> The Unbefuddling of Dudley Dursley
>  by No One and Nobody
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1: In Which We Meet a Very Spoiled Brat
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Chapter 1: In Which We Meet a Very Spoiled Brat


Dudley awoke to his favorite smell in the morning, sizzling bacon and poached eggs.

He rolled over in his comfy bed and grunted.

I hate Fridays. He thought to himself. Well, if I can't sleep, neither can Harry.

With this one semi-happy thought in mind, Dudley rolled out of bed and put on his clothes. As he ambled down the hallway he considered pounding on the wall and jumping up and down on the stairs to wake up Harry. But that would probably make his mother mad.

Well too bad for her. If she wants Harry to wake up I'll do it for her my way.

Dudley came to the stairs and jumped up and down on them while slapping the wall with the flat of his hand and yelling, "WAKE UP POTTER! WAKE UP!"

"I'm already awake," said Harry from the bottom of the stairs.

This made Dudley angry.

The one reason I got up and he spoiled it. Stupid Potter!

Dudley pushed past Harry and ran into the kitchen.

His father sat at the table reading the morning post while his mother cooked the meal. The smell of fresh bacon and the sound of sizzling grease automatically dictated to Dudley the first words out of his mouth.

"I'M HUNGRY!" he yelled as he sat down at the table and banged his fork and knife on the tabletop.

"It'll be ready in a minute," said Vernon, Dudley's father. Then, glaring at Harry as he came into the kitchen, he said, "Well boy, are you going to get the food or not?"

Dudley spun around in his chair, eager for some sport.

"Yeah Potter, I'm starving!"

Harry nodded and walked over to get the plates out of the cupboard and get some breakfast for Dudley and his father.

Dudley sat there impatiently waiting for his food. He wasn't really that hungry. But since he had made such a big deal about it he decided he would just have to make himself be that hungry.

When Harry brought back their filled plates he started stuffing his face with crisp bacon and fluffy eggs.

"So what's on your plate this afternoon?" asked Vernon, leaning forward in his chair to listen to what Dudley had to say.

Can't he see that I'm eating?

Dudley looked up at his father, his cheeks full of half-chewed food, and said, "I'll probably head over to my friend's house to study."

It was a lie. Dudley hardly ever studied. He was smart enough that he could usually get away with it, not that he even cared about his grades. After all, he could always complain that it was the school's fault, or better yet... Harry's. He was actually going to his friend's house to play video games.

That'll show him for asking me when I'm eating.

"That's my boy," said Vernon, smiling proudly.

"Our little genius," said his mother, "But honey, don't you think you think you should take a break? After all, too much studying is just as bad as too little."

"Mum, can't you see I'm eating?" said Dudley with his mouth full.

"Let the boy finish his breakfast," said Vernon, returning to his paper as he stirred his coffee.

"Sorry dear," said his mother, then she snapped up a wooden spoon and rapped the stove inches away from Harry, who had been trying to get himself some eggs.

"Wait your turn!" She said angrily, as Harry withdrew his hand quickly and stared at her.

"I was going to set your place first," he said, holding up two more plates.

"Set my plate down," she said, scooping egg onto it, "You can serve yourself."

Taking her plate, Dudley's mother swept over to the table and sat down, gazing fondly at her son.

But Dudley wasn't paying attention. He was keeping an eye on Harry. While he never let on about it, he had always been a little wary of Potter and now that he'd been attending this creepy magic school he's been getting bolder. Harry could receive magic letters by owl, he could give Dudley a pig's tail if he wanted and Dudley had even wondered if maybe Harry went flying around on a broomstick like the witches he had read about. He would push Harry around, but he always made sure he kept him in sight.





When the bus came to pick him up Dudley found his friends and sat down with them.

His friends were a rowdy bunch. They cracked jokes and made fun of their favorite subject, other students, with Dudley at the lead.

This was his element. He loved pointing out others' flaws. For him it was almost as easy as ignoring his own.

You'd think they'd at least try to hide them from me. Of course, even if they did, I'd be able to see right through them.

At their next stop Dudley pointed out a girl with braces who liked smiling a little too much, two kids with funny hairdos and a little baby that had dropped its toy out of its perambulator outside the bus.

At their last stop though, a new girl got on.

Must have just moved in, said Dudley to himself as he looked at her.

She had on a sky-blue shirt with streamers and balloons on it like a party with the caption, Gonna Pinkie all day....

As she sat down several of Dudley's buddies snickered.

On the back of her shirt was some stupid pink creature fast asleep on a frilly pillow with the caption and Smile all night.

Dudley didn't know what to make of it. Usually kids her age, even the girls, would have cool stuff on their shirts, unless they were nerds, not this dump pink creature that looked like it was out of a cartoon for babies.

"Did you see that?" said one of his friends, nudging him and pointing smugly in the girl's direction.

Dudley nodded but didn't say anything. He didn't know what to make of it. The girl didn't look weird; the only odd thing about her was her shirt. His friends quickly lost interest in her though, as she was apparently oblivious to their comments and raucous laughter.

Dudley turned his attention to the school as the bus rolled up. He and his buddies got off and headed to their first class.

Just my luck. Thought Dudley as he sat down.

The girl with the dumb shirt had come in and was sitting right behind him.





Halfway through class, while Dudley was playing with his pencil and daydreaming about nothing in particular, he accidentally lost his grip and it fell to the ground.

He tried to get it but it was just out of his reach and getting up from his desk was the last thing Dudley's wanted to do. He could feel the eyes of one of his friends to his left staring at him, and Dudley wasn't about to make himself an easy target.

"Here you go," said the girl behind him, picking it up and handing it to him.

Dudley took it from her without responding and continued playing with it.

When class was over he decided to put things in their place and make a statement to this girl.

Turning around he said, "Nice shirt..."

"Thanks-" she started to say.

"Did you steal it from your baby sister?"

She raised an eyebrow and grinned, "Actually my older brother gave it to me for my birthday. He's on a tour of duty right now but last month he got if for me and now we have matching shirts. He's actually the one who got me interested in the show in the first place."

"What show?"

"The current generation of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic."

Dudley snorted and his friends snickered from the other side of the room where they were watching him.

"Then your brother's an idiot!" he said flicking his pencil into the air as he left the room.

"See you later," she called happily after him.

"What was all that about?" asked one of his cronies.

"What a fruit cake."

Dudley scowled.

He was angry. Not because that girl liked such an stupid show. No, he was angry because she hadn't gotten angry at him; she hadn't gotten scared or wimpy like he expected. Harry knew. Almost everyone at school knew to be scared of him. But not this girl.

I don't ever want to sit near that girl again.





As luck would have it Dudley didn't even have the girl in any of his other classes.

He sat there, barely paying any attention to his instructors as he thought about her.

The more he thought about how nice she had been, the more it ticked him off. Almost unconsciously, ponies took on a hated position in his mind.

When class was over he headed to the library to fiddle around on the internet.

He liked the internet, it was filled with lots of funny stuff, but he loved the memes of people doing stupid things best of all.

He put captioned pictures of people doing stupid stuff into the search bar and sat back, scrolling through the list until he came to a picture of a guy carrying a horse on his back. The caption said Take a horse, they said. It will be much faster, they said.

On a whim Dudley went back up to the top of the page and put dumb ponies into the search bar.

The next thing that came up were exactly what he had been expecting, dump rainbow-colored ponies with stupid expressions. Some were animated GIFs with the ponies bouncing up and down like possessed stuffed animals.

He closed that page and went to a forum where some people he knew hung out. They all liked the same kinds of things and talked about video games, movies, music and their lame parents.

After some rude jabs someone made about their father, Dudley typed something into the chat box and hit enter.

Ponys are stpid

He waited for the usual response of 'totally!', 'duh!', and 'lol' from his friends.

Ponys?

Horse?

No ponys you *$#%!

Luv and tolerance 4 u man.

PINKIE PIE IS BEST PONY!!! /)^3^(\

BROHOOF MAN /)(\

20% COOLER!!!

Dudley stared in shock at the screen as the comments became more and more unreadable.

What was a brohoof? Who or what was a Pinkie Pie and what kind of emoticons were those?

An argument started between several people on the site about the 'doctor's best assistant/shipping' and Dudley signed off with a scowl.

What's going on here? Is the whole world going nuts?!

Dudley headed to his friend's house to drown his anger by blasting holes in virtual players.





When Dudley got home that night, it was late. His parents never paid that much attention to when he got home. They weren't worried about him; he was their big, strong boy.

Dudley walked up the stairs to his room, making sure to stamp loudly on the step right over Harry's head.

As Dudley walked past his parents' room he heard them snoring like a set of broken accordions. His father had a deep bass grunt, and his mother had a whiny, wheezy tone. He rolled his eyes and walked into his room.

Shutting the door, he placed his small backpack on the ground and got on his computer.

Opening his browser he checked his email and then started watching some funny clips on youtube.

He never noticed how late it had gotten but after a while he found himself leaning towards the screen and his eyes began to feel heavy.

One more video and then I'm going to bed.

He clicked on the next video and froze. In the corner off the screen with the rest of the suggested videos was a video with a stupid pony in it.

He hit the full screen and watched the funny clip while trying to forget the stupid video on the side.

When the clip was over he sat there staring at his screen.

He didn't want to exit out of full screen because then he would have to see the stupid pony video and he was getting tired of it all.

I'm not going to watch a stupid cartoon for babies!

He blinked, rubbed his eyes with one hand and yawned. Then he exited the full screen and his cursor went up to the exit button for the browser.

What if there's something to it?

His cursor hovered over the exit button as he looked at the stupid pony video, his tired mind coming up with some kind of excuse to partake in this obviously forbidden fruit.

It's stupid!

Then you can make fun of it...

It's for little girls!!!

All the more reason to make fun of it...

His cursor moved off the exit button and towards the video as he said to himself, One more video and then I'm definitely going to bed.

He clicked on the link and a blue screen appeared with the words My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

He groaned inwardly.

Then came a bright pink screen with the words Pinkie Pie's Smile Song! *In Pinkie-Tastic* HD

He felt his face begin to curl into a sneer-

Suddenly the screen was overflowing with a bright, happy, cheerful pink creature singing its way through the streets of some country style town.

Dudley's sneer started to fade to be replaced with a look of blank confusion.

The pony's voice wasn't annoying... The song was bouncy and catchy... The animation was colorful and simplistic but it was kind of... interesting......

My Little Pony: FIM - Pinkie Pie's Smile Song (In Pinkie-Tastic HD)

Suddenly all the ponies were singing, jumping on the rooftops and dancing in the streets as the music built to a crescendo.

The video ended with Smile Everyone!!! ^_^ and Dudley sat there staring at the screen his mind a tired, confused mess.

That was... it was... I can't say nice! It-it was-

In an effort to forget what he had just seen he moved his cursor almost automatically to another video on the side.

Suddenly his screen was filled with the same pink pony, only this time there was something off about her.

Her hair was flat and she was talking to a bucket of turnips, a pile of rocks, a sack of flour and a pile of lint about her friends.

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic: Pinkie Pie Loses it.

If Dudley had been confused a second before he was now twice as confused.

He clicked on clip after clip, working his way through funny scenes and beautiful music, slowly learning about the characters.

There was Pinkie Pie who was funny, hyper and perhaps just a little psycho.

There was Twilight Sparkle who was capable of doing complex math in her head, Rainbow Dash who was apparently faster than Sonic, Applejack who was the classic American country cowgirl, Fluttershy who seemed to be able to out-cute anything from wild bears to giant dragons, and Rarity, who for some reason wasn't as annoying as he thought her character should be.

After quite a while he realized what time it was and went to bed still trying to figure out what was going on.

