> Human <-----> Celestia > by TheDawsonator1 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Murphy's law is law...that's not a double negative...(Jason) > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was another beautiful day in Ponyville, this is a place that is always sunny, perfect weather (Because the Pegasi control the weather, DUUUUUHHH!) and there hasn’t been any strange happenings in a while… Wait…uh oh…I should really be on the lookout, it’s a perfect day, no happenings in a while…it could happen at any moment! You know of which I speak, something WILL happen, like an episode of it happening. A villain, the CMC blowing up the town, Lyra Heartstrings molesting my hands with her weird obsession! It will be something! And if it’s something, Twilight will have something to do with it, she always does. She's like Murphy's Law incarnate or something. I was heading there anyway, I need a book on how to ask a mare I really like out, her name is Graceful Flight (Pony names are quite cheesy) and I feel like she’s the one, you know…BUTIHAVENOIDEAHOWTOASKHEROUT! So I enter the castle to find Princess Celestia and Twilight going over something together, some kind of experiment. I guess I'll quickly grab my book and get out before something happens. “Good Morning, Jason” Celestia greets “Morning, Princess! How are you today?” I greet back. “Just fine, I am here to watch Twilight making a possible new spell on Alicorns being able to sense magical energy signatures” Celestia answers “Sounds pretty interesting” I say “You’re welcome to watch if you want, Jason” Twilight says Well, I am not in hurry or anything, nothing too pressing today, I may as well. “Sure, why not?” I say as I sat in a chair “Wonderful. Shall I get started, Pr—Celestia?” Twilight asks “Please continue” Celestia says, giving Twilight the incentive to start. Twilight then charged her horn full of magical energy and she concentrated hard, mental arrows seem to be pointing to Celestia strongly, I have no magic so none to me but multiple arrows were pointing right outside the door to the Unicorns, Pegasi and Earth ponies of Ponyville. I imagine the stronger signatures were the unicorns due to their magical connections they have. Twilight looked each way and charged more energy but lightning was starting to come out of Twilight's horn along with a pure white aura around herself. “Twilight, lower your magic output quickly!” Celestia warned Twilight. Twilight was trying to do so, I could tell but the magic was not lowering it's power. “What’s going on? It won’t go down!” Twilight was panicking “Keep trying!” Celestia says Too late it seems, Twilight’s going to some sort of surge the did a quick burst of lightining and OWWWWWW AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! OH LORD THAT HURTS! HEAD HURT! PAIN TOO MUCH! SO MUCH BLAAAAACKK….. “Princess? Princess Celestia?” I hear Twilight voice Ow, no need to prod my head Twilight. “Twilight, will you please stop that?” I said a bit rudely “I’m sorry Celestia, you had been unconscious for ten minutes now” Twilight says Wait, what? She’s calling me Celestia and my voice sounds all wrong, IT’S GIRLY! I open my eyes and I got Twilight’s concerned face over me. “Twilight? Did you bump your head with whatever you did? It’s me Jason! Not Celestia!” I say “But how can that be? You sure you are alright, Celestia?” Twilight asks with a confused look on her face. I have no idea what’s going on but then I head a male groaning, but that’s weird there’s no other guy but me and Spike’s not around, he’s in Canterlot with Princess Luna. I turn my head and is that me trying to get up? What the--? “Twilight, my former student, what just happened?” the Me over there asks What?? What the hell!? Is that me over there trying to talk like Celestia? I…have no idea what’s going on anymore… “Jason, good to see you’re okay” Twilight says to the me over there “Twilight? It’s me, Celestia” Not-Me says “And I’m Jason! But why’s me over there?” I say “I am Celestia but I seem to be seeing myself over there calling herself Jason” Celestia says at the same time. We both inspect our bodies, I saw white hooves…I’m a pony! And there’s a feeling in my hair…it’s flowing…with Celestia’s colours….OH NO! NO! DOES THAT MEAN THAT I’VE…. “Then, Jason must be in Princess Celestia's body and Princess Celestia is in Jason's body” Twilight deduces Both Celestia and I look in shock it must have been what happened, I proceeded to do the most undignified scream ever. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” I screamed Six hours later...okay it was six seconds later really... “AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I finished screaming I took breaths as I let it sink in, oh god, this feels so wrong! My legs feel wrong, my entire body is wrong even my lower area feel wrong! Oh god, what if I go into heat while in this thing? NO BAD JASON! BAD THOUGHTS! AWAY FOUL THOUGHTS! “Well, this is most unexpected” Celestia-in-me says “This…does not feel right! Can we get to the part of me being back in my own body? This is all wrong!” I ask Twilight “I…don’t even know what I did to make you go into each other’s bodies, I don’t even know what made me do…what I did” Twilight says with a shamed look on her face “YOU MEAN WE’RE STUCK THIS WAY!?” I shouted at Twilight “Jason, please calm yourself, I am sure Twilight and I can find a way to reverse this” Celestia says “But you have no magic at all, because I don’t have magic being from Earth and I now do but have no idea how to use it and now I am now the Princess of a country I have no idea how to rule. In short, Shit hit the