> Tales of Troubled Teens
>  by ActivistVictor
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Wishes for the school year
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sunday August 16, 10:00 P.M.
 
Pocket Pair was sitting at his computer with his tiny domestic shorthair cat Princess on his lap. He was currently engaged in an intense game of poker, and was hoping to win his first major online texas hold'em poker tournament. He was a tall, thin,  17 year old male with dark blonde hair, white skin, and he was sporting a pair of shorts, glasses, and a poker related shirt that said “I don’t even fold laundry” and which displayed each of the four playing card suits below that statement. 
 
Princess on the other hand was a very small full grown cat who looked more like a kitten than an adult cat,  despite being over 10 years old. Her hair was mostly black save for some white patches on her paws, one of her back legs, and in a streak running from her chin down throughout most of her belly, and her fur was very soft, almost like a teddy bear’s. She also tended to meow a lot, but instead of sounding like the traditional meow, when she meowed, it sounded more like “mow ow” than anything.
 
Pocket Pair was currently second of the two remaining players in the tournament, and was hoping to win more than anything considering he had as of yet never won a sizable tournament before. Op to that point, his last opponent had been pushing him around a lot and winning many hands, but now he had him right where he wanted and was hoping to bait him into bluffing everything so he could take a huge chunk out of him. "Come on you joker," Pocket Pair said as he bet a small amount into his opponent. Bluff raise me. I totally promise I won’t snap you off and stack you…” He then giggled with glee as his opponent went all-in on him as he predicted he would and said "Whoops, I lied!” as he called his all in with his three of a kind. His opponent then showed his cards and he said "Ha, a gut shot straight draw? That's all you have? I got this in the ba…. OH WHAT THE FUCK!" he said as his opponent hit his straight and took the last of his chips, eliminating him in second place.
 
“NOOO!” he shouted jumping up in a mixture of shock and rage and unintentionally knocking Princess from his lap in the process. “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? A FOUR  FRIGGING OUTER NOW OF ALL TIMES? Nice fucking dealing asshole!" he said in rage.
 
“Mow ow” Princess said shaken up as she got up off the floor.
 
"Overreacting? I most certainly am not overreacting Princess," Pocket Pair snapped at her. "Did you NOT just see what happened there? I worked hard to get that far and was about to win my first tournament ever. I did everything right and should have had him on the ropes. But do I get rewarded for it? No! Of course not.... Where’s the justice Pokerstars?!....” he concluded with a bitter joke. He then hung his head in shame and said ”I’m such a failure. That was my one chance to make something of myself, to be someone important, to show I could do it despite everyone thinking I can’t… and it’s gone, all gone! … I just suck I guess. 
 
"Mow ow," Princess said.
 
"Yes I do too suck." Pocket Pair said depressed. "I mean really, what have I accomplished in my life so far? Coming in second in a play money tournament? Wow I’m really important now aren’t I? They’re TOTALLY going to be erecting statues of me in the town park for that now aren’t they?!" 
 
"Mow ow," Princess said.
 
"Ok, maybe placing second out of a field of 10,000 is SORT OF impressive,” Pocket Pair said, “But sort of doesn’t count for anything in this world, just like almost doesn’t count except with horseshoes and hand grenades.*sigh*  and unless I change that somehow, I’ll be hard pressed to succeed at anything. I mean seriously, senior year of high school starts tomorrow, and what do I have to show for myself?  I’ve never had real friends, never started a business, never accomplished ANY of my lifelong goals, never had a girlfriend…. Never been laid.” he concluded with a whisper.
 
 
“Mow ow?” Princess asked.
 
 
“Oh nothing, nothing, I was just thinking to myself.” Pocket Pair replied nervously.  “But I digress. I’m a loser Princess, and I haven’t succeeded at anything. I mean heck, the only thing I HAVE succeeded at is convincing everyone how much of a weirdo I am,  and it's left me completely alone,  without a single friend in the world." 
 
“Mow ow,” Princess said.
 
“Ralph and Applejack?" Pocket Pair said doubtfully. “Hehe, I wouldn’t go so far as to call them friends Princess. I mean sure they sit with me at lunch, but that’s probably only because all the other tables are filled up as opposed to genuine desire to be around me. None of them ever actually invite me to do anything outside of school, and considering that I’d be hard pressed to call them anything more than just acquaintances. And in some ways they don’t even qualify as that to be honest. For example, lately all Ralph does is tell me to shut up when I try talk about things which are bothering me instead of actually listening to me and helping me like a real friend would.  And while Applejack isn’t an outright asshole like that, lately I keep catching her staring at me and then quickly looking away from me once I look towards her. *sigh*, probably just thinking to herself how much of a weirdo I am, just like everyone else does. Maybe I should just accept the fact that I'll never  be accepted..."
 
He then shook his head in frustration and said "No, I can't do that! Not yet at least! I mean this is senior year we're talking about. The year when anything is possible, at least if all those hollywood movies I’ve watched have any relation to reality. I have to at least try to make something of myself don’t I? …. And I think I know just the thing to do to fix all my problems once and for all, get myself a real live girlfriend this year. Maybe then I won’t feel so alone and friendless all the time anymore, and maybe I can finally know what it’s like to get laid…” he said concluding with a whisper.
 
"Mow ow?" Princess said.
 
“Laid, di I say laid...?” Pocket Pair said nervously, “ I meant to say made, as in a made man. Like how they are in the mob…”
 
“Mow ow,” Princess replied slyly.
 
“Yes of course it makes sense in this context,” Pocket Pair said trying to bullshit himself out of the situation, “Everyone uses that term when it comes to getting a girlfriend! You do know that RIGHT Princess,” he said turning to her.
 
“Mow ow…” She started before he cut her off.
 
“No I am NOT a terrible liar,” Pocket Pair said, “I mean come on, I AM a poker player after all!”
 
“Mow,” she started before he cut her off again.
 
“But anyways,” he said changing the subject, “How am I going to go about getting a girlfriend anyways? I mean it’s not like they make stores for girls or anything…”
 
“Mow ow…” Princess remarked slyly.
 
“Ok, yes,  I guess in a way whorehouses sort of do count as that.” Pocket Pair said exasperated, “But I don’t want a whore, I want a real girlfriend. *sigh* But with the way I am now, what chance do I have to get one? None, that’s what!  No, if I want to make this work, I need to go in with a plan, but ugh, where am I going to find one of those this late on a Sunday?” he said looking around in exasperation. However, his panic was soon lost as his eyes then settled on his computer and he said  "Of course, I’ll use Google,” while turning to Princess, “They have everything on there, so if I use it I should have no issue finding good advice as to how I should act if I want to get a girlfriend on there.” He then grabbed Princess off the floor, before he then sat down with her in his chair and said "I hope you used the litterbox recently Princess, because I can guarantee we’re in for a long night,” before he reached for his mouse and opened Google chrome on his computer.

Monday August 17, 4:00 AM
 
 
“Ugh, what is that,” Pocket Pair’s father said as he noticed light coming into their room. “Rose, did you forget to turn the light off AGAIN?”
 
“No, it’s probably YOU who forgot to turn the light off, “ Pocket Pair’s mother said, “after all, you’re always playing dice with buddies. You probably fell asleep playing and left the lights on… AGAIN!."

Hey wait," Pocket Pair's dad said getting up out of bed, "That light isn't even coming from our room. It's coming from son's room. Ugh, he probably stayed up playing his stupid poker games again. Doesn't he realize school starts in like three hours?”
 
“Probably, “his mother said, “but just in case he doesn’t, you make sure to ask him when you go check on him,” she said as she rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.
 
“What!,” his father said ,” but this time is YOUR turn to check on him!”
 
"Yeah? Well that deal had a statute of limitations, and I’m afraid it just expired.” she said, before adding. “Trust me, I’m a lawyer.”
 
“Heh, trusting a lawyer, not isn’t THAT a novel concept, ” his father said getting up in irritation and exiting his room. He then walked down the hall, entered his son's room, and said  "what are you doing up at this time of night?" 
 
"Oh, dad,” Pocket Pair said turning to face him nervously, “What a nice surprise, what are you doing up right now? It’s almost 4:20 blaze it in the morning”
 
“That’s what I’m asking you?” his dad said, “Don’t you have any idea school starts tomorrow, or rather today, considering it’s after midnight.”
 
“Well of course I am aware that it’s late, it’s just...” Pocket Pair stalled, “ I have this project due in school and I need to finish it."
 
"Oh, ok, “ he said yawning and leaving the room, before he oled upright and turned around. “Wait a minute, how do you have a project due? School hasn’t even started yet.”
 
"Oh, well.. You see.” Pocket Pair replied. "It was a summer project, they issued it over the summer and told us to turn it in on the first day of classes."
 
“Hmmm,” he said scratching his chin..  “oh  alright finish your project then. But once you're done you better shut that computer and head right to bed. Got it CALEDON!"
 
"Ok got it,” he said turning away, before he stiffened and said “hey, I told you, my name isn’t Caledon anymore, it's Pocket Pair!"
 
"Yeah yeah whatever, " his dad said leaving the room rolling his eyes. "Goodnight Caledon," he said before he mostly closed the door.
 
"Pocket Pair! POCKET PAIR! I literally just told you that!" Pocket Pair shouted after him in irritation. He then turned around and said, “They never listen, they just never listen, to even a single thing I say!” he said exasperated as he picked the sleeping Princess up off his lap and gently put her on his bed.
 
“Mow ow,” Princess said being woken up from the transfer.
 
“Oops, sorry about that.” Pocket Pair said, “I didn't mean to wake you up. Buuutttt now that you are awake, and that i’ve concluded my research, you mind listening to what I've come up with?"
 
“Mow ow,” Princess said groggily.
 
“Oh come on, I swear it will only be a couple minutes" Pocket Pair said, before he printed the research, got the printed paper from the printer, and then proceeded to shut off his computer. He then held the papers in front of himself and began reading to Princess. “Ok, here’s what I found. From browsing the stories on sites like yahoo answers, playersoftheyear.net, and bag50anight.com, it appears that the most effective way to get someone to want me is to listen to women, support them, and above all else, especially in the case of popular girls, always tells them they’re right no matter what. And since the girl I want most is VERY popular, I see no reason why I shouldn’t use that strategy with her. So,this year, I am going to  blindly agree with everything a person of interest says instead of challenging it or responding weirdly like I normally do when I either disagree with it or it contradicts something I know. That way, everyone will think i’m cool for once, and I  FINALLY won’t feel so alone all the time. So what do you think?” he said turning towards Princess.
 
“Mow ow,” Princess replied rolling her eyes.
 
“Bad idea? Bad idea! What do you mean it’s a bad idea?” Pocket Pair said annoyed, “ I mean  come on, it makes total sense! After all, why WOULDN’T a girl want to be around someone who always agreed with them. They’d never have to get in an argument and would be happy knowing they were always right.
 
“Mow ow” Princess  replied.
 
“Be myself you say?” Pocket Pair responded, “HA” hw laughed bitterly, “No offense Princess, but that’s just something they “teach” in children’s shows because it masks the harsh truth of the world. In the real world, no one would EVER want me if i acted like myself. They’d just think i’m weird and instantly brush me off!”
 
“Mow ow,” Princess replied, but was cut off.
 
“You know what, I’m sorry Princess, but I just know I’m right on this.” Pocket Pair said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to head to the bathroom in the blue man lobby and brush my teeth.” he said as he exited the room and went to the bathroom.
 
Upon reaching the bathroom, he got out his toothbrush and said “ heh, bad idea? What does she know? This plan is perfect. I mean I got it by summarizing what I found on SEVERAL sites online, and there’s no way all of them can be wrong… right?" He then spit out the toothpaste and said "But still… considering how important this is I GUESS it can't hurt to discuss this with a second party, at least to make sure I don’t give the wrong first impression or didn’t read what the sites had to say incorrectly. Hehe, I guess having acquaintances CAN come in handy after all" he said as he got out his phone and composed a text message that said “need to talk to you tomorrow at lunch. IMPORTANT!” before sending it to both Ralph and Applejack separately.
 
He then finished brushing his teeth and headed back towards his bedroom before putting his phone on his dresser and then climbing into bed next to Princess.However, before he could get beneath the covers, he was surprised to hear his cellphone vibrate on his dresser indicating a text message. “Odd, who could that be at this time of day?” he said as he picked up his phone and brought up the screen. Much to his surprise, he saw that Applejack had replied to his text message, and he promptly opened the text message and began to read it. 
 
“Howdy! I got your message and responded as soon as I saw it. Everything ok P Pair?” Applejack said.
 
Pocket Pair, slightly irritated at being delayed from slumber, hit the compose button and typed a message that said “Applejack, what on Earth are you doing up at this time of night?” before he sent it to her.
 
She quickly responded and said “Well,  I’m up because applebloom was having trouble sleeping again. I woke up to her shouting about being virused and when I went to her room I saw she was playing agar.io again. Apparently she thinks her special talent could be being a popular let’s player on youtube. I mean I don’t have an issue with that if it is that, but I certainly hope that doesn’t mean she’ll be a obnoxious as Pewdiepie in a few years… But I digress, what did YOU want to talk about?”
 
“Ugh,” Pocket Pair said, “I’m so tired...” before he typed in a response that said “I don’t feel like explaining this now. I'm too frigging tired to do it right” And sent it to her. However, before he could even put his head on the pillow and attempt to go to sleep, he received another response from Applejack which caused him to groan and say, "Ugh" before he got up and checked his phone again.
 
“I know you’re tired,” Applejack said, “but I also get the feeling there’s something that’s bothering you. Won’t you please try and tell me what it is?"

Pocket Pair, not wanting to answer, replied and said "There’s nothing bothering me Applejack, I just need to get some advice about something I’m planning. Goodnight!" before he sent it and turned off his phone. "Frigging Applejack, " he said. "I really don’t know what to think of her! I mean she talks all nice and acts like she cares, but if she really does care then why doesn’t she ever invite me to do anything? I mean people who care about others try to include them in their lives don’t they, and yet she makes virtually no effort to do so. *sigh* I REALLY need to make this girlfriend plan work. I literally can’t take any more of this thing people do where they constantly get my hopes up and then always fall short when the chips go in the middle. So much disappointment, I just can’t take it…” he said yawning…” I just can’t!” he said, before he fell fast asleep just as the first rays of dawn peeked above the eastern horizon.
> Meeting the cast
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday August 17, 7:00 AM
 
Pocket Pair was sound asleep in his bed, having a pleaseant dream, when all of the sudden his alarm clock rang signaling it was time to get up for the day. “Ugh, it’s too early,” he said groaning as he begrudgingly got up and shut off his alarm clock.  “And I was aving such a good dream too! I was i a poker tournament playing against Phil Hellmuth and just took most of his chips to gain the lead. …. I wish I could go back to sleep and finish it out, at least that dream didn’t SUCK like my life does.” However, he suddenly remembered his plan and said “but you know what, all of that is about to change! Once my plan goes into action things are gonna improve, and I will ever have to deal with being alone or ignored again.   So in any case, and I can’t believe i’m actually saying this,  but I best be getting to school as soon as possible." he said before he grabbed a t shirt which read “I’d rather be playing poker”, some shorts, and a pair of underwear, then went to the bathroom to get dressed and brush his teeth. Upon completing said tass,  he exited the bathroom and walked downstairs with the intent to quickly grab his backpack, exit his house, and begin walking to school. However, before he managed to successfully get out the door, he heard a voice behind him say "What are you doing up so early?" and he instantly cringed.

He then turned around around annoyed and said, "Hi mom.”

“Hi” she replied, “Now tell me,  why are you up at 7 in the morning?”

“Oh, well... “ Pocket Pair said, not feeling like explaining his plan, “I got up early because I have to be at school early for… something. And on that note, I should be going! Don’t want to be late after all… .” he said before attempting to leave out the door.

“Not so fast,” his mom said stopping him, “What exactly do you have to be there early for?” 

“Uh,” Pocket Pair said turning around, starting to get slightly annoyed at his delayed departure, “I have to get there early for a… club meeting of sorts I guess., ” he said before trying to turn and leave again.

“Oh, and what’s this club about Victor?” his mom said.

“Ok, first of all, I’m not Victor anymore, my name is Pocket Pair, How many times must I tell you this?” Pocket Pair replied starting to get agitated. “Secondly, I don’t remember offhand exactly which the cub is about! But what I DO know is that if I don’t leave now, i’m going to be late!” he said turning and attempting to leave again.

“Now hold it right there!,” his mom said causing his irritation to increase further, “How can you not even remember which club you’re going to?”

“I don’t know, I just don’t right now,” Pocket Pair said turning around again, “And that isn’t going to magically change itself if you keep on asking me over and over!”

“Hey, I don’t like your attitude,” his mom said.

“Well I wouldn’t have an attitude if you didn’t keep insisting I tell you when it’s clear I don’t feel like talking now because I have somewhere to be!” Pocket Pair said, beginning to raise his voice

"Hey, I'm warning you," his mom said, "Knock it off or there's gonna be trouble!"

"OH, this AGAIN!?!?" Pocket Pair said exasperated, "Threatening me with punishment when things do’t go exactly you way? I mean really, are you aware how pathetic that strategy is?”

“You now what, that’s it!” his mom said angrily, “I’m tired of you talking back to me! You’re grounded after school today.”

“Oh wow, how original! I sure didn’t see THAT coming," Pocket Pair said sarcastically.

“And the day after tomorrow too!” his mother said. “Wanna go for the rest of the week smart ass?”

Pocket Pair, realizing that this wasn’t getting anywhere, groaned before saying "no."

"Good," his mother said. "now get out of here and get to school before you do something else you'll regret."

Pocket Pair, eager to remove himself from the situation, obliged to the request and grabbed his rolling backpack, exited the house and began walking down the front walk. As he walked down the path to his house, he said “Grounding me?! What gives? I didn’t so anything wrong! In fact, if anything she did because she kept pushing my buttons when it was clear I wasn’t in the mood to talk! But of course, even though i’m right I’m the one who ends up getting punished! Real frigging fair!" he said in anger.

He then shook his head and said, "Oh well whatever,  I'm not going to let this ruin my day! After all, once I have ironed out the kinks in my plan NOTHING is going to stop me from getting what I want for once this year. All I have to do is stay positive, and I know the perfect way to get into a positive frame of mind." he said as he whipped out his phone and opened the DH Texas Poker App on  “And to commemorate my new beginning this year, I think it’s time I try a  high stake and see if I have what it takes to play against them.” he said before he entered the Macau casino and bought in for full.

…………………………………………………….

 

Sometime later, as he was nearing the front door of Canterlot High, Pocket Pair groaned and said “oh come on, seven deuce AGAIN! That’s literally the fifth time in the past ten hands I got that garbage hand” as he folded. “Honestly, these people keep bullying me and I know I can get em f I get a hdn, but I have to actually get something better than them to do it or it’s just going to be a losing play in the long run! I mean really, the deck has FOUR aces in it, is it seriously too be much to get just one of those once in a blue moon? ” he said to himself in frustration as he entered the school itself.

However, to his surprise, a voice behind him replied to his question. “No, I don’t think getting just one ace in your hole cards would be too much to ask,” it said,  “considering that when you're nine handed the chances of getting a one is a reasonable 15% meaning you should get one on average about every 7 hands. However, I don’t think that’s the real pressing question at hand here. Instead,  I think what really needs to be asked here is why do you have your phone out inside the school?"

"Well, I uh..." Pocket Pair said nervously.

"Because let me tell you," the voice continued cutting him off, "If you don't give me a very good reason as to why you are blatantly breaking this school's rules I will have no choice other than to send you to Principal Tirek's office immediately!"

“Uh... well I... you see... that is to say...” Pocket Pair said turning around to address the person with extreme fear of being punished. However, upon seeing who was talking to him, his fear quickly changed to rage, as the person addressing him was not a teacher or higher level faculty figure as he suspected, but just the school janitor; a tall thin man sporting a chaotic look in his eyes and with gray spiky hair and a gray goatee.“Hey, you little..." Pocket Pair said, but was cut off in his nascent tirade as the man burst into laughter at his expense.

“Oh ho ho ho you should have seen the look on your face,” the janitor laughed while slapping his knee. “You really thought you were going to get into trouble just now didn't you? Man you kids are so easy!" he said before bursting into laughter again.

“Oh Yeah, well..” Pocket Pair retorted angrily, before smiling smugly and saying “Well of course I did, because before when I saw your face, I thought you were a monster who was going to eat me like Painis Cupcake!"

“Woah now,” the janitor said stopping his laughter. “ Isn’t that hitting a little below the belt?” he said grabbing his belt and pulling his pants up high on his body.

“A LITTLE below the belt?!"Pocket Pair said smartly. “Oh please, don’t give yourself too much credit in that department now!"

“Hm,” the janitor said rubbing his chin, “You certainly are good at retorts.”

“Yeah, I am now aren’t I?” Pocket Pair said, “And on the subject of things I’m good at, I’m also good at doing your mom!”

The janitor, after thinking for a bit, looked at Pocket Pair and said,” You know what kid, I actually sort of like you. Not in a I want to kiss and make out with you sort of way, but still.  I haven't met anyone who is nearly as good at countering my verbal jabs as you as quickly as you did, and for that you’ve earned my respect, albeit not immunity from my trolling." he said reaching out his hand. “The name’s Discord, commander of chaos and advocator of anarchy. Loose cannon cop who doesn’t follow the rules and lives life on the edge. And, just between you and me," he said leaning in for a whisper, "I also play a pretty mean game of poker.”

“I'm... Pocket Pair,” Pocket Pair replied skeptically before reaching out and shaking his hand.

“Nice to meet, wait WHAT!,” Discord said in shock pulling his hand away, “Your name is Pocket Pair? As in the Pocket Pair from the game Texas Hold’em?”

“You don’t believe me...?” Pocket Pair said confused.

“Well how can I?" Discord said. "That name is ridiculous… Is that actually what's on your birth certificate, or are you trying to pull a fast one on me?"

"Oh yeah?" Pocket Pair said slightly annoyed "And I suppose with a name like Discord you have a WHOLE lot of room to go around pointing out others’ names now don’t you?"

“Hmm...touche,” Discord said. “Oh well, I guess I'll let the issue drop then," he said as he intentionally knocked Pocket Pair's phone out of his hands so it clattered on the floor.”

"Hey, what the fuck man!" Pocket Pair shouted as he bent down to inspect the phone, and breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing the screen wasn’t cracked.

“Oh, did I do that?,” Discord said imitating Steve Urkel.

“Uh, YES!” Pocket Pair said angrily, “That was totally your fault and you know it!”

“OH, was it now?” Discord said giddily, “Well I may have knocked it out of your hands, but that wouldn’t have been possible for me most certainly wouldn’t have been possible for me if you had been following the rules and kept your phone away!"

"Excuse me?” Pocket Pair said irritated, “so just because someone happens to have their phone out, which might I add is their property, that magically gives you a right to destroy it?”

"Kid, you do realize who you’re talking to right?," Discord said smugly, "I love love LOVE chaos, and what better representation of chaos is there than destroyed electronics?"

"UGh, whatever," Pocket Pair said rolling his eyes, before turning away and trying to walk to class.

Discord however, caught up to him before he could do so, put his arm on Pocket Pair’s shoulder,  and said "so whatcha playing anyways huh? Candy crush, dice with buddies, my little pony friendship is magic the online RPG?"

"I’m playing poker," Pocket Pair said pushing him off his shoulder, "And to play a good game of poker, I need to be able to concentrate on everything that’s going on in the game! So if you don’t mind…”

"Oh ho, I most certainly don’t mind…” Discord said obnoxiously, “But I think she might not share my opinion on the matter” he said as he pointed to a nearby teacher. “Now what was hear name again? “ he said feigning contemplation. “Ah yes, Ms. Harshwhinney! Living proof that people's names can be used to describe their personality in some cases. Maybe you should show your phone to her, I’m sure she’d LOVE to see it out when it’s not supposed to be!” Discord said walking towards her.

"Wait, you’re not going to tell her are you?" Pocket Pair said frantically.

 

“Oh, I might, and I might not.” Discord said smugly, “With my love for chos, I’m not even sure myself yet… but do you want to take that chance?”

 

“Um… not really…” Pocket Pair replied. 

 

“Well then, perhaps you might want to put the phone away then. Hmmm.” Discord said smiling and getting obnoxiously close to Pocket Pair’s face. 

"Ok, ok, fine, I'll put the frigging phone away," he said before he moved his fingers to back out of the poker app he was playing. However, after seeing he had been dealt pocket kings, he said “AFTER this hand that is! This is a golden opportunity and I’m NOT passing it!"

Discord, rolling his eyes, said "Oh ok fine, but i’m going to watch over your shoulder and use my superior knowledge of the game to point out every mistake you make in this hand." he said before he looked over his shoulder as Pocket Pair acted. Once he had flat called, Discord  pointed at the phone and said, “You just made a major mess up kid.  Look at how many limpers are there before you! YOu should have raised those kings big to scare them away so they don’t beat them!”

 

“Oh, is that so? “ Pocket Pair said smugly, and Discord, looking at the screen, saw the next player raise ridiculously huge. "Well I can’t trap a donkey if I raise big and reveal my hand’s strength early now can I?" Pocket Pair said.

“Hm, I stand corrected," Discord said as he saw Pocket Pair back raise all in and get snapped by his opponent's nine deuce.

"Come on, no trips… OH HELL YES!!!" Pocket Pair said as he flopped four of a kind. "And that’s all she wrote!"

"Uh, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but...," Discord said pointing to the phone, and Pocket Pair, looking back and quickly becoming horrified, saw his opponent had gotten an even better straight flush with the last two cards, and won his entire stack. Before said opponent left the table with his cheaply won money, he made sure to use the default reply thanks! Like a classless jerk who felt he deserved to win there.

"I GOT SUCKED OUT ON AGAIN! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!" Pocket Pair said losing his temper and throwing his phone down. "He called a raise with nine fucking deuce!? Ine frigging deuce! Like legit who does that!?  Idiot from northern Europe!"

"Hey hey hey," Discord said, "As much as I find it humorous that you just referenced Phil Hellmuth with that idiot from northern Europe line do you really think this reaction is justified?"

“OF YEAH, AND  WHO THE HELL ASKED YOU ANYWAYS!!!?” Pocket Pair snapped at Discord, before his eyes widened and he said, “uhhh, about that...”

Discord, looking at him in shock, said “ok, I think you’ve played enough poker for one day,” before he took his phone and exited the app for him.

"Yeah, you might be right," Pocket Pair said dejectedly.

"Well, I’m ALWAYS right but that’s beside the point." Discord said, before he looked at the cloc.  “well in any case Pocket Pair, it’s time for me to go. I have business to attend to and can’t stick around and mess with I mean chat with you all day. But if you ever want someone to play poker with, my office is just down the hall. See you later friend!" before he stood up straight, turned around, and walked away.

Pocket Pair, watching him round a corner, said “What the hell is his deal? And where does he get off calling us friends? I literally just met him, and friends are people you have known a long time and hang out with, not… whatever that just was. OH well, enough worrying about him, I have a very important plan I need to give my attention to.”

However, he was caught by surprise when a British accent responded, “Oh really, and just what plan is this mate?”

“Oh,… hi Ralph,” Pocket Pair said turning towards the source of the voice and seeing the Brit of modest height, red spiky hair, and white skin.

“Hi yourself my lad,” Ralph said, “Now tell me, what is this master plan you just mentioned? Does it have anything to do with what you texted me about last night?”

“Umm...,” Pocket Pair said nervously, before saying, “Wait, so you DID get my message?”

 

“Um… yeah,” Ralph said, “you say that as if it’s surprising.”

 

“Well, it’s just I didn’t get a response so I thought…” Pocket Pair said, before Ralph cut him off.

“Oh come on,” Ralph said, “Don’t tell me you thought I was ignoring you again!”

 

“Well, you do have a habit of not replying to my text messages all that often so…” Pocket Pair said. 

 

“Oh chill out will ya wanker,” Ralph said getting annoyed, “For one thing when I got your message it was so late I figured there was no need to respond since you’d just be asleep. Secondly, I knew I would just see you at lunch which was only a few hours away, so why would I reply when I could just talk in person."

“Hmmm” Pocket Pair said dejected, “Maybe, ” before muttering “It’s not like that explains all the other times though…”

“Good, I’m glad you see I’m right like always.” Ralph said, “But regardless, what exactly is it you need advice on?”

“Umm,” Pocket Pair said, “I’ll tell you at lunch.”

“What, why?" Ralph said, “We’re both here now aren’t we, what’s preventing you from saying?”

“Well, Applejack isn’t here now, and I’d rather wait until you both are…” Pocket Pair said, before Ralph cut him off.

“Ugh, that’s it?” Ralph said irritated, “Come on, Applejack is good and hot and all but you don’t need her around to say things. After all, just having me is MORE than good enough.”

“For something this important, I’m afraid I have to disagree.” Pocket Pair said. “I need you both to hear at once because for one, I’m not totally sure I can explain it more than once the same way. And second, I want to make sure everyone hears what everyone has to say so any advice you give to me is as accurate as possible.”

“Hm, I suppose that makes sense… maybe” Ralph said, before looking at the clock and saying “Well in any case, I probably should be off to class. It is across the building and with Ms. Harshwhinney, and heaven forbid I should underestimate the journey and be late to her class.” He then turned and walked away, but before he left he turned back and said ”See you at lunch.”

“See you at lunch,” Pocket Pair said back as he watched Ralph round the corner out of view. Pocket Pair then turned around and began walking down the hallway in the direction of his first class.

Ralph meanwhile, had just rounded the corner out of Pocket Pair's sight when he saw a familiar girl approaching him. She had blonde hair, freckles on her cheeks, and orange skin, and she was wearing  a pair of shoes with apples on them, a denim skirt fastened by a belt with an apple buckle on it, and a button up shirt which which was green around her chest, and white elsewhere. In addition, topping it all off, she wore a trademark  brown Stetson hat on her head. "Ralph, there you are, " she said with a distinctive southern drawl, "ah'v been lookin all over for ya."

