> "You Can't Go Back, Michael." > by Mike the Red > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Why Are You Still With Her? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brenda and I had been returned from Equestria, courtesy of Princess Celestia. I was too drained to do it myself, as my magic strength was pushed to its limit when I took us there in the first place. Truthfully, I hadn't had so much fun in quite a long time and I wanted to go back but the Princess' warning continued to linger in my mind. I paced around the house nervously, trotting up and down the stairs as I pondered the possible consequences of returning despite that warning. Images flashed in my mind of what might happen, including possible worst case scenarios of physical or psychological abuse. I didn't know what to make of Princess Celestia -- she seemed nice enough, if perhaps a little stern. As I continued to pace, the sound of my hooves clip-clopping on the hardwood flooring caused Brenda to grumble and complain rather loudly. "Michael! Cut out that racket! I'm trying to sleep!" she called out from our room. "Sorry, Brenda," I replied, my voice still sounding a little unnatural to my ears. I sat on my haunches on the floor, facing our bed and ruminated over the fun I'd had in Equestria. I suddenly realized I hadn't actually had a Pinkie Pie party -- we had left before she could throw me one. I was torn between obeying the Princess and returning for the sake of having more fun. A stray thought popped into my head, though such a justification was a pretty slim excuse in the face of direct defiance of the Princess' request -- or perhaps it was a command -- but I wanted to have more fun! Perhaps I can tell the Princess I came back to participate in a Welcome to Ponyville Pinkie Pie party on my behalf -- perhaps she'll understand... I waited awhile longer for my magic reserves to replenish themselves. Once I decided I had enough for a return trip, I clenched my eyes shut and concentrated, focusing on the Golden Oaks Library -- remembering the sight of the large oak tree which doubled as both home and library for Twilight. An image I recalled all too vividly but just as fondly as well. I really wanted to see the inside of the place, considering I had only seen the outside during my short (too short for my liking) visit there. My horn began to glow brilliantly as I continued to focus my mind on the tree -- and almost instantaneously, my body vanished in a magenta cloud of smoke and a soft popping noise alerted Brenda to my departure. Upon seeing the puff of smoke, she cursed my name before laying back down to get some more sleep. I coughed quite a bit at the second effort to return -- it took quite a lot more out of me than I was expecting and it took me several minutes to recover from the teleport. I wondered why it was easier for me the first time around, but as I looked at the tree, a smile came to my face. I wasn't sure how much time had passed since my earlier visit, but I noticed it was dark here in Ponyville. I wasn't sure what time it was, but I decided that my desire to see Twilight trumped her desire for sleep. After I had recovered some of my magic strength, I rose to my hooves and trotted to the front door of the library, knocking three times. I looked up as a light caught my attention, noticing Spike sticking his head out the window. This being the first time he'd seen me, he froze up for a moment, stuttering Twilight's name. The lavender unicorn trotted to the window to join her assistant, then looked down to see me standing at her door. "What are you doing out there? Do you know what time it is?" she asked, her tone one of annoyance and fatigue. I flashed her a sheepish grin. "Sorry, Twilight -- I wanted to see you again -- I, um, I felt compelled to return," I replied. I felt a tinge of regret for having returned, but pushed that aside as I saw a smile come to the mare's face. "Well -- come inside," she stated. "I'm not going to have a conversation with you out there -- why did you come back? Didn't you hear Princess Celestia?" "Yes, Twilight -- I'm sorry, but -- I really wanted to see you again," I answered. I shaped my magenta aura into something resembling a hand and twisted the knob, pulling the door open. I trotted inside and closed the door behind me -- and promptly bumped into a table. I lit my horn so I could see my way, noticing a staircase along the far wall. I strengthened my spell so I could see better, doing my best to avoid obstacles (quite a few piles of books littered the floor) and slowly climbed the stairs. Twilight opened her door for me, her horn lit to illuminate my way further. "Michael, I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into by disobeying the Princess," she uttered softly. "But -- I'm glad you came back! I was wanting to talk to you so I could get to know you and your world better -- and I would have liked to have talked to your wife as well," she added. "Well -- I believe I can tell you everything you might want to know about her -- I've been married to her for nearly 20 years," I replied as I sat on the floor facing her bed. Spike came over and began inspecting me very closely, a frown evident on his face. "Sorry, Spike," I noted softly. "And Twilight -- how did you know it was me?" "I took the liberty of analyzing your magic signature while you were here -- it's very close to mine, but not exact -- and when you returned, your magic signature registered with your teleport. You should be careful -- if the Princess finds out you've returned, she might be angry with you." "I can't find any differences," Spike noted. "Check out his cutie mark -- if you look closely, you'll see it's a mirror image of mine," said Twilight. "I'll have to admit, you had me fooled for a moment until I recognized it -- but considering how much you seem to be like me, I guess that's not a bad thing." "So -- does this mean I have your blessing to stay here?" I asked hesitantly, offering a somewhat hopeful look. "Well -- I don't think it's my blessing you need, Michael -- I think the Princess is the one who decides that," she replied. "I think it's cool to have two Twilights," Spike opined cheerfully, flashing a grin. "Unless we both decide to assign tasks for you to do," Twilight retorted, matching his grin. His expression soured immediately. "Just kidding, Spike! You know I wouldn't do that to you!" she giggled. I smiled a little at that, doing my best to stifle a giggle as well. "So, Michael, care to tell me about Brenda?" "Well -- I dunno what you wanna know about her," I said. There was a part of me that was worried about the Princess showing up, but I tried to shove those concerns to the back of my mind. My worried look caught Twilight's attention. "I'd like to know as much as possible about her -- I remember her being rather dark-skinned," she opined. She gave me a warm smile to try to alleviate my fears. I explained in a fair amount of detail as much as I felt comfortable telling, though I was surprised by just how inquisitive Twilight seemed to be. I was also surprised by the fact that she took what seemed like a copious amount of notes regarding my explanation. I also explained how strained our relationship had gotten over the years. I also confessed my feelings for the librarian -- something I probably should have avoided doing, but my emotions got the better of me. I lost track of time, perhaps having taken more than an hour to explain my situation regarding my marriage to Brenda. After all that, Twilight asked me a rather pointed question. "Um, Michael -- if it's been like that for you, why are you still with her?" "That's a good question, Twilight, and even after all the time we've been together, I still don't have a good answer for it. Don't think I haven't wished myself out of that predicament -- I'm actually hoping to stay here in Equestria if the Princess will let me -- it's not just because of the poor relationship I have with my wife, it's the pressure of everything else," I stated. My tone indicated a sense of exasperation as I reflected upon the poor choices I had made in my life which had led to this point. Another stray thought pertaining to an angry Solar Princess flashed across my mind again, manifesting itself in another look of worry on my face. "Would you care to explain further?" asked Twilight, ink and parchment at the ready. I nodded and proceeded to explain in greater detail what my life had been like up til that point, watching as the librarian continued to take notes and ask more questions. Spike brought us some water as time wore on, both of becoming rather fatigued. My eyelids drooped and I tried to stifle a yawn, something which made Twilight giggle before yawning herself. "I only have one bed," Twilight noted softly, "would you like to share it with me? That is, if you don't snore," she giggled. She climbed into her bed and motioned for me to join her. "Thanks, Twilight," I yawned before climbing onto her bed, slipping under the cover. She snuggled against me from behind, her warmth providing me comfort, the sort of feeling I hadn't experienced in a long time. I drifted off quickly as did she, the soft sound of her light breathing lulling me to sleep. Though we didn't notice it, Discord popped into the room while we were asleep. He had masked his arrival and spotted the two of us together. "Well, well, well -- what do we have here? Two Twilights? How interesting," the draconequus said softly as he had popped in while we were asleep. "Hmm, which one of you do I take? You're both too much trouble -- I guess I'll take ... you!" he chuckled as he used his magic to abduct one of us. I turned over and mumbled something softly, noticing neither his arrival nor his departure -- and failed to notice Twilight's absence. The sun's rays woke me from my slumber, but what surprised me was that I was alone in the bed. I groggily rose to my hooves and trotted around the room to check it out. I silently hoped one of the doors led to the bathroom, luckily finding it on the first try. I took care of my bodily needs and decided to find out where Twilight had gone. Spike heard my hoofsteps on the floor and entered the room. "Hey, Twilight, breakfast is almost ready," he said, flashing me a smile. "By the way, where's the other you? I thought she'd stay a bit longer," he mused. "Wait -- what other me? You mean -- you think I'm Twilight? No, Spike -- I'm Michael -- I thought Twilight would be awake by now and doing -- something," I said as I scanned the room, looking around anxiously, then trotting past the drake to the stairs. I carefully made my way down and started looking around the main level. Spike joined me in my search. "Um, if you're Michael -- where's Twilight?" he asked as he helped me search. He opened the door leading to the basement and called for his surrogate sister. He received no response. "Michael -- can you use your magic to scan for her magic signature?" "I'll see if I can -- but it might be a good idea to send Princess Celestia a letter," I replied. I lit my horn and concentrated on Twilight in an attempt to locate her by her magic signature, but wound up with a nasty headache instead. "Ugh, that hurts -- I don't think I can do that, Spike -- better send the Princess a letter," I declared glumly. "Sure thing, Twi," he said cheerfully before scratching on a piece of parchment with an ink quill, then quickly rolling it into a scroll and breathing fire on it. I watched as the parchment turned into ash and disappeared, noting the oddness of the greenish flames. Seconds later, a loud popping noise accompanied by a bright flash of light ushered in the arrival of the Solar Princess. "Um, Spike, what did you write?" I asked fearfully as the Alicorn gave me a harsh stare. > I Thought I Told You > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Twilight awoke to find herself laying on a cold stone floor. Groggily she rose to her hooves, noting the stiffness of her back. She yawned and stretched out before she realized where she was. Upon