Nightmare Night was always a hectic time for Rich's Barnyard Bargains, but it was also one of the most profitable nights of the year. Ponies would be rushing through the aisles searching for that one costume piece, bag of candy or spooky prop to make the holiday perfect. Though there would no doubt be a demand for merchandise up to and even beyond the start of the festivities, it was RBB policy to close up shop an hour before sundown to let his employees prepare for their own celebrations. Though this rule allowed his business associates time off for the evening to spend however they wished, it had the unfortunate side effect of working the mob of customers into a mad charge for the checkouts as those final minutes counted down.
Tidy Till ran one such register on this most wonderful and stressful of nights. Tidy was a unicorn stallion with a faded purple coat, a white mane and tail, each streaked with black down the center, and greyish blue eyes. His standard RBB uniform, which consisted of beige khaki pants, a white, leg-length button-up shirt and a navy blue vest, did well to hide his blank flank.
“Alrighty, then! Here's your receipt! Thanks for shopping at Rich's and have a happy Nightmare Night!”
It was an arduous evening, but Tidy had survived through sheer patience and force of will. Sore, tired and eager to rest, he bid the last customer in his line goodbye.
Whew. That's that. They're all gone. Now all I have to do is turn my register light off, and I'm ho-
“Ho there! Such a sight's divine! Bibidi spies and empty line!”
A dark violet coated mare whose eyes were hidden by a tall, wide-brimmed, deep blue witch's hat seemed to materialize from the ether with several full carts of Nightmare Night goodies. Her pitch black mane flowed from beneath her hat, with purple streaks like jagged lightning bolts. While she was still several hooves away, her horn lit up an eerily bright orange as item after item flew onto his unprepared conveyor belt.
Wha-? N-No!
“You! Cashier! I've cleared your shelves! Now! These pumpkins won't scan themselves!”
Poor Tidy recoiled at the daunting volume of Bibidi's purchase and froze in place, visibly sweating.
Celestia's sun had already met the horizon, and most of his fellow cashiers had already left to be with their families or to otherwise party the night away. While he had yet to make any actual friends amongst his coworkers well enough to be invited to such a shindig, that didn't mean he wanted to stay any longer than he had to.
The fact that he was caught off-guard only served to make matters worse.
“What is this look upon your face?! Am I...not welcome in this place!?”
Time stood still in Tidy's mind. He'd been caught napping past his allotted breaks far too often as of late, and his supervisors had made it clear to him that the sole reason for his continued employment was his stellar performance in Customer Satisfaction.
He was barely keeping his head above water with his landlord, who'd graciously offered him an extension for his rent, and with no family to speak of in the area, he'd been exhausting all of his accounts just to stay afloat. Without a special talent to call his own, the only job he could get was entry level cashiering that any unicorn with a basic grasp on telekinesis could do. It was a fact that his upper managers made sure to drill into him every time they pulled him aside for taking a bit too long to unwind on his breaks. If this boisterous mare voiced even a single word of complaint, and if that word somehow made its way up to those managers, Tidy knew he could kiss his gainful employment goodbye.
His only source of income...shot.
EMERGENCY!! EMERGENCY!! Prepare the Diffusion Subset Greeting Script! Set Vocal Tone to Maximum Pleasantness!
“Th-That couldn't be f-further from the truth, Ma'am! Sorry for hesitating, I'd be -happy- to check you out tonight!”
Deploy the Tactical Smile!
Unbeknownst to Tidy, his sudden burst of Dread and Panic suffused into the air as a gold and orange miasma. One that only the dark mare before him could see. She greedily drank it all in.
Prime the Product Code Auto-Record and Levitation Spells!
Tidy's own horn came to life with a steady grayish glow.
“So! I trust you found everything you needed this evening?”
An audible moan of pleasure reached the cashier's ears. He only had a second to dwell on his Shock as his customer spoke up to answer his question.
“M-MM! Delicious~! Oh, yes indeed! I believe I have found...all I need! WHAAAHAHA-HAHAHAHAA!!”
Tidy balked for just a moment.
I'm sure she's just...imagining all the tasty Nightmare Night treats she's going to make with all-
He spared a glance at the river of orange that was his register's conveyor belt.
