The Most Horrible of Things
Rarity was quite pleased as she exited the market area with her bounty of Excelsior oranges, each piece of fruit appraised and chosen to meet her specific need. Which was eating them. She did love her oranges, and was most excited to find a vendor selling them this late in the season—the leaves in Ponyville had already blossomed into magnificent chromatic displays. She would not be caught dead without the proper fruit with which to enjoy the wondrous show.
Rarity spotted Lyra out of the corner of her eye. She moved to wave, but something about Lyra caused her to freeze. Her vitreous orbs literally grew to the size of saucers as she dropped her prize, the oranges spilling out like a foal’s bag of marbles. A neutral frown crossed her face as Lyra approached.
Lyra smiled. “Hey, Rarity!”
Rarity remained frozen in place.
“You, uh, dropped your oranges. Let me pick those up for you.” Lyra quickly scooped up the oranges and placed them in Rarity’s saddlebag, where they would have originally gone were she not in such a hurry to relocate to her residence. Lyra looked over the shocked mare, whose eye twitched. “You okay?”
Rarity’s lower lip quavered. Lyra raised an eyebrow.
“Umm, I’m just going to let you do your thing. See you later.” And with that, Lyra sauntered off.
Applejack trotted by hauling her depleted cart of apples, stopping when she came up next to Rarity. “Hey, Rarity, how ya doing?”
“The horror… the horror…”
Applejack poked Rarity, who jumped at the intrusion. “Ya look like you seen a ghost. What’s eatin’ you?”
Rarity squeezed her eyes shut. “Oh, Applejack, it was horrible! Lyra walked by, and—”
“Slow down, Rarity. What did Lyra do to you?”
“To me?” Rarity held a hoof to her chest. “It’s not I whom she offended, but all of fashion!”
“Fashion?” Applejack peered down the street, where Lyra was talking to another vendor. She looked back at Rarity and chuckled. “Lyra’s lookin’ right pretty there in her white dress.”
Rarity snorted. “First of all, it’s not white. It’s eggshell.” She flipped her mane. “And any shade or hue of white is highly inappropriate for this season. She should know better!”
“Really?” Applejack buried her face into her hoof. “You’re offended over her dress color?”
“As I very well should be!”
Applejack rubbed her chin. “...well, why don’t you give her a new one?”
“I can’t just give her a new one,” Rarity said, “that would defeat the purpose of being a business owner. I only give you free dresses because you’re my friend.”
Applejack hummed. “Well, aren’t you an' Lyra friends?”
“Nominally, I suppose.” Rarity looked down. “But we’re not friends like you and I are friends.”
“You mean, bes—”
Rarity shoved Applejack, who let out a warm chuckle. “Don’t say it like that. Ponies will get ideas.”
“Well, I suppose you could sell it to her on the spot.”
“You mean,” Rarity said as she looked at Applejack, “like a vendor?”
Applejack shrugged. “Why not? I’m pretty sure you could sell ice to yaks.”
“Hm, thank you.” Rarity smiled, then steeled herself. “Well, I’m off to correct this grievous stain upon fashion!”
Applejack watched Rarity trot off determinedly. A smile on her face, she went on home.
Rarity walked over to Lyra with a spring in her step and gusto in her heart, finally closing in on her at the other edge of the marketplace. Rarity came up to Lyra and poked her in the withers, Lyra turning around in response.
“Hi, Rarity! What do you want to talk about?”
Rarity gulped and steeled herself. “Well, Lyra, I was just wondering if you’d like a new dress.”
“Why?” Lyra glared at Rarity. “What’s wrong with the one I have on?”
“Oh. no no no no no no no!” Rarity said with a weak laugh, “that’s not what I was implying at all! It’s just that your current attire is reminiscent of last season’s wear.” She looked into Lyra’s eyes. “You wouldn’t want to be out of style, would you?”
“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Lyra said. “It’s a nice color, and Bon Bon likes it.”
Rarity bit her lip. This was proving to be a harder sell than she had originally imagined. Normal, decent ponies cared about being in style. Rarity still gave a winning grin. “Are there any other colors Bon Bon prefers?”
“Well, she likes yellow and green.”
Rarity’s eye twitched again. “Is that all? Are there any other colors that spring to mind?”
Lyra looked up. “Hmm… well she does like gray.”
Rarity pursed her lips. What kind of pony has a preference for gray? Sure, it was in season, but who would enjoy gray out of—it was in season!
Rarity tugged on Lyra. “Well, you’re in luck! I happen to have a lovely cotton dress in gray that should fit you!”
“Am I going to have to pay for this? Because I’m kind of out of money right now.”
“I’ll open up a credit account for you.” Anything to get you out of that dreadful outfit, Rarity thought as she grit her teeth.
“Oh, that sounds great! You’re such a great friend.”
Rarity snickered. “My pleasure.”
It was evening when Lyra finally emerged from Rarity’s boutique, finely clothed in a new gray-colored dress. Rarity stood at the door and waved.
“I hope you like your new dress, Lyra!”
Lyra winked. “You can count on it! Bon Bon’s going to love tearing this off!”
Rarity blinked as Lyra walked off. She gently pushed the door shut, pulled out her chaise lounge and slumped onto it. She pulled out her oranges and sobbed as she peeled and ate them.
She sniffed mournfully. All that hard work for nothing.