Cheer On

by GWFan

First published

After a budget cut, Cheerilee is replaced by a younger and stricter teacher.

After a budget cut, Cheerilee is replaced by a younger and stricter teacher. Cheerilee searches for a new job in Ponyville while her students deal with the new teacher. However, everything is not what it seems. Can Cheerilee use her vast knowledge to save her students and Ponyville?

Budget Cut

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Disclaimer: I do not own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or the answer to the ultimate riddle: Why is a pony like a cardboard box?

Cheer On
By GWFan (The Softcore Brony)

Cheerilee’s cutie mark itched in delight as the question she had raised was answered.

“That is absolutely correct,” Cheerilee remarked happily. “The divisor is the number by which the dividend is divided. I’m so proud of you, class. We’re moving along so quickly today. I can honestly say that I believe every one of you is going to do well on the test at the end of the week.”

Cheerilee taught her class with great enthusiasm and confidence in her students, even if some of them didn’t necessarily agree. One of those students was Apple Bloom. She always tried her hardest, but didn’t always succeed, especially where math was concerned. As it happened, math was the last lesson of the day.

Cheerilee addressed the class with jovial sincerity. “We now know that the number to be divided is called the dividend and the number by which it is divided is called the divisor. But can anyone tell me what the answer to a division problem is called?”

“I know!” Twist said, raising her hoof. “The quotient.”

“That’s right, Twist,” Cheerilee said proudly. “The answer to a division problem is also called the quotient. This will be very important when we start using division in word problems tomorrow.”

“More word problems?” Apple Bloom muttered. Regular math problems she could deal with but she wasn’t very good with word problems. She always had to read the question three times before she figured out where to even start. And she had learned weeks ago that her sister Applejack could only help her so much with it at home. Her brother Big Macintosh was much better at them, but never did a particularly good job of explaining how.

Cheerilee glanced at the clock. “I think there is just enough time to give you all an example of one before we leave for the day. Any questions before we start?”

As might be expected, Twist raised her hoof, but she didn’t get the chance to ask. The door opened and an older pony with a brown mane, dark shades, and a satchel around his shoulder, walked into the room. His cutie mark was a straightedge ruler, symbolizing his orderly command of school affairs.

Cheerilee greeted him cheerfully. “Principal Kickerbuck, to what do we owe the pleasure?”

“I’m afraid some not so good news, Ms. Cheerilee.”

“I see. Should I see you after the bell rings?”

“No, no. This concerns the students as well, so it must be addressed now.” Kickerbuck cleared his throat. “As you are all aware, we recently began construction of an additional classroom in preparation for our growing class sizes next year. The good news is the classroom is now complete.” The news was met with mixed results, that being that Twist and Cheerilee were the only ones who clapped. “Unfortunately, somepony, who shall not be named, underestimated the cost of this classroom and our school is now suffering from a bit of a budget crisis.”

“Oh dear. That is serious,” Cheerilee said alarmed. “Does that mean we’re not going to get new textbooks again? Those history books are outdated by ten whole years.”

“The good news is we’ve already ordered new text books. The bad news is that that has also contributed to our budget crisis.” Kickerbuck snorted loudly and pulled out a series of papers from the satchel around his shoulder before continuing. “I have reorganized all of our classes and starting tomorrow, all of you will switch to new classroom assignments. Some of you in fact will be going to the new classroom.”

“I don’t understand. Does that fix the budget somehow?” Cheerilee asked.

“No. It just reorganizes the students so that we have enough teachers to teach them all.”

“What do you mean? We already have enough teachers.”

“The good news is we’ve found a way to balance the budget. The bad news is we have to fire three of our teachers.”

Cheerilee paled at the news. “That’s awful. This effects how effectively we can teach the students. Are you sure we have to fire so many?”

“The good news is we’ve hired a new teacher to help with that. The bad news is that you are one of the teachers I’m firing.” The classroom erupted in a unanimous gasp.

Cheerilee was almost speechless. “What?”

Kickerbuck handed her a pink slip. “I’m sorry Ms. Cheerilee, but I certainly hope my positive negative sandwich approach eased this undoubted shock.”

“But… but Principal Kickerbuck…,”

“Oh wait, I’m supposed to end with a positive note. The good news is the budget has been balanced. There.” Kickerbuck smiled, truly proud of himself.

Cheerilee gaped. “But… but… my students… how will I… what will I…?”

But Kickerbuck ignored her and went about distributing the various other papers he had brought with him in his satchel. “As I said, beginning tomorrow these will be your new class assignments. The good news is some of you will still be in the same classroom. The bad news is some of you will not. Oh, darn. That’s not ending on a positive note at all. The good news is some of you will also have the new teacher who came highly recommended. The bad news is some of you will not. Dang. Not positive again. Um…,”

“Are you okay, Ms. Cheerilee?” Twist asked.

Cheerilee realized she was still gaping and quickly put on a smiling face. “Of course, Twist. I’ll be just fine. I’ll just have to find a temporary job… working somewhere else…,”

Apple Bloom felt sorry for Cheerilee. She had always been such a good teacher and she had learned so much from her compared to her teacher the year before. Sighing a little, Apple Bloom looked at the paper the Principal had put on her desk. It seemed she was being moved to the new classroom. She also had a teacher she didn’t recognize the name of. Ms. Plum.


The pink slip. Fired. Cheerilee. The three words didn’t go together at all.

Cheerilee slowly emptied the contents of her desk into her saddlebag. Her pencils. Her eraser with the smiley face on it. The apple Apple Bloom had brought her that morning, still uneaten. Her teacher of the year award… all three of them. How could this have happened to her? Teaching was both her life and greatest joy. And now…

“What’s done is done,” Cheerilee said to herself. “As long as the students still have a school to go to and a teacher to learn from, I can leave with my head held high.”

She glanced out the window and saw many of her students still lingering in the schoolyard. They seemed to be discussing the papers the Principal had given them. Many of them looked excited about their new classroom assignments and Cheerilee wouldn’t be around to be apart of that joy.

“No. I have to remain positive. Cheer is in my name after all. With Celestia as my witness, I will have another job!” A bright light shone behind her as she dramatically pointed to the ceiling. Then abruptly, the light bulb making the light behind her fizzled out, leaving her in semi-darkness.

Then the janitor appeared in the doorway. “Sorry about that. Budget cut.” He removed the light bulb and put it in the wastebasket before leaving. Apparently, he didn’t have another one to replace it with.

“Seems the budget crisis is deeper than I thought. Perhaps I was being paid too much.” Still, the room was quite dark now and it had been the only light source in the room. The students couldn’t use this room in the dark. Maybe the school had some other plan. In any case, it wasn’t something Cheerilee had any power to fix anymore. Or maybe she could just buy a light bulb and donate it to the school. Still, the first thing she needed to do was find a job and she was confident that she knew exactly where to find one.


Out in the schoolyard, many students were exchanging both joy and sorrow. Some of them were happy that they would be paired with their friends in new classes while others were sad that they would be separated. A few were also disappointed that their favorite teachers were being fired. Another hot topic was the mystery of who the new teacher was. The Principal had said she came highly recommended.

Over by the swing set, Apple Bloom and Twist met with their other friends Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. The first thing on their minds was whether they would be in the same class together.

“Hey, we’re going to be in the same class again,” Twist said excitedly to Apple Bloom, pointing out what was printed on her paper.

“Check it out,” Scootaloo announced. “I’m in your class too.”

“Me too!” Sweetie Belle said.

“You mean the four of us are all together!?” Apple Bloom asked. “Well there’s the positive end the Principal was lookin’ for.”

“Yay!” All four of them shouted, pulling together in a group hug.

“Oh look, we’re both in the new classroom.” Apple Bloom and her friends turned their attention to the seesaw when they heard Diamond Tiara’s voice.

“And who the hey is this Ms. Plum?” Silver Spoon asked snootily, pointing to something on her paper.

“Aren’t we all in the new classroom?” Scootaloo asked.

“Which means that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are going to be in there too?” Apple Bloom asked.

“It doesn’t matter. We’re still going to be together, right?” Twist pointed out.

“Yay…,” the Crusaders said dismally.

“Come on guys, who cares if those two are in our class? They can’t do anything with the teacher there,” Twist said positively.

“I guess, but still,” Scootaloo pouted.

“Twist is right. The important thing is that we all have the same class. And we totally outnumber those two,” Apple Bloom put in.

“Yeah,” Scootaloo finally agreed. “You’re right. Maybe we can turn the tables and give them a taste of their own medicine.”

“For what? Bully cutie marks?” Sweetie Belle asked. “I don’t think I want to have that as my cutie mark.” Besides, what would a bully cutie mark look like? A hoof in a pony’s face? A pony headfirst in a trashcan? A pony headfirst in a toilet? None of them sounded appealing.

“Good point. But now that were in the same class, maybe we can step up our crusadin’. You know, like some sort of school related cutie mark.”

“Good idea! Cutie Mark Crusaders, school wizards!” Scootaloo suggested.

“Maybe we could get some pointers from the new teacher and get teaching cutie marks?” Sweetie Belle said. “Cutie Mark Crusaders, super teachers.”

“Don’t you guys think it’s kind of weird that they fired three teachers but still hired a new one?” Twist suddenly asked. The Crusaders looked at each other and unanimously shrugged.

“I dunno. Kinda,” Apple Bloom answered. “I don’t really understand all that budget stuff though, so maybe it does make sense and we just don’t know it.”

“Still seems kind of weird.”

Perhaps it did seem a bit strange, but as Apple Bloom had already said, she didn’t really know much about that kind of stuff. There were other things on her mind.

“What do you think the new teacher is going to be like?” Apple Bloom asked her friends, completely ignoring Twist. She didn’t know everypony in Ponyville of course, but this Ms. Plum was certainly one she had never heard of.

“I bet she’s really nice. Like Fluttershy,” Sweetie Belle suggested.

“Or maybe she’s really cool, like Rainbow Dash. I wonder if she’s a pegasus? Maybe she could teach me to fly.”

“Or if she’s a unicorn, she could teach me how to use magic.”

“Or of she’s an earth pony she could teach me… whatever it is earth ponies are good for.”

“This is great,” Scootaloo put in. “This is gonna be the best teacher ever.”

“We haven’t even met her yet,” Twist pointed out, wondering about the mysterious new teacher herself. “And what about Ms. Cheerilee? Think she’ll be okay?”

“Well yeah, I feel bad for Cheerilee, but I’ll bet you this new teacher is cool.”

“And Ms. Cheerilee knows lots of stuff and is really motivated. She’ll find a new job no problem,” Apple Bloom said confidently. “You’ll see, Twist. Why, I bet by tomorrow, we’ll see Cheerilee enjoying her new job.”


Fortunately for Cheerilee, she was friends with Horte Cuisine, the pony who ran one of the larger restaurants in Ponyville. As soon as he heard her plight, he offered her a job, starting immediately. Unfortunately for Cheerilee, she never expected that she of all ponies would get first day jitters.

After a quick crash course in waitressing, Cheerilee found herself walking up to her very first table during the afternoon pre-dinner crowd. Two pegasi from Cloudsdale had come down to enjoy the fine cuisine, a boyfriend and girlfriend perhaps, Cheerilee thought

“Good evening. My name is Cheerilee and I’ll be your server. Um… can I take your… no wait. That comes later… Can I offer you any… no wait. It wasn’t quite like that… Um…,” The male pegasus, whose cutie mark resembled a whistle, grimaced, apparently concerned about her performance. “Forgive me. This is admittedly my first day. Would you like to order anything?”

The pegasus looked at his friend. “Do you know what you want?”

The female pegasus, whose cutie mark resembled a flute, answered, “Sure.”

“Okay then, I guess we’re ready to order. I’ll have a rose sandwich and an apple strudel.”

“And I’ll have-”

“A rose sandwich and apple strudel?” Cheerilee suddenly interrupted. “What a coincidence you should say that. Did you know that roses and apples are part of the same family?”

The couple looked at each other. “No…,”

“They’re both part of the family called Rosaceae which of course is the rose family meaning that apples are actually related to roses.”

“Okay…,” the pegasus looked at his girlfriend again. “What do you want to order?

“Well…,”

“That’s a very good question sir,” Cheerilee interrupted again. “Rosaceaeis is part of the order known as Rosales. Anyway, as I was saying, apples are not the only fruit related to the rose family. Apricots, cherries, peaches, plums, raspberries, strawberries and even almonds are part of the rose family as well.”

“That’s cool I guess but…,” The pegasus tried to get a word in but Cheerilee had found herself back in the classroom, readily teaching her two newest students the wonders of learning.

“Of course, you’re probably thinking that almonds are actually a type of nut, not a fruit. But of course this is a common misconception as nuts are technically a fruit.”

“But…,”

“No, no. I’ll answer questions in just a moment. Now as I was saying, we know that nuts are a type of fruit because they grow into trees that bear fruit. Of course, only a limited number of nuts are considered by biologists to be true nuts.”

“I think you’re a true nut.”

“Excuse me?” Cheerilee said abashed. “That was completely uncalled for young colt. One more crack like that and I’ll have you after school for detent…,” Cheerilee’s eyes widened in sudden realization. Her classroom warped back into a restaurant and she was suddenly a waitress offending her customers. “Oh my. I… I’m so sorry. I’m still getting used to this job.”

The pegasus waved is hoof. “No, I guess it’s all right. I was a little out of line.”

“No. It was completely my fault. Old habits die hard I suppose.”

“Quite. I suppose-”

“That was an idiom of course,” Cheerilee continued. “An idiom is a phrase with a figurative meaning. I was merely saying that it’s hard to change my accustomed behavior.”

“Clearly,” the pegasus said annoyed. “Can my sister order now?”

“Sister? Oh dear. I was under the impression that you were dating. Forgive me.”

“Okay… does that make some kind of difference? I just want to order food,” the other pegasus said.

Cheerilee raised an imaginary pointer stick and indicated an imaginary chalkboard with an imaginary drawing on it. “Perspective makes a very large difference in most cases. In fact, it would have dictated the type of drinks I would serve you. Were you a couple, I would be obligated to ask if would like some spiced apple cider, whereas, since you are merely siblings, it is not necessary.” Her imaginary materials disappeared back into imagination land and Cheerilee hurriedly tried to fit back into her new occupation. “That reminds me, what would you like to drink, sir?”

The pegasus looked at his sister before wearily returning his attention to Cheerilee. “I think I’ll play it safe and just say water.”

Cheerilee nodded her head. “Distilled, double distilled, deionized, or reverse osmosis plant water?”

The pegasus paled. “Whichever one doesn’t come with a lecture.”

Cheerilee blushed. “Oh. Sorry again about that, sir. Uh… water it is. And what would you like to order, ma’am?”

The female pegasus stared blankly at her. “What the heck is reverse osmosis plant water?”

“No, don’t!” her brother said quickly as Cheerilee’s eyes lit up again.

“I’m so glad you asked,” Cheerilee said happily. “Reverse osmosis is a process where large molecules and ions are removed from water through a membrane technical filtration method and…,”

“Ahem,” somepony said from behind her. It was Horte. “Cheerilee can I talk to you for just one moment.”

“Of course, Horte. Just one second.”

“Now please.” Reality struck home again and Cheerilee realized that she had made a mistake and quietly excused herself from the siblings. Horte apologized to them as well, telling them that he would return to take their order personally.

“Cheerilee,” Horte started after they had stepped out of earshot of the customers. “I’m glad you’re so enthusiastic about your job but… how can I put this nicely? Could you maybe be a little less enthusiastic? You know, less lecture, more order?”

“Like I said, old habits die hard.”

“I’m sure they do, so please, for the sake of my business, would you let sleeping dogs lie?”

“That is also a very good idiom.” Horte raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry about that Horte. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

“Its okay, Cheerilee. I know you’re going through a rough time. Anyway, there’s a customer over on table 3 that needs service. Go see if she’s ready to order would you?”

As Cheerilee went over to the table, Horte wiped his face with the handkerchief he always kept in his vest pocket. He hadn’t expected it to be so difficult for Cheerilee to adjust to such a simple job. A few years before, he had hired a pegasus named Rainbow Dash as a waitress for a brief time and even she had adjusted quicker than this. Of course, he had had to fire her a week later for trying to serve too many customers at once as quickly as possible, consequently resulting in several trays of food being dumped on the mayor. Twice. On two different days.

But Cheerilee was different. She was much more mature and educated than Rainbow Dash and Horte had every bit of confidence that she would do just fine.

“On, no, no, no. Carbohydrates alone do not make you fat. It is actually the combined consumption of carbohydrates and protein in the same meal that forms fat in your body.” Horte slowly turned around. Cheerilee was talking to the customer at table 3. “Low-carb diets are not healthy for you. Not only does it rob you of much needed long term energy, but you become more prone to kidney stones and will be at higher risk for a heart attack.” Cheerilee turned around when she heard a thud behind her. “Mr. Horte, are you all right? You seem to have fallen over. Are you suffering from a heart attack? Was it a low-carb diet?”

Horte slowly picked himself off the ground. A heart attack wasn’t really that far off from how he felt at the moment. “Cheerilee, I’m sorry, but can I see you inside for a moment, please?”

“Okay, Horte. I’ll be there in a second,” Cheerilee answered cheerfully, before turning back to the customer. “It is recommended that you eat most of your daily protein during lunch and most of your daily carbs for dinner. In fact, eating food filled with carbohydrates for dinner will aid in getting a more restful sleep.”

Thud!

“Mr. Horte, are you sure you’re all right? You fell down again.”

“Cheerilee. Right now. Please!” Horte sighed. He didn’t want to do it since she was his friend, but he had no choice. Cheerilee had just broken Rainbow Dash’s record for the shortest-term employee he ever had.


It was midmorning of the following day and Cheerilee sat in a chair with a cup of hot coco, staring at her collection of two pink slips on her kitchen table. She had woken up early to go to work, only remembering she didn’t have a job anymore after she had jumped in the shower. It was only her first day out of work and already she missed it.

“Cheer up, Cheerilee,” she told herself. “It’s not the end of your career. Surely there are other places looking for a teacher.” But that would mean leaving Ponyville. She had lived here her whole life and didn’t want to think about starting somewhere new. “Maybe I could… get a different job. I wonder if…,” Cheerilee shivered and shook her head. “No! Never again. I can never go back to pro wrestling.” Some things were better left in the past.

Sighing, Cheerilee left her coco sitting on the table and quietly left her house. It was strange walking around Ponyville at this time of day on a Tuesday. Things were a lot busier than she expected. Already, many ponies were walking about, some working, others probably on their way to work. There weren’t any kids around though. School would start in approximately four minutes, and thirty-two seconds. The children must have all been at school by now.

Cheerilee forced herself to walk away from the direction of the schoolhouse. She had to stay focused on her goal of finding a new job, whatever that might end up being. However, the odds of finding a job (that didn’t have to do with waitressing) on the first day seemed rather slim. Surely, there must be a golden opportunity somewhere.

Cheerilee jumped when something landed next to her. It took her a minute to realize that it was a hammer. But where had it just come from?

