Dinner and Drinks
“Come on, Twilight, this isn’t healthy,” Spike said as he looked at the terrifyingly organized bookshelves in the castle. The purple pony who had organized them was still hovering near the top, making adjustments so small that Spike’s eyes couldn’t see a difference.
“Twilight?” Spike called again, but still the Princess ignored him.
Spike bit his lip. He knew that Twilight could get hyper focused like this, to the point where the rest of the world ceased to exist for her. He’d have to do something jarring in order to break her out of this, but what? He supposed he could pull out a book or two and toss them on the floor, but he didn’t feel right about that.
“Got it!” Spike said as he snapped his claws. “Twilight! I, uh, just got a message from Princess Celestia!”
Whoosh! The Alicorn was standing right in front of Spike an instant later, her eyes wide like a filly’s. “The Princess? Where is it? What does it say?” She leaned in closer with each question, until Spike was bent over backward trying to keep his distance.
“Uh…well,” Spike swallowed. He didn’t feel any better lying to Twilight. Suddenly, throwing a book or two seemed like the better option, but he was already committed to this path. He was about to make something up, but then he remembered the last time he had pretended to speak for a Princess.
“Well, Spike?” Twilight asked, her eyes still beaming.
“Sorry, Twilight,” Spike replied, hanging his head. “There’s not letter. I made it up.”
The look of disappoint on Twilight’s face nearly crushed Spike into the floor. “Oh,” was all she said as her wings and ears drooped.
“But I had to say something!” Spike protested as Twilight turned to go back to the bookshelves. “You weren’t answering me. You’ve been locked up in here for hours now! I’m worried about you.”
Twilight turned around and offered a weak smile. “Thanks, Spike. I’m fine. I’m just…bored.”
“I know. You’ve been saying that for the past three days.” Spike looked past the pony and at the shelves. It was truly frightening what Twilight could accomplish in terms of organization. “I think even the books know it now.”
“Ugh.” Twilight planted her rump on the floor and rolled her eyes as she looked up at the ceiling. “I can’t help it! Rarity and Applejack got called away by the map! Fluttershy is having another of her tea times with Discord, Rainbow got called on for more Wonderbolt stuff, and no pony has seen Pinkie Pie. All my friends in Ponyville are busy. It seems like I’m the only one who’s just…here.”
“Well…” Spike scratched his chin, trying to think of something for Twilight to do. “I’m sure the Mayor needs help with something.”
“Already helped her plan Winter Wrap Up,” Twilight replied. “For the next three seasons.”
Spike blinked. “Well...what about the Cakes?”
“Turns out I’m a bit...clumsy with my wings in the kitchen when fillies are running around.” Twilight blushed as she spoke.
“The, uh, Cutie Mark Crusaders?”
“Trying to figure out what they’re going to do for the Sisterhooves Social now that Applejack and Rarity are out of town.”
“Cheerilee?” Spike offered as his last hope.
“Tried,” Twilight said, her ears drooping even more. “Apparently, most fillies can’t be given a thirty-two volume work load in one day.”
Most ponies couldn’t even handle that! Spike thought with disbelief. He sometimes forgot that Twilight was a bit…knowledge crazy. The only other pony he had met who even came close to her was Moon—
“Moondancer!” Spike said suddenly.
“Yes?” Twilight asked.
“Minuette! Lemon Hearts! Twinkleshine!” Spike’s emotions lifted with each name he spoke.
“What about them, Spike?” Twilight asked, slightly annoyed.
“Twilight, you have other friends!” Spike offered with a grand smile. “What about seeing what they’re all up to?”
“Well, I guess—” Twilight suddenly froze. She blinked once, but then moved no more.
“Twilight?” Spike asked. He reached out and gently poked her and then recoiled, fearing she might explode or something. “You still there?”
“Lyra!” Twilight shouted immediately, her wings whipping out to their full extent as she spoke.
Spike jumped in surprise and fell to the floor. “Uh…yeah. Her too?” he said as he rubbed the back of his head.
