Princess Twilight Sparkle sat by a window in a cosy sitting room in her Palace of Friendship. Her horn glowed as she used her magic to levitate a cup of tea to her mouth. She took a sip. “Spike! This is incredible. This is the best tea I have ever drank.” Twilight said.
“Really? You mean it?” Spike, Twilight’s baby dragon assistant, asked.
“Yes, if you keep making tea like this, my ten AM break will become my favourite part of the day. However, my decision stands. I’m hiring on more staff.” Twilight said.
“But Twilight, I can work harder.” Spike whined.
“I know you can, but I don’t want you to work harder. I want you to enjoy your life. You’re still a child. You need time to play. This isn’t a reflection on your skill at all. It’s just now that I have this castle there is so much more to clean, and being the Princess of Friendship has resulted in so much more mail to be sorted and answered. We can’t keep asking our friends for help. Sure this castle is partially theirs, but they are busy with their own lives. Plus, if they don’t have to clean the castle, I won’t feel so bad about the paltry wage supplement they receive for going on missions.” Twilight said.
A perky voice spoke behind Twilight. “Oh, don’t feel bad. We know the government gave you only half the budget you requested. But politics bore me. Have a hot cross bun.”
Twilight Sparkle spat the tea out of her mouth. “Pinkie Pie, do not sneak up on me like that. Not everypony has your ESP.” Twilight said.
“You said I could come and go from the castle as I pleased as I have a throne.” Pinkie Pie said.
“Yes, I said that, but I didn’t say you could scare me to death.” Twilight said. She levitated a bun out a box Pinkie was holding. She took a bight. “This is good. Did you come just to bring me some buns and join me for tea?” Twilight asked.
Pinkie sat down. Spike poured her a glass of tea. Pinkie took sip. “Wow! Spike, this is the most spectacularist tea I have ever slurped. What’s your secret?” Pinkie said.
“My secret is I spent years perfecting the perfect blend of leaves and brewing techniques. Why? You may ask. I did it for Twilight. You see Princess Celestia loves tea, and Twilight used to love having tea with her mentor when she was a filly, so I kept making the tea better and better, so the princess would come by more often.” Spike said.
“Oh Spike, sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve such a devoted assistant and friend.” Twilight said.
Spike shrugged. “I dunno. Got lucky I guess.” He turned to Pinkie Pie. “Yes, I am going to eat that bun. I saw you eyeing it.” Spike shot his tongue out. It wrapped around the bun and spike pulled it into his mouth.
“Oooo. That’s impressive.” Pinkie Pie said.
“That’s nothing. You should see him catch flies.” Twilight said.
“Twilight. You said you wouldn’t reveal my secret.” Spike said.
“You can lose a friend forever like that. Secrets must be kept.” Pinkie Pie said.
“It’s no secret Spike catches flies. Plenty of ponies have seen him, and it is nothing to be ashamed of. Flies are an ordinary part of a baby dragon’s diet.” Twilight said.
“Do you eat other insects?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“Yes.” Spike replied.
“Remember the Breezies? They had insectile wings. Did you want to gobble them up?” Pinkie asked.
“I’m a dragon. We’re an apex predator. Sometimes I feel like chowing down on all my pony friends.” Spike said.
Pinkie gasped, but she quickly recovered. “So, if you were to eat your friends, who would you start with, and who would you eat last? How would we be prepared? Would you use your fire breath to bake us to a crisp, or just to warm us up a bit? The mind boggles.” Pinkie Pie said.
Spike stepped back. “You know, Pinkie. I was joking. The Breezies did not look appetising, and the thought of eating a pony makes me ill.” He said.
“This topic has become very disturbing.” Twilight said. “Why did you visit today, Pinkie?” Twilight said.
“I think this topic is fun, and I think I should be saved for last as I am unquestionably the sweetest, and I would make an excellent dessert.” Pinkie said.
“You make a point.” Spike said. He stared at Pinkie and licked his lips.
“Pinkie, stop corrupting him. You came here for a reason, remember.” Twilight said.
“Oh, alright. I am here because I just received a letter from my, big sister, Maud. She tells me she will be in Ponyville in one week’s time, and she will be staying for a few days. Maud wanted me to ask you if you would have any time in your schedule to talk to her about something very important. She has a request to make of you?” Pinkie said.
“I think I can pencil in some time next week. What’s her request?” Twilight asked.
“She didn’t say in the letter. All she said was it was a personal request.” Pinkie replied.
“Can you give us a hint?” Spike asked.
“Nope. All I can say is that she wrote she had big news to tell me when she arrives. Oh, I am so excited. I’m hoping she’s discovered a super rock that can be used to make super rock candy.” Pinkie said.
“I think tanzanite gives it the best zing.” Spike said.
“Not all of us can digest gems, Spike.” Twilight replied.
“I’ve tried. Comes out the other end just the same as it went in.” Pinkie stated.
“As a scientist, I’m fascinated, but as a mare, I am grossed out by the thought of it.” Twilight said.
“I took notes on my experiments. Would you like to read them?” Pinkie said.
Twilight paused for a moment before nodding. “Yes, I would enjoy that.” She said.
“You just said you would enjoy reading about Pinkie Pie’s Poo.” Spike said with a snicker.