...all...those...pumpkins...
Then, after a cleansing shake of the head and a mental reminder of the stakes at play, Tidy Till launched himself into his work.
Now! GET SCANNING!!
More than an hour later, a weary, raven striped white tail dragged through the front doors of Rich's Barnyard Bargains, its owner trudging home. By this point in the night, the festivities had already begun in Ponyville proper. All manner of Nightmare Night frivolities were in full swing, but Tidy couldn't bring himself to join in on the fun.
For one, he didn't have a costume.
For two-
"Uuughhh..."
-he was hearse-bound on his hooves.
"Finally clocked out. Finally...done."
He wound his way around town to his home apartment complex. He tiredly noticed a marked lack of landlord.
"Weird. Eh...who cares? He's probably at some party right now."
Tidy clambered up the stairs to the second level of apartments where he continued his labored pace, not stopping for anything until he saw that most welcoming of sights.
Door number 297. His home. He levitated his keys out of his right khakis pocket.
"Just a few more minutes, and it'll all be over. I'll be asleep, and I won't have to worry about any more customers..."
His key clicked in the lock.
"...or bits..."
The knob clacked loose from its latch.
"...or managers breathing down my neck..."
The door creaked open on its hinges.
"...or..."
Tidy ventured into his apartment. However, something was wrong. The shadows in the unlit room were all different, as though the room were full to bursting with bulbous mounds.
Suddenly, the lights snapped on, and once Tidy could see what they were, only one word could reach his lips.
"...p-p-pumpkins?!"
The door slammed shut!
The lights dimmed low.
The wind howled through the open window.
And Tidy's eyes were drawn to a particularly orange glow.
"BOO!!"
Chapter 2: Battle at Bibidi's
Autumn colors danced in the wind as Celestia's sun met the horizon. The White Tallow trees swayed their twisted branches in time to the chiming of another twilight. The crickets played their heckling lullaby for all the denizens of the Whitetail Woods; it was one of their finest. Yet, deep within, and out of sight, the creeping night was not so silent.
Somewhere between the Birches and the Crape Myrtles, a mare fell flat on her face.
“Oohff!”
At the snickering of her traveling companion, the mare, a goldenrod coated unicorn, hoisted herself back up onto her hooves.
“Oh, was I Spellsight Walking again?”
The fully amused mare beside her found it within herself to respond through her revelry.
“Hee-yep! Almost tripped over some Cyprus Knees...three times. Figured I'd do the job myself just to snap you out of it.”
Her coat was seafoam green, but the fading, reddened light of the sunset tinted it a fair, brownish hue, her normally bright yellow eyes, mane and tail turning a sparkling amber in the passing evening.
“Oh...”
The unicorn's muzzle scrunched up, as she tried to regain her sense of direction.
“C'mon, Dawn, relax! I was just jestin' with ya'!”
“Oh. Ha-ha. Satisfied then are you, Merry Weather?”
After half a beat, Merry shrugged.
“Eh, I'll take it. So, what'cha see that's so interesting, anyway?”
“Do you want to see it for yourself?”
“What, you mean that 'magic sharing' thing you showed me back in Hollow Shades?”
Dawn nodded.
“Sure, I'll bite. Lay it on me!”
Dawn's horn flared to life with a deep blue aura, and she touched it to Merry's forehead, bestowing the Spellsight spell upon her. When Merry Weather opened her eyes, her irises became a rotating, glowing kaleidoscope of colors to Dawn's satisfaction as she ended the spell.
“Now, tell me what you see.”
“I see some geometricky, orangey stuff around the edges of my vision...some wavey, purpley stuff in the sky...some dancey, greeny stuff in the ground, and...wait. Okay, that big, black castle was not there two seconds ago!”
“That, my friend, is what Dark Magic looks like, and that castle you now see? That is what we're after. I've spent the last 80 moons following leads of missing magical relics and grasping at any straws I could find, and do you see all those black spirals going in and out?”
Merry nodded.
“Each and every one of them is a Dark Teleportation Signature, and each one of them connects that castle to the ancient sites where each of the enchanted items were originally found. All of them...gone, and each one conveniently disappeared the night before they could be sent off to Canterlot to be cataloged and studied.”
