Buying what was most likely a pirated copy of a then unreleased Kingdom Hearts 3, Alex Lionheart finds himself in a new world and a new body.
After ordering a copy of the as yet to be released Kingdom Hearts, Alex Lionheart's life is thrown into disarray. Now living with pastel colors ponies and dealing with a body that's years younger and of the wrong gender, Alex has to find his place in this new world.
A spin-off of "And Then There Was 10... Er 67," reading that story isn't required but it may help your understanding of this story. Now with co-author Voldine! Edited by Emtu
Alex groaned as he came back to the waking world, his head throbbing. He had no idea where he was but he knew it wasn’t the convention hall. He frowned, starting to sit up, only to be stopped and gently pushed back down.
“Don’t try to get up,” a gentle voice said, male from the sounds of it.
“Where am I?” Alex asked with a moan, trying to get a good look at the speaker.
“You’re in– well... we don’t really have a name for it, we’ve always just called it Our Town. We found you passed out in the snow after we drove that liar Starlight out of town. Do you remember how you got there?”
“Snow?” Alex asked in confusion, giving his head a nice shake. There wasn’t any snow in Nevada. “Last thing I remember is... falling... Who’s Starlight?”
“Don’t worry I’m sure it’ll come to you,” the voice said with a slight chuckle, “I’m Double Diamond. It’s a pleasure to meet you. As for Starlight, she was the mare that tricked us into giving up our cutie marks for equality.”
“I’m Alex... the hell is a cutie-” Alex froze, finally able to see this ‘Double Diamond’, which appeared to be a short white horse. “And now I’m seeing horses, that’s just fucking lovely.”
“Actually, I’m a pony,” Diamond corrected, giving Alex a smile.
Alex just stared at him for a moment before bolting out of the bed, backing away from the pony. “OK, I’m either very high or something is very wrong with my head.”
“I assure you, this is all quite real.” Diamond took a few cautious steps forward, trying to be as nonthreatening as possible, so as not to make Alex freak out.
“You- you stay away from me you freaky horse!” Alex shouted, instinctively throwing a hand out. He stopped, staring at it. First of all, he was wearing black gloves and his previously green shirt had somehow become black leather. Alex looked down at himself, his eyes widening, “The hell?” he asked, seeing that he was wearing a perfect replica of the uniform worn by Organization XIII members. “Get me a mirror!”
“I uh, what?” Diamond stuttered, looking at Alex like a lost puppy.
“Mirror! Bring me one!” Alex hissed, glaring at him. The pony gulped, galloping off and coming back with a full body mirror, which he propped up against the wall.
“I’ll uh... go tell the others that you're awake,” he muttered before galloping out of the house, shutting the door behind him. Alex watched him go before taking in a breath and stepping in front of the mirror. Staring back at him was the image of a young girl, probably around fourteen, with black hair and blue eyes. “Xion?” he asked in disbelief, staring hard at his reflection. “I get turned into fucking Xion? The puppet who everyone forgot? I couldn’t get turned into Sora? Or Roxas?!” He looked at his hand, thinking. If he was Xion... He held his hand out and in a flash of light, the keyblade appeared in his hand. He held it up to his face, glaring at it, “You did this to me!” he shouted, flinging it across the room.
Alex screamed in rage as he punched the mirror, not caring if he hurt his hand. The image in the mirror wasn’t his and it infuriated him to no end. “Fuck it all!” he screamed as he summoned his keyblade back to his hand, proceeding to start wrecking the whole house, blindly swinging it around. He didn’t notice as he brought it down on a strange diamond, which he sent tumbling under the bed, letting out a cry of fury before collapsing to his knees, starting to sob heavily.
“Alex?” Double Diamond asked, peeking into the house, a worried look on his face. A moment later, the keyblade went flying, nearly smacking him in the head.
“Get out!” Alex screamed, glaring at him as hard as he could manage. Double Diamond didn’t argue, taking off as fast as he could, deciding it was probably best to let him calm down. Alex sat against the wall, hugging his knees, sobbing softly, not really paying attention to what was going on around him.
“Hey,” a soft voice spoke from behind him. “Looks like you could use a friend.” He jumped to his feet, teleporting the keyblade back into his hands, trying to see through the tears. Standing in his room was a lovely young woman. She had blonde hair that ran past her shoulders and down her back. She wore a black jacket over a white t-shirt and dark khaki pants. “Don’t be afraid,” she said, still ever so softly. “I’m not here to hurt you.”
“Who the fuck are you?” he demanded, clutching the keyblade tighter, looking like he was ready to explode again, “I don’t need this shit, lady!”
“Calm down,” she said with a bit of firmness now in her voice. “My name is Kat and I just want to help you and be your friend.”
“Don’t you fucking tell me to be calm!” Alex shouted, lunging at her, swinging the keyblade at her head.
Kat moved right inside the swing and grabbed Alex. But instead of attacking like he had expected, she simply hugged him. She said nothing, just rubbing his back as she held him close. He blinked in shock before the keyblade slipped from his fingers, clattering to the floor. He hugged her back, crying his eyes out, collapsing against her.
“Shh,” Kat cooed. “You’re alright. There’s no one here who can hurt you. You can trust me.”
“I just want to be me!” he cried, burying his face into her neck. “I don’t even know who or what I am anymore!”
“You are whoever you make yourself out to be,” she told him. “It’s up to you, no one else.”
“No!” he shouted, looking into her eyes. “Who do you see!? Sora? Roxas? Ventus? A faceless doll!? I don’t have a face!” he shouted, falling to his knees, sobbing louder than before.
Kat crouched down, putting her hands on his shoulders. "What I see is someone who is scared and in need of a good friend."
“I-I’m sorry, I just... I want to be me..” Alex looked up at her, staring into her eyes, “I just woke up here, looking like this... I’m not even a real person anymore...”
Once again, Kat pulled him into a hug. “Now now, that’s enough of that,” she said softly. “Just tell auntie everything.”
“You don’t understand... I am nothing. I’m Xion... a copy of a Nobody. It’s like dividing by zero. I don’t even really exist. All because I wanted that keyblade...” He hugged her back, closing his eyes.
Kat closed her own eyes, soothing him. “You are not nothing,” she finally said. “I can feel you here in my arms. I can see your pain through your tears in your eyes. Nothing doesn’t feel pain like that. Something that didn’t exist would not be so torn up. You do exist, right here in my arms, where someone cares about you.”
“Please... I need to know... what do you see when you look at me?” he asked, opening his eyes again, his voice pleading.
“I see...” Kat looked at the person she was holding. “I see a young girl with black hair and deep blue eyes. But I can sense that you, like some I’ve met before, were not originally a girl.”
“No I wasn’t... I was a... well it doesn’t matter now does it?” he asked with a sigh, rubbing at his eyes, ”I... I’m sorry I swung at you..”
“It’s more than alright.” She smiled. “You’re not the first to try to kill me, and you certainly won’t be the last.”
“I’m Alex,” he said, holding his gloved hand out, sniffling a little, “And you're currently in Our Town.”
“Our Town?” Kat asked, shaking his hand. “What is Our Town? I’ve never heard of it.”
“According to Double Diamond, it was a town based on some equality cult. Said something about giving up their ‘cutie marks’ and being all the same. Got a real Stepford Wives vibe from what he told me...”
“Giving up cutie marks?” Kat asked, not liking the sound of that. “There’s something very wrong about that. A cutie mark defines a pony, makes them who they are. It’s a literal interpretation of who they are. If it were to be taken away... I don’t even want to think about that.”
“Yeah apparently the leader got chased out of town, and they found me in the snow on the way back,” Alex said, looking at the door as Double Diamond peeked in again.
“Am I uh...” he paused looking at Kat, “Am I interrupting?”
“Hello,” Kat waved at the pony. “I was just visiting my new friend.”
“It’s okay Diamond, you can come in...” Alex frowned, looking around the destroyed home, “Sorry about... all the stuff...”
“It’s alright Alex,” Diamond said, walking into the home. “Nice to meet you miss, I’m Double Diamond.”
“A pleasure. My name is Kat.”
“Welcome to Our Town, Kat,” he said and for a brief moment gave a really creepy smile before he snapped out of it. “Sorry... Starlight’s creeds are still rattling around in our heads.”
“It’s alright... I suppose.”
“So, how did you get here? None of us saw you walk into town.”
“I have my ways,” she smirked.
“That didn’t didn’t answer my question...” he said, looking at her with a frown.
“Don’t look at me dude, I was too busy wrecking the place. Dear god, I’m as unstable as the actual Xion.” Alex sighed, running a hand through his hair. He turned his gaze to Kat, looking her over. “I uh, take it this isn’t new to you?”
She smiled. “You have no idea.”
“Not uh very talkative are you?” Diamond asked, sitting down on a bare patch of floor, trying not to wince at the destruction Alex had wrought on the home.
“If I start talking, I’m going to end up breaking your mind... and I don’t want to do that... again.”
“Break my mind? What makes you think that?” he asked, frowning deeper.
“You’d need to understand theories and the laws of physics... and then completely shove them aside because they’d no longer work.”
“Just tell us already will ya? Can’t mess me up anymore than I already am at this point,” Alex urged, trying to get comfortable. “I’m already a video game character in the land of ponies, do your worst.”
Kat shrugged, leaning against the far wall to see both of them. “You’re not the only one this has happened to.”
“It happened to you?”
“To me and about five hundred others so far.”
“Damn, that’s a lot,” Alex said, eyes wide in surprise. “Who’d you turn into? You look vaguely familiar.”
Kat snapped her fingers to make a vortex appear, showing her original appearance. “That was me when I was first Displaced. I was dressed as the main character from the video game Gravity Rush.”
“Oh yeah, that game. Never had a Vita, never had the money,” Alex said, nodding his head. “Is that what we are, Displaced?”
“Yep. People who were Displaced were granted the powers and abilities of the costumes or props they were wearing. You turned into this... Kingdom Hearts character, keyblade included. I turned into a gravity shifter. Others turned into all different sorts of other things.”
“Like what? Anything cool like Shao Khan? Or maybe Goku? Or even Mega Man?” Alex asked, eyes widening at the possibilities.
“...let’s not talk about Goku,” Kat said, looking away. “Anyway, all sorts of beings. There’s a time manipulator, a living symbiote, a family of warriors, the list goes on.”
“I take it you’ve met a lot of them, anyone to look out for? I don’t want to get blindsided by any jackasses who thought it would be fun to turn into a psychopath or something.”
“Stay away from the Makuta,” Kat said with a growl. “He’s the only one I can truly say you need to avoid. However, should you find yourself powerful enough, he may come looking for you. Gauge your chances carefully, as you will need to either fight or run.”
“I have no idea what that is but I already don’t like it,” Alex blinked, summoning his keyblade back to his hand. “I mean I got this thing but I’d rather not become monster Xion. OK, next question, any good people to look out for?”
“Lot’s of ‘em,” Kat nodded with a smile. “Gilgamesh, Lee, Jason, Amy, all sorts of different people. It’s all up to you who is the best choice to help you along the way.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. That still doesn’t answer the question of how you got here,” Alex pointed out, with Diamond nodding, “unless one of your super powers is to know when people are having major freak outs.”
“Actually,” Kat said, reaching out with her hand. Out from under the bed, the diamond flew into the air, landing in her hand. “You technically summoned me here.”
“The hell is that thing? Some kinda spying crystal?” Alex, asked, leaning in close to look at it.
Kat giggled. “No, silly. It’s my token. Every Displaced has a special token that allows you to contact them.” She lifted up the diamond. “This one is mine. You hit it in your freak out, activating it.”
“Seems like a hassle,” Alex said with a shrug, “What you just up and get chucked into whatever place you get called to?”
“You can be in the beginning. But as you travel and get more accustomed to being summoned, you’ll be able to reject summons and use them properly.” She walked over and put her hand on his shoulder. “When you activated my totem, I could hear you breaking apart. I came here to see if I could help.”
“Thanks...” Alex said, looking away. “I’m not normally like this. I just had to become the unstable clone didn’t I?” he asked, letting himself fall back onto the floor.
“Hey!” she said with a touch of force. “Enough of that. You’re still you, despite how you may look. Look,” Kat dropped down to look him in the eye. “Being a Displaced is hard, and it will only get harder as your journey continues. But you’re not alone. You will never be on your own during that journey. Along the way, there will be others like me who will be able to help you.” She moved a strand of hair from his face. “You just have to be the best you, you can be.”
“Heh...” he said looking away with a blush, “A hot lady basically stroking my face and I’m stuck as a fourteen year old. Where’s the love?”
Kat giggled, leaning in to whisper, “When you get back on your feet again, then we’ll talk.”
Alex just stared at her a little wide eyed, floundering in his attempts to reply.
“So, these... ‘tokens’,” Diamond interrupted, “Does Alex have one as well?”
Kat looked up. “Most of the time, it’s up to each Displaced to make their own to distribute into the Void.”
“And how the hell do I do that?” Alex asked, sitting up, brushing some debris out of his hair, “I don’t exactly have a whole lot of stuff with me at the moment.”
“Hmm...” Kat thought on it. “Well, each token should be a unique representation of the individual.”
“I dunno I got...” Alex paused, searching through his pockets, “Damn this thing has like fifteen pockets... wait... I think I got something...”
“Oh?” Kat and Diamond asked.
“Tada~!” he said pulling out a strange looking sea shell, “If I recall correctly, this is a Thalassa shell and is mostly unique to Xion.” He tossed it up in the air, catching it. “Works for me.”
“Alright, now you need to embody a message within and then send it into the Void.”
“What? Just say whatever comes to mind?” he asked, looking down at the shell. “Any suggestions here?”
“It needs to be a representation of who you are and what you do. Are you a helper or a hinderer?”
“Well... I was an EMT...” he said, rubbing the back of his head, “Can’t say I’m much of a hinderer.” He stared at the shell, trying to come up with something. After a moment he cleared his throat, “Whoever finds this shell, if you ever find yourself assaulted by the light or the dark, call upon me, the one who walks the path between, and I will show your enemies the power of nothing.” Alex went silent for a moment before the shell burst into thousands of tiny bits of light.
“Congrats,” Kat praised. “You’ve joined the ranks of the Displaced.”
“Do I get a cake or something?” Alex asked, watching as the bits of light slowly faded out of existence.
Kat snapped her fingers, a cookie appearing in his hand. “Sorry, I don’t know how to make good cakes.”
“Holy crap! You have awesome powers!” Alex said, taking a bite of the cookie, savoring the flavor.
“Miss Kat, will you be staying long? We were going to have a get together later today,” Diamond said, looking up at her, “We’d love it for you to be there.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Kat said slowly. “I usually don’t hang around longer than I’m needed. Most of the time I leave it up to my summoner when I should get going. Don’t want to overstay my welcome.”
“Look Kat, you know more about these guys than I do. They just got de-brainwashed or something, cut them some slack.” Alex reminded her, “I have no idea what the hell a cutie mark is.”
“Butt mark,” Kat points to the flowers on Diamond’s flank.
“Like I said, they had them all taken or something, Diamond can tell ya better,” Alex said, gesturing to the stallion.
“Starlight Glimmer told us all that our cutie marks were evil, that being better than somepony else at anything would just lead to conflict. She convinced us all that the only way for equality is if we were all the same...” He looked at the floor, drawing circles with his hoof.
“All creatures are equal,” Kat said. “They are equal in their rights, but that does not mean they need to be simple copies of one another. That creates sterility and eventually leads to self-destruction.”
“We didn’t question her until Princess Twilight showed us she was a hypocrite, she had taken our marks, but didn’t give up her own,” Diamond said, a bit of spite entering his voice, “We chased her out of town and found Alex in the snow on the way back.”
“Well at least he was found. One could die like that.”
“I actually don’t know if I can die from stuff like that,” Alex said with a shrug, “I mean when the original Xion died she just turned into crystal and broke apart.”
“Displaced are not unkillable, Alex,” Kat advised. “We may be ageless, but death can still find us.”
“Wait, we’re ageless?!” Alex asked with wide eyes, “I’m going to be stuck at fourteen for all eternity!?”
“Unless you can find magic to do otherwise,” Kat told him. “I used to look like a petite eighteen year old for nearly thirteen hundred years and now look at me. I’m hot~.”
“‘Cause that makes me feel better,” Alex said, rolling his eyes at her.
“Hey, when you’re Displaced, just expect the unexpected. Trust me.”
“Well this certainly is a surprise,” a new voice said from the doorway to the bedroom.
“Hmm?” Kat said, looking to the door.
Standing there was a rather tall man, garbed in the same robes as Alex. He had tan skin, sickly yellow eyes and silverish white hair.
“Oh shit!” Alex shouted, jumping to his feet and summoning up his keyblade, all the while trying his best to look intimidating.
Kat looked between them for a moment. “Alright, what’s going on?”
“Oh I just happen to be one of the villains,” the man said with a shrug, “Or at least look like one. I’m going to take a guess and say you're Kat Shifter, correct?”
“How do you know me?” Kat said, lowering her feet to the ground.
“I used to share a world with Jason,” he said simply, leaning on the door frame.
Kat relaxed slightly. “Oh? He never mentioned any... other... Displaced...” Faster than the man could blink, a sword was pointed at his throat. “Explain. Now.”
“I’m pretty sure he did. As I recall, he told me you gave Twilight a spell to track me and my brother.” He looked at her, unphased by the sword.
“Which is why this sword is pointed at you,” Kat seethed. “He told me you’re not exactly one of the good guys so get to talkin’.”
“Yes, I let what I had become consume me, but no more. I paid for my actions and came here to start fresh.” He looked to Alex. “What I wasn’t expecting was another Displaced to show up as well.”
“Don’t take offense if I don’t trust your word,” Kat told him, slowly pulling back her blade. “Now what do you want?”
“A rather broad question, don’t you think?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.
“You may be a Nobody, but trust me when I say I can find a way to destroy you,” she glared.
“I don’t doubt that, as for what I want, I simply want a fresh start.” He gestured to the village. “Who do you think helped the girls after they got brainwashed?”
“Ponies?” Kat prodded. “Unlike most of our kind, I actually have faith in pony kind in being able to take care of themselves.”
“Actually um... Mr. Xemnas was the one who freed us,” Diamond spoke up. “Starlight had broken the princess and her friends and if he hadn’t helped she’d have used them to spread her ideas across Equestria.”
“Broke them?” Kat’s attention was now on Double Diamond completely. “Are they alright?! Where are they?!”
“T-They went home!” he yelped, jumping back, his eyes wide.
“Are they better, though? Tell me!”
“Of course! They got their cutie marks back just like everypony else!”
Kat sighed. “That’s a relief... now where is this former leader of yours?” Kat’s eyes took on a colder appearance. “I’ve got some torturous plans for her.”
“We don’t know, she escaped into the mountains,” Diamond said, backing up with a gulp.
“Ohoho, when I get my hands on that salope,” she chuckled darkly, beginning to even scare Alex and Xemnas. “There will be repercussions for what she’s done.”
“Let the ponies figure it out,” Xemnas said, putting his hand on her shoulder.
“Hmmm...” Kat thought on it. “...No, I’m gonna cut a salope. But I’ll find her when I’m good and ready.”
“We have no right to play judge and jury,” he said firmly.
“Screw you with a lead pipe,” Kat told him nonchalantly.
“Drop it, Kat,” Xemnas said with a warning tone, narrowing his eyes.
She smirked. “You obviously don’t know how I work. So, what was that about a party?”
“We’re celebrating our freedom with a bonfire,” Diamond explained, hoping to calm the situation down, “We’re uh... going to burn Starlight’s house down since no one wants it.”
“...I’m in.”
“I’m... lost...” Alex said, relaxing his stance, scratching his head.
“You will be for a while,” Xemnas said with a chuckle. “You get used to it though.” He moved toward the door, looking back at them, “Well?”
“Hold up,” Kat said, ruffling through her jacket. “There it is.” She pulled out a strange looking badge and pressed it to the outer portion of her jacket. A green flash went off and in Kat’s place was a golden-furred earth pony mare. “Lezzgo!”
“Do I really want to know why you have an Omnitrix?” Xemnas asked with a ‘really’ look, “You know what, never mind.” He moved out of the house and into the town.
“It’s not an Omnitrix,” Kat said, walking behind him with Alex and Diamond in tow. “It’s just a little gift from my little brother.”
Diamond looked at Alex, giving him a confused look, “Hey don’t look at me,” Alex said with a shrug, “I’m as lost as you are pony man.” Alex stopped, looking around, seeing that all the houses were in two neat rows. “Dear lord, you weren’t kidding about the equality thing.”
“I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit,” Kat said.
“That’s Starlight’s house there at the end,” Diamond pointed out, gesturing to the lone house standing at the end of the two rows, “We took everything worth having out of it so there’s really nothing to do besides tear it down.”
“I am very tempted to tear it down, molecule by molecule,” Kat nearly growled.
“I convinced them to just burn it,” Xemnas said, watching as various ponies moved up to the house to throw kindling into it. “Fire purges all you know.”
“But it’s not always as fun or satisfying.”
“Debatable.”
“It does depend on mood, and right now, I’m not in a very good mood.” Kat glared at the empty house. “No one messes with those six and gets away with it.”
“Wouldn’t that job be our new friend’s?” Xemnas asked, gesturing to Alex, “Seeing as how she is this world’s Displaced.”
“Something like this I wouldn’t trust to newbies.”
“I’m right here ya know!”
“Oh, I know. I’m making sure you know.” Kat looked up at Alex. “You’re still getting used to this and are mentally unstable. Why should I trust something like revenge to you?”
“Revenge is never a good idea,” Xemnas said, shaking his head. “It poisons the mind and corrupts the heart.”
“Something this simple is not true revenge. Just a bit of payback. Jeeze, you act as if I’m gonna kill her or something.”
“And I told you to let the ponies handle it,” Xemnas said, looking down at her. “I’d rather not alter events when I only got to see four episodes of season five.”
“I don’t take orders from you, Nobody. Simply because Jason let you go, doesn’t mean I will too.” Kat glared up at Xemnas. “There is nothing you can do to stop me. So, enjoy your ignorance.” She trotted on ahead of them. “You’ll be better off that way.”
“I am the very avatar of nothing,” Xemnas said, teleporting in front of her, glaring down at her.
“Good.” She just walked around him. “Then focus on nothing and leave me to my own devices.”
“I agree with, uh, Xemnas on this, you can’t just go around playing judge and jury on people,” Alex said, moving in front of Kat.
Kat teleported right past them. “Whatever you say~.”
“I think this has gone on for far too long,” Xemnas said, looking at Alex. “I think you should dismiss her.”
“What? How the hell do I do that?” Alex asked, looking at him like he was crazy, “I can’t exactly just make her leave.”
“You can, just tell her that your contract is complete,” Xemnas explained, crossing his arms. “That will send her back to wherever she was when you called her.”
“Okay...” Alex cleared his throat, looking at Kat, “Uh, Kat our contract is... complete?” he asked, not all that confident that it would work.
A portal opened in front of Kat, causing her to smirk. “Don’t fret, this probably won’t be the last time we see each other.”
“Should I uh... be afraid?” Alex asked, not liking the sound of that.
“If you don’t become evil then you shouldn’t be,” Kat smiled softly. “Don’t lose your way, Alex. It will be better off in the long run.” She walked through the portal with a “Ta ta~.”
“I’m so lost...” Alex said with a sigh, blinking as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up, seeing Xemnas looking down at him.
“I’ll be there to guide you,” the Nobody spoke, giving a bit of a smile.
“You’re sticking around?” Alex asked, raising his eyebrow.
“Of course, we nothings have to stick together.” Xemnas turned, looking at Starlight Glimmer’s house as one of the town’s unicorns set it ablaze. “Think of this... as a new beginning, for all of us.” Neither of them spoke, just watching as the flames consumed what was and made way for what would be.
As the blustering winds and freezing snow of the mountains blew on, Starlight Glimmer continued her trek through the many winding tunnels that had been bored through them. With her recent defeat still weighing on her mind, bringing nothing but her ire, she never noticed the arrival of another behind her.
Before it was too late.
“Hello sweetie~.”
Only the wolves of the mountains ever heard her screams.
“What happened? He had Smash and he died...I dunno what happened.” An annoying voice called out from the speakers of Alex’s laptop as he searched for information on pre-orders for various games in another window.
“Ugh. I don’t know how you can stand listening to that guy’s voice, even when it’s in videos that call him out for his stupidity it just hurts.” Nicole reached over and quickly poked the mute key to avoid hearing any more of it. “Have you at least thought about Karen’s proposal? It’d be sweet of you to help us out with the trio idea.”
Alex frowned, glancing up from his laptop. “It’s not an idea I like all that much. Can’t you get Ashley to do it? She actually has black hair.”
“That’s true, but her face is just all wrong for it and yours would only require a bit of contouring makeup. Karen still has her old ‘emo phase’ wig, so it’s not like you’d be dying your hair for it either. All we’re asking you to do is buy or make a hooded trench coat for the costume, and the two of us will take care of everything else to make it convincing.” Nicole thought for a few seconds, then giggled. “Besides, Ashley’s also a bit too busty to pull off the androgynous look we need.”
“God, I hate you sometimes.” Shifting his gaze to his mirror, he groaned. “You’re just not going to let this go, are you? I can just see it now; the two of you huddled around me, making me look as confusing as possible.”
“You think it’s going to be bad for you? Karen’s still trying to convince me to wear nothing at all under the barely-there white gown, and I have to keep reminding her that would most likely be illegal.”
“You know that won’t stop her from doing it.” Alex snorted, a smirk growing across her face. “Knowing her though, she’s been studying that picture of Kairi’s panties for proper recreations.”
“Well, I think you might like my idea a little better. It’s not like either you or me would be going for perfect accuracy in our costumes like she is. What if I told you I’d be wearing stockings that you’d never get to see me wear otherwise?”
“I’d say that it would mean less people would try to hit on me,” he replied, letting out a whistle. “Those guys will be drooling all over you.”
“The fact that you think guys would be trying to hit on you just because of a more feminine look to your face...whoa, scroll back up. Do you see what I see there or am I seeing things?”
“If you’re seeing a deal that’s too good to be true, then yeah, I’m seeing that.” Alex whistled as he opened the listing and the image became larger. “Holy crap. If that’s an actual picture of the coat, how is this making any profit?”
“I have no idea. That’s easily forty dollars in leather alone, nevermind the time and care that would go into crafting it...does that say it includes the game!?” Nicole leaned in closer, and then squealed as she saw the details of the special offer. “A hundred dollars for Kingdom Hearts Three, an Org. 13 jacket of your choice in size, AND special collectible packaging with delivery guaranteed within two weeks? Limited quantities available…”
“That has got to be a scam.” Alex leaned back, staring at the image. “Get idiots to pay for what amounts to a cardboard box and a bootleg fangame.”
“Or a pirated copy, most likely. Buy it. Even if the coat only looks half as good as that image it’ll be something we can use as a base for customizing. A good high-quality leather jacket can go for a hundred by itself easily anyways.”
“If I open that box and it’s some nylon piece of crap, you’re paying me back.” Tapping at his touchpad, he added it to his cart. “I’m not getting ripped off again.”
“Pffft. Tell you what, if that’s anything less than a perfect Organization XIII leather jacket when it gets here, I’ll not only pay you back and pay for any alterations needed to bring it up to par...I’ll do something extra special just for you after we get back from the convention. Deal?”
Alex nodded, clicking to confirm his order. “Deal. You had just better make sure that special something is really good.”
Nicole’s phone began chirping an alarm, and she swore as she quickly stood up and headed for the door. “Crap, work. I gotta go. As for that special thing, I can guarantee it’ll be something you’ll remember! Take a picture when it arrives so I can figure out what we need to do with it, okay?”
“You got it!” Alex called back, giving her a thumbs up. He sighed, sitting back on his bed. “I totally got scammed. There’s no way I didn’t.”
*Two weeks later*
“There ya go pal. One wooden crate with whatever you ordered inside. It’s kinda light for its size.” The UPS driver held out the container, easily the size of an old CRT TV.
“Huh, didn’t expect a crate... thanks.” Reaching out, Alex took the package into his arms. “You have a good day, man.” Walking backwards, he awkwardly closed his door with a foot. “Maybe this was legit after all?”
Light for its size or not, the outer container was still made of wood, and therefore still heavy enough that setting it down somewhere quickly was a good idea. A quick inspection revealed that a hammer was going to be needed to open the crate.
Grumbling to himself, he took a hammer to it, cursing his average strength. “Way too much work if this is bullsh... Whoa.” Clearing away the broken pieces of crate, a chest greeted his eyes. Red and gold, it was a perfect recreation of the chests from the original Kingdom Hearts.
An envelope was attached to the front of the chest, with the Kingdom Hearts 3 logo the only visible mark on the outside. Within that envelope was a letter that looked like a standard ‘thank you for ordering’ form letter from a big company, but lacked any Disney or Square-enix logos. “‘Your Kingdom Hearts adventure awaits within alongside your new jacket...’ Holy shit... this is real.”
Dropping the envelope onto the table, Alex giddily reached out to the chest. With trembling hands, he grasped the sides and opened the lid. Silver and black greeted his sight as the lid easily swung back on the hinges built into the chest, along with the smell of leather. The coat was easily lifted from inside the chest, and it looked like it would be just the right length for him.
“Nicky was right for once.” Unzipping the coat, he marvelled at the quality. “Must have cost a fortune to make this thing. Oooh, it even comes with gloves.” Without further thought, he slipped the article on, astounded at just how well it fit. “How are they making any money selling this for just a hundred bucks? It even has the chest, and the wooden crate couldn’t have been all that cheap either.”
The lights in his house flickered briefly, followed by a soft rumble of thunder as he zipped the coat up and moved over to take a look at himself in the mirror nearby. “And the game, gotta check the chest for the game too after I see this for myself.”
For a moment, his face wasn’t the one that welcomed him on the mirror. This face had black hair and blue eyes, and features very much unlike his own. A shout and a few blinks dispelled the illusion, his reflection returning to normal. "Just a trick of the light, or I need more sleep." Alex muttered in relief as he saw his own face in the mirror once more. “Okay. Check the chest for the game, then take a picture for Nicole.”
Swiping his tablet off the table, he strode over to the crate. “Makes you wonder just how they got the copy. Better not to think about it.” As he reached into the chest this time, his hands seemed to vanish as they passed where the coat had been resting, and he could feel a numbing cold through the gloves.
“The fuck!?” Wrenching his arms back, he was rewarded with impossible resistance. “Shit, shit, shit!” Digging his heels in, he pulled back harder to little success, other than just dragging the chest around as if his arms were attached to something inside of it. The numb, empty feeling began crawling up his arm to his elbow as the chest worked its way closer through all this, effectively swallowing his hands and arms a few inches at a time.
“It’s just a nightmare! I-It has to be!” Denying the reality in front of him, he whimpered as it began to pull his head in. “Nicole, you bitch! This is your fault! I’ll haunt you until the day you die!” The chest cut off any further ranting; his head followed his arms into the cold blackness within.
Alex continued to stagger around for a few minutes, completely blind until the only thing he could feel was the rush of wind against his blinded face. In the home he’d been forcibly taken from, the chest landed on its base and the lid defied gravity to close itself with a soft click.
Wind buffeted Alex like a freight train. A seeping cold worked its way into his bones, and he was keenly aware that he was in the middle of a blizzard... laying face first in the snow, as a matter of fact. Despite this, he couldn’t find the energy to move. The world faded to a buzzing haze, his imminent freezing to death floating from his thoughts.
Some time later, a number of voices were just barely heard over the wind in the area where Alex had landed. “- Diamond, is that…-ound your skis?”
“Yeah. Funny how neither them or my helmet were buried.”
“No, I mean there’s something else there. Look, something black in the snow.”
Padded hoofsteps approached and brushed some snow away while gently nudging the fabric. “You’re right! It kinda looks like that X guy. Maybe it’s a foal?”
“Out here, in this cold? Oh dear, we need to get it back to town quickly!”
“I think I can carry them back.” A head squeezed under Alex’s stomach and in a few quick movements, he was laying across Diamond’s back. “A little heavy, but nothing I can’t handle.”
“Do we still have a doctor in town or did the last one we had leave before Starlight arrived?”
“Back to town first, worry about qualified medical treatment later!” Steady hoofsteps turned into full on gallops. “Who knows how long this one’s been out in the cold! They could have hypothermia!”
A bit of warmth began to surround Alex as they moved. “M-maybe this reheating charm will help a little?”
“Careful Sugar Belle. Isn’t that meant to make your muffins warm again? We don’t want to cook the foal by accident.”
“I’ve used it on myself before on colder nights, it won’t hurt the poor thing.”
“Where should we bring it? Not many houses have much spare-”
“Starlight’s house has plenty of empty space now, and nopony will complain about putting a guest there anyways.”
“I’m sure the princess and her friends will know what to do when they wake up.” The galloping slowed down to a light trot, the crunching of snow falling away. “I’ll take the foal, you can get the princess.”
“You better hurry, that coat doesn’t look like it’s meant for weather this far north.”
Alex felt himself slipping back into blackness, only barely able to shiver as the wonderful warmth faded from directly around his body.
“Fuck... feel like I just had a bender...” Groaning, Alex winced as consciousness returned to his mind. Wherever he was, it was not out in a blizzard. It was warm and soft, most likely a bed if the pillow under his head meant anything.
“Oh dear, you can talk too? You look so young though.” The gentle voice came from the ‘pillow’ he was laying on, and part of the warmth around him moved to cover and comfort parts that remained colder. “Does fuck mean something different in your culture, or are your parents just irresponsible for teaching you that word so young?”
“I’m twenty five, I can speak how I please,” Alex responded, rubbing at his eyes. “Doesn’t change that I feel like crud. Ash get me drunk again or something?”
“Is that weeks, months, or years? I’ve never seen anything like you before, so I’m sorry if that’s impolite.” This other person cleared her throat softly while shifting her position again and laying her head on his shoulder. Her extremely fuzzy head.
“Holy shit!” Alex scrambled to get to his feet, only for his pants to jumble up around his ankles. Face planting, his panicked urge to flee was replaced with a dull acknowledgement of pain. “Ow...”
“Oh dear, did I frighten you? I’m so sorry. Here, climb back into the bed if you can move.” Four light clops sounded as the yellow mare moved off the low bed herself and quickly moved to help Alex up. “We have no idea how long you were out in the cold, but it didn’t look like there was any visible frostbite when we took off your jacket and other clothes for a quick examination. We only put your pants back on because my wings wouldn’t reach below your waist to help warm you up faster.”
“You took my clothes off!?” Alex demanded, indignation replacing fear. “The hell is wrong with you!?”
“We had to check for injuries. Finding a little filly like you out in the snowy mountains, alone, we assumed the worst and wanted to make sure that they weren’t hiding a deep cut or broken bones. Nothing seems to be moving anywhere it shouldn’t though, and you aren’t screaming in pain from moving…”
“Yeah well, I’m fine thank you very...” The words died in Alex’s throat as he processed her words, and the sound of his voice. “Aren’t fillies female horses?”
“Oh, we generally call all girls fillies if we’re unsure of species-specific terms. Unless your kind works like dolphins or some reptiles; that’s one thing we noticed as soon as we started examining you. Oh, have your parents not told you the difference yet?”
Alex ignored her, glancing down at himself. He had always been on the scrawny side, but that didn’t account for the body he now sported. With speed he didn’t know he had, he managed to pull his pants back up and turn his back to her.
“This is all just a bad dream. That’s all it is, a bad dream caused by whatever subpar Chinese paint that chest used. Ya, that’s it. Just a bad reaction to some chemicals.”
“Umm, there’s no need to cover yourself unless the fire’s not warm enough. We’re both girls here. My name’s Fluttershy, and if this is all just a bad dream of yours, I do wish you hadn’t thought of how bad it felt to have my cutie mark ripped off.” Fluttershy moved in close again, trying to nudge Alex back towards the bed.
Pulling back, he gave Fluttershy a hard shove. “Just keep away from me, Pink Aisle nightmare.” He covered his chest, desperately looking around for his shirt.
Fluttershy backed away at the shove, and let out a soft squeak as she ended up against the wall without noticing it. “I-I don’t understand. I’m just trying to make sure you stay warm and safe until your father has a chance to come see you.”
“The hell are you talking about?” Alex scoffed, spotting his shirt by a table. “This is my weird ass hallucination, no matter what dark depths it dredges up, that deadbeat wouldn’t show up for five bucks.”
“Oh...so you mean the older being that looks almost exactly like you isn’t your father? He didn’t seem like the kind to hurt without reason, so you should be okay anyways, I guess.”
Alex stood up shakily, gingerly making his way over to his shirt. “I’m going to put this back on and get in that bed and wait for this nightmare to end. That okay with you, yellow horse?”
“I already said my name is Fluttershy, but that seems like it shouldn’t be an issue. As long as you’re safe until an adult takes responsibility for you. Did you still want to lay on me? I was mostly doing it to warm you up, but it felt... nice.”
It took a moment for Alex to remove his arm from his chest to grab his shirt. After an awkward juggling of hands, he managed to get it on without losing his pants again. Looking at Fluttershy, he let out a long sigh. “Just don’t... touch me anywhere...”
Fluttershy nodded quickly in response and gingerly moved over to climb into the bed again. “That’s fine. The only reason I didn’t ask permission before was, well, it was an emergency.”
Alex moved over to the bed, glancing down at her. “I mean, thanks for looking after me but... you wouldn’t understand...” Sitting on the bed, he waited for her to get comfy before laying his head back down.
“I’m a good listener if you want to talk about it.” Fluttershy extended her wing over Alex once again for a moment before remembering the request to not touch, and she quickly shifted its course to pinch at the blankets that had been shoved aside instead to offer them. “We could start with your name.”
“Alex. My names is Alex...” he grumbled, pulling the blankets over him. Glancing at her, he frowned. “Being a good listener and understanding are two different things.”
“That’s true, but talking about problems tends to help even when the pony you’re talking to doesn’t understand completely. It’s something you should keep in mind if things start getting hard for you.”
“They’re already hard,” he rebutted, glancing down at himself again. “I’m not supposed to look like this.”
Fluttershy began to tremble almost immediately after hearing those words. “Y-you’re not some kind of changeling, are you?”
“Uh, no, I’m human... probably...” Alex groaned, closing his eyes. “Look, you don’t have to be afraid of me.”
“O-okay, if you say so. Human, so that’s what your kind of animal is called, and your name is Alex, right? That’s a nice name.”
“Thanks, I guess uh, Fluttershy isn’t that bad either.” Cracking an eye open, he glanced over at her. “You ever wake up as someone else, Fluttershy?”
“Oh, um… does waking up thinking you’re supposed to be acting like a completely different pony count, because there was that one time where Twilight accidentally made me think I was supposed to be acting like our friend Pinkie Pie by switching five of our cutie marks around.” She shivered again. “That was a strange day.”
“I have no idea what you just said but...” Alex gestured to his body. “I’m supposed to be an adult... and male...”
“Oh...I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anything like that before. I don’t know if even Discord can change somepony from male to female…”
A knock at the door interrupted them. “It’s Heart Soother, can I come in? I’d let to check up on our patient.”
“That’s the doctor who helped make sure you weren’t injured.” Fluttershy slightly raised her voice, still sounding only a little louder than a whisper. “She...he’s awake, and he says his name is Alex.”
“Oh my, she’s old enough to talk?” Heart Soother pushed open the door, carrying a tray of examination tools on his back. “Perhaps she’d be willing to tell us where her family is?”
“Oh, umm, it’s ‘he’ doctor. Alex says he’s supposed to be a male and seemed almost scared when he looked down at his body a few minutes ago.”
“Bah! I may not be a vet, but I know the difference between male and female reproductive organs well enough, miss.”
Alex frowned, glaring at the doctor with contempt. “I don’t need a vet, and I know damn well what I should and shouldn’t be.”
“Doctor!” Fluttershy’s tone hardened considerably at this display of callousness. “If he says he’s supposed to be male then I believe him. For all we know his species is just that different that we can’t know for sure, and maybe this is just how they all look when they’re young.”
“Will the two of you stop talking about me like I’m a goddamn animal!?” Alex snapped, sitting up. “It’s this simple: I was an adult male before I blacked out and now I’m a female teenager. Some weird shit just happened to me and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk about me like I’m not here!”
“I’m sorry, Alex. It’s normal for doctors to talk to adults before they talk to children...wait, teenager? But you’re so small compared to the one who intervened…”
“See, she just confirmed that she is female. Thank you for that, child. Now, since you’re awake I’m going to have to ask you to remain calm while I give you a more thorough examination. Can you do that for me, hmmm?”
“You’re not touching me,” Alex responded, pulling the blankets closer to himself. “And if you’re an actual doctor, you know you need a patient's permission, which I’m not giving.”
“You’re a child, which means I only need the permission of a parent or appointed guardian. Your father is busy right now, but he gave permission for me to examine the child we found in the snow since you obviously aren’t related to one of the ponies here in town.”
“Alex told me that he’s pretty sure his father isn’t here, though, which leaves me as his guardian for the time being.” Fluttershy spoke a little louder this time, and wrapped a wing around Alex’s shoulder in a protective gesture. “And I’m not giving you permission to do anything he’s uncomfortable with. Don’t make me ask Twilight to send a letter to Bedside Manner.”
Heart opened his mouth to protest, only to huff. “I’ll be having a word with the princess about this. Children are incapable of making this types of decisions for themselves, Ms. Fluttershy.” Turning away, he made his way out of the room.
Fluttershy nodded, and then immediately pulled her wing away and tucked it carefully back against her side. “S-sorry. You said no touching and I…”
Alex shook his head, pulling her into a hug. “Thanks. I probably would have hit him if he kept going. Jesus, that wouldn’t have gotten me anywhere. Especially like this...”
That unexpected hug caused a disturbingly cute squeak from Fluttershy before she eventually returned the gesture with a gentle squeeze from her wings. “He probably wouldn’t have taken it well, no, but I don’t think it would have hurt you at all.”
“I just... I’m not even ‘me’ anymore.” Pulling away, he glanced towards the corner of the room. “Could you bring me that mirror?”
Fluttershy nodded and hopped down to trot over and grab the mirror with her teeth. It was quickly brought back and gently placed on the blanket for Alex to pick up. “Are you hoping that your face will look right? You don’t have any cuts or scars...it’s not hurting, is it?”
