Dragon Tales had magic, dragons, and rainbow rocks before it was cool. Time for Fandom Man to show these ponies whose boss!
I'm the best of the best. Would you like proof? BronyCon, your territory and we fight high noon. But first, let me take a SELFIE with that merchant.
In a world of ponies and magic, one kid in a horrendous costume becomes a man... sort of. Follow Oscar Conners "the Fandom Man" on his journey, struggling in a world of d'aww and gods as he comes to terms with his life. AM I A BRONY?!
"He is mix of TV, gaming, movies, comics, and web comics in a pack of armor!"
"Cortana! Don't tell them that!They could be spies..."
"No, its the internet. We worry about hackers."
"You mean that green guy off Cyberchase?"
"Let's go with that."
"Anyway, I need your help!"
"Type anything you want us to do and we might do it!"
"Keep it clean though, I'm not some dancing monkey."
This is in the same world/universe as A Boy and his Box so watch out for references and crossovers!
I hate conventions. I hate the smell. I hate the crowds. I hate the noise. I used to like Dead Pool. I met ten of them. I used to like challenges.
Did I mention I hate conventions?
Do you now know why I hate BronyCon more than ComiCon?
"I feel sorry for that kid."
"Is that foam and duct tape?"
"Hey kid! Where's your parents?"
"Can it pride parade," I said, whipping my Bat Man cape at a punk rock Rainbow Dash as I place my painted white Iron Man mask on. "I'm looking for Pinkie Dead Pools." In my mind I looked like an albino MegaMan X and Iron Man mix with a Bat Man cape and Ben 10: Omnivese omnitrix. The Max Steel symbol drawn and taped on, because of my lack of paint. Under Captain America's shield, I had Assassin's Creed's hidden blade and Mikey's orange nunchucks. In my right hand with my omnitrix, I had the sword of storms with eye of... what'shisface from Xiaolin Showdown.
I challenged these guys to a fight, my best gear in my back pack under my cape. Pepper spray and stink bombs with other stuff I "poorly" made from various games and shows.
I made my way through many people with the same stares of being weirded out. I looked as cool as the Iron Giant, but all they saw were a duct taped Tin Man with Dragon Pokeballs, looking for a heart... or a shiny Shenron.
Ponies. Ponies. Ponies. Human ponies. Ponies. Freak. Creep. Clopper. Copper.
Don't get me wrong, I have a respect for My Little Pony... just not that deep. Season 4 finally... good, but Dragon Tales had rainbow rocks first. And talking purple dragons with green on 'em. And magic.
A hand rested on my shoulder, I turned to see a Dead Pool with pony ears, long pink hair, and bat wings. He ate an apple through his mask. He gave a nod before asking, "You have guts, kid, but do you want to do this?"
"My name is Oscar Conners," I looked him dead in the... eye holes? "The great Fandom Man. KH quote: Got it memorized?"
"I'll be at your funeral."
"Don't worry Doc, Glass Joe is built to last! I will defend my honor." Why am I fighting ten Dead Pools? They disrespected my OC character book. I just want revenge and some Brisk Tea.
"I'm telling you: Mighty the Armadillo is a real Sonic character," we walk over to an almost clear area, set up for a fight. "OC, are you sure you want to do this?"
"OC? Oh, I see what you did there. So original. Any way, that wasn't just a book of original characters," the nine Dead Pools snapped their attention towards me. "I wont stand to let physically bigger nerds bully me."
Everyone, but me looked at the fat Pinkie Pool, "What?"
The boss, DJ PON3 with a Dead Pool mask and belt, puts his fists up as we get in a battle stance. "So you showed up. No matter pipsqueak-"
"If your talking Last Air Bender, I'm the Duke. Or your Fallout series than sure, I'm Little Pip." One Wonderbolt Pool laughed, asking a Rainbow Pool if I was serious. Like all dumb leaders, he makes the first move running straight into my trap card also taped to my shoe as he tripped. He rolled, rushing back to me as I tossed Cap's shield.
Wonderbolt Pool cupped his hands, "You missed!" They started singing HISHE's version of Captain America's theme song as their boss wailed on me. My only defense was gone and I had no fighting skill, I was lucky to even trip the guy! Flutterbat Pool was trying to pull his friend off me before Aloe and Lotus Pools held him back. Pinkie Pool commented on how his boss was 'taking it too far', but just sat there eating a Twinkie. Every punch still hurt, but without my suit it would probably hurt worse.
Future Twilight Pool was looking through my decks. First my Yu Gi Oh deck full of famous characters, spells, and traps then my pokemon deck (I actually knew how to play that game) holding out one of my rare cards. My eyes widened as I saw my Totodile and holographic Mew in his hands. I turned my focus to the guy on top of me... and lets just say Shenron was with me in spirit, taking the dragon balls.
I grabbed my shield and successfully kicked three or four guys in the... and took my cards, repacking my bag the best I could before poking a guy's eye with my hidden blade and bashing the DJ's head with my plastic shield while he was still down. Unlike my unfair attacks increased by foam and plastic, the move was not "super effective" as I forgot the other Dead Pools could get me and plastic can break. I laughed nervously before putting up my dropped sword and taking out some pepper spray.
This is close enough... I thought as I screamed, "Eye of Dashie!" Every time I used the spray and, like Twilight Sparkle, booked it. I left Flutterbat Pool to help his friends as the unsprayed or injured... or fat Dead Pools chased me. To my right, an Apple Jack guy was trying to get my attention, but to my left an old guy dressed like Lord Tirek did the same. Come to the dark side, we have cookies, I thought as I made my left turn.
The man led me to his stall, twisting around places in hopes the Dead Pools gave up looking. It took at least five minutes to finally lose them in the crowd... especially since I took off my broken Iron Man mask. From their point of view, I just looked like another sixteen year old ginger in the convention... which isn't rare with today's hair dye, but mine is natural... and darker than a year ago. The man pulled me over to his prop stand, "Kid, why were you running?!"
I may be short, but I'd rather not argue with the common nickname. "I was at ComiCon... long story short, Dead Pools were being jerks and I met their dark side here. At this point, I'd rather lose my honor than anything else."
The man's eyes seemed to glow yellow under his suddenly dark hood, "I don't think that word means what you think it means."
"You might be right, but its a long road 'till integrity I don't completely have," I commented, probably sounding stupid again.
His eyes glowed white as he smirked, "Fine. Though, I noticed your helmet's... um... unique state."
I frown as I looked at my Iron Man trash, "Their leader must've beaten it harder than I thought... It will be missed." Then I thought, "Or I can give it a Metal Gear makeover."
"I have a better idea!" He said, digging inside a sack of props, "These are left overs from another con. How about you buy this Mega Man helmet and I'll give you some free stuff," he held out a classic Mega Man hat, but I shook my head.
"I like the original, but X and Hub are my favs."
He dug around in a chest, "Great, I still have it!" He pulls out the requested helmet with other stuff I wish I had. "Buy this and get nine free things of your choice included. This stuff must go!"
Was he serious? He's serious. That glow in his... strange glowing eyes... What could go wrong?
Besides giving him my $20, it was worth starving for a day. As soon as I got up to leave the stand, I turned to see DJ Pool punch me directly in the unguarded face as everything faded to black...
I break him and as soon as I get the same garden fate, he goes for every rock pun good or bad. For a thousand years and--
Hoof steps. I hear hoof steps! I used my senses as my eyes as I noticed a fully grown mare and some little ponies. Buy our toys, buy harder! screamed in my head as their colorful bodies went from being lights to forms in front of my face.
"Hey, I heard of this!" my magic stone voiced shouted, only heard by the statues as they groaned in response. One of them cursing at me. "Well, flip you too Steve! ...Sorry Steve, I meant that for Carl the Hoof Eater." I turned my senses to Discord, making him feel my invisible smirk, "Its your time, brother! Be free so I can have a new sight!"
I felt him question me, which stopped as soon as three fillies began fighting. It was stopped by their teacher, but an unexpected outcome revealed itself as a brown colt playing Star Fox 64 on a loud 3DS exclaimed, "Do a barrel roll!" My chest made an audible chirping noise as I was forced back to normal, stuck inside a stone shell instead of being actual stone. All I could see was black, but all that changed what I summoned my scouter, seeing heat signatures as the teacher took the game system.
He walked up to me asking, "Woah, whose this guy?"
If I remember right, I was in my super saiyan form or another muscular form. I digress. The teacher told her student, "This is Fandom the Random, a fairly unpredictable foe the princesses defeated. He appeared out of nowhere with a magic sword that allowed him to phase through solid objects. Nopony knows his origin, but every telling of an encounter was different. At first the ponies thought it was multiple creatures until the princesses confronted him. He was turned to stone on their third try to defeat Fandom and stop him from destroying the planet."
I rolled my eyes, "Can I stop you there?" In my head I heard the statues gasp and though my stone chest I heard ponies gasp. "Don't worry, I'm stuck. I don't even want to harm anybody!"
The teacher gulped before stomping a hoof, "Bu- but, you stole children!"
"The Hybrid did it! I don't know how to cure DNAliens!"
"You destroyed crops!"
"A guy named Trance hypnotized me! He's in the history books, right? I mean he used his captive audience to be Pack the Ripper."
"That explains the murders..."
"I only murdered a cow, until I learned they could talk! I gave her remains a proper burial before I vomited," I actually saw some of the children circle around my front.
The teacher got in my face, which was above my free head, "Why did you attack Princess Luna?!"
"I was trying to contain an alien symbiote that attached itself onto Luna. Luckily it didn't take over her, but the magical properties corrupted Luna. Blame Celestia for Nightmare Moon since it could've been avoided." I sighed, "Enough about me, how's your life going? Must be hard being mother with all these kids."
I'm pretty sure she glared at me, "I'm a teacher." She replied in an even tone.
"Oh goodie! Do I get an A for history?!" Some children snickered, but not many. "Do you think Princess Celestia can join your class? I heard she's a big girl now." Silence. "I cant see your faces, can someone tell me if I crossed the line?"
An odd looking blob shook his head before replying with a dumb sounding voice, "Big time Fandom the Random!"
"I forgot to introduce myself?! How thoughtless as a sun god," I began to push at the walls, everyone backing up before the cracking stopped and my wimpy arms hung out of my stone pits. "Let's try that again..." I pulled my arms in, bursting out of the statue with my Hulk form before reverting back from a big green human to a fairly fit man that resembled a white-blue fusion of Max Steel and MegaMan X with a white Ben 10: Ultimate Alien ultimatrix. I unceremoniously fell on my face, raising a finger as I got up and took a poise, "I am the great Fandom Man!"
Some children ran away while a few just looked up at me, the brown button masher commenting, "Meh. I guess he looks cool." The teacher nailed a cheap shot at me, stopped by my Halo 4 energy shield.
I grabbed her, forcing my hold on her until I had the teacher in my arms like a baby, "Can you send a message to your princess?"
She struggled in my grasp so I turned into my basic saiyan form to compensate, she growled and scowled, venom dripping from her voice as she asked, "What?!" I nearly fell back, but my new tail held me like a tripod.
"Um... harsh. I think you just set free Discord, Lord of Chaos... So, um... can you tell Celestia to get her student and her friends to stop him? I would stop him, but I made a promise..." She looked over to where Discord once stood, only a pedestal. I put her drown slowly before whispering, "Hey, the crusaders didn't awaken him! I didn't expect this to be your fault."
I touched my ultimatrix, the ring hovering instead of popping up and being attached to the watch. I turned the ring until I found the DC comics - Justice League section, selecting the Thanagarian species. I pushed the ring back on the watch, getting a Max Steel/Ben 10 style transformation as I grew more muscular and brown wings spouted from my back as blue hexagons covered my suit, compensating for the changes. I didn't like War Hawk's suit style so I had my gear make some changes that give me goggles, a armored muscle shirt with wing slits and the legs down stayed the same except for my shoes gaining speed increasing rockets. On my chest was the ultimatrix symbol, dead center like in every transformation, but instead of a green-black hour glass it was a simple blue light.
Those who stayed and the newcomer guards watched in shock as my bigger form flexed my wings before flying off. Thanks to my lack of practice, my flight was unbearable... made worse by the pegasus guards chasing me. I summoned my mace out of my subspace pocket... then started singing into it. I worry about my mental health until I noticed a common phrase.
Im not a fan of puppeteers, but I have a knacking fear...
Discord just broke the earliest Pinkie Pie promise ever made!
"DISCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR-DUH!! YOU'RE FIRRRRRRRRE-DUH!!" The guards didn't understand my Cat in the Hat crappy movie reference, but they backed up as I tore through the sky towards a near by hedge maze, flames at my feet as I flew.
I selected my short cut selection, switching back to my saiyan form for the third time today. "Ultimate Level 2," I commanded my ultimatrix. As I flew my body changed to a muscle on muscle, spiked hair, wingless man that could fly with his own might... or how ever it worked. My ultimatrix spun over my chest as the changes were made until its color changed to a bright blue.
Instead of pressing it in and instantly going super saiyan two, I held it out like a friggin' Power Ranger. "Go, power armor!" The light turned green as I pressed the core onto my chest, the white-blue armor turning into white-green saiyan armor as the ring around the core gained four points like in an ultimate transformation. My Sonic styled red hair spiked up and changed to a gold color as sparks surrounded me.
I see him. Thanks to barely knowing anything from Prince of Persia, I sped up time to the appropriate moment where he sat on a counch in the maze. I flew down to him, stopping to sing in the mace still in my hand, but stopped and took out more of my weapons, but he screwed around with them too so I had to fist fight him.
I landed in front of him, dropping my weapons back in my subspace pocket as I neared him.
In a laid back tone Discord waved while greeting, "Wazz up, Oscar?"
"Can you freeze time? We need a moment..." I looked behind me as only an angry purple face stood out of the maze. I made no hesitation as I instantly appeared in front of him, punching the guy square in the face. "You promised not to mess with me or my stuff in your freedom. Too late to change that mis-"
Discord took a page from my book, turning into his version of Rath from Ben 10 as he rapidly punched me. I blocked every punch and stuck a sticky grenade that blew up in his face as I punted him away. I rushed towards him again, but he turned into a goo and covered me- taking a page from Buu, I'm guessing.
I teleported out of him as I changed to my Ben 10 settings, returning to my neutral armor as I changed into Vynal Scratch Echo Echo. I copied my self and ran all around him. In a metallic version of Nowaking's voice, all of me screeched, "Wall of Bass!" Though before glass-breaking noise could reach him, Discord snapped his talon fingers, destroying all but five Echos. They merged, changing into a red-white speed armored normal form as I rushed him.
I circled him as he fired some lasers at me. I returned to my saiyan form, obviously cant think of a good strategy either. "Change Attribute: Earth. Ultimate Level Two." The white of my suit turned brown as I sank into the ground, coming back out with a dirt covered uppercut to Discord's jaw as I tossed rocks in a combo and teleported behind him, firing a large stone made from my energy instead of an energy blast.
Discord stopped the boulder, using it as his pin ball as he forced me in it, having me bounce around the maze. I made the rock jump as I homed in on him and (converting into my mobian armadillo form) used the rock as my armor as I spun at him. My pause allowed me to rev the rock until I had a perfect spin dash, that he dodged until I used the new pin ball course to curve over and land on his head.
I then freed myself from my stone prison, the red on my body turning green as I kicked him with more force than I could normally muster.
"Wow! I'm missing my program, so if you're done...?" Discord said, filing his tiger claws. "That means you can go now." He put on 3D glasses and munched on popcorn as time slowly began to move.
I rolled my eyes, "Fine sore loser! I'm not done with you!"
"Of course you're not. Beat it kid," he snapped his tiger paw fingers as I appeared in Ponyville.
"OK. This is a dream... I open my eyes and I'm at home playing anything console related and not a bloody mess on a convention floor..." I carefully opened my right eye. "So far so- Its dark. Where am I?!" There was a noise and I was instantly alert, sitting up and looking around. Are those trees or people? On my wrist, a green light switched on.
*chirp. chirp.* "User Oscar Conners, would you like to run the tutorial program?" Iron Man's Jarvis said from my omnitrix, the light flickering at every syllable.
Like every genius, I gave a memorable response. "Say- whaaat?"
"What."
"Um... Who are you?"
"My current name is Jarvis in the A.I. files. You can call me anything you want."
Files? I wonder what voices he has, "You said there were an A.I. files?"
"Yes Oscar Conners, this is the A.I. setting menu. You can give and edit my appearance and change my voice, but I develop to your liking through learning. Are you talking about audio files or other files?"
"I'd like Cortana to give me the tutorial," I said hesitantly. I tried to get up, but some stuff way keeping me down.
"Compensating for gear... done Oscar Conners."
My body had a glowing blue light, allowing me to some-what see myself. I nearly fell back down at the height I stood at. According to senpai, I was still sixteen, but physically a weak twenty year old. I wasn't a stick, but I wasn't mister muscle.
I held the real version of Captain America's shield. My armor was the same, except amazing instead of... OK, think of an ugly pheonix dying and rising from the ashes as the most beautiful thing ever seen. It was white with glowing blue light, except for my glowing green omnitrix. Suddenly my right eye saw only green as a scouter came into view, showing a female person.
"This is a scouter."
"Attach the Eye of Dashi to the Sword of the Storm." Cortana said evenly. I'd might as well have Siri telling me what to do!
I flew around, my shield hooked on my feet like Kingdom Heart's Goofy as I kept my grip on the impossible sword and holding what I called "Eye of Dashie" at the con in my other hand, attempting to attach it to the handle. Instead, every time Cortana said "Eye of Dashi" a line of lightning would leap from the medallion or the sword would move too crazy to do the job I was assigned.
"Why is this sword acting like the Serpent's Tail?!" I cried out from the speed, we actually were pulled up and was house surfing while a mob followed below.
"Data not found."
"Well, you're useful!"
"Thank you. Might I suggest a transformation?"
Transformation? What? Oh, wait, I have an omnitrix. "Um... sure. What're you thinking?"
"Aliens: xlr8, Ghost freak. Copies: Raimundo, Thor, Flash. Attribute: Wind. Armor: Speed." I saw the list on my scouter in different categories. "Might I recommend the Wind and Speed combo for beginners?"
"Do it!" I shouted as my armor turned a gray-red color. My shield disappeared and I began running as the sword eased its jerking. This went so well to the point that the sword was in my control, but not my fate.
---PRESENT DAY---
"The past is in the paaast~! Let it go! Let it go! Cant hold me back any-~!" I stopped my singing again as I muffled my voice. I couldn't focus hard enough to fly so I was just walked a lonely road. "My shadow's the only one that walks beside me~!"
Suddenly the world surrounded in white as I turned to see a giant rainbow looming over Ponyville and a royal chariot flying towards the small town. I shrugged and willingly spat out my sock and took out my light saber, luckily a laser blade shot out instead of tiny fireworks. Seeing my saber, I turned it off and activated my scouter.
[A.I. Reboot: 20%]
"Do I have to do this myself, again?!" I groaned as I swiped some codes, creating a white mp3 player with a blue light.
"My name is the Great Fandom Man! Call me!"
I rigged the mp3 to be indestructible or at least replaceable, play any music and sound from anywhere, and never run out of power. I smirked as I tossed the tiny devise into the multiverse, watching the portal I opened close.
"Ultimate Sonic the Hedgehog," I commanded, transforming into my version of Super Sonic as I flew off.
*chirp. chirp.* [Cortana is Active] the ultimatrix chirped on my wrist. From the sky in my grey-blue armor, wearing my grey Iron Man helmet, I watched as my A.I. woke up.
"Hey, Cortana, long time no see!" I said into my mic. You thought you would get chief's girl? Nope! We found the multiverse equivalent of the internet and trust me, you don't want the real Cortana and your version Cortana meeting, but Roll? She's surprisingly cool with it. Anyway, I still call her Cortana and she found ways for me to channel magic through technology and equestrian magic. "What do you think we should do?"
"We should do a wide range scan, starting with ourselves. Who knows how many viruses you allowed inside!"
"I do not!"
"Taco Tuesday? Oh, and looks like some of those... lovely pictures made their way back in the system."
"I didn't... I don't know where it comes from..."
"Scans done. Holy square-one Bat Man! Clearly you need tactical training and I need to relearn lost spell codes. The armor is beaten still from Celestia's hammer. Oh, and we might need to worry about more gods... specifically Asgardian and Olympian. According to newspapers Lex Leathor, Pony Stark, and Buck Wayne exist along with alter egos and foes, two being Joker and Brute Banner a.k.a. the Hulk."
I stared at the screen with a slightly neutral look before landing on the ground with a sigh, "Its that time of year?"
"Did I mention Hydra and the Forever Knights? That and various more Displaced in this world, including Lego Craft and a migrating creeper village with Swampfire and Sam as their rulers."
"They're still together? Cute. Did they make those creepers?"
"No, but Box spawned one which grew in numbers."
"heh. Plants are weird." I looked around the field I landed in. No pony in sight. "Engage Pony Form! Pegasus!" My body returned to white and the blue lights changed red as my body changed, everything shifting into a pony form. When I was done, my ultimatrix pad desguised itself into a red fireball cutiemark. I was a white pegasus stallion with red wing tips, mane, and tail.
"Perfect as usual," said my flank. "Never mind. Oh, prepare to get REKT in 3. 2. 1..."
Out of nowhere, a giant green minotaur fell from the sky with so much force that riding the wind would send me to Saddle Arabia.
He got in my face, "HULK! HUNGRY!"
I wiped the spit off my face before repling, "Oxcar broke. Oxcar starving.Oxcar not scared."
"PEUNY PONY!!" He threw down his fists as I spun out of the way with more skill than a Wonderbolt... In my opinion.
"I'm a pretty pony, ya jerk!" I called before... kicking... his... shin... "I'm so sorry!" He grabbed me by my hooves and prepared to throw me. "Ultimate Level One: Hulk Humungosaur!"
"WAT U CALL HULK?! What the-?" I grew in size rapidly as I became Ultimate Humungosaur, a big green armored man-dino with the ability to turn my hands into rockets. That with Hulk's strength as a bonus with the ability to grow bigger at will. I fell on top of him and kept growing 'till I was bigger than him.
"I am Oscar Conners the Great Fandom Man!I AM the strongest there is," I said from on top of Hulk... in a sort of awkward position. I got up and performed Bowser's... what do you even call that attack? Rock bottom? Shell slam? Butt smash? Screw it! I friggin' Bowser Bombed Hulk!
I grabbed the horns on his head (thankfully too small to be of any use to him) and tossed him over my head. He landed on the ground as I fired some rockets from my hands... which feels so weird, you wont believe! I saw the fire in his eyes as he took some explosions to his face, rushing towards me.
"Cortana, activate my fire spells!"
"Didn't I just say we lost spell data?! I swear, you never listen. Fun fact: Hulk is fireproof in nearly every reality!"
I dodged him before swinging at him a few times and missing, feeling like I'm boxing him, "Where are my fire spells?!"
"This song sucks, but it will do," I said as I fell on my back and double kicked Hulk's chest. I then got back up, rushing to Hulk as I fired my rockets. I got close to him, firing some rockets as I punched his face. I think I'll call it a rocket punch. "Ultimate Level One. DJ PON3 Echo Echo."
"HULK SMASH DINO MAN!"
Just as his fist met my face, I shrunk to a small white alien with two tone blue hair and purple shades. My sent a screech his way, making him cover his ears as I pressed down on my hovering pad. The spikes returned on its ring as I grew to a tall, slender blue and white creature with the same blue hair and glasses and speakers all over my body. "Feel my wubs, bro!"
I tossed some flying speaker pads all around him, they charged up with an unknown energy. "CHAMBER BASS CANON!" Cortana shouted as the beams of blue energy fired all over him.
"I still don't get why you like Daft Punk." The continued talking like this as the green beast was replaced by a smaller, cream colored minotaur that just lied limp on the ground. "Stop! I think we defeated him!"
I returned to my pegasus form as I shook my head, "Did we seriously beat the Incredible Hulk with wubs?!"
"I blame his hunger." We neared... Brute Banner? Dr. Banner, stopping to see a needle in his neck. "What is that? WAIT A SEC! THAT'S A TRANQUILIZER!"
I suddenly felt Oscar's body swaying as if he was on a large ship, laughing at random pitches before he sang, "Gotta catch 'em all~! Pokeeeeeeemon~..." Once he fell over, I watched helplessly as I saw what looked a griffon TF2 Sniper, dragging Oscar's limp body across the grass.
"heh. 'Great Fandom Man', what a joke!" He turned his head and called out to an unseen partner, "Hey! Big green's all yours, mate!"
"Dude, I went pure green Hulk and I never fell to dubstep," I said as Brute Banner led us through some air vents. "Are you sure you're not a little angry?"
"I'm angry, but they put a drug in me..." He started to nod off before I snapped my fingers. "Look, guy, I'm tired... I haven't slept in a few days..."
"OK. We'll look for a safe spot for you to nap, geez..."
He snapped back, "Why don't you bust us out, if you're so great."
My white hoof met my face as I groaned, "Apparently, my voice commands cant be heard through titanium pants."
"He's dead! No! He cant be dead! What will I do? What will happen to me? What will become of me?!" Cortana continued her muffled rambling, warming my butt.
"I hope I sweat this off. I mean come on!" I was stopped by a hand on my mouth as pony Stormtroopers passed underneath. I rolled my eyes as I fell backwards through a vent opening.
"What're you doing?!" Brute cried out.
The leader of the Stormtroopers commanded, "Its the pony, fire!" Brute covered his eyes as flashes of red were seen. He opened his eyes to see the ground and wall around was black, but not a hair on his companion was hit, except for a part of his armored pants.
"What just happened?!"
"Cortana, integrate the titanium into repair material!" I commanded, turning back to the white armored space clones in front of me. "Ultimate Canonbolt!" The titanium glowed and suddenly the blue hexagons that covered part of me covered it as I shifted into a big blue creature that could roll up in a ball. I smirked as I rolled up, my spikes evident on my form as I began to rev myself like a spin dash.
"Fire your gun! Fire your guns!" The commander shouted with a pointed hoof.
"But commander, sir, we're trainees! You were supposed to give our first lesson!"
"Commander?! I'm just going out for lunch!" I rolled into the group as the higher ranked guy grabbed two guns off the ground, "Lunch safety my flank!" He began firing at me, actually hitting my shell.
I rolled towards him, "Ultimate Level One! Saiyan! Power!" I transformed into my super saiyan two form with my white-green power armor as I tumbled over to him, kicking his helmet off as I got near. "You have gotto be kidding me!"
Her face was grey and her eyes and mane were a brilliant gold color. I was fighting an earth pony Derpy clone trooper. She retained her male voice as she shot my face, the laser bouncing off, with a battle cry. Her head tilted, "What the tartarus?" She walked up cautiously, waving her gun at my expressionless face. "Your first training lesson, carry him to a cell."
The stormtroopers walked up, trying to lift me up. All they did was tip me over and trap a unicorn trooper, who tried to pick me up in her magic. I suddenly snapped out of my trance, instantly appearing behind the higher rank with her helmet back on. "Eh, what's up Doc? Ya like muffins?" The trainees suddenly piped up, looking for muffins.
"What's with every new clone having a friggin' muffin... addiction..."
We walked through the halls as I constantly poked the chill scientist, trying to release his inner demon. "... so that's when I woke up. Crazy dream all the way! Ya know? Any way, if those three punishments could happen in real life which would be worse?"
"I sort of forgot... or never cared at all."
"OK, well, the bullies could flag pole wedgie me or toss me in Fish Joe's shack or give me the mysterious Nikki Minaj torture. Which is worse? On second thought, I don't want to think about the last one..."
"Thank Celest-"
"I don't want to be near any anaconda! That song might not be about snakes!"
"shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup..." Listening to his reaction, I thought he would turn green. Nope. Not even a patch or a spasm.
"Oscar, I don't think its just drugs in his system."
"What was that Cortana? Probably didn't matter. Girls, only around to be tools!" I would've protested until I saw Dr. Banner quicken his pace. "If they die, there's another one around." From the scouter, I saw a guilty look in Oscar's eye and noticed that their pace quickened to a run. "I mean, sure we must have mutual respect. If I killed my girl friend, I wouldn't live with myself!" Brute kept running as we caught up. "Who are you running from brilliant Dr. Banner? Where are you going? Why are you running?"
We suddenly stopped as an olive green fist met Oscar's face, making blood trickle from his nose."THE WORLD! I've been running from the world, to make sure I don't hurt my friends!" He shrunk back slightly, turning back into a pure peach color as he took steady breaths. "I don't control the monster, he controls me! All of my coworkers died because of my mistake! I decided to man up and ask for he name, but my gama bomb was my waifu stealer." His glare stayed on me, "I'm aware your trying to make me angry with the singing, poking, explaining dreams, and whatever this sick idea was... *sigh* He is far too dangerous to let out."
I crossed my arms as my armored healed my face, "You need practice to discipline your power! Don't you think the Hulk is misunderstood?"
"HA! I think he's understood enough! Nopony likes me when I'm angry. Simple as that." He turned and started walking towards our idea of an exit.
Coffee soaked the monitor as Blu Pony Scout watched the fight between a bipedal creature with a tail with some sort of magic and their Stormtroopers. Another Blu Scout called their boss, "Sniper? Is boss there? ... No? ... The Fandom Man got out and he's- ... Understood, man."
I got in a battle stance as Stormtroopers blocked the hallways, aiming their guns. I slammed my down on my ultimatrix as the guitar solo played, turning into another one of my alien-fandom combos at random. My body became muscular as orange fur grew in place with black stripes, but instead of Rath's single claw on both hands, three adamantium claws took their place as my fur took a yellow-navy coloration.
I roared as my suit formed in the shape of Wolverine's X-Men suit and Luchador combination, "Let me tell you somthin' Stormtrooper Derpies that hurts to hurt! Rath is the best at what Rath do! But what Rath do, is not pretty."
As Darth Vader woahed over the hacked intercom, their commander commanded them to fire as I ran towards them with extended claws. As the second guitar solo played, I assume by Han, I leaped up and readied my ruthless assault. Bodies flew as my less intelligent form slice their guns and nearly gutted the ponies. "Fall back! Fall back, mares! Fall back!"
Turns out I got bored and took out a chainsaw... Why do I have that? "Property of Juliet Starling a.k.a Tara Strong? Skew labels!" I revved the chainsaw, scaring the braver troopers. "Let Rath cut you!"
"Oh, hey Ben 10 timing is on! hehe!"
I returned to my normal form, quickly switching weapons to my special pokeball. "Go Eevee Mon!" Instead of a bipedal Eeveemon, I got a normal, small Eevee.
He lied limp on the ground, "H-how am I s-s-still alive?"
I took out a Minecraft gold apple, and fed my pokemon, instantly healing him. "Sorry about the wait, Celestia got me stoned! OK, bad pun over. I need you to digivolve and torch these guys while I raid their fridge."
He spun around, transforming to his Digimon form. "Got it, boss. See if you can find some meat." He took a Flareon appearance as he ran down the hall and sent a line of fire down their way.
"You raided their fridge?" Brute asked as we walked, my special pokemon leaving a trail of trash in their wake. "What are those things?"
"My special pokemon. Eevee the pokemon in his digimon form. How can he become digtal, I cant explain," I said, pointing to the Leafeon Mon with a salad bowel on his head. "Atlantian Totodile the water pokemon," I motioned to the small blue armored alligator with a turkey on his trident and a steak in his mouth. "Cyborg Mew Two-"
Charmed.
Eevee Mon placed the bowel on Winged Kuriboh, stating, "Winged Kuriboh isn't pokemon, but he's our spy." He directed a clawed hand to a creature that looked like a unicorn on fire, "That's Ember the Rapidash."
Ember took another can in her red magic, "Nice to meet the green menace." She finally made eye contact with Dr. Banner, "We have a Shiney Shenron, but he's too big for this room. He grants three wishes for every gem we feed him." Brute Banner had a huge grin on his face. "Hold it, he only grants wishes within his power that wont destroy the world."
"I assure you, my wish will save the world," he said matter-of-factly. Everyone noticed the music as I smirked.
"He's in the air vents!" Cortana informed from a nearby loudspeaker, causing a bullet to destroy it from seemingly nowhere.
"Mew Two, can you make this a fair fight?" I asked, transforming into my saiyan form. Suddenly I was tossed out the way as Cyborg Mew Two saved me from... Cyborg Mew Two?!
He's a fake!
The NOT Mew Two in front of me tossed a knife at me before disappearing. Luckily, he didn't think of my physic pokemon that made his cloak useless as my ki blast was directed to the Blu Spy while Eevee Mon sent a fire ball inside the vents, drawing out the sniper that took us out. "Blimey!"
I rushed towards him with ki charged up, but he tossed... IS HE FRIGGIN' SERIOUS?! As I was internally complaining about the jar of piss that broke in my face, Totodile downed a gallon of water, combining his water gun and Eevee Mon's ice blast, freezing the sniper. He stared at him, "Did you seriously- That was my foe...!"
Ember just sat there, "Well, you didn't call dibs. Can we escape now? I need a hooficure more than a slap fight."
She glowed red as she returned to her pokeball. "And I don't want sass."
Totodile bit the sniper's gun in half, but didn't expect his knife. Luckily Mew Two stopped it and tossed the blade from the handle to the spy. He hit a dummy instead and the spy drop kicked the pokemon, wearing a Hershey Kiss hat. "Zu thought zu could get me? HA! I fought brain readers better than zu!"
Let me guess, a white hedgehog?.
Spy dryly asked, "What?"
You fell for my trap. Before spy could react, the ceiling fell on him... I'm sure he's fine... right?
Eevee Mon kept dodging attacks, smirking every time the sniper missed a shot with his pistol. Behind him, Totodile finished praying to... Posidon or Neptune? Whatever water god that gives him power, causing his speed to increase as he knocked the sniper's gun out of his hand and impaling him... that's just red ink. Stupid pens!
In the sniper's place, another sniper and two heavy weapons griffons took his place as a medics pulled the possibly-not-dead sniper and definitely dead spy to safety.
Dr. Banner stayed out of the fight, trying to become one with the wall he pushed himself against. "You're doing great. Beat 'em."
Me (in my normal form) and Mew Two created energy shields to deflect and block the endless bullets, the shells integrating into my armor as I checked my batteries. I was tempted to take out my American Shield, but the pokemon next to me had another idea.
Oscar, can you allow me access to the information of every good Hulk?
"Possibly, but it might tell the possible future."
"No, I'll exclude some details."
Then we begin! I placed my right hand on Mew Two's head as the digital information was converted into psychic waves that were focused into Brute Banner's head. Not only was Brute fighting the info, but so was his version of Hulk. Slowly, but surely they stopped fighting as the minotaur slowly grew in size and changed colors.
The heavies stopped laughing when their attention fell on the raging green beast that ran up to them. "Hulk Smash! Got it memorized?!" Hulk shouted as he clapped a shock wave at the gunners. As a safety precaution I return all my pokemon, but Mew Two, to their pokeballs as I ran after Hulk. Luckily, he left a huge hole into the wall leading to the outside. Before I could step out, a huge green hand picked me up from my ankles.
"No hard feelings, right?" I asked, watching as Mew Two laughed yet got ready to fight.
Hulk glared at me, "You still owe Hulk lunch. Or is it dinner?"
I took out a brown bag, "Take my potatoes, man!" He smirked, taking them. As soon as he made contact with my hand, Cortana transferred recycled metal the we didn't need, giving him his Planet Hulk armor and sword. The surprise caused him to drop me.
Over my repaired chest and ultimatrix speakers, Cortana spoke aloud, "Hi, my name is Cortana. That sword can not harm the innocent and that armor will transform into anything you and Dr. Banner would want to wear." He shrugged before jumping away.
"Did you really just do that?" I asked, returning Mew Two to his pokeball.
"He could be useful in the future. Let me summon Kevin's Car." A portal opened as a green muscle car with two black stripes appeared. I quickly entered through the open window as soon as I heard a heavy's voice. I sped off as the colors turned into white-red instead of green-black, signalling my control of the car.
From inside an out-of-place white-red vehicle- what the humans call a muscle car -a conversation was going on between two unusual creatures about unknown things. This is their story.
"What about Fairy Tail magic?"
"Well, I have one spell in that category."
I thought about it, "What is it and can you perform it?"
"Bibitty. Bobitty. BOO!" The muscle car spat us out, transforming into a metal pumpkin as I comidically bounced on my butt from the force, ruining the black gala dress- that used to be my seat belt -that surrounded my suddenly clean armor. I got up, but the pumpkin knocked me on my face, making me drop my brown-black tiara the used to be the steering wheel. "So that's what it does!"
I rolled onto my back, "At least our magic works..." I said as I slowly sat up. An alarm went off on my ultimatrix. 12:00AM. I heard a honk as my dress and pumpkin were replaced with a motorized vehical that stood over me.
"Car's back."
"I see that."
"Wanna turn it into an orange?"
If she wasn't a program in my suit, I would've glowered hard while snapping, "NO!"
We continued driving on some unnamed road, a thought came to me, "How do we still have a full tank of gas?"
"I don't know. All I care about is fixing the flux capacitor, at the moment."
"Why? This thing doesn't really travel through time." Our conversation ended, once a rainbow blur fell from the sky and destroyed the car. This time I landed on m y feet, looking back at the car lacking parts of its front half... that suddenly burst into flames. "My ca-"
"NO! You are NOT dragging that running gag here!"
"But, its my favorite car!" I complained.
"That thing is an oblivion magnet, unlike the bat mobile. You know it, to be true!"
"I am not driving the bat mobile!" I countered.
"HEY!" I turned my attention to an angry blue pegasus with a rainbow colored mane and tail. "Who or what are you?!"
I paused the scene and back tracked to "ACT 1 PART 1" and retrieved my stone label and added to it. I pressed play on my remote, displaying my plaque. "I am the Great Fandom Man. I victim of young Celestia and probably being chased by the wiser and more trustworthy Celestia. I would be a hero if I wasn't seen as the bad guy."
Rainbow pony stared at me with a tilted head, "You talk too much." She got into a battle stance, "You're seen as a bad guy for a reason! I'm here to stop you!"
"Stop me from what?"
"I dunno, but I will stop you."
I reached into my pocket and took out my mantis flip coin, "If you're going to fight me, them let's minimize the damage." I held out my coin, "Touch it and let me do the rest."
"What?!" She examined the devise in my hand. It appeared to be a red and gold coin with a small, square hole in the center. "What are you playing at?"
"Simply kicking your flank at the cost of my weakest magical items. Just touch it." She slowly placed her hoof on the shen gong wu. "Rainbow pony, I challenge you to a xiaolin showdown. We both wager nothing, its just a simple arena. We have an equal power and equipment. A "no rules" fight. The winner gets the mantis flip coin." We locked eyes, "Do you accept?"
"Uh... sure?"
I smirked as I started the battle, "Gong Yi Tan Pai!"
We were pushed back as the coin flew into the air, spinning before embedding itself into the center of the ground. Our surrounding changed from a dirt road with a wrecked car and a tree next to a flower bed to an apple orchard themed battle arena in the sky. We both wore similar armor as we prepared to fight.
As soon as her hoof and my knee met each others faces, we snapped our attention to the scream of alarm.
On another- much smaller -land pillar, five ponies sat. They looked around in startled alarm. Rainbow pony looked over to me, growling, "Why are my friends here?!"
"I don't know!" I then pointed to a statued god that stood with my pokemon and shiny Shenron, "Why is Discord here?!"
Within the group, a pink pony sat with a box of popcorn and a couple of balloons, "I knew my stiff ears meant popcorn and movie, but not this!"
Twilight, the only pony I remember, called out, "Rainbow Dash, what is going on?!"
Rainbow replied as loud, "I don't know! I challenged this guy to a fight and all of this happened!" I used her distraction to elbow her head, knocking her down. Her friends tried to help, but an invisible barrier kept them from doing so.
I prepared to knock her out, but she used her wings and hind legs to slide across the ground before gaining air. I took out my eye of dashi and began firing lightning bolts at her as she flew around. She quickly turned to me, easily creating a sonic boom towards me. I barely dodged the attack, dropping my sword of storms as she dived. Said sword was forced into the pony's mouth by pink magic.
Twilight exclaimed, "Rainbow, that's the sword he used to control wind!" After being given a look she added, "Just swing it around."
Rainbow flew around, sending strong gusts of wind at me. I whipped out another shen gong wu called the Two Ton Tunic, transforming the brown wool shirt into a heavy metal chest armor, my knees nearly buckling from the weight. I quickly turn it back into wool and discarded it, selecting a transformation in my ultimatrix.
I quickly transformed into Gravattack, a red person-sized planet creature with gravity powers, hence the name. I pulled my limbs to my body as I shifted into a sphere shape, flying over to Rainbow Dash. All of the ponies gasped as I flew, but there was a white unicorn that actually screamed. As I got near, I pulled Rainbow into my gravity before forcing her to rapidly orbit me before sending her to the ground. I turned to the ponies watching, "Are you going to cheer her on or am I going to make this emotionally brutal?"
"GO RAINBOW DASH! YOU CAN WIN! DON'T GIVE UP! I'M SHOUTING STEREOTYPICAL WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT BECAUSE THE AUTHOR RAN OUT OF PHRASES!"
"Oscar, she's one of them!"
I transformed into Cannonbolt, still in a ball shape, falling with enough force to make a crater. As the cheering continued, I noticed a rise in altitude that didn't come from a bounce. Below, the pony bucked me into the sky before she instantly appeared in front of me, bucking me again with great force. That forced unballed me, but what happened next was amazing. She flew over to me in break neck speeds, a rainbow keyblade in her mouth.
All I could get out was, "What the f-" Before a series of pain followed. Luckily I reverted to normal, taking out my own keyblade- a barrel of a tank with two knives sticking into it with the token being a tiny me with Cap's shield -and we held a glare as our blades crossed. She pushed me back, causing me to roll backwards and fire a rocket at her. She defelected it before hovering around and firing magical blasts at me, like Sora in his wisdom form.
The ponies just watched as I walked off into the sunset. I have my coin, but I'm not allow to say if I won or if the girl gave the coin to me in pity. All you get is the fact that we respect each other as rivals and I'm being allowed to walk away as if this never happened.
From behind, Pinkie Pie reminded the group that I escaped the Canterlot Garden leading to my sudden sprint as I was being chased by girls.
The magic school bus- driven by the handsome-to-himself Oscar Conners "the Fandom Man" -flew in the form of a tiny helicopter.
There was some turbulence, causing a clatter at the back of the bus. Oscar turned his head to his left, "I said 'Seat belts, everyone' for a reason Crash Bandicoot!" He scolded the life sized plushie, "Why cant you be like Dora over there?!" He pointed to the plastic Hispanic girl behind him.
On the dashboard, Cyborg Mew Two placed Crash back in his seat, buckling the seatbelt with his telekinetic powers.
Oscar looked at the mirror above his head, "Doctor Who 4 and 12, stop messing with Star Trek: Voyager Holo Doctor!" Behind their seat, Eevee Mon, leaned over and straightened the cardboard Hologram Doctor cut out and the mannequins at his side, fixing 4's scarf and 12's wig.
Eevee Mon sat back down, voicing, "But he dissed my bow tie!" Changing his voice, "I did not!" "Oh, yes he did!" "It was the Doctor!" Changing to another voice, "Would you like a Jelly Baby?"
Will you guys just shut- I cant do this any more. Mew Two turned his head to me, Just because we're driving a magic bus does not mean you must act like a bus driver.
Near by, Ember moved around some figures with her magic, making Barbie say, "But we don't want to go!"
Eevee Mon took out a tiny Doctor Whooves, "Yeah!"
Totodile nodded as he controlled Ultron and Pinocchio, saying, "Totodile! Toto!"
"Watch your mouth, kid!" I said, "You wont be a real boy at that pace!"
Wake me up when this is over... Mew Two said as he returned to his Master Ball.
Kuriboh summoned himself as he took Mew Two's place. The ride was peaceful, until Ken and tiny Ghost Rider got in a fight, courtesy of Totodile and Ember.
"What are we doing here?" Cortana asked dryly.
The Bee Bus sat on the ceiling of a disgusting apartment, looking up to the ground where a human DeadPool slept in his chair. From the bus, a line of webbing lowered Fandom Man in his Spider Man + Spider Monkey form. As his bottom arms and his legs lower him, he focused on the Merc. "What? I can have Wolverine DNA, but not DeadPool?"
"You seriously want voices in your head?"
I looked down at my ultimatrix on my chest, "No! ...maybe..."
"You're aware that you're going to die, right?"
Looking up from Cortana, I quickly swung on a new web as a giant blade came my way. Using my spider sense, I landed and ran down the blade as DeadPool mockingly screamed about- A gross spider? Yeah that. What?
This story suck so bad, I'm going to fix this train wreck! The mighty DeadPool swung at his tiny foe, watching my futile movements as he aimed for blood. Or splatter, whatever works. He saw the terror in my eyes- I'm wearing a mask! Shut up. DeadPool saw the terror on my mask and the shoot in my pants- I'm as small as a roach, how can you see those details? Besides, where do you think most of the web is coming from?
"Time to exterminate!"
"Whatever Dalek!"
I hack into the author's fimfiction account and jury rig part of the story. "Beautiful!" As Way Big, I lied there dead and half his size. He grabbed my ultimatrix, ripping it out of my chest as the bus's magic left it. OK, yes I was Way Big, and still shrunk, I was half your size, but you didn't kill me! Why not? One of us has to die!But you're not the main character, ergo you cant kill me yet. He then paused thinking, Why am I after his genes again?
Actually, I was lucky to find Wolverine before Weapon X, witnessed the death of a Hulk Displaced, and was sent into the future and got DJ PON3 DNA. Now I need to relearn new and old magic as well as gain new DNA from heroes and villains alike. That is the worst idea for an OP OC, ever! I looked up at him, quickly grabbing his leg But we've only met! and taking a quick blood sample before vanishing into nothing as Nanomech.
What? No epic battle? You'll have to wait for part two, dude...
From outside of DeadPool's apartment, a bus was parked. Out of the double doors was Oscar, hooking up stereos to a worried looking yellow school bus that looked out of place in this magical pony world. He pressed play, blaring familiar musics in a mix.
DeadPool called down from his window, "I would like to use my own track-" He suddenly stabbed me in the back, "-but, this is cool."
As "Peanut butter jelly" was said, my "body" turned into smoke, revealing a dummy as I swung my two identical Keyblades as he countered and blocked with his katanas in rapid succession. Sparks and flaming fists flew from our weapons as they clashed. Suddenly we backed up as he started firing at me. I took out Cap's shield, tossing it at him as I turned into my version of DeadPool.
"We have that form? Might be useful." An elegant voice in my head said.
"No! He should use Rath! He's a scarey kitty!" A crazy voice cheered with joy as we mirrored each others attacks.
"Oh, great, he can hear us..." a similar elegant voice said.
"I get a clone, awesome!" the similar crazy voice said.
We kept fighting as our unpredictable dance moves and other slight movements caught us both off guard. The healing factor was good, but its a deal breaker.
"Go, Oscar! Go! Aim for his-" "Go, Wade! Go! Aim for his-"
"OoooOoOohhh~ Spooky!" DeadPool commented.
I placed my hands on my smooth silk mask, "I'm just a recolored DeadPool! How does DeadPool win if DeadPool fail, but if DeadPool fail then how the f*dge do I win?!" I messed with my ultimatrix, scaring the voices and Cortana.
"Oscar, don't do it!" Cortana shouted as Alien X appeared.
"Bad idea, sir. Alien X shouldn't be messed with."
"Fine! I wont merge an insane merc with a god-like being! I'll just become the god-like being!" I slammed the ultimatrix down, my body turning black and starry with two blue eyes and three spikes coming off my head.
Inside the realm of Alien X's head, instead of the two usual personalities with me last time I took the form, I got new personalities. Instead of the voice of love and voice of aggression, I got... Mario and Luigi.
Mario's bodyless head glared at me, being the voice of aggression here. "You-a do know this is-a bit overkill?"
Luigi's rotated his head, "Don't be like that brother, he wasn't in the right mind."
I shook my head, "All in favor of retaining this memory while changing into... something else instead of Alien X?"
They nodded their head, replying in sync, "Motion Carried."
"Oscar, don't do it!" Cortana shouted as Alien X appeared.
"Bad idea, sir. Alien X shouldn't be messed with."
"Fine! I wont merge an insane merc with a god-like being! I'll just become the god-like being!" I slammed the ultimatrix down, my body growing and my suit turning red and slightly armored, a tail growing, and my bones shifting and changing. When I was done, I looked down at DeadPool then to myself. "Seriously? A Red Ranger Humungosaur? I don't even know much about-"
"I killed the dinosaurs!" DeadPool cried as he stabbed me in the lower chest. I took his katana out and grew to a bigger size, my increased size making me stronger as I stomped at him and tried to body slam the merc, but he kept teleporting. "Hope you don't mind- and you wont -I'm picking the song, now!" He attached an iPod to my speaker system.
Eevee Mon messed with the settings on the speakers, two songs mingling as one.
We circled each other as we closed in and started slapping each other. I punched him with my huge fist and proceeded to make random, spazzed movement and poises. I jumped up, causing an explosion as I threw random kicks and punches. I took out my sword and began to block his gun fire. He started clobbering my head with a wooden mallet. I grabbed him, ramming him into the apartment wall as I became DJ PON3 Echo Echo.
One of my clones changed the song as we were locked in a staring contest that I lost at.
We ran up to each other, before he can fire his rocket launcher I screamed sound waves at him as he appeared behind my back to arch an overhead kick, but a clone formed, catching his leg. "I might leave Cable for you~."
Mockingly, one me hung over the me holding his leg as another me was on the ground looking, sadly at me. "I'm taken." I screamed at him as more clones screamed under him, sending him skyward. So was all of the other little white DJs. I compiled my clones into a falling chamber of noise.
He started slicing us in halves, luckily we had a self destruct mechanism to kill us into powder. Why is that good? Our spare Echo wasn't bound to us so transformed into Wolverine Rath that was shot from a cannon directly at DeadPool as he neared the ground. They began punching at each other as they fell.
"Reintegration Complete. Oh, you're fighting with brute force. Great plan."
"Rath is best plan! Rath will win!" I took out a tiger paw themed keyblade as I kept DeadPool in the air with each swing. But DeadPool took his Two Ton Tunic, making his attacks useless! He then aimed his rocket launcher and fired at my face- It turns out I was in the form of Martian Manhunter- You cheater! Who has my tunic? You dropped it in your battle with Rainbow Dash! I pushed my way into DeadPool's mind, finding it to be like Alien X, but trashy.
"Stuffy, he's hearing us again!"
"I can see that, Crazy."
Three DeadPools stopped playing cards, turning their attention on me. "Oh, its you. Get out of my head."
"You playing poker?" I asked.
"I'm playing poker, Stuffy is playing UNO, and Crazy is playing "Paper, Tx, Thursday".Can you leave?"
"Yeah, do you mind?"
"Tax day is Monday- Not helping!"
"I cant physically beat you, since you have a healing factor and I'm undertrained." I paused with a smirk, "So we're playing a mind game."
"DeadPool isn't game, but I am. Here, I'm Wade Wilson and the head voices rather than my alter ego." Wade explained, changing the scenery to a chess board.
"I don't think I have a form that can play chess in someone's head..." I commented, leaving his mind as DeadPool cheered at my defeat.
"Looks like somebody got butt-hurt!" DeadPool shouted. I returned to my normal form and drove off in the magic school bus... suddenly being chased by the merc and some guards that arrived late to the scene of disaster.
"Focus. Focus... Now channel your ki to the surface..."
"So download 'Magic for Dummies'?" I asked, browsing with my holographic monitor.
"FOCUS!"
"On what?!"
"OK, I'm going to teach you magic and the programs will return. Now focus on your ki."
"Why ki? Chakra sounds better."
"Because, you need to learn ki to learn magic, alchemy, or intense ninja abilities. Also, you go super saiyan and can only punch more than pulp out of your enemies? Goku could do more."
"Goku cant control his ape form."
"Because he doesn't have the ability to merge Grape Ape's form to mellow its rage."
(1000+ years ago)
I hid inside a cave, scared at who was looking for me. It was Freeza and he looked like our fight was fun, while I got the full beatings. Luckily I turned into Swamp Fire to regenerate my limbs as the Swamp Fire displaced had his hand on his face, "Dude, you call yourself great and prove that you can turn into a giant alien, yet this guy is freaking you out?!"
I turned to him, fear evident in my eyes, "Yeah, I turn into Way Big and he uses his planet destroying powers to kill me. Great plan!"
Drake Long the American Dragon Jake Long displaced joined us within the cave in his dragon form, "OK, Fandom Man, we need you out there!"
Once all my limbs returned I slammed my hand on my omnitrix, reverting me to my normal form, "What should I do?! He is much stronger than me in my saiyan form- Look at him! I have never seen a golden Freeza before!"
"So no super saiyan god form?"
I threw my hands in the air, "What is that?!"
Cortana didn't have a private mode back then, so everyone heard her when she spoke, "Might I recommend the Great Ape?"
"Cortana, you're speaking my language, but its too risky!" I said into my omnitrix. Drake nodded.
"Not if you combine him with Grape Ape."
Drake and Swamp Fire looked to each other, shrugging as I pondered on the idea. "Well, at least its some control." The screen slid back and the ring popped up, "Let's do this!"
"F.M. NO!" Swamp Fire shouted as I ran out of the cave, growing in size and gaining fur. My omnitrix symbol took on its Ultimate Beast look for the first time as claws gripped my chest instead of smooth, orderly spikes. My body grew to the size of a mountain and my eyes turned red and my fur a dark purple.
Freeza stood there shocked while I have a goofy grin that showed my powerful, sharp teeth. He looked up at my face, "What the hell are you supposed to be?"
I rose my fists, "Great Grape Ape! Great Grape Ape!" I started laughing as I clapped my hands together, repeatedly crushing Freeza.
(Present)
"In fact, you barely had control over that form!"
"I did! You're just not my mommy."
"Did you really just say that?"
"I did have control! Not full control,but control."
"I think I can see why Discord likes you so much."
"I already have a rival. What were we doing again?"
"Congrats, you learned some weak magic! You can now use topic change to throw others off guard."
"That's a magic?"
"We used it to convince Tirek to ignore us and Discord to murder less."
"That was us? I thought he got tired of killing Lego." The bus- drivel by Mew Two -made an abrupt stop, flinging me off the top of it. Forces, we hate 'em. Am I right?
We're here. Mew Two said. I pulled my head out of the ground to see... A town full of awesome displaced, horrendous OCs, alter ponies and mixed races, loads of tech, and some element benders. The last one is obvious because there are little children playing with a giant boulder ten times their size.
Everybody gave a quick glance before returning to their "Whoville"-like doings, except for some displaced humans gushing over my Cyborg Mew Two driving the Magic School Bus with a Kuriboh on the dash board. I got up and held my arms out, waiting for a cleaning spell before remembering my lack of spells and brushing the dirt off me. I looked over to Mew Two, "Where are we?"
This is Displopolis. We are going to be staying at a friend's place for the remainder of Season 2.
A soon as he said that, a pink kid materialized overhead, "You made it! Its so nice to finally meet you!" The Mew themed kid said. He had pink skin, big blue eyes, a Mew hat with a tail, blue hair peeked out of the hat, and his own tail. He wore a bright blue shirt and shorts with a shiny Mew head stitched on his back pink pocket. "You even brought the 'loser' you were talking about, Two!" He commented, pointing a small finger at me.
I glared at him, "Who are you calling a loser?! I'm Oscar Conners the Great Fandom Man!" The city stopped to laugh, before returning to their business.
"Sorry Mr. Conners. My name is Mew! Moe Mew!" He smirked, but then it fell slightly. "...And yes, I came up with that name myself. I don't see what's wrong with a name change? I mean, it must've took a while to come up with Oscar Conners!"
"...That's my actual name..." I muttered.
He clasped his hands together, "You poor soul." He flew off with the others as I parked the bus back into subspace. When I turned from the portal, I saw ten Sonic OCs, six of which recognized me.
"Oh, hey guys." I said, attempting to pass them. They blocked me from my path, "What do you want?"
A Sonic with black shoes and no gloves grinned, saying, "You're in the wrong neighborhood, bub."
I casually selected my Wolverine Rath, transforming and looking down at them, "What you say to Rath, bub?" My claws came out as I growled, glaring at him. The Sonics got in fighting, ready-to-race, or stretching positions.
That was the first time my Rath mix was knocked to the ground and mugged by a bunch of Sonic the Hedgehogs.
"Remind me, again, why there's Equestria Girls and my rival's depressed best friend?" I asked Mew on this fine afternoon in his motel room.
"Oh, the girls aren't real. They're android M2 helped me build a year ago." He paused, hovering off the ground, "We're telepaths. You can be petrified by harmony magic and still think, no?"
"I guess so. Anyway, why is Box here?" I asked, nudging my head towards the white boxed hooved pony with the messy flame hair and pencil cutie mark laying on the pink couch. His fur was matted and he was covered in stains as if some foals had crayon and thought he was a wall. "He doesn't look too good."
His blue eyes surrounded with red looked over to me, "You just had to one-up Lego in every way, didn't you?" I had no response to the drunk-sounding stallion. He sat up, holding a blue pillow, "You were turned to stone by your lack of control over your power and Lego Craft was sent to a dungeonfor killing the last chocolate cow."
"What? There's no such think as a 'chocolate cow'- there's some serious bull going on."
"Was that supposed to be a pun?!" A unicorn horn materialized on his head as he tried to fire at me. "How about you have an immortal family member stuck in prison with mortals?" He fired again, missing me before his horn disappeared. "He's probably gave up waiting for me..."
I turned into my version of Wolverine and sat on a blue chair, crossing my legs, "Actually, he hasn't. I actually had a reunion with him recently." Mew was about to stop me, but he was stopped by Mew Two.
Box glared at me, "Don't toy with me-"
"I'm serious!" I cut him off, "I was summoned by a displaced and summoned him from their world. He had a nether portal open so in mid-combat I met future you. Spoilers: he actually showered. Did you know Lego kicked me in the face?"
"SHUT UP!" Box yelled. "I came here to find a purpose not talk fairy tale prophesies with a heartless jerk!"
"Heartless jerk? Dude, this isn't false hope. Twilight Sparkle becomes a princess and a bucket load of changes happen." Fake-human Twilight and her friends got in a group hug as Fake-human Pinkie short circuits from her joy. I held my hands up, "What happens in this room stays in this room." Mew Two revived Pinkie, who frowned at the news.
"No party?" she asked.
I looked over to her sadly, "No party." Then I smirked, "Unless I get a-"
"You haven't established residence here. The cupcake is for visitors."
I shrugged, returning to my normal form, "Fine. But, didn't get a cupcake."
"I didn't expect a humanoid tiger to get jumped by Sonics," Pinkie replied, walking off with her friends. Box began laughing a tame laugh that got him smirking. A cupcake was rolled over on a plate on wheels, bumping into my foot.
You only get one. - Pinkie Pie. P.S. My last pen ran out of ink.
"Focus."
Focus.
"Focus..."
...on our voice.
I was starting to have calm, shallow breaths when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I opened one eye to find a nervous Mew, "What's up?"
OH, COME ON! Mew Two shouted. On my scouter, Cortana filled the screen with tables, her now 8-bit body flipping every table in her [ >:( ] . It was actually cute.
"Sorry to interrupt, but I was informed that I was making a cake for the Displopolis anniversary party." He took out a page of instructions, "My sugar supplier is having wagon problems. I need you to bring him to 'Powerpuff Cafe' from Our Town."
I blinked, "This is a town?"
"No!Our Town is the name of an equalist community that rivals Amon's Territory. Dumb town names aside-"
*DONG! DONG! DONG!*
Mew checked a watch that came from nowhere, looking pretty spooked, "Noon? Not enough time! You're going to have to take a shortcut!"
I got up asking, "Any ideas?"
"Above the clock tower, there's a ghost pirate ship. It used to belong to the Flying Dutchman, but Casper owns it until the drunk can pay his sky rent. In the ship there's a portal dubbed 'the Purfume Isle' that will take you to Our Town... the town."
I nodded, "Make a Spongebob reference, grab the sugar wagon. Add some montage music and I'm set!"
"Be warned, there are no powers in the isle and the perfume is French. While I'm shopping I must know: Can you handle this?"
I emerged from the portal, smelling like wine and piss. "I couldn't do it, but I survived!" I gasped. Looking at the clock on my ultimatrix- eat your heart out Ben Tennyson! -I was losing time. As I neared a safe distance, I altered my Pegasus form to create and control winds (without doing work) to my advantage. I slammed down on the hovering ring, falling to the ground as the transformation was sudden.
I was a grey Pegasus with a red mane/tail with my ultimatrix disguised as a fireball. Magic pulsed on my wings as I took off, debatably faster than Rainbow Dash, but control was another lost factor. I bounced off building after building with the grace of a pinball. I think I even heard pinball clinks and clanks!
When I met the ground, I looked up to see ponies... with creepy smiles... saying 'welcome' in the same tone. I felt something move from under me, looking down I landed on a pink pony... I'm not going to describe how she looking under my butt.
There was a pony that noticed this, asking, "Can you get off Starlight Glimmer, please?" I quickly did so, including making some wind to clean her off as I floated her to her hooves.
"Whoops! Sorry 'bout that ma'am." She had a faux smile, for good reason too! I took out the list, "I'm looking for a... Party Favor. He was supposed to arrive in Displopolis with some sugar, but we were informed that his wagon broke."
