> The Escapades of Lord Corn Wall
>  by Megatron
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Intro and the Time Machine
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Equestria all Ponies work for the good of all. From the Royalty and leadership to the common folk all strive for the sake of peace, happiness, and friendship. All that is except for the Nobility of Canterlot. These strange individuals are the backwards products of a time that they believed still existed when in fact it had died away long ago. Perhaps there is no better example of this than the Pony Noble known as Lord Corn Wall. 

Cornwall’s ancestor the great Corn Lord had ruled as a feudal overlord of sorts during the reign of Discord, promising sanity in a world gone mad to the desperate earthpony farmers who had all ripped away from them. After a short time Corn Lord had the loyalty of nearly every Farm and Peasant in Equestria (which gave him his name) and he used this to gain extreme amounts of wealth and power in the land. When Luna and Celestial arrived and defeated Discord using the elements of harmony, they found that this overlord had already been hard at work growing nearly endless fields of crops. They took advantage of the situation by making a deal with Corn Lord, saying that if he pledged loyalty to the new kingdom of Equestria that he and his descendants would be given a place of wealth and power in the hierarchy. Corn Lord accepted. But as generations passed things changed. Eventually the system changed and peasantry was no more. These peasants became independent farmers (several even created inventions that would earn them so much wealth that they became nobles themselves and created rival houses). 

Now in modern day Equestria there are roughly a dozen noble houses that all desire nothing more than the complete and utter ruination of all their competitors and even dominion over all of Equestria. Corn Wall of course was one of them and had made it his life work to emerge on top. This of course was complete and utter fantasy, for with every other house trying to do the exact same thing all were doomed to failure from the very start. Celestia knew this full well and it was for this very reason that she never truly intervened or disbanded the Nobles. She figured that it kept true tyrants and rebels from rising up and was also extremely fun to watch. Nobles were creative but extremely irrational and impulsive. They commonly came up insane plots to try and gain the uper hand against the opposition. These plans ranged from brilliant and daring to downright sad. But either due to the actions of the opponent or the plans themselves these plans always failed. That in no way discouraged the Nobles though. 

On this particular day Cornwall awoke to knocking on his door from his personal bodyguard Fire Star. “My lord are you there?” Fire Star inquired anxiously. “Zap Watt believes that he has finished the device!” with those words Corn Wall leapt from his warm bed and searched for his coat and top hat (two items that a noble simply couldn’t go out in public without). 
“Meet me by the elevator, we’ll meet up with Zap Watt there.” Corn Wall commanded. Fire Star immediately obeyed his master’s request and made his way to the elevator.

Corn Wall stepped outside his room into the main hall of Corn Manor, where the stained glass windows splashed color across his grey coat and white mane. His corn stalk Cutie mark, though reflective of his name, reflected none of his actual talent and the only reason he had it was because his ancestors also all had it as well. This has nothing to do with Heredity, for the only reason this same mark appeared time and time again was simply due to the fact that Nobles lived off the fame, deeds, and 
Fortune of their ancestors. Fire Star’s mark however reflected perfectly his life’s path, as it was a shield wreathed in red fire set against his black coat and orange mane. Fire Star wore only a large peaked cap upon his head (that he referred to as “the Commissar’s cap”) that he had purchased from a local Canterlot vendor immediately after becoming Corn Wall’s bodyguard due to how cool it looked. 

Upon meeting by the elevator the two called a lift to take them down to the secret underground laboratory where Corn Wall’s hired scientists, researchers, and engineers worked tirelessly on machines that could be used to somehow turn the tides in his favor (Corn Wall thought that by doing this he was being insanely clever when in fact all the other houses happened to be doing the exact same thing). Chief among them was Zap Watt a Pony who is regarded as one of the most brilliant and insane of his generation. He earned his name due to his thought pattern that electricity could do anything if applied in large enough amounts. This was reflected in his Cutie mark (if one could it that). This mark was a single blue lightning bolt that constantly pulsed and shifted with varying shades of blue light. This lead to Cornwall being so disturbed by it that he required all scientists to wear very thick lab coats at all times so that he wouldn’t have to see it. His light tan coat and white mane were covered in coal black scorch marks left by wayward electricity resulting from his experiments. These mad experiments with electricity ranged from attempts at mastering robotics to outright breaking the very laws of Physics themselves. A research team from the University of Canterlot had sought to determine how Zap
Watt’s mind got to be this way and just how it operated. So far this Endeavour has been a dismal failure and the team is on the edge of giving up. 

At last the lift reached Zap Watt’s personal lab floor and the Noble went out to inspect his newest invention, a time machine that could (supposedly) take all inside to any point in time they desired. “Is it finished?” Corn Wall inquired. 
“Yes lard my Tyme Maschine is ready!” Zap Watt responded in his strange accent. “Ve efen hafe enough elektricity built ap in the coils for a transportation!” 
“You’ve tested it already?” Fire Star asked with a tone of disbelief. 
“Vell noh but I vigured zhat ve could prevorm zhe virst jarney today!” With those words a look of pleasure crossed the Nobles face as he devised a plan that he believed would end the great struggle of the houses forever and leave him as the unquestioned ruler of all Equestria. 
“Make ready the device for three passengers we’ll test this machine personally.” Corn Wall ordered. Without any further instruction Zap Watt sprung into action, pulling levers and pushing buttons with speed rarely glimpsed at in the mortal realm. 
“You can’t be serious my lord?” Fire Star concerningly inquired. 
“Come my friend, time itself bows to us!” Corn Wall said while moving towards the time machine. 

The time machine was a large, globe shaped chamber located at the far side of the lab with signs that read “Zap Watt’s time machine DON’T TOUCH OR ELSE!” like everything Zap Watt created, the device was covered in Tesla coils so that it could radiate electricity in all directions. Zap Watt believed that this ensured that it would work. And while this was in keeping with his firm belief that electricity could do anything, in truth it didn’t make the slightest difference (the University team was also unable to determine how Zap Watt’s inventions worked with such inefficient designs). 

By the time Fire Star reached the machine he could see that Zap Watt and Corn Wall were already inside and motioning for him to join them. After a few seconds of thought he reluctantly joined them and the steel door shut behind him.
“What must I do to get this machine working?” Corn Wall asked.
Zap Watt responded “you mast type zhe year und zhe date into zhe machine using zhis keyboard zhat I invented lazt tuezday.” 
“What’s a keyboard?” 
“Zhat black box zhing bellow zhe vindow.” Corn Wall went to the keyboard and typed in the year before the royal sisters had come to Equestria, then he motioned for Zap Watt to turn the time machine on. Zap Watt did this with the flick of a single switch. Then the three of them were thrown into the ball of time.

Time travel in practice was not nearly as pleasant an affair as it was on paper. One did not simply teleported to their destination, but instead had to randomly travel through all of time until they reached their destination. This was so rapid and chaotic that the time travelers themselves saw nothing but a colorful blur that seemed to last for a few seconds before they finally reached solid ground. They found themselves in the middle of a town square packed with ponies moving in all different directions. A near by newspaper confirmed that the date had not changed.

Zap Watt compared the time on his pocket watch to that of the clock tower in the center of town and stated “interesting ve appear to have travelled ten zeckonds into zhe futar”. “Either zhat or my vatch is off”. 
“Where the hay are we?” Cornwall questioned. 
“This looks like Ponyville, a small village outside Canterlot, I was here as a Colt once.” Fire Star said. “The train station is this way follow me!” they all followed, still disoriented from (possibly) having traveled through time. Once they reached the station they saw that every train to Canterlot was either gone or down for maintenance. They would be trapped here for the night. 

Lord Corn Wall did what he always did at a moment like this, searched for the nearest Pub. Nobles tended to drink nothing but alcoholic (though extremely watered down) drinks with any meal and at any time of the day. These drinks are considered to be some of the worst tasting beverages in all of reality (in unreal space they are second only to the infamous “Discordian mind destroying tree sap ale.) Ponyville however was unlike any other town Cornwall had ever known due to the fact that it lacked any bars, pubs, or distilleries in the first place. Lord Corn Wall was utterly cutoff from his lifeblood and would have to resort to the most desperate of acts, consuming the drinks of commoners without any alcohol to make them bearable. This on top of the complete failure of his greatest plan quickly caused him to consider this his darkest hour. 

