One year after becoming Princess Twilight's student, Starlight ascends to alicornhood. However, not everypony is happy about it, Starlight herself least of all.
Twilight Sparkle took Starlight Glimmer under her wing and offered to teach her the ways of friendship. Starlight was a truly precocious student, exceeding Twilight's expectations every step of the way. Now, a mere year after becoming her protege, Starlight has achieved that which took Twilight since fillyhood: She has ascended and become an alicorn princess.
However, when Starlight begins to question what this means for her dreams of an Equestria where everypony can look upon each other as equals, Twilight realizes that she may have made a grave mistake.
Starlight Glimmer felt strange. She was lightheaded and confused, as if she'd just woken up from a very odd dream. She remembered a place of pure white, and all of her deeds laid out before her. Until a year ago those deeds had been dark indeed, but Twilight Sparkle had been a fount of wisdom and patience for her. With her teacher's help, Starlight had truly turned herself around.
She had just finished her hardest, and strangest, task yet. Twilight had heard rumors of the Jade Orb, supposedly one of Meadowbrook's enchanted items. Starlight had remembered with a wince how she'd claimed that her "Staff of Sameness" was the ninth of those eight legendary artifacts, but had agreed to help her teacher reclaim it.
They'd found the Orb quickly—rather, it had found them. The Orb had been damaged, and its magic had gone haywire. What should have been a powerful protective spell had corrupted the pony holding it, turning her into a nearly indestructible monster that wanted to put all of Equestria under its "protection." Starlight had spoken with the pony, reasoned with her, had made her see that if she truly wanted to protect Equestria then she had to be a part of it, not seek to rule it. She and Twilight had then taken the Orb from the poor pony. Starlight had used her magic to repair the damage and get the artifact working properly again. Truly, that had been the easy part.
Once she was finished, however, the world had faded to white. She'd found herself in that strange place with Princess Twilight. She had wondered whether it was somehow the Orb's doing. Had she botched the repair? Now, with the reassuring solidity of good Equestrian soil under her hooves, Starlight turned to ask what had happened. She never got the question out.
"I don't believe it." Twilight sounded nothing short of awed. "You did it. Starlight, you did it!" she exclaimed. An ecstatic grin lit up her face, and was that the gleam of tears in her eyes? "Oh, I am so, so proud of you!" She was as excited as Starlight had ever seen her, nearly prancing on the spot like Pinkie Pie might.
"Did what?" Starlight took an uncertain step backward. Twilight was acting very strangely. Was this also a result the Orb's malfunctioning magic? "What are you talking about?"
"Starlight." Twilight was definitely getting choked up. "Look at yourself!"
"What?" Starlight asked again. She craned her head to look back at her body.
At first she didn't see what Twilight was talking about. Maybe she subconsciously blocked out the terrifying reality of it. Same color coat, same tail, same four legs, same cutie mark. She looked just like she always did.
Then her eyes widened.
"Wings?" Starlight said, disbelieving. Her mind reeled, trying to come to grips with what she saw. She had wings. She twitched unfamiliar muscles and they shifted along her sides. The feathers gently tickled her as they moved. "I have wings."
She was an alicorn like her teacher. Like the princesses.
"Yes," Twilight answered joyfully. "I knew you could do it, but I never thought it would happen so soon!" She stepped forward and leaned against Starlight in a loving hug. "Congratulations, Princess Starlight."
Starlight was stiff as stone.
"...No," she whispered.
"What?" Now it was Twilight's turn to step back in confusion.
"No!" Starlight shouted. She galloped several steps in a panic, as if she could outrun the new appendages and what they meant. She turned wild eyes toward Twilight. "What did you do?!" she demanded.
"What do you mean?" Twilight asked. "You earned this yourself."
"Change me back," Starlight demanded. She teleported right in front of a startled and confused Twilight. "You have to change me back!"
"I didn't do this!" Twilight repeated. Her eyes were wide and her heart was pounding from Starlight's unexpected reaction. "You've ascended, and I can't undo it. It can't be undone." She reached out a hoof. "Please tell me what's wrong."
"What's wrong?" Starlight echoed. "Look at me!" She flared her new wings angrily. "I devoted my whole life to equality, to the idea that nopony is better than anypony else, and now you've turned me into... this!" she spat.
"Just because you're an alicorn doesn't mean you're better than anyone else," Twilight said, desperate to calm her student down. "I've been an alicorn for years, and nopony thinks that about me."
Starlight Glimmer sneered. "Oh, Twilight," she said bitterly. "You're so wise for your age that I sometimes forget how naive you are."
"What?" Twilight asked. It had been months since Starlight had said anything like that to her. She was sounding alarmingly like her old self, like the pony she'd been before accepting Twilight's friendship.
"Ponies bow to you when you walk into a room," Starlight said to Twilight. "You have guards and servants sworn to obey you." She walked toward Twilight, who backpedaled nervously. "Ponies come to you for judgments. Your word is the law of Equestria!"
"It's not like that!" Twilight protested. "I'm just glad to help, and ponies know it."
"Plenty of ponies are 'glad to help.'" Starlight spat. "Not all of them have castles, and titles, and access to the most powerful magics in the world. I don't want this!" She gestured at herself, at the horrible new wings that she felt growing out of her sides like tumors. Then she sighed and turned away.
"It looks like you've ruined my life for a second time," she said.
"Starlight..." Twilight was tearing up again, for a very different reason than before. "I—I'm sorry. I thought you'd be happy."
A dozen retorts ran through Starlight's mind, but none of them did justice to how she felt: the anger, the fear. The betrayal. She glared wordlessly at Twilight as she tried to think of some way to convey it all. When she couldn't find the words, she let actions speak for her. Starlight charged her horn and teleported away.
Starlight thought she might be on the verge of a panic attack. Her breathing was short and rapid and her heart pounded in her chest. Her wings, the awful things that marked her as everything she stood against, opened and closed and fluttered against her will. She galloped westward with no specific destination in mind, just trying to put distance between herself and Twilight Sparkle, and the Orb that had started all of this.
She had to go somewhere. Not back to Ponyville or Canterlot, it had to be someplace far away, where nopony would see her and think that she was special. She didn't think she could stand the looks of awe when ponies realized who and what she was. They would bow to her. They would try to raise her up on a pedestal, to give her a castle and an honorific. They would want her to leave everything and everyone she loved and become the princess they thought she'd want to be. The princess they thought they wanted her to be.
The wings. It all came back to the wings. Before she quite realized what she was doing, Starlight had conjured a magical blade and pressed it against the joint where her left wing met her barrel. The blade trembled there for a moment before scattering into motes of light as her concentration broke. Starlight Glimmer was anything but a coward, but she knew that she could never go through with mutilating herself like that.
Her breath came in heaving gasps. All she wanted was someplace safe to go, to hide away from prying, adoring eyes. She could only think of one place: that tiny, nameless town she'd used to lead. It would be ironically appropriate, she thought. The place she'd used to rule, though she hadn't thought of it that way at the time, would be the place she went to hide from being a ruler.
It would be a long trip, however, and at the moment she had no idea where she even was. Her panicked flight had taken her far to the west, but not along any particular road. She'd just teleported as far away as she could and then started running.
She forced herself to breathe and think. She had a powerful mind, and she needed to use it. That town would be a good place to hide for now, a retreat until she could figure out what her new status meant and what she was going to do about it. That meant that she had to get there, and for that she needed a train. For a train, she needed a major town or city.
She and Twilight had been about half a day's trot out of just such a town when they'd been attacked by the Orb and its bearer. There was no way she'd gone back all that distance with one teleport and a few minutes of galloping. She needed to find a road and follow it west, and it would eventually take her back to civilization.
Starlight lit up her horn, intending to use her levitation spell to look around from the air. She hesitated. Twilight would undoubtedly be looking for her, and the glow of her magic might give her away. For better or worse, she did have wings now. She didn't need the flight spell anymore.
She firmly pinned her wings against her sides and cast the spell. She rose up into the air, looking all around for the dirt road that she and Twilight had been following. At last she found it, perhaps a mile to the north and parallel to where she'd been running. She nervously looked around for her teacher, but there was no sign of Twilight Sparkle. With a deep, calming breath, Starlight teleported to the road and set off west at a canter.
Twilight was lost. Not physically, like her poor student, but in her heart and mind. She had thought she was doing the right thing by teaching Starlight Glimmer what she knew.
Starlight had more skill and magical knowledge than any pony Twilight had ever known, herself included. Where some ponies might have felt threatened by that, Twilight had been excited by it. She'd been sure that Starlight had the potential to ascend like Twilight herself had, though in her wildest dreams she'd never thought it would only take Starlight a year to do it.
She'd been sure that Starlight would make a wonderful princess. Starlight had such a strong will, and her heart was in the right place—it always had been, even when she'd led that awful town. She had a genuine love for other ponies and couldn't stand to see them suffer. Starlight had been badly misguided, but she'd truly believed that she was helping her followers to live peaceful and happy lives. Indeed, as Twilight had told her student more than once, she reminded her a bit of Princess Celestia in that regard.
Twilight shook her head mournfully. It had all been so clear to her, but now she had a feeling like a monstrous worm twisting through her gut. Starlight was upset. More than upset, she was furious. She thought that Twilight had done this to her on purpose, had forced her into a form and a life that she didn't want. Worse, Twilight had to face the fact that she was at least partially right. Twilight's teachings, and this latest mission, had unquestionably had a hoof in her transformation.
A pale blue light shining in the sky caught Twilight's attention. Starlight was using her levitation spell. Twilight came within a hair's breadth of teleporting to her, but she restrained herself. Starlight wanted—needed—to be alone right now, and Twilight was obviously the last pony she wanted to see.
I'm supposed to be the Princess of Friendship, she thought sadly. How could I have messed this up so badly?
With her head hanging low, she started walking slowly west.
While on her way north, she had considered just continuing on to the Crystal Empire beyond the mountains. However, she'd soon decided that she could hardly keep herself a secret right under Princess Cadence's nose, not to mention Twilight's older brother. No, going back to her old village was much safer for her. Besides, it just felt right. Even the dirt beneath her hooves felt familiar and strangely comforting, in spite of all the terrible things that had happened here.
"Starlight Glimmer?!" a high-pitched voice rang out.
Starlight stiffened involuntarily. Despite having made her apologies and her peace with the ponies of this nameless town, she felt more than a little awkward coming back here. She had her wings hidden under a light gray vest, and had been hoping to settle back in with minimal fanfare. That had just become very unlikely.
"Starlight Glimmer, is it really you?" the cheerful voice called again. The pony it belonged to was trotting over to her.
"Hello, Sugar Belle!" Starlight forced a smile onto her face. "It's really me."
"What brings you here?" Sugar Belle asked. For all her happy greetings, she kept a bit of distance between herself and Starlight. She nodded toward Starlight's full saddlebags. "Are you planning to stay a while?"
Starlight nodded. "Twilight gave me a vacation," she lied. "I thought if there were anyplace I could put my friendship lessons to the test, it was here." She even managed not to choke too badly when she mentioned Twilight and her lessons. "I've actually got a gift for you."
Starlight reached into her bags with her telekinesis and pulled out a book with a picture of an extremely haughty looking griffon on the cover. She floated it over to Sugar Belle, who took it with glee.
"A recipe book by Gustave le Grand?" Sugar Belle squeaked. "Thank you!" Her previous trepidation forgotten, she threw her forelegs around Starlight's neck and pulled her close. After another round of pleasantries, she trotted off happily to see what new confections she could make. Starlight was left blissfully alone, but that didn't last very long. She exchanged words, hoofshakes, and hugs with almost everypony in town on the short walk to the other end of the village.
As she neared her old building, she realized that there was a problem. Somepony else's things were outside it. Starlight looked around awkwardly.
"Is someone living there?" she asked the pony next to her, a shy unicorn named Velvet Snow.
"Oh, yes," Velvet answered with some trepidation. "Party Favor has been running things since you, um, left."