“Oh really Applejack?” Ralph said to her, “And why is that pray tell? Have you finally seen how handsome I am and come to ask me out??”

“Ha ha ha, very funny,” Applejack said sarcastically while rolling her eyes at him. She then said “seriously Ralph, it’s about P Pair.”

“Huh,” Ralph said, “And just what’s with the interest in him? Isn’t the Ralphinator good enough for you lass?”

“Ugh,” Applejack groaned,” Please Ralph, this is serious. He sent me a strange text message at like 4:20 this morning and ah want to talk to him about it.”

“Strange how?” Ralph asked.

“Well, he said he needed to talk to me about something today at lunch, and when I pursued the matter he said he just needed advice,” Applejack said.

 

“And this is worth talking to him because…?” Ralph said.

 

“Because ah know him, and ah’m pretty sure that either something’s bothering him, or the advice is for some potential problem he’s’ having.

 

“Applejack, I think you’re getting worked up over nothing,” Ralph said, “I literally just talked to him and he seemed just fine to me.”

"Well that’s just it, ah don’t think ah ...” Applejack said, before her eyes widened in realization. “Wait, ya said you were just talkin’ to him?”

 

“Uh, yeah.” Ralph said.

 

“Well where did he go, we need to make sure he’s ok.” Applejack said.

 

“Woah woah WOAH, Not so fast cowgirl,” Ralph said, “What’s all this about WE? If I go after him I’m going to be late to my first class, and Ms. Harshwhinney will almost certainly give me a tardy for it knowing how strict she is. So if I am going to go with you there had better be a VERY good reason why you need to check up on him right now!”

 

“You want a reason, ah’ll give ya one, “ Applejack said.  “The last time he said he needed advice was that time he got in a war against youtube trolls who were posting disgustin’ comments on tribute videos. After awhile of him fighting em and takin’ down some of their accounts, a bunch of them started making death threats to him in response, and it made him so stressed he stayed up all night unable to get to sleep for weeks. And considerin’ that he just texted me in the middle of the night last night we gotta make sure he isn’t in a similar situation again”

 

“Ok, seriously? Ugh, THAT’S what you want me to be tardy over now?” Ralph asked. 

“Um, yeah!” Applejack replied.

“Ok, first of all it’s not necessary because I highly doubt he’s in anywhere near as bad a spot as that now.” Ralph said, “ I mean heck, when I talked to him he seemed completely fine and even left smiling.”

 

“Phew, well that’s a relief,” Applejack said. 

 

“Second,” Ralph continued ignoring her,  “even if he were in a spot like that, why should I inconveiniance myself to get him out of trouble! The way i see it it’s a learning experience that will teach him to stop being an asshole who picks fights unnecessarily and then expects everyone to bail him out!”

 

“Ralph,” Applejack said shocked, “That’s a pretty darn rude thing to say about our friend!.”

 

“Hey, it’s just the honest truth!” Ralph said defensively, “I would think YOU of all people would know how important honesty is… ‘honest applejack’ “

 

“Ah never said honesty wasn’t important, and ah agree he could use to not be so hot headed sometimes” Applejack replied, “But there’s a difference between being honest and being outright rude like you just were. That strategy aint gonna solve nuthin, and especially when we’re talkin about  P Pair! Plus since when has being combative like that with someone who has a problem solved anything anyways?”

 

 

“Since always!” Ralph replied. 

 

“Oh yeahm” Applejack said, “what if he was addicted to drugs, ya’ll gonna go to him and say he’s a loser and expect him to feel compelled to try and quit afterwards? That’d just make everything worse”

"... How is that even relevant to this matter, Pocket Pair isn’t on drugs,” Ralph said, before muttering “unless of course you count his huge ego as being a drug in which case he’s a huge junkie!”

 

“Ya know what ah mean Ralph,” Applejack said.

 

“No I don’t,” Ralph said, before adding, “But regardless, I’m pretty sure that he’s not in trouble this time. And even if he is by some off chance, I’m certain it’s nothing so extreme that it cannot wait until lunch and would jutify me being late on the first day of class. So with that clarified, I need to be off to my class Applejack! I’ll see you at lunch.” he said before he began walking away.

Applejack, shaking her head mild frustration, said “See ya at lunch Ralph. And don’t ya wait fer me to show to start eatin today ya hear. Ah’m gonna be late on account of ah gotta stock the vending machines around school with fizzy apple cider once the class before lunch lets out.”

“Heh, alrght. More food for me then,” Ralph said, “And it’s a good thing I’ll have more too, considering I’ll have a tall drink of water named Applejack sitting with me at lunch today." he concluded before he turned and kept walking away.

 

“Ugh," Applejack said rolling her eyes, before she too turned and walked away.

 

Meanwhile, at the front office of the school,   a Grey skinned blonde haired student with noticible crossed eyes was sitting in a chair with several trays of muffins on her lap when a pink skinned purple haired teacher came into the room.

The teacher, looking at her, said “are you Derpy Hooves, the transfer student?”

“Uh, yes…” Derpy replied nervously.

“I’m miss Cheerilee, and you’re in my first class today.” the teacher replied. “So please come with me and I’ll help make sure you make it on time!”

 

“Ok, I guess.” Derpy said shyly, “ I just hope this class isn’t mean to me like they were at my old school…”

 

“Oh I can assure you they won’t be.” Cheerilee said  “In fact, we actually have the winner of the last 3 fall formals and spring flings in that class as well, and considering she’s so well liked I’m sure she’ll help to make sure you fit in with the rest of the class.”

 

“Oh, that’s good,” Derpy said excitedly, “What’s her name?”

 

“Sunset Shimmer,” Miss Cheerilee said.

 

“Oh goodie, I can’t wait to meet her,” Derpy said.

 

“Is that so? Well then let’s get to class,” Cheerilee said leaving the room.

 

“Ok,” Derpy said, as she picked up her tray of muffins and followed Cheerilee out of the front office and into the hall.

 

PS

 

Here’s the video that line “idiot from northern europe is from” it’s worth checking out, 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-9VWVzj98s
> Sunset Shimmer Gets Stymied
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday August 17, 7:30 AM

Pocket pair walked towards his first class and said, “Ok, this looks like the place. English class with Miss Cheerilee. Here’s to the start of a better year!” he said smirking as he entered the classroom with high hopes. However, his residence in the room was very short lived, as he quickly jumped back out of the room as fast as he had entered it. “OH no, what’s SHE doing in my class!?” he said frantically. “ I… I’m dreaming… yes, that must be it, this is all just a bad dream where I lost with quads and now Sunset Shimmer is in my first class. And since this is a dream and I’m aware of it, that means I should be able to change it. So, when I reenter the room, Sunset Shimmer will be changed into my greatest crush!” he said peeking his head back into the room. However, upon seeing Sunset, who was tall, skinny, had red hair with yellow highlights (akin to bacon), wore an orange skirt with a pink and purple stripe on it, and also a studded leather jacket, was still there, he said “Ok, no, this isn’t a dream, it’s a frigging NIGHTMARE! Actually no, it in’t a nightmare yet, but it WILL be if she sees me! I have to sneak past her!” He then looked back in the room, and, upon seeing Sunset was distracted, said “here’s my chance” and proceeded to tiptoe into the room to avoid attention. For the first few steps, nothing happened, and Pocket Pair breathed a sigh of relief thinking maybe his stealth had paid off. However, this thought was quickly dashed when he looked again to check if Sunset was still distracted, and was met with her glaring right straight into his eyes.

“And what are YOU looking at!” Sunset exclaimed at him.

“Uh,” Pocket Pair said, before turning behind him and saying “Yeah, what are you looking at!” hoping beyond hope someone was behind him he could point to and cringing upon seeing no one.

“Hey, I’m talking to you, not the air behind you you dolt!” Sunset said quickly getting agitated. “What are you looking at?”

“Um… and by you you mean me?” Pocket Pair said pointing meekly to himself.

“Uh, DUHHH,” Sunset said. “Who the hell else would I be talking to?”

“Um, Chuck Norris…” Pocket Pair said smiling nervously.



“Oh, smart ass huh?” Sunset said angrily, “Well if you’re so smart than you’ll realize what I’m going to do if yu don’t answer my question!”

“Um… what exactly are you going to do? Just so I know” Pocket Pair asked.



“Uh…. well I don’t know yet, but I will think of something!” Sunset relpied, “And unless you want to find out the hard way what that something is you best just answer my question!”



Pocket Pair, frantically thinking, said, “Ok, you got me, I was looking at you because… because…”



“Today please?” Sunset said getting in his face.



“Well, I just looked at you and thought you were pretty and so I sort of… stared I guess” Pocket Pair lied meekly, hoping flattery would appease her.



“Wait… really… er um I mean of course you think that!” Sunset said, “ I am the queen bee after all, and as such everyone has some sort of desire for me, even some of the girls if the ruors are correct! But I digress,” seeing as you’re a nobody, you would do well to curb those thoughts about me, because I can assure you I will NEVER return any sort of feeling to you.”



“Um… ok,” Pocket Pair said, somewhat hurt.



“Good, I’m glad you understand, now get to your seat before you do something else to make a fool out of yourself!” Sunset said.

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Pocket Pair said as he rapidly shuffled to the back of the classroom.

“Good,” Sunset said before turning around to face the front of the room.

Pocket Pair, sighing in relief as Sunset turned around, said to himself “Wow, they weren’t kidding when they said she was a bitch. Is she always like this or is it just that time of the month for her? You know, I don’t want to know. All I do know is that I better avoid her like the plague or she’ll be on me like the plague.” before he shook his head and started doodling on his notebook to calm his nerves.



Meanwhile, at the front of the class, Snips and Snails, Sunset Shimmer’s henchmen, entered the room and headed towards where Sunset was sitting.  Snips was a short pudgy guy with blue skin, orange hair and who wore blue jeans and a black shirt with scissors on it. Snails was taller and thinner and had tan skin, blue-green hair, and wore wore dingy white pants and a green shirt. Snips, after whistling at Sunset, said “Hey good looking, what’s cooking?”



Sunset, ignoring Snips’ remark, said “There you are? Why are you so late!? I told you to get here twenty minutes ago.”

“Well uh,” Snips said, “we tried to be on time for you but we were… unavoidably detained.”



“And what is that line you obviously stole from Caddyshack supposed to mean?” Sunset said glaring at them.



“Well, um..” Snips said meekly before Snails cut him off.



“Well, if you must know,” Snails said, “we saw Rarity in the hallway on the way here and me and Snips just had to flirt with her again.”



“Idiot,” Snips said facepalming him in frustration.



“Uugh,” Sunset said annoyed, “Flirting AGAIN? You honestly think your pathetic crush on that slut Rarity is worth being late to see ME when we have important business to take care of?



“Well of course we do,” Snails said, “If we don’t flirt with her how are me and Snips gonna get into that threesome he wants us to have with her?”



“SNAILS!” Snips said glaring at him.



“OH my gosh, you STILL think that’s going to happen?” Sunset said incredulous, “This is too rich! I can’t believe you two are seriously still delusional enough to think she’d ever go with losers like you!”



“Um, well you do always say she’s a slut,” Snips said, “So I figured if we had a chance with anyone...”



“Hey! Don’t you try and analyze what I just said!” Sunset said annoyed, “I’ve told you before and I’ll say it again, I do the thinking, and you ACT based on what I think, not the other way around! Is that clear!?”



“Hehe, yes miss Shimmer,” Snips said nervously.



“Good” Sunset said, “And now that we’ve got that out of the way,  let’s actually get down to business?” a remark which prompted Snips and Snails to begin snickering. “Ugh, not that kind of business you perverted simpletons. I’m talking about an important issue I need to discuss with you.”



“Oh, yes Miss Shimmer,” Snips said maliciously. “And just what, pray tell, is this issue? Are we going to humiliate another girl by stealing her panties from the girl’s locker room while she’s in the shower? Because let me tell you, I am TOTALLY down for that again!”



“Yeah,” Snails said in blind agreement.



“You two would be!,” Sunset said rolling her eyes, before saying “but I digress, what I have to discuss has nothing to do in with ladies undergarments.  In fact, I know for you at least, it will be much less enjoyable than that ,sad to say. But in any case, right now we have to make sure that this year, like all other years, I win the crown during the fall formal dance and maintain my iron grip on this schoo! As the uncontested leader.”



Snips and Snails, after looking at each other in confusion, then began snickering , before losing control and busting out into uncontrollable laughter.



“AND JUST WHAT IS SO FUNNY!?” Sunset said throwing her hands up in agitation.



“You are, Miss Shimmer” Snips said.



“Yeah,” Snails said, “and here I thought you were just a high strung jerk who didn’t have a sense of humor.”



“SNAILS, SHUT UP!” Snips said frantically placing his hand over Sails mouth.



“EXCUSE ME!” Sunset snapped. “CARE TO SAT THAT TO MY FACE AGAIN?”



“Uh… no?” Snail said meekly taking Snips’s hand off his mouth.



“Smart answer,” Sunset said. “But in any case why were you laughing at that? Is my plan some sort of joke to you?”



“Uh… well,” Snips said scratching the back of his neck.



“Well duh,” Snails said, “ I mean come on, you win every year. You can’t seriously be scared of losing this time.”



“He is right,” Snips said, “And you don’t just win, but you don’t even have anyone running against you! I mean heck, when was the last time someone even so much as ran against you for… ANYTHING? Freshman year? You can’t seriously be this worried about losing that you would call us to class 20 minutes early on the first day of school like this can you?”



“Well it is,” Sunset said, “And you better stop treating this matter like a joke and give it more respect if you know what’s good for you?”



“Uh, but why?” Snips said, “You’re going to win, everyone knows that! Wouldn’t it be better to focus on other things like being laid for once?”



“Wow, you just don’t get it do you you imbecilic horndog,” Sunset said angrily, “Nothing is guaranteed in this school. Sure, you may be right that no one has run against me for over 2 years, but this matter is so important that even given that history I cannot afford to leave anything up to chance. After all, it has always been my dream to be the most popular girl in high school and win the fall formal crown every year for the four years I was in attendance.”



“Wait, that’s seriously your life’s goal?” Snails said, “you really need to straighten out your priorities.”



“EXCUSE ME!” Sunset shouted at him.



“Uh…” Snails said swallowing, “Shutting up.”

“Good boy,” Sunset said, before continuing. “I am so close to that goal now I can practically taste it, and I REFUSE to let it slip away just because I let my guard down and gave someone an easy route to take it away from me.”



“So in other words, we still have to do this don’t we,” Snails asked.



“Absolutely yes,” Sunset said.



Snips and Snails, both groaning, said  “Yes miss Shimmer,”  before all three of them began brainstorming defensive tactics to ensure Sunset’s victory just as the last free seats in the room filled.



At that moment , the teacher, Miss Cheerilee, entered the room with  Derpy Hooves following closely behind her. “Good morning class,” Miss Cheerilee said. “I am Miss Cheerilee, and this is English class. Isn’t that great?” a statement to which most students groaned in response to. Cheerilee then frowned, rolled her eyes, and muttered “you know you could at least PRETEND to be interested you know...” before she shook her head, smiled again, and said, “well, regardless, today we have a new student joining our school from out of district. Would you mind taking a moment to introduce yourself young lady?”

“Sure,” she said. “Hi everyone, my name is Derpy Hooves. I’m 17 years old. I used to go to school at Little Mares special education school,” the mention of which made Pocket Pair shudder. Derpy, not noticing this, said “But now, I’m here with everyone else, and hopefully I can finally feel like I belong. On another note, I have a lot of special talents which I possess. On of them is my ability to deliver mail, I used to deliver mail all the time at Little Mares, and I only dropped a package once… I honestly just don’t know what went wrong there. I’m also a really good musician, and I can literally play anything from the kazoo to the theremin to even a saw with ease, and yes I do mean a saw used to cut wood. .  Finally, and most importantly, I’m also a really good cook, and in face, in commemoration of me coming here to the new school, I made muffins to pass out to everyone in the class.”



“Well,” Miss Cheeilee said, “That’s very thoughtful of you Derpy. Do you need any help passing them out?”



“No, I’m good,” Derpy said.

“Alright, “ Miss Cheerilee said, “In that case, you can start passing them out now. Meanwhile I need leave the room for a second. To address something with the school janitor regarding the notes he keeps leaving on my desk,” she said before she left the room.



“Ok,” Derpy said, before she walked up to the first desk in the first row and began letting the students choose their desired muffins. All the while, Sunset, Snips, and Snails continued to discuss plans nearby.

“Hey,” Snips said, “I know a way you can win the fall formal crown.”

Grr, what now,” Sunset said, highly annoyed.



“Ok,” Snips said, “Well you know how you don’t want anyone else to fuck you out of winning the crown right?”

“Against my better judgement, I am going to say that yes I do.” Sunset said.



“Well” Snips said,” Then it’s clear to me that VERY good way to prevent that is for me and Snails to beat them to the punch and fuck your ourselves. Then, we can record it and upload the video to YouTube and send it to everyone in the school, if that would be alright with you of course Miss Shimmer.”

“Yeah,” Snails said excitedly, “Great idea Snips!”



Sunset, wide eyed, sat there for a second, then quickly shouted “OH MY GOD NO, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU I’M NOT HAVING SEX WITH YOU TWO IMBECILES!” flinging her hands up in frustration at that last word.  As luck would have it, at that very moment, Derpy was approaching Sunset’s desk with her muffin tray and reaching it forward to let her choose a muffin.  As a result, Sunset flinging her hands caused one of them to bump the muffin tray and led to some muffins flying off of it.  While most of these muffins landed right back on the tray harmlessly, one of them bounded off the tray and  came to a rest lodged right in the middle of Sunset’s cleavage.

“WHAT THE?” Sunset said as she looked down in shock, but was quickly cut off when the rest of the class, who was looking that way due to Sunset’s outburst, burst into a fit of hysterical laughter.



“Nice one Derpy,” a blue skinned athlete with dark blue hair named Soarin said.

“YEAAAAH” another athlete with white skin and orange hair named Bulk Biceps said, before he reached out and gave Soarin a high five.



“Oh, that was most enjoyable,” another male with glasses, short hair, and the name of John Frink said. “What with the laughter, elation, and public MOCK-ER-YYYYYYYYYYY,”.

Similar comments continued for a few seconds more seconds as Sunset sat there in shock at what just happened. Finally however, Sunset regained her composure, ad upon noticing everyone laughing at her expense, became enraged and shouted “SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!”. As she said this,  everyone quickly stopped talking and looked at her in utter fear.  Sunset, still fuming, then turned to Derpy, pointed to her, and said “YOU!”

“Uh” Derpy asked looking around and then pointing to herself fearfully, “Me?”

“Yes YOU you dumbass,” Sunset said. “Tell me, just who do you think you are to humiliate me like this in front of everyone?”

“Uh…  last I checked I was Derpy Hooves.” Derpy said nervously.



“Oh, lookie everyone, we got us a SMARTASS here” Sunset said before she got up, balled her fists, and took one step towards Derpy..



“Uh, listen, I don’t want any trouble.” Derpy said backing up.



“Oh, is that so?!” Sunset said harshly, “Well then you DEFINITELY shouldn’t have humiliated the great Sunset Shimmer like that right now!”

“Wait, you’re Sunset Shimmer?” Derpy asked awestruck.



“Uh huh,” Sunset said proudly, “And I am the uncontested ruler of this school.”



“But, Miss Cheerilee said you were nice…” Derpy said shocked,  “And that you would  help welcome to me to the school and fit in…”

“Did she now?” Sunset said, before she breathed in a sigh of relief, and said “You’re right, where are my manners. You are new and I should welcome you… uh Derpy was it right?”



“Yeah,” Derpy asked suspiciously.



“Well Derpy, let m e be the one to give you the OFFICIAL Canterlot High welcome.” Sunset said before she smirked maliciously as she reached out and grabbed the tray of muffins Derpy was holding from here.



”Hey, my muffins!” Derpy said in shock.



“Oh, don’t worry,  I’ll give them back,” Sunset said, “I just have to welcome you to the school first.” she said, before she quickly dropped the tray on the floor, kicked the muffins off of them, and then ground them into crumbs, before she gathered some fo their remains, put them on the tray, and handed it back to Derpy. “Welcome to Canterlot retard!” Sunset said evilly.

Derpy’s eyes watered in sadness  as she looked on in despair at the mess Sunset made of her muffins, before she quickly narrowed her eyes in rage and said “You won’t get away with this Sunset. When I tell miss Cheerilee what happened…”



“What was that, You’re gonna tell WHO NOW!?” Sunset said getting up and advancing on her, causing her to take a step back.



“Uh… uh.” Derpy said in terror.



“Because let me tell you,” Sunset continued, “There’s no way she’ll believe a loser like you! You just got here and I run this school and have a great history with the teachers. So who do you think they’re going to believe?”



Derpy, looking on in despair, then said “well, if no one here will believe me, then I’ll just tell my parents, and they’ll…”



“Your parents?” Sunset interjected. “Oh that’s rich, I highly doubt your parents give two shits about a retard like you! In fact, I wouldn’t be shocked if they put you up for adoption soon. SInce after all, you probably were just a mistake from a night they forgot to wear condoms.” before laughing cruelly.



“But, but I,” Derpy said inching closer to tears.



“Face it,” Sunset said, “You can’t do anything to stop me, because I’m just better than you. And you know what you are…. A complete ad total waste of space, so sorry to say!”



At that last remark, Derpy began crying, and then rapidly started bawling from feeling utterly useless and helpless.



However, this was short lived, as just then Pocket Pair threw his things down on his desk and said “Ok, that’s IT!”, causing the rest of the class to gasp.



“HUH!,” Sunset said turning towards him angrily and glaring at him, “Are you talking to me?”



Pocket Pair, after gulping, said “Yes I am, what you’re doing to her is completely unacceptable and I’m not about to just sit back and let you get away with it anymore. Now apologize to her right now for those horrible things you just said to her!”



Sunset, in shock t what he just said, snickered before she burst into hysterical laughter.  “HhaHaha you’re kidding right, you’ve got to be kidding!  A loser like you thinking he can tell me what to do? Oh now that is HILARIOUS!!!”



“I fail to see what’s so funny,” Pocket Pair aid angrily, “Because I’m not joking here in the slightest.”



“Oh, is that so?!” Sunset said taking a few steps towards him, “Well tell me then wise guy, just how are you going to make me do anything? Need I remind you, I run this school and you’re at the bottom of it.”



“I’ll tell you what I’m going to do,” Pocket Pair said, “ I’m going to tell Cheerilee what happened in addition t Derpy, with both of us saying the same thing she’ll have to believe us.”



“Oh no, please, anything but that,”,” Sunset said before laughing to herself again. “Seriously, that’s your big threat? Working with the retard to try and win over the teacher? Even with both of you telling her she’d ever believe you, why given my reputation at this school I’d say you’d need an army behind you just to stand the slightest of a chance. And I don’t see an army, I just see two morons who are going to be very VERY sorry if they don’t shut the hell up right now!”



“Two? I think you miscounted Sunset” Soarin said as he stood.. “Because I see three losers against you right now, not two. Well, ok, maybe still two losers, since I am pretty popular, no offense, but still, three people are against you and your bullshit.”

“NOOOO, you’re wrong little dude, I see FOUR,” Bulk Biceps said as he too stood up



“Muh hey,” Frink said getting up, “And I shall be the fifth loser to oppose you, what with the fighting of the status quo, the dethroning of the resident bully, and the social CHA-OSSSSSSS.”



Another student named Vinyl Scratch, who had intense blue hair, white skin, and wore a pair of headphones and a pair of pink-lensed mirrored glasses named then stood up and held up six fingers to indicate she was the sixth student. Of note was the fact that fire were those on her left hand, while the sixth was the middle finger on her left hand which she made sure to direct at Sunset.



“And I’m seven, TAKE THAT SUNSET!” Snails said standing up.



“SNAILS!” Sunset and Snips said glaring at him intensely.



“Ummm…. Oops, nevermind.” Snails said nervously before he sat down again.



“Actually, it is still seven.” a yellow skinned, pink haired girl who wore a green skirt and a white tank top on said as she stood up, “because I’m involved, too.”



“And who the hell are you now?,” Sunset said glaring at her.



“The name’s Fluttershy,” Fluttershy retorted, “And I’ve had enough of the way you’re treating Derpy. I mean really, picking on someone who made an honest mistake and driving them to tears? Who do you think you are anyway huh!??” she said giving her patented stare at Sunset and causing Sunset to take a step back nervously.



“And would you look at that, I see students willing to oppose you for what you’ve just done,” Frink said, “And if I recall correcty, judging by the great Frinkian theory I am the proud creator of, *glavin*, in societies with IQs higher than 46, a luxury which your two henchmen likely do not have, seven individuals do in fact formally constitute an army. So, if we indeed were to all tell Cheerilee what was going on, she would be very likely to believe us and leave you in the dirt, guh hey!.”



Sunset, still shaken from Fluttershy’s stare, quickly recomposed herself and glared right back at the seven students standing up in front of her. “Ok,” she snapped, “This may have been amusing at first, but I’ve had ENOUGH. I run this school, not you, and if you aren’t going to respect that I guess I’ll just have to make you do so.  So here’s how this is gonna work. Either you cease your pathetic attempt to oppose me RIGHT NOW, or else you will suffer the consequences for your insolence.”



“Hmm, interesting proposition,” Frink said. “However, I’m afraid I do not agree to those terms, so please let me be so kind as to extend to you a counter offer. *ahem*,  Go fornicate with no one other than your own person.”



“Um what?” Sunset said, “I don’t speak loser, translate it to English so I can actually understand it.”



“Oh? Is that so? Well then allow me to elaborate for you…” Fluttershy said, “What he said was just a very fancy way of telling you to go fuck yourself, and considering what you’ve done I have to say I wholeheartedly agree with that statement.”



“YEAAAAAAAAAH!” Bulk Biceps said in agreement.



Vinyl nodded before extending both of her middle fingers and aiming them at Sunset.

“Face it Sunset, it’s over!” Pocket Pair said. “YOu’re horribly outnumbered and even with your status destined to lose. So if you’re smart you’ll apologize to Derpy right now, and promise never to do or say anything like this to her ever aga…!”



“ENOUGH.” Sunset said cutting him off and causing everyone in front of her to get somewhat scared. “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO YOU’RE TALKING TO!? I’M SUNSET SHIMMER, I RUN THIS SCHOOL, I’M ON TOP OF THE SOCIAL CHAIN, AND I HAVE NO INTENTION OF LETTING SOME IMPUDENT WORMS LIKE YOU TRY AND SHOW ME UP LIKE THIS. SO IF YOU DON’T STOP THIS INSUBORDINATION IMMEDIATELY, THEN I’M GOING TO...”



“You’ll do WHAT now!?” Miss Cheerilee said approaching Sunset from behind.



“Uh oh,” Sunset said nervously, before turning around and seeing it was in fact Miss Cheerilee who was standing behind her. “Heya Miss Cheerilee, what a pleaseant surprise. My you’re looking great today, tell me, is that a new dress?”



“Save the ass kissing Sunset,” Cheeilee said cutting her off, before asking “Now would anyone mind telling me what on Earth is all this commotion about?!”



Pocket Pair then spoke and said, ”Oh nothing, escept the fact that Sunset Shimmer destroyed Derpy’’s muffins, called her a retard sevral times, adn drove her to tears just after you left the room.”



“Miss Cheerilee, this boy is lying,” Sunset said, “Please tell me you don’t believe this nonsense!”



“Don’t believe her,” Pocker Pair retorted, “We all saw what she did,” he said motioning to the whole class, “And you yourself heard how she was threatening us when you came into the room. I mean come on, she wouldn’t say that to us unless she felt she had some reason to defend herself would she?.”



“Hmm,” Cheerilee said scratching her chin, before she turned to Derpy and said, “Is this true?”



“Um,,,” Derpy said with tears still streaming from her eyes, before she fearfully shook hear head.



“Oh come on,” Sunset said, “She’s lying. She’s just new and wanted to start somethign to make a good first impression. You cant believe a single thing she said!”



“Wellll” Cheerilee said scratching her chin.



“Ma’am, you have to believe us, what they said is really what happened,” Soarin’ said.



“YEAHHHH,” Bulk Biceps added.

“Indeedle e dee doo,” Frink assented.



“Well, I still don’t think the behavior you described is in character with the Sunset Shimmer I know,” something which Sunset responded to by smirking victoriously at the students and causing them to get discourged. “HOWEVER,” considering that so many of you say this happened, I have no coice other than to take action to look into the mater further. So Sunset, if you Don’t mind, please accompany me to the principal’s office to discuss this issue with them.”



“YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT FUCKERS, I WO…” Sunset taunted, before her eyes widened as she realized what happend. “WHAT! But I’m the star pupil. You can’t just...”

“Sunset, you aren’t in trouble YET, I am just going to look into this matter further and want you to accompany me,” Cheerilee said, “This shouldn’t be a problem should it? Sincce after all, according to you you didn’t do anything wrong correct?”

“Um, no…” Sunset said nervously.



“Good, then let’s get going,” Cheerilee said, before she left the room and Sunset Shimmer followed her nervously.



Everyone in the classroom watched them leave in silence and continued looking at each other for a few more seconds in shock. However, the silence abruptly ended when Bulk Biceps shouted “YEEEEEEEEEEEAH WE WON!” and the whole class busted out into cheers, save Snips, who quickly stood up, put his hand on the Cheering Snails’ shoulder, and pulled him back into his seat with a disapproving expression.



“Now THAT, was radical,” Soarin said. “I’ve wanted to stand up against her for so long it’s not even funny.



Vinyl voiced assent by nodding and giving two thumbs up.



“Yes indeedle E doo,” Frink said, “I haven’t had this much satisfaction since I invented a machine that repairs worn out aglets on shoelaces.”