“Science is not always pretty. I’m impressed. I didn’t realize you had such an analytical mind, Pinkie.” Twilight said.
“Baking is just another form of applied chemistry.” Pinkie put her hooves on her head and spread them out. “Keep your mind open, Princess.” She said.
“It’s funny. Princess Celestia says the same thing to me. I like to think I am a very free thinker. But my free time is at end. I have a very busy schedule today. It is always good to see you, my joyful friend. Tell Maud: I would be happy to make time for her when she arrives, and I will hear her personal request with an open mind.” Twilight said.
“Okie doki Loki. I need to go start getting ready for Maud’s arrival. I should write back to her first, so she knows I definitely want her to visit. No time to chat. Busy busy busy. See you, Twilight.” Pinkie said. She ran off in a blur.
“She’s always fun. Now, Spike, the tea break is over. What was next on the schedule?” Twilight asked.
“You were going to compose a letter to the Flim Flam Brothers on why you cannot endorse their new brand of Unicorn horn wax.” Spike said. He pulled out a quill.
“Of course.” Twilight said. She cleared her throat. “Dear Flim and Flam, Thank you for the sample you sent. I enjoyed subjecting it to rigorous analysis. First, I would like to say the word vile is a term I do not apply to gifts easily, but I would apply it to your so called wax a thousand times over before I ever applied a single milligram of it to my horn.”
Spike laughed.
Twilight dictated several more paragraphs, and implored the brothers to dispose of all their unprocessed congealed used lard without delay.
Spike wrote on. He doubted the Flim Flam Brothers would head Twilight Sparkle’s words. They were a pair of Unicorns who were a bit too open minded in Spike’s opinion.
A week passed since Pinkie Pie told Twilight Sparkle of her older sisters impending visit, and Maud Pie arrived in Ponyville with little fanfare. Pinkie brought her sister to the castle as soon as she had rested after her journey. Spike walked in on Pinkie showing ‘The Table’ to Maud in the throne room.
“This is my throne, and sometimes I sit on it, and this super special table shows me super special missions I need to go on. Did you know I helped the Griffin’s rediscover friendship using the power of baking powder?” Pinkie said.
Maud blinked once. “I read your letter on the mission. I don’t think the baking powder was the catalyst you believe it is. I think it was your ability to help others find their true selves. You’re very special Pinkie, and I want you to know the whole family is very proud of everything you’ve accomplished since you left the farm.” Maud said.
Pinkie blushed deeply. “Ahh shucks. I love you too, Maud. Was that the big news you came to tell me?” Pinkie said.
“We are being watched.” Maud said.
Spike took a sip from a steaming mug. “Hey Pinkie, Hey Maud. I wasn’t trying to spy or anything. I just came down to see who was making all that noise so early in the morning.” Spike said.
“Pinkie has a throne. She has a right to be here.” Maud said.
“I know. Twilight has told me that with the exception of our residential areas Pinkie and the other four are free to use this castle as they see fit.” Spike said.
“Boggles the mind doesn’t it. I was excited when I got to watch Sugar Cube Corner on my own, and now I have the run of a castle. I don’t know if my imagination is big enough to handle all the possibilities.” Pinkie said.
“I think you will manage. Your gifts are still enfolding. You are more than you know, dear Pinkie.” Maud said.
“Speaking of gifts. Did you notice my necklace? It’s a rare string of rose rubies. I love the way it sets of my mane.” Pinkie said.
“The sure looks tasty on you, I mean good.” Spike said.
“I brought gifts for all. Spike, I bring you dragonite. It is magically infused corundum. It is practically indestructible. You should be sucking on it for a full day at least. Be good to Pinkie for only I can bring you such unique treats.” Maud said. She threw a glowing colour shifting gem at Spike’s feet.
“I’m always good to Pinkie Pie. Just the other day, I told her she was my sweetest friend.” Spike said.
“But dragonite is sweeter.” Maud said.
“Oh, yes.” Spike replied as he licked the jewel.
“Remember that.” Maud said.
Twilight Sparkle trotted into the throne room. “There you are, Spike. I’m just about to serve up breakfast. It’s your favourite, French toast with emerald sprinkles. Oh, Pinkie Pie, Maud, you’re here. I wasn’t expecting you, but you rarely do what ponies expect you to do, Pinkie. Good morning. Have the two of you had breakfast? I would be delighted if you were to join me and Spike.” Twilight said.
Maud bowed low. “We would be honoured, Your Highness.” She said.
“No need to be so formal. We’re all friends here.” Twilight said.
“Yeah! Second Breakfast! Race you to the dining room, Spike.” Pinkie said she took off.
Spike chased after the bouncing pink mare. “We usually eat in the breakfast nook.” He cried out.
“Actually, the dining room isn’t a bad idea considering there are four of us. Would you like to accompany me to the kitchen to get our food? We can catch up as we trot.” Twilight said.
“I would like that. Would you mind if I made my request now?” Maud asked.
“Request away, my rock loving friend.” Twilight said.
“I would like you to marry me.” Maud said.
Twilight froze. “I beg your pardon.” She said.
“I think I worded that sentence poorly. Would you be willing to conduct my wedding ceremony?” Maud said.
“I know that as a princess such things are expected of me. Most people around here ask The Mayor. Thank goodness. She is a priestess as well as a mayor so she can conduct both civic and religious services. You are member of The Faith. Why don’t you ask a priest or a priestess?” Twilight asked.
