Bon Bon comes home to discover that her room mate has started a new religion
Bon Bon has been having a good day, and there isn't much that could dampen her mood... Then she comes home to discover that her room mate has started a new religion.
Bon Bon whistled happily to herself as she trotted home after a long day working at the candy shop. She was in high spirits, she'd gotten a bonus, had really pleasant customers, overall it had just been a great day and now she looked forward to going out with a couple friends for bowling, then returning for a nice relaxing evening at home, maybe curl up on the couch with a good book and a bowl of ice cream. She was just imagining the possibilities for the night as she neared her destination, the quaint little cottage which she shared with her best friend and room mate, Lyra Heartstrings. Bon Bon trotted up the garden path, not a care in the world, and opened up the front door, singing out "I'm home Lyra!"
Then she blinked...
And blinked...
And blinked a few more times.
There, in front of her, in the lounge room, stood Lyra, hunched over a podium with a large book on it, a quill held in her magic. She was dressed in a yellow edged black hooded robe, the hood half covering her eyes. On either side of the podium sat two ponies she didn't recognise, both dressed in the same robes as her friend with the hoods pulled down so she could see their muzzles and barely see their eyes. Both were mares, one was yellow with purple eyes and the other was a blue with green eyes, and looking closer she could see the yellow mare had put holes in her robe for her wings, so she was a pegasus.
"Hey Bon Bon!" Lyra said, smiling as she waved to her friend.
Bon Bon stared blankly before asking, "what are you doing?"
"Writing," came her simple response as she looked down to the book, quill moving on the paper.
"Aha... What's with the robes? Are you going to a fancy dress party tonight or something?"
"Nope, I just like robes." Lyra seemed really focused on her writing.
"O...kay. Um... Who are the ponies beside you?"
"Hmm?" Lyra looked up.
"The ponies sitting on the ground, on either side of you," Bon Bon gestured to them with her hoof.
"Oh them. They're acolytes." Lyra looked to them, smiling.
Bon Bon looked confused, "whose Acolytes?"
"Mine!" Lyra said with a look of glee on her face.
"Lyra...?"
"No! Not Lyra! I am now... Origin." Lyra lowered her head, hiding her face in shadows.
"Okay... Origin?"
"Yes?" Lyra, or Origin as she now wanted to be called, looked back up to Bon Bon.
"What's happening?"
"I, Bon Bon, am now the leader of the one and only true religion."
"Really"
"Yes."
"Do you still work at the music store?"
"No, I work only in Her service." Lyra raised her hooves to the ceiling.
"Of course, what was I thinking?" Bon Bon proceeded to remove her saddlebags and put them on a shelf by the door. "Do you still help to pay rent? I only ask because it's due tomorrow, and if your 'Acolytes' want to crash here I think we need to have a chat."
"This is a holy place now. We won't be paying to worship."
"Really? And what are you worshipping exactly?"
"Her!" Lyra levitated up an adorable bumblebee plushie, and immediately the Acolytes threw themselves to the floor in worship. "ADORE HER!" Lyra commanded. "Adore her, for without her you would not be! Without her foresight, her creativity, her adorable-ness, and her awesome power, YOU would not exist!"
"Sure, sure..."
"BOW DOWN TO QUEEN BEE!" Lyra leapt up onto the podium, standing on her hind hooves, but being careful not to stand on the book.
Bon Bon gave her friend a look that just screamed 'seriously?'. She'd had just about enough of this. "Lyra, I'm going out later and to do that I need to have a shower and get ready. I'm sorry, but I don't have time for your make-believe."
"Make-Believe?!" came the simultaneous cries from the two Acolytes who were suddenly standing on either side of Bon Bon, so close she could smell their breath.
"Err, that's a little creepy..."
"Do you not believe?"
"In... the bumblebee?" Bon Bon asked incredulously.
"Those of Her creations who do not believe. They are damned. They should be DESTROYED!" Lyra proclaimed, her hoof in the air.
"I just walked in the door Lyra, I haven't really had time to 'believe' yet." Bon Bon tried to back away from the so-called Acolytes, but they began to circle her.
"Believe or be damned," said the pegasus.
"Believe or I don't like you!" cried the other.
"Live like I do or don't live at all," said the pegasus again.
"Believe or die," said the other mare.
"What in Tartarus is going on Lyra, why are they talking like that?" Bon Bon said, getting annoyed.
"To not believe is a sin against us and that is punishable by death!" Lyra said, eerily serious sounding.
"You're going to actually kill ponies for not believing a plush bumblebee created the universe?" Bon Bon asked.
"Yep"
"So far, apart from you guys, I'm the only one who knows about this. Are you saying that everyone else in the world is damned? All our friends and families?"
"They will hear the word, and they WILL accept Her into their lives," Lyra replied, magically shoving the bumblebee into Bon Bon's face.
"But what if they don't hear the word?" Bon Bon asked, leaning away from the toy and wondering if Lyra had always been this crazy.
"They WILL hear the word," Lyra replied with certainty in her voice.
