In the blink of an eye
I was always taught that love is love. Age, race, gender, and distance were nothing but meaningless factors used to make certain relationships exist as an abomination through their eyes. If your love isn't acceptable to them then it was a crime to the highest degree. And when I say "them", I mean every hopeless pony believing in this nonsense. Who cursed us for loving differently than them and basked in their own ignorance. If you were one of the few among these ponies that accepted all love as real love, you were also the few that were at the top of their shit-list.
This was the reality that Braeburn and Caramel lived in; the life that I was adopted into and never fully understood. I mean seriously, how could these ponies have the audacity to make love some sort of conservative affair? As if there were some official rules about how and who you should love. If you broke those rules, you were an outcast forever damned by the majority; forever looked down upon because you believed in something they failed to comprehend. And no matter how hard you tried to keep to your own and live a life they'd never understand, eventually, you'll pay for that crime. I had to learn that the hard way, much like how I learned everything else. And of all the lessons that were shoved down my throat, nothing was more harder to swallow than the first lesson I received that unforgettable day.
My dad Braeburn decided to take me out the morning before. And while I personally never saw the big deal with his early adventures, there was no denying how much it made him happy, so with mild reluctance I followed him out on the ranch with an eagerness to start the day. I guess you could say I lived in Appleloosa, but our ranch was placed more on the outskirts of their territory. We didn't have much there; a few apple trees my dad managed to grow and about half an acre of land the buffalo allowed my parents to keep. The fields weren't an eye-catcher but I couldn't have been more proud of my home.
As I trotted beside the stallion feeling completely blissful and at peace, I thought of their trials they told me they endured just to get custody of me since nopony in that town accepted their relationship. It wasn't surprising they were hellbent on doing everything they could to stop them from raising a baby, but it also wasn't surprising that my fathers were even more hellbent to do it anyway.
"We don't care about you colt-cuddlers but brainwashing the innocent is the ultimate crime," said my Pa that day as he leaned against Braeburn. "But your dad and I didn't listen. We fought for you baby filly, and we won."
"How come, Pa?" I tilted my head.
"Because we knew the moment we saw you that you were somepony special. And you were worth the fight, Ballad Breeze." Brae answered as he joined in on the hug.
When hearing words like that, how could I not feel special? Even then when I traveled alongside Braeburn, I felt significant and adored. The warm orange glow of the rising sun lit the skies as I took in the scenery with open arms --er well I guess open eyes-- and I appreciated every moment of it. I imagined Braeburn shared the same thoughts, because he barely said a word since leaving the house.
"This is how life should be Ballad." he said, finally breaking the long silence as he slowed to a stop.
"Isn't this how our lives are, Dad?"
I didn't despise my parents getting all randomly insightful on me, but there were times I could survive without it. But it seemed he was really deep into the mood today, so I pushed down my rising quip and pricked my ears in his direction to hear what else he had to say.
"It wasn't always like this y'know. And odds are, one day you'll face another side of this world you may not like. But your Pa and I have done well to teach you everything we know. You're a strong one. As strong as the love we have for each other and?" his eyes landing on me expectantly.
"Aaaand as strong as the love you have for me. I know, I know." I playfully nudged the stallion's broad shoulder.
But there was a weird stir within my belly that I couldn't shake off. It had been days since both my parents were acting a little strange: preaching valuable lessons and spending more time with me than the usual (and we usually spend a LOT of time together). Before I had the chance to question him on their recent odd behavior, Dad turned tail and trotted slowly back towards the ranch giving me a bewildered expression when I didn't immediately follow.
"Well what are ya waiting for hun? Your Pa probably has breakfast waiting for us by now. We better head back!"
"Uh, okay comin' Dad!" I extended my wings and shot up in the air with a light giggle. Effortlessly I glided in his direction and landed beside him wearing a smug expression.
"Must you always do that? That has ta be the most dramatic leap in history." he said with a small head shake.
My long silent strides did most of the boasting for me as we made our way back to the house where the smell of pancakes and hayhashbrowns wafted in the air. My mouth watered with anticipation once we reached the entrance; gifted with a scene of Pa standing proudly at the table with breakfast ready to be devoured.