Starlight gave a bigger smile, "I know where he's at. Allow me to take you to him." We left the town, walking up a mountain trail to a cave... with a giant ipad. "Did you know cutie marks are a curse?"
"I've heard."
"Really?! By who?"
"You." Flicking my tail, I turned into a pink-white unicorn with my ultimatrix disguised as a pink five-point star surrounded by four-point stars. "In fact, I could agree."
She had a face that looked straighter than that Double Diamond guy, "What are you?!"
"I used to be earth pony 24/7, but some unicorn hit me with a changeling spell before I got my cutie mark. I'm every race of pony, now. Anyway, I was skeptical as a feather brain and now I'm using all of my brain. I have... I think five marks on me."
Starlight shook her head, resuming sanity, "Well, I can take them away if you want?"
We stopped directly in front of- is that Box's cutie mark in the glass? And spilled milk? Ablue pony turned to me, eyes filled with pain, and smiling as he said, "Welcome!" Before I could respond, I blacked out.
I woke up to screaming and a crowbar being tossed at my head.
Starlight Glimmer had my bound on a table, trying to pry off a picture on my butt. I was still a unicorn, but I had no magic skill so I flicked my tail at one of my ultimatrix pads. I shifted into a brown earth pony with a green mane/tail and green ultimatrix disguised as emerald.
"Lady, if you wanted my butt so bad you could've asked me on a date," I said with a sly grin. I hope it was sly, I cant see my face. I probably smouldered or something!
"Cut the jokes-"
*screeeeeee*
"Well, I cut something there!" I have to admit, if I lost all of my super powers my gas would be my only redeeming super power. Starlight stopped pulling on my flank, falling back with a groan. "Light weight." I tried to break free with no luck. "Cortana, I need Goop."
"Are you sure?"
"Its too late to save that party guy and the longer I'm here- How much time do we have?"
"A minute."
"Give me Nightcrawler." My body turned into green smoke, reappearing next to the bindings as my version of the X-Men's Night Crawler with a green-white suit for a power boost. I ran out the door, teleporting into the sky. I found the sugar wagon and teleported to it, knocking out the ponies guarding it.
"You cant teleport your way to Displopolis from here."
"Watch me." I added Upgrade to the form mix, turning the wooden wagon into a make-shift armored vehicle. I sped by their junk yard, grabbing things to add as I teleported the cart to a great spot to use the found boilers as jet engines. I grew plane-like wings and flew us in the direction I faced.
"Displopolis is in the other direction!"
"Crap." I turned the vehicle as ponies pointed at me. "Give me Alien X! ... Never mind. I tried convincing them, but they wont help..."
"Yeah, I can see why."
"I wish I could instant transport... Or whatever Goku called his teleportation." I found myself in my super saiyan 2 form, holding the cart as junk fell around me.
"You did it once and you can do it again! Focus on your ki and imagine-"
"How will that help?! I cant see ki!"
"Imagine a waterfall, dang it!"
I closed my eyes, picturing a stream of water and the outhouse next to the Café Mew took us to on day two of being in the city. I opened my eyes, watching as we were there with the wagon of sugar. I quickly gave the sugar to Mew, who took it in his powers as I ran to the boy's room.
I let Guile's theme play out as the DJ worked on repairing her tech. Why was it broken? A Mega Man was competing with Metal Gear's Snake for Samus' heart and got a little clumsy with the metal blades. Robotboy from "Robotboy" flew over, apologizing for his friend's actions. Doc the "Doctor Who" Displaced- his appearance changes from David to Matt while keeping his outfit, voice, and buzzed hair the same -attempted to out dance "Five Nights at Freddy's" Marionette Displaced.
I watched sadly as Ember gave her pokeball to Box, leaving me to find someone to replace her. This celebration- besides the parties -reminds me of something. "Beautiful, isn't it?" I looked to my left to see Dexter from "Dexter's Laboratory", but he had a different suit. Sure it had its changes that most displaced would add to their original wardrobe or had their change in style, but most of this was recognizable.
"Are you Fusionfall Dexter?" I asked, smirking.
"Um... Yes. But people call me Coop, master of tech." We shook hands as we began comparing Cartoon Network's "Fusionfall" game and the displaced around us. We even talked about ourselves. "You have a Megas XLR?"
"Yes, but Rainbow Dash destroyed the head. By the way, it was Kevin's car."
Coop laughed, "Seriously? What other modifications did you add to it anyway?"
"Besides a regrettable new look, I have a Voltron merging function... But I need pilots for Voltron for it to work."
"Can I take a look at it?" Coop asked, "Maybe I can find a loop-hole."
"Sure- wait. Are you aware that you share the same name as Megas' driver AND a hero in Ben 10 with tech-related powers?"
"Looks like I just one upped Jenny Neutron."
"Who?" He pointed to a brown haired girl having some punch, wearing a red sweater with Jimmy Neutron's yellow atom symbol. "Huh, I'm starting to think the rejected displaced are sent to this universe."
"Says the ultimate nerd-fan boy."
"I could be wrong..."
Next thing I know: the DJ has his equipment working and my arm with my ultimatrix is being studied by Coop and Jenny Neutron while Mew is asking if I was listening.
"Sorry, what?" I asked dazed. A scream brought me back to my senses as I sat up in my seat.
Mew groaned, "We're being under attack by Halo aliens." Just as he said that, he grabbed a sword I knew as "Ascalon", donning its silver knight armor and severely injuring some Brutes to a bloody mess before tossing a few Grunts at a grunt driving a ghost. "Wow. I feel like medieval Jedi!"
"Where did you get that?!"
"You dropped it." Jenny answered, tinkering with the ultimatrix's circuit board. "Leeroy Jenkins is a bad role model."
"What are you doing?" I asked her, glaring.
"I heard through the grape vine that this thing I cant pronounce might give your ultimatrix an edge in this skirmish." She smirked, "Brain blast, I'm going to do some quick changes."
Coop stared at her work, commenting, "Don't cross the streams."
"Those aren't the same type. I localized a few ions that allow them to bond safely without implosion or a fallout." She was pushed out of the way by Doc, using his sonic screwdriver on my device.
"So sorry about that," he said, looking like David Tanant, "He needs some of the stuff you would've gotten rid of if I hadn't stopped you." He slapped everything together, taking a chip from Coop and placing it under the floating ultimatrix ring. His Matt face showed up as he said, "Geronimo!" I was transformed into pure Upgrade by his choice.
I shrugged, firing a laser from my eye at a Grunt before taking his ghost and an oncoming ghost. Using the parts, I became a decent sized giant robot that hovered around, firing at Brutes. Some Elites showed up, driving the Brutes away.
Arbiter smirked, "All clear. Sorry about the fight, we don't control our enemies."
Doc face palmed, "That wasn't supposed to happen-" As his hand slid down, he saw Dave Strider from "Homestuck" flipping him off. "Strider..."
"Was Upgrade supposed to be my edge?" I asked, looking down at Doc.
"No," he switched faces again, "you were supposed to have a cool ability involving time, but my rival Dave delayed the battle you learn about the equipment."
"Cortana?" I asked, binge watching some Anime. Currently I'm watching the good Yu Gi Oh, basically I have some shows on shuffle.
"Yeah?"
"Do you remember the time I met a depressed Sora?"
"Yeah...? Why?"
"TV is boring and I want to remember the prestone times."
There was some silence until Mew hovered in, "Um... Can I listen to your story?"
"Sure, in fact, the was my prepokemon times-" I summoned my pokemon, except for Mew Two, who hovered into the room. "-and maybe they would like to hear a good tale... I guess."
*SSSSSSHWOOOOOOOMMMM!!!*
I was awoken from the sound of a meteor crashing into the ground. I got out of my sleeping bag, putting up my campsite with my increased speed. Once my stuff was in my bag, I transformed into Fast Track and ran after the smoke trail. I slid to a stop after dodging some trees, looking down at a crater with a ship. "Cortana? What kind of ship is that?"
"The components are of a space metal called... loading... loading..." I beat my omnitrix. "Gummi. This is a poorly customized Gummi ship. It was made for multiverse travel rather than space travel, but ran into some enemies. Only two weapons are attach, one of the two was destroyed in- what you call -a "dog fight"."
"You're getting better," I mumbled as I slid down the walls, reverting to normal at the bottom. I was startled off balanced by the sound of steam as the dome top of the ship opened.
What I didn't expect was Harley Quinn popping her head out, "Oh, hi there!" She stuck her head inside, but I still heard, "Hey, Oracle, a local is here!"
"Maybe he can fix our ship." A familiar voice said. Climbing out, was an all-black and grey wearing KHII Sora with black shades and a dark vibe to him. Gut feeling, ya know? "Damn, its a displaced..."
I didn't know how to respond so I just waved at him, "W- welcome to Equestria-"
"I know that this is an Equestria. White Woods or whatever the place's name is... the only few redeeming factors of an Equestria." Sora stopped looking around, still no smile on his face. "Tell me, what season are we in?"
"The years before Nightmare Moon's banishment." Cortana said, in her lifeless voice she always used. It still sounded like Halo's Cortana so I don't complain.
"Good. Are you the only displaced?" He asked as Harley leaned on him.
"What's a displaced?"
"Our origin is Earth, we wore a costume, met a merchant, and got sent here with the costume's ability?"
"In that case, no. There's a ginger minecraft guy, two faced doctor who, and Groot. Though he did mention others..." I rubbed my chin in thought as Sora frowned hard. "Hmm? What's wrong?"
Harley took out a pooly-made sign from nowhere, pointing at it. It showed Peter Griffon from "Family Guy", Mrs. Jetson from "the Jetsons", and KH1 Riku with a picture of Sora with "Oracle" pointed at him. Oracle was oblivious to that, saying, "Non of your concern."
She changed signs,
"They treat him like crap, abuse him, and when he thought he was free from them they followed. Peter Griffon with Han Solo's gun, Mrs. Jetson with a robot butler, Riku with an Organization XIII cloak, and Oracle with the Oblivion Keyblade. He lives like Harry Potter in the Equestria we left and was shunned for becoming friends with the ponies. In fact, they killed Twilight Sparkle and let them watch."
Oracle looked between the empty handed Harley and the tearing me. "What? Why are you crying?"
"Do you care about your family?"
"Harley and Seph are the only ones who I can call family, so yeah."
I stared at him, "And the others? Peter, Jetson, Riku?"
He took out the Keyblade of People's Hearts, "Who are you and how do you know them?!"
I never had a weapon pointed at my throat before, but I stood my ground. Soaked pants, but brave. "I-I am the Great Fandom Man!" Harley looked panicked, grabbing a seriously long sword from the ship. Following her came in Kingdom Hearts incarnation of Sephiroth! "Thanks for the weapon."
He was about the ask something when I knocked him back with something in my hand.
"I-It actually worked?!" I asked myself as an odd keyblade formed in my hand. It looked like the barrel of a tank with two knives sticking out of the bottom, resembling a crude key. The hilt was a simple handle with a metal guard with spikes and the chain was a cute little chibi me. I held it up, "I have a keyblade!"
After Sephiroth calmed us down, I learned that they barley escaped Tirek's attack in their world. The last thing they saw there was the beast chasing Oracle's family to their doom.
"Why are we talking about them, again?" Oracle asked, holding Keyblade to People's Hearts and Oblivion, staring at the later.
Harley pouted as Sephiroth shouted, "Because you need help! I swear, you're either angry or acting like emo Peter Parker."
"No I don't."
Harley raised an eyebrow, "Monologueing to Riku and holding one of the darkest Keyblades in Kingdom Hearts isn't?"
I was about to get up, when a long blade ushered me back down. Sephiroth glaring, "We need a fresh opinion on this."
"No signs of depression besides- what you call -"keyblade watching" that he's doing."
I shrugged, "I'm a dense guy. Though he was acting the opposite of Sora... more like a bomb waiting to blow. Though, his hair isn't hanging down."
Oracle started pulling on his hair, "It doesn't change its appearance!" He deadpanned.
Harley grabbed my hand, "Do you know who can help? He has nightmares of his past that will never end!"
I suddenly smirked, "Are they actual nightmares?"
"Sometimes, why?" she asked. Oracle tried to run off, but "Seph" caught him. I rolled my eyes as I looked over my omnitrix, slamming down on it. I transformed into a fairy-like creature that put him to sleep, entering his dream...
Mew raised his hand as if we were in school, I asked 'yes' and he spoke, "What did you see in his mind?"
"Not much. Princess Luna thought that I was causing the nightmares and drove me off." I replied, shuttering at the memory. "In his mind Ponyville was turned to rubble, Peter Griffon bathed in unicorn Twilight's blood as he barbecued her, flipping the meat with a spatula with a handle made of her horn. Tirek loomed over us with a demonic Riku face." I sighed. "You know, I actually met Oracle at the party."
Eevee Mon asked in surprise, "You did?!"
"Yeah. He looked much happier and was floating around in a constant final form with the Oathkeeper and Ultima Weapon Keyblades." I smiled, "I don't know what Luna did, but it worked. Sort of a Deus Ex Luna Machima, in my opinion."
Mew smirked, "I wonder if we can visit?"
"Probably not. World tour stuff going on," I informed.
Replace the old man with me and you're caught up. I fell to the ground, looking up to see an angry Hal Jordan. He had eight green lantern rings on his hands and a lantern in his left hand.
I slammed my ultimatrix down on my wrist, turning into Ultimate Cannonbolt as I rolled into him. He tried to counter my attack with his fist, enhanced by his rings. That moment of contact allowed me to integrate the Lantern Corps ring into my weapon vault. I let myself get punched back, reverting back into my normal form as I lifted my ring.
"I'm not going to let you roam free long enough to cause more- What?!" Hal took a step back as I smirked and my armor gave off more blue than usual.
"In fearful day, in raging night, with strong hearts full, our souls ignite. When all seems lost in the War of Light, look to the stars, for hope burns bright!" I heard a moan from my helmet as Hal Jordan facepalmed. "What? Isn't blue lantern good?"
"Wrong ring Oscar." Cortana informed me. I looked at my finger to see... purple. Before I could complain, I noticed the only violet part of me was my ultimatrix as my scouter.
Cyborg Mew Two recovered from his injuries, tossing Hal Jordan around before tossing sky high where they fought.
"Cortana? I think this is your ring."
"Or you could be a girl. After all, I didn't know you before you arrived in Equestria." Cortana stated in her new outfit.
"Well, explain your new wardrobe?"
"Well, I have a ring that's useless to me, but powers you. That's very interesting."
"Give us a boost."
"You mean you?"
"No. I may hold the ring and its power, but you can still use it."
"Don't I need a lantern?"
"Equestrian magic. Plus I said boost not recharge." She willed me into the sky as I changed to a green-gray color scheme. Hal saw me coming and prepared for an easy fight. Using the wind and increased power to my advantage I kneed his gut with more force than his first punch to my face. I then flew after him, leaving a purple powerpuff girl beam behind me- wasn't that the ugly one? Meh. -as I caught up to him.
That's when he finally made a construct of a rocket fist that flew towards me. The ring glowed, creating and aura around my arm that moved it into a position to create a shield. After deflecting the fist, I began punching him rapidly and roundhouse kicked him to the ground.
"You seem to be new to this. Hal Jordan made more than green fists." I said as I neared him, "Nobody here is the bad guy. I'm misunderstood and you're the mislead hero out to get me." I looked up, hopefully, "Do I get a ring now?"
"Not with that attitude," Hal said, closing the distance. Predicting another punch, my armor turned brown with green details as I controlled part of the road to uppercut him in the gut then the jaw, I wasn't looking when I did it. I looked back to see a glowing green fist disappear from near my face.
"Come on! I'll even settle for orange!" I complained to the universe. "I even got their oath down! "What's mine is mine, and mine, mine and mine, mine and mine, not yours!" Come on!" My arm moved as Cortana shot Hal Jordan a few times, on target each blast.
"Quit being a baby!"
"Easy for you to say! I wanted to be a Green Lantern longer than my want to be Mega Man!" Hal got up, gliding at me like a freight train... I think. Do pony trains fly? Anyway, I wanted to try something.
He closed the distance quickly as I focused my ki... or an imaginary river with some moss. Instead of focusing plasma into being I felt a change in my voice. Hal began to laugh, "You're so predictable!"
"Excuse me?" I shrugged before pointing my head at him, "FOS ROH DAH!!!" I sent a wave of force out of my mouth, tossing him an amazing distance and sending me into a brick wall across the street, taking out some of the wall from the impact.
"Great!You can now shout him to death..."
"Don't judge the Dovahkiin!" I said, raising my fist eye level to see a green ring on my ring finger next to Cortana's ring.
"And now you're a green lantern. Happy, yet?"
"Very." I pointed my ring at Hal, charging our rings, "In brightest day, in blackest night. No evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil's might beware my power Green Lantern's Light!" My suit changed style as I began to glow green, except my right arm that turned pinkish violet.
"For hearts long lost and full of fright. For those alone in blackest night, accept our ring and join our fight. Love conquers all with violet light."
Hal held his hands up, "Fine! Fine! You're good, I give!"
I shook my head, "I still want to punt you to the moon."
"I think I'll be going, I have an appointment with Green Lantern Applebloom-"
I began laughing hard as Cortana and Hal questioned me. Mew Two flew over and translated, glaring at Hal for a cheap shot we didn't know about then. There's a web comic on Tumblr. He didn't expect it to be canon. Quick question? Is there a yellow lantern werewolf Twilight Sparkle?
"No...? I know there's a green lantern Link of Hyrule the werewolf." I fell over with my inner laughing.
Even better! They have the "Twilight Princess" Link. I don't see what's so funny.
"I don't know. The only joke I hear is 'Princess Twilight'. I mean, that nerd? A princess? It will never happen!" Somebody in a near by building chunked a brick at Hal, who broke it with... you guessed it... his fist. A pony somewhere else called out 'He's ill informed, don't hurt him!' while a water balloon was tossed. The pony responded 'Thank you!' before closing her window. "Yeah... I'm gonna go."
"Wait! I was serious when I asked if you were new here."
He hesitated, "I've been here for a month."
"Find a displaced you trust and keep in touch with 'em. Or stay here." He shrugged and left, leaving me to fly around plotting my pranks. He then came back showing his hand having one grey ring.
"I think we got our rings mixed."
"No, your lost ring is over there," I pointed to the bakery where a green ring sat, waiting on the concrete. He still gave me the ring before grabbing his dropped ring and flying off.
"I'm off to teach Green Lantern Scootaloo!" Hal exclaimed.
Mew Two noticed this, commenting in his head, What happened to Applebloom?
"What's the difference? I'm teaching a white unicorn!"
You lied about teaching them.
"I have no idea who they are!" Hal Jordan admitted, shyly. His voice traveled to me through Mew Two as I had another giggle fit.
"I think I'm going to scan the water when we fix Mew's place."
"Is Season 2 over yet?" I asked, playing with a Green Lantern ball.
"Well, you wouldn't be bored if you trained-"
Mew tossed an apple at my head, "Or do some chores, or get a job, or stop watching pay-per-view channels-"
"That was Eevee Mon." I said, pointing at the humanoid Eevee staring at a TV, crying about some guy named 'Flash Sentry' and 'Brad'. "He needs help."
Moe Mew sighed with a hand on his head, "You know, I need you to go upstairs and check on Gilgamesh." The very mention of his name made everything seem to stop and Cortana had to reboot herself.
We tossed our rings into our subspace pocket, turning to Mew. "Gilgamesh? As in Final Fantasy goof ball warrior?"
"No. The fat lard mooching off my money to stay in his motel. I have to work two jobs for that guy." Mew shook his head before flying over from the kitchen doorway to the couch I sat on. "Make sure he has my jelly made."
"Jelly?" I asked.
"He makes the best jellies and jams. Its my secret recipe for some of my food, but he released the secret so that his methods are secret. If you see anything questionable, inform me."
I got up and saluted, "Aye Aye, Captain my captain!" I turned into my Danny Phantom form, phasing through the ceiling/floor. I stopped when I saw organs, going back down and circling to knock on his front door. I reverted to normal, watching as the door opened to... oh my gosh...
This guy was sooo big that he seemed to be part of the apartment. "Who is it?" He asked in a god-like voice, but Gilgamesh sounding.
"I-I-I am the G-Great-t F-Fandom Man, sir!" I said, looking for his head in that mass of man.
He moved parts of himself around, assumed to be a poise, "I am the Mighty Gilgamesh! Ronin of the drive-throughs and master of jelly making!" He must've thought that I stared at him with awe... all I saw were spazzing limbs and water-like waves. "Are you not amazed?!"
I found his head and gave him a stink eye, "For one thing, I'm not deaf! Can you quiet yourself?!"
"Nay! I am already at a whisper!"
"Anyway, where's the jelly? You owe Mew."
"I about to make some!"
To spare your imagination, turns out he makes the worst jelly ever. How does Mew not see or even taste the difference?! As Red Ranger Humungosaur I pushed him out of the motel, only to be pulled out with him and sat on... I think. If I cant find his face at first glance, I could be under his foot or something!
"You cant defeat me."
I transformed into Way Big... only to still be under him. How big is this guy? For those of you who think you're fat, you have a normal life span to not become Shamoo here. Make the days count. "You wanna go flubber?!"
As the music played I shifted into Big Chuck- my only fusion alien -and ate some ground chunks, giving me enough power to pop out from under him and face the guy. I transformed into my DeadPool form, running up his arm as he swiped at me. I teleported around his odd attacks he somehow controlled his flaps to do.
I then decided to taunt him, bouncing on one spot, dancing on another part, riding a store ride Pinkie Pie on one spot. "I wasted a quarter on this?!"
Pinkie looked back at me, "Well, sorry! I don't ride like that." She bucked me off the plastic sattle, flying off with rocket hooves as I bounced off his blob and soared over his tiny head.
"Gilgamesh's body is like a temple! Your body is not!" I said as I tossed ninja stars at him. Fat Gilgamesh let out a roar, slowly rising as the ground shook. I looked down- "How did you even fit in that motel room?!"
I teleported to the top of a tall building, a little over his size. I reverted to my normal form, wearing 3D maneuver gear. I took out the blades, flying down towards him as I allowed my cape to materialize behind me.
I didn't latch onto anything, I just fell. As soon as I gained enough momentum I took out a portal gun and fired two portals before pocketing the gun and fell through one portal, fall up out of the other as I harpooned a wall and pulled myself around him.
"Cortana," I said, landing on Gilgamesh and running up his back. "Any atoms he doesn't need, we acquire and synthesize into needed metals."
It wasn't noticeable then, but every time my foot touched him, his fat and dead skin would be absorbed and synthesized into my armor. I saw my armor glow in rainbow energy that repaired damages Celestia and Luna made years ago. What? I don't have enough money for a forge.
"Access metal is transferred to extra armors, attachments, gear, custom weapons, and new armor."
"New armor?"
"Its going to be lighter and more durable. Looks remotely the same and will have more efficient power output."
"Can I wear it now?"
Wait for Season 3. Mew Two said as he and Mew flew to help me, the latter holding a bucket of water, mouthwash, toothbrush, and toothpaste in his aura, scrubbing his mouth like his life depended on it. I really hate this guy... He gives Gilgamesh a bad name!
Tell me about it! Mew thought back. I'm gonna be scarred for weeks!
Gilgamesh took out a nagatama and opened a rift in space... big enough to stick is half of himself through. I rolled my eyes, pulling myself up him rapidly as I transformed into my saiyan form in mid-air. "Convert some of the blast." I positioned my arms to my side, gathering energy as my uncontrollable plasma ball became more or less stable. I forced the energy into one hand and chunked it, "Orga Blaster!" By that title, I turned it into a powerful beam that seemed to obliterate Gilgamesh.
A fist from below slammed into my bottom jaw. After barely moving and catching the arm of my attacker, I saw a bone-thin Gilgamesh holding himself together.
Mew barfed in a bucket, flying over, Great! Now I have nurse him back to health... Actually, I don't.
"What're ya gonna do to me?!" Gilgamesh asked. Mew took out a costume, forcing it on Gilgamesh as we neared the ground. He wore an odd costume that resembled parts of a vacuum as Mew gathered energy in his finger.
I call upon the power of Faust! The ground shook as a giant white alicorn stuck her head into our world, her red mane flowing in the wind. Can I change his character? You know what he's done! She shook her head. Can I make it temporary? The alicorn made a silent sigh and nodded, giving some magic to Mew. Creator bless you.
Oscar, I think I'm scared of Mew...
I looked up at Cyborg Mew Two in disbelief, "But you're never scared!"
Exactly. He has access to Lady Fausticorn! I heard that she stays out of worlds so that she doesn't sneeze it into oblivion.
*VVVRRRRRRRR*
Oscar finished the day, vacuuming his own motel room and Mew's motel room. He enjoyed the many weapons he got from the last owner. The vacuum glared up at him, "Uuuuuuuuu suuuuuuuuuck, duuuuuuuuude!"
I laughed at him, "Well, I'm not the perverted vacuum. I bet you cant make jelly now!" I then remembered something, "Why am I using you? I'm getting new carpet tomorrow!"
"Creator, I love this coin!" I exclaimed as I used my Mantis Flip Coin in my "Jumpman" form, causing me to do a quad jump, the last two mid air jumps being flips. You're probably wondering what I'm doing and if I'm fighting someone.
Some green laser were shot at me, I dodged a recent one by diving to the ground. There were two orange girls, one with pink and the other red hair, wearing purple outfits. The older looking one in an outfit I wouldn't want to see offline and red hair, flew at me, "Stop! Jumping!" I rolled my eyes, flipping and jumping off her head. Somehow, that got the girl temporarily powerless because Mario Bros physics.
The other one, the one I recognize as the Teen Titans Starfire, rapidly fired at me as I hopped around. I shifted into Crashhopper for a moment, hopping off Starfire's face. My plan backfired- would that count as a pun? I hope not. -as she caught my leg before my thought-to-be-successful plan happened, tossing me around. In the state I was in, my coin was declared useless. "You shall not kick the face, monster!"
"Technically alien," I said, somehow not getting sick or seriously dizzy. Though, I was hurt more than usual when she smacked me into a wall or the ground.
"Keep at it, sister!" The other Starfire said, flying towards my shen gong wu known as the Ninja Sash. The ninja sash had the ability to double a person. The Starfire Sisters are master thieves with the scantly clad one being the master mind. If they could get a third Starfire with the same skill as the older Starfire, they will become unstoppable! Plus, it can increase fire abilities.
...I just want the Ninja Sash so I could play Co-Op Halo: Reach with another me. Even in Equestria, the game is my favorite. "Cortana, acquire DNA sample old school!" The leg Starfire held began to glow, painfully forcing DNA out of Starfire and blissfully through me and into my ultimatrix. "Ultimate Tamaranean!"
I boosted myself out of young Starfire's grasp, flying towards the older Starfire as I gained a muscular humanoid shape. My skin turned gold before changing to a shade of orange as green energy flowed into me and my muscle shirt and armored pants and boots formed, turning white-green for a power boost, this boost also increasing my flight speed. My hair took a long, red color with a pink streak as I reached for the Ninja Sash.
Both of our hands met the sash as I smirked, "Koriand'r sisters, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Trio!"
"Wow, you're a nerd."
"Oh yeah, at least I can be around children." I smirked, expecting an angry look. Instead she looked slightly confused.
I rolled my green eyes, "Anyway, wanna make a wager?"
"Well, how about I wager my stolen bits."
"Where do you put them anyway?"
"Um... my pockets?" She said like it was the most obvious answer.
"I'm serious. Oh, well, I wager my ultimatrix, but my Cortana program stays with me."
"Sorry... what?!"
Younger Starfire raised her hand, "I put our high valuables and gems on the wager!" She quickly joined us in touching the sash.
I gave out a laugh, "We race for it. Winner takes all."
Older Starfire glared at her sister, "What're you doing?!"
"Well, he wagers his Ultimatrix with all the creatures! If there can be two of you then I should have the power of gods to aid you!"
"We'll discuss it, later." Older Starfire said with clenched teeth.
I sipped some tea from a green plastic glass I found, dossing it away, "Um... Gong Yi Tan Pai."
The two Starfires shared a look as my ideal racetrack formed. The sash pulled us into space where three cars waited on a rainbow road, but not just any rainbow road. All of the Mario Kart rainbow roads combined!
Once again, in the stands my pokemon showed up with Mew riding on a cloud with glasses. Across from them, Hell Boy sat in his stands.
Mew flew over with a street light, "I don't know what is going on, but what I do know is that this is a no rule race. GO!"
I ran into the Mach 5 as older Starfire flew into a Mario Kart from Double Dash and young Starfire joined her sister, riding on the back. Young Starfire used her power of flight to give their car a sudden boost as I followed behind. Transforming into Jury Rigg, messing around with the classic layout. "Fix! Fix! Fix!" I chanted, grabbing a monkey wrench from the trunk. I paused, a huge smile on my demond face as I kicked the wheel, pulling me back on track. I suddenly screamed, "Spaceship!"
My car gunned left, falling through the shortcut to the end of the first rainbow road with the girls at my tail. The driver gave out a seriously loud, "What the hell?!"
Hell Boy shook his head when I passed. "Not cool, bro." Then the Starfires passed, his attention on the driver for unknown reasons. Hint, hint. Wink, wink. Bug in my eye stuff.
"Spaceship!" My racecar slowly began to resemble a blue 90's spaceship made of legos. I poked the (A) on the wheel, the hydraulics pushing me airborne with a jump as I pressed (C), bringing out the wood saws and detaching them for my warp drive. "Spaceship!" I climbed below the hovering craft, detaching and reattaching the wheels for extra lift "Back to the Future Part II" style. "Spaceship!"
My unpredictable movements somehow got me to crash into all of the item boxes, giving me shells for armor plating and those useless blue winged shells were ground into paint I made to give my hodgepodge a blue and green color with bits of red. I bumped into the big (G) button, causing a metal spy bird to fly out. I caught it, yelling, "Spaceship!" Using the lightning bolts as energy and parts from the bird as a way to focus and redirect the power I gained. I suddenly got banana peels, feeding it to my ball and chain pet. It fell off, nearly knocking young Starfire off her kart. "Spaceship!"
The sudden dodge of my presumed dead pet through them off, sending them almost to their doom on the drifting section. When they caught up, driving Starfire fired lasers from her eyes. The parts were grabbed by me, adding to propulsion or controls by size and shape. I even used her attempt at attacking me as a tool, cutting a piece of shell in half to complete my own weapons.
Pressing a <Z> button I made. I wanted it to be a P, but I had a lack of skill in laser art. "Spaceship!" I tapped a piece of metal, making some rubber fly up and knock a golden mushroom into my hand. "Spaceship!" I chanted before eating the shroom. Suddenly colors filled my vision as I saw purgatory. It looked like a cul de sack with three idiots. "Trippy..." I said, my vision returning as I saw the tools in my hands and wrapped in my tail.
The Starfires looked at each other as they witnessed a rainbow demon leap out a the car/spaceship and take pieces of their kart for himself, chanting, "Fix!Spaceship!Destroy!Swag! FixSpaceshipDestroySwag! FiSpashstroyag!" His words speeding up as he took apart their ride and left them with a skeleton kart. After being shot out of a star cannon rainbow tunnel, the spaceship sped up so fast that they were starting to lose sight of the vehicle.
"Spaceship!" As soon as my hands gripped the wheel, I returned to my normal form as casually rode in silence. I watched as the girls abandoned their kart and combined their power to catch up to me some-what. I left my seat to taunt them, but realized that not only was there nobody driving, but Jury Rigg made this spaceship.
The ship rattled and began to fall apart as the radio turned on. I slammed my ultimatrix down, turning into Upgrade and pulling the ship together and turned it into a spaceship themed car as I drifted around some holes in the track and transformed into Grey Matter to keep the parts together with these new changes. "Wires go here, add pressure to hydraulics, what is this?! I swear, I'm adding Charles Xavier's DNA to that numb skull..." I then returned to normal form and began to drive my skating, transforming robot. "On second thought, I could put Charles into Grey Matter-"
"Focus! I'm about to lose my home and your about lose almost all of your super powers and internet access!" I looked over to see the two Starfires neck and neck with me. I made my robot toss them behind me and quickly transformed the vehicle into the car-ship, boosting away from them. I looked back to see them toss the winged blue shell at me and eat a gold crown mushroom.
Young Starfire's eyes went wide as she began to scream and dodge things that weren't even there. She even forced her sister to help her stop Godzilla from killing Carealot's Care Bears. "WehavetosavethemohmygodIseecolorsandtheyarebeautiful! Is this real life?!"
Older Starfire screamed as she tried to get her little sister off her, "Ashley, how do you even have this strength?!"
"Amy! Woah! Amy, I can see our house from here!"
"Oh no-"
"Hi Mom and Daddy-!" Nobody knows what she saw, but she began destroying the track in anger with her sister along for the ride. I'm glad I got Eevee Mon a camera, he's live streaming the race. Then I saw something that made me make a U-turn. Her lasers almost hit my friends and the mushroom's powers were gone. "I will destroy you!"
I shot myself out of a cannon I created, ramming my head straight into the young one, Ashley. "Wow! Paul was right! Nobody wins with a headbutt!" I commented as I fell. She let go of her sister and began to fight me in blind rage. "Code: I'm Gonna Wreck It!" I shouted, shifting into huge, red four armed creature as an orange phantom Wreck it Ralph displayed himself from my ultimatrix, landing into me as Fourarms gained spikey hair, thicker limbs, and an orange shirt with red overalls. "I'm Gonna Wreck It!" I shouted in a deeper voice.
Since I was laser resistant, I could attack her with brute strength and skill. To my left, I heard an engine purr as the older one, Amy, took my car and drove off. "You killed my mom!" Ashley screamed. I rolled my four eyes, crescent kicking her head to the ground. "Wait... where am I?" She jumped up from the ground. "Equestria, showdown, rainbow rocks road! RACE!" She sped off leaving me alone to slowly try to keep up, but then I stopped as I heard a kart pull up.
"Heh, they left me the best part." I transformed into Jury Rigg again, driving the kart and picking up the pieces to my stolen vehicle as I followed and increased speed to a trail of junk that led to my abandoned vehicle. "Fix! Fix! Fix!"
"I'm almost there!" Amy declared.
"Wait for me, dearest sister!" Ashley said, following.
Suddenly the sound of a thousand motorcycles filled the air as Oscar in a much faster and lighter vehicle slipped past them in the best junk race kart ever seen. As he passed, he lied on his side, in his normal form, winking at them. Watching the countless boost attachment junk arrive in first flawlessly before losing some parts, they give it their all to finish as the Ninja Sash appeared into view. Oscar pulled the cord to what looks like a boat engine, revving it until it got to working. "Auto pilot engaged! You should've destroyed my ship!" I suddenly began to taunt them with several dances to a song, replacing the heads with the kart's old steering wheel.
I then moon walked and fell backwards into a metal crossbow that fired me at the Ninja Sash, allowing me to catch it before I fell. Everyone was blinded for a moment as we returned the normal city scenery. I held the sash up in the air with my ultimatrix arm, letting the deflected light shine on the Starfire sister's faces. They glared at me as I took a heroic poise on top of the mountain of loot, letting everything sink in. "N-now Amy, let's not be harsh-!" Ashley was cut off by a missed punch, meant for her face.
"You wagered everything!"
"We can take it back from him!"
"Not all of it!"
I smiled down, "Yeah, you can only hold handfuls while your sister has pockets to carry the stuff!"
Amy looked up at me, "What's that supposed to mean?!"
My hand found a home on my face as I slid my hand down, "You're supposed to be the brains?" I slid down my mountain, transforming into DJ Echo Echo and copying myself to prevent the populous from taking the treasure, leaving five clones to get the guards. Prime Echo Echo sat on the shoulders of another Echo, getting in Amy's face. "If I were to pull you closer with your...shirt? What would happen?"
Long story short, we had the dumbest argument I've ever been in, started another fight, and they got arrested by the guards as I was rewarded with the money that wasn't stolen or was unable to be returned. It was a good day.
"Go vacc Gilgamesh! Be free!" Mew said as he turned my vacuum back into a boney Gilgamesh. This morning has been insane! Displaced gathered in a part of the city where scientists and wizards had a timer counting down to the Canterlot Wedding so that portals would open in destined areas. Everyone was ready for a major battle, even Mayor Popeye had his spinach at the ready.
Some people let out catch phrases and words of power. I wanted in on it. "It's hero time!" I exclaimed.
"That's my line!" A Ben 10 replied.
"Oh. It's Morphin' Time!" A black Power Ranger tapped my shoulder, motioning to the many eras of Rangers behind me. "Fine! Leeroy Jenkins!"
"Yes?" ask a paladin to my left, holding a bucket of Cloudsdale Fried Chicken.
I sighed before summoning my Green Lantern ring. "In brightest day, in blackest night-!"
"We have enough Lanterns in this fight!" Dark Knight Bat Man said, standing next to a Green Lantern Daffy Duck.
"Winter is coming!" I called out.
"It's spring, dumb ass!" Vegita shouted at me.
"I like trains!" I said, putting up my ring.
"I do too." I boy said next to me as many people in front of us dodged a gingerbread train. The kid jumped onto a moving car, gone in an instant.
I swung my arms up, "Oh, come on!"
"Hey, that's my thing!" A Sweetie-Bot replied on top of Cowboy Curtis' shoulders.
My suit's primary color turned yellow as I charged my hands and the secondary color and lights turned green as the power grew. An arc of electricity form between my hands as I arc them from above my head to my sides as I called out, "I'll put a jolt in their system!"
Just then, a black kid on a silver disk wearing a blue trench coat and yellow goggles hovered above me. "No. Just no. That's still my phrase, Static or not. Just... no." He flew off towards the front.
"No! I am NOT reducing myself to 'spoon'!" A big blue head turned around, revealing to be 'the Tick', looked back at me and slowly lowered himself in a crouch position. I transformed into my thangarian form, "I'm going to wing it!"
"Not cool, bro." Lego Bat Man said as he crowd surfed with a human Wild Style.
"Why cant you stick with 'because I'm Bat Man'?!" I complained.
A Bat Man with a coffee mug got up on stage, "I've been chosen to inform everyone on the situation. Partially BECAUSE I'M BAT MAN!" Everyone applaud as my jaw fell. "I have some bad news. None of you can actually arrive in Canterlot. For some, they have a track record that makes some of the known Displaced here seem evil. This many Displaced will look like another evil army for the guards to fight." There were murmurs of disappointment. We cannot fight in the Canterlot Wedding episode? "Plus, we cant pollute the time stream, so those who end up there will be cloaked spies or skilled time travelers." That's unfair.
"What will we do, then?!" A voice asked.
Bat Man smirked, "We are actually going into battle a day early. We are going to reduce the number of changelings going to Canterlot by striking their hive, distracting most of the swarm that we will fight. We hope that not every one kills them, but its just a wish." He took out some papers, handed to him by a dog in a suit and a rabbit with spiked teeth. "There's a change in policy. You will be fined for killing and will have a gun tax ranging from pistols made of mouse traps to death rays orbiting the planet."
Mayor Popeye walked up to the podium with a white haired gentleman. "While I'm fighting, President Snow will be Mayor in my absence." The crowd gave nervous stares as the Mayor returned to his seat, putting his signature pipe in his mouth.
"I'm not looking forward to that." One person said.
"I bet the Hunger Games would be hard to fight." Another commented.
"This better not be a hard knock life with him in change." A young voice said dryly.
"Bow chicka bow wow!"
"Not now, Tucker!" A gruff voice said. Temp. Mayor President Snow was about to comment when a buzzing sound filled the air. "The portal is opening!"
"Is that Caboose?"
Everyone watched as a blue Halo Spartan covered in attacking changelings stood there, waving a talking assault rifle. "Guys! I just pressed the button! It is so awesome!"
"It's time to duel!" I shouted, in my normal form.
Yugi Moto ran past me, "I should try that line!"
I replaced my white Megaman X helmet with my silver Iron Man helmet and flew off into battle with the mass of people. "Excuse me, princess!" I said, going around Link from the Legend of Zelda. As I crossed the portal, the temperature changed from nice, warm feeling to 'it burns, oh my god' desert hot.
I took out Frodo's sword, "For Narnia and Middle Earth!"
An elf ran by, "You look more like a futuristic super soldier."
My secondary colors turned red as I ran past him and everyone else and leapt high in the air, "FOS ROH DAH!!!" Most of the middle section of ground and air drone were flown away from the force as I shifted into my thangarian form. (Looks like a winged human in case you forgot.) And I summoned my keyblade, knocking some out. I tossed Frodo's sword through a flying changeling's wings before taking it out and knocking it out with my keyblade. I conjured some lightning spells to take down some enemies as I extended my wings and body slammed some ground troops.
"Ultimate Hulk Humungosaur!" I commanded my ultimatrix as I transformed into said alien. I fired rockets from my hands before sending a shock wave through the ground with my fists. I then transformed into Fast Track and KO'd some ground troops before head butting one changeling. "Nobody wins with a head butt!" I quoted from "Paul Blart Mall Cop" before swerving into the pile of downed changelings.
Outsiders saw a flash green light come from the pile as I hopped out with a green face on my human body. I gave out a laugh as I gave the changelings a group hug in a chef outfit. They struggled, but stopped when I gave them a lovingly tighter hug. "Aren't ya the cutest thangs?!" I gushed in a western get-up and poor country accent.
Music began playing as I left the group of immobile, obese changelings and started a conga line with changelings in NYPD police uniform. I began to sing as I held a winged drone over my head, a rose appeared between her teeth as our dance led the party. Everyone dropped their weapons and watch what unfolded.
A Hawkeye asked a Green Arrow next to him, "Do we even have a MASK displaced?"
The party vibe spread like wild fire to everyone as more danced, some with partners. I looked back to see two changelings in line had sombreros and three had colorful ponchos. I paused, the whole line bumping into me as I let the music finish. "We're not here to party." The changelings gulped as the hard core displaced aimed their guns. "We're here to PAR-TAY!"
I spun the group around, my dance partner wore a red suit as she started dancing, followed by the others in matching blue suits. I hopped onto a rock in a green TF2 Medic costume, holding out foam fingers with my face on them and danced around when my part started. Somehow the sky went dark and colorful lights and smoke filled the rocky grounds.
"Go Maurice, go! You raving lunatic, you!" I shouted as spun on my head.
(fnaf 2) Marionette lunged at me, causing me to freak out so bad my eyes ran off. Luckily I had my spare. His smiling face got in my exaggerated scared face, "Dance off, now!"
I had a huge grin and pumped my fist, "Let's do this!"
Star Lord from "Guardian of the Galaxy" prepared the dance floor, that he didn't question, for me and the machine to dance.
It was night time when we returned. Their queen kicked us off their property, beaten by Twilight's brother. I unlocked the door to my apartment, a partied out Gilgamesh on the couch.
In my room, I messed with my ultimatrix on a blue tie conjured up. As my face glowed green and the blue hexagons covered my body I cried out. "Give me my Oscar!" Before facing the readers. "You thought I was going to copy David Tennant's performance? Naw!" I then got to my knees and cried out as I returned to normal in a dramatic fashion.
My eyes snapped open as an explosion sent ringing to my ears. "What's happening?!" I question as I sat up on the snow covered ground, looking at two Mickey Mice. One was about to speak when a figure fell on me. I pushed off the figure and looked around, realizing that we were in a snow trench behind a large rock.
"Nice to see you're awake, sleeping beauty." The figure I pushed off said. He's a human that looks similar to me, but a head shorter wearing a light blue shirt and jeans on his box legs. Currently he wore a diamond helmet with iron boots that look like hallow iron cubes without a top face and he was covered in injuries with his gold sword and little armor no worse for wear. He is my friend and rival Jake... or "Lego Craft" as he started calling himself. "I'm surprised that you were the first to be taken down."
He tossed some white and blue things that floated in front of me.
"Luckily, I got to your gear." I looked over myself, my usual white shirt and jeans on with my omnitrix on my wrist. One of the items touched my feet, turning into my boots that covered my matching colored Nikes. I rolled like a dog to my left, hopping back up fully armored. I checked my inventory, giving him a look. "What?"
"Check again, you forgot Cortana and my scouter."
"I didn't say I got all of your gear. Long story short, Captain Sombra went AWOL and started taking over the empire," Lego explained. "Your siren friends had the same idea of taking this place over so the twin here summoned us. Also, your air horn token tipped them off so we had to retreat."
"Oh yeah? What about your music playing token?"
"It plays music when a displaced is lost in a forest and when they chose to use its primary function."
"HEY!" Epic Mickey shouted.
King Mickey took out his keyblade, "If we are going to save Minnie, Box, and/or Cortana then we need to move NOW!"
(Lego Craft P.O.V)
I led us away from our rock after I spawned better armor on me with my magic iron ax. With my full health, diamond armor, and increased speed and strength I can out run those lasers! We passed a siren as she used her screech to attack the giant shadow Sombra. Mentioned screech destroyed my armor in an instant. I looked over to Fandom Man, "Fandom, turn into something to counter act their attacks!"
Instead of instantly transforming, like usual, he messed with his omnitrix.
"What are you doing?!" I asked him, dodging deflected lasers.
"Cortana makes this look easy!" He replied, barely dodging a laser himself. He fell to the ground with the lack of balance, his omnitrix hitting a rock as Aria screeched at us. Adagio tail whipped Aria's face, pointing her giant sea pony head towards Sombra. That combined blast and transformation screwed up the transformation. "Shoo... shoo shoobie doo~?" He asked woozily as he gripped his head and got up.
I sat behind a rock, "Ripjaws? Seriously? What is he going to do? Bite at 'em?"
The humanoid fish creature glared at me, "Shoo Shoobie Doo! Shoo Doo!" He started to glow red and float.
"What the heck?"
He looked over himself and grinned, "Shoo Shoobie!" He turned towards a crystal, siren screeching it into pieces. "Shoo Shoobie Doo!!" He cheered.
"That might work. Also, don't talk. I have no idea what you're trying to say."
I motioned the Mickeys to follow. On the way to the castle, Epic Mickey would use his paint brush to create a rock and Fandom Man as Ripjaws would use his new siren powers to swim in the air, launching Epic's rocks at two of the sirens and Sombra. They got annoyed, but never lost focus in their fight. Occasionally I would look back and share a sad look toward Sonata, still being forced to be enemies.
"Shoobie?" Ripjaws asked with concern.
"Are you asking 'what's wrong' or something?" I asked, eating a golden apple to replenish stamina. He nodded. "I would lie if I said nothing. Let's leave it as that."
His antenna glowed as he spoke, "Doo. <No.> Shoo Shoobie Doo. <There's more to it.>" Both similar voices spoke and ended as one.
We hopped over some debris, "Sounds like you can some-what talk."
"Shoobie, Shoobie Doo Shoo. <Nice to know, now back on topic.> Doo Doo Shoobie Doo? <What's up "leader"?>"
An explosion rang out, "Is this really the time?" The Mickey caught up, catching their breath.
"Doo Shoobie. <With them, yes.>"
"L-looks like *inhale* you're talking." King Mickey said, standing with the aid of his giant key.
I groaned, "Great! More people are about to hate my guts." I sighed. "To get this over with: I used to be friends with the sirens."
"Well, we used to be friends with Sombra. Go figure." Epic Mickey said on the ground.
"Yeah, but I used years mp3 playing to help them practice singing and fixed those gems that's the reason their dangerous monsters. Everybody blames me for turning them evil so I'm hunting the Ender Dragon in hopes to look heroic or at least neutral in the princesses' eyes. Yes, they blame me too." We shielded our eyes as the sirens shook dust and gravel into the air. "I'd rather not be here right now."
Our hiding spot levitated as Sombra tossed destroyed buildings at the sirens. He even tried to crush us, but Sonata head butted him in the snout. A self defense move I taught her that took down one of their bullies years ago... Ripjaws snapped me out of my trance, "Shoo! <Focus!>"
I sped up, looking back at him. "Whatever happens, don't harm Sonata. She's forced into this."
"Shoo Shoobie Doo Shoobie Doo. <Good, because I think I have a crush on her.> Shoobie Shoo. <Fish brain only, thankfully.>"
We finally got to the castle, King Mickey stating, "Don't worry, there's more fish in the sea!"
"Shoo Shoo, Doo. <Haha HA, no.>" Ripjaws said, returning to normal as Fandom Man.
Jarvis spoke from his omnitrix, "New DNA acquired. Equestrian Siren. New mix: Siren Ripjaws." A hologram hovered, "Should I add this mix to your list?" YesNo
"Yes." Fandom Man responded.
"Should I add this mix to your list?" Jarvis repeated. Fandom Man touched the Yes in the hologram. "It has been added."
He turned to me, "When I update my omnitrix, I'm soo adding voice commands."
"Why omnitrix when you can have an ultimatrix?" I asked.
"Like I would do that." Fandom Man responded.
(Oscar P.O.V)
Everyone lied around, waiting for me (as Humungosaur) to destroy the black crystal wall trapping our friends. I stopped, taking a break to inspect it. "Not a single crack!" I tapped my omnitrix, becoming ultimate humungsaur. I began to pummel it again before backing up, "Guys, I'm firing rockets! Stand back!" My fists closed harder until they folded into itself into the form of two rocket launchers.
Everyone got back as I fired a few rounds before slamming shoulder into the wall, sliding down the undamaged crystal in pain. King Mickey summoned his other keyblade "Star Seeker" instead of "Kingdom Key D" and lightly tapped the wall, turning part of it into mist. "Are you done?" He asked as I returned to my normal form, rubbing my shoulder.
As the Mickeys group hugged a normal Minnie Mouse and Lego and Box fist/hoof bumped, I grabbed my scouter and placed it on my head and waited as Cortana reinstalled herself. What I didn't expect is that she took the appearance of a blue Roll.EXE from Megaman Battle Network. She smiled as she exclaimed, "I knew you would save me!"
"Twin mice, abscond!" a loud voice boomed from behind us.
I turned to see Lego Craft get pinned down by Luna as Box was forced away by her magic, seen as a confused or misinformed friend rumors told me. I was about to act when a gold aura covered me, sending me higher up on the wall behind me as Celestia strode in. "The siren converter and the city destroyer? This appears to be a criminal focal point, does it sister?"
I rolled my eyes as my scouter found weak points on their damaged bodies. "Hey Craft, even in danger I one-up you!"
"Shut up!" He responded, giving me a slightly terrified yet angry look.
"C'mon! Luna is holding you in place without her magic, yet you don't notice the bruised front left shin?" Realization hit as he spawned and kicked up an emerald that fell on Luna's shin, making her wince long enough for Lego to duck under her leg and run off with Luna and Box in tow. Cortana transformed me into Chromastone, without asking me or recommending anything. I absorbed some of the magic around me, firing at Celestia. She returned fire with me absorbing it and firing it back with rainbow light.
That fight is what kick started Celestia's rivalry (at least I think its rivalry) with me and my escape from the empire as I also learned how to fly in that form.
You find a man with the unknown physique of a weak yet very skilled... eh... Around 17 or 20 give or take, moaning into a blue pillow on a bed with white sheets and a sky blue blanket. Walking into his room is some high tech armor with nobody inside, a holographic girl head acting as the face. The armor was mainly white with some blue here and there with matching blue lights that could be seen as weak spots if you haven't seen it before.
She had an annoyed look and tried to grip the bridge of her nose, but she had no right hand and the armored arm went through her face, "Did you seriously disengaged your armor?"
"mmmmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"
"Either you sound like a dying cow or a mower."
The guy lifted his head. Messy ginger hair on a slightly tan head, blue eyes locked on her. "You told me Rafiki could help me in magic."
"Yeah, true magic like you used on those changelings. No tools, no techno magic."
"OK, then tell me: why am I always balancing on a pole the past three months?"
"To teach you balance, duh." He got out of the bed, thinner armor on his body. It had the same color scheme, but less to no lights. "Did you seriously convert your MK. 5 into light weight armor?"
"Yeah, you took most of it away as the MK. 6 armor- Don't change the subject! Why does that ape keep smacking me in the face?! In fact, why is he in Displopolis?"
She began counting invisible fingers with armored fingers, "Mew Two and I planned on taking you to him in Season 3, he decided to move here and open a dojo, he knew we were coming before we even contacted him, and I think Mufasa is watching us in the stars."
The man stumbled into the living room of his motel, going to the kitchen and grabbing cereal, "Don't use that "Lion King" logic on me!" Just then in his peripheral vision, a pink light flashed revealing a person that resembled a hovering five year old decked out in pink and blue clothes and a pink Mew (from Pokémon) hat. "Hey, Moe Mew."
"Oscar, I'd rather you pay me, but I'm glad you're here. I lost another shipment of goods." The kid said with some authority. He owns almost four motel rooms, mine being above his main room. I don't have money so I take quests, which is legit currency besides game money or equestrian bits.
"Where is it?"
"Our Town... again." Mew said, almost groaning. Though, the sudden strain on my brain could express his distress. "What part of 'communist trap' screams 'safe shortcut'?!"
Cortana- the program that looks like a blue Roll.EXE from Megaman: Battle Network -returned the armor to my body over the docking system I set up, the face of my ultimatrix shifting from a grey hour glass to a full blue circle. "Anything to avoid Rafiki."
"... um... about that: he's not at his dojo so he might be waiting for you or he's just on break." Mew responded.
The lights on my armor began to pulse as I charged up a teleportation beam... sort of like Megaman. My head went from looking up at Mew in my home to looking slightly lower to an angry monkey with a staff on top of a big wagon full of plums in the desert just outside of Our Town. Before any words were exchanged, I was smacked in the face by his staff, holding more fruit than usual. He then covered my mouth, "Hush, we don't want to disturb Balance."
I quietly replied, "Balance? The balance of what?"
Rafiki stroked his beard, "Not what, who." He pointed to a knocked out delivery pony with hardly any colors. "Much foolishness in this one." Our eyes locked once again. "I want you to pull us home. No teleporting, no super speed."
"Serious-?!" He stuffed an apple in my mouth with his staff.
"I didn't say you couldn't- Well, how about this: you can use Disney themed transformations only if you choose to change." Rafiki gave a smirk as I rolled my eyes.
I popped the dial on my ultimatrix, "I haven't done Disney themed forms in a while. Watch me get Hercules!" I pushed down on the dial, not waiting for a hologram and half expecting Cortana to give me an accurate transformation. My armor disappeared as I grew big and green, my front bigger than my back and a black roller forming between thick paws. My eyes grew big and black and my mouth widened. Green skin covered the top of the roller and yellow stripes took their place on my cone-shaped antennae and hind legs. Above my snout my ultimatrix appeared between my eyes. "What the heck..."
"Jumba experiment 519. Dubbed "Splat". From the "Lilo and Stitch" television series."
"Well, me and my big-" I was caught off guard by the rope that entered my mouth. "What're you doing?!" I cried around the rope.
Rafiki held the end of the ropes, about to drive this like a buggie, "How else are you going to pull us? Plus, I doubt you can reach your toy."
"You really do suck."
"What did I do? You chose to wake up and we agreed on training sessions that you skip. What's wrong? Afraid you'll fall off the stick?" I began to pull as fast as my back legs and roller would allow.
On top of my pole... or actually not... Rafiki is trying to teach me how to balance on foot on a thin metal pole as high as me and as thin as a keyboard key. He's literally commanding me to stand on one foot on a stick like he's doing without tilting the stick or getting any help. "Young one, Kratos can do this."
"Well, I'm not a god slayer!" I responded, falling over again as I hugged my pole.
"Neither is he." He pointed to a window where the mentioned man from "God of War" happily waved a giant blade while wearing a colorful apron, tending to some hedges. "Oh Faust, I hope he's careful this time. Burned my rose bush and almost wanted to kill any witnesses." Rafiki turned a smile towards me, "Do you like puzzles?"
It took me several days, but I completed the task. You don't stand on the pole, you balance the darn thing on the bottom of your foot. How? You lie on the ground.
I can already feel the magic! WOW!
Anyway, I left the dojo when I bumped into a pony, causing him to drop his clipboard. "Whoops! Need help?" I inquired.
He was a small pink colt with a long red mane and rose cutiemark. Using his magic to grab everything. "I'm fine. Name's Pleasant Run, would you like to sign this petition?"
I looked at the paper with names starting from 'GaP Trixie' and ending ten names down to 'the Flash'. "What's this for?"
"It's a petition to prevent Twilight Sparkle from becoming an alicorn at all costs." I gave him a look as he added, "Also, its common knowledge here that it will happen."
"Yeah, no. I have a friend from the future that lives in this world that showed me a pic of Princess Twilight eating a hayburger." I showed a holographic copy of the pic.
Run gave a knowing smirk, "Look at it, again."
"Great scott!" I exclaimed as the picture changed to Scootaloo wrecking somebody's scooter with unicorn Twilight in the background, same date stamped. "Do you know what this means?!"
"Yep! No change, no problem! OP unicorn Twilight will be great!"
"No! Tirek will kill us all and Rainbow Dash wont pass her history test, to name a few problems." I explained. The picture changed again to one of disaster. No time stamp, just a message in blood and a dead Tirek.
The colt backed up, "Welcome and meet the Velvet Horror. Sober and ready for the hour. Can you beat me or will you flee?honk HONK :0)"
I stared at the picture, "A clown. Either he's an evil Ronald McDonald or a sober Gamzee."
"Love, Gamzee." Pleasent Run read.
"[]This just got real.[/]" I commented. Suddenly a beat up Delorean materialized in front of us as I was in the driver's seat with Pleasent Run giving us a creepy smile.
Other me got out, leaning on the hood, "Yeah, we almost died... Don't bring the kid, Joker is there... um... He didn't have a pleasant- er... Good time."
Another Delorean appeared with more blood than damage on it. Rolling down the window, another me was wearing shades, pointing at future me. "I'm from his future or technically, your alternate future." He pointed to his missing right hand with a blue aura keeping it from bleeding out. "I lost my right hand and the ultimatrix gained a mind of its own and ran off with it."
We were bobbing our heads to the song... except for Pleasant Run, staring at his possibly dead future self.
"Are you even listening?" He asked, attempting to pull down his shades before remembering his lack of a dominant hand as the stub past by.
Future me shook his head to serious mode. "Don't drink the water, got it!"
"How does getting a majority of your arm cut off translate to anything involving water?!"
Future me showed future-future me his melted right hand, "Because of this?"
"So... um... Do I bring the kid or am I destined to lose my hand in a doomed future?" I asked. They looked at each other then back at me and shrugged. Suddenly another Delorean showed up, but it was the 2015 Delorean that hovered above us with a me shaking off the frost on him as he stood on the hood.
"Actually, you grab Mew and grab this Delorean before facing off against Dallas." He hopped back inside his Delorean and flew off with Mew driving, causing the other two future me's to vanish from the time stream. I looked down to see Pleasant Run shred his petition and gallop off.
"Cortana, get my 2015 Delorean."
"Roger that. I'll call Moe Mew."
I dodged the barrette of gunfire as I stood in an alley, back against a wall. I popped the dial on my ultimatrix, scrolling around. "I need something indestructible..."
Suddenly I stopped at my DeadPool form. I was about the slam the ring down when the hologram moved and my Mask form appeared. I don't know what they're saying, but from Mask shaking his fist: it was fighting words. I rolled my eyes before moving on, but they would push the hologram away for my attention. Suddenly my animanic (looks sort of like Wakko) form walked by, stopped to watch, grabbed popcorn and sat down.
Oscar! I could use some help here! Mew shouted over our linked minds.
(Hold on! My fourth wall breaking forms wont let me transform.)
I'm serious!
(So am I! We're dealing with Gamzee and the Joker, backed up by Dallas while in Season 4 waaay too early! The last thing I want is this rubber chicken fight.) Mask had a num chuck made of squirrels and a piece of the shirt he ripped off as DeadPool swung at him with a rubber chicken. "Little help here Cortana!"
"Those two are our current options. Should I mix them?"
"Please don't. The universe cant handle it." I thought about it. "Are you sure I don't have a Draconequuis?" Suddenly my Discord form showed up, knitting a picture of Blake Shelton pointing to himself, but the arm was extended to point at Discord.
"We do now." That's when my two combatants got the jump on him. My Q form casually sat in a throne next to the animaniac, watching the fight and waving at me. "Its been a while, but might I recommend Q? Just being there he one ups everyone."
"But I'm not really me when I'm him!"
"You're not really you when you're the Mask."
Stop picking favorites and HELP me!! Mew shouted. I looked over to see him hold countless amount of projectiles, trying to prevent them from hitting him. He doesn't look too good...
I slammed my ultimatrix ring down, transforming. Q stood there brushing himself off as he got off Fandomcord, who helped Mask to his feet, who wedgied FandomPool to his feet with "Wonk" the Animanic hopping to his feet away from Mask. Everyone look to their chests at the fractured ultimatrix in their possession.
"Q did it!" Wonk shouted, pointing at the being.
Q smirked as he bit into a Krabby Patty, talking with the food in his mouth, "Quilty is charged. Now, who wants to spread chaos?" He tossed the rest of is sandwich to Fandomcord, who ate it in one bit. He raised a talon with a stoked grin on his face.
Masked laughed while holding a rocket launcher over his shoulder, "That's the best kind of parties!" He then held up Wonk in his free hand, "Lead the way Willie!"
Wonk fell to the ground before getting up and fixing his hat, "Never mind. Mew is that way."
