Chapter 1
He couldn't quite pinpoint where everything started to go wrong – his life had been downhillish for quite some time – but this... this had to be his all time low. The All Father had really outdone himself: he had surprised Loki, the God of Lies and Mischief. After learning about his true heritage he hadn't thought it was possible to surprise him anymore.
Yes, he had known he was in for a punishment when Thor escorted him back to Asgard. Yes, some part of him had expected a banishment and strip of his powers, although he had been expecting more of something like eternal imprisonment while being tortured. Then again, Odin had already tried that once.
And well, this was sort of imprisonment. He was in a cat's body, without the ability to change back. In a way it was nerve-wracking, but on the other hand, he had always enjoyed being a cat. Cats were cunning, clever, regal and definitely plotting world domination. Therefore cats were awesome.
But this... this... He didn't even have words.
”Here kitty, kitty, kitty,” a gentle voice coaxed. ”Now where did you run off to?”
Loki pressed himself more firmly on the corner of the wall under the sofa. He would not come out. His already teetering sanity wouldn't be able to take it. Then again, maybe he already was insane.
Thor had seemed to think so at least.
He had tried talking All Father out of his idea, pleading on the fact that Loki had probably suffered a lot during his fall through the wormholes. Odin on the other hand had placed a firm gaze on Loki and deemed that no, he was sane. Mostly, at least.
Thor had received an umpteenth chance of redeeming himself when Odin had sent him to Midgard without his powers. He had actually had the nerve of asking whether it would work for Loki too.
”You too could find love, brother,” he had said with that stupid booming voice of his. Loki suspected he would have found his ass hauled off to a S.H.I.E.L.D. prison and a room full of scientist probing him. Well, the scientists would probably love him as their new science project.
Odin had seemed to discard the idea. Point being on seemed. At that point Loki hadn't liked the look he had received from the All Father. It was a bit too calculating.
When the final verdict had been passed on him, he had been a bit surprised. Was his adoptive father actually going to follow Thor's idea? He had almost laughed, but didn't quite succeed in it before he found himself in a cat's body. Now that had managed to surprise him.
Was his sentence to roam at Midgard in the body of a cat until someone would care for him? And of course this caretaker would win Loki's heart too. The look his brother was giving him at least made him suspect it was Thor's line of thought.
Oh gods, he had liked Thor more when he hadn't been hopelessly in love with a Midgardian woman. It made him even more imbecile. A feat in its own right.
He hadn't actually listened to what Odin had lectured to him at that moment. He had been too busy trying to find a loop hole to get access to his magic, because there had to be one. He did remember that there might have been some talk about friendship and yada yada yada.
Loki had woken up to the reality when Thor had lifted him by the scruff of his neck. He had hissed at him and tried clawing at his hand, but his hiss had turned into a mortified howl, when he had realized Thor was throwing him towards a portal. A portal he hadn't even noticed before.
Talk about a dignified exit.
His enter to Midgard had been even more dignified. He had landed flat on his belly into a puddle of mud. While spitting the mud out of his mouth, he had hoped that no one (well, except Heimdall, because Heimdall saw everything) had witnessed his entry. He might have been a god turned into a cat, but he still was a god. A God.
After reminding himself of his position in the world, he had straightened his back and stood up with as much dignity as he could muster. He didn't have much of it left thanks to the mud he was standing in and the rain that was currently making his fur cling to his body. The day had been getting better and better.
He had been quite sure he looked like a drowning rat.
When he had heard the voices coming from the road he was at, his initial reaction had been escaping to the nearby forest. He was halfway actually doing that when he realized that perhaps finding someone to take care of him wasn't actually a bad idea. A warm place to dry his fur and think of a plan of action didn't sound bad at all.
Loki had tried to look as miserable as was possible for him, which wasn't quite hard under the circumstances. Soon the Midgardians would be upon him, comment to each other how cute he was and take him home with them.
So, there he had sat with his best “I'm cute and helpless and wet and hungry, help me” -face while the rain had soaked him even more. But nothing, nothing, could have prepared him for what he saw when the voices actually had turned into flesh.
Ponies. Ponies everywhere.
He could practically hear Odin's booming laugh at that moment.
Oh, by Thor's omnipotent stupidity, he wasn't in Midgard, was he?
A wail had escaped him. The ponies had probably thought it was because he was wet, alone and lost, but the truth was different. He couldn't handle this. Not now, not ever. Candy-colored ponies.
Ponies.
Did one have rainbow-colored mane? He was going to be sick.