fan and sprayed down our mouths” I say in a panic. We are so screwed! I have no idea how royalty works or anything, oh what do I do? Where's the magic solution when you need it? “We shall not give up, Jason. While these events that have transpired have been most unusual, we will find a way. For now, I suggest we should try get used to our own bodies and live out our lives until such time, a way to reverse this is found” Celestia says It’s weird hearing that in my voice, but I guess I have no choice. “Yes, but the two of you can’t go parading about acting like yourselves, you’ll cause a lot of unwanted attention and chaos, not to mention you Jason, must live out Celestia’s life without any possible consequences happening and Celestia must out Jason’s life. It’s a huge challenge within itself” Twilight explains “That’s true, but I have no idea how royalty works, I don’t even talk like Celestia” I say “You have no idea how weird it is to hear myself talking like you” Celestia says “Amen” I agree to her comment. “I recommend telling Luna about this, she’ll help you out and also see if we can get Princess Cadence to help out as well. Also Twilight, please keep this between Spike and your friends only. Should word get out of this, there will be trouble for all of us and when we’re in public you call me Jason and Jason, Celestia” Celestia advises Great, this is what happens when you ignore a clear Murphy's Law sign, you get in Celestia body while she takes yours. I can just hear somepony saying “Why are you complaining? You got the body of Princess FREAKING Celestia!” I’d rather my own body and I’m sure Celestia more than wants hers back. “Well, why don’t we try getting used to our bodies for the moment, both of you are still on the ground” Twilight advises “Easier said than done, this body doesn’t feel right at all, I feel like my legs from my body were replacing my hands” I groan as I made my first attempt Alright, I manage to get my front hooves on balance, now to get the back legs on annnd... WOOOOAHHH! CRASH! CRASH! Owwww! That faceplant totally hurt…and judging from Celestia over there, she didn’t have any better luck than me. “Oh dear, I did not think about being less pain resistant in your body than my one” Celestia said as she managed to sit up. “Pain resistant you may be, but that faceplant fucking hurt!” I was holding my face with my hooves in pain “Well to be fair, it wasn’t too bad of an attempt. I managed to get in my human body after a few minutes but I could also teach you, Jason how to walk as a pony as I am one myself” Twilight tries to be the bright side. “Twilight first, human girls are much thinner and have a different center of gravity like I am sure Stallions did, if you went into my body you wouldn’t have the same used to as your human self would in that world you went to. Secondly, I can’t explain to Celestia walking cause…well I just walk, I don’t know how it works I just do it, it’s natural as breathing and finally, Celestia towers of you in size and I have about a very limited time to learn to walk as a pony” I point out the flaws in that “We’ll just work with what we have Jason, I am sure Celestia can master your body before anypony notices she…he…is missing” Twilight says “Thank the luck gods/goddesses that it’s Saturday, which means Celestia here has a day or two to learn my body” I say, knowing Celestia has time. “But I’m afraid I said I’d be back for lowering the sun which means we have about 6 hours before I am supposed to be back” Celestia says A scream from Twilight just deafened our ears. “What? WHAT!? WHAT NOW?” I panicked “I just realized since Jason knows no magic, he has to get used to it and HE CAN’T MOVE THE SUN!” Twilight just realized. “Oh shit, that’s right…does Luna know how to do it?” I realize this problem and a probably solution “Yes, we taught each other the spells to raise and lower both Sun and Moon in case one of us…ever disappeared, she’s a bit rusty but she can do it” Celestia says, clearly remembering Nightmare Moon. Oh good, then Luna can buy me some time to get used to Celestia’s life and maybe teach me to raise and lower the sun. “Awesome, than she can raise the Sun and Moon while I get used to this body” I say “But not for too long before ponies notice, especially the nobles. Twilight, you know how to send letters to Spike, correct?” Celestia asks “I remember the spell like the back of my hoof, Princess” Twilight answers “Excellent, I need you to send a letter to Spike who should be with Luna right now, tell him what has happened and tell him to tell Luna what has happened also. Explain what must be done and tell her to come here with Spike, do you understand?” Celestia gives an order “I understand” Twilight nods “Then go summon your friends here and explain the situation, and they need to swear to the utmost secrecy of this issue” Celestia adds “Okay, I’ll get to work” Twilight says as she rushes out the room. We are in some shit, but I am not failing Celestia and compromising all of Equestria possibly so I will try my best to get through this. > The Plan of Secrecy (Celestia) > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- This has been a most strange turn of events today, I would never have expected myself to have swapped bodies with Equestria’s only human: Jason. He is very shocked at these turns of events as am I, although I do not show it from centuries of hiding expressions (I have been banned from poker on more than one occasion). Walking on hind legs in most unusual, then again, minotaurs do walk on their hind legs but they have hoof feet instead of these toes, I have only seen Jason with