Strawberry Pickle Cake

by GivingSpider

First published

Discord requests a very unusual cake.

Discord asks Pinkie Pie to create a strange dessert. Pinkie's journey doesn't end when the order is picked up.

Chapters are written under the condition of 1 hour time allowed.

Chapter 1

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The sun slowly rose over the small tranquil town the way it always had. Its citizens rose to their daily routines the way they would on any other summer morning. The tranquil serenity coated the land the way any well placed half-truth might conceal a secret.

Behind the doors of Sugar Cube Corner, the simplicity of the outside world had no dominion. None of the pleasant deeds that transpired beyond the walls penetrated the insidiously quiet kitchen. What was once a lively domain of rapidly prepared confectionary goods was now the realm of a single cake of mad origin.

On the outside it looked like any other dessert that had graced the counters of the establishment before fulfilling harmless hunger for sweets. It was a small round cake that could comfortably serve four stomachs without any overindulgence. A thin pink layer of buttercream frosting was expertly layered on its surface giving it a smooth appearance. Between two layers of sweet decadence was a thin layer of strawberry jam worthy to be used for a royal meal. Its very existence was a very odd one for never in Pinkie Pie’s life had she dared consider the creation of such a strange pasty.

Underneath the cake’s mask was a strange and almost malicious secret. Several sour pickles had been used to birth the beast.

Pinkie’s thoughts remained fixated on the afternoon where this strange thing would enter her life. It was like any other day, much like how things were beyond the walls of her home on the otherwise fine sunny day. It was only disrupted by the sudden appearance of the misshapen creature the world knew as Discord. He appeared before her without warning; much like he always had. He had a request for something to be made as if it was going to be a normal order.

Alas; to assume that Discord could be satisfied with a simple thing was folly.

The former Lord of Chaos had requested what he simply called a Strawberry Pickle Cake; and gave no instructions on how to create such an unworldly thing. Pinkie labored for hours over her task. Her mind only strayed to consider what inspired the childlike abomination to ask for such an abhorrent cake. What fevered thoughts ran though the mind of a mad god? One could argue that Discord was only being the mindless creature he usually was. Discord was renowned for his wild spirit; wielding an imagination that dwarfed her own. To hear the words from his mouth wasn’t something any of her days had prepared her for.

She trembled at the thought that they had shared a common ancestry; it was the only sane thought that justified her creating the abomination and meeting his expectations. The bizarre creature seemed to be truly happy with the strange fruits of her labor. Discord took his otherworldly desire with him without any incident. There was no harmless joke or insidious prank played on that fateful day. All that remained after he left was one burning curiosity.

How would it taste?

Her stomach churned at the notion of consuming such a contradictory confection. Its existence mocked her as if to say that everything she knew was wrong. And yet it called to her like a siren’s song. Seconds felt like days as she lay awake in bed that night wondering about how anypony could enjoy such a strange dessert. She had to admit that it was Discord and that it would be stranger if he hadn’t enjoyed it but at the same time she was repulsed by what she had created.

The next morning her path was clear.

She was possessed by an almost unholy urge to taste the insane concoction for herself. She labored over the kitchen the same way she had when she made the first born monster. She crafted the cake the same way the first one was forged. She stared into the frosted abyss and pondered her own sanity. Why was she obsessed with sampling something only a Draconequus could devour? Why was she standing on the threshold that separated ponies from eldritch horrors?

She hesitated before carving a thin slice of the second born monster. She set the serving upon a simple plate and found herself captured by the sight of strawberry jam slowly oozing down a deep green confectionary thing that resembled a treat.

She took a deep breath and uttered a few words to justify her actions.

“There can be no bravery without madness.”

The forkful of the most foreign of food entered her mouth. Her teeth seized they prey with reckless abandon as her tongue dared to taste what had entered its home.

Before she knew it, she was cutting a more appropriate portion for consumption. The other worldly cake was the single best thing she had ever eaten. Why would Discord keep this strange concept a secret from her for this long? Why had she never samples from this repulsive yet serene delight? The pink pastry chef began to further enjoy the rewards of her mad quest for knowledge. Another small piece of her wedge had entered her eager maw. The strange mix of flavors sang ethereal symphonies where there should only be a horrendous screech. She continued to eat the product of the misshapen creature’s imagination as if it was just another delicate decadence that spawned from the bakery ovens. Pinkie pondered over having another serving when the door had opened.

