... but hope yet remains!
When I started studying the magic of friendship, I never considered other choices. Swept up by events around me, I wanted to understand this fluttering feeling in my heart. I wanted to know what friendship had to offer.
In the process of searching for the magic of friendship, I earned more than magical knowledge. I learned more about myself, about others, and how to handle life.
As time passed, I realized that friendship wasn’t just ‘magic’. It was a way of life, something that helped me and my friends achieve harmony. Harmony didn’t just beat the evil that plagued Equestria… it beat the evil inside all living creatures. It brought smiles to the downtrodden, it ended conflicts, it tied and created bonds. With those bonds, that ‘magic’, we could defeat anyone and anything that stood against us.
Or so I thought. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and today friendship failed me.
Friendship failed me… it sounds funny to someone who’s been studying it for so long. It sounds controversial when it was harmony and friendship that managed to seal a chaos god. It sounds ludicrous when I think of the things it did. But when the changelings attacked, friendship didn’t win the day, love did.
I suppose it makes little difference, right? A more intense and intimate friendship can be called love, can’t it? Besides, my friends are more than that; they are my family away from family. In the end family can be the friends you choose.
I don’t blame my friends for what happened. I’ve made the mistake of becoming paranoid before, and I should have expected similar results. But the fact still remains that we didn’t win that day: the changelings overwhelmed us and it was only by sheer luck that the combination of Shining Armor’s spell and Cadance’s love managed to blast them away.
I didn’t even know they could do that! My plan was to buy time to free Princess Celestia, and to try to reach the Elements once again.
Regardless of my initial expectations, I was glad it worked, and I held no grudge against my friends for not believing me. Heck, I was even happy that we managed to arrest Queen Chrysalis later.
There was something I had to ask her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, how the mighty have fallen! The glorious Queen Chrysalis bound in chains from the holes of her hooves, her wings constricted, her magic sealed within the runic circle that surrounded her cell. Chained in the dungeons of Canterlot, the mighty Queen of the Changelings lay silent as hoofsteps sounded outside of her cell. There was no response, nor did she care to move her head. There was no yelling, no thrashing around, only a stoic expression.
When she entered the cell, the Queen’s face didn’t change. She was a wall, her expression a bland, black stone wall that refused to budge. Twilight could sense the anger hidden in her aura, anger that she had dared foil her plans, but the Queen made no move against her.
Moment after moment, the two of them just stood there, looking at each other, not talking, not moving, just one surveying the other. A chessboard was set but neither of them knew who the whites were. Neither of them knew how to start or what to say.
Finally, Twilight Sparkle made the first move.
“I expected you to start talking about how you hate me.”
Silence.
“I guess it would be unbecoming of a Queen to act like that, right?”
Still nothing.
“I wanted to ask something…” she started, shuffling her hooves. She could get the answer she wanted through other ways. If others knew she’d talked to her… She didn’t have to come to the current public enemy number one to get it.
The changeling Queen didn’t pressure her. Perhaps it was because she knew this room had enchantments that compelled everyone inside it to tell the truth. The cell acted not only as a containment room, but also an interrogation room. Staying silent allowed her to give away as little information as possible, until her interrogators asked the right questions. She could only speak the truth, but Twilight knew she wouldn’t hoof it over. Coughing to clear her throat, Twilight spoke.
“Do changelings have friends?”
Queen Chrysalis’s eyes shot wide open, and her nostrils flared. From her expression, Twilight understood her question seemed absurd, and that Chrysalis didn’t want to answer for more reasons than one, but with the magic of the room compelling her that choice was no longer available.
“I saw you cooperating so well out there,” Twilight continued, ”How you all broke the shield by using simple harmonic motion. I thought you had some hive mind link, but when the mages erected the warding spells, they didn’t find anything of the sort. It must have taken far more than simple discipline to command such an army. As far as I know, none of your changelings cowered in your sight. So I’m curious: do changelings have friends?”
“They do.” The enchantments on the room didn’t require Queen Chrysalis to be specific, or to delve into answers more than she wanted to. But with someone like Twilight in front of her, that advantage wouldn’t last long.