"Oh," Starlight answered. Somehow she hadn't thought of that. Well, no matter, surely there was a place she could stay. "Are any of the other houses empty?"
"Um, just one," Velvet said. She pointed to a very particular house. The only house with a door that locked from the outside. A house with two tall windows too narrow to escape through. "The one you—I mean, we—used to use for..."
Brainwashing, Starlight finished the sentence in her mind. She suppressed a grimace at the dark memories of locking ponies in there for daring to think differently, for wanting to be something special. For being unequal.
Now she, who could never be equal to the others again, could stay there forever. It had a certain poetic justice to it.
"That'll do just fine," she assured Velvet with a warm smile. "Do you think Party Favor would mind if I stayed there while I'm on my vacation?"
"Not at all," a youngish stallion's voice answered. Starlight and Velvet turned to see the pony in question walking up the road toward them. "Starlight Glimmer," he said happily, "it's good to see you again."
"And you," Starlight replied. She still felt a flutter of nervousness looking at him. She had been particularly harsh on Party Favor near the end. However, if his bright eyes and easy smile were anything to go by, there were no hard feelings.
"But are you sure you want to stay in that house?" Party Favor asked.
Starlight nodded. "It's perfectly fine," she insisted.
"Well, alright," he said. "If you're sure, then you're welcome to it for as long as you like."
Starlight favored him with the best smile she could muster. "Thank you."
"Of course! Drop your things off, then maybe we could catch up over tea? Unless you'd prefer hot cocoa," he added hopefully.
"Tea sounds lovely," Starlight replied.
"Oh." He tried not to sound too crestfallen. "Tea it is, then. See you soon!"
"Thank you," Starlight said again. She walked slowly over to the vacant house and lifted the latch. It would be a little strange having to sleep with the door unlocked, but these were good ponies. Even with all she'd done, she could trust them. Probably.
Starlight used her magic to unlatch and open the door. Musty, stale air wafted out as she did so, causing her muzzle to wrinkle involuntarily. It seemed that nopony had used this place at all in the more than a year she'd been away. The windows didn't open, either, so she had no choice but to leave the door hanging wide open so she could air the place out.
Starlight dropped her bags near the door and looked around at her new home. She'd seen it plenty of times before, of course, but never with the prospect of staying there for any length of time. Bare walls, no furniture except for a single shelf attached to the stone, a feeding trough in one corner. Starlight shook her head. How had she ever thought that this was a way to promote friendship? Making this place fit for a pony to live in was going to be a project, but it was one that would have to wait.
Before leaving to visit with Party Favor, Starlight crept into one of the corners of the room, out of sight of the door and windows. There, she cautiously removed her vest and stretched out her cramped, aching wings. They extended slowly, the joints cracking, causing her to bite back a groan of discomfort. She gave a few flaps to loosen them up, then put the vest back on. Hopefully she'd find a better way to hide them soon, or else this was going to be a very long rest of her life.
"So you run the town now?" Starlight asked. She warmed her hooves on the cup of tea that Party Favor had given her.
Party Favor's horn glowed, using his magic to keep adding spoonfuls of sugar to his cup as he spoke. "Oh, there's not all that much to run," he said modestly. "Ponies around here take care of themselves, more or less. Oh, where are my manners? May I take your coat?"
"No!' Starlight exclaimed. Her wings fluttered with agitation beneath the vest that he'd mistaken for a light jacket. She cleared her throat. "I mean, um, no. Thank you, I'm fine."
"O...kay?" He finally stopped adding sugar to his tea and stirred it. Starlight was rather surprised that what was in the cup was still liquid. "What brings you back here, anyway? Not that we're not happy to see you," he hastened to add.
"Princess Twilight gave me some time off," Starlight said, repeating her lie from before. "I thought that this would be the perfect place to put what I've learned to the test."
"Well, we're glad to have you. How long are you in town for?"
"I'm not sure," Starlight answered. That, at least, was the truth. "She'll get in touch when she's ready."
Party Favor must have noticed something in her voice. "Did something happen?" He leaned forward. "This doesn't sound like a regular old break."
Starlight sighed. "We... had a falling out." She looked for the right words, for a way to explain what had happened without really explaining what had happened. "I didn't agree with the direction her lessons were taking. I didn't want what she wanted for me. So I left."
"Sorry to hear that." Party Favor fiddled with his untouched cup of tea. "Are you planning to go back?"
Starlight took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "I don't know," she said. "I don't think so."
"I see. Maybe in a week or two, after you've both cooled off?"
"Maybe," Starlight agreed, though she didn't believe it for a moment. Twilight had betrayed her trust, tricked her into something that could never be undone. Though, she mused, she was an alicorn now. She'd have the rest of eternity to come to terms with it.
Eternity. The thought of living forever terrified her, and she'd been pushing it away ever since her transformation. It was true that she wasn't quite like Celestia and Luna, so maybe she wouldn't have their longevity. But maybe she would. Maybe—
"Starlight?" Party Favor's voice broke in, freeing her from her thoughts before they could spiral too far. "You look like you're gonna be sick."
"I'm alright," Starlight said. That was the biggest lie she'd told yet. "I'm sorry, I think the trip is catching up with me."
"Of course," Party Favor replied. "While you were putting your things away I asked a couple of ponies to get a mattress into that house for you. It's not much, but—"
"That's wonderful, thank you," Starlight broke in. "I'm sure I'll be fine once I get some rest. Please excuse me." It was still the middle of the day, yet Starlight wanted nothing more than the privacy of her new home and the comfort of a bed, even if it was nothing but a mattress on a stone floor.
She went straight for her new home, brushing by other ponies with half-hearted pleasantries and excuses. After a few minutes that seemed to last far too long she finally shut the door behind her. Starlight wondered briefly if sealing it shut with a spell would be going too far, then decided that if everypony else had locks on their doors, then she should too. With a flash of her horn the spell was cast, ensuring that only she or another skilled unicorn could open the door.
The windows were another problem. She had nothing to cover them with, and anypony walking by would be able to see inside. She eventually settled on a simple privacy spell, which created an effect like frosted glass. It made it so anyone looking through would see only indistinct shapes, and had the added benefit of blocking some of the light streaming in.
With her new home as secure as she could make it at the moment, Starlight collapsed onto the mattress. She'd expected something lumpy and hard, matching the squalor of her new home, and was pleasantly surprised to find it quite comfortable. They'd even given her sheets and a blanket. Starlight squinted carefully at the windows, trying to judge just how much somepony looking in would be able to see. She decided that it was safe enough to remove her vest, which she carefully folded and set on the only shelf in the room.
Starlight then forced herself to look at the awful things she'd been hiding. Her wings were well-formed with a good span, and felt very strong. They might have even been attractive on another pony. To her, they were and would always be utterly repulsive, a symbol that she'd become everything she used to stand against.
Some ponies were different from others. She'd come to understand and even embrace that fact. Ponies had different skills, different strengths, and that was exactly what made life so rich and interesting. However, that did not mean that they weren't fundamentally equal to one another. Her life's journey thus far had led her to the conclusion that sameness and equality were two very different things, and her fixation on the former was where she had gone so wrong. Now, though?
How could she make any pretenses to equality with these awful wings marking her as royalty? When her magical powers, which had peaked long ago as a unicorn, would now continue to grow day by day? When the ponies around her would age, sicken, and die, and she would perhaps just keep on living forever?
Forever. Starlight couldn't fend off that idea any longer. With another burst of magic, she hastily cast a soundproofing spell on the house so the ponies outside wouldn't hear her cry.
The sound of Spike belching out a letter made Twilight's heart soar with hope. She heard his feet padding across the crystal floor of the castle's library and abandoned her stack of books to meet him halfway.
"Is it from Princess Celestia?" Twilight asked before Spike had a chance to speak. "What did she say? Does she know how to—"
"Twilight," Spike interrupted, "just let me read it."
"Heh." Twilight forced herself to sit still and listen. "Right, sorry."
Spike unfurled the letter and held it out in front of him.
"Ahem. Dear Princess Twilight, I've looked into what you asked me, but I'm sorry to say that there is no known way to reverse a pony's ascension. As far as I know, no one has even asked such a question before."
Twilight groaned miserably.
"I will say," Spike continued reading, "that I am saddened, and a bit disturbed, to hear of your student's reaction to ascending. It shows a fund... uh, funda..."
"Fundamental!" Twilight snapped.
"Right. A fundamental misunderstanding of what it means to be an alicorn. You must find Starlight Glimmer and help her to understand what she has become. As her teacher and her friend, this burden falls on you. Her ascension is a wonderful thing, but you must help her to see it."
"I knew it," Twilight whimpered. "This is all my fault." If she'd been a better teacher, if she'd prepared Starlight for this—hay, if she'd even realized that it might happen so soon, this could all have been avoided.
"However, Spike continued, "please do not blame yourself for what happened." As ever, Celestia might as well have read Twilight's mind. "Starlight Glimmer's quick advancement is the result of her talents and your abilities as a mentor. I could not be more proud of either of you. Please do not hesitate to ask if you need any further advice. Yours, Princess Celestia."
"That's it?" Twilight asked. She sounded defeated, rather than encouraged.
"Um." Spike flipped the letter over to see if there was anything on the back. "Yeah, that's it."
Twilight heaved a heavy sigh and dragged herself back toward her books.
"Uh, Twilight?" Spike asked uncertainly. "Aren't you going to go find Starlight Glimmer?"
"How?" Twilight asked. "I have no idea where she went. Besides, what would I even say to her?" She levitated a book and flapped it open and closed to imitate a mouth. "Hi Starlight, sorry I didn't warn you that you might grow wings and become a princess, I realize now that you might have wanted a say in that. Anyway, can we be friends again?" Twilight set the book back down and buried her head in her forehooves. "She hates me, Spike."
"Well, moping around here sure isn't going to change that," Spike answered.
Twilight lifted her head up. "No, it isn't," she said with renewed determination. "There's only one way to fix this, and that's to figure out how to reverse the transformation."
Twilight looked around for Rarity, who was helping her research. Though not a scholar, Rarity was a unicorn of no small power herself and had a keen eye for detail. She didn't immediately spot her among the stacks, but caught a flash of white disappearing behind one of the far shelves.
"Rarity, have you found anything?" Twilight called out.
"No, darling," Rarity's lilting voice echoed back from across the room. "Of course, it might help if I knew what I was looking for."
"I don't know, that's the problem," Twilight answered. "Anything to do with alicorns. I need to understand how the transformation works if I'm going to undo it."
"Very well," Rarity answered, sounding resigned. They'd been at this for quite some time already. "I shall see what else I can find."
Several hours and many, many books later, Twilight rubbed her aching eyes and set aside yet another useless tome.
"Nothing?" Rarity had long since given up sounding concerned, and now merely sounded tired.
"Nothing," Twilight confirmed. "I knew there wasn't much information on alicorns, but this is ridiculous."
"Well, what do we know?" Rarity prompted. "It may give us a starting point, at least."
"Urgh. Let's see." Twilight pulled out the sparse notes she'd managed to collect. "Celestia and Luna were the first known alicorns. Because of all the turmoil Equestria went through around the time they first appeared, there is no surviving record of their ascension. That's assuming that they even did ascend; it's possible that they were born that way. Even the princesses themselves seem unsure of the facts, or unwilling to share the details. Since then, there have been two—now three—other alicorns: Cadence, me, and Starlight. Each time the ascension came about because of something to do with that pony's talent, and in all three cases there was also a powerful magical artifact involved. For Cadence it was the Crystal Heart, for me, the Elements of Harmony, and for Starlight Glimmer, the Jade Orb." She set that sheet aside and picked up another. "That's literally all the facts we have. Now we get into theories: Ascension seems to be closely tied to a pony's talent and destiny. I'm not sure exactly what triggers it, but based on what we've seen it's almost certain that Harmony is the power behind it."