“Sorry ma’am!” an earth pony shouted from a rooftop right above her. “I’m afraid my partner here is rather clumsy.” The pony indicated a grey pegasus whose eyes didn’t seem particularly focused. “Derpy, say you’re sorry and get that hammer back up here.”

The pegasus named Derpy scratched the back of her head and blushed. “Sorry. My bad.” Then she spread her wings and jumped down to the ground. The earth pony on the roof, face hoofed when Derpy hit the ground face first.

“Oh my goodness! Are you okay?” Cheerilee asked and helped Derpy up.

Derpy giggled. “I guess I forgot to fly.” Despite the fact that she probably should have suffered some sort of serious injury, Derpy spread her wings again and smiled, showing that she didn’t have a scratch on her.

“Dang it all, Derpy!” the pony above exclaimed. “I wouldn’t have to suffer through this if you hadn’t dropped that load of shingles on Roof Master.”

“Roof Master?” Cheerilee wondered allowed. “Excuse me sir, but are you by any chance shorthoofed today?”

“Yeah. The guy I usually work with got hurt the other day and Derpy here is the only extra I’ve got. It’s a real problem too. We still have three more leaky roofs to fix and I don’t know what my team and I are going to do about the re-roofing project tomorrow.”

“If you need some extra help, I could offer my assistance,” Cheerilee said with a smile.

“I don’t know. This is pretty tedious work.”

“I assure you, I’m a fast learner and a hard worker. I’ll do it or my name’s not Cheerilee.”

The earth pony scratched his head. “Well… I guess it can’t hurt to give you a chance. My names Storm Drain by the way.”

“Glad to make your acquaintance Storm Drain. If you don’t mind, I’m ready to start immediately.”

“I guess that’s fine. You can’t possibly do any more harm than Derpy.”


As soon as Apple Bloom ran into the new classroom, something didn’t seem right. She had accidentally overslept and gotten to school just before the bell rang, so she must have been the last one there. But it didn’t make any sense. Cheerilee had pointed out before that fewer teachers meant bigger class sizes, but for some reason she was looking at a class of eight students, not counting herself. Besides her three friends, and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, the only other students were Snips, Snails, and Noi.

“Take a seat please. You were almost late.” An earth pony with a white mane and a tan coat, raised an eyebrow at her. She wore large circular glasses, red earrings, and her cutie mark resembled… actually, Apple Bloom wasn’t sure what it looked like. Her cutie mark was five horizontal black lines. Maybe it had something to do with geometry?

“Don’t just stand there looking foolish. I said take a seat.” This had to be the new teacher, Ms. Plum.

Apple Bloom sheepishly took the only remaining seat, which happened to be next to Twist. Everyone else watched her closely. For some reason, the students all looked a little nervous.

“Good. Nine students. First day, perfect attendance and no tardies. Remember to try and keep it that way. It makes me look good.”

Had she really just said that? Apple Bloom looked around and saw the other students all smiling and nodding nervously, save for Scootaloo who slightly glared. Apparently, today was not a good day to be almost late. What in the world had she missed?

Ms. Plum walked to the front of the classroom and smacked her hoof on the chalkboard to get the class’s attention, as if she didn’t already have it. “My first order of business is to find out who is who in this class,” Plum began. Then she pointed at Silver Spoon. “You. What’s your name?”

“Silver Spoon, ma’am. And I’d like to add that I love your hair.” As it happened, both Silver Spoon and Plum had the same hairstyle. Unexpectedly, Plum raised her eyebrow and looked a little cross.

“Oh, a suck up are we? I know who’s sitting front and center from here on out.”

Silver Spoon gaped in shock as some of the other kids giggled.

“I think I like this new teacher,” Apple Bloom whispered to Twist. Twist just looked at her and grimaced.

“You with the hair bow!” Apple Bloom stood up out of her seat at full attention. “What’s your name?”

“Uh… um…”

“Oh, oh!” Twist raised her hoof. “Her name is Apple Bloom.”

“Okay… Apple Bloom.” Plum wrote something down on a piece of paper. “And your name?” she said to Diamond Tiara.

“What’d you do that for, Twist?” Apple Bloom asked crossly as she sat back down.

“Sorry. I just wanted to answer her question.”

“You always want to answer every question. And that was the first question I coulda answered all year too. Now she probably thinks I’m the dumb kid in class.”

“She wouldn’t think that.”

“What’s with that arrogant attitude?” Plum suddenly said to Scootaloo. “All I did was ask your name. I’ll bet you’re the class clown aren’t you? You think your funny, is that it?”

“Well… maybe she wouldn’t think that…,” Twist blushed.

Apparently, the new teacher wasn’t quite what the students had expected. Apple Bloom slumped angrily in her seat. “When she asks what your name is, Twist, I’m tellin’ her it’s Mud.”

Job Hunt

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Fixing leaks on a roof wasn’t too overly complicated. Cheerilee picked it up right away and after strapping on a tool belt, was helping Storm Drain and Derpy Hooves fix the second house on the list. However…

“Of course. I get that,” Derpy said to Cheerilee. “I’ve been making muffins for years, but I don’t really know why what I do makes them so good. Whenever other ponies make them they often come out kind of rubbery but I don’t know how to explain why.”

“I’ll tell you why,” Cheerilee happily replied. “The real secret to making muffins is that you don’t stir the batter too much. I’ll bet you are so used to making muffins that you whiz through the directions without even realizing that you’re doing that.”

“I guess so, but why is that?”

“Once flour is mixed with wet ingredients, strands of gluten protein in the flour stretch out and link up with other protein molecules. The more you mix, the stronger this gluten matrix becomes. Now, if you wanted to make a bagel, a strong matrix is just right, but with muffins, the texture should be more delicate. That’s why you mix dry ingredients in one bowl and wet ingredients in another. Do you understand now?”

“Yes, I get it! The science of muffins compels me!” Derpy cried before going silent a moment. “What’s a gluten matrix?”

“Gluten is a protein composite-”

“Excuse me!” Storm Drain interjected. “I know something else that’s mixing too much.” Cheerilee and Derpy both stared at him, waiting expectantly for what he was about to say. Storm Drain groaned. “I’m talking about the two of you. Am I supposed to fix this roof by myself? You’ve been standing there with the nails we need for like three minutes now.”

Both mares blushed and hurried over to the section of roof that needed repairing. They had already spent some time removing the old nails and Storm Drain had already laid the ice and storm shield. The only thing remaining was to place the flashing and start nailing the shingle layers in.

After bringing the nails, Cheerilee and Derpy went about the task of setting the flashing by hammering out lead buns from scrap pieces of lead. Storm Drain hadn’t been kidding about the tedious work, but at least it was a job. Content that they were doing the job right, Storm started setting the first layer of shingles down.

“So heating makes solids turn to liquids right?” Derpy suddenly asked around a mouthful of hammer. Cheerilee stopped hammering and nodded, impressed with Derpy’s sudden knowledge. “Then why do muffins form the way they do when you bake them? Batter is a liquid so why does it turn into a solid?”

Cheerilee spit out the hammer in her mouth, a certain sparkle igniting in her eyes. “That’s a very astute observation. I’m proud of you. During baking, leavening forms carbon dioxide, the egg and flour proteins and flour starches stretch to hold the little bubbles, then the heat coagulates or sets the proteins and starches around the little air bubbles, and browning occurs.”

A variable question mark appeared above Derpy’s head. “I don’t really get what that has to do with my question.”

“Well in all actuality, I’m not sure you can necessarily say that better is a true liquid. Because of its ingredients, it becomes a proteineous liquid, which means it has many proteins in it. Proteins are long chains of amino acids, and when you heat them, it changes the structure by breaking the force of attraction between the molecules.”

Derpy nodded slowly. “The science of muffins compels me again and kind of confuses me at the same time. I thought I knew everything about muffins but you know so much more. I didn’t even know about all this albino acid stuff.”

“You mean amino acid. Amino acids are molecules containing an amine group, a carboxylic acid and a side-chain that varies between different amino acids.”

“I don’t know about varying,” Storm Drain suddenly said from behind them. “But my side-chain seems to be deviating from their respective task.”

Cheerilee smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry again. Although I have to say that that was a fairly accurate analogy of side-chains you used there.”

“I minored in molecular biology. Are you two going to talk muffins and molecules all day or are you going to work?”

“Sorry about that again, again,” Cheerilee apologized.

“Derpy talks about muffins enough without you encouraging her.”

“That’s cause muffins are magic,” Derpy put in. “And now I know they’re scientifical too. Thanks Cheer!”

“You’re welcome,” Cheerilee replied happily. “Always glad to instill new knowledge in my students.”

“We’re not here to learn, we’re here to work. Well you’re here to learn but you’re doing pretty good so far,” Storm Drain said, pointing at Cheerilee. “Get some more shingle sheets you two and I’ll set the flashing.”

Cheerilee and Derpy looked at each other and shrugged. It seemed like Storm Drain was doing most of the work and bossed them around otherwise.

Determined to keep her job this time, Cheerilee carefully tread up the slanted roof to where they had brought up all their shingles earlier. The very top of the roof happened to be level, so it was safe to set them up there.

“We only need a few more rows. How many should we bring?” Cheerilee asked Derpy. The grey pegasus however wasn’t really paying attention. Her eyes stared off into space, in two different directions of course, as if she were thinking about something.

Eventually she said, “Muffins are muffins, right?”

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Bread is bread, pancakes are pancakes, so muffins are muffins, right?”

“Oh, I see what you’re saying,” Cheerilee said, handing Derpy a few shingles. “You’re asking what muffins actually are?” Derpy nodded as Cheerilee gave her more shingles. “Muffins are actually a type of quick bread.”

“So… they’re fast?”

“No, no. A quick bread is a type of bread leavened with a leavening agent other than yeast. Or at least they do now. Now that I think about it, traditionally, muffins were originally made with yeast. But changes in culture, the introduction of the specialty food shop, and the rise of coffee contributed to the changes in the ways ponies made muffins.”

“Um… Cheerilee?”

“Mass produced muffins made quite an impact on the ingredients because of the addition of preservatives and the growing expectation that muffins don’t have to go stale a few hours after baking them.”

“Cheerilee…?”

“Of course we all know that they don’t taste nearly as good as home-made, which is why Ponyville residents still prefers the traditional style over these so called new-age muffins. That in itself helped boost the gourmet snacks ponies expect to accompany gourmet coffee, since those muffins are considerably larger than the original style of muffins.”

“Cheerilee!” Derpy wailed. “Um, um, um…” Cheerilee realized that Derpy was beginning to tip over backwards. During her lecture, Cheerilee had continued to put shingles in Derpy’s hooves without thinking and the poor pegasus was overloaded and now threatening to fall down the side of the roof with her haul.

As Derpy fell on her back, Cheerilee dove and grabbed her tail in an attempt to stop her from sliding the rest of the way down. However, the jolt of Derpy’s sudden stop jarred the shingles out of her hooves and they went sliding down the slanted roof right to where Storm Drain was trying to set the flashing. He let out a brief scream before the piles of shingles struck him and sent him sliding down the roof and over the edge.

Cheerilee and Derpy both cringed when they heard the sound of Storm Drain smacking against the ground below. They cringed further when the shingles slid off the roof after him and they heard him cry out upon impact.

“Did we kill him?” Derpy asked in fear as a single hammer dropped from her tool belt, slid down the slanted roof and over the side where Storm made another noise as it hit him.

“No… sounds like he’s still alive…,” Cheerilee answered slowly. “I think it would be best to fetch some assistance.”

“That’s even better advice than the one about the glue matriarch.”


Fortunately, it just so happened that the roof they were fixing belonged to Nurse Redheart. Storm Drain would require a full body cast but otherwise was going to be just fine.

“I’m so sorry, Storm Drain. It was my fault you had that accident. If I hadn’t been so intent on lecturing, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“No, it’s my fault,” Derpy insisted. “If I wasn’t so intent on the science of muffins, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t blame either of you. Individually anyway.”

Cheerilee and Derpy both lowered their heads and silently sulked.

Redheart sighed. “I suppose I don’t need to tell you, but you’re not going to be working for quite a while, Storm Drain.”

“Yeah, I know. And neither is the company.”

“What? What do you mean?” Cheerilee asked.

“Fixing leaks is one thing but that re-roofing project we were supposed to have tomorrow is another entirely. City ordinance requires that at least one registered lead be present at any large construction project, even if all it is is replacing shingles. Roof Master and I were the only two ponies qualified and with both of us out of commission, well…,”

“Does… does this mean…?” Cheerilee couldn’t finish the sentence, but Storm Drain had no such reservations.

“I’m afraid everyone is going to be laid off until the two of us heal.”

“Oh no. I’ve already lost another job. And I cost the job of several other ponies. I’m so sorry, Storm Drain.”

“Can’t be helped at this point. I guess the schoolhouse is just going to have to delay the project for now.”

Cheerilee forgot her sorrow for a moment and slowly stared at him. “The schoolhouse? We were going to re-roof the school?”

“Yeah, but what’s done is done. They’re just going to have to wait.”

“You’re sure it’s the schoolhouse? The elementary school?”

“Yeah, I’m positive. Why?”

That certainly was strange. If the school was in the middle of a budget crisis then how could it afford a project like that?

“Well… never mind. I suppose it’s none of my business anymore. They must have saved a lot of money firing the other teachers and me.”

“Wait, you’re that Cheerilee? The one from the school?” Storm Drain asked in sudden recognition. Cheerilee nodded. How many other Cheerilee’s were there in Ponyville? “You’re my daughter’s teacher. She loves you. I didn’t know you got fired.”

“I guess times change. Don’t worry about me. I’ll find another job somehow.” Cheerilee said her goodbye and thanks to Storm Drain before turning to the grey pegasus in the room. “What about you, Derpy? Want to come job hunting with me?”

“Thanks for the offer but I don’t need to. I already have like four other jobs.”

“You do?” Cheerilee said in astonishment.

“Yep. Mailmare, moving mare, weather mare, something else I don’t remember off the top of my head and might be late for actually. I live a very active life.”

“How did you get so many jobs?”

“Cause I work for muffins.”

“Oh… How does that work out for you?”

“Pretty good. I get paid in other stuff too. Has something to do with tax write-offs I guess. You wouldn’t believe how many upscale parties I get invited too. I go all over the place. I even went across the boarder into Ponyland once or twice. There’s this amazing place called Dream Valley that’s like its own little paradise.”

“Yes, I’ve actually been there once,” Cheerilee replied, remembering her old college days again. But that thought just reminded her of her teaching career. Maybe the school would let her back if she worked for muffins. Then again, considering who Derpy was, that might have been some kind of special arrangement. Cheerilee didn’t think anypony but Derpy could live off muffins.

After walking outside, Cheerilee sighed and glanced at the sun. Only about ten thirty. She had managed to keep the job a few hours longer than her waitressing one, but to lose three jobs in two days was more than depressing. Who knew working outside of your trained profession could be so difficult.

“I can’t really be that worthless can I?” she said to herself. “Don’t say things like that Cheerilee. You have to remain positive. Getting down is just going to…,” But it was all she could feel at the moment other than a strange itching on her flank. It was as if her cutie mark was trying to yell at her too. Cheerilee sat down in the middle of the street and silently sulked. What was wrong with her? This wasn’t like her at all.

Cheerilee perked her ears when a quartet of ponies on the corner of the street suddenly started playing musical instruments and one of them began to sing.

Poor Cheerilee, please don’t give up

You must have hope, a spring in your step

It’s all about they way you work

If you don’t, you’ll look like a jerk

Take it from us, you’ll find the way

It just takes time and curds and way

Heeeeeeeeeey

Heeeeeeeeeey.

Cheerilee smiled. “Thank you, random wandering minstrels. I feel strangely better now.”

“You’re welcome,” the four minstrels said together and pointed to a cup sitting in front of them. Cheerilee smiled sheepishly and dropped two bits in the cup.

“It’s getting to the point where I’m losing money. But the minstrels are right. It just takes time and curds and way… whatever that means…,”

Not quite sure what that last line meant, Cheerilee shrugged and decided it would be best to move along and search for her next job. As long as that job wasn’t teaching, unfortunately. Cheerilee stared at the sky. “I certainly hope my… I mean the new teacher’s students are enjoying their lessons.” That thought in mind, Cheerilee told herself that her students were fine as long as they still had a teacher, even if it wasn’t her.


“Who can answer this math problem on the board?” Plum asked the class. Twist quickly raised her hoof as she always did, but this time Plum sighed and shook her head. “Put your hoof down. We all know how smart you are, Mud. You’ve already answered every question I’ve asked today.”

“Um, Ms. Plum?” Twist asked rather pitifully. “My name is not really-” But Plum ignored her and focused her eyes on another student.

“How about you Scootaloo? Does your smart mouth have an answer for me?”

Twist slumped in her chair and whispered to Apple Bloom. “I still can’t believe you told her my name is Mud.”

“I didn’t know she’d believe me.”

“No answer from the clown eh? Not even anything funny to say, eh?” Plum said a bit too sarcastically as Scootaloo frowned sourly and blushed at her inability to answer the question. Plum twisted her head sharply to the opposite side of the class. “You in the back! Tall Kid! Can you answer the question?”

“At least it’s better than poor Snips and Snails over there,” Apple Bloom whispered. Plum had stopped asking for names after Sweetie Belle. The two young unicorn colts were currently known as Chubby and Tall Kid.

“Apple Bloom!” Plum suddenly shouted after Snails had failed to answer the question.

Apple Bloom sat up straight. “Yes?”

Plum pushed her glasses further up her nose and examined her. “Hmm… No. You couldn’t even remember your own name.” Then she turned away and walked back to the chalkboard.

“Told ya she’d think I’m the dumb kid.”

“Sorry,” Twist apologized.

“Well!” Plum said, pointing at the board. “Since none of you except for Mud can answer this question, it looks like I’m going to have to assign extra homework today.”

“I miss Cheerilee,” Twist said miserably.

“Tell me about it.”

Plum looked around the room for a moment as if deciding something and abruptly pulled a saddlebag out from behind her desk. Reaching inside, she pulled out a small stack of papers. “Fortunately, I anticipated this and already took the liberty of writing up your extra homework.”

The unanimous groan the classroom uttered may very well have been heard in the next room over, but Plum ignored it and went about passing out the papers, balancing on her back hooves and holding them in her forelegs. Each paper she placed seemed to come with an extra appraisal by her sharp eyes on whichever student she happened to be standing in front of. Even Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon seemed quite intimidated by her glare.

As she came to Apple Bloom, she took an extra long gaze before pulling out a paper from the bottom of the pile. “Don’t disappoint me, Apple Bloom,” she said rather harshly. “You’d better finish every last question before tomorrow.”

Why did she have to go and say that? Apple Bloom took the paper without meeting Plum’s eyes and laid it on her desk. She glanced at the first problem. Several seconds later, she realized she was staring at it. Word problem! Anything but that! It didn’t look very easy either. In fact, she didn’t see any of the keywords Cheerilee had been discussing since the week before.

Plum grunted after passing out the last paper and getting back down on all fours. “It’s way too awkward walking around like that. Be a better class and don’t make me do that again, would you?” She reached around and held her back, apparently in pain. Diamond Tiara snickered. “What was that?” Plum suddenly shouted at her. “Laughing at your teacher are you?

