Pinkie ponders
Pinkie was having a bad day. She had found herself sitting atop her favourite hill overlooking Ponyville after she had come to one crippling realisation. Her friends weren't real. No, they weren’t real, and neither was this hill, Celestia's sun, Luna's moon or even the cupcake she had this morning! At the time she had thought herself silly, she must have just had a bad cupcake or something! But as her sugar fueled brain churned that simply couldn’t be. How does she know anything existed? At the thought she plucked a stray blade of grass, was it real? She was certainly holding it in her hooves, but how did she know that? Well she was both looking at it and feeling it but what exactly did those mean? Sight and touch were senses and Twilight once told her that was how ponies observed. But what defines an observation? The use of her senses? Why? She discarded the grass, no longer wishing to question it.
So if she couldn’t be sure of anything does that mean that she, the observer, didn't exist? Well she certainly thought so! And with that she paused, her face screwing up in concentration so un-pinkie like she may as well have been Twilight! So if she thought, did that mean she existed!? Of course she did! And that means her friends must exist too! They thought... Right? Or did they? Pinkie couldn’t be sure... When was the last time she ever knew her friends were thinking? According to Twilight you have to use your senses and she wasn’t certain. They often looked like they were thinking but that didn’t mean they actually thought, they had come up with ideas, that’s for sure! But did ideas equal thought? She would have said yes had the Canterlot scientists not developed this thing called a "sweetie-bot". Apparently it could solve problems but not think for itself, she remembered Twilight getting so excited about it...Emotions, she thought. Did emotions define existence? She quickly scrapped the idea, if emotions did, then grass and trees and dirt didn’t exist! Then again, she wasn’t sure if they did in the first place.
She decided it would be easier to just assume they existed for this... What would Twilight call it... experiment! Yes, that was it! Upon such a notion she quickly grabbed another piece of grass. It was time to experiment! Now, if she dropped this piece of grass, would it fall? Things that existed were bound by gravity and as such would fall. Or so she was told, this gravity thing didn’t seem to bother her too much! She dropped the grass and watched intently as it fell. So did grass exist? Well it certainly passed her experiment but what WAS gravity anyways? Some science mumbo jumbo that’s for sure! Besides, she missed an earlier point in her experiment… if gravity existed then there must be an existence!
So what exactly was existence? Pinkie had to stop and think. Clearly it was something for things that existed to exist in! Like a house! So houses were their own little existences? And there were so many houses in her existence. Existences in existence? Existence-ception? The thought made her head spin. She decided that simply couldn't be it. Besides, that would mean that the grass was falling through existence while being in existence! How silly! Pinkie got up and stretched, this was the longest she'd ever sat still since… well… no matter how hard she tried she simply couldn’t remember. Her brain seemed to have been wired for this one tangent and quite frankly it was starting to hurt. At the thought of tangent she immediately thought of tangerines! I mean, they're so orange and! Ohmygosh! They're orange! Orange was Pinkies favourite colour! Aside from pink, purple, yellow, blue, green, red, yellow ... Well, she thought about colours for some time until she remembered that the thought of a tangerine had made her stomach grumble.
She reached into the picnic basket that the author had conveniently forgotten to mention earlier and pulled out a cupcake, it was not just a cupcake this one. It was in fact, pinkies special super mega MMMmm cupcake! No relation to the MMMmm of course! She just liked making that sound. She stared at this feat of modern baking for a moment. Her baking in fact! "Congrats on a good job, Pinkie!" she thought to herself.
"why thank you Pinkie 2! It’s my pleasure! Now shall we eat this thing already?"
"Why, yes, Pinkie 1 that sounds splendid just let me move your arm for you."
"Oh my Pinkie 2! How generous. I'll just open your mouth so we don’t stick it in your eye!"
"My, what the gentlemare you are! I guess I’ll just close our mouth and-" Pinkie stopped as she took her first bite. Her eyes shot open, her mane gaining even more volume than normal.