“I never went to apologize to Lyra! And she lives right here in Ponyville!” Twilight zipped over to Spike and pressed her forehead against his, her purple eyes swelling with panic. “Oh Spike, this is terrible! What if Minuette and the others all told Lyra that I came to see them, and she feels left out? Oh no no no! What am I gonna do?”
Spike opened his mouth to remind Twilight that she had gone through this exact situation already, and everything had turned out fine. He also was about to remind her that if Lyra was anything like he remembered her, she would be even more forgiving than Minuette. He was even about to remind her that even Moondancer, the one pony that Twilight had actually hurt, had forgiven her and was now a good friend, so there really wasn’t anything to worry about.
The dragon was about to remind Twilight of all those things, but then he snapped his mouth shut as he looked once again at the painstakingly organized bookshelf.
“Gee, Twilight,” he said instead as he rolled his eyes. “You better go find Lyra right away.”
“Thank you, Spike!” Twilight gave him a quick hug and then bolted out of the room, leaving Spike laying on the floor in relief.
“Well, at least she’s not bored anymore,” the dragon said to the ceiling.
* * *
Twilight walked through the streets of Ponyville, smiling nervously at every pony that waved at her. A few of them tried to get her to stop and talk, even if it was no more than a friendly greeting, but she kept walking with a polite, “I’m really busy right now, sorry,” to all of them.
“It’s fine,” the Princess said to herself as she began walking down the main street in the small town. “The others all forgave you. I’m sure Lyra will too. Oh, but what if she doesn’t? What if Minuette already came to visit and told her all about it, and now she thinks I just don’t like her? What if she’s so upset that she refuses to ever speak to me again? Oh, what am I gonna do? She probably hates my guts!”
Twilight suddenly realized that she was now hovering above the street while wilding running her hooves through her mane in what Spike referred to as one of her “episodes”. Several ponies on the ground were looking up at her too.
“Are you alright, Your Majesty?” one of them asked.
“Heh.” Twilight blushed and slowly lowered herself back to the ground. “I’m fine. Uh, got to go!”
Twilight took off running down the street, hiding her embarrassment behind her wings. The thought that running while her eyes were covered wasn’t safe occurred to her, and she immediately began to pull her feathers away from—
“Whoa!”
“Argh!”
Twilight slammed into another pony and both of them tumbled to the ground. Twilight’s head spun and she groaned as she felt the other pony come to rest on top of her. She was about to say something, but then a full basket of vegetables and fruits spilled onto her head.
The sound of stifled laughter greeted Twilight’s ears as she pulled the basket off of her head. The laughter turned into a full fit of giggles as Twilight looked up and saw that a head of cabbgae was speared on her horn.
“Careful, Minuette. I think assaulting a Princess is at least two days in a dungeon,” the laughing pony said.
“What?!” Twilight asked in horror. “Oh, no no no! I would never—I mean, it was entirely my fault and—”
“Hi Twilight!” a voice behind her said. “Mm…your wings sure are soft.”
“Minuette?” Twilight craned her neck around, causing a few more vegetables to fall on her face, and saw the blue Unicorn draped over her back. The Unicorn had several diced carrots in her blue and white mane, but she was too busy rubbing Twilight’s wings against her cheeks to care.
“Oh my gosh, Minuette I am so sorry! I didn’t see you and—eep!” Twilight squeaked as Minuette rubbed the tip of her wing.
“Oops! Sorry, Twilight,” Minuette said, blushing a little as she released the wing. “They’re just so soft. So, what brings you crashing into town?” The Unicorn’s face lit up with a blinding white smile as she spoke.
“Actually, I was looking for—Oh my gosh, are you okay?!” Twilight’s eyes widened with horror as she looked at the Unicorn’s face. A long trickle of blood was running down her brow. Had Twilight done that with her horn? “We need to get you to the hospital!”
“Huh?” Minuette looked up and rubbed her head with her hoof. “Relax, Twilight. It’s just grapes…or what’s left of them, anyway.” She licked the liquid off of her hoof and smiled.
“Berry’s going to kill you for that,” the other pony said, but Twilight was still looking at Minuette.
