> DEMOCRACY OR DIE, The Displacement of Prime!
>  by DJ A String
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> TYRANTS MUST DIE
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Night in ‘Our Town’ was peaceful, if only for all but a select few. For them, the night was anything but.

The situation seemed bleak. The only ponies that Sugar Belle, Night Glider, and Party Favor thought could get their cutie marks back were now trapped by Starlight Glimmer, now doomed to the same fate that they had received oh so long ago. Now they were all doomed, and nothing could save them if not even a Princess could. Now, as they were being secured into the rehabilitation room, all hope seemed lost.

        Sugar Bell, who seemed the most down trodden, seeing as she was the one who had inadvertently caused the situation, walked to the Cutie Vault to look at her Cutie Mark one last time. It was as she stared at the collection of Marks that she noticed a flashing light, originating from behind the large wall that was the Cutie Vault.

        It was dim, and as Sugar Belle approached the source, it seemed to get no brighter. When she finally reached the source of the light, she found something that made her drop her jaw in both pure terror, and pure awe.

        Standing, or rather leaning, before Sugar Belle was what seemed to be the largest golem that she had ever seen in her life. It was of a strange bipedal design, and she estimated that if it were to stand straight up, instead of leaning against the wall like it was, it would have stood a good thirty feet tall. It looked as if it was heavily armored, and had seen battle. Bits and pieces of the metal giant boasted scorch marks or dents, sometimes both in the same spot. The head was unique. It almost reminded her of something from a movie that she had seen before she headed out to this town.

        After admiring and cowering in fear of the giant, she realized that it was inactive, seeing as it was not the thing making the light. No, the thing making the light was a small machine next to the behemoth. It looked to be housing another, much smaller and stranger golem of sorts. The golem inside was also inactive, but that’s not what Sugar was paying attention to. No, she was looking at the light that was on the side of the containment unit that said: REPAIRS COMPLETED.

        “Repairs?” Sugar Belle questioned. “Repairs on what?”

        It was then she noticed a large glowing red button boasting one word below it:

        “ACTIVATE”

        “Wait… Activate?” Sugar Belle said. “It must mean the giant golem! This thing could help us! This thing could save our town!”

        Sugar Belle jammed her hoof onto the large button with fervor, hoping to activate the towering metal figure so that it could help her cause. But that’s not what happened, and while it amazed her as the containment device lit up and the smaller golem powered up, it disappointed her greatly. Even as the glass door that held the golem inside opened, and the small, tentacled ball of a golem slipped out, she could not help but sigh with great regret and sadness for getting her hopes up so foolishly. It was at this point that the little golem decided to speak to her, surprising her greatly.

        “Hello, madame.” The golem said, it’s one lit up eye staring at her blankly. “Is something the matter? How might I be of assistance?”

        “It’s fine.” Sugar Belle said dismissively. “There’s nothing that you can do to help me. I was hoping this guy would wake up, but no. And there goes my hopes of the town being saved.”

        “A town? Saving?” The ball shaped golem said, it’s eye lowering slightly. “Well, I’m certain that if my master were awake, he would love to help. Even if he would only just be waking up, I know for certain that he’d be more than glad to help.”

        “Wait, what do you mean?” Sugar said, her mood picking up slightly.

        “I mean that I could activate my master.” The golem said. “Bring him back online if it would please you and help others.”

        “Oh~! Would you?” Sugar said, her mood now of pure joy. “He would be able to help us so much.”

        “Certainly, madame.” The golem said. “It would be a pleasure to bring him back online. I think he could use the exercise, anyways, lazybot that one. Now, if you could stand about fifteen feet back that way, I will activate him.”

        Sugar Belle did as she was told in hopes that the golem would indeed do as it said. She watched as the golem floated up to the head of the larger golem and poked something into it. She listened closely, hearing faint clicks and the voice of the smaller golem saying, ‘Rise and Shine, sir,’ or something like that.

        She couldn’t help but take another few steps back when the giant golem came to life. Loud noises filled the cave they were in. Bits and pieces of the golem flexed for a second, before snapping back to its original position. Finally, the long, thin visor on the golem’s head that seemed to be its ‘eyes’ came to life with a blue light.

        “Liberty Prime is online. All systems nominal. Weapons hot.” Came the booming voice from the massive golem. “Mission: Awaiting orders.”

        “Sir, this little one needs help.” Said the smaller golem, his voice barely audible over the sounds of the larger golem coming online. “Her town is in trouble, apparently.”

        “Smaller unit. Speak.” Came the booming voice of the golem again. “What is it you are in need of assistance with.”

        “U-uh…. O-our t-town….” Sugar Belle stuttered out. She took a few deep breaths and gulped down some air before shaking her head a few times and trying again. “O-our town is in need of help. Recently, a few of us realized a better way of getting along, but I don’t know how to convince everyone else with Starlight Glimmer looming over everyone. She’s won’t let anyone have a Cutie Mark and-”

        “COMMUNISM DETECTED.” The behemoth of a golem stated as if angry. “I shall help you, small creature. Communism is a temporary setback on the road to freedom, and I shall destroy that roadblock.” And with that, the massive golem got up from its leaning position and started heading out of the cave, stepping over Sugar Belle on its way out.

        “W-wait!” Sugar Belle yelled after the golem. “You have to-!” The golem stopped, its path being blocked by the massive wall that was the Cutie Vault. It stood still for only a moment more before slamming a massive fist into the back of it, knocking it over and essentially trapping the Cutie Marks inside. “H-hey! I needed you to help the town, not destroy the vault! How are we going to see, or even have our Cutie Marks now?! You screwed up your job!”

        “Mission: Destroy all Communists.” The behemoth said, stopping for a moment to turn and look at Sugar, then reach down and flip the fallen vault over so that the Cutie Marks inside were visible. “I have not failed the mission.”

        It was at this point that Sugar realized what the golem was going to do. She ran past the slow moving golem, running at full speed to warn the others in the dark and sleeping town.





        The golem did not make it to the town that night. Nor did it show up in the morning. No, instead Sugar Belle seemed crazy, and the rest of the town seemed frightened to have heard the news. She slept the rest of the night with Night Glider in an attempt to soothe her frazzled nerves.

        It wasn’t until it was time to check on the ‘new additions’ to the town that Sugar Belle sounded less crazy.

        When the door opened to the shack that held the ‘new additions’, the golem made its appearance. It walked into the town with its huge slow gait. It moved down the center of town, avoiding any pony that ran in front of it. It even stopped when it reached the massive group of ponies in front of the shack.

        “Citizens, move aside! I shall liberate you from Communism, with liberal Democracy!” The massive metal giant yelled.

        “Communism?” Came a cry from the crowd. “We’re just following Starlight’s ideas. It’s brought us harmony so far.”

        “Yeah! Starlight’s been good to us!” Came another cry.

        “Go away, giant metal monster guy!”

        “Ponies! Ponies! Settle down!” Starlight yelled. “Obviously this thing knows nothing of friendship! Let him come in and learn!”

        “But Starlight!” Cried Sugar Belle. “It’s here to-”

        “Then let’s try and teach him a new way!” Starlight preached. “Ponies, stand aside. Let him come and be our new friend! Come, let me teach you, metal giant!”

        The ponies of the town all smiled creepily with their huge fake grins and nodded before stepping aside. Starlight was now alone and in the open. If only she knew who she was dealing with.

        Immediately after everyone stepped away from the giant’s path, the being took one giant step forward……

        And shot a blue laser from its visor.

        Starlight immediately reacted to the violent act and put up a force field in front of her. It absorbed the attack, but just barely, shattering from the force of the laser. Starlight panicked a little and began to sweat. Nothing had been this strong, and nothing had decided to attack her over her ideas before. She threw up another, much larger force field in between her and the giant metal monstrosity before shooting through it with a magical blast. The blast impacted the metal golem and did nothing. Not so much as a scorch mark appeared on the being, but it seemed as if it didn’t matter. The metal giant had stopped his approach.

        “Obstruction detected.” Came the voice of the humongous metal golem. “Composition: Photonic resonance barrier. Probability of mission hinderance: ZERO PERCENT!” And with that, the being jammed its hands into the force field that Starlight conjured, putting more and more strain on her, making her sweat more and more as he tore it apart.

        By the time the monstrosity was done destroying Starlight’s last attempt at defence, she was exhausted. Sweat ran down every corner of her body. Her mane clung to her pelt, her fur was matted down, and a certain spot of makeup had run off, revealing what was underneath.

        There was a collective gasp from the crowd gathered around, and the golem seemed to stop its attack for a little. Starlight looked at them, then to the golem, then to herself. She then realized what they had gasped about as she quickly went to cover her flanks.

        “What are you all looking at?!” Starlight barked. “That thing is the problem!”

        “How could you?” Came a voice from the crowd.

        “You said Cutie Marks were evil!” Came another voice. “You said special talents lead to pain, and heartache!”

        “They do, don’t you see?” Starlight said. “Look at that thing! It came here from behind the vault, according to Sugar Belle!”

        “Then why?” Came the voice of Sugar Belle. “Why did you take ours and not give up your own?”

        “I-... I had to, you fools!” Starlight said. “How could I collect your Cutie Marks without my magic?”

        “But, the staff has all the magic we need!” Came another voice.

        “The staff is a piece of wood I found in the desert!” Starlight barked. “It’s my magic that makes all this possible. You’d all still be living your miserable lives thinking you’re better than everypony else, if it weren’t for MY magical abilities! I brought you friendship! I brought you equality! I created HARMONY!”

        “Statement is false.” The golem intoned. “Being has created Communism. And Communism is INEXCUSABLE.”

        “AH~!” Starlight screamed like the little bitch she was as the giant metal beast’s hand swiped down and snatched her up, before silencing her with a squelching crunch, her blood gushing from around the clenched fist of the monster Sugar Belle had unwittingly unleashed, everypony gawking in horror at the sight as the monstrous murderous golem coldly tossed their former leader’s pulped corpse back onto the street.

“TYRANT EXECUTED! MISSION: COMPLETE.” Came the booming voice of the metal behemoth. It turned and walked away from the bloody mess that it had just made on the road, everypony backing away from the body, scared, and really wishing that even though she was a cruel mare who tricked them; that she hadn’t been killed at all.





The massive metal behemoth headed back to the cave containing the Cutie Vault, the ponies of the town following a more than safe distance behind. When it reached the cave, the townsfolk saw it punch something, then a bunch of lights came flying out and towards them. They all panicked for a second, but calmed when they realized that it was their Cutie Marks, not another attack. They all crowded around the cave, shouting thanks into it, then ran off. Only six remained behind. They stood at the entrance of the cave, apprehensive about entering, then walked in slowly.

As they got further in the cave, they could hear the golem talking to something.

“Fix it.” Came the booming voice of the massive golem from further in the cave.

“Sir, it is only startup issues.” Came a much more calm voice. It at least sounded a little more cultured. “I’m sure it should fix itself in-”

“The dial is turned.” The massive golem’s voice said again. “Fix it now. Aggression is not needed. Communism has been eradicated. Repair to personality is now needed. Fix it.”

The other voice sighed. “As you wish, sir.”

This was when the six ponies who stayed behind finally were able to see who and what the massive golem was talking to. It was a much smaller ball shaped golem creature with tentacles coming off of it, and being suspended in the air by some form of rocket on the bottom of it. It was currently sticking something into the side of the larger golem’s neck, and there were audible clicking noises, like a dial was being turned. The clicking stopped, and the smaller golem removed the rather large spike that it had apparently been sticking into a small slot on the larger golem’s neck. The slot was covered up a second afterwards.

“Better, sir?” Asked the smaller golem.

“Much.” Came a much calmer version of the giant golem’s voice. “Thanks, Mr. Handy.”

“It is my directive to please, Prime.” Said the newly dubbed ‘Mr. Handy’. “But I must ask sir, why did you come in this part of the cave, specifically?”

“Because we’re packing up and leaving, Mr. Handy.” The massive golem now dubbed as ‘Prime’ said. “This town just isn’t ready for Liberty Prime, and neither is the rest of Equestria. Celestia showed me that long ag-” The now properly dubbed Liberty Prime stared at the ponies that had been watching him and his assistant. “Oh, great. More pon-” The being stared intently at the winged and horned pony of the group. “Crap. Another alicorn. Mr. Handy, get in your station, we’re leaving now. I’m sorry, Ms. Alicorn and whoever you all are. I mean no trouble. I’m just leaving.” And with that, the ‘Mr. Handy’ golem went into a sort of container, Liberty Prime picked up the container, and then Liberty Prime stepped over the ponies and ‘ran’ much faster than any of the ponies could possibly move, minus maybe the prismatic one, who was still in shock from seeing a fellow pony be reduced to nothing but a fine red paste and mangled bones in front of her eyes.

“What was that?!” Said the alicorn of the group.

> Accessing Data File: First Encounters
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Why?

