Gilda has gone mad with murder and the Main Six have to stop her.
A while after the events of Griffon the Brushoff, it soon becomes apparent that someone is taking the lives of Ponyvillers. Someone who hates ponies. All evidence points to Gilda, so when a hot tip shows the location of Gilda's hideout, the Mane Six are called in to apprehend her and bring her to face justice.
This is rated "Gore" for (short) murder scenes, a modest amount of blood and some violence. But I'm trying to keep it down as much as possible. Comes seasoned with a hint of jokes.
This story was written for Rage Review's F*** this Prompt #10 Contest.
The Mane Six crossed a field towards a large cave on the border of the Everfree Forest. They all had their saddlebags on, and they looked like they were ready to do some spelunking.
"Remember," advised Twilight, "If Gilda truly is the Midnight Stranger murderer we're after, she'll be cornered in that cave. The most dangerous monsters are the ones that are cornered."
"We all have fought worse than her and still came home smell like daisies," said Applejack.
"I knew she wasn't the same from our time at flight school," said Dash as she looked at the ground, "but I still can't believe she's turned into... a serial killer."
"Still she was quite the Queen Meanie!" said Pinkie Pie.
"Yes, we remember that," sighed the violet unicorn, "and yet every victim was torn apart with claws. Not one monster has been spotted near Ponyville who could account for the killings. They were hunted down either on the borders of town, or late at night. This kind of thing required intelligent planning. The kind of hunt beyond a simple minded predator."
"Besides," said Rarity, "Predators would at least eat some of their kill."
"The only thing missing from the victims... were their heads."
"That just sounds so... horrible," whispered Fluttershy as she remembered her encounter with Gilda in town. The terror she felt when Gilda roared in her face.
"Well so far," noted Twilight, "The killer has managed to surprise every victim. Since we're wary of the killer, I don't think they can get away with that."
"Ya got that right, sugarcube!" exclaimed Applejack.
"Just remember that we're here to take the killer back to Canterlot alive. We're no vigilance committee after all."
"Ah hear ya."
The others nodded in agreement. So they walked forward until some odd scent came to their noses.
"What all is that?!" asked an alarmed AJ.
"Oh no," said Flutters softly.
The others looked in her direction as she cringed.
"That smell," she said, "I've come across it before looking after the critters of the Everfree Forest. It's the smell of a fresh carcass. The smell of death."
Rarity gulped as she listened.
"I wonder if it could be related?" mused Twilight as she headed off in the direction of the smell.
"Careful there sugarcube," advised the orange Earth pony, "The monster than dun this might be close by as well."
"Oh, we're all going to be careful," said Rarity as she glanced towards Rainbow Dash.
"What?!" she asked back.
They soon came across the headless carcass of a large bear.
"This here bear sure weren't killed fer tha food."
"It kinda looks like a monster," said Twilight, "but one interested in trophy collection."
"I know Gilda is competition driven," said Dashie, "but... this is nuts."
"We have no proof it was her who did this."
"Well who in tarnation else would it be?!"
"There's no point in hanging around here any longer," she said as she looked at the distress in the face of Fluttershy, "Let's keep going."
The others nodded as they moved on. Soon, they found themselves at the entrance to a cave. Judging by the size of the passage in, it had to be a pretty large one.
"Just remember to stay together and cover each other's backs," advised the violet unicorn.
The rest nodded. Being the bold ones, Applejack and Rainbow Dash went in first. Twilight and Rarity were just behind in case they needed to use their magic to support them. They were using their magic at the moment to provide light for the others to see by. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were in the back of the group. Soon the tunnel came to a split, with one going right and downwards while the other turned left and did not go up or down.
"Do we all go right or left?" asked Applejack.
"Maybe we should split up and look for clues!" offered RD.
"I said we need to stick together!" replied the violet unicorn.
"It's not like we're a bunch of meddling fillies," sniffed Rarity.
"Fine!" replied the rainbow pegasus, "I'm sure this downward sloping tunnel just has to be the spoooOOOoookier way to go."
"Oh give it a rest there, sugarcube!"
RD just bust out laughing.
"Darling," sniffed the white unicorn, "If the killer's here, should we be making too much noise?"
She clamped her hooves over her mouth as she looked at the others wide-eyed. Her rainbow mane tossed back with the jerking movement of her head. After a moment of silence, they began moving down the downward sloping tunnel.
"Say Twilight," asked Pinkie, "Is a tunnel like an underground road?"
"I guess so," she replied as she looked back, "Why do you ask?"
"I just found a fork," she giggled as she picked up a silver fork.
"If that wasn't such a horrible joke," Twilight muttered, "I'd say we found our first clue."
"How is that all'a clue?" asked AJ as she raised an eyebrow.
"Griffons aren't really known for using silverware," she replied, "Mainly bowls, plates and cups."
"So maybe Gilda isn't our killer after all?" asked RD.