"Well, what if they... What if they're primitive tribal ponies who live in a little village deep in the middle of some massive jungle all the way on the other side of the world?"
"Fear not Bon Bon," Lyra chuckled. "Their ignorance shall be punished in the afterlife."
"Oh well that's certainly a relief." Sarcasm oozed from Bon Bon's voice.
Suddenly, as if having teleported, Bon Bon found her vision filled with angry mint unicorn. "DO NOT MOCK US!" Lyra shouted.
"Why not?" Bon Bon dared.
At that, the three mares threw back their hoods, revealing that one of Lyra's 'acolytes', the black and blue maned yellow pegasus, was Honey Sweets, a fellow candy maker who specialised in honey based candy. The other mare was a navy maned blue earth pony, named Postal Trip, who worked at the Ponyville post office. What shocked Bon Bon though was that all three mares were wearing headbands adorned with fuzzy bee antenna. Honey spoke up then. "We have no sense of humor," she deadpanned.
"But not to worry," Postal spoke up as Lyra and Honey held Bon Bons shoulders, "for She is forgiving! No matter what pain you have caused to others in your life, no matter what sick, perverse, immoral things you've done. All you need to do is accept her and you shall be absolved of all guilt."
"That seems like a bit of an easy way out... So I can do anything and still be forgiven?" Bon Bon asked.
"Yes!" Postal replied eagerly.
"Tax fraud?"
"Yes!" Honey replied.
"Cannibalism?"
"Ooh yes," Lyra smiled.
"Genocide?"
"Anything!" Postal replied with a wave of her hoof.
"Eating Lyra's, sorry, Origin's, special imported blackberry jam without permission?"
"No wa... I mean, y... Yes... Anything," Lyra replied trying not to sound upset at the suggestion.
"Wow, so tempting. A licence to do whatever I want with no consequences, and all I have to do is lie and say I believe that that thing controls the universe." Bon Bon was getting tired of this.
"Accept Her!" Lyra shouted.
"You do know that bumblebee is mine, right?"
This seemed to stop the three mares dead. They stared at Bon Bon, shock written all over their faces. "What?" murmured Lyra.
Bon Bon sighed, finally facehoofing. "You've been in my room again."
Ignoring Bon Bons remark, Lyra gasped. "Are you saying you created Her?"
"No, I'm saying I won her by bobbing for apples last Nightmare Night."
"Then..." Honey murmured.
"SHE'S NOT YOUR GODDESS!" Bon Bon shouted at them.
While Honey and Postal looked crestfallen, Lyra looked thoughtful. Hoof to chin, she hummed for a few moments before her eyes lit up suddenly. With a huge smile, she pointed at Bon Bon "how could I not see it before? Forgive me oh Bon Bon for I was blind, but I realise it now, YOU sent Her to us!"
"I... What?" Bon Bon asked, perplexed.
"You sent Her here... To teach us your word!" Lyra exclaimed.
"She's your prophet" Honey said in wonder.
"PROPHET!" Postal shouted.
"Alright, sure, She's my prophet," Bon Bon said. Immediately the mares fell to their knees, bowing to their supposed God. Bon Bon watched them a moment before sighing. "Alright, well if that's all sorted, I'm gonna go have a shower," she said, before turning and heading down the hall. It didn't take her long to realise that the three were crawling along behind her. "What are you doing?"
"We're coming with you oh Great One," Lyra said, lowering her head to bow again.
"I'm not going to shower with you three watching!"
"But we must bask in your glorious glorious-ness!" Honey cried.
"Well thanks, but you still can't watch me shower."
"How else can we worship you?" Lyra asked.
"I think you can worship me just fine from the lounge room. In fact, why don't you all head to the kitchen and worship me up a cider?" The mares all leapt to their hooves and scrambled away down the hall. Bon Bon sighed in relief, hoping now to have some peace, until she heard them returning almost immediately, bottle of cider floating in Lyra's magic. She facehoofed when it was offered to her.
"Is there something wrong with the offering?" Lyra asked, worried they might have picked the wrong cider and displeased their Goddess.
"Yes" Bon Bon said.
"What is it?" Postal asked, sounding like she might cry over disappointing Bon Bon.
"It's being offered to me by three grown mares, dressed in robes, wearing bee antenna headbands, who call themselves Origin and the Acolytes... Origin and the Acolytes, you sound like some coltband I would have listened to as a filly." Bon Bon now glared at them, mentally willing them to realise just how annoyed she was.
"Does this displease you oh Great and Glorious One?" Lyra asked.
"Oh for ponies sake..." Bon Bon groaned. "I AM NOT A GOD!" She shouted in her friends face.
"It's a test!" Postal then exclaimed.
"A test for our loyalty!" Honey agreed, and the mares dropped to bow, hugging her legs now.
"You are a Goddess oh Mighty One!" Lyra said as she clung to Bon Bon's leg like a foal clings to their mother when scared.
"I'm not mighty!" Bon Bon said as she tried t pull her hooves away.