“If you conduct the ceremony, none will question the validity of the union.” Maud said.
“Who is your fiancé? Why would ponies question your union? The law is pretty liberal. You could marry a girl Griffin if you wanted to do so.” Twilight said.
“My fiancé is The Smooze. We met at the Grand Galloping Gala. We took a train together afterwards. We spoke much. We became close, and we fell in love. A few weeks ago The Smooze proposed and I said yes. The Smooze also wishes you to marry us.” Maud said.
“The Smooze can talk.” Twilight said shocked.
“Yes, but you must quiet your mind to hear his voice. To hear him sing is to be touched by heaven. His soul is like none other. I wept when I heard his song.” Maud said.
“Wow. This is a lot to take in. I can’t make this decision right away. Let’s just have breakfast for now. We’ll talk more later today. That would be best.” Twilight said.
“Agreed.” Maud replied.
When Maud and Twilight arrived at the kitchen Pinkie Pie and Spike were already hard at work preparing breakfast.
“We don’t have enough for just waffles, so we’ll have to stretch things out with ice cream and fruit.” Pinkie was saying as she sliced bananas and strawberries.
“Ice cream for breakfast. Twilight won’t like that.” Spike said.
“Oh, a little on the side is acceptable. Maud and I will head back down to the dining room. I won’t even ask how you two got here ahead of us.” Twilight said.
She and Maud turned around and headed to the dining room at a slow pace.
“Pinkie is something else. Isn’t she?” Twilight said.
“Pinkie is a mare.” Maud replied.
“Yes, and you are a grey mare in a grey dress, yet you tell me you want to marry The Smooze who is a green slime creature who eats gold to grow larger. Maud, I do not wish to offend you, but based solely off my own observations I am not entirely sure The Smooze is an entirely sapient being.” Twilight said.
“The Smooze has a temper, but he is making efforts to get it under control. He is ashamed of his outburst at the gala. Discord brings out the worst in him.” Maud said.
“So The Smooze isn’t just some wild creature that Discord was trying to pass off as a person.” Twilight said.
Maud’s face twisted in anger for a moment. “The Smooze is a better pony than Discord will ever be. It is only because Discord is a known liar that you doubt his story about the two of them knowing each other at University. Discord would not have graduated were it not for The Smooze. Discord would not have the skill he has today were it not for The Smooze. It was he who showed discord how to combine his simple illusions with real chaos. It broke The Smooze’s heart when he felt it necessary to guide Princess Celestia to the tree of Harmony and teach her how wield The Elements against his former schoolmate.” Maud said.
“Oh I am going to have to ask the Princess about that, but if what you say is true The Smooze is thousands of years old. Won’t the age difference be a bit of a problem?” Twilight asked.
“Some of my favourite rocks are billions of years old. We are all eye-blinks compared to them. This is how I see things.” Maud said.
“Have you told Pinkie? Have you told your parents?” Twilight asked.
“I meant to tell Pinkie this morning, but I have not had a chance. The Smooze and I will be headed to the rock farm after we leave here.” Maud said.
“So, The Smooze is coming here? Where are the two of you staying? It will be cramped if you both stay at Pinkie’s place. How about I put The Smooze up here in the castle? We have plenty of guest rooms.” Twilight said.
“That would be kind of you. I am sure The Smooze will be pleased to accept your offer.” Maud said.
“Wonderful.” Twilight replied. “I just hope he doesn’t try to eat the place.” Twilight muttered under her breath.
Twilight Sparkle, Spike, Maud and Pinkie Pie were digging into breakfast as they sat around the dining table when Maud made her announcement to the group.
“This is amazing. I love weddings. I’ll plan you the best reception ever. Will we all get to be bride’s maids? I have experience. You know?” Pinkie said.
“Of course, you and your friends will be bride’s maids. I would like Princess Twilight to conduct the ceremony, and I would like the ceremony to be held at Sweet Apple Acres.” Maud said.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I haven’t agreed to this yet. Pinkie, your sister wants to marry The Smooze, a magic resistant slime creature who is thousands of years old. Don’t you have any feelings about this?” Twilight said.
“Well, now that you mention it, our parents might insist he be a member of The Faith. Unless you think that just because I had a few dances with him that I liked him like that. He was sweet, but The Smooze just didn’t light my fire. There won’t be any jealousy issues.” Pinkie Pie said.
“That’s a relief.” Spike said. He licked his dragonite.
“Is that dragonite?” Twilight asked.
“Yep.” Spike replied he sucked on the stone with joy.
“Where did you get that? Dragonite is worth a thousand bits a kilogram.” Twilight asked.
“Maud Pie gave it to me. She has presents for everyone. Did you notice Pinkie’s necklace?” Spike said.
“I saw the necklace. It looks good on you, Pinkie. Maud, why did you give Spike such an expensive gift. Couldn’t you use the money?” Twilight said.
“Money isn’t really a problem for me. I’m good at budgeting. Besides, I discovered a dragonite mine, and I developed a technique to mine it effectively. I’m only selling a little at a time. If I sold all I had at once the market price would drop dramatically, and that might cause problems.” Maud said.
“How much do believe you can mine?” Twilight asked.