"Thereya are," Caramel said with a genuine smile as he trotted over to nudge his partner gently. "That was a rather long mornin walk. I was beginning to thi--ah nevermind. You're here now, so come on in and eat up".
He didn't have to tell me twice as I raced to my seat and began to pile the food on my plate. However, I was interrupted by a large hoof touching my shoulder to cease my "eager" activity. With a look of confusion and a grouchy stomach, I turned to see Caramel looking at me gently with a small box between his teeth. Before I could protest, Dad settled in beside him with a look hinting that whatever this was about, it was way too important for one of my smart remarks. So with a heavy sigh, I gave both stallions my full attention.
Braeburn was the first to speak. "So your Pa and I had been planning to wait to give you this on your 20th birthday, but we couldn't wait. And we wanted ta give you this, baby filly."
As if on cue, Caramel leaned forward to hand me the small wrapped gift. I tenderly took the small box wondering what in Equestria could be so important that they needed to give me my gift now. Carelessly, I ripped away the gift wrap and flicked open the top to discover perhaps the most beautiful locket I'be seen. Well, okay so perhaps it wasn't "the most beautiful" locket I've ever seen, considering it's rather simple design: a pure silver heart with a plain silver chain, but the fact it came from two of the most important ponies in my life made it super special . Holding my breath, I slowly opened the locket revealing a small picture of both Dad and Pa with me in the middle. I was just a little filly then; I didn't even recall taking the family portrait. Regardless, I was more than baffled by what they had given me as chest bubbled with strong emotions.
"I-I don't know what to say."
Dad rolled his eyes as he proceeded to gently rest a hoof on my shoulder. "Well you can start by sayin thank you, hmm?"
"We want you to keep this Ballad. Never lose this and never forget love.", Caramel said genuinely.
I wasn't sure if it was my imagination, but I could've sworn I saw something flash in his eyes that day. Was it fear, regret, sadness, or a mixture of all three? It disappeared so fast that I was never able to tell. What mattered then was that I was a mare raised with a love that was stripped away from me the following day.
****************************************
"Why die to witness the heavens when you can take to the sky
Why sleep to live a dream when you could pursue it with open eyes
And with this in mind, I'll fly. I'll fly and soar high
My wings carry me on as the birds pass me by
This is my heaven, my own paradise to----"
"Ballad! I know you can hear me!" cried the young cow that was racing after me.
I was in flight: soaring at maximum speed as I recited another poetic piece in my head. It was one of my favorite hobbies to do whenever my folks didn't need my help with the chores. Pa would always encourage me to take my poetic gift further than shoving them in my journal or reciting them in my head, but I didn't have any desires to become a poet or anything. I simply enjoyed the feel of creating literary art; whenever I was in the mood, I'd put my feelings and thoughts on paper. But this time around, I was in the skies being interrupted by a screaming buffalo. Without losing speed, I glanced down to see Little Strongheart racing after me. In my opinion, she wasn't exactly so little anymore, but the name never grew old with her. Heck, my parents were still calling me "baby filly" every now and then but I learned to live with it.
Folding my wings slightly inward, I dived towards the earth with blinding speed making sure to extend them out fully and level myself at the last second. I wasn't exactly sure what Strongheart wanted, but I suppose my expression said it all when I landed before her, because the moment I slid to a halt, she rolled her eyes at me as if she could read my mind.
"Well nice to see you too, pony."
"Excuse my excitement. I just love it when you show up at the worst of times." And that was nearly all the time.
Strongheart and I weren't what you would call "the best of friends" but she was the only other animal I hung out with most of the time. My fathers never approved the idea of me visiting the town after that first time long ago. They always took it upon themselves to travel there alone making sure I was free from the fire the town ponies shot at them. In fact, they were on their way there around the time I took flight. Probably seeing to the result of some stupid election that had been going on for over a month now. From what I understood, the race was between that old fart, Brokeback, who had a strong hatred for anything he didn't like and Sheriff Silverstar: a pony who was more tolerant and went way back with my dad, Braeburn. I wasn't one for politics, but my fathers were stressing big time over the results. I wouldn't be surprised if the Sheriff won; he was a hard working pony who had more sense than that other old jackass. (no offense to all you cool donkeys out there).
"So what's up?", I said a bit impatiently noticing the odd silence. Just a moment ago, she was screaming my name like a maniac and now she seemed to have lost her voice the moment I give her my full attention.