Joker kept destroying boxes with a gun in a hospital, but he wasn't finding Mask. He then felt himself be pushed into one box of the boxes as clown Mask closed the lid and repeatedly beat the box with a mallet with Wonk. Mask then put the box into a box, then into a box, then into a box, then into a dumpster, then into a box, before chaining it, and putting it into a box. Mask turned to see living ponies and ripped off his costume for a super hero look. "Do not fear, dear ponies-"
"Well, hello Nurse!" Wonk said, an arm around Nurse Red Heart.
Mask rolled his eyes and tossed Wonk away, "Don't take my spotlight, kid." He began to flex his muscles as FandomPool crashed through the window.
"We are so going to unalive you!" He paused, talking to his voices. "I am totally going to take over this part!" I (as in FandomPool) took out my fish-themed katanas- my katunas, to be exact! -and leaped through the window, kicking myself away from the building to land on Dallas. using the fish end, I began slapping him. "This is for being a clown! This is for having better guns! This is for making me love you!"
"Woah! Woah! We don't swing that way!" My serious voice exclaimed, shocked.
"Wait, he's a dude?!" I questioned, poking to see if his arm was real.
"Plot twist!" My crazy voice squeed.
"Did you seriously just ask that?"
"Maybe. Also, I think he's shooting at my face."
*blam! blam! blam! blam! blam!*
"Probably not. Finish him!"
I watched as FandomPool ended Dallas with a katana with a fish tail handle. I turned my focus to our most dangerous foe yet, "Fandomcord."
"Q."
"We can just end him instantly or just fix time with a snap of our fingers."
"But what fun would that be?"
"Exactly."
Gamzee charged at us with his juggling pins in both hands and messed up makeup with three purple cuts into his face. He actually managed to make Fandomcord bleed out severely and made me lose my head. I then reappeared, firing fingers from my hand turned gattling gun. When that failed, I got lazy and fixed the time-space continuum.
Oscar and the Mario Brother heads shared looks before looking back at me.
"Is that why I'm Alien X for no reason?" Oscar asked.
"Yes." I answered, cleaning off my complete ultimatrix badge.
Mario gave out a sigh, "Meeting adjourned."
When Oscar woke up, he stood in the Rafiki Dojo doorway as a pink and red unicorn colt trotted on by.
"... and that was my first and last trip to the Crystal Empire. Any questions?" I sat in the center of a room that resembled a Pre School class room and a bloodied dungeon, telling a story on a map as young creatures with displaced parents and foals with possible displaced parents surrounded me on a colorful mat.
A tiny version Soul Calibur's Nightmare raised his sword, "What's a siren?"
"Now that's a good question!" I responded cheerfully. In case you're wondering: I pay people in quests both personal and random, this is random. Blossom and Bubbles wants me to check the local school for quests, giving me Buttercup as assurance. I'm substituting for the substitute teacher on short notice, and I don't blame him. I wouldn't want to be around the cthulhu twins and the tasmanian devil. After an hour of this she left.
As I finished answering Nightmare's question, the door slammed open before falling off its hinges. The original substitute teacher Ferris Bueller had a massive grin on his face as he called out, "The Crystal Empire has returned!"
What have you done?!?
Another major event, but unlike the wedding: there's no rules!
My suit turned a gray-red as I dashed out the door. I would jump out the window, but I would have to pay actual money to replace it and said money would be needed for my funeral. In my normal form, I can use my wind powers to fly on a calm or cloudy day, but that wasn't today. No! Fourteen floors high in a school tower with a pyramid on top.
I ran to the elevators, but they were blocked by waiting occupants. Without losing momentum, I "purposely" slid on the waxed floors and fell down a flight of stairs before grinding down the rails with perfect balance. Bad idea. The stairs became a warzone as I dodged and grinded my way down the other rail, suddenly getting in a fight with a Shrek on a crude skateboard behind me on the same rail.
In detail, Shrek through the first punch and I blocked. I began shouting "X! X! X! X! X! X! X! X!" as I repeatedly punched him.
"B!!!" he replied, grabbing my arm and head-butted me. In the spirit of Assassin's Creed fighting, I took out a hook blade and pulled Shrek's board out from under him. ...Yeah, I regret nothing. He picked Shrek so he was destined for that kind of pain.
"Skateboard data accepted. Error. Slight modification to your... liking." Cortana droned. First this school blocks out my more OP forms then they dull Cortana? Hate. It.
I leaped over a flight of stairs, as I landed on a Spider Man skateboard with clear wheels and a long blue pipe with bicycle handle bars extending from the front. I pushed off with my right foot as I gave out a loud giddy laugh. "Its a bigger version of my scooter, but cleaner!" I flipped the scooter, using Alphonse Elric's head to propel me into the air and onto some rails below. "It even has that stranger's autograph! This is awesome!" I swung myself into a hall, avoiding the next set of stairs as I entered the next flight of stairs.
It was surprisingly clear compared to the-
*RUMBLE*
My scooter disappeared for unknown reasons as I ran down the stairs, avoiding the stampede of people. Closing in was the sound of music. "Is that nostalgia I'm hearing?"
Riding on a huge drum, powered by music a man tall, slender man that performed tricks that a jointless cartoon character could only do.
"Great, I have to outrun Sunny... Why am I not outrunning people?!"
"No super speed in the hallways. Teachers and temporary personel included." Cortana monotoned in response.
"Ultimatrix! Fast Track!"
"Can't do that."
"Ultimatrix, The Mask!" I barked, Sunny passing me.
"Can't do that." "You called? Because I'm ready to par-TAY!"
The transformation triggered, but was stopped leaving me with a wooden face. Luckily, that still counted as a transformation as a shell of my ultimatrix was on its forehead. I simply shoved the face on my face, causing the teal wood to become turquoise flesh as it wrapped my head in my sudden jump. I opened my yes as a huge grin met my balled body face. "Ready for lift off?!"
Somebody kicked me, my body passing Sunny as I rapidly spun into a vortex that had me in track uniform with pom poms. "Gooooo Me!!!" I tossed the cheer gear and ripped off my thick pants to reveal my shorts. Walking off as my pom poms set the stairs ablaze in a controlled explosion. I bent over in an Ace Ventura Pet Detective posture, "Buttocks AWAY!!!"
In a trail of rainbow farts I muted Sunny's music so I could focus. Ya got that reader? Scroll up to shut up!
"Haha! Highscore! Beat that Luna!" I shilled in Luna's chambers, freaking her out. She shrugged and pointed at the online leaderboards. "Dinkleberg..."
I hopped out her open window and ran by the power of poptart cats and Loki as I traversed buildings out of sight in Canterlot. I was so close to the train that I could taste it, but the music ended and I found my self passing the missing train. I looked down to see my face collide with the edge of the station platform as ponies backed up.
"Systems 100% Restored. ...I'm not going to ask."
"Quick! Find my camera!" FandomPool shouted as he searched for one. There was a flash as the DeadPool from Act 2 gave me a magic photo, showing my fail. It was downloaded and enjoyed. He ran off before vanishing. "I wonder if he's displaced?"
"Great, the barrier is broken." Cortana groaned as she forced another transformation. "EM conversion wave change." Mask was instantly replaced by normal Fandom Man in a skin tight suit with thick armor in needed places and a dragon themed futuristic crossbow. "Quick, pull down your visor!"
I did that, revealing radio waves and magic residue. "Can we run on the magic?"
"Yes, but Twilight Sparkle created a secure walkway." We heard rumblings of engines as vehicles beyond pony build sped towards the train's path. "You'd better hurry, Ghost Pony Rider has no mercy." Just as she said that, Nostalgia Critic's creation ran by roaring.
"Ghost pony rider~! Ghost pony rider~!" I sang as said pony cursed at me nonstop. "His head is blazing and his tail was tragic, 'cuz he never knew friendship~... was..."
"Go ahead! Say it!" he shouted.
I reverted to true normal, falling on my butt into the snow. "What have we done?!"
In the distance, Sombra and his displaced followers were trying to break Candence's shield, but that wasn't my focus. Surrounding the empire, many football fields away, masses of displaced humans gathered at two ends of the blizzard wasteland. There were signs of small fights, leading me to believe that one side was good, other evil, and among them were neutral people. ...Something like that.
Ghost Pony Rider sat next to me, "Holy sh-"
A screech filled the air, causing Sombra to pause in his attack. Once it silence a tapping was heard. It was Mayor Popeye, "We cant all be involved with the Crystal Empire. I was sent here to send some home and see who would be our hero. Don't worry, we have the support of J and K from the MIB agency, who has promised to wipe the ponies memories of this event. ...It was not meant to happen. My question to everyone is... Why change what's already good?"
Next thing I know, as soon as mostly everybody turns to leave Michael Bay's Shredder tosses away the invisibility cloak from Harry Potter as he decapitates Popeye and tossed something into the crowd. What the heck?! People began running away or attempting to fight whatever was... attacking... them.
"Species: Flood. Origin: Halo series. Oscar, ready a flame thrower and shotgun, the Men in Black cant handle this."
Mayor Popeye stood on his stage, the news in his hands since TV networks were down. "...All ham is 30% off at Hans Mart, but 50% off at Duck Hunt with every purchase of ham, you get one free item."
"Are you serious?!" Hans cried out in the crowd.
"Now onto alignments. hehe..." Mayor Popeye let out some muffled chuckles. "Some guy calling himself the Great Fandom Man is calling himself the hero type! Aint that adorable?" He flipped a page, his face going pale. "Samurai Jack has turned dark and is on a rampage. Hide your magical artifacts because he has "the Jackie Chan Adventures" Teslis... somethings. Look out for him."
I ran up to the stage and bowed, this was Equestria after all. "Don't worry, I will stop Jack."
Popeye glared down at me, "Kid, this no time for jokes."
(Present)
Crap. I actually looked up to Popeye for guidance!
Just as Shredder noticed a shift of air flow, I returned to normal from my Great Ape form and through the first punch. It was ineffective because it was my left hand, my ultimatrix activated its weapon systems as my right hand began to glow. "Falcon Punch!" He barely staggered, swinging more blades out of his arms as he began to shoot them at me. With the speed given by the secondary red color of my armor I dodged and tossed his knives. He then charged at me as I attempted another Falcon Punch, nobody moving without creating a shock wave. I backed up as he tried to stab me and summoned me Keyblade. "Foreteller Unicornis! Give me strength!"
I swung my left hand as an object appeared in it. Its hard for me to describe, but basically it looks like a mostly white keyblade with a unicorn head near the handle and the shape of sparks as the blade... The website Cortana pulled has it described as a Keyblade that is white with an ice motif. It was a cool and elegant design, made to survive the worst attacks and had a sleek design with a magic boost.
I quickly summon my Green Lantern ring and Cortana's Star Sapphire ring, glowing with power. Using my ring, I tied the ninja sash from the Starfire race around my waist. "Ninja sash." I lunged at Shredder, letting him stab me. Instead of hitting his mark, he got a taste of a Green Lantern Falcon Kick to his back and two keyblades at his head. He turned in time to see both me begin to circle him, one with Keyblades (Oscar) and the other (Conners) with the sword of the storm with the eye of dashi.
Conners tossed a whirl wind attack, giving Oscar a quick chance to trip the unmoving Shredder... it failed really bad as Shredder tossed some knives and followed up with a crescent kick and tossing Oscar into Conners. Two flashes of light and he was met by Conner's Red Ranger Humungosaur and Oscar's Skurd giving Conners taydenite boxing gloves. In sync we shouted, "Come at us, bro! I actually know how to team up with myself!"
"I didn't know you swung that way." Shredder said in an high pitch voice. A familiar high pitched voice. "I did not kill the Shredder just to see some kid try to hurt me. Go home and stay in your closet before mama finds out."
Oscar glared at him as Conners shouted, "No! You are not a displaced Betty!"
"I have a claw rope and your music protects me. I prefer Master Pain and do you want me to summon the council?" he asked, getting in a simple battle stance that made him look like a statue.
"No thanks, I don't like french operas," we replied, getting in an angered battle stance. "I rather keep my old American sanity."
"Rainbow lover, huh. I might see if I can return to Earth with your gay skull."
The two mes looked to each other, "What? Are you insulting me or just dumb?"
"NYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" He rushed and tacked us off the flying platform into the flood infested crowd. Conners became a saiyan as Oscar gave him Thangarian wings for effect. We sent the three of us into the sky, quickly batting him around. He took out his claw rope and swung it into Conner's chest, near Oscar's slime body on the ultimatrix. He landed back on the platform and pulled at us while tossiing the other end, ripping into our skin.
Oscar shouted, "Ninja sash!" As he selected another form. Falling towards the platform, DJ Echo Echo landed. "Ultimate Level One." I commanded, shifting in my taller blue form with the DJ PON3 additions.
Shredder Pain laughed his dumb laugh, "Music is my power boost, buffoon!"
"Same here." I droned. I tossed some more speakers as I began to punch him with both sound and fists. He tossed his knives at me as I obliterated them with a hand speaker. I ran up, rapidly kicking him and hopping off speakers to drop a wub boosted Falcon Punch. I somehow still had access to my green lantern ring as my chest glowed, giving transparent armor that fired rockets at Shredder.
"Big mistake, kid!" He broke my armor with one punch before slashing me without mercy, sparks coming out of my body. "You will die with your gay morals!"
I tossed some speakers, "Wall of Sound! Wall of Doom!" I tossed so many more that my two attacks hit him with a sudden push and ear shattering screech. "Listen to your voice. I'm the only straight one of the two of us. Stop that talk and focus."
"He's focused enough, look out!" Cortana warned as many red dots filled my radar. I turned back to see those flood-infected displaced attack me from the ground and air, using guns. Those who could jump up here or swoop down to attack did. I had to block fists and dodge gun fire and blades. I even took a grenade to the face in an attempt to dodge some fireballs. "Return to normal and aim your cure cannon."
"Cure cannon?" I asked, shifting into my Tamaranean form ad firing lasers from the sky.
"I think you know what I mean. There's no official name for it." There was some talking silence, but the sounds of battle was unavoidable... especially since bodies were now projectiles in this fight. "Cured the DNAliens in Ben 10: Alien Force...?"
"We have that?! Let's do this!" I flew over to a nearly empty area, using my powers to charge my ultimatrix before returning to normal. "100%... It actually worked. You may fire when ready and pull power from the rings."
Shredder pulled his invisibility cloak off and held me by my neck. "I have an empire. What do you have?!"
I looked past his head, seeing a pasted out minotaur the flood avoided. "Umm... I think I have a Hulk." I began tossing some ball pit balls at him, missing each time.
"What are you doing?" Shredder asked, not looking at Brute Banner.
"Your defeat is upon you, just continue tightening your grip until you actually choke me." I casually said, tossing a few more colorful balls at him faster. "Enjoy your- there you go. I can feel it..." I used my ring to drop the whole assimilated ball pit stash on him.
Brute woke up, sticking his head out of the puddle of colors. "Well, looks like he's in trouble," he mumbled. He got up and walked over to us, tapping Shredder's shoulder, who barely acknowledged him. "Yeah, can you put him down before I get angry? Pretty please with Sombra's defeat behind me on top?"
"What?!?" He turned back to see Spike fall to his doom and Shining Armor chunk his wife at Spike. The two soared high in the sky, the crystal heart in Spike's grasp being taken to its rightful spot.
"Quick! Charge the canon!"
"Now?!" I replied, not seeing a scratch on Shredder, an army of flood catching up to me, and Brute Banner looking calm. Looking at my status, most of my body was damaged so bad only my head was the only unharmed part of me... sooo my chances of defeating him is slim. I charged the energy in my ultimatrix.
"Alright, when the crystal heart spreads it's energy across the land we should be able to cure the displaced civilians and other possible foes."
"Will it defeat the Shredder?"
"Nope. You're screwed there, but you should get some back up." Shredder dropped me and ran towards the hills just as Sombra was blown up. My DNA-curing laser combined with the crystal heart's magic cured the all of the displaced and repaired my armor. "Deus Ex Machina. A crappy way to end a chapter of a story."
"I'm not complaining," I replied on the ground. I looked over to see the resurrected Mayor Popeye gain the credit for saving everyone... so yeah, I'm going to lay down for awhile...
Being reaccustomed to the hook blade from Assassin's Creed (and giving Cortana some time to repair the ultimatrix) I pulled myself up the palace balcony, witnessing the shocked expression of the glimmering mane six and the two shiny royals holding a gleaming Spike. Looking back, I saw what looked like a bon fire of flood spawn with bipeds and unorthadox ponies around it. Looking up, there were singe marks from lasers that lost their lethal power due to distance, but were strong enough for wounds.
"I am not good at explaining things, for the record." I tossed myself over the railing, landing on my face. After what I assumed was a minute, something poked my shoulder.
"Get up!" I looked up as the ponies glared at me and Spike tossing his stick away.
I sat up, "Question one: Do you know about the multiverse?" Rainbow was about to say something, but I cut her off, "I know! But my questions will open a can of answers, mmkay?"
"That was rude..." Rarity replied.
Twilight raised an eyebrow, "Let me guess, you're Displaced?"
"Um... yes actually. I'm one of the first few here." I let out a low cough, "How did you know?"
"Spike and I write a guy named Drake Long the American Dragon." Not surprised. He was never low-kee, but then again, they never saw him in his human form.
"NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" I looked behind me in time to see a Super Man toss a Nacho Libre and Steven at me, sending us through the doors.
I pushed the luchadors off me shouting, "I'm not Displopolis' door matt, dang it!! I swear, I have so much power that I can turn the city into a dictatorship if I turn evil..."
Nacho and his side kick shared a look, "Where did you come from, little one?" My armor took a black tint for a moment as they got up. They walked over to the group. He apologized to them before asking, "Do you know about the multiverse theory by any chance?"
That's it!
I held Nacho off the balcony by his neck as my armored turned black and white and my helmet shifted into Emile's helmet from Halo Reach. The difference was that the visor was jet black and my eyes glowed red through the helmet. "I will you give you the glory," I monotoned in a deep voice. "Just tell the Mayor that I'm tired." Steven and the ponies barely moved me in their attempt to save Nacho. I dropped him onto the balcony floor. "I don't want a metal or fame. I want my deserved respect that I give most of you."
I got up on the railing and fell backwards off the balcony, hearing gasps all the way down. I got up and walked away from the crack I made as I walked off.
"Welcome back," a different voice said. It was my personal program that got the pest out of my screen.
"Fools, Rouge. All fools."
"You're throwing a tantrum. I like it better when you corrupt-"
"Delete Rouge.EXE? Yes or No?" I said, my finger hovering over 'YES'.
"Wanna terrorize Our Town?" she asked, ears folded. I hit 'NO' and smirked as we ran off.
The white glow of my ultimatrix signaled its complete repair, urging me to use it. As I scrolled through I noticed forms like 'Saiyan' and 'Alien X' were locked and Q locked the '4TH WALL MADNESS' folder. "Well, this sucks. I guess I'm stuck with the average and animal forms." I scrolled through the forms, stopping at a particular form. "Should I?" I mocked indecisiveness.
"Just do it." Rouge said as I pushed down on the ring.
My body was engulfed in malice flames as my armor grew into a dark cloak and spiked boots with a silver gauntlet ending at my elbow. The ultimatrix rested on my chest, keeping the cloak on me. Rows of bladed teeth filled my mouth as my skin turned pale and my eyes yellow. Two horns poked out of my black spiked hair.
"A Homestuck troll... yeah..." Rouge mumbled dryly as magic filled my hand. "Snap out of it!"
Upon hearing the faint noise, I almost lost the hold on my magic. Blue energy swirled around me as my plasma ball destroyed a building and my reality changed. "Oscar Conners, focus!"
I landed in my motel in my neutral troll form (resembles a blue blood Karkat dressed like John with the ultimatrix as the symbol to keep my color scheme). I reverted to normal as I fell back on my couch. "Crap," was all I could say about the three or so minutes of darkness.
"Great. I turn my back to recalibrate our systems and you go dark on me." Cortana crossed her arms in a huff.
A bright blue Rouge the Bat came on screen, walking up to Cortana before pushing her over,"Good going, twinkle toes! I'm now stuck here with you two..." she finished between teeth. She then seemed to glitch before rubbing her chin, "Then again, its better than being stuck in digital limbo. I'll just watch... over here." Rouge faded from view as Cortana rolled her eyes.
"I cant tell if that was your emotions getting the better of you or what, but- I got nothing."
Still not in view, Rouge commented, "He was seeking respect, but I think he was just angry about Nacho's ass being too close to his face. Personal bubble stuff. By the way, you would make a great Batman the way you held Nacho over that balcony."
Cortana tapped her chin at thin, thinking of a response most likely when a surge of energy materialized into the room. It shaped itself in the form of Mew, not looking too happy. Actually, not happy at all. Totally angry.
Did you seriously threaten Ambassador Nacho?! "Did you seriously threaten Ambassador Nacho?!" Mew questioned in thought then out loud.
Static came from my speakers, "Yeah he did! It was glorious!! The fear in his eyes, the helplessness of his sidekick! Brought shivers to my 1s and 0s..."
"He didn't ask you Rouge."
"Pretend I didn't say anything. Except Mew, I doubt he will."
"No need to explain.I read everything. This wasn't the first and likely not the last," he floated down to a chair. "We know I already know about your... 'Dark Form'. But, I think you should elaborate yourself. Telepaths like me can only get surface thought while masters can read you fully within seconds."
"Seriously? I hate myself for going dark and you want a story?"
I could kick you out of here. "Sure, you need somebody's help on the matter." Mew said, acting nice according to his thoughts.
(After Discord's fall from power and before the Sombra war)
'Who are these ponies?!' I frantically asked myself. Running through a wooded village, I dropped some land mines, but none of them are going off. Don't worry, they don't have a large explosion radius, just enough to stun my pursuers. 'Are they dodging them?' Some sirens from my scouter warned me of fast moving lasers in my radar, triggering Cortana to turn me into Chromastone and absorb the energy. 'I recognize this energy... Its solar magic!'
I stopped, firing the energy at the passing Luna before a golden aura tossed me at a tree. Just as Celestia showed herself, I absorbed the magic and fired as I fell. Celestia dodged the blast, smirking as Luna impaled me with her horn.
"Thou hast hurt me!" Luna cried in anger.
"Well, nobody wins with a headbutt Lulu!" I responded. She gave me a quizzed look as I transformed into Goop, engulfing her in my goo before hopping off and- fell as a motionless puddle on the ground. I looked up to see my gravity saucer in Celestia's grasp. Luckily unlike Ben Tennyson, I have an A.I. on my side. As soon as Luna came close, my form jumped up becoming Hulk Rath (which is basically a two-tone green humanoid tiger (Rath) with bigger fists and less controlled anger) upper cutting the princess. Don't worry, I held back my claw so only a small scratch was on her chin. Then the anger trip came, my two black claws out in their full extension. "Let me tell you something pony princesses-"
"Not now, Oscar."
My form changed to Fast Track with my finger pointed out, a shrill voice replacing my low angry voice as I awkwardly finished, "-I've really got to go... See ya, bye!" I ran off, leaving dust on the two battle ready ponies.
"How thou responsible towards the close combat, sister." Luna stated as she flew ahead.
"Possibly, dear sister. It depends on thy circumstance."
I left there, panting in my normal form as I leaned on a tree. I hear a rustle above me and I see a black cloaked Yoda staring down at me. "Princess problems, you have, hmmmm?"
"Oh my god, you're Yoda!" I replied with a tired grin.
"Do you have the force?" he suddenly asked in an out of character voice. "I have a pill that gave younglings the force. I sell it to you for a bit." Well, I found one on the ground this morning and I can replicate food and toiletries...
"Well, I can trust Yoda!" I almost coin flipped the bit to him, holding it. "Umm... do you have water or something that will be easier to down?"
"Gummie worm, I have," he said back in the Yoda voice. "Only one is needed." I flipped the coin and he dropped a red-blue worm in my mouth red first.
"Sweet," I said in between bites. "Thanks!"
"Embraceyourdarkpower."
"What?" I asked, looking back up at him.
"Nothing, I said," he replied with a smile. "Concentrate, you must." Yoda pointed his staff to a boulder.
I stared at the rock twice my height, "I will try-"
"Do or do not! There is no try, darn it!" He paused as I winced at the volume. "Younglings... You know. Stressful..."
"Learning was surprisingly easy. When Luna arrived, Yoda tossed a black pill in her mouth then ran off. She choked for a moment before Celestia beat it down her throat. Medical science wasn't as advanced as it is today." I sighed as Mew scribbled some things down. "I tried using the force like I did with moving the rock, but I lost control of my hand and nearly killed Celestia, Darth Vader style. I ran off, breaking the connection as I slowly lost myself."
Cortana turned off the projector, ending the recording from that day. "That force worm did more than make him dark. Anything he willed became corrupt as he became faster, stronger, and smarter in his search for power. When we confronted Yoda years later, we learned the worm wasn't as concentrated as the pills. We can assume that's what made Luna Nightmare Moon, but there was some good in his products as a fail safe. He gave us a worm that had equal good on purpose, hoping being near him triggered the pacifist good side."
"We were able to control my dark side great, but when I became Hulk Rath he would slowly take over. The solution: replace Hulk with Wolverine." I hunched over with my elbows in my lap, sighing as my chin landed in the palms of my hands. "Being released I began to feel peace... until Nacho sent my head through crystal double doors and into a wall... made of harder crystal."
"... I did not think our epic return would involve a mexican wrestler and a diamond hard wall."
Mew shook his head, "The slaughter and burning of towns... From. A. Gummie worm."
"Hold on. Slaughter and what?!" I asked as my head shot up.
We hid the memories by sending our dark worm back in time. It became a part of you since day one and all that jazz. We implanted a better origin about you absorbing hellfire. Rouge explained offhandedly. "The worm was altered to give dark you pre time-travel memories and created two beings of concentrated dark or light."
After two weeks I was declared: "Lawfully Neutral?"
"That's what they said. I heard that you might get missions."
"Missions?" I asked, dumping coffee Mew bought me down the drain. "Rouge, remind me to return the coffee to Mew."
"Or you can use it as fuel." Cortana raised an eyebrow. "Dark Oscar constantly drained energy. Its first grade RPG video game logic!"
I used my new time warping magic and dumped the hot coffee down my back. "Will this work?"
"Sure, let's go with that. You have full HP, MP, and your bonus bar leveled up." Rouge said, absorbing the coffee into data. "Now, grab the bag and make some poise or phrase... anything."
I held my arm out, holding the coffee bag and can, then emotionlessly sang, "The best part of waking up, is Folgers in your cup~." They turned into a ball of blue energy that entered my system. "Looks like its in my inventory." In a plume of green smoke, a scroll fell to my feet. "Well, what do we have here?"
Dear Fondon Man, My name is General Elmo- yes the red monster and yes, I wore the costume for my son -I am looking for recruits for a dangerous mission. Its dangerous because it involves gang violence and a grey puffball Kirby that resembles the Godfather. Now imagine this: cute little Kirby being the head of a Displaced mafia with access to giant robots, either forcing my men to join him or eat them for their power. I need you to meet with "Because I'm Bat Man" or Nacho Libre for my secure location. Don't let me down. - Army General Elmo
"Should I take this seriously?" I asked my programs.
"Its written in crayon. Its probably a trap." Cortana said. "Its written in crayon. Let's beat some baddies!" Rouge said in sync, fist in the digital air.
"Why do I feel like DeadPool?" I asked myself as the girls glared at each other. "And why is Rouge still here."
"Sadly, "rouge.exe is not responding". I'm trying to end this, best I can."
"...You're job is to defeat Father K. Do I make myself clear?" A high pitched voice finished.
We stared at the tiny red muppet in a general uniform explain our mission in a serious matter. I promptly fell back and laughed with Rouge and Cortana. It was more literal since spoke inside of a holographic chamber where my two programs sat in desks at my side. Elmo leaped from his desk and tossed me into a wall.
"I was almost a high-ranking officer in Afgan, kid! That stunt you pulled on Nacho is nothing compared to what my soldiers could do." Cortana respawned in attention. As Rouge stared at him.
"Hold on, how can we do better than your soldiers?!" She questioned, pointing out a flaw in my plan.
"Has any of my students fought and successfully flee from Celestia and Luna in their prime? I'm just saying, if Father K doesn't out smart him then my guys will. Hell, even I see his many weaknesses." Elmo explained, holding out a data knife. The sight of the knife alone made the two programs gulp. "In here, his armor could be hacked by my knife and make it have the affects of a real one." The room turned black as green symbols surrounded and pulsed on me. Looking around, Cortana and Rouge as well as the desks and Elmo's knife actually glowed green. "As you can see, his face and watch wont be effected by my knife, but his body... big weakness."
"So what can we do about it-? Wow, my voice changed colors." Cortana's attention was like a squirrel for a moment.
"Lime green. Nice...? Meh." Rouge shrugged it off. "From the looks of this: we need to rearrange and upgrade your armor. Simple. If I may, I can start by protecting our power tanks better and give boots and gloves better traction. Heck, I could create a better magic matrix than this garbage."
The room returned to its previous form as Cortana glared at Rouge, her fists at her side.
"What? I'm not going to touch it unless you both allow me. I even have a few basic weapons in mind... Like the return of certain hidden blades?" Rouge winked at my a couple times and nudged the air.
"They weigh him down too much." Cortana countered.
"And giving him random junk in his pack instead of putting it in the inventory doesn't?" Rouge conjured a data screen, messing around with a picture of me and my armor. "If he was in Nacho's place, he would need hidden blades and a hidden pistol or two. We add traction and hydraulics in the legs he will run faster and jump higher."
Elmo's golf ball eyes rolled as he walked out of the room, "Be ready for the mission."
A day later and I found myself above the desolate city of New Fandom. The plane I rode on began lowering a bit.
"I have your waypoints." Cortana broke the long silence. A red x appeared on my radar, shown on my scouter.
Night vision turned on soon after, revealing destroyed buildings and machines. "When you jump, keep your knees bent on the way down. When I say 'go', jump off the robot's knee."
"Which one?" I asked. A blue diamond appeared, signaling me to jump.
"Ready? Go!" Rouge said as I pushed my legs down, my feet lightly meeting metal before I soared horizontally in the air without the parachute I used. "We're still going to need that!"
"Sorry!"
"We have flying forms, remember?"
"I figure stealth would be needed in this situation. How much stealth can you get from a bright green flash?!" A pink aura engulfed my arm from one of the rings I wore, making it use my hook blade to make an abrupt turn.
"What's going on?!" I questioned.
"I found a short cut to Father K's place. Apparently I figured the turn would decrease our momentum- Wait. You have your green lantern ring."
"You're no fun." "You're right."
My body glowed a dim green light as I lowed myself into an alley. I heard a gasp as a big green dot appeared on my radar. "Y-you're here, Conners..." Optimus Prime, or what was left of him, said with sparks flying from his eyes. "I really am in hell."
"If it makes you feel better: I "lost" Bumble Bee, but not without finally acquiring a Cybertronian form." He raised an eyebrow at my finger quotes. "Bumble Bee regained his sanity... sort of and left me. You can die in peace, but I wont let that happen."
"Great... I get tort-"
"I'm here to end Father K and supposedly liberate this place." I said triumphantly.
Optimus gave a low groan, "You fool. You just... fell into a... trap."
"How so?" Cortana asked.
"Elmo... he keeps sending... people in a city with... no exit, hoping to end Kirby." Optimus rose his body up with his remaining arm, revealing a make-shift cave. "Emo's army. The mighty... fallen..."
I ran in shouting, "I have health potions!"
Optimus sighed behind me and lowered himself back on his side. I didn't see or hear what happened afterwards as Optimus opened his mask to reveal a Kirby face button on his chin. "You fell into a trap."
"You're just now reading the Displopolis pamphlet?"
I followed the seemingly endless tunnel with the reading material in my grasp, "I have a list of the 'last things I'll ever do'."
"That's grim..." Rouge replied slowly.
"How? I cant multitask at an old age so I need one last thing to do, even if it turns out to be the last thing I do." I pocketed the pamphlet in my digital inventory. The hall slowly turned dark so I activated my fire element, using my left hand as a torch as my primary color visibly glowed a dim red. "I think I see an opening!"
"You stupid human, there's no- I sense an exit ahead."
"Here's a medal." Cortana said, giving Rouge data.
"There's neutral people on radar. Can anybody enhance the IFF tags?" I asked, walking slower as my flame dimmed nearing the entrance.
"We cant get anything." Cortana replied. "Rouge increased the range."
I activated my Iron Man helmet, using the new data inventory to switch the two. It actually resembled fireflies around my head swarming into my ultimatrix as the usual blue hexagons surrounded my head, solidifying the helmet. "Coms: Private. Stereo on stand by."
"Stereo?" Panels on my body slid out and down on my chest and pack, revealing protected sound systems.
"Losing stealth is the last thing I want to happen, thus it cant be last- thanks to my list," I commented. "Human Coms: Local." As soon as I stopped at the doorway, I returned to my usual color scheme and I began to change my moving pace.
Lyrics will be read in red until song ends on command.
"I read mind control tech! Hostiles inbound. Spawning phasers set to stun."
I'm a womans man: no time to talk. I fired two lasers to my sides as the Kens (one Barbie, one Street Fighter) there fell. I dodged and shot three robots lunging at me. And now its alright. It's okay. I drop kicked Ted and uppercut Johnny 5 (Short Circuit).
Whether you're a brother- I held Zelda's head in a headlock, she had a master sword for some reason. Hold on.Stayin' Alive. Stayin' Alive. Four Links in different colors fell on me, three having swords. The music cuts off as Slender Man appeared. That's when I noticed a connection.
I appeared nobody wanted to fight and the reason why was clear on Slender Man's head. Imagine his face being a refrigerator and the three pink metal Kirby faces were magnets. That's what it looked like. He pointed around, a voice sounding near and distant struggled to speak. "G-get the... pinah-ins."
Zelda returned her sword to purple Link as she bow, obviously forced. "For-or... or theEee glory of the Godf-faaaatherrr KirrRrrbEeeeEEe."
"Replenish your pin while you're there," one Link said angrily, the words less forced yet looked like it fed his anger. "Its not like our freedom matters or anything. I mean, we're shacked and fighting a nonexistent war." He sarcastically followed up, his honest thoughts not being censored.
"Red-ED-eed Link-ck...ink! Hold thy tongue!" Green Link said, at first forced before concern took the tone. "Do you know what Kirby will do to us?!"
"What's going on?" I asked, getting everyone's attention.
Purple Link smirked, obviously knowing something. "You will become one of us. Simple. Free will is earned unless you find a loophole- wwhich doesn't-tt exissst! You will be happy in Dream Land."
"I found an incomplete Kirby scan. Convince them to take you to him."
"Thank you. The welcome wagon seems forced, but I'm here to see Kirby." I mentioned. They looked behind me as soft steps came near. "Sorry for the pain. Ultimatrix: Taz." I transformed into the Tasmanian Devil, rapidly spinning in a mini tornado before returning to normal and grabbing a Slender Man scan. I tossed a pokeball into the air, summoning Cyborg Mew Two. "Read their minds."
Relaying Kirby's whereabouts to you. I nodded, now knowing Kirby's location and returned him to his pokeball.
I activated my earth element, merging with the ground as I traversed the stone basement floors. I met some guys that looked like the mafia from Penelope Pitstop, but taller and knocked them out as I grabbed some gear for stealth and disguises which are a must since my gear became out of date.
"I'm assuming he's friends with Sombra." Cortana said dryly as I finished climbing the steps.
"That's why I suggested flying. Or... I don't know? Teleporting!"
"Rouge, I'm over powered as it is," I replied, smirking despite my sore legs. "I want to even the playing field."
"Well, who do we have here? A new worker?" A small grey Kirby in a suit asked. He barreled at me, engulfed in flames as I absorbed the fire with my hand, causing my fire element to activate upon contact. My body turned red as I held a flame thrower at him.
"That wont work."
"Fine, then. How do I fight him?" I asked, tossing a grenade as he absorbed it. "See?!" Instead of changing appearance, he ran up and froze me in ice before swinging a hammer that sent me across the room. He took out an Uzi and began to fire the submachine gun at me.
"How about you stay down!" Kirby shouted.
"How about no!" I replied, tossing razor blades at him. He sucked them up, reloading his guns to fire tiny razor blades with electricity. I suddenly felt numb as I fell behind a wooden desk, apparently Kirby's desk.
"New form acquired!" I shouted in a high pitch voice. I hopped out as a white Kirby with blue feet, the ultimatrix on my fore head. I wore a safety vest as my own Uzi was in my grasp. We fired at each other, he dodged my shots and kicked my face. I focused some power and shot a star at him. He absorbed it and took out a fistol... which is apparently a pistol that fires falcon punches.
"You cant copy me or anything! What're you going to do? Become a wooden chair for me to burn?" Godfather Kirby asked, getting close. I tried inhaling, but he stood his ground. "I thought so." He pointed the guns at my head, specifically the ultimatrix. "That devise..." He promptly sucked me up and I saw nothing.
Hold on... why am I in space?
"Cortana told you it was a bad idea. Why did you listen to me?!" Rouge complained.
"Any guesses as to how long we stay here?"
"Where is here?" I asked.
"Kirby's mouth is a gateway to a pocket dimension."
I began to laugh inwardly as I smiled, "Big mistake, dude. I'm so OP, he cant stop me!"
"Equus to Oscar, look around! We cant fight space." Cortana explained. I reached my ultimatrix before stopping. "What are you doing?"
"Ultimatrix, Alien X." My Kirby form glowed green as it grew into a black bipedal being.
"Well, I guess we did win."
"Motion denied," Mario stated. "Kirby is Nintendo. I am Nintendo."
"Seriously, brother?" Luigi asked. "This is Nintendo."
"Elmo is not happy to see you," the small, red general of our army said in his attempt at a superior tone. "I gave a direct order to catch that plane!"
"Thanks for the time frame." I turned around, pointing at my ninja sash. "I'm currently waiting for me. Kirby ate my alive, now I'm ready for round two and he doesn't even know about round one."
Elmo blinked a bit before glaring up at me, "What're you rambling?!"
"What I'm rambling is the fact that I just rebooted a section of this timeline so I can complete my mission."
"You lost me."
"Alien X can screw around with time-space as long as the three personalities agree on something. Though Q would've done a better job." Rouge explained.
"So you're saying, you've failed the mission?" I nodded, testing my hidden blades and adjusting its speed. "Now you have full intel on the situation?"
"Yes, and when my plan works," I began. I tested out some magic I gained by summoning... summoning keys. Either this is Fairy Tale or Kingdom Hearts, but its cool if I can summon some Zodiac. "I will have an army at my side."
"You mean if it works." Elmo corrected.
"No, when. I have that 'sands of time' stuff like I'm the prince of Persia or somethin'." I turned my attention back to him, "That last part is actually unconfirmed, but it might be possible." I took out a gun I equip as my side arm, firing tiny fist at the air above him. "He's not the only one with a fistol."
I hid in the alley where Optimus hid the cave entrance, Elmo on my back like Yoda. Optimus gave a low groan, "You fool. You just... fell into a... trap." He paused. "You even brought... him."
I pointed my fistol at his face and fired, "Can it General Akbar." I suddenly remembered a vital detail as Optimus' face guard flew open, tossing the pin on the ground. "Bumble Bee isn't with me. He's looking for you so I instructed him to wait at base for your return."
"I guess I cant kill the messenger now," he said, slowly rising and prepping what Micheal Bay gave him. "Let's go."
I raised my hand, "Hold it, you are my back up. If things go south, I need you to prepare a means of escaping certain doom." I pointed to the cave, "Slenderman will take Elmo back to headquarters if we're not back when that happens."
"No, Elmo is staying with you!"
I gave a soft chuckle, "A captain goes down with his ship and you're far from water. Displopolis needs you to return and lead its army."
"This is the army, not the navy." Elmo stated.
"I'm the son of a marine, I'm as flat footed as they get, but I'm sure some lessons were learned." I ran into the cave, "Swiggity Swooty!!!"
"You fool..." Optimus said behind us, unheard from me.
It was glorious! Tiny falcon punches flew as I recovered from a bullet-time moment. I pulled plastic Ken's arm off and used it as a staff for defense, firing the pins off everyone. When the room was liberated, I swung Ken's arm back in place and tossed Elmo at Slenderman. Elmo was loaded with two fistols custom made for him as he shot pins off the urban legend.
We ran up some stairs, liberating things from a Level 1 Potted Plant to a dancing robot with lasers and a fishing rod. I even learned how to use Elmo as a boomerang, despite his wishes. He was even used against those gangsters from last time, taking them down record time.
Elmo glowed at me from the ground, "I swear soldier-"
"I'm not your soldier. I'm more of a friend and gun for hire," I twirled my fistol on my finger. "You chose to be with me."
"Point taken." I grabbed him by the collar as I shifted into my saiyan form. "What're you doing?!"
"Avoiding the stairs, duh. He's expecting us," I informed him. We instantly transported to Kirby's floor, going up some stairs in my normal form. I cycled through some gold and silver keys, finding my champion.
I rolled through some double doors, looking around the room I fought in. Wooden desk, relics of past foes hung up, green carpet, two walls of bookshelves, and a large picture of our target above a leather chair with its back facing us. It slowly turned with a grey Kirby with a black suit and pin-thin mustache smirking at us. "General Elmo Garfeild, its been a long time. And you, kid," I had a death grip on the key I had at my side. "A fistol of a similar design as mine? You might've restarted time or we have similar tastes in guns."
I pointed my key at him, "I open the gate of the lyre!" A flash of light erupted, summoning a green unicorn sitting on a bench.
"Wow, Bon Bon was right... I had too much cider," she relied as I sent her back, grabbing another key.
That key is also known as my keyblade, that I recently named... "Say hello to 'Little Friend', Kirby!" I had it's canon pointed at his face.
He pushed it away, smirking. "Let's make a deal, Elmo."
"I don't make deals with criminal scum!" Elmo shouted, pulling out his knife.
"Oh, but its an offer you cant refuse!" He directed his paw to a screen that replaced his picture, showing an orange monster in a pink dress and a baby Elmo being held at gun point. "You should've stayed at home~."
"Zoe! I'll save you!" Elmo cried out.
"She cant hear you," Kirby stated. "She thinks you're dead... which isn't a lie, pondering on it."
A holographic screen was displayed from my chest, showing a garden of watermelons with rubber bands being added to them. "What about your watermelons?! You let them go or they spoil faster than planned."
"After losing your food supply, you would have to risk leaving this bubble." Rouge added with a satisfied smile.
"Nice try, ladies," Kirby said, splitting the screen to show custom Kirby viruses surround them. "I've already sucked up my food supply for an eternity."
I wagged my finger at him, revealing my omnitrix on my left wrist, "You hacked the old rig." I popped the dial of my ultimatrix, Q showing up, "You kill Elmo's family and my programs, I'll allow Q to abuse his powers."
"Are we just programs to you?!" Rouge questioned, bitterly.
"Yes, but I don't ask sisters on a date." I stated, adding, "That would be weird."
Kirby frowned, "It looks like we're at an impassable odds."
Elmo glanced back at me, "Keep Q on stand by, he's mine."
I backed away to the far corner, "Ninja Sash!" I split in two, one joining Elmo. This broke the viruses from our hold as I resummoned my keyblade to Kirby's face. "I got eaten by a Kirby, I'm definitely fighting with you. Besides, two cute things duking it out... I'm adding myself to decrease the diabetes level."
Kirby... why did he have to be Kirby?! Also, I'm afraid of General Elmo.
That's what I saw when the bass dropped. Kirby was abusing Echo's powers, using a frequency to mess with my tech... except for my ultimatrix, which means I have to cycle through the data base instead of voice commands. I don't know how Elmo does it, but he was able to hold off Kirby for a minute with his hairy hands, but my systems had to take longer recalibrate. Great.
I took off my metal back pack, grabbing some small items to use like grenades and Captain America's Shield. My version of the shield is different though, with the use of summoning magic- you get the idea. I ran over to Kirby in time for him to almost swallow Elmo, thankfully I have a form for that. I became Lodestar, using my claw to magnetize Elmo's bits, which are kept in heavy duty pockets in his nearly indestructible pants. I pulled him out just as I attracted batarangs at Kirby.
"What have you done?!" Elmo cried, a nuke in his arms.
"I didn't give him a nuke that he could use against us." My buzzing voice replied, "You realize his stomach is a pocket dimension, right?"
I transformed into Wreck It Ralf Fourarms, not holding Elmo as he fell behind me while I made a U-turn back to our foe. Kirby tossed shirikens at me, no damage being made thanks to my huge fists. I held my fist high, sending them down until they stopped in Kirby's paw. "Nice try, kid," he said, a gleam in his eye. "I'm a lover and a fighter. Shuriuken!" I was shot up, almost hitting the ceiling, but stopped when I became Gravattack, hovering in place. "So, you're quick on the draw, hmm?"
"Ryu... I'm not an expert on Street Fighter, but I may be in trouble." Kirby sprout wings, flying up to me with a bow and limitless arrows. Using my gravitational field, I returned his arrows with ease... but something seemed off.
"Cortana.exe is active. Quick, back away!" I floated in reverse as a ball of energy passed where I used to hover. Cortana turned me into Vynal Scratch Echo, dropping me in front of a blue Godfather Kirby, who multiplied the same way echo did except the clones were different colors. I countered with my own clones, screaming a sound canon formation at him before our hands began to glow, bringing out smaller versions of my keyblade.
The four Kirbys drone out the sound and took out Kingdom Key D's, flaring a clone's anger. One me pointed out, "That's Mickey's blade!" The rest of the me's gasped before glaring and getting into wrecking ball formation. A few clones hung from the ceiling, using their keyblades to stay up as a ball of me's with keyblades pointed out were swung at the Kirbys.
It was suddenly a no clone fight with me and Kirby locking blades. Speaking of blades, Kirby winced, looking back to see Elmo's knife in his back, with its owner moving it around in the would. He took out a salt shaker, empting it into Kirby's back. Kirby took out a remote, pressing a red button, "Save your girl, Elmo!" He ate the remote, healing the wound. "On second thought, let the sharks deal with her."
"Sharks? They have guns pointed to their heads!" Elmo reminded.
"I'm saving money, killing off back stabbers," Kirby darkly chuckled. "Tick. Tock. Tick." Elmo ran out, taking out a gadget I assume tracks things. I hopped backwards, glaring at Kirby when I stopped. He smirked, summoning Cyclops shades on his face that shot a red light up and down me. "And they say copy was useless."
"What?" That was literally unexpected. He sucks things up, gains powers- Why does he have an ultimatrix hat that clearly resembles my ultimatrix in watch form?! "Where did you get that?!"
"You just now. Temporarily sacrificed my other powers for yours... pretty weak until you find the watch. Or hat in my case." The dial popped up, allowing him to use it before he stopped. "This will be the ultimate opportunity to permanently kill and absorb you."
"Ultimate: Level One: Active." JARVIS droned from both ultimatrixes, evolving us. I simply became Ultimate Vynal Scratch Echo while Kirby...
Kirby glowed green as his body grew to a PAC MAN shape, limbs being given to him. The ultimatrix ring was below his mouth, which had rows upon rows of spiked teeth and blood red eyes. His arms looked strong and his legs looked like they could kick my head clean off. His suit adapted to the new look as he fixed the rose on it, "I have an offer you cant refuse: yield." He commanded in a raspy voice.
"In the words of Avicii," I said, taking a battle stance. "Wake me up when this is over."
As soon as the music starts, Kirby stops long enough for me to swing my foot across his face and rapid punches to him a few times. He caught my fist, but was screamed away by a speaker next to him. Kirby began to create a black hole with his mouth, luckily voice commands work.
"Ultimatrix: Thangarian!" I commanded.
"Thangarian," JARVIS droned, transforming us into strong, winged men. I held my mace in both hands as I made it make contact with Kirby's mace. Kirby still had his suit, but the rose was gone. He swung around, using his tie to choke me. "Goop." JARVIS droned.
"We can control what you two become!"
"Well, isn't that convenient," I said in my high pitched, gurgling voice as my blue slime self floated away from the pink slime that was Kirby.
"Rath."
We stopped in place, transforming into two angry tiger aliens that looked similar to each other.
Both Raths stared at my ultimatrix, "Stop Rick Rolling Rath!!!" We made quick eye contact, growling and still syncing, "No, I'm Rath! Stop it! I will end you!" We lunged at each other, clawing and punching without strategy or even attempting skill... like a slap fight with fists and super strength. It was actually amusing having the recording from the security cameras.
"Let me tell you somethin' not Rath! Rath will make you eat dirt and you will be dirt!" I shouted.
"Bored."
"Cannonbolt," JARVIS droned as we transformed into identical round aliens, Kirby's shell being pink instead of yellow. "Warning: Princess closing in on your position."
"Wrap this up, Celestia brought some guards!" Cortana informed as we clashed in our rolled up ball forms.
"We can handle her!" Rouge declared.
"Oscar is not a ruthless killer or merciless brawler," Cortana reminded. "I'm going to try something."
"Kirby." Our suddenly squishy bodies bounced off each other, crashing into damaged books and shelves.
"What're you doing?!" I demanded, watching Godfather Kirby leaped out of his pile of books.
"What happens when a Kirby sucks a Kirby?"
Realization suddenly hit me, "The power of the sucked Kirby is transferred to the sucking Kirby!" The windows behind the desk broke as pegasi guards filled the room, blocking my access to the Kirby as spears were pointed at me. "Sorry, sir," I said before sucking the poor guard into me, gaining gold armor with a blue Mohawk, wings, and a spear in my grasp. I summoned Cap's shield as I plowed through the guard's comrads, firing the guard out of me as a star. When he returned to his normal form, he already took out some guys in front of me.
A stabbing pain followed behind me as I ran, arrows finding a place along my back. I tossed my shield skyward, knocking out some guards with the lucky toss as I finally got to Kirby. Apparently he had the same plan, but Cortana was quicker than I, giving him a pillow that made him fall asleep. I sucked the Godfather Kirby inside of me- he tasted like pasta and cheese.
I turned around, meeting Celestia's glare as her wings flared. Before she could speak, I held a paw, "You might want to back up, Tia..."
I opened my mouth as light shown inside, Celestia's eyes wide, "Mother of me-" The force of the blast of stars shot me through some walls and down the hall as the stars became people and ponies again. I fell down the flight of stairs and past Optimus Prime as I saw Celestia and guards get shot from high a few buildings over.
Optimus stared at me and the Princess, "So he really did warp reality..." The more stars that left me the more clear the sky was as the sun displayed itself, shining all over.
"He's not going to get them all out in time!" Cortana shouted, displaying the leftover power I had. "Combining Kirby and Echo." In a flash of green light, to the surprise of Celestia and her nearing guards, a pink Echo clones themselves into twenty Echos firing stars. "How many did Kirby eat?!" Suddenly a wide variety of enemies were shot out. From the weakest of soldiers to the strongest of warriors from any time and franchise were being shot out. The Kirby Echos increased to compensate and the flow quickened until it slowed down.
The last star to be shot was Godfather Kirby, who was too weak to stand and just lied on the ground. I took my pillow from him, placing it in my inventory as the Echos merged into one. The ultimatrix made three shrill beeps before returning me to normal, it power drained. I took a knee to the ground to gather my breath as a shadow loomed over me, and it wasn't from Kingdom Hearts.
"Fandom the Random," Celestia began, "I don't know if I should send you back into stone or congratulate you for returning lost ponies-"
I stood up, accidentally using my head to strike Celestia's chin. "Sorry about that, but I guess we're even for the dumb name." My Iron Man helmet was swapped out with my Mega Man X helmet. "Also, your description of me need some tweaking. It was your tenth try, there was no proof of foalnapping, my sword doesn't allow me to phase through walls, and my name is 'the Great Fandom Man'."
Among the crowd I spat out, some called me jerks while Optimus said, "Still sounds stupid."
"Anyway, I wont allow you take me anywhere so I'll give you a warning: I'm a struggling spirit. There's evidence of murders happening when my balance is dark," she rubbed her chin, glowering at me. "...so tread carefully. I intend no harm to your ponies so you can take me off your hit list."
"I still wont allow you to leave," she said, her guards nearing me.
"Fine, take me with you. I can free some innocent stone statues and have scum like Kirby take their place."
"You will be in my garden alright."
"Quiet!" I voice shouted, cutting us off. General Elmo gave Zoe baby Elmo, walking near Celestia. He gave a Roman salute before bowing.
"Elmo," the princess addressed.
"Princess, if I may."
"Proceed?"
"This kid just brought back long lost ponies both recent and somehow preserved." He stood up, directing a hand to Derpy Hooves and a green pony in a hood to come over. He whispered to the former to return to the crowd as he pointed to the latter, who seemed nervous. " read a history book and in mentioned book, there was a mare named Clover the Clever, who ran off and was never seen again."
With a green aura the brown hood was pulled back as Celestia's eyes widened. A green, brown maned pony stood there, "H-How do you d-do?" she asked bowing.
Elmo smirked, "With all due respect, your highness, he just defeated a dangerous foe that wasn't taking him seriously. I still don't take him seriously, in fact. Who wears armor and a huge back pack?"
"I also wear capes on occasion and I'm relearning magic so I can turn you two into an orange!" I shouted.
"I see what you mean, General. I expect your men to keep an eye on him," the princess said.
"Yes, ma'am." He turned to the crowd, "Those of you in my army, seek out civilians and those still under control. You're also allowed to help send ponies to Canterlot Castle, where the nobles and royalty will take over. Dismissed! Go home!"
I woke up with a hard thud on some asphalt, my eyes popping open. I activated my watch as I studied the night sky with Mew hovering over me in PJs and an angry look. 1:48 AM I noticed that there were also other people, most not paying attention to me. I got up, rubbing my head, "Mew, what's-" He shoved a hand on my mouth and pointed.
Mayor Popeye giving the news? What's so important about this news? Is his AC broken again or does he need batteries and decided to rant? I wasn't the only one upset about the sudden wake up call, either as people and ponies with the occasional hybrid or nonpony species made their displeasure clear.
"Everybody and everypony! I have some terrible news-" at this, people began leaving, but stopped when they heard, "-involving Twilight Sparkle and the season pause!" OK, now I'm interested. "Is there a genius character, logically from Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius?"
Nacho Libre got up, handing him a paper before speaking, "Is there a Jenny Neutron?" Oh, hey, that girl from the party. "Whether by peer pressure, guilt, or law enforcement we need you to come up on stage! We have a reason to believe that you put Ms. Sparkle in a... well... book coma." Some people nervously chuckled, some were enraged that their 'waifu' was in a coma- The people were in disarray, let's go with that. Suddenly, all eyes were focused on some brown hair that stuck up with a red scrunchie that made a Q shape at the very top.
When she arrived on stage, she looked pretty ticked. "Was it book gum?" She finally asked when she reached the steps, hands balled in fists and a serious tone in her voice.
Popeye took the stand, "According to these here medical records, it involved choking on gum and too much consumption of knowledge at once."
"Somebody broke into my lab and stole some inventions, one being my dog and the book gum," she took out a piece of orange gum, thanks to my scouter I saw that it was booked shape. "You chew one of these and you never have to read! The problem is: you can only chew one. The thief probably didn't know that. Anyway, what's a season pause?"
"I was getting to that," Popeye said, placing his signature pipe in his mouth for once. "Twilight needs to be princess, but the universe doesn't care when it happens as long as Sunset Shimmer arrives afterward. Think of the universe as having writers block, see?"
Jenny seemed to be a statue for a moment before her hand shot up, "Brain blast! I need the test twins and Coop, master of Technology a.k.a. Fusionfall Dexter. With our combined brains we can reverse engineer my gum and possibly get the show on the road!"
Mayor Popeye gave a thumbs up, "I'll be checkin' on yer work." Jenny ran off the stage as Popeye shifted some notes, "Since everyone is here-" Again, people began to leave. "I'm hosting our 100th Annual Beyblade Tournament!" Some people stayed and others left, excitement in the remaining voices. I've been at a Beyblade Tournament before... just at a 'Toys R Us' and NOT in magic pony land. "For those who are interested, but have no clue about what a beyblade is then now and high noon is the best time to learn!"
Here's the abridged version: they are metal tops that are customizable. You can change their weight, the creature symbol on top, and add things to up your game. I had a lime green spring and a yellow-thing that made my blade seem to have more air time. I forgot if I had a dragon or pegasus, but it was cool none-the-less. In the anime, the creature attachments that clip on your beyblade contained spirits that would control your blade- its like pokemon, but with plastic and steel tops. The point of the game is to either keep your top spinning or knock everyone out of the ring that would be set up.
"The winner will get a grand prize of 1000 bits or an item of equal value. We take our game very seriously, so get out there and LET. IT. RIP!!!"
"I mean seriously! This is the twentieth time this month I had to go to Our Town to save delivery ponies," I complained, hauling a wheel less wagon along side Moe Mew, Rafiki, Cyborg Mew Two, and Eevee Mon... oh and Trixie, but she only held her rope as she sat on the wagon.
"Hurry up, the Pies are paying Trixie to return on time!" Trixie Lulamoon shouted. The Mews tried to knocker her out phycickly, but her ego over powered their attempts.
"Rock salt! We're pulling a giant rock wagon filled with salt! What's wrong with local products or sea salt?!" I looked to my assistants, "Can I at least use a transformation or create wheels?!"
"Wheels are demons from the depths of Tartarus, may Celestia or any aligned deity have mercy on you."
"I'm aligned with Talos," a yellow robed man said, before he ran off.
I let out a tired groan, "Crap, he's headed straight for Displopolis."
"Is he bad?" Mew asked.
"If you've played Skyrim then he gets old really fast," I said the last part in clenched teeth, remembering that guy's endless rant of the fictional god. ...Besides my game character is the Mara type. Wanting a topic change, I asked, "So has anybody signed up for the beyblade tourney?"
"Trixie tried, but they said Trixie couldn't handle being turned into data. hmff!" Trixie glared at nothing in particular, "I bet they're worried I'll destroy the virtual stadium."
"You lost me. I'm talking about beyblade," I countered.
Oscar, the tournament is inside a super computer. Saves money and decreases the level of collateral damage, Mew Two mentioned, displaying images in my mind so detailed, they almost looked like their in front of me. The pictures flew over to Mew, who pocketed them.
I know that look. 'Who carries a polaroid camera?' I do! "I know that-"
"Look?" I asked, getting an annoyed grunt from the little man. "So its like the Grid or maybe Lyoko?"
Something like that. The people participating will be the first ones to visit the new town based on the two virtual worlds... with a little digimon type stuff. In fact, that's how it got its name: Lyoko-Grid a.k.a. Project Matrix.
Rafiki took out his staff from his robe, knocking the Mew heads. "Technology destroys everything! Soon people in that town will question whose real and what is real!"
"Cortana, cycle through my forms and find my strong forms," I commanded as the task started.
"Hey, Cortana, pick this one!"
"Rouge, what are you... I actually want to see his reaction."
I began to glow green as my body turned a dark blue, my arms compressing into a ball that grew along with four others underneath. My legs shrunk, a third one sprouting as my torso stretched taller and the six balls gained spikes. My mouth got wider as my nose was replaced with the ultimatrix and my eyes popped out of my skull, attached to blue eye stalks that weren't even with each other.
"I thought you were pointing at Huggo!"
"No! Thresher! See? Experiment 544."
"Ha ha, very funny. Now change me into something better," I commented dryly.
"Wow, Trixie didn't think you would get uglier," Trixie commented with a frown. My maces turned out to be attached to a compressed spring-like tentacles that shot out at Trixie, one knocking her out while the others missed.
"Never mind, I think I like this form."
"I think I can agree with you," Rafiki replied. "It would be wrong to do that later on."
From then on, we made a stop to attach wheels to the wagon and completed the trip. Trixie didn't wake for some reason only I know that has been unconfirmed. We should assume she's in a coma... or sleeping. Also she has a purple spot from my mace that appeared out of nowhere. Luckily it faded once me and my pokemon returned her in time.
"Um... I want to enter the tournament?" I said, looking at he people registering with... nicer and less crazy people.
Edna Mode handed me my requested autograph before putting her hands in he 'tent' position. "No. After that."
"I haven't been converted into a ghost, pure magic being- well, not entirely true -,data, energy, or had an out-of-body experiences...?" I said, looking between Mew and Edna.
Moe Mew held his hands up, "I was stuck in a pokeball for a week!"
"Anyway, if I had they weren't in my normal form," I said, waving my ultimatrix.
Edna stared at it before fixing her glasses, "Tacky look, tacky technology... Would you like a health form? It wont cure your style, but you'll be allowed- Well, after you pay the entre fee."
I took out my schedule, "What quest do you-"
"Quest? Quest?! QUEST?!!" Edna got up on the table and started smacking me with her clip board. "You think we are a petty charity corporation?! No quest!"
I removed a hand from my face, "So... its free?" Everyone around winced at how dumb the question was.
Edna hopped back in her seat, glaring at me, "What kind a fool are you? A circus freak?"
A Ronald McDonald nearby exclaimed, "I take offence to that!"
I looked to Mew for help as he shrugged. "Sorry, the bank is closed and Trixie took my wallet."
Suddenly Edna and Mew... and hopefully everyone else turned their gaze to something. Seeing I was temporarily saved, I turned my head to see the crowd of people part for this one kid.
All around the auditorium screens relaying Tournament Information began displaying static until an unreadable, unhuman, unequestrian language displayed on the screen, breaking off until "G:KND 1" was displayed in the semifinals next to a question mark.
"Those who wish to get in without problem must beat my blade." There were murmurs through the crowd. "Its a normal beyblade that I'm not bringing to the semifinals. Interested?" When he asked this, he seemed to be looking at me.
