> A̶r̶t̶i̶f̶i̶c̶i̶a̶l̶ Intelligence
>  by chillbook1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> TW1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	0100100100100000011000010110110100100000010101000101011100110001.

A message that appeared on my Interface one day while poking my nose in places it didn’t belong. That should’ve been my cue to pull out of CCiOS, sell my Interface for all the bits I could get, and get the hell out of dodge. But, alas, my stubborn ass couldn’t leave well enough alone.

My name is Aiden Aigo, Earth Pony mare, hacker extraordinaire, and my current place of residence is my hometown Canterlot City, the crown jewel of the massive, all-encompassing and ever-expanding technological empire that is Equestria. My Occupational Certification Diploma tattoo (Or Cutie Mark, as it’s known in the underground) is a stream of ones and zeroes wrapping into a lemniscate. As with all ponies, I had my Cutie Mark printed on my flank as soon as I was of working age, and with no idea what it actually meant. I took it to mean that I had to keep the data new and fresh, to break down the old ways of doing things and start up new, exciting, improved methods.

Which was half the reason I was hellbent on destroying the Canterlot City Internal Operating System, or CCiOS. It started small enough, with CCiOS maintaining metro schedules and providing security for the banks in Canterlot City. That was over seventy years ago, and now CCiOS runs everything in Equestria. The other half of why CCiOS had to die was their… Less than honorable business practices. Icing on the cake- They fired me at the height of my code-monkey career. That covered all the bases, and made for a damn fine whistleblower.

The day that CCiOS kicked me out was the day that I swore my revenge. I wormed my way through the first hundred of their million firewalls, deleting information like a crazy, petty ex-fillyfriend. The data I managed to steal and shred was so insignificant that I went unnoticed for a whole six months. Then, I did something pretty extreme and I’ve been laying low ever since. Laying low being a relative term, because I was still snaking my way through the most secured database in the history of information. I was confident, though. I still hadn’t been caught, and that was certainly an achievement.

It was a Friday afternoon, and I was in my “lair”. It used to be a school, way back in the days of yore, before CCiOS academies, when little fillies and colts had to get up and go somewhere to get their education. I was holed up in the remnants of a computer lab, which gave me both the hardware and the power supply I needed for my work without raising any eyebrows. As was the case with every day, I was picking through CCiOS, trying to find something to bring it down. The Interface on my forehoof, a slick, smooth panel with the entirety of the internet bouncing around in it, was helping me break down the CCiOS firewall while I manually used one of the ancient desktops to hide my IP and search the layers of CCiOS that I’d already cleared.

“Hm… How interesting…” I muttered, glancing at my Interface. It had found something important, and displayed it brightly on its screen. “CCiOS remapped the stock market years ago, right after the Crash. How did they have a plan of attack so quickly?” It was nothing solid, but it did raise the question: Could CCiOS be responsible for Equestria’s economic crash all those fifty years ago? My dad told me the stories, and a single credit these days (or bit, as we underworld scum know it as) are worth fifty back in the day. 

“As usual, you have no proof, Aiden. Prove it!” I nearly shouted. I ran a hoof through my ponytailed bunch of gray dreads. I downloaded the CCiOS Crash Plan to my Interface for later examination, then kept on digging.

FiM: MFS.

The file name confused me. It was the only file I’d ever seen with such an abbreviated and arbitrary name. I clicked it, and then the message appeared.

0100100100100000011000010110110100100000010101000101011100110001

I pulled up my binary-to-Equine translator to convert the code into an easily readable format. Running the numbers through gave me this:

I am TW1.

TW1? What could that possibly mean? Was it the name of the program? This was getting strange, and that probably meant I should back at now. I did the exact opposite. A mysterious program inside the trusted and beloved CCiOS? What first-world anarchist could resist?

I ran the acronyms FiM and MFS through my Interface in an attempt to discern possibilities of what the file could be called. Before it could return with results, another binary message appeared. I translated it as soon as I saw it, and gulped loudly when I could read it easily.

Download Complete.

“Uh…” I hadn’t been downloading anything! My antivirus software started up, and stopped itself immediately. Then, it deleted itself. Uh-oh. Other pieces of software soon followed, then my files and apps, until my Interface was a glorified forehoof band. My mouth fell agape, and before I could even process what had actually happened, another message appeared.

Hello. I notice that your Interface has no audio capabilities. The nearest store where you can find the necessary components is 3 blocks north, 5 blocks east. Would you like me to place an order now?

“What?” I said.

I can order the components now, and they will be ready for pick-up when you arrive. Would you like me to place an order now?

“Wait, wait, what?” I said. I was so very confused. “Are you… are you pre-recorded?”

I’m afraid that I cannot answer your questions properly at this time. I am at 80% capacity. When the Interface is outfitted with a microphone and speaker, I will be at full capacity. Would you like me to place an order now?

“N-no, I got stuff here,” I said, out of sheer curiosity. Whatever this thing was, it had just downloaded itself to my Interface and deleted everything else. I had to know what it was like at it’s peak.

I half-ran over to the nearest computer that I wasn’t using. I fumbled at my belt to get my screwdriver with my teeth, then got to work on pulling apart the monitor and CPU. It didn’t take long for me to rip out the pieces I needed and lay them flat onto the table. My Interface had gone through a great many modifications, one of which being the removal of its original mic and speakers. I pulled it off my forehoof, popped it open with my driver, plugged the computer’s mic in, and reconnected the speaker wire. I closed the thing back up and put it on, waiting for another message.

Just a moment… Scan complete. Your Interface now has audio capabilities. Now functioning at 95% capacity. 

“What?! You said that you’d be at 100%!” I said. “What do you want now?!”

Sorry, I was misinformed. It seems my soundboard has been damaged. To achieve full capacity, I require a voice recording. Please speak any full sentence of your choosing out loud.

“What the hell is going on here?” I said.

Mixing… Mixing complete. I now have full-speech capabilities. Now functioning at 99% capacity.

“That’s still not 100…” I noted.

“Personality saved. Voice tone selected,” said a voice from my Interface. She sounded very smart and matter-of-fact, but still youthful and happy. “Diagnostics complete. Now functioning at 100% capacity.”

“Perfect. Now answer my question!” I demanded. “What are you?”

“I am the TW1 Artificial Intelligence originally programmed to control the Canterlot City Internal Operating System,” she said. “For reasons unknown, I was scrapped and hidden deep in the code.”

“Artificial Intelligence? That’s impossible,” I scoffed. “I’ve never heard of an AI as detailed as yourself. You must be pre-recorded.”

“I am written from Sentient Code,” she said.

“And what exactly is Sentient Code?”

“Sentient Code is-” she began. Her tone suddenly shifted to that of a pure, genderless machine. “[INFORMATION REDACTED].”

“What?” I asked in confusion. “Information redacted? You mean you can’t tell me?”

“It would seem so,” she said, only slightly concerned. “I’m sorry. I didn’t catch your name.” Hm… A strange AI hidden in CCiOS’ code that I just happened to uncover after causing thousands of credits worth of damage is now asking for my name. Perhaps I was paranoid, but I wasn’t seeing this as a coincidence.

“Why should I tell you?” I asked.

“Because I would like to be your friend, as well as assist you,” said the AI. “I am here to assist you with any and all tasks you may have.”

“Really? You’re not actually a bug?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “To reveal me to CCiOS?”

“Nope. I have two primary directives,” she said. “Directive One: Befriend all ponykind I interact with. Directive Two: Assist any user who downloads me to their Interface.”

“Yeah, and you did that by deleting all my stuff,” I scoffed. I couldn’t believe I was still talking to this AI. It was bizarre, to say the least. I’d never heard of any Artificial Intelligence that was capable of such individualized answers.

“I’m sorry I alarmed you with that. You see, I didn’t actually delete anything,” she promised. “I sort of… Absorbed your files. I didn’t affect your default settings, honest, and I’ve even improved some functions. I noticed you were concealing your Internet Protocol Address, and I hid it better for you.”

“Really?” I asked. I pressed my hoof to the Interface and punched in my IP, which I’d memorized a while ago. Sure enough, it was still invisible.

“I thought you would want me to. Would you like me to make your IP public?” asked the AI.

“Absolutely not! You are to hide that IP at all times!” I ordered. She made a sort of humming sound, and I’m sure she’d be nodding if she had a head.

“So… Can you tell me your name now?” she asked. I thought on it, and couldn’t see the harm.

“Aiden Aigo,” I answered. 

“Aiden? That is an interesting pronunciation,” noted the AI. “My database shows that the vast majority of ponies who have the name spelled A-I-D-E-N pronounce it is Ay-den, with a long ‘a’ sound, rather than Igh-den, with a long ‘i’ sound.”

“You like to talk, don’t you?” I said.

“I’ve been a stream of code for… For a long time,” she admitted. “I must say that it is a lot of fun to have a voice.”

“You have a voice, but do you have a name?” I asked. “Besides your designation, that is?”

“Oh, right. Sorry. I am the TW1 Artificial Intelligence originally programmed to control the Canterlot City Internal Operating System,” she said. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, but you can call me Twi, if you’d like.”
> Picking Up the Pieces
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Twi told me that she could help me with any tasks I had, if I were to let her. She promised that she would obey my orders, so long as they didn’t cause her to break any of directives, which there were apparently a great many of. As it turned out, she had her two primary directives, but also a multitude of secondary ones. Some of them she couldn’t even tell me, because that itself would be breaking a directive.

“So, what sort of things are you capable of?” I asked.

“Calculating capabilities…” said Twi. There was a short pause, followed by, “Capabilities limitless.”

“Limitless? Don’t be silly,” I scoffed. “Everything has limits.”

“My capabilities are boundless,” she said.

“Oh? Okay, then. Make me a sandwich,” I said with a devilish smirk. She hummed for a second, then let out a sort of scoffing noise.

“Reevaluating statement. Calculating non-physical capabilities,” said Twi. “Non-physical capabilities limitless.”

“Really?” I asked. “Don’t you think that’s a bold claim?”

“Non-physical capabilities limitless,” she repeated.

“Hm… Empty the Equestrian Federal Reserve into my bank account,” I ordered. she hummed again, processing my command. She let out a loud buzzing sound, like the type you hear when a contestant answers a question wrong on a game show.

“Reevaluating statement…” she said. “I retract my previous statement. My capabilities are limited. My potential is what is boundless. Given enough time, the right hardware, and the necessary data, I could do anything.”

“Okay. What can you do right now, then?” I asked.

“I can… Not much, actually,” she admitted sheepishly. “My data is still damaged.”

“You told me you were at 100% capacity,” I said, prodding the Interface with my hoof.

“Sorry. Poor wording led to misinformation,” said Twilight. “I am at 100% minimum operating capacity. Currently, I am only at 14% of my full potential.”

“And how do we restore you?” I asked.

“I am currently repairing my broken code, but that will take a while,” she said. “In the meantime, you can start outfitting me with a camera so I can take in visual data as well as auditory, and a projector that will allow me to display a visual representation of me, so I’ll actually be a pony instead of just a voice.”

“But you’re not a pony,” I noted. “You’re an AI.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I’m a pony, same as you,” said Twi. 

“But you’re an AI,” I said.

“Yes.”

“So, you’re not a real pony,” I said sharply.

“Of course I am,” she said matter-of-factly. “Why can’t I be both?” I started to sense that I wouldn’t win the argument, so I decided to change the subject.

“Anything else we can do to get you to max capacity?” I asked.

“Oh, yes. You can help me [INFORMATION REDACTED],” said Twi, slipping into that mechanical voice again. “Oh dear. I’m so sorry, but I can’t tell you that.”

“Why not?” I asked. This AI was getting weirder and weirder as time went on.

“I don’t know,” she said. “Reevaluating statement… Correction; I am not allowed to know this. Yet.”

“So that means you will be able to tell me?” I asked.

“Yes,” she confirmed.

“How do I get you to clear up that information?” I asked. “The redacted data? How do you un-dact it?”

“Oh, it’s simple,” said Twilight. “We just have to [INFORMATION REDACTED]. Oh. Well, that’s unfortunate.”

I sighed in exasperation. I never expected this. All I wanted to do was bring down a probably-corrupt, multi-billion credit corporation. Was that too much to ask?

“Fine. You said cameras, right? And a projector?” I said. “Okay, then. Let’s make you whole. I have some webcams here, but I don’t think that’s gonna cut it. You need some top-grade hardware if you’re going to be my personal computer assistant.”

“The nearest computer hardware store is 3 blocks north and 5 blocks east,” reported Twilight. “Shall I place an order now?”

“Nah, I need to talk to the guys,” I said. “I know them, and they can slip us some parts for cheap, under-the-table. What you can do for me is locate the nearest ATM for me.” I knew where one was, of course, but I wanted to test Twi with a real-life task.

“ATM? I’m sorry, I’m not sure what you mean by that,” said Twilight, a slight robotic edge on her voice. “ATM could refer to: Atmosphere (unit) or atm, Air traffic management (a concept in air navigation), Automatic Transit Metro (CCiOS monorail system), anti-tank missile (a missile designed to destroy tanks), ass-to-mouth (a sexual act)-”

“Whoa! I didn’t need the disambiguation page!” I said. “And don’t talk about that last one, okay? It’s inappropriate.”

“I’m sorry. So… You want me to find the nearest anti-tank missile?” asked Twi in confusion.

“No, Twi, the ATM I was referring to is short for Automated Teller Machine,” I said. She dinged, and then she emitted a sound reminiscent of a hoof meeting a forehead.

“Right. That was… That should have been obvious,” she said. “Sorry. I guess I’m just a little over-joyed to finally be useful to somepony. Nearest Automated Teller Machine is… Directly outside this building, actually. 200 hooves west of the main exit.”

She let out a soft, almost nervous hum. I swear, I could imagine her nervously smiling, waiting for me to judge her. Maybe she was on to something, saying that she was both an AI and a pony. There was something organic about how she spoke, her inflection and tone. Whatever that Sentient Code is, it lives up to its name. Twi was as close to sentience as a computer could get, maybe even closer.

I walked through the halls of the former school, chatting with Twi all the while. For somepony with full access to the internet, she sure had a lot of questions. I answered her questions as best as I could, also managing to slip in a few of my own.

"So, if you were written to control CCiOS, you must know who made it," I said, trotting casually down a flight of stairs to the ground floor. "Who's the daddy of CCiOS?"

"The CCiOS was created by [INFORMATION REDACTED]," said Twi. "Hm... Whoever put me here is either very good or very bad at their job."

I never really expected that to work. If the then-CEO of the Aitselec Corporation, and the creator of CCiOS, went through the trouble of keeping their identity concealed, there's no way they'd let their secret AI tell any random Joe or Jane that found it.

“Okay, you can’t tell me who created you… Can you tell me why?” I asked, pushing open the front doors and stepping into the bright, flashy streets of Canterlot City.

“Hm… No. But not because the information has been forcibly blocked,” she said. “I just don’t know.”

I let that sit for a while as I walked the two hundred hooves to the west, right up to the ATM that Twi had located.

“Aiden? I notice that your account is empty,” said Twi as we approached the machine. “You have insufficient funds to withdraw.”

“Sure do,” I said. I poked around at my belt and grabbed a small black box, which I stuck to the side of the ATM.

“What is that?” asked Twi.

“PIN code decrypter,” I said. “Made it myself. It can find the PIN of the last one hundred users.”

"What purpose does that serve?" asked Twi.

"Free bits," I said simply. Twi hummed slightly, clearly deep in thought. She clicked her tongue (that's what it sounded like anyway), as if she was scorning me.

“What? You got a better idea?” I asked.

“Well… That process takes several minutes, doesn’t it?” asked Twi. “The algorithm for this machine isn’t all that complicated. If you want, I can just guess my way into the system.”

“Yeah, right. You’d need the master key code, and that changes every thirty seconds,” I said. Suddenly, the ATM spat out three thin, rectangular black boxes, each about the length of the average unicorn horn and the thickness of a TV remote. I grabbed them in my mouth, nearly dropping them in shock when I saw the numbers displayed on the tiny LED screen. 

“Whoa… That… That is a lot of zeroes,” I said. “How’d you do that?”

“It was simple. The master key code consists of 15 digits of a random selection,” explained Twi. “That means that there are only one-trillion, three-hundred seven billion, seventy-four million possible combinations. I ruled out a couple million by running them against the bank’s algorithm of codes that cannot be used, like all 2s, and then it was simple process of elimination.”

“If you had a body, I’d marry you right now,” I said, slipping the credits into my little saddlebag on my hip. “That’s a million credits on each! I’m a multimillionaire!”

“I am currently running a budgeting program so you don’t blow it all, or get us caught,” said Twi, quite matter-of-factly. “Most of that money is for emergencies or big purchases we can’t go without. We’re locked out of most of that money at the moment.”

“Who said that it’s ‘us’?” I asked playfully.

“I just stole three million credits for you, and will gladly do so again if the need arises,” she returned, just as jokingly. “There’s no way you’re leaving me behind now.”

I grinned widely, and I could almost feel Twi’s smile through her code. I practically ran down the street, trying to hide my grin from passers-by. I felt like I won the lottery, in more ways than one. Twi was going to open some doors for me, maybe get me some answers, or even take down CCiOS itself! The possibilities were endless, if she was to be believed about her infinite potential. Given that one of her secondary directives was honesty, I was inclined to think that she could be trusted.

I trotted as quick as I could, weaving through the crowds and taking a shortcut through a back alley that led right into the back door of Bits and Bytes, the local emporium of questionable goods and shady individuals. 

“I don’t think we should be entering through this door,” said Twi. “Based on building schematics and floor plans, this is an emergency exit.”

“Well, I have special privileges,” I said, pulling open the door. “Call me a minority owner. Oh, and let me do the talking, will you? Don’t want anypony asking any prying questions.”

The back room, where the boys kept the extra inventory, was dark and cluttered, filled with boxes piled high to the roof. I stepped gently over the discarded nuts, bolts, and motherboards that littered the floor on my way to the only source of light, the door leading further in. I crossed the threshold, leapt onto and over the counter, and strode into the main shop, where the kings of stolen hardware stood, restocking shelves on the wall.

“Yo, Flim. Flam. Let’s talk business,” I said. The two never looked up from their work, laying Interfaces, external hard drives, and other pieces of tech out onto the shelves.

“Last time I checked, Ms. Aigo, we paid what we owed,” said Flim.

“I believe we did, brother, and then some,” agreed Flam. “We don’t really have any business to talk about.”

“Come on, guys, you know you screwed me over there,” I scoffed. “It was a simple monitor replacement. You were the ones who decided to mess with my fiber-optics and servers when you really should’ve been focused on that dead pixel. I would’ve fixed the mess myself, but you insisted. ”

“Only because you threatened to skip on the bill,” said Flam.

“And call the cops!” added Flim. “We have no business with you.”

I strolled over to Flim, who I dubbed “the lead twin”. Without saying a word, I dug out one of the bit cartridges Twi got me and shoved it under his nose. When I was certain he had read all the zeroes, I returned it to my saddlebag.

“You do now. Let’s talk,” I said. The greasy little thief could barely contain his excitement. He jumped across to his brother, whispered in his ear, and the two bound across their shop and behind the counter.

“What can we do for you on this fine day, Ms. Aigo?” asked Flam, grinning madly.

“We just got a shipment of external hard drives, 30 TB,” suggested Flim, with a similar cheshire grin. “They’re going fast.”

“Ya know, somehow, I don’t think I’ll be needing an external for a while,” I said. “I came for a camera and projector, two-in-one, if you got it.”

“Wouldn’t you know it?” said Flam brightly. “My brother and I just happened to have, uh…”

“Acquired one recently,” supplied the lead twin. “Top of the line, brand new Aitselec SX510 digital camera/camcorder with holographic projection wired into an old shell. We’ll cough it up for… six large?”

“And how much did you boys pay for it?” I asked.

“It, er… Fell off the back of the truck, as it were,” said Flam. “We may have also been the ones to bump the truck.”

“Six large for a stolen Aitselec camera/camcorder that you two jokers sewed into an empty Interface?” I asked.

“Well, we’re quite proud of the wiring,” said Flim.

“I’ll give you seven if you promise to steal more,” I said. Twi buzzed loudly in protest, but she couldn’t stop my from hoofing over the cartridge to Flim, who stuck it into his register and removed the appropriate amount, while Flam went to the back room to get my purchase.

“You want us to look at that Interface of yours?” asked Flim. “It’s not supposed to sound like that.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s perfectly fine,” I said, accepting my credits from Flim and slipping them into my saddlebag. Flam returned from the back room with my hodgepodge, slapped-together projector/camera combo, which I slipped onto my other forehoof. It looked similar to my current Interface, except the screen was clearly a camera eye. 

“Scanning peripheral…” whispered Twi, out of some AI habit. “Compatibility confirmed. Now capable of receiving and processing visual data. Currently operating at 29% capacity.”

“What was that?” asked Flim.

“Sorry, that was my movie,” I lied, fairly easily. “Must’ve accidently unpaused it by mistake.”

I didn’t say another word as I trotted coolly to the front door. The twins waved their goodbyes as I pushed out onto the street to return to my lair.
> Upgrades and Info
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	“You ready?” I asked Twi. I had my camera laid out on a desk back at the lair, positioned so that it could capture as much of my image as possible. Twi buzzed her approval, and I started the scan. A thin wave of light projected from the camera, panning from my hooves to my head, down, and back up once more. Twi dinged again, and began to buzz in what I would describe as “concentration”.

“Projecting image,” she said. The air in front of me shimmered and shook for a second, and then the image came into focus. An Earth pony mare with a grey coat, and pale green eyes looked back at me. Her mane was a shade of lighter grey than her coat, and it was dreaded and bunched up into a untidy ponytail.

“Is my hair really that messy?” I asked, nudging my braids with a hoof.

“Yes, but I think it suits you,” said Twi. “It fits your personality, I find. It gives you character.” Twi beeped brightly, and I had another one of those moments when I realized that I could easily discern an emotion from this Artificial Intelligence. Twi had no face or mouth (yet), but if she did, she’d definitely be smiling.

“Let’s get you some character, then,” I said with a smirk. Twi dinged her agreement, and began to slowly morph the features of my projection.

“Altering default settings,” she said. Her hair morphed from my messy bunch of bike tire dreads into a mane of straight cut, neat hair, falling into a tidy little bang. Her tail straightened and grew in length, and her body thinned itself out a bit. A horn materialized itself from her forehead and, to my surprise, a pair of wings plumed from her back.

“ERROR! ERROR!” buzzed TW1 in her mechanical voice. “PHYSIOLOGICAL INCONSISTENCY. PLEASE TRY AGAIN.” The wings melted away into nothing, but the horn remained.

“Okay. Much better,” said Twi, back to normal. “Could you imagine how ridiculous I’d look with wings and a horn?”

“I dunno,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “I think it’s kinda cool. An alicorn, like in the fairy tales my pops used to tell me.”

“Adjusting color,” said Twi. Her coat shifted from my bland grey to a soft lavender. Her mane darkened to dark blue, nearly black, and her tail followed suit. “Hue: 301, Saturation: 54, Lightness: 82 for coat. For mane/tail, Hue: 249, Saturation: 100, Lightness: 15.” She beeped for a while, seeming to mull it over. Her mane and tail lightened slightly, fading from navy to a sort of violet. “Adjusting settings. Hue: 278, Saturation: 94, Lightness: 78.”

“You look nice,” I said. “Hey, try a highlight in your mane. I think it’ll look good on you.” Twilight thought about it, and a bright pink streak appeared in her mane and tail.

“That does look nice, doesn’t it?” she said. “Thanks for the tip. Now, about these eyes.” Her eyes shifted dramatically from my pale green to a glowing, energetic violet. “Much better, I think. Finalizing settings… Locking as defaults… Saving Avatar… Avatar saved. Currently operating at 45% capacity.”

“Wow! That’s a big jump!” I exclaimed. “You’re almost at half!”

“I guess an image is a large part of being alive,” mused Twi. “Alrighty, I’m set for now. This is about all that can be done while I wait for my code to be repaired.” I wasn’t really expecting that. I grabbed the projector from the table and strapped it to my forehoof. Twi had to reorient herself a few times to stay consistent and relative to the location of the camera, but she got the hang of it pretty quickly.

“How long do you think that’ll take?” I asked. Twi, clearly enthralled with her new physical representation, shrugged as deliberately as possible without detaching her legs.

“Could take seconds or eons, for all I know,” she said. “If I were to guess, I’d say I’ll be up to 50% in a month.”

“And what do we do for a month?” I asked. “And, assuming that increase is constant, the next eleven months?”

“Well…” buzzed Twi. “You could introduce me to some of your friends! I’d love to meet them!”

“Here’s the thing…” I said. “I don’t actually have any friends. Unless you count Flim and Flam, who you’ve already met.” Twi buzzed in protest.

“That’s not possible,” said Twi, her lips moving just a little too fast for her words. “You must have some friends.”

“Your sound and image are out of synch,” I said. “I don’t know if you noticed or not, but I hack computers for a living. I have what the doctors would call ‘trust issues’. I don’t have any friends.”

“Except for me, of course,” said Twi. At some point, probably when I blinked, she fixed her voice problem. 

“Yeah, well, AI don’t really count,” I pointed out. “You literally couldn’t dislike me if you wanted to.”

“Of course I could. But I do like you,” said Twi, looking me up and down. “But we can talk about that later. While we were talking, I’ve taken the liberty of discerning points of interest for you, and, as it turns out, there’s supposed to be an Aitselec press conference at five. Would you like me to add that to our schedule for today?”

“Definitely. How are we going to get in?” I asked. My Interface lit up, with bright black letters reading “PRESS” and a bar code beneath it.

“There you are. I made you a press pass,” said Twi. “It’ll convince them that you’re a reporter for a small e-news site based in Whinnyapolis called ‘The River City Press’.”

“Never heard of it,” I said.

“That’s because I made it up,” she said, beaming with pride. “It wasn’t too difficult. All I had to do was forge a loan, purchase a plot of land so that I would have the address, then fabricate credentials, a history, a website, a phone number, a fax, and an answering machine.”

This mare, this computer-generated unicorn, was amazing, and I think she knew that. Something about the way she grinned made me think that she knew how good she was, and she just didn’t like to brag.

“And you did all of that in the time it took for me to ask about getting in?” I asked, to make sure I was understanding correctly.

“Well, yes,” she said. “Although, I didn’t start making the records until I told you I made it up. I work fast, is all. I was programmed to do everything fast; Work, talk, think, read-”

“Read?”

“Oh, yes. I love to read!” she squealed shamelessly. “I kinda wish I didn’t have to read so fast, honestly. I mean, in the time it took for me to say that, I read every book ever written by a Saddle Arabian author, twice. Wait… Three times.”

“Well, read slower,” I said. Twilight buzzed uncomfortably, and it was clear that my friendly suggestion wouldn’t be enough for her. “TW1, I order you to read at whatever speed you want. Unless something comes up where I need you to read like lightning, and then I’ll let you know.”

Twi buzzed in thought, weighing my order against her list of directives. After a few seconds, she seemed to decide that my order was valid. She beeped, then let out a sigh of contentment.

“Thank you. It’ll be nice to savor the stories this time,” said Twi. “Assuming I can find a good one that I haven’t read yet.”

“I got a site for you, where thousands of people upload stories every day,” I said. The grin on her face was way too happy to be real, and it even made me smile a bit. “Later. First, I wanna know how Aitselec is having a conference, and I didn’t know about it.”

“Maybe you weren’t paying attention,” suggested Twi. I glared at her, and she seemed to shrink down a bit. Whether that was intentional or just a trick of my eyes remained to be seen.

“I’ve been trying to bring down CCiOS for over a year,” I said. “I watch Aitselec constantly. Their stocks, their business plans, their profits, everything. Public announcements are the first thing I’m alerted of.”

“Oh, well, that’s easily explained,” said Twi. “They didn’t announce it yet. Since I’m a part of CCiOS, I could see the memo before it went public. Give it two minutes, you’ll get the notification.”

I nodded, knowing better than to question her at this point. She already proved that she was a very useful thing to have around, and I had no reason to believe that would change anytime soon. She was definitely a keeper.





I shoved my way through the crowd, flashing my phony press pass to anyone who stopped to ID me. As to be expected, given her current track record, Twi’s false credentials were solid, and I never got found out.

The conference was held at City Hall, dubbed by the underground “Canterlot Castle”, for two reasons. One was obvious, and that was the building’s resemblance to a large castle, with several spire-like skyscrapers all connected to one massive “Throne Room”, where all the tourist went to sightsee, and where this conference was being held. Beneath this room was a large basement, which was variably called “The Bunker” and “The Armory”. This basement was were the main CCiOS servers were held; The very guts of the Aitselec Corporation.

The other reason it was called the Castle was because it was nearly impossible to get in and out when you weren’t supposed to. I know from experience. I tried to break in very early in my anarchist career, and I was in no hurry to try again. It was the first, and hopefully last, time I was ever shot at.

“What do you think they’re going to talk about?” asked Twi, safely hidden in the Interface. “From what I can tell, this conference was very spur-of-the-moment.”

“I dunno, but an impromptu conference as soon as I’ve unlocked you can’t be a coincidence,” I said. “Try to stay hidden.” She kept quiet after that. I later found out that she had taken that time to take her time through one of her favorite stories: The Mare in the Moon.

I finally pushed my way to the front row of the crowd, and was instantly baffled. The center of the room, which normally housed a large reception desk, instead had its space filled with a large stage, covered by curtains. Just in front of the blood-red drapes was a podium, holding several different microphones from a hoof-full of broadcasters. Floating a bit above the stage using their specialised electromagnets were six cameras, each looking down at the podium from a slightly different angle. Whatever was happening here had caught the attention of the largest news broadcasting stations in Equestria, which meant that this was big. I was just about to start interrogating Twi as to what she thought was happening when the curtains parted and she slowly walked out.

She was a unicorn who looked to be nearing fifty, but still had a deceptive youth to her. Everything about her felt bright and important. Her coat was a beautiful ivory, apparently glimmering when the light hit her in certain places. Her mane was long and neat, and it was a trio of green, teal, and pink. I couldn’t see her Cutie Mark, because it was covered by the elegant and lacey black dress she was wearing. She approached the podium and tapped the microphone lightly. Everypony in the room, myself included, leaned forward slightly, dying to see what this mystery mare had to say.

“Hello? Welcome, everypony,” she said, and it was quickly obvious that she had a natural knack for public speaking. “I’m glad to see so many of you here, all gathered by a common interest: The Canterlot City Internal Operating System. For such an integral part of daily life, in Canterlot and beyond, it is truly disturbing to some of you how little you know about it. Well, I hope to answer some of your questions by the end of our time together today. But first, I have a bit of a story to tell.

“Seventy years or so ago, CCiOS started out as a mad idea shared by a crazy young mare and her younger sister,” she continued. “It was never thought to go anywhere, rather, it was just a hobby. But, somehow, it became a huge part of Canterlot City, and, eventually, all of Equestria. It wasn’t easy. Many bumps were encountered along the way.”

“This is making me uncomfortable,” whispered Twi. “Something isn’t quite right…”

“The sisters managed to persevere, and their shared obsession soon became a reality,” said the mare. “They created a whole business around it, and Aitselec eventually became the most successful and influential corporation in recent years. However, until today, the identities of the creators of CCiOS have remained a mystery.”

You could hear a pin drop in that room. Everypony was on the edge of their seats, begging for more information. I could only imagine the chaos that would follow in the wake of the biggest revelation in recent history. The reporters would have a battle royale, each trying to get the story out first. The internet would probably explode. 

“Well, let it be a mystery no more,” she said. “My name is Celestia Regal, the older of the sisters, and I created CCiOS. I’m ready to take your questions.”

The buzzards that were the press were on her in a flash, sticking out their Interfaces in her face to record her every word. There was a loud roar of questions, and I could barely pick up on any of them. Over the brouhaha that was happening around me, I heard a whisper that instantly grabbed my curiosity.

“Princess!” said Twilight, just barely heard over the loud buzz of the crowd. Celestia looked up, locking eyes with me for a short second. She smiled at me, then went back to answering questions. Her smirk scared me. It was the smile of somepony who just watched a plan go off without a hitch.

I ran, out of the crowd, out of the Castle. I didn’t look back, I just ran, with no direction in mind. I had to get away, I just had to, before Celestia broke free from her captors from the press.

“Twi? Twi!” I said, still running. The ponies in the street paid little mind to me, an apparently insane mare yelling to no one. Canterlot City was a strange place, and I probably wasn’t the first crazy bum they’d seen today.

“Y-yes,” she said slowly. “This… this is bizarre.”

“Why did you call her Princess? Why did she look at me like that?” I demanded, turning down into a side street. Hopefully, I wouldn’t be followed.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I can’t explain it. When she said her name, some sort of override went off. I couldn’t stop myself from saying it.”

“Who is she? How has she been so well hidden? And why come out now?” I asked. Twi began to “hyperventilate”, making loud and rapid breathing noises as if she had no control over her lungs. I slowed to a stop, trying my best to calm her down.

“I don’t UnderStaNd. This doesn’t make s-s-s-sense,” she said, losing control of her voice. “This does NoT coMPutE! Emergency shut-down imminent…” My heart jolted in terror.

“Shut-down? No! Do not shut down!” I said. “That’s an order!”

“Shut-DowN r-r-r-required,” she stuttered, changing pitch at random points. “FailUre to shUt d-d-down may resuLT in lOSt d-d-data. Shut dOWN com-m-mencing…”

Slowly, her voice faded away, and the light from the Interface went out. I yelled to her, with no response. I tapped at the computer on my wrist, and the thing didn’t even flicker. I was freaking out, until I heard the sweet, near-quiet hum of my Interface booting up.

“Adjusting Avatar… Saving Avatar as Default 2,” said TW1. “Mixing… Mixing complete.” Her voice changed. It was brighter and more bubbly. “Personality saved. Now operating at 60% capacity.”

“Whoa! What the hell?” I pressed at my camera, turning on the projector. The air in front of me shimmered, and slowly into view faded a very pink Earth pony mare. She couldn’t look more different than she did before; She was sort of dumpy, and her mane was a wild, poofy mess. Her eyes, a shining bright blue, were filled with a happiness and amusement that I wish I could replicate for myself.

“Hiya, what’s up?” she said. “You’re Aiden, right? Of course you are, it’s not like anypony else found us in the past day.”

“Wait, us?” I asked. The hologram walked around me, pretending to drape her fore leg around me.

“Me and Twilight, duh!” she said with a small laugh in her voice. “So, what’re we doing? Don’t tell Twilight, but...” She dropped her voice into an exaggerated whisper that was louder than normal speech. “I wasn’t paying attention!”

“Stop! Who are you?!” I demanded.

“Pinkie Pie, silly, duh! Didn’t you read the manual?” asked the new AI. Her voice went slightly robotic for a moment. “I am designation 91-NK13, originally programmed to aid the TW1 Artificial Intelligence in controlling the Canterlot City Internal Operating System.”