“Tonnes, but I don’t think I will mine all that much. I have other projects.” Maud said.
“But you could get rich.” Spike said.
“Money doesn’t interest me. I don’t need to be rich. The cost of living is low in Equestria. Ponies can survive off of a grass diet, and it grows everywhere. Clothing is optional, and sleeping under a tree or in a cave is nice.” Maud said.
“I’m a dragon. I like stuff. Where’s this mine? I’ll take the gems you don’t want.” Spike said.
“You’d move into the cave, and guard it until the supply of dragonite ran out. I doubt any pony would see you for the next century or so.” Maud said.
Spike shrugged. “Sounds like a normal part of the dragon lifecycle.” Spike said.
“If you wish to abandon your friends and grow up in a cave, I will show you the mine.” Maud said.
“Spike, no, I need you.” Twilight said.
Pinkie began to cry. She walked over to Spike and draped herself over him. “Don’t leave us. We will miss you.” She wailed.
Spike patted Pinkie on the head. “Alright, I’ll stay.” He said.
“Hooray!” Pinkie cried. “I can’t stay though. That is Maud and I need to go. Time is a wasting. We should go visit Applejack now if we want to talk to her about using the farm for the wedding. Big day planned. Come on, Sis. Let’s vamoose.” She said.
Maud stood up. “Thank you for breakfast. The Smooze is arriving on the morning train. I will bring him by then.” Maud said.
“We’ll be expecting you.” Twilight said.
“See you later, Twilight.” Pinkie said. She bounced out of the door.
Maud nodded at Twilight. “Spike, Princess Twilight, good day.” She cantered after her energetic younger sister.
Spike stood up. “Well, time to clear the table, and do the dishes.” He said.
“You see, this is why we need a staff. Some pony could do that for us.” Twilight said. She stood on her hind legs. “I need to start researching Equestrian marriage laws and customs right now.” Twilight waved her front legs in the air.
“Dramatic much.” Spike said. “You’ll feel better once all this is cleaned, dry, and put away.” Spike said.
“You’re right, Spike.” Twilight said. Her horn glowed. The dirty dishes disappeared from the table with a flash. “There, much better.” She said.
“That spell stinks. I always find pieces of food still stuck on the plates, and the knives and forks are never in the right place.” He said.
“We can always just move to the fields and graze like Maud suggested. Until then, to the library.” Twilight said.
“You took your pills this morning, right?” Spike said.
“Yes, Spike.”
“Just checking.” Spike said.
Twilight galloped off to the castle library. Three hours later or there abouts Spike strolled into the library. “I hope your research has been productive. I have got a lot done. Plenty of cleaning, and I have prepared a snack for elevenses. There’s no eating in the library as per your rules, so why don’t we go sit by that window you like?” Spike said.
“Alright.” Twilight said. She walked away from a pile of open books. In a few minutes, Twilight was sitting by her favourite window, and she was eating off of a silver tray filled with cheese and fruit slices. She sipped out of a goblet of fire berry juice. “Spike, this is terrific. I feel refreshed, but I am not certain I should marry Maud and The Smooze. Legally speaking any two beings who have been judged by their peers and the peers of the one they wish to marry as having sufficient wisdom and experience are allowed to marry.”
“Sounds complicated.” Spike says.
“It is, and it gets worse. The problem is Maud and The Smooze don’t want me to marry them legally. They want me to marry them religiously.” Twilight said.
“So you can forget about the legal stuff, and focus on religious studies.” Spike said.
“I can’t. Whatever civil servant signs and stamps Maud and The Smooze’s marriage certificate may only do so if I ask him or her to do so.” Twilight said.
“Won’t they go to the mayor?” Spike said.
“Yes, and when they do, I want to be able to advise her as the best course of action.” Twilight said.
“So, you might stand in their way.” Spike said.
“If I deem The Smooze to be a creature who is ineligible for marriage, yes, I will stand in their way. I know it sounds cruel, but I need to think of the good of Equestria. If laws have no boundaries, there is only chaos.” Twilight said.
“Yes, I am a fan of law and order myself. I do have my dragon code, so how do find out if Maud and The Smooze are sufficiently wise and experienced?” Spike said.
“I’m not sure yet. He’ll be here tomorrow. I should have some ideas after interacting with him more, so I have put things off because of this. What should I have been doing?” Twilight asked.
“You’re having lunch with Rarity and Fluttershy at twelve O five, but that’s just at the café down the road. You have time to get a start on the presentation you wish to prepare for tomorrow’s tour of the castle by Ms Cheerielee’s class.” Spike said.
“The class is coming tomorrow. The Smooze will be here tomorrow. This is bad.” Twilight said.
“Relax, while you conduct the tour, I will show The Smooze around Ponyville, or he might even be busy with Maud.” Spike said.
“You’re right, Spike. Now, let’s get to work. I think we should start the tour at the front door.” Twilight said.
“And we should end it with the Throne Room, but there are rooms we should leave out. The kids probably don’t want to see the wine cellar, and I don’t want anypony seeing my gem hoard.” Spike said.
“Your quarter of a meter high pile is hardly a hoard.” Twilight said.
“It is a work in progress.” Spike said.
“And so is this presentation. Let’s chop to it.” Twilight said. She used her magic to levitate a diagram of the Castle out of a drawer.