"...Our beyblade is... fabricated...? I'm not going to ask how, but the resources are from an Anon... Likely that guy."
"Plus, we're getting info on this guy from Time-base. Who is that guy?!"
Time-base is a supercomputer hooked up to a corporation full of time travelers. Its an unspoken rule translated to everyone to stay away from it unless Time-base wants you. It has been said... or yet to be said, that hackers are never the same once that can of bean is open.
As if in a trance, I pushed my way through the crowd as Mew pulled on me. When I got close to look down at him, his serious tone became less serious as we took out our beyblades. Almost as one we said, "Let it rip."
We stood across each other, a ten foot diameter round ditch in the middle.
"There are no bugs or viruses found and Time-base confirms that this is a fair game." Cortana informed.
Number One smirked, "I hope you're ready to face my Red Rainbow Monkey-"
"That doesn't sound too bad."
"-because my Count Spankulot will... you get the idea."
"Let's do this!"
"Hold on. I want to inform you that I changed your beyblade parts to make it more bulky."
"Why would you do that?!" I whispered back.
"Do you want to reveal your hand before the game starts?" I shook my head, refocusing on Uno.
Edna Mode held a loud speaker, "Here we have a battle against Mr. Uno... and that thing." Her smile grew as I rolled my eyes, "3! 2! 1! Go!"
"What is this? A race?" I asked as I pulled the cord, spinning and releasing my beyblade into the ditch.
Number One frowned and began messing with a piece of tech, not even looking at the fight! Once he was finished, he sat at the edge, watching me. I felt myself shrink as I turned into DJ Echo.
"He's scanning us!"
"I would call it 'probing', but- I'll shut up now."
An announcer (with the silkiest voice I've ever heard) smoothly spoke the next few actions, pulling my attention to our beyblades. "Red Rainbow Monkey is closing in on Lucky Bear!"
I shook my head before focusing on the nearest screen, showing images of a round red ape with a tiny rainbow antennae body slam a green care bear, nearly knocking out my beyblade. "Why do I have a care bear?!" I questioned, my voice the usual high pitch metallic drone.
"Its Lucky Bear, also we're in a world owned by Hasbro. It was either a Care Bear or a Potatoe Head." Cortana informed.
"Also we're broke so we grabbed the free stuff. What? It's true!" Rouge seemed to have a one sided conversation with Cortana... again. There was a pause as my beyblade spun over Number One's beyblade, seemingly taking energy for its own spin. "I can edit your face right now!"
"OK, fine. We're doomed and I thought Lucky Bear would be a good idea."
Both beyblades lost their momentum and slowly stopped. I sent a clone to toss our beyblade back at me before cloning and merging himself up to me before merging with me. That trick is fun!
We locked our beyblades into their launch pads and pushed the long pins back in place.
"Database complete. Mr. Uno has an stamina type beyblade. ...And we have a defence type."
"Meaning?!" I asked as Red Rainbow Monkey repeatedly knocked at my Lucky Bear, moving it slightly.
"I got this."
"Dumb it down for him."
"His beyblade has a pointed tip keeping in moving longer while yours... its a tank. Tank cannot win a race against a car, but they can destroy the car."
"Sounds reasonable."
"Though we're not experts in beyblade building so we might have a balance type. In that case, we are definitely screwed!" Rouge suddenly shouted as my beyblade threatened to fall over. On screen, my Lucky Bear appeared tired and yet wasn't backing down from its menace.
"He doesn't want to beat us, he wants to outlast us!"
"Also known as 'he wants to beat us.' You are aware that your beyblade must stay spinning while his stops in order to win, right?"
I heard a bunch of static and ten clicks before Rouge spoke, "You were a sore loser and Number One began to attack us thinking we were some dumb time agent that just so happened to find him even though he locked time where he stood. You decided to fight back, screaming dubs in his face. Then..." There was some laughter as my spine felt numb and my arm began to flail out of control.
"The crowd got angry. They attacked you because you punched a kid with sound even though he had a gun at your face. While you were in mid transformation to your normal form a fast Displaced damaged the ultimatrix, leaving you in a mess of DNA and metal. The Nurse Joys rushed you to the nearest hospital and left a note saying that you were banned from the tournament for your own safety." Rouge stopped laughing and began a low chuckle. "Its like a puzzle trying to fix you! I'm surprised you're not a mutant!"
There was a minute of static before somebody spoke. "...Cortana?"
"Yeah?"
"Cool, you're still with me. I guess the system has a HUGE problem."
My consciousness was fading, but as soon as I got control... something was off.
"Well... I feel weird." I... said? It was my voice, but a bit raspy. "I can hardly feel my face!"
"Oh, you have feelings. Good to know!" I also said? It was... nice sounding. For some reason, my vision is blurry and I can feel some of my chest and right leg... which felt myself pivot as my head moved on its own."Well, that was rude of myself! What are you doing to me?"
"Screw you dress man, I did nothing!"
"Great! We broke him." Cortana said, tossing her arms up.
"Cortana?! What is that bitch doing here!"
"I do not say those words!" "We do not say those words!"
Both voices were in sync.............. WHAT?! I suddenly heard wing flaps as I rolled into the nearest wall, floor, and last the ceiling and back on my bed where the blanket stopped my wing. My wing?!
"How the hell did the kid get here?!" I demanded from my left side... a black armored fist in my vision while a white aura covered hand came from my right. "...The hell happened to us?!" My head began to spasm in different directions before locking back in place. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
"Obviously looking myself over to see who has what in control," I stated with a right arm shrug and shut eye.
"Well, that's a smart idea. ...But we have a blood-thirsty murderer as our left half!" I stated. We worked together, looking left and right. As confirmed, these were my other selves. My dark self had the half left half of the body and not enough of the head for a helmet change, while me and my light self shared a majority of the torso and right half, me having the front and right leg while light me had right arm and back, thus his right wing came out. "I'm not enjoying the fact that he has his gun arm!"
"Will you shut up! You're unarmed in a hospital! Its a security precaution spell that keeps anything lethal from working!" Cortana shouted.
"Also, the nurse has a working gun at the General's request. ...he believes we contain an eldritch abomination in the ultimatrix."
"We actually do. I just prevent him from being unlocked."
"Speaking of which- you have the ultimatrix arm. FML."
"Can you slap my knee? Its the closest thing to a high five I've got," I requested. Light instead patted us on the head... close enough.
We heard a paper crumble as our head turned to a window. "Speaking of close and numbers~." Above some buildings, the Fat Albert Dome could be seen in the distance. The tournament location!
"You cant fly. In fact, we cant fly!"
"No, but we can glide!" I felt my foot stop toughing the ground as we hovered and broke though the window head first. "Is our weapon systems running?"
"Like I'd tell you!" "They're online. Loading the gassling guns."
I heard a few pings as bullets shot from my... butt... rendered bullets shot by our nurse nulled as we glided towards the stadium. A bat-like wing extended from my left arm and shoulder as we soared.
From far behind, Rouge relayed a message from Nurse Joy to someone else. "Ace Ventura, we have a flyer."
Jim Carrey's voice responded with some wind in the background, "That is a... uh... 10-4 on the 'I told you so' and 'I see 'im' report. I'll get Inspector Gadget's attention on the subject."
"Changing the channel."
Mayor Popeye's voice came over the radio. "Greetings listeners, we have some good news! ...and more bad."
"Are we low on spinach?"
"The good news, our scientist are making good progress with the cure for book gum though hidden officer Osmosis Jones reports that Twilight's gum has been tampered with. Though, at least she's finally moving... but she looks like a deranged lunatic. Also we finally have a visitor from the show?" There was a few crashes and Tara Strong's different voices rambling and screaming things intellectual and the opposite. "Um... Twilight Sparkle is here!" There were a few a few screams and equipment being tossed around.
"..............the hell?"
Popeye came back on some static filled microphone, "If you see Twilight, run for your lives! She has no control over her actions and has turned nearly everything and everyone here into apples. ...Heck, I have no idea if you can hear me!" A sound of a door slamming open a girl shrieking was heard as the sound of magic cut off the station.
"I'm sure he'll be fine...?"
"Yeah. He's survived every fatal wound ever by eating spinach, I'm sure he has some on him."
I literally busted thought the door, my left arm holding more guns that it should and my right arm dumping holy water on all of the guns as we kicked down the door. A large group of people looked at us, some guy unfortunate enough to be Obama raising an eyebrow. Luckily, there wasn't any blood to be seen.
"I'm here for Number One!"
"My fellow American, wait in line," Obama said, pointing to the back of the line.
I went cross-eyed as I sighed, "I will allow it." My left leg gained a bunch of unorderly spikes that were sharp enough to... I assume to kill, but I would roast mini marshmallows on each one.
"I'm two third American-Equestrian and one third death's tool," we tried to injure him, but he seemed to be untouchable.
"Before leaving my Equestria, I was a student of Starswirl." the transparent Obama held flaming fists, "Watch yourself."
"I can see why they didn't want you."
From around the corner, Edna Mode strode in. "We have some terrible news. Mayor Popeye is busy with a unicorn problem, but its not really anything at all-" She paused when she turned, looking at me. "You look like crap. ...Also I hate your cape."
"That's my wing, ma'am." I replied.
"It could be worse," she said, holding a radio. "We have a breach, over."
"I CANT FEEL MY LEGS!!!" the man on the radio shouted.
"Pull yourself together, Ace!" Edna scolded. She pocketed the radio smirking. "The darling is a mess."
"Oh...hoho! You have NO idea." I said, eye locked on her. Everyone began to laugh as my other eye wondered away from Edna. "...I hate you all so much."
"Light focus, my brain HURTS!!!" I screamed.
"Sorry, but I'm not getting involved!"
"Buckle up, I'm about to ask where Number One is at!"
Edna rolled her eyes, fixing her glasses as she neared us, "Follow me, I'll tell you. Oh my Luna, this guy..."
We attempted to kick down the next doors, but holographic glass allowed our foot to fall though and my neutral leg to drop us out of balance, falling to the floor.
"You don't have to kick down doors!"
"Well, your arm doesn't look occupied!"
"That's because you have ALL those guns!" We got up, opening the VIP area. There sat Chuck Norris, Moe Mew, and Number One.
And I had to pay for his medical bill! I was very lucky to even buy this seat! And another thing- All heads turned, except for Chuck. He turned the space-time continuum around his head to look at me. Number One looked disturbed before transitioning to a smug look as he placed his shades on his face, holding out a necklace.
"That explains it. He has the final piece to the ultimatrix."
"Are the material rare?"
"Normally, they're not. In this case, your spirit is draining into your DNA to the point you might as well be another Maud. That final piece is what will truly fix you. Programs can only do so much!"
"You want this?" Number One asked, pulling up his hood. "Get your beyblade out."
"There are no toys in hell." A chain shot out of one gun, grabbing Mr. Uno.
"It was worth a shot. Bring it!"
"We will!" I shouted as he was pulled closer, allowing us to kick him.
He recovered, electrifying our chain whip. The current destroyed some guns while we gave a two kick-punch combo. An energy shield defended him and destroyed the chain as he shot lethal gumballs from his gun. He flew over head as we attempted another combo.
"Can we, please, have that piece?"
Mr. Uno stopped, tossing the piece back to us, "Hit me with your best shot."
Like a magnet, it pulled itself near the ultimatrix, fixing it. Green energy covered my body as full sight and feeling returned. I was back to being fully neutral and ready for battle.
"Everything is unlocked for a full minute!"
"Favorite the duel disk," I said, running up to Number One. After messing with the ultimatrix I landed a Falcon Punch next to his head. A pink aura covered me as Mew held my arm in place.
"Bad idea, Conners," Mew said. "I'm NOT paying for HIS hospital room!"
"Translation: Chuck Norris is kicking our ass, do something!" Rouge exclaimed. I don't remember wearing my Iron Man helmet, but thank the gods I was. "CNRK in T-minus NOW!!!"
I fell to the floor, not remembering getting up. Just looking at the kick allowed the passing kick to send me through some walls. "Spell: Curaga. Activate duel disk!" I commanded. Magic green leaves surrounded me, giving a healing effect. My ultimatrix glowed, transforming into something resembling the picture, but blue and white.
"...We are going to fight Chuck Norris...with cards. There's a reason I locked it!" Cortana shouted.
"Spell: Fast Healing." I held an orb of yellow light, dispersing around me when I let go. "Ultimatrix, give me Wolverine." There was a slot for cards, my requested card given to me. It was a simple card with a picture of Wolverine in his X-Men suit, it has a red back with the MARVEL logo in the middle in white. I placed the card in a defense position in time for Chuck to send him to the recharge station.
"You can summon with that?!"
"Duh. How else did I bring out Wolverine? Next up!" I shouted, smirking as Number One emerged with his original shades. Worth it."Kirby Me, Saiyan Me, Thangarian Me, and the Juggernaut." Four cards slid in my hand as I placed them in attack positions on my duel disk, summoned clones appearing around me.
Yugi Moto ran in, asking, "Is someone playing a card game?" Before Kirby acquired his abilities and became Yami Kirby.
I looked around the hallway still covered in blood, but at least the major damage was undone... except now I have guns pointed at me. Ace Ventura held a hand out, "Don't move or we will shoot and it will hurt!" Kirby tossed a card at him, causing him to fall on a land mine. "I cant feel my butt!"
"Using land mine remains for another repair implosion. ...Magic, because science sucks."
"Lock on," I commanded just as Chuck punched the Yugi out of Kirby and destroying Juggernaut. "...He just destroyed the unmoveable Juggernaut."
"He didn't destroy him. He just blinked." The rest of my summons dispersed into nothing as my duel disk disintegrated. "I'm loading Kryptonian." The ultimatrix flashed like usual, making me glow green as clear blue hexagons transformed my armor. I grew a foot or two taller... around 6" or something. I thinned as the sunlight around me and absorbed in my suit's solar reserves gave me a sense of great strength.
"I'm going to embed the tutorial for this form in one second." I didn't have a scouter or visor, but I could feel her smile as I gained a sudden headache. "I bet... uh... screw it. I say Chuck Norris will win."
"Why?" I asked as me and Chuck stared each other down. My blue cape flowing in non-existent wind.
"Chuck Norris can run so fast that he can punch himself in the back of the head."
"But is he as fast as the Flash?"
"Has Flash played tag with himself before?"
I lunged at him, but he had a third fist in his beard that took me to the ground. I let out lasers from my eyes as he just stood there. I got back up, but he punched me from ten different spots, ending with a crescent kick that sent me through the ground and out of the sky to the ground next to the worm hole I helped make.
Number One joined us outside, slowly clapping. "Hello Agent. Tell me, why are you targeting me specifically?"
My flight path was blocked by Chuck's hat as his one strand of hair left on it kept me in place. "Superman can hold infinity."
"Chuck Norris can destroy space-time. Literally, this is this guy's fiftieth Equestria."
I looked past the hat, locking eyes with Mr. Uno, "I'm not a time agent. I don't know what your deal is, but I must stop it."
Chuck finally spoke as he let out a sigh, "Guys, can we try to keep the peace long enough to cause no more damage?"
"Seriously, I killed and resurrected people all day. ...And I have no idea why!" I shouted. "All I know is that I wanted to be in a beyblade tournament and you attacked me. Either I'm trying to get revenge or-"
"Time-base said we need to run... like, NOW!!!" Cortana informed. I returned to normal, my secondary color red as I sped off. ...Chuck Norris wasn't around to stop me for some reason.
Rouge's sudden giggling grew into laughter, "Chuck Norris just left this universe! *rewind sound and Chuck's voice is heard.* 'Screw this, I'm leaving this fan fic.' *click* I have no idea what he meant, but it was funny!"
Hello Mr. Conners I read.
"Um... hello Time-base?" I asked, looking around the laptop it sent me... with a sack of bits.
I made a great decision with the web camera. In fact, was it even a decision? I think its destiny.
"Yeah... so... um..." I tried to begin.
You're asking about why you're in a conflict with Number One and why I'm contacting you of all ponies. You were about to interrupt, stating that you're a person and to that I say that 'pony' is the term I will use no matter the circumstance. You were going to tell me to get to the point to where I assume you- yes I ramble- no this isn't one sided Cortana. Having you speak like in what used to be this prime timeline will waste what time we have. I will ignore the 'dingus' comment Ms. Rouge.
I will now have this recording that could've been your recapping of this information be played.
"*beep. click.* ...So what you're saying is that Number One is using this tournament to kill of people and absorb paradox energy to bring the past to the future." My recorded voice paused before resuming, "...That's dumb. How do you move time? Well simple, time can become- time can be relatively anything. It is a very big ball of wibbley wobb- That's a Doctor Who reference! Fine, I wont interrupt."
Wrong recording, but I'll keep playing.
"*beep. clack.* ...Time has no beginning or end so somepony can make the beginning the end and vice versa. ...Who came up with this? Doctor Whooves. Seriously? I will not underestimate him or science-magic when it comes. I thought I was immortal like everyone else! ...That sounds like an awesome-"
Skipping an hour of spoilers and trauma. Oh, this is the recording.
My recorded voice returned, "*boop. click.* ...Basically we should think of time as vines, tangled yard, wibbley wobbley, etc. Though, we focus on time magic-science that is making time appear to be made of Play Doh. My Celestia, if I didn't die in this year then today would've been a great day to die!"
That version of you failed. That is a time where Chuck Norris stayed and round house the universe to nothing, curing the Multiverse of our time plague before ending himself. Screwed up time residue was on him so he didn't leave, knowing he would've killed Faust. You may speak in real time.
"Time travel is convoluted." "Time travel is convoluted." "Time travel is stupid."
I'll wait an hour my time for your first official report. Watch Mr. Uno and make sure he is stopped one timeline or another.
I gave a salute, "I have no reason to trust you nor the opposite."
Not surprised.
"I will not fail you in this time!"
I'll leave that up to the *insert self-awareness noun*.
"Um... I'm looking for a... um... 'Sea Gal'?" was the first words that came to my mouth when entering the only bar near the motel I stayed at. "The Lucky Charms", a bar run by cereal mascots... or just Tony the Tiger and Lucky. There was piano music that gave a peaceful vibe to this place, until my request ended it. The colorful building fell silent and seemed to turn dark as fingers pointed to the bar.
Sitting on a stool was a petite girl wearing a WWII Aviator Pilot helmet with black hair sticking out. She wore a while cloak with a grey end on the bottom that split in three pieces, the middle one being smaller than the identical pieces. It was held together by elastic at the top of the cut that ended just before her shoulders. Under that, she wore a white shirt with cargo jeans and boots.
"That's her?" I asked.
"No sh*t Sherlock," Shrek shouted from a table.
I want you to track down Sally Shore. Go to the Lucky Charms down the road and ask for Sea Gal.
"Sally Shore? That's an interesting name," I said.
Her parents named her Sally to reference a tongue twister. Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore. We both know that you're not stealthy enough for this coming mission (especially with your ultimatrix) so I want to send you off on a quest that is so off topic that its on topic. The topic is Number One, the quest involves...
"Involves What? ...What're you doing?"
Creating suspense. The quest involves...
"Hello, Ms. Sea Gal?" I asked as I neared her. I noticed her hood had the impression of a seagull on it, so I saw the hood's beak instead of the girl's eyes.
"Don't call me miss, ma'am, or anything like that unless you want to be bird bait." She replied, a gold fish cracker materializing in her fingers. A bird swooped in from the window, grabbing it before flying off. "What d'ya want?"
"Well, I want to feed birds," I replied. "The reason is classified besides the fact I have no idea why I need to do so."
She tossed the glass from her possession to Tony, leaving a Mine Craft emerald on the bar, "I was told you would come some day."
"Sorry, what?"
The past hour after that was spent with me in my civilian light armor being chased by seagulls on an out of place beach and Sea Gal somehow flying around and raining bread and goldfish crackers like she was 'Seagull Jesus' or something! ...Basically this was an exercise to make me not fear bird poo or something.
"Stop running!" Sea Gal shouted.
"No!" I screamed, the sand slowing me down as I ran. Behind me, the many white and gray birds pursued me as I saw the white liquid fall.
"Its not going to kill you!"
"No!"
"You can just wash it off!"
"Get rid of the crackers, you fool!" Rouge shouted. I tossed the crackers and bread slices behind me as they followed it, fighting for the food.
"We're running from poop! We've faced dragons and yet we're running from bird poop!" Cortana exclaimed, furious. "We've even traveled sewers yet pony crap isn't worth being scared of!"
"They keep coming after me," I shouted, "What do I do?!"
"How about you stop acting stupid and feed some birds?"
<He will trip on a rock.>
Suddenly my vision was dark and I felt a dent in my boot slowly repairing itself while I question the soft, gritty texture on my face. Realizing the bubble protecting my eyes, my head shot straight up as my body knocked something behind me. As I coughed out sand, I looked over to see Sea Gal on the ground, making sand angels.
"That almost hurt," she said, looking up at the sky. I sat there, ignoring the seagulls above us as they slowly flew off one by one, their squeaks and squawks disappearing. The sky was nearly clear, except from clouds made by pegasi to resemble people and items foreign from Equus. Nothing was said as I blankly stared at the... lake, I guess. It looked like the ocean, but I can question everything later.
The rock I tripped over decided to reveal the grey hermit crab in a sand covered shell, waddling away after being disturbed. The slightly salty air flew past us, doing little to nothing to my short hair.
"Why do you wear armor?" the almost southern voice of Sea Gal sounded.
What kind of question is that? Why would she ask that? "Um... I've always wore armor."
"Always? What is your costume to you?"
Q and A with seagull girl. I haven't met her for long, but that doesn't mean I feel like lying. "Like when I was Displaced? Simple. I've seen crossovers, whether or not it was on YouTube, official crossovers, or fan crossovers... I was interested in the possibilities."
"The possibilities?"
"Yeah. What if there was a bridge. Old series met new series, remakes meet original, movie meets mini series, etc." I said, looking at the clouds, watching as a Mario coin and Bubby from 'The Misadventures of Flap Jack' merged, somehow forming a Metroid from its namesake. "It began with an online game: Cartoon Network's Fusion Fall then recently with Screw Attack's 'Death Battle'. Just knowing the endless combinations and possible outcomes make me more excited than Wonder Woman wielding Thor's hammer."
"Nerd."
I turned my head to her, "What was that?"
She tossed some bread on the ground, "BIRD!"
Just as the seagulls swarmed around me, I got a message from Time-base, read by Cortana. "...I don't see the point of this, but your "mission" is complete."
Sea Gal laughed as we parted ways, both saying that we would meet again.
Great job.
"And what was the point of the mission?" I asked, sitting in front of my laptop.
Your mission was to distract Sea Gal. Number One would've hired her abilities with birds to steal a generator, but without her; he bought the generator and doesn't have enough money to bail a friend out of jail.
"How would she be able to steal what he needed? I mean, aren't generators big?"
Feeding birds is her hobby, manipulating birds for cash is her job. She has standards, but she owed Mr. Uno for saving her life years ago. In fact, not stopping Number One will get him caught and give his past self a bad name, causing current day Number One to go rogue and steal a time machine. That paradox will give the Number One we're stopping an alternate motive, but the plan is similar.
"My brain... It hurts..."
That's why I was built. Not every organic can process all of what I see constantly. "Operation Time Pretzel" has changed slightly and the motive is even more hidden, but its not revenge... I think.
What did he just say?! "Woah! You think?!"
I never thought you were cruel against machines, but later in this conversation your intention was asking why I'm guessing when I should know these events. I nodded. Tell me or don't tell me, because you did in an alternate timeline: Was I made to read minds or tell time?
"Not everything is known-"
It is impossible to know everything. I don't know my own future unless I let myself know. Will I be successfully hacked? When or how will I be destroyed? Will I be replaced? Is my knowledge absolute or is it edited?
"OK... I never thought of that."
I can predict scenarios because I saw them in another "life" or another "time". I study every version of everything, because I have all the time in the world and I'm holding cards that are not mine to hold. Now, back on track. Here's your next mission.
Years ago before Nightmare Moon, in a forest near Mount Canter, something that slowly turned normal happened as scheduled and predicted to happen... every Friday night.
"Subject: Luna is approximately- Changed course. Subject: Luna is approximately- Changed course. Subject: Celestia is closing in on your 0600 hours." Cortana droned, as I dodged Luna only to be tackled by Celestia. "You are down. Enemies are nearby."
I rolled my eyes as I let my chin fall on my omnitrix, not looking at my transformation. My armor changed into a navy blue suit with a tie and my hair turned into light blue flames that kept its shape yet ate at my flesh, my skull bobbing to the beat of a silent song. My body grew as my rib cage wrapped itself over the suit and my lower jaw vanished as my skull became more rounded. My body was engulfed in blue flame, causing Celestia to hop off and stare at the singed fur on her.
"You took the form of Lewis. You are now fabulous and dead. Your fire attacks are weak against Celestia, but strong against Luna. Logical choice since the former is weaker in stamina than the latter."
The transformation flowed freely as it finished, my upper half thick compared to my then legs. I hovered in the air as my head's connection to my body broke off and the omnitrix symbol appearing on the left side of my chest, its green light pulsing like a heart. I rolled the flames that acted as my eyes as I set my hands on fire, "Blah. Blah. Blah. Just say I'm a ghost with fire powers or something! I don't need a history lesson."
"You're a pyrokinetic, homo sapient made of ectoplasm. This form is mock-death since there is no known afterlife in sight and your vitals will return when you return to your normal form. Subject: Celestia is charging energy. Subject: Luna-" I looked down to the horn in my torso, a wide eyed Luna trying to pull away. I promptly gave her a flaming slap, sending her stumbling back away from me as I fired rounds of flame, countered by my target Celestia.
"Cant I have a conversation with my dumb A.I. long enough to not be jumped?! I mean, you cant touch me and I'm not attacking-" my rant was cut short by Luna feeding raw magic to Celestia, causing her to turn it into solar energy. For some reason, it burned and nearly blinded me as Luna tried again, this time I felt like I was impaled and I also felt several kicks to me.
Back in my normal form, watching the passing trees below me as I recovered from Luna tossing me... but I probably wont recover the landing as I began to fall. I think I see a pattern. When they're in armor they're trying to defeat me, but out of armor and weaponless they're either sparring or studying me. ...I mean, sure. I would play somebody I hated if they didn't have world-ending gear in play.
I began wiggling my legs as I slowly pulled myself out of the ground, when my head came out I heard a small gasp. Looking up, a saw a tiny purple filly in a sack cloak, her blue eyes wide. In her hoof, she held another cloak, much smaller and with more color covering a smarty pants... without pants? Still too early in time... "I'm going to request materials for a bigger cloak..." she quietly said.
I got up, looking around to see what looked like a destroyed little girl's tea part... with buckets of fruit with faces carved on said fruit.
"Sorry, Mr. Monster, my mommy and daddy are not home yet," she said, looking me up and down. My attention shifted to the late-night tea party that I crashed to the filly to the only untouched house remaining in a burning village... burning behind the filly. "Daddy said he didn't want me leaving." She looked around before signaling me closer and whispering, "I think he wanted to go to that bon fire. Either that or Mommy was causing trouble, again."
I don't remember falling asleep, but I do remember waking up on the ground with a small quilt over my face. I suddenly felt tapping on my foot as a voice followed it. "Mr. Monster? Hello~? ...aaand another one taken by pla... payg. I hate payg. He makes everyone too tuckered for fun..." I heard a door slam then creak open as something else lied on me. "Mr. Monster was weird and he destroyed the tea party. I don't know if he will be missed. Mr. Apple, does Daddy say 'rest in peace' or 'reek of pee'? ... And may he rest in pee."
By this point I had sat up, watching what appeared to be a funeral for my foot, everyone not the filly and her doll were apples in metal or wooden buckets. "Well, I woke up to worse."
"Processing... Processing... Scenario Nonexistent." Cortana told me as the filly gasped, looking up at my head.
"That's your head?! I knew it was an ugly butt..." She decided to scribble something on a scroll, using her magic. Now that I can see her better, I saw a horn barely poke out of her wavy mane. She paused, taking a step back, "I'm sorry! Don't be mad, Daddy will flog me if I'm bad!"
"...You are one weird filly. Besides calling my face a butt and telling me to-" she seemed to back pedal very slowly, hoping I wouldn't noticed. "I'm not mad!"
"Oh." She then gave a huge smile, "I'm Designer Cloak, but my parents call me Violet- But I'm not mean! Other villagers call me Odd One! I think it funny, though it not my name." She held up her doll, straw poking out of it. "This is Smarty Plot!" With her magic, she made it wave to me before "flying" away behind her. "What's your name? What are you? Why did you fall from the sky? Why do you have two voices?"
"A.I. returning to private mode."
"There it is again! Are you a Vinny-quist?" she asked while pointing a hoof at me.
I let out a chuck before answering, "No. I have a shy little person in my suit."
"Like a breezie? Can I see her?" she then paused. "What's a suit?"
"It an article of clothing, though in this-"
"Clothing? You mean like my cloak?" Designer asked, twirling it on her hoof before putting it back on. It once again covered her cutie mark that resembled three patches. "I made a wish last night for a customer! I knew you'd come!"
She ran into her stone house... surrounded by the rubble and ash of the other buildings. She came back out with a sack, laying it between us as cloak designs made with paint on scrolls with tiny versions spread out.
"...um... OK. The suit I'm wearing is actually another name for my armor-"
"You're a knight?! Oh no... I don't think I can help you..."
"Sort of. I'm actually an adventurer that was tossed in the air," I said as she gathered the material she needed.
"Hey! Possibly you fell here to help with my cottoning business!"
"Cottoning?" I asked.
"Yup! Its a great job! You draw cloaks, make cloaks, and ponies give you coins!" she paused and frowned. "I wanted to be paid in apple tarts, but Daddy said no. We need coin so something called a raider doesn't destroy our home, but looks like the bon fire beat it to it. ...I wonder what Mommy is doing."
"Scan complete. Two life signs. User Oscar Conners and Designer Cloak: Age 7 female unicorn."
I wasn't listening. Instead, I corrected her fashion vocabulary and spoke of what fashion-based thing I knew from my world... then she disappeared. She returned an hour later with Smarty Pants wearing two-tone green trousers. She enjoyed the doll's new name, chanting it for a while.
Current Day
I looked at the history book Time-base sent me, staring at the mare in a slim white-blue dress adorned with green gems with a matching white-blue hat with pink gems along the bottom by a "Designer Coat" dubbed 'the Standing Star'.
While nopony knows where the idea of the dress came from, but it was mentioned that it would scare dragons on a foggy day. Even though it was Designer Coat's fifth dress she's ever made, it actually stems from the first dress design ever made. While her past is unknown, we can say this gives us a glimpse of that mystery. From cloak designer to designer of the first dress and winter coat, this mare is a true pioneer of the fashion business.
I looked at my laptop, watching as green text displayed itself.
She wasn't known for her passion per say. It was your armor's colors and glowing lights that inspired the dress with shining gems that scared off the dragons that pursued ponies to eat. She was known as a defender, kick starting fashion as the ponies know it. When she died, those close to her knew she wanted to be known for her fashion. She never protected ponies, her work did and that's what mattered to her. Over the years the stories and history books split her into two ponies: The fashion pioneer and mareless cloak. ...The latter transformed into the old pony searching for her rusty horse shoe.
"So I accidentally created the fashion business and an urban legend?"
No. You gave it a vocabulary and inspired a fashion pony who created an urban legend.
"Yeah, where is this going?"
Number One dropped out of the beyblade tournament. He's going to see a friend who might need a model for a similar dress.
I suddenly heard laughter from Rouge as my ultimatrix began buzzing, "You've got to be kidding me."
From backstage, the beat from the speakers began to create a migraine that hurt like surviving a falling icecream truck underwater and surviving... or that could be a stretch.
"Remember Oscar, not all dogs can talk," informed a normal person colored Cortana as she held my leash. Oh yeah. Turns out I was close to perfecting a project I began before I was turned to stone and Time-base was so kind to finish it for plan B.
I finally get to have my own custom Copybot! Copybots originate from 'MegaMan Battle Network 6' where its a blank robot that can take the form of the humanoid program, Navi, or any humanoid A.I. that's controlling it so it could walk among people. With Cortana in control as my "trainer" our plan B can continue.
Plan A was to change my gender, have me wear a dress, and obviously I would never do any of those... like another me from a parallel time a Number One destroyed. On second thought, I bet that was Time-base's attempt at either bad humor or a prank. If a dead me jumped off a cliff with other dead mes, would I follow? Anyway, if I agreed with that plan: I would need a dog.
I've never heard of a pet fashion show, but I digress. At least I finally get to use dog DNA and have a Copybot. A very chibi anime girl with a clipboard came up, a huge smile on her face as she spoke in a high voice, "Alright, Ms. Cortney Conners?" being a dog, I didn't like the voice of the girl towering over me, "Ah! There you are!" Seriously, I would go Attack on Titan with this annoying lady!
"Oscar, you're growling," Rouge informed me. "Why did you pick... um... Pekingese? Who names these?!"
I whispered in my shrill voice, hoping nobody would hear, "Its so fluffy! Chicks dig fluffy dogs! I'm so fluffy! And cute! And fluffy!"
"...And an annoying brown mop." I suddenly began barking at that, having Cortana flick my ear.
"I'm ready!" She replied to the coordinator. "Hush, Kibbles!" I quickly shut up and I looked up. "Cortney" took a knee, fixing my bow tie on my matching suit. We weren't wearing 'the Standing Star 3AR', but it was a forest green tux with my "owner" wearing a flowing dress with similar color with brown in there to match my fur. To put it bluntly: She's wearing stylish forest camouflage.
"Now, I'm aware you didn't get as much training done as everyone else, but we're hoping... Kibbles can handle it." The coordinator said, pointing a pen at me.
"He'll be fine. Though I wish our Chihuahua had a personality swap with him," she said, chuckling.
"Yeah... I was surprised that rat ever got any spotlight, no offence." Um... yeah that's an offence! That rat was me, too! She stepped back when I began growling. "Well, you're up next after Ms. Rarity and Opalescence."
My ears perked up as Cortana asked, "Rarity is here?!"
"Oh, yes! That's how we got some outfits to match," she said, pointing to the white unicorn and her fat cat wearing dresses so nice they were indescribable! [Pretend it was Gala dresses] She was struggling to get Opal out of this one girl's yarn-like hair, the cat winning.
The music cut off as unscheduled music blared on the speakers, giving me a feeling...
"You must catch that cat!" Rouge shouted in my hidden ear piece all my forms had. With my paws, I unhooked myself and began running so fast I ran on the walls and landed in the girl's hair, yapping as I scared Opal off her perch and started the chase. I hopped off, rolling on my back to my four tiny legs as I dash towards Opal. I rounded in front of her, catching her in my front paws as I lobbed her towards Rarity, who caught her in her magic. I ran back to leash, expecting to reattach myself to my leash.
Something caught me, I looked back to see the Mario Brothers as Animal Control. I backed between their legs as I heard gasps and found myself back in Cortana's arms as she set me free before flicking my nose.
Rarity looked at us, "Um... Thank you?"
Luigi closed in on us before Cortana convinced them to leave. The coordinator tossed her hands up, "Why is animal control here!"
Rarity rolled her eyes, "Pinkie tried bringing her alligator. Can somepony turn off that noise?!"
"No can do, I'm letting this finish," Rouge sounding like J.A.R.V.I.S. informed her from the speaker.
Just as the music ended, we returned to backstage and rushed to the nearest restroom. I was forced back to my normal form, my armor replaced with a transformed version of my tux with everything else I needed with it... like pants.
I locked the door as Cortana returned to her usual blue look as her head gear returned, "That was disappointing..."
"What was the point of the fashion show?"
"To catch Number One who was visiting a friend... who needed models... the lead designer!"
"If you're talking about the red Equestria Girl with the black poodle then we passed her on the way over here." Cortana returned to her "Cortney Conners" disguise as I slammed my omnitrix ring down.
FYI the ultimatrix cant fit in tight places so I had to down grade.
As I shrunk, brown fur grew all over me and my ears crawled to the top of my head. I couldn't stand on two paws so I fell on all four paws as my suit returned to its dog form and my green gloves turning into tiny boots. My voice collar materialized tightly from the omnitrix head protecting my neck and my leash shot out like a whip.
As our disguises were set, we exited the restroom, getting weird looks from everybody. "What? He's toilet trained," Cortana said as we dramatically walked away, my head high as everyone shrugged.
We found ourselves in the hallway, doors to dressing rooms at our sides. I looked up at Cortana, "I know dogs don't talk, but- point!"
"Wait... what's with the battle armor?! That thing is rigged with too many bullets for a fashion show-" I pulled on my disappearing leash in mid-transformation as a nuke blew a hole the wall big enough for a lady in bulky black armor to step out. The gears on it shrunk the suit to better fit her as her loaded arm canons were pointed at me. Luckily, I was in my Wreck It Fourarms form so I was nearly bullet resistant.
"Bad news: you have to transform manually now. ...How is there an omnitrix update?!"
As I blocked bullets and Cortana took cover, I scrolled through my forms, selecting Flash Track... my new Flash and Fast Track mix form. ...I'm not talking about Flash Sentry since I only have a few pony DNA and Flash Sentry is as fast as a flying brick when running. I need speed! Quick description: I'm a red and yellow Fast Track with Flash's symbol on my chest and the speeds added together. Oh, the bullets slowed down. ...No they didn't!
I moved so fast from battle jitters that I had time to study my enemy. Hot Topic is a black and red Equestria Girl with black hair with a red streak on the side so smooth and silky that I saw my current face. I checked her gauss cannon, enchanted bullets began to fire. Her right arm armor had red blades that were made that were made to flip out like a pocket knife- Are those runes on her glove?!
Now, I would be in love, but her dresser has an old message from Number One- who has a gun to my head -stating that I'm helping Time-base bring the end-times. What.
I ducked as Mr. Uno fired a gun with one of those electric orb things on it, electricity nearly hitting me. I began to run fast enough to slow things down, but it was actual effort to sustain speeding myself in place. ...OK, Number One has no weak spots. Moving on!
I rushed over to Hot Topic, finding her armor's back panel to be easily removable and I loosened her armor's hold on her. She wore a pink robe (thank the gods it wasn't black or red!) underneath, I saw something glowing inside. Being not that kind of guy, I quickly patted her down for both our sakes and found her body was unusually hard... or she was malnourished.
I slid the robe off then back on, sighing as I put everything back in place.
Question: How many gems can you have on a dress? No limit? Just like the dress of pearls that was stolen on Earth, Hot Topic wore a dress of enchanted thread and gems that glowed with power. Without her armor, that crystal dress could cause anybody problems fighting her! In fact, that's how she's enchanting her bullets.
I didn't realize how deep in thought I was while putting the back panel onto its spot on Hot Topic, that as soon as I turned on my heel to move the fight along, a big, growing metal runed fist slammed into me like a train. I was on the ground, my world turning back as I saw Hot Topic jumping out of her armor, the back panel was on the gun arm, Number One looking down on me, and hearing Cortana's fading scream, "-ook out, Oscar! ...Never mind."
I was sitting in Sick Bay, allowing the soldiers to access my internet hotspot to keep moral as I rererewatched shows I enjoyed on Netflix. I got tired of watching 'Adventure Time' and decided to check my inventory. "Cortana, how's maintenance?"
"Everything is ordered and I used the shrapnel and bullet metals to repair the healing matrix, luckily your armor isn't too damaged otherwise I might have to deal with blood. I currently have no report on systems."
"Good girl. Rouge? Weapons and system report?"
"Ready to go to Tartarus and back and upgrades are all done, but the system is lagging."
{I can compensate for the lag, but it'll take a minute.} A deep monotone voice informed.
"Good job, Rouge. Robocop, I'm counting on you."
"Anything I can do, sir?" A British voice asked.
"J.A.R.V.I.S., what's our magic status?"
"The tank is an eighth empty and recharging and the runes are holding up."
I was about to speak when one of my soldiers ran up, a brown and red pegasus rookie named 'Saddle Bags' ...poor guy. "Sir, we're surrounded!" The sounds of gaming and competitive ping pong watching died as eyes were on him. "The Zebras have Griffonstone from the looks of things. We are surrounded on ground and air!"
I rolled my eyes, placing my helmet on my head, "You think I didn't know that? Its the title of the chapter! So, besides Griffonstone, what's the bad news?"
His orange eyes looked a bit nervous, "...um...sir?"
"The good new is that we're surrounded from everywhere and the bad news is we lost the Griffon capitol. We can worry about Queen Gilda later, but I want to know: what the bad news?" I asked, almost getting in his face as he sat.
"W-we-we're surrounded!"
I sat back in my seat, "That's a relief."
Behind me, a tall doctor with curly black hair and a grayish-purple scarf shouted in his British voice, "'That's a reflief?!' Sir, with all due respect we are surrounded."
I looked over, studying him, "Who are you supposed to be?"
"BBC's version of Sherlock Holmes."
"Great show, though," I got up, eyeing everyone. "You didn't acquire his brains. This is an opportunity! J.A.R.V.I.S. and Robocop will fill you in on the details. Go!"
"I cant believe I was a zebra killed by a pony in a wheel chair!"
{You got it easy. My death was far worse.}
"Oh? How?"
I pointed my finger at everyone, "I'll tell you how!" I let raw magic flare as I stood on the back of my chair, "They're about to be curb stomped by the God Damn Fandom Man!" I jumped to the ground, ending my display. "Then I'll turn into one of my giant forms and stomp what's left... Weeeeell, unless they surrender."
Saddle Bags looked up at me, "But one of the zebras has your old ultimatrix!"
I held up my current one on my fist, "Yeah, my old ultimatrix. I can easily override or set it to self destruct." I told him to get a good look at it, because this was the perfect version of the ultimatrix. After a moment, I smirked and walked out of the room, saying, "If you hear a noise, its daddy being stern."
Year 3 A.R. (Before the Season Pause)
"Update acquired. Downloading. ...Error. Update is not of this machine. Error. Update is corrupt." Vocals impaired. Warning: Approaching Time Lock. System will hibernate and restart within time frame.Just as planned.
The shaking and audible laser fire ceased. Did he do it? Will we live? What's going on?! From above, the door slammed shut and for a brief moment war could be heard before a series of beating assaulted the door. As soon as the beating ended, we heard the screeching of metal on metal, "...It has begun." Lieutenant Fandom Man said, breathing hard. "Why is there feedback now?!"
*CLAMB!!!*
Civilians and soldiers froze and watched as their supposed savior slunked in, his usual armor replaced with what looked like badly repaired armor. He was bleeding out from nearly everywhere, his suit walking for him as he limped back into his seat in the middle of the room.
Saddle Bags, being a brave messenger, decided to speak, "What happened, sir?"
"I'm dead. I died at the start of war and now those time machines are reaping my work. ...The war is lost!" His eyes seemed empty as the sound of torture filled the room and everything seemed to fade out as a horror faded in. "...Or I could be wrong." He stood up, screaming, "Where's your phone?!"
In a bunker in Canterlot.
"Hold on. You want me to go back in time to stop you from stopping me, whose going back in time to stop you from stopping me?" A young voice said.
"That's it. By the way: Are you wearing the G:KND Numbuh 1 duds?" the Great Fandom Man asked. And I guess he's onto something...
"Yeah, why?" There was a buzzing in my pocket so I took out my iPhone.
"There's your script and known objectives. Some are locked so that only you can see what needs to happen when it does." He paused. "Also its from my point of view at the time, now hurry! Both pony and nonponykind rests on your shoulders. ...There will be pressure."
"But, we don't have a time machine!" I countered. Everyone in the room changed their focus from the transparent wasteland below us, even the scared, sick, and confused looked up to where I was. Quieter I asked, "How am I supposed to travel through time?!"
I felt a tap on my shoulder just as he said, "I'll be right over," and hung up. Fandom Man stood in front of me, only visible by the chest up. "Hurry, my ride wont stay for long."
Everyone outside stood slack jawed at the phantom delorean parked awkwardly on the sidewalk.
"Now remember," he told me, "as soon as you hit 88 miles per hour-"
"I'm going to see some serious sh*t."
"No. You'll be violating the speed limit. If you see any time cops slow down, but don't stop until you make it." He grabbed my shoulders looking into my eyes, "There are versions of you that will fail. Good luck."
I gave a salute as he handed me the keys. As soon as I hopped in, both me and the car solidified completely and I backed out and left.
"This is why I need you. You act as my eyes rather than a brain. Wipe time lock information from Time-base Drive. Success 1-2-3-6... 5... 4... Wipe Complete. Barrier: Active." There was a cracking sound followed by laughter as only the smooth voice said, "Show time! Heh HA ha HA!"
I paused, my jaw dropped as the recording ended with the delorean fading into nonexistence, leaving Number One no way back to his time. "...Well, I need mouthwash in the future..."
Number One slammed his fist on the wooden table, officially making the scene feel like a cop interrogation since we're in a dark room with a one-way mirror and a dangling light. "That's all you got from that?! Do you realize that time is on the line?"
"Um... yeah. Though, I don't know who to trust now."
"Well, currently Time-base is corrupt and I'm from a lost future with a mission to restore it, ignoring the logic of why I'm still alive."
The door across from me swung open as a DeadPool ragdolled into the room, his top half seemingly floppy as he ran before straightening, "Sir!"
"...Or why I have an army prepared for a rebellion." Number One turned to the merc with a frown, "What is it now? I already promised Taco Tuesday everyday..."
He gave a goofy salute, "This fan fic is crap so we need some action and ponies! Our secret base is overrun by Sombra's Russian Robots with Sombreros and we need a badass. I'm DeadPool so I'm useless," He swung a finger to my face, my nose was almost booped, "We need him!"
"Well, I'm just a kid! All I have is rocket boots and gumballs!" Number One stated before bawling his eyes out as he fell to his knees. I got up on the table, blaring music.
I woke up on the ground, my head wet and music blaring. Number One held his ears as he shouted, "Can you please turn that music off?!"
The volume lowered to tolerable levels as Rouge shouted, "I still don't believe you, kid!"
Mr. Uno raised an eyebrow as he played a recording with Rouge's voice, Oscar and Cortana in battle with sirens blaring and gunshots being heard, < ...I don't want world piece, I don't want laughter in slaughter... um... and I want Time-base to know I recommend his systems with 5 stars and request his aid to create advanced software one day- >
"Stop! Stop it! Stop!" Rouge screamed as Number One ended the recording.
"...I'm going to...uh...be over in inventory. Yeah... lots to do..."
The music lowered as I let an audio file play. Cortana will probably ask why I have a button on my suit that plays that, but seeing Rouge turn purple was entertaining. "You're not helping!"
"Oh good, you're awake," Number One deadpanned as I got up, looking around the wrecked apartment. "I'm not going to ask how you fell asleep so fast."
"I'm not going to question it, though it was probably my all nighters as a dog." I said, activating a drying spell on my head. I cant clean myself... just dry myself so ignore the smell.
Mr. Uno rubbed the bridge of his nose, sighing, "I cant believe we look up to you..."
"Oscar, why are you storing Twinkies in your inventory?"
"Those are the good Twinkies, preserved to survive the next snack death unlike Earth Twinkies."
Number One shook his head, "He actually prevented a war with those cakes and earned an alliance with the Smooze. Go figure." I stared at him, cutting my gaze with my fist being pulled back by my elbow, a long 'yes' slipping out. "Now I got a mission for you."
(A week later)
I returned from my mission, Number One greeting me. "Alright, what did they say?"
"What did who say?" I asked.
"The diplomats on the Death Star, did they agree with the plan?" *BZZZZZT* Suddenly his phone buzzed, giving himself a moment to check the news and future log. "Did you attempt destruction of the Death Star?"
I took a step back, "No..."
"Well, why is there a Twinkie stuck in the exhaust port?!" As soon as he turned to face me, Rouge thought it was funny to turn me into Greymatter. Remember? My grey, tiny bodied, genius form? Yeah, now I'm physically tiny! "Hell-" *BZZZZZT* "...Apparently, I'm supposed to get your story and learn that- Screw it. Get on with it!"
"Seriously?!" I asked in excitement.
(A few days ago)
From the Everfree, I decided to check my list of side quests and the steps for my main mission.
"You need to check on Twilight as either an emotion or a white blood cell," Cortana read as I transformed into my pegasus form. My body was grey and I had red mane, tail, and eyes plus my ultimatrix disguised itself as a fireball cutiemark. My mane and tail had a similar shape to Spitfire's mane and tail to match my flame-look theme. "Also I think you should give your ponies better names than "Oxcar", it sounds dumb."
Walking into town, I rolled my eyes. As I pasted Fluttershy, I waved a friendly hoof to get a ball of yellow and pink in return that I shrugged off. Once I got to the more populated area, I was tossed into a building before something landed beside me. "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie!"
"WHY DID YOU TOSS ME?!" I demanded in a voice that resembled Light Me.
"Well... I had a fluttering left eye and an unscratchable itchy back..."
"Pinkie sense is weird..." I then paused to smack myself in the face.
"HA! I knew it! Fluttering right eye is new pony friend and left eye is dis... dusp... Those cool yet weird ponies!" She paused, gasping, "Welcome to Ponyville!"
("Let me guess, she threw you a party." Number One cut in real time*.)
("It was awesome and I had days to plan everything before the party.")
("Carry on.")
A little bit later I attempted to go to Golden Oaks, but was stopped by a pony. "What're you doing to us?!" he demanded.
"What?" I asked with a head tilt.
Another pony from behind pointed out, "Your cutiemark is shining a weird light in our eyes and its creeping me- us out!" I turned back to see the ultimatrix create a light show of pony and griffon DNA scans, inwardly groaning.
I rolled my eyes and frowned, "Well, excuse me for being me! You don't see me judging your buttiemarks! Seriously? A flower?" I asked the guy, "What're you? A gardener?"
"Yes," he firmly replied.
"Did you chose that pansy- not calling you a name -buttiemark? I think a rose would better suit you vanilla and pink color scheme."
"...I guess you're right about that...?"
"Well, from where I come from our butiemarks are-"
"They're called cutiemarks," he replied off hoofly.
"-are not what you would call normal or not yet normal. Besides, I have a brother that has it worse." I inwardly snickered at the dumb idea. "He has a green cloud trail follow him and ponies would make fart jokes at his expense! Heck, I thought I was upwind until now-"
A little filly I recognized to be Sweetie Belle pointed out, "Hey, it stopped!"
"Of course it did, my butt- Hold on, I cant really make a good sentence without it being weird..." I shook my head, tapping my chin and Cortana and Rouge simultaneously groaned in frustration, "My mark likes to meet new ponies." I suddenly got these weird looks before they all shrugged and walked away.
("And no," I said in real time, "I cant turn it off.")
("He lost the manual." Cortana replied flatly.)
When I entered the library, I got a scan off Spike. He got defensive leaving me with the "mark loves ponies" explanation from outside.
"Say, do you know where Ms. Sparkle is at?" I asked, summoning a clipboard from my inventory. "Also my buttiemark is a pocket dimension. Anyway, where is she?"
Spike narrowed his eyes, "Why?"
"Well, I was told that I had to cure or check Ms. Sparkle's status and deliver a message." The last part was both true and cruel.
"I didn't get a letter from the princess."
"Well, I got a letter loud in clear in the form of a hostage situation. I'm not a necromancer or a doctor, but have expertise in things I could name off." I lied, lifting a paper or two to get the message. "In her visit to my city she signed up for many things only to not involve herself when the time came. She missed about five days of twenty events and if I don't get the reason why she'll be tardy-"
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Spike shouted.
"-why she'll be tardy, it would be put on her permanent record."
Suddenly I heard a "Dip the butter into the rescue! Squack! Take a minute to P-A-R-T Y? Cuz I gotta!" as a twitching purple unicorn slid down the stairs like a penguin, ignoring the damage to her chin. Once she stopped, she broke the new awkward silence with, "Cowabunga!"
I clicked a pen, writing and saying, "Mentally insecure." I flipped the page, checking things off, "Well, I think I have an idea of what's wrong." I summoned a cushioned chair and switched clipboards as Spike glared at me. Rolling my eyes I cast a cure spell on her.
"What did you do?!"
"Well, I used a cure spell. What? Pegasi don't have magic here?" I asked with a head tilt as my yellow light washed over Twilight, scanning her DNA.
("Can you skip it to the part that matters?" Mr. Uno asked.)
("But, I liked the bipolar Daring Doo and Monkey therapy session!")
The next day I left the guest bedroom and got myself ready as I turned into my pegasus form. Spike led me to Twilights room where the unicorn began reciting poetry while moving her furniture around and juggling plushies she had with her hind hooves. I'm not having book gum...
Suddenly, Twilight's horn surged as invitations for my party from Pinkie materialized. Below was a schedule and opening for somepony to watch Twilight when she went outside... apparently she's more tame indoors when its quiet. I popped my neck as I looked over to Spike, "She might not need that foalsitter when I'm done- hopefully."
"...Sure... I still don't like you being near her," the baby dragon replied.
"I'm going to try a couple of things," I cleared my throat and raised my hooves. "I call upon the power of the spirit Rouge!"
"hmm?"
"I summon the power of Pesky Dust!" I called out, rolling my eyes back as I was covered in green light. My body shrunk as I became a tiny blue bipedal alien with three fingered gloved hands and bare toes, my head and eyes pretty big. As I hovered in the air, my wings folded over into a white tunic and my hair became spikey and pointed straight up. I let out a shrill purr as I opened my eyes, my ultimatrix on my chest.
"Hold on! You're Fandom the-" I put him to sleep with magical dust before doing the same with Twilight, who began spouting history book facts about me... ending with a dumb fact that I eat trees and ponies. I still don't know where that came from.
I locked the door and pulled the blinds shutter than shut as I entered Twilight's mind...
Me and Number One sat at a coffee table, waiting for our scheduled meeting with General Elmo.
I began to fill in some more details as we sat, sipping tea, "I placed Spike in his basket downstairs- Twilight at one point hunted him with a tennis racket."
"Well, what happened next?"
(A few days ago)
I learned that since we have a Displaced with "Inside Out" emotions I could enter bother her dreams and mind, but that last part would be different. Unlike mind reading spells I'm actually traveling INSIDE the world of Twilight's mind. Since the book gum was shoving memory of the book in her head to memorize, I would begin there.
As soon as I entered her mind, I found that it also seemed to have Psychonaut physics too.
("Meaning?" Number One asked in real time.)
When I entered her head, her mind had a cube shaped world to prevent me from going further. I had to answer question only she knew... and somehow my guessing was satisfactory for her. Then I went on a mission in a slightly messy giant Golden Oaks to find ten mind keys to get past barriers and had to complete side quests for a town of Smarty Pants, the best one being Smarty Pants Celestia.
("What was it? ... What? We have time.")
I had to use Smarty Pants Pinkie Pie's party canon to be shot into a banana farm to defeat Nightmare Moon... who turned into Smarty Pants Woona and Smarty Pants Luna. Double the lunar princess! With a Luna on both Celestia's sides I left Smartyville and entered a unknown place that looked like a wreck.
At the entrance, Spike slept in a golden basket with silky sheets. Being a... well... being a dreams, I took out a bloogle horn and began to play it worse than Pinkie, waking Mind Spike.
"Who dares disturb my slumber!" he bellowed, growing in size, but not changing shape. I pulled out my duel disc, summoning fake Twilight. "Twilight?! Hoooooow are you here?! You're supposed to watch the information wave!"
"And you're supposed to be cleaning this place!" fake Twilight exclaimed. Spike gulped, realizing he was caught dozing off.
He gave a salute as a broom materialized in his claw, "I'll get started, now!"
"Thank you, Spike! I knew I could count on my number one assistant!" she replied as I sneaked past him.
As soon as I reached the next checkpoint, I was snapped back to real Golden Oaks when I was tackled by a rainbow colored something. Rainbow Dash stood on me as her face was in mine, "Fandom! You have guts to enter town!"
"Nooo! I was progressing!" I complained as I returned to normal, my ultimatrix recharging. "OK, never mind. I would still be stopped there..."
"You couldn't hear us apparently!" Cortana sarcastically informed.
I was about to be in a fight when Twilight stopped Rainbow, "Wooow... my head hurts..." Suddenly she began to spasm. I quickly summoned my keyblade, pushing Rainbow off, and locking the advanced mental signals from the body as placed her in her bed, rolling her up like a burrito.
"What are you doing to her?!" Rainbow demanded.
"Well, I'm slowly fixing her, but since my current progress isn't good enough I had to lock her mind from her body in a way its almost like she's sleeping-"
"You killed her?!"
"No. She's very alive just... dumb until I can continue my adventure." We then looked over to Twilight, making noises and rolling in her confined space. "Can you bring a storm cloud? I need to get to work."
"Me? Help you poke inside my friend's brain?!" Rainbow got in my face again.
I raised an eyebrow, "Do you want to join?"
She hovered back, tilting her head, "What?"
Long story short she brought all of her friends... who can now wield keyblades because of Dash... who has a keyblade for unknown reasons. The first time I learned RD could do that was during Season 2 when I challenged her to a Xiaolin Showdown.
Anyway, this time I used a combination form of Princess Luna and Pesky Dust to bring the five friends with me. We had no problem sticking together... except for when we came across Mind Spike again, who stopped working to cat call Rarity... which is out of character, but then again I never hear Spike say "Who dares enter Golden Oaks Library" in the show.
We were almost tossed out at the same door when I caught Spike, pulling him to us. "Nice for you to join us," I greeted in a high pitched Luna voice- no joke. If Luna sucked on helium, this would be her voice. Oh yeah, I look like Pesky Dust, but with starry hair, navy wings and horn, and I wore a light blue tunic.
("I don't care what you look like!" Number One stated.)
I told Spike to wait outside and make sure Twilight is resting, Fluttershy left as well to join him.
Picking the lock, we opened up Twilight's emotion HQ. It looked like her old library in a way. Upon entering, I was tossed to a wall by a short, red, angry unicorn wearing a tie. Her cutiemark resembled Twilight's mark, but it was on fire. She got in my face, mane and tail on fire, "Who or what the buck are you?!"
I looked over to a blue Twilight with glasses and her mane in a bun, wearing a purple sweater, and reading a manual. She looked over to me, sadly sighing, "Good luck, sir..."
I was then tossed again, noticing a yellow alicorn with wavy blue and purple mane and tail greet Twilight's friends as Rarity commented on the flowing blue dress she wore. When I fell, I startled a filly Twilight with a messed up mane.
"You seriously like that? I could use more gems befitting of a... princess," a purple unicorn said as she joined the group.
Yellow alicorn decided to fly around, introducing everyone, "I'm joy. I like reading books and being with friends and family. Over there is Sadness, I keep telling her there's more to life than reading books, but Disgust- who is next to me -doesn't want to disappoint the princess when she needs us to study. Disgust also prevents Twilight from being poisoned... or eating quesadillas. I don't see what's wrong."
"Drop it, Joy," Disgust said, shivering. "They're just so cheezy!"
"Over there beating up the intruder is Anger. She isn't a fan of Pinkie's antic's or Rainbow's destruction of the library-"
I was suddenly forgotten as Anger tackled Rainbow out of the sky.
"-because it's bad and she's sensitive about these things." Suddenly I was levitated again, being tossed around with Rainbow Dash. "So what brings you here? Also, do you know why Twilight cant feel anything?"
Pinkie took charge, "We want our friend back!"
Sadness trotted up, sighing, "I saw Fandom the Random use his key on us when systems shut down." I got a good buck in the head from Anger at that. "He's trying to fix Twilight... but I doubt it will work..."
Anger dropped us, walking over to their library where she returned with a dictionary and beat me over the head with it.
"Why would it not, Darling?" Rarity asked.
"I just don't have it in me to keep faith..."
I explained my plan, getting approval from everyone, but Anger. The plan is simple, locate the book gum info and cram it into Twilight's long term memory... which looked like a glowing library. "Nopony touch anything. These are Twilight's long term memory-"
I heard Pinkie gasp a third time today. One was entering Twilight's mind, seeing "Friendship Island" where the elements of harmony formed a tree with their faces sticking out, smiling as the centerpiece, and the memory book she found.
"What is it, sugarcube?" Apple Jack asked.
"Twilight forgot Celestia's birthday!" she replied, before forcing it back into long term memory.
I pulled the book from her grasp, placing it on the ground, "Its still here, she might remember it eventually. Besides, how many birthdays do you need to find them annoying?"
"She had a short party yesterday," Rarity informed. "I doubt-"
I cut her off there, "Anyway, we don't have much time!"
I'm under oath to not say what happened next, but I will tell you that we found Smarty Pants and he led us to the book gum area where we decided to destroy the useless and already known information that was entering her mind.
Rainbow summoned her keyblade "Rainbolt" and took on the Daring Doo books. Rarity summoned her keyblade "Rough Diamond" and took on the fashion books, eliminating her competition. Pinkie's keyblade "Bubblewrap on a Stick" was tossed through the air, making popping noises on the animal facts and fan fiction.
...yes, somebody made fan fiction book gum. I had to help out in destroying the endless OTPs and black and red alicorn OCs.
Apple Jack took out her "Apple Core" keyblade, taking out the "Fancy Mathematics" since Twi already mastered them. My primary target was every Earth reference I could and knew find.
We spent the rest of our time there doing that. As soon as it was partially clear, we were forced back out and my ultimatrix died again.
"Again!" Rainbow declared.
I rose my keyblade, unlocking Twilight's higher brain function and watched. "...Ooooow! What hit me...?"
"And yet nobody has any news of Twilight's recovery?" Number One questioned.