Alex gingerly lifted up the mirror, hesitating for a moment before looking at his reflection. Staring back at him was not the man he had been. The face in the mirror was a fictional character; the person he had become. Seized by his own anguish, he tossed the mirror across the room with a shrill cry.
Fluttershy immediately ducked and cowered at this sudden display of apparent anger. Her wings twitched a few times as she stayed curled up on the floor, waiting for whatever came next. She was rewarded with the sounds of sobbing. Peeking at the bed, she discovered that Alex had curled up on the bed; crying his eyes out.
“Oh, oh dear. Please stop crying…” She pranced in place for a moment before climbing back up into the bed once more and doing her best to hug and comfort Alex. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand why you’re so upset, but I’m here, and you’re safe. I promise you’re safe.”
“I’m not me anymore...” Alex sobbed out, hugging her like a stuffed animal. “I’m not me...”
“Yes, yes you are.” Fluttershy did her best to hug back, but one wing was pinned by Alex’s arms. “You’re safe with me and you’re Alex still, no matter what you look like, okay?” She sighed as Alex merely continued to sob. “It’s alright, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Alex? I brought you some food. A plate of bread, cheese and hot fish. I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so I got a bit of everything.” Pushing the bedroom door open, Fluttershy trotted inside, a food tray laying across her back and wings. “I know you must be pretty hungry.”`
“Fish? But you’re horses...why would you even have fish available to eat?” Alex mumbled as he sat up on the edge of the bed. His stomach grumbled at the smell, and he couldn’t help chuckling for a moment. “Not that I’m going to complain about it.”
“While ponies are mostly herbivores, it’s still good to have some protein in our diets. Especially pegasi like me.” Adjusting her wings, she slid the tray into Alex’s lap. “I don’t think you’d like hay very much, so I talked to the villagers about cooking up some non-hay dishes. I also have a couple friends who want to meet you so we can all talk about things, but that can wait until you’ve eaten.”
“Friends of yours? Are they better than that asshole of a doctor?” Alex carefully poked at the bread and fish to make sure they weren’t too hot before breaking a bit off of the cheese to give it a taste.
“Oh, of course they are. Rarity might say a couple slightly insensitive things at times, but she always means well and she’s the best pony I know when it comes to making clothes, so you’re going to have to get used to her eventually.”
Alex nodded, taking a bite of his bread. “Good, cause I can’t go around with this stuff anymore. Maybe the shirt but not the pants.”
“We can keep them anyways, and maybe you’ll grow into them again.” Fluttershy smiled as she watched from over by the door again, giving Alex some space for the time being. “The other friend is Twilight. She’ll have some more pointed questions about things, and I’ll need you to answer them honestly, because she’s going to help make it so that I can keep taking care of you as long as you need it, okay?”
“Right, because I’m just a kid to her.” Taking a bite of the fish, he hummed. “This is some good fish, you cook it?”
“Oh, no, not this time. I can cook at home but I didn’t want to make a mess of anypony’s home here if I dropped something in their kitchen. I’ve also explained to Twilight about your situation, but it’s a matter of more than just your appearance. You’re new to this body, you said, so we want to make sure that you’re familiar enough with it before any of us would be okay with leaving you alone for long.”
Sighing, he gave a nod. “Right, I suppose that makes sense. Not that much of a difference, not like I got wings or a horn or anything like that.”
“But it is different. You said yourself that you only think that you’re a ‘human’ so there’s a chance things could end up different than you expect them to. Twilight will be able to help with other things too, like trying to find out if we can help with the issues you have with your appearance.”
“You guys always this generous to weirdos you find out in the snow?” Alex joked, shoving some more bread into his mouth. “Must cost a lot of money.”
“Well, it’s not like it happens every day, and I make enough money to live comfortably with all my animal friends on the edge of Ponyville. This isn’t a matter of being generous either, since you need somepony’s help to keep that doctor away.”
Finishing his meal, Alex set the tray to the side. “If I can just get a new pair of pants, I’ll be set for a while. Think your friend can hook me up?”
“Well, I’m sure she can, but you’re going to need to be firm with her about your tastes. Normally I wouldn’t warn anypony about her like this, but she tends to make things very...pretty. She’s not unreasonable, but she’s going to want to make you look good more often than not and, well…” Fluttershy fidgeted for a moment. “Just, be ready for her to come up with girly things for you to wear for a while. She’ll come around eventually.”
“You got denim here? I could go for a pair of jeans.” Looking down, he frowned. “And now I’m picturing myself in mom jeans... great...” He blanched. “And now I’m picturing myself as a mom... that’s just weird.”
“Only for you, because you’re supposed to be male.” Fluttershy smiled as she approached Alex to take the tray back. “It’s supposed to be a lovely thing, but I’m not sure if I’ll get the chance to have foals of my own. You’d have to ask Rarity about the different kinds of fabric for a better answer. I know enough to be able to distinguish things, but not all the names.”
“Really? You just scream ‘mom’ to me,” Alex replied, handing off the tray. “Okay. I’ve been fed and watered, I think I can talk to your friends now.”
“Alright, I’ll let them know. You just relax, okay?” Balancing the tray once more, Fluttershy trotted to the door. “I shouldn’t be very long, so don’t get into any trouble, okay?”
“Trust me, I ain’t going anywhere,” Alex assured, giving her a thumbs up. “‘Sides, I could probably use a bit of alone time. Need to organize my thoughts.” He watched Fluttershy leave before leaning back in bed. “Jeez, my life is so fucked.”
Alone with his thoughts, Alex took the time to really sort them out. He had become Xion, lost at least twelve years of age, and joined the fairer sex. Of course, part of him revolted, raged against his stolen form. Another part though...that other part was quite curious about all of it, and he groaned as he recalled the odd, twisting feeling in his stomach when he’d heard Fluttershy first refer to him as a ‘filly.’
“Just something to... I dunno, get used to, I guess?” Hugging his legs, he gazed out the window. Ponies of all colors trotted amongst the buildings, their hoofprints dotting the snow. “I’ll have to get used to that too.”
Holding a hand up, he flexed and wriggled his fingers, marvelving at its differences to his old one. “At least Nicole won’t bitch at me to cut my nails anymore,” he joked in an attempt to lighten his mood. “It’s something.”
A knock on the door announced the return of Fluttershy, followed by a soft click as the door opened just a crack. “Alex, my friends are here. You’re not in the bathroom or anything, are you?”
“Nah, I’m just here on the bed,” Alex spoke, looking at the door. “You guys can come in, I’m covered and all.”
“Oh that’s simply wonderful!” A different voice called out as the door opened wider and a white unicorn with ridiculously-curled hair pranced in to look him over. “Oh my, somepony that actually wears clothes as a normal, everyday thing. This is going to do wonders for inspiration.”
“Rarity, please don’t scare him. We’re still new and strange to him.” Fluttershy walked in a bit slower than Rarity had, and was followed by a purple mare with both wings and a horn. “He thought this was a nightmare at first, and I asked you to stay calm…”
The purple mare stared at Alex for a bit; her eyes looking up and down his frame as her head tilted to one side. “Huh. I never thought I’d see someone like you on this side of the mirror.”
“And I thought unicorns were toys sold to little girls.” Alex shifted, letting his legs hang off the side of the bed. “So... I’m Alexander Lionheart, I take it you’re Twilight?”
Twilight nodded as she approached and sat down near the bed. “That’s what my friends call me, and I’d be happy to consider you a friend since Fluttershy’s gotten attached to you.” Fluttershy squeaked and turned her head away at this, attempting to hide behind her hair, but Twilight ignored this and continued. “Alexander, welcome to Equestria. There are a few things I’m going to have to go over with you about laws that we have and how your apparent age factors in, but first I’d like to assure you that doctor Heart Soother is going to be given a few stern lectures shortly.”
Rarity was doing her best to study Alex and his clothing without ever touching him. Her magic occasionally pulled at the loose fabric of his sweatpants as she hummed in thought. “You know, I have a spell that could resize these for you. Something I came up with that helps when a pony gains weight between the initial measurement and delivery of her dress.”
Alex looked at his clothes, then at to Rarity. “Shirt’s fine but if I could stand without having to hold my pants up that would just be peachy.” He stood up, demonstrating said fact. “Seriously, this is the pits right now.”
Rarity nodded and smiled before her horn lit up with an almost-invisible shimmer. “Alright. I’m going to need you to hold still, because this might tickle.” That same glow quickly surrounded his sweatpants and boxers, and his entire lower body. “Oh...you’re...but Fluttershy keeps calling you ‘he?’”
“It’s a thing, okay?” Alex asked, his mood souring slightly. “Could you please just do the thing and not worry about what’s below my waist, alright?”
“I-well, I’m sorry, it just caught me by surprise is all.” Rarity stammered for a second before closing her eyes and concentrating on resizing the odd garment. “Is it supposed to be loose or tight when it fits properly? It’s all bunched up right now so I can’t tell.”
Alex groaned, shifting on his feet. “It’s... supposed to fit tightly...” he admitted, his face tinting red. “I’m going to need new underwear too.”
“Underwear? Oh, this thin inner fabric isn’t a layer that tore away?” Rarity actually seemed confused about this until Twilight spoke up.
“Something we don’t use outside of the more... risque businesses in bigger cities, Rarity, but something I’m familiar enough with from my trips through the mirror. I don’t think Alex would appreciate the lacy, frilly kind, and it wouldn’t fit him properly due to the differences in body structure. If I can figure out how to make it open I can bring him through so we can get him properly fitted, for everything, so that you can have some examples to work from.” Her tone indicated that she knew a bit more than she was saying.
“Ah, yes, well…” Rarity cleared her throat as she concentrated on her spell. “Let’s just ignore the cultural differences then, and work with what you feel you need, Alex.” The pants and boxers both began to shrink and contract as the spell worked to tailor-fit both to Alex’s new frame. “I do suppose you’d need more than this one pair if you wear clothes all the time, so I’ll just consider helping you to be a favor to Fluttershy.”
“Thanks.” Alex peered around his lower half, releasing his grip on his pants. “Now that am not afraid of accidental flashes, I think I can go out on the town.” He gave a thumbs up. “Good job.” The pants continued to tighten and became quite snug on his hips even after he let go, and there was the softest of touches as the spell carefully tucked and adjusted the boxers until they were no longer really recognizable as the original article. Alex frowned, moving his legs. “Well, that's a weird feeling.”
The tingling against Alex’s skin ended as soon as the spell considered the undergarment to be ‘finished’, but the sweatpants continued to shrink and contract, becoming tighter around his legs to the point that they looked more like yoga pants than sweatpants, but remained as soft as they had been before. “I t-think that does it. Two garments, custom-fitted, one fitting slightly tight. Sorry for any odd sensations, but it’s impossible to work magic that close to a body without some contact.” Rarity’s voice sounded weary as she backed away and sat down quickly. “Oh my, I’ve never used it to adjust sizes quite so much before. Let’s not do that again.”
“No biggie, thanks.” Moving over to the night stand, Alex grabbed a pitcher and poured Rarity a drink. “Here, have some water. You earned it.” He blinked as Rarity took it into her magic and floated it over. “That’s gonna take a while to get used to.”
Twilight cleared her throat, levitating a scroll and quill out from under her wing. “Alright, now that Alex’s clothing situation is taken care of, let’s get down to those questions you have and the laws that have to be obeyed, is that alright with you, Alex?”
“Sure, yeah. Whatever will help us get things moving so I’m not cooped up in here forever.”
“Alright, so, the first thing is the most unfortunate one for you. Equestrian law states that one who is not a pony is not an adult until either their thirtieth birthday or their body stops growing. It’s simpler for ponies, but there’s reasons for this stipulation. Dragons, for example, are still relatively immature even at thirty, but by that point they should have learned enough to be independent if they are to integrate with society rather than be lone drakes. The dragonlands operate a little differently, but dragons aren’t exactly the most nurturing type.” Twilight closes her eyes for a moment and looks down at the floor. “In your case, I’m willing to offer you a few basic proficiency tests so we can see where your education level is, but you’ll likely have to attend some form of school for a year or two for our history at the very least. Any questions so far?”
“I just wanna point out that for better or worse humans are considered adults at 18.” Alex poured himself a glass of water, gazing at his tiny reflection. “If I’m not considered an adult, I take it to mean I’m going to need a guardian?”
“That’s me. I-I mean, if you’re okay with it? We want to keep you close to Twilight so that you can take quick trips through the mirror if it’s needed just because she’s familiar with that kind of body. You don’t look suited to farm work, so Applejack’s not likely a good fit, and Rainbow Dash is, well, she’s...she’s a good friend, but she’d see you as slowing her down.”
“Right, and I already have Spike to take care of, Rarity has her businesses, and Pinkie’s too... Pinkie.”
Alex smiled, placing his hand on Fluttershy’s head. “I’m fine with that. Never thought I’d have a pegasus for a mom, but then, most of my imagination was tainted by anime.” Moving his hand, he scratched her ears. “Not a fan of going back to school though.”
“That all depends on how well you test and how well you learn in an unsupervised environment. The only reason Spike isn’t in school is because he was being taught by Princess Celestia alongside me on many subjects. His vocabulary isn’t the best, but I’ve been working with him on that.”
“And what’s this ‘mirror’, thing?” Alex questioned, sipping at his drink. “It’s not like, a portal back to my world, is it?” It was a confusing thought; none of them but Twilight knew what a human. Were they screwing with him? They seemed too nice for something like that.
“Only if your world has people with names like ours, and skin tones as varied as our coats. It’s a connected parallel dimension where ponies like us look like beings like you. I never got around to asking the girls there what their species was called, but that’s a minor quibble.”
“Human,” Alex provided, putting a hand on his chest. Frowning, he moved it before speaking. “Scientific name being Homo Sapien.”
“Right. That’s what your species is called. I’m talking about the versions of my friends on the other side of the mirror.”
“Ohhh, I think I’m going crosseyed at this, Twilight.” Rarity complained. “Couldn’t you have just told the poor girl ‘no’ and spared the science?”
“Boy, Rarity.” Fluttershy’s voice was gentle, but the rebuke was almost immediate.
“Err, right, boy. Sorry Alex.”
“It’s fine.” Alex sighed, putting his glass down. “The one question I’ve wanted to ask is: what other human is here? Because I can tell you, he’s not related to me.”
“I’m sure he’s related to you somehow, dear. If not by blood then there must be some other kind of connection. Your jacket and his are nearly identical.” Rarity couldn’t help herself. “Slightly drab, but I assume there’s some kind of function aside from fashion that they serve.”
Alex chuckled, rubbing his neck. “And here’s the part where I tell you guys I was turned into a fictional character. I don’t suppose you three know what a video game is, right?”
“A form of entertainment that is only just starting to become popular here in Equestria, with one colt home in Ponyville being quite skilled at a couple ‘arcade cabinets.’” Twilight cleared her throat softly. “I think books are better, but I can see their charm, I guess.”
“Okay then! I got turned into a video game character by the name of Xion,” Alex explained, grabbing his coat. “These coats are used by a group called Organization XIII to protect themselves when they moved through portals of darkness.”
“Ohhh, that sounds about right…”
“He did step right out of a shadow to intercept Starlight’s spell....”
“Girls, focus.” Twilight snapped, then blushed. “Sorry, I just think that we should avoid trying to confuse Alex.” She took a steadying breath and shook her head. “So, portals of darkness? The one we thought was your father stepped out of a shadowy portal to block a lethal spell that a twisted unicorn cast at us. I believe he said his name was Xenas, but I was a little confused at the time.”
“Xemnas?!” Alex blurted out, dropping the coat. “He’s the damn villain! Oh great, just great. He’s gonna turn us all into nobodies and Nort us!”
“Alex?”
Throwing his hands up, Alex continued to ramble. “Oh right, Xion wasn’t even a Nobody, she was a copy of a Nobody. Less than nothing!”
“Alex…”
“Not only do I have to deal with being a teenage girl, but now I literally don’t exist. Great that’s just fucking great! Thanks a lot, Nicole!” Alex suddenly found himself tackled and pinned to the bed by a hugging yellow and pink blur.
“Alex! Calm down, please. You’re here, you’re very obviously real if I can hug you and you can feel it. You’re okay...please...please calm down?”
“He didn’t seem like a bad guy to me. I mean, sure he was a little cold when he rescued us, but that doesn’t make a person bad.” Twilight had shied away at Alex’s outburst, and was standing with one hoof raised in front of her.
“Allow me to dissuade your feelings of worthlessness,” a deep male voice spoke. A pillar of shadow filled the corner, depositing a tall, tan skinned man. Piercing amber eyes locked onto Alex, taking him in. “You are not a Nobody; nor are you a puppet. You are not really Xion, you just look like her.”
A light flashed in Alex’s hands, something akin to a sword appearing in his grasp. Without even thinking, he lunged at the taller man, swinging his new weapon.
“Alex, no!” Fluttershy cried out as she spun into a hover above the bed; having been thrown free by how fast Alex managed to move.
Xemnas caught the blade, raising his arm so Alex dangled from it. “I will not harm you or the ponies. I’m going to set you down and you are going to dismiss your keyblade.”
Alex struggled for a few seconds, but couldn’t even manage to kick Xemnas, or pull the weapon free from his hold. “Ugh, you….fine! I’m not sure I know how to do that...I don’t even know how I summoned it, really, but I won’t attack you again unless you give me a reason.”
“I had almost forgotten just how temperamental a teenager can be.”
“...shut up and put me down...”
Once he was set down, Alex backed away from Xemnas and sat on the edge of his bed to look at the keyblade he’d managed to summon. It looked like a combination between a katana and a set of sunbursts, with a turquoise stone set into the area between the katana blade and the half-sunburst ‘key’ portion. “Okay, so, this is a thing I can do now.”
“You didn’t mention you had a weapon,” Twilight said pointedly. “I can’t let you keep that; it’d be breaking the law.”
“I didn’t even know I had it, not for sure anyways. I don’t really think you can take it away, though.”
“I can certainly try.” Taking the keyblade in her telekinetic grasp, Twilight pulled it from Alex’s hands. “I’m not sure what this is but-” she stopped as the weapon shimmered and teleported back to Alex. “Right.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought was going to happen.” Alex looked over to Xemnas and shrugged. “So, how exactly do I dismiss it? I’ve never done this before.”
“Just think of it vanishing, and it shall do so,” Xemnas instructed, gesturing with a hand. “It will come to you.”
Glaring at the blade, he concentrated on making it disappear. A beat passed before it dematerialized, leaving his hands empty. “Oh hey, it worked. Go me.” Looking up, he glanced between everyone. “So... now what?”
Twilight looked from Alex to Xemnas. “Alright, I’m going to have to at least make a note about the ability to summon a magic weapon that cannot be forcibly removed in the official paperwork regarding your species, even if not all of you have that ability. If the wrong person uses it, that’s no different than a rogue unicorn going around stealing cutie marks.”
“Keyblades are not limited by race,” Xemnas corrected. “We will discuss them later. There is something I need to look into.” Another pillar of darkness appeared, it’s depths pulsing randomly. “I will leave Alex in your care.”
“Oh, um, okay then. It was nice seeing you again, and thanks for saving us.” Twilight awkwardly turned to look away from the corner of the room and rubbed her eyes. “Something about those portals, they don’t feel right, but he did a good thing… anyways, where were we before someone other than me had a nervous breakdown for once? Heh.”
“I got turned into a video game character,” Alex reminded, retrieving his coat from the floor and slipping it on. “And thankfully, I only look like her. There any other laws I should know about, Purple Smart?”
“Well, we inadvertently brought up the subject of weapons there. It is illegal for minors to use a weapon that is capable of actually injuring, but I’m sure we can get a special case exception for you with that, what did he call it, keyblade? Injury in the case of weapons means something that would require urgent medical attention, so bruising and other minor injuries don’t count. For the time being, please try to only summon it if you have no other option.”
“Trust me, I wasn’t planning on it.” Alex nodded, zipping up his coat.
“Good. When we get to Ponyville, I’ll need to speak to the mayor. You and Fluttershy will have to work with Foal Protective Services.” Fluffing her wings, Twilight regarded both in question. “They might push for formal adoption over simply guardianship.”
“If that’s what it takes to keep Alex safe and taken proper care of, then I’ll do it. I wouldn’t want him to end up with somepony who wouldn’t be able to keep him clothed.” Fluttershy smiled and leaned against Alex’s side.
“Fluttershy, they might have a problem with your...common guest.”
“Only if they want to be pranked into oblivion by him. He’s not over often enough to be a problem for Alex, I’m sure.”
“What, you got a junkie roommate or something?” Alex questioned, searching the room for his gloves. “Had one of those once, sold my old Transformers for uh... you know what, nevermind.” Finally locating them under the bed, he slipped them on. “I’d appreciate it if you guys played the pronoun game a little less.”
“Oh, you’ll meet Discord soon enough, Alex, and he’s just unpredictable.”
“Right. So...” Alex moved over to the door. “If there's no other laws, we can talk and walk. I need to get out of this room. Oh!” He turned, a smile on his face. “Do any of you know who pulled me out of the snow? I’d like to say thank you to them in person.”
“Well, there are a few other laws, but we can talk about those on the train since you’ve agreed to come with us. We’ll run into Double Diamond and the others on the way through town and we can ask him where the others are if we don’t see them.”
“Oh, we’re leaving today?” Opening the door, Alex came to a stop. Turning the group, he pointed at his feet. “What’d ya do with my shoes?”
“Oh, I’m pretty sure Sugar Belle took those to dry because the insides were staying wet and cold from the snow that melted. Are your paws-”
“Feet, Fluttershy.”
“Are your feet too sensitive to walk without them for a little while?”
“No, it’s just, they don’t have a whole lot of protection. It’s all soft tissue, I don’t have hard hooves like the three of you.”
“Oh, no, no no, I simply will not do another resizing so soon. I still have a headache from fixing your pants. Making you more is going to have to be my top priority once we get home.”
“Oh, so they’re all soft like the frog of our hooves, and you don’t even have any real padding on them like you would if they were paws. No wonder you wear something protective over them.” Fluttershy nodded as she realized that this all made perfect sense.
“I wasn’t asking you to fix my shoes, I just wanted to know where they are. I can make do with tightening the laces for now.” Leaving the room, Alex made his way downstairs. “Humans have a lot of strange things going on with them. Like a superfluous set of teeth that don’t grow into our mouths correctly, or an organ that doesn’t really do anything.”
“Oh my, that’s fascinating.” Fluttershy reared up slightly and clapped her front hooves together a few times before setting back down. “You’ll have to tell me as much as you can at some point so we can get it all written down in case any more of you show up.”
“You know, I just realized that if I get appendicitis I’m probably screwed. You’d have no idea how to fix it and I’d die of septic shock or something.” Putting his hands behind his head, Alex stopped on the landing. “God, I get morbid sometimes.”
“I wouldn’t worry too much. Medical magic is pretty advanced. Rainbow Dash broke a wing and was flying again in less than a week. I’m sure a simple septic infection wouldn’t be too problematic.”
“Nah, you have to remove the whole organ when it goes bad,” Alex said, glancing around for his shoes. “Nature blessed us with an organ that does nothing and can kill us if it goes bad. Thus is the human condition.”
“Oh dear. I’m going to have to insist we get a full-body medical scan of you when we get home so the doctors in Ponyville can figure out if the spells they have can be applied to you then. The last thing I want is for you to get sick and our doctors to be clueless.”
“I can do that.” Heading down to the first floor, he scoured the room for his shoes. “When you said Sugar Belle took them, did you mean to her place or are they here in whoevers house?” Snapping his fingers, he pointed at Twilight. “Socks. I need my socks too.”
A knock at the door interrupted any further conversation, but there was no wait between the knock and the door opening to allow a pink unicorn with curly purple hair and a cutie mark of a cupcake topped with a cherry inside. “Oh, I thought I heard voices. I just figured I’d stop by and drop these off now that they’re dry. I also asked Threadbare to make a few more of these things you had on since it looked like there weren’t enough to fill the empty space from your, um... well they aren’t hooves!” She held Alex’s shoes and a bunch of socks up in a sparkling field. I’m Sugar Belle, by the way. What’s your name, snow creature?”
“Alex. Thanks for drying my shoes out, Sugar Belle.” Taking the pile, he placed them on the table. “That takes care of my sock shortage. Only one pair at a time is worn though.” Dropping onto the couch, he grabbed a pair of socks and pulled them on. “Tends to get hot and uncomfy with any more.” Examining his shoes, he slipped his feet in. “Well that’s a hell of a difference. Wow, my feet are small.”
“And that’s why I had Threadbare make a bunch of these ‘socks,’ because those fell right off while we were carrying you here. I figured you just weren’t wearing enough layers or something.”
“That is quite the size difference, darling.” Rarity slipped her magic around one shoe for a moment before recoiling as if she’d almost stepped in something. “RUBBER! Oh how revolting! No no no, I must make you something suitable to wear as soon as we get home. This crime against fashion shall not stand!”
“Whatever you use, it has to last and protect my feet like your hooves do for you,” Alex pointed out, tying his shoelaces as tight as possible. “Lucky my shoes are rubber and not something like leather.”
“What’s wrong with leather? As long as the cow dies from natural causes and has said that she’s fine with it…” Fluttershy trailed off as Alex stared at her. “What? Griffons have used it for centuries and it’s a sturdy material.”
“Okay, I think I’m ready to get out of here now.” Rising up, Alex tested his shoes. Despite being as tight as possible, it was very clear they didn’t fit right. “Eh, just gonna have to do.” Holding a hand up, he made a checklist of his things. A thought occurred to him, prompting a question. “Hey, Sugar Belle, did you guys find a little rectangle with me?”
“What, like a diary? I didn’t see any books, but we didn’t really stick around to search since we were more concerned with getting you here.”
Shoulders sagging, Alex pat her head. “Don’t worry about it, Sugar. Probably got messed up in the snow anyway. Alright, I’m ready to go if you guys are.” Not waiting for a response, he grabbed the doorknob and stepped outside. Cold winter air greeted him, his sense trying to prod him back into the warm house.
One completely improvised musical number later, Alex was sitting on the train looking shaken as he stared out the window. “Okay, note to self: this world is slightly less crazy than Atlantica in the second game... but it sounds better and has less stupid in the plot.”
“It’s just the Song of Harmony,” Fluttershy soothed, wrapping a wing around his shoulders. “You’ll get used to it. You might even join in, if you wanted to at least.” She giggled. “I could even teach you how to sing!”
“Uhhh, maybe some other time. I really don’t know if I’d be comfortable singing with this voice for a while yet, like, not even along to some of my favorite songs.” Despite this, a small smile wormed across his face. “The upside is, I don’t have to hear my voice crack again.”
“So, this is where playing all those cute games with the cartoon characters got you.” The world seemed to get a little darker around Alex as that voice registered in his ears, a voice that he’d recognise anywhere despite not hearing it in years. “Trapped in a world surrounded by creatures too girly for Toys R Us to sell.”
“Better than where it got you!” Alex shot back, though his new voice did little to express the venom he spoke with. “A failed liver and a rap sheet a mile long! Go back to your shitty dive bar and leave me alone!”
He found himself back in the living room of his childhood home, complete in its mid-aughts splendor. One of the Kingdom Hearts games rambled away in front of him. Looking down, he found a PS2 controller in his hands.
“Look at yourself. That game’s gone and literally ripped your dick off. You should have played the games I bought for you, you ungrateful little shit.” There was a crack-popping sound followed by gulping as his father’s broad frame filled the doorway of his bedroom with a can of beer in one hand. “No overprotective mother here to save you now either.”
Alex stood up, still in the form of Xion, only even younger. He clearly looked the part of his father's insults, his eight year old frame clad in a sundress. “Y-you can't scare me! All you do is get drunk, all bark!”
“I gave you that black eye the last time you backtalked. Couldn’t even take a punch without crying like a little faggot.” The large man practically growled as he took a step into the room and held up a game case that was literally dripping with blood. “You’re gonna play this now, and you’re gonna like it, or I’m gonna bruise something other than your girly little face this time.”
Glancing at the case, Alex took a step back. With a tug, he yanked the controller out of the console and chucked it at his father. Turning on his heels, he made a beeline for the stairs; intent on getting to his room.
The dull clunk of plastic hitting metal and flesh was heard, followed by a roar of pain that couldn’t possibly come from a human throat. “You get back here you little fruit, or I’m going to make you regret being born!”
“Like I'd take your advice!” Alex took the stairs as fast as his short legs could carry him. Rounding the corner at the top he spotted his destination right down the hall. “I didn't ask to look like this!”
Heavy footsteps sounded quickly from behind him, closing the distance rapidly before a series of heavy impacts and another grunt of pain indicated a stumble either on the stairs or right at the bottom. “Oh but you did. Bought the thing that did this to you all because a pretty girl implied she’d show you some leg, like a little toy of hers. I raised you better than that, that you’re supposed to take charge if you want to get that tail you’re chasing.”
“Nicole's a friend, nimrod! You'd know if you had some!” Crossing the threshold into his room, he slammed the door. Taking a moment to lock it, Alex let out a shuddering breath. “Drunk asshole.” Looking in his mirror, he felt a mix of elation and horror. “It's not my fault!”
The footsteps in the hall outside his room seemed to grow even heavier as they drew closer, and were accompanied by sickening sounds that were both mechanical and wet at the same time somehow. “She wanted you, you little dumbass, and you were blind to the fact that she wanted to ride your dick and was finding a way to show herself off to you. How many times did she ask you how she looked in a bikini?”
Alex covered his ears, feeling hot tears streak down his face. “Just shut up! Hate you! The day they tell me you've finally drunken yourself to death will be the best day of my life! Just fuck off and leave me alone!”
The door to his bedroom jolted, and the very house seemed to shake around him as it cracked in the middle with a heavy crunch. “You’re going to play this game for men and like it, or you’re going to learn what it’ll feel like when you grow up and want to take it instead of giving it!” His father’s voice was still familiar, but had an odd edge to it as if coming from a speaker or megaphone instead of a mouth.
Huddling in the middle of his room, Alex squeezed his eyes shut. “Just leave me alone,” he quietly pleaded, choking back a sob. He squeaked, feeling a cold, vice like grip surround his throat. “Leave me alone...”
A large metal hand covered in blood broke through the door on the next punch, sending splinters flying across the room as it stretched out towards Alex. It was large enough for the thumb and first finger alone to wrap around his throat in a warm, wet grip while the other fingers painfully closed over his shoulder and pinned his left bicep to his side. “Alex...you’ve made your father very angry indeed.”
Alex whimpered weakly, desperately trying to pry the fingers off his windpipe. A deep, indescribable terror coursed through his veins, mind racing for a solution to its imminent demise.
“Begone shade!” A thunderous voice cracked, followed by a loud sizzling sound as a brilliant blueish-white emanated from the doorframe and around the arm that looked more like metal than flesh. A roar of rage was cut off quickly as the arm, and presumably the body behind it, began to dissolve from contact with the light.
Within seconds the door shattered as well, collapsing into a similar dust and exposing the rest of the arm and the clasping hand to the brilliant light. The pressure around his throat vanished, dropping Alex to the ground. He glimpsed for a moment a midnight blue alicorn before becoming aware of his surroundings. Fluttershy's guest room surrounded him, as did sweat soaked bed sheets.
Alex took a few deep, steadying breaths before a weight on his lap registered, as did the sound of sniffling and hushed sobs. Fluttershy was laying on top of him, and obviously either scared or worried if she’d come in in the middle of the night.
“Hey, I'm okay,” he assured, keeping his voice to a low whisper. “It was just a bad dream. That's all.” It hurt to see someone this worried on his behalf. Too much baggage for the sight to be even slightly welcome.
Fluttershy sniffled again as she raised her head slowly. “It must have been horrible. You screamed a few times, and I heard sobbing so I tried to wake you up...but you didn’t. I couldn’t wake you up and your bed’s soaked. I thought…”
Alex wrapped his arms around her, looking into her eyes. “My dreams suck and sometimes they can be pretty bad. I promise though, I'm fine.”
“A-alright then. Do you think you’ll be able to get back to sleep after we change out your sheets, or did you want to lay on the sofa instead?”
Debating a question, he bit his lip. Finally speaking, he asked “Can I use you for a teddy bear?” It made him feel silly, childish. But her presence was nothing but soothing and she seemed willing to offer comfort when he needed it.
“Oh, um, I don’t see why not, but that doesn’t answer the question I asked. I don’t want you having any health problems before we get you examined, and sleeping in a bed with sheets this wet isn’t something you should do as far as I know. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about…”
Alex raised his eyebrow. “That’s sweet, Fluttershy. I got turned back into a teenager, not a toddler.” Releasing his hold on her, he slipped out of he bed. “Humans sweat a lot when stressed. Especially nightmares.”
“Oh, this is all sweat?” She hopped down from the bed and quickly slipped the sheets off anyways with a quick bite and a few tugs that demonstrated just how much practice she’d gotten with doing things like this. “It’s not uncommon for young girls to have some problems with control, Alex. I know I did, and your body’s newer to you than a toddler’s is.”
“It’s called Night Sweating, Fluttershy.” Alex stretched out, suppressing a yawn. “Happens when you get overly stressed, which in my case should be obvious. Nightmare didn’t help. You have a better nose than I do, it should be obvious what it is.” He looked away, muttering. “If it was that kind of thing, I’d need a shower and new underwear.”
“A better nose doesn’t mean much when I’m not used to the scents you put out yet. Cats, dogs, ponies, cows, all animals have different scents, and some are far more subtle than others.” She sighs and looks up with a smile. “I’m sorry if I insulted you by accident, though. The comment about girls, and I know you consider yourself a boy.” She picked the bundle of sheets up and hurried out of the room briefly before returning with a set of fresh sheets in under a minute.
“You didn’t insult me, I’m just wired. Nightmares do that.” Snapping his fingers, he pointed at her. “Dream horse. I saw a dream horse in the dream, uh, blue with wavy hair.”
Fluttershy paused for a second before she returned to putting the new sheets back on the bed with a combination of mouth and wing movements. “That would be Princess Luna. She probably had trouble intervening considering how long it took for you to wake up and calm down after your first scream. She’s a nice pony, and I’m sure you’ll like her if you meet before Nightmare Night.”
“What’s that, something like Pony Halloween?” Yawning again, Alex let himself flop onto the bed as soon as she finished putting on the new sheets. “Sounds like a fun time. Do anything good for it?”
“Oh, I don’t normally go out for it. I don’t deal well with frightening situations” She quickly hopped up on the bed herself and laid down next to Alex while putting her head down on his shoulder. “I wouldn’t mind if you went out though, as long as somepony else was willing to watch over you.”
“You’re starting to sound like my mom.” Alex pulled the covers over them, and wrapped his arm around her. “Always worrying about every little thing. It’ll be fine. This is fine. I’m fine...” he trailed off, not really believing his own words.
“Well, sometimes it’s a good thing to worry a little bit, and I’ll take being compared to your mother as a compliment.” Fluttershy responded quietly, even for her. “We both need to get some rest though. Tomorrow’s the big appointment with the doctor and the scanning specialist so they can get a good picture of what’s inside your body and how different it is from ponies, then there’s your first test with Twilight.”
Alex yawned, letting his head sink into the pillow. “Yeah, yeah. Places to meet, people to see. The usual. G’night.” Thankfully, either to Fluttershy’s presence or Luna’s intervention, Alex was blessed with peaceful sleep; full of mundane dreams too banal to remember.
Morning was a head scratching paradox of peaceful and hectic, with Fluttershy delegating some of her animal feeding duties to Alex. The moment that stood out the most was when Fluttershy’s bunny, Angel, punted a half-eaten carrot at the mare’s head. Alex grabbed at the little hellion, and picked him up by the back of his neck. “No! That’s not ok-”
He didn’t manage to get one more syllable out before Angel began to struggle, then outright scream in sudden distress. The other animals cringed or scattered and hid in various places at the noise, and Fluttershy raced over immediately. “Alex, no. Put him back down please.” Her ears were laying flat towards the back of her head, practically hiding in her mane. “He’s been getting better with his temper tantrums lately, really.”
Alex put the rabbit down, rubbing at his ears. “I just saw him punt a carrot at you. The animals here are freaking weird.” Looking down he, glared at Angel. “Stupid nightmare inducing rodent.”
“It was just a carrot. Just last month it was an entire salad bowl because I couldn’t get a cherry. Progress is progress.” Fluttershy made a few odd sounds, and this was followed by most of the animals that had scattered at Angel’s screams coming back out of hiding.
“Yeah and it shouldn’t be happening at all,” Alex insisted, crossing his arms.
“I know, but Angel’s had problems for as long as I’ve known him. I have no idea what happened that made him act like he does, but he is getting better.”
Alex snerked, grinning to himself. “Maybe he’s traumatized from when some Englishman tried to blow him up with the holy hand grenade of Antioch?”
“I’m guessing that’s something from your home world, right? I don’t think it was anything like that, but he simply won’t talk about what his previous owner did to him. It’s the one subject that makes him more timid than me.” She sighed and leaned down to nuzzle Angel between his ears. “Anyways, what did you want for breakfast? We have fresh eggs, some cheese-”
“I could go for an omelette,” Alex said,taking a seat on the couch. It didn’t take long for the animals to adjust themselves to his presence. “So, you take care of all of these guys? I hope you get paid for all of this work.”
“Oh, well, yes. Some of them are wild animals that just feel at ease around me, but others are problematic rescues that get sent to me when abusive owners are found out. Poor Harry has so many back problems from being kept in a cage that was too small for years.”
“Who’s Harry?” Alex questioned, putting his feet up on the table. “And why does he have a human name?”
“Oh, he’s probably still asleep outside. He’s a bear that was one of many animals rescued from a griffon circus, but I couldn’t take all of them in myself so the easier cases got sent to other ponies. I’m always happy when one of my rescues becomes somepony’s pet, but not all of them are able to leave.” After making sure that all of the smaller animals either had eaten or were eating, Fluttershy went back into the kitchen to make something for herself and Alex’s omelette.
“You keep a bear? How has it not eaten you yet?” The more time he spent in this world, the more in continued to baffle him. “You use weird magic on them or something?”
“Harry prefers salmon, walnuts, and wildberries, and he knows I’m the only pony who can really understand him when he’s having an episode with his back, so nopony else would know where it hurts.”
“Right, forgot you were a Disney princess.” Alex went still, letting a few animals latch onto him. “Friendly bunch, aren’t they?” Raising his hand, he gently pat an ocelot’s head. “Always wanted an ocelot.”
A series of rapid knocks sounded from the front door, a crazy staccato that ended with five oddly-spaced beats that sounded like the classic ‘shave and a haircut.’ “Oh dear, could you get the door, Alex, before she does something weird?”
“Ah, Pink Aisle. Right.” Reluctantly pulling away from the adorable ocelot, Alex rose to his feet. “I can do that.” Putting a little hurry into his walk, he made it to the door. Opening it up, he pointed at the pony on the other side. “Business hours aren’t until after breakfast.”
Pinkie just smiled up at Alex and giggled. “Hi Alex. I’m just here to invite you and Fluttershy to the special Castlewarming Pancake Breakfast that I’m planning for Twilight in a few days. I know you said you didn’t want a big welcome party yourself, but I’d feel really bad if I didn’t ask you to come too.” Even this early in the morning she was offensively perky and energetic.
“Hey, Shy! Pink one is inviting us to a pancake thing for Purple Smart!” Alex called back into the cottage. “Should I tell her yes?!”
“Oh, yes please! Pinkie’s pancakes are delicious. When is it?” Fluttershy called back, her voice barely carrying to the door, but still audible.
“Let her know it’s after washing day. She’ll know what I mean. I’m off to invite Applejack now, bye!” And with that Pinkie bounced away, hopping like Pepe Le Pew on crack.
Alex watched the sight for a moment before closing the door. “She said after washing day,” he informed, resuming his place on the couch. “That a holiday or something like that?”
“Oh, no, nothing like that. Twice a month I give all of my animals a good bathing unless they don’t want it. Once a month at a minimum so I can clean their fur and check their claws and such. Some of them still try to hide injuries or signs that they might be coming down with something even though they know I’ll help them.”
“Ah.” Alex nodded, finding himself playing pillow to a possum. “I can help with that. Hands are probably better for that kind of thing than hooves are.”
“Oh, that would be wonderful if you aren’t still busy with tests that Twilight wants you to take...oh, and She’ll be here that day too. She said she wanted to use it as an opportunity to...how did she put it again? Assess work volume for compensation adjustment, I think…” A series of gentle clattering sounds came from the kitchen as things were moved around, followed by hoofsteps approaching.
“See, that sounds important but I doubt it actually is.” Adjusting himself to avoid disturbing his guest, Alex sat up as Fluttershy placed his plate in front of him. “Damn girl, that smells good~”
“Oh, I’m glad it smells good to you. I wasn’t sure what you liked so I cut a little bit off every block I have and mixed them together, except for the ones that get bitter when they’re warm. I also gave you a cranberry muffin, but if you can’t eat that we’ll have to talk to Pinkie about finding a batter recipe for you that uses different ingredients.” She backed away for a second, then walked back into the kitchen to get her own breakfast brought out, which turned out to be a large and simple salad.
“Cranberries are good.” To punctuate his point, Alex grabbed the muffin and took a bite. “Mmmm... you should run a side business as a baker. Get a lot of customers.” Whatever other comments he thought of making were forgotten as Alex devoured his breakfast.
Fluttershy blinked, and then giggled. “Oh, no, I didn’t bake that muffin. Pinkie gave me a box of them a few days ago from Sugarcube Corner.”
“Oh, okay,” he responded, looking up from his plate. “Gotta tell her that then when we see her.” Stopping to take a drink, Alex licked his lips. “So... Doctor’s visit first, right?”
“Yes, of course, but you should probably bathe first.” Not an unreasonable suggestion by any means, but a quick glance at the table revealed that in the short time it’d taken him to polish off his entire meal Fluttershy had barely made a dent in her salad. “Plus the appointment isn’t for another hour or so.”
“Are you saying I smell?” Alex questioned, raising his eyebrow. He let Fluttershy sputter before giving her a smile. “I’m joking, relax. Give my clothes a quick wash while I’m getting clean?”
