Twilight Sparkle has been given control of her very own nation, and now she has to learn how to lead it — while at the same time trying to prevent one of her new neighbours from invading Equestria.
To test her mettle as a leader, Princess Twilight Sparkle has been given control of her own nation. Thrust into a new level of responsibility, she begins to realise that, while leading the other Element bearers is easy, running a country is a whole new ballgame — a ballgame which she has no idea how to play.
But with the help of her advisor and her friends, she will eventually come to learn what it truly means to be a leader.
Oh, and if she can prevent one of her new neighbours from invading Equestria, that would be even better.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Rated Teen for some occasional profanity and violence.
This story is a crossover with the online nation simulator NationStates.
To see the nation as it currently stands, click here.
(Does the 'Drama' tag even apply to this thing? I'm not sure.)
Twilight eased herself into a comfortable sitting position on the plush cushion, as Celestia and Luna watched her patiently. As soon as she was ready, she looked at her fellow Princesses and smiled.
"So," she said. "I understand that you both wanted to see me regarding a training program of some kind?"
Luna nodded. "That is correct," she replied. "As Princess of Friendship, you already have a lot of responsibility — but the time may soon come when you will be called upon to lead the whole of Equestria. Celestia and I cannot be here all the time, especially when Discord's cursed plants steal us away, or we are required to travel elsewhere on diplomatic business, so it falls to you to lead Equestria when we are otherwise indisposed."
Twilight looked shocked. "You... you really think I'm ready for that level of responsibility?" she asked. "I've only led Equestria once, and that – as you said – was when Discord's vines were causing havoc in Ponyville and abducted you both."
Celestia laid a reassuring hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Do not worry, Twilight," she soothed. "We are not going to throw you into the deep end and expect you to know everything there is to know about running a country, Twilight — so, what Luna and I have done is arrange for you to go to another nation and act as its leader for the foreseeable future."
"Indeed," Luna added. "The people of this country seemed really keen to have you as their leader, after Celestia and I told them about your rise to Princess-hood. In fact..." She giggled. "They have even gone so far as to rename their country 'Twilightlicious,' in homage to what they called 'your apparent greatness.'"
"Wow, really?" Twilight let out a giggle of her own. "That's, uh, really nice of... wait, did you say 'people?'"
"I did." Luna grinned. "The entire country is populated by humans. Do not ask how we contacted them, all you need to know is that they are waiting for you to take control of their country."
"Will I have any help?" Twilight queried.
"You will have the assistance of several advisors, who will offer their own suggestions on how to deal with the many issues you will face. It then falls to you to decide how best to act." She paused. "However, you could always put it to a vote and see what happens."
"I'm not sure about this," Twilight mused. "But if you think that doing this will prepare me for leading Equestria, then I'll do it. When do I leave for Twilightlicious?"
"Immediately." Celestia and Luna spoke in unison.
Before Twilight could question them further, her world vanished in a blaze of white and blue light.
***
Twilight groaned as she opened her eyes, standing up on her hooves and looking around at her surroundings. She was in a small office, which had a desk and a chair large enough to accommodate an alicorn, a few smaller chairs in front of the desk, and a flag on the wall depicting – to Twilight's shock – the back of her head.
As soon as she sat at the desk, the door to the office opened and a man walked in. He bowed to Twilight and cleared his throat.
"Greetings, Princess Twilight Sparkle," he said. "My name is Raymond Bullock, and I am responsible for easing you into life here in Twilightlicious." He grinned. "Do you like the name we chose?"
"Hello, Raymond," Twilight replied. "Thank you for your welcome, and yes, I'm touched that you chose to name your country after me. Now, what can you tell me about it?"
Raymond opened a drawer in the desk and pulled out a folder, opening it and looking over the documents within.
"The People's Republic of Twilightlicious is a tiny, safe nation, renowned for its irreverence towards religion," he said. "Our hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of seven million are well known throughout the region for their efficiency and work ethic, as well as their general suspicion of leisure."
"'Suspicion of leisure?'" Twilight seemed stunned. "Well, I hope that's something that we can address in the near future."
Raymond shrugged, then continued speaking. "The government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Welfare, and Education, citizens pay a flat income tax of twenty-one point four percent, the economy – worth three hundred and sixty three billion bits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Uranium Mining, and Cheese Exports."
"'Arms Manufacturing?!'" Twilight shouted. "And what, pray tell, are these weapons used for?"
"Police and military use, mainly," Raymond said. "Although that doesn't stop civilians from getting their hands on them."
Twilight sighed. "I hope I can steer us away from that path, and towards an industry that is less inclined towards violent behaviour." She paused. "Also, you said 'bits' when referring to the economy. The currency back in Equestria is the bit."
"They're not the same." Raymond shook his head. "We wanted to make you feel at home, so we changed a few things about the country — chief amongst these being the name and the flag. We also changed our currency to the bit... but if you try and use our bits in Equestria and vice versa, it'll just cause problems."
"I see." Twilight put a forehoof to her chin. "Remind me to thank everypony – er, everyone – for their hospitality."
"Yes, Princess," Raymond replied. "Now, if I may continue, the average income is fifty-one thousand, nine hundred and ninety five bits a year, with the richest citizens earning six point two times as much as the poorest. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Finally, our national animal is the timber wolf — no relation to the ones you are familiar with in Equestria."
Twilight removed her forehoof from her chin and nodded. "Thank you for the information, Raymond, though I have to say that there are quite a few things I find troubling. In particular, the fact that rich people earn so much more than the poor. Tell me, can we address that as soon as possible?"
Raymond shrugged. "I'm sure the issue will come up at some point, Your Highness," he said. "Now, speaking of issues, are you ready to deal with your first one?"
Twilight nodded. "I came here to learn, and to do a job," she replied. "So please... send in the first group of petitioners."
Raymond opened the office door and stuck his head out, saying a few words. As he came back in, he was followed by two women wearing business suits — and giving each other evil looks. They both stood in front of Twilight, who motioned for them to sit down.
"So, what seems to be the problem here?" Twilight asked.
"Workers across the nation have gone out on indefinite strike over what they claim are substandard wages in the Arms Manufacturing industry," Raymond said, looking at his notes. "With us now are two representatives from each side of the argument." He pointed at the first woman. "This is Rebecca Licorish, who is representing the union." He pointed at the other woman. "And this is Hope Clinton, who is representing the employers."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Princess Twilight," Rebecca said.
"You didn't come here to be a suck-up, Rebecca," Hope spat. "You came here to watch the Princess crush your dreams into dust."
"If I wanted your opinion, you money-grabbing worm, I would have damn well asked for it." Rebecca clenched her fists.
"Ladies, please!" Twilight interjected. "This is a place of harmony. While you are in my office, I ask that you conduct yourselves in an orderly fashion, okay?" Both women nodded, and Twilight smiled. "Thank you." She looked at Rebecca. "Okay, Rebecca, please present your case on behalf of the unions."
"We are the backbone of this country," Rebecca said. "I don't think that a twenty percent wage increase over two years is too much to ask, do you?" She leaned back in her chair and shrugged. "But it goes without saying that if the government doesn't give us our dues, we will not hesitate to shut the whole industry down. Can you imagine how well the economy would manage without Arms Manufacturing bringing home the bacon?"
Twilight shuddered slightly at the mention of 'bacon,' but quickly composed herself so she could respond. "Personally, I think that the manufacture of weapons which can do considerable harm is not a good way of making money," she said. "But I can see your point: without your industry, this country would see a sufficient dent in its income for quite a long time — or, at least, until we found another way of making the money we needed."
"So you'll give us what we want?" Rebecca asked hopefully.
"Let me hear the other side of the argument first," Twilight replied, turning to face Hope. "Okay, Hope, what would you like me to do?"
"It goes without saying that we pay our employees very generous wages," Hope said. "Especially when you consider that without us, they'd be out on the street." She turned to Rebecca and raised her voice. "Hear that, you scumbag? OUT ON THE STREET!" She noticed Twilight's harsh glare and chuckled sheepishly. "Anyway, my point is this: if you cave in, you make our entire industry uncompetitive, and that is something you can't do in the global marketplace because It'll hurt the whole country. The best solution, economically speaking, would be to relax industrial laws and allow us to fire troublemakers on the spot."
"So, basically..." Twilight mused. "Give you the right to fire anyone for any reason you want?"
Hope nodded. "Exactly," she replied. "Think about it, Your Highness. We'd be able to find people who are actually willing and able to do the work we ask of them, and anyone who is already employed will think twice about causing any problems. We get to keep making high-quality weapons, and the employees get to keep their jobs. It's a win-win situation!"
Twilight sighed. "That doesn't seem fair..." she said.
Hope waved a hand dismissively. "Ah, who cares about being fair in the world of business?" she asked. "Tell you what, Princess, you've heard both sides of the argument now. So we'll take our leave, and you can contact us when you've made a decision."
"As much as I hate to admit it, I agree." Rebecca put a hand to her forehead dramatically. "We've plead our cases, Your Highness, now it's all down to you. I trust you will make the right choice... which, of course, is to side with the unions."
"As if," Hope scoffed. "She'll side with the ones interested in keeping the economy alive — and once she does, I will fire you so hard, you'll think I used one of our artillery platforms."
Both women left the room, still bickering, as Twilight buried her forehead in her hooves and Raymond came up to her side.
"No matter what decision you make when trying to resolve an issue, you're always going to annoy someone," he said. "I think it's best if you learn that particular lesson now."
Twilight looked up. "Out of curiosity, how much money does the Arms Manufacturing industry provide to the economy?"
Raymond opened his folder and flipped to a page. "One hundred and eighty one billion, five hundred million bits a year, which is exactly half our annual income," he replied.
"So, in other words, the country would be done for if I was to ignore the demand of the unions." Twilight sighed. "I think we'd better call in the rest of my advisors, and put this to a vote."
"A good plan, Your Highness," Raymond said. "I will make the necessary arrangements immediately."
With those words, he left the room.
And as the door closed, the room was soon filled with the solid thump of head against desk.
Day One in The People's Republic of Twilightlicious
My foray into the cut-throat world of politics has been... an enlightening experience, to say the least. To think that people are willing to say whatever it takes to get what they want, even at the expense of others, is just mind-boggling.
But at least I have Raymond to help me, as well as the thirty-four other advisors I polled about the Arms Manufacturing strike. They voted overwhelmingly to give the workers what they wanted, so I gave Rebecca a call and told her the good news.
To say she was happy with my decision would have been the understatement of the millennium. My ear still hurts from all the squealing she did down the phone. But while she is happy with my decision, I know that Hope won't be — but as Raymond said, I can't keep everybody happy all at once.
Another issue requires my attention, but it can wait until tomorrow. I hope my friends can come and visit me here — though I can't help but wonder what they'll think about the fact this place has pretty much been named after me.
I'm going to sleep now, it's been a long day.
Mind you... this is just the beginning of a much longer journey.
Twilight flinched as an egg struck the window she was peering out of, closing the blinds with a quick flash of her magic. Raymond watched her as she crossed the room and sat down at her desk, throwing her forehooves into the air with a loud sigh.
"Now that the Arms Manufacturing workers have got their pay rise, it seems that all the other unions have decided to go on strike!" she groaned. "All I saw when I looked out that window was a sea of banners from the various unions: Trout And About, The 'You' in 'Uranium,' and 'Cheese Be With You.'" She paused. "Seriously, who came up with those names?"
Raymond shrugged. "It doesn't matter, Your Highness," he replied. "In the meantime, there is another issue demanding your attention." He opened his folder and pulled out a sheet of paper. "A well-heeled lobby group is pushing for the elimination of regulations that prevent corporations from donating money to political parties."
"Very well." Twilight pointed at the door. "Send in the representatives, and I'll hear them out."
Raymond nodded and walked over to the door while Twilight made herself look more presentable. He opened it and two people – a man and a woman – walked in. They both bowed and then, at Twilight's direction, sat down on the chairs in front of her desk.
"Good Morning," Twilight said. "You have come to me today to lobby my opinion on the donation of money to political parties from corporations. Please, introduce yourselves and then present me with your arguments." She pointed at the man. "You first, sir."
The man nodded. "Thank you, Your Highness." he cleared his throat. "My name is Max Neumann, and I represent the Arms Manufacturing industry." Twilight opened her mouth to speak, but he raised a hand. "Don't worry, I'm not mad about you giving in to the unions — in fact, I was one of the few business owners who were ready to give their workers a pay rise. Anyway, if I may continue?" Twilight nodded. "Right. "This is supposed to be a democratic country, yet these archaic laws say I can't donate money to support a political party and they also put caps on the amount any party can spend on advertising. It's time to stop treating voters like children, and trust them to make up their own minds." He slammed his fist into his palm. "Free the ballot box!"
The woman next to him rolled her eyes and scoffed.
"First of all, Princess, my name is Elizabeth Sanchez, and I'm a popular anarchist," she said. "Now, in regards to what Max said... well, he says 'political freedom,' but to me that is pretty much the same as vote-buying." She sighed. "If these fat cats get their way, then politicians can easily buy their own seat in Congress. And let's face it, a slick advertising campaign can convince a lot of apathetic voters. We need to tighten the laws, not repeal them. Money should have no place in politics!"
She shot Max a glare as Twilight tapped her forehooves together, leaning forwards in her chair. "You both make convincing arguments," she said. "I will convene my advisors, and we will put it to a vote. You can expect to hear from me soon."
Max and Elizabeth both stood up, bowing once before leaving the room silently. Raymond stood by Twilight's side and gently put a hand on her shoulder. "Let me guess," he said. "You don't want to make a decision because you're afraid of what it might lead to."
"Got it in one," Twilight replied. "Ugh, I wish there was another option I could consider!"
"There is, actually." a mysterious voice said. Twilight and Raymond looked up to see a strange man in black standing in front of the desk, upon which sat a bottle of single-malt whiskey and three glasses. "My name is Alexei Wilson, and I have the solution to your problem." He took a swig of his drink, grimacing slightly as the liquid went down his throat. "You always seem to know what's best, Princess, so why not scrap the whole political system? It would make things so much simpler."
"But I've only been here for a day!" Twilight shouted. "How can you possibly think—" She looked up to see that Alexei, as well as the whiskey, were gone. "Hey, where'd he go?"
"That happens sometimes," Raymond said. "You'll get used to random loonies popping up. Mind you, I guess his suggestion is another option that that you could consider."
"What?" Twilight scoffed. "Abolish the government and make myself a dictator of some kind? Absolutely not."
Raymond shrugged. "I guess it's down to how the advisors vote, then," he replied. "Also, there is a fourth option that you could consider... if you were desperate."
"Oh?" Twilight raised an eyebrow at him. "And what would that be?"
Raymond grinned. "You could dismiss the issue entirely," he said. "Sweep the issue under the rug, and just forget about it. Sure, it might come back, but at least you won't have to make any decision that could come back to bite you in the arse."
"I like the sound of that." Twilight grinned back. "But it's like you said, we need to see how my advisors vote." She stood up and stretched her legs. "So, with that said, why don't we go and find them? Heck, let's live a little and get some lunch while we're at it."
Raymond nodded once and the two of them left the room, their steps soon fading into nothingness.
Day Two in The People's Republic of Twilightlicious
Part of me was hoping that, by giving the Arms Manufacturing workers the pay rise they wanted, I could avoid a lot of trouble. All I've done instead is give the other unions cause to go on strike, in the hopes that they can get a similar deal. The amount of people on the streets is amazing... not to mention a bit scary.
Raymond assures me that they'll all get bored and go home eventually, so for now I will do as he suggests and ignore it.
Politics here seems to work in the same way as politics in Equestria, in that there is a lot of money floating about. But, thinking about what Elizabeth said, to think that a large industry like the Arms Manufacturing sector can give an aspiring politician a lot of money is quite worrying. After all, the industry is worth three hundred and twenty-two billion bits per year — so, if they chose to, they could pretty much buy out the whole of Congress a thousand times over! I shudder to think about what that might mean for the people, should it ever come to pass. Probably best not to think about it.
I did get some good news, though. My friends have been given permission to come and visit, so I will finally be able to show them my fledgling nation. Plus, it will be nice to have some company other than Raymond for a change. It's not that I don't like him, it's just that he only seems to want to talk about the job all the time.
Anyway, I can't wait for them to get here. I'd better get some sleep if I want to be well-rested enough.
"So this is your country, Twilight?" Rainbow Dash asked as she looked out of the window at the city below. "Must be cool, being in charge an all, but doesn't it get boring?"
Twilight shrugged. "It can at times," she replied. "But I like to think that I am doing some good for these people, while learning as much as I can about being a true leader."
"Well I for one think that you are doing a splendid job, darling," Rarity said. "Although your office could do with some sprucing up."
