> Rest and Relaxation
>  by Sunka
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> 4 Days and 3 Nights
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in the service, guys used to like to brag about sleeping with two mares.  Yards McCanter now knew they were full of road apples.  
Starfall was on his left.  She was curled up in a fetal ball around a stuffed bee Yards had won at the Mairephis Summerbration.  Whimpering, she was so afraid she had climbed halfway up his back, trying to get closer to him.  Ever since their fight in the base where they'd been attacked by smooze she just hadn't been able to sleep alone.  The problem was the fear from her nightmares made her almost impossible to sleep next to.  She began to kick out in fear and her indigo left wing smacked him in the back of his head.  Her long, silvery tail thrashed under the covers.

If he could, he'd roll over and hold her.  If only to keep her from beating him any more senseless.  But then there's the other problem.  Toffee Chips.  The adventures of the librarian of Ponyville had had the opposite effect.  She had grown bolder.  Gone from a meek little mare to camped out right up against him, almost like Delta would have.  She was picking up all the worst traits of her changeling “friend.”  Yards wasn’t sure if it was just they had gotten closer or if she was still feeling guilty about turning her over to the Inquisition.  

If he rolled over to see to Starfall he'd have to kick Toffee.  If he wanted to scratch the itch on his head he'd kick Starfall.  If he just wanted to regain feeling in his left rear leg he'd wake one of them.  Overall it was a lot less fun than what he would have been led to believe. 
The train car jerked and popped, giving him a slight chance to wiggle out from in between the duo.  Starfall had used her contacts with the rail lines to get them two private sleeper cars.  Unfortunately, the rail line had been overbooked and they were all crammed into one car.  Luckily the trip from Mairephis to Canterlot was only two days and a night.  Once there, he’d check in with Princess Luna, then head home, back to Sweet Apple Acres.  

Well, that wasn’t really true.  He’d go try and track down little Rhubarb Salad, make sure she was okay at Rarity’s school then find her mom down in Sun Butt’s dungeon and check on her.

He walked out of the car and closed the door silently behind him.  Walking down the hallway, he made his way to the lounge car.  There were a few other ponies in the room, but it was a Monday night, so the crowd was subdued.  Most of them had the look of ponies that were used to being up all night or still too messed up from the Summerbration to sleep.

He ordered a strawberry and carnation fizz from the bar then started grumbling about the price.  Shortages from the devastation of a decade-long civil war meant ponies could charge almost any price for food.  His work at Sweet Apple Acres was to try to improve harvests to alleviate this problem, but it was the type of problem that was too big for one pony.

“Finished already?” asked an amused voice behind him.  A red pegasi walked by and sat across the table from him.  “I’d figure those two would have kept you up for a while.”

“I got tired of being smacked by wings all night.”

Astro Rey laughed, then waved at the bartender.  “That’s why you got to bind them down.”  

Yards closed his eyes.  "I'll pretend I didn't hear that."  He took a long drink as the bartender brought Astro's beer over.  The former Shadowbolt tipped the bartender and took a drink from his bottle.  

“So, I hear there was some drama at the start of the last mission.  You okay?”  

Yards sighed and crunched an ice cube.  “I thought I was.  You know, when I started this.  I mean, most of it was just hypothetical.  ‘Be vigilant and watch over the Apple family, they may yet bear fruit once more.’  I got comfortable.”  He smiled to himself.  “She’s a cutie too.  I mean, the best way to ‘watch the Apple family’ would be from the inside,” The stallions snickered slightly at the innuendo, “ but.  I mean, until the whole Spike thing started us off I never really considered it possible.  Now,” his eyes lost focus as he looked outside into the night sky, “now...I’m responsible for their lives.  They’re doing horribly dangerous things and even basic things like riding in a train have become dangerous.  I really dropped the ball and now everything’s road apples.”

Astro scoffed then finished his beer.  “Look, I know it looks like Shining’s got his ducks in a row, but that’s only because you’ve dealt with me and Messer.  You don’t know what he goes through with Catty and Aurora.”  He shook his head with a sad smile and ordered a fresh round for the table.  “Catty doesn’t mean to, but she’s so spacey that she drives him crazy.  Do you guys have a laughter yet?”
Yards shrugged and thanked the bartender for bringing his new drink over.  “As far as I knew I was supposed to be finding replacements for the three missing ones.  I was never really looking for a laughter.”

“Yeah, this one time, we were supposed to go to this formal banquet in Neighbraska.  Right before the feast she slipped into the kitchen and they had these butternut squash that were huge and they were stuffed with all these peppers and rice and stuff, well she pulled out all the stuffing and replaced it with corndogs.”

Yards sat his drink down and looked at his compatriot.  “You’re kidding.”

With a grin Astro continued.  “Nope.  Shining was so pissed.  He almost said something unkind.”

Yards snickered.

“Some days I think she does it on purpose.  I just don’t understand why.”

“She’s a mare, they’re all insane.”

“That’s why I date eagresses.”  

Yards considered going back to his room.  That would mean being slapped repeatedly by wings.  Still, the night was wearing on and he’d have to appear before the princesses when he got back to the castle.  He sighed, not sure if it would be worth it.  The few night crew were already starting to file out of the gently rocking car.  Astro decided it was about that time.  

“Well, good luck getting any sleep.  Though I bet if you asked nicely they’d help you with tiring yourself out.”  He grinned as he slid out of the bench.

“Yeah, that’s part of the problem.”  Yards slipped out of the other bench.  “I don’t know what I’m going to do about them.”

Astro waved with his head for the light green unicorn turned earth pony to follow him outside.  The back of the cart had a couple of patio tables bolted down for pegasi to stretch their wings and feel the air push it’s way through their feathers.  He took the side of the table with more wind as he opened his wings slightly.  “Alright, buddy, what’s going on?”

There was nopony else here and the wind noise meant nopony could hear even if there was.  They could talk in private.  Yards sat down and sighed.

“Well, I...I never dated in school.  When I went to college, it wasn’t much better.  I had to spend an entire semester in remedial magical classes.  In an unicorn college that’s just a huge ‘special ed’ cloud hanging over my head.”

“But, it’s college, mares are everywhere, surely there were some somewhere in the liberal arts department.”

Yards laughed.  “I went to a thaumaturgical university with an emphasis in engineering.  All eight mares there ranged from negative four to six and were engaged in a week of being there.”  

Astro laughed as well. “Ah, and then you went into the military as an officer and yeah, anti-fraternization rules.  Yeah I see the problem.”  

Yards nodded, absently twiddling his hooves to do something with them.  “Yeah.  Now all of a sudden I’m covered up.  I like them all.  I, I do love them, but…”

Astro whistled softly.  “Well, buddy, I tell you what, I know what Messer would say:  ‘Pick one and get it over with.’”

“What if I pick the wrong one?”

“There’s no such thing.”

“Sure there is.  One of them means things will go the best.  Others mean things might go okay, but way more struggle than it might be worth, others...well, might seem good at start, but close all the other doors and then not work out and then I’m alone again.”

“That’s what dating is for.  To find out which is which.”

Yards sighed, looked down.  He said something, but it was lost to the wind and clacking of the tracks.  

“What was that, buddy?”

“What’s it like dating a non-pony?”

He gave him a curious look, then slowly, understanding dawned.  “You know I’ve always been kinda curious about dating a changeling.  You’d think all that stupid crap normal mares put you through to prove you love them just wouldn’t pop up in the relationship.  She’d know you loved her because she wasn’t hungry.”

“Yeah, but, you know.  You couldn’t ever have your own family.  She’d be forced to be completely reliant on you or else the Inquisition would take her.  Not to mention she’s rather bossy and kinda clingy.”

“Yet she risked her life to try and ‘save’ you.”

Yards nodded.  “I hope she’s okay.”

“Isn’t there something about loving something so set it free?”

Yards nodded.  “That I did.  Did anypony ever give you any real problems with dating griffons?”

“Besides Catty?”

Yards nodded.

“Well, yeah.  I get a lot of dirty looks from mares.  Of course, there’s a lot of sadness in those looks too.”

Yards gave him a curious look.  “Why?”

“Because they’re lonely, I guess.  And they see their own loneliness.”

Yards spun his empty glass in his hooves.  “A little poetic, eh?”

“A little, but, oh, right.  Yards you’re an anomaly, buddy.  When you had leave and you and your buddies all went into town, weren’t you swarmed then?”

“I was in a hidden, underground bunker for years.  Before that, Lunari shift.”

Astro nodded.  “That I understand.  Having a social life while everypony else is asleep isn’t easy.  Well, before that you said there was no mares at your college and apparently no mares in your town or something?”

“Me and two of my cousins were the only unicorns.  They weren’t ‘allowed’ to date us.”

“WHAT?”

“My dad was a unicorn with an earth pony’s power to grow things.  Just being good at his job made a lot of ponies mad.  So the other earth ponies weren’t allowed to play with us.”

Astro gave him a strange look.  “That explains so much about you.  What about the pegasi?”

“There weren’t any in town.  There was a couple of families that worked the county and handled the weather, but that was about it.”

Astro shook his head.  “Now that you’re finally in the real world, you don’t know how to handle it?”

“What?”

“Let’s just say your problem is increasingly common.”

Yards headed back to the door.  “Well, I’m gonna hit the straw.  We’ve got to appear before the Princesses tomorrow.  Thanks for letting me talk some.”  He’d had enough sharing for now.  He really didn’t know Astro that well.  But still, it was good to talk to somepony with testosterone.  He really needed some guy friends in his life.

“Alright, get some rest, see you tomorrow.”
________________________________________________________________

The train pulled into Canterlot station.  It was nearing twilight; a most auspicious time for the teams of the sun and moon to arrive together.  There was a small squad of soldiers waiting at the platform.  The soldiers saluted as the two teams dismounted the train.  Reflexively the stallions returned the salutes.  Privates came out and took the bags and put them in a small cart.  The procession walked quickly and with minimal fanfare to the castle using back roads..  

The setting sun glistened off Messer’s orichalcum wings.  The reflection of the sunlight danced on his pale grey, close cropped mane and dark pewter coat.    The drab colors of his coat were contrasted with the bright blue of his eyes.  His cutie mark was a white blade with one wing in sinister.

Yards noticed that his eyes were the same color blue as Toffee Chips.  Given her dunish tan coat and white mane and tail he wondered if they weren’t related.  Probably not directly, but some sort of cousin.  He’d learned on the train ride that Toffee’s black stripes in her mane was cosmetic.  Nuzzling her sleeping form had given him a good view of her roots.  

Shining debriefed with the soldiers on what had happened in town in his absence.  There was a smaller corporal that had overflowing saddlebags of reports reading them to the prince.  It was amazing how well the corporal could walk, fumble papers, push his glasses back up, and hold up the report he was reading from all without losing his place.  He was in uniform, but not barde, so his coat was it’s natural light blue  with his dark brown mane clipped short.  His cutie mark was hidden under his uniform.  

The procession lead straight to the castle proper where most of the entourage peeled off, with their luggage.  Toffee squeaked in protest.  Starfall was overwhelmed by the grandeur of the castle.  “They’re in the west wing.  The Alabaster Salon,” the corporal told them.  The stallions nodded.  The Alabaster Salon was known to them.  It was used sporadically as a “semi-formal” audience chamber.  It was the type of place the princesses met with long familiar dignitaries, or advisors on matters that mattered but weren’t to be part of the common record.  

Yards and Shining had no problem finding it.  Their years of service here meant they knew exactly where to go.  The others followed along, all were rubbernecking to one degree or another.  This wasn’t an area that most ponies got to go into, not even the two ‘bolts.  

The Alabaster Salon was by normal pony standards large.  In the palace, it was “cozy.”  The walls and floors were covered in a pure white alabaster.  Around the room were tasteful sculptures.  There were dark tapestries and blue and gold area rugs on the floor to provide a sharp contrast and to show the influence of the little sister.  At one end were two occupied divans of equal size and height.  One was of polished ebony, the other clear sealed cherry.  In front of them was a low sitting, long table.  Down each side were sitting cushions.  There were bowls of fruit on the table.  

As they filed into the room Yards saw a heavy crystal box by the door.  It’s gilded stand held it up neck high.  The inside was an angled cushion covered in royal purple felt.  Resting on the felt were two gems, two necklaces and two empty holes.  Five settings were arranged around a sixth in a circular pattern.  The two necklaces were at the bottom.  A balloon on the left, a diamond on the right.  The two crystals were at the top and right.  These were the Elements of Harmony.  With Rainbow Dash and Applejack’s death their elements had reverted back to simple crystals.  Rarity and Pinkie’s elements were in the case.  Fluttershy’s had disappeared with her into the Everfree and Twilight’s had disappeared from her head with her death.  

The others had seated themselves while he’d been distracted.  Quickly he realized everypony was waiting on him and he hurried across the table to the last remaining cushion.  

Luna and Celestia were both smiling down from their divans.  Celestia spoke first:  “You all did an excellent job, my little ponies.  Though the nature of this endeavor forces us to keep it from the public know that we are grateful.”  

Luna floated a small box in front of Yards.  “In recognition to you finding a way to stop the smooze and saving your compatriots, we doth grant you the boon of a raise in status.  We hereby acknowledge the rank of Captain upon you.  Congratulations.”  There was polite clapping from around the table.  

Yards took the box from the air and opened it.  It was a third of a moon.  When worn beside the other two pins making a half moon of his rank it would create a gibbous moon of the Captain.  Self-consciously he tried to stop grinning.  

“As Yards noticed,” Celestia began again, “we have brought the Elements out once again.  The time is coming that their use will be required once more.  But first they must be reunited.  Soon the fifth element will return to us, but you have time to rest and recover. Shining I’m sure that you’d like to see your parents.” 

He nodded.  “I haven’t seen them in a while.  If it’s okay with you.”

She smiled “Certainly.  Those that would like to stay in the barracks are free to do so, though we’ve got a modest home inside Canterlot proper setup for you all if you’d rather something more quiet and out from underhoof.”  

Starfall schoffed.  “Who wouldn’t want to stay in the castle?  It’s amazing!”  The princesses smiled at the praise to their home.

Luna pulled a cord beside her divan.  “Verily, it does have other accoutrements as well.”

“Yes, something to eat would be a good idea,’ agreed her sister.

Yards could smell the food before the small train of ponies brought it in.  Trays of bread and soups were carried in by ponies from the kitchen staff.  Then at the end was a white earth pony with a red and pink mane who came in wearing a navy blue dress with a white pinafore carrying in familiar smelling apple bread.  No.  It couldn’t be.  

“APPLE!”  Yards cleared the table easily and tackled the mare.  There were two impacts right after.  Feathers flew from the collisions.  There was relieved laughter, squeezings and tears everywhere.  Slowly the four ponies untangled themselves and that was when Yards realized he was kissing Apple Rhubarb.  He pulled away, blushing brighter than her hair.  “Wha?  Are you okay?”

She nodded.  Herself blushing, then a look of concern crossed her face.  She reached up and brushed Yard’s bangs away from his forehead and looked on in horror at the stump of a horn protruding from his skull

Toffee renewed her hug on her long lost friend and Yard’s malady was forgotten for the moment as she returned her friend’s affections..  

“Oh, Apple, we thought you were in the dungeon!”

“Nay, why would I do such?”  asked Luna.  “Keeping ponies locked up is expensive.  Service is far more befitting somepony with her potential.”

“The dress is adorable, too,” added Starfall taking her turn at more hugs.  

“Hey, guys, why don’t we give them some alone time,”  offered Shining.  The other three stallions bowed to Celestia and Luna then made their ways out.

“I believe my sister wishes to have some words alone with you, if you wish to stay I will see you tomorrow.”  Celestia rose to her long legs and walked out, leaving Yards alone with the four mares.  Yards watched the groups walk out when he thought he saw one of the crystals twitch.  Could it really be?  

“Yards, you vexed me.”  Luna loomed over the other ponies.  Her scowl let it be clear she was displeased.  “My sister had to motivate my champion to do my bidding.  Know you how much face you lost me with that stunt?” 

“I’m sorry, Your Royal Highness.”  He bowed low to her.  “I never meant any disrespect.  I just…”

Luna smiled.  “But upstaging my sister’s team only showed that I was correct in choosing you.”  The two pegasi stared in terror at the princess.  “Oh, don’t be concerned.  Even we princesses engage in sibling rivalry.”  Yards knew that smile.  She was hiding sorrow behind her public mask.  All Lunari Observers learned to look for it.  

“Are you alright, My Princess?”  

Luna held her smile.  Happiness tugged at the corner of her eyes.  “Of course, Captain.”

Despite himself, he looked down and grinned to himself.  He noticed Apple Rhubarb smiled at him when his new title was spoken.  
“Princess,”  Yards looked back at Luna.  “The Elements…I think I saw one of them move.”

This time Luna’s smile was genuine.  “Yes, as your friendship grows and you come to realize your true natures, they will resonate more with you.”  Her accent had changed, she was relaxing to drop the formal speech she used in front of crowds and to speak in the manner she would around her guards and few friends.  The happiness then drained from her, though she did a great job of hiding it.  Yards doubted the mares would pick up on it.  “Truly, It’s too bad you never found your laughter.  Though it was never my element.  I’m not sure-there is a problem here in town.”  A blunt transition.  Whatever came next was likely the truth.  Luna was nowhere the statespony her sister was, though she tried.  “Stores and shop owners are being attacked.  It’s why we got the house ready, that way you could have an inconspicuous location to work from.  You’ll likely be working with some of Shining’s team...getting to know them…making friends with them.”
“Your Royal Highness, Astro said they were ‘our competition.’  What does that mean?”  Starfall addressed Luna directly for the first time and with some visual trepidation.

Luna sighed and walked over to the Elements.  For a while she just stared into their case.  “When one bonds with the Elements…”  She was thinking hard, trying to explain something for ponies that had no point of reference.  “They’re...alive.  But not like a pony.  Each is a fragment of the whole, but still with their own defining characteristics.  They communicate with us.  Not so much in words but, feelings.  My sister says that while we were in restitution, they helped her guide the creation of Ponyville so that the new generation of elementals could be born in time to save me.”  Softly she caressed the case.  

“How, Your Royal Highness?”  asked Toffee.

“They exist, differently, in time.  They can see those times that they’re needed and can guide the bearers to those times.  It usually takes the form of sudden insight centered on the elements.  Other parts of one’s life, they remain silent on.”  The pain and bitterness in her voice sent shivers up Yard’s spine.

“So, Your Royal Highness, how is Astro ‘competition?”  Starfall prodded her back onto her question.
Luna looked back at the ponies in the room.  “Please, you may simply call me ‘Luna’.  Yards only calls me that when he’s concerned for my well being.”  She gave him a pointed look.

“I hate to see you so sad.  You are my little princess.”  He tried to smile at his joke, but anyone who got it just groaned slightly.  
“You do due diligence.”  She sighed before speaking again.  “Equestria has come to a crossroad.  How the sixth element will make manifest will depend on which of the two stallions learns his true element first.  It will determine Equestria’s direction.  We have charged them with gathering up others to become their friends.  To aid him.  To care for him.  To grow with him.”

“I’m the sixth element?”

Luna nodded.  “That is why you are my champion, as Shining is my sister’s.”

“So, I’m the new magic?”

Luna shook her head.  “No.  The sixth element changes with every manifestation.  For us, it was ‘obligation.’  Equestria needed our sense of duty to establish order from Discord’s chaos.  It was why it punished me.  I forsook my obligations.”

“So, then,” Toffee was putting things together, “if I’m the new Honesty, or might be the one, do we know what the others are?”

“Your counterpart is the other unicorn in Shining’s coterie.  It has been fairly obvious to us that our Apple is Loyalty.  Her complement is the pegasus Messer.”

“What am I?”

Luna looked at Starfall.  “You have not solidified yourself yet.  Though you and Astro compete for Kindness.”

“So then we both need to find a laughter and a generosity?”  Toffee was writing down a character list.

“Generosity has been found, though she’s not ready for her burden.”

“There’s only one?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“So, then, wait.  Shining’s team has a laughter?”  Toffee was drawing lines to names, creating a web of relationships.

“Yes.”

“Is she the zebra?”

“Yes.”

“Uh, she’s a zebra, not a pony.”  pointed out Yards.

Luna regarded him with eyes straining to hide her sorrow.  “Does your friendship have such limitations?”

“Uh, well, I only talked to her for a little bit, but she seems okay.”  Yards scratched his mane in confusion.  

“So, then Yards needs to make friends with this zebra?”  Starfall was catching up with everypony else.

“I think Delta would say something about ‘what base does he have to get to with the zebra?’’” poked Toffee.

Yards blushed a deep red.  “Yeah.  Look, I’m sorry about how I’ve treated all of you.  You all deserve better and, well that’s...I’m sorry.  I mean, if you all are going to be my friends and our friendship is going to be what saves Equestria...I don’t want to come between you all.  I-I want to not,” words were failing him.  He’d tied himself and the others into huge knots.  “I’d love to be in a relationship with any of you, but I don’t want to hurt the others, so, I’m…”

Apple Rhubarb walked up to the fumbling stallion.  Softly she looked him in the eye, then slapped him across the face.  “You think you’re so important?  Look.  We’re friends.  Me, Toffee, okay Starfall and I didn’t spend much time together yet but something tells me she wouldn’t be hurt if you and me or Toffee started a relationship.  Friendship is stronger than that.  You aren’t that important.  Well, okay, you’re important, but, ‘Sisters Before Misters.’”

Starfall walked up beside Apple.  “Uh, yeah, look.  You’re nice.  You’re smart, strong, but I’ve never said anything about wanting a relationship with you.  You’re old and kinda lame and that you wanted a relationship with me is kind of creepy.”  

Toffee walked up onto the other side of Apple.  “What was it you said to me in Mairephis?  ‘I care enough about you that I want you to be happy.’  Do you think you have the monopoly on that sentiment?”

Yards sat down, hanging his head in shame.  “Sooo…how do we, go about this?”

“Well, lets get to our new place, first.  That way we can get some rest.  You look horrible, Yards.”  Apple reached out to Yards in forgiveness.  He smiled at her.  

“Yeah, I haven’t slept well the last few nights.  So, where is it?”  Yards had taken a nap on the train, but the movement and activity kept waking him.  He could use a good night’s sleep.  

“1312 Mockingbird.”

Yards bowed to Princess Luna, “By your leave, Your Royal Highness.”  While Luna strove to make ponies friendly with her, she enjoyed any show of supplication.  

“Sleep well, my little ponies.”  Luna nodded to her followers.

Yards cringed but said nothing.  They walked out of the room and closed the door behind them.  Hidden doors in the Salon would lead the Princess to other areas of the castle, allowing her passage through the castle away from star struck ponies getting underhoof.
“Oh!  Oh!  Oh!” squealed Starfall.  Speaking of star struck ponies, “We met both Princesses!”  She held her forehooves by her face and her whole body shook in excitement.  Toffee grabbed her hooves and gushed incoherently.  Together they bounced up and down in the air squealing in excitement.  Yards just watched, waiting for the excitement to wash over them and settle down.  It was a common occurrence the first time a pony met the believed divine princesses.  

“They talked to us!  We talked to them!”  Even Toffee Chips was incoherent with excitement.

“Luna knows who we are!”  Starfall giggled maniacally.  

Yards turned to Apple.  “She treated you well?”

Apple nodded as they began to walk to the front door while the pegasi zoomed around the hallway in the air.  “I haven’t been able to see my girl yet, but I’m free to go about the palace grounds and with you to the house.  Apparently she’s filled some paperwork that says you’re basically my parole officer.”

Yards rolled his eyes.  “Would have been good to have told me.”

“I just did.”  She smiled at him.  “Yards, I heard that Trixie…”

“Cut my horn off?”

She nodded.

“Doctors say in another couple of months it’ll grow back enough for me to do magic again.”

“You!’  Starfall landed on top of Yards’ back.  “You know her to where she know’s how you are when you’re worried about her!”

Yards nodded.  “Yeah.  I served with her for most of my military career.”  Yards saluted the guards at the front gate.  “I could really use a good night's rest.”

The guard looked at him.  “You and me both, Captain.”  Yards thought he recognized the guard.  He was a fellow Observer.  His response let him know that Luna’s unease had been noticed and was being monitored.  Excellent.  They walked out into the cooler night air.  It was still muggy summer air, but the heat of the day had passed and Luna’s cool caress had begun.  

“So, how did you meet the Princesses?”  Starfall asked from his back.  It was kind of nice carrying her there, though Yards wouldn’t admit it.  It was intimate.  Her whole body draped across him, her pegasi magic lifted her just enough that she wasn’t encumbering, but still felt solid.

“Well, I needed a way to pay for college, so I went with the military tuition reimbursement plan.  Near the end of boot Celestia came for her personal inspection.  That’s when she saw my cutie mark.  She, made a joke about me being branded with her hoof.”

Apple guided them through the increasingly old streets to their new “home” while Yards kept an eye out for any trouble.  The pegasi were too starstruck to be paying attention to their surroundings.  

Toffee flew down to the ground and looked at Yards’ flank.  He didn’t really talk about his cutie mark much.  It was a hoof, reaching out to touch Celestia’s.  An homage of one of the great works of art.  

“So, she specially requests that I be brought in as one of the Royal Guard.  After I got there she introduces me to Luna.  She…”he stopped before he told them about his orders to observe Luna for any evidence of a return of Nightmare Moon.  That was top secret and nopony’s business.  

“So why would Celestia have requested you for her guard then give you to Luna?”

Yards did his best to keep his voice even.  “Because Luna needed me more.”  He sighed through his nose and watched a shadow.  “You see…” he sighed again, momentarily distracted and having to regain how he was going to explain this and not commit sacrilege.  “The princesses are old.  Not just old, but really old.  It’s really hard for them.  So many ponies come and go in their lives.  We guards are the ones they see and interact with the most.  Our biggest function isn’t guarding the castle, but in guarding the princesses’ grasp of pomanity.  They do love us,” he immediately tried to correct any misgivings that might be brewing with the girls.  “it’s just that, well, to protect themselves emotionally, we’re...pets to them.”  The pegasi didn’t like that at all.  However Apple’s face lit up.  

“That’s what it was!  I knew there was something about it that was at the back of my mind.”

“Yeah.  Luna loves to hear stories from other parts of Equestria.  She’s still got issues with her inferiority complex, so would rather hear about things than risk rejection.  Celestia...well, if I didn’t know any better I’d almost think she was practicing eugenics or something.”  The mares were aghast.  “She’s infamous about setting certain guards to do trivial and silly tasks that inevitably lead to them spending large amounts of time around certain single mares in the castle or surrounding area.  I mean, come on,” he started to laugh, “how else would Shining have caught the eye of somepony like Princess Cadence?”

Toffee awed.  “That’s so sweet.”

“Yeah, it’s her way of keeping in touch with the common pony.”  The ponies all smiled.  “And generates legions of supportive, soldiers that feel indebted to her for their happiness and fulfillment.”

“Yards,” Apple glared over at him.  “You know you don’t always have to be so cynical.”

“Sorry.”

Mockingbird Lane was in the “Aviary” neighbourhood.  It was a huge shelf high on the mountain full of very old estates.  It had fallen onto hard times.  The stately older mansions had been converted into apartments that were rented out to the working class and lower.  While Canterlot had not been attacked during the war, the lands around it had been ravaged hard.  As such food costs were obscene in Canterlot.  Even though industry was booming, what it took to feed a pony meant there wasn’t much left over.  Ironically this left Canterlot one of the worse off  places in Equestria.  

1312 Mockingbird was a tall four story building with stately flying buttresses holding aloft tall spires.  The balconies on the top floors had been repurposed to be landing pads for pegasi.  The plaster covering the bricks in what was at least an attempt to be maintained; was thin and cheap.  The doors were old and warped but repeatedly sanded to try and keep them functional.  The windows were ancient and single paned, some were even open.  From what they could see, it was a lot better maintained than the place across the street.

“We’re on the second floor,” Apple told the others.  

The grounds were abused with the living.  There were clothes lines out in wings.  The trees were being eaten and the ground was muddy from ponies nibbling the lawn.  An old swing set and slide were off to the side for the little foals to pay on it, instead of breaking something inside.    
As they walked through the once grand double doors inside they were greeted by an earth pony.  He was in a chair, tucked behind a well worn desk that had been exposed one too many a time to poorly regulated weather.  His bright, green eyes were smiling at Apple as she walked into the room.  He seemed the embodiment of the house.  Once strong and solid, age and sedentarism had taken it’s toll.  His shoulders were still straight, but the muscles had been covered and were being converted into flab.  He was starting to develop a grass gut.  His teal coat was still closed cropped and his White and green mane was forever regulation length.

“Rhubarb!  Good evening.  Who are you lovely friends?”

She smiled at the guard.  “Hey Lucky.  These are my other friends.  They’re going to be staying with me too.”
He shook his head.  “That’s a lot of loveliness in one suite.”  He looked into Yard’s eyes.  Yards recognized the hundred yard stare looking through him.  “And you’re a fine looking specimen.”  Great.  He was about to ask him something awkward.  Yards decided to just cut him off at the quick.

“Inter-military administrations.”

The earth pony saluted.  “It don’t matter where you served, Son, be proud.”  He put his hoof down and grinned at him, “Even if you were a glorified secretary.”  

Yards smiled at the joke and the guardsman turned, losing interest for the beauties around him.

“I’m Starfall.”

Lucky smiled at her.  “I’m sure stallions fall for you all the time, don’t they?”  

She smiled back in that “You’re cute because you have no chance” smile.

“I’m Toffee Chips.”

“Well, it’s going to be great having so many lovely ladies living here.”  He pushed himself away from the desk and spun his chair.  That’s when they realized he was missing his lower half.  He pushed his wheelchair along with the rest of the herd.  “So, six of you in three rooms?  Gonna be crowded.” 

Yards looked around, doing a quick headcount.  Six?  Oh, right, the STARE team.  

“Are you going to give them the tour, Rhubarb?”

“Sure thing, Lucky.”

He smiled and turned back to the desk.  “Alright, I’ll just get back to work.  Call if you need anything.”

They walked into the Foyer where there seemed to be old gym lockers set up.  “This is the cloak room.  If you want a locker, talk to Lucky, he’ll assign you one and you can keep a cape or a coat in here.  It’s easier than toting it around.”  They went out through the doors and into a common area.  It reminded Yards a lot of his dorm setup in college.  

The room itself was a grand hall style room.  With a black and white marble tiled floor, white, plaster walls and a grand stairway going up to other levels.  To the far left of the stairs was a large fireplace.  Surrounding it were couches and shelves creating a library area.  There were several divans and love seats clumped together for ponies to conversate around.  At the far end were open doors into what would have been a ballroom.  Yards could see ponies playing darts and billiards inside.  There was a large door to the right that was open to tables.