“Alright, as soon as I eat I’ll get them clean and dry.”
It turned out that having a pegasus tell you your clothes would be dry was no empty promise, as Alex was able to watch Fluttershy pull the moisture out of his clothes after washing them, and send the resulting miniature cloud out a window to rain on the flowers outside her cottage before handing them over to him while he stood there in a positively huge towel.
“Okay, that is amazing. Go Fluttershy.” He gave her a thumbs up, grinning. “You’d be rich back home, takes hours to dry clothing back where I’m from.”
“Oh, really? I didn’t think it was anything special.” She hid behind her mane for a few seconds before leaving the room. “I’ll just go collect all the paperwork Twilight gave me for this visit while you get dressed, then we can get on our way, alright?”
“Be out in a bit!” Grabbing his freshly washed clothes, he dipped back into the bathroom. A few minutes later, he came back out. “Alright. Let’s go and give those doctors something to poke at for a few hours.”
Fluttershy was still gathering up a stack of papers, and a few scrolls, under her wing when Alex came back out, but she managed it on her own and even opened the door for him “Alright, just follow me and try to ignore it if you see three silly mares run screaming in fear from you, okay?”
“Er... okay. Sandbag screaming people, got it.” Grabbing his coat, he slipped it and his gloves on. “What? I paid good money for this thing, I’m going to get its max worth out.” Walking past Fluttershy, Alex followed the path into town.
Fluttershy trotted along at his side, pointing out the various stores and other town fixtures on the way to the hospital, which was a rather large building for such a small town, almost looking like it was designed to hold the entire population. The only larger building they’d seen on the way there was Twilight’s crystal tree-castle-thing.
“Nice place, a little too... rustic for me but nice place still.” Alex took in the sights and sounds, waving at a few ponies. “Seems like a nice quiet town.”
“Oh it is, most of the time. We do get a few exciting things happening every so often what with the Everfree Forest being right at the edge of town. Sometimes it feels like they’re happening a little too often, but there’s not much we can really do about that.”
Checking in with the hospital reception was simple, but the wait was just as boring as it was with any normal doctor. Soon enough they were brought into a room with what looked like a large x-ray viewing wall lit up to one side and three ponies in lab coats. “Ah, Fluttershy and Alex, yes? Sorry to keep you waiting, but we had a bit of trouble clearing out the traces of the last spells used in this room. We want minimal interference to make sure this foal has everything identified as accurately as possible.”
“It’s fine,” Alex assured, removing his coat. “Hold onto this thing for me, will you?” he asked, holding it out to Fluttershy. “Anything I shouldn’t take over there with me, docs? Metal, plastic, stuff like that?”
Fluttershy took the coat with her mouth before quickly moving it to lay over her back. Meanwhile the only doctor that wasn’t a unicorn out of the three laughed softly. “No need to worry about anything like that. The spell is quite advanced enough to differentiate between things that are part of you and things that are not. Do you have any questions about the scan itself before we start, young l-”
One of the unicorns cleared his throat and indicated a section on one of the forms to the non-unicorn doctor. “Oh, right. Young man?”
“It gonna be weird?” Alex stopped at the wall, tapping it with a knuckle. “See, we don’t have magic back home, least I thought we didn’t, so all of this stuff is way out of my wheelhouse.”
“Only if you haven’t ever seen...hmmm.” The doctor trails off in thought. “Well, I know that in ponies it tends to not feel like anything, but I don’t know about the overall experience for something like yourself.”
“Did you want to see them take a scan of me first, Alex? It can be used as a fast way to get a checkup once your record is created.”
“I wouldn’t mind that,” Alex spoke, regarding Fluttershy with a smile. “Might want to do something with the coat though. I got no idea what kinda interrence that’ll have. Who knows what, uh, magic stuff it’s got on it.”
Fluttershy blinked at that and looked back at the coat lying over her back. “Why would this have any magic on it?”
“How about we just move that to the table we won’t be using?” the other unicorn suggested before trying to pick up the coat with his magic. The coat seemed to glow, the magic finding no hold on the fabric. This happened a few more times before the unicorn spoke up again. “Huh. That’s odd. I’m not able to lift the coat, but it’s causing the same amount of strain as if I had every time I try. I feel like I’m holding five of them up, but it isn’t budging.”
“See, told you it was weird,” Alex spoke, lifting it off Fluttershy’s back. “Lemme do it.” Walking over to the table, he laid it down. “There, done.”
“Ah, right. Thank you.” The doctor blushed, but scribbled down a note about the odd effect the garment had. “Alright miss Fluttershy. If you could spread your wings for us so we can get started?”
Fluttershy nodded and did so after making sure the other papers she’d brought were all collected together on the floor nearby. Almost immediately she was surrounded by a sparkling aurora that wavered between brown and red. Within a few seconds sheets of paper started appearing on the lit walls detailing all kinds of medical information about the timid pegasus.
“Huh, look at that.” Alex leaned in, examining one of the papers. “And this tells you everything you need to know, huh?”
“Oh yes.” The one doctor not involved in casting the spell came over and quickly skimmed over the various papers on the wall. A few sections with numbers began highlighting in green, and one in red. “Of course, as usual. Miss Fluttershy, you’ve been neglecting your wing strengthening exercises again. You need to perform some kind of heavy exertion regularly to prevent atrophy, or else you won’t even be able to fly soon.”
“That sounds dire,” Alex spoke, his eyes widening. “Wow, okay. I’ll make sure she does them, Doc. Promise.” He gave a thumbs up and crossed his heart.
Fluttershy just sighs. “What’s the number doctor?”
“Your wingpower barely measures above two-point-three. You know what happens if it goes below one.” He shook his head and looked up at Alex. “Most pegasi have a resting value of at least three.”
“And I’ve always been a weak flier, doctor. I don’t understand why that always gets flagged as a concern for me when that’s my average.”
“Because it’s low enough that an injury could cripple you whereas a pegasus with a higher resting wingpower would be able to recover without question.” This time the response was from one of the unicorns as they ceased the spellcasting and two final papers appeared on the wall. “Same as with a unicorn. If we don’t exercise our horns regularly they start to get weaker. Your problem could be solved by flying for at least an hour a day and doing a few wing-ups before bed. You likely wouldn’t personally see much of a benefit, but your scans would show it.”
“Oh. Thank you. Nopony ever bothered to actually explain it to me before.” Fluttershy carefully picked up the papers before walking over to sit by the table with Alex’s cloak. “I always thought they were just trying to correct something that I didn’t feel was really a problem...except for hurricane duty.”
“My turn I guess, huh?” Alex asked, eyeing the wall. “Alright, let’s see if my insides are still okay.” Stepping behind it, he braced himself for the feeling of magic. He shivered, feeling the tingle spread over his body. “Yup. as weird as I thought.”
“Oh, try to ignore it Alex, please? If you move too much it can make it take longer.” Fluttershy’s tone was comforting, as always.
“It’s going to take a bit longer than yours to begin with as we’re documenting a new species here.” Papers began to appear on a different wall this time, and collected into sets rather than individual sheets as the tingling intensified slightly in the areas where the scan was focusing. The entire process took a good ten minutes before individual sheets started to be displayed, giving focused data on certain basic statistics. “Let’s see here. Alex, you are feeling well and healthy today, correct? No headaches or other signs of a potential illness?”
“Yeah, I’m good,” Alex assured, nodding his head. “Anything weird on those papers? That is, if you can make heads or tails of them.”
“Nothing weird as far as I can tell just yet. Your temperature is a little different from the average for a pony, ever so slightly colder. We’ll have to make a note of that to include with any school admittance forms so that any attending nurse will know what is and isn’t the normal baseline for you.”
“Human body temp should always be 98.6 Fahrenheit or 37.0 Celsius,” Alex began, listing off any useful information. “Uh, we’re our own branch in the great ape family, with Chimpanzees and Bonobos as our closest relatives and we have dna from another, now extinct species of human in our genome.”
“Interesting...it seems that we have similar measurement systems in place. Fetlockheit and Celetias are disturbingly close to the words you used, and the numbers are an exact match. Your bone density seems similar to an earth pony, but muscle density closer to a pegasus, meaning you should be relatively durable, but agile. You’re almost exactly between those two, so if you worked hard you might even be able to match strength with an earth pony at the lower end of their range.”
The two unicorns ceased their synchronized spell and walked over to examine some of the other papers quietly.
“Let’s see. Oh dear. You’ll have to forgive me for this, but you do present an odd problem for us. With you stating that you’re male and wish to be treated as such...we will endeavor to address you so, but your hormone levels are very clearly that of a female.”
“Mammary glands are oddly placed, but yes, everything else reads as one hundred percent female. Ovaries, uterus, etcetera.”
“His cecum is positively tiny. I take it your kind doesn’t eat many raw vegetables that need to be broken down?”
“Nah, everything we eat is cooked, including vegetables,” Alex elaborated. “We call that thing the appendix and no one agrees on what it actually does. What I do know is that it can go bad and cause sepsis.”
“Well, I doubt that’ll be much of a problem unless we can’t get your coat off. It’s flagging as a cecum in your scan, so the cleansing spells we have should function normally on it. Far more concerning is that we’re still showing multiple growth plates and yet you claim to be a teenager.”
“Average height for a human male is about uh... 5’9 and the average for a female is I think 5’7. Plus there's the development of secondary sex traits...” Alex muttered, seeming to be lost in thought.
“Well, you’re already around twelve hooves tall. It seems there’s no real correlation in measurements there. I can’t even give you an estimate for your final height, other than maybe being a little shorter than Princess Celestia. That would be quite tall for a pony, but also a bit short compared to, say, a minotaur.”
One of the unicorns grunted as he read something and opened his mouth to speak a couple times, only to shake his head and walk over to show Fluttershy something on one of the pages instead. He whispered quietly to her and she nodded in response.
“Okay, I’ll watch for that, then.”
“Watch for what?” Alex frowned, looking over at them. “Don’t be sneaky about my health, people.”
“Oh, ummm,” Fluttershy looked from the doctors to Alex and blushed. “The doctor just noticed that there were signs that I should give you a talk that mothers usually have to give young fillies, and I’d be watching for the usual warnings.”
“I know how reproduction works, I used to be a med student,” Alex replied, giving an eye roll.
“Oh? Splendid! Then you understand why we’re so concerned about knowing what normal is for you. Accurate treatment leads to the best results after all.” The heretofore mostly-silent unicorn finally spoke up. “If there’s nothing else that you feel you need to tell us about your species, we’ll get to work writing up a basic profile for you to send copies to the other hospitals in Equestria just in case you travel. If we come across anything else that we can’t figure out without clarification from you, we’ll mail a form out.”
“I’m fine with that.” Alex smiled, giving a thumbs up. “But uh... do we have the same writing system?” he questioned, looking at the papers. “Just wanna be sure about that.” The lettering was recognizably English to Alex, though some of the letters had ornate flourishes to them that would have had some of his old teachers screaming.
“You’d have to tell me, young man. I can hardly tell you that. If necessary, Miss Fluttershy could read you the questions and write your responses for you.”
“Nah, looks like I can read it. Just a little too flowery for my tastes.” Moving back to his coat, Alex slipped it on. “That everything you guys need or?”
“I think we’re done here for the moment. All of this information will take time to read through, but it will be invaluable in treating you should you ever suffer some serious injury, or infection.”
“Alright, thanks for seeing us.” Zipping his coat on, he patted Fluttershy’s head. “Off to Twilight’s big, shiny eyesore or what?”
“Alex, be nice about it. Twilight lost her old house, and the town library, recently. That ‘eyesore’ was a gift from the Tree of Harmony to replace it and act as her royal estate.” Fluttershy blushed slightly, but smiled widely. “And all five of her closest friends have our own thrones in there too. It’s really exciting to think I’m that important to harmony, but also slightly intimidating.”
“Wow, look at you, all important and stuff.” Alex scratched her ears, leading her out of the room. “All I got out of this is a new body and a big dumb key-sword.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it, Alex. I’m sure something will come up that makes you feel important someday.” Fluttershy offered comfortingly as she led him back out of the hospital and towards the castle. This time she decided to fly there rather than walk, but she kept pace with Alex.
“You kidding me? The keyblade can do more things than you can ever imagine! If I can figure out how to make it turn into a glider I can go anywhere I want.” Looking down at his hand, he fought the urge to summon it. “It’s every kid’s dream, ya know?”
“Only if I’m with you, young man... though that would definitely give me an incentive to fly more often.” Fluttershy chided jokingly.
“What is this thing?” Ahuizotl gasped for breath as he slammed one more thick stone door shut behind him and quickly looked around this room for something he could use as a weapon, with the hand on his tail flicking out to bring down the heavy wooden beam to secure the door behind him. His eyes settled on an ancient ritual spear he’d stolen from a tomb in Saddle Arabia, and he didn’t hesitate to smash the glass case with a bare paw. After all, what were a few minor scratches when that blue thing had claws a longer than his forearms? Another glance around the room turned up a small ritual dagger, which he quickly grabbed with his tail before turning to face the door he’d just closed and put his back towards the open door to his inner sanctum.
Whatever had attacked had walked through his tribesponies like nothing. Their spears and weapons had done nothing to it. It simply swiped them aside, its unblinking red eyes staring straight at him. Gripping the spear tighter, he aimed it at the door, trying to ignore the trembles wracking his body.
The sound came again, that grinding noise that had preceded each door closed in front of this beast being clawed to pieces, the sound of rocks crumbling and grinding against each other. Ahuizotl backed another step away from the door as the center began to crack and crumble, with three silver claws soon punching through to dig and pull away at the material of the door and beam. “Go away, foul beast! My weapon is...is imbued with ancient powers you cannot understand!”
The creature stopped its assault, peering through the hole to stare at him. It stayed there, motionless, leaving only the sound of Ahui’s frantic breathing to break the silence.
“Well? Go on! Leave!” Ahuizotl tried to master his fear as this unstoppable beast actually hesitated for once. He shifted his feet and took up a fighting stance in an attempt to intimidate the silent destroyer. He also moved the dagger to the side so that it could be seen, trying to brandish it threateningly. “Leave or die! Ahuizotl commands you!”
“He didn’t stop for you.” A spike of pain shot through Ahui’s body, tearing through to his very core. “Just wanted you someplace more private.” Whatever impaled him was removed, all of Ahui’s emotions pouring out along with his blood. Anger. Fear. Indignation. Every feeling vanished from his mind as his body crumpled to the ground. His eyes rolled in a final attempt to catch a glimpse of what had just attacked him.
“W-who... why?” His breathing slowed along with his heart, staring up at what had attacked him. His body shimmered, starting to fade away. Only black glass met his gaze, staying there until his vision faded to nothing.
“Base four, I should have known it’d be base four,” Alex muttered as he ruminated on his recent failure of Twilight’s math tests. “I’m not learning base four, Fluttershy. I know damn well how to do math!”
“Alex, I know it must feel a little insulting, but you have to admit that there would be so much confusion if you forgot to convert from your math system back to ours.” Fluttershy was actually wearing a freakishly adorable little apron as she washed the various dishes of the day while Alex pored over the list of ‘remedial assignments’ Twilight had given him. “Maybe you can try to talk to her about it tomorrow when she comes over to help with the washing and that assessment she said she was doing for me?”
“Fine, fine.” Alex grunted, reading down the list. “I am not writing a five page essay on my chosen philosopher. I like George Carlin but not enough to do that.”
“Oh, was that the older man you showed me when you found your ‘phone,’ the one who was swearing almost nonstop?” Fluttershy’s ears actually perked up a little. “I know you’ve said that name at some point over the last few days.”
“Yup, my favorite comedian ever. Followed by Brian Regan.” Alex crossed that off the list, eyes moving down the paper. “So... do you guys not have gym class? I’m surprised I don’t see the ‘Princess fitness challenge’ on this thing.”
“Gym class? Well, I mean, I know what a gym is, but why would you need a class about them?”
“You know what? Forget I said anything.” Alex shook his head, not wanting to give society here any ideas. “So... how’s the stuff with the mayor going? Anything I have to sign yet?”
Her ears went flat almost immediately and her cheeks colored slightly as Fluttershy looked away quickly. “Well, um, about that...how would you feel about calling me ‘mom?’”
Alex blinked, gazing over at her. “Is that a requirement?”
“No. It’s more of a floating question to you, because they’re not willing to allow me to just be a guardian. I’m going to have to officially adopt you. I was going to wait until after the washing tomorrow so you’d have another day or so to just get used to being here.”
Putting his paper down, Alex rose up and made his way over to her. “You know, I wouldn’t mind that.” Kneeling down, he put an arm around her. “You already remind me of my mom. Hell, you’re already acting like you are my mom.”
Fluttershy stiffened up slightly at the unexpected touch, but she quickly leaned into the hug. “Alright, what else were the main problems that came up in all of the exams and tests Twilight had you take, or was math your one big stumbling block?” “Well, there are a few words and phrases I couldn’t make heads or tails of,” he admitted, patting her head. “Just that and math.”
“Let me guess, the phrases that refer to pony body parts and such? I’ve heard that those have given some other beings trouble with the language before if they didn’t grow up learning it.” Fluttershy’s wings bent in a way that looked like it should have been painful before the apron mostly fell off to hang from around her neck. “Tree Hugger told me that the minotaur language has a few similar oddities.”
Alex burst out laughing, nearly falling on his ass. “Oh god, someone named their kid Tree Hugger? Wow, I feel sorry for them. What terrible parents.” He stopped laughing, cowed by Fluttershy’s stern gaze.
“As if my name’s any better, Alex? Could you imagine how odd that would be if I’d turned out to be outgoing and overly friendly rather than quiet and reserved? Ponies shouldn’t be made fun of just for their names, especially since many times parents seem almost prescient in regards to naming ponies for the talents they develop.”
“Well uh... ‘tree hugger’ is a pejorative where I’m from,” Alex tried to defend, rubbing at his neck. “Hippy types who do nothing but smoke weed and spout platitudes about environmentalism.”
“Weed? Which weed?”
“Cannabis.”
“Really? I mean, I know it can be calming when you’re really nervous, or it can stimulate your appetite, but what’s wrong about relaxing a little?” Fluttershy seemed genuinely confused. “I mean, sure if you’re young you might not know how much is safe to eat, but that’s what parents are for.”
“Because it has a really different effect on humans. It was banned in my country, mostly because idiots think its a gateway drug to harder stuff,” Alex replied, standing up. “Has a psychoactive effect on humans.”
“Oh, we’ll have to make sure to get that noted in your medical profile then. I wouldn’t want you to have a bad reaction if a doctor thought it might help if you lose your appetite and I wasn’t around to get it corrected.”
“You say that like getting high is a bad thing.” Alex gave her a cheeky grin. ‘I’ve used it a few times. Helped when the nightmares got really bad.”
“Still, it’s something the doctors should know before they prescribe it to you…” Fluttershy went silent for a minute before nodding. “Then again, it also sounds like something to keep on-hand if it helps with your nightmares. That way Princess Luna won’t have to expend as much energy keeping you safe after a bad one.”
Alex sighed, holding a hand up. “Don’t. As much as I would like to, I’m a teenager again. My brain isn’t fully developed yet. Taking it is just gonna screw with my head.” Snapping his fingers, he pointed at her. “Right, so, teenagers have some stuff going on besides all the sex stuff.”
“Did I hear someone stealing my distinctive ability?” A new voice called from the living room, one that caused Fluttershy to squeak cutely before fumbling to get the apron off.
“Oh dear, you stay here and stay quiet, alright. Let me talk to him first.” She headed for the doorway between the kitchen and the living room without really waiting for an answer, the first time she’d ever really given him an order aside from the incident with the screaming rabbit the other day.
Deciding to heed her command, Alex resumed his seat at the table. Lifting up his sheet of assignments, he went over the list again; reaffirming the ones he wasn’t going to do.
“Hello Fluttershy! I do hope I’m not interrupting anything. I did hear another voice after all, but it just feels like so long since I’ve stopped by.” The voice was becoming extremely familiar to Alex the longer whoever was in the other room talked. The sound of fingers snapping and something else happening was immediately followed by a giggle from Fluttershy. “I brought some cucumber sandwiches.”
Alex’s face scrunched up, the voice rattling around his brain. “Is that... John De Lancie?”
“There’s that other voice again. I don’t want to be rude, Fluttershy. Am I interrupting another guest’s visit?”
“Oh, no. That’s just my son, Alex.”
Alex quite literally heard the melody of a Windows computer shutting down, followed by glass cracking. “Y-your son? Okay, umm...I must have miscalculated the time, or else my old spikey-haired friend owes me an apology for dropping me off in a different dimension. Is...is he ours?”
Fluttershy sputtered, her words a incomprehensible stream of gibberish. “N-no!” she declared, finally getting ahold of herself. “H-he’s adopted! A-and technically not that yet either, but...”
“Oh thank Celestia’s stunningly sizeable flanks! I can’t imagine how hard it would have been for you to raise something that was part ME by yourself.” A clattering sound was followed by the classic cartoonish clang of an anvil dropping. “That is certainly a load off of my mind, but could I still meet him, or is there some stipulation that I not ‘infect him with the madness of chaos.’” Those last words were spoken in a completely different, and female, voice.
“Discord, you know I don’t like it when you imitate the princesses.”
“Ah, right. Sorry.” A few more snaps were heard, followed by a few panicked squeaks as some of the smaller animals scattered. “So, how many birthdays did I miss, or has it really only been a few days like I thought?”
“Oh, he’s only been with me for a few days,” Fluttershy explained. “We found the poor dear out in the snow way up north.”
“Really now? And you decided to take the colt in yourself? That’s just a little bit unlike you. Maybe if he was a lost puppy or something I could see it but not something that can talk and be understood by others.”
“I didn’t have much of a choice, but I’m still glad I did it. He’s sweet in his own way, and I think the two of you would get along well.” She thought for a moment, humming softly. “Actually, you would probably understand more about him than I would, but you’d be better for him than Pinkie. He’s really averse to her for some reason.”
“Well, how about I meet him now?” Discord asked, his voice getting closer. “He’s in the kitchen right? I’ll just pop in and say hello!”
“He’s working on something for Twilight right now.”
“All the more reason to interrupt him, then. If nothing else, I’ll help keep him awake.”
Alex turned back to his paper, only to come face to face with a pair of yellow and red eyes. Yelping, he tumbled out of his seat, summoning his keyblade out of instinct. He pointed it forward, eyes wide in panic.
Those eyes blinked quickly, and soon rose off of the papers to sit in the air as a smile unzipped itself. “A human! I haven’t seen one of you in Equestria in ages! Let’s see if I still remember my manners from back then.” A body that was a hodgepodge of various animals thrown together at random slowly faded in as Discord spoke. “Ba weep grandma weep mini-gong?” His lion’s paw performed a few odd gestures and a wave before a snap of the talons on his eagle’s claw caused a miniature gong to appear and ring loudly.
Panting, Alex started at the claw. “Don’t... do that... asshole...” he muttered out, hold his arm up for another few seconds before letting it drop. “Scared me half to death...”
“Only half? Well, it looks like I’m getting better at judging the tolerance people have to shocking things. The last youngster I did that to had the get a pill from a zebra in a swamp just to start breathing.” Discord’s eyes drifted over Alex, and a frown formed on his features. “Fluttershy called you her son, but I know a female face...you’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t you?”
“Mock me again, and you’ll find out how much it hurts to get a giant key to the face,” Alex retorted, pushing himself to his feet. “Break your other buck tooth.”
“I think not. I’m already fully acquainted with the pain that oversized key can bring to bear, and you’re about half the size of the last person to threaten me with it.” He sighed and stood up fully while reversing the curve in his spine briefly. “Either way, I was making an observation and not mocking you. I might be able to reshape most of reality briefly on a whim, but every time I’ve tried to toy with someone else’s sex or gender to amuse myself it backfired on me, and that’s not nearly as fun. The one time I tried to do it as a favor nothing happened…”
Dismissing his keyblade, Alex stood up and brushed himself off. “That would be my luck, wouldn’t it.” He paused, eyeing Discord closely. “And who exactly had my keyblade before me, Q?”
“I haven’t gone by that designation in millenia, child, but kudos to you for knowing it.” Discord held out a granola bar drizzled with chocolate to Alex. “As for the previous wielder, it was old Sunbutt herself.”
“Discord…” Fluttershy’s voice came from the doorway.
“Fine, fine, Princess Celestia.”
Reaching out, Alex gingerly took the offered treats from him. “Right so... yeah... Fluttershy’s officially adopting me.” He eyed Discord before speaking again. “You make my head hurt, worse than the Pink menace.”
“Hmmm, well, I guess I’ll have to work on that a little if I’m going to be hanging around with dear Fluttershy...or getting more involved. You don’t have any food allergies do you? Nuts, berries, or orange rinds?”
“Uh... I used to be allergic to peanuts but that went away at some point,” Alex rambled off, taking a bit of his granola bar. “That’s about it.”
“Alright, so...I think we have an agreement. You don’t stick that key anywhere uncomfortable, and I’ll make sure to keep things quiet with your mother at night.”
“D-discord!”
“What? He’s obviously got a mind older than his body if he knows of old Q, and it’s not like I’m going to destroy his innocence…”
“That doesn’t mean you need to be so blatant about it, and he has nightmares so we might not always-”
“You guys are uh...?” Alex looked between them, his face scrunching up. “Welp, that’s an image I didn’t need to know. Rip me.”
Discord reached out and pulled on something at the side of Alex’s head. “I can take care of that if you want? No need to clutter your mind with thoughts like that right now when you’re going to have your own confusing issues soon enough.”
“Don’t be taking things from out of my head!” Alex slapped his paw away, frowning. “I don’t need you poking around in there and erasing my parents names or something.” He shoved the rest of his granola bar into his mouth, holding his angry face.
“Alright, alright, but my offer still stands if you ever decide to take me up on it.” Discord lets go while straightening up and looking down critically at Alex. “I think you and I will be able to come to an understanding soon enough. If nothing else I’ll be a hoot at parents day at school.”
“That’s still jumping the gun a little, Discord. Not that i’d mind, but let’s give it a bit more time first.”
Swallowing the last mouthful, Alex eyed him back. “Let’s just wait until I have a sense of home, ya?”
“Fair enough. Don’t be afraid to ask me for a few things you might need, as long as you don’t mind a funny twist or two.”
“So, that was a thing. That happened.” Alex stared after Twilight as the purple princess left him and Fluttershy at the fence. “Did she really have to nudge Angel into the mud three times?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her acting like that,” Fluttershy spoke, a deep frown on her face. “It was almost like she didn’t want to leave.”
“Has she ever acted crazy before at all, because that was pretty crazy.”
“Well... there was that time she brainwashed the town with that ‘want it, need it spell’...” Fluttershy mutters, fluffing her wings.
“So, that’d be an unqualified yes. Brainwashing an entire town seems pretty crazy to me. Was this anywhere near as bad as that time?”
“Ummm, not quite? Not yet? Back then she was all crazy about missing what she saw as an assignment and turning it in ‘tardy’ being one of the worst things she could possibly do.”
“Sounds like she needs to see someone about some kind of medication,” Alex commented, taking his seat once more. “Maybe a good talk with a psychologist. Might do her some good.”
“Well, we’ll be seeing the girls tomorrow morning at the pancake breakfast, and we can ask them if she’s been acting strange around them as well. Maybe she was just nervous about that whole compensation adjustment thing and...um, overcompensated?”
“If I had my way, you’d never, ever have to pay for anything ever again,” Discord said, petting Fluttershy’s mane as he faded in seemingly from thin air. “It’s bad enough you won’t let me conjure you up bits.” He snorted. “Destabilizing the economy my flank.”
“I make enough money to get by, Discord, and you got yelled at by Twilight about that too. Then she sent a letter to Princess Celestia and you had sunburn for a week that even you couldn’t wish away.”
Alex couldn’t help but let out a giggle. “You two really are like a married couple. Except one of you is an eldritch abomination.”
“I don’t have nearly enough tentacles to be eldritch. I’m an eccentric abomination, thank you very much, boy.” Discord responded instantly with a wicked grin. “And you’ll remember that well unless you want to go to school in a pink ‘Hello Cthulhu’ dress on your first day.”
“Discord, be nice to him. He didn’t mean anything rude by what he said.” Fluttershy fluffed her wings. “Oh um, since you’re here, Dissy, how about we all do some bonding? I’d like you two to get to know each other!”
“Well, I don’t see why not. What shall we do? I think I have a few board games around here in one of my pockets.” He reached into his fur and began to pull out boxes wrapped in clear plastic. “Khet...no. Mirrors and mouths don’t mix. Pac-Man the Board Game...no, marbles. Don’t Whiz on the Electric Fence? I thought I gave that to Tirek when he was reincarcerated.” Each one was tossed over his shoulder and into a pile of shards as the boxes shattered. “Oh, maybe some Uno?” He sat down only to leap up with a yelp and reach under his tail and pull out a differently-shaped box. “Or Jenga, that one’s fun too.”
Alex tilted his head before speaking up. “You got 1313 Dead End Drive in there,” he questioned, looking back up at Discord’s face. “It’s a little obscure but it’s bar none my favorite board game of all time.”
“That’s the one that requires a billion tiny rubber bands, right? We’ll have to be careful so none of the animals gets tangled up or starts choking on them.” Discord reached back in and searched around for a few seconds before coming back out with a mint-condition box of the requested game and a huge bag of rubber bands.
“You are the best mom’s boyfriend as of this moment.” Tossing his ‘homework’ off to the side, Alex almost snatched the box from him. Humming a tune to himself, he set about getting the board set up.
“Oh, so what is this game exactly? It’s not going to be long and boring, like Peagsopoly, is it? I hate weather management games.”
“Oh no, it’s much better than that,” Alex began, not looking up from his work. “So, the set up is that a bunch of characters go to the estate of their recently deceased aunt for their share of her will. Each player gets a random assortment of those characters. The objective is to kill the other players characters to increase your share of the will.”
“Oh my, that sounds a little violent. I mean...I guess we could all give it a try, but if it gets to be too much for me I think I’d just prefer to end up watching.”
“It’s fine, you just knock over some cardboard cutouts,” Alex assured, standing one up and knocking it down. “Come on, it’ll be fun!”
“Wait...you...there I go again worrying about nothing after someone said the wrong word. You said ‘kill’ and I thought it was going to be more involved than that.” Fluttershy then began doing her best to help Alex assemble everything according to the directions. In the end, they only ended up using a few rubber bands after all.
“Who said we were going to keep it exactly the same? I do have a plan to spice things up just a bit, but well within reason. It won’t even involve rotating your home in midair, or giving that little white demon indigestion.” It seemed even Discord didn’t get along well with Angel.
“Right.” Putting the last touches onto the board, Alex beckoned Discord and Fluttershy over. “It’s been a while since I played, so, don’t get mad if I have to bust out the instructions.”
“I’ve never played either, so why don’t we all go over them together so we’re all on the same page with it?”
“Right, right.” Alex nodded in agreement, scrounging around in the box for the instructions. “Aha! Here they are!” Laying them out, he went over them first before letting the others look through them.
“Oh, we’re supposed to keep which heirs we are a secret. Well, there goes one way of spicing things up. Hmmmm, and another way would not go over well with Fluttershy...or Alex most likely.” Discord spoke to himself while holding up a copy of the instructions that was printed in mirrored font...upside-down. “But the fact that there’s three of us and sixteen playable tokens means we all have one completely guilt-free kill, because we’ll each have five characters.”
“Sounds good to me,” Alex replied, shuffling the character deck. “Five apiece.” Passing out the cards, he set the extra one off to the side. “No hard feelings, alright? I don’t wanna make things awkward.”
Discord mimed grabbing the deck of cards that represented traps and effects, lifting it up a good foot off the board without making contact with it and carefully removing the ‘clock strikes midnight’ card before shuffling that set up. “No hard feelings at all, and I think I still have one way to give a little flair to this game.” Once he was satisfied that that stack was well and truly randomized he put the clock card at the bottom and placed it on the board.
“It’s not going to be anything creepy, is it? I mean, I could tolerate a tiny bit, but not much in a game that’s already a little morbid.”
“Nothing intentionally creepy, dear. I promise.”
Alex giggled a little, placing all the characters on the center of the board. “I guess all that’s left is to roll for turn order.” Grabbing the dice, he cast a glance at Discord. “No weird die though. I don’t want you rolling an infinite sided die or something.”
“There’s only three of us here, we could just flip a coin.”
Snapping, Alex nodded. “Coin flip it is. Uh... anyone got a coin?”
Discord snapped as well, and a single bit fell on the table in front of Alex...and landed on its edge without rolling. “One coin. Do we flip three times and call it in the air or do we flip it once and whoever gets it right goes first?”
“The second one.” Almost hesitant to move the coin, Alex grabbed it and held it up. “I’m calling heads.”
“Then I guess I’ll call...edge.” Fluttershy spoke up after a moment.
“And that leaves me with tails.” Discord’s voice grew serious, but his face was still playful and smiling as he literally tied his fingers in knots. “No cheating.”
The coin felt entirely normal in Alex’s hand, without any kind of extra weight one way or the other no matter how it was oriented as he tested its weight in his hand. Taking a breath, he tossed it up, watching as it landed on the table, heads up with Celestia’s smiling face.
“Yes!” Alex fist pumped. “I called it!”
So he did, and so they played, with nothing remotely untoward happening until the first death. The little cardboard cutout popped to life for a moment and reacted much like a Looney Tunes character would as the suit of armor fell on them, followed by a middle finger raised to the sky in a perfect blend of macabre humor.
Another bit of Discord’s flair was made manifest the first time a character escaped from the house, with the piece once again aminating itself before assuming the form of the player who held its card while it ran out of the house and collected the moneybag tokens from its place on the will before dropping them next to it’s player.
“Hey, I thought the point of the game was in not knowing who was playing who? This isn’t really the same if you know who has what cards and can do weird things with them, Discord.”
“I don’t know which cards you have. I weaved that effect into the game and the pawns so they can read the aura of the player who has the card. My magic signature is different from yours, and vastly different from Fluttershy, so all it does is seek out the card, then poke the magic field of the player. It would work exactly the same if I were to play this with Luna and...nevermind. You get my point.”
The game continued on, with a few more characters escaping and many dying in ways made hilarious by the improbable manners that Discord’s special magic made possible while adhering strictly to the basic ideas of the game.
In the end, Fluttershy managed to squeeze out more money than either Alex or Discord; despite having done her best to avoid eliminating any characters. “Oh my, I didn't think I'd win. Dissy, did you put the odds in my favor?”
“Oh please. If I were trying to influence things to butter you up I’d have edged things in favor of the boy. You’d be happy no matter who won as long as we all had fun and it wasn’t too scary, so I tried to do my best to make even the scary aspect funnier.”
“I think you won because you were trying to move every character away from traps and such on your turns. It made it impossible to tell which ones you had,” Alex offered, starting to clean up the board.
“That is true,” Fluttershy agreed. Glancing at the clock, she gasped. “Oh my, it’s time to start dinner. Dissy, could you help Alex with his assignment list? He mentioned having trouble with some of the language.”
“Eh, why not. Hmmmm. Alex, how’d you like to learn some curses so old that your teacher would never know the meaning?”
“Only teach him those if you plan on sleeping alone tonight, Discord.”
“You made sure not to put hay in Alex’s right?” Fluttershy inquired for what had to be the sixth time as Spike prepared the last batch of pancakes. “I don’t want him to get an upset stomach or worse from eating something he shouldn’t.”
Spike rolled his eyes with his head turned away, but he couldn’t help smiling a little. “It’s been kept out, Fluttershy. Just like I didn’t put any gem flakes in any of the pancakes for you instead of all the berries. Pinkie and Twilight came up with a great batter that allowed shedded hay to be added in-pan.”
“Thank you.” Fluttershy smiled, nuzzling his head. “I’ll have to make you something nice. Maybe a little gem muffin? I know Rarity wouldn’t mind sparing a few gems.”
“That does sound nice, but no rubies. For some reason they taste odd after baking.” Spike did his best not to pull away from Fluttershy’s nuzzling despite the fact that it made his scales itch slightly. “Give me another minute and his will be done, then I can start on mine if nobody wants another helping.”
“Alright, Spike.” Pulling away, Fluttershy took her seat at the table in the next room. “Spike says your food will be right out,” she told Alex, wrapping a wing around him. “And I made sure he didn’t put any hay in yours.”
“And you’ve done it every time you’ve heard the pan sizzle since he brought out the last plate for one of you ladies.” Alex stated flatly, with his face in his hands. “I mean, it’s great that you don’t want me to choke or throw up from something we know I can’t digest, but six times is excessive.”
“Sometimes Spike can be forgetful,” Fluttershy countered, nuzzling his cheek. “I just want you to have a nice breakfast with the rest of us.”
“Spike is just a baby dragon after all, Alex. It’s not uncommon for children to just forget to do something.” Rarity spoke up while examining her stack of pancakes after Pinkie’s recent statement. “Sweetie Belle has forgotten things so many times, and I shall not even speak of her cooking here.”
“He walks and talks just fine to me,” Alex countered, looking up at Rarity. “Unless he’s got invisible diapers or something magical like that?”
“Dragons aren’t even considered adults until after their first century-long nap, Alex, and Spike can’t be that old at all if he’s still that short.” Fluttershy responded with another squeeze as she heard the sizzle of the pancake being flipped over.
“That sounds like a crappy deal to be a dragon,” Alex said, patting her head. “Poor guy doesn’t even have wings. You sure he isn’t a wyrm or something like that?”
“Oh, no he’s definitely a dragon. Wyrms are much thinner as babies, and have longer legs.”
“Shouldn’t somepony wake Twilight up? Looks ta me like she’s about ta drown in her whipped cream.”
Alex whistled, reaching out to poke at Twilight’s nose. “Reminds me of the after exam party a friend of mine threw at med school. I don’t remember that night at all. I got the impression I slept with someone but I never figured out if that was true or not.”
“Wow, you’re serious?” Rainbow Dash laughed a little. “I guess there must be a few cool eggheads out there if one of them threw a party so hard you couldn’t remember having sex or not.”
“You won’t be doing anything like that for a very long time,” Fluttershy said firmly, pulling Alex closer to her. “And when you do, you’ll be drinking responsibly. Is that understood, young man?”
“I could be back in med school in a few years as long as I can catch up on your history and such quick enough, but I promise no drinking until I’m old enough.” He reached out and gave Twilight’s nose one last quick poke.
“Huh? I’m pancake!” Twilight bolted awake, lifting her head from her stack of pancakes only to have one fully impaled on her horn and thus rise into the air. She blinked drowsily, and lifted the obscuring breakfast treat from her eyes. “I mean, awake. Ehehe... rough night.”
“Really? I was awake as late as you were last night, Twilight, and I’m still full of energy. You finally fell asleep right after Spike brought out the first full stack.” Pinkie stomped on the edge of her plate, flipping all of her pancakes into the air before deftly moving underneath to catch all of them in her mouth at once.
“Did she really just do that?” Spike asked as he placed Alex’s stack in front of him. “C’mon, Pinkie. Yours took forever to top with everything you wanted, you could at least chew.”
“Thanks.” Alex grabbed the syrup, liberally applying it to his pancakes. “So, can I ask you something?”
Pinkie suddenly spat out a measuring spoon, one which landed sticking up with the cupped end pointing at the ceiling in the middle of Alex’s plate. “I win!” This earned her a glare from Rarity, who had moved beside Twilight, and one from Fluttershy as well.
“Uh, sure I guess,” Spike said, pulling his eyes away from Pinkie’s odd display. “I’m like an open book, don’t be afraid to ask me anything!”
“How long is this babying treatment going to last? I mean, I know I’ve only been here a few days and you guys don’t really understand just how durable humans are, but the fact that she bugged you six times about my pancakes…”
“Dude, I’m sixteen and Twilight still calls me a baby because dragons live practically forever. Get used to it.” Spike hopped up and snatched the measuring spoon off the top of Alex’s stack. “On the bright side, at least you know more about your species than I do. Not many books on dragons.”
Alex stared down at him for a moment before speaking. “You’re sixteen? Shit man, that sucks.”
“Alex, language!” Fluttershy chided as a discussion on the other side of the table turned towards Twilight’s recent sleeping issues. “Especially around Spike.”
Spike muttered under his breath before walking back towards the kitchen. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the kitchen making my own breakfast.”
“You want some company?” Alex called, popping a piece of pancake into his mouth. “I can be pretty fun to have around. You can just ask Discord.”
“Yeah, sure. I know you aren’t going to treat me like a baby at least.”
“I’ll be back,” Alex said to Fluttershy before gathering up his plate and making his way into the kitchen. Leaning on a wall, he watched Spike work. “Where’d you learn to cook anyway?”
“Celestia’s castle chef taught me a lot about pastries, and nearly everything else was from my mom.” Spike quickly mixed a clawful of gem flakes into a second, smaller bowl of batter than the large one that was sitting on a counter away from the stove. “Pinkie though, half of her recipes are close to royal chef level talent.”
“And your mom, I take it, is Twilight’s mom?” Alex asked, taking another bite of his pancakes. “Great pancakes too. Way better than IHOP. You could open a restaurant with skills like this.”
“Eh, she’s close enough to being my mom even if it was Twilight who hatched me. She was a little too young to start taking care of me back then, and she’s more like a sister at this point even if she is my ‘legal guardian.’” The batter seemed to glitter as he poured a healthy amount into the pan.
Taking a moment to eat another bite, Alex spoke. “Some people will tell you that blood is thicker than water. But, in my experience, blood doesn’t make family. It’s the people you love that matter; not some random accident of genetics.”
“Huh. I hadn’t thought about that too much. I didn’t even think about that after finding out most dragons are complete jerks.” He turned away from the stove for a moment to grab a few chocolate chips to sprinkle in before the batter became too firm in the pan. “Then again, I also don’t even know if any of my family members are still alive or not, on the dragon side anyways.”
“Ever wanna find out?” Alex asked, putting his empty plate on the counter. “Ask em why you grew up with ponies?”
Spike shakes his head slowly “Nah. After everything that happened with Peewee’s egg I’m pretty sure they’d just point to other dragons and shrug or something.”
A knock was heard on the door moments before it cracked open and Rarity stuck her head in. “Oh Spikey-wikey, could you be a dear and take Twilight to the spa when you’re done with your breakfast? We want to make the castle feel better and more homey for Twilight while she takes some time for some much-needed relaxation after the whole Tirek and Starlight week of horribleness.”