Am I going crazy too? He thought as he slowly fell asleep.
> Chapter 2: In Which We Continued to Follow this Spoiled Brat Through His Miserable Life
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Chapter 2: In Which We Continued to Follow this Spoiled Brat Through His Miserable Life


Dudley always slept in on Saturdays no matter what.

When he woke up he had an early lunch and went back up to his room.

I'm not going crazy. But the show can't be that good.

He sat down at his computer again and managed to find the first few episodes online.

He watched through a few... and then a few more... and then a few more.

Every now and then however, he would pause the video and look over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching him. He felt very subconscious of himself, watching this stuff.

The third time he checked over his shoulder he saw Potter standing in the hallway looking at him.

Dudley swiftly closed his browser and turned around.

"Potter!" he said, gesturing for Harry to come over.

Harry came slowly towards Dudley.

"You tell one soul about this," said Dudley, waving his fist under Harry's nose, "And I'll hit you so hard that there won't be enough left over for your magic friends to clean up. Got it?"

Harry nodded and stepped out of the room. He had seen Dudley doing stuff he shouldn't have before and kept his mouth shut. But this was probably the weirdest he had seen yet.

He won't tell anyone. 'Specially not my parents.

Dudley spun around in his chair and turned the show back on. He was kind of, maybe, sort of... starting to enjoy it.





It had been a week now and Dudley was well into the second season of My Little Pony. He hadn't told any of his friends and both his parents were completely in the dark.

After he had finished the first season Dudley had decided that he definitely liked the show. But he was too ashamed to tell anyone, even the new girl at school.

She'd probably just tell everyone and then I'd be a laughing stock.

Harry had kept his mouth shut and, once he left for that school of his, Dudley had really started to get into the show.

It was bright, cheerful, upbeat and, whether he knew it or not, had some very nice lessons weaved into the story. It was very unlike his life.

Slowly his disposition began to change. 





One morning, after Harry left for school, Dudley came down to breakfast with his parents.

"How did you sleep dearest?" asked his mother, her overprotective nature ever-present regardless of Harry's absence.

At first Dudley wanted to say Fine as he usually did. But then it was almost as if Applejack, walked into the kitchen, stepped up behind him and whacked him on the back of the head.

"You talk straight ta' yer elders now young 'un, ya' hear?"

"It could have been better," said Dudley, unconsciously rubbing the back of his head.

His mother looked worriedly at him, "I have noticed that you seem more tired in the morning."

"He's fine dear," said Vernon, picking up his cup of coffee, "We don't always get the sleep we should when we're that age. He'll grow out of it."

As Dudley sat down however, his father put down his paper and said, "So what are your plans today my boy?"

Dudley thought about it and came to the conclusion that he'd study a little after school and then come home. Ever since he had started watching the show his grades had been improving. This was because Dudley, with the help of Twilight Sparkle, was taking a little more pride in his own intelligence.

He told them this, after he had finished chewing, and then asked to be excused.

"But Dudley you've barely finished your meal," said his mother in shock.

"Thanks Mum," he said, "It was delicious but I wasn't really that hungry."

He left his mother standing in the kitchen with the half empty plate of food and worried look on her face.





As Dudley boarded the bus, he found himself easing into a chair nearer the middle of the bus rather than the back with his old buddies.

They're really loud. He thought to himself, And they kind of remind me of Diamond Tiara.

Dudley kept quiet while the bus picked up some more students. He was thinking.

Lately Dudley had been doing more of this. However he didn't actually notice it, that's why it was having such a profound effect on him. If he knew what was happening to him, Dudley just might have tried to put a stop to it.

"Can I sit here?"

He looked up to see the girl. She wasn't wearing her Pinkie Pie shirt, which Dudley now thought was kind of cool, this time. Instead, she was wearing a blue shirt with the word Allons-y! written on it.

Now that he understood more about what this girl liked, Dudley almost felt like saying yes. However just then one of his old friends cracked a joke and they all broke out laughing.

Dudley's eyes nervously darted towards the back of the bus, then he shook his head stiffly.

"OK then, see you later."

The girl sat down in a seat a little ways in front of Dudley and he breathed a sigh of relief and... disappointment?

From the empty seat next to him, AJ's gaze flicked between Dudley and the girl. AJ's sigh was barely audible over the screech of the breaks as the bus started moving again.





After class was over Dudley went to the library to study. He could see Twilight, who could barely contain her excitement, dancing nervously in front of the door, waiting for him to open it.

A while later he was sitting at a table reading his history text book. He was so engrossed that he failed to notice three of his friends sneaking up behind him.

"What are you doing man?" asked one, prodding Dudley in the shoulder.

Dudley jumped and spun around in his chair.

"I was read-"

"Shhhhh," said someone at the other end of the table.

"I was just reading," continued Dudley, quieter now that he realized it was just his friends.

"Yeah but that looks like the text book for your algebra class," said the second picking his book up, sideways in one hand, "Whoops, my bad. Old dead people."

Dudley spun around and grabbed the book from his friend's hands.

"I was reading that!" He retorted, angry that they had lost his place.

"Shhhh," came the voice from the end of the table.

"Yeah we know," said the first in a harsh whisper, "What I wanna know is, why're you read'n it?"

Dudley probed his mind for some kind of excuse. Then he felt Twilight's hoof touch his knee as she to, took hold of the book, protecting it with him, and he said the first thing that came to mind.

"I was just trying to get a little studying in so that I won't be as worried on the next test."

At first, it sounded to him like a perfectly reasonable excuse.

"Since when have you ever worried about a test?" asked the third.

Oops. I've never worried about tests before. Thought Dudley, realizing his mistake, This is weird.

He wanted to tell them that his parents were forcing him to, however AJ was leaning against the table, tapping her hoof on the floor and, even though he couldn't see her, he could feel her eyes drilling into him.

My parents are making me- He could hear the words in his head. It would be so easy.

So then why couldn't he?

This is getting really weird.

"I just decided I should pull my grades up a little," said Dudley, "It's for my parents."

Not entirely a lie. My parents would certainly be happy if I came home with better grades.

Silence hung in the air as they stared at him. It was making Dudley uncomfortable. Out of habit he adopted a sneer and let his eyes drift aimlessly over the three. As quickly as the tension appeared, it vanished and Dudley could feel the door to the group opening to let him back in.

"OK fine, whatever. Just so long as you don't miss the big game tonight."

Dudley's face blanked.

"What game?"

"Hello," said the first one, tapping Dudley on the head, "Tonight's the night we waste all the guys on that US server."

"Actually," said Dudley, who wanted to catch some more MLP episodes tonight, "I had some other plans."

"Come on!" said the second, "We need you, no one handles a rocket launcher like you. You #$@& those %*$%s!"

Dudley could have sworn he heard Fluttershy 'eep' at his friend's language. It made him kind of uneasy and the more he thought about it the more his friends definitely reminded him of Tiara. The door to their 'friendship' stood open before him, all he had to do was forget ponies for the night and go back to how things used to be.

For just one night... Just one short-

Time froze around him as Dudley felt the sudden urge to look down take hold of him. He stared at the waiting expressions of his three friends like a deer in the headlights as his head started drooping towards the magnetic force that he knew, if he looked at it, would completely annihilate his internal argument.

He could feel each interminable moment pass by, almost like he was suffocating. As his head drooped lower he could feel the tension return, and then surpass itself.

At last he gave in and dropped his gaze.

Right into the aquamarine orbs below him.

"Sorry guys," he said, turning back around to his book, "I'm busy tonight."

He never had a chance.





After his friends left and Dudley had finished studying, he pulled out his phone, turned his seat around so his back was to the wall, plugged in a set of earbuds and started watching an episode.

This one was about Rainbow Dash and how she had hurt her wing.

As Dudley watched he found himself being drawn into the story and rooting for Daring Doo, but also for Rainbow. Ironically, he thought that part where she was embarrassed by her new love of reading was hysterical. He had to keep himself from bursting out laughing in the library.

Just then he felt someone tap him on the shoulder and he jumped, hit the power button on on his phone and sent it spinning into the air to land on the ground.

It was the girl.

"You don't even know her name?!" came the indignant voice of Pinkie Pie from his left.

"Sorry," she said, stepping back a little, "I just noticed what you were watching and..."

"Please don't say anything," said Dudley, pleadingly.

"It's OK," she said, "I won't tell a soul, Pinkie Promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"

She carefully executed the movements and gave him a strange look.

"Why did you start watching it anyway? I thought you said it was 'stupid'," as she said this she made quotation marks with her fingers.

The Dudley of several weeks ago who had just lost his friends due to ponies (mostly Fluttershy), opened his mouth to retort and...

"Stuuu-pid, stEEEWWWW-pid. That's a funny word. Stu-pEEED-"

Dudley's angry reply morphed into a chuckle which he quickly converted into a cough. Then shook his head and shrugged, "Don't really know. I watched Pinkie's Smile song and after that I watched some more. Next day I decided to give the show a shot. By the way what's your name?"

"Sara."

"Nice to meet you," said Dudley, holding out his hand, "I'm Dudley Dursley."

Sara grabbed his hand and started shaking it vigorously.

"Well howdy do Mr. Dursley we here at you know where sure do like making new friends..."

Dudley smiled and said, "Friends? Actually I-"

"Now what can I do you fer?"

She let go of Dudley's hand but he kept shaking it in the air a few times.

They laughed.

Dudley couldn't ever remember laughing with someone like this before in his life. It was pleasant, it was enjoyable, it was...

Super-duper funtastimazing!, came the voice behind him and he fully agreed.





It had been several months now and Dudley had become a fan of not only the show but also the fan works as well.

Sara had introduced him to the world of fanfiction as well as some of the better Brony music and Dudley would be lying if he said he hadn't shed a single tear during My Little Dashie.

Dudley had also begun, through Brony music and art, to appreciate some different styles. He learned that he actually liked some of the orchestral stuff, and piano arrangements. He even became more appreciative of classical artwork because of the ponies.

He tried to watch most of the stuff when his parents were out of the house but when Harry got back his parents stayed home more often.

Harry never mentioned anything about Dudley's secret to either his parents or any of his friends and slowly, almost infinitesimally, Dudley began to treat Harry differently. At first he just lowered his voice when he talked to him, then he started being more polite. Then one day... he actually called Harry by his first name.

That got his parents attention.





"We've noticed dear," said his mother as they sat in the living room, "That you seem different over the last month or so and I was just wondering if you feel alright?"

"Different in what way?" asked Dudley, munching on a carrot instead of his usual cookie.

His mother looked at his father and then back at Dudley.

"You haven't been eating well, you seem to be getting very little sleep and you're not acting like yourself."

Dudley chewed a little and sat down in the armchair.

"I feel fine. Honestly I think I've been eating healthier over the past month, and I know I could probably use more sleep but I'm doing fine, my grades are OK and I'm not falling asleep in class or anything. Besides I kind of like how I've been acting. Is it bothering you?"

"Well I wouldn't say bothering-" started his mother.

"Whatever happened to the tough little blighter I thought I raised?" asked his father, cutting in, "You thanked Harry this morning when he brought you your tea!"

"I was just being polite," said Dudley, "A little common courtesy never hurt anyone. In fact most of my teachers say they like how polite I've become over the past few weeks."

His father gave him a hard stare and said, "Ok, but don't you forget, Potter's just your aunt's son. He's barely our responsibility, an' he's lucky we're taking care of him at all. If anybody should be polite it should be him, not you. Remember that."

Dudley nodded his head and his father dropped the matter and left the room. His mother seemed a little more at ease with her son's explanation and over the next few days even tried some new recipes with Dudley.
> Chapter 3: In Which Dudley is Discovered and We Feel Sorry for Him (Plot twist)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Chapter 3: In Which Dudley is Discovered and We Feel Sorry for Him (Plot twist)


Dudley could hear the drizzle of rain as he rolled over in bed and tried to go back to sleep. He always slept in on Saturdays.

