> One Small Step
>  by Benman
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Lodestar cracked open the heavy wooden door and paused to calm her nerves. Working directly for Princess Luna was a big promotion. Lodestar took a moment to dispel idle thoughts of hobnobbing with the rich and famous at the princess’s side, squared her shoulders, then pushed the door wide open. A wave of hot air flowed out, catching her loose mane and brushing the pure white strands back against her dark gray coat.
She entered the workshop beyond, carefully stepping over the unfamiliar tools strewn about. “Hello, Your Highness?” she called. “Radiance directed me here. My name is Lodestar. I’m to be your new attendant.”  In the center of the workshop sat a furnace which bathed the room in a fiery glare. The light made Lodestar’s cutie mark, a tiny four-pointed star, appear a pale red-orange rather than its usual white.
In front of the furnace, Her Royal Highness Princess Luna of Equestria stood facing away from Lodestar. The princess’s horn glowed faintly with power as she concentrated upon some spell. If she had noticed Lodestar’s arrival, she gave no sign of it.
Lodestar approached close enough to see that the princess was holding a long blowpipe in one hoof and examining a red-hot bubble of glass on its end. Her pale blue mane shone with beads of sweat that reflected the hot glare of the furnace and the softer shine of her horn’s magic.
She tried again. “Excuse me, Your Highness. My name is Lodestar. I’m−”
“Indeed. We heard thee the first time,” said the princess without looking up. “Well met.” She returned the glass to the heat of the furnace.
Lodestar stood quietly in the workshop’s stuffy heat. When it became apparent that Princess Luna had nothing else to say, Lodestar asked, “Is there anything I can do for you, Your Highness? Stoke the fire, maybe?”
“This is no fire,” said Princess Luna.
Lodestar looked closely at the furnace. No smoke rose from within, she saw, and the glow that poured forth was too steady to be any natural flame. “But then… what?”
“A simple spell,” said the princess. She still had not so much as glanced at Lodestar. “Our magic heats the furnace itself, without combustion or any such crude methods. The barest change in temperature can affect the work, and no mere fire is so reliable. And as thou wilt surely ask, yes, we could simply heat the glass itself. Yet, altering the glass so grossly would be too easy. Such a thing would not truly be art.”
Lodestar’s eyes darted back and forth between the princess and the furnace. “You mean all the heat in here is from you? You’re keeping that hot enough to melt glass?” The princesses were supposed to be powerful, but this went well beyond that. A talented unicorn could maybe create that much heat for a minute or two before collapsing from exhaustion, but the princess barely seemed to be exerting herself.
“Yes.” The princess peered carefully at her glass bubble inside the furnace, then hissed in displeasure. “Yet still the heat is too irregular! It must be this blasted atmosphere. There is naught else that could interfere. Very well, there is only one thing for it.” Her eyes half-closed in concentration, and the light from her horn flared up, nearly rivaling the furnace for brilliance.
Lodestar reflexively took a step back. “What could you possibly−”
Lodestar couldn’t breathe. In the span of a heartbeat, what air remained rushed out of her lungs, leaving her feeling much like she had sucked down a breath of water. Lodestar was vaguely aware that her whole body hurt, but it paled in comparison to her burning need for oxygen. She tried to inhale, but her heaving chest drew in no air. She tried to scream, but there was no sound−in fact, she couldn’t hear anything at all.
Princess Luna continued to putter about the furnace as though nothing were amiss, completely oblivious to Lodestar’s plight. Whatever was happening to Lodestar, it didn’t seem to affect the princess.
Lodestar felt herself hit the ground. She hadn’t noticed herself falling, but now she was lying flat on her side. Her vision was beginning to blur. In her panic, Lodestar’s only thought was to reach out to somepony−anypony. Desperately, she flailed in Princess Luna’s direction. The princess was slightly out of reach, but although her limbs felt like clumsy sacks of flour, Lodestar managed to drag herself across the floor until she was close enough to grab onto Princess Luna’s back leg.
Princess Luna tensed, then turned to look at Lodestar for the first time. She wore an expression of annoyance that quickly turned to surprise, then just as quickly to horror. The light from her horn vanished, there was a brief but tremendous noise, and Lodestar could breathe again. She sucked in deep, shuddering breaths as she clung to the princess’s leg like a drowning sailor.
“Our sincerest apologies,” said Princess Luna. “It is difficult to remember that other ponies require air.”
With an effort of will, Lodestar tried to speak. “Hhhhhh,” she wheezed.
“Have no fear.” Princess Luna gently tried to pull her leg away, but Lodestar only tightened her grip. “All is well, now.” She tugged her leg again, harder, to no avail. “Thou canst release us.”
As oxygen returned and adrenaline faded, Lodestar began to remember where she was and whose leg she was clamped onto. The pain in the rest of her body, which had seemed trivial compared to her need for air, was starting to become serious. “Of course,” she said between gasps. “Only I’m not certain I can move my hooves.”
“Ah, yes,” said Princess Luna. “The damage from the lack of pressure. No matter, that is simple enough to fix.” Lodestar flinched as a wave of bluish-white light sprang from the princess’s horn and spread outwards. It washed over Lodestar, erasing the pain and fatigue in her muscles as it passed, before it faded into nothingness.
Lodestar quickly peeled herself off of the princess and stood up with a polite grin plastered on her face. “Eheheh, yes, that’s much better. Thank you, Your Highness. Well, I suppose I’ll leave you to your art now that that’s all settled.” Lodestar broke for the door before she even finished talking.
“There is no need,” said Princess Luna. “Thou art most welcome to−” Lodestar didn’t wait around to hear the end of that thought. Instead she slipped out of the workshop and hurried away. Royalty or no, Princess Luna was dangerous. As soon as she thought herself far enough away that Princess Luna wouldn’t hear her hoofbeats, Lodestar broke into a gallop.


“Radiance! Miss Radiance!” Lodestar called when she spotted the palace steward’s distincive chess castle cutie mark in one of the palace’s crowded hallways. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”
The cream-colored earth pony looked over with a frown that stretched her face as tight as the bun that confined her dark green mane. She didn’t slow her swift pace down the hallway. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be attending to Princess Luna. After everything you told me about how thrilled you were to move out of the palace kitchens, I must say I’m surprised to see you.”
Lodestar hurried over to Radiance and fell into step half a pace behind the steward. “I was with the princess, but then−” Lodestar tried to think of a polite way to explain. “Well, she− that is, she nearly suffocated me!”
Radiance frowned. “Mm, yes, the princess does have her little mishaps from time to time. It’s why she goes through attendants so quickly. You should be grateful for that. It’s why you got promoted to your current position.”
“To be blunt, Miss Radiance, I’m no longer certain I want this position. I could have died!”
“Don’t be absurd,” said Radiance. “Princess Luna has never seriously hurt an attendant. Well, except for that time with Dawn Darling, but even princesses slip up now and again. In any case, the thought of you leaving the princess so soon is out of the question. I am responsible for overseeing the entire palace, and I spend far too much of my limited time finding new attendants for Princess Luna as it is. My other duties suffered when I tracked down you to replace the previous attendant, and it will take me some time to catch up before I’ll even consider finding another pony to replace you.”
“I appreciate your difficulty,” said Lodestar, “but I’m afraid I really wouldn’t be comfortable in the princess’s presence anymore.”
“Let me be plain.” Radiance stopped walking, and Lodestar followed suit, forcing everypony else in the hall to squeeze around them. “It is less than a week until the first Grand Galloping Gala since Princess Luna’s return. The event must be perfect, and as such I cannot spare the time to replace you until afterwards. I can’t force you to stay, but if you don’t last at least that long in this position, I’ll see to it that you never work in Canterlot Palace again. I have no need for ponies who completely lack dedication.”
Lodestar’s face fell. “A week? But I could never−”
“On the other hoof,” Radiance continued as though Lodestar hadn’t spoken, “should you last at least a month, you will have proven yourself very valuable indeed. In that case, I would be happy to transfer you to a more appropriate position−say, in Princess Cadence’s personal staff.”
Lodestar swallowed. A position with Cadence would be perfect, but a whole month... “I’ll try,” she said.


“Princess Luna? Are you in here?” Lodestar stepped tentatively across the threshold into the princess’s chambers. The glass furnace had been deserted when Lodestar returned, and this had seemed like the best place to try next. The first room was a richly furnished lounge decorated in dark blues and violets. There were several plush pillows arranged around a pair of fine mahogany tables, a tall bookshelf filled with cracked leather tomes, and a number of abstract sculptures spun from delicate glass. A hallway led deeper into the princess’s suite, but there was no sign of Princess Luna herself.
“This way.” The soft voice came from a half-open door within the hallway. Lodestar hurried over.
The room beyond was dominated by an enormous canopied bed hung with satin curtains. Atop the plush mattress, Princess Luna was sprawled on her back with her head hanging off the edge of the bed. Her pale blue mane cascaded to the floor as she stared upside-down at Lodestar. One of the princess’s back legs kicked idly at the air.
“Ah! Our new attendant!” Princess Luna’s eyes lit up. “We had not expected to see thee again. Few come back, after once fleeing.” She chewed her lip. “We would apologize for asphyxiating thee.” The princess’s face was sober and contrite, although the effect was somewhat spoiled by the fact that she was still upside-down.
“Think nothing of it,” said Lodestar. “It was an accident.” In truth, she wasn’t feeling nearly as forgiving as she acted, but Lodestar saw no reason to antagonize the princess if she was going to be stuck here for a whole week. Princess Luna had nearly killed her out of sheer carelessness, and Lodestar had no desire to see what she would do if she were actually angry. She seemed harmless enough, lying there in a decidedly unprincesslike position, but she had seemed harmless at the furnace, too.
Princess Luna gazed at her wordlessly. When the silence became uncomfortable, Lodestar asked, “Is there anything I can do for you, Your Highness?”
“Not now. Stay close, please.”
Lodestar stood in the doorway, trying not to stare too much. Princess Luna continued lying upside down on her bed. After a few minutes, she stopped kicking. Lodestar kept waiting. The only sounds she heard were the noise of her own breathing and the ticking of the grandfather clock that stood against the far wall. Time passed. Occasionally Princess Luna fidgeted.
When the clock said forty minutes had passed, Princess Luna stood up. Lodestar tensed. The princess stretched, then crawled back onto the bed, on her side this time.
Lodestar kept waiting. This was driving her mad, but she kept an impassive face. A princess wasn’t supposed to do… whatever this was.
After an hour and a half had passed, she couldn’t take it any longer. “Um, excuse me, Your Highness?”
Luna rolled onto her front. “Yes?”
“I’m sorry, Your Highnes, but… what are you doing?”
“Doing? We are doing nothing. Why must ponies here always be doing things?”
Lodestar didn’t know what to say to that, but she had to respond somehow. “Can I get you anything? You’ve been here a while.”
“No. Thou just asked me that.”
“That was over an hour ago, princess.”
Silence reigned. It was half an hour later that Princess Luna spoke up.
“Is that a long time?”
“Er, what, Your Highness?”
“An hour. Is that a long time for a pony to do nothing?”
“I suppose so, Princess.”
“Oh!” The princess sat bolt upright. Lodestar managed to stop herself flinching away before it became too apparent. “Thou art bored, then! We apologize, we forgot about boredom!”
“I… it’s quite alright, Princess. This is my job.”
“Never mind that nonsense! We were rude.” Princess Luna slipped off the bed and began pacing. “We hate being rude! There are simply too many things to remember and every time we get nine things right there is always a tenth thing that remains forgotten and argh ‘tis insufferable!” Princess Luna’s voice rose to a shout, and Lodestar took several hasty steps away, fearing the worst. “All these stupid rules about what a pony can say and what a pony must do until we cannot decide anything at all!” She stopped abruptly and glanced sheepishly at Lodestar. “We fear we are being rude again.”
“Not at all, Your Highness,” Lodestar said automatically. “I suppose that...” She trailed off as she realized she had no soothing lie available.
“Bah. It would appear we cannot even complain properly.” Princess Luna flopped back onto the bed. “We would be alone for a time. Leave us.”


