> Twilight's Twilight
>  by sunnypack
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> 1 - Security Clearance
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	
Chapter 1: Security Clearance


How do you keep yourself safe from yourself?


It took all of two seconds for me to freak out.

“WHA—”

“Shhhhhhhh.”

A surprisingly soft hoof pressed against my lips. The alicorn waited a moment more before nodding, satisfied that I would stay silent. She trotted across the room and wondered at the contents. It was me, looking around, except it wasn’t. I was different. Older. Taller. Most gobsmacking of all, I was an alicorn. I mean future-me was. Does that mean I will be a princess?  Several times I cleared my throat, trying to prompt… my attention. I frowned. This was going to be confusing. Okay from now on, that alicorn was Future-Twilight. 

I cleared my throat louder.

Future-Twilight continued to ignore me. 

At this point I was ready to explode.

“W-Who are you?! Are you me? What are you doing?”

My interrogative questions bounced off her like water from a lily-pad. She glanced back my way, smiled and continued to soak in her surroundings.

“Ah, this brings back so many memories. The books, the furniture, the table, oh, this study desk!” The alicorn rubbed her face on it. “Still smells like books!” She looked back at me with a heady grin. “I love it!”

I watched with wide unblinking eyes as my future-self examined my writing desk. Papers were picked up. Novels and textbooks examined. Ink bottles shaken. Quills chewed thoughtfully—

“Hey! Stop that!” I yelled indignantly. “That’s mine!”

Future-Twilight seemed to find that incredibly amusing. She laughed, then she grinned.

“You’re right, it is mine,” she replied… and went straight back to chewing on its tip. “Ah!”

“Hey! What are you… what are you writing?”

I approached my future-self with a confusing cocktail of exasperation and curiosity. Was this what I was going to be like in the future? I was wearing regalia for pony’s sake. Where did I get that? I didn’t have that around. I took in the regal form, the slightly unkempt mane, her longer legs and the wide canopy of wings sifting restlessly on her back. Her violet eyes—woah!

“Done staring?” she asked with an impish smirk. I turned away, blushing. Wait. Why was I so embarrassed? It’s not like I’m doing this to a stranger! Future-Twilight turned away and rolled up the parchment laden with freshly inscribed words. Belatedly, I realised that the alicorn had made use of my writing materials while I was caught up looking at… kind of a reflection of myself. Future-Twilight placed the scroll in the drawer and closed it with a firm telekinetic push. “Don’t open that,” she added in a serious tone. “At least not until Thursday.”

“Wha—?”

“Trust me, it’s very important you don’t open that until Thursday. Maybe. Kind of. Well you can open it before that, but you shouldn’t. Could have some consequences to do with the world, I think. What did I remember…? Oh yes.” Shook her head apologetically. “Memory’s fuzzy. Long time ruling and all that.”

“Long time…?”

Then she leaned forward and kissed her past-self on the forehead. That would be me. Wait, me?!

“Wha-ba-bwah?!” My mind short-circuited. Did I just kiss myself on the forehead? I thought about all the theories of time-travel, paradoxes and the butterfly effect. Wait, wasn’t there something about ending the universe just by looking at each other? Well, no, that wasn’t true, I’d just done that—wait, why am I ignoring the fact that I just kissed myself?!

“Y-You can’t do that!”

Future-Me smiled. “I just did.”

I shook my head angrily. “You’ve invaded m-my p-personal—I have boundaries!”

“N’aw, you’re so cute when you blush like that!” 

I was blushing because I was angry. Not because I was embarrassed! I’m not embarrassed!

“Why would you do that?!” I spluttered.

Future-Me raised an eyebrow. “All the questions you could ask a time-traveler and that’s what you go with?” She grinned at my helpless expression. “Do I need a reason to kiss myself?” She tapped her lip. “Wait, that sounded incredibly narcissistic. Well when you get to be my age…”

“Your age? Just how old are you?”

Future-Twilight opened her mouth to speak… then the infuriating alicorn disappeared in a flash.

I stared at the empty space of my room, mouth hanging open. Though everything seemed intact, it felt like a tornado had blown through. It took me a while to blink, and much, much longer to formulate a response. When I did, I went with the classics.

“What the heck just happened?!”

——————

Princess Celestia gently placed the cup of tea down.

“Well my dear student, that’s spoiled my surprise.”

My mouth could have swallowed a bugbear. After sending the letter, I didn’t expect the Princess would have believed me, much less grant me a personal audience alone in the gardens. One hasty train trip later, I had found myself in front of my mentor, but her poised demeanour was a sharp contrast to my own mounting anxiety. Maybe she felt I was a little unbalanced. I wouldn’t blame her.

“You mean you knew this?” I spluttered. I covered my mouth with a regretful hoof. “I mean, Princess.”

Then again, this was the Princess we were talking about.

Princess Celestia dipped her head sympathetically. “Well, yes—” she held up a hoof to stem the tide of my questions “—after all it happened to me.”

I sank back into my seat slowly. “So you mean…”

“It’s already happened to all of us. Particularly Luna, her future-self couldn’t resist a chance at changing the past,” Celestia added. She hesitated while reaching for the tea cup, and added a little ruefully, “Alicorns tend to have enough power to sustain long time time-travel trips.” 

She blinked, then chuckled softly. “That’s certainly a mouthful.”

I sat back, silent, trying to digest the bombshell.

“So it’s true, then?” I said slowly. “I’m going to become an alicorn?” My face scrunched into a worried frown. “But isn’t time-travel a little…” I glanced around, even though I knew we were alone. “Risky?”

Celestia shrugged slightly and smiled. “Sometimes my future-self would be wrong about future events. She claimed it was a gap in my memory, so either the future isn’t fixed, or I’m simply the unlucky recipient of bad luck.”

I played with the tablecloth. “You haven’t tried?”

Celestia shook her head. “I’ve never felt the need to.” Celestia took a sip of her tea and frowned thoughtfully. “Or maybe I was going senile?” She murmured the last part more to herself, but with a bemused smile. The Princess shook her head, and locked eyes uncomfortably with me. Within the deeply aged gaze, her eyes reflected mirthful curiosity as she leaned forward. “So, what was your future-self like?”

I flushed uncomfortably, feeling embarrassed for myself, I mean my future-self. Did that make sense? I decided to get it over and done with. I could trust the Princess.

“Overbearing,” I admitted with a flustered sigh. “She was preoccupied with the nostalgia of my library room.” When Celestia merely raised an eyebrow and took another sip of her tea, I continued.

“S-She…”

“Go on…”

“She…”

“It’s alright, Twilight.”

“She kissed me!”

Pfft!

I never would have thought that today would be the day I would see Princess Celestia, Princess of Equestria, ruler of thousands, an alicorn over a thousand years old… choke on her tea.

“O-On my forehead!” I hastily corrected, though much too late. I could feel my cheeks go scarlet as Celestia’s eyes watered and the alicorn reached for a napkin. This was the worst.

Celestia coughed and spluttered, hastily wiping her muzzle with the napkin. “Oh I’m so sorry, Twilight,” she said breathlessly, “that’s the most amusing thing I’ve heard in a while.”

I sat there miserably as Celestia took a few more minutes to compose herself. “You must introduce me to her.”

“N-No!” I yelled instinctively, then clamped a hoof around my mouth. “I-I mean, p-please Princess…”

Celestia smiled at me, nodding while I sank back down gratefully. “As you wish, Twilight, but the offer still stands…” She poured herself some more tea and settled back in her seat. “If your Future-self enjoyed the library so much, perhaps you’ll be moving somewhere else in the future?” Celestia offered.

I considered it, then shook my head. “I’d never leave Ponyville! I’ve grown to love it there. All the friends I’ve met. Despite the great times I’ve had here, it doesn’t hold a candle to Ponyvill—” My eyes widened considerably as I caught myself a little too late. “I-I mean—”

Celestia chortled softly and waved away my frantic attempt at apology. “It’s alright, Twilight,” she said. “I know what you mean, and I couldn’t be happier for you.” She reached across the table and patted one of my hooves. “You belong in a place that makes you happy.”

I couldn’t help but blush at the kind words. “Thank you, Princess. It never would have happened without your help.” Then my muzzle crinkled as I thought of the perplexing problem at hoof.

“I was thinking…”

Celestia smiled pleasantly. “As you do.”

An abashed grin fought its way to the fore. “I was thinking,” I continued. “Time travel doesn’t seem like it’d be possible from our objective perspective.”

Celestia acquiesced to the thought with a nod. I took that as an invitation to continue explaining. Reaching into my saddlebags, I withdrew a simple labelled diagram I had sketched on the train ride to Canterlot. Celestia blinked at some of the minor equations, formulas and conjectures on chrono-magical theory written in the small spacing around the two-dimensional timeline split.

“That’s… quite extensive,” she commented, her gaze raking critically over my formulas and hypotheses.

“Thank you Princess, I haven’t had time to build it to scale or have it painted…”

Celestia smiled in amusement. “It’s fine, Twilight.”

I pointed to a particular subsection that had some of Star Swirl’s time travel conjectures side by side to my own, though penciled in. I tapped it in frustration. “I couldn’t make any sense of combining magic in such a way that I could visit myself in the past! Each time I run the equations, I come up short. It’s disastrous! Any ideas, Princess?”

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “I’m guessing that you’re trying because you know it’s possible, as evidenced by your own usage of the spell.”

I hesitated, then nodded. “Well, yes. Do you know anything about it?” Then a sudden thought occurred to me. “Am I not allowed to do it?” Dear Celestia, did I just admit to a crime I’ve done in the future?! It never even occurred to me that time travelling was illegal, although it made sense what with the ability to—

The Princess read my nervous look and put my rising fears at ease with a demure smile. “No Twilight, nothing is stopping you from using the spell. As far as I can tell, it’s not a problem.”

But if there wasn’t anything stopping anypony from using it, then why haven’t we seen time travellers left, right and centre? There had to be a reason. “What’s stopping anypony from using it?”

The Princess smiled and took a sip of her tea, then grimaced, probably because it was cold as ice after leaving it for so long. I smiled privately, I knew the Princess intimately enough to recognise when she was surprised by the taste. 

I never said anything because I thought the gesture made her feel like less of a princess and more of a kind pony that just happened to sport a crown, wings and the pretty hoof-covers that go with it. Though she could probably do it herself, I heated her tea up with a quick spell. She smiled gratefully at me, then placed the cup down while she debated whether or not to reveal the information to me yet. A small tug of her lips at the corners of her mouth was the only evidence of her internal discourse.

“There is a spell, but it’s incomplete and the power required to pull it off is tremendous.” The Princess quelled my obvious excitement with a steely gaze. “You must not attempt to use the spell.”

I sagged.

Then she winked at me. “Until you’re absolutely sure you can handle it.”

I perked up with a grin that almost split my face in two. “Really, Princess? Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Celestia raised an eyebrow in forewarning, bringing my attention back to the conversation. “Anything I told myself never really helped, and my future-self never brought anything into the past with her. I wouldn’t put much stock in the merit of such a spell.”

I leaned in closer, whispering in a low, but urgent, voice.

“Princess,” I whispered, “my future-self left me something. A letter.”

Celestia set down the cup with a clink that sounded like a thunderclap in the tense silence.

“Did you open it?” Celestia asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

I shook my head, growing more worried by the second. “No. I told myself not to open it. Well, sort of. She strongly suggested I don’t open it. Kind of.”

Celestia knew what I meant the moment I made a move to correct myself.

“I think it would be wise to leave it alone,” she said quietly. “Are you to open it at all?”

“Yes,” I replied. “She told me not to open it until Thursday. I don’t know why.”

It suddenly occurred to me that the day after tomorrow was Thursday. Today was Tuesday.

Celestia considered the new information with a thoughtful expression. “Well, Twilight, I’m not sure why you would give yourself a letter and telling you not to open it until Thursday. Did you ask your friends?”

I cocked my head. “Why?”

Celestia looked nonplussed at the remark. “I would have thought your friends would be the first ponies you’d go to for a decisive dilemma.”

I shook my head. “No, no, no. Maybe later. I think I need to solve this on my own.” A sudden thought occurred to me as I blinked. “Could it be a warning?” My mind raced into overdrive as thoughts sizzled down snarling roads of potential misfortune and calamities that would force me to go back in time and warn myself. “Maybe it’s a disaster that’ll happen on Thursday!” Then I frowned as I recalled how future-me seemed. “But it wasn’t like I was worried or anything. Maybe I got more confident when I became an alicorn?” The argument sounded incredibly weak and I blushed furiously as Celestia let out a small chuckle in response.

“I’m sure you had your reasons,” Celestia said calmly. “I think it’s up to you. You know yourself the best. I think you should decide if it’s a good idea to peek inside the letter earlier.” She paused briefly, before adding, “I also think that you should also get some opinions before diving into the letter.”

I hesitated, licking my suddenly dry lips. “Do you trust me?” With a potentially world-ending letter?

Celestia’s smile thawed the anxious ice gripping my heart.

“Of course, Twilight. Even if the universe were at stake.”


> 2 - Contingency Plans
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	
Chapter 2: Contingency Plans


Always have a backup, even for yourself.


I made my way back home, sombre, despite the faint afterglow of the Princess’ compliment. On the train, passengers looked on in concern at my frantic writing as I made lists, essays, debates, theories, points, counter-points and all manner of discourse on reasons why I should or should not open the letter my future-self left me. Several times I had almost given up on the whole kerfuffle, opting to stare out of the train to take in the rolling green hills and lush fields that zoomed past. What if my future-self had come from a desperate future and it was critical that I shouldn’t open the letter until Thursday?

How could it be so important that a single letter had to be opened on Thursday and not any other day?

With a sigh, I slumped in my seat looking at my list sullenly as I scanned the pages. It all boiled down to a binary result. It either helped or it wouldn’t to do it now. I wasn’t sure. Should I heed the counsel of my future-self, no matter how casually given? I bit my lip. I trusted myself, right? If I knew me, I knew myself and I would know that I wouldn’t be able to resist a mystery. Especially if it had something to do with something as important as time-travel. Besides, it wasn’t like I ordered myself not to look at it until Thursday, I just suggested not to do it.

All too soon the train stopped. Familiar faces and voices washed over me as I shambled out the carriage and filtered through the crowd.

“Hello, Twilight.”

“Hello, Berry Punch.”

“Good afternoon, Twilight!”

“Afternoon, Mayor Mare.”

“Heya, Twilight!”

I looked up quickly, but I didn’t have enough time to brace myself for the tackling hug that Pinkie gave me. Staggering back, I could only splutter out a response more than a few ponies have said when faced with the pink party pony.

“P-Pinkie!” I spat out a few stray hairs from my mane that inevitably made their way into my mouth. She didn’t seem to mind as she beamed with a grin wide as the horizon.

“Twilight! I’ve been looking around for you. I mean not you you, the other you!”

A faint chill of dread ran down my spine. “W-What?”

Pinkie frowned. “I mean I was at the start, but you disappeared! I mean not you, you you. I mean you disappeared, but you went too!”

I could feel my eyes struggle to focus with the effort my mind was expending on parsing through her sentence.

“Wait. So you’re telling me that you saw me when I left?”

“No!” Pinkie said happily.

I stared at her, my mind whirling.

Pinkie’s disarming smile didn’t falter at my troubled frown. “I didn’t see you, silly! I just had a feeling,” she explained… kind of.

Knowing I shouldn’t ask the question, I asked anyway. “So you can feel when I’m around?”

Pinkie shook her head. “No, no, no! I can feel you, but not you.”

I ran a hoof through my mane. I could feel a few strands free themselves in sympathetic frustration. I patted them down again, but I could feel a few more spring up as I abandoned that course of action.

“Pinkie, before I get more confused, let’s call the other me ‘Future-Twilight’, alright?”

“Sure, Twilight!”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay, can you start from the beginning?”

Pinkie grinned toothily whilst nodding. She hopped to the side as I trotted down the path to the library.

“So I was making a rainbow-coloured Gummy-gummy cake,” Pinkie began.

“A what?” I blurted out, though I knew better.

“A Gummy-gummy cake!” Pinkie exclaimed. “A cake for Gummy that’s gummy made of gummy candy in a rainbow colour!”

“For Gummy?”

“Yeppers. So there I was over the lake, surrounded by unstable rocks and a thin bit of wood separating me from the bag of sugar!”

I nodded, then did a double-take. “Wait. W-What? How did that happen? Why a lake? Rocks? Sugar?”

Pinkie blinked at me as if I was the one that had said something incomprehensible.

“Everypony knows that the best candy is rock candy.”

I felt like a parrot. “What?”

“They’re really sweet and colourful and perfect ingredients, but if it weren’t for the giant ants and the swarm of bugbear bees, I probably would have finished it in an hour instead of just then!”

“The bug—” I cut myself off before Pinkie could start another tangent. “Okay, uhh, you’ll have to tell me about that later.”

“Okie dokie lokie!”