these toes once when I first saw him in the hospital. I sincerely wonder how Twilight had managed this kind of body through the mirror to Sunset Shimmer’s new home. About a few minutes ago, I had sent Twilight to get her friends and Luna to come here in this castle, I hope Luna is up to the task, I have put so much pressure on her already with the reinstatement of her Night duties but if there’s anypony besides Twilight I can put my utmost faith in, it’s in my own sister. SLAM! Twilight must be back, and more hoofsteps must be her friends and Luna. “Princess, Jason, we’re back!” Twilight says “SISTER! TIS REALLY THOU THAT RESIDES IN JASON’S BODY?” Luna had shouted her Royal Canterlot voice Everypony had covered their ears at Luna’s shout. She looked around and coughed. “We are sorry, we forgot about our voice. But is it really thou, mine sister?” Luna asks me “Unfortunately, Lulu” I answer with regret. “DEAREST HEAVENS HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO OUR DEAREST SISTER?” Luna shouted again “I dunno, Princess Luna. All I know is that Twilight went all lightning and glowy and we sort of swapped and blacked out” Jason says in my voice. Good heavens, that is somewhat disturbing to hear your own voice by somepony else. “Oooh! You get to be a Princess now, Jasie! How cool is that?” Pinkie bounces “Er, I’d rather not have the royal tour” Jason shook his/her(?) head “But you are simply divine, you get to live every filly’s dreams of being a Princess! Isn’t that just divine?” Rarity says “Ah ha! No! First off, I’m a boy, secondly, I do not have some stupid dream of being royalty or some big star, especially in my world, those guys get addicted to drugs and alcohol and proceed to go to rehab just to do the same thing again for attention” Jason makes a comment at the idea “Thy world is still most strange to us Jason, and a bit on the rough it seems” Luna comments I do not know about anypony in the room but I cannot figure as to how Twilight has lost control of her magic. It’s never happened before in all the years I’ve trained her…unless it was a magical surge. But a unicorn/alicorn can only have 5 surges in their lifetime, all of which happen in foalhood and Twilight has had…four before this…how did I forget this? Twilight’s power is much more powerful than a normal unicorn and now she’s an Alicorn the power is much stronger. Twilight has a case of delayed surge, something very rare, where the last of the magical surges come in adulthood, this allowed her to be in more control then her entrance exam was at the time but the amount of power was enough to cause a soul swap of some sort instead of transfiguring objects or casting complex spells at random. This therefore presents a problem, Twilight cannot surge again and there is no switching souls spell ever invented, so we have to replicate the settings somehow that did the soul switch so I can have my own body back and Jason, his. Hold a second, perhaps I am ‘jumping the gun’ as Jason puts it. There is one such being that may get us out of this before today, how have I not thought this earlier? “Jason, I need you to summon Discord” I say to Jason “Discord, why?” Jason asks a reasonable question “I have an idea but I need Discord’s help” I explain “There’s no need, I’m already here” a voice came out of nowhere Out popped Discord in front of us with a butler outfit. “I was having the most fun with a certain snobbish prince when I detected the most delightful sense of chaos coming from Ponyville and I just knew I had to come! And look! The whole gang is here, even Spike, Jason, Celestia and…” Discord looked happy until he trailed Discord’s outfit disappeared as he looked from me to Jason and to me, to Jason and back to me again. He had a thought processing for about 5 seconds until he spoke. “My, my! Can it be? Am I seeing things or have everypony’s favourite Sun Princess and Human switched bodies? This is hilarious! However did you make this happen? I must find that pony and give them the Chaos God seal of approval.” Discord says holding a smiling Discord sticker that had him wink at the metaphorical camera. “Twilight has surged her powers as a result of delayed surge, something very rare among unicorns, it’s nothing bad for the pony, merely a delayed reaction of sorts” I explain “Twilight did this? YES! I knew you had it in you Twilight Sparkle! I had you pegged as a chaos maker the moment I met you!” Discord says giving Twilight a hug and giving her the sticker and put it on her face. Twilight looks awkward there, perhaps I should step in. “Kids these days Celesita, they grow up so fast! I am so emotional!” Discord says as he dries emotional tears with a hankerchief. “Discord, is it possible for your magic to switch our bodies back?” I ask straight to the point “I’m afraid not Celestia, while the surge Princess Sparkle here (Discord with a proud face here), is technically chaos magic, my magic alone won’t do a thing and since I am the embodiment of chaos, even if I could do it, I might accidently switch you into other bodies making the problem more chaotic…as much fun as it would be for me” Discord explains “Damn it! Why is there never an easy way?” Jason groaned “Jason, this whining will not get us anywhere” Rairty chips in “Says the pony who whined the diamond dogs into submission” Jason put a well-put comeback. I have to admit, Jason did have the point on that one, so much that it was what ponies call 'Burned'. “Don’t make me whine you into submission too” Rarity threatened “You wouldn’t have the guts, in front of the image of the Princess and the Princess herself, it would destroy your clothes