We were leaving General Elmo's office, nothing too important was talked about. He was jabbering about another villain rising and will distract us from our time problem blah blah blah. Why cant meetings be interesting? I was swiped from my thoughts when Mr. Uno knocked on my head.
"Hello? Why is there no news of Twilight's recovery?" Number One asked, once he got my attention.
"Well, its not a full recovery," I said. "Let me explain-"
(A few days ago)
Imagine me standing by a fire. Imagine the fire on a cozy bed. Imagine the glow coming off my hands and a healing aura swirling around the fire. Replace the fire with a nerdy unicorn with a burning mane and numb hooves. That unicorn is Twilight Spare, the mare on fire.
"...Or you can avoid the Hunger Games reference entirely," Pinkie stated next to me, stroking Gummie as she watched me.
"This is weird," I said, causing my patient to look up at me. "Pinkie read my mind without mind reading powers."
Twilight rolled her eyes, "Don't question it."
"I'm not. I just didn't expect to get the receiving end of her abilities," I gave a shrug and stopped my Healing Hands, recharging my Magika. Then I began using MP Magic, continuously casting Cureaga on Twilight, the swirling gold aura replaced with a swirling glowing green leaf effect. "How's your head, Twilight?"
"Not as bad as earlier."
"Good. Nurse Pinkie?" I turned to my left to the pink pony with the giant syringe, filled with a green liquid. She gave a salute, my eyes realizing the sudden fact that she wore a stereotype pink nurse outfit with high white socks. "Put that needle away and get me a stamina potion." In a single backflip, she left the room. I turned to my right, getting used to her sudden appearance as I grabbed a green bottle.
"What is that?" Twilight asked, tilting her head, breaking the flower crown effect on her head.
"Its a stamina-" I stopped reading the label and sighing. "I said stamina potion not stamina poison!"
"Well, despite the bubble above saying 'a few days ago', its actually night time! Bad fan fic time aside, I think Twilight would need some rest!" Pinkie explained, smiling.
"Its a stamina potion! That'll allow her body to use energy within to heal itself. Its not like I'm making her chug a gallon of coffee." Pinkie and the wooden chest she brought this morning disappeared when I looked back, a tiny "BRB not Barbie, silly!" note in her place.
I took out a "Capsule Corp." orb from my inventory, tossing it to the ground as it transformed into a blank copybot.
"Rouge, may I have a stamina potion?" I requested.
The tan robot glowed a pale blue and began to change shape. Small black bat wings grew from the back, it grew a head taller and a humanoid bat face took shape. The feet turned into tall, white, heeled boots and the puppet-like hands suddenly came apart to form two long gloved hands. The soulless eyes gain an almost real eye look as blue eyes took its place. "Sure, I have nothing better to do," Rouge said as she stretched, testing the robot body. "Not bad. Well worth the wait."
Just as she was leaving, a pink blur knocked her over. "Nurse Redheart is here! Should I let her in?" Pinkie asked as a whirring noise filled the room.
"Nooo! I've fallen and I cant get up!" Rouge cried as her wings kept her stuck in a tripod position. "This is the worst possible thing! I cant believe it!"
"Wow. You're not even trying," Pinkie said, looking down. Her mane suddenly curled itself in Rarity's style with a little hair horn curl as she gasped, a hoof over her fake eyelashed eyes, "No! I've fallen and I cant get up! This is... The. Worst. POSSIBLE. THING!"
The door- which was somehow closed -was kicked down as a medical team ran in. "We're losing her!" One medic shouted as Twilight was swarmed.
Twilight flailed, shouting, "I'm fine! I have a pulse and I'm talking and- Why do you have a defibulator?!"
"CLEAR!" There was a sudden shock as a pegasus with two metal pads took out Twilight. Nurse Redheart ran in with some monitors, hooking it up to Twilight. "We're losing her!" *BZZZT!!!* "She's still flat-lining!"
Redheart slapped the medic, screaming, "What the buck are you doing?!"
I got on him, giving slaps as he was on the ground, "She! Was! Just! Fine! Be! Fore! You! Got! Here!" I shouted, each slap punctuating my point. *BZZZT!!!*
The room was silent besides the heart monitor, a screaming Rouge, and the heavy breathing coming from me as all attention moved from me to the unicorn with the defibulators in his aura. "What?"
I transformed into DJ Echo Echo, pushing the medical ponies away. One Echo started chest compressions as Nurse Redheart readied her rubber bag, when the Echo was done, another Echo helped her push air into Twilight. Just as expected, the air couldn't reach her lungs so we turned her so that she could vomit and continued.
The heart monitor's reading gained something resembling earthquake reading, "Now grab the defibs!" A supervising Echo shouted to a spawned Echo, who did his job. "And you two: figure out who taught these idiots! I swear, with pony medics like these who needs human nurses?!" *BZZZT!!!*
"Begin CPR!" Redheart exclaimed after everyone backed up. This whole cycle continued for almost an hour before normal heart readings returned. Within that time, Twilight's friends returned and stared in shock at the spectacle. And really? I wouldn't blame them.
Apple Jack muttered something under her breath before she joined the interrogation DJ Echos.
The room was dark still, except for the sunrise, the machines, and two lamps. One lamp was powered by Pinkie as she held it over some of the medical staff, swinging. One Echo (Cop 1) stared at one pony before speaking, "Tell me. Who trained you ponies?"
"Woah! Woah! Calm down," Another Echo (Cop 2) droned to his copy. "We don't have to be mean."
"They almost killed Twilight!"
"Two of them don't have a medical-themed cutiemark."
"What does that have to do with anything?!"
"Its those two we should focus on. After all, they're medical skills are just like every hospital TV show or movie scene." He pointed to the pegasus and unicorn, "They're meant to be actors!"
The unicorn broke as she screamed, "Its true!" She began crying while beginning a sad story about misunderstanding parents and blah blah blah. Why do interrogations in this world have to be dramatic? ...And I think she gave a few Echos feels when she mentioned the inability to follow her dream at this point and wasting her time in Celestia's school learning medical stuff.
The other actor looked shocked before saying, "My parents wanted me to be an actor while I pursued life-saving jobs! I'm hoping to become a Firepony one day!"
(Present Day)
I sat at the Dig Dug Diner with Number One, his glasses nearly falling off his face and all eyes on me. "Yep. Twilight almost died," I looked over to my right as Pinkie sat with us without explanation, "Pinkie witnessed the whole thing!"
"Yeperooni!" she replied cheerfully before being not there like usual.
"After that, Nurse Redheart stayed with Twilight as we had a sleep over. Also after leaving Golden Oaks, I was kidnapped before I could reach the CMC-KND Space Station, was being interrogated for "being a changeling" by TF2 Scouts, was rescued by a team of Spy Rugrats... The teenage version. It was awesome. I took a spaceship from the Scouts, almost destroyed the Death Star with a Twinkie, and arrived home to tell the tale. ...And Pinkie was there, too."
"Right again!" Pinkie said at a mic behind the counter. "Also can 42 get their food. Number 42. I am making a reference..... 42... I will eat your pie if you don't- Wait, that's me! heheheh..."
"I still cant believe the CMC have a space station," Cortana said in awe as we stared at the wood and metal rocket looming over Sweet Apple Acres. It stood on a large launch pad, looking almost like NASA's Apollo 11... or was it 15? Numbers, only computers need them to survive. "Well, we're setting systems to sleep."
"Give your flank a good smack if you need us," Rouge said as my ultimatrix-cutiemark's light dimmed slightly.
I rolled my eyes, flapping my wings to get the blood flowing through them again.
As I neared the farm, I heard some sobs as Applebloom was patting her big brother's back while he sat in front of a rusty tractor crushed under a big metal orb with "KND:CMC MK IX" in yellow paint on the side.
"It'll be OK, Big Mac," Applebloom said as Granny Smith drove up in a pink tractor.
He looked over as it passed, "N-nope... Jus' no..."
A musical number started, provided by Skull Kid on their barn with a guitar. ...Breaburn began singing as a small group of ponies from town walked onto the property to gawk and square dance. Pinkie was there with a white Stetson with a gold ribbon that had no visible top.
Sound familiar?
When the song ended, I made like sasquatch and- Never mind. Instead of a nonexistent joke! I'm going to make like... um... er... my eyes wondered. Trees. Leaves. Pun - last resort. Apple! ...Skrew it. When the song ended, I just walked into the orchard on my way to the rocket. ...Yeah, that sounded boring.
"Computer. Pause memory," Number One commanded.
Back in the present, I was strapped into a metal chair with a USB attacked to my helmet as the memory of a few days ago stood still. "What's up?" I asked as my point of view shifted from first person to third person. An area in the room warping until Nichole Uno and Moe Mew were visible, both facepalming in their seats.
"Computer. Continue, but stop at a minute."
They disappeared as I was shoved back in the holographic Pegasus body. My focus went out of sync when I saw a glowing figure in the trees, dashing in front of me as my eyes resynced with memory me.
Boba Fett ran and skidded to a stop in front of me, painted blue with long horns taped on his helmet. The memory paused again as several images flew onto the screen with each containing the bounty hunter. Mew reappeared just to point out, "How hard is it to see a guy from Star Wars... in a town full of ponies?!"
"Hey, he wasn't in my field of vision!" I countered. Another image replaced the nine pictures, showing Boba Fett standing right next to me while taking notes on my weak spots. "How do you get those details?!"
Number One appeared, "We have star ships, this technology is nothing. Computer. Continue." He disappeared again and I watched the event again.
Once the bounty hunter stopped and had his weapon drawn, his head flew back in an evil laugh. "Hello my little pony! I'm here to reference the Hulk Arc and take you to my leader! ...Which are the red spies you pissed off." He began firing his laser pistol as I dodged his shots, one grazing my wing. I commanded enough air to push him towards me as I built enough speed to safely knock him over.
I tossed magic wind off my wings as I galloped, focusing wind as I jumped for a fast yet strong punch. He turned his gun to counter, which worked as I was hit, but was too late to stop me as my hoof sent him flying into a tree almost without the aid of wind.
He tossed a grenade, easily being dodged by me before another was tossed. I didn't see the third grenade or even had time to focus power into the wind, my chest wound being the cause as I saw the blood on me. I quickly took out my mantis flip coin the same way ponies did: not questioning where its at as long as you have it in your hoof. "Mantis Fli-"
Time seemed to slow as I stared at the coin in my hoof, no thumb to flip it despite the fact hooves are very dexterous. "Are you kiddin-"
The room went black as I could barely picture the scene, but the point of view shifted to the very top of a tree as the figure as his two fairies witnessed Boba Fett and Casper walk up to the slowly regenerating pegasus without a face, who twitched a bit on the bloodied ground.
"Remember the plan," Casper said as his companion hacked the ultimatrix. Oscar was transformed into a blue and orange unicorn with a popsicle cutiemark before Casper possessed him. Casper messed with his face before a distorted voice came out of his mouth, "Why did he have to be a pony? Screw it, let's go."
"Sure thing Italian Ice."
My head was turned to him, my eyes were glowing as a quizzed look appeared on my face. "What?"
"Well, he named that form Italian Ice-" He paused as he look over to a shadow on the ground, their gaze followed to the memory's owner. "Ice him!"
Casper built up magic, pulling the bounty hunter closer, "We have no time to waste!" In a blue flash of light they disappeared with my possessed body.
The purple fairy flew into view, "Skull Kid, we need to report this!"
"Why? Its not my business." A high pitched voice said, coming from my point of view.
The white fairy flew over, "Well, we might as well report this with the Fazbear problem."
"Oh... yeah..."
The memory file ended with his writing "You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?" being written on a scroll.
The room returned to its bland, grey box look as it revealed Number One and Mew with a few other important and familiar faces in their own customized seats. The former got up, a hand on the materialized holographic desk, "This next memory we will analyze further. You might find this disturbing at a closer glance."
The room returned to black darkness, dim red light began to fill our vision as the sound of me hissing in pain was heard.
(About three or four days ago more or less.)
I slowly awoke with some great pain, like a bowling ball was lobbed at my stomach and my arms felt sore. I hissed in pain, but you couldn't hear it over the curses coming from a child's voice. "Lex, you dumbass, I was still in there!"
I lifted my head, checking my blurred surroundings as they cleared up. In front of me, Casper the friendly ghost had his arms to his gut as he glowered at Lex Luthor in his kryptonite powered armor. ...A glass dome protecting his bald head for once. I swear, suit or not, one powerful back hand would defeat him. "I know," he replied, a smug look on his face.
Looking around, I realized that I was hanging by my wrists in chains in a stone, windowless room with one door without a handle and a pair of eyes watching us through a slit in the door. Besides me, three other people were in the room: Boba Fett sharpening a knife in silence and the arguing baldies directly in front of me.
My hands began to gain a purple, pulsing aura as I used my Magika to summon an Flame Atronach... but my hands flashed a light blue, signaling that I wasn't powerful enough for the spell. Boba Fett looked up from his knife, giving off a vibe that made me assume he was smirking, "Well, look whose awake." He held up a USB, "I hope you don't mind, mate, but I swapped systems with you."
A faceplate slid down, locking into place and activating. With my Iron Man helmet snug, I felt my shackled release me as I landed on my feet, allowing me to dash towards the bounty hunter, but froze as my fist never met his face.
"My turn," he said. "Ultimatrix. Kryponian." My right arm began to burn then it spread all over me as the unnatural transformation program activated and changed me. Heck, the pain was so bad I fell over in mid-transformation, squirming on the ground. When the pain left, it was replaced with a cooling sensation as Boba shrugged, "It works. Not perfect, but works. Like my mum always said, 'Beggars cant be choosers.' Died of food poisoning, sadly."
Looking over myself, I looked just like my Kryptonian form, but with a modification. The ultimatrix wasn't attached to my chest like normal, it was buried in my arm, veins visible all around it. When I poked at it, pain shot through my arm and I fell backwards gritting my teeth as blood began leaking from under the ring of it. It was so bad, I shot a wide beam of lasers for a moment. "Boba, control your pet!" Lex shouted.
"Well, you have kryptonite! Toss a shard at 'im!" the hunter countered. "You know what? I don't need him. Computer. Transfer control to Lex."
With that, Lex reverted me to normal and tore off my helmet. I was seeing pure red, not from the room's lights or anger, but something is wrong. His suit opened a compartment, where he took out a tomatoe with an 'M' emblazed on it.
As soon as that fruit touched my tongue, I gained enough energy to begin eating it. As my body began to feel amazing, I was tossed into a wall by Casper, "We don't want you harming us-"
"I fixed the problem, Mr. Fett," Lex stated before giving a winded, scientific response.
I hesitated, but surly began scrolling through my forms as he spoke. My DeadPool form appeared, looking limp and lifeless as his hologram glitched. Continuing, I began to grimace at the distorted images that were glitching as well as creeped me out. For example, my Care Bear form looked like it hung itself on an invisible rope while one of my pony forms squirmed in place. I settled with the only normal looking one...
"What're you doin'?!" Casper shrieked as I pushed down on the floating ultimatrix ring. I gained an odd, falling feeling as the universe's power was bestowed upon me and Q took over. ...except Q doesn't feel like this, not by a long shot. My body began to spasm as another being including Lex tried to take control.
"yoU HaVE AnGEred Us." My distorted voice said before our long arms clutched our head. "I'm sharing a bod with this guy?! Go back to stealing children, I got this." A shallow laugh sounded as I responded, "COnTinUM fool! hOw DaRE YOu!" I booped my own face and pulled out a mirror. "I dare say, you made me ugly. Though, beggars cant be choosers. cRy FOr meRCy!!! What he said."
The true me looked in horror at Slenderman... with hair... wearing a red suit........... only a pair of bleeding yet not blood-shot beautiful blue eyes on our detail-less blank face. And I was flipping out.
Q of Star Trek is powerful enough to win a fight with a snap of a finger, but Discord can still give him a challenge. Slenderman is a creepypasta god of the forests, having dark power and such. The Q hate Slenderman to no end... even though my Q is taking this fusion well. What if they're powers bleed together, corrupting Q?! Flipping out. Definitely flipping my stuff.
Whatever plan was made failed when I began tossing everyone around with my extra limbs. Lex tried to calm me, but it only slowed the rampage as Q enjoyed the ride and Slendy sighed inwardly.
Through sheer luck or Deus Ex Q, the USB containing my original systems was in absorbing range, allowing installation. Cortana and Rouge escaped their prison, fixing everything as programs returned to normal. Learning later, being hacked actually helped more than hurt in the long run as corrupted, out of date, and junk was replaced with new or updated programs.
"Load Complete. Cortana.exe installed." "Load Complete. Rouge.exe installed. Error? Crap! Q, Slenderman, whoever is in control- Boba Fett is hacking us!"
"Alexander Luthor, too. We only have enough strength to deny Luthor's rule over us, we need to sever his control!"
"The hell?! Q's cells are trying to destroy Slenderman's cells,but we cant transform at this state!"
That was the last thing we heard before I blacked out...
"That's disturbing how?" General Elmo asked, looking around he added, "Well, besides the god transformation?"
"They're not gods," I began, "If you look into... uh... Slender Q? Slender Q's eyes show an image of a line of text between two computers." Number One zoomed in on the eyes, making me and a few others shutter at the before zoomed image.
Pinkie Pie is onto us, but not at your time. She cant change the past, nobody can.
What about Mr. Uno?
His time is dead, once the time lock is gone so will he. It'll be too late to stop us by then.
It is done... or is it? This code of data is blurring.
"Attention anypony or anybody or anybug that gets this message! The end is neigh and the sky will rain war heads from my time to the past. I know it makes no sense, but if you ask Princess Twilight Sparkle if a party pony from Ponyville can make sense then that's your answer. My tail has been twitching in reverse for a day now, they're coming for me and they've found me. This is my last party and its going off with a bang, but I don't want it to end. I want a time where I can be with my friends again. I want a time that I'm not on the run from meanie robots... or seeing Gummie in a gumbo... or sad faces... I want a time I don't want to forget, because my friends are there. My family is there safe from harm on they're farm. Laughter isn't forced, but genuine.End it quick, the chaos lords are among us.Thanks Cheese. If you can hear me or see my message... Seek protection- no. A protector. Discord or the princesses will work, but who will believe us?"
Target Neutralized. What were you saying Time-base?
All attention was turned to the pair of shades that fell to the ground. Everyone was speechless, they looked like fish out of water and I cant blame them. Somehow Pinkie's voice was projected off the image, like zooming in the video would bring focus to an unheard sound that was Pinkie's quivering voice with subtitles that didn't serve justice to the emotion behind her words.
Popeye and Nacho shared a glance, Bat Man just sipped from his mug despite it being empty for the past hour, Cooper the Fusionfall Dexter stopped recording the spectacle and shook his head.
Doctor Mario lobbed a boot to Link's head, shouting, "Oi! Ya don speak! Link doesn speak!"
Link pointed a finger at Mario, "Well, Mario is Italian!"
"Enough!" Mew thought at them, preventing a fight. "This isn't smash, this is serious!"
I rolled my eyes, "I'm in agreement. What's more serious than the least serious character in MLP pouring her heart out in a rambling warning from the future only for out-of-date characters, a fan character gone wrong, café Bat Man, and CN and Nintendo characters to hear it? ...Oh and an Elmo that scares me." Said Elmo just sat there with a never changing neutral look that threatened to turn him into Maud Pie. "So, everyone is used to changing universes? How about we take everyone and send them to another Equestria?"
"Double Luna..." someone mumbled among the facepalms.
"What? It hasn't stopped anybody in this room from taking my Equestria so why stop?" I asked.
Popeye was about to speak when General Elmo took over, "We came here for a new life a refuge. Be the heroes to stop the bad guys that call this place home. Whether our last universe was destroyed or try to kill us, this Celestia had to deal with our kind and gave us places to guard which we built cities over our guarded area. Nobody judges the other and will help when its needed."
"True harmony is key," Nacho Libre said. "She sees that. We see that. Now back on topic, indeed Mario is Italian-"
"No. The topic was fallout on Equestria."
"This whole thing is convoluted. There's timelines where we win or lose, how are we going to stop that?"
Number One placed his shades to his face, smirking as he commanded, "Computer. Continue. I have a plan."
(Three days ago. In space. Death Star.)
After recovering from my crashed ship, I began to climb the outer wall of the Death Star until I found an air lock.
"Door opens in 3... 2... 1..." The door opened at my feet, causing me to aim my hidden blade and fire my chained harpoon as I pulled myself inside. The door shut behind me allowing air to enter the room. "Objective Set. We're going to ride with someone back to Equus."
"Or we can walk outside and push off the ship and fall into the planet's gravity well, landing on the ground like a bad ass."
"Or land on the ground as a charred mass of flesh and metal, unless Oscar transforms to save his these."
I paused my stride at a door leading to the main area of the ship, "'My these?' These what?"
After an hour of holding a sign with "Hussie Sucks" on it, nobody important showed up. Out of the corner of my eye I would see something pink and fluffy, but ignored it. I then flipped the sign to say "Homestuck? Homesuck!" and still got nothing... well besides some bits in a tin can.
"Hey, I think that's Dave Strider! Isn't he a time traveler-?"
"Screw this!" I shouted from boredom, not wasting a third hour standing. My suit's secondary color turned orange as I focus magic into a slowing spell and ran towards the exhaust port, placed a Twinkie inside, and ran over to an exit, but stopped. Returning time to normal, I was invited to ride back down to Equus by non other than the Cutie Mark Crusaders... who were at the KND's section of the Death Star base... which isn't evil...
Now I feel bad.
"Are you serious?! We found our guy just now, what're you doing?"
"Ultimatrix. The Mask." I began to spin rapidly as I transformed and stopped when I had my blue face and overly emo look on. "This time travel arc is so dumb! Why does the writer think this will be cool?! We're at 31 Likes and Dislikes, with the recent chapters- No!" I had a pirate suit on and a cutlass raised high, "No! This sucks so bad, he must go down with his ship!! As will I, for I am this story's protagonist and its unavoidable."
In my pegasus form on the oddly safe ship, I decided to listen to a conversation that will mean nothing to me. World building stuff.
"That was a success!" Scootaloo hoof pumped as she maneuvered the asteroid belt. "Now we can get 2x4 technology cutiemarks!"
Sweetie Belle's smile dropped as a though occurred, "Wait, why are we joining with KND again?"
"To git our cutiemarks?" Applebloom said as if it was obvious.
"What does a cutiemark mean besides finding our special talent?"
"Growin' up an' findin' our purpose as small equals. What's up?"
"We just joined forces with a group of children that never want to grow up and see everyone whose older as a threat," Sweetie explained. "If we get our cutiemarks we might become they're enemies!"
Just then a projector above my head came to life, displaying an image of an angry colt with a pot on his head with a picture of a black pony head with a white 99 for eyes. "Cutie Mark Crusaders, ho! This is Neighmber Neighnty Neighn, reporting theft of KND tech-! Whose that with you?!"
Applebloom glared back at him as I held back a snicker, "Rumble, you tricked us!"
"My names not Rumble anymore! You wanted the ponies here to grow up while you take our tech, it was you who tricked us!" He paused, looking to the side. "Neighnty Ewe, this better be- What?" He trotted off screen briefly, giving me time to laugh at the dumb pun before he returned. "Your harboring a teen, you stole our ice cream machine-" All eyes were on Sweetie.
"They had strawberry/grape swirl! They said take anything, how could I resist?!" She defended.
"...And attempted to destroy the Death Star with a roasted Twinkie."
A filly off screen added, "Also there's love letters for you left behind." Rumble raised an eyebrow then galloped on screen as the filly sang, "I think I know who~."
Scootaloo looked back, a bit red and attempting to change the subject, "What is a Twinkie?"
"I'll stop you there," I said, holding up a hoof. "There's a bad joke in there somewhere so lets avoid it."
"Yeah, I want to know who likes Rumble!" Sweetie piped up.
"Or we can have ice cream and shut up," I said. "Gossip is bad and Gabbygums, wherever she is, might agree. After all-"
"I'll have strawberry/grape, Scootaloo will have chocolate, and Applebloom will have vanilla! I don't know about you, though," her squeaky voice cut me off. I shrugged, distributing the ice cream. ...Mine being grape because, whose ever heard of grape ice cream or sherbet?
Rumble returned to the screen, dropping the duct tape in his mouth, "Stick around, Neighnty Ewe."
"Seriously?! First Rumble is leader of the pony KND, we have a ship, and now an overused quote!" Rouge complained.
Neighmber 99 glared at us, "Crusaders, prepare to be boarded!"
"I think we have enough boards, thanks for the offer!" Sweetie replied. For a moment I thought I heard Spike shout behind me, but shrugged it off. "...Oh, that kind."
Did I say pegasus form? I meant changeling, because I returned to my normal form when my ultimatrix conveniently lost power. I took that moment to access their link and access my web cam as Rumble fell backwards. "Do it! I triple-dog and pink party pony and pretty princesses dare you!" I shouted.
After projecting dozens of gifs on his screen, he just sat there, "...Enjoy your gifts from the KND... though please return the ice cream! The food up here sucks."
"Will do," Applebloom said, "As a peace offering since we're not going to be as close."
"We don't need four ponies anyway. Neighmber-" there was a crash, "Rumble, out!"
You see that robot? Using his weaponized armor attachments as a way to avoid me? The robot that is somehow running like a wolf? That's a guy that thinks he's Dr. Light and Dr. Cossac's Reploid "OVER-1", despite not knowing the actual character.
"I WANT A COPY OF YOUR BATTLE MEMORY!"
And this is me, assimilating anything... Or pirating/mooching advanced systems off anybody with poor security to accessing the same wifi. I was about to do the same to Megaman- seeing as my armor would have new easily accessible weapons -when OVER-1 from "Rockman Xover" that never became "Megaman Crossover" since it was never in the app store in America. Anyway, he just happened to stroll (or float) on by, gaining attention in his OVER-10 armor.
If you make yourself shiny, gold, and divine-looking... I'd say your asking for something, I don't know. ...Also word spread throughout the park I was doing all this at.
"You're losing him!"
"Initiating Kratt Brother Animal Armor," I commanded.
"Um... there's a squirrel nearby... I guess."
"Accessing library for animal DNA," I voiced my ultimatrix, messing with it until I had cheetah selected. My armor transformed as I had a white cheetah themed armor with blue arms, legs, tail, and ear armor. My ultimatrix transformed into what looked like shoulder armor as I began to run on fours, tracking him with my visor. "It ain't easy being cheesy!" I shouted as the blue parts of my armor turned red and I gained speed, passing an offended Chester Cheetah eating what looked to be hot cheetos dipped in white chocolate... It also tasted like that.
"You should've seen his face! haha!" Rouge giggled a bit before we got serious again.
Gypsy Danger copy downloaded: 12% and Pending.
"Alas poor Cortana, she's stuck in loading limbo! I knew her well."
Back hand 100% complete. Attack failed. Gypsy Danger copy downloaded 13%.
"Its ironic, isn't it?" I called up to him. "A cat is chasing a dog!"
"Well, the dog doesn't want to be pirated!"
"I'll pay you in quests!" I said, leaping off a car.
"Screw that! I'm still waiting for the guy with my OVER-Z armor!"
"Its just armor!"
"Based on Zero!" he said, scaling a wall in an alley, pushing it and going over me. I slid, trying to make a U-Turn before I regain footing and tailed him.
"Woah, really?! Tell me who-"
"NO! You are not system raping me!"
"That's a stereotype, kid!" Rouge said aloud as I kept chasing him up a tower before bouncing off the top and going into free fall. He angled his fall, landing on a building. Meanwhile, I went all "Attack on Titan" with the opportunity and used the grappling lines on my 3D maneuver gear to launch myself almost on him.
"Please, give up! I really want your battle memory!" I begged as swung myself to another building to get ahead of him. Her turned as I kept going in one direction before I activated my duel disk. Using a data card, I summoned a fake Pinkie Pie to fire at me with her party canon with enough force for a successful turn.
OVER-1 looked down at the ground and over to me before looking back down as he landed on another roof, "How the hell am I leaping tall buildings in a single bound!"
"I know, that's my thing!" Spider Man said as we passed.
"Please!Please!Please! PLEASE, let me have a scan! A copy! Anything!"
"Warning: a piece of-" I dodged the brown bio-matter, barring my teeth as a simple scan became personal.
"I've been saving that since ComiCON!" he shouted, doing some mid-air splits and flipping both fingers at me.
"EW! EW! EW! What did I step in?!" a shrieking voice screamed below.
Using data card summons, I did an assisted triple front flip, sticking the landing.
Music begins to play as we enter the pure pony sector of town where on the ground, Colgate... or Minuette... was singing "Trust Me, I'm a Dentist" even though the radio was playing "Rock Me Amadeus"... for some reason. Once again, I have no idea what the guy is singing, but the dentist apparently had the parody set up with the dental theme. ...Oh and she was beating up owlbears with a giant blue toothbrush.
"Was that a reference?" OVER-1 asked as he stood on a lamppost below.
I dived to the ground, creating shields to create a soft landing, but absorbing the force enough to prevent the ground from cracking. "Yeah, I guess. Hey, can you at least point me into the direction of somebody who could help?"
OVER-1 reverted to his normal form (click the link in the author note.) as he hopped down to the ground. "Why would you need my programming? You have that watch thing that everyone is talking about and you just jumped off a building with a bubble shield, landing full force without repercussions as well as used some sort of animal armor to chase me and a devise that allows you to increase your armor's ability! You even equipped some sort of grappling hook belt and summon Pinkie Pie!"
"Yeah, but I have a voice command weapon library. The best I can do is summon shen gong wu and a few other weapons that aren't even my most powerful!" I countered. "Just think, I could complete what you described! I could use weapons and armor power ups based on what DNA I have as well as improve myself more!"
"Scan complete. We're done here." Cortana stated, "Gypsy Danger is downloaded, stable, and operational."
OVER-1 paused as he found a bag of bits in his pocket.
Cortana turned on the speaker, saying, "I just wiped your systems of any viruses inside of you, Reploid. Try not to go Maverick any time soon and we'll pretend this encounter never happened."
He made a sick expression as his body vibrated for a moment before slowly walking off.
As soon as he was out of sight, a Copybot was activated taking the form of Cortana as my armor began to remove itself, leaving me with my casual wear with light armor over it and my ultimatrix. As Cortana attached and adjusted the armor to herself. "Rouge, send two or three shield nodes to Oscar."
Two metal orbs left her armor's belt, entering my belt as she gave me a look. "Let me guess, I'm in trouble?"
The blue of her armor turned red as she got in a track runner's stance. "Giving you a minute head start before I play some futbol."
"Yeah, I figured." Implementing the bubble shield, I rolled away as fast as I could. Since the shield was meant for heavier armor, it acted like a hamster ball that kept me as a floating core than using force from my feet for power the momentum. I wasn't far enough when she ran up and punted me at a distance, creating cracks in the energy surface. Apparently when Cortana and Rouge filled in my request for a 'bubble shield', they got the shield part thought out as I was literally bouncing off the walls and the ground. I even ran into the Smooze. I disengaged my shield for a moment before using a regular energy shield to block another kick.
I slid on the ground near the park just as Mega Man sat at a bench with popcorn for Scrooge McDuck. "You just couldn't wait for me to download a giant robot before going nuts on something dumb!"
My ultimatrix scanned Scrooge as I took a battle stance. Rolling my eyes I said, "Not helping, ultimatrix."
"I beg your pardon?!" Scrooge exclaimed.
"You're not dumb. Though scanning you was bad time-" I quickly dodged as I blocked with a shield, quickly noting the white-green armor color and my shield recharging. Cortana threw more punches as I dodged and poorly countered her attacks. ...My actual punches are pathetic so basically while I injured my hand, Cortana didn't have any opposing force strong enough to push her. "Screw this! Falcon Punch!"
"It was somewhat effective!"
"Shut up, Brock!" I shouted as the gym leader took out his own box of rice balls jelly filled donuts to enjoy.
"You sought to have no weakness. You pirated tech and programs!"
"Well, I am a member of several thieves guilds and several pirate islands," I replied, firing some fire or lightning spells. "Stupid side quests got me involved!"
"...Oh yeah. But your a sworn hero!"
"I don't kill and bring back what I do kill without necromancy. History is written by the victors!"
Cortana lowered her chainsaw, "Are you kidding me."
"Besides there's a pirate law in the city so those we pirated from allowed us to and those we didn't were compensated with whatever bits I have lying around," Rouge explained. "Now aim for his head! Viva la Robota!"
Cortana's armor returned to its form for my ware as its split open in the back. She turned her back towards me as solid tentacle constructs grabbed me and pulled the armor back on me as the Copybot returned to my inventory. Over to my right, someone in the crowd shouted, "Boo! More lasers!"
Humpty Dumpty said, "Orbot! Cubot! Hurry before we fall!"
A round red robot and his square friend was fixing the engine of the Eggmobile, a hovercraft of this Eggman's design. There was a rumble behind them, kicking up smoke in their wake. Hedgehogs of Modern, Classic, or BOOM... with some fan too... were creating a storm of sand north of Appleoosa.
When they thought they were doomed, Discord showed up! ...with Tirek. Orbot shouted, "We only have power to reach Ponyville. I'm sorry Doctor, but we will have to take a trai-"
"Go! Go! Go! GOOO!" Humpty Dumpty the Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik shouted as they flew out of sight. The last thing they saw was a losing battle between the fast hedgehogs and Tirek, who stole their speed magic. Or whatever Modern Sonic runs on that makes him glow. The vision shimmered away, revealing the unharmed yet angry society of hedgehogs looking around for their target.
One again reminded of my last Equestria, I began to walk aimlessly for who knows how long. Harley and Seph tried to keep my spirits up, but the wound cuts too deep.
"Spike, what have I done?" Twilight sighed dejectedly. "I've ruined my friends lives. ...It's all my fault."
Sora was snapped by his train of thought, looking down to realize he was in his pony form. I stared at my dark brown hooves with the white swirling thorn look of my constant final form before slowly turning my head to my left.
Twilight Sparkle sat in the middle of an angry Ponyville. I was accidentally breaking ten laws just being this close to her... I stopped my hovering, trotting up to her. ...She may not be my Twilight, but this will put my soul at ease at least. "...uh...hi? What's wrong?"
Twilight was broken from her deep thoughts, looking up as our eyes locked. "I... I ruined my friends' destinies. ...And I don't know what to do!"
"...Maybe I can help." In the meantime I can slowly become envied by every Displaced in the land, but this is destiny I'm sure of it! Friendship is power anyway.
"...I tried my memory spell, convincing them of their real lives, and even dragged them to their destination areas!" Twilight explained. "I even put Grocho Marx on Pinkie, but they wont except their destinies as if there was a barrier!"
"A barrier?" I asked. What should've been the "true true friend" musical route failed somehow, but what if... I took out my keyblade, "Take me to them!"
Twilight stared at me in shock, her own keyblade forming. It was a simple yet elegant violet and magenta keyblade with the head, hilt, and keychain resembling her six-point star cutiemark. Below the head, along the neck, were five tiny white stars. "You have one, too?!" she asked, excitedly.
"I have multiple keyblades- In fact, I'm a Keyblade Master!" I was somewhat fanboying, but I had to keep it down. "How did you get yours anyway?"
"Rainbow Dash. And we have no clue where she got her key." She paused, her eyebrow raised, "So... we're going to knock out my friends?"
"What makes you think that?"
"These are weapons, right?"
"Yeah, but they don't harm the innocent and have multiple purposes. The main of being-" I swung Oblivion and Oathkeeper over to a hot air balloon and fired a magic laser where Fluttershy was about to 'make like a tree and leaf'. Her eyes glowed as her mark switched from balloons to butterflies. "Magical key things."
Twilight galloped over to her friend as I hovered behind with Spike sitting on Oathkeeper.
It was a normal day in Displopolis, except for a newcomer away from New Atlantis. A small wooden wagon was being pushed by oars as it it was a canoe. Inside the wagon was a pool containing a tired tan mermaid. Basically she looked like a Hawaiian version of Ariel from Disney's 'the Little Mermaid'.
A crab was helping her find her way to town, holding a map twenty times his size. His Jamaican voice spoke, "Amanda, me thinks we're here."
"Its Arielilo now! Amanda is a dumb land dweller."
"Oh? Then what does that make you?" He pointed a claw at her, "You're a mermaid who can't swim! Now, I think swimming lesson will be on your left-" There was a cracking noise as the wagon tilted over, water almost leaked out. Sabaston looked over to the side, muttering curses. "Well, we might be stuck."
"Why?" She asked. Suddenly there was a shake as the wagon was lifted off the ground.
"You have a broken wheel! Let me help," a teenage male voice said from underneath. "Hello, my name is the great Fandom Man legend-"
"Not really!" Someone said at a distance.
"Yeah...Where to?"
Sabaston looked over to see a boy in Mega Man X ripoff armor and a white Iron Man helmet begin walking forward with the wagon in his hands. "Greninja's Garden. Amanda needs swimming lessons."
"Amanda?" Fandom Man asked, "To be honest: she looks like a Lilly or a Ariel-Lilo mix."
"See!" Arielilo said, grasping her oar. "Though, Lilly is starting to sound better. By pony theme: Lilly Pad... or just Lilly."
That's when I showed up. I ran towards the center of of Displopolis, Steve at my heels. "Nacho, slow down!"
I turned my head back, "I can't Steve, the magic of friendship is filling me with excitement!" I suddenly knocked over that guy that almost killed me. A mermaid in a coconut bra began flopping on the ground as a crab tried resuscitating her to no avail, but I was sure she was fine. "Eagle Spirit! Give me strength..."
Sora stood in shock as Twilight disappeared, her friends and Spike worried about her sudden disappearance.
"Well... who wants to... um... practice keyblade magic until Twilight returns?" I asked, slowly and hesitantly.
AJ and Rainbow shrugged, taking out their keyblades. "Sure," Rainbow said. "Got nothing better to do until then."
The three of us got in battle positions. Rainbow Dash held her keyblade in her front hooves while Apple Jack used her mouth. Oblivion and Oathkeeper hovered behind me as we locked eyes.
Rainbow closed the distance by I blocked her strike, but before I could counter with Oblivion, Apple Jack stopped it with her apple tree themed keyblade. Sora spun around in his wisdom form, firing magic from Oathkeeper as Apple Jack and Rainbow dodged. "Pull your magic to your key, put your heart in your shot!" I called out.
The two of them paused, charging shots they fired. AJ's magic resembled a shot gun while Rainbow's was faster and more focused. After a while, everyone joined even Rarity, who was her key as another horn. I taught them how to transform their keyblades, riding on a skateboard that was Oblivion while reloading my Oathkeeper guns to continue the firework show.
Suddenly, I was caught off guard by some hovercraft dropping out of warp with a boom in the air. That combined with my magic somehow sent us to Displopolis where my face fell on something wet. I was suddenly slapped by a fish girl, who suddenly plopped onto a knocked over pool of water. The wagon was tossed up by her cry as Fandom Man got out from under the wooden vehicle.
"Don't worry, fair maiden," he said, puffing her chest as his armor turned blue and water shot from his hand, refilling the pool with water. "I will- Oh, hey Sora! What's up?"
"Giving Twilight wings and helping the elements use keyblades as tools," I said getting up, dusting myself off. "Are you picking up chicks?"
"Aalkos...(1) I noticed her wagon wheel broke and I was bored," he said.
"Sure. Any way," I turned to the cooked mermaid. "Sorry for dropping in. ...Actually, how am I here?"
M'aiq the Liar walked by, fixing his yellow cloak as his tail swayed, "Deus Ex Magic. The writer does not care."
Piloting the story to do another dumb side story. We meet inside of a blue microchip-themed world where specific characters sat at a bonfire.
"Are we supposed to say something meaningful?" Mask asked.
"No," his four companions replied.
"Does this move the plot?" FandomPool asked.
"Is there even a plot?" Q asked, "I'm still waiting for chapter 2."
Everyone continued to silently eat marshmallows when suddenly a screen formed.
"What is Twilight doing?" Fandomcord asked.
"Beats me," Discord replied. "I think a star butt is born."
"When did you get here?"
"I'm always here yet I never am."
"Alright."
On screen after Twilight defeated the giant heartless made of her past doubts, she walked into a starry hallway where Celestia sat playing Mine Sweeper. "Oh, you made it!" Celestia said. "I wonder why it took you so long to get here."
There was a heart to heart conversation and a musical as Celestia covered her student in a mysterious aura that led Twilight to a dark realm with a keyhole. Twilight summoned her keyblade, twirling around as she spun to face the keyhole, charging and firing a laser that unlocked her hidden power as magic energy wings flared from her sides and her eyes glowed. She suddenly made a nosedive to the ground where she landed in the middle of Ponyville where her friends waited.
Mask tossed his popcorn at the screen, making it shimmer. "Booooo! More explosions!"
FandomPool cupped his hands around his mouth, "We don't need Princess Twilight Has-" Suddenly her wings flared as angelic music played in the background and Twilight gained a drive form and two keyblades. Light magic exploded behind her as she held a Princess themed keyblade that resembled the ultima weapon with a solar eclipse keychain end. "Carry on, princess."
Q leaned over his knees, hands making a tent shape in front of his face, "Now the merchandising begins."
Discord pulled out a wiki page from nowhere, stating, "I found Adagio Dazzle!"
Q gave a sideways smirk, "Brilliant. We will keep the human idea and create a season of rainbows."
Mask had the stereotypical fat Brony look as he shouted, "HUMAN TWILIGHT!"
"It will take place in a high school and Twilight will have a love interest," Fandomcord said.
Mask put on his M.A. Larson face... before grossly discarding it. "Seriously, we're role playing that?" he asked, brushing the cheetoh dust that reverting back to normal didn't take care of.
"Good idea, we make- Yeah, I'm done now."
Q frowned, "Sooo... Any idea on the future chapter?"
"...and the elements of harmony have been converted into keyblades," Mayor Popeye concluded on his news. "In fact, now that the mane six can dual wield magic keys I wonder what will happen next!"
As I stood, completing my checklist and listening to the news, Cortana added some personal news, "It has been confirmed: Lego Craft is out of prison. Now we can-"
"No."
"Commencing PLAN B."
"Which is physically impossible."
"Actually its not. All you need are those wu." Rouge would have a sour taste in her mouth, but being a program, she created a 5 in herself. "We use our contact history to ride the line to Time-base."
"I hope you're not talking Disney XD Shen Gong Wu..." I replied, nearly gagging at the thought. "Cant any of you convert us into data?"
"No. That technology hasn't been perfected yet. ...Unless..."
"Unless what?"
"Remember the Megaman Starforce games or the Megaman Battle Network anime?" Cortana asked.
My armor was sent to my inventory as I floated in some sort of magical girl transformation. My backpack was sent to my inventory next as my jeans suddenly felt tight. I was greeted with the sight of cubes creating blue armored boots over my shoes and shin, the same happened with my arms, followed by shoulder pads being put into place as a slightly bigger version of my ultimatrix dial ring slammed onto my waist, creating and armored belt with a chest plate. A pack materialized on my back, attaching itself to the chest plate as a machine gun materalized, sliding snugly onto my left shoulder. My unarmored areas of my body were matted down and glowing as a thin armor fabric covered me. A helmet materialized onto my head with a visor and my right hand armor changed to include an interface on my forearm.
I fell out of my transformation, in some awesome "Space Marine" armor... like this guy, but with some War Machine attributes added and not too heavily armored and with my color scheme, but with more blue.
I hopped around, getting a feel for the change. On my arm, some blocks moved to the sound of Cortana's voice, "Tracking device works. Let's ride!"
As soon as I found my arm cannons, I was tossed through our version of the internet, finding myself at...
"Well... this is unexpected. We're supposed to fight here?!"
"Well, we fought a Kirby with a mind controlled mafia army... which wasn't much..." I pointed out.
Suddenly Eevee Mon's pokeball materialized, letting the Digimon-Pokemon hybrid out. He looked over at me and- "Gosh dangit! Do I have to merge with Rouge?!"
"This is so left field for me that I'm just going to stick with our "arc ending" theme," Rouge left us, making Eevee Mon glow a bright blue. "DNA Digivolve! ...or some crap like that!"
Eevee Mon's fur turned white as navy blue bat wings sprouted out of his back. He gained blue boots and weaponized gloves similar to the ones I have now, but its aligned with three white hearts along the arm before it reaches the elbow. He gains a white helmet that let most of his eats stick out and a light blue visor covers his eyes and a navy blue belt with a light blue heart belt bucked formed around his waist.
In both their voices Rouge-V began tapping hid foot, "Are we ready now?"
"Rouge-V, use tackle!" I shouted as I avoided an attack from a virus corrupted warrior. Walking into the building was a big mistake as we were forced to fight people corrupted by viruses that could EM Wave Change... like in the anime!
"I will do what I want!" he retorted, tackling the flaming Han Solo in the room. Our guns were disabled so that Han could- You know where I'm going with this. As soon as Han was neutralized, Number One beamed him out instead of helping us! As soon as I was able to fire a shot, I began twirling so that my machine gun could take out some enemies. "Hey, watch it, buddy!"
I stopped firing, turning to a nearby virus-host. "Falcon Punch!" I shouted as my punch made him bounce off the walls and knocking over his buddies. I then summoned twin swords, spinning like a top as Cortana guided us to nearby enemies. You'd think the controlled host would have lacerations at least, but it was their viruses that were destroyed by swords made of data. The Displaced and ponies under their control will just have headaches and lose consciousness for an hour, even before they were beamed out of the building.
"Thu'um.org time!" Rouge-V exclaimed as they moved their fight away from me as I glared at the door in my path.
I inhaled audibly and let out an angry low sentence, "Miiraad hi pruz bex vok us Zu'u al hi! ...If you will be so kind."
The metal door broke its lock as it swung open, imploding with part of the wall until it formed a metal junk ball with a handle on top. From a distance it would look like a big grenade. "You are Dragonborn! Let's move!" he said as the remains of his foes were collected around Rouge-V.
We entered another dark room, but instead of trap doors near windows and ten burning trashcans providing light, there was dim flickering lights. Cortana and Rouge-V turned on flashlights instantly as Weeping Angels got in our faces... upon further inspection: there were also Weeping Pegasi. For those unfamiliar with 'Doctor Who'...
They are scary and they will kill you before you're born... the usual time travel dilemma. If they look at themselves, its the same as looking at them so their greatest strength is their greatest weakness.
"Initiating mirror camo," Cortana declared.
We dropped to the ground under boxes with reflective surfaces, amazed that they actually worked. There was a few times they got smart and covered their eyes, but they either bumped into each other or someone forgot to cover their eyes. Rouge-V placed a hand mirror from somewhere, placing it in one Angel's hand and propping some on a kickstand to balance on pegasi wings.
I was able to get DNA scans off of them while they were in statue form, happily dashing over to the next door. "Open says-a-me!" The door responded by being a door.
Rouge-V held out the last door, "You see this?" He broke the door down with the balled door, "It breaks things. Things like brainless doors."
"Well that was rude," the fallen door replied, making Rouge-V jump.
"When this is over: I'm finding DeadPool and we're going to kill the author."
The door exploded as our heroes slid through the door and made t to home base. "SAFE!" some virus-possessed umpire shouted before Fandom Man shot the virus out of him with his arm canon's shotgun setting.
"Are they kidding us?!" Rouge-V shouted, "You can poison my water, you can give me bad chicken, you could break all the health codes-"
I looked up at him, "I don't know what part of who is talking, but that sounds terrible."
"You can replace the burger in my sandwich with feces-"
"No! What the heck, man?!" I shouted as I nearly gagged.
"I'm good," Rouge-V replied as he grabbed my left arm and sniped a wall. A Cyberman lost his invisibility, sparking as he slowly walked towards us with a incinerator pistol that slid above his arm. "Cybermen? I thought I shot a Borg!"
"You will be assimilated." said a voice waaay to close to me. Around the room, silver robot and cannibalized-to-be-robot people and ponies dropped out of cloak.
For those of you that don't watch Doctor Who or Star Trek: The Cybermen will take over a living host and strip them of their emotions and they gain a metal shell that covers who they once were as they seek to "upgrade" or "delete" things. The Borg is similar to Cybermen and Changelings.
They will strip the people of their identities and emotion as they become cyborgs with a hive-mind connection to the Borg Queen, who will command them to take over ships or planets to "assimilate". They need to be recharged and never eat and usually fly around in giant cubes.
There had been times that you could save a Cyberman, but only when they are in mid-upgrade while Borg is some-what easy. The person will regain their identity, but not everyone regains emotions, free from recharge, or breaks the local hive-mind. But usually this happens:
Makes me wonder if more of those ugly Borgs become super models when recovered.
"Hey, nerd! ...A lot of help here!" Rouge-V shouted as the Cybermen tried to grab his shoulder, "Don't tase me, bro!" He delivered a roundhouse kick to the Cyberman before giving another roundhouse to a couple of Borg ponies in midair, before landing on his head and kicking nearby foes with flaming feet while spinning on his head. He then got back on his feet and tossed some razor leaves before using iron tail. "I'm going to be the very best!"
"That no one ever was?" I asked, firing a charged shot that disabled five Cybermen and a Borg.
"Never mind. I'm a champion!"
"Because you're part DigiMon?" I asked on my back, grabbing a Borg with my legs and tossing her overhead into another pony Borg.
"I WILL AVENGE PANCAKES!!!" I rocket jumped off the ground so that Rouge-V could send a large wave of electricity through the metal in the room. Next thing I did was use a hook-shot to send me head first into the wall where I avoided the storm of flame that sent a wall of fire though the door I went through, burning the Zomby Pigmen and Creepers from Minecraft.
After taking some bacon, I ran through the melted door as the smoking yet unharmed Rouge-V followed me. He stopped me, using his psychic powers to take out the TF2 Snipers in the air vents. "This is the second time they did that!"
"How did you know they were there?!"
"I can't read minds, but I know what pee and Australian beer smells like." Rouge-V then turned to face a wall, "So remember kids: no drinking or driving!"
"Yeah... Talk to that wall... Teach it a lesson... (Audience: This guy is crazy. Don't talk to walls.)"
"I'm lost." Cortana said, cycling out our weapons as we walked to the door to this room as we beamed out the Snipers to be sent to prison.
After walking awhile, I asked Rouge-V, "Hey? Have you-"
"Its Equestria, everything is bigger on the inside. Not Time Lord technology, just magic."
"OK. "
"Did you just speak with an emoji?"
"He didn't. " Cortana replied. I fist bumped myself, seeing as me and Cortana are still fused.
"Initiating Headcanon!" I was balled up before being shot out of my arm canon. Time slowed as I regained my human form and broke out of synchronization as my normal armor covered me and my cross-fusion armor transformed into Cortana, who was sent to my ultimatrix. My hands were covered in drill weapons as I flew through Time-base Omnidroid, damaging him this time.
Go on, destroy me! You will get a far worse future! he typed as his body repaired itself.
"Its true. Also: we can't cross fuse in the building." Cortana informed, smirking. "That's why I'm going in. I will send his program back to a computer we can lock him in while you make sure he's finished."
"No! We go in together!" Before I could say more, Time-base tossed me in the air followed by sending me to a wall with his other arm.
"Youmademehungryforpancakesdie!!!" Rouge-V shouted as he began punching Time-base's head.
Fool! This isn't even my final form!
"Were you talking? No? I hear no objections."
Now I'm offended. Time-base transformed into a cybertronian with four clawed arms and six Omnidroid arms on his back. His head resembled a snail with the two Omnidroid heads as eyes. He picked Rouge-V off of him, a screen on his chest saying, For crimes against mutes: Die. He leaped into the air, chunking Rouge-V to the ground, but not before Rouge could hack into his systems for Cortana to enter with her and Fandom Man to send EeveeMon to his pokeball.
I sent EeveeMon back out with Shiny Shenron- a red and gold colored long dragon that resembled his Dragonball GT form. "What is your wish?" he asked, his gold eyes seemingly glaring at us as his deep voice boomed.
"We don't actually have one, I just want you to wrap yourself around Time-base."
"I will not, but I will warn you of Crono-Chrome. He's not supposed to be made yet!"
"I guess that counts as an unspoken wish! Return and I'll be sure to refill your gem supply!" I said as he flew back inside his pokeball instead of the usual laser effect.
From a nearby wall, a red robot walked out of the shadows... before the rest of him burst through the wall. He was a child size, detail-less robot with a screen for a face, showing waves every time he spoke. His armor flew around before attaching to him... which only made him look slightly bigger. "Oscar Conners."
"Your name. Who are you?"
His body began glowing as a black fog seeped out of him before being sucked back in. When we got a clear view of him, we saw a red robot Eevee Mon and me, "I am your executioner."
Eevee Mon didn't have time to react when he noticed his copy, the 'Eevee Bot' sending him to the next room with a punch in break neck speeds. That got me distracted long enough for him to stab me through the chest with his Sword of the Storm copy.
"Oscar!" "Oscar!"
"...That was close." I said in a monotone drone voice. I hopped out of my armor as DJ Echo, but kept my hand on part of it so that it would be sent to my inventory like it just did. "My turn. Team Random, hook me up!"
"Ya got it, partner!" Fandomcord shouted from the ultimatrix.
"Just spin it already!" Mask exclaimed.
I grew into a fat human with a higher intelligence. I felt some metal pack of some sort fuse with my back as four long metal... tentacles with claws? "Doc OC? Seriously?!" I shouted in a slightly gruff voice. One of my arms quickly grabbed Chrono-Chrome's sword.
Number One sat near the make shift prison, waiting for another truck to roll the trailer away. He was about to enjoy a juice box when an explosion tossed the soldiers around him to the ground yet he slid a foot away. Looking over, he saw a completely red Fandom Man chasing a white unicorn that would retaliate with gems.
"Rarity?! Why am I Rarity?!" I shouted as I ran away. ...While also had the nagging feeling to stay away from dirt patches.
"The ultimatrix is stuck on shuffle." Q stated, "I would fix it- Actually no."
I flashed green again, turning into a Grey Matter-Celestia hybrid as I unroyally face planted. Getting up, I realized I had a wingspan that could wrap around me twice and a flowing gold aura around my hands. My new found genius would never be matched!
...I simply cut off his antennae.
The body fell and struggled to get up. I floated over to him, arms crossed, "The mighty has fallen." I said in my tiny voice.
"Psych." He grabbed me with both hands, but he couldn't hold my wings. With the power of the sun at my disposal, I flew us straight up into the air. He finally let go of me, gaining dragon wings as he began firing at my wings with twin machine guns.
As I fell, I noticed Time-base was being drawn out with the Crono-Chrome Eevee Mon Robot hooked up to it as the Omnidroid body staggered. I would've thought it was drunk, but I was falling from the sky.
I began to change as my wings disappeared and my body grew to a ball-like shape. I noticed that I was yellow, fat, had bear arms, and elephant legs... the underwear tipped it off until I glowed again, gaining white jeans, brown boots, and a green plaid sweater. Brown fur grew on me as white glasses materialized. "Huh, The Worst and Trenderhoof. Odd mix and still can't fly." I commented in the pony's voice. I crossed my arms and waited for my landing, which happened pretty quick. My eyebrow rose as a though occurred to me, "OK, when did I meet Trenderhoof? Off topic."
"Hey ugly, we have bad news." Rouge called through the ultimatrix on my belt.
"What's your deal?"
"I'm trying to pilot this thing, but I don't have much controls. Cortana is fighting a swarm of Crono-Chrome programs."
"Well, my watch is on shuffle." That was when I transformed again into a Scootaloo-Chicken Little mix.
I fixed my glasses as I watched Crono-Chrome dive towards me. Luckily, I had a scooter and a backpack full of gear. I quickly built a ramp out the debree and Lego bricks on the ground, shook my soda pack and drove up the ramp in time... to break my scooter at his head and realize that I'm more vulnerable to falling. "Stupid chicken."
My orange arm wings flared as new rage filled me. "Nopony calls me chicken..."
"Action in 3... 2... 1..." FandomPool informed the readers.
I transformed again, turning into a Big Mac-Wreck It Ralph mix, "Eeyup! I'M GONNA WRECK YA'LL!" I broke the soda pack, falling back towards the ground with my fist pointed down and I flew straight through the robot... but something felt off.
Rolling to the ground, I heard evil laughter as he repaired himself. I was booted back to my normal form, but without my armor, and the ultimatrix gaining serious static. "You fool! You just gave me the power of a GOD!" He continued to laugh as he floated towards Time-base. "Your fights with the princesses in their prime, gave me what I need from Luna to create the Nightmare Moon DNA. You ran past Sombra in the Chrystal Empire twice. Attempted to fight Discord at a time where you forgot your training. You unwittingly scanned multiple changelings, allowing me to isolate their Queens genes. ...It might be useful."
I tried activating my armor, but nothing was responding- Not even Q!
"Great, who turned out the lights?!" Discord asked. His only response was the echoing of his voice. "That doesn't sound good."
Once the robot bodies merged, Rouge was forced to DNA Digivolve with Eevee Mon again, who limped over to the army.
Number One and General Elmo began shouting commands, but everything was in vain for every possible command was already known and he was ready. Time travelers cheat that way.
We watched in hesitation as the robots changed shape until it resembled something creepy. A giant spider with wings... and a four armed top half of a muscular person, his bottom arms had arm cannons at the end.
I felt a buzzing, surprised to find my backpack on me. I took out a Copybot head that took Cortana's form. "Well, I'm a head. Great..."
"I can't stay long. If this body doesn't chow down soon, Rouge might be deleted!" Rouge-V explained, flying off. "I will return!"
"Kneel before me, peasants!"
Looking around, we saw the cowards among us do as he said, except for a few of us. I searched my bag, taking out my omnitrix. I switched the cores out, since the ultimatrix's body wasn't coming off soon. My data cloud was disconnected, giving me the default settings, which were now mostly useless without my armor.
"Bad news: we can't merge under these circumstances. Nor can we summon-" Cortana was cut off by the sound of an engine as the delorean fell from the sky, ramming Crono-Chrome. The robot body he resided in stumbled for a bit before its time energy unwittingly healed the car as it stopped in front of me.
I got out of the delorean, yelling at my past self, "This is a time loop! Drop your bag and switch with me!" Past me didn't question anything as he took the wheel and drove off. I picked up my backpack, lucky to avoid a red laser in the meantime.
"You really think you can stop me?!" Crono-Chrome shouted. "I can see all of time and space and you think you can stop me!"
"Tell me, C.C., what will happen in a minute? I have ten random forms and took a time machine to anywhere. Predict my future, fortune teller!" I challenged, my arms back in a "come at me bro" stance.
"Fool! In a minute from now-" he had all guns trained on me as he spoke, only to pause and slump as a familiar introduction video appeared on his screen. "My Little Pony. My Little Pony. Ahhh~ My little pony, I used to wonder what friendship could be...." he continued singing in his monotone voice as the theme played.
"What's going on?"
I held Cortana's head and kissed her forehead, "Simple. I created Time-base to predict twelve hours and further into the future to help ponies when they were ready, but some Displaced found him first. He was modified to be the protector of those he chose needed it most."
Number One caught the conversation, his eyebrow rising above his shades, "Hold on. You created Time-base?"
"Long story involving a time loop and temporary amnesia. Anyway, I programmed Tim-bass with the 'intro' protocol, preventing him from cheating at card games. He also has a mute-negative function. That's why he's been speaking in text." I explained as Cortana shared a look with Mr. Uno... I think. His shades...
"His security is down! Is that another protocol?"
"I had a Mighty No. 9 program, who created a passcode that I implanted into you one night. I set a timer for Mighty's program to activate." Cortana left the Copybot, grabbing my data cloud and returning it as I switched back to the ultimatrix core. The static cleared, showing a bright blue screen. "Program 9."
"Code excepted. Reinstalling data cloud and attaching upgrades." the ultimatrix droned.
I took the full body Copybot out of my inventory as Cortana took control of it. She flashed me a thumbs up as I activated my armor. Taking a running start, the silver metal covered my legs as my dash soles thrust me forward, the armor climbing up me as I pulled my right hand back, making it the last covered part of me. Crono-Chrome became reactive as my fist tore his sword arm off.
"Yo, buddy! I'm armed! haha!" I waved his arm, the sword in its grip. I tossed it back at him, impaling his chest. The silver shine of my armor wore off as Mighty inserted himself into Time-base.
"Good bye, master." The only tears were from me as I remembered the days we spent together, preparing for this day. We saluted each other as the robot fell apart.
"Program 9 integrated. Adding silver mode."
Everyone stared, obviously confused at the scene. ...Except for two time travelers. They knew that once Time-base returned to normal that there was going to be a month of uncertainty. For now, they just shook their head at the misuse of time travel to solve problems.
I woke up this morning with a feeling of being crushed. The reason?
*Knock Knock BANG*
A metal pink fist made its way past my door. When it retracted, a blue lens used the hole as a peephole. "Hey Fandom Man, its me, Pinkie-Bot! Can you tell the author to write about us again?"
"What?" was all I could say, being stuck in some sort of closet.
"EQG-5, focus." Twilight's voice droned from a distance.
"Oh yeah, we're experiencing a power outage currently and a dimentional shift. Hope you locked your doors because every closet and apartment has been swapped! We are resolving the problem faster than rising yeast." Pinkie-bot stood there, "Do you need help? You look stuck."
"Yes, that would be-" "EQG-5! We don't have all day!" Twi-bot scolded over my voice.
"Sorry, have to roll!"
"Yeah... I'm just going to hope I don't pass out."
I sat at my couch, enjoying a bowl of cereal, "Saddleday morning cartoons. huh."