"There's no time for that," Raymond said as he walked in. "Another issue has come up, Your Highness, that requires your immediate attention. The increasingly militant Animal Liberation Front struck again last night, freeing dozens of chickens bound for delicious snack packs." He involuntarily licked his lips.
"Chickens? Snack packs?" Fluttershy looked queasy. "Oh, my, that sounds horrible. I hope those chickens are all right."
Raymond shook his head. "They ran onto a nearby highway," he said solemnly. "All of them were killed by passing traffic. Nearly caused a damn pile-up, too."
Twilight shuddered. "Well, send in the representatives." she waved a hoof towards the door.
Raymond nodded and stuck his head out the door and into the corridor, a simple "Come in" being the only thing he said. He was followed back into the room by two women and a man. They all stopped in front of Twilight's desk and bowed before Raymond began to introduce them all.
"Presenting Elaine Li, who is representing the consumers, Louis Han, who is representing those who agree with the actions being undertaken by the ALF and Falala Winters, an economist."
"It's nice to meet you all." Twilight nodded towards the other Element bearers. "These are my friends – Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash – and they will be sitting in during these discussions. I hope that's all right."
"It's fine by me, Your Highness," Elaine said. "But if I may get to the point: these nuts have got to be stopped. They need to face the fact that people want snack packs, no matter how many innocent chickens need to be sacrificed." She paused. "Besides, chickens would do the same to us if they had the chance."
Louis shook his head. "These Liberationists are highlighting an important issue. Too often, these animals are put through needless cruelty — just to make their flesh taste a little more deliciously succulent. I'm sure we could ban the more horrific abuses without putting too much of a dent in our national obesity figures, couldn't we?" He looked at Twilight hopefully.
"Animals have feelings too!" a voice from outside caught everyone's attention. Twilight got up and walked over to the window to see a long-haired man shouting through a megaphone. "My name is Al McKay, and I demand that you free the animals! Ban meat eating!"
Twilight opened the window. "I'll add it to my list of options." she shouted back. "Thank you very much for your opinion!" She closed the window and returned to her desk, just as Al was suddenly set upon by hungry passers-by.
"Ban meat eating?" Fluttershy smiled. "I like the sound of that."
"But, Fluttershy, you take care of meat-eating animals." Applejack raised an eyebrow at her. "So how can ya say that you think these people oughta give it up?"
Fluttershy looked at Raymond. "Can your animals talk?" she asked.
Raymond looked perplexed. "Uhh... no?"
"Well mine can," Fluttershy said, somewhat smugly. "The animals I feed to my meat eaters died of natural causes, and willingly gave me their permission to use their bodies that way. Can you say that the chickens you slaughter for your 'snack packs' do the same?"
Raymond looked worriedly at Twilight, who shrugged.
"Don't mind her," she said. "Fluttershy is an animal caretaker back home, and she cares deeply about animal welfare." She looked at Fluttershy. "We're yet to hear what Falala has to say — perhaps she has a solution to this whole issue?"
Fluttershy suddenly went timid. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you." she hid behind her mane. "Please, go ahead."
Falala chuckled. "Thanks," she said. "Look, Princess Twilight, you don't need to take away the people's right to choose. You just need to build the costs of animal suffering into the price. I think that a tax on meat-eating, in proportion to the amount of cruelty involved, would do the trick. Plus, think of the benefit for the national coffers!" She shrugged. "Of course, poor people wouldn't be able to afford meat — but that's just more incentive for them to get a job."
"I think that's a great idea!" Pinkie said. "Because you kill all these poor animals in such nasty ways, the tax on meat would mean the price of the stuff would skyrocket. That means people won't buy it, which means they'll turn vegetarian, which means all the animals can go and live back in the wild!" She noticed the strange looks she was getting. "What? I don't talk about throwing parties all the time, you know." She thought for a moment. "Although I guess I could throw a 'Welcome Back To The Wild' party for the animals..."
She began rattling off ideas to make such a party work, while Twilight rolled her eyes and addressed the representatives. "Thank you for your time," she said. "I will convene my advisors, and they will vote on the best course of action to take."
Elaine, Louis and Falala stood up, bowed in unison, and then left the room. Raymond waved them off, then shut the door.
"Don't forget, Princess," he said. "You still have the option of dismissing this issue entirely."
"I haven't forgotten," Twilight replied. "But I don't think the advisors will go for it." She glanced at her friends. "So, girls, what do you make of Twilightlicious so far?"
"It seems okay," Rainbow Dash said. "But listening to all these people going on and on about stuff is boring."
Twilight sighed. "I know," she said. "But that's how things work around here. These people look up to me to make the decisions which change how they live their lives here."
"It sounds to me, darling, like you need a break." Rarity laid a comforting hoof on Twilight's back. "Come, I saw a spa on my way here — perhaps a massage will do you good."
Twilight smiled. "Lead the way, Rarity," she said. "Come on, girls, let's take a walk around my capital."
"I'll get your bodyguards," Raymond offered.
"It's okay, Raymond," Twilight replied. "My friends and I are more than capable of taking care of ourselves."
"As you wish, Your Highness." Raymond bowed. "Have fun."
Twilight nodded, leading her friends out of the office and into the bustling streets below.
PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL For the eyes of Princess Twilight Sparkle only
Your Highness,
The following report contains the current up-to-date information regarding The People's Republic of Twilightlicious. I hope it is to your liking, but please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any problems with it — no matter how small you think they are.
Your humble servant, Raymond Bullock.
ECONOMY
At the start of your rule, the economy was worth three hundred and ninety-three billion bits per year. I am pleased to report that this has risen to 1,540,000,000,000 (one trillion, five hundred and forty billion) bits per year, which is an increase of 1,177,000,000,000 (one trillion, one hundred and seventy-seven billion).
As much as it will no doubt dismay you, the Arms Manufacturing industry continues to dominate the economy — although Trout Farming, Uranium Mining and Cheese Exports are doing well.
INCOME AND EXPENDITURE
The average income tax rate when you came here was twenty-one point four percent. In the weeks since, this has increased to twenty-nine point six percent, an increase of eight point two percent — although wealthier citizens pay much more.
Law and Order, Welfare and Education are the governments main priorities for spending, much like they were when you first got here.
The average income of citizens has dropped from the fifty-one thousand, nine hundred and ninety-five bits it was at when you started your leadership. It now stands at thirty-thousand, seven-hundred and seventeen bits per year — a fall of twenty-one thousand, two hundred and seventy-eight.
However, the gap between rich and poor has fallen alongside this figure. When you started, the richest citizens earned six point two times as much as the poorest. Now they earn just twice as much.
POPULATION
Our population now stands at fifty million citizens, up from the seven million we had at the start of your rule. Immigration and rising birth rates are credited with the increase.
DIPLOMACY
There are three other nations in our region, two of which are populated by Equestrians and humans.
'The Equestrian Paradise of Redman4933' is the regional leader in civil rights and political freedoms. Their rulers are named Celestia and Luna — but they have been called that long before we knew of you and the other ponies from Equestria.
As for the name of the country... we believe the original founder lost a bet, and had to give the nation the same name as an online alias he used as a child. We have good diplomatic relations with them, and we trade in both tourists and goods.
Before we were founded, 'The Scottish Land of Insignificance' was the smallest of the nations. Citizens there have some civil rights and excellent political freedoms — though the country is currently in the grip of recession, thanks to their economy taking a nosedive.
Much like the Equestrian Paradise, we have good relations with the Scottish Land. Their leader, Jock Wallace, is a very good man, and is doing all he can to dig his people out of the pit they're in.
And now we come to the final nation in our region, which is bigger than us, the Equestrian Paradise and the Scottish Land combined.
'The Equestrian Apocalypse of GeodesicDragon' is ruled with an iron fist by a man named 'Geo,' a direct descendant of the original founder — who was named, you guessed it, 'GeodesicDragon.'
Citizens are oppressed on a daily basis and have no civil rights or political freedoms. Geo is the country's dictator, and any who dare question him tend to disappear in the middle of the night.
To give you an example of how despotic Geo is, he recently passed a law saying that poets and writers are to be lined up against walls and shot for entertainment.
Now, you are probably thinking that Twilightlicious, the Equestrian Paradise and the Scottish Lands don't need the help of such a large and oppressive country — but you'd be wrong.
The Equestrian Apocalypse actually help us all, by keeping the region safe from invasion. Their military power is colossal, helped by the fact that the Arms Manufacturing industry is the only one the country seems to care about. It is a well-known fact that the Equestrian Apocalypse is in possession of thousands of nuclear missiles — they've even built an orbital laser cannon on the moon.
So far, Geo has not shown us any signs of aggression. He does not demand anything from his neighbours, and so we are able to live our lives free from his influence.
Which is good, because I shudder to think about what might happen if he decides to expand his borders.
This concludes my report on the current state of Twilightlicious. To summarise: you're doing great, Princess Twilight. Keep it up.
Twilight stood at her office window, watching as the people below finished loading a truck with meat. Fluttershy stood by Twilight's side with a large smile on her face.
"I'm so pleased that your nation has decided to go vegetarian, Twilight," she said. "Maybe now all those animals can live their lives in peace, without fear of being eaten against their will."
"We actually voted to ban the more horrific abuses," Twilight replied. "But when nobody could agree on which method of killing was the worst, we decided on this instead." She paused. "It's not exactly banning meat-eating altogether, but it's close."
"Surely it's worth it, though?" Fluttershy asked. "I was with a flock of chickens earlier, and – even though I can't communicate with the animals here – I could tell that they were really happy."
"If that's the case, then they won't be happy for long," Raymond said as he entered the room. "We've struck a deal with the Equestrian Apocalypse, to sell them our surplus meat and animals."
Fluttershy gasped. "That's not very nice!" she squeaked. "Those animals deserve to live long and happy lives!"
Raymond sighed. "I'm sorry, Miss Fluttershy, but the Apocalypse's Finance Minister offered us a lot of money — money that this nation sorely needs if it is to live long and prosper."
Fluttershy turned to Twilight. "Did you know anything about this?" she demanded. "Did you give your blessing to this deal?"
"What? No!" Twilight shot back. "It must have been something my advisors agreed on when they voted to ban meat-eating." She put a wing over Fluttershy's back. "I would never have authorised such a deal if I had known about it."
Fluttershy nuzzled her. "It's okay, Twilight," she said. "I don't blame you for any of this — I blame your advisors."
Twilight nodded. "I'll talk to the leader of the Equestrian Apocalypse, and make sure that the animals are treated kindly."
Raymond scoffed. "Good luck with that," he grumbled. "You are dealing with a nation that recently passed a law saying that people need a license to have children — and that anyone who fails the test to obtain such a license has to be 'fixed.'"
Twilight and Fluttershy shuddered as the door opened to reveal Applejack, Pinkie, Rarity and Rainbow Dash. The four of them walked in and sat down in front of Twilight's desk.
"I've never seen so many dead animals before." Rainbow Dash held a hoof to her mouth, as if trying not to vomit.
"Those vehicles won't be here for much longer, Rainbow Dash." Rarity patted Dash on the back. "Just... try not to think about it."
"Workin' on a farm means that I've had to witness a few of mah cows and pigs passin' on," Applejack said. "Just one o' them there 'lorries,' I think they're called, was filled with more dead animals than I've seen on Sweet Apple Acres in ten years."
"We should remember them," Pinkie said, her mane and tail not as puffy as they usually were. "I can put together a small party — not to celebrate their deaths, but to celebrate the lives they've had."
Twilight and the others nodded solemnly, but were broken out of their thoughts by Raymond loudly clearing his throat.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, Your Highness, but we still have work to do." He opened his folder and leafed through it. "I'm not sure if you are aware, but blood and organ transplant numbers are down across the country. As a result, hospitals would like to offer people an incentive – money, in other words – for donating."
"Is the situation really that desperate?" Rarity wondered aloud.
Raymond nodded. "It certainly seems that way," he replied. "There are two people currently waiting to speak with you. One is Doctor Bruce al-Zahawi, administrator of the hospital here and the other is Georgina de Groot, a social commentator. Will I bring them in?"
"Please do." Twilight motioned towards the door and sat down.
Raymond dipped his head and walked over to the door. As soon as he opened it, he was nearly knocked over by the two people who stormed in. They stopped in front of the desk, bowed, and then sat down without being asked.
"Your Majesty," one of them said. "I am Bruce al-Zahawi, chief administrator of Twilightlicious' biggest hospital, and I am here to beg you for your assistance. We remain critically short of blood plasma and various organs, especially hearts. A good heart is hard to find — but if we were allowed to pay for donations, we'd get more of them and could save more lives. Plus the donor takes home a few hundred bits in compensation." He paused. "Unless it was a post-mortem donation, of course, then we'd pay the family."
"Great idea," Georgina said sarcastically. "Except for one thing. You know who's going to be selling their organs? Poor people! They'll be so desperate for money that they'll sell their own kidneys... well, a kidney. This is just another way for the rich to buy themselves a better life at the expense of the poor, and it must be outlawed."
"But if it means saving lives, surely we can allow hospitals to pay people a few hundred bits for donating?" Twilight asked.
"And where would the hospitals get all of the money they need to pay people?" Georgina replied. "You'd have to increase taxes to justify the sudden increase in the healthcare budget!"
"A tax increase is the last thing we want," Bruce interjected. "But as of this moment, we are out of ideas. People are going to die without the life-saving transplants they need."
"Don't play the sympathy card!" Georgina snarled.
"Better to be sympathetic than a penny-pinching sack of—"
"ENOUGH!" Rainbow Dash suddenly shouted. "You two are driving me crazy with your pointless arguing! Look, just leave it to Twilight's advisors. They'll vote on it, you'll have a decision soon, and then everypony can shut up and move on."
"Thank you, Rainbow Dash," Twilight said. "Not exactly the most... eloquent way of putting it, but she does have a point. I will bring this issue to my advisors, and they will debate." She smiled politely. "You will both hear from me first thing tomorrow."
Bruce and Georgina both nodded mutely, then stood up and left without uttering another word between them.
"Straight to the point as always, Rainbow Dash." Twilight facehoofed. "Next time, let me intervene in arguments, okay?"
"Sorry, Twi." Dash chuckled sheepishly. "But I had to do something, because they were just getting so... childish."
"People are very passionate about their beliefs here," Raymond offered. "You'll find that arguments like that happen all the time."
Dash shrugged and turned her attention to the window, her wings twitching in eager anticipation, while Twilight cleared her throat.
"Raymond, could you please fetch my advisors? This is an important issue, and I'd like them to debate and vote on it as soon as possible." Raymond nodded and left the room. "As for us, girls, I think we need to go out for lunch — because Rainbow Dash looks ready to explode if she doesn't get some flying done."
Dash grinned, her wings continuing to twitch madly as she followed Twilight and the rest of her friends out of the office.
Fluttershy turned off the lights, and soon all was quiet once more.
A few days after passing the law that allowed hospitals to pay people for donating blood and other organs, I've been informed that a lot of college students are paying for their tuition by selling their kidneys. How much is college education here, if people are willing to go to those lengths to pay for it? I hope an issue comes up at some point that addresses the expense.
Speaking of issues, I had an interesting conversation with one of my advisors after the last vote. He wouldn't tell me his real name, instead choosing to refer to himself as 'The Foreman.'
"While I think it's interesting you've included us in deciding what happens by naming us as your advisors, I have to say that you are learning jack shit about leading a government."
I was stunned. "Whatever do you mean?" I asked.
"Well," The Foreman replied. "You come in, agree on whatever we decide and then hear the next problem. There is no point in this equation where you face the consequences of your own decisions as the leader." He folded his arms. "If something were to go wrong, you could blame it on us and be entirely in the right."
I pondered his words for a moment, then realised he was correct. It's high time I started acting like a leader, so I have told Raymond that I will personally be making decisions until further notice.
The Princesses did not send me here to listen to advice, they sent me here to lead this nation. And I can't very well do that if I don't take some initiative every now and again. I understand that my choices may upset some people, but that is unavoidable.
I had better stop writing now, as I have work to do — starting with... children in casinos?
Twilight stood motionless, watching as several aircraft flew over her office building. Her friends stood nearby, each of them also watching in silent awe at the display unfolding before them.
"It's a magnificent sight, I'll admit that much." Raymond suddenly appeared at Twilight's side. "But I'm afraid this impromptu air show isn't for entertainment purposes — it just means that the Equestrian Apocalypse is on the warpath again."
Twilight sighed. "What happened this time?" she asked.
"An assassin made an attempt on Geo's life the other day, but he failed to kill him and instead got himself captured. He was then tortured mercilessly for a week, during which he admitted to having been sent by the leaders of a country called Blackacre." Raymond and the girls flinched as one of the aircraft suddenly flew by just metres from the building. "The GDAF is on its way to bomb Blackacre's capital — and, unfortunately for us, the only way for them to get there is through Twilightlicious."