The only Inn in town was a large but humble building that had little hospitality other than a warming fire and a roof that protected you from rain. Reflecting alone in his room, with only a cup of putrid tea to comfort him, Lord Corn Wall came to the conclusion that time travel was a bad idea and couldn’t work for him. He instead must find a more conventional means to victory. Perhaps he could raise unrest among Steel Heart’s foundry workers, crippling her industry and forcing her to put aside any plots against his farms. Maybe planting a rumor of Gold Hoof forming an alliance with Water Eye could divert attention away from his expansion into new, fertile lands. Corn Wall pondered on ideas like these for hours until night had fallen and he could keep his eyes open no longer. He slept easy knowing that tomorrow a train would arrive to take him home. For once he was there he would have a new plan for victory in the eternal struggle of the houses. He would have 100% confidence in this plan just as he had every other before it. He thought as he always did, this time things would be different.
> Redacted
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

After his return home from Ponyville, Lord Corn Wall had begun the process of setting his new plans into motion. Many of these plans would break down in the preparation stages either due to another noble doing something similar or the plan itself being physically impossible. In fact nothing notable happened until the mail arrived roughly a week after the failed time machine experiment. As Fire Star skimmed through the masses of ads, bills, and miscellaneous other letters he found one that stood out from the others not due to content or appearance, but due to the sender. The name was so much like any other he had ever seen that he thought it was from a rich foreigner or even an alien! These claims were baseless but made sense in Fire Star’s mind.

“My lord I have a piece of mail that might interest you!” Fire Star said in frenzy. 
“Is it the latest issue of Distinguished Gentleman’s Monthly?” asked Corn Wall.
“No my lord.”
“Is it the Annual Mares of Canterlot Calendar?”
“No my lord, I think it’s from some foreigner!”
“Who sent it?” 
Fire Star starred at the name for a few seconds before trying to read it aloud. “Red Ack Ted.” He finally spilled out. “That doesn’t sound like anypony’s name I’ve ever heard of.” Corn Wall grabbed the letter and read the name for himself.
“That’s not Red Ack Ted, it says Redacted!” Anger swelled within Corn Wall. “The government has been censoring our mail again!”
“Is that good?” asked Fire Star.
“No it’s not!” responded Corn Wall. “I’m taking this matter up with the princess!”

To the average Pony, complaining to the princess in person was a truly mad action. Many would never dream of it let alone for something as silly as one letter having been censored (not even necessarily by the government). Nobles on the other hand, complained so often that the royal guards knew each by name. Trying to stop them was pointless due to the fact that they never take no for an answer and that Celestia would always let them through anyways due to the fact that she found their pointless problems entertaining. Celestia saw Lord Corn Wall entering the room and immediately put down the book she was reading, Corn Wall was gullible and she had managed to make him humiliate himself in a multitude of different ways in front of the common folk. 

“What is it Corn Wall?” she said, holding back laughter.
“Your majesty, I received a letter this morning that was censored, did you play any part in this?” Corn Wall inquired.
“Not at all, why would I censor a noble’s mail?” Celestia responded.
“Well that’s what I was wondering, who would censor the sender of a letter?”
“I’ve heard that the baker’s guild has been sending censored ads to everypony in Canterlot so that they can get away with spamming your mail box twice!” Celestia said.
“Oh I say, I’m going down to the baker’s guild office so that I can teach them not to spam the great and mighty Lord Corn Wall!” and with those words Cornwall dashed out of the throne room and Celestia burst into laughter immediately after he was out of earshot. 

For you see, Celestia herself had sent the letter to Corn Wall knowing that it would cause him to come questioning. She did not predict however just how easily he believed the false diversion she had thrown at him. Once she finished laughing she picked up the book again, still giggling, and eagerly awaited for the results of Corn Walls “lesson to the baker’s guild”. 

The baker’s guild was based in a shabby building near the edge of the city except for the fact that it had a giant muffin on the sign. Though the baker’s guild resembled the average bakery in function and design the ponies in it couldn’t be more different. They had no love of cooking and thus worried only about the quantity of their goods and not the quality. Their leader had earned himself the loathing of Celestia due to his greed and vanity. It was for this reason that she sent an angry Lord Corn Wall his way. 

“I demand an audience with your master!” Corn Wall announced as he burst into the room.
“He’s up in the room upstairs.” Responded a strangely calm Bureaucrat. 
“Right, tally-ho I say!” Corn Wall said, charging up stairs. These stairs however weren’t like ordinary stairs due to the fact that they didn’t seem to end. It has long been theorized that this was due to the baker’s guild office having been built over a spot that had been saturated with magical energy at some point. While the stairs went far past the height of the building, they did eventually end. Corn Wall had now ended up in a place more terrifying than the staircase, the upstairs hallway. On one side of the hallway there was a line of secretaries all seated and staring at Lord Corn Wall. 

The leader of the baker’s guild was under the impression that the more ponies you threw at a problem the quicker it would go away. When he heard that there were slight problems with scheduling he used his normal method and simply hired more secretaries. Instead of having more secretaries for the office however, he thought that it would help if he gave his secretary her own secretary. And then he gave that secretary a secretary and so on until he couldn’t fit any more secretaries in the unnaturally long hallway. The horror of having to go up the never ending staircase everyday combined with the confusion brought by this odd secretary chain must have caused them to develop some sort of shared hive mind. 

“Why are you here?” the secretaries asked in unison.
Lord Corn Wall paused for a moment before replying “I’d like to speak with your manager.”
“The Great One is in the room at the end of the hallway.” They said.
“…Thank you.” Said a very unnerved Corn Wall. He tried to ignore the secretaries and moved down the hall. Above the door he saw a sign that read “THE AWESOMEST PONY IN THE UNIVERSE!” in bright red letters.
Corn Wall entered the office to see the guild leader sitting at his desk, counting his bits. “Who the hay are you?” he asked.
“I am Lord Corn Wall, noble of Equestria, and I demand that you stop sending out censored ads at once!” the guild leader starred blankly at Corn Wall for a second before laughing. 
“Noble of Equestria that’s a new one. Who put you up to this? Barley? Sun?”
“I say! A Stallion of my stature will not be treated this way!” The guild leader simply kept laughing until Corn Wall, infuriated, stormed out of the room, spitting curses under his breath. 

Upon exiting the room, Corn Wall saw the secretaries were once again starring at him. They looked him over for a few seconds then started chanting, “Join us!” Lord Corn Wall was terrified and came to the conclusion that this building was evil. The ads didn’t matter anymore all that he cared about now was escaping. He ran past the grabbing arms of the secretaries and went as quickly down the stairs as his Pony legs could go (surprisingly fast considering he was a noble). Once he reached the ground floor he charged out the door, knocking back several bureaucrats to do so. The bureaucrats thought nothing of this and many didn’t even look up from their work since most visitors ended up leaving in this way. For Lord Corn Wall it was one of the most terrifying moments of his life. For those who worked there, it was Thursday. 

And so Corn Wall fled back to the safety of his manor house, paranoid that this hive mind might extend beyond that hallway (thankfully it did not). The noble vowed never to buy anything from the baker’s guild in an act of revenge (this wouldn’t make any noticeable difference in their sales) and ordered all letters from Redacted burnt (ultimately Celestia wouldn’t send anymore). When news of the affair reached Celestia she laughed hard, amazed at just how well her plan had worked.
> The Expedition
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The wasteland sun scorched the caravan, forcing possessions and ponies alike to swelter under its oppressive glare. These wastes seemed barren at first glance, but hid valuable treasures if one knew where to look. It was the promise of these treasures that had brought Lord Corn Wall out here in the first place. Nearly three days ago he had received a letter from a prospector in Appleloosa named Brass Dawn. Brass Dawn had reason to believe that there were ancient ruins in the vast empty deserts east of Appleloosa and asked for help and funding. Corn Wall agreed on the condition that he is allowed to take a quarter of the treasure for himself. Now he was part of this great expedition, searching for the signs of a lost civilization among the barren dunes. 

Suddenly the wagon in front stopped and Corn Wall looked out from under his wagon’s covering to see what the problem was. What he saw was one of the most amazing sights in his life. Before his eyes stood a massive stone structure built into the side of a great mountain. At the outer doors stood statues half buried in the dunes by centuries of dust storms. And right beside them, a camp was being hastily put into place. 
“Wake up, we’re here!” Corn Wall barked, startling Fire Star back out of his peaceful dreams.
“We’ve reached the ruins?” inquired a dazed Fire Star. 
“Yes, and the others are setting up the camp as we speak.”
“Well let’s go meet up with Brass Dawn again!”

As they exited the covered wagon they realized just how much time had passed. The sun was low in the horizon and it was obvious that they would only have a few hours of sunlight left. The exploration would have to wait until tomorrow. Brass Dawn was overlooking the ruins, discussing how to breach the sealed doors with a demolitions expert. When the noble reached them the demolitions expert went back to his tent so that Corn Wall and Brass Dawn could talk.
“Ah there you are. I was wonderin’ if y’all would like to come with us down to the tomb.” Said Brass Dawn. Lord Corn Wall had to think for a few seconds in order to understand what he was just asked (this is the exact reason he didn’t bring Zap Watt along, he had learned the hard way that too many accents in one place could end in a titanic explosion). 
“This place is a tomb?” asked Corn Wall
“Yep, this leads to the burial chamber of Empress Sand Heart.”
“Well then, we would be happy to go along.”
“Great! We’ll be headin’ out tomorrow so set up your tent and wait ‘till sunrise.”