"Then there's nothing to be done," Rarity said. "If it really is destiny, or Harmony, or whatever you like to call it, it's simply the way things must be."
"That can't be true!" Twilight slammed a hoof down on the table. "If this is how things are supposed to be, then wouldn't Starlight be happy about it? She was acting more like—" Twilight cut herself off.
Rarity tilted her head. "Like what, darling?"
Twilight was reluctant to answer. "Like when I accidentally cast Starswirl's spell on all of you," she finally said. "Like Starlight's destiny was taken from her, and she knows something's wrong, but there's nothing she can do." Twilight shook her head. "And just like that time, I caused this problem and I can fix it!"
Rarity gave a thoughtful hum. "Maybe..."
Twilight shot her a look. "Maybe what?"
"Maybe Princess Celestia was right?" Rarity suggested. "It's been a week or more, surely Starlight's calmed down enough to speak with you."
"How did you know what Celestia said?" Twilight asked suspiciously. She turned to glare at her assistant, who was making a show of looking innocent while looking everywhere except back at her. "Spike!"
"Yes, Spikey told me what the princess said, and truth be told I think she's right," Rarity insisted. "Before you try rewriting Harmony itself, why don't you at least go speak with Starlight? Maybe you'll find that things aren't as bad as you think. Who knows, maybe it just took her some time to get used to the idea. What have you got to lose?"
Twilight groaned again. It was true that her research here had hit a dead end, but like she'd told Spike, she didn't even know where to begin looking for Starlight Glimmer. None of Twilight's friends in Canterlot had seen her, and she certainly wasn't in Ponyville. She'd even sent a letter to Cadence and Shining Armor, on the off chance that Starlight decided to seek the help of another alicorn, but they hadn't heard anything either. Her last hope was hearing back from Party Favor, who was now running what used to be Starlight's town, but he had yet to return her letter.
What am I going to do?
What am I going to do?
Party Favor looked once more at the letter on his table, as if this time it would somehow reveal the proper course of action. He'd received the letter several days ago and still hadn't decided what to do about it.
It was from Princess Twilight, asking whether he'd seen or heard anything about Starlight Glimmer. There were no specifics, but the letter said that Twilight was worried about her student and was desperately seeking any information on her whereabouts. Normally he would have sent a reply without a second thought to reassure the princess that Starlight was safe and staying here in the town for a while, but a couple of things had stayed his hoof.
First of all, it was very odd that Princess Twilight didn't know where her own student was. It suggested that Starlight didn't want her to know. Second, there was Starlight herself. She'd been acting very strangely since she came back. While she was all smiles and small talk in public, she was spending most of her time locked away in that repurposed prison, and she was skittish in a way that he'd never imagined Starlight could be. She always seemed on edge whenever anypony else was around, no matter how she tried to hide it. Starlight was worried about something, and she wouldn't tell anypony what it was. When he put the pieces together, Party Favor couldn't come up with any answer except that Starlight was avoiding her teacher for some reason.
The thing to do, of course, would be to take the letter to Starlight and see what she wanted done with it. But she'd seemed so upset on that first day back, and she'd been behaving so oddly that he was afraid of how she might react. He was also just afraid in general. He'd forgiven Starlight and meant it, but he couldn't forget what she'd done. What she'd done to him.
It wasn't like she was going to lock him up again, Party Favor argued with himself for the hundredth time, with no more success than before. The thought of bringing this up with her still tied his stomach in knots. He put the letter back into its envelope and returned it to his otherwise-empty inbox.
There was a knock on the door.
"Come in," Party Favor called.
The door glowed teal and swung open. Starlight Glimmer walked in, nearly causing him to jump in surprise. Speak of the devil and she appears.
Party Favor mentally scolded himself for the mean-spirited thought.
"What can I do for you?" he asked. His voice was very nearly steady.
"You've done more than enough for me already," Starlight answered cheerfully. "I was actually wondering if there was anything I could do. Any work that needs doing, or anything that you need help with?" She wouldn't say it out loud, but Starlight was secretly hoping that a bit of menial work would help reassure her that she was no better, no more special, than anypony else.
"Oh! Uh, not that I can think of right now," Party Favor answered her. Whatever he'd been expecting, that wasn't it. "There's really not a whole lot to do. Like I said, the place pretty much runs itself these days." He gestured toward his mostly-empty desk. "As you can see, I'm not exactly swamped."
"No, I suppose not," Starlight answered with a forced chuckle. She walked slowly around the house, lost for a moment in her memories. Despite how awful she'd been, they weren't all bad. Plenty of happy times had been had in this very house. Her gaze fell last upon Party Favor's desk, and the single piece of paper still on it.
Starlight gasped, and Party Favor winced.
"What is this?!" Starlight demanded. She levitated the envelope to take a closer look. There was no mistaking the writing style, so different from a pony's mouth or horn-writing. "This is Spike's handwriting, isn't it? Party Favor, what is this?"
"I'm sorry Starlight, I should have told you," Party Favor babbled. "I should have come to you as soon as I got it. But you seemed so upset and I didn't know why, and I didn't want to make anything worse. I'm sorry, I just—"
"It's alright," Starlight cut in, though her voice was still tense. Any thought she'd had that it was just a coincidence, that it was a letter about something other than her, was gone. It had been a faint hope anyway. Of course Twilight would suspect that she'd come back here.
Starlight took a deep breath, fighting to keep her temper under control. "You should have come to me," she said, "but... I understand why you wouldn't want to. Please, excuse me."
Starlight trotted out carrying the letter with her. No sooner was she outside than Party Favor heard the sound of paper ripping. He dared a glance out the window and saw Starlight reading the letter, the shredded remains of the envelope floating alongside her.
Starlight read over the words again and again. It was a short letter and completely impersonal, mentioning nothing of apologies or an explanation for what had happened to her. Of course it was meant to be read by Party Favor, not her, but still...
Starlight's eye twitched angrily and her teeth ground together. So Twilight Sparkle was trying to find her. Of course she was. No doubt Twilight thought she would kiss Starlight's hooves, get her forgiveness, and wrap the whole thing up with some preachy lesson about friendship. Well, if she really wanted Starlight's forgiveness, it was going to take a bit more than a form letter to Party Favor.
And how dare he keep that from her!
The letter and envelope burst into magical flames and the ashes scattered away on the wind. Whether it was the magical display of her temper or simply the murderous look in her eyes, ponies gave Starlight a very wide berth as she returned back to her new home. She slammed the door behind her. It was several minutes before Starlight's breathing steadied.
What in Equestria am I doing? Starlight asked herself. The way the other ponies had shied away from her suddenly stood out in her mind. How they had moved to the very edges of the road while she stomped down the center of it. How mares and stallions had nudged their foals behind them. Of course, that was even why Party Favor hadn't come to her once he got the letter. They were scared of her.
With a heavy heart, Starlight removed her vest and stretched out her wings.
How much more scared would they be if they knew the truth?
Twilight was knocked heavily to the ground by a rainbow-colored blur.
"Twilight!" Rainbow Dash practically shouted into her ear. "Twilight, I found her! I know where she is!"
Twilight growled in annoyance and used her telekinesis to lift the pegasus off of her. She held Rainbow suspended in the air where she wouldn't cause any further damage.
"You know where who is?" Twilight asked evenly. "And please try to tell me without rupturing my other eardrum."
She almost immediately regretted the harsh words. Rainbow didn't deserve that. Twilight had been more than a little on edge for the past couple of weeks, and despite her best efforts it was starting to show.
"Starlight Glimmer," another voice answered from above them.
Twilight looked up as a familiar dusky pegasus with a white mane soared in and landed beside the two ponies.
"I heard you were looking for her," Night Glider added.
Twilight gasped, all her annoyance with Rainbow Dash forgotten. "You found her?!"
"Yeah," Rainbow answered. Freed from Twilight's telekinesis, she now hovered easily in the air under her own power. "I was at the weather factory when I heard that Night Glider was in town, so we met up."
"Rainbow told me what happened with you and Starlight Glimmer," Night Glider picked up the story. "Well, sort of. She wasn't very clear with the details."
"Eheh, sorry," Rainbow Dash said. "Twilight made us promise not to tell."
"It's between me and Starlight," Twilight confirmed. "At least until she's comfortable with other ponies knowing."
"Totally, I get it." Night Glider waved a hoof. "Anyway, Rainbow told me that you two'd had a fight or something, and you were trying to find where Starlight went and make it up to her."
"Yes, yes!" Twilight answered, her impatience beginning to grow again. "So do you know where she is?"
"Yeah," Night Glider said. "She came back to the town a couple weeks ago."
"Back to the... what?!" Twilight's eyes turned deadly, and she thought her mane might have caught fire from the heat of her sudden anger. "One of the first things I did was send a letter to Party Favor!" she shouted. "I asked him specifically if Starlight had gone back home, and he never answered me!"
"Well," Night Glider shrugged, either oblivious to Twilight's temper or not acknowledging it, "I don't know what that's about. All I know is that she's back, and she's not happy."
"He, I—" Twilight sputtered.
"Uh, Twi?" Rainbow Dash awkwardly put herself between Twilight and Night Glider. "Don't shoot the messenger."
Twilight clenched her teeth and growled in frustration.
It's not her fault, Twilight told herself. It's not her fault. It's not her fault.
Twilight sighed.
"I'm sorry," she apologized to Night Glider. "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."
"It's okay," Night Glider answered. "You must be worried about her."
"I am," Twilight admitted. "Is Starlight okay? I know she's not happy, but is she... okay?"
"I'm not sure what you mean," Night Glider said. "She does spend a lot of time shut up in her house." Night Glider scuffed a hoof. "She's all smiles and small talk with the rest of us, but she won't say a word about what happened. Nopony's gotten her to open up yet."
"That's not surprising," Twilight said.
"Was it really that bad?" Night Glider asked.
"It's... yeah. It was bad," Twilight said sadly. Her ears drooped.
"Oh come on, Twilight!" Rainbow said. "It's not like this is the first time you ever made a mistake. You're the Princess of Friendship, for pony's sake! If anyone can make this right, you can."
"Yeah. You're right." Twilight perked up. "You're right. I need to get on the next train up to that town and find Starlight Glimmer."
"Just like that?" Night Glider sounded surprised. "What if she doesn't want to talk yet? Do you have a plan or something?"
Rainbow Dash facehoofed.
"Plan?" Twilight laughed. With her magic, she reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a tightly rolled piece of parchment. She held onto one end and allowed the rest to fall. It reached the ground and kept rolling. "I've spent the last week charting out all the possible circumstances of our meeting, all the different ways our conversation might go, and how best to handle it. I spent hours triple-checking it just this morning, so I'm sure I've covered every possibility. Item one:" Twilight started reading off her painstakingly constructed list.
Rainbow leaned over to Night Glider. "Never ask Twilight about her plans," she hissed into the other pegasus's ear. "We'll be here all day."
"That's, um, that's great, Twilight," Night Glider tried to talk over Twilight's rambling, "but. Urgh." She took a deep breath.
"...and if she doesn't want to go for hayburgers—"
"Twilight!" Night Glider shouted.
"Ah!" Twilight yelped. "Oh. Uh, sorry." She awkwardly cleared her throat, then magically re-rolled the parchment and put it away. "Anyway, thank you for telling me, Night Glider. This really means a lot to me."
"No problem," Night Glider said. "Whatever might have happened before, I've come to think of Starlight Glimmer as a friend. I can't help her right now, but I think you can."
Twilight lowered her head. "I hope so."
"So, uh, Twilight," Rainbow said, "I know you're in a hurry and all, but Night Glider and I were gonna stop by Sugarcube Corner. You wanna come?"
Twilight's first instinct was to decline, to race for the train station and get on her way at once, but she reconsidered. It would be good to talk to Night Glider again, and it might give her some much-needed insight.
"Sure," Twilight said, "that sounds nice."
Starlight wanted to slam her house's door hard enough to break it to splinters, but she restrained herself. The last thing she needed was to make the townsponies more afraid of her. Instead, she gently shut it behind her.
