Chapter 1
I was normal once.
It's true. I was an earth pony, nothing terribly special back then. I liked to eat though. I liked to eat, and I liked to cook. These two things went together quite well! My specialty wasn't baking, the Cakes had that covered. It wasn't candy, Bon Bon had that market cornered. I did larger things, such as statues.
They didn't sell every day, but for big events, like weddings and such, they made me plenty of bits to tide me over until the next chance came my way. I liked the job, and ponies liked what I made. Nibbling on chocolate in my spare time was a little side benefit.
So there I was, walking along. I felt pretty that day. My pink hair was done up in a bun and my tail was swaying with my energy. I had just come out of Lotus and Aloe's and I felt like a million bits. Even my off-white pelt was sparkling in the daylight. About the only part they didn't transform were my purple eyes, but I thought they were pretty enough as they were.
"Having a good day?"
I pulled up short. I didn't recognize the voice, and looking to its source I saw a smiling deer looking up at me. She swayed a little left and right. "I could make your day a little better. You strike me as a mare that knows what she wants."
I nodded at her slowly, unsure of what she was trying to sell me. "I try to. What are you offering?"
She pulled free a bottle of something bright yellow with green stripes running through it. "A special potion. It will allow you to taste whatever you eat, for as long as you desire." She leaned in towards me. "No matter how long that might be."
My eyes widened in surprise. "That sounds too good to be true. Why aren't you selling that to everypony instead of just me? What's the catch?"
She lifted her shoulders and scuffed the ground with her free hoof. "I'm just a deer. My name's Dancing Leaf, by the way. The ponies here don't trust me. If you try it, and like it, maybe some other ponies will open up."
I grinned, sensing an opportunity. "Sounds to me like you need me more than I need you." She shrank back a little, eyes darting. "I thought so… How much were you planning to charge for this bottle?"
Dancing gathered herself up. "Well! Since you're my first customer… I thought I'd offer a discount, just for you. My original price was 400 bits."
I coughed. 400 bits?! I could live a few months off of that kind of money.
"But for you, my brave first customer, a little lower. Say… 90% off. 40 bits." She smiled brightly and held up the bottle that could be mine. "That's not to much for something guaranteed to last as long as you want it." She saw I wasn't entirely convinced and pulled out a little funny top for the bottle. "I'll include this. This measures out exactly one serving's worth, to make sure you get the most out of your bottle."
I nodded hesitantly, then dug out my bit pouch and gave two twenty bit counts to the deer. "Deal. If I like it, I'll tell everypony how great it is, and who I got it from."
Dancing Leaf bobbed her head. "That's all I ask. That's not to much. Please, enjoy." She turned away and bounded off, almost jumping away more than a trot or a gallop. Deer were strange creatures.
I considered what to test it with. Something simple… I went to Hayburgers and picked up a favored lunch-time snack. Pouring the bottle into the cap got about a tablespoon's worth, which I splashed on the burger, then gobbled it down. About halfway through the greasy delight, I realized I was still tasting it between bites.
It was just as powerful as the first bite. It was like it was still in my mouth. It was perfect! I almost didn't even want to finish the burger, lest it somehow ruin that taste, but I went ahead and snapped down the remainder and swallowed it down. I wandered home with a full belly, and my taste buds purring. I could still taste that burger. That wonderful, delicious, and satisfying burger that danced across my tongue as strongly as ever.
I felt a little sleepy and settled for a post-lunch nap. When I woke up, things began to be odd. I yawned as I awoke and wandered towards the mirror, only to come up short. My pink hair, it had seeds in it. Sesame seeds, like the hayburger did. As I gasped in alarm, I noticed my tongue felt off, and looked twice as off. Extending it out, I could see I had a hayburger patty for a tongue. Panic welled in me as I patted myself down and looked myself over for more burgered parts.
My hooves felt soft and bun-like, and my tail smelled of pickles, but I was more pony than burger. How had this happened?! I was confused and so very scared. Then I remembered how I got the taste that still danced in my mouth. It was the potion! It had to be! How did I get rid of it? I rushed to the sink and got a glass of water, trying to wash the taste away, but it refused to abate even a little. I could still taste that burger that I was becoming.
I didn't want to be a burger! There had to be an escape. Of course! With a big grin, I quickly trotted over to some chewing gum I had and spritzed it with the potion before gobbling it up. My mouth exploded with the sweet citrusy taste of the gum and I chewed happily as the taste of the burger faded away entirely. The gum never lost its flavor, minutes later, and I realized I didn't need to chew anymore. I spat out the gum and threw it out, with the taste still strong and fresh.