Maud Pie and The Smooze arrived just after sunrise at the door of the Palace of Friendship. Princess Twilight Sparkle was there to greet them. “Good morning.” Twilight called out as the grey mare and her green ooze lifeform fiancé approached. They were moving slowly. Twilight had to wait thirty seconds before Maud was close enough to respond in a normal voice.
“Good Morning, Your Highness. Pinkie and I have a big day planned. I need to go meet her soon. May I leave The Smooze in your hooves?” Maud asked.
Twilight twitched her eyebrow. “Sure.” She said.
“Thank you for your generosity, Your Highness.” Maud said. She turned to The Smooze. “I will pick you up here in the evening. Pinkie will cook dinner for the three of us tonight.” Maud said.
The Smooze nodded in the best way a neckless being can. It was more of a bow.
“I will see the two of you later then. Have a nice day together.” Maud said. She trotted away.
“See you later, Maud.” Twilight said. She turned to The Smooze. “You have a suitcase. May I take your luggage?” Twilight said.
The Smooze nodded. Twilight used her magic to lift the suitcase into the air. “This is heavy. Did you bring gems to eat?” Twilight asked.
The Smooze merely followed Twilight. Twilight gazed at The Smooze. “There is something different about you. You are not the same as before, and I don’t mean your hat. I’ve got it. You have eyes. You didn’t have eyes before now. Why do you have eyes? You could see without them before this morning.” Twilight said.
The Smooze moved his head side to side.
“Is it because Maud prefers you with eyes?” Twilight asked.
The Smooze nodded.
“I like them. They’re beautiful.” Twilight said.
The Smooze grinned broadly. The Smooze oozed silently next to Twilight Sparkle for the next minute or so as she showed him to the guest room.
Twilight opened a door on a spartanly decorated, but warm bedroom. “This will be your room while you’re staying with us. It has an en suite bathroom through that door.” Twilight said as she trotted into the room. She placed the suitcase on the floor. “I will have to leave you now, but I will be sending my assistant Spike down to you in a minute to see to your needs. Don’t hesitate to tell him if you need anything. I apologize for being a poor host at the moment, but I will be leading tour group of school colts through the castle in a few minutes, and I need to prepare for them. Please, make yourself at home.” Twilight said. The Smooze moved almost imperceptibly.
Twilight made a face of anger. Her lips moved into a sneer. “You wish to marry a good friend of mine, and you wish me to conduct the ceremony. I won’t put my hoofmark of approval on your union unless you demonstrate to me you are a sapient creature. If you are trying to say something to me, you better try harder because if you can’t prove you aren’t just a glorified pet rock, I will do everything in my power to separate you from Maud. I care about my friends and I won’t let them ruin their lives because they’re lonely.” Twilight said. The Smooze blinked.
“Not good enough, Smooze. Spike will be here in a moment. Perhaps he will be able to get through to you.” Twilight said. She trotted out in a huff, and closed the door behind her. Twilight did some deep breathing exercises as she trotted to the front door. “Get it together, Twilight. You can’t let the foals see you like this.” Twilight said to herself. Twilight arrived at the front door. She stood still on the steps and enjoyed the warmth of the morning sunlight on her face. Cheerielee and her class arrived at the castle right on time. “Good morning, Princess Twilight.” Cheerielee said. She bowed as did her entire class.
Twilight took some flashcards out of a small satchel she was wearing. “Good morning, Ms Cheerielee. Good morning, students. I am happy to have you here. Why don’t you come on in and we’ll start the tour.” Twilight said. After the ponies had trotted into the entry room, Twilight stopped and spoke once more. “Nice place. Isn’t it. Does any pony known how this castle was made?” Twilight said. Many hooves shot into the air. “Ooo ooo ooo!” Cried out a Unicorn foal.
“Yes, Snails.” Twilight said.
“You made it with your friendship magic.” Snails said.
“Not exactly. It wasn’t my magic that grew this castle. I am going to tell you the tale. I am going to tell you the tale of how my friends and I faced and overcame the threat of Lord Tirek.” Twilight said. She breathed in and out. She took a comfortable pose. “It all started for me with a summons from Princess Celestia.” She began.
Forty five minutes later Twilight had finished regaling the students with her tale of triumph and answered most of the foals and fillies questions. She couldn’t tell them why Lord Tirek was so mean. “That’s enough of that subject for now. Let’s move on with the tour. I am going to start with my favourite room, the library. Follow me.” Twilight said. She trotted joyfully ahead of the students. “Come right in.” Said Twilight at the door to the library. “Take a look around. You’ll find books that even foals and fillies can enjoy. The illustrated Equestrian guide to history is one of them. Have a browse. You may be surprised what you find.” Twilight said.
Applebloom spoke up. “Ah’m already surprised. Who’s the green guy eating your books?” She said. Twilight glared into the library. There was The Smooze. He had lost his eyes, and a book was inside of him.
Twilight gasped. “That’s my signed first edition of Celestia’s Sensational Solar Spells. Not even The Princess has any more of those. That was a coronation present from my parents. It only survived the blast from Tirek because I keep it in a special locked case. You chose the wrong book to chow down on, buddy.” Twilight charged The Smooze. “Heyaaaa!” She screamed.