I realised through all that we had ended up at the library already. I put my hoof on my handle as I tried to steer the conversation back to the original plan. “Can you tell me about knowing how you know how it’s me—I mean future-me—” I held my head in my hooves “—you know what? Never mind. Can you let me know if you know when future-me is going to come? I think I need a break from all of this.”

Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. “Sure thing, Twilight!”

“Thanks, Pinkie,” I said, I made to reach for the door, then something else occurred to me. “Hey Pinkie, I’ve got a weird question.”

Pinkie looked up expectantly. “Oh, a question! Will I be able to answer it?”

I blinked at Pinkie. “Uhh, I don’t know.” I took a deep breath. Might as well give it a shot. “What if you left something for yourself and told yourself that you shouldn’t open it. I mean you’re allowed to open it, but you shouldn’t open it?”

Pinkie’s eyebrows drew together as she considered my question. “Uhhhhhhh, is it, like, a present? If it’s a present I think you can open it, because a present is always good! Even if it’s for yourself.”

“What if it’s a letter?”

Pinkie shrugged. “You like reading, don’t’cha?”

I nodded absently. “Yeah, I guess…”

“Then you should totally read it!”

I bit my lip. Alright, maybe asking Pinkie wasn’t the best decision.

Pinkie’s eyes widened as if she just realised something. “Oooh, actually—” I turned around as Pinkie cocked her head. Then she smiled. “Actually, all good! You go on ahead, I have some things to do.” In a hyper-fast dash that was more blur than pony, Pinkie disappeared.

I sighed, shaking my head ruefully. “I’ll never get used to that pony.”

“I agree.”

I turned my head slowly, though I already knew who it was before I even finished the movement.

“Hello,” Future-Twilight said. “I’m back!”

———————

She was there. Just sitting there. Looking at me.

She was also eating my chocolates. A lot of them.

“H-Hey!”

“Oh hey, Twilight! I thought you were crazy when you started saying something about your future-self coming back and sending you secret messages but who knew?!”

I swivelled around to find Spike had been rummaging through another box of my chocolates as well.

“SPIKE!”

“What?”

“How could you eat my premium imported one-of-a-kind emergency stash of chocolates?!”

Spike threw up his claws managing to look both embarrassed and frustrated at the same time.

“You told me I could!” He turned to Future-Twilight. “I told you she’d be mad. I mean you’d be mad!”

Future-Twilight laughed… and continued eating the luxurious Minotaurian chocolates.

“S-Stop it!” I stammered. “That’s— I was saving that!”

Future-Twilight moaned, her eyes filled with the ecstasy of experiencing the most sumptuous, scrumptious, salivating-inducing chocolate in the known lands. I could feel my mouth starting to drool but I ignored it in the heat of my rising ire.

“I-I mean it! Stop it!” I was faintly aware my tone was becoming less commanding and more pleading.

“Oh relax,” Future-Twilight said. “You get to taste this later.” 

I was unconvinced, but I asked her anyway. “Really?”

She nodded genially. “You know, because you’re me.” 

I blinked at her in incomprehension.

She raised an eyebrow. “You just have to wait a little while.”

Oh right, because that’s my future. Wait…

My eyes narrowed. “How long is a little while?”

Future-Twilight didn’t seem to hear me, she was patting Spike on the head. “Go on, Spike, take the rest of the day off.”

Spike blinked. “What? Just like that?” He glanced at me cautiously.

I bristled for a moment, then I sighed. Well, there were more important things to worry about right now than my assistant’s work ethics. I sagged with a nod. “Go ahead Spike. I want to talk to her. I mean me. I mean myself. I want to talk to myself—” I stopped myself before I confused myself. Dear Celestia.

Spike edged away from us, glancing between us uncertainly. “Uhh, you’ll be alright, won’t you?”

Future-Twilight smiled. “Don’t worry, Spike. Have I ever made you worry?”

Spike opened his mouth, taking a deep breath.

“Actually, don’t answer that,” she said quickly, waving him away with a hoof. “We don’t need to be reminded about that.”

“About what?” I asked sharply.

“Nothing,” the alicorn said a little too quickly than I liked. She patted the cushion next to her. “A little side chat. Now, let’s get down to business.”

I stayed where I was. “What business?”

Future-Twilight—you know what? That’s still a mouthful. I’m just going to say ‘Twilight’. Twilight smiled at my response and gestured to the cushion next to her. I forced myself forward with a jolt. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was in between trying to figure out why she was back so soon and if I just invited myself to sit with myself.

“Don’t think about it too hard,” the alicorn told me. She smoothed over her mane and patted the cushion insistently. “Come, sit with me!”

I crept forward cautiously as Twilight eyed me with patient smile. I couldn’t help it. I stared again. It was so weird. Seeing her was like seeing my future. I looked different. It was hard to put a hoof on it, but there were a lot of details that were both familiar and strange. I still had the same mane-style, I still sat the same way, straight and rigid. I still wore the same eyeliner it seemed. 

There were the wings of course, but there were other subtle changes. There was… I don’t know, some of the same character that Celestia or Luna had. She had that wisp of command around her, like I expected her to be surrounded by ponies at any second. There was also this confidence I haven’t seen before. She looked so sure of herself, that I was almost… jealous of. But that was ridiculous. How could I be jealous of myself?

“So,” she drawled, forcing my attention back to her, “you haven’t opened the little message I left behind yet, have you?”

I reflexively made to answer, but I hesitated when a sudden thought occurred to me.

“Wait, wouldn’t you already know? You’re me!”

She smiled back at me with an expression laced with an indiscernible emotion.

“You shouldn’t treat causality so lightly, Twilight,” she said, then gestured with her hoof at the cushion one last time. “Now, aren’t you feeling a little tired from your trip to Canterlot?” She grinned deviously and pushed forward one of the half-opened boxes towards me. “Chocolate?”

“I-I guess.” I couldn’t work up an excuse to remain standing. I sat down on the cushion, feeling weighed down by the weight of a flurry of questions buzzing around my head. This Twilight seemed less spontaneous and more controlled. Maybe she wasn’t as bad as she seemed? I mean as bad as I seemed. Dear Celestia, this is what I would become when I’m a princess?

No, I couldn’t be. Time would have to be static. Deterministic. Without subject to change. Could it be possible that it could change? If not, why was she here? I glanced at her through the corner of my eyes. She seemed unconcerned, confident, even. Would I be like that when I discovered how to time travel? She was waiting for me to take a seat. I suddenly felt like I was the one being rude, despite the fact that she broke in and ate all my chocolates, even though it was me… in my own house… with my own… choc—

“Why is this so confusing?” I muttered. I slumped into the cushion and stared at the remaining chocolates. Macadamias?! My favourite! I glanced at her in surprise. She grinned. 

“I thought about saving the best until last, but then I thought it’s good to be young,” she said, pushing them forward once more. “Go on.”

Unable to resist, I popped a couple into my mouth and chewed them. The chocolate melted almost immediately and suffused with the macadamia centre in a glorious mix of sweet chocolate and creamy nuttiness. I was vaguely aware of my ecstatic moans. Finally, I opened my eyes and found her staring at me.

She smiled. “How are they?”

Sneaky pony. I’m still mad at her. I can’t believe I bribed myself with my own chocolate. As soon as I get my hooves on a diary, I am going to remind myself to be nicer to myself. 

“The best I’ve ever tasted,” I replied sullenly. “Never happier.”

“Aww don’t be like that. I have something to make it up to you!”

I eyed her warily. “Really? What could possibly make me—”

Then she drew it out. My eyes widened. My breath quickened. My heart stopped beating as my mouth flopped open.

“No way.”

“Yes way,” she said.

“Is that—”

“Uhuh.”

“In the—”

“Uhuh.”

“From the—”

“Exactly.”

“Dear Celestia, how in the world did you manage to lay your hooves on one?!”

Twilight grinned toothily. “Let’s just say there are perks that come with being a Princess. It’s not always a pain in the flank.” She set it on the table. “You can get your hooves on a lot of restricted items.”

“Restricted items—?”

“Anyway, you haven’t answered my question. Did you look in the letter?”

“No,” I whispered absently, eyes still fixed on the legendary piece of literature. “I was going to this afternoon.”

Twilight nodded sagely. “That’s good,” she said, closing her eyes in relief. “So not yet. Thursday. Remember—Wait don’t touch that!”

I froze guiltily my hooves barely touching the cover. Twilight snatched the book away hastily.

“Woah, woah! I never said you could touch it!” The alicorn whisked it away and into her saddlebag with the smooth sweep of her magic.

“What?! What do you mean I can’t touch it?”

“Look but don’t touch,” she said sternly. “I can’t just give away things from the future to my past-self. All sorts of things could happen. Closed time loops information paradoxes, self-generation, the butterfly effect!”

I gasped. Potential disasters I had stifled were now coming to the fore as my mind reeled with the implications. 

Twilight pinned me down with a serious look. “You know what this means, don’t you?”

I swallowed audibly. “N-No. W-What? Did I do anything?”

Twilight levelled me with a stare that could cut through steel. Trepidation washed over me in dizzying waves. What did I do? Did touching the book trigger a cascade of catastrophic consequences for space, time and the universe itself?!

Twilight tapped the table with a hoof, snapping me out of the panicked loop I had fallen into.

“Repeat after me,” she instructed. “You…”

“I…”

“Have to…”

“Have to…”

“Learn…”

“Learn…”

“To take a joke.”

“To take a j—That was a joke?!”

Twilight shrugged. “If the universe was really in danger do you think we really have a chance of fixing it?” She chuckled. “No. This isn’t a story. Reality is more flexible than you think.”

“T-That was mean!” I spluttered. “That goes way beyond a joke!”

Twilight rubbed her chin thoughtfully, as if the thought hadn’t actually occurred to her. “Oh, really? I thought it was actually quite clever. It played on your fears, I let it carry on for suspense, then I sprung the surprise.” She thought about it longer, then her confusion cleared. “Oh wait, that’s horror, not comedy isn’t it?” 

Though I wanted to strangle her, I was somewhat mollified by her sincere confusion. It was like she didn’t actually know. Or I will not know. Or maybe she did not know if time was as flexible as she said. These stupid chronological mind-loops were getting on my nerves. Still, her behaviour was unsettling. What in the world happened to me in the future?

Twilight grinned, dismissing her musings with the flick of her ear. “Oh honestly, you’re as stiff as a board! I don’t remember being such a stick in the mud. Hmm, how about later? You can read it then, but first I need you to do a few small things for me.”

I considered the offer, the fires of indignation dampening as I thought of all the wondrous knowledge contained within Star Swirl’s last compendium. It was tempting, but I knew better. Already I had a bit of a feel for this devious future-Twilight. Suspicion reared its sinuous head. “What things?”

Twilight shrugged. “You’ll find out if you agree.”

She knew. Of course she knew. She was me.

“Okay,” I muttered with a sigh. “You knew I would agree anyway.”

Twilight smirked. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Anyway, we have a big day tomorrow, get some sleep.”

Despite myself, I had to ask. “What’re we going to do?”

Twilight didn’t answer, electing to simply grin instead. I’ve seen that kind of grin before. It was the same type of grin Angel had when Fluttershy left him in charge of the cottage. The same type of grin Chrysalis had when she held Canterlot. The same sort of grin Discord had when I gave up… Suddenly, the book didn’t look so tempting anymore.


> 3 - Failsafes
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	
Chapter 3: Failsafes


You need to know it’ll work, even if you’re doing it to yourself.


The next morning, I found Twilight in the kitchen, making toast. She spread strawberry jam on the thick slice and bit into it, moaning like it was the best thing she’d had for years.

“Morning!” she said brightly.

“Morning,” I mumbled, not in the mood to return her cheer. I shuffled to the table and rested my head on it. “Make any for me?”

“Luckily for you, I did, even though I’m not obligated to. You know, because this is also my house, technically.”

“If you’re me, then you know that you are equally responsible for making me breakfast.”

“Only half responsible, and I’ve made half of myself a breakfast, fulfilling my obligation to myself.”

“If I starve to death, then you’ll starve to death.”

“Oh, causality! A tricky trap.”

“So feed me.”

She flicked a dismissive hoof. “You’ll hardly starve.”

“But any discomfort I feel would be your discomfort.”

“Time makes discomfort more bearable. I have a lot of that.”

I sighed, getting up from my seat. Well I didn’t expect to win an argument against myself especially when I wasn’t well-rested.

Twilight waved me back down with grin. “I’m joking, here.”

I stared at the toast.

“Uhm, thank you,” I said in surprise.

She gave me a look. “You’re thanking yourself?”

And there goes my sincerity. I stared at her as I nibbled on the toast.

“So what now?” I finally said.

“Pranking,” she announced, with a flourish.

I could feel one side of my mouth pull downwards. Keeping up with myself was proving harder than I thought. It was like she was part Pinkie on the inside.

“Pranking?”

Twilight looked like a bobblehead with the way she nodded. “Yep, we’re going to play a joke on a Princess.” She grinned like a madmare. “What do you think, Celestia or Luna? They’re both good targets that are worthy of our combined intellect.”

My mouth worked as I tried to find the words to express just how incredibly insane that sounded.

“The Princesses?!” was all I could say.

“Really, Twilight, you remind me of my younger self, always repeating what other ponies say.”

“I am you!”

“Ow! No need to shout. It’s simple. You said you would do what I tell you. It’s only a few things. One of these things is pranking. Are you going to help me or not?”

“Help you?” I furrowed my brows as I narrowed my eyes at her. “Were you going to do it even if I didn’t help you?”

“Of course,” she replied with a raised eyebrow. “Waste of a prank if I didn’t.”

I pressed my lips together, peeking at her saddlebags from the corner of my eyes. The book was so close, who knew when the chance would arise again? Literally, I didn’t know when I would get to the future and find out when I would lay my hooves on the book again. But that wasn’t why I considered it. I needed to make sure she didn’t do something I would regret later. I made up my mind. 

“Pranking I can do,” I said slowly. Maybe I could convince her of a different target? “I mean I’m not good at it, but why the Princesses? If it were Rainbow, or Pinkie, or any of my friends… maybe.”

“Oh come on,” Twilight replied, wrinkling her muzzle. “Rainbow and Pinkie have done it already, why haven’t you?”

“Wait, Rainbow and Pinkie did what?!”

The alicorn shook her head sadly. “Twilight you’re so uptight, you have to learn to let loose once in a while.” She patted me on the head as I glared at her and waited for her to remove her hoof. When she didn’t stop, I shook free from her grasp with an exasperated grunt.

“I-I’m not uptight,” I shot back defensively.

Twilight lifted an eyebrow and considered me silently. “Face it, you’re uptight.” She paused. “And a bit of a shut-in. An uptight shut-in.”

“I’m not uptight! I’m not a shut-in either! I do plenty of outdoor sports!”

Twilight’s gaze swept over my body critically.

“I-I mean it.” I hated the way I didn’t sound so sure of myself. I knew myself. It was my future-self that was throwing doubts about my own self-perception. Unfair. I mean, I’m not that uptight, am I? I stole another glance at myself as she grinned at me.

“Well… I need to make some preparations, not enough time yesterday.” Twilight made a shooing gesture with her hoof. “Go play around or buy some groceries, I’ll be a while.”

I staggered to the door. I wasn’t really paying attention to the fact that I was effectively kicking myself out of my own house, I was more concerned with what Twilight had mentioned. I wasn’t a shut-in… surely. It was probably another sneaky deceptive ploy from my sneaky deceptive future-self. I closed the door to the library and immediately spotted Rainbow and Pinkie chatting to each other. Looking around surreptitiously, I headed over to them. They would know.

——————

“You’re pretty uptight.”

I gaped at Rainbow. Wow, that was blunt. Maybe she should be the Element of Honesty?

“And a little bit of a shut-in!” Pinkie added helpfully.

Rainbow raised an eyebrow at my shocked look and shrugged. “You haven’t been around recently. Most of the time you’ve been nose-deep in one of your books. We’ve hardly seen you outside, let alone know if you’re loose enough to do any pranking with us. We know you wouldn’t be up to some of the stuff we do.”

“I-I could loosen up!” I shot back. By Rainbow’s unimpressed look, I must not have been very convincing.

“Come on, Twi’, when was the last time you’ve broken the rules? I don’t mean the small ones like being late, or something, I mean something big just because you wanted to?”

“I-I…”

Pinkie interrupted as I went crimson with embarrassment. “Aww Dashie, Twilight’s not that bad.” 

That bad?!

Pinkie smiled at me, taking some of the edge off Rainbow’s—and her own—comment. “You’re just kinda sorta a little non-bendy sometimes.” She hummed thoughtfully as she made an effort to clarify her point. Pinkie held out her hooves and mimed a weighting scale. “Just a little itty bit.” She tilted her hooves a little to the left. “Juuuust a little.”