“So...a serial arcane-ological burglar?”
Dawn Gleam rolled her eyes.
“'Thaumatological', and yes.”
“So what're we we waiting for?!
"Wha-? But what about-?"
"C'mon, Dawn! You remember what Ol' Miss Val used to say, don'cha?! Take chances!”
“M-Make...mistakes.”
“GET MESSY!!”
The stallion fell to the floor with a thump.
Bibidi Boo pranced over to his prone form and gave it a poke.
Out cold.
She'd outdone herself.
In that last fraction of a second he'd exuded Paranoia, Panic, and Shock in such large quantities that she wasn't exactly sure what she'd do with it all. Among it all, however, was something bigger. She'd hit upon something irrational in that last scare. She'd uncovered a Phobia.
Everypony has one, she figured, and once she found out what a pony's Phobia was, she could use it to her fullest extent to generate and harvest the rarest and most potent variety of fear of them all!
Primal Fear.
Why, the half second's worth she'd just collected from that stallion would be enough to cover her needs for a fortnight!
Now she just needed to figure out how to do it again!
She was two seconds into trying to decipher what exactly set him off when her thoughts were interrupted by the untimely buzzing of something under her hat.
After fumbling around for a moment, she pulled out a crystal ball in her magic, and with a small surge from her horn, she viewed its bewaring message.
She chuckled.
“Two little mice begin to play, while the cat is gone away. And they will, as all mice, learn, what happens when the cat returns.”
Orange light, tinged with black, filled the room, and when it faded, the lowly apartment was empty.
The first thing Tidy Till noticed while he returned to consciousness was tightness around his hocks. All of them. The implications fired through his head and hit their marks, waking him up with a bolt. His eyes snapped open revealing to him that he was most certainly not in his apartment anymore.
He was laid out on his back on a black. plush upholstered couch, and with the other eye...
...he saw her.
Chalk was flying around her, carving up designs on the floor beyond his vision. It reminded him of movies he'd seen about haunted houses, rituals, and spellwork gone wrong. He gasped, but shortly he realized that there was a gag on his muzzle, so the only sound to escape his lips was a constricted whine.
“Oh! You're up! Good timing, there. I've had just enough time to prepare! You've been a great help to me, more than you know, so since I've had my dinner...”
A speck of orange magic shot from her horn onto a spot on the floor Tidy couldn't see, but its effect was instantaneous. The floor burst to life with a bright, eerie glow, and a swirling column of blackness erupted forth, stretching to the ceiling.
After five seconds, it receded, but as it did so, it left behind two mares. One was a pegasus, and the other was another unicorn.
The dark mare spun around to face them. She reared up and spread her forelegs wide, as mane fluttered behind her like a cape.
“...IT'S TIME FOR THE SHOW!”
“Waitaminute-waitaminute! Wait! A! Minute!”
The newly arrived unicorn quickly produced a trio of silvery daggeers from beneath her reddish brown cloak. They shot from her magic and into the floor around the dark mare, Bobbidee-or-something, and light lines appeared between them and fired from their hilts, meeting at a point in the air above the mare, and solidifying into a blue, glowing pyramid.
That was when they charged forward. The imprisoned mare looked amused for once, but when the pegasus dived forward for a flying hoof to her face, and the barrier started to stretch around her hoof as she flew, the dark mare flinched. She then immediately melted into a shadow and escaped her cage, only for the unicorn mage to cast a powerful Illumination spell, forcing the dark mare to reemerge.
And all the while, poor Tidy Till, with nothing else to do, laid on the couch, stewing.
Where am I?
How will I get home?
Am I gonna be late in tomorrow?
Am I even gonna be able to make it back at all?
Tight Shift is gonna kill me if I miss a day!
I'm gonna lose my job.
I'm gonna lose the lease on my apartment.
I'm gonna have to live on the street like those ponies I saw in Manehattan.
My life is over.
My life is over.
My life is over.
Bibidi Boo dodged another blast from the mage, undeniably on the defensive, whereas she'd expected to be stomping these two thieves to the curb.
A sniff of the air told her why.
She'd been counting on a near constant flow of Fear from the cashier to fuel her spells, but ever since he woke up, he'd only been feeding her one thing.