seeing her predicament, she panicked and started screaming. "Where am I? What's going on?" she cried out. She couldn't make out much -- the dimness of the room kept her from being able to ascertain her location. She noted that she was in what appeared to be a jail cell. The walls behind her were dark and slimy, the wetness glistening from the dim light. The wall in front of her was a set of metal bars with a door cut into them, a large padlock keeping it secure. Instinctively, she tried to use her magic -- and immediately regretted that decision. Her world exploded in pain, seemingly shooting through her head. She looked to her horn and noticed a ring had been placed on it. The draconequus returned with another pony under his lion's paw and noticed the librarian had awoken. Twilight gasped to see Pinkie Pie in the clutches of the chaos entity and called her name. "Well, well, well -- looks like you're awake now," he chuckled. "You'll have plenty of company soon enough," he added as he disappeared again after placing the baker in an adjacent cell. "You're not going to get away with this," she called out after him. He reappeared almost immediately upon hearing her retort. "Oh, but I am, little Twilight! I should thank your double -- he was the one who freed me!" Discord cackled almost maniacally just before blinking out again. "What did he mean by that?" asked Pinkie. "Does that mean there's another pony who looks like you? Wait a minute, I remember! I never got to throw that copy of you a Welcome to Ponyville party! When we get outta here, I'm gonna do exactly that!" "Um, that's if we get out of here," the librarian stated glumly. "I can't even use my magic!" "That's okay, neither can I!" the pink party pony giggled. Twilight gave her a look of exasperation before shaking her head in bewilderment. "So, Twilight, what seems to be the problem?" asked the Princess. Her expression showed a small degree of puzzlement but she maintained a smile nonetheless. Seeing her initially brought a smile to my face, but I also remembered her warning from yesterday. My smile left as quickly as it came. "Um, Princess, I have a bit of bad news for you -- I'm not really Twilight -- and Spike and I have been looking for her -- but we don't know where she is. I tried to scan for her magic signature, but I don't know how to do that -- yet," I offered, flashing a somewhat sheepish grin. "Hmm. You look like Twilight -- who are you if you're not her?" she asked, her tone a bit more serious. "I'm Michael -- we met yesterday when I had my human wife with me," I replied. Her smile returned as she recalled the previous day's events. Spike gave me a puzzled look as he pondered the thought of his surrogate sister accompanied by something he'd never seen. This elicited a soft chuckle from the Alicorn. "Ahh. Yes, I remember you from yesterday -- but if I'm not mistaken, I believe I also told you not to return, except when I requested it. So this means you've disobeyed me -- pray tell, Michael, why did you return?" she asked, her stern tone causing me to wilt under it, a look of fear making itself evident. "Well -- um, I wanted to have some more fun," I replied meekly. "I mean, it's been so long since I last had an opportunity like this -- and my life has been so empty back on Earth -- and I didn't even get to have a real Pinkie Pie party," I added, flashing another hopeful look -- or was it a big cheesy grin? "I see -- so when did you return?" "It was a bit later on yesterday -- Twilight and I talked for quite a long time before we retired for the night," I said. The Princess noted the unkempt bed and sniffed the air, then scanned it with her magic. She frowned. "We didn't have sex, if that's what you're implying," I added nervously. Did we have sex? I don't think so -- at least, I don't remember us doing anything other than sleeping... "You two slept in that bed -- but -- I sense the presence of Discord," she noted. My eyes went wide at that mention. "Ah, so you know of him?" "Um, not very much, your Majesty," I replied meekly. The thought of seeing the mismatched creature sent a shiver down my spine. "I believe he might have taken her -- if that's the case, I need to gather the other Element Bearers before he does anything else," she stated firmly before teleporting out of the room. "What am I supposed to do?" I asked aloud, my query only addressing a puff of smoke. "I would have appreciated some guidance, Princess!" "I dunno, Mike, but I guess we have to wait for Princess Celestia to return," Spike offered. "I just hope Twilight is okay and that the Princess can find her." "Yeah, I'm worried about her too -- but didn't you say something about breakfast?" I asked as my stomach grumbled in protest at a lack of food. I began to saunter into the kitchen at this point, the drake running ahead of me. "I made breakfast for Twilight and me, but if you want some pancakes, I guess you can have the ones I fixed for Twilight -- I can make some fresh ones when she gets back," Spike opined. "At least -- I hope she gets back soon!" "I think Princess Celestia can handle the situation -- I'm sure Twilight will be back before you know it," I said, flashing the drake a reassuring smile. I sat at the table and began to tuck into the plate of food in front of me, pouring syrup onto the pancakes. As I chewed, I noted an odd texture to the food and an even stranger flavor to them. "Hey, Spike, what did you add to the pancake batter? It tastes kinda funny," I said. "I put quite a bit of hay into the mix -- Twilight likes the taste, so I make them like that for her. I've gotten used to the taste myself," he replied. "Twilight was going to visit Rarity at the boutique today -- something about a dress or something --" "I'd like to go there and see her again -- and perhaps we can stop by the bakery and get some sweets -- these pancakes are pretty good, but I've got a taste for chocolate -- or perhaps another taste of that Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness cake again -- that was very tasty!" "Sounds like a good idea, Twi," he said. I opened my eyes at him in surprise. "Oh, sorry -- I guess it's just a habit," he grinned sheepishly. "I guess I'll have to get used to being called that, since I'm in her body. I'll help you clean up," I offered as I finished the pancakes, though Spike blanched a little when I licked the plate clean of syrup. "This syrup's about the best I've ever tasted," I smiled before rising to my hooves again. I trotted over to the sink, noticing a few dirty dishes. I used my magic to turn on the water, wet up a towel, soap it up, and then proceeded to wash and rinse the dishes, placing them in the drying rack. "Um, that's one of my chores, Twi -- you don't have to -- oh, you're done already?" I giggled in response to his query, smiling warmly at him. "It's fine, Spike, I just wanted to do this to practice my magic some more," I said. "Okay, let's get going." "What about your saddlebags?" he asked. "And didn't you make a checklist of things to do today?" "Twilight makes checklists, Spike -- I suppose I should get in the habit of that, I get so absent-minded sometimes -- let me get the saddlebags, I think I might need them. Did Twilight make a checklist last night? Oh, wait -- we were talking til well past midnight last night, I don't think she made one," I mused as I trotted into the main room. Spike fetched the saddlebags, holding them out with his arms outstretched. "Thanks, Spike," I smiled as I took them in my aura and placed them on my back. He clambered onto my back at this point. "Okay, I think that's everything," he said optimistically. > Where's Pinkie? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I trotted out the front door, closing it behind me. Spike rested comfortably on my back, his weight barely noticeable. I gazed around, taking in my surroundings and trying to make mental notes of the various ponies trotting to and fro on what seemed like a pretty nice day. There was a gentle breeze blowing, a few puffy white clouds in an otherwise clear blue sky and the sun hung lazily in the eastern sky. Several pegasi flew by, some waving to me and offering friendly smiles as they passed. I smiled and waved back to them before continuing onward. "So, the bakery first, okay?" I asked as I trotted in the direction I remembered from yesterday. Spike shifted his weight on my back to take an even more comfortable position. "Yeah, Twi, sounds cool," he said nonchalantly. We hadn't even gotten started a good couple of minutes before a pony trotted up to me, a look of concern on her face. I didn't know who she was, but she definitely knew who I was -- or at least, who I appeared to be. "Hey, Twilight, can you help me with something?" asked a mint-green unicorn mare. I noticed what looked like a harp on her flanks. "Uh, I'm kinda busy right now," I replied as I continued to trot towards the bakery. I wasn't in the mood to be doing problem-solving for other ponies, but it looked like I was being roped into it whether I liked it or not. "Please, Twilight, this is very important!" "What do you need?" I asked, exhaling sharply through my mouth to express a degree of exasperation. "Well, it's just that -- my roommate, Bon Bon has been acting kinda weird lately," she offered, flashing a hopeful look. I tilted my head, curiosity evident in my expression. The green mare took that as a sign to continue. "So -- if you could come with me, we can see what's going on," she added. "Um, I'm really busy now -- can this wait for another time? I need to find Pinkie Pie," I declared, my exasperation giving way to near desperation at this point. "Well -- I guess so, Twilight -- but -- please, as soon as you can -- please come back and help me," she begged. "What's wrong with Bon Bon?" I asked, my curiosity piqued. "I can't come with you, but maybe you can trot with me and tell me your concerns -- and maybe I might be able to give you some helpful advice," I offered as I resumed trotting towards the bakery. "She seems to act kinda weird -- sometimes her voice changes for no apparent reason -- and I think I saw her acting real sneaky a few days ago." "Sounds intriguing -- I don't think I've ever heard of such odd behavior -- perhaps you should give her a few days to recover from whatever she might be going through -- but I'd suggest you be extra nice to her as well," I offered, smiling softly. "That sounds like a good idea -- thanks, Twilight!" the mare beamed before trotting away and humming happily. I hadn't trotted much further before another pony approached me and shoved something in my mouth. "Here, taste this," a female voice offered. The mare appeared to be a fuschia colored earth pony with a burgundy mane and tail and what looked like a couple of berries on her flanks. "What do you think? Too tart? Too sweet? What?" "I dunno -- what is it?" I asked, almost afraid to find out. It had something of a mix of both sweet and tart and had the consistency of a thick milkshake -- a hint of strawberry and perhaps orange -- or was it passion fruit? "I dunno -- I found it in the bakery on one of the tables," she replied cheerfully. "Ack! Why'd you do that?" I asked in exasperation, completely flustered by this utterly random action. I glared at the pony for a moment. "Relax, it's just some yogurt I got from the bakery," she chuckled. "Since when did the bakery start offering yogurt?" I asked, my mood unchanged by this revelation. "Well -- I'm not sure, but it was offered to me by Mrs. Cake -- she seemed rather happy to give it to me, free of charge," the mare opined. "So -- you want it? I don't care too much for it myself. Now I've gotta find something to wash the taste of it out of my mouth," she added and trotted away, leaving me with a cup of yogurt. "Spike? Care for some yogurt?" I asked, levitating it up to him as he turned over on my back to watch the spectacle. He reached over and grabbed it, gulping it down quickly. "That was pretty tasty," he noted, flashing a grin. He belched and turned back over to lay on his