"And they know we're not exactly going to stop them from coming this way," Twilight muttered. "Oh, well, it's a good thing I know a sound suppression spell." Her horn flared with magic and the room suddenly went quiet. "Much better. Perhaps now I can concentrate on these issues without all of that noise."
Raymond smiled. "A wonderful idea, Your Highness," he said. "And let me just congratulate you for deciding to take the initiative and deal with these issues without consulting your advisors."
"If I am to lead this nation, then I must do exactly that: lead." Twilight nodded. "It was wrong of me to rely too much on my advisors, as I could easily shift the blame to them if things were to go wrong as a result of their decisions. A true leader must be ready and willing to accept responsibility, and that is what I aim to do."
"Glad to hear it, Princess," Raymond replied. "The first issue that confronts you today is a simple one: children as young as eight have been spotted gambling in some of the seedier casinos within Twilightlicious. There is a call to ban this practice, and two people from both sides of the argument for and against are outside."
"Send them in, please."
Raymond opened the door, at which two people – a man and a woman – walked in and bowed to Twilight before sitting down in front of her. They looked at each other for a moment, and the man nodded at the woman.
"Oh, I go first? Very well." she looked at Twilight. "My name is Imogen Parke, and I'm just going to cut straight to the chase. Gambling needs to be outlawed immediately. It's no wonder children are becoming sucked into the vice, with adults setting such a poor example. Gambling is a stain on this great nations international reputation and it must be stopped!"
The man rolled his eyes and sighed. "First of all, Your Highness, my name is Roger Dodinas, and I am the chairperson of the Crown Casino. Seriously, though, what's wrong with children gambling? It prepares them for the realities of life, and teaches them that success or failure is not due to hard work or intelligence, but the roll of the dice." He paused for a moment. "Besides, if kids weren't gambling, then they would be spray painting trains."
Twilight nodded. "I understand your concern, Imogen," she said. "And I agree that something needs to be done. Children must not be exposed to this sort of thing, and so it is for that reason that I am going to rule in your favour. Gambling will be outlawed at once."
"You cannot be serious!" Roger shouted. "The gambling industry may not be as large as the Arms Manufacturing industry, but it still provides much needed funding to the economy! To outlaw it would spell disaster for the national coffers!"
"Raymond," Twilight called out. "Can you tell me exactly how much money the Gambling industry puts into the economy?"
Raymond picked up his folder and flicked through it. "Not much, to be honest," he said. "Nations throughout the world use a system called the 'Kelly Criterion Productivity Index' to measure the strength of their Gambling industry, our score on which is one."
"One what?" Roger demanded. "Hundred? Thousand? Million?"
"No." Raymond shook his head. "Just one." He looked at the sheet again. "The Equestrian Apocalypse scores four, Insignificance scores negative four and the Equestrian Paradise scores negative six."
"Thank you, Raymond." Twilight smiled at him, and turned her attention back to Roger. "I'm sorry, Roger, but I hardly think that outlawing Gambling is going to put a dent in the budget."
Roger sighed. "Fine," he replied. "By your will, Princess. I guess I can find another industry to move into." With that, he stood up, bowed, and left the room.
Imogen stood up and bowed as well. "Thank you for taking my side, Princess Twilight," she said. "You're doing the right thing."
Twilight nodded and watched as Imogen left the room. As soon as the door closed, she let out a groan.
"I certainly hope I am," she muttered, as her friends gathered around her with smiles on their faces.
"So, darling," Rarity said. "How does it feel to have made your first executive decision? I must agree with Imogen, though, gambling is indeed a vile practice. You made the right choice in banning it."
"Time will tell, I guess," Twilight replied. "Okay, Raymond, what's next on the agenda for today? What issue do I deal with next?"
"Well, there have been increased calls for Twilightlicious to introduce the death penalty as a form of punishment for the most serious of crimes," Raymond said. "Several rallies have been held over the last few days for—" He was cut off by a ringing noise. Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved his mobile phone. "Excuse me for a moment, Your Highness." He pressed a button on the device and held it to his ear. "You're through to Raymond Bullock, advisor to Princess Twilight, how can I help you?"
Twilight and the girls watched warily as the colour drained from Raymond's face. "He's here? Right now? Why?" He listened to the reply. "God dammit, he's not going to leave until she speaks to him, is he?" He sighed. "Fine, send him up." He ended the call and put his phone back in his pocket, then rubbed his temples.
"Raymond?" Twilight looked concerned. "What's going on? Is there another problem I need to be made aware of?"
"I don't consider myself to be a 'problem,'" another voice said. "I consider myself to be the 'solution.'"
Twilight looked slowly to her office door, at which stood a familiar figure and several heavily-armed soldiers, and gulped.
Twilight walked in silence, following Raymond down a dimly lit corridor deep underneath the Capital Building. No words were exchanged between the two, as the serious look on their faces were more than enough to convey the seriousness of the situation.
"This way, Princess." Raymond struggled for a moment to open a heavy steel door. "The rest of the regional leaders are ready to communicate via video link from their respective capitals."
Twilight smiled weakly and walked into the room. It was windowless, the only light coming from a small lamp on a table in the middle of the tiny space, as well as three large screens on the wall. On one screen, the worried faces of Celestia and Luna of the Equestrian Paradise looked on solemnly. On another, a tired looking Jock Wallace of Insignificance was talking to someone. But on the third screen, only an empty room could be seen.
"Take a seat, Princess," Raymond said. Twilight and the others did as he asked. "All right, everybody, we're here."
"Good to see you, Raymond," Jock said. "You as well, Princess Twilight. I trust you have been briefed on the situation?"
"I have," Twilight replied. "I never thought that zombies would actually exist, but I guess I was wrong." She shuddered. "Now, what is being done to contain the situation?"
"The Equestrian Paradise and Insignificance are attempting to research a cure for our respective citizens," Celestia said. "Progress is slow, and new infections are being reported by the hour. All the regional borders have been closed in an attempt to contain the spread of the virus which is causing this."
"I see." Twilight nodded. "I have also ordered my scientists to work on a cure, so perhaps we could share our knowledge?"
Luna smiled. "A wonderful idea," she said. "As long as this link stays active, we can help each other advance our research. Who knows, we might even come up with a cure in record time."
"A cure?" Geo's voice came through the speakers of the third monitor. "I've already got a cure, as it happens."
Geo came into view, brandishing an assault rifle. He patted it gently and looked at the camera. "Here's your cure," he spat. "I have ordered my military to exterminate any and all zombies." He grinned. "In fact, I've even went so far as to drop a couple of nukes on one of the infected areas."
"Don't you care about your people?" Twilight asked.
"Hell, no!" Geo shouted. "If they were stupid enough to get themselves infected, then they deserve to die."
"You're a madman, Geo." Jock hung his head and sighed.
"Indeed," Celestia added. "Surely, with all your research and development departments, you would be able to come up with a more humane way to deal with this crisis?"
Geo rolled his eyes. "'Humane' is how you hippies deal with things," he snarled. "Here in the real world, we deal with our problems in a more realistic way — by bombing them back to the Stone Age."
"In the 'real' world, people have this thing called 'compassion.'" Jock looked up slowly. "You should try it some time."
"But I am being compassionate," Geo shot back. "I'm giving the infected a quick death... albeit by nuclear vaporisation."
Jock went to speak, but was interrupted by Luna.
"Just leave it, Jock," she said. "There is no arguing with him."
"Geo," Twilight said. "If you are not going to contribute anything worthwhile to this discussion, please leave. We will deal with the problem our way, and you can deal with it your way." She looked him straight in the eyes and grinned. "Just don't come crying to us when you realise you have no-one left to oppress."
Geo waved a hand at her dismissively and stood up to leave the room, the signal terminating as he did so. Twilight sat back in her seat, as Raymond started clapping.
"Wow!" he exclaimed. "You've got guts, Princess, standing up to him like that. None of us have ever had the courage."
"I've dealt with his kind before," Twilight replied. "But enough about the mad plans the Apocalypse has, we've got people to save." She stood up and faced the two remaining screens. "Let us double our efforts and come up with a cure — the lives of millions are depending on the research we are undertaking."
Celestia, Luna and Jock nodded determinedly and stood up, all three of them disappearing from sight. As the last one left, Twilight looked at the ceiling and sighed.
Twilight stirred slowly, raising her head to meet Raymond's gaze. He had a smile on his face for the first time since the pandemonium of the zombie invasion gripped the nation, a smile Twilight was quick to return with one of her own.
"Good news?" she repeated. "Please, do share."
"Our scientists have managed to find a cure for the zombie virus, and have developed special missiles we can use to deploy it. The thing is, we can only use them on other nations within the region."
"Well then, it's a good thing the Paradise and Insignificance are working on a cure too," Twilight replied. "I assume their research is paying off?"
Raymond nodded. "It is indeed," he said. "I was talking to Luna, Celestia and Jock earlier, and we agreed to help each other out. The Paradise will fire these 'cure missiles' at Insignificance, who will use theirs on us, and then we use ours on the Paradise."
"What of the Apocalypse?" Twilight asked. "Have they wiped themselves out yet?"
Raymond shook his head. "The Apocalypse is reporting that they have zero infected within their borders." He sighed. "They have solved their problem, but at the cost of one billion, seven-hundred and thirty-five million, two-hundred and sixty-eight thousand, two hundred and sixty-seven dead."
Twilight gasped. "They wiped out over twenty percent of their population instead of helping them?" she shuddered. "It's just as well we didn't ask for their help in dealing with our own zombie problems. With the size of the Apocalypse's military, you and I would soon be the only individuals left in all of Twilightlicious!"
"That's another thing." Raymond scratched the back of his head nervously. "We've had reports that GDA troops have been raiding our cities and purging our infected citizens."
Twilight narrowed her eyes. "How many?" she demanded.
"Nearly a million dead so far," Raymond muttered. "We must press on with our deployment of the cure missiles, before the Apocalypse wipes out a massive chunk of our population."
"Then let us begin," Twilight said. "Tell me what I have to do."
***
"Missile away!"
"Copy that, Paradise, one million infected cured. Keep 'em coming!"
"Understood, Insignificance, we'll get this sorted ASAP."
Twilight listened intently, as a constant barrage of radio conversations assaulted her ears. Across the region, missile fire was being exchanged with the intent of curing the infected and bringing an end to the zombie invasion.
"Dammit, GDA troops just took out some of our infected. Uou need to keep those missiles coming, Paradise!"
"Copy that, Insignificance, we're going as fast as we can."
"Twilightlicious to the Paradise, missiles heading your way."
"Understood, Twilightlicious, missiles received and appreciated."
"Twilightlicious, this is Insignificance. You've got more GDA forces approaching from the south-west."
"We see them, Insignificance, but we can't do anything about it."
Twilight sighed. "Why can't they leave us alone?" she asked. "Why do they think we need their 'help?'"
"Because they're bigger than us," Raymond replied. "They know that we're too small to stop them, so they do as they please."
"Keep it up, Paradise," the radio crackled. "An estimated eight million infected still remain in Insignificance."
"Hopefully we can end this with as few dead as possible," Twilight said. "Then, hopefully, the Apocalypse will see that you don't need to solve all your problems by throwing soldiers at them."
"I doubt that they will." Raymond shrugged. "But it's worth a try."
"A couple more missiles, Paradise, and we've got this in the bag!"
"Understood, Insignificance. Sending more of the good stuff now."
"Another successful strike, Paradise. Less than two million infected remaining in— wait, what the hell is... oh, crap!"
"What is it?" Twilight asked.
There was a moment of silence before the radio operator replied. "GDA troops have just wiped out the last of our infected."
"What?!" Twilight and Raymond shouted in unison.
"We have no infected remaining anywhere in the country," he said solemnly. "Estimated casualties... over three million."
"Damn, we need to hurry," Twilight snarled. "Raymond, start preparing our own missiles for use against the Paradisian infected."
"At once, Your Highness!" Raymond rushed over to the control panel. "Preparing to fire cure miss—"
"You can't use your missiles yet, Princess, because we've just launched one at you," Jock said. "We don't know why, but being hit by a cure missile or raided by a Tactical Zombie Elimination Squad seems to put a three-minute lockdown on your weapons. We've cured the last of your infected, and you now have no zombies, but you won't be able to help the Paradise until that lockdown is over."
"Do not worry, Princess Twilight," Celestia's serene voice came out of another radio. "We shall wait until you are ready to assist us."
"I'm afraid we might not have much time, sister," Luna said. "We've just detected ten battalions of GDA troops heading this way."
"Then all hope is lost," Twilight said. "Our missiles won't be ready in time to stop them from killing everyone."
"GDA troops attacking Quarantine Zone Delta-Six," the Paradisian radio operator said. "Over three million dead so far."
"I'm so sorry, Celestia and Luna," Jock said. "I didn't think that—"
"Do not worry yourself, Jock," Celestia said. "We all knew that it was only a matter of time before the GDA turned its attention to dealing with our infected, much like they did yours."
"But you stand to lose more citizens!" Twilight hung her head. "I should have acted sooner, maybe then I would have—"
"Accepting loss is one of the hardest lessons a leader must learn, Princess." Raymond put a hand on Twilight's back. "It's not pretty, I know, but such is the way of the world here."
Twilight wiped her eyes and sat on her haunches dejectedly, while Raymond put an arm around her in a supportive gesture.
"You're right, Raymond," she said. "If I am to become a good leader, I need to learn that there are some things I cannot control. And at least we can all take solace in the fact that we had the support of good friends during this whole crisis."
"Aye, that much is true," Jock said. "We may have lost a fair amount of our people, but I think we can all agree that the true victims in this whole sorry affair are the poor souls killed within the borders of the Apocalypse." He paused. "May our own people never know suffering on such a horrific scale."
"Hear, hear." Celestia and Luna spoke in unison.
Just then, a loud beeping noise came from the control panel.
Raymond's face lit up. "Princess Twilight," he said eagerly. "The lockdown is finished — our missiles are ready to fire!"
Twilight's head shot up. "Fire as many as you can, then, and stop the GDA from slaughtering more innocent people!" she ordered.
"At once!" Raymond pressed a button. "Missiles away!"
"Copy that, Twilightlicious," the Paradisian radio operator said. "The Paradise acknowledges incoming missiles."
Silence prevailed for a moment, the only noise being the ticking of the clock. After a minute, the radio crackled back to life.
"Direct hit!" the radio operator was overjoyed. "Last remaining infected have been cured. The Paradise is now zombie free... but the GDA has managed to kill over twelve million citizens."
Twilight watched the birds flying past her office window eagerly, their gentle chirping lifting her spirits and putting a smile on her face. Below, the people of Twilightlicious carried on as though the terrible events of the last thirty-six hours had never happened.
Raymond entered the room, followed closely by Jock, Celestia and Luna, and announced his presence with a small cough. Twilight turned around, her smile growing brighter, and walked over to the small group. Jock held his hand out, and Twilight shook it firmly, then watched as she accepted a hug from the other two women.
"It's so nice to see you all in person again," Twilight said as she walked to the conference table in the middle of the room, signalling for her guests to take a seat. "I'm glad this whole zombie business is over, and I certainly hope it never happens again. The loss of life was simply unimaginable, no thanks to those fools in the GDA."
"Indeed," Jock replied. "We did a count, and I can confirm that the GDA killed three million, three hundred and one thousand, eight-hundred and ninety-six Insignificant citizens." He paused. "Still, that's a survival rate of ninety-nine point nine one percent."
Twilight nodded and took a piece of paper Raymond offered. "Our own losses numbered two million, nine-hundred and fourteen thousand, eight-hundred and sixty-seven, which makes for a survival rate of ninety-nine point seven one percent."
"Our losses were numerous," Celestia said. "The GDA sent hundreds of thousands of troops into our quarantine zones, and the delay in launching cure missiles – which, I say again, is nobody's fault – meant that they were able to kill twelve million, ninety-five thousand, four-hundred and sixty-eight people. That is a survival rating of ninety-nine point seven eight percent."
"So while you lost the most people, Twilightlicious had the lowest survival rate because our population is smaller..." Twilight paused for a moment. "Then again, these numbers pale into the losses suffered over in the Apocalypse. Raymond, do you have the count?"
"I do." Raymond flipped through the sheets he was holding and took one out. "One billion, seven-hundred and thirty-five million, three-hundred and twelve thousand, seven-hundred and fifty-one. That's a survival rating of seventy-nine point one two percent."
Everyone shook their heads in disbelief.
"Dreadful," Luna said. "Absolutely dreadful."
"Dreadful?"