“Hey sis! I heard the big news. A promotion! Congrats!”
Lodestar looked up from her copy of Cantertainment Weekly as a pale yellow unicorn with a cutie mark of a spotlight’s beam strode into their house’s living room. Moonlight caught in his shaggy orange mane as it streamed through the room's oversized windows.
Lodestar was curled up on a small green sofa in front of a hardwood coffee table on which rested a half-finished glass of caberneigh. “Thank you, Sunspot,” she said.
“You look pretty beat.” Sunspot sat down on the far side of the table. “Luna running you ragged?”
Lodestar bit her lip. “I suppose you could say that. Radiance has made it clear that I’m stuck with her for now, though.”
“Well, that’s good, right? I figured you’d be all over this. I mean, she’s a princess! It’s basically like living in one of your Fluttershy magazines, yeah?”
Lodestar sniffed. “I’ll have you know Fluttershy’s been old news for months.”
“Yeah? Let’s see.” Sunspot snatched Lodestar’s magazine from her hoof and began to read. “‘Blossom Orange’s Fashion Fiasco: What She’s Wearing To The Gala And Why She Shouldn’t.’ I swear, these ponies. Somepony should show up to their Gala naked. It’d be worth it to see their faces.”
“Even Princess Celestia couldn’t get away with that.”
“Too bad, that’d be priceless.” Sunspot put down the magazine. “Hey, think you’ll get into the Gala, now that you’re working for a princess?”
Lodestar scooped up the magazine and flipped to a different story. “I’m sure I will. Princess Celestia’s attendants always get in. Even if I’ll be stuck with Princess Luna at the time, getting to see the actual Grand Galloping Gala… it’d be pretty great.”
“Well, I’ll miss going to High Noon’s post-Gala review party thing with you. It’ll be a shame to give up on tradition, but there’s no reason for you to miss the actual after-party for that.”
Lodestar raised an eyebrow. “I thought you hated the Gala-watching scene.”
“Yeah, but I like doing stuff with you. Anyway, what’s the problem with Princess Fancy?”
“I’m not entirely sure, to be honest,” said Lodestar. “She’s not at all like anypony else I’ve met. Actually, I think you can help me figure it out.”
“Yeah?”
“Can you talk to Starlight Song for me? You told me she used to be Princess Luna’s attendant a while ago, and I’d like to find out more about the job. I’m especially curious as to why she quit.”
“Aw, by the Sisters, that’s bad timing.” Sunspot rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, I can’t help you there.”
“Why on Equestria not? You are dating her, after all. You ought to be able to ask her a few questions.”
“Correction: I was dating her.”
Lodestar winced. “Ooh. I’m sorry. What happened?”
“I guess it just stopped being fun. She was getting kinda clingy, like how she wouldn’t stop trying to get me to go to that hoofball match together. I figured I’d cut it off before it went too far.” He shrugged. “Oh, well. I’ll find somepony else.”
“You always do.” Lodestar rolled her eyes. “I don’t suppose you parted ways on good terms? I really would like to talk to her.”
“Not so much. I think she had the wrong idea about where our relationship was going, and, uh, certain things were said.”
“Certain things?”
“Yeah, she said I had no idea what love really was. I may have said some unkind words about her parents, after that.”
“Wonderful,” Lodestar sighed. “That was remarkably fast, even for you. How long were you together? A week and a half?”
“Hey, come on. It’s no worse than the ponies in your magazines. We’d fit right in with Fleur and what’s-his-face.”
“Fleur de Lis and Hoity Toity divorced after three weeks, and now everypony makes fun of them. You and Starlight Song lasted half that long.”
“What can I say?” Sunspot shrugged. “It was time to move on.”


Lodestar stood stiffly in Princess Luna’s lounge. The princess was staring intently at one of her sculptures, a sinewy cord several feet tall formed from dozens of strands of blue and green glass, as she had been for the past two hours. Lodestar’s second shift was proving to be much like the first. The only excitement had come when she had fetched the princess a glass of grape juice.
Lodestar cleared her throat. “Excuse me, Your Highness. Your meeting with the Minister of Trade starts in ten minutes.”
Princess Luna looked up, startled. “That is tonight? Then we must depart.”
Lodestar held the door open for the princess. The two of them left Princess Luna’s chambers and started off down the corridor.
“Thou never callst me by mine name,” said the princess.
“Should I have?” Lodestar fought down the urge to panic. She couldn’t have screwed up by her second day! In front of the princess, no less! Not only was this the last pony she ever wanted to see angry, but being rude to one of Equestria’s rulers was simply not done.
“Thou shouldst call me whatever thou thinkst best. I forgot so much about etiquette when I was on the moon. I’m sure thou knowst what thou shouldst call me better than I. I merely wonder why thou speakst as thou dost.”
Lodestar wondered why the princess had stopped using plural pronouns to refer to herself, but decided it was an issue to tackle later, when she wasn’t busy justifying her own diction. “Using your title is a way of showing respect, Your Highness,” she said.
Princess Luna let out a sigh of frustration. “Alas, this is all more complicated than I remember. A thousand years is a long time.”
“I suppose I never gave that much thought. It must have been very hard, being away so long.”
“Not especially. Or rather, it was difficult at first, as thou canst likely imagine. The beginning was… it was…” The princess’s voice grew smaller and trailed off, and she slowly stopped walking. She stood still, staring at the floor, while Lodestar waited. Abruptly, Princess Luna raised her head and set off again. “That is not the story I meant to tell thee,” she said evenly. “It took perhaps seven score years, but I grew accustomed to solitude. I enjoyed it. To have all the time there was to do whatever I wished…” She smiled distantly. “It is difficult to describe how peaceful it was, or how liberating. I am most glad it happened. Do not misunderstand, I am pleased to be back in the world once more. There are so many things I missed, and so many new things that did not exist before.”
“There must be a lot to adjust to.”
“Indeed. But that is enough about me. Tell me about thyself, Lodestar.”
“I suppose there isn’t much to tell, Princess. I’m just a common pony.”
“Perfect. Our sister says it will do us good to learn more about the common ponies.”
Lodestar suppressed her disappointment. That was supposed to be the part where the princess told her she wasn’t common at all. “Well, I grew up here in Canterlot. I’ve worked in the palace ever since I finished school. Um, I live with my brother, Sunspot. He’s an actor.”
“Interesting, but that is not what we wished to know. It would please us to hear about thy sesguin, not thy circumstances.”
“Sesguin, Princess? I’m not familiar with that word.”
“Discord’s teeth, not again! We thought we had done away with that infernal problem!” Princess Luna kicked the wall in frustration. Hoof-sized chunks of marble broke off and skittered down the hallway. Lodestar shied away, but Luna continued on as if nothing had happened. Lodestar had no choice but to keep following her.
The princess heaved a sigh. “When I was on the moon, I would create words. There are ideas I needed there that I had never encountered on Equestria. Since my return, it has been most difficult to remember which words are part of the lexicon and which are my own inventions. A thousand years is a long time.”
“Sesguin is one of your words?”
“It must be, if thou hast not heard it. I was certain I had overcome this curse!”
“As long as you’re making progress, you shouldn’t worry too much, Your Highness. My brother likes to say that a journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step.”
“He sounds like a most clever pony. Now, let us go to the library. I wish to be sure of whether sesguin is a word. There are yet other words I need to look up, as well.”
“Have you forgotten your meeting with the Minister of Trade, Princess?”
“I shall meet him some other time. As thou sayst, I must needs continue making progress with my vocabulary. Is ‘velleity’ a word?”
“It’s not one I’m familiar with, Princess…”


Lodestar closed the ancient copy of Mareiam-Webster’s dictionary and set it neatly in a stack with the other books. She paused to wipe away the dust left behind on her reading desk. When she accepted this job, Lodestar had had no idea that it would involve looking through a dozen different dictionaries and cross-referencing to account for spelling variations over the past thousand years. Apparently this was what Radiance had meant by “other duties as required.”
“Okay, Your Highness,” said Lodestar. “I think I’ve got it.”
“Hmm?” Princess Luna looked up from her own dictionary. The princess had insisted on helping in the search, then promptly begun to read through a dictionary from the very beginning. At least, she acted as though she were reading. The two of them had been in the library for somewhere north of three hours, and Princess Luna was still only as far as “adept.”
“It appears that ‘inamorato,’‘velleity,’ ‘unked,’ ‘goniolatry,’ ‘mamelon,’ and ‘ravelin’ are all words,” said Lodestar, “but I’m reasonably sure that ‘sesguin’ and ‘parsenar’ are not.”
“Oh! My thanks. That is good to know, and yet it is a shame that I shall have to do without ‘sesguin’ and ‘parsenar’.”
“To be blunt, Princess, I think you can safely do without all of them. When would you possibly need a specific word for the worship of angels?”
“Thou shouldst read more carefully,” said the princess. “It refers to angles, not angels.”
“Are you sure?” Lodestar reopened the dictionary to the entry for goniolatry. Sure enough, Princess Luna was right. “But that makes even less sense! Nopony would ever need to use that word!”
“I am immortal, am I not?” Princess Luna returned her attention to her dictionary. “I am sure I shall use it at least once,” she added without looking up.
Lodestar was trying to come up with some way to respond to that when she caught sight of Princess Celestia approaching through the shelves of books, wearing a disapproving frown. Lodestar’s mind froze up at the sight of the pony who had ruled Equestria for longer than anypony could remember. Being in Princess Luna’s presence was one thing, but this… it was all she could do to remember to bow.
“Luna,” said Princess Celestia, “the Minister of Trade just asked to reschedule your meeting, since you didn’t show up.”
“Oh, yes,” said Princess Luna. “Tell him the same time tomorrow night.”
“Luna… why didn’t you go to the meeting?”
“We were researching vocabulary with Lodestar.”
Princess Celestia sighed. “We’ve talked about the importance of keeping schedules, Luna. When other ponies are expecting you to do something, you have to follow through.”
“And follow through we shall. Did we not say we will meet him tomorrow?”
“It’s still not okay that you made him wait this evening and never showed up. How would you feel if somepony did that to you?”
Luna shrugged. “We would feel little enough. ‘Tis merely a day.”
“Most ponies here don’t think a day is a trivial length of time, Luna. I know the minister well. He’d never say it, but he was hurt when you weren’t there.” Celestia turned to Lodestar as though noticing her for the first time. “What’s your name, my little pony?”
“Lodestar, Your Highness.”
“Lodestar, please go to Minister Subtle Gloaming in the Luminous Tower. Tell him that my sister will see him at the same time tomorrow, and that I am quite sure she will be there on time.”
“Yes, Your Highness.” Lodestar was glad of any excuse to leave. The two princesses were supposed to rule Equestria in harmony. It was more than a little disturbing to watch the two of them disagreeing. She all but galloped out of the library.