back, allowing my trotting motion to lull him back to sleep. We made it to the bakery just as he started snoring. Upon entering, I heard the tinkling of a small bell, most likely attached to the top of the door to act as a chime. I paid it little heed and noticed a blue earth pony mare at the front counter. Her deep pink mane was styled up in a large swirl, reminding me of soft-serve ice cream. "Um, good morning, miss --" I began, my pause allowing her to name herself. I had never seen her before, so I had no idea who she was. "That would be Mrs., dearie -- have you forgotten who I am already, Twilight? I thought you knew me and my husband better than that," she stated firmly, fixing me with a rather harsh stare. "Oh -- I should have remembered -- you must be Mrs. Cake -- but -- I have a bit of a secret to tell you -- I know I look like Twilight, but I am in a copy of her body --" "Oh. You must be a changeling then -- we don't serve your type in here," she stated coldly, her gaze hardening further at me. "I just came by to see if Pinkie Pie was here -- and maybe get another slice of that MMMM cake you're so famous for," I replied meekly. "And -- no -- I'm not a changeling -- God forbid I take on that persona!" "I don't know what you're talking about, Twilight -- and as for Pinkie PIe -- she wasn't here this morning to help open the shop or with the baking," the blue mare declared. Her tone seemed to soften a little. "Did Princess Celestia stop by earlier?" I asked. "What business is it of yours? Not that it matters much, but -- yes, she did -- and helped herself to a box of cupcakes before leaving." "Hmm. Okay, thanks for the info. Spike, it looks like we need to head to the boutique next," I announced, waking the little drake from his slumber. "Huh, wazzat? Did you say something, Twi? The boutique? Rarity?" he asked, his face beaming a big smile. "Well -- I dunno if she's there, Spike, but we're about to find out," I replied, offering a soft chuckle. He had a very endearing quality to him, one I found quite adorable. > Where's Rarity? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I left the bakery with more questions than answers -- something weird was going on and I was determined to find out what it was. I tried to remember the pegasi flying overhead -- was Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy among their number? I didn't remember seeing either of them -- but I did see a mostly grey one with blonde mane and tail flying around with what looked like a mail satchel around her neck. I made a mental file of ponies, trying to see if I could remember who they were -- but there were so many I had no knowledge of. It looked as though a few pegasi were pushing clouds together, something I found quite odd given the way the weather works on my homeworld. I thought I remembered Rainbow Dash being on the weather team, but didn't see her with the others. I tried calling up to them, but they were so far away they couldn't hear me. "Come on, Twilight -- I thought we were going to see Rarity!" Spike implored almost stridently. I chuckled softly at his tone of voice, somewhat petulant in its quality. "Of course, Spike -- I was just checking to see if I could spot Rainbow Dash up there with the rest of the weather team -- looks like they're trying to put together a pretty big storm -- look how dark those clouds are getting," I noted. "Then we'd better hurry to the boutique!" he exclaimed brightly. I remember him having a crush on the fashionista, but I wasn't sure how deep it was. I decided to pick up the pace a little as the sky continued to darken. "How big a storm are you guys gonna make? Jeez!" I shouted up at the pegasi. It looked as though one of them might have heard me and flew down to chat with me. "And you are?" I asked the pony, a look of confusion on my face. "Cloud Chaser -- Twilight, I thought you knew who I am!" "I'm, uhh, I guess I forgot -- these things happen, y'know!" I grinned. "Yeah -- well -- did you say something about how big a storm we're making? That was on the schedule today," she stated. "Well -- it looks like too big a storm -- like it might produce a tornado," I noted with quite a bit of concern. "Don't worry, we've got this," she retorted and flew back to join the rest of the pegasi. "Come on, Twi, we don't have time to waste," Spike implored impatiently. "Okay, okay, Spike, I'm going," I huffed, quick-trotting to the boutique and making it there in about three minutes. I rang the doorbell and was greeted by a white filly. "Twilight, I'm so glad you're here! Rarity's been gone all day and I don't know where she is! Can you help me find her?" the filly asked, giving me her best sad puppy-dog eyes look and pouting her lips as well. I entered the boutique and Spike got off my back. I noted his hopeful expression change to one of concern when the filly announced Rarity's absence. "Yeah, I guess so -- you must be Sweetie Belle, right?" I asked, tilting my head to indicate a small amount of uncertainty as to her identity. "A-duh, yeah, who else would I be? Why would you ask that?" "I, uh, guess I get forgetful sometimes -- happens to the best of us, y'know?" I replied, grinning sheepishly. "Right -- let's find Rarity," I added in an attempt to divert her attention away from any further prying questions. I silently wondered if wishing to wake up as Twilight was such a good idea -- but then again, I hadn't figured on being able to teleport from my home world to Equestria, either. I was also second-guessing my decision to return, wondering what lay in store for me. The Princess had seemed a little angry, but hadn't done anything of serious consequence to me -- at least, not yet anyway. My mind started racing as I contemplated meeting her again. "Um, Twilight, are you just going to stand there staring at the ceiling or are you gonna help me find my sister?" she asked impatiently. "Sorry about that, Sweetie Belle -- but I'm not really sure where to look. She didn't leave a note or something letting you know where she was going, did she?" "No -- but sometimes she leaves without doing so," she replied. "I assume you've checked every room, including the basement?" I asked. "Yeah, I've been all over the house and there's no trace of her," she replied. Spike's expression turned to one of deep worry. "She wasn't abducted by those Diamond Dogs again, was she?" asked Spike. "No, I think they learned their lesson last time around," the filly replied, giggling a little as she recalled the details of that story. "Should we contact Princess Celestia again?" I asked. "Well -- I don't think this is that serious yet," Spike opined. "I think we can find her somewhere here in town." Just as the words were leaving his mouth, a loud crack and boom resounded as a bolt of lightning struck nearby. That was followed shortly by the rain coming down in sheets, the sound loud enough to drown out normal speech as it pounded the roof of the boutique. "Looks like we're gonna be staying here for awhile," I mused, speaking over the sound of the rain. "I'd offer you some food, but I'm not very good at cooking," she said. "Why'd it have to rain now?" she asked in exasperation. "One of the weather ponies told me it was on the schedule -- which sounds weird to me -- I wonder exactly what's going on around here," I muttered. "How long is it supposed to last?" "Why are you asking me? I don't control the weather," the filly grumped. "Anyway, aren't you supposed to be the pony with all the answers?" "Uh, well -- I'm happy you think that of me, but no, I don't have all the answers -- and I don't claim to, either, Sweetie -- I guess we'll have to wait it out -- you already said you checked every room in the house -- and I wonder if we should just wait for her to return -- or if we should contact the Princess again," I mused as I paced circles around the main room. "Twilight, please stop that -- you need to sit down and relax," said Spike, showing even more concern for me than for Rarity. I trotted around the room and found a couch to sit on, taking an almost uncharacteristic non-pony pose as I sat on it. Spike and Sweetie Belle gasped at my pose, so I turned over and laid on my belly, my forelegs draped over the front of the couch, my hind legs draped over the back of it. "You must not be Twilight -- she doesn't act like that at all," Sweetie deduced. "Well -- Twilight said something about this copy being from another world or something," Spike stated. "I think she called herself Michael or something like that." "That's right -- sorry, Sweetie --" I began. She trotted angrily towards me. "If you're not Twilight, why do you look like her?" "Um, I woke up like this yesterday -- I don't wanna go into all the details --" "Tell me! If we're gonna wait out the rain, we've got time for you to tell me everything!" she shouted at me. We spent the next three hours discussing my past and the events leading up to this point. The filly was extremely curious about lots of things and the more I told her, the more her expression changed to one of wonderment -- it seemed as though she wanted to visit my home world, given what I'd told her of it. "Nah, I don't think you really wanna go there," I opined. I admired her curiosity as it reminded me of myself when I was that young and had an unquenchable desire to explore, to travel, to see as many different places as I could. The thought caused me to chuckle softly. > There Is No Discordia, But Discordia -- And It Is Your Discordia > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Okay, that should be the last of you trouble makers," the draconequus grinned as he placed Rainbow Dash in one of the last remaining empty cells. There appeared to be one more empty cell, for whomever might be foolish enough to attempt a rescue. His lair was dark except for a single light suspended from the ceiling -- it illuminated a single small table with a single chair at it and very little else. All six of the ponies had rings on some part of their body to inhibit the use of magic, some of them glowering angrily at Discord. Fluttershy whimpered meekly as she tried to hide behind her mane, cowering in the corner of her cage and looking fearfully at him. The chaos entity took the empty seat, then turned it upside-down before sitting on it. "Now, now, Fluttershy, there's no need to cry -- I'm expecting a visitor to pop in very shortly," he chuckled. He created a pitcher of water from thin air, then emptied the contents. The water changed into confetti as it was guided into a glass he had materialized from somewhere. As the confetti began filling the glass, it changed form yet again, taking on a dark brown hue and bubbling with effervescence. A fizzing sound emanated from the glass before he drank it, emitting a rather loud belch after finishing it off. "What do you plan on doing with us?" asked Twilight. Her curiosity had won out over her fear -- she had given up trying to remove the ring from her horn as each time she had tried to do so, a sharp pain jolted her from her magic focus. "And what exactly are you talking about?" "I plan on keeping you here -- that way, you will all stay out of my way while I take over Equestria once again -- and as for this visitor, well --" he chortled as he snapped two fingers of his lion's paw, creating a blue puff of smoke and a rather bewildered-looking azure unicorn mare to appear from seemingly nowhere. She looked around the room, an expression of terror marring her features. "Trixie wants to know where she is and why she is here!" she shouted as she locked eyes with the draconequus. An inhibitor ring materialized around the base of her horn after the words left her mouth, causing her to panic at the sensation of her magic draining away. "What? What is going on here?" "Now, now, don't you worry, Trixie -- my visitor should be arriving shortly," Discord chuckled, causing the already confused ponies to express deeper confusion. "What, Trixie's not your visitor?" asked a perplexed Twilight as she shifted on her hooves nervously. "No, no, she's merely bait