“Across is the rec room.  It’s a part of our rent, so it’s free.  To the right is the cafeteria.  I swear it’s where they make most of their money.  Rent here is fairly reasonable, but there’s no place to store or cook food in our rooms, so if you want something, the cafe costs extra.  There’s machines if you get hungry between meal times.”

“What about that library over there?” asked Toffee.

Apple Rhubarb smiled at her friend. “ Honestly, I haven’t had time to look it over, but I’ll show you our rooms that way you can come back down and tell us about it.”  She led them up the stairs and to the left.  There was rows of doors on either side of the hallway.  “We’re in suite five.”

“A suite?”  Starfall asked.

“Yeah, it’s well, three bedrooms and a really nice bathroom.”  She quickly came to a door and opened up their new place.  The room had two doors on the left and a large bed on the right.  There was a wardrobe by the far door.  Large windows looked out onto the grounds.  The floors had old, dirty shag carpets that had been shampooed too many times.  The bed was older, but in decent shape.  It carried the simple elegance found in much of unicorn architecture.  The sheets were clean, new and a simple, solid white.  There was a bookshelf and dresser that matched the designs of the bed.  The bookshelf had some water damage on one of the shelves.  

“The first door is the bathroom, through it is the second room.  This other door is the last bedroom.”

Yards smiled and trotted over to the back room.  “Great, I’m going to bed, you girls can fight over who’s sleeping where.”  Yards opened the door.  It looked like it had at one time been a large walk-in closet.  It was half as wide as the other room and just long enough for a bed, a footlocker and a small area just big enough to turn around in.  Beside the bed was a small end table for a nightstand.  On the wall across from the door was a single shelf stretched across the length of the headboard.  The plaster of the walls lacked the ornate stamping that the other walls had. 

There was a newer window on the wall to the right, along the bed, to provide ventilation.  Yards opened it and breathed in the night air.  It wasn’t horribly late at night, but his lack of sleep over the past few days left him ready for bed.  That and he really needed to talk to Luna in private.  He didn’t want to say anything in front of her, but Starfall really needed to go see a therapist, and it probably wouldn’t hurt Toffee either.  The girls had been terrified out of their minds and were going to need some help dealing with it.  He wasn’t going to let them suffer.
Sure, he could probably use a shower too, but he could wait until morning.  Then he’d be sharing a bathroom with five mares...crap.  Groaning.  He turned and walked back out into the other bedroom.  Should he knock?  He wasn’t sure.  Nah, what were they going to be doing, making out with each other?  Briefly his mind went there.  The three of them, piled onto the bed.  Sure it’d start with hugs and happiness to see each other.  Then the hugs would turn into caresses, somepony would get daring and the “welcome back “ kisses on the cheeks would end up on the lips and start lingering….Woah.  Had to stop that.  He was going to be walking out there in front of them soon.  No need giving them a show.  It would be really nice if there was some garment or something that could cover an awkward boner.  

As he pushed the door open he saw the girls going over the wardrobe and shelves, locating all their stuff that had been dropped off from the train.  Starfall had her bee in her mouth and was carrying it over to the bed.  Toffee wasn’t in the room and Apple was pealing out of her dress.  She smiled at Yards as he walked in.

“Going to go take a shower first, kinda smelly.”  

She nodded as he walked into the bathroom.  “I'll put your things in your room while you do that.”

“Thanks,” he called over his shoulder.

The bathroom truly belonged in a mansion.  It was longer than his room.  There was a door on the far wall as well.  All along the left wall was a huge mirror.  Under it was a jetted tub and a vanity.  To the right was a huge, multi-headed walk-in shower and a venetian door.  He opened the door to find a recessed toilet.  The floors were tiled and the walls had a seascaped mold in the plaster of a schooner repeated over and over.

He stuck his head back out the door and looked for Apple.  She was coming out of his room.  “Are there towels?”

“Should be.  Check under the vanity.”

He turned back around and examined the vanity, finally locating the concealed door, leading to the towels hidden inside.  They were brand new:  crisp and scratchy.  He pulled one out, and started looking around inside for more.

“Hey,” he shouted back out the door.  “Where’s the washcloths?”  

“There’s two loofahs in there.”

He rolled his eyes.  It wasn’t that he was against new technology, far from it.  But when something worked, you didn’t rebuild a replacement just because.  That was wasteful.  He checked the bottles on the tub.  Most were scented bubble baths and salts.  With a little looking he finally found the bottle of regular old Mane ‘n Tail.  Picking it up he walked over to the shower.  

It took several minutes to finally figure out which knob did what and what shower heads hit in comfortable spots, but eventually he was being pounded down, front and right by hot water.  Motionless he let the water work it’s magic on his tired body.  Cleansing away all the grime and cares.  The shower door slid open.  

“I’m in here.”  His eyes were closed from the rivulets of water cascading down his face.

“I know,” said Starfall.  The door closed.  Yards turned and shook the water from his face.  She had come in carrying a long box.  “Hey, which one turns the different heads on?”  She started fiddling with the knobs.

“The top one.”  

She squealed as the high shower head behind her blasted her back.  “I thought you could use somepony to get your back.  Since...you know.”  

She looked at his forehead.  “And I could really use help to preen my wings.  I can’t reach the back very well.”

Yards’ eyes grew.

“You do know how to preen a pegasus, right?”

“uh…”

“Oh, it’s not hard.  She turned around, rubbing her body against his in the confined space.  She extended an elegant, long wing in front of him.  “I can get the bottom and the top ridge, but the middle of the top is really hard to reach.”

Yards looked at the offered appendage.  The water was starting to run down her body.  It plastered her silver and white mane down to her skull and ran down her neck.  He bent his neck down to get a closer look at her wing.  The tiny feathers interlocked to create a protective sheath around the delicate bone structure.  

“Go ahead, nose through them and find any damaged or loose feathers.”  

He saw what looked like a feather missing the barbs on one side so he grabbed it with his teeth and yanked.  Starfall yelped and smacked him with her wing.

“Not like that!  Grab it at the base of the feather and gently pull.”  She stuck her wing out again.  Clearly agitated at her student.  “You never have done this, have you?”

Yards blushed.  “No,” he mumbled under the sound of the water.

Her expression softened.  “Really?  I mean, you’re old enough to, do you just normally only deal in other unicorns or what?”

Yards buried his face into her wing rather than having to talk about his inadequacies as a stallion.  He nuzzled past the outer layer of the feathers to the skin.  Softly he found where the afterfeather lay against her flesh.  He softly bit into it.  She grunted appreciatively.  “That’s better, but I prefer less teeth.”  Yards moved his muzzle over to the next feather, effectively kissing her wing at the base of the feather.  “There you go.  That’s how you want to do it.”  Slowly he made his way down her wing, kissing each feather as the hot water poured down on both of their bodies.  Occasionally a feather would come out in his mouth and he gagged and would have to spit it out.  She shook her head.  “Just when it starts getting nice you have to go and ruin it.”  Row by row, feather by feather he worked his mouth along her wing.  Softly at first she began to grunt.  Slowly, her breathing became more ragged and sharp. 

Yards found a feather that had been cut in half, but no matter how much he sucked and nibbled it just wouldn’t come out.  

“Problem?”  she opened her eyes and looked over, breaking her ecstasy. 

“This feather, it’s broke, but won’t come out.”

“Oh, I’m probably going to have to imp it.”  She disengaged from him and turned off her showerhead.  Then she opened the case on a small shelf in the shower.  He’d always noticed the shelf in showers, but never really understood what it was for.  The box seemed to fit it perfectly.  She opened the case, revealing rows of her feathers.  Yards came up behind her, intrigued.   
“You keep your feathers?”

“You have to.  Whenever I molt I put them in this case.  You wouldn’t happen to know which feather it is, do you?”

Yards compared her wing to the feathers in the case until he found it’s match.  “This one.”

She pulled out a set of odd side cutters.  He took them from her.  “Do you want to try it?” she asked.

“Sure,” he said through the handles. She shrugged.  

“Okay.  Pull the other feathers back and clip it past the downy part, but before the follicle.”  Dutifully he made the cut.  “Alright, now, try and cut off the amount that’s left in the wing from the new feather.”  Another easy cut.  ”Now go through the rods at the bottom and find the one that just barely fits inside the shaft.”  They looked for all the world like toothpicks of slightly different thickness.  The correct one was easier to spot than it was to not laugh at the innuendo of rods and shafts.  “Glue it in there with the bottle then stick the other end into the part, oh, you’ve got it already.  Wow.”  She held her wing still for a few minutes while the glue dried.  Then gave it a test flap.  “Wow, most guys won’t do that.  It’s too much work and they can never seem to get the right feather.”  She gave him a warm smile.  “Even pegasi stallions just grumble about one feather being ‘good enough’.  Wanna do the other one now?”

Yards nodded as he came around her other side.  By the end of the wing he was doing it with his eyes closed and her breathing was desperate.  She grabbed the loofah and half heartedly wiped at his back.  Her eyes blazing with desire.  Kissing his jaw she whispered into her ear.  “Wanna see what I can do with my lips?”  Quickly she started kissing down his neck, around his shoulder and down his ribs and under to a knock on the door.  

“Hey you two, there’s been an attack in the neighborhood!  We’ve got to go!”  

“Wow, you are part earth pony, aren’t you?” whispered Starfall into his ear as she turned off all the showerheads.

Oh crap this was going to hurt.  He tried to regain his composure.  Soaking wet, she walked past him into the bathroom and grabbed his towel.  “Guess we’ll have to try this again later.  You can do my underside.”  She flapped her wings dry and wrapped the towel around her long tail then opened the door to their room.  A zebra poked her head into the room.  Quickly Yards tried to hide behind the shower doors.  

“Come on you two, there'll be time or that later.”  She looked at Yards and grinned mischievously.  “Hopefully a long time.”  She winked and disappeared again.  

Yards grabbed another towel and did a quick dry off.  Baseball, baseball, some nice soup, hordes of dead his weapons caused..  Anything but Starfall’s supple flank.  Oops.  No, somepony had apparently been attacked.  Like he’d attack that-No.  Stop that.  He draped the towel over his back and walked out to a gaggle of girls.  

“Girls!”  He raised his voice over the noise of them talking.  They all turned to look at him.  “Alright, where were they attacked?”

The zebra answered him.  “It’s a convenience store two blocks over.”

“Anypony hurt?”

“She’s being treated by the paramedics now.”

“We need to leave so we can get witness testimony,” added Toffee.

“But what if somepony comes back?  They could…”  Starfall was shivering.  Yards had a feeling it wasn’t from being wet from the shower.  Wet Starfall...NO!  Focus.  

“Okay, let me grab a couple of things from my room for safety.  Uh, Toffee, grab pen and paper for notes,” Toffee jumped and ran for what she needed.  “Um, I’m sorry, I forgot your name, Kat-?”

“Catawumpus,” the zebra finished.

“Great, Catawumpus.  You know the area?  Do we need a map?”

“I’ve been able to find my way around.”

“Apple, how well do you know it?”

She simply shrugged.  

“Okay.  Well, we’ve got pegasi, we should be able to find a landmark.  Hang on.”  He walked into his room and opened up the foot locker.  Sure enough, wrapped in a blanket was a box.  Opening the box he pulled out the compact smg and it’s holster.  He strapped it to his leg then grabbed his night cloak and pulled it over him to help conceal the weapon.  No point threatening everypony.  
He walked back in, Toffee had made it back already.  “Alright, we ready?”  The girls nodded.  They headed out the door and down the stairs.  “What direction are we going?”

The zebra waved at somepony.  “We’re going to take a right out the doors,”  they raced past the pony at the front door and turned as directed.  Their hooves pounded the road as they raced down the street.  “Turn here!”  shouted an excited Catty.  As one they rounded the corner and powered down an avenue.  The street, like this neighbourhood was old and had seen better days.  The convenience store had once been a glassblowing boutique style store.  It still had the original sign of Carafetables.  

There were night watch ponies everywhere.  An older pegasus stallion in a rumpled coat was looking over the crime scene.  His coat was the blue-grey of an angry sky with black mane, slowly turning to grey.  There was crime tape cordoning off the area.  Yards slowed down as they began to hit the small throng of people who were still out and rubbernecking.  

“Excuse me,” he started pushing his way through the crowd.

“STARE Personnel!  Everypony move!”  Catty shouted.  A path opened up to the small crowd and the old stallion headed their way.  Catty walked boldly up to him.

“Catty, good of you to come.”

“Hey, pH,  what’s going on?”

“We’ve got an assault and robbery.  They took some food, beat up the clerk pretty bad.”

“Toffee, Starfall, you two wanna go check on the clerk.  Catty, uhm, coordinate with the locals.  Apple, see if you can get an idea on how much and of what is missing?  Everypony got it?”  Yards broke into leadership mode.  Time to start acting the part Luna had given him.  As the mares dispersed to their jobs Yards noticed another mare.  

She was standing behind and slightly to his left.  Her coat was a bright yellow.  The hat on her head was black and with a wide brim that concealed her eyes.  She had a parrot beak.  There was a slight horn sticking out of a hole in the hat.  A lock of her red hair was all he could see of her face.  It was a sharp, jagged cut that came down in a harsh point.  Her tail was a purposeful ragged cut he figured mirrored her mane.  It looked like her cutie mark was a pink rectangle.  Wow, that had to be the worst cutie mark ever.  

“Uh,” a strange mare and instantly he shuts down.  

“Aurora.  I’m here with Catty.”

“Oh, you’re a unicorn.  Great.  So, what, uh kindaoufm...magic...”  His voice completely shut off and instead he waved his hoof.
She glared at him through the brim of her hat.  He couldn’t see her eyes, but he could feel the disgust. “I don’t know,” she mocked him, “what kind can you do?”

He looked at her.  “I don’t have my horn anymore I don’t have any.”

That seemed to take her a back.  “Oh, that sucks.  What happened?”

“Trixie cut it off.”

“That was you?  Oh, I should have recognized you.  I’m the one that zapped your pet changeling.”

“Delta.”

“Whatever.  ‘We’re all just tools, there’s nothing for me or you, a reflection from an empty pool, because everypony chose you to use.’”.
“Horsewhipped?”

Her faced looked up at him.  You know Chained?”  Her eyes were turquoise balls hidden in artificial darkness.

“Tartarus yeah.”

“What’s your favorite?”

“Blank Bucking.”

She gave him a curious look.  “That’s a B side.”

“Yeah, but it really spoke to me.  I’ve got one of those obtuse marks that took forever to figure out.”

“Yeah how often do you get to be Celestia’s hoofstool?”

Yards blushed deeply.  “It’s multi-disciplinary studies.  Yours?”

“Peeling away the false facades of others.”

“Ah, so your magic…”

“Counters all magic.”

“That’s pretty sweet.”

It was her turn to blush.  “Well, it counters my magic too, so, it’s all I can do.”

“Well, it’s not like I can do anything for a while.”

She smiled at him.  “Yeah, but I’ve been this way my whole life.  You just lost your horn a couple weeks ago.”

“I was one of three unicorns in an otherwise all earth pony school.  Went to college knowing nothing more about magic but being able to lift five pounds and detecting water.”

“Hey, if you two are done flirting, we’ve got something.”  Catty waved at them from the cooler.  They both blushed and walked over.  The other mares kept a wary eye at the new predator entering their territory.  

There was a crudely drawn gang symbol done in permanent marker on a cooler door.  It was hard to make out, some sort of long snouted pony howling at an egg and a horseshoe on each side.  They all looked at it in confusion.

“What is it?”  Yards finally asked.  

“We’re not sure,” answered Catty.

“Have the police seen this symbol before?”

“He says he doesn’t recognize it but will check the records.”

“What did the mare say?”  Yards nodded at the clerk.

Toffee started reading from her notepad.  “She says four earth ponies came in, started grabbing food.  When she asked them to pay they told her that it was immoral to charge for a basic need, then started throwing around racial slurs and started beating her.  She managed to reach the alarm button, they broke her foreleg, grabbed food and ran.”  

Yards shook his head.  The cop was rubbing at the base of his muzzle.  “Oh great, there’s going to be another round of food riots.”

“We’ll do everything we can to stop it.”  The mettle in Apple’s voice was good to hear again.  He smiled at his old friend’s words.  Aurora, who was standing behind her, just rolled her eyes.

The officer nodded, “We’ve worked with the STARE team before.  I’m sure everything possible will be done.  Just don’t leave too much of a mess for me to clean up.”

Yards couldn’t help but arch an eyebrow.  He looked over at Catty but she was innocently looking at the candy.  

“Well, do we have descriptions of the four assailants?”  Absently Yards started scratching at his forehead.

“Yeah…” started the policepony.

“I’m hearing a ‘but’ in there, uh...”

The police officer walked over to Yards and held out a hoof.  “Oh, of course, sorry.  I forget.  I’m just used to dealing with Catawampus.  You know, she knows me.  I didn’t know she didn’t tell you.  I’m Detective Pigeon Hawk.  I work most of the violent crimes night cases.”

Yards smacked hooves with Pigeon Hawk.  “So, your ‘but’?”

“It’s a Merlin.”

“What?”

“My butt.”

“No, the ‘but’ you were about to say.”

“OH!  OH!  Oh.  I’m sorry.  Some ponies, you see, they don’t recognize it and just call it a bird.  But it’s not a bird, it’s a Merlin.  That isn’t to say a Merlin isn’t a type of bird.  It is, ya see?  It’s just little details like that.  It’s what really makes my job either a whole lot more difficult or a whole lot easier.”  He looked pointedly at Yards, waiting for an acknowledgment.  

Nervously he looked around.  They were all looking at him.  Mechanically he nodded.  He still had no idea where the conversation was going or even where it had been anymore.  

Pigeon Hawk nodded too.  “Sergeant!  Sergeant!  Uh, make sure and,” he turned to Toffee, “Can we have a copy of your notes, wow, that’s amazing penmanship.”

“Thank you,” she blushed.

He took the notepad gently from her hoof.  “Really, it’s amazing.  I’ve never seen something so elegant.  You must do this for a living.”  

“Oh, no.  I’m a librarian.”

“Really?  Here?  In Canterlot?”

“Oh no, in Ponyville.”

“Ponyville.”  Pigeon Hawk scratched at his chin.  “Do I know that place?  Let me think.  Let me think.”

“It’s the Golden Oaks Sparkle Memorial Museum.”

Instant recognition lit his eyes.  “That’s where I heard that.”  He looked over at Catty.  “Sparkle Museum.  Twilight Sparkle Museum.  The Element of Magic.  That’s how you know Catty.  I was wondering where the rest of the STARE team was and who you ponies were.  Anyways, do you mind if we get a copy of your notes?  We’d just like to get a second set of descriptions.  You know sometimes ponies don’t always remember so good.”

And suddenly Yards got it.  He was hunting for information from them.  He was setting them off guard so they’d tell the truth in confusion.  Unsure where he was going so unable to create a believable lie.  Okay, he could deal with this.  Toffee was nodding in the affirmative for his requests.  It was reasonable, but he really didn’t like the whole going after his subordinates.  That or maybe it was Toffee’s blush.  

“Detective Sparrow Hawk,”  Yards drew the officer’s attention back to him.  Sparrow Hawk turned to face him.  
“Yes, oh, we didn’t finish introductions did we?”

“Captain McCanter.”

“Ah, Army?”

“Well, R&D.”

“Oh really, were you in on any of those crazy weapons they used during the war?”

“I’m afraid that’s classified,” was his instant response.  

Sparrow nodded.  “Yes, yes, of course, forgive me.”

“Well, Detective, you seemed to think there was some sort of problem with getting descriptions?”

“Just the usual problems.”

Yards’s sleep deprived mind fumed.  “What problems?”

“Why, that physical descriptions aren’t valid for prosecution.”

“What?”

“You know, between changelings and the new outcry of profiling earth ponies, we’re no longer allowed to apprehend someone over their physical characteristics.”

Yards rubbed hard at his temples.  “So, you’re saying that if you were to see the ones listed here,” he poked the notepad a little too hard with a hoof, “there’d be nothing you could do about it?”

The detective shook his head.  “Basically we have to ask everypony in the neighbourhood for an alibi, then wait until we catch them doing it again and without them leaving our sight.”

“That’s insane!”

Hawk sighed and nodded his agreement.  “These new changes...I don’t know about them.  They were created to make sure nopony innocent goes to jail.”

Yards scoffed.  “Funny Trixie doesn’t have to follow those laws.”

Hawk shrugged.  “I’m sorry, I don’t have any control of the Inquisition.”

He looked around, slow recognition dawning.  “So, the princesses created these rules?”

Hawk nodded.

“Great.  Now they’ve hobbled themselves with non-sense, so to get anything done then STARE has to get involved for those rare few violent crimes?”

Again he nodded.

“Alright, I’m going back to bed.  This is far too stupid for me to think through.  No, really, are we missing anything?”

“Well,” offered Toffee, “We could look around outside for clues.”

Yards nodded.  “Okay, valid point.  Unless the detective has any sort of evidence they’ve found already and want to share with us.”

“Hmm, oh, well, we’d rather do that.  That way the evidence chain isn’t suspect.”

“Great.  Why don’t you do that.  When can we get a report?”

“As soon as the boys in the lab find something I’ll send it over to the castle.”

Yards nodded.  “Okay, we’re staying at Mockingbird Lane, but leaving it at the castle will probably keep what little cover we may have left.”

“Alright, of course, of course.  Would it be alright if I came by if I have any other questions?”

Yards sighed.  “Yeah, fine, whatever.  Girls?  You all need anything?”

Starfall reached into the cooler and pulled out a strawberry soda then gave him a hopeful look.

Yards rolled his eyes.  “Sure.”  The other mares all grabbed things from the shelf.  Yards looked around.  He saw an older unicorn doting over the younger, broken unicorn.  She was wearing a jacket with a Caraftables badge on it.  Looks like she was either the owner or at least the manager.  Would it be vulgar to ask her to ring up a sale?  He looked over at her and waved hesitantly.  She nuzzled her employee then walked over to him.  

“Hi, uh, how is she?”

“She’ll be okay.  I just can’t believe that happened to her.”
“So, nothing like this has happened around here?”

“Well, there was stories, here and there, but I never believed them.”

“Detective, one more thing.”

“Yes, Captain?”  Hawk looked up from his notes.

“Can we get a map of where these attacks have been happening tomorrow, too?”

“Certainly.”

“So, uh,” he turned back to the manager, “is thereanywayyoucouldringthisup?”  He blushed hard and couldn’t stop the grin as he pointed at Starfall’s drink.

She sighed and rolled her eyes, but remained professional.  “Sure.”

“Great, thanks.”  He slapped a hooful of bits on the counter then stepped outside.  He wasn’t sure if it was just too many stories, but he always heard that criminals came back to the scene of the crime to gloat and bask in the glory of their misdeeds.  He did his best to memorize all the ponies there.  This was one of the poorer neighbourhoods, and apparently heavy on the earth pony population.  Great.  The mares walked out of the store.  Toffee handed him his change.

“Everypony good?”

Eventually they all nodded, or acknowledge in some way.  Starfall’s was a belch of satisfaction.  “Excuse me.”  She covered her mouth with her wing in embarrassment.  

“Toffee, do you remember their descriptions?”  Yards started slowly walking through the crowd, looking around at the individuals still.

“Yes, there were four, three mares and a stallion.  One was a light orange with a darker mane.  Her cutie mark looked like a marker with wings.  She was the artist on the cooler.”  

Yards nodded, that made sense.

“Another was dark green, with a white and yellow striped mane and tail.  Her cutie mark was hidden by a cloak.  It was a faded mauve.  The third was pastel purple with a purple and lavender frosted mane.  The cashier didn’t get a good look at her mark.  The stallion was kinda small.  Said she didn’t realize he was a stallion at first.  He was pale blue or white, with a hat and a blond tail.  She also didn’t see his cutie mark.  Said he had really nice eyes, though.  They really sparkled.”

They made the first turn back to their temporary home.  “Hmm, that isn’t much to go on.  We may have to check some of the other places that have been hit.  Uh, Catty, Aurora, what do you two think?”

“Wha?”  Aurora seemed to be taken out of inner musings.  Yards gave her a friendly smile.  “Do you know anything about the area?”

“Uh…” she looked around self consciously.  

“It’s okay to not know,” he offered.

“Oh, that’s Aurora.  She’s okay with strangers, but then she freezes up if she likes somepony.”  Catty started taunting her friend.  “Of course, bringing her her order is enough to get her to think you like her.”

“Shut up!”  Aurora glared at her ‘friend’.	

“Poor thing, she really needs a special somepony.”

“Shut up!”  Aurora’s cheeks were crimson.  

“She’s self implosive.”

“That sounds like somepony I know.”  interjected Apple Rhubarb.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.  A certain stallion walking around.  Gets really shy towards women.  Then flirts all big to get them hooked, then panicked that he’s got attention.”

Yards hung his head as the other mares laughed.

“Sounds about right,” added Starfall.

He sighed then turned up the walk of their house.  “Alright girls, we’re here.  I don’t know about you all, but I’m exhausted.  Do whatever you want, I’m going to bed.”  

Purposefully he clopped his hooves loudly on the stairs so he couldn’t hear any of them coming.  Sure it was a little juvenile, but he didn’t care.  

He walked into his room, threw the cloak and weapon into the footlocker and crawled into bed.  He looked out the window at Luna’s sky.  So beautiful.  He sighed.  The work day was done, time to rest.  

The door opening awoke him.  He freezed in trepidation.  Who was coming into his room?  Quiet hooves walked as delicately as they could on the hardwood floor.  The covers were pulled back.  Odd, assassins, don’t usually do that.  He could smell apple scented body wash.  The bed groaned as the mystery guest climbed in.  She grunted as she got comfortable.  Then she rolled over to him.

“Yards?” whispered Apple Rhubarb.  That wasn’t who he was expecting to try this stunt.

“Apple?”  He rolled over to face her.  She had a sad look on her face.

“Uh, I’m sorry, for teasing you.”

“pfft,” He immediately felt bad about that as her close proximity sprayed his saliva all over her face.  “Doh!  Sorry about that.”  He wiped at her face with his foreleg.

She smiled back at him. “Okay, even?”

“Well, I didn’t mean too.”

“It’s okay.”

He dropped his foreleg around her.  “So, why are you here, not that I’m complaining.”  He wasn’t sure he’d be able to hear her response over his heart straining to come out of his ears.  

“There’s six of us, three beds, do the math.”

“So, you’re…?”  

“I have tonight.  Tomorrow is Toffee’s turn, then Star.  We drew for it.  I kinda got screwed out of the ‘date’ part of a date night since we just decided on this.”

Yards chuckled to himself.  “Well, you’ve cooked for me enough times."

“Well,” she snuggled closer.  “Let’s just say it’s too bad for them I’ve been married before.”  Her hoof touched his belly.  “It’s been a while since I was with a real stallion.  Delta fades too quick.”

Yards’s mind quickly went there.  Delta and Apple, together?  “Wha…” escaped his lips.  

“Yeah, she may be able to take on a stallion’s form but she’s way too submissive to be a real man.”

“Wait, what?”  That caught his attention.

Apple blushed slightly.  “Well, remember how she was helping Spike get over Twilight’s death by taking on her form so he could say goodbye?  Uhm, it started off as her doing the same thing for me and my husband.  Then one day, I...I didn’t mean it to happen.  We kissed, like I would have kissed Delight.  Oh Cez, I shouldn’t be talking about him to you, should I?”

Yards hugged her tighter.  “It’s okay.  I know it’s something we have to deal with.”

She gave him a big smile.  “Well, thanks.  Well, one thing lead to another and…it was kind of creepy.  But, it was also, releaving?  Is that a word?”  Yards shrugged.  “Well, a couple of weeks later we kind of were a little tipsy and we tried it with her in another form.  Then, we, we started experimenting with...other forms she knew.”  She turned but he could see the blush all the way into her ears.  

Yards laughed.  “So she wanted to be Chuck Wagon?”

Apple nodded without looking back.  “Wait, she doesn’t really know that many male forms...were you two off watching romantic comedies together or something?”

Apple shook her head.

“MY FORM?”

Apple only barely moved her head to nod once.

“That...that’s just wrong.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Why even tell me this?”

“Because you deserve to know.  I don’t want there to be secrets between us.”  She rolled over to face him again.  “I love you, Yards.  I want it to work.”  She wrapped a forehoof around his neck.  She leaned in and they kissed.  

“Anything else you want to tell me?”

She looked down.  “I don’t like it in the butt.”

Yards laughed.  “I think I can live with that.”  He could too.  As he caressed her jaw he thought about how he already accepted so much of her into his life.  As much of a heel as it made him, with Little Rhu away in school instead of always underhoof it meant that he could focus on just learning to be in a relationship, rather than having to divide his attention between learning to be a coltfriend and a father.  That was just so much to have to learn all at once.  

Apple Rhubarb.  His marefiend, then, maybe, more.  It would mean a successful, but hard working life.  A family.  He would be normal.  All his life he’d been odd.  What would it mean to him to be ordinary?  

They came up for air, before he nuzzled her again.  She turned her head, inviting him to her throat.  Her breath was coming quick.  He leaned it, breathing deep her scent.  Could he wake up to her every day?  Share everything in his life.  Accept her into every facet of his being?  His chest began to tighten as his heart pounded.  He buried his face into her jaw, at the base of her throat.  His heart wouldn’t stop racing.  It wasn’t right..  Something was wrong.  Why was he crying?  He rolled onto his stomach and buried his face into her.  It took her a few minutes to understand that this had stopped being sensual and that there was something wrong with him.  She cradled his head and held him until the morning.	
> Well, so much for that one.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

You could get a bowl of boiled oats or corn for four bits.  It included one small brick of green fescue and a scoop of dried fruit of your choice.  Or you could buy the small brick of fescue for a bit apiece.  Judging by the grass guts and trays in the cafeteria, two to three bricks sold much better than the nutrition dense oats.  The heavy set earth pony behind the counter looked at him with an uncaring glint in her good eye. All she cared about was the five ponies behind him.  They were all a part of his entourage, so he didn’t feel any sort of hurry.  He looked over the dried fruit selection.  

“Blueberries,” he finally decided  Without so much as even a huff she put four dried blueberries into the bowl of oatmeal and handed it over to Yards.  At the end of the line was another pony working a cash register.  Yards paid for all six of them.  He walked over to a larger round table and sat down.  

Apple sat down across from him.  Things had been...odd between them.  He still didn’t understand why he had broken down last night.  He hadn’t mentioned it to Luna when he’d put in the request for Starfall.  He couldn’t.  Not if he was going to lead, that would be, it would be, he’d have to admit he was as damaged as he was.  