“Not really,” Diamond lied, smiling smugly.

“I see. The snotty brat type, are we?” Plum said with something that looked like a grin but possibly more devilish. Diamond gaped at her. “Spoiled rotten by daddy and thinking you can get away with anything, eh? Let’s see what detention has to say about that.”

“Detention!? But I’ve never had detention before!”

“First time fore everything, sister. Welcome to real life.” Plum appeared more proud then was really necessary.

“No way! You can’t send me to detention for that.”

“That’s what you think. Keep up the backtalk and it’ll be double detention.”

Diamond started to say something but instead clinched her mouth shut and growled.

Even though Apple Bloom didn’t get along with Diamond, she couldn’t help but feel that it wasn’t really her fault. Looking at her sit there, her face red with anger and a hint of tears beginning to form in her eyes, Apple Bloom actually felt bad for her. True she was a bit of a bully but she really hadn’t ever had detention before.

“Ms. Plum?” Twist suddenly raised her hoof.

Plum openly groaned. “What Mud? Do you have something else to say today?” she said sharply.

Twist slunk down. “Never mind.”

“That’s better.” Again, Plum looked way too proud of herself. Then she busily wrote a random equation on the board. “Who can answer this one?”

Apple Bloom stared at the problem. y = -3x - 2 and 6x + 2y = -4. Cheerilee had never taught anything like that before and Ms. Plum hadn’t gone over this either. What were they even supposed to do with it? This was so much harder than times tables.

After a few seconds, Twist raised her hoof. Plum however, glared at her. “Put your hoof down, Mud.” Looking quite hurt, Twist retracted her hoof and slouched. “Sweetie Belle, what’s the answer?”

Sweetie Belle stiffened from where she was sitting next to Silver Spoon in the front row. She stared at the problem and gulped. “Um… 3?”

“Ha! That’s a stupid answer. Did you even look at it?” Plum mocked.

“Uh… uh…,” Sweetie visibly sweat, still staring at the question. “I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do,” she finally admitted.

“So in other words you’re wearing the dunce cap today. What students.” Plum shook her head. “Anyone else care to give the right answer?”

No one moved. Only silence greeted the impatient teacher. Then finally, a hoof meekly rose, accompanied by a hopeful smile by a certain red-haired filly.

Plum groaned. “Fine. Mud?”

“1 and -5.” Twist said proudly.

Plum looked at Twist with a raised eyebrow. “I don’t know why but something about your voice is very irritating.”

Twist gaped for a moment in shock before silently slumping down in her desk. When Plum erased the board and asked her next question, Twist didn’t even move.

Apple Bloom laid her head down on her desk. “This. Is the meanest. Teacher. Ever.” Apple Bloom watched as Plum chucked an eraser across the room to get a sleeping Snips’ attention, hitting him straight in the eye. “Don’t they have laws against teachers like this?”

This was going to be the worst school year ever too if Apple Bloom stayed on Plum’s dirt list… along with the rest of the class apparently. Apple Bloom lifted her head and realized she was lying on her homework sheet. Maybe that would be the ticket. If she could impress Plum with a good homework grade, then maybe things would get a little better. Apple Bloom made up her mind and decided to try her darndest for a perfect homework score.


Cheerilee stood stock-still as her latest employer stuck a pink slip in her mouth.

“Look, I’m sorry, but I can’t have you telling my customers what they should and should not buy. Even worse, I can’t have you suggesting other stores for better deals… on everything,” he said, motioning inside his store.

“Yes, but… the prices here are rather high, and common sense and logic dictates-”

“I sell high-end and organic food. It’s supposed to be a little more expensive.”

“Wouldn’t it be wiser to lower your prices a little to match the comparative advantage? It would greatly benefit you by nature of the law of demand as well.”

“I don’t care about whatever the heck it is you just said. I want to make a profit.”

“But that is what I just said.”

“Just leave. You’re already fired anyway.”

“But the way you currently run your business won’t even net you a competitive market equilibrium. Especially considering that Sweet Apple Acres has virtually cornered the market on organic food along with decent productive efficiency and-”

Slam! Apparently, Cheerilee’s advice would be ignored today.

“I’m just trying to help you stay in business!” she called, though she realized she probably should have discussed that with him before she started advising his customers. “Another job lost.” Cheerilee ho-hummed, wondering just how she had become so good at losing jobs. How could she have lost so many before noon?

As she started to search for her next job, Cheerilee was surprised to see the same four minstrels from earlier that day, lined up across the street. Their strange felt hats and tunic-like garbs made them stand out among the rest of the inhabitants of Ponyville who usually didn’t wear anything on a normal day like this. Each of them had a cutie mark related to a not so common instrument they held in their hooves. One of them had a flageolet, another a kettledrum, another strangely enough had bagpipes, and the one that had sang earlier held a cittern.

As soon as they saw her, they nodded their heads and started to play another song.

Poor Cheerilee, you failed so hard

Take it from these simple bards

You took up the task and looked like a dope

You messed up real bad, you slipped on the soap

What were you thinking you silly dope?

Heeeeeeeeeey

Heeeeeeeeeey.

“Curse you, wandering minstrels!” Cheerilee shouted, throwing a rock at them. “That wasn’t encouraging at all. In fact I would say it was snide and disparaging.”

“Hey, calm down, lady. You’re looking kind of frazzled,” the minstrel with the cittern said unfazed.

“Frazzled? Of course I’m frazzled. I can’t seem to keep a job to save my life. In fact it is about saving my life.”

“Is it really that serious?” the one with the bagpipes asked.

“Of course it is! Do you have any idea how an economy works? Do you know how the circular flow of income works?” The four minstrels remained silent and looked at one another. “I’ll tell you then! The economy we live in is controlled almost entirely by the income of both producers and consumers. Producers provide consumers with goods and services in exchange for consumer expenditure and factors of production from the consumers. But the consumers are also producers because they must work to make an income in which to spend on products, which are made by producers. That is because in any exchange process, the seller or producer receives the same amount that the buyer or consumer spends. If I don’t have a job then I’m not being a productive member of society and can’t participate in this intricate web of buying and selling that benefits the entire community and ultimately the world!” Cheerilee took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I may have exaggerated just a slight bit but that’s basically how it works.”

The minstrels looked at each other again, apparently unimpressed by her explanation.

Cheerilee groaned. “What are wandering minstrels doing in Ponyville anyway?”

“Working!” they all answered simultaneously.

“Oh…,” Cheerilee said, feeling a bit ashamed of herself. “How’s business going?”

“Meh. Could be better. You’re the first one today to pay us,” the one with the kettledrum said casually.

“If I could make a suggestion, your lyrics aren’t very good. I just realized that they don’t make a lot of sense.”

“Yeah, we know. But we don’t have a lyricist right now so we just have to wing it.”

“Really? I don’t really know much about song writing, but…,”

“No!” they said unanimously.

“We’ve been following you around all day and don’t need to hear anymore lectures,” the one with the cittern remarked.

“It is pretty entertaining to watch you annoy others though,” the minstrel with the flageolet said.

“You shouldn’t get enjoyment from watching another pony’s misfortunes,” Cheerilee scolded them.

“We’re not. We’re getting enjoyment from watching you fail.”

“What!?” Cheerilee said with sudden flair. “I’m not failing. I’m just succeeding very slowly.”

“Could have fooled us. Even we’re making a better living than you are right now and we’re hopelessly self-employed in a dead end job that has virtually no demand,” the cittern carrying minstrel said with a smirk.

Perhaps it had something to do with the events of the previous day. Perhaps it had something to do with her growing collection of pink slips. Perhaps it was just because a sunlamp salespony happened to set up shop behind her at that moment, but Cheerilee began to heat up as her cutie mark itched her further.

“I swore under the eyes of Celestia that I would have a job. I’m going to get that job if it’s the last thing I do. You got that, wandering minstrels? Nothing’s going to stop me. I will teach again.” Then a fire ignited in her eyes and Cheerilee was struck with a sudden idea. “You’re self-employed. Why didn’t I think of that? I could sell my talent as a public service.”

“Isn’t that technically what a teacher is anyway?” the minstrel with the flageolet asked.

Abruptly, another thought crossed Cheerilee’s mind and she eyed the minstrels with new interest. “You all don’t have anywhere in particular to be. How would you like to be my students? How about a lecture on the history of Star Swirl the Bearded?”

The minstrels paled. “No thanks,” they all said together.

“Are you sure? It would enrich your lives.”

The minstrels paled further and the one with the cittern turned to the rest. “You know what? I think we’ve waited around in Ponyville long enough. Who wants to go to Hoofington?”

“Wait! Perhaps you’d like me to tell you about the legend of the Moochick instead?”

The minstrels looked at one another again. “You know we should really get going,” the minstrel with the bagpipes said as he and the others started to walk away.

“Wait! I know,” Cheerilee said as she followed them. “I could tell you all about the history of the lima bean.”

That was all the minstrels needed to hear. “Run away!” they all screamed before doing just that.

“Come back here!” Cheerilee shouted, picking up the chase. “How about a lecture on the constellations or the correct way to iron a shirt? Let me teach you the lore of Ogopogo!” In a not so subtle transformation, the usually energetic teacher became a bullet train of random facts and trivia, chasing down her newest pupils with renewed passion. “You owe me 23 bits for my lecture on the circular flow of income!” she screamed as her flank burned from a strange sensation that originated from her cutie mark.


Twilight Sparkle and Spike were on their way to the stationary store when Spike suddenly belched up a letter.

“Why do I always feel like I have heart burn when that happens?” Spike asked as Twilight ignored his plight in favor of reading the letter that had undoubtedly come from her mentor Princess Celestia, who also happened to be the ruler of all of Equestria.

“It looks like Princess Celestia is going to need me, Spike,” Twilight told him excitedly.

“What is it this time? Disease? Famine? Monster attack? Zombies?”

Twilight raised her eyebrow at him. “You’re really bent on that silly zombie idea. But no. Nothing dangerous this time. She’s going to be meeting a diplomat from another country and wants me to be there. Isn’t that exciting?”

“Thrilling,” Spike said, rolling his eyes.

“Spike, take a letter.” Twilight cleared her throat as Spike pulled out a quill and paper from some unknown place. “Dear Princess Celestia-”

“Wait! Don’t do this!” a voice suddenly shouted from a nearby shop. Twilight was shocked when she witnessed Cheerilee shoved out a door by a store clerk.

“Look, this is a furniture store, not a school. Take your random lessons somewhere else. And don’t come in just to sit behind the desks either.”

“But this could be the lecture that changes your life. Doesn’t the theory of the morphogenetic field sound even the least bit interesting to you?” Cheerilee asked.

“No!” the owner shouted as he slammed the door.

Cheerilee charged the door and banged on it with her front hooves. “You don’t understand. I know I can convince you. You won’t regret it. Come out here and let me lecture you!” The sign on the inside abruptly flipped from open to closed. Cheerilee stared at the sign in disgust. “Fine! I see how it is. I’ll find someone else who will listen. You’ll see. Somepony else is going to grow up to be the richest pony in the world and then you’ll regret it. You’ll be begging me for a lecture. You hear me!?”

“Cheerilee?” Twilight asked in surprise.

Cheerilee turned in equal surprise, only then realizing what she apparently had been doing for the last two hours and twenty-three minutes.

The two mares stared at each other for a moment.

Finally, Twilight decided to break the awkward silence. “Cheerilee, all I can think of to say is… what the fudge happened to you?”

“And why do you look like a hurricane survivor?” Spike commented, noting Cheerilee’s unkempt mane, wild eyes, and frizzy coat. Even her tail seemed in disarray.

“Spike!” Twilight scolded.

“No, he’s right. I am a mess,” Cheerilee admitted, feeling embarrassed by her recent behavior. “I lost my job yesterday.” The burning sensation from her cutie mark finally subsided, and Cheerilee just felt downtrodden.

“You!?” Twilight said in astonishment. “I don’t believe it.”

“I already found three different jobs today, but so far I haven’t been able to keep any of them.”

“Wait. You’ve lost three jobs just today and it’s not even two o’clock yet?” Twilight glanced at the sun in amazement. “That’s quite a feat in its own right. How did that happen?”

“Well… I have this habit of trying to give lectures while I’m on the job.”

“What?” Twilight said in shock. “And you’re employers fault you for that? What nerve.”

“I try not to, but it’s just what I do. The day I decided to become a teacher is when I realized how much hope I had to help my students bloom with the knowledge I provide for them.”

“I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same way,” Twilight said, empathetically.

Spike groaned. “Clearly this meeting was destined to happen.”

“At the rate things are going, I might have to fire myself from self-employment and try something else. If I can’t find a real job soon, I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Cheerilee said sadly.

“Self-employment?” Twilight said aloud, wondering if that had to do with whatever Cheerilee had been doing a few moments before.

“Have you ever tried to sell lectures on the street? It turns out it doesn’t work very well.”

“I think I understand what you mean,” Twilight lied, trying to make sense of why anypony would have attempted such a random sounding job. “I know how hard it is to try and make a living for yourself.”

“Uh… Twilight?” Spike interjected. “You live off a pension from Princess Celestia for studying friendship at your leisure and could get practically anything you asked from her. How could you possibly understand what Cheerilee’s going through?”

Twilight silently scooted Spike away with her back hoof before continuing.

“If you need a relatable job, why not try the natural history museum? I’m sure they could use somepony of your talents.”

Cheerilee lowered her head. “I already looked into it but they had a robbery last week and aren’t open at the moment. Apparently they’re investigating their security or something.”

That was news. Twilight hadn’t even heard about that. Perhaps she had been cooped up in the library for too long.

“Hang on. Let me finish writing my letter first and then we can talk about this over some tea.” Cheerilee nodded, looking more depressed than Twilight had ever seen of her. “Let’s make this quick, Spike. Where did I leave off?”

“Dear Princess Celestia… and that’s it.”

“Right. Lets see.” Twilight cleared her throat and began. “Dear Princess Celestia, I am honored that you have asked me to be present at your meeting with the Prime Minster of Ponyland. As such, I gratefully accept your invitation and will prepare myself for the meeting this Saturday without delay. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”

“Student!?” Cheerilee suddenly interjected as the burning on her flank returned. “That’s right. You’re Princess Celestia’s student.”

Twilight nodded happily. “Yep. I wouldn’t be where I am today without my mentor. I can still remember the day I became her personal student as if it were yesterday.”

“Yes. You’re a student,” Cheerilee said with a strange grin. “Do you need any help in your studies?”

“Pardon?”

Abruptly, Cheerilee leaned in really close. “Would you like me to help you with your studies? Do you want to be my student?”

“Um… what?”

“Forget Princess Celestia. You’ve been learning from her for years. Try a new teacher.”

Cheerilee’s face was practically touching Twilight’s, making her feel beyond uncomfortable. “I hate to sound rude, but how could you possibly top Princess Celestia? I mean she practically made the world we live in.”

“Yes, but that’s only one perspective and I’m sure I have all kinds of knowledge you’ve never heard before. Besides, what if something really hard comes up and you don’t know how to handle it? Wouldn’t it be great to have a teacher on hoof?”

Twilight swallowed and thought before answering. “I-I-I-I’ll think about it. Okay? Just give me a little time.”

“Sure. Of course. Take all the time you need.” Cheerilee nodded rather mechanically. Ten silent seconds later, Cheerilee hadn’t moved. She stared at Twilight, still smiling expectantly.

“Twilight, she’s still there,” Spike whispered into Twilight’s ear.

“Give me a little time to think about it… alone,” Twilight finally said.

“Sure. Sure. Of course. Take all the time you need.” Cheerilee backed up, nodding her head again, until she disappeared around the side of the building.

After she had left, Twilight broke the awkward silence. “Well… that was…,”

“Creepy?” Spike finished for her.

“No. It was just…” Twilight racked her brain, but she couldn’t think of a better word to describe it. “Anyway, maybe we should find some way to help her. I’m sure there are plenty of jobs that a pony of her caliber could…,” Twilight trailed off when she heard the sound of hooves beating against the ground at a rapid pace until they came to a sudden halt behind her. Twilight and Spike slowly turned around.

“Have you thought it over yet?” Cheerilee smiled so wide, she bared her teeth.

“Did you just gallop around the building?” Twilight asked cautiously.

“Yes!” Cheerilee answered loudly, her left eye slightly twitching.

“Twilight, she’s scaring me,” Spike said, hiding under Twilight’s tail.

Twilight cleared her throat nervously. “I’m still thinking…,”

“Just say no. Just say no,” Spike pleaded under his breath.

“Well… I mean…,” Twilight looked around helplessly.

“Remember what Celestia taught you. Just say no to drugs,” Spike pleaded again, staring at Cheerilee’s cracked out looking face.

“Let me think about it overnight, okay?”

“Nooooooo!” Spike fell over dramatically in slow motion as if he had been shot.

“Oh… okay,” Cheerilee said quietly, drooping a little. Then she sprang back to life. “But if you change your mind sooner then that, you’ll tell me, riiiiiiiiight?”

Twilight tried to ignore the sweat forming on her face. “Of course. I’ll tell you straight away… at your house…,”

“Okay. Okay.” Cheerilee nodded rapidly. “I’ll be waiting. At my house. Remember, at my house.” She dashed away, practically knocking over a pony selling newspapers, presumably in the direction of her home.

“Why did you tell her that?” Spike asked, finally finished falling over.

“I had to, Spike. I’m not going to let her-”

“Remember, I’ll be waiting at my house,” Cheerilee said, peeking her head around the side of the building before disappearing again.

Twilight cleared her throat again. “I’m not going to let her go through this alone. Princess Celestia wouldn’t let a pony in need go it alone and neither will I.”

“Oh yeah? And what are you going to do for that?” Spike retorted, implying Cheerilee’s behavior. “I think she’s had a few too many smoked grass barbecues if you know what I mean.”

“I was going to suggest she become a private tutor, but somehow I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.”

“Not unless you want to scar somepony for life,” Spike added. “Maybe you should send her over to be Trixie’s teacher. That would be amusing.”

“We’re not here to be amused, Spike. Cheerilee’s going through a real life crisis and we need to help.”

“Again, how are we going to do that? It’s not like we can get her a job at the library. You already have two assistants and we work for free.”

“I’m going to do exactly what a good student should do in this case. Study.”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “How’s that going to help?”

“I’m going to study career planning manuals and want ads. I’m sure I can find a solution to her problem by tomorrow,” Twilight said confidently as she hailed the newspaper pony.

“I still like the idea of letting her teach Trixie, but whatever you think is best.”

“I know I’m right, Spike. After all, I’m a student of Princess Celestia.”

Super Homework

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“I am bushed,” Applejack said as soon as she came through the door of her home in Sweet Apple Acres. Like always, she had spent most of the day working on the farm, from apple bucking to weed pulling and various other jobs in between. After such a long day of work, it was always nice to come back to the house for a hot meal.

“I sure hope Granny Smith has got dinner goin’ already. I’m starvin’.” Applejack was about to make her way onto the kitchen to filch a little taste test of dinner when she noticed Apple Bloom sitting in the living room, staring at a piece of paper in front of her on the table.