All eyes turned to the door as Geo strode in, accompanied by his usual consignment of armed soldiers. He took a seat at the table and leaned back, forming a pyramid shape with his fingers.
"I don't seem to remember inviting you here," Twilight spat. "But I suppose I can't exactly ask you to leave."
"You can if you want." Geo grinned. "I just won't listen to you. Anyway, I just wanted to say that what my men did wasn't 'dreadful,' it was necessary. We didn't bother to research a cure because we don't have a properly funded healthcare system, as most of our budget – eighty odd percent – is spent on the military."
"You could have at least tried," Twilight snarled. "We would have been more than happy to share our own research with you."
Geo shook his head. "When I say we don't have a properly funded healthcare system, I mean we don't have a healthcare system at all. That is why I made the decision to purge the infected, rather than given them a chance to destroy my glorious Apocalypse."
Twilight gasped. "No healthcare?" she asked. "But... what happens to those who get ill or hurt themselves?"
Geo shrugged. "Screw 'em," he said. "Survival of the fittest, my dear Princess, that is something everyone in the Apocalypse knows, understands and accepts without question."
"How can you be so callous?" Twilight demanded. "What gives you the right – as the saying goes – 'to play God?'"
"'Play' God?" Geo laughed, as did the soldiers with him. "Princess Twilight, in the eyes of my people... I am God."
Twilight looked stunned, although Jock, Celestia, Luna and Raymond seemed unphased. The latter leaned over and spoke.
"The national religion in the Apocalypse is 'Geotology,'" he whispered. "Geo is seen as the country's leader, protector and provider. All other religions are banned, and to practice them would mean an instant – and very painful – public execution."
Geo stood up. "It's all right, Princess," he said. "You'll get used to basking in my glory eventually, much like these three have." He swept a hand over the other three leaders. "Anyway, I'm done here. I just wanted to let you know that I stand by what I did. The Apocalypse may have lost a lot, but it will persevere."
With that, he and his guards turned around and left the room.
"I can't believe him!" Twilight growled. "How can you three let him get away with this kind of behaviour?"
"With respect, Twilight, you don't know anything about our past history with the Apocalypse," Jock said. "In fact, over a hundred years ago, our two nations tried to invade it."
Twilight looked downcast. "I'm guessing it didn't go well?"
"It did not," Luna said. "We outnumbered the Apocalyptian army by five to one — but given their military expenditure, they were in possession of weapons and equipment far in advance of our own."
"They slaughtered our forces like cattle," Celestia added. "The Apocalyptian troops fought with a savagery and cunning the likes of which we had never seen. They smashed our flanks and carved a path through our lines, forcing us into a humiliating rout."
"Their army didn't pursue us, as we thought they would," Jock continued. "But there was a reason for that: as we got close to our original rally point within the Paradise, the Apocalypse launched a nuclear missile. Most of the survivors of the battle were vaporised, and thousands more made ill by fallout."
"The next day, the Apocalypse demanded that we all surrender, or we would 'get more of the same.'" Luna stifled a sob. "We had no choice but to give in to their demands, which included letting them build and station a navy within our waters; paying them trillions of bits in reparations; and cutting down on our own militaries. Insignificance opted to keep a small militia for self-defence, while the Paradise decided to go for a completely pacifist approach — the losses we had suffered were too numerous, and the populace weren't too keen on war after what happened."
"I'm so sorry," Twilight said. "I didn't know, please forgive me for my harsh words. I didn't mean them, it's just... I don't like bullies."
"Neither do we, Princess," Jock replied. "But as much as I hate to admit it, those damned bullies are the only thing standing between us and complete and total annihilation."
Luna and Celestia nodded solemnly, and silence soon fell on the room as a storm began to rage outside — which Twilight saw as a fitting accompaniment, given that the jovial atmosphere was gone.
"So, Geo, what brings you to Twilightlicious today?" Twilight asked incredulously. "Are you here to inform me that you're off to bomb yet another nation that has dared to rub you the wrong way?"
"Believe it or not, Princess Twilight, I'm actually here to observe your mettle as a leader. With your permission, I'd like to stay here and see how you deal with the many issues which arise on a daily basis." Geo chuckled. "This 'democracy' thing is new to me, so I'm keen to see how a nation which believes in it works."
"Are you for real?" Rainbow Dash spluttered. "You, the single biggest oppressor in the whole region, is actually wanting to observe something which you're unfamiliar with... rather than drop tons of bombs on it? Because, from what I've heard, that's what you usually do when you come across something new: blow it up."
One of Geo's bodyguards raised his weapon and pointed it at Dash's head. "How dare you dare address the Herald of the Apocalypse in such a manner!" he shouted. "Sir, do I have your permission to blow this maggot's brains all over the wall?"
"Permission denied." Geo produced his own weapon and pointed it at the guard. "And if you keep threatening the Princess' friend, it will be your brains that decorate this office. Understood?!"
The soldier dropped to his knees. "Sorry, sir. Forgive my impulses."
"I will... for now," Geo replied. "Five hundred push-ups, now."
"Sir! Yes, sir!"
As the soldier began his push-ups, Twilight cleared her throat. "Getting back to the topic at hand, I'd be happy to let you observe me while I deal with my next few issues." she narrowed her eyes and glared at Geo. "'Observe' being the key word."
Geo nodded and sat down, his remaining bodyguards taking positions around the room while one of them watched the man doing the push-ups. "Yes, yes," he said. "I will observe, and not make any comments whatsoever. This is your nation, not mine, and I know that it is not my place to tell you how to run it."
"Very well." Twilight sat at her desk. "Rainbow, are you all right?"
"I'm fine, Twi," Dash said. "Don't worry about it."
"All right," Twilight replied. "Raymond, what's the current issue?"
"The next issue on the list is that of the death penalty," Raymond replied solemnly. "Following a tragic double murder, capital punishment has surged as an election issue. There now appears a real possibility that right-wing candidate Jake Brown, running on a 'Do the Crime, Pay the Penalty' platform, will gain power. While society's intelligentsia is outraged, debate rages as to whether the government should intervene."
"I assume there are people waiting to speak with me?" Twilight asked, to which Raymond nodded. "Send them in."
"Before you do that, Mr. Bullock, I feel obliged to point something out to you," Geo interjected. "First of all, I apologise for the actions of that idiot over there. Secondly, do not be surprised if my men subject anyone coming into this room to a security check."
"I had a feeling that would be the case anyway, Herald," Raymond replied as he walked to the door. He opened it and waved a couple of people inside, then walked back to take his place by Twilight's desk. The newcomers entered the room warily and, after being frisked by Geo's bodyguards, stood before Twilight and bowed.
"I am Professor Freddy Hanover of the University of Greater Twilightlicious," the first person said. "And this is Civil Rights Unionist May Frederickson. We have come before you today to argue the cases for and against the death penalty."
"It is nice to meet you both," Twilight replied. "By all means, please present your cases. Professor, you first."
"This is a democracy, remember?" Freddy asked rhetorically. "That means that if the people want something, they get it." He ignored Geo's scoff of dismissal and continued speaking. "I hate to say it, but in the name of political freedom, we need to accept that Twilightlicious will have the death penalty."
"I'm sorry, but this travesty cannot be allowed to pass," May interjected. "If the government needs to crack down on lunatic fringe groups in order to keep our great nation free of the death penalty, then so be it. We must ban the politics of hatred and fear!"
Twilight thought for a moment, then stood up. "In my homeland of Equestria, we do not have any need for the death penalty. Instead, criminals are rehabilitated and made into productive members of society. I do not wish to be a leader who introduces such a harsh punishment, so it is for that reason I side with May. The death penalty will not be a part of this nation, and we will instead put our faith into the justice system and hope for the best."
"As you wish, Your Highness," Freddy said. "I accept your decision, and hope that it bodes well for this great land."
"Thank you for seeing it my way, Your Highness." May bowed.
"My decision will be written into law as soon as possible." Twilight walked to the door. "Thank you for your time, I wish you both the very best for your future endeavours."
Freddy and May both walked to the door, shook Twilight's hoof and then left. As Twilight closed the door behind them, Geo laughed.
"No death penalty?" he asked. "You're just asking for trouble."
"I thought I told you to observe, and not comment," Twilight snapped. "Believe it or not, there are ways to deal with criminals other than 'tie them to a post and shoot them.'"
"Apologies, Princess," Geo replied. "I'll keep my mouth shut."
"See that you do." Twilight sighed as she sat down at her desk again. "What's the next item on the agenda, Raymond?"
"Bus drivers across the country are on strike over what they see as terrible working conditions," he replied. "There are four people on the list to speak to you, each of them with their own solution."
"Arrange a meeting for as soon as possible." Twilight sighed. "You know, I can't help but feel like I've missed out on a lot of work."
"Whatever makes you say that, darling?" Rarity asked.
Twilight shrugged. "I don't know," she said. "I just feel like that all the issues have been piling up because I've not been taking the time to deal with them. I've got all these people waiting to speak to me, and it feels like I'm flat out ignoring them."
"Aww, don't be sad, Twilight," Fluttershy said. "I'm sure this sort of thing happens in politics all the time."
"I agree with Fluttershy!" Pinkie said. "You're just feeling this way because you're not used to it. But don't you worry your silly little purple princess plot, because you'll get the hang of it in no time!"
Twilight giggled. "Thanks, girls," she said. "I guess you're right; it's not like I can get used to this job after only a few days of doing it, right?" Her friends nodded, to which Twilight gave them a smile. "Right. Okay, Raymond, please send in the next group."
Raymond bowed and walked over to the door, while Twilight and the others made themselves comfortable in preparation for what was sure to be another busy day in Twilightlicious.
Twilight listened patiently as one of the three people sitting in front of her desk – a woman with a name badge bearing the name 'Ethel Smith' – talked passionately about why she and her fellow bus drivers had gone on what she had called an 'indefinite' strike.
"It's like this, Your Highness," she grumbled. "Every morning I step into one of those things, I wonder when it is finally going to fall apart. The lights don't work, half of the seats are either vandalised or missing, the top deck smells like something died there, and I think something has died right at the very back. We need more money to improve our buses, it's that simple. If you don't do it then more people will die, end of."
"People always want money," said another woman, whom Raymond had identified as a financial planner named Fleur Licorish. "And they always want guarantees. I'm willing to bet every single bit on me that they're making a big fuss about nothing. The strikes no big deal; we can always find plenty of other people willing to take the job. Public transport is a financial black hole anyway, there's no profit in it for us. If someone really wants to go somewhere, they drive. Withdraw some of our public transport funding out and let them have enough money to buy themselves a car."
"That sounds to me," said another financial advisor who just happened to be walking past at that moment, "like a stellar reason to do away with the public transport system altogether. The only people who really lose out are the poor and the disabled, but there's no profit in them either so it's win-win."
"Now now, there's no need to be quite so gung-ho," said Klaus Longbottom, who had been introduced as a city planner. "The public transport system is vital for cutting down congestion and pollution within urban areas. Less vehicles on the road, less fumes... you with me so far? What we need to do is put a tax on car-use within the cities and promote our mass transit. That way everyone gets what they want, and cleaner air to boot."
"You all raise some interesting points," Twilight said. "However, I have to agree with Ethel and say that safety should be our number one priority. The public transport system will get the budget increase it is seeking, the strike will end, and then hopefully we can get the people on the move again."
Her friends all nodded, making varying sounds of agreement. Twilight then turned to look at Geo, who was sitting at the table stabbing a knife between the gaps in his fingers. Behind him, the soldier he had ordered to do push-ups was jogging on the spot. Shaking her head, she gave her attention to the petitioners.
"I will make the necessary arrangements, Ethel. Tell your fellow drivers that you will get what you want."
"Thank you, Princess." Ethel stood up and bowed, as did the other two people in the room. "I will deliver the news at once."
Twilight nodded in return and watched as the group left. After Raymond closed the door, Rainbow Dash groaned.
"Listening to these people talk has given me a headache." she sighed. "How much longer are you gonna do this for, Twi?"
Twilight glanced at some papers on her desk. "I have a few more issues to deal with at the moment," she replied. "But you do know that you don't have to stay in here, right? There is nothing stopping you from going outside enjoying a nice flight around the city."
"The Princess has a point." Geo jammed his knife into the table and looked up. "You should go and have some fun, and let us leaders deal with the boring politics crap. But if you do go for a flight, be sure to stay the hell away from my Hurricanes."
Rainbow Dash looked at him blankly, but Geo ignored her and pulled his knife out of the table to resume what he was doing.
"'Hurricanes' are the primary aircraft of the GDAF," Raymond said by way of explanation. "They are fast, agile, well-armoured and heavily armed with an armour-piercing cannon and a multitude of air-to-air and air-to-surface missiles. Put simply: they are not the sort of things you want chasing you."
Rainbow Dash ruffled her feathers. "I'm not afraid of them," she said. "I faced down a dragon once, you know."
"Blackacre said they didn't fear my Hurricanes either." Geo chuckled malevolently. "That was before a squadron of them turned their main military base into a smouldering crater, of course."
Rainbow Dash swallowed nervously. "On second thoughts, I might just go for a jog instead," she said. "You coming, AJ?"
Applejack nodded. "Sure thing, sugarcube," she replied. "I've been meanin' ta give the ol' legs a good stretch, anyway."
"I'll come with you... if, um, you don't mind," Fluttershy said.
"Me too, darling," Rarity added. "I simply must go and inspect the local shops to see what delights they have on offer."
"And I need to inspect the local bakers, to see what delicacies they have on offer." Pinkie Pie licked her lips.
Twilight chuckled. "Well then, off you go and have fun," she said. "Remember: you are my guests, and thus have free reign of the city. Let me know if anyone gives you any trouble."
"I don't think there is any danger of that, darling," Rarity said. "The people here have shown us nothing but kindness since we arrived."
"I know that my people won't give you any trouble, girls." Twilight nodded towards Geo. "I was actually talking about his. If his men give you any grief, please let me know."
"Understood, Twilight," Applejack said. "Though I don't know why on Equestria his men would want to bother us."
Twilight sighed. "They'll find a reason if they're determined enough to harass you," she said. "Try and avoid them if you can, and just enjoy what the city has to offer you."
Raymond walked over. "The GDA troops are stationed at various places within a ten-block radius of this building," he said. "They've set up checkpoints and are searching anyone who tries to pass through. We've not had any reports of citizens being harassed, Princess, so your friends should not be in any danger."
"But we're not humans, darling," Rarity said. "And from what we've learned, the Apocalypse is a very xenophobic place indeed. That alone would be reason enough for these soldiers to harass—"
"You might want to try lowering your voices next time you want to talk about me." Geo's voice startled the group, and they quickly gave him their full attention. "You have my word, Princess, that my guys won't bother your friends. Because if they do..." He suddenly threw his knife at the man who was jogging on the spot. The weapon struck him in the chest and he fell to the ground with a cry of shock, which was soon replaced with groaning. "This will happen to them." He gestured to two more of his guards, who saluted and pulled the third man to his feet before dragging him out of the room. Twilight looked stunned, but she soon managed to speak.
"That was completely unnecessary," she said. "But you've made your point; I don't need to worry, I need to get back to work." She turned to her friends. "Go and enjoy yourselves." They nodded, gave her a hug, then left while she addressed Raymond. "Bring in the next group of petitioners... and could you also get someone up here to clean the blood off the floor?"
Raymond nodded and went to the door holding his phone, Geo produced another knife and carried on with his game as though nothing had happened — while Twilight sat at her desk to wonder just what in the world would happen next.
The next group of petitioners, much to Twilight's bemusement, had expressed a wish to hold their meeting with her on the street outside the Twilightlicious Capital Building. Followed closely by Raymond – as well as Geo and his guards – Twilight walked outside into the cool afternoon air, shielding her eyes from the sun which hung in the sky. Through the haze, she could make out more of Geo's soldiers, who were manning a checkpoint down the street, as well as the slowly retreating forms of her friends.
Geo sat on the steps and started juggling with his weapons, while Twilight cleared her throat to get the attention of the group arguing in front of her. One of them was sitting atop a horse, while another one appeared to be building what looked like a trebuchet.
"Ah, Princess," one of the people said as he approached her and bowed. "My name is Wil Jamieson, and I have come before you today – in my capacity as a representative of the Protect Anything Cute And Furry Society – to implore you to ban timber wolf hunting at once. It is a cruel and horrible 'sport' for the wealthy, and my mind boggles when I try to consider how anyone can possibly justify it." He pointed at the man on the horse. "Oh, people like him witter on about 'tradition,' 'pest control' and other such nonsense, but really we all know it's because sadists love to torture these poor, innocent animals! It is for this reason, Princess Twilight, that timber wolf hunting must be banned!"