"Right. Look, I have a message for you and it's really important"
"And that message is?"
Last time I checked, she really wasn't this dense. I narrowed my eyes with suspicion noticing her stranger behavior: basically looking like a nervous wreck out of no where. The Strongheart I grew up with was far from a nervous wreck; she was a headstrong cow who stood strong by what her herd believed in. While I was raised to accept love wholeheartedly, she was raised to appreciate life to the fullest: to protect all it's inhabitants and respect the land....blah blah blah. Don't get me wrong, I respected these things too, but I wasn't the type to kiss the ground.
"Chief Thunderhooves needs you to head back with me and stay with the herd for a bit." At least she was getting her act together, but by then, I no longer cared about her strange behavior. I was more concerned as to why the hell the buffalo needed me to stay with them.
"Look, Strongheart, I don't like random invitations to sleepovers. Mind explaining to me what's going on?" I was letting the frustration get the better of me as I pressed on.
"Hey, calm down. My dad only told me to come get you, I don't appreciate the snappy attitude." she said while staring me in the eye.
Ruffling my feathers, I took a few steps back and stomped my hooves on the ground. "Where's Dad and Pa? Do they even know about this? Let me at least talk to them first before you crazy buffalo carry me away for unknown reasons!"
"The only reason why we're asking you to come with us is BECAUSE of your parents!", she shouted back. I froze in place with my grey eyes glued to the angry cow.
"What the hell are you talking about? Why would they want me to stay with you? What's going on!!" I said shoving my nose in her face. I was way pass the bullcrap...literally.
"Hey back off, Breeze!! Look I honestly don't know alright? All I know is that your parents want you to stay with us, and the Chief agreed. So how about you just co--HEY!" she shouted noticing that I was already trotting past her.
Any sensible pony would have listened, but at the moment, I was too ticked to think things through. Obviously, arguing with a friend wouldn't get me any answers, so without warning, I shot off the ground ignoring the cries of Strongheart fading behind me. Something wasn't right and I wanted to know why.
I could feel the muscle within my wings burn as I sliced through the skies at top speed. Adrenaline pumping through my veins as fast as the angry tears flowing down my face. Once I arrived at the ranch, I was horrified in what I discovered; instead of seeing apple trees and a sturdy house, I saw blazing flames with ponies wailing with rage.
"No...no no no no no..." was all that escaped my lips as I landed on the soil trying my best to fight the sick feeling that overcame me. I could barely see through the black smoke that rose with the ashes and threatened to suffocate my lungs. And the worst of it was that I had no idea where Braeburn and Caramel were; I needed to find them.
My beating wings did well to blow the smoke away from my path as I stumbled forward ignoring the shouts full of hatred:
"Look! It's the filly they raised!"
"You mean brainwashed!"
"She's just as guilty as those colt-cuddlin' abominations!"
"We should let her burn like the rest of this filthy land owned by those weirdos!"
Everything said went in one ear and out the other as I blindly searched through the ranch; pushing aside any pony who had the nerve to block my path. They were nothing but a blur to me. Only things I could remember was a screaming mob and flames. "PA!!! DAD!!! PA!!!" I shouted as loud as I could. I didn't understand; why was this happening? How could these ponies be shouting with so much hate when my home was in flames? Did they not care? Confusion took over as I found myself circling about in panic. I was surrounded by ponies with nowhere to go but up. I didn't even have time to make sense of how things escalated quickly, because all I could think about was finding my family. But before I could take off, a sharp pain erupted from the back of my head. My vision blurred, and it was no longer from the tears. I could do nothing but fall forward with a loud thud, my body crashing upon the earth topped with the ashes of my home. Squeezing tightly onto my locket, my world slowly faded into darkness.
****************************************
~~"Uh...Pa?" the small green filly whimpered with fear laced in her tone, cowering behind the large tan stallion. She couldn't make sense of the angry glares glued towards her; hatred sparked in their eyes as if her very presence threatened their existence. Caramel decided to take her out for a town visit that day in hopes the change of scenery would satisfy the little filly's curiosity. However, instead of the basking in the loving atmosphere she was accustomed to, she found herself choking within an ambiance of antipathy.