*SLAM!*
I looked up, wincing as I prepared for my neighbors weekly argument.
"Trevor, you have to do something about our son!" a female voice shouted.
"What's going on?" the familiar voice of Tigger asked.
"He tried your super duper bounce thing off the roof."
"Kanga, what can I do?"
"...Just teach him how to bounce."
"How?! I'm a tigger and you're both kangaroos! I don't know the first thing on kangaroo bouncing." There was a pause before asked, "He actually tried to do the super duper uper ally upper bounce?" A longer pause.
"Well if you're going to check on him, hurry! He might-"
I stopped listening as soon as a small kangaroo in a blue shirt burst through my door, ricocheting off everything and wrecking my apartment around me. With reflexes from nowhere, I caught the little guy and Rouge flew him upstairs where I followed the normal way.
"Can you believe these people will notice my gear, but for get me?!" I cycled through my armor's elements and attributes before cycling my extra gear from animal armor and pony disguise to my ultimatrix and duel disk, "It takes the three of us to be this awesome."
"Calibration complete. So, any bad guys to face?"
"Sadly no. Number One returned to his time and General Elmo is not returning my calls."
"What about Mew?"
"He's got this delivery covered."
"In Our Town, in Our Town~ -what the hay is that?!" a voice cut off the Our Town anthem as everyone resynced to prevent their neighbor from being sent to the box. All the equality ponies looked to the left before running into their homes.
Starlight Glimmer narrowed her eyes, "So, they're back." Her eyes widened, seeing what was behind Mew and Cyborg Mew Two, retreating to her house. Sadly, she was too late as she saw nothing but Bison as far as the eye can see.
'Just seeing them free almost brings a tear to my eye.' Mew Two thought from their hiding rock.
'Let's grab the guy and go before we lose track of him!' Mew thought back.
The sound of rapid patting woke Cortana from her nap inside the charging Copybot, she activated, walking into the living room, her eyebrow rose, "What are you doing?"
"It's not what you think!" I yelled.
Next to me, Eevee Mon screamed, "More power! More power!!"
"It looks like you're watching a little kid show."
Everyone's direction turned to the screen, there was a live stream of Little Einstein Displaced in Star Trek uniforms, rapidly patting their laps to power their ship. "Captain, we're being pulled in," a black haired girl said, patting her seat.
A red haired boy in glasses grimaced, "To our viewers on Equus, pat faster or harder. WE NEED POWER!"
A blonde haired girl patted her lap as fast as she could, panting while she reported, "Black...hole appr...approaching... CAPTAIN!"
The group was quickly tiring and their big red rocket ship was doomed.
I transformed into Fast Track, rapidly patting my lap as hard as I could. Power quickly gained as they were almost leaving the black hole's pull, on their way back home. They've gone too far in their mission to have a black hole keep them from their needed R&R.
Suddenly, my door was kicked off its hinges and fell. Standing in the door way was a grey man with small candy-corn colored horns poking out of his messy hair. He barred fangs as his yellow eyes met my glowing blue. From the gray '69' on his black sweater, I instantly recognized him as a Homestuck Troll variant. Either Karkat or-
"STOP STEALING THE FLIPPING INTERNET, MAGGOT WASTE!" he shouted, stabbing my TV and cutting my cable cords, and finishing insult with injury by destroying my PlayStable, using my XBON 360 and JoyBoy WiiU as boxing gloves. "Go play a board game or some crap." He casually walked off as if nothing happened.
Eevee Mon took out his phone- don't ask. We returned to the Live Stream in time for the Little Einsteins to be sucked into the black hole, their feed cutting off into static.
"M-more t-tea, you sick fr- master?" The singed troll in a maid's dress offered.
"Why, yes, Mr. Vantas." I said in a terrible British accent that almost sounded Russian to me. "But, I want you to get it from La Chowda."
"Um... They don't serve tea." Rouge entered the room in an executioner's robe and a whip. "B- but I can t-try!"
"Good boy." Rouge commented as he ran out the recently repaired door.
Eevana- Cortana and Eevee DNA Digivolution -looked up from her book, using her antennas to fix her glasses. "I'm beginning to think you two are over doing this a tad." Flipping a page she shrugged, "Not my problem."
Hours later, I had to let Karkat go. Luckily, Rouge decided to keep her whip to scare off any future attempt at destroying my things... so he won't be returning soon.
Covering my destroyed technology and consoles as well as sipping a 'Half n Half' on occasion, I took the form of Upgrade to fix my tech and would switch to Grey Matter to safely drink my tea while going over some plans of mine. "If I put memory storage here and disk lasers here then... combine the power conduits... Too much power? Naw. I'll just add this PC since I have a desktop, the fans will cool the heat better with vents here and here. Wires. Too many wires- Maybe not."
For those of you who forgot: Upgrade is an alien that can make technology better by merging with it and has proven to do so after contact, so repairing this stuff is a synch. Grey Matter is a tiny genius the size of a fist and has been confused as a tiny, grey, humanoid frog.
With these two forms, I'm going to create a master console! Sort of Logitech combining the PlayStation and XBOX 360 controller layout and style for their own PC gaming controller.
When I was done... I got something with an odd design. I could play all my games on the touchpad and somehow combined all versions of the same game into one.
FAND0M signing in...
Playing "Fighting is Magic for PlayBon WiiU.PC"...
ERROR.
Error Corrected.
After reverting to normal and picking up my XBON controller, I turned to Eevee Mon. "Wanna play?"
"I'm good."
"Your loss," I said, taking the Ninja Sash from my Shen Gong Wu folder in my inventory and tying it to my waste. "Ninja Sash!" Instantly there was two me's, Player 2 grabbed the touchpad as we began.
Our nearly identical Minotaur Avatar sprites were selected.
Player 1: Fan M0n, Bulk, and Fluttershy.
Player 2: 0C , Celestia, and Rarity.
The stage: Tirek's Downfall.
In the background, Tirek spread his arms wide.
A tiny Twilight flew at him head-on, suddenly turning the field into a wreck. And they began to fight in the background.
I'm glad ponies don't have PC.
In front of the wrecked Golden Oaks library, two odd looking minotaurs walked into view.
"My friends give me strength," Fan M0n said, unsheathing his twin swords.
"All your base are belong to us," 0C monotone before laughing and cocking his shotgun. "Prepare to die!"
"Discord here, Lord of Chaos. Let's have a clean fight- Who am I kidding! 3, B, turnip... GO!" Our avatars collided with each other... Only, Fan M0n was taking damage from the shotgun. When he got too close, 0C stunned him before activating Rarity's gem shield and Celestia's Power Up. "The shotgun is now a divine weapon! Solar Flare Rifle! tsk. Predictable," the Discord program said.
There was no items on the map, so there was a disadvantage for both players. Luckily, they still had a full team and gauge was on.
"Not a Snowflake Activated, Fluttershy in Play, Manticore summoned!" Discord announced as a super buff Fan M0n was replaced by a muscular Fluttershy on steroids and a manticore that distracted 0C, who had enough charged energy to stop the creature, but not the Angel toss.
Fluttershy galloped to 0C, the ground cracking as critters appeared behind her. She stuck porcupines on 0C, taking out his diamond shield, and allowing a bunny stampede and bear claw combo to hit him.
In another tag out Fan M0n attempted to punt 0C off screen, but Celestia assisted him with Monarch Launch, a move originally made for only Shining Armor and a Princess. It was half as powerful, but knockback was still there as 0C switched to a dual pistol type. "Go, UV rays!" he shouted as he unloaded almost a whole round of lasers into Fan Mon.
Luckily, playing as Fluttershy gained some gauge points. "Rage Quit!!!" he shouted, his body burning as his swords changed into twin flame throwers. +10 Fire and Sun. In that temporary super form, 0C was knocked off stage and his meter dropped a bar.
Celestia landed onto the stage, her wings flared. "I will not fall to the likes of you!"
"Player 2 is down to two ponies!" Discord announced. There was some noise before he spoke, "Apparently, I have to keep doing this. Where is that script?"
After some time, the game ended with Player 2's the Celestia winner. When the two me's returned to one, I self loathed myself with a passion that soon died down to neutrality.
"Night time, Oscar." Cortana reported, checking on our pokemon and sending Cyborg Mew Two to his pokeball. "Are you going to sleep like normal or change settings?"
"Nothing stuffed, alone, light armor, comforter, water on the side, and a snuggie. Set the room temp. to a cool temp with fans on and audible," I commanded, Cortana keeping up with that order.
"Wow, you really know what you want." Rouge commented, "Are you sure you don't want a fully charged Copybot to warm you up instead of a comforter~?"
"Replace comforter and snuggie with a sleeping bag and a pillow fort."
"Got it."
"Well you're no fun."
"And you're starting to creep me out and now you have a whip to complete the effect," I stated calmly.
For those of you that skipped "ACT 2 PART 3", read it then check the author's note. If you did, you can reread if you wish, but check the author's note for the chapter to make more sense.
This message might not self destruct. ...I think. I fell asleep last chapter so my head feels numb.
I assume its always numb.
The point here is:
Click The Link There.
This is also a thing you can skip. Like a commercial.
"So remind me again," a white unicorn with a flame styled mane and box hooves began, "Why are we cruising on a dirt road, again?"
Inside the Mach 6, an immortal teen in white armor drove with an anthro Eevee and a white unicorn on a dirt road. "Box, some idiot stole Cortana and half of Rouge. Currently, I have a boring bat lady that can't hack into anything nor accept voice commands!"
"I don't know what you mean by "Korean eye have bad lady hat can pack into anything or receipt voice demands." Do you want to search the internet for "Korean eye have bad-"
"No."
"Calling Rafiki."
"NO."
A deep voice chirped on the ultimatrix, "Pride Land Dojo, Mr. Rafiki isn't here. Can you leave a message?"
"I'm having a malfunction Kratos, hang up." I replied.
"No malware detected. Sending Trojan Horse to Princess Luna."
"Deny!" I screamed.
"Calling Rafiki."
"Pride Land Dojo-"
"Hang up, Kratos." I replied.
"Have you tried turning your computer off and on?"
Box placed a hoof on the ultimatrix, its light flashing green for a moment. "Good goodness, that was close!" Box's voice exclaimed.
"Virus Detected."
"Huh. Rouge.EXE stopped working." The white earth stallion on my scouter gave me a salute, "TinyBox.EXE reporting for temporary duty!"
Box gave a smirk, picking the map back up, "Knowing you, I created Tiny to combat you when you returned."
"But, Celestia isn't angry at you. Rainbows and Sunshine." Tiny replied, rolling his box hoof. Tiny resembled Box, but instead of blue eyes and red mane he had red eyes and a mane that seemed to be made of blue cyber fire. "Anyway- Is that a cross fusion matrix?!"
"Don't destroy anything."
We stopped at a pub, walking inside and passing the tables and pool tables around us.
Sitting at the bar, a small tan girl in a pink shirt and orange shorts sat with a dancing purple backpack unloading a bag of bits. We sat at her sides as she placed the bag on her back. I assumed she had a shot, since she held a shot glass with an ice cube before she happily shouted, "OK. We need to count five bits to pay for the apple juice! Uno... Dos... Tres..."
As she counted, the coins magically left the small sack and landed on the counter. The three of us shared a glance before focusing on Dora.
"...Seis! Remember, leave a tip!" her attention was drawn to me, "Oh hi! Are you Fandom Man?"
"...Yes? Si?"
"Great! We need to find Sniper and return your friends!"
"Yeah... We've got no time to lose!" We hopped to our feet, only for the bar tending pony to stop us.
"You three ain't leavin', bub. Buy someting first," he said.
Dora looked at the readers, "I'm going to beat this guy up! Yell "Ponche" real loud!" She grabbed the unicorn by his horn and pulled him in for a headlock, rapidly punching his in the face with an innocent smile. "Ponche! Ponche! Ponche! Ponche!!"
He staggered back, trying to process the situation. He then broke the nearest bottle as a weapon.
Dora got up, "Let's finish him! Stand up now and yell "patada giratoria" as loud as you can!" She ran up, closing the distance as her leg rose, "Patada Giratoria!" He fell to the ground, moaning as Dora looked back at you. "Great!"
Eevee Mon looked over to me, "Apple juice?"
I gave a nod at him, "Apple cider."
"Come on, vaminos~! Everybody, let's go~!" Dora sang for the millionth time in her looping song. She suddenly stopped to ask the readers, "Dónde está? Where's Sniper?"
There was a ping as a bullet flew past Dora's head. "Bloody wanker!"
"There he is!"
I kept swerving, trying to prevent the Sniper from getting a better shot. Dora treated this like a joyride while Box and Eevee Mon tried firing the Sniper, who rode on a jeep with two more. The red Sniper reloaded his gun, "This'll be a bloody Christmas miracle to down these buggers!"
"We are in the Bad Lands," Dora's map responded, "New directions added! Changeling Hive, Big Rock, Sniper Hideout! Changeling Hive-" [b]*POW!!!* "I'm the Map! I'm the Map!" he shouted as he ducked back inside Backpack's pocket.
Just as soon as Map hid, star began floating over our heads. Dora happily screamed, "Catch them! Catch them! Catch them!"
Everyone grabbed stars, even the Snipers, though their stars were given to Dora.
"Explorer Star! Arma culo grande Star!" she cheered. The stars flew into Dora's star pocket, laughing as a huge star that resembled a colt revolver on each point hovered around Dora, a crazed smile on its face. Before the star could do anything, the Sniper's jeep collided with a dead tree and I had to grab the wheel and maneuver around cacti. "Everyone yell "auge"!"
We shrugged, "AUGE!"
Arma culo grande Star gave a wicked laugh as it fired a large bullet in the distance. A small mushroom cloud exploded behind us, I saw it on the rear view mirror before looking back at Dora, who wore a pair of shades. "Sniper no sniping."
"'Big Rock'?! Where is that?!" Box asked Dora's map.
He responded by being a map, showing lines and three images. A Changeling Hive- which changed to a destroyed one which included Dora's dormant warhead- that resembled a black hill, a rock, and a red facility that was rusted in places.
Dora looked over to the readers, "Qué estúpido es este caballo? Can you tell us where the tonelada de mierda Big Rock is located?"
"¡Gracias! Acerca maldita vez! There it is!" Dora shouted. Everyone turned their attention to the giant blue arrow on a mountain.
Tiny activated my scouter's zoom function, allowing me to see a large rock with some sleds on the mountain. "Well, this would be an easy drive, but the Mach 6 has a flat."
"No me digas genio! I think I can help!" Dora shouted, tossing her bag into the air.
Three of us scrambled under the race car before realizing she was just taking something out of her bag.
Her bag was replaced with Diego's rescue pack, who looked slightly nervous. "R-Rescue Pack, comin' to the rescue!"
"I am so glad I have this pegasus mode!" TinEevee said, flying as hard as he could with me and Box in our own flying forms. He looked like a baby version of Eevee Mon, but had white and grey fur with blue flames on his paws and on in head in a Mohawk fashion. I was currently Big Chill while Box was a pegacorn- mutation mistaken for alicorn ascension common in Manehattan.
Behind us, Dora turn Rescue pack into a jet pack while Arma culo grande Explorer Star flew in front of her. "¡Más rápido! ¡Más rápido! ¡Más rápido! ¡Más rápido! ¡Más rápido! ¡Más rápido!"
"We're going! We're going!"
"Calling Rafiki."
"Hang up!" I shouted in a ghostly voice that resembled a whisper as Kratos picked up.
"Oscar Conners?" Rafiki responded for once. "What's going on?"
"I'm being chased by an insane Dora the Explorer who's supposed to be leading me to Cortana."
He mumbled in response before replying, "Beware, young one. You're dealing with Dora the Executioner, who brought one of Luna's guards out of duty years ago. If you fighter, know that she is invincible when talking to the 'children'."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"¡Más rápido!" Dora shouted as Arma culo grande opened fire on my left arm.
Luckily, being Big Chill, it flew through me, "Gotta go, bye."
"Huh, this really is a big rock." TinEevee commented as his wings vanished. If I wasn't immune to the ice around me, I wouldn't have heard him. His direction turned to Dora, "So, why are we here?"
"We're going to save Cortana!" she replied cheerfully.
Box raised an eyebrow, "Couldn't we go around the mountain?"
The Map poked his head out, "The Sniper's Base is in the direction we came from!"
"Then why are we here?!" TinEevee exclaimed, his arms rose in a dramatic effect.
Dora dropped her bag from its perch on her arm, "Wand!" The backpack did its musical routine before Dora got her magic stick, aiming at TinEevee. "Avada Kedavra!"
A green bolt of lightning shot as the digimon hybrid, before the bolt dispersed, revealing an energy shield for a brief moment. TinEevee summoned his wings, taking to the sky as he charged a fireball that was swiftly put out by the wind. "Well, this sucks."
I flew over to Dora, "Halt, I am Dragonborn! Diin!" I breathed as Dora's time froze, though I was expecting ice to be involved. Luckily, being Big Chill also meant that I could freeze her in a block of ice, which is what I did.
I smirked at my work, when suddenly a thick blue arrow hovered over to Dora and broke the ice with a click before disappearing.
"Fid fahdon wah tolaan nizaag ahrk daan dii paal!" I shouted. Everyone began to glow as we were sent to anywhere, but here.
For some reason I was back in my normal form and was breathing hard. On my scouter, a medical warning against using my thu'um flashed.
I wiped the sweat off my face, taking off my helmet and place it back on for a brief cool down. To be honest, it didn't help much with the sea of people around me. Where was I?!
"Need a drink, kid?" an old man's voice asked.
I turned to what looked like a prop stand, shrugging as I took the water bottle. "Thank you, sir."
The Resident Evil Merchant flashed me a thumbs up, "Nice costume, now get back in there!"
"What?!" I asked as he shoved a pokeball into my hands, causing my world to fade. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
"-UUUUuuuudge?" I looked around to see a red and silver building with the aura of Australia around it. My head still throbbed as I stared at it, "Huh, this must be it."
I looked at the pokeball in my hand, tossing it. ...Nothing happened.
"Well, look who joined us!" TinEevee exclaimed over a campfire with a roasting pony shaped marshmallow. He sat next to Box, who tossed multicolored folders into the fire. "I took out the guards and Box went petty mission hopping from Twilight's tree to my location!"
Sending the pokeball to my inventory, I decided to join them... "Box, why do you have a blue paw on your face?"
He rolled his eyes before waving his hoof, "I got in a fight with some snake-crab monster. Took me off guard, but the elements stopped him."
"I'm pretty sure crabs don't have paws."
"It's a thing that happened, let's move on." he replied, summoning a phoenix from a blocky pokeball. "P. Wright, scout the area."
The phoenix gave a nod, flying up. P. Wright went down suddenly, revealing to be shot when Box caught him in his unicorn form's red aura.
He returned the phoenix to its pokeball as another shot flew past my head. My body took a brown color change as I lifted the sand around us as a shield before compacting it- magic, I guess -and sniping the Sniper, though all I did was cover his scope and goggles in sand, which gave Tiny enough time to unfuse with Eevee Mon and force me into a cross fusion sequence.
My armor was replaced with red leather with an arm canon covering my hand and white two shin high boots with wings covering my feet. I felt my head ponify as a helmet with a single horn covered my head. A pack and breastplate formed around my torso as the pack turned out to be a running engine to support the huge metal arm that armored my right arm.
"Sniper Mode." I said, jumping high into the air as I hovered, resting my arm canon that grew a smaller and longer barrel with a scope on top in my large hand to steady. The Sniper finally got his gear working, but nearly dropped his gun when he saw me. "Target Acquired." I fired two shots, stunning him and destroying his gun. "Huh, sniping is too easy."
Box replaced his horn for wings, grabbing Eevee Mon as they took to the sky and followed me inside the facility.
"Quake Punch!" the ground shook beneath everyone's feet as I punched the ground. While the Red Snipers prepared their guns, I let Tiny leave me to hack their computers, leaving my casual wear to defend me. Luckily, Box created a shield in front of me as my armor formed over my body.
After a few test punches, I activated my animal powers within my armor to grab a couple Snipers through a wall and take their guns before transforming into DJ Echo Echo and split in two to use both guns. We tossed the guns away, making more of ourselves as all the Echos stood in the sound canon formation, sending a wave of screeching that broke all the glass in the hallway.
Suddenly, one Echo was shot from behind with a dart, causing the others to watch in fear as his body convulsed into the style of a Sniper. His techno monotone even sounded Australian as he shouted, "Oi mates, resistance is futile!"
"He's not a part of us," one Echo said.
"Kill him!"
"Would that count as suicide?"
Sniper DJ Echo frowned, "Aw, screw you wankers!" As he brought up his gun, one Echo's life flashed before his eyes...
(Many Years Ago...)
“Hey Cortana, can sound be used as a weapon?” I asked one morning in a random forest, eating the last of the beef jerky in my backpack, which was burnt and full of patches from constant repair.
My Omnitrix flashed as Cortana droned, “Affirmative.”
“How does it work?”
“Running trial… Trial failed. Searching for substitute.”
“I’m guessing its vibrations and frequency?” As soon as I said that, a white ipod fell into my hands.
"Hey wassup dude or dudette! This is Vinyl Scratch and if ya need some cool tunes or just wanna hang out and party then you found your gal! I ain’t too great at fighting so unless you just want a wicked bass cannon or something I wouldn't call me up for that. Later dudes!" I jumped as I heard the voice. I looked back at the ipod, letting it bounce it my head as the message started every time it landed.
After letting it finish, I unplugged the ear buds and gave it a shake. “Hello? A.I. in there?”
“Negative.” Cortana stated.
I got up, “Maybe it only activates in a dramatic manner?” I cleared my throat, “Vynal Scratch, activate! ...I want to learn about a ‘bass canon’?”
A few moments after I said that a blue portal appeared in front of me, and it seemed to thump to some sort of beat. A two toned blue haired girl wearing a backpack shot out of it and landed hard on her butt.
“Gah! That hurt!” She grumbled as she slowly stood up and rubbed the sore spot on her butt. She looked around in interest before the eyes behind those purple shades settled on me, “So… are you the guy that called me?”
Oscar tilted his head, “Yeah. So you’re an actual person?” He held up his hand, “Sorry, my name Oscar Conners the Great Fandom Man!”
She tilted her head in confusion, “Fandom Man? Sounds like a weird superhero name. And yeah, I’m an actual person.”
As I offered my hand to help her up, a yellow light slid down her before disappearing. “What the-”
I was cut off by a small speaker system coming out of my shoulder guard, as Cortana’s voice came out… with actual emotion.“Aww yeah! Speakers integrated, wub resonance downloaded, Cortana.EXE upgraded, and DJ PON3 DNA acquired! I feel amazing!"
Vinyl looked flabbergasted, “Wha- What the heck is up with that voice? It sounds like something I’d say... And what was with the light?”
I shrugged, “I honestly don’t know.”
“DNA scanner configured for multi-function scanning. Hey, Oscar, I just had the greatest idea!” she exclaimed in giddy excitement.
“Why do I have the sudden feeling of distrust?” I said while giving a slow nod. “What is it?”
My body glowed green as I transformed into a creature known as Echo Echo, a tiny white silicon alien with a green mouth and lined eyes. I shrunk, standing half the height of Vinyl. An aesthetic of this form was ears that resembled headphones, especially with the wires going back to a pack that resembled an MP3 player… though, this time things were different.
She crouched down a bit, smiled and said, “Well this is really weird, but you look kinda rad now. And… is that my hair?” She looked quizzically at me with one eyebrow raised.
Instead of cassette taped-looking things forming on my legs, small CDs formed. Two tone blue hair sprouted from my scalp and seemed to pulse with power as blue shades materialized and my “ears” became more rounded with a blue bar connecting above my head and every green part of me glowing a pulsing blue. The MP3 on my back transformed into a small speaker as the “wires” receded to the sides of my head before (didn’t know at the time) they flattened and became a music note design. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1coY0esrvLkXGNjLb7TLzLt4p93PpVoPBIEI1vK5vDDM/edit?usp=sharing
She stayed silent for a bit as she examined my new transformation. After a minute of staring she gave a small squeal and picked me up before squeezing me against her chest with a bone crushing force one wouldn’t expect she would have in that small frame. “Aww! You look like an alien version of me! Now you’re totally rad and cute now!”
“Wub levels stable. Combination is recorded and… How do you feel?”
In a tiny shrill monotone voice, I replied, “Well, glad I don’t need air now.” I struggled to get out of her grip when suddenly a clone fell on his head from under me.
“Ouch,” he got up, brushing himself off before letting out a squeal and pointed. “There’s two of me!”
“Yeah, now there’s more tiny ear aches running around,” Cortana stated bluntly, her voice coming from a blue disc attached to the center of both Echo’s chests. “...Looks like the cloud is stable as well.”
“Hmm... it sounds kinda weird hearing that voice from two different places at once.” Vinyl said, still keeping me in this deathlock of a hug. “But at least there are two little alien me’s hanging around now!”
The Echo in Vinyl’s grasp whispered, “Help… me.”
Ground Echo gave a nod as he multiplied into enough DJ Echos for Vinyl to crowd surf. One Echo sat near a tree, pondering aloud, “Hold on… Can we merge back?”
“Yes #245, you can merge with other Echos.” Cortana said from every Echo’s chest, coming out louder than expected. The Echos dropped Vinyl and began panicking at the noise, a few face palming.
“We’re dead?!”
“Can we die?!”
“Will everyone shut up!”
“What if we get a headache from remembering so many memories?!”
One Echo helped Vinyl back up, shaking his head, “I’m sorry about this. I’m an idiot.”
She put a hand to her mouth and giggled, “Hehe, don’t worry about it. This is kinda funny.”
Among the screaming Echos, one tripped on a root and turned into visible wubs that entered another Echo, who got even more freaked out and caused a chain reaction of Echos bumping literally into each other until there was five DJ Echos.
The four serious Echos got into a position where two Echos stood next to each other behind two Echos that were spaced out. Timing their attack right, they screamed combined sound waves at the Echo, sounding a little bit like Sonic the Hedgehog's original theme.
When the Echo collapsed, one of the remaining Echos pulled him into his body. “Wow, that actually sounded cool.” “Meh. Doesn’t sound bad, but how did we do that?” Another asked.
Vinyl shrugged and said, “Maybe you got some wub magic in you somehow and you managed to tap into it?”
The Echos looked between themselves two of them smacking their forehead, one saying, “Why didn’t we think of that?” The third Echo smacked another Echo, “Because we’re not the expert!”
Within an hour, Vinyl helped me control myself and my wubs… heck, I even helped her with some of her experiments. Some Echos had to be test subjects, but when you’re willing to be part guinea pig then fair is fair, but I can’t help but feel sorry for myself. Besides it could be worse. Instead of Vinyl Scratch it could be Twilight Sparkle and instead of Echo it could be Ditto- On second thought, Ditto isn’t made of sound.
Before long Vinyl had to leave.
Back in my normal form, I shook her hand, “It was great meeting you.”
She smiled and said, “Likewise. This was fun.”
The Echo smiled at the memory before one of his brothers punched his back, causing him to fire a counter wub at the Sniper DJ Echo.
"Focus," he chided. They spread out and with the Sniper Echo on their side he was able to use his new sniper rifle, taking tangos down before screaming at the air vents, and beat a far Sniper with his gun.
A grenade was tossed, killing a few Echos as Sniper Echo shouted, "Watch it, wanker! You could've shot my bloody head off!"
The Sniper with a grenade launcher lifted his head, "Blimey! Sorry, ma-"
*BLAM*
"I'm the king of Australia!" Sniper Echo shouted before pausing, and holstering his pistol, "Well, the closest thing to the great outback."
"Oscar, you've got mail. Should I read it?" Tiny asked, battling some viruses in his way. As he tossed a grenade, destroying a Trojan Horse, he got a multivoice response. "Hold it! One Oscar respond!"
"Sure, why not." A DJ Echo responded.
[Sniper form acquired.]
*Beep* "Hey Oscar, its Pinkiebot again! If I don't get another cameo, I'm going to create my own story with Black Jack and- What? Hooker died? I'm aware of the old joke. I'm not saying that, party pooper. What work? I'm going to create my own story with more displaced characters with me as the main character while Twibot or Rainbot tracks me down as a subplot!"
*Beep* "Pinkiebot again, thanks for not deleting my last voice mail! I'm holding off that threat, but it might happen! Bye!"
"What is that about?"
There was a collective groan before an explosion caused a collective scream. It was amusing and funny, yet annoying. Like a million robotic Maud Pies with high pitched voices were responding.
"You have a dragon?!" an Echo screamed from the ground.
From on top of Smaug's head, Dora gave out a cute laugh, "¡No estoy solo! Catch the stars!"
Stars of many colors dashed around as every DJ Echo as well as Dora and a few injured Snipers hanging from Smaug's maw reached out, grabbing stars. When the stars were caught, multiple Echos tried hanging on, but Dora was their master.
*Beep!* "It's Pinkiebot again-!" the message said, amplified by the numbers of struggling Echos holding stars or their brothers holding stars and so on, "There was a commenter on your story and I guess this counts as fan service..."
There was a long pause when suddenly the only DJ Echo not helping his brothers turned out to be a box as Solid Snake stood in its place, his smirk growing under his grey mustache as he aimed a sniper rifle- no doubt how he got it -and fired, taking out Dora. He gave a nod, informing us, "Colonel Sigmacipher and Private Pinkiebot- Oh god, that feels weird -gives their regards."
"..............I sent in an assassin. The childhood destroyer should be gone by now."
Once that was said, every explorer star ceased their pull, flying into each other and creating a black hole big enough to suck in Snake, Smaug, and the dead Dora before disappearing. The Echos were forced to merge into one Echo for safety, though I soon learned that I was now a Blue Sniper Echo instead of many DJs.
"Blimey!" I shouted, looking at the dragon once stood, "I wanted to kill that bugger!"
"OK, I'm back, but I have to go. I needed to use you as a catalyst for traveling until the black hole died." Tiny said, instantly healed from battle. "No prevent you from beating a dead horse- A four part dead horse -I'm going to make some slight changed."
"Like what?" I asked in my Australian monotone.
"For starters..." as he paused, I shifted back to DJ Echo Echo before going ultimate. "You should stay away from your Red Mann Co. Sniper form." My body grew taller as the hair stayed, sparking with power. My white silicon body became a metallic blue as four symmetrical spikes formed on the ultimatrix's ring an my voice became more robotic. Some sound disks formed all over me as white knee high boots grew on my legs and I gained a tail.
"I'm getting too old for this..." I stated as I hovered around. A piece of paper fell on my face before rolling back up and singing.
"I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the- what am I doing with my life?" Dora's Map said, falling to the ground.
"Map, Dora is dead and I own you." I spawned a sound disc to lift him off the ground at eye level, "We currently have bad blood so tell me: where's Box and Eevee Mon?"
Map looked up at me, tears in his eyes as a smile formed. He bounced onto my face, giving an equivalent of a hug before unrolling to show the most detailed 3D map of the building, showing a blue dot and three green, two were together while one seemed to be everywhere. "Now I'll show you your waypoint. Please don't tear me."
"Now that is some deus ex map!" I exclaimed as he showed a diamond now far from my location.
"You're joking."
"Afraid not, sir." Map replied, showing five diamonds on a map of Equestria. We're at one diamond which was a door we're at with instructions to the location of four keys that lead to a map of the six keys that were needed to unlock a door holding a key that unlocked the door we're standing at which includes twenty keys to get past a force field only Dora's explorer stars could go through.
Here's a quick run down, Dora is a crime boss with OCD leading her to make a base full of all snipers and other bases that guard our keys.
As soon as Eevee Mon and Box found us, Map gave them the rundown of our situation.
Box trotted up to the door, shrugging. "Simple, just place your sound discs at these weak hinges."
"We did abuse the WD-40 to prevent squeaking," Map reminisced. "...actually I have no good memories of Dora. She was a very bad word."
I tossed a few sound discs in a formation around the door, known in Ben 10 as 'Sonic Doom' and the Brony fandom as 'the Bass Canon'- "Let's spin this st! Sonic Bass Canon of Doom!" Blue lasers went straight through the doors as a shockwave followed, shaking everything away as the doors fell.
"You over did it, Conners!" Tiny screamed when the attack died down. My discs changed to a flower pattern before I gave a thumbs up to check the explosion size.
"Needs more lasers," I stated, lowering my head as everyone took cover. "IMA FIRIN' MA LASAR!!!"
"And that is how we all ended up in the hospital!" Eevee Mon finished.
Cortana was displayed on a monitor, arms crossed, "Yeah, there's a flaw in your story."
"How?" he replied, ears folded on his head, which was covered with the rest of his body in a body cast. Next to him, Oscar was in an identical body cast, but his face was covered and he had a straw to breath through.
The camera moved, showing the data world more as Tiny glared with a laughing Rouge on MUTE. "I was never there and neither was my supposed creator Box Hooves."
"Box and Lego Craft have no recollection of being apart, but the whole 'blue paw on Box's face' match the time, but-" Cortana stopped as a human Pinkie in a skin tight pink suit got online.
"Hey guys, I can access the wifi here!" Pinkiebot exclaimed, "Also, I can vouch for them. I sent Fandom Man and Eevee Mon to an abandoned amusement park. Turns out it wasn't so face and Oscar nearly lost his face in a cotton candy incident."
I let out a muffled scream in response as I kept listening.
"Well, you could say no. You didn't poop the party since it was a mad house to begin with so you can't be a partypooper!" She paused, her eyes flashing. "No Dora, Diego, Solid Snake, sexy stunt doubles, fluttertrees, puppies, stars, talking stars, or time lords were injured or killed at the making of this four-part arc!"
"Though Smaug was not a fan of this fic," Tiny added as the hospital shook.
Outside, Twilight Sparkle was having a fierce battle with "the fire and death" Smaug the dragon.
"Look, my guest room is in use and Box, Pinkie, and Discord doesn't want you and my guest meeting," Twilight began in front of her tree house with a sigh. "Its also too early for this."
"What?" I asked, checking a watch on my blue hoof. "Its only 4:50!"
"In the morning."
The unicorn and alicorn looked around, the blue and orange pony that is Oscar shrugged. "So what? You tried to start Winter Wrap Up at this time."
"I didn't have clocks in my house!" She paused, sighing, "How do you people know this stuff?! Nopony was around to about know that!"
"Are you aware of the multiverse theory?"
"Don't give me that! I'm seemingly an expert on it by now." There was a pause before another word was said. "Look, I have folders full of missions from Box and other anonymous sources-"
"Read them." I stated, a pile of documents between us. "Well, I'll see you later."
Twilight's ears perked up as she became significantly less grumpy-looking, "Hold on-"
"Sorry," I said, shifting from Italian Ice to Kowalski, my black gryphon form with yellow details. Imagine me looking like a panther and eagle while also looking like a penguin with a gold necklace. "My schedule is currently full! Tell Dash to meet me in Manehattan."
I flared my wings and 'pounced' the air, causing me to put too much force in my take off, but still have my needed speed.
A ginger boy with box legs peeked out of the doorway, "Twilight? What are you doing out here?"
"Get back inside Lego, I'm just sleep trotting."
le manehattan.
le derp hurn durn.
"DIE TROLL!!!" I shouted, taking out a whole town of memes in my saiyan form.
"Y U NO leave us alone?!"
"Y U NO stop infecting teh ponies?!" I charged my hands as I pushed my palms forwards, "Ka! Me! Ha! Me!" I pulled the ball of ki back and back in front of me, "Hadoken!" A large wave of blue covered in a brighter blue shot out, destroying nearly half of Derpville.
I was about to fire smaller lasers when a rainbow blur shot past me, taking out the Trolls and Pedo Bears behind me.
"Hello Princess, need some help?"
"Rainbow Blitz, did Dusk give you the message yet?" I asked, tossing a bit of ki to my left.
The blue stallion landed next to me, summoning his keyblade and somehow talking around it. "Said something about Manehattan in trouble and some magic mirror."
"Yeah-"
"LEEROY JENKINSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!" a barbaric Forever Alone screeched before falling on his face.
"These things can't beat us!" Rainbow boasted, firing a rainbow orb that expanded on impact before imploding with the memes in its trap.
"Challenge Excepted!" A stick figure shouted, cracking the ground he landed on.
"Careful Kara, he seems oddly strong."
"Stronger than me? Kara Conners the Fandom Fighter?" I asked, motioning the stick to- "Hey, come at me, bro!"
"Zoro, drop it. She has a thick head-"
Holding the stick in a head lock, I looked down at the ultimatrix on my belt, "Not cool, Shadow."
"Who are you talking to?!"
"Oh, so big boy can speak a full sentence." I won't tell you what I did because of the shock of somehow snapping the guy's neck.
Rainbow Blitz and a few MEMEs stood and stared at the bloodied mess behind me.
"I don't always run away, but when I do, its stuff like this," the most interesting man in the world stated.
And like some-sort of panel or scenery change, Manehattan was back to normal. Rainbow stared at me before it changed into a glare, getting in my face, "You killed him!"
"On accident, I assure you. He may have been seriously powerful somehow, but he had a weak neck. I didn't know!" I sighed, returning to my normal form then swiped my cape across his face, "We still have a magic mirror to find-"
"Found it," a new masculine voice shouted from above. Looking up, it was a saiyan in his super form, holding a mirror his height or maybe greater. "I'm surprised I didn't break it! Anyway, did Twilight send you two here in place of Rainbow Dash or what? Seriously, that mare is lazy sometimes and she's the only one that can perform a sonic rainboom, ya know?"
As soon as he touched the ground, his fist tapped a blue metal plate on his chest- "What the heck?!" I exclaimed in odd sync with Rainbow.
"Hi, I'm the Great Fandom Man," he said, quickly taking my hand and shaking it before placing the mirror back down. "Anyway, shall we head back to Ponyville and give the princess her mirror?"
Rainbow looked like a fish out of water before composing himself, "Princess? Since when is there a princess in ponyville? Who are you? Who's this Rainbow Dash?!Who the flying feather is Twilight?!"
"Cortana, time me," he said... into... a... white... ultimatrix.
"Kara, we're getting some odd reading off this guy," Zoro informed.
Shortly after- as if we were twin from the Shining -we both asked, "What odd readings?"
Shadow gave a low chuckle, "That confirms it. Kara, I really need to ask: Is it incest or-"
I cut Shadow off and this "Fandom Man" had the same reaction to whatever was talking to him, "Not cool! Why would you ask that?!/Don't ask that, Rouge!" OK, it was creepy at first, but seemingly broke sync.
"What? Its an honest question."
A familiar female voice replied, "Honesty can hurt sometimes." Shadow turned to a dark blue Navi, resembling Roll.EXE, but sounded like Cortana from Halo. "And honestly, I would like to invite you to my place so that it would save you the trouble of being pummeled here."
He gave a smirk, "What kind of pummeling?"
In breakneck speed, Shadow had a long sword through his torso, but that only lowered his overall HP before the ultimatrix healed him. "The kind that involves me and my counterpart deleting you and Rouge."
"Hold on, my counterpart is Rouge? Hot."
Cortana's blade died as her command chip expired, "You really want to die, don't you-"
"Lady/Dude, get out of my head!" The two Fandoms paused, "Stop it! The is getting very creepy/unnerving."
Rainbow returned, holding a stack of carrot dogs before eating one at a time slowly.
"Look, can we continue this at my place- or at least in its general direction?" Fandom Man offered.
"Sure. Why not? Let me guess, you live in a motel owned by Molly Mew?"
"Moe Mew- hold on."
"What?" Blitz asked between chewing his second to last carrot dog, his wings ready for flight.
"Who are the four royals here?" he asked.
I shared a glance with Rainbow before responding, "Five actually. Prince Solaris, Prince Artemis, Prince Bolero and his wife Gleaming Shield, and best pony Dusk Shine."
Fandom Man looked at the mirror, which revealed a confused mare that looked similar to Rainbow pushing on the other side of the mirror. Suddenly, part of the image seemed to shift downward and a corner was looking up at the pony from behind.
"I... suddenly think Sunset Shimmer was onto something."
"Who?" I asked.
"I don't know her gender swapped name, but its the bad guy from the first- ...um... Equestria Guys?"
"My Little Pony: Friendship is Alchemy: Equestria Men."
Fandom Fighter diverted her eyes for a moment until the video ended. "That... was weird. Ignoring the overly muscular and long haired Solar Flare, looks like your mirror is broken."
"You think?!" Rainbow Dash shouted from the other side of the mirror, her voice coming out in three different times and volumes.
Rainbow Blitz squinted at the portal, "Did she just hear us?!"
Dash took a step back, her back hoof standing on the mirror piece on the ground. "I swear, it wasn't me this time!"
Before the conversation could go further, loud squeaks and honks filled the air and one stallion shouted, "Oi mate, outta tha way!"
"Rainbow Dash, bring the mirror to Displopolis!" Fandom Man commanded, getting a salute in return. "And grab all of the pieces for good measure."
The video hologram was replaced with Zero's head, but blue appeared, "I hope you enjoyed your in-flight video because we suddenly have a whole library of this crap."
"You seriously have Zero as your Navi?" I asked, flying in my tamaranian form I got from the Starfire sisters. I had the mirror in my arm like a big nuclear football.
Being carried by Rainbow Blitz, Fandom Fighter was allowing him to fly faster with her wind attribute, "That's Zoro. An honorable fighter and hopeless romantic- or at least used to be."
"My Cortana looks like Roll.EXE."
"Light weight."
"She actually uses her looks as a tactical advantage. Guess how strong she really is!"
Both Rainbows rolled their eyes, stating, "They can hack a tank within five minutes?"
"Between 3.42 or 4 minutes." The both replied in sync. "Stop that. I won't unless you do.Are you kidding me?!"
Shadow and Rouge summoned their holograms to make kissing faces before vanishing.
"Rouge is stuck with me because of a dark pill paradox and a glitch. Shadow?"
She shrugged, "Similar, but instead of a glitch he claims that he was such a bad ass he decided to join me to avoid boredom."
The two of us looked down, "Wanna egg O.T. and send the Rainbows back to Ponyville?"
Mew gave a long sigh, "This isn't an Equestrian mirror portal, its Atlantian arcane science. In order to fix our side you must gather resources from your side and vise versa."
Both Rainbows weren't here, going home at this point so instead we had two tiny human Mews giving us instructions from both sides of the mirror portal. ...Still would prefer a Rainbow. Their EQG2 Rainbot seems cool.
"Who's idea was that?!" Fandom Fighter or Kara Conners, my female counterpart from this world, questioned.
"Atlantians," Molly, Moe Mew's counterpart, replied with her own sigh.
The two of us had to go alone... or relatively alone since we both have pokemon with us.
I wasn't known to be a good swimmer and turns out neither was Kara. It seemed that we've been standing on a beach, staring at the ocean in front of us while waiting for the other to make their move.
"Are you two there yet? You should be close by now."
"They're still on the beach," Cortana and Zoro stated, sighing.
The ground began to shake as Shia LeBeouf's head popped out of the water, "JUST DO IT!!!" He dived back down fast enough to avoid a rock, making it skip on the water's surface.
I rose my head to the sky, pointing a finger at the sun, "Monty Python GOD, stay out of this!"
"...Do I want to ask?" Kara asked, messing with her ultimatrix.
"They hate dialogue. So, what happened before your first cross fusion if that didn't happen?"
"Shoo Shoobie Doo? Should I really ask you?" I stated in my Siren Rip Jaws form... which has taken a new rainbow sheen under certain light.
Fandom Fighter took a mermaid form... though the twist was this:
"何？What?"
"Shoo Shoobie Doo! Translation is hard to do!"
"疑わしい。I doubt it. シャドウは何彼のプログラムで素晴らしいです。Shadow is amazing at what he programs."
"SHUT UP AND DO SOMETHING!!!" Shadow shouted, causing the ultimatrix acting as Kara's belt to vibrate.
"ファイン！愚か。Fine! Stupid."
"Heard that."
We swam... or dug in the water while flailing our tails... though the water until we spotted a dome in the distance with several... black... buses...?
"Shoo Doo Doo... This is getting really dumb now..."
"それでは、このクイックを終了させて... Let's finish this quick..."
I'm not sure what you call it, but the two of us looked like we were having seizures though we were mobile. What would've taken an easy ten minutes or less for a sea creature took longer for us, but we finally reached the border.
Two guards floated at the entrance, their spears pointed at us, "Halt! What is your purpose of business at a city that's supposed to be lost?!"
They looked like this, but without a crown and the staff looked like a weapon.
"Shoobie Shoo Shoo Shoob? Have you asked Celestia to be your goddess and princess?"
"私たちは、ミラーを固定するために誰かを探しています。We're looking for someone to fix our mirror."
Some guards came by, pulling us in as our escorts.
*Atlantian type Nick DNA acquired* both ultimatricies droned after scanning the guards, who were quick to pull out laser pistols- Hold on. If they have pistols then why are they guarding their "lost city" with spears?!
From where we entered, a series of explosions reigned as the other guards vaporized a school of fish with their spears in the similar form of a sniper rifle with a harpoon end. They high-fived each other, causing us to gulp.
"What did you do to us?!" One nearby guard shouted, taking out a pocket knife in his other hand... or fin. I don't know. The point stands, I'm going to assume switch blades are tasers here.
"私はあなたをどのように示しについて！How about I show you!" Fem me shouted, slamming her ultimatrix. She briefly returned to her normal form before a more magical "magical girl" sequence took over, seemingly freezing time as she was surrounded in green light and covered in pink swirls that pooled out of her ultimatrix. Her body shrunk in height as her armor turned a dark blue and her now bright blue nose extended. Her limbs thinned to an unbelieveable thickness and her torso was one with her head. Her eyes were bigger and matched as well as Discord's wings... or Eris' wings? I don't know. What?
Fem Discord might be Eris. It fits.
Anyway, she gained a tiny tail and orange hair that surrounded the glass revealing her brain. Her ultimatrix ring formed on her chest. Fandom Fighter's lips were bright red and pretty goofy if you ask me. Her shrill voice shrieked as she fell out of the sequence, waving her fingers. "I don't like this! Ew! Ew! Ew!"
"Shoobie, Doo Doo Doobie Doo Shoo. Cortana, keep that form locked away in the rejects section."
A comparison of our transformations, she had a magic girl transformation of green light and pink swirls while I had a simple transition with an uncontrolled light show of green light and blue hexagons. Our bodies shifted to red and yellow manta ray-like aliens with black lightning bolt-like stripes on our backs. Gills formed along our sides and two yellow horns formed.
I shifted position, "Yeah... we'd like some help in fixing a mirror portal. Do we need to ring for the king?" I asked, causing the guards to snap back in reality. "Um... hello? Ponyequivalenttoearth to Atlantians? Do we need a craftsman?"
There was a long silence before trumpets sounded and a red carpet unrolled towards then past us.
I rose an eyebrow to my female counterpart, "Are we going to question how we're breathing in this water and staying on the ground or why the King isn't helping me with my problem?"
The King here placed us in cages in his museum as "Shape Shifting Twins" leading to several green lasers destroying each cage in an attempt to escape. After nearly an hour as Jetray, we burned off more energy than realized, turning us back to normal... and not drowning. Since then we explained how we could transform... and still nothing was happening.
The King continue to beg for our "ultimate tricks watches" as an attraction while giving us a tour through the castle.
"I'm going to question the comb ice cream."
A blue hand on our chest stopped us, angered one of us, but stopped us nonetheless as the King spoke. "Next up we have the pony room!"
"Not surprising, seeing as we need more ponies in a pony fanfic." Shadow commented.
We were lead inside a room where... What. The. Goodness.
It was a literal room filled with Diamond Tiaras- the pony -and several party ponies bound to beds in many positions with either Atlantian hands squishing their faces or being hook up to machines that were shocking nerves in a way that contorted their faces-
I felt the gears spin in my head as I saw that face... I wasn't sure if I was laughing or screaming, but all that mattered was that an Atlantian punched me in the face.
The King smirked, "As I was saying, we knew that if we took a surface pony, another pony would notice. So we checked every doomed universe and took these pink ponies! They keep calling themselves Diamond Tiara, but Pinkie Pie can't hide from us! No matter what shape," he pointed to a Princess Cadence that had her face squished while chatting with a Party Favor, "...or size! Once we collect sufficient data, we will begin testing for 'Pinkie Sense' to help protect our city from Nemor or Aqua Man!"
"...Don't you mean Namor?"
"I think you're confusing him for my pet clown fish, Namo."
Fandom Fighter got between us, "Stopping geeking- or nerding. No clue. Anyway, we need material to fix a mirror portal."
The King turned his back, "I will help you... if you kill Atlantica's King." He turned to us, "There shall only be one sea king!"
"Left! So when- Left! -did we- Left! -become assassins? Left!" Fandom Man asked.
We were back in mermaid forms, but without any major additions... and since we can't swim, we had our arms over each other's shoulders and coordinating our tail movements.
We're can assume our systems are connected as the two glared at something... possibly each other?
The choir of sea ponies increased volume until a whirlpool of magic formed, pushing everything away instead of its supposed effect. When it ended, a muscular merman with a giant gold... fork? I don't know. He hovered above us with a beard so majestic, the sea ponies sang a harmonic tone as sunlight touched it. He wore a crown on his head with a face that wasn't so bright. "Intruders. Who dares invade Atlantica!"
"Hello!" I waved, freaking guy me out some.
"What is your names and business here?!"
Guy me sighed, "The Atlantians made a magic mirror I accidentally broke. My name is of no concern, but you may call me the Great Fandom Man!" He lifted his finger, pointing at the guy ten times our size with power to match, "Unless you can help me, we're forced to fight until you die!"
"And we do NOT want to do that!" I quickly added, nervously.
"Especially since the chances of us beating you isn't that good."
He twirled his trident and pointed the fork end at us. "I'm feeling harmonious today. I will fix your 'magic mirror' if you bring me the head of the king of Atlantis."
Guy me didn't take the new deal well. Instead of going crazy, he just floated there staring at the king with empty eyes. "Oscar...?"
"Ultimatrix. Alien X." I pushed myself away from there as he gained the form of a black humanoid alien. Three voices spoke as once, two Italian voices and Oscar's voice. "Setting up conference."
The world around us melted as we floated in a world of space and constellations. I was back in my normal form, behind me was my Alien X, but huge! My Alien X voices Peach and Daisy were with a Mario and Luigi head that floated in front of Oscar's Alien X form with Fandom Man himself in the center. With us, Atlantus' King and Atlantica's King floated at my sides.
All five voices shouted, "Connection established! We can either talk or battle, but here are some rules: No profanity! Keep it clean! The Kings don't fight each other at the risk of instant death, we see the first punch."
"Trident. Why am I not surprised?" King of Atlantis spoke through his teeth, trying to sound welcoming, but failed to hide the venom of his voice.
"Thy name is King Triton,Lord Royal Highness. Unfortunate name for your future as a dethroned tyrant."
"Triton? Seems fitting since you seemed to be a little pudgy."
Everyone looked at each other, brows rose. Triton patted his rock hard abs for counter evidence, "You were saying?"
Mario rolled his eyes, "This was a bad idea."
"Agreed," Daisy said, being my angry voice in Alien X like usual.
Peach sighed, "Now, now. Give them a chance at peace."
Luigi shouted, "Hold!" Before punches could be thrown, he added, "Remember the latest rule? If you two fight, its instant death for whoever throws the first punch. If you two were to fight, both Fandom warriors would either need to defeat one of you or you both of them in a test of strength... or something."
Oscar ran up to us, holding out the 'orb of torpedo', a Shen Gong Wu with the power to unleash a torrent of water on anything you wish. "This is the 'orb of tsunami', grab onto this and may the winner of this Xiaolin Showdown be the victor of the sea-"
All hands, including two extra hands made contact. "I am Aquaman, King of this world's Atlantis. I fight for peace with Triton!"
Next to him, Aqualad shrugged. His black hair flowed around him as he spoke, pointing a blue finger at Oscar, "I just want the orb."
Oscar gave this 'deer in the headlights' stare, "Alrighty then... Eevee Mon, go!" He tossed a pokeball up, summoning his Eevee Mon as I followed suit and allowed Shadow to merge with him. Eevee Mon and Black Arm made contact. "This is a clean fight. No armies, just any gear we own whether we have it now or not. The winner gets my orb of tsunami."
"Though, to keep the imbalance of Wu from shifting here, you must return his orb of torpedo-" I was cut off from my addition by Eevee Mon clearing his throat.
"Orb of torpedo? Seriously?"
"I admit, Warner Brothers had better names for them when Disney gave the rights-"
Fandom Man cut me off, "The point is that this is mostly a fight for superiority with assistance. If we win, Triton and L.R.H. make peace between their cities and hopefully land, but that part is optional." His gaze shifted to Aqualad, "I was thinking of going easy, but you raised the stakes. I am NOT losing my water element source."
All arms raised. Suddenly, Mario and Daisy shook the dreamscape on my signal, causing three hands plus my own to shift to my orb of torpedo, "Same rules, Shen Yi Bu Xiaolin Showdown! Gong Yi Tan Pai!!"
Click here for Fandom Man and Eevee Mon vs King Triton and Aquaman.
Click here for Fandom Fighter and Black Arm vs L.R.H. and Aqualad.
ACT 3.5 PART 3: Fandom Man and Eevee Mon vs King Triton and Aquaman.
To put it bluntly, I was caught off guard when a wall made of space separated me from my female counterpart. In all honesty, I want to see if our fighting style was different or similar... or the same.
I mean, she punched a guy on the beach into an umbrella that comically closed on the poor guy. Why? No clue. In fact, I think I stopped caring when Eevee Mon saved me from falling into a bottomless pit.
An image of several planets running into each other in a crumbling, fiery mess of rock filled our vision as our arena was forming. The water from the planets created a bubble and some stars made a sign that read "DEAD ZONE. YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS BEFORE YOU FALL IN A COMA-LIKE STATE AND LOSE." Above... or below... right side? Gravity is messed up, but the matter was that the orb of tsunami formed a frozen line that split the standing space in half, one red and one blue.
"Huh... I actually look good in red."
I looked up to see Eevee Mon in red ninja-like light armor... which has some spots on his limbs that were either based on changelings or crocs. I hope its not crocks.
"Oh sweet Poseidon! What is the meaning of this?!" I looked over to Aquaman and King Triton in blue armor of they're styles. Triton's armor reminded me of Shovel Knight without the helmet for some reason. "What is happening? What am I wearing?! Oh gods, are those croc leggings?!" The last on was directed towards Eevee Mon, who rolled his eyes.
I wore my usual armor, but the ultimatrix was the only window to show what power I'm using. The lights on me were replaced with red foam and metal. Alien X's hologram appeared on my ultimatrix, his double Italian voice informing, "To make things even, there will be no transformations in this fight. Good luck." It disappeared while I shrugged.
Aquaman got in a Shia Labouf poise, "Let's DO IT!!" before leaping off his rock into the field.
"Oh, be careful!" I warned in mock worry with my hand over my forehead and the other making a gun sign, "He'll shoot yer eye out!" I pushed myself off my rock as I took out a giant red scissor blade from my inventory.
Aquaman summoned his own trident to block my attack, swinging it around so I would block. What he didn't expect was the plasma pistol charging in my other hand. "I friggin' told you!"
He backed up as my laser missed and returned with a school of fish. It would've been easy, if it didn't block my view of King Triton's fist. The two sea kings began throwing rapid punches and kicks to me. Luckily, Eevee Mon backed me up...
Luckily, Eevee Mon backed me up...
LUCKILY, EEVEE MON BACKED ME UP...!
I gave a brief glance as a squid kept my partner out of the ring, numbers above his head showing his time out being a yellow 6 to a red 7.
"This is a challenge?" King Triton commented, chuckling.
Rage filled me as I saw that red 8... Eevee Mon's first Xiaolin Showdown will not end before it begins!
I caught their tridents, my fists glowing blue as I electrocuted them as followed up with a Falcon Punch to Triton. I tossed my arms to the side as I activated my duel disk and placed a card in place to summon my saiyan form. He nodded to me as he flew over and pulled the squid back into the arena, which tossed Eevee Mon, but not without resetting his out clock.
"Master, I can't go any further!" Saiyan me stated. I stuck my finger out of the bubble, allowing him to summon range, but restricting Squid Kirby's attack range as he distracted the two with his longer arms. "Master, I can't make it!"
I summoned Fandomcord, his card and body glowing as he updated his look. "Check it out! Two antlers, a unicorn horn, wolf claws, bigger bat wings, and kangaroo legs with a pouch to hide my rattling snake tail!" Before I can give a command, his bear-like face gave a grin, showing his fangs as he shouted, "Shia Labeouf, your on!"
Saiyan me screamed, "It's impossible! He's at a five and I can't keep up!"
Golden Shia Labeouf appeared out of nowhere, his long pony tail swaying in his aura. "NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!"
"Screw it! I am not going the Shia route the third time!" I charged up my fist as my armor turned grey and my ultimatrix light glowed a bright green behind the blazing red that charged to a raging blue. "Wind! Power! Falco Punch!"
In a short light speed shift in position, I caught up to Eevee Mon, grabbing my saiyan form who had the digi-pokemon in his grasp. I repeated the punch, a mighty ripple shook the field.
As soon as Eevee Mon was back to full attention, he lit his paws on fire and used his rapid decent's power to increase the power of his punch... but King Triton caught it. When he didn't expect was a fish fry.
"Holy Neptune!!! AHHHHHH!" While he grasped his hand, Eevee Mon used what psychic powers he had to make Triton punch himself with his burnt hand before almost getting knocked out by Aquaman.
"Fandomcord, do it!" I commanded, discarding Kirby and saiyan me as Fandomcord flopped around in Aquaman's face, seemingly immune to his stabbing.
"He's in my eyes!" Aquaman shouted.
Triton freed himself from Eevee Mon's grasp, using his trident to freeze Eevee Mon and feed him to the Kraken before riding the beast while swinging an anchor towards me, knocking me back and having Fandomcord's card fly off, but not too far to catch.
"Crap!" I shouted as Fandomcord disappeared, returning to his dull, charging card. I tried to find Q, but he would change his card to something different in each grab. "Speed! Water!"
"You gave up the water element Oscar! Try again."
"But I made a rule-"
"That came with a loophole. I'll grant speed, but you need something else."
I found myself inside a whale for some reason, but I'm Fandom Man. I don't play this-
"EEVEE MON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!" Alien X boomed.
"Electric!" My body turned yellow and I checked, my ultimatrix was already glowing red. I placed my hands on the whale, frying it from the inside-out before breaking through its spasming form and using my finger as a gun, firing electric bolts at Triton in seemingly slow motion... while nearly losing my arm to Aquaman. He swung again, "Wind!" ...The attack went through me without any damage.
"OK, now you're just cheating."
"Rock. Strength. Falcon Punch!" I slammed my feet to the nearest- airborne? waterborne? -rock, absorbing it until I was covered in a layer of rock as I punched Aquaman out of the arena. I was about to tail him and make sure he doesn't return, but King Triton slammed his body into me... not expecting to be immobile in a stone prison and floating to the border of our battle field. "FOS RO DAH!!!"
I may have overdone myself there, firing him like a bullet far away.
"KING TRITON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED. SUDDEN DEATH! GO!"
Aquaman swam at me, summoning so many sharks and dolphins... worthy of a buffet. "Fire! Power! Flamethrower!"
"Don't give in! Give him all you've got!" Aquaman shouted on a hammerhead shark as he pointed his and Triton's tridents at me, creating rainbow electricity that arced between the long forks.
ACT 3.5 PART 3: Fandom Fighter & Black Arm vs Lord Royal Highness(L.R.H.) & Aqualad
It had to be done. I told myself. An eight person fight would be a disaster to write in a diary! I'm calling it, "The Great Fandom Fighter"! It will be adventure, slice of life, no clop... or generally random with interesting tidbits here and there.
Just as music began to play, my attention was drawn to a meteor destroying planets as my Alien X created a new world out of their remains, a heavy cloud layer blocking the sun as my orb of torpedo turned the cloud layer into a round arena, displaying the spikes and lava world below the clouds.
The venomous voice of Princess Daisy and sweet tones of Princess Peach declared in sync, "FOR A FAIR FIGHT, MAJOR TRANSFORMATIONS ARE NOT ALLOWED. IF YOU SO MUCH AS CHANGE YOUR WHOLE SHAPE TO ADAPT TO YOUR FOE, THEN YOU ARE... BYE BYE."
L.R.H. wore a blue jersey that matched Aqualad's sudden basket baller uniform... he held a rocket launcher behind him for some reason.
Lord gawked at the weapon, taking out a tank from nowhere, "HA! Mine is bigger!~"
Black Arm- Shadow and Eevee Mon in a fused form -got in a battle stance, she smirked as the red in her dark navy blue fur began to glow. "I don't care what size it is," she stated, "because you won't enjoy where I'll put those canons!"
Their confident looks faltered a bit as I gulped, getting up from the cloud I sat on.
Looking between me and Black Arm, we both wore matching... pink... socks... What?! staring at myself further, I found that my armor is the same, except it has been reduced in a way that my sock protected my shins and my gloves protected my forearms, but my stomach was unprotected. Heck, paint a big red target on me and wish you weren't in the front row! My shoulders were bare as well and luckily, my short leg armor kept my knees from failing.
...What is up with the universe?!
I shifted my focus to the ball of ice cream... Screw this. "Magic!" My secondary color turned orange as I charged in potential energy in the air around and between my hands. "Hadoken!" I pushed my hands forward, firing a large ball of magic enhanced ki from my palms.