 My eyes flickered between them. I couldn’t believe it. Even my friends thought I was an uptight shut-in. Well, it was true that recently I’ve been busy with projects, but I certainly talked to my friends! Last Tuesday… or was it Thursday? No, there was Rarity’s fashion something-or-other that she invited me to, but I thought that was next week, and Applejack was busy. So I spent the night reading some books, and there was a recent research paper that I had to verify and crosscheck with Neighture. In between that, I think Rainbow popped in at one point, but I told Spike to tell her not to break anything again. And Applejack really needed to return her books, and Pinkie needed to use the front door more often—

It suddenly occurred to me.

“Dear Celestia…” I whispered. “I am an uptight shut-in, aren’t I?”

“It’s not that…” Pinkie trailed off. The fact that Pinkie of all ponies was at a loss for words was the final nail in the proverbial coffin. I groaned, sinking to my haunches as I put my head in my hooves.

“Eh, Twilight, just come visit us sometime,” Rainbow said in the silence. “Not those quick ‘hello, how’s it going’, an actual visit.”

I couldn’t really say anything. She was right.

Rainbow and Pinkie shared a glance. I caught them signalling not-so-subtly to Fluttershy, who had stopped by and was peering at us all curiously.

“Uhh…” she trailed off as Pinkie and Rainbow made some more gestures, thinking I wouldn’t notice. I rolled my eyes, but hopefully Fluttershy had a different opinion?

“We were talking about Twilight,” Rainbow hinted through clenched teeth and an eyebrow wiggle. “And how she’s worried about how uptight she may or may not be.” The sentence was so strangled I had a hard time trying to figure out what she was trying to say.

“Oh Twilight’s not like that at all,” Fluttershy replied with a nervous smile. 

I blinked in surprise. “R-Really?” I said. 

Fluttershy seemed confused, but there was no mistaking the sincerity of her tone. “Oh yes,” she continued, her eyes flickered to Rainbow and Pinkie. “You’re a really good… uhm…”

I saw a pink blur in my periphery, but every time I looked Pinkie was whistling, as if she hadn’t been frantically signalling moments before.

“…At… uhh…”

I leaned forward.

“At sticking to the rules and being on time. Yes, you’re very punctual. You’re really smart and you’re widely read…?” She smiled hopefully at all of us. Rainbow winced as Pinkie sucked in a breath. I sagged. Fluttershy blinked in bewilderment as she registered our reactions. “Oh dear, did I say the wrong thing?”

 Fluttershy hadn’t known what we were talking about, but somehow her shot in the dark about my redeeming qualities were centred around the very facet of my personality I was trying to avoid. It was clear. I was uptight. I was a shut-in. This… this was all kinds of depressing. A little because I knew I’d have to concede to my future-self, and mostly because I should have seen this earlier. Also, I would probably have to listen to a gleeful monologue from her. My future-self who was an infuriating parody of what I would strive to never become. Honestly.

The sigh leaving my lips felt like my soul leaving my body rather than depressive catharsis for my subdued mood.

The damage already done, Rainbow and Pinkie trotted over to Fluttershy, whispering into her ears while I sat on the ground, my own ears flat to my skull. I poked the ground with a dejected hoof. It’s not my fault I liked to follow the rules. Rules were important. Rules made things better. Rules could be fun… Oh dear Celestia, did I just think that rules could be fun? Nopony would think that! But I could be fun! Rules didn’t define me. Ponies needed to give me a chance at proving that wrong.

“Oh sorry, Twilight,” Fluttershy spoke tentatively, snapping me out of my brooding thoughts. Her low voice quivered as she moved on. “I didn’t know it was about the, uhm, thing. Sorry. I hope you’re not upset.”

I watched guiltily as Fluttershy went crimson and crossed her legs awkwardly. Was I making an Ursa Major out of a Minor? This wasn’t me, making my friends worry about something so trivial. I got to my hooves and shook my head.

“Don’t worry about it, Fluttershy, it’s not your fault.” The heavy sigh I gave made me feel a little better, even though nothing had changed. “I-It’s just me.”

No really, it was me.

“Are you sure? You look awfully upset,” Fluttershy mumbled.

I glanced up, noting my friend’s concern. That was stupid. What was worse than being uptight? Being a sad sack. I forced a grin and shook my head. At least my friends were honest with me. The truth hurt, but it was my pride more than anything. The day was young, and I could still spend some time with my friends, instead of moping around pitifully.

“Come on,” I said, “I haven’t seen you three in a while, what with me cooped up in the library. Let’s go get something to eat.”

Rainbow and Pinkie smiled in encouragement and Fluttershy looked relieved.

“Yeah,” Rainbow said, “good idea, we should hang out.”

“Yeah Twi’, we’ll get something to eat,” Pinkie exclaimed, her eyes twinkling in excitement. “I know just the place.”

Fluttershy smiled. “I could use something sweet.”

I smiled, much more sincerely this time. “First round of cupcakes is on me, then.”

“Aww yeah,” Rainbow cheered.

“Yes!” Pinkie shouted.

“Thanks, Twilight,” Fluttershy said.

——————

Time flew by fast when I was with my friends. Rarity and Applejack even dropped by, as if my friends were iron filings drawn by a magnet. Rarity said she’d cleared her schedule faster than she anticipated, while Applejack started in surprise and said the exact same thing too. 

“So you believe me?”

“Of course we would,” Rarity replied. “Why wouldn’t we?”

“It’s not like you would lie to us,” Applejack said with a nod.

“I guess… I thought that you might have thought I was crazy.”

Rainbow cocked her head. “Well you were acting kinda—urk”

Rainbow ended her sentence abruptly as Rarity nudged her none-too-gently.

“In any case,” Rarity continued as if she wasn’t the cause of Rainbow’s discomfort, “we’re glad you’re out and about. We were worried you’d get cooped up in your lab the whole week.”

“We’re glad to see you,” Fluttershy added with a small smile. “I haven’t seen you or Owlowiscious for a while.”

Rarity steepled her hooves together as she considered me. “Even Spike was worried for you, dear. You need to get out more.”

“I was so close to making…” I frowned as I trailed off. What was it I was making again?

“See dear? You’re clearly overworked. Relax a little.”

“You’re right,” I said softly. “I think I’ve been in the lab a little too long.”

“Alright,” Rainbow said. “We should do something together, any plans?”

“Oooh! Oooh! I have about a hundred!” Pinkie exclaimed.

I licked my lips, falling into a helpless smile. “Let’s start at number one, then.”

————

Whatever the reason, I was glad to spend some time with my friends. I didn’t realise how much I had missed them until I saw them. Chatting with them made time fly by and made me forget about Twilight’s little prank, at least for a few hours.

Despite the fact that I wasn’t looking forward to actually having anything to do with my future-self, I did feel slightly guilty that I ditched her to meet up with my friends when she was waiting for me to come back and help her out. As exasperating as she was, I did give her my word that I would help. That wasn’t like me, it wasn’t like me at all. All my misgivings, however, were promptly erased when I stepped into the library.

“What in Equestria is going on here?”

Future-Twilight glanced up from the book she was reading…. Then she craned her neck down to view me from atop of the tower of books she had constructed.

“I’ve read all these books!” she exclaimed with a heady grin. “There’s so many books to read, I love it!”

“D-Did you just…?” Where did she get so many books? The library didn’t have this many books. Oh some of these are great reads! No, bad Twilight, focus! Right, how did she get to the top of her book fort? Wait, wings, duh!  Okay, how did she read so many books in so little time? I wish I could read that many—

I shook my head free of the envious thoughts and drew courage in the breath I took to launch myself into a lecture.

“See here—”

“So did you loosen up a bit?”

Her pointed question took the wind out of my sails a bit.

“Uhh…” I sat on my haunches and crossed my arms. “What do you mean?”

Twilight rolled her eyes and glided down from the stack of books. Apart from being substantially taller than me, the way she flew, which reminded me a little of Rainbow, was disconcerting. Again, I caught myself being envious, despite the logical fact that I knew that it would be my future.

“I hope you’ve done more than just sit around on a bench all day.”

I reddened, retorting her assumption irritably. “I didn’t! I was with all my friends. What about you?”

For the first time I saw her, Twilight twitched in surprise. She recovered fast, but not before I caught it. I wondered what it meant.

“Ah,” she said, the self-satisfied smirk coming back. “So you aren’t always such a shut-in.”

“You’d know because you’re me,” I shot back, but Twilight simply chuckled.

“Oh… I’m glad you’re having fun,” she said, and again I caught that indiscernible emotion flicker across her features. Then she smiled, dismissing the statement with the small shake of her head. “Let’s have some time together. I have not spent these past few hours idly.”

I approached her with no small amount of caution. Who knew what I had in store for myself? “So…” I drawled, “what sort of prank requires this much preparation?”

Twilight’s smile spread slowly, looking more like the way a predator bares their fangs. I felt a shiver work its way down my spine.

 “I’m glad you asked.”


> 4 - Avoidance Tactics
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	
Chapter 4: Avoidance Tactics


How do you hide from yourself?


“You see that? Right in that corner there.”

I followed her hoof as she pointed to Luna smelling the roses and generally having what looked like a pleasant day. Well, so far.

“I don’t like this,” I muttered for the umpteenth time.

Twilight grinned at me, more caught up in the execution of her plan than my misgivings. Not that it would stop her anyway. 

“You got it?” she asked me.

I frowned, hefting the metal canister and seriously considered keeping it. I didn’t know what Twilight wanted with the canister, but if her past actions were any indication, it couldn’t be anything good. Wait a minute, that’s me. I’m her past actions. I muttered some choice words under my breath. Ah fine, whatever it was she was planning, she wouldn’t tell me. Besides, with the way time worked, even if I could guess what she was up to, there wouldn’t be a way to stop her. She would know. Eventually—reluctantly—I passed over the canister.

Twilight licked her lips as she took the container and opened it with ill-concealed relish. A quiet ‘pop’ and the lid came off. Hearing something, or by coincidence, Luna’s ears swivelled around. She perked up, her eyes raking her surroundings in wary scepticism. I stifled a gasp and Twilight shrunk back slightly.

“Anypony there?” she called out. 

When there was only silence, Luna reddened.

“Fie! Show yourselves!”

My heart felt like it was trying to leave through my mouth. I swallowed it back down and laid still like Twilight had told me. 

How did she hear us?!

Luna swept past us, but suddenly stopped, and whipped her head back, her eyes fixed directly at our position. I just barely prevented myself from flinching in surprise. By her suspicious scowl, it looked like she had spotted us in the bushes. She glared, her smouldering look feeling like lances in my chest as she locked gazes with me.

She knows, she knows, she knows! I screamed in my mind. We’re going to be found out!

A hoof touched mine and I nearly yelped, but I realised it was future-me, giving me a small smile of steady reassurance. She was completely at ease, wearing that ever-present smirk on her lips. I clamped down on my instinct that screamed at me to confess to a crime I hadn’t yet committed.

I’m not here. I’m not staring at you. It’s your imagination, Luna!

Luna peered owlishly for a few more seconds before she gave an almost imperceptible shrug and wandered off. I sagged in relief. Eventually, the debilitating fear slowly wound down, but my heart never stopped for a moment in trying to climb out of my chest and leap out of my throat.

“Oops,” Twilight said, putting away the canister with a reluctant sigh, “I forgot Luna had excellent hearing. I should have thought that one out more thoroughly. Wowee, how was that, though? Got the old adrenaline running?”

“That was the single most frightening experience I’ve ever had, and I faced off Princess Luna when she was Nightmare Moon. Why are you asking me anyway? You’ve been through it before.”

Twilight got up and shook her herself free of some of the leaves and twigs that had entangled themselves in her mane and coat. She trotted around.

“Sometimes it’s best to sample a delicacy afresh,” she answered cryptically. She beckoned with an impertinent hoof. “Come on! We can still move on with the plan, even though I didn’t expect that to happen.”

Again, I wrinkled my brow in confusion. “Don’t you already know?” I hissed back at her. “You should have already known that this was going to happen!”

Twilight shrugged with a smile so blithe I wanted to reach around and strangle her. “I can’t remember everything perfectly that far back. I just remember I pranked a princess, blah, blah, fun, blah, blah two days dungeon.”

“Two days what?!”

“I’m just messing with you,” Twilight replied with a monkey’s grin. “We don’t get into trouble. I think. Besides, the Princesses have a sense of humour.”

“How do you know this?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Honestly, it’s like you keep forgetting that I’m a princess too.”

That wasn’t fair! Of course I would forget about that, she never acted like one!

Twilight continued her thought, ignoring, or choosing to ignore, what I was thinking. I could never tell with my future-self. “Anyway, there’s always a backup, we’ll just have to find out who…”

“On whom?” I asked finally. “Anyway, we’ve tried, let’s go home.”

Twilight wrinkled her muzzle like she’d seen a quesadilla. “What are you, a walking dictionary?” She rolled her eyes and continued before I could say anything. “We continue onto Celestia, of course.”

I knew it, too good to be true. Now we move onto—

“Princess Celestia? W-What?” I squeaked. “You can’t prank the Princess.”

Twilight gave me a quizzical look. “And Luna is fine?”

“That’s not the point!”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh please, we’ve been through this, tell me you haven’t thought about it. No wait, you have. I know.”

I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks. “I didn’t! This is different!” There had been some tempting times when I was a foal, but I’d always had too much respect for the Princess to ever carry it out. There wasn’t much use denying it, though. “And you know as well as I why I wouldn’t!”

“Hmmm.” Twilight studied me in the same way I studied insects, then she snorted. “Anyway, you know Cadance can’t take a joke as well as Celestia.” She cocked her head. “Well she can, but you just know she’ll prank you ten times harder. That mare is a diabolical machine.”

“Well that’s not true…” I trailed off trying to dredge up a defence for my former foalsitter.

“You’re right,” Twilight replied thoughtfully. “It’s more like your overprotective brother.”

“Okay, that’s true,” I replied with a surprised giggle. Gosh, they were so in sync when they teamed up. “And he’s so possessive of Cadance sometimes.”

Twilight chuckled. “See? All good, you know I would think this through. After all, I’m thorough if nothing else.”

I considered it, then finally nodded. If there was one thing I could trust myself to do in the future, it was think things through. And read books. But mostly think things through.

“Fine,” I said grudgingly. “But the Princess? Really? Why can’t it just be a random pony?”

Twilight held a hoof to her chest as if she were offended by the notion.

“I’m insulted that you would think I would terrorise poor strangers I don’t even know.”

“And Luna’s okay?!” I shot back, mimicking her tone.

Twilight gave me a funny look. “Luna’s not a stranger. That’s just mean.”

I couldn’t keep up with her. “B-But—Oh why am I still arguing with you?!”

Twilight chuckled. “That’s the way. Give into the darkness. Okay, how about this? Whichever princess we find first, Celestia or Luna, we prank first. Fair?”

Baloney, nothing about this sounded remotely fair. Besides, we could be here all day, and she wouldn’t budge. She… I could be stubborn when I wanted to be. 

“Alright,” I grumbled, knowing that she was loving every second of this. “Let’s get going.” I made to leave, but Twilight lagged behind, forcing me to stop and turn around.

“What?” I snapped impatiently. “What is it now?”

“Actually,” she said, “on second thought, let’s prank the Princess. I know a way we could pull it off.”

I gaped at her, she probably offered a compromise just to get a rise out of me.

“You were going to do it anyway,” I stated sullenly.

“Indeed!” Twilight exclaimed. “It will be wonderful, I can’t wait to see that expression!”

I pursed my lips. Nothing had changed. “Fine, I’ll come with you, if only to keep you in line.”

“Oh no, a tattletale, I don’t want a pony like that as my partner!”

“I won’t tell!” I said defensively. “I just want to make sure you don’t break anything important.”

“I’m insulted that you don’t believe in yourself more.”

“If you weren’t you I’d be more confident in myself.”

She considered it, but shook her head. “No, no, you’d best go home, I don’t think you’re loose enough to help me anyway.”

Hot intoxicating indignation flooded my cheeks. “I can help! I can be fun!” The words flew out of my mouth before I could snatch them back. My hooves flew to my lips as I gazed, wide eyed, at Twilight.

Twilight sucked through her teeth, cocking her head as she studied me thoughtfully. She really was loving this. “Hmmm, okay, but we do it my way.”

I trotted right into that. This mare knew me from the inside out, how could I compete with that?

“You’re evil,” I grumbled darkly.

“Ouch, touché. Relax, it’s nothing serious, who knows? It might not even work.”

“What won’t?” I asked curiously.

Twilight wagged an admonishing hoof in front of me. “Ah ah ah! No spoilers. You would probably stop me if you knew.”

I rolled my eyes and huffed. “This better be worth it.”

Twilight rubbed her hooves together gleefully. Something frightening gleamed in her eyes. “Oh it will be, don’t you worry…”

I gulped, shying away from the mischievous gleam in her eyes.

Maybe I should have cut my losses way back there. This wasn’t worth a book, was it?