“I agree,” Fluttershy said, “well, except for the aglets part. But let’s not forget who started this, whole thing,” she said turning towards Pocket Pair and pointing at him. “He’s the one we really should be cheering for. While I can’t speak for the rest of you I can guarantee I never would have had the courage to stand up to Sunset if he hadn’t done so first.

“Oh my gosh, how could I forget about him?” Soarin said, “I mean sure, I’m totally radical and all that, but I’m not gonna lie, even with how rad I am I doubt I would have said anything if he hadn’t made me feel it was worthwhile to do so. Way to go man.” he said patting Pocket Pair on the back.



“YEEEEEEAH!,” Bulk Biceps said, before patting him on the back as well, and almost knocking him over in the process.



“I voice assent in my glavin, though I shall not be engaging in any of the physical contact like my fellow classmates here, muh hey” Frink said.

Vinyl held two thumbs up, and then began clapping, an action that was quickly followed by the rest of the standing students, and then the rest of the room, save of course Sunset’s two lackies.



Pocket Pair, astonished the level of support he was receiving, stood there silently as the clapping went on and on. Eventually, as it began to die down Pocket Pair said, “Uh.. thanks guys. But come on, it’s no big deal really…”



“Oh come on, don’t so modest.” Soarin’ said.



“I concur,”  Frink said. “You single handedly lead a revolution against the girl who has terrorized our school with an iron fist for the past three years.. Why I’d say you are nothing short of a hero, and were I qualified to do so I would dub thee sir… uh what was your name again?”



“Pocket Pair,” Pocket Pair said still in awe.



“Hmm, interesting name,” Frink said, “I’ve never heard that one before. But then again,, my maternal unit named me Frink, so I have no room to pass judgement on your legal form of identification. So anyways, were I qualified to do so, I would dub thee sir Pocket Pair for your act of bravery and valor in sleighing the hostile dragon of Canterlot High.”



“YEEAHHHHHHHH” Bulk Biceps said.

“They’re right, what you did was brave, kind, and selfless,” Fluttershy said, “You should be very proud of yourself for what you just did. I wish I had the courage to do something like that a long time ago.”



“Well,alright then,” Pocket Pair said, “When you put it that way I guess it is a fairly big deal. But it still wasn’t anything special, it was just me doing the right thing.  And on that note, where is Derpy anyways? We need to check up on her to make sure she’s doing ok after all the hell Sunset gave her.”



“Oh my goodness, you’re right, how could we have forgotten about her. “ Fluttershy said, “LEt’s go check on her right now!” The rest of them then voiced assent and then they all walked over to Derpy.



Upon reaching her, Pocket Pair said “Hey, you, you’ve had quite the rough morning, how are you holding up?”



“...Ok, I… I guess.” Derpy said rubbing her eyes.



“That’s good,” Pocket Pair said, “And things are about to get better, because as long as we’re around, Sunset isn’t going to b pulling anymore stunts like that at your or anyone else’s expense, isn’t that right guys?””



“YEEEEEAH.” Bulk biceps said.



“Yes indeedle-eedle-e-dee-doo” Frink said.



“Right on man.” Soarin said.



Vinyl nodded her head and gave a thumbs up.



“Yes,” Fluttershy said, “I just hate seeing people suffer, so if you ever have any more trouble, you make sure to let us know about it right away. Alright?

”

“O-ok,” Derpy said standing upright. “Thanks guys.”



“You’re welcome,” Pocket Pair said, just as Cheerilee came back into the room with Sunset in tow.



“I still can’t believe you just let Luna put me on probation like that Cherilee,” Sunset said, “After how good I’ve been all these years…”



“I’m sorry Sunset,” Cheerilee said, “but intern Principal Celestia is my boss,  and when she makes a decision, I have to respect it”



Sunset responded by grumbling and heading towards her seat before sitting down, folding her arms, and placing her head down on them.



Cheerilee, seeing Sunset wasn’t going to do anything more, turned to Derpy and said, “Are you ok there miss? I’m sorry for Sunset’s behavior towards you, I hope she didn’t make your first day at Canterlot High too rough.”

“Yeah, she was pretty mean,” Derpy said, before turning and pointing at the students near her, “ but thanks to their help, I think I’ll be alright.”



“I’m glad to hear that,” Cheerilee said, “Thank you all for standing up for her and helping her feel better right now. What you did for her was a very good thing. And I trust we won’t have ANY more trouble, RIGHT Sunset?” Cheerilee concluded glaring at her.



“Yes Miss Cheerilee,” Sunset said, before turning around and making the slitting throat motion with her finger.

Good,” Cheerilee said sternly,  before she looked at the clock and said “Now with that said, if you all wouldn’t mind sitting down, I need to start teaching, class was supposed to start ten minutes ago and less time teaching means a higher likelihood of homework down the line.” In response, everyone quickly headed to their seats and sat down, and one that was done, Cheerilee turned around and started writing on the board to start the day’s lesson.



Meanwhile, in the back of the room, a student who had purple and white striped hair, pink skin, and wore a tiara  turned to her next door neighbor with a malicious smirk and said “Did you get all of that Silver Spoon?”

“I most certainly did Diamond Tiara,” her glasses wearing neighbor with gray skin and chrome hair said. “It’s all right here, on my smart phone, clear as day.”



“Excellent!,” Diamond Tiara said evilly,” Meet me in the computer lab after class and bring your phone and a USB transfer cable. When I’m through with what I have planned, Sunset Shimmer won’t be so high and mighty anymore...”
> The bet
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday August 17, 12:00 PM

“Aw yeah,” Pocket Pair said as he left his last class before lunch. “Boy what a great first day of school  I’m having. I mean sure, I may have gotten grounded by my mother for calling her a bitch, AND lost a bunch of money with four of a kind to a runner runner royal flush suckout, And had to deal with that creepy janitor Discord as well…. Well ok, he actually wasn’t so bad. But regardless, as horrible as my day may have been when it began,  that first class changed EVERYTHING. Because there is NOTHING that makes me feel better than standing up to a bitch who's bullying someone. And you know what was even better? For once in my lonely life of being the outcast, people actually had my back on something, and I actually felt like I not only belonged, but was looked up to. If that is any indication of how this year is going to be, I’d say I have absolutely nothing to worry about.” He said as he pushed open the doors to the cafeteria.

“So,” Pocket Pair said looking around, “Now to work on my master plan, and make myself one step closer to getting the girlfriend I want so bad. All I have to do is run my plan by Applejack and Ralph and make sure it doesn’t have any major flaws in it, and I should be good to go. I mean not that I’m legitimately worried about it having flaws or anything, since I did spend a few hours working on it using the best available information, but still, with such high stakes it’s better to be safe than sorry, unless  of course you've  got the nuts, in which case get it all in.” He then looked around and said , “Now just where are those two at anyways… They are in this lunch period aren’t they?” he said as he continued to look around for them. However, his search ended soon after when he spotted Ralph sitting alone in the corner. Ralph quickly saw him as well and proceeded to wave him over to sit down with him, and Pocket Pair, after acknowledging him with a wave back, headed towards the table.

“Hey mate,” Ralph said as he sat down.

“Hey Ralphie boy,” Pocket Pair replied. “Glad to see you picked the best table in the lunchroom. I’m sure looking forward to a year of watching the paint on the walls and the support beam nearby.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault. This was the only table left.” Ralph said. “You know how it is in high school mate, all the popular kids get the good seats, while we’re stuck sitting in the corner watching the paint dry. But hey, if it’s any consolation, it’s not like this is any less interesting than listening to those boring lectures in our classes all the time.”

“True true,” Pocket Pair said, “Though you’re certainly quite wrong about all my classes being boring this year...”

“Huh?” Ralph said. “Wait just a minute! Did I just hear you right? Are you actually praising a class? What happened? Did the teacher start giving out free bags of peanut chex mix or something for the first day?” he joked.

“Um, no.” Pocket Pair said, “Thought I will say it would have been awesome if they did do that.”

“Well then what DID happen then?” Ralph asked. “I mean come on, it may have been no peanut chex mix but it must have been something pretty special to make you legitimately like the class when I know full well you hate school.”

“Oh it was special Ralph,” Pocket Pair said, “very special indeed.”

“Yes, I'll bet it was,” Ralph said, “Mind letting me in on what happened?"

“Oh, I’ll tell you Ralph… when Applejack comes that is.” Pocket Pair said.

“Boo you troll,” Ralph said annoyed. “You can’t do that to me. Telling me two things today that pique my interest and then making me wait until Applejack comes to hear either of them. That's just mean. Come on, be civil and leak at least one of the things to me..."

“No, sorry, but I can’t do that.” Pocket Pair said, “I need both of you to hear it together so you can react to them properly. If I go ahead and tell you now, you’re liable to bring it up to Applejack yourself before I get a chance to tell her, and I don’t want to miss having that gratification.” 

“GRRR,” Ralph growled, “ok fine then you wanker. I’ll wait until Applejack comes to hear what you’ve got to say. But I swear I am NOT waiting a single moment longer. You got that?”

“Fair enough.” Pocket Pair said. He then looked around and said “On the subject of Applejack, just where is she anyways? Are we sure she’s in the same lunch period as us?” 

“Hhmph,” Ralph scoffed, “Yeah, she is. She probably just got held up stocking vending machines with fizzy apple cider or something.”

“Hm, nice one Ralph,” Pocket Pair said, “but seriously, where is she? I don’t want to wait any longer to spill these beans than I have to. I never was very good with slowplaying a strong hand for an extended time period, and the same thing applies to me when it comes to big secrets.”

“I just told you,” Ralph said, “She’s probably stocking the vending machines with fizzy apple cider.”

“Ok, Ralph,,” Pocket Pair said, “that joke may have been humorous the first time, but now it’s kind of getting on my nerves. I mean seriously, aren’t you at least the slightest bit concerned at her absence this late in the lunch period?”

“No,” Ralph retorted, “because I’m pretty sure she is just stocking vending machines right now.”

“Ok Ralph, stop joking.” Pocket Pair said, “this is a potentially serious problem and your inability to treat it as such is getting on my nerves.”

“Your face is serious,” Ralph said, before saying “I’m not joking dimwit, so stop saying that.”

“Um, Yes you are,” Pocket Pairs said, “And I can tell very clearly because your story makes absolutely no sense. And as they say in poker, if your story doesn’t make sense, you’re probably bluffing.”

Ralph, after thinking a little, then smirked and said “oh is that so? Well guess what poker boy,  if you’re so sure I’m 'bluffing', then you probably wouldn’t mind taking me up on a bet as to where Applejack is now, would you?”

“You know what, sure,” Pocket Pair said. “How much do you wager?”

“How about two dollars” Ralph said. “Not that I wouldn’t be comfortable betting more if I wanted to. It’s just I don’t want to ruin your perfect first day by betting you so much I completely bankrupt you when I win the bet.”

“Ok then, you’re on.” Pocket Pair said. “Two dollars it is.” he said before they shook on it. “Just don’t be TOO sad when I win that money from you Ralphie boy.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Ralph said shaking with him on it. “I know full well I won’t be. After all, I'm the one who's going to win.” 

“Heh, just telling yourself that,” Pocket Pair said. “just tlling yourself that.” Both of them then got up and went to the lunch line to get their food. After a minute or two of standing in line and being lost in thought, they finally got their food. While Ralph’s order was of a modest size, Pocket Pair’s was huge, and it took him two trays and two trips to carry it all back to his table. As soon as he finally brought the second tray to his table and sat down, Applejack finally entered the lunchroom, and looked around in a huff.

“Gosh dang Caramel, forgetting the cider crates in the truck again,” Applejack grumbled “Now ah’m REALLY late to lunch, so late ah’ll be plum  LUCKY if there’s any food left up there by the time ah get in line.” She then took a deep breath and said, “oh well, as uncomfortable as it is fer me, ah'l make it through it. Ah'v made it through much longer days at Sweet Apple Acres on an empty stomach, this should be no problem for me to go without some food here. And regardless of whether or not ah go hungry," she said continuing, "at least this time ah won't go alone, cause mah two best friends have the same lunch as me this year.  Ah sure as sugar can’t wait to actually be able to eat with someone ah know for once.” She then looked around and said “Now speakin of them two, where are they at anyways?”

Her search did not last long, as Ralph quickly spotted her and whistled to catch her attention. “Hey cowgirl, “ he said, “there you are. Glad ya’ll could finally come to the rodeo with us. You mind coming over here and enjoying lunch and a show?"  he said as he flexed his muscles.

Applejack, rolling her eyes at his actions, quickly walked over to them and soon reached their table. “Here ah am,” she said as she took a seat, making sure to push her belongings below the table out of sight, “sorry ah came late. To quote Caddyshack, ah was unavoidably detained.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Ralph said smugly, “I most certainly did not come late… not when I knew I’d be seeing you today.” 

“ugh,” Applejack said as she sat down. “ah swear, if ya’ll weren’t mah friend, ah’d bap ya over the head with mah hat for that comment.”

“Well, lucky me then,” Ralph said, I guess I get to make as many dirty jokes as I want at your expense now don’t I?”

“Heh” Applejack chuckled, “Don’t ya’ll push your luck.” she then turned towards Pocket Pair and said “howdy P Pair. How’s it going with you?”

“Well…” Pocket Pair started, but was cut off as Applejack’s stomach grumbled.

“Actually, hold that thought P Pair,” Applejack said getting up. “ah’m hungrier than a worm after an apple harvest and ah need to get some food before their aint none left ta get.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that Applejack” Pocket Pair said reaching towards the second tray he had grabbed and presenting it to Applejack along with the slice of pie,  apple,  and bottle bottle of applejuice it contained. “I figured nothing would be left by the time you got here so I bought these when I was in the lunch line. Didn’t want you to hungry after all.”

“Oh, is that so?” she said, “Well thanks a heapin P Pair. Why, ya even got all mah favorites too? How’d ya know ah liked all these things so much anyway?”

“Well,” Pocket Pair said looking at her apple belt buckle,” let’s just say, a good poker-player knows how to read people's tastes.” 

“heh,” she chuckled, “ah kinda thought ya’ll would say something like that. But in any case thank ya very kindly,” she said before taking the tray from him. “I’m really glad to have such a good friend like you ah can count on when ah'm in need.”

“Yeah… sure,” Pocket Pair said... before muttering, “I wish I could say the feeling was mutual.”

“Huh, what was that?” Applejack said to him.  

“um.. nothing important,” Pocket Pair said, before quickly saying, “hey, if I was you, I’d start with the pie. There’s a special surprise in it.”

“A special surprise?” Applejack asked.

“Yeah.” ralph said. “And guess what AJ. I have a special surprise too. I’ll give you a hint, It’s a foot long and it’s in my pants right now. You want to see it after school Applejack?” Ralph said nudging her.

“Ugh” Applejack groaned rolling her eyes, No ah don’t. And friend or not, if ya’ll say another crude comment like that to me today ya’ll will be eating mah hat. Now can ya do me a favor and stop making those disgusting jokes? Ya’ll are gonna make me lose mah appetite.” She then turned back towards Pocket Pair and said, “Now just what is this special surprise ya got planned? Aint nothing gonna pop up out of the pie and scare me is it?”

“No, nothing its going to scare  you, I don't even know how I would do something like that,” Pocket Pair said

"Well what is it then P Pair, ah gotta know?" Applejack said.

"Eat the pie and you'll find out," Pocket Pair said. 

“Hm, alright” Applejack said.  “There just better not be anythin wrong with this Apple pie. Ah know how much of a prankster ya'll can be at times," she said before she cut a piece off of her slice pie and put it in her mouth. Her eyes then quickly widened and said “wait a minute, this aint apple pie, its…”

“Surprise, it's starfruit,” Pocket Pair said finishing her sentence, “Your favorite if I remember correctly. It’s a good thing I got it when I did too, it was the last slice. If I'd have got there any later and they would have only had snozberry pie for me to take.”

“Bleech,” applejack said sticking out her tongue. “Now that definitely woulda ruined mah appetite. Ah swear, whoever came up with the idea to put snozberries into a pie needs to be locked up, those things are disgustin, just like green tea ice cream. But in any case, thank ya’ll so much for the pie  P Pair. Ya didn't have to do that for me..."  

“Oh it’s nothing,” Pocket Pair said, “just something friends do for one another.” Before muttering “of course it’s not like YOU would know about that…”

Applejack, sensing his negativity, quickly said, “well in any case, ah was so preoccupied earlier ah totally forgot to ask ya, How was your day so far P Pair? Anything interesting happen to ya, like ya winning a bunch of money on that poker game ya always play?”

“Oh, my day was pretty damn good if I do say so myself,” Pocket Pair said.

“Pretty damn good?” Applejack said shocked, “Ah aint heard that one very often. What happened? Did ya get it all in and win your biggest pot yet?”

“No,” Pocket Pair said, “In fact truth be told this morning I flopped quad kings and lost to a runner runner royal flush.”

“Ouch, that's harsh,” Applejack said, “that deck musta been colder than the Antarctic if ya’ll lost with quads like that.”

“yeah, tell me about it” Pocket Pair said, “That cost me 15 million in play money too, so I was definitely pretty pissed about it. But as mad as I was about it, what happened in first period quickly changed my mood for the better…”

“Really?” Applejack said, “ Well now ah’m intrigued. Ya’ll mind tellin me what happened during first period? It musta been somethin pretty special if your day was pretty damn good despite you suffering a monster cold deck like that.” 

“Well, Pocket Pair said, but he was cut off by Ralph before he could say anything else. 

“Actually, hold that thought,” Ralph said, “Right now I need to ask you something Applejack.”

“um, Ralph, can’t it wait?” Applejack said.

“Yeah,” Pocket Pair said, “And besides, just five minutes ago you said you couldn't wait to hear what happened in first period? Now you’re telling me you want to wait to hear it?”

“No, of course I don’t want to wait,” Ralph said. “However, I have to because I just thought of something I need to address and I know that if I let you start your story I’m probably just going to forget it by the time it's done. So if it's possible I really would like to take care of that first."

“Well, “Applejack said looking over at Pocket Pair, and upon seeing Pocket Pair motion for her to continue she said “ok sure, what is it ya need from me?”

“Ok,” Ralph said, before taking in a deep breath and saying “Applejack, just why were you so late to lunch today?”

“What?” Applejack said suspiciously, “that’s what all this is about? Didn’t ah tell you just this morning ah was gonna be late on account of Sweet Apple Acres just partnered with Canterlot High and part of that agreement involved me putting fizzy apple cider in the vendin machines to sell to the students?”

“YEs you did, I just wanted to make sure HE heard it."Ralph said as he pointed to Pocket Pair, before he turned to him.“So Pocket Pair," he said, "I think you have somethign that belongs to me."

“Ugh,” Pocket Pair said reaching into his wallet and taking out $2, “You fucking jerk! It’s real weak to make a bet on why someone is late to lunch if you know the reason because they told you just that morning!”

“Ooh Suck it up” Ralph told him as he took the $2, “This is your own fault. If you would have listened to me in the first place for once, none of this would have happened to you.”

“Seriously,” Applejack said rolling her eyes, “a bet? THAT’s what this was all about? A bet for $2? Like what the actual fuck Ralph! Ya'll really have nothing better to do than ream your friend for $2 like that?”

“Yes, of course I do” Ralph said, “namely fantasizing about you all day,” and he quickly ducked as Applejack took off her hat and tried to whack him with it.

“Stupid cotten pickin...,” she said as she put her hat back on. "Ah swear, sometimes ya'll can be such an asshole." She then turned toward Pocket Pair and said,” Well anyways, now that Mr. greedy over there has gotten what he wants, would it be alright if ya’ll told us your story P Pair?”

“Ok, “ Pocket Pair said, “here goes. This morning, in my first class, we had a new transfer student with a disability who the teacher informed us would be joining us in the class this year. Excited to be with the normal kids as she called them , she offered everyone in the class a muffin from a tray of muffins she had baked herself while the teacher left the room.  Nothing went wrong at first, but that changed when she came to Sunset Shimmer and tried to offer her a muffin. Sunset, who didn’t see her, bumped the tray with her arm, and as a result a muffin flew off of it and ended up in her cleavage. As you may have guessed, she was seriously offended, and responded by talking down to and trying to humiliate Derpy in front of everyone. However,  since I was in the room, I wasn’t about to let her get away with doing that, so I gathered all my courage and confronted her head on on how she was treating Derpy.”

“WAIT… WHAT?!” Applejack said in shock.

“Yeah, I know right,” Pocket Pair said, “It is pretty hard to believe, and if you thought that was strange, what happened next was even stranger. Several students followed my lead when I defended Derpy and jumped in to confront Sunset.  And as a result, when the teacher reentered the room and we explained what happened to her, she actually believed us and sent Sunset to the principal’s office where she received a week of after school detention. Isn’t that fabulous?”

“No it aint.” Applejack said paranoid. “Aint no one who’s EVER stood up to Shimmer and gotten away with it. Why when she sees you next…”

However, she was interrupted as Sunset  Shimmer entered the lunchroom at that very moment.“UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE.” She shouted,  “DETENTION AFTER SCHOOL FOR A WHOLE WEEK? WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT MISS CHEERILEE I’LL…”

“AH PISS!” Applejack shouted, before she quickly got up and put herself between Pocket Pair and Sunset Shimmer’s line of sight.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Pocket Pair said annoyed, “I want to see the hissy fit she’s having...”. 

“Saving your ass, that’s what,” Applejack said, all the while  keeping herself between Pocket Pair and Sunset. Sunset, unaware of them, continued walking and soon approached a table and sat down, making sure to give it a hard kick as she did so. “Phew, that was a close one.” Applejack said. “before turning to Pocket Pair and saying “P Pair, ah know ya meant well, but why oh why oh WHY did ya'll have to go and stand up to Sunset of all people?”

“Well what else was I supposed to do?,” Pocket Pair said exasperated, “Just sit back and let her continue picking on Derpy?”

“No,” Applejack retorted, “but ya’ll didn’t have to go so far as to lead a crusade against her!”

“Wow,” Pocket Pair said, “thank you Applejack. Thanks for the support. I tell you something that I did and expect you to be proud of me, and instead you bite my head off and scold me for doing it. Nice to know I can count on you to back me up.”

“Sugacube, it aint like that," Applejack said,  "ah’m just sayin that…” 

“And don’t call me sugarcube” Pocket Pair said cutting her off. “that term implies you actually view me as a friend and care about me, , when your actions just now clearly prove that that is anything but the case with you.”

“P Pair, come on,” applejack said hurt, “ya'l know that aint true?”

“Oh yeah?”  Pocket Pair said, “Well how come you totally failed to back me up two seconds ago then?" 

“P Pair,"Applejack said. "Ah did back you up, ah just said your actions may have gotten ya into a heap of trouble so maybe ya should have thought before you took it so far."

"Hmmph," Pocket Pair said, "say all you want, you still didn't have my back there and that's inexcusable. And then you have the gall to still go and call yourself my friend. Fucking liar,"

"Dangit P Pair," Applejack said getting frustrated, "ah am your friend. You know that."


“Oh yeah," Pocket Pair said, "well then prove it. After all, anyone can say they're someone's friend." 

“Ok , ah will prove it.” Applejack said, “Tell me what it was ya wanted to tell us so badly at lunch today. "

"ANd how is that going to prove anything?" Pocket Pair said. 

"Because, " Applejack said, "If ah weren't your friend, ah wouldn't give  rat's ass what you wanted to tell me, much less bring it up on mah own. But ah did do that just now, so that proves ah'm legitimately interested just like a good friend."

"Maybe," Pocket Pair said, "but I still don't know... Oh alright, I'll tell you, supposing you actually even want to hear it."

“I do” ralph said

“And ah do too.” Applejack said. "So please, tell us." 

“Well....” Pocket Pair said, “Alright then, I'll tell you. My plan is to use what I’ve found out online to adapt an ideal form of behavior which will ensure I get a girlfriend before the conclusion of this school year. Now based on my online research…. ”

“Wait,” Ralph said interjecting him, “you know what, I take it back. I don’t want to hear this plan anymore.”

“RALPH!!” Applejack snapped at him harshly.

“WHAT?” Ralph said angrily, “Don’t act like you aren’t thinking the same thing AJ. I mean I want to listen to his plans and all but this again? I’m so tired of hearing it from him.”

“ah know, and truth be told maybe ah am a little tired of it too," Applejack said, "but he’s our friend Ralph, and regardless of what we thing about his plan, we promised him we’d listen to what he has to say. The least we can do is keep our promise politely and not throw a hissy fit just cause the subject matter aint to our likin'.”

“Fine, you do that,” ralph said standing up from the table. “In the meantime, I have a log I’ve been needing to drop, and I think now is the perfect time for me to head to the bathroom to deal with it.” He said before he got up and left the table. 

“Hm, looks like I was right after all when I said you guys weren’t good friends.” Pocket Pair said. 

Applejack, rolling her eyes at Ralph behid his back, turned towards Pocket Pair and said, “P Pair, don’t let his actions affect you. Truth be told he can act like a right faggot sometimes.”

“APPLEJACK” Pocket Pair said, “don’t use that word.” 

“Sorry” Applejack said, “Asshole then. Either way, the point is that when he acts like that it’s best to just ignore him and not take what he says to heart. Now, if ya’ll wouldn’t mind,” Applejack said turning to face him, “ah personally would love it if ya’ll would explain this here plan of yours to me.”

“Oh yeah right,” Pocket Pair said sarcastically, “sure you’d love it, and I was just elected pope of the church of scientology! Get real Applejack, you don’t want to hear my plan. I mean heck, you yourself said all this talk about girlfriends just annoys you.”

“yes.. you're right, ah did say that,” Applejack said, “And ah will admit that maybe sometimes ah do find your constant attention to the same few subjects just a tad bit bothersome. But honestly, who cares what ah think? That’s just who you are, and as long as what your doin aint hurtin no one what right have ah got to tell you to stop. And besides, regardless of what ah think on the issue ah made a promise that ah would listen to ya, and unlike Ralph, when ah make a promise you can bet ah'm gonna keep it. So please sugarcube, won’t ya’ll just tell me this plan of yours? Ah really do want to hear what ya got to say.”

“Grrr…” Pocket Pair grumbled,  “Ok fine. If you stop calling me sugarcube, I’ll tell you.” He then took in a deep breath and said “ok, so as I said before, my plan is to get a girlfriend before the conclusion of this year, and the way I intend to do this is to change the way I act around girls to fit what girls want most in guys. Now, based on some online research I did, I have discovered that the qualities that girls care about most, no offense Applejack, are that their mate listen to them and give them a shoulder to cry on and always support them no matter what. So, my master plan is to use these facts to my advantage and take on the personality of a Myron, then go up to girls and talk to them, making sure I always agree with everything they say regardless of whether or not I myself really agree with it. If I do it right, then every girl I talk to should want to be around me, and since that is the case, if I later decide to, oh I don’t know, ask them out, there is a high chance they will agree and I will consequently be able to get any girl I choose. So what do you think Applejack, good plan right?”

“Hmmm, naaaah.” Applejack said. 

“Nah? Nah? What the fuck is NAH!” Pocket Pair said

“What isn’t nah is the better question P Pair,” Applejack said “ah know you probably don’t want to hear this, but ah gotta say it. That whole plan of yours is simply not a good idea."

“Are you freaking serious?” Pocket Pair said, “How could this plan possibly be that bad? I looked up so much information to formulate it, how can any girl possibly not like being around me if I acted like that?”

“Ah never said it wouldn’t WORK P Pair ,” Applejack said, “ah really have no doubt in my mind that if ya’ll used a plan like that you could get someone to agree to go out with ya pretty quickly.”

“Oh, is that so?” Pocket Pair said. “well then why didn’t you say so? That’s all I wanted to hear.”

“But” Applejack continued, “Ah guarantee you if ya’ll do use this plan to woo someone, ya’ll aint gonna be anywhere near happy with em’.”

“Yes I will,” Pocket Pair said, “I’ll be with someone won’t I? That’s bound to make me happy.”

“No it won’t,” Applejack said, “ah know you, and ah know full well there aint no way in hell ya’ll are gonna be happy with ANYONE if ya don’t got nothing in common with em and ya’ll are suppressing your personality by constantly agreein with em just to stay on their good side."

“Maybe so,” Pocket Pair said, “but I’m still going to use the plan anyways because you said yourself it would probably work. I mean after all Applejack, I’m not getting any younger you know, and only complete losers still have their virginity at the end of high school.  I think it’s high time I stop being a nobody and join the man's club before it's too late.”

Applejack, shaking her head, said. “Ah'm  truly disappointed in you P Pair. Ralph ah woulda epected to say something like that, but not you! Is that really all ya care about? Hooking up with someone just so ya can have a good fuck?”

“No, of course that's not all I care about,” Pocket Pair said, “Now don’t get me wrong, I REALLY do want to get laid by something other than my right hand before this year ends. However, of course that's not all I want. In truth I want someone I could relate to, be my best friend, support me, care for me, … love me…. But asking for that is like asking to hit a royal flush three hands in a row, it isn't going to happen. And since that's the case, I can't let the lack of that prevent me from being with someone.”

“And who says that can’t happen to you P Pair,” Applejack said, “Ah think it could. Ya’ll are  nice, funny as hell, reliable, caring...”

“I’m also dirt poor, unpopular, and just between you and me, my ding dong is not the biggest.” Pocket Pair said interjecting her. “ I mean not that it’s SUPER small or anything, but still, no girl is ever going to truly want me because all girls care about in a long term relationship is having someone they can rely on to support themor who is well known or well endowed.”

"Oh yeah. Applejack said. "and just where did ya'll hear THAT? Greatest myths of the 21st century?"

"No," Pocket Pair said. "I'm just speaking from the experience of people i've known before."

"Well experience of otherwise," applejack said, "that still don't change the fact that what you said aint true, at least not of all girls. Ah mean sure, ah'd be lying if ah said none of em were hung up on that materialistic bullshit, but certainly cannot be said for the vast majority of em'.”

“And how would YOU know huh?” Pocket Pair said, “do you have a PHD in anthropology or something?”