"We can't be sure until we either capture the real killer, or take Gilda back to Canterlot to be questioned there."
"Besides," added Rarity, "I have seen griffons use silverware. They were the more sophisticated ones like Gustav La Grande."
"I think that all rules out Gilda," chuckled AJ.
RD shot her a quick glare.
"What?!"
They continued to walk down the passage in silence.
"Well lookie here," mused AJ, "Here's a silver spoon just layin on the ground an all."
They paused as if waiting for something.
"I coulda swore that Pinkie woulda said something like 'Somepony lost the silver spoon from their mouth' or 'now they all can't spoon their special somepony'." Applejack and the others turned around to realize, "Hey! Where all did Pinkie and Flutters go?!"
"Quick!" said Twilight, "Go back and look!"
They rushed back up the tunnel until they got back to the fork.
"Check the entrance first," said RD, "Maybe Flutters got scared and ran."
"But what about Pinkie?" asked Rarity.
"She must have went along to make sure she stayed safe."
"I wish she would have said something to the rest of us," muttered Twilight.
They got back to the cave entrance and found nopony in sight. Spreading out, they searched the area for any signs of the two, but all of the bushes turned up either empty or had small hiding animals in them.
"Quick!" called AJ, "We all gotta go back to tha fork in the tunnel and go the other way!"
So they turned and ran back. Soon they were going down the other passage. They came across a pink body in a place where the cave opened up. It was littered with pony sized boulders.
"Pinkie?!" said Twilight as AJ and RD got to her.
Applejack checked her neck with her hoof as she said, "She ain't dead."
"But she's got a lump on the side of her head," added RD, "Somepony rang her bell but good."
"Where's Fluttershy?!" asked Twillie.
AJ looked ahead and said, "The tunnel goes on past here. Flutters musta kept running that way."
"Wait," said Twilight, "Neither Pinkie nor Fluttershy see well in the dark. Maybe Pinkie just hit her head on one of these boulders while she was chasing after her."
"Ah reckon that could be too."
Twilight used her magic to put Pinkie on her back before they continued to follow the passage. But she saw something ahead that caused her to say, "Rarity, turn off you horn light a moment."
"Dahling, I don't see what..."
"Just do it now please," she said as her own horn went dim.
When Rarity stopped the glow of her own horn, they could see a dim green light ahead of them.
"Oh my," said the white unicorn.
The group moved closed to find a glowing rubber ball on the ground. By the time they got to the green sphere, the light was dying away. Then the unicorns turned their horn lights back on again.
"I've seen these before," she said softly as she poked the dying light with her hoof, "It's a magical toy that's become very popular at night parties. You squeeze the ball to make it glow for several minutes, and then you throw it around in the dark. A little too juvenile for my tastes."
"Maybe Pinkie threw it ahead to light the way?" offered Rainbow.
"Why didn't she all just carry it?"
"Cuz d'uh, she was chasing after Flutters and had to use all her legs to keep up."
"I reckon that all makes sense."
"We can just ask her when she wakes up," said Twilight as the group moved on.
Soon they found themselves in a much larger cavern full of stalactites and stalagmites. The minerals leaching down from the ceiling made them more than one color that shown in the light of the unicorns horns.
"C'mon y'all. We ain't here ta sightsee."
They moved on until they saw a horrifying sight. Fluttershy's body impaled on a large stalagmite. Her wings were out and limp, but her flanks were facing them.
"NO!" yelled Twilight as she rushed up to her body. When they got there, her head was gone and there was much blood pooled under it.
"How did this happen?!" asked Twilight in dismay, "How did we lose them?!"
"Ah reckon ah don't know, sugarcube. Ah swore they was both right behind us until we all found the silver spoon."
"Me too!" agreed Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie started moaning.
"Oh good," said Rarity, "I think she's coming around."
"Pinkie?!" asked Twilight as she floated her down to the floor, "Pinkie?! What happened?!"
"My head," she moaned back.
"It's not much," she said as her horn glowed, "but this should dull the pain for a while."
Pinkie glowed until she stood up and smiled. "I feel good!" she said quickly.
"Now what happened with you and Fluttershy?"
"I guess she got spooked and started leaving," she replied, "so I did the good mare thing and followed."
"Why didn't you tell the rest of us?"
"You said we had to be more quiet," she reminded Twilight.
She grimaced as she continued, "So what happened after that?"
"I guess she got turned around and went down the wrong passage," she replied.
"And then?"
"Something must have spooked her because she took of flying in the dark. I couldn't keep up so I got a glowball, hit it against the tunnel wall to turn it on, and threw it ahead of me down the passage. I slipped while I was running and the next thing I know, I'm on Twillie's back with a splitting headache." She looked into Twilight's eyes as she asked, "Did you catch up with her?"
No one spoke until AJ pointed at her body with her hoof.