“Hey Apple Bloom. Whatcha doin’ there?”

“Lookin’ at my homework.”

“Okay… Shouldn’t you be, I dunno, workin’ on your homework?”

Apple Bloom slowly looked at her sister disheartedly. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“Well if you’re that lost, I guess I can help ya till dinner.” Applejack pranced into the living room and sat down next to her sister as she removed her hat. “What kind of homework is it?”

“Math.”

Applejack paused for a moment. “Really?” She cleared her throat. “So what kind of math is this? Times tables or somethin’? I’m sure I could help ya with that.” Applejack grinned and read the first problem on the sheet. “A pegasus flyin’ from town A to town D must first pass through town B and then through town C. It is 10 miles farther from A to B than from B to C and 10 miles farther from B to C than from C to D. If it is 390 miles from A to D, how far is it from A to B?”

Silence.

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “Hey Applejack, whatcha doin’?”

Applejack frowned. “Starin’ at your homework.”

“Shouldn’t you be, I dunno, workin’ on it?”

“Don’t you sass me. It ain’t my homework,” Applejack retorted sternly.

“But I still don’t get it.”

“I know and I promised to help ya, so that’s just what I’ma goin’ to do. I just uh…,” Applejack looked around until she spied Big Macintosh passing by the room. “I just need a little backup. Big Macintosh, help your sisters out here. We… I mean Apple Bloom needs a little math educatin’.”

Macintosh paused, shrugged, and sat down across from them. “Whatcha got?” Apple Bloom read the problem again as Big Macintosh listened thoughtfully. As she finished, Macintosh blinked a few times. “Really? Kids are doin’ that kinda math already?” He took a few minutes to think it over. “You got some scratch paper?”

Applejack paled. “You know what, why don’t we just move on to the next question. Let’s see…,” Applejack glance at the paper and looked at problem number two. “A hardware store owner purchased 144 identically priced hammers from a wholesaler. When the hardware store owner wanted to set his sellin’ price, he checked the shop’s record for the wholesale price. His accountant had written a total of 1,#25.4# bits where the #'s represent illegible digits because the receipt was smudged. Determine the wholesale price of a single hammer.” Applejack stared. “You gotta be kiddin’ me. I didn’t even understand that. Ain’t somethin’ missin’?”

“See what I mean? I can’t figure out any of these,” Apple Bloom whined. “What am I gonna do? I have to get this done by tomorrow.”

Feeling for her sister’s predicament, Applejack put a hoof around her. “Don’t you fret none little sister. Mac and I ain’t gonna let you fail this. Let’s just go about this logical-like. We’ll start with the easiest question and work our way up to the harder ones. Right, Big Macintosh?”

Macintosh didn’t answer. He was busy trying to figure out the hardware problem on a piece of scratch paper.

“All right. We’ll just leave the hard ones to you. Let’s see…,” Applejack scanned the homework sheet again. “Ah, here’s a short one,” She said excitedly. “This one aught to be easy.” She smiled as she read the question. “Evaluate the integral of cos(x)/(1+x^2).” And that was it. Applejack blinked and read it a second time. “What? What does that mean? Is this even math?”

“I have no idea…,” Apple Bloom said softly.

“This is ridiculous. How many problems are even on this thing?”

Apple Bloom smiled apologetically. “Thirty.”

Silence.

“You’re jokin’ with me. You are jokin’ with me, right?”

Apple Bloom’s ears drooped. “I wish I was.”

Applejack gaped for a moment, but the look on her sister’s face filled her with determination. “We can’t give up, Apple Bloom. We’re gonna finish this homework of yours or my names not Applejack.”


Rarity smiled as she put the finishing garnish on the dinner plates. “There we go. Perfection,” she said happily. “It could not have been done better if I had done it myself. Oh, but I did do it,” she squealed, metaphorically patting herself on the back. “Sweetie Belle, dinnertime!” Rarity listened for a moment, but she didn’t hear her younger sister’s voice. She didn’t hear her getting into any kind of mischief. She didn’t hear anything. Suspicious.

Making sure to place the dinner plates on the table just so, Rarity left the kitchen in search of her sister. She didn’t have to wander far. She found Sweetie Belle feverishly writing with a pencil, almost looking as if she were about to explode if the slightest thing disturbed her. Rarity was astonished. She had never seen her sister working so hard on anything like this before. Before she could wonder if an alien had traded places with Sweetie Belle, her sister let out a huge groan and laid her head on the table.

“I’m never gonna finish this,” she moaned.

“Sweetie Belle, it’s time for dinner. Is everything all right?”

Sweetie looked at Rarity quite disgruntled. “I’ll be there in a second, sis. I’m just trying to figure out this homework problem first.”

“Homework?” Rarity said with a slight flair of anger. “Sweetie, how many times have mother and father told you that you should start your homework as soon as you come home?”

“But I did. I’ve been working on it ever since I came back.”

“Pardon?” Rarity looked at the clock. “That was five hours ago. What have you been doing all this time?”

“Homework.” Rarity raised an eyebrow at her. “I swear, sis. I really have been working on it the whole time.”

“Sweetie…,” Rarity said sternly.

Before Sweetie Belle could explain though, the two sisters heard a knock at the door.

“Hold on, Sweetie. We’ll discuss this in a moment.”

“But Rarity…,”

Rarity ignored her sister however, and headed for the door. After all, who could possibly be calling right at dinnertime? “Coming!” she called just before she opened the door. She was only a little surprised to see a young filly with pegasus wings standing outside. “Scootaloo? What are you doing here so late?”

“Hi Rarity. Is Sweetie Belle here?” If Rarity didn’t know any better, she could almost swear that Scootaloo looked nervous about something.

“Yes, but its dinnertime, let alone rather late to come out and play. Shouldn’t you be home as well?”

“I just need to ask her something real quick,” she said, smiling as large as she could.

As if sensing that her friend was there, Sweetie Belle came to the door just then. “Hey, Scoot. What are you doing here?”

“Sweetie Belle. Heeeelllllp!” Scootaloo suddenly wailed.

“Let me guess, you only just now looked at the homework.” Scootaloo nodded her head rapidly and whimpered in reply. “I don’t know if I can help you. I only answered three problems and I don’t even think they’re right.”

“What?” Rarity interjected. “You’ve been doing homework for five hours and you have only answered three questions?” Rarity stormed back inside and over to the table where Sweetie Belle had been working. “This is completely unacceptable, Sweetie Belle. I am not going to permit you to fail because you don’t understand some silly homework.”

“But sis, it’s really, really hard.”

“No buts about it, Sweetie. Now you and Scootaloo set your bottoms down over here and I’ll show you how to do this homework.”


Twilight looked up from her studying when she heard a knock at the door. Glancing at the clock, she noted that it was already 10PM. “Now who could that be this late?” She got up and went to the door, but paused as she was about to open it. “It couldn’t be Cheerilee. Even she wouldn’t drop by now.” Or would she? Twilight still wasn’t finished researching career planning methods and found herself unprepared to deal with Cheerilee at the movement. “Who is it? If this is a certain pony looking for a student then this is just a recording.”

“Twilight, I can see your shadow underneath the door. If you want to come up with poor excuses, at least make them plausible. Now please open up. I need to ask you something.”

That voice! It certainly wasn’t Cheerilee. Twilight opened the door to find a white unicorn and two fillies standing there. “Hi Rarity. Is something going on?”

“Oh no. Nothing that important really.” Rarity smiled coyly. “I know it’s late and all, but I know you often work late into the night so… um… I was just wondering… could you perhaps help my sister and Scootaloo with their homework?” she asked, pointing to the two fillies, both of whom waved a hello.

“Homework?” Twilight brightened. “I guess I could use a break. I’d be happy to.”

“Thank you so much, Twilight. I mean, I would love to help my dear sweet sister, but I am just swamped, and I mean completely busy with a very important order for a very important client of mine right now, otherwise, I would have helped her right away, but seeing as I’m sooooooooooo incredibly busy…,”

“Okay. I get it,” Twilight said quickly. “I’ll help them. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thank you so much, Twilight. Now if you’ll excuse me-”

“Wait just one second. Why are you coming over now? It’s ten o’clock already. Shouldn’t they have finished it earlier?”

Rarity’s smile wavered slightly. “If it comes to it, would it be all right if they spent the night? Scootaloo has already asked her mother.”

“I guess but-”

“Thank you so much, Twilight. Well… tootaloo.” And Rarity disappeared before Twilight had a chance to say another word.

“Wow. That must be some client.”

“Don’t believe her, Twilight,” Sweetie Belle said with an annoyed expression. “She’s just saying that because she couldn’t figure out any of my homework.”

“Ah, Sweetie Belle, don’t say that. You know Rarity often has important orders to fill.”

“You haven’t seen the homework yet,” Scootaloo said knowingly.

“Now, now, my little ponies. Homework is just a tool to help young minds grow and learn all kinds of wonderful things. In fact, homework is fun. Here, I’ll show you.”

“You’ll be sorry,” Scootaloo told her.

“Nonsense. I’ll have you understanding your homework in no time.


Apple Bloom, Applejack, Big Macintosh, and even Granny Smith sat around the living room table. Between them, a series of papers with various numbers, marks, and half erased answers, were strewn about.

Applejack rubbed her temples and groaned. “Okay, read it just one more time.”

Apple Bloom sighed and read from the paper in front of her. “Every month, a filly gets allowance. Assume last year she had no money, and kept it up to now. Then she spends 1/2 of her money on clothes, then 1/3 of the remaining money on games, and then 1/4 of the remaining money on toys. After she bought all of that, she had 7777 bits left. Assumin’ she only gets money by allowance, how much money does she earn every month?”

Applejack stared into open space for a moment before throwing her hooves up. “I give up! What the hay kind a homework is this!? I ain’t never seen mathematics like this before!” Applejack’s stomach chose that moment to growl, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten dinner yet. “And I’m still hungry. Do you have the answer, Big Macintosh?”

Big Macintosh scribbled a few numbers on the paper in front of him, examined it and then answered, “Nnope.”

Applejack groaned again. “Granny?”

Granny rocked silently in her chair. Finally she answered, “Could you repeat the question?”

“Oh for the love of…,” Applejack groaned yet again. “I can’t believe this. What time is it? My gosh. What is Cheerilee thinkin’?”

“Cheerilee didn’t assign it. She got fired yesterday. Didn’t I tell you that?” Apple Bloom said.

Applejack stared at her. “What? Cheerilee? Cheerilee got fired? You’re kiddin’ me.”

“No. It’s the new teacher Ms. Plum, who assigned this.”

“Oh really.” Applejack picked her hat up off the floor and pulled it tightly over her head. “Well, I might just have to have a talk with this she-devil and the Principal tomorrow.”

“Eeyup,” Big Macintosh said, writing some more numbers with his pencil.

“I don’t know, Applejack. She’s kinda scary. And really mean too. She even thinks I’m the dumb kid in class.”

“Did she actually say that to you?”

“Uh… not exact-”

“No way! Nopony calls my little sister dumb. Where does this Plum pony live? I’m goin’ straight over there and drag her hide outta bed and get to the bottom of this right now.”

“Um… actually I have no idea where she lives.”

“Well somepony’s gotta know,” Applejack said angrily, aiming for the door.

“You’re really goin’ now?”

“Sure as shootin’ I am. I’ll teach this new teacher a thing or two.” That said, Applejack went out the door, almost slamming it behind her.

Apple Bloom wasn’t sure what to say. Silently, she was celebrating. If anypony could straighten out that scary teacher, it was Applejack.

“There we go,” Big Mac suddenly announced. “2592.33 bits a month.”

“Whoa! Really? That’s huge?” Apple Bloom stared at her brother. “I wish I got allowances like that. How’d you figure it out?”

“Like that.” Big Macintosh pointed at the paper.

Apple Bloom gazed at the paper for a few moments. “You’re writins awful, Big Mac.”

“Eeyup.”

Apple Bloom sighed. She had no idea what Macintosh had written down, but if Applejack really did get after Plum, then maybe she wouldn’t have to worry about it. Hopefully.


Spike yawned and scratched his stomach as he got out of his basket. It was six in the morning, but it was his turn to make breakfast, so he had to get up before Twilight. Except, Twilight wasn’t in bed. Wondering where she could be, Spike walked downstairs to the main sitting room on his way to the kitchen. Before he could get there though, he spotted something that wasn’t normal. Two fillies sleeping underneath a blanket near the fireplace. And at the table…

“Twilight? Are you still up?”

Twilight was busily scribbling away on a piece of paper. Oddly, she was using a pencil rather than her usual quill, and even more strange, using her mouth rather than magic. What she was using her magic for was to hold up five different books and an abacus that floated around her as if in orbit. Every now and then, she glanced up at one of the books that floated by, some of the beads on the abacus would move, and then she would write something down. A small stack of books with titles like ‘Mathematical Theorems’ and ‘Calculus for Advanced Studies,’ sat on the table in front of her.

Spike walked up behind her and looked over her shoulder. “Uh… Twilight?”

Abruptly, Twilight dropped the pencil, the books and abacus around her fell to the ground, and she threw up her hooves. “Yes! Done!” Raising his eyebrows at Twilight’s strange behavior, Spike examined the paper she had been writing on. It was filled with various equations, calculations, and even some numbers so strange, Spike hadn’t known they even existed.

“I did it, Spike,” Twilight said excitedly after she noticed him. “I finished every last problem of the homework.”

Homework? Is that what she had been doing all night? And why math homework? Twilight specialized in magic and science related topics. That’s when Spike noticed something. “Hey Twilight, I’m no math expert or anything, but didn’t you forget to carry the 2 here?”

“Huh?” Still smiling and holding her hooves up, Twilight looked over the equation Spike had pointed at. A few moments later, she face planted onto the table.

“Twilight! Are you okay?”

Twilight slowly turned her head to face Spike. Her eyes were bloodshot red. “Coffee. Need… coffee.”

“I think sleep might work better-”

“Just get the coffee!” she shouted in agitation, loud enough to startle the sleeping fillies awake.

“No! Not Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo shouted, spinning around, not remembering immediately where she was.

“Are you okay Scootaloo?” Sweetie asked her.

Scootaloo slowly wiped sweat from her forehead. “I was having this horrible nightmare where Ms. Plum told me that she was Rainbow Dash’s sister. It was awful.”

Spike slipped into the kitchen to make coffee as Twilight furiously erased an answer with her pencil and scribbled in the right one after carrying the 2. She honestly didn’t look much better than Cheerilee had the day before.

“Oh, that’s right,” Twilight said painfully. “I forgot about Cheerilee. Stupid homework!”

“Whoa. You actually finished it?” Sweetie Belle stared at the scribbled on paper in great appreciation and respect. “You’re the smartest pony ever, Twilight. Can you show us how to do it now?”

Twilight felt a small blow to her heart as she imagined going through all thirty problems again. True, she understood them now, but she didn’t have the energy to go over them anywhere in the next twelve hours.

“Why don’t you two come by after school. I need to… see about a few things first.”

Though the two fillies seemed a little let down, they were glad to finally get the horrors of the homework out of the way. With Twilight around, maybe they wouldn’t fail Plum’s class.

Twilight took a deep breath and wandered into the kitchen when she smelled the inviting aroma of coffee. As soon as Spike poured her a cup, she downed it in one gulp.

“I can’t believe anypony would assign problems like that to kids,” she said as soon as she swallowed the coffee. “It took me all night to figure those out. Me! A student of Princess Celestia.” She turned to Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle when they came in hoping for pancakes. “Who is this new teacher of yours? I have a few choice words to discuss with her.”

The two fillies looked at each other a moment before unloading everything they had experienced with the horrible new teacher the day before. As the story went on, Twilight stared in growing shock. She didn’t even notice that Spike had become so engrossed in the tantalizing story that he had forgotten to stop pouring her more coffee. It spilled over the rim and onto the floor in a growing puddle of black water. Even after the two poor foals had finished, Twilight’s mind still hadn’t registered the spilt coffee.

“I don’t believe it. That’s not teaching. That’s… that’s just wrong. Cheerilee was replaced for that? What is the school thinking? Don’t they screen their teachers first?”

“The Principal said she came highly recommended,” Sweetie said sadly.

“By who? Tirek?” Scootaloo put in angrily.

A knock on the door interrupted them and Twilight went to answer it while Spike quietly mopped up the coffee stained floor. Rarity was at the door with a very apologetic expression on her face.

“Sorry to disturb you so early after coming by so late before, but I thought I would pick up my sister and Scootaloo and fix up some breakfast for them. I shan’t force you to feed them after… well after what I asked you to do last night.”

Yeah. Thanks for that, Twilight thought, though she was too good of a friend to say it out loud. Besides, she decided it would be better to focus on the new teacher who had assigned that ridiculousness.

“Actually, why don’t you come in and have breakfast here. I wanted to talk to you about this new teacher and her insane homework.” Some of those questions hadn’t even had identifiable answers. Whoever heard of putting trick questions on a child’s homework?

Rarity nodded. “After thinking it over last night, I concur. I want to get to the bottom of this absurd homework assignment. I was going to walk them to school and talk to the new teacher.”

“If that’s your plan then I think I’ll tag along too. Whatever reason they had for hiring this Ms. Plum has something fishy behind it. Besides, this might be the solution I promised Cheerilee yesterday.”

“Cheerilee? Have you talked to her since she was fired?”

Twilight paled. “You don’t want to know.”


Apple Bloom stood in front of the schoolhouse, staring up at the door. She had gotten this far, but found her hooves unwilling to go any further. She had hoped that Applejack had found Plum and talked some sense into her or straightened her out or threatened her or something the night before. Instead, she had spied Plum walking into the school ahead of her. She actually looked a little ruffled perhaps, but otherwise seemed to have an extra spring in her step. Apple Bloom hadn’t had a chance to talk to Applejack and in fact, hadn’t even seen her that morning. It seemed all her hopes for getting out of the homework had been dashed and she was going to be forced to turn it in, unfinished. Her life was over.

“Apple Bloom!” a voice behind her called. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle ran up to her excitedly. “Morning, Apple Bloom. Ready for school?”

“Hey girls,” she replied halfheartedly. “What are you so happy about? Did you forget about Plum?”

“I’m not worried about her,” Scootaloo said with a smug expression. “We finished the homework.”

“No way!”

“Way!” the two fillies answered happily.

“How did you do on it?” Sweetie Belle asked her.

Apple Bloom drooped.

“Oh. Don’t feel bad though. It was impossibly hard.”

“I know. How’d you guys figure it out?”

Scoot and Sweetie looked at each other and pointed behind them. “Twilight did it for us.”

Twilight? Why hadn’t Apple Bloom thought of that? What was more, why were Twilight and Rarity walking behind them?

“What’s goin’ on?” Apple Bloom asked wearily as the two mares caught up to them. “What’s everypony doin’ here? Is this an intervention? I swear I’ll stop eatin’ them funny loookin’ flowers that make my head feel all dizzy.”

Twilight and Rarity both looked at her funny. “Yes… you probably shouldn’t do that… whatever it is…,” Rarity said slowly. “But anyway, we came to talk to your teacher. Is she here yet?”

