Dear Princess Celestia,
I have recently decided to document what happens when you mix ponies and alcohol. I believe that the best way to observe this would be to have at least one of each species of pony present. Serendipitously, my six friends and I are different species of pony, two of each represented. So, I will use this group, including myself, as those to receive the alcohol. The individual effects on each of us is recorded in the enclosed documents.
Be warned, there may be a few... Shocking reports. Come to think of it, I know there will be. Just... Please don't do anything about what you find in the reports, we didn't know what we were doing.
Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle
8:00 PM:
Pinkie Pie was generous enough to lend us her house for the party, which began a few minutes ago. It's just us Elements of Harmony attending. I was the one to introduce the alcohol, and it was met with mixed results. Pinkie Pie, of course, was elated and managed to down a bottle in seemingly less than a second. Applejack seemed like she has tried it previously, and just sat at a table drinking a small glass with Rarity, who stuck woth a bottle of wine that she brought herself. Rainbow Dash downed a few glasses, got a headache, and sat down in a corner. Fluttershy tried a shot, and was apparently revolted by the taste, so she got herself a glass of water and sat down with Pinkie Pie.
I poured myself a glass and sat down at the table with Applejack and Rarity, who were having an argument about something petty. I honestly wasn't paying attention; I was focusing on the effects of the alcohol. Almost immediately, it had built up a sort of mental haze. It was very faint at first, but as I drank more, I began to think less clearly. When I tried to utilize magic, it was weaker than normal.
Applejack noticed, and said something about a "Low Tolerance" for alcohol. I don't know what she meant, but I think she was right.
10:00 PM:
I can barely think at all... Honestly, I'm amazed that I'm able to write this down. I got a headache and had to lay down, but soon after Pinkie Pie brought something out, something called Tequila. According to her, it's supposed to help subdue the headache... I think she was lying. My head hurts worse and I can't think very well.
Soon after bringing out the Tequila, Pinkie Pie disappeared upstairs with Rainbow Dash, Celestia knows what they're doing up there... Geez, my head hurts...
12:00 AM:
Wasn't I unposed to write this an hour ago? Or is it an hour from now? I don't know... It feels like there's a cloud floating around in my brain. My vision is hazy and I don't know what I'm saying... Fluttershy decided to finally try some Tequila, and we found ourselves making out under a table... I'm laughing at everything... I cant remember much of anything, either... What's going on with my head?
8:00 AM:
I just woke up a few minutes ago. My head hurts like crazy and I can't think very straight. At least I can think, unlike last night. I've thrown up twice since my awakening, and honestly, I regret ever drinking last night. Applejack said I got "drunk." I take that to mean that I overindulged in alcohol. Well, apparently Rarity and Applejack were the only ones of us to stay sober (Which Applejack says is the opposite of being drunk), and they put Fluttershy and I to bed after we passed out.
10:00 AM:
I finally feel well enough to go back home. I've got a throbbing migraine, sporadic vomiting, and the runs. Nothing Spike will have to help. From what I can tell, something... Uncouth occurred between Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie last night. Sweet Celestia, I sound like Rarity... The alcohol must still be affecting me... Why did I do this study in the first place?
8:00 PM:
Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh, I get to have a PARTY at my house! Well, this isn't exactly abnormal, but it's always exciting to have a party! Twi brought out some beer and said it was for this "Collaborative Study" or something else all sciencey... But I just couldn't help downing a bottle! The stuff is sooooo tasty! Although I think I'm the only one who's used to drinking, because Rainbow Dash only had a few glasses before she got a headache and had to go sit in a corner! Oh, Rainbow Dash...
This party's really boring, though. Twilight only brought some cheap beer, and Rarity's not sharing her wine. And of course Applejack's cider isn't in season, so there's none of that... I might just have to break into my secret stash of tequila to spice this party up a bit. After all, what's a party with beer if no one gets drunk?
10:00 AM:
I had three bottles of tequila myself before bringing out the rest... Rainbow Dash got drunk and dragged me upstairs for a bit of "fun," as she put it. I told her I had to "freshen up" beforehand... But that's just because Twi's making me write these dumb reports... Well, there's Dashie! I'm gonna go have some "fun" in my bedroom!
8:00 AM:
Oh, Celestia... I just woke up beside Rainbow Dash... In my bed... I just found the reports on the bathroom counter... I think something really really bad happened last night, but neither of us remember anything, so we can't exactly make a definitive assumption about wether or not we... Did it.
Well, I sure hope we didn't! Because if I did do it, it would have been my first time, and I want to be able to remember my first time! Well, Dashie obviously shouldn't drink. Upon waking up, she immediately asked for a bottle of booze, that silly pony! She's a hopeless drunk, and I'm a bottomless pit.
I sure hope Twi can do another one of the studies sometime!