No fear, no shock, no panic. Just pure, undiluted Despair.
And while Fear and its other related emotions empowered her magic. Despair, on the other hoof, she could only serve to her pets!
On top of that, the fight with the two intruders had her too distracted to even consume all of the excessive Despair. She'd have to find a way to finish up quickly, and then snap him out of his stupor to stop him from producing more, and then suck it all down before her pets got a whiff of it and tore him to shreds to get at it.
But how in the myriad lands was he producing so much of it in the first place?! It just didn't make any sense! The only things there when she saw his first cloud of Fear were himself, herself and her pumpkins. If she wasn't the one to set him off, then...
Bibidi froze.
He...
He wasn't afraid of her.
She then recalled everything she'd put him through up to that very moment. She'd pulled out all the stops with him in his line at the store in order to get as much Fear out of him as possible, but...none of it was for her in the first place.
She'd tormented and abducted him, all under the mistaken assumption that he was just like all the rest.
But he wasn't...and now she'd put him in danger.
"STOP!!"
The witch had just dodged another hard magic round when she suddenly stopped moving.
Merry Weather was just about to launch into another charging tackle when the witch let out a yell.
Dawn almost lost control of her next spell while Merry herself nearly tripped out of her gallop. Merry picked herself up and readied for another charge.
The witch removed her hat.
"I don't know who you two are, but I need your help!"
Merry Weather just scoffed.
"You steal a bunch of magical relics, squirrel them away in your invisible castle of dark magic, warp us into your arena, provoke us into battle with you -which you were clearly outclassed for, by the way- and now you stop the fight -which you were losing- to ask us for help?!"
"Look, I don't have enough time to explain, but yes!"
Dawn Gleam's horn shone for a second while she activated her Spellsight Spell again. She focused her attention solely on the witch to make sure she wasn't trying anything.
The witch continued, pointing to a couch behind her.
"That stallion is caught in the throes of a self-perpetuating despair! I have pets here in my 'Invisible castle of dark magic' that feed on despair, and I'm the only one who can handle them when they're hungry. I need you, Little Miss Mage, to seal off the door to this room with your fancy little knives to keep them from coming in."
The ground began to shake.
Dawn looked down the hall with her Spellsight, only to see the silhouettes of a horde of creatures within the dark magic saturated environment.
"Yeah, you might want to get on that. Now, Little Miss Blitzy, I need you to snap this stallion out of his trance while I sop up all the extra despair in the air."
"Yeah...no. Why should we help you at all?! You're a cheating, evil witch!"
The witch almost looked like she was going to throw a fit, but then she just sighed and hung her head.
"Because he's going to die...and he doesn't deserve that."
Silence reigned for a moment before Dawn pulled her daggers out of the floor with her magic.
"Dawn, what are you doing?!"
"Merry, she's telling the truth, there's a whole snarl of Darkling Beasts heading this way, far too many for me to handle, and according to my research they do, indeed, feed on despair, sadness and other negative emotions. We need to go with her plan for now!"
The witch nodded, then she sat back, closed her eyes, and opened her mouth.
"RRRRGH! FINE! I'll do it, but I won't like it!"
Merry turned to face the stallion on the couch. With a snort, she broke into a gallop.
"C'MON, YOU WEASELY WIMP! WAKE! UUUPP!"
Merry stopped just short of colliding with him, opting to smack him violently across the cheek, knocking him off the couch.
My life is o- WHAAGH!
Tidy Till suddenly became aware of a highly distracting amount of pain. While he was still reeling, he felt someone undoing his gag and restraints, and he flopped to the floor, finally able to relax.
"Hey! Dude! Get up."
His face was sore, but he found his way to his hooves with some doing. He then, gawked at the sight before him.
With a mighty crash, a storm of black monsters broke through some sort of magical barrier, sending its obvious caster flying across the room. Then, he saw that same dark mare from his line smile, leap into the throng and open her mouth.
He cringed, anticipating to witness her demise, but then the monsters all started...licking her.
"So, guy, what's your name?"
Tidy looked back and forth from the sight before him to the pegasus who asked him the question. Eventually he spoke.
"My name is Tidy Till, and I am in over my head."