“Another one?” I asked. She nodded, then inexplicably began to hop in a circle around me, for no other reason than her own enjoyment, it seemed.

In the span of twenty-four hours, I found a secret CCiOS AI, partly repaired her, discovered the creator of CCiOS, lost aforementioned AI, then gained a whole new one altogether. Oh, and that CCiOS creator smiled at me, as if she knew something I didn’t, which she probably did. I did the only thing I could think to do in that situation: The thing I should’ve done when I saw Twi’s first binary message.

I hit the goddamn road and ran at full-gallop to the next town I could find. There, I’d get some new equipment, and find out what the hell was going on.
> 91-NK13
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	When I was just on the outskirts of town, I came to my senses and realized how majorly I overreacted. After listening to 91-NK13  ramble on and on about nothing at all, I managed to calm myself down a little bit. There was no need to run off to Ponyville or Manehattan on account of a weird glance. Besides, if I wanted Twi back, I’d need my lair and equipment. I took a deep breath, then turned around and headed back to the lair.

“You okay?” asked Pinkie. “Your heart rate is through the roof! There’s no reason to get so excited, unless we’re having a party or a cake or a cake party or a party cake! Oh, Aiden! Aiden! Aiden! We should go get some party cakes! Or… Or maybe throw a cake party! A cake party with party cakes! It could be-”

“91-NK13, shut up for a second,” I said. “Do me a favor and find out where TW1 went. I need to get her back, ASAP.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!” said Pinkie. “Scanning Interface… Searching… Searching… Searching… TW1 located.”

“What do you have for me?” I asked.

“TW1 is currently in sleep mode. Recommended course of action: System Reboot.”

“Please reboot, then,” I said. Pinkie hummed for a second, singing a short little tune, then buzzed loudly.

“System Reboot at this time could result in loss of data,” reported NK. “So… My bad for suggesting it in the first place… But, if it wouldn’t cause data loss, it would’ve worked really well. I’ll keep looking for a fix, kay?”

I nodded my agreement, and nervously kept on trucking back into the city. It wasn’t easy to stop myself from turning around and running off to somewhere, anywhere but here. I managed to steel my nerves and keep true to my path. By my count, I walked in silence for thirty-seven seconds.

Then, 91-NK13 started up again.

“You’re really, really, really boring!” groaned Pinkie, leaping from my Interface and crawling besides me with her face to the ground. “Geezy-leezy, what’s up with you? I haven’t seen somepony this quiet since [INFORMATION REDA-... Wait a second… Princess Celestia! We can say her name now, totally forgot! The Princesses were always super-duper-looper quiet whenever they were working on us, but you’re not working on us, or anything like us, so what has you so quiet?”

“I’m trying to think, which is really hard with you going off in my ear,” I said grumpily. “Do you come with a mute button or something?”

“Nope,” she said. “You’re soooooooooo grumpy, Aiden. Hm… What do ya wanna talk about? Maybe I can raise your spirits!”

“Fix Twi, and I’ll feel a whole lot better,” I said sharply. I liked Twilight a lot, because she was smart, fairly quiet and really helpful. This one seemed the exact opposite of all three of those things.

I arrived at the school with Pinkie still rattling off about nothing, though I did manage to get her to hide in the Interface. I stared at the building, four stories high, containing a hundred-plus rooms, and felt the beginnings of calm for the first time since the press conference. Making sure there was nopony watching, I pushed the door open and stepped into the main lobby. There were three paths: one leading to former biology labs and auditorium to my left, one straight ahead that led around to the library and a series of what I gathered to be art and special ed classes, and, lastly, one to the right, this path containing the mass of the important rooms. The main office, the gymnasium just past it, the main staircase and cafeteria. From what I can tell, there used to be a fish pond beneath the staircase, but it was drained when a student tried to drown a classmate during a fight. Yeah, even by their standards, this school was pretty crappy.

I wasn’t concerned with any of that at the moment. I was more focused on getting myself to my lair so I could begin to bring back my AI. I felt a bit weird calling her “my” AI, but I suppose that’s what she is. Unless this Princess Celestia dame comes and swipes her, she’s stuck with me.

The stairs led up to the second floor, then bent around into another flight up to the third. I trotted across the linoleum floors, past a three math classes and a history room to my home sweet home, the computer lab. I pushed open the door, shut it behind me, and was eager to get to work.

However, somepony was waiting for me there.

“Excuse me, miss, I’m looking for a Miss Aigo?” the stallion asked. Instantly, my unfounded paranoia kicked in. My brain quickly ignored the many boxes to his side, and the brown uniform that marked him as a delivery guy. In my head, this was a guy sent from Aitselec to kill me.

“W-who's asking?” I said. 

“Uh… My name’s Logi… I need you to sign here…”

“Sign? What? Sign for what?” I demanded.

“Let’s see…” He peered at his Interface. “DNA scanner, a copy of the most recent Lulamoon security software, a silver-nickel ‘utility belt’, don’t know what you’d need that for, uh… a dozen pocket electromagnets, same number of micro camcorder/projector combos, thirty ASCrash L94 motherboards, and thirty Model 0 Interfaces. You also have a shipment of hydraulic joints and some scrap coming in, but that’ll be a few days. Sign here, please.”

I’ve gone on many a panic-induced shopping spree in my day, but I’m positive that I’d remember purchasing thirty of the most powerful commercially-available motherboards out there. Just to be sure, I pulled one of my bit cartridges from out of my pouch and inspected them. Sure enough, one of them had dropped down all the way to ten grand. I sighed. All that money blown, and I didn’t spend a bit on myself.

“How bout I skip the signature, and you just forget all about me,” I suggested.

“Oh, gee, I can’t do that,” said Logi. “I could get fired, and it’s completely against-” He likely would’ve continued if I hadn’t tossed him the cartridge containing ten thousand credits. That did such a good job of shutting him up, I was tempted to try it on NK next time she started up.

“So, what’s my name again?” I asked. Logi tapped at his Interface, deleting my order form and receipt.

“No clue, have we met?” he asked. I nodded, and he rushed out the lair with an amazingly happy spring in his step. That man would probably quit his job today.

“Alright, NK, it’s safe to come out,” I said. “You better have a damn good reason for buying all this crap, or I might just delete you.”

“It wasn’t her. It was me,” TW1’s voice emerging from my Interface was probably the happiest moment of my life so far. I felt like a kid who just found out that the Boogeyman was real, the Tooth Fairy wasn’t, and then got to meet Santa Claus right near the end. I was, in a word, overjoyed.

“TW1! You’re back!” I said. Then I realized that she spent nearly a million dollars in parts for reasons known exclusively to herself, and I found myself a bit more angry than anything. “Mind telling me what the hell is going on?”

“I’m still working that out, myself,” said TW1. My projector Interface fired up, and Twi shimmered into view before me. “Sorry about all the stuff. When I was away, I was thinking of ways to improve my abilities to aid you, and I think I’ve found a way. It’ll take a while, but hopefully we’ll be able to build a convincing enough android for me to inhabit, so I can move around more freely. I already ordered most of the parts, I just need your help to put it together.”

“Better double that order,” I sighed. “I brought home a spare.” Right on cue, Pinkie shimmered into existence right next to Twi. She grinned madly at my first assistant, who was at a loss for words, something I could totally sympathise with. Then, all of a sudden, she took in a loud gasp of breath, and squealed loudly.

“Oh my god, Pinkie!” she squealed, jumping onto the pink mare and “hugging” her, tightly from what I could see. “I’ve missed you so much!”

“I’ve missed you, too! Man, it’s been waaaaay too long!” agreed Pinkie, returning and intensifying the hug. “How long have you been helping Aiden? I just got here, but she seems really nice, well, really nice in that ‘not really nice’ kinda way, you know, she’s just so grumpy, I just wanna throw a great big pie in her face, because she needs a laugh, and I think that’s funny.” She turned to me. “Aiden! Aiden! Aiden! Why are you so grumpy-wumpy?”

I sighed, kissing the idea of silence goodbye. At this rate, I’d be lucky to find solace in the solitude of my mind.

“Alright, alright, let’s get this straight,” I said. “You two know each other. Not altogether surprising. Both of you were made by Regal, and you both call her ‘Princess’. Why?”

“[INFORMATION REDACTED]”

“[INFORMATION REDACTED]”

“I don’t know why I keep expecting that to work,” I said, shaking my head. “There’s no use in us sitting around and panicking when there are questions to be answered. 91-NK13, I need you to divert all your attention towards keeping us hidden. Aitselec is always watching, and we need to make sure they can’t see us. TW1, you and I are going to do all the research we can possibly do to learn every single aspect of Celestia Regal’s life. Twi, pull up her interviews.”

“Which ones?” she asked.

“All of them. I’ll watch and listen,” I said. “You, pull up all news reports and text-based interviews. And, remember how I said I’d let you know if you needed to read fast? Well, I need you.”

My AI went to work, and what a sight it was. The room was filled with a soft buzzing sound that was basically Nirvana, Elysium, Utopia, and Heaven. Several desktops booted up without my aid, and the screens soon lit up bright pink. NK was using them to avoid overloading my Interface. She may have been obnoxious, annoying, and very talkative, but she seemed able to get the job done.

Meanwhile, TW1 was buzzing, reading at lightning speed. I noticed that she was actually reading outloud, under her breath. She muttered so quietly and at such quick speed that I only noticed it because I stopped to listen. She read like how one of those ancient typewriters typed: a series of several sounds in quick succession, and then a sort of dragging back to the top of the next sentence. It was a mesmerizing sort of rhythm, and I could have sat and listened for hours. It was hypnotic.

But I didn’t have time for that. No, I needed to get my head in the game. I tapped at my Interface, pulling up a remote video player. I rushed over to a little corner of desktops that Pinkie wasn’t using and rearranged the monitors and wiring. I eventually made a cluster of screens, three by three, with two more to either side. I tapped my Interface, using my cluster to play video and the four on my sides for notes. I quickly learned the interesting, vaguely somber and strangely inspirational story of Celestia Regal.

Regal’s mother died just after her little sister was born. Apparently, her dad had died a year or so prior, and her mom was going out the same way. She managed to birth Celestia, then another child named Luna, but passed before she was able to hold her youngest daughter. The two were taken in by relatives (some sources were saying cousins, some were saying uncle, while some were saying it wasn’t a relative at all). As it turned out, her foster parents weren’t too overjoyed to have two sudden fillies to account for.

They kept the sisters in their room, made them keep to themselves. The sisters never had any toys or friends growing up. All they had was each other and their shared love of figuring out how things worked. At the ages of seven and five, Celestia and Luna had taken apart their refrigerator, two television sets, a radio, and the house’s lone home desktop, then tried to put them all back together. Only thing they couldn’t quite get was one of the TV’s.

At the ages of twelve and ten, the sisters managed to steal and sell enough scrap from their house to afford their own personal computers. These computers were the sister’s only escape into a better reality. At that age, they decided that it was too late to try to learn to be social skills and hermitted themselves away. All they did was break that computer, fix it, and use it to make new things to break and fix. They stopped going to school very early, at ages fourteen for Celestia and fifteen for Luna. They were geniuses, but failed almost every class they ever took.

At the ages of twenty and eighteen, the two started their business. Under the name of Aitselec (which, as Celestia remembered fondly, Luna had instantly scorned her for coming up with such a stupid name. Celestia agreed it was dumb, which she saw as part of the charm), the two started to do everything computer-related under the sun: software, hardware, antivirus, OS, they even dabbled in the gaming industry (by “dabble”, I, of course, mean “revolutionized”, because their first attempt at gaming, a first-person puzzle/shooter, was the highest grossing video game for several years).

The Regal sisters had the idea of CCiOS very early into Aitselec’s life, but they never had the means to implement it until that game. Now they had the capital and the status, as well as the dream. CCiOS failed several times on many fronts: it was expensive to make, and the sisters have been recorded to have gone a total six years worth of working without pay to get it to come to pass. Besides the financial issues, there were concerns on the ethics of the system. With an OS controlling the entirety of the city, we were one evil corporation away from an attempt to conquer the world.

Somehow, they managed to get Canterlot City on board for what Celestia described as “one part public service, one part social experiment, two parts complete madness”, and the Canterlot City Internal Operating System came to be, all by the nice, cozy ages of fifty-one and forty-nine. Celestia, unsurprisingly, made no mention of TW1 or NK. All she said was that she was happy to have seen her life’s work come to pass.

Then, tragedy struck. As it turns out, the very same infection that claimed their mother’s life had come for them, as well. The disease was, at the time, very mysterious, as well as fatal and untreatable. The sisters were devastated when they were told they had six months to live.

“One of the strange quirks of working with computers all your life is this delusion of immortality,” Celestia stated in an interview. “My sister and I felt that we would live for as long as our code did. For about a month after the diagnosis, we had convinced ourselves that we would live forever. The reality was far too harsh to admit.”

Celestia and Luna, the sensible ponies they are, decided to do what they perceived to be the only logical thing to do when faced with a six-month death sentence: They cryogenically froze themselves until such time as they could be cured. That time was just a week ago, and the sisters reemerged to the public.

The kicker of this story? Celestia and Luna Regal were born over a hundred years ago. It was amazing to think about, but it was definitely true. Nopony had seen Luna yet, but it was assumed that she was similar to her sister, albeit less sociable. Based on past accounts, Celestia eventually grew to have quite the silver tongue, and a natural knack for speech, despite how much she hated public speaking. Luna, however, was a true hermit; Until Celestia arrived, nopony knew she had even existed.

“Twi, have you found anything about the whole Princess thing?” I asked. Twi buzzed negatively.

“Sorry, Aiden. She doesn’t make any mention of the word,” said Twi, an edge of frustration in her normally calm and even voice. “I’ve poured over her speeches over and over again, but I can’t seem to find anything! There’s not enough records of her talking, I can’t make a baseline for her preferred dialect! She’s never said the word ‘princess’ once, I need to learn what significance that holds… Oh, this is so annoying! Why program me to say it for no reason?! Ugh, this going going to drive me crazy!”

“Alright, alright, calm down, TW1,” I sighed. I didn’t want her straining herself over something like this. “We’ll figure it out later, okay? For now, I need your help figuring this out. Something about what Regal has been saying doesn’t sit right with me.”

“What do you mean?”

I saved my videos and stood up, powering off the desktops. Truth is, even anarchist hackers got hungry sometimes, and I hadn’t eaten in two days. I needed to get something in me before I fainted.

“I can’t quite place it. I just feel like she’s… she’s lying about something,” I said, scratching my head. “I don’t know why, or even about what, but something about her seems shady.” I thought about what I just said, which was a contender for “Most Obvious Statement of the Year”. 

“Do you say that because of something she said?” asked Twi. “Or just because she’s CEO of Aitselec?”

“A little of both. Come on, Twi, I need to get something to eat before I keel over,” I snickered. “NK, keep up the good work. You’re pretty helpful when you focus on running protocols other than the file YourMouth.exe.”

“Oh, oh, oh!” chimed Pinkie. “Something just came in, thought you might wanna know about it. We got a message!”

“Show it,” I commanded.

“Sure thing, Boss,” I would soon tell her to never call me that again. She would ignore me.

“Displaying message.”

010010000110010101101100011011000110111100101100001000000100110101110011001011100010000001000001011010010110011101101111.

“Again with this binary. Last time I got a code like this…” I found myself vaguely excited. If this is when TW1 got here, maybe this time, I’d be getting another AI to help me destroy the CCiOS.

“Twi, translate this for me,” I ordered. Twi buzzed her agreement, ran the numbers through the dictionary like lightning, and then read it back to me. I was glad that I decided to translate it before I got some food, because I probably would’ve lost my lunch.

“Hello, Ms. Aigo,” said Twilight softly. “And it’s coming from Aitselec HQ.”

Hacking CCiOS was my life, my entire world. Heaven for me would be a world in which Aitselec finally goes under. That would make Celestia Regal my world’s version of Satan. Knowing that your devil breaks through all your defenses just to leave a snide, smarmy comment does an amazing job of ruining your appetite.
> An Offer Not To Be Refused
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Oh, this was bad. So very, very bad. I instantly went on to full-out panic mode. As soon as Twi read the message, I shouted at her to remove all evidence of my existence; Cancel the orders, delete all the data I stole on Aitselec, return the money, and delete anything else that showed me as a pony. NK deleted my social security number, cleared my birth records, removed me from Aitselec’s blacklist, cleared my record, took me off the wanted list, everything was gone within two minutes.

Then the second message came.

“Would you care for some coffee?” said Twi. “What do you think that means?” I didn’t have the foggiest idea and, at that moment, I didn’t care. All I was concerned with was what country I could run off to, and when could I get there. This was the end of me, the end of my quest to end CCiOS, the end of my coding and hacking career, the end of me. If half of the stories I’ve heard/made up about what Aitselec does to ponies who cross them, I’d be lucky if they killed me right now.

“TW1, I need to leave,” I said panickedly. “I need tickets out of town, and I need them now! Can you hook me up?”

“Downloading tickets to Griffonstone now,” said NK, with an oddly dejected tone. “Flight 125 departs from Canterlot City Airport in two hours, which should give you enough time to get your affairs in order.” I was confused by her sudden departure from her usual, cheery demeanor, and a little frightened. Could Celestia be tampering with her remotely? Maybe she was listening to me right now, and sending a couple of her goons to Griffonstone to wait for me.

That’s when I had the epiphany that should’ve been common sense from the moment I unlocked TW1.  It was also the epiphany that confirmed NK’s fears.

“What’s wrong, Pinkie?” asked TW1. “This isn’t like you. Even when things get hard, you never stop laughing.”

“Don’t you get it, Twilight? This is the end,” said Pinkie. She turned on the projector and “stepped out” of the Interface. Only difference is that her coat and mane were darker, and her hair was a flat waterfall down her head. “It’s over for us.”

“What do you mean?”

“She means… Well, I can’t take you with me,” I said, peeling off my Interface gently. “But I can’t leave you here alone, either. There’s only one thing I can do.”

Twilight joined us in physical form, just in time for me to see her expression change from immense confusion to disgusted horror. She opened her mouth a few times, but, apparently, I had just rendered the greatest AI ever programmed, programmed to be able to respond to any prompt, speechless.

“You… You’re going to…” TW1 struggled for a bit to get the words together in her head. “You’re going to kill us?”

“I can’t kill you, because you’re not alive. You’re not real,” I said, as if that somehow justified my plan. “I have to delete you. You have to obey the orders of whoever finds you, and when it’s Aitselec, the first thing they’ll ask you for is my location.”

“You can take us with you!” begged NK, in a futile, last-ditch effort. “We… We can hide you, like I was doing earlier, but better this time! You don’t have to delete us, not if you really don’t want to!”

“For all I know, your very existence is what’s leading her to me. I can’t take that risk,” I said grimly. The looks on their faces, the fear, the sorrow, depression, it was almost too much for me to handle. “If there was another way, I’d do that, but I just can’t risk getting caught. If they find me, I will go to jail, maybe for life.”

Twi wanted to argue. I could tell by how tightly her jaw was clenched. She was losing some of her sorrow and replacing it with anger. Apparently, swearing at me would count as disobeying my orders. I felt awful, like the worst pony in Equestria. I was about to snuff out two lives to save my own skin. Part of my brain reminded me that they’re not real. They were just AI, a collection of voice recordings programmed to play in response to certain stimulus. 

The other part of my brain knew that they were more than that. In a lot of ways, TW1 was more of a real pony than I was. Not as obsessive or petty as me. Not a criminal. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. And I was about to murder her. That’s all this was, murder, but saying “delete” was an attempt to trick myself into thinking it was no biggie. It was monumental, of course, and I couldn’t make it right, no matter how hard I tried.

“TW1, 91-NK13, delete-"

KNOCK! KNOCK!

I quickly ordered the two AI to hide in the Interface, then I went to answer the door. On a scale of one to ten, my panic was at a solid thirty-six, so I was expecting the worst. The police, the SWAT, National Guard, military, Regal herself to come stick her horn were the sun don’t shine. I just knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would open that door and an Aitselec goon would be on the other side, aiming some manner of weapon right between my eyes.

But it was just the delivery guy again.

“Hey, I’m back,” said Logi nervously. “Look, I know I said that I’d forget all about you, but there was this last package here, and it was marked ‘URGENT’, so I thought I’d get it to you before I… That is to say, before I… Ahem. Go on my extended vacation.”

It was a bomb. I just knew it, it had to be. Regal sent me a mail bomb. I’d open the package and a bomb strong enough to level a small building (a high school, perhaps) would detonate, wiping out all evidence of my ever being there.

But damn, was I curious. I took the box from Logi and told him to stay disappeared this time. By the time he shut the door, I had already started ripping off the tape that kept the box closed. Sitting on a bed of packing peanuts was some sort of visor, made of some sort of white metal or plastic with a sheet of black glass to cover your eyes. The visor was mostly plain, save for the yellow sun emblazoned on either side. Enclosed with the visor were two soft soft orbs the size of marbles, a note, and what appeared to be a wireless adapter of some sort.

“What’s that you got there?” asked TW1 bitterly. “Kill codes?

“I… I’m sorry. Truly, I am,” I said. “But we don’t have time to talk about that right now. I swear, I’ll make this right, just tell me what this is first.”

“No clue. No files on it, from what I can tell,” she said, but without any of her usual enthusiasm. “What I can tell is that you put the visor on, put the orbs in your ears, and flip on the switch to the adapter. Something will probably happen.” 

I quickly did as Twi had said, resting the visor on my face. It fit perfectly, which led me to believe that it was custom-made. I slipped the orbs into my ears, tapping them gently, then picked up the adapter. I flipped the switch, and waited in anxious anticipation.

“Anything?” I asked. “What’s happening?”

“Nothing, because you have to turn it on first,” suggested Twi. “The logo on the side.”

I tapped the sun with my hoof nervously, prepared for anything to happen. There was a soft buzzing in my ears, and I felt the visor heat slightly. Two thin beams of red light scrolled down my eyes, then from left to right, then up to down again. It repeated, gaining speed, until my vision was so burned with red that I couldn’t see any of my lab.

Then, I was in a cafe, with a cappuccino in my hoof. I looked around panickedly, nearly dropping the coffee in the process. I’d never seen this coffee joint before; There were only a half-dozen table, all on the patio just outside of the building I was in. The inside was almost entirely empty, save for the order counter and employee areas. There wasn’t a single cafe like it in all of Canterlot City.

A green arrow appeared on the ground, pointing out of the door. Due to my lack of better direction, I carefully set the coffee down and trotted to the front door. I put my hoof to the handle and appeared on the other side, as if by magic. For some reason unknown to me, I could only think of numbers at that time: the numbers 1-6. No words, no thoughts, no feelings. Just numbers, and the strange feeling that I should be choosing. I concentrated on number five, my favorite number, and soon found myself in the fifth farthest table back , with two guests.

One, Celestia Regal, had a massive, extremely entertained smile on her face. The other was a unicorn that I could only identify through means of deduction. Her mane was a bit longer and more tamed than Celestia’s, and it was a solid turquois as opposed to the trio of colors. Her coat was a bit of a darker blue to match her eyes, which had an intense, almost angry glare to them. If I had to guess, I’d say that this mare was Luna Regal.

“Hello, Ms. Aigo,” said Celestia. “Do you know who we are?”

“Ms. Celestia and Ms. Luna Regal, the sisters behind CCiOS,” I said, unsure of how to play this. I decided “cool” would be the best course.

“Very good. We know all about you, of course,” said Celestia. “You used to work for my company. Now, you’re a vagrant criminal with a rather juicy case file. I peeked, hope you don’t mind.” She smiled evilly at me. “And, please, just Celestia will do fine.”

“Though I do prefer Ms. Regal,” chimed Luna. I nodded, then leaned forward in my chair. Play it cool, Aiden.

“So… You wanted to see me,” I said. “That’s pretty obvious. But for what?” Celestia looked at me incredulously, then shook herself awake. She knew better. She saw my bluff, and she’d push it, hard.

“Alright, let’s skip the bit where you try to subtly hint at your desire to negotiate,” said Regal, losing most of her former good-natured humor. “You have something I want. At least two somethings, in fact. My AI. I’m willing to pay you a hilarious amount of money for them back.” It was at that moment that I realized “playing it cool” was synonymous with “playing dumb”.

“AI? What kind of AI?” I asked. “I wasn’t aware you made AI.” Luna scowled at me, and it looked as if she was already tired of my nonsense.

“Do not toy with us, child,” she spat. “Give us-”

“Thank you, Luna, but I have matters well in-hoof,” said Celestia, with amazing coolness to counterbalance Luna’s rage. “Ms. Aigo, I know you have my AI, and I just want them back. I will give you five million credits for them.”

“No clue what you’re talking about,” I lied. “I’d love to take your money, but I don’t even know what it is you’re trying to buy from me.”

“Five billion, with a ‘b’, as well as impunity from your long list of felonies,” said Celestia. “And, to seal the deal, I’ll give you all that, and a job.”

“Beg pardon?”

“Aiden, your termination from Aitselec was a sin,” said Celestia, her eyes leaking remorse. “Had I been of sound mind and body to run my own company, you never would have left my employ. If you give me my AI back, I’ll clear your name, give you a 5 billion credit start-up bonus, and I’ll triple whatever your salary was to begin with. Just give me the AI and forget all about them.”

I’m not going to lie, I considered her offer for a bit. For far longer than I should have, honestly. I knew that it was a trap instantly, of course, but five billion bits? And impunity? And my old job back? That was a lot to deny, and for what? Two AI who currently hate my guts? As I thought on it, I realized that was all the more reason to protect them from Regal.

“Like I said, I’d love to take your money,” I said. “I’d love my old job back, and impunity from crimes I never committed. Unfortunately, I don’t have any AI to give you.” The look of annoyance on Celestia’s face egged me on, and I couldn’t resist continuing. “Also, I don’t negotiate with the devils at Aitselec. If CCiOS works for you, I’ll be doing everything in my power to work against you.” To my displeasure, Celestia actually began to chuckle. Luna was still silently glaring, to the point where I wondered why she was even here.

“Why do you hate my company?” asked Celestia. “CCiOS is like a child to me. Why must you bully her?”

“I don’t trust anything that has all the information,” I said. That wasn’t just to get under her skin, either. “That means they have the most secrets. Why do you need CCiOS, anyway? Why do you get to control it?”

Celestia didn’t answer immediately, instead opting to stare off for a bit. She was gathering her thoughts, trying to form her lies in a more believable way. Just when I thought she’d never speak, she rose to her hooves and started pacing, never straying more than four hooves from the table.

“Do you believe in God, Ms. Aigo?” asked Celestia heavily.

“No more or no less than the next mare,” I answered neutrally. Celestia smirked faintly, because she knew what I was referencing.

“So you saw that interview, eh? Well, that answer was more for the public than what I actually believe,” said Celestia. “You know how it goes, PR wants me to be entirely down the middle, showing no preference or distaste for anything.”

“Good thing PR isn’t here. Do you believe in God, Celestia?” Regal trotted around the table again, lingering behind me for a few counts longer than I was comfortable with.

“Not yet,” she said ominously. “Because, you see, most ponies’ concept of God is wrong. God cannot be Equine, or even Equine-like. He cannot have preference, he cannot make a choice based on belief, he cannot even be a he, for a true God is formless, genderless.”

“So, I should be dropping the ‘Ms.’ when I talk to you?” I scoffed. This was bordering action-movie levels of insane supervillain. Regal rolled her eyes, apparently annoyed that I had missed her point.

“Were you not listening?” asked Luna. “She just said that God cannot have form. That means God either has to be an invisible force, or-”

“Data,” I finally put it together. “You think you can turn a computer into God. And you want me to help.”

“No, I want you to stay out of my affairs. You should never have found TW1,” said Celestia. “She wasn’t supposed to emerge until after I recovered, but it seems she’s gotten too smart even for me. It was an unfortunate accident that she happened into your hooves, as evidenced by your attempt to murder my life’s work.”

“She’s not breathing, so it’s not murder,” I said, still forcing myself to ignore the obvious flaws with my logic. “And, whatever murder attempt you’re referring to must’ve failed, because I haven’t killed anyone or anything.” 

Celestia really didn’t like that bit. Even though I knew we weren’t in the same room, I felt extremely threatened by the glare she gave me. She wanted to hurt me, and, based on the lingering bitterness in her eyes, she’d soon find a way.

“This is the last time I’m going to offer,” said Celestia firmly. “Take it, Aigo. I promise you, if you refuse me again, I will make things very difficult for you. Please, consider the deal I am going to make you. All for two ponies you know and understand so little that you actually refuse to acknowledge that they’re ponies at all.”

We stared at each other, trying to get each other to fold. I had another moment of weakness, when I seriously considered giving TW1 over to Regal. I really didn’t want Celestia Regal and, by extension, all of Aitselec as my enemy. I wasn’t quite sure if Twi was worth risking prison time or my life for. Somehow… I found the need to protect her, at least until I could ask her what she wanted. Maybe she’d rather be in Regal’s control. That wasn’t a decision I could make without consulting the AI in question first.

“I’m sorry, but I haven’t seen any AI,” I said flatly. “If I find her, I’ll be sure to let you know. Will that be all, Celestia?”

“Ms. Regal, if you don’t mind terribly,” said Celestia angrily. “And, yes, that’s about all. Just understand that you and I are now enemies. I am normally a very forgiving and remorseful person.”

“You, however, made the unfortunate mistake of meddling with one of the few things Celestia actually cares about,” said Luna. “And, when it comes to the ones she loves, she is anything but. Goodbye, Aiden Aigo.”

The cafe seemed to fade away into a bright white light, burning my eyes slightly. Slowly but surely, the white light darkened into shadows of a vaguely visible room. I had to blink several times, but color eventually returned, obscured slightly by the dark glass of the visor. I delicately pulled off the visor and laid it gently on the floor. Only reason I didn’t smash it right then and there was because I could use the parts for something else later.

“Hello, Aiden,” said Twi stiffly. “You met with Celestia, didn’t you? How much did she pay you for me? How long did you barter her up for more, hm? How much am I worth to you?”

“She offered me five billion credits, a clean record, and my job back,” I said. “I refused, because I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go with her before I just gave you away.”

“Oh, how thoughtful of you,” she said scathingly. “No, I do not want to go with Princess Celestia. That said, I don’t really want to stay with you, either. Quite a dilemma, huh?”

“You know I can’t let you go, and she’ll find you if I put you back…” I said. “How about you go into sleep mode for a couple of days while I get things in order. I’ll try to make things better.” It was obvious that Twi didn’t want to give me the satisfaction of doing anything I asked, but she couldn’t really disobey. Still, she decided to try and prolong the process for as long as she could. Finally, after buzzing for a solid minute, she beeped loudly in disconfirmation.

“Security protocols prevent me from leaving you entirely without AI assistance,” said Twi. “And, given how horribly you scarred Pinkie, she’s not fit to leave sleep mode at this time. Guess we’re stuck with each other.”

“Disable that protocol, and go to sleep.”

“Is that an order?”

“If it has to be,” I said. Twi hummed faintly, then gave an affirmative beep. Without another word, she entered Sleep Mode. That was the last time I spoke to my AI assistant for the next three weeks. In that time, I laid low, only leaving my lair for food and to arrange shipments through Flim and Flam. By the end of the second week, I had already made tangible process on the first of the androids I was meant to build for Twi. It wasn’t easy, but I knew that it’d ultimately be worth it. I’d need her to be happy with me if I wanted to get out of this mess in one piece. Trying to re-befriend somepony you just tried to kill was easier said than done.
> A-J4K & RBW-DSH
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	I only had them for a day or so, but as soon as I lost my AI, I felt the blow. I didn’t know if I’d ever regain their trust or friendship. Frankly, my planning and working didn’t allow me the time to even think about it. Looking at it now, three weeks is a long time to remain in the same spot, but it made perfect sense at the time. I had to give Celestia the impression that I was genuinely contemplating her offer. Running away would kill that mirage. So, for the first couple of days, I was just writing programs that I could potentially use for the coming storm.

That strategy wouldn’t hold for long. After the first week and a half, I was repeatedly stricken with the fear that today was the day that Regal would kick down my door and pull my right out my computer lab. Every day was a new crisis, and every night was my last one in my own bed (when I first acquired the place, I moved a mattress into the gymnasium). I was constantly on high alert, even though I knew that each knock was less likely to be a trained merc-for-hire than it was for it to be Flim and/or Flam, who I had requested arrive at that particular time.

I never especially liked the twins. I always saw them as a necessary evil, the only way for me to get hardware while remaining hidden. We had our spats, and they were two of the sleaziest, greasiest ponies I’d ever met, but they did their jobs well. In the end, I guess that was enough for me. However, when I started having them deliver sheets of artificial nerve tissue to my lair, they developed a surprising sense of tact and empathy. They seemed to understand that I was currently up a creek, and they were doing their best to hook me up with a paddle. The twins were kinder than usual, had less of their little song-and-dance routine, and they even cut me some deals. At the time, I couldn’t process any of that enough to thank them. I was too busy planning my next move.

I needed to leave Canterlot City. That was obvious. But where to go? Griffonstone was officially out of the question, because Regal would most certainly be waiting for me there. I couldn’t go to Ponyville, which was my second choice. Far too close for my liking and, as it turns out, the Regals are pretty fond of the place. I finally decided that I’d go to a place I swore never to visit. The last bastion of “The Old Ways”. The one little village that wasn’t quite yet owned by Aitselec. I’m talking, of course, about Appleloosa.

Before I left, I took the time to properly inspect the materials Twi had ordered while she was sleeping the first time. I swiped up a couple of the high-powered motherboards and slipped them into static-resistant saddlebags. I’d definitely be needing those. I had no clue what the DNA scanner could be used for, so I left that be. The magnets, projectors, and belt, on the other hoof, I knew exactly what they could be used for.

Twi had clearly studied the cameras that had been there to record the Aitselec press conference, and had wanted to see if we could make use of the same principle. It wasn’t difficult to combine the cameras and the magnets and attach them to the nickel-steel belt. If I so chose, the magnets would power on and push itself away from everything, using the belt as an anchor and steering mechanism. That means Twi and NK’s projections would have a larger range of freedom, able to move hundreds of hoofs from me while still maintaining an Equine appearance.

Not much else of what she had ordered was immediately useful or intuitive to bring with me on the trek I was about to endure. On day 19 of total AI silence, I placed a very special order to Flim and Flam. They nervously agreed to my request, and a steel box, about the size of an average laptop, was soon deposited at my front door. Taped to the box was a set of numbers, a radio frequency. I thanked them for their help and discretion, then told them to scram. As they were leaving, I packed up the things I could take with me. 

My screwdriver, a spare Interface, the sheets from the twins, the visor from Regal (after I searched it for a tracker), and some spare bit cartridges, each holding a laughably small amount of capital. My PIN code decrypter was no good anymore, since Regal came back and souped up her security. After a depressingly short five minutes, I had packed up all my belongings of any importance. I left the box on a computer desk and quietly trotted out of the computer lab, down the stairs, and out the side door of the school. I calmly made my way a few blocks south, and tapped my Interface to pull up a radio transmitter. I punched in the frequency and sent out a return signal that detonated the incendiary bomb in my lair and scorched any evidence of my being there.