Then the lights in his room came on and Dudley flinched and rolled over to see who dared to disturb his slumber.

As his eyes adjusted to the brightness he could see Applejack standing by his door with her hoof on the light-switch. Pinkie was bouncing up and down in the middle of his room, her pink curls as springy as ever and Twilight was emerging from the closet with one of his text books in her mouth.

"Up and at 'em," Sank AJ in her southern drawl, "Can't have you layin' around here. You've got things to do."

"Yeah!" Chimed in Pinkie, "Don't forget Harry's coming back today."

"And you should really study for the pop quiz you know they're going to have on Monday," said Twilight, levitating the book in her magic.

I sleep in on Saturday, Thought Dudley to himself as he squinted groggily at AJ.

"I know," muttered a gentle voice from beside his bed and he saw Fluttershy rubbing the carpet with one hoof and trying not to look him in the eye, "And we're really sorry to wake you up like this, but if it's not too much trouble-"

"Rise and shine yah sleepy varmint," and AJ began flicking the lights on and off in rapid succession.

Dudley groaned inwardly and, at last, gave in.

OK, I'll get up. Please stop flashing the lights.

AJ quit. Pinkie hopped over and whipped the covers off the bed, turning herself into a miniature ghost as the blankets landed on her head.

Dudley sat up and stretched. Pinkie was now at the helm of the light-switch. The room looked like it was being illuminated by a strobe light.

Twilight poked the ghostly bulge in the blanket and it deflated on the floor. Rolling her eyes, Twilight's horn glowed and her magic made the bed as Dudley stood up.

He stretched and, still squinting, put his hand on the light-switch, "Could you please stop that Pinkie?"

The lights came on and Dudley opened his eyes to find himself all alone in the room. His text-book sat on his desk, his bed was made and his clothes were folded and resting right where Pinkie had been standing.

Or had she been standing?

Dudley sat down in his chair and began to seriously contemplate these ponies.

Sure, they'd been getting him to do things over the past few months, but that had all been his imagination. Waking him up in the morning on the other hand? This was starting to get a little too weird. Had it all been a dream? Was Harry playing some kind of magical prank on him?

"Wouldn't that be cool?" Came a voice from behind him, "After all, we are awesome! Right?"

Dudley, now thoroughly awake, rolled his eyes and headed downstairs for breakfast.





As Dudley ate the scrambled egg, bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich his mother had made for him, he listened to his father lay out the plan for the day and unhappily pick at his healthier breakfast.

"...And then after shopping we pick the boy up and come straight home."

"Did we forget anything you'd like dear?" asked his mother, looking up from her list.

Dudley swallowed and looked at the kitchen table. An idea had just occurred to him.

"You suppose I could stay home today instead of picking up Harry? My physics professor hinted there might be a pop quiz on Monday and I want to be prepared."

Vernon gave Dudley a suspicious look and said, "Now you don't need to become a rocket scientist my boy. Grunnings will be happy to take you, whatever your grades."

Looking at his mother, Dudley continued, "I could clean my room too..."

His mother was delighted with the idea and Vernon reluctantly agreed, commented under his breath that, "if 'the boy' were normal he could just take the bus."

Just then AJ walked in, stood up and, resting her front hooves on the table, ha-hem-ed, jerking her head towards the fruit bowl.

"By the way, could we get some more apples please?"

His mother nodded and jotted it down on the list as Dudley's father glanced at him with a rather irked look which morphed into sly expression.

"I say my boy, how about a spot of toffee pudding or a trifle or two to celebrate your improved grades?"

Dudley shook his head and was about to turn down his father's request when a bobbing pink head started bouncing up and down and into view on the other side of the table.

"Could we get some cupcakes?" He asked.

His father, while not particularly keen on cupcakes, quickly snapped up the chance to bring any kind of dessert back into the house and had Petunia add it to the list.





As he watched his parents leave the driveway, Dudley could barely contain his excitement. Letting the curtain fall back into place, he made a beeline for his bedroom.

Rainbow Dash was laying on his bed, her hooves behind her head as she relaxed. She seemed uninterested as Dudley sat down at his desk and prepared to login to his computer. Before he could do so, there was a loud 'ah-hem' from the doorway.

"What?"

"You promised yer mother you'd clean up yer room."

"I'd get to it."

"As ah live and breath, ya'll are alike as two peas in a pod."

Dudley wasn't too familiar with AJ's country-isms but he was relatively positive that 'ya'll' referred to multiple people.

"Huh?" He asked, turning to look at her.

"Applebloom. She says practically the same thing."

"Uh-huh," mumbled Dudley, trying to focus on his computer as he input his password. Behind him, out of sight but not out of mind, he could feel AJ frowning at him.

"She'd say, 'But Applejack why do I have ta do it now? My gettin' goin's barely got started.'."

Dudley opened up Youtube.

"And I'd say 'Well, you should get to work and get it done, before the gettin' goin' get's good.'."

And with that, Dudley stopped what he was doing as AJ broke into song.

"Keepin' busy is keepin' good,
keep on goin', just like ya should.
Call me crazy, misunderstood,
but you won't here me complain...
'Cause you got time to spare,
fun to share,
Yer not alone,
a job, well-done 'fore yer parents get hoooome."

Sighing, Dudley got up and started cleaning his room. He had to admit it wasn't that difficult with AJ singing along, although he was a little sad when the music video ended and he still had to finish the job. Still, for a brief moment, he could almost believe AJ was singing along.

It's times like these when I wish they really were real, he thought to himself.

"We're as real as you need us to be, or somethin'," said Rainbow, still lounging on his bed. Dudley rolled his eyes.

Before too long, he was done. Even he had to admit the room did look better without all the clutter.

"Now, how about some studying?" Said Twilight.

"Woah, cut the dude some slack Twi," said Rainbow, "His parents aren't gonna be back for a while. Why don't we chillax a little first."

"I'm with her," said Dudley before Applejack could say anything, and he sat down at his computer.

He browsed Equestria Daily, adding some more artwork to his computer background, watched some PMVs and read a few crack-fics. After an hour or so he leaned back in his chair and stretched. As he did so he became aware of a gentle 'pad-pad-pad-pad-pad-' and looked to his right to see a perturbed Twilight tapping the floor with her hoof.

"We really don't have time for this-" she started.

"I've got plenty of time," replied Dudley, "After all, you're just a figment of my overactive noodle, yah uptight snoodle."

Twilight's eyes widened in shock and then narrowed to twin slits of terrifying rage.

"Pinkie get me a mysterious stick that you can talk to and I can poke him with."

Next thing he knew, Dudley was being furiously prodded in the side with the blunt end of his Smeltings stick as Pinkie cheered on 'sticky' and Twilight muttered under her breath about the outrageous nature of Dudley's slight slight.

Dudley let Twilight prod him for a good 20-30 seconds before he gave in, under the condition that he could listen to whatever he wanted to on the computer while he worked the practice problems. Twilight was reluctance until he pointed out he was imagining her in the first place and could always take her stick away. Pinkie implored Twilight to "think of sticky's children!" and Twilight gave in and set 'sticky' back on the windowsill where Dudley had left it.

After reviewing the chapter, Dudley grabbed some scratch paper, opened the text book to the practice problems section and started browsing Youtube for something to listen to.

His gaze wandered the page until he found an audio reading of a fanfiction he'd heard good things about.


Anthropology: The Audio Drama






As the story progressed further, and Lyra began to piece together the history of humankind, Dudley found himself staring for long periods of time at the same equation, lost in the story rather than the math. He was soon just as invested in Lyra's obsession as she was, and was paying the story too much attention to bother about studying.

As Dudley continued to listen he could hear the loo calling him, but he tried to ignore it. Physical needs be darned, Lyra was making progress and the story was getting better!

As the truth of Lyra's past began to come out, Dudley shifted in his chair. The excitement of surprise discoveries sent shivers up his spine.

At last, he gave in. He paused the video and hopped out of his chair to make a quick dash to the restroom.

Relieved himself at mach speed, he could hear the front door open and his family stumble in, berating Harry all the way. Dudley wasn't sure how long they'd been gone, or how long he'd been listening to the story for that matter, but looking out the window he guessed that it was some time in the evening, approaching supper-time.

He could hear his mother coming up the stairs and open the door to his room to check on his progress. The inward glow of satisfaction from a job well done was echoed in his mother's exclamation, and he felt rather taller than he actually was.

Then an awful thought occurred to him. He had swapped tabs to a non-pony subject... Hadn't he?!

Dudley could feel the icy cold grip of fear as his stomach dropped out from under him and the house became deathly quiet.

He sat there praying that, any moment, his mother would knock on the door and call out that dinner was ready and he should come downstairs. But all he could hear was silence.

Dudley's imagination started drumming up situations for when he would exit the bathroom.

His parents had pulled up his browser history and... No. His parents didn't know the first thing about computers. Well, his mother had seen the video he was watching and decided to close the browser... to reveal his desktop and the plethora of pleasing pastel pony paintings plastered there.

Dudley washed his hands and opened the door to the peer cautiously into the second floor hallway. The house wasn't as silent as he had thought. He could hear his parents downstairs, discussing something in a hushed manner.

Opening the door to his bedroom he took a quick peek at his computer and his heart stopped as he beheld the background artwork of his desktop. He had never been so horrified to see Rainbow's grinning face looking back at him. They'd seen his computer!

Dudley didn't know what was next, but he knew that his worst fear had come true. Maybe he could just stay upstairs and ignore the whole-

Harry was talking! His parents must have pressured him into spilling the beans.

As terrified to consider the repercussions and accusations he was about to face, as he was wont  to remain exactly where he was standing, Dudley couldn't stand the thought of his parents forming their own private, incorrect assumptions about his hobby.

Rainbow slipped out of his room and sauntered down the stairs towards the voices. Her calm air, gave Dudley the confidence to follow.

His parents were talking in the kitchen. He could see Harry sitting in a chair at the kitchen table, his head was bowed just enough that Dudley's parents weren't paying attention to him, but Dudley could see Harry's eyes flicking between the unseen parents. Then Harry's gaze turned towards Dudley and he realized that his presence was no longer unknown.

The talking had stopped.





His parents stood on the opposite side of the kitchen island, staring at him almost like he was a stranger to their house. Dudley's mother wore a worried expression, while his father's face had a more dour and distrustful look.

His mother spoke first, "Duddy deary... would you like to sit down? I could make you something to eat..."

Vernon gave Harry a swift jerk of the head and a rather dismissive grunt to clear out. Strangely enough, as Harry left the room, Dudley would almost rather he stayed.

Beside him, Rainbow set her hooves and stared, unwavering, at his two parents. Dudley crossed his arms and planted his feet, a series of explanations, accusations and excuses flying through his mind.

I know what you saw! So what? It's a kid's show.
What's with the Spanish Inquisition? Am I in trouble? You know there's plenty worse stuff I could have been looking at.
You got a problem with my choice of entertainment? Too bad. It's an incredible show, not that you'll ever know.
I'm sorry Mom and Dad, but it's a great show. The stories are awesome, the community's fantastic, and I'm not deserting the herd!

But what came out of his mouth was, "What is it?"

Dudley's mother took the lead, "Duddy, I know you've been... different, lately. But, I was just in your room-"

"It's clean isn't it?" Dudley asked, hoping to smooth things out even the tiniest.

"Yes dear, you did a wonderful job. But it looked to me like you were watching something strange on your computer, and when I closed the video player your computer had an... even stranger picture on it. It didn't seem to fit you at all dear."

"When your mother came downstairs we got Harry to tell us what he knows. You've apparently been watching this drivel for some time now," Cut in Vernon, his arms crossed.