When Lodestar returned to Princess Luna’s chambers after delivering the message, she found Her Highness stomping back and forth, fluttering her wings in agitation. The princess glanced at Lodestar as she came in, but did not interrupt her pacing.
Lodestar cleared her throat. She waited for the princess to acknowledge her, but soon it became clear that nothing of the sort was going to happen. Lodestar pressed ahead regardless. “Are you quite alright, Your Highness?”
“I cannot stand this!” Princess Luna’s voice was just below a shout. “I cannot and will not do all that she wishes, and yet when I fail to meet her standards, it hurts nevertheless. I had forgotten how much it hurts.” She stopped pacing and faced her attendant. “Tell me, Lodestar. Thou art accustomed to this world. How doth a pony deal with all these, these expectations?”
“Expectations?” Lodestar repeated. That was somewhat more than she had been prepared for.
“Yes! Expectations! All ponies expect certain things of their Princess of the Night. Some wish me to be well-spoken, some wish me to be learned, some wish for things I can only guess at. None say as much, some even attempt to hide it, yet I can tell from the way they look at me when I do not act as they wish. I can ignore them, but it is difficult, and doubly so when she does it.”
Before Lodestar could formulate an answer, the princess had started pacing across the room once again. “Thou art the first pony I have met who does not judge me in this manner,” continued Princess Luna. “Why is this? Why art thou different?”
Lodestar thought furiously. I’m better at hiding it when I disapprove was clearly not what Her Highness wanted to hear. “You’re the princess,” Lodestar said carefully. “It’s not my place to judge you.”
“I would that other ponies felt as much,” said Princess Luna. “This constant judging is inescapable, here in the world.”


Lodestar was thoroughly exhausted by the time she returned home. She shoved open the door and took a step towards her favorite sofa, then stopped when she realized it was already occupied. Her brother was curled up next to an unfamiliar sky blue earth pony. The unknown mare looked up, although Sunspot continued toying with her deep violet mane. “Hey, sis,” said Sunspot. “I’d like you to meet Morning Glory. Morning Glory, Lodestar.”
Lodestar sighed. Even for Sunspot, this was a remarkably fast rebound. She resisted the urge to say something unkind; there was no need to do that in front of the mare. Besides, she was too tired to get into it now. Lodestar spared a glance at the new girl’s cutie mark and saw a blooming flower in the same shade of violet as her mane. That probably meant another empty-headed ditz, although this one was older than Sunspot’s usual companions. “A pleasure,” Lodestar said. “I’m sorry, but I need to get some rest. I’m still not used to these night shifts. I’ll leave you two alone.” She changed course to her bedroom.
“Oh, do you have to go?” called Morning Glory. “It’s still early.”
“Yeah, stick around,” said Sunspot. “You’ll like her. She writes for one of your Fluttershy magazines.”
Morning Glory rolled her eyes. “I keep telling you, the National Equestrian hasn’t run a Fluttershy story in months.”
Lodestar stopped. She could certainly make time for one of the National Equestrian’s reporters. “I suppose I can wait a minute,” she said as she turned back towards Sunspot and Morning Glory. “I don’t need to be back attending to Princess Luna again for some time.”
Morning Glory untangled herself from Sunspot and pushed herself more or less upright. “You’re close to Princess Luna?”
Lodestar considered the question. “I suppose I am,” she said. “I don’t think there are many ponies closer, anyway.” Lodestar swelled up with pride at the realization and the respect she saw in Morning Glory’s eyes. Still, it seemed sad that Luna had so few ponies closer than her servant of two days.
“You know,” said Morning Glory, “we’ve been trying to do a feature on Princess Luna, but we can’t get any good sources. All we’ve got are the usual horrible rumors. If you could confirm those, though, we might have enough to publish.”
“I don’t know about any horrible rumors,” said Lodestar. “Princess Luna is an upstanding member of the royal family.” Well, maybe she wasn’t exactly upstanding, but Lodestar didn’t like Morning Glory’s angle. Whatever she thought of the princess, Lodestar’s job was to look after her. If that meant defending her from the press, that was fine.
“Really?” Morning Glory frowned dubiously. “I mean, these are persistent rumors, here. I’ve been around long enough to know when there’s at least some truth to these things, and this is one of those times. If you could tell me what the real story behind the rumors is, I’d be grateful.”
“Hm?” said Sunspot. “What rumors?” Lodestar noticed that her brother was gazing up at Morning Glory with a decidedly un-Sunspotlike expression of peaceful contentment that verged on adoration.
Morning Glory shrugged. “Oh, you know. Princess Luna is still secretly Nightmare Moon. Princess Luna doesn’t know anything about us common ponies. Princess Luna once set fire to a servant.”
“None of that’s true!” said Lodestar. “The princess isn’t evil, she’s just… she has trouble interacting with ponies sometimes. Or rather, all the time, I suppose.”
“Well, if you ever want to set the record straight, I’d be happy to hear it. An article about Princess Luna’s side of things would almost certainly get published.”
“I’d love to!” Lodestar almost burst at the thought of seeing her name in the Equestrian.
“Great. Let’s do that sometime after the Gala. I’ll be working my tail off until then, and your article would get lost in all the Gala gossip anyway.”
Lodestar nodded. “I look forward to it,” she said.


“If I can ask, Your Highness, what are you planning on wearing to the Gala?”
Princess Luna looked up from the glass paperweight she was studying. It was a heavy piece of blue and white, blown in the shape of a seashell, and it had held the princess’s attention for well over an hour. “Thou art referring to the Grand Galloping Gala?”
“Yes, Your Highness. I’m sorry to interrupt, but you haven’t mentioned it at all, and, well, it’s less than a week away.”
“Is it indeed?” The princess shrugged. “No matter. I will not attend.”
“But it’s the biggest event of the year! Everypony who’s anypony will be there!”
“Precisely. It is difficult enough learning to interact with one pony at a time. I do not wish to manage an entire crowd of my subjects. Perhaps next year I will be prepared, or perhaps the year after that, but not now.”
“So we’ll be staying here, then? Like any other night?” Lodestar did her best to keep the disappointment out of her voice.
“Indeed.” The princess peered closely at Lodestar. “Doth this trouble thee?”
“Of course not, Your Highness.”


“You alright in there, sis?” The door to Lodestar’s bedroom muffled Sunspot’s voice. “Breakfast’s getting cold.”
“I am not alright!” she called from atop her bed. “I finally get a job personally attending one of the two ponies in Equestria who doesn’t need so much as an invitation to get into the Grand Galloping Gala, and she’s not even going! This was supposed to be my chance to finally see it!”
Sunspot cracked open the door, spilling light into the room. It was a fastidiously clean space that would have been bright if the heavy drapes weren’t pulled closed against the rising sun. Shelves and end tables displayed countless keepsakes, knickknacks, and mementos, leaving barely enough room for the canopied bed on which Lodestar had thrown herself.
“That’s rough,” said Sunspot. “You can’t get in without her, can you?”
“I can’t even get away from her. She’s still the princess and she still needs an attendant. The only bright side is that now I can go to the review party with you, afterwards.”
“Aw, horsefeathers. I actually told Morning Glory I’d go with her to the Equestrian’s party thing, since you were busy. Sorry, sis.”
“It figures.” Lodestar rolled onto her back and cast her eyes at the ceiling.
“Look, I know how much the Gala means to you. If you want, I can tell Morning Glory that I have something else I have to do.”
Lodestar sighed. “Thank you, but no. If past experience is any guide, the two of you don’t have long together. Best if you enjoy it while it lasts.” She paused. “Hey, wait. Since when do you go to actual events with your girlfriends? Didn’t you break up with Starlight Song because she wanted to do something more than hang out at the bar with you?”
“Yeah, it’s weird! I’ve never felt like this before.” Sunspot hopped up on the edge of the bed. “She’s just such a fascinating pony, you know? She loves what she does so much, I can’t help but get interested too.”
“You mean now you’re actually following the Fluttershy magazines?”
“Hey, Fluttershy is old news, remember? But no, not really, it doesn’t work when she’s not around. When I’m with her, though, it’s just… if she’s talking, then in has to be important, right? It’s not just the Fluttershy stuff, it’s also when she talks about her carpentry stuff or her garden. I swear I spent two hours last night listening to her talk about weeding, and it was the most fun I’ve had since I don’t even know.”
Lodestar smirked. “Oh, my. I think you’re actually starting to care for somepony. If I didn’t know better, I might actually think she could be more than another one of your three-week inamoratos.”
“Hey! What’s wrong with my three-week whatsits?”
“Well, have they ever made you feel like this before?”
Sunspot sighed. “I guess not.”
> Chapter 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	“Hey, Lodestar! Lodestar, wake up! Today we’re gonna head out and have some fun!”
Lodestar pulled her pillow over her head. “Don’t wanna.” After spending last night−the night of the Grand Galloping Gala itself−watching as the princess wandered silently through the palace’s deserted art gallery, she wanted nothing more than to sulk in peace. The only bright side was that now Radiance would finally let her quit if she wanted to.
“C’mon! It’s a beautiful day!” With a quick burst of magic, Sunspot opened the curtains of Lodestar’s bedroom. Sunlight streamed in, pushing Lodestar another reluctant step towards wakefulness. “When’s the last time you were even out during the day?”
“A week ago, as I’m sure you know. That’s when I started working at night and sleeping during the day. Well, trying to sleep during the day.” She shot a withering glare at Sunspot, to no effect.
“That’s right! You haven’t done anything fun for a whole week! You didn’t even do anything fun for your Gala. What kind of brother would I be if I let you get away with that? You’ll thank me later, trust me.”
Lodestar sat up in bed and forced a dignified expression onto her face. “I have an extremely important position with the princess herself and I’ll need to be at my best tonight. Going out when I should be resting is simply not an option.”
“Well, if you’re sure…” Sunspot shrugged. “That’s too bad. Morning Glory went to a lot of trouble to get me these tickets to Photo Finish’s post-Gala exhibition.”
“There you go, then.” Lodestar flopped back down on the mattress and pulled the blankets up to her neck. “You can go to the exhibition with her instead and enjoy having a serious relationship for once. I’ll get some rest, like a responsible pony.”
“That’s dedication. I admire that. I glanced through your Fluttershy magazine, by the way. Did you know Photo Finish is taking the exhibition on tour across Equestria? Apparently this is the only day it’ll be in Canterlot. That makes this your one chance to see it, right?”
Lodestar perked up. “The only day?”
“Yep!”
“Fine! You win!” Lodestar pulled herself out of bed. “I hate you so much.”
“Love you too, sis.”


Princess Luna was sprawled on top of her bed. Ostensibly she was reading a treatise on the Ponic Wars, but she hadn’t turned a page in at least half an hour. Lodestar stood silently off to the side, struggling to stay awake. She almost longed for a return to her first days on the job, back when Princess Luna’s silence had terrified her. Now it was simply normal, which meant there was nothing to keep her from falling asleep on her hooves. The worst part was that the exhibition had been worth it. Sunspot was unbearable when he was right.
“I have spent too much time in the palace of late,” said Princess Luna. “These walls grow confining. Let us go elsewhere.”
Lodestar looked up in surprise. By now she was used to Princess Luna’s habit of spitting out a complete thought after hours of silence, but she had never known the princess to propose anything more ambitious than a walk through the art gallery. Aside from a few meetings and lessons that Princess Celestia had arranged, Princess Luna had barely left her chambers. “Where would you like to go, Princess?” she asked.
“Alas, I do not know. What do normal ponies do on such occasions?”
Lodestar glanced at the clock. “At ten in the evening? Not much. Bars are the only places that would be open this late.”
“Very well. Let us go to one of these ‘bars’.”
“Are you certain, Princess? It’s rather unusual for somepony like you to go to a place like that.”
Princess Luna looked at her curiously. “Why? Is there something wrong with it?”
“Well, many ponies would consider it beneath your dignity.”
“Oh! So if I disguised myself and nopony were the wiser, all would be well, would it not?”
“I suppose so, Your Highness, but a princess such as yourself is rather… distinctive.”
“That will not be a problem,” said Princess Luna. Her horn shone faintly, and her wings and flanks dissolved into a cloud of dark blue mist. Lodestar leapt back as the mist coalesced into flesh once again. The princess was intact, but changed. There was no sign of her wings, and although her cutie mark still showed its crescent moon, the distinctive blotch around it was gone. “There. Am I not disguised?”
Part of Lodestar’s mind knew that diplomacy and tact were more important than ever when dealing with the unexpected. That part was shouted down by the part that had just seen the princess edit herself like an indecisive artist. “What—but—you just—what in Equestria was that?”
“Oh, that is but a minor transformation. My magic is capable of far more than that.”
“You mean you can just… turn into whatever you want to? Whenever you feel like it?” Lodestar failed to keep a hysterical edge from creeping into her voice, but if the princess noticed, she gave no sign.
“Essentially, yes.” The princess looked into a silver-framed mirror mounted near the doorway. “Hm. I am still recognizable, it seems.” She furrowed her brow in concentration, and her pale blue mane and tail took on a translucent cast. They darkened slightly and began wafting, as if in a gentle breeze. Finally, tiny pinpricks of light appeared deep within the princess’s mane, softly illuminating her ethereal hairstyle. She smiled faintly at her reflection. “Better.”
It took Lodestar half a minute to find her voice. “That’s… that’s beautiful. I had no idea…” She cleared her throat. “I can’t say I’m certain it’s a good disguise, though.”
“Obviously 'tis a good disguise. I have never worn my mane like this before. Now, let us be off. Knowst thou where to find one of these bars thou mentioned?”


