> Tales of Two Sandwiches
>  by Sketcha-Holic
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Baby Brother
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a simple little waiting room. Blue carpet, potted plants in the corners, a bunch of chairs arranged in the middle of the room and against the walls, tables with magazines stacked on top, and a large fish tank with colorful fish swimming within it adorned the room. 

In the waiting room were two elderly couples and a little brownish-gold colt. Four out of the five ponies were earth ponies, with the green, salmon-maned mare being the lone unicorn. Her yellowish orange husband's mane tried to match her horn with a pale yellow forelock, though it was ultimately curled like the rest of his hair. The other couple was made up of the skinny, balding husband being a dark yellowish brown, and the bespectactled red-headed wife being a grayish yellow. They all sat in a row, with the balding one reading a magazine, his wife exchanging jokes with the other stallion, and the unicorn knitting, watching her little grandson stare at the fish.  

The colt had his face pressed against the glass, his eyes following the movements of the clownfish as it swam around the fake reef and the other fish. So fascinating were they, and the little colt wanted to get their attention. So, he tapped on the glass, and to his disappointment, the fish dashed away from him. 

The unicorn mare set down her knitting needles and was beside him in an instant. "Oh, no, Cheese, don't tap the glass! It scares the fish."

The colt, Cheese Sandwich, turned to his grandmother, and back to the tank. "Sorry, fishy."

The little three-year-old turned and bounced off the chair. Plopping on the floor, he crawled under the chair, and then started to tunnel between the legs, squealing in an imitation of the subway train. 

The balding one looked up from his magazine. "Hey, munchkin, whatcha doin'?"

Cheese's head of brown curls popped out from under a chair at the adjacent wall. "Imma train!" His head slipped back under, and he continued to make the train noises as he crawled. It wasn't long before he was singing about chugging through the tunnels. 

Shaking his head, the grandfather nudged his wife, and said, "Panini, I think your quirkiness skipped a generation and got into him."

Panini blinked at him, and then giggled. "Aw, Beans, young'uns can never sit still. 'Member when Cocoa Butter was runnin' around th' house smellin' like a wet dog? Or when Hay Burger would be throwin' his toys around and then puttin' 'em back in their places?"

Beans stroked his goatee. "I don't know... Hay Burger was always quiet. His little munchkin, on the other hoof, clearly wants to show off his musical aptitude." He formed a wry grin and snickered. "Yep, he definitely has the family pipes--like his father and grandfather."

The other grandfather gave him a grin and strummed his forelock, saying in a singsong voice, "And he's got my family's forelock too! Also, friendly reminder that I called dibs on teaching him my instrument first."

"Baw, Pizza Pockets, must you always do that to me? I want to teach my craft, you know!"

The unicorn, Cucumber Melon, leaned over. "Not to worry, you may teach our new grandfoal when he or she is old enough."

Panini frowned. "Mozzarella's been in there an awful long time. I hope she's not havin' problems."

"Oh, dear, I hope not."

"Woo woo!" Cheese hollered. 

Beans sighed. "He's imitating the wrong kind of train..."

Pizza Pockets eyed the little toddler as he crawled under the chairs, scurrying to the next row before continuing his train role play. "Little Cheese, being so caught up in his game. I hope he's eager to let his sibling in on those games when he or she is old enough."

The door on the other side of the room opened, and a nurse walked through. 

Immediately, Cucumber Melon was on her feet. "How's my daughter?"

The nurse smiled. "She is doing well. The foaling has gone smoothly, and while the colt is tiny, he's healthy and has a strong pair of lungs. Goodness, he was screaming when he came out."

Beans gave a wry grin to Pizza Pockets. "Knew it was gonna be a colt. You owe me ten bits."

Pizza Pockets sighed. "I'll pay you later."

Panini jumped out of her chair, and then danced in place, grinning at the other three. "C'mon, y'all! Our new grandson is waitin' for us!"

Beans slowly climbed out of his chair, stretching his legs carefully. "Dang it, 'Nini, how do you still have so much energy? My creaky bones don't allow me to do that!"

Pizza Pockets and Cucumber Melon also stood up. The latter turned to a spot under the chairs and said, "Come along, Cheese! There's someone you need to meet."

The little colt's eyes widened, and then he scooted further under the chairs and shook his head. "Uh-uh! I no wanna meet stranger."