for my visitor," he chortled. His expression showed great mirth as he took a pocket watch from out of his fur, looking at it and listening to it tick the seconds quite loudly. The ticking noise reverberated around the mostly empty room. "Aaaaaand, three, two, one ..." Every pony watched, waiting with baited breath -- the suspense was so great, Pinkie nearly fell over herself. "Oooh! Oooh! Who is it? Who is it?" the pink party pony chirped excitedly, eliciting groans from Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight. To answer her question, yet another brilliant flash of white accompanied by a blue puff of smoke announced the new arrival. She was not alone, however. "Discord, release them at once," stated a rather nonplussed Princess Celestia. The look of fear on Discord's face was utterly priceless, eliciting smiles of amusement on the faces of the others. To see his jaw hit the floor in comedic fashion would have been worth the price of admission, though the Solar Princess was not amused by the display. The azure mare accompanying her was likewise unimpressed, her expression seemingly one of grim determination. "What? How did you find me? I -- I -- I wasn't expecting ... YOU!" he whined. "She," he said, changing his attitude to one of nonchalance, pointing at another blue unicorn mare, "she's the one I was expecting." The other ponies were shocked to see a second Trixie in the same room, the show-mare included. Said blue unicorn mare stuck her tongue out at him and blew him a raspberry. "Be careful where you stick your tongue, little lady -- you might receive something unpleasant on it," he growled before turning to face the Solar Princess who continued to glare at him in disapproval. "Well, well, Celly, what brings you here?" he asked, his grin widening. "I believe I already answered your question, Discord. Release my little ponies," she replied firmly, her gaze hardening at the draconequus. "That includes Trixie as well," she added as she imposed herself into his personal space, her face mere inches away from his. The second Trixie took a step towards Discord to add emphasis to the Alicorn's admonition, drawing a hesitant gasp from a couple of the other ponies. "Ugh, you're no fun anymore, Celly. I guess I have no choice," he mused, a mirthful tone to his voice as he snapped two fingers of his eagle talon, causing the cells to open and inhibitor rings to clatter noisily to the floor before they turned into doves and flew away, the flapping of wings echoing through the room. "But mark my words, Celly -- I shall return and I shall have my revenge!" he cackled as he disappeared in a puff of smoke. He reappeared momentarily to quip, "And Trixies -- you'll be my entertainment next time around!" before disappearing yet again. "Princess, thank you so much for coming to our rescue! But -- how did you know where we were?" asked a very relieved Twilight. "And -- who is this second Trixie?" > I Am Trixie Lulalmoon -- Or Maybe Not > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The assemblage of ponies in the dimly lit room which may or may not have served as Discord's lair milled around, though Pinkie Pie was bouncing around excitedly at the prospect of throwing yet another party, this time for the second Trixie. The first Trixie glowered at the second, her mood soured by the fact that she had been unceremoniously teleported away from her travels. "Trixie wants to know why you have chosen to mock her in this fashion!" she exclaimed indignantly, glowering angrily at her doppelganger. The others watched in anticipation, they themselves wondering something similar but having chosen not to express their curiosity. Her doppelganger slowly trotted towards the showmare, a sly grin on her face. Trixie slowly backed away until her tail hit the wall behind her as her double closed the distance between them. "Trixie says stop!" she commanded, her voice wavering. The doppelganger gave the showmare a quick kiss on her lips before backing away a little distance. "I do not mock you, Trixie -- I woke up like this a few days ago. My name is Michael Walker, and until recently, I was a male human. Since I'm now trotting around in a copy of your body, Trixie, I must admit how much fun it is to do so, regardless of what anypony else says or thinks about it. I consider it an honor to be a copy of you, even though that's not what I'd wished for," he replied. The azure show-mare nickered at his compliment, blushing ever so slightly. "What did you wish for?" asked the Solar Princess who flashed a sly grin. "Well -- I guess I kinda wanted to be Twilight Sparkle -- but I still don't know why I woke up as Trixie -- unless Discord had something to do with it," she mused. "The Great and Powerful Trixie accepts your compliment ... Michael," she stated haughtily, tacking a snort of derision onto the end of her statement. The others were still somewhat shocked to see two Trixies before Twilight broke the awkward silence permeating the dank room. The humidity felt almost stifling. "So how did you get here? There's another pony who says his name's Michael Walker, but he's trotting around in a copy of my body," Twilight declared. "Really? Sounds interesting," the Trixie clone opined bemusedly. "I've heard about alternate universes -- so if there's a version of me in your body..." she added tentatively, allowing her words to trail off as she began contemplating the ramifications. "Aren't you interested in meeting yourself? I can throw a party for both of you!" Pinkie giggled as she bounced up and down. "That would be a bad idea, Pinkie -- even making eye contact could lead to a catastrophic paradox," she replied solemnly. Twilight nodded her head in agreement at her statement. "Trixie wants to know why such a thing hasn't happened already, considering you are posing yourself as her," the show-mare huffed. "Paradoxes only occur when two of the same individual encounter each other, not when a doppelganger encounters his or her counterpart. I suppose that this meeting between us represents a sort-of paradox, even though I know that if I were to encounter my other universe self in Twilight's body -- well -- I don't care to countenance the repercussions of that event," she explained. "Trixie does not care about that," she responded dismissively, waving her right forehoof to indicate her decided lack of interest in the topic. "Trixie wants to know more about you, though, Michael," she declared as she slowly trotted over to her doppelganger, who noticed her approach and shied away slightly, edging closer to the Solar Princess. Some of the others giggled or nickered at the sight. "Trixie, what is it you wish to know about me?" she asked as she bumped against the alicorn's hind legs, causing a rather unceremonious display of the princess trying to regain her balance. The other ponies in the room gasped in shock and surprise as they witnessed the inadvertent action, though Pinkie cracked a smile as well. "Excuse me," the alicorn interjected almost angrily at the unanticipated contact, her harsh gaze directed at both Trixies. "I would appreciate it if you would exercise greater caution, Michael." "My apologies, your Majesty," Trixie's doppelganger offered sincerely, bowing deeply before the princess. "Trixie apologizes, Princess Celestia," she stated, though a hint of contempt forced its way through her words. "Your apologies are accepted," the alicorn responded. "It's not every day that Trixie gets to meet herself!" she chortled as she closed the distance between herself and her doppelganger, whose expression turned to one of trepidation and worry. "Don't be afraid, Michael -- Trixie doesn't bite!" she giggled as she placed a foreleg over her double's withers and gave her a light hug. "Um, I take it you'd like to accompany me on my travels?" she asked, uncertainty evident in her tone. Trixie nodded her head, smiling broadly. "What about your, uh, other self -- my doppelganger?" asked Twilight. "I'm sure he can handle his own affairs just fine if he happens to be in a copy of your body," Trixie's doppelganger opined. Trixie kissed her double, almost giggling at said double's reaction. "Trixie --" "Trixie wants to be with herself," she chortled before kissing her double again. "Trixie, not in front of everypony," her double almost whined. The others giggled and nickered at the sight before Trixie kissed her double yet again. "You kissed Trixie first," she giggled. "Trixie wants to accompany herself wherever she may go!" "Does that mean you're leaving?" asked Rainbow Dash, her annoyance quite evident in the tone of her voice. "Not before we throw you a party!" Pinkie chirped, bouncing on her hooves. "Let's return to the castle -- we've wasted enough time here as it is," Princess Celestia stated flatly, though her tone also indicated a level of annoyance before encompassing everypony with her magic and performing a group teleport to the castle, specifically to the throne room. "Trixie, I have to return to my homeworld," her doppelganger said softly. "Are you sure you want to come with me?" The showmare responded by hugging her double and kissing her passionately on the lips. "Trixie says yes!" she chirped. "I wish I could go with you, Michael! I'd like to see what your homeworld looks like!" Twilight chimed optimistically. "Maybe my alternate self might be able to take you with him some time -- but I think you're needed here more than there -- and I can only teleport one additional pony with me when I return to my homeworld," she declared. Twilight's expression showed disappointment at this revelation. "Okay, Trixie -- you sure you want to come with me? I may not be able to return for a long time." Trixie mulled her options for a moment before embracing her double again. "Trixie says let's go!" she exclaimed excitedly. She planted another kiss on her double's lips again as the two were enveloped in a pale blue aura, then disappeared in a puff of smoke. "There was so much I wanted to ask," Twilight opined in a dejected tone. "If what he said is true, then your doppelganger here should be able to answer the same questions," Princess Celestia mused. "He's still in Ponyville, isn't he?" the librarian half-asked, half-said. "Princess, would you be so kind?" "Of course, Twilight. Everypony gather 'round, I shall send you to Ponyville." > Where's Applejack? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- We waited for what seemed like hours before the rain finally stopped. When the clouds were cleared, it was very late in the afternoon. Rarity had not returned and neither had the Princess -- and in fact, she hadn't even sent a letter through Spike to inform me of her progress in this matter. "Well, Sweetie -- do you suppose we should go outside and look for Rarity now?" I asked. "Um, I guess that sounds like a good idea," she replied. "I don't feel like being alone knowing she's not around here." Spike climbed onto my back again as we left the boutique, but with the sun hanging low in the west, we knew we didn't have much time to look for her. "If it gets too late out, where am I supposed to sleep? I don't wanna sleep in the house by myself," the filly opined almost fearfully. "Well -- I suppose I could set something up for you in the library -- or we could try Applejack's farm and see if Apple Bloom might let you share her bed or something," I suggested optimistically. "Um, the farm sounds like a good idea -- let's go there!" she exclaimed with some excitement. "Please lead me in the right direction," I stated, noting the sun beginning to set. "Follow me and try to keep up, Twilight!" she giggled as she took off in a quick gallop, forcing me to hustle to keep up. "Why are you going so fast?" I asked, huffing between words as I tried to keep Spike from falling off my back, though he was clinging to my neck tightly, his claws digging into my skin. "Easy on the claws there, Spike," I admonished him. "We gotta get there before it gets too dark!" she shouted back at me. "Sorry, Twi, but it's all I can do to hang on! Sweetie Belle! Can you slow it down some?" the drake called out. She repeated her previous statement, adding emphasis to the last few words, refusing to slow down at all. I pushed the pain aside and continued to match Sweetie's frenetic pace -- and just before it became too much to bear, the farm house came into view. "Whew, almost there," I sighed, slowing down to a trot. Spike released his death grip on my neck and sat up on my back, shifting his weight to keep from falling off as I took the last few steps up to the entrance. Sweetie had already knocked on the door and Apple Bloom had answered it. "Hey, Twilight, what brings you out here?" the pale yellow filly asked. Her smile was quite infectious, eliciting a similar smile on my face. She is irresistibly cute! "I was wondering if your sister was here," I mused. "And Sweetie's looking for her sister." "The Princess stopped by earlier, but Applejack was already gone when she showed up," the filly replied. "So what happened then?" I asked as worry started to creep back into my voice. "The Princess left without saying anything." "Hmm. What about your brother?" "He's been doing all the work outside -- he'll be coming back in before too much longer," she replied. "Can I stay here tonight?" asked Sweetie Belle, her expression showing just as much worry as mine. "Sure, Sweetie -- where's Rarity?" "I dunno -- she was gone when I got home from school -- she didn't leave a note or anything!" "That's not like her," I mused. Spike nodded his head in accord with my observation. "Sweetie, I think I'm gonna head back to the library -- it's getting too late to do any more searching. I think we should try tomorrow -- and if we don't find her, we should contact Princess Celestia again." "Sounds good, Twilight -- seeya later -- good night, Spike!" the filly called out as we left. I began retracing my steps but wasn't exactly sure which way to go to get back to the library. Spike ended up helping me quite a bit, though trotting around after dark made it difficult. Eventually we made it back, but I was surprised to see some lights on inside. "Spike, I don't remember leaving any lights on," I commented quizzically. "I don't, either -- but maybe Twilight did," he offered. I heard the hopeful tone in his voice, which raised my hopes as well. We approached the front door and I raised my hoof to knock. "You don't need to knock, Twi," he chuckled at me. I blushed before opening the door, but was surprised to see the lights cut off. I fumbled my way inside and closed the door, grumbling about the inconsistency of lighting. "SURPRISE!!" came a call from a whole bunch of ponies I hadn't noticed earlier. I shrieked in terror, jumping about five feet in the air from the shock of the lights being turned back on, the sight of what seemed like a hundred ponies crowding the main room of the library, and a certain very pink pony who chose that specific moment to hug me tightly. My world became nothing but pinkness as she held me to her. We dropped to the floor, my heart racing in my chest and a look of terror on my face. "Were you surprised? Huh? Were you?" Pinkie chirruped as she bounced in place, hopping directly in front of me. Her big blue eyes filled my vision as I tried to process the scene before me. "Princess Celestia told me you wanted me to throw you a surprise party! Well, here you are!" "Um, where's Twilight? Where's Rarity? Where's Applejack?" I asked as my heart rate slowed down a bit. The three mares I mentioned stepped forward with big smiles on their faces, causing me to brighten considerably. "Sweetie's over at the farm -- we were worried about you," I noted. "Thanks for taking her over there, Michael," Rarity stated. "I'd hate to think I'd left her alone at home, but she's old enough to take care of herself. It's a relief to know you're kind and generous enough to consider her well-being, darling!" "No problem, Rarity -- but the way the Princess was acting earlier --" I began before I noticed said Princess approach me, a mischievous grin on her face. I chuckled at the irony of the situation. I turned to my doppelganger at this point. "Um, Twilight, what happened while we were sleeping together? I woke to find you missing." "Discord abducted me and took me to his lair -- but the Princess found somepony to help us and now we're back!" she replied with what seemed like a little too much enthusiasm for her. "Who was it?" I asked. I was quite intrigued by this and definitely wanted to know the whole story. > A Mixed Bag of Surprises > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Princess Celestia took me aside at this point, though she also levitated two cups of punch to us. "Have a drink, Michael -- I believe an explanation is in order," she noted. I took the proffered cup and levitated it to my mouth, sipping lightly at the punch. I raised my eyebrows at the taste, noting a slight hint of alcohol. "Somepony spike the punch or something?" I asked. "That might be your mind playing tricks on you -- there is no alcohol in the punch -- Pinkie doesn't do that sort of thing," the alicorn replied, her expression hardening a little, her smile tightening just a smidge. "My apologies, your Majesty, but I know the taste of alcohol -- I guess I might be jumping to conclusions, sorry about that," I offered, my ears flopping down as I almost instinctively lowered my head. I heard her giggle in response, causing me to blush. "That's quite all right, Michael -- but back to my original point. The reason why I asked you not to return was for your safety -- and as you might have discovered, Discord did indeed abduct Twilight -- the fact you shared her bed troubles me as well -- don't look at me like that, the reason is quite simple -- suppose he had chosen you instead of Twilight. What would you have done?" The sound of a zipper alerted the room to a new presence. The chaos entity himself decided to show up. "That's right, Celly! What if I had chosen this false Twilight instead of the real one? I may look stupid, but I'm not stupid! I know all kinds of things -- and I knew enough about this -- human in a pony's body -- not to take him. So, Michael, you care to answer Celly's question?" he asked, flashing his teeth in a wicked smile, his jaundiced eyes glaring at me. "What are you doing here? Princess, didn't you banish him or something?" I asked worriedly, flashing her a look of fear. "Oh, relax, Michael, I'm not going to do anything to you -- yet -- but please, entertain me! Enlighten me! Elucidate me!" "I'd rather eliminate you instead, but -- truthfully, I don't really know what I would have done -- regardless of your desires, I'm still a sapient being -- and even though I might be wearing a copy of Twilight's body, it doesn't make me any less of a pony -- or human -- than before yesterday, before I woke up in this form," I replied, my muscles showing tension, my face a mask of steely resolve. The Draconequus laughed heartily at my retort. "Oh, Michael, you have so much to learn!" he guffawed before disappearing as quickly as he'd arrived. "Why does he have to do that?" I asked rhetorically. "Because he's a big Meany McMeanypants," Pinkie replied as she trotted over to me. "But he's okay, now -- he promised he wasn't going to hurt any more ponies here in Equestria! So you're safe! So how about a game of pin the tail?" "Can I take a rain-check on that one, Pinkie? I think I need to talk to Princess Celestia a bit more," I offered half-heartedly, a sheepish grin on my face. "Okie dokie loki, but don't keep me waiting too long! I want you to have some fun!" she chirped as she bounded away. I glanced to the alicorn at this point. "So -- if you don't mind my asking -- who was it who helped you with Discord? And why is he still prowling around Ponyville?" I asked. I flashed her a look of uncertainty and curiosity. I was troubled by the fact he was still on the loose and what Pinkie had said about him promising not to hurt ponies still rang hollow to me. "Are you familiar with the concept of alternate universes? There was another pony who carries the name of Michael Walker -- I recall you naming yourself as such -- but this pony was wearing a copy of Trixie Lulamoon's body -- and he proved to be quite capable of subduing Discord. As for why he remains free, he was ... persuaded to change his ways ... somewhat ... by your counterpart," she replied, still maintaining a serene smile. "I would have liked to have met him if that's the case -- I wonder if he might have been able to give me some advice," I mused. "I wonder why he chose to be Trixie, though -- and if he might even return to this universe." My expression brightened before Celestia dashed my hopes again. "I hate to say this, Michael, but your counterpart informed me that he would not be returning when I informed him of your presence. He indicated no desire to meet you, given the possibility of creating a paradox. He did however wish you the best of luck on your future endeavors, such as they may be." "Well, that's cool. I still would like to meet Trixie if that's possible," I offered. Some of the partygoers overheard that and glared at me in disapproval. "Do you know how much trouble she caused us the last time she was here?" one of them asked. A few more chimed in with similar sentiments and one told me never to mention that mare's name ever again. I hung my head in response to the sharp rebukes and offered a quiet apology as well. "Your desires seem to be misplaced, Michael -- and Trixie left with your counterpart, so she can't return, either," the alicorn chuckled softly. "I guess I just wanted to satisfy my curiosity, your Majesty," I opined. I sat in silence waiting for her to say something else before Pinkie returned again. "Hey, don't be such a Grouchy McGrouchypants, this party's for you! C'mon and have some fun! We even got you a present!" she chirped as she bounced in place, barely able to contain her excitement. "I hope to have some more words with you, Princess," I offered as I rose to my hooves and accompanied the pink party pony over to another table, one laden with quite a few gift-wrapped packages. I selected one at random, noting its cylindrical shape. I used my telekinesis to hold it in front of me, the top facing towards the ceiling. I opened the top, only to have a couple of spring-loaded coils shoot out of the canister, shocking me with the surprise. Quite a few ponies laughed at my misfortune. "Um, Pinkie, was that the present you intended to give me? Or was there a different one?" I asked, flashing her a look of helplessness. My mood had turned sour quite quickly, causing her to sidle against me, smiling warmly but not laughing. "Sorry about that, Mikey, here, let me get you a different one," she offered, grabbing a different package. Upon opening it, I was surprised to see a small plate with a slice of cake on it. "I thought the cake was on a different table," I mused before taking a bite. The flavors meshed wonderfully on my palate, seemingly exploding in my mouth. "Oooh, that's exactly what I wanted! Thank you so much!" I chirped, savoring the scrumptious taste of the MMMM cake. "It wasn't easy, but I gotcha another slice!" Pinkie exclaimed, highly pleased to see me smiling again. "Thank you, Pinkie -- I know I wasn't there to help you in your time of need -- and I know I probably don't deserve such a nice party -- but thanks again for thinking about me," I offered warmly. "Don't be such a silly billy! You still deserve this party because I didn't get to throw one for you last time! And if your wife decides to stop by again, I'll be sure to throw her a party, too!" she giggled. > "You Can't Go Back, Michael." > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "This cake is great, it's so delicious and moist!" I crowed, eliciting a bigger smile on Pinkie's face. "Glad you like it, Mikey! Now, how about a game of pin the tail?" she grinned. "Let me finish eating and I'll join you -- I don't think I've ever played that game, even when I was young," I declared before taking the last few bites