"But you are!" Lyra insisted.
"I'm not!" Bon Bon said as Honey and Postal muttered 'Mighty'. "I'm not your Goddess!" She cried.
"But how do you know?" Lyra asked.
"Because I can't do God-like things, like blocking out the Sun by stomping my hoof!" she shouted angrily as stomped her free hoof for emphasis, and...
Suddenly there was only darkness...
"Oh buck me..." Bon Bon muttered into the complete and utter darkness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~MEANWHILE IN CANTERLOT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The ponies of Canterlot ran through the darkened streets, screaming about the return of Nightmare Moon. Even with the light from the houses that had been set aflame, many of the ponies still blindly crashed into one another. It didn't help that all the streets were now made of soap, with Discord getting in on the action.
From their vantage point in one of Canterlot Castle's towers, Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight Sparkle watched on, the former laughing her head off while the prior looked worried.
"Should we really be letting them do this? Won't it hurt their image in the public eye?"
"Oh lighten up Twilight, these stuffy Canterlot nobles need a good frightening every couple of decades, you should have seen my Daybreaker costume, it was years before anypony tried wasting my time with trivial matters like increasing pay for government officials or turning an orphanage into a spa because they didn't like all the noise the foals made!" The Princess of the Sun grinned down at the much younger, newly ascended alicorn. "I'll bring back the sun in a minute or two, but Luna needs this, the nobles won't try pushing her around anymore just because she's so out of touch with the times."
Twilight sighed but nodded, it did make sense, if ponies realised that Equestria's greatest rulers could also become Equestria's worst nightmares when pushed too far, they'd be less likely to push in the first place. "And Discord?"
"Oh, he's just having some fun," Celestia grinned.
Bon Bon had been furiously stamping her hoof on the ground for the past minute when the light suddenly returned. The next thing she knew was that she was sitting atop the podium in the lounge room, her bumblebee held in her hooves. "What the buck was that!?"
"It was your power over the universe, oh Great and Glorious Bon Bon," Lyra said in awe.
"I'm not a Goddess, I'd know if I were... And... You work at the music store, and as for you two... Lyra, how'd you even convince them to join you in this stuff?" Bon Bon said, now feeling a little nervous.
"You still don't believe? You've heard the word, you've seen your own awesome power, and yet you STILL don't believe?" Lyra almost shouted.
"It's just... It's ridiculous" Bon Bon said.
"Blasphemy!" Honey and Postal cried.
"Oh shut up! I can't blaspheme against myself!" Bon Bon tried to reason as she climbed off the podium.
"But you don't believe in yourself Bon Bon," Lyra said.
"No. I mean, Bon Bon isn't exactly an awe inspiring name for a Goddess"
"Bon Bon... Bon Bon... Bon Bon... Bon Bon..." Lyra started chanting, the other two joining in as they closed in on Bon Bon.
"Believe or I hate you!" Cried Postal Trip.
"Hey!" Bon Bon pulled away as Honey Sweets grabbed her shoulder.
"Believe or be damned!" the yellow pegasus said, grinning.
"Hey guys, calm down, this is getting out of hoof!" Bon Bon was really starting to freak out as the chanting of her name continued.
"Live like I do or don't live at all!" Lyra said.
"BELIEVE OR DIE!" the three mares shouted and Bon Bon felt something soft hit her as the world was plunged into darkness again.
"Help!" Bon Bon screamed as Honey and Postal held her down and the light returned, only it was red now. She struggled to get away as Lyra stood over her grinning wickedly.
Darkness as she broke free and something smashed, and she was battered again by something soft.
Red light, a shout of pain, the bumblebee covered in a thick dark sticky substance.
Darkness.
Blue light as Lyra raised her hooves for the final blow as Bon Bon lost her struggles against the mares. All of them were covered in the same sticky dark substance.
Yesterday afternoon the citizens of Canterlot fled in terror as the sky went dark, and who could have blamed them? It seemed as if Princess Luna had once more been transformed into the villainous monster known as Nightmare Moon, and to make matters worse, the God of Chaos had appeared to have joined her, turning roads to soap and making the street lights come to life. Half of Canterlot burned to the ground, though no pony knows who actually started the fires, it is believed that at least two ponies had started to burn down their houses well before Nightmare Moon had even appeared, as they were trying to claim the insurance.
Things had seemed to take a turn for the worse when the sun returned, then turned red. Daybreaker, the evil version of our beloved Sun Princess, then made her presence known, flying from the castle to battle her sister for the title of Supreme Overlord of Equestria. The mock battle that ensued was a sight to behold, and truly terrifying despite it not actually causing any damage to the city, or hurting any of it's citizens.
The fight lasted only 5 minutes, until neither princess could hold back their laughter, at which point Princess Luna dropped her disguise and proclaimed to the city in her Royal Canterlot Voice that "It's Just A Prank Bro!" to which a reply of "Aww dang it" was heard from the draconequus Discord.
