Chapter 1: I have a tail? SWEET!
This is the story about the weirdest thing to ever happen to us.
My name is Aege, although now you can call me Add. I was an orphan and the only time I ever went outside was with my best friend, Seth. Naturally, since I didn't go out much, I developed an obsession with video games. Also karate. I could literally kick down a brick wall by using energy. This may sound crazy, but I'm from an alternate earth. We know this perfectly well. Recently, we discovered we can use Ki. Like Dragon ball. Only better.
Today I was going to comic-con with Seth. I was dressed as Add, and he was dressed as Rodea, from some new game. I only had Seth's costume to go by with what he looked like. Then a merchant walked up to us, dressed as, you guessed it. The merchant. The omnipresent jerk (he really is everywhere) asked if we want the finishing pieces to our costumes. Like idiots, we said yes, and so he somehow drugged us, put the Dynamo controls into my mind and gave Seth a tail. And a mechanical body.
And then we fell through the floor. As we woke up, we saw that everything was all crazy, and a creature which was a weird mix-up of things walked over to us. Then the crazy pony princesses showed up (they looked quite human too), saw us with him, thought we were allies because he was talking to us (explaining what's going on and talking about his master plan to sacrifice himself so that people trust the princesses) and turned us to stone.
I woke up in stone 1000 years later, as I went into cryo-sleep due to being part mechanical (I had a control chip in my head for Dynamo controls). Poor dissy was awake the whole 1000 years and I wasn't sure how long Rodea was asleep. We told him about how today would be his escape, due to having watched that episode of the show. Discord became actually crazy and evil though after 1000 years, and didn't care about what we had to say.
Eventually, the cutie mark crusaders showed up, got in a fight and released him. They also made me sad by saying this about us.
Flashback: 3 minutes ago
"What're those things there?" Applebloom asked after seeing Rodea and Add (you got your speaking now. You happy?)
"Those creatures were called assistants of chaos. They helped discord to spread chaos throughout Equestria." Cheerilee said
*Cough cough* BullS*** *Cough cough* Seth, or rather, Rodea thought to the other statues.
Yeah, that is pretty BullS***. We just arrived and they shot us with a rainbow laser for talking to discord. I thought back.
Why didn't we just dodge the Deus ex rainbow cannon?
Well we were confused about why they were floating without using wings
So, what are my two 'assistants' talking about? Discord asked.
There's a reason why we block you out of our mental conversations, you know!
Is it because I'm too cool. And why don't I get good text colours like you?
What the what are you even thinking Discord?
Back to now
Discord had been freed, and so had we.
"We're finally out." I said, relieved that we were free.
"Well so is Discord, and I am flying right now so I'm pretty sure we have powers. Also, I have a gun."
"WHERE THE FU** DO YOU EVEN GET THESE THINGS? And wait, flying? Powers? Costumes? Are there dynamos behind me?"
"If dynamos are the floaty purple things, then yeah. There are." He said, eating a cookie.
"If I try to comprehend you, I think my head will explode." I stated simply. He was never this random. This was probably discord's influence, meaning he must have been awake in stone for longer than me. This was bad.
"Do you feel like attacking the pony princess?" I asked.
"No. Do you?" He replied simply
This was good. It meant that he hadn't been corrupted. Just then, we heard an explosion and ran over to it. Well, I just jumped on the dynamos and they glided and Rodea just flew.
"We should probably call each other by our character names to confuse enemies. Okay?" I questioned
"Got it." We arrived there at the scene where discord was about to he hit by the harmony beam but he teleported and grabbed the elements. He was about to send them out of the atmosphere with a charged throw, when he was suddenly struck by Rodea's tail and a dynamo.
"What is this?" He asked. His reply was The dynamos shooting out an electrical orb which exploded upon contact. Rodea quickly flew over him and I made the dynamos make a sword shape. The Dynamo sword was kicked into the air to Rodea, who swung down while rotating, like sonics jumps, only with a blade. The slash sent discord into the wall of the castle, and the elements were dropped in front of the ponies who were nearly killed by discord
"USE THEM NOW!!" Me and Rodea yelled to the ponies. That snapped them out of their trance and they quickly ran over, put on the elements and began to hover in the air. It looked as though the rainbow was made of pure Ki. They shot the rainbow and just to make sure, the rainbow flew over to us, as though it were judging us, before colliding with discord and turning him to stone.
"Justice has been served." I stated whilst high fiving Rodea. "Also, nice moves."
"Now, what are you and why did you help us?" The purple unicorn asked. I'm pretty sure she was the main character.
Our joint reply was "Crap."
I had watched a bit of the show and knew that the purple unicorns name was Twilight sparkle. The others were a white unicorn named Rarity, a cyan Pegasus named Rainbow dash, a yellow Pegasus named Fluttershy and two earth ponies, pink and orange respectively, named pinkie pie and applejack.
"Well, I am Add!" I proclaimed, both to myself and to the world, specifically the ponies.
"And I am Rodea!" Announced Seth
"And together we are... I dunno." We ended together
The ponies just looked at us, unamused, except for the pink one.
"I already know who you all are." I said
"Yeah, cause you're cartoon characters." Rodea continued
"What's a cartoon?" The ponies asked "And how are we characters? Is it like a book?"
This was gonna take a while
Third person