"Excuse me Dad, but I don't insult your interests for no reason," said Dudley, furrowing his brow, "Besides, it's just a cartoon TV show I watch every now and then."

"It's for little girls!"

"It's all-age appropriate. Is there a problem with that?"

"Of course not deary," said his mother, trying to bring some air of calm back into the discussion, "You can watch whatever you want. But why not have something a bit more... appropriate on your computer?"

"What would you consider appropriate?"

Dudley watched as his mother tried to describe his past interests.

"What about those war games you used to play with your friends? You used to really like those."

He thought back to those late nights with his friends online, camping near spawn points with an RPG and squatting on the corpses afterwards, while a sea of profanity flowed freely in one ear and out the other. He could also remember how his mother fought to get his attention. She'd try to get him to finish his homework, clean up his room or just come downstairs for dinner.

"You didn't."

His mother didn't know what to say to that, which unfortunately gave Vernon the opportunity to enter the ring.

"No son of mine is going to be watching cartoon shows about baby horse girl toy nonsense!"

"Why?"

"It's not proper, good heavens my boy, it's practically... unnatural."

Vernon was blustering furiously now and, at the mention of the extra-natural quality of the situation, Petunia shuddered.

"What's unnatural about watching a television show? You do it all the time."

"It's what you're watching," said his mother, taking hold of Vernon's arm to keep him in check, "Boys your age don't watch shows like that."

"Actually Mom, that's exactly who is watching it. About 80% of the audience are guys just like me."

"What makes you so sure?" asked his mother.

"The census data they compiled."

"I don't care how much abnormal data you come up with," said Vernon, his face flushed, "Dursleys are normal people. We don't go sticking our noses in strange things we don't understand. We know our place!"

Perhaps in order to placate Petunia, Vernon adopted a forced smile and held up a bag of groceries, "We picked up some sweets from the shop. What do you say we open them up and catch the game tonight? Just the two of us."

Dudley felt like was being pulled in different directions. Part of him wanted to go back upstairs and finished Anthropology. Part of him was bouncing up and down in the kitchen with excitement over the cupcakes, and part of him wanted to just nod and keep the whole thing a secret. While yet another part of him wanted to sit here and hammer it out with his parents till they accepted ponies.

At last he decided that he wasn't really that hungry and just wanted his parents to leave him alone and finish the story. However, when he told his father he wasn't interested in watching the game, his father's face seemed to cave in, and the unhappy smile returned to its previous grimace.

"Stupid shows like that will ruin you. Nothing good'll come out of that, you hear, nothing good."

At last Dudley had had it, "You know what Dad, those ponies have taught me more than you ever have. They showed me being kind can be cool, generosity builds happiness and, honestly, friendship really is magic!"

At the mention of magic Petunia nearly had a fit. Her polite, doting demeanor vanished as she recoiled from the hated word and stared, eyes wide in terror, at her son.

Vernon had changed from a bright red to a darker shade of magenta and seemed to be having trouble breathing.

"DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT WORD IN THIS HOUSE!" He yelled at Dudley, "There's no such thing as magic!"

Dudley watched his father hug Petunia, sans the comforting attitude, as if to deny Dudley had just spoken a taboo word in the Dursley home; a home where perfectly normal, ordinary, not-in-the-least-bit strange people didn't use words like 'magic'.

Dudley should have apologized, he knew it was the right thing to do. But some part of him, left-over from before, was enjoying making his parents uncomfortable... Which was why he opened his mouth.

"Just because of Harry?! I don't care who or what he is, or what he can do. I've found a show that has a magic of its own, and now I don't have to be afraid of him anymore. He's no more dangerous than a pegasus or unicorn-"

Dudley had gone too far. His father stomped out of the kitchen and towards the stairs. Dudley, suddenly gripped with fear, dashed after him, leaving his mother sobbing in the kitchen.

From his room, Dudley heard the sounds of his father ripping his computer cord out of the wall and saw him step out carrying his tower and monitor under both arms.

"THOSE ARE MINE!" He yelled.

"Wrong my boy!" Said Vernon, shaking his head and glaring at Dudley, "This is my house and my computer. And until you learn that and apologize to your mother, these stay with me!"

Dudley reached for his computer, but froze as his father raised the monitor over his head, threatening to smash it.

"YOU'RE GROUNDED! Now get in your room and stay there until we let you know otherwise."





Dudley lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. The silence of the room contrasted with the bickering he could hear coming from his parents' bedroom. Petunia seemed too shell shocked at what had occurred to stand up for Dudley and so Vernon had taken the lead in punishing him and had confiscated his phone as well.

His father had locked his computer in the shed and then decided, with his mother, that Dudley should go without dinner. His stomach had just grown quiet in the last hour or so and now he was thinking.

Dudley knew he had made a mistake. Even though he disagreed with his parents about the show, he knew that throwing it in their faces like that wasn't helping anyone. Still the cold hard part of him left over from his youth kept him set in his decision and he didn't budge from the bed.

Still, the fact of his wrongness, wouldn't let him rest and kept buzzing through his head like a mosquito, until there was a gentle knock on the door frame to his room.

Dudley turned his head to see Harry standing in the doorway.

"What?!" He spat. The fact his thoughts wouldn't leave him alone unconsciously imparting a sharp tone to his voice.

Harry set a Tupperware bowl and a bottle of water by the door and turned to leave.

"Wait Potter," said Dudley, sitting up in bed, "Thanks."

Harry returned Dudley's thanks with a simple nod of his head.

"Harry? I'm bored." Dudley looked at where his computer used to be, and then back to Harry. As his gaze met Harry's, he remembered Harry didn't have a computer, or much of anything, "How do you... What do you do when you're bored?"

Harry looked at the ground for a moment then back at Dudley.

"You get used to it."

Harry had barely left when Dudley got up to get the food. As he stood with the bowl of shepherd's pie in his hands he glanced to his right and saw his mother staring at him from the her room, the door halfway closed. She had a look on her face which Dudley couldn't quite read, it seemed to be a quarter-ways between sad, confused, angry and thoughtful all at once.

But as she closed the door, Dudley decided she didn't seem angry at Harry for bringing the food.

A gentle flame flickered to life inside of him, threatening to melt that last layer of resentment he was harboring. But before he could squash it, he felt a pair of a yellow wings brush up against his leg as Fluttershy leaned against him and another part of Dudley caught fire and burned away to reveal something new, magic and better than before.

I'll apologize tomorrow, he said to himself as he shut the door.
> Chapter 4: In Which Dudley Branches Out
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Chapter 4: In Which Dudley Branches Out


It had been several weeks now and Dudley still didn't have his computer, despite his apology the following morning. While his mother seemed to take his apology to heart, his father was still unconvinced with Dudley's sudden repentance and highly suspicious of his motives.

His excuses that he needed it for his homework had fallen on deaf ears and he was reduced to rereading his text books and asking for help from his fellow students and teachers. Twilight's lessons in studiousness were paying back serious dividends now, though he preferred to keep this to himself.

"A week or so should knock some sense into that boy's head," he could remember his father saying, as Petunia cleaned up after supper, "I always thought there was something unhealthy about this internet-thing. I see it's uses mind you, but if we're not careful this next generation will get so they never want to leave the house. Moderation in all things, I say."

"Of course dear," Petunia had replied, halfheartedly.

The clock on the nightstand ticked away, contrasting the silence of his room as Dudley lay in bed. Dinner had also been a quiet affair, despite Vernon's attempts at starting a conversation. Dudley felt a distinct lack of interest which seemed to permeate his waking life now, and his father had given up cajoling after his attempts had been answered with single-syllable replies. Vernon informed Petunia everything was going well at Grunnings and, aside from some snide remarks that Harry was chewing too loudly, they finished their meal in silence.

Pinkie hopped up on his bed and laid her head on his chest like a friendly pet. He could imagine her fur smoothing out against his shirt as she sighed.

Several moments passed and Dudley looked over at his clock to see how much more time he had left before he would be going to bed... (not that he wanted to)

8:56, another hour or two and-

"I'm boooorreed," moaned the pink mass of curls, her voice rumbling through his diaphragm, "Let's do something!"

"There's nothing to do," replied Dudley, his gaze returning to the ceiling.

"Sure there is silly. You could sing a song, or do a silly dance. You could climb a tree or bake a cake, anything besides lying here and being a borifically boring boredy-pants. Think what a snorefest of a fanfiction that would be to read."

"Or write," added Dudley.

"Exactly! See, I knew you could come up with something."

"That's not what I meant. Besides I couldn't write a fanfiction. That requires imagination and stuff."

Suddenly, Dudley found himself nose-to-nose with the pink mare, her blue eyes burning twin holes into his soul and her barrel heaving hot breath into his face.

"Say that to me again," she said, her voice low and threatening, "I dare you..."

Dudley couldn't have, even if he'd wanted to, so he chose instead to reply, "Besides... I don't have my computer."

"I write with my mouth!" Said Pinkie, sitting up, a pencil balanced on her nose. Her beaming smile had returned and it was like the scare of a few seconds ago had never happened.

"You don't have to write a whole story, you could just come up with an idea, or a poem, or a song or draw a picture or make a card or-"

"Fine, if I draw a picture, will you leave me alone?"

Pinkie cocked her head at him and raised an eyebrow, "You really want me to leave you... all alone?"

Dudley realized he'd painted himself into a corner and chose not to answer her question.

"It's either that or you spend the rest of the evening talking to yourself."

"You mean, talking to you," he said, bobbing his head as he stood up from his bed.

"Exactly!"

Dudley sat at his desk, turned the lamp on, picked up a piece of paper and pencil and stared at the sheet which looked as empty as his brain felt. The blank white sheet just sat there, an intractable brick wall.

A minute passed and Dudley still hadn't touched it. He could feel his scalp through his hair as he rested his forehead on his hand and scratched his head. The 'tap-tapping' of his pencil on the table and a soft whooshing sound behind him were the only noises in his room.

Halting his tapping, Dudley glanced to his left and saw Pinkie, her tail whooshing back and forth on the carpeted floor like a puppy. When she saw he was looking at her she tilted her head to one side and smiled.

Dudley returned to his paper before something dawned on him.

If I can imagine her there whey can't I imagine her here on the paper?

Turning in his chair so that he could see her better while maintaining a working surface, Dudley told her not to move and she froze in that exact position. Graphite began working its way onto the paper, but Dudley was too fixated on the image to notice the texture against his fingers.

Dudley started by tracing her outline and then filling in some important parts like her eyes, nose and mouth. Then he began adding details like her ears, the curls in her hear and overlapping edges like where her legs bunched up, sitting down.

After he'd gotten the centers of her eyes filled in, he pulled out a drawer and dug around for the right colors to finish his piece of art. As he colored in his drawing he could feel excitement welling up in him and in no time whatsoever he was looking at a simple picture he'd drawn of Pinkie Pie, a few tufts of carpeting the only other reference point on the sheet.

It was by no means as good as the pictures he used to have on his screensaver, but he had to admit it was much better than what he'd thought he could have accomplished. The pride of his accomplishment filled him up and a smile spread across his face.

Lifting up his paper he knew he'd gotten Pinkie's attention and could imagine her slowly extending her head up over his shoulder, like a possessed giraffe, to get a better look.

With a jerk of his head, he could see her sitting exactly as before, the long-necked image in his mind the pure speculation of imagination...

As he went to put it in his drawer, underneath everything so only he knew where it was, he suddenly got the urge to show it to someone.

But I don't know anyone I could- Then he remembered Sara from school. Since his parents had taken his devices he'd been too busy sulking and studying to talk to her. But now that he had something to show her, he felt a little of the enthusiasm from before returning. Folding up the picture, he tucked it into his backpack and looked at the clock on his nightstand.

Looks like I'll be tired at school again, he thought, yawning. I've missed that.