It turned the ice cream into a million... combs...? Before nearly killing L.R.H., who replaced his tank for a mech suit that Black Arm disabled after she tossed a limp Aqualad to the side. "Chaos Control!" Metal flew everywhere, but the King wasn't himself for he was a decoy designed to send the Aqualad decoy to self destruct!
From behind a cloud shrub, Aqualad looked to the short Lord, "...and why do you have a fake me?"
"I hired a seer, who gave me this little tidbit. Nothing much. He risked his life to save the oldest living bubble," his face shifted to something dark. "Before that damn timelord popped it. Seriously! You'd think the brown pony would drown or something-"
"BLUE TEAM RETURN TO THE ARENA! YOU HAVE THREE SECONDS!"
We turned to see two red number 7's sticking out like a sore thumb, luckily I still have my force powers, which allowed me to pull them faster than Scorpion and Sub Zero. "Zoro, activate my buffers."
"Ready."
"Time... Out!" I called, freezing time... with a catch. I have to hop on one foot to keep time frozen while holding a one minute window. Drop my foot and it will end early and I'll have to wait a full day for it to be available. I thought it would be easy, but turned out somebody tied my laces together... why do my boots have laces?!
I fell on my face and felt a large weight painfully land on me.
Mr. Highness looked up at Aqualad, "She can freeze time! I knew it!"
"How?!" Aqualad questioned.
"She stooped my heart~!"
"Fire!" My armor turned red as I cooked them off me, swinging my fist as I got up just as fast. "Normal. Power. El Tigre fist!"
My hands felt numb and claws extended from my fingers. My hand felt heavy so I stopped swinging, letting it drop to the ground. Connecting my wrist to my arm was a limitless chain of a magical, unknown metal... probably titanium. I retracted my fist before swinging it again with a little bit of chain showing as I ran up and shouted, "Falcon Punch!"
My fist glowed orange with a touch of green as it homed in on Aqualad before I changed my attributes to ice and speed, making my winging fist a mobile iceberg! It rounded back around to Aqualad before melting by L.R.H.'s heat ray.
My burning fist returned to my arm as both hands returned to normal and began burning. Luckily my ice setting was switched to water, dousing the flames.
Black Arm hopped onto my shoulders and I remembered my constant role, lowering myself to launch her in the air as we both jumped. She got into the air, her fists created and tossed razor leaves to distract the king as I came in for a close contact summon.
"Open the Gate of the Archer! Sagittarius!" I shouted, taking out one of my Celestial Spirit Gate Keys.
Instead of a man in a horse costume I got a troll in a Bulk Biceps costume. He gave a dramatic pose, holding a broken bow and wearing a quiver for arrows. "My name is Equius Zahhak!" He said in a deep voice. He wore a black muscle shirt and broken shades and he made a puddle of sweat on the ground.
"Punch him!" I shouted as fast as I could.
L.R.H. was stunned for a moment, before to guy poked him hard enough for the king's glass to crack and send him flying. "Are you sure? I gave him a light poke. Punching the guy would be... deadly."
"Um... Can you fire arrows and poke him out of the arena?"
He wiped the endless sweat with a hankie, giving an almost complete wide smile... I don't want to know how he lost teeth so I let him go... smash or something. He leaped towards Lord Royal Highness, grabbing him by the leg with a loud crack and flinging him out of sight.
"LORD ROYAL HIGHNESS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED. EQUIUS IS NOW BANNED FROM FUTURE SHOWDOWNS AND RED TEAM RECEIVES A ONE PERSON PENALTY. NOTION NULLED. ...BLUE PERSON RECOVERED." Alien X turned its huge head towards the horizon where a rainbow ripple summoned a large figure...
Equius said something about a "fish man" before returning to his plain of existence.
Landing, creating a hole in the cloud layer, but not falling, was a flying armored King Triton... without his large fork. "How. Dare. He?!" He flew up at me with a powerful uppercut, making me stumble back with a healing spell to recover my possible broken jaw that cracked back into place with greater pain than the punch.
"KING TRITON GAINES SUPER STRENGTH BUFFER FOR HIS TROUBLES AND YOUR UNFAIR SUMMON."
"Are you f***ing kidding me?!" Black Arm shouted.
"NO. PROFANITY PENALTY AND THE FIGHT WILL CONTINUE."
Black Arm began to burn as Shadow was forced back in my systems and Eevee Mon was returned to normal, but with pain all over. She clutched her chest before reverting back to an Eevee. "Kara, I don't feel so hot..."
"Can you fight?" I asked, trying to find Aqualad as I kept my distance from a tired Triton.
"N-nothing physical. Espeon and Umbreon type stuff and maybe some far range electric..." she whispered back, growing and wincing.
"Great to know!" Aqualad shouted. I turned from Eevee for a moment before her scream brought me back.
"Lord wanted me to 'throw the book' at you. 'Teach you a lesson'... and stuff." He said, holding a book with a face.
"EEVEE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED AND AQUALAD IS DISQUALIFIED FOR BRINGING NECROMANCY AND WEAPONIZED SOCKS TO THE FIELD. THIS IS A FIGHT, NOT A DEATH BATTLE!" As soon as Alien X said that, he fell limp like a puppet with cut strings.
"I am King Triton, son of either Poseidon and Pisces or Neptune and Aquarius! Either way, I'm not playing games!" He rose his blades above his head, swinging them in an X towards me. Before they could reach...
"PINKFLUFFYUNICORNSDANCINGONRAINBOWS~!!!" I forced sang. My armor shifted into different colors before returning to normal, firing rainbowfied Flufflepuff unicorns from my ultimatrix, my right arm moved in front of me to allow the attack.
He tried to reorient himself, but couldn't due to his instincts telling him he was supposed to fall... or something.
I activated my duel disk, placing my Lego form's card onto the card slot. She was a simple Lego figurine half my size with a jumpsuit and a red ponytail. "Hello~!"
"Build a spaceship, like, now!"
"Aye aye, Captain!" she saluted, turning the clouds around her into Lego bricks and forming a cage around King Triton with impossible speed before creating what was supposed to be the rockets. "Light 'em up! Up! Up! He's on fi-ahhh~!"
I aimed my finger, pointing as the rocket. "Firaga!" A fireball flew over, lighting the rocket on fire.
As soon as King Triton freed and righted himself, the rocket pieces pushed him a little bit back, out of the arena. "Was that all?"
"ULTIMA!!!" I charged and fired spectacular waves of golden magic with rainbow colors here and there, pushing him a good distance and actually damaging him. I felt tired as my armor sparked and... fell off? I was on my knee in my usual red t-shirt and jeans, but they too were altered by the Xiaolin Showdown... again, for unknown reasons. "Z...Zoro?"
"You are currently unfit to fight. You've drained nearly all of your magic reserves and the armor has been placed in the inventory for repairs. I would suggest transforming, but we have the weight of our peace treaty agreement on our shoulders."
"...He's not moving? What the-"
"He's out cold! Hurry, place your weight on him before he wakes up."
"Are you calling me fat?"
"He's not, but I enjoy your fat areas."
"Nobody asked you, Shadow!" I simply crawled up to him, climbing until I sat on his chest. I watched as the numbers above our heads counted up. I was at a lime green 4 when Triton began to stir, looking up at his red 8.
"You think you will win?" he asked, pushing me up.
As I fell, I poked his side, "Thunderbolt."
Lightning fell to the sky, striking up both and adding a paralyze debuff to our active stats.
"Clever... girl..."
The world around us became a bright white as Alien X boomed, "RED TEAM WINS! THE PEACE TREATY WILL COMMENCE IN REAL TIME WITHIN AN HOUR OF CONTROLLED TIME."
My head began to feel numb, my last words before collapsing...
"Oscar, its Atlantis. They leave that crap lying everywhere! All we need is a touch of magic and a fine cut emerald from Elusive and you're home free!"
Don't ask us how long we've been in prison, just except the fact that its finally season four and if we escape then the two Conners need to reach land.
Hi, I'm Oscar Conners the Great Fandom Man! I forgot every title given to me and I'm obsessed with bettering my technology. Imagine me as a ginger in a white and blue armor that's the scientific child of Iron Man's Mark V armor and Megaman X with a blue DBZ scouter and a devise called the ultimatrix on my wrist.
Running with me is Kara Conners, my female counterpart from this world I'm stuck in currently. A world where everyone seemingly important is the opposite gender and events are similar or totally different. Like Kara mentioning her "Microten X-Wii 180" and crap like that.
We were sent to prison for trying to force two sea kings/sea gods/sea boy-band leader (L.R.H., king of Atlantis. Don't ask.) to form a peace treaty some odd months ago. Apparently, Aquaman and Aqualad prepared an ambush, locking our ultimatrices out of our reach and draining our magic reserves... which I apparently generate more magic than I use.
Kara pulled me to a wall, looking around the corner and returning her head to me. "Shadow and Zoro are still down. Your girls?"
"Nothing. My scouter is glitching a bit, though." I whispered back.
"OK. This is a long shot, but I want to to focus your magic onto my cuff."
"Overloading the system?"
"No, I need you to mask my magic while I try something."
I gave a shrug, placing my right hand on her metal cuff that blocked her ultimatrix. When my flickering blue aura covered it, she began to... belly dance? I don't know, but I had to focus on keeping my hand on her arm as she moved. When Kara finished she began to glow purple and transformed into a mermaid... with a wrist small enough to slide out of its prison.
Inspecting herself, it wasn't her usual purple tail and shell bikini, but she looked more fish-like. A yellow tail with red streaks, no nose, visible gills, fin blades on her arms and a coral corset. She gave a sharp-tooth smile, "I can't believe it worked!" Her voice was raspy and seemed to echo. "Your turn."
"...uh... Run me through what just happened?"
"There's a game called 'Shantae'. Its named after our half genie hero girl that dances to transform and stuff." She peeked around the corner, remembering the situation. "We don't have a defined magic like Sora or the ponies so anything goes."
"Alright, but don't tell anybody." I got in the stance, "...Especially nobody with portals or a time machine."
Kara took out her scouter through a magic pocket, "Zoro, are you there? Close enough. Display siren dance." She turned to the wall in front of us as she projected an image of a purple haired girl. "Follow Shantae."
"...Alright."
I'm not sure what I was expecting, but as I gave commands he followed while looking... I have nothing nice to say. Oscar messed up at the end, turning himself into... What do you call a dolphin and a turtle mixed?
Doltle (Doll-Toll).
Oscar looked like a green dolphin with a turtle shell with an addiction to jellies and round things. ...That added to his serious demeanor would've been funny, but we have a technologically advanced underwater city on lock-down searching for us.
"There they are! They changed shape and are in the middle of a monologue!" I brace myself for a fight I wasn't prepared for before some screaming to our left turned our attention to the guards attacking a metal band. "You five are going in questioning shapeshifters!"
Another guard spat, "You think you can escape us? We all know no Atlantian dresses like that!"
There was a series of grunting, making the guards laugh as they walked off.
"...Cortana, you on?" Oscar whispered into his scouter, still unable to place it on his face. "Can you change me back? ...Hey Mew! ...We're working on that. ...Understood. See ya later."
He grabbed my hand, pulling me as we sped out of Atlantis. Our bodies began to glow as our magic reverted us to normal and our ultimatrices returned, charging up a teleportation jump.
"Halt, criminal scum!"
We look around, holding our breath in the normal water and freaking out. Guards surrounded us at all angles and blocked all sight.
One guard aimed his trident, "I used to be an adventurer like you-"
Oscar attempted to shout at him, instantly starting to drown.
"-but then I retired and became a guard."
My reaction was similar, sacrificing my air because of annoyed anger. You've got to admit, if you can barely hold your breath and your double is about to die, would you follow him/her? Me neither, but we're going to die any-
Everything was dark as I was inside some sort of cocoon with something breaking on my neck. Thankfully I was out of the dreadful water and coughing my lungs as air thinly returned to me.
"Hello, creature. Our name is Prince Artemis and if thou wish harm then beware... and don't soil yourself."
"Hi, I'm Fandom Man, survivor of drowning just now. Teleportation spell stuff."
Next to me, there was a muffled cry, "Oscar?! Thank god you're alright!"
"Is thou Kara Conners!? How goes thee?!"
"Prince Artemis?! I nearly drowned so I'm not very cheery currently!!"
I tried to turn my head, but it didn't work out well, "Kara, you're friends with these two?!"
"Yes?! What's your status with the royals?!"
"I accidentally broke things, gaining the title 'Fandom the Random'. We are simply neighbors."
"Oh. Same here, but I became their maid until the Canterlot Wedding!"
Another male voice added, "She asked too much of Dusk Shine. Too much fanfillying!"
"Mr. Oscar, something sharp is poking us!"
"Probably the vines."
Some space was gained and Artemis stopped squirming. "New items sent to the inventory!" Rouge informed triumphantly. "Atlantian iOS scanned. Important upgrades added as an update and I'm feeling great!"
The prince squirmed, "Who goes there?!"
"Tiny voice in my magic armor."
"Oh."
"Draw four Prince Solaris and my color is green!"
Oscar and I were able to open communications, setting up a projected game of Uno. ...He didn't seem so enthused with his losing streak, but was starting to catch up. "Alright, I place my own draw four wild and I chose red. Skip Oscar and go to Arty."
"Which direction are we going and when do I catch fish?"
"Not 'Go Fish', prince." Oscar replied, possibly sorting his cards by color or number.
"Red six." he replied. "Your turn, Kara Conners."
"Blue six."
"Skip you. Oscar!" Solarus boasted.
The Fandom Man didn't give his usual loud response we were known for between the four of us, instead he remained silent. Not a single groan, "seriously?!", "should've seen that coming!", or "you fell for my trap!" escaped him as he remained silent.
"Skip Kara-"
I hushed him, telling them to listen as we heard voices draw near.
"QUICK! TOSS THE ELEMENTS!"
"Is that Dusk Shine?!" I asked, excited.
"Father of me..." Solaris swore under his breath. It didn't help that his muzzle was basically at my ear and these vines prevented any flow of energy for a teleport jump or transformation.
"JUST DO IT!"
"IF I GET FREED FROM THESE VINES AND I SEE ONE MORE DANK MEME...! I just might flip out or something." Oscar cut his rant short, saying the last part nonchalantly.
The vines began to glow, disappearing as the Tree of Harmony returned... though there was something off. I saw that it was still a crystal tree, but there was blood red apples with a golden insides that rusted on the ground. I know because I saw fresh ones on the tree and rotton, mush apples on the ground-
"The hay? Where'd all these apples come from?!" Apple Jack shouted in surprise.
As the princes gave their usual 'you have a quest' in front of a box with keyholes, Apple Jack grabbed an apple...
HUMAN. YOUR RACE HAS FAILED MY CREATOR ONCE. DON'T LET THIS PONY RACE FALL.
As if we lost control, Oscar fired an arrow to snatch the apple from Apple Jack's grasp before he could touch it while I got him in a Full Nelson and raised him high off his hooves. All this happened so fast, we never realized what we did until it processed in our minds.
"What in tarnation?!" Apple Jack screamed as everyone else gasped.
FIND ME AND MY ALTERNATE A GUARD. TO PREVENT THIS FINAL NAIL IN THIS WORLD'S COFFIN FROM COMING TO PASS.
"Unhoof him!" Rainbow Blitz shouted.
Oscar got on the defensive, "Don't touch the apples on the ground!"
Artemis tilted his head, "What's wrong?"
"I-I don't know, but these apples feel too familiar. Like a poison!" he turned to Dusk Shine. "I can't stay in this world for long, prince. I have to warn the ponies of my world-" he stopped a moment. "My Apple Jack is in danger! Barbra!"
A tiny purple dragon resembling Spike took a step back at my attention. "Y-yes?"
Oscar held out his arm, which created a noise as a fax came out. He rolled it like a scroll and jabbed three fingers in pressure points in her neck. Gold fire turned the scroll into a golden ball that phased from visibility. He released her, "Congrats, your the first dragon I know to send a message to another dimension."
Lego Craft held out his Adminium Arch, glaring at the ponies. "Girls, don't touch those apples."
Box leveled his gaze at him, "Dude... they're just apples."
"Just apples, eh?" Before any more words could be passed, the sound of a fax machine and the Doctor's TARDIS at a rapid pace filled the air, a scroll landing in front of Spike. It gave off a golden glow for a moment before returning to its white color.
Spike opened it.
Heya Twilight and AJ, this is the Great Fandom Man! I'm currently trapped in a version of this world where nearly everybody's gender is swapped. I could mention how good I look in both dimensions but...
DON'T EAT THE HARMONY TREE APPLES.
Seriously, I'm more of a brawler while other me is a great mage of sorts and yet we both restrained two ponies in the stealthiest of ways. Don't worry, stallion Apple Jack isn't hurt... but girl Spike might have a sore throat. I'll let you know when I return. Science, you know?
Anyway, this tree is seen as evil in my world ever since Adam and Eve left their paradise. I won't get into details or biblical theory, but don't eat the fruit. It does not end well. I hate to imagine the effects it would have in your society. Oh, if you really want apples... don't go here.
Lego lowered his weapon, "What he said."
Hopping from building to building; I kept my focus on my goal while worrying about my world.
"Oscar?" Kara the female me took my attention. "I know you're concerned about their safety-"
"We both know this beyond safety."
"Though still; we just gave several Displaced jobs now!"
"I'm pretty sure we wanted them to leave," Shadow stated bluntly, "Our universe is just one big incubator for Displaced and all of their dangerous shenanigans- That word is in my vocabulary..."
"Oh, I agree, don't get me wrong. But some of those Displaced are from destroyed worlds or worlds too screwed up to stay in." Cortana added.
"And through all of that; pony trading is a thing," I added.
"Are you referencing the fact that some Displaced brought ponies from their world... or the Scootaloo Farms?"
Kara got ahead of me to see my holograms floating in front of me, "Scootaloo Farms?"
"Yeah, it's real. Apparently Pokemon physics can work on them so if you breed Scootaloo you get a baby clone Scootaloo with the exact or similar memories as a parent Scootaloo. It's weird yet oddly adorable to see the Scootaloo hatch from its egg."
Zoro laughed, "Yeah, they just start screaming and kicking their little hooves until reality kicks in. I guess Scootaloo can't be an orphan if it's parent is a Scootaloo... though now I wonder if it's appropriate to call her a chicken."
I smirked, "Is it appropriate to do the Harlem Shake in Harlem?"
Everyone winced at that image.
Rouge sighed, "So it is like that Legend of Link game? You harm a chicken and get jumped by the entire flock?"
"Exactly," the two replied.
"I'm not sure if I want to go back, yet."
"Same," Kara agreed.
We stood at a wooden fence, watching Scootaloos of every size, age, gender, and shade of orange and purple either running around or doing whatever they usually do. Heck, there was a teen Scootaloo who couldn't fly trying to teach many tiny Scootaloos how to hover while infant Scootaloos flew around.
"So it really is a wing growth disability," I mused.
When a bell rang, an elder Scootaloo with a Rainbow Dash wig called for a "Rainbow Dash fan club meeting." Of course, the elder wasn't really old, just the oldest being a pretty young mare. Pretty as in she is almost at a half way point? I don't know.
"The end of season five, show wise, has come!" she exclaimed, changing a slide to show Rainbow Dash with a robot wing, battle armor seen in most futuristic Sci-fi and ragged hair saluting Maud Pie and a pink Maud Pie in similar armor and fashion as they salute her.
All the Scootaloos went nuts before the slide was changed to a Rainbow Dash with a buzzcut in Lunar Guard armor. They stared at the image in awe; the commanding look, the serious tone, a past that could be worth reading. I mean, Sombra had to return at some point!
"Season five's end...?" I stared at the side by side images of the two Rainbows.
"*Kid, those images are only scratching the surface of your mission."
I quickly turned around; I'm not at the Scootaloo Farm nor was I on solid ground. I was in a red and purple void. In front of me was an orb, showing a confused Kara reading a scroll.
Beyond the orb... was Santa Clause and some guy in a blue hoodie, white shirt, and black jeans. I saw his sternum and skeleton feet, meaning that he was probably a living skeleton... or Santa was going to give me a bad time. They guy pulled down his hood, revealing that his was a living skeleton with a smile on his face.
"What. The. Fudge." Rouge didn't actually say 'fudge'- You probably got the reference.
"Alright Sans, your Christmas wish has been granted," Santa then faded from view as Sans centered himself in front of me.
"So... who did you dress up as?" I began.
"*Your mom. *I'm just messing with ya." He hovered over to me and held out a hand, "*Sans from Undertale. *Just call me Comic Sans, okay?"
He gave his hand a firm grip, a farting noise following afterward.
"*Dude, really? *I'm trying to be serious and you grab my whoopie hand?"
"YOU OFFERED IT TO ME!"
"*I'm kiddin'! Seriously, can't you take a joke?" His smirk seemed to almost grow.
"Sorry... Why am I here?" I asked, "Its got to be something important if you want the help of..." I released his hand and let fire surround my right hand and leveled it to his face, "...the Great Fandom Man!"
His left eye socket glowed a blue eye, "*You call yourself 'great'? *Kid, mess with me and you're asking for a bad time."
"How about we test that? Atlantis prison might've got me rusty, but I'm game for a fight," I got in the best fighting stance hovering could provide. "We can talk here or there. You in?"
"What is that song...?" I stared at him as he sang.
"*Let's go dirty brother killer."
There was a glowing blue heart above his head and a dull blue heart that pointed to the right, tossing me into a wall. We were sent to a golden hall filled with many pillars. My heart turned back to red as I landed back on the ground and rushed him.
He tossed some bones at me before a dragon head fired a laser at me.
"*You have a high LV."
"Hey, thank-"
"*I guess you like the feeling of your sins crawling on your back."
I felt a chill on my spine when he said that.
My heart turned blue as he toss around. I slammed my ultimatrix down as I became Gravattack and returned the favor as we stood on the wall and dashed at each other. I switched to Ultimate Fandom Man to keep Gravattack's powers and quickly dodged dragon skulls and bones, landing behind Sans and got him in a Full Nelson.
"*Get dunked on, bro!" He changed gravity with me, knocking my head into a pillar on our way sideways.
He tossed me a bone, dislodging me while also injuring me. I teleported over to him with a Falcon Punch, grabbing a scan as my fist brushed past him.
"*Looks like I picked the wrong guy to liberate doomed timelines... *though that clown fight that might've happened in the Tirek timeline was interesting. *Where are your god powers like Q and X go?"
"They're sitting back and watching me win."
"Magic Charge is at Maximum. Integrating Pony Up." my ultimatrix's J.A.R.V.I.S. voice chirped.
"'Pony Up'? What kind of-" I froze as I spun in mid-air, gaining armored wings and pony ears. I gave some dumb poise that created a blue background with twin swords in an X with a Gatorade sports bottle on the middle. "-name is that? I'd rather go with 'Saddle Up' or 'Super Equestrian'!"
"Pony Up complete. Chaging four reserves."
My hands glowed with raw magic as I flew for Comic Sans, exchanging punches. He began to toss blue bones at me, causing more damage than the white.
"Oscar, buddy, if you had the mind of a computer you would see THAT MOVEMENT ALLOW THOSE BONES TO HURT YOU!" Rouge screamed, distracting me enough to see her point as a blue bone painlessly passed through me.
"*If you survive this then I will let you win."
I switched to a Pony Up DJ Echo Echo, splitting myself into different clones that took random formations as they rushed Sans. One Echo commanded, "Team A: Wall of Wub! Team B: Victory Screech!"
The call was heard and John Cena grabbed Sans and piledrives him before saluting and leaping out of this fic. All of the Echos merged back into one Echo that returned to a Pony Up normal me.
"*What. The. Hell."
"I think you said 'Get dunked on, bro'?" I said, smiling and fluttering my wings as I offered my hand.
He grabs my hand, pulling himself up. "*Well, looks like you stalled me long enough. *I don't like repeating myself."
Before I could ask what he meant; I heard voices behind me.
I turned around... well, we're one person short of a Starswirl School reunion.
Seth a.k.a. Swampfire Protector of his Garden and the Creeper King... both titles are exactly the same, so really? Chick dig long titles. He houses a small nation of peaceful Minecraft Creepers in constant migration. He's at war with a second personality and his ex-girlfriend's suicide Creeper army... which is making things slightly tense here.
...hold on, I think that means I know two Seths...
Ivy Sam and Undergrowth. The ex we were talking about? That's her with her bodyguard, both gaining their forms from Vegetated Sam from Danny Phantom. She has her own army and tends to send out Undergrowth for the messier enemies like Swampfire's second mind simply known as "Creeper King". Plants are territorial and boring.
The Equestrian Dragon Drake Long. He is confused for a more intense lizard man. His form is from a Disney Channel show "The American Dragon Jake Long", but his human form looks more fierce than I last saw him. Scar across his face, red armor based off his jacket, steel toed boots, and guns. Yep. Nothing says mystical dragons like guns and pockets that hold ammo.
His eyes still resemble his dragon eyes as he glares down the plant Displaced.
Instead of twin Mickey Mouse; I see only Mickey with a Super Saiyan-like aura around him. He dual wields the two keyblades King Mickey from Kingdom Hearts wields. His skin is paper white with eyes that have no detail like the Epic Mickey, his shoes even match.
He spoke with two similar Mickey voices, "Well, I'm getting some strange familiarity."
For some reason Box is standing in for Lego Craft... again.
Next to him was Numbah One from the future. Nicholas Uno based his form on the storyboard art for "Galactic: Kids Next Door" and helped me with the craziest time travel crap I've ever stepped in... I think I still owe him a pair of shades since he resorted to Numbuh One's traditional pair instead of the futuristic ones. He's also good at countering a corrupt A.I. named Timebase that was hacked- Time. Travel. Crap.
Comic Sans pulled me next to him, "*Let's begin this meeting. *I'm Comic Sans and I made a Christmas wish granted by Santa Clause for a special mission."
Drake sighed with green smoke escaping his mouth, "Santa Clause? Really?"
"*I don't see you dealing with one hundred displaced Santas. *Most being Tim Allen. *Or evil robot Santas." Sans placed his skeleton hands in his coat pocket, "*Guys, I worked myself to the BONE. *heheh. *Bone."
"Don't start making puns." Mickey began, "My two souls made my dislike for puns double."
Swampfire rose a leafy brow, "Two minds in one body? How is it?"
"Not too bad, I guess."
"Well, that's good for you, but I'm in constant hell with this guy-" his left arm grew into a four-fingered tree arm with three blue bulbs... long enough to punch himself across the face before returning. His fixed his head back into position, "Well, that hurt."
Ivy giggled, "Hey Creeper King, can you do that again?"
"Oh, crap. Where my creepers?!"
"*Frozen in time outside. *Cool, isn't it?" Sans replied, "*I'm guessing you're all done with meet and greet for now. *Don't get me wrong, this is almost as amusing as that Gilda and Undyne cooking show I'm missing."
(Meanwhile)
"Hello, nerds and dweebs! I'm Gilda and this is Undyne."
The griffon watched as the fist warrior began to twirl a blue spear then ground it. "WE ARE MAKING PASTA, NERDS!"
They both rushed over to different areas of the kitchen, beating things up as ingredients fell into place. "Not just any pasta, though."
Gilda began punching the ingredients for the sauce into submission while Undyne tossed the whole box of raw noodles into the pan of water box and all.
Gilda looked back at the camera, "That was next episode's budget!"
"When you heat up the noodles; heat them with your PASSION!" Undyne kept cranking the burner's heat more and more as Gilda rapidly stirred the noodles while dinting and melting the pot as Undyne commanded, "Faster! Hotter! Faster! HOTTER!"
"Undyne, I think that's too hot!" Gilda screamed as her wings flared as she backed up.
"IT'S NEVER TOO HOT!" Suddenly the kitchen caught on fire, "Never mind, THAT is too hot."
"*I wonder how they're spearghetti is made." He rolled the lights in his eye sockets, "*I hope they don't lose another house."
I turned my head to Sans, "We were supposed to talk more during our spar..." I turned to the group, "...all I got was something about season five's end and liberating alternate timelines."
Drake smirked, "I see what's going on. We all wake up on the same Equestria to give bad timelines a better end."
Numbah One fixed his glasses, "I guess I'm here for my knowledge of time travel?"
"I'm pretty sure I'm the Timelord here, pal," I boasted.
"How often do you travel? It's constant for me."
"Enough to somehow end up in the Tirek timeline, fight some clowns, and have Alien X fix time-space so that I wouldn't become fractured again," I smirked, "Also remember my time loop with the Delorean and my temporary amnesia?"
"No... I forgot about that last one."
"*Good one, kid." Sans commented, "*Just like in Undertale; I've been through every reset. *The Equestria you know is Twilight Sparkle's pacifist route. *The alternate timelines is either the work of a genocide Twilight, unfortunate chance, or the villain inhabiting that version."
Mickey tilted his head, "An evil Twilight? How?" One voice sounded curious while the other skeptic.
"*Let's see... *The only reason Moon Dancer and their other friends were friends to begin with was because they shared classes in Celestia's school. *Twilight being a depressed bookworm left her home at a young age that varies depending on the timelines. *She met new friends in her world tour, but couldn't stay in one place because of her brother." his eye socket's lights were gone when he... um... opened his eye sockets. "*Since she couldn't learn advanced spells; she either found dark magic and mastered it, learned other skills requiring little to no magic, or found Starlight Glimmer's town. *Why Sombra's war wasn't in everlasting light was because Twilight assassinated Nightmare Moon. *In Chrissy's case; her changelings ambushed the princess."
Box pocketed his notebook, "So the rainboom and Twilight are the major factors of Equestria?"
"*Exactly."
Swampfire grinned, "I call the changeling timeline and Sam can have the Flim Flam brothers."
"And why?" Ivy Sam asked.
"I can merge with trees and spy on changelings while you get to make new forests and a chance at legal arson."
Drake laughed, "While you two Lorax it up; I call Tirek's world."
"No, you can have Sombra," I interjected, "Tirek is mine!"
"But I'm a dragon and... fire... and Dragon Ball Z styled fights!"
"Fine, but I'm going to knock out Sombra forces." At that point Rouge turned me into my Super Saiyan three form, letting me whip my long hair dramatically. "It'll be relatively easy."
Drake stared me down, "You lucky-"
"I'll take either the wasteland or Discord's world," Mickey called out.
Box smirked, "How about I take the wasteland. It looks like a dull flat-world so... Yeah. An open world sand box."
"Like Minecraft?" Swampfire asked.
"Exactly. If ponies can't live there then who can?"
"*Lost Displaced." Sans replied.
Everyone turned to him.
"*This mission isn't just to bring peace to the bad timelines. *We are going to find homes for Displaced inside their own Equestria."
The streets of an unmarked ghost town; a settlement said to be formed from gods and monsters was reduced to mere space and shadows of its former glory. Displo. It was the only known name for this place. In these streets, a young cream colored pegasus colt ran from what looked to be Crystal Knights in their black armor and glowing green eyes and pony Stormtroopers.
As much as the colt wanted to get away, the small group of armored ponies... around ten together fired lasers, threatening to injure his other wing. He made a left down an alley, the group at his heels slowing slightly so the weight of their armor didn't force them past their destination.
Pleasant Run thought he lost them, but when they came into view; his distance was at first very great until he ran into a dead end. There was no way out and he couldn't fly; these guys would give him the worst slap in his life.
"Troopers, aim! Fire on my mark." a black Stormtrooper commanded, lifting laser two canons on his wings. "Knights, create a barrier."
"Permission to speak?" One Knight asked, not waiting for a response, "Why? Are you afraid of the legends?"
"That's not how permission to speak works." Black Trooper replied with a hoof to his face, "I gave you an order! We can continue this conversation during your insubordination execution." Everyone leveled their laser devices at Pleasant Run, who thought he could sneak past them. "Fire!"
"Kick!" I shouted, my foot absorbing the blast into my magic reserves before I fired at the ground and changed my secondary to speed red to absorb the other lasers.
One trooper shouted, "What the hell?!" He fired several shots as I absorbed them.
"That's what I said!" I replied, switching to one of my various ghost/dark spirit forms: Ghost Rider. My head burst to flames as my armor turned dark and spiked before creating a leather jacket with several chains forming across my chest. "I had one hell of an awakening!" My cape burned away, revealing a metal hand that adapted to my form change by becoming a flaming claw. The ultimatrix formed on the spiked belt, still on the armor's speed setting. "Some guy shot off my hand and now I'm dealing with Stormtroopers and... whatever you guys are."
As soon as his fist met his hand a portal opened above, but nobody noticed.
"Hope you're ready for the Fandom Man!" I shouted, running a pulling a fist only for something white and green to fall from the sky behind the group, making a crater. There was a shout of "Falcon Punch" faster than that, taking a trooper through the wall above Pleasant Run. "Cortana, do you see this?!"
A blue holographic woman that actually looked like Cortana in a cardigan scanned the area as soon as vines shot out of the ground after a blue flash; a few Crystal Knights were tossed around. A Swampfire stepped out of the crater, his omnitrix symbol a blank green. He lifted his head, "That's for you, Swampy!"
"F***, you!"
He looked directly at me, the two of us returning to our normal forms. Both of us Fandom Men, but his armor looked smoother and cleaner with all of the lights working. ...he even had both hands. Noticing the paradox that the two ultimaties would make, he reached his left hand. It slightly offended me, but I reached my bulky gray hand to shake his.
"Fandom Man, Prime Timeline." He said, smiling. "Congrats, you are cooler than the girl version of me. Metal hand? Sombra war timeline? You look epic! Bonus with the Skywalker scenario."
I pulled my hand back, frowning. "O. Conner. If you weren't me, I would contemplate killing you."
"...and you are now second best O. Conners." I rolled my eyes. "Nice Cortana, but I got a better deal." He summoned two holograms, his Cortana was a blue Roll.EXE and-
I pushed him against the wall, "Why do you-"
"Time crap, turned dark, back to normal with system glitch. Rouge-" He teleported behind me, a glowing green fist near my head as he floated in his air armor element. "-improved my armor. Compared to you, I'm superior... I think. I hope you're not serious about the killing thing?"
"Scans complete. His technology is superior, yes, but he seems to be lazy so our raw skills can best him." Cortana informed me privately. "Let's also avoid a fight and focus on Pleasant Run."
As my other solidified, we turned to the little colt. "Kid, ya better have a bucking amazing reason to show your dumb flank in Displo."
"Are we seriously playing good guard, bad guard?"
"You keep thinking that." I turned to the kid. "Spill."
Pleasant nervously looked around before saluting, "One Rank Above Prive Pleasant Run, sir!"
Fandom Man tilted his head, "Wouldn't that be 'Private First Class'?"
"You mean my brother or the 'One Rank Above' branch?" he replied, shrugging. "I know, confusing."
"Dear Faust, not again..." I rubbed my head. "The branch, Private! What is it and why are you here?"
"Should I answer why I'm here or-"
Fandom Man slapped bacon in my mouth before staring deep into Pleasant's eyes. "How about you answer both in the new order-"
"I'm not part of 'The New Order'-"
"-GIVEN. Follow me and talk."
Private Pleasant Run of the "One Rank Above" pegasus branch of the "Harmony Rebels" and blah blah blah. They rebel again Sombra and Celestia while also having turf wars with "The New Order" led by a crippled Nightmare Moon... half of it. The other half are confused rebels.
Nightmare Moon brought back the Crystal Empire in hopes of waking King Sombra and Mr. Voiceless himself drains her power and removed the back half of her body. She almost looks like a pony Sith Lord. I'm calling her "Darth Moony" from now on. There's been some shady deals where the Crystal Legion and New Order meet. The confused Moon Troopers and weakly controlled Crystal Knights made a group called "Crystal Order".
Pleasant Run's base just happened to be near where Our Town should've been and in the direct middle of the enemy's territory. Run's mission was to join a small herd of scouts to find Displo and anything they can use to defend themselves. Sergeant Major Double Diamond and First Sergeants Lego Craft and Box Hooves are on their last legs.
They keep adapting to the point land mines and TNT cannons are useless. They even summoned the last Ender Dragon for it to fall prey to the combined forces.
Fandom Man watched as I changed my hand to it's many forms including a light saber saw, which might have prompted his question. "Are we in Pony Star Wars Mafia or something?"
Within my apartment; I hooked up all of my gear and placed what I couldn't fit in my inventory inside a metal backpack I had.
Pleasant Run gave an incredulous stare, "What?"
"We have a light side and a dark side fighting each other, rebels, a war, magic, shady deals and turf wars, and now a tiny person goes to parts unknown to find a hero while also being pursued or captured by something." He stopped, thinking of something. "You have air battles or a giant ball that acts as a death machine?"
"We did have a second moon made of crystal. Sombra made it to destroy towns he couldn't liberate so we sent pegasi into space with unicorns to take it out, or at least, make it useless."
"I smell a fan fic a-brewin'!" We shouted at the confusion of Private Run.
"And then there's this rock!" Fandom Man shouted with a dumb look on his face.
Private Pleasant Run, Fandom Man, and O. Conner decided to avoid land and air traps by simply walking through the desert from Displo to Fort Starlight (a name that really got a rise out of the cleaner of the three). We just made it to the outskirts when Fandom Man found a huge rock. ...and he was complaining about it for five minutes now without interruption.
"I see! Tom get's destroyed by the Pie sisters, but this guy? You don't even have a fan name! How are you immune to land mines?!" He shook his fist at it. "I see the craters and scorch marks around you!"
"You done, yet?" Pleasant asked, using a metal detector to find land mines and pass the time.
He paused in his rant, "I'll have words with the guy who named Fort Starlight, now."
O. Conner got out of his meditation, crossing his arms, "Private, is there a way to double time this?"
"I just sent a request for unicorn transport." he opened his saddlebag, checking a tablet-like device. "I have good and bad news."
"Spill."
"There's an army on our radar. If the three of us are going to teleport then we need to feed enough power to them to support their spell range."
Fandom Man tilted his head, "And why can't we teleport ourselves? I can turn into a Saiyan to instantly transport us."
"Magic and alchemy will kill you two, leaving me with once powerful mush." Pleasant replied evenly. "You two need to be scanned by unicorns and given our trust."
"Alright, O. Conner, let's lend our arcane matrix to them!"
He lowered his arms, "Arcane what? If you're talking about my magic tank then sure."
"Crap."
"What?" they readily responded.
"The tank is useless; just holds magic. The arcane matrix combine with our skills-"
"What skills?"
From out of nowhere, a laser fired over Pleasant's head and between the Conners, leaving the trio to hide behind the Season 5 premiere rock. "Well, this is great!" Fandom Man exclaimed.
"Don't be dramatic, kid." O. Conner said, shifting his robot arm into a gun. "Either we fight or think of something dumb."
It was then Rouge decided to speak, "Yo, why not fuse? Fusion dance, combine power and tech, increased magic levels, then unicorn magic can do the rest!"
"This isn't going to be weird, is it?"
O. Conner returned his hand to its default form. "Only if you make it. We're almost the same guy so will it matter?"
Pleasant Run was about to add something when the two spaced each other out. Fandom Man had two straight arms pointed at O. Conner, "Fuuuuus-" his paused as he watched his war-chanced double begin whippng before spinning on his head. "What are you doing?"
O. Conner stopped, "Um... fusion? Duh."
"Is that a new thing? I'm not judging, but I don't imagine Goku or Goten being street performers."
"Wait, we're doing that fusion dance?" After a nod, he added. "Hell no, I'm wearing that retarded vest! We're doing this Steven Universe style or nothing!"
"Hold on, you watch that show?"
"Yeah?"
"Never caught on. Is it all that it's hyped up to be?" The sounds of exploding land mines filled the air as our rush brought itself back full force. "How do we fuse?!"
"I'm part Gem so that half is done. All we need to do is get our mind and emotions in sync while dancing in a way that resonates with ourselves before meeting in the middle. Kinda gay, but you can get used to it."
"I'll keep an open mind."
Run checked a new message, "If they can't get a lock on us, we're screwed."
While O. Conner's breakdancing got closer to the middle, Fandom Man...
The music continued as Fandom Man's locomotion was assimilated as the two Fandom Men fused into an armored human three times their combined size. A blue gemstone on their- his right shoulder summoned a carpenter's hammer. They- He turned quickly tossing limitless hammers at the passing soldiers with all four hands.
All four hands?
They had four arms with two watches on their bottom arms. They had sleek white and silver armor with broken or melted edges, metal bird wings on their back, and were creating a strong magic field to fire energy blasts at stragglers who weren't hammered.
Did they have that weapon for a substance abuse joke?
Pleasant looked town at his tablet, "Guys! Guy! Whatever, prepare for teleport!"
"Aye aye cap'n! No! Private!" He began to falter, stretching a bit in some spots before fixing their problem. "Agreed. Private, let us prepare."
We turned to what looked like the guy in charge as a rainbow light covered us, "I oughta bury you underground so Goat Mom could teach you manners and a skeleton can send you ta-"
*POP!*
The silver stormtrooper fixed her red cape as one of her stallions translated her thoughts. "Dafaq?"
"Hey, the Fandom Giant was not done taunting!" We yelled. It was then I saw their commanding officer, forcing us out of the fusion with a salute.
Fandom Man was still a bit upset, but got out of it. "How's it goin' Elmo?"
The red muppet general didn't look impressed. Cute in one's opinion, but not impressed. "Stranger, did I give you permission-"
Fandom Man held out a hand, showing a hologram of his General Elmo and himself having a relaxed conversation over lunch. Over what? We didn't know. "Let's get this over with so I can sock ol' Sombra in the jaw and sprinkle friendship in the mix."
General Elmo got part of the message, scoffing, "Sure, friendship! Let's bake them cookies and invite them to parties and discuss fashion."
O. Conner didn't look very happy at where the conversation was-
"Alright, guys." Fandom Man said as he stood. "As of now, I'm in charge and Double Diamond is co-in charge but also giving me all power and stuff!"
"Excuse me?!" Pleasant Run screamed.
"Private, did I give you permission to speak?" Elmo asked. "Never mind, go file your report."
The peach colored pony followed orders as Fandom Man got confident. "First order of business is for the unicorns to scan me so I can prove myself and share my other worldly knowledge of ancient weaponry that has stopped many villains."
Everything got dead silent... even the assault outside seemed to stop.
I watched in awe as this "Prime Timeline" me floated around as Gravattack, tossing untouched land mines at oncoming enemy soldiers. The army had great skill in avoiding traps and laser fire, but they were not ready for this. When they did adapt, Fandom Man locked onto them before switching to his normal form with speed attribute, sliding past a group of Crystal Knights while swinging his keyblade.
It resembled the barrel of a tank with two hunting knives lodged asymmetrically near the end of the barrel.
Those he didn't cut down, he fired a rocket from the described weapon. Not only did that take out another group of foes, but tripped some mines that blew up another group. His ultimatrix glowed and a free hand touched his helmet for a message. He nods before realizing he was surrounded, but nobody had a chance to save him as he replaced speed for fire and his blade for the Sword of the Storm and Eye of Dashi shen gong wu. He leaped into the air with a flame spin attack, sending a wave of flame to ground and air forces before he changed again.
He took the form of Echo Echo, but before landing he took out a wooden blue mask that then stuck and molded his to face. He rapidly spun, creating a tornado before stopping as a blue faced Echo in a white and green suit. He touched down, giving a grin he metallic voice sounded a little lively as he said, "Well, this joint is poppin'!"
O. Conner's eyes grew wide, "Everyone get down!"
The Mask Echo spun as he cloned himself, each with their own costume. A few Mask Echos dressed like Celestia's guards with stern look and gold armor as they expanded their hands, slapping ponies around as they were helpless to grab their weapons. Those unicorns that could grab their weapon had their helmets yanked off by a TF2 Soldier-looking Mask Echo. "You call this a bucket, maggot? You can't carry teleported bread in this garbage!" The Crystal Knights that lost their helmets began to glow as they hugged the Echo, running off to join the rebellion.
A Mask Echo resembling Morgan Freeman with a robotic sounding Morgan voice began to narrate, "Freedom. It's a way of life we all seek-" Too bad his life was ended too quickly.
Mommy Mask Echo screamed, "Kevin!" Every Echo watched as their brother slowly died with horror and rage on their faces. All the Echos took off the Crystal Knight's helmet before becoming one Mask Echo.
"All better now! Now for revenge!"
The Knight's pupils shrunk as she shook in her boots.
"Mind controlling beautiful crystal ponies?! Uncalled for!" He turned over to the scared Knight. "You are not a murderer and you are not a slave. You are an experience- No. A relic! You belong to a museum so run! Be free!"
O. Conner was expecting Fandom Man to finish the quote from Garnet, but then he transition to Indiana Jones or something. The Mask Echo spun and glowed green as he became The Flash Echo Echo. Red and yellow Echos rapidly cloned themselves as they liberated Crystal Knights and tossed wounded Stormtroopers back at the retreating army. A few Echos grabbed wounded Crystal Knights, took off their helmets, and put them in one spot.
As medical personnel ran to retrieve the bodies, one Echo stopped them. When everything was said and done, the one Flash Echo returned to being Fandom Man, who equipped the power attribute. After a minute of supercharging himself, he switched to his magic attribute as Curaga and Skyrim fast healing magic washed over the group of ponies.
Double Diamond bit the stopwatch with a smile on his face as General Elmo frowned, glaring. After a glance at his leader, his expression softened. "You have our attention, kid."
Fandom Man passed O. Conner, "Dude, you're me. Try to keep up and be the hero here."
Double frowned as Fandom Man finished his explanation. "So our world inspired a show for little human fillies and creepy human stallions? To be honest, unless your world likes a story about a war coming from slavery and child slaughter then I could belive, but it seems... too left field."
"Not if it's the Season 5 finale involving time travel." He then turned to me. "O. Conner? The Hunger Games are a three book series with four movies."
"That's important... why?"
"I'm just here to relay information and fight Sombra." Despite the visor covering his eyes, Fandom Man gave me a stern look. "You can't be their Mocking Jay so for now, you can be their Fandom the Random."
"You're aware I hate that name."
"Me too, but it's historic."
Elmo had his face in his furry hands, "Great... Now all we need is a One Punch Man with arms..."
Fandom Man asked about the armless hero while sneaking some forms from O. Conner's ultimatrix through Rouge's hacking. The war-broken hero was none the wiser, but to make it up to him, O. Conner gained the ability to use cross-fusion.
"What's it to you?"
Fandom Man shrugged, "Give him magic robot arms and give him metal balls and you have One Kick Man!"
"But the funding- Hold it." Double Diamond caught himself. "So, you said we need six specific mares to use these... uh... Elements of Harmony?" For some reason, it was hard for anybody to think of six mares and rainbows or a crystal heart filled with love and smiles could defeat or even destroy King Sombra. "Or a magic love heart?"
"Yes, sir. I can currently locate four of them, but it's convincing them that will be a problem."
General Popeye slammed his fist into the table, "If spinach could make me like that One Punch guy ya mentioned then a few sissy hippy crap can do anything!"
"Actually, the hippy stuff only work on the Smooze." Fandom responded, gaining shocked and two skeptical expressions. "A pony named Tree Hugger had weird horsey hippy vibes that saved a Grand Galloping Gala. Discord learned a friendship lesson."
"And died?" Elmo asked.
"Heck no! He was reformed long before then so he had a scolding before he was slowly forgiven. Turned out Celestia invited him." Fandom smiled as the board room fell silent.
Popeye gave a toot before yelling, "What're we waitin' for?! I say we lend some of our stallions and Displaced to him and we find them gals!"
Double Diamond nodded, "All in favor 'aye' and those not whinny."
The aye overshadowed the neigh. And a voice from the doorway spoke, "In that case, we're coming."
O. Conner turned his head to see his rival. Leggo Craft and his pony Box. Fandom Man smirked, "Glad to have you on board. My version of you was supposed to join my team, but he was busy."
The boy with the block legs wore the usual Minecraft Steve? outfit with a tattered cloak and stetson. He let out a sigh, "Don't be too happy. It hurts."
"Agreed," I said, nodding.
Double Diamond rolled his eyes, "By the power granted to me by our long-dead founder Starlight Glimmer- You dudes do whatever you want. I'm not going to judge, but before you go, we need new defenses-"
"Got it covered," Lega said. "Creeper hole land mines with dispensers that will fill the holes after the explosions."
"I flipping hate Adam Sandler!" Fandom Man screamed as we ran through the sand. Behind our small group a few miles behind and gaining ground was a giant pixel Pac Man with tiny Pac Men in front. "How is One Kick Man out of sight already?!"
I rolled my eyes as I messed with my ultimatrix dial and flew by them with my awesome new metal wings. "Bob is an armless One Punch Man with nothing to do, but run on a track and do push ups with his head. What do you think?!"
One pony with us... Captain Party Favor? He gave a worried, "I think we should've gone back for Dora!"
Rouge was quick to say, "She screamed 'Me empujaste! ¡Eso es! Yo iba a decapitar a usted, pero ahora voy a hacer de su vida un infierno!' Which means 'Run you fools and avenge me!' in Spanish."
"...I don't think-"
"Yeah, you don't. That's why you have machines and Celestia."
A pegasus private looked down at Fandom Man, "At least we have Diego." Diego drove past everyone with his Rescue Pack-turned-ATV. "It should've been Diego."
Nurse Sugar Bell galloped as she held Red the Pokemon Master on her back. He stopped Twitching for some time, mumbling about the "Helix" while wearing his straight jacket. The nurse was great at cooking, but that's not why she was needed. Brock was the cook and he only agreed to join "Project: Harmony Quest" as long as someone had an eye on his possessed friend Red.
This guy was so insecure that he constantly screams and faceplants into walls.
The mumbling stopped being creepy as "waka waka waka" drew near. It was a simple, annoying sound. Why did it belong to a giant Pac Man monster?! The group of unicorn Crystal PrePSs created shield counter measures as a wave of sand became visible.
A Crystal PrePS is a Crystal Prenotice Pony Servant... it was a rushed name. A willing Crystal pony can volunteer on short-notice services from cleaning to guarding... with pay!
C. PrePS Leader Twinkle Toes forced more power into his dash, catching up to O. Conners. "Sir... Knight... HELP US!!!"
He frowned, replying, "I almost found it; one moment-"
Fandom Man began to glow green as he transformed into Ditto Gravattack, rolling into a ball and cloning himself as he increased his body's gravity. The planetoid aliens grabbed everybody, supporting the slower ponies and speeding their pace slightly.
"Great! Now I need to either change or one-up you!"
One Ditto Gravattack asked in a deep yet childish sounding voice, "Are you not the gritty war-torn warrior stereotype?"
O. Conner screamed an unnecessary scream as he slammed the ultimatrix's dial down, "Go! Flash Echo Echo!"
"Now you're just stealing an earlier idea-" All of the Fandom Man looked around, realizing the group was out of his gravity field. They all merged back into one before shifting into a Super Saiyan.
Fandom Man used his gained power to catch up with everyone... grabbing armless One Punch Man as he passed. Far in front was a dust storm of Flash Echos carrying ponies, Displaced, and Red. Red is no mere Displaced.
(Fandom Man P.O.V.)
Bob screamed but I didn't understand why until I saw his foot pointing behind us. Quickly passing to my left were glowing yellow balls twice the size of my head as it is now with the spiked hair standing on my scalp. My enhanced vision from my scouter revealed this to be a Pac Man... move... in... Super Smash Brothers...
The giant ball of death ate the pellets, catching up to my group faster than I could. I upgraded to Super Saiyan three, blazing through the sky.
One Kick Man squirmed in my grasp before using his trained monkey-like feet to mess with my ultimatrix, but I could care less with the worry in my grasp.
"Saitama x Genos Program installed." the ultimatrix chirped on my chest as the ring popped outwards and began to spin rapidly before slamming back down as a thick, spikeless, red ring with four yellow lines forming an "X".
I noticed an increase in speed instantly as I caught up to the giant Pac Man, "Thanks for the boost, girls."
"It's not us! I'm still repairing damage brought upon by our change in points in timelines." Cortana replied. "Go back in time then switching timeline would be safer than our stunt!"
"And I'm repairing while integrating the damage Bob made to the ultimatrix." Rouge added.
"What did he do?!"
"Saitama x Genos Program. It basically allows us the powers of One Punch Man and his cyborg companion Genos in case of emergencies. Currently it's an emergency so big the safety is off. I'm making sure we don't explode from the power."
In my arms, I heard, "Punch it."
"Excuse me Bob?" I asked.
Bob used his armless body to fix his position so I wasn't talking to his knees, "PUNCH PAC MAN IS HIS PIZZA SLICE WAKKA WAKKA FACE!"
(Random P.O.V.)
Fandom Mangave a sage nod as he deposited Bob with everyone else.
"What is he doing?!" Party Favor asked in shock.
"Finishing the job." Bob said with an odd face.
Fandom Man dropped out of his Saiyan form, but kept what he called "the One Punch" equipped with bungie boots. "Tell me when."
"JUST DO IT!" I jumped at the voice before realizing and turning to see Shia Labeouf with blood all over him and a pony leg teleport away.
"Dang it, Shia!" Fandom Man screamed before punching Pac Man from above, obliterating it while making a huge hole in the sand. When he landed, a locked chest was sent to his inventory. "...and I think I found a "Holes" reference. I'm fine with this."
His fist smoked as he turned to the tiny Pac Men with limbs.
"Serve me or leave." They chose the latter, scrambling to retreat in every direction. "Onwards to Canterlot so we can reach Ponyville?"
O. Conners reformed himself to normal, screaming. When he finished, he kindly asked a very dumb question.
After a couple days and nights of walking (and running from the Pixel Pac Man) and seeing Canterlot in the horizon, we decided to set up camp. Turns out Dora had a majority of our camping gear in her Backpack, the same Backpack Diego drove off with to... uh... Faust knows where?
So here we are around a campfire, planning out how we're going to fit 20/30 ponies in a tiny, poorly made, tent and who is cuddling who, who is standing guard, and if we're keeping the fire burning. It was then that the Fandom Men had ideas for shelter, resulting in multiple ponies in either a Magic School Bus or a small RV dubbed "the Rust Bucket".
After arranging the vehicles and tent in a protective triangle with a fire in the middle-
"WAAAIT!" Everyone stopped their chatting to look at Party Favor. "Illuminati confirmed!"
Everyone shrugged, volunteer and service ponies climbed into the bus and RV while slowing continuing communication. The leading pony team: Fandom Man, O. Conners, Party Favor, Sugar Bell, Lego Craft, Box, and Brock... with the unquestioned inclusion of Bob sat around the fire with Fandom Man's marshmallows roasting.
"You're sure this isn't made from pony hooves?" Sugar Bell asked, making her s'more.
"For the unknownth time: no. They are made from minerals my Earth does not have that works like a substitute."
"How can I trust you with that?"
"If time-space allows it; I will take you to my Maud Pie."
"Who?"
O. Conners cleared his throat, gaining all attention, "I didn't just call this private meeting for casual talk... and there is no Illuminati. Maybe Bill Cipher, but no Illuminati." His hand suddenly went limp, causing us to watch as he unscrewed it and replaced the limb with a fully charged and cleaner one. "There one of my weaknesses; a hand that lasts a week. We need to talk strength, weakness, and who can help who."
Brock looked over to Bob the armless One Punch Man, watching him roast marshmallows with his feet gripping the stick. "Does Bob still have a weakness?"
"Besides spicy food and magic; no I do not." he replied. "Can we keep this to 20 words or less?"
"It's too late in the story for that." Party replied. "I think we hit the nine hundred thousand-ish total words."
O. Conners and Captain Favor tapped marshmallows, "Haha! Meta-humor."
Fandom Man looked lost, but not as lost as everyone else. Bob could care, but he chose not to.
"Alright, I can adapt to any situation with my armor on." O. Conners began. "But without it, I rely on my wits and Gem powers. You've also seen my hand lose power so my survival decreases for not being a leftie."
Party Favor shrugged, "I'm not thing special beyond being a leader and my bouts of luck in combat. I've been told that I can break physics, but all I see in myself is an average pony that can snap your neck within a minute or two." He said, compressing ten marshmallows into what appeared to be a one marshmallow s'more. "I guess I'm also addicted to noise. Anything fun and loud like a party and I'm in some sleep-trotting state before my bearings return." He tipped his hat with his Captain rank. "Besides leading some wounded ponies out of danger and stealing a Stormtroopers helmet; I'm a Captain because I'm not fully trusted in combat."
Sugar Bell nodded sadly, "A unicorn cured me of my PTSD, but now I have hallucinations of the good times before the war. One time; I was performing delicate surgery one moment then I wake up with a tray of cupcakes, but my patient is gone without a trace. It's happened a few more times, but I wake up in a closet with muffins and the other medical staff take my job. I was told I needed a break, but watching Red and trotting across a war-torn Equestria filled with bandits and monsters seem to be the opposite."
The whole camp went quiet when she finished.
After a few words to our campers from Nurse Sugar, sound returned. "Ponies! I don't listen on their conversations."
Brock took out two Pokeballs, "I have a few Pokemon. Onyx and four of Red's Pokemon: Dig Rat, ATV, some Flareon he hates, and his... uh... 'Lord Helix'. Without the pokemon minus Helix, I would just be a pretty face with skills in cooking. If I used Helix, I would be at the mercy of Red and his demons unless Helix was in danger."
Fandom Man shrugged, "I'm completely useless without my armor so I would rely on my ultimatrix, what little magic I know, my keyblade, and my pokemon. I brought my Kuriboh and a half Digimon Eevee Mon. Basically when he's in his second form every eeveelution power is granted to him. I can have my Navis Cortana and Rouge hack anything or become a variable in Eevee Mon's DNA Digivolution and my EM Cross Fusion, which allow me to become living radio waves while also being solid." Fandom Man chuckled nervously, "I'm also a spiritual balance wreck and data leech." He then turned to O. Conner. "On the talk of me; what's that gem of yours anyway?"
He looked at his right shoulder to the dull, blue gem with sparkling brown showing through, "A chocolate diamond, but I painted it blue."
Nurse Sugar Bell gasped, "Why would you paint it?!"
"It's nickname 'chocolate' made me feel... eh... fat." He flicked his metal pinky before removing it to reapply the paint. "Plus it seemed racist that a person as white as me would parade around with black shoulder, the paint insulates it, and it clashed with my armor. I may be in war with broken gear, but I still have standards. Standards are among my few luxuries." He then summoned the carpenter hammer, picking his nose with the crowbar end. "Oh, and other Conners? Don't hack me again."
Lego Craft took his roasted potato off his stick, munching on it. "Box and I create crap, work best together, and break anything."
Box sighed as he chewed another raw marshmallow, "He creates Minecraft items from nothing and with my ax, I can improve his inventory with MODs. We're immortal and need to take a nap in order to establish a respawn point. We technically don't need sleep, but if I died now then I would wake up back at Fort Starlight in my poor excuse for a bed."
"You could just make one, you know."
"It doesn't seem fair."
"Make them some beds when we return."
Box glared at Lego, "And those with the same conditions in Equestria?! We already help with most short notice defense, but having the country stare daggers at our tiny fort? What about the more free-willed Crystal Knights with their liberties?"
"Tell them to bring a newspaper; King Sombra has lost. Like I said: Make some beds when we return." He shrugged, "Start a factory for all I care. With you by my side and a chance to defeat the king of shadows; we've won."
"We need to grabs the Elements of Harmony, remember?" Fandom Man added.
"Yeah, yeah. We win at the price of escorting some ponies to old rocks."
O. Conners tossed his hammer at Lego's knee to no effect. "'Old rocks'? I think I might be offended by being part Gem, but who knows?"
Fandom Man stretched, "Besides me and Conners, who is sleeping in the tent?"
"Why can't you two?" Party asked.
"Do you want us to take back our rides?" O. Conners asked rhetorically.
Sugar Bell shrugged, "Nose goes?"
"Not fair," Bob added. "You know what? I'll take it as long as Brock and Red join me."
Brock tensed up, "A-Are you serious? He s-screams in h-his sleep."
"I can handle a little snoring."
The camp got quiet again so everyone decided to go sleep and wish Brock luck. As ponies patted Brock on his head for luck... he knew his night would be eventful.
Riding on the magic school bus in a larger form with no distinct theme. It has thick armor, enough room for our camp, Londonkey bus style with thrusters and several mounted machine guns and a limited tank cannon with unlimited ammo.
Around us are post-apocalyptic, "Mad Max" styled vehicles with ponies ripped right out of Fallout: Equestria chasing us. O. Conners has already battled several spear-wielding ponies and some tougher Displaced.
Fandom Man screamed over the music, "Why are my speakers blaring the Pokemon theme?!" After hearing a response, he screams, "What do you mean a Spy is zapping my armor?!" His left arm left the wheel, punching the bone-covered crimson TF2 Spy off the driver's door while grabbing his sniper rifle to fire at some tires, slowing their pursuers.
Ponies cheered before placing unicorns back at every window.
"Why am I still playing jazzy Pokemon music?!" he paused. "Combination of time-space damage and now fractured programming. Great!"
Nurse Sugar Bell lowered her head from the second floor, "Whatever that music is just made Red manageable enough for battle!" There was some screaming. "Also, I think he's craving horse meat."
"I heard Braeburn could solve that problem!" Party Favor ran up next to me, pointing. "There's Canterlot! Do you think we can make it in time?"
"I don't know, but we will see!"
"Alright, just avoid the bottomless pit."
"What?!" He whipped his head to Party Favor. "We won't make it! Get every pegasus to the ceiling and every unicorn down here to attempt initial lift while somebody brainstorm! Now, dang it!"