She was still furious at Party Favor for not telling her about the letter, and at Twilight for sending it in the first place. If there was one bright spot in all of this, it was that Party Favor hadn't replied to the letter. Twilight wouldn't know that her former student was here, though she'd certainly figure it out eventually. If nothing else, Starlight had a little time to decide what to do.
Starlight shrugged out of her vest and set it on the shelf, then froze as a thought occurred to her. Night Glider had left the town a couple of days ago to visit Cloudsdale. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were both from Cloudsdale and had family and friends there. It was unlikely, but if word reached them that Night Glider was in town, or if Night Glider decided to swing by Ponyville before coming back, then Twilight might meet up with her.
Starlight forced down the rising panic inside her. She needed to think. If the worst happened and Twilight showed up here, then what? Maybe it would be best if Starlight just disappeared again. She shook her head angrily at the thought. She was already going to spend the rest of her life hiding from what she was, she refused to have to hide from Twilight as well. Maybe it would be better to just chase her off right away, let her know that she wasn't welcome in this town.
No, that won't work either. Starlight's own feelings notwithstanding, Twilight Sparkle was a well-known and loved pony in this little town. Whatever Starlight tried to do, the others would certainly welcome her in.
Starlight stretched and flexed her wings without thinking. She hated how natural they felt on her, how easily they responded to her thoughts and instincts. She thought of them as tumors, unwanted growths. The fact that her body had accepted them so easily felt like a betrayal.
She flopped down on her mattress and pushed her powerful mind back on track. Thinking about her wings to avoid thinking about Twilight wasn't going to help. There was only one way out of this mess, and that was through it. If Twilight showed up here, Starlight would just have to meet with her former teacher. Starlight would have to tell her, in no uncertain terms, that she wasn't welcome in Starlight's home or in her life.
She nodded to herself. Get Twilight out of her life and just fade back into the background of Equestria. Yes, that would be best. There would be some questions at first, and ponies would wonder what had become of the Princess of Friendship's first student, but eventually they'd lose interest. In the meantime, she just had to make sure that none of the ponies here realized what she was. Let them think whatever they wanted; it would be better than them knowing the truth.
She sighed and snuggled into the mattress. Now that she had a plan she felt a bit better. Her anger and fear had burned out, leaving her feeling mostly tired. Maybe a quick nap wouldn't be a bad idea. It wasn't as if she had anything better to do.
She'd barely closed her eyes when somepony knocked on her door. She'd been so careful to close it gently that it seemed the latch hadn't quite caught—and, she realized a moment too late, she hadn't re-cast her locking spell. The door swung open slightly from the impact.
Sugar Belle poked her head in. "Starlight? Are you in here?"
Starlight leaped to her hooves and reached out for her vest, but it was too late. Sugar Belle's concerned eyes found her, then flicked to her sides. To her wings. Sugar Belle's eyes widened and her mouth fell open.
In a panic, Starlight reached out with her magic and pulled Sugar Belle into the house. She then slammed the door closed and cast the spell to lock it so that nopony else would blunder in and see what they mustn't. Starlight tested the door, then checked the windows to make sure her privacy spell was holding. With that done, she took a deep breath and turned to face the other pony, then stopped.
Sugar Belle was trembling. Her pupils had shrunk to pinpricks, and she was huddled in the corner as far from Starlight as she could get. She was whimpering softly.
"Sugar Belle." Starlight reached out a hoof, but Sugar Belle just squeezed herself harder against the wall.
What am I doing? Starlight realized how she was acting and felt like kicking herself. Of course Sugar Belle was terrified. "Sugar Belle, please calm down," she said more quietly, "I'm not going to hurt you."
"W—what are you going to do to me?" Sugar Belle asked. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come in without asking! I won't do it again. Please don't punish me!"
Starlight slowly crossed over to the hysterical mare. "It's okay," she said. "I shouldn't have pulled you in here like that. But please understand, I can't let anypony know about... about these." She fluttered her wings. "When you saw them, I panicked. I'm sorry if I scared you."
"What—" Sugar Belle sniffled. "What happened to you?"
Starlight took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm an alicorn now." She held up a hoof to cut off Sugar Belle's congratulations, or whatever else might be coming. "Not by choice. I don't want this. One of Twilight's lessons made me transform, somehow, and I'm hiding out here until I can figure out what to do."
"Wow." Sugar Belle slowly approached her. "But this is amazing! Why hide it?"
"Because I don't want to be a princess," Starlight answered simply. "I don't want to be anything more than I was, or anything more than anypony else is. That's why I freaked out, and that's why you can't tell anypony else about it, okay?"
The other pony slowly nodded. "Okay, Starlight. It'll be our secret."
Starlight smiled as relief washed through her. "Thank you." Starlight used her magic to pull her vest back on, then unlocked the door. "Sorry about that," she said sheepishly.
"No worries," Sugar Belle answered. "Can I come back later and visit?"
Starlight was tempted to say no, but there was no sense hiding from Sugar Belle now. It might actually be nice to have one pony—one friend—who knew her secret. "Sure. I'll see you later."
Sugar Belle opened the door and walked outside. Starlight made a show of standing in the open doorway to wave goodbye before closing it again. If the others thought that she was opening up to Sugar Belle, maybe the rest of them wouldn't keep trying so hard. At any rate, she'd just have to make the best of it. As long as Sugar Belle could keep her mouth shut... what were the odds of that?
And I also need to stop terrifying the townsponies with everything I do.
With a whole new slew of problems to worry about, Starlight closed and locked the door again.
The bell above the door of Sugarcube Corner tinkled happily as Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Night Glider walked in. Rainbow Dash leaned in toward Night Glider.
"Brace yourself," she warned.
"For wha—" Night Glider cut off as she was nearly knocked off her hooves by a pink blur, which soon resolved itself in Pinkie Pie hugging her tightly around the neck.
"For that," Rainbow answered.
"Long time no see!" Pinkie exclaimed as she half-led, half-dragged Night Glider and the others to a table. "It was perfect timing too, we've got a fresh batch of blueberry muffins. They're your favorite, right?"
"Uh. Yes, actually," Night Glider answered. "How'd you know?"
"It's better not to ask," Rainbow Dash advised. "Hey Pinkie, can I get an ursa claw?"
"Sure! How 'bout you, Twilight?"
"Just a cup of tea, please,” Twilight answered.
“Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie chirped. She trotted back behind the counter to prepare their orders.
Once the three were settled, Twilight turned to Night Glider.
“How have you been?” she asked. “How have things been up in the town? You know, besides... the obvious.”
“Pretty good, really,” Night Glider said. “Party Favor runs things well enough, not that there’s all that much to run. Starlight got us pretty much self-sufficient back when she was in charge, and things have been going great ever since we got our talents back.”
“Good!” Twilight replied distractedly. “That’s great to hear.”
Night Glider sighed. “Come on, Twilight, I know that’s not what you want to ask.”
Twilight pressed her face into her hooves. What did she want to ask? She already knew the answers to all of the obvious questions.
“I’m just looking for some insight,” Twilight said. “I need to get inside Starlight’s head a little, figure out what she’s thinking and how I can make this right.”
“That’s a pretty tall—”
“Order!” Pinkie called from next to her. Pinkie set down a tray containing a blueberry muffin, an ursa claw, and a cup of strong-smelling tea with cream and sugar. “Need anything else?”
The three ponies shook their heads.
“Great! If you need anything at all, just give a call!” With that, Pinkie pronked away to help her other customers.
Night Glider cleared her throat. “That’s a pretty tall order, Twilight,” she continued. “It’s like I said, Starlight’s barely talked to anypony since she came back. Even when she does talk, it’s never about anything important. I mean, she was gone for a year and she’ll hardly say a word about what happened while she was away.
“She hasn’t let anypony get close to her?” Twilight pressed. “There’s no one that she talks to, confides in?”
Night Glider shrugged. “If she has, I don’t know about it. She’s been to visit Party Favor a couple of times, and she goes to Sugar Belle’s place to eat, but otherwise she mostly stays in her house.”
Twilight sighed. She took a deep breath and a long sip of her tea to help center her thoughts. "I just don't understand—"
"Well that's your problem right there," Pinkie interrupted. Night Glider did a double-take at her sudden appearance.
"What do you mean?" Twilight asked.
"I just don't understand," Pinkie parroted Twilght's words back to her. "How can you fix a problem when you don't know what the problem is?"
"I... huh." Twilight was taken aback. Did she know what the problem was? In one sense it was obvious: Starlight was an alicorn, by rights a princess, and she didn't want to be. Was that really the root of the problem, though? Ascension was supposed to be the ultimate proof that a pony had fulfilled his or her destiny, but Starlight didn't want to ascend. Was it like Princess Celestia said, and Starlight had a fundamental misunderstanding of what the transformation meant? Did Twilight misunderstand what the transformation meant? Had Harmony itself made a mistake? Was that even possible?
"Hello? Equestria to Twilight," Rainbow Dash called to her.
Twilight blinked and came back to the present. "Pinkie, you're a genius!" she exclaimed.
Pinkie giggled. "Yeah, I get that a lot."
"I thought that Starlight and I were just having a misunderstanding, and I felt terrible about it," Twilight said. "I've been trying to figure how to get her to listen to me and understand what I'm saying, but it never even occurred to me that she might be right. That's the problem I need to solve!" She stood up and held up her head for the first time in days. "Not how to bring Starlight around to my side, but to figure out why she's acting the way she is. If there's a deeper issue here, then the two of us will need to fix it together!"
Twilight's stomach growled, causing her to blush. Now that she was suddenly feeling better, the days of no appetite had caught up. "Hey, Pinkie?" she said sheepishly, "I think I'm hungry after all. May I have a daisy sandwich, please?"
While Pinkie went to get Twilight's sandwich ready, Rainbow Dash leaned across the table.
"So," she said, "I guess you'll be going up to the town after all?"
"Soon, yes," Twilight confirmed. "I plan to take the next train north."
"That was your plan before," Rainbow pointed out.
Twilight flushed again. "True, but this time there's a better... well, plan, behind the plan. Now I've got a better idea of what to do when I get there."
"The next train leaves in about two hours," Night Glider informed her. "I know because I'm planning to be on it."
"Yeah," Night Glider answered. "I was supposed to be on my way back already, but I was glad to make this little side trip.
"We're glad you did, too," Twilight said.
"So, without getting into specifics," Night Glider continued, "you know what you're going to say to Starlight now?"
"Yes," Twilight answered. "I'm going to say nothing."
"Say what?" Rainbow asked.
"Nothing, that's what she just said," Pinkie replied for Twilight. She handed Twilight a plate with a fresh daisy sandwich on it and a fresh cup of tea, though Twilight hadn't asked for it.
"That's right," Twilight confirmed. "Talking more than I listened was how I got Starlight, and myself, into this mess in the first place. So I'm not going to say anything. Instead, I'm going to hear what Starlight Glimmer has to say."
"I think that's a way better plan than hayburgers," Night Glider said.
"Me too," Twilight agreed.
Starlight Glimmer was, if possible, even more nervous than usual as she picked her way across to Sugar Belle's bakery. Nopony seemed to be looking at her any differently than usual, so maybe her secret was still safe. Then again, everypony tended to look at her strangely anyway, so it was hard to tell. Were there more whispers following her than the day before?
Starlight nudged open the bakery's door and stepped inside. It was late for lunch—Starlight had been too afraid to leave her house, until hunger had finally overwhelmed her nerves—and she and Sugar Belle were the only ones there.
"Starlight! Hi!" Sugar Belle's bubbly attitude, at least, didn't seem to have changed.
"Hi," Starlight muttered. "I'll just take my usual, please."
"Coming right up," Sugar Belle answered. As she was gathering Starlight's usual order of a cranberry muffin and tea to go, she looked around furtively. She leaned over closer to Starlight and whispered, "Aren't they uncomfortable? You know, under the vest?"