“Nah. I bought this!” Minuette rummaged around on top of Twilight for a moment, and then her eyes lit up when she spied what she was looking for. Twilight squeaked as the item was yanked out from under her stomach. “It should go nicely with dinner.”
“It goes nicely just by itself for her.”
Minuette giggled as she held up a bottle of wine. She then set it down on the ground with her magic, but she still hadn’t made any effort to get off of Twilight. She continued laying across her back as she returned her attention to the Princess.
“So, what’s up?” she asked with a smile.
“Minuette! You have to help me! You haven’t seen Lyra recently, have you?” Twilight pleaded from under the Unicorn.
“Yeah. In fact, I’m—woah!”
Twilight stood up so fast that the blue pony was launched off of her back. “You haven’t told her that I came to visit all of you in Canterlot, have you?” she asked as her wings puffed out.
“Yep,” Minuette replied as she lay on her back in the street. “We were chatting about it just—”
“Oh no!” Twilight sat on the ground and clutched her head with her hooves. “This is awful! What am I going to do? She probably hates me now!”
Minuette’s eyes looked past Twilight for a moment and then she snorted with laughter. “Uh, why do you think Lyra hates you, Twilight?” she asked, trying to keep from laughing.
“Because I never went to see her!” Twilight hung her head and sank back down onto her stomach. “I tracked down you, Lemon Hearts, Twinkleshine, and Moondancer, but I never went and saw her. Just imagine how awful she must feel! I mean, she lives right here in Ponyville, but I couldn’t even take the time to see her!”
Minuette couldn’t hold it anymore. She cracked up laughing. Twilight stared at her as if the Unicorn had gone mad as she rolled around laughing.
“See?” Minuette said between tears. “I…I told you she was like that! All flustered and whatnot.”
“I…” Twilight struggled to find the right words to respond to her friend. Minuette clearly didn’t understand how serious of a problem this was! She, the Princess of Friendship, lived in the same town as a pony that most likely couldn’t stand her now! How was she supposed to call herself a Princess with something like that hanging over her head?
“Oh Twilight, I think that cabbage is crushing that big brain of yours,” Minuette said. She wiped the tears from her eyes and finally stood up.
“Huh?” Twilight asked. Minuette pointed to her horn and Twilight suddenly remembered the green plant impaled on her head. She blushed, pulled it off, and then, seeing no other place to put it, gently placed it in the basket that had fallen on her head before. She then turned back to Minuette—who was still giggling to herself as her eyes kept darting between Twilight and whatever was behind her—and took a deep breath.
“Minuette, please. This is serious. I need to go apologize to Lyra! Do you know where she is?”
Minuette giggled more and covered her mouth with her hoof. “Mm-hm,” she mumbled as she nodded.
“Great! Will you come with me, please? I need to explain what happened, and, well…you’re a better friend to her than me, so…”
Again, Minuette nodded, struggling to keep her laughter in check.
“Excellent! Where is she?” Twilight felt her spirits lifting, along with her wings.
Minuette used her free hoof to point past Twilight.
“She lives over there? Okay, let’s get—ah!”
Twilight back peddled so fast as she turned around that she lost her balance and fell onto her back. She landed in front of Minuette and the blue Unicorn stared down at her, the smile on her face barely holding back her laughter.
A second later, the pony Twilight had almost bumped into as she had started to turn around appeared and stared down at her too.
“Hiya, Twilight!” Lyra Heartstrings said as she stared down with her sunglow colored eyes and a warm smile. “How are you doing? Say, you’re not going to lock Minuette up in the dungeon for crashing into you, are you?”
“Uh…” Twilight stared up at the two Unicorns in shock. “No…?”
“Ah, too bad,” Lyra said, her ears drooping a little.
“Hey!” Minuette protested, shooting Lyra a look.
“What? Berry would have liked you being chained up like that.”
Minuette’s face turned bright red, in shocking contrast to her sky blue fur, and she quickly looked at anything but Lyra and Twilight. “Er…well, uh…probably…”
Twilight suddenly realized that she was privy to information she probably wasn’t meant to be hearing and she turned a shade of red that rivaled her friend’s.