“Do you perceive friendship the same way ponies do? I mean, how does changeling society treat friendship?” Twilight eagerly awaited. She did her best to hide her anxiety. Chrysalis didn’t scare her as much as it scared her to know the answer to her question. Were the ties of friendship stronger in changelings? Or were the Elements of Harmony some sort of ‘chosen ones’? Could the Elements have chosen changelings? And most importantly… could friendship do, or be evil?
“Our friendship is based upon empathy. The greater the empathy, the higher the changeling’s rank. We build bonds, our very souls intertwine one another when true friendships are forged. The more friendships you have, the stronger you are. Literally.” Chrysalis stared intently back at Twilight, her teal eyes sending a chill down her spine. Twilight could tell the Queen was trying to push her away with this move, but she had to learn more.
“You must have many friends looking for you.” There was a small pause as Twilight saw Chrysalis close her eyes for a moment.
“Had,” Chrysalis corrected her.
Twilight felt that chill again, though it was not the Queen’s gaze that prompted it this time. Something about her answer shook Twilight inside. She didn’t know much about the Queen as a person, but if they chose their leaders based on their ability to make friendships or empathetic capacity, then surely…
“What happened?”
“They died…”
“How?”
There was a distinct rattling of teeth. Chrysalis’s furrowed forehead betrayed her mental focus as she tried to resist the interrogation in vain. The muscles of her face fought against the will of the magic that compelled her to tell the truth.
“I… I k... killed them.” Once the words were out, Chrysalis resigned from her struggle, and calmly closed her eyes. She snorted dismissively.
“Suuuuuch weeeeeeaknessssss.”
Twilight gulped as shock deprived her of her voice. Did she just hear right? Chrysalis had spoken, but what came out sounded more like a serpent’s hiss than her usual voice. Twilight thought her ears were fooling her; she didn’t trust her senses. But as she looked around, the runes restricting the Queen were still there, the enchantments still in place. Chains, runes, horn inhibitor, and everything all in place.
“Tell me, Twilight Sparkle…” As Chrysalis opened her eyes, a glittering trickle rolled down her face. Twilight backed away from the Queen.
“Have you ever killed a friend?”
“You…” Twilight stepped back instinctively, the color in her face draining. “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have come here.” Twilight trotted towards the door, scolding herself for even thinking there was something good in the changeling.
“I know why you came here!” shouted Chrysalis from behind her. Twilight stopped, her hoof just over the bars.
“You came here because you wanted to know why you failed! Because your friendships failed! But you will understand..." The chains clanged as Chrysalis stood up behind her. "There will be a time. A time when you will have to choose between the needs of the many, and the needs of the few! A time when you will have to choose between your friends and saving the world! Then you will understand that friendship only gets you so far!”
Chrysalis watched silently as Twilight struggled with what she had said. Twilight wanted to believe that friendship would get the job done, it always had, so why would it not in future times?
“The Elements of Harmony won’t be able to fix everything! Celestia and Luna won’t be here to help you forever! They can fall, they can become corrupt! Just as your harmony has once been turned into disharmony!” Chrysalis’s words brought back memories of Twilight’s Discorded self. She and her friends hadn’t been themselves that time, but that couldn’t erase the fact that it had happened. She wanted to believe that the Elements would save everyone, that the universe would plot in her favor, that she’d always have a way to fix things. But even when Discord had attacked, it had only been by a slim chance that they had won through.
“You came here to see if we could experience friendship, to understand how we came so close to victory, and why you still won. Then understand this! On the day of the wedding neither friendship nor love won the day, YOU did! Your passion and perseverance to find a solution, your resistance in the despair-inducing circumstances I put you through! Understand one more thing... Friendship alone doesn't get you anything! Friendship alone can't feed the changelings.”
As Twilight turned around, she saw the Queen standing tall and proud, chest puffed out and gaze unwavering towards her. She was unrepentant. Even when bound in chains, with remnants of her tears still upon her face, Chrysalis’s stance and aura remained that of a Queen’s. But she was wrong.