Dudley waited till none of his old friends were around before approaching Sara. No one at school knew they'd talked before and he wanted to keep it that way.

"Hey," he said, setting his backpack on the ground, "Sorry I haven't been able to talk for a while."

"That's OK. You were busy."

"My parents took my computer away 'cause they found out what I was doing with my free time."

"Ponies?"

Dudley nodded.

"Sorry to hear that," said Sara, her smile fading, "What are you planning to do?"

"Right now I'm just kind of riding things out. But I have something I wanted to show you. Do you mind?"

Sara shrugged and Dudley pulled the folded slip of paper out of his pack and handed it to her.

"Not bad," she said, unfolding it. "Did you draw this from memory?"

"Kinda. I imagined she was sitting in my room and this is how it turned out."

"You've got some imagination," she handed the paper back to him, "I can imagine things in my head, but not as clearly as that. That's why I stick with fanfics."

"You didn't tell me you wrote fanfiction," he said tucking the picture away, "If I had my computer I'd offer to check them out. By the way I checked out the story you mentioned before, Anthropology. I finished listening to it in the library after my parents confiscated my PC."

"What did you think?"

"Even better than the song! Wish I could catch the rest of the episodes or talk to someone like you about ponies, but my parents are stuck in their ways... I guess I was too before I got into Ponies."

Sara gave him a strange look and then grinned.

"Is that so? You know, my parents are leaving my brother and I home next weekend and I suggested we should get together some friends and have a sort of 'mini-convention' before he leaves for his next tour of duty. You're welcome to come, if you want."

Dudley backed up and did a quick glance around to check if anyone was watching, "Anyone from this school?"

Sara shook her head, "Just people we know online, or that we've met at other conventions and a few friends my brother's made while overseas. We're probably just gonna watch a few episodes, play some board games, video games and eat pizza. Nothing that big."

"My father won't let me go."

"What about your mother?"

Dudley shook his head and shouldered his bag, "It sounds cool. I really wish I could go, sorry. I'll let you know when I get my computer back. See ya later." With a slight wave he left her standing there, a thoughtful look on her face.





The library was silent except for the drumming of his fingers on the computer mouse.

He'd finished his studying and was staring at the home page of the site where he used to catch all the My Little Pony episodes, before his parents' found out. The search bar was empty and he was debating watching the latest episode.

Leaning back in his chair he scanned the library for the umpteenth time. Aside from the librarian behind the desk, another re-shelving books and a handful of browsing patrons the library really was his best option for scratching that itch. But he was still nervous.

What if one of my old friends walks in? What if they all do? What if the librarian sees me?

In his mind's eye, Dudley could see his classmates filing into the library. Some were studying, some goofing off, others browsing and his old friends were making life difficult for everyone.

As he watched, everything seemed to go out of focus for a second, and then he and everyone in the library were standing in the middle of Canterlot, the spires of the royal castle rising towards the sky behind them and multicolored ponies stared in shock at the unexpected, alien visitors.

Several people started freaking out while the librarians tried to regain order and younger children began hugging the parents and crying. However, Dudley's vision was trained on his brash old friends, who seemed unfazed and disbelieving of their change in location.

The largest walked up to a nearby produce stand and picked up a piece of the owner's wares, squeezing until all that was left was a mess of green mush.

"Umm, are you... uh going to pay for that?" asked the merchant pony, nervously.

"It talked-" said another of his friends, while most of the other people from the library focused on it like it was was a talking pink and beige pony... which it was.

"You see that too?" said the first kid, dropping the mangled vegetable and hiking a second towards the others, "I don't know what we're smoking, but this is weird guys."

"My cabbages!" shouted the storekeeper as another of Dudley's old friends caught it, felt it and passed it to the next.

"Look at this," said the first, spreading one of the wings of the pony and laughing, "Look's like what my little sister would draw if she were a sissy!"

Out of the corner of his eye Dudley could see two royal guards, a pegasus and a unicorn, making their way towards the group. The kids hadn't noticed them yet, despite several ponies stepping aside to make way for the armored figures. Dudley wasn't sure how much of a difference they would make, they were still only about half the size of the boys.

"Excuse me," said the pegasus guard, drawing to a halt before the lead kid and looking up, his helmet tilting back, "Is there a problem?"

Lifting the guard's helmet by the blue plume, the young man laughed and, ignoring the guards, continued talking to his friends.

"Check it out guys, we've got ourselves some 'tough guys'."

Dudley watched as the eyes of the pegasus guard flicked to the unicorn and he gave a quick nod of his head. With that, the three young men were engulfed in floating light-blue orbs. The helmet dropped out of the first kid's hands and the pegasus scooped it up with one wing and placed it back on his head. Then his gaze turned towards Dudley and the rest of the humans.

The clink of armor rattling drew Dudley's attention to the squad of soldiers that had surrounded the group and were now moving forward, herding the humans into one big group.

Dudley could see little kids huddled with their parents in the center as several librarians tried to form a semi-protective barrier around the families.

"We come in peace," said Dudley, his hands raised as he took one step towards the pegasus guard who appeared to be in charge.

The guard raised a wing and the squad froze, as his gaze fixed on Dudley. Dudley felt equal parts terrified as well as ecstatic that he was being stared down by an actual, living pony.

"And them?" asked the guard, jerking his head towards the hushed hovering hoodlums.

"Bad eggs," replied Dudley, choosing to ignore the angry glares from his previous classmates, "Every school has a few."

The guard dropped his wing and stepped forward, "Do you promise to cause no further harm and take them with you when you return from whence you came?"

"Uh, yeah and ... no. I'm afraid we don't know how we got here."

"My guess would be magic... sir," cut in the unicorn guard, the glow from his horn never wavering as he focused on the incapacitated miscreants.

"Don't think so," replied Dudley, looking back  at the group of assorted humans who had been with him in the library when this all started, "None of us know how to use magic."

He left out that he did know at least one magic user because, despite not knowing if it were possible, he couldn't really see Harry sending an entire library of people to another universe. Possible, maybe, but highly unlikely.

"Then how did you all get here?" asked the pegasus, taking command of the conversation again.

Dudley wasn't sure he wanted to reveal just how much he knew about Equestria just yet, so he made sure to take an exaggerated look at the floating blue orbs before replying, "Uhhh... something on your end?"

Suddenly, every unicorn guard's eyes froze as their horns lit up. The group of humans let out an muted gasp of fright which died out as they saw nothing was happening. Then the unicorn holding the three rambunctious teens turned to his superior and said, "Message from her highness. There's been some sort of magical accident, and she wishes to know if we've seen anything... anomalous."

The pegasus, who was looking at the unicorn, turned back to Dudley and raised an eyebrow. Dudley couldn't help but give a halfhearted 'ta-da' gesture and smile.

The guard sighed and, dismissing the rest of the squad except for the unicorn, started towards the castle, "Follow us."

Dudley started after them then, turning to look at the rest of the group, he saw that they were still huddled like the frightened bunnies from AJ's failed herding attempt. As the ponies around them returned to their normal routines, confident that the princesses had the 'anomalies' under control, the clumped together humans continued glancing every which way in borderline panic.

Not knowing what else to do, he beckoned for them to follow him and continued after the guard, a little in awe that he now had the authority to lead such a large group of people.

As they continued up the steps and through the castle door he imagined they were only slightly less awed than he was. The marble floors and flowing tapestries were even more magnificent in real life. Every set of guards that they passed by came to attention, straitening their spears to the horror of Dudley's entourage.

Looking behind him, Dudley saw (what appeared to be) a hundred-legged mass of frantic eyes and entwined arms as the knot of people clung to each other and hurried after him.

Not looking where he was going, Dudley's head bumped against one of the floating bubbles as the guards in front of him came to a stop before a set of huge doors.

"Wait here," said the pegasus, and he stepped into the throne room beyond.

While waiting to be shown in, Dudley gave a small smile to the remaining guard. The younger unicorn glanced at him with a confused look, before exchanging an equally quick smile.

A second or two of silence hung in the air, until the doors swung open and the pegasus stepped aside to let them approach the princesses. Dudley was surprised and delighted to see all four princesses and Discord, standing before the thrones.

Discord rubbed his neck and polished a small portion of the marble floor with the tuft of his tail before interjecting, "Oh come on! Like you've never sneezed magic before? I'm a living embodiment of chaos. Accidents are a statistical certainty in my case."

"We understand Discord," said Celestia, adopting a placating manner, to perhaps ease the humans' fears as much as the draconequus's, "Can you return them to where they came from?"

"Better than that. How about I help them forget any of this ever happened?"

"Wait!" Interjected Dudley, "You can send them home, but I want to say something."

The princesses and Discord looked at him expectantly as silence fell in the throne room and Dudley realized they were waiting for him to speak before sending anyone home.

He could hear the shuffling of feet behind him and hear the muted whispering as people started muttering about him. Then he looked up at the thrones and his eyes met Twilight as he made up his mind.

"You brought us all here against our will, and while I don't know about everyone else," he gestured to the people behind him, "I don't want to forget any of this, and I'd like to stay a little longer so I could get to know more about you."

"Excuse me?" said Celestia, as Dudley felt the eyes of everyone behind him like the hot rays from the sun on the back of his neck.

"You see," he continued, "I'm... a fan you ponies."

"Excuse me!"

"And Discord too," said Dudley, raising a hand and nodding to Discord with his eyes closed.

"Excuse me, sir? Other people may wish to use the computer."

"Huh?" Dudley opened his eyes and looked up to see one of the librarians tapping the blank computer monitor he had been sitting at for some time.

"If you aren't going to use it, I'd suggest you leave this station open so other patrons may use it."





Later, as Dudley sat with his textbook open, staring at the ceiling, he pondered the imaginary scenario. Would it really be worth everyone finding out about ponies, if I could get to see them for real even once? What would be worth everyone finding out about my interest in MLP? Slowly, he began whittling down the options in his head.

1. Meeting the ponies for real? Totally worth it!
2. Meeting the voice actors? Maybe.
3. Meeting a artist or fimfic author? ... But Sara's an author... 

Dudley was beginning to realize his previous position of anonymity was crumbling beneath him. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to go to that brony party, to meet others like himself, to know and be known. But his father would never allow it... And his mother wouldn't... Would she?

His gaze dropped absently to his textbook, but his mind was back home running through different routes of persuasion. He was so fixated on figuring out some way to get to go, he didn't see Sara lead his mother into the library and point her in his direction.

He jumped as his mother rapped on the table to get his attention.

"Sorry to interrupt you dear, but you have a dentist appointment to get to."

Dudley recalled his mother telling him she would be picking him up that afternoon as he picked at his plate of scrambled eggs and bacon. He hadn't been hungry that morning and was barely paying attention. Despite the food tasting great, the bacon cooked to crunchy perfection and the eggs soft and tender, all he could focus on was showing Sara his drawing.

Packing his books into his backpack, he apologized for not being ready or meeting his mother where she'd told him to.

"You're lucky someone showed me where you were," she returned, and Dudley looked up to see Sara looking at him with a curious smile on her face.

"Glad to help Mrs. Dursley," she said. Then, just before she turned to leave, she waved at Dudley and said, "Really hope you can make it to the party next Friday."

He winced, Well there goes any chance I had of sneaking out...

As his mother walked him to the car she handed him his toothbrush and reminded him to brush when they got there. Despite a distinct lack of smiling or levity in the Dursley house, no child of Petunia Dursley would every be declared 'lacking in oral hygiene'.

He watched as the houses passed by outside his window, absentmindedly responding to his mother's questions. 

School? - Fine.
Grades? - Fine.
Party? - ... 

He blinked and turned to look at his mother, "Huh?"

"I said, why didn't you tell me that nice girl invited you to a party?"