of my cake. Truly such a treat was supposed to be savored, but I felt compelled to join Pinkie and the others for the game. I trotted over and she placed a blindfold on me while I held a cloth tail in my right fore-hoof -- how I managed to hold it baffled me, but I pushed that conundrum aside as I was spun around swiftly. The disorientation got to me a little as I stumble-stepped a few times, then fell over on my left side, my balance thrown off completely by the lack of sight and dizziness brought on by Pinkie's method of spinning me around. Once again I was the victim of laughter as I removed the blindfold, letting the tail fall on the floor. "Ugh, why did I know this was going to happen?" I asked rhetorically, eliciting a few more chuckles from some of the other ponies in the room. I sat on my haunches, glaring at the ponies who laughed at me. "Stop laughing at me!" I exclaimed indignantly -- but in my high-pitched voice, it sounded like petulant whining, which elicited more laughter. I glanced over to the Princess who tried to stifle a giggle or two and slowly trotted over to her. "Your Majesty, I think I've had enough fun," I groused, my words tinged with anger and frustration. "I think I'm gonna go home now." I heard more laughter at this mention and tried to ignore it as best I could as I squared myself and concentrated on returning to my home. I clenched my eyes shut once again, focusing on my bedroom in my homeworld, my horn glowing with a magenta aura before it turned white. I felt a dizziness overtake me and felt a headache coming on. I powered down my horn, figuring I had made it past the dimensional barrier and sat down once again. I opened my eyes to see myself surrounded by all the ponies who were still at the party in the library. "What happened? Why's it not working? I was trying to go home! Let me try this again," I stated as I readied myself once more, this time concentrating even harder on returning home. Again my horn glowed brilliantly, so much so that it started hurting the eyes of anypony who stared at it too long. "Michael! Stop it or you'll burn yourself out!" Twilight pleaded as she rushed over to me. I pushed aside her warning, redoubling my effort, pushing past the pain, desperately trying to go home. The pain grew to an incredible level, causing me to stop trying. Exhausted from this effort, I returned to my sitting position again. "Princess, why is it not working?" I asked fearfully. Tears began to well up at the corners of my eyes. "I'm afraid you can't go back, Michael -- perhaps the fabric of the space/time continuum has been repaired -- but by whom, I don't know," the alicorn mused. "But -- but -- that means -- I'm stuck here?!" I cried as the tears began to trickle down my cheeks. "But -- I have -- family and friends back home -- and -- and -- I -- I -- can't go back? But -- but -- WHY?!" I asked as my tone became even more despondent, the desperation turning to panic. "That's another reason why I warned you not to return, Michael -- now it looks like you've become one of my little ponies -- I believe I remember telling you that the consequences would be severe -- and now you're discovering that firsthoof," the alicorn stated, her words tinged with sympathy for my plight. She trotted over to me and sat beside me, wrapping her right wing around me. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way, Michael -- originally, I was rather upset at you for having disobeyed me -- I had my reasons, you know -- but your spirit is a wild one, one which cannot be contained or controlled easily. I am willing to make a place for you here in Ponyville, but you can no longer trot around in a copy of my student's body." "So -- what am I supposed to do now? And if I can't stay in a copy of Twilight's body, what am I supposed to be?" "Since you happen to be a male inside a mare's body, I suggest you become a stallion -- I cannot change you back into your human form if that's what you're asking -- but I can provide you with a stallion's body of your choice." With these words, she stood and gave me a little space. "Make your choice quickly, Michael -- I would prefer you be transformed before everypony present so they may get to know you in your new form." "I was hoping I'd be able to continue to run around in Twilight's body -- this has been quite fun for me -- but if I must be changed, then so be it. I'd still like to be a unicorn, perhaps a deeper purple -- I'm partial to blue and green as well -- but I'd prefer to stay away from yellow, orange, or red for my colors," I opined. "I'd also like to have a tall and lanky build." The words weren't even five seconds out of my mouth when I felt my body change and my visual perspective shift upwards a little. Instead of looking eye-to-eye with Twilight, I was now looking down a little at her. Everypony gasped at my new appearance, though I noticed a few mares with half-lidded expressions. "Is this more to your liking, Michael?" the Princess asked, her tone sounding a little warmer than I thought normal for her. "I don't know, your Majesty, I'd like a mirror so I can see what you've done for me," I replied, noting the change in pitch of my voice -- sounding awfully familiar to my ears, as though my human vocal characteristics had transferred over to my new body. The alicorn summoned a mirror for me and I trotted over to it, turning around and gazing at my new body. I noticed the lack of a cutie mark. "I like my new appearance -- but what about a cutie mark? Or is it because I'm in a new body I have to discover my special talent for it to show up? Or is it that I have a new purpose?" I asked quizzically. "You're closer than you think on quite a few of your hypotheses," Celestia chuckled. Rarity had trotted over to me and stood next to me -- I hadn't noticed this until I turned around again and bumped into her. I blushed at the contact, though her blush was much more noticeable. "Terribly sorry about that, darling!" she grinned. "What do you want, Miss Rarity?" I asked. "Princess Celestia does good work, I must say! Michael, darling, would you be interested in returning with me to my boutique? I would like to craft a few ensembles for you!" Twilight trotted over to me at this point, interjecting herself between the fashionista and me. "Rarity! He's staying here at the library, with me! Right, Michael?" she asked almost stridently, giving me a hopeful grin. "Hey, Mikey! Why not come back to the bakery with me? I can get you some more of your favorite cake!" Pinkie chirped. "Michael, I request you accompany me back to my castle in Canterlot -- I believe I may need some assistance with a few matters," the alicorn noted as she flashed me a slightly larger than usual smile. "Ugh, don't tell me -- these are the consequences of my returning despite your warning, aren't they?" I groaned in disappointment. My query elicited hearty laughter from the Princess -- so infectious was her laughter that I couldn't help but laugh as well, despite my fear of what lay ahead for me. "Well then, Michael -- shall we be going?" she asked, a note of expectation in her voice. I hung my head in response. "Fine," I groaned before I was enveloped in her golden aura, then teleported to a very ornately decorated room in the castle. > My Karma Ran Over My Dogma > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Welcome to your new home, Michael," the alicorn declared warmly. "Make yourself comfortable -- you're going to be here for awhile." "What, here in Equestria, here in Canterlot? Or here in the castle?" I asked as fear crept into my voice. I glanced around the room, noticing just how ostentatious the decorations adorning the walls were. Is this the accumulation of centuries of roaming the planet or what? "Well -- for right now, my room will be the extent of your world," she said. I noticed a change in the tone of her voice, making the hackles on the back of my neck stand up. My facial expression revealed the extent of my fear -- I never was very good at hiding my emotions, especially fear. "I will not harm you, but I need for you to stay here for right now." With that, she summoned a gold ring which she placed on my horn. "This is to ensure you don't try to leave -- I can't risk having you running around my castle and getting lost." As the ring secured itself to my horn, I felt a sickness in my stomach as my magic was snuffed out by it. "But -- your Majesty -- would you at least be willing to let me explore? I mean, you could always track my magic signature and summon me whenever you need me," I suggested. I sat on the floor on my hocks, lazily running a hoof along the inhibitor ring, trying to move it. I was rewarded by a sharp jolt of pain for my effort. "And you might encounter some ponies I'd rather you not see -- some of the nobles here don't approve of strangers. You will get to see more of the castle in due time -- just be patient, Michael." She sat on her bed and motioned for me to approach, her serene smile returning. "And I'll be happy to keep you company during the cold, cold nights," she grinned. Her intonation struck deep fear into me, causing all the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end. "But -- I was hoping Twilight would be my night-time companion -- and my day-time companion -- and -- I was hoping I could make her my new wife -- Brenda's been so mean to me for so long that I want --" I began before I was rudely cut off by the alicorn. "I cannot allow that, Michael -- you defied my order and returned -- what makes you think she'd accept your offer of marriage? You realize you cannot marry her without my blessing -- something you will have to earn," she stated firmly. "So you're saying there's a chance," I opined, a hint of hopefulness in my voice. My statement elicited a frown on the alicorn's face, her visage darkening slightly. "Yes, Michael, there is -- but it might take you awhile before I deem you worthy -- and don't ask me how well I think you're doing. I will let you know when you have earned my blessing and not before then, either. Until then, you will be my companion -- but you will have to stay here in my bedchamber until I feel I can trust you enough to let you roam the castle -- and you will be confined to the castle until I can trust you enough to let you wander around Canterlot --" "And only after that will I earn your trust to explore the whole of Equestria -- very well then, your Majesty -- whatever it takes to please you," I submitted, bowing to her. "You learn quickly, Michael. I admire that. Now come to me, we shall retire for the night," she commanded. She removed her regalia, placing the items on her night-stand. "Snuggle close to me, Michael -- I don't bite!" she chortled, her tone quite warm. "I've never slept with a Princess before," I mused as I climbed into her bed, snuggling up to her, my muzzle close to hers. She licked my muzzle with her tongue, causing me to giggle. Brenda woke up from her rest and searched the house for me. Unable to find me, she called on Xaviera to help look for me. Both of them searched the entire house from top to bottom -- even going so far as to go outside to search. Brenda took notice of my car, which I had used a considerable amount of magic in repairing and enhancing certain capabilities and functions it could now perform. Xaviera came outside to see it as well. "Mama, is that -- why does it look like that?" "Looks kinda like what he did -- sorta," Brenda replied. "I wonder how it works now," she mused as she went back into the house and fetched the keyfob to it. Her daughter went back into the house as well, gathering her daughters and taking them into the basement to watch TV. The front door slammed shut as Brenda went back out to the car, opening it and inserting the key in the ignition, turning the car on. "Analyzing driver data," came a flat monotone from the speakers. Brenda shrugged her shoulders. "What, I didn't know this car could talk," she said as she turned on the radio, tuning to a local hip hop station. The car shut off the radio in response