The noble and his bodyguard left, to get the tent up and rest for the day ahead. These tents were made to be as utilitarian as possible, and as such were simple to set up despite their size. Once all the belongings they had taken with them were inside, Corn Wall closed the tent and let a few candles to provide light in the rapidly darkening enclosure. The two ate a quick meal before heading straight to their beds on opposite sides of the tent to rest for the day ahead.

The two ponies were awakened not by the sun or an expedition member, but by a startling boom. They rushed outside to see that this noise was the result of the tomb entrance being blown open by several tons of dynamite. Prospectors didn’t like being subtle. By the time they had reached the blast site, the dust had cleared and the team led by Brass Dawn was preparing to enter the dark monolith. 

The light from torches revealed amazing carvings all around the tomb depicting the great battle that had won Sand Heart her mighty empire. Scattered across the gargantuan room were stone tables and chairs that had clearly been made to stand the test of time. At the end of the room a giant throne sat empty that rivaled Celestia’s in sheer beauty. In front of the throne there was a Sarcophagus of pure gold, decorated with carvings of the empress that was entombed within rising over the temple to rule the entire world on it’s flat surface. Even more noticeable than this however, was a glowing blue orb that sat on a pedestal above the surface of the Sarcophagus. The blue light within the orb swirled endlessly like a storm raging eternally in the sky. 

Everypony starred at the orb for several minutes, seemingly unnerved by the spectacle. Corn Wall got a flask out of his pack and took several large swigs before Brass Dawn stepped up to the pedestal and grabbed the orb. When he did so, his eyes seemed to turn the same shade of glowing blue for a second before returning to normal. 
“We need to get back to the camp so that we can eat some lunch.” The prospector said in a deeper voice and milder accent. With those words all in the room could feel their stomachs grumbling and agreed that they needed to return to camp. 

Strangely, when they got back and began grabbing small meals, Brass Dawn went straight to his tent and starred at the orb until everypony else had finished eating and was ready to go back. He put the orb deep within his pack before leaving as if it were to valuable to leave in his personal tent. The rest of the day was spent scouring the tomb and surrounding ruins for treasure and artifacts. Any items of historical value were to be sent to the Canterlot archives and other items were given to Lord Corn Wall in return for his funding. Brass Dawn spent this time looking at the Sarcophagus and the carvings above. By nightfall all had fallen into a deep sleep after the days work, all except for Brass Dawn who was once again staring at the orb intently. 

Like the day before, the noble was awoken from his slumber by loud noise. These sounds were not the work of explosions but rather, the sounds of a struggle. Again Lord Corn Wall emerged from his tent and saw that Brass Dawn had overpowered several other expedition members who had tried to restrain him. Before anypony could react, Fire Star rushed towards the prospector and in an instant, he was thrown back as well. 
“What in Celestia’s name are you doing?” the noble shouted.
“The will of my empress.” Brass Dawn responded, his accent now completely gone.
“Whom are you talking about?”
“Empress Sand Heart, the rightful ruler of this world.”
“But that’s impossible! She died centuries ago!”
“My queen lives on in the orb and only requires a physical form to create a second Empire of the Silver Dunes! And your Princess Celestia is the perfect vessel!” With those words Brass Dawn pointed the orb up into the sky and a bolt of thunder struck the area in front of him and summoned forth a spectral carriage to carry him forwards. Once onboard this carriage immediately headed north towards Canterlot. 

Corn Wall rushed towards Fire Star, who was picking himself up and putting his hat back on. 
“I say, are you alright?” asked Corn Wall.
Fire Star quickly glanced around before answering, “yeah but that’s not our concern, we need to stop that prospector!”
“Agreed, but how are we going to get there?”
“Simple we take a wagon and go to appleloosa then take the train to Canterlot it’ll be a lot faster.” The two then immediately departed for Appleloosa at full speed. 

This plan wasn’t guaranteed to work due to the fact that trains arrive at set times, but thankfully the train was waiting for them when they arrived. They hopped onboard and hoped that the train wouldn’t breakdown along the way. After an uneventful journey they had at last made it to Canterlot with not a second to spare. They could see Brass Dawn running at full speed towards the palace and they had to try and beat him there.

Upon entering the palace gates the elite royal guard left unconscious across the tiled floor. Knowing that Brass Dawn was near the throne room, they rushed forwards as fast as possible. They had been making a classic mistake, thinking that Celestia was defenseless. If anything the opposite was true and the princess would have used her amazing powers to destroy the Empress and free the poor prospector that she had mind controlled as a pawn. Fortunately what Fire Star did worked just as well (though Celestia’s method would have been amazing see). Once he was close enough, the bodyguard leapt towards the prospector, knocking him over and causing the orb to fly into the air and shatter onto the ground. Upon breaking, a phantom with the visage of Empress Sand Heart rose from the broken orb like smoke from a fire and let loose a howling wail before vanishing in an instant. 

After seeing all this the princess (who hadn’t yet been able to figure out what was happening asked, “What the hay was that?” No response was given, as neither Brass Dawn nor Lord Corn Wall knew the answer for themselves. Brass Dawn was in fact, unable to recall any of the events after he had touched the orb. The three of them simply apologized for what had happened and left the palace as quickly as they could. They would return to the campsite where they would try to explain to everypony else what happened before taking all of the items they had recovered to Appleloosa. And then, Lord Corn Wall would return with new trinkets, ready to return to the eternal struggle of the noble houses once more.
> The Meteor
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a calm night in Equestria and all seemed at peace. A gentle breeze swept the land as the stars shined brightly in the heavens. It was the middle of summer in Equestria and the lazy spirit of its residence showed it. For the young it was a time to play and relax while their schools were closed. The adults had no concerns on their minds either, harvest was ages away in the minds of farmers and everypony was looking forward to the summer sun celebration that was soon to come. That is why it was such a shock when fire rained from the sky. For on that fateful day a strange meteor fell from the stars and crashed into the Everfree Forest. All knew immediately that this was no ordinary meteor either due to the alien green glow that it exerted. 

This unknown object held limitless potential and it was assumed that, given time, could end up changing Equestria forever. Some worried that this change may be negative while others speculated that this “fallen star” was useless and would serve as nothing more than a curiosity. All agreed however that this meteor would be worth many times its weight in Bits and that Celestia would be sending a team to retrieve it immediately. Celestia however had other, more subtle ways of retrieving this item.

First to even think of retrieving the meteor was Lord Corn Wall’s arch nemesis, Steel Heart. Steel Heart was Corn Wall’s primary competitor among the nobles due to the fact that both were based firmly around to very different doctrines. The latter’s ancestors had come to power in the times of old and were aligned with the farmers who have long formed the backbone of Equestrian society. Steel Heart was descended from unicorns who had only recently risen to the status of nobility by using their magic to create technology. Steel Heart herself was very different from most nobles due to the fact that she looked to the future rather than lingering in the past and sought to improve upon existing technology and industrialize Equestria. This alone made her a threat to the legacy of the great Corn Lord and thus a threat to his descendent, Lord Corn Wall. 

As usual, Corn Wall was among the last to be informed of the meteor and didn’t see any actual value in it. However, he knew that Steel Heart was eager to seize it and he should move to take it first for the sake of keeping it away from her and keeping her power from growing any greater. He had been competing against her long enough to know how she thought. She was a logical thinker and was with out a doubt on the train to Ponyville at this very moment where she would recruit locals and for a team that could both protect her from the strange creatures lurking in the forest and carry the meteor back with them. Her only true weakness is that the train would take time and gathering locals would be slow. Corn Wall took his two most loyal servants, Fire Star and Zap Watt and left to scale the mountain that Canterlot stood upon and move into the Everfree Forest by cutting through the town of Ralistok. 

Fire Star was an obvious choice to go on a mission like this but taking Zap Watt into a potential fight worried the noble. It had nothing to do with the fact that Zap Watt was nonviolent or cowardly as one might expect from a scientist but the contrary, Zap Watt enjoyed the brutality of battle too much. He loved all aspects of electricity including its terrifying affects on the mortal shell. This is one of many reasons why nopony truly liked Zap Watt. Within the hour the three ponies had their equipment ready and were ready to depart. 
“Is everypony ready?” asked Lord Corn Wall.
“Yes my lord!” the bodyguard responded.
“I hope zhat zhis meteor has lots of electricity around it!” piped Zap Watt.
“Zap? What in Celestia’s name is that thing around your right hoof?” Fire Star asked while pointing at a large gauntlet that the scientist was wearing. 
Zap Watt chuckled manically for a second before replying, “Zhat my friend is zhe Tesla Destroyer Mark ten!”
“What the hay does it do?”
“It Destroys zhings in zhe most brutal and amazing way possible!”
“Um, I’m sorry I asked, let’s go.” 