Apple Bloom blushed. “Um… yeah. I just saw her walk in a little while ago.”

“Well, introduce us to her. We want to talk to her about his homework assignment of yours.”

Feeling a bit encouraged, Apple Bloom made her hooves walk into the building. The Cutie Mark Crusaders led the way to Ms. Plum’s classroom where they found the teacher writing something about Equestrian history on the chalkboard. The other students who had already assembled, which was everypony except Snips and Snails, were watching her nervously, almost as if mesmerized by the chalk.

“Ms. Plum?” Rarity asked.

Plum spit the chalk out of her mouth and turned with a rather arrogant air. “Yes? Can I help you?”

“We want to talk to you about the homework assignment you gave your students,” Twilight told her.

“What of it? It wasn’t anything too difficult,”

“Nothing too difficult? I was up all night trying to figure out that insanity you assigned. What was up with that?”

“Insanity?” Plum looked at the two mares as if just registering their presence. “I’m sorry, who are you two?”

“Rarity, Sweetie Belle’s older sister.”

“And I’m Twilight Sparkle.”

Abruptly, Plum went wide-eyed. “T-twilight?”

“Do you know me from somewhere?” Twilight asked her.

“Not really… Uh, students, why don’t you all prepare for class while I talk to these concerned ponies. I’ll be back to start class in a little while.” Plum smiled, actually smiled, at the Cutie Mark Crusaders before nodding to Twilight and Rarity. “Why don’t we step into the teachers lounge? We can discuss this over a nice cup of coffee.”

“I’ve had plenty of coffee today, thank you,” Twilight answered quickly. “I just want to talk about the homework assignment.”

“Yes, of course. Follow me right this way.” Plum actually sounded a little nervous. Then the two mares nodded and proceeded to follow her.

“See. My sister and Twilight will take care of her. You don’t have to worry about a thing,” Sweetie said confidently to Apple Bloom. The small yellow filly smiled. She had been saved.


Snips and Snails had finally shown up, or rather they had raced into class just as the bell rang. However, that had been ten minutes ago. Everyone was talking quietly, wondering what the two mares were saying to Ms. Plum. To think she hadn’t come back to start class yet. The two unicorns must have been chewing her out like nopony’s business…

The only one who wasn’t talking was Sweetie Belle, who had busied herself with a drawing she had started a few minutes before. Even though it was only in pencil, it didn’t look half bad. Maybe she and her friends could try for drawing cutie marks later.

As it happened, Sweetie Belle was sitting in the front row to the left of Silver Spoon, who had been forced to sit front and center the day before. Sweetie’s row was closest to the windows in the room and she just so happened to look out the window just then. Then she did a double take. Plum was walking away from the school followed closely by Twilight and Rarity. Where were they going? It didn’t appear that her sister or Twilight were chasing Plum. That sure was odd. Shrugging, Sweetie returned to her drawing.

About five minutes later, the students all hushed when the Principal walked into the room.

“All right, quite down, quite down everypony,” he said, despite the fact that they already had. “I have an announcement to make. It seems Ms. Plum, has gone home sick. Bless her heart that she had the courage to show up in such a state. It just shows how hard a worker she is and you should all learn from her example.”

Learning from her example was one thing none of them wanted, but that was hardly important. A muffled cheer rose in the room. It was the best news since a few weeks before when the lunchroom had started serving chocolate milk.

“I know you’re all disappointed and worried about her, but she is going to be just fine.” At least two spitballs, three erasers, and a paper airplane flew past the Principal’s head, but he didn’t seem to notice them. “You’ll have study period for the next twenty minutes and then I will return and be your teacher for the rest of the day.” Then he left.

Though the students were all disappointed that class hadn’t just been canceled for the day, not having Plum around was a wonderful alternative.

However, Sweetie Belle wasn’t so sure. She had finally connected the dots. Plum sure didn’t seem ill, though it might have explained why Rarity and Twilight had decided to walk with her. But it was still strange. If she wasn’t sick, then why had the two unicorns followed her away earlier? For that matter, where had they gone?

Missing Ponies

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“When Equestria was founded, all the races unified under one banner. After overcoming the blizzards, they became peaceful and collected as ponies are today. Eventually this led to the deciding of a principality that would govern all three of the pony races in a unified manner…”

Apple Bloom was tempted to slam her head repeatedly on the desk until she passed out, but decided against it. The Principal was certainly nicer than Plum but…

Snips and Snails slept in the back. Sweetie Belle was slowly nodding off. Silver Spoon was pretending to focus on her upright textbook in front of her while she secretly read some sort of fashion magazine. Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara were having a war, passing notes back and forth with increasingly nasty insults that had apparently escalated into entire paragraphs of text. At least they were improving their writing skills. Even Twist and Noi seemed to be having trouble keeping interest as the Principal went on… and on… and on… He barely even looked at them, focused entirely on what he was reading from and hardly took a breath, a change of pace, or even a question raised by Twist. How could five minutes seem like thirty?

Eventually though, the last bell finally rang and the only thing Apple Bloom was thankful for was that the Principal had never asked them to turn in the homework. In fact, even after Twist had asked about it, he had told them they had an extra day. It was really mixed news, since Apple Bloom still didn’t know how to finish it. She could get all the answers from Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, but she wanted to know exactly how to do it, just so she could maybe survive the rest of the school year.

Scootaloo and Sweetie were going to Twilight’s so the lavender unicorn could teach them how to do the homework, so Apple Bloom tagged along. Her hopes were dashed however when they found the library’s only occupant was Spike, who claimed Twilight hadn’t come home yet. It didn’t seem to bother Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle much, since they had all the answers, but Apple Bloom’s nightmare of being looked at as the dumb kid in class still haunted her.

That avenue exhausted, Scootaloo excused herself since she had an appointment to keep. Continuing her war with Diamond Tiara in the only way they two fillies could fight without physical combat or otherwise getting in trouble. Ultimate checkers. Loser had to carry the other’s books for one month.

Sweetie Belle had promised her sister to help around the house with a few things so she separated too, leaving Apple Bloom to fend for herself for the rest of the afternoon until the three fillies had promised to meet up again later. The poor earth pony moped around town for a while, her homework burning hot in her saddlebag. Apple Bloom knew she couldn’t handle the homework and there was only one other pony she knew who could possibly help her. Walking up to a house she had rarely visited in the past, Apple Bloom knocked on the door, hoping somepony would be home.

Apple Bloom perked her ears when she heard loud hoofsteps galloping for the door and flinched when the door flew open seconds later. Cheerilee stuck her head out, smiling from ear to ear in the creepiest grin Apple Bloom had seen since Twilight tried to give her her old, beat-up Smarty Pants doll.

Cheerilee looked back and forth frantically until she finally laid her eyes on Apple Bloom. Her smile instantly crumbled. “Oh. I thought you were Twilight Sparkle.”

Apple Bloom opened her mouth to speak but before she could say a word, Cheerilee shut the door in her face. Apple Bloom stared at the door. What had just happened? Was Cheerilee angry about something? It took a few moments before Apple Bloom finally got up the courage to knock again. The door flew open after the first knock and Cheerilee stuck her head out the same as she had before.

She grimaced at Apple Bloom a second time. “You’re still not Twilight.”

“Yeah…,” Apple Bloom started, wondering what Twilight had to do with any of this. “Um… can I come in?”

“Oh… um… I guess.” Cheerilee’s voice sounded strangely empty compared to the way she always sounded at school. She didn’t look well either, her mane slightly disheveled as if she hadn’t bothered to brush it and her eyes sagging as if she hadn’t slept in days. She wore a plain white bathrobe hanging loosely over her back, the fabric belt dragging across the ground not even tied. Maybe Cheerilee wasn’t the right pony to ask for help.

Cheerilee’s house was kind of dark. Even the outside had a sort of dark cloud hanging over it. As Apple Bloom stepped inside, she was surprised to see another familiar face sitting in the living room.

“Twist? What are you doin’ here?”

Apple Bloom’s classmate waved and motioned for her to sit with her at the coffee table. A small dish of sweets sat on the table, uneaten so far. “I brought sweets to Cheerilee. I was kind of hoping to get a little extra lesson from her too.”

“Oh Twist, you’re so thoughtful bringing me sweets and asking for extra lessons. Just like you used to do,” Cheerilee said rather melancholy.

Twist looked at her with concern. “It’s only been two days.”

“Wait a minute, are you sayin’ you’ve been bribin’ the teacher and gettin’ extra help in school all this time?” Apple Bloom said in shock.

“She’s never bribed me, Apple Bloom. And it’s not really extra help. Twist is such a smart and curious student, so I’ve been giving her lessons in other subjects that we haven’t covered in class yet. Oops. There I go again, talking about the good old days when I was a simple schoolteacher. I sure miss those times.”

“What’s wrong with Cheerilee?” Apple Bloom whispered to Twist.

“I don’t think she’s taking her termination very well.”

“Have I ever shown you two my lovebirds?” Cheerilee walked over to a cage with two adorable green birds that looked sort of like miniature parrots. “They’re such precious little things. Always so happy. I was thinking about getting a few more from Fluttershy in order to spread the happiness.” Cheerilee nervously rubbed her chin. “Oh well, I guess it won’t be much longer before I become a crazy bird lady and my cutie mark changes to caged feathers.”

“Okay, she’s definitely not taking her termination well.”

“Yeah…,” Apple Bloom agreed slowly, wondering if she should just leave.

“We have to do something Apple Bloom. I’ve never seen Ms. Cheerilee so lackadaisical before.”

“So lackey-what? Twist, I don’t think Cheerilee is Lackenese.”

“I mean she’s really depressed.”

“Oh… Why didn’t you say that in the first place?” Apple Bloom had seen Cheerilee cheerful and even a little cross, but this was something entirely new. “I did have something I wanted to ask but maybe this isn’t the best time.”

At the sound of the word, ‘ask,’ Cheerilee’s ears shot up and she stared at her former pupil. “I’m sorry Apple Bloom, I didn’t mean to sound as if I wasn’t… I mean…” The corner of Cheerilee’s lip trembled slightly. “You wouldn’t possibly… have a question for me would you?”

Apple Bloom gulped. “Well… I sorta maybe… was kinda hopin’ you could help me with my homework?”

Cheerilee’s eyes widened. “You mean… you want me to… teach you?”

“Yeah.”

Sunshine rained down on the room, lifting the dark atmosphere to reveal a well-kept and tidy room. Cheerilee’s smile grew to such enormous proportions, an Ursa Major would have seemed small. Her hair magically moved back in place and her eyes sparkled the same way they always had back in the classroom, a single happy tear shinning on her face. Somewhere far away, the hallelujah chorus magically played.

“Absolutely, Apple Bloom. I would be delighted… no… I would be honored to help you with your homework.”

Apple Bloom let out a sigh of relief. “I’m glad cause this homework is as hard as the dickens.”

“I’m not entirely certain you used that euphemism correctly, but I’m sure we can learn the answer.” Cheerilee happily ditched her bathrobe and strode over to the table. “Come my little ponies, let’s finish that homework.”

Apple Bloom reached into her saddlebag and pulled out the dreaded sheet of homework. She passed it to Cheerilee who happily looked it over.

Over the course of several moments, Cheerilee’s smile slowly diminished as she all but stared at the paper.

“This is what you’re being taught right now?” Apple Bloom nodded. “Your teacher… must be a genius,” she said slowly as a thundercloud blocked out the sun outside. She gave the paper back to Apple Bloom and shook her head. “I think it would take a while for me to figure out a lot of these. To think that your teacher is so amazing that she has actually taught you college level math already. I’m afraid I may be far too… inferior to her brilliance to bring myself to try and use my outdated techniques to help you.”

Apple Bloom gaped. How could anypony call Ms. Plum amazing? “She’s not brilliant! She’s horrible! She’s the worst teacher ever!”

“Apple Bloom I know you’ve always had a difficult time with math, but that is not necessarily the fault of the teacher and certainly not grounds to say such awful things about one.”

“I can with Ms. Plum. She’s mean. She doesn’t even know Twist’s name. She calls her Mud. Right, Twist?”

At the sound of her new unofficial name, Twist had somehow found her way to a startlingly dark corner of the room, apparently reliving the nightmare of Ms. Plum’s classroom in her head as she slowly rocked back and forth. “I’m not Mud… I’m not Mud…,” she uttered quietly.

“I doubt she would do anything as terrible as that. She would be fired in an instant,” Cheerilee reasoned.

“I don’t think the Principal knows. And if he does, he doesn’t care. Even my sister talked to Plum, and she’s still teaching.”

“Well if Applejack thinks she is all right then there must be nothing wrong. I can hardly imagine Applejack not getting along with anypony.”

“Yeah but…,” Apple Bloom whimpered in frustration. “I still need help with my homework. Please, Ms. Cheerilee? It would mean a lot to me.”

Cheerilee sat down and looked at nothing. “I don’t know, Apple Bloom. I don’t think I’m qualified to be your teacher anymore.”

“Cheerilee!” Apple Bloom pleaded. “Come on, Twist. She can help both of us with the homework. Help me convince her.”

“I don’t really need help with it. It wasn’t that hard,” Twist said slowly, finally recovering from her dark memories.

Apple Bloom’s jaw nearly hit the floor. “Twist, you gotta be crazy. That homework had my whole family up last night and we couldn’t finish more than seven of em.”

“Really? I finished that after dinner.”

“Are you serious? If you’re that smart, then what are you even doin’ in school? You should be off creatin’ spaceships or somethin’. You really finished it?”

“Yeah. It was no big deal.”

“Excuse me you two, but what is this argument about?” Cheerilee asked, growing a bit concerned.

“Now I know you’re lyin’. There’s no way.” Apple Bloom thrust the paper in Twist’s face. “If you’re really so smart then what’s the answer to number one?”

Twist looked at the paper for a moment. “What’s this?”

“See! See! I caught your lie!”

“But… this isn’t yesterday’s homework.”

“Huh?” Apple Bloom stared at the paper. “Yeah it is. This is what she gave me.” For the first time ever, Twist gave her a very blank stare. “Isn’t it?”

“I’m sorry Apple Bloom, but I’m not even sure what that is. It’s definitely not the homework I got. She gave me the same stuff we went over in class.”

“Huh? But Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle got this too. They told me so.”

“Silver Spoon makes me help her with homework all the time and she has the same thing I have too. Besides, this is all math. How come you don’t have homework in any other subjects?”

Silence.

That hadn’t even occurred to Apple Bloom. Why was the only subject math?

“Did she give you the wrong homework?” Cheerilee asked. “That should never happen. A teacher needs to be more responsible than that.” For a moment, Cheerilee recalled the last two days, remembering why she had lost all her new jobs and what she had been waiting for for the last twenty-four hours. “I need to be more responsible too. Apple Bloom, how about I help you sort out this homework mistake. Would that be all right?”

The wrong homework. That had to be it. Why would anypony give homework like that to kids? Apple Bloom silently rejoiced inside and loudly rejoiced on the outside as she danced in place, rather reminiscent of the way she had seen Twilight dance sometimes.

“Where does your new teacher live?”

Apple Bloom stopped dancing and looked at Cheerilee. “I have no idea.”

“Well, I suppose we can check at the school. In any case, perhaps she’s still there.”

“She was sick today. She went home just before class started,” Twist pointed out.

“On her second day of class?” Cheerilee scratched her head. “I guess it can happen to the best of us.” The two fillies cringed. The word best didn’t belong in the same sentence as Plum unless it described the best worst teacher ever. No, that still sounded too positive.

“Hmm… I should probably stop by the library and apologize to Twilight too. I acted quite… badly yesterday.”

“I wonder if she’s home yet?” Apple Bloom asked nopony in particular, but Cheerilee didn’t hear her.

“Come on you two. I’m off to the school.”

Apple Bloom and Twist went outside, happy to finally get at least something done about Ms. Plum. Cheerilee paused and took a deep breath before venturing out her door. It was almost strange going back to the school for the first time in two days. The fact that she was still fired loomed over her head, but it was something she was going to have to force herself to accept.

“Hey Cheerilee!” a voice called from above her home. “Are you feeling better yet?”

Cheerilee waved to a grey pegasus sitting on a storm cloud in the sky. “Yes. Thank you Derpy. I don’t need the dark cloud over my house anymore.”

Derpy waved back. “Sure thing.” The grey mare moved the cloud away as Cheerilee took another deep breath before moving along.

“Ms. Cheerilee, how come whenever a pony is sad, the pegasi move a dark cloud over them?” Twist asked.

“It’s a customary rule in Ponyville. It’s sort of a signal to other ponies to let them know that a pony may need cheering up… or that they just need to steer clear for a while…” Cheerilee blushed. There were a few ponies she needed to apologize to today. Hopefully, Twilight hadn’t gone to too much trouble.

“Hey, what’s that?” Twist asked.

“Hmm? That?” Cheerilee looked ahead of them and saw something approaching them. “It looks like a dust cloud.” But why would a dust cloud be headed their way? It didn’t take long to find out. The dust cloud quickly turned into a large red stallion, galloping at quite a pace.

“Big Macintosh?” Apple Bloom exclaimed as her older brother zoomed in on them.

“Apple Bloom, there you are!” Big Macintosh yelled as soon as he reached them.

“Hey big brother, what’s a matter?” Apple Bloom had never seen him with such a frightened look before.

“Have you seen your sister?”

“Not since last night. Why?”

“I ain’t seen her since then either, nor has any other pony I talked too. I can’t find her anywhere.”

“Applejack is missing?” Cheerilee said with a start.

Macintosh nodded.

“Are you sure she didn’t go to one of her friends?”

Macintosh nodded a second time. “I already talked to Pinkie Pie and she’s gettin’ the others to look for her too.”

“Oh my!” Cheerilee exclaimed, putting a hoof to her mouth. “Well, we can’t jump to conclusions just yet. Girls…,” Cheerilee turned to one filly and then the other. “Why don’t we postpone this school trip and help out?”

“Do you really need to ask?” Apple Bloom said hurriedly. Of course she didn’t care about the stupid homework if Applejack was in trouble. Speaking of homework, had Applejack even made it to Plum’s house?


Applejack wasn’t the only pony missing. Macintosh found a pony whom Applejack had talked too to find Plum’s house. But upon reaching the teacher’s not so humble abode, she wasn’t home and apparently hadn’t been since she left for the school that morning. Towards the evening, Spike revealed that he hadn’t seen Twilight all day and had no idea where she may have gone. Then, just before Apple Bloom was about to go to bed, Sweetie Belle made a surprise visit, crying her eyes out, telling her that she couldn’t find Rarity anywhere in Ponyville.

Big Macintosh, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Spike, Cheerilee, and the Mayor, convened at the Apple Family home shortly there after. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle listened through the door of Apple Bloom’s room as the adults talked.

“Nopony has seen Applejack since last night,” Pinkie Pie confirmed.

“Eeyup,” Big Macintosh miserably agreed.

“And Sweetie Belle said that she saw Twilight and Rarity leaving the school with the missing teacher just this morning,” Fluttershy added in.

“Remain calm everypony. They have not been missing twenty-four hours yet. For all we know, they’ve gone somewhere and just haven’t come back yet,” the Mayor said.