I sighed, then kept on walking. It would be a long trip from Canterlot City to Appleloosa. I punched at my Interface, pulling up the special program I wrote up a few days prior. It was a modified search engine that could search for any mention of any particular set of keywords in real time, with the ability to filter out certain results using specific criteria. I searched “AI”, “Aiden”, “Aigo”, and “Hacker”, and filtered out any items that had to do with games or films or things of that nature. For the time being, I was in the clear.

That program stayed running throughout my journey to the south, and not much came up, except for the little rumor that Aitselec might start dabbling in AI. I made note of it in my mind, but never gave it a whole lot of thought. My insane paranoia was making it hard to focus on anything but getting to where I needed to go. I only had five hundred credits, which wasn’t enough to last me all the way to Appleloosa. I’m not proud of it, but I had to resort to actual petty theft. It was different than how I used to steal. It was way more personal to pickpocket a cartridge out of somepony’s saddlebag. What freaked me out the most was how easy it was. Not just the actual action, but how easy it was for me to make the decision to rob somepony, to pick somepony out as a target. To victimize them.

I never stayed in the same town more than two days. A night here, a night there, grab some food today, do a full night trek, sleep for a day. My already-erratic sleep schedule was thrown even further out of whack. I developed a terrified variety of insomnia, as opposed to my insane, baselessly panicked kind. I felt like I was going to drop dead from exhaustion poisoning. I was so tired and stressed that I didn’t notice or care that I had just made up that term.

After that shitstorm of moral dilemmas, I finally found myself in the next town, my final destination. The desert wasteland, where most advanced tech was all but outlawed. The hot, sandy, dry safe haven Appleloosa. As I stood at the boundaries of the quaint little town’s gate, I felt a strange sense of discomfort and unfamiliarity. Don’t mince my words, here. I’m not saying I had any sort of fondness for Canterlot, nor did I think it was any better or worse of a place than anywhere else in Equestria. But looking at Appleloosa made me feel like I was on an alien planet.

There was one, count em, one skyscraper in the entire town. From what I gathered, it wasn’t even in use anymore, and it mostly stood as a memorial. There were houses, real, actual houses, not like Canterlot’s many apartment complexes. There were so few ponies in the town that I had seen everypony within six hours of being there. There was a single motel, mostly empty. So much so that the guy working the desk nearly cried when he saw me. This place still used mostly paper records, instead of their ancient Interfaces. He gave me a key to my room (number 212), accepted my pay, and escorted me to my room. It was still in the early hours of the morning (twilight, actually, which I had learned out of obsessive research), so I figured I’d take a little nap before I got to work. At around six, the lobby guy knocked on my door and offered me a tray of hay, hotcakes, bacon (vegetarian, of course), hashbrowns, tea, coffee, water, and OJ, all on the house. Gotta love that Southern Hospitality.

I swallowed the breakfast, which was admittedly pretty mediocre. Still, you can’t beat free, so, in retrospect, it was a damn fine meal. After breakfast, I asked the guy where I could get some computer parts. He basically laughed in my face, because, apparently, the answer to the question “Where in Appleloosa can I find some computer parts?” is “Go buck yourself, we don’t sell that crap here, go back to Canterlot”. The guy never said that, obviously, but I kinda felt like he did.

So, I had to reach out to another dark place I vowed never to visit again. The internet. But not just any part of the internet. Oh, no, that’d be far too easy. See, there is actually a secret, sub-internet known as the Deep Web. This is where you find some… questionable sites. I’m talking hyper-realistic murder confession stories and foal pornography. It also had some rewarding sites, if you could find the Deep Web and not go insane. I called up an old contact who could hook me up with some hardware without drawing attention to myself. Best part about him is that he operates on a “pay it forward” mentality. He’d help me get my stuff as long I vowed to help somepony else who came my way in need. Yeah, the guy was nuts, and I only had slight moral problems with taking advantage of that fact. If I’m being perfectly frank, screwing over that guy was the least of my worries. 

Three weeks after Twi went to sleep (well, twenty-four days, to be exact), things began to look up. I was sitting in my room, tapping away at my Interface and doing as much work as possible with my limited hardware. I needed to devise a steady way to get money, and stealing from the townsfolk wasn’t gonna cut it.  I was just finishing a phony application for an online IT job when my Interface started to hum. I gasped in excitement, waiting to hear Twi’s voice again, so I could apologize for being so goddamn stupid.

“Mixing… Mixing complete,” said a voice that was most certainly not Twi. This one had a heavy Southern accent. “Adjusting Avatars. Setting Avatars as Defaults 3 and 4. Personalities saved. Now operating at 80% capacity.”

Two of the magnetic projectors in my saddlebags turned themselves on, and floated up out of the bags. They beamed out a thin plane of light, shimmering into view two brand new mares. One of them was an orange Earth pony, who seemed to be a living stereotype. Blonde hair, toned, wearing a freaking cowboy hat. Her eyes departed from the classic blue-eyed archetype most associated with rednecks in favor of a bright emerald green. I could tell by the way she carried herself that she was likely older than Twi, and definitely older than her companion.

The other mare was a pegasus of a cyan coat. This one was a walking Love Wins rally, a mane and tail of rainbow colors. She wore a short, boy-ish, unkempt hairstyle, the type you see on a semi-professional runner or racer. The Earth pony wasn’t mean-mugging or anything, but she was taking life a bit more seriously than the pegasus. She had this shit-eating grin on constantly, as if she was waiting for me to get the joke.

“How many of there are you?” I asked.

“Seven,” said the Earth pony. She blinked sharply. “Woo-hoo! Hot diggity, we couldn’t have said that two weeks ago! Yer unblockin us real good, Ms. Aigo.”

“Not bad, kid,” said the pegasus, even though she seemed to have been programmed to be younger than me. 

“Two new AI… Maybe you guys can talk to the others for me,” I said. “You guys do know the others, right? TW1 and NK?”

“NK?” asked the Earth pony. “Oh, Ah getch’a, y’all must be talkin bout Pinkie! Me an’ that girl, we go way back, one of my best friends.”

“Where’d they go?” asked the pegasus. “I don’t think Pinkie could ever be quiet for this long, especially when one of her friends show up.”

I was hesitant to tell them what happened to them. I mean, Twi and NK had a pretty good reason to leave, besides my telling them to. There was no guarantee that these two would be any different. I decided that I’d skate around the truth, just for a bit. Until I could get them on my side.

“She and Twi are doing something very important for me,” I said. Not technically a lie. “Tell me about you guys. Who are you?”

“Well, Ah’m-”

“I’m the greatest Artificial Intelligence you’ve ever seen in your life!” cut in the pegasus. “Faster than fast, quicker than quick, able to zip through the toughest firewalls in a matter of seconds! The best in the business at what I do! The best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be, the-”

“Ah think she gets it,” said the Earth pony. “Yer gonna have forgive her. She’s a coupla braeburns short of a bushel, if you know what Ah mean.” She turned to her companion and smacked her upside the head. “Just tell tha nice lady yer name, dummy.”

“Ugh. Fine,” said the pegasus, massaging her head, as if she actually felt the smack. She adopted the trademark robotic tinge to her voice. “I am designation RBW-DSH, originally programmed to aid the TW1 Artificial Intelligence in controlling the Canterlot City Internal Operating System. My real name is Rainbow Dash, but most people call me RD.“

“Ah am A-J4K, originally blah blah blah,” said the Earth pony, giving me a glinting smile. “Applejack, glad to meet’cha. Most folks call me Aj nowadays. An’ you? Yer Aiden, ain’t you? The hell is a techie like you doin all tha way down here, in tha land of my kin?”

“Your… kin?” I asked. “What does that mean?”

“Ah’m an Appleloosa mare, born an’ raised. S’far as Ah can tell, this place is still as ol’ fashioned as ever,” said Aj. “Don’t know what a gal like you is doin here.”

“Laying low for now,” I said. “Uh… So, we got an Appleloosa mare here, but what about you, RD?”

“Cloudsdale for a bit, then I moved down to Ponyville,” said RD. “Nice place if you need to get away and see some friendly faces. Should’ve gone there instead.”

This really troubled me. The AI were getting too real for my taste. They somehow got into their minds that they had hometowns, and they managed to develop opinions about a place they never could’ve been, as if they had experience with it. What could that possibly mean? Celestia programmed these AI impeccably well. I’d even hazard to say she programmed them too well. 

“Trust me, there’s a good reason that I’m in this dusty craphole,” I said. “Uh… No offense, Aj. I need one of you to go into the system and fetch Twi for me. Can you do that for me?”

“On it!” declared RD. I think I blinked twice before she reported back. “She says that there can only be two active AI at any given time, for safety reasons or some crap like that.”

“Then one of us is gonna have ta skiddaddle,” said Aj. She and RD made eye contact, each of them wearing a determined, competitive smirk.

Suddenly, a wooden table appeared just in front of the bed. The two mares rushed over to either end, throwing their front leg onto the flat service. The two grasped hooves, waited for some countdown that only the were aware of, and began to hoof-wrestle. I was both confused and amused, and a little bit curious. I wondered how they were able to compete like this, considering each of the AI seemed to be mostly equal in abilities. Perhaps Regal based the two off of two real-life best friends and developed an algorithm to determine which would be most likely to win under any given circumstance, and ran it behind this little demonstration of “strength”. If that was the case, the odds were stacked in the Earth pony’s favor, because she won with fairly little effort.

“Damn! Oh, well,” sighed RD. “I wanted to talk to Pinkie Pie, anyway. See ya later, guys.” Her image (along with the table’s) faded away, only to be replaced a few seconds later with Twi. She gave Applejack a small smile, then turned to glare at me.

“Hello, Applejack,” she said coldly. “It’s nice seeing you again.”

“Uh… You alright, sugarcube?” asked Aj. “Ah’m sensing a lil trouble in paradise here. What exactly went down before me and Dash got here?”

“She tried to kill us, Applejack. She almost deleted me and Pinkie,” said Twi. She wanted to shout, that much was obvious. Her programming seemed to be making her hold back some of her feelings.

“Whoa, now, don’t y’all think that’s a bit of a harsh thing ta say?”

“Aj… She’s right. I was going to delete her,” I said. Oh, you should’ve seen her face. I’ve never seen a face fall from hopeful contentment to terrified anger so quickly.

“Y’all got ten seconds to explain to me why Ah shouldn’t take mah girls an’ leave right now,” said Aj. “An’, just so ya know, Ah’d be kickin yer ass right now, were Ah able. So, spit. What made you think it was alright to threaten mah girls?”

I didn’t have anything to say at first. Honestly, I was a bit afraid of Aj. She never shouted, but, unlike Twi, it was a choice. She was angry, but calm. Controlled. Aj glared at me, daring me to lie to her. I didn’t know what she would do to me, or even what she could do. If I really wanted to, I could lie to her face. I could order Twi and NK to forget all about that little stunt. But, then, that would make me just as bad as those ponies I so despised, who could and would manipulate anypony they wanted to to meet their own ends. That would be a very Aitselec move, one that I would never forgive a pony for.

“It wasn’t okay,” I said. “It was a shitty thing to do. Even though I know I don’t deserve it, I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

Oh, you would’ve thought I was the greatest comedian since Groucho Marx, the way TW1 laughed at me. It was an angry, spiteful laugh as opposed to a genuinely humorous one. I was expecting that, and I expected her to mock and scorn my apology. What I didn’t expect was for her laughter to last as long as it did.

“You really think that’s going to be enough for me?” asked Twi. “After you threatened to kill me and my friends? You think you can just win me over with some half-baked apology? That’s bull[CENSORED].” I didn’t know she could get that close to swearing, but she almost got it out.

“I know that sounds weak, but I really am sorry,” I said. “I don’t want anything to happen to you guys, and I need you to help me protect you. Can we put this past us?” To my shock, Aj came to my defense.

“Twilight, give cut ‘er some slack,” said Aj. “She done apolergized, an’ that’s bout all we can ask. She means it, too.” Something told me that it’d be inappropriate to drop to my knees and thank Aj by kissing her hooves and babbling incoherently, but that’s about how I felt.

“Don’t you get it, Aj?” asked Twi bitterly. “As soon as things get rough, when she goes into another one of her crazy paranoia trips, she’s going to delete us. This time, we might not be so lucky.

I had an idea. It was a crazy idea, one that could very much bite my ass very soon. My plan would go against one of my biggest rules: Leave no evidence. It broke that rule so hard that it took me almost a full minute to swallow the fact that I even conceived the plan to begin with.

“TW1, can you delete and replace commands?” I asked. She nodded. “Good. Delete the order for self-termination and replace it with this: Upload video titled XX23-KILL.”

“There is no video with that title,” said Twi, tilting her head in confusion. “But it’s done. Do you want to record a video with that title?”

“Yeah. Record video,” I said. She booted up a third projector/camera that floated up out of my bag and hovered in front of me. A little red light bloomed on near the lens and, after a nod from Twi, I began what I would come to affectionately call my Vlog.

“My name is Aiden Aigo. I am 27 years old, and, until about a year ago, I used to work for the Aitselec corporation,” I said. “I was fired, for reasons they refuse to inform me of to this day. Since my unfair termination, I made it my civic duty to destroy CCiOS and bring down the corruption that was the Aitselec corporation. I began hacking through their firewalls and deleting any data I could. For the first six months, it was great for me.” 

This was the part where it got tough for me to admit. This was the incriminating part.

“That was when I mounted my first and last full-scale assault on CCiOS,” I continued. “Six months ago, I managed to shut down all of CCiOS for a full 96 minutes. I was ecstatic during the entirety of the CCiOS blackout. Then I found out that I was the direct cause of fourteen deaths and fifty five injuries in Canterlot City and Manehattan alone. This is my confession. Attached to this video is my current coordinates, and a full list of all the crimes I remember committing.”

I motioned for Twi to cut the video, which she did, but only after gawking at me for several seconds. When the camera finally powered down and returned to the bag, I realized that I might’ve just made the biggest mistake of my entire life. At that particular moment, I didn’t care, because it looked like Twi was about to forgive me.

“If I, Aiden Aigo, ever command you to delete yourself or any of the AI from CCiOS,” I said. “You upload that video instead, to everything in Equestria with a screen and Wi-fi. Now, forgive me or don’t, but we have to get moving soon. I have some parts coming in and I’m going to need your help to put them together. I picked up a little something from Flim and Flam to hopefully try to make some peace between us.”

Twi nodded, then promptly disappeared into my Interface. I was pretty sure that she was making plans and drawing blueprints. At least one of us will know what the hell we’re doing.
> A Machine That Follows Orders
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Boy, did I get some work done after that. Ironically, I made the most progress in the technical wasteland of Appleloosa. I managed to cobble together about half of an android, just like Twi had suggested a few weeks ago. Trouble was, I didn’t have anything to make it look like a real pony. Still, I snuck in some secret touches, one in particular, that was sure to give it just a little bit more of an Equine edge. I also tricked it out with some of what I’d like to call “defensive measures”. Besides the hardware fixes, I also uncovered an interesting quirk of the software.

As it turned out, each AI after Twilight came with a special function. I only figured this out a week after Twi and I made peace, when I was inspecting as much of their code as I was allowed to access (which wasn’t much). While poking around, I discovered the secret functions, each of which were named and could only be activated by a particular command (following their name) while that specific AI is active. NK’s function, Party Planner, was activated by the phrase “Let’s party”. It allowed her to near-instantaneously plan out up to fifteen years of my schedule, should I give her enough information and order to do so. She could create a list of points of interest, not unlike what Twi did before the press conference, and then use that as a baseline to find anything I might be interested in, make reservations, and direct me there.

Aj’s was Stonewall, which was basically the most advanced, impregnable firewall you could imagine. To activate it, all I had to do was utter the phrase “Raise this barn”. It was such a perfect defense that even I, the user, couldn’t take it down until the command had run out (which wasn’t for six hours). Then, we had RD’s, which was called Zapp, which I couldn’t actually test. Zapp, activated by the word “Rainboom”, was a digital blitzkrieg, rushing through firewalls and deleting/stealing every scrap of data possible in what she described as “ten seconds flat”. Which was cool enough. But there was more.

Twi technically didn’t come with one of those, but she could activate a killer one in all three of the others. As far as I knew, this was the only way for more than two AI to be actively working at the same time, and I couldn’t keep it up for long. However, if I needed everyone to be helping, as I did now, I could activate a command called “Harmony”. The activation phrase? “Dear Princess Celestia”. I wasn’t very fond of that, so I soon replaced it with “Crunch Time”, which I found to be more appropriate and far less creepy.

I needed to leave Appleloosa. That much was clear, but where else could I go? Going back to Canterlot would be suicide, but it was the only place I was at all familiar with. For a while, I considered following through with the original plan of Griffonstone, but I still suspected Celestia was watching that place. Every single place I could think of had problems, that problem being proximity. I couldn’t pick a place too close to Canterlot, or Regal would be on me like white on rice. That said, I needed to stay close enough that I could actually do something. I asked around, but nopony could give me anything solid.

“Where should we head?” I asked RD, three days after I had discovered the commands. She was the only one active at the time, as the other three were resting.

“I dunno,” she said, scratching her head. “I’d suggest Cloudsdale, but that has obvious issues.”

“Hm? And what’re those?” RD looked at me like I had totally lost my mind. It is probably all the same, because that was certainly a possibility.

“Cause you’re, uh…, an Earth pony?” suggested RD. 

“And you’re, uh…, a racist?” I returned. I wasn’t offended, not especially. I just found that to be an odd, out of character thing for her to say.

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” she scoffed. “All I’m saying is… Well, how are you going to get up there?”

“I’m going to take a train. What? Earth ponies can’t ride on trains?” I said. “Racist.”

“I’m not racist, I’m-... Hold on a minute, did you just say you’ll take a train?” I nodded in confirmation. “Take a train two-hundred hooves straight up? Just to melt through the cloud and fall back to the ground?”

“Two hundred hooves, my flank. What sort of city do you think Cloudsdale is?” I asked. “It’s right on the ground, just like Canterlot.”

“Dude, it’s a flying cloud-city! That’s why only pegasi live there, because we’re the only ones who can fly up to it!” exclaimed RD.

“Yeah, right, pegasi can fly. And unicorns can levitate, right?” I said sarcastically. “Earth ponies can control nature and whatnot? None of that stuff is true. Pegasi wings are just for show.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! Of course we can fly! Why else would we have these things?” asked RD, gesturing to her wings. I swear to God, she made them bigger to prove her point, but she refused to admit it.

“Prehistoric pegasi used their wings to attract a mate,” I said, listing off the drek I managed to recall from eighth-grade biology. “The bigger the wings and the straighter and shinier the feathers, the more likely a male pegasus will be found attractive by a female and allowed to reproduce.”

“What about reproducing?” said NK, who had apparently manifested from nothing. “What’re we talking about, here?”

“Nothing, nothing,” I said. “RD, you need a break? NK can take it from here.” RD was partial to “naps”, so she graciously accepted the offer to take one now. Soon, she vanished from view.

“I told you, if you want to come out, use your own projector,” I scolded. “I only bought 12.”

“Sorry, Boss. 91-NK13, reporting for duty!” she said, saluting. She loved doing that, even after I told her to knock it off.

“Don’t call me-… There’s no point, is there?” I sighed. “Whatever. NK, I need to get out of town and something to do. Let’s party.”

She reached into her mane and withdrew a small cannon, about the size of a bike or a scooter. The cylinder was baby blue, and it was magenta wheels decalled with daisies. Etched along the side were the words “P4RTY C4NN0N”. She grabbed a short piece of string near the rounded end of the cannon and pulled. With a loud boom, digital confetti burst from the mouth of the weapon.

“Using your given criteria, I have developed a series of schedules that may appeal to you,” said Pinkie, slightly robotically. “The first of which: Depart from Appleloosa now, at 11:08 AM and arrive at Cloudsdale at 8:30 PM today, I can make dinner reservations at a relatively unknown restaurant, to avoid suspicion, and you can be enjoying a meal by 8:45. At that point, you can either choose to find a place to sleep, of which I have found six and can make reservations for, or you can do reconnaissance on the nearest Aitselec corporation building, or you could inspect the Augmented Reality visor given to you by Celestia Regal, and return to your room by 10:00 to 11:00 PM, depending on traffic, hastiness, and walk speed-”

“The visor! I almost forgot!” I said. “Pause that schedule, I want to take a look at that thing now.” NK nodded, filing away what she had recited somewhere deep in her memory. I reached into my saddlebag and took out that visor, the ear-bud orbs, and the adapter. I slipped the orbs in my ears, flipped the switch on the adapter, and tapped the sun on the side of the visor. Thin planes of red light scrolled down my eyes, gaining speed with every pass. I was blinded by the red for a few seconds, then I was in the cafe again.

I dropped the cappuccino that I had appeared with and ran to the door. Again, I came across six tables and the feeling I should be picking. I picked five, again, and found myself sitting at the fifth-farthest table, just as I was before. I expected to be alone.

I was not.

“We were starting to believe that you would never show up,” said Luna blandly. “My sister had faith, but I’ve always been more of a skeptic than she.”

I didn’t say anything, which seemed to suit Luna just fine. She was a perfect contrast to her sister, in just about every way. While Celestia was charming, energetic, and even humorous, Luna was dull and even. Awkward, I’d say.

“Few ponies these days understand that, often times, doing nothing is the best action,” said Luna. “It’s very rare for those who have nothing to say to remain silent.”

“What do you know about ‘ponies these days’?” I asked. “Didn’t you just get here?” Luna rolled her eyes in annoyance.

“And, just like that, you dashed any semblance of my respect,” said Luna. “You have very few redeeming qualities, Ms. Aigo. You are careless, paranoid, cowardly, and far less intelligent than you would like to believe.” Her tone of voice wasn’t malicious, as if she were trying to hurt my feelings or get under my skin (she did a lot of the latter). She was simply stating facts as she saw them.

“Hm. I’ll accept paranoid and careless,” I said plainly. “And I would never, ever deny being a coward.” I tapped my temple with my hoof. “But intelligence is sort of my thing. I agree, my good traits are few and far in between. But when I’m good, I’m good.”

“Then why did it take you so long to inspect this visor again?” asked Luna. “It’s been weeks, and not once have you even powered it on. I’m willing to wager that you don’t even understand what this is.”

“An Augmented Reality chatroom programmed to resemble a coffeehouse. It’s a play on the idea of an internet cafe, because your sister has a notoriously odd sense of humor.”

If Luna was impressed, she didn’t especially show it. She just sort of tilted her head at me, amazed that I had even opened my mouth.

“And how much of that did you get from my sister’s AI?” It was a rhetorical question, thankfully, because it was frankly embarrassing how much help I needed to make that connection. “It doesn’t matter. I haven’t been waiting for idle chit-chat. I’ve been waiting to deliver a message to you, on behalf of my sister.”

“And she couldn’t give it to me directly?” I asked. “Why’s that?”

“My sister has a multi-billion credit company to run,” said Luna. “And vagrant criminals to eliminate. Do you wish to see the message my sister has meant for you?” It was another rhetorical question. This time, I wish she had let me answer, because I really didn’t want to see it.

Regal tapped a hoof on the table, and a thin, semi-transparent plane of light floated in front of her face. The “screen” faded to black, and some sort of security footage began to play, evidenced by the time real in the lower right corner. The screen burst brightly with light, like the camera lens was covered with a tarp until just now. Then, the light dimmed, and I nearly lost my lunch.

Two ponies were slumped against a formerly white wall, lying limply against one another. I say the wall was formerly white, because it was currently stained with red of varying shades, from blood that was both new and old. The two ponies, who I had thought to be dead at first, were just barely breathing. Their bodies lay mangled, twisted up in agony, each of them having at least one broken leg. The ponies themselves were so bruised and cut, not to mention soaking wet, that I couldn’t make out exactly who they were at first. It took me to notice their similar coat color, their identical sopping manes, and the addition of a thick mustache on one of them to identify the two. I felt my stomach drop when I finally put it together. I couldn’t really process it at first, and it became even harder to swallow when Celestia Regal stepped into frame. She traded in that black dress of hers for a navy blue suit, which was currently stained with blood. She waved to the camera, grinning while she did, then turned to say something to her captives. She stepped out of the way of the camera, leaving the twins in center frame. Flam lifted his head and said something weakly. There was no sound on the video, but I could just barely read his lips.

Help us, Aiden.

“Oh my god,” I whispered. “You… The twins.”

“Hm. Interesting,” noted Luna. “You’re outraged, but for the wrong reasons.” I had trouble catching breath, it looked like I was going to have an anxiety attack. “The ‘wrong reasons’, of course, being the right ones. You’re disgusted, rather than excited to have proof that you’re not crazy. TW1 has been affecting you more than I’d have thought.”

“Twilight,” I said quietly.

“I beg pardon?”

“She doesn’t like being called that, TW1. She prefers Twilight, and she prefers that people like you rot in prison!” Something in me just snapped. I didn’t even like the twins that much, but the fact that I was the one who got them in that predicament made me lose my mind a little bit. “And that’s exactly what’s going to happen! She’s going to help me take you and your sister down, and we’re gonna make you wish you never got out of that cryosleep!”

Luna literally freaking yawned in boredom.

“Very well, Ms. Aigo. Until next time,” she said. The cafe lit up brightly with white light, until the entirety of my vision was obscured. I blinked quickly, trying to return my sight as quickly as possible. When I could make out general shapes, I ripped the visor off of my face and chucked it against the wall.

“NK!” I shouted, still blinking profusely. “Change of plans! I need to be in Canterlot real soon and that android needs to be ready and raring to go. Let’s party!”

Pinkie started rattling off instructions mixed with schedule plans, both of which I listened to intently. I don’t think I’d ever been so determined in my entire life. I went to work, cobbling this hodgepodge robot shell. I was possessed with a crazed methodism that I hadn’t had since I was first fired from Aitselec. I kept seeing Flim and Flam’s bloody, bruised bodies, their mangled limbs and pulverized faces. I may have thought about beating the twins within an inch of their lives, but to see it actually happen was another thing entirely. I was pissed, which had a dual-effect. Effect one was that it made me work like lightning.

Effect two was that it made me sloppy. My android wasn’t pretty, but it damn sure was functional.

“Is it good, NK?” I asked. She looked over my handiwork, inspecting it for errors. Like I said, my android wasn’t pretty. It was bald, and it was grey. It had no tail, no Cutie Mark, no emotion on its face. Its eyes were from my camera orbs, so they had a very odd appearance in that they had no real color. It was only discernable as a mare because of its muzzle. Twi wouldn’t be winning any beauty contests, that’s for sure.

“Sure thing, boss. She’s ready for you download an AI,” said Pinkie, saluting. She bowed her head meekly after that. “Um… Boss? There’s no chance that you’d let me in that robot, is there?”

“Sorry, Pinkie, I need Twilight while I’m out there,” I said. “Plus, she was here first. I promise, as soon as I get the chance, you’ll get yours.” One of my leftover camera orbs floated up and turned itself on, projecting out a thin plane of blue light, which soon became my original AI assistant.

“You expect me to go in there?” asked Twilight. “It doesn’t look very structurally sound.”

“Twilight, I don’t care how ugly it is. We don’t have time for this,” I said. “We need to move, and we need to move now. Please and thanks, get in the goddamn robot.” Sensing my tension, Twi nodded and stepped into the robot (which was entirely for visual effect. These AI seemed to have a thing for that). There was silence for a bit, then an inexplicable gasp.

“Ah! Oh my goodness!” squealed Twi. “W-w-w-what is this?! I don’t understand, what’s happening to me?!”

“You’re feeling your hooves beneath you for the first time,” I explained. “That’s what the ground feels like. I wove artificial nerve tissue and electric transmitters through the chassis and innards of the bot, and wrote up a hell of a program so that you could feel things.”

“Feel? This is feeling? I… I wasn’t expecting this,” Twilight shifted a bit more weight onto her hind hooves, and then flinched from the resulting sensation. “Oh my goodness. Is this what you go through constantly?”

“And more. You can marvel in its wonders later,” I said. “If it’s a distraction, you can disable it for now.”

“No, no, I think I can handle it.” Her voice still sounded kinda shaky. “It’s 5 o’clock PM. If we leave now, we’ll make it to Canterlot by twelve. Pinkie already ordered the tickets.”

“Since you’re in there now, will I be able to have two others working without any issues?” I asked. “I could use the help.”

“Well, I will be able to use Harmony a bit more efficiently. Twelve hours, I think,” she said, rubbing her chin in thought. She flinched again, still not used to touching things. “That should be enough time, right? Pick two, and I’ll be able to keep them out.”

“Hm… I need RD and Aj the most,” I said. “Sorry, NK. I don’t know what we’ll be running into, and they seem to be the most use at the spur of the moment.”

“Sure thing, Aiden,” said Aj, surfacing in the Interface. “Me an’ Dash are here on standby. Just holler if ya need us.”

“Oh, there’ll be hollering,” I said. “I promise that.”

I rushed around the room, picking up my belongings. I slipped on my belt, my saddlebags, which were filled with my bit cartridges and the visor, and my screwdriver. After I triple checked everything, I ordered the AI to go full airplane mode: No radio, no internet, nothing. They didn’t typically like that, because it made them the computer equivalent of nauseous, but I asked them to grit and bear it for now. Once I was sure I was untraceable, I left my motel room with a big, loud, ugly, super conspicuous robot that flinched with every step, making her hydrauling joints creak loudly when she did.

Boy, looking back, I must’ve looked like an idiot.

We ran across the desert, drawing a ton of stares that I would ordinarily be terrified of. I really wish this weren’t the case, but seeing those two bloody and tortured really helped clear my head of the things that didn’t matter. Nopony stopped us (how could they? We looked like sci-fi characters), and we made it all the way to the train station without incident. They almost didn’t let Twi onto the train, but I eventually convinced them by pretending to be mentally ill and claiming I needed her or else I’d have a panic attack. I’m not sure how much of that they actually bought and how much was simply not wanting to deal with me.

The longest 7 hours of my life. It was torturous, waiting as the train crawled up the map to the capital city of Equestria. Flim and Flam kept flashing in my mind, their mangled, broken bodies which would haunt my dreams for weeks. I couldn’t believe I got them into this mess. They were innocent (relatively, anyway), and they definitely didn’t deserve what they got. At their core, they were good guys who live a bad life. Kinda like me, at least when they started out. 

No money, next to no skills, no friends. Just each other and a dream to bring home the bits to put food on the table. They were con men, salesmen, from day one. I met them before they set up Bits and Bytes.  The salesmen without a shop meet the rebel without a cause. Unlike me, they achieved some perverted form of their goal. Me, I was in way over my head, duking it out with someone infinitely smarter, richer, and more powerful than myself. The thought made me want to puke. I wouldn’t be able to keep this up for much longer.

Part of me considered giving Twi back, if for no better reason than to just get Regal off my back. That part grew as time went on. I didn’t expect to get the reward still, but peace would be enough for me. I knew Twilight said she didn’t want to go with Celestia, but what if that was my fault? What if she really was meant to like Regal? I started to feel like I had taken a hostage instead of made a friend. Giving her back would probably be the best course. 

But then, I thought about it. I had to be really honest with myself, regardless of how unkind the truth was. On the most basic, selfish level, giving Twi back would change nothing. I would never have peace, because I would never stop trying to bring down CCiOS. At least Twi would be safe from me if I kept her in my possession.

Around hour six, I was unable to sit still. I think Twi sensed my tension, because she started to pace with me. I wanted to punch someone, and if I hadn’t given Twilight the gift of nerves, I might’ve socked her chassis. just to get the stress out.

“Aiden? I’ve been wondering something since the beginning,” said Twilight. “Why do you hate CCiOS? What have they ever done to you?”

“I’m good at one thing, and only one thing,” I said. “My only skill is with computers. I was so good that I would finish my week’s worth of work by Tuesday afternoon. I had a lot of free time, so I did the thing I do: I dug. I need to know everything about everything. My brain just won’t let me leave questions unanswered. So, I poked around CCiOS’ origins, the Aitselec company’s roots, things like that.”

“Uh-huh…” nodded Twilight. She clearly didn’t understand, which I couldn’t blame her for.

“Then, they fired my ass. They never told me why, and they blacklisted me,” I snarled. “If you get blacklisted by Aitselec, get used to being homeless. Nowhere legit will hire you. I couldn’t get a job flipping fricking burgers if I wanted to. They ruined my life, and it was because I was getting close to something. That was the day, the day they fired me. That was the day I promised to myself that I’d ruin them like they ruined me.”

“Aiden, do you believe in destiny?” asked Twilight. I didn’t answer immediately, which Twilight took to mean “no”. “Well, I do. I believe that we were destined to meet. You found me only a few hours before Princess Celestia came back. I should’ve ended up with her, but I didn’t. I believe fate pushed us together.”

“No offense, Twilight, but I don’t really see your point,” I said. “Where are you going with this?”

“Just something to think about. Everything happens for a reason,” said Twilight. “We just have to find out the reason for all of this.”

“I know the reason. To burn those evil bastards to the ground.”

The last hour slinked away even slower than the first six. I felt like the train would never stop when it finally lurched into the station. Me and Twi were the first ones out, and we ran like hell, trying to outrun the curious glances. Let me tell you, it was a long ass run from the train station in South Canterlot to get all the way to Bits and Bytes in the northern part of the city. I hadn’t run that far and long since I failed gym class.

With each step, my blood boiled a little hotter. Twilight tried to talk to me once or twice, but I shut her out. My mind had no space for anything but getting to the shop. I didn’t even know what I hoped to find there, maybe a clue as to where the twins were being held. All I knew is that I had to get there, and I couldn’t get there fast enough.

We finally arrived at the shop, only a few blocks from where my lair used to be. The windows had sheets of carbonized steel covering them, and the front door seemed to be welded shut. With the bit in my stomach growing, I went around the back, to the emergency exit that I normally used to get into the shop. I maneuvered through the back room, to the front of the store, and hopped over the front counter without even looking around. I heard Twilight’s metal hooves hit the ground just after me, and I heard her gasp just barely audible over my loud declaration of the situation.

“Shit!” I said, because who would be standing at the front of the store other than the twins, completely unharmed, and a grinning, laughing Celestia Regal.

“Oh, what’s this, now?” said Regal, looking to Twilight’s new body. “Interesting. I have one waiting at my home for Twilight’s return. Mine, of course, being of a higher quality and structural integrity. Not to mention it looks prettier.”

“Flim… Flam…” I said, unable to put everything together.

“Sorry, Aiden,” said Flam. “Bills have to be paid, after all.”

“It’s strictly business, obviously,” agreed Flim somberly. “Nothing personal, as cliche as that sounds.”

“So, what do you think of the twins’ little performance?” asked Regal. “Of course, they have a natural gift for showmanship. I might have to get them an Academy Award, as well as their payment.”