The scent of pickles around my tail faded almost immediately and I let out a sigh of relief. I wouldn't become a hayburger at least. I just had to make sure I swapped tastes often enough until I found the deer. I glanced out the window and saw it was already dark. I'd find her the next day.
Deciding to not spend the time fretting, I got to cooking chocolate and preparing a pony statue. They were easily one of my better sales. Cuteceañaras, weddings, births. There's never a bad time for a pony statue of chocolate. Hay, there was that one pony that demanded one be at his funeral. Kind of sad, that one. A bunch of ponies nibbling chocolate and sniffling. That's not the way chocolate's meant to be enjoyed.
With the statue looking good, I licked the remaining chocolate free of my hooves. The gum flavor easily overwhelmed it. It seemed anything I didn't put the potion on hadn't a chance in competing, and faded almost instantly from my taste. The whole experience was getting annoying, and more than a little frightening. Would I start turning into gum? I lifted up a hoof and saw it had returned to normal.
A little shake sent sesame seeds everywhere, no longer attached to my mane. I was quickly throwing off the effects of the burger taste, but what would happen when I finished that part? Maybe I should go to the doctor? I imagined a pony doctor staring at me blankly a moment before shrugging. They didn't know anything about curses or odd potions! Oh, if only I had a friend that was into that kind of thing, but pony alchemists were practically extinct with how rare they were. I remembered vaguely one of the foals in town showed some potential, but they were still a foal. I'd just end up with two heads if I turned to her!
I looked out the window to the moon outside, wishing time could go faster, but no such fortune came to me. Instead the next step I took turned sticky. I looked down to see my hoof had become gummy, or gum. It was stuck to the floor! I carefully pried up the hoof with another and rolled over to my couch, fearful of touching anything else. My hair tingled as it became long strands of gum, unchewed and ready to pluck. Oh Celestia! Would any pony would be so crass as to yank out some of my hair to nibble on? Would it hurt?
I had to switch flavors, quickly! I barely made it to the fridge, nuzzling it open as my legs became more and more gummy. Inside I saw a lot of options. What to pick? I grabbed some jello that quivered softly near the back and poured one serving of potion on it before gobbling down the sweet strawberry gelatin. It was delicious! I licked over my snout as I settled down and took slow breaths. The gum was fading from me, allowing me to stand without feeling like I was getting glued to the floor with every step. What would I do as a jello? I wouldn't stay one, of course! I had a whole fridge of foods to swap between, if I could just…
I felt my fore left hoof suddenly go limp and it began to wobble around dangerously. How did I become a jello so quickly! I squealed as I felt the jello spread down along my tail. I didn't want this! It was like I had no bones, no structure. Everywhere it affected, I was helpless, like a bag of warm water.
Maybe something firmer? I barely nudged the fridge open with my snout as it spread far too quickly. I grabbed with my remaining good hoof and tipped over a tub of ice cream. Cookies and Cream, my favorite flavor. I tried to chew at it, but my teeth were already jelloed. It was for the best, as I remembered I had to dose it. I spritzed on the potion and slurped it down like the jello I was becoming. The flavor filled me, and I started to solidify again. "Oh thanks Celestia… Please, make it stop…"
The change didn't even wait for the jello to fade, transitioning right from jello to hard, cold, ice cream. I felt… solid… but I was ice cream! At least, my legs were. My tail looked normal at least, and my barrel was safe, for the moment. I lifted a hoof and gave it a testing lick. Oh Celestia! Why was I so delicious? The harder bits of me, like my hooves, had become the cookies, and the softer parts made up the cream, though some were mixed together to keep it random. I was doomed to suffer a delicious fate in short order. Maybe the desserts were going through too fast? Maybe a main meal would work better?" I pulled my last slice of pizza out and poured some potion onto it carefully.
I clapped my forehooves together, ice cream splatting slightly wetly. "Please let this work…"
I snapped and chomped at the pizza like it was the first meal I had in ages. I noticed just then that the dosed food never seemed to fill me up. I didn't just digest the food this way. I became it. I really made it part… Part of me… Each thing I ate became lost, fueling this strange metamorphosis.
My hair hung down into my vision and I saw it was running and greasy. It wasn't a mane. It was a carpet of dripping cheese. I drew in a shuddering breath, but the change didn't seem to be advancing, yet, so I sank down beside the fridge, and even closed it so the cold air wouldn't keep escaping. "You can do this… Just keep your head on straight."