line. And since I am the Princess now, I could ruin your life with a breath” Jason challenged “That’s enough the two of you! Starting fights will not solve our problems at present” Twilight says Oh dear, it suddenly occurs how much fighting Luna and I did to protect Equestria, I would correct my former student but it would do more harm than good at present. “Twilight is right, while now we can somewhat handle a little bit of walking in our bodies, we need to progress so we can keep the ruse up that nothing has happened or else there may be panic that will be the last thing we need” I agreed with Twilight “Yeah, still think this is gonna take some damned luck not even the luck of the Irish can supply” Jason says. “Here’s the plan for now for what I have gathered you all here for as you are all the only ponies I can trust…and dragon of course. Luna, you may need to lower and raise the sun for a bit but do not let anypony know that it’s you doing it, if you are detected try to head off a ruse of myself being sick or just doing a sisterly favor” I started discussing “We will do our best for our sister to get her body back and Jason to get his own body, tis a promise!” Luna nods Alright step two of this plan. “Spike, I need you to be at the ready at any time with parchment and quill in case something comes up. Twilight, you will need to find a way to reverse this and I shall assist whenever living Jason’s life will allow me to do so. The rest of you should keep an eye out for anything that will expose the ruse, otherwise act normal” I explain the rest of the plan “That reminds me, we should tell each other a few things about our lives so we don’t forget important things” Jason suggests “We can help, we hath a spell to transfer memories to another pony but only when the pony or human in thy case needs it” Luna explains a way to get past it “Cool, let’s do it” Jason agrees “Alright, I suppose this will help us” I agree to this choice Luna charged her horn up and all the sudden, memories that were not mine but Jason’s were coming to me. I see what Earth must be like, this is intriguing but I also see basic stuff about his life now like he has a tutor that he attends class weekdays. I also see ponies important to him… a mare in particular…no, I will not invade that privacy unless needed. Jason must have experienced those same feelings from the look in his eyes. “This is awesome! I remember things mundane that Celestia does in her life and any background trivia. I could even tell you all what she ate last night” Jason comments with awe “Thank you but I believe that will be enough” I say They shall not know about the cake I had last night, hopefully the royal dieters have not found out about this and are not too hard on Jason while he is in my body. It was getting a little late, time is of the essence and my presence or rather Jason’s in my own body will be required. “Luna?” I call to her “What is it, Tia?” Luna answers “Can you teleport Jason to my room at Canterlot? The less eyes the better for the moment” I ask “We shall do it, but will thou be fine with being here with Twilight Sparkle and friends?” Luna asks “Don’t worry about me Lulu, I will be just fine, just some adjusting and perhaps I shall learn some new things while here in Ponyville” I look on the bright side “Very well, best of luck Tia!” Luna says Jason and Luna grab onto each other, Jason can walk now almost normally so he should be fine for the moment. Luna then teleports and disappears in a flash along with Jason. “Girls, and Spike. What happened in this castle today does not leave this castle, if you see me out in public, call me Jason not Celestia, same goes with if we do see Jason around” I say to the girls The Elements were awfully silent today, to be expected. I am surprised Rainbow Dash has not made a comment or Twilight hasn’t freaked out, perhaps change truly has come more than a soul switch today. Nevertheless, they did binding contract of a Pinkie Promise before leaving the room. But now is not the time for idle thought, there is work to be done, starting with mastering mobility... > How to be a Princess 101 (Jason) > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I wave my hand in the general direction of the alarm clock to find two things: 1) I remember I am Princess Celestia now. 2) I am bucking strong as hell! I broke the alarm clock! Oh and Luna was next to me too…that’s not creepy at all. “Good morning, Jason! We trust thy sleep was well?” Luna says “Princess, that’s creepy, you know that?” I ask her “Mayhaps, but it is time for thou to raise the sun/wake up. Since thy magic has not been tested yet, we shall raise it for thee. Rest assured that we have granted thee one day to learn how to be a Princess and work thy magic” Luna replies “But, how will I learn this, and shouldn’t I be in day court or something now?” I ask “Luckily, Celestia has such a reliable niece, our neice, Cadence has agreed to cover for one day as thou are supposedly…’sick’ so we cast a silencing spell all around us so we can practice undisturbed, but like we said, this will only be around for a day before any unneccesary drama comes up” Luna explains this fact I remember Princess Cadence, I met her once when she visited Ponyville, I heard the wedding definitely was a blast to say the least. Apparently she used to foalsit Twilight and is now her sister-in-law now. “So I’m gonna be stuck in this room all day?” I ask “For some time to brush up on how to act as a Princess but then we will need you train thee in the art of magic” Luna says “Awwww but why?” I complained “Because like it or not, thou needs to keep up