And with those words the team began the journey down the winding mountain path towards Ralistok and the Everfree Forest. The trip went well and like any trip that goes well the details are extremely boring. It wasn’t until they got off the mountain and reached the road to Ralistok did they come across trouble. For along the road there were a large number of tents set up. One elder carrying a lantern approached them. 
“Halt! Go no further unless you seek your own doom!” He barked. 
The noble responded, “I say, what are you raving on about.”
“The dead have risen in Ralistok and seek to slay any who enter the town!” Proclaimed the elder. 
“Did zhey return because of zhe meteor?” inquired Zap Watt. 
“No that’s nonsense, the dead always rise in town this time of year.” The elder said calmly.
“Whatever, we can handle a few decaying bags of bones. Good day to you sir!” Corn Wall said while signaling for the others to move.

At this point in time the sun had set and the group would have to move by torchlight. Everything was calm until they reached the edge of Ralistok and felt a strange unease. They all moved more cautiously and were startled by every noise. It wasn’t until they reached the center of town that they truly understood the elder’s warning. They saw that the undead were more numerous than they had and anticipated and instead of “decaying bags of bones” they were mostly intact engines of doom that instantly charged towards the group with terrifying speed. Zap Watt lifted his right hoof and fired a huge bolt of electricity at the horde. This did absolutely nothing but stun the risen dead for a few moments though. 
“It zeems zhat zhis voltage is ineffective, zhat’s something I’ll have to fix with zhe next model.” The scientist said, undaunted. 
“Never mind that! What do we do?” asked a panicked Fire Star.
“We’ll have to fall back on a strategy I’ve used a million times in the past… run for the exit!” commanded Lord Corn Wall. Without another word, everypony charged down the road and were soon in the Everfree Forest, safe from the undead but now deep in the most dangerous corner of Equestria. 

The Everfree Forest was an enigma. In this forest resided monstrous creatures and kind beings that seemed to take no notice of each other. An hour could seem like a day and a day could seem like an hour. The seasons had no effect and the weather was static. Zap Watt was personally disturbed by the fact that there were few good conductors in the forest. The march towards the green glow that now shined like a beacon in the pitch darkness was long and uninterrupted save for the occasional bat flying overhead (a fair number of whom had the misfortune of being shocked by Zap Watt at least once). By midnight the trio had reached crater and move towards the source of the glow. This meteor was no mere rock but a metallic cylinder that glowed brightly even against the moonlight that poured in through the massive gaps in the canopy that it had rendered on its downfall. 
“Quickly grab that thing and move towards Ponyville before she gets here!” ordered Corn Wall.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Said a familiar voice from the darkness.

Stepping out from the shadows came the dark blue form of Steel Heart, with her white mane flying in the wind and her grey eyes shinning in the moonlight.
“Grab them!” she commanded. Out of the darkness came a large group of ponies that restrained the group before they could escape. 
“Oh I say! You madam, qualify as a binder!” shouted Lord Corn Wall. Everypony wore a blank expression while trying to figure out what exactly that meant. 
“Now I will take this artifact and harness its power to start an industrial revolution!” Steel Heart shouted.
“But none of us know if zhis zhing does anything.” Interjected Zap Watt. 
“I know that it has to do something after all why would it be glowing?”
“Just because it glows doesn’t mean it’s actually useful.” Answered Fire Star. Steel Heart said nothing and took the bodyguard’s hat. “Give me that back.” 
“Why?” Steel Heart said. “What are you going to do about it?” After that last word, Fire Star went into a rage and threw back the ponies holding him down. He then knocked all of the others to the ground before going to the know petrified Steel Heart, swiping the hat out of her hands and placing it back upon his head.
“One of you grab that thing, we’re getting out of here.” Said Fire Star. Zap Watt took the cylinder and the trio fled the scene leaving a still shocked Steel Heart behind. 

Things were quiet after the train ride back to Canterlot. The cylinder itself was quickly forgotten by Corn Wall who only truly cared about his victory over Steel Heart and was studied by Zap Watt before disappearing under mysterious circumstances (Zap Watt was glad to be rid of it after he learned that it gave off no electrical charges). The artifact was taken in the night by the Equestrian secret service that brought it to Canterlot’s main laboratory. After being put through a battery of tests it was determined that the cylinder was completely useless and quickly became a decoration in the main hall. Celestia was disappointed that the object didn’t do anything but was satisfied that her plan of retrieving it had worked. She knew from the beginning that Steel Heart would compulsively hunt it down and that Lord Corn Wall would somehow take it and then leave it poorly guarded. She found that the reports of Fire Star’s berserker rampage at having his hat taken and Steel Heart’s blank response were some of the most hilarious yet and she didn’t even have to goad anypony to do anything. She also realized that she could use the nobles for things like this in the future. After all hearing about there incompetence was a million times more entertaining then just sending Royal guard to get something done. And the nobles were shaken up even more than usual. This could lead to some interesting events in the future.
> The Unknown Revolution
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Equestrian noble rebellion was an event that never technically took place. Official historians and record keepers state that the nobility have never once rebelled against their kingdom (after all why would they, the kingdom is what gives them their high place in society after all). The truth is however that the noble houses tried to overthrow the royal sisters once but failed so miserably that there are no clear signs of a revolution what so ever. Now only those directly involved know the embarrassing truth, a tale that they would take to their graves. 

It was nearing the end of summer and monsoon season was well under way. The dreary skies and daily rain showers were an omen to residents of Equestria that harvest was approaching and after that would come winter. Young colts and fillies lamented the fact that school would resume in a matter of days, as the weather seemed to wash their vacations away. The noble houses would cease their eternal struggle for a time and wait for environmental conditions to improve (nobility didn’t like having to go out in the rain). Celestia lamented this time due to the fact that the noble houses conflict served as a great distraction from the boredom of royal affairs. This year however she came up with a solution. She wrote an anonymous manifesto calling for the nobility to unite, overthrow the crown, and form a new Equestrian Oligarchy with each house sharing power. This was the perfect scheme it would force the nobles to suffer in the rain, devise horrible ideas, and all around humiliate them. Her plan was a tremendous success. 

Nobles have been known to make temporary alliances with each other on rare occasions in order to accomplish a common goal before promptly betraying each other. This however was the first and only time in history that all the houses joined forces together (each noble of course planned to betray the rest and take 
Equestria for them after Celestia was defeated of course). And at the head of this alliance stood the two most powerful nobles: Lady Steel Heart and Lord Corn Wall. These two ponies put aside their mortal hatred and united to lead the P.N.F.F.F.C (Pony Nobles For Freedom From the Crown) to what they thought would be a simple and epic victory. As the leaders, these two would raise the ponypower needed to achieve this victory (especially important to nobles since they hate getting their hooves dirty). The two had used opposite techniques of gathering ponies and this meant that the “rebels” possessed differing mindsets (one of many recipes for disaster). Corn Wall distributed ads to all the farmers loyal to him and told them that fame and fortune awaited them if they joined up meaning that half of the “rebels” were ignorant farmers thinking that this was a great opportunity to make large sums of Bits in addition to taking part in a grand adventure. Steel Heart on the other hoof immediately conscripted many of her industrial workers causing the other half of the “rebels” to be overly grim factory workers who desired nothing more than to finish this “war” quickly so that they could return home. Both halves were wrong however as they would soon discover.

Nearly a day after the manifesto was sent the nobles had assembled in downtown Canterlot to take part in the affair. The nobles were gathered under a tent put up to serve as a makeshift HQ where they could discuss strategies without the rain soaking them (the Volunteers and Conscripts would be forced to stay out in the rain where they would try to make the best of the situation by singing songs or gambling before what they thought would be a massive battle). “We should arm ourselves and strike at the palace first and end this in one great strike!” barked a Battle hungry Steel Heart. The lesser nobles all looked at each other nervously when she said the word “strike”. 
Corn Wall loudly replied, “ that is the dumbest plan I’ve ever heard!” The other nobles seemed relieved to hear Corn Wall respond negatively. 
“Oh and you have a better plan farmhand?” Steel Heart angrily responded.
“Yes I do, we should go and spread propaganda, and then the entire city will be on our side!” 
“Well, who agrees with my glorious plan?” nopony raised their hooves. 
“Who agrees with my wise plan?” everypony raised their hooves. Corn Wall smiled and said “Well then our course is simple, we should go to public places and incite rebellion while our followers post propaganda posters, burn government buildings, and spread the word!” the nobles cheered at this and went off immediately. Corn Wall went to the nearest club, hoping to take advantage of the busy hour and gain ponies on their side. He went through the back and steeped on stage facing the crowd.