Dudley felt his chest lock up, An opportunity had presented itself! Take it carefully, don't mention ponies., "I guess I thought you and Dad were still angry at me."

Play to the pity side.

"This doesn't involve your computer or ... that stuff. You would be hanging out with your friends and playing video games right?"

She thinks Sara's one of my old friends!

"Pretty much. We'd also probably watch some movies and eat snacks, nothing bad."

My Little Pony isn't bad. It's great!

"I think it's a positive thing to get your mind off all this nonsense. I'll talk with your father tonight and see if he can drive you there. How does that sound?"

Dudley agreed, but the pressure on his chest didn't go away. In fact, it got worse.

How am I going to hide what the party's about, if he's driving me there?!

As they pulled up to the dentist and he opened the car door, Dudley could see AJ waiting for him with a deep frown on her face.

You don't need to say anything. I know I lied. But it's so I can go hang out with some nice people who actually share my interest.

She continued to frown at him while he sat in the waiting room.

If my parents knew what the party's really about, they wouldn't let me go!

The dentist's chair was uncomfortable despite the reclined position as he continued trying to moralize his decision while waiting for the dental hygienist to return.

I can tell my parents afterwards... I can mention we might watch TV shows... I could tell them I don't know everyone who'll be there... Please just let me explain anything to them but that? Please... I really want to go.

Applejack sighed and shook her head, "Sugar cube, if ya aren't gonna tell yer parents the truth, how're ya gonna enjoy the party in the first place? Would ya rather be honest and know that you could have enjoyed it in good faith, or go under false pretenses and be miserable the whole time?"

With that the nurse came back in, picked up a probe and mirror, and Dudley opened his mouth, still thinking about AJ's words.





A pothole jostled him as they made their way home, and brought him back to the point he was trying to avoid. The pit of his stomach didn't feel queasy anymore; now there was just a calm fright for what his mother would say.

"Mom?"

"Yes, Duddy."

"I wasn't completely honest with you before... about the party."

Beside him, he could feel AJ giving him an encouraging look.

"Sara and her brother are also fans of the show, and that's kind of what this party's mostly about. That's why I knew you wouldn't let me go."

Dudley's mouth didn't taste good, but it wasn't dry or gross either. He felt... bland. Like he'd done what he needed to for once in his life, but for zero payoff.

He waited for his mother to scold him, to let him know how ashamed she was he would lie to her and go behind her back to keep watching the show. But the car was silent, and Dudley started to wonder if she'd even heard him.

What if his confession had all been in his head? I'd have to say it all over again.

"These aren't your old friends from before?"

"No. Sara's the only one I've met. I don't even know her older brother."

"Then you wouldn't be playing video games..."

"That was the truth, just not all of it. We would probably watch a few episodes, talk, play games and snack. I think she mentioned board games when she told me about it earlier."

"Your father won't allow it."

"Yeah, I know."

As they pulled into the driveway Dudley thought about what he'd just done. Applejack was right. He didn't feel happy knowing he couldn't go to the party, but it pleased him a little to know he'd done the right thing in AJ's eyes.

Unbuckling his seatbelt, he looked at his mother and said, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you to whole truth."

His mother stared straight ahead, her hands gripping the wheel as the motor continued to run. Without looking at him she asked, "Would going to this party make you happy Dudley?"

His hand froze on the door handle and, with a gulp, he nodded.

"Yes, it would."

His mother turned off the car, looked down at the keys and then glanced at him. The moment seemed to teeter on the edge of a cliff as they sat there, barely breathing. Then his mother spoke.

"If you really want to go, I'll take you. You're father won't drive you, so don't go upsetting him. I'll explain what he needs to know."

Dudley couldn't believe what he was hearing. I'm going to the party!?

An uncontrollable smile split his face and he reached out to hug his mother, but she batted his hand away and wagged a finger at him, "But I'm warning you. If anything... unnatural happens at this party or you come home and don't shut up about it, your father will have the last word."

"Got it," he said. Then he reached out again and wrapped an arm around his mother.

"Thanks Mom. This really means a lot to me."
> Chapter 5: In Which We Attend a Party and Say Goodbye (To Harry)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Chapter 5: In Which We Attend a Party and Say Goodbye (To Harry)


As they drove up to the house, Dudley could feel the nervous energy inside him, almost like a living thing. He focused on breathing and holding still, but couldn't control the smile on his face. For the first time in his life, Dudley was going to meet some people he actually cared about, despite having never met, and try to give a good first impression.

"I'll be picking you up at 9:30," said his mother, parking at the curb, "If this goes longer, too bad. If that's too short, call before 8:30 your father will be too busy with the game to get the phone."

Dudley turned to thank his mother once more, but was cut short as she shooed him out of the vehicle. "Go on. Stand up straight. And remember what I said... No funny business."

"Don't worry Mom, Harry's not here. It's just me and a bunch of other normal fans of the show."

His mother looked highly skeptical of Dudley's use of the word 'normal' but she took a breath and continued, "Go check to make sure it's the right house."

Dudley nodded and walked up to the front door. From inside he could hear the soft murmur of an almost recognizable song and a few voices. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the doorbell.

A few seconds later the door opened to reveal a young man, older than Dudley, with brown hair looking down at him with a laid back expression.

"'Sup," he said, and Dudley instantly recognized an American accent.

Confused, he gulped and said, "My friend Sara invited me to a party at this address. Is this... You know?"

Tilting his head forward the figure raised both eyebrows and replied, "Pony party? You're in the right place my man. Come in, Sara and Matt're setting up the dining room for some RP later tonight."

As he held the door open, Dudley turned and waved to his mother. As the door closed behind him, he could hear her drive off.

"Parents?" Asked the tall figure.

"My Mom," replied Dudley, glancing left and right to get a look at the house.

"Alright. First Brony meetup?"

Dudley nodded.

"Well then if you would kindly direct your attention to your party attendant Benjamin, he will give you a rundown on the necessities, facilities and capabilities of your first pony party extravaganza."

As Dudley watched, Benjamin backed up into the center of the entry hall and began gesturing like a flight attendant as he explained where everything was.

"On my left you notice two flights of stairs. Up and to your left you will locate the first of two lavatories, while downstairs you will find a dark and inviting gamer's paradise, rich with action, combat, adventure and worthy opponents. Please refrain from smoking in either of the lavatories and throughout the space-time continuum of this vessel during your stay.

"To my right you and adjacent to the dinning room, soon to play host to the most epic role playing adventures this side of backwards, you will find the living room; your go-to locale for chillaxing, friendshipping and headconnoning. We ask that you please maintain a civility rating of at least PG and forbear violence for the sake of your fellow party-goers.

"Behind me is the refreshment area, not quite Sugarcube Corner quality, but we hope that Pinkie Pie would be proud nonetheless. To the rear of the kitchen you will find the second lavatory and access to the garage which, I'm sorry to inform you, is off limits. Now please keep your arms and legs inside the residence until the party has come to a full and complete stop and we hope you enjoy your stay with-"

"Are you trying to break your neck?!" Called out Sara's voice from the direction of the dining room.

Benjamin cut off his presentation and, turning to face the kitchen, "What's he doing now?"

"He's putting up the clock."

"Yeah?..."

"With a swivel-chair!"

"I'll hold him steady!" Said Benjamin as he jogged into the kitchen.

"Oh no you don't! I'll hold him steady. You talk some sense to him. He listens to you."

Left alone, Dudley looked at the basement for a moment before stepping into the living room where two girls were listening to a red headed fellow playing Proud to be a Brony on the guitar.

The living room was occupied by two couches facing a flat screen television in the corner farthest from both doorways. A set of folding chairs lay against one wall and a recliner, the guitarist was currently using, was positioned in the left corner of the room, nearest the front door. The girl sitting on the couch, looked up and greeted Dudley with a pleasant smile and a, "Hi." She had long blonde hair and was quite striking with high cheekbones and an attentive expression. Dudley returned her smile and greeting but continued to look around.

The other girl was sitting against the far wall and, aside from also having long hair, was almost completely opposite the first. From beneath her dark hair he saw her cast him a quick look before returning to her furtive appreciation of the guitarist.

In the other room he could see Benjamin and another slightly taller, well built guy with blonde hair, trying to hang a wall clock over the window while Sara watched from the other side of the dining table.

"Remind me why she can't just use a digital watch or something," asked Ben as the second person, balanced calmly on the chair, adjusted the timepiece to Sara's directions.

"Because she can't judge how much time she has left without the hands as a reference," said the guy on the chair.

"I can too!" Shot back Sara, "It's just faster without the constant mental calculations. About an inch lower and that's it. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go find my adventures."

Getting up from her chair, Sara turned to see Dudley and smiled.

"Hey! Glad to see you could make it, I had a feeling your mother would be a little easier to convince than your father. Heather?"

The blonde-haired girl turned around and, hanging her arms over the back of the couch, looked at the two of them, "Yeah?"

"This is Dudley, that friend I told you might be coming. Could you introduce yourselves? I've got to find my story notes." With that Sara bolted out of the room and Dudley heard her go up the stairs and slam a door.

"I thought she said they were in her room," said Heather in the direction of the dining room.

"You haven't seen her room," answered Ben's friend in a deep voice, easing off the swivel chair.

The girl rolled her eyes, blew a strand of hair out of her face and extended a hand to Dudley with the same beaming smile from before, "Hi Dudley, I'm Heather."

Shaking her hand, Dudley listened as she introduced him to everyone else.

"The fancy guitarist is Terry," Terry continued playing but gave him a smile and a nod, "This is Grace," Heather indicated the petite girl against the wall with the dark hair who gave Dudley a wave, "And those two rapscallions in there are Benjamin the Bold and Sara's brother Matthew. Or, as I've chosen to call him, 'sir not appearing in this piece'."

"Not everyone has to be interested in role play," said Ben, stepping into the living room, "I'd like to see you match Matt in a game of Smash Bros."

"I could probably take him," she returned, smirking.

"You do- You need- you need help? I can help-" said another higher-pitched voice and Dudley turned to see a heavyset figure, standing up from a chair in the corner of the dining room as Matthew cleared some chairs from his side of the table. Though the young man was wearing glasses, he was looking at the floor rather than Benjamin or Matthew.

"It's OK," said Benjamin, turning to help, "I've got it."

"Could you move the two chairs out of his way?" asked Matthew, unfolding one side of the tablecloth and handing it to Ben.

The large fellow eagerly pulled the chairs out of the dining room, into the living room and right up to the back of one of the two couches where he stopped and proceeded to alternate between staring at one side of the room and then the other.

"And this is Oliver," said Heather, patting the edge of the couch where he was standing without touching him, "He's the resident headcanon expert."

"Pinkie's party cannon wasn't canon until episode 35. Now her cannon is canon."

Heather smiled and watched as Matt and Ben finished setting up the dining room table.

As Dudley watched Oliver he noticed that, despite his unfocused look, he was rocking his head back and forth in time with the music and didn't seem that uncomfortable around everyone. Oliver wasn't fat, but his harmless demeanor matched more with the gentle pegasus on his shirt than the frame that filled it out.

"So Oliver, how'd you get into the show?" Asked Dudley, "I mean, what attracted you to-"

"Watched- Watch an episode. She said- Watch an episode."

"His sitter got him into the show when-"

"I watched an episode- episode- watched episodes. Mom didn't- she didn't like it. But I said the ponies make me... happy and I wanted to go- go to a meetup..."

"So this is your first?" Asked Dudley, a little shocked Oliver was so calm.

"Seven- Seventeen."

"Oliver's old hat at this," said Heather, "He's almost been to more meetups than all of us put together."

"I like meeting people. We- we talk about ponies."

Oliver was rocking back and forth more rapidly now, but with a big smile on his face.

"Who's you-"

"I like making new friends."