the ruse thou really art our sister! You are in the Princess of the Night’s training camp and we do not rest until we taste the victory in our mouths after glorious victory! Art we not clear?” Luna says in a commanding tone I merely nod my head, I really want to go back to sleep but Luna would definitely not let it happen “Wonderful, shall we proceed with thy lessons?” Luna asks “Yeah…before I die of annoyance” I muttered the last part “We heard that! Now, training begins now!” Luna says Princess Luna then proceeded to summon a book that was 5 times bigger than any book Twilight ever owned and it landed beside me so hard that dust flew out from the ground. She has got to be kidding! “You’ve got be fucking kidding me!” My jaw fell to the ground so hard it got dust flying as well “Nay, we do not kid, thou will need to learn EVERYTHING in this book and we shall make sure thou gets it right” Luna says This is gonna be a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNG training session, I can already tell. You wanna know how boring this book is? It’s really boring here, lemme show you thirty of these Princess things you need to know and those are only the tippest of the tip of the biggest iceberg ever! These are just randoms one my eyes fall on by the way, no order in any of these. One: A Princess must walk with dignity and grace. Two: A Princess must not stuff her face. Three: A Princess will be honest, but never bluntly honest that it offends others. Four: A Princess will be respected at all times, but a Princess must also show the same respect. Five: A Princess is merciful unless the situation calls otherwise. Six: A Princess’ judgment must be fair and equitable Seven: Nobles will always be rich ponies that don’t contribute anything but to their own agenda, this fact a Princess will always know but however it is unwise for her to point this fact out. Eight: Should anything ever threaten her majesty or her people, A Princess will do everything in her power to stop that threat Nine: The Ritual of Ascension is a gift giving to the worthy Princess, however, she will not just hand it out to her friends or favourites, a true royal pony must probe his/her worthiness to ascend. Ten: A Princess may take on a student/apprentice/protégé but is advised to keep it to one at a time. Her Majesty will be very busy enough. Eleven: A Princess must always have a Captain of the guard, a successor to that captain (Generally a Lieutenient would do) and a Special Ops team in the guard on hoof. Twelve: A Princess may court whomever she pleases but the lover must prove his/her worthiness. It is also advisable to consider any scandals and/or controversy that may come with the courtship Thirteen: A Princess may be the judge of severe enough court cases or even attend the cases if required. Fourteen: A Princess will never banish/exile an offending pony unless case is severe enough, small enough cases will not result in being placed in a dungeon. Hey Majesty wants her ponies to respect her, not fear her. Fifteen: A Princess will not go looking for trouble. (Trouble for Princesses is generally either nobles or full-scale war and believe me, it’s always the latter in these stories.) Sixteen: A Princess’ word is law, providing her word is in the right mind. Seventeen: A Princess will keep her guard up to standard, despite the Princess being the most powerful being, the guards being able to keep peace is a necessity. Eighteen: A Princess will always keep up relations with other countries at good standing, this is most especially with Griffons and Minotaurs whom are races that are known to start fights. Nineteen: A Princess will not kill unless deemed absolutely necessary Twenty: A Princess will keep in shape, a good Princess will look good with a physique that even models would die for. Suffice to say, I spent the next six hours reading this book on what not to do and how to act as a Princess, IT’S TORTURE OH MAKE IT STOP! I’LL WATCH PINKIE BAKE SOMEPONY INTO A CUPCAKE JUST MAKE IT STOP!! “Good news, thou have sufficiently learned Princess etiquette we have decided” Luna says “Oh thank the glorious flank I now have! I thought it would never end!” I praised the sun “But…we do have to train you in sufficient level of magic” Luna says “MOON DAMNIT!!!” I cursed “That’s enough, Jason. We may never know when a threat to our fair kingdom may come, it may very well come while you are in our sister’s body” Luna says sternly Sigh…guess I have to do the training montage or something. I mean it can’t be that bad…right? About 2.123456789 minutes later… “LEVITATE THE APPLE JASON! LEVITATE IT LIKE THOU MEAN IT!” Luna shouted in her RCV (Royal Canterlot Voice) “But I Ca-a-an’t” I whined “THAT’S QUITTER TALK! ART THOU A QUITTER?” Luna asks “No” I replied “WHAT ART THOU GONNA DO?” Luna asks “Levitate this apple” I answer "WE CAN'T HEAR THEE!" Luna shouts "LEVITATE THE APPLE!" I shout “DAMN BUCKING STRAIGHT THOU WILL! AND THOU WILL TASTE THE MOST GLORIOUS VICTORY AND FEAST ON THY ENEMY'S BLOOD!” Luna does a motivational cry 5 minutes later… Alright apple, here’s the deal! I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but we’re gonna fucking put aside our differences for Luna over there, all you have to IS LEVITATE! You know? Wingardium Leviosa! Use the force, Luke! Yeah that one was coming from a mile away Apple, but still we gonna make you float and YOU WILL LIKE IT! Come on…yes…good apple…it’s floating, it’s getting higher now! YES! YOU ARE OFFICALLY MY BITCH APPLE! ALL APPLES WILL BOW HENCEFORTH TO MY HOOVES! ANYONE WHO DARES OPPOSE ME WILL BE CRUSHED! “Yes, thou have managed to lift the apple, now, we