He spoke to the audience “Citizens of Equestria your time is now, rise up and break the chains of oppression!” he was met not with the screams of rebellion that he expected but instead with laughter. Had he read the sign on the front of the building he would have seen that this was a comedy club and that tonight was amateur’s night, the crowd thought he was a comedian. “Why do you folk laugh, the city quite literally burns with the fire of revolution as the homes of the corrupt fall!” the crowd laughed even harder. “We are here to end your suffering today and all we ask is that you join us!” the audience had erupted with laughter and the noble could no longer make his voice heard, so he raised his hoof to the air and ran off stage to the back. 

The rest of the P.N.F.F.F.C fared no better as the rest of the nobles were either laughed at or booed off stage at their respective venues. The “rebels” fared no better due to the fact that the rain prevented them from successfully starting any fires with their limited tools. Unfortunately there was a stage play that was starting up at the time about a large rebellion in a kingdom and everypony simply thought that the propaganda posters and the ponies attempting to rouse the masses were part of some sort of viral marketing (which may explain why this play sold so many tickets). Shunned and seemingly defeated the nobles fled back to their tent where they argued until the alliance had fallen completely apart. All of the nobility went back to their mansions in defeat, once again loyal to Celestia and Luna, and blaming the others for this failure and plotting new terrible schemes of revenge for once the monsoon ended. The “rebels headed back home soaking wet and extremely tired, but overjoyed that there hadn’t been a war. Celestia’s spies among the “rebels” returned to her with the reports on what had happened. She enjoyed just how far the nobles had gone on the word of a nameless document and just how much they were humiliated by their failure. She had finally managed to toy with all the noble houses at once and had preformed what may very well be one of her greatest tricks yet. She ordered that the reports never enter the official archives and stay in her personal possession because the world didn’t need to hear of a failed revolution that lasted less than a day. And seeing the reports also reminded the princess that the nobles were now more conflicted than ever and the great struggle would only increase in intensity and impulsiveness. Just as planned.
> The Drill
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Autumn had come to Equestria and with it, the working spirit of its denizens. Summer was over and the monsoon had gone with it leaving only the occasional shower in its wake. The young returned to their studies as farmers prepared for harvest, everypony was gearing up for Noble houses to the end of the monsoon season. The end of the rain meant that the unofficial armistice between the nobles was ended and that all the plots and schemes created during the long wait would be unleashed in a violent wave of rivalry and desperate ruthlessness. Whoever was beaten here would be at an advantage until the next monsoon season came and that was seen as the most important thing in the long run. This meant that there were only two strategies, aim for a rival and hope to cripple them or wait for somepony else to come for you so that you may foil their plot and counter attack. Corn Wall preferred the latter while his mortal nemesis Steel Heart preferred the former. 

Celestia knew that this opening week of hostilities between the nobles would be the most brutal and thus, the most entertaining. Above all others though, it would be amazing to watch Steel Heart attempt to cripple Corn Wall due to the fact that it was like the meeting of an unstoppable force and an immovable object, Neither one would give up until the other lie utterly ruined. That would never happen due to the cruelly keen instinct that one develops by being one of the top nobles. Regardless, the two continued to develop more and more elaborate plans with the goal of total victory and both became better at countering as well. Steel Heart’s plan was simplistic yet epic in scale and amazing in practice. She had spent her time after the failed rebellion wisely and had her engineers develop one of the most horrific tools of industry ever seen. It was a terrifying bore device with many blades and drills created simply to go through the abandoned mines beneath Corn Wall’s manor and weaken the foundations so that the whole structure to collapse, meaning that one way or another Corn Wall would be removed from the great contest this year. This plan was doomed from the start.

Corn Wall had changed the competition forever by finally introducing a new factor, the air. Camera technology had improved greatly and it was the scion of the great Corn Lord who first saw that quick photography combined with a Pegasus’ ability to fly meant that nowhere was safe from his prying eyes and anything could be seen. This would eventually be countered but for now Corn Wall had a massive advantage. One of these flights provided pictures of the drill as it was being moved to the caves and let Corn Wall know what he was dealing with. His course of action was clear, destroy the drill at any cost.

“What’s the plan my lord?” said a very eager Fire Star.
“Simple we go through the mine and place this electro disrupter that Zap Watt made on the drill!” Lord Corn Wall responded, placing a pack on his back.
The bodyguard smiled at the simplicity of the plan and acknowledged, “Yes my lord.”

The way to the mines was rough and difficult, requiring one to pass through large numbers of rocks and steep hills to reach the old entrance. The two nearly slipped several times and were both relieved when they found the cobwebbed gates of the cave sprawled out before them. The evidence was clear that some one had been there ahead of them and couldn’t be more than an hour ahead. The chase had begun and the balance of power stood in the balance. Whoever one this would be at an incredible advantage. 

The caves were huge and beautiful, filled with amazing gem stones but ruled by an empire of ambient noise. It quickly became clear that finding the drill through sound was pointless and that sight was the only resource that could be relied upon. All was calm until the party had lost the tracks of the device and paused, to ponder their next move. All seemed lost until a ragged looking mare that had apparently come in between either group approached them. 

The stranger approached with a slight grin asking, “who are you?”
“I am Lord Corn Wall, noble of Canterlot, seeking a great drill that would have been brought here by outsiders nearly an hour ago, have you seen it?” responded the noble. 
“I have seen this device and I will be more than happy to bring you to it!” the stranger chimed.
“Then let’s go!” And with those words the two followed the cave dweller down an alien labyrinth.
“Don’t you think this may be some sort of trap set up by Steel Heart my lord?” Fire Star asked nervously. 
“No” replied Corn Wall “Why would she waste the resources on that?”
Fire Star starred blankly at the noble before responding, “Because it would work.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because we’re following a stranger right now aren’t we?”
“Yeah, but this stranger must just live here.”
“She lives in an abandoned mine?”
“Lots of people live in a mine!”

Suddenly the guide stopped and turned to the pair with an unnervingly large smile. 
“Here’s your stop,” She said.
“What are you talking about, I don’t see a drill!” Barked Corn Wall.
“I never saw a drill.”
“But you said that you did!”
“I lied.” With that word the Pony reveled it’d true form, as a changeling. This changeling was cutoff from the swarm after the royal wedding and fled into the mines to lick it’s wounds and wait for more ponies to take advantage of. The changeling leapt at the noble, seeking to drain him off his positive feelings only to be knocked back in an instant, for nobles have no love or compassion, simply hate and contempt. This pure cocktail of negativity would leave the changeling in a comatose state for weeks, before it found the strength to get up and leave the mines. 

The changeling did do one thing however, set the pair on the right path again. When they looked down they saw the tracks of the drill and quickly pursued to the source. Unfortunately Steel Heart did remember to bring henchmen with her and the moment the two were near the drill, they were captured by burly stallions who brought them before Steel Heart.

“I was wondering when you’d show up.” Steel Heart deadpanned.
“You’ll never get away with this you fiend!” Shouted Corn Wall
“I already have!” Steel Heart screamed while pressing a button connected to the drill. 

When the drill began boring into the earth, everypony in Canterlot could hear its effects. The device emitted a loud metallic grind that seemed as if it came not from the ground but from the sky. This phenomenon was documented and to this day, the vast population has been unable to determine it’s true cause. Corn Wall could feel his life’s work being ruined and knew there was only one chance to prevail. He would drop the electro disrupter on the ground and kick it with one of his free legs. If this device worked like everything else Zap Watt built he would only need to get it near the drill for it to start sending electric bolts flying in all directions and crush the great machine. He did exactly that but found that instead of simply shutting down the drill the disrupter did something else entirely, cause the drill to explode. 

What followed next was pure chaos as everypony ran for the exit to avoid falling boulders. Enemy helped enemy as all simply wanted out of the cave, seeing it as a place of death. In reality only a few good sized rocks and Gems had fallen from the ceiling but the loud noise combined with the lack of knowledge on what a cave in actually looked like fooled the lot of them into running home as quickly as possible. Regardless the day was over and Corn Wall was still standing. 

Both nobles rested, preparing for the inevitable counter attack that was soon to follow. Celestia retired to her chambers and reviewed all that had passed. This new season had begun magnificently with a number of exploits headed by the explosion in the mines; all of these brought her great joy. What had taken place must be remembered for not only would it lead to the next set of counter schemes but it was all in all, a great day. And it was days like this that made all the boredom of royal life more than worth it.
> The Heart of Steel
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was the darkest hour in Steel Heart’s life. Her desperate plan to crush Lord Corn Wall once and for all had been decimated and she was at a severe disadvantage. Though the old stallion was slow to take the initiative he was very difficult to stop once his plans were moving in full force. The main reason she was worried however was because this was the latest in a growing line of her schemes that produced absolutely no benefit. It seemed clear to her that she was losing control of the situation and if she didn’t find a solution soon she was done for. In this stupor she sought out the place where her families legacy began, the Triumph Caverns. 