When asked on her opinion, Princess Twilight Sparkle said that while she was not a fan of this extravagant type of prank, she could see the wisdom in the princesses doing it, though she refused to elaborate. When asked if she would be pulling any similar pranks in the near future, the princess replied that no, she wouldn't, after an experience in Ponyville and now this, she'd had enough pranks for at least a decade or two.
It is unknown when Canterlot will fully recover from the damage, not just to the city, but to the community. During the chaos, The Followers of the Moon, who pledged their allegiance to Nightmare Moon, fought against The Cult of the Sun, who swore their souls to Daybreaker. A third faction, The Covenant of Chaos, set about looting, and spray painting nonsensical graffiti all over the city, rather than join in the fighting. Even now, the members of the Sun and Moon factions avoid crossing paths, giving death glares when they spot each other on the street, still covered in their permanent marker symbols of suns and moons. A young bat pony stallion has been shunned by his friends and family for joining the Cult of the Sun, and only time can tell if these wounds will heal.
Lyra groaned, staring down at her plain, boring old toast. She also groaned because of her hurt hoof, which had a thick bandage on it. Bon Bon looked up from her newspaper and rolled her eyes at her friend. "It's your own fault, you shouldn't have left your jar of special imported blackberry jam on the coffee table where it could be so easily knocked off during a life and death struggle. "
"Well you shouldn't have struggled and just let me kill you, then it wouldn't have been knocked off, and I wouldn't have cut my hoof on the glass, and I wouldn't have had to spend an hour cleaning up jam," Lyra replied glumly.
"You shouldn't have been trying to kill me. Anyway, you can't kill somepony by beating them with a cushion," Bon Bon said, eating a spoonful of cereal as she continued to read the paper. "And remember, after you've finished begging your boss for your job back, you need to go explain what happened to Postal and Honey's bosses, and beg for their jobs back too. Then you need to clean the living room top to bottom, I don't want to see a speck of jam or even a tiny piece of feather fluff."
"But Bon B..."
"No Lyra, you need to fix the mess you made."
"I just wanted to start a cult!" Lyra whined.
"Yeah, well, there will be no more starting cults if you want to continue being roommates."
Bon Bon hummed to herself absently as she sat on the train. She'd had a very successful long weekend at the yearly Equestrian Candy Makers Association Showcase and Competition in Manehatten. She'd placed fifth in the Fruity Hard Candy category, third in Taffy, second in Fairy Floss, and first in Signature Creations, with her thrice dipped, soft centred, honey, lemon and vanilla bonbons. Needless to say she was returning to Ponyville in high spirits, and was looking forward to celebrating her success with her beautiful wife, Lyra Heartstrings.
Over the years she'd had to deal with a lot of fallout due to Lyra's antics, like the time she became obsessed with the ancient creatures known as humans. She'd practically destroyed an archaeological dig site when she snuck in to find proof they'd just left the planet and would return later. She'd also broken into Twilight's castle upon hearing of the magic mirror leading to an alternate world full of humans. Then there was the time she briefly started a cult, and the time she accidentally threw top secret S.M.I.L.E documents in the trash outside WITHOUT shredding them first.
More recently for her birthday she'd gone to an elaborate role-playing theatre performance in Canterlot, only to get mistaken for a real hitmare, then foiling an elaborate terrorist attack and murder plot, avoiding death and torture at every turn. She'd even received a medal of valour from Princess Celestia herself, with ceremony, parade and all, yet still to this day Lyra believed it was all a part of the theatre performance. She kept trying to get Bon Bon to spill how much it all had cost, a fortune obviously, she'd said, to get such a great Celestia lookalike and the use of Canterlot castle and some streets.
Luckily, the past few months had been relatively quiet, and Bon Bon was now looking forward to a quiet night with her wife. Maybe a nice salad for dinner, something sweet for dessert, fruit and ice-cream sounded good, she'd need to pick some up on the way home. Then maybe they'd cuddle on the couch and read together, then... Other things... Yes, it sounded like the perfect evening for a weary traveller. She smiled, collecting her things as Ponyville came into view.
"Huh," Bon Bon murmured to herself as she watched through the window, "those weren't there when I left." Indeed, the very large statue and dark building on the other side of town were new additions, and she wondered how they could have been built so quickly. She couldn't make out the details at this distance, maybe it was a statue glorifying the new sole ruler of Equestria, Princess Twilight Sparkle. That would make sense, she had ascended to alicornhood here after all, but Bon Bon couldn't shake the feeling that it might be something more sinister.
Finally the train pulled into the station, and she and her fellow passengers left the train, walking into Ponyville proper. The feeling of unease ramped up as she walked further into town. Ponies were looking at her, some pointed, some seemed fearful of her or angry at her, but most just whispered to each other.
The closer she got to the market, the more oddities she saw, bee motifs in random places, despite it being the middle of Autumn, ponies in hoods of varying colours, a little too tacky to be a trend resident fashion icon Rarity might start, and odd symbols painted on many of the doors, with scared looking ponies peeking out the windows of those houses.