Cucumber sighed, and walked to the spot that Cheese hid. She crouched down to look into Cheese's green eyes. "Oh, but this new pony won't be a stranger for long. He's going to be a new friend."

Cheese whimpered. "No! Strangers mean!"

Pizza Pockets looked at the other couple. "You go on ahead, I'll help Mel coax Cheese out from under there."

The other two nodded, and then were led to the room where Mozzarella and the new baby were. Once they left, Pizza Pockets joined his wife in crouching down and sweet talking the little toddler. 

"Hey, little buddy," he said. "There's no need to be afraid. We're going to meet the new baby."

Cheese blinked. "Baby?"





Beans and Panini walked into the hospital room, finding a red-headed, mustard-yellow mare lying on the bed, which was halfway across the room and against the adjacent wall. Her curly mane was in some parts bristled, and in some parts wet with sweat. Bags were under her eyes, and she laid back, taking deep, silent breaths. Though she wasn't smiling, there seemed to be an air of relief around her, as if she was glad it was all over. Cradled in her forelegs, a small, red-orange colt slept, wrapped in a blue blanket, and a dark brown curl poking out of his beanie. 

The couple sat down at the mare's bedside. Panini looked up, seeing a cinnamon-colored stallion staring out the window. She glanced between him and the colt, noting that the little one looked a lot like his father, though clearly brighter colors. 

The mare, Mozzarella, looked at them with a deadpan expression. "Where are my parents?"

"Getting Cheese out from under some chairs," Beans replied. He eyed the colt with a smile. "Mind telling us the munchkin's name?"

The baby started to squirm. Bobbing the colt, Mozzarella replied, "His name's Tomato Sandwich."

Panini gave her a confused look. "Is that a real sandwich?"

"Yes, Panini, it is." She glanced at Tomato, who was rubbing his eyes. "The moment I saw him, I thought he looked like a tomato. And since tomato's a fruit, like half my family is named after, and a good companion food for cheese, I thought it'd be a good name for him. As for the 'sandwich' part... it just sounded the best to me and not as awkward as naming him 'soup'."

"Did Hay help you name him?"

Mozzarella had a scowl on her face. "He's been at the window the entire time."

Tomato opened his eyes, revealing them to be green like his brother's. He blinked a few times before staring at his grandparents. 

"Hey, looks like the new munchkin's awake!" Beans said. He laughed, and said, "Hey, little buddy... looks like you's seeing your ugly Gramps' face, huh? I'm surprised you're not crying yet."

Tomato blinked, and then he reached forward, cooing at his grandpa. 

Panini reached forward and scratched Tomato's chin. "Well, ain't he just the li'l doll? He's cuter than a litter of puppy dogs learnin' how to howl! Shoot, he looks so much like his Pa!" She looked up at the stallion at the window. "Hay Burger, get away from the window and say hi to yer young'n!"

Hay Burger merely grunted in response. 

Panini's face went sour. "Why's he bein' like that? He was happy when Cheese was born, and now he won't look at little Tomato."

Beans glared at Hay Burger and shook his head. "At least show respect for your flesh and blood."

Mozzarella groaned. "How do you expect to be a good father if you can't even bear the thought of a second foal?"

Hay Burger glanced at the rest of the group, his eyes making it clear where both Cheese and Tomato got their eye color. With a scoff, he replied, "You wanted a filly. He wouldn't be pleased to learn that."

Beans put a hoof to his face and groaned. "Stop spoiling this day, you two. We have a new member of the family, and you just treat it as some excuse to insult each other. If you don't clean up your act, both of your sons will not grow up very happy. Geez, you're acting like my parents, and I was a miserable colt growing up under them!"

That was when the door opened, and they all turned to see Pizza Pockets and Cucumber Melon coming in, with little Cheese Sandwich on the former's back. Grinning, Panini said, "Looks like Pizza and Mel brought little Cheese. Let's see what Tomato's older brother thinks of him."

The couple walked forward a bit, and Cucumber Melon gasped. With a hoof on her heart, she said, "Oh, my! Look at that precious little baby! Cheese, do you see that baby? That's your new brother."