"OH NO!!" she cried in dismay. For a second, her mane went flat and straight (like Pinkamena). But that passed quickly.
"We have to stay together from here on out!" said Twilight, "If this is the Midnight Stranger's doing, then she must know these caves like the back of her hoof. The fact Flutters' head is gone... proves it."
"They ain't gonna take no more of us like that! I swear!"
"Then let's look around this area to make sure the killer isn't still here."
They nodded as they looked around.
"The killer must have stuffed her head in a leather satchel or something," she mused, "There's no sign of a blood trail away from the body. Even a normal cloth or burlap sack would leak blood or at least water soon if there's so much of it."
The others had no comment.
"This here cave's pretty big," commented AJ, "Ah can see how y'all could git lost in here."
"But I don't see signs of anyone else," added Rainbow.
"Any of y'all see another way outta here?"
"Not yet," replied Twillie.
"Oh look," said Pinkie, "Someone is stuck on knives!"
They turned to see a silver knife stuck in the loose rocks of the cave floor at her feet.
"Pinkie," sighed RD, "That's a butter knife. Hardly a tool of a serial killer. What is that even doing here?"
Rarity picked it up and stuffed it in one of her bags.
"Collecting evidence?" asked the violet unicorn.
"No, I'm taking it along with the spoon and fork because they're obviously solid silver." The others glared at her before she replied, "What?!"
AJ just sighed. "One of these here days..." she muttered.
"Whatever!" she replied as she turned up her nose.
The cave was in fact large and soon they were getting somewhat separated as they wove their way around the clusters of stalagmites.
"Hmm," said Pinkie, "Pinkie Pie is hungry. Pinkie Pie needs sandwich." She pulled a large multi-barreled gun from her mane as she said, "Oh that is not sandwich." She put it back as she pulled out a white bread sandwich with a toothpick through it and an olive. "This is sandwich!"
"Pinkie!" said AJ, "We ain't got time fer this!"
But Pinkie ate it saying, "Nom nom nom." Then she paused as she said, "What?! It's good."
RD groaned.
"Hmm. Maybe not such a good time to make that reference," she said as she swallowed.
"What all was that?!"
"Nothing!"
"Hey!" said Dash, "There's some water coming in here from a small hole over my head!"
"This must be where some of the water came in that originally formed these caverns," mused Twilight.
"Well unless y'all are a foal whose part mountain goat, ya ain't gettin out thatta way."
"Pity there's no time to record all this. This is surely one of the most interesting caves I've ever seen."
"Yeah yeah," muttered RD, "I'm sure somepony like Flim and Flam will turn this place into a tourist trap."
"That would truly be a shame."
"Whatever," she sniffed.
"Just a cotton pickin minute," said AJ as she looked around, "Where all is Miss Rarity?!"
"She was just here," said RD, "I swear."
Pinkie sprang out from behind a cluster of stalagmites. "Maybe she detected some gems!" she said in her usual giddy tone.
"Right now?!" she asked in dismay.
"She real generous an all, but her greed is gonna do her in one day."
"We gotta find her quick!"
The backtracked in search of Rarity until Twilight said, "Wait. Remember when Rarity was caught by the Diamond Dogs?"
"Yeah?" asked RD.
"I just need to use Rarity's gem seeking spell," she replied, "I'm sure that will take us where she went!"
"That all is brilliant!"
She cast the spell and looked about as she said, "There's a cluster of gems this way!" Her legs moved as she went in the direction her horn was pointing. They soon found a smaller passage leading away from the cave.
"How long has she all been gone?!"
"I... I don't know," replied Twilight, "The light from her horn should have been obvious."
"Well let's git down there and set Miss Rarity straight on things!" fumed AJ as she stomped ahead.
"Don't rush! It could be a trap and Rarity just might have walked right into it!"
"I'm not afraid!" said Rainbow Dash in a crouching walk.
"It's about common sense, not fear."
"Whatever."
"Pinkie Pie laughs in the face of danger!" laughed Pinkie.
"Whatever."
They continued to move ahead in silence. Up ahead, they saw a white body laying on the floor. It was their worst fears confirmed. Rarity was laying down on the path just before a pile of gems. They rushed ahead to see her head was gone and only a pool of blood remained.
"NO!!" screamed Twilight, "Not Rarity too!!"
The rest were struck speechless.
"Dagnabbit!" cussed Applejack, "We all gotta stop lettin ourselves git separated like this!"
"Former friend or no," swore Rainbow Dash, "She's going to pay for this!"
Now they were down by two: Fluttershy and now Rarity were gone. Their heads collected as sick trophies by most like Gilda the Griffon.
"Dagnabbit!" cussed AJ, "She dun killed two of us an we ain't even seen her yet!"
"Well no one still alive has," replied Twilight.
"Well this time we all is gonna stick together no matter what!"