Her spy senses were tingling, something was definitely wrong, and her wife senses told her that Lyra must be involved somehow, and the new building must be part of it. She made a detour home to drop off her things, which confirmed her suspicions. Lyra was a part of this, as a big 'For Sale' sign was displayed out the front, a ridiculously large price tag displayed. Now fuming, she decided to make a beeline straight for the dark building.
She began to feel nervous as she got closer, the number of ponies in hoods increasing, as well as the whispering and pointing. The number of houses with the symbols on the doors dramatically decreased the closer she got, and many ponies were wearing very familiar bee antennae headbands. She realised that there were five cloak colours, brown, black, cream like her coat, pink like her mane, and blue like her mane. The brown, black and cream cloaks had bee shaped clasps, and to her horror, the pink and blue cloaks had candy clasps like her cutie mark.
Bon Bon was almost at the statue when she stopped dead, finally realising that it depicted herself as an alicorn, rearing, left hoof raised straight up, pointing at the sky, an adorable bumblebee plushie under her right foreleg, but worst of all, she stood with a hoof on an alicorn skull. Now she galloped, anger and panic fuelling her sudden burst of speed. Around the statue towards the steps of dark, temple-like building, she ran. The large crowd of cloaked ponies beyond, who up until now had been chanting something deep and ominous, now parted and formed an isle, and they began bowing towards her.
She paused at the base of the steps as the object of her ire walked out to the top of the stairs, wearing a bright white robe with embroidered patterns in Bon Bon's colours, her horn glowing gold. "Behold, Acolytes! My beautiful, amazing, sexy, transcendent wife, and our exulted Goddess, hath returned!" Lyra's voice boomed out across the crowd, seemingly unaware of the ball of fury speeding up the steep stairs right at her. "Today we rejoice as the Great Bon Bon will share with us her sacred wisdo....!"
The speech ended as Lyra was tackled by the blur. "WHAT IN TARTARUS ARE YOU DOING!?" Bon Bon shouted at her wife, whom she pinned down.
"P..Praising your great glory!" Lyra replied, struggling to wriggle out of the irate earth pony's grasp.
"WELL STOP IT!"
"High Priestess Lyra, is everything alright?" the familiar voice of Postal Trip said. The earth pony and familiar pegasus beside her wore bright yellow robes with black details.
"If the Great One is displeased with you as a wife, can I take your place?" Honey Sweets said.
"What!? No! I should get that honour!" Postal exclaimed.
"Keep talking of replacing me, Priestess Honey and Priestess Postal, and you won't even get a place in the harem," Lyra retorted, causing Bon Bon to freeze. "Now Bon Bon, sweetie, hot as it is for you to be holding me down like this, I don't think you want your religion getting THAT sort of reputation, unless you're into that, in which case I'm all for it."
Bon Bon jumped back, mind stuttering as it tried to restart, "Y-you... c-cult.. I-I... can't... you you you IDIOT!" She stalked into the building, dragging Lyra in by the tail. The apparent Priestesses followed in behind, of course they'd fall for Lyra's antics again, they'd been so willing to join the cult the first time, and now they seemed to hold positions of power.
The interior of the temple was vast, and that was just the entrance hall. Great columns of dark marble and braziers crackling with flames lined the way up to the stairs, a long rug decorated with her cutie mark leading up to a spiky looking black and red throne right out of an evil Queen's lair. That cursed bumblebee plushie she could have sworn she'd thrown out sat on the throne like a big bee cushion. A huge stained glass window of an Alicorn Bon Bon let in the light of the setting sun. If any of Equestria's heroes walked in right now, it was safe to assume they'd believe her to be a powerful villain, up there with Chrysalis, Tirek and Cozy Glow.
"Mweh cmm mwe manh mnn heem?" Bon Bon asked, to the confused looks of the pair in yellow. Spitting out Lyra's tail, she repeated, "were can we talk in peace?"
"Oh! Right this way, Great One!" Honey said with a bow, leading the way to a door behind the columns. Bon Bon followed, dragging Lyra again. Inside was a comfortable sitting room with an open door leading to a rich looking study.
"You know, it's your own fault that these robes are now all dirty and messed up. Ponies won't take you as seriously if your High Priestess is wearing plain white robes." Lyra sat on one of the couches nonchalantly once she was let go.
"I don't want a High Priestess! I don't want any of this! I thought I told you no more cults!"
"You said no more cults if we wanted to stay roommates, but we aren't roommates anymore, we're married, so I got the cult back together!" Lyra grinned, while Bon Bon rubbed her temples, trying to suppress her growing headache.
"There wasn't an expiry date on the no cults stipulation... Forget it, how'd you even get all this? I was gone for literally 4 days!"
"I pulled in some favours, those actors from my birthday last year really helped a lot. Honestly, it was easy once I'd converted half the town, we've probably inducted 80% of the town now, though it's a shame Princess Twilight's friends left late this morning, I'm sure we could have convinced them to convert with you here to display your Godly abilities."