Soon enough, Lodestar was sitting across from the princess at a table in the back of the Last Prance. It was a relatively quiet establishment, nothing at all like the raucous nightclubs Sunspot liked to drag her to. A small jazz band was playing across from the bar, and a few older couples were dancing. Most of the patrons were content to sit, drink, and talk.
Lodestar glanced around, wondering if it measured up to Princess Luna’s standards. “What do you think, Your Highness?”
Princess Luna looked at her curiously. “Why dost thou call me that? I thought thou wished to hide my identity.”
“Oh! You’re right! I didn’t even think of that. My apologies, pri–uh, my apologies.”
The princess levitated the menu so that she could read it. “What is this treatise?”
“That’s the menu. Ah, it explains what they serve here.”
The princess fell silent as she began to read. Lodestar silently hoped it would take her less than an hour as she struggled to keep her eyelids from drooping.
A pale orange unicorn with a wineglass cutie mark approached them. “What can I get for you ladies?”
“I’ll have a maretini, please,” said Lodestar.
“One maretini. And you, ma’am?”
The princess continued reading the menu, giving no sign that she had noticed the waiter.
“Two maretinis,” said Lodestar.
Their drinks arrived quickly. Lodestar sipped hers as the princess read, ignoring her own drink. Eventually she set the menu down. “Why do they fry pickles, of all things?”
Lodestar shrugged. “Some ponies like them. My brother made me try one once. It was… exactly as odd as you would expect.” She paused as a thought struck her. “You know, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you eat anything.”
“I eat things!” the princess said defensively. “I eat all the time! Let me see, I last ate at lunch with my sister not two weeks ago. I enjoyed it immensely.”
“Two weeks? That can’t possibly be right. Nopony can go that long without eating.”
“Well, sustaining myself purely with magic is simple enough. It is merely a more refined application of the transformation spell thou witnessed earlier.”
“But why?”
“Eating causes some very intense sensations. I enjoy it, but in moderation. There is no food on the moon, and I am still growing accustomed to its presence here. It is no great matter, in truth. I am used to casting the sustenance spell constantly and subconsciously, the way other ponies breathe.”
Now that she was looking for it, Lodestar could tell that Princess Luna wasn’t breathing at all. Lodestar stared for several seconds before answering the princess. “I keep forgetting how different you are from anypony I’ve known. You can describe these things, but I can’t even imagine what it must be like.”
“I feel much the same about all of you, in truth. At times I fear that one such as I can never understand how mortals think.”
“I suppose your sister fits in quite well, doesn’t she?”
“Alas,” said Princess Luna, “she has always been better at such things, even before my… exile.” She picked up her drink and drained the glass in a single long gulp. “This is good. What dost thou call it?”
“That was a maretini. Would you like another one?”
“No, I will try something new. What shall we drink next? Thou hast steered me well, thus far.”
“How about wine? You might like the pony grigio.”


By the time they were on their fifth round of drinks, Lodestar could feel herself starting to relax. It was hard to remember why she had found Princess Luna so intimidating before. She was odd, certainly, but clearly without a malevolent bone in her body. That was assuming Princess Luna even had bones, of course. Lodestar wasn’t sure of anything when it came to the princess anymore.
“It was then that I left the vessel too long in the heat of the furnace,” Princess Luna was saying. “The glass began to lose its shape, and while I was able to prevent it from collapsing entirely, my best efforts were not enough to restore it to the form I had envisioned. I abandoned that attempt and conjured more raw glass so that I could begin anew, although this time I cooled the furnace slightly before I dared attempt it.”
“Excuse me, Princess,” said Lodestar, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but is there a point to this story?”
“No,” said Princess Luna. “Why? Should there be?”
“It’s considered traditional, yes.”
“Hmph. This business of anecdotes is more complicated than I remember.”
“Why are you so into glassblowing, anyway? It doesn’t seem like a very, uh, princessish hobby.”
“The word thou seekst is ‘regal’. And I have long been fascinated by the sacred act of creation. Glassworking is one facet of that. The challenge of forming a thing of beauty in such an inhospitable environment as a thousand-degree furnace is… compelling.”
“But I don’t get why you, of all ponies, would bother with that,” said Lodestar. “I mean, you’re a princess. You’re already famous. Do you really need to be an artist, too?”
“I have found that ponies are remembered not merely for who they are or how well they are known, but for what they accomplish. My art ensures that a hundred years from now, when ponies read about my life, they will find that I did more in this decade than simply return from exile.”
“I suppose I can understand that,” said Lodestar. “Still, it seems like returning is enough work on its own.”
Princess Luna nodded. “It is difficult at the best of times, and there have been mistakes, as thou knowst well. I do apologize for the asphyxiation incident. Such things have made my task yet harder.”
“And the rumors are even worse! I even heard somepony say you lit a servant on fire, once.”
Princess Luna winced slightly. “Ah, yes. That was… unfortunate.”
“You mean it actually happened?”
“Not intentionally!” The princess grimaced, and her eyes didn’t quite meet Lodestar’s as she spoke. “Dawn Darling was my second attendant, before I was accustomed to being on Equestria once more. It was an honest mistake, I truly did not wish to do anything bad, but yes, I accidentally immolated him a little.”
Lodestar couldn’t keep the look of horror off her face. Fortunately, the princess was either too oblivious or too drunk to notice. “We were out in the gardens,” she continued, “and he said he was cold, so I used magic to warm him up. Unfortunately, I forgot that there is air on Equestria, which means things can, uh, what’s the word, can combust. I was nearly as surprised as he was!” Princess Luna chuckled. Lodestar did not.
“I put him out quickly, so he wasn’t hurt badly. Celestia told me he recovered in a matter of days. I never did see him after that night, however.” Princess Luna sighed. “I can understand why, but ‘tis a pity. I liked him. I don’t believe he knew it, but that pony had a truly magnanimous sesguin.”
Princess Luna curled into a ball and lay there, brooding. Lodestar drank her Southern Coltfoot and tried not to think about that poor pony being set on fire.
Several minutes later, the princess abruptly perked up. “Oh, that reminds me. Thou never didst tell me about thy sesguin.”
“That isn’t a word, Your Highness, remember?”
“Does it truly matter if it’s not in the dictionaries? I still wish to know.”
“I’m afraid you still haven’t told me what it means.”
“Indeed? Well, sesguin is… thou knowst how thou art different when thou art with different ponies? Thou art one way with thy family, another way in more formal relationships, and something else entirely when thou art alone. Sesguin is the bit of thyself that does not rely on context. ‘Tis the part that remains the same no matter what, separate from all the roles and expectations thou art trying to fulfill, including thine own. That is what I would know of thee.”
“I don’t… that’s a very broad question, Princess. I’m afraid I’m not sure how to answer.”
“Why is that?”
“I suppose I’ve never been a very introspective pony. It’s not something I’ve ever thought about.”
“Verily? I am sure thou knowst about thyself. Thou hast lived with thyself thy whole life, after all.”
Lodestar shook her head. “I’m sorry, Princess.”
The princess giggled. “Thou really shouldst not call me that if thou dost not want ponies to learn who I am.”
Lodestar shrugged. “Nopony’s listening to us. We ought to be fine.”
Princess Luna glanced around. “Thou art right. ‘Tis strange. There are so many groups of ponies in one place, but we do not speak to each other at all.”
The waiter approached their table. “Excuse me, ladies. I’m afraid we’re going to close for the night fairly soon. Can I get you a last drink? The maresala is particularly good tonight.”
“Oh!” said Princess Luna. “We don’t wish to be a nuisance. We will go.”
The waiter watched with bemusement as Lodestar explained to the princess how to go about paying for things. Once that was taken care of and the waiter trotted off, Lodestar said, “Shall we go back to the palace now?”
“Yes,” said the princess, and then—
A hideous crushing pain filled Lodestar’s world, as though her entire body had been squashed down to the size of a pea. The agony was immense, but instantaneous. By the time Lodestar registered how much it hurt, the pain was gone, and—
Everything was different. The floor was uneven under Lodestar’s hooves. The quiet sounds of music and conversation were gone, replaced by the chirping of insects. The air was cooler and smelled of flowers.
Disoriented and hopelessly confused, Lodestar collapsed bonelessly to the floor—no, not the floor, she realized as her head smacked into it. It was covered in grass, that made it ground instead. Her head throbbed and spun, her stomach churned, and her eyes struggled to adjust to the sudden darkness all around her.
“Lodestar!” The princess rushed to her side. “Art thou well? What is wrong?”
Lodestar’s heart was racing, and she tasted bile at the back of her throat. With an effort of will, she fought down the urge to retch. “Where—what just—what happened?”
“I teleported us to the palace gardens. I’m… I apologize, I should have told thee first. Truly, I did not realize it would affect thee so. My own constitution is such that I do not bother with the safeguards that mortal ponies use when teleporting. I forget how fragile you are.”
Lodestar took several deep breaths, pulled herself partway up, and slowly began to restore her outward composure. Internally, however, she was completely lost. The princess had just pulled her halfway across Canterlot without so much as a warning, let alone permission. Lodestar hadn’t felt so helpless since she was a filly in her mother’s hooves, and her mother had never treated her so carelessly.
As her nausea gradually faded, Lodestar’s thoughts swung back and forth from anger at the princess to fear at the staggering display of power she had just witnessed. She had never seen anypony teleport before, but her teachers had told her that only the most powerful unicorns could cast such a difficult spell, and even then they could only travel short distances. Clearly, none of them had seen the princess in action.
She looked up to see Princess Luna looking bashfully off to the side and pawing weakly at the grass. Her Royal Highness looked like nothing so much as a filly caught breaking her grandmother’s vase. Lodestar couldn’t bring herself to get mad at that. As the adrenaline trickled out of her system, fatigue and alcohol asserted themselves once more. She slumped back to the ground, drained.
“How feelest thou?” When Lodestar didn’t answer, Princess Luna continued. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. That was… it was stupid, was it not?” A pause. “Forgive me, Lodestar? Please?”
Lodestar stayed silent. She was too full of confusion and sullen pride to do anything else. After a minute or two, Princess Luna laid down on the grass next to her.  
The two ponies stayed that way for a long time. It was the princess who broke the silence. “I hate this,” she said. “I always do dumb things like that. I’m just not used to being part of the world again.” She curled into a ball on the grass and rested her head on her hooves. “All the bits and pieces of me that involve interacting with other ponies… I remember it, more or less, but it is no longer part of my sesguin. It probably won’t be for a very long time. I try my best, but it is hard.” 
Something inside Lodestar snapped. “Princess, you can’t just brush it off like that! I know it’s hard for you to fit in, but this isn’t okay! Tonight is the second time you’ve done something like this to me! I could’ve died the first time! And maybe this time too, I don’t actually know what you did to me.”
“I am aware. This is why I change attendants so quickly. There are so many things to remember, and if I forget one, just one, just for a second, then somepony gets hurt.” Princess Luna looked up at the stars. “But I do try. I try so hard.”
“I’m sorry, but trying isn’t enough! I’m trying to like you, I really am, but I can’t do it if you keep hurting me for no reason!”
“I am improving, whatever thou thinkst.”
“What, you mean it’s okay to suffocate me half to death because it’s better than setting me on fire?”
“That is not all. Wouldst thou know a secret?” The unfamiliar hesitation in Princess Luna’s voice made Lodestar pause. “This is not the worst thing I have done. Even the accident with Dawn Darling was no more than forgetfulness. Nay, I was far worse when I first returned. The truth is…” She lowered her voice. “I am Nightmare Moon.”
“What? No, that was different. I made the trip to the Summer Sun Celebration, so I saw what happened. That wasn’t you at all! Everypony knows Nightmare Moon was just a… a twisted version of you.”
Princess Luna sighed. “I know my sister wants everypony to believe that, but, well, Nightmare Moon is not actually a different, uh, I can’t remember the word. Oh, right, entity. She isn’t a different entity.” She saw Lodestar’s look of confusion. “Watch, and I will show thee what I mean.”
Princess Luna’s body glowed with a bright light that obscured everything but her silhouette. The silhouette grew and changed into that of a pony taller and leaner than Princess Luna. The light quickly faded, giving Lodestar a clear view of an armored mare with a coat as dark as the gaps between the stars. Lodestar shrank back as Nightmare Moon stepped towards her.
“Dost thou understand, Lodestar?” The voice was Nightmare Moon’s, but it had Princess Luna’s earnest tone. “I wore a different form that night, yet it was still me.”
Lodestar hurriedly backed away. “Please don’t hurt me.”
“Wait, please don’t—I’m still the same pony, Lodestar! Thou needst not fear!” Nightmare Moon’s form dissolved into dark blue mist, then reformed into Princess Luna, kneeling at Lodestar’s side. She was back in the body Lodestar had first seen her wear, complete with wings, although she kept the ethereal mane she’d sported in the bar. “Listen. I am simply trying to explain what it’s been like for me, coming back to Equestria. I want thee to know that I did not intend to hurt thee with that teleport spell. I’m just unaccustomed to how the world is.”
“But if you’re really Nightmare Moon… she did try to hurt ponies. You did that.”
“I was terrified! I’d just materialized in the middle of the world for the first time in a thousand years and I had no idea what to do or how to feel! I only knew that I would not be ignored again. To that end, all I could think was to act the way ponies would expect a usurping goddess to act when she was liberated, and that was… well, thou knowst already. First banishing my sister, then the eternal night. I completely lost sight of my sesguin. It was the stupidest thing I have ever done, and I scared a lot of ponies, and I cannot tell thee how much I regret what I did. But Lodestar, I stopped. I went a good deal further than I ever meant to, but in the end I decided to stop being Nightmare Moon.”
“What? No, the Elements of Harmony were what turned you good again. Weren’t they?”
Princess Luna shook her head. “All the Elements did was nullify my magic. They ended the spells that kept Celestia banished and Equestria sealed in unending night. Everything that happened after that is what I chose. This is the real me. I know that now. I wish I had realized it sooner.”
Lodestar took a deep breath to steady herself. “Princess, I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore. I’m afraid you’ll have to find a new attendant.”
“Lodestar, no! Please don’t. This always happens.” Princess Luna’s voice broke. “Everypony leaves right when I start to get to know them. Some of them I do not miss much, but thee… I would be sad to see thee leave, Lodestar, truly I would.”
“I wish I could keep doing this, Princess, but it’s all too much for me. I just never know what to expect with you. If something like this can happen any time… I can’t stay on guard all the time, Princess. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
Princess Luna was silent for several seconds. “Very well. If thou must leave us, then… very well. Goodbye, Lodestar. We wish thee a happy life.” There was a flash as the princess teleported away, leaving Lodestar alone in the gardens.