Finally! Those two mares have been an irritation for sure, but...ahh, yes, that's over now.
Waiting for them to part ways after I engineered their meeting was definitely the wrong choice. Stubborn mares never left one another's side! I had to work in a way for both of them to meet with the ponies from the next branch of the bracket, but it was worth it.
They met, they fought, they all had dinner and got to know one another, and then she took him home. Now, I can just get rid of all of them while the winner's back is turned and move on to cleaning up the last branch!
Wow, I've lost a lot of time. I'll have to move all four of them into an encounter together with her, now. Shouldn't be too much of a hassle with how similar two of them already are. After this, though, no more idling. The only ones making it past tonight are the winners.
No exceptions.
I just have to tend to these first.
Dawn Gleam
Merry Weather
Tidy Till
Bibidi Boo
So long!
Dawn Gleam
Goodbye!
Merry Weather
And good...
*Tidy Till
...riddance?
Huh.
Out of ink.
Heh. Heh-heh. Ooooh-heeheeheehee!
I guess I'll just have to go and get some more.
I'll just set this little thing in motion for the next round and drop him in right...here! Perfect!
Those events will practically work themselves to my desired conflict on their own, leaving me to give this little loose end...
...my personal sendoff!
YAAAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!
Let the games begin!
There was darkness all around me, and I tumbled without reason. Formless shapes shifted about in all directions...
...my entire left side felt fuzzy. Then...
“TIDY!”
“Gah!”
...suddenly, floor.
I twitched for a few seconds, then, with some difficulty, I shook myself awake...
“Get it together, Tidy! Tight Shift needs you at the Front End, pronto!”
Only to become even more confused.
The red-orange pegasus mare frowned down on my prone form. Her messy, blond bangs bobbed as she heaved in and out, and her Rich's Barnyard Bargains uniform looked slightly rumpled from a recent hurried run. However, that wasn't the confusing bit.
“Rollback? Ugh, why're you...?”
“Lemme guess: you thought you had more time to nap on your lunch. Well, time's up. I don't care how much longer you've been working here than me. Tight's not gonna overlook you being half an hour coming back! Now get up!”
Defeated, I obeyed. She was right, and I was the one who was supposed to be training her, not the other way around.
We trotted up the aisles to the front in focused silence, and it wasn't long before I had taken my place at register #8. I settled into a comfortable stance and gave my register's conveyor belt a test crank with my magic just to be sure. As I flicked my sign around to show that I was open, I realized my head still felt a little foggy.
A stimulating shake later, which I felt from tip to tail, I tried to purge the last of my sleepiness from my system.
“Wow, I feel woozy. What day is it?”
Over on #6, Rollback stepped forward.
“Tidy. No. Don't even joke like that. Nightmare Night's already bad enough.”
That woke me up!
I looked to my right and finally noticed the time of day.
Or, should I say...night.
“What the...?!”
The main thoroughfare of Ponyville was decked out in full Nightmare Night spectacle. Spooky decorations, festive game booths, myriad costumed ponies, the whole shebang. The stage in front of Town Hall was a buzz of activity, as the pony in charge of delivering the Legend of Nightmare Moon to kickoff the event prepared her entrance. Naturally, all the town's little Fright-or-Biters were lined up front and center to enjoy the show.
Occupying a bench a fair distance from the edge of the crowd were two mares. One a gold-coated pegasus whose silvery mane and tail were buttoned down into a bun and a braid respectively and the other a reddish-purple earth pony whose beige mane was cropped short with a bobtail to match, the two looked on as the foreign celebration kicked off.
They sat in companionable silence, neither having much to comment on the sight before them...
...that is, until the storyteller took the stage.
A series of small explosions released a blackened mist that hovered low, adding atmosphere, as a silhouette slowly materialized. The first, most immediately recognizable feature was a tall, pointed conical hat. Then the mare stepped forth from the obscuring smoke, showing off the dark blue, pumpkin-patterned cloak covering her deep violet coat; a tall, dark blue hat to match; and a black river of a mane that hid the upper half of her face and flowed down on either side of her muzzle.
The dark mare's horn lit up a bright amber as the legend came to life in her illusory floating images.
It was a few lines into the Mare of Ceremony's tale that the pegasus leaned forward and squinted, having finally found her voice.