Dudley was beginning to like Oliver, so he tried again, "Who's your favorite pony?" He was expecting Twilight or maybe Pinkie Pie, from how friendly Oliver was.

"Derpy."

Dudley froze, suddenly aware he might have just stepped on a landmine. Then he noticed out of the corner of his eye that Heather was smiling at him.

"Tell him why, Oliver."

"Because Derpy likes making new friends too. She's not like all the other ponies, but she's still... really friendly," Oliver's rocking had slowed, almost like he was trying to regain balance.

"My mom says I'm not like... other people, but I don't want to stop being friendly," his head stopped rocking and turned slightly towards Dudley.

"I like Derpy... because she doesn't let being different- doesn't let it keep her from doing what- what she wants to do," at this, he lifted his head up and stared in Dudley's direction. His eyes were flicking every which way, but for a few short moments they hovered on Dudley's face before his gaze dropped back down to the carpet.

Dudley let out a breath, he hadn't even realized he'd been holding, and felt a shiver go down his spine. Oliver had returned to his rocking and didn't seem interested in continuing the conversation so Dudley turned to the rest of them.

"And how did you guys get into the show?"

"I found some remixes online and decided to check it out," said Terry, finger-picking a new song.

"I followed the show when it first came out," said Heather, "I used to watch the previous generations when I would babysit, and decided to see where it was going now. After the first few episodes, I was hooked. I don't do anymore babysitting these days, but when I found there was also a pretty big roleplaying side of the fandom I started looking around and got into a few groups. That's how I found this meetup; it's my second."

Dudley was a little confused about what Heather meant by 'roleplaying' but decided to ask Sara about it later as they waited for Grace to tell her story.

Grace was a little nervous, but started into her story once she realized there was only one way for her out of being the center of attention.

"My story's not that different from Terry's. I saw some people posting online and got curious."

"That's it?" Asked Dudley.

"I said it wasn't that interesting."

"Actually you said it wasn't that different from my story," cut in Terry, "So you're saying my story wasn't that interesting."

"No, that's not what I meant."

"We know. Relax, Terry was just being a dork," said Heather, giving Terry a fake hard stare.

Grace blushed as Terry proceeded to play the wah-wah sound effect on his guitar.

Just then Dudley heard Sara call, "I got my stuff. Heather could you help me set it up?" and she came jogging into the living room.

As Heather got up to help, Dudley decided to check out the what the food was like.

The kitchen was about the same size as his parents', with an island in the middle and the sink, stove and refrigerator along the wall facing away from the front of the house. The island was filled with all kinds of edibles from a box of pizza to some vegetables & dip and even some homemade cupcakes.

As he got closer, he could see that every one of the cupcakes had one of the mane sixs' cutie marks drawn on them in frosting and were lined up in six rows of six columns with a slip of paper saying, "Please take your favorite pony's and only one from this end."

He could see someone had already taken a Twilight, Rarity and Applejack from the appropriate end revealing part of a chart below.

"If you want data. Bribe 'em with food first," said someone and Dudley looked up to see Ben come in, "By the time the party's over, I'll know who everyone thinks is best pony."

"Cool idea," replied Dudley, "Did you make these?"

"Eeyup," he replied, then in a more subdued tone, "You OK man? You seem a little confused."

Ben's straightforwardness was a little off-putting, but his laid back attitude kept Dudley at ease. What he had wanted to ask Sara earlier, he now decided to ask Ben.

"What's this 'roleplaying' everyone keeps mentioning?"

"You know D&D?"

Dudley gave him a blank stare.

"Dungeons and Dragons?"

"My parents were never too keen on that game," Dudley replied, "They're not... big fans of magic."

"You can play non-magical characters. The storytelling, adventuring and character-building is what interests most people."

"It's the idea of magic they disapprove of. My parents don't really like anything they consider 'make-believe'."

"Sorry to hear that."

"It's not your fault. It's mostly theirs... although my nephew sure hasn't help."

"Your nephew?"

"Yeah, Harry's been living with us ever since his parents died in a- car accident. He's..." Dudley pondered how to explain real magic without sounding like a nut, "Really interested in that stuff, and it kind of creeps my parents out."

"Both his parents died in a car accident?" Ben sounded a little confused, "What did you say his name was again?"

"Harry," when Ben continued to stare at him, he added, "Potter."

Ben's laid back attitude vanished as his gaze focused on Dudley for a second before scanning around the room to make sure no one was watching. Then he leaned forward and said in a hushed voice, "The Harry Potter? The Boy Who Lived?"

Dudley felt his stomach do a backflip as Harry's world invaded his fandom.

"How do you know him?"

Ben leaned back against the kitchen island and blew a silent breath before he answered Dudley's question, "So you probably thought I was just an American Brony in London, right? Well, turns out I'm actually an American Brony Wizard in London."

"But I thought you people don't use our uh- "Muggle" technology. How'd you... you know?"

Ben shot him a slightly confused glance for a second, "Muggle? Oh, No-Maj. No-magic. Well that's an interesting story. You see my brother-"

He stopped as an dark-haired fellow with a shaggy black beard waddled into the kitchen and eyed the cupcakes hungrily.

"Only one Max," warned Ben.

"I know, I know," the overweight guy replied, adjusting his glasses and surveying the rest of his options, "Don't worry, I'm the last person who'd corrupt your data."

Grabbing two slices of pizza, a can of soda and a few other treats, he turned towards the dining room but stopped.

"You know, you could always shift the data set down one."

"You mean give you a whole row?"

"Yeah, and just ignore the top part of the graph."

Ben eyed him for a second, "If there's a row left at the end, you can have that."

"Great! By the way have you seen Matt? We're having some difficulty with the Wii."

Matthew came walking into the kitchen at that point and greeted them.

"She can be a little finicky at times. Let me see what I can do."

As the two left the kitchen, Ben turned back to Dudley and continued.

"My brother is a No-Maj- Muggle and growing up we had a bit of a sibling rivalry going. So now he's a history professor with an inordinate amount of knowledge concerning the occult, I'm a wizard on the world wide web and our parents are just glad we're both out of the house.

"Honestly, the way our interests lined up, I get the feeling if my brother and I could switch places, we'd go for it."

Dudley was still a little confused by the turn of events. He was having trouble seeing Benjamin as a wizard, but he was also intrigued by a question he'd wanted to ask Harry for some time.

"Have you ever thought about using your magic to... you know?" Dudley gestured, vaguely trying to imply the idea he couldn't quite put into words.

"What? Go to their world? Find a unicorn? Make my own pony?"

"All of the above?"

"Magic doesn't work that way. Frankly, it's a lot more boring than the world of Equestria. Same with unicorns, they're nothing like the ponies. As for my own pony..."

Ben eyed the ceiling as he surreptitiously opened the left side of his coat, which Dudley noticed seemed a bit more wizardly than what everyone else was wearing, to reveal an Applejack plushy complete with stetson.

As Dudley stared, the plushy tipped it's hat politely to him and said, in a perfect AJ impression, "Howdy there partner. Pleasure makin' yer acquaintance."

Closing his coat back up, Ben looked back down at Dudley and grinned, "She's actually more like a program than a spell. I use her to keep notes, set reminders and I'm hoping to find some way to patch in a GPS system. After I finished Wizarding studies I decided to join the army to cover my college and get a degree in computer engineering... She's also really soft and huggable."

"So you don't use your magic that much?" asked Dudley, only now realizing this didn't really fit in with his mother's remark about 'funny business'.

"Not really..." Ben paused before giving Dudley another look, "Though, between the two of us, I could probably make a killing off of plushies if wizarding rules allowed for it."

"Or if my parents allowed it," added Dudley, swearing to himself he'd find some way to get a plushie from Ben if he ever got his own place. "So when is this roleplaying going to start?"

"The sooner the better," said Sara, popping her head out of the bathroom and, taking hold of Dudley's arm, pulling him into the dining room, "Come on, the sooner we get you a character the sooner we can start. Let's explain this to him Heather."

Dudley soon found himself seated at the table while the two girls hammered him with rules, jargon and how to put together his first character, 'Rudley Dunderson' a knight with 'absolutely no magical power, abilities or interests of any sort'.

After he had his character set up Dudley was introduced to Nathan, a beanpole blonde fellow in a black Stetson Fedora. Then everyone else who was playing, piled into the room and took their seats.

As the lights dimmed, Dudley looked around and wished he was in Grace's place. She had chosen to opt out in favor of sitting in one corner watching along with Terry, who also seemed less interested in joining in. Sara was sitting at the head of the table on his left along with Heather, while Ben's chair was on his right and Nathan sat across from him.

Leaning in between Dudley and Heather, Ben lit the three candles in the center of the table and patted Dudley on the shoulder, "Relax man. If you have any questions just ask. Now," He took his seat and looked across the table at Sara, "Matt says you write some killer adventures so let's get this show on the road!"

Dudley took a calming breath of the scented air and felt the room close in around him like a warm blanket.

"You all awaken in a cave, the stone floor is rough against your skin, but you haven't been lying there for too long. The smell of smoke hangs in the air from the three torches in holders on the walls around you, freshly lit."

As the room closed in on him, Dudley felt his mind's eye opening up to the description Sara was giving them. His nose twitched from the oddly rich smell of the candles and he shot a look at Ben, who smiled and winked at him before steepling his fingers and refocusing on Sara.





Though the adventure had only lasted 45 minutes or so (according to Sara a lightspeed oneshot) Dudley felt like a lifetime, one he'd never even knew existed, had passed him by.

I gotta ask her if she's doing any more of these when the party's over, he said to himself as everyone piled into the living room to catch the latest episodes.

Max had come back upstairs along with Oliver and Sara's brother Matthew, while Heather had gone downstairs for some MLP Karaoke.

As Matt and Max set up the television, Sara and Nathan started the popcorn. Pretty soon everyone was settled in the couch and a several small bowls were handed down the line to fill from a large bowl of popcorn which came afterwards. Max unfolded a chair at the end of the couch farthest from the popcorn and took possession of the large bowl when it got to him.

Sitting at the end of one couch next to Nathan and Max, Dudley couldn't wait for the episodes to start. He'd never watched an episode with anyone else before and was surprised just how easily he was swept up in it all. No magic candles required.

When the theme song started he sang along with everyone, despite his original opinion that the song was 'the girliest part of the show'.

He laughed at the funny parts, gasped at the unexpected plot points and, when Oliver pointed out Derpy in the background, he cheered along with everyone else. Every single person watching with him seemed to make the episode 20% cooler.

After the first episode, which only Dudley, Matthew and Grace hadn't seen, Grace ventured downstairs to see what the karaoke was like.

The next two episodes were even better than the first and Dudley was relieved that he was now caught up with all the episodes he'd missed since his parents confiscated his computer.

Sara brought the lights back up as the episode finished and several new people filtered up from downstairs. The next 5 minutes or so went by like a blur for Dudley. He met the two last people who'd been downstairs all night until they got hungry enough after the karaoke to venture back upstairs.

The first, Ethan, was a tall dark skinned guy who, despite his muscular frame, was apparently a pushover in any fighting game and thus a weak, crybaby $#!7-gamer according to Emily.

Dudley didn't quite know what to make of Emily. She was short for her age, about as old as Matt or Ben, very pretty with short brown hair and... one of the biggest trash talkers he'd heard in his life. The way she explained it, she had the skills to back up her attitude, but he lost track of how many times Matt, Ben and Ethan had to remind her to tone her language down for everyone.

Terry and Grace seemed to have hit it off downstairs and were sitting in the living room talking. According to Ethan, Grace had surprised everyone with her beautiful voice and she and Terry had sung some epic duets together.