Starlight grit her teeth. "They are, yes," she grumbled. "So the sooner I get back home, the better."
"I've got a better idea," Sugar Belle replied. "Follow me." She walked toward the back of the shop.
What is this about? Starlight wondered anxiously if Sugar Belle had planned some grand reveal of her wings. Her fears only grew when Sugar Belle opened the door to her basement and light came up through it. No doubt she had every pony in the town down there, ready to spring a surprise party. Starlight nearly turned and bolted right then, but Sugar Belle beckoned her forward instead.
"It's alright," she said gently. "Come on down."
With great trepidation, Starlight went to the top of the stairs and looked down them. To her immense relief, there was nopony down there. There was no cold, dark basement either. Sugar Belle had transformed it into a warmly lit private dining room, with a single table set in amongst the shelves of ingredients and baking supplies.
"No one except me comes down here," Sugar Belle told her. "You can eat here anytime you like."
Starlight was stunned. "Wait, really?" she asked. "You did all this for me?"
"Of course!" Sugar Belle answered. "I'd hate to think that you have to spend all your time cooped up in that little house, or wearing that vest. Now you'll have at least one more place you can be yourself."
"I," Starlight's voice caught in her throat, "I don't know what to say. Thank you. Thank you!" She threw her forelegs around Sugar Belle's neck.
"You're welcome," Sugar Belle choked out. Starlight held her for a few moments longer until she awkwardly tapped Starlight's shoulder. "Uh, Starlight? I can't breathe."
"Oh! Sorry," Starlight said sheepishly. She cleared her throat and picked up her bag of food. "So I can really use this room?"
"Whenever you want!" Sugar Belle answered. "Go on, go and eat," she insisted.
"Thank you," Starlight said again. "This... this really means a lot to me." She descended the stairs, shrugged off her vest, and sat down to the best meal she'd had in days.
Starlight Glimmer raised the cranberry muffin in a magical field and took a delicate bite from it. Sugar Belle's muffins had tasted much better ever since she got her talent back, but somehow this one seemed even more delicious than usual. Starlight sighed contentedly.
What was I so worried about? she wondered. Of course Sugar Belle wouldn't treat her any differently, even if she was different now. Neither would Party Favor—then again, he always treated her with respect bordering on terror anyway. Starlight becoming a princess certainly wouldn't change that.
Starlight swallowed the bite of muffin she was chewing and washed it down with a sip of tea. She slowly lowered the cup to the table and took a deep breath.
I need to think about this rationally, Starlight told herself. It was unrealistic to think that she could keep her wings hidden forever. Sugar Belle had seen them already, and it was only a matter of time before Starlight slipped again and somepony else found out. Besides, it wasn't the wings themselves that were the problem, it was what they represented.
So if she accepted that it wasn't a matter of if, but when ponies found out about her ascension, then... what? What did that mean for her?
Starlight took another nibble of the muffin as she mulled it over. Logically, it meant that the best she could do was control when and how the others found out, and how they reacted. A relatively simple mind-control spell could—
She nearly choked on a cranberry.
No. Bad Starlight. She would solve this like a normal pony who didn't brute-force through all of her problems with magic. She would solve this like...
Like Twilight would.
Thinking of her former teacher's name caused anger to flare up inside Starlight, but she pushed it back down. Anger and fear had driven her back here, gotten her cornered in what used to be the jail of the town she used to rule. If she wanted to get out of that corner, she needed to use what Twilight had taught her. It was only fair that Twilight's teachings would get her out of the mess that they'd caused.
Starlight groaned and rubbed her temples. Suddenly the muffin didn't taste so deliciously sweet anymore. She took a larger swig of tea, hoping the caffeine would jolt her mind into action.
There were really two separate issues here: controlling the reaction to her ascension in the short-term, and undoing the transformation in the long-term. She had no doubts that reversing the ascension would be extremely difficult, and she'd be starting completely from scratch, so she had to make sure that things didn't get out of hoof in the meantime. The thought of seeing Princess Starlight glorified in a stained glass window in the royal palace just made her shudder.
She took a bite of the muffin and chewed it mechanically. She needed to do this properly, one step at a time. The first step was to build more of a support network in the town, ponies who could keep things in check and encourage others to keep quiet once the secret was out. The town's extreme isolation would work to her advantage, but it wasn't as if ponies never left to visit other places in Equestria, and she wouldn't stop them from travelling even if she could. She just needed to be sure that they wouldn't spread news of her ascension everywhere.
Now that she thought about it, the next step was obvious. She needed to talk to a pony who she could be certain wouldn't spill the beans until she okayed it. Someone who always did as she said, even though he was supposedly in charge. She needed to talk to Party Favor.
Now that she had her next step solidified, the muffin and the now-lukewarm tea seemed to regain their sweetness. She finished her meal, savoring every mouthful.
Twilight Sparkle and Night Glider sat in silence for a long while, just watching the scenery fly past as the train chugged north.
"How are you feeling?" Night Glider asked Twilight.
"Really nervous," Twilight admitted. "Scared. Kind of sick," she finally squeaked.
They sat in silence for a few moments longer.
"That's usually when you reassure the other pony that everything will be okay," Twilight half-joked.
Night Glider thought it over for a second, then said, "I can't promise that everything will be okay. But I can promise that you're doing the right thing."
Twilight groaned and buried her head in her hooves. Her stomach was doing flips almost as frequently as her emotions. One moment she felt strong and confident, secure in the knowledge that she was finally taking steps to fix the mess she'd caused. The next moment all she could picture was Starlight angrily refusing to even talk, chasing her out of the village and disappearing from Twilight's life forever.
"Hey." Night Glider nudged her with a hoof. "That's not gonna help."
"It was alright while I was planning, while I was doing something," Twilight answered. "Now that we're just sitting here it's all catching up to me again."
"Do you want to talk?" Night Glider asked. "I haven't told you what else has been going on around town."
Twilight performed the breathing exercise she'd learned from Cadance, taking a deep breath in and letting the stress go with the air. It worked, sort of.
"Sure," she replied. "What has been going on around town?"
"Well," Night Glider began, then trailed off. "There's... um. I guess there's not really much news to tell," she finished sheepishly. "Party Favor has been doing well enough as the new leader. Now that we've all got our talents back, things are a lot better all around, and we mostly take care of our own business. No news is good news, I guess."
"That's good," Twilight answered absently. The mention of their returning talents made her think of something. "I never asked," she said, "and feel free not to answer if this is too personal. What did the ponies in that town think of Starlight's ideas about equality? What do you all think of her now?"
Night Glider frowned in thought, and was silent for so long that Twilight worried she had crossed a line. Right as Twilight was about to apologize for asking, Night Glider finally answered.
"I can't speak for anypony else," she said, "but I think that Starlight's heart was in the right place. She really was trying to make life better for everyone. And, to be fair, her manifesto was what got us all there in the first place." Night Glider shrugged. "A world where everypony is equal and treated the same is a nice idea."
"Yeah," Twilight murmured. Starlight's words echoed through her mind, reminding her that she lived in a magical crystal castle and regularly had ponies bowing to her. "Yeah, it is."
"She went about it all wrong, obviously," Night Glider continued, "but I think she's learned a lot since then. Thanks to you."
Twilight went slightly pink at the praise.
"She really is amazing, isn't she?" Twilight said sadly.
"Yeah," Night Glider answered. "I bet she's gonna do some great things."
True though it was, something about that made Twilight frown.
"Something wrong?" Night Glider asked.
"What if—" Twilight had to take a second to put the words together, and decide how much to tell. "What if she doesn't want to do great things?"
Now it was Night Glider's turn to frown. "What do you mean? She's already done some amazing stuff. Not good stuff, but definitely impressive."
Twilight chose her words carefully. "Starlight once told me that one of the things that bothered her most about running the town was that she was being a hypocrite. She was pushing for everypony to be the same, but she had to keep her own talent so that she could continue using her magic. I've sometimes wondered if she doesn't want ponies to look up to her anymore, because that would mean that she's somehow better than them."
"That's silly," Night Glider answered. "Literally the first thing you and your friends taught her was that it's okay to be different, and to have talents that other ponies don't."
"I know," Twilight said, "but I think there's a difference between being good at something that another pony isn't, and being up on a pedestal like... well, like me, or like her when she was running the town. I don't think she wants to be in the limelight like that again."
"Well, maybe you're right," Night Glider answered. "Does this have something to do with your, uh, falling-out?"
Twilight sighed and nodded. "Yeah," she answered. "I pushed something on her, without really meaning to, that she wasn't okay with. It would have put her in a very prominent position. I guess she'd rather go back to the town than have to live with what that new role would mean for her."
"I see," Night Glider said. "Sort of. She couldn't just turn down this new job, or whatever it was?"
"No, not really," Twilight replied. "It's not the sort of thing you can just forget happened." If only we could, she added silently.
The conversation petered out after that. Eventually Twilight, who had not been sleeping well, was lulled to sleep by the gentle motion of the train. Night Glider, despite a powerful curiosity about what exactly had happened between Starlight and Twilight, was happy to let her rest.
Starlight stood outside the door to her old house, which now belonged to Party Favor. She swallowed the lump in her throat, wishing that it would go down as easily as Sugar Belle's baked goods. She'd been standing there for well over a minute now, trying to work up the nerve to go inside. Maybe she'd just do it tomorrow.
No. It had to happen sooner or later, and the sooner the better. The longer she put off revealing what she was, the greater the chance that ponies would find out on their own. She was going to do this right now, before something went wrong.
Right now.
Right... now.
Everypony is staring, she told herself. It was true—they'd all seen her go in and out of this house freely. Why would she just be standing awkwardly in front of it now? Just knock on the door, for pony's sake!
Starlight took a quick breath, shut her eyes, and quickly knocked twice. She waited, so tense she was practically trembling, as the sound of hoofsteps came closer. The door opened, and Party Favor looked out at her in surprise.
"Hey, Starlight!" he said. He was making an effort to sound calm and collected, though he looked almost as scared as she was. "What can I do for you?"
"Can we talk?" Starlight asked through clenched teeth. "Inside?"
"Uh, sure," Party Favor answered hesitantly. "C—come on in."
Starlight walked into the house and shut the door behind her. Then, with a quick burst of magic, she shut the blinds over all of the windows and slammed the lock shut on the door. Party Favor was staring at her with wide, terrified eyes, causing Starlight to roll her own.
"I'm not going to do anything to you," she said exasperatedly. The annoyance was something of a blessing, actually, since it had pushed out her nervousness. "I..." Okay, maybe not. "I have something I need to show you, and I don't want anypony else to see."
"Something to... show me?" Party Favor stammered. "Something private?" A faint blush was creeping up his face.
"Oh, for—" Starlight facehoofed. "It's nothing like that. Just... just don't yell or anything, okay?"
"Um. Okay?" His face was some strange mix of curiosity, fear, and confusion. "What is it?"
Starlight took a shaky breath. She used her magic to undo the buttons on the gray vest she wore everywhere, and set it off to the side.
"It's this," she said. She flared her wings open.
Party Favor, remembering his promise, stifled his exclamation with a hoof.
"This happened to me just before I came back to town," Starlight explained. "It's actually why I came back. And no one else can know about this, understand?"
Party Favor, not trusting himself to speak, simply nodded that he understood.
"So... yeah." Starlight let her wings droop, then remembered to fold them back in against her sides. "That's it."
"That's it?" Party Favor exclaimed. At Starlight's glare, he lowered his voice to nearly a whisper. "That's amazing!"
"No," Starlight spat, "it's awful!"
"But why?" he asked confusedly. "Doesn't this make you a princess, like Twilight?"
"Yes, and that's exactly the problem!" Starlight snapped. "Me, who dedicated her life to helping ponies live as equals—and admittedly I made some mistakes along the way, but—how can I be a princess? Am I supposed to live in a magical castle like Twilight, having ponies bow to me while I tell them that they're all just as good as anypony else? How the hay is that supposed to work?" Her breathing was getting very fast and she was shaking where she stood, sure signs of an impending anxiety attack. "Of all the ponies in all of Equestria, why me?!" she wailed. She cut off with a muffled gasp as Party Favor drew her into a tight hug.