The unicorn mare sat down beside him.  She was wearing her hat from last night and a billowy, long sleeved black shirt that gathered at her fetlocks to create the Illusion of a black cloud around her.  Her tail was bound up in a black ribbon bow.  A black lace mini skirt with a wide, sequined belt holding it in place finished her outfit.    She had an album under her tray.  Gently she pulled it out.  

“I’ve got the live version of “Foundered” if…” her voice trailed off.

“That the one with Close Cropped?”

“Yeah.”

“I haven’t heard that in ages.”

She smiled softly.  “I got it at their Phillydelphia concert in the Legacy of Want tour.”

“Never been to a concert.”

“Really?”

Toffee sat down on the other side of Yards.  Apparently it was her day with him or something.  It seemed that the girls had set up some sort of “speed dating” type arrangement where they were taking turns with a day and a night each until he made up his mind one way or the other.  He nodded to her then turned back to the unicorn.  

“Nope.  Growing up they didn’t have any near me and, well, I never had time as an adult.”

“Wow.  That’s kind of sad.  There used to be a free one every Thursday in Honey Muffin Meadow Park during the summer.  They’d have a different one every week.  I saw Chained there twice.”

“Yeah, and then he got sick on too much carny food and missed his band last week.”  Toffee gave him a good-natured grin.  
Yards looked away, trying to hide his shame.  “Huh, well, when everybody’s ready we’re going to need to get moving.  Cat, Apple, uh Aurora go ahead and check up and see if there were any reports from Pigeon Hawk at the castle.  Toffee, Starfall, I uh, I’ve got a special assignment for you two.”

“Both of us?”  Toffee looked up from her grits.

“Yeah, there’s a little bit of old business we need to take care of.”

The other mares gave him a curious look.  

‘We should be done by lunch.  We’ll meet up at Haysome’s then and see where to go from there, alright?”

The mares nodded and the unremarkable meal was rather quickly consumed.  They bussed their trays over to the return window.  Yards had a brief moment alone with Apple.  “This really makes me miss your cooking, Apple.”
She smiled at him.  The smile was warm and genuine.  “It could have been better.”

“Apple, I’m sorry.”

She held her smile.  “It’s okay.  I’m sure you needed it.”

He smiled despite himself.  “Yeah, let’s hope so.  Uhm.  Make sure they know everything they need to.  Okay?”

She nodded.

“Be careful.”  He kissed her cheek.  She nodded and watched as he walked away to the waiting wing of pegasi.  “Ready girls?”

“Where are we going?”  Starfall asked.

Yards started out of the cafeteria and to the outside.  “I’ve gotten an appointment for you two to see a specialist.”

“What kind?”

“Psychiatrist.”  

Starfall stopped walking.  “I can’t afford that.”

“Don’t worry.  She’s a professional that works for the military.  Since it happened on government business, Luna has agreed to pick up the bill.”

Starfall kicked her trot up a gate to catch up with the other two.  “Why are ‘we’ going?”

“Well, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment to check on my horn, and, well...um...I want to make sure you’re both okay.  You’ve both been acting kind of weird lately.  I just want to make sure...you know.”

The mares looked him over with varying levels of disbelief but followed behind him.  

He lead them back down to one of the newer levels of Canterlot.  The Soldier’s Agency was a large, expansive campus designed to deal with all the wounded from the civil war.  Some of the outlying buildings were still being constructed.  All the fundamental services were in place, they were now working on specialist offices.  The grounds were still being laid out.  Stakes in the ground marked off future flower beds.  Flags marked a tree’s new home.  There were saplings in protective cages.  Ones large enough to keep hungry mouths away from tender leaves.  You could still see the stripes in the sod where it had been laid down.  A small crowd of ponies was laying brick for the walkway.  

The mental health building was a large spire with an exterior ramp complete with rail.  It’s gold and white motif was accented with lavender, like most of the buildings of Canterlot.  “So, she’s on the third floor.  She’s got full clearance, so go ahead and tell her anything you need to.”  He smiled at them as he walked them over to their building.  “I’m, uh, going to be over in that building over there behind the barracks.”  He pointed at a huge, squat building in the center of the campus.  It’s the other unicorn building over there, probably not done yet.  I should get done first, but you never know with this place.”  He kissed them each on the cheek and turned to walk away.  He glanced back a few times, making sure they started walking up the ramp.  Then they remembered they were pegasi and flew up to the right level.

There were only two other unicorns in the waiting area.  Hammering and chiseling echoed from down the hall where they were still working on the floor.  The paint was fresh in the room, some of the cushions still had sale tags on them.  The carpet still smelled bad.  He looked at the full clipboard of papers they had given him to fill out and sighed.  

This was a magical specialists.  Yards had dreaded this appointment.  The general practitioners had been hopefully optimistic about his magic returning.  This would give him more definite results.  If things didn’t go well here...even if his horn did return he might never be able to do magic again.  

He was still trying to get used to everything not feeling right, like how when you wore a heavy coat and you know something is touching you, but you can’t feel it.  His magic used to touch everything around him; at least on the subconscious level.  Now it just felt muffled.  Then there was trying to use his hoof and mouth for everything.  He’d forgotten how hard things used to be before he became proficient in psychokinesis.  

Flipping pages, he scribbled for what seemed like forever filling out endless bureaucratic repetition.  One of the other unicorns went behind the door to the exam rooms while he desperately scribbled.  Finally finished, he carried the clipboard back up to the unicorn behind the counter.  She lifted it out of his mouth and floated it over to a bin by a door to the hallway on the other side of waiting room door..
“Thank you.  Please be seated until we call you.”

Yards walked back to his cushion and glanced over at a table.  Amazing.  They were still building the place and yet they already had year old magazines.  

Absently he flipped through a Better Hooves and Homes, making some notes of a tasty looking souffle for Apple to try.  Why a military base had a Better Hooves and Homes magazine Yards had no idea.  He hoofed through the magazine, then the other four.  Then it was finally the other unicorn’s turn.  

Oh for the love of…  Yards ground his teeth in frustration.  He looked over at the clock.  Seventeen minutes had passed.  How?  That was something he simply HAD to research.  If he could find a way to control time then he would be a very rich pony.  
The receptionist woke him when it was his turn.  He hadn’t realized he’d fallen asleep.  Stretching muscles that circulation had stopped feeding. He stumbled as his legs strained to work again.  There was an earth pony in a nurse’s cap waiting for him at the door to the hallway of examination rooms.  Her coat was a light purple with a bright blonde mane.  Her hair doo was a two decades old swirled bang look.  Her eyes were blue disks of stoic ice.  

He followed that heart shaped flank of the nurse in front of him down an institutional pea soup green hallway.  She stopped in front of a scale.  Obediently he stepped up and the earth pony moved weights around to find out he’d gained eight pounds.  She made a note on his chart with the pencil in her mouth.  Then she turned and started back down the hallway again.  She opened another door and motioned him in.  

Exam rooms were all the same.  They were also the only thing more boring than doctor’s waiting rooms.  He sighed and hopped onto the exam table.  He looked around at the room. Locked cabinets kept him away from anything interesting.  The same old notices were plastered on the walls.  There were a few implements he was pretty sure weren’t torture devices on the wall.  
The nurse sat his file on a counter and began to strap the cuff around his arm.  She pumped it until he lost feeling in his foreleg.  He began to rethink that whole ‘weren’t torture devices’ thought.  After she was done with that, she held out a thermometer and he opened his mouth.  She made little notes until it was time to pull it out.  Satisfied with her findings she left the room with him all alone.  

He sat there in the room waiting.  The paper on the table crinkled under him.  He groaned and flopped back.  Ah.  This was why he hated going to the doctor.  

After an eternity the door opened.  The nurse came back in.  She gave him a smile and pulled out a measuring tape.  This confused him.  She began to take measurements of his head. He gave her a confused look.  

“Don’t worry, Dr Kirlian will be with you shortly.”

Time.  Why wouldn’t it flow right?  What kind of magic was a play here?  A half past eternity the door opened again.  A pastel green unicorn in a lab coat walked in with his clipboard.  “Yah, hello,” she glanced down at the clipboard, “Yards?”

Yards nodded.  “Yeah.”

She gave him a trite smile.  “Good.  So, let’s have a look at your horn, shall we?”  She walked over to the table.  Yards could feel her magic brush away his bangs.  He felt the tape rip away from the his coat on his forehead.  She lit her horn and starred in close at his wound.  A depressor poked him.  “Does this hurt?”

“No.”

“This?”

“No.”  He did his best to keep his head still but still answer her.  

The depressor touched the inner core of his wound.  Yards winced at that.

“Okay, that’s good.”  

A band floated out of one of her oversized pockets.  She sat it down on his forehead.  “I’m going to channel a small amount of mana through your horn are you okay with this?”

“Are you checking loss of signal?”

“That’s an interestng annalogy.  Yes, we can work with that.”  

Yards swallowed hard.  “Okay, mana only.”

She smiled.  He could feel pressure against his forehead.  The pain quickly grew through his horn.  He grunted, but kept quiet.  When the test ended the doctor looked at the readout on the band.  Her frown told him everything he feared.  “Have you been seeing some sort of holistic healer or something?”

“No.  They fixed a kidney the other day in Marephis.”

The doctor looked at him.  “Fixed a kidney.  This sort of thing happens often?”

Yards nodded.  

“There is no active-nevermind.  I don’t have clearance.”” The doctor started making notes.  “Have you been trying to use your magic?”

“Uh,”

“I need you to be honest.”

“Well, sometimes I forget and uhm, try to grab things.”

“Large things?”

“Define ‘Large’.”

She huffed slightly.  “Anything larger than a fork or quill?”

“Probably, but nothing, foal sized.  I’m pretty sure.”

She glared at him over the top of the clipboard.  She made several more notes then turned and left.  

Alone.  In the room.  Again.  Was he done?  Should he go?  Was there going to be more?  When would he know something?  He slid down from the table and slowly started to make his way to the door.  The doorknob turned and he quickly leapt back to the exam table.  The doctor returned, pushing a small cart.  

“Mr. McCanter, It’s not good, but it shouldn’t require major surgery.”

Yards let out an exhale he didn’t realize he was holding in.  

“It looks like somepony tried to heal it but didn’t maintain concentration enough to direct it properly.”

“That was probably the Fires of Friendship.”

She gave him a blank look, then shook her head.  He just caught her muttering about “holistic hocus pocus road apples.”    “It’s your mana flow that’s growing back in wrong.  She picked up a band off the cart.  “Think of this as a sort of cast for your horn.”
Yards looked at the band.  It was made of orichalcum and had onyx cabochons embedded across it.  There was a hole in the middle for his horn.  He looked at the runic etching.  “That’s a mana damper.”  

She seemed to be surprised.  “Almost.  It’s a mana governor.  It will regulate the amount of mana coming through your horn, and therefore how much mana enters your body.”

“Uh, I’m part earth pony.  I can generate my own.”

The doctors eyes lit up.  She looked back down at the clipboard.  “Ahh, that would explain some things.”  She sighed, mopping her brow with a kerchief.  “Are you sure?”

“It was my mom.”

“Well, that’s about as sure as you’re going to get short of adoption.”  She picked up the headband with her hoof and started fiddling with it.  “Hold on, let me recalibrate this real quick.”  She sat it back down onto the cart.  “Now, here’s what we’re going to do.  I’m going to completely discharge your mana.  It’s going to leave you exhausted; but if you’re part earth pony then you should recover quickly.  I’m then going to realign your mana flow through your horn.  It’s going to take an hour or so and it’s going to hurt, so I’ll give you a local.  Then I need you to wear this for a month.  Then come in and we’ll start stepping down the governing to allow more and more mana through.  Do you understand?”

Yards nodded.  

A needle floated up by his eye.  “This might sting for a little bit.”  The needle penetrated the core of his horn and he stifled a cry of pain.  It wasn’t just one quick shot either, oh no.  She rotated it slowly around inside, stinging a thousand different places.  He set his face in stone, but still grunted. Then another needle floated up.  Oh no.  He tried his best to stifle his whimper.  This one was a lot quicker and more normal.  She withdrew both needles and sat them down on the tray.  

“Alright, lets give that a few minutes to set up.  I’ll be right back.  Stay here.”  She left the room, leaving Yards alone once again.  His eyes began to droop.  The door opened far sooner than he suspected it would have.  The earth pony nurse came in with some sort of weird pole thing on a cart.  Thing?  Was his brain that defective?

“Please, sir, just rest your chin on this.”  She guided his head over to a rest on the pole.  Then she secured the back of his head with a strap to hold it still.  “Alright, just hang on.  The doctor will be back shortly.”  

No sooner did the nurse leave but the doctor was in front of him.  “It looks like you’re ready, Mr McCanter.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re ready, to go home.”

“Wha? don’t you have to do something to my horn?”

“We’re done already.  The mana neutralizer knocked you out.  I guess you didn’t need the local.”

“What time is it?”

“Almost 11.”

“Oh, crap.”  Yards tried to get up but staggered into the doctor.  “I’ve got to go get my mares.”

Yards stumbled as he got down off the table.  He bumped into the doctor again.  “Sorry.  Wow.”  Vertigo swept through him as he tried to remain on his feet.  The doctor gave him a dirty look.

“Nurse Lemonjello will see you out.”  She turned and opened the door, barked down the corridor then moved to hold the door for the staggering stallion.  Yards made it to the doorway then leaned against the wall.  The nurse showed up behind him with a wheelchair that promptly scooped him up.  

They wheeled him out to the front door and into the fresh air.  Once the earth was under hoof and fresh air filled his head he began to feel better.  He made his way back across the grounds to the psychology building.  The girls were sitting over by a bench.  Toffee was rubbing Starfall’s back in a comforting manner.  Starfall’s body shuddered slightly.  Oh, looks like they were having a moment.  He stopped to catch his breath.  

The mares were setting on a bench outside the entrance to the psychologist.  There was a sapling in a cage that someday would provide shelter.  Not yet, though.  Yards walked down the path, crunching the base rock under his hooves.  Toffee heard him approach.  She wiped at Star’s eyes and refreshed her mane.  She smiled at her friend then up at the stallion.  Toffee seemed to cough slightly.  

“Hey girls.”  Yards gave them ample warming.

Starfall turned around, smiling then coughed also.  Something must be going around.  Her eyes were bloodshot but there was a smile in them.

“How did it go?”  he asked them.

Toffee held up pieces of paper in her wings, while keeping a foreleg around her friend.  “Starfall’s got some prescriptions.  She wants to see both of us on a regular bases so we can work through...what happened.”  Her lips quivered.  

Yards smiled back at the girls.  “Well, we need to get going.  We should catch up with the rest of the group.”

The mares nodded, grinning.

Well, at least they were happier now.  Yards stumbled as he joined the mares.

“Are you okay?”  Starfall asked.

Yards nodded, then regretted it.  His head felt odd.  He could feel his face, but couldn’t feel the air around it.  It was almost like there was a protective layer around his head kind of like when he wore his helmet.  “They gave me a local.  I’m still a little woozy.”
The mares moved to flank him, their feathers rubbing against his sides.  He struggled to maintain composure.  

“‘Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown,’” mumbled Toffee.

“Wha?”

“Nothing.  Where is this place?  I’ve heard about it, but never actually been there.”

“Uh, over on 35th.”  He leaned heavily on them.  His balance still impaired.  

“Are you sure you’re okay?”  Starfall asked for the both of them.

Yards shook his head.  “They had to realign my mana flow, so they completely drained my mana.  So tired.”  They struggled to help support the stallion.  He didn’t mind being pressed up against those feathered wings that much.  To think a couple of years ago having two pegasi mares pressed this firmly against him was just idle, late night fantasy, now here they were, just helping him walk down a street.  “You two are great.  Know that?  No really.”

They giggled.  “If you decree it so.”  Toffee said.  The two tittered together.  

Haysome’s was a Canterlot institution.  It had been there for almost a hundred years.  It all started out as a little hole in the wall at the train station.  It was run by an old unicorn.  He ran it by himself since he didn’t make much money off of it.  One day while really busy he just launched food at his customers using his psychokinesis.  Being unicorns they naturally caught it, but the ridiculousness of the delivery became a novelty that people came to experience.  So the place grew, then there was a national puff piece on it that had been run in a lot of newspapers to fill out a page and soon people came from everywhere across Equestria to have food thrown at them.  Then the war came.   They went from a family focused, generous portioned style restaurant to an upscale, “ponies who could still afford it and special occasions” restaurant.  

There was a short line at the door, as they had gotten there just before the lunch rush.  The outside was painted in a green with yellow trim, the shutters were clean and well maintained.  The door was mostly glass.  

“I’ll duck in and see if everypony else is here,” offered Starfall.  “By your leave,” she curtsied with a grin and ducked through the double doors.  
Yards pressed himself up against Toffee to make up for his lack of support on the other side.  She buckled slightly, but held him up.  “So, it’s your day today?”

She nodded, blushing slightly.  “You know, I’ve always wanted to try this place.”

“Me too.  I figured everypony would enjoy it.”

“So, is there anything you might want to do later?”

“I don’t know, how about something you would enjoy.”  Maybe nice to have a quite night at a bookstore or something.  She smiled.  Alright, that’s one problem down.

Starfall’s head poked back out, “We’ve already got a table, let’s go.”  Yards grabbed the door from her as they cut ahead of ponies who didn’t have a reservation.  They gave them a dirty look but said nothing.  

The inside of the restaurant was dark wood and brass with hunter green cushions.  The place was packed and food floated all through the air.  The rest of the mares were all at an oversized corner booth.  As soon as they saw him they all broke out into broad grins.  Yards slid into the middle of the booth beside Apple.  Toffee came in beside him and then Starfall at the end.  In order to fit all six Yards had to press himself firmly against Apple and Toffee had to put her wing over his and Starfall’s backs while pressing her bare side against Yards’s side.  They all looked at Yards with a barely contained myrth.  

“Well, at least somepony feels pretty.”  Catty said.  That was the poke that finally burst everypony’s resistance.  They all laughed.  Yards rolled his head.  His head smacked the hardwood column behind the booth.  He could feel that his head contacted something, but didn’t feel any pain from doing it.  He giggled to himself and smacked himself a few more times.  

“Yards?” asked Apple.

“He’s under a local anesthetic.  He’s still a little loopy,” Toffee offered for him.

“But he accessorizes so well,” said Catty.

“What?”  Yards still didn’t understand what was going on.

“Your tiara.”

“It’s a mana governor.  I’ve got to wear it for a few months while my horn regrows.”

The waitress came by and handed the new trio menus and asked for drinks.  She smiled at Yards.  “It’s so nice to see some pony so confident that they can be that open.”  She then turned and left.  

“Wha?” asked Yards to the girls.  They just laughed.  

“So, what’s good here?”  asked Apple, changing the subject.

Aurora just scoffed.  “This place is just a tourist rip-off.  It doesn’t matter.”

“Think the oatloaf is as good as yours?” asked Starfall of Apple.

Yards closed his eyes and just enjoyed the physical contact of the two mares.  Toffee ruffled her wings subconsciously, caressing his back.  It was so nice.  Then his face hit something again.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yards woke up in his bed, refreshed and starving.  He yawned and stretched, unsure how he had gotten home.  His nose smelled food.  Looking around his room he found take out containers on the foot locker.  There was a bowl of tepid vegetable soup and a container with green beans, apple sauce, turnip and radish latkes and two of Haysome’s famous giant yeast rolls.  His girls knew him so well.  Quickly the food was devoured.  The latkes were a little soggy from the applesauce and the rolls were steeped in green bean juice but it was all as tasty as he’d hoped.  Now he was just really thirsty.

He slid off of the bed and into the mares’ room.  It was empty.  The door to the bathroom was open and there was music coming through from the other room.  As he walked through the bathroom he heard the girls talking about something he couldn’t quite make out.  Starfall flew past.  He stopped and grabbed a quick drink from the faucet before checking in on the girls.

The other room was roughly the size of the girl’s room and furnished in largely the same way.  The carpet was different.  Newer possibly, but only just.  It was that in between the modern industrial and the shag.  The multi-height effect created a wave like look in the beige flooring.  Yards thought it was called something about a loop, but carpet was never that interesting to him.  

“Yards!” came the call as he emerged from the doorway.  He smiled at the girls.  Aurora and Apple were over by a record player, reading papers, Starfall was pinning things to a map on the wall, Toffee was talking to Catty by the bed over a cardboard box.  

“Sorry, I must have zonked out pretty hard.  They drained my mana and I had...no, I well, I crashed.”

“How’s your face?” asked a worried Apple.

“Okay,” he shrugged.  “Thanks for the order, whoever.  It hit the spot.”

“You’ve been out all afternoon.  I hope you don’t mind, but we started on the case stuff already.”  Toffee held up a manilla folder.
“Pfft, no, not at all.  Have you found anything yet?”

Toffee flew over to where Starfall was and hovered over by her, pointing at the map.  “This is where they’ve attacked.”
“It’s mostly poor and working class neighborhoods.  Places nopony would raise an eyebrow over earth ponies being,” added Aurora.  Yards finally recognized the band playing.  

“Bandage?”

“Yeah,” answered Aurora.

He looked at Apple.  “I didn’t know you liked Bandage.”

Apple blushed slightly and looked away.  “I had a phase.”

Aurora huffed slightly.

“So any similarities?” he asked Toffee, going back to work.  

“Oh, going by the descriptions, it looks like there’s about a dozen or so earth ponies coming and going in groups of around four.  They appear to be some larger group as there’s overlap from time to time.”  Toffee continued her explanations.

Yards nodded.  “Any names or leads?””

Toffee shook her head.  “Nothing obvious.  That’s why we’re going back over the cases, trying to find something more.
Yards sighed.  The girls weren’t really trained for this sort of thing, but at least it wasn’t dangerous.  “So, what do you need me to do?”
Toffee shrugged, “Start reading the files, see if you recognize anything somepony else missed.”  

Yards walked over to the box and grabbed a file, a pencil and a notepad.  Finding a vacant corner he settled down and started reading through the reports.  They were thorough and meticulous.  Sparrowhawk was nothing if not detailed.  He wrung every detail he could out of eyewitnesses.  Too bad witnesses were so unreliable.  When dealing with that much detail errors and inconsistencies quickly came to light.  
Yards started keeping a list of details that were consistent, looking for a common pony.  Then halfway through he got a new idea.  He started looking around at the victims.  Who they were, who employed them, where it happened.  There had to be a pattern somewhere.  Even the best of random generators still defaulted to a pattern.  

Somepony sat down next to him.  “It’s quite a little herd you’ve got here.”

Yards looked up into the umber eyes of Cattywompus.  “Yeaah…You’re not wanting to join in too, are you?”

Catty laughed.  “Goodness no.  I know a trainwreck when I see it.  But Aurora likes you.  She talked about you all night last night.”

Yards groaned.  “And you’re her friend.”

“Of course.”

“And you’re here to warn me.”

“Yup.”

“Look, I promise I’m not looking to hurt anypony or -”

“Oh no, not about that.”

Yards gave her a confused look.  Catty leaned in close enough Yards could smell her sandalwood scented something.  “She’s a crazy bitch.”
Yards just looked at the zebra.  

“I love her like a sister, but she crazy.  I don’t know exactly what happened that made her so desperate and clingy, but you had the misfortune of having the most in common with her of any stallion I’ve seen and you’ve been nice to her.  You’re screwed.”  

Yards pinched the bridge of his muzzle.  “But I didn’t do anything.”

The zebra just grinned at him.  He glanced over at the other unicorn.  She was staring at him.  Nervously she broke into a smile.  Awkwardly, he waved at her.  She quickly buried her face into her file.

“That’s not really helping.”

“I don’t want to be mean.”

“What do you want to do?”

Yards thought about it for a while.  A starving man at a smorgasbord, he wanted them all.  He knew it was absurd.  Knew that it had to rate as one of the dumbest ideas in the history of ever.  All his life he watched other stallions who had no problems with having a mare or two.  But never him.  Why couldn’t it be him?  Because they weren’t mares, they were his friends.  He couldn’t do that to them.  

“I want to not be alone,” he whispered.

“What makes you think you’re alone?”  Her tone and eyes were full of innocence.  If she had said it any other way it would have come off as a sarcastic bitch.  

“I…”  There wasn’t a good explanation.  He knew there wasn’t, but that didn’t keep him from feeling that way.

“When you figure it out, be sure and write a book on it.  You’ll make a fortune and then you can afford more flank than you can handle.  Well, even more than you can’t handle now.”  She winked at him and turned to walk away to talk to Toffee.  

Yards returned to his work until a bored Starfall flopped down on him.  

“Hey, Yards…”

Yards tried hard to not get annoyed at the interruptions.  “Yes?”

“Nothing, just...bored.”

“You could read some of these.”

“Eh, I tried.  Man, why isn’t this more like a movie.  Then somebody would bust in here and there’d be a daring action scene and they’d drop some vital clue that we could follow,” she said with a huff.  

“Yeah, this is how it’s done in the real world.  It’s rather unglamorous, I know.”  

“Hey, thanks for getting me in contact with the shrink,” she whispered into his ear.  He nodded to her, respecting her desire for privacy.  “She, said that, uh, well…” she started pawing at his pencil.  He drowned her out to focus on work.  She’d say more when she was ready.  Right now there was work.  

“Hey, girls,” Yards interrupted what Star was about to say next, “are all of your victims unicorns as well?”

“I didn’t hurt anyone,” offered Catty.  

“The ones in your reports.”

“Oh,” 

“Mine are,” offered Aurora.  

“Mine too,” said Apple.

Toffee was shuffling papers around, double checking.  “Yeah.  Of course, we’re in Canterlot.  There’s a lot of unicorns here.”

“Yeah, but they’re targeting places where earth ponies would be seen.  You’d think that there’d be some sort of accidental damage to an earth pony.”

“You think they’re specifically targeting unicorns?” asked Toffee.

“Like your sister was?” asked Apple.

“My sister?”

“Yeah, she said she was your sister anyway.”

“My sister is what?”

“The ponies that hijacked the train where we met Starfall,” she pointed at the pegasus, “One of them was your sister.  They were upset with me for fraternizing with unicorns.”

“My sister is quarter unicorn, just like me.  Why would she be upset with unicorns?”

“No, she’s three quarters earth pony.”  Apple corrected.  

“Semantics,” Yards waved his hoof.  “Miduri-”

“Said you were too ashamed to go to your grandmother’s funeral.”

“Seafoam is alive.”

“Is that your earth pony one?”

Yards winced.  “No.  When Nanna Winter Melon passed, I wasn’t allowed to go.  I was buried underground in a research facility.  I-I really wanted to go.”

“She said it was because you were ashamed of being part earth pony.  Is that true?”

“I would never say anything like that!”

“What about all that ‘I’m just an earth pony,’ stuff in Mairephis?” asked Starfall.  

Everypony heard the pen drop from Toffee’s mouth onto the pad, roll off the bed then fall to the floor.  Yards grunted.  Starfall looked around unsure why everypony was quiet.  

“I mean, you know, Messer had to give you the whole ‘you’re not an earth pony just because you lost your horn’ thing.  I heard him say something about it to Shining.”

“So, earth ponies are just, what?”  Apple’s voice was a low, threatening growl.

“No, that’s not what it meant.  I’d lost my horn.  I’d forgotten how hard it was doing things without magic.  It was like before I’d started doing magic, when I was…”he tried to stop himself before he said anything too stupid.  Apple wasn’t having any of it.  

“When you were what?”  She glared angrily at him, raising up onto her hooves.  

“When I didn’t have magic.  Look, if you lost a leg things would be a lot harder, right?”

“Oh, so earth ponies are all cripples?”

“No..I-I…”  Yards mind ran desperately to find a way out of this.  

“Yes, you think we are.  If you didn’t you wouldn’t have to find a way to say yes without insulting me.”

Yards reached out for Apple but she slapped away his hoof.  “No.  You think I’m somehow less than you?”  Her voice dropped to an angry hiss.  “Is that why you broke down crying last night?  Are you disappointed?  Am I beneath you?  Were you upset that you couldn’t get anything better than a lame little earth pony?”

“No.”

“Road apples.”  She stomped into the other bedroom.  

“Apple, wait.”  Yards followed after her.  Starfall fell off of him with a thud.  He heard hesitant hooves clacking on the bathroom tile behind him.  Apple was throwing her maid dress into a bag along with a few other personal possessions.  

“I wondered why you didn’t see me.”

“The Princesses ordered me to Mairephis.  I had to save hundred of thousands of ponies.”

“But you couldn’t walk down a flight of stairs and say goodbye?”  

Yards stopped.  His cheeks burned in shame that the thought had never even crossed his mind.  

“I sat in that cell for three days while they processed me.  I was cold, alone, scared.  Did I mention alone?  My daughter had been taken from me by the state.  I didn’t know what had happened to my friends until Toffee and Starfall came down and told me.  I was ecstatic to know that you were all safe.  That the Inquisition didn’t get Delta.  I waited for you to come down.  The stallion I wanted to help me raise my foal.  The stallion I depended on every day to make sure my farm can feed starving ponies.  What am I just a job to you?  Am I really just a cover?  Do you really hate me?”

“NO!  TApple, why would you think that?”

“OOOhhh, OH NO HE DID N’T!”  Yards glared behind behind him.  Cattywampus was in the bathroom, sitting on the vanity, eating popcorn out of a tub.  She made eye contact with him, pumped her foreleg and shouted “WOOO WOOO!”

Apple noticed the mispronunciation of her name.  “Walk me back to the castle.”  She picked up her bag by the handles with her mouth.  “Since I’m not allowed out without my unicorn overlord.”

“Apple!”  Yards glared at her as she walked by.  He trotted to catch up with her as they left the room.  “Look, okay I probably should have come and checked on you.  I’m sorry, but I’d just lost my horn, I wasn’t thinking straight.”

She harrumphed and pointedly looked away from him.  

“I’m sorry.”

“Only that you got caught.  You weren’t even interested in me at all, were you?”

“Yes, I wa-am.  I’m interested.  I’m just…”

“You’re what?  Racists?  An ass?”

No, he was scared.  Overwhelmed.  

“Are you not even going to defend yourself?”  Her tone was more of pain and regret rather than anger.
“I don’t think less of you.  I love you.”

“Road apples.  If you loved me you would have fought the royal sisters to be with me.”

“I petitioned for your release.  I made it a part of me agreeing to help Celestia.”

“So you did think of me, but you didn’t want to see me?  Why?”
Yards could only grunt, trying to come up with some idea why it never occurred to him to go see her.    