"Agreed," she said as she looked around, "Still no blood trail we can follow." She turned to Rainbow as she asked, "Has Gilda ever planned something to this level of detail?"
"Yeah," she replied, "But that was back in the Flight School days when we pranked the bullies and the bad flight instructors. It was never anything mean spirited."
"Ponies change," she said looking down.
"I guess so," she sighed, "but I never imagined she could become... a monster."
"Well we still can't prove Gilda did it," she replied, "There's still a chance it's somepony else."
RD nodded glumly.
"Ah still feel kinda bad about leaving the bodies just lying here."
"There will be plenty of time to properly inter them both once we're done here," said Twilight.
"Ah reckon so," she said as she looked down and away from Rarity's body.
"It looks like this passage just loops back to the main cavern," she noted as she looked at the outgoing tunnel to the side.
"Then the killer is probably not very far away," said Dashie.
AJ and RD took the lead around the passage as they indeed looped their way back into the main cave. Twilight and Pinkie followed along as the unicorn's horn glowed to light the way ahead. Soon they came back to the tunnel that lead them into the large cavern area in the first place.
"Maybe the killer doubled back to stash the victims heads in their creepy trophy room," suggested Dash spookily.
"This here ain't the time fer that, sugarcube!"
"Well if I didn't have humor to fall back on, I'd been totally out of my mind with terror," said Pinkie, "I think Dash is using that as a coping mechanism as well... that and her false bravado."
"My what now?!" asked the rainbow pegasus as she stared at Pinkie.
"Nothing to see here!" she replied, "Just move along!"
She snorted before she started walking again, and Twilight just face-hoofed herself.
"Sometimes I all jus don't get ya, Pinkie," sighed Applejack.
"I hear that so much!" she replied.
"The thing that bothers me most is that Pinkie Pie's Pinkie Sense hasn't gone off once even though there's been two murders," mused Twilight as she walked.
"That is sooo strange!"
"Almost too strange," said AJ as she looked at Pinkie suspiciously.
"What?!"
"Uh... ya got some sandwich left in yer teeth there," she lied.
Pinkie took the toothpick from the sandwich and picked her teeth a moment. Then she rubbed them as she asked, "Did I get it?"
"Yeah. Ya got it."
"I never saw anything," muttered RD.
They came back to the fork in the tunnel.
"Oh look," said Pinkie as she looked down, "Another fork!"
"What is this," moaned Twilight, "A running gag about forks in the underground road?!"
"Of course not silly!" she replied, "Everypony knows a fork can't run!"
Everyone but Pinkie groaned loudly as she put the silver fork into her mane.
"And why are YOU collecting silverware?" asked RD.
"I don't know really," she replied, "Just have this Pinkie Sense kind of feeling I'm going to need one later."
"Ah-huh," said AJ as she narrowed her eyes, "And ya don't have those with you now?"
"Oh, nothing that's pure silver!" she replied happily.
"Expecting a weretimberwolf attack?" asked Twilight as she raised an eyebrow.
"Ya never know!" she answered as she bounced down the downward sloping passage.
"I'll asked the Headless Horse about that when we see her," muttered Twilight.
"Woo! We got a joke out of Twilight!"
AJ and Dashie resumed the lead as they headed further down beneath the surface. They soon came upon another fork in the tunnel, but there was no fork left in the fork this time. Twilight moved up until both ways were lit by her horn.
Suddenly, a voice from the left said, "Hey dweeb." AJ dashed off towards the voice, but Rainbow suddenly sprint off down the other passage.
"Horsefeathers!" cussed Twilight, "We're split up again!"
Pinkie took a glowball from her mane and pressed it down in her teeth to light it up. "Look," she said through her teeth, "You get after Dashie and I'll go after Jackie!"
Twilight nodded as she sprinted off after the blue pegasus. She travelled a while in the twisting passage before she caught up, and every once in a while, she could have sworn there was a brown feather on the floor. She soon came to her stopped at a shaft leading even deeper into the ground, but it looked like a tight squeeze for one the size of Gilda.
"I'm sure Gilda must have come this way!" swore Dash as she looked back. "Hey, where's Pinkie and AJ?"
"Ugh..." she panted, "They ran off after Gilda's voice. It came from the other direction."
"What da what?!"
"Perhaps it was an echo," she mused, "Those can be misleading in a place like this."
"Who knows who long it would take to squirm down this shaft," she replied, "We better go back and check on the others first!"
Twilight nodded as Dashie led them back the way they came. It took more time since they weren't running now. Soon they passed the fork in the tunnel. Then they heard Pinkie calling out for help. It was the same thing over and over, and soon they could hear her clearly.
"Help!" she called, "I've fallen and I can't get out!"
They stopped at a place where a hole was just off to the side of the tunnel. The light showed Pinkie at the bottom of a small pit, but it was apparently too steep for Pinkie to climb up from.