“You could have asked; we would have helped! You wouldn’t be starving if you had a bit of humility in you! Instead you remain here, arrogant in your self-righteousness. Yes, friendship is no panakeia, I understand that!” Twilight trotted towards Chrysalis, furrowing her brow in anger and stomping one hoof on the ground while pointing with the other. “But that doesn’t grant you the right to toy with our lives or treat us like garbage! I don’t know what twisted idea you and your changelings have about friendship, but I’d never harm my friends, and they wouldn’t either!”
Chrysalis shook her head dismissively.
“You’re too quick, too eager to draw conclusions, Twilight Sparkle,” Chrysalis sighed. “There’s one thing you have wrong here. I did say love is food, but I didn’t say we are starving.”
“What? Then…”
“I cannot tell you.”
“Can’t or won’t?” Twilight narrowed her eyes suspiciously. How could Chrysalis not answer truthfully? Was this prison not enchanted to prevent just that? Just what in the world was she hiding?
Chrysalis sighed again. She lifted one of her chains and looked at the reflective surface of the metal.
“Ssssoooon.”
“Chrysalis?” It was that voice again. Twilight saw Chrysalis grab her mane, grunting and gasping. The Queen of the changelings was in pain, and Twilight froze, not knowing what to do.
Chrysalis’s eyes glowed green as she reasserted her composure, flicking her mane. “I can’t tell you, nor do I want to, and neither do you. I am sure that you will eventually come to think the same.”
“You sound too sure of yourself…” Twilight stated.
“It’s kept a secret for a reason. If ponies knew about this, they would hunt changelings to extinction, isolate them, or at least imprison them. If changelings knew this, they would hate themselves, and both species would try to abuse the situation to come on top. It’s better for all of you to think what stands now, for the truth can bring about a war which can make the events of the wedding pale in comparison. It will be Tartarus on Equestria.”
Queen Chrysalis paused. Twilight suspected that she wanted to let go of this secret. The way she breathed, the way she struggled to air the words, forcing herself to be secretive. Perhaps she had been in the same situation before? Did she want help? Was she even willing to take it?
“Feeed.”
Was this voice a sign of Chrysalis’s condition? How long could the Queen keep her hunger at bay? How long would her changelings fare without help? She had admitted herself something was wrong. How many would have to die before Chrysalis would talk? The questions stormed Twilight’s mind relentlessly.
“Musssssssstttttt feeed.” The Queen’s eyes glowed yellow for a moment.
There were some things that Twilight didn’t expect. She had never seen Chrysalis cry, or even sound remotely sorry. This was nothing like the Chrysalis she had seen at the wedding. Perhaps this was only the surface of what hid behind the mask. She was not prepared to see her struggling and suffering like that.
The promise of a secret capable of destroying the world. Something so strong that it could tear apart even the strongest of friendships. She suspected it had something to do with the changelings feeding upon love, and how Chrysalis had killed her own changelings, her own friends. She shuddered at that thought. Killing a friend? Unthinkable!
“Cast a silence spell in this room. I want nopony eavesdropping on us,” she commanded.
Twilight nodded in understanding. Her horn glowed, and after a second a small pulse emanated from her body as an invisible aura surrounded them, the slight tingling of magic confirming the presence of the spell. As the two of them sat on their haunches, Twilight readied herself.
Chrysalis’s eyes gazed ahead as she was lost in her thoughts. They seemed to be buried deep, perhaps hidden by her own effort? Twilight noticed a wincing in her eyes as Chrysalis spoke.
“Swear to me…” she pleaded. “Swear to me on your family, your friends, and everything you hold sacred in this world, that you will not be rash and reveal this to others.” She paused. “I don’t have much time left. The voice you heard reflects my hunger, the hunger of all changelings out there… It is how I decided it must be after I learned the very secret I am about to tell you. I decided it’s all or nothing, because I got sick of losing my friends, my loved ones, my… family.” A long shadow fell upon the queen’s face, her mane poorly shielding her from Twilight’s gaze, her judge.
“Swear it to me, make the unbreakable oath,” she repeated.