As Twilight Sparkle neared The Smooze she caught sight of the students watching her with rapt attention. Twilight skidded to a halt. “That my little Ponies is the wrong way to deal with a disagreement with a friend and houseguest. Twilight cleared her throat. “The Smooze, if you are hungry, we have a kitchen that is well stocked. I am sure Spike would be happy to prepare you something. However, I must inform you that none of the books here are for eating, and food is not allowed in the library at all. Please, return my book.” Twilight said.
The Smooze spat the book into Twilight Sparkle’s outstretched hooves. Twilight looked the book over. “It’s just a little slimy. It’s still good.” She said. Twilight hugged the book to her chest and teared up a little. “Thank you, Smooze.” She said.
Spike wandered into the library. “There you are, Smooze. Sorry, I spaced out for a few moments. I was licking on an especially tasty segment of my dragonite. Would you like to go see the sites around Ponyville, now?” Spike asked.
The Smooze slowly glided in Spike’s direction.
Twilight groaned. “Spike, I think the Smooze is hungry. Would you like to take him to the kitchen and figure out what he eats? No, I’ll do it. We can all go to the kitchen. You can make the students your famous nachos. That’s alright, Ms Cheerielee?” Twilight said.
“Yes Princess, the students could use a little snack.” Cheerielee said.
“I can handle The Smooze and making nachos. I am used to multi-tasking in the kitchen. You can guide the class to the dining room. I’m sure they’d love to hear the tale of how we saved the crystal empire. Here’s a spoiler foals and fillies. I’m super heroic.” Spike said.
“Wow!” Some of the students said. The foals and fillies galloped about with enthusiasm.
“You youngsters sure do love my stories. Come on. Follow me.” Twilight said. She used her magic to return her beloved book to its appropriate place.
Hours passed, and the rest of the students’ tour went perfectly. Twilight’s mood was improved after she waved goodbye to Ms Cheerielee and her class. The Smooze was out with Spike, so Twilight decided to go visit a friend.
It was mid-afternoon when Twilight Sparkle arrived at Fluttershy’s cottage. Fluttershy was an expert on communicating with all creatures, great and small. If anyone could help her reach The Smooze, she could. Twilight knocked on the door. There was no answer. Twilight heard a roar from behind the cottage. She raced to investigate.
Behind the cottage she found a bear on top of a cyan Pegasus. “You think you’ve got me. We’ll see about that.” The Pegasus said. She pulled her legs out from under the bear and used them in an extraordinary feat of flexibility to free herself. “The battle continues.” The Pegasus declared. Her rainbow mane flowed dramatically in the wind.
Twilight grimaced. “Rainbow Dash, why are you wrestling a bear? Where’s Fluttershy?” Twilight asked.
“Bears need exercise like everypony else. Might as well make it fun exercise. Fluttershy is going to be away for a few days. She’s going to assist her friend Tree Hugger with some field research someplace.” Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth. “And I am not jealous at all.” She breathed in and out. “So, she asked me to keep an eye on her place as my house is made out of clouds and does not need watching.” Rainbow Dash said.
“Uh huh, well, I guess I’ll get going then.” Twilight said.
“I know you came to see Fluttershy, but maybe I can help you. Come on in the cottage. I can mix you up my new protein shake. It’s guaranteed to improve muscle tone, and add shininess to your coat.” Rainbow Dash said.
“You can’t believe flashy marketing in magazines and on bottles.” Twilight said.
“Marketing! This is an RD guarantee. This shake is of my own concocting.” Rainbow Dash said. She flew close to Twilight and whispered into her ear. “The key ingredient is powdered walnuts.” She said.
“I’ll try a small glass.” Twilight said.
Rainbow Dash turned to the bear, “You’re welcome to join us. I’d bet you’d love the stuff, Buddy.” She said.
The bear roared with delight.
The three entered the cottage together. Five minutes later they were drinking a thick brown mixture from different sized containers. Twilight Sparkle took a sip from one of Fluttershy’s teacups.
“Well, what do you think?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“There’s certainly a lot of a lot things in this. It’s so thick.” Twilight said.
“The bear seems to love it. He can’t get enough of the stuff.” Rainbow Dash said.
The bear was eagerly licking the bottom of a large jar.
“I think it’s all the honey, Honey.” Twilight said.
“Funny.” Rainbow Dash said. “I’m dying to know what your business is with Fluttershy. Is that owl still spitting up on your floors. Maybe I can talk to him. I’m getting better with animals. I think I got a little bit of Fluttershy’s special talent from when I had her cutie mark. If I really truly listen, I can almost understand them. If I pay attention to their actions, I can figure out there needs. Fluttershy’s animals are pretty smart, so that helps.” Rainbow Dash said.
“You’re still being affected by the cutie mark swapping spell. Is that why you freaked out when Tank was about to hibernate? Did he satisfy some kind of caring compulsion?” Twilight asked.
“Yes, he did, but it was more than that. Tank came from Fluttershy. He is a living symbol of the bond between us.” Rainbow Dash blushed and turned away.
“The two of you are really going to have to sort out your feelings one day, but I know this conversation makes you uncomfortable, so we can talk about The Smooze.” Twilight said.
“What about The Smooze?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“What do you think of him?” Twilight responded.
“I think The Smooze was out of control at the Gala. Getting drunk like that is not awesome.” Rainbow Dash said.