“Uh, sure, Rarity, I-I can do that!” Spike smiled at her, swooning ever so slightly. “How long do you want her there for?”
“Oh, just a couple hours for us to spruce the place up should do, but I’ll give you a few dozen bits so you can go as long as you or she wants to, okay? Oh, and come back to take a look before she’s done.”
“Uh, you want me to do anything in this plan?” Alex asked, rubbing his neck. “What exactly do you plan on doing to the castle? You buying like curtains and stuff like that or?”
“Well, we’re going to spruce the place up,” Rarity replied, glancing over her shoulder. “This castle, while magnificent, has a very... impersonal touch. Twilight just needs it to feel like a home.”
“Alright, so take Twilight to the spa, make sure I get a treatment shorter than hers and come back before hers ends to check in and make sure everything’s good? I can do that, but it’ll be a while before I’m done eating. I like to savor my food.”
“Wonderful, Spike. Thank you ever so much for the assistance.” Rarity smiled at spike before looking back towards Alex. “I’m sure you could help your mother out with her ideas. I know Fluttershy’s perfectly capable of doing her own things, but that way she wouldn’t be worried about you getting hurt with, or by, one of us.”
Alex sighed, putting his hands in his pockets. “Why am I not surprised? Fine, I’ll help Fluttershy with whatever she’s got planned. Have a good time, Spike.” Patting his shoulder, Alex moved past Rarity and made his way over to Fluttershy.
“Did you and Spike have a nice chat?” Fluttershy asked, gathering up everyone’s dishes. “It makes me feel good to know you’re making friends.”
“He’s a nice guy,” Alex offered, taking a few dishes into his hands. “So, whatcha got planned for the castle? Some throw pillows and nice blankets?”
“Actually I was thinking about bringing some animals in and helping put a little nature in here. It’s so stark and lifeless. I can see why Twilight is having problems feeling at home.”
“Uh, that’s a terrible idea. Twilight doesn’t seem like the kind of person to want a lot of animals around here,” Alex replied, walking with her to the kitchen. “I mean, I get it. We live with a bunch of animals, but that’s us.”
“Oh, you think so? She does have an owl that lives with her and sometimes helps her out when she’s working on projects late at night though. Owliscious.”
“Then, why don’t we set something up for him?” Alex offered, putting the dishes in the sink. “Ton of rooms here, could make one of them just for him.”
“That does sound like a really good idea.” Fluttershy looked around the room for a bit. “Maybe we could get some flowers for some of the rooms too. They’re both decorative and a convenient snack if we’ve missed a meal, which is something I know Twilight does on occasion.”
“That’s not bad. You know which are her favorite?” Turning away from her, he watched the others zip about the room. “For that matter, any idea what they’re doing?”
“Well, little filly, Ah’m gonna give this big ol’ castle some rustic charm! Put some hay bales and crates in here! Maybe even a saplin’! It’ll be like home in no time!” Applejack explained, wearing a large grin.
Alex’s face shifted into a frown quickly, partially from the ‘filly’ comment, but also because that seemed like a really stupid idea. “Uhhh, did her old home have...any of that in it? She’s much more the bookworm and scientific type from everything I’ve heard.”
“Well no...” Applejack admitted, regarding him thoughtfully. “But Sweet Apple Acres has them and it’s the most welcoming homestead there is!”
“But it’s a farm. Twilight isn’t a farmer.” Alex’s eyes wandered for a moment before he snapped his fingers. “Kitchen! That kitchen looked really bare. Maybe you could make the kitchen look more like the one in your home?”
“Ya know, that ain’t a half bad idea. Shoot! Ah’m gonna give it a try! Thanks, Alex!” Tipping her hat, Applejack galloped out of the room.
Sighing, Alex rubbed his temples. “I get the feeling the others have really poor ideas too. I’m going to check with them before I help you out, alright, Fluttershy?”
“Oh, okay. I’ll just head out and get some potted flowers from the market if you’re going to stay here. I won’t be gone long.” She flew up relatively quickly and gave Alex a quick kiss on the forehead before slowly flying out of the room.
Alex blushed, fighting the urge to wipe his forehead. “Right. Stop stupid decisions. Hey, Dash! What are you doing for Twilight’s castle?” Walking over, he nearly went cross eyed as she flitted about the room.
“I was thinking of bringing in some sports stuff, some trophies, a few wonderbolts posters. Oh, maybe that picture of me winning the Best Young Fliers competition!” She grinned widely as she mentioned that. “That’d be kinda awesome to bring here since everypony was there.”
“Okay, that’s the most narcissistic thing I’ve ever heard someone say,” Alex said plainly. Grabbing Dash’s tail, he dug his heels into the floor when she moved to zip away. “How about instead of that, set her up a gym? And maybe throw a few Daring Do posters up in her library? I know she likes that, been trying to get me to read them since she found out that I can read your language just fine.”
“A gym? But she’s an egg...head. Oh, wow. Wow that was really bucking stupid of me. Other than a picture to remind her of the time she cast a super-complicated spell on Rarity there was nothing even remotely about her in any of what I was thinking.” She actually facehoofs and rubs her muzzle in a way that looks like it should hurt. “Okay, so, you have a point. I’m pretty sure she lost most of her book collection in the explosion. I could get her a new boxed collection of the Daring Do series or something...and some kind of gym wouldn’t be horrible..”
“Yeah, you, Fluttershy and Applejack all had pretty bad ideas,” Alex agreed, giving a nod. “It’s like you’re all holding the idiot ball today or something.” Thinking on Dash’s words, he asked. “Where did she live before? Twilight I mean.”
“Oh, she was the town librarian. I’m surprised Fluttershy didn’t tell you about this. She lived in a tree that Tirek blew up during her fight with him. The tree was also the town library, and I know I’ve heard her talk about opening up one room here to replace that, but it’s not like I can replace all her books myself.”
“Huh. Can you tell me where the library used to be?” Alex asked, letting go of her tail. “Might get an idea of my own or something.”
Rainbow looked around the room quickly, and her eyes narrowed immediately. “Where’s Fluttershy?”
“She, ummm, she left to go to the market real quick for some flowers?”
“Haha, nope. I’m not telling you anything that’s gonna let you leave the castle without an adult at your side. You’re going to wait here and ask her, because I’m not going to make her worry because I took you somewhere.”
“And here I thought you’d treat me like an adult,” Alex scoffed. “Way to let me down, Dash.” Shaking his head, he started to walk away. “Guess I’ll just have to find it myself.”
“Much as I wish I was the element of coolness, kid, my element is loyalty, and your mom’s my oldest friend, so I’m not letting you out of my sight.” Rainbow Dash immediately zipped over to his side and began to just hover above him there.
“I’m still older than you,” Alex reminded, making his way out of the dinning hall. “But please, continue to call me kid.”
“Alex, I know Twilight told you our minority laws about non-ponies. They aren’t that much looser for ponies. I’ve been the weather manager here in Ponyville for a few years now, which required three extra years of schooling and another two years of experience on the ground. I get that the ‘hovering parent’ mentality can be annoying. You have no idea how much I feel for you on that one, but there’s a reason we do these things. Right now we don’t really know what you can and can’t do, so everypony you come across is going to be super careful about not hurting you or letting you hurt yourself.”
“Bah!” Alex dismissed, throwing his hands up. “I’m going to go crazy like this.” Trying to recall the way they had come, he moved down the hallways. “Being treated like a toddler is not fun.”
“Hey, we’re not treating you entirely like a toddler, which I assume is close to a foal. You’re not in diapers or anything like that. The only reason I’m saying ‘no’ here is because I don’t want Fluttershy worrying, rather than any concern about you. I mean, you look like you might even be able to fend off a timberwolf or two alone to me, but Fluttershy would have a fit if she heard me say that.”
“That doesn't help, Rainbow.” Managing to find his way to the front door, Alex stepped out into Ponyville. “And for the record, if you tried putting me in one, you'd find out how much it hurts to get smacked in the face by a giant key.”
“Uh, Alex, you talked to your mother, Applejack, and me, right? And we all had bad ideas, right?” Rainbow Dash darted in front of Alex and hovered there, not entirely blocking him, but pointing back into the castle. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to leave the castle before finding out what Rarity and Pinkie have in mind? We could come back to find it covered in frosting with ruby sprinkles.”
Alex narrowed his eyes, sizing Dash up. “If I was slightly more paranoid, I'd say you were all in cahoots to keep me busy or make me feel included. Should I be paranoid, Dash?”
“Eh. To be perfectly honest I know Rarity isn’t going to go completely crazy with Twilight still there, and Pinkie is never predictable. That was more my last-ditch effort to get you back in the castle so I didn’t have to follow you around.” She rolled over onto her back and proceeded to somehow fly in that position while keeping pace with him without any apparent effort. “You’re still new in town and some ponies react strangely to things they don’t know, but those who do know you would wonder why there isn’t at least one pony, adult or child, obviously helping you find your way around.”
Coming to a stop, Alex pinched the bridge of his nose. “Is it really that important to you that I stay in the castle?”
“No, but it is important to me that nopony has a reason to send in a report that Fluttershy’s colt is going around unsupervised in a place where he’s still new and wouldn’t know his way around. So you wanted to check out Twilight’s old place, right? It’s basically in the center of town, pretty darn close to the town hall. Follow me.”
“By all means,” Alex said, moving after Dash. He made a point to wave at whoever they passed, though he noted they didn't really seem to know what to make of him. “Think I should spend less time in the coat?” he asked Dash, stopping to let a cart pass.
Dash turned to look back at Alex and quickly shook her head. “I dunno, is it too warm for you or something?”
“I ask because it sort of has an intimidating air to it, ya know?” Alex shrugged, resuming his walk. “I don't want to come off as some weirdo or some crazy cult member.”
“You are literally the only being that looks like you in Equestria, as far as we know. That in itself makes you weird enough already, and I’m willing to bet half the reason ‘Shy left you in the castle was because she didn’t want a certain three flower-selling mares to see you and overreact like they do to everything.” She pulled off a few rolls and loops as she talked and flew, but almost like she didn’t even realize she was doing them rather than as an effort to show off.
“Hey, Dash!” A slightly nasal voice came from the side. An orange blur barreled towards them, coming to a stop a few inches in front of Alex's shoes. A small orange pony stood on a scooter, her tiny wings abuzz. “I've been looking all over for you!”
“Oh, hey squirt. What’s up? Why aren’t you at school already?” Dash landed quickly and gently rustled the little filly’s purple mane.
“I heard Fluttershy adopted a filly and I wanted to know if you knew anything about her!” The filly replied, just oozing enthusiasm.
“Why don’t you turn around and ask him yourself? You nearly ran him over trying to talk to me.”
“Huh?” The filly turned around, her gaze meeting Alex's legs. She moved her gaze up, openly gawking. “Whoa! I've never seen anypony like you before! You're so tall!”
“Um...thanks?” Alex raised an eyebrow while looking between the filly and Rainbow Dash. “Care to introduce us, Skittles?”
“Oh, right. Scootaloo, this is Alex, Fluttershy’s adopted son. Alex, this is Scootaloo. She’s my biggest fan in Ponyville and can do some sweet tricks with her scooter herself.”
Scootaloo frowned, something not clicking in her head. “Wait but, how can Alex be Fluttershy's son if everyone said she adopted a filly? I mean, you even sound like a filly?”
Alex frowned as well, and he quickly crouched down to be a little less intimidating. “It’s complicated enough to be a little too confusing for me to tell you everything, but this isn’t the body I was born with. I was born a male and got turned into a female when I came here, but I still consider myself male because it’s what I’ve always been.”
Holding her frown for a few moments more, excitement burst through Scootaloo's confusion. “Oh, you’re a lesbian! That's cool. My aunt's are lesbians too.”
Rainbow Dash immediately burst out laughing, and Alex stared for a moment before joining Dash in her laughter. “You know, I suppose I am a lesbian now,“ Alex conceded, giving Scootaloo's ears a light scratch. “But, that's not what I meant.”
“It’s not?” Scootaloo looked up at Dash, confusion clear on her features. “I don’t get it, I thought ponies were either male or female and that’s it, unless they use something my aunts have been talking about the last couple days.”
“Well uh...” Dash trailed off, looking to Alex for help.
“I’m not a pony, though, and I came from a different world with different rules. Something happened when I came through and I ended up in a female body instead of a male one. One big...magical accident.”
“So... your head says one thing but, your body says another?” Scootaloo asked, studying Alex's face.
“I think that’s close enough, but your head is who you are, so I follow what my head says.”
“I get it.” Scootaloo nodded. “Can I tell Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle? I wouldn't want them to think you’re a filly or anything.”
“Sure. I’m probably going to meet them soon enough anyways since I have to go to school for history and math classes here. Stupid base four notation.”
“Okay.” Scootaloo smiled, buzzing her wings again. “I have to go catch up with Bloom and Sweetie before we're late for school. See ya, Dash! Bye, Alex!” Pushing off, Scootaloo zipped off at a speed that would make a motor scooter jealous.
“Nice kid,” Alex commented, standing up. “Damn, she's fast on that thing.”
“Yeah, but she’s only fast on that thing. We’re not sure what it is, but she can’t seem to push any air down, only back. Twilight’s been looking into it in her free time, and the little kid has more than enough wingpower to fly, but it’s all going back and up instead of down.” Dash shifted uncomfortably for a moment. “And uh, I'm sorry my first reaction was to start laughing. You aren't mad at Scoots or anything, are you?”
“What? No, of course not. I mean, it’s probably true since I’m pretty sure I’m not interested in guys, and my body is female. That...that’s pretty much the common definition of ‘lesbian’ if your world really doesn’t have any transgender people.” Alex gave a smile. “Besides, I'd much rather be compared to who I would assume are her role models over anything else.”
“Her aunts love her, and I know she appreciates them. Anyways, let’s get going again, the old library’s not that far off now.”
True to her word, what was left of the old library was just a few minutes away. The charred stump marred the ground like an ugly scar and Alex could only wonder what it had been like before. Kneeling beside it, he placed a hand on the blackened wood. “Must have sucked, losing a home like this.”
“I guess it must have meant a lot to her, and I know my cloud-house is special to me since I built most of it myself.” Dash landed besides him, gazing wistfully at the stump. “Everypony’s got memories of this place. Can't tell you how many times I crashed in through the window.”
“Memories…” Alex snapped his fingers a few times, an idea forming in his head. “Hey, uh, Discord, can you hear me? If you can, I could use your help with something!”
“You’re lucky I’m bored this early in the morning.” Discord floated up from behind Rainbow Dash and yawned widely as he looked around. “Mischief, prank, or some goody-four-shoes action?”
“The last one.” Alex straightened up, pointing at the stump. “I got an idea with this thing and I need your help.” Regarding Dash, he pat her head. “You can head back to the castle. Tell Rarity I think she should spruce up the dining hall.”
“Okay. if Fluttershy gets back first I’ll just tell her you’re with her coltfriend.” Dash smirked at Discord before flying off in a different direction than the castle.
“Alright, so we’re on a good mission here? Can’t say it’s my favorite thing to do, but I would like to help make this mess up to Twilight.” Discord actually sounded a little sad as he looked over the destroyed library.
“Look on the bright side, you get brownie points with your girl by hanging out with her kid,” Alex pointed out, clapping him on the back. “Now, here's what I got in mind...”
Twilight trotted through the castles front doors, carrying Spike on her back. “Well that was an eventful spa trip.”
“Are you sure you didn’t want the free massage offer? You could have at least taken the coupon to give to Rarity or somepony.” Spike grumbled softly from her back, looking only slightly worried.
“Rarity practically has a spa discount, given how much she's there,” Twilight countered. “For now I'll just... Do some reading. Maybe see about checking up on Alex.”
“What would you need to check up on Alex for? I know he’s fine with Fluttershy and Discord, and he helped the girls out today.”
“Helped them out with what?” Twilight inquired, looking back at him with a cocked eyebrow. “Spike, is there something you’re not telling me?”
“More like something all of us didn’t tell you, but you’re probably going to like it. Rarity asked me to take you to the spa so they could all do something for you here.” Spike smiled widely and pointed back towards the way they’d been going. “Go on, you know you want to see it.”
Twilight held herself back from galloping through the doors to the throne room. “Girls? You know, you really didn't need to do anything for me.” Grasping the handles in her magic, she pulled them up.
“Surprise!” Seven voices rang out in unison as the doors opened into the dining room, and revealed a room that had just a tiny bit of obvious changes from everyone involved. The crystal walls had been accented with wood mouldings to break up the bland expanses, and a set of thin curtains brought the light coming in through the windows down to a level where it wasn’t causing blinding reflections off the facets in the room. A potted assortment of flowers was in the middle of the table, and the flowers were the official colors of the wonderbolts, with the table itself covered in a smattering of confetti that was changing colors every so often. No one thing was trying to overwhelm the others.
Twilight stammered, eyes talking in every last details. “Girls, y-you didn't have to do all of this,” she protested weakly, though the words died when her gaze landed on her smiling friends.
“We kinda did, Twilight. We had to find some way to make you feel more comfortable at home.” Rainbow Dash flew over and placed a decent-sized gift box down in front of Twilight. “I figured you probably lost yours, so I made a really quick trip to find a good replacement set for you…”
“Ah gave yer kitchen a mighty fine homestead makeover,” Applejack informed, tipping her hat.
“I made sure to stock you up on quality baking supplies and a few other fun things. Oh, and there might be a few party cannons hidden in your closets for extra surprises later!”
“I turned a room into a perfect living nook for Owlicious. Oh, and the flowers. I put flowers in every room that had a window for you.”
“I also put some Daring Do posters up in your library and I threw together a little work out room for ya “ Dash added, puffing her chest out.
“And I... really went a bit overboard with the decorations in here initially, but the girls, and Alex, managed to talk me out of most of them, and down to this much better presentation. Then I helped them out a bit with some extra touches added to their rooms, like a better layout for Rainbow Dash’s equipment, and the right lighting for the kitchen so it was a bit brighter. You get the idea.”
Discord smiled, putting his paw on Twilight's head. “The credit for this last renovation goes to Alex. It was his idea, I just helped.” Tilting Twilight's head up, he pointed to the new object grafted to the ceiling.
A massive root system graced the ceiling, the bottom of the roots either merging with the walls close by and visibly extending into them, or holding small gemstone ornaments that sparkled with an inner light that would occasionally shine out as images of the six of them having fun, or on an adventure. Some of these images were clearly from memories, lacking a key member, and others were stylized to look like they were shaped from stained glass.
“With your permission, Twilight, I’d like to copy a few of your memories so that there’s some from your point of view in the mix as well.”
Twilight sniffled, feeling warm tears streaming down her face. “T-that's so... So sweet.” She hiccuped, fighting and failing to hold back a sob. “T-thank you so much.”
“Aw, wasn't nothing Twilight.” Closing the gap, Applejack pulled Twilight into a hug. “Yer our friend. We can't have ya uncomfortable in yer own home.”
The rest of the girls joined in, turning the hug into a group affair. Alex stood in the doorway, watching the scene unfold. To his surprise, Twilight regarded him with a warm smile and an inviting wing. Gingerly stepping over, he knelt down and joined the hug.
A shared warmth spread through him, washing away his anxieties and worries. For the moment, everyone was happy. They accepted him, made him feel welcome. He hid his own tears, simply content to partake in the love.
Discord was the only one to stand apart for this, but a silent gesture quickly saw a new crystal appear above with this group hug from his point of view embedded within.
Alex frowned as he closed the button on his new pair of pants only to find that there was a fair bit of slack in the waist despite feeling perfect elsewhere. “I dunno, Rarity, it’s a bit loose around the waist,” he commented, glancing at the mirror. “Anything you can do to tighten em up a bit or something?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I was working off of the larger measurements Discord provided. I thought the smaller set was a mismeasurement for someplace higher on your body.” Rarity stepped forward and carefully lit her horn to surround the waistband of the jeans to hold them close to his skin without pinching. “This would have been easier if you’d just agreed to model these for me. Even if Discord was willing to help, I thought he wasn’t beyond pulling a prank.”
“Maybe next time,” he offered weakly, doing his best to stay still. “You’re going to have to talk measurements again anyway. Human females have wider hips than males do, and mine are likely still growing.”
“Ah yes. I remember you telling me about this. If I recall, you said humans have greater differences between the sexes than height and muzzle shape.” Rarity hummed, levitating over a few tools and other requirements. “Do you have any inkling on how you’ll turn out.”
“Not really other than just, well, bigger everywhere? I mean, I’m back down to fourteen and humans can grow into their early twenties.”
“Ah, and you wouldn’t have any ideas from relatives because of the whole fictional character thing. I can see that this will become problematic soon, but Fluttershy and I will work something out.” A thin measuring ribbon was placed against the waistband and held carefully. “Alright dear, do me a quick favor and adjust the fit yourself so that it’s comfortable for you. Just slip your hands under the fabric and give yourself a little room, okay?”
“Right.” Alex gingerly moved his hands under the hem of his pants, wiggling them around for a moment. “I think this is good. Yeah, this is good, let’s go with this.”
A little head peeked into the room, observing them. “Rarity, is Alex almost done? We’re going to be late,” the little pony squeaked, watching Rarity’s magic closely. “Rarity?”
“Just a minute, Sweetie. You wouldn’t want me to slip right now.” The tape measure cinched in tight around the fabric once more, this time without causing the jeans to tighten in turn, and a small mark appeared at the point of overlap. “Alright, that’s that exact measurement taken, and now the quick adjustment. Alex, don’t move.”
Once Alex nodded in understanding, a needle zipped over and began to make quick and careful stitches in key places to hold the jeans right at that point where they fit him just right. A little over five minutes later she had declared the stitches ‘serviceable’ and ushered the two youngsters out the door and on their way off to school for the day.
“So... Scootaloo told me you’re a boy lesbian. What’s a lesbian?”
‘It's just a school, with horse children. You've dealt with worse.’’ Alex thought to himself, blocking out the chatter from the three fillies walking besides him. ‘You got some new clothes, your coat, and three hyperactive guardian angels. You'll be fine.’
“Ya’ll should’a been clearer when ya told us about Alex. Ah thought ‘lesbian’ was his species or sumthin’.”
“Homo Sapien,” Alex offered, looking down at the yellow filly on his right. “Otherwise known as human.”
“Right, ya already told us. Ah’m just tellin Scootaloo that she should’a been clearer.” She responded right back while looking up. “Name’s Apple Bloom. You’ve met mah older sister.”
“Right, right, I should have guessed from the accent.” Alex reached down and gently scratched behind Apple Bloom’s ears for a few seconds. “Feel free to ask me questions, and I’ll try to answer honestly, okay?”
Apple Bloom smiled, leaning into Alex’s hands. “Oooh! That feels mighty nice!”
“I’ll ask the first one! If you don’t have hooves or paws, what do you have?” Sweetie Belle asked, eyeing Bloom enviously.
“Well, I’m walking on my feet, and I use my hands to grip things, or to interact with the world in general. Oh, and no, they do not look the same before you ask. Feet are much longer and generally less flexible than the palms of hands, and toes are much shorter than fingers, with fewer joints.”
“Huh, that’s interestin-”
“Can humans get cutie marks!?” Scootaloo asked, cutting off Sweetie Belle.
“Umm, not as far as I know. If humans have any marks on their skin they’re either minor coloration defects, which we call ‘birthmarks,’ or if it’s an intricate design those are usually artificial, and are called tattoos. Keep in mind that I don’t know how magic works here, so there’s a chance if other non-pony species can get them, but most likely no.”
“You know what that means girls?” Bloom asked, looking between Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo frantically.
“New crusader?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“New target for Diamond Tiara to pick on.”
“We could try and help Alex get his cutie mark!” Apple Bloom declared, dancing on her hooves. “He can be our newest recruit!”
“Don’t I get a say in this?” Alex asked, pulling his hand away from Apple Bloom as what Scootaloo just said registered in his mind. “Wait, who’s Diamond Tiara?”
“Oh, she’s just a mean rich filly,” Apple Bloom explained with a huff. “Always pickin’ on us fer not having our cutie marks.”
“Oh, a bully.” Alex frowned while briefly clenching his hand into a fist and taking a deep breath. “Let me guess, no adult ever seems to care about what she says or does?”
“Well, it’s just, Miss Cheerilee can only do so much,” Sweetie Belle replied. “I know our sisters have talked with Diamond’s parents but, she just makes her folks think we’re the ones givin’ her a hard time.”
Alex pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long breath. “Okay, I’ll deal with her my own way if it comes to that.” Waving off their concern, he tensed up as they approached the school. “So, Miss Cheerilee. She cool, or...?”
“She’s a good teacher, and Ah ain’t never had no trouble passin’ the tests she gives us.”
Sweetie Belle stopped and stared at Apple Bloom for a moment. “Did you just use a triple-negative?”
“Dialects are weird,” Alex dismissed, waving the question off for Apple Bloom. Stepping up to the door, he hesitated for just a moment before stepping inside. The chatter of the classroom came to a stop, all of the foals inside turning to look at him.
“Oh, you must be Alex.” A kind voice came from a magenta mare behind the teacher’s desk. She smiled as she slipped out and walked over to the door. “Go on to your seats, girls, while I have a brief word with the new student, okay?”
“Yes, Miss Cheerilee!” the three responded in unison, moving to their seats.
“Thank you.” She sighed briefly before gesturing back out the door with a foreleg. “Let’s just step outside for a bit of privacy, shall we? I trust my students to not destroy the building in three minutes.”
“Right, okay.” Alex stepped back outside, turning back to her. “So, whatcha wanna talk about?”
“I just wanted to make sure I understood everything on your application correctly is all. Your medical examination lists you as female, and the school attendance application lists male.” She paused and shook her head slowly. “It’s simply not something I’ve encountered before and I wanted to make sure I was understanding everything since I genuinely care about all of my students. I did run into your mother at the market the other day, and she told me to just treat you like I would any other colt except where medical information might be relevant, is that correct?”
“Yeah, that’s the jist of it,” Alex confirmed, giving her a thumbs up. “It looks to me that your society hasn't had to dealt with gender dysphoria before.”
“It probably has something to do with magic.” Cheerilee giggled slightly. “Anyways, feel free to talk with me about anything, alright? I’m a teacher, so I’m used to answering questions that parents either don’t have time for or don’t feel comfortable answering.”
“Thanks.” Alex shared a smile with her. “Just know that if Discord ever shows up for PTA, he’s guaranteed to be on his best behavior. Otherwise, he’s on the couch.”
“Oh, right...Discord. I honestly hadn’t thought of that. Oh well, I’m sure he won’t be any more trouble than...nevermind. That’s everything I had questions about all straightened out, so let’s go back inside and get you introduced to the class. I know you’re only supposed to be attending for math and history, but you can stay for other lessons if you like.”
“I got nothing else going on,” Alex admitted, following her back inside. “Might as well give it a try for a day.”
Cheerilee nodded and headed back inside to stand in front of the blackboard. She motioned for Alex to step back inside and waited for him before she started speaking. “Alright students, as you might have noticed earlier, you have a new classmate. This young colt is Alex, and he will be attending for math and history lessons at the very least, having tested out of all other subjects in a placement exam. I hope you all welcome him warmly and treat him with the kindness you show any other student.” She then turned to Alex once more. “Did you want to say anything to your new classmates?”
“It’s nice to meet you all,” Alex greeted, giving a small wave. “Here’s to hoping we all get along.”
A few voices could be heard in a soft murmur from the students he hadn’t already met. With a nod from Cheerilee, he moved towards the largest desk in the room, obviously for him. He took it without a second thought, getting an overwhelming sense of deja vu.
“Miss Cheerilee, may I switch seats?” The pink filly directly in front of him spoke up almost immediately after he sat down.
“Why do you want to switch seats this time, Diamond Tiara? You were separated from Silver Spoon for a reason.”
“I just don’t think I’ll be comfortable with someone that big behind me, or safe.” Her muzzle wrinkled slightly. “And he smells like he eats meat.”
“Because I do,” Alex said, leaning back in his seat. “Just fish, though. Humans need more protein than ponies do.”
“No, Diamond Tiara, you may not change seats. Also, I could barely even smell anything, so I know you’re exaggerating.” Cheerilee quickly turned to the board and picked up a piece of chalk to begin marking a few multiplication problems on the board. “Alright, Alex, you’ll find a set of textbooks inside the desk. Everypony turn to page fifty-six and we’ll start with one of the simpler problems.”
It was like learning another language, Alex realized as he rubbed out an incorrect answer. He found himself defaulting back to base 10, only to catch himself after he had already finished the equation. “God, this sucks,” he grumbled, forcing himself to slowly go through the problem.
“What’re you having trouble with?” The voice came from the orange colt to his right, and it was a bit on the slow side, like he had to deliberately think about every word before saying it.
“Ah, see, I was taught base 10 math and you guys use base 4. I just keep defaulting to 10,” Alex explained, setting his pencil down. “It’s driving me up a wall.”
“Well, why not do the work the way you know, and show it, and then write the answer in the numbers we use?”
“That’s not a bad idea,” Alex said, nodding his head. “But a few too many steps to get the right answer. I need to make this second nature.”
“Oh. Sorry, thought I could help. Maybe you could show me the problem during lunch?”
“Snails! Please pay attention to the lesson, but thank you for trying to assist Alex.”
“Sorry Miss Cheerilee.” Snails sat back up straight in his seat and looked mostly straight ahead at the board.
Alex nodded at him with a slight smile before going back to his work.
Cheerilee quickly went back to the lesson on the four basic states of matter, and asked Snails a question that might have tripped up a high-school student back on Earth, only for the slow-voiced colt to respond correctly after a few seconds of thought.
“Oh, now I get it.” Snails stated as Alex wrote out the numbers for the base 10 system he was used to using. “Your species uses more than four different numbers to count, so you’d have to do a lot more work...but your extra numbers means math takes up much less space.”
“You know, you’re pretty smart,” Alex commented, letting his hands rest on his lap. “I’m surprised Ms. Cheerilee doesn’t have you doing harder stuff.”
“Oh, no, It’s not that she doesn’t have me do harder stuff, it’s that I don’t want to leave Snips behind. We’re best buddies.” He lifted his sandwich to take a bite, and then frowned as a thought seemed to finally surface. “You know, you don’t seem young enough to be here.”
“Yeah, but uh, it’s complicated,” Alex replied, tossing a berry into his mouth. “Laws and all. I only really need the history and math lessons. I just didn’t have any other plans for the day.”
“And history isn’t until after lunch…” Snails finally took a bite of his sandwich and closed his eyes as he chewed slowly.
“I’ll make do.” Turning his full attention to his meal, Alex looked off into town. “Grade school is very different after a few years of med-school.”
“You know, you have a pretty voice for a colt.”
“I uh...” Alex found himself at a loss for words. “W-what makes you say that?” he asked, feeling his face heat up ever so slightly.
Snails’ ears flicked and he looked away for a moment. “You just sound a bit more like a filly is all, like you could sing really nice or something. It’s...it’s smoother than mine, or Snips, or Rumble…”
“Well uh, the fact of the matter is, I have the body of a female,” Alex admitted, clearing his throat. “It’s not something I’m a fan of but that’s just how things are and I have to deal with it.”
“Oh, okay. I-uh, I’ll just try to ignore it when I’m helping you, okay? So, do you know the old names for four, eight, twelve, and sixteen? The one for sixteen is still used.”
“Uh, maybe. Math’s never been my thing.” Alex rubbed his neck, a little embarrassed. “Always got passing grades back in High School but never excelled.”
“Oh, no, I mean the names used here way back in the past.” Snails smiled again as he popped the last bite of his sandwich into his mouth. “See, ponies used to just count with their hooves and make marks in the dirt for every four, so four was one hoofcount, eight was two hoofcounts, twelve was three, and sixteen was one lot. You need to know what a lot is for some of the word problems on tests.”
“That's going to be a headache,” Alex groaned, slumping in his seat. “Why does the English language need fifty meanings for one damn word?”
“Well, maybe if you ask Miss Cheerilee she’d let you keep a reminder about something like that for tests until you get used to it? She lets me keep a reminder on some things unicorns grow up knowing from their parents, but both of mine are pegasi.”
Alex stared at him for a moment. “How does that work? Uh, if you don't mind me asking?”
Snails stared back for a bit, his face scrunched up in deep thought as he tried to pull up the memory from somewhere in the back of his mind. “We learned this a few months ago, it was an unofficial policy shortly after the first Hearthswarming to promote unity that as many ponies as possible should marry outside of their tribe, so almost everypony alive has all three basic types of pony somewhere in their heritage.” He paused for a second and smiled. “The Cakes are two earth ponies, and their twin foals are a pegasus and a unicorn.”
“Huh, the more you know.” Turning his head slightly, Alex spotted Diamond Tiara and another filly engaging in hushed whispers. “Humans don't have nearly that much variation. It's mostly down to things like hair and eye color, skin tone and facial features.”
“I think the only species like that here is the minotaurs. Supposedly most of them look pretty similar. Then there’s the griffons who are all some kind of cat and some kind of bird...our world must seem pretty weird to someone who didn’t grow up here.” Snails’ ears flicked for a moment, and one eye darted over to glance in the same direction Alex had turned his head. “I don’t think Diamond Tiara likes you.”
“Eh, let em talk,” Alex responded, returning his attention to Snails. “So, where's your buddy, Snips? He off doing something else?”
“Oh, uh, not really? He got lunchtime detention last week for something I told him not to do. Two weeks he has to stay inside during lunch and recess.”
“His stupid friend cut a wasp nest down off the side of the school, then dropped it and got a bunch of us stung.” A grey filly spoke as she walked over, her head turned just slightly upward as if to show off the little pearl necklace she wore. She sounded like a typical spoiled brat, and as if to prove that fact to the universe, her flank was graced by a spoon with fancy decorations. Somehow, despite being a marking on a coat of hair, the spoon looked like an actual, usable metal spoon. Diamond Tiara followed close behind with a sickeningly sweet smile on her face that had to be absolutely fake.
“Yeah, that sounds like a bad idea,” Alex replied, popping another berry into his mouth. “Just be glad they weren't tarantula hawks or Japanese giant hornets.”
“He thought he was doing a good thing by cutting it down to get it away from the school. I know he didn’t mean to drop it, or get anypony hurt, but I thought he should leave it just in case.” Snails spoke up in defense of his friend, but shrank back as Diamond Tiara turned her gaze towards him.
“Nopony asked what you thought, slowpoke.”
“Miss Cheerilee told you not to call me that anymo-”
“Miss Cheerilee is inside watching your friend to make sure he doesn’t do something else stupid and dangerous, and she can’t do anything if she doesn’t see or hear it herself, my mother says.” Diamond Tiara’s smile went from sweet to almost evil as she looked at Alex. “Now that the retard has been dealt with, I’m watching you. I’m going to find out what bothers you and I’m going to use it to drive you out of this school so we’ll be safe with just ponies again. No predators. If I can’t find something; I’m sure my parents will be convinced to do something about you, even if your mother’s some kind of hero.”
Alex let out a very long, heavy sigh. As much as he wanted to lay into her with the worst verbal lashing he could give, he didn't want to make trouble for Fluttershy. Choosing his words carefully, he spoke. “Ah, I see. You're one of those 'mean girls’ who doesn't get the validation they need from their family so they turn to mocking others. That's more than a little pathetic. Hey, Snails, can I ask you a question?”
Snails nodded, but didn’t say anything just yet.
Alex held his hands up and wriggled his fingers. “You see any claws?”
“N-no.” Snails’ voice is thick, and catches in his throat for a moment. This causes both of the fillies to snicker.
“And I obviously don't have fangs.” Alex opened his mouth and poked a tooth. “Which means the only thing you've got to go on is that I eat fish, which I remind you is something pegasi do.” Leaning down, he gestured to the fillies. “You wanna know a secret?”
“Some unicorns do too, like, the ones who cast powerful spells.”
“Quiet, slowpoke!” Diamond Tiara snapped at Snails, then glared at Alex. “What’s your point?”
“My point, Regina George, is that humans got to the top of the food chain because we're smart. Didya’ know we have ponies where I'm from?”
“So what? Ponies are everywhere. I’d be more surprised if you hadn’t run into ponies before one of us took pity on you and brought you somewhere civilized.” This time the comment came from the little grey filly.
“Oh no, you see, the ponies back on Earth are just dumb animals. All they do is neigh and whinny, without a thought in their head. They’re so small we don't even use them as beasts of burden like horses. We just put them in petting zoos and let little girls ride them. So please, don't waste your God-given sapience putting other people down because you have zero self esteem, you gaudy troglodyte.”
Two mouths gaped open slightly at this, and both fillies stammer for a bit before retreating without saying another word to Alex. Snails began to snicker a little, and then laugh as he watched the two bullies run away. “Wow. I don’t think anypony else has ever made her stop making fun of somepony before. Well, other than maybe her parents for a few minutes.”
Alex slumped in his chair again, rubbing his temples. “She's lucky she's a child. I know far, far too many ways to put her in her place. You okay man? Sounded like she got under your skin.”
“Y-yeah, I’ll be fine. I’m not good at magic and that word she used, it’s a bad one. She got detention for a month the first time Miss Cheerilee heard her say it.”
“You'll never hear me say it.” Reaching over, Alex scratched his ear. “I wish I could tell you there was a 'best way’ to deal with people like them, but there honestly isn't.” He physically bit his tongue, ending his thought before anything more cynical slipped out. A brief flash of phantom pain rushed over his eye, passing so quickly he wasn't sure if it happened at all.
“A-alex, c-could you s-stop please?” Snails blushed and ducked away from his hand after a couple seconds. “That feels weird.”
“Sorry. Sorry, I should have asked,” Alex pulled his hand away, letting it fall into his lap. “What makes you say you're bad at magic?”
“It just takes me twice as long to really get anything done if it’s more complicated than holding a pencil or quill, and I don’t learn most things very easily unless it’s related to bugs. That’s how I knew it was a wasp nest and not just bees like Snips thought.”
“Maybe you should be an entomologist?” Alex suggested, giving a warm smile. “No reason to let a talent go to waste. I know I'm going back to med school as soon as I can.” Whatever reply Snails had was cut off by the lunch bell. “Damn, didn't get to finish my food,” Alex grumbled, packing his leftovers into a bag.
“Hold on.” Snails hopped down and picked his own leftovers up to place them into his pack in a slow and methodical manner. “You’ve got five more minutes to eat, that was just to let anypony who was playing something know to wrap it up. All I have left is a few celery sticks, and I’ll nibble on those on the way home.”
“Ah, thanks,” Alex gave a thumbs up before proceeding to quickly devour the rest of his food. “When you’re a broke uni student, you learn to eat quickly,” He explained, giggling at Snails’ expression.
“Hmmm. Oh, I get it, because sometimes the stuff priced low at the market is gonna go bad in a couple days and doesn’t taste all that great. Only the Apples don’t do that, but they don’t sell bad stuff anyways.”
“Good to know.” Alex spent the last few minutes of lunch with Snails before the pair headed inside. It seemed Fluttershy was right, it was rather easy to make friends in Ponyville.
The air split open with a soft pop as Twilight appeared in front of the doors to Canterlot Palace. She took a few seconds to catch her breath while the guards scrambled to open them for her, having immediately recognized the youngest princess of Equestria. Within another few minutes, the panting purple princess presented herself to Celestia and Luna in the throne room, only to find a pitcher of water held out to her in a nebulous blue aura.
“Honestly, Twilight, you could have flown here instead of wearing yourself out by teleporting the entire way. It’s not like my sister told you to get here immediately in her letter.” Luna chided as Twilight took the opportunity to rehydrate herself.
“I suppose I shouldn’t have used the term ‘as soon as possible’ without stressing the point that a couple hours of delay wouldn’t be detrimental. Cadance’s Crystal Express is still an hour away, and our visitor did say he only wanted to have to go over this once.”
“There is no need to wait.” A black portal opened at the doors, allowing Xemnas to step out. “I have retrieved Princess Cadance myself.”
Cadance stumbled a little as she walked out of the portal behind Xemnas. She quickly shook her head and sat down with one hoof pressed against her stomach. “Oh good, the floor has stopped moving. That was a little unsettling for a bit.”
“Is that safe?” Twilight all but demanded. “I thought you needed one of those coats for protection?”
“Cadance's natural light was armor enough,” Xemnas countered, closing the portal. “I believe we are ready to begin.”
Celestia turned to her assistant, as calm as ever. “Why don't you take the rest of the day off, Raven? You can let Captain Max know we're going to be locking the throne room down for some time.”
“With means both magical and mundane.” Luna thought for a moment. “Sister, if we need to brief any guards on this matter, shall we use a geas to ensure they not spread the news to those who need not be concerned with matters they cannot influence?”
“I will defer to your judgement on the matter,” Celestia conceded, moving to her throne. She sat in silence, nodding at Luna to proceed.
Luna waited for Raven to make her exit, and then her horn lit up and a multitude of ancient and powerful runes began to trace themselves in the air and fly out to form multiple gridlike layers against the wall. It took a few minutes, and Twilight noticed that the second half was simply the the same series of spells with the spell energies oriented differently. “There we are, a mix of spell forms both ancient and modern, powered by runes so old that only somepony from our foalhood would be able to begin deciphering them. We are secure, unless Discord decides to pop over for a visit.”
“Excellent, thank you Luna.” Celestia fluffed her wings at the mention of Discord before nodding at Xemnas. “We have all arrived at your request. What is so dire it requires all of Equestria's alicorns?”
Cadance raised a wing for a moment, then held it out as if trying to relieve a cramp. “More to the point, am I the only one who has never met you until today? I trusted you because you had a sealed scroll from Celestia, but I don’t know who or what you are.”
“None of you truly know me, beyond a mere meeting,” Xemnas began, his voice never raising above a monotone. “You may refer to me by my true name; Lee. As for what I am, I am a nobody. That which does not exist.”
“I suspected as much,” Celestia spoke, bearing a critical eye. “I imagine you must have sensed something amiss as well, Cadance.”
“The utter lack of any emotional connections was a bit unsettling, yes. I will admit that I thought he was just a masterpiece golem of some kind at first, or an illusion.” She finally stood back up and walked over to Twilight’s side to give her a gentle hug in place of their usual greeting.