———————

Moments later, I found myself following myself.

I had doubts, but then again, this was a once in a lifetime chance to read the book of the ages. Who knew how long I would have to wait until I could lay my hooves on a book of this calibre again? Still, knowing that it was in my future did stymy my enthusiasm a little. I just had to play the waiting game and I would be able to read the book… but it’s such a rare book! Twilight was up to no good, but if she was me, I would never do anything too rash. Pranking the Princess would be harmless enough. I’m sure the Princess can appreciate a good joke. I hope.

Twilight nudged me with her shoulder as we walked down one of the corridors casually. She seemed to know exactly where she was going, as if sneaking into the castle was simply second-nature to her. Out in the gardens, Twilight had led me to a secret alcove that had a rather ornate carving in the stone surface. Grinning as she waggled her eyebrows at me, the alicorn pushed the carving and stepped back. With a groaning moan like the castle was laboriously shifting the stone itself, a hidden passageway opened up. 

“H-How did you know about this?”

Twilight blinked. “Hmm? Oh this? I’ve had experiences with castles and secret passageways.”

She didn’t expand on that as we entered the alcove. Inside, there wasn’t much light so Twilight used her horn to light the way. I could have done it, but I was too late, and she did it so naturally as if the spell didn’t take anything out of her at all. A light spell wasn’t a very hard spell, but it did take some time to cast and required a substantial amount of finesse to transfer energy to the air around your horn.

The air would emit a red light due to fluorescent scattering, but the up conversion of the spell pushed it towards blue and purple. If one was a particularly accomplished spell caster, the up conversion could be regulated to give the whole spectrum instead of a blue light. Something like that required practice and control that was almost impossible for a unicorn. Twilight seemed at ease, though, casting an eerie white glow all around us. If she was my future, then I was capable of things that right now would seem impossible to me too. I was able to cast white light of course, but multi-spell casting like the levitation in addition to the light was was beyond my ability.

Frustrating as the idea was, she was definitely a better spell caster than I was. Element of Magic indeed.

As we emerged from the narrow tunnel, Twilight flicked a lever and the stone slid back, though more silently this time.

“Quickly,” Twilight said, nudging me forward as I tried to get my bearing at the sudden change of lighting.

We were inside the castle! How was that possible? I thought I knew the castle like the back of my hoof. Where were we?

Twilight scouted ahead, before waving at me to catch up. Caught up in her stealthy mannerism, I found myself aping her movements. We always managed to turn a corner, sidestep into a side-corridor, or drift into a room just as a guard appeared.

“Why are we avoiding the guards?” I asked. “And how do you know?”

Twilight swept her gaze around, scanning for any threats, before answering my question. “The point is surprise, right?”

I nodded.

“So wouldn’t it be a little suspicious if there was suddenly an alicorn wandering around?”

“Oh,” I replied sheepishly. “I-I guess that’s true.”

Twilight chuckled. “And now you see why I’m the boss.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Excuse me?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Since I am you from the future, I’m technically smarter than you.”

“W-Well that’s not always true!” I spluttered. Well, I had to admit that her grasp of magic was better than mine, but that might simply be because she was an alicorn!

“No,” she said, as if she could read my thoughts. Wait, she could! That’s cheating! “I’ve literally had more time to study than you.”

“You could be going senile,” I muttered grouchily. “So in that case, I would be smarter than you.”

Twilight didn’t look fazed. “Alicorns don’t get senile. And did you seriously wish yourself senile in the future?”

Not to be dissuaded from the sudden opening, I crossed my arms and smirked at her triumphantly. “And how would you know that?”

Her response was low and quiet. “Trust me, I know.”

I guess I was ready for banter, or playful riposte from myself, so I couldn’t come up with a response to her unexpected reticence.

“Oh…” was all I could say.

Twilight perked up, shaking away the cobwebs of her hidden past with one swift movement. “Come on,” she urged. “The corridor should be clear now.”

Like a phantom had entered, paused, then left the room, the mood slowly lifted. Twilight continued as if nothing had happened, babbling something about her plans to ensnare Princess Celestia. Around us were the familiar sights and sounds of Canterlot castle. After quick successive journeys to and fro from Ponyville and Canterlot, I was starting to feel a little tired, and lagged, so it was starting to get hard to pay attention. Where I would usually note the new vases, changes to the drapes and the….

Wait, why was the decor different?

“Twilight,” I hissed, pulling back in alarm.

The alicorn stopped. “What? We can’t stay here, there will be a guard in the next twenty or so seconds.”

“There’s something different with the drapes.”

“What?”

“The drapes. They’re different,” I said meaningfully.

“Hmm? Is that a problem?”

Why didn’t my future-self get it?

“Because,” I began with exaggerated patience. Then my ears swivelled as I heard hoofsteps approaching. Two sets. Guards! “Quick! Where’s the next hiding place?”

Twilight twitched, but didn’t hesitate. “Down here.”

We wedged ourselves in a small alcove behind a flower vase.

“Is this going to hide us?” I whispered in alarm.

“Shh, ponies will see what they want to see. Just be the flower.”

“Be the flow—” Her hoof clamped over my mouth.

I heard the hoof steps get closer, then pause.

“Funny,” I heard the guard say. “I swear I heard something.”

“See?” the other guard with her said. “It was just your imagination. These corridors are rarely used. What pony would be out here anyway?”

“Hmm…”

Go away, go away, go away, I thought furiously.

“Yeah, you’re probably right, nopony would be down here. I must be hearing things.”

“Get your hearing checked, old dam.”

“H-Hey, I’m still thirty!”

As the guard retreated, I let out a breath. Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“What’s with your freakout?”

“Why are we down in the restricted areas?” I hissed back. I don’t know why I lowered my voice. Twilight had spoken to me at a conversational level. The alicorn looked at the drapes, then at the vase. I could see the realisation light up her face like sun dawning.

“Well of course,” she said in a matter-of-fact tone, “you do know they’re restricted? Hardly anypony would be down here and it’s the best place to sneak in.”

“W-We can’t be in here!” I squeaked. “What if the Princess finds us?”

“We’re going to prank her. It’s worth it.”

“No it isn’t, this is serious!”

Twilight snorted. “Relax, the Princess won’t mind.”

“How do you know?”

“Do you really have to ask that?” she said with a cocked head, and a cockier grin.

“You’re pushing it,” I warned, stomping my hoof for emphasis. “The future is irrelevant; I want to know now!”

Twilight sighed. “Woah, hey, okay. Calm down. We’re clear of this area, so we don’t get caught here. We fail in pranking the Princess, for some reason.”

What? Fail? But—

“Then why are we trying?” I asked incredulously.

“An experiment. I assume you’re acquainted with the notion?”

I nodded with exaggerated patience. “Ye-es…”

“So, it could be different this time around. There are gaps in my memory. Some events are fixed and have chronology, but others may not. I don’t know why it fails or what happens after.”

“Why are there gaps in your memory?”

“I deliberately put them there,” Twilight replied, her expression as glib as ever.

“WHAT?!”

She shrugged. “Not all of them, yeesh. It’s so I can travel back. Something about preventing the collapse of all known realities. It was in Star Swirl’s Final Notes and Addendum. In it, there’s a chapter just on causality. Star Swirl wondered why his time travel spells had such short durations.” She smirked. “It’s a good read, you should read it.” 

No wonder future-me had that book with her, it was integral to her time travel knowledge!

“You see,” she continued, ignoring my gasp, “Star Swirl had this notion of ‘information conservation’. There was time symmetry, but causality only flowed in one direction. There’s a lot you can do with information—foreknowledge—but you can’t make it spontaneously appear out of nothing. A closed time loop is forbidden. At least, that’s what he thought.

“By erasing my memories, it protects causality and allows me to alter my own past, because essentially I’m not altering the present with my knowledge. I wanted to see if it would actually make a difference to the chronology.”

“So… you just erase a block of memory in the past and then do something and hope it changes the future?”

Twilight nodded. “Yep, something like that.”

“That’s crazy!”

Twilight laughed. “Tell that to Star Swirl.”

“I mean you!”

She flicked back some loose mane strands casually. “What do you mean?”

“Why would you erase your memories permanently to come back—”

“Woah, woah, woah! I’m as adventurous as the next mare, but I’m you, remember? I wouldn’t erase my memories permanently! They’re all stored back in the future, for retrieval. That way I can do a true comparison.”

“B-But that’s got to break some law of causality.”

“Well if it does, I’ll know. It’s a great experiment! Star Swirl’s Addendum is a masterpiece.”

I shook my head in astonishment. “I’ve never heard of Star Swirl writing that.”

 “Well of course you haven’t, it contains instructions on how to time travel and such, which was thought to be impossible back then. He would have been the laughing stock if he couldn’t prove it. Or maybe he had another reason to keep it hidden?” She drifted briefly, then gave her head a gentle shake. “Anyway, it’s useful. Go look at it later.”

Despite being disturbed by her, frankly, reckless experimentation—something I would personally never do—her theory on why she erased her memories made sense in a sort of twisted kind of way. Really weird, but kind of mind-boggling. How did she protect her memories from causal influence? How does that work? Is that even allowed? What kind of magic was required—

I blinked. It was almost too easy to sink into research mode. I guess I could sort of see myself trying it out, especially if I had the power. I glanced at her. And the time. 

I cleared my throat, determined to pursue this. There were still some parts that weren’t so clear. “So if you don’t know how we fail, how’re we supposed to prevent that? Wait. If you know we’re going to fail how come that doesn’t count as knowledge brought back from the present?”

“Oh, well, I don’t actually know, we’re going to fail, I just know something is going to happen to make me feel disappointed and frustrated.”

“What?”

“Apparently my emotions are vague enough to let me have quite some agency, if I begin to violate a rule, the spell sends me back before I can do something. It’s one of many safeguards written in the spell.”

“Why have safeguards?” I said. “What are they guarding against?”

“Three things,” Twilight said. “One, Star Swirl thought that if you changed the past enough, you might prevent your future-self from actually going back into the past and that would be very bad.”

I nodded, that made sense.

“Two, it could be that reality wouldn’t actually be able to handle it and would wink out of existence, and replace the whole thing with an alternate construct in which the spell failed.”

I made a face. “That doesn’t sound very plausible.”

“Alternatively, reality could just collapse and never return, or the universe resets to tabula rāsa.”

“That’s… a lot more concerning.”

Twilight waggled a hoof. “Last, but definitely not least, it could do nothing and your trip back could actually cause a cascade effect. What you did in the past actually changed something.”

I tilted my head. “Cascade effect?”

“It’s basically his words for the ‘butterfly effect’ before the boffins at Neighture coined the term. The cascade effect or ‘waterfall point’ was what Star Swirl feared would happen. What if you returned to the future and it was vastly different? What if you didn’t like it? What if you had to stop yourself from starting the cascade? What if in doing so you’ve erased your own causal purpose and it’s always doomed to fail? What if you return to the future and it’s no longer inhabitable? You could perish on your return!”

My jaw dropped.

“Don’t worry,” Twilight said. “The spell is continuously checking the future to see if it sufficiently deviates enough from the alternate frame of reference that’s buried in my mind. That’s why I have a block of memory missing, essentially it’s stored in an alternate timeline, which is why this spell requires so much power. Or at least that’s how Star Swirl explained it, it’s entirely possible that, without further investigation, I’m just powering a whole lot of nothing and I’ve lost my memories forever.”

She smiled at my expression. “But that’s pretty unlikely, I think.”

“Dear Celestia…” I whispered.

“Oh don’t be such a downer. I’m sure it’ll work out.”

Well, if I say so… How could she be so casual about this? A nervous thought occurred to me. “What if you disabled the safeguards?”

“Then I would quickly find out which one of the three outcomes was the right one.”

Her cavalier attitude was really putting me off. What the heck happened to me all these years?

“That’s an insane amount of theory,” I said, deflecting my thought away from the depressive notion. “I-I don’t think I would ever have the guts to try it.”

Twilight burst out laughing.

“Sorry!” she said, catching my withering look. “Sorry, it’s just that you obviously did or I wouldn’t be here. Also this explanation doesn’t actually put you off because—”

“—Because you haven’t been sent back,” I finished for her. Right. How could I forget?

I licked my lips, considering more questions, but decided that hanging around in the restricted section of the castle was not the best way to sate my curiosity. “So… we’re going to try and prank the Princess, but you think we’re going to fail?”

Twilight smiled. “Possibly? This run of tests is exciting!”

“Run? How often have you done this?”

“Oh… I’ve lost count, but seeing how my memory is full of loopbacks, I think I’ve done it a bunch of times. This is the earliest memory I have of time travel, so I guess this must be the farthest back I go, unless I visited myself as a foal or something, but that’s kind of dangerous, so I left that out.”

Time spells, causality, potentially ending reality?!

“Don’t worry,” she continued, “you get used to me.”

I rolled my eyes. Note to self: Be a better role-model to your past self. I made to move, then I froze.

“Wait. If that was all feelings, how did you know we weren’t going to be caught in the restricted area?”

“I didn’t,” she said breezily. “I just calculated our odds were pretty low because I knew this place back to front.”

“So what happens if we get caught?” I repeated, my voice felt like gravel sliding over granite.

“Ah, well there’s always plan B?” she replied mischievously.

My eyes narrowed suspiciously at her easy manner. “What’s that?

“We use an invisibility spell and sneak away before she arrives.”

“I can’t use an invisibility spell, that’s way beyond my current abilities.”

“Oh… well I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

I gaped after her as she trotted off nonchalantly. 

That little…

So she thinks the prank was going to fail?

How about a self-fulfilling prophecy?

> 5 - Control Measures
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	
Chapter 5: Control Measures


A good experiment is aware of one’s effect on themselves.


Ever tried walking on air? It’s pretty impossible even when you know how it’s done.

“This is really hard.”

Twilight glanced over from her perch like the way Opal lazes on top of Rarity’s wardrobe. She shrugged good-naturedly. “It’s basically lifting yourself, so it would be pretty difficult for a unicorn. I congratulate myself for doing something so difficult so young.” She patted herself on the back.

I raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that for me?”

Twilight giggled. “You’ll get it later.”

After sneaking and sliding and keeping my heart pumping with enough adrenaline to last me a couple of lifetimes, we made it to the southernmost point of the castle, at the highest elevation: the observation tower. Twilight told me something about it being unoccupied at the moment, but that didn’t stop me from jumping in surprise when the door squeaked shut from the draft.

Despite my yelp, nothing happened and Twilight spent a few minutes teaching me the ‘lighter than air’ spell. Which I had difficulties with, not only with the technicality of the spell, but the unsettling notion that I was several hundred feet above the ground.

My hoof lifted hesitantly, then came down on the slightly elastic surface of the spell. It was too giving, it always made me feel like I was about to fall through it rather than be supported. If I wasn’t so distracted with trying to balance on a flat disc of air, I would probably be less patient with future-me’s poorly timed jokes. You’d think she’d get tired of them, but no, she was inexhaustible. My tolerance with her and her jokes was beginning to wear thin, and quickly too.

“Comfortable?” Twilight said after I’d finally settled on my patch of air.

I remained silent, not giving her the satisfaction of answering.

“Oh come on, it’s not all that bad. Look, we have some time before we need to get things going so let’s enjoy it while we can.”

I scanned the skies, half-expecting a patrol to drop down on us. “Aren’t you afraid there’s going to be a passing pegasus patrol?”

“Don’t be so paranoid. This is a no-fly zone, remember?” She shook her head. “And there aren’t any pegasi guards that patrol here.”

“Really?” Even though I’d been around the castle often enough, it never occurred to me to find out what the security was like around Canterlot Castle. “I would have thought there’d be more, seeing as the Princesses are here.”

Twilight chuckled. “Oh, Twilight, Twilight, Twilight, these are peaceful times, you’d hardly need that many guards. What are you expecting, a diabolical plot to overthrow the throne?”

“No,” I replied, slightly mollified by her flagrant dismissal. “I just thought it’d be… you know, more secure.”

Twilight shrugged. “The castle is more for diplomats than for defence. It was built more for ostentatious purposes, as a way to mark the following Age of Prosperity after the Discord’s Reign. Did the guards help when the changelings were around?”

Though I knew much of history, it seemed like Twilight was full of tidbits that filled in the gaps of my knowledge. Wait, there was something that she said that felt off. She mentioned something earlier… What was it? The notion lurked in the back of my mind like an itch I couldn’t scratch. I remember it was something about causality…

“Oh, anyway, you should take a look out that way,” Twilight continued, interrupting my thoughts. “From this vantage point you can see the surrounding city. See? Wasn’t it worth it to sneak up to one of the higher towers?”

I wouldn’t have done it alone, that’s for sure, but I could appreciate the panoramic vista from our spot. We were above Canterlot Gardens, but not too far to the left was the steep cliffs and the iconic waterfall, and to the right was the castle itself, tall and imposing. In front was the hustle and bustle of Canterlot. I could see the tiny figures of ponies moving about slowly, looking much like ants, rather than ponies.