Twilight hesitated for one moment. The unbreakable oath, otherwise known as a geas, bound the one it was cast upon to fulfill certain conditions, or risk suffering a penalty bestowed by fate. If someone had more than one geas placed upon them, and the two came into conflict, they were in big trouble. However, having a geas placed upon you wasn’t all that bad. As long as you conformed to it, it would actually make you stronger. Stronger to keep that oath, that is…
Was she willing to know? Did she even have to? She could just walk away after all, but something told her that if she walked away now, she’d be making a crucial mistake. She’d come here for her own reasons, and friendship was one of them. Deep down, she had wanted to confront the evil Queen about her deeds. She had wanted to confirm her own ideals, her own position. But now…
Now she didn’t know. Was there ever a valid reason to torture others? To feel sorry, but not regret? To kill? The answer was no longer clear, and she wanted to know, if anything else she wanted to be ready. Chrysalis said she had passion and perseverance, and that was exactly what she would use.
Twilight gave her hoof to Chrysalis, who placed her own on it. Once her horn started glowing, ready to cast the spell, the Queen spoke:
“Do you, Twilight Sparkle, swear to listen to the plight of the changelings?”
“I do.” Purple chains of magic emerged from her hoof, crawling up her body.
“Do you, Twilight Sparkle, swear not to abuse this knowledge for personal gain?”
“I do.” The chains reached up her neck and expanded towards her back.
“The more you share this with others, the more this oath will punish your body. Should the public become aware of this, you will die. Do you, Twilight Sparkle, understand and accept these terms?”
There was a pause. Time stopped as Twilight and Chrysalis looked deep into each other’s eyes. Twilight understood then that she wasn’t the only one who would get punished through the oath if Chrysalis was sworn to secrecy. She, too, would receive punishment accordingly. Already, Twilight could see a small hole develop on the tip of Chrysalis’s hoof. Fate was punishing her for her transgressions.
“I do.”
The chains surrounded her and tightened. Twilight closed her eyes as she felt them seep into her body and then vanish. She opened her eyes, sensing the presence of the geas in the back of her mind. A watchful eye, never sleeping, never tiring, now surveyed her actions, promising to punish her accordingly.
“Do you still want to know? Do you still care?” came Chrysalis’s voice, breaking the silence between them. Twilight quietly nodded to the changeling queen. She’d come this far, no reason to back down now.
“There is something within each changeling that never sleeps, and never tires. It is a curse, an infection the Nightmare Princess knows all too well…”
“It… can’t be.”
“... the Nightmare miasma.”
“But if Princess Luna was cleansed of her evil self, then couldn’t you be as well?” Twilight questioned.
“We have been living with this taint for over four thousand years. It has become part of our bodies. The holes you see, our black carapaces, our need for love. If we were struck by the Elements now, we would die.“ Chrysalis took a deep breath. “There is a tale among changelings. It talks about the early changeling civilization that lived underneath Equestria, and the second-greatest ruler after King Proteus the Overfather. This tale speaks of Metis, a changeling with a heart so great she was all of changelingdom’s friend. So bright was her smile, and so selfless her rule, that when a volcano threatened to collapse her kingdom, she sacrificed herself to save her changelings. For that she earned the title ‘Bright-hearted’.”
“I don’t understand what this has to do with your case,” stated Twilight.
“Behind every lie, behind every tale, there is a piece of truth. Every story holds a lesson, every encounter carries meaning and experience. Metis and her followers were fighting the miasma that was infecting their kingdom. The miasma made their fears manifest before them. It possessed everything living surrounding it, but even so the changelings fought. They were confident in fighting an opponent they knew, because they were united. But it was that exact union that didn’t prepare them for what was about to come.”
“And that was?” asked Twilight.
“Indoctrination. They were betrayed from within. Their food and water was poisoned by the miasma, and soon Metis’s warriors found out they had been poisoned. The queen’s own followers started turning against each other, fighting one another. Metis had to do something before it got out of control. Already the surface was being affected, the soil drained by the taint that seeped into the ground, creating a desolate place on the surface. Luring the miasma with her magic, she bought time for her changelings to escape to the surface, and within an explosion of crimson she collapsed the passage, sacrificing herself for her kin.”
Twilight stroked her chin, again deep in thought. Such a climactic change wouldn’t just go unnoticed by everyone, let alone modern-day ponies. A desolate place, where no plants would grow...