“No ah don’t, “ Applejack said, “but ah don’t need one to know what ah’m talkin about, because in case ya’ll hadn’t noticed,” Applejack said pointing to her chest, “AH’M a girl. And ahcan assure ya that mah ideal mate is not some rich fancy well endowed guy wh just blindly agrees with everythin ah say without question.”

“Oh come on Applejack” Pocket Pair said, “You’re just saying that to disagree with me again.”

“No a aint,” Applejack said, “What ah’m tellin you is the 100% honest truth. Ah really don’t care all that much how much mah mate makes, how much they have, what job they have, and certainly not how well-endowed they are. Mah ideal mate is someone ah can connect with, someone ah can rely on in mah time of need, who will be there for me through thick and thin, and love and accept for me for who ah am. If ah don’t have those things in a relationship, well then if ya ask me it really aint worth bein in in the first pace. And that’s why ya can’t go through with this plan of yours P Pair, becausethe only girls ya'll are gonna get using this plan are ones who will not end up makin ya happy."

“Oh whatever,” Pocket Pair said defeated, “Shoot this down too why don't you? Honestly, you think I’d learn to stop hoping you'll back me up on something...“

“P Pair, ah am backin you up.”  Applejack said, “Ah’m giving you solid advice about what ah think ya should do like ya wanted me to in the first place. Aint that why ya told me yer plan in the first place?”

“Yeah,  it was,” Pocket Pair said, “ But you were supposed to agree with me on it. But instead, you chose to shoot me down on something I was passionate about for the second time today. I guess it really s true what they say, you can’t count on anyone but yourself at the end of the day.” 

“P Pair, “ Applejack said, “Listen to yourself for a second. This is your friend you’re talking to, do ya’ll really think ah’m out to get you here?”

“Yes,” Pocket Pair said, “because despite what you said you’re not actually my friend. At best you’re just my acquaintance, and based on the way you acted I’d today say you’re a pretty shoddy one at best.”

“Oh mah god!,” Applejack said frustrated, “Ya’ll are doing this AGAIN. Ah’v told you countless times before, ah am your friend, so can ya’ll please just stop sayin ah aint every time ah disagree with ya on something?!”

“And why should I,” Pocket Pair said, “I’m only telling you the truth Applejack. Isn't that what you want to hear miss honesty?”

“Yes, but what you're saying ain the truth.” Applejack said. “Ah am your friend, not your acquaintance, not your enemy, not you rival. And it really hurts mah feelins when you keep comin up to me and sayin ah am those things.”

“Oh boo hoo, poor little me.” Pocket Pair said, “Did you ever think about ho I feel when you act that way? Huh, did you? Of course not, and that statement right there clearly proves my point.  As much as you say otherwise you really don't give two shits about my feelings, and since that is a basic requirement of someone who is a true friend that just proves to me that you are not my friend. So do me a favor and stop lying to me and saying that you are."

“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” Applejack shouted, “You stubborn little cotton pickin’.  Why the heck can’t ya’ll just stop saying this stuff about me? Don’t ya’ll know just how much it hurts me for one of mah best friends to constantly tell me those things to mah face? Ah mean really, why do ya’ll say that shit anyways? Do you actually believe it or something? Ah gotta know.”

Ralph, who was returning to the tabe at that very moment, said "Oh I think you know full well why he says that stuff Applejack."

"No ah don't," Applejack said, "that's why ah'm askin him."

"Isn't it obvious," Ralph said, "because his motivation is fairly clear to me. He just says that stuff so he can get attention from us. I mean think about it AJ, every single time he says that to one of us we always rush to his aid and try to tell him otherwise. And since he knows that's what we always do when he says those things to us, of course he just keeps on saying them. I mean after all, it always gives him more than enough of the attention he so desperately wants." 

“Ah… ah guess that could be the reason why he does that” Applejack said. “But it still don’t make full sense to me. Why would he go to such lengths just to get attention from us when we give him plenty as is on a daily basis?”

“I don’t know,” Ralph said, "Attention whore maybe? But whatever the reason behind it, I will guarantee you this much AJ, until you start ignoring him, he’s just going to keep on saying that to you and your feelings are just going to keep on getting hurt.”

“But how can ah ignore it?” Applejack said. “It really REALLY hurts mah feelings when he says that to me. And what if he aint saying that stuff just to get attention like ya’ll are so sure he is? What if he actually believes what he’s saying? If that’s the case then ignoring it might just be the worst possible thing ah could do.”

“Maybe,” Ralph said, “but I highly doubt that is the case. Only a crazy person would actually be so out of it they didn’t see what was clearly right in front of their face, and Pocket Pair may be many things, but crazy is not one of them. So please just take my advice and stop responding when he says that stuff to you from now on AJ.” He then turned to Pocket Pair and said. “And as for you mate, I can’t speak for Applejack but I personally am sick and tired of hearing these hurtful attention ploys come out of your mouth. It’s rude, insulting, and both Applejack and myself are sick and tired of hearing it. So do us a favor and stop it right away!”

“Ok sure,” Pocket Pair said, “except there’s one problem with that desire, and that’s that I DON’T say those things just to get attention from you and Applejack.” 

“Oh, so you’re saying you actually believe that garbage then?” Ralph said. “BULLSHIT! I know damn well you aren’t so out of it you don’t see what was clearly in front of your face. So don’t you dare try and play me for a fool by making such ridiculous and obviously false claims in front of my face. Now here's how things are going to work around her from now on, either you shut the fuck up about these attention ploys, or just SHUT THE FUCK UP PERIOD! GOT IT?"

“I told you,” Pocket Pair said angrily, “They’re NOT attention ploys. If you would just listen to me for once….”

“Why should I,” Ralph snapped back, “I used to listen to you but there’s only so many times I can hear you CONSTANTLY say the same bullshit over and over before I get tired of hearing it. If mean really, you don't talke about a wide variety of topics when it comes down to it. If it’s not about poker, it’s about us not liking you, and if it’s not about that it’s trying to get our attention with some convoluted girlfriend scheme."

“Well maybe I keep talking about the same stuff because you constantly ignore me," Pocket Pair said. "And since what I have to say needs to be heard that mean I have to keep on repeating myself until it grinds its way through your thick skulls. And by the way, my girlfriend ‘scheme’ as you call it is not a ploy to get attention you bozo , so don't you dare call it that again.”

“Oh yeah?” Ralph said, “well if it's not an attention ploy then how come you’ve never asked ANYONE out yet? If you were truly serious about these plans I highly doubt you would have never taken the time to actually ACT on one of them by now."

“GODDAMNIT!” Pocket Pair said ,” I told you! The reason why I haven't asked anyone out is because talking to people I don't know is hard for me. Especially when it's a girl.” 

“Oh yeah, it's so difficult for you” Ralph said sarcastically, “And that’s why you talked to Applejack just fine when you met her then isn’t it?”

“That was different,” Pocket Pair said, “Applejack was being bullied, and I stepped in to stop the aggressors. That's an entirely different scenario than approaching a girl because I am considering asking her out.”

“Oh come off it you liar!” Ralph snapped,” You can make up whatever excuses you want, it still doesn’t change the fact that you only say that bullshit to get attention. In fact, I'll be you really don't even care either way whether or not you get a girlfriend. And truth be told, that’s probably the best thing for you, because no self-respecting girl is going to want a sorry ass attention seeker like you!”

“Ralph, THAT’S ENOUGH!” Applejack said.

“What AJ?” Ralph said, “I’m just telling him the honest truth! Surely you know how important that is, Honest Applejack.”

“Yes ah do think honesty is important,” Applejack said, “But there’s a distinct difference between bein honest and bein plain mean. Ah don’t care how mad at him you are, there is no reason to go and say no girl would ever want him.”

“I’m not being mean, I’m just stating facts” Ralph said, “I mean, come on AJ, would you want to be with someone who constantly connives to get their attention?”

“Probably not," Applejack said, "but that's just it Ralph! Ah don't think  he is saying he wants a girlfriend to get attention, ah think he really means it!"

“Oh yeah,” Ralph retorted, “well maybe if he actually asked out someone for once I might be able to consider that as a possibility. But I'm so confident he's doing this for attention I'd wager $100 that he will never ask out ANYONE using this or any other plan this entire year. And it really is best he doesn't ask anyone, because there is absolutely o chance they'd say yes to him as he is now!”

“RALPH, SHUT UP” Applejack snapped, “ Ya’ll are just bein a downright…”

“You’re on!” Pocket Pair said cutting her off.

“What?” ralph said.

“You’re on asshole!” Pocket Pair repeated. 

“I’m on?” Ralph asked, “On for what exactly?”

“For the bet you just made dipshit,” Pocket Pair said. “You said you were so confident that I was just saying that stuff for attention that you’d be willing to wager $100, and being a gambling man I accept your bet.” 

“Woah woah woah WHAT?” Applejack said.

“Yeah, just hold on there Pocket Pair“ Ralph said, “Just because I said that doesn’t mean I actually want to bet you on it.  Plus, if it’s all the same with you, I’d rather NOT fleece you for $100 just to prove a point to you. Not that I wouldn’t mind the $100, or that you don’t need to learn this point, it’s just…”

“It’s just you’re full of it and know you'd lose!,” Pocket Pair said finishing his sentence. 

“What? I most certainly am NOT full of it,” Ralph said. 

“Oh yes you are,” Pocket Pair said. “I mean after all, you were SO passionate about what you were saying when no one called you out on it, but the minute the heat was put onto you you backed down like a little pussy punk bitch! It's just like an aggressive poker player, repping a big hand when they have position, but backing down the minute you throw out the re-raise against threm. Pretty obvious to see, they aint got nothing to stand on."

“Ok, first of all, I don't care how much you relate it to poker, that assessment of my actions is completely incorrect,” Ralph said. “And second of all, don’t you EVER dare start calling me names like pussy punk bitch!”

“And why shouldn’t I call you that,” Pocket Pair said, I think it fairly accurately describes who you are. I mean after all, when I asked you to wear the crosseye feet pony badge form the show My Little Pony Friendship is Magic to commemorate disability awareness day last year you claimed it would run your social standing so you refused. Then there was the time you wouldn’t join Pokerstars with me when I suggested it because you said you’d lose too much money. And keeping on this point, you yourself have never asked out a single girl even though I know full well you want a girl just as much if not more than I do. Face it Ralph, you're just a big hotshot who talks a big game to hide how scared he really is."

“That doesn’t prove ANYTHING,” Ralph said, “I didn’t not wear that badge because I was scared, I didn't wear it because My Little Pony is for fucking FEMALE CHILDREN, not male teenagers like me! And as for your second point,  I didn’t join Pokerstars because I don’t trust online poker sites, they always let the donks suck out even when they don't deserve to. And finally, the reason why I’ve never asked out anyone is because I have my own sexy lady right here so I don’t need to ask anyone else!" he said pointing to Applejack.

“Excuse me!!” Applejack said annoyed. 

“Say all the excuses you want ralph,” Pocket Pair said ignoring her, “in the end, the only one you’re fooling into thinking you’re anything but a pussy punk bitch is yourself.”

Ralph, angered severely at being called a pussy punk bitch again, said “ok, you know what motherfucker, I accept your bet.”

“wait, WHAT!” Applejack said. 

Pocket Pair, ignoring Applejack,  said, “There we go Ralphie boy.  Nice to see you man up for once. in your life I’m proud of you. So proud in fact, that I’m even going to give you the honor of choosing who I get to ask out to win this bet. Just make sure you pick someone good though.  I'd like to feel like I actually earned the $100 I'm going to win."

“Oh don’t worry ‘sugarcube,’ “ Ralph said sarcastically, “I will most certainly pick someone good for you,” he said before he looked around the lunchroom for inspiration, while Applejack stared on in shock. 

Meanwhile, at Sunset Shimmer’s table, Snails  looked over and caught sight of Rarity sitting at a table near him. “Oh” he said. “Look Snails, hottie at twelve O clock.” 

Snips, looking at her as well,  said, “Oh heck yeah. I know what we’re going to be doing today after lunch. Eh Sunset…” He said turning to face Sunset, and bumping over and spilling a drink all over her in the process. “Oops, sorry Sun…” he said, but was cut off when Sunset responded by jumping up, grabbing her table, and proceeding to flip it over, sending Snips and Snails scurrying for safety.  

As they stood there in fear, Sunset shouted loud enough for the entire lunchroom to hear “WATCH WHERE YOU PUT YOUR DRINKS NUMBNUTS! I MEAN HONESTLY, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THIS SKIRT COSTS? I’M GUESSING MORE THAN YOU PATHETIC WORMS HAVE EARNED IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE! I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU WEREN’T MY TOADIES….” , before she noticed the entire lunchroom looking at her and stopped talking. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PRICKS LOOKING AT!?” She shouted at them. “EVER HEARD OF MINDING YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS!” she said before she turned and proceeded to head towards the door of the lunchroom. 

Everyone who was looking at her responded by shaking their heads in disapproval at the outburst Sunset had just thrown. Everyone that is, except for a certain British guy named Ralph, who responded by gaining a devious smile and chuckling maliciously. 

“Are ya laughing?" Applejack asked, "Cause ah fail to see what was so funny about that.” 

“Oh yes I am laughing,” Ralph said as he chuckled again. “Because that little outburst  just gave me the PERFECT idea of who Pocket Pair needs to ask out if he is going to win this bet.”

“Wait, you don’t mean?” Pocket Pair said gulping, “Sunset Shimmer do you?”

“Oh I do indeed,” Ralph said.

“But… you can’t.. I can’t” Pocket Pair stammered.

“What’s the matter hotshot?” Ralph said to him, “You yourself said this plan would work on anyone didn’t you? Why should it matter if the anyone you use it on happens to be Sunset Shimmer?”

Pocket Pair responded by sitting there motionless, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Applejack on the other hand, quickly turned to Ralph and said “Ok Ralph, joke's over. Ya proved your point.” 

“And who’s joking?” Ralph said. “I’m being completely serious here, if he wants to win the bet, he has to ask out Sunset Shimmer.” 

“WHAT?!  NO!” Applejack said. “Ah know you’re mad at P Pair for what he said but this is pushing it way too far. Sunset will eat him alive if he tries to use his plan on her, especially considering what he did to her just this morning” 

“Hmm, that's not my problem now is it?” Ralph said. 

“No it aint, but that don't matter," Applejack said. "He's our friend Ralph, and ah refuse to let you put our friend in mortal danger like this to prove some stupid point.Call this bet off right now!"

"I think you're overreacting about the danger here Applejack" Ralph said. 

"No ah aint," Applejack said, "so call this bet off right now, or ah'l do it for ya!"

“Nice try Applejack,” Ralph said, “but you don’t have ANY authority to do something like that. A bet made between two people can only be called off by a mutual agreement to do so by both parties involved, and I most certainly am not going to be agreeing to anything like that after how he treated me today..”

“No ya’ll can’t do this! AH FORBID IT!” Applejack said, but Pocket Pair cut him off.

“Applejack” Pocket Pair said, “He’s right. You don’t have any authority to call the bet off.”

“What,” Applejack said. “Ya’ll are agreein with him? Do you have a death wish or something, or are ya’ll just plain stupid?”

“Believe it or not, neither is true of me.” Pocket Pair said. “However that’s not what’s important here. What’s important is that I made a bet with Ralph, and now I have to honor it. It’s how bets work Applejack.”

“See, I told you,” Ralph said. “so if I was you I’d stop trying to call this bet off because you’re just wasting your time.”

“That’s right Ralph,” Pocket Pair said, “and if I was you, I’d start counting that money right now, because with my master plan in play, I’ll win this bet before you can say I’m sorry I acted like such an inconsiderate asshole today. And when I do,  you’re finally going to have to stop ignoring me.”

“Hah, fat chance” Ralph said. “Sunset Shimmer is one of the meanest and most unapproachable girls period. I highly doubt you’ll even be able to get her to listen to a thing you say, let alone convince her to give you enough time to work your cockamamie scheme on her.”

“Oh yeah,” Pocket Pair said, “well we’ll just see about that now won’t we?” he said getting his tray and standing up from the table. “now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to leave lunch early so I can spend the time before next class thinking of how I’m going to spend that money when I win it. So cheerio British fucker!” Pocket Pair said before he walked away from the table.

“P Pair, wait, don’t…” Applejack said, but realized the futility of it as he continued to walk away. She then gained a scowl and turned towards Ralph. “Are ya’ll crazy!?” Applejack said to him.

“No, I don’t think so?” Ralph said, “Why would you think I am AJ dear?”

“Ok, first off, don’t ya DARE call me that ya fuckin smartass,” Applejack said. “Second of all, ah think  ya'll know full well why ah'm accusin you of bein crazy! Ya'll just sent one of our best friends into the lion’s den without so much as a chair to defend himself. Who in their right mind would ever do that?”

“Oh, I know I did that," Ralph said smugly, "but don't you worry. everything is going to turn out just perfect." 

“DON'T YOU WORRY!?” applejack snapped. “How on Earth an ya eve say somethin like that?. Sunset is gonna eat him alive!" 

“No, she won't”  Ralph said, smugly, “because Pocket Pair is not going to talk to Sunset."

"Are ya’ll a complete idjit?,” Applejack said, “Of course he’s going to talk to Sunset, you just bet him $100 to do just that!”

“Yes, I may have bet him $100,” Ralph said. “However, even with all that motivation in front of him, Pocket Pair still isn’t going to even so much look at her, let alone talk to her.  And you know how I know this? Because as I said before he made up that scheme and accepted that bet just to get attention. Oh Sure, he may talk a big game and be very convincing at the time he says he's going to do something. But in the end, he never ever follows through, and  if his history is any indication I give him an hour before he realizes what he’s gotten himself into and comes crawling back to me begging to be let off the hook from this bet.”

“And what if he don’t do that huh?!” Applejack said. “What if he wasn’t doing that for attention and ya’ll just gave him the perfect motivation to do something stupid by laying that $100 out in front of him? This aint child’s play here ralph, this is our friend’s well being, and ah aint just gonna sit back and let you put that well-being  in danger  because you think he aint gonna talk to Sunset. Ah mean think about what you’re doing here Ralph? Do you really think it’s worth it to risk our friend’s safety like this just to prove a point with some bet?”

“Well…” Ralph said..”no of course not. But as I told you before, I’m not putting him in any danger AJ, because all his is is bark and no bite. He has never acted on any plans involving asking someone out before now, and he most certainly isn’t going to change that up now when Sunset Shimmer of all people is the one he needs to confront, even with $100 on the line. So as much as you might hate to hear me say it, this bet will still go on. After all, this could be a unique opportunity to prove to him how dangerous it is to constantly talk a big game and seek attention at the expense of others."

“You you. littleGRRRRRRRR!” Applejack said, “AH swear, sometimes you act just like a low down good for nothing FAGGOT!”

“HEY!” Ralph said getting irked quickly. “How many times have I told you to not say that prejudicial shit around me? There’s nothing wrong with gay people Applejack, and you using such derogatory terms to describe them does not make others think highly of you. Mark my words, if you keep saying stuff like that, one of these days people are going to get fed up with you and cut you off. So if you know what's good for you you better start listening to me now and change your behavior before it’s too late." He then looked at the clock and said " But in any case I have to go! Lunch is almost over, and I have a class all the way across school I need to get to.” He then tossed the contents of his tray and exited the room.

Applejack watching him go, gave him a major eyeroll behind his back. “Ya’ll want ME to change mah behavior?” she grumbled. “Now aint that just rich ya fuckin faggot. Telling me to change mah actions when ya’ll are the one who needs to change the way they handle things! Ah swear, sometimes ah really hate that stubborn faggot Ralph!” Applejack said. 

“Well whatever,” she continued, “This bet needs to be called off as soon as possible, and since mister stubborn know it all faggot there aint in a listening mood it sure aint gonna happen through mutual agreement.  So how am ah gonna go about this?” she said thinking. 

She then said” “Ah suppose ah could always try and convince Pocket Pair to forfeit the bet. Ah mean he may be stubborn and all , but he’s also smart and he does listen to me more than he does to most people. So if ah can show him just how dangerous what he's gotten himself into is, then he just might be willing to forfeit the bet even with $100 on the line.” 

She then looked up at the clock and said “well whatever ah do, ah better do it fast. Talking him out of it aint gonna do anythin if he meets up with Shimmer before ah meet up with him. So first thing after school ah’m gonna have to find him and try and talk some sense into him. Ah only hope ah won’t be too late,” she said, before she took out her phone and began typing a text message to Pocket Pair telling him to meet her  in the right hallway first thing after school to discuss something important. After she sent it, she tossed what was left on her tray, before she left the lunchroom just at the bell rang.

> Out of The Frying Pan...
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday August 17, 3:00 PM

“Grr,” Sunset groaned as she looked up and down the hallway for Snips and Snails, “Where are those two idiots at? I mean really, it's bad enough they showed up late this morning and COMPLETELY ruined my skirt today at lunch, but now they have the gall to be late to meet me AGAIN!? All I can say is, for their sake, they better have a VERY good excuse on their hands when they finally do show up…” Just then, Snips and Snails rounded the corner with a worried look on their faces and Sunset stared at them menacingly.

“Miss Shimmer, we have a problem,” Snips said. 

“Yes, most certainly do now don’t we?"  Sunset said. “You know what it is? For the second time today, when I asked you to meet me at a specific time, you showed up LATE!!!! Mind telling me why that is?”

“Uh," Snips said, "We could, but I have a feeling you wouldn’t want to hear the details of it considering you didn’t this morning.  And besides,  give what’s been going on that's probably not the most important thing for you to worry about right now Miss Shimmer..."

“WHAT," Sunset Snapped, “Are you being smart with me Snips?"

“No, of course not miss Shimmer" Snips said... "As you’ve always said, we don’t know how to be smart. It’s just that, well you see, everyone has…um…..you tell her Snails." he said pushing Snails forward.

"Tell me WHAT?" Sunset said angrily. 

“Well” Snails said, “Ok now don't take this the wrong way Sunset, but right now you're kind of hated by most of the school..."

Sunset after contemplating what he just said, burst out into hysterical laughter. “What the, WHAT?!” She said laughing heartily. “Are you serious right now? I mean I knew you two were dumb before but this really takes the cake. I mean really, how can you say something so preposterous Snails?  OF course everyone in the whole school loves me! I’m Sunset fucking Shimmer!!!”

"Uh, you may still be Sunset Miss Shimmer” Snips said, “However,  I don’t think that after that video circulated around that everyone in the whole school loves you anymore…” 

“Video? What video?” Sunset snapped.

"This video,” Snails said taking out his phone and showing a YouTube video on the screen. “Ever since someone recorded what you did to Derpy this morning this video has been circulating like wildfire around school."

"Let me see this," Sunset said snatching the phone away from Snails. Her eyes then quickly widened as she read the title of the video. "What the….Bitch bullies disabled girl in first period class? Alright, who’s the dead person who made this video?"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about WHO created this video if I was you," Diamond Tiara said approaching her from behind. "Because to me, I think the bigger concern for you is the fact that someone forwarded that video to the FaceBook profiles of every single student in Canterlot High."

“Quite right Darling," a white skinned girl with curly purple hair and a British accent following closely behind Diamond Tiara said. "Why I dare say that given how many people it was forwarded to and how often people check their Facebook it’s highly likely that everyone in the whole school has seen this video by now. Looks like your social standing here at this school is, how do you say, kaput."

"RARITY," Sunset said turning to face her “I should have known! You did this to me didn't you?"

"Oh heavens no darling," Rarity said. "I mean I’m not going to lie to you and say I didn’t THINK about doing something like this to you before. However, being a lady I would never stoop so low as to actually act on such a fantasy. I do have a reputation to uphold after all.”

"Well if you didn’t do it, then you better tell me who did!” Sunset growled, “Because when I find out, I’m gonna…”

"Oh tsk tsk Darling," Rarity said cutting her off "Making empty threats is no way to handle this situation if you ask me.”

"Empty, EMPTY?! You call my threats empty." Sunset shouted at her. "Have you forgotten who you’re talking to miss!?”

"Oh heavens no darling!" Rarity said, "How could anyone EVER forget you? It’s just that since the whole school saw the horrible things you did in that video, nearly everyone in it hates you.  And as a result, if you do try to do something which requires student support in order to be successful, such as getting revenge on someone for example, you will get no support in your endeavor and your plan will most likely miserably fail. Not to mention the fact that in light of recent events, were anything to happen to anyone in the near future, you would most certainly be the top suspect and it’s highly likely that the faculty would then turn on you as well. And you wouldn’t want to ruin yourself in the eyes of the faculty too now would you?”

“Well I, this is… Grr.” Sunset growled “Ok fine, maybe you have a point Rarity. Or at least you would, if you weren’t blowing this whole hatred thing out of proportion. I mean granted my popularity may have taken a dive because of that stupid video, but I was so popular before that I am fairly certain that the overall opinion of me in this school is still positive.”
Just then Frink and some of his fellow classmates walked by the two groups of people, and Frink pointed to Sunset and said “Oh look who we have here fellow Earthlings. It is none other than the former queen bee Sunset Shimmer and her absent in the cranium lackeys."

"You don’t mean the same Sunset Shimmer who bullied that poor girl in that YouTube video 96.79% of the students in this school have seen do you?" one of his classmates said.

"Yes I  indeedlee eedl ee dee doo," Frink replied. "Why I dare say with how widespread viewership if that video in this school and the associated hatred of Sunset it brought with each view that she may very well be less liked around here than the Westboro Baptist Church is at the funerals of fallen soldiers.”

“Well that’s a first,” one of his fellow classmates said. “Do you think she’ll still win fall formal this year with all this scandal going on?” 

“Well, it is too soon to answer that question with absolute certainty.” Frink said, “however, based on my highly perceptive analysis of the situation, I’d say that unless something in Sunset Shimmer’s situation changes drastically, her chances of winning the fall formal this year are marginal at best.”

“Marginal, HA! That’s a laugh” Sunset shouted. “Yes, support may take a slight hit from this stupid video, but even if it gutted my supporters that wouldn’t do a damn thing to hinder my chances of winning the election. After all, in case you’ve forgotten,  I’m running unopposed.”

“Well, that may be so at the moment,” Frink replied. “However, if my predictions are correct, and they usually are because I’m a genius, I give it 4.20 hours until someone signs up to run against you this year. Oh, and by the way, 420, inhale marijuana once per rotation of the Earth.”

“What?!” sunset exclaimed, “Have you lost it there nerd boy!? Why on Earth would you think that someone will run against me now when no one has lifted a finger against me in school elections for over two years?”

“Simple, silly person,” Frink said. “Your plummet in popularity due to the video has created a vacuum in the power structure in Canterlot high school. This of course gives your numerous rivals the perfect and unprecedented opportunity to take advantage of the power void and seize control of this school. And what better way to make a name for themselves and their nascent leadership careers than to beat you in this year’s fall formal election.” 

“I couldn’t have said it any better myself nerd boy,” Diamond Tiara said, "In fact, as it just so happens Sunset, I was on my way to get my name on the ballot when I ran into you just now.”

“WHAT?" Sunset snapped, "You’d better NOT, because if you do, I’LL…”

“You’ll do what again darling?” Rarity said. “Because I thought we made it crystal clear that you have no power in this school to do anything to anyone anymore. Not to mention that that sounds like a threat against us and being a lady who believes in the ideals of our nation I most certainly refuse to stand such undue hostility and am willing to pursue legal action if it continues.”

“What, but,” Sunset said moaning, “But come on, she can’t do this! It’s always been MY dream to win the title of fall formal princess every year in high school. I can’t just sit back and let someone take it away form me like this!!! Especially HER of all people!!!!” 

“Yes well, no one is forcing you to sit back now are they?” Rarity said. “After all, you are still free to run for princess of the fall formal this year the same as any other year. It’s just that this time, you shall not be the only one running, and as such the voters will have everything to say about who is in charge of this school once everything is said and done. So if I was you Sunset dear, I would try not to do anything stupid that would taint you even further in the eyes of the school and give the students in it further reason to hate you. Such as by, oh I don’t know, threatening revenge on those who want to wish run against you for example…

“Well said lovely lady,” Frink said. “Even with my genius IQ I could not have phrased it any more superiorly that you did just now. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be going. Science club starts soon and I don’t want to miss a minute of the pretty colors of exploding chemicals, beakers, and test tubes, gahaveee..” The rest of his group voiced assent and then they all walked away and soon disappeared from sight.

“Well,” Rarity said, “I say it’s time we take our leave as well darling. After all, Diamond Tiara here has a campaign to win, and I just have the cutest design for an outfit she can wear during her speeches that I want to get started on straight away. Toodaloo darling," Rarity said before her and Diamond Tiara walked away.

Sunset, after watching them walk away and then turn the corner out of sight, turned to Snips and Snails and said, "Ok, change of plans. In light of recent developments, I believe it may be possible that my chances of winning the fall formal are slightly lower than 100%...”

“Slightly? Try slim to none,” Snails said. 

“WHAT?” Sunset said glaring at him.

“Uh.. nothing,” Snails said backing away.

“That’s what I thought,” Sunset said smirking. “Now as I was saying, right now, my chances of winning are slightly lower than 100%. As such, if things do continue as they are there is a slight chance that I will not win princess of the fall formal this year. Not that I’m really worried about losing or anything, because I’m not! However, since I HAVE to win every year, I think we should do our best to remove any doubt regarding my success by coming up with a plan to convince my fellow students to unanimously love me once again. So you numbskulls, do you have any ideas?"

"Ooh, I have one," Snips said. 

"Yeah, me too," Snails said.

"Ok, now before you say anything, answer me this.” Sunset said. “Do your ideas in any way shape or form involve you or someone else making love with me? Because if the answer is yes, those hands better go right back down as quickly as they went up.” In response, Snips and Snails gulped and quickly put their hands back down. "Good, Sunset said "Now that I have defined what ideas I am willing to accept from you blockheads, do you have anything for me?"

"Zilch," Snips said.

"Nada," Snails said.