Cheese narrowed his eyes at the baby, and leaned forward, trying to investigate what the heck that was in his mother's forelegs. He leaned a little too far and started to fall, but Cucumber Melon quickly grabbed him with her magic. 

Pizza Pockets chuckled. "Well, well, he looks a lot like his dad."

Hay Burger groaned and said, "I know..."

"Well, don't just stand there, let little Cheesaroo take a closer look!" Panini said.

Cucumber Melon levitated Cheese onto the bed, and set him in front of his brother. Cheese tilted his head, staring at the strange and tiny new pony. Tomato stared back, taking in the presence of this other pony that was bigger than he was, but smaller than everypony else. Matching eyes stared at each other, even as Cheese decided to stand up and toddle toward him. Tomato leaned back, his brow furrowing in confusion, and watched as Cheese plopped on the bed, sniffing him, and taking a tiny vermilion hoof in his own. 

With a soft chuckle, Cucumber Melon looked at her daughter, who gave her a nod in response to the silent inquiry of whether she could hold Tomato or not. However, Mozzarella's eyes widened as Tomato was levitated straight into the confused Cheese's forelegs, and she gasped, "Careful! Cheese is only three, he might drop him!"

The baby was kind of heavy, but Cheese stayed strong. From what he heard, babies get hurt easily, and he didn't want to hurt this tiny, new baby he held. He still stared at Tomato, their eyes locked in a mutual sense of confusion and awe. Cheese felt the warmth of the tiny foal seep into him, and the longer he held him, the more he felt the softness of the little body. Cheese's thoughts ran from how nice this baby felt, to how precious the baby looked, how much smaller baby was compared to him, and how this was supposed to be his new friend. Relieved that this stranger wasn't big and scary like all the others, he decided he wanted to keep his new baby brother.

Cheese smiled at Tomato.  "Hi! I'm big brother Cheesy!"

Blinking, Tomato gave a weak smile back, and cooed to show his approval of his big brother. Cheese nuzzled Tomato's cheek, amazed at how soft the fur was. Yes, soft fur, Cheese really liked that his brother had soft fur. 

He looked up at all the grown-ups, lifted up Tomato with all his strength, and announced, "This my baby. This my baby forever and forever."

Beans laughed. "Looks like Cheese likes him. You gonna be a good big brother?"

Cheese nodded, and Beans continued, "Well, at least somepony's happy he's here. Heck, most of us are happy Tomato's here. I can just imagine these two being the ultimate musical team!" He paused as Tomato yawned, and he took a quick look at the inside of the baby's mouth, looking far back into the throat. "Looks like they both have the pipes. So, accordion, piano, and both singing voices will be a winning team. Can't wait until Tomato's old enough so I can start teaching him my craft."

Cheese laughed back, and hugged baby Tomato, cheek to cheek, and both colts smiling. 

He was going to like being a big brother.
> The Baby and the Bit
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Little Tomato Sandwich was but a month old, and already he had been abandoned by his mother and brother. 

While playing with his building blocks, the tiny foal had watched as Mama and Cheesy had waltzed out the door, the former announcing to Daddy that she was taking Cheese to a vacuum station or something like that. He found it a peculiar place for them to go, as he had no idea what a vacuum station was or what its use was. What even is a vacuum, and why does it need a station? 

Nevertheless, Mama and Big Brother were having a grand adventure at this mysterious vacuum station, while he was stuck here with boring old Dad. He simply had to turn to the kitchen adjoining the living room where he sat, and he could see Dad at the table, scribbling on papers and drinking that "coughie" (he had heard Dad cough a few times after sipping it, so he assumed that's why it was called that). The thin stallion had mumbled something in response to Mama's request to watch over baby Tomato, and off they went. Cheesy had blown a kiss to Tommy just before the door closed. 

Tomato stared at the door. There was only a few moments of contentment before the horrifying thought hit him. What if they weren't coming back? What if they were moving far away, to a place that Tomato didn't know about? What if that vacuum station was going to be Mama and Cheesy's new home? Did they already forget about him? The thought shook him to his core, as he had no idea why they were going away, or why they hated him enough to leave him with a dad that didn't even like him. 

With fear taking hold of his tiny body, his face contorted as he let out that first whimper.

His father, Hay Burger, looked up, his face in a grimace. "Oh, no, please don't."