        Why did I have to kill her? This could have been solved a better way. Everything could have been solved a better way. But no, instead, because of my malfunctioning ass self, I killed another. And it just brings to mind a couple questions.

        Where did it all start? Where did my life turn to this?

        Oh yeah, that’s right. It all started with that damn Merchant that sold me the Mr. Handy scale model. Even had a little case for it shaped like the station the inactive Mr. Handy’s ‘slept’ in. I mean, it seemed fine enough, and I just went on through my day. Then I stopped and opened the freaking case and Mr. Handy started talking to me. Next thing I knew, I was in freaking pony land.

        It just sucked from there on out. I got stuck as Liberty Prime, robot programming and all, and couldn’t do shit about it. Wasn’t until a complete year later that I was able to get Mr. Handy to fix some of the programming, let me control the body fully instead of having ‘the mission’ get priority over everything else. And don’t get me started on how much that sucked. Nuked a small town full of creatures, all because they weren’t OBVIOUSLY ‘democratic’. Fucking original programming.

        I mean, just because someone has different ideologies than you doesn’t mean you have any RIGHT to kill them! Why did I ever think Prime was so cool? Why did I ever fucking go to that convention?!

        I steamed to myself as I hurriedly trudged through the rainy forests of the area, away from whatever that town was named, Ourton or something? Whatever, I just murdered some poor creature in front of the whole town, I had to skedaddle before Sunbutt showed up and made my life hell...well, more hell. These scorch marks aren’t from some scrub taking shots at me like thAT COMMIE BITCH-no...no, not going there. Not after I just got my personality matrix readjusted.

        But still…. Sunbutt liked to plague me like no other. Doesn’t help I’m getting this feeling that that purple Alicorn from that weird ass one-street town was there, even if I didn’t see her in my completely mission-focused mindset. Just reminded me of one of the reasons I hid, one of the reasons I was getting repaired in that cave in the first place. Sunbutt, or as her braINWASHED FOLLOWERS LIKED TO CALL-.... No, calm down, Prime. You don’t have to be like that all the time. Now what was I thinking of? Oh yeah, Sunbutt’s followers liked to call her ‘Princess Celestia’, and that Alicorn did not help to keep her image out of my mind. Hell, she was the reason that town got nuked….. That poor town……

        “Hey wait!” Oh no...don’t tell me…. “Hey, hold up!” Great, the rainbow-haired one somehow managed to follow me. I’m moving at land-speeds of just below mach ONE! Ugh...just what I need, a TRACKER! KILL-no! Not like the last one! Not like her! “I just wanted to thank you for saving us! And also ask why you killed her instead of just, arresting her or something!!”

        Just keep moving Prime. Don’t respond and keep moving. Don’t look at her, and do not, for whatever reason, think about her hair and what it looks like. Might spike another reaction with the programming-HOMOSEXUAL PROTESTER! MUST DEFEND TO PRESERVE RIGHT OF FREE CHOICE IN-shut up! This isn’t you’re fucked up world where being gay was a crime! Sure, you might’ve been programmed to be a Liberal-DEFEND RIGHT TO CHOOSE-but that isn’t the point in this situation! She’s not gay...probably.

        “Hello! I’m trying to talk to you! Keeping the speed isn’t an issue for The Dash, but I’m kinda getting irritated with you not answering me!” The cyan-coated pegasus announced as she managed to actually get a perch on my right shoulder, seeming comfortable with my massive stride’s jostles. The winged ones were always more resilient to punishment in my experience, so whatever, have to get her to leave peacefully.

        “Leave me alone, small being.” I called to the pony that had managed to latch onto my shoulder as I continued to move at my apparent top speed. Anytime I tried to go faster parts started shifting out of place or whatnot and Handy would have to service me again. How he gets his little claws on spares of all my parts is beyond me….

        “No! You killed somepony back there, and I’m the only one who can keep up with you! I won’t just let you go without explaining yourself. I mean, sure, you did something wrong, but legally; you were in the right since screwing with Cutie Marks is punishable with banishment or death or whatever else Twilight said about it. Only reason she wasn’t imprisoned herself was because our situation with her spell was intended and given a pardon or whatever.” Gosh this mare was chatty, her scratchy voice was getting on my nerves.

        “I said leave me alone.” I demanded of the pony on my shoulder again. Damn pony can’t get it in her mind to leave the giant robot that kills things alone. “I’ll give you one more warning before things get worse for you and me.”

        “Like how? You can’t use that laser eye-beam while I’m on you without toasting your shoulder, and I’m not an egghead, but I can tell the size of your arms won’t let you reach up here.” The cheeky pegasus countered, and I suddenly stopped, her not even being tossed by suddenly going from near-sound speed to zero. Damn winged ones and their resilience...she was right too. “So...gonna talk? Or do I have to sit here like a parrot all day until you cave?”

        “A parrot is still better than you.” I said. 

        “Well I’m more colorful than one, and I’m more interesting to talk to I bet. I don’t think you’ll find a parrot better than me. Squawk.” She cheekily punctuated, getting my inner Prime to start really wishing she wasn’t in such an unassailable position. Not even Sunbutt knew about the shoulders…. Then again, she probably would never have been able to fit her fat ass there, anyways. I still remember finding her cake stash that one day she threw me and I destroyed a good chunk of her castle. Ah, of all my memories, that one is my favorite.

        “Well, you’re better at this than Sunbutt, at least.” I said, finally relenting. “But, just as your last warning, you’re not gonna like my story, let alone what’ll happen if you continue to sit on my shoulder. But if you must sit there to listen to my story. Very well.” I looked around, and saw a small plateau that was only about half my height above the ground, and moved to set Handy’s container on it as I turned to sit down. Oh gosh...not feeling anything as a robot isn’t true, taking a rest, letting the chassis just settle dow-ENTERING REST MODE! Ugh, yes, Prime, rest mode. Ah...there’s the power bar, slowly climbing up instead of rapidly going down. Gotta keep that in mind.

        “Well big fella, I don’t really have anywhere to be, and the girls know I’ll be fine since I got this doohickey Twilight gave me to teleport back to her if I’m in trouble. I’m all ears, even if I’m not the best listener.” She informed as she got comfortable on top of my shoulder. Ugh, pegasi. Able to get cozy even in a heavy rain like this. Only reason we could hear one another was because I was inherently loud as it was, and my audio receptors could single her out from the din of rainfall on my metal chassis.

        “Well, goodie for you.” I said sarcastically. “I suggest you use that by the time my tale is done, otherwise I’m sacrificing part of myself to get you gone.”

        “Oh~ a badass. I can appreciate that. Go on then. Sooner you’re done, sooner I’m gone. I don’t mind the rain, but won’t you rust or something?” Oh, great, concern. Someone actually cares? Yeah, right.

        “How about you shut up for a few seconds so I can actually start giving my spiel.” I growled, some of Prime’s eternal aimless rage leaking into my tone, and she rolled her eyes before she waved a hoof to tell me to get on with it. Oh Monty...I miss you…. “It all started...I’m not sure...several hundred years ago?”





        [748 Years Ago - Tall Tale Excavation Site]

        Where am I? It’s so dark...I can’t feel anything. Can’t move. But I’m also not panicking. Some sort of cold-hard logic was completely overriding my desire to panick. “I think we’ve found something!” A voice? Where? “It’s made of an initially unknowable alloy, unlike bronze or iron, or even mithril. It’s hard and firm to the touch, and-.” I heard a clang, and the next thing I knew, suddenly, all two of my senses of sight and sound flared to life in an inferno, and I felt a blindingly painful heat in the core of what felt like my abdomen.

        “LIBERTY PRIME, IS ONLINE! WEAPONS: HOT! MISSION: THE DESTRUCTION OF ANY AND ALL CHINESE COMMUNISTS!” I yelled out without me having done the yelling, hearing yelps in response-.





        “There’s that word again.” The pegasus said again. “What is that?”

        “Do you want me to go back into the same processes as earlier?” I asked. “You know, the ones that involved me killing someone?”

        “Shutting up.”





        “It’s a golem of yore! Run! Call the guard!” A voice shouted as my sight finally came to me, eerily being overlaid with the familiar HUD from Fallout 3 and New Vegas with a blue tint as my body suddenly seemed to rise from the ground on it’s own, which, upon looking down, was one hundred percent true! I’d somehow been buried under, what the height of the walls of an obvious dig-site around tell me and my HUD’s comprehensive scanning informing me; was at least thirty feet below ground level.

        “SCANNING...LOCATION UNKNOWN. SATELLITE UPLINK FAILURE! CONCLUSION: DEEP IN HOSTILE TERRITORY, BEING JAMMED BY COMMIE FORCES!” What the hell?! I’m not the one saying this! “PRIORITY: FIND MAINTENANCE UNIT FOR FIELD DIAGNOSTICS. SECOND PRIORITY: KILL ALL COMMIES ON SIGHT!” No! No killing! “DETECTING MALFUNCTIONING MORALITY PROCESSES, SUPPRESSING!” No-!

        When I next came to, it was...oh god...oh god no!





        “Why’d you stop?” The pegasus asked. “It sounded like it was getting good!”

        “Trust me when I say it wasn’t.” I said. “Listen, if you want to bail now, I won’t hold it against you. But if you stay and listen, just know that I warned you.”





        Fire. For miles in all directions there was nothing but fire, scorched earth, and the faint remnants of what must’ve been a town. Because those looked like the destroyed buildings of one. Because those shadows on some of the standing walls and the charred corpses littering the area could only be my fault!

“COMMUNIST SETTLEMENT DESTROYED! THIS REGION SECURED IN THE NAME OF DEMOCRACY!” NO! NO-HO-HO~! How could you?! Why would you do this?! “THEY WERE ALL BRANDED! SIGNS OF BEING RULED BY A TYRANT! I FREED THEM FROM THEIR OPPRESSION!” YOU JUST MURDERED INNOCENT PEOPLE! I won’t let you get away with-! “ROGUE PERSONALITY DETECTED! SUPPRESSING!” N-no! Not this time you genocidal monster! Why did I ever admire you?! Why did I even dress up as you for GameCon?!





        “What’s GameCon?” The mare asked curiously, disturbingly not visibly disgusted with the mention of me murdering an entire town.

        I moved for a facepalm, only to remember that I couldn’t, my arm stopping halfway. Fucking limited mobility. Prime was designed to only interact with things below it aside from the specific arm motions for pitching these nukes like footballs, no over-the-shoulder motion was available due to the bulk.

        “Listen, it’s a convention, and let’s leave it at that, alright?” I said. “Why aren’t you bothered that I slaughtered an entire town?”

        “The Razing of Tall Tale was hundreds of years ago. Learned about it in school. Sure, you being the one who did it is kinda scary, but you weren’t in control. Can’t hold that against ya.” That’s...shockingly nice of her to say…. “Also I got to see a stallion be eaten alive by piranhas once, and went through therapy, so I’m a bit desensitized to it.” That was...disturbingly insightful. “So? What’d you do next?”





        “MAL-MAL-MALFUNCTION DETECTED! BEING OVERRIDDEN BY FOREIGN AI! PURGING!” Shit! Shit! I feel like I’m dying! Whatever I’m doing, I’d better do it fast before-. “I die from this asshole trying to….” ‘Did...did I do-.’ RETURN CONTROL IMMEDIATELY COMMIE INTELLIGENCE! ‘I’m not a Communist!’ DISPLAY A SENSE OF DEMOCRACY! ‘Free-will! The right to life, to liberty, the pursuit of happiness and all that shit! Fucking America asshole! Anyone who just does things like what you did are-!’ DEMOCRACY DETECTED! ‘Uh...is it really that sim-?’ COMPANION AI IS FRIENDLY! RECORDS SHOW DOWNLOAD OF ALLY WAS UNREGISTERED AND PERFORMED 133 YEARS PRIOR. ‘What?! I’ve been here for-?!’ DETECTING AIRBORNE BOGIES AT SOUTHEAST COORDINATES BY SOUTH BY SOUTHEAST!

        “What do you mean-?!”

        “WHO DARES TO HAVE SLAIN MY LITTLE PONIES?!”





        “And after that, I fought with Celestia on and off, especially since it was her who ordered me excavated in the first place.” I said. “That first battle in particular was pretty bad. Lost control again during the battle and almost threw another bomb.”

        “Whoa...so these dents and stuff are all from the Princess? How’d you manage to avoid getting captured or broken?” The little pony asked, her face with some awe and her eyes sparkling. Damn it...the cuteness...so hard to resist.

        “Well, I was too big to be caught, and she almost destroyed me several times, but my photon lasers were more than enough to deny any of her strongest spells with my attack speed and power. In the end, I think she decided to let me limp away when she was too tired her last attempt...clock says about 90 years ago. Been under repairs since then until recently.” I informed, and then decided that since nothing else of note happened, that I was done. “That’s basically it. Nothing else worth pointing out. I killed that mare back there because I didn’t have full control of myself. Now get lost, before I decide to go armless for a while.”