It all made sense.
Gravity was caused by large objects in the thread of our universe.
So large in fact that they weighed upon said thread of existence causing a depression in the fabric of space time which was why objects had a tendency to fall! They were in fact falling through existence because Equestria was so large that it bended existence!
It simply blew her mind! How she went from nothing but questions to nothing but answers! She may as well call herself Pinkie Sparkle! And it was then that she came upon the greatest realisation of all. That she, Pinkamena Diane Pie, defined existence. She thought, she is the only that thinks, or at least she thought she was. Nevertheless. She can never be sure of the others. She has been given the duty of creating reality. She was born into this position and she had only just realised it until now. She briefly pondered how she managed to create existence subconsciously but was simply too enthralled by the idea that she was in fact the ruler almighty. She decided that she was going to make herself a THOUSAND cupcakes!
...
...
"Why isn’t it raining cupcakes!?" Pinkie cried to the heavens. It simply wasn’t fair. She had created everything after all! Why couldn’t she make a little more? She sighed as she realised she would have to go back to her thinking. So... If The universe was thread then... Existence was made of fabric! That was in fact a rather interesting thing she thought. She painted her existence, on fabric! A special fabric that's incredibly rare! Like sweetie belle did that one time and then rarity screamed so loud her windows broke! So if she was a painter and her existence fabric then... Ugh, her head was hurting again.
Pinkie groaned and decided that it was time to go... But first... She eyed the rest of her cupcake hungrily... The cupcake her prey. A simple creation of the creator and she, like the almighty predator she was, pounced and devoured the helpless morsel. As pinkie licked her lips a familiar sensation washed over her.
Realisation.
Pinkie was the painter of the fabric of existence. A painter couldn’t add more to her fabric without stopping it from being a fabric. Two fabrics maybe, a piece of fabric on another fabric but not one single piece of fabric. Her existence must remain unblemished if she wanted it to stay the same existence and so she couldn’t simply add a thousand cupcakes. Raining cupcakes simply wasn't on her fabric it seems. Pinkie nodded, quite certain of herself. As she moved to depart, a small thought wiggled its way to the surface.
This discovery was important.
Yes... yes it was! She had just figured out the biggest thing since that old bearded guy Twilight loves! She HAD to tell someone! But who!? Pinkie wasn’t sure. Although she tried to think of the most important pony she could think of but all that came up was herself! I mean she did create everything right? She supposed Celestia would have to do. But wait! Pinkie stopped. How did she create Celestia? She knew Celestia existed! She was part of her fabric.. Hrm.. Well obviously Celestia was in Canterlot so she could just create that... Pinkie tried her hardest, screwed her eyes shut and focused as hard as she could to create Canterlot. When she was certain she had done it she had opened her eyes and much to her great surprise Canterlot wasn't there... Pinkie thought back... Didn't her subconscious make existence anyways? So how does she go about using it..?
Well... She had created existence before... So why couldn’t she just walk there? Pinkie hoped that she was right lest she fall of the edge of existence! Then where would she be? Pinkie didn’t know and certainly didn’t try to think of it, she might create a vortex or something! She had been given great power and must use it with great responsibility! So, with a deep breath, Pinkie turned towards Canterlot...This time however it WAS there! Pinkie practically bounced up and down... Oh wait, she was bouncing up and down! She had created Canterlot! Pinkie dashed off towards the castle, no time to create a train! She had to meet Celestia!
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Celestia was having a bad day. The nobles had been as insufferable as ever, she worked long into the night and very much desired her bed. She had a sun to rise after all. But when a familiar pink blur dashed into her throne room she decided that her day was going to end on an interesting note. As she thought, said blur dashed and weaved through the myriad of ponies until the one and only Pinkie Pie stood nose to nose with the goddess.
"Celestiaohmygoshimsogladicreatedyouijustdiscoveredicreatedeverythingsocanipleasebeaprettyprincesstoo!?"
Celestia raised an eyebrow.