> The Pursuit of Knowledge > by Maltrazz > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Chapter 1: What is a Mare...? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Thank goodness,” Twilight whispered, as light washed over the Empire, shattering the dark crystals that King Sombra had spawned. Hearing the dark king’s roar of defeat, she added, “Good job, Spike.” As she turned away from the window to examine the crystalline coat that the Crystal Heart had temporarily given her, Twilight failed to notice something come flying through the window. A sinister silver and red crown, which landed in her shadow. Unbeknownst to her, the crown began to melt into shadow itself, mixing with that cast by the young mare. For a moment, Twilight felt a wave of dizziness, but it passed quickly, and when she looked around, nothing seemed out of place. Turning to the stairs, she muttered, “Well, I better get back to the others, and make sure everyone’s alright.” “Sombra… exploded!?” Twilight said in surprise, after hearing what had happened from her friends. ‘Murderer…’ A voice whispered in the back of her mind. Seeing the expression of guilt on her sister-in-law’s face, Cadence placed a reassuring hoof on her shoulder, and said, “It had to be done. He would have enslaved everypony here if we had not stopped him.” “Yeah… you’re right.” Twilight replied. However, the voice spoke up again, ‘Justifications do not change what you have done…’ Twilight was on the train back to Canterlot, as she listened to Spike telling their friends what had happened beneath the Crystal Palace. “…And then I saw Twilight just staring at this doorway. I got her to look away, but when I looked into it I found myself back in Ponyville, and Twilight was making me leave, saying she didn’t need me anymore. Of course, it turned out to just be an illusion caused by Sombra’s Dark Magic, but it was horrible.” Spike shuddered at the memory, before asking, “Was what you saw that bad, Twilight?” “I saw…” Twilight started to reply, but stopped as she heard the whisper in the back of her mind again. ‘Afraid of failing a test…’ The voice said, ‘After hearing the dragon’s fear of losing the pony closest to him, won’t that sound rather shallow to them? That you considered a test more important than all of them?’ “…I’d rather not say.” Twilight finished, as she turned to look out the windows, unable to look at her friends at that moment, out of shame. “That’s alright, Twilight,” Fluttershy said. “If it’s that bad, you don’t have to talk about it.” Of course, being shown such kindness at that moment only made her feel worse. “Far better that I have a student that understands the meaning of self-sacrifice, than one that only looks out for her own best interests.” Celestia told Twilight after she had returned to Canterlot Castle. “Does that mean…?” Twilight asked hopefully. A few moments later, the young unicorn burst outside, shouting happily, “I passed!” Her friends were quick to congratulate her, but she could not ignore the voice that popped up once again. ‘So much for ‘self-sacrifice’, eh? In the end, passing the test is more important to you than saving an Empire, isn’t it?’ Twilight tried to keep smiling for her friends, but that thought ruined any mood to celebrate she may have had before. By the time Twilight had returned to her library, the voice the kept popping up had left her feeling quite depressed. It pointed out everything she had done wrong that day, or why what she had done right she had done for the wrong reasons. Needless to say, she was more than ready to simply go to sleep and call it a day. “Is something wrong, Twilight?” Spike asked, having eventually picked up on her increasingly depressed mood. “It’s nothing, Spike.” Twilight replied, although her tone belied her downtrodden emotional state. “I’m just ready for the day to be over.” ‘A new day, full of new mistakes.’ The voice kept up its barrage of negative comments. Quietly, Twilight headed up to her room, hoping the voice of what she assumed was her conscience would be gone when she woke up. However, the voice was not willing to let her escape into unconsciousness so easily. ‘Murderer. Self-centered. Failure. You care about too many things, and disappoint on every front as a result.’ After tossing and turning for hours, Twilight managed to get to sleep. However, it proved to be no respite… “I can’t believe you really killed him.” Fluttershy said, looking at Twilight in fear. “I didn’t mean to!” Twilight protested. “Yeah, we only needed to stop Sombra.” Pinkie Pie added, her hair wilted in sadness. “That’s all I wanted to do!” “Why didn’t you warn me the Heart was going to kill him?” Spike asked, looking distraught at the thought of having played a part in that. “I didn’t know, I swear!” “I can’t believe ya were more scared o’ failin’ some test than losin’ all o’ us.” Applejack said scornfully. “It’s not like that! I just-” “Yeah, some friend you turned out to be.” Rainbow Dash said in turn, an expression of disgust on her face. “I didn’t think abou-” “And all those Crystal Ponies. Did saving them count for nothing?” Rarity spoke up, looking offended at the thought. “Of course they d-” “What happened to you? The filly I sat for would never have done such thing!” Cadence words cut in. “I didn’t mean for it to be this way! I didn’t…” “I can’t believe I’m related to such terrible pony.” Shining Armor’s voice was filled with shame. “Shining Armor… don’t say that…” “To see my prized student turn out to be such a monster…” Celestia’s voice was filled with disappointment. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” As Twilight broke into tears, those around her turned away, and began to retreat into the omnipresent darkness. “Please, don’t leave me…” “So many fears, for one with so much potential.” “Who… who’s there?” Twilight asked, not recognizing the voice. “Where are you?” “Neither of those things matter now.” The voice said softly. “What matters now is what I can do for you.” “What do you mean?” Twilight asked, calming down, and curiosity displaced her sadness. “I can take away your fears. Fear of abandonment. Fear of failure. Even the fear of seeing such disapproving looks on those you care for. I can make sure you never feel such fears again. Will you let me, Twilight? Will you let me in, so I can help you?” “Can… can you really do that?” Twilight asked hopefully. “I can. Your fears, your insecurities, I can take them away. I can take them all away. You just have to let me…” Twilight looked around at the empty darkness that surrounded her, before whispering, “…Okay.” “Excellent!” The voice roared, its soft, soothing tone disappearing in an instant. Suddenly, the darkness surged forward, wrapping itself around her, and seeping into her flesh. As she struggled against the solid blackness, Twilight looked behind herself for the first time. Hanging in the darkness were a familiar pair of red and green eyes, surrounded by a purple aura. “Sombra!” Twilight gasped, before growling out, “I should have known were you somehow responsible for this!” The ancient tyrant’s laughter echoed throughout the darkness. “That’s King Sombra, although I am now nothing more than a fraction of the stallion I once was. But don’t be worried, Twilight Sparkle. I fully intend to keep my word.” “What do you me?” Twilight asked in confusion, as she continued to struggle. “Why would you help me?” “What is a stallion, but a miserable pile of secrets? I have my reasons, but there’s no need for you to know them just yet.” Sombra countered. “And I doubt you will consider it ‘help’ until I’ve finished!” The darkness gripping her form forced Twilight to look forward, before she could get him to clarify. However, her eyes widened as she saw those that she loved standing before her. “Let’s start with those ‘friends’ of yours.” At Sombra’s words, the five mares which Twilight was closest to, began to fade away. “What are you doing to them!?” Twilight asked in panic. “Oh? What am I doing to whom?” Sombra asked tauntingly. “Whomever are you talking about?” “I’m talking about… about…” Twilight trailed off as the five disappeared completely. Her panicked tone was replaced by confusion, as she asked, “Who was I talking about?” Sombra just chuckled instead of answering, before saying, “Next, that pesky brother and sister-in-law of yours. A bit more difficult here.” The two in question seemed to shrink, Shining Armor only slightly, but Cadence reverting to how see looked as Twilight’s foalsitter, both becoming blurred as well. “What did you… do to them?” Twilight confusion only grew worse. “Did you do something to them?” “Lastly, the Teacher and the Assistant, the most delicate removal of all.” Sombra said, as he continued to work his magic. Although neither changed overtly, both seemed to grow blurry and indistinct, neither quite as present as they had been moments before. “Something is… different… or is it?” As the darkness released her, Twilight collapsed, pressing her front hooves to her head. Her head did not hurt, it just felt ‘fuzzy’, like she was having trouble thinking. “What is a mare, but the sum of her memories?” Twilight raised her head to see an armored stallion with strange eyes and an equally odd horn approaching her. ‘I feel like I should know him, but I’m not sure…’ Twilight thought, before asking, “Who are you? What’s going on?” “Twilight, do you not remember me?” The stallion asked. Seeing her shake her head, he went on. “No matter, just know that I’m here to help you. As for what’s going on, you seem to have taken a blow to the head last night, and are currently resting in the library in Ponyville.” “But, that would mean this was a dream,” Twilight replied, as the fuzziness began to lift from her mind. She still felt like there was something missing, but her thoughts were clear once more. “Does that mean you’re a dream, or do you somehow have the power to enter ponies’ dreams?” “Oh, I am quite real, but I exist solely in your mind.” The stallion replied with a smile. “It is quite complicated, but once you have recovered, and perhaps done a bit of research into mind-effecting magic, I shall be able to explain it in further detail. For now, rest. I’m sure you’ll have quite the eventful day ahead of you tomorrow…” With that, Sombra’s horn glowed with magic, and the dream faded. As Twilight awoke, it took her a moment to gather her bearings. “Where am I?” She muttered, “This isn’t my room…” “You are in Ponyville, remember?” Twilight blinked as the voice in her head brought back the dream she had… or at least what she could remember of it. “Ponyville… I came here for… the Summer Sun Celebration? And Nightmare Moon!” Quickly looking out the window, she breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of the sun rising in the sky. “I don’t remember exactly what happened, but I guess I managed to stop her, or was worrying about nothing to begin with. Either way, I guess I’d better get ready to head back to Canterlot.” Seeing Spike still asleep, she plucked the blanket off of him as she trotted downstairs, saying, “Wake up, Spike. We need to get packed quickly, if we’re going to make the first train back to Canterlot. I want to get back to my studies as fast as possible.” “Huh?” The little dragon replied groggily. “Why are we going to Canterlot?” “Well, now that the Summer Sun Celebration is over, there’s no reason for us to stay here, now is there?” Twilight said, as she found her bag, and began packing up quills and parchment and the like. This only confused Spike further, as he asked, “What are you talking about, Twilight? The Summer Sun Celebration was months ago.” That caused Twilight to become confused in turn. “What are you talking about? My memory of last night might be a bit fuzzy, but why in Equestria would I spend months in some tiny little town like this, when I could be studying back in Canterlot?” “Maybe because of your friends?” Spike asked, starting to get genuinely worried. “Spike, we’ve had this conversation before.” Twilight said in exasperation. “My studies come first. I don’t have time for any of this ‘friendship’ nonsense.” “Twilight… Do you really not remember anything from here in Ponyville?” Spike asked. Before she could reply, the voice in the back of her mind spoke up again. “A joke from time to time is all well and good, but if you have to wait for the next train, you’ll lose quite a bit of time better spent studying.” At that, Twilight said, “If you insist on continuing this nonsense, Spike, then feel free to stay here. I’ll be waiting for you back in Canterlot when you’re ready to continue actually helping me with my studies.” As Twilight walked out the door, Spike looked after her in shock.