"Yeah, Pinkie Pie would be the perfect Priestess of Parties, Derpy isn't doing a very good job," Honey said.
"I'll say, I saw that her pinata for tonight's party is full of shiny bitey beetles she thought were candies," Postal replied.
"Wait, you didn't tell her to stop?" Lyra asked, frowning.
By now Bon Bon could feel her right eye twitching severely, a major headache coming on. This was the stupidest thing her wife had ever done, she'd be seen as an enemy of Equestria and be hunted for the rest of her life. Their only hope was to leave right now, go into hiding beyond the allied nations, and never ever see any of their friends and families ever again. She was about to say something to that effect, when the loud cracking of a mass teleport sounded from outside.
"I'm telling you Twilight, it's horrid, all those ponies wearing such tacky cloaks!" Rarity cried.
"Ah don't think that's what's important right now Rarity," Applejack said, frowning at her overly dramatic friend.
"It's still a travesty," Rarity huffed.
"Look, I don't know why we're still just talking about this, Bon Bon has started an evil cult and it's scary how fast it's spreading, it's only been four days! They took over most of the town and built a massive statue and temple in four days!" Rainbow hovered in the air with nervous energy.
"It just... It seems so out of character for her, she was one of S.M.I.L.E's top agents before the program ended..." Twilight replied.
"Ah know Twi, but look at Cozy Glow, she fooled us all and she was just a filly, Bon Bon's a trained professional at deception," Applejack said, putting a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Starlight's keepin' the crazy outta the school, but she's just one pony, and the town is almost completely under Bon Bon's control, so we need to go and stop her before this spreads beyond Ponyville. "
Twilight sighed, looking at her friends. "Okay, Rainbow, Applejack, Rarity, you guys go and find the best fighters and spell casters in the guard, it sounds like we'll need them, Fluttershy, Pinkie, tell me about this temple, you delivered bumblebees and muffins there, you must have seen some of the inside, I need to know as many details as possible to formulate a plan."
"Oh, yes, they had a very nice garden area set up for the bumblebees to live in, they said they were sacred or something," Fluttershy said as the others ran from the throne room. "I noticed a lot of the ponies wearing bee antenna, and a lot had these adorable bumblebee pins on their cloaks, though a lot also had Bon Bon's cutie mark."
"I saw their party room when I delivered their muffin order for today, it was huge! And Derpy is their Priestess of Parties or something. She only wants to serve muffins, and really, there's nothing wrong with that, but she should really have variety for a party, cause not everypony likes the same things, like what if somepony wanted cupcakes, or sandwiches, or cheese, or pastries, or cookies? She didn't even order candy, how could she not order any candy when her cult leaders talent is making candy? It doesn't make sense! And to make matters worse, she only ordered blueberry muffins! Poor Vanilla Spice is allergic to blueberries! When she goes to that party she won't be able to eat anything, and then she'll be sad because she couldn't join her friends and fellow cult members in bonding over sweets, and then she'll think she did something wrong because the cult isn't catering to her needs and she'll feel like they don't even want her there anymore, and it's just terrible!" Pinkie then gasped, "Oh! And she put shiny bitey beetles in the pinata because she thought they were candy!"
"She what!?" Fluttershy cried out, tears coming to her eyes at the thought of those poor beetles trapped in the pinata, unable to escape, until they'd been tortured into fury as the pinata was whacked until it cracked open, releasing the beetles to exact revenge on the clueless ponies.
Twilight sighed, feeling a headache coming on. She hoped the others would get back soon.
Bon Bon bolted out the room to the main entrance, the others hot on her tail as she rounded the corner and came to a stop at the top of the stairs. Princess Twilight Sparkle had appeared on a rooftop with her friends, silhouetted by the setting sun. Pegasi guards were flying above, unicorn and earth pony guards in the streets below, just beyond the crowd of worshippers. It was too late, she'd get blasted to smithereens by alicorn magic, and live on as a cautionary tale for those who wanted to coerce ponies into following them. Nopony would know the truth, that her wife was insane and was the cause of all of this.
Twilight Sparkle stepped forward, horn glowing. "Bon Bon, what you are doing cannot be allowed to continue, surrender now and we can remain civil."
Before she could surrender, Lyra jumped in front of her, horn glowing. "This is what we've been training for Bonites! We knew this day would come, it's time to protect what we believe in, to fight for our religious freedom!" A roar went up from the crowd, causing Twilight and her friends to flinch in shock. These ponies were their friends, they didn't want to fight them. The royal guards on the other hoof tensed, ready to defend the Princess with their lives.
"Take no prisoners!" Lyra roared, and the crowd moved into action, assuming battle formations with scary accuracy, and marching towards the royal guards, who reacted in kind. Pegasi dive bombed the ground troops, bringing storm clouds seemingly out of nowhere to attack with lightning and hail. Unicorns fired off battle spells and brought up protective shields, whilst the earth ponies partook in hoof to hoof combat. Postal Trip and Honey Sweets ran down the stairs to join the battle. Twilight and the others though, they charged straight for Bon Bon and Lyra.