“A cat!” one of them had yelled and managed to come to a halt before stepping on Loki. Talking ponies. And apparently flying also.
He had tried to collect himself and muster all of his power behind his stare.
Kneel before me. I am your new God.
“Oh, poor, poor thing, are you lost?” the one of the flying ones had said and landed next to him. “Oh look at you. You are soaking wet!” Loki had tried to get a firm grip of his sanity. A pony with wings and pink mane was talking to him.
This had to be payback for him giving birth to Sleipnir. It had to be.
He didn't even notice him being lifted to a basket, he was too shocked. After spending a few minutes trying to collect himself, he realized the basket he was in also held apples, sandwiches and a bottle of apple cider.
The ponies had been having a picnic. Picnic. Ponies.
He had breathed slowly in and slowly out. This changed nothing. He just had to think of a new plan. A pony could take care of him too. And when his magic returned to him, he could enslave them all.
Thor's face when Loki would return to Asgard with an army of ponies would be priceless. But first he needed his magic back.
And he would get his magic back. Right?
Right?
Loki had silenced the words of doubt. It didn't matter if he wasn't in Midgard. This just meant he had to think of another plan. And he was good at scheming. It was his talent.
He just wasn't quite sure how he should react to ponies. They seemed almost Midgardian-like, but... they were ponies. It puzzled him.
So, when the swinging of the basket finally ended and the cover lifted, he had jumped out and run to the nearest hiding place he saw – under the sofa. He had needed to think. Alone.
And there he had been ever since. The cream colored pony had been trying to coax him out for a while now, but Loki hadn't relented. He'd come out when he felt like it. Now he felt like lying in a dark corner, wet, miserable and confused.
He hated Odin.
A teal colored eye peeked at his hiding place.
“There you are!” she, because she definitely was a she, exclaimed happily. “I was worried you might have run back outside.”
I'm not an idiot. Loki whisked his tail from side to side. If his other choice was to sit outside while it rained like no tomorrow, he'd gladly share his space with a talking pony. Well, maybe not gladly, but he'd tolerate her. For now.
“Oh please, do come out. I lit the fireplace and I have also a warm blanket for you.” Loki could hear chirping behind her. “And a lot of new friends!”
Loki's tail stopped at that spot. He was quite sure even his cat face portrayed pure horror at that moment. Where in the nine realms had Odin sent him? A Disney movie?
He would not come out.
“Oh, you don't have to be afraid of me,” she continued. “I would never hurt you, you poor thing. Did your owners abandon you in the forest?”
I hate you. Please go away. This had to be part of his punishment – not to be able to be understood. Why couldn't she leave him alone?
“I also have cream for you, should you be hungry.”
I don't care. Go. Away.
“I'll go sitting next to the fireplace now. It's nice and warm there. Your fur would dry there. You might catch a cold now, and that wouldn't be very nice, would it?” He received an encouraging smile from her, before she disappeared from view and Loki was once again alone in the darkness.
He would not join her. He would not.
He had to draw a line somewhere. He would not be a pony's pet. He would not play he was a pony's pet. It was too degrading. In stead he decided to stay where he was until he could make some sense of the situation.
If he could make sense of the situation.
Loki hadn't been lying there for long when he realized he was actually quite cold and hungry. At first he didn't recognize the symptoms, because it had been so long a time since he had felt them last. Usually his magic protected him from the mortal needs.
When his teeth started to chatter he realized he had to go sitting with the annoying quadrupled menace. Loki peeked carefully from under the sofa and almost instantly went back to the corner he had picked as his.
She was lying next to fire, with a blanket and a horde of animals surrounding her, enjoying a cup of something steaming. A horde of animals. Birds, squirrels, rabbits... Was she running an animal shelter?
She did notice him looking out from his hiding place, he was sure, but made no big deal about it.
Loki started to hate her even more. He was being treated like some sort of broken animal! He decided he would go and drop something when she was asleep. Preferably something expensive and easily broken.
Wait, did ponies have such things?
He shook his head and carefully tiptoed near her. All of the animals stared at him. She was the only one who didn't stare. Apparently she was too busy smiling in her cup of something.
But it did feel good to be near the fireplace even though he could still feel the gazes at his back. The warmness did good on him. He didn't feel like an ice cube anymore. It did humor him somewhat that a frost giant could feel cold, but apparently Odin had done his job well. He was stripped of all of his powers. Even those granted by his heritage.
Loki had underestimated Odin. A thing he would not do twice.
Watching the flames relaxed him somewhat. He was the God of Fire. He should have been able to control the flames as he'd like, but now magic eluded him. He couldn't feel it at all.