"Hey," he said quietly, "we'll figure something out. Don't you worry. I won't tell anypony, and you don't have to do anything that you don't want to." He held her close for a few seconds until her trembling stopped. Then he saw the look on her face and quickly backpedaled.
"Right, you and hugs, not good," he stammered nervously. "Sorry. Won't happen again."
Starlight took a deep breath in and let it out as a heavy sigh. "It's okay," she said. They stood in silence for a short while, then Starlight magicked her vest back over to her. "Well. Um. That's what I wanted to tell you. I guess I'll be heading back home."
"Right," Party Favor answered. He looked like he was deciding whether or not to say something more. He must have decided to, for he continued, "If there's anything more I can do to help, let me know."
Starlight paused in putting her vest on. She was actually rather touched by the gesture.
"Not right now," she said, "but the others in town are going to find out sooner or later. I'd rather they find out on my terms. I'm going to need your help with that."
"Sure," he answered. "Just tell me what to do."
Starlight nodded gratefully. "I will."
Immensely relieved that the meeting had gone so well, Starlight buttoned up her vest and left the building.
"Well. Here we are," Night Glider said, awkwardly and unnecessarily. The single road through the town stretched out before them, leading past the two rows of buildings and up to the slightly larger house where Starlight Glimmer had once lived.
"Yeah," Twilight answered, equally uncomfortable. A couple of the ponies had already spotted her, and a wave of hushed conversation was spreading through the town. Clearly they knew about her and Starlight. As Twilight watched, Sugar Belle stepped away from her bakery and walked toward a building that Twilight knew all too well; it was the one where she and her friends had been imprisoned when they'd first visited this place. Sugar Belle was trying to be surreptitious, but the road was broad and open and there was nothing for her to hide behind.
"Starlight's staying there? Twilight whispered to Night Glider.
"Yeah," she answered. "It was the only open house."
The two were silent for a minute. Twilight was reluctant to go any further, even though this was why she'd come. Knowing where Starlight was, and how close, made what she was about to do seem dreadfully real.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Night Glider asked.
Twilight took a deep breath. "Thank you," she said, "but no. This is between me and Starlight Glimmer. This is something I have to do myself."
"Sure," Night Glider replied. "Come find me when you're done. We'll get a muffin before you go."
Twilight swallowed hard. With the way her stomach was twisting, she wasn't sure she'd ever want to eat again.
Night glider laid a hoof gently on her shoulder. "Hey," she said. "It'll be okay. Do what you've gotta do, and whatever happens, at least it'll be done."
"You're right," Twilight sighed. "Okay, I'm going. Thank you for your help these last couple of days. It really meant a lot."
"Sure thing." She scuffed a hoof, not really knowing what else to say. "Well. Uh, good luck."
In spite of herself, Twilight chuckled. She didn't think luck would have much to do with it.
Starlight flung her door open before Twilight even reached it, and had the small satisfaction of seeing her jump back in surprise. While Starlight's anger had cooled down a bit from white-hot, there was still nopony in Equestria that she wanted to see less. Sugar Belle awkwardly crept out from behind her and squeezed past Twilight Sparkle with an apologetic look.
"Starlight..." Twilight began.
"Inside," Starlight interrupted her.
She stepped in far enough to make room for her former teacher, then closed the door behind them and locked it with a spell to make sure they wouldn't be interrupted. With that done, Starlight took off her vest to reveal the wings she hated. She hung up the vest on a hook on the wall, then turned to look at Twilight.
"I assume you're here because you have a way to fix this?" Starlight unfolded her wings. "Because if not, you have nothing to say to me."
Starlight felt a pang of something resembling guilt at the pained look on Twilight's face, but it was quickly burned away by anger.
"We can fix it," Twilight answered. "Together. Just not in the way you'd hoped."
Starlight narrowed her eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Starlight, there's no way to reverse an ascension," Twilight explained. "I've looked everywhere. Rarity and I went through every book in the castle. Even Celestia doesn't think it's possible."
Twilight nodded, too afraid of saying the wrong thing to speak.
"And what happens if she announces that there's another princess in Equestria?!" Starlight shouted. "You told the worst possible pony!"
Twilight's eyes flashed. "Celestia wouldn't do that!" she fired back. "She knows because I asked for her help, and I also asked her not to tell anyone else until you decided you were ready! I know you don't trust me right now, but if there's anypony in Equestria that you can trust, it's Princess Celestia."
Starlight exhaled angrily. "Okay, okay. So you went to Celestia for help. And?"
"And..." Twilight shook her head. "It's impossible. It would take magic stronger than Harmony itself."
Starlight's head and wings drooped. She hadn't really expected Twilight to have an answer, but some small part of her had hoped. "If you have nothing to tell me, then why did you come?" she muttered.
"Because," Twilight answered softly, "I'm not here to talk. I'm here to listen."
"You don't want to hear what I'm thinking right now," Starlight snapped.
Twilight flinched, but held her ground. "Yes, I do," she insisted. "I want to hear whatever you need to say."
Starlight Glimmer clenched her jaw and swallowed the onslaught of curse words that threatened to come out. She wasn't quite sure why she didn't let loose, but something stopped her. Maybe it was because, in spite of everything, it was still Twilight. She might have ruined Starlight's life... but only after she'd saved it.
"I can't be this," Starlight said, much more calmly than she'd expected to. She gestured back to her wings. "This is the exact opposite of who I am."
"Starlight, this is who you are—"
Starlight cut her off with a glare. "I thought you were here to listen."
Twilight ducked her head. "I am. I'm sorry."
"You forced something on me that I'd never have accepted if I'd known," Starlight continued. She held up a hoof to stop Twilight from speaking, though the other pony hadn't made any move to open her mouth. "Maybe you didn't mean for me to become an alicorn, but I did. Because of you. Sooner or later ponies are going to find out, and then I'm going to be a princess like you and Celestia." She was speaking more and more quickly as the things she'd held back came boiling up. "I'll be telling other ponies what to do again, and this time I won't even be pretending to be their equal. I can't escape it forever, and I can never go back to how things were. Never."
When Starlight didn't speak for a few seconds, Twilight took a small step toward her. "May I say something?"
Starlight exhaled heavily. "Sure."
"When I said we could fix things, I meant it," Twilight said. "You'll always be an alicorn, but you don't have to be a princess. You can be whatever you want, and ponies will accept you as you are. I'm sure of it."
Angry as she was, Starlight had to acknowledge that Twilight had a point. "Two ponies know," she admitted. "Sugar Belle and Party Favor."
"And how did they react?" Twilight asked eagerly.
"They were surprised, but... I asked them to keep it a secret, and so far they have. They haven't really been treating me any differently," she answered.
"See?" Twilight said. "Your friends are still your friends. A pair of wings won't change that."
Party Favor was more terrified of her than friendly, but that was beside the point. "Won't they?" Starlight demanded. "Even if I never put on a crown, which I won't, everypony will still think that I'm somehow more than them."
"Starlight..." Twilight started hesitantly.
"What?" Starlight snapped.
"Um." You've come this far, Twilight. Just ask. "Are you... afraid of being in charge again?"
Starlight turned her head and eyed Twilight. "What are you talking about?" she asked. "I don't want to be—I'm not—more important than anypony else. That doesn't mean I'm scared!"
"You've been running ever since your ascension," Twilight answered. "I came here to listen, Starlight, but I can't do that if you don't tell me what's really going on. What are you so afraid of?"
Starlight's eyes narrowed, and Twilight immediately knew she'd pushed too hard. "I'm not afraid of anything," she spat. "I'm angry, and hurt, and confused. Everything has changed, I don't know what happens next, but I know it's nothing that I want. I'm the living embodiment of what I've spent my life fighting against! And you did this to me."
That last sentence hit like one of Applejack's kicks. Her ears drooped and she lowered her head. "I know," she said quietly, "and I'm so sorry."
"You're sorry," Starlight mocked her.
"I am," Twilight whispered. "I know it doesn't fix anything, but I am."
Starlight snorted. "No," she answered, "it doesn't fix anything." Her horn lit up as she used her magic to float her vest back over to her. She slipped into it, then broke the locking spell on the door using more power than was needed. It resulted in the door banging open noisily. "We're done here. Get out."
Fighting back tears, Twilight did as she was told.
Night Glider hadn't realized that a knock could sound despondent, but this one did. It was soft and slow, as if the pony knocking didn't quite have the strength to do it properly. She crossed to the door with a sinking feeling in her stomach, and her fears were confirmed when she opened it.
Twilight looked awful. Her eyes were red-rimmed and sunken, her lowered head not quite hiding the tear stains underneath. Her tail was dragging through the dirt, kicking up dust that settled into her fur. She looked like she'd aged years in the minutes she'd been with Starlight.
Night Glider didn't need to ask what had happened. She simply drew Twilight inside and folded her into a tight hug.
"Starlight?" a hesitant voice called from outside, followed by a quiet knock. "Are you in there?"
Starlight bit back an angry retort and took a deep breath. "Of course I'm here, Sugar Belle," she called back in a more measured tone. "Where the hoof else would I be?" Maybe not that measured.
The door opened slowly. When Starlight didn't shout at her to leave, Sugar Belle stepped inside. "I saw Twilight leave. What... what happened?"
Starlight huffed and used her magic to pull the door closed. "She thought she could spout some friendship lesson and fix everything. She couldn't."
"What did she say?" Sugar Belle asked.
Starlight rolled her eyes. "That ponies would accept me as I am, that my wings wouldn't change anything, that I don't have to do anything I don't want to do, yada yada yada. And then," Starlight snapped, "she asked me if I was scared!" The more she thought about that, the angrier she got. "I'm not scared, I'm mad! What the hay would I be afraid of?"
"It's a big change," Sugar Belle answered. "It'd be normal to be kind of scared."
"I'm not scared!" Starlight practically shouted.
"Okay, okay, you're not scared!" Sugar Belle squeaked, holding up her hooves as if to ward off an attack. "Only..."
"Only what?" Starlight asked exasperatedly. It seemed like everypony was just here to test her patience today.
"Only, well, you said once that you didn't want to make the same mistakes again. Not that I think you would! Just, I could see how being a princess would be a scary idea for you, being in charge of other ponies again. I mean, it might bring up bad memories, that's all I was thinking!" She was nearly whimpering by the time she finished speaking.
Starlight growled, started to respond, and stopped. She tried again but the words still couldn't make it past the anger and frustration locking her jaw shut. Finally, with an aggravated yell, she teleported away and left Sugar Belle alone in the jail-turned-house. She wanted to find someplace private, which sure as Tartarus wasn't here.
Starlight Glimmer reappeared a short distance outside of town and stomped off into the surrounding hills. I'm not scared, she privately fumed. Was she? No, of course not. How dare Twilight bring that up? How dare Twilight even come here! What did Starlight have to be afraid of? Nothing.
Well, nothing except a possibly-eternal life of standing above other ponies, telling them what to do, keeping them in line—
No! She bit off that line of thought before it could go too far. She wasn't that pony anymore. She wasn't a tyrant. She was just a rightfully angry pony trying to come to terms with her new life. Or, well, maybe she wasn't really trying to come to terms with it. In fact, she'd done everything possible to avoid coming to terms with it, hadn't she?
She moodily kicked at a pebble and watched it skitter away. What was there to come to terms with? She, who was so committed to equality, couldn't possibly come to terms with alicornhood. She might as well ask a bird to come to terms with being a seapony.
Only, she didn't have much choice, did she? Unless she wanted to spend the rest of her life living a lie—a lie that would get uncovered sooner or later—she had to accept it. There was no sense in worrying over something she couldn't change. So what was she afraid of?
Gah! I'm not afraid!