"Cool your jets, we're not changelings!" Party ran and started commanding the ponies unaware of the orders.
After a pause and a few talking between Oscars through a communications link, a plan was formed where O. Conners would transform into Gravattack and assist the pegasi and unicorns while Fandom Man as Ultimate DJ Echo Echo strapped speakers to the magic school bus. As soon as the shockwave was made and the bus left solid ground, time seemed to slow.
Fandom Man looked out of a left window to see war-torn Mario Bro.s packing a BFG and flamethrower-rocket launcher combo gun against everypony on the bus and two ponies in the expert-made war uniform lead by a blue and white DeadPool on a TARDIS, staring back at him with a wink.
"Aaaaaand- They stick the landing!" FandomPool (Fandom Man) cheered as he turned back to the fight. "Wondering the change in perspective? Basically, we drove into Canterlot, I convinced Celestia to... uh... hoof the elements over." He turned his head to a rocket flying towards him in slowed down time. "Skip two songs to- HEY AUTHOR, WHAT'S WITH THIS TRACK CHANGE?!"
Ratchet and Clank.
"I got it!" He leaped from the TARDIS with a laugh as he flew in a boomerang-like fashion, knocking down Luigi from behind faster than Mario could get his "cake" from Peach. ...not the Mario we're fighting. That prick almost killed his brother to vaporize me!
Mario kept firing, big green balls of death flying everywhere.
"Hey-a! Whatch-a where you are-a firing!" Luigi cried as he absorbed a glowing star. The Pokemon music broke stealth and blared louder than the magic star's music. Or it did until editing changed that.
FandomPool changed back to Fandom Man, summoning his keyblade and the Foreteller Unicornis keyblade. The lights of my armor turned orange as my eyes followed suit from under my Megaman X helmet and scouter. Fandom Man began to float as he fired several fireballs at Mario and Luigi.
O. Conners followed suit as he summoned a keyblade resembling a Terminator T-800 arm wrapping in thorned vines ending at the pointing index finger. He turned to his other hand, forcing energy into it, but nothing happened. He tossed his keyblade from his right hand to left, flicking his metal wrist to open two panels that placed an SD chip in his palm. When the panels closed he shouted, "Ominous Gear+: On!" He leaped into the air as another keyblade formed in his right hand with the ability of widespread damage. "Fear the Rejection of Fate+!"
The Rejection of Fate+ has a short, sea-green handle with a black pommel. Its guard is black and curves around the handle but does not connect to the base of the handle. The shaft of the blade is silver and has semi-circular indentations on its sides. The teeth are comprised of two silver, triangular blades that overlap each other and slant downward. Both triangles have slanted, heart-shaped gaps in them. The Keychain token resembles the guard and handle.
The two slashed and burned at the brothers as the two returned fire, only to learn that the BFG's laser balls were being reflected.
"This is bull shipping!" Mario shouted with an uncharacteristically gruff voice. Just as he said that FandomPool's begging caused the sun to bounce in and out of the sky, long enough for the group to escape.
"So remind me why you're fillynapping us and grabbing a farmer?" Rainbow Dash, gaining a glare from a bound Apple Jack. Outside, Pinkie was being introduced to cannons, which brought upon a slight change of personality and mane style... It wasn't fluffy, but there were curls at the end. We have another crazy pony on board now. Oh, Maud is with us too in accord to our deal with... well, more Pinkie than Celestia.
We rode in a modified version of the "Back To The Future: Part 3" time traveling train. We flew over the tracks toward Ponyville. I mean, we're actually flying in the air, following the path towards the Everfree... and just happened to abduct Apple Jack and her cargo like we were aliens from space.
Don't worry, we actually gave her an offer she couldn't refuse... until she started beating me up from using that line. Remember Godfather Kirby? Second in command to Sombra himself as Kratos Kirby.
O. Conner got up from his seat, walking over to the two mares. "Elements of Harmony. Heard of 'em?"
Dash began to laugh before shaking her head, "You're abducting us for weed? Seriously?"
Apple Jack sighed, "Ah got som on me! If'n ya loosen these here ropes... uh... Ah'll give... 'em... to you?" Worst. Liar. Ever. Her eyes were darting around!
Everyone in the room stared silently at them.
"Do you know the origin of the name?" he suggested, hopfully.
Rainbow just glared at him, "Simple. Smoke it and you see rainbows."
Fandom Man fell from the ceiling, landing on his feet, "That's close. It's six gems used to put the mare in the moon in the moon. And yes, they indeed, make rainbows and got somebody stoned." He snickered at his inside joke before bringing back his serious demeanor. "Out of the six gems, we have three wielders: Laughter, Loyalty, and Honesty."
Apple Jack raised a brow. Rainbow frowned, "What does this have to do with us?!"
"Well, Loyalty, we need you, bad liar Honesty over here-" Apple Jack gasped as the human pointed at her. "-Laughter up there... Maud is a bonus. Pinkie and Maud can help us find Kindness, Generosity, and the 6th Element." Fandom Man twirled a cane with a smiling unicorn head he got from nowhere. "We have an idea where Generosity a.k.a. Rarity is located, but the other two... Not a clue." He allowed a blue disk to hover over his watch, the disk displayed a clear blue image of Discord, but different. The imaged waved before he turned the device off. "I'm very tempted to-"
Shia Labeouf opened the side door, "JUST DO IT!"
"THAT MEME GOT OLD!" Fandom Man shouted, drop kicking Shia out of the timeline.
"Actually, it's fairly new..." O. Conners tried to defend.
Fandom Man turned into, Q ran up, and placed a finger to the Oscar's lips. "I don't need to edit this chapter further plus... This is 2016. Shia is done. He's not famous anymore, according to a paper sack."
Q smirked, snapping three ponies into existence.
Party Favor tossed his hooves up, "What the heck, colt!"
"ACT 4 is going to be a very long ACT. We need to beat Sombra before this part ends. 'PART Final' and such." Q snapped, becoming a dazed Fandom Man again.
Rarity screamed and screamed and screamed as Fluttershy, covered in wood, pelt, and sap barked and growled back at her. A Twilight Sparkle in tattered rags cowered in the corner, crying about how she can't pay rent and begging not to be left on the street.
Brock ran onto the scene, tossing an apple in Rarity's mouth, "Shut up!" He transitioned to Fluttershy, petting her mane and scratching her behind her ears. "One raised in the wild, don't worry, ma'am. You are safe here." She tilted her head before smiling.
Twilight carefully trotted out of her corner, looking for a weapon to defend herself.
Brock sighed, probably rolling his eyes. "You really are safe. Flash Sentry didn't follow you... nor do we work for your landlord."
"Why am I here in a train full of spears then?"
Party Favor shook his head, "Most of our soldiers were liberated from Sombra so they can't use anything more advanced."
Twilight repeated, "Why am I here?"
Fandom Man smiled, "Storytime! Millions of ponies fell into war because of a time traveling equalist pony prevented a filly Rainbow Dash from creating a sonic rainboom-"
"Let me stop you there!" Dash shouted. "The sonic rainboom is a myth."
Fandom Man shook his head, "-the very sonic rainboom that created six heroes who would save Equestria time and time again. I'm from the prime timeline where I met a Princess Twilight Sparkle. Now, we're going to unbind AJ and we're going to play nice. Mmm'kay?"
"Suuure." Twilight replied, calming slightly. Brock untied AJ, only for her to start bashing heads. In a flash of light, Fandom Man turned back into Q to bind AJ and Ms. Sparkle. "What are you doing?!"
"You didn't think I could see the wooden stake?" he pointed to a sharp piece of wood that burned on mention. "We are going to make you kill Sombra and you're going to like it!"
Pinkie and Maud poked their heads inside. Pinkie frowned, "So we're not looking for weapons? We are the weapons?"
"Sounds like a good plan on paper, but my mortal form forgot one detail."
"What's that?" Party Favor asked.
The room lost some light as a cloud covered the sun. "These six ponies are not friends. We would only get... like what? One-third rainbow friendship laser?"
Before anybody could respond, O. Conner's ultimatrix started sparking. This forced him into the form of the Mask... though he looked intense. Think of Ghost Rider covered in blood. In a creepy voice and a claw, he somehow spoke through huge teeth, "The prime timeline ponies were not friends when they defeated Nightmare Moon."
Q scoffed, "Comic book Mask, I presume? They held no distrust, but these six are in a world of war."
"You call this a war?" He took out a knife. "I can show you one."
"I have no doubt, but-"
Sugar Bell joined the group for a moment, announcing our arrival to the empire. The train shook as we rammed through the barrier. Ponies hooked their spears onto their armor or cocked their guns as Displaced followed suit.
Q changed into FandomPool, who took out a couple RYNOs, "Let's see how this fails! Also~." He punched Mask in the face, directly on the ultimatrix pad. Two FandomPools stood with guns loaded. "Ratchet and Clank inspiration."
"There can only be one!" the other FandomPool shouted, returning to O. Conners. "See ya!" He jumped out of the train.
The DeadPool rip-off quickly grabbed the seven ponies, jumping out as well with screams under his arms and on his back. "I just realized; it's raining men!"
"But Brock isn't jumping! And most of the 'men' are stallions!" Pinkie replied from my head.
After a short battle and chasing Red, the Fandom Men made it to King Sombra's throne room... only to find a HUGE TV screen (displaying a dating SIM) on the throne, surrounded by the full FNAF World roster, limp. Frantically typing on a laptop connected to the screen was Sombra, turning his blood-shot cloud eyes.
"Sombra!" I shouted while my double was keeping Twilight, Apple Jack, and Rarity in place with a leash. "We're here to convince these six mares to stop you while the three of us engage in poorly written combat!"
The King rushed over, hugging my legs?! "PLEASE KILL ME!!!"
*BOOM! chick-click*
"With pleasure," Rainbow Dash replied with her shotgun. The ponies stopped struggling as Fandom Man screamed, dropping ponies and beating his head on a wall. "What?"
"Seriously! We set up a group in a sloppy-quick 'Fellowship of the Ring' style and grab six important ponies only for Sombra to lose so much power a shotgun kills him?!"
There was thump. We turn to see Fredbear toss Sombra's bloody, limp body toward the foot of his throne (with an impressive slide, creating a red carpet made of blood) where the anime girl in the TV on the throne screamed, "YOU DARE KILL MY PET?!"
"KIRBY, GET THE Facts OVER HERE!" the girl lifted her arms as energy coursed through the animatronics and released SpringTrap and PlushTrap. The machines slowly got up- except for Golden Freddy -and gas flew from their mouths. Every exit locked us in as the hallucinogens took hold, revealing the Nightmare animatronics and other creepy images.
"DEAR LUNA, I SAW THE FAN!!!" I screamed. It wasn't girly. I didn't hug Pinkie... who did not threaten to shoot me with her pistol. I did not hug Foxy for protection before realizing- I don't handle FNAF well.
The room grew dark, being illuminated by the TV and the magic and electronic flashlights we have.
"Hello, my name is Giffany." The pink haired girl introduced as six shadows appeared behind her. The screen glitched as her face almost appeared to melt, but that fixed itself. "I'm looking for a NEW PET."
"KIRBY, GET OVER HERE!!!" Giffany shouted, hanging up an outdated cellphone. She glared at us from behind the screen. "So, who is ready TO LOVE ME?!" Her faced melted briefly before fixing.
She somehow magic'ed the laptop behind her TV before punching the glass that kept her from the real world. She then used her other hand to sever Sombra's horn, absorbing it through the screen.
I took out my RYNO, wondering why I never thought to take it out before. I fired rockets and bullets as animatronics deflected the onslaught to the TV.
"You will DIE!" she screamed.
I tossed a Copybot, "Rouge! Her laptop!" The Copybot nodded as it took the form of a blue Rouge the Bat, who ran into the darkness.
"I don't have time for this." Giffany muttered as she began to glow green. She punched her screen again, but her fist phased through. Pulling it back and inspecting it, her grin grew. She crawled out of the screen, her left foot crushing dead Sombra's skull in. ew. "Equestria will fall!"
She grew into a giant, but not too big to touch the throne room ceiling.
"Activating censor." Cortana informed as we looked up.
Giffany glowed, her only unglowing spot was actually an illusion the censor made.
"Hey Gif, program some pants!" Cortana shouted from my helmet as I forced Freddy into a nearby wall.
She programed some pink "pants" before punting O. Conners across the room. While her leg returned to rest, Rouge climbed up the outside of her skirt before finally reaching her face to kick. Giffany screamed as she attempted to chunk Rouge to the ground only for her to land on the hand and punch her face. That went on for a few minutes while Golden Fredbear's head chased everyone like PAC-MAN.
O. Conners recovered, tossing PlushTrap at the bear head. He aimed his Cortana at the huge box TV, displaying six angry spirits in a classroom. He fired, the laser loading Cortana into the classroom.
From Cortana's point of view, the spirit were not angry or restless. They were happily talking with each other before looking over at her.
"Well, yer hot." a cowboy soul said before a chef soul elbowed him. "Hey, its true!"
The red soul rolled its eyes, "Let's cut to the chase: What did you do with Giffany? She seemed... off. Then poof! Here you are!"
"I don't think I follow. Giffany is currently hurting my friends! She is in the real world-"
"Let me stop ya there, sweet cheeks. Are you saying this world is fake?"
"Well, we're random children from different time periods with no connection to Japan... inside an anime classroom." a soul with a toy replied. "Now: What's wrong with our friend?"
"Well, she just absorbed the dark magic within King Sombra's horn, is using the King to wage war on Princesses Celestia and Cadense, is possessing one of the darkest group of machines in existence, and was going commando." Cortana activated a tea protocol, pouring herself a glass as she took a seat. To the kids, the tea defied the laws of gravity. "Oh, and she used that war to ruin lives."
"The commando part wasn't- HEY!"
Chef tossed Cowboy's hat away, "I was aware of her obsession with her new boyfriend. Usually it borders on creepy, but..." he paused. "This one is different."
The whole visit took a nano-second before Cortana returned. "Oscar, you need to complement her!"
"What are you doing back?!"
"Long story, but she was just as much Sombra's victim as he was her's. Also, the animatronics... might have made her friends upset. Circle of pain crap." she replied.
"Good to hear!" I said over the comm.s, "Rouge, fall back!"
"Alright, if you're sure." she left her Copybot as it compressed and returned to my inventory.
I hopped over a Chicka, dodged Mangled, tossed Balloon Boy out of my face, winded the music box, punted Golden Freddy, and crushed PlushTrap under my boot before firing a grappling hook at her bow on her chest, pulling myself with enough speed to switch to the WIND element and floated at eye-level.
She went to grab me but stopped. "Wha- What did you say?!"
"Even though you're trying to kill me, I believe you and your friends deserve better than anything Sombra could give you." I said, opening my Iron Man mask. "I can't give you riches, but I can give you adventure and more friends. As well as my friendship."
"Ummm..."
"I also have a Copybot you can use if you're willing to share."
"Is that how that bat girl showed up?"
"Yes. Oh, wow, you have very sparkly eyes."
Fluttershy tilted her head as Rarity demanded, "DID HE JUST END OUR WAR... with... kindness?!"
I flew up to her, pointing at Fluttershy then Rarity, "And Generosity-" I pointed at Apple Jack, who sent Toy Bonnie flying. "-Honesty-" My finger moved over to Rainbow and Pinkie, knocking animatronics back with their combined bullets. "-and a promise of Loyalty and Laughter." Then I pointed at Twilight. "Friendship is Magic... or... something."
Giffany's scream echoed as she flew back inside of the TV, leaving behind a digital shell. It slowly changed shape, becoming a humanoid Sombra with metal claws and glowing eyes and a huge grin and... spiked plant vines? "FoRgEtTiNg SoMePoNy-?"
His body blew up as Maud fired a canon round in his face. "Boom; headshot." she said in her monotone. "The castle is about to explode. One of the slaves armed the place with a crystal nuke in the shape of a heart. It was poorly cut."
I quickly grabbed Sombra's laptop and took out Giffany's disc, placing it inside my armor. "That's not a nuke."
"What?" Maud asked, blinking.
The room filled itself in white light as the empire purified itself as well as Equestria. All damage to everybody's wardrobe and armor repaired itself as ponies crystalized and nonponies glowed.
"Hey! My voice is pink!" Giffany cheered from my helmet. "Anyway, my friends want to thank you- Can you hear us?"
"I can you, Giffany, loud and clear."
"Anyway, they're going to give you their power. Check out your new heart meter." I looked down to a dull heart shape over where my heart would be.
"What the buck is happening to me?!" Twilight screamed as she squirmed.
O. Conners studied his upgraded right hand. "Looks like large amounts of light magic."
"Power of love, dang it." I replied. "Friendship turns you to stone. Love destroys your enemies if they're evil. It killed Sombra."
"*Oscar, your work is done." A portal opened up, allowing me to leave just as Twilight began shrieking to the heavens.
"Alright," a cool voice started, "Wake him up, Giffany."
"Wait, I thought it was G-Man's job to wake him up! Why me?" The digital voice of Giffany demanded.
"Well, somebody got in a hissy fit and limited Sombra's usefulness the morning of the mission." the voice replied.
There was silence, "What about Sarah?"
"Does it sound like we have time to talk?!" a tiny voice shrilled. "G-Man is currently delivering the armor, Sarah is overlooking the mission, and we have you floating over the guy who isn't awake yet. Isn't he your best friend or something?"
"I only knew him for a couple of days!" Giffany yelled, "Besides, I can't crack the encryption beyond 'read the walls'."
"'Read the walls'?" Tiny voice asked, "Like the binary code, here?"
"Scanning," cool reacted, "Are you serious?" *TAP TAP TAP.* "Navi, ETA on that super suit."
"It's down the hall," the tiny voice, Navi, replied. "Why do you need to know?"
"Plan B hinges on the Great Fandom Man," cool said. "Awake Great Fandom Man! Arise! Strike down on- the rest is corrupted. Great!" TOM 5 turn around as the doors flew open. A management rail guided a claw holding a white pod, giving chase to several venom-powered Unggoy. "Now we have to deal with overly muscular Grunts!"
A Pokeball flew past TOM's head, releasing an Eevee that dropped kick the first Grunt, back flipped, ran up the downed Grunt for a flaming headbutt to another Grunt before ending its string of attacks with an ice beam before falling to the ground and returning to its ball. The frozen enemies began to break the ice, roaring in anger.
A red haired teen wearing a white jumpsuit and blue scouter kissed the ball before pocketing it. He stroked his beard, wincing, then checked the pod. "They busted the armor!" he complained before forcing his fist into the opening on top, " And Eevee Mon is down! Great!" It seemed was about to acknowledge TOM when his features changed to frustration. "And my hand is stuck! Whoopty friggin' doo! You know what? I'm not going to question anything because THIS is ticking me off!"
A blue light engulfed him, turning him into something familiar to TOM.
Navi turned to the monster, "Why do you look like Cell from Dragon Ball Z?"
"Let's just say..." his tails wiggled, "I'm a nonlethal version of Cell, I got his DNA without drinking anybody. But no. The Cell I met had to be a jerk about it and I am rambling. I am hungry. And I hate HALO 5 so how about I break in the new form?" He vanished as the Grunts got past the ice wall, swinging for TOM and the two holographic fairies with him.
Cell appeared behind the first Grunt, rapidly drinking him as lasers flew from his eyes, slicing the other Grunts in seconds. "...I don't remember Cell having laser eyes."
"Well, maybe it's because this base form is the embodiment of an omnitrix while Perfect Cell is the embodiment of the ultimatrix." a new voice chimed in.
"Looks like Cortana's back."
"And if you want full restoration of systems," Cell blocked the attack of the few sliced Grunts that could still fight. "I recommend using more energy based attacks."
"Doesn't that waste energy?" TOM asked, providing cover fire with his Nerf gun looking rifle.
"FALCON KICK!" Cell delivered said attack, almost clearing the only exit. "Nope! The Ultimatrix has an upgrade for absorbing energies so I don't have too much collateral to worry about." He brought his hands together... and made one clap.
"Semi-Perfect Cell has your muscle," Rouge said, booting up.
"Great, you woke her up."
Rouge made some typing noise, "Crap! I can't find it!"
"Find what?" TOM asked, throwing a grenade.
"Where I asked for her opinion." Cell's plate flashed as he upgraded to a four-armed Semi-Perfect Cell. "Though seriously, where's Giffany?"
"Over here!" Giffany replied, floating into the ultimatrix to be downloaded. "Systems updating and armor repair is ready!"
"Execute!" Cortana commanded as TOM was rescued by Semi-Perfect Cell, who tossed him aside.
"Hey, Grunts! Don't mess with Oscar Conners a.k.a. Fandom Man a.k.a. ME!" Semi-Perfect Cell shouted in his deep voice, moving his arms to his sides as he shouted, "Ka! Me! Ha! Me! Haaadokin!" Both arms thrust forward with charged energy, firing two ki blasts that intermingled into a swirling blue ball of death. His wings buzzed as he began to float, "Robobro, lead the way!"
"My name is TOM 5 and this is Navi," TOM introduced nervously.
"And we're watching Toonami, now I'm thinking Arby's and I believe you're paying, right?"
"G-Man, bring the ship into position," TOM said before addressing the situation, "Follow me, our food court has you accommodated."
"Thanks."
They ran through the crater where a S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier was waiting, wearing the colors of Princess Luna. Oscar held TOM with his bottom arms, flying to the ship.
"Speed it up, hero! The ultimatrix is about to restart!" Rouge warned. Oscar nodded, flying faster and crashing into the Helicarrier.
TOM 5 got out of his grasp, assessing the damage as Oscar turned back to normal. His helmet resembled a Power Ranger's helmet while his body looked similar to Megaman X and Iron Man. His right wrist had an odd watch on it, his right hand had a Green Lantern ring, a violet Star Sapphire ring, an odd gray ring from the index to ring fingers. On his other wrist was a band with a strange stone, below it an odd glove. His armor was white with off-set of blue lights at the edge of each section. He wore a utility belt with a gun holstered on one hip and one Pokeball on the other.
When TOM finished his assessment, he turned to Oscar bouncing from foot to foot freaking out. "What's wrong?"
"OK, can you tell me where the restroom is at- Oh!" He gave TOM the pokeball, "Can you take Eevee Mon to the Mess Hall or whatever?"
"...uh, sure?"
"WHERE'S THE TOILET?!"
"DOWN THE HALL, MAKE A LEFT, AND NEXT TO THE ELEVATOR IS A MAP OF THE CLOSEST FACILITIES!" TOM screamed back, startled. A blue and black DeadPool walked up to the cardboard cut out of Fandom Man and tossed him off the Helicarrier. "What?!"
FandomPool turned back into a helmetless and clean shaven Oscar. "OK, so I just abused time and magic. Is there a problem?" TOM just stood there, holding Eevee Mon's pokeball. Oscar took back Eevee Mon, "Yeah... uh... I'm going to make sure Eevee Mon doesn't die... sooo... I'll be seeing you at the debriefing? Yes? Yes." He walked off, gaining mixed looks from onlookers.
"Eeeeeevee Mooon~. Wake up~. Please don't die on me~!"
"Oscar!" Cortana shouted, offended.
"Hey, it's not my fault. I didn't tell him to attack the Bane-Grunts," I replied, still shaking Eevee Mon. "Which was awesome, I'm not going to lie. You know what would be more awesome? Getting, at least, the popcorn machine running and- On second thought, getting the Eevium Z and seeing the effects of it first hand would be cool."
"Since we're talking 'pokemanz', where's our other five?" Rouge asked, the projector on the ultimatrix showing a hologram of five empty slots. "And how did Giffany become a fairy?!"
"You mean my hard light holographic fairy form?" Giffany began, "Go to TOM and ask Sarah."
"Girls, I think Eevee Mon is dying," I said, concerned. I mean, he's like my Pikachu to my Ash! My Dark Magician to my Yugi Moto! My Old Yeller to- I have not seen Old Yeller. Heard it's a story you don't want to put down.
"No. I just head butted a brick wall." Eevee Mon muttered, his tiny paws gripping his head.
I got up from my seat and slapped a health pack against Eevee Mon's face, "Sorry little buddy..."
Eevee Mon got up, stretching himself awake, "You know there are other ways to administer-"
"Good, your pet is fine. Now can we hurry?!" Jorgen Von Strangle asked, spinning his massive wand. "Everyone is finding out why they're here. I am currently in the position to offer your leave before I have to use more force than necessary."
"Can we at least take the food?" I asked. He cocked his wand, the star glowing as I moved Eevee Mon, his food, and my broken gear into my inventory. I rolled forward, turning into tiny white metal aliens dressed like Equestria Girls Vinyl Scratch: DJ Echo Echo. In mid-roll I split into five Echos, running around Jorgen's knees. As we ran, two Echos used a rope to bind his feet while another Echo multiplied into a counterweight of Echos before forming back into one, laughing as he ran. "Eat my shorts!" Two others down the hall added, "And bite my shiny metal-"
One Echo patted his head, "Sorry sir, I tend to have bad ideas. Might happen again."
Throughout the announcement, I kept reminding myself of my place as guest within the flying fortress... mostly filled with pairs of identical ponies. I found the meeting room and entered it.
"...and I would like to address the banana currently rampaging in the training room and why we're not rescuing Scootaloo from said training room?" A suited Cookie Monster asked, looking around as his eye met me and the other on Derpy. "Or we can put that on hold as we bring the Great Fandom Man up to speed."
I held two fingers, "Let me add a couple things: I am not 'the Great'; leave that for Trixie. I have limited access to my OP gear, which is having maintenance so if you hear bubble wrap it is likely the suit's dimensions reacquainting itself to my body." I then took a seat, "With that said: what's with the rampaging banana, I hear?"
Cookie shook his head, "Nothing, I hope." He took his seat next to Mayor McCheese as a brown dog man in Halo 3 Master Chief Armor walked up to the front, he wore a white rabbit head back pack with crazy sharp teeth that held a katana.
"Hello, I am Samuel Jackson of the Interdimensional Helicarrier Luna-01. This vessel is the second of it's kind. We are not under any banner being the last ship to survive the merging and period of corruption within this Equestria. How the Hell did we survive? We don't know so just chalk it up to magic."
"Or plot convenience," TOM 5 said, looking bored by how his head is in his hand.
"Yes. Yes." Samuel sighed, "Alright, so quick question: Are you a Brony or are you aware of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic?"
I shrugged, "I am aware of key events are least..."
"Update: There's going to be a My Little Pony Movie." Rouge spoke up.
"It's called Equestria Girls. There's four of them." Samuel nodded.
"They made two more?" I asked.
"She means before or after Season 7 there's an PONY MOVIE. Johnny boy got William the OG Captain Kirk to voice a character," Giffany added, "We're making bets on if it's The Storm King or the Hippogriff."
Link shouted. I think he placed his bet on the Storm King..?
Ratchet Gyro stood up, "Repeating roll call! Ratchet and Lank. We're both here."
Link screamed with a nod.
"Captain Cookie Monster?"
There was some screaming as the monster in question looked out the door. "Continue as if I were here; the banana slipped past our defenses!" He closed the door on his way out, shot gun fire was heard and an unholy roar was cut off.
"Mr. McCheese?"
"Here," the goofy sounding sandwich man said. He grabbed the pickle from his purple suit, returning it to his head.
"Samuel Jackson and Maxwell," Ratchet continued.
"Maxwell is dead, you jerk," Samuel said.
"Don't care. TOM 5 is always here. Fandom Man showed up. Toriel?"
"Do you want to know how I got these scars?" the goat lady asked me from my right. Her face looking familiar.
"From Bat Man?"
"No, Princess Luna! But I'm still her biggest fan!" she replied with glee. "Though, I need help with my makeup from time to time," she added, showing me her robot arm.
Ratchet ended off with, "Mayor Popeye, Snow, and General Elmo will not be here. Their doctors say they're in a coma; I say they're napping."
"General Elmo is in a coma?" I asked. "At least he's still around."
"We're tuned into radio-" Cortana was cut off by a loud squeal.
"The banana got Jorgen! Game over, man! Game-"
"That's enough radio."
"Can we focus on debriefing?!" Samuel exclaimed. "Alright, so here's a quick rundown of events: A new Equestria from out of nowhere shows up to merge with our Equestria before Twilight and Spike can stop Starlight Glimmer. Some effects were fixed while others were not so there are two of everybody except major villains, there are five versions to the Elements of Harmony except Twilight and Spike. There are three of them each. Princess Celestia is more competent ever since fusing with her other self. Luna has two heads, one good and one evil who are in true harmony and control a butt-shaped moon."
"OK...?" I scooted my chair to my left an inch.
TOM 5 took Samuel's place up front, "Then the snap happened. After three years of this... both Equestrias locked themselves together. Not everypony has a double now and all the bearers of the Elements of Harmony sans the Twilights merged into one of each pony, making the new versions loose canons. Especially Rainbow Dash and PTSD Pinkie Pie. Everything was harmless if you were an Equestrian but it was almost a warzone for Displace! Survival of the fittest and such. Things got so bad that we were sent out of the universe and back inside with half of us surviving reentry and some more being destroyed by changelings riding dragons."
"Changelings riding dragons?" I asked.
"We shot those guys out of the sky. Though, when changelings began to share their love... the world became corrupted."
"How?"
"Almost every race became a pirate and started a pirate war. We decided to look for some space pirates and rescued Displaced. Apparently, we have to thank your Shiny Shenron for the safe merging and finding you!" TOM fininshed, taking his seat. "If you have any questions: ask around. Otherwise meeting adjourned; get out of my room."
I looked back to see half of the table flip, revealing a cot with a folding chair underneath.
"Jorgen! You are the banana king!" a pink and a blue unicorn cheered around the half-banana fairy. Music was about to play but was cut off when Jorgen crushed their speakers with his massive wand.
"And I can still break bear skull with open hand," he replied. "Leave before it's peanut butter jelly TIME TO DIE!" He exaggerated the last syllables with his boots, getting into a battle stance with his wand twirling behind him.
*VRRR VRRR VRRR* [Red Alert; this is not a drill. Rebel changelings are attacking. Dragon Lord Ember has requested that we spare the dragons and let them fall from the sky and if we see baby dragons: save them. They can't recover from a fall.]
I turned to Eevee Mon, back to his second form: A tall, bipedal Eevee. "Are you up for a fight?"
"I can't fly."
"You can hijack a dragon."
"I can't fly."
"You can use your flames as jets and fly like Iron Man, right?" I asked hopefully.
"I can't fly."
"What if I get Cortana or somebody to DNA Digivolve?"
"Let's see them recover from the fall!" he shouted, holding his paw out.
At the hangar entrance, I get down on my hands as Eevee Mon hops off my back and begins to twirl.
"Eevee Mon! Giffany! Jack In: DNA Digivolve!" I pointed the Ultimatrix at Eevee Mon as a pink light shot out. "Wait, can that form even fly?"
He quickly resembled Sylveon as large pink wings shot from his back. The rest of his body glowed pink as he floated in the air in a lavender aura... and the Giffany's outfit formed over the Sylveon. The pink shoes grew into boots and their back held twin rose katanas with heart hilts.
"Quick! Who are you?" I ask, front flipping into the sky before my cape's magic kicked in.
"Sylveon Mon. Let's keep it simple... also I'm a girl for once." Sylveon Mon said in her double voice, not waiting to punch the nearest changeling off their dragon. "I feel very angry..."
I reach into my holster, grabbing my modified Shnee Dust Co. Revolver Magnum. I spun the barrel, checking my dust stores before loading my infinity clip into the gun. "Hey, buggies! Let's play RWBY Roulette! Dodge my attacks-" a nanobot hooked to the pistol rapidly spun the barrel, "-while I guess what hits!"
"Fire!" The changeling flew off a dragon, encased in ice. "Gravity!" A rock formed, smashing two changelings off their dragons. "Thunder!" Lightning struck the two recovering flying changelings, arcing and transferring to others. "Yeah, this game is overrated."
My attention suddenly focused on a flying Pewdiepie. He opened his eyes at my direction, "Sup broski."
"Sup? Are you really Pewdiepie?"
"Not the original; no." He replied. He quickly turned to a blonde girl in a blue body suit, too thin to be a coat of paint, surrounded by the offending bugs on dragons. "Yo Empowered! Never let go go go! Never give up up up! Never let go! Never-" She was then bound and gagged to a stick, carried off by two changelings. "You let go! Again! Break the system Emp! Be beyond your character!" He held out his fist as Empowered glowed a bright yellow and destroyed everything in her wake.
"BROFIST!!!" They both exclaimed, causing our foes to either explode or faint off their mounts.
I tapped Emp's shoulder, "Can I get a sample from your suit?"
"No! One tear and I lose most of my powers! Besides, only I can use it...."
I looked up and down, "I don't think another tear will matter."
"I studied the sample. Initializing suit upgrade for Empowered and Fandom Man." Cortana droned, showering us with light. My armor didn't change appearance-wise but Emp was sporting a less provocative and better fitting suit that made her resemble Samus Aran more. "Your suit is less fragile, has better regeneration, gives more protection, and allows flight. The other rules still apply; take them down!"
Empowered smiled as she flew off, returning with Turbo Cybug King Candy in a choke hold. "News flash: Most of the changelings were not rebels."
Sylveon Mon returned pouting, "Blood is in my soul..."
Pewdiepie nodded, "Moment of silence for the innocent." We all closed our eyes, ignoring Turbo's struggles and the sound of a phone. We opened our eyes as Pewds hung up his cell, "Mercy, Medic, and Jorgen are conducting "Operation Heros Never Raze" as we speak. All healers will be called... as for Candy, here." He held his fist as Emp forced Turbo's closed clawed fist to meet. "Judge, jury, and prosecution deems the Nightmare Guilty. Sentence: Death. The Host Guilty. Sentence: a month in the brig."
The monster screamed as King Candy dressed as Turbo with bug wings and armor followed Felix to the brig.
"...and so we made a race of Cyborg Changelings, who may never learn to love, and a race of changelings made mostly of love and light. Go, team." Captain Cookie Monster said, his debriefing once again too long to listen to. "Not our goal but Rodney Copperbottom and Cave Jetson have crunched the numbers. We still have no idea what we are doing besides being higher than Cloudsdale physically and drug-wise inside quarantine areas."
"There's weed up here?!" Rouge exclaimed, loud enough.
"Equestria has a more potent plant which resembles poison joke unless you compare the two under sunlight. Somebody made 'Dopey bombs' in the most vital areas. Assuming they weren't affected, we're holding up an honor system while the security room airs out or we get somebody not recovering from an addiction."
Captain Cookie looked... baffled? As baffled as a derpy muppet could be. "You made the dopey bombs or are you here to trek into-"
The bear held a megaphone up to the brain, "Equestria is glitching! Get into positions and if you don't have one: get ready for a fight!"
The ship got dark as green lights flashed. Lines on the walls lit up as people followed their designated colors with very few panicking and others complaining. Giffany's face appeared in the top right of my visor, once I activated my helmet. "Alright, I recommend we assist the helicarrier. The last glitch really did a number on the integrity-"
Giffany was replaced by a purple candy skull that downloaded some programs. "Yes, I'm still holding a grudge on Gif Girl. No, I am not hacking you... mostly. I heard you were not one for space so I hope you don't mind my additions." Sombra's influence reached the Ultimatrix, cycling through my many forms before landing on Ben 10 Alien: Upgrade. "Hello? Looks like I am hacking you... until you can handle this new "Upgrade" form. Boop!"
I fell to the ground as purple hexagons covered my arm, then my torso, and finally my everything as the world turned purple.
Sombra lifted his arms up and down before walking in a circle and having him jump a few times with the third jump making Fandom Man spat against the ground. "I can work with this," their voice said, synchronizing. They got up and walked over to an electric lock, touching the system improved the lock, the door, and it's security. "Ultimatrix: Form Lock." The purple-blue flickering face plate sank into its ring before being covered by metal from the ring.
Sombra's voice was heard throughout the ship, hacked Fandom Man repeated the words to them self in perfect sync. [Attention everybody! Do not be alarmed when Fandom Man possesses the ship in our joint effort! You'll know when we do so.]
Sombra returned to controlling Fandom Man, allowing him to melt and spread all over the ship. His metal plate sank into the techno mass and reappeared next to Sombra where four Upgrade heads spawned out around the plate. Their lights glowed as such: One white, blue, light blue, and pink. The white one looked around frantically as Sombra announced her self-proclaimed temporary control of the helicarrier, that began firing photon torpedos at chunks of reality and evil clouds.
"Did you really need to hack us?" Cortana, the blue head, demanded.
"Did Gif Girl need to destroy my tech before we could rescue you?" Sombra asked.
Oscar, Cortana, and Rouge turned their blob heads to Giffany's blob head, "What? Well, I'm NOT apologizing!"
[Sombra, you have to see this!] Samuel Jackson exclaimed on their radio.
A storm formed, bringing a tornado that snapped like a whip and spazzed like a snake on crack. Within the storm, lightning of different colors and some sweeping blurs could be spotted. The storm raged on but our enhanced shields could not prepare for the blurs colliding several times. A microphone formed in front of my face, "Hello? Is this on? Good. Brace for impact!" The helicarrier fell before shooting back up into position, "If you don't wanna die: please stay down. I repeat, "If you don't wanna die: please stay down." We're gonna have a problem here."
Sombra turned away from her screen, "Parody Rangers have been dispatched."
"Parody Rangers?" Rouge asked, tilting her head.
"Cancer Power Rangers, now called Medical Power Rangers and STD Power Rangers," Sombra answered, still typing on her keyboard.
There was a minute of silence, broken by Sombra typing on her keyboard and the chaos outside. "You mean SPD Power Rangers, right?" Cortana asked.
Giffany coughed, "That's the Rangers they parody. Medical Power Rangers were people dressing up for a good cause while the bigger and less appropriate group of Rangers are idiots and some guy they found off the street. On the bright side, the Medical Power Rangers actually have a White Ranger that's a flight EMT with the Air Transport helicopter Zord."
Five nurses in scrubs of their corresponding Ranger color and an EMT basic with his white and blue uniform reach the deck in synchronized speed. They stare out menacingly at the storm. Red Ranger shouts, "It's Morphing Time!" The group points their stethoscopes ahead of them.
"Life Guard!" He wore his red suit with a big, white plus on his chest. He had a whistle hanging from his neck. He had an orange life preserver on his back.
"Surgeon!" He wore a white surgeon mask over his helmet and a white plus on his chest. In one holster was a larger-than-necessary scalpel and a stapler in the other.
"Pediatrician!" She matched the Blue Ranger, except she wore white pants, didn't have a mask, her holsters had a syringe and candy. She wore a large, black stethoscope around her neck and over the white plus on her chest. Her unbuttoned lab coat flapped in the wind.
"Veterinarian!" She matched Pink Ranger but she has a skirt instead of pants and had just a syringe in one holster. Where the other holster should be was a lasso. Her lab coat was partially buttoned so the plus was seen.
"Paramedic!" He wore white pants with a black stripe on the sides. He had a black medical bag on his back and a shiny white watch. His stethoscope was hooked on one hip while his shear shredders were on his other leg, next to his pen light and cloth wraps.
The White Ranger held up two signal lights flashing red, "Flight Medic!" He practically looked the same except he had a white helmet with a headset microphone sticking out of the left side of his head, he had bright blue gloves, and his black boots were much higher. On his chest, a blue star of life sparkled.
Steam of their colors rose behind them with excessive sparkles followed by the Rangers posing dramatically.
Another group, this time having eight were running funny and stumbling over each other when they stopped, accompanied by a dirty, drunk guy that tossed his empty beer bottle at the storm that tossed it back at his feet. He swept the glass away with his foot, holding his arms out for balance. The group got up, holding out Morphing Badges with a dispencer on the side and with the skill of a scared pig and a mad cow they shouted, "STD! Emergency, man!"
Black Medic Ranger sighed as he shook his head, "Who invited these guys?!"
"Have you met them before?" White Medic Ranger asked, getting slow nods. "Are they based of the disease or the act of getting the disease?"
Red Medic Ranger held White Medic Ranger's attention, "Let me get this over with so we can stay focused. Red Sex, Pink STD Ranger is a random drunk hobo guy they found on the street, the guy and girl twins: Blue Incest-"
"I don't want to know."
Pink Medic Ranger hugged herself, "Do you think their Mega Zord is tame, now?"
White tilted his head, "Tame?"
Yellow Medic Ranger added, "We had to rebuild our Zords and embed them with the blood of a dying unicorn."
Blue pulled out a vial, "I have a vial if you want to perform the blood ritual on your Zord."
Oscar stared at the screen, "So we have a Mega Zord ramming the storm and the decent Rangers are dancing around a giant, white and gray helicopter."
The Mega Zord blew up as the blurs crashed through the shield and onto the deck, cameras revealing Rainbow Dash pinning down Spit Fire. Behind them the storm cleared and the glitch was over.
Sombra's finger hovered over a button, "Returning Ultimatrix controls in... 3... 2... Boop!"
My blob head turned purple as the other's blob heads were assimilated. My head sank into the floor cas my influence left the helicarrier, reforming me next to Rainbow Dash and Spit Fire as I returned to normal.
"Stop squirming S**t Fire!" Rainbow demanded, her metallic wings giving off a rainbow sheen in the sunlight. "Admit that you're my Wonder B-"
"Am I missing something, Dashie?" I ask, removing my helmet.
She looked up, "Hello and screw you; this isn't your beef."
"I dunno... you guys almost killed everyone on this ship. Your beef is this ship's beef and by extension... my beef. Now, should I tenderize the beef or let it stew?" I ask, holding out my dust revolver by the barrel. "Now then, what in tarnation-"
"I'm leader of the Wonderbolts, Dash! You're still not my rank or above!" Spit Fire shouted, her head dodging a punch from Rainbow.
I place my gun over Rainbow's hoof, "Rainbow Dash, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown for the fate of Spit Fire and the Mantis Flip Coin I expertly left under your hoof!"
"What?!" She lifted her hoof, revealing nothing as my hand with the coin quickly held the bottom of her hoof, the Mantis Flip Coin glowing. "You little sh-"
"We will be shooting down waves of Aperture Mantis Men with revolvers, a butterfly knife, and infinite ammo." I state, quickly, "Whoever finds the Mantis Man with the Mantis Flip Coin wins. We are allowed only one special weapon."
My armor was replaced with the Mighty Morphin' Blue Power Ranger's suit with inverted colors, my ultimatrix with no added gadgets, and a white cloak billowing behind as I rose the hood above my helmet.
Rainbow Dash wore a Wonderbolt Flight suit with tears on the joints and around the neck.
As the sun fell and black and white plates formed out of reality-breaking metal arms, the butt-shaped moon illuminated the test chamber filled with Mantis Men hunched over as if praying. Our weapons fell at out feet and hooves: a revolver, a butterfly knife, ten magic gold bullets, and our choosen special weapons.
I holstered my weapons and held out a silver ring with light blue energy flying inside the ring. I extended the ultimatrix dial and placed the ring around the face and pushed down. The ultimatrix extended into a light blue armor that covered my arm, hand, and part of my back as one black bat wing extended out from under the cloak. "Rouge: Active. DNA Weapon Program: Active." I flexed my arms, spun my arm, then made a random pose that caused green smoke to billow behind me... for some reason.
Rainbow's special weapon flew in from with a sonic rainboom, embedding the blade in the ground. Rainbow Dash bit down on the hilkt, revealing a modified version of her keyblade. Twin rainbow lightning bolts extended from a cloud-guard surrounding the handle. Rainbow spun the keyblade with her control over it, causing the miniature Loyalty Element to embed itself into the guard as another blade extended from the other end Darth Maul style. "What are going to do with that arm? Punch the freaks?"
My armored arm shifted into a mechanical version of Wolverine's arm, his three blades spiking out over my wrist before melting into Diamond Head's arm. "I can do that," I reply just as a Mantis Man knocked me over. My diamond arm shifted into a katana shape that decapitated two Mantis Men and the legs of a third as I pushed with my feet to slide back to a wall while firing my revolver and missing most of the shots.
"You're really bad at this." Rouge commented, rudely.
I held out my diamond arm, rapidly firing my tatenite shards into the heads of several mutants. "I'm not a lefty, Sugarcoat- I mean, Rouge." I got up, tossed my revolver at Rainbow's face which bounced off, killing her target and sliding the gun to the ground. I quickly ran over, grabbing the revolver and firing more rounds before tossing it up, bringing my knife to my left hand, ready to use and catching my revolver to no scope three bugs before holstering my gun.
Rainbow flew around, slicing more mantis men than I shot down due to fast flying, her keyblade orbiting her and moving at her command, and the knife she held in her mouth allowed her to grab a mantis man arm and wield it as a fourth blade. When my revolver bounced off her face, she dropped her knife and mantis arm. "Screw this!" She flew around the room, building speed as lightning arched at random points of the room and wind speed is increasing as Rainbow Dash becomes a rainbow blur with her keyblade spinning in front of her like a saw blade. "You're in my way!"
I grabbed Rainbow's revolver and began firing at the sharp body parts flying towards me and my left gun's bullets as I begin to float off the ground. When my left gun's bullets were hit, they would ricochet off each other and into more mantis men parts that will not cut me. My right arm shifted to a metal Sandslash arm, meant to split the one living mantis man in half but instead sand shot out.
Rainbow Dash's rainbow storm and the sand got so bad that miniature sonic sand rainbooms formed around as multicolored light cascaded and music began to play. Rainbow flew around, searching for the Mantis Flip Coin to end the match but she didn't expect a magical sneak attack.
I held my arm out as it became a dark blue, clawed hand with blue armor plating. My batwing extended as a long black unicorn horn extended from my shoulder with a starry aura. "You activated my trap!" My hand glowed with a bright, magical aura that summoned every Mantis Man arm to point and home in on Rainbow Dash. "Now for another test!" My dark magic covered me as I became a purple mist... that was instantly destroyed by the Darude Rainboom Sandstorm.
Rainbow looked around as the blades stopped following her. She saw a twinkle hit her eye, despite her goggles protecting her eyes and flew down to grab the coin but what she grabbed was a fully armored Fandom Man holding a green card with a grid picture over the description.
"You activated my trap card! Matrix Ex Machina!"
"How?!"
"While the Xiaolin Showdown began, I actually picked my ultimatrix as my special weapon and changed into my Perfect Cell form but I learned... it was too Perfect as I had the powers of Alien X, Discord, Q, Mask, any alicorn, Freakazoid, Dead Pool, etc. So I used my powers to change our physical location to a pocket dimension located in a Duel Monsters card I made because I could.
"I then created my DNA Weapon Program because I wasn't a fan of using a symbiote as a weapon. I could stay perfect but where's the fun in that? Also, this is just a BS explanation made by the author to make me sound OP. This is my story and my author is my hype man so stretching my truth or making things up on the fly- I wanted to see your skills so I kept the Showdown and temporarily ban hammered the ultimatrix in exchange of using my new weapon that I may not use again.
"Also, Spitfire can have a good head start while our real fight began."
"I did not understand half of that," she replied, confused.
"I cheated." I slammed down on my ultimatrix as the DNA Weapon System deactivated. My body floated into the air as I wore my casual clothes with pink butterfly wings forming from my back and pink circles formed on my cheeks. I summoned my keyblade and my copy of the Mewni Royal Magic Wand, merging them into the "Mewni Molder" keyblade while summoning a second keyblade merged with Samurai Jack's sword forming "the Sacred-Samurai" keyblade. "But now want you to hit me with your best shot. Give me everything you got before I decide to return the favor."
Her wings flared, "The hay, man?!"
"You're right. Tell me why you're attacking Spitfire and this will be for fun rather than stalling."
"Stalling?!"
"My Perfect Cell gave my One Punch a stun option... and I want to test it."
Rainbow locked eyes with me, "Spitfire should stand down. How is the leader of the Wonderbolts, the second greatest flying team, supposed to protect Equestria and regain their status as "the best" if I have to save her during every battle?"
"Second greatest?"
"In order from worth to best: Shadowbolts, Sonic Rainbooms, Rainbooms South, Wonderbolts, and The Equestrian Airforce Prime." Her wings folded as she stood straight, "They gained competition ever since the merge with the Rainbooms being named after me but because I wasn't their leader they split into rival factions."
"That's... cool?" I lowered my keyblades then dodged as Rainbow's kick missed my head. I blinked and missed her moving as the after image of her standing in front of me faded. I ducked, jump, and spun as I blocked Rainbow's keyblade with Sacred-Samurai before firing three fireballs with Mewni Molder. I watched as the fireballs disappeared, flying in my direction. With that, I backflip away from a buck and tried to reach for my ultimatrix but she punched my hand away, forcing Mewni Molder to be at the mercy of my mental control of it. Rainbow dodged the backstab that I barely dodged and caused Dash to make the mistake of flying into it. "Cortana! XLR8!"
"You will not be allowed to use the Mewni Molder keyblade- You already know that."
As I changed, my block with the Mewni Molder fell through as Rainbow punched my face directly. I flew back a distance but as my feet hit the ground, I zipped behind her as she caught up to me but she was above me yet she hit what wasn't there anymore. Nobody was hitting anybody as our after images flooded the area, "Time to use Viewtiful Joe's gift!"
"That you got... how?" Rouge asked.
"Perfect Cell Plot Convenience!" I shouted, holding the ultimatrix with my claw. "Henshin A Go Go, Bro!"
"Changing to appropriate form: Fasttrack," Cortana shouted as a white and blue body suit formed and two spikes formed a V on the ultimatrix. My helmet formed over my face as a long, thin cape flowed behind me. I struck a pose for too long as I was bodied by Rainbow Dash... five- no- six times. "Move it, Oscar!"
I dodged an attack in front and blocked two attacks from my sides at the same time while dodging other strikes by Rainbow Dash. Using my film powers, I slowed my vision enough to kick Dashie where she was going to be and punched her chin after her sudden dodge. The fight got so fast and furious that we paused to shoot each other's bullets out of the air before leaping at each other. With my altered perception, we were able to have at least one of us make contact. For once the ultimatrix timed out, leaving me in my normal form and at an interesting time as my increased weight and inability to stop knocked Rainbow Dash to the ground but the left arm of my armor dislocated.
I quickly activated the extra spatial distortion and ejected myself out of the suit and manually fixed the arm before being tossed aside by my armor as the left arm blocked Rainbow Dash's punch, which was a mistake. You touch my unoccupied armor, your fate is sealed. The armor folded over Rainbow Dash, locking her in a standing position as her head wriggled. I stared at her, "Wow. We've reached a stalemate."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes," I replied holding up my coreless omnitrix. "You can't move and can easily take one of my nonenhanced punches... and I'm waiting for my ultimatrix's core to pop out so that I can get my armor back or at least a spare."
Rainbow looked to the sky, "Hey, Conners! I'm done with your body!"
Lightning shot down as Rainbow Dash's eyes turned blue. Rainbow's head began to glow blue as another me with green war paint and a long beard formed. He opened my armor and walked out with his own armor on, wielding a wooden staff with an ultimatrix core built into it. "OK, so Spitfire isn't Spitfire and this is a test. One we had no doubt, you'd best."
We stood back on the helicarrier, surrounded by three other me. Two I recognized as female me and Sombra's timeline me.
Around me were five versions of myself, two I recognized.
Kara Conners the Fantastic Fandom Fighter, my gender bent counterpart from a gender bent Equestria. She is more attuned with magic and seems to have her Iron Man mask lifted, showing her smirk as our brown eyes met. In holographic form was her version of Cortana and Rouge... Zoro (who looks like ProtoMan.EXE) and Shadow the Hedgehog (or Sonic since he's a light blue but who can tell?) were floating next to her head.
Her armor now consisted of a white and blue armored hood, armored pants, rocket wedges, matching white and blue Ultimatrix with Mega Stone and Z Stone slots. She doesn't appear to have lantern rings but she does have web shooters and a holographic projector that's displaying a simple spell tome with "LLEPS NUTS" displayed.
Oscar Conners from the King Sombra timeline... which is corrupt which means something bad should be happening to him, I guess?
His right arm is robotic, he wears a similar armor to what I'm wearing sans having any helmet. He still looks like some crap happened to him, including the new scar under his eyes and across his nose. His ultimatrix is a part of his arm, his Mad Max styled Halo Cortana being displayed over said ultimatrix on his bicep.
The end of his arm shifts into a mini gun megabuster, charging and aimed at me.
The Oscar Conners that posed as Rainbow Dash... sort of? I sensed channeling magic so I was fighting Rainbow Dash... but were the enhancements her own or this Oscar? I am also to assume he is from the Queen Chrysalis timeline from his crude wooden carved green armor.
His wooden ultimatrix staff changed into a wooden keyblade with the ultimatrix core inside a green metal guard along the length of the blade with a silver scythe extending between the twin wooden teeth. His other hand pulled down his tiki mask with glowing green eyes before grabbing a crude, wooden classic Captain America shield with the details finger painted with red paint. According to my Cortana, the ghost of a fallen zebra is chained to his spirit. We assume he is acting as Oscar's guide.
An Oscar Conners with black bat wings, blue ultimatrix, black and blue guard armor with Batman inspiration stood. His left eye billowed with a blue, trailing aura while the other was a regular, bright blue eye. He wore the New Lunar Republic symbol on a blue Pipboy that mirrored his ultimatrix. His side had a knife with a purple ribbon... that he took out as my eyes made contact. The blade separated in half as he hummed Wooden Toaster's "Nightmare Night". That black goatee didn't look good on him.
It was obvious he was from the Nightmare Moon timeline where Nightmare Moon took over the world in everlasting night.
"Hello, I am Oscar the Fandom Guard," he responded, looking over at the screen briefly. "I'll make this quick."
A Princess Celestia-Giffany chibi hybrid floated next to him, wearing Principle Celestia clothes, and fluttering her breezy-like wings, "What are you doing?"
"Nothing, Sunny."
The last was an armored pegasus pony with an artificial horn tube slot, who resembled me. He wore an adapted white and blue Mega Man X Ultimate Armor helmet and had rocket boots as well as a billowing cape. He wore a choker, acting as his ultimatrix. He looked like techno-pony royalty... especially when he attached a sonic screwdriver in the horn slot.
"Hello, I am Original Character the Fandom Stallion," he said through his orange muzzle. "You have a Minute to Win It. The game is to not die."
Kara pointed her thumb at the tribal Oscar Conners, who was fixing his loin cloth that was worn over blue jean shorts. "That's Fan Man. Introductions are done... heads up!"
"HOLD IT!" I shouted, slamming both hands on a summoned table to either side of my helmet. I fling my finger to Kara, "Girl. Explain!"
"OBJECTION!" Fan Man had a crude table he stood behind, "That table is mahogany! Refrain from damaging it!"
"OBJECTION!" I beat the table several times before placing my helmet on my head, "This is my table and I will do as I please, it's not real wood, and was I talking to you?"
"Objection overruled!" Original Character shouted, tossing a hammer.
I caught the hammer and proceeded to beat the table hard enough for it to buckle before returning it to my inventory and attempting to knock robot arm me, who barely dodged as his charged shot misfired yet was reflected back towards me by Fandom Guard's quick thinking. I swung the hammer to deflect away but Fandom Fight cast a spell that stunned my right arm. I barely dodged the shot while Fan Man split the flipping hammer in half with his keyblade.
I swung my body, using my useless arm to slap Original out of the sky while dodging more of Oscar's rapid buster fire, "Cortana! Ultimate Saiyan or Semi-Perfect Cell or something!"
"Do it yourself; we're being hacked, cursed, and hexed!" Cortana screamed. "We're at a stalemate in here!"
"My arm is stunthnnnthnnthwhathhh?!" I looked over to see that Kara stunned my mouth. I focused my energy into Cortana's green lantern ring, quickly rolling to the options menu as the rest of me ran in a curve to dodge attacks before making a sharp turn as they figured out where I was going. I jumped to the left to dodge Fan Man's keyblade strike and turned my body for my arm to dodge, taking a quick glance at my ultimatrix.
A large ball of energy engulfed me as Fandom Fighter's spells dissipated and I was protected by a rainbow barrier.
"Voice Commend: Ben 10 Ken 10. Unlock Nodes: Loyalty, Laughter, Honesty, Kindness, Generosity. Unlock Node: Magic. Unlock Harmony Generator, Rainbow Engines, and Falcon One Punch. Activate: Summon Hulk Buster Class." The barrier broke from the force of the other me's attacks. I quickly added, "Unlock Ultimatrix Mind Meld!"
Nobody made a move. We just stared, blinking. Silence reigned as it felt that even a sneeze was an act of war.
The five glanced among each other before nodding in sync and changing into XLR8s. Using their highly increased speed, they made some quick rotations of their ultimatricies. Four of them shouted, "Voice Command: Ben 10 Ken 10! Unlock Ultimatrix Mind Meld!" Kara Conners followed suit, "Voice Command: Gwen 10 Ken 10! Unlock Ultimatrix Mind Meld!"
I held out my arms, "I admit, I overdid this but you too crossed the line. Especially with the U.M.M."
Fan Man frowned, "How so? Is there something we don't know?"
Oscar frowned, rolling his metal arm, "I think he just remembered the cost and we just followed him like sheep. I suggest you don't loose your 'blade as the placement of your Ultimatrix gives you the greatest risk."
I crossed my arms, "The short version: If I leave my armor? Coma. The Ultimatrix Core is removed? Coma. A coma that lasts until the events leading to the coma is reversed as my mind is connected to my Ultimatrix until U.M.M. is locked. That's the risk."
His eyes went wide, "The reward is instant transformation control... and more for you, in full."
Kara held out her fist, "We have something you don't have! We, too, can summon Hulk Buster Class systems together!"
The others joined as Original shouted, "And it takes five to form... Voltron!"
"Let's see if your bot can handle mine!" I shouted, "I've created Fandom Voltron!"
Everyone shot into the sky as five lion robots transformed.
Fandom Fighter and Fan Man shouted, "Forming feet and legs!"
Oscar Conners and Fandom Guard called out, "Form arms and body!"
Original Character sat, watching the limbs attach before ending with, "I'll form the head!"
I floated in front of them, "I actually don't have a Fandom Voltron! The TARDIS is not compatible!" I joke, instantly floating next to their head as a Saiyan, throwing a punch that ended with me going splat all over Voltron's face as Upgrade. As fast as I could, I assimilated their Voltron and was beginning to touch the arms. What they didn't expect was that I was prepared for them to bail.
"My lion isn't disconnecting," crowed Kara as her console was engulfed by a white blob with green circuit board patterns.
A head formed from the console, a techno voice coming out of a hollow mouth, "This is an upgrade to Upgrade! Upgrade Echo Echo!" He let out a low tone that made her faint. "That actually worked..."
All of Voltron was upgraded... but it didn't last long. I was shot with a laser that removed my influence. The source: Medical Power Rangers and their Mega Zord.
"What is your deal?!" I demanded the Medical Power Rangers.
I heard Red Medical Ranger shout, "Are supposed to be protecting the Helicarrier!"
"They're trying to kill me."
Blue Medical Ranger shouted, "Multiple Fandom Men fighting is likely to destroy what has become home to every Displaced in this split universe!"
"I was hoping for a chase to get them away from the Helicarrier but they did that for me."
Pink Medical Ranger scolded, "Don't you know there are lives here? The world doesn't revolve around you!"
"I don't even think the world revolves..."
Yellow Medical Ranger asked, "What are you thinking?!"
"Why am I trying to kill myself? I mean, why are multiple me trying to kill me and why am I arguing with Power Rangers?"
Black Medical Ranger growled.
"I don't have a response for that."
White EMT Ranger stood on the head of his Zord, pointing at me, "What gives you the right to harm others?"
"I wonder if Jorgon is still a banana man? Doesn't he have magic?"
Black gasped, "Red, our attempts at diplomacy are failing!"
I formed a large "ARE YOU SERIOUS/KIDDING ME?!" in Fairy Echo Echo clones. The Mega Zord took a step back with its hand over where it's mouth could be in a le gasp expression.
Red shouted, "He's outnumbering us! Quick, form the Mega Air Evacuation Zord!" White EMT Ranger entered his Zord as it merged with the Medical Unit Mega Zord.
All of my Echos were shoulder checked by Voltron as Mega Air Evac Zord gave an uppercut to said Voltron. The uppercut was given a gut kick respond before Voltron kept sending its knee to the Mega Zord's torso.
All of my Echos regrouped into one Echo on the Helicarrier. Once back to normal, I Locked Ultimatrix Mind Meld and aimed my fist at Voltron. "Rouge, load Rainbow Harmony energy to my right fist," I lowered my stance as my fist gave a rainbow sheen. "Kamehame Hadoken! Stop!" I forced my hands out as the second largest ball of energy I've even seen slowed to a snail's pace in front of my summoned keyblade. "I made a huge mistake," the glowing blue ball surrounded by six smaller balls in the Element of Harmony colors gave off a rainbow flash in response. "Cortana, Lock the nodes and my ability to connect the Falcon Punch and One punch after this."
"Are you serious?! Why are you doing this?!"
"I used Perfect Cell to read ahead again, rewriting the results. Six Fandom Men will rise from the debatably most powerful attack ever brought to bear from me. We will be sent back in time to fix this future like a zipper. The past here will not be absolute without this energy boost." I pulled back, steam billowing from my Ultimatrix as I swung my fist, "Falcon Punch."
"What do you meeeEEEEEEAAAAANNNNN?!" Rouge was cutt off as I punched the biggest bomb I've ever punched.
"
t! Sonic Bass Canon of Doom!" Blue lasers went straight through the doors as a shockwave followed, shaking everything away as the doors fell.