Sunset then facepalmed and said "Oh brother, I swear these two are so stupid …” before she began walking towards her detention room and Snips and Snails followed behind her.


………………………………………………………

"Ok, here I am, west hallway of the school. Right where Applejack told me to meet her" Pocket Pair said after school had concluded for the day.  He then looked around and said “Now where is she at anyways? I really hope she gets here soon, because the sooner I can meet with her and take care of whatever business she needs to handle, the sooner I can get to work on solving this problem I've gotten myself into. I mean, not that I really am in any danger or anything, since I have no doubt that my master plan WILL work on Sunset if I can get manage to get an extended audience with her. However, getting the audience in the first place is where I have some concerns. After all, while I normally would just go up and talk to someone if I was interested, with Sunset Shimmer I really have no idea how to go about it. I can’t just go up and approach her directly because if how she reacted when I looked at her the wrong way this morning is any indication, she is not liable to take it very well, and if she doesn’t take it well, then I can kiss any chance of winning this bet good bye in a heartbeat. So just what am I going to do?” 

He then sighed and said, “Maybe this is a just lost cause. After all, as perfect as my plan is, that won’t mean anything if Sunset too unapproachable to give me a sufficient amount of time to implement it. And no matter how hard I try I cannot think of any way of talking to her that is going to give me the time I need. Maybe I should just forfeit this bet right now before I make a fool out of myself trying to do something impossible.” However, he then shook his head and said," And let Ralph have the satisfaction of saying I told you so?! NO WAY! Sunset may be a piece of work who’s always on her period but I would rather deal with her than give that British fucker the satisfaction of being right any day. I mean sure I will have to endure a day of hell if I do mess up while talking to Sunset, but at least then my suffering will be over. If on the other hand I forfeit this bet Ralph will never let me hear the end of it and will never listen to anything I have to say ever again. Clearly, talking to Sunset is by far the lesser of two evils here. However, how am I even going to do that? I mean really, Sunset thinks she’s so high above everyone I’d be hard pressed to see even a popular jock getting an audience with her, let alone a social outcast like me…”

However, his despair quickly faded and his eyes lit up. “Unless,” he said, “Yes, of course! Why didn’t I think of this before? Sunset thinks she's perfect, and having dealt with self-obsessed people like her before I’ll bet anything she likes nothing better than to be told that all the time by those she’s around. However, since the people who surround her most likely never say that to her, both due to her actions and their behavior towards others, that means that deep down, she is probably starved for attention and praise and wants to get it any way she can. So, if someone, such as myself,  were to  go up to her and kiss up to her by telling her how perfect she was, I'll bet she would want nothing better than to keep me around so she could keep hearing that from me regardless of how popular I was or wasn’t.And once that happens, I will have no shortage of time in which I can enact my master plan, and can win this bet in my leisure.” 

“Yes, this is what I have to do,” Pocket Pair said. “Not only will it finally shut that British Bastard up once and for all, but if it works right it should also serve to greatly boost my popularity as well.  And who knows, if my popularity can get high enough, and I see no reason why it couldn’t, maybe, just maybe, I can finally get an audience with the girl I REALLY want to go out with. Now that would really be something…”

"What would really be something now?" Applejack asked approaching him from behind him.

"Oh, Applejack," Pocket Pair said nervously... "Um I was just talking about... um, how great it would be to win the World Series of Poker Main Event someday. Yeah, that’s right.”

"Are you sure?" Applejack said suspiciously. “Ah mean not like ah wouldn’t expect ya to talk about that or anything, it’s just that it kinda sounded like ya were talkin about something else just now…”

"It did? Well that’s strange…,” Pocket Pair said. “Because I most definitely WASN’T talking about something else, no sirree.. heh heh.” He laughed nervously.

"Uh huh…”Applejack said suspiciously. “Well if ya’ll say so, then ah guess ah’ll take yer word for it. In any case, ah’m mighty glad ya came to meet me P Pair. Ah have some very important business to discuss with ya regardin that bet ya made with Ralph today and I hope we can get it resolved as soon as possible.”

“Oh is that what this is about?" Pocket Pair said laughing. "And here I thought it was going to be something bad.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Applejack said.  

“Oh, nothing,” Pocket Pair said smugly, “Just that I came up with the perfect plan to play on Sunset’s weaknesses and get an audience with her, and that I’m almost positive I can win the bet in the near future if I do it right. In fact I’m thinking about talking to Sunset right after I’m done talking to you here…” 

“Oh snap!" Applejack said, "Then it's sure a mighty good thing ah found ya when ah did."

"Huh? Why is that Applejack?” Pocket Pair said confused. 

"P Pair, ah'm gonna tell it to ya straight," Applejack said, "ya'll cannot talk to Sunset Shimmer.”

"What?! Why!?” Pocket Pair said.

“Because,” Applejack said. “She’s one of the meanest people in the school and if ya’ll talk to her it’s just gonna end up getting ya in a whole heap of trouble.”

"Well duh, no shit she’s mean Applejack." Pocket Pair said, "After all, it’s not like I’ve never witnessed her in action before. Afteer all, it was just this morning I stopped her from bullying a disabled student!”

“So that means ya WON’T talk then?” applejack said curiously.

“Ono, of course I’m going to still talk to her,” Pocket Pair said. “I mean sure, Sunset may a bit, PMSy at times so to speak, if that’s what I saw her do today is the worst she’s capable of, then I see no reason why I shouldn’t…”

“Worst? Ya’ll think that’s the WORST she’s capable of?” Applejack said cutting him off, “P Pair,ya’ll may think how she acted today was bad, and ah aint gonna say that it wasn’t. However, what ya saw this morning aint nuthin more than a mild temper tantrum when it comes to Sunset Shimmer. Piss her off and she is capable of doing FAR worse than that to ya…”

“Ok, Such as?” Pocket Pair asked. 

“Such as destroyin yer self-esteem, ending yer friendships, and even ruinin people’s lives!” Applejack stated. “And that’s why ah can’t let ya talk to Sunset P Pair. Because doin so would be like letting ya waltz on into the lion’s den without so much as a chair to defend yerself with!”

"Those are very bold claims now Applejack,” Pocket Pair said. “Do you have any actual proof that she does that stuff to people that you know of ?” 

“Yes, of course ah do.” Applejack stated. 

“Well then what is it?” Pocket Pair said. 

“Ah…. Ah can’t, ah can’t say exactly.” Applejack said 

"Oh sure, I believe you” Pocket Pair said sarcastically. “After all, it doesn’t sound the slightest bit suspicions to me that you were so adamant about what you were saying two seconds ago and then froze up the minute I asked you to provide me with evidence now does it?”

"P Pair, don’t ya try and use yer fancy convoluted logic and reasonin to try and muddy the issue here!” Applejack exclaimed, "Just because ah can’t give ya a specific example of something Sunset did doesn’t mean ah aint tellin ya the honest truth about her! So if ya know what’s good for ya, evidence or not ya’ll will listen to mah warning, go up to Ralph, and forfeit that bet as soon as possible before it tempts ya to say something to Sunset yer gonna regret!”

“Oh… you want me to forfeit the bet? Is that it!?” Pocket Pair said annoyed. “Oh ho! Now I see what’s going on here…” 

“What in tarnation are ya talkin about?” Applejack said confused. 

“Oh don’t play dumb with me Applejack,” Pocket Pair said. “It’s quite obvious you’re only telling me to avoid Sunset because you’re working for Ralph.” 

“What?” Applejack asked shocked. “No ah aint!”

“Maybe so,” Pocket Pair said, “but then again that’s just what I’d expect you to say if you were working for him now isn’t it?”  

“P Pair, listen to me,” Applejack said. “Ah’m not lying to ya about Sunset, ah’m tryin ta warn ya for yer safety.”

“Oh yeah,” Pocket Pair said, “Well if you’re telling the truth then how come your story doesn’t make sense? As they say in poker, if you’re story doesn’t make sense, you’re full of it, nad I see no reason why I should believe that isn’t the case here!”

“P Pair, come on, think about this fer one second” Applejack said. “This is me Applejack you’re talkin about here. Why would ah of all people stoop so low as to betray you like this? Ah mean really, what do ah even stand to gain from doin such a thing?”

“Well” Pocket Pair said thinking before his eyes lit up with an idea. “I’ll tell you what you stand to gain. Money!”

“Money? What money?” Applejack asked.

“The $100 from the bet of course!” Pocket Pair said,  “It’s all quite simple really. Once you convince me to forfeit the bet because I’m supposedly in danger, I go up to Ralph and forfeit the bet and give him $100. Then, when I’m not around, you and him meet up somewhere and he gives you a portion of his profits in exchange for your help in making sure he won the bet!!”

“WHAT?” Applejack exclaimed. “ P Pair that aint…
”
“And you thought you would get away with this too now didn’t you,” Pocket Pair said ignoring you. “Well guess what, in your haste to make a fool out of me you forgot one key thing, I’m a meddling kid! And as such, I was able to learn about your dastardly plan before it could conclude and as such was able to prevent it from coming into fruition like you so desperately wanted it to. In your face BITCH!” 

Applejack, hurt and angered, said “Ah can’t believe you! Ah truly can’t believe you!!!! How can ya’ll say something like that about me?! After all we’ve been through since ah’v known ya?! Don’t ya’ll know better than that by now!? Doesn’t bein you friend fer this long get ya to at give me yer trust!?”

“No, it doesn’t,” Pocket Pair said.  “And you know why Applejack? Because you’re NOT my friend,! At best you’re my acquaintance, and honestly, after this little stunt you just pulled with Ralph I don’t think you’re even qualified to be called that anymore. Heh, I guess it really is true what they say, southerners really are just stupid rednecks. How else could you be that out of it that you really thought my trust in you would let you get away with the horrible plan you’re trying to pull at my expense?” 

“GOSH DANGIT P PAIR!”  Applejack stated angrily. “Fer the last time ah aint tryin to pull one over on ya! And how many times have ah told ya not ta call me that?!”

“Don’t call you what redneck,” Pocket Pair said. 

“Redneck ya asshole!” Applejack growled, “Ya’ll know it hurts mah feelings when people judge me based on how ah talk and where ah’m from like that. So why knowing that do ya’ll continue to say it to me so much?” 

“Because, it’s true,” Pocket Pair said, “All southerners are just selfish rednecks! And your reaction right now just proves I’m right!”

“Oh yeah?!” Applejack stated. “Well yer reaction just proves yer a fuckin prick! Why would ya’ll even say something like that about mah reaction anyways?”

“Because,” Pocket Pair said,  “It shows that as I suspected, you only care about your own feelings and don’t even give two thoughts to the feelings of others.”

‘How does that even relate ya cotton pickin idjit?” Applejack shouted.

“Because,” Pocket Pair shouted, “in all your scheming, yelling, and whining you once never stopped to think about how I felt in all of this. Did you ever once think about how much it hurt MY feelings when Ralph said those things at me today at lunch and you just sat there? Did you ever think about how hopeless and pathetic he made me feel when he refused to listen to my concerns and instead outright stated I would never be good enough for any girl? Nope, of course not, because like Ralph you’re just a selfish hedonistic asshole who’s more interested in trying to make a quick buck than giving two shits about the feelings of their supposed friends!”  He then screamed as he turned away from her and punched a locker near him.

Applejack, after standing there for a second in shock, said “Is that really how ya feel P Pair?”

“No, I lied about everything just now,” Pocket Pair snapped sarcastically. “OF COURSE IT’S HOW I FEEL!”

“P Pair, ah, ah had no idea…” Applejack said confused.

“Yeah, well now you do, so there!,” pocket Pair said, “It’s not like it matters either way. Nothing will ever change around here.”

“And why would ya’ll say something like that?,” Applejack said. 

“Because” Pocket Pair said. “No matter what I do or how hard I try Ralph will never listen to a word I say.”

“Well maybe it would help if ya’ll weren’t  constantly try to get attention from him.” Applejack stated. 
“He really is getting tired of constantly hearin the same things from ya all the time…”

“Oh yeah?” Pocket Pair shouted. “Well maybe if he actually LISTENED for once I wouldn’t have to keep repeating myself in a desperate attempt to get my points through his thick fucking skull!” 

“Wait a minute…” Applejack stated. “Is that why ya’ll keep sayin that stuff to him then? Because ya’ll think he never listens to it?”

“Ding ding ding, we have a winner Johnny!” Pocket Pair shouted.

Applejack, after staring in concern, said “Now everythin makes sense…” Applejack said. She then turned to him and said “Have ya ever told Ralph ya’ll feel this way when he don’t listen?”

“He knows how I feel about it Applejack!” Pocket Pair snapped. “He just doesn’t care about how I feel because he gets a sick twisted kick out of watching me squirm all the time! Why else do you think he treats me like that so much in the first place?” 

“P Pair, listen to yerself fer a second.” Applejack said, “do ya’ll really believe that Ralph is a sociopath like that and is doin this to deliberately hurt ya, or do ya think maybe your emotions and pain from how he’s been treatin ya might be cloudin yer judgement a bit on this issue?”

“I… I don’t know.” Pocket Pair said. 

“Listen P Pair,” Applejack said putting her hand on his shoulder. “Ah know Ralph has hurt ya a lot with the way he reacts when ya say certain things to him. Ah didn’t before, but ah do now. But in spite of all the pain he ened up causin ya ah;m pretty sure he aint meant to do any of it. Sure ah know ya might think he’s out ta get ya with how he constantly tries to shut ya up like that, and truth be told ah’d probably feel similarly to ya if ah was in your situation.  But even so, ah wouldn’t just assume the worst about him like yer were doing until ah had all the facts on the matter. So that’s why ya’ll have gotta talk to Ralph and get the whole story here as soon as possible.” 

“I do have the whole story Applejack,” Pocket Pair said. “And I know for a fact that he knows how much his actions hurt me and that he keeps doing them because he gets a sick enjoyment out of it!”

“Is that so?” Applejack said.  “so ah assume ya’ll have told him this before and he’s kept doin it anyway then…”

“Well…. No, I” Pocket Pair said.

“Well tarnation P Pair,” Applejack said, “Iffin ya haven’t stated it to him how can ya be sure of anything? All ya’ll are doin is speculatin, just like he was speculatin today that the reason why ya’ll repeat yerself to him so much is because ya’ll just want his attention.”

“Maybe,” Pocket Pair grumbled.

“It aint maybe, it’s the truth.” Applejack said. “And if ah was you, before ah did anything else like talk ta Sunset or something else ya’ll will regret later, ah’d approach Ralph directly the next time ah saw him and tell him in detail how horrible it makes ya feel when he says that sorta stuff to ya all the time.”

“I.. I don’t know” Pocket Pair said.  “Can you maybe do it for me?”

“Ah guess ah could…” Applejack said, “but ah don’t know if that’s gonna be the most effective way of letting him know how ya feel here. After all, if ah go up to Ralph and try to explain yer feelins to him for ya ah’m bound to mess something up in translation.  And furthermore, knowin Ralph, if ah jumped in and just started attackin him sayin ya’ll had a problem with him, he’d probably just accuse us of gangin up on him and get too honked off to listen to me before ah could even get mah message across to him. With all that standin in the way of meaninful progress ah think it’s much better fer ya’ll to be the one  to go up to him and talk about this issue.” 

“I… guess so…..” Pocket Pair said. “But I still don’t know.  What if he doesn’t listen to me again? He never has before…”

“That’s because ya’ll don’t address problems the most civilly P Pair,” Applejack said. “When ya’ll have a problem, instead of talkin about it calmly and collected like, ya start pointin fingers and yelling at people. Ah get why ya do it, ah truly do, and ah’m not sayin that ah aint never done that before. But that don’t change the fact that when ya bring up problems to someone that way that they are more likely to get defensive against your attack on them then they are to actually listen to what ya’ll have to say to em.”

“Maybe…” Pocket Pair said. “But how else can I handle it Applejack? No one ever listens unless I shout…”

“Well shoot, ah can help ya find a way.” Applejack said. 

“Really?” Pocket Pair asked, still dubious.

“Sure,” Applejack replied. “We got a whole walk home together right now don’t we? Ah’m sure that’ll be plenty a time for me to help ya get the gist of another method of brining up yer problems to people. And furthermore, once ah’m done with that, we could use the remainin time to come up with a list of key points ya wanna address when ya do talk to Ralph.  So whaddya say P Pair? Sound like a plan?”

“Well…” Pocket Pair said thinking. “Ok, let’s do it!”

“That’s the spirit,” Applejack said. “Now come on P Pair, let’s get started by havin ya go over the things ya wanna say to Ralph. After all, it don’t matter how well ya bring up yer problems to someone iffin ya don’t know exactly what poblems it is ya wanna address… ”

“Sounds good,” Pocket Pair said,” So the first think I want to address is Ralph is how bad it makes me feel when…” and he continued talking as both of them began walking down the hallway towards the front entrance of the school. 

Meanwhile, nearby, Sunset Shimmer, Snips, and Snails were still walking together trying to come up with a way to restore Sunset’s reputation to where it was before the Derpy incident occurred. While at first they were all walking quietly in thought, this peace was soon disturbed when  Snips raised his hand and said “Heya Miss Shimmer, I have an idea!”

“Ok, let’s get this over with…” Sunset groaned. 

“Ok,” Snips said, before he breathed in deep and said ”So you know how boys like tits right Miss Shimmer?” 

“Against my better judgment, I'm going to answer you and say yes, I know that." Sunset said. 

“Well then” Snips said, I think that given the knowledge of that fact, the solution to your problem is very very simple. First, you take off your top, show us your tits, and let us photograph them in a bunch of different positions. Then, once we’re all finished taking the pictures we need, we sneak into the teacher’s lounge and use the copy machine to make a whole bunch of copies of the pictures. Then, we take all the copies and proceed to hand them out to all the guys around school saying ‘vote Sunset Shimmer while we do so. That way, whenever the guys who have your pictures see you from then on, instead of thinking how much they hate you for what you did to Derpy, instead they’ll think of your tits and the sexual pleasure they derived from yanking to them! And as a result, the school will adore you more than ever before, and you will have no problem obtaining enough votes to ensure you winn the titla of fall formal princess this year. Great plan right Miss Shimmer?”” 

“Yeah, show your tits, show your tits,” Snails said. 

Sunset, after gritting her teeth at their disturbing suggestion, shouted “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!!!!!! YOU FUCKING BLITHERING IDIOTS! NO BOOBS, NO SEX, AND NO ASSES OF ANY KIND ARE TO BE INVOLVED IN MY PLAN TO RESTORE MY POPULARITY!!! MY GOD, YOU THINK IT WOULDN’T BE SO HARD FOR YOU TWO TO COME UP WITH A PLAN THAT DIDN’T INVOLVE THOSE THINGS, BUT NO, IT SEEMS AS IF YOU’RE COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF THINKING OF ANYTHING ELSE!”

“HEY!” Snails said. “I may think about sex a lot but I am occasionally capable of thinking about other things Sunset!”

“Ha ha, what a nerd,” Snips said. “I think about sex all the time. How else do you think I know how to be such a stud for all the ladies in the school?” 

“You? A stud?” Sunset said incredulously, before she began to chuckle and then burst into uncontrollable laughter. “HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA!” She laughed “You a stud? Oh that’s rich! That’s too too rich! And just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be more of an idiot…” she said continuing to laugh hysterically as her group reached the end of the hallway and began to round the corner.  Simultaneously reaching the same corner form the other direction were Pocket Pair and Applejack, who were deeply involved in a discussion of the key points Pocket Pair wanted to bring up to Ralph when he confronted him the next day.  Since both groups were too preoccupied with what they were doing to pay attention to what was in front of them, neither group noticed the other one approaching around the corner and they all continued walking. As such, the two groups promptly collided, and the force of the collision sent everyone in them falling backwards so they hit the ground hard on their behinds.

> Into the fire!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday August 17, 3:15 PM

“Aw shoot,” Applejack said as she stood up after falling from the collision “that smarts.”

“Motherfuking hell!”” Sunset shouted as she stood up as well. “Fucking idiots! Doesn’t anyone watch where the hell they’re going around here?!”

“Ah’m really sorry,” Applejack said turning towards her, “Are ya’ll oka…” but her apology was cut short and her eyes widened as she realized who she had run into.

Pocket Pair, the next one to recover, also got up and said “ouch, talk about Newton’s 3rd law in action.  Is everyone ok here…” before his eyes widened too as he realized Sunset Shimmer was standing before him.

Sunset, taking notice of their silence, said “What the fuck is up with you two? Hello, Earth to weirdoes! Did the collision scramble your puny brains or something…” She said before laughing at her remark. However, she quickly stopped laughing upon looking at them more closely. “Hey, wait just a minute!” She said “Both of you look incredibly familiar! Have I seen either of you before? 

“Yeah,” Snips said. “You do look familiar. Have either of you per chance ever starred in a porno or something?”

Applejack, snapping out of her trance, nervously said “Huh? Us look familir? No ah don’t think we are familiar to ya. Ah mean not that we aint heard of YOU before or anything, but.. ya know…” she said nervously. She then looked at the clock and said “My my my! Look at the time! If we stay here any longer we’re both gonna miss our bus. Let’s get movin P Pair,” she said as she started briskly walking down the hall way expecting him to follow her. Pocket Pair however, instead of moving, just stood there in shock and thought.

“Hey, I think you forgot something!” Sunset called after Applejack, causing her to turn around and notice Pocket Pair wasn’t following her. “I’d get him checked out if I was you,” Sunset continued, “It looks like he might have broke from the collision!”

Applejack, walking back to the group, muttered  “Well ah, ya know.. heh heh heh” she laughed nervously, before she leaned into Pocket Pair’s ear and whispered, “Hey, P Pair! Come on will ya!?” Again however, Pocket Pair just continued to stand there.

Sunset, taking amusement in his motionless behavior, began to chuckle and said  “wow, he’s quite the bright one isn’t he? Tell me, does he always act like this, or did I catch him on a good day?!”

Applejack chuckling nervously again, turned to Pocket Pair and said, “Dang it P Pair, why are ya’ll standin there like an idjit?! Get movin already!” 

“Yes, please do.” Sunset said cynically. “I want to see if you’re smart enough to walk on your own!” 

Pocket Pair, after standing there another minute, gulped before he whispered, “Here goes..” HE then turned to Sunset and said “hey, are you alright there pretty miss?”

“Oh my god! It talks!” Sunset said laughing. 

“Uh huh yeah,” Pocket Pair said. “I do indeed talk. Sorry to be all weird on you there for a minute. I’m not usually like that. It’s just that whenever I find myself in the presence of such a beautiful lady like you, I always have trouble coming up with what I want to say.” 

Applejack, shocked at what she heard, said “What?!”

“Yeah,” Sunset said suspiciously, “What indeed?! I mean don’t get me wrong, I am pretty so you’re right to say that about me. But no one has EVER said that to me even once before! What are you trying to pull here?”

“Yeah,” Snips said. “What dick are you trying to pull…” before he was elbowed by Sunset.

“Pull? Why I’m not pulling anything on you…” Pocket Pair said. “I just like to tell people how I feel about them. Certainly I’m not wrong for telling you the truth now am I?” 

“Well, no…,” Sunset said, “I guess not…  But then how come you’re the only on to ever tell me how pretty I am?”

“Well,” Pocket Pair said. “I can’t state for certain, but if I had to take a guess I’d say it’s probably because you tend to hang around vapid jerks! You can’t expect people like them to say the truth about you! After all, think about how much it would affect their reputation if they openly admitted how pretty you were?”

“That… actually makes sense!…” Sunset said accepting what he was saying. 

“Of course it does!” Pocket Pair said, “And that same logic is exactly why there’s no reason I can’t tell you every single thing I think about how pretty you are.”

“P Pair, what in tarnation are ya…” Applejack said,  before Sunset stuck out her hand and motioned for her to stop.

“Hey! Cowgirl!” Sunset said. “Shut your yap and let him continue.  I’m intrigued in what this guy has to say.”

Pocket Pair, happy to see his plan was working, took a deep breath in and said, “Well where do I start? There’s so much I want to say!”

“Start with my hair!” Sunset said, “How does it look?”

“Your hair?” Pocket Pair said, “Why I think your hair looks amazing. And I just love the way that the red highlights in your yellow hair, or maybe it’s yellow highlights in your red hair, I honestly don’t have enough experience with hair to tell,  work with one another to make it stand out like a plate of bacon in the snow.”

“Oh brother,” Applejack said rolling her eyes.

“Hey, shut it,” Sunset said to her, before she turned back to Pocket Pair and said, “go on.” 

“Well,” Pocket Pair said continuing. “As amazing as your hair is, it is not nearly as dazzling as your clothes. That black leather jacket just says ‘hey world, look at me, I run this thing.’ And that skirt with the bicolored sun on it tells just that, just like we always feel the sun on a clear day, we always feel your presence whenever you enter a room.”

“And my figure,” Sunset said.

“Your figure…” Pocket Pair said thinking. “Well, I could try to describe how awesome, amazing, and perfect your figure is to you with words, but ultimately, what’s the point? Your figure is so perfect that no words I could say would even come close to giving it the proper justice so I’m better off not saying anything!”

Sunset, smirking, said, “Well well well, finally someone who appreciates true beauty. You should take fashion advice from him cowgirl, it’d do you wonders.”

“Uh huh, sure… ah’ll definitely do that” Applejack said nervously.

Sunset then turned towards Pocket Pair and said “Well anyways there kid. I guess I was wrong for thinking you were stupid earlier. You may just be the smartest guy in this entire school because you’re the only one who sees the truth about my looks.” She then looked at the clock and said,” Well in any case, I have to go so I can’t stick around and chat. See you around smart boy!” She said before she turned and began to walk away and Snips and Snails followed her. 

“See ya later hottie,” Snips said to Applejack as they walked away.

“Yeah,” Snails said, “give us a call sometime will you cowgirl? We’ll be happy to teach you about the REAL cowgirl” before sunset shoved both of them and they both stopped talking and faced forward again. 

Applejack, after looking on nervously, sighed and said, “Phew that was a close one. Now come on P Pair, let’s count our blessins and get outta here!”

Pocket Pair however, ignoring Applejack , said “hey wait!” before he ran after Sunset Shimmer and got in front of her, blocking her path. 

“Hey, what are you doing?” Sunset said trying to sidestep him.

“Wait, please you can’t go, not yet!” Pocket Pair said getting in front of her again.

“Excuse me!” Sunset retorted. “Get out of my way! I have to be in detention in five minutes!" 

“P Pair, come on, let’s go,” Applejack said walking up to him.

Pocket Pair however, ignored Applejack again and said, "Yes, I know that, and I’m not trying to hold you up here. I just need to ask you one quick question and then I'll get out of your bacon colored hair." 

“GRRRR.” Sunset groaned rolling her eyes, “Alright fine. But make it quick!”

“Ok, I just wanted to uh.. uhhhhh....” Pocket Pair stammered.

“Come on, spit it out already!” Sunset shouted. “I don’t have time to waste here!”

“It it’s just, I really, really think you’re cool Sunset.” Pocket Pair said, before he face palmed at the stupidity of that statement.

“Wow, really?!” Sunset said feigning enthusiasm. “Wow, just wow. It’s not like EVERYONE in this entire school thinks that about me and thus it wasn't a total waste of my time for you to stop me so you could tell me that! Oh wait, yeah it was! So if you’ll excuse me…” She said trying to step around him again. 

Pocket Pair, getting he in front of her again, said “hey wait, I wasn’t done yet.”

“Oh yeah?!” Sunset said angrily, “You better stop getting in my way kid or you'll learn just how fast I can make you done!"

Pocket Pair, gulping, then said “Alright alright, just give me a second," before he breathed in deep and said  "Long story short, I really want to be like you Sunset shimmer.”

Sunset, annoyed at him stating the obvious again, sarcastically said "Uh, no shit. It's not like I'm queen bee and everyone's jealous of me or anything!" 

Pocket Pair, ignoring her remark, continued and said,"So, because I want to be like you so much, and because you yourself like hearing me compliment you so much, I was hoping that, maybe if you didn't mind, that you'd, help me learn your ways in exchange for more compliments..."

“Huh?” Sunset said confused. “Help you? Learn my ways? What on Earth are you blabbering about?"

Pocket Pair responded and said  “Well, in other words, I was hoping you would,  let me hang out around you once in awhile so I could observe you and you ways more...."

Sunset, shocked at what she heard, widened her eyes and said  “Woah woah woah WOAH! WAIT A MINUTE HERE! Did you just ask me if we can hang out some time?” 

“Uh, yeah,” Pocket Pair said, “I guess that’s one way to word it Sunset. So what do you say? Huh?" 

Sunset, after sitting there in shock for a few seconds, began to chuckle before she broke out into hysterical laughter, and Snips and Snails, after looking at each other,  quickly began to laugh along with Sunset. “HAHAHAHA” Sunset said, “Oh my god. Now THAT is a good one!"

“Yeah!” Snips said as he snickered.

“Yeah” Snails said as he laughed, before he stopped laughing and turned to Sunset and said “UH, Sunset, what are we laughing about again?”

“P Pair, come on, let’s go!,” Applejack said, this time trying to pull him away from Sunset, but failing as he shook loose from her grip and turned back to face her.


Sunset, who had finally finishing laughing, then turned to him and said, “Wow kid! THAT was funny! You really can tell a good joke! And you know what, while normally I'd humiliate you for blatantly wasting my time like this, because your joke made me laugh so hard, I'll let you off the hook this time!"


Pocket Pair however, annoyed at her laughter, said “hey, what about the answer to my question Sunset!?”

“Question?” Sunset said stifling a few residual giggles. “And what question are you referring to?”

“Can I hang out with you? Yes or no?” Pocket Pair said irked.

“Wait.. Oh my god!” Sunset said shocked. “Don’t tell me you, were actually being SERIOUS when you asked that!!!?!?!?!?" 

“Uh, duh, of course I was, so could you just…,” Pocket Pair said, but he was quickly cut off by another fit of hysterical laughter from Sunset.

“HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Sunset laughed even harder than she had before, and she quickly lost her ability to stand and collapsed onto the floor, where she rolled around and howled in laughter.

Upon seeing this, Pocket Pair’s irritation increased, and Applejack, seeing him tense up, walked up to him and said “Come on P Pair. Can’t ya see this aint workin? Can we just go already?" before she grabbed him and tried to pull him after again. 

Pocket Pair however, now very irritated, yanked free from her grasp and said “Hey! SUNSET! What is so god damn funny about that question I just asked you!?!?!"

Sunset, finishing her bout of hysterical laughter, got up with effort and said “Well duh? Isn’t it obvious? You suggesting I, the queen be of this school, take you, a lowly loser at the bottom of the social ladder, under my wing and hang out with you!? HA hah hahhahah! It’s just so preposterous you can’t possibly NOT laugh!” she said before she slapped her knee and began to laugh some more.

Pocket Pair, now getting angry, said  “And just who are you calling a loser Sunset, because it had better not be me…” 

“No, it's not you at all,” Sunset said cynically. “I’m actually talking to the invisible student standing right in front of you!" She said stifling another bout of laughter.

Well, that's... HEY!" Pocket Pair snapped as she began to laugh again.

"Wow, you actually fell for that one?" Sunset said amused. "You know, for someone who has such insightful opinions about my appearance you’re really not all that bright now are you?”

Applejack, seeing Pocket Pair tense up in anger at that latest statement, leaned into him once again and said “P Pair, come on! Stop beatin this dead horse! It aint gonna get ya nothing!” before she grabbed onto him and tried to pull him away once again.

However, Pocket Pair, now truly angry, struggled against her and with the adrenaline pumping through him managed to break free again after exerting some effort. He then turned to Sunset and said, “Hey, stop laughing at me and implying I'm a stupid loser! What about how awesome I was just two seconds ago for complimenting you like that? Surely that should get me better treatment than this..."

“OH, you think so?”  Sunset said snarkily, “Well then I'm afraid you have a lot to learn about reality around here. The fact is, that while you may be the only person to tell me those things to my face, you’re hardly the only one in this school who thinks them about me! So if you think that because you told me that stuff just now you're entitled to some sort of special treatment from me, then you are sorely mistaken. No matter how many times you compliment me, it will never do anything to change who you are in this school. An insignificant loser at the bottom of the social ladder! And being the queen bee, there is no way I would EVER jeopardize my reputation in this school by agreeing to hang out with someone, like you, will never amount to anything here. So, now that I’ve clarified that to your puny pea brain, I have to take my leave. See ya later, LOSER!" Sunset said before she  and her group turned and walked away.

Applejack, seeing Pocket Pair grit his teeth in anger, said “P Pair, don’t…” but she was too late as that last remark pushed Pocket Pair's temper to the breaking point. 

Pocket Pair, having lost his temper, shouted after Sunset, “Oh yeah Sunset! Well maybe you're right that I am a loser, but at least I'm not a total fucking BITCH like you!”

Sunset, immediately stopping after hearing his comment, turned to face him and glared at him, before she said “What did you just call me?”

“Clutch, he called ya clutch!” Applejack exclaimed. “As in cool, heh heh heh,” She laughed nervously, before she quickly grabbed Pocket Pair’s hand and tried to dash away with him. 

Pocket Pair however , given the extra adrenaline pumping through him from his rage, easily broke free from her grasp and turned back to Sunset. He then said, “What? You didn’t hear what I said the first time? Heh, and I thought your toadies were supposed to be the dumb ones here. But anyways,   since you didn’t hear what I said the first time, I’ll guess I'll just have to repeat myself to you. You Sunset Shimmer, are a cold, heartless, fucking ,BITCH!”

Sunset, angered at his outburst, walked up to him and got into his face before saying, “Oh, so you say I’M the stupid one here? Well guess what smart guy! The only one I see with any deficiency in their intelligence around here is YOU! And if you have any idea of what is good for you in that puny little brain of yours you will shut the fuck up RIGHT NOW before you really piss me off!" 

“Oooh, ” Pocket Pair taunted covering his mouth and backing away, “I think you're the one who needs to shut their mouth! Your breath is RANCID!" he said to her.

Sunset, quickly losing her temper, said “WHAT?!" 

“P Pair, shut it!” Applejack snapped at him, before she put both arms on him and tried to pull him away by force. 

Pocket Pair however, adrenaline pumping through his body, managed to oppose the much stronger farm girl, and said, “And you know what else is Rancid. You are!"

"Hey, give Miss Shimmer her proper respect you little Welch." Snips said to him.

"Me give her respect?" Pocket Pair said before he busted out in laughter. "Oh that's rich! Why should I give any respect to that fucking bitch! It's clear she doesn't deserve it." 

“P Pair!” Applejack said still trying to pull him away.

“LAST WARNING!” Sunset shouted at Pocket Pair, “Do you have any idea who you’re talking to here? I’m the fucking queen bee! The ruler of this school. The master of the hallways! I got where I am BECAUSE people see how great I am and respected me enough to elect me leader! And if you don't get back in your place right now I promise you you'll regret it" 

However, Pocket Pair , still fighting against Applejack's grip, said, “Oh, me get back in my place? And what about th fact that you've never been in your place Sunset!?"

"What?" Sunset snapped, but Pocket Pair ignored her.

"I mean really," Pocket Pair continued, "Do you really think the reason you got where you are is because everyone here respects you? HA! As if! Everyone knows that no one in this school besides your two idiotic lackeys there respects you in the slightest Sunset Shimmer, even you! And I also know that even though you may have been 'elected' ruler of this school, only reason why that happened is because you're such an uber bitch that that no one ever had the balls to seriously try and oppose you! If you want the truth Sunset, as much as you say to the contrary,  we both know you don't deserve any of the things you have in this school right now! You don’t deserve to be queen bee! You don’t deserve to run this school! And you NEVER deserved to win fall formal!" 

Sunset, red in the face and eyes twitching, opened her mouth to call him out, but was cut off by Applejack who shouted "“GODDAMN POCKET PAIR, SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY! AH MEAN REALLY, ARE YA THAT STUPID THAT YA THINK PICKIN A FIGHT WITH THE MEANEST GIRL AND MOST POWERFUL GIRL IN THE ENTIRE SCHOOL IS A GOOD IDEA!!!! LET ALONE DOIN IT THAT SAME DAY YA GOT HER DETENTION FOR TELLIN ON HER FER BULLYIN SOMEONE! WHAT IN GOD'S GREEN EARTH DO YA'LL THINK THAT'S GONNA GET YA!?"

However, before Pocket Pair could respond, Sunset, said "Wait a minute! Pocket Pair? You’re POCKET PAIR! As in the same Pocket Pair form this morning?!"

Applejack ,realizing she just spilled the beans, said, “Wait, ya’ll didn’t hear me right, ah said,” 

“Oh I heard you right alright cowgirl,” Sunset said, before she turned to Pocket Pair. "I KNEW you looked familiar, and I can't believe it took me this long to realize why! Do you have any idea how much trouble you caused me!? How much bullshit you started this morning when you led that pathetic revolution against me!? Now the whole school wants me overthrown, and because of you standing up to me this morning and being SUCCESSFUL they now know they can do the same too and get away with it! Already some fucker from that class shared a video of the indident on facebook and destroyed my popularity, and just now one of my longtime rivals declared to my face that they would be running against me in the fall formal this year! My dream to win the fall formal crown this year is getting further and further away as we speak, and it's all because of YOU!"

She then continued and said "And then in spite of what happened you still had the gall to approach me just now and try and ask me to help YOU!? Well guess what loser, I'll help you alright. And when I'm done giving you my help, you will regret the day you EVER messed with me! So I hope you enjoyed your first day of school, because I can assure you that once I'm done with you that word will never again be used to describe another day for you here at Canterlot High!"

"Sunset Wait, No!" Applejack said pleading to her. "Please, don't do this, give him another chance!"

"Give him another chance?" Sunset said incredulously. "And why would I do that? HE stepped out of line and has to pay the price for his insolence! And besides, what kind of impression would I be giving if I let him off the hook? Then everyone would start talking to me like that and I would be lose all the respect I've worked so hard to get! But I digress, I have places to be and things to do. See you losers later," Sunset concluded, before she, Snips, and Snails turned and began walking away. 


Pocket Pair, finally having his anger subside, realized what he had just done and turned towards Applejack. “I.. I didn’t, I didn’t mean!"

"Come on P Pair, let's go." Applejack said glumly, before Pocket Pair nodded and both of them began to walk towards the front of the school.

> Motivations
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday August 17, 3:35 PM



Pocket Pair and Applejack walked out of the building in utter silence. Both of them wanted to say something, but due to the gravity of the situation both of them were at a loss as to what exactly it was that they did want to say. Eventually however, Applejack couldn't hold it in anymore and turned to Pocket Pair. "AAAARGH," she groaned, "DAMN IT P PAIR! WHY DID YA'LL HAVE TO GO AND DO SOMETHIN LIKE THAT! Ah told ya the dangers of messin with that girl clear as day. AH mean ah  knew ya really wanted to talk to her, but ah thought maybe, just maybe, if ah talked some sense to ya and showed ya how dangerous what ya'll were gettin into was and helped ya find another way to handle the situation,  an intelligent person like you would see the error of yer choice and decide to take a different course of action. But did ya'll listen? NO, like a stubborn faggot ya'll went ahead and talked to Sunset anyways, and just like ah knew was gonna happen she turned ya down and caused ya to lose yer temper and call her out! And now, because ya'll dared to challenge her,  she's swore year long revenge on ya and will stop at nuthin to make yer life miserable in every way possible. So tell me P Pair,  Was it worth it to talk to her even though ah told ya not to?" She said getting in his face, "WAS IT!"



"Alright, ALRIGHT, I GET IT!!!" Pocket Pair shouted back at her pushing her off of him. "Like always, i'm wrong and you're right. SO ha ha Applejack, you get to say I told you so like you wanted to this whole time. You win, I lose, just like it always is for me!" Pocket Pair said, before a worried look crossed his face and he said "She isn't really going to ruin me ruin me for what I said is she Applejack?"



"P Pair," Applejack said, "Ah could try and sugarcoat it for ya and tell ya everything's gonna be peachy keen, but ah think the far better thing for me to do it just pony up and tell ya the truth. So Ah'll lay it to ya straight P Pair,  Yer in manure, REAL deep manure. What you said to Sunset, while true and clever, was something Sunset perceived as a challenge to her iron like rule of Canterlot High, and Sunset is NOT  the type of person who is gonna take such behavior against her lyin down. She'll use everything in her fancy repertoire of manipulation to get under yer skin, find out your deepest darkest fears and secrets and tell the whole school abou them, and make your life a living hell to the best of her ability by isolatin you from everyone and making you more alone than ya have ever been."



Pocket Pair nervous beyond description at the scenatrio Applejack laid out for him,  then turned to her and asked her "You're not 100% positive about this being what she'll do right? I mean theres still a chance I could hit a runner runner flush and win in the end isn't there?"



"P Pair, ah'm sure as apples have cores that's what Sunset is gonna do to ya fer standing up to her like that." Applejack said, "After all, ya'll can't suck out against someone who already holds all the cards."



Pocket Pair, still hoping he could find some doubt in Applejack, asked her "And how do you know this is what she does to people anyways? I mean I haven't seen anyone stand up to her since I've gotten here so it's not like you have an example to draw this theory from do you?"



"P Pair, how ah know aint important," Applejack replied. "What's important is THAT ah know." 



"But HOW do you know Applejack?" Pocket Pair asked again hoping she had some doubt. "Do you personally know someone she did that to in the past or something?"



What?" Applejack said turning away and getting defensive. "No! Ah don't know anyone she did that to!"Of course not!" 



"But you must know SOMEONE right?" Pocket Pair said, " I mean if you that sure of yourself..."



"Ah'm that sure of mahself because ah KNOW Sunset!" Applejack said. "Now can ya'll let the issue drop so we can focus on more serious things!"



"I guess..." Pocket Pair said, "But I still want to know, how do you know this? I mean if you don't know anyone then maybe there's a chance you're wrong..."



"P Pair, ah aint wrong! Now stop askin me!", Applejack said getting angry, "Ah told ya what ya wanted to know so just let the issue drop!"



"I know, but it still seems..." Pocket Pair said.



"Dangit, ah'm warning you!" Applejack said getting enraged.



"... but... I" Pocket Pair tried to continue before Applejack cut him off.



"GOD DANGIT P PAIR!" Applejack said suddenly turning towards him and snapping at him. "Just stop askin me already! Ah told ya what ya wanted ta know and that aint gonna magically change just because ya'll keep pesterin me about it. So please STOP ASKIN ME WILL YA?"



"Hhmph, maybe" Pocket Pair said turning away, hurt at her outburst at him.



"Look, ah'm sorry ok!," Applejack said putting a hand on his shoulder, which he promptly brushed away "IT's just  we got FAR more important things to focus on right now, such as the fact that Sunset is gonna pull out all the stops to make yer life a livin hell if we dont do somethin to stop it."



"Yeah, you're know what, you're right." Pocket Pair said, before he reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone.



"What in tarnation are ya'll doin?!" Applejack said.



'Playing poker," Pocket Pair said opening his favorite poker app.



"And how on Earth can ya'll  think about playing poker at a time like this?" Applejack asked incredulous.



"Oh I can't really," Pocket Pair said, "I'm sure that I'm much too flustered to play rationally right now. But it is on my bucket list to play in the high seas casino and my bankroll isn't going to build itsself."



"Bucket list?" Applejack said. "P Pair, why mention a bucket list, ya'll aint gonna die or nuthin."



"Oh yes I am," Pocket Pair said as he put all his earnings on the table, "From what you said to me about what Sunset is gonna do I'm gonna die a slow and painful death over the course of the rest of this year so I better get started on my life goals before that time comes."



“Woah woah woah now!?" Applejack said taking his phone from him. 



"HEY, GIVE THAT BACK!" Pocket Pair shouted at her.  



"Not until you listen to what ah gotta say," Applejack said, "P Pair, ya'll are NOT dyin this year."



“But I am going to die Applejack,” Pocket Pair said. Even if she doesn't drive me to commit suicide, she WILL drive me to go into ANOTHER depression and lose all drive to do anything, thus rendering me dead inside. Dead.. DEAD!!!" 



“P Pair?" Applejack said.



"DEAD I TELL YOU DEAD!?!?!?" Pocket Pair said garbbing his head and begining to rock back and forth.



"P Pair? P PAIR! Hey! Snap out of it!" Applejack said grabbing him and shaking him to get his attention.



"Huh, what?" Pocket Pair said confused.



"P Pair, listen to me," Applejack said looking into his eyes, "Ya'll are NOT gonna die!"



“And how can you be so sure huh?” Pocket Pair said. “I've already lived through most of my life without friends or hope and it's done a number on me.  And now that I might finally be escaping some alpha bitch wants to throw me headlong right back in there?! I CAN'T go back to that dark place again, I just CAN'T!"



"And ya'll WON'T go back there P Pair," Applejack said "Not if ah have anything to say about it."



"And just what are YOU gonna do huh Applejack?" Pocket Pair said. "What can you do or say that will prevent Sunset from bringing her wrath down on me in full force? You said yourself she will pull out all the stops to make sure my life is miserable!"



"You're right, ah did say that," Applejack responded, "And ah'll admit there aint much ah personally can do to physically stop Sunset from goin after ya if that's what she decides she wants to do. But ah can promise ya this! No matter what happens, no matter how rough things get, no matter what stops Sunset pulls, ah'll have yer back P Pair."



"Uh huh, sure," Pocket Pair said sarcasticaly, "I TOTALLY believe you."



"P Pair, ah'm serious!" Applejack said annoyed. "Yer mah best friend, and ah aint gonna bail on ya!"



"Heh, sure you are, and I'm the pope." Pocket Pair said sarcastically. 



"Gosh dangit P Pair, why don't ya believe me?" applejack said annoyed.



"Oh I think you know FULL WELL why I don't believe you!" Pocket Pair said.



"No ah don't!" Applejack  said. "Hence why ah'm askin!"



"Oh yes you do," Pocket Pair said. "You're just asking because you want to play dumb, and act innocent so I let my guard down. WELL IT WON'T WORK!"



"Gosh dangit P Pair, listen to yerself!" Applejack said. "Ya'll really think ah got the time an motivation to come up with so convoluted a scheme considerin ah get absolutely no benefit from doing so to you?"



"Well..." Pocket Pair said, "I don't know."



"Exactly," Applejack said, "So since ah aint got the time or motivation to do that clearly ah'm not aware of the reason why ya'll don't view me as a friend. So will ya'll just please tell me why ya'll think that way about me already?"



"Alright fine!" Pocket Pair said. "You want to hear my reasoning, well then listen up! I don't believe you because EVERYONE in my life who has ever said they are my friend or will have my back has failed me in the end. Oh sure they SAY they'll have my back and support me, but then, when the chips go in the middle and it's time for them to back up their statement,  ALL THEY HAVE IS FOUR HIGH, showing once again they were just full of shit the whole time, and No one, and I repeat NO ONE,  has ever deviated from that sadistic cruel plan. So given the fact that i've been putting up with this for years,  what makes YOU think you've earned the right for me to believe you at face value? Huh Applejack?"



Applejack then sighed and said to him, "P Pair, ah'm sorry aint no one has had your back. Ya'll want friends, it's clear that's the case, and ah'm sorry so many people have let ya down and turned such a simple desire into a lifelong struggle for ya. But ah'm different P Pair."



"Oh yeah," Pocket Pair said bitterly, "And how the HELL is that the case?"



"Because," Applejack said,  "Ah CAN be counted on, ah do have yer back, and  ah'm gonna try my damnedest to prove that to ya every day from now on, startin with helpin create a plan of action to fix this situation ya'll have gotten into and making it so Sunset doesn't inflict too much pain."



“Oh really?” Pocket Pair said dejectedly. "And just what do you supposed I do about this situation then huh?  Am I supposed to just hide and hope she can't find me for the rest of the year?"



"No," Applejack said, "Ah mean ya'll could do that but it sure as sugar aint gonna work. So instead, what ah suggest ya do is tell yer parents about this issue as soon as ya get home and see if they can't help ya out."



"My parents?" Pocket Pair said shocked.



"Yes, them," Applejack said, "If you tell them then they can tell the school about this bullyin issue and Sunset will be under eyes more watchful than a hawk's, makin it much more difficult to even try anything and nearly impossible for her to get away with it."



“Ok, Applejack," Pocket Pair said,  "I'm going to try and put this as gently as possible. THAT IDEA SUCKS! My parents never listen to me about anything and right now my mom is pissed at me for calling her a bitch in passing this morning. What motivation would they posibly have to help me?"



“Because they're yer family P Pair, and families help each other out no matter what." Applejack said.



"Heh, sure they do." Pocket Pair said cynically, "That's why the mob family's way of helping people out who get into trouble it to make them sleep with the fishes."



"P Pair, come on!" Applejack said, "Do ya'll really think yer family is gonna respond to ya tellin em yer in trouble by killin ya and dumpin yer body in a river?"



"No, but they still won't listen!" Pocket Pair said, "After all, they never listen to anything else I say!"



"P Pair, ah know yer family and ya aint on the closest of terms," Applejack said, "But ah still think yer wrong about them not carin for ya at all. And in any case it can't hurt to at least try and talk to them now can it?"



"Maybe not," Pocket Pair said skeptically.



"Good," Applejack said, "So will ya promise me ya'll will at least try and talk to them?" Applejack asked as they approached the walk in front of Pocket Pair's house.



“I... I guess so..." Pocket Pair said. 



“Good," Applejack said as he separated from her turned down his walkway. Pocket Pair then waved good bye to Applejack  and  said "See you later I guess. If I live long enough that to do so thatis."



"See ya tomorrow P Pair," Applejack said, "And ah promise you, ah aint gonna let ya down, and Sunset AINT gonna win this fight" Applejack said as she turned away and walked down the block.



Pocket Pair then turned around,  opened the front door and closed it behind him before he walked into the kitchen.



"Well well well, look who's home?" His dad quickly said as he entered the kitchen.



“Oh, hey dad," Pocket Pair said, "Listen, we need to talk about something real quick..."



“Yes indeed we do,” his dad said, “Namely the fact that you called your mother a bitch this morning."



“Oh heh heh yeah, about that...,” Pocket pair said, "The thing is, what I have to discuss is slightly more. important than...”



“What's IMPORTANT," His dad said cutting him off, "Is that you apologize to her right now for getting out of line at her again!"



“Excuse me?" Pocket Pair said agitated. “ And why should I apologize? It's not like I just said that for fun, she provoked me!"



“Maybe so," His father said, “But regardless, She's your mother and you need to respect her, and if you don't aplogize to her there ARE going to be consequences."



"And why does SHE garner unconditional respect?" Pocket Pair said angrily, "Just because she's older than me?"



“Yes, I mean no, I mean that's not the point," His dad said. "The point is you cannot call your mother those things and you need to apologize for saying them to her RIGHT NOW!"



"Oh yeah," Pocket Pair said, "Well guess what! I Won't apologize! Anyone who is going to play a stupid age trump card to get out of being held responsible for their instigating behavior towards me and then turn around and expect me to kiss their boots is not going to get anything from me except a verbal lashing!"



"Ok, so you wanna be that way?" his dad said angrily, "Well then go up to your room. You need to think about what you'done and don't even think of coming back out until you have. Got it?”



“Yeah, whatever, it’s better than being down here,” Pocket Pair said as he headed upstairs. As he entered his room, he said “Well THAT couldn't have gone worse!"



“Mow ow,” Princess said from his bed.



“Oh, my parents just used the age trump card on me AGAIN, what else is new?" Pocket Pair said. "And to make matters worse, that isn't even the biggest of my problems right now."



"Mow ow?” Princess said.



“Can I talk about it later?" Pocket Pair said. "Right now I'm so angry I can't even think straight, and I think I need to just put my head down and relax for a little while before I do anything else." he said before he laid down next to Princess and closed his eyes.



………………………………………..



Applejack walked away form Pocket Pair’s house and said, "Well, now that P Pair is gonna talk to his parents about this whole Sunset Shimmer issue, ah think it's high time to have a little 'chat' with that British boy about what happened today." she said before she whipped out her phone and dialed Ralph up.



After the phone ringed a few times, Ralph picked up and said "Oh, hello Applejack love, it's so good to hear from you calling me on  the phone. To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"



“Oh nuthin," Applejack said dodging the question. "Ah just wanted to have a little chat with ya and discuss what Pocket Pair did right after school today."



"OH boy, what is it now," Ralph said irritated, "ANOTHER attention scheme he forced you to listen to?"



“Nope, not exactly," Applejack said, “He actually up and talked to someone,  someone with bacon hair, a leather jacket, and a BAD attitude, does that ring any bells in yer head?"



“Oh no," Ralph gulped, "YOu don't mean Sunset Shimmer do you?"



"Clever boy Ralph," Applejack said "Right after school he up and talked to Sunset Shimmer and actually asked her out, and do you know what she said?"



"Heh, do I even need to ask?" Ralph said smartly, "How long did it take for her to turn him down, ten seconds flat?"



"Oh, not long at all," Applejack said, "And CERTAINLY no longer than it took for her to insult him causin him to lose his temper, him to call her out, and her to respond by swearing eternal revenge on him for his outburst!" Applejack shouted into the phone.



"Wait, what?" Ralph said.



Applejack, ignoring his question, shouted into the phone again. "Ah told ya, AH TOLD YA, he wasn't sayin that stuff fer attention ya stubborn faggot, but did ya'll listen to me? No! Instead, ya'll just HAD to go through with that stupid bet of yers anyways to prove some stupid point, and now, P Pair is shapin up to have the worst yer of his school career BAR NONE!"



"Oh geez," Ralph said mind blown, "That's messed up!"



"Yeah, it is messed up!" Applejack said. "And because YOU were a direct cause of this mess with your stupid $100 bet, YOU are gonna help me and P Pair DISCUSS this issue so we can come up with a plan of action to minimize the damage."



"Uh, I don't know about that..." Ralph said sheepishly.



"YA'LL DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT?!??!" Applejack shouted, "Just who in the hay do ya'll think you are? IF ya'll hadn't taken him up on that stupid bet none of this woulda happened, so it's time for ya to own up to yer mistakes and help fix em fer once!"



"Listen, Applejack, I'd love to do that and all..." Ralph said. " I mean don't get me wrong, it's not like I WANT Sunset aiming her wrath at him or anything, but I DON'T think I should be expected to put MYSELF at risk by planning to oppose Sunset just because Pocket Pair chose not to keep his mouth shut."



"DAMNIT RALPH." Applejack shouted, "YER HIS FRIEND, HELP HIM OUT!"



"Friend?" Ralph said, "Oh I wouldn't use a word THAT strong. After all, Pocket Pair always goes on and on about how we're acquaintances at best..."



"So you're saying you won't help then?!" Applejack said as her anger rose and she threw his arm off of her.



"No, I'm sorry" Ralph said, "It's simply too dangerous for me to risk becoming  target of Sunset Shimmer's wrath to help Pocket Pair out especially considering this whole thing could have easily been avoided... unless."



"Unless?" Applejack asked, "Unless WHAT?"



"YOu agree to go out with ME, this next week Applejack." Ralph said.



"A DATE!?!?!?!" Applejack shouted, "Are you SERIOUS right now? Our friend is in trouble and ya'll are gonna use that to try and secure yerself a DATE!?"



"Our acquaintance you mean Applejack," Ralph said, "And if you don't want to agree to the terms, then I don't think there's sufficient incentive for me to put myself at risk to help Pocket Pair out. So good bye Applejack..."



"WAIT!" Applejack shouted into the phone.



"Yes.." Ralph said.



"GAh... " Applejack said, "Ok fine, Ah'll go on a stupid date with ya."



"Alright then Applejack, you're a smart girl love," Ralph said into the phone, "So we will go out to sugarcube corner this Saturday evening, and then we'll enjoy a night on the town."



"Fine," Applejack said agitated,  "But only if YOU agree to actualy come tonight andf make a serious effort to help fix this probloem, no half assing it!"



"Fair enough," Ralph said,  "Well in any case I better go. I need to get ready for my date, with destiny. Au revoir, mon charie." Ralph said, before he hung up the phone.



Applejack, after she was sure he hung up,  shouted,  “GAH! What a FAGGOT. Using a problem with his friend to try and score a date with ME!? Who in the hay does he think he is anyways? Ah really have half a mind to shove my foot up his ass for trying to pull a stunt like this..." She then sighed and said, "Well in any case, ah better text Pocket Pair and let him know about this meetin. It concerns him and we could definitely use his brain power to help us, considerin we only got 1 brain between the rest of us since it's clear Ralph is only thinking with that head between his legs." She then typed “meeting at Sugarcube Corner at 8 to discuss solutions to Sunset issue. Don’t be late.” She then sent it and said “ah sure hope we’re able to come up with something, ah can't bear to watch P Pair go through even half of what ah went through freshman year."She then sighed again and continued walking towards her house to get some rest before that night's meeting.
> Pinkie Pie and More Plans
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday August 17, 8:00 PM

“Ugh” Pocket Pair said as he awoke with a start. “What happened? One minute I put my head down to relax and the next... I was having this horrible dream. Sunset Shimmer came into one of my online poker rooms and put me on tilt so bad that that I blew through my whole bankroll. Man, I think I would die of embarassment if something like that were to happen to me in real life." However, he then remembered Sunset's threat and said "but if I don't do something about this Sunset problem FAST, I might just die in general.  What time is it?” he said looking whipping out his phone and noticing the message Applejack had sent him."

"Huh, what's this," He said opening it and reading it. After he had finished, he said "Well, I'm glad Applejack wants to help and all, but considering that I'm still grounded and I sure as heck can't go to Sugarcube Corner tonight. I better let her know I can't go" he said as he typed and sent a reply message to her text. After doing so, he said,  "Now, since I can't meet up with Applejack and ...RALPH" he said sticking his tongue out at the name, "if I want to prevent this Sunset issue from getting too out of hand, I better get moving on is ASAP."He then turned and nudged his cat Princess and said. “Hey Princess, you awake?” and recieved no response. He nudged her again and said "Hey Princess, you awake?" a little louder, and still recieved no resonse. He then shouted "HEY PRINCESS, ARE YOU AWAKE?"

“Mow ow,” Princess said groggily.  

“Oh, well I guess you are now” Pocket Pair said, “But in any case that's good. We have a LOT of work to do to deal with the Sunset issue, and since I overslept, we do NOT have much time. Have you used the litterbox recently?”

“Mow ow,” Princess said. 

“ok, well then go and take care of that and come back,” Pocket Pair said. “we have a long night ahead of us and I don't want you leaving in the middle of an important train of thought because you have to take care of an issue.”

“Mow ow,” Princess said, and she jumped off the bed and walked towards the door. However, on her way, she ran into a shelf and a force of the impact with it caused a clown mask that was sitting on it to fall off and land on her head. 

Pocket Pair, after seeing Princess was unharmed by the impact, burst out in laughter. "HA ha hahahah! he said. Princess, you look just like Dick The Clown!"

Princess, after fumbling with the mask for a few seconds, flung it off and hissed at Pocket Pair before she walked out of the room in anger. 

Pocket Pair, stopping laughing, said “Hey, come on Princess, I wasn't laughing at your pain, I was just laughing at the situation. I knew you were ok, honest." He then burst into laughter again as he thought of the image of Princes wearing the clown mask. "Hehehe" he chuckled, "Boy did Princess look hilarious in that clown mask. Why, it fit her so well that, if I didn’t know better I would have sworn she was another cat entirely when she was wearing it." He continued laughed a little bit more, but stopped suddenly as an idea dawned on him. “Wait a minute.. another cat entirely? THAT'S IT! Why didn’t I think of this before!? A disguise! If I go to school dressed as a clown, Sunset will not know who I am and will continue looking for me in order to dole out her revenge scheme. As a result, eventually, when she fails to find me and becomes bored with searching, she'll forget about the whole issue, and move on to the next person who insults her, and I'll be in the clear. It’s PERFECT!”