Tomato's whimper gave way to the first wail. He got up on his four tiny legs, which then took him over to the door as fast as they could. He slammed right into it, staggering back as hiccups and tears came in succession. He reared up and tried to claw his way out with sharp little hooves, his tearful screams still ringing through the house. 

Hay sighed. "Why does the munchkin have to be so loud? I have a headache..." 

The cinnamon-coated stallion got up and walked toward the little red-orange ball of endless sobs and shrieks. He picked him up and started to bounce him. "Oookay, there's nothing to worry about... Mommy's coming back to you soon... unfortunately..."

Lies! Tomato wasn't sure he could trust this pony who had done absolutely nothing for him at all. Mama fed him and gave him baths, and Cheesy played with him and made him laugh. But this guy? All he did was scribble on those papers! So, Tomato continued to bawl. 

Hay groaned. He started to look around the living room, trying to find something that would calm the tiny colt. He spotted the blocks, and then carried him over and set him down. Sitting across from Tomato, he forced a grin and started stacking the blocks. "Look! I'm building! Aren't building blocks wonderful?"

Tomato stared for a moment with a wrinkled nose, and then resumed his crying. He had got up on his feet and turned to gallop back to the door, but his father quickly used his tail to pull the little colt back. Another scream sent a shudder through the stallion's body. 

"Uh... how about I sing you a lullaby? Always worked with Cheese!" Hay cleared his throat and hoarsely sang, "Twinkle, twinkle little staaaaarrrrgggghhh--" 

His singing end in hacking, coughing, and more of Tomato's crying. With a sigh, Hay reminded himself never to sing with a sore throat again.

Hay sighed, and then rummaged in his pocket to pull out a small gold coin. With a sheepish smile, he waved the bit in front of the foal's face. "Look at the shiny! Yes, look at the shiny thing! Isn't it pretty?"

Tomato's hiccups died down to whimpers as he looked at the coin. Blinking away the tears, he watched as his father slowly swept it across his line of vision. The foal put a hoof to his mouth curiously, knowing that he had seen that before when Mama took him food shopping, but never up close. The bit held the image of a very pretty mare, with a waving mane and a horn longer than Gramma Mel's.  

He reached forward to touch it, and then snatched it out of his father's hoof. He felt the smooth roundness of the metal, as golden as the sun.  He knocked on it, amazed that his hoof didn't leave a dent in the metal. He turned the bit around to see the other side, which had a picture of the sun on it. The light from the window gave the bit a glorious shine, and Tomato couldn't help but coo in awe. 

His father sighed in relief, and then yawned. "Well, better take another swig of my coffee before I continue the report..." He stood up and walked back to the table. "Don't want to mess anything up and get in trouble with my boss... and my wife."

Tomato was fine with the arrangement. Daddy could keep drinking the "coughie" (why would anyone drink something that makes them cough?) and scribbling on that paper, and Tomato could continue examining the coin in his hooves. They could ignore each other all they want, without worry of any trouble happening. 

As he looked at the coin, Tomato recalled how Mama would trade these things away, and in return the other pony gave them food. Food that Tomato was barely learning how to eat with teeth that had been growing in, but food nonetheless. 

He used those teeth to gnaw on the coin, hearing and feeling a tiny "clink" with each bite. It was some tasty gold! Not tasty enough to be considered food, however, but it was pleasant enough for him to get an idea why ponies liked it. It was obviously some sort of chewing thingy to keep ponies' teeth in check! After all, Tomato's teeth drove him crazy, but chewing on stuff was oddly soothing. Maybe all ponies needed to chew things to calm down. He contently gnawed at the bit, wondering if he had to chew forever. 

Hay had taken a swig of his bitter drink before he realized that he had just done something stupid. Especially since the baby's gulp and the following blocked gasps and coughs were louder than a dog's bark, and the stallion had to only look up and see the horror on Tomato's face, the bit having disappeared from his grasp and his face turning blue.

His jaw dropped, and he rushed forward toward the choking colt. "Sweet Celestia, why did I do that?!"





Soon enough, they were at the doctor's office, the father holding his tiny son. While Tomato was cooing and reaching for the doctor's tools, his father stood there tiredly, frustrated that his little smack on the baby's back earlier didn't get the bit out, but rather went down the opposite direction. 

The doctor then walked in, and smiled at the sight of the stallion. 