to this. "Driver data unconfirmed, driver please state your name -- and please refrain from using the radio until analysis is complete," came a slightly harsher tone. "Why does your voice sound like my husband's when he was in a copy of -- I think he looked like -- what's her name? Twilight Sparkle? Or something like that?" "My voice module has been configured to resemble that of Twilight Sparkle -- please state your name," the car said, her tone a bit more insistent. "Brenda Walker -- and I'm looking for my husband -- last time I saw him, he was running around in a horse's body," she offered. A loud series of beeps came from the speakers. "Twilight is not a horse -- she is a pony, Brenda. Don't make that mistake again." "I need my husband back! How am I supposed to get to work? How am I supposed to pay the mortgage or the other bills? Where am I going to get the money I need to take care of all that?" she asked in frustration. "He left for Equestria, I just know it! He was here yesterday -- and then he disappeared in a puff of smoke! I didn't know he could teleport like that! Hey wait a minute -- if he went to Equestria -- I met with Princess Celestia yesterday -- can you contact her and see if she's seen him?" "Affirmative. Establishing communication link. Princess Celestia, there is a Brenda Walker who would like to ask you if you've seen her husband." A loud crackle reverberated off the walls of the Royal Bedchamber, waking me with its amplitude. Celestia remained asleep and continued snoring. I heard what sounded like Twilight's voice. "Princess Celestia, there is a Brenda Walker who would like to ask you if you've seen her husband," the voice stated in a flat-sounding monotone. I rubbed my eyes at this, wondering if it really was Twilight. "Um, Twilight? How'd you get in here?" I asked. "Not Twilight -- where is Princess Celestia?" "She's asleep -- laying next to me -- and tell Brenda that I am her husband -- how is she able to talk to me?" "I have established a communication link," she replied. "How did Brenda get to Equestria?" I asked almost incredulously. "She is not -- she is here on Earth," came the reply. "Who are you? Are you Twilight?" "No -- I am a 2005 Nissan Altima -- enhanced with a voice module equipped to replicate the auditory tonality of Twilight Sparkle," replied the car. "Wait -- you're the car I repaired yesterday?" I asked, my tone showing utter bewilderment. I wondered how such a thing was possible -- if the rift in the fabric of the space/time continuum had been repaired, how was such communication possible? "Mike! Please come back! I can't go to work without your help! Where am I supposed to get the money we need to pay the bills?" asked Brenda, her tone quite shrill to my ears. "I'll try to figure something out -- but Princess Celestia told me I can't go back," I replied sullenly. "Whaddayou mean, you can't come back? I need you to come back!" Brenda cried, the tone of her voice sounding like she was about to start shedding tears for real. Her hurt tone woke the alicorn laying beside me. "Michael, what's going on? Who do these voices belong to?" "Princess! I need my husband back!" "I can't send him back -- and he already tried to return -- but the rift which had been torn in the fabric of the space/time continuum has been repaired, making his return all but impossible. How else may I help you?" "Well -- if he can't come back, I will need a lot of money to take care of the bills he's leaving me with," she replied, her tone sounding quite angry. "And I don't want him cheating on me, either!" "You've been cheating on me, Brenda -- so why's it any different to you? You can't come here, so you can't do anything to me -- twenty years without sex is twenty years too long, Brenda -- I've already resigned myself to my fate," I stated bluntly. "That doesn't matter! You need to come back here -- doesn't matter how you get here -- just -- just -- get here!" she shouted. I heard the car's horn blare at this point. "Brenda, please refrain from pushing the horn," Twilight's voice stated in her flat monotone. "Muting horn," she added, causing the annoying blare to cease. I heard the soft sounds of sobbing in the background -- Brenda must have been crying at that point, but without being able to see, I wasn't sure. "Um, Twilight, is Brenda crying?" I asked uncertainly. "It would appear as such," came her flat tone in response to my query. "Is there something we can do? Some way of being able to help her?" I asked. "I will address that issue, Michael -- just lay down and go back to sleep," the Princess advised me. "I won't be able to sleep until I know Brenda's gonna be okay," I opined. My tone indicated a level of frustration and just a hint of anger. Being stuck like this, knowing I could talk to Brenda but not be with her really stuck in my craw. Hearing her voice her frustration didn't help my mood either -- and the Princess just telling me to go back to sleep? Unbelievable. "I told you, I will address this matter. Don't worry about it," she reiterated a little more forcefully. "I just wanna know what you're gonna do to help her," I said. "I can't tell you that," she stated with a degree of finality. She lit her horn and enveloped me in her golden aura, then teleported me -- I felt my world spin seemingly out of control, then my stomach dropped before I found myself standing in a familiar room. I was shocked to see a lavender unicorn laying in her bed, a light snoring sound coming from her mouth. Spike was curled in his basket at the foot of her bed. I sauntered softly to her bedside and nudged her shoulder, causing her to wake -- and upon seeing me, her eyes went wide with surprise. > Karma Police > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Huh? Michael? But I thought the Princess wanted you to be with her!" the librarian mused before gasping when she saw the gold ring around the base of my horn. "Did she put that ring on you?" "I think she didn't want me using my magic -- she told me she was going to keep me in her bedchamber -- I don't know why she sent me here," I opined, glancing around nervously. I almost instinctively knew that she could summon me back any time she wanted to. Twilight smiled at me anyway and used her magic to levitate the ring off my horn, causing me to gasp in surprise. "Did that hurt? No? Good, good. Now, why not snuggle with me and let me know what happened?" she grinned. "My wife managed to contact me," I offered as I climbed into her bed behind her. I breathed in the scent of her mane, nuzzling the back of her head, eliciting a soft giggle. "Hehehe, that tickles! Your wife? How did she do that?" "I don't know if I told you about my car -- well -- I used magic to fix it while I was still in your body -- and I guess Brenda discovered the car could communicate across the dimensional barrier, even though I can't teleport back home past it," I replied. "Hmm. So why did the Princess send you to me? I thought she wanted to keep you there," she mused softly. "Well -- Brenda asked for financial help and the Princess said she'd do something to help her -- but she wouldn't tell me what it was and sent me here. I don't know what's going on and I'd like to know how Celestia's gonna help my wife -- I hate being kept in the dark about it." I gently placed my left foreleg around the mare's barrel, earning a sigh of contentment from her. "Hmm, well -- she can be pretty cryptic sometimes -- I suppose she has her reasons. Come on, let's get some rest -- I know you've gotta be pretty tired. I know I am!" she giggled. "You are being so nice to me, Twilight -- thank you," I whispered in her ear. Though I couldn't see it, she smiled at my compliment. "I think it's only right for me to help you feel more at home -- and it certainly helps that you've been transformed into such a handsome stallion," she noted warmly. I thanked her once again before drifting off to sleep behind the mare -- she quickly drifted off after I did, the only sounds being that of our breathing as we slept. "So how are you going to help me?" asked Brenda. "And did I hear a pop? Are you still there? Where's my husband?" "I'm still here, Brenda -- and as for helping you, I'm going to send you a gift, which will be arriving in your vicinity very shortly," the alicorn stated warmly. A slight humming sound seemed to permeate the entire car. Brenda noticed everything take on a gold hue to it -- this seemed to frighten her before she remembered that it was a sign of Princess Celestia's magic. The car's sensors noted this as well. "Anomalous magic field detected -- source unknown," came the voice from the speakers. "Weight distribution uneven -- anomaly detected -- in trunk," the car added. The voice coming from the speaker indicated puzzlement, a tone Brenda noticed immediately. "What's going on?" she asked, her voice trembling with fear. "Weight capacity exceeded," the car stated in its flat monotone. "Remove excess weight from trunk please." Brenda got out of the car and popped the trunk -- and upon doing so, her eyes went wide with shock and surprise. "Is this for real? What -- where did all this come from?" she asked, then picked up a few of the coins to look at them. She let them clink back to the rest of them in the trunk and started laughing. "Brenda? Are you still there?" came the alicorn's voice from the speakers. "Yes, Princess -- did you do this?" "Is that enough to help you?" "Uhh, yeah, I think so," she replied, still dumbstruck by the sight of the trunk completely filled with gold coins. "Please remove excess weight from trunk," the car reiterated in a more urgent tone. "Um, I'll get on that right now," Brenda stated before going back into the house, returning shortly with Xaviera following behind her. They had a number of plastic bags and began filling them with the coins -- and adjusting the weight so the bags wouldn't rip apart. They eventually filled thirty bags with almost twenty pounds of coin in each one, until the last of the coins had been removed from the trunk. "Amazing how clean that trunk is -- looks like brand new," Brenda mused. "What are we gonna do about the car? This is a lot of money," Xaviera noted. "We should wait for Mike to come back," Brenda replied before turning off the car and removing the key fob and pocketing it. "I'm gonna call Katrina and have her take me to sell some of this gold -- and then to the bank to pay off the house," she added. "Can I have some of this?" asked Xaviera, eyeing the gold greedily. Her anticipation had her shifting her weight from one foot to the other as though she were doing the pee-pee dance. "You can have one bag," Brenda responded tersely, her words tinged with more than a little anger as she cast a stern glance at her youngest daughter. "And don't sell it at the same place I'm going to." The two of them took all the bags into the house, placing them in the master bedroom. Brenda made a few calls and within about an hour, she was on her way to sell a bag of gold coin. Xaviera called her other sister who had a car and a license to take her and her children to another place to sell some of the gold. Brenda gave a bag of gold coin to each of her children as a gesture of generosity, though she considered it more of a bother than not, especially considering the fact that there were relatively few places to sell the gold than she would have liked. Each bag of gold coin fetched $100,000 even though that was about half the bullion value of the gold itself. Twilight and I were woken by the morning sunlight streaming through her bedroom window. I yawned and stretched out, accidentally bumping against the mare. "Oops, sorry about that, Twilight," I offered sheepishly. "That's okay, Michael -- I haven't slept that soundly in quite awhile," she replied warmly, flashing a genuine smile. "How about a kiss?" I asked, my grin widening. "Don't push your luck," she chortled before getting out of the bed and stretching her legs before trotting to the bathroom and closing the door behind her. A moment later, I heard the flushing of