However, he then thought about his plan and and said, “Well, perfect except for one thing, actually obtaining the supplies I need. I mean yes I have a mask but that old thing probably doesn't even fit anymore, and even if it does I'd still need clown clothes and shoes to complete the illusion, lest I risk Sunset seeing through it. But just how am I supposed to get clown supplies anyways? The party store is out because I'm grounded and can't leave the house tonight, and Amazon,com is out because there's no way they'd be able to deliver me the necessary items to me in a short enough time to avoid encountering Sunset tomorrow. So just what am I going to do?”

However, his eyes then lit up and he said, “Wait a Minute! Party store! Party! Party Planning committee! I distinctly remember Canterlot High having  party planning committee, and what's more, I know full well they should have the necessary clown supplies because the person in charge hosted a masquerade clown ball in the gym just this last spring before the Spring Fling. I'll bet, if I contact the person in charge of this party planning committee and tell them I need their help, they should be able to get the clown supplies before tomorrow and give them to me before class starts so I can don them before Sunset can start her revenge. It's not a guarantee that this will work, but given how things are going, this seems like it's the only realistic option I have at this point.  I just hope they have a pair of size 10 clown shoes handy for me to wear..." He said as he went to his computer and looked up the party planing committee of CHS on Google.  

Upon finding the website he needed, he quickly opened it and was immediately greeted by a  shower of confetti covered the screen and a pink skinned girl with pink curly hair, a purple skirt with balloons on it, and a blue sleeved white shirt with a pink heart in the middle of it jumping onto the screen out of the confetti explosion. “HI!" she said, “I’m Pinkie Pie, head of the Canterlot High party planning committee and if you’re here, that means I’m probably going to throw a party just for you. Will you be surprised? Huh? Will ya, WILL YA?"

"Heh, oh boy, this isn't cheesy at all." Pocket Pair said sarcasticaly.

The animated Pinkie, as if sensing his lack of impression with the intro, said, "And if you plan your party right now, I'll make sure to bring enough poker table to host a texas hold'em tournament for you! Won't that be GREAT?!”

Pocket Pair, upon registering what he had heard, widened his eyes and said "Woah woah woah woah WAIT A MINUTE! Did that preprogrammed animated person on the school’s website just suggest bringing a POKER table to a party they were hosting? No, they couldn't have, I must have just heard wrong..."

"If you heard wrong, just let me say that again for you...," the animated Pinkie said, "Plan your party right now and recieve enough poker tables to host your very own TEXAS HOLD'EM TOURNAMENT!."

"Ok, I guess I WASN'T hearing things!" Pocket Pair exclaimed, "Why, if I didn't know better, i'd say this person knew I of all people was going to use this website and crafted the welcome message specifically to suit me. But that's impossible isn't it? There's no way anyone could have anticipated all of that is there?" he said looking at the screen again, and shuddering as Pinkie Pie winked at him. "UGH. Well, enough focusing on this creepyness for now! I need to find this Pinkie Pie person's contact information as soon as possible, so I can get the hell on with my plan and the hell OFF of this website. Now where are you contact info....?" he said looking around the screen.

However, his concentration was quickly broken as the animated Pinkie said, “oh, my right ear is a twitching, and when that happens it means you need to know my contact information right away so you can get clown supplies from me to fulfill some convoluted plan. So, since you need to know that information so much, then you'll be happy to know that you can  contact me at partychick@gmail.com, or on my cell phone at 555-par-tyyy”

“Ok, now this is just CREEPY!" Pocket Pair said," 

“Oh, you want creepy? Come back on halloween then silly!" Pinkie said before giggling, and Pocket Pair responded by quickly grabbed his mouse and closing his browser as fast as he could in response to that last statement. 

“Ok, What the actual FUCK was that about?" Pocket Pair said. “There is NO WAY, NO HOW, someone could have known I was going to say creepy like that just now. Either this Pinkie Pie person is psychic, or whoever made this website is one of the biggest creepers PERIOD!" He then looked at his phone and heard Pinkie Pie recited her number again in his head, and said "Well, creeper or not, I need her  help, so here goes nothing!" before he grabbed his phone and began dialing Pinkie's number.

……………….

Applejack, angry and stressed, walked into Sugarcube corner and quickly looked around for Ralph. “Dangit, where is that British bastard at? Ah know P Pair said he was busy so ah don't expect him to be here. But Ralph has NO excuse not to show up to this meetin, especially considerin that date he forced me to agree to just so he;d come to it."

Just then, Ralph walked in and waved to her before saying, "Hey good looking, what's cooking?"

“There ya are!” Applejack said exasperated, “What in the hay took ya so long to get here?”

“Oh, nothing," Ralph said, "I just got lost in thought thinking about you…and me... together... between the sheets!"

“RALPH,” Applejack snapped. “We all have serious matter we neeed to discuss here, and ah'll let ya know now if ya'll make ANY more of them crass jokes here tonight the only think that will be between anythin else is mah foot goin in between your legs kickin ya in the balls!"

“Ok, ok ok, I won't make any more of those jokes then!” Ralph said annoyed, “Jeez farm girl, don’t get your knickers in a bundle here now! After all, you don't want to spoil ME doing that to you now do you love?”

"Whatever," Applejack said rolling her eyes at him and dismissing him with a wave "Well, P Pair was gonna meet us here, but he's still grounded so obviously he isn't exactly gonna be able to make it here today. So, we need to get started on makin plans and brainstormin RIGHT NOW to make up for our time constraint if we're gonna solve htis before we leave here today."

"Ok, fine." Ralph said, "But not before I get me a good old a strawberry milkshake. I simple CANNOT pass up on one of those considering I'm in this restaurant right now."
Applejack, highly irritated, said "Gah, alright fine, get yer stupid milkshake," before muttering under her breath "stupid faggit,"as she waved and got the attention of a pink haired pink skinned waitress wearing a blue sleeved white shirt with a purple heart in the middle who quickly noticed them and came bounding towards their table. Applejack, suddenly realzing who she was, said, "Wait a minute, oh no, it's!"

"Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie," Pinkie Pie shouted as she bounded over and landed next to their table, "And welcome to Sugarcube Corner. Home of the very first sugarcube shake and best dining establishment in the city of Canterlot. May I take your order?"

"Uh… one strawberry milkshake.” Applejack said as she looked down.

“Oh, ok, that'll be $5.99" Pinkie Pie said, "Will you be paying in cash or..." she said, before she stopped talking and got a shocked expression on her face. "Hey, wait a minute,” Pinkie Pie said pointing to Applejack, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

“oh, he he,” Applejack chuckled nervously, “no, ah highly doubt it. Ah personally have never seen ya before in mah life!”

“Are you sure?" Pinkie Pie said prying, "Because you look like this one friend I used to have who name was..."

"Hey, look!" Applejack said pointing across the room, "There's a balloon being blown up over there!"

"Balloon! WHERE!?" Pinkie Pie said, bounding away in uncontrollable excitement to find the non-existant balloon.

“What the bollocks was that all about?” Ralph said turning to Applejack. 

“Ah haven't the slightest idea what yer talkin about!" Applejack said playing innocent.

"Are you sure, because from the way you acted it sure sounded like you do." Ralph said.

"Well, ah DON'T," Applejack said, "So ya'll can just drop the issue and move on! Besides, we got more important things to focus on here than some pink haired party fanatic at the moment, we have a friend to help. So quit gettin distracted and let's pool our brains to try and think of ways to stop Sunset Shimmer's evil plan.”

"Ok, fine, a deal is a deal after all," Ralph said, and they both then sat in thought for awhile and said nothing. Ralph however, eventually broke the silence and said , "what about going to the Principals regarding this issue? Surely they could do something about it if they really wanted to.”

“Hm, that might work,” Applejack said. “Ah mean ah don't know so much about that Principal Tirek fellow as he sure seemsd like he is more focused on holdin power and gettin recognition than actually carin about the well bein of his students, but Vice Principal Celestia sure might give a damn about what's goin on here, even if Sunset does have her wrapped around her finger tighter than a saddle is wrapped around a saddle on a horse.”

“Ok, good, glad I thought about it,” Ralph said. “And on the subject of telling people in authority about this issue, what about talking to that teacher of the class Pocket Pair shares with Sunset,  Miss Cheerilee I think her name was... After all, she was the one who gave Sunset detention today, surely she must not think she's a pure and innocent angel who can do no wrong like most of the rest of the school does.”

“Ah don’t see any reason why not,” Applejack said. “Ah mean after all, the more people we tell about this, the more likely someone is to actually try and do something about it when we tell em. And besides, as you said Miss Cheerilee gave Sunset detention today,  so if anyone is likely to believe us at face value when we tell them about Sunset's evil plot it's definately her! Ah just hope she believes the MAGNITUDE of what Sunset is planning when we talk to her all about it and doesn't just brush it off."

“Well, whatever she does, I think I've already contributed my part on this issue.” Ralph said, “After all, I just suggested three people we could tell about this issue tomorrow and I think that more than qualifies as helping out Pocket Pair. Certainly that is enough to call it a night and actually order some food isn't it Applejack?"

“Fine, ah guess it is." Applejack said, "Ah mean sure ah wish we could do more but ah think tellin those in charge is definately the right place to start attackin the issue."

"Good," Ralph said, "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to get me a strawberry milkshake," before he raised his hand and got the attention of Pinkie Pie. "Hey, miss, we need to be served."

"Ralph, wait don't," Applejack interjected, but it was futile as Pinkie had already seen his waving and was on her way over.

"Hey," she said angrily to Applejack as she returned to the table, "There wasn't a balloon over there, just 13 cents and a lllipop on the floor, a cheery one if my taste buds say so."

Applejack rolling her eyes, turned to Ralph and said "Can ya'll just get yer order already Ralph?"

"Ok, sure," Ralph said turning towards Pinkie Pie. "I'll take one strawberry shake, over easy please."

"Okie dokey lokey," Pinkie said before she bounded over to the counter and hopped over it in one leap. She then fumbled around behind the counter for a bit presumably making a milkshake although by the noises being made Ralph and Applejack were skeptical, before she proceeded to hop back over the counter, bound over to Ralph and Applejack, and present them with a half empty glass full of strawberry milkshake. "Here you are, one strawberry milkshake" she said smiling.

"Hey," Ralph said he looked at the shake as she put the shake down in front of them, "This shake is half empty!"

“Hmm, is that so?” Pinkie said picking it up and looking at it for a second, before saying, “I'm going to respectfully disagree with you on that opinion. It's not half empty, it's half full!"

“What are you saying?" Ralph said, "It's half empty, because half of the glss which SHOULD be filled with liquid is instead filled with gaseous air!"

“Well there’s your problem,” Pinkie Pie said, “you’re just a negative nelly , always looking at the glass hald empty. You should seriously start thinking about life more positively mister.”

“Ok, let me reiterate myself," Ralph said, quickly losing patience, "why is half of the glass, which SHOULD be filled with milkshake, instead filled with nothing but air?"

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Pinkie said, “It’s just that the freezer hasn’t been working lately so I  wasn't sure if your shake was cold enough for you to drink.  So I decided to test it out and see if it WAS cold enough and took a big long sip from your glass, and I thought it was cold enough because my head immediately started hurting and I thought it was brain freeze, but I wasn't sure so the only way to find out was to take enough big long sip and see if the feeling got worse, and so I took another sip and it did get worse and I was like oh boy, this shake is cold enough, but then my head hurt so bad from the brain freeze I had to do something about it, so I found a big bottle of tabasco sauce and I..."

“Ok, we get it,” Ralph said “Just... just go and refill the milkshake glass and please stop being so random."

“Ok, sure, can do” Pinkie said, “and she picked up the shake and turned around to take them to the counter. However, before she got anywhere she suddenly gasped and said "Hey, wait a minute! I know where I know you from!" Pinkie said turning to face Applejack.

"Ah most certainly think ya DON'T!," Applejack said turning her head down.

"I most certainly think I DO," Pinkie retorted, "You’re Applejack. One of the girls I used to hang out with freshman year!”

“Friends... freshman year," Applejack said nervously, "ah’m sorry, but ah'v never seen ya before in mah life. Ya'll must have the wrong person."

“No, I’m pretty sure I DON'T,” Pinkie Pie said. “I NEVER forget faces, at least not unless I eat too much candy, but even then my memory loss only lasts about an hour, and I haven't eaten any candy since I ate sixteen bags of M&M's before my shift started. SO I'm pretty sure I'm right when I say you're Applejack, one of four girls I used to hang out with Freshman yer, the others being Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash. We all used to be very good friends," Pinkie said giddily, before her eyes narrowed and she said, "At least until the Spring Fling, when you decided to run for Princess of the Spring Fling, and then you..."

“PINKIE PIE, SHUT IT,” Applejack said snapped at her angrily. “AINT NONE OF THAT STUFF YA'LL ARE SAYIN APPLIES TO ME BECAUSE AH AINT APPLEJACK, SO WILL YA'LL JUST GET THE DAMN MILKSHAKE AND LEAVE ME ALONE?"

“Oh,  so THAT’S how it's gonna be huh?” Pinkie said, “you’re gonna lie now?  Try and play innocent because you don't want to take the heat... The old Applejack would never EVER lie... I'm glad to see you’ve changed so much for the better AJ.”

“HEY,” Applejack snapped, “Ya'll are NOT a close friend so ya'll do NOT refer to me as AJ! THe name's Applejack to you, and ah want ya'll to refer to me as that from now on... ah mean... ah horseapples!" she said suddenly realizing she blew her cover.

“HA,I told you, you ARE Applejack, I KNEW IT!" Pinkie exclaimed. 

“Ok fine, so ya'll knew who ah was! Good for you!" Applejack said angrily. “ya'll will  have to forgive me fer bein skeptical a little earlier, it's just that ya'll always seemed one too many bolts short of a John Deere tractor to even remember what you had fer lunch the day before, let alone a bunch of specific details about a supposed frienddship from Freshman year.”

“HEY, THAT'S MEAN!,” Pinkie shouted. 

“oh AH’M sorry," Applejack said sarcastically, "It's just ah thought it was OK for people to be mean in relationships around here. After all, YOU and YOU FRIENDS were the one who all abandonded me in mah time of need like a bunch of backstabin FAGGOTS!"

“What?!" Pinkie shouted, "We abandoned YOU? YOU LIAR, we weren't the ones who abandoned YOU, you were..." but she quickly stopped shouting as her phone rang in her pocket. “Oh" she said suddenly more giddy, "This is for me,  excuse me for a minute will you?" she said before she opened her phone and accepted the call. “hi, this is Sugarcube corner, the best place to grab a tasty treat in the town of Canterlot,what would you like today?........Yes this is Pinkie Pie head of the party planning committee speaking, who is this?..... Wait, did I hear your name right, it sounded like your name was some sort of fruit and I just want to make sure my appetitie isn't making me delirious….ok, that's what I thought you said, just wanted to make sure. Hey, since we're talking  about fruits, have you ever considered changing your last name from pear to kumquat? Doesn’t that word just roll off the tongue nicely? Kumquat kumquat KUMQUAT!..... oh, yes I have clown costumes, why do you need them? Are you planning some sort of special spooky Halloween party? Can I come!...... a disguise? Are you playing hide and seek or something? Can I be it? I always do much love to be it!.......oh, hiding from Sunset Shimmer? Well a clown suit isn’t going to protect you from her silly, she’ll see right through your attempt to hide from her in an instant……ok, I’ll bring them anyways, but I still think you're making a mistake. Where should I meet you with the supplies and when?....... yes, I’m free before school tomorrow, and yes I can bring them to you then. Just one question, when you say you want to meet in the dimly lit dead end hallway, do you mean the one that the janitor Discord never fixes the lights in because he claims it’s saving energy and protecting the planet, but REALLY  its’ because he likes dressing up as monsters and scaring people in the hallway just to get a good laugh at other people's expense?..... ok, just wanted to make sure I had the right dimly lit hallway. I’ll see you there tomorrow with the clown costumes. But in any case right now I have to go, I’m currently in the middle of an argument with someone and I'm TOTALLY winning. See you later, bye!” She said before she hung up and put her phone away.

“Ok, where were we?” she said turning to Applejack, but saw Applejack and Ralph had  paid for their food and left the restaurant in the time she had been talking on the phone. “Humph," she groaned "typical Applejack, running away from things when the heat gets too intense like a scared little bitch. Some things NEVER change….”

………………..

“Phew,” Pocket Pair said as he put his phone away. “glad that worked out so well. With Pinkie Pie bringing the goods tomorrow, I’ll have no reason to worry about Sunset messing me over anymore and can consider myself home free.”

“mow ow,” Princess said.

“Yes this plan will actually work! Since why do my plans NOT work?" Pocket Pair said.

"Mow ow," Princess said.

“Ok, so maybe my girlfriend plan didn't work out as good as planned..." Pocket Pair said. 

“mow ow,” Princess said.

"Ok, it failed miserably!" Pocket Pair said, "But this plan won't fail miserably. And besides, considering the fact that my parents didn't listen to me and agree to help me out of this, it's not like I have much of a choice as to what I decide to do now do I? This plan will work... it has to. And now that all that is sorted out, I can finally relax a little. And what better way to relax, than to play a good old poker tournament on PokerStars.net!" He said before he got on his computer and logged into the software. After doing so, he played for a few hours before he got tired, turned off the computer, and quickly fell into a relief-filled sleep next to his cat Princess.
> Defensive strategies
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ralph entered the lobby of Canterlot high school and looked around. “Crimeny, where is that girl?”  he said. “I mean jeez, she was willin to get in a barney with me about getting here early yesterday, and yet now she isn’t here when I am? I swear, if she wasn't so hot i'd be about to get very hot under the collar at her right now.”

Just then, Applejack ran inside the building and started skidding to a halt upon noticing Ralph, She quickly slowd and came to a stop right next to him. “Heh, well look who's actually here. Ah'm surprised ya actually are on time fer once. ” Applejack said.

“Oh really, and why are you so surprised by that lass?” Ralph said. “I mean after all, when you’re around, I find it almost impossible not to come early.”

Applejack, her eyes quickly narrowing at that remark, said "Ralph, ah swear if ya make ONE more remark like that..."

"What?" Ralph said taken aback at her anger, , "It's the honest truth aout what I think. And after all,  I would think you of all people would know the importance of honesty, Applejack."

"Oh, y'all want honesty do ya?" Applejack said annoyed, "Well  my HONEST opinion is that this aint no time to be making classless jokes about me bein hot. Need ah remind you of the gravity of the situation at hand?”

"Oh I’m sure Pocket Pair will be fine,  he’s a smart lad after all“  Ralph said annoyed , "Honestly, I still don't get why you feel so compelled to help him out like this. He's such an asshole all the time and I think it's high time he learned that there are consequences for acting like that."

Applejack, groaning, said "Ok, yes.. ah will admit, sometimes P Pair can be a bit of an asshole. But he also does a lot of good things too… just take what he did for Derpy yesterday. And besides, eve if he didn’t do those that still don’t mean he deserves to be humiliated in front of the entire school. Plus this whole thing is just as much your fault as his! You were the one who started that stupid bet in the first place! He'd have never even so much as talked to Sunset if ya didn't feel the need to get in a dick swingin' contest with him yesterday"

"Maybe so," Ralph said, "But if I recall Applejack, the bet never said anything about insulting Sunset. All he had to do was ask her out and leave, but yet again, your precious ‘P Pair’ decided no, he was going to get in a fight with her and call her out. This is entirely his fault and you know it."

"Alright, fine. If it’ll shut you up ah’ll say it. Iit is his fault." , Applejack said, "But he's our friend Ralph, and friends don't abandon each other in times of need, even if they have made a huge mistake like pissin’ off that bitch Sunset Shimmer.”

“Pff, whatever,” Ralph muttered under his breath before Applejack continued talking.

“So, like a good friend,” Applejack said sternly, “Y’all are gonna go to Principal Tirek and Vice Principal Celestia and tell them what’s goin on while ah find Miss Cheerilee. GOT IT!?"

"Ugh fine,“ Ralph said while beginning to walk away. As he did, he muttered under his breath "Wish
she'd fucking stop kissing his ass, maybe then I could actually make some real progress on both of them for once..."

Applejack, rolling her eyes and squeezing her fists tight said " UGh, ah swear. That boy really gets on mah nerves sometimes. Yes, ah know P Pair has an attitude problem sometimes, but ah don’t think he’s doin it to site us like Ralph claims. And even if he did sometimes  that aint no reason to go and throw him under the bus. If Ralph would stop thinkin with his dick for two seconds maybe he would realize that." As she said that last remark, she suddenly noticed Cheerilee walk into the school and head her way. "Oh well, enough stinkin' thinkin', ah got more important things to worry about right now," she said, before she whistled and said "Excuse me, Miss Cheerilee! Can ah talk to ya for a minute?"

Miss Cheerilee, upon hearing her, stiffened up, stopped walking, turned towards her with a forced smile. “Sure, it’s not like I have places to be right now…” she said snarkily.

"Umm..." Applejack said, trying to think of how to word what she wanted to say.

"If it's alright with you, I would like to know sooner rather than later." Cheerilee said irritated, "I do have a class I need to get set up for soon..."

"Well," Applejack said, finally speaking "That's actually what ah want to talk to you about. Sunset Shimmer is in your first class of the day, correct?"

“Yes, that’s right” Miss Cheerilee said rolling her eyes.

“Well,” applejak said ignoring her eye roll, “could ya maybe keep on eye on her for awhile. She got into a huge altercation with one of mah friends yesterday after school and said she was gonna get him back for the troube. And since he's in your first class too ah figure that  if she’s gnna strike that might be a likely time for it."

"Wait, really?” Cheerilee said, suddenly more concerned, “Are you sure Sunset would do something like that?”

Applejack, irritated, said “She picked on Derpy yesterday over a misplaced muffing didn’t she?”,  

“Fair point,” Cheerilee said, “And it would make sense for her to do something in my class considering how he’s in it as well. Ok, I’ll keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t step out of line. Now tell me, what does your friend look like.  I need to know who to keep an eye out for."

“Well, his name is Pocket Pair, and he has blonde hair, wears glasses, and .... oh my gosh, what the HAY is he wearing?" Applejack said pointing down the hallway past Cheerilee.

Cheerilee, surprised at her remark,  turned towards where she was pointing in response, and her eyes widened as she noticed Pocket Pair wearing an overcoat and looking around suspiciously near the entrance of the school. After doing so a couple times, and seeming content with his surroundings, he turned and began walking away from them towards the far corner of their hall.

"Well... at least I know what he looks like now." Cheerilee said still looking on confused as he rounded a corner and disappeared from sight. "So with that knowledge, I'll make sure to note if Sunset does anything to give him a hard time.”

"Thanks a bundle Miss Cheerilee." Applejack said. "Ya'll have no idea how relieved ah am to hear that."

"You're welcome," Miss Cheerilee replied, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to class to set up today's lesson plan. Knowledge wait for now one. Have a good morning Applejack" She then turned away from Applejack and began walking the opposite way of where Pocket Pair had just gone.

"Alright, thanks again" Applejack said after her, before turning towards where Pocket Pair had gone and saying to herself "And meanwhile, ah have to find out what the jumpin' june bugs that guy is up to," before she began briskly walking down the hallway after him.

…………………..

Pocket Pair was walking down a hallway near the back of the school, and a he turned a corner he saw the dimly lit dead end hallway he was seeking come into view in front of him. "Alright, here it is,"He said to himself, "The poorly lit dead end hallway which Discord intentionally dims the lights on to scare the unaware. Let's just hope Pinkie Pie keeps her end of the bargain...," before  he then took a deep breath, and walked towards the dimly lit hallway ahead of him. Upon reaching it, he walked into it and began looking around to see if Pinkie Pie was anywhere. “Now where is that girl at. She better show soon because the longer she takes the more likely it is Sunset will see me before I can get my disguise setup and everything will go to piss.” He then noticed a dark figure standing towards the end of the hall, and said.  “Pinkie, is that you? Do you have the box?”  The figure did not respond, but instead turned towards Pocket Pair and began menacingly walking towards him, showing him clearly it was wearing a hockey mask like Jason Vorhees'."Pinkie Pie? If this is a prank it's not funny" he said nervously beginning to step back. The figure again said nothing, but instead cackled, and pulled out something which in the dim light Pocket Pair thought was some kind of blade. "oh my GOD. IT’S JASON!!! AAAAHHHHH! ” Pocket Pair shouted and turned to run away as fast as he could. However, before he got very far, a familiar laughter behind him stopped him in his tracks.

“AH HA HA HA HA, oh you should have seen the look on your face. PRICELESS!!!" The person in the mask said laughing as they took it off.

Pocket Pair, turning around to face the figure with rage in his eyes, replied "DISCORD, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! That was YOU?!?!?!"

“Oh ho ho, it was indeed” Discord said, while thrusting the supposed blade forward so it caught the light and clearly showed it was just a ruler. “Tell me poker boy, did my prank get all-in your head?" Discord taunted gleefully.


"What the heck is that supposed to mean?!" Pocket Pair said, confused and angry.

"Oh you know, all-in. As in a poker all-in.." Discord said smugly. "I figured what with your interest in poker you would have gotten my little joke. Aren't I such a ‘card’?' " Discord continued before laughing at his own joke again.

"UGH..." Pocket Pair said angrily, before he replied, "yes, yes you are a card. In fact, if asses were the fifth suit in the deck i'd say you look just like the jack of asses."

“Hmm, I honestly expected a better comeback from you…” discord said scratching his chin.  “Did that overcoat cause you to sweat out too much water and get dehydrated so your think more fuzzy?." Discord said. “And on that note, why are you wearing an overcoat in August anyways? It's over 75 outside now!"

"No it didn't" Pocket Pair replied defiantly, "And why do you care what i'm wearing? Surely with your love for chaos you have worn clothing that doesn’t fit the weather before?"

" Yes, I have," Discord replied flatly, "But right now we're not talking about me, we're talking about YOU, and I'm asking YOU why you're wearing that on such a hot day!"

“Well,” Pocket Pair said, “If you must know, I'm wearing this because I'm meeting a girl in secret and don't want everyone to know who I am. So if you don’t mind..." he said, but was quickly cut off by Discord

“Oh, really?” Discord said shocked, “I didn't know you had a girlfriend! Do tell..."

"I... don't" Pocket Pair sadly, "Well at least not yet anyways..."

"Oh hoh ho, so you have a crush then?," Discord said pulling a small box of popcorn out of a nearby locker, reaching in, and taking a bite from it.

"... If I tell you will you stop bothering me?" Pocket Pair said.

"I promise," Discord said holding one hand behind his back and crossing his fingers.
“Without hiding a hand behind your back…” Pocket Pir said sternly.


“Oh alright,” Discord said putting the popcorn down and holding both hands out in front of him to show his uncrossed fingers. 

Pocket Pair, after sighing, then said, "Ok. The girl 'm interested in is pretty, very pretty actually. She always dresses in the latest fashion and I love the way her dresses hug her body in all the right ways. Her hair is curly, and it has the most amazing color of purple. Her eyes are as blue as sapphires. The perfume she wears smells so sweet, and sometimes when I have extra time I walk the long way so I know we'll cross paths and I can catch just one whiff." He then sighed and said "All in all,  you could say she's a true Rarity, and she's the ONLY one I want to have by my side..." he said dreamily, before snapping back to reality and saying " And that’s why I have to meet this person here now. BEcause if I don't, I won't have a chance with her and my dreams will be ruined for good. So if you don't mind..." He said turning away from Discord hoping he'd get the hint to leave.

Again however, Discord stayed put, and replied "Uh.. gag, I think i'm going to be sick after hearing all that cheesy lovey dovey rubbish"

Pocket Pair, offended at his comment, said "It is NOT rubbish. It’s how I really feel. Haven’t you ever felt that way about someone?"

"No,  I have not," Discord said, just the slightest tinge of red showing from his cheeks as he said this.

"Oh REALLY?" Pocket Pair said suspiciously, "Because the way you said that just now makes me think that you aren’t telling the truth right now."

"Well, I’m not," Discord said briefly irritated, before looking at his watch and quickly saying"oh ho ho, I would love to stay and continue discussing this love nonsense but it's half past chaos o' clock so I must be on my way. Ta ta friend" he concluded as he began walking out of the dim hallway faster than usual.

Pocket Pair looked after him suspiciously as he left, before suddenly getting agitated and shouting after him. “HEe we're not friends, we're just ACQUAINTANCES.!"  before he turned away and resumed looking for Pinkie Pie.

Meanwhile, DIscord was still walking briskly away, and rounded a nearby corner. Upon doing so, he say Applejack approaching from ahead of him, and responded by  slowing his pace and getting a malicious smile on his face. HE then walked closed to her and, upon passing her, brushed her Stetson with his hand and 'accidentally' knocked it off her hear. "Oopsie Doopsie," he said obnoxiously as he reached down to get it, "How careless of me.”

"Ugh, Discord," She said angrily grabbing it from his hand and putting it on her head, "That wasn't carelessness a'tall. Ah know ya meant to do that."

"Maybe I did, and maybe I didn't. That's for my chaotic mind to know and yours to not." he said smugly, before saying "But enough about that,  what are you doing here to early?"

"Ugh, if ya must know, ah'm followin' one of mah friends to see what they're up to." Applejack said, hoping to get him out of her hair.

"Oh ho ho, what a coinkeydink," Discord said, "I just ran into that guy you hang out with all the time. Pocket Spare I think he said his name was."

"That's Pocket Pair to you," Applejack said, before her eyes widened in shock and she said “Wait,  where did ya see him, ah need to find him ASAP."

"Oh, and why is that I might ask?" Discord said teasingly, "You finally about to confess your undying love to him."

Applejack, shocked at his statement, hesitated and said "Ah have no idea what ya'll are talkin' about."