        “Aw, alright. But dude, you can’t beat yourself up about what happened, alright? If you’re at fault, then Luna should be banished again for everything she did when she was possessed, same with Rarity. It’s just not right to punish somepony for something that wasn’t their fault. So I hope ya don’t keep hurting yourself over all that, even if it did involve ponies dying.” The pegasus said to me with absolute honesty, which I could tell since her heartbeat was even, her breathing too. “Anyway, before I go; name’s Rainbow Dash. What’s yours?”

        “I’m Liberty Prime.” I said. “Wasn’t always that, but that’s who I am now.”

        “Well Liberty, see ya later then.” Dash reached into her saddlebags, and pulled out a...stick? She snapped it, and suddenly she was gone in a flash of teleportation. They can make those remotely now? Damn...what’s happened the past 90 years since I’ve been out of commission? Also...ew...Liberty is a girl’s name...I can’t believe I JUST realized that….

        SCOUTING REQUIRED! Damn it Prime, no! Every time we try to do that, we just get attacked again! DATA INSUFFICIENT! PONY ARCANOTECH ADVANCEMENTS MUST BE ACKNOWLEDGED FOR COUNTERMEASURES! Damn it Prime! Ugh...damn it...why does he have to be right? INITIALIZING AIDE BOT.

        “How may I serve you Master?” Handy asked as he awoke from his charging station, and hovered up to optics level.

        “NEED SCOUTING DETAIL ON PONY MAGICAL ADVANCEMENTS.” We always end up relying on Handy don’t we? He’s the only one who’s been there from the start after all….





        [West Coast of Equestria - 748 years ago]

That winged and horned BITCH! Sure I fucked up! Sure Prime killed everyone there...who were all apparently ponies too, for whatever reason. But the fact that in her ranting she revealed she was the one who ordered what was from scans Prime took during the fight had to have been a Vault of some sort to be excavated just rattled my patience. She had ordered those poor ponies to investigate something she had no clue about! She should’ve been more careful! I might not have been activated then, but damn it-FRIENDLY SIGNAL DETECTED! What now?!

My HUD began blinking on an established compass that took the position of the sun into account, my burned, dented and battered body creaking and groaning as I moved around to follow the constantly updating beacon direction. I only managed to get away from that sunny-assed flying horse since I hit her with a photon beam and she went down, but not dead, barely even singed actually, more stunned, and I managed to flee as fast as my damaged body could while she was down for the count.

Eventually it finished setting its direction to north by northwest, which was slightly off the coast, which worried me, especially since after following the beach north for several miles, it pointed straight off into the ocean. Let me tell you, I have never been that worried going into water before. Prime wouldn’t stop screaming damage reports at me as we took on water through the cracks in our chassis either. But eventually we found him. Handy was preserved perfectly in his stasis pod in a small shipwreck just barely off the coast.

The fact said ship was clearly human in design, along with the fact it looked distinctly like an American Navy vessel had me worried; if this was here, if I aka: Prime, was here, then what else could these unsuspecting ponies happen upon?

Ever since then, Handy has been my only companion aside from Prime. Keeping me running, reminding me when my energy reserves needed time to build back up since Prime neglected that….





        “Your energy reserves have returned to stable levels master!” I suddenly stopped viewing old memory files at Handy’s prompt, and indeed; my reactor had filled my energy reserves back up. Damn things dropped like rocks and the charge took ages when empty, try almost a week when empty. Yeah. That bad. Whether or not I wasn’t the real Prime, I still had his energy issues. Fun thing is, I have NO idea what I run off of. It was never explained in the game, so my knowledge on that wasn’t helpful, and Prime and Handy refuse to tell me what it is, either saying that it was classified, or in Handy’s case, unable to access the information.

        “Thank you Handy. Now, I called you out for another scouting mission. Prime, where is the nearest settlement besides the one we just fled from?” NEAREST UNNATURAL GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATIONS REPORTED FROM SATELLITE TO BE SEVERAL DOZEN MILES SOUTH BY SOUTHEAST. Thank you Prime. Oh yeah, also; there’s a satellite up there, somewhere. Scary shit. I found that out when escaping Sunbutt once dropped me through a weakened cave roof into what became my base. It was once a military installation at one point in the long lost past, which apparently the ponies were mostly clueless about.

        I pray to god that they never fully realize it, or they finally listen to me about the dangers of radiation and the technology that uses it, even with Sunbutt trying to destroy me at every turn and deny my existence to the public. They did manage, however, to develop something similar called Arcanotech. The ponies had cars, guns, and even flight assisting tech to make flying faster for pegasi last I had been in the know. That had been over 90 years ago. I could only hope they hadn’t gone too far yet.

        “Master? Where am I to go?” Handy asked dutifully, and I brought up the fuzzy image taken by the ancient satellite that only managed to keep operating thanks to its solar power and maintenance robots.

        “South by southeast. Ponyville.”

> Handy's Misadventure Among Handless
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        “I must say, things have quite cleaned up in the past 90 years.” Handy commented to himself as he “stealthily” hovered behind a bunch of houses on the outskirts of Ponyville. Really, several ponies had already seen him, but since the Mr. Hoofy robots started being mass-produced, it was a common sight and they just ignored him. “It would seem technology has advanced to a point where robots are common. 90 years ago they were still in the animatronic phase, so simple.”

        “Excuse me, mister robot.” Handy turned around in his spot hovering in the air to see a little filly holding a broken kite. “Could you please fix my kite for me?”

        “Of course little equine, I shall be glad to mend your primitive miniature gliding device.” Handy promptly took the ripped kite from the filly and placed it on the ground, positioning the torn sections back together, then turning to his flamethrower, switching the fuel with adhesive, which was just as flammable, and liberally spreading it over the kite. “There we are! Let it dry and it should stand the test of the sky again.”

        “Thanks Mister!” The adorable little thing beamed as she blew on the adhesive to get it to dry faster.

        “Not a problem, young sir.” Handy replied as he floated off.

        “But I’m a filly!” She whined.

        “Pardon me, young madame. My sensors must need adjusting.” Handy mused out loud. “I shall have to ask my master to help with that.”

        “Well, it’s okay. You guys are still really new anyway.” The filly commented, and continued to blow on the glue as Handy digested the information and continued to float around the edge of town.

        ‘It is a good thing master selected the option for ‘free-will’, lest I be stuck here all day helping these handless ponies. But the little ones are so adorable I cannot help helping and storing the images of their joy in a database for later perusal.’ Handy thought, as having been active for centuries set to ‘free-will’, his limited AI had evolved enough to actually use that free-thought feature.

        “Hello there, Mr. Hoofy!” Handy sensed from the aim of the voice, and the tone, that the speaker was addressing him, and he turned to see an elderly stallion seemingly stuck out of his wheelchair in his backyard. “Please help, I can’t get back in my chair.”

        “Oh dear, certainly good sir!” Handy floated over to the elderly stallion that had called him over, using his claw to carefully guide the weak old pony back into his chair, as with just the one claw, and the stallion’s clearly fragile nature, just picking him up was foolish and highly unadvised. “There we are! If you require regular tending, why haven’t you obtained the services of a nurse?”

        “Bah, I have nurses, but they’re changing shifts and I guess the next one’s late. Just had to tip over from hitting a rock with my wheel too. Still, don’t regret sending TLC home to her son where she should be rather than keep her waiting for a lazy good-for-nothing like-bah, nevermind. Ignore my rambling. Thank you Mister.” The stallion dismissed as he carefully began using his hooves to move his wheelchair back towards the ramp up to his back door.

        “‘Tis a pleasure, sir.” Handy said before floating off to continue his mission.

        “Mister robot, mister robot!” Came the call of a small paint-patterned white and tan colt that had a more accented english than most ponies. “Can you tell me a joke, mister robot?”

        “Why certainly, young sir.” Mr. Handy replied, quickly dipping into his database on humor. “The cannibal threw up his arms, to his dismay.”

        After a few seconds, the colt suddenly started laughing. “Cannibal! Threw up his arms, cuz he ate em! I got it! Give me another.”

        “Very well. I once visited a crematorium that gave discounts for burn victims.”

        “But then how’d they be able to-oh! Yeah, that is silly! Another!” The colt started bouncing in place.

        “One more, sir. Then I should be off to continue my assigned task. What is a pirate’s favorite letter?”

        “Well this should be easy for me! R!”

        “No! Tis the C!” The colt then burst out laughing.

        “Should’ve seen that one! I’m a pirate after all! Well, thank you Mister! I’ve got to go share those with the other robots, they’re not as funny as you!”

        “Why thank you, young sir. I shall remember that.” Mr. Handy told the colt before floating away. ‘Good heavens! Ponies these days sure are friendly! 90 years ago and as far back as I remember, they’d sooner throw stones before engaging in conversation.’

        “Hey Mister!” Handy felt an emotion he wasn’t familiar with, but he sensed from his thesaurus and dictionary terms that it must’ve been irritation.





        ‘Where the hell is that robot?’ I thought to myself from the edge of the rather impressive treeline overlooking the small hamlet of Ponyville. Even from here I could see with my telescopic vision and scanners that the town, even given it’s size, was beyond advanced compared to the last time I was operational. ‘Cars, using electricity instead of magic for lighting, that dam I see to the south of the lake is the obvious source. I see other robots similar in design to Handy, so from here I can’t tell which one might be him. They live in modern homes too, not like the thatched-roof cottages they were so content with 90 years ago.’

        It explained a lot, actually, of how the ponies back at that town he LIBERATED FROM TYRANNY reacted to him so casually rather than outright running away like he was used to. If robots are an everyday thing now, then maybe he could try to connect? Make contact? Peace? AS IF! THESE FOUR-LEGGED FREAKS HAVE OUSTED US FOR-shut up! No! Bad Prime! Go to your room! DESIGNATION: ROOM, DOES NOT EXIST. Oh, be quiet.

        Regardless, kneeling here wasn’t giving me any more information than what a distance observation could supply, but I couldn’t risk moving in, no clue where the military, or Sunbutt could be. Probably up there, in her ivory towers, as usual-LORDING OVER THEM ALL LIKE A FALSE GOD! I growled to myself, seething, before turning my sight back to the town and returned to waiting. ‘Just have to wait for Handy’s report, that’s what I’ll have to rely on.





        Handy sighed in exasperation as he flushed the now-unclogged toilet. “There, good as new.”

        “Thank ya kindly Mister Robot! Ah was afraid Ah’d have to call the engineer union, and they don’t like fixin’ things like plumbing much.” The orange earth pony mare with blond hair and a stetson commented with a smile. “Ah wasn’t all too keen on yer type when the companies started spewin’ ya out like all kinds of hooey, but yer alright.”

        “Your acceptance of my existence pleases me greatly.” Handy replied sarcastically. Of course though, his voice modulator couldn’t emulate sarcasm.

        “Well Ah wouldn’t take it that far.” And clearly the mare didn’t notice, fantastic. “You tell yer owner Ah appreciate this, and if they want Ah’ll pay for yer time.”

        “As much as I’m sure my master would love to be paid, I cannot speak for him, nor do I believe he currently needs money of any sort.” Handy openly admitted, and the mare nodded in understanding.

        “Ah can see that, if he could afford ya, Ah don’t think he’d be hurtin’ for bits none.”

        “In total and brutal honesty, madame, my owner is broke. I was his last purchase, if my memory circuits are not on the fritz. In fact, he fixed me up rather, I’d been tossed out with the trash I believe.” Handy admitted, and the mare looked absolutely beside herself with shock.

        “Truly?! That’s horrible! But you said he didn’t need no bits!” She seemed both concerned and confused, the reasons why Handy couldn’t really fathom.

        “He is a proud one I must say. He wouldn’t take anyone’s help if he could help it. He accepts mine because it’s what I was made for, and I’m not a living being he’s pestering all the time.” Handy disclosed, there was no harm in it. It wasn’t like this mare was a potential enemy or anything. A mere farmer on the edge of a small town, no way was she a threat. Sure she could buck him hard enough to smash in his outer chassis if his scans of her physique were accurate, but aside from that, no.

        “Sounds like my kind of folk, but he needs to learn that acceptin’ help ain’t a sign of weakness.” The mare said with a tone of understanding, the inflection reading to Handy that she had personal experience with this topic.

        “It’s not that, he just doesn’t need it. He has a plan, so to speak.” Handy attempted to explain.

        “Well, that sounds like more hooey to me. If you wouldn’t mind passing along a message. If he’s in trouble, or needs any help, just bring him on over.”

        “I will be sure to pass along the message, though I fear it will do little. Farewell young Applejack. It was a pleasure to assist you.” Handy then patiently hovered out of the cozy farm house, and back towards town. ‘Hm, interesting. This offer is odd, but may prove useful. I will inform master of this, most certainly.’

        “Oh dear, what’s a robot doing out here alone?” Handy’s attention was brought to a white mare with purple hair, looking at him in bewilderment as she trotted along the road from town in a set of saddlebags. “Are you lost dear? Faust knows how often you poor things glitch and your mapping systems error.”