“I’m not sure the gold and jewels drunkened him, but do you think he was thinking about his actions?” Twilight said.
“Who knows, but it wasn’t cool.” Rainbow said.
“Would you say he was an animal?”
“When The Smooze was drunk, yeah. I had an uncle like that. Took almost dying to get him to quit the sauce.” Rainbow Dash said.
Twilight stood up. “We’re not getting anywhere like this, Rainbow Dash. Would you be free to come with me right now?”
“Where are we going? I can’t be gone long. The animals get restless when left alone for too long.” Rainbow Dash said.
“We are going to find The Smooze.” Twilight said dramatically.
“Right.” Rainbow Dash said. She stood bravely next to Twilight Sparkle. She smiled at her fiend. “But I can’t be gone more than a few hours.” Rainbow Dash added.
Twilight Sparkle was not sure why, but she felt comforted by Rainbow Dash’s presence in the sky with her. The two winged ponies soared over Ponyville. Rainbow Dash spotted The Smooze quickly. The Smooze was with Spike. They were standing on the site of the late Golden Oaks Library. The site was fenced off.
Spike was rambling on. “You see Smooze, Twilight owns this land now. She was forced to buy it after her friends stole the roots from Library. They didn’t think of it as stealing at the time. Twilight would like to see the land developed into a learning centre, but there isn’t nearly enough money in this year’s budget, and there probably won’t be in next year’s either. We don’t have enough to even hire an architect to make a design for the centre, and it is hard to solicit funds from private donors if you don’t have a design.” He said
The Smooze wiggled.
“I don’t think Twilight could design it herself. I have a few ideas myself though.” Spike said.
Rainbow Dash landed forcefully between Spike and The Smooze. Twilight Sparkle floated gracefully to the ground nearby.
“Hi Spike. Yo Smooze. How’s it hanging?” Rainbow Dash said.
“Hi, Rainbow Dash. I was just showing The Smooze around Ponyville. He seems fascinated by this place for some reason.” Spike said.
“Having communications issues eh? Leave it to me. I’ve developed amazing understanding powers. Tell me The Smooze. What makes this place so special to you?” Rainbow Dash said.
The Smooze moved closer to Rainbow Dash.
“Well that makes sense.” Rainbow Dash said.
“What did he say? Was it wise?” Twilight asked.
“Ask him yourself. He’s not making animal sounds. He’s talking into your brain, but he’s not using your ears. Some kind of magic. You should be able to hear him if I can. I don’t even have a horn.” Rainbow Dash said.
Twilight starred at The Smooze. She concentrated.
“Good afternoon, Your Highness.” A gentle voice said in her mind. Twilight lurched back. “Whoa!” She cried out.
“Please, call me Twilight.” She said to The Smooze.
“Thank you, Twilight. Now I have your attention, I would like to apologize for reading your book without your permission.” The Smooze said.
“So, you put books inside yourself to read?” Twilight asked.
“Yes, I don’t see things the same way ponies do. I understand you thought I was eating it. You need not fear. Paper I find unappetizing.” The Smooze said. He jiggled.
Twilight hugged Rainbow Dash. “Thank you, Rainbow Dash. I can talk to him now. He’s not an animal. He can think and read. I still don’t know if I want him to marry a pony, but I know I will soon.” Twilight said.
Rainbow gently pried Twilight off her. “No problem, Twilight. Who’s marrying The Smooze?” Rainbow said.
“I’ll tell you all about it later. I’d like to head back to the palace now. Would you like to tag along?” Twilight asked.
“Nah, I’ve got a checkers match with Angel Bunny scheduled for today. If I miss it, he’ll claim a win by default.” Rainbow Dash said. She flew up and circled round. “It was nice to see you again, Smooze. See ya later, everypony.” She said. She flew off with a rainbow trailing behind her.
Twilight turned to Spike. “Can you hear The Smooze’s voice in your head as well?” She asked.
“You can too? Ohhh, I thought I was finally getting those mind reading powers I’ve always wanted.” Spike said.
“Spike, you can breath fire hot enough to melt iron, and you can bathe in lava. You already have enough powers if you ask me.” Twilight said. She turned to The Smooze. “You can project your thoughts, and you can grow eyes. Can you do anything else?” Twilight asked.
The Smooze grew long graceful arms from his sides. His eyes reappeared on his face. “These arms can come in handy.” The Smooze thought into Spike and Twilight’s minds.
Twilight laughed. “So, what do you think of Ponyville?” She asked.
The Smooze told her as Spike reminded him of the places they had seen.
Late in the afternoon, The Smooze and Twilight sat alone by her favourite window. Twilight decided it was time to have a serious discussion with The Smooze. “I’m not really a believer in the Cult of Celestia, but I was born into The Faith. Now, I am a princess, and I have a role similar to that of a priestess. This is why I am qualified to marry you, but I will not perform the ceremony unless you convert. The Pie family takes The Faith seriously. I won’t walk all over their beliefs.” Twilight said.
“So, you accept me as sufficiently wise and experienced?” The Smooze asked.
“Not yet, but I’m getting there.” Twilight said.
“I am glad you are not taking this lightly. Yes, I plan to convert at The Prism Falls meditation centre. I believe it is a secret temple. I find your pony religious suppression customs odd.” The Smooze said.