“I’m an embarrassment.  That’s why.  You’re ashamed of me.”

“NO!”

“If you didn’t need me you’d never even give me the time of day.”

“I said ‘I love you’.”

“Why?”

“Because...you’re…”

She stopped and looked at him, there was a lot of pain in her eyes.  Yards wished to both princesses he could remove it.  “Because you’re reliable, and supportive.  Because I know I can trust you.”

She started walking off again.  “No.  I mean why did you say ‘I love you’?  You’ve never said that before.  Now in two days you’ve tried to use that twice to get yourself out of trouble.  Do you really think I’m that stupid?”

“No.”

“You do, you think I’m just a stupid earth pony.  What am I good for?  I’m not even good enough for a cheap thrill?”

“Apple!”

“I can’t believe I trusted you.  Do you know what this is going to do to Rhubarb?  Do you even think of her?”  She stopped and looked at Yards.  The pain was turning to anger.  “Is she why?  Do you not want to burdened by someone else foal?”

“It’s not like that.”

She clobbered him once with a swing hard enough to crack a tree trunk.  “You bastard!”

“I’m scared of her!”

“You worthless punk.  How can you call yourself a man?  You’re too scared to step up and be an adult?”

“How would you feel if all of a sudden you were dropped into a hospital and told you were a doctor?  That’s what you’re asking me to do!  You raised her for 10 years.  You know what you’re doing.  I’ve barely known her for a year.”

“She’s eight.  It’s not that hard.”

“Yes it is!”  This was a full fight now.  All the panic he’d bottled up over little Rhu was being vented.  There was no way it could get back to her.  No way for little ears to be on the other side of a closed door that he might hurt.  “You’re asking me to voluntarily put myself into a position where I have every shred of responsibility and absolutely no authority.  It’s the definition of a no-win scenario.  I’m sorry if I’m fruit bat shit terrified of not ‘if’ but ‘when’ I screw up.”

“You’re afraid for her?  I’m her mother I’m terrorfied every day of what could happen to her.  It’s about responsibility. It’s about growing the buck up.  I guess it’s something you just don’t understand.”

“I am responsible for the lives of every freaking pony in Equestria.  I’m responsible for almost every death in Equestria in the last ten years.  I think I know a little something about responsibility.”

“Then why are you too afraid of being responsible for one little girl?  Why are you willing to use her to keep the mother of her you claim to love at hoof’s distance?”

They had arrived at the castle.  The guards did their best to not look like they were paying attention.  It wasn’t the first time a couple had argued at these doors and they wouldn’t be the last.  

Apple Rhubarb looked dead into Yard’s eyes.  “This is your last chance.”  Her hoof was on the handle of the door.  This really was it.  What was he going to do?

“I said it because I do love you.  I was hoping being here with us would give us time to work out the kinks in our relationship so, that when Rhu came home, well, things would be in place.”

“So you were going to just leave her in that school?  You expect me to abandon my child to go frolic with you?”

“No..”

“You’re right, I’m not.”  She opened the door and stomped in.  Just wonderful.

> Going Where now?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yards slowly walked back to the home they were staying in; stopping frequently to look around without seeing the world around him.  He sat in the park and watched ponies go by.  Numb from his fight he tried to figure out his life.  When had he lost control?  He’d always been so good about being in control of his life.  It was measured.  It was ordered.  Slowly his life had been usurped and he no longer felt he had any control.  Was it the military?  Had the otherwise orderly routine made the transition into the hierarchy let him not notice how much autonomy he’d lost?  Was it the mares?  Exploring new areas of his life and fording into areas of unknown, where they causing him to question everything?  Unable to find his answers he made his way back to the once stately manor.

The door to their room was locked.  Oh great.  He walked down the hall to the next door and tried it.  This one wasn’t locked.  He knocked briefly, unsure what was going on or if he even should walk into the room of two strange mares.  The door open and a heavily mascaraed eye looked through the crack.  

“Oh,” Aurora opened the door while announcing “Yards is back.”

Star poked her head out of the bathroom door.  “Hey, we were about to go looking for you.”

Aurora walked into the room, holding the door for Yards..  

Yards walked in behind her.  “Yeah, I was doing some thinking.  I’m a horrible pony.”

“No, you’re not, you had a lot on your mind.  You made a mistake and the old mare got all flank-hurt.”  Aurora blew her bangs back, giving 

Yards a brief glimpse of both of her eyes. Was that a beauty mark or a massacre glob?   

“Hey now,”

“No, she’s right to be upset.  We both know what it’s like to be unable to do normal unicorn things.  We can both relate to why she feels inadequate, but why unduly burden yourself with a mare who’s already had a foal, and...uhm...is quite a bit older.”  She stopped looking at him.  She seemed suddenly very interested with the carpet.  “She…” her voice trailed off as she swallowed hard.  “She’d just be a much better friend...than...marefriend.”  Her usual bravado quickly fell away as she entered the more personal territory.

Starfall raised an eyebrow at the unicorn before looking over at Yards.  “Well.  Aren’t you just the charmer.”

There was a knock at the bathroom door.  Starfall turned around and stuck her head in the bathroom behind it.  There was a tersely whispered conversation before she reemerged and looked at Yards.

“So, Toffee is wondering if you still want to go out.  We waited for a while, but when you didn’t come back for a couple of hours, she wanted to get ready, you know, just in case.”

“Uh…”  It wasn’t really fair not to.  It was Toffee’s turn and she had gone through a lot of troubles.  “I may not be the best of company but if she still wants to go I’ll try and be fun.”

Screw it.  She was the element of Honesty.  It would be best to be honest with her.  He’d already lost the element of Loyalty by not being as loyal as he could have been to her.

The door opened and Toffee stepped out.  She looked amazing.  She had changed her mane style. There were now two pigtails bound with strings of green glass.  A thin braid gathering the rest down the middle of her neck.  She was actually wearing make-up.  The mascara was nowhere near as thick as Aurora’s.  Her lips were a soft pink.  She had a choker with an emerald looking cabochon and ahead of some refined lady.  Her saddle was emerald green with white lace.  The skirt was multilayered and alternating green and white with a white petticoat under it.  Her stockings were a matching green.  Yards lost the ability to talk.

She blushed and rubbed at her forehooves together.  Her martyr’s charm clanked against a bracelet on her other leg.  “So…”

Yards wheezed ineffectually.  “Wow!”  He finally managed.  Aurora snorted.  Toffee blushed deeper.  Starfall grinned.  Catty walked into the room from the bathroom.  

“Hold on, we’ve got to get him cleaned up.”  She ran behind Yards and started to shove him into the bathroom.  “We can’t have you going out there looking like a rag-a-muffin with her at your side.”  She shoved him into the shower stall.  “Hurry!  WOO WOO!” She shouted again.  
He turned on the shower and allowed it to pound down on him.  Oh, what had he done?  Was his team lost now?  What was he going to do?  He was going to try and be fair to Toffee.  She’d gone through some serious trouble to get this together.  It was only fair.  

There was a bang on the shower door.  “Let’s go!  I don’t hear any sudzing in there!”  Catty then walked towards his room.  

Yards grabbed the shampoo and began to clean his mane.  He took time in cleaning his hooves.  They were filthy from all his walking around.  There was a knock at the shower door again.  “You’re outfit is on the vanity.  Hurry up!”

Grumbling Yards turned off the shower.  A towel flew down and wrapped around his head.  He took it and began to dry himself quickly.  As he walked out Catty had the blow-dryer at the ready.  She instantly turned it on as he emerged.  He stood there taking the hot air to the face.  Catty began to work his tangled mess with a brush in her fetlock.  She wasn’t gentle, tugging and yanking she grunted her displeasure at the state of his mane.  “You really need to get a haircut,” she grunted with a mouth full of dryer handle.  

With a final inspection, she turned his head back and forth, making slight adjustments.  Then she sprayed him down with something sticky and foul smelling.  He coughed and she “tisked” at him, readjusting his mane as it sat up.  She glanced down at his hooves and gasped in horror.  “Do you even own a rasp?”  She pulled out a spare and began to chug away at the overgrowth of his hooves.  He looked down at the zebra.

“Kathy?”

“Catty.”

“Oh, sorry.  Catty, was Apple right?”

She grabbed his other hoof and started working it over.  “I don’t know.  I’ve not known her long enough to know how you’ve treated her.”
“What about the rest of it, I mean, I didn’t ask you to buff my hooves.  Why are you doing this?  It’s not because I’m a unicorn, right?”

“Toffee told me she never went to prom.  This is her first real date.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she stood up and got nose to nose with him.  “That’s why you’re going to give her the best night of her life, right?”

“Okay, but how?  I mean, she’s cute.”

“Did you go?”

“With my cousin.”

Catty started to say something then stopped.  “No, that’s so wrong even I can’t make a joke about it.”  She then booped his nose.  “Trust me, Toffee is way more your speed than Aurora.”

“You’re really not going to answer me about Apple, are you?”

“Some lessons have to be lived.”

She let go of his hoof and grabbed the business collar on the vanity and lowered it around his neck.  It was white with a dark green tie. Catty snugged the knot against his throat.  

“There, you’re as handsome as you’re going to get.”  She smacked him on his flank with a grin.  “Go get ‘er.”

Yards walked into the room.  The mares all nodded approvingly.  

“The tiara is still adorable,” whispered Catty.

“It’s not a tiara, it’s a mana governor,” he snapped.  “Well, are you ready?” he asked Toffee.  Toffee nodded her agreement and the two left the room together.  

“We won’t wait up!”  called out Starfall.

“Woo woo!” shouted Catty once again.

They made their way out of the house, turning several heads.  

“So, where are we going?” he asked his date.

“To ‘The Constellation’.”

“Do you know where it is?”  

“Sure.”

“That’s a really nice dress.”  

“Thanks.  Turn here.”  

They walked in quiet for a block.  Unsure what to say to each other.  Finally Yards broached a safe topic.
“So, about the case, do you have any other ideas after…”

“No.”  Toffee didn’t discuss the fight either.  This was supposed to be their time.  “We did go check into all the other cases and the victims were all unicorns.”

“Not even a pegasus?”

“Nope.  Just unicorns.”

The Constellation was just on the edge of the “bad part” of Canterlot.  It was an old theater that had been listed as a historic landmark, but fallen into disuse.  Now it had been reopened as a dinner theater that was ideally located close enough to the bad part of town for street credit for the well to do, but still close enough to a good neighbourhood that the well to do felt safe.  

Yards pulled the door open for his date and watched as she walked into the foyer.  

“Chips, party of two,” she told the maitre d.  The unicorn behind the podium made a show of checking the list.  

“Ah, this way.”  He turned and walked the couple to a table near the stage.  He used his magic to push in Toffee’s cushion as she sat.  
“Thank you,” she said.  He nodded ever so slightly in recognition.  Another unicorn came up to their table, floating a list in front of her.  With a flourish she presented it to Yards.  

“Our wine selection.”

Yards looked over at Toffee.  He knew nothing about wines.  His eyes glazed over at all the foreign words on the paper.  “Uh…” He randomly pointed at one in the middle.  

The wine steward snorted, “Would you like a full or half bottle.”

“Half is fine.”

With barely hidden disdain she turned to fetch their purchase.  

“Which one did you get?”

Yards shrugged.  “Something I couldn’t pronounce.  I’m not that big on wine.”

“Awh, I’m surprised you don’t use knowledge of it to wow women.”

“Nah, I don’t handle alcohol that well.”  

“Really?  No wild parties while you were in boot camp?”  

“Nope, learned my lesson back in high school.”

“That sounds like an interesting story.”  

The steward returned with a bottle and two glasses.  She pulled the cork and poured a little into one of the glasses before presenting it to Yards.  He waited for her to fill it.  She sighed and floated it up to his muzzle.  For what he was paying he better be getting more than that.  Toffee made a “drink it” motion with her hoof.  

He tipped the glass.  It tasted like old grape juice run through a sock.  He coughed slightly, trying to cover it with his left hoof while thumping the table with his right.  “Smooth…” he managed to choke.  Toffee giggled and the steward grinned, despite herself  
She poured the remainder of the bottle into the two glasses then sat them down in front of the couple before bowing ever so slightly and walking away.  

“So, about that story…” Toffee looked at him over her wine glass.  Yards pushed his away.  

“It’s really embarrassing.”  

“Oh, it can’t be that bad.”

Yards sighed.  “Well, I was 15.  I was ‘too old’ to go to the fair, or so I told everypony so they left me there at home.”

“Alone?”

He shook his head.  My older cousin stayed too.  She was at that phase too.”

“The ‘I want to assert my maturity by throwing a tantrum’ phase?”

“Yup.”

Toffee laughed, “When we’re done I’ll tell you a story about when I was that age.”

Yards smiled.  “Good.  Well, uhm, we found the key to grandpa’s liquor cabinet and, well…”

“How bad?”  Toffee winced.

“Well, uh...I don’t remember.  Me and Cotton had to work all fall to replace everything that was gone.”

She laughed.  “Well, it could have been worse.”

Yards looked away.  “yeah,” he whispered.

She perked up and tilted her head.  “It gets worse?”

Yards looked up at the ceiling, blushing hard.  He reached out, trembling and took a chug of his wine.  He coughed again, kicking the table under the table cloth.  

“Okay, how bad was it?”

“Uh, they came back that night.  They...caught...us...”

“Wow, caught drunk by your family.”

“Yeah, ‘drunk’,” he mumbled into his wine glass.

She stopped, looked at him as his eyes opened wonder.  “No.”

Yards finished his wine.

“No.”  Horror spread across her face as she realized what had happened.  Curse it but she was smart.  “You and her...?”
He shook his head.  “I don’t remember.  We weren’t actually...we were…”  His blush turned him purple.  Toffee slammed her head into the table.

“Wow, okay, I’ve got nothing that bad.”  She blushed in sympathy embarrassment.  “When I was a filly, I was a paste eater.”

“eau, you know what that’s made out of?”

“Well, yes, I do now.”

“You’ve tasted…”

She shrugged.  “I was young.  I didn’t know it was made out of animals.”  

Yards shook his head.  

A tray of toasted ravioli was sat down in front of Yards.  He looked up curiously at the waiter.  “I had to order when I made the reservations,” Toffee said.

Yards looked over at her as she ventured closer and reached out with a fork in her wing to pluck one of the pasta pockets and dip it in marinara.  She hesitated for a moment, then offered it to him.  He smiled at her and gently bit down.  The gooey, cheesy, spinachy mass exploded in his mouth.  It was pretty good.  He nodded while he ate.  

She grabbed one for herself and let out a happy squeal as she chewed.  

Slowly the lights grew dim.  A pony in a beret and an overcoat walked out onto the stage.  There was a voice from nowhere announce:  “Ladies and gentlecolts, welcome to the Constellation.  We bring you the comedic stylings of Sam Kindercolt.”

Toffee stomped excitedly.  “He’s funny, I love him.”  They moved closer together so they could both be on the same side of the table to see the comedian.  

Yards was surprised to hear of her love for the foul mouthed comedian.  It seemed like something too coarse for her.  

“Alright, alright.  Thanks everypony.  Thanks, I appreciate it.  It’s good to finally be around people who are happy to be around me for a change.  I was stuck in my hotel room with my wife.  You know I wanted to bring her to Canterlot, do something nice for her.  Right, ‘cause you’ve got to do that, am I right stallions?”  The stallions in the room stomped their agreement.  Yards played along.

“Yeah, that’s right.  do it or NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT!  Oh, you married stallions know what I’m talking about, right?  Those lucky single bastards.  Are there any single stallions out here?”  Yards joined the small collection of hooves going up.  The comedian caught his glance.  “You’re not married to her?” he pointed over at Toffee.

“Uh, no.”

“Ah, is she your marefriend?”

Yards swallowed hard then glanced over at Toffee.

“Uh oh!”  started in the comedian.  “What do you have another one?  Does she know?”

“Three,” said Toffee.

Kindercolt’s eyes grew wide.  “Three?  You and two others or you and three others?”

“There’s four of us.”

Kindercolt shook his head and looked back at Yards.  “Four, really?  What are you a glutton for punishment?  Man, are you deaf?  How do you handle all the nagging?”

“I hide in the barn.”

Everypony laughed.  “That’s okay, there’s a lot of that going around, anypony else here have a herd of mares that wants to admit to it?”
To Yard’s surprise there were several hooves that went up.  Nowhere near a majority, but quite a few.

“Yeah, I’m not surprised.  Now how many of you have lived with them for more than two years?”

They all put their hooves down.

“What I thought.  Me, I’ve been married twice.  Trust me guys, there’s something about that 2 year anniversary that just…” he started laughing to himself.  “You know, you take her to some nice place, like this.  You know.  The whole flowers and sweets and you’re like, ‘Happy Anniversary, honey.  I love you.’  And she smiles and you think, you think ‘oh, this is going to be a great night.’”  He shook his head.  “No.  Oh no. She keeps smiling, then she smiles so big her head starts to split open.  She knows then that her hooks are firmly set into you and she splits open and her true self spews forth.  BOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”

Toffee laughed and nudge Yards with her wing.  He gave a slightly concerned grin.  The waitress took their finished appetizer plates, giving the table a quick wipe to maintain the immaculate table cloth.  

“Then they just reach in,” the comedian extended his hoof, “and rip out your heart and swallow your soul in front of you!  AAAAHHHHH!”  
Next came a couple of pieces of lettuce with a crouton, about half a carrot’s worth of shavings , two slices of Radish and a peppercorn.  They were artfully arranged as a face.  

“Four mares, gez...Well is it true what they say about earth ponies?  Is that why you’re dating him?”  he looked at Toffee.

“From what I hear,” she shouted back, then giggled behind her wing as she looked back at Yards.

“Ah so you two haven’t,” he waved his hoof around, 

“First date,” she answered.  

“Ah, so you don’t know how his tongue skills are yet?”

“Not yet,” she said still behind her wing..   Her whole head was beat red.    

He looked back at Yards.  

“Remember, when you’re back there start working the alphabet.  Drives them crazy.”  He started making exaggerated licking motions.  Everybody started laughing.  “Hey, I’m here to help my fellow stallions here.  Because nopony ever talks about this sort of stuff.  It’s up to us to figure it out.  And we never do.  Well, except Mister Four Mares here,” he waved his hoof at Yards as the rest of the audience laughed.  “Mares, mares aren’t any help either.  They just lay there during it and are all ‘oh, yeah, do it.’  Ladies, that doesn’t help any.  We can’t see down there!  Sure, it’s got a head and an eye but that doesn’t get to our brain!  Say something!”  He started pacing back and forth on the stage.  “You’re all the time telling us we should talk more.  Fine, set the example.  Talk to your stallion.  Tell him what you want done.  Because he doesn’t know.  Nopony tells us.  Not you, not our exes.  Sure you’ll tell that bitch BUTTERCUP BUT YOU WON’T TELL ME WILL YOU?  AAAHHHHH, AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”  He screamed in the face of a mare on the other side of the stage.

“I’M MARRIED!  MY LIFE IS HELL!  KILL ME!”  He ran back to Yards.  “SAVE YOURSELF!  DON’T MARRY THEM!”

The comedian carried on as Toffee stretched her wing over Yard’s back.  Oh Luna why was a pegasus’s feathers so soft?  He loved the feeling of them on his body.  He leaned into her.  She responded in kind.  It was so great to feel her body against him.  The soft fabric of her dress brushed against his side as she laughed at the closing jokes.  

Her body was so soft.  She wasn’t nearly as developed as Rhu was.  She wasn’t completely fluff, either.  It was like a comfy mattress.  Just enough softness to make snuggling with her seem like an awesome idea.  He could feel his head growing fuzzy.  He reached up and booped her nose.  She giggled and smiled up at him.  They leaned in and kissed.  He slipped her some tongue which caught her by surprise.  She pulled away and gave him a crafty smile.

“Well, somepony’s finally feeling foreword.”  

“It’s feeling those wings.”  He leaned in and kissed her again.  This time she accepted him inside her as he ran his tongue across her vomeronasal organ.  There was a polite cough at the edge of the table.  

They broke off their kiss and saw their waitress holding two plates.  “Eggplant alfredo?” asked the waitress.

Toffee raised her hoof.  Yards moved his hoof down her back to her flank.  Her eyes bulged quickly as she looked over at him with a “behave yourself” look.

He grinned back at her as the waitress placed a plate of penne pasta covered in a red, semi-transparent sauce that looked suspiciously to Yards like hydraulic fluid.  

“I know you like some spicy things, but I wasn’t sure about if this is too hot.”

“You picked it out.  I’m sure it’s fine.  Is that peanuts in there?”  

“I don’t know.”

The voice from nowhere returned.  “And now with your entree, a scene from ‘Death of a Dream’ enjoy your evening.”  Four mares came out onto stage, dressed as the Martyr and the Three Princesses.  This was a retelling of the martyrdom of Twilight Sparkle.  He should have known she would have wanted to see this.  That girl playing Twilight was cute.  Bah, he had enough flank.  He had an amazing mare at his side right now.  She wanted to be with him.  Not just now but forever.  

He leaned in and nuzzled her mane.  Gently he whispered into her ear.  “You’re great.”

She smiled, warm and genuine.  

“No really.  I mean it. You’re cute, and smart.  I love your wings.  They’re so soft.  You’re just amazing.”  His hoof returned to her flank.
She pushed it off with her wing.  “This is a first date, if you think you’re getting anything, especially if you keep this up, you’re greatly mistaken.  Now shush and watch the show.”

Yards tried to clear his head and munched on his pasta.  It was spicier than what he would have liked and he was in desperate need for this woman beside him.  He wrapped his foreleg around her shoulder.  She blocked his leg from going lower with her wings.  

“Toffee, I love you,” he said, sweating and with a mouth full of food.  

Her only reaction was a smile that wouldn’t go away.  

“Hey, I through Celestia wasn’t there when it happened.”

“Shhhh.”  She looked up at him with some annoyance.

He cleaned his plate with military precision.  He then gulped down the water they’d brought him with his spicy entree.  Tomorrow would haunt him.  

He looked over at his date as she slowly chewed and watched the princesses pontificate on freedom vs responsibility.  He found it rather heavy hoofed.  Of course this was the Solari capital so the Princess was portrayed as overly naive and easily manipulated by an emerging Chrysalis.  Lunari were rash, emotional or sexual deviants.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  He’d heard it for the last 10 years.  This was nothing that interesting.  

Toffee’s neckline, however, was far more interesting.  He nuzzled her mane and nipped at her spine.  She flinched. Those, ears, so small, so delicate, so...delightfully fuzzy.  He nibbled them.  She allowed him to while she took a bite of her eggplant.  He nuzzled her again then rested his chin between her ears.  

He could feel the slow rhythm of her eating.  “Whatever happened to Cadence?” he asked the librarian.

“Shhh.”

They watched as Twilight and Cadence sought to mediate between the sisters.  Of course in this versions idea of “mediating” was done by reminding the Princess of her past mistakes and lapses of judgment and reminding Celestia of her magnanimous gestures.  Magnanimous...stupid Trixie.  Stupid slut-whore cutting off his horn.  He pulled away slightly from his date.  There were a few red lacquered helmets here.  Damned Inquisition.  They could go straight to Tartarus.  

He noticed the final course was being wheeled out.  Small little bowls of something.  Then they’d pour something on it.  Nopony was eating it though.  Finally they brought two to their table.  It was some sort of something in a ceramic bowl.  They ladled some sort of fruity smelling something over the top.  One of the staff stood by their table.  

“I’m full if you want mine,” she whispered.  

“What is it?”  

“Uh, creme brulee with a Grand Marenier sauce.”

“What’s Grand Marenier?”

“It’s…orange flavored.  Shhh.”  Her attention was back on the story.  They were getting to a “good part.”  Twilight was making her big plea for friendship when suddenly she fell over, taken by the sniper’s round.  The lights went down and slowly all the desserts were lit, providing an intimate light.  The actress playing Celestia created a ball of light and started going on about how the fire of friendship should never be extinguished despite the arguments that may come.  Well, that was a nice display of detente.  

The lights came back on and the desserts were extinguished.  The sauce had hardened onto the dessert to create a crust.  Soft music began to play and the performers began to mingle with the crowd.  Yards disengaged from Toffee and tried a spoonful of the mystery food.  It tasted a lot like a creamsicle.  The crunchy top was kind of like the shell on ice cream, protecting the sweet goodness underneath.  He quickly scarfed down both servings.  His belly was protesting slightly, but he’d deemed them good.

Toffee smiled at him.  “Were they that good?”

He nodded.  “What now?”

“Well...I don’t know.  Maybe a walk, or, if you’re ready…”

She was demuring down.  It was her way of doing things.  Give him an easy opening and let him have enough lead to let him think he was in charge.  Oh Luna, how he loved this mare.  He rose and immediately regretted it.  He stumbled into the table.  Toffee’s smile turned into a grin.  

“Are you okay?”  she asked as she rose to her hooves.

“Yeah, just legs asleep.  I guess.”  He put down several bits on the table for a tip and waved for Toffee to come with him.  They walked out side by side, curling their tails together.  

Toffee gave him a concerned look.  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

He grinned down at her.  “Of course.  Why?”

“You’re staggering.”  

“That’s ridiculous.”

“You’re slurring...are you drunk?”

“No.”

She snickered.  “You are.  That explains why you’re getting so fresh, doesn’t it.”  

“Nah.”

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.”  They walked through the doors into the refreshing night air.

“Sweet.”

She gave him a look.  “I’m not going to do that to you.”  

He nuzzled her and pulled at one of her pigtails.  As one they turned back to their home.  

“Did you enjoy tonight?” he asked her.

“Yeah.  It was fun.  What did you think?  I mean I know you weren’t paying that much attention to the play.”

“I enjoyed being with you.”

She “awed” and pushed feebly at his side.  It made him feel so strong.  He gently checked back and she had to take several steps to regain her balance.  “Hey!”

He smiled back and once more walked beside her, reentwining their tails.  

“So.  Do you really love me, or is it just the wine?”

“No, I told you I love you.”  

She grinned from ear to ear.  “Do...do…”  She looked away.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“And you think I’m drunk?  At least I can finish my sentences.”

She looked away.  “It’s just something I read about once.  I...was curious.”

“Is this something you want to do together?”

She nodded, refusing to look at him.

“Wanna do it tonight?”  

“You’re drunk.  It wouldn’t be right.”

“So?  I’m not drunk.  We could do it before we get home.”

She sighed and then he realized.  “Oh, you mean, sometime when we’re together, together.”

“Yards, it wouldn’t just be sex, would it?  I mean, we’d be a real couple, right?”

“Okay.”

“Okay is not a correct answer.  It’s a yes or no question.”  She looked up at him, locking her gaze onto his.

‘Uhm, yes.”

“Really?  You’re not just saying it?”

“No, er, yes, uh.  If we were together then we’d totally be a couple.  Wait,” he tried to cut off her hurt look, “You’re saying you want to wait until we’re a couple?”

“Well, yeah.  I waited 24 years, I can wait a little longer, I suppose.”  She seemed slightly upset.  “I just want it to be like in the books.  The two of us, a happily ever after.”

“Like a couple foals and a white, picket fence?”

“Would it be so bad?”

“Nah.  Where would we live?”

“Hmm?”

“Well, I don’t think your little cottage behind the library would be big enough.  Plus all my stuff is over at Sweet Apple.  Hey, wanna live under it in the base?”

She laughed.  “We could hire Delta to clean it.”

“She does work cheap.  Though you might have to share some of your kisses.”

Toffee scowled.  “I’m sorry about her, let’s not discuss it.”

“Okay.  Wanna make out in the park?”

She laughed.  “You are incorrigible when you’re drunk.”

“I’m not drunk.”

She stopped at the park and sat down on a swing.  Softly she rocked aimlessly.  

Yards really did love this mare.  The problem was he also loved Apple.  Even after their fight.  He was so comfortable with her.  He just didn’t understand why he couldn’t the other night.  Well, technically that was last night.  Toffee wanted to wait until he picked her to have sex.  He could respect that.  It just meant that if he wanted any tonight then he’d have to say goodbye to Apple.  That would be wrong after their fight.  He’d want to at least say goodbye to her.  She deserved that.  

Yards stood in front of Toffee and gently pushed her.  As she came back he matched her speed and gave her a quick kiss before sending her off again.  When she returned she stuck her head out to claim her kiss.  They smiled and he pushed her a few more minutes on the swing.  She opened her wings slightly, catching the breeze and smiling.  

“Wanna do something you enjoy?” she asked him.  

He grabbed the chains and stopped her movement.  “Like what?”  

“I hear you’re really good a preening.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“And you’ve got some natural talent at imping?”

“I guess.”

“Well, I’ve always wanted rainbow extensions.  It’s really expensive to get done, though.  If someone could do the labor for me, maybe…”
“Rainbow extensions?”

“Some pegasi sell their feathers.  They make them into extensions.for those of us who’d like longer wings.  They sell them in different colors, and sometimes they have feathers left over and sell rainbow sets.  I’ve always wanted beautiful wings.”

“Your wings are beautiful.”

She smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss.  “Thanks, but they’re small, and my coloration is so...dull.  I just want to feel pretty.”

“I can’t have such a beautiful mare thinking she’s not pretty.  I mean, who won the wet mane contest at Marephis?”

She harumphed.  “Only because I kissed Starfall.”

“The crowd was behind you even before then.  Come on, I’ll gratefully nuzzle your wings for a few hours.”

She smiled.  “Thanks.  Wanna go home?”

Yards nodded.  They made their way back to their suite.  The other girls were out which was fine with them.  “Let me go change and I’ll see you in your room.  Okay?”

Yards nodded and headed off to his room.  He took off his collar and tossed it into the foot locker.  Eagerly he jumped onto his bed and rolled to the edge.  Maybe he could talk her into something even if she didn’t want to go ‘all the way.’

Half past eternity she opened the door to his room.  She was carrying a blanket wrapped parcel in her mouth.  As she walked through Yards gulped hard.  She’d changed clothes, now wearing a simple white lace vest and matching stockings.  Her mane was pulled into a simple ponytail and secured at both top and bottom.  She sat the blanket down in the middle of the small space on his floor.  Inside the bundle was a mother of pearl box shaped a lot like the one Starfall had had, a squirt bottle, a bag of feathers and a bag of candy corn.  She settled down into the middle of the blanket.

“Is this where you want me?” she asked somewhat self consciously.  

Yards bit back the first three things that came to his mind.  “Extend your wing.”  She had to scoot over to fully extend her wing.  
Yards began to hungrily nuzzle at her feathers.   She closed her eyes and allowed him to ravish her wing.  Softly she gasped.  “Okay, wow.  That’s way different than when they do it at the spa.”  Softly she leaned into him, grunting quietly.  Yards came up for air and to spit out a downy feather.  She offered him the spray bottle.  “It works better when they’re wet.  It’s why we usually do it in the shower.”