"If I die I am so divorcing you!" Bon Bon shouted as she turned to run into the temple, wanting to hide.
Lyra followed, casting a shield over her, "I won't let that happen!"
"Then I'm gonna kill you!"
"Your reign of terror ends now, Bon Bon!" Rainbow shouted as she dived, trying to force her way through the shield.
"Stay away from my wife!" Lyra cried as she shot a laser at the rainbow pegasus, somehow keeping the shield up at the same time.
Bon Bon skidded to a halt as Applejack overtook her. "You've got this all wrong, I didn't want this!"
"Sure you didn't, that's why you trained all our friends to fight us," AJ replied.
"No! I didn't, I..."
"All Bonites are prepared to give their lives for their great Goddess!" Lyra said, shooting more lasers at Rainbow, and now Twilight, who returned fire.
"You even brainwashed poor Lyra, is that the only reason she married you?" Rarity spat.
"What!? No!"
"Oooh, that's not nice, that's the opposite of nice!" Pinkie Pie said, dodging a laser beam.
"You should be ashamed of yourself," Fluttershy said from behind a column.
"I'm telling you, I didn't do..."
"Ahh!" Rainbow was hit, and crashed to the ground, and Applejack rushed to her side, a mistake as Lyra shot at her next, causing the earth pony to grunt in pain.
"This ends now!" Twilight cried, seeing her friends hurt. She teleported to the other side of Bon Bon in a flash.
Her horn glowed brighter and she shot the shield, shattering it, causing Lyra to cry out. She charged her horn for another attack, as Lyra whipped around, ready to counter the attack, when she tripped and fell. Bon Bon watched as the beams of violet and gold shot straight for her, as if in slow motion. She screamed, in anticipation of being hit, and experienced a searing, blinding light, before cool darkness.
After years of dangerous missions as a spy, and countless life or death situations, it was getting married that had finally killed her.
Maybe if she thought hard enough, she could will herself into existence as a ghost and haunt Lyra for the rest of her days, a fitting punishment, really.
But if she couldn't manifest as a ghost, was this the afterlife?
Her disembodied thoughts in a lightless void for the rest of all time?
No Great Big Herd in the Sky?
No eternal happiness?
Not even a Hell?
Nothing?
"Ah! oh... I um, I didn't expect anypony to be sent here so soon..."
It was at this point Bon Bon realised that everything was dark because her eyes were shut. So she opened them, and found herself floating in a star filled void. Just as she acknowledged that she was floating, she came to rest on an invisible floor, which didn't seem much better than floating, as she couldn't see the 'floor' she was standing on. Then she realised who the source of the voice was.
Princess Celestia sat on a cushion, a half eaten cake next to her. It seemed she had been watching something like a tiny movie screen, which floated in front of her. It still seemed odd to see Celestia without her regalia, but even odder was finding her in a bath robe, eating desserts in a starry void. "Oh, Bon Bon! Well this definitely is a surprise, I didn't expect an Earth Pony to be able to get here, though I guess if a Pegasus can, anypony can."
The former princess stood up and strode towards the highly confused earth pony. "Well then, let's get this done, I need to get back home soon, Luna thinks I'm just in the bathroom, but if she knew I was coming here to cheat on my diet, she'd be furious. Now, I'd like to say I've been watching you closely for years and knew that this was your destiny, but that would be a lie."
She guided Bon Bon forward with a wing, past more of those tiny movie screens, each showing moments of her life. "So yeah, you've come such a long way, I lost track of you after S.M.I.L.E disbanded, but according to these, you've lead a very interesting life, with lots of adventures and fulfilling moments and such, so I guess the fates have deemed you worthy to ascend and become an Alicorn, that or it's a permanent magical mishap caused by the mixing of two powerful magics, but who can say?"
"An Alicorn!?" Bon Bon stared at Celestia and shock.
"Yeah, it'll probably take you years to learn the magic, but the flying should be relatively easy in compa..."
"I can't become and Alicorn!"
"Why ever not?"
"It'll just give Lyra justification to continue her stupid cult!"
"Oh right, I was watching the battle, good show, Twilight's very angry," Celestia said with a chuckle.
"That's another thing, Twilight's gonna kill me for sure!"
"I don't think she would, she knows how sacred ascension is,"
"Yet you eat your cake in the sacred ascension void."
"Hey, thing's taste so much better here, ascended almost, and besides, evil ponies cannot come here... I tried to bring one here once... it wasn't pretty..." Celestia looked away, a look of horror in her eyes as she whispered, "so much blood..."
"Cozy Glow became an Alicorn," Bon Bon pointed out.
"Only through dark and unconventional means."
"But..."
"No buts, the only way to leave the Ascension Void is to ascend, or already be ascended, there's no backing out, you're stuck."
Bon Bon groaned, wishing she could just wake up from this nightmare. Why couldn't she have a normal boring life with a normal boring wife?
"What if you just killed me?"
"No can do, ponies can't die in the ascension void, I've tried that too."