The stars were beginning to fade into the early dawn light by the time Lodestar made her drunken way back home. She staggered through the front door, then paused when she heard the clatter of pans from the kitchen. Sunspot wasn’t a pony who woke up early enough to cook a real breakfast. After a longing glance at her bedroom door, Lodestar went to investigate.
She found Morning Glory at the stove, hunched forward over a sizzling pan. Lodestar sniffed the air. “Eggs Barnedict and fried sunflower,” she said. “Not bad.”
Morning Glory looked up. “Oh! Hi, Lodestar. I didn’t hear you come in. Sorry, I can get pretty focused when I cook.”
“My brother’s still asleep?”
Morning Glory nodded. “I figured it’d be nice to have breakfast ready when Sunny wakes up. Did you want any? I’m happy to make more.”
“No, thanks. I’d better hit the hay.” Lodestar turned to go.
“Alright,” said Morning Glory. “Oh, and let me know whenever you want to do that interview.”
Lodestar stopped. “I suppose now’s as good a time as any.” After all, it wasn’t as though she had to worry about waking up in time for work. The night’s events still rattled through Lodestar’s head, and she had to tell somepony before she burst. Having her interview published in one of Equestria’s most widely-read periodicals was icing on the cake, of course. She’d dreamed about that since she was a filly.
“Great!” Morning Glory flipped an egg in one smooth, practiced motion. “Where would you like to start?”
“You remember that rumor about Princess Luna setting a pony on fire? Well, here’s what I heard right from the horse’s mouth…”
> Chapter 3
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	That evening, Lodestar was curled up in a ball on her living room sofa. She was resting her face on her hooves, trying to make sense of the emotions running through her head. She had been lying there long enough that the embroidery on the throw pillows was imprinted into her flank, but she was still as confused as ever.
She was extraordinarily tired. Despite her fatigue, she had been unable to fall asleep after the interview with Morning Glory. At first she had been too excited at the thought of seeing her words in print. Then the alcohol faded, and excitement was replaced by worry. She had worried about Princess Luna’s state, worried about her newfound unemployment, worried that the interview had been a bad idea… all in all, she had tossed and turned for hours and, for the second day in a row, managed only a few hours of sleep.
The front door creaked open, and her brother strode through. He levitated a rakish jacket off his torso and cast it across the back of the couch. “Hey, sis. Sorry I didn’t see you this morning, I had a bit of a long night.” He paused when he got a look at her face. “Hey. Is something wrong?”
“Yes. I…” Lodestar tried to think where to begin. So much had happened last night, but when she thought about what was bothering her the most… “Sunspot, what kind of pony am I? I don’t mean what I usually do, or the way I act around one group of ponies or another. I mean who am I really, on the inside?”
Sunspot raised an eyebrow. “Whoa, hey. It is way too late to be getting existential.”
“I’m serious! I’ve been thinking about it and I, I, I don’t know who I am! I’ve always just gone along with other ponies, I’ve never done anything big by myself, I don’t even know what I’d want to do if I had the chance…”
“Look.” Sunspot hopped onto the couch beside Lodestar. “You’re not some puzzle that you need to solve and sum up in a couple of words. I mean, ponies are complicated. Most of us spend our entire lives trying to figure out who we are and what we want. So what if you don’t have an answer right now? You don’t need one to keep being you, and that’s the important part.”
“I suppose. Maybe it shouldn’t bother me, not knowing much about who I really am, but it does.”
“You’ll figure it out. You’re young, you’ve got plenty of time. Figuring out something this big this isn’t something you’ll do in an evening. A journey of a thousand miles–”
“Begins with one small step, I know. But I shouldn’t have to figure this out! I should know who I am already!”
“Hey. You want to know who you are? You’re my sister. I know you like I know myself, so trust me when I say no matter what your inner self turns out to be, you’re a wonderful pony and I’ll always love you because you deserve it.”
Lodestar smiled thinly. “Thanks. I suppose I needed to hear that. I really do feel a bit better.”
“You sure? You still look like you’re about to go write some angst-ridden poetry or something.”
“Yeah, I… well, I had a crazy night. My sesguin wasn’t the only thing bothering me.”
“What’s a sesguin?”
“That’s a long story,” said Lodestar. “Um, do you have time to talk for a while? There’s rather a lot of confusing things going on, and I need somepony to help me sort through it.”
“Of course. I’ve got no other plans tonight, anyway.”
Lodestar smirked. “You’re still a terrible liar, you know.”
“Fine,” said Sunspot. “I was gonna go see Fiddler on the Hoof with some guys, but my sister’s more important. So, what is it?”
“Well.” Lodestar took a breath. “I may have quit my job last night.” Lodestar launched into a summary of the last night’s events.
“Let me see if I understand,” said Sunspot when the story was over. “So Princess Luna keeps making mistakes because she’s still adjusting to being back, and sometimes she really hurts the ponies close to her. You quit because you don’t want to be around the next time it happens. Is that about right?”
“Yes. Well, no. Or rather, that’s part of it, but it’s not the whole reason I left.”
“Hm. So what am I missing?”
“The princess is just… she’s a really scary pony,” said Lodestar. “It’s not her fault, but she’s so alien. I mean, she doesn’t even breathe! She doesn’t eat! I don’t know if she sleeps! I have no idea how to relate to her or predict what she’s going to do. It’s just unnerving. But mostly… it’s Nightmare Moon. That wasn’t an ignorant mistake like the other things. I know she was scared and confused and everything, but she did all that on purpose.”
“Well, from what you said, it sounds like Luna’s changed since the Nightmare Moon thing. Plus, Celestia was able to forgive her for that mess. You might want to think about following her lead.”
“It’s not because I’m not forgiving her! I just can’t forget that she’s capable of doing something like that. If I stayed around, that would always be in the background between us.”
“That sounds exactly like you’re not forgiving her, actually,” said Sunspot. “Forgiveness isn’t about saying polite words, it’s about really letting something go even though somepony absolutely did mess up. I mean, I can’t say that you should forgive her, that’s up to you. It just sounds like you didn’t, so far.”
“I don’t know. I don’t feel angry at her, I feel scared. Is that so unreasonable?”
“It sounds pretty reasonable, yeah. That doesn’t have to be the end of it, though.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, look,” said Sunspot. “You’ve got good reasons for feeling the way you do. Thing is, for such a big decision, you don’t want to go with just your feelings. You’ve also got to think about the situation, figure out what’s going on and what you want out of it, you know? Emotions are important and you never want to ignore them, but you don’t want to let them control you either. It’s important to understand them before you act on them. What exactly is it about Princess Luna that scares you?”
“I suppose it’s how I can’t tell how she thinks or what she’s going to do. I’m worried she’ll decide to turn into Nightmare Moon again, and I wouldn’t see it coming.”
Sunspot’s eyes widened. “You really think she’d do that?”
“I don’t know! I don’t know how I would know! Maybe I’m just being silly, but what if I’m not?”
“Sis, if you’re worried she’ll go that far, you can’t just walk away! At least tell Princess Celestia or something. This is a big deal.”
“I don’t know, that doesn’t seem fair to her,” said Lodestar. “The princess hasn’t actually done anything evil.”
“Looks like you’ve got a bit of a problem, then.”
Lodestar just nodded.
“Alright,” said Sunspot. “You were asking me what kind of pony you are on the inside, yeah? This is your chance to decide. It’s not every day you get a first-class moral dilemma like this one.”
Lodestar thought. “Well, leaving would be easy, but then the princess might turn evil and it would be my fault. I could tell Princess Celestia or somepony, but Princess Luna doesn’t deserve that, plus I’d probably make everypony suspicious and then the princess would be even more alone and then she’d almost certainly turn evil. But what else can I do?”
“Don’t focus on what to do just yet. First, how do you want all this to end up?”
“Hm. I don’t want the princess to turn evil again. I don’t want to keep dealing with a pony I can’t understand. I liked having a glamorous job working directly for the princess, so I’d like to keep doing something like that. Also… well, it would be nice if the princess could be happy.”
“She’s unhappy?”
“Well, not quite. She’s not sad, but she can’t really connect with the world. It’s hard to tell what goes on in her head, but I don’t think she’s happy, exactly. She’s too distant to be more than just… content. She deserves more than that. It sounds like she’s slowly getting better, but I could set that back if I betray her and tell Princess Celestia about the Nightmare Moon thing.”
“Hm. Now the hard part. Is there a way to get all of those things you want? Because I have to admit, I don’t see it.”
“I don’t know. I guess if… oh, horsefeathers. I’m going to have to take my job back and keep her from turning evil myself.”
“What? How?”
“I suppose I’ll have to become her true companion and help her readjust to living on Equestria. I’ll show her patience and kindness, I’ll learn to understand her, and I’ll stick with her when times get tough no matter how inexplicable and terrifying she gets.”
“No, I mean, how are you going to get your job back? You quit pretty dramatically, yeah?”
“Oh.” Lodestar paused. “Yes, that might be a problem.”