He would get his magic back. And the first thing he would do -
Oh gods, what was she doing? The scratching feeling behind his ear made his whole body melt. How dare she pet him! How dare she!
“Good kitty,” she whispered. “There's nothing to be worried about. Fluttershy will take care of you now.” What kind of deranged parent named their offspring Fluttershy? And why didn't she stop her wicked, wicked scratching?
Then again, it did feel nice. And he was a cat now. And it felt really, really nice. Even nicer than watching Thor get hit in his face. And he was a cat. Cats liked these sorts of things. He needed to keep up the appearance.
Well, he could be mortified later. She was now officially his new slave.
Lower, please. And a bit more force.
A purr escaped him.
Yes, he'd be mortified later.
It was a lot later when he finally felt the mortification creep up on him. He had let her pet him! He was once again under the sofa, hoping to every deity there was this was just a nightmare. Loki, the God of Lies, the God of Mischief, the God of Fire had let a pony pet him!
And what was worse was that he had actually enjoyed it!
Oh, how low had he fallen. He hated himself. Without his powers he wasn't even able to eradicate the memory from the pony. She'd remember it. She could tell it to others.
The humiliation was eating him alive.
It wasn't until the whole house was quiet when he finally found the courage to show himself again. The whole room was painted in grayness of the night, the only light coming from outside. Apparently it was full moon today. He didn't need the light to see in the dark, but it helped.
Loki suspected that Fluttershy had gone to bed with all of her animal friends. That meant no one would be looking at what he did. It was time to investigate.
An hour later Loki was lying on the couch, being utterly bored. There was nothing interesting in the house. It was even more dull than Thor's bedroom. It was utterly and completely dull!
There were books, mostly about taking care of animals (what a surprise) and cookbooks, but nothing of interest. Nothing told him where he was. Well, magical ponyland of rainbows and candies, but he needed to know more if he ever wanted to get out.
He had even peered at the stars, but they were as strange as the rest of the world. He had never been here before and he had never read about this place. When his magic returned he needed to know his exact location to be able to travel back...
Back where? Asgard seemed the logical answer, but Odin would know immediately if he did so and would probably once again strip him of his powers. Maybe Midgard. He could try taking over it again. And then face Thor and his idiotic friends. Again.
Maybe he should just stay and create chaos amidst the ponies. Yes, that might actually work. He would be their new God. They just didn't know it just yet.
His first act of the new God of this realm would be annoying his hostess. He didn't have his magic yet, so he needed to start with small things. Like knocking that stupid flower vase over.
Loki felt proud of himself when the vase broke down to pieces on the floor, the flowers spilling over the carpet. That was for petting me, you ignorant twat. He was even more proud of himself when he realized he had actually awoken his gracious hostess.
“Oh, you broke my vase,” Fluttershy discovered and flew to the scene. “You didn't hurt yourself did you?”
Loki froze to the spot. He blinked. What? He had just broken the damned vase! Of course he didn't hurt himself, he wasn't an idiot.
You are an idiot. I broke it on purpose.
“I'm sure it was an accident. This is a new place for you after all,” she said and patted him on the head. His mouth fell open. What was wrong with this pony? Was she mentally impaired? He started to suspect it was so.
“You should go to sleep. Otherwise accidents like this may happen again and we don't want that, do we?” She gave him a very firm gaze and he pressed his ears to his head. There had been a warning in her voice.
And what will you do to me, oh dear Fluttershy, if I decide to repeat my antics?
He scanned the room with his eyes and noticed his next victim. A small porcelain pony on a shelf. Loki sent a feral grin towards Fluttershy before jumping towards the shelf.
She caught the porcelain pony before it smashed on the floor and the two items following it, before getting tired of him. He could feel himself being lifted from his neck and next he knew, he was on the sofa looking at a very tired yet strict Fluttershy.
“Now, mister, I don't know how you have been treated before, but we don't drop things on purpose in this house. We play nice. Understood?” she lectured.
Loki just stared back at her. When would she realize he was no ordinary cat?
I don't follow rules. I'm the God of Chaos.
“Because of you, Angel has woken up and now he will be grumpy the whole day. Grumpy Angel is not something we want, understood?” Did she really think he understood? Or were the animals here smarter and capable of understanding?
Maybe he is grumpy, because his name is Angel.
“Please, go to sleep, mister cat. Tomorrow I can play with you,” she sighed and started flying back to her bedroom.
Oh, we'll be playing a lot. The game will be called Chaos.