> King Mumble Grumble
>  by Roisin the Irish pony
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Or Princess Rarity Finally Learns A Lesson
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A great king called Discord lived in the far away land of Equestria had a very beautiful daughter called Rarity. She was very beautiful but she was also extremely proud, conceited and haughty and fussy that all the princes of the lands roundabout had no hope of marrying her. All she did was make fun of them.

One day, Discord held a big party and invited all her suitors. They all sat in a row, according to rank- dukes, earls, princes, kings and counts and barons and knights. When Rarity  camein, she walked past all of them, and as she passed them, she had something spiteful to say for all of them.

The first one was too fat: 'He's as round as a tub', she said. He promptly burst into tears.

The second was too tall (according to her anyway): 'What a giraffe!' she said. He glared at her.

The next was too short: 'What a dumpling!' She declared. He looked the other way and laughed nervously.

The next was took pale: 'Wallface!' She proudly called him. His face then got even paler!

The next blushed easily, so she called him a tomato. He blushed.

The sixth wasn't straight enough, so she said that he was like an old stick. She always had a terrible thing to say about each and every one of them.  But she laughed most of all at a good king at the very end of the room. He was very quiet and shy, and when he talked, he usually mumbled and grumbled.

'Ah, hah!' She cried out with glee. 'He cannot talk properly! I shall call you King Mumble Grumble!' So, he got the nickname of Mumble Grumble.

At Rarity's unkind words, he smiled softly, with a mischevious twinkle in his eyes and walked out. Nobody noticed him leave.

But Discord was very angry with his daughter's behaviour and vowed that whether she liked it or not, he would pick a husband for her. She didn't take that seriously, she'd received enough unfulfilled and empty threats from him over the years.

A few days later, a beggar pony,  by  the name of Big Mac, came to the castle. He explained that he was a farmer by trade, but he left his sister and grandmother running the farm, while he went a singing in order the supplement the income. He began to sing under the window and begged for money. The king liked this stallion's fine, bass voice and allowed him into the castle.

So, the guards brought this dirty, smelly stallion in, and when he sang before the king and Princess , he begged for a gift. His voice was vaguely familiar to the Princess, but she didn't dwell on it.

'You are an excellent singer and a fine worker. Unfortunately, I cannot give you what you deserve. But here, I give you my daughter in marriage. She has been Spoilt and needs to be taught a lesson. If you help her reach her full potential, I'll be immensely proud to have you as my son in law.'

The Princess begged, pleaded, cried, screamed, hoped and threatened, but to no avail. Her father said adamantly, 'I have sworn to marry you off to whoever I chose, and I will keep that promise.'

Nothing could change Discord' mind, so the registrar was called and the Princess was Wed.

When the ceremony was over, immediately, her father said to her, 'Now my dear, you must leave here, for you are married now and you must follow your husband.'

So the singer left the castle and took his bride with him.

Soon, they came to many, many acres of apple trees.

'Pray,' she said, 'Who owns all this land?'

'Why,King Mumble Grumble. He owns all this. He's the one that you rejected. I only rent from him.'

'Oh woe is me!' Wailed Rarity, falling onto her travel fainting couch. 'If only I'd married King Mumble Grumble, for now, I'm practically destitute!'

'I don't see why you should say such things,' said Big Mac in his soft, calm and practical way. 'Am I not a good enough husband for you?'

At last, they came to a farmhouse. It was their home Rarity shrieked with horror when she saw it and nearly fainted. 'What a terrible place! To whom does this dirty little hole belong to?'

Big Mac said, 'That's our house, where you and I are going to live with my family.'

'Where are your servants?' She cried.

'What would we do with servants? We cannot afford them, besides we all work together as a team. You will be working too.'

Big Mac introduced his new bride to his younger sisters Applejack and Applebloom and his sweet but forgetful grandmother Granny Smith. Applejack sort of liked Rarity, she saw the potential in her to be a good friend. She just didn't like the fact that she was Spoilt and selfish.

Since Rarity didn't know how to do anything, Applejack cooked the dinner. She also gave her a brief cooking lesson, but it didn't go too well. Rarity hated taking commands from someone of such a 'low class', that she refused to listen and ended up ruining her dish.

Early in the morning, Big Mac woke up Rarity at five to feed the animals. Rarity wasn't too happy about that. Back in the castle, she stayed in bed for most of the day. 

Rarity hated working on the farm and told Applejack so. Applejack hated having Rarity around, so she complained to her brother. So, Big Mac said to his wife, 'My dear, you need to work elsewhere during the day. There is much demand for baskets made of willows in the nearby town. You can make them to sell.'

Then Big Macwent out and cut willows and brought them to his wife, who was weaving the baskets in a workshop in town. She weaved baskets, but her poor Hooves got very sore.

'I see that this work doesn't suit you. I know! You can try to spin. There is much demand for it here too!'

So, she sat down and began to spin, but alas, the threads cut her tender Hooves until they bled.

'Oh dear,' sighed Big Mac when he saw the state of his poor wives Hooves. 'You need to do something, but you're too sensitive. I know! You can sell our apple products at the market!'

'Oh no!' She cried. 'If anypony from my father's court should come into town and see me, they would surely laugh at me!'

'Well, it's about time that ya stopped thinking about what others might think about ya, and start focusing on gelping other ponies!' Reprimanded Applejack, handing Rarity two carts overflowing with apple products to sell. 'Ah'm a working on the farm. We're all real busy, ya see, so ya have to do this job.'

At first the trade went well because many ponies, seeing such a beautiful mare, would buy her wares. They gave her friendly advice about things in general, and over time, made many new friends. The family had more money, and everypony was beginning to relax a little.

However, one day, two ponies were messing about at the market, knocking over her stands and crushing the food underhoof.

She began to cry and didn't know what to do! What would her husband say? So, she ran home and told him everything.

He gently wiped away her tears and told her not to worry. He told her to have some dinner and rest, because she's had a hard day. As she tossed and turned, trying to sleep, she finally realized that she did love her husband.

One day, Rarity had some wonderful news for her husband. She was pregnant and was due to give birth in eight months! The family decided to throw a small party and to invite all their friends.

At the party, she looked over her shoulder to see King Mumble Grumble! What was he doing here? Oh yeah, he was her husband's landlord. He was looking in her direction. He was coming over! She tried to hide, but it was too late!

'Excuse me miss,'he said, 'Please can I talk to you?

Rarity refused, picked up her skirts and was about to run away, when he could hold of her. He took off the fine robes to reveal Big Mac!

'Please don't be afraid.' He said in his most soothing voice.'I am King Mumble Grumble. I am King, because it's a nickname that I got, because I joint own a lot of land with my family. I brought you here because I loved you despite your behaviour. I saw the potential in you. I'm so sorry for lying to you. Please forgive me.'

And Rarity did. The party was magnificent. Everypony danced and sang and talked and laughed and ate and drank. They were all Merry. I wish that I'd been there to see it, don't you?

Anyway, Big Mac and Rarity's baby was soon born. It was a fully and they called her Candy Crush. Her parents raised her well, and believe me, they all lived happily, ever after,

THE END