“And yet you clearly do exist...a walking paradox.” Luna closed her eyes in thought. “I apologise, that is rude of me to say.”
“It has been many a century since we have dealt with the likes of yourself,” Celestia said, looking at the younger alicorns. “I must apologize to the both of you, for my sister and I have kept secrets of the very fundamental nature of the world from you both.”
“Not to mention the very existence of our oldest non-pony ally, even if she did vanish without a trace long ago.”
“Everything in this world has a heart both physically and metaphysically,” Celestia began, weaving illusions with her magic, “Our metaphysical hearts guide and strengthen us, but, they are also our greatest weakness. Should a heart give in to darkness, willingly or not, it becomes a Heartless; beings of darkness whose only aim is to create more of their kind.”
The illusions took form, showing the various races of their world, a shining, translucent heart spinning in their chests. A pony’s heart floated out of its body, quickly becoming engulfed in a black haze. The haze solidified, becoming a new body, this one made of shadows.
“Sadly, some species are a bit more vulnerable to this than others. Dragons, diamond dogs, and griffons were formidable foes when this was a more common event. To this day dragons can actually derive power and even grow if they allow themselves to give in to their natural greedy tendencies, though this does tend to degrade their intellect and leave them little better than a common manticore in intelligence.” Luna added a touch of her own magic to the scene, replaying Spike’s own experience with this by recalling a nightmare Twilight had after the event.
“Do not, however, mistake this as death,” Celestia resumed. “When a heart is stolen, the mind, body and soul remain. The body to give physicality, the soul to provide life and the mind to give guidance. These are beings we call nobodies, as they lack hearts they also have no emotion, and thus do not truly exist.”
“That doesn’t really make any sense to me though.” Twilight couldn’t help interrupting. “If a nobody is everything except for the heart...shouldn’t that kind of being be called the heartless, and then the being that is nothing but the heart be the nobody?”
“I told you your student would have the same objection I did as a filly!” Luna stated almost gleefully, but her expression faltered quickly. “We use the names we use for the creatures out of respect for our old mentor who first taught us how to properly fight these creatures without draining our magic completely within a few hours. They were the names she used.”
“And those are the names we shall continue to use,” Celestia said, ending her illusions. “You know Twilight, I’m very interested in meeting this Alex. I wish to know if Aubade is in good hands.”
Twilight blinked in confusion, only for her eyes to pop wide open. “Wait, you used to wield Alex’s...I mean, the keyblade Alex has used to be yours?” She brought a hoof up to rub the side of her head. “And without a keyblade, trying to fight these creatures can drain all of a pony’s magic in a few hours?”
“Indeed. Though you might be able to last a little longer than that what with being the element of magic in addition to an alicorn; it would still behoove us to bestow the ability to use a keyblade upon you, and you as well, Cadance.”
“Oh, no, no I don’t think I should be doing any fighting for the time being Aunt Luna. I think you should do that for Shining Armor at least, and in a few months I’d be able to consider it.”
“Wait, why are we even talking about this like fighting will be necessary? Just because Xemnas is a nobody doesn’t mean we’re going to have to worry about monsters running rampant or anything. He saved our lives when Starlight Glimmer tried to kill us.”
“Because, regretfully, those monsters are already here.” Xemnas opened another portal, this one bringing a new, distinctively non-pony being into the room. “I found him in the jungles, wandering aimlessly.”
That being was a hunched-over monstrous primate with blue-tinged fur, eyes where his nostrils should be, and an additional hand at the end of his tail. Upon completely clearing the portal he dropped into as formal a bow as he could manage. “Your majesties of Equestria, though I do not deserve them, I humbly beg your forgiveness for my past offenses and misguided world domination attempts, and for my continued assaults against one Daring Do.” The voice, while as flat and emotionless as Xemnas, was unmistakable along with that body.
“Ahuizotl?”
Cadance shied away from the new arrival, moving quickly to the other side of Twilight. “No, not exactly, Twilight. He’s empty, just like Xemnas.”
Ahuizotl turned, baring his back to them. Burned into his coat just next to his spine was a silver mark that resembled a thorny, upside down heart. “I have become a nobody, it is true.”
Luna sighed heavily and shook her head. “So we not only have at least one new heartless, which can go on to create a swarm of them if left unchecked, but we likely already have more than one if they have already left behind a nobody that retained enough of its mind to remember who he was.”
“I suggest we begin giving Alex formal training,” Lee spoke, holding his hand up. A dark cloud formed around his hand before revealing a black keyblade. The guard was sculpted in the form of bat wings, the top of said guard bearing a leering goat face. A blue blue jewel was set into the blade, a black iris like line running through it.
“Alex is only fourteen. Under Equestrian law, he’s still a child. His adoptive mother would have to give permission for that...but I’ll talk to her.” Twilight recited the bit of law easily, but added that last bit as she noticed both Celestia and Luna staring at her incredulously.
“There isn’t a choice,” Xemnas spoke, lowering his keyblade. “The heartless fear the keyblade but it also acts as a beacon. They will come for him, eventually.”
“Well, if that’s true just give me one so there’s another pony in Ponyville that can fight back against them. You were planning to do that anyways, and this will give Alex some time to learn about his new body before he’s forced to fight in it.”
Celestia regarded her former pupil with a sad smile. “As much as I would like to perform the ceremony myself, I renounced Aubade long ago. Luna, the honor falls to you.”
Luna rose from her throne, trotting purposefully over to Twilight. “This is not a simple thing, Twilight Sparkle. You’ve only just begun to bear the burden of your crown in earnest. Are you sure you want to add another?”
Twilight took a deep breath and nodded. “I’ve had a target painted on my flank once before, granted with the best intentions, but it hasn’t been that long since I fought Tirek to a standstill. I don’t blame any of you for that, but this won’t be that different. It will help Alex, and it will help Fluttershy too for a while at least.”
“This ceremony was performed on both my sister and I long ago, passed on to us by our master.” Luna’s horn lit up and what almost could be called a nebula formed in front of her. “From one to the next, from the first so many eons ago.” The nebula collapsed, becoming another keyblade. Luna’s keyblade appeared to be primarily black and silver, with multiple starburst adornments that started out a light blue in color in their center, but faded and changed color to yellow or white at their points.
Twilight stiffened up, her muscles involuntarily tensing as she felt the gravity of the situation and tried to brace herself for whatever was to come. She couldn’t help but notice a vague similarity between Luna’s keyblade and what she recalled Alex’s looking like.
Luna held the keyblade in front of her, grasping the hilt in her magic. “In your hand, take this key. So long as you have the makings, then through this simple act of taking, its wielder you shall one day be. And you will find me friend, no ocean will contain you then. No more borders around, or below, or above, so long as you champion the ones you love.”
“As long as I champion the ones I love? Well, I do love my friends, so that won’t be too hard unless Discord turns evil again.” Twilight relaxed slightly before lighting her horn up and attempting to weave her magic together with Luna’s to take the offered keyblade. She did stop just as she started to tug on the hilt. “Wait, this won’t leave you helpless, will it?”
Luna released her hold, allowing Twilight to hold it unassisted. “No, Twilight, you will manifest your own blade, in time. A mere touch is all that is needed to grant one who is worthy of being a wielder. A gift Missing Ache seems willing to give you.” She then frowned, and briefly brushed her magic against Twilight’s own once more. “Strange, you aren’t faltering at all in your grip. Even Celestia and I had some difficulty keeping ours steady the first time we held one.”
“Oh, I... ummm” Twilight looked away for a moment and let out a nervous giggle. “I might have tried to take Aubade from Alex the first time he summoned it because children aren’t supposed to have weapons. It went right back to him after half a second, so this isn’t technically the first time I held one.”
Celestia couldn’t help but giggle a little. “It was still getting used to how Alex felt and you ripped it from his hands? No wonder it rejected you when I knew you were worthy.”
“Are keyblades sapient?” Cadance asked, her eyes going over Missing Ache’s every detail. “Are thinking weapons a thing?”
“Keyblades are intimately tied to the heart of their wielder...most of the time.” Celestia glanced pointedly at the keyblade held by Xemnas. “What Twilight did with Aubade and Alex was, effectively, little different from ripping a newborn away from its mother in the middle of nursing.”
“I uh...” Twilight blushed, her grip on Missing Ache faltering. “T-that’s horrible! I-I didn’t hurt it, did I?!”
Luna quickly swept her magic back in to mingle with Twilight’s and slowly take Missing Ache back. “No, Twilight, do not worry about that. Celestia’s old weapon is quite resilient, as are all keyblades. It wasn’t passed on directly, so it needed more time to form a fully stable connection before it could begin to create other new bonds. It’s not unheard-of, and our old master cautioned us against relying on such ‘accidental bondings’ to create new wielders. This way is safer in the long run.”
“Oh, okay then. So if they’re tied to our hearts, that means they’re somewhat unique to the user?”
“Most times, though some have been passed from master to apprentice,” Xemnas spoke up for the first time since the history lesson. “The one I hold is simply referred to as ‘No Name’, it is the most ancient keyblade of all.”
“Oh, so that means when I develop my own it will be different from Luna’s. I wonder what it will look like?”
“I guess we’ll have to wait and see,” Cadance commented, putting a wing around Twilight’s shoulders. “A lot shorter of a wait for me to get one.” Taking Twilight’s hoof, she placed it on her belly. “I’m not the only one it’d put in danger.”
“Wait, Cadance, am I going to be an Aunt?”
“Surprise!”
“Well, that does explain your hesitancy in being given a weapon of your own, perfectly reasonable I say.” Luna smiled and silently banished Missing Ache once more as she turned to face Celestia. “Sister dear, your niece is going to be having a foal. I think it’s finally time for you to attend your first baby shower!”
“Luna, I attended a few dozen over the last millennium, but this will be the first one I do so gladly, and within my family.”
Twilight tuned out the rest of the conversation, her eyes focused on Cadance’s belly. A new life was growing under her hoof; a new heart coming into the world. There was no way she was going to let anything harm it. ‘I promise you, your Aunt Twilight will keep you safe.’
“Why is it every time I come here, it involves heavy lifting?” Alex questioned, carrying a box of books into whatever room he was heading to. He didn't even think Twilight had names for these rooms. If they did, no one had bothered to inform him. “I'm pretty sure this breaks a few child labor laws.”
“Quit yer jawin’ an’ it’ll go faster. Bloom never really complains ‘bout helpin’ out on the farm, an’ yer twice her size.” Applejack pushed a crate easily five times the size of the box Alex was carrying.
“Yeah, and she's a magic pony with God gifted super strength,” Alex retorted, dropping the box on a table. “Me? I probably weigh like a hundred pounds soaking wet.”
“Fair enough. I ferget how scrawny y’all are under that black coat. Come on, back to the throne room fer the next load of books an’ fixins fer this here library.”
Alex groaned, but followed Applejack back and kept pace with the strong mare. “You’re assuming there’s going to be more?”
Upon getting back to the throne room, Applejack pointed to a crate that was a decent bit bigger than the last one that she’d pushed through the halls herself. “That there’s the last one fer now. Too big fer me t’ move by mahself.”
Alex took one look at the box, then at Applejack before shaking his head and walking away. “Nope. I’m not even going to be able to help you budge that thing. No magic, remember?”
“I’ll help you with it, Applejack. Alex deserves a chance to rest for a bit anyways after ten trips with a bunch of books.” Fluttershy spoke up as she slowly flew closer to the crate. “I’ve finished cleaning the highest part of the windows already anyways.”
“Thanks.” Alex gave Fluttershy's ear a quick scratch before quickly making his getaway. “I'm starting to dislike this castle. On top of being ugly, it's like a work magnet. Come for a visit and Twilight’s got you doing manual labor.”
“It’s fine, Alex. The castle’s a huge place, and Twilight just hasn’t had the time to get staff hired to help out with getting everything done that needs to get done with it. Granted that is partially due to her spending most of the last week trying to avoid the place before we helped her with adding some personal touches here and there. Oh, and thank you again for stopping us from acting like foals by focusing only on things we like when trying to make this place feel more like a home for Twilight.”
Alex sighed, grumbling at being roped into staying. “You guys are fine, you just got carried away. Especially you, Tree Kicker. Hay inside the castle? You don’t even have the excuse of this place having a stable.”
“Sometimes bad ideas lead to good ones, like th’ personal touches Ah put inta that one kitchen that Twilight really liked. Can’t make applesauce without learnin’ that smashed apples still taste good.”
“You just make those up on the spot or are those actual sayings?” Alex questioned, leaning on the doorframe. “I hate to say it but you sound like what people do to make fun of people with that accent.”
Applejack was spared having to answer immediately by the arrival of yet another delivery pony with a cart full of loose books, one of which had a slightly reddish aura around it. “Excuse me, princess, where do you want all these books from Princess Celestia?”
“The library, of course. Third door on the left down that hallway.” Twilight responded without even looking up from the pile of books she was still sorting through and reading. She did at least point to the proper doorway.
“Even this one that’s glowing and vibrating?” The glowing book shifted as the glow intensified for a moment, then began to tumble down the side of the pile before being wrapped up in a brighter red glow as it floated over to Twilight. The cover was decorated with a stylized sun with a red corona on the left and a yellow one on the right, with the circle in the middle almost forming a yin-yang symbol without the extra dot of the opposite color in the larger areas of red and yellow.
“Fancy-schmancy unicorn magic.” Applejack muttered as she leaned into the side of the crate again to at least nudge it out of the main path of travel. “Ah don’t make up all of my ‘countryisms’ on the spot. That one is a favorite of Granny Smith’s, and she knows a bit about learnin’ from her own mistakes.”
“Right. So, Purple Smart, what’s up with the book? You experimenting with marital aids or what?” Alex asked, snickering despite Fluttershy’s unamused look. “What, it was funny!”
“It looks like it’s a message from Sunset Shimmer to Princess Celestia about something strange going on at Canterlot High, the world on the other side of the mirror, that is, not the actual school here in our Canterlot. Singing, glowing gems, fights breaking out suddenly. This sounds a lot like an old legend, and they need my help.”
Fluttershy’s nose wrinkled for a moment, but she didn’t say anything in response to Alex’s statement. She almost looked disappointed about something.
The look made Alex frown, his adopted mother’s disappointment turning out to be worse than any scolding she could have given. “Right, what’s she got over there? A musical version of Infinity War? Do I get to break out the Spider-Man meme?”
“I have no idea what that is.” Twilight responded to Alex while slowly standing up from where she’d been laying down, lifting the entire pile of books she’d been looking at and bringing them with her. “I need to check something out in the library. I want to cross-reference what Sunset was describing against a certain book of folklore that hasn’t steered me wrong yet when it comes to old things resurfacing after thousands of years.”
“Does it involve keys?” Alex questioned, taking it upon himself to follow after her. “Cause I know all about mine and the stuff that goes with it.”
“I don’t think there’s anything about keys in the legend of the sirens, but if this book being active means what I think it mean, I could have a way to force that portal open early so we can see about getting you some extra clothes that aren’t covered with gems.”
“Tsk, I do not cover everything I make in gems...just most things. Some fashions simply are not so easily enhanced, darling.”
“Sirens? You guys have sirens here?” Alex asked, putting his hands in his pockets. “I feel like we might be talking about two very different things though. Should I go first on the exposition spotlight?”
“Feel free, I need to find the book I’m looking for first anyways.” The cloud of books around Twilight was swiftly deposited on a free table, with the new acquisition laying open on top of the pile while she began her search.
“Okay so, sirens are horrific fish-women from Greek myth who used their song to bewitch sailors. Said sailors would be lured towards their rocky perches and shipwreck themselves. The sirens would then feast on the remains.”
“Oh my, that’s so brutal. Then again, nature is rarely as kind as I’d like it to be, and there is a certain majesty about some of the truly odd species out there.” Fluttershy lowered her gaze to the floor for a few seconds as she thought.
“That’s a bit different from our Sirens, Alex. If I remember correctly they’re emotivores, like changelings, but I want to...AHA!” She held up a thick tome and began to flip through it quickly. “Sirens, sirens, sirens...yes! Okay...”
Pinkie seemed to almost bounce in place as Twilight went quiet. “Come on, some of us have no idea what these Meanie McMeanpants sirens are!”
“The sirens were three beautiful but dangerous magical creatures who had the power to charm ponies with their music…”
Alex peered at the mirror, staring at his reflection. “And this thing is a portal? See, I was expecting something like a Stargate, not something from a Barbie dream house.”
“I still think I should be able to go, Twilight. I’d feel bad if something happened and I wasn’t there for him.”
“Fluttershy, it’s going to be hard enough for me just saying he’s my little brother. The you over there just isn’t old enough to have adopted a child, and it would cause more problems and confusion in the long run.” Twilight argued logically about the situation. “And he needs to come with me so we can make sure the clothes fit. He already has the right kind of body, and if anything gets altered by the passage it’ll be easier for Rarity to resize something that isn’t twice as big as it needs to be.”
“Oh, plus I did show you how to do it as well, so that’s a bit off the top of the workload if it comes down to that.” Rarity was examining some of the fantastic illustrations in the book of old legends, and she gasped as she turned a page. “Oh, this book has Mistmane in it? That brings back some memories. Would you mind if I read through this, dear? I promise to be careful.”
“It’s a library, Rarity. Read all you like.”
“We ready to go or what?” Alex asked, looking over his shoulder. “I’ve sufficiently prepared myself for the uncanny valley and I’d like to get this show on the road.” Adding a smile, he regarded Fluttershy. “I’ll be fine. I got a weapon, remember?”
Fluttershy sighed as Alex reminded her about his ability to defend himself. “Alright, fine, but you listen to Twilight okay? I don’t want you risking yourself if there’s another, safer way.”
“Twilight! I found your bag of bits!” Spike came running back into the library with a decently-sized satchel in his claws, one which was held out to Twilight quickly as he caught his breath. “I still get to go with you, right? I know a couple of your friends would miss me if I wasn’t there.”
“Yes, Spike, you can still come. Now, experiment number one is in place, seeing if this will come with me or end up vanishing in the crossing, since we still don’t know everything about this portal.”
“Right.” Alex smiled at Fluttershy. “It's just high school. I've done it before, but, if it worries you that much, I'll stay close to our resident Pegacorn.” With that, he stepped through the portal without another word.
He has assumed that it would be something similar to his experience with the chest. He was wrong. There was no terror or panic, just a feeling of something passing over him before being booted out the other side like a train had hit him.
“Ow...” Alex vocalized his pain, having landed face first on concrete. “Thing’s a safety hazard...”
“You aren’t Twilight...are you a spy?” The voice was obviously that of Rainbow Dash, but before Alex could respond there was an unidentifiable sound followed by something connecting with his foot.
“Woah, woah, get him away from the portal, quick, Twilight’s coming through!” Spike’s voice was clear in Alex’s ears, but he could swear he felt four paws brush against him as Spike jumped over.
“I'm a Jesuit priest come to spread the word of Christ. Repent now, for War will follow in my wake,” Alex replied, pushing himself to his knees. To his dismay, he had a nose bleed. “Anyone got a tissue?”
A stark white hand with perfectly manicured nails painted pink was quickly held out. “Best get you away from the portal first, dear, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen any kind of priest so young, or wearing such a nice dress.”
“What dress?” Alex questioned, holding his nose with one hand and taking the extended hand with his other. “I don't wear dresses.”
Rarity pulled him easily to his feet, and her other hand held out a few tissues while her face held a look of confusion for a moment. “Oh, right, you’re from the pony side so you probably don’t even know what you look like here yet.”
“I know exactly what I look like; a character from a video game I had the misfortune to become.” Alex blinked at Rarity, quickly putting the tissues to his nose. “Wow, okay. You are by far the whitest person I've ever met. You’re like a living version of White Face Man.”
“I honestly don’t know how to take that.”
Another flash from the mirror preceded the arrival of Twilight, who must have run at the mirror at a full gallop after Alex and Spike, because she flew a good ten feet away from the base of the statue and landed on the grass of the school lawn instead. Everyone but Alex shouted out her name in unison and, with the exception of Rarity, ran over to help her up and give her a hug.
“Oh, we're so glad you're here!” Fluttershy spoke, holding Spike close to her chest. “We were worried you wouldn't be able to get back.”
“Ah, even if Book Horse couldn't open it, I got a key that unlocks anything,” Alex cut in, his voice a little nasally. “Then again, she'd probably yell at me for summoning a weapon.” He found no end to the amusement he could gather from their confused looks.
“Okay, Twilight, is there some reason your little sister, or whatever she is, isn’t making any sense whatsoever?” Rainbow Dash spoke up again, her gaze shifting from Twilight to Alex every few seconds. “And why is she dressed like a goth?”
“Oh, this is Alex. He’s not my sist...oh dear.” Twilight’s gaze finally seemed to register Alex and she couldn’t help but cringe a little. “Okay, it looks like some we have some explaining to do in both directions here...and some emergency clothes shopping to keep him sane while we’re both here in addition to the planned shopping later to give him some extra clothes to bring back with us.”
“What's wrong with my...” Alex's voice caught in his throat at the sight of his clothes. The mirror had fused his coat with the rest of his clothes; turning them into a gothic style dress that would have fit in well in an anime. All of the zippers and other metal pieces had even been turned into silvery lace embellishments that either served to accentuate his young figure in a tasteful way, or were in the shape of his standard keyblade. Even his protective gloves had been turned into long, opera-style gloves that went above the elbow, which helped since the sleeves of his jacket had turned into transparent veils. Wordlessly, he summoned up his Keyblade and hurled it at the horse statue above the portal. It cut clean through the stone neck before returning to his hand.
“Woah woah! What are you doing? You could have just damaged the portal!” A girl with pale yellow skin, wildly striped red and yellow hair, and wearing a black leather jacket over a fuscia shirt walked over to and stared down at him. The difference in height was maybe a foot or so.
“Sue me,” was Alex's response as he pushed past her. Dispelling his keyblade, Alex took in his surroundings. Everything just seemed so much more vibrant here. Colors popped, sound was crisp and clear. And yet some part of his mind nagged at him. Like this world was mocking him; presenting a warped version of the one he left.
“Sue you?” The mystery girl grabbed his shoulder, squeezing hard at first before her fingers quickly relaxed. “You..you could have just damaged your only way home for all we know. My only way home if I ever decided to go back. Twilight and Spike’s only way home! Was it really worth it to risk all that because you got a little angry over how you’re dressed on this side?” Her voice had started out quite angry, but became sad quickly, and she was clearly almost crying as she stopped talking.
Alex glared at her, keeping his voice level. “Lady, I've been turned into a fictional character, lost a decade of my life, and joined the fairer sex. Don't talk to me about 'a little angry.’” Pulling away from her, he put as much distance between himself and the group.
“Sunset, let him be for a while. Alex has some issues with his body and being stuck in a dress clearly isn’t helping.” Twilight spoke up while walking over to the base of the statue and carefully resting her hand against the surface. A loud sigh of relief accompanied a soft glow from the art piece as her hand slipped through easily. “We’re okay, though. It looks like minor damage to the upper part isn’t interfering with the connection between our worlds...yet.”
“In other words, get it repaired just in case, but there’s no immediate danger of not being able to go back. Got it.” Sunset let out her own sigh of relief at this good news. “Okay, why don’t we all go somewhere we can have a drink and relax a bit while we go over why I asked for your help?”
“Only if the drinks we can get are portable.” Twilight fumbled for a minute with her clothes before she managed to find the small purse that her satchel of bits had become. “Alex is going to need replacement clothes, and part of the reason he came here was for more clothes anyways. Male clothes, Rarity, or the closest we can get to them that will fit him.”
“Hmmm? Oh, yes, of course. I wasn’t plotting out a new fashion line of dresses for him to try or anything. I actually know someplace we could go that specializes in clothes like that, but it will require a bus ride to the center of the city.”
“Ah think’ that girl needs an attitude adjustment,” Applejack said, keeping an eye on Alex. “No problem gives ya the excuse to just up and break school property. Ya should send her to the farm for a month, we'll set her straight.”
“Applejack, he used to be a grown male, and something turned him into a teenage girl. He’s still coming to terms with what all of that means and he doesn’t really like anything feminine. I think you’d feel a little angry and uncomfortable yourself if someone suddenly put you in Big Mac’s body.”
“Oh, so he’s a bit like Rarity’s cousin, then?” Fluttershy spoke up at last, but shrank back behind her hair at a glare from Rarity.
“Growing up in the wrong body versus being suddenly thrust into one is a bit different, Fluttershy, but I can see how the nuance is lost on those who didn’t have someone in their own family go through such a thing.”
“We do anything or what?” Alex called back, throwing his hands up. “I'm standing here like a jackass while you and the power rangers have a powwow. Not a fun time!”
“Why don’t we just get to the bus stop so we can get where we need to go before little miss P.M.S. throws another fit and cuts someone’s car in half or something?”
“Rainbow Dash! There’s simply no need to be so utterly uncouth! Honestly, have you no sense of decorum?”
“Girls!” Twilight raised her voice, frowning deeply. “I realize Alex didn't make the best first impression but can we please not antagonize him? There's no reason to refer to him in a disparaging way.”
“Let’s just go before someone else says something we’ll all regret…” Sunset led the way to the nearest bus stop, taking her time to apologise to Alex on the way there about grabbing him.
The bus ride had been awkward but the group managed to get through it. Sunset’s apology had cooled Alex's head and sparked his own apology about the statue. Sitting next to Twilight, he tapped away at his tablet, engrossed in a Final Fight emulator.
Rarity leaned in from the seat behind his as they began to approach their destination. “Alex, just so you know, there’s going to be a fair bit of measurement involved when we get there so that they can pick out a selection of things that will fit you while also making you more comfortable. Had you thought about if you wanted to have, erm, compression for control, or more traditional support despite the fact that most see that as more feminine regardless of needing it or not?”
Alex blinked, looking at Rarity like she had grown a second head. Hagger grunted, letting out a death cry as Alex game overed due to his inaction. “I have no idea what you just asked me.”
“For your breasts, dear. Did you think about a compression top to minimize them, or did you want to stick with a brassiere despite that being more traditionally feminine?” The look on her face is utterly serious, but has a genuine level of concern to it that had only been shown by Fluttershy back home before. “I mean, I assume you’re still growing and all, but it’s a valid question.”
“I... That's honestly not something I've thought of.” Alex glanced down, eyeing up his chest. ”Not like there's much there now is there?” Looking back up at Rarity, he found the situation too surreal to be embarrassed. “Uh... What would you recommend?”
“Sticking with a bra for now would be my suggestion. Rosew-Jasper and I grew up together and he complained about chest pain so much when wearing compression tops around your age. I assume you’re, what, thirteen-ish?”
“Fourteen,” Alex corrected, sliding the device back into his pocket. “Guess bras it is.” He mentally frowned, bothered by the fact that that didn't seem to bother him all that much.
“I’m sure there will be something nice and plain there for you. The selection at Our Little Secret has always been impressively broad.”
“Right, good good.” Sitting back, Alex gazed into his lap. “Sooo... Your cousin, huh?””
“What? Surely you didn’t think you were the only person to ever have a problem like this, did you? I mean, even if it’s almost unheard-of back home, well…”
“Hey, I was just curious. Of course I know people with dysphoria exist,” Alex said, looking at her again. “Nevermind, it's probably too personal.”
“Wait, were you trying to imply that it was really me?” Rarity giggled for a few seconds. “Honestly, it’s not a horribly flawed assumption, but you’d be wrong. I’m perfectly happy as the woman I was born to be, but Jasper...he had some severe issues early on. Poor boy almost killed himself after his first period.”
“I wasn't implying it was you, but nice show of narcissism.” With a smile, he gave her a thumbs up. “I meant your cousin probably doesn't want you blabbing something so personal to someone he doesn't know. Glad he got better though.” He didn't feel the need to comment further and dredge up old demons.
“He’d understand if it helped someone in a similar position.” Rarity stood up as the bus came to a stop this time, signaling to the others that they were near their destination. “Pinkie, would you mind picking up some drinks for us at the nearest cafe? You know what we all like except Alex.”
“I'd ask for some hard vodka but, minor and all.” Alex rose up, cracking his joints. “Just a root beer, thanks.” Stepping off the bus, he felt a little out of place in a world of pastel colored humans. “I feel, very, very overdressed.”
“We can get that fixed quickly Alex, just stay calm and everything will be fine.” Twilight tried to sound as reassuring as possible as the six of them followed Rarity to the store she knew while Pinkie skipped off in a different direction to fetch some refreshments for the group.
“Okay, look. I appreciate the concern but I'm not hysterical. Spending a few more minutes dressed like this isn't going to send me into a fit of murderous rage,” Alex protested, crossing his arms. “You don't have to treat me like glass.”
“Y’all threw a giant skeleton key and cut the head off a statue just because yer wearin’ a dress. That’s a shorter fuse than even Sunset ever showed...no offense.”
“Ugh, none taken.”
“Yes, I get it. Bad move. Can we drop it?” He questioned, pouting. “Let's just do what we came to do and move into your fishmen problem.”
Rarity rolled her eyes and pushed open the door the the store before waving for the others to head on inside. “Welcome to Our Little Secret, the store that caters to your personal clothing needs no matter what body type you want, or have.”
“Is that Rarity’s voice I hear? Are you bringing in a new customer or is that cousin of yours back in town?” A melodic voice came from somewhere near the back of the store, though it had a slightly rough edge to it. All kinds of styles were on display once the inside was visible, but the drawn curtains allowed for total privacy inside the store. “Show whoever it is around, dear and I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Do you think they have anything for someone who wants to be a tree?” Fluttershy asked. It took her a moment to realize she had spoken. “Oh my...” She hid behind her bangs, blushing furiously.
“There's a term for that, but I don't know it.” Alex shuddered, imaging just what his Fluttershy and Discord get up to in their room. “Yup, I'm asking for brain bleach when I got home. That thought disturbs me greatly. Rarity, please. Begin the fashion montage.”
Rarity blinked, but quickly smiled and began showing Alex around the store and at the various different fashions of clothing that were available. She was soon joined by another similarly white-skinned woman with a red and white striped mohawk and some intricate ‘tribal’ tattoos on every visible body part.
“Hello dear, my name’s Custom Fit. Let’s get you measured up so we know what sizes to pull for you, okay? Wouldn’t want to try squeezing you into a waist five inches too small by mistake.”
Taking a breath, Alex nodded. “Measure away.” It wasn't anything weird, he assured himself. Just a professional doing their job. ‘Don’t overreact to this. You've already screwed the pooch with the statue. You're an adult, act like it’.
Custom Fit and Rarity both took him into a rather spacious private booth for this, one obviously designed for at least one observer to head off any claims of impropriety. Rarity also helped him take off the dress for accuracy and quickly ran out to grab a few unisex shirts and pants that matched the measurements so gained, while Custom simply left him alone in there after getting those measurements, standing just outside the booth and waiting.
Things became a bit of a whirlwind as Rarity zipped from the booth with Alex back to various sections and used his reactions to what was brought back to determine what to bring back next time. “Are you absolutely sure you wouldn’t like some brighter colors? This shade of yellow would really help your eyes pop, and it is a masculine cut.”
Sighing, Alex shook his head. “At this point, I just don't care.” Eyes shifting conspiratorially, he motioned her closer. “Can I be a bit honest with you?”
Rarity leaned in and whispered back. “On matters like this, dear, my lips are sealed tighter than Vice Principal Luna’s office after hours.”
No words left Alex's throat for some time. He almost told her to forget it before he let out a derisive scoff. ‘Are you afraid of admitting it to her or yourself?’ Shaking his head, he leaned in closer. “I-I kind of like... The dress...”
“Well, I wasn’t about to throw it away on you, dear. I assume it looked like something else back home and is of some value to you, sentimentally at least if nothing else. Oh...unless you meant that...hmmm.” One finger was pressed to her lips for a moment before she zipped out of the room and came back a few seconds later with a handful of similarly elegant dresses and gowns in various colors.
“Holy crap, Rares! If I’d known you could run that fast I’d have asked you to sign up for the track team this year.” Dash whistled from outside the room before knocking. “Got a sec to talk, or is the little guy still busy deciding what he wants?”
“Poke your head in and it’ll be my boot you eat, not his key. Private room, Rainbow Dash.”
“Okay, okay, yeesh. Sorry.”
Taking one of the offered dresses into his hands, Alex turned it over. “Yellow huh?”
“You just pick out what you like, and I’ll cover anything that you don’t want Twilight to know about, okay? Now, let me see about the other essentials.” Rarity slipped back out of the room and left Alex alone with his thoughts and the various clothes he’d approved of so far.
In the end, Alex left the store with a bunch of clothing bags filled with various shirts, pants, underwear, and everything else except spare shoes. There were enough bags that everyone was carrying at least two, which helped disguise the fact that the two extra bags Rarity had were also for Alex as they would all end up mixed together at some point anyways. The bus ride back to Canterlot High gave them a chance to talk about the siren situation as well as enjoy the cocoas, coffees, or sodas that Pinkie had purchased for them.
The group finally hunkered down in the music room. A most fitting place to talk about stopping magical songstresses. Alex took a seat next to a cello, absentmindedly strumming the cords. Twilight's voice snapped him to attention, though he plucked one last string.
“Now that we're settled, we can get everyone caught up.” Twilight pulled over the chalkboard, grabbing a stick of chalk. “Who wants to start?”
“Three girls with spike fetishes randomly showed up at our school and started a fight in the cafeteria while singing about turning the band talent show into a battle of the bands. Then we went to principal Celestia and both she and vice-principal Luna acted strangely robotic after we asked them about the three new girls. Then I wrote in my old book to get Princess Celestia to contact you.” Sunset offered a succinct summary of everything so far on their end.
“Oooh! Don’t forget all the weird pony stuff that happens when we have band practice!” Pinkie offered, jumping up and down. “We get the ears and the hair extensions and Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash get wings!!”
“Oh, right, I have a kick-ass video of mine from when I thrashed Trixie in a shred-off contest at a guitar shop. You gotta see this!” Rainbow Dash pulled her phone out and quickly found the recording to show to Twilight.
“Wait, you girls were able to draw on that power without me being here with the element of magic? This raises all kinds of questions.” Twilight thought for a few seconds. “Wait, does it only happen when you’re playing music? I mean, I can’t even go back home and grab the element anymore, so this is important.”
Sunset paled at this, staring at Twilight in shock. “You lost the elements?”
“No? I know exactly where they are, they’re just...kinda keeping the Tree of Harmony alive now.” Twilight tittered slightly, poking her pointer fingers together. “We shouldn’t need them. I have a few ideas on how to deal with the sirens.”
“Don’t be singing, don’t be singing, don’t be singing.” Alex muttered under his breath while holding his face in his hands. Memories of a horrible minigame swam to the surface of his thoughts.
“A musical counterspell!” Twilight declared, pointing to the board. “If harmonic magic is still inside each of you, we should be able to create a song infused with that magic. It’ll cancel out whatever magic the sirens are working.”
“Objection!” Alex stood up quickly, pointing at Twilight. “They already said that they transform when they play music, so we know they already have songs that can cause them to do this. Have you ever once written a song before, Twilight? It’s hard.” He spun in place and pointed at Pinkie. “Dangerous levels of Pink energy, when is the battle?”
“Everything except the finals is supposed to be tomorrow afternoon, and then the finals are the following evening in the town amphitheater.” Pinkie replied instantly, a wide smile on her face.
“Their old songs won’t do, Alex, this has to be something that draws the full force of their magic out,” Twilight explained, quickly drawing an eye-crossing diagram on the board. “It has to resonate with each of us for it to work.”
“So why not look through a book of their songs to see if you can find one that you like instead of trying to perfect a brand-new song in less than a day? I can guarantee that one of these things will go poorly while the other has a good chance of working.”
“I have a few songs we haven’t played before, so they’d be just as new to the others…” Fluttershy said quietly. “M-maybe we could use one of those?”
“There you go, a few songs already made and practically gift-wrapped for practicing for the competition.” Alex smiled and waved in Fluttershy’s direction.
“I dunno, the songs have to be awesome to really bring out the power, and Fluttershy’s songs are good and all, but I think we’d be better off with Twilight’s plan, squirt.”
“Kid, I’m older than you by a good ten years,” Alex deadpanned, leveling a flat stare at her.
“Okay, okay, both y’all simmer down. Whatever song we end up playin’ we can practice at mah family’s farm. That way the Dazzlings won’t know what hit ‘em.” Applejack looked over at Twilight, then leveled a glare towards Rarity. “That sound good, or a little too ‘rustic’ for one of us?”
“As long as my costumes aren’t too ‘fancy’, then I can bear with it,” Rarity replied, checking on her nails. “I insist on each of us looking our best if we’re going to be in front of so many people.”
“You know, I could just beat them up with my big key.” Alex resummoned his keyblade, holding it up. “Probably a lot easier than being a band. Just sayin’.”
“Let’s keep that as a backup plan in case everything else fails. I’d rather our first option not be ‘resort to violence because it’s easier than the alternative.’” Twilight motioned carefully with one hand. “That being said, if you could try to get some information from them without being found out, that might be good.”
“Uhhh, Twilight? We’re supposed to be taking care of him, not sending him alone into the arms of the enemy hoping he’ll come back unharmed. Did that fall through the portal rattle your head a little too much?” Spike scratched at an itch behind his ear as he brought up a glaring flaw in that plan.
“I’ll be fine,” Alex assured, resting his keyblade on his shoulder. “Look, I get it. I’ve got problems and I look like a kid. You don’t have to keep treating me like one outside of not breaking the law. Just tell me where the Hex Girls hang out and I’ll see about I can find out.”
“Okay, does anypony know where they hang out?”
“How would we know that? They’re almost as new to this school as Alex is.”
“I heard them say something about using room 34B for things, but that was before we waited to see if there was going to be a response to Sunset’s note, and all the clothes shopping...” Pinkie went from perky to monotone as she listed the various things that could mean this was no longer useful information. “Ohh, but if we hurry we can make it to the pre-contest gathering for one last chance to see if our other friends are back to normal!”
“Doubt it, the Dazzlings are probably going to show up and rile them up,” Alex got up, moving towards the door. “I’ll head to 34B and see what’s up. Just uh, tell me how to get there.”
“Take a right out of here, and it’ll be the seventh door on your left down the third corridor on your right.” Rainbow Dash recited from memory without even pausing to think. “What, why are you all staring at me? Room 34B used to be where all the team captains would work on new strategies before last year when we actually got a designated room for that. It’s the closest classroom to the gym.”
“I’ll uh... see you guys later.” Taking his leave, Alex moved down the halls of Canterlot High. “What the hell is wrong with me? So many things going on in my head. I’m lucky I’m not a sobbing wreck of a person.”
Taking a breath, he slowly let it out. “Just stay calm, okay? Even if you look like Xion, you’re still you, no matter what anyone thinks or says. You’re Alex Lionheart, no one else.” Alex repeated the mantra a few times more, doing his best to memorize it.
“Hi there, Alex Lionheart! Whatcha doin’?” A perky voice very much like Pinkie’s said from right behind him.
Alex jumped, having to fight the instinct to summon his weapon. “Jesus! Don’t sneak up on me!” He whirled around, chest heaving and wide eyed.
“Um, nope. I’m Sonata, not ‘Jesus.’” A tall girl with pale blue skin responded, smiling broadly and holding both a plastic cup and a jug of what looked like apple juice. “I also wasn’t sneaking; you were just so busy talking to yourself that you didn’t hear me.”
“Yeah, I know you’re not Jesus. You have too much chest fat for that. What’s up with the jug? You playing waitress?”
“Oh, this? I was heading back to the party to add some of this to balance out the grape juice I used in the punch earlier, but I kinda got lost.” She giggled while looking around. “You wouldn’t be able to point me to the auditorium, would you?”
“Uh, yeah, I got directions.” Alex nodded, starting to lead her. “Catering huh? Hows that working out for ya? School giving you extra credit or whatever that kinda thing is?”
“Oh, no, but I figured making some good punch could make up for the fact that my sisters and I convinced the students and principal here to make this a battle of the bands instead of just a showcase. I never really did like competition, but it does tend to get the best results.”
Alex’s mouth pushed into an ‘o’ shape. ‘Wow. Okay. I’m totally the bumble king. Walked right into the lion’s den with this one’. “Battle of the bands sounds fun. Nothing wrong with some competition.”
“Are you part of a band, or someone with no real talent who just wants to listen in?” She seemed oblivious to how utterly insulting that kind of statement was, as if music was the only talent worth having.
“Who wants to know?” Alex questioned, straightening his back. “Are you a corporate spy, Sonata?”
“Me? A spy?” She laughed outright, and actually leaned against a locker for a few seconds. “I was just wondering since you seem real calm and all. Everyone’s been kinda on-edge the last couple days it seems.”
“Of course I’m calm, I’m the uh... daughter of Black Bolt. If I were to show off my talents, the whole town would be leveled,” Alex spoke, trying to imitate what he could recall as ‘proper ladylike walking form’.
“Wow, I don’t think they’d let you bring your dad’s amps in, but that’s a pretty good point.” Sonata nodded sagely. “It’d be kinda unfair to blow the competition away just because they can’t afford the best equipment out there.”
Alex blinked, a dumbfounded look on his face. ‘That is not how I expected that to go but uh, it’s better than selling the idea of super people living on the moon’ “Well of course. I’m merely here to see if any of these plebs have real talent.”
Sonata blinked and turned to look back at Alex. “Wait...you’re scouting for talent? I thought you were a student here?” She squinted and seemed lost in thought before nodding once more. “I get it, daddy sent you here to see if there were any student bands that might be worth signing to a deal. Got any ideas on who might be in the lead, or is that something you think might be unfair to tell another competitor?” “I don’t engage in leaking confidential material, Sonata,” Alex said firmly, turning his nose up at her. “I’m insulted that you assumed I would.”
“Eeep!” Sonata couldn’t help letting out a squeak of panic at that. “Please don’t let that weigh into your decision. My sisters and I are super talented, and we could really use the help of someone like you if we win. We could even get the whole world to listen to our songs!”
“Oh?” Alex inquired, eyeing Sonata with an appraising eye. “Please go on, I’d love to hear this.”
“Well, I just meant that if you could score us an album deal after we win it would mean that everyone in the world could hear our music, then we’d really be big.”
