love will make even the most nicest of mares go a little crazy. Even two welders for the Elements of Harmony. MatPat was busy gorging himself on some diet coke, of the twelve pack he managed to take he already drank four. A small attempt to steady his nerves knowing he was going to be stepping back out, taking the couches away from the doors he was careful to leave the pipes wedged into the doors. Removing one of the pipes Matt cracked open the door, peeking through the crack he slowly opened the door a little more poking his head out. With a sigh of relief as he slipped out of the door, carefully shutting it hoping it didn’t make a sound. Running as fast as he could into the distance he looked back, a groaning sigh was all he gave as he hoped his efforts were for not. It wasn’t long before Pinkie took advantage of the entrance Matt had left for her. Twilight and her knew that it would be awhile before he came back, as the fuel he was looking for was hard to come by. Slipping in Pinkie began skulking around as she hopped throughout the warehouse with a crazy smile, finding what amount of soda remained Pinkie began to drink every last drop. Guzzling every can with little to no concern for the drops that began to make her fur sticky, as the last can hit the floor she began leave before her target could return. It wasn’t long before Matthew returned to the warehouse and slipped back inside, putting the couches against the doors once again he soon saw the empty cans on the floor. To say he was not happy was a gross understatement of how he truly felt. "NO~O." He screamed completely upset as soon both Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie were trying to get inside. “Well we have come full circle and now you know how I got here but I have no idea how to get out of this and I'm terrified.” Twilight giggles as he lets out a very loud terrified scream, showing he was completely and utterly terrified of those two crazed mares. Whom were almost in the warehouse, both mares snouts were in the building a good lenght Matthew knew he would soon have to leave. Leaving behind not just the building but sadly the machine that would have been his only ticket home. Unfortunately he was so caught up in his mind he didn't notice, Twilight Sparkle had cast a spell to knock him out. A spell she had fired the very second she had a clear shot, picking him up with a levitation spell she took him back to the castle. Setting MatPat onto her bed Twilight closed her door to make sure he got the rest he needed, after all he was going to need it tomorrow if she was going to wipe his memory of the human world. And make him suitable to be a citizen of equestria, with a special some pony waiting for him to return. With that she turned every light in the castle off and kissed spikes head goodnight. After Twilight turned off every light in the castle she made her way into her library, looking for a book titled "How to Wipe Some Ponies Memory". She found the book hidden under several stacks of other books and research, the spell sounded simple but the application of it was a whole other story. While it wiped his memories of the human world it would slowly alter what memories stayed, making him think he was a citizen of equestria and had been among every pony his whole life. As she was reading over the book a small purple and green dragon staggered as he made his way in with a rarity plushy as he has awoken from his slumber. Sleepily he rubs his eyes as he yawned. "T-Twilight what are you doing up so late at night? You should really get some sleep." Twilight looked over to see spike barely standing as his feet slowly shuffled across the floor. With a smile Twilight levitated him onto her back giving him a pat on the head. "I know Spike but I need to get this spell setup and ready, before our guest wakes up so he can stay here. And be a citizen to our wonderful lands Spike." spike looked at twilight with a worried look before he conks out to the sound of Twilight’s laughter.