"Well, well, well, I haven't seen my old schoolmate in a long time! Usually I see your wife around here with that toddler of yours." The doctor chuckled at the sight of the glaring father. "So, Hay, how's life treating you? I hope you didn't get any party hats stuck on your boy again."

Hay held Tomato in his foreleg, not caring that the colt was chewing on his tie. With a sigh, he responded, "I have two boys, Remedy. Cheese was the one that got the party hat stuck on his nose."

Remedy nodded. "That's right, you and your wife had another baby. What's this one's name?"

"Tomato."

"Tomato, eh?" Remedy leaned forward and ruffled the messy dark mane, happy to bring out some giggles from the baby. "Looks a lot like you! So what's his problem?"

"Well, I wasn't thinking straight, let him play with a bit, and then he choked on it. I tried to dislodge it... well, I did get him to breathe again, but it went the wrong direction. Can you get the coin out?"

Remedy scratched his chin. "Well, I can take an X-Ray to see if it's stuck in his esophagus or resting in his stomach. Better hope for the latter, since that's the option that allows it to pass through his digestive tract with little damage within a couple of days." He started going out the door and beckoned Hay to follow him down the hall. "What were you thinking giving him a bit to play with, anyway?"

"Couldn't sleep last night. Stayed up late doing extra work, and the couch is hard on my back." Hay sighed and rubbed his temple. "If Mozzarella finds out that I almost killed the baby she's going to kill me. She shouldn't have left me alone with the kid."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Remedy said with a grin. "Besides, your son is definitely worth an extra bit. If you make an investment with him, he might be worth a million someday..."

Hay Burger rolled his eyes. "Ha ha, very funny."





After it was confirmed that the coin would pass through, Hay Burger changed every one of Tomato's diapers that weekend, in hopes of hiding his mistake from his wife. He managed to get that bit on Monday morning. 
> The Mysterious Break-Ins of Cheese Sandwich
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mozzarella sighed in relief upon seeing the sleepy eyes of little Tomato. She did not know how long she had sat in that rocking chair, swaying like a boat on ocean waves in order to calm the fussy foal. Even after having been given his tri-hourly dose of colostrum, he had still been cranky. But, at last, her efforts paid off, and it was time for him to be placed in his crib.

It was best that he drifted off to sleep there. Mozzarella didn't want her grasp being the only way he could fall asleep. 

She left the room once the baby was settled in. Shutting the door behind her, she was off to try to force a kooky toddler into his bed. Naturally, when she made it to said toddler's room, he wasn't there. 

Cheese was a clever colt; he always managed to pop up in some of the strangest places, with no clear way on how he got there. He somehow popped onto a chandelier at a friends house, with all the mares there having hastily scrambled together a stack in order to reach him. That old grandfather clock in their living room had no easy path for a colt of three to climb up; and yet, he somehow managed to do it. Cheese's grandparents often reported that he somehow climbed a tree in the park. And then there were the times that he somehow teleported into the shower while either she or Hay Burger were using it--always to ask for a cookie, despite the constant scarcity of cookies in the house. 

Naturally, he was the hide-and-seek champion. And Mozzarella was forced into one of her least favorite games, and she had to win it if she wanted Cheese to go to bed. Since Hay Burger was working late tonight, she was on her own. 

She stuck her nose behind the couch, huffing at the mere dust bunnies that resided there. "Oh, where, oh, where has that colt gone?" 

She pulled her muzzle out with a pop, and rubbed it as she looked up at the grandfather clock. Cheese wasn't there either, so she pressed her cheek on the floor in order to take a good look under the couch, and then switched to the other to look under the coffee table. Then after she peeled her cheek off the floor, she trotted into the kitchen for a good look at the top of the fridge, then through the various cupboards, and a stomach-tightening glance into the oven. No colt in any of those places. 

Perhaps I should check the bathroom, she thought. 

However, on her way to the bathroom, a fit of giggles and squeaks made their way out of Tomato's nursery. A quizzical look crossed her face, and she had sworn that she made sure the baby was sleepy. Unless...

She opened the door, and sure enough, there was Cheese, using the crib as a trampoline, and dragging his little brother into his bouncy dance. Not that the younger Sandwich minded; in fact, Tomato's squeal was absolutely devoid of any of his earlier irritability. 