“Anyway,” Lyra said, a smirk crossing her face as she offered a hoof to help Twilight up. “How have you been, Twilight? We haven’t talked since you helped me pack my stuff when I was moving.”
Twilight took the offered hoof and stood up. “I…helped you move?” she asked, perplexed.
“Oh, right! You never realized that’s what we were doing!” Minuette chimed in, a smile crossing her face as memories flooded her mind. “You were so excited about the books that you totally missed it. What did you call it…?”
“Mid-Summer Reorganization Day,” Lyra said, and then she and Minuette both laughed.
“You were moving that day!?” Twilight asked as her jaw dropped. “But…why didn’t anypony tell me? I thought you were just…”
“Don’t worry about it, Twilight,” Lyra said with a wave of her hoof. “We were just happy you showed up. And you did an excellent job of packing all of my books.”
“But! I didn’t even say good-bye! I didn’t…oh, you must think I’m the worst pony ever.”
“Pssh! Not even close.” Lyra waved the thought away with her hoof. “We all knew what you were like.”
“But then I didn’t come see you, even after I saw everypony else!” Twilight protested. “Can you ever forgive me?”
Lyra and Minuette looked at each other for a half second and then nodded before Lyra looked back at Twilight. “Tell you what, Twilight. You come have dinner at our place, and we’ll call it even.”
“Deal!” Twilight said. She then looked at Minuette and blinked in surprise. “Our place? Wait…are you two, um…?”
Minuette and Lyra exchanged glances once again, and then the both started laughing.
“No way, Twilight!” Lyra said. “Berry would shave me bald if I tried to take Minuette away. Besides, I’m taken too.”
“Oh,” Twilight said, feeling a bit sheepish.
“We were just out doing some last minute shopping for dinner,” Minuette added. “They sent us out while they stayed home to cook.”
“And it’s about time we got back!” Lyra said as she looked up at the clock tower in Ponyville. “If we’re not there in time, Bon Bon is going to be really sore with me. This way, Twilight.”
* * *
Twilight sat on a small couch inside Lyra’s house. Her stomach was filled with some of the best home-cooked food she had had in a long time, thanks in mainly to Lyra’s wife, Bon Bon. Apparently, the cream-colored Earth pony wasn’t just a master at sweets, but an amazing cook, too.
As she rubbed her full belly, her brain began to run over the shocking information she had learned at dinner.
Lyra was married. Married! And Twilight had had no idea! She stared at the Earth pony who was elegantly laying down on the couch next to her old friend. She had seen Bon Bon around Ponyville many times, and now that she thought about, she had seen her and Lyra around each other an awful lot.
But married? And it wasn’t just some new thing, like Cranky and Matilda’s wedding. Apparently, they had gotten engaged at Shining Armor and Princess Cadance’s wedding. That had been a few years ago, and Twilight had had no idea! She felt awful about it.
The Princess turned her gaze to the other two ponies in the calm living room. Minuette was curled up on the couch, almost like a cat. She was resting her head on the rather curvy flank of a plum colored Earth pony who was gently rubbing the Unicorn’s tousled mane.
Minuette’s face was flushed a cheery pink as she smiled with her eyes closed. She had apparently been married to this Berry Punch for even longer than Lyra had been married to Bon Bon.
And I had no idea! Twilight thought with a mix of disbelief and shame.
The five mares had all enjoyed a pleasant dinner and were now relaxing in Lyra and Bon Bon’s living room. Minuette had opened the bottle of wine, much to Berry’s delight, and poured each of them a glass. Twilight had taken a few sips from hers, while Lyra and Bon Bon had mostly finished theirs and Minuette had been on her second before she had fallen asleep.
Twilight was pretty sure Berry was on her fourth glass now.
“I still can’t believe you thought I was in trouble again!” Lyra said as she nudged Bon Bon. “It’s like you don’t trust me!”
“Gee, Lyra, let’s think about that, shall we?” Bon Bon replied with a roll of her eyes. “The last time a Princess showed up with you, you were beaten and bruised and had almost unleashed a crazy spirit on all of Equestria!”
“What?” Twilight blurted out, causing Lyra to jump slightly and Bon Bon to blink. “I didn’t hear anything about that!”