“No...no, I must be dreaming.”
“What's going on, Kitty?”
Falcata, or “Kitty” according to her friend, let out a well used groan.
“Lucy. You know how I feel about that name.”
Loosestrife, otherwise known as “Lucy”, just chuckled and countered with a scoff.
“The day I stop calling you “Kitty” is the day the Witch of the Everfree rises from her accursed grave. Also, you'd have to stop calling me “Lucy” first, and we both know how likely that I- Whoa!”
Loosestrife suddenly found herself hooked around the shoulders by Falcata's good foreleg and tossed behind a nearby bush. She was joined shortly afterward by her scowling aggressor.
“So it is to be a duel, is it?! Come at me! You will see the full worth of my tribe brought to bear! I shall-”
“Loosestrife! Stay your hoof...lower your volume...and take a long, hard look at that mare on the stage.”
Loosestrife's mouth flew shut in an instant, and she quickly and silently righted herself and obeyed.
It wasn't long before her eyes began to widen.
“No...it can't be.”
“Despite our best efforts, it appears to be so. I don't know how she escaped that cave, but knowing her...and seeing this mare...”
“...around foals, no less!”
“Indeed. I don't dare doubt for a minute that she could've survived, even this far into the future from our time.”
“Neither do I. My old team never fully discovered the true extent of her capabilities. Nevertheless, this sort of unnatural longevity does certainly fit to my memory of her.”
Falcata nodded.
For a time, the two watched the familiar dark mare's performance intently, studying her actions. Falcata unconsciously squeezed the stump of old left foreleg.
“So, Strategist, what's the plan?”
Loosestrife smiled.
“Separate her from the foals, take her down, capture her, bring her to the regal authorities of this land, and politely insist that she be given her due for her crimes. However, none of that will be possible without a certain measure of stealth.”
“THERE YOU ARE!”
The two scheming mares jumped straight up from the shock, Falcata's wings affording her slightly more hang time than her co-conspirator. They turned to face the unexpected interruption, only to find a unicorn in a very loud, very pink, blocky costume.
“There's my two favorite time-tossed titans! Happy Nightmare Night! I see you're enjoying the opening ceremony! Why you're watching from behind a bush is beyond me, though. I mean, it's almost like you're- OH MY GOSH!”
Her second outburst caught Loosestrife and Falcata, as well as her own piebald-coated earth pony shopping buddy off-guard. Though that was probably more due to her horn sparking off a neon blue burst of aimless magic than from just her sudden rise in tone.
The mare's Shocking Pink Joy Boy Hoof-Held Gaming System™ costume squeaked and rattled about, not lending its owner any subtlety as she dashed a few paces forward and gawked at the dark unicorn conducting the ceremony. It was at that moment, as the black and orange image of Nightmare Moon dived into the crowd, that the mare running the show leaped up and began floating in the air in a grand display of magic to cap off the legend.
“WOW! Minnie, did you see that! This is way better than last year, and that zebra was no slouch! And I just love her costume! She's really got the 'Evil-But-Not-Really-Evil Witch' motif nailed down! I wonder what she'll think of mine!”
With a flick of her muted pink magic, the grayish unicorn flipped a sliding switch on the left shoulder of her garish costume, and a screen on her chest lit up with a two-toned green tint. After a few seconds, a lively tune trickled out of a speaker on her right shoulder.
“It even plays 'Tetrominix'!”
There was a beat of time where the only sounds to be heard were the ones from the over-excited unicorn's costume. It was ended by the sound of Minnie's facehoof and a single copper-toned ring.
Minnie was decked out in blue-collared cowbell. the source of the ring, and a novelty cow-horned hairband. She stomped her hoof back to the ground and voiced her opinion.
“Caps Lock, I'm sure she's quite busy being the Nightmare Night Legend Giver for tonight. If you run up to her now, musical as you are, you'll just break the atmosphere of the holiday for the foals. I'm sure she'll be here later on tonight.”
Falcata took the opportunity presented her to drop an unsavory bombshell.
“Minnie, there's a possibility that those foals might not be.”
“WHAT?!”
Caps Lock's costume let out a sorrowful sound.