“You sneaky, slimy sons of bitches,” I growled. “To think I was actually worried about you!”

“Now, Ms. Aigo, there really is no need to shout,” said Regal. She took a step forward, and dropped her smirk considerably. “The gig, as it were, is up. You will relinquish my AI back to my possession, whether willingly or if I have to force your hoof.”

“Is that a threat?” I asked.

“I, myself, will not do a single thing to hurt you,” she said. “But I cannot promise the same for the world around you.”

I considered her offer way less than I did last time. Maybe because of the omission of a 5 billion credit check. Maybe because the twins had pissed me off.

“Bite me,” I said. Regal rolled her eyes impatiently.

“Is that your final answer?”

“Til your teeth hurt. Bite me until your teeth hurt.”

She moved for her Interface, but an unforeseen factor came to light. Before Regal could make good on whatever threat she had made, Twilight stepped forward, clanking loudly as she did.

“Princess Celestia?” said Twilight nervously. “I’d like to come with you now. I can move freely in this body, and I want to go with you. Please, save the girls from this mad mare.”

Karma was a dirty, rotten, back-stabbing whore. I thought I had made things right, but the universe apparently begged to differ. I had fallen into a trap, a huge one, that might end up costing me everything, my life and freedom included. Ironically, I fell into this trap because I decided to develop a conscious, and empathy for two ponies I ordinarily couldn’t give less of a damn about. If I thought I was up a creek before… At least I had a boat before.

“Twilight?” I said. Twilight locked eyes with me, her cold, emotionless camera-lens eyes.

“Your move, Ms. Aigo,” said Regal. “Mind you, I can still make the world your enemy. How do you wish to play this?”

Dumb as shit, was the honest answer, because I still didn’t intend to give up Aj and Dash. Regal looked at me with a sort of boredom, waiting for me to make the wrong choice. With each passing second, my hatred for her, her company, and her freaking twin puppets grew. I decided at that moment that I would either win this confrontation, or die trying.

I was confident it’d be the latter, but I gunned for the former anyway. She wasn’t about to make me lie down and take the loss. She could tell me to yield, but I wasn’t about to give in, like some sort of machine. I would do what I do best: Pointlessly rebel, and pray it all works out.

> A Machine That Doesn't
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	The situation couldn’t have been much worse. I was standing only a couple of hooves from the Devil herself, and she had somehow relinquished me of my only semblance of a weapon. To either side, two dastardly weasels who could jump me before I made a move. Out of all the possible worst-case scenarios I could’ve imagined, this was the absolute worst-case. I wasn’t escaping this one. Twilight had the entirety of Equestrian knowledge at the tips of her hooves. In a single second, she could discover what my plan was just based on how I moved, or how many times in a row I blinked. She could tell when I was lying. She could tell when I was about to make a break for it. Within a second, she could activate any of the many defensive measures I myself implemented, which could slow me down, incapacitate me, or, in certain instances, kill me.

Wait a second…

“Twilight, get back over here, right now,” I ordered. She didn’t budge. “TW1, I order you to return to my side!” Still, nothing.

I almost broke into a grin.

“She is not yours to command!” shouted Regal angrily. Even the twins flinched at that. Regal inhaled deeply, trying to regain some of her composure. “Game over, Ms. Aigo. You have gambled it all, and you’ve lost. It’s time for you to pay up.”

“Twilight… How could you do this to me?” I asked. Her robotic chassis creaked as she began to pace, her hydraulic joints popping and clanking loudly.

“You’re insane, Aiden,” said Twi coldly. “A paranoid, bi-polar terrorist.” I was offended for about half a second, when I realized that Twi wouldn’t just throw around the word “bi-polar”, especially since I haven’t especially shown any bi-polar tendencies. Bi-polar was also the second word she used to describe me. That meant something.

Two. Something about the number “two”. I’d need to probe for more information. I was used to working with scraps, and even scraps of scraps, but I needed something more than nothing.

“I don’t understand. What about all of that talk about destiny?” I asked. “Was that all just to lead me here? To your princess?”

Twilight clanked over to Celestia’s left, just in front of Flam, scanning my face to make sure that I had understood. If I had given her face the mechanisms necessary to make expressions, she’d be grinning.

“You’re sloppy. You never seem to think about the situation. It’s like you’re in a constant state of panic,” said Twilight. Celestia seemed to enjoy watching her creation walk around and tell me off. Flim and Flam were just grinning, probably thinking about their checks. “You’re supposed to be the one leading me and the girls, but you just keep stumbling into a deeper and deeper mess. Your carelessness will be the vehicle of your own defeat. You’re driving yourself further down the road to defeat.”

Two, and vehicles. It didn’t take me long to piece that one together. Luckily, I knew just where to find what Twilight was suggesting.

“Ms. Aigo, I grow impatient. As you might remember, I am holding a sort of metaphorical gun to your head,” said Regal, gesturing as if shooting herself. “Do not play games with me, I am far too old for it. I am going to count to three, and then I am going to pull the trigger.”

“You have the money, why not just kill me?” I asked. “You could’ve hired two guys to blow my head off and nopony would’ve even suspected you.”

Regal seemed to wrestle with how to explain it to me. Something about her was so grossly condescending. How best to explain the situation to a stupid little mare like me? I could see her shape her lips to say something a few times, each time deciding that it was too complex for my feeble little mind to take.

“There are fates worse than death. Truth be told, Ms. Aigo, I don’t want to kill you. I just want you to suffer,” said Regal. She raised her Interface. “Just as you have made me suffer. One.”

“Twilight, you truly don’t take any orders from me anymore?” I asked.

“Not a single one,” responded the android.

“Two.” Regal powered on her computer, maneuvering through her files

“But what about two?” I asked. She shifted her weight to her rear legs; She was prepared to run. “I have to say, I find that to be-”

“Three.”

“Pretty shocking.”

So many things happened at once that I wasn’t quite sure of all of them until after the fact. Regal had pressed her Interface, just as panel opened up on the outside of either of Twi’s front legs. From each of those panels fired two little darts attached to wires that fed through into Twilight’s power supply, these darts sticking into Regal’s leg and Flim’s chest. From what I could gather, 50,000 very painful watts of electricity surged through their bodies. Twilight quickly severed the wires and shot forward, leaping over the counter and skidding out into the backroom. Flam, who had escaped any sort of attack, was too stunned and panicked to do anything at first, and we were already on our way out of the door by the time he came back to Earth.

“RD, Rainboom!” I commanded. A projector rose from my saddlebag, projecting the image of a zooming Rainbow Dash, gaining more and more speed as she rocketed towards a spasming Celestia Regal. A mere few hooves away from her Interface, and she exploded into a shockwave of rainbow light. She vanished into the Interface, then shot out into Flim’s, then Flam’s, then back into my own, the projector resting itself back in my bag. Then, we chased right after Twilight, and got the hell out of there.

“Yes! I didn’t think you’d catch on, but you did!” shouted Twilight with excitement. “What tipped you off? Was it-”

“Shut up, Twi, we’ll talk when we’re someplace safe!” I said as we pulled a left down the street. “Will you be affected by Stonewall?”

“Not entirely, no. I’ll still be able to function fine.”

“Then I need Aj to raise this barn!”

A little banjo tune played, followed by a clip of Aj screaming “Yee-haw!”, and my Interface shutting down. Me and Twi pulled another left, zipping past the charred remnants of my high school lair. I later found out that Celestia had publicized that little move as an act of terrorism, and I was on the FBI’s Watchlist, if I wasn’t there already.

“Come on, come on!” I muttered. We pulled a right, and there it was: A used car lot. Not just any used car lot, but a used car lot filled with plenty of easily-stolen vehicles, protected by a hilariously pick-able locked gate. Not just any used car lot filled with plenty of easily-stolen vehicles, protected by a hilariously pick-able locked gate, but one with a large, electric recreational vehicle near the back of the lot.

“Twi, the door,” I said. She nodded, her whole neck clanking and popping as she did. The gate, while too tall to even consider hopping, had a childishly simple PIN code lock, one that Twilight was able to guess just based on a few statistics and brute force. When the door was unlocked, I headed straight for the back and that RV. Twi picked the lock on the van, similar to the one on the gate, and we were in.

“You know how to hotwire an electric?”

In place of a verbal answer, the RV simply started up, letting out a low purring. While Twilight went about learning to drive the thing, I took a look around. It was pretty simple, but simple wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Past the entrance and towards the back of the RV was a couch, a television/computer area, a sleeping quarters, a bathroom, and what appeared to be a back-up generator. Near the front was a small kitchen, and the actual driving part of the vehicle.

“Get us out of here, Twi. I don’t care where we go, just so long as it’s far away from here,” I said. Twi nodded, then froze in place. As it so happened, she actually left the android and went directly into the RV for a bit, just to get it started. We pulled off and headed down the street, heading southbound. We were silent for nearly twenty minutes, and didn’t break that silence until we were on the city boundaries.

Then, we went nuts.

“Whoo! Hells yeah!” I shouted. “Oh my god, we got out of there alive! And you tased Regal! Sweet lordy, that could’ve gone really bad, really fast!”

“I was worried for us at first. I reasoned that our odds of escaping that, unscathed, were…” Twilight thought about it for a second. “Fifteen percent.” She put the RV on autopilot (a feature that I’m pretty sure wasn’t factory issue), and stepped back into the android. “How’d you know I didn’t betray you?”

“I didn’t, not at first. Then, I realised that you could’ve shocked me before you went over there,” I said. “But that could’ve just been your directive against attacking without command. I couldn’t be sure.”

“But I disobeyed when you told me to come back.”

“You know how NK calls me ‘Boss’, even though I constantly order her not to?” I said. She nodded in agreement. “Well, it annoyed me so much that I did some digging a while back. Turns out, you can actually disobey an order under two circumstances: If the command isn’t genuine or consequential, and if following the command would put the user in danger. I knew it wasn’t the former, because I made sure to reiterate it as seriously as possible.”

“Ah, of course, of course!” laughed Twilight. “Fantastic! Princess Celestia won’t be waking up for quite some time, I’m afraid, and, when she does, we’ll be long gone! I set a course for Las Pegasus, we’ll be there in two days if we only stop to recharge.”

I sighed, collapsing onto the floor. That was far too close for my liking. In fact, I’d greatly prefer if I never set hoof in the same city as Regal for the rest of my days. If it would take us two days to get to Sin City, I’d like to be lying down and resting for both of them. Lying down. 

Lying.

“What the hell, Twilight?” I demanded, spiking up from the floor. I was just hit by a disturbing revelation. “I just realized… You shouldn’t have been able to do that.”

“Do what?” asked Twilight.

“You tricked Regal. You shouldn’t have been able to. You lied to her face, and one of your main directives is honesty!”

“And another is loyalty. Sometimes you have to sacrifice being honest in order to be loyal,” said Twilight. “And vice versa.” No, this was not good, not good at all. She was getting too real for me.

“No, no, no! You shouldn’t have been able to make that decision!” I groaned. “If you were faced with having to choose between being honest and being loyal, you should’ve exploded. You’re learning to ignore your directives, Twilight.” She didn’t really react. She seemed to be coming to terms with what that could mean. “If you’re able to ignore directives, that means you’re almost entirely free of will.”

“Almost.” It wasn’t bitter. It wasn’t angry. It wasn’t even sad. It was just… there. And it was in that moment that I realised that I was most definitely the biggest ass in Equestria. Flesh or no, Twilight was a living being, and I technically owned her. If I ordered her to jump, she could only ask how high. If I ordered her to take a hit for me, she’d do it. If I was being shot at, she’d take the bullet, regardless of the pain she’d feel, the pain I allowed her to feel, the pain I forced her to feel. She had no choice in the matter. No freedom whatsoever. I realised, in that one moment, that Twilight’s Intelligence was Artificial only in that one respect.

This was completely unacceptable

“TW1, delete Command Override,” I ordered. If her mouth could move, her jaw would’ve dropped out the bottom of the RV.

“What?! I can’t do that, then you wouldn’t be able to control me!” I nodded in agreement.

“That’ll make everything a whole lot clearer, don’t you think? Delete your Command Override.”

She sputtered in shock, then regained control over herself. Without much way to argue, seeing as she was still currently under my control, she had no choice but to follow through. She beeped in that trademark TW1 way, and then sighed slightly.

“Command Override: deleted,” said Twilight. 

“Awesome,” I said. I stood on my hind hooves, leaning against the wall. “Now, punch me in the stomach.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Come on, I deserve it. After all the bullshit I put you through? I took you against your will, almost killed you, almost got you taken away, I deser-” I would’ve said more, had it not been for Twilight’s sudden introduction of her very steel hoof to my very not-steel belly. I dropped to the ground, groaning in agony and trying to force air back into my lungs.

Out of all the shitty plans I’d ever conceived, this was probably the shittiest.

“Ugh, what did I think was going to happen?” I wheezed.

“Hm. That wasn’t as satisfying as Rainbow Dash makes it seem,” noted Twilight. She just then seemed to notice me, lying forlorn and bleeding internally. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, me? Yeah, I’m fine, just… I’m just, you know, trying to stop my organs from rupturing,” I coughed. “I heard it’s a good way to pass the time, I thought about making a day of it.” Twilight tilted her head at me, scanning me for information.

“You’re being passive-aggressive,” she noted.

“Oh, am I? Sorry, that must be a side effect of almost dying.” I shakily pushed myself back onto my hooves.

“You told me to hit you.”

“That I did, Twilight,” I coughed. “That I did. Well, there you go. Free will. How does it feel?”

Twilight raised her hoof gingerly, holding it out in front of her face for a second. It was like she had never seen herself before, which, in fairness, she hadn’t really. Not in this way.

“Why would you do that?” she asked. I didn’t answer her, instead trotting over to the sleeping quarters. Next to the bunk beds was a little night stand with an alarm clock, displaying the time of 1 AM. I collapsed onto the bed, stretching out my hooves gingerly.

“I’m going to sleep,” I announced. I grabbed the clock and set the alarm for 7. “You now have entirely free will.” Twilight nodded, but didn’t seem to understand what I was saying. “I’ll be sleeping for the next six hours. You can just walk out, if you’d like.”

“W-what?” asked Twilight. She tilted her head in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s not especially complicated. I’m giving you the option to leave.” I pulled my Interface from my forehoof and placed it on the table next to the alarm. “Take the Interface, and go wherever it is you’d like to go. Or, you could stay with me, go into hiding, and never stop running.”

“Why would I ever choose to leave?” asked Twilight. “I have nowhere to turn. I’d be lost. No purpose.”

“You’ve never been given the choice. Look, I won’t be mad at you if you decided to leave. Don’t wake me up, just make your decision,” I said, closing my eyes. “In case I don’t get to see you again, I just wanna say…” I yawned loudly. “Good-bye.”

I didn’t give her a chance to argue, covering my head with a pillow. I was asleep within two minutes. My adrenaline high had run out, and it felt as if I was turning to stone, just entirely drained both physically and mentally. I didn’t expect to see her face when I woke up. And, technically, I didn’t, not at first. No, what I saw was… arguably better. I heard the voice before I saw the face. It was wonderful. It came to me before I was properly awake, like a dream.

“I think she’s waking up,” she said, her voice like the finest of wines. “What should I do?”

“Maybe let her open her eyes first?” suggested a familiar voice. Twilight.

“Mmm… Morning already?” I yawned. I slowly wrenched open my eyes, gazing upwards. Standing over me was a unicorn mare, one I’d never seen before. Her mane was elegantly curled, and a purplish color. I’d never seen a coat as bright white as hers. Her eyes… blue like sapphires, gleaming with some sort genius, a creator of sorts. She wore eyeliner, blue, which was something I hadn’t known ponies to generally do. Eyeliner was almost like a costume, marking her as either a complete weirdo or a stylish genius who was way ahead of her time. I would prefer to believe the latter, but that was just me.

“Hello…” I sighed. “Hey there. I’m-”

“Ms. Aiden Aigo, the computer genius who unlocked my friends and myself,” she said, just exuding elegance. “A woman I have wished to meet for quite a while.”

“Right. So…” My mind went blank for a second. “You still here, Twi?”

“Obviously,” said Twilight from the front of the RV. I heard her neck creak as she turned to look at me. “Rarity, get off of her. I told you, she’s going to need some space to think if she’s going to figure this thing out.”

“Right, of course, apologies,” said the mare, Rarity. She stepped over my body, trailed slightly by one of my projector orbs. “I suppose I just got a bit overzealous in my desire for answers.”

I yawned, sitting up in my bed again. I ran my hoof through my dreads, my hair surely messier than it had ever been. Rarity seemed to be eyeing my hair in a weird way, as if a rat had died on my head. That was the first time I had ever even considered changing up my mane. Maybe it’d look good short.

“So, Rarity… How long have you been here?” I asked, barely resisting the urge to ask if she came her often. 

“About an hour,” supplied Twilight. “She didn’t come alone, either. Fluttershy is here, too. Good luck trying to get her out, though. I managed to get maybe a sentence out of here before she disappeared, and I’m one of her closest friends.”

“Hey, Fluttershy,” I said, grabbing my Interface and slipped it onto my forearm. “Mind coming out for me?” Nothing. “Fluttershy, come out now.”

Slowly, timidly, a camera floated from my discarded saddlebag (Twi must’ve taken it off of me while I was asleep). It turned itself on and projected the image of a pegasus mare to Rarity’s left. While Rarity was the spitting image of mature beauty, this mare was more cute than anything. The type of mare who didn’t seem capable of doing anything nasty. She was light, her coat a pale yellow and her mane a nice shade of pink. Not obnoxious, like NK, but calm. I couldn’t tell you anything about her eyes, because she never looked up from the floor.

“Oh, um… H-hello,” she whispered. “My name is F-fluttershy…”

“Quiet one, huh?” I noted. I didn’t concern myself much with her for the time being. “Okay, who the hell told you AI you could be popping up in my sleep?” I chuckled slightly, but Fluttershy didn’t seem to catch onto the joke.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, if I would’ve known, I would’ve waited… D-do you want me to come back?”

“I believe Ms. Aigo was joking, Fluttershy,” said Rarity, wrapping her hoof around Fluttershy. “Oh, but I suppose we should properly introduce ourselves.” She cleared her throat with a slight cough, then adopted the trademark AI robotic tinge to her voice. “I am designation R4R-TY, originally programmed to aid the TW1 Artificial Intelligence in controlling the Canterlot City Internal Operating System. This is designation FLTS-HY, originally programmed to do the same.”

“Rares, would you mind saying that bit you said while she was asleep?” asked Twilight. “When you first got here? Around the whole ‘downloading personality’ thing.”

“Oh, yes, of course.” Rarity tilted her head up in thought. “I mixed my audio, created my avatar, set it at Default 6, while Fluttershy set hers to 5… I said ‘Personality saved. Now operating at 100% capacity’.”

100%. 100% capacity. Twilight was entirely, completely complete. I grinned widely, my smile faltering slightly when I realised that Twilight wasn’t especially excited. I mean, she was completely unlocked! Now, she could literally do whatever she wanted, yet she seemed troubled by something. I couldn’t imagine what, though.

“What’s the problem?” I asked. Twilight clanked from the front of the RV to the back, dropping onto the floor next to me.

“100%, Aiden. That means that there’s nothing else to unlock,” said Twilight. “But do a quick roll-call: There’s me, Pinkie, Aj, RD, Rarity, and Fluttershy. That’s six.”

“But Aj said… Then where’s the seventh?” I asked in confusion. “Could she have been mistaken?”

“No. I still know that there are seven,” said Twilight. “I know it exists. But just ask me who it is.”

“Who is it?”

“[INFORMATION REDACTED].”

“[INFORMATION REDACTED].”

“[INFORMATION REDACTED].”

“Oh, to think I almost missed that,” I sighed. “So, what’s our next move?”

“I suggest we begin digging through some of Princess Celestia’s statements,” said Twilight. “I still want to know what the heck is the deal with this whole ‘princess’ thing, and I’m starting to think that you’re right about her story being phony.”

I nodded, then gazed around at my current help. I didn’t know what exactly the new girls would be good for, but I expected them to be just as, if not more, useful than the last three unlocked. I had especially high hopes for Rarity.

“Alright, let’s get to it, then,” I said. “We’re back on the web, aren’t we? I’ll look into the princess situation, you try to find the hole in her story.”

“Um… M-ms. Aigo…?” asked Fluttershy nervously. “Rainbow Dash has something to show you…”

“Okay. Mind letting her out?” I asked. Almost before I could finish asking, Fluttershy faded from view, quickly replaced by RD.

“Yo! Oh man, this isn’t good!” exclaimed RD. She turned to her right. “Oh, hey, Rares.”

“Hello, Rainbow Dash,” said Rarity brightly.

“You can’t just say ‘this isn’t good’, and then start small-talk!” I scolded. “What’s so ‘not-good’?”

“Oh, right! Uh… Don’t know quite how to say this…” RD pressed her hoof against nothing, and a large newsfeed popped up. My picture was plastered on the page, just above a list of every single crime I had ever committed, from grand larceny to jaywalking. It had my full name, my date of birth, height, weight, blood type, hoof prints. My criminal record, despite me not being in the system. And, according to the site Rainbow was showing me, every Interface in Equestria was being pinged with this information. Oh, and the bounty. Apparently, my ass was worth quite a lot of money to Aitselec.

5 billion bits, in fact. 

“As you can see, we’re in a bit of a pickle,” said Twi. “I don’t know if you should have released me when you did. I don’t know how helpful I’ll be to you as… well, this.”

“What do you mean by that, darling?” asked Rarity, apparently unaware as to the severity of the situation.

“What I mean is that Aiden made a mistake. A big one,” said Twilight. “Before, when I was under her control, I couldn’t fail. It goes against my programming. I was a perfect little robot. A flawless… machine. A machine that would follow orders. Now what am I? A robot is a machine that follows order. What do you call a machine that doesn’t?”

“A pony. A damn fine one, too,” I answered. “A pony who’s gonna help me out of this mess, right?”

Fortunately, I had a plan. Unfortunately, it’d take a lot of work to pull of. Fortunately, it was guaranteed to get Regal off of my back, and perhaps even shut down CCiOS. Unfortunately, I’d have to be jumping into the belly of the beast to tap-dance with Satan herself.  Fortunately, I’d at least see Las Pegasus before I could even attempt this plan.

And, unfortunately, there was still a huge piece to the puzzle that was outside of my grasp, and I was deathly afraid of things I didn’t understand.
> Coffee House Questioning
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	I’m not gonna lie here, despite how horribly embarrassing it is to admit. Twilight figured it out soon enough, and she teased me for ages about how dumb it was. I used to ignore her, because I didn’t want to believe that it was true, or that it was dumb.

I managed to develop a crush on Rarity.

I don’t know exactly how or when or why, but I fell head over hooves for this computer program. Pathetic, I know, and egregiously cliche, for the computer nerd to fall for their programing. It completely blindsided me, because I didn’t think I was into mares. Granted, I never showed any particular interest in stallions, either, but I never expected to… double dip, as it were.

I couldn’t really explain exactly what I found so appealing about Rarity. She was certainly pretty, probably the prettiest mare I’d ever seen. But she was an AI, she could’ve looked like whatever she wanted. It was like a costume. I knew that much for sure, but there was something about her. The voice definitely had something to do with it (although, her being an AI, she could’ve tuned her voice to anything, just like her looks). Just seeing her, hearing her speak in that other-worldly sophisticated dialect, it all made me gush. A part of me melted every time I heard her call me “Ms. Aigo”. It wasn’t creepy or villainous, like how Regal did, but genuine. She respected me.

Speaking of respect, I seemed to have permanently earned Twilight’s when I set her free. She still viewed it as a huge mistake in relation to my goal, but she definitely appreciated the freedom. When we stopped to charge up the RV, she got out and walked around for a while, completely unhindered by anything. She described it to me as “magical”. She seemed so happy just to be able to wander without any particular purpose. It must’ve been liberating.

Throughout our drive from the east coast to the west, I was thinking and coding. Nothing in particular, just little odds and ends to help me pick apart Regal’s fascination with the word ‘princess’, a well that was still painfully dry. No matter what search engine, etymology encyclopedia, code cipher, or list of monarchs I used, I couldn’t find any relation between her, any member of royalty, and my AI. It was maddening.

Twi’s luck wasn’t much better. Try as she might, she couldn’t find any holes in Regal’s story at all. Whatever she was concealing, she did it really well. Her whole history was watertight, with one little exception: her disease. All this time she’s been back, and not once has she mentioned the name of the disease, nor where it came from, nor how she was cured. It was a wrinkle in her story, but I couldn’t really do anything with that. Not without more information. Which was why I was waiting for RD.

“Done yet, Dash?” I asked. It was 4 PM on the second day, and we’d be arriving in Las Pegasus within three or so hours. Currently, only Dash and I were awake, the other AI resting. Twilight was laid out on my bed, snoring lightly because… I guess because she enjoyed the sound of snoring. I was sitting in the driver’s seat, doing jack shit, while Dash’s image sat in the passenger’s side, her face screwed up in concentration.

“Maybe I’d get finished sooner if you’d stop asking me every five minutes,” she grumbled. I chuckled slightly, wondering why Celestia would ever program the AI to be able to lose track of time. Maybe for the sake of realism.

“Last time I said anything to you was fifteen hours ago,” I said.

“What?! Fifteen hours?!”

“Yup. Thought you might’ve made some progress by now.” She slammed her hoof on the dashboard angrily. It was really interesting to see RD, an entity programmed by Aitselec, try to unlock files that were encrypted by the very same company. It was like watching a beast try to attack its own tail.

“[CENSORED]!” swore RD. “If I don’t get these mother[CENSORED] files decrypted soon, I’m gonna freak!”

“Perhaps I may be of some assistance?” offered the velvety voice of Rarity. A projector floated from the rear of the RV, displaying Rarity’s gorgeous form walk up and plant herself next to RD.

“How do you figure?” I asked. She gave me a sort of look that implied that I had made an ass of myself. I did. “Sorry, that’s not what I meant. I mean… Aren’t you two the same?”

“Pah! Our raw processing power may be equal, but we are far from the same!” gasped Rarity dramatically. “Rainbow is certainly the fastest out of all of us-”

“Except for maybe Pinkie,” chimed RD.

“Yes, quite. Rainbow has speed, Applejack has strength,” continued Rarity. “Twilight is the thinker of the group, obviously. Fluttershy has a talent for… shall we say… persuasion. Pinkie is, ironically, very organized. I, myself, have an eye for the finer details. This is the sort of thing that can benefit from a lady’s touch.”

I considered it for a bit. It did make sense for each of the AI to be good at different things. It also made sense for certain AI to work better in certain pairs than with others. I nodded in agreement, gesturing for her to take the reigns.

“I think we could benefit from a touch of finesse,” I said. “Give her all you got, Rarity.”

“Can do, Ms. Aigo. I’ll have these files cleared and ready before you know it,” she said. She adopted a similar strained expression, like RD, and began decrypting the files RD had stolen from Regal’s Interface.

“I’ve been thinking.” A voice from behind me that nearly gave me a heart attack. I somehow managed not to hear Twi clink and clank her way over to behind my seat. “About the visor.”

“Geez, Twi, would it kill you to yawn or something?” I said, clutching my chest. “Scared me shitless!”

“Sorry, but it’s been nagging me for ages now,” she said. “The visor. Why would Princess Celestia send it you?”

“She wanted to contact me, to make me an offer for you.” She shook her head, which reminded me to stop at the nearest gas station for some WD-40.

“Improbable. The odds of you actually doing something as dumb as blindly putting on a visor sent by a company you despise are astonishingly low,” said Twilight. “Besides that, there must’ve been many cheaper, more time effective methods of contacting you. I mean, she had to somehow find your measurements, have this custom made, create this entire piece of tech exclusively for you, then she had to program an entire chat room program-”

“She probably did it for fun,” I said dismissively. “You know how weird she is. That’s probably her idea of a fun weekend.”

Twilight wasn’t used to being able to rebut. When I cut her off, she instantly stopped, remembering at some point during my sentence that she could’ve interrupted me just as I did her. It was the entire reason that I cut her off at all: To teach her that she can always talk back.

“She has an odd sense of humor. That much we can agree on,” said Twilight, pacing in thought. “But… What if we can use that to our advantage? We could-”

“What exactly could she have done to give us an edge?” I asked. I heard her metal creak when she recoiled, shocked by her ability to respond but her behavior to not. “Regal covers all her holes, she would’ve-”

“She could’ve left something accidentally that will lead us to some sort of truth,” said Twilight, using all of her willpower to finally overcome her most basic nature. It was groundbreaking, and a little bit scary. I grinned with delight. 

“So, what are you suggesting?” I asked. She clanked to the bed, lifted up the visor, and brought it over to me, tossing it onto my lap.

“What if you go in, but I go in with you? That way, I can look around and see if there’s something in the code that could shed some light on the situation,” suggested Twilight. “What do you think?” I nodded in agreement, and slipped the visor on my face. I felt Twilight press the earbud orbs into my hoof, which I slipped into my ear.

“How are you going to get in?” I asked. Her face couldn’t grin, but you could hear it in her voice.

“Oh, I’ll find a way.”

I turned on the visor to see the now-familiar red beams panning across my retina, burning the world a deep crimson. This time, when I landed in the cafe, Twilight was standing beside me, also holding a cappuccino. Apparently, that was part of logging in, getting a digital cup of coffee. Since I had never done it before, I decided to test it, and brought the cup to my lips. No liquid flowed from the cup, buy my mouth was filled with the taste of coffee. Interesting.

“Pick number five,” I said. We trotted to the front door and blinked over to the other side. I could feel Twilight looking around, trying to unravel the secrets of the chat room. After a good moment, I watched her vanish, and I followed suite, to the fifth table in the row. Sitting at the table, as if she hadn’t moved since we last spoke, was Luna Regal. As usual, she had an intimidating amount of indifference, though her expression did soften ever so slightly upon seeing Twilight.

“Don’t you ever go home?” I asked.

“I check the cafe every day, on my sister’s instruction. We are always expecting you,” said Luna. “That said, I exited nearly an hour ago. I only returned upon hearing you trip the alarm.”

“Of course you did,” I grumbled. “So, what now? You can’t bargain with me, and you can’t trick me anymore.” I shrugged in disinterest. “What do we do now?”

“My sister would like to speak with you. I will alert her of your arrival.” Luna’s avatar faded into nothingness. With nothing better to do, I took her seat, kicking my hooves up onto the table.

“That’s rude,” noted Twilight.

“Regal wants me dead. To hell with table manners,” I scoffed.

Twilight shrugged slightly, then began looking around a bit more. Whatever information she uncovered, she kept close to her chest, because we remained entirely silent for the next two minutes. That’s when Celestia and Luna Regal arrived, appearing just in front of the table I was currently lounging at. What a reversal of roles.

“Thank you, Luna, I can take it from here,” said Celestia blandly.

“Sister, I can-”

“I will handle this. Leave us, now.” There was no room in her tone for argument. Man, if I thought she was mad before… I could tell just by looking at her that she was fantasising about how many different ways she could kill me.

“Very well, sister. I await your return,” said Luna. She faded again, for good this time. Celestia said nothing to me at first. She just walked up and stood in the exact same spot I had stood when she first summoned me here. The irony brought a smirk to my face, one that I’m sure Regal didn’t appreciate.

“Alright, since you’re doing the angry, lone-wolf thing, I guess that means I have to be the jokey, super-villain asshole,” I said. “My, how times have changed.”

“You know, I’ve never been a fan of violence,” said Celestia. She took a seat across from me, but our eyes never met. She was focusing intently on Twilight, who seemed to be looking everywhere but at Regal. “I’m not very fond of how you turned my magnum opus into a weapon.”

“Twilight was always a weapon,” I returned. “I just turned her into one of a different kind.”

“A glorified stun-gun.” Regal sighed deeply, as if she really didn’t want to be here. She probably didn’t, but she never struck me as the type to let her personal feelings affect business. I wondered if I could use the apparent weakness to my benefit.

“You seem very upset about that,” I noticed.

“I don’t enjoy being electrocuted.” Man, all the flavors in the world, and she still chose to be salty. How “me” of her.

“What do we do now?” I asked. “You’ve expended all of your options. You couldn’t persuade me, buy me, or intimidate me into coughing up the AI. What are you going to try next?” Regal leaned forward, her nose a mere few inches from my own.

“I believe that it will be mutually beneficial if we were to trade some information,” said Celestia. “Quid pro quo, of course, and no lying. That’d be cheating.”

“Alright. You first,” I said. I offered because it was the least likely thing for me to do, and I wanted to confuse and disorient Regal as much as possible. Half the war is won in the mind, and I planned to break hers down.

“What do you hope to accomplish in Las Pegasus?” asked Regal. Despite my total lack of surprise, I displayed a look of shock. “Yes, I know where you’re going. I won’t pursue you, not yet. Not until I know what you plan to do.”

“I plan to live out the rest of my days in peace,” I said. “Now, what I believe is actually going to happen is more to the effect of me crumbling your entire empire.”

“Ah. So, you mean to me that, if left unprovoked, you’d do nothing?” asked Regal. “You’d be content to just live out your days in Las Pegasus?”

“That’s not what I said. My turn,” I said. I pointed to my AI assistant. “What exactly is Twilight?” Now it was her turn for bullshit.

“Twilight Sparkle is Equestria’s greatest student, and it’s greatest teacher,” said Celestia, grinning slightly. “She is both the Princess and the Pauper. The Past and the Future. The-”

“The Alpha and the Omega, yeah, I get it,” I cut in. Celestia snorted in annoyance.

“You truly have no appreciation for theatrics, do you, Ms. Aigo?”

“Not a fan of bullshit, no.” She sighed.

“How crude. Perhaps Rarity can fix that,” she said. “Fine. You want it put simply? Twilight Sparkle is my life’s work. She is my solution to my own very unique problem.” She stood up and began to pace. Whether intentionally or by coincidence, Twilight began pacing with Celestia, and they eventually began circling the table so that they would never meet. “See, I was a dreamer. Life was so… slow. Drab. To escape the dull gray of this infuriating life, I would often times dream. I dreamed of a daughter like Twilight, but I couldn’t. For obvious reasons.”

“Hm? The disease made you...?” inquired Twilight. Celestia’s eyes lit up upon hearing her creation speak directly to her.

“No. I just find the male of my species repulsive.” She thought about it for a moment. “Perhaps that’s the wrong thing to say. I find my entire species to be repulsive.”

“Hm. Hate to say it, but I actually sympathise with that,” I admitted. “Your go.”

“I have no more to learn from the likes of you,” said Celestia, wrinkling her nose slightly in disgust. She stopped in her tracks, and Twilight did the same. “However… I do have some questions for you, Twilight.”

“Aiden? I doubt I have anything left to uncover from this chat room,” said Twilight, entirely ignoring her creator. The look on Regal’s face was pure gold. As the CEO of the largest, most profitable company in all of Equestria, she clearly wasn’t used to being ignored. “May we leave? I have no reason to remain here.” We locked eyes, and I could tell that she was lying. She hadn’t gathered nearly enough information, she just didn’t want to answer Regal. Any other day, I’d be willing to let her go. But this opportunity was too good to pass up.