The man on the horse sighed. "First of all, Princess, my name is Thomas Hamilton. Secondly... Banning timber wolf hunting would be the end for centuries of tradition! The thrill of the chase, the baying of the hounds, the timber wolf scooting through the undergrowth... it would be a travesty if you were to outlaw all of that! We provide much needed stimulus for local tourism — and you can't deny that timber wolves are pests, as they are often to blame for farmers losing livestock on a daily basis. I propose that timber wolf hunting be encouraged, for the cultural – and, not to mention, the economic – benefit of the nation!"
The woman building the trebuchet spoke up. "My name is Jazz Bronte, Princess, and do you want to know what I think?" she asked, to which Twilight nodded. "I reckon that the real issue about this sport is the cruelty aspect. Now, no-one can deny that sending a pack of dogs to slaughter a solitary timber wolf is cruel — so I reckon that you should just ban hunting with hounds and only allow kinder and more instantly lethal methods of hunting... such as guns, tranquillisers, and cruise missiles."
Geo laughed. "I like her way of thinking." Twilight glared at him and he stopped. "Yeah, yeah, I get it — 'shut up and observe.'"
The fourth person slowly stood up, revealing for the first time that he was feeding a young timber wolf with a baby bottle full of milk. "My name is Johann Dubois, and I am firmly against the slaughter of dumb animals," he said. "It would be best if the animals didn't die, and hunters could still do what they love to do. So with that in mind, instead of shooting them or sending vicious canines after them, how about you make it so that the hunter runs up to his quarry and gives it a symbolic 'tap' with his hand? If you ask me, I think that would be much nicer for everyone."
Almost immediately, the other petitioners began arguing with each other over which of them had the better idea.
"I've already made up my mind," Twilight said. "So if you could all... if you could just stop arguing, I might be able to—"
The sound of a gunshot quickly brought the squabbling to an end, as all attention turned to Geo. He was standing at the top of the stairs to the capital building, with an assault rifle slung over one shoulder, and a look of disdain on his face.
"The Princess is trying to talk to you, so I suggest that you show her the proper respect," he snapped. "Be thankful that you are not my citizens, as I would have had you all killed for your insolence."
Twilight sighed and shook her head. "Ignore him," she said. "I've found that it's the best course of action." She paused. "Anyway, I have already decided that I am going to outlaw timber wolf hunting in Twilightlicious; the new law will come into force overnight. Thank you for your time, have a nice day."
The assembled petitioners bowed and then beat a hasty retreat, Jazz abandoning her half-finished trebuchet as she rushed up the street towards the checkpoint. After they left, Twilight turned around and walked up the stairs to where Geo stood.
"Don't you ever speak to my people like that again, got it?" she hissed. "This is not the Apocalypse, Geo, so stop acting like you are there. Now, if you step out of line one more time, then I will be forced to ask you to leave my country." She looked around the area, taking note of the soldiers watching her. "And, while I have your attention, I want you to send the soldiers you have stationed in my streets home. I will permit you to keep your bodyguards, but that's it. My people are getting worried, and I will not have them bothered by a bunch of trigger-happy thugs."
Geo laughed and, much to Twilight's chagrin, placed a hand on her head and ruffled her mane. "You're adorable when you're mad, you know that?" he said. "Anyway, don't get your proverbial panties in a twist, Princess, I was only trying to help. But if it makes you feel better, I'll stop interfering and send the majority of my men back to the Apocalypse, keeping just a few of my best to guard me."
Twilight took a step back and snorted. "See to it that you do." she turned to Raymond. "What's next on the list?"
"Uhh..." Raymond looked through his usual consignment of paperwork. "An organized crowd of leather-clad individuals, some of whom are on leashes, are protesting against discrimination for those who share their interests."
"Oh, Violet, not them again." Geo holstered his weapon and started walking down the stairs. "I think I'll sit this one out, Princess, because there is a very high chance that I would end up killing one of those freaks." He shuddered. "They make my skin crawl."
Twilight smiled wryly at him. "What's this? The big, bad dictator can't handle a few simple fetishes?" she put a forehoof over her mouth to stifle a giggle. "Very well, Geo, you are more than welcome to avoid this discussion if you want — after all, it will give you plenty of time to get your men off my property."
Geo nodded and began walking up the street, barking orders as he went, while Twilight and Raymond began the trek back up to the office... and the strange sight which was to greet them.
It's been a while since my last entry, and a lot has happened.
Twilightlicious seems to be faring well. I've not had any complaints about the decisions I've been making, and Raymond tells me that a large proportion of the people are fine with me in charge.
This is good news; it shows that I am capable of making decisions like this, and it will hopefully mean that I would be able to take over the running of Equestria while Celestia and Luna are away.
Speaking of Celestia and Luna: our relationship with the Equestrian Paradise and Insignificance is getting better by the day. Both countries have reported a large increase in the number of their citizens coming to visit 'the country ruled by the pony.' In return, an equal number of my citizens have been visiting both their nations. So, all in all, we are all benefiting – both socially and economically – from our relationship.
However, my biggest concern right now is the Equestrian Apocalypse. Geo has only been here for a few days, but he has succeeded in putting the 'fear of Violet,' to use the local vernacular, into most of the people. He nearly killed one of his own soldiers, and has even gone so far to threaten some of my petitioners.
The man is insufferable — yet I dare not antagonise him out of fear of what he might do to me, my friends or even Twilightlicious.
Why has he suddenly decided to visit me here all of a sudden? Celestia, Luna and Jock have all told me that he has expressed no interest in diplomatic visits before – and, given that the Apocalypse's idea of 'diplomacy' usually involves dropping lots of high explosives on major cities, I'm not surprised – so why me?
And all that security he had... those soldiers weren't just there to look intimidating, they were there to look for something.
Raymond showed me where the GDA soldiers had been stationed, and all of them were near important places of interest within the capital: my office, the police station, a military base, the Research and Development Centre and the university.
I can understand why they would be near my office, but to be near all of those other places just doesn't make sense. Why would GDA troops want to protect Twilightlicious' police and military?
Nothing adds up, and I don't like it one bit. I'll need to keep a closer eye on Geo if I am to figure out what he's doing.
Also, and I'm probably imagining things, I'm pretty sure he pulled a few pieces of my mane out when he petted me earlier. The man has absolutely no self-control whatsoever.
Anyway, I'm going to get some sleep and try not to let this worry me too much... well, no more than it has already has, at least.
PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL For the eyes of Princess Twilight Sparkle only
Your Highness,
Once again, here is the current up-to-date information regarding The People's Republic of Twilightlicious. As always, do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.
Your humble servant, Raymond Bullock.
ECONOMY
Since the last report, the economy has risen from 1,540,000,000,000 (one trillion, five hundred and forty billion) bits per year to an impressive thirty-nine point one trillion bits per year. This is a rise of 37,560,000,000,000 (thirty-seven trillion, five-hundred and sixty billion) bits. The economy has been described by your financial team as 'sizeable but underdeveloped.'
INCOME AND EXPENDITURE
Since the last report, the tax rate has increased from twenty-nine point six percent to thirty-two point one percent, an increase of two and a half percent — although wealthier citizens are continuing to pay much more tax than poorer citizens.
Law and Order, Education and Welfare continue to get the most money from the budget, just like they have since you arrived.
Average income has fallen from thirty-thousand, seven-hundred and seventeen bits per year to twenty-eight thousand, nine-hundred and twenty-eight bits per year, which is a small drop of one-thousand, seven-hundred and eighty-nine.
The gap between rich and poor has not changed, with wealthier citizens continuing to earn twice as much as the poorest.
POPULATION
Since it has been a while since my last report, it goes without saying that the population has skyrocketed. It has increased from fifty million people to one point three five billion, which is a monumental increase of one billion, three-hundred and forty-nine billion, nine-hundred and fifty million.
DIPLOMACY
Relations with the Equestrian Paradise and Insignificance are growing stronger by the day. We are trading goods, services and tourists, and our peoples remain very good friends.
Relations with the Equestrian Apocalypse are currently at an unknown stage. We won't know for certain if anything has changed until Geo's visit is complete — but trust me when I say that we'll definitely know if he leaves in a bad mood.
IN CONCLUSION
Twilightlicious is doing well under your leadership, Princess, and we are very grateful to have you at the helm.
As for me, I am honoured to call myself your servant and friend.
As I look out of my office window, I can still see flames lighting up the night sky. The acrid smell of smoke continues to seep into the room, even through the closed windows, and the angry shouting of the people below still rings in my ears.
I never knew that people could get this upset over a hunting ban.
The riot began shortly after the law came into force, with the main hunting groups banding together to protest. The police force moved in to break up the demonstration, citing it as illegal, when things turned ugly quickly. The hunters began throwing stones, bottles, pieces of concrete, and anything else they could find, and the sheer ferocity of their attack soon forced the officers to retreat.
With the police beaten back, the rioters began setting fire to government buildings. They also began looting everything that wasn't nailed down, targeting several small shops nearby.
After an hour, the police regrouped and once again attempted to restore order. They failed, miserably, as the number of rioters had been steadily increasing over the course of the evening. The officers, despite their best efforts, were forced back — which ultimately left a gap in the perimeter they had established.
The rioters were quick to take advantage of this weakness, and surged through the gap to advance on the Capital Building. As they marched through the streets, overturning cars and smashing windows, they repeatedly called on me to either repeal the ban on hunting or to 'step down and go back to Horse Land.'
For the first time since I got here, I was afraid for my life. My friends were with me, but even they were worried. I looked out the window, a sea of people carrying flaming torches and other makeshift weapons greeting me, and began to cry.
But then another shout, much louder than the others, rang out.
"Protect the Princess!"
It was Geo. I looked around for him and eventually found him with a large number of his soldiers, all of whom were standing between the rioters and their ultimate goal... me. The soldiers were all equipped with shields and batons, much like the police had been, but they were also wearing gas masks.
"That's far enough!" Geo shouted through a megaphone. "This is your first and only warning: if you want to harm the Princess, then you're going to have to go through us first!" At these words, his soldiers started to beat their shields with their batons. "And I promise you we will not make it easy!"
The rioters responded by throwing a barrage of projectiles.
"SHIELDS UP!" The soldiers raised their shields, and a series of loud thuds filled the air as the projectiles landed. But the rioters weren't finished yet, and started throwing more objects. Through it all, I heard Geo yell, "INFANTRY, FORWARDS!"
The soldiers began marching forwards with their shields still held up to protect them, something which reminded me of tactics I'd read about the Royal Guard in Equestria using during the war with the gryphons some two-hundred years ago.
Some of the rioters began to panic, and ran away from the solid mass of soldiers which was slowly approaching them. Occasionally, from the rear of the advancing column, a few of the GDA troops would pop up and fire off tear gas canisters.
The canisters exploded amongst the crowd, sending their contents into the air and causing anyone nearby to drop to the ground.
"LOWER SHIELDS!" Geo's voice rang out again. "NOW, CHARGE!"
What happened next was the most amazing – and shocking – thing that I have ever witnessed. The GDA troops lowered their shields, shouted "For the Apocalypse!" and charged straight into the ranks of rioters. Those that weren't affected by the tear gas also charged, and a large-scale brawl erupted just metres away from my office.
I could hear the shouts of both sides as they clashed with each other, as well as screams of pain and anger. Beside me, Fluttershy was covering her ears, while the rest of my friends stood in silence to watch the carnage unfolding below.
I heard footsteps behind me, and saw Raymond in my peripheral vision. He watched the fighting for a moment, then spoke.
"I suppose we should be thankful that Geo decided to take his time when it came to withdrawing his troops," he said.
"We should be thankful, Raymond," I replied. "Because we would be in serious danger right now if those men weren't here."
"I'd rather not think about that, Twi," Rainbow Dash said. "What matters is that we're all okay. Right?"
I nodded. "That's true." I pulled the two individuals who were closest to me – Raymond and Fluttershy – into a hug, which the rest of the girls were quick to join. "At least, if things had gone wrong, we would have faced it together."
"Together." everyone spoke in unison.
We stayed like that, locked in our little group hug, for a while. Eventually, the noise from outside subsided, and silence prevailed. Geo, who was covered in blood which I doubt was his, strode into my office a few minutes later — then said just five words to me.
"I thought you didn't want to be here, Geo?" Twilight asked. "Didn't you say that the people I'm waiting on 'make your skin crawl?'"
Geo nodded. "I did say that," he replied. "But I just popped in to remind you that I wasn't kidding when I said you owe me a favour."
Twilight looked out the window, where smoke could be seen rising from a few places in the city, and sighed. "I am well aware of that fact," she replied. "Anyway, this riot has reminded me that my decisions have consequences — which I have to put up with as a leader. If some people don't like the decisions I make, then so be it. It's true that this was the last thing I expected, but I still have to face the fact I can't please everyone. You have my thanks for helping to restore order, Geo, and I will do my best to return the favour whenever you ask me to do so."
"Not right though." Geo shook his head. "Soon." Raymond came up to the desk, and he grimaced. "I'm guessing that the weirdo brigade is here, so I'm going to go before I decide to crack a few more skulls." He thought for a moment. "Actually, come to think of it, I'm sure some of these sickos would love it if I did that..."
He walked out of the room, taking great care to avoid the three people who were walking in.
One of them was wearing nothing but a collar, another was wearing spiked heels and carrying a whip, while the third person was wearing a similar facial expression to the one Geo had been.
"Greetings, Princess," said the person holding the whip. "Given the recent riot, I would assume you are in no mood for delays. My name is Xu Plath, and I am a BDSM enthusiast. We happen to express our love differently, with different hobbies and activities. Shops exist to cater to the needs of 'normal' people, but do you have any idea how hard it is to get a quality whip? A little support for our hobbies would be appreciated!"
"Yeah!" exclaimed the person wearing the collar. "And like other couples, we want the right to display our affection in public. So if Master wants to take me for walkies, he should be able to."
"My name is Kirby Friendship, and I beg of you to consider the fact that this is not about 'showing affection,' it is actually about moral decency." the third person dissented wholeheartedly. "Think of the children, for Violet's sake, think of the children! We must criminalise and eradicate this perversion to keep them safe, which of course means we need to create a special task force to track down and capture these cretins!"
Twilight got up and began pacing around the room. "Where I come from, friendship and love are both powerful forces," she said. "I can't very well deny the right of anyone to express their love, even if it is in a way that most people would find abhorrent. So, it is for that reason, that I will grant these people the support they want, as well as the right to express their love in public."
"Oh, thank you, Your Highness!" Xu said eagerly.
"No, no, no!" Kirby screeched. "This is a big mistake, Princess, and I must ask you – no, I must beg you – to reconsider!"
Twilight shook her head. "My decision is final, Kirby," she replied. "The new law will come into force overnight."
Kirby cursed under her breath and stormed out of the room, while Xu and the other enthusiast bowed gracefully before following suit.
"Wow, Twi," Rainbow Dash said. "Are you sure you're not giving them what they want because you're into that sort of thing yourself?" She grinned. "You got a whip tucked away somewhere?"
Twilight rolled her eyes and giggled. "Oh, shush," she said. "I gave them what they wanted because it was their right. Surely there is nothing wrong with people expressing love?"
"You won't be saying that when you see the next issue," Raymond said flatly. "A medical report has detailed a twenty-fold increase in infection rates over the past ten years of the sexually transmitted disease VODAIS, which stands for Viral Overactive Dysfunction of the Auto-Immune System. People all over the nation are petitioning that the government do something about the epidemic."
Twilight groaned. "Dammit," she grumbled, while Raymond and her friends tried to suppress their laughter.
Suddenly, Geo came running back into the room. He motioned for everyone to be quiet and then dove under Twilight's desk. Before anyone could question him, Kirby appeared at the door and looked around for a moment before she sighed and left.
"She's gone now, Geo," Twilight said. "You can come out of your makeshift bunker now. What was that about, anyway?"
Geo crawled out from under the desk and stood up, smoothing out the creases in his uniform. "That crazy bitch accosted me in the corridor," he grumbled. "She said that she wanted to 'move to the Apocalypse, where perversion is not tolerated.' I wasn't in the mood to talk to her, and I certainly couldn't shoot her, so I was quick to make my escape. She's determined, though, I'll give her that. She chased me all over the building before I decided to try and hide up her, figuring that she wouldn't want to see you again."
"You figured correctly," Twilight said. "Anyway, now that I've dealt with the 'sickos,' are you going to resume your observations?"
Geo nodded. "Yes, of course."
"Very well." Twilight pointed at a seat. "Please sit down, then, and observe me while I deal with an STD epidemic."
Geo did as he was told, while Twilight signalled for the next group of petitioners to come in.
"The VODAIS epidemic is out of control, Princess, and it falls to you to decide what we must do about it." Raymond indicated the three people sitting in front of the desk. "This is Doctor Samuel du Pont, religious leader Heather de Castro and Marlon Janssen, the Health Minister for Twilightlicious. Each of them has an idea for curbing the problem that they would like to present to you."