“Why are we up here anyway?”

“What? Scared of heights?”

I shuffled my hooves and glanced down. The view of the courtyard below swam slightly as I took a sharp breath. “Uhh… a little,” I admitted reluctantly. Who wouldn’t be?

Twilight looked surprised. “I keep forgetting that once I got these—” she gave herself a once over, lingering on her wings “—the fear of heights pretty much wore off.”

“Is that a common thing?” I asked wryly.

“Getting wings? Hardly. Being an alicorn? Rare but it happens. Surprisingly more often than you think.” Twilight gave me a lopsided smirk. “Anyway wings are convenient, it gives you confidence. Why do you think Rainbow can sleep comfortably in swaying trees?”

“Fluttershy doesn’t.”

Twilight snorted. “You and I both know that Fluttershy is an exception amongst most ponies, if not pegasi.”

I couldn’t really argue with that. I found myself off-topic, Twilight had a habit of distracting me, winding me down paths I never even considered. Time to get to the heart of the matter. “So again, before I get too derailed by your rambling—”

“Hah!”

I ignored her interjection and ploughed on. “—can you at least let me in on why we’re up here?”

Twilight stretched on her patch of air, flexing herself while she cocked her head, as if she was seriously considering whether she would tell me or not. That was yet another thing about her that got to me, she always knew how to wind me up. I refuse to think of her as me. The similarities stopped at a shared interest in books. I won’t—will not—be a pony like her when I got to… whatever her age was.

“Did you read my letter?” she asked after a brief moment of silence.

“Uhh…” I didn’t. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“I’ll tell you if you’ve read the letter,” Twilight said. “It’s nearly Thursday. You must have been dying to know.”

Actually, I’d completely forgotten about it when all of this started happening.

“Y-Yes?” I said with all the confidence of a penguin in an forest fire.

“Really?” she drawled, staring at me. I was sweating bullets, but I stuck with my statement, it would be too late to back out now. 

Twilight eyed me for a few moments longer, then finally shrugged. “Okay then, if you’re sure.”

I sighed, trying not to make my relief noticeable. Future-Twilight sure knew how to put the pressure on. For an instant, she seemed to have the bearing of royalty. It felt like the time during school when I snapped at a snooty bully and set her coat on fire. When Princess Celestia found out, she gave me such a cold look of disappointment, it had almost stopped my heart. Nopony bothered me anymore, though I think they kind of kept their distance, though I hadn’t minded so much.

“It’s about time,” Twilight explained, her undercurrent of mirth returning like the breaking of storm clouds.

“What?” I asked cautiously.

“Time,” she said impatiently. “Celestia’s tea time, to be exact.”

I didn’t follow.

“What?”

Twilight puckered her lips, like she was a teacher dealing with a particularly slow student. “Celly has her tea time at this moment, every Thursday. We’re going to do it here.”

I pursed my lips. “Just because you’re an alicorn, doesn’t mean you can call the Princess, ‘Celly’.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “I’m a princess too, you know.”

I raised an eyebrow. “A Princess of what, exactly?”

She didn’t answer, she just gave me a self-satisfied smirk. She just casually ran a hoof down her wings while I tried not to get caught up in her self-aggrandisement.

Folding my arms, I sat on my patch of air and stared at her. I still had doubts about doing this.

Twilight caught my look and stopped, her lips twitching in amusement. “Okay, okay, you’re impatient, little-me. When you get older, you learn to take things at their natural pace.”

“How old—”

“Ah ba-bup! Rude to ask a lady that question, even among friends.”

“We’re not friends!”

Twilight laughed. “Really? I thought you liked making friends. Isn’t the whole point of you being here because you wanted to make friends?”

“That’s…” I trailed off trying to think of a comeback. “Gah!”

Twilight whistled. “Eloquent.”

“I decide who I’m friends with,” I finally retorted. “Sometimes, ponies don’t mesh well together, you don’t have to force yourself to be friends with everypony.”

Twilight nodded sagely. “Right, right, so what qualities qualifies somepony as a potential friend?”

The way she was going along with what I was saying was suspicious, but I answered her anyway.

“They… would have to get to know me.” Before I even finished the statement I whacked myself in the forehead.

Twilight giggled. “Oh, well who better than me? I know practically everything about you!”

I could feel my eyebrows draw together as I thought furiously of other plausible criteria.

“Shared interests.”

“Books!”

“Availability.”

“I can be there whenever you want!”

“Funny!”

“Ate your chocolates!”

“Generous!”

“Gave you chocolates!”

“Kind!”

“Left you the best chocolates!”

“Honest!”

“Told you about the chocolates!”

“Loyal!”

“I’ll always eat your chocolates!”

“Kind, generous, loyal, funny, and honest!”

“All of the above, and I’m magical.”

I huffed. She knew what I knew, there was no way to outsmart her.

Unless…

“Makes me happy when they’re around!”

Twilight’s head reared back in surprise.

Gotcha!

Then a slow smile spread on her lips.

“What?” I demanded.

“You’re smiling,” she said.

 The grin died, quick as a flash, but I had already lost the war before I could even think of winning the battle. I pressed my lips together as I tried to think of something, anything.

Twilight arched an eyebrow at my silence. She affected a hurt expression. “I’ve been trying so hard to be your friend and after all this you say we aren’t?”

I searched for the right words to frame my thoughts. “W-Well when you put it that way…”

Twilight smiled, though it didn’t feel as genuine as before. “Okay, we’re not friends now! Isn’t that great?”

“B-But y-you—”

Twilight shrugged. “Oh don’t worry about it. I’ll get over it. Besides, if you really don’t want to be friends with me, that’s fine. You don’t have to be friends with yourself, right? That’s weird.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just sat there like a mute puppet.

Twilight shook her head. “Alright, enough of that, we’re here for a mission, and you’re here for a book.”

I nodded, feeling ill-at-ease, but no longer for the prank. For some reason, I felt like I did something wrong. It’s only natural not to be friends with somepony you don’t like, right? I didn’t want to think about it.

“So what do I do?” I said, desperate to fill in the silence with my voice.

“You don’t have to do anything. I just wanted you to tag along.”

“What the heck? You mean all this time I could be at home reading?!”

Twilight shrugged. “You need to get out more. This is a good opportunity.”

“But—”

“Oh look, here she comes!”

Twilight fiddled with the canister while I stared at the other end of the courtyard. From our vantage point, I could see the Princess’ recognisable splash of white on the backdrop of grass, sculptured hedges and the simple stone path. She paced along sedately, but now that the Princess was close by I had a feeling we would be discovered any second. I pawed nervously at my little patch of solid air.

“Hey, she’s coming close!” I said urgently.

“Here, hold this.” She passed the canister back to me.

“What is it?” I asked her suspiciously. Twilight hadn’t thought to bring saddlebags with her, so she had stowed it in mine.

“It’s sunspark.”

“Sunspark?”

“Sunspark. You know, concentrated sunlight. Distilled essence of light magic. Ambrosia. It has a lot of names.”

“What’s that going to do?”

Twilight shrugged, then pointed down. I glanced down and spotted Luna nearby as well. I stared. Oh… well maybe she’ll give up—

“Great,” she whispered gleefully, “two for the price of one sacrifice.”

“What? Sacrif—”

“Nothing. Take this to her as well.” She held out yet another canister. 

Too late, I realised that I’d grabbed the canisters with telekinesis… and forgot to keep the air spell going.

Her devious grin was one the last things filling my vision as I fell, and I screamed the only thing I could say in a situation like this.

“Twilight! I’ll get you back foooooorr thiiiiiiissss!”

The ground was rushing up fast, but I felt a sideways jerk and hit something hard. Then things got patchy.

———————

Murky shadows drifted in and out of my vision. I think I saw an elephant and Smarty Pants.

“Are you alright, Twilight Sparkle?”

“No, not her,” I mumbled. “Get her away from me.”

“That’s not very nice, Luna was only trying to help.”

“Indeed, it seems your student is not grateful that I had saved her life.”

“No, not you,” I grumbled with a frown. “Get me away from myself.”

“Ah, well then Luna, you need not take that to heart. It seems Twilight is fighting a battle against herself.”

“Do you mean that literally, sister?”

“Time travel.”

“Ah.”

Time travel? Where was I? Wait. In the garden. Near the Princess.

I sat up, eyes shooting open.

“Oof!”

“Oww!”

Stars and sparkles burst into my vision as an intense pain shot through my forehead. My vision had cleared just enough to make out a dark blue coat… oh Luna. I had knocked Luna on the head as she was leaning over me. I clasped a hoof to my head.

“Sow-wy!” I mumbled groggily. I shook my head to clear the remaining fuzziness. “Ooooh, that’s going to hurt a lot more later. Stupid me. Stupid future-me.”

My head throbbed.

“Or it can hurt right now, I don’t get to choose,” I grumbled.

Luna rubbed the spot on her head with her own hoof, but gave me a gracious smile. “Worry not, Twilight, such an insult is a minor thing. I am also quite acquainted with worries of time-travelling self-aggravation. Such is a part of an alicorn’s struggles.” Luna flicked her hoof, but winced and placed it back on her head. I suddenly had a vision of waking up and getting skewered on her horn. I found it incredibly funny and started laughing.

“Insult? What’s that? Insult, insult, insult.” I knew the word but the meaning was slipping out of my hooves. I could feel my brow wrinkling in confusion. It was hard to parse through what she just said. My head was starting to spin again and the world was a little more blurry than usual. I shook my head a few times, but it wouldn’t go away.

“Injury,” Princess Celestia clarified, and I shifted my gaze right. The fall and the knock to the head must have made me a little delirious, because the words that came out of my mouth didn’t sound anything like me.

“I have something for you, Celly!” I fumbled around in my saddlebags and fumbled the canister over. Celly? I didn’t talk like that.

Celestia’s mouth pulled into an amused smile, while Luna giggled at the name. She lifted the canister gently.

“Why Twilight, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you call me that.”

“You probably will,” I slurred. “In the future!”

I don’t think I made it past that point, because everything faded back into impressions again.

———————

The next time I woke up, or more accurately, lucid, the day was breaking and I realised it was Thursday. Around me were the nostalgic, but vaguely unfamiliar sheets of my little study room I had close to the castle’s library. I got up unsteadily, crawling rather than slipping out of bed to get to my old desk.

The table bore a handwritten note.

Dear Twilight,

If you’re reading this, you must be up and about. Please make your way to my chambers as soon as you are able. If I’m not in, feel free to come back later, please make sure you tell a guard so I know you are safe.

Kind regards,

Princess Celestia

P.S. Luna says, ‘Greetings, hope you are well.’, but she’s tired and has taken to bed.

Everything came back to me all at once. I let the letter flutter to the table. Oh no. Nope. Nadda. No way. I didn’t…

I embarrassed myself in front of the Princesses didn’t I?

Around me was the familiarity of my little study room. It didn’t look like anypony had been using it recently. It could be because the Princess hadn’t had a student in a while. I stopped as I caught myself in the mirror. It was a small piece that hung on the wall and I could barely fit my face in it. When I was a foal, it seemed plenty big enough for my purposes. I barely used it, apart from checking that everything was in place.

I looked like a mess. My mane was tangled and matted. My eyes had slight bags under them and my mouth was creased into a frown that was rapidly turning into distasteful pout. There was a lot left to be desired. I wasn’t in the best condition to see the Princess. It was still early, the sun had just risen and I could feel the rays warming the nape of my neck and casting dappled patches through the faintly coloured stained glass.

I wondered what I would look like, all out of sorts and facing the Princess. I should clean myself up a bit.

There was a small comb, a little too small for me, but I dragged it through my mane as I pieced together my shattered thoughts. Twilight had taken off somewhere, seeing as how the Princess hadn’t mentioned her. I was taken to the study room, possibly because I was out of commission and the canisters—

Where were the canisters?!

I drew myself away from the mirror and cast it around the room. Not on the bed, not in the sheets, not under the bed, not on the shelves, not anywhere! Wait, where were my saddlebags? I raked the room, then turned around, about to ask the staff if they’d seen it, but then spotted it hanging on the door.

“Oh,” I mumbled sheepishly, though nopony would be around to hear it. I took down the saddlebag and rifled through it, but the canisters weren’t there. There could only be one explanation for that. The Princesses had taken them.

“Sweet Celestia, I’m going to kill myself when I find myself.”

———————

I opened the door and found her just standing there.

“Hey there,” said barging in past me.

My mouth popped open. “Y-You!”

She raised her hoof and gasped at me. “M-Me!” She giggled at my expression.

“That’s not funny!” I snapped.

“Oh it was hilarious, lighten up, you should have seen your expression this whole time!” She placed her fore hooves and squished her cheeks as she gasped. “Oh no, not the Princesses! We can’t prank anypony! I’m the fun police!”

“That’s not true!”

“It’s true, you should listen to yourself. Because that’s what I am. You.”

“You lied to me!”

Twilight held out a hoof. “Technically, I never did. We did prank a princess. You’re a princess.”

“I’m not!”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes you are,” she explained patiently, “in the future, remember?”

Irrelevant! She was trying to sidetrack me again.

“You let me fall!” I shouted, losing the last shreds of my patience. “And you’re standing there, like nothing happened!”

Twilight looked mystified. “What?”

“You let me fall,” I ground out again.

Twilight tilted her head. “Luna caught you. I saw her, she was going to save you. I had a spell ready. You weren’t in any danger. Plus, you head-butted Luna, I had nothing to do with that. Pretty much all the damage was really done to yourself by yourself.” I shrugged uncomfortably. “As in not me.” She brightened. “And come on, your expression was worth it.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say back so I just stood there, my jaw working open and closed.

“Come on, that was pretty good, wasn’t it?” she pressed giving me a blithe smile.

That did it.

“I want you gone,” I said quietly.

Her smile froze. “Uhh, what?”

“Just go, now.”

Twilight stood there as if she wasn’t sure I was serious. But I was. Deadly serious.

She cleared her throat. “Where to?”

“I don’t know, back to your future, wherever you want, just go, don’t come back.”

Twilight sighed. “Really, are you sure?”

“Yes,” I snapped. “Just go already!”

Twilight looked at me sadly, like she was disappointed in me. Herself. Myself. Whatever.

“You didn’t read the letter, did you?”

“I don’t care about the letter! I don’t care about you! Everything would have been better if you hadn’t come back, if you didn’t come back here!”

Twilight looked at me with my deep, amethyst eyes as the lingering echoes of my shout died away.

“If you wish,” she simply stated, then she disappeared.

I glared at the spot in the wall where she had been, feeling tears of frustration gather in the corners of my eyes. Slowly, I let the tension flow out of my muscles and relaxed. She was gone. Just like that.

I thought I should feel happy, or ecstatic, but I felt empty inside.

I shook my head. Why was I here feeling sorry for myself? She was the one who overstepped the bounds. Or I would be, but I wouldn’t, I just…

I stomped to the desk and picked up the letter, wiping away my tears angrily.

Nothing. I should get going.

——————

It was a harrowing experience, walking gingerly down the hallways that I had frequented in my youth. I was in two minds of being relaxed by the familiarity and feeling the dread slowly make its way through my body with every step I took in the direction of the Princess’ room. Though I was still technically the Princess’ student, she hadn’t taken direct control over my studies in some time, so it felt like I was in a weird twilight zone of eerie discomfort. Where I felt that Princess Celestia would be disappointed, but even worse, maybe even disinterested, because I wasn’t even her responsibility anymore. Still, I had to warn her about the canisters. Who knew what Twilight did with them?

It was an irrational fear, but I couldn’t dismiss it, no matter how much I tried to reason with myself.

Too soon, I found myself outside her chambers. Two stoic guards stood bored outside her door. They were her personal guards, so she must be in. They both recognised me, but didn’t say anything, just smiling in recognition.

“Hello,” I said nervously, not expecting a reply. Anything they said would be a breach in protocol anyway.

“The Princess is expecting you,” the one on the left said. It was Jasper, the more friendlier of the Princess’ contingent of guards.

“Thank you,” I said in a small voice as I edged past them.

Jasper raised his eyebrow at my behaviour, but I just hunched my shoulders and tried to not look like a wooden board that happened to sprout four legs.

The doors didn’t make a sound as they opened, and throughout the whole time I’ve ever been in the castle, I’ve never heard a single door squeak. One pony, apparently, was in charge of oiling all the doors every month or so. She was very diligent, but I heard one of the servants saying that Lilac hated the job, because it took her a whole day just to do every single door in the castle, what with the castle having that many doors.

Shutting the door wasn’t as soundless, and the click interrupted what was unmistakably quill on parchment. I heard the heavy nib set down on the table and the Princess swung around in her seat, looking as radiant as ever, and larger than life. The way her mane cascaded down with shimmering sparkles of muted light glowing in its strands gave her an ethereal appearance, she truly looked like the magical royalty she represented.