Cheese's big eyes soon spotted his mother. "Hi, Mama! Tommy was awake!"

"Weeee!" Tomato exclaimed.

Mozzarella's eye twitched, and several curls sprang out of her neatly done mane. 



 

The next day, after laying Tomato down for a nap, she made sure to lock the door. While she had told her older son how babies needed to take frequent naps to grow, it was hard to explain to him why Tomato wasn't fully asleep when he was put in his crib. After all, Cheese's toddler brain reasoned that if Tomato was in any way awake, having his eyes open even a tiny bit, it was okay to play with him. It was all black and white to the colt, and it didn't help that Tomato was always happy to see his big brother. 

A simple lock should be enough to keep Cheese away while Tomato slept. She strode to the kitchen, glancing at the three-year-old coloring in a coloring book, and heading to the kitchen table in order to keep him in sight. 

As she sat and read the newspaper, she thought about how she needed to take a trip to the store and get groceries. Perhaps later, when Tomato was awake, she'd drop him and Cheese off at her parents' house, then pick them up when she was done shopping. She didn't want to bring Cheese to the store; the moment he'd see candy, he'd cry, beg, and scream for her to get it, as little foals were wont to do. And it would just bring judgmental glares in their direction, wondering why she didn't control her child. 

She thought of the last time that happened and snorted. Well, excuse me for not wanting to spoil my son, she thought. It's not like I'm my sister, who would have spoiled him rotten...

She looked up, and saw that the spot that Cheese had occupied was now vacant. "Oh, no, where'd he go?" 

She hopped out of her seat, and immediately went to the colt's room. When seeing that he wasn't there, she checked the bathroom. The bathroom was followed by the broom closet, under the couch, and then her bedroom. Marching around the house, she thought about how much it irritated her when Cheese pulled the hide-and-seek stunt. She even wondered if he had went outside, even though she didn't hear the door open at all. 

In passing the nursery on her way to the front door, she froze upon hearing the laughter of two small colts. Backing up a bit, she jiggled the handle, which refused to turn thanks to the lock. Blinking, she swept into the kitchen to nab the key before returning to the door. 

Sure enough, the opened door revealed that a little game of chase was going on, with Cheese scurrying around the floor in a playful attempt to escape the awkward gallop of baby Tomato. The tiny colt stumbled and fell when startled by his mother opening the door, which prompted immediate attention from his big brother. 

After helping Tomato up, Cheese looked up at Mozzarella. "Hi, Mama! Tommy was awake!"

Mozzarella grinded her teeth for a moment before swallowing and taking a breath. "Yes... I know, Cheese. But, he was tired, and I was trying to put him to sleep."

Cheese tilted his head. "Why?"

"He needs lots of sleep to be healthy and grow into a proud, strong stallion." Mozzarella rubbed her temple, wishing for a better way to put it. "And I'm trying to get him to learn how to fall asleep on his own."

Cheese glanced at the cooing Tomato, who was now busy sucking his hoof. "But he's awake."

"And he was supposed to go to sleep! It's his nap time!" She picked up Tomato and pointed at the door. "Get back to coloring, Cheese. You're not supposed to play with him when he's supposed to be having his nap."

Cheese unleashed the puppy-dog eyes and pouted. "But, Mama, I wanna play with him!"

"You know I don't fall for the puppy-dog eyes easily."

Cheese whimpered, and cried, "Lemme play with him!"

"No. Let him sleep." Before Cheese could let out that first scream, she added, "You try that stunt, you won't go to Grandma's."

Cheese blinked. "Gramma's?"

Mozzarella sighed. "Yes. I was thinking about taking you and Tomato once he had his nap, but since you won't let him, I suppose I won't take you there after all."

"No! No! I want Gramma!"

"Then will you let Tomato have his nap?"

Cheese pursed his lips before nodding. 

"Good, now back to the living room."

Cheese galloped out of the nursery, prompting Tomato to reach out for him with his little hooves. Bouncing the whimpering foal, Mozzarella grabbed a pacifier from a nearby dresser and popped it into his mouth. "Now, now, there's no need to fuss. Your brother's not going anywhere--it's not like he's going to leave Manehattan anytime soon. I'm expecting that day to come when he's all grown up."