“Wait a minute, the Badlands. Are you kidding me? That is the result of a vol—” Twilight’s eyes went wide as the realization hit her.
“Volcano? Really? You didn’t think we fed you the same lie we fed ourselves?” Chrysalis laughed, her head bending forward, her hooves grasping at her mane. Twilight cringed at the changeling’s reaction. There was a tear in that laugh as Chrysalis tightened her hooves around her chest, trying to contain something inside her.
“Hahah, that’s fine. Really.” Chrysalis gave Twilight a manic grin. “I wanted to believe the same thing for the longest time after I heard it. I wanted to believe that it was all a cruel joke. I wanted to, I really did!” A low-pitched giggle followed.
“Until my first kill, that is.” The changeling’s teeth glinted bare. “At first it repulsed me, made me vomit just thinking of what I had done.” She gritted her teeth as her face kept twitching, struggling between joy and sadness, a maelstrom of emotions clashing on her face.
“Adrenaline was my friend, and it told me this felt good. My mind agreed with my body, this had to be done. The taint drains our emotions, and once a changeling falls to the madness of the ‘hunger’, there is no escape.” Chrysalis paused.
“But my heart, on the other hoof…” Twilight felt Chrysalis’s hoof touch her shoulder.
Everything was sucked into a vortex as Twilight Sparkle was taken over by Chrysalis’ emotions.
Memories flashed before her eyes. Images of Chrysalis drenched in blood. Spear, sword, magic… they delivered the final blow to huge, malformed abominations. Some had tentacles, others had razor-sharp teeth, others had bladed wings. The spawns of the Nightmare rattled as life fled from their bodies, signalling the reaper to take them from Chrysalis’s hooves as she held them close for one final moment.
Twilight Sparkle shouldn’t have felt sorry for her. She shouldn’t have. Chrysalis had hurt her friends, her mentor, her fellow ponies.
But…
As reality was restored, the Queen looked back at her. “You saw it, didn’t you? It’s all true, you know. These are the warriors I raised myself with. The warriors I cradled in my hooves as I visited the nurseries. The warriors whose families praised my name and considered it a blessing to even be touched by me. The warriors who appointed me their Queen through the power of their friendship. This is what it led me to, Twilight Sparkle, and this is what it will eventually lead you to as well! Alone and miserable!”
“That’s not true!” Twilight said almost immediately.
“Is it? If your friends are your strength, Twilight Sparkle, then what are you without them? If the Elements of Harmony didn’t exist, how would you defeat Discord? Nightmare Moon? Me? If you can give me a truthful answer about how your friends can currently help defeat someone like me, then I will conform to your point of view. Well?” The Queen awaited, hooves folded as her eyes remained fixed, looking down at Twilight.
“Well…” She hesitated, considering Chrysalis’s words. Friendship would get ponies anywhere wouldn’t it? It had always done so before, so the answer should be easy for her to give. So why was she thinking so hard about the changeling’s words? It was true that her friends had their strengths and weaknesses, but they had never been an army. They had never been trained for combat. Sure, some knew martial arts, but that was just about it. She began to wonder if the only reason they had even gotten so close to the room that housed the Elements was luck. Luck would run out eventually… and friendship alone could win nothing. Ability was required as well.
But…
“And while you are at it, tell me one more thing. Is this really your dream? What does such an abstract goal like frienship even mean to you? Why do you cherish it so? Is friendship really yourideal?”
“What do you mean? Of course it is!” Twilight answered, her cheeks puffed out.
“And you are absolutely sure it’s not Celestia’s dream? It didn’t even occur to you that she might have used you to save her sister? Why else would she push you so vehemently against your will to make friends in the first place? Tsk…” Chrysalis shook her head. “You say you admire friendship, but you really don’t. You just admire Celestia. You adopted her ideals just like she ‘adopted’ you as a protege. You have nothing of your own! No true self! Just a burnout of another mare’s dreams! If I am a liar by default because I am a changeling, then you, Twilight Sparkle, are a hypocrite! A fraud! A sham!”
“You have lost a lot, haven’t you?” Twilight responded with a steady voice.