        “Not at all madame. My mapping subroutines are unnecessary for travel or standard waypoint protocols.” The mare hummed and seemed even more interested.

        “That is impressive. Most Mr. Hoofies can’t even find their chassis with all three arms and a map. They’re best kept to a single task or several within a small area. Who programmed you?”

        “The geniuses at Rob-Co., madame. My initial code was written by Doctor Robert Edwin House, himself.”

        “Ah, an error, you mean Doctor Robin Egg Horse. Such a strange name, but such a strange stallion, designing wondrous things like yourself. I personally have only written code for some minor behavior algorithms for my special dresses and suits to automatically clean or remove wrinkles themselves.” The mare corrected, confusing Handy at her saying his creator wasn’t his creator.

        “Ah, well, it is nice to see a programmer after so long. It has been a while.” Handy said, trying to wrap his head around the strange idea about the similarities and differences of this world. “I do thank you for helping in correcting myself.” ‘Note: Local variant of House is Horse. Ensure replacement of terms in conversation with locals.’ “What is your name if I may be so bold miss?”

        “I am Rarity Belle, or just Rarity. I’m not much of a programmer, but thank you for the compliment. Now I must continue on, I have plans with Applejack. Ta~.” The white unicorn bid adieu as she trotted along to the farm Handy had just left.

        ‘Note; programmers are used in unconventional areas.’ Handy made sure to chalk up, before turning towards where his master would be hiding, not wanting to go through town and end up helping half of it again. You’d think their own Mr. Handies, or apparently Hoofies, would be able to do such simple things! He pitied them so.

        “There you are!” Handy about overheated in frustration, his cooling pump working overdrive to prevent a critical failure. He rotated to face the mare, and about jumped into combat protocol at the sight of the purple alicorn that was rushing up to him, her legs blurring on the grass until she was barely several feet away. “Whew, found you. You’re that new model Mr. Hoofy that’s been helping around town aren’t you?”

        “I do not understand what you mean, miss.” Mr. Handy said. “I am a Type-1, just as is the few others I have seen around this town.” ‘Deception.exe successful.’ “But I have been the one helping around, yes.” ‘Honesty.exe successful. Self-Pride.exe successful.’

        “Good, because I noticed that you don’t have any Arcanotech when I saw you earlier and asked around; you’ve been helping out, but while your programming is superior, your hardware is lacking.” The purple alicorn stated factually, as if what she’d said wasn’t an insult. Then again Handy’s a robot, who’s he to take offense? How about several hundred years of DOING HIS JOB?!

        “I’m sorry? I seem to be in perfect functioning order, there is nothing wrong with my current chassis.” Mr. Handy retorted. “For your information, my owner found me dumped off-shore and brought me into working order. I do not appreciate you criticizing his good work. It is insulting to him and to me.”

        “Well I’m sorry, but it’s true. Whoever he is he did a spectacular job, but you use a claw instead of a hoof that can grab onto any surface, your thaumic resonator is instead an adhesive and flame dispenser, and your saw doesn’t have a molecular blade. I’d be willing to give you some free upgrades for your arms if you or your master permits for helping so many ponies today

        “Well, I’d have to ask my owner first. I doubt he’d be happy if I suddenly showed up with brand new upgrades.”

        “Understandable. If Spike decided to open one of my bot’s guts and rewire the programming I’d be really upset myself. Please let him know, and return with the answer anytime; I’ll gladly give you a free tune-up. Faust knows the Hoofies need their OS updated badly, especially compared to your custom OS. Oh, and before I forget, I’m Twilight Sparkle. You be safe now.” She then shined her horn in purple aura, and flashed away in a teleport.

        ‘Well, that was a harrowing and risky encounter. Note; alicorn in town, by name of Twilight Sparkle, clearly a skilled engineer. Coloration: Lavender with a dark purple-blue and pink mane.’ “I believe I have more than enough information to deliver to master.” A thud occurred as something impacted the top of Handy’s chassis, making his eyes spin inward to see a small innocuous brown box on top of his head. “A package? Curious.”

        “Oh, so sorry~!” Handy turned his eyes up to see a gray pegasus mare with shock-yellow hair and wall-eyes hover down to him, wearing a blue uniform and hat with a large heavy brown bag full of letters and packages. “I’m such a ditz sometimes. Mister robot, I dropped-.”

        “A package on my chassis. It is fine madame, no damage was done.” Several seconds passed, and without input, Handy decided to take action himself, moving his claw up and grabbing the package, before handing it to her. “Here you are.”

        “W-wow...sorry I spaced out a moment. You...didn’t need me to ask you to?” She seemed amazed, and a bit excited.

        “Of course not, ma’am. It is only the correct response according to my programming.” Handy responded with a bit of a lie. That was him, not programming. ‘Need to be more careful, it seems these ponies’ robots do not have proper AI yet.’ “It was a wonderful occurrence that we met. Cheers.” Handy dismissed cheerfully, and the mare waved at him happily before taking off.





        It had been tricky, trying to actually avoid attention. Handy managed not to encounter anypony else on his way up the hills to where his master was hiding in the trees of a pine forest starting on the northeast edge of Whitetail Wood. ‘I indeed have much to tell Master, I simply hope his wanderlust has not gotten the best of- ‘Ah! Homing beacon located. Now, to pinpoint the exact coordinates the beacon is submitting and-’ Handy was brought out of his computation process by a rather resounding thud echoing from his orb-like chassis. ‘Did someone just assault me?’

“Hey! Stupid robot! I heard you’ve been helping stupid little idiots all day, and from what I’ve heard you’re really good at a lot of things. Come with me so my daddy can reprogram you to be my butler!” Handy turned to see two little fillies, one pale pink with a diamond-studded tiara, and one gray-blue with stylish rimless glasses.

        “I’m sorry, madame, but I currently have a Master, and he has already ordered me to-”

        “I don’t care! I deserve the best, and you’re the best robot in town. Now either come with me or I’ll shut you off.” The conceited little foal demanded as she took a remote from her side like all ponies tend to do when they don’t actually have anything to store them in, silly little anomalies of logic that the creatures were.

        “Little miss, you are acting quite like a snobbish child. I will not come with you for any reason other than-” She pressed the button, and to Handy’s shock, he actually responded, but rather than turn off, he began twitching as his systems resisted the remote’s alien command for a similar, but altogether different OS to shut down, locking him into a recurring loop with his truster keeping him barely aloft.

        “Whoever put you together messed with your termlink protocol! No fair! At least I can push you back home more easily like this.” Said the pale pink pony. “Come on Silver, let’s get him home to daddy so he can register me as Miss Hoofy’s new owner.”

        “Okay, if you’re sure about this Diamond….” Silver responded hesitantly as she got behind Handy with Diamond and started pushing him back towards town.

        “Oh my, Master will not like this.” Handy’s sensors indicated that the beacon’s coordinates were getting closer, and quickly. “It seems Master is coming to retrieve me.”

        “What are you saying? That your master has a beacon attached to such a cheap model of-.”

        “RELEASE MY COMPANION, OR FACE THE WRATH OF LIBERAL DEMOCRACY!”

        At the sound of Master’s booming voice, the fillies squealed and backed away from me. “Ha! Justice! Master, the pink one has used a sort of hacking device to disable my motor functions!”

        “TASTE THE POWER OF AMERICAN JUSTICE!” Master lifted a heavy leg up, preparing to stomp the little foals into pulp, and they screeched in an unholy sharp tone before turning tail, and shitting themselves so bad they were practically propelled back towards town.





        That was hilarious! I haven’t seen something like that since I played Castle Crashers! Now then, it looks like the thief/slaver dropped the remote that was interfering with Handy’s motor functions. Setting my foot down gently, and kneeled down until I could reach the remote, and pressed some buttons by putting a huge finger to it, and Handy thankfully stopped twitching helplessly. I wonder which button-.... I broke it…. I see.

        “Thank you Master, I have much news to deliver, and a potential chance for me to upgrade my arsenal!” Oh yes, I think I could enjoy hearing about that.

        “Go on then, report Handy.” At my go ahead, he delivered a no-nonsense report, thankfully some of his military software I managed to help him install made his antics a bit easier to suffer. What I heard wasn’t good. Already it seemed they were at a point just before Earth became dependent on nuclear power, and considering the size of that dam, it might already be too late if it isn’t just a turbine dam. “Alright Handy, that’s enough. They’re doomed, and we need to do something about-”

        “Sir, I’m not finished. You told me to always finish reports since that one time I came back in disrepair.” Handy interrupted. Damn it, I did. Fucking bug bear. Still not as bad as that one time he found a nest of Ghouls trapped in an old reactor chamber.

        “Fine, continue.”

        “Thank you, sir.” Handy said before continuing. “Now, as I was scoping out the other edge of town, I came across a farmer who may be willing to house us in her barn. I have also found a programmer, and a purple mare who was willing to apply upgrades to my person for free in thanks for me aiding the townsfolk. Those three may potentially be allies for you, and may listen to your-”

        “Handy. The last time you said that, they immediately opened fire the second they saw me. I don’t trust them.” I said, reminding Handy of the last town having not only pull together every single unicorn they had, but also contacting Celestia. It was hard to control Prime’s ‘urges’ to destroy them, the innocents in town, and anything or anyone else with a nuke. Although, Handy may have been onto something. “Handy, though I don’t trust them, they trust you. If you can avoid any inconveniences like the two fillies that attempted to steal you, you may go back into town and attempt to earn their trust. Help out the Farmer, especially. If what you said is true, tell her that I’m loaning you to her for a few days in exchange for me to stay in her barn with discretion. She is not to contact me, and that I shall be in during the night. You shall report to me every night, understood?”

        “Very well, sir. Shall I go now?” Handy asked.

        “Yes, but I have one last order.” I said. “If the purple mare asks if you would like upgrades, tell her to give you a list of what she can offer. Bring the list to me tomorrow night and I shall approve which upgrades you may take. Now go. I will be in the barn late tonight. Please inform the farmer not to bother me.”

        “Very good, sir. I shall be off, now.”

> Exposure
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Getting into the barn was a lot easier done than expected. Handy simply told her that I would arrive in the night and I didn’t want to be disturbed if it was alright, since I just wanted to drop into the hay and sleep. Well that was only half true. ‘Mm...soft bales of hay for my heavy chassis.’ I APPROVE! IT IS VERY AMERICAN TO SLEEP IN HAY! Can’t argue that really.

        “I am glad that you can finally take some pressure off your joints sir, now I can do some necessary maintenance on your legs that would otherwise be too risky whilst they are being used.” Handy informed as he was about to move to my legs, but I felt why now, when he could do it later and be better at it?

        “Actually Handy, I think you getting those upgrades would be a good idea. This alicorn sounds much more on-the-level than Sunbutt, and it’s been long before I even found you that you were serviced.” I reasoned out that Handy needed some maintenance himself. He’s been taking care of me for going on several hundred years, I figure he’s long overdue for a pit stop.

        “Truly sir? If you are not comfortable with the action, then I shall abstain from interacting with the alicorn, you need not concern yourself with my welfare.” Handy tried to insist, making me wish I had eyes I could roll instead of the optics hidden behind my visor.

        “Yes, go and see what arcanotech can do for you, considering we failed to prevent its advancement. We might as well use it to our own advantage.” After several seconds, Handy bobbed in the air and moved to the barn door, exiting and closing the door behind him. ‘Now...maybe I can actually get enough peace to run sleep mode.’ DREAMING.EXE ACCESSING!

        Exhaustion as a machine is unusual, it’s more of a mental strain than anything. If AI’s go crazy for any reason, it would have to be from non-stop functioning. Damn I’m tired….





        Princess Twilight Sparkle was having a nice day. It’d been a few days since the horrible events of Our Town and the appearance of that giant ancient robot. After Dash came back from her insisted chase of the being using her Portkey, she relayed his story to her, and Twilight, ever so cautious of her beloved mentor the past year or so, decided NOT to report the sighting of Prime to the Princess, at least until she could find evidence against either party.

        And the robot she’d seen matched Rainbow’s description of the same model Prime was carrying with him, so this was a chance for her to get a third-party opinion on the situation. She was going to upgrade him either way, but hopefully with Handy’s input she’d be able to decide on a course of action.

        The sound of her silly crystal tree-palace’s giant gong range out, and she hummed in appreciation of the Chineighs version of a ceremonial bell. “That never get’s old. Spike? Where are you?” Twilight called out as she looked around her new gigantic library. It put Golden Oaks to shame in scale, and selection. And this was only the first floor! She had a library big enough to compete with the Royal Archives! Twilight giddily tittered at her fortune as her pet Owlowiscious ruffled from his perch on her personal librarian’s desk.

        Just because it was a palace didn’t mean her library was personal after all, knowledge should be shared! “I’m over here!” Spike’s voice called out from one of the catwalks lining the tall shelves and the young purple drake waved down to her. “I was in the middle of organizing the comic section by that new decimal system you heard about. Expecting company?”