“Falcata, this isn't funny! This is not the way to play a joke, or...or a prank or anything lighthearted of that nature! I've known you for a few months now, and you've always been terrible at it, and...”
Minnie froze for a fraction of a second before slowly gasping as her blue eyes shrank to the size of pinpricks.
“...and you truly believe this is going to happen, don't you? That those foals are in danger?”
Falcata nodded.
Minnie nodded back, albeit more slowly.
She then stepped over to Caps Lock and put a hoof on the bulky costume's left shoulder, turning off the game sounds before turning back around to face her friend.
“What can we do to help?”
I shouldn't be here.
I may not know what my true Special Talent is yet, but I know for sure it isn't this.
It's a fact that I've been acutely aware of for a long time.
It's a feeling that never goes away, a sense of wrongness that follows me every day I'm building a talent that isn't my own Special Talent.
It's incredibly stressful, feeling utterly wrong every minute of the work day and not reflecting that emotion to my customers.
Even more so, to prevent them from seeing my stress, managing said stress, and still provide to them the best customer service experience of their day, Celestia knows how I've not been reduced to a quivering wreck after these eight years.
Just about the only thing that's made it possible is a skill I've had to develop and constantly rely on throughout my time here.
Retention.
Product Codes, Customer names and faces, conversations, Clock In and Clock Out times; I've had to keep it all locked up inside my head. I've had to be ready to rattle off anything at a moment's notice with a smile on my face.
“Hey, Tidy! What's the code for cucumbers?”
Ho there! 4 a sight's divine!
Bibidi spies an 0-ty line!
You! Cashier! I've 6-ed your shelves!
Now, these pumpkins won't 2 themselves!
And then things like this happen.
“It's '4062', Rollback.”
I know for a fact that I've never met anypony named “Bibidi” or heard any of that conversation before, but there it is, mingling with my other memories.
I'm just glad that was an easy one.
“Hey, Tidy! How about beets?”
Horseapples.
What is this look upon 4 face?! Am I...not welcome in this place?
M-MM! Delicious~! Oh, yes 5-deed! I believe I have found...all I need!
Oh! You're up! Good 3-ing, there. I've had just enough time to prepare!
You've been a great help to me, more 9 you know, so since I've had my dinner.....IT'S TIME FOR THE SHOW!!
Well, whoever she was, she's a whiz with a rhyme.
“That's '4539'.”
“Thanks!”
“No prob'.”
Though, I admit, her voice isn't bad to listen to. Whoever this was, she sure styled herself as a total ham, but in a good way.
I kinda wish I could see her again. That is, if she's really not just in my head.
But I can't leave here now. I've got a job to do.
“Hey, Tidy! Granny Smith!”
“Where?”
“Gotcha! Haha! I mean the fruit, silly! What's the code?”
I've been belligerent, vile and sore; against your sanity I waged war.
I pondered what would bring you tears after I spied the first of your fears.
In line, I gave you much to endure, to draw out all your terrors pure.
But in my haste I failed to see. What frightened you was not just me, but what I then did represent. All this, to you, I now repent.
A-
“Tidy?”
Is that?
“Hello~! Equestria to Tidy Till!”
Who was she?
“Tidy, what's going on?”
Where is she now?
“Tidy, I need that code! I don't remember it!”
Was she really real? And if so, did something happen between us?
“You know what? Fine! Don't help me! I'll just look it up on my own! Thanks for nothing!”
Nothing?
No, that can't be it. Something happened.
Something definitely happened for her to have said that.
“Uh, sir?”
But what? What am I missing?
“Sir, could you please ring up my pumpkins?”
Pumpkins?
...pumpkins?
“BOO!!”
“Whoa!”
In an instant, my back was on the floor once again.
That moment happened after I clocked out for Nightmare Night!
But it's still Nightmare Night.
But I'm still scheduled to continue working.
But I already clocked out!
…
I gazed around me at the stunned faces. All of them looking in my direction, as if I were some madpony. I realized in that moment, that I didn't recognize any of their faces.
Not a one.
They're all strangers.
I suddenly realized that no amount of internal monologue could do this justice.
“What am I doing here!?”
This feels wrong!
I shouldn't be here!
Without another word, I turned and galloped away from my register!