It had been long ago that Steel Heart’s great grandfather, Iron Lung, had mined here to gather the first metals needed to produce cheap Steel. This action led to the start of an industrial empire that is still growing to this day. Steel Heart traveled here alone, wanting to reflect on all that had passed and what she could do to regain control. 

Like most caves it was wet, cold, and dark with only a few lanterns lighting the way. Steel Heart came to a small, well light enclosure and starred out at the sky, visible through a sizable crack in the cave wall. From Everypony else’s point of view it seemed is if she was an aggressor constantly sending machine after machine to bring ruination upon Lord Corn Wall and his holdings. From her perspective however, she was a crusader seeking to modernize Equestria and transform it into an industrial power like none other. In order to do this however, she must first eliminate the stubborn Lord Corn Wall and all others who stood in the way of progress. If they won she feared that the other nations of the world may one day become more advanced and glorious Equestria would be left behind. She couldn’t allow this to happen.

As the noble’s thoughts drifted towards the present, one question stood out from the rest. Could she ever live a normal life? If she lost everything and had to join the common folk, would she be able to adjust? She had been raised from birth to lead this great noble house and assure its dominance over all the others. Her thoughts drifted even more and the question broadened. Could she live a quiet life? If she were made to retire or lost so much money that she could no longer compete with the other nobles, could she stand it? Could she ever learn to love the slower pace? She honestly didn’t know the answers to these questions and just thinking about them was enough to bring tears to her eyes. What if she couldn’t find a solution and was actually defeated in the eternal contest? Could She cope?

Suddenly a torrent of noise came in from the cave entrance, violently breaking her inner reflection. Steel Heart rose with lightning speed and looked to the cave mouth. She saw a group of ponies with various pieces of mining equiptment entering the cave slowly and noisily, the clatter of hooves against stone overpowering their words. This cave was mined out long ago, why would a dig through be working here today? Steel Heart decided to follow them in the hopes of figuring out what they were doing here. 

After a while she could actually understand what the foreman was saying. 
“Lord Corn Wall wants this artifact out of this mine ASAP, the sooner we get it out of here the sooner we get paid!” he barked.
A mare in the group looked to him and asked, “What does some stuck up nobleman want something like this for anyway?”
The foreman responded, “rumor has it that this globe thing has enough power with in it to either destroy or power a whole city.” Then the crew reached the site and got to work. When Steel Heart saw the massive orb she had to try hard to keep herself from gasping in awe. This huge globe was made from a tan rock and had jade colored runes all across it’s surface. This seemed as if it could be a perfect weapon to finally bring about an end to the eternal contest of the nobles, and end that resulted in total victory for her. 

She knew that she wouldn’t be able to get her private guard here in time considering the sphere was almost completely excavated. She would have to scare the miners away and recruit locals to finish the work. But what could she do to get them to leave that wouldn’t result in her own untimely death? She realized that she would have to be very sneaky and begin a campaign of psychological warfare to ensure their speedy retreat. She would start out small and slowly work her way up until the stress was to great on the work crew and they would flee the place. 

She first began throwing rocks across, the room causing the miners to jump and become uneasy. This wasn’t working very well though, because the foremen calmed his workers down and ensured they worked at one hundred percent efficiency. She tried tumbling rocks to trick them into thinking there was an iminate cave in, but the foremen calmed the group down again. Every time she tried something, the foreman was always able to counter it. Now it was clear that is the plan was to succeed she would have to break the foremen. 

What could the foremen be afraid of? Obviously he was trained to tell a real cave in apart from a fake one and was almost impossible to unnerve. She tried sneaking over to his coat on the ground and lit it ablaze before dashing back into hiding. When the foremen saw this he simply stomped the flame out. When a spider was sent his way he crushed it. When bats came swarming towards him, he swatted them away. Nothing Steel Heart tried worked. The artifact was all but free and the noble saw that if she didn’t succeed right now, Corn Wall was destined to annihilate her legacy. In a panic she used her unicorn magic to summon a massive wave of multi colored bubbles towards the mining crew. In retrospect, Steel Heart had no idea why she did this but was very proud of the result. These bubbles seemed to be more effective at horror than all the psychological tactics in existence at scarring away this stoic work group. They ran out of the cave so fast that one could have sworn that the apocalypse itself had taken manifest form and was hot on their trail. 

When the miners returned to Lord Corn Wall, they lied and said that there had been a huge rockslide that had destroyed the artifact and would have reduced them to a bloody pulp had they not run when they did. Lady Steel Heart however, hired a massive crew of Pegasi to fly the orb to a safe location so that it could be taken to her secret research lab. Her hired scientists and engineers would work tirelessly to unlock the secrets of this long forgotten device so that their industrial noble could finally achieve the victory that she sought her entire life. Although things seemed brighter than ever for Steel Heart, one question still plagued her relentlessly. Could she ever adapt to a quiet life on the sidelines? She smiled to herself, finally knowing the answer. Thanks to her actions today, she would never have to.
> The Night of Nightmare
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The view from the balcony was amazing. From here Lord Cord Cornwall could see Canterlot towering over the misty forest that surrounded his alpine lodge. The noble had no desire to be in the city today due to the fact that tonight would be Nightmare Night. The streets would be flooded with common folk, all of whom would be celebrating ancient holiday in the loudest and most exuberant manner possible. While most onlookers (including the royal sisters themselves) would see the sheer joy of Equestria’s citizens as heart warming, the nobility saw it as sickening. They believed that commoners existed purely to work under them and should work without end. Lord Corn Wall would always flee to this retreat in the forest to escape such celebrations. 

Corn Wall took one last look at the city, shivered with disgust at the thought of the impending folk holiday, and then finished the rest of his brandy in one large gulp. The forest was beautiful this time of year and he often liked to travel up the riverside trail beside his personal lodge. Nopony lived in these woods, so he often traveled alone. Fall was definitely in the air and the temperature would soon start dropping. It was at times like this, when he was alone and felt at peace that he would think of about his family line. Did the great Corn Lord live somewhere like this? Did he face the same never-ending power struggle as his descendants? What was it like living during his time? All these things and more, Corn Wall would never be able to know.

The noble suddenly stopped and looked up at the sky. It was well into the day and he should hoof it back down the trail if he wanted to make it before nightfall. He began the trip back but suddenly felt himself lose all control over his limbs. He heard a ringing in his ears and his vision went black as he was being lifted up into the air. Then he lost all consciousness and disappeared. 

When next he awoke he saw a bizarre world before his eyes. This place looked like the forest, but it was very dark, foggy, and had an unnerving purple hue to it. In the darkness he saw a huge pair of gleaming red eyes starring directly at him. The noble was completely terrified of the otherworldly being… until it spoke. 
“Hey there.” Said the casual, kind, and completely nonthreatening sounding voice from the giant shadowy mass.
“Um, good day.” Responded an extremely nervous Corn Wall. 
“How are you?” The voice asked.
“Very confused actually, where the hay am I?”
“Oh your just in my personal pocket dimension.”
“Why am I in your pocket sir?”
“You’re in another smaller dimension modeled after the forest I found you in.”
“Why did you take me here?”
“Being one of the most powerful beings in all of reality gets boring after awhile and I need something to keep me entertained.”
“If you would be so kind as to release me from this place, I would happily bring you as many other ponies to for you to toy with as you please.”
“If you want out you’ll have to find your way out.”
“How in Celestia’s bleeding name do I find my way out then?”
“If you find your way back to your lodge, you will instantly be transported back to your realm. Be wary however, there are all sorts of monsters spawned directly from the nightmares of mortals in this place and they’ll desire nothing more than to devour you whole once you set off.”

With those words Lord Corn Wall took several titanic swigs from his flask and set off into the fog. The forest was extremely dark so he couldn’t see very far ahead of him but he could hear every terrifying noise for miles. Blood chilling screams, unreal howls, and shouts in alien languages filled the air and even overpowered the sound of the noble’s heartbeat. Corn Wall always thought he could see movement out of the corner of his eye but when he looked, he saw nothing. He couldn’t worry about such things his only goal right now was to make it to the lodge. Then he saw it.

It looked like a huge, fleshy dog covered in tentacles that all had blades on the ends. Corn Wall tried to sneak past it but within seconds of him sighting the beast, the flesh hound was already starring directly at him. The noble ran without a second thought, trying merely to escape. The abomination was chasing him with unnatural speed. Suddenly, Lord Corn Wall found himself in water. He had found the river that ran beside the trail. On the bank of the river laying but a few feet in front of him, was a light grey mare with a flowing black mane. She was looking into the water, sobbing deeply. When she saw Corn Wall she seemingly became enraged and ran toward him. Once she reached him she forced his head under the water trying to drown him. But then he saw his unlikely salvation from above the water. 