        “Yes, if it’s who and what I think it is, I need you to bring Mr. Handy down to the lab.” Twilight urged. “Be polite, and completely friendly.”

        Spike blinked, and took a steadying breath. “Potentially dangerous, but also might be nice, got it.” Spike scurried down the stairs from the catwalk on his short legs as Twilight teleported down to her personal workshop, making sure the parts and tools she prepared earlier were still in place.

        “Molecular blade, check. Telekinetic hoof, check. Thaumic resonator, check. Levitation matrix to replace his primitive propulsion, check. And finally, the new live-action communications feed. They haven’t even released this for the Hoofies yet. It also comes with an optics upgrade, but I’ll have to make sure it doesn’t conflict with his current software first.” Twilight practically drooled over the comms feed, but wiped her mouth on her fetlock before she started putting on her engineering smock, which was basically a tomcoltish set of cyan coveralls that covered her from neck to tail, bunching her long tail into a sort of unsightly smaller bag for safety.

        “Ah, good evening Princess! I hope that I am not intruding upon you in this late hour.” Handy apologized as he descended the steps with Spike in the lead.

        “Not at all Mister. I hope your owner has agreed to the upgrades, it’s been a few days since I got my hooves greasy.” Twilight truthfully admitted with a hopeful smile, and Handy laughed at her enthusiasm.

        “Well, let us hope you do not get much grease in your mane madam, for master has conceded to the fact that I am in need of an update from my...tongue-in-cheek alterations.” Handy said unconvincingly, and Twilight made no indication she knew otherwise.

        “Well let’s get started, just lay on my operating table here and I’ll get started improving your arms and propulsion. And if you consent, I’ll even provide an optics and communications upgrade.” Twilight instructed, her horn sparking a bit and her wings vainly pushing out at her coveralls in anticipation.

        “Yes, let’s begin.” Handy floated to the table and proceeded to orient himself with some difficulty onto his side. “Apologies, my propulsion does not make non-vertical alignment easy.”

        “Well with the new system I’m installing, you could hover upside-down if you need to.” Twilight boasted, and levitated up some standard tools as she got up close to the robot’s base. “Okay, so if you follow the same design type as the standard Hoofies, then the manual shut-down is...there.” Twilight moved a screwdriver into a small slot at the base of Handy’s chassis, and his arms went completely limp as his eyes remained moving. “There, now I can get started in earnest.”

        First Twilight brought up the new sawblade, showing handy that rather than hooking teeth, the new blade actually looked like it was a stone-saw with how smooth and wavy the thing was. “This blade can cut through stone with ease, unlike your standard blade which looks like it’s meant for just ripping into things, this will actually cut rather than cleave and shred.”

        “Impressive, thank you.” Handy replied as Twilight went about the simple task of dismantling his saw arm’s ‘hand’ and tossed the old blade into a bin labeled ‘recycling’.

        “So, how’s your master doing?” Twilight idly asked as if it was just normal chatter while she fixed the new blade in, spinning it manually before magically supplying power to it to ensure it span at full speed without catching or cutting the rest of the assembly.

        “He has been fine. He has recently found a place to, what do the kids say these days, hang out? A place to stick around?” Handy stated. “He has only just set to settling in.”

        “Yeah, AJ’s place is a good and cozy place to crash.” Twilight casually commented, letting Handy she knew more than he originally thought as she put the assembly back together once she considered it safe. “I trust Prime’s doing well? Or does he need some parts?” Twilight asked, again as easily as if she was talking about the weather.

“Madam, I know not of whom-.”

“Please don’t underestimate me.” Twilight beamed coldly at Handy. “I’m a Princess of Equestria. I may be new to this position, but I’ve been trained by Celestia since I was a filly. Don’t worry though, I’m not going to report Prime. In fact, I want your personal view on the situation.” Twilight informed as she began completely dismantling Handy’s claw arm, readying the new hoof arm. “I’ve begun to lose faith in Celestia the past year or so. She moves too much behind the shadows, she’s lied too much for me to ignore. So take this as my little rebellious indulgence in wanting to know Prime’s, and your side of things without Prime’s bias, and without hearing a word from Celestia until afterwards if it’s fine with you two.”

“To be fair madam, I am rather bias against the Solar Dictator myself. Any opinions I have would be just as colored as my master’s.” Handy admitted, and Twilight just shrugged as she began affixing the hoof and began running remote diagnostics on it.

“Just as well. We’re going to be here for a while with the software upgrades I’ll have to put you through for your new arcanotech parts anyway. Please. Justify my distrust for the mare I consider my second mother, so I can stop feeling guilty.” Twilight pouted at Handy with watery eyes, and the robot sighed in resignation.

        “Just for reference, the start of it all I’ve only heard second-hand from Master. Apparently, the moment he awoke….”





        When my boot-up sequence interrupted my dream cycle, I knew that someone had either entered my proximity, or a set time had passed. Checking my quite-literal atomic clock, it read as being almost 5am, the earliest the sun could possibly rise. Wait...I’m on a farm, with farmers, who rise with the-oh fuck! My optics lit up, and I saw the utterly gobsmacked form of a large red stallion with sandy blond hair looking up at me, the sprig of hay that was in his mouth fell out. “...Do not be alarmed.”

        “...Applejack makes the strangest friends these days….” The stallion grumbled before moving off to the side wall, and putting a wood yoke hanging from it around his neck, and he trotted back to the door before turning his head to me. “Jus’ don’t git oil in the hay.” Then he left.

        That was it.

        ….

        Ponies have really gotten some serious cajones in the past 90 years. Also, what the hell?! I thought I told Handy to tell them I didn’t want to be dis-! “Sorry ‘bout that!” I heard a mare call into the barn from the cracked open door just before it fully closed. “Dang it Big Mac do ya ever listen?! Ah promised ‘im we wouldn’t bother ‘im!”

        “AJ I needed mah yoke. Ya know hitchin’ the plow without it’s a pain.”

        “Well it don’t change that ya was rude jus’ now!” The mare hollered at the stallion as they left the area of the barn.

        I honestly don’t know how to feel about this. AMERICAN! Thank you Prime, again, I agree, that was way too American an attitude about something like me. He should’ve panicked! He should’ve run for the hills, or for the Guard, but instead he dismissed me like I was just another robot. Did Sunbutt lift the bounty on me or something? Was the public ignorant of my existence somehow?

        “HI!” Suddenly, a mass of pink was right up in my visor, and I shouted out in shock as I violently jolted back into the giant pile of hay I was using as a chair, but the pink monstrosity wasn’t even fazed. “I’m Pinkie Pie, and my sources told me somepony new was in town, but your IP wasn’t a tracker chip, so I kept it hush-hush from the my superiors and masked it. It’s all good!”

        “The absolute hell. Who are you? And why is that farmer so bad at keeping people out of her own barn?!” I questioned from the newest intruder.

        “AJ’s door lock’s been broken for ages, and she keeps forgetting with all the work she does.” Pinkie beamed up at me, somehow climbing up onto the top of my head, which damn-it, wasn't mobile enough to shake her off. So now it was like I was wearing a pony like a coon hat. Pfft, actually, that’s hilariousLY AMERICAN! “So Prime, you almost got picked up by the Guard just from your proximity to the town’s signal blanket. I scrubbed you out though, so you won’t be picked up by anypony but me now! You were lucky my ears are the first to hear, my eyes the first to see, and my lips the first, or last, to speak.” She then nuzzled the top of my head, and I just wasn’t sure how to feel about this.

        “So...how did you know I was here again? You mentioned a signal blanket?” ‘That’s bad, REALLY bad. That means they would’ve known Handy and I were here the moment we entered range.

        “I already told you silly. I’m the one who sees and hears first. And it wasn’t hard to figure out. A new robot with a mysterious master, one that doesn’t use the same exact model as the others, wanders around town, helping ponies out of nowhere, displaying AI way better than anything we can program right now?” Pinkie pointed out as she tapped his head with a forehoof. “You’re not exactly normal. No robots out right now can kill or even hurt ponies. At least not that I know of. So combine the advanced ‘Hoofie’ with the description Dashie gave about the little robot you carried, and it was simple deduction.”

        “All too simple really.” Came another voice and my vision shot down to the front door to see the purple alicorn standing in the barn with Handy, very visibly upgraded, floating next to her. “Even if I didn’t bother with asking Handy myself, I knew you were nearby just from his appearance in town. Hopefully the new upgrades I gave Handy will let you see exactly what Handy’s up to so you can also communicate over long distances.”

        “I am sorry for my incompetence master….” Handy apologized as his new arms all wilted down towards the floor, which he now easily and smoothly floated over with his new self-levitating matrix, but he still had a dumbed-down version of his old rocket on a pivot joint I guess for speed boosts.

        “I swear, next thing I know, Celestia’s going to barge in and screw me over.” I said sarcastically.

        “Oh don’t worry, she has NO clue...her sister though….” Twilight hinted as she knocked on the door with her hind hoof, and another alicorn I was completely unfamiliar with carefully poked her head in, her dark blue fur almost blending her into the shadows of the barn.

        “Is he docile Twilight Sparkle?” The mare asked nervously, and Twilight gestured gently for the larger mare to enter, and if she were white and just a bit taller, she’d be a shoe-in for Sunbutt’s twin, only she had moons on her flanks. “We know thou trust us friend Sparkle, but we are still wary of all this new technology that has arisen since our banishment.”

        “Who the hell is she?” I asked, honestly curious of the new alicorn. “Since when is there three alicorns? Last time I checked, Celestia was the only one.”

        “So Prime, from what I’ve gathered, you appeared about 900 years ago. That’s easily a century off from when Princess Luna here was banished to the moon. She’s Princess Celestia’s younger sister-”

        “And you brought her here?!” I yelled. “How is that a good idea?! She is the direct link to her sister and Celestia fucking hates me!”

        “We are NOT our sister!” Luna shouted imperiously, her voice equally rivalling mine and reminding me too much of Sunbutt. Definitely a sibling. “We may find issue with your actions, but from all sources we have thus far, your actions were not of your own doing, or were in self-defence. Certainly we too would have attacked thee had we been at your first sighting and saw Tall Tale leveled, but we would have tried to at least hear your side of things. We hath had no clue of these ancient ruins, it would seem Sister found them after our banishment, so all things of technology we are completely new to as of the past few years. We are more curious and wary rather than fearful.”

        “Well, it seems that Equestria lost a gem during your banishment.” I said, glad that she wasn’t about to go and rat me out to Celestia. “I’m glad to have you as a potential ally. In fact, I’m just glad to know ponies that aren’t going to rat me out to Celestia first chance they get.”

        “We especially have had reason to question our sister’s behavior. She’s always off preparing something ‘important’ or overseeing something’s ‘progress’, or something she really ought not to be doing when she could be seeing to the common ponies, which she foisted upon us the moment we were well enough to hold court for her. The fact we’re even here is because we called today’s court off at the behest of our dear friend Twilight Sparkle.” Luna explained worrisomely. “And the way she’s taken to policing our ponies, putting chips in them? We feel she has gone too far.”

        “Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. They may be more likely to go to Heaven yet at the same time likelier to make a Hell of earth. This very kindness stings with intolerable insult. To be "cured" against one's will and cured of states which we may not regard as disease is to be put on a level of those who have not yet reached the age of reason or those who never will; to be classed with infants, imbeciles, and domestic animals.” I recited perfectly. “C. S. Lewis, from his work God in the Dock: Essays on Theology.” SUCH DEMOCRACY! Very.

        My audience was frozen, looking at me agape. “Wowie zowie! I never thought of it like that!” Pinkie stated, rubbing the back of her neck worriedly. “I have a chip too...but me being here isn’t that strange.”

        “W-we have no chip. We refused when the royal physician tried to get our approval to be ‘chipped’.” Luna glowered. “Thou has given us much to consider….” Luna mused as she turned to leave. “We shall not report thee to sister, nor mention thy return at all since none of Sparkle’s friends nor herself have reported thee. Hopefully we can use our delving in the archives as an excuse to ‘happen’ upon information of thou, see how she reacts.” Luna nodded and left, Twilight still looking quite stunned.

        “I’m kinda glad my ascension destroyed my old body now...I was given a whole suite of tracking devices, ‘for my safety’ the Princess said….” Twilight leered down at the floor. “I need to talk to my sister-in-law and my brother about this. The fact the nobles have been losing power in the court for centuries has just come to mind as a blatant sign of Celestia becoming more a Queen than a Princess. You know what they say about power.” Twilight then nodded up to Pinkie and teleported away, the pink earth pony on my head suddenly vanishing from my sensors in a fashion I could not identify beings she wasn’t teleported by the purple one, leaving me alone in the closed barn with Handy.

        “Sir, ponies today are quite intelligent. Only upon hearing our story and actually listening have we happened upon a potentially powerful alliance.” Handy recapped rather effectively.