I found myself comparing her to myself from the future. I didn’t act anything like a princess, my mane still looked the same, if only a bit longer, and apart from the wings, nopony would know I was a princess, what with me devoid of any official regalia that fashionably framed the pony in front of me. I was about as far as a pony could get from being royal. If it weren’t for the wings, I’d never had believed her.

I dismissed the thoughts irritably. She wasn’t my concern anymore. Now it was damage control.

“Good Morning, Princess,” I said with a slight bow. The way I hitched on ‘morning’ betrayed the true depth of my widening anxiety.

“Good Morning, Twilight,” she replied sedately. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, Princess,” I lied, turning my gaze downwards.

If Celestia caught onto my reticence, she didn’t say anything. I heard her chair scrape back and hoof steps getting closer by the second.

“I got this from you while you were… indisposed,” she said innocently.

I glanced up, seeing her gentle smile and gulping audibly. 

She knew…

“Princess,” I said unsteadily. “I can explain.”

Princess Celestia merely raised an eyebrow as her expression turned serious. “I should think so,” she replied. “Where did you get such a thing?”

I kept quiet. Even if I pinned it on my future-self I was still technically responsible for my own actions, future, or not. At least she was gone.

“It was me,” I admitted softly. “I did it.”

“No wonder,” she replied in amazement. “Thank you so much, my faithful student! This is the best present I could have asked for.”

I leaned back in surprise. “Princess?”

“Twilight, I don’t know how you knew my birthday, or that Luna’s was next week, but I’ve never received a gift of this calibre.” The canister flipped around and underneath I saw an engraving carved subtly on its surface.

Happy Birthday, Princess Celestia.

Flabbergasted, I just watched as she opened the canister with a pop. A gentle golden glow emanated from the inside, wreathing her features in gentle light. “Sunspark,” Celestia said breathlessly. “How did you know?”

“I… didn’t, Princess.”

I really didn’t. What was she talking about?

Celestia smiled, replacing the lid and patting the canister. “Oh you’re so modest, Twilight. Sunspark is a rare ingredient for both potion brewing and even just for tasting. It has both magical curative and soothing properties that makes practically any delicacy taste better!” Her eyes were wide with excitement. “It’s extremely hard to get, let alone trap in such a convenient form. This must have taken years of studying magic to achieve!” She brought out the other canister. “And how did you know that Luna liked Moonshine?”

“Uhh…” The rest of my sentence trailed off as the Princess, Princess Celestia herself, gleefully wrapped her hooves around me and hugged me tight like a mother would her foal. I found my mind going blank as I struggled to make sense of the situation.

“Thank you, Twilight. This is the best present I could have ever received!”

“Y-You’re welcome, Princess,” I managed to stammer. Outwardly, I smiled and patted her on the side, the only place I could reach with my hooves trapped to my chest. Inside, I was screaming.

What the heeeeeeeck?

———————

Princess Celestia had continued to shower me with praise as I could only nod and smile weakly. The whiplash in mood had left me spinning and all I did was just reluctantly accept her enthusiastic thanks. The Princess seemed to come alive, and doubtless she might have thrown me a feast or held a national holiday with the way she was going, if the guards hadn’t interrupted and drew her away for an urgent court matter. With another hug, the Princess drew away and told me she’d treasure the canister for a long time to come.

I left the castle, escaping with little shreds of my sanity hanging from the corners of my mind.

I think a huge misunderstanding was made, but I didn’t want to stop the Princess mid-way through her excited monologue. She really, genuinely, enjoyed the ‘prank’. But it hadn’t been a prank. I had to track down my future-self. What game was she playing?

I opened the door back to my study room, intending to retrieve my saddlebags. I half-expected her to leap out and laugh at me, to mock me again for being so naive.

But the room was empty.
	


> 6 - Last Resort
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	
Chapter 6: Last Resort


When all else fails, the only pony you can trust is yourself.


On the way back, I trudged to the station, feeling like I carried a lot more than just my saddlebags. It should have been lighter, without all the stuff future-Twilight made me carry. I frowned, having stopped in the middle of the road, and quickly apologised to a couple of ponies that skirted around, shooting daggers at me as they muttered. Belatedly, I moved to the side and rifled through my left saddlebag, the one that felt heavier as if…

...as if it had a book in it.

Inside was Star Swirl’s Addendum and the letter that Twilight had written for me.

When had she? It wasn’t there the first time I’d looked.

With a sigh, I shoved them back into my saddlebag and marched to the station. Whatever, it wasn’t my problem.

Stupid future-me. Stupid Twilight. Stupid time travelling. All she did was screw with me.

The train ride was uneventful, and even though I would usually be reading a book, the only thing I had was Star Swirl’s Addendum, which I didn’t feel like reading. And her letter, which I felt like reading less. Instead, I just watched the scenery go past, the train heading back to Ponyville at a sedate pace that felt like a snail up a wall. All I wanted to do was sink into my bed and just forget everything that happened.

Knowing her, she’d probably be freeloading at my house, having no place to go. Or maybe she cast herself back. Maybe. I found myself wondering if she had a place to stay. She hadn’t met my friends, but surely they’d be mutual, with them being me, right? Wait, why was I worrying about her after the way she treated me? She was a massive pain and that’s all there was to it. Surely my friends would agree.

———————

Rarity and Rainbow shared a glance.

“Uhh…” Rainbow trailed off.

“Hmm, yes, that’s quite…” Rarity trailed off as well.

I stared at them both. There was a lot to take in, granted, but it wasn’t that confusing, was it? It was myself going back in time to prank the princesses which was actually me, which was actually a present for them, which I got the credit for, which wasn’t the intended effect, which doesn’t count because she tricked me, because she was a mean, pain in the flank!

“Umm, go back to the first part,” Rainbow said, her face set in a confused frown. “What did she do wrong again?”

“She tricked me!” Technically you tricked yourself.

“She ate your chocolates, darling,” Rarity said.

“She let me fall!” She was going to catch me.

“She was gonna catch you, right?” Rainbow said. “But I mean she probably should have told you earlier… and she sounds kind of I dunno, weird?” She looked at me. “No offence, Twi’.”

I wasn’t in the mood to explain time travelling mechanics with Rainbow. First off, I wanted to make sure they understood what was going on. “She ate my chocolates and tried to prank the Princesses!”

“While her methods lacked a certain sense of… propriety, she did leave you the best ones and the prank turned out harmless in the end,” Rarity pointed out.

“She was mean and spiteful!”

“She’s just got a weird sense of humour. I mean sometimes you make mistakes too, maybe she’s just a bit awkward or it’s the first time,” Rainbow said slowly. “I mean I wouldn’t do it that way, sometimes you gotta have other friends to tell you to rein it in a little, you know, if you start going too far? It could have gone better.”

“Better? Better?! She’s crazy!”

Rarity shared another look with Rainbow.

“I’m sure, dear.” She patted me on the shoulder. “Maybe you should see what she left you in that letter?”

“I don’t want to read it,” I said stubbornly.

Rarity sighed. “I think you should, I mean she did go to all the trouble of leaving you the letter after all.”

“What? Are you taking her side?!”

Rarity reddened, but didn’t say anything, electing to press her lips together tightly.

“Hey,” Rainbow warned. “We’re not the bad guys here.”

“I thought you guys were on my side!”

“It’s not about sides,” Rarity said gently before Rainbow could interject. “Though if you’d like to know, there aren’t any sides. Both of you are Twilight, and Twilight is our friend.”

“I don’t believe it,” I said angrily. “I thought I could trust you two. Why can’t you see—”

“Hey, Twilight,” Rainbow interrupted with her arms crossed. “She’s done some pretty mean things, and you’re angry, yeah I get it, but right now you’re actually being kind of a jerk. We’re just trying to help you out.”

“I-I’m not! Why are you—” I flickered to Rarity, then back to Rainbow. They both looked at me critically, like I was the one at fault. I wasn’t! It was her, why couldn’t they see that? “I thought—”

The words caught in my throat. I abruptly stood, no longer able to be there.

“Just… just forget about it!”

“Hey wait—” Rainbow called out, but I dashed out the door and slammed it shut. 

I galloped as fast as I could, making my way back to the library. I ignored all the curious looks everypony was giving me and yanked the front door open, flinging it shut as I stomped to the centre of the library.

“Hey!” An irritated voice called out.

My eyes shot up, but it was only Spike.

“Oh it’s… you alright, Twi’? Where have you been all night?”

I didn’t say anything, my eyes couldn’t meet his.

“Around, Spike,” I said evasively. “Do you mind taking care of the library? I… I need to be alone for a while.”

Spike was immediately at my side.

“What’s wrong?”

Despite my best efforts, tears welled up in the corners of my eyes.

“Everything!” I cried out unable to suppress a choked sob.

I felt his tiny arms loop around my neck.

“It’s alright, Twi’, just take a deep breath. It’s okay.”

I took a shuddering breath, feeling more lonely and pathetic than I ever had. Spike was a rock in the storm of my emotions and everything just overflowed all at once.

“I’m a terrible pony, Spike.”

“That’s not true, Twi’,” he said in a soothing voice. “You’re one of the best ponies I know.”

“I don’t know about that, Spike, I’ve made a terrible mistake.”

“We all make mistakes.”

“I don’t think I can fix this one.”

“Sure you can,” Spike replied. “Just do what you do best.”

I drew back, wiping my eyes with the back of my fore leg. “What?”

“Think about it,” Spike said with a confident smile. “Work it out with that big brain of yours.”

Work it out? But how could I, everything was in shambles.

“But…” I glanced at my saddlebags that lay on the table.

I drew away from Spike as he grinned at my expression. “If I know you, that’s the ‘I have an idea’ face.”

I didn’t answer as I made my way to the table, already I was lost in my thoughts. There was the letter and the book. Time travel. The past is possible for sure… but what about the future? What did Twilight say? There was time-symmetry? Surely not.

“Spike?”

“Yes?”

“Can you fetch my friends?” I looked at him, feeling a little uncomfortable. “And can you tell Rarity and Rainbow that I want to apologise?”

Spike raised an eyebrow, but thankfully, didn’t comment on that.

“Sure thing, Twi’,” he said slowly. “But uhh… don’t try anything dangerous.”

“Yep,” I said with a small smile. “No problem.”

——————

As Spike left, I tore open the letter and read it. There were several extra pages that weren’t part of the original set. Confused, I held them out as I read.

I looked at the first page:

Dear me,

You looked.

Hope you thought it was worth it.

- Princess Twilight Sparkle

I slammed the page down onto the table. Typical, couldn’t send me a message without it being a joke. I glanced at the other pages, but I was reluctant to toss them away, though tempting it was, because they were laden with writing, unlike the first page.

Reluctantly, I picked it up and took a wary look at its contents.

Heya past-me,

If you’re reading this, then, well, you must be dying to know why I’m here. I don’t know at what point you’re reading this, but it’s probably after I’ve claimed to be from the future, right? That’s not really a lie, but it’s not really the truth, either. You should ask me about Star Swirl’s Addendum. It’s a fascinating book. The method inside of that book isn’t really time travel, it’s something called ‘sandboxing’. Sandboxing is when you take a bit of your universe and create a universe inside it, like a micro-universe. I like to call it a ‘microverse’. 

You might not believe me, but the universe you’re living in right now is a microverse created by me. Hah, I can see you shaking your head. It’s true. Let me explain. But first, why do this? Star Swirl needed a place to simulate his many, many spells so what better place to do it than in his own microverse? For me, it was a little bit more complex than that.

I had to stop there, I was having trouble processing all of this. Wait, so she wasn’t a time traveler? What the heck was she?

In the beginning, I did the same things that Star Swirl did, played around a bit, made a few novel spells (ask me about walking on air) and explore a bit. It’s amazing what you can achieve in these little bubbles. Then a thought occurred to me. What happens if I ‘saved’ a state of the current universe and ‘copied’ it into a microverse, what would that be like?

The thought excited me, challenged me, it pushed me to begin experimentation in a new and exciting way. I know what you’re thinking. That’s wrong, Twilight, you shouldn’t do that. And you’re right. I shouldn’t have, but before my friends could reach me, I’d already breached the domain. I didn’t even consider the ethics of my experimentation.

I took the experiment to the Princesses. They were appalled, but also fascinated. They saw a miniature universe playing out in our own, like a snow globe on the mantlepiece. Celestia suggested I keep it, that it wouldn’t be wise to destroy the universe now that it had inhabitants. She warned me in no uncertain terms to never make another again. She made me promise, and I kept it, hadn’t I? Inwardly, I was relieved. I didn’t expect her to order its destruction, but a doubt lingered in my mind. So there you were, frozen in time, kept in a little crystal sphere on my desk over the years.

Time marched on, ages flew by, and ponies came and went.

I began to get wrapped up in governing my little ponies, to do my duty and not care for the things that made life, life. I guess… I missed the old days. When friends were around, when ponies that knew you from the start were there. That was fine, at least in the beginning.

Then I began to realise that nothing lasted forever. 

Ponies don’t go very far, Twilight. At some point, at some time they just stop. But for me? I keep going. On and on and on. I’m so tired, Twilight. I’m so weary. The days blend into years and the years into centuries. Centuries, Twilight, can you even conceive of the time frame?

So I decided to continue this experiment. Like a do-over, a repeat. Something to take my mind off. At first I just looked. It was like seeing my own memories for a second time. Then I did a few things, small innocuous changes, like the weather around the Everfree, maybe change the biology of the plants a bit. 

I modified the spell, and ‘saved’ the state of your universe. I could try again. And again. And again. What fascinated me was that things always turned out different, never the same. Never the same way. It was an endless source of novelty and nostalgia, all rolled up into one! 

I went from observing to interfering and finally interacting. It was exulting, addictive, a universe without consequences, or so I thought. Little by little I felt I was losing myself. I got along with my ‘friends’ in your world and you less and less, no matter what I tried I was a few hoof steps off, I was a couple of beats behind the tune. I didn’t belong.

My obsession with the universe withdrew me from the world, and for a time, I was lost. Maybe I was lost before that, but everypony here makes me remember. It makes me remember what it means to do the right thing. Why I did them in the first place. Especially you. Who better to tell me when I’ve done something wrong than myself? Like my friends did back in the day, you tell me when I’ve gone too far. It’s been so long since somepony had stood up to me, it felt shocking, real.

Up until recently, everything felt scripted, as if this story was written roughly from my memory. I would have liked us to get along again, to be more like my old self. But time moves on, even in this small universe, and I have neglected my duties for long enough. At this point I would like to say that this is the final experiment. Despite the changes, despite the excitement, I’m… tired. I have to go back. 

I want to leave a few things for you. In the drawer there’s a new box of Minotaurian chocolate (I didn’t actually eat your own one, it’s still in the hidey-hole), second there’s a gift for every one of your friends. I guess they’re mine too, so you can just say it’s from yourself. If you’re reading this super-early, well, thanks, you probably took Pinkie’s advice and I wouldn’t have gotten the gifts in time. They’re in your wardrobe, if not.

Until then I think this is goodbye.

It was nice knowing myself,

Princess Twilight Sparkle

Slowly I folded the letter back up and placed it in the saddlebag, then withdrew the book. The revelations shook me, reality never felt so surreal, but I refused to let her have the final say in the matter. She left, with just this letter to explain everything? That’s not fair! She’s not going to get away that easily. I’m going to face her, and she can’t escape back to another universe or time or whatever to avoid me!

I went to the kitchen and started packing supplies. Experimental spells were always dangerous. Who knew what might happen? I caught my reflection in the small window above the sink. It stared back at me, mimicking the same disappointment Twilight had when I told her to leave. She hadn’t been all that bad, I realised. I had just been childish because I’d been pranked on. She might have been at fault, but I guess I could have handled that better. Maybe.

Minutes later, I had dumped a bunch of equipment and matching saddlebags that I could find stored for Winter Wrap Up. Who knew where the book would take us? Who knew if that was even possible? Maybe, like Twilight said, reality may not be able to handle it and I would inadvertently destroy life as I knew it.

The book came from the future. Sort of. The book said that it used things from its reality to form an anchor to pull it back. The longer you stay, the more important the anchor was. If Twilight hadn’t left something like the book to take us there, it’d be nigh-impossible. But she did, complete with the instructions. 

I smiled, I could always trust myself to be prepared, even if it was on accident.

——————

A knock on the door interrupted me, just as I was finishing a chalked line. Some reading had to be done, some volumes cross-referenced, but I got a lot done in such a short time span. My friends must have been scattered all over the place because it had been nearly two hours since I’d sent Spike.

“Coming!” I hastily scribed a few symbols, then stood back. Perfect. I hesitated. As perfect as anything as experimental as this could be. Well, not to worry, I should take a page out of Twilight’s book and be more spontaneous. Shaking my head, I trotted to my door and flung it wide open, greeted in surprise by my gathered friends.

My triumphant smile died as I recalled exactly why I had asked for Rarity and Rainbow to come along.