“I’ll have to see for myself,” Alex dismissed, a little disturbed by how easily this was coming to him. “You can introduce me to your sisters, first off.”
“Oh, that’ll be easy. I’m sure they’re still in the auditorium hanging out and enjoying a snack. You’re sure we’re going the right way, right? I must have really gotten lost.”
“Of course we are. Why, we’ve even reached our destination.” Spotting a pair of double doors labelled ‘gym’, Alex pushed his way in. Much like the rest of the world, it was crammed full of multicolored humans, all muttering amongst themselves.
Sonata looked around, then pointed over to one corner where a massive puff of orange and yellow hair could be seen. “That’s Adagio for sure, and Aria’s probably hidden by her hair from here. Let me go add this to the punch and then I’ll introduce you, ‘kay?” Sonata almost walked away without waiting for an answer, but quickly froze in place again as she remembered who she was with and how important this could be.
“Are you sure you want to let this wait?” Alex asked, making a show of taking his phone out. “There are so many other acts to observe and scout.”
“I-I, um, oh alright, I’ll worry about the punch later, come on.” She hastily made her way over to Adagio and Aria, clearing her throat as she closed in. “Hey girls, you’re never going to guess who I ran into in the halls.”
“Someone with a brain?” A gruff voice grunted. “Because that would actually make you useful for once.”
“Now now, Aria, maybe our dear sister actually stumbled across someone important without us telling her to for once.” A much smoother voice responded, one that sounded like there was no way the owner belonged in high school. That mass of hair shifted quickly, revealing the face of the person underneath it all to be just as yellow as her highlights. “So, how about you introduce us to your young friend?”
“Adagio, Aria, this is Alex Lionheart. She’s the daughter of Black Bolt, the guy who owns the company that makes the best speakers and amplifiers in the entire world, and that makes her mother the owner of Chrysalis Records. She’s here scouting talent and I thought that she could help us score a nice record deal if we win the contest!” Sonata stepped aside to show Alex off to her sisters, then swept her hands in the other direction. “Alex, these are my sisters Adagio Dazzle,” one hand indicated the yellow woman with the crazy hair, “and Aria Blaze,” her other hand moved to indicate the purple-skinned girl with striped pigtails. “The three of us are The Dazzlings!”
Alex frowned, eyeing them with feigned indifference. “Just this little meeting, I can see one of you never left the 80s and the other watched one too many grunge music videos.”
Adagio’s eye twitched at the comment, but Aria let out a short laugh with her harsh voice. “Nice, nice. I like your style, kid, cut right to the point.”
“Yes, well, comments about my hair aside you’ll find we’re one of the strongest groups in this school. We’ve been practicing our singing for years, and I swear some of these people only even formed a band the minute it became a competition.” Adagio smiled wide as she looked down at Alex. “I have been thinking about changing my style, but nobody seems willing to touch hair this magnificent.”
“I like a woman who has style, even if it went out with disco,” Alex shot back, smoothing out his dress. “If you’re so confident in your skills, then you won’t mind giving me a demonstration.” H
Adagio’s eyes gleamed evilly at the suggestion. “Oh absolutely, but let’s go somewhere else first, shall we? The acoustics in here would be just horrible with all these other, squabbling people.”
“Yeah, they’re arguing so much you’d think there was something wrong with the party.” Aria snickered at her own little joke.
“It’s the punch isn’t it? I knew there was too much grape juice!”
“Forget the punch, Sonata, we have a big opportunity here and we’re not going to waste it. Let’s go.”
“Agreed, my time is precious, girls, and I would hate to waste it.” Letting the threat hang, Alex made his way to the door. ‘Okay, it’s getting a little scary I’m so good at this. Why couldn’t I have been this good back in my actual high school days?’
Sonata sputtered for a moment, but held onto the bottle of apple juice as she and her sisters began following Alex out of the gym. “So, uh, what style is your mother looking for with the new band? I mean, we can changes clothes easily an-”
“Sonata, why don’t we wait until we’ve at least given our demonstration? You know we’re going to end up being a smash hit anyways.”
“That’s for my mother and I to decide,” Alex snapped, glaring over his shoulder. “Do keep that in mind, won’t you?”
“Oh of course. I apologise for being so presumptuous. Please, lead the way.” Adagio was still smiling as she walked behind Alex. Aria muttered something under her breath as they got close to the door, though.
“What was that?” Alex questioned, turning his glare to Aria. “Care to speak up?”
“Nothing, just still a little hungry is all. Didn’t get enough to eat in there, but I’m sure I’ll get another chance to eat in a bit.” There was a surliness to her voice that helped her sound completely serious.
“I do hope your hunger doesn’t affect your performance. I’d hate for you to let your one opportunity for greatness to slip aw-” Alex stumbled back, falling on his ass. Looking up, he was greeted by Sunset Shimmer and the rainbooms.
Adagio gasped and reached down to help Alex up. “Watch it, you oafs! This young lady is the heiress to two musical empires! Her dress is probably worth thousands of dollars and you’ve just made her get it dirty!”
“Uh... sorry?” Sunset offered, stepping back at Alex’s glare. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
“That’s quite obvious. It leaves me to wonder what else escapes your pitiful attention span.” Brushing his dress off, Alex pushed past them. “Now if you excuse me, I have places to be. Come along, girls.”
Adagio took note of the faces of the girls they’d bumped into, sending each of them a pointed glare as she walked past the group. Sonata waved with a smile, and Aria just flipped them off with both hands held high. “Later, losers.”
After a few minutes of walking, Adagio suggested a smaller music classroom that they were passing would be perfect rather than heading to one of the larger practice rooms that were used for theater, art, or student bands after school. “It’s not like we need instruments to impress you with our singing.”
“If you insist,” Alex conceded, stepping into the room. Taking a moment to note the layout, he took a seat behind the teacher’s desk. It was then he realized he had gotten himself alone with three magical creature who were all bigger than him.
Aria flipped the lock on the door as she stepped in last, and her face was set in a frown as she crossed her arms over her stomach, standing right in front of the doorknob. “Alright pipsqueak, game over. You might have fooled Sonata easily enough, but not all of us have a pufferfish for a brain.”
“Hey!”
“Indeed, thank you for reading my mind, Aria.” Adagio’s voice still sounded smooth and controlled as she strutted over to the desk and placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “You see, the heir of those two media empires is in his twenties, not a little teenage girl just out of her first training bra. I will admit your dress is quite nice, but you’re going to start talking or we’re going to start breaking bones.”
“Oh yes, I’m totally afraid of a trio of high schoolers who don’t even know what decade they’re in. Do you spend a long time getting those looks, Dee Snider, or were you born in drag?”
“I guess we are going to have to do this the fun way after all, since you aren’t intimidated by threats of harm.” Adagio lifted her hand to the jeweled choker at her throat, which glimmered and began producing a low tone, followed by a simple drum beat. “Which will it be, dear? Spill the beans now, or as a puppet of ours in a few minutes?”
Aria brushed her gem as well, which began a series of bass notes. “Why not just scream loud enough to make her head pop? We haven’t done something that fun in centuries.”
“Wait, what? No, nonono, I like her!” Sonata whimpered as she looked between her sisters and then down at Alex. “Y-you lied to me? I thought I was actually getting along with someone for once…”
“Go back to sleep, Sonata.”
Alex frowned, looking between the gems. “I didn’t lie. My name is Alex Lionheart, as for my situation, well, my father isn’t all that proud of me. Let’s just say that it’s a body issue.”
“Very well, young lady.” Adagio stepped back and began singing. A pointed look was sent to Sonata to remind the youngest siren to join in. “First things first, I’mma say all the words inside my head.”
Aria joined in quickly, her voice melding with Adagio’s perfectly at the start of the next line. “I’m fired up and tired of the way that things have been.”
The two of them crooned together in a perfect dark harmony, and the rubies at their throats began to glow and emit a thoroughly evil light.. “Oh ooh, the way that things have been. Oh ooh.”
Sonata stroked her own and joined in with an angry bite to her otherwise sweet voice as her gem produced some subtle guitar notes. “Second thing second, don't you tell me what you think that I can be. I'm the one at the sail! I'm the master of my sea, oh ooh, the master of my sea! Oh ooh!”
Alex frowned, the words crawling into his ear like a worm. He opened his hand to summon Aubade, only to find that it slipped through his hand like so much sand. “G-get out...” he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut.
The three girls closed in as they continued singing, each one of them taking a moment to gently brush a hand against his shoulder, or through is hair to give just that extra contact for the magic to worm its way in more effectively. Soon all efforts to resist seemed like a waste of time, and he fell under their sway.
“Alex? You in there?” Rainbow Dash’s voice followed a loud knock on the door of the classroom as Alex woke up with a start. The doorknob turned easily, and the sporty older teen let out a relieved sigh as she spotted him, sticking her head back out the door. “Found him! Looks like he was asleep in here!”
“Was I asleep?” Alex questioned, rubbing his head. “My head feels kinda... fuzzy...” Sitting up, he wiped a line of drool off his cheek. “I didn’t worry you girls too much, did I?”
“Eh, a little bit. Twilight was all concerned about you going off alone with them after a few minutes, and convinced the rest of us that we should start looking for you once it’d been half an hour.” Rainbow Dash snickered a little, and offered a kleenex to help him wipe his face dry. “Their singing was so bad it put you to sleep huh? Least it didn’t zombify you.”
“We can’t know that for sure, Rainbow.” Twilight rushed in and knelt down next to Alex. “Are you feeling okay? Any sudden aggression or urge to compete like the other students have shown?”
“Psh, yeah, like sudden aggression is abnormal for him.” Rainbow Dash muttered.
“No, I feel fine,” Alex assure, giving her a bright smile. “Sorry if I worried you. I probably should have thought through my plan a bit more than not at all.”
“Wait, what?” Both Rainbow Dash and Twilight spoke in unison at Alex’s response to Rainbow’s taunt.
“Okay, yeah, they got to him I think.” Rainbow stated flatly. “Last time one of us brought it up he flipped out so hard even I thought he was on the rag.”
“Err, right, whatever that means. We need to get going and hope it’s nothing too serious, even if he is acting unusual. He can be our test case for the counterspell.”
“Twilight, I’m fine really.” Alex rose to his feet, brushing his dress off. “You worry too much,” he giggled, moving past her. “Though, I suppose that’s what Mom would want you to do.”
“Okay, now I’m worried. That’s the first time he’s called Fluttershy ‘Mom.’”
“Well, she is my mom now isn’t she?” Alex questioned, brushing his bangs out of his face. “Shouldn’t I call her that?”
“Fluttershy’s your mother?!” Rainbow Dash yelled in surprise, caught completely off-guard by that.
“W-wha, b-but I..I…” Fluttershy stuttered timidly for a few seconds, her face going from yellow to crimson before she slumped against a set of lockers and started to fall over.
Applejack raced forward to catch her. “Consarnit, Rainbow Dash. Say it again, and louder this time. Ah don’t think they heard ya at Crystal Prep!”
“Honestly, Applejack, no one is going to believe Alex is Fluttershy’s child. He’s only a few years younger than her. Anyone who would believe that isn’t that bright,” Rarity spoke, roaring her eyes.
“Y’mean like when Snips an’ Snails convinced yer sister they’d gotten her-”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence!” Rarity was in front of Applejack’s face within moments, but she backed down quickly and took a few breaths. “Sweetie Belle is still upset about that prank, and it’s a sore subject for me as well. Anyways...let’s just all go home so we can head to Pinkie’s for that slumber party she offered us.”
“Never been to a slumber party,” Alex mused quietly, clasping his hands behind his back. “Never even had a sleep over...” he stared off into space for a moment before cringing as if being struck. “Always wanted to though.”
Rarity stared at Alex for a few seconds, then cringed and looked over at Twilight. “Did...did you find him like this? Did those...those things do this to him?”
“I think so,” Twilight said, sighing heavily. “I can only begin to imagine what happened in this room. I don’t think they hurt him physically but, there's no doubt in my mind that they used their song on him.”
“Right, well...we need to try putting our differences aside and get that counterspell done. For Alex as much as for the rest of the school.” She offered Twilight a smile and turned to lead the way out, expecting the rest to follow.
Sunset came up behind Twilight, clearing her throat to avoid startling her. “Hey, um, look, I know this whole situation just got a bit more dire and personal and all, but the girls, there’s been some problems between them lately. Maybe tonight you should try focusing on snapping Alex out of this so there’s one less thing on your mind. A counterspell can’t be that hard if you finished something Starswirl started, right? I’ll try a few things to see if I can get them back together again, that way we can get a strong start tomorrow.”
Twilight frowned, studying Sunset’s face. “What do you mean by ‘problems’? Anything I can help with?”
“Maybe? I’m not entirely sure, but there’s been some infighting regarding the band, Dash’s ego, and the amount of contribution each of them feels like they should be making. Fluttershy’s written some great songs, but Dash refuses to try any of them. Rarity keeps wanting to try new stage costumes so they have a unique look, but Applejack keeps shooting them down just because they aren’t all that practical. Fluttershy and Rarity are both feeling stifled and shut down, and none of this is helped by Dash calling it her band when it was supposed to be a group activity...a fun thing for them to do to make sure they stayed together after you fixed the friendship I shattered.”
Stepping closer, Twilight pulled her into a hug. “Sunset, it’s okay. We’ll fix this together. This slumber party is the perfect opportunity to address these issues. Trust me, I know these things.”
“Alright, if you say so. Just, focus on Alex first, okay?” She took a step back from the hug and slowly looked Twilight up and down. “Let’s make a stop at my place. You and I look like we’re about the same size, so I probably have something that’ll fit you for the sleepover.”
“Ehehehe, right. I keep forgetting about clothes.” Twilight tittered, poking her fingers together.
“It’s fine. It took me a few days to get used to it, and that was living here constantly.” She looked down to Alex and sighed. “He’s being way too quiet, but I’m sure Rarity picked out some sleepwear for him too. Still can’t believe the lot only cost about five bits worth. Let’s go grab his haul from the music room and get going.”
Twilight nodded, sighing a little. “Fluttershy would never forgive me if anything happened to him.” She followed after Sunset, her eyes and thoughts on Alex. She had to fix this. She had to stop the sirens.
Rarity, somehow, paled as Alex stepped out of Pinkie’s bathroom in the pink nightgown covered in lace and flower patterns that she’d picked out for one of his ‘secret indulgences.” “O-oh dear. It looks like the clothes I picked out for Sweetie Belle must have gotten mixed in with the ones I helped Alex pick out. I-err, It looks good on you?”
“Okay, just so I have this straight, on the other side of the mirror you’re in your mid-twenties, and so are all of us, and your Fluttershy adopted Alex to save him from being studied and violated for science? Go Fluttershy.” Dash hugged the human Fluttershy, who had recovered relatively quickly, but demanded answers.
“Thanks, Rarity.” Alex twirled, all bright smiles and giggles. “I like it a lot!”
“Well, you can keep it if you like it. It wasn’t cheap, but I’m not so strapped for cash I can’t spare a gift or two.” She pulls him into a hug, but looked at the others with a strained expression on her face.
Twilight cleared her throat, and clapped her hands. “So! Uh, how about we do something... fun? How’s that sound to everyone?”
“I brought a video game we can play! It’s only two at a time though, but it’ll still be fun.” Rainbow Dash offered, unzipping the duffel bag she’d brought with her. “Pinkie, you have a TV in your room, right?”
“Of course I do! How else could I watch all those stand up specials?” Pinkie giggled, poking Dash’s nose. “What a silly question, Dashie.”
Alex cringed, bringing a hand to his head. “W-what kind of game is it?”
“Bloody Roar 6! It’s a fighting game about people who have the power to turn into animals!”
“Trust you to bring a competitive game to a relaxing slumber party.”
“Uh, Rarity, all games are competitive, unless they’re the kind that don’t need to have a winner. Alex is...a bit young for those, and we’re all girls here.”
“Dash has a point, an’ Ah guess Ah could go a round or two on that game with ya.”
“Y-yeah... it’s too much for me...” Alex agreed, stepping back from Rarity. “I-I think I’ll just fiddle with my tablet.”
Sunset gently nudged Twilight. “I have an idea. Why don’t we let Dash and Applejack play the game, so we can see if anyone else is interested. In the meantime, Rarity can help the rest of us with some makeup tips we might not know, but she could have picked up from some models? That way we have a fun thing for everyone, even if it’s not the same thing for everyone at the same time.”
“That’s an excellent idea, Sunset.” Twilight nodded vigorously. “Alex, you and I can talk a bit, if that’s alright with you. I have a few questions you might be able to answer for me.”
“Hmmm?” Alex looked up at Twilight. “I’m not sure I really can, but I’ll try if that’s what you think would be best.” He smiled as he brushed his bangs to the side. “What are they about? You know I’m not that far in your schools yet. I only started yesterday.”
Pinkie popped up between them, wrapping her arms around them. “You two can use the back balcony! It’s a pretty warm night and the stars are looking really pretty!”
Twilight couldn’t completely silence her surprised shout as she took a step back from Pinkie. “I will never understand how you can still do that without magic, Pinkie... but thank you. The privacy will help, and so will the fresh air.”
“Down the hall and to the left,” Pinkie instructed, pushing them towards the direction of their destination. “And silly, Twilight. I know one day you’ll understand my ways.”
Twilight shivered and put an arm around Alex’s shoulder and began to guide him by following Pinkie’s directions. “Okay, I need you to tell me everything you can about keyblades. Apparently yours used to belong to Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna has one too.”
“Really? That’s surprising.” Alex blinked, though considered a moment. “I guess that does make sense, Aubade is sunrise themed.”
“It does look like it has half a sun attached to the tip.” Twilight smiled as she opened the balcony door and took a deep breath. “Luna said the name of her blade is Missing Ache, and it looked like lt had a bunch of stars on it. I should be able to summon it after the ceremony she performed, but I don’t quite know how to do it.”
Alex tilted his head. “Twilight, that’s not how that works. If you had the ceremony performed on you, you’d manifest your own. You wouldn’t be able to summon Luna’s unless she passed it down to you.”
“Oh? I must have misunderstood what she said then. That’s not surprising, really. Celestia has always had difficulty being direct about things, and Luna was being a bit mysterious as well about the whole thing.” She closed her eyes and chuckled softly. “She did praise me for having the same objections she did as a filly to the names of the Nobodies and the Heartless.”
Giggling, Alex took a seat at the small table on the balcony. “Well, you better take notes, because this is kind of a long story.”
“Actually, I really want to mostly know about the keyblades themselves. What can they do, how do you summon one yourself, that kind of thing. Could I, say, use one to get rid of the writer’s block I have for the counterspell?” She giggled nervously, and poked her fingers together after placing a notebook and pen on the same table.
“Well no, but you could use one to unlock anything.” Leaning back, Alex looked up at the sky. “But, if I’m going to tell you about them, I have to tell you about their history and connection to Kingdom Hearts.”
“Alright, that’s fair enough I supposed, since I ‘condemned’ you to learning Equestrian history.” She teased, but not in a mean way. “How was your... nevermind. We can talk about less important things later.”
Alex nodded, taking a breath before beginning. “A long time ago, all the worlds were one and that world was bathed in light. The source of that light was Kingdom Hearts; a heart shaped moon that all hearts spawn from. Acting as both its key and protector, the X-blade was the only thing that could summon it.”
“Okay, first question: if this moon was the source of all light, why would it go away and need to be summoned, oh, and could any keyblade summon it?” Twilight asked sincerely, then looked up. “Or would you prefer I write down things I have questions about so you can answer when we’re done?”
“Oh, right, reality doesn’t have subtitles...” Alex giggled. “No, Twilight, only one thing could summon Kingdom Hearts.” Taking the pen from her, he wrote out two words: ‘X-blade’ and ‘Keyblade’. “‘X’ is actually the Greek letter ‘chi’ and as you can hear, they’re pronounced the same. The X-blade was the first, the keyblades are all produced artificially in its image.”
Twilight idly rubbed at her temples for a moment. “That kind of naming scheme opens the door to so much confusion. And you said this is all from a game in your world?”
“A game series, a very popular one at that. But, continuing on, the first wielder was the Master of Masters. He studied the X-blade and learned how to draw keyblades from people’s hearts. One day he vanished and left the world to his apprentices. However, he planted seeds of doubt in them and eventually, they rallied their followers and engaged in a keyblade war. The world fell, swallowed by darkness. The X-blade was destroyed and Kingdom Hearts was trapped in its realm.”
“Its realm? So the one world which all worlds spring from fell to darkness, and the moon of light went somewhere else?”
“That’s the story anyway. I can’t give you a clear answer of where it went, I didn’t get to play the end of the saga before coming here. The legend goes that the light survived in the hearts of children and their light rebuilt the world into many smaller ones, separated by the lanes between. The keyblade wielders that survived the war took it upon themselves to protect those worlds.”
“From the heartless, right? Those are the creatures that seek the darkness in the hearts of others...or, wait, no, people whose hearts fall to darkness become heart...less. Huh. I wonder if Luna becoming Nightmare Moon was a heartless transformation?”
“From any threat really,” Alex clarified. “They would turn their keyblades into vehicles called gliders that allowed them to travel from world to world. Hell, they could turn them into all kinds of crazy things.”
“Okay, so all keyblades are drawn from the heart of the wielder, and they are functionally copies of the original design, called the X-blade.” She made sure to put a space in there mentally before saying it, actually trying to make sure she got it right. “Each one is tied to an individual, then, and can only be passed down in special circumstances? I wouldn’t draw the same keyblade as Luna, even though she used hers to awaken the ability in me, unless she specifically passed it down to me. You also said keyblades can open all kinds of locks, but not metaphorical ones, like something inhibiting the creative process. What about enchantments? Could a keyblade ‘unlock’ an enchantment?”
“Well, I could use Aubade to unlock or extract your heart, but neither of those things is a good idea.”
“Okay, now I assume by that you mean my spiritual heart, not the one that’s pumping blood through my body, right? Celestia and Luna explained that those were different things.”
“Yes, I mean your spiritual one,” Alex confirmed with a nod.
“Okay, what about an enchantment? Let’s say I thought that Pinkie was being mind-controlled by a crazy old zebra and I wanted to snap her out of it. Would a keyblade be able to do that?” Twilight’s face fell as she realized how that might sound. “Oh sweet Celestia, no, I’m not thinking of attacking everyone in the school to break the sirens’ hold. That would take forever, and I would feel horrible hurting everyone to help them.”
“Uh, maybe?” Alex responded with a shrug of his shoulders. “I don’t remember it ever coming up in the games. Can’t help you there.”
“Darn. Okay, so I’ve got the basic history of the keyblades, and Luna performed a ceremony that she said would allow me to draw upon my own in time. How do I do that? I’ve held one in my magic, so I know what that feels like, but would I be able to use one here? You drew yours earlier, so, shouldn’t I be able to?”
“Well, when I first summoned Aubade, I thought I was in danger. Now, I just reach out and grab it.”
“So, if I were to hold my hand out and think of needing to defend myself, or my friends, that would work for figuring out how to use it the first time, or is it different for everypony?”
Alex shrugged again. “I wish I had more to go on, but I really don’t. Sorry Twilight.”
“Alright, so there’s just not enough information for you to be able to tell me everything I need to know, and I guess the same was true for whoever Celestia and Luna’s old master was, because they were even more vague than you were. Well, there is one last thing I’d like to do, since it seems I’ll have to figure some things out on my own. Could you draw Aubade for me? I want to apologise to it.”
“Uh... okay.” Alex held his arm out, his hand shaking. He trembled, eye twitching for a moment. ‘I-I dont know i-if I should.”
Twilight smiled, and placed her own hand on top of his shaking one. “It’s okay, Alex. Nothing bad will happen if you do it now. You’ve been so calm and, and I shouldn’t have let the girls keep bugging you about the statue either. Who knows, maybe seeing it happen here, in a world without background magic, will help he figure my own out?”
“O-okay.” Continuing to shake, a thin line of blood trickled down from his nose. His head jerked as Aubade appeared in his hand, knocking both him and the chair over. The blade tumbled away, clattering to the floor next to him..
“Alex?!” Twilight stood up quickly and rushed around the table to his side. “Oh no, no no no I didn’t expect anything like this to happen.” She reached out to feel at his neck for a pulse, and lowered her ear near his head to listen for breathing. “Fluttershy is going to kill me for this… both of them!”
“Why are your hands all up on me...?” Alex groaned, stirring slightly. “Fuck, my head... Jesus, I have a headache...”:
“Oh good, you’re not dead.” Twilight sat back up and sighed in relief. “Okay, note to self; don’t do that to Alex again.” She stood up and brushed her knees off before reaching down to offer Alex some help up. “You’re safe, we’re okay. We’re at Pinkie’s for a slumber party. Do you... remember anything?”
“I remember how screwed I was when I realized they saw through my bluff.” Taking Twilight’s hand, he stood up and promptly sat back down. “Can I get... I dunno. Just be by myself for a while?”
“Of course you can, Alex.” She reached down without even thinking about it, and handed Aubade back to him before taking her notebook and opening the balcony door to head back in. “Oh, Sunset and I made sure to bring a couple extra things for you in case we were able to snap you out of it... just in case you want to change.”
“Y-yeah, sure. I guess I should change out of this dress I’ve been wearing all d... oh fuck my life.”
Alex bolted upright, a scream dying in his throat. Blind panic soon bled out into clarity, revealing that he was still in Pinkie’s room. A quick glance around soothed any fears he had of waking the girls up with any shouted nightmare talking.
All but one of the girls was clearly sound asleep around him, and the only one that wasn’t was standing in the doorway with a sleep mask hanging around her throat and one hand held up to her mouth to stifle a yawn. As soon as that ended, she whispered to him, “Bad dreams, Alex?”
“Yeah... just a bad dream is all,” he dismissed, frowning. “Did I wake you up? Sorry, I uh, don’t usually sleep around other people.”
“No, not at all.” Rarity looked around and waved him over to the door. “Come on, let’s go get a quick drink and talk where we won’t disturb the others.”
Rising to his feet, he moved over to the door. “I could use a beer but I promised I wouldn’t drink while under age.”
“All for the best, really.” Rarity led the way down to the kitchen, and opened up the refrigerator on the right wall rather than the one on the left wall to pull out a gallon of milk. “So, you had a day that I believe Rainbow would call a ‘real cleat-sucker,’ or just a kick in the teeth, I suppose. First it was the dress you ended up in, and lashing out because you were confused about how that made you feel, then admitting that to me, which was brave for someone like you.” She smiled as she poured the milk into two glasses, obviously having been to Pinkie’s house before with how familiar she was with the layout. “But then...then you ran right into them, and they did something to you...and I know that must have hurt you deeply inside.”
Alex mumbled a thank you, grabbing one of the glasses and pulling it close to him. “”I don’t even remember it. Now I just got a lot of things going through my head I thought I had under lock and key.”
“Yes, well, I rather expected something along those lines, but I have dealt with this before.” Rarity slipped the milk back into the fridge and closed the door before picking up her own cold glass. “I’m guessing you had a rough childhood, with at least one parent who hated every single thing you did?”
Staring down at his glass, it took him a moment to speak. “A drunk one. Who often showed his displeasure with his hands.”
“Oh dear, I’m so sorry for you. I’m afraid I know the type...still, you’re safe from him here, and now, even if you never truly were before. You’re free to explore yourself and your feelings, to find out who you really are. You’re free to wear the clothes that make you feel comfortable, or the ones that just feel nice. You can take all the good that’s inside and make it beautiful, or at least take what’s on the inside out once in a while. Experiment now that you’re free of the ruffian that wanted you to conform to his exact desires, and once you start doing your own thing you’ll make everyone around you smile a bit more.” She took a sip of her own glass and thought for a few seconds. “If the version of Fluttershy on the other side is anything like our Fluttershy here, I’m sure she has a beautiful smile.”
Alex couldn’t help but laugh, a pure, delightful laugh. “I-I’m sorry, you just sound like an after school special.” He kept laughing, having to lean back to avoid knocking his drink over. It took him a few minutes to calm down, but he was wearing a genuine smile.
Rarity couldn’t help but giggle a bit as she thought back on what she’d just said. “Well, I suppose that’s inevitable when trying to cheer a friend up while also urging them to let go of the load weighing them down and preventing them from being themselves.” Rarity looked off into the distance silently for a few seconds. “Don’t be afraid to talk about your problems, Alex. I’m sure Fluttershy will listen.”
“You know her, I tell her all about this stuff and she’ll never stop hugging me,” Alex said, taking a long drink. “I don’t know how common stuff like this is back in ponyland. I’d rather not be more coddled then I already am.”
“Maybe there’s someone else you can talk to then? Does your mother have a husband, or a boyfriend?”
“She’s got a boyfriend, he’s pretty cool,” Alex admitted, meeting her eyes. “I’m just... so confused. Guess I had a lot of parts of myself I never knew I had.”
Rarity smirked before draining her own glass of milk, and there was a glint in her eyes as she waited a few more seconds before saying anything. “I’m going to forego the easy joke there, but only because it’s late and we need to get back to sleep.”
Finishing his glass, Alex wiped his mouth on his arm. “Yeah. Want me to grab some cucumber slices from the fridge? Wouldn't want you to miss out on your beauty requirements.”
“Oh, no thank you. I’m pretty sure the Pies don’t have any cucumbers, and I don’t really need those on my eyes every night anyways.” Rarity reached up to tug at the sleep mask around her neck. “This works just fine for what I need tonight.”
“Works for me.” Taking Rarity’s glass, he placed them in the sink and rinsed them off. “Alright, let’s head back to bed before anyone else starts to worry.”
The two of them returned to Pinkie’s room and managed to avoid waking anyone else up. Alex had little trouble getting back to sleep, and his dreams ended up being far more peaceful than usual.
Alex couldn’t begin to describe the content feeling a pair of jeans that actually fit brought him. It made him snort, the thought of being a jeans supremacist running through his mind. With a pair of jeans and a t-shirt with the stylized band logo typical of heavy metal where one could just barely make out the word ,’ he felt confident about whatever the day brought. Now if only the extra garment under his shirt would stop bothering him.
Rarity leaned over after seeing him make his third adjustment in the last hour. “You know, I could help you tighten the straps so they slip a bit less. I know you’re not big on touching and such, but this is something you’ll need to know for a while.”
Groaning, Alex nodded. “We can duck out for a few minutes. Can’t argue with your logic, ain’t gonna be no one back home to help.”
The two of them stepped out of the barn and into the mid-morning air, where Rarity had Alex lift the back of his shirt over his head, then carefully guided his hands so he could learn how to comfortably reach back and properly adjust the length of the straps in back rather than having to pull them back up onto his shoulder every time they slipped down. “And once you’ve mastered this you should even be able to do it either through the shirt, or by pulling your arms in and reaching around underneath it. Sometimes they do slip, but Custom Fit uses good materials.”
“I might just have to stop by her place again.” Alex pulled his shirt back down and smoothed it out. “She had a bitchin’ mohawk so she’s good in my book.”
“Well, she knows you now, and she knows you know me, so she’ll help you out no matter what if I’m not there.” Rarity turned to head back inside, only to freeze as she noticed they had an observer. “Oh, Sunset. I thought you’d still be inside, cheering your princess on.”
“Yeah, well, there’s only so much I can take of Dash arguing with her about instrument balance and the song just needing to be ‘cooler’ before I need to take a break. I really hope this all works out in the end, but it’s a rough start.”
“Rarity, we’re ready to start the next set! Need yer keytar more than ya need to fix yer makeup!”
“Oh honestly, it’s not always about me, Applejack!” Rarity huffed as she walked back into the barn.
“Not going so well with them, huh?” Alex questioned, looking into the barn. “Guess it takes more than a slumber party to fix that.”
“Rarity and Applejack have had a clash of personalities as long as I’ve known the five of them, and they’re easily the loosest of friends among the group because they see things so differently.” Sunset sighed as she sunk down into a seated position with her back against the side of the barn and her legs held against her chest. “I know it’s not my fault this time, but I can’t help feeling bad about it. I also really need to get that first version out of my head, but I can’t do music therapy in there while they’re practicing.”
“Music therapy?” Alex questioned, sitting down next to her. “What’s that about?”
“You’ve never heard the term before? It’s listening to something you really like, or playing something random on an instrument you know to help you forget about something that’s bothering you...or to get rid of a song you don’t want stuck in your head. Like, say you’ve got an annoying child’s song stuck repeating in your head and you want it gone, so you listen to some parodies by Cheese Sandwich.”
“Who’s Cheese Sandwich?”
“Oh, right, different worlds. Let me see if I have something recent on my phone here…” Sunset pulled her phone out and began to flip through the songs she had for a few minutes. “Okay, that’s not a good one without the visuals. I think I have just a good enough signal here to get a connection.” A few more quick pokes and a couple seconds of loading later a familiar song began to play as Sunset’s phone blared out the opening to ‘Word Crimes’ as she held it out to him.
Alex stared at the phone, his face contorting into a look of utter shock which then morphed into a rather disturbed look. “That’s just Weird Al Yankovic. That’s fucking Weird Al Yankovic!” Placing his head in his hands, he groaned. “Please turn it off. I got enough existential problems as it is.”
Sunset cringed and quickly paused the video. “Okay, okay, sorry. Ugh. I’m fucking everything up lately. I just wish I could do something that actually helps.”
Reaching over, he socked her in the arm. “Stop with your pity party. Not your fault the multiverse is screwy. And hey, you’re not the only one who’s majorly fucked up in their life.”
“Yeah, yeah good point. I will admit, I kinda wish I was in there helping the girls play the song better, but I wasn’t invited into the band so I’d feel like I was butting in.”
Tapping his chin, Alex hummed. “How about we join in on our own? Doesn’t have to be to beat the Dazzlings, just us getting some built up emotions out.”
“Well, I can play guitar. What can you play? I’m pretty sure we could find a third person who isn’t involved somewhere…”
“Uh... I can sing?” Alex offered with a weak smile. “I;m pretty sure my new voice is more suited to it than my old one.”
“Guitar, singer, need a drummer. Someone on bass would be nice if we’re going to do certain songs…” Sunset’s face fell. “Crap, songs. Even if we were able to do a last-minute signup, what would we even play?”
“I got a few songs,” Alex offered, holding up his tablet. “We’ll just have to rush practice and what not.”
“Well, I can play by ear if I can hear the songs, but I don’t know anybody else that can myself.” The sound of the practice inside almost literally grinding to a stop reached them, and Sunset just winced. “Let me send Pinkie a text, see if she knows anyone who’d be willing to lend a hand to you and I.” Sunset called up her contacts list and fired off a message almost as quickly as she’d made the suggestion. “If she does know anyone, we’ll have only a couple hours to practice before the competition starts.”
“Alright, so we have one last minute entry of Sunset Shimmer, Maud and Limestone Pie, and Alex Lionheart. Does your band have a name or are you going up with no name like Snips and Snails, and...oh, nevermind, that other group is called The Derps.”
“We’re Pyroclasm.” Maud stated flatly while looking Vice Principal Luna directly in the face, as if daring her to argue.
“We’re the Wayfinders,” Alex insisted, giving Maud a look. “Put that one down.”
Sunset smirked and rolled her eyes, but offered no suggestion one way or the other, while Limestone Pie bristled next to her.
“Okay, I take it Alex is the band leader, so Wayfinders it is. I hope you’ve all remembered that this is still a school event, and as such we are requiring that songs have no explicit lyrics?”
“Define ‘explicit’,” Alex said, trying not to stare after realizing Vice Principal Luna had obscenely long legs.
“She means no lyrics about sex, or shooting up schools, things that would get her and her sister in trouble if parents found out about it even if it was just us students who were saying it.” Sunset clarified before Luna could speak up.
“Precisely.” Luna smiled. “Though my personal tastes may play a small part in how each band is scored, my professional obligations to this school must take precedence.”
“Right.” Alex nodded, looking between his bandmates. “Everybody got that? Good.”
“Come on, come on. When do we get to play? I want to thrash our first opponent!” Limestone grumbled as she clenched her hand around the handle of her bass case.
“Well, we had already created the brackets for this, but I could put you up against one of the two bands least likely to move to the next round as our first contestants if you really want to go first?” Principal Celestia offered. “I’ll even flip a coin over which one to eliminate any appearance of bias.”
“Sounds good to me,” Alex agreed, nodding his head. “We call heads.”
“Okay, and which band would that be, then? Heads for Snips and Snails, or heads for The Derps?”
“Uh... the Derps.”
Celestia flipped a coin and caught it as it came down, then revealed her open palm to Alex and the rest of the Wayfinders. “Looks like you’re facing The Derps in a competition runoff. Select your first song and head to the stage for a quick tuning check.”
Luna flipped a switch on a microphone set into the table, causing a crackle from the school PA system. “Due to a last-minute contest entry, we are having a runoff song battle between The Derps, and The Wayfinders. Both bands report to the stage.”
“This is a joke, right? They weren’t really going to compete as a band with a saw, a triangle, and a cowbell, were they?” Limestone sounded legitimately insulted as she ran a cleaning rag along the mirror-smooth finish on her bass.
“I’ve seen weirder bands,” Alex retorted, suppressing the butterflies attempting to escape his throat. “Like Daft Punk, or those guys from Stomp.”
“Which song are we doing first?” Maud inquired as she unpacked her electronic drum set and checked all the settings to make sure she could flip to the presets they’d selected.
“Price of a Mile.” A derisive giggle escaped Alex’s lips. ‘I feel like one of those Japanese metal bands that's fronted by idols. The strange places life takes you to never cease to amaze me.’
“I wonder if I’ll get extra credit for that? The battle of Passiondale is an obscure one from the first Sombric war.” Sunset chuckled. “Well, if we don’t all end up enslaved by demon-fish-music I’ll find out.”
There was the sound of scattered and unenthusiastic applause as the trio on stage stood up and bowed. All three of them glared at their four current rivals as they walked off the stage, and the gray one with the lazy eye stuck her tongue out at them.
“Uh, yo?” Alex greeted, giving a wave. “Uh... Gave us your A game, weird, weird band.”
“Ah, ignore them. Let’s go, I wanna jam and this is the first chance I’ve had in months, not counting practice earlier.” Limestone walked out onstage and plugged her bass into one of the provided amps. “Come on, one minute to tune up before we have to start.”
Maud moved quickly, and the components of her drum set were soon placed on the riser for that while the school set was moved off to the side. Sunset moved to double-check the tuning on her guitar as well while Maud set the sound configuration utility to the fifth preset they made during practice. One green light and a few soft test-taps on each drumhead later; Maud gave Alex a thumbs-up.
“Okay... Just take a breath and start singing.” Taking that breath he stepped up to the microphone. ‘Those three fish-hags brainwashed you, Alex. Brainwashed you. Just show em how much talent you got.’ Pausing, he gestured to Maud to begin the opening narration.
Maud nodded and took one careful breath to steady her own nerves, not that anybody could ever tell when she was nervous except her sisters. “Throw your soldiers into positions whence there is no escape, and they will prefer death to flight.”
Sunset and Limestone waited a moment before they both began playing the song as they had rehearsed it. Maud joined in with her drums after the correct amount of time, and the three of them played through the song introduction. Sunset allowed the final guitar note to hang slightly while Maud continued to keep proper time with the drums and Limestone produced a few lingering notes of her own to lead into the first verse of lyrics.
The overall effect was quite intense, and the students watching were completely silent as the song continued on for another five minutes without any kind of interruption. Sunset and Limestone added their own voices to the lyrics of the chorus alongside Alex, while he alone sang the primary verses.
Just as they had rehearsed; Sunset, Limestone, and Maud all unplugged or turned off their instruments before the final repetition of the last chorus line so all four of them could sing in unison. “Thousands of feet march to the beat. It’s an army in despair! Knee-deep, in mud. Stuck in a trench with no way out!”
Alex panted, his heart throbbing and lungs aching. So caught up in the moment, he hadn’t even remembered the voice he sang with wasn’t his own. He stared out into the crowd, awaiting their judgement with knots in his stomach.
The students in the crowd all clapped at the very least. One girl with mint-green skin and wearing a pink blouse had a worried expression on her face until the peach-skinned girl next to her leaned in for a quick and subtle kiss. Vice-Principal Luna had a wide smile as she made a few notes on the paper in front of her, and Principal Celestia looked pleasantly surprised.
“Well, they didn’t boo at least,” Alex grumbled, wiping the sweat off his forehead.
“Alex!”
“Sunset!”
Twilight and Rainbow Dash called from the side of the stage at exactly the same time before they rushed out. Twilight swept Alex into a hug while Rainbow Dash glared at Sunset’s guitar.
“Why didn’t you tell me you could play guitar?!”
“Why didn’t you tell me you could write songs? That was way better than anything we’ve tried all day.”
“I uh, didn’t write it.” Alex hugged Twilight back, leaning on her for support. “Just a song I happened to have on my phone.”
“The Derps are eliminated. Please clear the stage, girls.” Principal Celestia’s voice was kind but stern as she spoke clearly and just loudly enough for everyone in the room to hear.
Vice-Principal Luna flipped the PA switch again. “Snips and Snails, and... Fiddlemaster Flex are our next contestants. You have ten minutes to prepare.”
“Fiddlemaster Flex?” Applejack’s voice was full of confusion, but loud enough that everyone could hear it.
“YEAH!” The response came from the bleachers as a massively muscular male student stood up holding a dainty violin case.
“Let’s go somewhere private to talk this out, okay?” Sunset suggested as she packed her guitar back up. Maud and Limestone did the same with their instruments. The group made their way to the back, deciding to hunker down in one of the drama club’s dressing rooms.
“Limestone! Maud! Why didn’t you two tell me you were missing our family jam sessions so much?” Pinkie slipped between her sisters and hugged both of them against her.
“Because two drummers is a bit much sometimes, Pinkie, but this was fun.”
“Yeah, especially winning and getting to do it in front of other people instead of having to stay in the basement.”
“It was a rush...” Alex commented, taking a seat. He looked at his reflection, noting that his hair was plastered to his face from all the sweat. “I’m going to need a shower after this.”
Rainbow Dash reached into a bag she’d brought with her along with her guitar and tossed Alex a bottle of some neon-colored sports drink. “Here, I keep a bunch of spares with me most of the time, and in both lockers...and at home.” She smirked at the sweat rolling off Alex’s head. “You think you have it bad? Be glad your hair’s short. I’ve thought about cutting it, but my parents want me to go for some kind of world record and I’m still a minor, so...yeah.”