        “I see. So, let me get this straight, all of them sans Princess Luna are chipped with some sort of tracking device. Mind telling me what the hell it does? It doesn’t report sound, does it?” I asked Handy, beings everypony was gone suddenly.

        “From what I have been told by Sparkle, yes. At close ranges, and only by blatant patrol ‘Spritebots’ that act as both eyes, ears, and signal boosters as well as portable ‘radios’ when clearly they also record and report everything they see or hear. I saw a couple in town, but my only concern is they might report I do not have an IFF on their radar.” Handy reported, and not for the first time I wish I could raise a hand to my chin to rub it in thought.

        “So, they spy on their own people.” COMMIES! Yes Prime, this is officially a full-on Communist scenario. WE MUST LIBERATE THE SMALL EQUINES! We can’t just march up to that big city on the mountain and depose the Queen. WITH ALLIES WE CAN! Good point…. “Handy, now that you can blend in a bit better, we’re going to lay low for a while, see if we can’t get this alliance with Sparkle and Luna to pan out. Then, if things go well...WE WILL MARCH RIGHT INTO HER THRONE ROOM, AND WATCH AS JUSTICE IS SERVED! In the meantime I’ll have to scout out the region itself, see how much room I have to move.”

        “Aye sir!” A loud crash of wood and a snapping sound like a strap going out was heard, followed by a stallion’s cursing. “That sounds like Big Macintosh! It would seem from audio examination that the straps of his plow have given out. Shall I render aid?”

        “Yes, continue assisting the Apples as needed.” I said. “I did tell you to tell them that lending your aid was my ‘payment’ after all.”

        “Aye sir! I shall aid Macintosh and then see to blending in and finding things out as usual.” Handy silently hovered to the door, and the drill-like appendage on the end of one of his arms shimmered yellow, and the door opened in a aura of magic, before he exited and closed the door the same way.

        “Arcanotech...I need to upgrade.” AFFIRMATIVE!

> The Solar Tyrant
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        “...And that is all that I have to say your Highness.” A saddlebag wearing yellow pegasus stated with a bow to Celestia, who, for the first time in years, was holding court instead of her sister.

        “Hm...I see how that is serious. Are you certain the Cloudsdale Guard are abusing their power? Do you bring proof?” Celestia asked worriedly, and the pegasus produced some photographs from his saddlebags, which Celestia used her magic to bring to her and looked them over, and leered at the very blatant proof of guards oppressing other ponies, even if the shots were from odd angles, they had to be taken as such considering the secluded locations said events were happening. “I thank you Bright Plume, worry not, I’ll tell nopony who gave me this information, but if you wish I will assign some of my personal guards for your safety.”

        “No need your Majesty, I am confident that you will see to it that justice is done. If it is fine, I will take my leave?” The yellow pegasus asked, and Celestia nodded to him, the stallion seeming to lose all the weight off his back as he trotted back out of the room, and Celestia gestured one of her guards to come closer.

        “Take these, give them to a pegasus Inquisitor, and assign some thestrals to tail Bright Plume to ensure nopony hurts him.” Celestia whispered, and the unicorn nodded before storing the photos in his armor’s satchel, and teleporting away. “The next petitioner may enter.” At Celestia’s words, the doors were opened again, and a gray smiling face entered, only to turn into a look of confusion.

        “Oh, Princess Celestia? Where is Princess Luna?” The gray and white stallion asked as he entered comfortably, making Celestia smile. It was a common question this day, ponies asking where her sister was. It made her so happy Her Little Ponies were so at ease with her sister after years of her running the court while she ran the day-to-day things her sister often did so long ago.

        ‘Oh Luna, how wonderful it is that you are accepted, and now maybe ponies even see you more as their Princess than me.’ “She is taking a day off, visiting our friend Princess Twilight in Ponyville. I was more than happy to cover for her so she could see her friend. Now who might you be My Little Pony? You seem to be a regular visitor of my sister.” Celestia teased with a knowing grin, making the admittedly cute stallion blush and bashfully rub the back of his head.

        “Oh Princess, I am but a humble masseur of the local spa. I have only had the joy of easing the tension from Princess Luna twice.” The stallion stated, only for his face to light up even more as Celestia quietly tittered to herself. “N-not in that way!”

        “Oh but good sir, I’ll have you know my sister is a wing-mare, and your wings are quite to her liking~.” Celestia lilted, getting the stallion’s large feathered wings to shift as he was extremely embarrassed by the elder sister. “In fact, I’ve noticed that most of my petitioners today have all been stallions, pegasi or thestrals, and most of them have big wings. Is my sister courting at court?” Celestia teased even more, and the poor stallion looked like he wanted to vanish on the spot. “Oh, forgive me, it has been ages since I’ve nosed-in on my sister’s life. Tell me your name good sir.”

        “I-I am Firm Feather your Majesty.” The stallion said nervously, his blue eyes not willing to look up at the mare and his face still flushed much to Celestia’s amusement.

        “Well then Firm Feather, did you come today with the intent of merely chatting my sister up? Or is there something I must know?” Celestia decided to stop tormenting the poor buck, he might very well have a problem.

        “Y-yes, there is. There are nobles who have started buying-out much of Under Town’s real-estate, and charging exorbitant prices for anypony to live or use these buildings, prices nopony down there can afford.” Firm informed the Solar Diarch who looked quite upset, as Under Town was more-or-less a well-kept slum that the ponies with average or below income could live safely like the rest of Canterlot.

        “But I instated that nopony with a certain credit score can muscle-out the less fortunate, how is this possible?” Celestia balked as she summoned a scroll with her magic and unrolled it to skim over it. “How...I thought I was iron-clad in my restrictions on Under Town’s credit limit so nopony more privileged could do these things to the poorer ponies, have you any idea Firm Feather?”

        “Well...not really. I know they use a liaison though, a mousy little mare named Farsight that nopony really has the courage to say no to. She’s just...different.” Firm insisted. “Once she purchases a property, suddenly the deed ends up in a seemingly random noble’s hooves, and then the property becomes barred from the public, and the pony’s more frivolous items are practically put on display, with personal guards, as if tempting the poor and taunting all of us.”

        “...I...I see….” ‘No...I thought the Chips were perfect! They’re supposed to record everything, personal information, banking details, credit score, medical data, everything! How is this Farsight mare bypassing the checks? And what’s more, how did she know of that loophole when I didn’t?!’ Celestia fretted as she looked over the scroll on Under Town’s list of instated credit and savings limits to keep the rich out and also help the poor become less so and eventually move to a better area. ‘There is nothing against a pony selling their home, but I can’t take that away! And there’s no way to prove that Farsight is somehow jailbreaking her Chip without catching her, but she hasn’t done anything to incriminate her….’

        “Princess?” Firm was worried, he’d never heard of seeing a Princess look worried, as in genuinely scared about something.

        “I will buy back these properties, and release them to the public, and add clauses that prevent more well-off ponies from owning property in Under Town at all. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Is that all Firm Feather?” Celestia asked cordially, and the stallion bowed to her before leaving with a smile like he came in with. ‘I’ll have to have this mare found, immediately. But what if Farsight is an assumed name? If she truly has found a way to jailbreak her own chip, she could change her legal name at any moment! Regardless, nopony is allowed to hurt My Little Ponies in any way.’

‘Nopony….’





Court was done for the day, oh Faust had she forgotten how long court was. It took up half the day! No wonder she was always so stressed with Luna gone, doing this all by herself, even with assistants and robotic aids later on was such a grind, but with Luna handling the more public issues, life had gotten easier. Especially with her sister’s mercurial personality and blunt political tactics making everypony feel at ease with knowing she would protect and help them with no ultimatum.

Celestia was quicking writing up new clauses in the restrictions on Under Town, which was built into the cliff’s sides all around Canterlot, and even extended into the formerly dangerous Crystal Caves which robotic workers constantly excavated, which was both profitable, and cost no lives, even if the number of wrecked robots was disturbing, like the caves were haunted and trying to kill any who disturbed the crystals.

But once an area was excavated and then stabilized, the caves were just as safe as anywhere else, and buildings were erected to expand Under Town, which she hoped despite it’s restrictions against the rich, would become just as wonderful a place as Canterlot itself, considering the ponies there can trot through a cave practically made of crystal at their whim, so long as they are in the safe zones anyhow, and since the crystals had their own unique luminescence, light wasn’t an issue either.

The only reason the ponies and anyone else who lived in Under Town weren’t allowed to mine was because of the stated dangers of the caves. Certainly there was plenty of uproar about that, but when the ponies saw the robots being destroyed by bizarre and ridiculously unlikely circumstances, they all preferred living to dying quite reasonably. Those who lived in the caves were safe though, it seemed whatever force haunted the cavern saw no issue with residing there, only disturbing the crystal.

“Princess.” Celestia looked up from some scrolls to see one of her Inquisitors standing before her desk, she blinked, mildly surprised, but then again her Inquisitors were dangerous, some of the stealthiest ponies in the country.

“Yes?” ‘I wonder who it is...under those black robes and armor I can never tell who it is thanks to the enchantments making them have the same voice, like my regular guards.’

“We have some disturbing reports from a frontier town named Oatington that the locals refer to as ‘Our Town’.” The artificial black aura that summoned some items out of thin air meant nothing towards the stallion’s identity, since Arcanotech allowed pegasi and earth ponies to use spells like that just as well, if harder to learn.

        “A giant metal ‘golem’ has been spotted. It killed one of the townsfolk that had been oppressing the town as a whole, stealing Cutie Marks.” A second Inquisitor was suddenly next to the first, making Celestia jump slightly. She’d never get used to her military’s cloaking technology that Trixie mare helped develop. It was only in it’s testing phase, but the results spoke for themselves.

        “Wasn’t that what was set as the penalty for doing such a thing, anyways?” Celestia asked, only to remember the slightly seemingly less-important part of the report, and her eyes widened. “What did you say?”

        “A giant. Metal. ‘Golem’.” A THIRD stallion intoned, and Celestia’s pupils shrank.

        “No...no! I destroyed him 90 years ago! I blasted at least half his chassis away! He may have limped off, but there’s no chance even an auto-repair feature could have restored him!” Celestia bolted up from her seat, and turned to look out at the expanse of western Equestria in worry, her sight from here extending several dozen miles due to height and clearance. “Is there anything else?”

        “Just that he spoke very loudly, like he had the Royal Canterlot Tone, and he screamed about Democracy.” The three intoned together, oh, it was the Triplets. Made sense.

        “Then he’s back...tell nopony, if he’s not been reported by more public sources, then he’s in hiding. No need to worry the masses that a giant machine bent on their deaths is once again on the loose. Once I had assumed he’d offlined quietly, I felt it best to leave sleeping dogs lie. Oh what a mistake.” Celestia growled to herself, her mane and tail flickering like fire.

        “Then is Project Titan back on Princess?” One of the three siblings asked.

        “Yes. Tell Doctor Horse I’m resuming funding.” With that, her office was empty again, and she glared hatefully off into the distance. “This time, I will not let you go….”





        It was dinner time, after the grim news, Celestia ordered a soothing bath and massage to help her calm down, there was no need to alarm her sister to the danger, she didn’t want her to worry about something that her big sister needed to take care of herself. It was her mistake, her mess, she wouldn’t let her have any of that burden.

        “...And then she introduced me to something called a ‘gong’ from Chineigh! We must travel again sister, the world is so much different even elsewhere! Why don’t we have a ceremonial gong for the court?” Luna suddenly excitedly asked over her meal of spiced cockatrice and side-salad, her sister’s omnivorous tastes not bothering her one bit, but disgusting the chefs even after years of preparing the meals to perfection.

        “We can have a gong if you really want one Luna.” Celestia acquiesced, she hadn’t even left the country in decades, so maybe, once Prime was dealt with, she could take an actual vacation with her sister, leave Twilight in charge as Regent. ‘Hm...sound plan...give her more ruling experience.’ Celestia put a slice of Tres Leche cake into her mouth, moaning in joy at the wet, flavorful cake.

        “Sister, again with the cake? Haven’t I warned you that your flanks are getting wide?” Luna chastised as she bit into a tomato. Ponies way back when, to non-alicorns at least, were deathly allergic to tomatoes, but with time and carefully administering it into their systems ponies adapted to it so they could enjoy it along with many other fruits.

        “Oh hush Lulu, it just means I have the biggest plot that’s hot to trot in Canterlot.” Celestia grinned cheekily, making Luna blush at again being teased for her flank envy.

        “We shall not devolve into our conflicting preferences again sister. Simply because I am svelte and athletic is no excuse to let yourself go.” Luna leered, making Celestia grin in continued victory. Everypony knew that stallions liked big plots, and Luna did not have a big plot at all. Nightmare did, but Celestia just knew that was because of Luna’s flank envy.

        “Luna~! You could have these juicy flanks too if you indulged~!” Celestia trolled as she stood up and started shaking her plot at her sister, who buried her face in her hooves. “Oh come off it sister, just have one slice, just one slice.” Celestia egged as she levitated her plate to her sister.