She sat down heavily while her thoughts ran in useless circles. She dug a hoof aimlessly into the dirt, wondering how her seemingly-perfect life had once again gone so far off the rails. For a moment she came dangerously close to wishing that she could go back to being Twilight's student, that things could go back to the way they were before she had these wings. Had that really only been a couple of weeks ago? It felt like a different lifetime. In some ways, she supposed, it was.
Finally, frustrated at her own brooding, she snapped herself out of it with an irritated shake of her head. Obviously running and hiding wasn't the answer here, and neither was driving herself crazy with impossibilities. Only, every option she saw was impossible: reversing the transformation, pretending to still be a unicorn, and embracing her new self. Nothing was acceptable.
Starlight sighed. For better or worse, she had been the Princess of Friendship's student. One of the first lessons she'd learned from Twilight was how to ask for help, and if she'd ever needed help, she needed it now. But not from Twilight Sparkle.
Starlight charged her horn with magic and prepared a long-range messaging spell, something she'd discovered when she got sick of borrowing Spike to send letters. It allowed her to talk to somepony else as if they were standing next to each other. She knew exactly the pony she needed to talk to: one who was an expert on alicorns, princesses, and Twilight Sparkle. One who already knew about Starlight's situation.
"Princess Celestia?"
A pulse of magic went out from her horn, seeking its target and attempting to connect the two of them. Starlight waited impatiently for the short time it took to get there, then let out a breath she didn't know she was holding when she felt an answering pulse.
"Starlight Glimmer," Celestia's elegant voice carried a hint of surprise. "I was not expecting to hear from you. Certainly not in this manner."
"Sorry I can't make it to court, Canterlot is kind of far away," Starlight answered. "I, uh, I have a favor to ask. Can we talk privately?"
Celestia chuckled. "I assure you, we won't be disturbed." Her voice was accompanied by the sound of splashing water and... was that a rubber duck? "What would you like to talk about?"
Starlight flushed as she realized that she had interrupted the royal bath. She cleared her throat. "So," she began awkwardly, "I'm a princess now, huh?"
"Technically, no, you haven't been crowned," Celestia replied. "But you have earned the right to be."
"By becoming an alicorn."
"That's right."
"Why?" Starlight asked bluntly. "What do wings have to do with ruling Equestria?" She twitched her own wings as she said it. They were stiff and weak from lack of use.
"It is not about the wings, it is about what the ascension represents," Celestia answered. "Didn't Twilight explain it to you?"
Starlight swallowed hard. That question seemed a little too pointed. "She... she tried," Starlight admitted. "But I wanted to hear your take on it."
It wasn't much of a recovery, but thankfully Celestia didn't press the matter. Instead she hummed thoughtfully.
"I would say," Celestia said after a moment, "that an alicorn is a pony who has fully realized her destiny. Your ascension is a sign that you were completely in tune with Harmony, if only for a moment."
"What does that even mean?" Starlight asked in frustration. "What exactly is Harmony?"
"Nopony understands it perfectly," Celestia said, "but Harmony is like the guiding force for all of Equestria. It makes sure that everything happens as it should. We believe that everything from ponies' destinies to their names are influenced by it. The map in Twilight's castle is an instrument of Harmony and, if you embrace your new role, you will be one too."
"And that means I should have a castle, and servants, and... and all that royal stuff?" Starlight asked skeptically.
Celestia was silent for a minute, and Starlight worried that she'd gone too far. Finally the princess of the sun answered her, though not in a way she'd expected.
"Let me ask you a question, Starlight Glimmer," Celestia said. "Do you believe that my sister and I should not have this—" she chuckled, "royal stuff?"
Did she think that? Starlight couldn't picture herself having her own castle, but somehow she couldn't picture Celestia and Luna without one. "No," she answered slowly, "I guess not."
"And why is that?" Celestia asked. "Don't those royal trappings make us unequal to other ponies?"
But you aren't equal to other ponies. That's what Starlight wanted to say, but it didn't get to the heart of the matter. "Well, you're certainly richer than a lot of ponies," she said. "Most of us don't live in castles and have golden horseshoes."
"That's true," Celestia said, "we have more wealth than some. But then there are others who have more money still, or who own more land than we do, or whose skills in some areas surpass ours. Does that mean we are inherently better or worse than they are? Do we seem to hold ourselves above the rest of the world?"
Starlight scuffed a hoof uncomfortably. "Not really," she admitted. "Honestly, I was surprised at how down-to-Equestria you both were. Some of the nobles have their noses way higher in the air than the two of you do. Besides, equality is different from sameness; I realized that a long time ago."
"Yes, and it was a wonderful lesson to learn," Celestia replied warmly. "Now you have to apply it. If it's not the wings or the gold, what is it about being a princess that is making you so uncomfortable? What makes you feel unequal?"
"Well, it's right in the title!" Starlight answered. "A princess is someone who rules over other ponies. It's not about the stuff that you have, it's just who you are. Luna, too. Ponies bow to you wherever you go, and do whatever you say. If I accept my role as a princess, then by definition I won't be equal anymore. I'll be... well, I'll be like you."
"Would that be a bad thing?" Celestia asked.
Starlight exhaled heavily. She hadn't meant to imply that, just... "It's not right. It's not who I am."
There was a thoughtful silence before Celestia spoke again.
"Starlight Glimmer," she said, "I am sorry to bring up a painful memory, but I'd like you to think back to when you ran your town."
Starlight's chest tightened. She had to clear her throat before she could speak again. "Why?" she croaked. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Everything, I think," Celestia replied. "You founded that town because you thought you could make ponies' lives better."
"Yeah," Starlight answered flatly, "and look how that turned out."
"Your methods were... flawed, yes, but your reasons were good. You thought you knew of a way to help ponies, to make them happier and to keep them from fighting. And you did. You brought ponies together from all over Equestria to create something brand new, something that still exists today. You have a natural gift for leadership, Starlight Glimmer."
"I was a tyrant and a bully," Starlight said bitterly. "That's supposed to be a gift?"
"As I see it, you had two major problems back then," Celestia said. "You've already fixed the first by understanding the difference between being equal and being identical."
"And what's the second?" Starlight sneered. "Realizing that I shouldn't mind-control ponies into doing what I think they should do? I've had that one come up a few times already."
Celestia laughed. "Something like that, yes. I was simply going to say that leadership often requires a gentle touch. You hadn't yet learned to guide others to your vision instead of forcing them to it."
"Okay, fine," Starlight answered. "I see your point, but why bring it up now?"
"What do you think a princess does?" Celestia asked. "All we do is guide our subjects. We are not above them; we are merely in front of them."
"In front of them?" Starlight repeated. There was something to that image, something she couldn't quite grasp. A seed of an idea, a spark that needed a bit of kindling.
"Yes," Celestia said. "We lead the way, but do not force anyone to follow. We look ahead and try to choose the best path for our charges. And, if need be, we are the first to face anything that may try to hurt them."
Stand in front of them... It was like a torch flaring up in Starlight's mind. In front of them!
A leader wasn't necessarily better than anyone else. She wasn't somehow more than other ponies, she was just someone who knew where they needed to go. She had pictured herself standing up on some grand pedestal, ruling from on high while ponies cowered at her hooves, but that wasn't right. That was the old Starlight's way. She only needed to stand ahead of others; in front of them, not over them. And her wings... well, her wings were just a symbol, just another bit of royal stuff. They didn't make her any better than anyone else, they just showed that she'd caught a glimpse of what Harmony had in store.
That torch in her mind seemed to be moving into her chest, filling it with a warmth that spread all the way down to her hooves. She pranced a few steps, something she hadn't done since she was a filly. It could work!
"I'm afraid I have to go, Starlight Glimmer," Celestia said. "I have a meeting I must attend soon, and my attendants will be wondering if I've drowned in here."
Starlight giggled at the mental image of a waterlogged Celestia. She hadn't giggled in what felt like years. "Okay," she practically chirped. She felt nearly drunk with the joy of realizing that her life wasn't over, that she could be this pony and still be herself. Then the warmth inside her died down a bit as she realized something.
"Actually..." she said more soberly, "I have somepony I need to meet with, too."
There was a knock at the door. Twilight, who was seated at the small table in Night Glider's dining room, sniffled and raised her head at the sound. She wondered who it could be. Some part of her hoped that, somehow, Starlight Glimmer had decided to talk after all, but given how they left things that seemed very unlikely. Twilight wiped her eyes so she could see Night Glider walking over to get the door.
Night Glider opened the door and looked out. Twilight couldn't see who was there with the pegasus standing in front of it, and neither pony was saying anything. She wondered if she should excuse herself so Night Glider could entertain her new guest.
Night Glider looked back at her. "Hey Twilight," she said uncomfortably, "it's for you."
Twilight sniffled again. "For me?" she repeated.
"Yeah," Night Glider answered. "I'll be right back, I have to go, uh, generic excuse." She stepped outside past the pony at the door, allowing Twilight to see the newcomer. Twilight immediately rose to her hooves.
Starlight Glimmer walked in and closed the door behind her, leaving the two of them alone. She sized up Twilight for a moment, then glanced back toward the door and the pegasus behind it.
"Did she just say 'generic excuse?'" Starlight asked.
The two alicorns met each others' eyes, then broke out laughing. It felt so good to finally laugh that neither one wanted to stop, but eventually they trailed off and lapsed back into an uncomfortable silence. Starlight was the one to break it.
"So, I talked to Princess Celestia—"
Twilight nearly swallowed her tongue. "You what? How?"
"Long-range communication spell," Starlight answered. "I got sick of asking Spike to send letters for me, so I researched it."
"So you just have a direct line to Princess Celestia now?!" She shouldn't be surprised anymore by Starlight's audacity, but she just couldn't imagine anypony having the nerve to intrude on Celestia like that.
"Well, to anypony with a horn, but yeah," Starlight replied. "Do you want to know what she said or not?"
Twilight's eye twitched, but she managed to calm herself enough to answer. "Yes. Please."
"She said... well, she basically said that I should have listened to you." Starlight tried to smile, but it didn't work very well. "It turns out that saying I hated you and running away wasn't the right way to handle this. Who'd have thought?" She laughed nervously.
"You never said that you hated me," Twilight noted.
"Oh! Uh." Starlight held her rigid smile, but her eyes darted nervously around the room. She cleared her throat loudly and continued.
"Anyway, Celestia told me that I was thinking about this princess stuff all wrong. She said that a princess's job is really to lead the way, not just to tell other ponies what to do. She said we're supposed to stand in front of them, not over them, and I guess I hadn't thought of it like that before."
A comforting warmth grew in Twilight's chest. "You said 'we,'" she said with a smile.
Starlight's own smile softened and became more genuine. "Yeah, I guess I did," she replied.
"Does that mean you want to be a princess after all?" Twilight asked, hoping that she wasn't pushing too hard.
Starlight's smile faded, but she didn't look angry, merely thoughtful. "Maybe," she said. "Celestia was talking about how all the stuff that ponies associate with princesses—the wings, the crowns, and all that—is just... well, stuff. That none of it has to change who you are as a pony."
"Of course it doesn't," Twilight reassured her. "You've been my student for a year now. Does it seem like I define myself by my wings, or the stuff that I have?"
"No," Starlight admitted, "but other ponies certainly do."
"I know, and I wish they wouldn't," Twilight said. "But I realized a long time ago that I can't always control what others think of me. All I can do is be the best leader and the best friend that I can."
"But aren't crowns and thrones and everything designed to change how ponies think of you?" Starlight asked.
"In a way, I guess," Twilight said, "but I think of it more like a uniform. A mailpony wears a hat and pulls a cart while she's on the job; a princess wears a crown and sits in a throne. It tells everyone else what my job is, but the crown itself is nothing but a shiny hat."
"I see what you're saying. I think," Starlight replied. She pawed at the floor. "I'd like to talk this over some more before I agree to get a shiny hat of my own, though. Do you think we could continue this discussion later?" She looked up hopefully. "In Ponyville?"