"I'm so sorry," she said, "I tripped chasing Applejack and fell down this hole!"
"Well I don't see anything more than a few bumps and bruises," replied Twilight, "We better get moving if you're up to it."
"Oki doki loki!" she said as she bounced along.
The tunnel opened into another cavern, but much smaller than the last.
"AJ must have been nearly blind when she ran in here," said Twilight, "I hope she's alright."
But the light from Twilight's horn showed otherwise.
"OH NO!" screamed Twilight, "Not Applejack too!"
This time, her headless body was hung from a large stalactite by her hind legs and her own rope. The blood was still seeing from her headless wound. But another pool of blood was a few yards away.
"OH NO!" said Pinkie.
"That monster!" screamed RD.
"She's mocking us!" said Twilight, "If she took the time to do this to Applejack, she must really be getting cocky!"
The surviving ponies were going down the passage past Applejacks body with Rainbow Dash in the lead. Twilight followed as her horn glowed and Pinkie was right next to her.
"I can't believe it," said the rainbow pegasus, "First Flutters, then Rarity and now AJ."
"None of us can believe that," said the violet unicorn.
"As soon as we get this done with," agreed Pinkie, "I think I'm going to lose my mind over here."
"No. As friends, we'll somehow get through this!" she swore.
"Yeah, we'll get through," said RD as if she was trying to convince herself of something she didn't quite believe.
As they walked along, something changed. Suddenly Twilight stopped as she said, "Wait a minute."
"What?!" asked RD as she looked back.
"This passage," she said, "It's been worked over into a rough tunnel. Look at how rectangular the passage has become."
"So?!" she replied, "Your point is?!"
"That some group of ponies or perhaps some other race did this on purpose," she replied, "but they didn't go all the way into these caves for some reason."
"I don't see how this matters!"
"There might be somepony or some other race ahead of us," she warned, "Perhaps even Diamond Dogs."
"We'll beat up that problem when we get there!" she growled back, "Now come on and stop sightseeing!"
"Can't we all just get along?" asked Pinkie.
"SHUT UP PINKIE!" they both hissed as one as they turned to glare at her. Yet they both continued to walk ahead.
She stopped and blinked.
"I'm sorry," said Twilight as her face softened, "I think the pressure is getting to me."
"I'm sorry too," added Dashie, "This... is getting to be too much."
"Oki doki loki!" said the pink pony as if it were all already water under the bridge.
They continued for a while until they came upon something carved into the wall. Twilight stopped to squint at the words once she lit her horn bright enough to see them clearly.
"Well what does it say?" asked Dashie.
"Beware the Black Beast of D'uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."
"What the hay does that even mean?!"
"I have never heard of anything like it!"
"Could that message have been unfinished?" she asked as she cocked her head, "Maybe while under attack?"
"Why by Celestia's horn would they take all the time to carve out all those extra 'h' letters if they were under attack?"
"Don't look at me, bookworm," she replied, "I'm just visiting here."
"Arg," she moaned, "Another mystery for another time."
The two walked ahead while they looked at each other.
Then Pinkie pointed with her hoof as she said, "Oh, look at that nice wooden door!"
They turned to see what Pinkie was looking at dark brown wooden door with brass fixtures and doorknob almost right in front of them.
"That door is way too nice to have been placed there by a Diamond Dog or some ordinary miner," mused Twilight.
Pinkie just pushed her way past RD to open it as she and Twilight just looked at her slack jawed. "What?!" she asked, "I thought we were in a hurry to catch the killer?" Then she casually strolled in before they followed. Once inside, they realized that magical heatless smokeless torches were placed every twenty feet or so along the wall for almost complete illumination. The place was not kept up very well as dust was almost everywhere. It looked like only parts of it had been disturbed and recently. "Wow, this place is just so creepypasta!"
"What da what?!" asked Dashie.
"Nothing!"
"That's odd, but the only door is that one down the hall," mused Twilight, "I wonder if they were going to add more rooms here?"
"Maybe they abandoned the place because it's haunted by ghosties!" said Dashie spookily.
"I giggle at the ghosties!" replied Pinkie.
"Not now," said Twilight.
"What?!"
"Well if Daring Do were here," said Dashie, "She'd slip up to the door and hear what's on the other side."
"Why didn't you do that back at the last door?" asked Twillie.
"Because d'uh! The first door is never the one that has the trap or ambush!"
"So the world is a Daring Do Novel?"
"Well..." she said awkwardly, "How do you know it isn't?!"
Twilight sighed.
"I think that would be really COOL!" gushed Pinkie.
"Have you even read a Daring Do Novel?"
"No," she replied, "Do I have to?"
"It helps," said RD as she came up to the door and listened. "Ahah," she pronounced, "Since I don't hear anything, it must be a trap or an ambush!"
"Huh?" asked the violet unicorn.