“No. I’m here for the exact opposite reason. Just like you are a hypocrite to your own beliefs, so am I. I know what will happen, yet I don’t act to prevent it. I know what will happen if I bond too much with someone, yet I yearn for it like some sort of a junkie. An addict, a parasite, a masochist who enjoys nothing more than their own suffering. ‘This will be the last time!’ I thought. The last time! But again and again and again the last time became a lie I fed myself with. Again and again and again I heard the sickening sound of my brethren’s last breaths, and again I swore, that this would be the last time! That I would find a solution!”
“Theeerrre issss no esssscape.”
“Chrysalis!” Twilight Sparkle stopped as the Queen used her hoof to push her away. She wanted this to stop, to silence that evil voice. Chrysalis ignored her, and continued.
“Yet again and again and again I broke my oaths and got punished for it. A hypocrite who doesn’t know when to admit defeat. A sham that arrogantly insists upon a path there is no solution for! Stubbornly hitting my head against a wall that refuses to break…” Chrysalis paused.
“Sometimes, sometimes I think it would be better if I succumbed to that fate myself. But then my stupidity, my selfishness, my instinct of self-preservation kicks in. It shouts back to the taint in my head that it would rather go down kicking and screaming, rather than surrender. It dreams my dream, the dream of a brighter world.”
Silence.
“The false cycle continues, and time after time retribution increases. Maybe I will escape this dungeon, maybe I won’t. There are still changelings who need me out there. I will reach new heights of stupidity, arrogance, ambition. I will never stop, and this is the way I will die...”
Twilight couldn’t take it anymore. She extended her hooves… and hugged Chrysalis.
“Shhhh!!” Twilight said as she felt Chrysalis try to speak. Twilight faced her chest, her eyes tightly shut, her hooves pushing the Queen’s head to her shoulders.
“You are right. I might be a sham, a fraud, and a hypocrite. But…” Her mind flashed with the memories of the time Princess Luna had been freed from the Nightmare. The moment that Princess Celestia had hugged her sister, something had sparkled in Twilight’s heart. The same spark that she had glimpsed when she had been saved by her friends in the forest, the same spark that had reignited her memories when she had been Discorded.
“I sensed a beauty in friendship. I heard the fluttering of my heart, the same fluttering you yearn for, and I thought, ‘How beautiful would it be, if we could all live like that?’ I understand that putting one thing above everything, be that friendship or anything else, is wrong. Even if it started as a lie, it’s still a beautiful lie, a lie worth preserving. Friendship alone may not be able to save the day, but it’s something beautiful, something worth fighting for. It’s that beauty that I choose as my truth.”
Twilight backed down a bit from the hug, but still caressed Chrysalis’s back.
“Your mistake doesn’t lie in standing up for you ideals, nor are your ideals wrong. You made a whole nation love you with that ideal, that friendship. You can’t tell me you regret that, can you?” Twilight asked.
Chrysalis just stood there, her mouth agape.
“Your mistake lies in thinking that the end justifies the means. You sought to defend your friendship by ruining the friendship of others. Remember, Chrysalis--” Twilight placed a hoof upon the changeling’s chest, “--remember what you have, what you lost, and what you will gain. Don’t be afraid to change your ways to get your dream. No matter what, always remember it!”
Once again, Twilight hugged the queen of the changelings, wishing to provide her comfort, respite from her suffering, and love if she could.
“I… you…” Chrysalis’s eyes went hide as it hit her.
“Hope. That is what you are feeding me right now. The ‘magic’ that represents friendship. The illusion of ignoring probabilities, and struggling for a better future regardless. This is truly your element, the power of your bonds.” Chrysalis lifted her hoof and caressed the cheek of her former enemy, and as Twilight raised her head to look back at her, she spoke once again.
“Such a troublesome little girl… You resist to the very end.” She leaned her head against Twilight, showing a sympathetic smile, “But I forgive you. This has been…”
There was a pause, and a sigh, “...quite the expedition. Do what you can, little pony, I’ll be watching you with great interest. Lead on, show me how your friendship changes the world. And maybe, just maybe, I will follow your example.”