move to more important aspects of magic such as combat and general things our sister uses on a daily basis, once thy magic is advanced enough we shall teach you to raise and lower the sun” Luna says Well that’s great, I can levitate things with my mind…well horn technically but still I made shit float! "Now thou will take a short break and then we begin the combat training" Luna says I guess I better rest then, I got the feeling this training is gonna get harder...of course it will what am I saying? > The Morning Ritual of a Human (Celestia) > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! SLAM! It was not until a few moments had I remembered what had happened the previous da, I was no longer myself but in the body of Jason. It feels rather strange to sleep on your back with out your hooves sticking out of your blankets, instead my new hands were at my sides rather than my front. Suffice to say, new anatomy is a tricky thing to get used to as I got out of bed, thankfully Luna seems to have gotten the sun up without myself with her. I had once had to do the raising and lowering of the moon for 1000 years during her absence, I couldn’t ever get the night to Luna’s standard. I look at the time and it’s 9:00AM!! How did I let myself sleep that long? I must hurry and get to my…oh…that’s right. I am no longer myself, it would be silly if I just showed up to Day Court now, claiming to be me. What is that those ponies say? Old Habits Die Hard? Yes, I believe that was it. I turned on the radio next to Jason’s(mine for now) bed to listen for anything going on. Radios are nice bits of entertainment and news as they provide both music and even some news. With a magical extender I can connect to any radio from my castle, however Jason's would only connect to Ponyville’s radio. Gooooood Morning again Ponyville, how are you all today? For those of you sleepy heads waking up on this fine Sunday morning, you’ll be looking out for a nice day as the weather provided by the weather team says it’ll be fine with a few clouds at a temperature of 25 degrees thanks to our favourite Sun-Princess, Princess Celestia. In Ponyville news today, word is that Princess Twilight Sparkle may be close to a discovery for all you unicorns out there, when we asked her about it, she said she’ll keep in a surprise but it will be worth it. In Equestria-wide news, rumors that Hoity-Toity may have found a lover has been denied and fans of Hoity-Toity are disappointed. Better luck next time folks. Also, Sapphire Shores has been admitted to rehab again after authorities found illegal drugs in her basement. That’s it for now Sleepy heads, this is your 100.8 Ponyville FM radio keeping you up to date. Bzzzzt. Alright! This your mare Radio Shack keeping you covered for all the music to get you through the day in Ponyville, cause mare. are there some crazy stuff that happens here in Ponyville, keep it safe out there! That goes double for the Elements of Harmony and the Cutie Mark Crusaders. You are listening to 100.8 Ponyville FM! And now even though Spring is almost at it’s end, we’re presenting a Ponyville Favourite: Winter Wrap Up! I did not know Ponyville recorded their own spur-off the moment songs on the radio, perhaps it’s a community thing but then again, maybe Ponyville just really like their songs, I actually haven’t heard Twilight sing in a while, according to her, Fluttershy can sing well when nopony is around to see it. But I think I have more pressing matters, like a bath, I smelt the underside of my arms and it emitted a stench that I could not stand, myself being a Princess of course that doesn’t mean much to more casual ponies. I remember having to force Twilight into a bath a few times because she got so stuck into reading that Spike had sent letters to me asking her to be forced into the bath and so I did. From the memories of Jason’s previous showers, I gather I have to…take off my clothes revealing my…private parts…oh dear, I think I am blushing on that one, not proper for a Princess to think about such things like that. Nay, it would be improper for a Princess to ignore such duties as personal hygiene, Rarity would surely faint if she saw me smelling and looking this way. I stepped in the tub and turned out the shower tub on hot and SWEET MOTHER OF CREATION THAT’S HOT! YOWUCH! Okay, the Princess of the Sun will not be bested by the hot tap so I’ll turn on the Cold tap and…BRRRRRR that’s cold…okay now adjust it and…that’s right! I shall call it Celestia: 1, Shower: 2…I will catch up to the shower. So I guess judging by the information Jason told me, I need to use this bar of soap and some shampoo to take care of my coat…skin. It's time to get clean. 5 minutes later… There I think I look like Jason sufficiently enough to go outside, I don’t think I have anything important today, what shall I do today? I don’t think I’ve had much freedom in a while and here I am, having no idea what to do with it? I am getting ahead of myself, I have not even had any breakfast, how can they expect the Princess of the Sun to rule on an empty stomach? KNOCK KNOCK! That could be an answer to what I could do. I went the door and after a couple of attempts, I managed to open the door with my hand and then I see Rarity, Element of Generousity at my door along with Fluttershy, Element of Kindness behind her. “Rarity? And Fluttershy? Is something the matter?” I ask “Oh no Princess, we were just checking if you managed to get out of bed alright” Rarity explains why they were here “If you don’t mind us checking that is…” Fluttershy says “Of course not, but let’s continue this conversation inside, before