"D'uh," said Pinkie, "Obviously Daring Do rules!"
"So what would she do?"
"Open the door and duck!" she replied, "I suggest you two move out of the way of the door."
So Pinkie and Twilight stepped to the opposite sides of the door. Then Dash opened the door and ducked, but nothing happened.
"So?" asked Pinkie eagerly.
"Unless the trap or ambush is in with this old junk, I don't see anything."
"Old junk?" she asked as she and Pinkie looked it. The room was fully of an assortment of valuable antiques of many stripes and types. There was statues, pony busts, oil paintings, jeweled cases and ivory scroll cases. On the walls hung bronze armor pieces, weapons and shields from a bygone era. It was all clearly hundreds of years old. "By Celestia," she gushed, "Such a find..." The room was quite large with another fine door at the other end.
"I'd rather find that killer!" growled Dashie. She moved across the room while the other two marveled at the treasures.
"OH MY CELESTIA!" gushed Pinkie as she looked at something encased in glass on a stand like some kind of museum display, "That's a 400 year old joy buzzer!"
"I don't even want to know how you know that," muttered Twilight as she looked over a Starswirl the Bearded bust.
"Hey, I hear something on the other side," said Dash as she listened.
"Can you hear what's being said?" asked Twilie.
"Something like 'What's with all the blasted CUPCAKES in here?!'" she replied, "I think she said, 'It looks like the Rainbow Factory dumps all of their rainbow toxic waste in here'?"
"I have no clue," muttered Twilight.
"It has to be Gilda," she said as reached for the doorknob, "I'm going in there to take her down!"
"No wait!" called Twilight, but at the same time something else happened.
"This torch is different," said Pinkie as she grabbed it, "Maybe it leads to more... treasury stuff!"
CLICK!! In almost an instant, a huge bronze wall dropped down cutting the room in half with RD on one side and the other two left behind her.
"Blast!" said Twilight as she closed her eyes and her horn glowed brighter, "There's a spell blocking teleportation in here! I guess I'm going to have to do this OLD SCHOOL!" The wall began to glow as she tried to lift it, but it was even heavier than the combined weight of the Ursa Minor and the water tower full of milk. It took all of her focus and several minutes to lift the barrier high enough that they could squirm underneath it. She was too focused to pay attention to anything else going on around her. Even Pinkie was not making a sound. Sweat covered her face as the barrier moved upwards inch by inch. "Almost there," she groaned.
"Okay," said Pinkie at last, "You get on your belly. Then I'll crawl under. Once I'm past, I'll take you by the hooves and pull you through. That way, you won't risk breaking concentration."
"Good... idea..." she panted as she laid on her belly.
Pinkie slipped under, but the door slipped down a little. "Just a little longer!" she pleaded as she grabbed Twilight's hooves, "You can do it!" She dragged Twilight under the door as she strained, and then her will broke. The wall crashed down clipping the hind hooves of Twilight with a huge crash.
"Uh, my hind hooves are caught!" she said as she panted.
"It's lucky I carry a hoof trimming kit as a party favor!" she said as she pulled a box from her mane.
Twilight raised an eyebrow.
"What?" she asked, "You think only Rarity cared about the condition of her hooves?" She took the large hoof file out.
"Forget about me!" pleaded Twilight, "I can get out myself! Go ahead and help Rainbow Dash defeat Gilda!"
"Oki doki loki!" she said as she bounced towards the door.
Twilight turned her head as she used the file to chip away at the edges of her trapped hooves. It took a couple of minutes, and she was sure she was going to getting the third degree from Lotus and Aloe at the next spa visit, but there was no time for being neat.
"OH NO!" screamed Pinkie from the other room.
Once Twilight freed herself, she rushed into a gruesome scene. An ancient spear had been used to impale both Dash and Gilda through their guts. They were facing each other as if they were fighting at the time. The spear was piercing the door behind it by several inches. Both of the bodies were headless, marked by the blood that flowed from their necks.
"Then Gilda couldn't have been the killer at all!!" screamed Twilight.
"Who then?!" asked Pinkie.
There was a trail of blood leading from the bodies to another door across the room, and there was no attempt to hide or contain it. They walked to the ajar door and pushed in to see the walls covered with severed heads. All of the victims and all of their friends were there somehow stuck to trophy plaques. None of the heads seem to have decayed regardless of how long had passed since their deaths. The blood trail came up to a line of trophies starting with Flutters, then Rarity and AJ. The blood trail went up to the heads of RD and Gilda.
Twilight's face contorted into a mask of madness as she slowly turned on Pinkie.
"Twilight?" asked Pinkie.
"It all makes sense now," she chuckled darkly, "All of it!"
"What does?"
"The killer!" she yelled, "IT'S YOU!! YOU MONSTER!!"
"What?!" she replied, "Are you loco in the cocoa?!"
"What are you going on?!" asked Pinkie at the mad Twilight.