“It’s cool, Twilight,” Lyra replied, waving her hoof. “Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and I handled it.”
“But…but…!” Twilight stammered. “How? When?”
“Oh, I do that sort of thing all the time,” Lyra said, missing the point of Twilight’s interrogation. “You remember all those books you helped me pack back in Canterlot? I’m always chasing leads I get from them.”
“Gets her into trouble a lot too,” Bon Bon added, her voice a bit stern. “She has a nasty habit of not telling me where she’s going or what she’s up to.”
Lyra reached over and tapped the end of Bon Bon’s nose and said, “Boop. Says the mare who apparently worked for Prin—mmph!”
“Anyway,” Bon Bon said as she stuffed her hoof in Lyra’s mouth and let out a nervous laugh. “Thank you ever so much for stopping by, Your Majesty. I hope you had a nice time.”
“I did,” Twilight replied. “Your cooking is amazing, Bon Bon. But, it’s just, Lyra, are you sure you’re not upset or…?”
“Wow, Collie was right about you,” Berry chimed in.
“Huh?” Twilight said as she turned to look at the Earth pony.
Berry drained her wine glass in another gulp and then set it down. “She said you were pulling your feathers out over how you treated her and your other friends in Canterlot.”
“Collie?” Twilight asked. “Oh no! Did I forget somepony else?!”
“Collie is Minuette, Twilight,” Lyra whispered into Twilight’s ear. “Not sure where the nickname comes from, but it’s her.”
“Oh,” Twilight whispered back.
“Really though, Princess, you need to relax,” Berry continued as she refilled her glass. “You keep carrying this guilt around and you’re going to crush yourself.”
“But…we were friends!” Twilight protested. Without thinking, she raised her wine glass to her lips and took a big gulp to wet her whistle for her impending speech. “And I treated them both horribly! I didn’t know Lyra moved to Ponyville, even though I’ve seen her around here so many times! I didn’t know she was married! I didn’t even know Minuette was married, and I took the time to apologize and catch up with her! I didn’t even know both of them liked mares! I’m supposed to be the Princess of Friendship, and even when I try my best, I still find out I don’t know anything about being a good friend!”
“Well, this will blow your mind then, Princess,” Berry said, a grin spreading across her face. “Did you know Collie and me have a daughter?”
Twilight’s jaw fell so fast and hard that she was certain it was on the floor. Her purple eyes felt like they were about to burst out of her head as they widened in their sockets. For a brief moment, she had the strange sensation of her mind being completely void of any thought.
“There it goes,” Lyra said. “Poof! Bye, brain.”
Bon Bon nudged Lyra, but she giggled at the joke.
Berry simply sat on the other couch, smiling and stroking her wife’s mane.
“How…does that work?” Twilight finally asked. It was the only sentence her mind could come up with.
“Well, you see, it’s a bit harder for two mares, but, well…Collie is a Unicorn and it turns out if you use your horn and stick—oof!”
“Stop embarrassing Twilight,” Minuette said as she gently jabbed Berry in the side. The blue Unicorn opened one blue eye and looked at Twilight. “I did no such thing with my horn.”
“Oh,” Twilight said, although her entire face was still blazing hot for some reason.
“I simply used a spell and turned myself into a stallion for a night.”
“WHAT?!”
Minuette smiled as big as she could and Berry started laughing uncontrollably. Lyra snickered and laughed into her hoof while Bon Bon tried, and failed, to keep a straight face.
“They’re teasing you, Your Majesty,” Bon Bon said after a few seconds. “Pinchy is Berry’s daughter. She’s not related to Minuette by blood.”
“As much fun as it is, and as nice as it would be, two mares can’t get knocked up like that,” Berry said once she calmed down a little. “Believe me, we’ve tried. Right, Collie?”
“Mm,” Minuette hummed as she snuggled against Berry’s flank. “Pinchy is still my daughter,” she muttered as she seemed to slip back into her half sleep.
“Love you too,” Berry whispered as she leaned over and kissed the Unicorn’s horn.