The terrifying flesh dog that had been chasing relentlessly earlier was afraid of water and thus couldn’t chase him in the river. Once it saw the mare drowning it’s former target, it saw a new source of prey. The beast leapt at the mare knocking her back and releasing the noble. Corn Wall watched these monsters fight a horrific battle as he recovered from near death. It seemed that even nightmares had nightmares and would violently try to destroy these monsters. Most of these things were all but unstoppable so they would be fighting each other forever. Now that he had found the trail, getting back home would be easy. 

Only one nightmare could appear at a time and so all Lord Corn Wall had to do was run from one until another appeared and they were both tied down. It was almost sad how little skill the whole journey took. The noble even managed to get used to the sounds of these horrors after a while, actually starting to laugh at how over the top they were. Some of these “nightmare creatures” even took laughable forms. More tyrannical and militaristic versions of Celestia, Luna, and Cadance all appeared and shouted phrases so over the top they were hilarious. Tax collectors, teachers, and managers showed up, blathering on about lateness and lack if effort. The monsters were spawned from the nightmares of mortals, weather they were primordial horrors, or simple stresses. 

After awhile, Lord Corn Wall finally reached the front of his lodge and suddenly the world returned to normal. Time Stopped as he could see the giant red eyes peeing at him from the shadows once more. The unintimidating voice spoke once again. 
“Well this has to be my greatest failure in all my eons of existence, all these things ripped from the nightmares of mortals turned against each other, leaving you completely alone. Though now that I think about it, seeing all those insane things fighting each other was extremely entertaining… thank you pony, for showing me this new source of enjoyment. Now leave me alone for the next few centuries, I’ve got a lot of monster battles to watch.”

Time resumed normally and the noble could see that the sun had just set. Lord Corn Wall went back to the balcony and looked out at Canterlot once again. There was light everywhere and fire works filled the sky. Tomorrow he would return there and continue his schemes to be the most powerful noble in existence. He hoped that as the leaves fell, so to would all his competitors. If he was going to win he would have to do that which none of his predecessors could, go on the offensive.
> The Fall
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fall, it was a season that always brought with it great change. Trees shed their leaves, days grow short as nights grow long, and warmth bleeds away only to be replaced by cold. However, this year more would change in Equestria than the weather. This year it would be proven that nothing was eternal. 

Lady Gold Iris, a Pegasus noble whose family had come to power through banking, had consistently been sending shipments of unknown materials via train into the mountains of northern Equestria each day for three weeks now and Lord Corn Wall was rightfully suspicious. Gold Iris had clearly put a fortune into whatever this project was and ruining it beyond recovery would force her into an early retirement. Of course, there was no way of knowing what exactly this was and the only was to figure out was to go there. Corn Wall, Fire Star, and Zap Watt would sneak aboard one of these trains and stop the banker noble once and for all. 

Normal ponies would have tried to board the train by disguising themselves as workers or henchman in order to safely get onboard with minimal effort. Corn Wall, Fire Star, and Zap Watt were not normal ponies. They instead rode in a balloon being flown at high speed by two disgruntled peguasi and then jumped down onto the top of the train with parachutes. As awesome as this sounds it is extremely dangerous and it’s amazing that the trio didn’t fall off the top of the train cars into the valley that the train was near, being served a gruesome end by razor sharp rocks. Nobility just seem to have that inexplicable luck. As it were the three invaders were completely unharmed and simply found a way inside the train car. 

“Vhat do you zhink is inside all of zhese boxes my lord?” Asked a curious Zap Watt. 
“Let’s find out shall we,” responded Corn Wall. Fire Star lifted up one of the lids to reveal that inside the unmarked containers, rested tons of steel parts of various shapes and sizes ready for assembly. Everypony then looked to the center of the car where a box marked with the words “Extremely fragile, break and die!” in bright read ink stood. Corn Wall slowly opened it and saw that in contained several large gemstones that had a soft scarlet glow. 
“What in the hay could these be for?” Fire Star wondered aloud.

Before anypony could even guess however, the train came to an abrupt stop. Out side of the window, the group saw that they were no longer in the Equestrian countryside, but were now within the very heart of a great northern mountain. There were so many torches lit throughout the complex that nopony even noticed that they had entered the mountain and the train car had enough insulation that they wouldn’t be able to feel the cold northern air until they exited. Outside, a great commotion of engineers and scientists all dressed in heavy, white lab coats with scarves and goggles covering most of their faces. The guards stood guard with thick darkly colored trench coats, large steel helmets, and bib scarves rendering them mostly identical. A horde of these goggle welding ponies had entered the train and, in a rather lucky coincidence, three entered the car who were all the same sizes as Corn Wall, Zap Watt, and Fire Star.

Without a thought, Fire Star knocked out the poor engineers and ripped off their clothing. And, again, luckily for the group nopony heard or saw it. Lord Corn Wall abandoned his top hat (not a loss considering he owned an obscene number of replacements) and Fire Stars peaked cap had a removed wire stiffener (this means that it could be curled up into a ball and still form back into shape when needed but also caused it to have a crushed appearance) so nopony objected to putting on these out fits. It seemed that luck was going out of its way to help Corn Wall on his quest. 

The trio exited the car with their new disguises on, carrying out the boxes, and followed the stream of ponies until they saw what this whole operation had been about. In front of them stood a huge metal shaft that was surrounded by walk ways and seemed to stretch down for miles and was aimed up at the sky.  In the center of this shaft, floated a huge red crystal surrounded on all sides by smaller ones the size of the ones in the center crate. And starring directly at the shaft was Gold Iris herself, clothed in the same dark trench coat as the guards but without the helmet or bib scarf. This contrasted sharply with her bold yellow coat and bright red mane. 

Zap Watt looked at the others and declared, “I vill go and see vhat vill destroy zhis machine, you try to be careful around here.”
“Will do!” shouted Fire Star.
Gold Iris heard this however and shouted, “What are you two doing over there?”
“Nothing, we were just about to get back to work milady,” Corn Wall answered. 
Gold Iris paused and then ordered, “Guards, Seize them!” In the blink of any eye guards seemed to appear from nowhere, grab the two, and drag them towards Lady Gold Iris. She took off their goggles and scarves and then let out an evil cackle.
“Corn Wall you old fool, you do realize that no engineer, strike that, no pony in the entire world speaks with your archaic inflections,” she taunted. “You never should have come here, this device is far above your antiquitated mind. See a Unicorn simply has to channel magic into that main crystal and energy shoots up to the moon where it will be reflected down to the target of my choosing.”
“How in the hay does that even work?” asked a genuinely perplexed Fire Star.
“Magic!” all the engineers in earshot responded in unison before returning to work.
Gold Iris chuckled, “yes, magic, magic that I will soon use to destroy your manor and everything you own before I refocus to decimate the other nobles!”

Zap Watt had been staring at the center crystal for a solid five minutes now and could see no obvious weakness or vulnerabilities to exploit. All he knew was that it was powered by magic and the smaller crystals at least were fragile. When presented with an unknown like this huge crystal, Zap fell back on his base strategy, shoot it with an electrical current and see what happens. It was specifically due to occasions such as this that the scientist had created the Pocket Zeus 120. It was small enough to fit in your pocket (as the name makes painfully obvious) but can still fire a bolt of electricity that is far beyond lethal levels. He fired the bolt at the crystal with disturbing glee as, much to everypony else’s horror, the crystal shook and rumbled, clearly going critical. 

All differences, duties and hatreds were thrown aside as everypony rushed for the nearest exit. Lord Corn Wall and Fire Star ran towards Zap Watt who had found a hidden exit towards the top of the mountain. The three of them jumped towards the Pegasus driven balloon that had followed the train all the way to the mountains and flew away in time to safely see the resulting explosion before speeding away back to Canterlot. 

When the noble awoke the next morning, he spent hours looking out at the year’s first snowfall, reflecting on what had just happened. For the first time in history, a noble had actually managed to defeat another noble in their eternal competition. For the first time in his entire life, Corn Wall had managed to achieve his goal of crushing an enemy noble and becoming a step closer to achieving the same dominance as his ancestor, the great Corn Lord. The noble felt a sense of triumph and pride that he had never felt before. This feeling was shattered when he read the mornings newspaper. According to the paper, Lady Steel Heart had also managed to drive another noble into retirement. Two nobles had been eliminated and Corn Wall knew at that very instant that all the others would fall like dominos shortly. After that, there would only be Steel Heart and himself left. One would have to emerge victorious over the other by utterly crushing them eventually. He would have to use all his cunning to ensure that he was the winner. It’s going to be a long, cold, harsh winter.
> The End of an Age
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Great change had struck the noble houses of Equestria. One by one, the lesser nobles had been forced to retire by Lord Corn Wall and Lady Steel Heart in a frantic competition to absorb as many assets as they could. The final strike was all but guaranteed to come before the end of the year, a strike that would change Equestria forever. Great change would come on Hearth’s warming Day, though not the change that anypony expected. 