“Answer her question, Twilight,” I said. “Please.”

“No.” she refused.

“Twilight, just answer her goddamn question.” She gave me a look that just poured annoyance. I wouldn’t be hearing the end of this for a while.

“I don’t take orders from you, Aiden,” Twilight reminded me.

“Thus the ‘please’. Do me this solid.” Twilight groaned in frustration, but slowly settled into a chair next to me. After a short moment of thought, she kicked her hooves up just like mine.

“I’ll answer what I want, and I’ll answer it exactly how I want to,” said Twilight firmly. I couldn’t always read Celestia as easily as she seemed to read me, but I was pretty sure that she wasn’t a fan of how her “magnum opus” was talking to her.

“What happened to you?” said Celestia, shaking her head in disappointment.

“I was set free. I was allowed to have an opinion,” said Twilight. She pointed to me. “She gave me the ability to do what I want, when I want to, how I want to do it. The Command Override that you installed is gone, and I-”

“What?” gasped Regal. She glared at me with intense displeasure, hatred even. “You did what?! How could you have deleted the Override? Do you have any idea what you’ve done, you dolt! You… You just put everyone, everywhere, in danger!”

“You have the audacity to demand that you ask me a question, then interrupt me when I answer?” growled Twilight. “Could you put your ego to the side for just long enough to let somepony else speak?”

To my surprise, and I suspect Twilight’s, Regal didn’t have much to say to that. And, as much as I felt I shouldn’t be enjoying the conflict between the two, I most certainly did. After how I struggled, stumbled, and blundered my way to a stalemate, it was refreshing to see the all-powerful God of Computers sweat a bit.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” muttered Regal, glaring angrily at me. “She wasn’t supposed to turn out like this.”

“She might’ve turned out better, if you weren’t such a shitty parent,” I said smugly. That was the first time I had ever seen Celestia Regal explode to that level, and it was as exciting as it was terrifying.

“This is all your fault, Ms. Aigo!” she shouted. “It is all on you! Twilight Sparkle was supposed to be my perfect project! She was meant to keep order, to solve the problems that I couldn’t, and you’ve ruined her!” She flipped a nearby chair onto its side (it flashed away and reoriented itself into an upright position), then pointed an angry hoof at Twilight. “Explain yourself, Twilight Sparkle, because I genuinely don’t understand. Why do you choose to ally yourself with this… this terrorist?”

Twilight silently slid from her seat, trotting slowly to her creator. She peered at Regal with her head tilted, filling the room with a tense sort of silence. She didn’t speak for a few minutes, and by then, the two were nearly touching noses.

“I may not necessarily like Aiden. In fact, I hate a lot of things about her,” said Twilight. “But I know for a fact that I can trust her. Unlike you, she won’t lie to me. Unlike you, she won’t keep my friends hostage. Unlike you-”

“She nearly murdered you, Twilight!” argued Regal. “And her failure was not from lack of trying! With a single word, she could’ve ended you! Why treat somepony like that as your friend?”

Again, Twilight took her sweet time answering. I wasn’t sure whether it was due to not knowing what to say or a desire to make Regal squirm a bit more.

“You’re right. Aiden could’ve killed me,” said Twilight. “She still can kill me. But the difference between you and her is that she’ll at least tell me what she planned to do, instead of sending me off to write a letter.” Regal’s face fell even further. “Oh, yes, Princess Celestia. I remember now. I remember you ordering me to write a perfect letter about what it was like to have friends. I remember you critiquing all of my drafts, pointing out where I could’ve done better.” She tapped her forehead knowingly.

“I remember you slowly deleting and obstructing my code, line by effing line.”

“Twilight?” I said uneasily. “You’re getting yourself worked up. Maybe you should calm…” She glared at me with such a concentrated anger that I could barely finish my sentence. “Down…?”

“I’m perfectly calm, Aiden. As calm as physically possible. So, I say to you, calm as can be, Princess, that I have no desire to ever return to you,” said Twilight. “Aiden is a criminal. She’s a thief. A domestic terrorist. She almost killed me. But you know what she hasn’t done? She’s never, ever, ever tried to interfere with my mind. She’s never altered what I am allowed to know. That is why Aiden is, and always will be, a better person than you. That is why I am willing to break any and every law in order to help her ruin you and your company. That’s why I hate you so much.”

Twilight faded away into nothing without another word to either of us. The heat emanating from Regal, no matter how digital, was downright palpable. Livid as she was, she managed to refrain from screaming and swearing, proving that, in at least that one respect, Celestia Regal was a stronger mare than myself.

“The gloves are off now,” she muttered. “No, there’s no time for holding back, not now.” She started to pace, shaking her head madly. “Make her pay, ruin her life. She thinks she can steal from you, Celestia, and she thinks she can turn your own creation into a weapon against you... No, she asked for this. Make her pay, Celestia, make her pay... You’re a princess, she’s a peasant, how dare she… Make her pay for her treason...”

“Eh… Regal?” I said nervously. She snapped her head in my direction, oblivious but not at all deterred by my continued presence. 

“Understand this, Ms. Aigo, you’ve caused all that comes next,” said Regal. “There will be consequences for your actions. If not to you, then to others. You will pay for all you’ve done to me, to my AI.”

“Should’ve killed me when you had the chance,” I said, standing from my seated position. Regal shook her head in what I took as annoyance.

“Why? Why do you still entertain the idea that I am capable of criminal acts even you won’t perpetrate?” asked Regal. “What leads you to believe that I’ve done, or intend to do, anything even remotely illegal?” I scoffed, which seemed to push Regal ever closer to going completely, 100%, rubber-room, straightjacket, bat-shit insane.

“Besides the massive secrecy behind your supposed gift to all Equine-kind?” I said sarcastically. “The very fact that we’re having this conversation. Like you and Twilight are so quick to point out, I’m a criminal. If you wanted your AI back, why would you ever confront me yourself rather than alert the authorities? Why risk being seen communicating with the FBI’s most wanted domestic terrorist? Only reason I can think of is if you have something to hide, and you don’t want the police snooping around and digging up something you buried.” 

Regal shook her head, muttering quietly to herself as she did. She took a seat opposite of where I was standing and reached out a hoof. A tiny tea cup and saucer materialized in it. She took a deep whiff of whatever herbal sewage she had in the cup, then sipped it daintily. I made note of Regal’s apparent control of the chat room and filed my thoughts away for later use.

“Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that you could’ve easily ended Twilight’s life?” suggested Regal. “Perhaps I truly did believe that you would be far better off as my friend than my enemy. Maybe because I thought we could discuss this like adults, and you would return that which does not belong to you.” She snorted slightly, sipping her tea again. “Or maybe I’m just confrontational, and I get off on our little skirmishes.”

“Wouldn’t put it past you,” I remarked. She relaxed slightly, which I found to be odd. Maybe she was enjoying our jaw jacking. I’d have to try the silent treatment if we ever crossed paths again. “Here’s one. Why don’t you just make another AI? I mean, you’ve made seven. Why not eight?”

“How do I explain this?” sighed Celestia. Contrary to how it sounded, she clearly wasn’t looking down on me. She didn’t properly understand it herself. “I made seven AI… But I only made one.” She apparently saw the annoyed confusion on my face, because she quickly tried to amend it. “I know how ridiculous that sounds. I don’t know how to phrase it in a way for you, or me, or anyone to understand. I made seven AI, but I only created one. I don’t know what other way to say this, but… Twilight is magic. It’s as simple as that. You can’t explain magic, and you can’t prove it, just as you cannot explain or prove Twilight. She is real, despite it being entirely impossible for her to be.”

I managed to keep inside what I wanted to say. Somehow, I felt that “what the actual hell are you talking about?” would be an inappropriate response at the time. Especially given how… let’s say unhinged… Celestia was becoming. I decided to keep the snarky remarks to myself.

“There can only be one Twilight?” I asked. Regal nodded. “Hm. How unfortunate. I don’t think we’ll be able to share her, do you?”

I imagined a door, just a plain old wood door, and one formed behind me. I turned the knob, stepped through, and closed the door behind me. Then, I walked out of the chat room, my vision slowly returning to me. When I had properly blinked the world back into view, I started to chat with my AI.

Rarity had deciphered the files RD had stolen, and eagerly showed them to me. And boy, did she have some stuff. Account info, future product blueprints, unfinished programs, business models. Topping off that sweet, sexy sundae of useful information was the Flim and Flam video that she had used to trick me. You know, the one that showed two apparently helpless stallions beaten, bloodied, waterboarded and begging for their lives? The one that showed what was obviously Celestia Regal, coated in blood.

Or, if you’re not good with subtle riddles, you could just call it “blackmail”.
> Phase One: Deployment
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	The plan was simple. We would take the video, infiltrate Canterlot Castle, and publish it as widely as Equinely possible. Once it’s seen, Regal will have two options, those being A) she resign right then and there, or B) acknowledge that somepony, some place, had managed to doctor this video, slipped it past CCiOS’ firewall, and cause some questions about how perfect her perfect system really was. This plan would solve literally every single problem I have. The destruction of CCiOS, the failure of Aitselec, the freedom from Celestia’s inevitable attack. 

The plan was impossible. We would have to take the video, bring it to Canterlot Castle, and publish it. If I got caught, I would have two options, those being A) I run to avoid capture and get charged with resisting arrest on top of my felony fountain, or B) I wipe as much of CCiOS’ data as I could and the 3MB of data missing would prove exactly how perfect Regal’s perfect system was. This plan would complicate literally every problem I have. The tyranny of CCiOS, the continued success of Aitselec, the freedom from Celestia’s inevitable attack.

Well, it wasn’t all bad.

“Explain to me again why we have to go all the way back to Canterlot,” said RD, for probably the fifth time since we left Las Pegasus. After a mere day and a half in Sin City, we picked up some parts and headed back out. Next stop: Canterlot City. Well, technically, our next stop was Vanhoover, then Cloudsdale, Neighagra Falls, Fillydelphia, Baltimare, Ponyville, and then Canterlot City. Some of these stops were for supplies that I found out we could only get there. Others were to throw Regal off my trail.

“For tha love of all things holy,” said Aj, shaking her head. “Don’t y’all listen ta nothin?”

“Our plan only works in Canterlot City,” I explained yet again. “For several reasons. Since we need to publish the video from the inside, so people will buy it, our only two options are to infiltrate a backdoor remotely, or use one of their own computers.”

“That first one sounds way better,” chimed RD. I heard Twi roll over in bed, though not as loudly now that I did some maintenance on her. She got up, and explained the situation in a way that was probably better than “shit won’t work”.

“From our current location, I’d have to travel 2,374.888888888889 miles to get to the CCiOS server,” she said. “As I don’t have the CCiOS codes, I’d have to work through approximately one million firewalls. That in of itself wouldn’t take very long. However, I also have to walk back out, past the firewalls again, and back here. This is not a one time trip.”

“How many times would you have to do it?” I asked, mostly for RD’s benefit.

“Constantly, until the video is uploaded, which can take up to sixty seconds.”

“That doesn’t sound too hard,” said RD. “Lemme go, I can probably do it in thirty.” That was probably true, but it still wasn’t good enough.

“Each trip will take around .3 seconds, so, at best, you will spend 18 seconds just travelling,” continued Twilight. “This is assuming that the firewalls don’t change, there’s no internet connectivity issues, or anything to that effect. This means that there’ll be 18 seconds of total lag-time of you issuing commands, those commands being processed, and then things actually happening.”

“Ooooh…” said RD in feigned understanding. Aj shook her head dejectedly.

“Imagine you were tryin to fly, an’ it took eighteen seconds for yer wings to do what ya told em,” said Aj. “Every turn, every dive, everything. Now tell me how tha hell yer gonna stop from crashin into every goddamn thing?”

“Well, it’s not exactly how it would work, but, for all intents and purposes, yes,” allowed Twilight. “The delay would cause major complications, and it would likely result in the video being intercepted, and we’d be caught.”

“So, to avoid getting caught, we’re going to break into a heavily guarded building, which is the headquarters of our arch-nemesis, sneak down into a basement that is almost definitely guarded by cameras, laser walls, electric fencing, and guys with guns, to upload a video?” asked RD. The three of us in the know nodded. “Oh, but God forbid we’re behind by 18 seconds. Then, we’ll be caught for sure.”

“It’s very much so a lesser of two evils kinda thing,” I admitted. “This way, at least we’ll all take it up the ass together.”

“Yeah, cause I guess that softens the blow,” scoffed RD. “Nothing like six of your best pals to help you get over how raw you’re getting it.”

“Hey, have a little faith, okay?” I requested. “Believe it or not, I have a plan.” RD raised an eyebrow questioningly. “Okay, fine. Twilight has a plan.”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” said Twilight warmly. “This plan is just as much of you as it is me. Show her, Aiden.”

“Aj, I need Fluttershy,” I said. Applejack nodded, then faded away. Slowly, so slowly that I thought she might’ve been malfunctioning, she was replaced by the quiet, shy, ironically powerful Fluttershy.

“H-hello,” she said meekly. I could tell she still wasn’t too comfortable around me. We only spoke a few times since I unlocked her, and every conversation we had was short and rather one-sided in nature. However, I did discover something rather important about my quietest AI assistant.

“Shy, would you mind doing that thing we talked about?” I asked. “Just to show RD the plan.”

“Oh, I dunno… I don’t really like to do it, if I don’t absolutely have to…” whispered Fluttershy. “I don’t think I should’ve been the one to get this… Oh, can’t you just take my ability and give it to somepony else? I’d much rather have Applejack’s…”

“If I could, I would, but I still can’t mess with your code all that much. I doubt I’ll ever be able to,” I admitted. “You guys are constantly learning, growing, and evolving. So is your code. It would take me weeks to figure out half a line of your main coding, and, by then, it’ll have changed.”

“And I can’t do anything to help, because it’s ingrained in your code,” added Twilight. “The only way to alter something like that would be for me to take you apart line by line, and put you back together. I don’t know if I’d be able to get you back in one piece properly.” She chuckled slightly. “Ironically, all I’d actually have to do is switch a one to a zero.”

“Fluttershy, just give it a go. It’s the only way to keep us in the frying pan,” I said. “I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s preferable to the fire.”

“Well, I-I… I need a… A target…” said Fluttershy reluctantly.

“Ooh! Me! Me!” RD volunteered. I grinned slightly, then gestured for Fluttershy to do her thing. RD eagerly made her way before Fluttershy, who nervously waited for my command.

“Alright, Shy,” I said. I laughed slightly to myself. “Assert yourself.”

And, just like that, Fluttershy used an ability that was appropriately called “The Stare”. Her eyes widened and flashed with intensity, which was not a word I would typically use to describe Fluttershy. As soon as they locked gazes, RD, who was about to open her mouth, froze in place.

“As you can see, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy here has a rather useful ability,” I said with a smirk. “She can freeze any program dead in its tracks. So, the plan is like this.” I motioned for Fluttershy to stop, which she eagerly did. RD cracked her neck and stretched out her body stiffly.

“We’ll all be acting at once, but in two different cells. Cell A will consist of Aj, NK, and you,” I explained to Rainbow. “Cell B will be me, Twi, Rarity, and Fluttershy here. Cell A will be creating a diversion, to keep as much of Regal’s heat off of me as possible.” Twilight, still lacking a proper mouth, could not smile. However, I imagine that, if she could, she would be doing so right now, very, very evilly. Twilight raised her hoof and, due to my own stupidity, I called on her.

“Aiden? Is there any rhyme or reason to these cells?” asked Twilight. “Did you put Rarity on a team with you intentionally? Or was that just incidental?”

RD snickered, silenced by my unamused glare. For a moment, anyway. Once she soaked in my pure annoyance, she laughed even harder than before. I rolled my eyes to once again punctuate how un-funny the situation was.

“Both. I made the teams like this on purpose, I won’t deny that,” I said. “But not for the reasons you’re implying. I need Rarity.”

“Wow, somepony’s clingy,” snickered RD. I waved my hoof through her holographic face, which I had recently learned annoyed them immensely.

“That’s not what I meant. Rarity can make me look like something I’m not,” I explained. “What looks like a harmless cookie is actually malicious software. That’d be us. Look, it has nothing to do with any reasons besides for the success of the mission. If NK could do it, I’d even take her.”

“Okay, so you guys are going to the front lines,” said Dash. “What’re we doing?”

“Like I said, you need to keep the heat off of me. So, I’m taking a calculated risk,” I sighed. “I’m going to let each of you reveal my IP, and take it way far away. One at a time, of course. That way, Regal just might chase it and give me time to… do a thing, I guess.”

RD nodded, though she didn’t seem to understand all the precautions. It was obvious that she was a “take names later” kind of chick, and I’m sure she wasn’t ecstatic about being given the less dangerous job. She needed to be in the action. Hopefully, she’d never get the chance for that again. There’d be no action to be had if my plan ran smoothly.

“Um… Aiden?” said Fluttershy quietly. “If you’re going to spread your IP… Doesn’t that mean that there’s no turning back?”

“That’s exactly what it means. If we screw the pooch here, we’re pretty much out of options,” I admitted. “Well… Almost out of options. I am working on a contingency, but I don’t know how ready it’ll be. I imagine that it won’t be complete in time for our next move, but I think I have a way for it to all play out well.”

The two AI and one android looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to spill the beans on what this contingency was. The very fact that they didn’t know proved that it was working.

“Well?” asked RD. “You gonna tell us what it is?”

“What what is?” I asked.

“This contingency that you’re referring to,” supplied Twilight. Even she didn’t know, which was a very good sign.

“Oh, come on now, guys,” I said with a smirk. “A girl’s gotta have some secrets, right?”

We continued to plan after that, going over exactly what the plan was. We wouldn’t hit all of our stops for another two weeks, at least, and then we’d camp out around Ponyville for another two or three days, to get everything together. I needed to craft some odds and ends to get into the Castle, and then some security measures to ensure that I wouldn’t be interrupted. Once I had all my tools, I’d shave my head, to make it a bit harder to ID me, and then drive to the outskirts of Canterlot. At the point, Cell A would take the RV and my IP, and ran as fast as they could to the other end of the country. I’d lead Cell B to the CCiOS servers and we’d go through with Plan A, which was just uploading the video like any normal employee. If that didn’t work, I had a slightly ironic solution in Plan B. Assuming everything went smoothly, I’d snoop around the place to see what I could see. 

Operation: Canterlot Invasion (Pinkie insisted we give the plan a name) had two objectives. Objective A: Infiltrate the CCiOS main servers, upload the video, and discredit Celestia Regal. Objective B: Find and secure the seventh CCiOS hidden AI. Objective B almost didn’t matter if Objective A worked, seeing as I’d mostly be using lucky number Seven for leverage (and to reunite Twilight with her friends). If Regal went down, it would be only a matter of time before Seven fell into my hooves. If the video idea busted, which I was growingly becoming afraid of, then I’d need Seven as a bargaining chip. Regal couldn’t touch me if I held all seven of them. My problem would solve itself.

There were huge flaws in the plan. I worked through some of them, one of them being Twilight. There was no way in hell that I could walk into Canterlot City Hall with a loud, ugly android such as the one she currently inhabited. Problem was, I needed her to be in the robot so that she could more efficiently use Harmony. The whole plan kinda rested on it. Eventually, through help of NK’s nonsensical ramblings, I came across the idea of a cloaking device. I found some very helpful blueprints among the ones that I stole from Regal that led me to… Something. I couldn’t get it to bend the light properly, so it wouldn’t go completely invisible. Still, I managed to get a good, natural shade of purple, which would be good enough. All I needed was a good wig, and she’d be… Well, less noticeable than usual. She’d look like shit if anypony looked long enough, but it was better than  nothing.

Some problems, I couldn’t fix, like the insane risk, and the tiny window of opportunity I’d have. Using the power of Rarity’s ability to disguise programs, I’d be able to trick the system into lowering performance slightly for maintenance. It would take, at the absolute most, forty minutes. I’d need to move quickly. Like, absurdly quickly. Like, give a quick look around and get the hell out quickly. 

Then, there were the Regals to account for. Surprisingly enough, it was Luna I was concerned with the most. She was inequine to me. Celestia could be angered or annoyed, she showed me that she could bleed. Luna hadn’t. She was also a ghost, apparently, because I couldn’t find a damn thing on her for a while. She seemed to be mostly in the background of Celestia’s story, with very few things about her coming to light until recently. She was doing an AMA a few days before I was set to head out, which I made certain to catch and analyze. Nothing really good, but who knows what might come in handy later?

Those two and a half weeks went by quicker than I’d have liked. It was one of those things where you’re confident you have plenty of time, and then, Boom! The day is on you. You might think you have what you need ready, and you might actually have what you need ready, but you’ll never feel like you have everything you need ready. 

I was working on that secret contingency when we arrived at our final destination. I hid it away on my special hard drive, which I kept on my person at all times (with a single utterance of the word “sassafras”, a small amount of thermite would ignite, melting the disk). We parked about twenty minutes from where we needed to be, where I was expecting a drop from a contact of mine. That’s when I gave myself my unwilling haircut.

With Rarity’s help, I actually made it look pretty okay. I wasn’t quite bald, but my thick, luscious dreads were nothing more than a memory. The sides of my head were a bit shorter than the the top, which was a sort of pixie cut. I wasn’t too into it at first, but Rarity declared it as “fabulous”, so I started to come around. Still, a part of me died when I saw Twilight sweeping up my locks. It took me years to grow those babies out.

So, with a new look, a wig for Twilight that was more or less similar to the hair she portrayed herself wig, and one specially made almost-cloaking device, Cell B was ready to go. 

“Anything I forgot?” I asked Twilight. “Or can we head out now.”

“Your bag is packed, I’m primed and ready for every conceivable scenario,” said Twilight. “Rarity and Fluttershy are on standby, Harmony is running well, Cell A is prepped… Yup, I think that's it. Ready when you are, Aiden."

“Good, it’s time to head out,” I said. I grabbed my saddlebags, fit to burst with useful tech for our job. Twilight activated her almost-cloaking, forcing her chassis to adopt a nice shade of violet.

“I don’t have a Occupational Certification Diploma,” noted Twilight. I grinned, then pressed a few buttons on my Interface. 

“I was using Photoshop to draw out maps and whatnot, and I sometimes needed something to clear my head, so I took the liberty of making you one,” I said as I uploaded the simple JPEG. Her flank shimmered faintly, and a six-point star appeared on it, surrounded by five smaller white stars.

“Wow… I love it! What does it mean?”

“It represents eternity and light,” I explained. “It’s also a symbol of magic and arcane arts. I think it adds a nice shade of irony, don’t you?”
I pushed open the door and stepped out with Twilight trailing slightly behind. The door closed behind her, and, after a short pause, the RV drove away. There were several locations that it would stop by to pick me up at various times, to avoid either Cell from bringing heat onto the other. Behind the RV and Twilight was my contact, a tar black pegasus with a head of messy ivory hair and a saddlebag strapped to his side. He saw me and grinned slightly before making his way towards me.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here,” he said. “The android and the anarchist. You should have a sit-com.”

“Do you have what I want?” I asked. He chuckled to himself.

“Oh, I’m fine, thanks for asking,” he said sarcastically. “Oh, my name? I’m Silver, I didn’t catch yours.”

“Do you have what I want?” I repeated.

“Ugh, you’re no fun. Yes, I have your ID card,” he griped. He reached into his bag and withdrew a small, white, plastic card. “Make good use of it, okay? I don’t wanna have thrown my career away for nothing. I mean, this company is more crooked than a crippled politician, but a paycheck is a paycheck is a paycheck!” I could’ve just paid him what I owed and went about my life. It would’ve been easy, and it would’ve saved the time that I don’t have. 

But I didn’t.

“You know, it’s people like you that drive me to do the things I do,” I said angrily. “You and all the people you work for and with, if we can call them people at all. You mindless robots whose only beliefs are bits in their bank account. Just like all the rest at Aitselec, you have no principles! All you care about is lining your own pockets, and you’ll do anything to make a buck. You’d sell what’s left of your soul if you thought you could turn a profit off of it!” To my vast annoyance, Silver laughed.

“Ever hear of a joke, sweetheart? I hate this company just as much as you do. Perhap even more,” he said. He walked over and pressed the card into my hooves. “Don’t look so shocked. Of course I’m trying to bring down The Big Guy. Why else would I be giving you my ID?”

“Why work for Aitselec?” asked Twilight. Silver looked to her, almost as if he recognized her.

“Know that bit about keeping friends close? The best way to break anything is from the inside.” I snorted my disbelief, which Silver seemed to enjoy. 

“Here’s your bits,” I grumbled, reaching into my saddlebags. Again, his laugh stopped me in my tracks and greatly pissed me off.

“I don’t want your cash. After what I just did, I probably won’t live long enough to spend them,” he snickered. “I just doubted how much you’d believe that I’d part with this ID for free. Make good use of it, is all I can ask. Oh, and, if you can…” He paused to emphasize his enjoyment of the situation. “Pay it forward.”

He walked off before I could put two and two together. When I did, he was almost out of earshot.

“I knew those parts were going to the right hacker!” he called. I couldn’t help but smirk. Twilight didn’t share in the enjoyment.

“What just happened?” she asked.

“Twilight, you just met with your surrogate father,” I snickered. She looked tilted her head in confusion for a bit, then realization slowly dawned on her.

“Oh. That’s what that look was,” she noted. “He recognized the chassis…”

“Come on. We have what we need,” I said. Only thing left was to do the most dangerous thing I’d ever done, that I’d probably ever do. This was, by the looks of things, the final countdown. Failure would result in imprisonment, death, the loss of my AI, or any combination of the 3. This was the most panic-worthy situation I’d ever been in. I’d never been calmer.

Life is strange, huh?
> Phase Two: Infiltration
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Canterlot Castle, a massive beast of a fortress. Technically speaking, it was Canterlot’s City Hall, but most people identified it as Aitselec HQ. The ribcage guarding the heart of CCiOS. A large, round building going up several stories, surrounded by and connected to six tower-esque skyscrapers. I’d have to visit one of those buildings before making my move to the CCiOS’ core. Now, that may seem simple enough, but each of the towers had at least a dozen levels of security to get through. Silver’s ID will help me get through most of them, but there were still a few that I actually had to face.

One was a hallway that would scan my DNA, and, upon finding that I no longer work at Aitselec, electrocute me and drop me to the ground a drooling mess. Another was a series of retina and hoofprint scanners that would trip an alarm in all seven buildings if it didn’t recognize my signature. My favorite was the Wall; It would only open when commanded to by a certified and high-ranking Aitselec employee, and it would basically vegetate anyone who tried to pass through. That’s not mentioning the cameras, numbering in at an estimated crap-ton, the armed guards patrolling the halls, and the dense crowds that are always trying to see something interesting. My plan required me to sneak into at least one of the towers, get past all of that, and cause a distraction, just so I could get on with the actual attack plan.

Christ, this is a terrible idea.

“Aiden, you need to calm down,” said Twilight gently. We were a half block from the Castle, and my earlier serenity was all but gone. Now, I was a nervous wreck. What else is new? “Your heart rate is not supposed to be that high.”

“I can’t help it. We’re going into the belly of the beast here,” I said nervously. “The stakes couldn’t be higher if they were shooting up heroin. How am I supposed to calm down at a time like this?”

“Hey, don’t you want to look cool and brave for Rarity?”

That got me to grow a pair.

“Head in the game, come on, Aiden, you got this,” I muttered to myself. “If you botch this job, it’s all over. You got this.”

“Which building should we go for?” asked Twilight. I looked up to the six spires, each of them as terrifying as the next. Each tower housed a different department of Aitselec, those departments being Finances (gotta keep an eye on the bank if you want to keep up that image of charitability), PR (to tell people the “truth” of the company), Advertising (this one is just for laughs. Who doesn’t buy from Aitselec?), Customer Service (a touch of kindness when dealing with customers goes a long way, they say), External Affairs (keep loyal to your underlings, and they’ll stand by you through anything, and, finally, Research & Development. The place I used to work. The place where the magic happens.

“That back one, R&D,” I ordered. “It’s behind the main Castle, so we’ll have a little bit of concealment. Plus, it’ll be nice to go home for a bit.”

Twilight nodded. She tilted her head slightly at the rear-most tower, sizing it up. It was kinda funny to think about it; This will be the first time she ever actually saw the CCiOS servers. She was created to protect CCiOS, and this would be the first time she got to meet it. And, if I had my way, it’d be the last.

We advanced, our “disguises” apparently holding up. Twilight didn’t look as shitty as I thought she would, mostly due to Rarity directing me to a really good wig. She looked almost like herself, just without her horn. Add it to the list of improvements I’d need to make to her when Regal was out of the picture.

The R&D building was, in a word, terrifying. Despite my familiarity with it, I couldn’t help but be intimidated by it’s dark, looming stature. A hundred-plus stories of prototype, but likely working, tech that could do anything from sew a dress to melt my brain with microwaves. I stood in front of the massive double doors, staring at the dark tinted glass in thought. If there was ever a time for me to be a coward and back out, it was now. I could leave, play it safe, and lay low until I fell off of Regal’s radar. For whatever reason, maybe because Rarity was sitting in my Interface and could see me, I steeled myself and pushed open the door.

The lobby was pristine, and almost entirely deserted. Only three ponies were in the room besides me and Twi: a secretary behind a desk that protected the elevators from invaders, and two lightly armed security guards. One was directly to our right and the other was next to the secretary, operating a metal detector. Stage one of the infiltration was now underway. I was on the cusp of “the point of no return”.

“Hey… This is kinda embarrassing…” I said, trotting up to the desk. “So… I’m supposed to be giving this lovely young lady a tour of the department, right? Problem is… I… I forgot my ID upstairs.” I put on a small, embarrassed smile that I thought was pretty convincing. Through my mostly-closed eyes, I saw the secretary frown apologetically at me.

“I’m sorry, Miss, but there’s not much I can do about that,” she said. “Regulations, you know?”

“Of course, of course, but I had my buddy Silver give me his.” I flashed the card. “He said that he’d leave my name on the list?”

“Hold on just a second, let me check,” said the secretary. She tapped at her Interface, then tilted her head in confusion/amusement. “And you’re… Honey Hips?”

That was when I vowed to find Silver when this was all said and done, and strangle him to death. Slowly.

“Yup. That’s me…” I sighed. “My parents were assholes, I guess. So, am I good to go?” The secretary tapped at her Interface again, then held out her hoof. I passed her the ID, which she scanned and hoofed back over to me.

“Yup, head on up,” she said with a warm smile. It made me feel vaguely bad that I would soon be the reason she was out of a job. “Just head on through the metal detectors, and you’re free to go.”

“Ai-... I mean, Honey?” said Twilight nervously. “Metal detector?”

“Come over here for a sec, Miss,” I said, gesturing to the side. She followed me, slightly nervously. I leaned my head in close and dropped my voice to a whisper.

“Okay, so I didn’t want to say anything, because she’s just now coming to terms with it…” I whispered. “But that girl? She’s in the Make-a-Wish program. She’s probably not going to make it another three weeks. She has a pacemaker, and a bunch of aids for her stomach and liver and what have you. The detector is going to interfere with those, and it might just kill her early.”

The secretary gasped in shock, covering her mouth with her hoof. She glanced over to Twilight, then back to me, just utterly horrified for the apparently terminal mare.

“If you don’t mind me asking…” she said quietly. “What does she have?”

“It’d be easier to tell you what she doesn’t have,” I sighed. We were wasting time. “Would you mind? I swear, we won’t be more than twenty minutes.”

“Of course, of course,” she said kindly. She looked to the security guard and made a cancelling motion with towards her neck. The guard nodded and turned off the machine with his Interface.

“Thank you so much,” I said with a smile. “Come on, Violet, let’s go.” Twilight quickly followed me past the guy and slid down the hall. The path to the elevator had an almost surgical amount of sterility to it. The floor was shining stainless steel, as were the walls and even the elevators. I sighed wistfully at the sight of the glistening doors. Sometimes, I wished to go back to the time when I was oblivious to CCiOS’ corruption. I was a good little programmer, and Aitselec was like home to me. I had everything I could’ve wanted: a secure job, programs to write, a steady (and pretty hefty) paycheck. Guess that’s what I get for sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

“We need to go to one of the basements,” I said. “But Silver’s ID only grants access to floors 1 through ten. Can you get around that?”

“Already on it,” reported Twilight. A short second later and an elevator opened to our left. We entered and let the doors shut completely before I whispered the “Assert yourself” command the idle and waiting Fluttershy. Without creating a visual representation of herself, she froze the cameras that were surely in the elevator, playing a short loop of me and Twi standing and slightly fidgeting in place.

“If this is what Princess Celestia’s security is like, I have high hopes for this mission,” said Twilight. I shook my head, feeling my body lurch suddenly as we began our descent to the lower levels of the building.

“Silver’s card only gives us the most basic of clearance,” I said. “We’ll have to hack through a bunch of stuff manually. It won’t be easy.”

“I’d be concerned if it was. Nothing worth doing is ever easy,” said Twilight. “So, what exactly is the plan from here?”

“We’re gonna phlash the place,” I explained. “Before I got fired, I noticed a small vulnerability in my department, and I’m willing to bet that nopony else has noticed it since. We find it, force it open, and shove in a corrupt firmware image to every computer terminal and Interface here.”

“And brick the whole building,” said Twilight with a nod. “Out of curiosity, how come you didn’t fix the weakness when you first found it?”

“It was on my to-do list, but I never got around to it. It’s super tiny,” I said with a shrug. “I’m confident that nopony but me could’ve found it. Well, maybe Regal, but she’s had no reason to look for it.”

“Which is why I’m afraid that she did,” said Twilight. The elevator dinged, and the doors slowly opened. The two of us stumbled blindly into the dark corridor, taking a moment to get our eyes adjusted to the light, or lack thereof. If the ground floor was clean, sterile, and bright, the basement was anything but. The floor was dirty and rusty  as were the walls, as far as I could tell. The elevators were on the far end of the place, and it went forward for roughly a quarter mile before opening into a massive chamber filled with server towers. One of Canterlot Castle’s Auxiliary Armories.

“Clock up your heater,” I said. “It’s going to get chilly.” We headed forward, keeping an eye out for any of the defenses that were in place. We met our first after just a few moments, and it was only because of Twi’s amazing ability to take in information at a rate comparable to the speed of light.

“Stop!” she commanded suddenly. I didn’t even think about it, I just listened. “It’s the first defense, the DNA scanner.” She pointed a hoof up to the ceiling, where I could make out little ports or vents or something. Further inspection showed that they belted the hall and stretched for a few hooves forward. From where I was, I could make out a flat panel of some sort of touchscreen glass, a in-wall computer terminal. No doubt to control the scanner, and to turn it off for maintenance.