Twilight nodded. "You first, Doctor du Pont."
Samuel stood up. "The situation is about to explode. At this rate, this epidemic could severely impact our economy, our way of life, and even our government," he said. "We must supply powerful drugs to all infected people, even if we have to produce and distribute it ourselves. We must also educate people on the dangers of VODAIS and supply condoms to all sexually active males. We'll need to divert money from the military to fund all of this — but what good is a military if the soldiers are too sick to fight?"
He sat down and then Heather stood up, shaking her head. "If you supply condoms, you'll increase sexual promiscuity," she scoffed. "And if you supply drugs, you'll risk creating an aura of invincibility which in turn increases sexual promiscuity. Sexual abstinence is one-hundred percent effective in preventing VODAIS infection. This knowledge must be taught at all schools and workplaces, and all other choices must be ridiculed. Make celibacy the only option!"
"Supplying drugs and condoms will not stop VODAIS infections and forcing everyone to become celibate will ultimately cause the slow death of this country," Marlon argued. "If you ask me, and you did, segregating the infected people is the most effective method. Everybody in Twilightlicious must be tested for VODAIS, and anyone who tests positive must then be sent off to live in gated communities away from the rest of us. If they need to mingle with uninfected people, then they must wear a distinguishing badge which features a Grim Reaper holding a skeletal timber wolf."
Twilight looked at him, appalled. "That is the most sickening idea I have ever heard!" she shouted. "I will do no such thing, Marlon, and I'm amazed you could even come up with such an idea." She pointed at the door. "Get out of my sight; you're fired!"
Everyone watched as Marlon stood up and left the room, slamming the door behind him. A moment later, he opened it again and poked his head into the room, opening his mouth to speak. But upon noticing the stern looks he was getting, he quickly left again.
"He did make one good point, though," Twilight said. "Forcing celibacy on the population wouldn't do much good for our birth rates. So I am going to take Doctor du Pont's advice, and order the creation and supply of additional drugs and condoms."
"Thank you, Your Highness," Samuel said. He and Heather both stood up and bowed. "And, if I may say so, thank you for getting rid of that idiot Marlon. He only got his job because his father ruled the country before you took over."
"That explains a lot," Geo said. "Mind you, I only got my job after I assassinated the previous ruler of the Apocalypse."
Twilight ignored him. "Thank you, Samuel and Heather, you may both take your leave." Raymond held the door open for them, and then returned to the desk with his folder in his arms.
"Okay, Princess, the next issue is..." he looked through the stacks of paper. "Ah, here we go. Several animal rights groups have protested the continuing use of fur as a material for clothing."
"I will hear what the people have to say, but I already have some idea as to what action I will take," Twilight replied. "Arrange the meeting for as soon as you possibly can."
Raymond nodded and left the room, dialling a number on his phone, while Geo stood up and walked over to join Twilight.
"Well, Princess," he said. "This has been fun and all, but I'm afraid that I cannot stick around for much longer."
"You're leaving?" Twilight asked, a little too hopefully.
Geo nodded. "I am indeed," he said. "The self-proclaimed emperor of a small, nameless, nation within my sphere of influence has gone on a genocidal rampage within his own borders, purging the country of what he calls 'those pesky Bigtopians.'"
Twilight looked at him in surprise. "And you're going to help these people flee the horror they find themselves facing?" she asked.
"Hell, no." Geo cackled. "I'm going home to finalise the Apocalypse's invasion plans so that we can go in, kick this guy out of power, and take all of his land and resources for ourselves!"
Twilight sighed. "Figures," she muttered.
"Yes," Geo replied. "Anyway, Princess, thank you for your time." He stood at attention and saluted. "I've learned a lot from you during my time here... but I don't think I will be introducing my people to the concept of 'diplomacy' any time soon."
Twilight reluctantly returned Geo's salute. "And thank you for... well... saving my life, and those of my friends."
Geo smiled. "You're welcome." he grinned. "Just remember that you still owe me a favour, which I will be asking for soon."
Twilight sighed. "Yes, I know," she grumbled. "You'd better get going before you miss your flight, or something."
Geo laughed and left the room, allowing Twilight – as well as her friends – to all let out large sighs of pure relief.
But Twilight's relief soon turned to trepidation, as the favour she owed Geo once again forced itself to the front of her mind.
As she watched Geo's private jet disappear into the distance, flanked by several Hurricanes and helicopters, Twilight smiled. She then caught sight of a few leather-clad individual walking their 'pets' along the street below, to which she giggled into her forehoof before adopting a serious expression and turning around.
"Thank Celestia Geo is gone." she walked away from the window. "I can finally get some work done without him breathing down my neck, or threatening to kill someone every five seconds."
"As much as I hate to say it, Princess, he will be back at some point in the future," Raymond said. "Whatever the GDA troops were looking for, I don't think they found it — which means Geo will gladly come up with another excuse to pay us a visit."
"I can't imagine what they'd want," Twilight replied. "It's not like we're hiding anything of major importance... right?"
Raymond shook his head. "Of course we're not, Your Highness. Besides, you would be the first one to know the details regarding any secret projects that we would be working on."
Twilight waved a forehoof dismissively. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," she said. "Have the people who wish to discuss the fur issue arrived yet?"
"'Fur issue?'" Fluttershy's voice was devoid of its usual timidness as she entered the room along with the rest of Twilight's friends, who waved to her in greeting. "What 'fur issue?'"
"Some clothing manufacturers use animal fur in their products," Twilight said. "Several animal rights groups have protested against it, and now it falls to me to decide what to do next. But don't worry, Fluttershy, I already intend to ban the practice — I just need to hear both sides of the debate first."
"Oh, okay." Fluttershy sat in the corner along with the others.
"The petitioners are ready, Princess," Raymond said. "One of them is William Spirit of the 'Be Nice To Animals Society,' and the other is a woman by the name of Rebecca Nagasawa."
Without even being asked, both petitioners came in and sat down. As soon as they had made themselves comfortable, William was quick to present his case to Twilight.
"This is an outrage!" he cried. "The manufacture of fur apparel is unethical, cruel, and disgusting! People just don't seem to realise that millions of animals die each year in fur farms, crammed into tiny cages and suffering the most terrible treatment just so someone can look appealing and rich! This is a sick practice and it must be stopped!" He paused for breath before adding, "The same goes for leather shoes and snakeskin belts too."
"You can't mean that, surely?" Rebecca snorted as she adjusted her hat — which was clearly made from the hide of a timber wolf. "It's the people's choice what they wear. I don't think it's fair that the majority of the public should be deprived of fur clothes because some people are a bit queasy. In fact, if the government would allow us to stock rarer animals, we could produce even finer products. In the end, it's up to the consumer, don't you think?"
"I'm sorry, Rebecca, but I cannot allow this practice to go ahead," Twilight said. "We Equestrians care very deeply about animals, and my friend Fluttershy over there is no exception. The use of fur in clothing will be made illegal once the law passes overnight."
Raymond coughed. "Actually, Princess, the law will come into effect immediately," he said. "Some changes have been made to the way nations can put through new legislation, meaning we can enact new laws almost at will. Furthermore, it has been decided that leaders should be able to handle up to four issues, rather than two, daily."
"Why was I not informed of this sooner?" Twilight asked.
"Well, we felt that you had bigger things to worry about — such as the recent visit from a certain dictator, and the riot."
"Understood." Twilight nodded. "Anyway, William, Rebecca, the law will have come into force by the time you both leave this building. Thank you for your time, and have a nice day."
Fluttershy let out a small, but unheard, cheer at this declaration.
As William and Rebecca left the room, a panicked-looking member of Twilight's staff entered. The woman entered the room, holding a piece of paper which she then gave to Raymond before bowing to Twilight and leaving just as quickly as she had came in. Raymond looked at the paper blankly, but began to cast his eyes over it.
As he did, the colour drained from his face.
"By Violet's Light..." he muttered, then quickly passed the paper to Twilight. "You need to read this, Princess. It was found in Geo's room just a few moments ago."
A worried look crossed Twilight's face as she took the paper from him and began to read it herself. By the time she was finished, her pupils had shrunk to pinpricks and she was shaking.
"Twilight, darling, whatever is the matter?" Rarity asked.
"Yeah, Twi," Rainbow Dash added. "You look as worried as you did that time you thought you weren't going to get your friendship report sent to Princess Celestia on time."
When Twilight was able to reply, it was just one sentence.
While you were dealing with Princess Twilight Sparkle, we conducted a search for the portal which you believe she used to travel from her homeland of Equestria.
I regret to inform you, mighty Herald, that our search – while meticulous – was entirely unsuccessful. We could not find anything that remotely resembled a portal nor could we detect any energy readings which would suggest the existence of one.
We have two theories as to why this is the case:
1. The portal we are looking for is not located within the borders of Twilightlicious. Either that, or it is well hidden.
2. Princess Twilight arrived in Twilightlicious via another method.
However, we believe that the strands of her mane which you obtained earlier might be of help to us, as they will no doubt contain the energy readings we need to open a portal of our own.
Although our search for the portal turned out to be a pointless endeavour, our soldiers did learn much about the military power of both Equestria and Twilightlicious. The former has a strong military presence, but their equipment is nothing compared to ours (we're talking positively medieval), while the latter – even with similar weapons to ours – lacks much in the way of numbers.
Even so, your plans for the invasion of Equestria have been put into action. Two hundred divisions – three million troops – have been placed on standby, as have several armoured and mechanised divisions and much of the Air Force.
The troops have every faith in your ability to lead them to Equestria, Herald — and once we're there, the inhabitants will either kneel before our might... or they will be crushed by it.
Having said that, we expect the Equestrians to put up minimal resistance. Your plans for a simultaneous attack on Twilightlicious itself are also awaiting execution, to stop them from sending any reinforcements. As for the rest of the region... we're sure that the threat of nuclear devastation will prevent them interfering.
A whole new world awaits us, Herald, and we are proud to accompany you on this journey. We eagerly await your return to Geotopia, so that we can put your grand plan into action.
Twilight waited anxiously as she watched the plane come to a stop on the runway, its engines slowly winding down. As soon as the door was opened and the steps were lowered, she rushed over to greet the first two individuals who stepped out.
"Celestia, Luna!" she said, giving both women a tight hug. "I am so glad to see that you're both all right."
Celestia looked crestfallen. "We wanted to stay, but the people insisted that we and our staff evacuate. They said they would surrender once the GDA got to the city, but..."
"The bastards killed them!" Luna shouted. "As soon as the Apocalypse found out we had evacuated, one-hundred squadrons of Hurricanes attacked the capital. Hundreds of thousands of innocent people died, simply because we weren't there to be captured!"
Celestia put a hand on Luna's shoulder. "The people will be avenged, dear sister," she said. "The Apocalypse – and Geo – will pay for their crimes, but it will take time." She turned to Twilight. "What is the latest information you can give us?"
Raymond stepped forward. "The Apocalypse has taken complete and total control of the Paradise, turning it into their puppet state." he looked through his notes. "The people have been subjugated through fear, with the GDA troops promising swift and terrible reprisals for even the slightest hint of insurrection or disobedience."
Luna sighed. "And what of Insignificance?" she asked. "I heard that they were no longer offering military assistance?"
Raymond nodded. "Jock has declared Insignificance's neutrality, citing the fact that 'the horrors of our last war with the Apocalypse are still fresh in the minds of my people.' However, he has said that the country will take in any and all refugees the conflict creates."
"I don't blame him," Celestia said. "It is a bit upsetting to know that he won't help us win this, but I can understand his hesitation to get involved in another bloody and prolonged conflict."
"We have other allies, though," Twilight said. "Our friends in Tarbellville report that their hackers have severely weakened the Apocalypse's digital currency, while Mistyoceans are moving their own fleet up to assist them."
Raymond shook his head. "But the Talastentin Empire, the Azeertha Islands, Elyshia and Boom Beach have all pledged to support Geo," he said. "And with the Paradise under his control, he has access to plenty of troops, weapons and materials to use against us." He pointed towards the sea in the distance. "The Azeerthian fleet is blockading us, because Geo told them to, and Insignificance reported a day ago that the GDN is blockading their capital as well."
Twilight scoffed. "Azeertha's blockade means nothing," she said. "I can open a portal to Equestria any time I want, and the ponies there have pledged to support us with as much food as we need."
"That's good to hear," Celestia said. "But isn't this portal what Geo is after? The portal which started this war in the first place?"
"That is true," Twilight replied. "Because Geo managed to acquire a few strands of my mane, I figured that it was only a matter of time before the Apocalypse was able to open a portal of their own. My guess is they failed, so they started this war with the intention of gaining access to mine." She looked at her hooves and sighed. "I'm so sorry that you've all dragged you all into this."
"You are our friend, Twilight," Luna said sternly. "And friends always look out for each other. We may have lost our home, but we will still continue to support you in any way we can."
"Thank you." Twilight sniffed and wiped a stray tear away. "Your friendship and your support both mean a lot to me. Come, let us get to the Capital Building. I have rooms ready for you both."
Celestia and Luna nodded and followed Twilight to the bottom of the runway, where a motorcade awaited them. The two women quickly got into a car — but Raymond stopped walking and began looking around with a curious look on his face.
"Raymond?" Twilight asked from beside him. "What's wrong?"
Raymond looked up. "Can you hear that?" he said.
Twilight concentrated for a moment, then shook her head. "No, sorry," she replied. "I can't hear anything. Perhaps the tenseness of the situation is causing your mind to play tricks on you?"
She turned around to get into the car, only to be thrown forward as Raymond suddenly pushed her inside.
"Ack!" Twilight grunted. "Raymond, what are you—"
She screamed as something slammed into the ground nearby and exploded, scattering chunks of tarmac over the vehicles.
"HURRICANE!" Raymond jumped into the car and shouted at the driver. "Greg, get us out of here, NOW! The GDAF must be trying to accomplish what they started back in the Paradise!"
Greg slammed his foot onto the accelerator and the car screeched to life, quickly accelerating to over one-hundred miles an hour, while Twilight turned to look out the back window.
A hail of bullets from the now-pursuing Hurricane slammed into the back of the car, causing her to duck.
"It's okay, Princess," Raymond said. "This car is bulletproof."
The Hurricane launched another missile, which flew over the roof and slammed into the runway ahead. Greg responded by turning the wheel sharply to the right, narrowly avoiding the newly formed crater. Twilight glanced at Raymond worriedly.
"But is it bombproof?" she asked, at which Raymond looked away for a moment. Twilight growled and stomped a forehoof into the seat. "To Tartarus with this. Greg, open the sunroof."
"But, Your Majesty—"
"DO IT!" Twilight bellowed.
Greg opened the sunroof and Twilight poked her head out to see the pilot lining up to take another shot. But before he could, a highly charged burst of magic erupted from Twilight's horn and struck one of the aircraft's wings. Thick black smoke billowed from the point of impact, and the pilot quickly gained altitude to escape the line of fire. As the magic faded, Twilight slumped onto the back seat of the car while Raymond quickly closed the sunroof.
"Twilight, are you all right?" he asked.
"I'm fine," she replied. "It's just... I haven't used a spell that powerful for a while." She sat up and looked out of the window. "But I think our 'friend' out there has got the me—"
She stopped talking as she watched the Hurricane slam into the ground at high speed, sending a huge fireball into the sky.
"By all that is holy..." Celestia said. "Twilight, that... that was..."
"That was amazing!" Raymond said.
Twilight smiled weakly. "I didn't expect it to actually work."
"Well it did, and I'm glad it did." Luna pointed at an object in the distance. "Look, the pilot bailed out; he might have information."
"Greg, could you intercept that pilot before he lands?" Twilight paused. "Also, thank you for keeping us safe."
Greg nodded. "Just doing my job, Princess," he replied. "And sure, I'll get you to that son of a bitch, no problem."
He drove onto the grass as quickly as possible, past the blazing wreckage of the Hurricane, and stopped just under a shadow descending from the sky. The occupants got out and waited.
"You fools!" mocking laughter followed this statement, forcing the group to look up at the slowly descending pilot. "Do you really think that I'm going to let you capture me alive?" He pulled out his sidearm. "MY LIFE, FOR THE GLORY OF THE APOCALYPSE!"
Twilight watched in horror as the pilot put the gun under his chin.
And then everyone looked away as he pulled the trigger.
The grim silence which soon followed was finally broken by the soft thump of the pilot's body landing on the grass.