Entering the building that was almost forgotten by the town due to the ‘Closed’ sign in the window was one of her longtime friends. The gentle Fluttershy calmly approached Pinkie Pie and her eyes fell on the cake. The yellow Pegasus looked at the Earth Pony and her eyes went wide. She blushed and seemed to fight for the words to say. After a small silence her friend Fluttershy recomposed herself and offered words that shattered her perceptions on the purpose of the Strawberry Pickle Cake.

“Pinkie Pie…are you also pregnant?”

Chapter 2

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For the first time in many hours a glimmer of reasoning had entered the realm of Pinkamena Diane Pie. The otherworldly dish requested by the misshapen god was not a product of any bizarre impulse or cruel experiment. The confection was not meant for Discord’s consumption. Pinkie stared at the yellow mare with under a trance that could only be described as awestruck. Fluttershy was no longer a mere Pegasus; she was now the most dangerous creature that ever lived.

She was an expecting mother. The strange order was the product of an illogical hunger combined with a mate’s desire to provide.

The Pink Fury of Ponyville payed no heed to the laws of motion or gravity as she lunged forward and delivered a hug upon reaching take off velocity. The jubilant Earth Pony returned to the ground as Fluttershy let out a nervous squeak. Despite the show of raw physical power that was used in delivering the embrace there was no damage to the recipient or the floor. Pinkie Pie was very joyous for the sudden realization but wished no harm upon the unborn child slowly growing in her friend. Abruptly a truly frightening though creeped into her mind. She continued to grip the paragon of mercy but moved to make direct eye contact. Pinkie wore an expression of worry and fear, and Fluttershy returned it in her soft voice accompanied by a smile.

“This was planned…getting your lover pregnant is a Draconequus rite of proposal.”

Happiness returned to the soul of the pastry chef and made its mark on the world as she pulled Fluttershy into another hug. The eldritch creation that haunted the bakery was no longer burning in her fevered brain, the inevitable newcomer to the Equestria was all she could think of. Pinkie envisioned a cornucopia of images. She pictured planning and attending birthday parties. She imagined play dates with the Cake twins. She saw herself hosting a foal shower for Fluttershy. Pinkie returned to reality and released Fluttershy from her forelegs. She smiled warmly and Fluttershy nodded. The Earth Pony had successfully conveyed all her support and congratulatory thoughts without saying a word.

Fluttershy blushed faintly and breathed deep the scent of a cake that had recently become familiar to her. Pinkie noticed the sudden change in the Pegasus’s expression and turned to glance at where she was before the door had opened. There was a lonely wedge of the curious confection remaining, and Fluttershy had become aware of its presence. Without hesitation Pinkie invited Fluttershy to help herself to the remaining piece, which was gratefully accepted. Pinkie watched Fluttershy slowly consume the treat, savoring every odd bite that any sane soul would refuse to even taste. With remarkable patience that was an equal match for her own enthusiasm, Fluttershy silently ate the sour yet sweet dessert.

A curious chill came over the baker as the last piece disappeared forever. Pinkie Pie stood still and contemplated what it could have meant. She had no spasms to predict what was to come. She had no real reason to suspect foul play. There was no indication of malice from Fluttershy, or any justifiable reason to look for a sliver of cruel intent. Fluttershy simply sat at the table and let herself relax and enjoy the aftertaste of her latest obsession.

Suddenly a curious thought crept into her mind. Pinkie excused herself from the room where customers were permitted and entered the kitchens that had become her second home. She explored every crack, every inch and every small space that could possibly be used by a prying eye. Had Discord planned on her enduring such a contest with her curiosity? Had Discord tempted her with something as tantalizing as Pandora’s Box with no consequences except for what she herself put into her own mind?

Had the Master of Chaos somehow without any real effort managed to spin her right round into a strange decent of what she once thought to be a repulsive desire? Had Discord indirectly used Fluttershy’s sudden craving for a Strawberry Pickle Cake as some strange yet effective prank that cost Pinkie Pie an entire day of sunshine?

Was it Discord’s plan to trap her in the kitchens on one of her day’s off from work?

Pinkie Pie grinned and gazed into nothing.

“Good one Discord.”

An oven door fell open, allowing a distinct heat to penetrate the room. As quickly as it was felt it was gone, but not before the sound of Discord’s laughter could be heard. Pinkie turned and saw one of Discord’s eyes materialize in the now cold oven. It bounced into the air and popped like a balloon without making a sound. Pinkie Pie smiled as she accepted that she had been beaten in her own home. Pinkie Sense had failed her and she only had her own flaws to blame. It was very possible that Discord was purely innocent and that the only soul playing the game today was herself. Pinkie sat and pondered her position in the universe and grinned like a fiend.

“My turn.”