"It was you all along!" she screamed hysterically.
"HOW?!"
"Every time one of us died," she hissed, "You were mysteriously not accounted for or had some excuse."
"HUH?!"
"Before Fluttershy was found dead, you were found with a lump on your head while you were following her. You did that without letting any of us knew she tried to run away. I didn't think about it at the time, but I think now that that blow shouldn't have been hard enough to knock you out for more than a few seconds. It wasn't that serious at all."
"No way!"
"Then before we found Rarity's body, you were again absent for more than a few minutes."
"I was staring at a rock formation in the shape of Celestia's... uh..."
"Go on."
"Okay, it was shaped just like her butt! Tail and everything!" she blurt out, "The only thing missing was her cutie mark so I drew that in with my crayons!"
"A likely story," she continued, "and then you happened to conveniently fall into a hole while Applejack was murdered. Again, you came out of that hole hardly scratched."
"You know I can be a little clumsy at times!" pleaded Pinkie.
"Now you 'accidentally' trip a trap cutting us off from Gilda and Rainbow Dash. You knew it would take all my focus AND a lot of time to lift that dropped wall, so you could have slipped around any number of ways to murder them while I was busy."
"You're getting paranoid again!" growled Pinkie.
"So now you're going to a cell for the rest of your life!" she screamed, "But first... first... I'M GOING TO HURT YOU FOR ALL THE PAIN YOU PUT US THROUGH!!" Her horn glowed as several spears also glowed and floated into the air.
Pinkie screamed as she dove towards another door leaving the trophy room. She smashed through even as the spears embedded into the wall around the doorway. "STOP IT!" she yelled, "IT WASN'T ME!"
"THEN WHO WAS IT, YOU LIAR?!"
She scrambled wildly down the hall as more spears chased her.
"Just how many spears were in that room?!"
She could hear the insane cackles of Twilight as she walked after the terrified pink pony. Half a dozen broadswords floated all around her. She looked even more crazy than before, like the time she missed a friendship report to Celestia and went off the deep end.
"YOU BETRAYED US PINKIE!" she snarled, "YOU BETRAYED ME!!"
"I didn't do anything!"
"MAYBE I'LL LET YOU EXPLAIN THAT TO THE JUDGE IN TARTARUS!!"
Pinkie scrambled down the corridor towards the next door. She just smashed through that because of her adrenaline high. Behind her, Twilight roared like a monster. Looking around, she realized she just crashed into a full sized kitchen. So she shoved the heaviest counter in front of the door and waited. ...
Twilight wailed as they doorway between her and Pinkie was blocked. She stomped up to the door and began pounding on it with her front hooves.
"Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie!" she huffed, "Let me in!"
"Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!"
"Then my horn shall glow and glow, and I'll BLOW THIS DOOR IN!"
"Technically I already broke down the door..."
Twilight roared out her rage. Then she blasted the obstruction with a blast spell reducing it to splinters. Stomping into the room, she looked for the pink pony.
"Ah my friend," said a voice nearby in a terrible impersonation of a Prench accent, "Welcome to Che Pink! The finest Equestrian restaurant in this whole dungeon!"
She looked to see somepony dressed in a full white chef outfit complete with the poofy white hat.
"HUH?!" she growled.
"Come come," she said as she pushed Twilight towards a table, "You are the early so it will take a moment to complete your order. Would you like some wine while you wait?"
"ARGH?!"
"The waiter is our sick so I have to do this all myself," she mumbled as she pushed the raging violet unicorn down into a chair, "I can never count on that blasted dog unless he's had his snack fix." The chef then secured a bib about her neck.
"HURRR?!"
"Nothing!" she said as she ran back to the stove.
Twilight started to turn her head.
"No peeking!" yelled the chef, "This is professional secrets back here!"
So she turned back to look at two full place settings before her.
"Oh darn!" she said, and then added as Twilight started to look again, "Still no peeking!" So she snapped her gaze forward again. Then she felt a blindfold tied over her eyes as the chef said, "I'm so sorry, but the pasta she will be much better if you no look at it."
"GRR?!"
The next thing she knew, she was hogtied to the chair with cooked strand pasta, a large pot was slammed over her head, and then something was used to smack into the side of the pot hard making her ears ring. Then there was the sound of running away and a door opening and slamming.
"RRRAAARRR!!!" she screamed as she used her magic to blow away the pasta, the blindfold and the pot off her head. It also wrecked most of the kitchen in the process, "I KILL YOU NOW!!!" Oddly enough, something happened to make sure she would never get her wish. ...
'That should get me a minute to think,' thought Pinkie as she ran down the hall. 'By Celestia, I don't want to hurt Twilight, but I'm running out of choices here!' She paused as she thought, 'THINK! There must be something in my mane that can help!' She had a few minutes to set something up when she realized Twilight wasn't coming after her. There was an odd quiet which had fallen over the whole place. After the magical explosion, there was nothing. Nothing at all. She waited a few more minutes to be sure.