“Radiance! Miss Radiance! Can I have a moment, please? I need to talk to you.” Multicolored moonlight streamed through the stained glass windows and rippled over Lodestar’s side as she rushed down the crowded palace hallway, trying to catch up to the steward without crashing into any of the other ponies hurrying this way and that. Thanks to her fatigue, the simple task of navigating a crowded corridor required all the concentration she could muster.
Radiance turned and fixed Lodestar with a withering glare. “You have a lot of nerve, showing your face here.”
Lodestar forced all signs of fatigue from her face. “Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk about. I’ve had some time to reconsider, and I’d prefer not to quit after all. You don’t have to go through the trouble of finding somepony else.”
“You think I care about that? I’ve already lined up several possible replacements. I’m becoming quite good at that, you see, because ponies like you give me so much practice. I was slightly more concerned with the National Equestrian’s headline story, ‘Penumbral Princess Petrifies Palace Ponies’. It seems an anonymous source close to the princess has spilled all sorts of indiscreet details, and this somehow occurred on the very night that the princess’s attendant left in a snit. This does not seem like a coincidence, Lodestar. You have made Princess Luna look bad, and as such you have made every pony in this palace look bad. Believe me when I say that I have no further use for you.”
Lodestar pawed at the ground. “I do apologize for that. It won’t happen again, I swear. I was in over my head and I didn’t know what to do. And, er, I wasn’t precisely myself at the time.”
“Ah, yes. I heard about your little party with the princess last night. I’m not exactly thrilled that you got drunk on the job, Lodestar. You were hired to be her servant, not her friend.”
“But a friend is what she really needs! Not only that, I think a friend would be a lot more likely to last a long time in the position. It can’t possibly be worse than trying yet another pony who she doesn’t know.”
Radiance shrugged. “If you want to be Princess Luna’s friend, do it on your own time. I’m her steward, not her mother, and who she chooses as friends is no business of mine. The palace isn’t about to pay you for that, of course. You’re being replaced, and that’s final.” Radiance turned and trotted away.
Lodestar flushed. “Fine! I’ll find a way to make this work, even without your help!”


It wasn’t long before Lodestar stood before the marble door to the princess’s chambers. She stopped, rubbed her eyes, suppressed a yawn, then tentatively knocked. There was no response. Lodestar knocked again, harder.
From the other side, she heard a muffled gasp, followed by the princess’s voice. “What’s that? Oh, um, of course. Enter.”
Lodestar pushed the door open and stepped inside. “I’m sorry I startled you, Princess.”
Princess Luna was sprawled on the carpet at the base of a bookshelf, one hoof idly toying with a decanter covered in elaborate etchings of flowers.  “Lodestar! This is a surprise. I thought thou wouldst not return.” The princess’s face lit up, although didn’t get up from where she lay.
“Yes, well, I changed my mind about that, Princess. If that’s alright with you, that is.”
“But of course! I am most pleased.” Princess Luna paused, peering at Lodestar’s expression. “It appears thou art worried. Why is this?”
“I’m… technically no longer your attendant. Things aren’t so simple anymore.” Lodestar opened her mouth to tell Princess Luna about the Equestrian article, but couldn’t find the words.
Princess Luna shrugged. “I wish thee to return, thou wishst to return, it appears simple enough. I say thou art my attendant once more. I am curious as to why thou changed thy mind, however. Thou appeared certain last night. Art thou not frightened of me?”
“I suppose I am, a little. But you were asking about my sesguin last night, and it got me thinking. I want to be the sort of pony who wouldn’t run away from something like this.”
“I see. I would that I were more like thee, Lodestar.”
“I… what? More like me?”
Princess Luna rolled onto her side so that she was facing more or less towards Lodestar. “I have never been able to face my fears as thou art. The Nightmare Moon debacle is the worst that has come of it, but it is not all. I have difficulty confronting that which scares me. I always have. That is why I have not spoken to my sister for some days. It is the same, merely less dramatic.”
“Wait. You mean you’re scared of Princess Celestia?”
“Of course! She banished me to the moon for a thousand years! All was well in the end, but she did not know that would happen when she did it. Nor was that the first time she hath imprisoned somepony in such a manner. I cannot look past what she did to me. That is, I am aware that she cares about me a great deal, but I shall always know that she was capable of exiling me regardless.”
Lodestar took a deep breath. “My brother would say you’re talking like you haven’t forgiven her.”
Princess Luna nodded. “’Tis true enough. I love her dearly and I understand why she did it, but… yes, I would say that is right. It is a lot to forgive.”
“Princess, have you told her that?”
“Of course not! She would be crushed! I could never do such a thing.”
“It might be a good idea to deal with those feelings eventually, Princess. That doesn’t sound like something you’d want to hide from her forever.”
“Agreed. Only I am so busy adjusting to my return. I do not wish to complicate things until I feel more comfortable here.”
Lodestar shrugged. “You’re immortal. I’d suggest doing it sooner rather than later, but I suppose there’s no big rush.”
“Precisely!” The princess paused. “Is there aught else before thou resumest thy duties?”
“Actually, I should probably go home and get some sleep. The past couple of days have been tiring. I just wanted to let you know I wasn’t abandoning you, first.”
“Oh, there is no need for that. I can simply transform thy brain such that thou art no longer tired.”
“NO! I mean, no thank you. I mean, I’d prefer if you didn’t transform my brain for any reason.”
Princess Luna shrugged. “As thou wilt. There is still no reason for thee to travel all the way to thy home to sleep, however. My bed is more than adequate, and I am not using it.”
“What? Oh no, Princess, I couldn’t!”
“Nonsense. Thou art tired and in need of sleep. Go on.”
“Really, Princess, I’ll be fine. Radiance would be furious!”
“Is that the problem?” Princess Luna chuckled. “Very well, I shall make it easy for thee. As thy princess, I command thee to get some rest immediately. Nopony can get mad at thee now.”
“But I– yes, Princess.” Lodestar reluctantly made her way to Princess Luna’s bedroom and crawled under the covers. Part of her was terrified at the breach of etiquette, but part of her couldn’t help noticing that this was the softest mattress she had ever–


Lodestar awoke to the sound of a door opening. Groggily, she raised her head and looked around. Lodestar found herself staring into the curious face of Princess Celestia. A jolt of fear shook her fully awake.
“Princess! Your Highness! I was just– it’s not my fault!”
“Lodestar, was it? Don’t worry. What you do is between you and my sister.”
Lodestar quickly stepped out of the bed. “Are you looking for Princess Luna, Your Highness?”
“I am. Do you know where she is?”
Lodestar glanced at the clock. She’d been asleep for nearly seven hours. “If I remember her schedule correctly, she should be learning history with Professor Umbra now.”
“She should, but she isn’t. That’s why I’m looking for her here.”
“I see. I’m afraid I know no more than you do, Your Highness.”
“I wonder. This is the second time she’s done this lately. You’ve spent more time with her than I have, recently. Why do you think she keeps doing this?”
“I couldn’t say, Your Highness. I’m sure I’m not nearly as familiar with her as you are. After all, you’ve known each other for thousands of years.”
“Not as well as you might think, nowadays. A thousand years is a long time. She changed a lot when she was away, and I guess I did too. Anyway, I really don’t know why she’s acting this way now. If you have any ideas, it would be very helpful.”
“I see. I suppose, if I had to guess... she may be doing it for attention, Your Highness.”
Celestia frowned. “How do you mean?”
“In the time that I’ve been the princess’s attendant, she skipped two meetings and you came looking for her exactly twice. Maybe she knows that this will get a reaction out of you, and for whatever reason, she’d rather get a negative reaction than no reaction at all. My brother was like that when he was younger, at least.”
“Hmm. You may be onto something. If she’s acting out for attention again, I guess it’s good that she’s missing appointments instead of casting all Equestria into eternal night.”
Lodestar suppressed a shudder. That hadn’t occurred to her at all.
“Hopefully I’ll be able to handle it better this time,” continued Princess Celestia. “What do you think I should do?”
“Me? Your Highness, I’m not qualified to deal with royal matters! Especially if you’re worried about a… a Nightmare Moon incident!”
“Really? It sounds like you watched your brother grow out of a problem much like this one. On the other hoof, the last time this happened to my family, I banished my sister to the moon for a thousand years. I think I could learn a thing or two from your family.”
Lodestar gulped. “Well… it helped when Dad started paying a lot of attention to the things Sunspot did right. That way, when he wanted attention, he could get it without causing trouble. Also Dad swore he’d take away Sunspot’s rocking horse if the curtains ever caught on fire again, but uh. I’m not certain that applies to this situation.”
“Yes, the first one sounds more relevant. Thank you, Lodestar. You’ve given me a lot to think about. Now, I’d appreciate it if you could find out where my sister is and what she’s up to.”