somepony sees or hears” I advise Although Jason’s house was on the edge and some distance away from Ponyville, you can never be too careful of prying eyes and ears, centuries of Royalty will teach you just that, hopefully Lulu had put a suppressing sound spell on the room while explaining to Jason the finer points of being Princess of a nation. In my day, the journalists, “paparazzi” as they call them nowadays were a bit more sensible about where they poke their noses in, the present day, ponies will stick their muzzles in whatever gets bits. It is truly a shame but if both Jason and I are to keep our reputation alive we must stay in character long enough for the spell to switch us back to be found. It’s another risk as ponies are still a little bit curious to Jason despite myself asking to leave him to his own business, but he has to understand how to talk politically now in my body and I am understandably worried. I must have faith in Jason and Luna as he must have faith in me not mess things up for him. But back to the inside of the house, both Fluttershy and Rarity were sitting with me at the table. “So, is there anything we can do to help you get used to your body, Princess?” Rarity asks “A generous offer, Rarity but I think I should be fine with basic things for the moment but thank for the offer, I was about to make breakfast.” I decline "Are you sure? I don't think you've ever really cooked according to Twilight and this is a new body" Rarity points out. I had not thought of that, I am a terrible cook and I might burn my hands if I tried. "Perhaps some help would come in handy in a bit" I admit "Rarity could cook something up for you...if she's okay with that" Fluttershy suggests "Why yes I can cook something up fit for a Princess...in a human body" Rarity says Still, Rarity had a question burning and I can tell what it might be. “So I must ask your highness-“ Rarity started “Just call me Jason” I interrupt “Pardon me “Jason”, but I must ask, what does it feel like to be Jason?” Rarity asks “I also wonder that too, that’s okay, isn’t it?” Fluttershy adds “It’s alright for now I suppose, but in truth I cannot answer your question fully, at best I can tell you it’s strange but natural but I could not describe the feeling of being human, the only way to know is to be a human yourself” I answer “Oh I see” Fluttershy says “But at the most part, I seem to be getting the hang of mobility with this new body. But I fear that’s the easy part, the hard part is fitting into Jason’s life style without causing any suspicion” I say “But surely the memory spell Princess Luna cast will help you remember all the things you need to know?” Rarity asks “It is one thing to know what Jason does, it is another to act like Jason would do it and even so, the spell is designed to respect privacy and some thing may not be received at the time it is needed, it could therefore be a liability more than it would be useful In some cases. This whole ordeal if we make it out without anypony any the wiser will require a lot of skill and luck, I fear I may have it easy compared to Jason” I explain the cons of the spell. Jason, I hope you are coping with this, this may be the hardest challenge yet here in Equestria for you. “I assume Twilight has been working on looking for a way all night hasn’t she?” I ask Fluttershy, knowing full well the answer. “Oh yes, we tried to convince her to take a break but she sort of…went "lecture mode" as Spike calls it” Fluttershy answers “Not to worry, I will talk to Twilight now, goodness knows I need a bit of out time today” I say I am not surprised Twilight has acted this way, she had always been this way every time something important has come up, if she weren’t at least staying up late to find a reversal of the spell then I would be very surprised. But Twilight must learn that patience is a virtue and you won’t find results when your slightly awake, perhaps I should have better taught her that. The next student I’ll have down the line will learn a lot from Twilight being the star student she is and also her mistakes she has made. I like to think I’ve been a good teacher to Twilight, I did the best I could, her bright attitude to learning is something not too common to Equestria nowadays, some ponies drift through life with a cutie mark, a special somepony and foals to pass their genes on. Perhaps once I am done I should give Twilight a push towards finding somepony special. But these thoughts must be for another time, if anything I need to be sure I am confident before I fully live out Jason’s life, perhaps the Elements may prove useful for this task but I need to be careful, Jason doesn’t stick around the girls too much. Too much interaction and somepony is sure to notice. "Shall we proceed outside to get Breakfast?" I ask "Why yes we shall, Sweetie Belle and her friends will be out so we won't be disturbed...unless they took my fabric again" Rarity mutters the last part For now, I have a town to explore a bit and I am keen on learning the ways of my subjects from a more subject point of view, but first, breakfast as Jason's stomach calls for it's food. > The Tutorial Level of Princessness (Jason) > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was a few hours later that I was allowed a break from Luna, I have been learning how to shield myself from minor attacks. Luna was very insistent on me learning that as she believes I may get under attack while I am in Celestia’s body. She must be a firm believer in Murphy’s Law. I can respect that. Maybe the Princesses were really paranoid at times? I mean if you have seen my kind’s history you’d be