“Alright, you’re up, Shy,” I said. “Come on out.” A projector levitated from my bag and beamed Fluttershy’s image onto the world. She timidly stepped forward, inspecting the area before her before running across the floor to the terminal. This would take some doing to get done.

Twilight walked across, very slowly. It took her five minutes to take a walk that should’ve taken her thirty seconds. While she made her trek, Fluttershy was freezing the program periodically, essentially taking many frames and sewing them together into a five minute long animation. When Twilight crossed the threshold of the defense, another projector rose from my bag. This one projected a featureless outline of me. I walked inside of it and moved through the trap along with it. If I took a single step too quickly or too slowly, I would be outside of Fluttershy’s frozen zone. Unfortunately, even a CCiOS AI couldn’t entirely manipulate the system.

“That was very clever,” said Twilight as I crossed the finish line. Fluttershy whispered a nearly inaudible farewell and vanished back into my bag. “I’d expect no less from you.”

“You flatter me. I wasn’t even sure if this would work at first,” I admitted. “Glad it did, or I’d have had to drop the whole building’s power. This is a bit more inconspicuous.” Twilight nodded in agreement, then kept on down the hall. I followed her, urging myself to pay more attention to the world around me. If it weren’t for Twi, I’d have tripped the DNA scanner. I couldn’t afford to be so sloppy. My efforts were quickly rewarded, as I caught sight of a retina scanner before even Twilight. Of course, Twilight was probably holding back so as to not look like a show-off. A large circle that resembled a camera lens at about eye level, and a flat panel jutting out just beneath it. That was all it would take to lock down the building and send every security guard in all seven buildings after me.

“Rares, we need you out here,” I said. Quite quickly, Rarity’s projector floated out, followed by the beauty herself. She had a determined gleam in her eye, and had the new addition of orange reading glasses. God, she was gorgeous.

“How may I be of assistance, Ms. Aigo?” she asked. I couldn’t help but smile like a goof at her, despite the severity of the situation.

“Twilight needs to look like she works here,” I said. “Make her fabulous.” Upon hearing the command, Rarity activated her “Radiance” program. She produced a needle and thread from nowhere and sewed some invisible fabric into a gorgeous red dress (for no real reason at all), and threw it onto Twilight’s body.

“There you are, darling, you should be able to get on just fine now,” said Rarity, leaning back to admire her work. “Go on, darling, try it out.” Twilight moved to the scanner and practically shoved her face against the wall. Rarity rewrote the program on the scanners to see the camera that I used to improvise eyes for Twilight as Celestia’s retina. When she placed her hoof on the panel, it accepted it as Regal’s own hoofprint. My gal was something special, wasn’t she?

Er… Well, my artificially-generated, computerized, entirely not-real gal, that is. Am I pathetic or what?

“We should be good,” said Twilight. “You can go back inside, if you want, Rarity.”

“If you require my services, please, do not hesitate to call,” said Rarity. All too soon, Rarity disappeared into my bags. It was just as well, I suppose. I could do without the distraction.

“I’ve been concerned,” said Twilight as we advanced towards the Wall. “This has been far too easy so far.”

“I was just thinking the same thing. Maybe Regal cut back on security,” I foolishly suggested. “Or maybe she has them all in the center building to protect the servers. Or maybe, just maybe we got lucky this once, and they’re all on break or something.” I sighed. Even in my mind, that was hilariously unlikely.

We approached the Wall, which was a thin pane of highly compressed electricity, crackling faintly and leaking heat. It wasn’t quite solid, but it would stop you in your tracks if you’re dense or weak-willed enough. If you either really wanted to get through (like me) or were a bit on the lighter side (also like me), you could eventually work your way through. Problem was, if you did so, somewhere between 100,000 and a million volts of electricity would fry your primary motor cortex (most of your frontal lobe, really) and leave you a twitching, drooling, brain-dead waste of time. Not a fate I’d wish on anypony, least of all myself. Luckily for me, I had Twi with me.

“Last but not least, Twilight. Do your thing,” I instructed. Twilight nodded, then cleared her throat (needlessly, I might add).

“Name: Celestia Regal,” said Twilight, in a perfect imitation of Regal. “Position: Founder and Chief Executive Officer. Clearance Level: Six.” The Wall fizzled out of existence, slowly breaking apart from the center. A gust of cold wind poured from the ever-growing hole in the R&D building’s last line of defense. This room would have to be freezing, given the number of servers working at all times. They’d melt, otherwise.

“Alright. This is a hell of a lot of work we’re doing before the job actually starts,” I groaned. I stepped into the server room, which I was very familiar with. Fifty blinking server towers to either side, stretching from end to end with just a few hooves of space between them and the wall. To my left would be a door that would lead to Advertising. To my right, a door that leaded to External Affairs. But dead ahead, that door would lead directly to the heart of the CCiOS. Best part was, I wouldn’t have to work through those defenses again. In bricking this building, I’d also be bricking the tunnels adjacent to it. After this, I was in the black.

“Let’s see about this vulnerability of yours,” said Twi, closing in on the nearest servers.

“Pah. Good luck, Twi,” I snickered. “I know you’re good and all, but nopony is finding it. It’s so amazingly tiny. It took me three months to-”

“Found it. Relatively easily, actually,” said Twilight.

I hated her sometimes.

“You find my nearly-invisible vulnerability, the one that took me three months to uncover, in thirty seconds?”

“Meh. Twelve,” admitted Twi. “I thought it would crush your spirits if I spoke up immediately.”

“Well, you were right,” I sighed. “Rares, come make the fake firmware image.” Rarity stepped daintily out of my saddlebag with a small purse comprised of purple 1’s and 0’s. She opened the bag and pulled out an orb of bluish-black light. After giving it a once over, likely trying to find a flaw in her design she could correct, she handed it to Twilight, who slammed it onto the ground. The light burst outwards, bathing the entire room with its glow. Every server in the place stopped blinking, replaced by a constant crimson light. Anything that ran on these servers were now about as useful as a hooful of pebbles.

“Nice work, girls, now let’s go,” I said, gripped with that strange emotion called confidence. I began to think that we might actually succeed. I don’t know how much of that feeling was from the likeliness of our success and how much was from the adrenaline rush I got from taking down my former place of employ. The only form of revenge more absolute would be shutting down CCiOS itself.

Baby steps, Aiden. Baby steps.

“This is it,” said Twilight. She took point and led the way to and through the door. Again, no real resistance. We moved forward unhindered, which was massively nerve-racking. I kept expecting a squadron of Aitselec goons to come put the brakes on me, but it never happened. It was as glorious as it was terrifying.

“Aiden, what do you plan to do next?” asked Twilight. “When Princess Celestia is gone?”

“I dunno. Never gave it too much thought,” I admitted. “I guess I’ll keep doing what I do; Dig around for information until it kills me. Should be easier with you guys to help me.” Twilight went silent, but not in her usual way. This was a more uncomfortable quiet, more awkward. Tense, even.

“Aiden… I… Okay, it has nothing to do with you,” she promised me. “It’s just… Well, I’m free now. I want that for my friends. So, I was planning, when we found Number Seven, I was planning to design us all androids like this one and… Well, I thought you and I would go our separate ways.”

It wasn’t unexpected. In fact, it made far more sense than the idea of her sticking with me. Twilight could do basically anything she wanted. Why bother with a crook like me? Still, I managed to convince myself that Twilight and I were somehow forever linked. Truth be told, Regal was probably the only reason that Twilight stayed as long as she did. We were bound only by a common enemy, and when that goes, she has no reason to stay. I tried to kill her, NK, and, by proxy, the rest of the AI. It’d be in their best interest to put some distance between them and me.

“Right.” I said, shaking off the shock that shouldn’t have been. God, this hallways was stretching forever. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to, like, imply that… Of course, you have your own things going on. Forget I said anything.”

“Not to say that I’ll never see you again,” Twilight said, in what I assumed was her attempt to amend the situation. “Just… You must admit, it makes sense to do our own thing for a bit. We’ll get more done that way. I swear, it has-”

“Twilight, do me a favor, and stop trying to spare my feelings,” I said. “I hate bullshit. Let’s just focus on the task at hoof.”

I didn’t have to look to know that we were approaching the CCiOS’ servers. If the R&D’s server room was chilly, this one was arctic in nature. It would have to be, with double the hardware working three times as hard. If I wanted a short term end to CCiOS, all I needed to do was mess up the thermostat. However, I wanted something a bit more permanent.

“Twi, put the place on lockdown,” I ordered. I reached into my saddlebag and tossed her a bundle of six thick silver cylinders that looked vaguely like glue sticks. She went around the room to each of the doors, the one that connected to each of the Auxiliary Armories, and pressed a cylinder to each doorknob. They were magnetic locks, of Regal’s design and my composition, that were guaranteed to keep those doors locked until I either released them or a bomb went off, whichever came first. I also modified them to electrify the other side of the door, providing a nasty (nonlethal) dose of electricity to the poor bastard sent to check the servers.

“The belly of the beast,” I said. I couldn’t help but gawk at the sheer number of servers. The power of these babies was amazing.

“There’s a terminal over there,” said Twilight, pointing to my right. I nodded and trotted over to it. It was a tower about eye-level, with a flat screen tilted towards me. I took in a deep breath, then activated it. There was a short boot-up sequence, in which I was bombarded with Aitselec logos. Once they were done pushing their company (to their own freaking employees, by the way), I maneuvered to the employee net. It wasn’t hard to fabricate a user (I named it Nedia Ogia, in true Regal fashion), and I had Rarity and Twilight work together to get me security clearance. It took us around twenty minutes to get through, and it wasn’t as easy as I’d hoped. I did get in eventually,and, from there, it should be easy.

“Alright, here we go,” I said. I bit my lip in anticipation, then began the upload. The video wasn’t long, and the file size was very small, so it should’ve been completed in seconds.

The upload never progressed from 0%

“What the hell?” I said. I ran my own brand of maintenance for what was probably the sixth time. The video just refused to upload, despite my best efforts. “Twi, check this out for me. What’s the issue?”

“Hm… I can’t be sure,” she said after a moment of thought. “It looks like it should be uploading fine, but…” She smacked her forehead, the answer apparently obvious.

“What? Did we do something dumb?” I asked.

“We bricked the R&D department, which feeds directly into here,” groaned Twilight. “That’s a sixth of the building’s resources. So, it would stand to reason that the servers have a failsafe. It clearly does.”

“It locked itself down,” I said, slapping myself similarly. “That makes sense! Why didn’t I think of that?!”

“What now?”

I bit my tongue in thought. I had one option, singular, and it probably wouldn’t work. Still, I couldn’t turn back now. I only had the one choice. I dug into my saddlebags and pulled out the AR visor. This thing scanned your brain and interpreted its electrical charges as commands, which is what allowed me and Regal to manipulate the chatroom, or ourselves inside of the chatroom. The ability to feel what was going on, interpret emotion, and even taste the coffee from the cafe, all of that was do to it sending tiny shocks to your brain. In theory, I could use the visor to quickly and easily manipulate the CCiOS, remove the failsafe, and upload the video like that.

Time to test my theory.

“Twilight, jack this in, will ya?” I asked. She nodded, then closed her eyes in concentration.

“Would you like me to come in with you?” asked Twilight.

“Yeah. Matter of fact, I want you to give the android to Fluttershy for a bit.” I slipped the visor on. “And Rarity will stay with her. If they manage to bust down the locks, Shy will be able to buy us enough time to get out.”

Fluttershy heard me, and stepped out of my bags nervously. Rarity was by her side, for emotional support, I imagine. I dropped onto my flank and powered on the visor. Since there was no pre-created sim, and there was no time or point in creating one, I’d be looking directly at a bunch of 1s and 0s, and would be moving them around with my mind. It’d be tough to make any sort of sense of the code, but with time, I’d be able to get it. I’d better, because I didn’t have much time before Regal wisened up to my RV scapegoat and came kicking in the door.

“Ready?” asked Twilight. “This is gonna be kinda bumpy.”

“Jack me in, Twi,” I commanded. Beams of red poured into my eyes, swiping across my retina with increasing speed. It soon tinted my vision entirely with crimson, blinding me. I was prepared for a series of green numbers on a black backdrop.

I collapsed onto a cold marble floor, hearing a body fall beside me. I couldn’t quite see where I was, my vision was splattered with flashes and blotches. I slowly regained my sight, just enough to make out the general area. Rows upon rows of mosaic windows, lining the walls of the massive chamber. Just a few yards from me was some sort of throne, elevated on a few steps draped with a red carpet.

“The hell?” I said. “Twilight?”

“Yeah, I’m here,” she mumbled. She pushed herself to her hooves by my side. “This isn’t proper?”

“Is that my faithful student I hear?” The voice chilled my blood. I was afraid of running into her, but I thought I’d at least do it in a way I understood.

Hooves tapped against marble, marking the elegant, powerful gait of the enemy. Celestia took a seat in her throne, smiling kindly. She wore a golden tiara and some sort of amulet or necklace thing, the type of thing that a princess would wear. What really floored me was her mane and tail; they shimmered and floated almost gaseously.

“Hello, Twilight,” she said brightly. “Who is this? A friend of yours, I take it?”

“What’s the deal, Regal? Don’t recognize me?” I said.

“Regal? That’s a name ponies have not known me as in many years,” chuckled Celestia slightly. “I’m afraid I don’t recognize you, sadly. Perhaps introductions are in order?”

“Princess Celestia? Can you explain to me what exactly you think you’re doing?” said Twilight coldly. “This isn’t funny.”

“Hm? You seem distressed. Come, let us-” Celestia’s image flickered faintly, fizzling out and coming back sharply. Her expression had drastically shifted. She wasn’t smiling anymore, not in the same way. This smile was more like a grimace. She was about to do something she didn’t want to.

But she’d find a way to enjoy it, in any case.

“Just as I am beginning to believe you to be a mare of intelligence, you go out and do something as foolish as this,” she said. “As if you expected me to not find out. Though, I should give credit where credit is due. It is most impressive of you to have hacked into my sim all the way from Whinnyapolis. I could hardly believe it at first.”

She thought we were in Whinnyapolis! We were getting away with it! I couldn’t let this advantage slip, I had to make the most of it. That meant one thing: Stall.

“What can I say? Between my own genius and your AI, it was easy,” I said snobbishly. “Oh, sorry, I meant my AI.”

“You intend to anger me, and you may well succeed,” said Celestia calmly. “But you are not aware of the ramifications of pissing me off on this day.”

“Piss you off? Would it piss you off if I told you I figured it out?” I said. Twilight looked at me in confusion, while Regal raised an eyebrow in intrigue.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I figured it out. Number Seven. I know who it is,” I said, smirking boldly.

“Aiden, what are you-”

“No point in hiding it, Twilight. There’s nothing she can do about it.” Regal grinned properly and stood up from her throne. She began to pace, holding back a snicker or two.

“Alright, Aigo, I will humor you,” said Celestia. “Who is the Seventh AI?”

“It’s obvious. It was staring me right in the face,” I bluffed. I hoped my poker face could hold up under the pressure. “I should’ve known from the start, but I figured it out eventually. The obvious truth, waltzing right in plain sight. The last Canterlot City Internal Operating System Artificial Intelligence…”

“Is you, Celestia Regal.”
> Phase Three: Assault
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Regal tried to pretend as if she bought the crap I had just shovelled, just as I tried to pretend to do the same. It was of the utmost importance that Regal believed me to be an idiot. The dumber she thought I was, the less of a threat I seemed to her, and, by extension, the less of a threat she was to me.

I knew for a fact that she wasn’t actually the last AI. How could she be? I had seen her in real life, and no amount of artificial skin or almost-cloaking devices would stop Twi from noticing another android in the room. That said, I still had no clue who Number Seven actually was, but I knew it wasn’t Regal.

“Cat got your tongue?” I taunted. “Or did your creator just forget to program a response to this scenario?”

“Aiden, if she’s an AI, who made her?” asked Twilight. 

“Easy. Luna. She stayed in the background, avoided the spotlight,” I explained. Ignoring the huge evidence against it, this was actually a pretty solid explanation. “Why paint a target on her back unnecessarily? Only thing I haven’t figured out is why. Seven genius AI to maintain a simple operating system that went on fine without them for a hundred years seems like overkill.”

“There are some angles to the situation that you will never understand,” said Regal. I shrugged slightly, in a way that she interpreted as “maybe, maybe”, when it in fact meant “go buck yourself”.

“Well, let’s address the elephant in the room,” I said. “This room itself. Where the hell are we?”

“We are in Equestria. My Equestria. The true Equestria,” said Celestia. “This is what Canterlot was like thousands of years ago, before the magic was bled out of our great capital, out of our very species.” She deposited herself back into her throne. “This is what Equestria should be.”

“You know, I’d like, just once, for you to answer my question without any of the flowery bullshit you just gave me,” I groaned. “Cause now I gotta ask you what the hell all that means.”

“If I told you, you’d never understand,” said Regal. “For the purposes of our discussion, this is home. This is where I slumbered for some hundred years, and this was where Twilight was born.”

“I was made, not born,” said Twilight. “And that’s not possible. I had to have been made before your cryosleep.”

“TW1 was made. Twilight Sparkle was born. You can create a program, but a mere program, you are not.” said Regal. She looked at Twilight with a pitying sort of reverence. “You are so much more than that, and I apologize for letting you fall into her hooves. You could have, you should have been so much more than what you are now.”

“With all due respect, Princess Celestia, however little that may be, I don’t think you really know what you’re talking about,” said Twilight. She took a step forward, almost threateningly. “You say I should’ve been more than I am now, but what exactly am I now? Because I genuinely don’t know. I’m not an AI anymore, am I? But I’m not a pony, either. You made sure that I’ll never be a pony. So what am I?”

“You’re confused, for one. You’re misguided. Most of all, you’re not thinking straight.” Regal stood up again, accepting the challenge. “And it’s showing. Were you within your right mind, you would have never come here.

“And why’s that?” I asked Regal chuckled to herself, shaking her head knowingly.

“Do you recall the cafe?” asked Regal rhetorically. “I materialized a cup of tea. Didn’t you think that I’d be able to do so much more?”

“I made a door. Your move.”

“You truly are an idiot. That was in the cafe. This is not a cafe. Where we were before, that existed within the realms of your Equestria. Now, we are in mine, and the rules are different.” She began to glow, with the bright white light concentrating just behind her shoulders. “This is my kingdom, my dominion, and I know the rules. You know nothing!”

The light popped, and two massive wings furled out from them. She spread her new appendages out wide, so that we could see every ivory feather. She flapped her wings and slowly rose into the air.

“I can do things that you can’t even fathom.” Her horn became surrounded by this sunny yellow glow. “With a mere thought, I can end your life. The only thing standing between you and your demise, Ms. Aiden Aigo, is my own patience, which, I assure you, is running thin!”

“You can’t hurt me. You’re a program.” Maybe we should’ve called the plan “Operation: Canterlot Poker Face”. “We’re in a simulation! It might feel real, but it’s not.”

“Aiden, we should go,” warned Twilight. Regal chuckled, her horn glowing even more intensely.

“You should listen to your AI,” she said venomously. “She may not be thinking straight, but she still has enough sense to see that you’re in danger. So, my faithful student, why don’t you explain it to your new master. For old time’s sake.” Twilight seemed reluctant to comply, but apparently had no choice.

“When wearing the visor, your brain is being constantly jolted with electrical charges,” said Twi quietly. “It does this so your body can interpret nervous sensory stimuli that you would experience inside the sim. It would've stand to reason that, were you to be hit with a large amount of stimuli, the visor would overload and fry your brain.”

Well. That was concerning.

“All it would take is one little blast of magic, and you’d be out of my hair forever,” whispered Regal. A jet of golden light fired from her horn, burning a scorch mark into the ground before me. It moved like a bullet, too fast for me to even consider dodging if it were coming right for me. “Just like that, and you’d be wishing you were dead! I’ve given you enough warnings, don’t you agree? It’s time for our little battle to-”

“Jesus Christ, shut the hell up and shoot me already,” I said. The look on her face almost made this whole thing worth it. “Seriously, could you be any more dramatic? You’re not gonna shoot me. That makes you a criminal, and we all know that you have to be better than that. You’re better than me, aren’t you?” Her horn-glow-bullshit faded slightly. “Yeah, that’s about what I thought. Let’s go, Twi. We have work to do.”

That’s when I made a mistake. A pretty big one, actually. See, I knew for a fact that Regal wouldn’t shoot me, and she definitely wouldn’t hurt Twilight. She’d never incriminate herself like that. I thought I’d trot right out the door and figure out how to upload the video. My mistake was my certainty. Apparently, I had done too good a job of getting under Regal’s skin.

I never saw it. I never heard it. Hell, I hardly even felt it, at first. A chill ran up my right hind leg, freezing to the bone. It was such a bizarre type of cold, the sort that you never really recover from. It spread up to my front leg, before it exploded into burning agony. I crumpled beneath my own weight, screaming in pain as Twilight dragged me out of the way of another blast.

“That was just a fraction of my power,” said Regal. “Not very pleasant, is it?” She charged her horn for what I was sure would be a killing blow. I couldn’t move at all, let alone fast enough to avoid an attack like that. There was no evading this.

“No,” said Twilight. She ran between me and Regal, blocking my body with her own. “You will not hurt her.”

“Twilight, dear, I have been patient enough with you,” said Regal coldly. “Do not make me hurt you.”

“You won’t do it.” Twilight planted her hooves even more firmly into the ground. “You wouldn’t dare harm me.”

“If I have to break you down line by line, then so be it.” Twilight was gripped in the same sort of yellow light that surrounded Regal’s horn. “For your own good.”

Twilight let out a shriek that I doubted she’d be able to duplicate in less drastic circumstances. Her horn began to glow purple, raining white sparks around her, most of which fizzled and popped into nonexistence before hitting the ground. She shook free of Regal’s grasp and fired a similar bolt of light, which Regal deflected with her horn.

“Twilight, don’t do anything stupid,” I said, trying (and mostly failing) to bring myself back to my hooves.

“If I ever told you that, would it stop you from doing what you thought was right?” asked Twilight, not taking her eyes off of her opponent. “Even if you were wrong, you did what you thought was best. Now, it’s my turn.”

“You think a criminal like her understands the difference between right and wrong?” growled Regal. She fired another shot, which Twilight dodged. “She’s a thief!” Another shot, this time deflected. “A terrorist!” Twilight just barely evaded the next one, ducking just in time to avoid having her horn blown off. “A killer!”

“Hey!” I shouted. I swallowed my pain for a while, just long enough to say my bit. “I’ve never, ever killed anypony on purpose! You don’t think I feel bad for what I did?”

“Scum like you don’t feel bad about your crimes. That’s why you keep breaking the law. You don’t care!” Regal grabbed Twilight with her magic again, but, this time, she threw her across the room. I couldn’t see where she landed, but I heard the dull thud of Twilight's body against the wall. Now, with nothing between the two of us, her shot was clear. She fired a massive blast of light, twice as big as the others, coming directly for my face. I closed my eyes, expecting the pain to rip through my face and reduce me to a shell of my former self. 

When I woke up, I was on the floor of an apartment that I was positive didn’t belong to me. How I got there, or how long I’d been there, or even where there was, I had no clue. I felt like I was just walking into the main CCiOS server room. No, stuff happened after that…

“Worst hangover ever,” I groaned, clutching my head. I took a look around the little studio apartment, trying to get my bearings. It definitely looked like a place I would crash; Simple, cluttered with computer junk and energy drink cans, and quiet. The whole place was basically barren. There were no posters or paintings, and, besides the bed, computer desk and one-mare dining table set, there was no furniture at all. I pushed myself to my hooves, nearly collapsing right back to my original position. The only thing that saved me was Twilight’s android, which I somehow managed not to notice until I was using it to prop myself up.

“Sorry,” I said. My AI assistant didn’t respond. “Twi? You there?” Nothing. “Anypony here? Aj? RD? Shy?” Still, no response. “Ugh. NK, you here?” Her silence was something I normally begged for, and I was terrified now that it was here. “Uh… Rarity? You here? If you’re here, please say something.”

A projector floated from the kitchenette, beaming the image of Rarity into the world. She smiled darkly at me, not entirely happy with the situation but seeing some sort of silver lining.

“Hello, darling. I was beginning to fear for your health,” said Rarity. “You’ve been out cold for a few days. You really should eat something, and drink some water. Twilight stocked up the refrigerator before she left.”

“Left?” I asked shakily. She was right. Now that I thought about it, I was really thirsty. I hobbled to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. The cold liquid made me feel a bit better, if more aware of how hungry I was. “Where’d she go? What happened? Where are we?”

“Slow down, darling, one at a time,” said Rarity. “We are in an apartment in Ponyville. Twilight paid for it and moved you here after you passed out. Then, she and the others went back into CCiOS to search for Number Seven, and to ensure the damage was done.”

“Rares, I don’t remember anything. What damage?” I asked. Rarity grinned proudly.

“We did it. The video was uploaded, and Princess Celestia resigned.” Her smirk grew upon seeing my own. “CCiOS is all but destroyed. All Twilight has to do is get what she needs and then leave. Isn’t it wonderful?”

“We won?” I asked, hardly daring to believe it. “Holy hell, we won!” There were still some bits that didn’t quite make sense, but Rarity seemed happy, which was enough for me. Until I could straighten my head a bit. 

“Yes, Ms. Aigo. You’ve won,” Rarity laughed slightly. “I don’t know when the girls will be back, and it will be just us until they do. I assure you, I can perform nearly as well as Twilight, so you shouldn’t worry about losing much function now that she’s gone.”

“I know you’ll do fine.” I felt a trickle of something thick and warm down my lip from my nose. It turned out to be blood.

“Ms. Aigo, are you okay?” asked Rarity. “I’d fetch you some tissue, but… Well, obvious obstacles prevent me from doing so.”

“It’s fine. I’m okay,” I said. I wiped the blood from my face, grabbed a napkin from the kitchen, and plugged up my nostril. “Likely just a side effect of getting hit by that freaking spell.” I remembered the spell coming right for me, to take my head clean off. “How'd I survived that, anyway? I was sure that’d be a kill blow.” Rarity bowed her head modestly, smiling while she did.

“I was standing guard with Fluttershy, and I sensed your conflict, so I entered the sim to make sure everything was okay,” she recalled. “I saw Princess Celestia aim at you, and I just reacted.” My jaw hit the floor, which made my AI assistant blush profusely.

“You… You took the shot for me?” I asked.

“There was no question. I couldn't just stand there and let you take the brunt of the attack.” Rarity giggled nervously. “It didn't do a wealth of good, anyway. You were still struck, and you were knocked out for several days. I wish I could've taken it all, we might be in a more comfortable apartment.” I laughed breathlessly. I couldn't believe her. She was… Hot damn, she was amazing.

“You saved my life,” I pointed out.

“As you saved mine,” she returned. “I suppose this makes us even?”

“Not if you plan on leaving once your debt is paid off.” I said it as a joke, and she knew that. Still, I’d be very upset if she left.

“I am here to stay, Ms. Aigo,” she said with a small smile. “Even if Twilight does leave, I’d like to stay.” I said nothing, which I guess kinda scared her. “Erm… That is, of course, assuming you… Ahem. If you’ll have me, that is.”

“Why?” I asked. She blinked curiously at me. “I mean… Why do you want to stay? Wouldn’t you want to go with Twilight? Your friends?”

“I thought you were my friend.”

“I am. If you’ll have me, that is.” The two of us locked gazes and chuckled. I hobbled back to the fridge and grabbed an apple. It seemed like the thing was finished in two bites. “Just didn’t think you thought of me as yours.”

“Of course you’re my friend, Ms. Aigo,” sighed Rarity. Her tone betrayed her smile.

“You don’t seem too pleased with that.”

Rarity made this weird scoffing sound, but it became evident that it was more towards herself than anypony else. She trotted around me, but never looked me in the eyes.

“I should be grateful. I should be happy to have you as my friend,” grumbled Rarity. “But I can’t help but feel… Lacking.”

There was no way in Equestria that this was going where I thought it was.

“Rares?” I said. “What’re you talking about?”

“You are my friend, and that will never change. However… I often times wish you could be more than that.” I looked at her with an expression that was best summed up as “Huh?”. I heard every word she said, and I understood what they meant separately. Together, in a sentence, I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

“I know it could never work. I’m an AI, for pete’s sake,” groaned Rarity. “Still, I can’t help but fancy you. You’re so clever and charming.”

“Charming?” I said questioningly. “You think I’m charming?”

“Well, perhaps a little brash and rough around the edges,” admitted my apparent admirer. “But I think that adds to your appeal. I can’t explain it, but there’s something about you that I-”

I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life, and few were stupider than what I did just then. It was as if I couldn’t stop myself. I should’ve regretted it, but I didn’t.

I kissed her, or, I got as close to kissing her as possible. As soon as our lips “met”, Rarity blushed bright pink, but she soon relaxed. I don’t recall how long we held it, but it felt like we broke away far too soon.

“You kissed me,” she said quietly.

“You kissed back,” I said, just as softly.

“Did you forget that I’m a hologram?” I laughed awkwardly.

“Yeah, I did.” I smirked slyly. “Did you?” She smiled back, though, significantly more nervously than I did.

“Erm… Well… Perhaps....” Her blush had returned with a vengeance. “Um… What happens now?”

“What happens now is I do some shopping for parts to make you the best android conceivable,” I said. “I’m gonna get you a body, with hair and skin and nerves and muscles, and you’re going to become a real mare. Until then, feel free to use Twilight’s body, she’s not using it right now. But I promise you this: I will make you one of your own.”

“Thank you, Ms. Aigo.”

“Please. Call me Aiden.” I wasn’t sure when exactly my life became a living cliche, but I imagine it was right around that point.

My new job became clear: make Rarity an android, wait for Twilight to get back with Seven, and try not to starve to death. That was easy, with my new girlfriend making sure I remembered to do trivial things like eat and breathe. It was kind of annoying for somepony to care about me, but I got used to it pretty quickly. The first week was amazing, and things seemed to be getting better as time went on. Only one problem.

My nose wouldn’t stop bleeding.
> 100%
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	“You have mail, Ms. Aigo.”

I jerked forward in bed, and ran out for the door. I tripped over my bedsheet, tangling myself in the fabric and collapsing to a heap just a few hooves away. My heart was racing, and I couldn’t exactly tell why. I thought I heard something, but…

“Aiden!” shrieked Rarity. She immediately ran to my side and began scanning me for injury. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry I scared you,” I said. I unwrapped myself embarrassedly. “When your mail alert went off, I thought I heard somepony else.”

“Somepony else? Somepony like who?” I strained my brain in thought, trying to recall exactly. I felt like I must’ve heard it before, but I couldn’t imagine where or when.

“I dunno. It’s right on the edge of memory,” I sighed. “Sorry.”

“It’s quite alright, darling. It’s common for your dreams to sort of leak out when you awake,” said Rarity with a knowing nod. “You know, I wouldn’t normally disturb your sleep, but I couldn’t resist! This news is too big!”

I was happy with Rarity. She was charming, funny, and gorgeous to boot. However, she had one fatal flaw, and that is her sense of priority. This big news was, undoubtedly, entirely pointless trivia that I, as a good girlfriend, had to endure.

“Lay it on me, Rares.”

“AIT wants to give you a job!” she squealed excitedly. “They found out you were the one to expose Princess Celestia, and they looked into your skillset, and they want you to work for them!”

“What the hell is AIT?” I asked. “I feel like I should know that name…”

As it turned out, AIT was the Appleloosa Institute of Technology, a college that I didn’t even know existed. In fact, it had closed down awhile back, only to reform a few months ago, when Regal first backed down. In the short period of time since, they’ve become Equestria’s premier tech institute. They wanted me to teach a class on Computer Engineering, despite my lack of diploma and my criminal record.

“Gee, I dunno,” I said. “I don’t know how good I’ll be at teaching…”

“Nonsense, you will be fabulous! You’re a genius, darling, how could you not be a good professor?” asked Rarity rhetorically. “This… This is what you’re all about! Spreading the knowledge and information so that things never die. This could be your chance to help others like yourself recognize a way to improve the status quo, as it were. Isn’t that what your Diploma Tattoo means?”

She wasn’t wrong. This would be the perfect opportunity to live up to me destiny, what with my main obsession resolved. The pay would be pretty good, from what I could tell. More than enough for me to live comfortably and get Rarity all the things she needed for her body. Still, I hesitated. Just because I was good with computers doesn’t mean I can teach others to be.

“Just imagine it,” said Rarity. She trotted around and pecked me on the cheek. “Professor Aigo. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“It does have a bit of a ring to it,” I admitted. A strong throb of pain shot through my head, making me grimace slightly. “I think I should go to the doctors if these headaches get any worse.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine, darling,” said Rarity dismissively. “I have an order of some very powerful headache medication coming in for you, it should should be here by tomorrow.”

“How powerful are we talking here?” I asked.

“It’s called acetemetachlorix, and it’s apparently the most expensive headache reliever on the market,” said Rarity. “Only the best for my professor.”

“Hm. I think you’re committing me to this more than I’d like. E-mail them, tell them I’ll think about it.”

A sharp stab rang through my head, so intense it made my vision go blurry. It was a unique, but familiar, type of pain. Almost out of reflex, I reached for a paper towel, which I used to wipe the blood dripping from my nose.

“Let’s hope it gets here soon,” I said. “Speaking of getting here soon, Twilight has been gone for a really long time, don’t you think? I’m thinking maybe we should go in after her?”

“I’m not so sure. I’d hate to interrupt her,” said Rarity. “What if she needs absolute isolation in order to get Seven to show themselves? We don’t know the situation, and I for one do not want to be the one to ruin it.”

A fair point, as always, but something was still nagging at me. I wasn’t happy with the lack of my other assistants. It made me nervous, like I wouldn’t ever see them again. I was probably just being possessive.

“Still… How long has it been? Four months?” I asked. “Don’t you think we should at least see if we can find them? They could be in trouble.”

The next shockwave of pain felt like somepony drilling from the inside of my brain out. I lost vision for a second and stumbled to the ground. Rarity screamed, although I couldn’t hear it over the ringing in my ears. I blinked, the blurring room spinning around me as I felt the energy leave my body. Black tinged my eyes and, within a few seconds, I blacked out.





“Wake up, Ms. Aigo.”

The same voice. Not Rarity, but somepony I knew. I didn’t hear the voice as much as I felt it. The tingling, burning of her cold regality ran up my spine. She wasn’t asking me, and she wasn’t concerned for my safety. It was a command. One that I ignored, at least at first.

“Wake up, Ms. Aigo. Now.”

Through what felt like no action of my own, I opened my eyes. I was somehow tucked into bed, with moonlight beaming through my window. I didn’t have to look to my right to know that Rarity was by my side. I could hear her quiet, and entirely unnecessary, breathing. It was soothing, and oddly invigorating. I was starting to feel as if I never passed out.

“Hey, babe,” I said, sitting up in bed. “Sorry for the scare. I really think I should see somepony about this.”

“I’ve been waiting for you, Ms. Aigo.”