a toilet before she re-entered the room. I rose to my hooves after stumbling out of her bed and trotted to the bathroom. I was rather surprised to discover that even as a stallion I suffered from a case of morning wood -- I had thought that being transformed from human to pony would prevent that from happening. Twilight noticed my glans and averted her gaze, blushing a little. "Michael, please! Don't show off like that!" she said in exasperation. "Huh, that's what I get -- Twilight, this only happens in the morning when I need to pee," I explained. "Sorry to display it like that, but I don't have anything to cover it up." "Did that happen to you when you were a human?" she asked as her curiosity got the better of her. "Yeah, seemed like it never failed -- every morning I'd wake up like that, needing to pee to relieve some of the tension," I replied as I stood in the bathroom, looking at a depression in the floor. I aligned myself correctly and managed to do all right, then flushed the toilet. "Hey, Twilight, can I take a shower?" "Yes, but don't use all the hot water," she responded. "I need a shower, too!" "Sure, but would you be willing to join me?" I asked, the grin evident in my words. "You're terrible!" she chuckled in reply. Brenda had one of her daughters take her to Peoria to sell some of the gold, then went to the casino nearby. The two of them spent the entire day playing various slot machines and hitting the blackjack table before going to a restaurant for dinner. "Which restaurant you wanna go to, mama?" asked Katrina as the two of them exited the casino and made their way across the parking lot. "Can we go to Red Lobster?" asked Brenda. "Yeah, there's one up the road from here -- good idea, I've never had lobster before," Katrina replied. The two of them got into the car, Katrina taking the driver's seat. The trip to the restaurant was fairly quick, the traffic rather light that day. "So, mama, what's gonna happen if Mike doesn't come back?" "I dunno, 'Trina -- I suppose I can sell the house and his car and find a place closer to where I work," Brenda responded, a hint of anxiety coloring her words. "What, you're not gonna miss him?" "Well -- I suppose I will, but -- he's never proven himself to be the man that I need," came her answer. She wrinkled her face up as she remembered some of the things he had done to displease or disappoint her. "Anyway, I've got someone new I'm seeing -- and with him gone, that makes it a little easier for me." "But mama! You're still married to him!" "Yeah, but I can take care of that pretty easily -- and with this much money, I really don't think I'll miss him all that much anyway." The two of them continued the conversation over a dinner of lobster, then drove back to the casino to do some more gambling before retiring for the night in the nearby hotel. > Instant Karma > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brenda's son came by the house to check up on his mother, only to find her gone before going through the house to see who was home. He met Xaviera downstairs watching TV with her daughters. "Hey, Xavi, where's Mama?" he asked as he paid scant attention to the TV. He searched the room for something, but not finding anything he wanted, he went into the kitchen and began looking through the fridge to find something to either eat or drink. Even though he doesn't live with us, he still seems to feel a sense of entitlement and commonly takes whatever he wants, regardless of whether he paid for it or not -- and when it comes to our refrigerator, he never paid for anything in it. "She went to the boat yesterday, but didn't come back," the girl replied before getting up to get something to drink herself. Her brother had already taken a can of soda out of the fridge and started drinking it. "So, where's Mike? I need him to take me to Decatur," he noted. He had friends in that town, though the activities they engaged in were of dubious legality, to put it charitably. "Mike's been gone for a couple of days -- I think he got turned into a pony or something," she answered. "So I guess he can't take you." "If he's not here, maybe I can take the car -- where's his keys?" he asked, a hopeful tone to his voice. He particularly enjoyed driving my car when he could, but I couldn't trust him to bring it back when he promised to. If I had known he was wanting to take my magically enhanced vehicle, I would have steadfastly refused his requests. "Brenda left them in her room upstairs," Xaviera replied matter-of-factly. "But there's something weird about that car." "Whatever, I need to get to Decatur -- got people waiting on me," he said as he tromped up the stairs and into his mother's room. He scanned the room and found the key fob and went outside, a big grin on his face. "Don't wait up on me," he said as he left the house, letting the front door slam behind him. He took a moment to examine the car, noting the unusual paint job, which caused him to snicker in amusement. He unlocked the car and sat in the driver's seat and put the key in the ignition and turned the car on. "Analyzing driver data," came the flat-sounding voice from the speakers. "What the fuck is this?" he asked rudely before turning on the radio to check for his favorite station. He adjusted the seat and steering wheel to his liking, but the car had other plans, returning them to their original position. "Driver data unconfirmed -- driver, please state your name," the voice announced, a hint of annoyance evident in the tone. "I ain't gotta do shit," he replied mirthfully as he cranked the car up and attempted to put it in reverse. The shift knob seemed to be bolted in place, though he tried as hard as he could to move it, his right foot firmly on the brake. He grunted in exertion as he tried to force the shifter into reverse. "Attempted thievery -- unauthorized use prohibited," the voice stated coldly as the car shut itself off. "What the fuck?!" he asked in disbelief. "What the fuck is this shit? I'm trying to get to Decatur! This is Mike's car -- he told me I could use it while he's gone," he said quite angrily. "Voice analysis complete -- 96.2 per cent match -- Marlon James -- checking files," the car stated in its flat monotone once again. Marlon tried turning the key in the ignition several times but the car refused to crank for him. During this time, the car's computer searched internet files to look for the unauthorized user and found matches in a criminal database. Surreptitiously, the seat belt fastened itself around the young man, strapping him into the seat. "I didn't do that," he said as he tried to remove the unwanted restraint. "Do what? File check complete -- criminal background check performed -- Marlon James, you have five outstanding warrants for your arrest," the car announced. The man's face went pale as the blood drained from it. The car sent a silent alert to the local law enforcement agencies as a magenta glow surrounded it as it prepared to teleport. "No! No! Let me out!" he shouted as he fought the restraints to no effect. "Proceeding to nearest police station," the car announced almost cheerfully before teleporting to the local county sheriff's office. The young man panicked for real now, but so strongly was he held fast by the seatbelt he could do nothing more then thrash about wildly. A moment later, three sheriff's deputies surrounded the car, their sidearms drawn. The driver's door was opened automatically by the car, then the restraint around the man removed. Once freed, the young man bolted but didn't get far as he was tackled to the ground by one deputy, then held down by the other two while the first one grabbed Marlon's left arm, placing handcuffs on him before reading him his Miranda Rights, then escorting him to the booking office. The car had already closed its doors and teleported back to the house before securing itself, arming the alarm and turning itself off. Taking a shower as a pony was quite different from doing so as a human -- and I needed a little help to make sure I was completely clean. Twilight helped me as much as she could, but when I asked her to join me or let me wash her in return, she giggled and called me a silly pony. I finished rinsing out the soap and started toweling off as she entered to take a shower herself. "Michael, please allow me some privacy," she stated above the flow of water. "Okay, Twilight," I acquiesced and exited the bathroom to finish drying off in the adjoining bedroom. I trotted over to the mirror to begin brushing my mane and tail, still not completely recognizing the pony's face staring back at me. "Looks like it's gonna take longer for me to acclimate myself to my new appearance," I stated aloud to myself, also observing the mouth movements of my reflection. I took a moment to examine my teeth, noting that I needed to brush them as well. I went back to the bed and sat on the edge of it, waiting for Twilight to finish showering. "Hey, Twi, how much longer ya gonna be? I need to brush my teeth," I noted loudly at the closed door. "Gimme a minute, Michael," she replied before brushing her teeth. I groaned audibly upon hearing the water in the sink running, the sounds of her toothbrush and gargling mouthwash causing a little annoyance. Presently she opened the door and grinned broadly at me. "All yours, Michael!" she chirruped. "Thanks," I muttered before calling back to her. "Is there a spare toothbrush?" The words weren't even out of my mouth but two seconds when a duplicate of her toothbrush magically appeared before me, then changed colors to match mine. "Here you go, Michael," she said from her room upon making a duplicate toothbrush for me. I raised my eyebrows in surprise at this feat before taking the purple toothbrush with my right forehoof and squeezing some toothpaste onto it with my left. I silently wondered just how flexible my hooves could be as I began brushing my teeth. Presently I finished and rinsed out my mouth, cupping my right forehoof to the water, amazed by my flexibility. "Are you finished, Michael?" she asked loudly as I rinsed out the toothbrush. I placed it on the sink and returned to her bedroom, noticing that she was sitting on the edge of her bed. Upon seeing my return, she smiled softly. "Yes, Twilight -- but what are we doing today? Since I'm stuck in Equestria now, perhaps you could show me around town and enlighten me about everything," I offered optimistically. The words had barely left my lips when a flash of light and a loud pop ushered in the arrival of a certain solar princess. "I hope you enjoyed your stay with Twilight, Michael," the alicorn noted warmly, her trademark smile not faltering in the slightest. "I believe you will be returning with me now." "Princess, please let him stay here with me!" the lavender unicorn pleaded as she sidled over to me and draped her right foreleg over my withers. "I had no idea he had such an impact on you," Celestia mused, her smile widening ever so slightly. "Very well then. Michael, treat my student with respect -- do not hurt her, for if you do -- I don't think I have to tell you what would happen." And with that admonishment, she teleported away leaving another puff of smoke in her wake. "What did you do for Brenda?" I asked, my words too late for the alicorn to hear them. I stamped a hoof in protest as the smoke dissipated, though Twilight tightened her hold on me a little before releasing me and returning to her previous position. "I don't think you should worry too much about it, Michael -- if the princess helped her, that should be enough to ease your concern about her -- and from what you were telling me about her earlier, I'm curious to know why you feel any compassion towards her at all." "It's just that -- we've been together for such a long time -- maybe I got too used to being around her or something -- I dunno, Twilight. I suppose I should stop worrying about her -- she's been so mean to me for so long, I've forgotten what it's like to feel love," I noted, a downbeat tone to my words adding to their gravity.