“Uh, right. Whatever you say.” Taking the drink, Alex noted the name of Stallion-Aide. Rolling his eyes, he took a long drink. “Anyone see the fish in the audience?”
“I didn’t notice them out there, but there are a few seats with dim lighting where they could have been hiding.” Fluttershy offered.
“Is it a bad thing that I almost hope they met with an unfortunate accident on the way here today? I’m honestly not sure... is it a good thing to wish ill on evil people?”
“Okay, so what song are we going to play when we’re up? The counterspell just... it isn’t ready and we need something or we’ll be eliminated.”
“I say we should do ‘Shake your Tail’ to hold out. We play just well enough to stay alive in this so Twilight can get the counterspell refined. If we can get to the finals we’ll have an extra few hours to rehearse it.”
“Ya really think that song’s gonna to fly with the ‘no explicit lyrics’ rule, Rainbow?”
“AJ, I keep telling you, it’ll be fine. Shake your tail is not the same as ‘get some tail.’”
“How the fuck did we get stuck going up against the Dazzlings?” Alex groaned, rubbing his temples. Just the thought of being next to them on stage made her head hurt. He couldn’t lie to himself, smacking Adagio and Aria around would be the most satisfying thing he could think of. His aggression was tempered however, by the guilt of lying to Sonata.
“Who cares who we got matched up with, we’ll knock em dead!” Limestone shouted confidently, thrusting an fist into the air. “Their crappy pop songs can’t beat our hard rock!”
“So, what will we play this time? We could go with that one with that repeating bass line, what was it, ‘Another One Bites the Dust?’ We could go for broke and see if we can actually knock them out of the competition with a fitting song.” Sunset offered.
“Not hard enough, or rocky. That felt like it had too much blues in it to be hard rock.” Maud’s voice was, as usual, a level-headed counterpoint to Limestone. Her suggestion was prefaced by bass drum kicks spaced exactly one second apart. “I say Dream Warriors.”
“I’m up for some horror rock,” Alex agreed, grinning a bit. “You know, rumor has it, Dokken was coked out of their minds when they filmed the music video. You can kinda tell when you watch it.”
“Who cares, it rocks, let’s go!”
Maud plugged her drums in and poked at the custom sound setting they’d made to balance this song perfectly in practice. Sensing that Limestone wouldn’t give the rest much time to prepare even if she waited, she immediately began the four solitary kicks to lead into the song. Sunset and Limestone both joined in with the soft and almost unsettling notes that served to trick unknowing listeners into thinking this was going to be a calmer song.
Sunset in particular had a wide smile on her face as she performed the transition from calming notes to a hard guitar riff after a few seconds of Maud incorporating the other drums into the song. She was getting into it hard as the drive to make this count gripped her.
Alex poured his emotional turmoil into the song, allowing his body to move to the music. “I lie awake, and dread the lonely nights...”
All four of them fell into the music, pouring everything they could into it and barely paying attention to anything else until Sunset flubbed a note as her guitar jerked in her hand. She recovered quickly, but the perfect synchronization and harmony was dispelled in that moment. She looked over after grinning sheepishly towards the audience, and saw the Rainbooms standing to the side of the stage looking worried. Rainbow Dash held the slack from the amp plug in one hand and shook her head slowly.
They finished their song to the applause of only Celestia and Luna. “Wonderful, girls. That song felt very much like something we would have heard in our childhoods, even if there was a little mistake.”
“Even the best players might get a hand cramp on a song like that, Celestia. I think she recovered nicely.”
“We do still have to factor it into the score. Please, Wayfinders, clear the stage for The Dazzlings.”
Sunset blushed as she packed up her guitar, but the embarrassment was quickly replaced with anger as she walked offstage and right up to Rainbow Dash. “Alright, what’s the idea with tugging on my cord in the middle of a song? Did you get jealous that someone might be better than you, like when you ejected that game last night on Applejack?”
“You were going to pony up!” Dash hissed, poking Sunset’s shoulder. “You could have given away our plan, way before we were ready!”
“Knock it off!” Limestone grunted, pushing them apart. “I thought you guys were friends, not cats ready to claw each others eyes out!”
“Wait, what?” Sunset backed off easily at the push, and her hands shot up to feel her ears. “But I’ve never done it before. Why would it almost happen now?”
Twilight smiled, pulling both her and Alex into a hug. “I think it’s because you were just enjoying yourself along with your bandmates. You were so in tune with each other, the harmony was starting to show.”
“Literal harmony…” Sunset facepalmed and groaned as they all began to move away from the stage. “So, obviously the same idea of harmonizing would apply to getting rid of them and breaking the spell, right?”
“Well, in theory, yes. The only problem would be finding a song that we can all perform well and that speaks to all of us so we can get just as in tune with it as you did with that one just now.”
“Maybe we could play one of my songs?” Fluttershy spoke, barely above a whisper.
“No way, Fluttershy. We’re up against Trixie in the semifinals if she makes it that far and we have to make sure all our songs kick as much butt as possible.”
“Rainbow Da-”
“Would you mind getting out of our way, Wallflowers and hangers-on? We have a song to perform, in case you forgot, and you’re blocking the backstage door.” The sound of Adagio’s voice sent a chill up Alex’s back.
“Oh, we’re sorry, Dee Snider. Please, go rally your rabid fans to trash the auditorium.” Alex stepped to the side and swept his arms to the stage. “Just make sure you don’t get called before the senate. They’ll probably make you cut your hair.”
“Oh look, the pipsqueak got tired of her pretty dress and is trying to pretend she’s a tomboy.” Aria snarled, her face full of pure anger as she walked past everyone and through the door.
Adagio smirked and walked past the rest as well, but shoved Alex further to the side before heading in, followed closely by Sonata, who didn’t say a word.
“Hey, you touch him again and I’ll get the entire soccer team to step all over your face! You hear me you bitch?!” Rainbow yelled through the door, and then cringed.
The PA system squealed to life. “Rainbow Dash, meet me in the principal’s office after this next song.”
“Fuck.”
Rainbow Dash walked out of the office and faced her friends. “Okay, the good news is I was able to talk my way out of us all being punished for that by explaining that Alex had been shoved by one of the Dazzlings. I got detention next Monday for swearing in school, but we’re still in the competition.”
“Good to know I have friends in high places,” Alex said, giving Dash a smile. “Just uh, don’t get yourself suspended because you feel the need to defend the younger kid’s honor.”
“Defend your honor nothing. I hate bullies....What?” Rainbow Dash asked as everyone either frowned or facepalmed.
“Dash, tellin’ someone yer gonna get the entire soccer team to ‘step on their face’ ain’t exactly bein’ the nice person in the exchange.” Applejack said with a sigh. “Come on, we need ta git ready fer the next set.”
“Limestone and I will just watch the rest of the competition. Playing with you was fun.” Maud waved briefly on her way out the door to bring her drums to the van.
“No hard feelings.” Limestone slapped Sunset on the back, making her stumble. “Hadn’t had that much fun in a while. See ya around, Sunset, Alex, Pinkie’s friends.” Hefting up her bass case, she followed Maud.
“Okay, so apparently I can pony-up as well now, and you guys still need to figure out what song you’re going to end up playing for the finals as well as what songs are going to carry you through there...is there a rule about adding in an extra performer to a band?”
“Performers,” Alex pressed, putting his hands into his pockets. “No reason I can’t keep going. And I have a pretty damn good singing voice.”
“Eh, unfortunately that’s not going to fly unless we get to the finals. We can only substitute someone in if one of us gets injured during the main competition, but we can make a couple changes for the finals, and everyone knows Sunset’s a friend of ours.” Dash smirked. “I’d be happy to invite the two of you into my band, though, as long as we get that far.”
“Our band!” Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie, and even Fluttershy shouted in unison.
“Right, right.” Rainbow Dash waved her hand dismissively
“Ah, then we’ll just uh, cheer you guys on,” Alex said, sighing a little. “Shame, I was actually having fun. They just had to screw with the Almighty Tallest’s minds, didn’t they?” Turning away, he moved over to a vending machine. “Anyone got two fifty on them?”
“I got this.” Sunset handed Alex a ten-dollar bill. “Anything in there with strawberries?”
“Uh, yeah. Cookies or candy?” he questioned, slipping the bill into the machine. “Anyone else want anything?”
“Cupcakes!” Pinkie called, then went back to arguing with Dash over the length of her drum solos.
“Whichever has a smaller package is fine. I want a bit of flavor...eh, go with the candy. Less chance it’s broken.”
Twilight moved away from the group to sit down on a chair outside the office and look through the notebook once more, as if the magic words to the right song would just leap out at her from the mess of her previous work.
Alex and Sunset continued to help the Rainbooms as much as they were allowed to by the rules of the contest, and between songs they both helped make suggestions for song lyrics for the counterspell since Twilight still seemed intent on creating something new using the new information they had about it just needing to be an enjoyable song that they could put their hearts into.
Sunset’s insight on that part helped bring out some much better lyrics, but figuring out the notation and instrument balance was a much nastier problem without the proper rehearsal time. Every time they made a little progress it was showtime again, and they had to stop so the Rainbooms could stay in the contest. Before they knew it, the contest was down to the semifinals and Trixie had just finished performing.
“You guys can do this.” Alex stood with Sunset, looking out at the crowd. “All you have to do is beat Blue Man Group over there and it’s straight to the Dazzlings.”
“As if. These ‘Raingoons’ shouldn’t even be allowed to compete since they’re bringing in outside help to give them an advantage.” Trixie taunted as she walked off of the stage. “Everyone’s talking about trying to convince the principal to throw them out of the contest over it.”
“I don’t need Twilight to beat you Trixie, unless you already forgot how I won our contest at the guitar store and decided I liked this one better in the end.” Rainbow Dash patted her guitar with a cocky grin.
“Two minutes to stage, Rainbooms!” Luna’s voice came over the PA system.
“You mean noticed the price tag on the guitar we were fighting over was well outside your range. Besides, I had a stomach ache that day. You couldn’t beat me unless the judge was blind and half-deaf.”
“Oh please. I could win this entire thing as a solo act, and everybody knows it!”
“Will the two of you stop measuring your non-existent dicks and get on with it?” Alex questioned, looking between them. “Either start making out or actually do something productive.”
“Me? With her? UGH!” Trixie made a face and quickly tossed something at the ground that burst into smoke in front of the other group.
“She’s gone!” Pinkie gasped as the smoke cleared and everyone stopped coughing.
“Yes, that’s the idea when someone throws a smoke bomb. Shut up and get on stage so Trixie can be declared the winner!”
“Well, you heard David Copperfield, go!” Alex insisted, pushing Dash out from the backstage area. “If you get kicked out, this will have been a very, very, very big waste of time. Now get on that stage and put your money where your mouth is!”
Sunset put a hand on Alex’s shoulder as the rest of the Rainbooms filed out on stage, grumbling and utterly lacking in energy as they set their equipment up quickly and found their marks. “I think this is going to be bad.”
“Something’s gotta give,” Alex agreed, shaking his head. “We should get Maud and Limestone just in case we need a backup plan.”
Before they could say anything else the Rainbooms started playing, and Rainbow Dash was going all-out on her guitar right from the start, practically headbanging. Pinkie was barely putting forth more effort than it took to move the drumsticks, and was visibly slouching in her seat while the rest just seemed to be standing in place and playing along for the moment.
Sunset’s grip tightened on Alex’s shoulder. “No. Oh this is bad. If I was about to just because I was having fun...she’s practically trying to force it out and the rest are barely trying!” Spotting Dash’s ears starting to glow, Sunset moved past Alex and lunged onto the stage, tackling Dash right in the middle of a guitar solo.
Jeers began coming from the audience after the comedy of errors the that tackle caused. And another argument about what could have been done differently started up backstage despite Sunset reminding them that they did something similar to her, and she didn’t have the luxury of a nearby cord to tug on.
“Ah don’t care what Sunset did! None’a this would’a happened if you hadn’t tried showin’ off, as usual.” Applejack was right up in Rainbow Dash’s face, her hand inches from the blue girl’s throat.
“You’re just upset you don’t have my kind of skills!” Dash pushed Applejack away, sneering at her. “All of you are just weighing me down!”
“Nice job, ‘Rainbrooms!’” Trixie laughed as she re-entered the backstage area. “That couldn’t have possibly gone better, for me!”
“SHUT UP, TRIXIE!” Everyone but Twilight, Spike, and Alex yelled at the annoying blue showoff not named Rainbow Dash.
“I feel like I’m on an episode of Jerry Springer,” Alex muttered rubbing at his head. “Will everyone just stop!?” Alex commanded, glaring at Dash and Applejack. “Knock it the hell off and grow up.”
“Hey, Twilight, are we sure this world doesn’t have a version of Discord who’s still evil and turned everyone into jerks just like back home?” Spike spoke up, prompting Trixie’s eyes to pop open wide before she decided it was time to check what she’d recently drank.
“Girls, please, we aren’t going to get anywhere bickering like this,” Twilight commented, her voice strained. “Everyone just needs to calm down. We can’t perform the counter spell like this.”
The arguing settled down a little as Twilight’s plea seemed to smooth over a bit of frayed nerves, thought Rarity and Pinkie both seemed more than a little strained by all this. Trixie actually pulled out a compact and started to primp in the mirror as Celestia and Luna entered the backstage area to make a somewhat bigger presentation of the results and who would move on to face the Dazzlings in the final match. The Dazzlings entered right behind them and began singing something without any lyrics. The song was brief, and, once the Dazzlings had finished it, Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna stepped up on stage to make the announcement.
Another argument broke out between Applejack and Rarity over how there was no way they were moving on and there’d be no chance to show off the costumes Rarity had been working on. Astonishingly, it was Rainbow Dash who broke them up this time, just before Celestia cleared her throat and lifted the microphone. “The winner of this semifinals match, and the band that will be going on to face the Dazzlings in the finals this evening is, The Rainbooms!”
“It’s totally a set up,” Alex commented, glaring over at the Dazzlings. He looked eyes with Adagio and subtly flipped her off. “They got something planned.”
“Don’t antagonize them, we still need the countersong,” Twilight reminded, her shoulders sagging. “Let’s go get something to eat. I think we could all use a break.”
They all moved off quickly, after at least thanking the principal for letting them move on and studiously ignoring all the jeers that came from the students in the crowd who thought that it should have gone to Trixie given the interruption. Not one person in the auditorium even seemed to support the Rainbooms at all, but Maud and Limestone were waiting outside the backstage door.
“That was a bunch of horseshit. No way you should be moving on after that debacle.”
“Limestone, not in here. Let’s go get something to eat so we can talk freely.” Maud’s voice was calm, but she did move in to hug Pinkie. “We’ll also get your drum fixed up.”
“Aw, thanks, Maud!” Pinkie smiled, returning her hug.
”Just get in the van,” Limestone ordered, taking the driver’s seat. “We’re going to Five Gals. Anyone got a problem with that?”
“Five Gals? Please tell me they have at least one salad on the menu?” Rarity whined.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and glared at Rarity. “We’ve been hauling instruments around all day today, and you’ve probably burned more calories than you’ve eaten in the last week. Eat a damn cheeseburger for once in your life!”
“Can we please just take a chill pill?” Alex rubbed at his temples, groaning. “You’re giving me a headache. A bad one too. Limestone, can you put the radio on? Anything is better than listening to them.”
“With pleasure, little dude.” Limestone actually smiled as she started the van and turned on the stereo. What immediately started blaring from the speakers, completely drowning out pretty much anyone talking in the back, was a metal song that started with an almost-gentle guitar riff soon joined by a heavy drum beat and vocals that seemed to make the vehicle jump in place.
Alex sighed in relief, leaning back in his seat and relaxing for the first time in hours as they drove to get some more substantial food than vending machine snacks. On the way there, Pinkie’s damaged drum was dropped off at a repair place that promised to have it fixed within the hour as soon as Limestone showed them her credit card.
To call what the group proceeded to engage in next a regrouping would have been an insult to the word ‘regroup.’ Most of the meal was eaten in silence, and any attempt at conversation resulted in heated exchanges. Twilight seemed to shrink in on herself and paid more desperate attention to her notebook than she did to her food, which Spike ended up eating most of.
“Some band this is, huh?” Alex asked Sunset, taking another bite of his cheeseburger. Never had a cheeseburger tasted so good. He chalked it up to either the nature of the world, or just the lack of meat back in pony land.
“It’s gotten kinda bad the last few days, but I can’t blame it completely on the sirens and their emotional manipulations. Some of it might be that, like the magic inside them only protects them so much, but not enough. I’m not sure why I’m unaffected.”
“Doesn’t do us much good though, does it?” Rubbing his head, Alex sighed. “Still got that headache though. Probably something left over from the brainwashing.”
“Speaking of lingering side-effects, you look like this back on the home-side of the portal, right?”
“Yeah, this is me now.” Alex nodded. “Why do you ask?”
“I was just wondering. I mean, there are a few things that caught me by surprise when I came over and I thought you’d be the first one to suggest a trip to a drug store or something.”
“I’ll be fine,” Alex waved her off. “I know how to human, former pony.”
“Okay, okay. I just figured I’d ask. I guess you’ve got it all figured out and arranged back home then?”
“Sunset, quit botherin’ the poor guy. If he says he’s fine, he’s fine.” Applejack ordered from Alex’s other side.
“How is the song coming, Twilight?” Fluttershy inquired, risking yet another argument with her question.
“Not so well, I’m afraid. It all keeps coming back to the same basic problem...I’m not a songwriter, I’m a student of magic and science.” She sighed. “Maybe we should have just gone with one of your songs from the start, like Alex suggested. That way we’d at least know if it worked or not.”
“You still can, no reason you can’t,” Alex pointed out, tossing a fry into his mouth. “Nothing’s stopping you other than Dash’s John Lennon-sized ego.”
“Right, but could any of you agree on just one song to play? I’ve looked through your book for inspiration, and you’ve all written at least one song.”
“I’ll play anything that isn’t more of Rainbow Dash stroking her own ego.”
“Hey!”
Twilight put her head in her hands as an argument about what song to play began racing around the table. “Could we...not do this again?”
“I’m with Twilight, let’s just eat and be merry,” Alex pressed, shaking his head. “Please?”
“I can’t believe she’s doing the same song twice,” Alex muttered, looking up at the ceiling. “She doesn’t have another self-aggrandizing song?” It was catchy as hell, making him having to listen again all the worse.
The Rainbooms had found themselves trapped under the designated stage for the finales. Instead of using the schools auditorium, the principals, of their own free will or the Dazzling’s song, had decided to hold the finals at the town’s outdoor amphitheater. The band had arrived early to practice, which came to an end shortly afterward when Trixie pulled a switch and dropped them under the stage.
And that’s where they had been for the past few hours. Trying and failing to get out, falling into arguments. It was business as usual for the Rainbooms. Twilight was even curled up into a corner, holding her legs against her chest and poking her fingers together as if there was nothing better to do. Sunset hadn’t stopped pacing while avoiding the argument, mostly, and all of them had tried the door, but it simply wouldn’t budge, not even after Alex had tried to unlock it with Aubade.
“Trixie’s not exactly the most creative person to begin with. At last year’s talent show all she did was bring in tricks she’d copied from some big-shot stage magician. Poorly. She ended up getting disqualified after one of the setups collapsed on another student who volunteered.” Sunset muttered as she continued searching through the various things stored away under the stage. “Need a crowbar, or a sledgehammer, or an axe. I just want to get out already.”
“Aubade’s pretty sharp,” Alex replied, hefting the keyblade over his hand and swinging it at the door. “These things can cut through skyscrapers!”
“Alex...no.” Twilight spoke up as she slowly stood. “You could hurt someone if that’s true, or cut something dangerous open. Who knows what kinds of chemicals are in some of these containers?”
“I know how to swing a big key, Twilight.” Dismissing her concerns, Alex took a few more swings at the door. “Come on, just break already!” Gripping the hilt tighter and using both hands, he raised Aubade back over his head to use all the strength he had against the obtrusive door. “Open!!”
“Alex!” Twilight yelled as his blade was quickly hooked by something while Sunset gasped. That gasp was followed by a couple staggering steps. “I warned you you could have hurt someone!”
“I’m trying to get us out of here!” Alex hissed, whirling around to confront Twilight. His anger bled out, eyes locked onto the object in Twilight’s hands.
Twilight followed Alex’s gaze down, having acted without even thinking about what she was doing, or trying to do. She gasped at the sight of the keyblade that had manifested in her hand, one whose body was the same shade of purple as the primary color of her mane, or hair, with six brilliant pink gems separated into two groups of three, each the same color as the primary star that formed the center of her cutie mark. Three of them were arranged into a cross at the tip, with a silver circle connecting the spaces between them and reaching around for a space that looked to be left open for a fourth at the top, a seventh gem in total. The other three were arranged in an almost crown-like way along the top of the guard, and where the guard met the body of the blade, and the grip itself was silver as well. A small keychain dangled from the bottom of the guard, with three much smaller gems surrounded by more of the purple material into a vaguely heart-like shape.
On the floor between the two of them was a scattering of red and yellow hairs. “I-I was just going to pull him away and give him a hug. I didn’t see it coming…”
“Jesus... I-I’m sorry.” Alex let Aubade slip from his hands and allowed himself to slide down against the door. “God, Sunset, I’m sorry.” Placing his head in his hands, he let out a shaky breath.
“I-I’m okay, it’s just hair.” Her voice was shaky still, and she walked back up to him quickly. “I just forgot blade safety 101 is all. Never get within the possible swing arc.”
None of them had really noticed the absence of sound from above after Trixie’s song ended, and even the five native to this world utterly ignored a different bass beat starting up as they were still caught up in their ongoing arguing.
“It’s okay, nobody got hurt.” Twilight knelt down to pick Aubade up and hand it back to Alex. “We don’t have a lot of room in here, that’s why I told you not to.”
Alex took it from her, eyeing it critically. “Yeah well, that doesn’t excuse me acting like a psycho.” Shifting his gaze back to Twilight, he paused. “Hey uh, anyone else see the weird green mist or am I having a mental breakdown?”
Sunset looked around, and her eyes opened wide as she observed the green glow suffusing the air around the Rainbooms and rising up through the cracks in the ceiling that formed the stage’s trapdoor. “They‘re after our magic! You have to stop fighting!”
“There was nothing in the literature about the sirens being able to absorb magic...how could that have gone unnoticed?”
Applejack scoffed, turning her ire to Sunset. “And how could they do that? Our magic is the magic of friendship”
“Ever since you started this band you’ve been letting little things get to you. I never said anything because I didn’t feel like it was my place, not when I’m still so new to the whole ‘friendship’ thing.” Sunset paused for a moment to look back over her shoulder at Alex and Twilight. “I still have a lot to learn, but I now know that if you don’t work out the problems right at the start, then this magic of friendship can clearly turn into something else. Something wrong.”
“I’m sorry, I knew things weren’t going well but I didn’t try and fix it.” Twilight sighed, letting her body sag. “I was so caught up trying to get the counterspell just right. I thought if I could get it ready, we’d just work it all out.”
“Well it’s not like you could have know this was a worse situation than any other argument between friends, Twilight.” Alex offered. “Sure it was more annoying than usual, but that’s what arguments are for outsiders: annoying.”
Sunset placed a hand on Twilight’s shoulder. “That’s another thing, and I know this applies to me as well, friends should be able to see when someone’s in over their head and offer to help. I should have offered my advice about the counterspell after that first session in the barn. Nobody has all the right answers, and pinning all of it on you wasn’t really fair of any of us. You’re supposed to be able to find the friend that has the right answer, or hope that you can all find it together.”
“Is this a bad time to remind you guys that I had the right answer from the start, or are you going to keep ignoring the little guy because it’s disrupting your ‘girl talk?’”
“He’s got a point.”
“Ah’m sorry ya’ll.”
“I can make apology cupcakes!”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! We can’t be doing all this apologizing stuff now!” Dash pulled Fluttershy and Rarity close, grinning cockily. “We’re the Rainbooms! Are we gonna let some fish brainwash our school?”
“NO!” They all said in unison, except Alex, who added a ‘fuck’ at the beginning.
“Then let’s break down that door and get out there so we can fight them, stop them, and kick their scaly butts!”
“Rainbow Dash, dear, as much as am for taking back our school, we’re still trapped in here,” Rarity said, pointing to the door.
“I think Alex and I have a solution to that problem.” Twilight held her keyblade up and pointed it towards the door where a couple slash marks were evident. “Maybe without the argument distracting us we can cut through it this time with Aubade and…” She paused and looked over at Alex. “Is mine one that you know the name of from the game series, or is it something new that I have to name for myself?”
“Sign of Innocence,” Alex answered after a beat, gripping Aubade with both hands. “I think that’s one that fits you well. Everyone else, stand back.” Stepping forward, he slashed the door again. “Get in a tempo with me, Twi.”
Twilight nodded and adjusted her grip so the keyblade felt comfortable in her hands the same way it had in her magic. She then copied Alex’s form as much as possible, and channeled all the frustration she’d been feeling about the counterspell into each swing. “You got it, Alex.”
In almost no time, the two of them managed to cut through most of the door, allowing in a rush of cooler night air. The two of them began focusing their cuts with that breach as the center, and it wasn’t long before the wood began to creak and split under its own weight. The section with the doorknob fell in first, seemingly freeing them, and Twilight slammed her shoulder into the door only to still bounce off and stagger backwards...as the door swung open inwards.
“Uh, everyone okay in there?” Spike’s voice came from outside.
An alabaster girl with blue hair waved, her eyes hidden behind a pair of shades.
“Ow...” was Alex’s only response.
“I’m okay.” Twilight stated quickly before reaching out and pulling the door open the rest of the way. “Spike? Thank Celestia you’re safe, but what took so long? Where have you been?”
“I had to find someone who wasn’t under the sirens’ control, and apparently she just never takes off her headphones.” Spike pointed back at the girl behind him. “Looks like you guys figured...oh, neat, Twilight. You got your own keyblade like Alex’s.”
“Y-yeah. It really saved the day in here, I guess.” Twilight almost seemed bashful about it in front of Spike. “Anyways, we’re free now, so how are we going to beat the sirens?”
“What we have in store. All we want and more. We will break on through! Now it’s time to finish you!” The Dazzlings sang out from where they were floating on stage, and their eyes began glowing red as their gemstone chokers flared. Monstrous magical constructs formed as the three sisters raised their hands to the sky, and the Rainbooms all fell silent for a moment in shock.
“Uh, Twilight, I think it’s time for plan K. Sunset and the girls should keep singing while you and I use our keyblades to take out the gems. That’s clearly the source of their powers.” Alex fumbled a bit with the replacement coat Rarity had made for him as he stepped back to the white car the mystery girl had brought along to help, holding out the spare microphone to her. “Thanks but, I think the time to mash X has arrived.”
Twilight nodded and let go of the microphone she was sharing with Sunset. She smiled at the former troublemaker and nodded resolutely in response to Alex. “I think that’s a great idea, Alex.”
“Go save the day, Princess.” Sunset smiled as she took a deep breath before bellowing out a death-metal roar that really didn’t fit with the song they were singing, but managed to push back all three approaching monstrous seahorses for a few seconds. The star-shaped metal studs in the space-themed dress Rarity had made twinkled in the lights of Vinyl’s car, and the sequins forming her stylized sun mark scattered more light all around.
This was followed by Pinkie finally breaking the trance that had seemed to come over the group and start playing the drums again, and that seemed to break the rest out of it as Twilight and Alex started racing for the stage with their keyblades forming in their hands.
“Just the chokers, you really think that will work Alex?” Twilight asked as they ran.
Alex shrugged. “Even if it doesn’t, we’ll be right up in their face with keyblades to smack them down.” He looked over at Twilight again. “Hey, do your wings work, or are they just decorative on this side?”
“Oh no, they work.” Twilight demonstrated by giving them a flap and hovering in the air.
“Then how about you carry me and we make use of them? It’ll be better than trying to move through the crowd at the stage, faster getting there than just running too!” He quickly moved over to Twilight’s side, and she slowed down a little to match his pace before scooping him up in her arms and taking off.
It took Twilight a moment to adjust to his added weight. She grunted, beating her wings hard. “Be ready, something tells me they aren’t going to give up easily.” With a final burst of speed, she reached the stage and released her grip on Alex.
Aria hissed as they landed, immediately throwing out what looked like a burst of watery magic. “Keyblades. We should have known there would be keyblades involved when it came to getting back some of our power. You won’t stop us!”
Alex rolled to the side, suddenly wishing he had magic of his own. “You fucking brainwashed me!”
“You lied to my sister!” Aria threw another blast of magic out at Alex’s legs, this one looking more like fire.
“You screwed with my head!” Alex leapt over the magic, hurling Aubade at Aria. “Brought up shit I buried!”
Aria ducked, but the hurled keyblade slashed through one of the fins that had grown from her back, causing her to let out a shriek of pain as she flew forward. “If it weren’t for Sonata objecting, you’d be buried! You should be thanking that moron!”
“The hell is wrong with you?” Closing the distance, Alex’s fist connected with Aria’s jaw. “You kill happy psycho.”
“It’s survival, kid!” Aria ignored the punch and brought her clawed hands around to scratch at his face, then summoned a glob of water to hold in front of his mouth. “We’ve been starving for centuries on this world, and now we can finally access our full power, and you were putting this in jeopardy!”
Another burst of water curled around Aria’s leg and pulled her off of Alex even as it climbed up and began healing her shredded fin. “NO! No killing, Aria. Drive him off!” Sonata’s voice was clear enough, and drew Alex’s attention across the stage briefly.
Twilight and Adagio were locked in combat together in a complete stalemate. Each time Twilight swung her keyblade it was met with a matching slash from a clawed hand, and the few cuts she’d managed to inflict were also being healed by a stream of water that led back to Sonata.
Alex coughed, stumbling backwards. Recalling Aubade to his hand, he took a step closer. “I don’t care if you’re starving or not. I’m not going to let you play any more mind games.”
“You don’t care? What a surprise, neither did the pony who banished us!” Aria roared as she closed back in and lashed out with three swift strikes at Alex’s head and neck. “He didn’t care about anything but himself!”
Pain coursed through Alex as Aria’s claws cut him across the forehead. “Maybe if you tried to find another solution that didn’t involve mind fucking everyone around you, this wouldn’t be an issue!” He thrust forward, Aubade’s teeth grazing Aria’s side.
“Our father was dying! Our mother was starving herself for him!” Aria sucked in a breath and ignored the pain as she lashed out again, her claws raking at Alex’s extended arms. This was followed by a loud scream full of concentrated magic that slammed into Alex like a hard kick. “We were just trying to save our family!”
Tumbling away, Aubade spun out of his hands. Alex trembled, his arms warm with blood. Ignoring the ringing in his ears, he pushed himself up. “Ends never justify the means, Fish-Bitch.”
Aria let out a bitter laugh as she floated forward and used another burst of magic to knock the keyblade further away. “You have no idea what we actually did back home, do you? That asshole probably claimed he’d banished a ‘great evil’ didn’t he?”
“I don’t know, I’m not from there.” Alex glared up at her, holding onto his bleeding arm. “What are you going to do this time? Make me think I’m a high schooler? Oh, maybe you need a maid? You seem like the slave keeping type.”
“You don’t know a damn thing about me, other than that I helped Adagio subdue you when we saw through your ruse.” Aria sneered as she leaned over him. “You’re subdued again, now, so I’m done. Go back to your mother.” She reached up and tugged at her choker, then sighed. “Still stuck…”
A slow smirk crossed his face, even as he opened the hand on his uninjured arm. “Considering you know what a keyblade is, you should know I’m not disarmed.” Aubade reappeared in his hand and he gave her no chance to retaliate. Thrusting it towards her neck, a thin beam of light emitted from the tip of the blade, striking the gem.
Aria let out a choked gasp and fell backwards as the choker unsealed itself from around her neck, clattering on the stage and emitting a gentle purple glow. Interestingly, nothing changed about the way she looked, other than the fact that she was slightly more pale. She curled up into a ball and began groaning in pain while clutching her stomach.
“Aria!” Sonata raced over and seemed to completely disregard Alex as she knelt down next to her sister and began looking for a wound to heal. “Hang on, hang on. I’ll get you healed, I can do that again!”
“I got her necklace off,” Alex commented, leveling Aubade at Sonata. “Yours too.” Forcing down his guilt, he shot another beam at Sonata’s choker. “If it matters, I’m sorry I lied.”
Sonata jerked and gasped as that beam hit her choker. Staying upright, she caught her choker as it began to glow blue, and immediately wrapped it around Aria’s neck. The other siren stopped groaning and gasped as energy began to flow back into her.
Sonata giggled as she started to sag, bringing one hand up to caress Aria’s cheek. “I gave you mine. Collect and share, remember? It’s been...so long. I finally got to give all that hate it wouldn’t let me eat to someone else.”
Aria moved quickly to catch her falling sister, and looked around for her own removed choker. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, Adagio, surrender! They can get these things off and we can finally feel full again!”
“What?! These things have been stuck since we got here. There’s no way they’d come loose now!” Adagio had been pushed back as Twilight grew more confident in swinging the keyblade, and each attack she attempted was now being deflected instead of the other way around.
“Twilight! Point Sign at her choker and make it unlock the damn thing!” Alex dismissed Aubade, swaying ever so slightly. “So uh... can you do your Avatar water healing on me, or is that just limited to other fish people?”
Aria looked at Alex like he’d grown an extra head before shaking her own. “I can’t do the healing thing, never learned how. Sonata’s great at it and Adagio could always fill in if Sonata was asleep or something.” Aria’s hand found the choker that had been removed from her, and she tossed it over towards where Adagio and Twilight were fighting. “Adagio, hurry up! Sonata’s gonna die!”
The glowing stone caught Adagio’s attention, and she scrambled for it immediately at the cost of another few slashes before Twilight realized this wasn’t an attack and backed off. “I surrender! I surrender!”
“Twilight! Unlock the damn thing!” Alex shouted, doing his best to ignore the blood flowing into his eyes.
Twilight nodded and held Sign of Innocence out towards Adagio’s neck, the tip of her keyblade within an inch of the necklace before a thin beam of light shot out and the enchanted silk loosened.
Adagio actually began crying as she pulled the loosened artifact off her neck and threw it over to Aria, then brought Aria’s up to her neck and held it in place. She immediately slumped as all of the tension in her body flowed out and old aches began to be soothed.
Aria caught the now-yellow gem and slapped it in place against Sonata’s neck, not even taking care to use less force as any hurt she caused was going to be healed immediately. Sonata’s skin lightened within a second, and she started breathing regularly again.
“Thanks kid...fuck me. If I’d known a keyblade could fix a broken locking enchantment I’d have told my sisters to surrender the second you set foot on the stage.”
Letting himself fall back, Alex didn’t respond. Bringing a hand up, he wiped the blood from his eyes. A cold clinical haze seized his mind, telling him just how bad his wounds were. How long he’d have to bleed out, if any arteries had been nicked.
Adagio stood up slowly and held her hands up as she walked over to sit with Aria at Sonata’s side. After a few seconds of chatter between the two of them, Adagio sent out a small gush of green-tinted water that seeped into Alex’s wounds and began to heal them. “You...we hurt you the other day, and yet you rescued us while we tried to drive you off again.”
Sonata came back around after a minute or so, a bright smile on her face. “We’re free!” Wrapping her arms around both Aria and Adagio, Sonata began laughing with raw, unbridled joy. “We’re finally free!”
Alex gave a thumbs up before laying his hand back down. “Honestly? I just wanted to hit you a lot. Still do.” Closing his eyes, he let the strange numbing touch of the water sweep over him. “We all just got lucky.”
“All because I decided to check and see if maybe all this energy had fixed the broken things. I want to go home so we can take them off forever.” Aria looked up at Twilight, her normally-hard face looking almost pleading. “Please tell me we can go home again, at least for a little while?”
Pulling away from her sisters, Sonata bowed her head. “C-can we ask for pardons? I-I just... I wanna say goodbye to our parents. I-I they... you know but...” She fought back a sob, hugging herself.
Adagio pulls Sonata back into a hug, but stays silent for a while in thought. “I don’t think I deserve to go back home. I’m the one who convinced you to wear these for mom in the first place. I’d miss you two, but I should probably stay here for the time being. Maybe we can meet again in another thousand years for a while, or whenever the worlds connect again.”
Pushing himself to his feet, Alex grabbed Adagio’s shirt and pulled her down to his level. “Don’t you ever, ever abandon family. Your scaly ass is going back through that portal. We clear?” He pushed her away, and rested a hand on Sonata’s shoulder. “Go say bye to your dad, okay?”
“We can’t all leave forever. I’ve got a couple businesses to run here, or at least arrange to transfer control.” Aria shifted uncomfortably as she said this. “How long does the portal open for, or do you have some kind of spell you can cast that allows you to return?”
“I will, and thank you, Alex. This...this means everything.”
Nodding absentmindedly, Alex walked off the stage. Finding a nice spot away from any prying eyes, he allowed his emotions to pour out. An envious thought wormed through his head, feasting on nurtured resentment. “I hate you, Dad,” he whispered to himself, desperately trying to wrap his mind around the idea that someone had a father they’d risk everything to save.
Sonata shifted on her hooves, keeping her focus on the guard ahead of her. It had taken a day or two to readjust to non-human bodies, though in Sonata’s mind it was a worthy trade off to get her real magic back. She and her sisters had foregone their true forms for those of ponies, if only to not cause a panic. Sonata and Aria had both assumed the form of earth ponies, while Adagio insisted that she not appear as anything other than a unicorn, even if their appearances didn’t change their abilities at all.
The fact that the three of them were standing before Princess Celestia wasn’t a surprise at all, nor was the presence of Princess Luna. The presence of a new alicorn, other than Twilight, and her husband was a bit of a surprise for them at first, but that had quickly lost its novelty. What made Sonata keep fidgeting, aside from a creeping sense of boredom, was the fact that she couldn’t tell if a corner of the throne room was just poorly-lit, or if there was something standing in the shadows watching her and her sisters.
“The sirens have explained to me how their amulets work, Celestia, and I agree that their intent when they set out was good, and their main source of food being the darker emotions didn’t exactly leave them many options but to use the amulets. Their mother, Prelude Dawn, was using up a week’s worth of this emotional food in a day to try and cure a disease their father, a unicorn named Ocean Spirit, had come down with.”
“The amulets are enchanted so that they can absorb and store far more energy than any one siren could obtain, or digest, in a day. This energy is then released slowly over time at a rate that is just enough to keep a siren active and able to continue drawing in energy as needed. If the amulets are removed and then given to a different siren, say one that was sick or malnourished, the amulets pour enough energy into the siren to feed them for at least a day as well as burning excess energy to attempt to remove whatever the disease may be.”
“These do not work on ponies, as our bodies can’t turn emotions into food the way a siren or a changeling can,” Twilight continued, reading from her copy of the notes she’d written down about them. “A siren wearing an amulet that she used to collect the energy with will never feel satisfied as long as they wear the amulet. The amulets are also the key to making ponies feel darker emotions more intensely to enhance how much food may be obtained, and not something that all sirens can do naturally.”
“And these statements have been made within a truth detection spell?” Luna spoke up, her eyes squinting slightly as she stared at the three ‘ancient evils.’ “This does not seem to match up with the account found of his combat with them in his journals.”
Adagio bristled at that, opening her mouth to say something before lowering her head instead. She whispered to her sisters sadly as the thought crossed her mind that Twilight might be the exception to the prejudice. “I’m sorry girls. I really did doom us.”
“That’s correct, Luna.” Shining Armor spoke up, stepping forward from his place. “I cast the spell myself and the only time they even hesitated was when I asked them for their parents’ names so we could see if there was any record of a burial. I-I’ve never seen three ponies go from calm to crying so fast in my life.”
“You won’t find them in any pony place,” Aria said, shaking her head. “Our grandmother was Queen Savage Rondo. They were most likely laid to rest in the reef. Even if she was disowned for outright marrying a landbound pony, they wouldn’t insult her memory by not treating her body with respect.”
“Thank you, Aria.” Celestia’s voice was calm and understanding. “I’m ashamed to admit that we didn’t even know there was anything more than a scattering of your kind in the world, certainly not enough for a kingdom. I would appreciate your help in establishing some diplomatic ties, if you feel able once we are done here.”
Adagio snorted, holding back a glare. “After that racist asshole threw us into another world, told everyone how ‘evil’ sirens were? There’s a reason you didn’t know and Starswirl is the reason.” She spat on the floor, sneering at the name.
“I see. I can’t say that I like hearing him spoken of with such open hostility, but I cannot dispute your account of events when all three of you were examined separately and the only deviations were from... Sonata describing the differences between how emotions and food taste.” Celestia held a few sheets of parchment up in her magic, pulling them from the small pile of documents in front of the royal dais. “Apparently loathing has an aftertaste that’s like chocolate?”
Adagio facehooved while Sonata giggled at that. “I’m sorry, she has trouble taking things seriously at times.”
Alex groaned as he stood up. “Could we maybe get to the point?” One hand reached down to his stomach as it tightened somewhat. “I don’t think my breakfast is agreeing with me and I’d like to go lay down at home.”
“Let me see. Over a thousand years in exile. Loss of time with family... You’ve expressed remorse for manipulating the emotions of the ponies in the past, and your cause was of a somewhat noble nature.” Celestia began listing an array of qualifiers and indications of good or poor behavior during the short time they’d been back. “And the final, most important thing of all... Alex, is it true that these three stopped fighting as soon as it was made clear to them that there was a peaceful way to conclude things? One that would not result in the loss of a life?”
“Yeah, they gave up instantly,” Alex agreed with a nod. “Even healed our wounds.”
“Very well, then I personally see no reason they shouldn’t be allowed to reenter Equestria as citizens with the full rights thereof as long as they abide by our laws in the future. That does mean no more using the amulets to manipulate emotions outside of emergencies.” Celestia responded. “Does anypony object to the verdict?”
“Their punishment was far too severe to begin with. Twilight, is there any restriction on keeping the portal open with your machine?” Luna asked after making her opinion known.
Twilight shock her head. “The journal will need time to recharge every so often, but there shouldn’t be any problems using it.”