“Sorry,” I immediately blurted to them both.

They stood back a bit, eyeing me warily. I guess I must have sounded crazy, just blabbering an apology just like that. Oh sweet Celestia, I was so bad at this.

“Uhh…” Rainbow looked like she didn’t know what to say.

“Come in!” I interrupted hastily, trying to get over my blunder as quickly as I could. If I was going to apologise to them, it should be properly when I’ve explained everything.

Inside, my friends were gawking at my preparations, no doubt at the drawing that clung to the library’s floor like a spider’s web. In the centre was the book and seven circles that ringed the outside of the central circumference.

“Uhh, Twilight? What’s that you’ve got there?” Applejack muttered glancing sidelong at the spell forms suspiciously.

Pinkie cocked her head at them. “I don’t know what they are, but they look kinda pretty!”

“Sorry girls, I’ll explain in a moment. I… have something to say to Rarity and Rainbow.” I flushed with how awkward that had sounded.

Rainbow and Rarity glanced each other, but neither said anything, Rainbow even alighted on the floor rather than hover as she normally did.

I straightened, then cleared my throat. “Uhm, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I was wrong, and I couldn’t get past my pride to see that you both had my best interests at heart. What I wanted was comfort, but what I needed was the truth.”

Rainbow put her hoof to the back of her head, as if suddenly embarrassed to be in the spotlight. “Uhh, yeah, thanks Twi’, just uhh… next time can you do it like… not in front of everypony?”

Rarity cleared her throat. “Yes, well, we all have our ups and downs. Sometimes a girl needs to vent.” She paused with a raised eyebrow. “Though preferably not at her friends.”

I winced. Yeah, okay, I deserved that.

Fluttershy was, shockingly, the one to break the silence. “Uhm, I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m glad you worked it all out.”

I shared a small, relieved smile with my friends.

“So uhhh… are you going to tell us what this here magic-thing is?” Applejack put in. She squinted at the complex writing on the floor as if there were a pile of writhing snakes rather than just chalk.

I twitched. Yes, of course, the spell.

“It’s complicated, but I guess I have to begin, well, at the beginning…”


> 7 - Final Solution
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


	Chapter 7: Final Solution


	Sometimes, you just have to do it yourself.


When I laid it all out there, their responses were pretty much as expected.

“So let me get this straight,” Applejack said slowly. “You… uhh… the other Twilight, made a universe in her universe and we’re in that universe, is that right?”

“Yep.”

“And she kinda froze our universe or something to keep us in the past?”

I nodded.

“And suddenly it’s all up and running again?”

I nodded again.

“Why is she keeping it going, then?”

“Maybe she thought it would be fun?” Pinkie put in.

Rarity shook her head. “She doesn’t sound like it in the letter, if anything she seems—” she gave me a sidelong glance “—depressed?”

The letter was a bit of a downer that’s for sure. I took a deep breath. “She still needs a lot of explaining to do, some of this letter has some really questionable content.”

“Yeah,” Rainbow said. She looked up at the ceiling. “It’s just creepy thinking there’s somepony watching us right now.”

Fluttershy eyed the ceiling in the same way. “You don’t think…?”

I shook my head. “No, no, I mean if she wanted to, she conceivably could, but she wouldn’t be looking down, probably from the side or something.”

“The side?”

“Yeah, you know, like a play, so you can see all the actors.”

Fluttershy looked even less comforted by my explanation. She hunched her shoulders and glanced around even more, her tail tucking in between her legs in anxious timidity.

Pinkie glanced around. “Does she know about the, uhm… thing?” she trailed off.

I frowned at her. “What thing?”

“Nothing!” she said quickly. Too quickly. “So are we coming with ya, Twilight?”

Her abrupt change in topic left me suspicious, but after letting Pinkie sweat it out for a few seconds, I decided to just let it go. She moved back to rejoin the loose pack of my friends that were of varying degrees of uncertain about my spell casting. I mean, this was pretty advanced stuff, so that’s why it necessitated the use of the diagrams to help me visualise what I was going to do, but other than that, it was basically the same spell.

“Yes,” I replied. “That’s why I asked you all here personally, so that I could give you a chance to back out. It’s a risky spell and there’s some things that I’m not sure about.”

“For example?” Rarity asked.

“Uhh, things like ending up somewhere else than we expect. Like Griffonstone, or somewhere in the middle of the Badlands.” I took in their nervous glances. “Don’t worry! There’s a minute chance that will happen, what’s more likely—” I stopped myself.

“What’s more likely?” Rainbow pressed, her arms folded as her eyebrows lowered like heavy thunderclouds gathering on the horizon.

“We might dissolve into fine particles and scattered across space and time,” I admitted reluctantly. “That’s also quite unlikely, but not impossible!” I cleared my throat. “That’s why I wanted to give you girls a chance to make up your minds.” I looked down at my hooves. “This whole thing was mainly between me and myself, but I thought… I thought it’d be good to have some friends along. Besides, it could be dangerous out there, and I wanted ponies that I could trust, and all I could think of were my best of friends.”

At that, they all smiled.

“Aw shucks, Twilight. When you put it like that it doesn’t leave us much of a choice,” Applejack said with a hearty chuckle. “It’s alright, I can’t speak for all of us, but I’ll come with you.”

“Me too!” Pinkie said. “Sounds like fun!”

“I’m in,” said Rainbow. “I kind of want to see future you.”

“I’m not sure…” Fluttershy said quietly, “but I trust you, Twilight.”

They all turned to look at Rarity. “Just because I’m last, does not mean I’m the least willing, a lady waits her turn.” She turned to Twilight. “I would be happy to accompany you as well.”

“That settles it,” I said with no small amount of relief. “We’re all going.”

“What about me?” Spike piped up.

“Of course!” I exclaimed, beckoning him over. “I thought that went without saying.”

Spike grinned at me and joined the others as they approached the circle.

“Each one of these circles are for each one of you. I don’t know what kind of universe future-Me runs, but I intend to find out. I’ll have to send you one by one, with the book coming with us last. There’s a possibility that the link between here and there is too weak to hold us together, but I can guarantee that we’ll all land in Equestria.”

“Uhhh… Equestria?” Rainbow said. “That’s kinda a big net.”

I nodded uneasily. “Sorry, that’s the best I could do,” I confessed reluctantly. “This spell is very complicated and I’m not even sure if it works.”

“You haven’t tested it?” Rarity said in surprise. “My dear, how do you know if it will—”

“I only had two hours,” I said defensively. I lowered my voice as I realised how obtuse that had sounded. “I mean, I did try it on a few things, like some books and an orange, but without being on the other end, I wouldn’t know if it will work.”

I shifted my hooves apprehensively. “It’s not an exact science, and the book is quite old. Twilight has left notes and written extracts, that’s helped. So it’s like reading work I’ve already done, it’s made it easier. What I’ve found out though, is that the spell isn’t picky where it leaves you. There aren’t any safeguards, and I don’t have time to figure it out.”

“Why’re you in such a rush?” Applejack said. “Shouldn’t you take the time to figure all them things out?”

I shook my head in response. “No, no, Twilight, the other me, has somehow been able to keep this microverse in a frozen state. We wouldn’t know about it of course, but at any moment we could be frozen. By the time we are restarted, well, who knows when that will be in the host universe?”

Applejack’s eyebrows drew together. “That seems like a stretch…”

“But it could be right,” Rarity said. “This other Twilight told us in the letter. This could happen.”

“Can we like stop talking and go now?” Rainbow huffed. “I don’t get what you girls are talking about. I want to go already.”

I turned around to look at Rainbow in surprise. “I can understand why you wouldn’t want to go, but now you do?”

Rainbow grinned and thrust her arms out. “Are you kidding me? A whole new group of ponies that haven’t seen my tricks? They’re really missing out.”

I blinked at her. “What?”

“I mean think about it, Twilight, if I perform here, ponies will see me from time to time, it loses the ‘wow’ factor. Gotta keep them keen by performing to new crowds, Twi’.”

“Uhuh.” I didn’t get it.

“Eh, you’ll get it when you’ve been performing as long as I have, it’s always good to have fans. New ones especially.”

I nodded, but didn’t think I’d ever get used to fame, no matter how ‘famous’ I got. Besides, being a princess isn’t the same as being famous, is it?

“Anyway—” Rainbow danced on her hooves “—let’s go.”

“Alright,” I finally agreed. I glanced around, trying to gauge each pony’s reaction. Fluttershy was nervous, Applejack was concerned, Rarity was calm, Pinkie was excited and Rainbow looked antsy, but determined. Oh bother, I almost forgot. “Wait,” I said suddenly. “Inside the kitchen is a saddlebag for each of you, just pick one up, it should have the basics you need. I packed some extras in case they come in handy.”

“You did all of this in two hours?” Rarity said, rearing her head in shock.

“Trust Twilight to be organised.” Rainbow chuckled as she retrieved her own saddlebag. She hefted it, looking like she had trouble with the weight. “Oof, gees Twilight, what’d you put in here, books?”

I pouted. “Hey, I’m not that crazy about books. I packed the essentials. Map, compass, star charts, food, water, survival guides, paper, quills, ink—”

“Woah, woah, woah!” Rainbow said, rifling through the bag. She started pulling out the vital supplies I had packed. “When will I need a survival guide or star charts? It’s still Equestria, this will just drag me down when I’m flying.”

“Well conceivably you could—”

“—Get lost?” Rainbow finished for me. She rolled her eyes. “No way, from up high you can always make your way back.”

That was exactly what I thought, but I didn’t want to admit it. “All the same…” I trailed off as Rainbow pursed her lips. I waved my hooves before she could argue. “Okay, okay, you can take what you want.” The others took it as an invitation to dismantle their own packs as I rolled my eyes and muttered things about being prepared. It always pays to be prepared.

“It is almost like you’ve had weeks to do all this,” Rarity commented wryly.

“It’s quite thorough,” Fluttershy added, holding out a whistle. She peered at it. “But what’s some of these for, if you don’t mind me asking?” 

“For maybe calling out to each other?” I posited. “Actually, it came more in handy in Winter Wrap Up when we needed to do some coordination of large groups. Okay, some things might not be a hundred percent necessary but they could be useful!

“Yeah, Twilight, I don’t think we need a whistle, unless we end up in the middle of a hoofball game,” Applejack put in with a laugh. “But your heart was in the right place. Right, everypony?”

“Indeed,” Rarity said.

“Yeah, what she said,” Rainbow said.

“It’s quite nice of you,” Fluttershy added.

“Where do I put my cakes?” Pinkie Pie muttered.

I shrugged, my cheeks flushing with the compliment. “Thanks.” When they finished making the alterations and took their places back at the circle, I swept around again. “I guess we should get going…” I waited once more for any objections. When none were forthcoming, I shoved aside a trickle of apprehension and I closed my eyes. Despite my assurances, the spell was immensely complex, and disturbances could result in the worst possible outcome. We could end up somewhere different, wink out of existence, any number of things that—

I stopped myself before I got out of hoof. Time to begin the spell.

In my mind’s eye the spell was tracing its way through the chalk lines I had drawn. The spell sunk into the lines, cementing its structure to the abstract representations on the floor. I took a deep breath, timing my natural breathing rate to the spell, a sedately counterpart to my wildly beating heart.

Breath in, breath out. In and out.

My heart slowed down, forced by my concentrated breaths and meditative state to ease up.

Glowing lines rose out of the circles slowly to rapidly intertwine with my hooves. I felt an electric tingle and at the same time I heard gasps from my friends. I ignored them, squeezing my eyes tighter with the effort of propagating the spell. This was the critical point, I had to time it right…

Then all was still. All was silent. In an immeasurably large instant or a small eternity, I synchronised with the universe. It felt like I was a part of everything, euphoric, understanding it all finding the totality of everything staggering, bounded and yet limitless.

Then my senses returned, and with it came the rush of sound, light and touch in a roaring, confusing mass.

“Twilight? Twilight!”

I shook my head, everything suddenly snapping back into focus.

“Ah bw’ah?”

“Twilight?” It was Applejack.

“How long was I out?” I murmured, blinking away the grainy edges of my befuddlement.

“Less than ten seconds,” Applejack replied in concern. “You were breathing really hard and then suddenly you stopped. Fair gave us all a heart attack.”

“Yes, darling, that was certainly something I wasn’t expecting,” Rarity said, miffed.

The others nodded silently, even Pinkie, who stared at me silently in worry.

“Sorry girls, I just saw… something beautiful.”

“Beautiful?” Rarity asked curiously.

“Uhh… what?” Applejack said.

“I don’t know how to explain it,” I admitted. “It was like I suddenly had a moment of clarity and suddenly, I knew the ‘why’ and ‘how’, then suddenly, it was gone.”

“That’s… mighty strange.” Applejack took shifted her hat uncomfortably. “Are you sure you’re okay, Twilight?”

“I’m fine…” The rest of my sentence drifted away as I took in my surroundings. “Dear Celestia…”

“She finally noticed,” Rainbow said with a laugh. But I wasn’t paying attention, I didn’t even glance in her direction.

I wasn’t seeing the library anymore, but a different reality.

Darkness surrounded all of us, but we were inside a cage of silvery light. Around us, shimmering pulses of light strobed at irregular intervals, bathing the void with bright pinpricks of luminosity. 

“I must say, this is quite an elegant way to travel, I thought…”

“That we’d kinda just get sucked in and out?” Rainbow offered.

“Maybe, like, two portals would open up and we would just step through?” Pinkie put in.

“Uhm, I was thinking like a kind of shift and we would be there,” Fluttershy added.

“Hay, I thought we’d just kind of go to sleep and wake up on the other side,” Applejack said.

“No, no,” I said absently, “time and space doesn’t work that way. I have to bend it around us to extreme lengths and also traverse the outer rim of dimensions and wrap ourselves back around to be the right size. It’s basically like a space contraction, shift and expansion all in one.”

They all blinked at me.

“Uhhh…”

“Yeah Twi’, what are you talking about?”

“I’m confused.”

I heaved a sigh. “In simpler terms, what’s around us is a pretty light display based upon the expenditure of magic as we cross dimensions.”

Rarity’s eyes widened. “I’m no expert, but where are you getting all that energy?”

I shifted my hooves. “I actually don’t know. The book doesn’t go into detail about where the energy comes from, but from the looks of things, the power requirements are low, despite its complexity. It’s as baffling to me as it is to you.” I glanced at the book that was softly glowing in the centre. “Anyway, you can all move around, just don’t touch the book and we should be fine. Maybe you should get some rest, I don’t know how long this transfer is going to take.”

Rarity lay down on the glowing mesh of the floor, and we all followed suit.

 I finally let myself relax, checking my saddlebags for all my tools and provisions. Mine was full, unlike the others, and had a few personal things, including some of the gifts that Twilight had left behind. The chocolates, which I shared with my friends. Some presents to our respective friends. Rarity got a bedazzling brooch, Applejack got a few seeds which she got really excited about when the letter explained they were ‘Golden Apple’ seeds, Pinkie got a small satchel that apparently fits in anything, she said something about her old one wearing out, Fluttershy got various packets of herbs that got her excited, even though I didn’t recognise them, and Rainbow got a long red ribbon that made her all flustered for some reason. She cheered up when she got a retro-looking Wonderbolt pin.

As I sat there, seeing all my friends chatting excitedly about their presents and what they received, I suddenly had a thought. I didn’t know if our journey was going to end in success or disaster, but for once, in a long time, I was looking forward to what the future might bring.


> 8 - True Epilogue: Experiment Extant
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	
Epilogue: Experiment Extant


It is only when you have the courage to face yourself that you will finally be yourself.


In the quiet silence of the Great Crystal Castle of Friendship, Twilight sat on her throne and sent the last of the petitioners away with a sigh.

When the doors closed with a gentle clang, Twilight took the opportunity to look outside. The skies were filled with the wonders of modern technology. It seemed like everyday something was made anew, something was crafted, or solved, or reinvented. Her ponies had an innovative optimism about them that had swept through the populace. She had smiled, waved, contributed even, but her heart was not in it.

She trudged her way back to her room, a simple room that housed a small observatory from which she could gaze at the sky and lose herself in her thoughts. Tonight, she was not in the mood to stargaze, read reports or be productive. She just wanted to sleep. She just wanted to fade away, perhaps to dream?

She eased open the door and stumbled inside, kicking off her hoof covers with a faint clang. She shrugged off her heavy regalia that she despised and threw it on her desk with an disinterested clatter. Twilight stretched out her wings, and checked them, as she did everyday, for tiny flaws or ragged feathers. After identifying a few and plucking them out, like Rainbow had told her a long time ago, Twilight turned to her bed.

Then she paused.

Something was wrong.

She turned back. The crystal was still glowing. That meant the microverse was still running. With a sigh, Twilight considered the crystal, weighing whether she should terminate the experiment or freeze it. She tried to imagine what Celestia would have said. She tried to draw up her friends from the edges of her mind. Her true friends. Friends from this universe. But they slipped away. She only had memories of what was recent. Visiting the microverse had contaminated her memories of her real friends.