"Just stick close to my flank, baby filly. We've got our things, so we'll be out in no time. Ignore them" Caramel said, gently nudging his young daughter onward.
They were nearly to the edge of town, when an old grey stallion with piercing blue eyes emerged from behind the last superstructure.
"You got some nerve showing yer face round here, pretty pony!" he spat hoarsely while blocking their path.
"We were just leavin, Brokeback. How about you stop causing trouble for once, and let me by? I only wanted my daughter to visit the town while I grabbed some things."
The small pegasus shifted her grey gaze on the one her Pa called Brokeback. She was confused as she watched the old stallion grunt with anger, relentlessly stomping the ground like some crazed bull while raging towards them.
"You mean that tainted seed? Probably brainwashed by now: head full of sinful lies about your so called 'true love'. Appleloosa was doin just fine before you trotted yer rump in here, you colt-cuddlin, SISSY FILLY! Seducing a once genuine young stallion who had the means to run this town. Now he ain't nothin but a prissy pony who takes it up the a--"
"Now you wait just a minute!" Caramel said, taking a step forward.
Four other ponies would appear at Brokeback's side wearing disgusted expressions. Caramel hesitated knowing he couldn't do anything too brash, especially if it risked his daughter's safety. Fortunately, Sheriff Silverstar raced inbetween both parties before anyone could make a move.
"Alright that's enough outta you, Brokeback!! The rest of yas, go on! Ain't gonna be no brawl while I'm here, ya here me? Go on! Get!" he shouted while the reluctant crowd dispersed.
"Oh, you ain't gonna be the boss round here forever, Silverstar. You and I both know you hate dem colt-cuddlers just as much as we do. Open your eyes and stop protectin those fools" said Brokeback as he trotted out of there way and deeper into town.
Silverstar only glared at the old stallion's direction before he turned his attention on Caramel and his shivering little filly.
"Thanks Sherif-" Caramel said, but was cut short by a small wave of the Sheriff's hoof.
"Just get yer things and yer daughter and get goin' Caramel. I only did this because I was once great friends with Braeburn. But I won't protect you forever," he growled stepping aside to let them by. "And from now on, keep that little one away from here. Can't guarantee she'll be safe round here either!!!"
"Pa?—why do they hate us so much?" the filly asked in small voice, pressing close to Caramel's flank. The young stallion could barely meet her hurtful gaze as he stared at the path ahead of them.
"They lost sight of what love is, that's all. Promise me...promise me you'll never lose sight of love, Ballad," he whispered in a strained voice, locking eyes with hers. "Promise me you'll never lose faith in what love really is."
She didn't quite understand the magnitude behind his request at the time, but she smiled brightly anyway. Of course she wouldn't lose sight of love! Those meanies weren't like her fathers; good ponies who loved unconditionally and fully. "I promise, Pa!"~~
"Get the buck up!" a beefy stallion roared for the third time as he dumped ice-cold water on my face as if I was some mud on the sidewalk.
I coughed and spluttered uncontrollably, trying to make sense of where I was and why the hell this meathead was giving me a cold shower. Wearily, I slowly rose to my hooves taking note of the density beneath them. It seemed I was being held in a metal cell; my eyes were adjusting well enough to notice the metal bars that kept me secluded. On the other side, there stood some ugly hillbilly stallion who really needed to take a break from the hayburgers and woof down some grassgranola bars. I was going to tell him just that, but the only thing that escaped my lips was a pained groan.
"That's better! We want you up and bright-eyed fer the necktie party, missy".
At the mentioning of a necktie party, my ears pricked with urgency. It was all suddenly coming back to me: weird Strongheart, home in flames, angry idiots, and missing parents. A numbing pain at the back of my head began to reappear as I wildly flapped my wings with frustration.
"Get me out of here! Where's Braeburn and Caramel!?"
I kicked at the rusted bars, but laughter was the meathead's only response, but that didn't stop me from kicking some more. I suppose my temper tantrum lost it's "entertaining" touch quickly, because a blunt object connected with my hind leg causing me to stumble back down with a loud grunt.
"Oh calm the hell down," he said. "You'll be wit yer bareback bucking bozos soon 'nuff. Brokeback is plenty eager to carry on his first act as Mayor, so the wait won't be long, darlin"
Mayor? So the old bastard did win after all, but that didn't explain why my home was in ashes and why I was being held against my will. My eyes landed on who I could only assume was the idiot jail-keeper.