"Is that so?" Discord said while using his right index and middle finger to walk his hand along the brim of her hat , "Well, you're always with that Pocket Pair kid so I just assumed..."

"... it aint like that." Applejack said loudly, "HE's just mah good friend, and ah need to find him NOW. Where did ya’ll see him?"

"hahaha, sure it isn't. I believe you. REALLY I do," Discord said with a level of sarcasm few could hope to match as he poked her nose with one of his fingers.

"DISCORD!" Applejack snapped at him while swatting his hand away with one of hers and balling the other one into a fist . "Ah aint fuckin' around here ya consarned faggit. So just tell me where he is already or ah swear ah'll...!

"Woah woah woah, Discord said, suddenly slightly afraid, "Chill out will you? It’s just a bit of teasing, same as I do to everyone

"Well ah AINT in the mood!" Applejack growled at him. “So tell me where he is NOW!!!”

Ugh...  ok, fine, if you must know, he's just around the corner in that dimly lit hallway stub I scare people in." Discord said, before walking away and saying, "Honestly Applejack, you need to watch out
for that temper of yours. I HIGHLY doubt he'll feel the same way about you if you lose your temper this often and easily." a remark that earned him a death glare from Applejack, which he promptly ignored. "Well in any case, I must be on my way, toodloo.. Applejack... " He said waving behind him before he turned away and left her behind.

Applejack rolled her eyes at him as he left and said, "Ugh, sometimes ah just wanna smack that joker, " before she shook her head and then walked toward the corner Discord came from. Upon reaching it, she peeked her head around it to see Pocket Pair nervously looking around in the dead end. “Heh, well at least he was tellin' the truth about P Pair bein’ there… but what in the hay is he doin’ in that hallway anyways?” Applejack said, before she noticed a very familiar pink haired student carrying a box round a corner  nearer to the dead end before walking into it.  "Wait, Pinkie PIE!!? What in hay is she doing here?" she said looking on  in shock as Pinkie walked up to Pocket Pair.

Meanwhile, Pocket Pair, noticing Pinkie Pie,  turned towards Pinkie and said “Well it's about time. Are you Pinkie Pie?”

“Yep, that's me,” Pinkie said. “are you that guy who has that weird name based off of a type of hand in poker I was supposed to meet in this spoooky hallway?”

“Yes, that would be me.... hey, wait a minute,  my name is NOT weird!!!! It's awesome" Pocket Pair said angrily.

“Uh, it kind of is weird no offense,” Pinkie said matter of fact, “I mean come on, hello! Who names their kid Pocket Pair? YOu don’t look like a Pocket Pair at all, if anything I think your name should be Victor."

Pocket Pair, shocked at her mentioning that name, shook his head and said "Oh yeah, and your name isn’t weird?" Pocket Pair said snarkily. “I mean Pocket Pair at least describes something real, Pinkie Pie is just… nonsense.” 

"Touche... touche," Pinkie said tapping her chin," But that still doesn't change the fact that Pocket Pair is an unusual name. I mean come on,  it's almost as unusual as finding out that someone made a  smoke weed everyday remix to the vampire maze from that educational game jumpstart 4th grade.”

“Um, actually,” Pocket Pair said, thinking of a video he had just created…



“you know what nevermind, let me just have the box already.”

“Okie dokey loki,” Pinkie said, “though I really don’t get why there is so much secrecy in this. I mean it’s just a clown costume, it’s not like I’m giving you my cocaine stash or anything.”

“Because, if Sunset sees me getting the clown costume… then my disguise will,” Pocket Pair explained, before hi eyes widened and said “Wait, WHAT? You do coke?” 

“Duhh, how do you think I stay so hyper all the time,” Pinkie said matter of fact.

“uh,” Pocket Pair said incredulous,  before Pinkie burst into hysterical laughter.

“Hehehe oh come on, don’t tell me you actually believed that stuff about me doing coke,” Pinkie said. “I may be hyper and all but I’m not stupid enough to actually tell which drugs I do."

"Oh, alright, well… WAIT, you actually DO have drug habits?" Pocket Pair said taken aback again, before another laugh from Pinkie took him by surprise.

"HEHEHE oh come on, don't tell me you fell for that too." Pinkie Pie said.  "You're too gullible, you know that."

Pocket Pair, irritated, said "Ok, wait a minute. Just for the record, you DON’T do drugs."

"Nope," Pinkie said, "Well maybe caffeine from the energy drinks I have everyday.” the thought of the hyper Pinkie drinking caffeine making Pocket Pair wince, before Pinkie Pie continued, “However, even though I don’t do drugs, I do like those snoop dogg remixes people make to songs where they pitch shift the words smoke weed everyday to fit the notes played. I mean come on, those are too funny to ignore." She then stopped talking for a moment and thought before saying "Hey, wait a minute, I just thought of something. Why are you using a clown disguise to hide from Sunset Shimmer anyways? That's stupid. She'll see right through it. You should just go to the principal and let them handle it instead.”

“Uh, Thanks, but no thanks,” Pocket Pair said, “I can handle it myself. And besides, it’s not like the principals would actually do anything if I told them anyways…”

“Oh come on,” Pinkie said, “of course they would silly. I mean it’s not like this is some online fanfiction in which the rules and restrictions of real life such as bullies getting in trouble for making threats and  and authorities taking action against them for said threats doesn't happen for plot convenience among other reasons.”

“Uh, what was that now?” Pocket Pair said confused as all hell.

“You know, fanfiction,” Pinkie said, “user written content which is created by fans of a particular show because they want to see the characters of said show engage in activities beyond what the show made them do. These include but are not limited to romances, sex fics, and also many more romances because let's face it, most of the fanfiction written has some sort of shipping of the main characters of the shows of interest in it.  In addition, like so many Hollywood motion pictures, some fanfictions tend to have authorities which don’t take proper action when obvious trouble is taking place so as to allow the antagonist to continue their iron grip on the protagonist until the protagonist is driven to stand up to them. *GASP* Hey, do you think maybe I’m a fanfiction character, maybe one based off a pony in a children’s show who has a princess of friendship for a friend and whose target audience is young girls but for some reason is watched by a large group of older males as well? Because let me tell you , that would be awesome if I were!”

“Umm…… sure,,” Pocket Pair said. “but anyways, how about my box?”

“Oh, ok, her you go,” Pinkie said handing it to him, “b\But let me tell you, Sunset is never going to be fooled by that for a second. If I were you, I’d tell Principal Tirek, vice Principal Celestia and intern principal Luna what’s going on. Especially since my right ear is twitching and that means that a major event is likely to happen to you in the near future.”

“Uh, huh, sure, and I’m the pope,” Pocket Pair said rolling his eyes.

“Hey, don’t be sarcastic,” Pinkie said, “this is serious! When my Pinkie sense sets me a twitchin' you better listen!"

“Aaaand supposing I actually believed you... what the fuck is a Pinkie sense anyways?” Pocket Pair said sarcastically.

“Well,” Pinkie said, “when certain parts of my body twitch, it lets me know certain things are about to happen. Like for example, when my right arm twitches, that means something’s about to fall.” Right then, as if on cue, her right arm twitched and she pulled Pocket Pair aside just as a fluorescent light bulb fell from the ceiling and shattered on the floor where he had been standing.


"Wha.. how did you..." Pocket Pair wondered aloud before Pinkie cut him off and kept talking.

“When my left arm twitches,” Pinkie said, it means It’s my lucky day, when my right leg twitches, it means I forgot to tell someone my contact information, and when my right ear twitches, ” she said before she stopped moving and showed it was indeed twitching,  “It means a doozy is about to occur. And I think that doozy is Sunset ruining your newfound reputation for standing up for Derpy.”

Pocket Pair, still shocked from Pinkie predicting two things right, shook his said and said “Yeah... I think I'm just going to go now if that's alright with you?"  Before he took the box.

“HEh, fine, suit yourself, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Pinkie said before bounding away and starting to leave the hallway. However, before she could round the nearby corner closest to the dead end, she turned around and said "You know what, I like you. You actually listen to me instead of just telling me to shut up like a big meanie pants like everyone else when I ramble on about things like my Pinkie sense and my wanting to be a fanfiction character. If Sunset doesn't totally destroy you and thus make it impossible, I think we could be really good friends. See you around Pocket Pair." She said before she rounded the corner and left his sight.

"Hey, we're not friends, we're just ACQUAINTANCES!" He shouted after her, before shaking his head in frustration and starting to open the box she gave him.

Applejack, still watching, rolled her eyes and muttering to herself "Pinkie Pie, you are SO random,“ before she looked at Pocket Pair and his box and said "Now what the hay is he gonna do with that clown costume? Give it to Sunset as a peace offering?" before her eyes widened with horror as she saw him begin to put it on. "OH no, tell me he isn't..." she said to herself before he interrupted he
monologue.

"There we go, Pocket Pair is no more," Pocket Pair said, "From now on... IIIIIII'MMMM Dick The CLOWNNNN!!!" The last part said in a strangely monotone voice. "And since Sunset doesn't know I am Dick The Clown, I won't have to worry about her ruining my life any more. Bag, this plan is super swell!!!" he concluded, before he left the hallway and rounded the corner Pinkie Pie had used to leave.

Applejack, facepalming at his stupidity, said "Yes, he is. Mah gosh what a terrible plan. When Sunset sees him in that costume there'll be no shortage of stuff for her to use against him to exact his revenge. And all it would take is one picture of his Dick The Clown to completely ruin the fame he got for defending Derpy against Sunset. And on that note, who in the hay is Dick The Clown anyways?" before she shook her head in frustration and said "Well no matter, ah gotta get to the principals and fast. I'd trust Ralph, but for one.... he's Ralph, and for another, this is far worse than I could have ever imagined." before she quickly turned around and  began walking towards the principal's office. 

> one plan dies, another is born
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few minutes before class was scheduled to start, Sunset Shimmer walked into Miss Cheerilee’s classroom and began looking around for Snips and Snails. “Ugh, where are those two?” she said. “We have very important business to discuss, and they were supposed to be here by now!”

At that moment, as if on cue, Snips and Snails rushed into the classroom and begn slowing down, skiding to a stop next to Sunset. 

"Heya Sunset," Snips said


“There you are!,” Sunset snapped, “Ten minutes AFTER I told you to arrive. You two had better have a very good excuse as to why you're so late right now..."

“Uh, well, we have an excuse, but....” Snips said. 

"But WHAT?" Sunset said getting in his face.

"Well, we’re not so sure you're going to like it..." Snails said. 

Sunset, her eyes widening with disgust, said "Oh no, tell me you didn’t ‘have fun' with yourself in the bathrooms again?" 

"Ok, we won’t tell you" Snails said, before Snips elbowed him hard in response.

Sunset, rolling her eyes, said “EWWWW. Can't you control your urges AT ALL??”

“Well we could, but it’s more enjoyable not to,” Snails said.

Sunset, rolling her eyes, said "Oh well whatever. Right now we have more serious issues to focus on so I’m just going to let this issue drop.... for now.”

“Oh ho, do this serious issues have to do with getting revenge on that imp Pocket Pair that stood up to you yesterday?" Snips said gleefully, “because if so I have a plan that will knock his socks off."


“No, there’s no time for that,” Sunset said, before she raised one eyebrow and said "Hey, since when do YOU have plans Snips?"

"Since last Thursday," Snips said proudly. "Am I not the greatest lackey of all time miss Shimmer?"

"Hooray for your lackies," Snails said.

Sunset, rolling her eyes, said "Ugh, whatever, regardless of whatever pitiful plan you've come up with Snips, it’ll have to wait. Right now we have bigger fish to fry than one lone guy who yelle at me in the hallways with no one around to see it except his simple minded friend. Namely the fact that I WILL lose the fall formal if I don’t do something about my popularity plunge ASAP.”

“Oh come on Sunset,” Snips said, “Do you ever focus on anything besides the fall formal?  I know you want to win and all, but is that  really worth passing on  great revenge plan by yours truly? “

“Ok, first of all, I HIGHLY doubt your plan is great,” Sunset snapped at him, “and second, even if it were, I have to focus on the fall formal. If we don’t take action now to ensure I win I’m going to be totally screwed!”

“But why,” Snips said confused, “I mean sure your popularity is at an all time low and everyone hates you, but no one’s even running against you so you can’t possibly…”


“YOU IDIOT!” Sunset exclaimed slamming her fist on the desk. “Didn’t you hear Diamond Tiara yesterday, she said herself she was going to run against me! Or were you too buy fantasizing about banging her again to hear that!?”


“Uhhh,... no” Snips said as his face turned beet red, before he regained his composure and said “but even if she did say that, she was probably just bluffing.”

“And what if she’s NOT bluffing,” Sunset said angrily. 

“If she’s not bluffing, just do what you did to that last person who ran against you.” Snips replied cooly, “then she’ll drop out within a couple days and you’ll quickly be unopposed again.” 

“Idiot,” Sunset said angrily, “Last time the person who ran against me was some backwater hick who had no reputation in this school and who I had no trouble keeping that way. This is DIAMOND TIARA we’re talking about, one of the most popular students in the school! She won’t be so easy to stymie if she tries to run against me. Not to mention that considering how much ALL of the popular students want to be on top others will surely sign up against me too if I wait too long.”

“So just blackmail em or humiliate them then” Snips said, “It worked with that one girl, why wouldn’t it work here?”


“I got LUCKY it worked last time,” Sunset replied, “Need i remind you the only reason she pulled out was because she had a crush on her best friend and I was able to use that to dismantle any motivation she had to continue her bid against me. If that hadn’t happened, she WOULD have beaten me, and knowing that fact I have NO intention of just sitting on my ass now and letting someone else get that close to taking me down! So now do you understand why it is so important and why we must do something immediately!”

“UGH, Yes Miss Shimmer." Snips said, before grumbling at having to spend his morning on this crusade.

"Aye aye Sunset”  Snails said.

"Good,” Sunset said, “And now that that’s out of the way, we’re going to   think of a way to revive my popularity, starting now" she stated, before they all began to think of potential counter-measures to er popularity slump.

All was silent for a few moments, but this was broken when Snips' eyes lit up and he said “oh, I know.”

Sunset then glared at them and said, “Tell me, does this in any way shape or form involve you and Snails having sex with me?”

“Ummm…” Snips said sheepishly. 

“Ugh,” Sunset said slamming her fist on the desk, “Will you to ever stop with trying to goad me into having sex with me?  I mean really, I know you two are incapabe of thinking of anything else, but why does it always have to involve me? What do you think I am anyways? Some cheap whore?"

"Well, actually... “ Snails started.

“Don’t you DARE finish that sentence,” Sunset said getting in his face.

“He he, yes Miss Shimmer,” Snails said leaning away from her nervously. 

"Ok” Sunset said leaning away again, “Now let's get back to thinking, and I don’t want to hear another word from you unless sex with me isn’t involved in the plan."

The three of them then stopped talking again and began thinking some more. However, the silence was once again short lived, as Snips’ eyes lit up and he said, “Ooh, I know.”

“Does it involve you having sex?” Sunset said sternly.

“Well… yes, but with Rarity this time, not with you!” Snips said. 

Sunset, facepalming, then said "UGh, and just how would you and Rarity having sex benefit ME in ANY WAY?”

"Uh.... I dunno," Snips said shrugging.

"Do you ever know ANYTHING?”" Sunset angrily said, "I swear, they don’t make lackies like they used to.” she said rubbing her temples. “Now I want us to get back to thinking, and I don’t want ANY more plans unless sex is not involved in any way, shape, OR FORM! Capiche?”

“Yes Miss Shimmer,” they both said, before they again fell into silence. 

Yet again though, the silence was short lived, as this time Snails’ eyes lit up and he said "Ooh ooh, I know!"

"What is it THIS TIME," Sunset said becoming enraged.


"Well, remember how Pocket Pair suggested you taking him under your wing yesterday?” Snails said.

“Of course I do, though admittedly I’m shocked YOU remember that.” Sunset said snarkily.

“Well,” Snails said ignoring her insult, “You should totally take him up on his offer. That way, people would see you two together and get the impression you do care about the other students, and that would do a lot to undo the damage to your reputation which was caused by you yelling at Derpy yesterday.”


"UGH, Snails… what the hell!” Sunet said getting in his face, “That idea is extremely, exceptionally, exceedingly…” , before her eyes lit up and she sat upright. “....Brilliant!” she concluded. 

“What’s brilliant mean?” Snails asked.

Sunset, ignoring his question, said “If we put that plan into action, I could easily undo most of the damage to my reputation by the end of this week!” She then got her trademark malicious smile and said  “All we need is a few pictures of him and me being friendly and to masterfully distribute them round school and social media, and the fall formal will be as good as mine!"

"Uh huh, and he's in this class too”  Snails added, “so you could talk to him today!”

"...You’re right.” Sunset said, “Snails, you might just be smarter than I gave you credit for,”, before noting the clueless look in hits eyes and adding, “if only slightly.”

"No, probably not," Snails replied.

Sunset, looking around, said "Well whatever, once Pocket Pair gets here, I'll go up and talk to him, and then”... she said, but he quickly lost her train of thought and her eyes widened as Pocket Pair entered the room wearing his clown costume. "

“Hello Sunset, er um I mean hello random pretty girl whose name I don’t know yet,” the disguised Pocket Pair said in a monotone voice. “My name is Richard T. C. McDonald, better known as Dick The Clown! I am a new foreign exchange student from the eastern country of Drewland, and I am so excited to get to learning about the swell intricacies of the english language, ha ha ha huh ha hemaha. Bag, that was swell."  He said before he walked to the back of the classroom and took his seat. 

Sunset, still wide eyed and shocked for a couple seconds, then began to chuckle, and then quickly burst into uncontrollable laughter, as did Snips and Snails. “hahahahahahahah” Sunset laughed uncontrollably, “what the actual FUCK is he wearing?  I mean sure he was a clown before, but MAN that takes the cake!”

“Yeah,” Snips said as his laughter began to die down, “And what’s more, he just made our revenge SO easy.” He then whipped out his cell phone and said “Just say the word and we’ll make this clown getup viral and ruin his reputation. That'll teach him to mess with the great and powerful Sunset.”

"Hey, Trixie resents that description," a blue skinned light blue haired girl named Trixie said as she entered the room and sat down.  

Sunset, ignoring Trixie's comment, grabbed Snips' phone and took it from him before saying "Not this time, we need his reputation intact for this to work."

“WHAT, but why,” Snips said, “He stepped out of line and needs to pay, and this is the perfect opportunity to humiliate him for it!"

"And what if someone traces it to us?" Sunset said in response, “Then I’ll NEVER repair the damage to my reputation!” 

"They WON'T trace it," Snips said taking the phone back and reaching up to try and take a picture with it again.

"Would you STOP IT!" Sunset said pushing the phone down against the desk. "Even if they don't prove it 100%, we're still going to be a top suspect, especially with what happened 
yesterday. And if any more rumors of those types of things get circulating I’m SCREWED! I of all people should know how that works considering that i’ve done it to others countless times!."

"Well, what do you want us to do then?" Snails asked.

"Just hang back and do nothing. I got this all under control on my own.” Sunset said, before she got up and began walking over to Dick the Clown aka Pocket Pair. 

Pocket Pair, seeing her coming, nervously picked up his textbook and pretended to read it. “oh my, I before e except after c. Bag the english language is swell,” he said in a monotone voice, hoping Sunset would think he was busy and leave him alone.


Sunset, however, kept walking up to him, and upon reaching him, put her hand on the book and pushed it down on the desk. “Hey there Pocket Pair, what’s up?”

“Who is this Pocket Pair guy you speak of?” Pocket Pair said monotonously. “I am Richard T. C. Mcdonald, the older brother of McDonalds’ mascot Ronald Mcdonald. If you want to talk to Pocket Pair you’ll have to look elsewhere. Ha ha ha huh ha hemaha. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some swell english to learn” He said before he tried to pick up the book again and continue reading.

“Uh huh, sure, and I’m the pope” Sunset said. 

“You are,” Pocket Pair said, before putting his book down,  getting up, and bowing. “it is an honor to be in the presence of such royalty” he said before he sat back down and picked up the boo again. 

“I was being SARCASTIC, ” Sunset said annoyed. “now how about you stop pretending to read and pay attention to me, I need to talk to you about what happened yesterday."

Pocket Pair, gulping, said “pretending? Who’s pretending. I am really reading some swell english lessons from this super swell book.”

“Uh huh, sure,” Sunset said snatching the book from him. “by the way ‘dick the clown’, mind sharing with me how you were ‘reading’ this book when it was UPSIDE DOWN?!”

“Oh, It ws upside down?” Pocket Pair chuckled nervously, “Well then  I guess it’s a good thing I’m taking reading this semester now isn’t it? hehehe”

“Yes, I guess it is” Sunset said smugly, “Now tell me, are you also taking acting this semester?"

"UH, no," Pocket Pair said monotonously.

"Well that's too bad, because you REALLY need some lessons," Sunset said, before she reached out, grabbed his wig, and yanked it off his head.”

“OHHHHHHHHH,” Pocket Pair said monotonously, “you monster, I am in so much pain in my glavin!"

"Hey, glavin is MY catch phase." Frink said walking into the room.

Sunset, ignoring Frink's remark, said with false concern "Oh you POOR baby, I hope thatdidn;t hurt too bad?  Oh wait, I KNOW it didn’t,  because this is a WIG!!!“ Sunset said pointing to the still present price tag on the wig she just removed. 

“OH FUCK! I mean….” Pocket Pair said, briefly losing his monotone voice before recomosing himself and getting it back. "I mean oh fuck, you got me. I am actually bald, hence why I wear a wig. I just didn't tell you because I am conscious about how I look."

“Oh is that so?” Sunset said smartly, before she grabbed the zipper on his clown suit and unzipped it, revealing a shirt under it that said ‘I’m all in’. “And yet you are wearing a tacky shirt 
which shows a cliche overused poker saying. Hmm, I guess you aren't all that conscious about your looks after all now are you.... Pocket Pair!"

“Well, I you see,” Pocket Pair said monotonously, before he realized he was fucked and his eyes widened in fear. He then got down on his knees, and said "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I never meant to yell at you yesterday. Please don’t hurt ME!!!”


Sunset, content her plan was falling into place, but wanting to have some fun before proceeding, smiled smugly and said "Oh, are you... well I don't know if I believe you..."

"Well you HAVE to," Pocket Pair said, "please, just let me off the hook this once and I'll give you all my DH texas poker chips. Free of charge..."


"Hmmm... " Sunset sad scratching her chin. In fake contemplation.. "I don't know... what you did was PRETTY bad..."

"Admittedly, yes," Pocket Pair said, "but please, just give me another chance, I’ll make it up to you I PROMISE!"

"Well...." Sunset said still feigning contemplation, but before she could conclude her sentence, she was cut off by Cheerilee and intern Principal Luna entering the room. 

Luna, after looking around the room and surveying the situation, turned towards Sunset and said, "Well well well Miss Shimmer, what is this we seeist in front of our eyes?" using the booming Canterlot faculty voice to make this statement.

"... Intern Principal Luna, what are you…. I was just..." Sunset said turning towards her in shock before she was cut off again by Luna.

“Savest your excuses Sunset Shimmer," Luna said angrily in the canterlot voice, "We see in front of our eyes a student cowering in front of you in fear do we not?!"



“Well… um,” Sunset said nervously. 

"And what's more," Cheerilee interjected, "It looks like it's the EXACT same student a good samaritan told me would be the target of your wrath just this morning.”

"Indeed,” Luna said in the Canterlot voice,  “and considering what has happened yesterday thou could face up to ten days suspension for this incident now." she continued sternly.

“What! Suspend me?!” Sunset said shocked. “But I wasn't doing anything bad..."

“Oh, is that so," Luna said suspicious, while still using the Canterlot voice, "Then what excuse does thou have to explain to us why he is on the floor now?”

"Well," Sunset said mustering up some crocodile tears, "You see Luna and Cheerilee, after I got in verbal altercation with him yesterday about him wanting to hang out with me, I felt so bad about what I said that I decided I would apologize today. So when he came in the classroom this morning, I quickly approached him with the intent to make amends. But alas, it seems I must have really hurt him with what I said,  as he got down on his knees and began begging for mercy before I could even start my attempt to apologize."

"Uhhh, what’s going... " Pocket Pair said, before Sunset continued on cutting him off...

"OH Pocket square..." Sunset said

"Pocket PAIR!" Pocket Pair corrected her.

"Um yes whatever," Sunset said with more false sincerity, "I am SO sorry for what I did, and seeing as you were clearly upset about it, I figure I need to make it up to you. What do you say?"

"Ummm, well that depends, what exactly do you have planned?" Pocket pair asked skeptical of her.

"Well, I figured since you were so intent on hanging out with me yesterday that I might take your suggestion  to heart and take you under my wing like you wanted. Starting with say you going with me to the football game this Friday." Sunset said forcing a few tears out. "I know it won't undo the things I've done, but I can only hope it will show how sincerely sorry I am for my actions and will be a step in the right direction." 

"Um... sure.. I guess... maybe" Pocket Pair said, before Sunset surprised him by hugging him.

"Oh thank you, you don't know how happy this makes me!" Sunset said truthfully, though not at all for the reasons everyone thought.  

Pocket Pair, taken aback by her gesture,  blushed at the contact, which was understandable, since she was the first girl who'd ever hugged him.

“Well Sunset, I am so proud of you." Cheerilee said after she had concluded the hug. "I must admit that I thought the worst of you after what happened yesterday, but after what I saw now I see you are a much better person than those actions would imply."

"Good enough to get out of my remaining detention?" Sunset asked meekly.

"Ah ha, ah ha….. Don’t push it!" Cheerilee said sternly. 

"Grrr...", Sunset grumbled just as Derpy Hooves walked into the room for class. 

Upon seeing Sunset, Derpy's eyes widened in fear and she tried to sneak by unnoticed to her seat to avoid conflict. However, this failed because  Cheerilee saw her, and said "And on that note, I think you owe her an apology too," she said pointing to Derpy.

"Wait, WHAT?" Sunset said shocked.

"Yeah, I agree," Pocket Pair said, "What you did and said to her yesterday was as bad if not worse than the things you did and said to me, so you definitely owe her an apology for that."

"We agree," Luna said, "You must make amends for  thy deplorable behavior."

Sunset, gritting her teeth for a second, shook her head to clear it and forced a frown, "Well I suppose you're right, what I did as pretty awful..."

“Well if THAT aint the understatement of the century...," Pocket Pair said, before he jumped back after Sunset gave him a death glare.

Sunset. Still annoyed,  then walked up to Derpy and said "Excuse me... Derpy was it?"

"Umm.. yes," Derpy said tensing up with fear.

"Listen, I'm suh suh suh..." Sunset said tensing up with disgust.

"Huh?" Derpy asked. 

"I'm sorr..." Sunset said, before she groaned.

"We do not understand why thou are hesitating?" Luna said sternly, "Unless of course thou are fking thy apology…”

"Ugh, fine, I'm sorry ok."Sunset said agitated, "For what I did yesterday, I was a total jerk, and..." before she was cut off by Derpy hugging her. 

"Oh, it's ok,” Derpy said, “I know you didn't mean to  hurt my feelings and act like a total heartless jerk and make me cry my eyes out yesterday.", a remark which made Sunset laugh nervously.

"There, see, now everyone's happy" Cheerilee said giddily,  in response to which Sunset looked away and stuck her tongue out in disgust.

"YEah, I guess we all are..." Pocket Pair said, before his eyes lit up and he turned towards Derpy. "Hey, I have an idea.  How would you like to go to the football game with us this Friday?"

"Wait, WHAT?" Sunset said angrily turning towards them.

"OH, you mean it?"  Derpy said.

"Yeah," Pocket Pair said, "After all, Sunset said she'd take me to make up for what she did ,I see no reason why she couldn't do the same for you."

"Hey, wait a minute, you ca...." Sunset interjected, before Luna counter interjected cutting Sunset off.

"We think this is a great idea," Luna said joyfully, "After all, Derpy is new, here, and taking her to a game would be a great way to help her get acquainted with the school and those in it. I for one know how hard it is to not know anyone, as during my high school career I transferred to Canterlot from moon academy during my junior year after 1,000 days of banishment from my home district."

"I agree," Cheerilee said.

"But... I." Sunset said.


"Unless of course," Luna interjected harshly, "thou were NOT being sincere in thine apologies just now, in which case I would have to suspend thou for lying."

Sunset, gritting her teeth at that last statement, said "I'll pick you up at 6."

"Yay," Derpy said.

"Hmmph," Sunset grumbled.

"There, I’m glad this all worked out so well,” Luna said, “In any case we must take our leave,  See thou later," she said, before she exited the room.

“And on that note, I need to get setup for class as well." Cheerilee said. "So if you would all be so kind as to take your seats," she continued, before she turned around and began writing the day's lesson on the board. Meanwhile, Derpy and Pocket Pair sat down, while Sunset returned to Snips and Snails.

"Well, that worked out quite well," Pocket Pair said to himself, "Not only did did I manage to escape her wrath, but I still have a chance to get the girl I want before I graduate this upcoming year. And in addition, know a certain SOMEONE who owes me a LOT of money for successfully completing the bet he made with me. Oh ho I CANNOT wait for lunch today so I can rub it in that arrogant bastard’s face for giving me such a hard time!"

Meanwhile, Sunset sat down and looked at Snips and Snails with a wicked grin of triumph. "All according to plan," Sunset said, "Granted Derpy was not supposed to attend with me, but I suppose it’s for the best considering the impression it will give. Now all we need is for you to get some pictures of us being together at the football game, and Snails' plan will be complete. And once it is, my reputation will be as good as restored, and the fall formal crown will be MINE! MWah ha ha ha ha ha!" she concluded laughing maliciously.

However, her glee was short lived, as Snails, confused, turned to her and  said "Uhhh, wait, what plan was that again?"  causing Sunset Shimmer to facepalm and shake her head in disgust at his stupidity.