Raymond nodded. "Yes, Princess." he cleared his throat. "Our allies in Tarbellville report that they have severely crippled the enemy's digital currency system. This has weakened their economy somewhat, but we've intercepted chatter which suggests that the Apocalypse are already in the process of switching back to paper money. Fighting between soldiers has taken place along the borders of some participating nations, resulting in loss of life. However, the Apocalypse seems keen to let their air force do most of their fighting, and have carpet bombed cities in Tarbellville, Mistyoceans and the Equestrian Paradise — which that son of a bitch Geo has mockingly renamed 'The Apocalyptic Puppet State.'"
"I thought the Paradise was under their control?" Celestia asked.
"It is." Raymond nodded. "But your people are not exactly willing to roll over and let the Apocalypse tell them what to do. They are resisting as best they can; the bombings are acting as reprisals."
"How many have died?" Twilight asked hesitantly. "In total, that is."
"Estimates are sketchy at best," Raymond said. "But the unofficial count suggests that over twenty million people from all sides – most of them civilian – have been killed so far."
"Twenty million dead in just eight days?" Luna asked, aghast. "By Violet, that is... that is truly horrifying!"
Raymond sighed. "Yes, Luna, it is," he replied. "But many millions more have fled to neutral nations as refugees. They'll be safe there; not even the Apocalypse would want to incur the combined wrath of the World Assembly by attacking refugees."
"Well, at least they have some sense of compassion," Twilight growled. "What else is there to report, Raymond?"
Suddenly, the door opened and a soldier – whose uniform bore the name 'Private Brad Century' – rushed in. He ran up to the desk and saluted, whereupon everyone could see that he was out of breath.
"Princess Twilight!" he panted.
"Take it easy, soldier," Twilight replied. "Get your breath back first."
Brad took a few deep breaths and let them out before he replied, his voice shaky. "Princess, it is with regret that I must tell you... Twilightlicious has been invaded by the combined forces of the Azeertha Islands and Elyshia."
A collective gasp rose up from the occupants of the room.
"Wait, 'has been' invaded?" Raymond asked.
Brad nodded. "The invasion must have happened within the last day or so," he replied. "We only found out after many of our soldiers who were stationed in the west suddenly returned in a panic."
"How many enemy troops did they see?" Twilight asked.
"Two million each of Azeerthians and Elyshians," Brad replied. "I am sorry, Your Majesty, but our soldiers weren't prepared to fight back against such a sudden – and unprovoked – assault."
Twilight shook her head. "Do not apologise," she said. "I would not ask you to lay down your lives for what is clearly a lost cause."
"The enemy don't seem to see it that way." Brad scratched his head. "In fact, they haven't even pursued us at all. They have taken up a defensive position approximately three-hundred miles west of the capital, and seem perfectly happy to just... sit there."
"My guess is they are acting on the orders of the Apocalypse," Raymond said. "Geo isn't going to want his allies to have 'the honour and the glory' of defeating us, so he told them to halt." He looked at Brad. "Thank you for your report, Private, return to your barracks for some food and rest. You've earned it."
Brad saluted and left the room, while Twilight sighed. "Be that as it may, we still need to do something about it," she said. "Raymond, how many soldiers do we have?"
"The Twilightlicious Army has fourteen million enlisted personnel," Raymond replied. "However, the enemy could easily call in substantial reinforcements — given that they outnumber us nearly five to one on manpower alone. If we were to launch an attack, it would surely condemn our troops to certain death."
"Do the enemy know how many troops we have?" Twilight asked, to which Raymond shook his head. "Good, that means we have something that we can actually use to our advantage."
"Whatever do you mean, Twilight?" Luna asked.
"All it takes is a little bit of illusion magic, and a handful of soldiers becomes an entire division." Twilight smirked. "And it just so happens that I know somepony who is very good at illusions..."
She began laughing, and – to their surprise – the other three occupants of the room laughed with her.
March 16th 2016
Twilight and Raymond walked side-by-side down the row of soldiers, each of whom was standing at attention.
"Impressive..." Raymond said. "Looking at them, you wouldn't even begin to think that they were illusions."
Twilight nodded. "I know, right?" she looked at the other pony who was standing nearby with a small smile on her face. "I told you that I knew the right mare for the job." She walked over and gave the new arrival a hug. "Thanks for your help, Trixie."
"Happy to be of service, Twilight," Trixie replied. "I've been following events in the newspapers back home, and I have to say that I don't like the idea of this 'Apocalypse' coming to Equestria. So when you contacted me and asked for my assistance, I knew that it was the right thing to do — both as a service to my country, and as a way of making amends with you."
"And I really appreciate it," Twilight said. "We've been listening in on enemy communications, and they are panicking at the sudden increase in the size of our military power."
Raymond laughed. "A lot of them want to turn around and head back home, but the powers that be won't let them."
"Come, Trixie, and see for yourself." Twilight led the way over to a nearby tent. "We've managed to gain access to the surveillance systems at the enemy camp, so we can see for ourselves just how they are reacting to the presence of our phantom army."
Her horn flickered, and the table in the middle of the room glowed with a soft purple light. An image appeared, showing a heavily guarded military base decked out with the flags of the Azeertha Islands and Elyshia. The scene changed to show a trench outside of the base, which was filled with men looking anxiously at the soldiers less than a hundred metres away from them.
"I don't get it," one of the Azeerthian soldiers said. "Why aren't those bastards attacking us? They've got us beat on numbers."
"They're just trying to mess with our minds," an Elyshian soldier replied. "They may outnumber us, but our weapons are far superior to theirs. If they attack us, our machine guns will tear them to shreds before they can even get range to fire back."
"I heard that the top brass have a surprise for them," the Azeerthian said warily. "But it's just—" He stopped talking as the sky suddenly darkened, forcing the man to look up. "The truth."
The Elyshian looked up as well, and then laughed. "Well I'll be damned." he looked back across the lines. "This gon' be good."
Twilight, Raymond and Trixie looked at each other.
"What are they talking about?" Trixie asked.
"I don't know." Twilight scratched her head. "Something above them caught their attention... hold on a moment while I change the perspective of the spell, so we can see what it is."
Her horn glowed, and the scene shifted once again to reveal a sky swarming with hundreds of aircraft — each of which bore the unmistakable markings of the GDAF.
The spell faded from Twilight's horn as her jaw dropped, the last thing she saw being the first of thousands of bombs falling to earth.
"— and so, our phantom army was destroyed during the initial bombing raid. As soon as they realised the enemy weren't real, the GDA advanced another two-hundred and fifty miles before they stopped and dug in. They are now fifty miles from the capital, and the population is in full panic. Hundreds of thousands have fled to nearby neutral nations, including Insignificance." Raymond turned to a screen next to him. "Jock, how are you coping?"
"We're fine, all things considered." Jock sighed. "When the Apocalypse invaded Twilightlicious, they also invaded Tarbellville and Mistyoceans. Geo also stationed troops on his border with us, which is a clear violation of our neutrality." He muttered curses under his breath. "As for the refugees... they're a bit shaken up, but they are being well looked after — the GDN may be blockading us, but they can't stop foreign aid coming in."
"That's good to hear," Twilight said. "Thank you for your assistance, Jock, it is very much appreciated in these trying times."
"You're welcome, but I wish I could do more," Jock replied. "As for you, Celestia and Luna, I'm glad to see you both alive and well. When I heard what happened to the Paradise, I will admit to fearing the worst — but then I remembered who I was dealing with."
Celestia and Luna smiled warmly.
"That didn't stop the Apocalypse from sending one of their Hurricanes after us to finish the job," Celestia spat. "Twilight managed to shoot the aircraft down, but—"
"She did what?!" Jock gasped. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but... Princess Twilight, is that true? You single-handedly took down one of the most advanced aircraft in the world?"
"She did indeed," Raymond said proudly. "I couldn't believe it myself, but then I saw the thing hit the ground at Mach Five."
"Wow," Jock breathed. "Truly, Princess Twilight, you are a force to be reckoned with. Did you get anything from the pilot?"
"He... he took his own before we could capture him," Twilight said sadly. "We also examined the... what was it called?"
"The flight recorder?" Jock offered.
"Ah, yes, that. Thank you." Twilight smiled. "We examined the flight recorder but, unfortunately, there was nothing of value to be had."
"Damn it." Jock shook his head. "Well, at least nobody was—" He was cut off as a terrible wailing noise filled the air, which caused the colour to visibly drain from his face. "No... oh, no, no, no!" He shot to his feet and rushed out of view of the camera.
"Jock?" Raymond asked. "What is it?"
Jock's panicked face appeared on the screen. "It's an air raid!" he shouted. "I... I need to get out of—"
The screen began to flicker uncontrollably, Jock's voice and face both becoming distorted before the screen went black.
"Jock?" Raymond pressed a few buttons on his control panel. "This is Twilightlicious contacting Insignificance, do you read?" No reply came. "Insignificance, do you copy? Over." Still no reply came, at which Raymond slammed a fist into the console. "Dammit!"
"Careful now," another voice said. "Those things are expensive."
All eyes turned to the screen as the display changed to show a room with the flag of the Apocalypse hanging on the wall, and Geo sitting in a seat with his fingers in a pyramid shape.
"You..." Celestia hissed. "You will pay for what you have done to our nation and our people, you twisted tyrant."
"Oh, you two are still alive?" Geo raised an eyebrow.
"We are," Luna said smugly. "And the Hurricane you sent after us is nothing more than a smouldering pile of scrap metal."
"I kind of gathered that when I lost contact with the pilot, who then failed to return," Geo said. "I knew I should have sent in a platoon of Shadow Troopers, instead of one guy. Hurricanes aren't cheap, you know; they cost one-hundred and fifty million bits each."
"Really?" Twilight asked. "Well, in case you were wondering, their scrap value is three-hundred bits. Four-hundred if you push it."
"Mock me all you want, Princess," Geo said. "But the fact remains that you are now all alone, with nobody left to help you. I have crushed your allies, and your capital city is within my grasp. I come before you today to give you all one chance to surrender yourself, your friends... and your portal to Equestria."
"And what if I don't?" Twilight asked defiantly.
"Then every city in Twilightlicious will be on the receiving end of one – or more, I haven't decided yet – of the fifty-thousand plus nuclear missiles I have in my arsenal. I will turn your pitiful nation into a smouldering wasteland, if you do not submit to Twilightlicious and, by extension, Equestria being absorbed into the vast empire that is my glorious Apocalypse." He leaned closer. "You have thirty minutes to decide, or else I will press the button." He leaned back and tapped his wrist. "Thirty minutes, Princess, time's a wasting."
He made a cutting motion across his throat with his finger, and the screen went black once more — while his mocking laughter resonated throughout the room.
"You made the right choice, Princess," Raymond said, watching as Geo entered the room with his guards and stood in front of the desk. Celestia and Luna sat nearby, the looks of pure hatred on their faces being ignored completely by the Herald.
"Maybe so, Raymond, but at what cost?" Twilight sighed. "Jock is missing, millions have died and it now looks like my homeland is going to suffer the same fate as the Paradise."
Raymond laid a comforting hand on Twilight's back. "You did your best, standing up to that snake, but even you have your limits," he said. "Nonetheless, I'm sure that your deeds will be recorded in the history of our nation and the memories of its people."
At the mention of 'snake,' Twilight's ears perked up and a small smile made its way onto her lips for the briefest of moments — only to vanish when Geo cleared his throat impatiently.
"These are the terms of your surrender," he said. "Number one: your land is to be split between the Apocalypse and its allies. I told them that they would be rewarded for their assistance, and I am a man of my word. Number two: I want you to fork over every bit you've got, because I need to recover my losses. War isn't cheap, you know. Number three: You will turn over the wreckage of the Hurricane you shot down, and don't even think about trying to hide any of the pieces; I know those things like the back of my hand."
"If that's what it takes to avoid complete and total nuclear annihilation, so be it," Twilight replied. "All I ask in return is that you return control of the Equestrian Paradise to Celestia and Luna, release all your prisoners of war – including Jock – and ask your allies to end their blockade of my ports."
"First of all, Princess, Jock is not in any of my POW camps," Geo said sternly. "Secondly, what makes you think that you have the right to sit there and make demands of me?"
"You are asking for so much from me, so it's only fair I get a little in return." Twilight narrowed her eyes. "Besides, you haven't even started talking about what you really want from me."
"The portal?" Geo asked, to which Twilight nodded. "Well, yes, of course I want unrestricted access to that as well — but there are plenty of other things that we need to work out first."
Twilight stood up and walked around to the front of her desk. "You know, Raymond here described you as a snake," she said. "And I have to say that I agree with him. You coil yourself around everything you come into contact with, and now you seek to coil yourself around me. But you seem to forget just who I am, Herald, as well as misunderstand the powers that I wield."
"You're only delaying the inevitable," Geo spat. "Get to the point."
"My friends will tell you that I read a lot of books," Twilight continued. "It's a part of my character, and coming here didn't change that one bit. The libraries here are stocked with countless books about animals, technology, politics, medicine... and history."
"History?" Geo raised an eyebrow. "What in the hell does that—"
Twilight screamed in fury as her horn suddenly exploded with magic, the resulting flash blinding everyone in the room for a moment. When it cleared, Twilight had changed completely. Her eyes were blood red, her coat was completely white, and her mane and tail were awash with fire. Geo's guards gasped.
"She's a demon!" one of them said.
"KILL HER!" another yelled. "Protect the Herald!"
All as one, the men raised their weapons and fired, sending bullets flying towards Twilight, who made no attempt to move. At the last second, her magic flared again — and the projectiles disintegrated completely upon impacting the shield she had erected.
"Keep firing, you idiots!" Geo shouted. "I should have known that this would have been a trick! Captain, get a message back to the Apocalypse and tell them to prepare the nukes for launch!"
Twilight began walking towards him, blasting his bodyguards with bolts of magic that sent them hurtling into walls at high speed. The captain hurriedly grabbed a nearby radio beacon, only to cry out in shock as the device was blown to pieces. He pulled out his sidearm and took aim, but a flash of purple was the last thing he saw before his world went black and he fell to the floor.
Geo watched as his men were thrown around the room like ragdolls, helpless in the face of Twilight's fury. While she was distracted with his captain, he pulled out his knife and threw it at her — only for the weapon to be reflected back at him, firmly embedding itself in his left shoulder.
He grunted and reached up to pull the blade out, but Twilight grabbed him in her magical aura. He looked at her defiantly, not showing any emotion in the face of overwhelming rage.
"I guess I did underestimate your powers," he said. "So, Princess Twilight, what now? Are you going to kill me?"
In a flash, Twilight had returned to normal. "No, Geo." she shook her head. "All I'm doing is cutting the head off the snake. From reading the books here, I happen to know that you don't have anyone named as your successor in the event of your demise or incapacitation — so if I was to throw you in jail, the resulting power vacuum in the Apocalypse would lead to civil war... meaning that nobody would even bother trying to rescue you."
To her surprise, Geo applauded. "Very good, Princess, you certainly have done your homework," he said. "And there was me thinking that books were worthless things."
Twilight sneered at him. "Any last words before I take you to the dungeons?" she asked mockingly. "It's a really nice place, Herald... in fact, it's probably better than you deserve."
"I do have some last words." Geo smiled. "Five, in fact."
There was a pause before Twilight spoke. "Well, what are they?"
Geo looked her in the eyes. "You've passed with flying colours."
Twilight looked back at him in confusion, her magic fading and allowing the Herald to regain control of his body. He pulled the knife out of his shoulder, not even flinching, and set it on the table.
"I've 'passed with flying colours?'" Twilight asked. "What does that even mean? Are you trying to trick me?"
Geo chuckled. "Would you two show yourselves already, before this crazy mare goes full-on flame pony again?"
"Answer me!" Twilight shouted. "What are you—"
The room filled once again with a burst of magic, only this time it was a mixture of white and blue. When it faded, two new arrivals stood in the centre of the room — arrivals whom Twilight gasped at.
"Princess Celestia? Princess Luna?" she looked around the room frantically. "Could somepony tell me what's going on here?"
"Congratulations, Twilight," Princess Celestia said. "You have proven without a shadow of a doubt that you are ready to lead Equestria should Luna and I be indisposed. We sent you here to test your mettle as a leader, and to see how you would cope in a crisis."
"Indeed," Princess Luna added. "And war is certainly a crisis — but given that Equestria is a peaceful nation, we had to improvise."
"So..." Twilight was dumbfounded. "This whole thing was a test?"
Princess Luna nodded. "Yes, Twilight," she said. "We wanted to see how far you would be willing to go to defend Equestria, and we can see now that you would do whatever it takes to protect our homeland. This entire war, Twilight... has been staged."
"Staged?!" Twilight screeched. "But... but how? I've seen footage of the Apocalypse and their allies bombing cities!"
"That was just old footage," Geo said. "It was filmed during the war we fought with Insignificance and the Paradise."
"Speaking of the Paradise, you took it over!" Twilight shouted. "I was there when you tried killing Celestia and Luna!"