With some difficulty Yards got the bottle to pump a mist of water over her wing.  Then, pulling the feathers back, sprayed the downy bits of her afterfeather.  With a little more care he worked his lips around each of her feathers in turn and kissed them softly.  She squealed at his attentions.  

“Wanna roll over so I can do your front?”

She folded her wing to her side and rolled against the bed.  She spread her wing along the floor.  Gravity pulled her pelvis apart, almost beckoning.  Yards swallowed hard as he closed his eyes and buried his muzzle into her feathers.  She squealed and held his head in one spot.  “There, get more of the muscle there.”Yards shifted the attention of his lips from feathered shafts to knotted muscles.  Occasionally she would grunt in satisfaction as Yards got her overworked muscles to relax.  

Finally he stretched his neck, giving it a good shake.  “So, should we start with the imping, or do your other wing.”  She gave him a satisfied smile.  

“Yards,” she reached out for his chin.  “You keep saying that you’re not drunk.  Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, I drank that hours ago.  I should be fine by now.”  

Behind her eyes was a war of desire and integrity.  She wanted him as badly as he wanted her.  Carefully he stepped over her torso.  Her hoof slid up his jaw, then down his neck.  She folded her forehooves in supplication.  

“This is a weird position.  Is it another one of those things you read about?”

She closed her eyes and nodded.  “It’s a pegasi thing.  Yards…”  Her face scrunched up before her back hooves came to rest on his hips.  The feel of the fabric wrapped limbs around his body set him on fire..  “Swear you can make this decision.”  

By way of answering Yards leaned in and kissed her.  He could feel her lace scratching his chest.  She picked her hips up into the air, bringing herself into alignment with his body.  

She was so smart.  They both had no experience. Yet she’d researched this thoroughly.  He’d been distracted with so many other things.  Maybe this was right.  Maybe he should dedicate himself to one thing and one mare.  He was so busy trying to be responsible for all of them.  Maybe he should just not become an elemental.  Maybe he should just do what he’d always done.  Take care of a base.  

Sure Toffee could go off and be an elemental.  Heck, he could even teach her everything he’d learned in the military.  Sure it wasn’t much.  But at least with her love of learning she could use her knowledge to keep the other mares safe.  He’d just stay home.  Focus on being a logistical end.  Take care of a house, a job, a mare when she was home.  He looked back down at the mare under him.  So smart.  So cute.  Too bad she didn’t have enough self confidence to fully realize her potential.  

He just stood there and stared down at her, unable to do anything else.  He wanted to.  He wanted it so badly, but his body just didn’t respond.  He wanted this mare.  Wanted her physically.  Wanted her to be happy,  Wanted her to feel fulfilled.  Yet, all he could do was stand over her.  

“Yards?” she asked him quizzically.

The door to the other room burst open.  “Hey you guys!” shouted Catty.  Oh thank Luna.  Yards jumped off Toffee as she let go of him and rolled to her hooves.  

As the pair came out of his room they saw Catty and Aurora were holding a shaken Starfall.

“What happened?” asked Yards.

Catty just shook her head while Aurora answered.  “We went for some frozen yogurt.  She started screaming and zoned out.  I don’t know why.”

“What kind of yogurt,” Toffee asked.

“Wow, hey, we weren’t interrupting anything, were we?” asked Catty.  

Yards looked at Starfall.  She was crying hard.  Yards went into the bathroom and got her something to blow her nose with.  
As he came out, Toffee had a foreleg around Starfall’s neck, talking quietly with her.  Yards walked over and handed her a tissue.  She wiped at her face.

“There was grape yogurt there,” Toffee told him without looking up.  Yards nodded.  It was a flashback to what had happened to her.  Yards came along side her and hugged her as well.

“Should we take her to the hospital?”  

Starfall squeaked.  

“Let’s give it a few minutes.  The doctor said it might happen.”  Toffee walked away from her friend and to the dresser in the room.  She fished around in a drawer and came up with a bottle.  “Water,” she said to the assembled group.  Catty disappeared to the bathroom while Toffee pour a pill into her hoof.  She offered it up to her friend as the zebra returned with a drink for her.  Yards took the water and helped her slowly drink it.  Yards and Toffee were mumbling softly to her while gently rubbing her neck and back, trying to help her calm down.  

Slowly her breathing returned to normal.  

“Are you okay?” Toffee asked.

Starfall nodded.  “I’m sorry, everypony.  I didn’t mean to interrupt you two.”  She looked over at Toffee’s outfit.

“He was going to imp my wings.  I was covering myself incase he got glue everywhere accidently.”  

“Right, ‘glue’ everywhere.”  Catty’s voice made it clear the other three didn’t buy her excuse either.  

“Stallions can get their ‘glue’ everywhere.  It helps if you can direct it somewhere.”  Starfall smirked at her friend.

“Well, that was enough excitement for me for one day.  I’m going to my room.”  Aurora walked off through the bathroom.

“Since I’m not interested in ‘group’ activities, I’m going to leave you three to your own devices as well.”  Catty smiled then turned away to follow her fellow STARE member.  She glance back over her shoulder and pumped her forehoof twice before disappearing into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.  

“Well, I don’t know about a ‘group’ activity tonight, but if you two want to go back to what you’re doing, I think I’m okay.”

“Nonsense.  You just had a major emotional fit.  Come, lay down on the bed.”  Toffee walked over and turned the sheets down.  “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll go ahead and take this all off.”  She walked over to the dresser and began to roll her stockings down.  

Yards walked over and picked up Starfall’s bee off the floor as she settled down onto the bed.  She took it from him and gave him a look, getting his attention off of Toffee’s rump.

“If you want, you can go ahead.  I’ll go to the other room.  I’m just, not in the mood to join in.”

“No, no, no, it’s fine.  Wait, what?”  He looked her square in her eyes.  Starfall shrugged.  “Uhm,” Yards desperately did his best to ignore what had been said.  “Toffee wants to wait until we’re, together before we’re, uhm, together.”

Starfall gave him a genuine smile.  “That’s so sweet.”  She looked over at the pegasus climbing into the bed.  Toffee just shrugged.  Star rested her chin on her bee.  “Thanks guys.  It’s great that you would do something like this for me.”  Yards sighed and jumped up onto the bed beside Starfall, bracketing her in between two friends.  Resigning himself to another evening of wing buffeting, he laid down on his side, his hooves dangling off the side of the bed.  When he finally got back to Sweet Apple Acres he was going to have to make a bigger bed.  
> Apple Fretters
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, wonder what she’s serving up?” whispered one of the guards to his friend.  The two guards were in line at their commissary.  There were a lot of ponies to feed at the castle.  And that was Apple’s job:  Feed the ponies.  Absently she flipped the eggs on the large griddle in front of her.  

The braver of the guards floated his tray above him as he reared up onto the sneeze guard.  “Morning, Sunshine, what ‘cha got?”  He wasn’t wearing his helmet, but he did have on enough of his Solari uniform that his color had been washed out into a stock white.  

“Eggs,” she said simply through her spatula.  She began to try and guess which line he would take ‘over and over hard’ or the ever popular ‘fertilized.’  Pfft, like stallions ever had to deal with fertilized eggs.  Why would they even think that was clever?  

“How about fun side up?”

She exhaled the breath she was holding in.  At least that line and that type weren't as common.  Cracking a pair of fresh eggs, she poured extra butter onto the griddle.  Expertly she corralled the whites into a smaller package.  As the butter grew hot she flipped it over onto the top of the eggs, cooking the top as well as the bottom.  A quick dash of her special blend of seasoned salt and she scooped them onto a small plate.  He winked at her as he walked away.  

“Over and over, medium.”  She rolled her eyes and flipped a pair of eggs onto a plate.  

“They’re really bad today.”  The mare beside her ladled the pancake batter onto a further section of the griddle.  She too was an earth pony, with pastel pink and white striped hair hidden under a net.  Her light teal coat was hidden behind her maid’s uniform.  Her cutie mark was a whisk and spatula in an “X” formation.  

Apple slid two more eggs onto a plate and handed it to the next guard.  “They just want to string you along.  Then when you’re ready to be serious, they drop you.  Because you’re not able to float stuff around your head.”  She shoved another plate out onto a waiting tray.  
“That sounds like a broken heart talking.”  Her co-worker handed out a short stack before flipping the pancakes on the griddle.  
Apple smiled sadly over to the lunch lady.  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring you down.”  She took the order for the next two ponies and started cracking eggs.

“I understand,” the pony said.  “You aren’t the only one they’ve used for a cheap thrill and tossed away when they didn’t want to deal with you anymore, you know, once they’ve saddled you with the consequences.”

Apple chuckled.  “I didn’t even get that.”  She ran a wire brush across her portion of the grill.  “They just used me.  They needed a place to stay, and my cooking.”  She put the brush back in its holder.  “I don’t know how I’m going to explain this to Rhu.  She really liked him.”

“Rhu?”

“My daughter.”

“Was it his?”

Apple blinked back the tears as she started cooking more eggs for the next wave of hungry ponies.  “I was going to ask him to be her dad.  She deserves one.”

“Your first husband died?” 

Apple nodded while brushing butter on the griddle.

“I’m sorry.  So, the stallion that used you-Thank you.  Butter is over there.”  She nodded to the chilled bucket of butter pats for the guard.  “This new jerk, he’s a unicorn?  You said something about moving something with your mind.”

Apple nodded.  “I’m out of eggs, I’ve got to go get some more real quick.”  She grabbed her little metal cart and pushed it back into the prep area.  The pony there swapped her and Apple returned to the front. Her co-worker was flipping things at both stations.  The line had slowed down, but not stopped.  Apple quickly resumed her spot and the two sprinted to get back to a regular flow.  

“So, your, ex, he’s a unicorn?”  Her co-worker asked her again after they’d caught up.

“Yeah, well, uh I…” she began to paw at one back leg with the other in embarrassment.  

“You still love him, even after he admitted to using you?”

“He didn’t.  I mean, he didn’t admit it.  He-”

“Excuse me.”  A pony pushing a cart of hot trays walked by on her way to the front of the line.

“Sure,” they both mumbled, getting out of the way.

Apple used the interruption to organize her thoughts a little better.  “He’s only a quarter unicorn, but he has his horn.  Well, he had his horn until it was cut off.”  Her eyes widened as Apple said it.

“Did it hurt him?”

Apple nodded.  “From what I heard, there was blood everywhere.”  There was a strange look in her eye that Apple couldn’t read.  “One of our friends then told me about how he was whining to her about ‘just being an earth pony’.”  

The pancake cook visibly flinched.  

“Yeah.”  They worked in silence for several minutes.  

“So what are you going to do?”

Apple only shrugged.  “I don’t know.  I can’t let my daughter grow up with somepony that thinks she’s ‘just an earth pony.’”
Her co-worker just shook her head.  “No, you can’t.  If, so, what.  Look, I might know some ponies that would be willing to help support you in this horrible time.”

Apple raised an eyebrow.  “Thanks, but I’m not sure what I’m going to do.”

“Don’t let that unicorn ruin the life of you and your daughter.  You need to get away from him.”

Apple sighed.  “I don’t know...I, I don’t know.”

“Well, just come and meet my friends.  You’re not the only one in this situation.  After he knocked me up, my unicorn left me too.”

“Are you going to keep it?”

It was her new friend’s turn to sigh.  “Yeah, I think so.”

“You’re not showing yet, how long do you have to make up your mind?”

“Another two hundred days.”

“So, if I can ask, what are you waiting for?”

She fidgeted with the pancakes, making them as round a possible.  “I just want to make sure if it’s going to be normal.”  

“Well, the longer you wait, the more it’s going to hurt.”

“I know…”

The breakfast rush was finally over.  They started to clean their stations.

“I’m Apple, by the way.”

“I’m Flipper.”

“Excuse me, are we too late?”  

Apple looked up to see three more stallions.  A unicorn with two pegasi.  She racked her brain.  They looked really familiar.
“Just missed it,” said Flipper putting her stuff on her cart.

“But for your highness…,” Apple corrected.  Flipper looked up in confusion at the trio.

“Oh please, there’s no need for that.  We’ll just go hit up the cold cereal.” 

“Awh,” said the red pegasus.  What was his name?  Apple couldn’t remember.  She was pretty sure the other one, the one with the prosthetic wings, was Messer, hero of the Solari.  

“I’ve still got the eggs here if you fellas want them.”

Messer looked square into her eyes.  She could see recognition glint quickly.  “Heard from Catty?”  

Shining turned to look at the large pegasus.  Apple started frying up eggs for them.

“Catty?  Oh no.  Yards has to deal with her now.  Poor bastard.”

“I’m telling you, she only does it because she likes you,” teased the red pegasus.

“I’m married.  Why do you keep trying to get me to go out with her?”

“Frankly it’d do the two of you good. Besides, maybe you could take a page out of Yard’s book.  He’s got to be doing something right, keepin’ all those mare’s happy.”

Shining laughed as they walked away.  “Yards?  Know something about making mare’s happy?  I was his first CO here in the castle.  I’ve seen how he interacts with mares.  They’re the only thing that truly scares him.”  

That caught Apple’s attention.  Somepony who’d known Yards for a long time?  That could be interesting.  What would he know?  Wait...why should she care about some stallion she wasn’t going to be around anymore.  Was she?  

“I’m going to go help them bus the tables.”  Apple told Flipper.  

“Alright I’ll sweep up your station for you.”

“Thanks.”

“Good luck.”

Apple rolled her eyes.  This wasn’t her first time working the commissary.  She knew what horrors awaited her.  

The cold cereal island was an island surrounded by a milk moat with tiny arapelligo’s of cereal starting on the counter and ending on the floor about four feet away.  The Toaster had three pieces of burnt toast just sitting in front of it, crumbs were scattered along the entire length of the counter.  Next to it, the sunken in tubes of oatmeal were encrusted over with over cooked mash.  There was half eaten food smeared everywhere around the dishes just left there on their tables.  All in all, it looked like a pretty light day.

She started with gathering the trays.  There were a few stallions besides the Prince's entourage, though they were slowly filtering out.  As she gathered the half empty trays and brought them over to the bus window she left Shining Armor’s table for last.  It was courtesy.  They had just started eating, after all.  Apple wiped down the nearby tables, doing her best to listen without being nosey.

There was a lot of sports talk, and questions about a new chariot.  Nothing really useful.

“Excuse me, Mrs. Rhubarb.”  Shining gently touched her shoulder.  

“I’m so sorry your Royal Highness.”

Shining laughed.  “Please, Shining will do.  After all, we could be working together very soon.”

“What?”

“Well, the Princesses got the idea to start mixing the groups.  That way we would have the best possible chance of getting a full set of elements.  It’s part of why Catty and Aurora are working with Yards to see how well they jell.”

“Speaking of, is there any mixed fruit jelly left over?” the red pegasus asked.  

“Let me check,” automatically she curtsied to the monarch and ran over to the toaster to pick up a few pats of jelly.  “Here you go.”

“Thanks.”  He took the packets from her and started spreading the flavorful paste over the remnants of his toast.  

“Anyway, I just wanted to apologize to you for not recognizing you.  I don’t think we’ve ever had a chance to talk.”

“No, your High-Shining.”

He gave her a warm smile.  He waved for her to sit beside him.  The red pegasus moved to give her his seat.

“Do you know Messer and Astro Rey?” he motioned to his companions.

Her eyes started to panic slightly.  That’s where she knew that red pegasus!  He had been the one to arrest her and take away Rhubarb Salad.  His coat had been washed out because he was in his barding.  Well, it would be fitting that he would have two of the biggest heros of the war at his side.

“Would it help if I apologized?” offered Astro.  

“It’s a start.”

“Hey, boss, why don’t I go take her to see her daughter.  I’m sure she’d love to go see her.”

Apple squealed despite herself.  Really?  They would do that for her?  Adquardly, she stopped clapping her hooves.  They smiled at each other.  “Alright, Astro, me and Messer will work on chasing down that lead.”

They had a case?  He was going to take time out for her?  This was just too good to be true.  

“When are you off duty?”

“Well, I’ve got an hour once I get all this cleaned up.”  The stallions were already at work, wiping and cleaning.  

“I’ll send a message to the lieutenants to address this issue with their men.  We’ll see if they can’t respect this area better.”

“Why, thank you.”

“If you’re ready,” Astro held out his fetlock overtly.  

Apple giggled, pushed it down in recognition and came along parallel.  

“You don’t need to change or anything?”

“I don’t have time.”

“Well, in that case,” he wrapped his forelegs around her and she squealed.  He took off to the skylight and pushed the button opening it, giving them instant access to the outside.  His wings pumped the air around him as he took off from the courtyard to the West.  Apple clung to him in terror.  It felt like the wind would strip him away from her and she would plummet far to her death.  Those strong arms held her in a soft vice that kept her safe.  

“So, do you often sweep a girl off her feet like this?”

He looked down in confusion.  “WHAT?!”

Apple shook her head.  Any conversation would be lost at his terrific speed.  Soon they were coming down to a complex.  There was a wrought iron fence encircling a series of marble buildings.  She could see movement that as the distance shrank became foals.  
Astro broke hard and spun her as he let go, she twirled awkwardly as she squawked, landing in a splayed pile.  There was a slight chuckle as Astro landed perfectly on his hooves behind her.  A small crowd began to gather around.  
There were two adults leading the way.  They were both unicorns.  One was a stately beauty.  She was at least 10 years older than Apple.  Her purple locks were well dyed to hide her true age.  The alabaster coat was well tended to.  Thick rimmed glasses hid the early stages of crow’s feet.  A shawl draped hat rode at the top of her head.  Her dress was busy, but in an industrious way.  It was a celebration of color and form that flowed in the summer breezes.  

The other unicorn shared the older’s coat color.  She was wearing a black tutu with ripped black stockings.  A black concert tunic for a band was emblazoned on the front.   Chained to the Plow.  That was that band Aurora and Yards were talking about.

“Yes, can I help you?” asked Rarity.

“Uh, I’m here to see my daughter?”

“And what would her name be?”  She looked over at her assistant as she pulled out a clipboard.  

“Rhubarb Salad.”

“OH!”  The professional smile disappeared to be replaced with a genuine, warm smile “You must be the Apple!  Any member of the Apple family is certainly welcome here.  Do come inside I believe we have much to discuss.”

“Thanks, but I just have time to see my daughter.”

“Oh, I’m sure she’s around here somewhere, Cocco?”

The earth pony assistant in the impeccable suit checked her clipboard.  

“She’s in the Crusaders Club.  They’re meeting right now.”  

The other unicorn smiled fondly.  “Ah, those were the days.”

“Crusaders, do we know what activities they’re preforming today?”

Coco just shrugged.  “You know how it is with those fillies.”

The two unicorns laughed.  “Knowing them they could drop from the sky at any time.”  Rarity glanced up to check her comedic timing.  Pouting slightly, she seemed disappointed when they didn’t materialize.  “Well, I’m sure they can’t have gone far, please come this way.”

There were several little knots of children at play.  They were all fillies of various ages.  They wore a blue skirt with a simple white blouse.  Most of the knots had the same colored scarf, bandana or cape, though there was some intermixing.

“Uniforms?” Apple asked.

“The simple white blouses are easy to clean with bleach and hot water.  Each club or team has their own heraldic livery that they are free to wear.”

Apple nodded, not sure what else to do.  

“Well, I’m sure we can find your daughter in no time, would you and your, ahem, handsome friend like a tour?”

Astro looked behind him, wary of a cougar on the hunt.  Rarity saddled up beside him as they began to walk around the complex.  “This is our languages building.  Here the girls master not only Equestiran, but also French, Griffonese, and even Arabian.”

They walked over to the next building.  The grasses were well manicured and while there was a bite missing here and there, they were consistent.  The girls were apparently well fed at the very least.  

“This impressive structure is our sciences building.  Here we teach the girls the mysteries of the universe and...celestial bodies.”  She goosed Astro with a back hoof.  He grunted and started to sweat.  

“There are so many things for a filly to learn,  poise, logic, impeccable fashion sense.  They learn it -”

“Quit cheatin’!” shouted a shrill child.

There was a grunt followed by a pained attempt at being casual.  “If you can use your strength then I get to us my magic.”

“Put me down!” cried out the first voice again.  Apple knew that voice.  There was no way a mother couldn’t know her baby.  

“Rhubarb!”  Apple sprinted around the corner of the building.  Her baby was hanging in midair, surrounded by some unicorn fillies.  With a great crashing hug she scooped up her precious.  “Rhubarb!” she cried again.

The filly squirmed in her forelegs.  “Momma?”  Her hug was returned.  “Momma!”  

“Oh my baby,”

“Momma!”  Their tears mingled into one steady stream as the two earth ponies held each other.  

The adults quickly caught up and looked on with “awwhs.”  

“I didn’t know you were a family man.”  Rarity bumped into Astro.

“Well...I wouldn’t say that, but you know...it’s so sweet.”  He was turning even redder.

“You know, I will make your rethink your ‘no mares’ policy.”  She slid right up to his face, placing her hoof against his chest.  Somewhere a wild cat roared.  Nervously he looked down.

“No means no!”  He fled off into the air.

Rarity hungrily watched the hero fly away.  “I always accept a challenge.  Oh, our fates are intertwined, my hawk, someday we will be fettered.  

“You can let go nauw.”  Little Rhu had become aware of the snickering of the other fillies.  

Apple gave her one last tight hug then sat her hooves back onto the grass.  “Oh my, I’ve made a mess…” Apple began to wipe at Rhubarb’s face with her pinafore.  The crowd giggled at her misfortune.  

“Mooom!”

“I’m sorry, dear.  Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“So, how’s school?”

“Okay.”

“Are you doing well in classes?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you have any friends?”

Rhu nodded.

“Where’s your room?”

Rhu pointed with her hoof.  

“Have you been eating well?”

Rhu nodded her head.  

Apple hugged her daughter again.  “I missed you so much, baby.”

“Mom.”  Rhu chided her mother, but didn’t pull away.  “Can we go home now?”

Apple’s heart broke.  “Soon, baby, I promise.”  She sniffed, trying to hold back the tears

“Momma, are you a felton?”

“What?”

“They said you were in the dungeon so you’re a felton.”

“Fellon, and no.  I just had to talk to Princess Luna.”

“You got ta meet the princess?”

Apple nodded to her daughter who immediately took off.  “My mah got ta meet tha Princess!” she squealed after a group of fillies.  
The small things always make her so happy.

Hooves strode up behind her.  “It can be difficult to have loved ones while you’re an elemental.  You never really know when they’re going to serve as an object lesson or worse.”  A gentle hoof rested on her shoulder.  Apple looked over at the fabulous unicorn.  “There were a lot of nights were Apple Jack and I would talk about the problems of our sisters.  We blamed ourselves for their troubles.”

“That’s silly,” interjected the other unicorn.

“Oh really?  And how many fillies almost killed themselves on run away parade floats, or got lost in the Everfree every other month?”  Rarity’s sister looked away sheepishly.  “We were especially worried about how long it was taking you to get your cutie marks.  It was almost like something was blocking you from being able to realize your true selves.”  Rarity looked back at Apple.  “It seems your daughter has a lot of Crusader in her.  Truly you have my sympathy.”  

“Hey!”  Her sister shot her an angry look. 

“What’s in store for me?  Is it worth it?”

Rarity smiled down at her.  “Come, let’s talk.”
_____________________________________________________________

Another uneventful breakfast.  Another awkward morning.  It wasn’t as bad as it had been with Apple.  Toffee hadn’t taken it personally.  But it was clear she was still embarrassed that they had come so close.  She didn’t really want to wait.  She just wanted Yards to choose her.  He realized it.  She sat two seats away obliviously stirring the dissolving “chocolate” chips in her grits.  

The other pegasi was beside him today.  She was talking to Catty who sat on the other side of her.  The two were talking about some silly something or the other.  In between him and Toffee Aurora was again planted beside him.  She was giving him sideways looks, like she was wanting to say something, but was just too afraid to follow through.  He understood that, but he had no idea what she wanted.  The empty chair across from him looked him dead in the eye.

“Alright, girls, let’s try and get some leg work today,” he started the morning meeting.

“Yay,” cheered Starfall through a mouthful of fescue.  

“Are we going to try on this years newest stockings?” Catty asked.

“What?  No.  Let’s go looking around at the various crime scenes and see if we can find something.”

“Great, Aurora and I can go check out the theft at the museum.”  Catty was gesturing casually around with her spoon.

Aurora looked up at her friend then back at Yards.  There was a look of betrayal and fear in that hat brim.  

“Sure we can go look at the history exhibit.  Maybe they found something missing after they’d had time to check their catalog.”  Yards took a drink, trying to swallow the unusually dry oatmeal.  

“No, we can handle that, well maybe we’ll take Toffee.  You and Starfall can check on that assault that happened at the train yard.”
“I really don’t like the idea of splitting up the party.”  

Catty raspberried.  “Please, the only person who’d be in danger here is you, and thanks to your darling tiara nopony would even know you’re a unicorn.”

Yards gave Catty a hard look.  “Alright, but it’s not a tiara.”  

“Yippie!”  The zebra cheered.

Yards rolled his eyes and just finished his meal.

“What if I go with Yards.  I am a unicorn, too.”

“Yeah, but nopony can see it under your hat.”  

“Still...I...think it would be better if I went with him.”  The table was surprisingly interesting to Aurora as she absently drew on it with her spoon.

Catty stared at her friend.  “Aurora, ‘string bean’.”

Aurora sat her spoon on the table.

“We’ve discussed this sort of thing.  You need to come with me.”

She pouted and grabbed her tray from the table before walking over to the return window.

Catty shook her head.  “Toffee, can you help me with her?”

Toffee took a last, large bite from her bowl before heading to the window to drop off her dishes too.  

Yards was alone with Starfall.  “So, do you think you can get us into the yard alone?”

She shrugged.  “It depends on who’s working today.”  She took his empty tray and carried them both over to the window.  Yards got up from the table and waited for her by the door.  She jumped onto his back and dug her back hooves into his side.  

“Hi yah!”

Yards grinned up at her and walked out into the morning.  As they made their way through the city there were a lot of jealous looks at the couple.  Guys were jealous of a beautiful mare draping herself over him and several lonely mares were jealous she had somepony.  Still, he didn’t really know the woman on his back well.  She was always working and rarely ever home.  This and Marephis was the most time they’d ever really spent together.  

“So, Star, where are you from?”

“Hhmm?”

“Where are you from?”

“Oh, Sturrup.  It was a small town kinda like Ponyville.”

“Is your family there?”

“They’re dead.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.  It was a while ago.”

“Can I ask what happened?”

“It was the war.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t blow them up.”

“Uhm, well…”

She laughed nervously.  “It was a while ago.  I was staying at my friend’s house when a battle spilled over into our town.  We all hid in her basement for the fighting to stop.  When it did, I went home and found out a stray spell had blown up my house.  My family was dead.”

“I’m so sorry.”

She hugged his neck.  “It’s okay.  On the good side they blew up my school too, so I didn’t have to go anymore.  That became a problem later on, though.”

“Yeah, and then?”

“What, you want the whole story?”

“Sure.”

“I’m a sure thing, you don’t have to pretend.”

“I’m not pretending,  I don’t really know you that well, I’m curious about you.”

Starfall shrugged.  “Well, I was thirteen when my family died.  My friend’s family let me stay with them.  It was fun for a while, then well, one day I had to start ‘paying’ my way.”  She stopped for a bit.  He could feel her shift on top of him.  

“Did you stay long?”

“Oh, until the wife found out.  Then she ran me out and put him in the hospital.”  She hugged his neck tight for a moment. 

“Cez, I’m sorry.  If it hurts…”

“No, my counselor says I need to talk it out with somepony.”    

“If you want.”

She nibbled at his ear.  “Thanks.”  She took a deep breath and exhaled.

“Did you fall in with a gang or something?”

“There were a lot of orphans in town, but, well, I was always pretty.  Stallions will do a lot of things for pretty fillies.  So...I used what I had to survive.”

“Wow…”

He felt her shrug on top of him again.  “It just...I don’t know.  I just knew that there was supposed to be something more.  When I got old enough I bounced around a couple of places that would hire somepony without a diploma:  The Weather Factory, Tent Poles, then I finally got my job with the rail company.   I worked there for a good six months before I ran into you guys.”

“And here you are?”

“Yup.”

“Riding me.”

“What?  You’re going to get to ride me later.”

Yards blushed.  

Starfall nuzzled his ear.  “Besides you like it.”

He grinned, but said nothing.

Yards carried Starfall down the winding streets of Canterlot towards the train station.  She fidgeted on his back for a bit.  “Yards, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“When we were in the shower, I didn’t see a brush, you...you do clean...down there, right?”

Yards blushed again.  Stallion hygiene was one of those delicate conversation topics.  

“Yeah, yeah.  My brush is back home, at Acres.  Though they cleaned me at the hospital, so...I’m still good.”

“Good.  I mean, I’ve been with some older stallions and they don’t always take care of that.  It’s really gross.”

“Is that why you were talking about being in a relationship with me being gross?”

“Some of it.”

“So, then, what do you want from me?”

“Huh?”

“What do you want?”

“I don’t know.”

“If you don’t know what you want, then how can you work towards it?”

“I...I…”

“Okay, let’s narrow it down a bit.  What are you looking for with us?”

“Well, this isn’t the first herd I’ve been a part of, but it is the one that feels right being a part of.  Does that make sense?”

“But you’re not attracted to me?”

“That’s a mean question.”

“Yeah, but it’s something that’s honest.”

“No.  I mean.  I’ve seen you with Rhubarb Salad.  You’re really good with her.  You never yell at her.  You always answer her questions.  You try and make time for her.  She really likes you.  You’re a good dad.  If we had foals, I think you’d be a good dad to them too.”
Yards closed his eyes for a moment.  If only Apple Rhubarb agreed with her.  “What about the other girls?”

“Apple’s a great mom.  It would be really handy to have somepony there that could help me when I don’t know what to do.  Toffee’s really smart and she’d help make sure my foals got an education so they could be something better than a broodmare.”

“HEY!”

“What?  My whole life it’s the only thing I’ve been good at.”

“You took good care of me in Marephis.  You’re very gentle and caring.”

“Yeah, that’s why they love me as a broodmare.”

“That and your wings.”

She laughed.  

“The Princess says you are the Elemental of Kindness.  That’s a lot more than just a broodmare.”