The taste of mushrooms and pineapples still danced across my tongue. It was a tasty pizza, at least. I've been known to tuck slices away if I decide I don't like it, to just sit there forever until I tossed it away. Ugh, it could have been that. I kinda liked this flavor. I licked over my lips, and noticed my lips felt funny. I put up a hoof and felt I'd gained crust for lips! No! No no no! This was all too close to my brain. If I got locked as a pizza… No!
I threw open the door and looked around quickly. I saw something that gave me hope. It was a fish. A fish was alive, sometimes. Maybe I'd become a living fish too? That'd be a lot better than the alternatives. Not daring to even prepare the flesh, lest I turn into a fried fish, I carefully measured out some potion, the forced down the raw food, even if I wanted to gag with every bite. The worst part? The taste stayed, and I stuck out my tongue. Everything about the day was going wrong…
I felt my legs start to harden and quickly scrambled, tripping over the remains of my running grease. I made it to the bathroom and got the water going as I sealed the plug. If I did become a fish, I'd want lots of water to swim in. Yes, this was better than a big thing of pizza, or a hayburger. A smart fish could, somehow, get a message out and get turned back. I held onto that little fragment of hope and clutched to it desperately.
I felt the pizza flush away, and my body felt wonderfully normal. The effects of the spa visit were eradicated, but I was hardly in the mood to care about that. The horrible stench of raw fish was in my mouth, warning me what could be coming next. Not wanting to take any chances, I slowly sank my hooves in the water, then laid on my belly in the tub as it filled with warm water.
It was late in the day, and despite my terror, the warm water was very relaxing. I lost track of time, and only came to when I began hearing the sound of water splashing on the floor. I started awake, realizing the tub was overflowing. I quickly slapped at the knobs to find my legs had massive fins attached to them. It was happening! I started breathing quickly even as I tried to calm myself. I slowly turned the water off and rose from the water, only to realize I couldn't breath! At least, not the way I was used to.
I had gills along my neck that flapped in the air desperately until I sank back into the water and the awful drowning sensation faded with it. This was it. I was really turning into a fish. I'd be a gross, disgusting, but at least alive, fish.
That's when I noticed it. There was a cut forming along my side, right where the original fish was cut open. I was going to become a gutted fish! I wouldn't be alive at all. I'd bleed everywhere and die in my own tub. Heart hammering, I scrambled from the tub and made my way towards the kitchen. My hindlegs were little more than big fish tail, and I was all wet. I couldn't get any traction and slipped and slid all over the place, trying desperately to get back to my food. Anything was better than this! Even if I had to stay up all night bouncing between different foods.
I bumped against the chocolate statue I had finished and it crashed down on me, bits of chocolate flying everywhere as it shattered on painful impact.
Chocolate! Chocolate counted as food if gum counted as food. I held some and giggled manically, hoping to save my own life. Wait, where was that potion? I looked around in a frantic search and saw it lying on the kitchen counter. I flopped and I thrashed towards it, feeling the cut lengthen and lengthen. It hurt! It hurt and I knew it'd kill me if I let it get too far.
I slapped a hoof on that counter, gasping for air I couldn't breathe. I found the bottle and pulled it over onto myself. It splashed all over me and the chocolate before it shattered on the ground. It was gone, part of the waterlogged mess of my floor. I didn't care much at the time. I devoured the soaking chocolate and was overwhelmed with a new flavor. It was so sweet, so tart. So… perfectly chocolate. It was so powerful it dwarfed everything else I had eaten that day.
I sank down to the ground, panting as my lungs started working properly, and the wound began to heal. I was in time! I wouldn't be murdered on my own floor… I wouldn't make a horrible puddle of blood.
I shuddered in terror at the idea even as I tried to sit up, looking around and thinking a little more rationally with the immediate danger of death behind me. That's when it really sank in. The bottle was gone, and I ate that chocolate with way more than the regular dose. What was it going to do to me? I flopped forward a little Whatever it was going to do, I had nothing left to fight it with. May Celestia have mercy on me, since that deer's horrible potion wouldn't have any.
If I was going to die, or become a snack for someone else, I'd at least go comfortably. I rose up to my hooves even as the fishy parts receded and walked slowly to my bedroom. I smiled forlornly at my bed. "Hello, old friend. Seems you're the last one I'll see." I clambered up and pulled the blanket over myself as the last of my fins faded. I felt a powerful tingling. Something was happening. Did I dare even look? At first I wanted to deny it, to just close my eyes and let it happen without my support, as silly an idea of supporting something you had no control over.