Twilight watched as the Earth pony’s expression changed for a half second into something forlorn but happy, but when Berry pulled out of the kiss, her face was back to her sultry grin.
“So like I was saying, Princess,” she continued. “You need to let this stuff go. Right, Lyra?”
“Yeah, Twilight,” Lyra said. “Honestly, it’s not that big of a deal. I mean, you’re here now, aren’t you? How many ponies can say that they had royalty visit their home?”
“We can,” Bon Bon put in. “A few times, actually.”
“Heh.” Lyra rubbed the back of her neck. “Those don’t count.”
“But, I didn’t know about any of the stuff going on in your lives!” Twilight pleaded.
“So?” Lyra asked. “Friends don’t need to know everything about each other in order to be friends, Twilight.”
“But—” Twilight started again.
“Lyra, what’s Twilight’s favorite color?” Berry suddenly asked.
“Uh…green!” Lyra said with a smile. “Like me.”
“Twilight, is that right?”
“Well, no,” Twilight said. “It’s actually—”
“Lyra, how many dates has Twilight gone on?”
“Hm…tough one,” Lyra said as she tapped her chin. “She is royalty now, so that probably narrows the field, but also makes her much more desirable. I’m going to say, thirty-six, final answer!”
“I’ve never actually—”
“Lyra, is Twilight a fillyfooler?”
“Am I a what now?”
“You know, like us.” Berry gestured to herself as she spoke. “Do you like mares?”
“I-I…uh,” Twilight stammered. She had never really thought about that before.
“Oh!” Lyra raised her hoof and waved it like a filly in school. “Pick me, pick me!”
“Yes, Lyra?” Bon Bon asked with a smile and an apologetic look at Twilight. “Go ahead.”
“I know a pony who probably wishes Twilight was!” Lyra said slyly. “Trixie!”
“Huh?” Twilight said.
“Nah, Moondancer,” Minuette mumbled from Berry’s side. “That mare was tripping over herself whenever she was around Twilight.”
The image of Twilight in between Moondancer and Trixie in her bed filled her mind and the Princess felt her face go bright red.
“I knew Pegasus wings did that!” Lyra shouted as she pointed at Twilight’s fully outstretched wings.
Twilight blushed even harder and immediately folded her wings back to her side. She made it a point to keep them firmly pressed against her ribs.
“Want another drink?” Berry asked as she offered the bottle.
Twilight nodded and then immediately took a long sip to calm herself.
“See, Princess?” Berry said as she topped off her own glass. “Lyra doesn’t know some pretty basic things about you, either. Do you think she’s a bad friend?”
“No, of course not!” Twilight said. She blinked a few times as the wine flowed through her body. “Lyra was—is, a very good friend. She invited me over for dinner.”
“And that is all you need, sweetheart,” Berry said. “Friends don’t have to have each other’s entire lives mapped out and personal information kept in a folder.”
“Heh heh,” Twilight laughed because she remembered that Pinkie did exactly that for every pony in Ponyville, and Twilight herself had kept a few detailed notes on her other friends when she had first moved to Ponyville.
“Just being there is enough most of the time, Your Majesty,” Bon Bon added. “And when it’s not enough, your friends will let you know.”
“That was super cheesy, sexy,” Minuette said, her eyes still closed. The, she added, “You too, Berry.”
“I like you when you’re tipsy,” Berry shot back. “You’re frisky.”
“Good thing Pinchy is spending the night at her friend’s,” Minuette purred, but she made no move to get out of her resting position.
“Speaking of being there for a friend…” Lyra started.
“Oh sweet Celestia, no,” Bon Bon mumbled.
“Twilight. I’m going to go explore some ruins in a few days. I could really use the help of a Princess…”
“Lyra, no,” Bon Bon said firmly. “Besides, I’m sure Princess Twilight is super busy.”
Twilight smiled to herself and looked at the clock on the wall. It was well into Princess Luna’s night, and Spike was no doubt in bed fast asleep now. She had lost track of time simply chatting and eating with her old friends. Her boredom was a thing of memory now.
“Actually, Lyra,” Twilight said with a smile on her lips. “I’d love to.”