"Again, all fake." Geo laughed. "To be honest, though, I wasn't actually expecting you to shoot down the Hurricane I sent after them. What was supposed to happen was: the pilot would fire a few volleys of bullets and a couple of missiles, and then he'd give up and return to the Apocalypse." He paused. "Think about it, Princess, the whole region has been in on this from the start."
"And what about Jock?" Twilight demanded. "Where is he?"
Geo walked over to the unconscious guard captain and pulled his balaclava off, revealing him to be none other than Jock. "Jock is right here," he said. "He was in on it too."
Twilight gasped and flared her magic again, rousing each of the guards back to consciousness. They all stood up slowly, looking around blearily before Geo addressed them.
"The truth is out now, men," he said. "Stand down and go wait in the corridor for me while I talk things out here."
"As you wish, Herald." the guards spoke in unison and left the room, leaving Jock standing next to Geo.
"Jock..." Twilight said. "Are you all right?"
Jock nodded. "Aye, Princess, I'm fine." he chuckled. "Sorry to have scared you like that, though, but I needed a cover story. By making you think that I was a prisoner, I knew I would be able to get into Twilightlicious without arousing suspicion."
Twilight sat down on the floor, completely stunned. Luna and Celestia walked over and sat next to her, each woman putting a comforting arm around the alicorn.
"We're sorry to have tricked you like this, Princess Twilight," Celestia said. "But we felt that this would be an ideal test of your leadership capabilities. You remained strong in the face of overwhelming odds, and for that we applaud you."
"Thank you." Twilight thought for a moment. "Wait, it's going to get confusing here now that we have two Celestias and two Lunas."
"Actually, 'Celestia' and 'Luna' are nicknames," Luna said. "When we were younger, we both had an interest in astronomy, so our parents – may they rest in peace – nicknamed me 'Luna,' because I was always talking about the moon, and they nicknamed my sister 'Celestia,' because she kept going on about 'celestial bodies.'"
"So..." Twilight wondered. "What are your real names?"
"I am called Tracy," Celestia said. "And my sister is called Sandra. So, to avoid confusion, you may address us as such."
NOTE: From this point onwards, any mention of 'Celestia' or 'Luna' will refer to the alicorn, and not the human.
"Very well, I will." Twilight turned to her fellow Princesses. "But one question still remains: why would you reach out to a dictator?"
"I understand that the Herald isn't exactly the sort of individual whom we would normally co-operate with," Celestia said. "But he was the only one who could help us issue such a test, given how his nation spends so much on its military power."
"So... he never really wanted to invade Equestria?" Twilight asked.
"I only wish to visit Equestria as a tourist, not an occupier," Geo said firmly. "I may be an oppressor, but that's only because of my predecessor, demented bastard that he was."
"You mean the man you killed?" Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Who was he, anyway? I don't recall you ever mentioning his name."
"He called himself 'King Sombra,'" Geo replied. "A name I believe you are all too familiar with." Twilight nodded, and he laughed. "It would seem that our universes have much more in common than I thought. Anyway, I killed Sombra because he went mad with power and tried embarking on a quest for world domination. He pissed off a lot of people, and the only way to save our nation was for him to die — and I was the only one who had the balls to do it. But because he had been in charge for so long, the people had actually grown to like the maniacal buffoon. This of course meant that I wasn't too popular once I took over... but, thankfully, much of the military supported me, seeing as they opposed his plans."
"So, basically... you are only oppressing your people because they hate your guts, and would rather have someone like Sombra back in power?" Raymond asked, to which Geo nodded. "Wow, and there was me thinking you were just a crazy son of a bitch."
"Oh, I am a 'crazy son of a bitch,' don't you worry about that." Geo grinned. "Besides, it was my ancestor who founded the Apocalypse in the first place. I was merely taking back what is rightfully mine, whilst making sure to tie up a few loose ends along the way." He walked over to Twilight. "But, yes, Princess, I was contacted by Celestia and Luna here to help teach you a lesson. And they are right when they say that Equestria would be perfectly safe and content in your capable hooves, should the situation call for it."
Twilight glanced at Raymond. "Were you in on this too?"
Raymond nodded. "Everybody was, Your Highness." he let out a chuckle. "Honestly, you have no idea how hard it was to keep the truth concealed until we felt you were ready to hear it."
Geo looked at the still bleeding wound on his shoulder. "In all honesty, I was going to tell you the truth when I 'accepted your surrender.' But when you attacked me – which I don't blame you for, given all you thought I'd done – I knew I had to come clean."
Jock took a bandage from one of the pouches on his belt and applied it to the injury. "You are quite a capable opponent, Princess Twilight," he said. "I should be lucky that you only knocked us out."
"In Equestria, we don't believe in taking lives unnecessarily," Twilight replied. "I do know offensive magic, but I would only ever use it as an extreme last resort; an example being that somepony had me pinned down and was hell-bent on ending my life."
"I understand." Jock finished applying the bandage to Geo's shoulder. "There you are, Herald, good as new."
"Thanks, Jock," Geo replied. "Now, I guess the next order of business is for me to withdraw my forces from all 'occupied' nations, and formally return control of the Equestrian Paradise to Sandra and Tracy." He grinned. "Did you like the name change?"
Sandra giggled. "It was quite amusing," she said.
"We weren't expecting you to go that far," Tracy added. "But I can't fault you for trying to make things look convincing."
"Where do we go from here, though?" Twilight asked. "If my test is over, then that means I will need to leave Twilightlicious and return to Equestria. But... who will lead the nation?"
"Well..." Raymond coughed. "I have a confession to make, Princess. I'm not an 'advisor' by any stretch of the imagination. Before we renamed this country in honour of you coming to lead it, it was called 'New Britannia...' and I was its leader."
Twilight gasped. "So that means..."
"I'm not just 'Raymond,' Twilight." Raymond laughed. "My full name and title is actually 'President Raymond Bullock,' and I must say that I am very pleased with what you have done to my nation. The people are happier than they've ever been, the economy flourishes and our trade is booming." He bowed. "I am honoured to have served both alongside and under you, Your Highness."
Twilight returned his bow. "The honour has been all mine, sir," she replied. "You have been a good friend to me, and I will not forget the kindness you and your people have shown."
Raymond nodded and sat down at the desk. "In recognition of all that you have done, the name of our nation will not be changed back after your departure," he said. "We will continue to proudly call our nation 'Twilightlicious,' in honour of one of the best leaders we have ever had; somepony who came to us and led us through what could have been a dark point in our history."
Twilight blushed. "I'm honoured," she whispered. "Thank you."
Geo applauded. "Well done, Princess," he said. "Now, I would very much like to talk to you, Celestia and Luna about visiting Equestria at some point; I have a lot of holiday time that I need to use."
"As long as you leave your army at home, Herald, we'll be happy to accommodate you." Twilight smiled slyly. "Shall we?"
"Not even one division?" Geo asked. "I have one-hundred and fifty-eight thousand of them, so I can spare one to..." He trailed off as he noticed the raised eyebrows on all three alicorns. "All right, fine, I'll just bring a few of my bodyguards."
Twilight giggled as the Herald followed her, Celestia and Luna into an adjoining room — happy that she had succeeded in her test, as well as the fact that friendship had prevailed once more.
PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL For the eyes of Princess Twilight Sparkle only
Princess Twilight
I know that you will be returning home soon, but I just wanted to share with you how things have changed in the time you've been leading my nation. I hope it makes for pleasant reading.
You have done us a great service, and you will always be welcome here. Furthermore, you will always have our support should you need it. After all, friends always stick together.
Respectfully yours, President Raymond Bullock.
ECONOMY
Since the last report, the economy has risen from thirty-nine point one trillion bits per year to one-hundred and thirty-nine trillion bits per year, which is a rise of 99,900,000,000,000 (ninety-nine point nine trillion) bits. The economy has been described by your financial team as 'very strong.'
However, you will be pleased to hear that Arms Manufacturing no longer accounts for most of Twilightlicious' income. The Tourism industry now leads the way, with 'significant contributions' from Information Technology, Book Publishing and Trout Farming.
INCOME AND EXPENDITURE
Since the last report, the tax rate has increased from thirty-two point one percent to sixty-eight point one percent, which is an increase of thirty-six percent. As before, though, wealthier citizens are continuing to pay much more tax than poorer citizens.
Education, Welfare and Healthcare get the most money from the budget, the latter having replaced Law and Order.
The average income has increased from twenty-eight thousand, nine-hundred and twenty-eight bits per year to sixty-one thousand, five-hundred and fifty-seven, which is a big increase of thirty-two thousand, six-hundred and twenty-nine.
The gap between rich and poor has changed as well, to the point where there is little difference between richer and poorer earners.
POPULATION
The population has increased from one point three five billion people to two point two seven four billion people, a rise of nine-hundred and twenty-four million. Again, immigration and rising birth rates are believed to be responsible for the increase.
DIPLOMACY
Things couldn't be better, diplomacy wise. All of our alliances are stronger than ever, and we look forward to increasing our bond with Equestria through tourism and trade.
Our alliance with the Apocalypse continues to be the strongest one we have, and Geo seems keen to keep it that way; as evidenced by the fact he helped us to recapture the Manticore Isles, which we lost after the Wezeltonians invaded. Nearly two-hundred GDA troops were killed, but Geo doesn't seem to mind, saying that he was looking for an excuse to teach Emperor Wezel some manners.
IN CONCLUSION
Once again, I find myself repeating what I told you earlier: that I am proud to have served you, and that I am honoured to call you my friend. May Violet preserve you forever more.
This is my last day in Twilightlicious. I'm all prepared, and I will be returning to Equestria tomorrow morning. I have learned so much while I've been here, and been through so much more, but at least I can take solace in the fact I have made so many new friends.
The last few days have been... intense, to say the least. I'm still getting over the fact that this whole thing was just a test, and that the Apocalypse wasn't really out for blood after all.
Having said that, it's going to take me even longer to get over the fact that Geo isn't as bad as I thought he was.
However, my friends weren't in on the act; when I told them what happened, they reacted with just as much shock as I had. It soon transpired that they weren't invited to the 'surrender' in case they tried to defend me and somepony got hurt... or killed. I have Sandra and Tracy to thank for that one, as it was their idea not to let them come along. But knowing how Applejack and Rainbow Dash can get, I'm honestly glad they weren't there.
I can picture it now: Applejack would tie Geo up while Rainbow Dash flew around the room, 'kicking flank and taking names.'
But the biggest surprise of all was finding out that I've had a President acting as my assistant this entire time. I'm honoured that Raymond said the name of the country would not change, but he did tell me that the flag, motto and currency would all be changing back to what they were before I arrived to assume control.
As for the Apocalypse... I honestly used to fear them and what they were capable of, but a lot of truth was heaped on me at that meeting, and I now see them in a new light. If their Sombra was anything like ours, I can see why Geo would be keen to suppress any support of him that the people may still have.
I am looking forward to going home and sharing my story with the ponies there, and I'm further looking forward to the day when we welcome the first tourists from Twilightlicious to Equestria. Raymond has already expressed an interest in visiting, as have Tracy and Sandra — who have apparently stopped referring to themselves by the nicknames their parents gave them.
I am filled with pride at my accomplishments in the People's Republic, and I am proud to have so many new friends. It was a long and often stressful journey, but I can honestly say that it was the best journey of my life... at least, so far.
Must stop; tomorrow is going to be an emotional day.
Twilight looked down at the sea of people on the street below, all of them cheering and shouting her name. Some waved the flags of Equestria and Twilightlicious, while others held up large banners saying things like 'PLEASE COME AND VISIT,' 'WE WILL MISS YOU, PRINCESS TWILIGHT' and 'GOOD LUCK BACK HOME.'
She sniffled as she walked outside onto the balcony, the cheering intensifying as the crowd caught sight of her. They surged forwards eagerly, only to meet a wall of police officers and GDA troops. Raising a hoof was all Twilight had to do to attain the quiet she needed in order to address the excited masses.
"People of Twilightlicious!" she shouted, her voice amplified by magic. "Today is my last day as your ruler, for soon I will be returning to my homeland of Equestria. But before I go, I want to thank you all for your kindness and your hospitality. You are, without a doubt, the most wonderful people I have ever met, and I am proud to have led you. I will return to you one day, albeit as a tourist, and I also look forward to the day when you will visit my homeland. The time I have spent with you has been the happiest of my life, but – as the saying goes – 'all good things must come to an end.' But fear not, for I leave you in the capable hands of your previous ruler." She stepped to one side. "It gives me great pleasure to introduce... President Raymond Bullock!"
Raymond stepped forward wearing his usual suit, the only major difference about his appearance being the fact he'd had a haircut. The people cheered wildly as their president made himself known, before going silent once more as he raised a hand.
"My people," he said. "Brothers and sisters, sons and daughters of our glorious land, I am proud to be leading you once more. So much has happened over the last few months, and our once fledgling nation has successfully made its mark on the world. We are happy and prosperous, and it is all thanks to the efforts of the wonderful Princess Twilight Sparkle."
"As you all know, we will soon be changing our national motto, flag and currency back to what it was before. However, in honour of all that Princess Twilight has done, I would not have us go back to being called 'New Britannia,' and instead keep the name of our nation as 'Twilightlicious.' What say you, good people?" A momentous 'Aye!' rose up from the crowd, and Raymond nodded. "So be it. My first act as President is to therefore decree that 'New Britannia' is no more. From now until the end of time, we shall be 'Twilightlicious!'"
The crowd cheered again. Raymond and Twilight both gave one final wave before leaving the balcony and going back inside, where they were met by Geo, Celestia, Luna, Jock, Sandra and Tracy.
"A fine speech, Your Majesties." Geo saluted. "I couldn't have worded it better myself... then again, I've only ever addressed crowds from behind six inches of bulletproof glass."
"Thank you, Herald Geo." Raymond turned to face the three alicorns. "Princesses, are you ready to depart?"
"We are," Celestia said. "Now, Twilight, do you wish to say your goodbyes before we return to Equestria?"
Twilight nodded. "I do," she said. "Sandra, Tracy and Jock... I'm glad to have had you by my side these last few months. You are all wonderful leaders, and amazing friends; maybe I'll see you all in Equestria soon? I know a great little bakery..."
"I'd like that very much," Tracy replied.
"As would I," Sandra added. "It has been a while since we took a holiday, and even longer since I had a slice of cake."
"I'm already making preparations to visit," Jock said. "My advisors have been bugging me to take some time off, and Equestria sounds like the ideal place to relax and unwind."
Twilight giggled, then brought all three in for a group hug. "I look forward to your visits, then," she said. "Farewell for now."
"Farewell." Tracy, Sandra and Jock spoke in unison.
Breaking apart from the hug, Twilight addressed Raymond.
"Raymond, you have been instrumental during my time here," she said. "You have stood by my side through thick and thin, and for that I will be eternally grateful." She hugged him. "Thank you."
"I've learned a lot from you, Princess Twilight," Raymond replied as they separated. "I hope that I can be half the leader you were."
"You'll be fine, don't worry about it," Twilight said. "After all, you seemed to be doing fine before I came along."
"That's true." Raymond chuckled.
Twilight smiled at him before walking over to Geo.
"Herald Geo..." Twilight sighed. "In all honesty, there was a time when I was scared of you and what you were capable of. But knowing what I know now... I finally understand why you act the way you do. You are a good man, you just do bad things because it is the only way to avoid a repeat of what the Apocalypse went through when that maniac Sombra was in power."
"Exactly." Geo nodded. "I have no wish for world domination, I just want to continue the legacy that my ancestor established."
To his surprise, Twilight hugged him. "And in that, I wish you all the luck in this world and mine." she drew back. "I see you as a friend now, Herald, so hopefully you'll come and visit Equestria soon?"
"I will," Geo said. "Once I put down yet another rebellion that those Sombra-worshipping crackpots are planning. And you need not worry about the safety of this place while you're back home; I have more than enough military power to protect Twilightlicious, Insignificance and the Paradise all at once."
"Good to know." Twilight turned to Celestia and Luna. "I'm ready to go home to Equestria. Furthermore, I'm keen to get started on discussing where we are going to site the portal."
Celestia and Luna nodded and lit their horns.
"Goodbye, friends," Twilight said, as the light got brighter. "But hopefully not for long, right?"
The other occupants in the room shielded their eyes as a loud pop filled the air. When the light faded, the three alicorns were gone.
Geo walked over to where they had stood. "Well, that's the end of that chapter," he said. "What do we do now, my fellow leaders?"
"It's simple," Raymond replied. "We start writing the next one."
Tracy, Sandra and Jock nodded.
"Very well," Geo said. "Then let us start packing, for it would seem that we've got the mother of all holidays to organise..."