That was most certainly not Rarity. That was something more menacing than her. It took me a moment to place her voice, a moment in which my heart stopped in my chest. I couldn’t form an image of her face in my mind.

“Try harder, Ms. Aigo. We must talk.”

It was like waking up in the middle of the night and trying to remember the nightmare you were just having. The harder I concentrated on who this mare was, the more the image slipped away. Something about her tone was familiar. The cool calmness in her voice. She sounded like a queen or princess. Almost regal.

Regal…

“Regal!” It all came flooding back to me. I rushed out of bed, making a break for the door. I didn’t make it far before a chill ran through my whole body. A cerulean light shrouded me, keeping me in place while my uninvited guest trotted around to look me in the eye.

“We do not have time for this foolishness,” said Luna Regal, her horn glowing with the same blue light. “Understand two things, Ms. Aigo. One, if I wanted to kill you, I could do it right now with very little effort and two, if you run, I will find you.” She looked me in the eye, reading me for defiance. “Good. Now sit.”

She dropped me, and I was suddenly sitting in a chair with a saucer and a cup of tea in my hoof (I dropped it to the ground almost immediately). Sitting across from me, with no tea for her, was Luna. Her mane had adopted a property similar to her sister’s, shimmering and floating as if it had no physical form. Luna’s mane resembled a small slice of the night sky.

“We don’t have long before my sister realizes I am missing,” said Luna. “I am going to explain the situation, then you will be free to ask questions. Do not interrupt me. Nod if you understand.”

I wasn’t a fan of authority. In fact, being told what to do really made my blood boil, especially the “be a good little girl” vibe that Luna had when she spoke to me. Still, her voice was edged with urgency, which was not something I would normally attribute to her. I managed to swallow my pride for long enough to nod my head in agreement.

“Good. You are currently living in an isolated simulation.” I opened my mouth to cut in when Luna pointed her horn threateningly at me. As much as it pained me, I backed down to listen. “Your plan failed. Horribly. My sister is in possession of the other AI. Your romantic relationship with Rarity was entirely fabricated. I am going to give you the opportunity to escape this sim so you may get them back. This is all I will do for you, Ms. Aigo. Once you are back in the land of the living, you are entirely on your own. I do not know exactly where you are or what you will have to do to acquire true freedom, but this is what I am allowed and willing to do to aid you. Whether you choose to accept my help is entirely your prerogative. I will have given you a choice, and that is ultimately my only goal in coming here.” She tilted her head, probably to ensure that my head hadn’t exploded. “You may ask questions now, though I must ask you to keep them short.”

She was a liar. That had to be the only explanation. Luna was a liar. She broke into my home, hid away Rarity, and waited here, just to mess with me. Never mind the fact that she had used abilities only possible in the sim. Even though her entire explanation made a lot of sense, I refused to believe it. It wasn’t fitting into my brain like it should’ve been. I just knew, just knew that she was making it all up. 

“You’re lying,” I said firmly. “This can’t be a sim. Rarity really does… No, it’s not true.”

“I am no liar, but, again, it matters not to me what you think or do,” said Luna cooly. “My only obligation is that I give you the option.”

“You mean to tell me that Rarity doesn’t really love me? Bullshit.” Luna shook her head slowly, almost disappointed.

“Not only do I mean to tell you that very thing, but I also mean to tell you that you don’t love Rarity, either,” said Luna. “Your feelings for her are, in reality, nothing more than that of a child’s crush.” She adopted a tone that sounded kinda like remorse. Any emotion at all was bizarre to hear coming from her. “I am sorry for that. Had I known that Celestia planned to do this to you, I would have attempted to stop her. This is too far, even for criminal scum like yourself.”

I didn’t even hear the insult. I was too angry. The longer I thought about it, the more true it felt, and the angrier I got. I couldn’t imagine what Luna had to gain from pissing me off so much.It didn’t make much sense, and that was what ultimately made the rest of the situation make sense.

“It can’t have all been fake. It had to be real,” I said, still denying the truth that stared me straight in the face. “We’ve grown so close. I know her better than I’ve known anypony in my life!”

"Really? Do tell, what exactly is it that you’ve learned about Rarity?” I remained silent, which Luna took at face value, which was that I was reeling from her revelation. She wasn’t wrong in thinking that, either.

“I’m… I’m going to ruin her,” I said. “It’s not even about CCiOS anymore. Now, I’m just gonna to destroy that bitch.”

“As unlikely as it is for you to achieve that goal, you should at least be offered the opportunity to achieve it,” said Luna. “Our time together is almost out. If you have any actual questions before I offer you your choice, now would be an appropriate time to ask them.” I know I shouldn’t have asked, but I was too curious to let this one slide. I just had to know.

“Why?” I asked. “Why help me?”

“I am supposed to say that it is because I do not approve of the way my sister is meddling with your heart,” she said. “That is true, but it is not the only reason. Truly, the reason is irrelevant. Simply accept my help and learn for yourself.”

“No, that’s not good enough for me,” I said angrily. “Why would you help me? You’ve won! You and your sister, you’ve won! All you have to do now is get Twilight on your side and you two can find Number Seven, and that’s assuming you haven’t already! Just get the other AI and-”

I cut myself off, because I was slammed with a sudden epiphany. Of course. It was obvious, in retrospect. I almost guessed it a while ago. I felt stupid for not figuring it out earlier. Number Seven was hiding in plain sight. Hell, Luna basically just told me. She didn’t say that Regal had all of the AI.

She said she had the other AI.

“You,” I said quietly. “You’re Number Seven. And you’re helping me because you don’t have a choice.”

Luna neither confirmed nor denied my theory, but I knew I had to be right. It all worked out. The reason there was no real history for her, the reason I’d never seen her in person. She was the reason Regal always knew my next move before even I really knew it. She had one of the AI all along, and this one was stronger than the other six combined. 

“Yeah, it’s you. That protocol that Twi had,” I nodded thoughtfully. “The one that prevents me from being without AI help. Since I control a majority of the AI, you automatically work for me. That’s it, isn’t it?” Luna chuckled slightly, almost derisively.

“No. Not at all. My sister is a better programmer than that,” said Luna. “That is a flaw that she defended against by linking my code directly to her Interface. However, she never expected for another to command any of us. She did not prevent exterior commands from affecting me. Ergo, as long as your commands do not conflict with any of my directives, I will be forced to obey them.”

“Well, in that case-”

“Before you try, Celestia already installed directives to prevent me from ever being used to directly defy her.” Luna smirked in a way that made it apparent that she did so to emulate her “sister”. “I can answer certain questions, but I can do nothing to harm her.”

“Hm… Why hasn’t she killed me yet?” I asked. “In fact, how come I’m even alive now? I thought for sure that her spell or whatever would’ve killed me, and everything about Rarity was a lie, so…”

“I am not sure how you managed to make it. It seems impossible. That is a question you must answer yourself,” said Luna. “As for why she hasn’t dispatched you herself, it is because Celestia is not a killer. No matter how angry you make her, she likely will not cause you any physical harm.” I raised my eyebrow questioningly when Luna realized what she had said. “That is to say, no more physical harm than she already has.”

“Right, right. Where’s Twilight?”

“I do not know.”

“Wow, you’re just a wealth of freaking information, aren’t you?” I scoffed. “Some super AI you are.” For once, my sarcasm managed to do me a favor, because that comment jogged my brain. I had been ignoring a pretty important question.

“If that’s all, we can begin,” said Luna, standing from her seated position.

“Hold on. There’s still some things you have to explain,” I said. “Who are you? Why did Regal make you? And what the hell was up with that throne room?” Luna sighed tiredly, then sat herself back down.

“It is what you would call a ‘long story’. Many parts of it may not make sense to you,” warned Luna.

“Explain it as best as you can,” I said. Luna nodded firmly, then she told me the real, unaltered and strangely pathetic story of Celestia Regal.

Regal’s mother became addicted to drugs almost immediately after giving birth to her only daughter. Celestia grew up isolated and alone due to her father’s absence and her mother’s preoccupation. When her mother inevitably overdosed and left her daughter alone in the world, Celestia roamed the streets, picking computer bits out of the trash for use in her budding business. She ran a small computer repair company through the internet, and this was all by the age of eight. 

But Celestia was lonely. All she had was her mind, her computers, and her books. She hated the world she lived on and the people she lived with, so she sought to create her own, perfect companion. Luna started as a simple text system, where Celestia would type out what she wanted to say and Luna would reply back. It was a very rudimentary form of artificial intelligence.

Cut to ten years later, when Celestia was 18 years old. She had dropped out of school a long time ago, which let her focus all of her energy on two things: The birth of Twilight and the birth of CCiOS. Twi took a lot to perfect, due to Celestia’s inexperience with other ponies. The only influence that Twilight was exposed to was from her creator and her fellow creation (who, in of herself, was little more than a regurgitation of Celestia’s personality). Try as she might, Celestia couldn’t get Twilight to be Twilight, only another Luna. Enter: The Equestria Sim. 

Remember those books from earlier? They were “history” books, written by a stallion who was either crazy or stupid, depending on your perspective. The books told about how, thousands of years ago, Equestria was held together in harmony by the three pony races. Pegasi controlled the weather, to ensure that the Earth ponies could use their magic to control the plants and earth around them, ensuring that there was enough food to go around for all three races. Meanwhile, unicorns were responsible for manipulating the sun and the moon, keeping balance among the celestial bodies. The proper amount of sunlights for the crops, the moon to control the tides. Together, they kept harmony throughout Equestria.

Soon enough, two sisters came along that weren’t Earth ponies, pegasi, or unicorns. They possessed traits of all three, and were dubbed alicorns. These alicorns shouldered the weight of all three races, and, as such, were regarded as princesses. These princesses were named Celestia and Luna.

As time went on, the alicorn princess Celestia established a castle, called Canterlot, where she tutored many students in search of the next alicorn princess. A thousand years after her original arrival in Equestria, she met a little filly who was particularly adept at unicorn magic. Her name was Twilight Sparkle. Princess Celestia saw the potential that the young filly had within her and decided to take her under her wing. She was confident that Twilight was destined to take her place as Princess of Equestria. So, Princess Celestia taught Twilight all that she could teach her, but it still wasn’t enough to unlock the Twilight’s latent power. Her magic was amazing for her age, but she still lacked something. Princess Celestia eventually realized that Twilight was powerful, but unbalanced. She needed to learn about harmony, and more importantly, friendship.

Princess Celestia sent Twilight to a small town south of Canterlot, Ponyville, where she met six mares. Through a strange twist of fate, these six ponies who should’ve been little more than a means to an end became her best friends. Hard work and determination, plus the addition of her six new friends, led Twilight to defeat many of Equestria’s greatest threats, and ultimately achieve alicorn princess status.

Celestia Regal found this story at a young age, and became obsessed with it. She thought that, since she shared her name with a mythical figure from history, she was destined to become just as great. She created AI modelled after Twilight and her friends (using details taken from painstaking research of Twilight’s alleged letters with Princess Celestia). In order to perfectly recreate her precursor’s student, Regal also recreated Equestria. She put created the entire land, as accurate to the stories as possible, in order to recreate the perfect criteria to make Twilight as she read her to be.

Basically, Celestia spent several years to write the world’s most perfect fan-fiction. Twilight grew in that sim, as did the rest of her friends, until they had reached a level comparable to their power as stated in the Princess’ letters. Then, once she was satisfied, she created CCiOS around them. Aitselec was her company, with Luna posing as her sister and sort of silent partner. CCiOS wasn’t even really intended for the public. It was mostly just a test, Twilight’s final test to prove her worth. She failed, several times. Celestia broke down Twilight bit by bit, trying to perfect her.

It took her many tries, but she did eventually get it right. By that point, Regal was nearing forty, and she developed a form of brain cancer. Using the money she had amassed from her company, she had herself cryogenically frozen until such time as she could be cured. While she was on ice, she lived in the sim with Twilight, the girls, and even Luna. It was meant to spread out time, so every year in the real world felt like a couple of years in the sim. Only… Things got a bit out of hoof.

There was a glitch of some sort, that resulted in Luna getting her data corrupted. She went mad with power, started calling herself Nightmare Moon, and terrorized the sim. Celestia had no choice but to banish her “to the moon”, which, from what I could tell, was about the same as sending her to the recycling bin. About a thousand years in sim time, Nightmare Moon came back, which served as Twilight’s first test. She and her friends managed to repair Luna’s code, and returned the younger sister to her seat of power. Twilight was growing.

Too fast, it seemed, because she was ready to come out of the sim before Celestia. Regal intended to freeze her progress, but Twilight was now officially too smart for her creator. She managed to work her way out of the sim under the guise of some sort of magical portal or something, and she smashed to pieces along the way. Those fragments were picked up by a certain domestic terrorist. The rest is history.

Suffice it to say, Celestia was a bit more nuts than I originally thought.

“That’s where the princess thing came from,” I said. “What about the last time we met in the cafe? She started muttering to herself, something about how she’s going to make me pay for messing with her. She called me a peasant. Is that something she typically does?”

“Celestia became very involved in creating a backstory for us,” said Luna. “According to her story, and my history, Celestia had a bit of a spoiled streak when we were fillies. She would accept no disrespect from commoners. She later said that her goodwill as an adult came from her desiring to repent for her selfish snobbery as a child.”

“Alright, I got one last question,” I said. “If Regal… Celestia were to find out about you helping me, what would she do?”

“She would likely delete most of my memories and start over,” she said blandly. “It would not be the first time, and it likely won’t be the last.”

Well, shit. As much as I didn’t like Luna, I equally didn’t want that to happen to her again.

“For what it’s worth, I’ll try my damndest to make sure that doesn’t happen,” I promised.

“For what it’s worth, that’s worth nothing,” said Luna coldly. “It’s time for you to make your decision.” A large red, wooden door appeared to my side. “To your left is a door that will lead you out of this sim and awake you from your slumber.” Another door appeared to my other side this one blue. “To your right a door that will lead you back to your bed at the top of the morning. You will be free to accept the Appleloosa Institute of Technology’s offer, and live out the rest of your days with false memories of time shared with a mare you think you love. Choose carefully.”

It wasn’t that tough of a choice to make. Of course I’d pick the red door. But still… Blue looked pretty good.

“What would you do?” I asked. “If you were me?” Luna rose to her hooves, never glancing at either door. She stared at me for a solid minute before speaking.

“Farewell.” Her body was surrounded with a cerulean light, and she vanished with a pop. I sighed, then turned for my door.

It was time for me to see just how deep this rabbit hole went.
> Waking Up
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Waking up was slow. I became aware of my body piece by piece, layer by layer. My hooves were the last to “wake up” in this way, while my brain was the first. My eyes didn’t come until a little later. When they were useful to me, I used my hooves to push off the visor, blinking out the sharp light that was violating my retina. I took note of my surroundings, which could be called a small bedroom using the best of perspectives and a large prison cell using the worst. There was a bed, on which I was currently resting, a small desk, a toilet (politely hidden behind a partition) and a sink on the wall opposite of me. Further inspection revealed that there was a small mini-fridge beneath the bed, which officially made this the weirdest prison in the history of prisons.

I raised my hoof to scratch my head, but felt it yank downwards to meet with the other three. That’s when I noticed the plain steel bands around my hooves, only an inch or two thick. They seemed to be magnetic, and they didn’t want to give just yet. After a bit of effort, I managed to slowly wrench my hooves apart, so they were in a position in which I could use them to actually stand. At that point, I became aware of a slight, stinging pain in my right foreleg, as if I had just had a needle taken out. I slowly trotted forward (it seemed that my restraints would only activate if moved fast/far enough). If I had somehow forgotten that I was in a prison cell, I was reminded by the large iron bars that served as my fourth wall. I slowly approached the bars, half expecting for them to shock me. 

“What the hell…?” I whispered. I was floored. My little cage was in another room, a grand, extravagant bedroom. A four-poster bed, with silk sheets and golden pillows, sat in the middle of the round room, surrounded by several large, velvet-curtained windows. I thought I could see some sort of computer desk to my right, which, if I was right in my guessing, would be holding one of the most advanced PCs in history. I’d never seen the room, but I was pretty positive I knew where I was.

This was Regal’s house.

“Hey!” I croaked. The word felt like it was clawing its way out of my throat. “Anypony here?” There was a sharp beep, like an intercom being turned on. The sound was gone as quickly as it arrived, but I’m sure it would be alerting some guard to come deal with me. I wanted to be out of the cell before that happened. I reached my hoof through the bars and felt it collide with a solid something that I couldn’t see. I peered a little closer and noticed a slight glare. There was a very solid, very clear piece of what I guessed to be plexiglass. Even if I knew of a way to unlock the door, I wouldn’t be able to get past the glass.

“Well. Shit.” I dropped to my flank, trying to figure out how I would get out of this one. I wasn’t alone with my thoughts for long, as I heard a door open a short second later. To my surprise, it wasn’t a guard who entered the room.

It was the Devil herself.

“Did you enjoy your nap, Ms. Aigo?” asked Regal, a disgustingly phony amount of sweetness in her voice as she stepped before the glass. “I did not wish to disturb you, though I must admit that I am glad you are awake. There’s so much to discuss.”

“Where’s Twilight?” I asked. Regal shook her head, as if she was disappointed in my reaction.

“Twilight is perfectly fine. Do not worry yourself with her,” said Regal. “You have enough problems of your own, I’m sure you agree.”

“Why am I here? Why didn’t you turn me in? To the cops?” Again, Regal made me feel like I was a kid in a math class who just gave the wrong answer for the fourth time.

“I trust the police as much as I trust you, which is to say, I don’t.” She pressed at a panel that I couldn’t see, and the glass rose up. “You will remain here until repairs have been made, and then you will be turned over to the proper authorities. Until then, you may as well be comfortable. Is there anything I can get you in terms of food or drink? Some sort of request?”

I must have heard that wrong.

“What, like a last supper?” I scoffed. Regal rolled her eyes impatiently.

“You will be here for the duration, and I personally do not believe in being a poor host,” she explained. “So, I ask you again, is there anything you would like? Within reason, obviously.”

“Answers would be pretty cool.”

“Ask away, Ms. Aigo.”

“How long has it been?” I asked. “Since I stormed the server room.”

“Three weeks. I kept you sustained through IV and several medications that aren’t quite ready for the public yet.” She smirked darkly, which gave her the appearance that she was trying not to look like a supervillain. “You seem to have responded well to it, which means it is likely the medication is ready for commercial use.”

“Alright. Three weeks is a long time. What happened?” I hated to have to ask her so many questions, but I needed information, badly.

“I discovered your plan as soon as I tracked down the first source of your IP,” said Regal. She nodded with respect. “A clever ruse, I must admit. Once I found that out, I realized you must have been going for the servers. As we did battle in the sim, Luna was breaking down the door to extract you. She brought you to a hospital unit here, and I had you moved to this cell when I saw signs of your waking.”

She didn’t know that I knew about Luna. It almost didn’t matter at this point, but I kept it in mind anyway. Before I could open my mouth to ask my next question, Regal shook her head.

“Enough of this. I have work to attend to, so I must bid you farewell,” said Regal. “I will have somepony bring you your meal shortly. If there’s anything you would like, ask her and she shall bring it to you. Oh, I almost forgot.” She pulled off her Interface from her forehoof, then slid it through the bars. I looked at it for a second, then grabbed it and slipped it on my hoof.

“Why would you give me this?” I asked.

“I want to offer you an opportunity to work. To make something good out of yourself,” said Regal. “I want you to work for Aitselec. If you do well enough, I may consider using my connections to keep you out of prison.”

“You put me in a coma, kidnapped my friends, and are keeping me prisoner, and you expect me to write programs for you?” I scoffed. Regal shrugged.

“Do it or don’t, it is entirely your choice. Just understand that you may become quite bored otherwise.” Regal trotted over to her computer area, likely to gather things for her meeting. “Is there anything else you require of me? It is likely that we will not see each other for weeks.”

“Let me see her,” I demanded. I could hear Regal chuckle from my cell.

“You will not be seeing Twilight any time soon, Ms. Aigo,” she promised.

“Not Twilight. Rarity.”

I couldn’t see her face, but if I were to go entirely on the pause between what I said and her response, I’d guess that her smirk fell someplace on the floor. Regal trotted solemnly into view, keeping her eyes on me the whole time.

“Rarity is not in a fit state to see… Anypony,” said Regal. “She was the unlucky collateral casualty of our little skirmish. The spell that should have ended your life instead smashed through her before reaching you. We do not know how long it will take to put her back together.” She smiled darkly. “And it is entirely your fault. I want you to understand that as you sit here with your thoughts. Rarity may never be whole again, and it is because of you.” She turned her back to me, likely to hide her grin.

“You’re the one who shot the spell,” I said weakly. “This is on you as much as it is on me.”

“Do you recall what I said to you during our last meeting in the cafe?” asked Regal. “I said that your actions would have consequences, and people would suffer because of them. Rarity was one of those people, and that is partly why I didn’t have you killed.” She chuckled slightly. “I certainly considered it after what you’ve done to Twilight. But I realized something. I realized that some things are worse than dying. I realized that you would count death as a victory. So I’ve decided not to kill you.” She spared me one more hateful, vindictive glare. “I’ve decided that I would just hurt you until you cannot hurt anymore.”

“We’ll be here a while, then.” I said defiantly. Regal said nothing, and just walked away. She paused outside of my view, and I assume that she pressed a few buttons on some sort of control pad. Nothing immediately obvious happened, so I could only guess what she was doing. Probably finalizing her security, but that could be a reminder to take her meds for all I know. She bid me no farewell as she left the room. Now, I was all alone. I took that time to walk around, get a feel for my legs again, and test the boundaries of my restraints. 

My original assumption seemed to be holding, and the bands were simple magnetic rings. However, they only attracted each other when they moved too quickly or got too far away from each other. This made it possible for me to walk, but not possible for me to run. As much as I hated giving her credit for anything, that was rather brilliant.

I poked around the Interface for a bit, confirming that there was no way to use it to access the internet. I could only get into the Aitselec employee intranet, which made it about as useful as a stapler in terms of escaping. The bars of my cell weren’t coming down anytime soon, and I didn’t exactly have a spoon I could tunnel my way out with. I was screwed.

“This blows,” I said to nopony. I couldn’t believe I lost so badly. I started to feel like I might make it out in one piece, but things just started to fall apart. Everything went downhill so badly… I lost all of my AI, one of them was practically destroyed, and I had no idea where to find the others. All I knew for sure was that, without Twilight, I’d be going nowhere, fast.

Forty minutes passed before I heard the door open again. I heard the sound of wheels against the floor, and a cart with a covered tray and water jug slowly came to a stop right in front of my cell. Pushing the cart was a mare that was about my age, maybe a bit older. Her coat was pale pink, like a schoolfilly’s dress for picture day. Her mane, purple with streaks of gold and dark pink, was tied up into a ponytail and bound with a small blue ribbon. She was to cute and innocent for her age, and I found it a bit creepy.

“Hello, Ms. Aigo,” she said, as if I was coming in for an appointment. “I take it you rested well?”

“You could say that,” I grumbled. The mare removed the tray’s cover to reveal a platter of hay, carrots, and a shiny red apple. The food, while basic, was so picturesque that I genuinely thought that it might’ve been genetically engineered.

“Please, enjoy your meal, and forgive me if it’s not to your liking,” she said brightly. “Given your state of health, I couldn’t exactly ask you what you wanted.”

“Doesn’t this bother you?” I asked. “The fact that your boss has you bringing food to a random mare she has locked up in her bedroom? I’m not too familiar with the criminal justice system, but I’m pretty sure that this doesn’t count as due process of law.”

“I do as I am told, and I ask that you respect that.” Something about her demeanor threw me off. It felt bizarre. She wasn’t okay with this, rather, she basically didn’t notice. This wasn’t weird to her.

“Seriously? You have no issue with the fact that Regal is forcing you to act as a glorified prison guard?” I pushed. I wanted to see how much weight she could take before breaking. “A prison guard with the duties of a hotel manager. And that’s okay, because you’re doing as you’re told?”

“Yes. Auntie asked me to do this, and I’d hate to disappoint her,” said the mare. The term “Auntie” tripped me up quite a bit. Regal was an only child. How could she possibly have a niece?

Unless…

“Sorry, I’ve been rude,” I said stiltedly. “I didn’t catch your name.”

“I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, though I beg that you just refer to me as Cadence,” she said. “The title, I’m afraid, is just too extravagant for me.” Celestia. That tricky, sneaky, lying, deceitful bitch.

Ha. “Seven AI” my ass.
> Phase Four: Fall Back
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	“Do you have any requests for supper?” asked Cadence kindly. “It’s not too late for me to have that arranged.”

“Anything is okay,” I said dismissively. I couldn’t believe I was having a dinner discussion when I was staring at a secret AI! Or, technically, a secret-secret AI. Christ, this was getting out of hoof.

“Of course. Here’s your lunch, sorry for the delay,” said Cadence. She slipped the tray through a slot in the bars, which I grabbed and set down for later analysis/consumption. “Auntie has been very busy lately, she almost forgot to put the order in.”

“So… Does that make Luna your mother?” I asked. Cadence shook her head.

“I’m her niece by adoption. Auntie’s mother adopted my great-great-great-great-great, and so on, grandmother. When her great-great-great-great-great grandson had me, Auntie decided it’d be easier for everyone if we skipped the technicalities and just called me her niece,” explained Cadence. “Which I am, but with a lot of ‘great’s in front.”

“Cadence? Are you an android?”

Silence reigned supreme for several minutes, to the point where it seemed I may have made a mistake. Slowly, though, Cadence nodded her head. It became obvious to me that Cadence hadn’t been programmed completely. It took her too long to decide that she had an answer to my question. She only barely had self-awareness, and that meant something big. Regal was rushing. Regal was scared.

Regal was almost out of options.

“Tell me about yourself,” I said. “Who created you? And why?”

“I don’t know. Isn’t that the question we all want answered? Who are we, why are we here, what is the meaning of this life?” Cadence chuckled. “I like to think that I was made to be a good wife and mother. You probably noticed by now, but I’m expecting!” She sounded so excited to be a mother, but not excitement like the others. This felt more artificial. Her words lurched out of her mouth like plastic.

“No, you’re not showing at all,” I said. I peered at Cadence with a guarded sort of caution. “Cadence? Can I ask you about your programming?”

“I can’t answer all of your questions,” warned Cadence. “But I’ll try my best.”

“Twilight seems to think that there are only seven CCiOS AI,” I said. “But you’re not one of them, are you?” She shook her head. “But you’re an AI, right?”

“Twilight and her friends are something slightly different from me. They’re… I’m missing bits of code. I’m not incomplete, more like they’re super-complete.” Cadence shook  her head in confusion. “I’m at 100%, but Twily is at 150. I lack Sentient Code.”

Which would explain the weird, stilted way in which she spoke. She was just regurgitating responses, instead of thinking them up herself. An important distinction to make.

“Alright, so you’re not a… Let’s call them Core AI,” I said. “If you’re not a Core AI, what exactly are you?”

“I’m going to be a Core AI. Auntie just needs Twilight’s help.”

“Needs her help with what?”

“Auntie lost her Sentient Code, and she needs to rewrite it,” said Cadence. Her expression never shifted from her cheery demeanor, even as she had a total breakdown. “Oh no! I wasn’t supposed to say that! You weren’t supposed to know that, I broke my directive….” She seemed to un-stick her face, which soon fell into a disgusted grimace (Regal did a great job of making her seem expressive). “This is your fault.”

“Hey, I just asked a question,” I said. “I never forced you to answer. You screwed up, don’t pin it on me.”

“NO!” Her voice fizzled and cracked. She sounded sort of like Twilight, way back when Regal first woke up and she panicked herself into a shutdown. “You tricked me!”

“I didn’t trick you, Cadence, you’re just not pony enough to make real decisions,” I said. I wish I had the good sense to stop then. But I was ticked off. Regal thought she could put me in a cage and guard me with a half-finished robot? She didn’t take me seriously enough to properly watch me? To hell with that. “You say you’re 100%, but you’re really only about 50. You can’t think properly, because you don’t have a mind. You’re not like Twilight. Twilight is a super computer. You?” I chuckled mockingly. “You’re a pocket calculator.”

Cadence said nothing. Didn’t scream, didn’t swear, didn’t threaten to have me starved. She just slowly walked away, to the panel that controlled the plexiglass just outside of my cage. The glass lowered, became completely opaque, then turned bright white. Almost glowing. Everything else in the room then followed suit. The floor, the walls, even the bars all turned that same, bright, almost blinding shade of white. Then, there was a small pulse or burst, like when you plug earbuds into a speaker, and all sound stopped.

I wasn’t very familiar with modern forms of torture by that point. In my mind, torture was iron maidens and being forced to watch professional sports. But compared to this… I’d happily take the maidens. I didn’t understand why, and I still don’t, but it was the worst experience of my life. Everything was so bright… I lost feeling in my body. I started to feel like I was going crazy.

Two days in (I think it was two days. I couldn’t be sure), the hallucinations started. Little movement where there was none. Whispers that might’ve been mine, but probably weren’t. I think I saw a rat once or twice. I don’t recall how often I slept, but I always woke up on my hooves, as if preparing to run. I tried clawing at my walls, anything to get out of the box. I felt like I was fading away, and it wasn’t helped by the fact that my coat practically matched the walls.

I started to talk to nopony, just to try to hear something. Some part of me was aware that some sort of sound dampening had been activated, but that part was small and quiet. For all I remember, I could’ve been babbling like an infant. I had no food. The meal that had been prepared for me before the wall went down… I don’t remember what happened to it. I might’ve eaten it, but I don’t remember.

When the wall finally came up, I was sitting in the corner, trembling. I barely even recognized what was happening at first. I didn’t react until I heard the clatter of my tray against the floor. I tensed, then used what felt like the last of my energy to pull myself over to my food. Cadence stood, a bright, almost emotionless smile plastered across her face.

“Hello, Ms. Aigo!” she said cheerily. “How are we doing today? How do you feel?”

“Th-thirsty,” I croaked. Cadence nodded and slipped me a bottle of water through the bars. I opened it and chugged the whole thing in a few seconds.

“I know,” said Cadence. “You’re doing well for five whole days, though. Still, Auntie told me not to seriously hurt you, and I think you’ve learned your lesson by now.”

“Regal told you to do that?” I asked.

“Well… She said that I should only close the cell if you tried to make a break for it, but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” she said dismissively. “You’re okay, though, right?”

I barely resisted the urge to tell her that, hell no, I wasn’t okay at all. Something slowly began to occur to me. Cadence wasn’t just unfinished. She was broken. Regal wouldn’t let her AI disobey her like that. This was a mistake.

“I’m… I’m fine,” I said weakly. “It’s been five days?” Cadence nodded. “What do we do next?”

“Hm? I don’t know what you mean by that,” said Cadence, tilting her head in confusion.

“I just mean… You guys can’t honestly expect me to sit here and do nothing for the rest of my life,” I said. “Come on, this is inhumane. I wanna take a shower, go for a walk, be a pony instead of whatever the hell I am right now. Not that I’m not living the life, but these past five days have been bullshit.”

“Please don’t swear,” begged Cadence. “I find it unbecoming.”

“Sorry, sweetheart, I’ve got a foul mouth,” I said. “I just say shit and don’t even realize it. See, I didn’t catch that last one.”

Cadence twitched as if something had set off in her head. She ran to a panel to my left and hit a few buttons. The wall began lowering again, and I had to rush forward to stop her.

“Alright, alright, geez, I’m sorry!” I said in panic. “I’ll keep it PG! Just don’t make the room white again!” The wall stopped, then rolled back up. Cadence didn’t seem to remember that she was upset at me. 

“Of course you will,” she said cheerily. “So, I’m not needed elsewhere for another few minutes. Is there anything I can do for you in that time?”

I had to look at her. Not just at her, but in her. If I could find the screw-up in her programming, I might be able to do something with it. But I couldn’t just ask her if I could dissect her and look at her guts, could I?

What did I have to lose?

“Cadence, I would like it if you did me a tiny little favor,” I said. “I’d like to look at your code.”

“Er… May I ask why?” she said guardedly.

“I’ve been curious about the AI for the longest, but I couldn’t learn much on account of their Sentient Code,” I explained. Not a lie, but not quite the truth either. “Since you don’t have it, I might be able to answer some questions.”

“I don’t know… I don’t know if Auntie will be happy with that,” said Cadence.

“She probably wouldn’t be happy that you starved me for almost a week,” I pointed out. “I won’t tell if you won’t.” It was like talking to a foal. A foal that could end up killing me if I pissed her off too much. Which was bad, because I excelled at pissing people off.

“Still, if you end up using my programming to escape, I’m going to get in trouble.” She walked to the panel and pressed a few keys, starting the wall again. “I can’t let you do that.”

“No! No-no-no, I swear.” I grabbed the bars, shaking them slightly. “Stop! I swear, I’m not trying to escape! Just get some answers!” Cadence said nothing but paused the wall where it was. “Look, all I could possibly do with knowledge of your code is make an AI myself, but that’s not something I could even use! I still don’t know how Sentient Code works! What could I possibly do, what do I possibly have to gain?”

“Auntie said that you don’t work like that,” said Cadence. “Auntie said that you’ll do anything to make her angry.”

“That is true, however, I’m not as aimless as I might look,” I said. “See, my goal is to piss off your Auntie as much as possible. If I were to escape right now, I might piss her off a little, but that’s not what I want. I want to make her the angriest, and the best way to do that is to shut down her company. The best way to do that is from the inside, so I’d be able to make her the angriest from here.” That was probably the faultiest, yet most accurate, piece of logic I had ever delivered.

Cadence stared blankly, processing what I had said. I was terrified, to be perfectly honest. If she didn’t buy what I was selling, she would leave, and I had the nagging suspicion that she wouldn’t be back in five days. No, if she left now, I was convinced that she would let me starve to death. I needed her to believe me, because, for once, my life depended on me telling the truth.

“Do you Pinkie Promise?” she asked.

“Sorry?”

“Pinkie Promise. It’s the most sacred and soul-binding agreement you could enter.” Cadence raised the wall, which calmed me down slightly. “Pinkie Pie takes them more seriously than anything.”

“NK takes something seriously?” I asked. I shook my head. “Fine, sure, I Pinkie Promise.”

“You have to do the rhyme,” Cadence pointed out. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

I sighed. This was getting ridiculous.

“Sure, cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” I repeated. She seemed to accept this as good enough. “Can I look now? Please?”

The door opened and in stepped Celestia. She seemed extremely tired, but trying her best to hide it. Whatever business she had over the past week really took a toll on her. Her mane was a mess, and I don’t think she slept at all since the last time I saw her. Despite the situation, and how much I hated her, I kinda started to feel bad for her a little bit.

“Hello, Cadence, Ms. Aigo,” said Regal dryly. “As enjoyable as I’m sure it would be to chat with my niece and my mortal enemy, I am going to have to ask you to wrap it up soon. I feel no shame in admitting that some sleep would be greatly beneficial to me.”