"Where's my family? I asked desperately. "Why are you doing this? What did we ever do to you!?"
I couldn't make sense of anything that was happening; one minute I'm soaring high in the skies thinking of a few insightful verses, and the next I'm trapped in the cell with no knowledge of where my fathers were. And it was obvious gaining that knowledge from this stallion was a hopeless cause, because all he did was laugh maliciously.
"Hold your horses, you bucking brat. Won't be long now and then you'll get all the answers you need. You sit tight! I gots other bizz to take care of"
And with that, the bulky pony trotted out the entrance leaving me alone to panic. I replayed the little info I was able to gather: Brokeback won the little election, and from what I heard from the horse's mouth, he was behind these twisted turn of events. I also knew that somepony was going to face execution, but I wasn't going to guess who was doomed to that kind of end. I was afraid to. Besides, I didn't have much time as the meathead reappeared; this time with a very special guest.
"Ah, the tainted seed," Brokeback said with a scowl, trotting up to my cell. "I see you've gotten bigger since the last time I saw yer face."
He was quite fast and strong for an old pony, because I was pulled against the bars by his hoof within the blink of an eye. He didn't mutter a word as his eyes fell on my locket; sneering with disgust when he looked inside.
"Stupider too. Bind those darn wings of hers and drag her to the Tree of Judgement." he ordered the meathead.
First off, what the hell was the Tree of Judgement and what was going to happen there? Brokeback was already gone by the time I went crazy with rage; bucking with all my power while meathead did his best to hold me down. Soon, two other earth ponies crashed in with rope between their teeth trying their best to tie down my flapping wings. The odds were slowly moving in their favor as I felt unbearable pain explode in my left shoulder which quickly spread through other parts of my body. Five hoof-stomps on my side later, I realized that the binding attempt quickly turned into an assault blowout with me as the target. Red liquid blurred my vision as the beating worsened each second. I bet those bastards were getting a kick out of imprinting their hooves on my beaten frame, because they were very vocal about it:
"Stupid piece of horseshit!!!" one shouted while I spat out my own blood.
"Yeeeee Doggie! This feels good! Horseshit is right term fer this one!", said the other as I received another stomp to the ribs.
"Alright, alright let's finish binding these wings!" the meathead snapped roughly pressing my head to the stone-cold floor. It didn't take long before I was rope-bound and broken. Wet with blood, my flowing tears, and meathead's urine seeping in my dusted green fur.
"Ahhhhh, that's better. When ya gotta go, ya gotta go. Too bad it landed on that worthless mule! Come on...Mayor Brokeback needs this here filly to watch the show!"
At the command, I was vaguely aware I was being dragged out the cell. All I could think about was how stupid was. I should've had a better plan; instead I took action without a plan at all. But what else was I to do? I was witnessing my own life get tossed into the inferno like a piece of wood. And despite all this, I remained uninformed as to where Dad and Pa were. Giving up on caring what would happen to me, I glued my eye on the locket still secured around my neck. Anger boiled within my chest as I noticed it was no longer a pure shining silver, but a dusty piece of metal splashed with crimson red.
****************************************
"Welcome, my fine ponies here in Appleloosa," said the old bastard while I was being dumped before the town ponies. "Let me jus say how honored I am to officially be yer Mayor. And as I promised you fine folks, Imma rid this town and this world from this...th-this EVIL that has been upon us fer years!", he yelled above the roaring crowd.
From what I could tell, we were located before the largest apple tree I've ever laid my eyes on. I could feel the soft glow of the setting sun as Brokeback rambled on about the evil my fathers brought upon Appleloosa. How I was nothing but a tainted seed fully blossomed to carry on this taboo love and spread it like a plague. I wasn't sure if it was Brokeback's speech or my beaten body, but a strong wave of nausea overcame me. Groaning was all I could do, which caught the attention of a few ponies including Brokebastard himself.
"Well lookie what we got here folks! The tainted seed!"
I jerked desperately wishing to break free from the ropes and locate my family, but was stopped short the moment Brokeback's hoof connected with my stomach as I cried out in pain.