The search took some time. Lodestar checked the gardens, the library, and the art gallery before she thought of returning to the glass furnace. There, she found Princess Luna levitating an egg-shaped glob of glass that glowed yellow with heat. She was carefully rolling it against a heavy steel table. Princess Luna looked up. “Greetings!” she called. “Thou lookst much livelier now.”
Lodestar navigated her way past workbenches and scattered tools as she approached Princess Luna. “You’re not an easy pony to find, Princess Luna. Your sister is wondering where you are.”
Princess Luna shrugged. “She hath no need to know where I am at every moment. I shall speak with her in due time.” She turned her attention back to the glob of glass. She continued shaping it against the table as Lodestar made her way to Princess Luna’s side.
Princess Luna let out a frustrated hiss. “Discord’s teeth!” She gestured at a hairline crack running the length of the glob. “It hath cooled too fast.” Her horn glowed, and the glass disappeared as though it had never existed. Princess Luna picked up a short blowpipe, then, with another burst of magic, conjured a similar ball of glass on the end of the blowpipe. She glanced up and saw the obvious discomfort on Lodestar’s face. “Is something wrong?”
Lodestar hesitated. “I suppose so. It’s a little frightening to see you create and destroy things like that.”
“It is? Why?”
“Because you’re breaking the laws of nature!”
The princess shook her head. “The laws of nature cannot be broken, by definition. Thou art saying that the laws of nature are not what thou believed them to be.”
“You know what I mean, Princess Luna. Ponies shouldn’t be able to do that. Watching you do things that ought to be impossible is… well, it’s weird.”
“But I can do things like this. Shall I hide who I am merely because some other ponies find it discomfiting?”
“Sometimes, yes. There are thousands of ponies in Canterlot, and we’re all rather different. The only way we can live together in harmony is to act polite and normal in public, even when it’s against our sesguin. You don’t always have to do that with ponies you know well, like me or your sister, but it’s important to be able to fit it when you want to. That’s how–”
The furnace door burst open, letting in a blast of cooler air, followed shortly by Radiance. She gave a curt nod in Princess Luna’s direction. “Ah, there you are. Princess Celestia is concerned about your disappearance, you know.”
Princess Luna frowned thoughtfully. “We have met before, have we not?”
“We have been introduced on four separate occasions. I am Radiance, the steward of this palace. That means it’s my job to make sure everything runs smoothly, which would be a lot easier if I didn’t have to run across the palace every time I needed to speak with you. In any case, I have found you a new attendant. He’s a fine young pegasus by the name of Nova Squall. I’ve told him to meet you in your quarters at sundown.”
“We no longer require a new attendant,” said Princess Luna. “Lodestar will return to her former duties. You have our thanks nonetheless.”
“I’m afraid I can’t allow that, Princess,” said Radiance. “I don’t know if Lodestar told you, but she’s responsible for a rather unflattering article in today’s National Equestrian.”
“And that means… what, exactly?”
“It means she told the whole world about the incident with Dawn Darling.”
“I doubt that. Lodestar is loyal. She knows how fragile our reputation is. She is the last pony who would go spreading such tales.” Princess Luna looked over to Lodestar. “Is that not so?”
“I... no. Radiance is right.” Lodestar hung her head. “I know I shouldn’t have. It’s just, after last night, I didn’t know what to do. Then I ran into this reporter and, well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.”
Princess Luna set down her blowpipe. “I can’t−” She cut herself off, swallowed, and began again. “We do not understand why thou, of all ponies, hast betrayed our trust so.”
“I suppose I wasn’t really thinking clearly. After everything that happened, I was confused and lost and I suppose a little hurt. I needed to talk to somepony about everything, and the reporter was the one who was there.” Lodestar paused briefly and wondered whether to say everything in front of Radiance. She quickly decided that honesty before Princess Luna was more important than impressing a pony who had already written her off entirely. “Also, uh, I’ve always sort of wanted to be in the papers. I’ve just never had anypony think I was important enough to interview before. It was hard to pass up.” She winced. “I know I should’ve been more discreet. I’m so sorry.”
“You see?” said Radiance. “That’s not the kind of pony we need here in the palace.”
If Princess Luna heard Radiance, she gave no sign. She sat back in thought for the better part of a minute. “I understand,” she said finally. “I know what it is like to feel lost and unappreciated. I know why a pony would lash out. If all thou didst in that state was to tell ponies the truth…” Princess Luna let out a sharp sigh. “I am not pleased, but I can forgive thee. I would still have thee as my companion.”
Radiance cleared her throat. “That’s touching, but no. As steward, I need to know that my staff is reliable, and Lodestar has shown that she is nothing of the sort.”
Princess Luna flicked her mane in annoyance. “That was not a suggestion. Thou art speaking to a princess of Equestria, and thou wilt do as we say in this.”
Radiance sniffed. “I believe Princess Celestia is still the one in charge around here. She placed me in charge of the palace staff, and I answer to her authority, not yours. Frankly, I’m not sure what your position is these days, but it certainly doesn’t entitle you to make decisions on my behalf.”
“Thou presumest too much!” Princess Luna’s horn shone faintly with power. The sunlight streaming in through the windows abruptly cut off. At the same time, the light from the forge vanished, leaving the dim glow of the princess’s horn as the only source of light. She drew herself up to her full height– no, Lodestar realized, the princess had actually grown several inches taller. Her coat darkened several shades, as well. Radiance took several quick steps away from Princess Luna. After a moment’s hesitation, Lodestar did the same.
“A pony would be wise to remember that Equestria is ruled by two princesses,” continued Princess Luna. “We are older than mortal ponies such as thee can comprehend, and with age has come wisdom. Yet still we are more powerful than we are wise. Perhaps a demonstration is in order.” She leaned forward, and her horn grew brighter. Radiance flinched back. “Thy words have offended us. Thou shalt not speak again in our presence.”
Radiance opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came out. A look of sheer panic crossed her face. She tried to speak again, to no avail. Lodestar looked on, aghast, as Radiance bolted from the room and slammed the door behind her.
Princess Luna chuckled softly. She released her spells, and light poured into the building once again. “There,” she said. “I expect that pony will trouble us no more.” She glanced down at herself. “I rather like this body. I believe I shall keep it.”
“Princess Luna,” said Lodestar, “I appreciate you sticking up for me, but that was… why did you do that to her?”
“I thought it was quite clear,” said Princess Luna. “That pony was exceedingly rude, and moreover, she tried to take thee away from me. Her actions were intolerable, and I responded as a princess should.”
“Did you? I can’t imagine your sister doing that to anypony. I mean, Radiance was being a jerk and she deserved to get told off, but I think you went too far. Taking away her voice was, well, cruel. That’s not how ponies are supposed to deal with each other.”
Princess Luna shrugged. “It seemed effective. Our problem with the steward is solved, and the spell will fade in a night, or perhaps two. If she is distressed in the meantime, then I cannot feel sympathy for a pony who has acted as she has.”
“Even if you can’t, then think of how other ponies will see this! Radiance will certainly talk about what you did, Princess Luna. When she can, I mean. This won’t win you any friends.”
“I find it difficult to believe that ponies would truly pay heed to one such as her.”
“They will. Radiance is an important pony with a well-respected position. Her words carry a lot of weight.”
“We shall see,” said Princess Luna. “Now, I shall return to my glassblowing. I have neglected it too long.”


“Hey, sis!” Sunspot called as he entered the house. “How’s life with Princess Fancy?”
Lodestar set her copy of Cosmoponytan magazine on the coffee table. “The past few nights have gone smoothly enough. It’s been pretty good since that Radiance thing.” She turned towards her brother and saw Morning Glory alongside him. Both were wearing heavy smocks, saddlebags, and goggles. “What’s with the barding?”
“I’ve been dabbling in glassblowing lately,” said Morning Glory. “Sunny was nice enough to come along.” She reached into her saddlebag and took out a heavy vase. It was tall, narrow, and bright pink. She put it down on the coffee table.
“If that counts as ‘dabbling’, I don’t want to know what mine is.” Sunspot produced a small green object that had probably been meant to become a drinking glass before one side of it collapsed inwards.
Lodestar eyed Morning Glory’s vase. It was simpler than anything Princess Luna made, but it was still a solid piece that any pony would be proud to own. “Is there anything you can’t do?”
Morning Glory shrugged out of her smock. “If it’s worth doing, I’ve probably done it.”
“That reminds me,” said Sunspot, “what do you think of heading out to see Fiddler on the Hoof next week?
“I don’t know. Sitting and watching a show isn’t really my thing.”
“Well, if you wanna get more hooves-on, I know a guy who runs a great acting class.”
“I can’t see myself getting into acting. It’s a lot of work and you don’t end up with something tangible or worthwhile at the end. How about we just have dinner instead?”
“You mean–” Sunspot swallowed. “Okay, sure. Fine.”
Morning Glory turned to Lodestar. “So how did you like your article?”
“Ah,” said Lodestar. “I suppose it caused some problems at the palace.”
“Nothing too serious, I hope,” said Morning Glory.
Lodestar shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have said what I did, but that’s my own doing. There’s not much to do now except move on.”
“I thought you would’ve been pleased. My editors were happy with it, and it made a big splash when we published it. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“I thought so,” said Lodestar, “but I don’t like how I made Princess Luna look. I shouldn’t have done that to her.”
“Well, if you’d like to set the record straight, we could do a follow-up piece.”
“No, thank you. I think I’ve learned that particular lesson.”


Lodestar knocked on the princess’s door and pushed it open. “Hello, Princess Luna. How are you this evening?”
“Not well. I fear thou had the right of it last week.” Princess Luna was curled up on a chaise longue that was now slightly too small for her new, larger body. “That encounter with the steward has left me still less popular than before.”
Lodestar winced. “What happened?”
“For days, every pony I have seen was terrified of me! Many fled my presence, and those who did not acted as though I would strike them down at a moment’s notice. I realize the steward hath spread tales of me, but truly, I do not understand why these ponies believe her. I know I am not the monster they fear me to be.”
“Well, a lot of ponies know Radiance. They may not like her, but they respect her, and they take what she says seriously. Why shouldn’t they believe her? All they know about you is what you’ve shown them.”
“I have shown them little enough, ‘tis true. Now it shall be yet more difficult for me to be welcomed back. My sister will not be pleased to learn of this.”
“Princess Luna, how badly do you want to convince everypony that you’re not scary? Because the only way to do that is to start interacting with ponies. And, uh, not to steal their voices or light them on fire or anything when you do.”
“I understand this, only it is difficult to do so. I am… apprehensive about facing the judgment of other ponies. This is doubly so with unfamiliar ponies, and trebly so when they are in groups. I no longer know how to act in their presence.”
“Oh!” said Lodestar. “Is that the trouble? If it’s just not knowing how to act, there’s an easy answer.”
“That is much of it, even if it is not the entire problem. I would hear thy solution.”
“Well, you’re not the first pony to have this problem. We’ve invented manners exactly so that ponies have something to fall back on in social situations. If you stay polite, it’s basically an automatic way of acting the way ponies expect and showing respect. It can also work as sort of a shield to keep you from showing more of yourself than you want to ponies you don’t know very well, so you don’t have to worry about them judging you as much. It’s the same idea as how you already speak using the royal ‘we’ when you want to make things less personal, or you want to be your position instead of being another pony. I think focusing on formal manners could really help you, Princess Luna. It can give you a way to handle your anxiety by giving you a comfortable routine, and also prevent any more, ah, missteps like the one with Radiance.”
“Hmm.” Princess Luna stroked her chin thoughtfully. “Thy reasoning appears sound. I will research this further, that I might be prepared the next time I must deal with the masses.”
“Great! So when do you think would be a good time to start meeting them?”
“I know little enough of such matters. Dost thou have a suggestion?”
“Well, it’s only a couple of weeks until Nightmare Night. A big event like that could be a good opportunity to meet ponies, and it’s far enough away that you have time to prepare. Plus it’s appropriate because it’s a night about you! Er, more or less.”
“I am not sure that is wise. Nightmare Night is far sooner than I intend to present myself to the populace. I wish to be fully prepared when I act. It is more likely I shall be ready in a year, or perhaps two.”
“That’s an extremely long time. I think you have plenty of time to learn everything you’ll need by this Nightmare Night.”
“It is not my knowledge that concerns me, but rather my own state of mind,” said Princess Luna. “I would be… uncomfortable, interacting with so many ponies so soon.”
“I understand, but the best way to conquer those fears is to just go out and start meeting ponies. Waiting around isn’t going to make you any more ready. Do you feel any more prepared for this than you did for the Gala?”
“I suppose not. Yet still I find it difficult to believe that a single night will be enough for me to overcome these fears.”
“Well, it won’t,” said Lodestar, “or at least not completely. I’m sure you’ll make progress, though. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step, but you can’t go anywhere until you decide to take that step.”
“Hmm. And thou art confident that more formal manners will make it easier for me to do this?”
“Pretty sure, yes. It always works for me.”
“Very well,” said Princess Luna. “I shall study etiquette, as thou believeth best. When the time draws nearer, I shall decide if I am prepared to attend the Nightmare Night festivities here in Canterlot.”
> Chapter 4
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Nearly a week later, Lodestar arrived in Princess Luna’s chambers to find her reading a worn tome whose title proclaimed it the Book of the Civilized Ponie.
“Good evening, Lodestar,” said the princess. “Thy suggestion was a wise one. There is much of value in these books that I had forgotten. Observe.” She straightened her posture. “Citizens of Canterlot!” she called, gesturing wildly with the book. “We have graced your festivities with our presence so that you might behold the real princess of the night! A creature of nightmares no longer, but a pony who desires your love and admiration! Together we shall change this dreadful celebration into a bright and glorious feast!” She paused and looked to Lodestar. “How was that?”
“That’s good,” said Lodestar. “Maybe a bit strong, but the important thing is that it gives you the confidence to get out there and be yourself. That’s the real point of this, Princess Luna.”
Princess Luna nodded. “With confidence or without, these books of thine have taught me how to act confident.” She set the book down. “I notice thou hast been calling me by name, of late. Why is this?”
“Have I?” Lodestar thought for a moment. “I suppose I have. It just seemed natural. You know, I’ve been getting less formal around you for a while. I suppose I called you ‘Your Highness’ when I thought of you as a ruler, but now that I think of you as a friend, it’s ‘Princess Luna’.”
“So thy informality signifies a closer friendship, does it? In that case, pray call me ‘Luna’.”
Lodestar smiled. “I’d be happy to, Luna.”
There was a knock at the door, followed by Princess Celestia’s voice. “Luna, are you in here?”
Luna’s whole body tensed. “We are,” she called back. “Come in.”
The door swung open and Princess Celestia strode in with a warm smile on her face. “I hear you’re going to come to the Nightmare Night celebration next week.”
“We are considering it, ‘tis true, although it is not certain. What of it?”
“I think it’s a wonderful idea.”
Lodestar didn’t miss the flicker of surprise that passed over Luna’s face. “Truly?”
“Of course. I’m glad to see you coming out of your shell, sister. In fact, if you’re feeling adventurous, I have an idea.”
“What is it?” asked Luna.
“I assume you’ve picked Nightmare Night, of all nights, because you want to get rid of these silly rumors about you.” When Luna hesitantly nodded, Princess Celestia continued. “If you want to confront ponies’ fears of Nightmare Moon, maybe you should go back to where it all started.”
Luna raised an eyebrow curiously. “Thou art speaking of the old castle in Everfree?”
Princess Celestia chuckled softly. “Not quite that far back. No, I was thinking of Ponyville. If you go there for Nightmare Night, you can show that you have no hard feelings towards the Elements of Harmony.”
Luna’s eyes widened. “Yes! We never did thank Twilight Sparkle and the others for their part in our return. That is an excellent idea.”
“I’m not sure,” said Lodestar. “The Canterlot event is bigger, and it might be best to meet as many ponies as possible. I mean−” She froze as she realized who she was contradicting. “Forgive me, Your Highness, I spoke out of turn,” she said to Princess Celestia.
“Not at all,” said the princess. “It’s a good point, and that’s actually part of the reason I think Ponyville might be a better choice. Ponyville’s celebration is smaller and more intimate, and I think it will be easier for you to fit in there, Luna.”
“Agreed,” said Luna. “There will be other opportunities to attend events in Canterlot. For now, I wish to begin in Ponyville. Come, Lodestar. Let us study the records of this village, that I might be prepared come Nightmare Night.”
“Actually,” said Princess Celestia, “I’d like to borrow your helper for a few minutes.”
“Very well,” said Luna. “I will proceed to the archives.” There was a flash as she teleported away, leaving Lodestar alone with Princess Celestia.
The princess turned to face Lodestar. “You’re still worried about my sister visiting Ponyville.”
“I am, Your Highness,” Lodestar admitted. “It’s an unfamiliar place, so there are more things that could go wrong. I don’t see why this village is special enough to justify this.”
“There’s somepony I’d like her to meet there. Somepony who can teach her a great deal about friendship. I have a feeling they’ll cross paths.”
Lodestar opened her mouth to speak, then thought better of it, but not before the princess noticed her expression.
“Something’s bothering you, Lodestar.”
“It’s nothing, Your Highness.”
“No, that was different. You were worried before, but just now you looked hurt. What is it?”
“It’s silly, Your Highness. It’s just, I thought I was the pony who was teaching Luna about friendship. I thought I was doing fairly well, too.”
“Nopony’s replacing you, Lodestar. My sister has clearly learned a lot from you, and I’m sure you’ll show her even more in the future. Still, for something as big and important as friendship, it’s good to have more than one teacher, don’t you think? A pony should have more than one friend.”
“I suppose so, Your Highness. I hope this idea of yours works out smoothly.”
“I don’t. Ponies can learn so much from just the right amount of chaos. Anyway, you’d better catch up to Luna before she accidentally frightens some poor scribe.”