Heather and Oliver were playing cards in the living room as well, and Dudley was about to join the next roleplay session Sara was gearing up for, when Emily challenged him. Apparently, Sara had let it slip that Dudley used to play video games with his friends, and Emily wanted to see if he was any good. Next thing he knew Ethan, Emily and Max were practically carrying him downstairs, Emily letting him know he didn't have a chance, Ethan encouraging him to not back down, and Max rattling off a list of games for Dudley to choose from.

That was how Dudley ended up downstairs, plopped in one of two beanbag chairs with a controller in his hands playing Fighting is Magic on Max's computer. Though he'd never played it before, the classic side-scroller, combo attack nature of it caught his attention. After Ethan gave him a quick walk through and a few easy challenge battles (Emily was right, Ethan was a chump at 1v1) Dudley had taken up the gauntlet and faced off against Emily.

The first battle went badly for Dudley, and he only won the second by the skin of his teeth. He was still trying to internalize the combos. But by the third battle, Dudley was applebucking, ground slamming and lassoing Emily's character into a prim and proper mess.

With one last kick, AJ laid Rarity out cold. Dudley let out a whoop of triumph and got a wave of high fives from everyone except the loser. Emily had gone from glaring at the screen to giving him a raised-eyebrow.

"Alright Dud, kid gloves are off now," she said, "You're a worthy opponent. Best three out of five?"

"I beat you fair and square," said Dudley, smirking, "Admit it."

"I was testing you. Ethan couldn't take the heat, but Sara's brother made it this far, right Max?"

Max's face fell and he let out a groan, "Dangit, she's right. She strung Matt out for two out of three too, then she took him to the cleaners."

"And we're back open for business," said Emily, cracking her neck, "Ready to get your @$$ handed to you or are you chic-chic-chic-chicken?"

Dudley felt a bead of sweat form on the back of his neck, but now was one of the few time's his pre-pony bravado came in handy. Grinning back at her, he hit the start button on his controller, returning her taunt with "That's not how ya call a chicken. This is how ya call a chicken, Emilyyy, Em-Emilyyy!"

In the second match, Dudley learned why Emily had won so many matches. Not only was crazy good... she played dirty. She distracted him twice, once with a cleverly hidden stomp on his foot which threw him for a loop, and the second time with a gentle rub of their shoulders.

Dudley was used to pain; his old mates were masters of that ploy, but the second one caught him off-guard enough that he lost the match.

"Getting about time for me to head home," said Emily, yawning, "The undefeated champion."

"Except for racing games," cut in Ethan.

"They're not my forte. Now let's wrap this up."

"Fooled me once, shame on me," replied Dudley, "Fooled me twice-"

"That's the plan darling," interrupted Emily, imitating Rarity's voice, "Now shut the #^(& up and play."

Dudley didn't even wince. He just hit the start button and pushed off into the flow. AJ moved like another appendage under his control and before too long he had the upper hoof.

Her subtle nudges and bumps slid off him like like a greased block of marble as he whittled away at her health bar. He was so focused on the game that barely any sound from the outside world filtered into his periphery.

As Emily's health bare inched towards nothing Dudley could barely make out Ben trying to warn him about something, like a whining insect in the background.

At last, he felt a set of hands grab his shoulders and haul him out of the beanbag. His controller dropping to the floor and Emily swooped in to wrench victory from the mouth of defeat. Dudley's brain was slowly putting the world back together around him as he realized what Ben had done.

His furious expression... froze as Ben shook him and asked a second time, "Where do you live? Quick before they get down here!"

"Privet Drive," he mumbled, confused.

"Which direction is that?"

Dudley had no idea, but Oliver, who'd joined the group when Dudley challenged Emily, stood up and, facing right of the television screen, answered, "North by North West, about- more than 4 kilometers."

"Stall them as best you can but play it stupid. I was never here and for the sake of Celestia don't try anything violent," said Ben, and the next thing Dudley knew the world around him vanished into a drainpipe, or maybe it was the other way round.

All he knew was that he went from a semi-upright position through several stages of imposition, exposition and juxtaposition to end up in a horizontal position with his head resting on some grass, while his body lay sprawled on the sidewalk.

Rolling over he tried and failed to hold in what his stomach was violently trying to excommunicate from his system. After a few moments of sickness he realized Ben was sitting next to him.

Rolling the other way, he raised a finger but Ben placed his hand over Dudley's and lowered it back to the ground, "Breathe first man. Violent attitude doesn't mix with a post-apparition. We can hash all this out when you get your legs under you and start walking home."

Dudley wanted to argue with Ben, but raising his hand again seemed like far too much to ask of his body and so he relaxed his shoulders and let his head fall back onto the nice soft grass. The night air smelled cool and refreshing and he had to admit he was starting to feel better the more of it he breathed.

At last he sat up and, grimacing from the headache that was just starting, he tried standing. Ben helped him. As he leaned on his "friend", Dudley looked around and realized he wasn't just outside, he was on his own street, a few houses away from his own.

"What... urgh... happened?" he choked out as the, now vertical world, righted itself around him.

"There were some people at the door looking for you so I had to side-along apparate you out of there."

"English, sir!" Spat Dudley, "Do you speak it?!"

"Basically you were Spike for Twilight's first teleport."

"Why?!" Dudley turned to face Ben, just sturdy enough to pull off a glare, "I was winning!"

"Walk along and I'll explain," said Ben and Dudley took a stumbling step in the direction of his house.

"After Oliver went downstairs, Sara, Nathan, Heather and I were starting another adventure, and Sara even got her brother to watch. We'd barely left town when some people came to the door. Sara answered it, but even though they looked like police officers I could see through their disguise. I've had a few run-ins with police where I come from. These guys weren't very polite, knew far too much and were way too comfortable walking over the owner of the house to get who they were after.

"Which was me..." said Dudley, still uncertain, "Those are the only reasons you had for mistrusting them?"

"Two them forgot to hide their wands, and not one of them had any kind of electronic device whatsoever."

Dudley groaned with each step, but he had to admit Ben was right.

"Why me though?"

"Well I may not be as familiar with the wizarding world as my brother, but even I know that nephew of yours is in some kind of political upheaval. Are your parents planning on doing anything about it?"

"They've been talking about it a lot, but every time Harry brings it up they keep trying to dismiss it all and sweep the whole thing under the rug."

"Then I'd suggest you find someway to keep him out and get this wrapped up. No offense, but what's coming is way out of your league. By the way, I saved you one."

Dudley was walking on his own now and turned to take the offered cupcake.

"You never told me who was your favorite, so I took a shot in the dark. I know you said you weren't interested in magic, but technically, Friendship is Magic."

"Thanks."

"Now, if you can make if from here," said Ben, turning to leave, "I've got to go clean things up back at the place. I'll make sure everyone remembers you beat Emily fair and square though." With a wink he vanished into the night and Dudley was left standing on Number 4 Privet Drive with the weight of what he had to do on his shoulders.

...But not before he finished eating the purple starburst cupcake.





As the Dursley's drove out of Privet drive Dudley sat quiet in the backseat. He'd tried to put as much sincerity into Harry's goodbye as he could without pushing his father over the edge. Dudley was partially in shock after the events of last night; he'd never seen his father so angry in his entire life.

His mother was right about letting his father have the last word if he didn't shut up at home. After he'd explained what happened, his father had all the words, and Petunia was now doing her best to blend into the background and let Vernon cool down. However, Dudley was unsure if his father would ever ever be capable of that again. The only thing that seemed to be keeping him at rest right now was the fact he was driving away from Harry for good.

The silence in the car was overwhelming. But Dudley could feel the tension in the air like electricity making the hairs on his neck stand up. The tiniest thing could set his father off right now and, unfortunately for everyone, the tiniest thing just so happened to be cutting across the road at that very moment.

Vernon hit the brakes and let fly a livid description of the mental capacity of the jaywalker along with as many choice words as he could think of. But it didn't stop there.

He furiously informed them that the jaywalker was just part of the problem, which included Petunia letting Dudley do whatever the *flip* he wanted...

"Sorry dear. It won't happen again."

By thunder it wouldn't happen again, not if Dudley knew what was good for him. And who did he think he was anyway, fraternizing with them anyway. Frankly, it was Dudley's own fault their sort were coming after him. But that was all going to change. Dudley would finish his education on a stone tablet if that's what it took to keep him out of trouble.

"You hear me Boy!?" He screamed into the rear-view mirror, "I know what you were up to! Thinks he could fool me. That idiotic display with Potter was all because of that stupid show wasn't it!"

Dudley tried to stay silent, but his father wasn't having any of that.

"WELL!?"

"Yeah, it was."

"You're lucky we haven't decided to kick you out on your own. You wouldn't last one day living in your fantasy world. Reality, that's the key. Reality! There's to be no more of this magic-pony-nonsense anymore, you hear?"

The car took on an temporary air of quiet after Vernon's tirade.

"Dad, am I your son?"

"What kind of an asinine question is that? You think we took you in off the streets? We'll never make a mistake like Harry again! I'll guarantee you that."

"Then why are you treating me like him?"

The road they were driving along was now edged on the left side by some empty pastures and the way ahead of them looked clear, which was perhaps partly why Vernon decided it was OK to turn around and start berating Dudley.

"YOU DON'T EVER COMPARE YOURSELF TO THAT GOOD FOR NOTHING! YOU'RE A DURSLEY! YOU UNDERSTAND? A DURSLEY!!!"

"Honey?!"

Petunia and Dudley had just noticed, with Vernon distracted, the car had started to wander into the other lane.

"WE'RE GOING TO KNOCK THIS OUT OF YOU, NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES! YOU'RE NOT LEAVING THE HOUSE UNTIL YOU'RE AS NORMAL AS ANYONE. NO MORE POTTER! NO MORE MAGIC! NO MORE TELEVISION! NO MORE ANYTHING, IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES! YOU HEAR ME BOY?! YOU'RE NOT LEAVING THE HOUSE UNTIL YOU LEARN-"

With a screech, his mother wrenched the wheel out of Vernon's hands and drove the car out of the path of the oncoming truck and onto the side of the road. His father hit the breaks and they came to dusty, jarring halt, the sound of the truck's horn fading behind them.

"I'm driving."

Vernon tried to say something between heaving breaths, but Petunia's voice brooked no argument.

"I SAID, I'M DRIVING. NOW GET OUT!"

Dudley's parents swapped seats and the car became silent once again except for the hushed breathing and pounding heartbeats in everyone's ears.

After they'd been driving for about 15 or so minutes and left Little Whingings behind them, Vernon tried to say something.

"QUIET!" Ordered Petunia and Vernon's voice faded out for a moment before he whispered a single word.

"Sorry."

It hung in the air as Dudley debated responding. The tables had turned, but after what just happened, he was as wary of his mother as his father.

"What?"

Vernon gave his wife a cautious look, as if to say, I'll be quiet, I just need to say this, but Petunia's gaze was locked stoically on the road before them. So slowly, haltingly Vernon began to speak.

"I'm sorry for what I said... I was out of line."

Vernon took another look at his wife and continued.

"I don't understand everything you've told us... But I see you were looking out for our safety."

"Like Benjamin was for me," added Dudley.

In the rear-view mirror Dudley saw his father wince and look away towards his side of the vehicle. But as he did so, Petunia edged the car into the right lane and Vernon shot back up with a start and shouted, "YES."

Petunia brought the car back into the left lane and Vernon continued, with a gulp, "If you could do that for us... I suppose it might be unfair-"

Petunia tapped the brakes.

"For your sake, we can talk about this whole thing- You're growing up and... maybe it's time we let you have a say in your future."

"I'd like that Dad."

"I'm not touching this pony stuff, but... I'll keep my opinions to myself... Fine?"

"Thanks Dad."

They continued driving for a few more moments before Petunia spoke.

"You've changed so much Dudley. Where did my little boy go?"

"I'm right here Mom. I guess I just grew out of being a child watching that show..."