"Aren't you an eager beaver," he scowled, turning his gaze back on the crowd despite the fact his next words were directed to me. "No worries, you'll get yer turn very soon!" The others were quick to join him as they yelled their own two-bits:
"Hang her first!"
"She ain't nothing but green scum!"
"Just like those colt-cuddling asses!"
Brokeback took pleasure in watching the crowd yell random insults at me, but all I could do was cry trying my best to struggle free. You could only maintain that "tough act" for so long before they break you. I was indeed broken both physically and emotionally. All I wanted to do was crawl into the embrace of the only ponies that genuinely loved me through kind words and benevolent behavior throughout my childhood, but I received various objects to the noggin instead. Finally, the assault ceased by the calm wave of Brokeback's hoof as he spoke in a voice filled with so much malice, that I could've sworn I heard demons from tartarus echo his words.
"Alright, settle down everypony. Time ta'boot the real felons of our fair town! Bring'em out!"
At his command, the sea of hateful ponies split to reveal meathead and his goon dragging the crumpled bodies of...
"Dad! Pa!" I shouted miraculously.
They were still alive, but barely from the looks of their broken condition. Caramel was the first to stir from unconsciousness as his confused gaze fell on me, and in that moment, I felt my whole crash in slow motion:
You ever witnessed a tragedy? The one where you're forced to witness an unspeakable act that could shatter your whole life as well as your heart? The bad guys laugh like a manic while you watch everything you love burn in flames. But before it actually happens, you're blessed with saying goodbyes that you will forever replay in your head; the "i love you" speeches and "never forget who you are" bullshit. Well, I guess I wasn't that lucky to receive any of that. Instead, I was a thrashing idiot crying out for Brokeback to let my parents go. Meathead and the others were already tying substantial rope around their bruised necks before leaving them exposed to the mercy of the town ponies. They kicked till their cold-heart's desire as if the fact that they were about to be hanged wasn't satisfying enough. Colt-cuddlers, bareback buddies, prissy ponies, rump-buckers, faggot-fillies, and every other insult in the book was thrown at them.
And what did I do? Nothing. I watched with horror as Brokeback barked his order while the others roared with anticipation. To watch your loved ones die is like committing suicide, because at that very moment, a huge part of me was dying with them. Dad and Pa bucked and choked slowly to their deaths before the cheering crowd. I could tell they did their best to keep their eyes on me; refusing to look into the faces of ignorance at it's finest. But I wasn't strong enough to hold their gaze as I sobbed uncontrollably. Soon, they were nothing but two empty broken shells; free from this world, free from pain, and free from love. From my love.
To be honest, I wasn't sure what happened after that. I guess when Sheriff Silverstar realized Brokeback was going to gain control, he bailed at the last second before the town turned on Braeburn and Caramel. He tracked the buffalo down in hopes to stop the necktie party, but by the time the buffalo arrived, my parents were dead while I was being lifted to meet the same fate. The Chief's herd stormed in with Silverstar in the lead; separating the angry mob and taking down Meathead before I could choke to death. I could barely feel anything as I landed on the bloodstained earth next to my two lifeless fathers. From the little I could remember, Silverstar and his buffalo back-up managed to take over the town as well as bring Brokeback down for his hate-crime. I wasn't sure how things played out after that, because the moment I felt my wings were free from bondage, I took off with new-found strength ignoring the pain that racked through my body. The urgent screams for my return slowly faded behind me; nothing mattered then.
They were so full of love—so full of life, and just like that it was all gone. Is it weird to believe that I thought I was a corpse? As cold as the two bodies I was leaving behind, or more so, flying away from? I was alone with nothing else to live for because they were dead, my home was destroyed, and I wasn't going to stick around even if there was hope for me to be protected and start over. Why would any pony want to stay there a second longer after witnessing that? The flowing tears came again, but this time I wasn't sure if it was from the pain of flying, or the hard truth that was beginning to hit me:
Without love, what was the purpose of living?
At that moment, I decided flying away from my problems was a lost cause. The muscle beneath my feathers jerk before going limp as I plummeted through the skies with teardrops floating before me. A ghostly smile blossomed upon my broken features...whispering what I thought would be my last poetic piece:
"I refuse to give up on love
Love is all that I am and what I live for
If it travels beyond my reach within this world
I'll follow it into the next"