It was Hearth’s Warming Eve and the day was young. Lord Corn Wall was just on his way back from the monocle store when it happened. He stood in front of the Iron Gate that stood before his manor; taking a good look it’s breath-taking design. He had never realized how beautiful it was or how much effort it would have taken to make. He starred for almost thirty seconds straight before a Jade beam hit the manor and destroyed it in a rather large explosion. Corn Wall now stood in shock trying to figure out what in the hay just happened. After thirty more seconds he opened the gate and climbed through the ruins of the home he had known all his life. In the wreckage he saw one of his most prized possessions covered in ash and instantly picked it up. It was a golden pocket watch that the noble had received from his father as a colt. He opened it and remembered what his father said, “If you any kind of monster ever tries to get you just use this watch and think of me, before you know it that monster will disappear.” Obviously it was just something to help the young noble if he ever got scarred but Corn Wall kept it any way, as it was one of the few tangible items that he still had from his father. He shed a single tear and then quickly wiped it away, put the watch in his coat pocket, and continued walking. He the reached the elevator the secret lab and rode it down. 

“My Lord, I’m relieved to see that you’re unharmed, what was that noise?” asked Fire Star. 
Corn Wall paused for a moment before answering, “We were attacked, the mansion has been destroyed.”
“Well it’s good thing we evacuated all the staff then, other wise many ponies could have been killed!”
Zap Watt came looked up from his clipboard, “Vhat exactly happened?”
“A green beam of energy came in form the south and wrecked the manor,” responded a still shocked Corn Wall. 
Fire Star added, “We all know who did it, only Steel Heart is this ruthless.”
“Then we go to the southern mountains and bring her down!” proclaimed Corn Wall. 
“How are we supposed to do that?” asked Fire Star. 
The noble looked to Zap Watt and asked, “Do you have any experiments stocked?” Zap Watt nodded and motioned for the two to follow. 

Zap Watt led the pair to the end of the room where they beheld a huge set of doors. Corn Wall opened the doors and out came an avalanche of thousands of failed experiments.
“Sweet Celestia Zap, I thought I told you to get rid of all these things,” said Fire Star.
The scientist responded defensively, “I vas going to do it tomorrow I Svear!”
“Get everypony you can to take these things up stairs and tell our pegasi to get over here, this ends today!” Corn Wall commanded.
“My lord, Zhere is Vone Zhing you’ll want to see before we move out.” said Zap Watt. 
The noble looked back at Zap, “What is it?”
The head scientist held up a beaker full of water, “Zhis Vater is from a magical pool outside of Ponyville, if any of us places a single hoof in it, a clone will manage to come through.” 
“How exact is the replica?”
“Ve don’t know if it’s just because Ve only have a small amount or zhe vater is avay from zhe pool, but zhe clone can’t zhink or make decisions for it’s self, it will somehow be able to understand us and follow all our orders to the letter. Zhey also don’t understand how to use tools and weapons but can fight.”
Fire Star looked up and interjected, “We can’t do this, it could kill hundreds!”
“Zhe clones don’t actually die, zhey simply get teleported back into zhe vater.”
“What about the Ponies on Steel Heart’s side, you know she’s going to send out everypony who can hold a stick to fight?”
“Zhe clones aren’t that strong, all zhey can do is knock somepony out.”
Lord Corn Wall grabbed the beaker; “Very well then, I’ll clone my self as many times as possible and tell them to head south to the mountain.” And with those words, the noble stuck his hook in the beaker and created a clone of him. Being lazy, he simply ordered the clone to stick his hoof in continuously and order all the new clones to head the mountain. 

Above, the pegasi had come bearing sky chariots and satchels ready to do as their master commands. The trio got onto a chariot and watched as the winged ponies snatched up all the experiments with terrible speed. Once they were all picked up, Corn Wall pointed forward, causing the flock of pegasi to all speed away towards the mountain as a tide of Corn Walls marched below them. 

The site of the mountain fortress was truly amazing. Steel Heart had driven a large shaft down the center of the peak and placed a series of mirrors all along it in order to channel the light form the orb in any direction. Once the fleet of ponies reached the top of the mountain, they all reached into their satchel bags and threw all of the failed inventions at the mirror system. Most of the inventions were so unstable that they exploded before reaching their target (it is currently unknown how a half filled cup of coffee managed to explode). This was all for not however, as the mirrors were shielded by powerful magic. The explosions did manage to blow a sizable hole in the size of the mountain that could be entered safely. Lord Corn Wall signaled the pegasi pushing his chariot to fly to this new entrance so that he and his allies could parachute in through the gap. Once they recovered from the landing, they took a moment to survey their surroundings. 

The interior was, for the most part, extremely well crafted. The slabs of stone that made up the walls, floor, and ceiling looked to be chiseled from the very rock of the mountain itself and were clearly made by artisan stonemasons. This beauty was tarnished by the addition of cheap looking mass produced steel columns that served to reinforce weaker areas and support the orb on the center. Nopony seemed to be inside as all were called upon to beat back all of the Corn Walls that now rushed towards the place like water freed from a dam. This was quickly discovered to be false when a chair that had been facing out towards a huge window overlooking the frenzy bellow swung forwards to reveal Lady Steel Heart herself. Body guards then seemed to come out of nowhere and quickly drag Fire Star and Zap Watt out of the room, leaving the two nobles all alone. 

“I thought you died in your manor old man,” said Steel Heart.
“What are you doing with my friends?” asked Corn Wall furiously. 
Steel Heart smiled devilishly and replied, “Do you really think I’d let anything stand in the way of my plan? This project has cost me so much that if I lose here, I’ll have to retire just like everypony else. Your not clever enough to stop me, meaning that I am free to use this monster of a weapon to devastate all of your holdings, leaving me as the sole noble in Equestria!”

It was at that moment that his father’s words all those years back finally seemed to make sense. He was now facing a monster and was scarred out of his wits. In his head, one short phrase kept repeating itself, “…just use this watch and think of me…” a phrase that would save him. He reached into his coat pocket, took out the watch and, in a final act of desperation, threw it at the orb. As it turned out, the old heirloom was exactly what he needed at that moment. It was small enough to pass through the fore field and hit the orb. The energies of the orb were entirely incompatible with the pure gold of the watch and when the two met the results were disastrous. Green sparks flew everywhere as the chamber slowly flooded with light. Everypony assumed the worst; the orb was going to explode. 

Both nobles dashed out of the room into where the bodyguards were holding Zap Watt and Fire Star, shouting at them to flee the place while they still could. Steel Heart took a balloon that had been tied to an observation post near the top of the mountain and drifted to safety in it. The remaining three ponies still in the fortress were spotted by circling pegasi and flown out of range. There was no explosion however and the orb simply disappeared in a single blinding flash of jade colored light. This made no difference as the orb was now gone forever and Steel Heart’s dreams of supremacy had gone with it. 

After having overseen the banishing of all the clones back to the pool form once they came, Corn Wall headed to his personal lodge outside of Canterlot. He had finally done it, he had achieved in several months what none of his ancestors had failed to achieve in their entire life spans. Victory was his, yet he didn’t feel satisfied. Now that the other nobles were no more, he had nothing left to do. He had already paid for the rebuilding of his mansion and that would be completed in mere weeks. His entire life had revolved around the great contest and without it he felt completely empty. What would he do now?

When he awoke that Hearth’s Warming Day, he knew the answer. He would retire and donate a sizable amount of his money to charity. His days would be spent helping the common folk (he had nothing else to do after all) and making Equestria a better place. The other nobles soon found that they actually preferred the quiet and peaceful life of retirement to the hectic and stressful lives that they had lived before. Soon even Steel Heart was writing in her memoirs about how much better things seemed now that she didn’t have any enemies plotting against her or pressure to break another noble. Servants quickly found new jobs and former bodyguards became valuable additions to the Royal Guard or (in Fire Stars case) were even able to retire themselves. Universities hired scientists and engineers and the government to perform research, paved the way for a new golden age of Scientific and technological discoveries. When news of what had taken place reached Princess Celestia, she was amazed. It seemed that even the most stuborn of ponies could change.

It was the end of one age and the beginning of another. One that would be defined by the actions of common ponies who would change the world. And Everypony who would rise to rule this age can indirectly thank the nobles for setting the foundations by witch they were able to succeed.