She turned to the crib and placed him in. Straightening back to her full height, she looked at the door, followed by looking everywhere else in the room. "Just how did he get in here, anyway? The door was locked."





Door locked, shutters locked, lights low, and tired baby in the crib. She held the key on a necklace, in case there was an emergency. And she was keeping a close eye on her mischievous toddler, making sure he didn't wander away from his coloring book or building blocks. So far, Cheese was content in his activity, drawing chickens on the pages (Mozzarella grew irritated that he wasn't coloring within the lines). 

Then, she made the mistake of deciding it was bath time. 

She had tried to sneak up on him with the towel, but the moment Cheese noticed, he sped off, knowing the danger of the towel. She gave chase, and they bounded through the house until she finally cornered him in his room and nabbed him. She resisted his squirming as she carried him to the bathroom, and had locked the door behind her once they were inside. 

She started up the water, and put her hoof under the running water to make sure it was lukewarm. "Now, Cheese, as much as you like running around in filth, there comes a point where it becomes unhealthy. I want clean little boys, and if Tomato can hold still in his bath, I'm certain you can t--" She turned around to the toilet where Cheese had once sat, and discovered he was gone. "Where'd he go?"

That was a stupid question; she knew exactly where he went. 

Unlocking the door of the nursery, it turned out she was right. Cheese had somehow arranged a birthday party for Tomato (even though Tomato was just two and a half months old), having invited all his stuffed animals to partake in some 'cake'--which were very clearly made out of mud. Tomato was messily eating the stuff, while Cheese was singing "Happy Birthday" to him. 

Mozzarella had so many questions. Namely why he brought mud into the house when she clearly didn't approve, where he even got the mud, how did he get it so fast... scratch that, how did he break out of the locked bathroom, then out and back into the locked house, and into Tomato's locked nursery all under a minute. Her mind couldn't come up with an explanation, even as she stared at her eldest son. 

She threw her hooves up. "How?!"





Early the next morning, while both boys were still in bed, their mother was going off on a spiel to her husband. 

"...and that's why Cheese drives me nuts!" Mozzarella pulled at her red mane, leaning on the kitchen table. "Believe me, Hay Burger, those mishaps with your co-workers are nothing compared to what that toddler puts me through!"

Hay Burger sat across from her, reading the newspaper, and only pausing to take bites of his oatmeal in front of him. "That's nice."

Mozzarella scowled at him. "You're not listening, are you?"

Hay lowered the newspaper just so he could show her a raised eyebrow. "Are you sure you're not just exaggerating normal toddler behavior? It's not like he's any worse than my nephew--that little monster always ruined my perfectly organized bookshelves."

Mozzarella slammed her hooves on the table. "Teleporting into places he shouldn't be--and he's not a unicorn, mind you--is not normal toddler behavior! Something's up with Cheese, and I've got to figure out how to get it under control. After all, if the rest of the neighborhood finds out that our son is... is... a freak, they won't ever leave us alone about it! And you know how some ponies like to get dirt on me." 

Hay ate a little more of his oatmeal, and hid his face behind the newspaper. "Big whoop. You're a big girl, you can handle it."

Mozzarella scratched at the table, a frustrated grunt seeping out of her. "Gee, thanks for being a sensitive and caring husband. None of the parenting books has anything on what to do when earth pony toddlers exhibit behaviors like that. Not even his grandmother being a unicorn can explain it--genetics don't work that way!"

Hay raised his head and lowered the newspaper a little, his eyes closed and nose upturned in a haughty manner. "Well, that's too bad. The universe can't bend to your whim, and you'll have to deal with this wild card." He turned back to continue to read his newspaper. "That's something you have to acc--YIKES!"

Something had appeared before him, and Hay Burger tumbled backward onto the floor--chair, newspaper, and all--hitting his head in the process. He clutched his head, and stared up at the culprit in shock. 

Mozzarella would have been smug if the culprit that had suddenly appeared before him had been Cheese, just like she described; however, instead, it was Tomato, who had decided that his father's oatmeal would make a great snack. She blinked, having sworn that he had still been in his crib when she last checked, and that the nursery door had been locked. She processed the meaning of this as she stared at her younger son, who was contently chewing on the warm, mushy cereal. 

She leaned on the table and rubbed her temples, moaning, "Not you too..."