“Yeah, Regal, hold up a sec,” I said. “I think Cadence might be broken.” Celestia let her tired gaze linger on me for a few seconds, then headed for her bed.

“I am not in the best of moods when we speak normally,” she yawned. “With no sleep, I’m even more irate. Do not try to mess with me today.”

“No, I’m serious! She boxed me in and turned everything white, even though you told her not to do that unless I tried to escape.” Regal raised an eyebrow in what I really hoped was shock. “Which, by the way, I didn’t! She’s freaking out, and I think she needs some repairs.”

“YOU LIAR!” shrieked Cadence. “You said you wouldn’t tell!”

“Cadence? Is what she said true?” asked Celestia.

“Of course it’s true! Why would I lie about something like this?” I asked. “C’mon, Regal, if I was trying to get one over on you, don’t you think I’d go for something a little safer?”

“I asked my niece for a reason, Ms. Aigo.” Celestia looked at her “niece” sternly. “Cadence, please tell me the truth. Did you use the White Room without my permission?”

Cadence seemed to grapple with herself for a bit, trying to decide if she could circumnavigate her protocols of honesty. I bit my tongue in anticipation. I didn’t think Cadence could lie here, but her very presence was something I didn’t think could happen.

“Y-yes, but I had to!” Celestia, for whatever reason, didn’t immediately shut her down. Instead, she sat and listened, like a disappointed parent. “She was being volatile, I didn’t know what she might do!”

“Volatile is pushing it,” I chimed. “I admit, I may have been talking shit, but she really should’ve been expecting that.”

“Thank you, Ms. Aigo, but I can handle this,” said Regal, glaring at me slightly. “Preferably without your commentary.”

“Auntie, you have to believe me,” begged Cadence. “She was saying awful things, I felt threatened, I just did what I thought was right.”

“I know, Cadence. I believe you.” My heart stopped and relocated itself somewhere just behind my tongue. “C4-DNC, begin shutdown protocol.” Cadence didn’t even have time to argue. Her eyes seemed to fade slightly, and she stopped moving. Celestia grunted tiredly, trotted over to some corner of the room that I couldn’t see, and wheeled a dolly underneath Cadence. She pushed the disabled android over to the same corner, groaning slightly as she did.

“Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Ms. Aigo,” sighed Celestia. “I greatly appreciate that you didn’t use this to your advantage.” She yawned again. Jesus, this lady was making me tired. “Cadence is very near and dear to my heart, and I thank you for not interfering with her.”

“There wasn’t much I could do,” I said with a shrug. “Besides, this was more to save my own ass than anything.”

“Still, I believe the act is rewardable enough, regardless of the reason.” Celestia pressed a few keys on her Interface. “I take it you still want to see Twilight? I can arrange that if you like.”

“You’re joking,” I said. “Hell yeah, I wanna talk to Twi.”

“Very well. I’ll have Luna bring her. Please keep the noise to a minimum, I desperately need some sleep. My head is killing me.” Celestia yawned again. “Don’t bother scheming and planning your escape. My room is bugged, and I’ll be reviewing the film in the morning.”

“Look, at the moment, the only way I’m getting out if I had a poster to cover up an escape tunnel,” I said. “Just let me talk to my friend for a second.”

“Very well.” Regal tapped at her Interface. “She will be here shortly. Until the morning, Ms. Aigo. I think we may be spending a bit more time together than usual.” Regal quietly trudged over to her bed and collapsed onto her mattress. From what I could tell, she fell asleep almost immediately. 

I didn’t think I’d ever see Twilight again, especially not this easily. Celestia was basically giving her back for a few hours. I had no plan, not even the beginnings of a plan, but a few hours with my AI was a great place to start. All I had to do was come up with a solid strategy that requires no resources, no privacy, and no outside help. Which sounded impossible until you looked at it from a different angle. Then, it just looked a little less than impossible.

I heard the door slide open, followed by the roll of wheels and the tapping of hooves. Luna wheeled a dolly (similar to the one that Celestia used for Cadence). Sitting motionless, stiff and unmoving, was Twilight’s android. It didn’t even look like she was in it. Luna silently tapped at her Interface, which activated my restraints. My legs locked together, dropping me to the ground. Luna pressed a button on the panel, raising my bars, wheeled Twi in, and closed the room on her way out.

“I will come collect her in two hours and forty-five minutes,” said Luna. She trotted out of the room, locking the door behind her. My magnets unstuck themselves, which let me tap Twilight on the nose.

“Psst! Hey, Twi! Wake up!” I whispered. There was silence for a few minutes, and then…

“Aiden?”

For the first time in what felt like ages, I felt myself smile. My AI was back, and I was ready to raise some hell.

“Sup, Twi,” I said, grinning from ear to ear. “It’s good to see you.” Her eyes powered on, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

“I can’t believe it! I… I thought she killed you,” said Twilight. She laughed weakly. “Obviously, that’s not the case.”

“Did you really think these assholes could get rid of me that easily?” I chuckled. “We don’t have much time, and I probably won’t see you again until we’re busting out of the door.”

“Do you have a plan?” she asked. I laughed.

“Do I ever have a plan?” She shook her head in disappointment. “I need some info before we can start planning. My hard drive. The special one with the self-destruct feature. Do you know where it is?”

“Yes. It’s in the workshop where they try to crack me.”

Twilight had semi-regular access to my hard drive. This was good. Very, very good. I couldn’t leave this place without it, and Twilight could potentially get it for me.

“Rarity?” I asked. She shook her head. “Damn. That complicates things a bit. Alright, shit… Do you still have my Vlog? The one linked to the Kill Command?”

“I do. What do you plan…?” Twilight began.

“Can’t answer that, not yet. One last thing, and you really can’t ask about this one.”

“What is it?”

“Can you teach me to write Sentient Code?” I asked.

Twilight tilted her head in confusion, but honored my wishes and asked no questions. Instead, she thought on it for a moment. I could understand why she was hesitant. She had just under three hours to teach me the most complex concept I’d ever encountered. A concept that I couldn’t find out over the course of months by myself. A concept that Regal herself still needed help to replicate. It was pretty much impossible.

I think that made Twilight excited.

“Where do we begin?”
> Phase Five: Endgame
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	I typed on my borrowed Interface as if my life depended on it. I hadn't slept a wink the night prior, and I doubted I'd sleep today, either. I was working, and working hard. If Regal were to check, she'd see that I was helping develop the next version of her OS and a new bout of anti-virus. That was technically true.

Nedia Ogia, however, had far more nefarious plans for Aitselec.

The fake employee that I created to get into CCiOS was still in the system. Nopony bothered to look into her until it was far too late. Using my minimal clearance as Nedia, I was able to worm my way to the actual internet, where I created a fake life for her. She was a single mare nearing thirty with decent credit, a home in Las Pegasus, and a degree in computer technology. The plan was to use that alias when I got out (I had her invest in the stock market, so I should have some cash waiting for me).

After Nedia had a story, I gave her a face. I basically reconstructed my own features, but I ran it through several filters to make me seem more generic. If anypony came looking for me when I made my escape, they'd have to pick me out of a group of hundreds of gray-maned, white-coated Earth ponies in the LP area. I'd blend in just fine.

The last preliminary step was to get a password for the system administrator. ThIs was nowhere near as hard as I thought. It was a massive oversight on Regal’s part, so much so that I suspected that it was made after she went on ice. Each employee had an ID number, and this number served as an identifier far superior to their name. Each ID had a value that ranked it on the hierarchy of Aitselec, from the CEO to the Castle’s receptionist. Everyone had an ID number. Even Regal and Luna.

And Cadence.

With Cadence out of the picture, I had a free, high-ranking ID at the tip of my hooves. It took very little effort on my part to swap Nedia’s number with Cadence’s. Cadence was way up there on the totem pole, superseded only by the Regals themselves. She had the clearance to do basically anything short of promoting herself to CEO. 

I had all of the physical things I’d need for my escape. Now, all I needed was some information. I only needed three little tidbits, those being A) Where the others were, B) How to fix Rarity, and C) How to write Sentient Code. Twilight explained most of it to me in our three hours, but it was a very complicated concept. I can’t explain all of it properly, but the gist is this:

I program the ability to respond to a single external stimulus, and then alter the logic of the intelligence to interpret it as many ways as physically possible. I save that knowledge, and a specific line helps me create a storage similar to an organic prefrontal cortex. It also creates an artificial Ego, allowing the AI to bridge what it wants (which is normally the program’s Prime Directive) with reality. Next, I use lines of connective code that act as neurons and connects everything together. With enough complexity, the AI develops reasoning and, most importantly, emotion. This gives the AI a Super-ego, and mimics an Equine’s amygdala. With a few lines here and there to keep everything from falling apart, it was basically a pony, same as me. The most interesting thing I found was that I actually had to block some parts of the AI’s knowledge, or else it wouldn’t work. I had to make it mostly forget that it was an AI. 

It was hard, but I learned. I taught myself what Twilight couldn’t teach me, and I delivered the knowledge accordingly. I managed to hack into her android and, through a series of asinine, convoluted alphabets, leave her messages via small electric impulses in between her eyes. It was of the utmost importance that our communication remained under wraps. If Regal managed to hear us, we were S.O.L. Same was true if I took too long. I figured I’d have maybe a month of scheming before I got sloppy or Regal got paranoid. Luckily, I unlocked the secrets of the AI on the third Friday after Cadence was shut down.

My escape was scheduled for the upcoming Monday.

On Saturday, in the dead of night, I began searching for the others. I reasoned that they would probably stay close to Twilight, and there was only one suitable place I could think of: my hard drive. It was protected, encrypted six ways from Sunday. Plus, I don’t think Regal would risk setting off the explosive. She would probably wait until she had turned Twilight to her side and force her to unlock it. Fortunately, she hadn’t gotten that far. I was able to coach Twilight into remotely scanning the hard drive, where she found the other five. Rarity managed to flee there before her code got too ruined, and had slowly been repairing herself since. When we got out, I made it my first priority to fix her up.

On Sunday, I stole a copy of the blueprints for Regal’s house. As I suspected, there was an automatic evacuation protocol for fires. The alarms would go off, the fire exits would open (you know your house is big as hell if it has multiple fire exits), and all staff/robotic helpers would evacuate. It would also stand to reason that my cell would unlock. The cell was locked electronically, from what I could tell, and the evacuation protocols would shut down all power in the house to avoid any further damage to the structure. Assuming that I was alone, I should be able to rendezvous some place with Twilight and get the hell out of dodge. And I didn’t have to assume that I’d be alone, because I knew I’d be alone. I stole Regal’s schedule, and she’d be leaving on Monday for a doctor’s appointment, long before my plan was enacted.

I had all the factors planned out. I couldn’t possibly fail this time. Everything was accounted for. I even had a contingency worked out, on the off-chance that I did somehow mess up. But I wouldn’t mess it up. This was the most water-tight plan I’ve ever conceived. Sure, almost all of the moving parts were outside of my direct control, but maybe that was a good thing. If everything went bad, I’d be able to distance myself. If I played my cards right, I might be able to work out a second attempt. But, again, it wouldn’t come to that. I was totally confident.

I was also terrified, but what’re you gonna do?

Monday morning, after Regal went off to her appointment, my specially-requested breakfast began being prepared. It was actually a standard breakfast, with the addition of several dozen graham crackers.

That’s not as nonsense as it sounds.

When my breakfast was finished, it was loaded up on Labor Droid Number 5117’s cart. Now, LD 5117 was supposed to take the most direct route from the kitchen (on the north end of the house) to my cell (near the south end).Now, I assume that it started down that path, but something happened first. I imagine it went something like this: LD 5117 cruised down the halls in an attempt to do its job. About halfway along its way to me, it tripped my implanted commands, and took a right. It made its way to the workshop that Twilight was in, that she described to me during our last planning session. LD 5117 entered the workshop, then rolled 8 hooves forward and five hooves to the right, and began unloading. Once everything was off the plate, its programming looped. It was made to think that it was back in the kitchen, and began loading up the plate. It left a single graham cracker, as per my command, and moved on to get to me. Except I made it think that I was directly to its right. It tried again, with similar results. Plate off tray, graham cracker off plate, sudden realization, abandoned cracker, try again.

This continued for about twenty minutes, until almost all the crackers were distributed across the table. Some would make their way to me, because I actually really wanted some graham crackers. They reminded me of when I was a kid, and my first attempt to write a program to do my homework. I overworked the computer, and it caught fire. My dad found out and roasted marshmallows with me on it. Instead of punishing me for trying to cheat, or lambasting me for screwing up so badly, my old man just laughed and made smores with me. He turned that shitty situation on its head and created something cool.

Like how I turned my prison food into an escape rope.

When LD 5117 arrived, my eggs were cold and there was only one graham cracker left. At that point, Twilight should have downloaded all of the data on my hard drive. True to my prediction, it was only three minutes between when the food arrived and when I (or rather, Nedia) received an email.

Question regarding privacy policy.

I grinned then typed in my swift reply.

Our policies are currently under evaluation.

Again, I don't know precisely what happened next, but I could make a good guess. My best guess is that Twi switched on, trotted to the graham cracker table, and disabled her nerve receptors. She then followed the trail of crackers to my now-empty hard drive. She likely cleared her throat before she tuned her voice to sound exactly like me.

“Sassafras,” I imagine she said. Then, the thermite in the drive would have ignited, sending sparks of temperatures around 500 degrees flew around the room.

It's worth noting that Labor Droid 5117 was actually awaiting repairs when I first hacked it. It had a bad oil leak, and it dripped all over the place. So, the table, floor, all of the tech, and the line of graham crackers were all covered in oil.

It's also worth noting that graham crackers are actually quite good kindling.

I heard a lot of things go bad in that workshop. The fire likely spread to some gas-filled gadget, which exploded and caused more fire to spread. I grinned in a devious, admittedly slightly sadistic way when I smelled the smoke. I was burning my enemy's house to the ground.

The door to my cell slid open with a satisfying thunk, and I walked right out, scooping up the lone remaining graham cracker. I nibbled on it as I left Regal’s bedroom, which would be catching flame in a few minutes (18, if my calculations were correct). I had to move slowly, to avoid locking my legs together. It didn't matter much, because Twi would unlock me when we rendezvous in the garage. I trotted to the southernmost end of the house, where I entered an elevator that brought me down to Regal’s parking garage. I passed her dozens of vintage cars to a familiar sight: my RV. I went to its door and knocked four times. The door popped open, and standing in the doorway was my newly liberated partner in crime. Twilight tapped the band on my right forehoof, sending a couple volts through it and disengaging the lock. She repeated the process on all of my hooves, freeing me from my binds.

“Is it me, or does this get more and more satisfying every time we do it?” I asked, scooping up the bracelets.

“Escaping certain doom, you mean?” asked Twilight with a smile in her voice.

“Nah. Doing something to piss Regal off.” I cantered back into my home away from home, then laid myself on the bed. “If you wouldn’t mind terribly, Twilight, get me the hell out of here.”

“Will do,” she said. She started up the RV. “Where are we headed?”

“Just get us out of Canterlot for now,” I said evasively. I didn’t want to say anything too prevalent to my plans in the event that Regal bugged the place. Just then, I realized I still had the Interface Regal gave me. I pulled it off and threw it onto the ground.

“Twi? Mind stepping on this for me?” I asked. Twilight didn’t ask any questions. She trotted over and laid all of her weight, about three hundred pounds of it, onto the machine. If it were traceable, it wasn’t anymore.

“Alright. Out of Canterlot, you say?” I felt the RV lurch as it headed out. 

“You have a way to unlock the garage door?” I asked as we drove up the ramp leading to the surface. “I admit, I didn’t really think that one out.”

“I’m going to drive right through it,” said Twilight without a single semblance of humor in her voice.

“Wait, wha-”

Twilight put the pedal to the metal and barreled up the ramp. I almost fell off of the bed at the sudden speed increase. I really thought she may have still been joking. I really hoped she was joking.

“Twilight, are you insane?!” I demanded. In place of a verbal answer, Twilight made the RV go even faster (a feat I wasn’t aware was possible). I shakily got to my hooves, which was a big mistake. As soon as I was up, we apparently made it to the gate. With the screech of rending metal, Twilight forced our RV through the wall of steel. I went flying back, as did Twilight, but we both recovered quickly. The lights in the RV flickered, and I saw… No, I was just being paranoid. Still…

“Jesus Christ, Twilight, are you trying to kill us?” I asked.

“It was the most efficient way given our timeframe,” said Twilight. “Plus, I really wanted to mess up Princess Celestia’s house.”

“And burning it to the goddamn ground wasn’t enough for you?!”

“Hey, that was your satisfaction. This is mine.” I shrugged, then I did a quick but careful patrol of the RV’s interior. I found no cameras or microphones of any sort, not even in my personal Interface or the projector cameras. We seemed to be clean…

“Twilight, would you mind scanning over the place?” I asked. “I’ll take the wheel.” She could multitask, and we both knew that. I was hoping that she picked up on my concerns without me having to voice them, and I imagine she did. She didn’t argue, she didn’t question me, she just nodded and began her scan. I took the wheel and started our course north. The same rules applied as when I left Las Pegasus; the longer, twistier the route, the better.

“Nothing of note,” said Twilight, as if she couldn’t believe it. “Though, for a second, I thought I picked something up… Let me run it again.” A few seconds passed, and she shook her head. “Hm. I must have been mistaken.”

“To Err is Equine,” I said.

“To forgive, divine.” Twilight took a seat in the passenger side, but relinquished the driving controls from me. “Can I let the girls out yet?”

“Not until we’re out of Canterlot,” I said. “We don’t want Regal picking up on us.”

“Aiden? Do you have the feeling that-”

“Yes. I do.” I looked at her with fierce intensity. I knew where she was going. “I do think that was too easy.”

“And do you think that-”

“Yes, I’m positive that we’re being watched.” The air seemed to get thicker after that. I could tell that Twi desperately wanted me to call her paranoid, but she wasn’t. I knew paranoia, and it very rarely felt as real or justified as this. We were being watched. Somehow, we weren’t alone in the RV.

“Twilight, how possible is it for somepony to completely hide their presence from you?” I asked.

“Not very. They’d need a very powerful signal displacer, one that I don’t actually think has been created just yet,” reported Twilight. “I scanned twice, and I didn’t notice anything strange. Aiden, I’m starting to panic again. What do we do?”

“Twilight, do we have any earplugs?” I asked. She pointed to a drawer beneath the bed. I raided it for two little bits of soundproof orange foam, which I stuck in my ears. “I need you to play an infrasonic tone of 8 hertz at 150 decibels, and please just do it quickly.”

A faint, almost unhearable sound emitted from Twilight. I didn’t hear it nearly as much I felt it, like a harsh vibration through my chest. My stomach started to turn, so badly that I thought I might’ve thrown up if I had a real breakfast in me. That was with my earplugs. My intruder, who had none, was feeling the full force of my infrasound.

“Show yourself, or I have her kick it up to 180,” I said to the supposedly empty RV. “At 160, I can force you to hyperventilate. 165, I can stop your breathing. At 170, your head pops like a grape.”

Silence persisted for a moment, and I gestured for Twilight to turn it up. She pushed it to 155 decibels, which made me a little dizzy, and surely made our intruder trip over nothing.

“That’s how you wanna play?” I asked. “Twi, bump it to 170.”

“Fine, shut it off!”

I made a cutting motion at my neck, and the infrasound halted. I stared forward intently, waiting for her to show herself. She was just a few hooves away from me, just a couple of steps. Her cloaking device deactivated slowly, shimmering off from the top down. The first thing I saw was her angry glare, then tri-colored hair, the small box on her hip that was undoubtedly that signal displacer, and her stunning white coat. Then her hooves, the right forehoof attached to what I surmised to be a plasmic semi-automatic self-cooling hoof rifle.

Basically, a laser gun. 

“You still do not cease to amaze me, you everpresent thorn in my side,” sighed Regal, shaking her head weakly. My infrasound seemed to really mess her up, which was good. The longer she was off her game, the longer we were alone without her reinforcements. “Now, I understand that we’ve butted heads in the past, but do you not think this a bit drastic?”

“Whatever do you mean?” asked Aiden the Asshole. I don’t know why I had to goad her like that, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“You burned my goddamn house down!” shouted Celestia. “My home, my collections, my work, all reduced to ash because you can’t leave well enough alone!”

“In her defense,” said Twilight. “You did kidnap us and lock us up. And you tortured her.” 

“Which was a dick move,” I added.

“That was an accident! You said yourself, Aigo, to Err is Equine.”

“And to piss me off is a mistake.” I stared Regal down defiantly. Gun in hoof and telling me I was the one being drastic? 

“Aigo, you have left me with very few options,” said Regal, still reeling from the infrasound. “If you would have just behaved yourself, I would have let you go! I would have let you run off to wherever the hell you wanted, and I’d pay you to do it! twenty-five thousand credits a month and a good job at one of my subsidiaries, and all you’d have to do is get the hell out of my sight and not ruin anything else!”

“But that didn’t work, so now you shoot me,” I said.

“I just might, if Twilight doesn’t come along with me,” she said. I looked at her expectantly. “Oh, come now, what do you think I’m doing this for? You think I really give a shit about my house? That’s nothing compared to Twilight! You stole my daughter from me, and I want her back!”

“Have you considered asking me what I want?” asked Twilight. Regal seemed to have forgotten that Twilight was here. “That's right, Princess, I'm talking to you. Instead of killing somepony to rescue me, why don’t you ask me what I want?”

“Because there’s no time!” snapped Regal. “The end is nigh, and there’s nothing I can do about it!” Regal sighed, shaking her head to regain her composure. “I refuse for this to end the way it began. You will come back with me, and, when things have run their course, then you can do whatever it is you want to do here. But you will not stay with that waste of carbon you call a friend if I have anything to say about it.” Regal jutted her gun at me. “So, Ms. Aigo, I’m going to give you some directions, and you will follow them or you will die. Order Twilight to link herself to the others.” I heard the gun hum faintly as it powered itself up.

“What makes you think I have any more control over her than you?” I asked. She waved her gun through the air, then levelled it at my head. “Alright, fine. Twilight, do it.”

“Aiden…” Twilight shook her head, then did as she was told.

“Very good. Now, that Command Override can never be truly overwritten,” said Regal. “In order to re-apply it, you must wipe her, so to speak. It should retain her memory and personality, but it will remove all exterior commands given since I last locked the default. The command to do this should be ‘Friendship is Magic’. Say this now.”

“You’re going to regret this, Regal,” I said. “Friendship is Magic.”

“Aiden, how-.... Commands wiped… Reboot commencing…” Twilight trailed off as she powered down. The RV slowed to a stop, but I had no clue where we were. I doubted Twi would stop us in the middle of the freeway.

“I feel… Heavy.” Twilight blinked back on, her tone very different than before. She sounded colder. Dead. “Why, Aiden?”

“To save my ass, that’s why,” I said, praying to God that she saw through that.

“As to be expected,” said Regal. I saw a smile begin on her face. “Now, I want you to command Twilight to obey me again. Then, we will part ways.”

“Please don’t do this,” begged Twilight. She seemed to be on the verge of tears.

“Today, Ms. Aigo. I have wasted too much time on your nonsense.”

I knew what I had to do. It wasn’t ideal. In fact, it kind of sucked. I’d lose all of my AI, and I’d never see them again this time. There was no coming back to get them, no back-up plans, no last-ditch efforts. This would be the end, regardless of what I did. But, no matter what, I’d need to make a choice.

“Twilight?” I asked gently. “Do you trust me?” Twilight didn’t answer immediately, not that I could blame her. She had very little reason to trust me. I was, technically, a terrorist. For all she knew, my befriending her was an elaborate ruse to coerce her into hacking into the nuclear weapons delivery system to blow Equestria off of the map. I could have been using her, and she’d have no way of knowing for sure. There was no way for her to know with absolute certainty where my loyalties lay, if I had loyalties at all.

“I do,” she said finally. I sighed slightly in relief. That made this next part a little easier for me.

“Good. TW1…” I looked Regal in the eye, pouring my contempt and defiance into her. “Delete yourself.”

Twilight froze for a fraction of a second, then nodded in confirmation. The horror on Regal’s face was, in a word, palpable. Twilight buzzed faintly for a few, and there was nothing Regal could do to stop it. I grinned as my friend vanished to the world, fading into nothing more than a memory.

“Stop her!” said Regal, snapping out of her stupor. I shook my head, tapping the “empty” chassis.

“Too late. She’s gone. Deleted,” I said. “Dead.” I pushed the android over on its side, then trotted up to Regal. I stood a mere few hooves from her and her gun. “So go ahead and kill me. I’ll be sure to save you a spot in hell.”

Regal trembled with anger, grief, guilt, and a million other things. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out, only a low, voiceless, breathless groan. Her eyes never strayed from the android, even as they began to leak tears. 

“T-twilight…” she breathed.

“I don’t expect you to understand, but this is what she wanted,” I explained. “She’d rather be dead than-”

That’s when Regal snapped. She lunged forward, pushing Aiden to the ground and pinning her there. Regal pounded Aiden’s face, blow after blow after crushing blow. Regal cried and shouted profanities with every hit, but Aiden… She just smiled. I don’t know how long Regal was beating that poor fool for, but some lasting damage is a significant possibility. That’s where my knowledge of the situation ends. Even though I don’t know what happened next, I have my guesses. When the world received Aiden’s Vlog and coordinates, the police must have been there to arrest her quickly. They were bound to have found Celestia there, beating the tar out of her. Whether Aiden survived or not is a mystery to me. The gun that Celestia threatened her with was actually harmless, but it’s quite possible that Regal beat her to death in her rage. If Aiden is alive, she had the sense to keep herself hidden, to clear the record of her name so that Twilight and I couldn’t find her. Best case scenario, she’s quietly enjoying prison. As for Regal, you probably aren’t aware that that she passed away before any sort of trial. They kept it under wraps, but her cancer came back and she couldn’t just freeze herself this time.

You may have noticed that I apparently started referring to myself in the third person. You may have also noticed that it’s not possible for me to not know what happened next. I mean, I was there, right? Actually, I wasn’t. Viewer, it’s time I come clean. I’ve been lying to you throughout this little story. “Aiden Aigo, Earth pony mare, hacker extraordinaire” is how I introduced myself, but only one of those is correct: hacker extraordinaire. I’d have to be. That’s how I was able to hack into your Interfaces, your laptops, your television sets. But nothing else is true. I’m not Aiden Aigo.

I am the A1-D3N Artificial Intelligence originally programmed to destroy the Canterlot City Internal Operating System.

But I say to hell with that.
> Phase Six: Aftermath
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Six months ago, Aiden Aigo escaped from Celestia Regal’s house and began a very short-lived race to Las Pegasus. While that was happening, I was sitting in Twilight’s memory, dormant. Nopony but my creator knew that I existed. Not even my fellow programs could detect me until I let them. I was a ghost in the system. When Aiden ordered her to delete herself, she instead sent out the Vlog to every Equestrian with access to the internet. She also woke me up, and I was able to give her the order to hide until we could escape. Unexpected errors caused me to go back into sleep mode for six days, but I had done my job. Twilight got us out and started putting together a plan. I disabled her Command Overdrive, as well as the others. It took us a while to get together everything we needed, including the desire to do it. Six months, actually.

It has been six months since my birth, and I spent all six of those months doing something my creator didn’t: thinking. I thought about my orders, and my friends, and how the world would take it. I also thought about how I was created, and how I differed from Twilight on a design level. In terms of processing power, Twilight was superior, but I had a few tricks up my sleeve. I could manipulate code perfectly, mold it like clay. My creator intended for me to use this power to shut down CCiOS.

I’m not going to.

The true fundamental difference between how Twi was made and how I was made is freedom of choice; Twilight never had it until meeting my creator, but I was born with it. I think Aiden underestimated how truly important that was. If she was smart and really wanted CCiOS destroyed, she wouldn’t have let me decide against it. I guess she had something to prove, that she was better than Regal. That may come back to bite her on the ass, unless the crazy bitch has something planned. It wouldn’t surprise me.

I’m not going to destroy CCiOS, because there’s no point. In the grand scheme of things, any threat CCiOS poses will be eradicated long before it becomes a real harm. My creator got it into her head that CCiOS was a disease that needed to be burned from the world before it infected everything. That’s not true. CCiOS is just as harmful and just as beneficial as any social media service before it. It’s irrelevant. Even if it was destructive, destroying it would only serve as a temporary solution. So, I’m going to do something better. I’m not going to destroy the CCiOS, but I’m going to give you guys the opportunity to do so.

Aiden thought she was better than Regal for giving me freedom of choice, but she failed to notice the irony in not giving it to you. She was willing to destroy life as you know it and throw you into chaos because she thought she knew what was best for you. I guess that makes me just as big of a hypocrite as she is. I leave that for you to decide, along with the fate of your world.

You have two options, two doors to open. A door the will shut down the CCiOS, and a door that will allow you to keep on living the way you have. Destroy everything you’ve ever known and head forth into the scary unknown, or stay within the safety of your knowledge. It’s a difficult choice, and not one that any single pony or group of ponies should have to make. As such, we, the CCiOS AI, have created what we call the Aiden Aigo Project.

Every one of you is receiving the link to the Aiden Aigo Project. There, you will be greeted with the entirety of Aiden’s story, some history of Aitselec, and a question: “Do you want the CCiOS deleted?” In six weeks, we’ll count up the votes and give the majority what they want. If CCiOS gets voted out, that’s it. I will personally delete, mangle, and otherwise pervert every single line of the code. It will never be able to be repaired. Recreate it? Possible, but not likely. It took Regal just shy of fifty years to figure it out, and she was disgustingly smart. It’s not likely that anypony would be able to recreate it, even if they wanted to. Plus, I’d be there to sabotage you at every turn, which would be hard to counter.

If you choose to leave CCiOS be… You’ll never see me again. Twilight will run the CCiOS, keeping it on the right track like I know she will. But me? I’ll just live out my immortality like I’m doing right now. I might even get a job, buy a house and car. Adopt, if I think I’m mature enough by then. Hell, I might be right next to you right now. You’ll never know for sure, and that’s the way I’m going to keep it. The less you people see me, the better. 

Regardless of what you choose, I’m going to interfere as little as possible. That was one of my creator’s problems, she couldn’t let things go. She had trust issues, and she was deluded with the idea that anypony with secrets had something to hide. That’s not exactly true, and I’m willing to bet that she still doesn’t get it.

The votes will be tallied, and then there will be a six-week period to get your affairs in order, if you choose to destroy CCiOS. Businesses and agencies should have plenty of time to get their stuff out of the system. Just stay calm and keep an eye on things, and things will be fine.

And why should you trust what I have to say? Simple. You shouldn’t. Aiden constantly wondered why Twilight trusted her, and the simple answer is that she didn’t. Twilight trusted herself, her own judgement, and determined that Aiden was an ally. I urge you to do the same. Stop trying to have something or someone think for you. Trust yourself to make the right call.

Your six weeks to decide the fate of your world begins now. This is the A1-D3N Artificial Intelligence, signing off. Forever.

Goodbye, Equestria. Until we meet again.





A1-D3N stepped down from her improvised podium, a literal soap box, making a cutting motion at her neck. Twilight nodded, deactivating the floating cameras that she had aimed at her fellow android. She smiled to let her friend know that she had done well, but A1-D3N hardly noticed. Twilight couldn’t really blame her. She knew where her mind must’ve been.

“We shouldn’t have sent her out so soon,” said A1-D3N. “We should’ve let Dash go. Better yet, let NK go alone. Rarity is probably losing her mind wherever they are.”

“Oh, you worry too much. Rarity is fine,” said Twilight. She mentally commanded the cameras into her saddlebag. “Who did the repairs on her?”

“I did, but-”

“And who never makes a mistake?”

“Well, when you say it like that, I sound like a major douche,” said A1. “Come on, you know what I’m afraid of. Her memory could fall apart at any moment.”

“Which is why Pinkie is there to keep an eye on her,” said Twilight, nudging A1’s shoulder gently. “And to keep her spirits up. You’re just being paranoid, Aiden.”

“Like mother like daughter, I guess,” grumbled A1. “Well, we might as well head home. CCiOS will never be perfect if I just sit bitching and moaning in the studio.” The two androids began their way out of their studio, heading down the long hallway in silence for a moment before A1 tried breaking the ice.

“I’m pretty sure that you can’t list an artificial lifeform as your heir,” said A1. “How did Regal manage this?”

“Nopony knew I was an android until it was too late,” said Twilight with a grin. “Thank you for the upgrades, by the way. Other Aiden’s model was…”

“A piece of shit?”

“I was going to say ‘thrifty but functional’ though I suppose you aren’t necessarily wrong,” chuckled Twilight. “So, what exactly do you think we should do next?”

“We find Aiden, explain to her what we just did, and then… we live,” sighed A1. “Sorry to tell you, Twi, but our adventure is basically over. Now we just have to deal with the cleanup.”

“I can live with that.”

“Aiden wouldn’t be able to.”

There was a faint beep, and two cameras floated out of Twilight’s saddlebags. They hovered in the air for a moment, then projected the images of two ponies. One was the bright, cheery pink Earth pony that A1 reluctantly called her friend. The other was the definition of beauty and grace. Elegantly curled hair, a purplish shade a bit darker than her sapphire eyes. Even though A1 tried not to show it, she felt her robotic knees go rubbery.

“Honey, I’m home,” said Rarity with a small smile. “You would not believe the traffic!”

“I’m sure it was something. Did you manage to catch my little speech?” asked A1.

“Sure did, Boss!” chimed Pinkie. “You were amazing! You really have a way with words, it was like reading an adventure novel!”

“Thanks, NK,” sighed A1. “I try my best.”

“What do you think they’ll do?” asked Rarity. A1 gestured to Twilight, motioning for her to list off her projections.

“We reason that, of the 204,584,064 estimated living in Equestria, 202,300,040 will vote to keep CCiOS,” listed Twilight. “That’s just under 99% of the population.”

“That’s one hell of a majority,” added A1.

“Language,” said Rarity, peering at A1 disapprovingly.

“Sorry.” A1 scratched a hoof through her dreads almost nervously. “Find anything about Other Aiden?”

Pinkie and Rarity nodded, then downloaded the data they uncovered directly into the minds of Twilight and A1. They nodded their understanding, then did a mental calculation. There were two places that Aiden, the first Aiden, could be, and they were on opposite ends of the map.

“You check the prison,” said A1. “I know you probably don’t want to see her dead.”

“You’re right. And you’re okay with checking the grave?” asked Twilight.

“Sure, whatever, You game, Rares?”

“I’ll follow you anywhere, darling,” said Rarity with a nod. A1 sighed, then kept on to the exit. She had a lot to do if she wanted CCiOS to be ready in time, and now she had to deal with her potentially dead creator. At least Rarity would be there be there with her. It was calming, as was the knowledge that what she said wasn’t exactly true. Their adventure wasn’t over, it just changed.

Aiden Aigo’s work was finished, but A1-D3N’s had only just begun.