“These are our friends we’re talking about, Mayor. How can you say, be calm?” Rainbow said angrily.

“I’m trying to remain positive here. I’ve already organized the local police and they are scouring Ponyville for any leads as we speak.”

“I hope they’re all right,” Fluttershy said quietly.

Apple Bloom stepped away from the door. She felt bad for thinking poorly of the new teacher even if she was kind of evil… very evil… but it sure seemed weird that she would go missing just after Applejack did. What could have happened?

“Do you think my sister and the others are okay?” Sweetie Belle suddenly asked.

“You know our sisters’ are pretty tough. Twilight is too. I’m sure wherever they are is for a good reason or somethin’.” Who was she kidding? Apple Bloom was trying to convince herself more so than Sweetie Belle. No matter how tough Applejack was, she couldn’t help but be worried. Even the adults were on edge and that was never a good sign. Of course, the last time that had happened, everypony was freaked out over Zecora coming to town, which turned out to be for nothing. Apple Bloom just had to hope that this was another nothing too.


The four missing ponies had been gone for almost two full days and everypony in Ponyville and Cloudsdale was on the lookout. Big Macintosh and a small search party had gone to search in the Everfree Forest, which Zecora had already combed, but the large red stallion wouldn’t be satisfied until he looked himself.

In the meantime, Apple Bloom and her other classmates had all been forced to continue going to school instead of joining the search. What was worse was that the Principal was one of the most bungling teachers the students had ever known. He taught the exact same lesson all three times he stood in for Plum, and hardly acknowledge that the students were even there. Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara had come late to school since Scootaloo had apparently lost the ultimate checkers match but refused to make Diamond’s trip to school easy. The Principal hadn’t even noticed. He didn’t even bother to take role. Even worse, he didn’t seem to be in the loop about all the missing ponies. Everything was business, even if it was absolutely boring business. At least he didn’t ask for or assign any homework though.

As such, it was more than a relief when the bell finally rang and the class could escape, even more so for the Cutie Mark Crusaders who couldn’t wait to rejoin the search. Of course, since they were so young, even Pinkie and Fluttershy didn’t want them to get involved, especially since it could entail finding out some bad news. However, even the usually unfazable Pinkie Pie was looking stressed and actually seemed more worried than even Fluttershy who actually seemed more determined for once.

The one pony in their circle who seemed to remain the calmest was Cheerilee. With no job to hold her down, Cheerilee had taken the search more thoroughly than the others had, actually stopping to question ponies who had seen them the most recently. Through her efforts, they had confirmed that Twilight and Rarity had indeed been last seen walking with Plum. She had also discovered a further mystery about a train that had suddenly gone missing from the station the night the search had begun.

“Who cares about some train? What’s that have to do with anything?” Rainbow argued when Cheerilee informed her of the discovery.

“This missing train,” Cheerilee told her and the small gathering that consisted of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Spike, “It could be possible that Twilight and Rarity were on that train when it left.”

“Are you trying to say that they left just so they could steal a train?”

“Not them necessarily, but the theft could be related to why they would board it.”

“But weren’t we looking for them before the train was stolen?” Fluttershy asked.

“Like I said, it’s only a possibility. It could just be a coincidence.”

“So in other words you’re telling me that we aren’t any closer to finding them,” Rainbow said dejectedly.

“There is one other thing regarding the train,” Cheerilee added. “The morning after it was stolen, it was discovered abandoned about a mile away from Canterlot, facing in the direction of the city.”

“So?”

“It’s elementary my dear Rainbow,” Pinkie said very seriously, blowing bubbles out of a toy pipe. “They could be in Canterlot or nearby.”

“Really? But why didn’t they tell us?” Spike wondered.

“I didn’t say they went there willingly,” Pinkie said, blowing one very large bubble from the pipe that exploded over Dash, soaking her in soap.

“In Canterlot huh?” Rainbow said furiously, shaking the suds off her. “Then we should do what we should have done two days ago. Write Princess Celestia.” She pounded her hooves together in emphasis.

“Good idea. The Princess will know what to do,” Pinkie said happily.

“Spike, take a letter,” Rainbow began as Spike pulled out a quill and scroll from somewhere. “Ahem. Dear Princess Celestia… uh… Spike?”

Spike’s cheeks puffed up until he looked like he was going to burst and then… belch! In a wisp of green fire, a scroll landed neatly on the ground.

“Wow. We didn’t even finish writing our letter yet. She’s good,” Pinkie commented.

“What does it say, Spike?” Fluttershy asked timidly.

Spike unraveled the scroll and cleared his throat before reading it. “Dear Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy, come to the castle immediately. Signed, Princess Celestia.”

“I’ll bet it’s about Twilight and the others. Maybe she knows where they are. Maybe they’ve been in Canterlot this whole time. Maybe they’ve become hostages to a horrible alien race that wants to dominate ponykind to use us for slave labor!” Pinkie exclaimed.

Rainbow guffawed the idea. “Oh please. Who would do that to ponies?”

“That’s the part you don’t find believable?” Cheerilee asked.

“Come on girls, we should go to Canterlot like the Princess requested. I think the next train leaves soon,” Fluttershy pointed out.

“I’ll come too. I want to help in any way I can,” Cheerilee told them.

“We wanna go too,” Scootaloo chimed in as Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle reared up in agreement.

“Don’t forget me!” Spike exclaimed.

“All right, everypony can come. Let’s go!” Rainbow pointed dramatically towards the train station before they all galloped for it.


Fortunately, the train happened to be an express and they arrived in Canterlot within an hour. The ponies wasted no time sprinting for the castle, with Rainbow ushering them along from the air. Even as busy as Canterlot was, the ponies made their way through the city quickly and with relatively little incident. Fluttershy only had to apologize for a shoved aside pony or trampled on hairpiece eight times.

Rainbow was in such a hurry to get to the castle, she almost slammed into the guards and the double doors that sat in the entrance to the castle. Fortunately, the guards were unicorns and they caught her before she did herself any real damage against said doors. They forcefully threw her back into the approaching ponies, knocking them all into a big pile.

“Halt! Who goes there?” the two guards demanded.

“That’s quite the cliché,” Cheerilee remarked from underneath Pinkie’s rear.

“Who do you think it is? We’re here to see the Princess,” Rainbow said angrily as she freed herself from the pile.

“No casual visitors today. We received strict orders that only the bearers of the Elements of Harmony are to be let in.”

“Oh! Oh! That’s us! We’re right here!” Pinkie exclaimed, waving her hoof in the air and wrapping her other one around both Fluttershy and Dash. “Laughter, Loyalty, and Kindness at your service.”

“Then please come in.” The two guards stepped aside and allowed the three of them entrance before stepping back in front of the double doors.

“What about us?” Cheerilee asked them.

“We already told you that we received strict orders not to let anyone but those three inside.”

“Even me? I used to live here,” Spike whined.

“Nope,” the guard answered bluntly.

“Don’t worry, we’ll talk to Princess Celestia and let you know what we find out,” Fluttershy assured them.

As the three ponies walked further inside, Cheerilee sat down and rubbed her leg. “Are you sure you can’t make an exception? We’re here concerning the missing ponies as well.”

“Sorry ma’am, but we don’t know anything about any missing ponies.”

“What? Then what did Princess Celestia want that was so urgent?” Spike argued.

“That’s on a need to know basis, little guy. It’s not for the general public to know.”

“But… but Twilight-”

“Sorry, but that’s just the way it is. Orders are orders.”

“It’s okay, Spike. Our friends will find out what’s going on,” Cheerilee sighed. “Well everyone, as long as we’re here, why don’t I treat you to some doughnuts? Twilight has told me that Canterlot has the best…,” Cheerilee glanced around but realized that the three Cutie Mark Crusaders were nowhere to be found. “Girls? Girls?!”

“They were just here a minute ago,” Spike said looking around.

“Girls!” Cheerilee called but she received no answer. Where in the world had those three fillies gone?


“Some guards those guys turned out to be,” Apple Bloom said.

“It’s just because we’re so sneaky,” Scootaloo confirmed. “Cutie Mark Crusaders, stealth ninjas.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t just because the guards were talking to Cheerilee and Spike?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Naaa,” Scootaloo said. And of course, it wasn’t because they were so small either. The three fillies had managed to sneak past the guards while Cheerilee had them distracted. They were sure the Princess wouldn’t mind if they tagged along. After all, two of them were sisters to two of the Element of Harmony bearers. They could become bearers themselves someday.

“What happens if the guards find out we snuck in?” Sweetie Belle asked worriedly.

“Well… we just won’t let that happen,” Scootaloo concluded and walked steadily into the inner sanctum of the castle.

“Where is the Princess, anyway?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I think I saw Rainbow Dash go that way,” Scootaloo confirmed. However, the direction she pointed out had a shadow coming from around the corner.

“Guard! Hide!” Apple Bloom said as she and Scootaloo ran away.

“What?” Sweetie asked, only then realizing that the two of them had disappeared. “Girls, wait up- Oof!” Sweetie Belle tripped over a bucket of water that a servant had left out with the intention of mopping the hallways.

“Huh? What was that noise?” somepony’s voice echoed from down the hall.

“Come on!” Apple Bloom ushered Sweetie over to where she and Scootaloo had hidden behind an expensive looking vase. The little white unicorn dashed over just as a guard came around the corner. As soon as he spotted the bucket of water, he came over to inspect it.

“Shhhhh,” Apple Bloom hushed her friends as they listened for the guard to leave.

“Whose hoofprints are these?” the guard suddenly said aloud.

The Crusaders slowly looked down at Sweetie’s hooves. They were soggy from the spilt water.

“Sweetie Belle!” Scootaloo and Apple Bloom said in hushed tones.

“Oops…,” Sweetie shrugged and smiled apologetically.

The guard intently followed the wet prints towards the vase. The three fillies clinched their teeth as they slowly moved around to the other side of the vase. The guard poked his head behind it just as the three fillies stepped behind him.

“Hmm…,” the guard mumbled as he turned around. The Crusaders moved with him, managing to stay just under his tail. The guard raised his eyebrows, feeling like he was missing something. He slowly turned around again, but nothing but the vase was there. Again he turned, but he was almost certain he heard extra hoofsteps besides his own. Abruptly he whirled around, “I got you now!” But nothing was there.

The Crusaders shivered. They were standing directly underneath the guard. If he moved his foot so much as an inch, he would kick one of them. The guard scratched his head. “I knew I shouldn’t have eaten those funny looking flowers,” the guard mumbled to himself. He turned, just as the three fillies moved out from underneath him and back behind the vase. They all held their breaths as the guard moved along and disappeared down the hall.

“That was too close,” Apple Bloom remarked.

“Come on, I don’t want to lose Rainbow Dash,” Scootaloo said hurriedly.

“And you sure you saw them go-” Apple Bloom jumped when something crashed behind her. However, she glared when she realized it was Sweetie Belle tripping over the same bucket she had earlier.

“Oops…,” Sweetie apologized.

“If this was a real mission, you would have died five times already,” Scootaloo said. Groaning, she went the way she was sure she saw the other ponies headed earlier.

Along the way, the Crusaders had to hide three more times, and Sweetie tripped once more, forcing them to hide in a room that apparently belonged to an old sleeping dog who was almost as big as Big Macintosh. Based on its solid black color that seemed to eat all other color around it, perhaps this was Princess Luna’s pet?

After peeking inside several more rooms (one of which was a barracks for the guards that resulted in the Crusaders hiding in a suit of armor that was on display) they found their way to a double door that seemed far more ornate than the rest of the castle. Could it be the throne room? And if so, why weren’t there any guards?

They inched the door open and peeked inside. Their eyes instantly fell on Twilight Sparkle who was standing idly to the side of the room, not really paying attention to anything in particular. Before they could call out to her, their eyes stopped on something else. The fillies stared. “Ms. Plum?”

Plum was standing in the back of the room, a look of knowing arrogance on her face. Before her, Rainbow, Pinkie, and Fluttershy were standing between both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. It looked as if the Princesses were holding them down with magic as Plum eyed each of them. But why would the Princesses do that? Moreover, what was Plum doing in Canterlot?

Then Plum slowly reached up to her ear with her hoof and something strange happened. Her eyes lit up in a rippling red light and Rainbow and the other two were engulfed in it. The three of them struggled for a moment but eventually stopped and held still. The Princesses dropped their magic and the three ponies between them stood obediently as if waiting for something.

Apple Bloom slowly backed out of the room, hoping nopony saw her. “Girls, I think we should go.”

“But what about Rainbow Dash?” Scootaloo whispered.

“I don’t know. I think we need to tell somepony about this.” The three of them quietly closed the door and walked back into the hallway. “Come on. Let’s get out of-” The three fillies stopped when they literally ran into a unicorn guard.

“Hey!” the guard yelled as soon as he looked down at them.

“Oh oh,” they all said.

The guard glared at them and then suddenly sighed. “Let me guess, you’re from the magic school, right?” he said, pointing at Sweetie Belle.

“Um… yes?” Sweetie answered slowly.

“And you thought it would be a great idea to show your friends around the palace, right?”

“Um… yes?”

The guard shook his head. “You magic school kids are gonna be the death of me. How many times do I have to tell you that you can’t wander around the palace just because you’re gifted? I swear there’s like twenty of you that try this every year.” The three fillies looked at each other, clearly confused by the situation. “And you can’t just invite anypony you feel like into the palace either. If you want to do that there are all kinds of forms and stuff you have to sign, and you need to have guest passes…” He looked at Sweetie Belle sternly. “Look, promise me you won’t do this again and I won’t say anything to Princess Celestia, okay?”

“Um… yes?”

“Good. Now skedaddle. The way back to the magic school dorm is over there. And tell your friends to go home. This isn’t a sightseeing area.”

The Crusaders turned around and marched stiffly to the indicated door as the guard watched them. Once out the door, they realized they were in the courtyard near a large building that must have served as the magic school dorm, just as the guard had said. Near that was an even larger building that must have been the school itself. Even though it might have been cool to check out the famed school, especially for Sweetie Belle, the Crusaders had other things to attend to first. There was a gate further out in the yard that led out onto the road back to Canterlot, guarded by two pegasus knights in their shiny golden armor. It was the only way out, so the three friends would have to hope the guards didn’t want to see some kind of ID.

They all smiled huge grins as they walked past the guards who eyed them closely as they left. However, one of them smiled and nodded back, giving them the courage to run away as fast as they could.

“We made it!” Scootaloo shouted as soon as they were a safe distance away.

“Forget stealth ninjas. Cutie Mark Crusaders, super spies!” Apple Bloom said happily. They all stopped to look at their flanks but… nothing…

“And I was so sure that was our special talent this time,” Scootaloo huffed.

“Never mind that. Let’s go find Cheerilee and Spike. I think we found out something important,” Apple Bloom said quickly as she raced back around to the front gate of the castle.

Deducing the Truth

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Cheerilee and Spike braced themselves against the hurricane of words that hurdled at them. After searching in front of the castle for a number of minutes, the three missing fillies had suddenly appeared in front of them and started babbling about something that neither the magenta earth pony nor the baby dragon could quite understand between the three of them. The three Crusaders were making all kinds of odd gestures including waving their hooves in front of their eyes, struggling against an invisible wall, and something that looked like an impersonation of Twilight when she was freaking out.

“Girls… if you could just… girls wait a minute… girls…,” Cheerilee tried, but they were too engrossed in whatever they were talking about to listen.

Finally, Spike reached into an unseen place and pulled out a gong. As soon as he struck it, the three fillies went silent.

“Um… thanks Spike,” Cheerilee said slowly.

“I knew this birthday present from Princess Luna had a purpose.” Spike smiled.

“Uh huh…” Cheerilee shrugged and returned her gaze to the three little ponies in front of her. “Okay girls, one at a time. What happened?”

Technically they spoke one at a time, though they constantly interrupted each other, only saying about three words each before the next one took over. From the jumbled mess, Cheerilee was able to make out something about Twilight and Plum being in the castle, and that Celestia and Luna had apparently captured Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie. Then there was something about a strange red light that had come out of Plum’s eyes.

“Sounds like you had quite the wild time in there,” Cheerilee said after they had finished. “Are you sure you saw Twilight?”

“Positive,” Apple Bloom said.

“Then it seems she was never missing at all. Strange how she wouldn’t tell anypony though.”

“What about Ms. Plum? She did that weird light thing with her eyes.” Scootaloo opened her eyes as wide as she could as she spoke.

“I thought you said something like that.” Cheerilee wasn’t sure she had heard right the first time. If it really was true, what would have produced such a strange light to give the Crusaders the idea that she was doing something to Pinkie and the others? And Celestia and Luna capturing them? That was preposterous. But why would Plum be in Canterlot anyway?

“What happened after the princesses captured the others?” Cheerilee finally asked.

“We ran away!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.

“Did not!” Scootaloo argued. “We made a calculated escape.”

“Same thing.”

“So you didn’t see anything else?” Cheerilee wondered.

“No. Fluttershy and the others just sort of stood there afterwards. The princesses didn’t even have to hold them down anymore,” Apple Bloom finished.

“Then they weren’t really in danger, right?” Spike said, holding his hands together.

“I don’t know. I kinda thought the red light did somethin’ to em.”

“Well it is true that some studies claim that different colors can affect a pony’s mood,” Cheerilee said, going back into lecture mode. “Red is thought to be an emotionally intense color that stimulates a faster heartbeat and quicker breathing which is why it is also the color of love. In addition, red clothing is more easily noticed by ponies but also makes the wearer appear heavier. Of course, since it is an extreme color, red clothing might not help ponies in negotiations or confrontations. Also, when it comes to decorating, red is usually used as an accent. Decorators say that red furniture should be perfect since it will attract attention. In fact, the eye is drawn to heavier colors, which is why…” Wait a minute. For some reason that reminded Cheerilee of something. The eye is drawn to red… like red light… and red light in say mythology for example…

Cheerilee blinked. “It couldn’t be…”

“What couldn’t be?” Spike asked.

“Everyone, why don’t we go back to Ponyville.”

“What? But what about Fluttershy? What about Twilight? If she’s here, then maybe Applejack is here too,” Apple Bloom wailed.

“I know, but there is something very important I need to check first. It could help us save them.”

“You mean they really are in danger?” Spike cringed.

“I don’t know that for sure yet, but there is one way to find out. Come on, back to the train everyone. If I’m not mistaken, we should arrive back in Ponyville before sundown.”


Just as Cheerilee had thought, they arrive as the sun was about to disappear behind the mountains. Cheerilee had one particular destination in mind. If her suspicions were right, then they were all in more danger than they realized.

As soon as they reached the home she was looking for, Cheerilee knocked. After waiting a few moments, she knocked a second time but the house remained dark. “That’s odd. It’s almost eight. Why wouldn’t Kickerbuck be home?”

“Maybe he’s still at school?” Scootaloo suggested.

“I don’t see why he would be. The doors are always locked promptly at five. Kickerbuck is very particular about that. Why, I was once locked in the school and had to get out through a window.”

“Well, he’s been a real dodo the last few days so maybe he forgot what time it is.”