I couldn't take it. I threw the blanket off to the side and gasped. The chocolate was spreading up along my hind legs, leaving smooth chocolate behind wherever it reached and absorbing my fur along the way. My tail became a delicate arc of chocolate and I felt the urge to stand up. I was becoming stiffer and stiffer, but I could still move. It was spreading, quickly. I felt…
I felt delicious. The taste still danced in my mouth. Whoever got a chance to eat me was in for a real treat. A shame I wouldn't be there to see it. Or maybe it was a mercy. I rose up on my frozen hindlegs, kicking the air. "I don't want to go this way!"
The universe did not see fit to give me mercy, and I froze right where I kicked. The chocolate swept up over my neck, my entire barrel now sweet and edible, just as I would soon be entirely. I expected my vision to dim, to go away, but it never did. The chocolate swept up over the last of my head, turning my mane into chocolate, all of me into chocolate, but I could still see. I could still hear, and even touch to a degree. I was alive, sort of.
I waited in my prison for days until somepony wandered in. It was Pinkie. She was a great customer. "Hello?" I heard her opening doors and searching around. "Are you alright? What happened? It's me, Pinkie! If you need help, just shout."
Oh, how I would have loved to shout. I tried. I tried so hard, but I was a chocolate statue. Chocolate does not scream. Then the bedroom door opened. There she was, looking at me quizzically. "Oh, she did get my order! She musta took a vacation afterwards." She reached for me and plucked me right off the bed. "What a beauty! And even bigger than I thought it'd be. She really outdid herself. I'll have to get her a thank you card later." She walked off with me. I struggled and tried to call to her, but she noticed none of that. How could she?
She carried me through ponyville, my hooves still held up in defiance, but nopony noticed me other than a sweet thing Pinkie was carrying, and that was hardly unusual.
Pinkie took me to what looked to be a party in construction. She set me on a table and nodded. "Diamond Tiara and the foals are gonna be so happy to see you!" She kissed her hoof and touched it to my nose and I felt a soft tingle. I wanted to beg her to do it again, but she was already gone.
And that's where I ended up. Now I was surrounded by squealing, running, and hungry little foals. Their adorable little teeth would find my chocolate hide eventually, snap me up, and then I would really be gone. What cruel fate was this, allowing me to see everything until I was properly murdered? Did I offend somepony that badly?
A little foal suddenly ducked behind me. It was… Apple Bloom! I remembered her. She seemed so scared as she looked around. "I just haveta
get out of here…"
What was she running from? I wanted to comfort her, and suddenly she stopped.
Apple Bloom locked eyes with me, then moved in closer, licking her lips.
Oh, I would comfort her, the only way a chocolate should. Fine… If it made that little filly happier, at least I did something useful in my final moments.
She bit at my snout, snapping it right off and chewing at the muzzle thoughtfully. I expected pain, or nothing, not this sudden rapture that flooded through me. It was… It was my destiny to be eaten. I was feeling the pure satisfaction of fulfilling my purpose, simple as it was. Yes, eat me!
She snapped off some of my tail and chewed it vigorously as another foal wandered over. "Hey, I'm Scootaloo, you look like you could use some… can I try some of that?"
"Sure thang!" She broke off my entire tail and offered half to Scootaloo. I writhed motionlessly in ecstatic horror. It felt so good, but I was being devoured. I would be gone soon!
Another filly wandered up with a smile. "Hi!" she squeaked in a high pitch. "Can I join you?"
"Sure!" exclaimed Scootaloo. "What's your name?" She broke off one of my forelegs and offered it to the new filly.
She accepted it and began devouring it. "My name's Sweetie Belle! Nice to meet you both."
They talked, and a part of me heard them. They were forging a friendship. I smiled internally. I hoped it was a friendship that would last… Far longer than I would.
Scootaloo gasped. "Her barrel's filled with caramel!"
Apple Bloom tilted her head. "Wow! That sure is fancy, but there ain't no way we can finish that all off."
They called for the other children who swarmed over me, at first with surprise, then they began to nibble and lick and drink. I was going away. I could feel everything going dark until the last bit of my back went into an adorable mouth. With her little chews, I was free!
I woke with a start, sitting up in my bed with a terrible shudder. I scrambled to my hooves and rushed to the front room. It was still a complete mess. It hadn't been a dream. I'd been a chocolate statue. I'd… I'd been eaten. But I was alive? I patted myself down before giving a hysterical little laugh. "Celestia be praised!"
Some force had taken pity on me, and given me another chance. I would treasure every moment. Every moment of every day! I threw open my window. "Hello Ponyville!"
A stallion tipped his hat at me before walking along. He didn't know what I was happy about, but I knew. I knew and I'd never forget!
Why did my mouth still taste of chocolate?