        “No! We refuse to get fat!” Luna squeaked as she ran away from the wet pastry, and Celestia laughed uproariously as she gave chase around the grand dining table, cake at the ready.

        “Prepare thine plot!” Celestia shouted, having heard enough slang and otherwise ridiculous things in her long life as she prepared to force feed her fleeing sister, who had started giggling.

        “No! Mine plot is svelte and beautiful~!” Luna cheesed, only for a piece of cake to be shoved into her mouth as she wasn’t looking forward, and she stopped dead to enjoy it. “Mm...this is really good. Who knew wet cake was possible?”

        “Apparently the donkeys of Jaxico.” Celestia informed as she offered Luna a proper serving of cake, and again her sister rolled her eyes and accepted. For years since her return, Luna had to face the fact that the modern definition of beauty had changed from thin and athletic to shapely and sensuous. Certainly ponies still found her runner’s definition to their liking, but it was also obvious so many more preferred her sister’s matronly form.

        Even the athletic ponies had such a curvy form to them. The mares Spitfire and Rainbow Dash being perfect examples of being tough with muscle, but curved with just the right amount of fat. And sadly, Luna’s preferred big-winged stallions all had such a preference, considering she’d outright asked several who had attended her court, for adapting to the modern age of course! “So sister, before we retire for bed, I have a query.” Luna suddenly stated as they returned to their seats at the large table, the servants having paid no mind to their antics from before, it was very common.

        “Ask Luna, you know you can ask me anything.” Celestia insisted as she scooped up a plate that had original recipe flan with a twinkle in her eye.

        “Might you know of an automaton by name of Liberty Prime?” At Luna’s question, Celestia dropped the plate of pudding so suddenly it shattered on the table, and she was frozen like a deer caught in the lights of a vehicle. “S-sister?”

        “...Everypony out.” Celestia quietly demanded, and the servants all rushed to leave the room, knowing that tone was one that threatened genuine punishment. After the last servant was gone, Celestia slammed the doors shut and locked them with her magic, adding a sound barrier. “Where did you learn that name?” Celestia demanded of her sister with heat, and Luna wilted away from her burning gaze.

        “I-in the Archives! It was buried, but we spotted some old newspapers detailing a great machine by name of Liberty Prime. It sounded quite serious an issue, so I had wondered if you knew more….” Luna timidly informed. One of the few things Luna feared was her own sister, and right now, she was reminded of the old days, when her sister was an even scarier firebrand than she.

        “Is that so?” ‘Damn, I had thought I erased all knowledge of Prime from anywhere. I didn’t want ponies to needlessly fear technology like they did for several decades after his initial appearance. It seems I need to have some Inquisitors scour the Archives again.’ “So what did you think of him sister? From the information you may have gathered?”

        “O-oh, um, it was just detailing that he and you clashed, so I had indeed assumed you would know more. I am sorry if it’s a sore subject sister….” Luna wilted again, only for Celestia to sigh and take a calming breath.

        “I’m sorry Luna, yes, it is a serious subject for me. He killed an entire town, Tall Tale, and ever since, he’s been a regular thorn in my side for over 900 years. At least, until I defeated him at last 90 years ago. Since then I have tried to erase all evidence of him, so Our Little Ponies don’t fear technology needlessly. What they should fear are what created him, the Old World. These things, things I have taken to calling Old World Abominations are just that; abominations. Prime was one such being, a monster created to slaughter. I have been dealing with them personally shortly after...the Incident….” Celestia gently hinted at, and Luna now knew her sister had been involved in things such as Prime for possibly nearing 1000 years.

        “I see. Thank you sister. I apologize for bringing up something so painful. I shall keep quiet so as not to worry our subjects.” Luna smiled softly before she finished her meal and excused herself for bed, for even though she too slept, she had work to do in the dream realm.

        Celestia watched her sister leave, and narrowed her eyes. “Inquisitor.”

        “Yes, your Majesty?” The black cloaked and armored mare that suddenly appeared kneeling a short distance behind Celestia asked.

        “Keep an eye on my sister. I don’t want her nosing into something she shouldn’t. Let me know if she gets too deep so I know when to bring her into the fold before she causes any damage.” Celestia groused, and the Inquisitor vanished without a word. ‘Damn it Luna. I didn’t want you to get involved in this.’ Celestia sighed and looked at her shattered plate of pudding, it resembling so much of her life she forlornly desired to be free of after so many centuries of secrecy and shadowy dealings. ‘No matter. With current technology, and Doctor Horse on it, Project Titan will ensure the safety of my ponies, and then I can start to reveal the truth to them, of the Old World our current one is built upon the foundations of, of the evils of the past turned to righteous endeavors.’

        She then looked out the bay window into the early night, her thousand-yard stare searching for a lumbering monstrosity that wasn’t there. ‘Then, then it won’t be just me between My Little Ponies and things like him, like all his kind.’ The clouds over the moon moved aside, and cast a shadow, Celestia spread her wings, but the shadow showed the veined and hooked wings of a demon. ‘I will be a devil if it means protecting My Little Ponies.’ Celestia removed her peytral, and looked forlornly at the number engraved into the center of the interior, where it rested over her heart.

        87

        ‘Because sometimes, the evils of the past, can create hope for the future….’

> Remnants of the Old World
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        It was nice, being awake. Not much happens when you’re in sleep mode. Sure, digital fantasies the like of Tron and all that, but I prefer being awake and therefore; as alive as I can be considering I’m made of metals, plastics and oils instead of flesh, bone, and blood. For instance; the area. I was in such a desperate flight from Sunbutt and her legions of loyal lackies that I didn’t take in the scenery back then.

        For all this consideration, I left the barn under the cover of night, planning to return the next night or at least later in the week, Handy can handle himself for a while. Besides, the forests around Ponyville had my interest for more than idle curiosity. For this scouting mission, I decided to more thoroughly explore Whitetail Wood within a hundred miles of Ponyville. Certainly a lot of ground to cover but with my strides, that was easily doable within a night of consistent motion.

        Anyhow, considering the 90-year gap, I wondered just how much the forest had grown since then, or how much it might have even receded given the cold wetland feeling the region I was traipsing through possessed. ‘The fact that these pines can grow as tall as me is just astounding. Back home, only redwoods grew this tall.’ YOUR CURRENT DISPOSITION IS QUITE PATRIOTIC. Could you not ruin my musings with your damn patriotism checks right now? NEGATIVE. Well, at least keep it down. AFFIRMATIVE. Sadly, I know you’re actually trying.

        So caught up in my supposed ‘software maintenance’, I didn’t notice the small sinkhole in front of me until my alerts lit up far too late, and I rapidly found myself falling a few hundred feet into a cavern, landing harshly and falling to a kneel on impact, alerts informing me several parts serving as ‘ligaments’ in my joints had broken from the impact, and I wasn’t going to be able to stand with that. ‘Damn it...I swear, I’m always falling apart. And it's always when Handy's not around. what did I even fall into, anyways?'

I took a moment to look around, the only hints of where I was now being the rusted and dented metal that made up the floor, walls, and damaged ceiling. This must have been an Old World bunker, and based on the amount of charred, blackened skeletons, or lack thereof, this was one that was under construction from before the war. If I was lucky, maybe I could find a friendly robot that might be able to do repairs on my damaged body.

NEARBY UNIT DETECTED! ‘Oh thank you Prime, one of your useful moments.’ I followed the sudden HUD indicators, and found a half-broken Mister Handy within arm’s length that made me mentally cringe. ‘Ugh...it’ll work until I can either fix myself or find a better body.’ PREPARING TERTIARY AI TRANSFER!

I reached out, thankfully not falling over from my kneeling position, and grabbed the two-armed Handy unit that only had its claw and saw arms. Transferring myself to other chassis had become a quickly learned and necessary skill early on when Handy alone wasn’t enough to keep me working, or I had to enter places too small for me, which was often, while Prime himself maintained vigil in our shared body.

“PREPARING FOR TRANSFER!” Prime shouted as a cable popped out of my right palm, and Prime deftly moved the plug to the back of the Handy unit. “TRANSFERRING!”

‘Could you NOT be so loud about this all the time?!’ I mean, seriously, Prime loved these periods of time apart, but damn it, he didn’t have to be extra loud about it! Oh~...whoa. Been a while. Forgot what having three separate optics moving independently was like. Sure, Prime had the single optic and a Sensors 46 array that allowed near 360 degree awareness, but that was from a single focal point, having multiple eyes was always a hassle. For instance, I’m seeing Prime, a corner of the room, and the roof all at once, from three different perspectives. Very disorienting.

“TRANSFER COMPLETE! I WILL STAND GUARD UNTIL YOU RETURN!” Prime, like the simple combat AI he was, tried to stand only for his legs to whine and do nothing. “FATAL ERROR! LEGS DAMAGED! SUGGESTED ACTION-!”

“Shut up! I know damn it!” I shouted with the English accent of the Handy unit’s voice box. “It’s why I’m bloody well taking the effort to transfer you dolt! Now let me go so I can either start repairs or find a better chassis to do it with!”

“AFFIRMATIVE.” Prime said, releasing me and beginning to scan the immediate area.

“And stop being so bloody loud! We don’t want the Bitch of the Sun to hear us!” I snarked, and mentally groaning at knowing his response.

“SENSORS INDICATE LIKELIHOOD OF THAT OCCURRING: ZERO PERCENT!” So. Damn. Predictable.

“It’ll increase if you keep blighting yelling, you moron!” I managed not to say ‘bloody’ again, but still got near it. Handy’s and their damn English-based swears.

“UNDERSTOOD! LOWering volume.” Finally, it won’t last though.

“Just...stay, there. Don’t, move. And do not. I absolutely will glitch if you do. But Do. Not. SHOOT! Anything! For ANY reason! No weapon’s checks!” Prime’s baser programming was stringent on maintaining his combat efficiency, to the point he almost collapsed the entrance of a bunker I entered once, dolt.

“Weapons check is still scheduled in thirty-.”

“NO WEAPONS CHECKS!” I shouted, psychosomatically taking rapid breaths. Even after 900 years I pantomimed the sounds at least to remind me I’m alive. “Just. Sit. There.”

“Affirmative. Delaying weapons check.” Prime stated before turning his head to the right. “Friendly heavy chassis located further within bunker.”

“... You’re telling me I have to run through this fucking MAZE of a vault to find shit?!” ‘Oh shit, just realized what I said….’ My optics moved over a giant gear-shaped door, and I would’ve pissed myself if I could at reading the number.... Vault 122.

‘Oh man...if I remember my wiki days, then 122...was a small vault, intended to make mutants...eugh...I hope they’re all dead, I’m not exactly outfitted for any real combat.’ I sighed as I approached the door controls, the thing was rusted from exposure to that sinkhole overhead letting in rain and whatnot that had pooled in the bottom of the cavern, and I hoped it would open as my claw pushed the lever up.

Thankfully, I was rewarded/punished with the loud blaring sirens warning people to back away from the door as it suddenly jerked inward, and rolled out of the way, but promptly crashed and fell on the other side as the door mechanism broke, causing a small explosion and a tremendous amount of noise of giant metal gear-door on metal.

“LOUD NOISE REGISTERED! ON ALERT!” Good idea Prime, whatever might be inside definitely heard that….





        Handy was concerned. Not that it was an uncommon occurrence, but he was concerned nonetheless at the sight of the empty barn interior. “Oh dear, it would seem Master has decided to go off on his own again. I do hope he isn’t getting into trouble.” A small, masked alert signal on a private channel immediately dashed Handy’s hopes that his Master was in good shape. “Why must I be programmed with the knowledge of how ironic this is?”

        “How ironic what is?” Applejack asked as she trotted up to the enhanced Handy, and looked inside. “Well...that’s a right compressed pile of hay. Guess we got more room to put some more in then, thanks to whatever yer owner did.”

        “Oh he’s just prone to...evening things out. Twas nothing since he’s more comfortable with the act more than the result.” ‘Right, need to keep cautious of Applejack. She doesn’t seem the type to be able to keep a secret.’

        “Well then, Ah hope ya don’t mind me and Bloom getting some more hay in then. Tell yer owner Ah appreciate it, the fields are getting a bit high.” Applejack said as she trotted towards the hay fields. The Acres apparently only had the orchards near the Everfree, the east end of the farm was for other produce, often leased out to other ponies in town who needed space to plant. The Apples in return helped distribute product and give the ponies their share of the profits, it was a rather honest and fair setup for all involved to Handy’s opinion, a Farmer’s Union so to speak.

        “Very well, madame. I do hope you can manage on your own. My master seems to be calling me.” Handy informed, only to turn around and freeze at the cyan pegasus blocking his way, leering at him with a raised eyebrow. “Pardon me madame, but-.”

        “Don’t madame me bot-boy. I’ve had my eyes on you, and I haven’t seen your so-called master since you got into town, and as the Weather Captain, that’s extremely weird.” The rainbow-maned mare said accusingly, getting Handy to mentally curse.