“TIDY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?!”
A not-so-jolly green giant of an earth pony stallion, clad in a navy suit, white undershirt and yellow tie, blocked my path to the exit.
“That's my thought exactly, Mr. Tight Shift, Sir!”
I quickly dislodged one of the large panes of glass that made up the long front window of the store, pulled it in front of me, and plopped it down right in my Supervisor's path.
He balked, and I jumped out the window!
Once out and into Ponyville proper, a flood of memories washed over me. The scare, the castle, the mage, the brawler, the fight and the dinner with all those viscous, black animals. All of it rushed back in an instant, and I knew I had to find her.
If this weirdness was happening to me, I couldn't begin to imagine what was going on with her.
“Hold on, Bibidi Boo, I'm on my way!”
It had been a simple matter for Miss Caps Lock to distract the foals away from this witch, and with Miss Minnie Milk watching for anything suspicious that might interrupt us and Loosestrife watching her back from the shadows, Falcata had a prime opportunity to confirm her suspicions.
"So, Mistress of Ceremonies, or should I say 'Bibidi Boo'? Let's not have any games, now. Are you or are you not the Witch of the Everfree Forest?!"
The dark mare smiled.
"That is quite the brazen claim. Might I have the accuser's name?"
"I am Falcata of the Curved Blade. If you are indeed the Witch, then you have much to answer for, none the least of which is this."
Falcata presented her useless stump of a leg for further emphasis.
"Hmm~ Nope! You don't ring a bell! So why don't you just go to-"
"THERE YOU ARE!!"
Mane wild, clothes torn, and covered in minor cuts and bruises, a unicorn stallion threw himself into the clearing.
"Bibidi Boo! Am I glad to see you! Do you remember? It's me! Tidy Till!"
Falcata stood stock still, slack-jawed and buggy-eyed, and she couldn't bring herself to change that. Here was something so unexpected, so against her vision for this meeting, that its very existence threatened to bring her mind to a standstill.
Who was this stallion?!
What was he to the Witch?
Who cares?! He's in danger! Get him out of there!
I found her!
I found her, and she was so surprised that her hat fell off!
She pulled her bangs away, and I saw glorious recognition in those brilliant orange eyes!
"T-Tidy?"
"Stallion! MOVE!"
Uh-oh, somepony's not happy!
I turned and saw the tall, gold-coated, three-legged pegasus advancing on Bibidi and I. A highly intimidating curved sword glinted in the moonlight, and ill intent was practically written all over her face.
"H-Hey! Hold on! Let's all calm down here."
"You dare to advise anything of me!? You are in danger, colt! Back away from her!"
"I'll say we're in danger! Why don't you just put down the sword, and-"
"I WILL NOT STAY MY BLADE FROM ITS PURPOSE!"
Okay, now, she's seriously scaring me!
"I have been taunted, beaten, maimed, cursed, torn from my time, and brought into this backwards world where mares and stallions alike fret over the most frivolous of things! All! Because of that! Accursed! Witch! If she will not see justice, then I will show her my wrath!"
This is not good! C'mon! Think of something!
"Hey! I mean, this time can't be all bad! Maybe she did you a favor...?"
"Favor?! SHE TOOK MY LEG FROM ME!!"
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the slightest of frowns on Bibidi's face.
No good! Think of something else!
"Okay, so she's done some bad things, but she's not the same mare now as she was then! Can't you see that!"
"I see nothing but a blight on all ponykind, and a fool. If you will not remove yourself, then you shall surely share her fate!"
Oh, come on!
"Isn't there anything good that came from you coming to this time?! New friends? Kindred spirits? Even just a pal!?"
Minnie Milk
"No!"
Loosestrife
"NO!"
Caps Lock
"NO!!"
Suddenly, I saw a drastically different mare before me. Gone was the dutiful warrioress barely holding herself back. Now the only thing I saw in her eyes was a murderous glare.
She snorted aggression every breath now, and she renewed her advance.
I looked to Bibidi, and saw in her a mirror to my own confusion.
Her eyes met mine.
I've known her for a day at most, and here I was, risking my life for her.
She offered me a break from my boring routine.
-SLICE!-
...and I paid for it with my life.