She grinned.  “Yeah.  I can’t believe the princess knows me.  That’s amazing.  OH, we’re getting close, turn here.  We’ll go through the employee entrance, have to deal with less traffic.”

Yards dutifully turned a street ahead of the station.  There were more ponies coming and going.  Wagon loads of goods were being off and onloaded.  The industry of a major city leaving for all across the land.  Raw materials for the artisans and food for the ponies coming in to the markets.  The local buildings were houses that have been converted back and forth into all manner of varying useful things.  From warehouses, to refugee camps, to motels, to shops selling raw goods to artisans in town.  It looked like there was even a stallion house for desperate mares.  An interesting take on an old profession.

Starfall lightly jumped off his back and floated down beside him.  Pegasi were always so graceful.  “Let’s see who’s working today.”

There was a small group of ponies over by a walk through gate.  A lone guard checked passes as the others checked in.  Starfall fell in line and Yards waited off to the side.  The guard was an older mare.  She was an earth pony with a coat as dark a green as Yard’s mane. Her mane was tucked up under her hat.  Her uniform was a serious version of Starfall’s.  Starfall pulled a card out of her mane with a wing and presented it to her.

“Morning, Block,” 

“Oh, hi, Starfall.  Picking up your check?”

“Yeah.”

“Who’s this?”

“Yards.  There was an attack the other day at the place we’re staying at, so he’s making sure I’m safe.”

She made a note on a clipboard.  “Full name?”

“Yards McCanter,” Yards answered.

She made a note  “Star, you might want to go straight to the office.”

Star’s head tilted to the side in confusion.  “What’s up.”

“Just go see them.”

Yards followed Starfall through the yard.  It stretched in either direction as far as he could see.  There were train cars everywhere, waiting their turn to trips all across Equestria.  They carefully stepped over the multiple lines of track and Starfall waved to several older stallions putting cars together to form the next train.  They waved back with a smile.  

“Where was the attack?”  Star asked him.

“Uhm,” Yards tried to remember the particulars of a case he hadn’t studied closely.  

“Well?”

Yards scratched his forehead.  “I think it was one of the repair houses.”

“There’s three here, which one?”

“Probably the one not used very often.”

“Oh, yeah.  That would make sense.  Squatters wouldn’t hang out in the spray booth while we’re repainting cars, huh?”  She turned and Yards got another look at her plump rump.  That extra layer of fat that kept pegasi warm at high altitude gave them such a supple flank.  He shook his head.  Purposefully he looked past her, looking for a sign of anything moving in the shadows.   Starfall slowed half a step to be beside him.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just, you know, incase there’s danger…”

Yards nodded.  He didn’t expect any problems, but given what she’d gone through her hesitation was understandable.  
The rails on the ground here were older and rusted.  Hulks of broken down and damaged cars were stacked all around.  Parts were put into bins and covered by lean-tos.  Frames were broken down back to lumber and stacked neatly on dunnage to keep it clear of rot from the ground.  There was very little unused scrap in the area.  That surprised Yards, considering the blasts, burns and bullet holes in the sides of some of these cars.  Further in where rusting locomotive engines showing battle scars as well.  

Trains allowed for rapid redeployment of ponies and materials.  As a result they made prime targets during the war.  These suffered heavily and were being salvaged for what they could to keep the other trains functional.  Had they come at any other time of day it would have been really creepy.  

The air was still here.  The breeze was blocked by the derelicts and detritus.  There was still water in ruts and broken boilers.  Mosquitoes buzzed about in the hazy air.  Yards smacked at one of the parasites flying by with his tail.  He hit Starfall on the rump.  She squealed and gave him a look.  

“If you wanted to do it here you should just say so.”

“There was a bug.”

She smiled at him.  “I’m just teasing.  Cez.”  She nudged him.  “But yeah, later.”

“Come on.  This is serious.  We need to focus.  Do you remember anything about this case?”

“Nah, I didn’t read it.”

“It was a unicorn.  I think he was breaking this stuff down and something about an axle and a beat down.”

“I don’t see any laying around, did they restack it?.”

“Not sure.  Let’s just be careful.”

She nodded and wondered over to a wreck to look closer at it.  Yards kept her in eyesight but started looking around for clues.  They climbed around on the piles trying to find some lead somewhere.  

Yards heard a squeak from the other pile.  He turned to see Starfall quivering in terror.  She was looking at him for some reason.  No, she was looking behind him.  Ah road apples.  He closed his eyes and slowly turned around to see what had frightened her.  As he opened his eyes he saw a large, blue tentacle.  Perfect.  Yards followed the tentacle down to a roughly stalagmite shaped body on the far side of his pile.  It’s mouth was huge, vertical, and filled with a double row of razor sharp teeth. It’s cyclopean eye was at the apex of the mouth.  There were tentacles coming out all around it’s body.  Two were far longer than the rest.  It was those two that could reach him.  

The first tentacle swiped the air as he ducked down to dodge it.  The second was coming up behind him and he had to jump over it.  Yards had no idea what this thing was or why it was attacking or even how it got here.  Bereft of his magic, his weapons or armor there wasn’t much he could do.  

“Star, go get the guard!”  She stood there, frozen in terror.  Great.  Yards spun around and kicked the boards he had been standing on down at the monster.  He raced over to the other  pile.  He shoved at her but still she refused to move.  Desperate he shoved his nose under her stomach and flipped her on top of his back.  

In a controlled panic Yards carried her down the pile of debris and raced back to the front gate.  He had to go get help.  This was very big.  He saw the yard workers look up in confusion.  Some were even running up behind him, calling out to Starfall.  He saw the guard.  She walked over to the main gate to open it for him.  He slammed into her.  

“Get the Solari here!”

She stopped, confused.  Yards grabbed her lapels.  His mana governor smacked into the brim of her hat.  Her white striped mane spilled out.  

“Wha?”

Hooves were pulling him away.  Somepony was pulling Starfall off his back.  Reflexively he kicked behind him, making contact with somepony back there.  More hooves grabbed for him.  Yards spun around snarling at the stallions behind him.  “I am Captain Yards McCanter, Lunari Special Division.  Get Shining Armor and the STARE team down here right now!”

The stallions backed away, unsure what to do.  Satisfied he turned to talk to the guard only to get knocked upside the head.  He noticed that the ground was really hard.  The guard’s hoof hovered over his head.  Yards shoved his hoof in between her fore legs, kicking her in the sternum.  It lifted her off the ground and shoved her away.  Yards got up and stood protectively over Starfall’s body.  

“You!”  He pointed at a stallion and dropped his voice into his command voice.  “Go to the booth and get the authorities.  Tell them I said we have an ELF here and I need STARE.”  He took off for the phone.  Good.  Now for the others.  “You and you!”  he pointed at two more.  “Go round up everypony in the yard and get them somewhere safe.  Get the people onto trains or out of here as discretely as possible.  Let’s not start a stampede.”  They nodded.  The first stallion cantered back.

“They’re on the way.”

“Good.  Now call the history museum.  Have them page Toffee Chips and have her come here with the team with Star’s medicine.”  He nodded and then went back to the phone.  Alright, now that everypony was busy there was nothing to do now but wait.
> The Naughty Chapter
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

His blue-black mane flowed in the breeze.  It was far too long to be regulation.  His broad, earth pony chest rippled with muscles  He was only wearing the Crupper of his bard.  He had a white and black feather sticking out of his Martyr’s charm.  His black coat shone in the sunlight.  In short it was the kind of stallion that made Yards burn with jealousy.  Surely he’d never have any problem with mares so he would know what to do.  “There’s no trace of anything here,” he called out in his musically deep voice.  

Yards looked down at him from the top of the toppled pile of lumber.  Aurora was beside him, looking down at the Solari’s best tracker.  Beside her Shining Armor was watching the squad he’d brought in to secure the area.  Astro landed beside him.  “Brought Apple over.  She’s down there with the other mares,” he told his commander.  Shining nodded.  

“What kind of Esoteric Life Form was it?” Shining asked Yards.

“I’ve never seen anything like it.  It had to way hundreds of pounds.  There’s no way it wouldn’t leave a track.”

“Are you sure?”

“I saw what I saw.  But if it wasn’t here then what I saw wasn’t what was here.”

Shining shook his head.  “If that’s true...another hive, here?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised by another hive here.  What worries me is that nopony knows about them.  That means it’s a rogue hive.”

“I know this is a delicate subject with you, but if we’re right, we need to get the Inquisiti-.”  

“No.”  Yards answer came out before Shining finished the last word.  

Yards looked behind him at the knot of mares on the ground.  Catty, Toffee and now even Apple were comforting Starfall over her latest attack.  Somewhere Messer was flying over the yard.  This just didn’t feel right.  

“Yards, I know you and Trixie…”

“It’s not it.”  Yards took a breath and looked back around.  What was this feeling?  “This is the first time all nine Potentials have been together.”

“Yeah, so...the other two are in danger.”

“That or a chance to take us out all at once.”

“But if we don’t work together one team might not be able to take on this thing.”

“I know.  Especially since...well…”  The lessening of the pain made tact possible.  There was no need to remind him of the loss of his wife and that the two of them had been the only thing that had stopped the Queen’s infiltration last time.  

“This...doesn’t seem like changelings,”  Aurora added.  The stallions looked at her, waiting for her to continue.  “They feed off of love or something.  It would seem like they would be at that stallion house.  Why would they frighten everypony away?”

“Because they don’t want ponies around their hive.”  Yards answered.

“Yeah, but wouldn't they try something more like seducing somepony away from there?”  

“Then they’d be coming back to try and find their lover again.  No, they’d be more likely to just kill them after luring them away.  But if they kill too many than it lures people here.  Beat up one or two and it’s not that big of a deal in someplace the size of Canterlot.  But using something like that giant monster, well, that’s more like one of Delta’s emotional outbursts.”

“That was your pet?”

“She’s a-was a...friend.  When she overfed she’d freak out and do crazy, usually violent, things.”

“Why would you be friends with something like that again?”

“Hey, I only had to kill her once.”

“And you still call it friend.”  

“Her.  I know, it’s kinda crazy.”

She shook her head.  “So, Mister Changeling Expert, where would they hide their hive?”

Yards shrugged.  “Not sure.  She wasn’t very forthcoming about things like that.”

Aurora huffed, blowing her bangs back so he could see her other eye for just a split second.  

“Can you do an area dispel?”

“Maybe  But it might not do anything.  The further I spread it out the weaker the spell would have to be for me to affect it.”
“Well, usually the best place to hide something is usually out in the open.”  Shining scanned the horizon.  “Let’s use logic for a second.  It has to be fairly easy to get in and out of.  Otherwise, you bottleneck yourself into a bad situation if you’ve got to flee.”

“Why would they flee?” Aurora asked.  

“Changelings rarely fight to the death,” explained Yards.  “For most of them their forms are just phantasms draped over them.  Very few are like Delta in that they can completely convert love energy to mass.”

“There’s usually more than one escape hatch, so they call can flee efficiently,” said Shining.      

There was a noise behind them.  They all turned to see Apple climbing up the lumber stack.  “Yards, can I talk to you?”  She was wearing that maid dress again.  She was so cute in it.  What should he tell her?  

“Um, sure.”  He walked down to meet her as she swung around and started back down.  As they walked she started heading to the gate.

“I’ve got to get back to work.  I’m already late.  Yards…”

“I’m sorry,” was his automatic response.  

She smiled darkly  “It’s going to take more than that.  But thank you.”  She inhaled deeply.  “I’ve decided to give you another chance.”
There was  an incredulous snort behind them.  They looked and Aurora was shaking her head as she pulled her hat down lower over her face.  She walked off, muttering to herself.  

Yards bit back his own retort about how real friends don’t give friends “another chance.”  It was just a bad choice of words.  Let it go.  The 
team is what matters.  It was important that the team save Equestria.  Instead, all he said was:  “I’m glad.”

“Yards...I’m...I’m all tied up in knots inside.  I just don’t know...I’ve got to get myself straightened out.  Please don’t think less of me.”

“No, no, no.  It’s just...I could really use more guidance with Rhu.  When I’m wrong when I’m right.  I...anything, really.  If that’s our biggest problem together…”

She nodded.  “That’s fair, I guess.”

“Starfall says I’m doing good, but you’ve never really said anything either way.”

“Well, I never thought I had to.  It should come to you.”

“How to wire a chain of spells into kicking in a safety levitation field after a pegasus is knocked unconscious comes naturally to me.  Giving life advice to a little girl, not so much.”

“I guess I can understand that.  You’re not the one who told her to kick the foals at school, are you?”

Yards looked away.  “I don’t know.”

“Yards!”

“See, this is why.  I told her what I was told about what to do with a bully.”

She shook her head.  “I need an escort back to the castle.  Can you find me one?”

“I’ll take you.”

“That’s okay, you’ve got an investigation to lead.  Yards...I’m sorry too.”  She hesitated for a moment, then reached out for his hoof.  He took hers and held it for a moment.  She smiled, like he had reaffirmed something to her.  He wasn’t sure why it was so important to her.  Slowly he let go and used it to flag down a pegasus.  “Tech Sergeant!”  A Solari aviation petty officer winged down and landed in front of him.  His sky blue mane and orange coat were marred by numerous flakk shots.  “Technical Sergeant Sentry, I need you to escort this woman back to the Castle.”

He nodded, “I’ll get two o-”

“No.  I need you to do this.  Keep her safe.  Don’t let anything happen to her.”

“Understood, Captain.”  He turned to look at Apple, “This way, Ms.”

When they were out of sight Yards turned back around.  One of Celestia’s best guards, Apple would be safe.  Now to find the hidden changeling base.  The gaggle of girls was one smaller.  

“Are you okay?” Yards headbutted Starfall softly.

“I’ll be alright.  What was that?”

“We’re thinking it was a changeling.”

“Oh.  You mean, it wasn’t some sort of...monster?”

“Nope, just a regular ol’ trick.”

She smiled, it seemed a weight was removed from her back.  

“Do you want to help us look for their hideout?”

She nodded and Yards looked up at Toffie and Catty, waiting for their answers.Toffie nodded her agreement.  Catty just glared back.
“Would you hear me if I told you where it was?”

“Do you know?”

“No.  But you don’t seem to listen any better than your friend.”  She looked up at Shining.

“What?”

“About Aurora.”

“This is far more important.  Where is she?  She shouldn’t be off on her own, especially if there’s changelings running around here.  We need to institute our password protection.  Does STARE have a password protocol?”

Catty nodded.

“Good, you stay by me.  Pegasi team up.  Don’t let each other out of your sight.”  

“What are we looking for?”

“Start with Shining, tell everypony to go ahead and start changeling protocols.”

She nodded and flew off.  Yards looked over at the zebra.  “Let’s go find Aurora.”

“You don’t understand the forces you trifle with.”  Catty walked beside him as they started around a pile of debris

“I really don’t understand what you’re so afraid of.  She seems fine.”

Catty just stared at him.  “Look I’ve known her a lot longer than you and I’m not thinking with my little head.  The last guy that strung her along like you’re doing had his house burn down.  We had to cover it up.”

“Oh, Shining wouldn’t do that.”

Catty just shrugged.

“Look, I don’t want to hurt your friend.  I don’t want to come between you two.  Why are you attacking me?”

“Because you create chaos.”

“I don’t create chaos.”

“Yes you do.  You’re willful, and proud and don’t care about other ponies.  Aurora is very caring so she’s easily hurt.  Even if you don’t try to hurt her, the chaos you create around you will end up hurting her.”  

“That’s ridiculous.”	

She scoffed, but they came across Aurora as she was examining an industrial refrigerator on the side of a pile of miscellaneous parts.  
“Are you a changeling?”  Catty asked bluntly.

“Me and Shiny Pants,” Aurora answered.

“That would make him King of the Changelings,” Catty finished.

Yards snickered.  “That’s a great password.”

That got Catty to smile.  “I came up with it myself.”

“What do you have here Aurora?”

“Well, there’s this mark on it.”  She pointed at a small drawing of an egg that had been drawn on the cooler.  Yards scratched his chin in confusion.  Catty reached out and grabbed the door.  Behind it was a tunnel leading down.

“Really?”  Catty sounded genuinely disappointed.

“Nopony ever said changelings were original.”  They wedged the door open and drew an arrow in the dirt pointing to the giant chiller.  Yards started to go first, then realized he couldn’t use his light spell “Anypony got a light?”

They looked around until Catty found a drawer full of flashlights in a nearby nightstand.  They all looked around in confusion.  Yards picked one up with his mouth and clicked it on.  He guided the two mares down into the tunnel until it opened up into a large chamber.  By a table there was a candelabra and a lighter.  The candles were half burnt and slightly soft.  Catty lit the candles as Aurora pressed herself close to Yards.  He looked down at her and she grinned self consciously.  

“No making out in the dark,” snapped Catty.  “I swear you two are as bad as teenagers.”

“I’m not scared.  The darkness is my oldest friend,” Aurora huffed as she walked away.  She tried to puff herself out and Yards noticed just how short she really was.  She was mostly leg, with a narrow, short body.  Her head came up just over his shoulders.  

“Yards!”  Catty snapped.  “I swear you two are worse than teenagers!”  Yards looked up at the zebra waiting for them at another tunnel entrance.  

Together the three of them walked down the well trodden corridor to a series of small rooms.  Each room was simple and Spartan.  Two beds, two tables, an oil lamp on the tables.  In some of the rooms was a ring of filth at the end of the bed denoting where a footlocker had been.  Somepony had bugged out of here very recently.  

“So, what do we do?”  Aurora asked.

“Let’s look for a room that’s different.  If we can find a supply room or the officer’s room we might can see what they were up to.”  
One of the rooms was filled with egg shapes on the wall, along with one really large version that filled up the far wall.  Inside the egg was the silhouette of a unicorn.  The long nosed pony in the picture was drawn with large canine teeth.    

“Yards, I’m not so sure that we’re dealing with changelings.  This is like the drawing those Earth ponies did at the store.”

“Maybe it’s an offshoot.  Like changelings that feed off of anarchy or hate or something.”   Delta would be really handy right now.  Though she was lewd she was honest and generally helpful.  

The hallway opened again into a large room.  This had the feel of a college dorm commons.  There were several sofas and cushions scattered around the room.  The big egg and long snouted pony symbol was drawn on the wall here.  This one also had the unicorn silhouette and fanged pony.  There was a couple of tables, one had a radio playing very static heavy music.  A desk sat at the side of one wall.  Behind the desk was a privacy curtain.  

Catty lit the lanterns on the tables while the unicorns rifled through the desk, finding only broken pencils and crumpled paper.  Catty picked up one of the lanterns and they looked behind the curtain.  There was a simple cell like the others back here.  This one only had one bed and a small writing desk inside.  Aurora opened the writing desk while Yards looked around the bed.  Under the head of the bed he found a small crystal on the floor.  It wasn’t covered in dust so it hadn’t been there for long.  He wasn’t sure just what kind of crystal it was.  Catty came up behind him to see it.

“Do you know what it is?” he asked her.

“Yeah.”

“What is it?”

“A sex stone.”

“A what?”

“A buckin rock.”

Yards shook his head.  “And you say I’m as bad as a teenager.”

She gave him a wry grin.  “Let’s get it to Shining.”  Yards nodded in agreement.

As they came out from behind the curtain they saw Shining and two smg armed pegasi flanking him.  “Are you a changeling?” Yards asked.

He stopped looking at the large mural on the wall and looked at him with genuine anger.  Eventually he realized Yards had spoken.  “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m King of the Changelings, hahahaha.  What are you Lunari up to!”

“What?”

Shining pointed at the drawing.  “What are you doing!”  It wasn’t a question, it was a demand.  

“What are you talking about?”

“If it’s not Lunari then why are they drawing pictures of the moon?”

“That’s not the moon.”

Shining stopped and blinked.  “I’m sorry, I forget, it’s changed since you were a foal.  That’s what the moon looked like.  When Nightmare Moon was still locked away there.”

“Okay, first off, why would Lunari want to associate themselves with a time during the Princess’s internment, and second we don’t celebrate her Dark Time.”  

Shining was mollified.  

“What the buck is going on here?” Yards asked.

Shining could only shake his head.

“We found this in the other room.  It looked like the co’s room.”  He handed the crystal over.  Shining looked it over in confusion.  Not knowing himself what it was about.  

“Well.  I’ll post some sentries to see if they catch anypony coming or going here, but I doubt it.  Looks like somepony bugged out quick.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t doubt there wasn’t another hidden entryway around here somewhere or else we’d of seen them leave.”

“If you don’t mind I’m going to borrow your pegasi to help scout for other possible entrances.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Not Starfall!” interjected Catty.  They looked at the zebra.  “They have a DATE tonight.” 

Aurora stared daggers at her friend.  Shining just looked on in confusion at the mares.  “Okay.”

“This sounds like it could start getting dangerous.  Maybe we should barde up.”

“It’s in the armoury, if you want I’ll have it sent to your house.”

Yards inhaled through his teeth.  “I don’t think so.  Just leave standing orders that we have access to it.  I don’t want to have to, you know, make the girls carry that around.  Toffee can barely fly in it.”  

Shining nodded.  “Alright, let’s get out of here.  We could probably bring in the local CSI and see what they could come up with.”

Yards nodded.  “Catty, do you want to go get the detective and see what he thinks?”

“Sure, come on, Aurora.”  Her friend glared at her some more, but got up from beside Yards and followed her out.  
________________________________________________________________

“So do I need to dress up for this?”  Yards called out from the shower at the only other pony in the rooms.  Apple hadn’t come home, Catty, Aurora and Toffee were still working with Shining, combing the rail yards.  Starfall and Yards should really have been there with them, but Catty would have none of that.  She had seen to it that they had left a couple hours before dark so they would have ample time to get ready to go out.  Star was tired from flying all day and had ridden him back.  She had taken first shower and was now curling her tail and doing her hooves.

“Nah, just doing something simple.  That way you don’t get distracted.”  

Yards laughed.  It echoed in the shower stall.  He was sore and tired too.  The knots in his neck weren’t loosening up any.  His stomach was taking a dangerous roll.  He’d screwed up two dates in as many nights.  What horror would happen tonight?

He turned off the shower and opened the door.  Starfall was finishing her eyeliner as he grabbed a towel and started drying himself.  “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere.”

Oh, well, that made things easier.  “So…”

She pushed him with one of her wings.  “Calm down!  It’ll be okay, I promise.  Just relax.”  Yards watched her beautification ritual.  It was always interesting to watch a hidden aspect of life.  She pulled out her slut red lipstick and smiled at him, reached out and booped his nose.  She kissed a piece of paper and threw it away.  “Am I pretty enough?”

“You were always pretty enough.”

She shook her head and giggled softly.  Yards was glad to be a stallion.  They had to make sure they didn’t stink.  Sure they usually had to ask a mare out, that was the hard part.  Then the mare decided what they were going to do and the stallion agreed or not.  First dates tended to be simple affairs so they could get to know each other and find out exactly what a stallion could afford.  

“Come on, let’s go.”  She sashayed out, expertly flicking her tail to tantalizingly wrap itself along his jaw and lead him away.  In her wake was a heady mix of ylang ylang, geranium and a dash of clover from her perfume leaving his mouth salivating slightly.  He followed that rump back into their room where she stopped to pick up a basket.  “I figured a simple picnic on the roof would be alright.”

“Sure.”

“Great, I had to reserve the spot yesterday.”

“What?”  

She lead him down the corridor to a flight of stairs.  “I don’t think I can carry you up there so we can go this way.  It turns out it’s a really common date spot for all the pegasi in the area.” 

Huh, this would be very interesting.  Yards hadn’t actually seen any real pegasi mating rituals, well, none that weren’t porn based.  Speaking of porn, Yards was pretty sure that Star was putting some extra sway in her hips as they climbed the stairs.  There was a final landing with a door that opened onto the roof.  She pushed the bar and opened the door for her date.  Yards walked out onto a plyboard platform that expanded the spine of the roof big enough for a pony to comfortably walk on.  There were small alcoves in the roof line created by the windows protruding through the roof.  Couples were nestled together, looking out onto the city and the coming night sky. 

“This is us.”  Starfall landed in a corner niche.  She pulled a blanket out of the basket and spread it out.  “I got this one because the view isn’t as good, but it is bigger than some of the others.”  She set about getting the food ready. “Come on, I’ll only bite where you want me to.”  Yards smiled self consciously but walked down the gentle slope to the picnic area.  He noticed a simple iron railing at the edge to help flightless ponies from tumbling to their death.  There was also a shelf like structure that matched the pitch of the roof to create a flat spot that Starfall was using as her table.  

She twisted a bottle into an ice bucket that had been inside the device.  Then she pulled simple foods out of the bucket.  There was a bunch of grapes, daisey and cucumber sandwiches, a bag of chips, and some muffins.  She caught his eyes on the baked goods.  “They’re oat bran, I know how you old stallions are and bran.”   She gave him a playful grin as he gave her an evil glare.  

“Come here.”

She obeyed his command and sat down beside him, kissing him gently on his lips.  “So, Yards...I told you about my family, what about yours?”
“‘I’m a sure thing, why fake interest?’” he mocked her earlier comment.

“Maybe I want to get to know you better too.”  She leaned into him, draping her wing over his back and gently nuzzling him under his jaw with the top of her head.  She gently rubbed her body against him, creating a sensual pleasure.  He pulled her in front of him and spooned.  She spread her wings around his forelegs and pressed herself hard into his chest.   

“Well, I don’t really know that much about them right now.  Me joining the Lunari got me thrown out of the family.”

“Wow, they were that strongly Solari?”

“No, not really.  There’s always been tensions in the family.  That just gave them the excuse to exclude some of us.”

“I’m sorry.”

He gave her a gentle squeeze.  “Thanks.  So, uh…”  Yards struggled to find something to talk to her about.”    “How’s your closet space downstairs?”

She laughed genuinely, temporarily breaking the intimacy of the night.  “Such pillow talk, you smoothie.”

“Sorry.”  Yards tried to move away, but she held him with her wings.  

“It’s okay.  Cez, you’re so sensitive.  Besides everypony know the fastest way to a mare’s heart is plenty of closet space.”  She looked up at him and gave him a soft kiss.  

Canterlot was beginning to light up underneath them.  They were on the Eastern side, unable to see the sunset, so already the shadows of the mountain were being cast long and stars, both candle powered and Luna created were starting to come out.  They watched the lights come on one at a time, slowly twinkling into existence.  It was a beautiful sight.  

Luna began to bring the cool of the night, allowing couples to snuggle closer.  “So, Lunari, I mean, I know you’re not the most, you know, but the other Lunari, is it true about them?”

“Which part?”

“The sex part.”

“Well...Astro dates griffons rather than women.”

She giggled.  “Would I make a good Lunari?”

Yards sighed.  “That not something that really matters.”

“But Luna chose me.”

“She also chose Toffee, and she’s steadfastly Solari.  Sun Buns chose Astro and he’s a Lunari.”

She giggled again.  “Sun Buns.  Yards, I’m scared.”

“About what?”

“This whole, I’m important thing.  I...I just.  I keep thinking about that...that...stuff and I froze.  You saved me.  You saved my life.  I don’t…”  She was starting to tremble.  He held her tight for a few minutes.  

“It’s alright.  I know.  I feel really bad that you girls are so poorly trained.  I promise as soon as we get back home I’m going to start training you all.  

“But what if I freeze up again?”

“That’s why you train, if you know the plan then it’s less scary.”

She closed her eyes and held Yards with her wings.  Her tail began to tickle his crotch.  “I appreciate that you think I’m worth it.”  

He kissed the top of her head.  “It’s alright.”  

They sat together in the silence and watched the stars come to life.  

“See that there?  That’s the Wendigo!”  Starfall pointed out a constellation.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.  Too bad astronomy isn’t that useful of a special talent.”

It was Yard’s turn to laugh.  “I understand that.”  He disengaged his leg and reached over for the bunch of grapes.  He held it before her mouth.  She took one and pulled it off the bunch and chewed softly.  They ate the fruit while she pointed out stars.  Yards knew a lot of their names because of call signs from his time in the military but didn’t know where all of them were.  Sometimes she would tell him one and then he would tell her about the unit that that name had been assigned to.  Eventually she disengaged herself and poured two glasses of wine.  She handed one over to Yards then put a sandwich on a napkin and handed him that.  He kind of looked at it funny.   Using the bottom of his glass he pushed the napkin down.  Then he took a big bite, grabbing most of it with his lips.  With a quick flip he tossed the napkin and caught the back of the sandwich before it fell.  

Star watched as the napkin floated over the edge and down to the yard.  “Men.”

She took her sandwich and sat next to him while he slowly ate his.  They were tasty, but she’d put a lot of salt on the cucumbers.  Yards took a large drink to try and wash it down.  “So, really, why me?”  Yards asked her. The glass of wine was relaxing him enough that he didn’t feel afraid to ask her a direct relationship question.  

Starfall shrugged.  “Because.”

“Yeah, but there’s already a line forming.”

“That happens a lot now.  Stallions are at a premium and they know it.”  She took a sip from her wine glass.  “They expect things and I used to give it to them so they’d take care of me.”  With a slight grin she looked back at him and opened her wings slightly.  “Then I met your little herd.  You welcomed me into your house.  You never asked for anything.  You made room for me, and all you asked was I keep my stockings picked up.  You fed me, and asked only that I help with the dishes.  Most stallions anymore wouldn’t be nearly that generous.  It’s like you don’t even care about what I’ve done in the past or what I could do for you, you just accept me for who I am now.”  

She blushed softly and finished her glass.  Then so elegantly she sat her glass down on the table and reached for the bottle.  “You’re the first stallion in a really long time to do anything like that for me and not once say:  ‘It an’t gonna suck itself’.”  She refilled his glass then raised the bottle to her lips.  She poured the clear liquid into her mouth.  She swallowed quickly, keeping up with the wine coming out.  Slowly she pushed the rim of the bottle past her lips, into her mouth.  Using her tongue to give her a moment, she inhaled through her nose without removing the bottle, then she pushed the bottle further down her muzzle.  Lifting her chin to line it up, she took the bottle into her mouth, releasing her hold on the sweet nectar and swallowed the remainder of the wine.  

Yards picked his jaw off the roof.  Starfall pulled the bottle out of her mouth and gave her lips a satisfied smack.  She gave the stallion a smoldering look over her shoulder.  “Speaking of, I think I owe you a little ‘lip service’ from the shower, don’t I?”    

Yards blanched.  “Uh, now, ah, are you...in heat?”

Starfall smiled at him.  “No, that’s a couple weeks away.”  She picked up his glass and held it up to his mouth, waiting for him to take a drink. Nervously he gulped the wine down.  “No, this is ‘no relationship entangling’,  just ‘thank’s for being a decent pony and saving my life’ sex.” 
Yards didn’t want to believe her.  That sort of thing never happened.  She leaned in and kissed him.  Pulling away she gave him a curious look.  