“I find them to be oppressive, but possibly necessary. That’s a discussion for another day. Prism falls huh. Sounds romantic. A lot of ponies go there for their honeymoon. That’s where my brother and Cadence went.” Twilight said. She blushed and put her hoof to her mouth. “Uh, Smooze, you do know what two ponies do when they love each other very much?” Twilight asked.
The Smooze jiggled in a way that produced a soft laughing noise. “Oh Twilight, I have been watching mammals for millennia. I know your ways. Maud will be sufficiently loved. We have discussed such things. We have engaged in pleasing experiments.” The Smooze said.
“I don’t want to intrude on your privacy. It’s just. These things are important in a marriage. I will be talking to Maud about this as well. It is not a conversation I look forward to very much.” Twilight said.
“I applaud your efforts on our behalf.” The Smooze said. “Please, excuse me. I must go freshen up. Maud and Pinkie Pie will be arriving soon to take me to dinner.”
“Thank you for your company. I’ll see you when they arrive then.” Twilight said.
The Smooze left. Twilight looked out the window and sighed. She thought of Flash Sentry. She thought of him as a human and a pony. She found her feelings to be very confusing.
Maud and Pinkie Pie arrived just on sunset. “Wow! It was a big day. You wouldn’t believe all the things we saw and did.” Pinkie Pie said. She pranced around Twilight Sparkle and Maud.
“Is The Smooze ready, Your Highness?” Maud asked.
“Spike’s going to retrieve him now.” Twilight said.
Spike entered the room with a run. “Princess and ladies, may I present The Smooze.” He said with a bow.
A stallion entered the room. He was tall and handsome. His coat was a shade of green so light it was near white. His mane and tail were a shade of green so dark it was almost black. His eyes were like emeralds. His cutiemark was his smile when he was a creature of slime.
Twilight’s jaw fell open.
“Wow!” Pinkie Pie said. “You’re handsome, but it looks like someone sneezed on your flank.”
The Smooze raised his eyebrows.
Maud grinned with pleasure. She trotted over to Twilight and gently lifted up her jaw. “The Smooze has studied changeling magic extensively. He can transform into almost anything. Even rocks.” Maud said.
“Can he turn into a dragon?” Spike asked.
The stallion trotted to Maud’s side. “Yes, Spike, I can take the form of a dragon, and I can breath fire, but I cannot lava swim or replicate the smell.” The Smooze said. He voice was that of a gentle and educated pony.
“Could you become an alicorn?” Twilight whispered.
“I could take such a form, but I don’t like flying, and directing magic through a horn makes me dizzy. No matter what I look like. I am a creature of green slime in truth. Remember that, Princess Twilight.” The Smooze said.
“No, you are a being who must be proved to be sufficiently wise and experienced to marry my friend. I am not certain yet you have proved that to me, but you have proved you can be sufficiently good looking.” Twilight said.
“The Smooze has always been beautiful in my eyes.” Maud said.
Pinkie Pie’s stomach growled.
“You should go make your dinner soon, but before you go, answer me one thing, Smooze. Why did you not take this form right away? Wouldn’t it have been easier to convince me then?” Twilight asked.
The Smooze put his hoof behind his head. “I wanted you to see that I wasn’t an animal by my actions alone. I hoped to impress you with my intellect that way.” He said.
“You wanted to prove your intellect while displaying as little intellect as possible. What exactly were you planning to do?” Twilight asked.
Pinkie Pie’s stomach growled again. It was louder this time. Pinkie laughed awkwardly.
“You know what? We can talk about it tomorrow. Enjoy your dinner, my friends.” Twilight said.
The Pie Sisters and The Smooze wished Twilight a good evening, and trotted into the night. Spike closed the door behind them.
“So, it’s spaghetti night for us.” Spike said.
Tears began to swell in Twilight Sparkle’s eyes.
Spike caught sight of Twilight crying. “We can have tofu hot pot instead.” Spike said. He walked close to the lavender alicorn princess. “You alright, Twilight?” He asked.
Twilight embraced him with her hoof. “It’s just so sad. He’s going to marry her, and then he going to have to live for who knows how much longer than her. The Smooze has a lifespan for thousands of years. I’m certain of this. Earth Ponies barley live past one hundred if their lucky.” She said.
“But we’ll be there to help him find a new wife. I mean both of us are gonna be around for a few thousand years at least.” Spike said.
Twilight cried even harder. “I don’t even know why I’m worried about this. How I am going to tell Princess Celestia I decided to let The Smooze marry a mare just because he’s clever with magic and can become the kind of Stallion that makes me wish Flash Sentry was here right now?” Twilight blubbed.
Spike patted Twilight on the back. “You’ll be fine. Princess Twilight has great faith in you. I can’t make a stallion appear, but I can make spaghetti so tasty you will forget all about them.” Spike said.
Twilight wiped her eyes and blew her nose. “Spike, that’s the best idea I have heard all night. I’ll start writing a letter to The Princess, and you get to work in the kitchen.” She said.
Spike zoomed off without a word.
Twilight Sparkle trotted to her writing desk and pulled out a scroll. She used her magic to light some candles. She dipped a quill in ink and began to compose.
“Dear Princess Celestia,
Love sees not with the eyes, but with the heart….”
