Ouch!!!
“How was my day? Well for starters, I didn’t find any quills. Just a tiny, little, wee-bit of a MASSIVE BUCKING CONCUSSION!”
Dear Princess Celestia, my name; as weird as it sounds, is Pentatonic Philharmonica, but you can call me Keys. I’m and outgoing, upbeat unicorn pianist that just moved to Ponyville, and lives in a small home just past the golden oaks library.
I know, Pentatonic? Really? Well let me explain what my name means. If you are familiar with scales in music, a pentatonic scale is a scale commonly found in folk and gryphon music, and it sounds odd and different, like it’s almost unfinished. In my opinion, it sounds really cool.
You may know my sister Octavia, one of the best cellist’s in Ponyville. We bear a lot of the same traits, but she was always Mums favorite. Anyway, our family has always been very involved in music, mainly orchestral music. But recently, Octavia’s marefriend, Vinyl Scratch, introduced me to a new genre of music that just popped up a few years ago.
“Interesting,” was all I said about Vinyl’s taste in music, “But I don’t see what the big deal is. What’s so special about it?” But after that remark, vinyl said and I quote, “Buddy, I’m gonna teach you the way of the wubs.”
I know, right! That was the silliest thing I have ever heard.
Octavia really tried to talk me out of it. She said, “It’s already bad enough that mum knows I have a marefriend who not only is my special somepony, but also a dj at clubs. You know how much mum hates that genre of music. Plus you still have to finish that song for the Equestrian Royal Conservatory of Music.” She had me there.
“But Tavi, I feel like this could be the next big step into my music career.” Said the unicorn with a slight bit of annoyance to his voice.
“Brother please.” Octavia pleaded. “If this were to take you anywhere, I’d eat my bowtie,”
“Wanna bet?” Pentatonic said raising an eyebrow.
Octavia sighed. “I cant believe I’m doing this. If you somehow manage make a career out of this, I’ll eat my bowtie.”
“Aw, piece of cake.” The unicorn waved a hoof at Octavia.
“But if you don’t,” A malicious grin formed on Octavia’s face, “Then you need to come on a spa day with Rarity and I.”
Pentatonic’s ears flattened against the sides of his head.
“Buck me with Celestias front forhooves.”
The next few months consisted of nothing but electronic instruments and the occasional drink when I helped Vinyl at the clubs. I usually have cider from Sweet Apple Acres.
I learned everything Vinyl knows. Turntables, launchpads, wiring, lights, the works! Thank Celestia I didn’t develop an alcohol problem, I need those brain cells to remember this stuff.
I decided to get a new attitude. I dyed my hair a two toned black and white, got contacts and even my signature flat cap to go with my new styl-
“Darnit to heck, Quill broke.” The grey stallion said. He then began to search frantically for another quill.
“Yo, keys! Berry Punch just downed a keg and I think she’s gonna hurl! Come on it's gonna *hic* be hilarious!” A drunken Vinyl said as she stormed into Pentatonic’s office in the back of the stage. (It actually was just the janitor’s closet. A roomy one at that.)
“HEY VINYL!” Keys shouted over the blaring music in the background. “Not right now, I’m in the middle of something.” Vinyl came in and closed the door.
Vinyl snorted a drunken laugh. “Looks like you’re in the middle of a *hic* janitor’s paradise,”
“Ha Ha, you’re a riot.” Keys said sarcastically, still looking for the spare quills.
“Would you say im a virtual riot?” Vinyl punned.
Keys gave her a ‘Did you just say that?’ look as he rummaged through a pile of windex bottles.
“Hey! Heeeeyyyy,” Vinyl said swaying for side to side. “You need to relax a little, that *hic* letter to whoever you're sending that to can wait.”
“No it can’t, Vinyl!” keys said, getting just a little annoyed with her.
“This is a letter to Celestia we're talking about! The princess expects perfection!”
“Yeah, it’s a letter to *hic*Molestia. So take your time with it, Jeez.” Vinyl bumped into a shelf and fell over into a mop bucket snoring. Keys sighed.
"you're right.” Keys said, chuckling a little at Vinyl's drunken state.
"I’m gonna go out for a bit. I have to see where I can get some quills.”
“Cool, you do whatever you were- Oh, and Pinkie wanted to *hic* see you.” Vinyl said. Lifting her head out of the bucket.
“Huh, I wonder what she wants.” The unicorn said as he exited stage right.
“Ponyville is such a nice place.” Keys thought to himself as he walked along the dirt path toward Quills and Sofas.
'It’s always sunny, except when it’s not, people here are always smiling; thanks to a certain party pony no doubt.' Keys thought for a moment. I'll stop at Pinkie's real quick to see what she wants.'
Coming out of his thoughts, he noticed a small purple spec flying toward his head.
“Oh, its Spike... Wait, why is he flying? Last I checked he didn’t have win-THAT'S BECAUSE HE DOESENT OH BUCK!!”
Spike gave keys a nice high-speed head-butt as they collided and made a crater in the ground.
“Is the ride over? I would like to get off.” Spike said, still dazed from the mach 5 headbutt. Keys was not faring any better.
“That. didn’t. hurt. Wait, oh, yep, BUCK ME THIS HURTS!!”
After a few dozen cuss words, Keys noticed a purple unicorn sprinting towards them with a look of absolute terror in her eyes.
“OHMYGOSHSPIKEIMSOSORRY!!” Twilight said in a fit of mass hysteria.
Keys picked up Spike in his blue aura and floated him up to Twilight.
“I believe this is yours?” Keys said, raising Spike up to her, Spike's eyes spinning in circles making rattling noises.
“Oh hi, Keys!" Said Twilight, taking Spike back with her magic, “Thanks for catching Spike with your face!............Again.”
“Always here to help.” Keys said, rubbing his head with a hoof.
"New spell?" Keys asked.
"Eyup." said twilight
"What spell was that exactly?" Keys questioned
"It was a spell made by..... ah who was it again. I think his name was Michal Bay?" Twilight explained.
"Oh, is that right?" said Keys, feeling lightheaded
“Are you alright?” Twilight said.
“Yeah, I'm fine, just gonna take a nap-"*SNORE*
Keys fell to the ground, unconscious.