"Of course!" Twilight tried to say, but she was getting choked up and it came out as more of a happy squeak. She had to settle for a nod and a smile.
"Great! So. Uh..." Starlight walked a couple of steps closer and held up a foreleg uncertainly.
Twilight practically sprinted the short distance between them and hugged her. She wiped her eyes, trying not to mess up Starlight's coat as the tears started flowing again. "I'm sorry I didn't prepare you better for your ascension," she managed to say. "I didn't do a very good job as your teacher."
Starlight squeezed her a little more tightly. "I ascended because you were my teacher," she answered. "I'm sorry that I didn't deal with it better. When I first saw my wings, it was like I just forgot every lesson you'd ever taught me. I guess I wasn't a very good student."
"Well, there'll be plenty of time for both of us to learn more," Twilight replied. She finally let go of her student—her friend—and stepped back. "Are you ready to go back?"
"Not quite. There's one more thing I need to do here first."
"Thank you for doing this," Starlight whispered. She was wearing her ever-present gray vest and standing on a raised wooden platform near Party Favor's house—her old house—at the head of the town. The crowd in front of her was small, but still consisted of nearly the entire population of her small, nameless town. Twilight Sparkle stood by the side of the platform, showing by her presence that she supported what Starlight was doing but not trying to take attention away from her. "How'd you do it?"
Party Favor laughed nervously. "Well, you know how it is around here." He waved a hoof dismissively. "Not a lot goes on, so when our former leader says she has a big announcement to make, everyone gets curious about it." In spite of what he said, he looked more scared than interested. "Are you sure you want to do this so soon?"
"I'm sure," she answered. "Everypony here has been so good to me. They deserve to know the truth before I leave again."
"Alright then." A couple more ponies had joined the crowd, and there didn't seem to be any more coming. "Well, I'd say it's time."
Starlight gulped and nodded. She walked past him and took her place at the center of the platform. She cleared her throat uncertainly. "Thank you all for coming on such short notice," she began, pitching her voice to carry over the low murmuring. "I promise I won't take too much of your time."
The gathered ponies quieted down and waited expectantly. They wondered what she had to say after spending so long barely speaking to them at all.
"I came back to this town because..." she cast about for the right words. "Well, something happened, and I didn't handle it well. At all. You all let me come back to this town and live with you again, and I know I haven't been the easiest pony to live with lately."
"We've had worse!" someone called from the crowd before being firmly shushed.
"Haha. Yeah, I guess you have," Starlight said dryly. "Anyway, I'll be leaving soon to go back to Ponyville, but before I do, I thought you deserved to know what this was all about. It's something that all of Equestria will probably know soon enough; but I want my hometown, and my friends, to be the first."
Starlight's horn glowed as she telekinetically undid the buttons on her vest.
"This is the secret that I've been hiding," she said as she worked. "This is why I kept myself shut up in my house, and why I've hardly talked to you since I've been here. I was afraid of ponies finding out, but in running and hiding I've just caused everyone more pain." She looked significantly over to Twilight. "And I'm sorry for that."
The last button came undone. She carefully pulled her forelegs out of it and used her magic to lift it away. "What I've been hiding is..."
Starlight lifted her head high and spread out her wings. "These."
The crowd stared at her, utter shock written across almost every face. Sugar Belle, the only one who had known what was coming, was instead smiling from ear to ear. When it became clear that Starlight was done speaking, she clapped her hooves together. First one, then three, then a dozen ponies joined her in acknowledging both Starlight's accomplishment and her courage in finally sharing her secret.
As Starlight and Twilight shared a relieved glance, stupefied silence gave way to resounding applause.
For the first time in what felt like ages, though it had really only been a couple of weeks, seven ponies and a young dragon sat around the map in Twilight's castle. Pinkie Pie, of course, had wanted to throw a massive party and invite everyone in Ponyville, but Twilight had managed to convince her to keep things quiet and private, at least for now. Therefore, only eight teacups sat on the table around a two-tiered cake with light purple frosting that matched Starlight Glimmer's coat. A banner reading "Welcome Home, Starlight!" hung from the rafters. Starlight had just finished explaining her conversations with Celestia and Twilight, and how she had decided to stop running from her new life as an alicorn.
"So... that's it, really," Starlight said sheepishly. "I'm back. Sorry that I made all of you worry."
"Both of us could have handled things better," Twilight said, "and I think that we both will in the future."
"We all will," Rainbow Dash promised.
The next minute or so was quiet except for the gentle clinks of teacups as the eight friends simply enjoyed each others' company with no need for words. Finally, Applejack broke the silence.
"So, if ya don't mind me askin'," she said to Starlight, "does this mean that you're gonna be a princess like Twilight?"
"I haven't really decided yet," Starlight answered. "I want to take this one step at a time. The first thing I'll need to do is just let everypony know that I have these." She flared her wings out. "I guess we'll figure it out from there."
"That will raise some questions," Rarity pointed out. "As far as most ponies are concerned, alicorns are princesses, and vice-versa."
"Well, they might just have to adjust their thinking," Twilight said. "We can handle whatever questions and concerns they'll have."
That seemed to satisfy Rarity, and another peaceful silence settled on the room.
"Okay," Rainbow Dash abruptly broke it, "but if you do decide to be a princess, what would you want to be the princess of?"
"Rainbow Dash," Twilight scolded her," Starlight just said that she wasn't even sure she wanted to be a princess at all! Besides, I was a princess for a long time before I found my place. She doesn't need to decide that now."
"It's alright," Starlight said. "I've actually been thinking about that a lot. Even though I wasn't sure I wanted to." She laughed nervously. "But it's obvious, really. I'd have to be the Princess of Equality!"
The silence was distinctly uncomfortable this time, with many sidelong glances as the others thought about what happened the last time Starlight tried to enforce equality. Luckily, Starlight was taking a contented sip of tea and didn't seem to notice.
"What do you mean?" Spike bluntly voiced what they were all thinking. "Like, what would a Princess of Equality do?"
"I haven't worked out the details yet," Starlight admitted, "but I'd be teaching ponies about treating each other fairly. I'd be helping them to realize that nopony is better or worse than anyone else. I'm thinking I'll help out with farming and stuff too. I mean, imagine seeing an alicorn getting her hooves dirty! That alone would get ponies talking about who's better than who."
"And what's wrong with gettin' yer hooves dirty?" Applejack demanded.
"Wha—nothing!" Starlight held up her hooves to calm the farmpony. "That's the point, I need to show that farmers are just as important as the nobility in Canterlot, and should be respected the same way."
"Well, alright then." Applejack seemed mollified by that explanation. "Gotta admit, it'd sure be somethin' to have a princess out buckin' apples with me."
"Well, yeah, but I'll only be a princess if I decide to let Celestia crown me. I've been wondering if it would be better not to take the title of princess, to show that what kind of pony I am doesn't have to decide what I do. On the other hoof, that would mean that I couldn't show everyone a princess out working in the fields or whatever." Starlight said, then sighed. "I don't know yet. There's still a lot to think about."
"Yes, there is," Twilight agreed, "but I'm glad that you've decided to think it over here in Ponyville."
"Me too." Starlight gave her a smile. "I've been thinking, and I should have realized that things didn't actually start going wrong when I got these wings. They started going wrong when I ran away from my friends." She looked around at the table with happy tears welling up in her eyes. "Whatever happens next, I won't make that mistake again."
The others crowded around Starlight. Eight friends enjoyed one warm, fluffy hug.
Starlight Glimmer again stood in front of a crowd of ponies, courtesy of Pinkie Pie rounding up nearly everyone in Ponyville. This time she stood on the steps of Twilight's castle, with her friends lined up behind her, and she wouldn't have had it any other way. She was wearing her gray vest once more—hopefully only once more. In spite of how important this was, she didn't even feel all that nervous. She'd reconciled with Twilight and the others, and she knew that together they could handle anything.
"Hi, everypony." Starlight's voice carried easily thanks to an amplification spell that was basically a toned-down version of the Royal Canterlot Voice. "I'm Starlight Glimmer. Though I guess most of you already know that," she added with an embarrassed laugh. "Sorry, this is a bit of a test run for me."
"What's going on, Starlight?" Scootaloo asked from near the front of the audience.
"Well, uh, I've got something that I need to tell everypony. And I mean everypony. The thing is, I'm not sure how well everyone's going to take it."
"Well, ya might as well git on with it," an especially crotchety Granny Smith called out. Pinkie Pie had interrupted her nap to bring her here. "Ain't no sense in pussyhoofin' around if you're just gonna tell us all anyway!"
"Haha, yeah, I guess you're right," Starlight said. "Alright." Her horn glowed and threads of magic wove themselves into the gray vest she wore. With a burst of power she reduced the garment to ashes and sent them blowing away. "I have two things to tell everyone. The first... is that I've followed in Princess Twilight's hoofsteps." She spread out her wings and was rewarded with loud gasps and whispers that quickly spread through the crowd. "I could never have done it without her, and without all of you. Thank you all for welcoming me to your village, and for helping me to understand the magic of friendship."
"The second thing," she said, interrupting several ponies who had started to bow to her, "is that I am not taking the title of princess."
More gasps and whispers, this time of confusion instead of awe.
"I'm not ready to be Princess Starlight Glimmer." Her magically enhanced voice easily cut through the chatter. "Maybe I never will be. Maybe I can do what I need to do better if I just stay as regular old Starlight; wings and all." She folded those wings up against her sides again and went into the next part of her speech.
"I've never given up on my goal of creating an Equestria where we can all be respected and treated as equals. At first I thought that my ascension would be the end of that dream. How could I stand there as an alicorn and tell everyone that I'm no better than them? But thanks to some good friends, and some good advice, I've realized that I can do exactly that. So, I will be an alicorn, but I won't be a princess. I'll be just another pony doing her best to make Equestria a better place."
Starlight finished speaking and let the spell amplifying her voice fade away. She stood there with her heart in her throat, waiting to see what kind of reaction her unorthodox decision would get.
She had nothing to worry about. The shock on everypony's face quickly passed and turned to wide smiles and loud cheers. Starlight breathed a loud sigh of relief and turned back to face her friends, who were beaming more brightly than anypony.
"Well, how'd I do?" Starlight asked a bit breathlessly.
"Your introduction could use a little work," Twilight teased her, "but that was—"
"Awesome!" Rainbow Dash cut in.
"We're really proud of you," Fluttershy added. "It's not easy to go against everyone's expectations like that."
"Yes, yes, but..." Rarity had a strangely pained expression on her face. "You're not going to destroy a vest every time you make that speech, are you?"
Starlight chuckled. "No, that was a one-time thing," she answered. "I guess it was my way of promising myself that I wasn't going to hide anymore. Plus I was really sick of it." She started laughing, and was soon joined by the others.
"Starlight?" a pony with a gentle drawl said from behind her. Starlight turned around to see Apple Bloom there, looking at her with the kind of open earnestness that only a foal could manage. "Big Mac an' Granny Smith just wanted me to tell ya that we're behind ya, no matter what you end up callin' yourself."
"Eeyup," her older brother agreed.
"Us too!" Mr. Cake called out from behind them. "I don't know what they'll make of you up in Canterlot, but here in Ponyville we're with you all the way!"
"Carrot!" His wife nudged him hard. "Don't bring that up now."
"It's okay," Starlight answered, "I know that Canterlot is going to be a bit of a harder sell. I appreciate the support."
That support was only the beginning, though. It seemed like everyone in Ponyville wanted to shake her hoof and congratulate her, both on her ascension and on her decision to stay as a commoner. It should have been exhausting, but through it all Starlight felt a sense of warmth and peace that seemed to rejuvenate her. She didn't need to ask the Princess of Friendship to know what she was experiencing, and she didn't need to be the Princess of Equality to know that she could spread that feeling across Equestria. These ponies loved and respected her for who she was, and that was all that anypony needed.
And for the first time since she became an alicorn, Starlight knew that everything would be okay.