“Apple Bloom, I don’t want you saying things like that about your Principal… but…,” Cheerilee thought a minute. “Maybe we should check the school just in case.”

“Is something on your mind, Cheerilee?” Spike asked.

“The way the girls described the red light from Plum… I think I may have heard of something like that before.”

Still deep in thought, Cheerilee and her four young companions went the relatively short distance to the schoolhouse. Kickerbuck lived barely ten minutes walk from it. As they approached it, Cheerilee confirmed exactly what she had been expecting.

“The school’s dark. I don’t think anyone is here.” That avenue exhausted, Cheerilee tried to reason where else the Principal might have gone. He couldn’t have become a missing pony too.

Abruptly, a low creaking startled Cheerilee.

“The door’s unlocked,” Sweetie Belle said quietly, backing away from the door she had cracked open.

“That’s definitely not normal.” Cheerilee approached the door and pushed it open the rest of the way. You four stay here. I’ll check this out.”

“Fine by me,” Spike said, staring into the darkness.

Cheerilee walked in cautiously. There was little to see with the lights off. Even if no one was there, Cheerilee wanted to confirm something in the school’s paperwork. The budget and the roofing project she had inadvertently stopped. Those records must have been in the Principal’s office. Fortunately, she knew the school well enough to walk through blindfolded, which she might as well have been save for the moonlight.

Kickerbuck’s office wasn’t difficult to find anyway. It was just straight down the hall. Opening the door, which also should have been locked, Cheerilee glanced around the office once before flipping on the light switch. She nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Principal Kickerbuck?” The Principal turned around in his swivel chair from where he had been quietly sitting at his desk. “What are doing sitting here in the dark?” Better yet, why was he sitting in the dark while still wearing his signature sunglasses?

“Cheerilee… you don’t work here anymore. I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

“I’m sorry Kickerbuck, I didn’t want to intrude… well, maybe that’s not entirely true, but there was something I really needed to…,” Cheerilee took a good look at Kickerbuck. “You look so thin. Have you been eating well, Principal?”

“Cheerilee, you don’t work here anymore. I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

“Yes, of course, but there is one thing I would like to ask you first.”

“Cheerilee, you don’t work here anymore. I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

“Uh… Kickerbuck? Are you okay?”

“Cheerilee, you don’t work here anymore. I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

The ex-teacher froze. Something wasn’t quite right. She had found the Principal, so it was time to see if her suspicions were true. “I know this may sound rather strange, but would you mind taking off your sunglasses for a minute?”

“Cheerilee, you don’t work here anymore. I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

“Yes, you’ve said that…,” Cheerilee slowly approached the desk. “I insist, take off your sunglasses.”

“Cheerilee, you don’t-”

“Cheerilee?” The magenta earth pony turned as a trio of heads popped into the room.

“I told you to wait outside,” she answered sternly.

“Students, it is after hours. I’ll have to ask you to leave,” Kickerbuck stated flatly.

“Principal, please. Now girls, go outside and wait for me.”

“But Cheerilee…,” Sweetie Belle started.

“Students, it is after hours-”

“Kickerbuck!” Cheerilee turned and shouted at him. “Shut up and take off your sunglasses!”

Cheerilee swiped at his sunglasses but was surprised when the Principal suddenly reacted. He slapped her hoof away and then slapped her across the face as hard as he could. Cheerilee was knocked on the floor, momentarily stunned by what had just happened… but then she found something else to be shocked about. Along with the force of the blow, Kickerbuck’s sunglasses had fallen partially off his face, only hanging by one of his ears. Not just Cheerilee, but the Crusaders stared at his eyes. There was a strange red light in his eyes that moved like the ripples of a pond when a stone is thrown exactly in the center.

Kickerbuck quickly replaced his sunglasses on his face and sat back down in his chair. “Cheerilee, you don’t work here anymore. I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

“Yes, sir,” Cheerilee said quietly before picking herself up and backing out of the room. The Principal calmly turned back to his desk and simply sat there, doing nothing but staring straight ahead.


“What was that?” Scootaloo asked as soon as they were outside.

“You should a seen it, Spike, his eyes were all crazy,” Apple Bloom said.

“What’s wrong with him?” Sweetie Belle asked

“Something I was hoping not to find,” Cheerilee said slowly.

“You know what it is?” the three fillies said together.

“And what did I miss exactly?” Spike wondered. The baby dragon didn’t get an answer though. Instead, Cheerilee paced back and forth a moment trying to piece everything together.

“Girls,” she finally said, “About your new teacher, was she wearing anything?”

“Um… glasses,” Apple Bloom shrugged.

“A braid,” Scootaloo put in.

“That ain’t somethin’ you wear.”

“Yeah huh,” Scootaloo retorted.

“Is not,”

“Girls!” Cheerilee spoke up. “Focus, please. This is important. Was there anything else? An accessory perhaps?”

“Oh! She wears earrings!” Sweetie Belle put in.

“Earrings…,” Cheerilee repeated slowly. “Red earrings?”

“Yeah, I think they are. But how did you know?”

Cheerilee didn’t answer. Her mind raced through the facts she had accumulated over the last three days. The school’s budget crisis. Her sudden termination as well as that of two other teachers. Ms. Plum’s arrival at school. Cheerilee’s discovery of the school’s scheduled re-roofing despite the budget crisis. The Cutie Mark Crusaders singled out for extra hard homework. Applejack, Twilight, Rarity, and Plum’s sudden disappearance. The stolen train that had turned up a short distance from Canterlot. Princess Celestia’s sudden letter to Twilight’s friends. Both princesses’ strange behavior as described by the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Plum and Twilight’s reappearance in Canterlot. The rippling light in Kickerbuck’s eyes. Plum’s red earrings. Strangely enough, it was those earrings that made it all fit together. In fact, there was another factor that may have been connected. The robbery of the natural history museum the week before.

“It’s quite overly complicated, but I think I finally understand what’s really going on,” Cheerilee announced. “Spike, take a letter.”

“Wait, what?” Spike said in confusion. “A letter? To who?”

“We have much to prepare. Come on you four,” Cheerilee said, starting to move. “Write while we walk.”

“What’s going on? What am I writing?” Spike asked.

“I’ll tell you on the way.”

“Where are we goin’?” Apple Bloom asked.

“To Rarity’s house. I hope she won’t mind, but I’m going to need to borrow a few things before tomorrow.”

“Why? What happens tomorrow?” Scootaloo asked.

“Saturday.”


Canterlot castle was relatively quiet. Celestia sat quite focused and patient, awaiting the guest that was supposed to arrive soon. Her sister, Princess Luna stood next to her to Celestia’s right. Even though it was late morning and night was long put away, Luna hadn’t gone to bed yet. Just below the throne area, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash stood to one side of the red carpet. Opposite them, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy stood waiting as well. Having all of them present wasn’t really necessary but it didn’t hurt to be prepared. Plum stood next to Celestia’s throne, opposite Luna, impatiently tapping her hoof. Where was the guest?

Finally, a little before noon, a trumpet blared and a guard opened the door.

“Presenting the Prime Minister of Ponyland,” he said before stepping to the side.

A female earth pony walked in, dressed in a fine outfit of silk and durable travel cloth as well as glasses with faint blue lenses. She had come a long way to discuss the latest future plans between the two peaceful countries of Equestria and Ponyland. They had remained allies since the original founders of Equestria had first left Ponyland in search of refuge from the then wintry outbreak of the Wendigos. Fortunately that enemy was long gone, never to return as long as ponies remained in harmony.

Plum silently watched the Prime Minister approach the throne. It wouldn’t be long now. With the bearers of the Elements of Harmony acting as guards, there was no need for the real palace guards to be present. Everything was working out perfectly, just as Plum had planned. Only a few steps closer and…

Plum waited, but Celestia and Luna didn’t do anything. They didn’t even greet their guest. The Prime Minister stood in front of the throne between Twilight and the others. Plum gulped. Why wasn’t Princess Celestia doing anything?

The tan earth pony began to sweat as she cleared her throat. “Welcome to Equestria,” she said as she averted her eyes to Celestia. “Our princesses are happy to see you, Prime Minister.” The Prime Minister bowed, and still, the princesses did nothing. “Ahem, Princess Celestia, do you have anything to say to the Prime Minister?”

Celestia turned to look at Plum. “That is not the Prime Minister of Ponyland.”

“Huh?” Plum stared at the pony just a short distance below her. This was the appointed time. It had to be the Prime Minister.

“Princess Celestia is right,” the pony said. “My name is Cheerilee and I came here to see you, Plum.” She pointed right at her.

“What? Me? What do you mean? What happened to…?” Sudden recognition dawned on Plum’s face. “Cheerilee? Aren’t you… one of those teachers…?”

“Yes. I’m one of the teachers that you fired.” Cheerilee’s conviction was absolute, but Plum wasn’t having any of it.

The wicked teacher harrumphed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. What makes you think I had anything to do with that?”

“That’s exactly what I came here to find out.” Cheerilee stood her ground despite the fact that she was standing in between all six of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Plum raised her eyebrow at the strange notion. “I am rather ashamed to admit that the last few days have not been my best and I intend to find out exactly why my life has become such a snake pit.”

“Pardon?”

“I suppose I must not be making much sense, but bear with me, because I’m going to tell you exactly what I think has been going on around Ponyville. All I ask is a little confirmation if I happen to be right.”

“What? Are you kidding me? You came all the way out here just for that? I don’t know what you were hoping to accomplish, but it’s over. I’ve already won.” Plum reached her hoof up to her ear and touched her red earring. Almost immediately, a strange rippling light radiated from her eyes straight into Cheerilee’s. It was the same as the light in Kickerbuck’s eyes. For a few moments, Plum snickered to herself as she focused on the magenta earth pony. However, her joy was slowly shattered when Cheerilee smiled back at her.

“Sorry Plum, but I already figured out what those earrings you wear are. They’re the source of your power, an item in mythology called the Earrings of Somnambula. They allow the wearer to take control of any number of ponies.” Cheerilee pointed at her own face. “Why do you think I’m wearing these glasses with rare baby blue sapphire lenses crafted into them?”

“B-baby blue what?” Plum stuttered.

“Baby blue sapphires, the only thing that cancels your earrings’ power, courtesy of Rarity’s workshop, the only place in Ponyville I could find such a rare gem.”

The light stopped as soon as Plum let go of her earring. She glared at Cheerilee for a moment. “So you have protection against my earrings. Big whooping deal. What are you hoping to accomplish with that? You do realize the situation you’re in, don’t you?”

“Yes, but if it awards me with answers then its well worth it.”

“I really don’t understand you at all. What’s the point?”

We’re about to find out,” Cheerilee said with a hint of a smile. “For starters I want to discuss the school’s budget crisis. I don’t think our school was ever in danger of such a thing in the first place. That’s why you had to create one,” Cheerilee pointed at Plum again. Plum merely frowned. “There was a robbery at the natural history museum last week. I never actually heard the details of that robbery but I’m willing to bet that was you that broke in, and the item that was stolen was those earrings. Apparently, you know the history of those earrings and how they work and you used them to take control of Principal Kickerbuck. Afterwards, you made him order for the school’s roof to be completely re-shingled.”

“What? How do you know that?”

“By coincidence, I happened to take a job as a roofer and found out about the school’s project that way. In fact if I hadn’t been so bad at that job, the re-roofing project would have already taken place.”

“Okay, and if I really did do that, what’s the point? Why would I possibly need to make the school lose money?”

“To fire me and the other two teachers so you could be hired without seeming suspicious. In fact, you specifically needed the three of us gone so the classrooms could be rearranged.”

Plum raised her eyebrow again. “Oh really?”

“You see, each of the three of us has certain students that we teach. Three of those students happen to be Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle.” Plum looked genuinely surprised. She opened her mouth to say something, but Cheerilee cut her off. “Though you didn’t know them by face, you needed those specific three students in your classroom and they happen to be dispersed between myself and the other two teachers. And the reason you needed them? They have a connection to three of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Specifically, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity.” She pointed to each of the three ponies in turn as she spoke. “Of course, since you know so much about the Earrings of Somnambula, you must be aware that their hypnotic effect doesn’t work on children or dragons. Therefore, you devised a way to get Applejack and the others’ attention. You gave those three fillies extremely hard homework that no pony their age or any ponies without a degree in mathematics would be able to solve in their entirety.”

Plum laughed. “That seems like an awful lot of trouble, especially when I have the power to control ponies already.”

“It’s not foolproof though. Those earrings take a few moments to work. What’s more, they don’t work so well on unicorns because they can fight back with their own magic. Truthfully, you were lucky because Applejack happened to come looking for you first, and on the first night no less.”

Plum had plastered a smirk on her face as if she thought all of this was amusing now. “Why is that significant?”

“However you did it, I’ll bet you took control of Applejack that night. With that under your belt, you had a game piece to use when you had an unexpected visit the next day. You were hoping for Rainbow Dash and Rarity, but instead of Rainbow, Twilight Sparkle showed up. Or rather, I should say, the most difficult and the reason you needed the other three in the first place, showed up. You were planning to use the other three to catch Twilight, but when she arrived early along with Rarity, you knew you couldn’t take on two unicorns at once, let alone just Twilight. So you took a risk and revealed that you had Applejack under your control so that they would follow you home. Of course, that was after ordering the Principal to take over for you. This explains why he gave the same lesson three times, and why he never left the school, even to eat.” Cheerilee gave an extra long glare at Plum. Kickerbuck probably hadn’t eaten since becoming hypnotized. “Your plan worked, didn’t it? You used Applejack to take control of Twilight and Rarity.”

“Perhaps. What of it?”

“With that done, you had the one pony you really needed in the first place… Twilight Sparkle. With her under your control, you had a free pass into Canterlot and a free shot at your real goal… Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.”

Plum gave a brief side look to the princesses who hadn’t moved or reacted since Cheerilee started talking.

“You stole a train and took Twilight to Canterlot with you. Probably Rarity and Applejack too. So as not to raise any suspicion, you left the train just a mile out of Canterlot and went the rest of the way on hoof. By the time you arrived, it was probably almost dawn. Even though it was so early, Princess Celestia must have been happy to allow Twilight and her friends into the castle. That’s where your plan became very tricky. How to catch either of the Princesses? It is quite logical to assume that either of them holds more magical power than Twilight, so catching them would be difficult. However, the time of day you arrived was important, assuming you really did arrive around dawn. The guards know that Twilight is special to the Princess so they probably allow her permission to things that other ponies never could. Princess Luna was just going to bed, so while Celestia attended to her morning duties as the bringer of the sun, you probably accessed Luna’s room with Twilight and Rarity, caught Luna sleeping and forced your hypnosis on her.”

“It wasn’t that easy,” Plum said slowly. “Luna came quite close to overpowering those unicorns before I took control.”

“As I thought. And using those earrings takes quite a toll on the user as well, as I understand it.” Plum nodded in slow confirmation. “You probably had to wait most of the day to recover. Once you were ready, overpowering Celestia would be a relatively easy task between two unicorns and Princess Luna. Besides, you had Twilight to use as a bargaining chip if you somehow failed. Thus, Celestia succumbed to your power. I’m not really sure why it was necessary, but you decided to take control of Twilight’s other friends too.”

“You can never be too cautious. They are heroes after all. Ponies might believe them if they discovered what had happened.”

“But that’s not the end of your plan is it?” Cheerilee continued. “It’s no coincidence that you chose to start your plan this week. You took control of the princesses just in time for the Prime Minster of Ponyland to arrive. You planned to control both lands, didn’t you?” Cheerilee pointed at the pony before her, confident that the answer was yes.

Plum shook her head, though she still smiled. “I’m really shocked. You figured all that out to the last detail. I think I might actually be impressed.”

“Well, not every detail. The only thing I can’t figure out is why. Why would you do something like this? Who are you, really?”

At that, Plum frowned. “Why? Who am I? I’m Plum. I always have been, but that doesn’t mean I always have to be.”

“I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

Plum stood up and turned to let Cheerilee see her from the side. “Do you see my cutie mark? Do you know what it is?” Her cutie mark looked to be five horizontal black lines, parallel to one another. Whatever they meant wasn’t clear at all. “This cutie mark is my prison, just as every other ponies’ cutie mark is. I have a special talent, but so what? Why does that have to be everything that I am? Why does this dictate what I do with my life? Isn’t there anything more?”

“What is your cutie mark?”

“It doesn’t matter. What does is that I don’t care to do what my special talent is. It’s a horrible job and a horrible life. I’m poor. I travel around all the time for practically nothing. I asked myself, why do ponies have to live their lives based on some unique talent?”

Cheerilee was speechless. She had never really thought about that before, but then it had never been an issue either. She loved her job and she loved the talent that her cutie mark personified. In fact, she had nearly gone crazy just because she wasn’t able to use her talent. Okay, she really did go crazy for a while. But all the same, it sounded like Plum was quite the opposite of her. Cheerilee wanted to stay in, but Plum wanted out, so to speak.

“This is the answer I came up with.” Plum indicated her earrings. “I heard about these and learned where they were. These could change everything, and make me the master of my life. And look where they’ve gotten me.” Plum snickered to herself, arrogantly flipping her braid behind her. “Now I’m a princess. I can sit in this throne.” She ordered Celestia to move out of the way and sat down.

“Does that prove something?”

“Of course it does. It means I’m in charge and can do whatever I want.” She looked around and noticed a fruit bowl sitting next to the throne. “See. I’ll take this apple… and eat it!” She took a huge bite out of the apple and smiled.

Cheerilee cocked her head to the side. “Soooo… eating an apple is equal to the epitome of absolute power?”

Plum partly choked on the apple, coughing vehemently before answering. “Don’t get smart with me. You know what I mean!”

Cheerilee watched Plum cough up the rest of the apple and shook her head. “I honestly feel really sorry for you. I always used to think that a pony’s special talent made them happy. In a way, you remind me of Apple Bloom, except in reverse. She would do anything to find her special talent and when she does, I’m sure she’ll be the happiest pony. But you… you would do anything to change yours.”

“Isn’t that what I just said?” Plum coughed as she spit out an apple seed that had lodged between her teeth. “My talent isn’t getting me anywhere, so I’m making my own rules.”

Cheerilee shook her head. “It’s true that everypony has a special talent, but that doesn’t mean it is the only thing they are good at. That’s something I’ve learned over the last few days. I may not have been particularly good at them, but I’m sure over time I would have been able to comfortably settle into any one of those jobs. I know plenty of ponies who are good at lots of things. Just look at you. You have some very impressive math skills and knowledge of mythological lore. Your plan was very complex and really you may have very well gotten away with it too.”

“What’s that?” Plum demanded. “What do you mean may have? I have gotten away with it.” Plum got up out of the throne and held her head up high so as to look down her nose at the magenta pony below her. “You think it changes anything just because you figured everything out? I don’t think so. I’m still in charge of the princesses and the Elements of Harmony. That means I own Equestria.” Plum threw her head back and cackled. “Did you really think your petty little protection was going help you save them? This whole plan of yours is a joke. Your imitation of the Prime Minister failed almost as soon as…” Plum looked her over again, this time with more of a confused expression. “Where’s the real Prime Minster? How did you get here ahead of her?”