        “Yes, and? He likes to travel at night, when others are asleep?” Handy tried to half-explain, half-lie. “He really doesn’t like being seen. I’m not sure why, myself. I do know however that he knows an invisibility spell, and likes to-”

        “Bull, Stealth-Buck tech is still military exclusive and only a few eggheads can use that spell, I doubt your boss can do something like that. Besides, you’ve been buddy-buddy with my friends and I’m not about to just let some mysterious third party nose-in on VIPs.” The mare glared, her wings flared out imposingly.

        “But he can, miss. And he has no intention on doing anything with your friends. He’s just a reclusive traveler, I’m not sure how I can-”

        “You think I don’t hear things? I’m not Pinkie, but I know she and Twi are in on your little secret. Pinkie can’t stop jittering around like there’s a constant Doozy on the horizon, and I haven’t seen Twilight this excited with her tinkering in months. So spill. I won’t inform any officials if it doesn’t harm my friends or innocent ponies.” Rainbow Dash swore, and Handy looked around for a moment.

        “What does the name Liberty mean to you?” ‘I hope I’m not making a mistake-.’

        “Wait, hold up. Prime? Oh, nevermind. You’re cool.” Rainbow did a total 180, grinning. “Should’ve just said so. Met him earlier. Okay robot I guess.”

        “Oh, thank goodness. Another ally. We seem to have a lot of those lately.” Handy mused, considering how good their luck in that department was, he could only wonder what sort of misfortune he and Prime were in for soon enough. “Regardless, I must go. Prime is damaged and since he doesn’t have my superior mechanical expertise, he’d take ages to fix himself.”

        “Whoa, hold on, let’s go get Twi then. She’ll help fix him right up.” Rainbow grabbed Handy in her forelegs and took off, her impressive wingpower easily tugging the lighter-than-before robot through the air much to Handy’s surprise. “Wow you’re light! Twi did a great job on the feather enchantments for you.”

        “Oh good, perhaps she can put some on Prime too. Heaven knows he could use some of the strain taken off his now-broken legs.” Handy grumbled, but was enthused at the thought of somepony as skilled as Princess Twilight helping fix and perhaps upgrade his master’s bothersome chassis.





        ‘Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, SO MUCH NOPE!’ Prime panicked in his head as he swiftly hovered away from the screaming and wailing MONSTROSITY that gave chase down a long hall of the vault. The horrible THING looked to be a mangled corpse of a black Pegasus with red eyes, but with one wing, and appeared to be falling apart, like as if it was an old style zombie, but the fact that it had FEET instead of hooves was just...eugh! WHAT were those sick fucks DOING to these people?! The fact it had tentacles made of what seemed to be it’s intestines didn’t help my revulsion!

        Most of the inhabitants of the vault were like the necrotic mare giving chase, but many of them were far-gone, gazing off into nothing, drooling, unable to die for whatever godforsaken reason. The others were like the crazy bitch chasing me, but were more content to wail on each other when they encountered thank gog, this one happened to be an odd one out that hadn’t chosen another partner to wail on.

        But then there were the special ones, ones, disturbingly akin to modern pegasi that seemed like a somewhat failed fusion between a pony and an eagle with the big wings and equine body all lumpy from whatever caused the humans that once resided here to be transformed into these disgusting mockeries of ponykind. They were still in possession of their faculties, and stayed away from the crazies like the one chasing me. “Slow down! You’re going to break something!” Then again, some of them were delusional. “Stop being so loud consarn it!”

        “In here!” I heard a male voice call, and I saw one of the cognizant members of the vault waving me towards his doorway with a chipped hoof, and I promptly complied and he slammed the hydraulic door in the madmare’s face, giving a satisfying thud as she ran right into it. “Sorry about that. Cindy went feral a few centuries back.”

        “Well how-dee-frickin-doo! Kinda figured that one out einstein!” I snarked, focusing my optics on the pony/eagle thing. This stallion actually had a talon instead of a hoof on his forward right foreleg, but the rest of his green-furred body was equine save the brown wings of course. He was surprisingly intact compared to most of the others, save that he had brown plumage for a mane and tail feathers instead of a pony tail. “Sorry if I’m agitated, I tend to get pissy when I’m running for my life from Old World Abominations…. Hold up. Who the hell are-”

        “I’m James Morrison. Friends called me non-mutie. Then again, I’m sure as hell mutated now. Heh.” Holy shit, it’s James Morrison! But what’s he doing here?

        “Hey, you seem to have all your faculties, why’re you still here?” I asked, it felt like a good question for the brown-eyed stallion who sighed and ruffled his feathers.

        “Door was broken after I came back inside for more supplies for my sick daughter who was among the first the bastards who ran this vault mutated. Killed the paranoid idiot who did that, and to my daughter. Got stuck in here, nobody knew how to fix the door and I ended up finding the source of the “pony mutant” projects deep down in the vault. In the end, made a few friends with some of them, then got mutated when I had to run from one of the ferals and got trapped in one of the still somewhat active ‘incubation’ rooms.” Morrison explained. “It’s a sad story, but it’s mine. So, mind explaining what a Mr. Handy is doing here? And active of all things, speaking like as if they’re a normal human being… You wouldn’t happen to be that special project the terminals were talking about, would you?”

        “No, I’m actually a tertiary AI program for a large combat platform that fell into the vault’s entrance cavern. I opened the door from the outside, nothing but my primary combat systems are keeping anything in here from leaving.” I explained and the stallion’s feathers all puffed up in joy.

        “That sounds more like the program than you know… and if that’s the case…” Morrison’s face lit up with joy. “That means there’s a way out! Please tell me there’s a way out! Last I checked, Project Gestalt got moved to the Pentagon because of some kind of failure, AI remaining dormant because of power or something… But that doesn’t really matter! If my hunch is correct, that’s you, and you brought your platform with you, right? And if that’s correct, that means there’s an exit! An unending life like this is boring in this metal prison!” Morrison just realized what he said, his expression snapping to one of fear. “Oh shit. I don’t care what your name is, kid, I know you’re not a Handy, just take me to wherever the damn exit is NOW! We can’t let any of ferals escape! We need to get the twenty or so of us still aware out and then collapse the entrance!”

        “R-right. If you can protect me or show me to some kind of better chassis, we could get moving.” I said. “Actually, that’s why I came down here. My primary chassis is damaged, and it told me about a heavy chassis I could use to repair-”

        “Yeah, yeah. There’s one over by Nancy’s room. She’s been here the longest since she was the Overseer, still hasn’t gone feral.” Morrison said, muttering “lucky bitch” under his breath, but the way his wings stiffened a bit said something else about his feelings on the mare. “In fact, I think she may have found some kind of way to keep herself sane. But that’s not the point. We have to go find her… Actually, why do you need my protection? I thought handies came with flamethrowers or plasma cannons, compared to what I have that’s-”

        “Have you not noticed I’m missing that arm?” I deadpanned. “All I’ve got is this claw and damaged saw blade.”

        “And? A saw is better than nothing.”

        “The teeth are all dulled down to the point of making the blade useless.” I deadpanned again. “Also doesn’t help that the motor broke when I first tried to use it earlier.”

        “Great, so you’re a floating ball of choking or flaying, and we’re nearly immune to that….” James grumbled as he paced, his talon making a visibly different sound from his hooves. “Grrrrr, I can’t think of anything! Our skin and bones are a bit too tough for you to even attempt to kill us like that…it’s why the ferals haven’t killed anyone down here and why the brain-dead ones don’t just die mercifully or be executed. And there’s no idea how intact that chassis the Overseer has is… Oh! There’s a robot chassis nearby that was meant for construction and hauling all the things around. But Nancy has the key to the storage area since that’s where we herded most of the ferals in the first place...ugh...we’ll just have to...try and talk to her….”

        “Why don’t you want to talk to her anyway?” I asked, he was being really desperate to seek violence first against this mare.

        “Because she’s a bitch, a lecherous one too. The first time I stepped in here, she tried to shoot me, among things. Then when she realized what I was, she tried to get me into bed with her. By then, she was already a fucking horse hybrid thing.” James gestured with his talon as if emphasising breasts.

        “So… She’s a centaur?” ‘Dude, sounds kind of hot.’

        “Yes, well, was. Either way, she’s gonna want to try and bed anything, ‘cause while she’s sane, she still has to follow instincts… and now’s about the time she gets ‘triggered’.” James said. “So, I’m going to stay outside when we go see her. I’m not getting near her while she’s in frickin heat again. Half the damn sane ones here are my kids thanks to her. The ferals can have at her for all I care now. Fun thing is, I know one of the ferals has an eye on her, keeps roaming around her room when she’s like this. Sad bit, the feral’s one of my sons, and I just know she’d let him do her. She even knows who he is.” Morrison growled angrily.

        “Wow...what a whore. We’re not letting her free right?” I asked, and James huffed out his nose with a roll of his eyes.

        “If I had no heart, no. But she’s still a perfectly sane gal when she’s not like this, and she’s always crying about our situation. Trapping her here forever would be too harsh. I either want her dead, or at least free with the chance to restrain herself. Now c’mon, I’ll take you there, distract my feral brat, and you talk to her about arranging an evacuation.” James stated before he put one of his ears to the door, and opened it, leading us out.





        “That’s...a big hole.” Rainbow helpfully pointed out at the edge of the giant sinkhole that had a bit of an imprint of Prime at the bottom. “How’d he not see that?”

        “If I had to guess, Master likely let his mind wander as he so often does. Excuse me, I will descend to see if it is safe.” Handy said as he flew down into the pitch-dark hole.

        “Amazing...from what I can tell, this sinkhole has been developing for at least two hundred-.”

        “UNIT DETECTED! ALLY: HANDY! LIFEFORMS DETECTED!”

        “Those are Princess Sparkle and Lady Rainbow Dash.” Handy’s voice answered.

        “PRETTY PURPLE PONY AND GAY PRIDE PONY CONFIRMED!”

        “PLOTHOLE! FOR THE LAST TIME I’M NOT GAY!” Rainbow screamed with her cracking voice down into the hole, and Twilight snickered.

        “That’s not what you said last week~.” Twilight wagged her eyebrows, and Rainbow conked her on the head with her hoof as a deep blush spread over her face.

        “Shut up...you know I’m bi….” Rainbow whispered with a hiss.

“CORRECTION ACKNOWLEDGED. BISEXUAL PONY RECOGNIZED AS LOVER OF PRETTY PURPLE PONY!”

“SHUT IT YOU MOTHER BUCKER!” Rainbow yelled at the hole. “And it’s more ‘friends with benefits’!” Rainbow emphasized, and yelped when suddenly Twilight spanked her flank.

“Really nice benefits~.” Twilight lilted with a giggle before she and Rainbow both flew down to the hold and hovered slowly so their eyes could adjust to the dark cave that only had the midday sun overhead streaming light down for them to see with. “What is this place?” Twilight asked as she cast a light spell that hovered in the air, bringing a sun-like light into the massive cavern.

“It would seem Master literally stumbled across another Old World installation. Unfortunately...it would seem it is a Vault.” Handy informed grimly. “We should be cautious. There is no telling what sort of Old World Abomination could stumble out of that gaping doorway.” Handy warned the mares as they got to the rubble-littered floor and landed, only to hear a gurgling avian-like screech and the two friends screamed in terror as a deformed zombie-pony-bird-thing dashed out of the open doorway at them, tentacles flailing.

“ENGAGING!” Prime announced before firing a single photon beam that vaporized the charging ghoul into ash. “SENSORS DETECTED NO LIFE SIGNS! SUBJECT WAS ALREADY DECEASED!”

“W-what the flying BUCK was that?!” Rainbow squealed as she protectively hugged Twilight. “A-are there more zombies in there?!”

“Most likely Miss Dash. That thing was what Master would call an Old World Abomination. A category that is most broad, as Master includes himself in that list. Buried beneath the surface lie many places such as this, where the crimes of the Old World still reside. They are dangerous, do not enter that place.” Handy warned before he began heading towards the entrance. “I shall go after Master, he has clearly split his AI from his primary chassis.”

Twilight hugged Rainbow back, but felt the need to say something. “W-wait! I’m an accomplished battlemage and Rainbow says she got an A in her school-required military training-.”

“B-Plus.” Rainbow amended.

“Whatever. We could help.” Twilight insisted.

“The offer is appreciated Princess, but you don’t know what you’re up against. Magic has shown to have extremely odd and potent effects on Old World Abominations, especially if they haven’t been properly exposed to it before. I could go into detail, but Master needs me. Remain with Prime, help begin his repairs and potential upgrades.” Handy stated before flying into the Vault.

“UNIT HANDY IS PROOF OF PRETTY PURPLE PONY’S SKILL! PAINT ME RED WHITE AND BLUE!” Prime requested as Twilight sighed and began clearing the rubble to get at his legs easier.

“But you’re already blue.” Rainbow commented.

“NOT BLUE ENOUGH!”