She slowly made her way down the hall back to the wreckage of the kitchen. Then she saw the reason there was no pursuit. The headless body of Twilight Sparkle was still sitting in the chair, but this time her head was right where it had fallen from her body.
"NO!!" screamed Pinkie.
"Now it's just down to you and me!" hissed a voice, "Or should I say... ME AND ME?!" She turned to see Pinkamena Diane Pie wearing a pair of fake griffon talons over her front hooves. They were soaked in the blood of her victims.
"Why?!" she screamed back at Pinkie, "You have to ask why?!"
"Obviously!"
"Very well," she smirked as she perched a brown fedora on her head, "Time to monologue."
Pinkie nodded.
"You're a tad dense at times," she began, "so I'll just spit it out. I'm a mirror clone of you. One who didn't want to be happy!"
"Uhuh."
"In fact, the first thought I ever had was KILL GILDA!!"
"But the others?!" she pleaded, "Why kill all the others?!"
"Practice for the day I killed Gilda!" she yelled, "They were all so happy that they deserved to die anyways!"
"Huh?" asked Pinkie as she cocked her head.
"Idiot! I want everyone to be as unhappy and suffer like ME!"
"But you killed your friends too!" cried the real Pinkie.
"They were never MY friends!" she screamed back, "Now will the real Pinkie Pie please sit down!"
She sat down in the chair across from Twilight's body.
"Now where was I?"
"You were giving me the whole 'Why I am so evil speech'," replied the real Pinkie evenly.
"Oh right. While the rest of the clones ran around causing havoc, I ran away to the forest to plot my revenge!" gloated the evil mirror Pinkie, "I took the persona of the Midnight Stranger to help cover my trail and deter those from coming close to my lair."
"How's a bear..."
"SHUT UP!" she yelled, "I'M NOT DONE YET!"
"Oki doki loki."
"Wow. That really gets old after a while," she growled.
"I yam what I yam," she replied happily.
"The breaking the fourth wall jokes are even worse!"
"Ack-ack-ack-ack..."
"STOP IT!" she yelled, "Now before I was interrupted, I was going to tell you how I sent a fake letter to Gilda to lure her in here on the premise that Rainbow Dash was going to apologize to her. To say she was sorry for how her friends treated her back in her last visit. I had a feeling Gilda wouldn't turn it down. I was planning to make her suffer. To torture her. But then you meddling fillies showed up."
"Sheesh," groaned Pinkie, "Tough audience. We figured out what was going on and came here shortly after Gilda arrived, I take it? So you're going to kill me and take my place to do something evil back in Ponyville... Something like killing more ponies to put into baked goods!!"
"What?! That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard in my life! It's right up there with the notion that pegasus murder their flight school failures to make rainbows!"
"Now that I think about it," she replied, "That was really a stupid thing of me to say." She then laughed a while. "C'mon," giggled Pinkie, "You can laugh too!"
"Laughter is not my thing sis," she said darkly, "KILLING IS! Time to continue this NIGHTMARE!"
"Oh," replied the real Pinkie as she calmed down, "Is it time for me to die?"
"YES!" replied the Pinkamena as she lunged in with her claws. But she only got a shallow cut across her victim's shoulder as she dove from the chair. She scrambled out the door as the murderous clone ran after. Slash after slash followed as she clipped off pieces of the pink tail before her. She ran into a room without an exit and pushed back into the wall as far as she could. Confidently, she walked in glaring at her victim. Pinkie looked terrified as the real monster drew closer.
She pulled the silver fork from her mane.
"Is that... supposed to scare me?!"
Then Pinkie began to laugh.
"What's so funny?!" hissed the mirror clone.
She looks aside and whispers, "I know what I'm about to say is totally going to be out of character for me..."
"WHO THE HAY ARE YOU TALKING TO?!"
"Nopony!" she blurt out as she reached up for a cord with the fork and hooked it with the tines.
Following the cord, she look to where it split over her head. Then followed it down. Looking on both sides, she saw both Pinkie's party cannon and the multibarrel gun both pointing right at her. The cord was set to both of the triggers/fuses.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BITCH!!" yelled Pinkie as she pulled the cord to fire both guns.
[~fin~]
PS: Okay. Not quite. Pinkie returned to Ponyville to explain what happened when Celestia came to hear everything, except of course she blamed Twilight for the death of the mirror clone. She claimed that Twilight set up the trap while she was knocked out and had no idea that the mirror clone had killed Twilight while she was unconscious in the kitchen. She even had the lump on her head to prove it. Nopony wanted to admit that Pinkie was capable of killing, so no one questioned her or even investigated all that hard. Now Celestia had the task of finding five new fillies with attitude to become the New Elements of Harmony Rangers. (cough)