paranoid of being a king or queen back in those times, makes you wonder how many attempts to overthrow Celestia there have been, and don’t lie to me and say there haven’t been any. The spells I have been learning were defensive ones somepony once said “A great defense is the best offense” and it is vice versa as well. There’s personal shields that are easier to maintain but come harder the more power is put against it and then there’s area shields like the one Shining Armor put over Canterlot. They are weaker than personal ones but they protect more ground and last longer but the longer it takes the more tired the unicorn will get so you would have to take it in turns or hope your shield has brought enough time to do what you have to do. Next up was physical defense with my hooves, while unicorns use ranged attacks, Pegasi and Earth Ponies rely on melee attacks to take down their opponents. Earth Ponies are hard hitters and Pegasi are fast attackers, that said, learning to block proves invaluable. Now it was time to move on to attacks, I mean maybe I can shoot lasers out of my horn PACHEW! PEW PEW PEW! Hahaha! Making PEW noises is kinda fun now that I am thinking about it, you’d think it being 2015 in my world we’d get some cool future stuff by now, it’d be fun to ride a hoverboard. Well I’m getting off topic now, this is serious after all. “Break’s over Jason, now that you know how to defend we shall teach you the basics of attacking thy enemy” Luna says “Okay, so what’s first?” I ask “Well first, while defending is alright in this room, we need more space, please stay still” Luna instructs. Luna cast a spell and all the sudden a bright light comes and then I find myself in a blue background full of stars. The place was beautiful to say the least, is this some sort of pocket dimension? “What is this place?” I ask “Welcome to the Realm of Ascension, this is the only place the Ritual of Ascension can happen to those worthy of ascension. There are other uses in this realm that are useful to us such as to train thyself in the art of offensive combat” Luna explains the scenery around us. “This place looks awesome…” I admit out loud “Now is the not the time to admire the scenery, remember we have important work to do. First up, thou must shoot a shot of magic” Luna says, being the spoilsport. “Uh…how?” I ask “Thou must merely gather thy energy and then expel that energy into a magical energy shot” Luna says as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Okay, I can do that. I mean if I can do a shield and even block some physical attacks, I gotta be able to shoot some shots. I mean I AM Princess Celestia after all, if I can’t do it then I will refuse to show my face in shame. Alright here goes…annnnnd PACHEW! BOOOOOOM! Holy shit! THAT. WAS. AWESOME! I SHOT A MAGICAL SHOT AND IT EXPLODED LIKE A FREAKING BOSS! “Did you see that? The thingy went boom!” I said with a laugh “Yes, we did see thy explosion, but now, let’s try doing more of those at a rapid rate” Luna says “Alright, here it comes” I say I do the same thing really with charging my horn but I shot the first few shots fine but the next ones were getting smaller and weaker. The explosive range was no more than the width of a chair I’d say. “Well done Jason you have successfully pulled of a rapid fire attack. I am sure thou hast found the weakness of this attack?” Luna comes to me once I finish the attack “The first shots were stronger and bigger but the next few were getting weaker and weaker” I observed the weakness “Correct! If thou can observe these weaknesses than thou will prove most useful should any conflict come our way” Luna says Luna then had decided on the next attack. “Now the last main attack is the continuous beam, it allows a constant powerful flow of energy as an attack until you cannot hold it any longer or stop the beam, bear in mind that these attacks are more likely to kill than injure but as thou hast surely read, there art situations that may need it” Luna says “Okay, so I guess you’ll tell me to avoid this attack long as possible” I assumed “Thou art correct, now do what you have done for you first attack but instead of releasing it into a shot, we and thou to keep shooting thy magic until thou can’t do it any longer” Luna instructed Alright so I focused on making it a shot before, this time I need to gather more energy and focus into a death beam, maybe if I shout KAMEHAMEHA it’ll make the thing more epic? Nah, I’d just look like a tool. Anyway, one death continuous beam coming right up. I got the magic, now my horn is glowing, let’s release this beauty of destruction! “Here it comes!” I say I release a pure white beam into the distance for about a minute before I couldn’t sustain the magic any longer at which point I just fell on my back exhausted. They make it look easy on the TV shows…huff…puff “Thou hast done quite well for a first timer today” Luna says as she sits beside me. “I think that Celestia’s body already knows how to use this, it’s just me getting used to her body” I say a theory I had as I lay on my stomach. “Still, it is quite commendable to see thou trying thy hardest to learn the ways of our sister, in the following days we shall train thou a bit more but for now, we shall consider thee fit enough to take on the throne tomorrow morning” Luna says Well that’s good to know, Luna has basically given me her blessing to do this thing tomorrow. Yes I get to do Day court in front of the most snobbish ponies ever and subjects of Princess Celestia…that’s not nerve-racking at all! But I guess I need some rest, there’s no point trying this if I’m going to be tired as hell...