"Wait, on who!?"
"Well there's a reason Prince Blueblood is Prince."
"How in Tartarus could he ascend!? Also he doesn't have any wings!"
"Nor does he have any memories of this place, magic is a brilliant thing. But seriously, you've met him, you can't hold it against me. He was a royal pain in the flank before ascending, can you imagine what he'd be like if he knew he was actually an Alicorn? As to how he ascended... I have a guess or two, but no real idea honestly, I found him in here one day when eating a cake my doctor didn't want me to have. My first guess was that he accidently caught a very sick foal who fell from the 19th floor of a burning building, and his magic somehow cured the foal as well, and the act threw destiny for a loop so he fluked his way here, but that would have been all over the papers."
"Then why did you call him a Prince and let him live in the castle? Why not make him believe that he's just an ordinary unicorn?"
"A promise I made to his dying grandmother, my daughter."
"Daughter!? But... But..."
"Hey! I may be an immortal alicorn, older then everyponies great great great ect's grandparent, but I am not a prude, I've had kids, I've had lovers, and you are not getting out of your destiny by questioning me for all eternity! Now ascend and get out of my ascension void!"
Bon Bon cried out as magical light and energy surrounded her, and she lifted into the air, before vanishing.
Celestia sighed, hoping that Bon Bon would calm down soon. But now, it was time to return to her delicious desserts, much deserved now that she'd ushered new blood into the Alicorn gene pool, a job well done, deserving of a reward. She turned around and stopped dead.
"Bathroom, huh?" Luna stood next to the half-eaten cake, eyebrow raised.
"I was... I was just storing that here, for a friend!"
"Right..."
"Ummm... Uh..." Celestia glanced around nervously, sweat beading down her forehead, before she spotted one of the screens, and pointed at it. "BON BON JUST ASCENDED AND TWILIGHT THINKS SHE'S RUNNING A CULT BUT REALLY IT'S HER WIFE LYRA AND THERE'S A WAR HAPPENING IN PONYVILLE!"
"Wait... WHAT!? This I've got to see!" Luna trotted over and sat in front of the screen to watch.
Celestia wiped away the sweat with a sigh of relief.
"You're still not getting the rest of that cake though, dear sister," Luna snapped, crushing the rest of the cake with magic.
Celestia sat, tears in her eyes at the destruction of such delicacy.
"YOU DISINTEGRATED HER!" Lyra cried, sobbing on the scorch mark where Bon Bon had been. "My poor poor wife, I should have listened to her, we should have taken over from the shadows!"
Twilight and her friends glanced at each other awkwardly, they'd never had to deal with ponies mourning a villain before. "Lyra, it had to be done, she was..."
"She wasn't even a part of this! I organised everything! She didn't want ponies knowing about her greatness, I told everypony! And you killed her! I never even found out if she won any of the categories at the Equestrian Candy Makers Association Showcase and Competition..." Lyra broke down sobbing.
"Oooooh, right! Bon Bon's been away for the past 4 days making candy in Manehatten!" Pinkie Pie said, bouncing around the group.
"You couldn't have told me that BEFORE I killed her!?" Twilight snapped.
"Oh she's not dead silly!" Pinkie laughed, heading towards the entrance where the sounds of battle were quieting down, and a glowing light shined through the doors.
"What!?" Twilight and Lyra ran to the door and gasped at the sight before them. Bon Bon floated above the crowd, drifting down to a clear patch. As she landed, her mane parted to reveal a horn, and wings spread out from her back. Everypony gasped at the sight.
"BON BON!" Lyra shouted as she tackle hugged her wife to the ground. "I thought you were dead!"
"I thought I was dead... Lyra, seriously, no more cults, end it, send everypony away, or we're done..." Bon Bon said, emotionally exhausted.
"Oh.. right..." Lyra stood and lit her horn. "Umm, sorry guys, the cult is over, our Glorious God... I mean, Bon Bon, says this has to end. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."
Twilight's horn glowed as she approached the pair, and all the guards dissapeared in a flash. "Bon Bon, please allow me to apologise for this misunderstanding, I had no idea you were so close to ascension, and I don't want this to affect our relationship in the future..."
"It's okay Twilight, I'd overreact too, but honestly, I'm so sorry this happened, and Lyra takes full responsibility. Possibly a long stay in the ABC will suffice?" Bon Bon smirked.
"ABC?" Twilight asked.
"Absolute Boredom Chamber."
"Wait, what!?" Lyra exclaimed.
"Ah, that ABC, I completely agree," Twilight replied with a smile.
Lyra's eye's widened as she realised she was in trouble. "Oh buck me..."
"Hmmm... Maybe later," Bon Bon said, nodding at Twilight, who lit her horn.
Lyra vanished in a flash, reappearing moments later in a grey room. A bed, table, chair, bookshelf full of science textbooks, and a door to a tiny bathroom were all that was inside. Lyra lay on the bed and lamented her foolishness, she vowed that she wouldn't let Bon Bon know about her next idea.