“You do like mares, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s just...I don’t want to hurt anypony.”

“Well, it only hurts if you’re doing it wrong, or really right.”  She gave him a winning smile.  “Look, here, let’s do it this way. I’ll show you some basic moves that Apple or Toffee won’t mind you knowing, okay?”

“Okay.”  She took his hooves and wrapped them around her.  Then she flipped her short mane back.

“Start working your way down my neck, along the artery there.”

“That’s not your artery.”

She gave him a stern look.  “Nibble whatever it is like you’re preening.”

Yards moved in.  Softly he nuzzled at her nape.  Taking her advice, he nipped at her slightly.  She moaned softly in response.  
“Good, personally I like it a little harder, but you’ve got to listen to the noise she makes to tell you how much force to put into it.”

Yards obeyed, biting her harder.  She moaned louder.  He moved slightly down to a fresh spot on her neck and bit harder still.  She squealed in delight.  “It’s okay, bruises don’t show up on my coat.  But don’t go for a big bite all at once.  You-ahhh! yeah, like that.  Build up to it.”

He worked his way down her long neck biting and kissing.  She moaned and writhed against him in obvious pleasure.  The fire in his chest was growing to match the alcohol buzz in his brain.  She didn’t care about his failures.  She didn’t want to live with him.  She just wanted his body right now.  They were just two bodies.  He kissed her hard as her hooves slid down his chest.  They were just two bodies.  He buried his muzzle into her mane and bit down on a mouthful and pulled.  She whinnied in ecstasy.  

Her hoof moved past his chest and hit the tip of his emerging member.  She stroked it lovingly as it began to unsheath.  It was his time to gasp in pleasure.  With a knowing hoof she coaxed him out, kissing him while doing it.  As he came up for air, Yards remembered something about nibbling her ear and bit down at the end.  She squealed and pulled away.  Looking him straight in the eye she lowered her head in between his forelegs.  She disappeared under him only for him to feel her hot breath on his tip.  

Working it like the wine bottle Yards could feel what her tongue had been doing things he hadn’t seen.  Shudders of pleasure rocked his body and forcefully stopped his brain.  He could feel her lips come to rest at the base of his shaft and hold there for a few amazing seconds before she jerked away, gasping for breath.  “You are part earth pony,” she said with a grin.  

Turning around and lifting her tail high, she presented herself to Yards.  “Do what you want.”  Yards scrambled on the roof shingles, desperate to get to all four hooves.  He grabbed her by the hips and pulled her back.  She squealed at his strength.  He pulled her further under him and leaned forward.  His weight forced her to her knees.  She grunted and reached under her.  Eagerly she guided him into her.  

Yards grabbed her by the chest and pulled, burying himself into her.  She grunted in pain.  “Not all at once!”  The alcohol and sex had shut down his brain and his body was just a machine, performing one of it’s most basic functions.  Frantically he thrust into her.”Wait!” she called out.  

Yards could feel it growing inside him and knew every second was precious.  But the mare said wait.  With what little control he had left he thrust in and held it there.  He could feel her shuffling around under him and he bit down on his lower lip, trying to hold back a little longer.  
She seemed satisfied with her new position and breathed out a “go” command. “Now’s when you start biting my mane,” she whispered to him.  With a mouth full of mane he pulled her head back.  He pumped for everything he could.  She moaned under him, moving in time to his irregular rhythm.  Grunting she grabbed him with those magnificent wings.  Feeling the feathers embrace his sides Yards exploded inside her.  She gyrated under him for a few seconds more before her own call of ecstasy came from her lips.  

Gasping for breath, he collapsed on top of her.  He did his best to keep most of his weight from crushing her.  Softly he nuzzled her mane and noticed the sweat foam matting her coat.  “You, ah, okay?”

She nodded under him.  Her eyes closed and a satisfied smile on her face.  

Slowly Yard’s brain was coming back online.  “You, uh, what now?”

Without looking she moved her foreleg slightly so as not to muffle the sound she answered.  “You hold me.”

“For how long?”

“Until we’re done.”

“Aren’t we?”

“You’re the one still in me.”

“Oh, sorry am I not supposed to.”

“It’s fine.  Just calm down.  We don’t have anywhere to go.  You can stay there as long as you want.”

“Am I crushing you.”

“No, it’s nice.”

Yards lay on top of her for several moments.  His brain slowly slipping down again.  Physically exhausted, and sexually satiated, he was struggling to maintain consciousness.  He’d seen enough stand up comedians to know he wasn’t supposed to fall asleep.  Starfall softly started snoring.  Yards rolled his eyes as he rolled off of her.  Quietly he began to gather up the few items that were in the picnic basket.  He looked around at the couples on the roof.  He could hear a few of the more vocal ones that were out of eyeshot finishing up as well.  

Apparently this was going on fairly often up here.  He’d have to remember to be very careful about being up here ever again.  
Looking down at the indigo pegasus, he really wished he had his magic still.  He could just levitate her down to the bed they would share for the rest of the night.  It was too bad she didn’t want a relationship with him.  She was the only one that didn’t want one with him.  
Oh crap, the only mare that didn’t want a long term relationship and he’d picked her to have sex with?  What was he thinking?  What had he done?  Self loathing washed over him in a thick, comfortable coat of misery.  He spun and hung his head over the edge and heaved until the wine burned purgation into his sinuses.  How could he have done something so stupid?  

“Gee, it was that bad?”  The hurt and betrayal in her voice was obvious.  

Oh no, not again.  He heaved over the edge again as his stomach twisted up once more.  

She sighed and got up, grabbing her basket.  “Well, I…”  She just stammered for a few seconds before she flew off.  Yards turned to walk back to their room, but tripped on the roof.  He tried to scramble, but the incline was just too much for him to navigate.  

Stop.  Concentrate.  Move with the roof.  That roll is a rhythm.  Just roll with it.  With only slight difficulty he was able to climb back to the spine and walk to the door.  For some reason the door wasn’t wanting to cooperate with opening.  Using both hooves he was finally able to open the door.  

He made his way back to his room.  Toffee was standing there in the room.  Her face was even.  

“Toff, where’s Star?”

“She’s in the shower, crying.  Yards...I...saw that you two had sex.”

He walked over to Toffee.  For some reason the floor decided to roll the opposite way and he stumbled.  Toffee gave him a concerned look.  “Are you okay?”

“Sure.  No.  I hurt another of you again.  I’m a horrible pony.  I ended up hurting everypony tonight.”

“I’m not hurt.”

“Sure you are.  You’re just hiding it really well.”

Toffee shook her head.  “Look, I know I’ve lost this.  Just, please, why?”  Her eyes were starting to tear up.  

“Toffee…”Yards tried to say.

“No.  Look I know.  I’m not stupid.  This with us, it’s a microcosm of my life.  I had a one in four chance and for some reason I blew it.  I...I…I just want to know why.”  The tears started to trickle.  The cracks in the emotional dam were starting to spread.

“There’s three of you.”

She pointedly looked at him.  “Here, but your heart is split four ways, and my part is the smallest.”

“Toffee,” Yards dropped some bass in his voice to admonish her.

“No.”  The tears were angry and free flowing now.  “I-I just want to know why.  Was I not slutty enough?”

“Toffee, that’s not true!  You don’t have to be slutty to find somepony.”

"I don’t?  You had sex with Starfall, but you won’t with me?”

Yards hung his head.  “I’m not jealous.  It just hurts.”  She pointed her hoof to her heart.  “I love you.  I want you to be happy.  If she is what you want, then fine.  If you want Delta, fine.  But why not me?  That’s all I want to know.  How am I just not good enough?”  Her wings flapped in agitation.  

Yards sighed before mumbling:  “You’re just so...perfect.”

She made a noise.  Yards wasn’t sure if she was laughing or crying.  “Perfect?  Me?”

“Yeah.  There’s never any hesitation.  You always do exactly what you believe is right.  You never screw up.  It’s really hard to live up to that.”

Toffee was definitely laughing now.  “‘Never screw up’?  I never screw up because I never do anything.  No really, when was the last time I ever did anything that didn’t involve a direct moral dilemma?  Never, I don’t.  Why?  Because I’m too scared.  Because I was lied to my whole life.  I did what I was always told was what would lead to the best outcome.  I always do what’s right because that’s supposed to be how you get a happy ending.  But no, who gets your heart?  Two sluts and…” her tears started to flow again, “and somepony who’s already had her turn with somepony.  Do I get a turn?  No I don’t!”  Her wings flapped in anger.  “I don’t get anypony!”  Pain rich tears rolled down her cheeks as she smashed her hoof down.  “It’s not fair!  I’m stuck being alone my whole life.  Unless I’m willing to be a third wheel in a relationship or I take some interests in vagina.  None of those options sound particularly good.”

Yards tried to push through her anger.  “Now that’s no way that’s true.  You’re a great mare.  Any stallion would be lucky to have you as a marefriend.”

“Except there aren’t any.”

“Tof, I know it can seem that-”

“No, it IS that way.  Yards, you know that the usual gender ratio is 40/60.”

“Well, it’s 43.7 to-”

“Those numbers are pre-war.  We lost over ten percent of our population in that thing, mostly stallions.  The new ratio is under 30/70.  You factor in stallions like Astro who ‘aren’t into mares’, or ones too emotionally or physically damaged like Messer to be in a relationship and I’ve got, at best, about a one in four chance of finding a stallion, even if they were all single.  I told you we were a microcosm.  I know I failed this.  Just, please, explain to me why.”

Yards walked up and hugged her.  He held her for a long time.  Softly he nuzzled her mane while she cried herself out onto his back.  He realized just how alike they really were.  He brushed her ear with his muzzle as he whispered to her:  “Because I’m one of the damaged.  You still have your chance.”  She cried harder while he joined her.

“Oh road apples!” came an angry shout from the door.  “What is wrong with you mares?”  Aurora shoved Toffee away from Yards.  She hugged him around the neck.  

“Do you want to know why he doesn’t love you?  Because you don’t love him.”  Gently Aurora stroked Yard's mane behind his ears.  “You don’t care at all about him, he’s just a placeholder for anypony that keeps you from being lonely.  You’re supposed to be Honesty, how can you lie to yourself and to him like that?”

Toffee tried to sputter out a defense, but Aurora didn’t let up.  “And it’s not just you.  All of you are horrible to him.  This poor unicorn had his horn cut off.  Were you there?”

“No...that was Delta.”

“And you wonder why he loves her more?”

“I-We worked together to try and save him.”

“Yeah, I was there I saw how well that worked.  You tried to clean up a mess that you made.  You know what he went through.  Then less than a day later he was shipped out on a new assignment.  Then another one.  He should be in a hospital!  His magic is growing back wrong.  He could lose all of his magic.  Do you realize what that means?  Do you even care about him?”

“OF COURSE I CARE!”  Toffee yelled back.

“Road apples!  Nothing you’ve said since we’ve been here has shown that any of you care about him as a pony.  All any of you want is a bed warmer and a sex toy!”

Catty moved to interject herself between the two, but Aurora let out a deep growl.  Catty squeaked and backed down.

Star came out of the bathroom.  Her towel was wrapped around her rear, holding her tail to keep from dripping on the floor.  “What’s going-”

“And you!”  Aurora launched into the new target.  “You’re the worst of them all!  You’re supposed to be Kindness.  Yet you stick yourself in the middle of two other mares who are already competing for him and you just want sex.  Have any of you ever even asked him what he wants?”  She let go of Yards.  She looked up into his eyes.  “Yards, what do you really want?”

Wow.  He looked around at all the women in the room.  What did he really want?  He smacked his lips.  “A glass of water.”  He said, fidgeting.  “And a neck rub.”

Aurora gave them all a satisfied smile.  “See, that’s all he wants.”

Star snorted and muttered under her breath, “Sure, after I’ve already gotten him off.”  

She stared daggers at Star until she meekly walked over beside Toffee.  

“Come on Yards, let’s get you away from these selfish girls.”  She started pushing him towards the bathroom.

“Aurora, String-”  Aurora growled deeper at Catty and she visibly shrank.  

Aurora lead him to her bed.  It had black silk sheets with a dark blue, squishy comforter.  She pulled the sheets back.  “Lay down and relax.”  
Yards did as instructed while Aurora loaded an album on her phonograph.  Yards recognized it immediately.  It was Hayloft, a concept album that was mostly instrumental.  They had recorded it right before Golden Booty had died so it was drug reference heavy.  

She lit a scented candle next to the bed and walked over to turn the lights off.  Yards was getting worried.  He looked over at the mare as she locked the door to the bathroom.  She took her hat off and hung it on the back of the door.  There was a lock of black hair in her mane behind her right ear.  Her right ear was pierced four times.  There was only one earring in there.  It was a snake that coiled around her ear through all four holes.  Her left ear was pierced ten times.  The piercings were all studs of different colors arranged in triangular patterns.  Her left eyebrow was also pierced with a ring.  

Gently she poured him a drink from a carafe into a tumbler.  “Here.  You wanted a drink, too.”

He smiled and took the offered water while she climbed onto the bed with him.  Her tiny hooves touched his neck and she pushed down, trying to push through his thick neck muscles.  She readjusted herself and tried to get more of her body weight on him.
“Just let me know if I’m too heavy.”

He grunted.  It was nice.  It wasn't enough to get what he needed, but just the attention was nice.  

“Do you mind?”

“Okay.”  He wasn't sure what it was she had in mind, but so long as she kept massaging he didn’t care.  With a slight hesitation, she stood on him, using her whole body to try and get at the deep tissue.  He grunted in pleasure.  “Are you okay?”  

“Fine.”  

She leaned forward, trying to put all of her weight onto his neck.  One of his vertebrae popped back into place.  He gave a surprised grunt.  
“I’m sorry.”  She immediately backed off.

“It’s fine, do it again.”  He already was feeling better and her hooves were starting to get at some of the large knots.  Her hooves moved through his mane and tugged some of his hair.  He grunted, but said nothing.

“Sorry.  It got caught on my shoe.”

“Zokay,” he said through the pillow.  Those small hooves started working up by the base of his skull and he gave more happy grunts.  She wasn’t as skilled as whoever had done it for him when he had been captured, but she was zealous enough that she kept at it.  

“Do you mind if I set down?”

“Mhrr,” he said.  Apparently she took that as a positive and straddled his back.  The twin points of excitement poking him in the back told him how much she was enjoying this, but she behaved herself the entire time.  

The gentle rocking of the room began to time itself with the rocking motion she was using on his tired muscles.  It was like the world was cradling him.  The vanilla from the candle and the gentle music added to the effect.  Gently, his heavy lids began to fall.  His brain had already shut down and his body was following.

> The rest of it.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why was it so hot?  Yards kicked at the sheets.  He looked around and shook his mane out.  Every vertebra in his neck popped into place.  Oh wow.  That felt so much better.  If only his headache and the dry mouth would go away.  He remembered there was a pitcher of water on the nightstand.  Reaching for it, he saw he wasn’t alone.  Aurora was curled in a ball sleeping beside him.  Her ears were pointed right at him, waiting for him to make a sound.  Much like when he had been there for Apple; Aurora had slept on top of the covers, to show her non-threatening support.  It was so cute.  She really was all legs.  He reached out for the black lock.  It had been dyed, the red was apparently her natural color.  

She blinked one eye open.  With a grunt, she acknowledged him.

Yards looked out the room’s window.  The sun was just rising.  “Morning.”  She smiled at him.   “How do you feel?”

“My head hurts.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Yeah, but, I’m not sure.  Kinda queasy too.”

She frowned and put her fetlock against his forehead.  “You don’t feel like you have a fever.  Would you like some oatmeal?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he moved to get up when her hoof hit the middle of his chest.  

“Stay.  I’ll get it.”  She poured him a glass of water, got up, grabbed her hat and walked out the door.  Yards downed the glass and another one trying to get rid of the dry mouth.  Somehow he also still needed to pee.  A quick trip through a locked door to the bathroom later and he slid back into the soft silk sheets.  

There were holes in his memory from last night.  He remembered sex with Star and Toffee crying.  There was Aurora shouting at everypony else, but he wasn’t sure why.  It appeared he’d spent the night with her.  While he was trying to piece it all together she came back with a tray.  There was a bowl of oatmeal, with blueberries, toast, orange juice, and some alfalfa blocks.  

“Where’d you get those?”

“You have to ask for them.”

She sat the tray down on the nightstand and he scooted to the head of the bed.  She climbed back on and nestled beside him. 
“Uhm, Aurora, I don’t want to be rude, but I really don’t remember what happened last night.”

She smiled at him.  “You wanted a glass of water and a neck massage.”  

“Thanks.  We should probably get down there and start getting people organized.”

‘No.  You need a day off.”            

“The investigation-”

“Is being headed by Shining right now.  They’re going over the evidence we found yesterday.  Until we know what’s going on there’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“But-”

She put her hoof on his shoulder as if she could hold him down.”It’s okay, just relax today.”  She scooped up a portion of oatmeal and offered it to him.  

“I can feed myself.”  He took the spoon and started eating.  The oatmeal did a good job of settling his stomach.  In fact, it sat there like cement.  It hurt, but his stomach was empty.  Taking a bite of the alfalfa block he chewed carefully.  His head hurt and chewing wasn’t pleasant.  Drinking half of his juice made his throat less scratchy.  

She put a hoof on his back while he ate.   “Do you want me to work on your back too?”

He shrugged, his mouth full of toast.  Aurora climbed onto his back and started rubbing his muscles while Yards finished eating.
Yards got himself a glass of water while he finished off the tray on the nightstand.  “So, what’s everypony else going to be doing today?”

“Catty’s going to take the others on a tour.”

“Neat, that sounds like fun.”

“Mmhhmm.”  She leaned into his ear. “I’ll be here to take care of you.”

“My very own nurse?”

She nodded her head.  There was a knock at the door.  She got down off of him and walked over to the hallway door.  She growled something then walked out of the room.  Yards yawned and slid back under the silk sheets.  The comforter was a bit much, but he could use some more rest.  All that rest he’d wanted for so long.  Now it was here and he didn’t know what to do with it.  Wasn’t that just the story of his life?
The next time he woke up Aurora was lying on the floor, writing something in a book.  She was wearing what looked like a Nightmare Night “Naughty Nurse” outfit; that was made entirely out of black lace.  It contrasted beautifully with her coat.  He reached for the pitcher.  It was full again.  She was doing a good job taking care of him.  

She turned her head as she heard the water pouring.  Eagerly she trotted over.  She’d also put on her normal copious amounts of eyeliner.  He noticed that spot on her cheek again.  Yards rolled over onto his back, licked one of his hooves and brushed her cheek.  He just had to know if it was real or not.  She closed her eyes and leaned into his hoof holding it there.

“So, are you hungry yet?”  She kept her eyes closed as she leaned into him.

Yards shook his head.  “Not yet, it’s probably going to be one of those where I’m starving all at once.”

“Do you want another nap, or would you rather do something else.”

“I’m not tired.  Maye something to read.”

“I could read you something.”

Yards laughed.  “Nopony’s read to me in forever.”  

Aurora lept to retrieve her book while Yards drank his water then closed his eyes to enjoy this rare treat.  She climbed back onto her bed and sat near him.  

“I hope you don’t mind.  I...uhm, I wrote it myself.”

Yards blinked, refocusing on the unicorn.  “Really?”

She gulped, opened the book and took a breath:
		“Darkness, everything and everywhere.
The fools grub about in their darkness
Everything is always so pointless.
How do they continue on?
Why do they struggle?
Their struggle shines futilely in an ersatz sky.
At last I find my true sunshine
Twin orbs of gold hidden in the grass.
Will they...shine for me?”
Aurora looked down at him expectantly.  Yards wasn’t quite sure what to think of it.  

“It’s better than anything I could have done,” he said honestly  

She gave him a weak smile.  Slowly she leaned down, stroking his mane out of her way.

Is this what he really wanted?  Why not?  They had a lot in common.  Sure, she was a city girl, but that was about the biggest difference.  She wasn’t a part of his team.  He could pursue a relationship with her and it wouldn’t pull his team apart.  It was time for him to actually do something different, otherwise he’d never get any other results than what he’d gotten.  He leaned forward slightly and made contact with her waiting lips. 

She glomped onto him.  Pressing herself against the sheet in between their bodies.  That fabric divider kept him safe.  They couldn’t do anything so long as it was there.  As they explored each other's mouths Yards made sure the barrier remained in place.    
When they finally broke apart Aurora started pulling the blanket down.  Yards refused to let her move it.  She gave him a sad smile and kissed him some more. 

What passed for her weight was against his body.  He could easily toss her across the room, but had no interest in hurting her.  No, she alone was the one that cared about him.  The one that saw him as a pony and not just...what?  There had been something said last night that had made so much sense.  Of course he’d been drunk.  You probably could tell him the sky was yellow and he’d have thought it made sense.  He caressed her neck as she gasped for air.  

“I’m sorry.  I just, I-” 

She smiled at him as she placed a hoof over his mouth.  “Just relax.  I’m here to take care of you.”

He smiled back and kissed her hoof, letting go of the sheet.  She bunched it up and tucked him in tight.  “See?  I’ll never hurt you.”  

As they gazed into each other’s eyes the door exploded.  Yards turned to see Apple’s plot pointing right at them as she lowered her hind legs.  The other girls were right behind her.  “Really?  Three of us weren’t enough for you?  You had to go and get another one?”

Aurora jumped off of Yards and planted herself in between him and the door.  “What do you think you’re doing?  He needs rest and for him to not be stressed by ponies who aren’t interested in his well being.”

“Yards, are you okay?  The girls said you’d been abducted.”

“Yeah.  I just got up from a nap.”

“The doors were locked and they were ordered to not come in.”

“So that you wouldn’t wake him.  He’s hurt and needs his rest if he’s going to get better.”  Aurora walked up to the earth pony and glared up at her.  Apple returned the look with equal amounts of bemusement and bafflement that this tiny terrier would be barking at her fetlocks.  

“Okay.  I found your cult.  Do you want to take them out now?”

Yards threw off the covers as he ungracefully rolled out of bed.  “Cult?”

“What are you doing?  You should be back in bed!”  Aurora spun around, barking at her patient.  

“If we can get this resolved then I can take all the time I need to get better.”  He looked over at the earth pony.  “Have you told Shining yet?”

“No.”

“Great, Catty, go get Shining, meet us in the armory.”

Yards stumbled as the sheets were tangled around his hind legs then made his way to the door.

“But...but…”  Aurora was in a controlled panic.  

“It’s okay.”  He walked out to the hall and down the stairs.  “So, Apple, fill me in.  What happened?”

Well, I’d hate to tear you away from your ‘caretaker.’”

“Apple, you’re not helping.””

“Sorry.”  There was more bitterness than contrition in her voice.  “Well, I went back to the Castle.  I was working next to somepony that was part of this cult, oh Yards, you don’t know how bad this is.”  Once outside they started running to get to the castle.  

“Yards...they...they HATE unicorns.  I’ve never heard anything like what they were saying.  I mean, it sounded like the stuff Toffee told me about from the train, only worse.  I-I cooked for them last night...they, what they ate, oh Celestia, Luna and Faust.  I don’t...Yards…”  Her eyes were rolling back into her head in terror.  

“Apple, focus!  I need you!  Stay with us.  Where did you first make contact?”

“ Uah, She was working beside me in the commissary.  She had been left by her unicorn coltfriend after he got her pregnant.  Said she knew people who could help.  I thought it was going to be a support group.  I didn’t know it was going to be like that, I swear.”
Her emotions were all over the place.  

“Okay, did she take you somewhere?”

She nodded.  “One of the mansions on the Eiriee.It was heavily damaged, but the basement  under it was huge.  There was a whole huge house under it, with kitchens.  It burrowed into other basements.  I don’t know where all of them come out at.”

“So, what did they do?”

“They...ate turkeys.  They’re developing a taste for meat.”

“They made you cook them?”

She nodded.  “I had to, they knew who I was.  They said if I didn’t they’d hurt Rhu.”

“Where’d they get them?”  interjected Toffee.

“I don’t know, mercifully they were already gutted and plucked.  If I had to do that they’d probably just have to kill me.”

“Were they cold?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, so they could have been smuggled in from outside of Equestria.  Possibly from some place like Griffonia.”

“Before they ate it, they put this head on it.  It was a unicorn’s.  They laughed and joke about it.  They were debating what the best way to cook it was going to be.  They’re cannibals.”

A chill went through everypony there.  This was beyond the pale.  

“Yards,” Starfall asked, “are we always going to have to deal with weirdos?” Starfall whimpered.

“I’m afraid so.”

They made their way through the castle to the armory.  Yards was familiar with the correct hallways.  Countless drills had hammered home a path that he could have walked without sight.  He stopped at the Quartermaster’s window.

“Captain McCanter, looking for my team’s barde.”

He looked up from his desk and smiled at the group.  “It’s in Vault Four, Nurse Lance Corporal can show you the way.”
Yards turned to look for the mentioned enlisted.  Apparently he meant Aurora.  She blew her bangs back.  “That’s our vault, this way.”  She took the point.  

Vault Four was under construction.  This fact displeased Aurora.  One side held the six lockers for STARE’s equipment.  The other side they were digging out part of the wall.  There was a series of crates in the back corner.  

Two unicorns were standing in the door, guarding the way.  As the team walked in they came in behind them.  One walked over to Aurora’s locker.  She peeled the nurse outfit off while they started pulling armor out of it’s storage.  Standing stil, Aurora waited for the guards to brush her down and start applying the layers of armor onto her tiny frame.  

It was kinda cute.  The armor was custom made. Not only did it perfectly match her body, but it had the golden STARE flourish.  True to form, the peytral had a pink rectangle on it.  It looked to be medium weight.  Yards was impressed that she could bare that much weight.

The guards walked up to him.  “Name.”

“Captain Yards McCanter.”  One went to go check the crates while the other started brushing down his coat.  It had been a while since somepony else helped him suit up, but he remembered the protocols.  He stood still to set an example for the girls.

“Flight pack?”  One of them asked.

“No.”

“Heavy Weapon?”

“No.”

After they finished his suit up they started working on Apple.  He left his helmet off to keep his color vision.  

“Nice.  Shining won’t let me blacken mine.  Doesn’t seem fair.  Astro still gets to wear his Lunari suit.”

“Wait until you see Starfall’s.”

“Why?”

Yards motioned for the two to work on Star after they’re done with Apple.

Apple’s suit was a heavy plate set.  It was based off of the Lunari assault squads barde.  They could take considerable punishment and usually required an earth pony to support the weight.  Yards wouldn’t have to worry about her safety.The pauldrons were equipped with large spikes so she could ram opponents and obstacles and crush them.

“So, lance corporal, huh?”  Yards asked the new girl while they were suiting up the next member of his squad.

“Yeah, had to be to be transferred to STARE.”

“I thought you were a civy.”

“Nope.  Shining laxes a lot of the dress code for me, but technically I was drafted at the end of the war and am still a part of the military.  It’s how they make me do this.”

“Hey, wait, does that mean that they pay you?” asked Starfall.  Aurora looked over at the suited up pegasus then harrumphed; turning her back at her because her suit was a Solari light pegasi barde in Lunari coloration.  

“Yeah, they do pay pretty good,” she answered over her shoulder.

Starfall gave Yards a pained expression.  He just shrugged.

“What are we dealing with?”  Shining and the rest of the STARE team walked into the vault.

“It’s looking like Morlocks.”  Toffee and Aurora snickered at the reference.  

“Do we have a location?”

“Possibly most of the Airie.”

Shining hung his head.  “Can we narrow it down some?”

“Underneath it.”

“Okay, but, we’re going to need more information if we’re going to get everypony.”

“I’m thinking decapitation.  We smash and grab the head of the cult and the rest of the organization crumbles without support.”

“I don’t know.  Last time we just had one target, this time we’re looking at potentially dozens or so.”

Yards gave him a hard look.  “You’re not just being contrary because I was last time, are you?”

Shining returned with a roguish grin.  “No.  It is kind of funny, huh?  I wanted to go plowing in for one target and you kept telling me what’s legal, now you want to charge into a huge crowd and I’m pointing out that there’s going to be too many getting away from you.”

“There is some analogies to our combat style here, huh?”

“Come on, let’s not get political.  We’re supposed to be comrades now.”

“Toff, how is this one different from last time?” whispered Starfall

“Last time we were intruding into private property.  This time we’re dealing with squatters.”

“But don’t they live there?”

“Not legally.”

“That sucks.”

“Well, I guess.“

“Okay, if you want to cover the other exits...Apple, what’s the name of the one in the kitchen that took you there?”

“Flipper.”  Apple sounded confused.  

“What did she look like?”

“Teal coat.  Pink and white mane.  Two spatchulas for her cutie mark.”

Shining looked over at the two pegasi and nodded.  They nodded their understanding of the unspoken command.  Apple looked back and forth between the two commanders.

“While you’re doing that, I’m going to see if we can get some stuff flown in to help us out.”

“Yards...what’s going to happen to Flipper?”

“Messer and Astro are going to question her.”  

He started out of the vault.  Back before the war, The Lunari’s armory would be back down to the quartermaster and over two corridors.  If Luna was coming home then they should be there again.  

The Lunari Quartermaster was an Earth pony.  He was in his barde, as such any other details were wiped clear.  He saluted as Yards walked to the window.  Yards promptly returned his salute.  “Gunnery, I need a MU13-3A.”

“We don’t keep mules here.”

“I know.  I need one prepped and here in an hour.”

He laughed.  

“Gunnery, move it!”

He turned with a grunt and started filling out the paperwork.  “One support ‘bot, Non-lethal loadout.  Crowd and riot control.”  He checked the time and chuckled as he filled in when he needed it.  “Just need you to sign here.”  He pushed the clipboard to him so Yards could sign it.  Yards pushed the clipboard back and he put the sheet into the sending fire.  

The two stood there, waiting for the conformation.  “So, have you seen the new T23’s?”

“Yeah, they’re pretty sweet.  A little big I think.”

“Well, if you want to get that kind of range, it’s got to be.”

“Sure, but how often are you going to need that much range?”

“During a 10-100.”

The guys laughed together as a return message popped into existence.  The quartermaster checked what it said.  “They said they could have it here first thing in the morning.”

Yards sighed.  “I need it in an hour.”

The Quartermaster shrugged his helplessness.  Yards huffed then shook his head, trying to figure out the next best thing.

“Okay, what do we have here?”

“Well, I can get you the pony level armaments.  What’s your unit’s designation, Captain?”