Finding Luna proved easy, this time. Lodestar made her way to the palace archives, then followed the trail of ponies speaking in hushed tones and glancing about warily. Soon enough, she spotted Luna watching an extremely nervous clerk search through a shelf full of old parchments.
“Hello, Luna,” she said as she approached. “Did you find what you’re looking for?”
“Not as of yet. This pony hath located some relevant census data, and even now searches for Ponyville’s entry.”
“Oh.” Lodestar moved up alongside the clerk and peered at the shelf. “Can I help you with that?”
“Eheheh! Sure!” The clerk stepped aside with a brittle smile on her face. “Go right ahead, it’s alphabetical by date. I can see you have this well in hoof, so I’ll get out of your way!” Before Lodestar could respond, the pony was hurrying away somewhat more quickly than was proper.
Lodestar frowned. “Hmph. Even if she was in a hurry, she didn’t have to be so… brusque. What did I do to her?”
“I fear the problem lies not with thee, but with myself,” said Luna. “Ever since the incident with the steward, ponies have been avoiding me. I am not surprised she was so eager to leave.”
Lodestar began shuffling through the contents of the shelf. “Well, maybe Ponyville will be different.”
“I thought as much when I agreed to go there. With luck, the rumors will not have spread so far. It will be a welcome change to meet ponies who can look on me without terror. Being feared is better than being ignored, yet still it is far from pleasant.”
“Just be sure not to scare any Ponyvillains, like you did with Radiance. Even if you feel like you have a good reason, you’d end up in the same situation.”
Luna nodded. “I shall try.”
“Oh, here we are.” Lodestar pulled a sheaf of parchments from the shelf. “This looks like that census.”
“Excellent.” Luna snatched the parchments with a quick burst of telekinesis and fanned them out in front of her. “Now to use these to divine this town’s character.”
“Can you really do that with nothing but old reports?”
“I presume so, else why would we have such a thing?”


Lodestar was on her way home when she passed Morning Glory walking swiftly in the opposite direction. Lodestar smiled and waved. Morning Glory gave her a curt nod and passed by without slowing down. Her face was drawn tight and carefully blank.
Lodestar swallowed nervously as she hurried to her door and went inside. She looked around the living room for her brother. There was no sign of him.
She went to his bedroom door and found it closed. She frowned. Sunspot always left his door open. “Sunspot?” She knocked on the door. There was no answer. “I’m coming in.” She threw open the door.
Beyond was a small space, well-lit by a single enormous window, and packed with a comfortable bed, several brightly-colored beanbag chairs, and a small armoire too full to close. Sunspot was curled up on a beanbag chair and staring blankly at Morning Glory’s pink vase, which he held loosely in one hoof.
“Alright,” said Lodestar, “what happened?”
“She left me.” Sunspot’s eyes didn’t leave the vase.
Lodestar waited for Sunspot to go on. When he didn’t, she sank onto one of the bean bag chairs. “Well? You’ve got to give me more than that.”
“She said she’d had fun, but she wanted to move on. That I was taking it too seriously, and she needs more space. Then she just… walked out.”
“Then she’s a short-sighted jerk,” said Lodestar. “How are you feeling?”
“How do you think I’m feeling? I really cared about her. I mean, I’ve spent a while with one pony or another because I wanted to be with somepony, but I was with Morning Glory because I wanted to be with her. I’ve never met anyone with her drive or her energy or her way of making everything the most interesting thing in the world just because she’s interested in it. Now it turns out she just wanted to be with somepony, and I was around at the right time.”
“What you’re saying is, now you’re experiencing a breakup from the other side.”
“Yeah, and don’t think that makes this any easier,” said Sunspot. “Even if I wanted to go back to the way things were before I met her, I can’t. I’m not about to do this to anyone else. Not again, anyway.” He sighed. “Sweet Sisters, why didn’t anypony tell me it hurt this much?”
“So where do you go from here?”
“I don’t know. Where do you go when the only pony you’ve ever fallen in love with walks away without looking back?”
Lodestar reached over and smacked him lightly upside the head. “No sulking."
“Hey, come on! I’ve earned this!”
“Not that much, you haven’t. If that line were in one of your shows, you’d tell me nopony talks like that.”
“Okay, fine. But seriously, I don’t know. Morning Glory made me feel like… well, I actually didn’t know you could feel that good. Now she’s gone. I want to feel that way again, but you can’t just go out and find a pony that great.”
“Why not? You did once.”
“Yeah, I guess. It’s not easy, though.” Sunspot leaned back and let himself sink into the chair. “This whole thing stinks.”
“Well, at least you got a free vase out of it.”
“Really, Lodestar.”
“I’m serious. It’s a nice vase.”
“Come on! This isn’t funny.”
“Then why are you smiling?”
“I am not!” Sunspot managed to swallow a laugh. “I can’t believe you.”
“You’re smiling!”
Sunspot levitated a bean bag chair and flung it at Lodestar. “Let me sulk in peace, already!”


The sun was setting when Lodestar followed Luna onto the balcony outside the princess’s chambers. Beyond the black marble railing, the mountainside tumbled downwards to meet the hilly countryside. Lodestar could barely make out the lights of Ponyville in the distance. The two of them stood silently for several minutes before Luna spoke. “I would thank thee for arriving early this evening.”
“Not at all. I wasn’t about to let you leave tonight without at least seeing you off. Are you sure you don’t want me to go to Ponyville with you?”
“Indeed. It is best if I learn to do this myself without relying overmuch on any one pony.”
“That’s your sister talking.”
Luna shrugged. “Mayhaps, but she is wiser in these matters than I. Her advice doth seem sound, in any case.”
“If you say so.”
“A moment,” said Luna. “It is time.”
Luna closed her eyes in concentration, and her horn began to glow. It was faint at first, but quickly brightened until Lodestar had to look away. The sky grew darker, and the sun slipped below the horizon. Stars winked into existence, first singly, then in small groups, then quicker than the eye could follow, until they stretched across the sky. Finally, the moon floated gently over the horizon to shine across Equestria.
The glow from Luna’s horn abruptly vanished. The princess was breathing heavily, but she was smiling. “It is done. Nightmare Night has begun.”
“That was incredible! I can’t believe I never saw you do that before.”
“Thou art the first save my sister to witness that since my return.”
Lodestar peered off into the darkness outside the palace. “I think I see your carriage coming. Are you ready?”
“As ready as I am able,” said Luna. “In my studies, I also rediscovered the Royal Canterlot Voice. It seems I popularized this style before my exile, although I do not remenber doing so. I am now prepared to use it to its full effect once again.”
Lodestar shrugged. “I can’t say I’ve heard of it, but anything that helps you break the ice is bound to be a good idea.”
Two pegasi arrived outside the balcony, pulling the royal carriage. They maneuvered the carriage to the edge of the railing and hovered in place. “Your Highness,” said one of them. “We’re prepared to escort you to Ponyville whenever you’re ready.”
Lodestar paused. “I’ve never seen royal guards dressed like that before.”
“Yes, ma’am,” said the pegasus. “It’s for the festivities, ma’am. Princess Celestia’s orders, ma’am.”
Luna rolled her eyes. “My sister’s sense of humor is unsubtle as always.” She flapped her wings once, propelling herself upward and landing easily on the balcony’s railing.
“You’re sure you’re ready?” asked Lodestar.
“No,” said Luna, “but that is rather the point, is it not?”
“I suppose. I’ll be waiting to hear all about it when you get back.”
“Do not worry, Lodestar. Thou hast prepared me for this as well as anypony can. If nothing else, I will learn a great deal this night.”
“I know. And I’m glad you’re taking this step. Now go on, show those villagers that they’ve got nothing to be afraid of.”
Luna smiled. “I believe I shall.” She stepped lightly into the carriage. “Let us be off.”
The royal guards surged forward, shooting away from the balcony with the carriage in tow. Lodestar watched them go until Luna was out of sight.