The idea was laughable. All she wanted to do was re-experience time from the past, but she ended up corrupting her own links. Her most precious memories, things that couldn’t be regained. She didn’t have a save state for that, she couldn’t go back to her own past. As time wore on, it became very clear that her memory, like everything else didn’t last forever. Except her. And she was tired.

But there was a feeling of freedom, like letting go and moving forward, even if it did mean cutting herself away from the binds of nostalgia she had wrapped herself up in. It was necessary, and they had made it very clear that she did not belong. Maybe, subconsciously, she knew it and she was only deluding herself? Perhaps...

With a grim smile, Twilight bid farewell to her experiment.

The experiment need no longer be extant, she noted in her diary. Experiment terminated.

Her horn glowed, charged with purpose.

Then a flash lit her room.

And all was silent.

————————

I came out first, alone. My friends would arrive soon, I was sure. What I didn’t expect was where I was. The floor seemed to be made of crystal. It seemed clear at first, but because it extended so far, the crystal took on a bluish hue that was somewhat disconcerting to stare at for a long period of time. I felt like I could get lost in the depths.
        
Then I heard a squawk, a scramble and a yelp that sounded familiar.

Across the room, full of weird astronomical star-gazing paraphernalia was Twilight. Future-Twilight. Twilight-of-this-universe-Twilight. Her eyes were wide, the whites showing as she pressed flat against the wall.

“W-What are you doing here?!” she squeaked. “H-How?”

I was about to reply when another flash lit the room and something hit me in the head. Something orange. I wobbled a bit, and shook my head as I heard a mumble.

“Ow! Gees, Twi’, can you make our landing a little softer? Where the hay is everypony else?”

Future-Twilight stared at Applejack like she was a ghost risen from the dead. “Applejack? No, you’re not her. Just a saved state, not real, not real.”

What was she mumbling about?

“Hey can you—”

Another flash lit the room, Fluttershy tumbled out, thankfully missing everypony, but colliding with Future-Twilight instead.

“Oof! Eep! Oh! I’m so sorry! Are you alright? Uhm, Twilight? No wait…”

“I’m fine, Fluttershy,” she said and eased herself away from her. “You how can you— I don’t—”

She didn’t have time to say more as Rarity and Rainbow tumbled out together in quick succession. By that time, we had wised up and dodged them, but Rainbow took a full face of a bookshelf, while Rarity got lucky and hit the mattress instead.

“Ow!” Some books tumbled down and hit Rainbow as well. “A bookshelf?! Why does Rarity get the bed?”

“Oof! That was simply—why these sheets are delightfully tasteful.”

Applejack glanced their way and chuckled in amusement.

“Not funny, AJ!”

“It sure is sugarcube, I was wondering where you’d land, but luck ain’t by your side at the moment.”

Future-Twilight reared up on her hooves. “Would somepony please tell me—”

Another flash, this time Pinkie came tumbling out, after performing an impressive somersault and a flip. “Weee! Oh, can we do that again?”

“Not now, Pinkie,” I said. There was something else, I was forgetting something, but what was it? “Uhh, is that everypony?”

Twilight looked like she was about to blow. “You brought everypony here? Why? How?”

“To talk to you, of course,” I said. “You left without even explaining everything.”

Twilight shifted her hooves. “I did, in the letter.”

“You think that’s good enough?” I shot back.

Twilight’s gaze swept around the room, as if she were suddenly concerned with what she should say. For some reason, my friends being here was putting a damper on her usual confidence. She looked lost for the first time I’ve met her.

“It’s complicated,” she finally replied.

I wasn’t having any of that. “Oh please, spare me that. I got everything.”

“You shouldn’t be here, you can’t be here, how could you even be here?”

Before I could say anything, a final flash lit the room. Wait, that was—

I ducked, and none too soon.

“Wha—” Twilight began, before getting a face-full of Star Swirl’s Addendum. The book itself, though it claimed to be an addendum, was about eight hundred pages long. It was a pretty thick book, so I didn’t envy Twilight getting hit in the face with it. Now, as a bonus, Twilight wasn’t really in my future, so I wouldn’t have to worry about a book being smashed into my face. So seeing this in action actually brought me a small amount of unexpected pleasure.

Serves her right. Then I withdrew the thought. Horrible as she may have been, taking pleasure in seeing another pony in pain wasn’t really the path I wanted to take. Especially if it lead to her. With us all gathered here and Twilight groaning on the ground, I decided to start the conversation.

“So I think that’s everypony,” I said. “We’ve come to you, since you didn’t want to come to us.”

Twilight picked herself up slowly, all the while staring at Star Swirl’s Addendum. Something finally clicked for her and she lost a bit of her panicked attitude, though her stance didn’t relax from being guarded. “You’re here,” she replied, “but the book never contained anything about traversing back.”

“Yes it did,” I said, “there was a passage about anchors. That’s how you got back, I just followed it, that’s all. It didn’t require too many modifications, even though the rework was slightly experimental.”

Twilight eyed us warily, like we were a nest of snakes she had discovered in her room.

“You aren’t supposed to be here,” she repeated.

I could feel my cheeks twitch. We are here. Deal with it.

I took a deep breath. “That doesn’t excuse you,” I said. I looked around. “Where is it?”

Twilight looked surprised at the abrupt change in subject. “Where’s what?”

“Don’t play dumb with us, where’s the microverse?” I pressed, stalking forward.

Twilight straightened, her back was to the wall, but she didn’t balk. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She must have been as poor a liar as I was, because her eyes flickered down before snapping back up to me.

I turned around, searching the floor and found the softly glowing crystal. I picked it up carefully, examining the smooth surface and the intricate structure beneath it. How could such a small thing contain a whole universe? I knew the theory of course, you could encapsulate it with higher dimensions, expand space as you saw fit and then you had an infinite playground to mess around with, but holding it in my hooves just felt surreal.

Everything I knew and loved, minus us, the travellers, were contained in this small sphere. I gripped the ball with my hooves, then passed it to Applejack, who held it firmly to her chest, giving me a look that showed she understood the significance.

I sighed, then turned back to Twilight. “I want to know your reasons,” I said. “Not just on paper, but your real, true reasons.”

Twilight stared back, but didn’t say anything. She neither looked angry, sad, nor defiant. She just looked… tired. I bit my lip, and turned back to my friends. Fluttershy was also biting her lips in consternation, Rarity had gotten off the bed and just stared at Twilight with a mixture of pity and sadness, Rainbow was simply stoic and Pinkie just shrugged, gesturing for me to do something. Applejack was preoccupied with the crystal, her eyes wandering the surface before they met mine.

“It’s… a lot,” she whispered, pointing at the crystal. She lifted it up as she offered it back to me. “I-I think you should take it back, Twi’.”

Confused by her tone, I took back the crystal and peered into the depths like Applejack had. Around the swirling surface, misty lines and whorls of energy danced across in mesmerising patterns. All of a sudden I had a swooping sensation, like I was drawn into the depths, it pulled me in, and I felt like I was falling through the vastness of space. Then suddenly, green and blue filled my vision, and I saw the detailed landscape of Equestria.

With an effort, I tore my eyes away and blinked at the sudden collapse of my perception. I glanced back at Applejack who nodded at me. Wow… that was…

“Huge,” I mumbled, disconcerted. “I could see Equestria, but suddenly I had a sense of everything, like before when we began to travel.”

Future-Twilight peeled herself off the wall. “All of you shouldn’t be here. I can’t let myself sink back into my own indulgences. You must leave, go back.”

“Why?” I shot back. “We’re not simply indulgences! We’re thinking, living beings!”

“You’re a saved state. A saved state isn’t—”

“Alive?” I snarled.

“Hang on, hold on Twi’,” Spike said, waddling forward.

“Wait, when did you arrive?” I blurted. Oops, I forgot about Spike.

Spike bore a wounded expression. “I came out the same time with you. You didn’t notice?”

I shook my head mutely.

He sighed. “Probably because I was the only one that wasn’t catapulted out of your weird spell.”

“Hey,” I grumbled. “That spell did pretty well for something that I didn’t test.”

“Well done,” Twilight interrupted with a heavy dose of sarcasm. Now that her initial shock wore off, she seemed to regain a bit of her authoritative aura. “Now you must go back.”

“No,” Rainbow said, taking her attention off me. “We’re here until you’ve sorted out your thing with Twilight.”

She shot a glance at Rainbow, then turned back to me, as if I were the only pony in the room.

“Go,” she said.

“Hey,” Rainbow growled angrily. “Don’t ignore me!”

“Sure as hay, that ain’t nice of you to ignore your friends,” Applejack pointed out.

Twilight turned to them. “That’s not fair,” she said. “You can’t do that to me.” She muttered something I couldn’t quite catch.

“Do what, dear?” Rarity asked gently.

Twilight backed away, edging to the door. “You’re all— I can’t—” She tried to open the door, but I was ready and slammed it back shut. Twilight whipped around. “Stop that! I don’t want to have a discussion with my friends. They don’t matter. They can’t matter. They’re not real!”

“What’s not real?” I snapped. “We’re real, how can you say otherwise?!”

“Because my friends are dead! Everypony is dead! Everypony I love is dead. Only I’m alive. It’s just painful keeping up the façade in that little experiment. It was fun at first, but they just remind me that they’re not here. It’s maddening. It’s madness! It’s terrifying me.”

“What?” I couldn't make sense of her rambling.

“Just let me go,” she croaked, tears spilling out. “I can’t face them again. Not after what I’ve done, not after what I would have done.”

I felt a trickle of unpleasant dread work its way down my spine. Twilight shot a quick look at her desk. She tried to hide it, but she was too late. I made my way towards it…

Twilight appeared in front of me, blocking my way. She had teleported from her spot by the doorway.

“Move,” I said.

“No,” she whispered. “There are things that are best left unknown.”

“Not this time,” I said, then teleported myself in front of her.

At such a short range, teleportation was a risk, but I was willing to roll the dice. I glanced at the desk where a book lay open, with dated entries. It disappeared before I could focus on it more, but I caught enough to send tingling numbness coursing through my nerves.

“Experiment terminated?” I said in a low voice.

Fluttershy gasped. Applejack glanced at me in surprise, then narrowed her eyes at Twilight. Rainbow looked at Twilight accusingly, and looked ready to launch herself across the room. Rarity had a disgusted look on her face, while Pinkie stared at the floor, her face hidden.

“It’s not what you think,” she whispered in the murderous silence.

“Tell me, then,” I said, eyes drilling into her own, “what I’m supposed to think?”

Twilight shied away from my glance, but didn’t move from her spot. Again, she simply looked like the weight of the world rested upon she shoulders. In a way, it did.

“I was going to freeze your microverse and bury it deep. My experimentation had reached the limits. I thought about destroying it. You wouldn’t have felt a thing, but I couldn’t do it.”

“Couldn’t do it because you didn’t know how, or because you realised you were wrong?”

Twilight shrugged, clutching her other foreleg to herself. “Neither, Twilight, I simply lacked the courage.”

There were so many things wrong with that statement, I didn’t know where to start. This… prankster, this idiot, this playful spirit, was more different than I thought. She was a gulf apart in my understanding, but that didn’t mean that she was justified, or that I wouldn’t be able to set her straight.

I paced around the room, deep in thought. It was good that she didn’t decide to simply destroy the universe, but it was troubling that she didn’t seem to find a reason why that was wrong. It all stemmed back to her warped views about us. To her, it was like we were copies. Things to be simulated, reproduced, and rewritten or destroyed at will. She didn’t believe we were real.

I gestured to my friends as we gathered together. I glanced back, seeing Twilight hunched off to the side, looking more miserable than ever.

“What do you think?” I said. “We need to find a way to convince her that we’re real.”

Applejack sucked at her teeth, tilting her head in consideration. “I don’t know, Twi’, ponies just know when something is real and when it’s not. It ain’t difficult, you know it here.” She tapped her heart.

“You can’t win over Twilight with that kind of logic,” I pointed.

“It’s not about logic,” Rarity said. “It’s about feeling.”

Fluttershy nodded. “She’s using logic as an excuse,” she said quietly. “I feel like she’s just hurt on the inside.”

“Maybe she needs a good kick in the head,” Rainbow muttered. She glanced around, then rolled her eyes. “I don’t mean literally.” She paused. “Okay, maybe a little.”

“We need to overwhelm her,” I said. “In one move she won’t be expecting.”

“She kind of freaked out when she saw you brought your friends?”

Pinkie grinned. “I know what she needs,” she said with a devious smile.

“What?” I asked.

Pinkie cocked her head. “Isn’t it obvious? She needs a hug.”

I blinked at her incredulously for a few moments, then I grinned so hard it hurt my cheeks.

“Oh, Pinkie,” I said with a laugh. “That’s so crazy it actually might work.”

——————

I approached Twilight with a purposeful stride.

She met me with eyes devoid of emotion. For a few heartbeats, I saw the depth of age concealed within her mask of blank outer emotion. Then it was gone, and she merely stared at me, waiting for me to say something.

“We’ve decided to go back,” I said abruptly.

Twilight’s mouth fell open. Inwardly, I added that to my sadly lacking column of wins, but we were having a good run.

“You’ll just leave, just like that?” she said hopefully.

“Yes, on one condition,” I said.

Twilight looked at me, then glanced warily at my friends who wore satisfied smirks.

“What condition?” she asked cautiously.

“That we give you a hug,” I said casually.

“W-What?” she spluttered.

“Well, I guess you haven’t been the best pony in the world, but in the end, you’re still me. What’s important is that you understand that we’re real, we exist, and that we’re something you don’t just throw away.” I glanced around. “We don’t really belong here either, the same way you don’t belong in our universe. We should go, but not before we know you won’t do anything rash.”

“Giving me a hug isn’t going to change my mind,” Twilight whispered.

“Maybe,” I said with a shrug, “but what are we going to do? Anything I come up with isn’t likely going to persuade you through your wall of reason. If I know myself, you’ll have rationalised every little argument you can think of to guard against our words. Simply put, I’m stubborn, so I know you are too. What you need is something to break past that. Something to remind you of what’s important.”

“It’s not going to work,” she insisted, but this time she broke eye contact.

“Well, we won’t know until we tried,” I said with a wry smile. “Spike, girls?”

I wrapped my hooves around the alicorn and pulled her into a hug. Fluttershy joined, and soon after everypony else had circled around and drawn Twilight into a tight hug. Feathers and hair and hooves stuck out in all directions, even sharp claws, but I ignored them and hugged her tighter. It was like hugging granite, but I didn’t mind. This was the best we could do.

When we finally broke away, Twilight was trying very hard to bore a hole in the floor just by looking at it. I smiled weakly, uncertain of whether our plan succeeded or not. Twilight didn’t move, nor did she speak. When nothing was forthcoming, I shrugged and made for the crystal sitting on her desk.

“Come on everypony, let’s go home.”

“Wait.”

I froze, then turned back.

Twilight was still staring at the floor, her feelings a mystery.

“Yes?” I prompted, causing her to look up.

Eyes stained ochre met mine. “Maybe stay? There’s no rush to go. M-Maybe for some tea?”

She sounded so awkward I had to stifle a laugh.

“We can’t be here for very long, we don’t—”

“Twilight,” Rarity said, “we should give our host a chance to be hospitable.”

“But…” I looked at the others.

Rainbow shrugged. “I didn’t eat anything today, I could use some grub.”

“Tea would be nice,” Fluttershy said.

“Wouldn’t turn down some tea,” Applejack added.

“Tea would go well with the cake I brought!” Pinkie exclaimed. She brought one out of her tail. I put aside thoughts about eating cake with Pinkie’s tail hair in the mix.

Spike shrugged and smiled, but didn’t say anything.

“Ah yes, right, a few hours more won’t hurt,” I hastily amended.

Twilight perked up slightly. “Really?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah,” I turned back to my friends. “Can you all go ahead? I just want to… talk to myself for a bit.”

When everypony except Twilight left, I closed the door and stared at her.

“You must think I’m evil,” she muttered.

“Evil? Not really. Misguided? Definitely. I guess it depends on the perspective.”

“I’m sorry,” she said slowly. She winced. “It’s… a little hard for me to say that.”

“I can tell,” I said wryly. “Come on, the others are waiting.”

Twilight stopped me with her hoof. “Just like that? Weren’t you going to say something too?”

“No, I just felt you wanted to, so I stayed behind, that’s all.”

Twilight considered this and for a very long moment lay silent. 

“Can you forgive me?”

“No,” I said finally, watching her sag. “The hardest thing to do is to forgive yourself. I’ve been so disappointed that I don’t even know if that’s possible.” I took in her tortured look and eased up a bit. “But who knows, maybe I will...” I trotted towards the door and turned around with a sly smile.

“...in the future.”


The End.