“We don’t have a designation, Tartarus, they’re not even a full squad.”

“So they’re not qualified for-” a second message appeared out of the air.  The quartermaster read it and his eyes turned to slitted saucer plates.  

“Well, sir, uah, I’m going to need you to come with me.”  He buzzed the door so Yards could come into his office.  This was highly unusual.  Nopony was supposed to be allowed in his office.  He pulled out a key hidden in his armor.  He opened the door behind him.  There were small arms, ammunition, and general supplies on shelves and organized crates.  Behind it was another door.  “I don’t have access to this room.  This is to be opened only by the Princess herself.  Apparently you now are allowed in here as well.”  

Yards put his hoof on the panel and a spell went off.  He could feel it scanning him.  The door opened.  Behind it was a hanger.  It was designed to be Her escape plan, in case they had to extract her quickly again.  In the hangar were two P3G flying escort class automatons.  Their job would be to act as ablative protection.  There was also a W4R P0N1 fully armed with the quad barreled flak cannons, the shoulder mounted bass cannons and the saddle bag mortar system.  The green light in the glass horn rotated slowly.  It was fully charged, but in stand down mode.  This was far more firepower than what he expected or needed.  

Why did she give him access to this?  He knew from personal experience not that long ago just how lethal those bass cannons were.  He’d used them to kill some of Trixie’s men less than a month ago.  There was no way to use it’s flamethrower in a less than lethal manner.  Maybe they could put some tear gas canisters into the mortars.  That would at least deliver the payload.  

Wait, the P3G’s.  They had a smoke screen.  They could swap cannisters.  He started hitting buttons to swing them down to the floor.  They were prepped and ready as well.  The shield units were at full strength.  The rear mounted vulcans could be disabled.  No having them shoot the girls.  Yes, this could work.  

He started swinging hoists to swap out ammo racks inside of weapons and powering up systems.  The work was quick and efficient.  As he flicked through the final checklist he happen to notice it was time.  He walked the two P3G’s through the armory.  Both quartermasters were in awe of the mechanical monstrosities that obediently followed behind him.  

Shining was suited up along with the mares.  Those done had removed their helmets and the civilians were pulling various pieces off to make themselves comfortable.  Yards gave a salute to Shining as he stared in awe of the firepower.  

“Everypony is going to need gas masks that goes in.  We’re going to do this the easy way.”

“Where did you get those?”

“Classified.”

“What are they?”  Aurora asked.

“They’re some of the things I was working on near the end of the war.  We needed bodies, so I started building them.  These are Protection and Guardian models.  They’ve got shield generators and a smoke screen I’ve replaced with tear gas.”

“Isn’t that kind of excessive?” asked Starfall.

Yards looked over at his subordinate.  “It’s for our safety.  We’re going to be severely outnumbered and this will make it safe for everypony.”

“Except the ponies that don’t have masks.”

“It’s better than being dead from a gunshot.”

She frowned.  “Can’t we just talk to them?  Isn’t that what we did last time?”

“Last time we outnumbered him.  You’re in danger.”

“Well, if it’s my life, it’s my choice.”  She started taking off her armor.

“Are you sure?”

“I have to try.”

Yards smiled and looked over at Shining.  “It’s okay, she hasn’t learned the lessons  yours has yet.”

“Let’s hope she never does.”

“Yards, I’m going with her.”  Apple started taking off her armor as well.  

“This is really dangerous.”

“They know me.  Maybe I can get them to listen to her.”

Yards sighed.  “Hang on.”  He pulled the com horns out of their helmets and starting fitting them to their ears.  “This will let us hear what you’re saying and let you hear us.  If things even look like they might at some way become ugly you just say the word and we’ll be in there to save you.”  The girls smiled at him, but he was having none of it.  “I mean it.  This is ridiculously, stupidly dangerous.  I’m going to be at the door going down, waiting for you with one of these.  You see a weapon, call.  You see somepony trying to walk behind you, you call.  If somepony takes three steps at you, you call.”

“Thank you, Yards, for letting me try.”

“Kindness is the only thing that can stop hate.  I’m hoping for the best, but ready for just in case.”  

“Okay, so how are we handling this?”  Shining was bringing things back to business.

“I’m thinking team A”, he pointed at Starfall and Apple Rhubarb, “I’ll be Team B with a ‘Peg’, you and Aurora up on a roof of a nearby building controlling Peg’ B and the pegasi watching the alternate exits.  You send Peg B to hot spots.”

“How do they work?”

“Let me show you.”

As Yards gave Shining a basic understanding of the commands to operate the automaton Aurora walked up to them.  “I want to be with you in team B.”

Yards looked over at her commanding officer.  Shining looked from unicorn to unicorn.  “If I’m in a support role it makes sense to give him some backup.”

She did what passed for a smile for her.  “You know me, I always take care of my things.”  She leaned into his side.  

While Yards finished his instructions for Shining the missing two pegasi returned.

“We’ve got some addresses,” said Astro.

“Reliable?” asked Shining.

Astro nodded.  “Bona Fide made sure she got the truth from her.  Wasn’t happy about being questioned by a unicorn.”

Shining nodded.  “Alright, are we ready?”

Yards looked over at his girls.  Aurora was right beside him, scowling at the others.  Star was doing deep breathing exercises while Apple stood ready beside her.  Toffee swallowed but was steady.  She made eye contact with him and nodded.  She alone in his squad was still in her barde.

Alright, pegasi, take off.  Team A, go ahead and start walking.  We’ll leave in a covered wagon in a few minutes.”

The group broke up.  Yards and Aurora followed Shining to a garage bay where they had undercover wagon being hitched to two plainclothes agents.  Yards and Shining secured the P3G’s to the roof under a tarp before climbing in.” 

Aurora sat beside Yards who was across from Shining.  She wrapped her fetlock around his.  “Really, another one?”  He shook his head.  “You two are a cute couple.  Be sure and invite me to the wedding.”  Yards blushed.  

The ride was largely silent after that.  Just the clattering of the wheels and the clacking of hooves as they were carried to the Aerie.  

Yards looked down at Aurora.  Her barde included a standard issue, side mounted carbine.  They weren’t the most accurate weapons, but they were reliable.  The emblem on it, however, denoted her as an expert marksman.  

The cart stopped and the haulers stomped the go command.  The trio quickly piled out into the afternoon sun. With a quick survey they saw they were in a courtyard of a dilapidated mansion.  They quickly broke out the P3Gs and prepped them for air.  Toffee landed by Yards.

“The entrance is in the house two doors down on the left.”

“Thanks Toffee.”

She looked over at Aurora who was helping Shining fould out a wing.  “Are you sure about this choice?”

“I’m sure it won’t hurt either of you as much as if I picked you or Apple.”

“Do you love her?”

He sighed.  “She’s the first unicorn I’ve been around that I’ve had much in common with.  I want to find out.”

“So...You might not end up with her, but you won’t end up with me?”

“If I have to choose one of you two it’s going to hurt the other too badly.  You two mean so much to me that I never want to hurt either of you.”

She sniffed back tears.  “Thank you for being honest with me.  For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re happy.”  She took to the air and disappeared.

Aurora poked her head around the cart.  “Are you ready?”

“Yeah.”  He walked over to where the automatons were waiting.  

“What was that all about?”

“She was telling me which house the girls are heading to.”

She gave him a look, trying to decide if she wanted more information.  Yards didn’t really pay attention, instead, he was activating his P3G.

“This shield generator looks familiar,” Shining interjected himself into the conversation.

“It should.  It’s based off of your spell.”

He nodded, then put his hoof to the side of his helmet.  “All groups, report in.”

“Group B, reporting,” said Yards into the comm.

“Group C, reporting,” said Shining.

“Group D, reporting,” came Astro.

“How does this thing work?” asked Starfall.

“I don’t know.  Is it on?”  answered Apple.

“I can hear you,” offered Toffee.

“Alright girls.  Let’s keep it open.  Star, Apple.  We’ll hear everything you say.  team D is in position, teams B and C are moving.  Report when ready.”  Yards waved for Aurora to follow him and kicked the P3G to initiate it’s heel command.  The trio made their way down the street.  The sun was high in the afternoon sky.  There was little cover for them to utilize, so instead they used back yards.  At least that way passersby won’t notice and traffic disruption would be minimal.  

“Group C, in position.”  Shining was ready on the roof of his building.  

Yards stopped at the garden next to the target.  Most of the vegetation had been eaten.  There was a stone walkway from the house over a small pond to an island with a gazebo.  The two ponies sat down on the bridge, hiding behind the stonework safety rail.  

Yards switched his com horn to receive only.  “Well, guess this is a heck of a first date spot.”  Yards smiled at Aurora.  

She smiled back giving him a once over.  “No making out on the job.”  There was no echo, she had done the same.

Yards chuckled self consciously.  He turned his mic back on.  “Group B in position, Group A is a go.”  

“Huh?” asked Starfall.

“You can go in and try to talk them down.  If not, we’ll be in to save you.”

“Oh, okay.”

Yards could hear their hooves clopping on the floor of the mansion.  As they came in Apple said “The hardness of my heart keeps me cold.”

There was another voice that was away from the mic.  Yards could make out very little.  It was something about “That”

“This is my friend, Starfall.  She was wronged by the unicorn too.  I thought maybe she could join us, too.”

There was something in the background again.

“Thank you,” said Starfall.  “I try.”

They were moving and apparently being chatted up, as the girls responded to compliments.  Yards blushed slightly.  

“Oh, we walked in on him with a unicorn on top of him in her bed.“

“Well, when you put it that way…” he muttered under his breath.

“Yeah, he’s just a letch.  I can’t believe I fell for him.”  Apple was doing a disturbingly good job of acting upset with him.  

They giggled and flirted with the guards as they headed deeper into the ancient building.  

Yards and Aurora mounted the wall and charged into the backyard of the hideout.  There were a few old shade trees.  The remains of a chimney from an old summer kitchen was their cover.  Yards and Aurora were panting hard, pressing themselves together to share the tight space.  They looked at each other and grinned at the innuendo.  The P3G was in the air above them, resting on a self made cloud.  

The signal was starting to fade.  The ancient architecture and the dirt from underground were interfering.  Yards took another deep breath, looked down at his compatriot and nodded.  They sprinted to the back wall.  They could hear the girls better again.  Yards called down his P3G.  It didn’t look like they had any other guards but the ones complementing Apple on her tail.  

Aurora patched her comm horn into the network to relay the sounds to the rest of the team.  She started fiddling with the gain until they all could hear the other ponies in the room.  

“Good of you to return, Apple Rhubarb.  There were some concerns about your return, I won’t lie.”  The speaker was a male.  His voice was gravelly, but his accent lilted.  It wasn’t something Yards had ever heard before.

“I wasn’t really sure myself.  Then...well,” she sighed.  

“Ah, you had to learn first hand about how duplicitous unicorns are, eh?”

“This is my friend, Starfall.  She was in the same boat as me.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“With the same unicorn.”

“Oh.  I see, he wasn’t content with just using earth ponies, but even our sisters of the sky?”  

“So, what is it you ponies do here?”  Starfall asked.

“Here we seek to liberate ourselves from our true oppressors, the unicorns.”

“So, how are they oppressing us?”

“Look around you at this very city.  Who has the majority of the wealth?  The unicorns.  Less than a third of the total population of Equestria are unicorns, yet they hold over 60% of the wealth of Equestria.  That’s disproportionate.  They’re hoarding all the money.  Without money we can’t get things we need.  They just dribble it out to keep us just above starving to death.  And how do they get their wealth?  By forcing us to do all the work.  We’re the ones that produce all the food and goods yet we’re exploited, eh.”

His voice was going into a sing-song pattern of someone used to manipulating crowds.  “We are earth ponies.  Our heritage is the soil.  We produce all the food, yet they charge us to eat it.  Why?  Food is an inalienable right, why should we have to pay for what we are meant to produce?  They want back that trickle they gave us just to stay alive.  That way we can’t get ahead.  We’re just on a treadmill and the only place we can go to is to the grave.”

There was a cheer around them.  The crowd had apparently heard this before but loved the tale.  “How are they getting rid of us?  They’ve replaced us with their machines.  Apple Rhubarb here lives on one of the farms that the unicorns are using their magic to create machines that replace us.”

“It’s true.  With Yard’s cider machine, it can pick all the apples in an orchard that would have taken all week for an earth pony to do.  While it’s doing that, it can do the work of three other ponies turning it into cider, all while he’s reading.”  Apple was apparently trying to show her change of heart to the crowd.

“And he’s not the only one.”  Yards could hear the smile in his voice.  He was getting creedence from a new supporter.  “Celestia is paying these unicorns to put earth ponies out of business.  What little land that’s left is being worked by small groups of unicorns and their machines.  Earth Ponies are unable to compete with their quantities and what little they can sell it for.  Celestia pays them, so they can sell for a loss.  They can create food with less effort, thereby cultivating more land in the same amount of time, thereby crashing the market for whatever they’re selling.”  The crowd murmured it’s agreement as several voiced personalized slights and tales of woe.

“Luna started a war that killed thousands of us, both of Earth and Sky.  It devastated the land, destroying homes, cities, scorching the land to uselessness.  Even if the unicorns weren’t gobbling up all the good land, there’s not much left that’s not blasted wastes for us to use.  They’ve forced us off the range and into the ghettoes.  That way we’re in one confined area and easier for them to persecute.”  

“Oh, come on now, really?”  Starfall couldn’t hold back any more.

“You don’t think they’re trying to kill us off, eh?  Even after what they’ve done to your people?  Why the genocide against pegasi is so bad they’re not even trying to hide that it happened.”

“You mean the bounty on us having foals?  I’ve been thinking of trying for that.”

“Yes.  Outwardly they’re trying to repopulate the pegsi, but tell me, was the stallion you were considering a pegsi?”

“No, he was a unicorn.  I haven’t met many pegsi guys around.”

“Of course, they were killed off in the war.  The Lunari created terrible machines that killed off earth and pegasi ponies squads at a time.  The only stallions left are unicorns.  They’re trying to turn you into a whore.”

Starfall snickered softly to herself.  “Well…” she said self consciously, “It was just once, I really don’t think that THAT is what qualifies me as a whore.”

“Still, specifics, we’re talking more like all of the pegasi.  The  few stallions that are left are undoubtedly begun courting by unicorn women.  Their only use for us two is for their perverted pleasure.”

“Okay, so let’s say I do believe you.  What are you planning on doing?”

“We’re going to take our power back!  We are going to make them pay for all they’ve done.”

“Have you tried talking to them?”

“They just laugh at us.  The time for talking is past, now we must do something, eh? Or else they’ll just keep oppressing us.”

“Look, Yards may be insensitive and emotionally needy, but he’s not mean.  He makes the machines.  Why not talk to him about making ones for you ponies?”

Needy?  Him?  Did he really come off as needy?  He looked over at Aurora.  Well, he did just grab another woman and immediately...Cez, why didn’t anypony ever talk to him about this?

The stallion inside laughed.  “He has no interest in helping us, he’s too busy trying to bed as many mares as he can.  How could we afford to hire that mercenary?  He won’t even help his own family.”

Yards fumed at that answer.  If his family would have told him they were in trouble he certainly would have helped them.  It wasn’t his fault they didn’t talk to them...was it?

"I’m sure there are others.  I mean, not all unicorns are rich and powerful.”

“They are all privileged.  They can go simply wherever they want and be considered the norm.  Look at pencils.  When you were in school how did you write with a pencil?”

“In my mouth.”

“Why is there an eraser?  When it gets wet from all that saliva?  Because it’s designed for a unicorn to hold it with their magic.  Did you ever try and use a quill?”

“Not for writing.”  

“Of course not, you can’t kept the fuzzy things in your mouth.  Then there’s paint brushes, hammers, really any tool whatsoever.  All designed for unicorns to float around in the air, not for ponies who have to resort to hoof and mouth.”

“They consider us handicapped because we can’t.”  

Careful, Apple, you’re going to make it harder for Star to talk down, though Yards.

The speaker’s tone was more conciliatory.  He was louder, so likely much closer to the girls.  “It’s great that you want to join us.  I understand that you believe in peace and harmony.  I used to too.  But I’ve tried, they just laugh at us or ignore us.  No, force is the only thing that they will listen to.  Force is the only way we can get them to listen to us.”

“But using force on somepony else is wrong.”

“Even in self defense?”

“Well…”

“We’re defending ourselves from ponies that want us dead.  They won’t stop until we’re wiped out.  We have to protect ourselves and our way of life.”

“Trust me, I know how unicorns think.  There’s no room for them and us.  As soon as they finish their machines to control weather they’ll be done with your kind as well.  We must work together to survive.  We are the ones seeking harmony with our brothers and sisters.”

It was quiet for a while.  Softly, Star whispered “the word.”

Yard’s heart jumped into his throat.  This was it.  Aurora was kicking the door in while he signaled the P3G to come down.  They moved as one though they were from different squads they both had the pattern ingrained into them.  Quickly and quietly they cleared room by room.  Searching each corner and every ceiling.  They turned to the right and found the door down into the basement.  As quietly as a summer breeze they made their way down the steps.  The basement was empty.

Quickly scanning around they found drag marks on the floor of hooves going into the wall.  Good girls.  Yards gave the command and the P3G crashed through the concealed door and down a long hallway.

There was yelling coming over the com now.  They had heard their breech and were starting to scramble.  Subtly was out the window as the trio bolted down the hallway to get to the girls before anything bad happened to them.  A stallion stepped out of a bulkhead and the P3G trampled him down without slowing.  

Together they burst into a large underground amphitheater.  Aurora fired into the ground, giving warning and to start them into a fright as she started circling around as she herded them back up the stairs.  

There wasn’t much time to take in the surroundings,  The only thing visible was the  long nosed pony in front of the moon that was painted huge here.  There was an earth pony stallion standing in between Star and Apple.  

“Of course,” he sighed, almost disappointed.  “I should have known you would be here.  Were they in on it, or are you just so possessive you can’t let them be with somepony else?”

He was wearing an old style beret, with white feathers hanging down from the back.  His coat was a soft silvery blue while his eyes, were a deep red.

“I am a leaf on the wind.”  Yards charged the unknown stallion.  The mystery stallion reared up to drive his heavy hooves down onto Yard’s back.  Yards countered by slamming his helmet into his throat.  With a shove he pushed the stranger away from the mares.  

The P3G cantered up behind Yards, trailing it’s noxious cloud behind it.  The command had triggered it’s defensive protocols.  Yards grabbed the spare gas masks he’d brought and slapped one over Apple’s head.  The stallion counterchanged, sending Yards into his machine 
“Apple get the other mask on Starfall.”  Yards shoved at his assailant.  Other doors were exploding in as Astro and Messer charged in.  They started shoving those that had tried to flee back into the central herd.  

Yards snapped at his opponent's legs forcing him to dance back.  Yards dropped down into a guarded stance, waiting for his enemy’s next move.  

The opponent began to spin around to bring his heavy rear hooves to bare.  Yards charged in and threw his hind leg over his hips.  
His enemy balked and tried to buck him.  Yards put the full weight of himself and his armor onto him.  The earth pony was strong and Yards flew.  Quickly he wrapped his forelegs around the pony’s neck.  Yard’s couldn’t stop being thrown off, but he was going to bulldog his opponent with him.  He squeaked in pain as the earth pony landed on top of him, but he didn’t let go.  He locked all his legs around this enemy and started squeezing.  He wanted this pony alive for questioning.  

The combatant started wheezing, he was running out of breath.  He stumbled to his hooves despite the weight and slammed Yards against the wall.  Yards responded by slamming his helmet into the base of his enemy’s skull.  He stumbled and Yards saw what was under the hat.
A long, dark curved crystal had been implanted into his forehead, right where a unicorn’s horn would have been.  I pulsed with dark energy.  What was that thing?  The pulses were coming more frequently.  It was beginning to glow red.  Crap.  Yards jumped off, kicking the psudeocorn into the wall.  He dived for the girls.  “Shie-”  He never got to finish the command before the explosion. 
________________________________________________________________
“Yards, are we going to die?”  The tremble in Starfall’s voice told him that her medication was the only thing keeping her together.  

“No,” Yards lied to her.  The acrid stench of burning flesh clung to everything.  The explosion had covered everypony in scalding viscera.  The command activated just in time to keep the house above them from crushing down all at once.  Now they were just watching it, waiting for the power to fail and crush them under the rubble.

“Is it getting hard in here for anypony to breathe?”  Star was starting to panic.  Yards tossed a chocolate at her across the frame of the P3G.  They had three horse days of food and somebody had the foresight to include kava laced chocolates to help ponies relax.

“It’ll be okay.  This is building debris, not dirt.   If it were dirt then all of it would cover evenly and we’d suffocate.  WIth the walls and furniture and everything then you’ve got numerous gaps for air to flow through.  It’s just going to get warm from there being three of us in here.  It’s okay.”

“Yards, how long will the shield last?”

Yards sighed, trying to control his aggravation at her panic.  “Normal sized bubble is good for an hour.  I dialed the diameter down so we’ve got at least 4.”

“Can they get to us in time?”

“We’re in the middle of Canterlot.  If there’s anywhere they can get enough unicorns to PK the debris off of us, it’s here.”  He could hear water dripping from a cracked pipe somewhere around them.

“So, what happens if they don’t?”

“That’s why I built you two that shelter.”

“No, what about you.”

Yards looked at his lean-to.  It was just the wing of the P3G propped up with a pair of table legs he’d found.  It was nowhere near sturdy enough to save him.  He’d used all the armor plates and “unnecessary” struts to make a shelter that could support the weight.  It was just big enough for two so of course he put the mares in it.

“Yards?”

“Yes, Starfall?”

“I’m sorry.  For, making things hard, between..you know.  Aurora was right.”

“Yes, she was.”

“Yards, I’m sorry too.”

“Thanks, Apple.”

“I guess I didn’t understand how it was affecting you.”

“I tried to explain it to you.”

“You did?”

“Yes.  And you got mad at me.”

“Well, you insulted me.”

“I’m sorry.”  Yards sighed.  “You know what?  I’m sorry that I’m having to constantly apologize for stupid road apples.”

“Yards,”

“No, I’m serious.  I am so tired.  Everypony just doesn’t seem to see me as me.  Delta just wants to feed off of me, you want me to replace your husband, Star is at least honest about just wanting me as a sperm donor so she can replace her lost family.  Toffee.  spffft.  Toffee doesn’t even see me as a real pony.  I’m just some sort of strange surrogate for her fantasies.”

Yards sighed again.  Then rolled away from the body of the P3G and by extension, the girls.  It wasn’t like they could see him.  Maybe that was why this was easier.  He couldn’t see the hurt that his telling the truth was inflicting.  

“I’m seriously hurt.  Does anypony even give a thought to it?  Not the three closest friends.  Not even the princesses.”

“You never show it to us.”  Apple 

“Because I’m the leader.  If I showed you girls how bad I’m hurt then this whole case would still have been unsolved.”

“If I hadn’t left this whole case would still be unsolved.”

“Touche.”

“Are you mad at us?”  Such an adolescent question.  Oh, Star, you had so much to learn still.

Yards gave a low growl while he thought about it.  “No...I think it’s more disappointment.  I lost a limb, Trixie...violated me and my best friends all pile up on me demanding I choose one of them as my bestest best friend.  Even if I wasn’t hurt, I don’t think I could make that choice.”  A small rock fell from the top of their mausoleum.  It bounced off the shield then rolled down to the next level of debris.  

“Sounds kinda like you need to come see my shrink.’

That made Yards laugh.  “Yeah.  I talked myself out of it, but, well...probably.”

“Yards?” Star asked.

“Yes?”

“Could you make the shield a little bigger, just for a few minutes?”

“I’m not sure.  It’s going to cut our survival time down.”

“Yeah, but I really need to pee.”

“Me too.”

Yards grunted and rolled over to look into the internal circuits of his creation.  It wasn’t quite as simple as the girls thought it would be, he’d have to push really hard to move the debris away from them.  It was going to significantly reduce the power.  He tried rerouting the power from the “safety net” that would keep it from crashing should something happen while it was flying to give him the extra power needed.  The debris grunted as it was pushed back.  He could hear the girls moving.  Honestly it wasn’t a bad idea and he probably should follow suit.  

“Yards?” asked Starfall again.

“Done already?”

“No, no, not that.  The shield.  It’s strong enough to keep the house from falling down on us.  So if it’s all equal and stuff, does that mean that it can push as well as catch?”

Yards had to stop and think about what was being said.  “You’re referring to Newponian physics?”

“I guess.  okay.”

“Well, it fell at 9.81 meters per second.  It’s still pushing down on us at the same rate.  Right now it is pushing as hard out as it’s being pushed down on.”

“Oh, so we can’t just reverse it and have it push out?”

“That’s a good try, but no.  I like how you were thinking.”  

“So, can you double the strength and push it all away?”

“No, we’re in a hole in the ground.  It doesn’t have enough room to move it too.”

“Can we push it up?”

“Not a whole house’s worth.”

“What about what’s just above us?”

Yards stopped to consider.  He was going to need some things...Where would he find...hmm…”It’s better than just sitting here whining.  Let me see if I can find the parts I need.”

Yards started fidgeting around.  The P3G had a basic wrench built into it to use to convert parts of it into survival necessities.  It would be a lot easier if he had a real tool set, or his magic.  If he had his horn he could just over charge this with friendship fire and blow all of it out of his way.  

Too bad he didn’t have a prosthetic horn, then he could...hang on.  The mana governor.  What if he took, man his doctor was going to hate him.  He dug through the debris.  He knew he’d seen part of that psudocorn’s horn somewhere.  

There was a piece, and here was another.  “Hey, do you girls have any of those red-black crystals over there?”

“Like this?”  A white hoof held up a piece of crystal. 

“Yup.  Get me all the pieces you can find over there.”  The three scrambled around looking for the crystals.  

“So, what are you going to do?”

“We’ll see.  Depends on how many we find.”

They scoured the ground for a half hour before they had enough for him to work with.  He pulled the tape out of the survival kit and began to arrange the pieces into a roughly 2’ horn like shape before taping it all together.  

“Is it going to be big enough?”

“I think so.”  Yards pulled off his mana governor.  With the shattered latticework he was going to need something to smooth out it’s power flow.  He went to work trying to wire the components into the P3G’s internal workings.  

“What’s going to happen?”  Starfall peered over the back of the P3G.

“Not sure, I’m re-routing the energy for the motion systems, that way the shield stays, just in case.”

“What do you hope happens?”  Apple joined Starfall in watching.

“Hopefully, I can get an energy beam to burn through the debris.  That should make it easier for them to find us.”

“That’s great.”

“Star, I really respect what you tried.  You did the right thing.”

“Thanks.  It just felt right.”

‘Ah!”  The crystal began to glow, the light from it scattered in all directions.  Yards started fiddling with the settings on the mana governor.  He had to get the power to focus from one crystal to another.  Maybe if he set them up in a chain that would work better.  

Suddenly the crystal began to heal itself.  “What the?”  Yards tried to readjust the controls again.  It didn’t seem to change the effect.  It was now feeding directly from the power system.  “Uh, oh.”  Yards back away slowly.

“Yards?”

“Girls, back away.”

The crystal began to grow.  It grew slowly at first.  Then it gained momentum.  It began to push out from the shield.  It’s shiny, obsidian surface began to twist and branch out.  It grew like a tree, it’s roots digging into the P3G’s body and it’s branches began to pierce the shield.  It pushed and strained against the rubble.  

“What is it?”  Even Apple was scared.  

Debris rained down as it began to break it’s way out.  

“It’s our way out!”  Yards started scrambling up a wall section while Star grabbed Apple and started flying out.  As the crystal grew the trio pushed forward, climbing from their tomb until they burst forth into a scene of chaos.  STARE was there as well as several firefighters, it looked like they were finishing up putting out several fires from the explosion.  

Aurora immediately glomp onto him.  “Yards!”

He hugged her back.  “It’s good to see you too.”  She locked lips onto him, pushing his helmet off.

“Are you alright?” she finally asked.

Yards nodded when he noticed she was looking behind him.  The crystal had continued to grow.  It stretched a long shadow with the setting sun.  

Suddenly it shattered into tiny pieces.  Two sets of wings folded as both princesses landed. 

“It seems clear now who our true enemy is, dear sister.”  Luna looked over at her sister.  

“Yes, it appears that Cadence was not successful.”  Celestia bowed her head in sad contemplation.  

“Cadence?”  Shining turned to his liege.  

“Shining, I’m so sorry to have to tell you this.”  She hugged her champion like he was a small child she would have to tell him his puppy was dead.  “Your wife isn’t missing.  Near the end of the war she believed another powerful enemy had gotten loose.  Indeed, that he even was the one who had your sister killed.”  Shining’s eyes turned to steel and he vowed to himself that this opponent would pay.  

“Who is this?”

“His name is King Sombra.  Your wife went to try and stop him on her own.  She believed that with sufficient love she would be able to reach him.  We disagreed, but ultimately, it was her choice.”

“Where is he?”

“Come, we shall prepare your team.”  She turned and waved for Shining to follow.  He gave the order for his squad to follow.  

Aurora was torn.  Yards kissed her behind her ear.  “Go.  Don’t get in trouble on my account.”  She turned and hugged him. 

“I’ll be back right after we’re done, I swear.”  She nuzzled him then turned and left. 

There was a slight ding of metal on metal as heavy hooves landed beside Yards.  He turned to see Messer.  They locked eyes.  Great.  Was he going to lecture him about dating her too?  

He nodded his approval, simply saying “Never shit in your own yard.”  Then he flew off to catch his commanding officer.  

“Yards, I don’t know how you grew that dark crystal, but I beseech you never do so again.”

`It’s alright.  I’m not interested in ever having to face another exploding pony ever again.  

“They exploded?”

“Yes.”

Luna sighed, shaking her long neck.  “Their trek will be long and difficult.  I hesitate to send you.”

“Then, please don’t.  I need time to heal.  I need to go see a couple of doctors and I need to go home.”

She nodded.  “That would be for the best.  Why don’t you take your girls home?  Rest, for the war will be starting soon.”

Yards sighed.  ”Will it ever really end?”  
Luna only closed her eyes
________________________________________________________________
Surrounded by destruction, the painting moved.  The long snouted pony in front of the moon yawned,  stretched and scratched at body parts that weren’t there a few seconds ago.  

“Oh Moonstone, you were so fun.  It’s a shame, really.”  The black outline stepped away from the wall.  Placing a thumb in it’s mouth be blew into his hand.  It popped into existence as a lion’s paw.  “So, Shiny is going to be heading up north to see my old friend.  That sounds like it’ll be entertaining.  I think I’ll go follow them for a while.”