Cheerilee smiled. “I didn’t come here ahead of her. I came with her.”

As if by some invisible command, the doors suddenly flew open.

“Unicorns!” a white earth pony with a pink mane suddenly shouted from behind eight unicorns in armor. As one, their horns all glowed, immediately igniting Celestia and Luna in a light that stunned them. Two pegasi flew in and clapped metal chokers over the princesses’ necks, the sort of chokers used on unicorn prisoners to prevent them from using magic.

Then several earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns ran in, clasping anti-unicorn chokers on Twilight and Rarity before holding the six bearers of the Elements of Harmony at a standstill.

Plum gaped. What the hay had just happened?

Equestria Saved?

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The white pony walked in and straight up to the princesses. “Forgive us Princess Celestia, but it has become necessary to temporarily take control of your castle while you are in, shall we say, poor judgment.”

Cheerilee smiled. “Prime Minister, Lily Weather, you came just in time. I guess I stalled long enough?”

“Perfectly.” Lily Weather stepped beside Cheerilee. “So you must be the famous Ms. Plum those fillies have told me so much about.”

Plum stuttered as she backed away from the two pegasi who were standing next to the princesses. “Wha-wha-wha-what the heck is going on? What happened?”

“Plum, in the name of both Ponyland and Equestria, I am placing you under arrest for kidnapping, traitorous acts, and attempt of international takeover.”

“Who me? I would never do that.”

“I’ve been standing on the other side of the door for some time now. I just heard you admit the accuracy of Cheerilee’s accusations.”

Plum gaped. “Celestia, call the guards!”

“Guards!” Celestia called. Several moments passed…

A lone earth pony stepped into the chamber. “Its done ma’am,” the pony addressed Lily. “All the guards who weren’t affected by the gas have been detained.”

“Good work. Seems we’ve been a bit luckier than I imagined.” The Prime Minister sighed in relief. “The guards are unharmed, correct?”

“Well, the guards are quite loyal. It’s taking quite a bit to restrain them. We had to resort to using more gas.”

“I suppose I should have expected no less of Equestria’s elite. This has been no easy task, Cheerilee, let me tell you.”

“Sorry. I know it was a lot to ask, especially considering…”

But Lily Weather shook her head. “It can’t be helped. We can discuss this later. Now… as for you…,” she said to Plum.

Plum looked around as several of the foreign ponies started to close in on her. Slowly backing away, she suddenly screamed, “All of you, fight to the last breath!”

“Oh no,” Lily said as Twilight and her friends started to move against her team of ponies. Celestia and Luna bucked like mad ponies as several pegasi tried to keep them under control. “Remember, don’t hurt them if you can! Especially the princesses!”

“Ma’am, that pony is making a break for it!”

Plum jumped down from the pedestal where the throne sat and darted into a side hall.

“We can’t let her get away! She could take control of others!” But the team that had come with Lily had their hooves full holding back the princesses and six other ponies in the room. That’s when the white earth pony noticed another pony leaving the room. “Cheerilee, wait! It could be dangerous!” However, Cheerilee didn’t hear her. She was already through the door after Plum, determined to set things right.


Cheerilee raced down the hall. Her plan had worked surprisingly well. Using homemade gas bombs made of some funny looking flowers that grew just outside of Sweet Apple Acres, had been surprisingly effective on the guards. They could barely tell which way was up after the gas had settled around them. Fortunately, the effects were temporary and all the guards would be back to normal in an hour or two. Hopefully, that would give the Prime Minister enough time to explain why they had had to force their way in. How else could they possibly overcome the ponies in Plum’s control? They were a formidable force together.

Now the only thing left to do was catch Plum. She had done a bit of damage around Ponyville and Canterlot with her crazy ambitions and Cheerilee wasn’t about to let her get away. Besides, she was the only one wearing any kind of protection against Plum’s earrings.

At the end of the hall, Cheerilee came to a single open door. Inside was an elaborate room that probably belonged to Celestia. The enormous bed and beautiful tapestries were enough of a clue to make it a likely possibility. Only one thing in the room didn’t belong. A tan earth pony, desperately trying to unlock the doors to the balcony.

“Plum!”

Plum whirled around as soon as Cheerilee called. “You…” Plum grit her teeth and glared. If she had been a unicorn, Cheerilee imagined that Plum would have been in danger of bursting into flames.

“Give up, Plum. It’s over. You have nowhere to go and everypony will know who you are soon enough even if you did. Surrendering quietly is your best choice of action.”

“Curse you! Everything was going perfectly and then you…” She pointed menacingly.

“Does this mean you don’t give up yet?”

“I can’t lose now! Not after everything I went through!”

Cheerilee sighed. “I see. I guess I have no choice then.” Cheerilee began walking to Plum. The poor schemer backed against the balcony doors and raised her hooves to her earrings. A bright red light emanated from her eyes, aimed directly at Cheerilee. However, the ex-teacher’s eyes only filled with pity behind her protective glasses. Plum refused to let go of her red stare until Cheerilee was standing only two feet in front of her.

“There’s two ways to do this, Plum. The easy way or the hard way.”

“Curse you!” Plum screamed out in frustration.

“I guess that means the hard way,” Cheerilee said with a sigh. “If I must, I must.”

“I don’t believe this. All my plans… all my dreams… ruined! How? How did you do this? You’re just a teacher.”

“No, Plum. I’m not just a teacher.” Abruptly, Cheerilee stood upright. “I’m a teacher who worked through college as a professional wrestler.”

“What?”

Cheerilee reached out with her front hooves and forced Plum’s head down before wrapping her forelegs around it. The shocked pony suddenly found herself picked up and hurled over Cheerilee in a vertical suplex. She cried out as she slammed her back on the carpeted floor.

“This is for my students that you terrorized.” Without letting go, Cheerilee twisted around, held Plum down on her stomach, and grabbed her back hoof, pulling her leg back.

“Ow, ow! What are you…? Oooooow! That’s not supposed to bend that way! Oooow!”

Cheerilee let go and jumped on the bed. “This is for taking control of innocent ponies.” She performed a beautiful back flip and landed full body on the pony beneath her with perfect precision, forcing the wind out of Plum. The tan pony desperately tried to suck in air as Cheerilee calmly stood up and took a position in front of her. When she finally regained her breath, Plum cringed under Cheerilee’s glare.

“Um… mercy?”

Cheerilee raised an eyebrow. “And this is for almost making Kickerbuck starve to death.” Standing on her back hooves, the magenta earth pony reached down and picked up Plum, holding her upside-down. With a surprisingly powerful leap, she jumped in the air. Plum screamed the whole way, as Cheerilee came back down in a spinning pile driver. Cheerilee held on for a few moments before releasing her grip and letting Plum fall limply on the floor.

“TKO,” Cheerilee said and gave her opponent a dismissive nod.

“Whoa!” a voice from the doorway said in excitement. Cheerilee looked to find three familiar fillies poking their heads into the room.

“What was that, Ms. Cheerilee?” Apple Bloom asked.

Cheerilee blushed. “Ask your brother about it sometime.” They had been quite a formidable tag team back in those days. “What are you doing in here anyway? We told you to stay outside.”

“Cutie Mark Crusaders, super spies!” they cried as they looked at their flanks but… nothing…


“Twilight!” Spike ran over and embraced the lavender unicorn.

“I’m glad to see you too, Spike,” Twilight replied as she hugged him back.

As soon as Cheerilee had removed Plum’s earrings, the spell she held over the others had been broken. The ponies were all present, all of them relieved that they had their own freewill again. Fortunately, they were only a little battered from their attempt to follow Plum’s last request. Even Celestia and Luna hadn’t come out completely unscathed, both of them sporting dirty fur and ruffled manes. The Prime Minister’s team had faired far worse, some of them limping and others bruised and aching from a swift kick or stab of a unicorn horn. Celestia had assured them they would be compensated in fully paid medical bills. As for the incident of taking over Canterlot, Lily Weather had already explained everything to the princesses and all had been forgiven. Peace would continue between the two countries.

“What a nightmare. And I don’t mean that ironically,” Luna said, glancing briefly at the mural of the defeat of her alter ego. “I can’t believe we could be so careless.”

“Don’t blame yourself, Princess. We’re just as much to blame for falling into her trap as you are,” Twilight said.

“That’s exactly what I mean. We should have figured something was wrong when you showed up at such a weird hour.”

“It is what it is, dear sister,” Celestia said calmly. “Somehow, Plum knew we would have our guard down around Twilight and the others. I never even imagined anypony would use that against me. As for these…” Celestia held up the pair of red earrings with her magic. “Perhaps this time they should be disposed of properly.”

“What do you mean, this time?” Twilight asked.

“It’s not the first time I’ve seen these. I was under the assumption they couldn’t be used anymore. It seems time tells a different story.”

“What are you going to do with them?” Spike asked.

“If at all possible, have them destroyed. We can’t have this kind of power falling into the wrong hooves again. We had far too close of a call.”

“It could have been much worse had Plum been more prepared. Fortunately for us, she didn’t tell you what to do in case you were attacked. Otherwise we never would have succeeded at capturing you,” Lily Weather put in.

“Fortunate indeed,” Celestia answered, nodding her head. “The fact she was able to get as far as she did is quite shaming in itself. I really must thank you for coming to our rescue.”

“I would have been caught too if it hadn’t been for her.” Lily pointed at Cheerilee who turned a little red at the sudden attention.

“Please. I didn’t really do that much. You did all the work.”

“Nonsense. It was your plan that made all this possible. You even showed us how to make those gas bombs. Besides, you were the one who caught Plum.” Lily pointed to the tied up pony who was only just then regaining consciousness.

“Huh? Where am I? What happened? Is it Thursday yet?”

“What did you do to her anyway?” Applejack suddenly asked.

Cheerilee turned a deeper shade of red. “Ask your brother sometime.”

“Big Macintosh? What’s he got to do with anything?”

“Well, he’s the one who found that job.”

“What job?”

“Just ask him about Lady and the Tramp. He’ll know what it means.” Applejack gave her a weird look as Cheerilee turned back to the Prime Minister in hopes of changing the subject.

“Letting some secrets out can’t hurt too much. Especially that one.” Lily giggled.

“You know Cheerilee?” Twilight asked her.

“Oh, yes. Not from that job, but we go way back.”

“I’m surprised, Cheerilee. How do you even know the Prime Minister?” Spike asked.

Cheerilee smiled. “Well Spike, Ponyland is quite different from Equestria. You see, they believe in democracy and elect all their officials, including the position of Prime Minister. As it happens, before Lily Weather was elected, she was a teacher.”

Twilight went wide-eyed. “Wait… you mean…?”

“Have I ever told you about the year I studied abroad in Ponyland?”

“I don’t believe it. You’re kidding.”

“She’s not,” Lily answered with a smile. “Cheerilee was one of the most enthusiastic students I’ve ever had the pleasure of teaching. I was certainly surprised to receive a letter from her out of the blue like that, especially with such unbelievable accusations. Had she been any other pony, I don’t know if I would have taken it as seriously.”

“That’s a heck of a coincidence. Lucky for us too,” Applejack commented.

“Very lucky,” Celestia said, turning to address Cheerilee. “It seems we’ll have to add another stained glass memorial to the castle.”

“Celebrating the continued peace of Equestria and Ponyland?”

“No. Commemorating you.”

“Wait… for me?” Cheerilee gasped. “But… but I haven’t really…,”

“As Lily Weather just said, it was your plan that saved us all. Had it not been for you, Plum would have won.”

“But… but I… I mean…”

“You deserve it, Cheerilee. You saved us too,” Twilight said with a cheerful glamour.

“I guess we can let you have the spotlight just this once,” Rainbow admitted.

“Thank you, Cheerilee,” Fluttershy said quietly.

“I… I don’t know what to say,” Cheerilee said, rubbing her front hoof over her other one.

“Then let it be so,” Celestia said as her horn lit up and a new stained glass portrait appeared in the castle window.

“I… really don’t know what to say.” Cheerilee grimaced. The glass depicted her pile driving Plum. How had Celestia even known?

“Wow Cheerilee, you saved Equestria!” Apple Bloom said excitedly from the corner where she, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle had been trying to practice Cheerilee’s pile driver on each other.

“And you beat Plum with that cool move!” Scootaloo chimed in.

“And you staged a hostile takeover!” Sweetie Belle added.

“You’re the coolest teacher ever!” they all screamed together.

Cheerilee grimaced again. “But I’m not a teacher. Not anymore. I lost my job, remember?”

“Cheerilee, did you forget? That was that evil Plum’s doing,” Rarity explained. “I’m sure the Principal will be happy to rehire you and the other teachers once we get back to Ponyville. And if he doesn’t, he’ll have to answer to us. We’ve had quite enough of over the top homework assignments.”

“Agreed,” Twilight and Applejack echoed.

Cheerilee smiled holding back tears. “That would be the best reward I could ask for. Thank you everypony.”

“It’s supposed to be the other way around!” Pinkie blurted. “Wait till you see the party I’m devising in my head right now. It’ll be a real doozy. I’m going to get my party cannon as soon as I get home.”

“Speaking of home, Big Macintosh is probably still looking for all of you. We should go back to Ponyville and find him. I hope he’s not still in Everfree.”

“Big Macintosh is tough. I’m sure he won’t get into any trouble in there. All the same, I would like to get back,” Applejack said, yawning a little. “I feel like I’ve been asleep for days, but at the same time I just want to go to bed.”

“Maybe we could delay the party a day or two?” Twilight asked Pinkie.

“Awwww. But I was just coming up with the perfect party entertainment. Guess I might need time to train the dancing hamsters though. Does anypony know where I can find two hundred and thirty six hamster-size tuxedoes on short notice?”

As Pinkie continued to blurt out a myriad of other party supplies, the other ponies laughed and promised Cheerilee that they wouldn’t let the party get too crazy. Easier said than done when it came to Pinkie, but it was a promise.

“Speaking of delays…,” Celestia interrupted. “Prime Minister Lily Weather, I hope you can understand if we postpone our meeting until tomorrow.”

“Certainly. You must be exhausted after that ordeal. Truly, Plum is an ambitious pony.”

“And evil!” Scootaloo chimed in. “Who tries to take over the world?”

“Well if I was goin’ to do it, I’d want to do it like Cheerilee did,” Apple Bloom put in.

“Pardon? When did I… oh… the hostile takeover…” Cheerilee rubbed the back of her head nervously. “It wasn’t really that hostile was it? I thought it was rather passive with the gas and all…”

“That would be really cool!” Scootaloo continued.

“We could totally pull that off. Maybe it could be our special talent,” Sweetie Belle suggested.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders, World Conquers!”

Three seconds of awkward silence and strange stares later…

“Uh… on second thought, maybe that wouldn’t be such a great idea,” Apple Bloom said, smiling apologetically. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement.


Celestia had sent Twilight, Cheerilee and the others home quite a while ago. Afternoon was coming to an end but Celestia couldn’t relax. She paced back and forth as she listened to Luna rant about the security of the castle. Unfortunately, she was also abusing the royal Canterlot voice in her anger.

“We need to keep alert. Even if Twilight and the others introduce us to a new pony, we should make sure to have a full background check just to make sure. In fact, we need some sort of failsafe security in place just in case something like this happens again. You know we have always been in favor of using a specialized task force whose sole purpose is to collect all pertinent information from around Equestria to discover hidden plots and rumored uprisings. We might have prevented this if such a task force had been in place in Ponyville to study the odd happenings around that school. It is unbearable to think that such an atrocity happened right here under our noses. She even made us do her bidding. She took us away from everything important.” Then her tone changed to a higher, more melodious and playful pitch as she turned to a giant black dog that was lying next to her. “Isn’t that right, Sophocles? Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?”

“Woff,” the dog replied lazily as Luna scratched his belly.

“Yes…,” Celestia said slowly. “That may be a bit extreme but I agree that something must be done.” The regal princess stopped pacing and moved to the window.

“Is something troubling you?” Luna asked, dropping the royal voice.

“I’m just thinking about something related to what you’re talking about. Don’t mind me. Please continue.”

Luna watched Celestia stand there with a far more serious expression than she usually donned. Considering all that had happened, it shouldn’t have been a surprise, but Celestia was known for staying calm in bad situations. She hardly ever frowned.

“So sister, what did you do with Plum? Lock her in the dungeon? Sent her to the moon?”

Celestia shook her head and spoke without looking at her younger sister. “The worst punishment that she could imagine. I made her go back to her old job.” Luna looked at Celestia with surprise. “You see, it seems she is a rare pony who is quite dissatisfied with her special talent. As a sad result, her job made her quite miserable.”

“And what is her job? I couldn’t figure out what her cutie mark meant.”

“Her cutie mark represents the lines of a music sheet. It seems she was a lyricist for a group of wandering minstrels. Since minstrels sing of all sorts of lore, her knowledge of the world was really quite vast, hence her knowledge of the Earrings of Somnambula.”

“A minstrel? They still have those? So something has survived from the old days.” Luna sounded a bit happier than she meant too. How nostalgic would it be to listen to a troupe of minstrels singing stories of a thousand years ago? It might be interesting to hear what old tales remained of Night Mare Moon before her horrible transformation. Luna had only managed to find a few documents of those times. But that would have to wait for later.

“I see. If it does make her so miserable then perhaps it is a fitting punishment after all.” To think a simple minstrel could be capable of plotting something as grand as world conquest… and almost succeed at that. Heck, the fact that Plum had managed to do it all by herself… “Wait a minute. Those minstrels you mentioned…”

“I know exactly what you’re thinking.” Celestia stared out the window of her balcony. “There’s another reason I made Plum go back to them. They were seen around Ponyville throughout the week but apparently disappeared after somepony chased them off, or so the reports say. Since then, there has been no sign of them anywhere.”

Both royal sisters were quiet for a moment before Luna spoke again. “Do you think those wandering minstrels helped Plum steal the earrings?”

“That’s what I’m hoping to investigate. Plum used the earrings to escape the museum unnoticed, but further investigation of the museum has just recently concluded that more than one pony broke in, so she must have had help. But who it was… if Plum can get in contact with the minstrels, then maybe we can find the answer to that question.”

Luna slowly rubbed Sophocles’ ears. “If it hadn’t been for that teacher, Plum would have had us. She got to us so easily. How did she even know those earrings would work?”

“That’s the other troubling thing. They shouldn’t have. I broke their magical properties centuries ago. I didn’t even know it was possible to restore their magic. How did she know?”

“It sounds to me like there is something more to Plum or even this group of minstrels.”

“You read my mind.” It was almost time for Luna to bring on the night. Celestia looked at the orange glow of the sunset she would be controlling in a few minutes. Two days… for two whole days, the control of day and night had been under the command of a seemingly single-minded earth pony. Magic long lost had suddenly resurfaced and caused havoc that even the bearers of the Elements of Harmony had no power to stop. A twist in fate had saved them, but what if that wasn’t the end of it? Did the minstrels help Plum steal the earrings? If so, why hadn’t they stayed involved? Were they mind controlled as well or was it something more? How deeply were they involved if at all? It was troubling, but for the moment, there was nothing to do but wait and see what the investigation turned up.

The End…
Continued in the sequal!