Alex snapped his fingers. “Oh, right, journal!” He turned and pointed at Celestia. “Can you still make those? I want to keep in touch with the Rarity on the other side without having to cross over and risk ending up in a dress every time I do.”
“You’ll have to go over in person once more at least to properly attune the books. The spell requires some hair, blood, or other ‘sample’ of the one it’s attuned to, and both books need to be attuned together. I suppose I could give you a set of instructions to follow and you’d have to hope for the best.”
“So, wait, does this mean we get to stay in either world or travel between them as much as we want?” Sonata finally spoke up, her voice full of hope.
“There’s always room in my castle,” Twilight offered, giving the sirens a smile. “It’s pretty empty now, I’d love to liven it up a little.”
“YAAAAAY!” Sonata danced in place for a few seconds, then leaped over to give Alex a hug that was a little stronger than he would have liked. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Sonata, let him go!” Aria finally managed to pull her sister away after a minute, but she did smile and nod at Alex over her shoulder as she walked back to Adagio’s side.
“You’re welcome,” Alex replied, smiling back. A moment later, said smile dropped and he went back to nursing his stomach. “So... can we go home now?”
“Of course, Alex. Let’s get you home so you can rest, and then I can help get the girls settled into a room in the castle.” Twilight smiled. And began charging a spell before looking over towards Celestia, Luna, and Cadance. “Thank you.”
“We’ll need one with access to a large tub. Now that we’re back home we’ll need to either stay wet or well-hydrated.”
“Like you have a problem staying wet, Adagio.”
“Oh, wow, I walked right into that one.”
Twilight blushed and completed the teleportation spell before any of the sirens could say anything else, crude or otherwise.
Fluttershy hummed, placing a freshly washed plate onto the clean stack. Grabbing another from the dirty pile, she glanced towards the direction of Alex’s room. His complaints of a stomach ache bothered her so much that she checked each dish for anything that could have caused it.
“What do you think, Angel?” Fluttershy asked, turning to watch the bunny bring over some of the animals dishes. “Did I add anything bad to Alex’s breakfast yesterday? He’s usually up before now.”
Angel shrugged and pointed at a picture of a cucumber, then mimed choking and fell over clutching his stomach.
“Just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean it’s bad for everypony, Angel.” She chided the bunny while looking up towards the ceiling. “You don’t suppose it was that appendix disease, do you? I should probably go wake him up and check.”
Angel frowned and pointed at the dishes, then started tapping his foot.
“Oh hush mister. The dishes will still be there in a few minutes, or an hour, and we have enough washed for all of you to have clean ones at lunch anyways.” Fluttershy walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs to the small guest room that had become Alex’s, and she knocked softly on the door. “A-Alex? It’s morning. You must be hungry by now. Please come downstairs and eat something, even if you’re not feeling well.”
“I feel like crap,” Alex replied through the door. “Don’t wanna leave the bed.” Something impacted the door, most likely Alex’s pillow.
“It’s not your appendix, is it?” Fluttershy opened the door slowly and paused as soon as the air of the room hit her face carrying a coppery tang. “A-Alex, why do I smell blood in the air? You didn’t look hurt when you came home...”
“Blood? Why would you smell blood? Aria healed all my...” Alex went silent, slowly sitting up.
“I didn’t smell it the other day, no.” She approached slowly and nudged her head against Alex’s side. “Oh, it’s definitely coming from you, dear. Come on, get up. Let’s get yo-”
A shrill scream erupted from Alex’s mouth, followed by a desperate scramble out of bed. Knocking Fluttershy over, he ran out of the bedroom. A few moments later the bathroom door slammed shut.
“Alex!” Fluttershy scrambled to her hooves only to slip and fall as her rear legs tangled in the blanket for a few seconds.She kicked her legs free and fluttered up in the air for a moment to reorient herself. Her eyes shot wide as she caught sight of a large red smear in the middle of the bedsheets. “ALEX! Discord! Alex is hurt!”
“What’s this about our favorite human being hurt?” Discord asked as his head appeared from behind Fluttershy’s ear.
Fluttershy merely pointed to the bloody sheets with one foreleg. “He didn’t come down for breakfast, so I came up to make sure it wasn’t something serious. I smelled blood, and the second I touched him he screamed and ran into the bathroom. He’s hurt.”
Discord’s mouth moved into an ‘o’. “Rest assured my dear, he’s not hurt at all.”
“But...but blood, scream, panic. He ran right over me as if I wasn’t right next to him! How could he not be hurt?”
Standing up, Discord pet Fluttershy’s mane assuringly. “He’s merely suffering from an unfortunate part of human reproduction.” Grumbling, he stroked his goatee. “Something both he and I should have remembered.”
Fluttershy sputtered. “R-reproduction?! B-but he said he didn’t do anything over there like that! Twilight said he was always with someone who would watch him...except for the part...” Her expression turned stony and harsh. “Adagio and the others have some explaining to do!”
Discord put a talon to her mouth. “No, Fluttershy. Your little colt isn’t expecting nor did he engage in things he promised he wouldn’t do. I believe a biology lesson is in order.” He smiled, sporting a lab coat, flanked on either side by charts. One depicted a pony and the other a human. He then went over all of the details about the differences between female ponies and female humans when it came to reproduction. “And that’s why our little boy has bloody sheets and is freaking out like he’s had a bad reaction to something he’d know as ‘Acid.’”
“That sounds quite uncomfortable for him.“ Fluttershy had her tail tucked firmly between her legs. “I wish we could do something to stop such an unpleasant thing.”
Moving past her, he made his way to the bathroom. “Alex? Do you need me to conjure anything up?”
“Go ‘way...”
“Come on now, you can’t stay in there forever.” Discord frowned, phasing his head through the door. “Now then-” He immediately pulled back with a yelp, followed by a heavy thunk coming from the bathroom door as something embedded itself in the wood.
“Leave me alone!”
“He just threw Aubade at me...” Discord slumped against the far wall. “I-I thought we’d really hit it off.”
“I think you still need to work on respecting privacy,” Fluttershy said, standing next to him.
“Think he’d respond any better to another human talking to him about this? I mean a real human, not you or me turned into one. Oh, we could try that sometime.”
“Dissy, now’s not really the time for talking about that.”
“Right. Right.” Discord nodded, coiling around Fluttershy. “I could get one of those doppelgangers from the mirror world. Maybe one of the fish? No, no, they won’t do...” Opening a hole in the wall, he reached in. “Has to be something in here...”
Fluttershy was used to Discord’s antics, but this time she could actually see into the hole he opened. “Oh my, what is all that?”
“Oh, that’s just my little home away from home,” he replied, pulling out a little spider statue. “Aha! This will do~ Now then, strange spider thing, I call upon thee for a very icky task.” That said he slammed the figurine against the floor and snapped all eight legs off of it.
The sky outside turned red briefly, and there was a loud sound of rushing wind before something started tumbling down the cottage roof and landed with a thud on the ground outside. A raspy voice called out in shock. “Who the hell calls someone from inside a tiny house like this?”
A different voice groaned. “Get off me first, complain later, Liz. You weigh around eight hundred pounds, remember?”
“Discord?” Fluttershy questioned, gingerly stepping down the stairs and towards the front door. “Who did... who’s outside?”
“Well, the voice in the spider said it was a paramedic when I picked it up during my rummaging. I figured a medical mind might be helpful.”
A few seconds passed before a knock came from the front door, followed by the second, smoother voice. “Um, hello? Did someone use a crystal spider or a crystal zerg drone in there? Someone called upon us.”
Grabbing Fluttershy, Discord walked through the door. “Yes, hi. That would be me. I’m Discord and this lovely mare is my main squeeze, Fluttershy. We have a bit of an... emergency.”
On the other side were two roughly human-shaped figures, one either made of metal or wearing an intricate suit of armor and the other covered in what looked like bony armor. “Uh, okay then.” The metal one spoke up. “Please state the nature of the medical emergency.”
The other one gently smacked the back of the metal one’s head. “Liz, not funny. Just because he sounds like Q doesn’t mean this is the time for jokes.” She sighed and stepped forward, offering her hand. “My name’s Sarah, this is my sister, Liz. What can we do for you?” She did her best to downplay the sharp talons at the end of her fingers, and the bony wings on her back curled in tight in an effort to minimize how threatening she might look.
Discord leaned in, scrutinizing them closely. “Well you see, our son Alex is having a very... female problem at the moment. Considering we’re not human and Shy’s never had the misfortune of going through it, we decided to call you two in.”
“Your son is having female problems... could you give us just a little background info? Trouble with a mare he likes or an inadequacy or something?” Liz asked while rubbing the side of her head.
Discord merely held up Alex’s bloody sheets.
“Oh. Right. That female problem.” Liz almost looked a little hurt at the sight and sighed. “Well, biology and organic issues are your deal now, Sarah, even if I have a bit more experience. It sounds like your perspective on things might be an even better reason, too.”
“Gee, thanks.” Sarah rolled her eyes at Liz, but smiled as she knelt down to look into Fluttershy’s eyes. “So, how old is your son and how long has he been here? I assume he’s like us, someone who got turned into some character they either love or were dressed up as?”
Fluttershy nodded. “He used to be twenty-five but now he’s fourteen, he’s been here for about a week and a half.”
Sarah stood up and closed her eyes. “Great, I’m going to be talking to some dudebro shoved into a teenage girl’s body. Well, I guess this is where having been in a fraternity will come in handy.”
Fluttershy bristled, glaring at Sarah. “I don’t know what a ‘dudebro’ is, but that isn’t what Alex is! I’d prefer if you didn’t refer to him so dismissively!”
Sarah held a hand up in front of her. “Okay, okay. I was making an assumption based on what I’ve run into in the past back home. My real home, not this whole...nevermind. Sorry, things have been confusing in our life recently and this whole situation is still rather new to us, all things considered. How about you just show me where he is and I’ll try not to scrape the woodwork too much, okay?”
“Okay,” Fluttershy said curtly. She turned her back to Sarah, walking back inside the cottage.
“One thing, scary lady.” Discord leaned into Sarah’s face. “You’re here to help him. If you happen to do the opposite well...” he snapped his talons, putting bits of cork on all her pointy bits. “Understand?”
Sarah idly flicked the bits of cork off the tips of her fingers. “I could do without the threats, papa wolf. I’m not going to intentionally hurt your adult child, and I have more experience with this kind of thing than you do. You of all people should understand the chances for unintended consequences.”
“As long as we’re clear.” Discord patted Sarah on the back, sending her directly to the bathroom door. “Just call if you need anything!”
Sarah stumbled for a moment, but she quickly regained her balance and knocked on the bathroom door. “Hello, Alex? Friendly neighborhood alien lady here to console and/or coach you through a difficult period in your... oh damn. Difficult time in your life? Look, can I just come in?”
“Who the hell are you supposed to be?” Alex demanded.
“Someone who knows a bit about what you’re going through right now. Someone who can possibly offer a few ways to fix things too, if you know anything about the zerg. I can put a couple great minds towards making some improvements for you.”
A long moment passed before the bathroom lock clicked. “Just come in,” he instructed, though he didn’t sound all that sure. Holding Aubade, he watched the door closely from his seat in the bathtub.
Sarah pushed the door open carefully and stepped in slowly while ducking down, since the house wasn’t really built for an adult human. “Okay, introductions. My name is Sarah, and you’re a Displaced. Welcome to the multiverse. Do you have any idea what I would do to have gone through what you are right now as a teenager?”
“Alex Lionheart and uh no, I don’t have any ideas like that.” Alex shrank back in the tub, tightening his grip on Aubade. “The hell’s a displaced?”
Sarah chuckled as she took a seat on the floor. “Displaced are people like you and me, beings sent off into the multiverse as characters from something we enjoy, usually given most of the abilities of those characters. I’m not really the best person to talk to about all the details on that, really, but I am a good person to talk to about what you’re going through. Used to be a guy, got stuck in a female body, rebelling against your hormones, and now suffering the ultimate ‘indignity’ of being in that body... right?”
Letting Aubade vanish, Alex hugged his knees. “I feel like shit,” he replied simply. “I got enough problems as it is.”
Sarah looked around the room and quickly pulled a washcloth down. “Well, I have nothing but time to talk about it. How about you put a little warm water on this and we can start getting your legs cleaned up, okay?”
“Right...” Gingerly taking the rag from her, he used the tub’s faucet to dampen it. Putting his back to her, he started to scrub his legs.
“Hey, Alex, not to be callous or anything, but you haven’t got anything I haven’t seen before. I used to have a wife, and two kids. I’ve literally seen everything a human body can have. I’m also not interested in children, so no need to be bashful since we’re both adults.” She managed to sound quite tired already. “Only reason I’m not volunteering to help you directly is I don’t want to poke you with these claws.”
“Right, right.” It took everything her had to reorient himself back towards her. “I just... I dunno.” He fought off a blush, trying not to look at her.
“What? Is it something else? I used to be just as male in body as your mind still is, judging by your parents downstairs calling you their son.” Sarah smiled as she tried to get Alex to talk, but it was a smile that kept her teeth covered by her lips.
“Yeah?” Alex asked, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. “How’d that work out for ya?”
“I hated almost every second of it. Had a few happy ones while I was married, but I was always a woman on the inside. It puts me in a unique position to talk with you about your issues since I’ve been in that position of hating how I look and wanting to change it.”
Alex didn’t reply, merely scrubbing his legs off. He didn’t know how to respond, much less piece together the disparate feelings he harbored on his new form. Turning his gaze away, he tried not to think on it.
“So, what’s your deal? I’m picking up anime vibes and I’m pretty sure that was a keyblade, but I don’t recognize who you’re supposed to be.” Sarah changed topics, but a frown formed on her face. “Locking things up inside never ends well, you know.”
“Xion, I got turned into Xion,” Alex said, frowning. “I’ve kept a lot of stuff inside, spike lady. Stuff I don’t like talking about.”
“I could say the same thing about my past, Alex, lotsa things happened that either really sucked or left me broken in spirit. Talking helps, even if it just feels like you’re poking an open wound. It’s better to reopen and irrigate than to allow things to fester.”
“I don’t...” Alex began before the words dried in his throat. Trying again, he got a few more words out. “I don’t know how to feel.”
“About what? Your new life? New body? New world? There’s a bunch you don’t know right now, Alex, and a lot of it is going to be confusing for you, even when it’s not related to your body.”
Blushing a little, he looked at the wall. “When we went through that mirror, it turned my coat into a dress. I-I kinda liked it.”
“Mirror, okay, I’ll have to keep an eye out for that on my side. So what do you feel that means for you exactly if you liked wearing a dress? I bet it was confusing for you, feeling happy with something you aren’t ‘supposed’ to do.”
“Made me feel like my old man was going to give me another black eye,” he replied, feeling his eye twitch again. “Yell at me for choosing to play something other than whatever he bought me.”
“Sounds like your old man deserved a sulfuric acid enema.” Sarah shook her head quickly. “No, sorry, sorry. That was a bit extreme. Too much of an insult for the acid.”
“Too good for him,” Alex scoffed, clenching his fist. “Fuck him. I hope his broken liver puts him in the goddamn ground!”
Sarah smiled sadly at this. “That’s more like it. I bet he was a construction worker or something, wasn’t he? Some throwback to the old guard of manliness where if you were anything less than 100% testosterone with duct tape for skin you were useless, right? I had a roommate like that, didn’t understand why a ‘man’ would want to be a pharmacist instead of a football player.”
“I fucking hate his guts.” Alex resumed scrubbing furiously at his legs. “Every night I have his stupid face in my dreams, taunting me about who I am now. It never fucking stops!”
“Ah, dream issues. Those are always fun. Unfortunately, without being a lucid dreamer you’re pretty much helpless to the images your mind conjures up, and I left my lucid dreaming book back home on Earth. I could give you a few tips on visualizing your goals, and how to meditate, but with a mind in turmoil both of those can be uncomfortable.”
Shoulders sagging, Alex let the rag fall some his hands. “You wanna know the worst part?”
“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”
“Being like this... I-it just feels... I dunno... right?” he asked in a small voice, hugging his knees again. “Bet he’s just laughing his ass off at me now. Everything he ever said was dead on.”
“You know what I say to that, Alex? I say enjoy it. If you really want to piss your old man off, enjoy what you’ve been forced into. Dive in headfirst and splash around in Estrogen River and flip him off every night before you fall asleep. If it feels right, and it makes you feel good, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone else...fuck those who judge.”
“You say that like it’s easy,” Alex grumbled, putting his head in his hands.
“I say that like it’s a goal to strive for. It took me until I was in my thirties to come to terms with who I am, and the day after I told my wife I wanted to transition she filed for divorce. Then she demanded sole custody, and claimed I had been abusing and molesting our children. We’ve both been hurt by people we cared for, and I’m going to be brutally honest here...it’s going to take years. I can help you only so much, like I’m sure you’ve heard many times before.”
“I’m just glad you aren’t treating me like a child like everyone else here.” Closing his eyes, Alex let himself slide down into the tub. “Why’s shit gotta be so complicated?”
Sarah shrugged. “You’re only one year away from being considered an adult where we come from, but I get the feeling I’ve been called a fair bit into the future, and beyond that you used to be 25 so treating you like a child would just be rude. As for complications...that’s just life.”
Alex snorted, turning to her. “Yeah well, I guess I’ll just have to deal. So uh... what do you recommend now that I’m not covered in blood?”
“Fresh clothes and a bit of perfume or soap to hide the scent, because you do still have the smell on you, or you could take a shower before the clothes. You do have spare clothes, right? Spare underwear at least? My sister and I kinda lucked out on that front what with me not needing clothes and her being incompatible with fabric in general now, but someone like you? Unless your version of Equestria has pantyliners for no real reason, you’re going to need some rags.”
“Ugh and we were just in that weird human world too.” Alex groaned, rubbing his head. “I’m gonna have to go right back. Fuck.” Sitting up, he nodded to the door. “Alright then, uh, mind if I take that shower then?”
“I’ll be downstairs with your parents and my sister, waiting. Feel free to wear whatever you like when you come down.” Sarah stood up and maneuvered her way out the door of the bathroom, closing it behind herself and leaving Alex with some much-needed privacy.
“Okay... Dive head first into the estrogen river...” Alex muttered to himself, standing at the top of the stairs. He had forgone the normal choice of pants and a t-shirt for one of the dresses that human Rarity had helped him pick out. “Just go down and do it.”
There was some chatter coming from the living room, and the voices sounded like everything was going smoothly. One of the voices was even raspier than Rainbow Dash, and that was most likely the ‘sister’ Sarah had mentioned to him.
Taking another breath, he made his way downstairs. “So uh... what’s everyone talking about? Anything good?”
“Alex!” Fluttershy started running over at the sound of his voice only to skid to a stop as she saw what he was wearing, and tilted her head to the side. “You’re...you’re wearing a dress?”
Discord glared at Sarah and held his paw up. “What did you do to Alex? I thought you said you helped him feel better?!”
“Hey whoa! It’s fine!” Alex shouted, putting his hands up. “Don’t go attacking anybody, Q. I’m wearing this of my own choice.”
Sarah stood up with her hands raised slightly. “Okay, I wasn’t actually expecting you to jump in headfirst today, but please tell me you thought carefully about this first rather than doing it just because someone told you it would be a good thing.”
“Hey, you’re wearing your mother’s colors.” This came from the unknown person to Alex, who looked exactly like a mid-90’s Transformer character. “That shade of yellow with the odd pink flowers. It looks cute.”
“Thanks.” Alex smiled slightly. “Look, my head’s a jumble of stuff so, why not just go headfirst and try and straighten it out?”
“Sounds a lot like a certain someone I know.” The mechanical woman stood up as well and walked right up to Alex. “Name’s Liz, and I can answer pretty much any questions you have about all the plumbing with you new body. Rule #1, carry spares of anything just in case.”
“Uh, right. Nice to meet you, Liz.” Alex looked up at her, offering her his hand. “Thanks for stopping by. So uh, how’s being a robot going? Get that Y2K bug worked out yet?”
“Very funny. I’m trying to be a little more helpful about this than Sarah can be since she never had a chance to go through it.” She took his hand in her own with a surprisingly gentle grip. “I’m serious. Extra panties, just in case. Keep an extra pair of pants somewhere at school just in case. Keep a handful of extra pads with you during it all, and at least one or two with you for the week before you expect it in case your cycle isn’t consistent. It sounds like you didn’t go through anything too painful this time, so if it ever starts feeling painful instead of just uncomfortable. Go. To. The. Doctor.” That last bit is said while gently poking Alex in the sternum with each syllable. “Ovarian cysts are no joke, and they can get huge.”
“Or he could forego pads, or tampons entirely and avoid all the extra garbage by using a menstrual cup. Reusable, and supposedly comfortable after getting used to it, and probably more comfortable than a tampon.” Sarah spoke up. “I may have never gone through it, but I certainly heard enough about it.” Sarah, oddly, had a rather large area around her where none of Fluttershy’s animals could be spotted. Even Angel seemed to stay as far away from her as possible on Fluttershy’s back.
“Just make a list and I’ll make sure he gets everything he needs.” Discord patted Liz on the back. “I’ll even throw in some scrap parts in exchange. Maybe a phaser or two.”
“If you have a pen and some paper I can get right on that.” A talon snap later and Liz was gifted a scroll and quill. “Oh, right, reality warper. I really do need to find a way to display reminders for things like that at some point.”
“There is something that’s a less immediate need, but no less of a major concern.” Sarah cleared her throat. “Kingdom Hearts had a fairly simplistic combat system, but it was a game series with a rather heavy focus on combat... and ambushes. Alex needs to be ready to fight, and able to fight well, at a moment’s notice.”
Fluttershy shifted, making no effort to hide her frown. “Princess Luna wants to train him. I don’t like the idea of putting Alex in harm’s way.”
“Fluttershy, he’s not going to have a choice. Just the fact that he can use a keyblade paints a target on his back that certain creatures can detect from miles away, and you won’t be able to do a thing about them.” Sarah sighed. “Preventing him from training will only hurt him more in the long run.”
“That doesn’t mean I have to like it,” Fluttershy huffed. “Alex shouldn’t have to fight, and it hurts to know that he’s in danger.”
“Which would hurt more: knowing that he’s in a bit of danger because he knows how to handle himself in a fight that will come to him no matter what you do, or seeing him in a hospital or turned into a being of darkness because you couldn’t bear the idea of him getting involved and he wasn’t prepared when something came for him?”
“Sarah...”
“No, Liz, there’s a point where being delicate about something has ceased being helpful.” Sarah turned to face Fluttershy. “Those are the stakes, Fluttershy. Either you’re a little uncomfortable that an adult in a child’s body is being trained to handle himself in a fight, or you risk his life in not having him trained to fight. Or her, if he chooses to truly embrace things after today’s ‘dress rehearsal.’”
“I never said I wouldn’t let him,” Fluttershy spoke in a soft voice before trotting over to Alex. “Please be careful. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Alex knelt down, giving Fluttershy a hug. “I’ll be okay. Don’t worry so much. I can do this.”
Sarah nodded with a grim smile on her face at this exchange, then turned to look back at Discord. “I have a weapon that I can attune in such a way that any damage it deals is nonlethal, purely momentary nerve disruption. Do you have something for him to use so that I’m not at risk for serious injury in assessing his abilities?”
“I got a big key,” Alex offered, calling forth Aubade. “That’s uh... about it...”
“Which is why she was asking me, Alex.” Discord snapped his fingers a couple times and produced a bunch of obvious foam keyblade replicas briefly. One that looked like a slightly bulkier version of Aubade floated over towards Alex. “Hold on to both of these and let go of the real one when they feel like the same weight. The last pony it was attuned to needed a much bigger handicap than you will.”
“Well, that sounds like a plan for a damage-free assessment of your abilities. I believe I saw a large clearing in the back of this cottage as Liz and I were falling.” Sarah thought for a moment before nodding again. “If you wouldn’t mind, Alex, this may be the best possible time for an impartial observer to offer some advice before bad habits become muscle memory.”
“Right. Right.” Alex nodded, looking between the two keyblades. He stared at them for a few moments before dismissing Aubade. “Feels about right now...”
“Good. Can’t have you putting dents in our new friend.” Discord conjured up Alex’s coat and held it out to him. “It’s starting to get cold out, you’ll need this.”
Fluttershy seemed to shrink in on herself a little bit at all this. “I don’t really want to watch, but I-I suppose I have to. It would look bad if you were fighting and I wasn’t around at least, especially so close to my cottage.”
“Thanks.” Alex set the foam keyblade down, pulling his coat on. “And hey, it’s just with foam and uh, something non-lethal. We’ll be fine.”
“Well, I see no reason to delay this, and the longer we wait the better the chance of losing good sunlight since I have no idea how early or late it was when you called us over.” Sarah moved to the door and opened it to head out. “Plus it wouldn’t be any fun if I had too many advantages.”
Liz shook her head and moved towards the door as well. “I knew you couldn’t be just doing this to see if he would be able to hold his own, even if this is rather important in its own way.”
“Alright then, lets go!” Alex followed after them, resting his faux-key on his shoulder. It hit Alex just how late in the year it was. The leaves were starting to darken and as Discord had said, a chill bit at the air. He attributed it to the whirlwind that had been his life since his arrival.
Sarah stopped after a minute or so of walking away from the cottage and towards the nearby forest, and assumed an odd, almost meditative stance with her eyes closed. Liz didn’t walk as far, and leaned against a nearby tree nonchalantly to stand watch.
“So uh... how does this work?” Alex asked, looking between Sarah and Liz.
“Step one, pray she doesn’t decide to whip out something from Soul Calibur. I have a computer for a brain now and I can barely follow what she does when she uses some of those moves.” Liz’s voice has a hint of bitterness to it at that.
Across the way, Sarah extended her right arm forward and slightly down, then curled her left arm in front of her to rest her fist slightly above her right bicep. A soft green glow began to emanate from her hands before taking the shape of two weapons. The one in her right hand was a rather long greatsword while the one on her left hand looked like a small curved dagger.
“Overcompensating much, huh?” Alex joked, gripping the hilt of his weapon tightly. “I’d make more of a joke but uh, I’m not in any position to.”
“You’re mistaking my intentions. I might not have a purely physical weapon, but I’m bound by what I remember unless I devote a lot of time to training and learning new ways to use a weapon. Unless you would rather I start things off by emulating Black Flame Friede?” Sarah approached cautiously, keeping her guard up as she took careful, measured steps.
“No idea who that is!” Alex moved to the left, swinging at her left leg.
Sarah’s reaction was swift, slipping back a step and whipping out the dagger-like blade to intercept Alex’s swing and deflect it up and away from her while swinging the larger blade out to the right. This was both a counterbalance to her left arm’s motion and a move to ready it for an attack. With the exception of that swift parry, her motions seemed to be quite slow and deliberate. “I guess you weren’t part of the crowd that liked Dark Souls, then.”
“No, I just never played past 2.” Taking a step back, Alex leveled his blade at her. “Didn’t feel like dealing with the fanbase’s hypocrisy.” Eyeing her closely, he moved to the left again, ducking under her retaliatory swing and thrusting at her stomach.
The foam keyblade seemed to collapse in on itself to a point as it impacted the bony armor plating on Sarah’s abdomen, but she ended up staggering back as if she’d actually been hit with the full force of a blow from the real thing. She also sucked in a sharp breath at the pain and dropped the shorter blade, leaving it to vanish into the air while she instead moved her left hand to the hilt of the larger weapon. “Well, she’s not quite as nasty as Manus, but still a pain.”
That larger blade whipped back around a little quicker than before, coming around with the tip at the level of Alex’s chest. Alex rolled to the side, flinging his weapon at Sarah’s head.
Sarah’s reaction was swift, as she ducked and rolled off to the side of the throw’s arc of travel. Her wings extended for the first time since she’d arrived, and the bladed tips stabbed into the ground to stop her motion a little faster as well as provide a bit of extra leverage in getting back up. She threw her own seemingly-massive blade at Alex as soon as she was back on stable footing.
Suppressing panic, Alex held his hand out. The foam key stopped and reversed, retracing its arc back to his hand. It smacked into the back of Sarah’s head, making it back into Alex’s hand in time for him to knock hers to the side.
Sarah’s blade dissipated the moment Alex deflected it, and she shifted her stance as it appeared in her hand once more. The shift in stance coincided with the blade deforming and shortening, becoming more distinct with a wavy, flamelike appearance. “Okay, you have some skill, and whatever your father did to it sure does make it sting.”
“I’m just doing what feels natural,” Alex dismissed, eyeing the new blade closely. “Stuffs sorta just... coming to me, ya know?”
“Indeed I do. It’s similar to how I know how to use the weapons I can turn my mind blade into...though that comes more from visualizing the attack animations I remember from the games I draw from. Being a psionic powerhouse just makes translating memory and visualization into reality that much easier.” She brought this version of the blade around effortlessly, and it seemed to more more as an extension of her arm than something she was holding. “You’re only showing purely basic things, though. Thrust, slash, throw and recall...it’s a little boring.”
“Oh sure. Pick on the guy who’s only had the big magic key for around a week or so.” Alex huffed, keeping his weapon up. “Isn’t that why we’re out here? To fix that?”
“Not quite.” Sarah raced forward, suddenly lashing out with the new blade at Alex’s side. “We’re out here to test you, to find out what you can and can’t do yet. You need to know your own limits, after all.”
Alex stumbled as the blade struck his side. Stumbling back, he swung his blade, trying to ward her off.
Sarah jumped back to avoid those wild swipes, her movements looking much more natural with this weapon than with the previous one, especially since she was using her wings along with her legs to aid in mobility. Her backwards leap ended in a crouch with her right hand held off to the side and her legs and wings both tensed for a pounce, only for a blast of magic to come in from above and create a small crater in the dirt in front of her.
“Alex!” Twilight Sparkle’s voice called from above as she dove to his side with Sign of Innocence held in her magic. “Why didn’t you call for help, or send Fluttershy to? You shouldn’t be fighting heartless on your own yet.”
“Nay, Twilight. Whatever this monster be, it does not bear the signs of being a heartless, and looks like some kind of corrupted human.” Princess Luna lowered herself to the ground as well, landing between Alex and Sarah with Missing Ache held diagonally across her body in a defensive posture.
“We’re sparring!” Alex snapped, waving the foam keyblade above his head. “Would I really be fighting someone with an American Gladiator prop if I was in fear of my life? Come on, people! Don’t be dumb!”
“Oh, that would be my fault, Alex.” Discord chimed in as he appeared above the field of battle. “You see, even though your opponent knows the weapon is fake, part of attuning it so that it reacts to you like a keyblade includes making it appear to everyone around you as if it were the real thing. Sorry, I really should have mentioned that sooner...and it’s not that oversized.”
Sarah finished brushing dirt and grass off of her face from the ground eruption and cautiously walked forward. “Ah, excuse me, I’m not a monster either. I know I might look a little odd, but I was trying to see if there were any tips I could give him other than the obvious ‘learn from someone who uses the same weapon.’”
“I apologize, I was merely concerned for Alex’s safety.” Luna lowered Missing Ache and gave Sarah a once over. “Are you injured? I can send for the local doctors if you are.”
“I’ll be fine, thanks. I heal much faster than any normal human would without magical aid, and there were only a few pebbles kicked up by that shot.” She gave her head a shake, trying to dislodge a bit of grit she could feel in her hair tendrils. “My name’s Sarah, and he has some natural talent, but needs training and guidance to get better than the basics. He needs spellbooks too, or whatever you have here.”
“He’s got decent reflexes.” Liz chimed in as she walked out from under the tree she’d been leaning against while observing. “His reaction times to your attacks were consistently under ten milliseconds. That’s just barely slower than the speed of nerve conductivity. Bet he’s played his share of twitch reflex games in the past.”
“I didn’t... ‘feel’ like I was moving that fast.” Alex lowered his arm, blinking at Liz. “That’s utterly insane. Holy crap.”
“I’m measuring pure reaction speed, not how fast you were moving. That’s currently well within human average, but every time Sarah made a move to attack you started moving in response. It’s like you weren’t even thinking about what to do up until the point where she started moving at a more normal speed.” Liz poked a few places on her left arm and held her hand out to create a small projected screen. “It’s the premise of a minigame we used to play on a SNES game, and Sarah always destroyed me when we were kids.”
The scene displayed was of two cartoonish characters facing off in front of a sunset. An exclamation mark flashed briefly, and the pink circle appeared behind the other figure, who was now slumped over with a flashing ‘08’ on a signpost nearby.
“The hell game is that?” Alex questioned, looking at the screen. “I wasn’t much into retro gaming.”
“That’s the ‘Samurai Kirby’ minigame form Kirby’s Superstar, one of the best games in the franchise.” Sarah said in response, crossing her arms over her stomach. “So...royalty, and here we came without being able to bear much in the way of gifts. You’ll have to pardon any appearance of rudeness on our part.”
“I think I have a couple spare energon shards in my storage space, but I’m not sure how much you guys can do with a few fragments of crystalized energy. We’re still trying to get our settlement in Flame Geyser Swamp under control and figure out a few issues with logistics before we can put Sarah’s army to use turning it into a civilized place.”
“I need no gifts, travellers,” Luna assured, giving a smile. “Meeting a far traveller is enough of a gift for me.”
“We’ll figure out something in the weeks to come, including how to send a gift through space as a friend of ours has done for us.”
“Yeah, yeah, look, I need a minute to talk to Alex in private. You keep chatting with these two for a bit.” Liz started walking back over close to Fluttershy’s cottage, motioning for Alex to follow her. Once they were alone she got down on one knee in front of Alex and looked into his eyes. “Look, I’m not entirely sure what it was my sister said to you up there, but take it from someone who helped her through her hard times after she figured out she wasn’t meant to be a guy. Don’t go too fast. Don’t push yourself too hard. Take everything one day at a time, okay? Live how you feel comfortable, and don’t let anyone else pressure you otherwise. This above all: to thine own self be true.”
“Thou art I and I art thou,” Alex replied with a smirk before nodding. “I’ll try. Stuff’s just... confusing, you know? Part of me just... doesn’t mind this... Hell, it might even like it.”
“And I’m willing to bet Sarah told you to embrace that part of you. She’s biased, of course.” Liz smiled and reached out to gently poke Alex in the sternum. “You need to find your balance point, the one piece of stability you have in this world. You’re gonna go through a lot of changes over the next few years, and you aren’t gonna like all of them. I know I freaked out a bit when my ass started putting on weight, but that’s just society and the drive for a woman to be as thin as possible. I was born female, you weren’t. I can’t begin to imagine the kinds of things that are going to make you uncomfortable.”
Alex rubbed the point of impact, meeting her gaze. “Oh she totally told me to ‘dive headfirst into the estrogen river.’ Thought I’d give it a try.”
“Hey, I’m not gonna lie, the look works for you, or that body at least. As you’re learning what works best for you, one thing to keep in mind is the fewer layers you need to remove in an emergency; the easier it is to take care of things. I’d offer you one of the ‘just in case’ tampons I was carrying in my purse, but they’re probably part of the alien device it turned into now.”
Alex quickly turned pale. “I-uh, err, tampon...those are the inside ones, right? N-no, no definitely not gonna...nothing inside for now, thanks.”
Liz laughed and quickly pulled Alex in for a hug. “Yeah, that sounds like a guy alright.”
“Yeah, sure, laugh at the poor re-teenager. This is why you turned into that mess of fuchsia plastic.”
“Kid, I’ve seen pictures of your character’s ‘final form’ and they ain’t much prettier.”
Alex couldn’t stop looking at the two miniature figurine keychains that had dropped to the ground when Sarah and Liz had been dismissed after telling him how to make his own token. One was a black widow spider with her legs wrapped around a purple gem of some kind, with a ‘chain’ made out of some kind of blue material, while the other was a miniature alien bug of some kind with a chain whose links looked like the cross section of a nautilus shell.
“Yes, might I ask where your feminine hygiene aisle is?” Discord’s voice startled Alex from his thoughts, reminding him of where they were. “My daughter here needs to pick up a few things she forgot about before our trip started.” The mirror had seen fit to put Discord into a tailored red suit and give him the appearance of some wealthy business mogul.
“It’s uh, aisle fourteen, back by the pharmacy, dude.”
“Thank you. Come along, Alex.” He led the way back, and immediately started trying to reach back and scratch through the suit. “My back itches where my wings should be. This is going to drive me crazier.”
Alex followed along, putting his new keychains in his pockets. “You know, if I didn’t know what you really looked like I’d think you were the Devil. Maybe I should make some toast and see if it falls jelly side down just to make sure.”
“Very funny, young man. It’s not like I’m responsible for how I look on this side of the mirror. Now... where are... the...” Discord trailed off and his expression turned blank as he stared at the wall of various products. “Please tell me you know what the difference is between all these things, Alex.”
Alex started looking, and quickly realized he was just as clueless as Discord about the difference between different types of pantyliners. He fumbled with the pockets on his coat, as it had decided to remain unchanged this time by being carried instead of worn through the mirror. “No, but Sunset did give me a phone, and her number, and told me to call her if I needed help.”
“Let’s do that. Call the expert. Tell her to hurry, because this suit is starting to itch in sensitive places I don’t normally have.”
“Excuse me. Could you help me by telling me where I can find Fluttershy?” A stallion’s voice spoke up from behind Discord.
“Hm?” Turning from his work, Discord blinked a few times. “Sorry, I was doing some internal logic checks. She’ll be right out, we’re about to start doing the week’s laundry. May I have your name?”
“Tape, Red Tape.” The grey stallion levitated a clipboard in front of him and frowned slightly before looking back up. “Funny, the adoption papers listed you as an ‘occasional visitor,’ which was a factor in the official approval. I’m here because his teacher, Cheerilee, notified us that Alex had missed two days of school in a row, with one being excused due to a visit with the princesses.”
“Ah yes, Alex had a very... private happening yesterday none of us were prepared for,” Discord responded, ignoring the first part. “He wasn’t in a state for school so he stayed home.”
“I see. A private happening, one which resulted in staying home from school, with you around.” Red Tape cleared his throat again while writing a few things down on the clipboard. “You understand my concern, of course. Former enemy of the state living with the adoptive mother of a child we’d gotten an alert about.”
Discord gasped, bringing a paw to his chest. “Why good sir, I am insulted! You stand there making baseless claims of my bad influence when I’ll have you know Alex has declared that I am the best Mom’s boyfriend of all time!”
“Right.” Red’s voice was completely deadpan, and he looked utterly unimpressed. “Sir, it is my job to make sure that Alex has not been hurt by anything outside the normal for a young filly, living as a colt for some reason, in Ponyville. There are already exceptions on the books regarding local oddities of the Everfree border, which you do not count as. Since you are not listed as a guardian, I would appreciate it if you could bring your marefriend out here to talk to me.”
“Discord? Do we have company?” Fluttershy asked, choosing now to exit the cottage. Angel sat on her head, a diligent watchman in case the basket on her back decided to slip. “Oh, hello. What brings you out here today?”
“Red Tape, Ponyville office of Foal Protective Services. Your adopted filly, Alex, missed two days of school in a row, one of which was excused, and this second day was for a ‘personal happening’ according to your coltfriend.” The stallion quirked an eyebrow. “I do hope Alex has managed to make it to school today. Three days absent within the first month would be a horrible way to start your record as a parent.”
“Oh but those absences were very important!” Setting her basket down, Fluttershy set up her clothes line. “Especially yesterday. Don’t worry, I made sure he got to school today.”
“His absence yesterday was more important than the day before, which was due to an audience with the princesses? You’ll excuse me for being skeptical about that. There was no record of hospitalization, or even a visit to a doctor as far as my quick inquiries before coming out here could tell me.”
“It was medical related but, nothing he needed to be hospitalized for.” Lifting into a light hover, she grabbed the top cloth in her basket. “Discord, I’m going to do Alex’s sheets first. Did you remember to get that special soap from Zecora?”
“Right here, dear.” Discord actually lifted it off the ground next to the washtub he’d been setting up, and his head quickly morphed into a copy of Zecora’s. “Not just for blood, but other crud. It is quite mean to things unclean.”
Giggling at his antics, Fluttershy brought the stained sheets over to the tub. “Dissy, we’ve talked about imitating others before. It’s not very flattering to anypony.”
“I was doing it to quote her.” Discord responded defensively, still in Zecora’s voice and with her head. He snapped his talons and began lifting them out of the basket with multiple ghostly hands.
“What is on those sheets?!” Red Tape yelled as he saw the first one lifted up.
“Menstrual blood,” Discord responded rather nonchalantly. “Very specific to humans.” Pausing, Discord looked down at Fluttershy. “I don’t think Alex used any perfume before he left for school.”
“Wait, did you even buy any perfume? Mine’s made to cling to the oils in a pony’s coat, not skin.”
“Now hold on, you two are going to sit down and explain this to me, now, or else I am going to have to remove Alex from your care until a full investigation has taken place!”
Discord glared at the annoying beaurocrat and snapped his fingers to freeze the stallion in place, utterly helpless. “Fluttershy, with your permission, I’m going to educate this stallion... Ludovico-style.”
“I don’t know what that means, but feel free as long as it helps me keep Alex.”
Alex leaned back in his seat, going over the last few pages of his history book again. “Didn’t think a flight team would have a section of a history book...” It was actually quite fascinating, in comparison to something like the Blue Angels.
“Well, they were once a special part of the Unified Royal Guard, and they’re still used as a rapid response defense team due to their speed,” Snails offered helpfully. “I saw them fight a huge purple dragon that turned out to be Spike not too long ago.”
“Miss Cheerilee, Snails and Alex are too loud for me to concentrate, and Alex smells funny.” Diamond Tiara actually yelled, disrupting the entire class. “He smells like... like blood.”
A wash of emotions splashed over Alex, the strongest being mortification. Covering his face, he slid down in his seat. “Please just no, I don’t need this. Not during shark week.”
Cheerilee looked up from her desk and sighed softly. “Diamond Tiara, you have been warned about picking on other students-”
Snips spoke up. “I can smell it too, actually. I-uh, I’ve cut myself by accident enough times to know what it smells like. I thought maybe I’d accidentally cut one of my frogs without noticing, but they’re all fine.”
“I-I brought... note! My note.” Alex whimpered, trying to hide his face as much as he could. “In backpack.”
“Oh, right. Class, we’re all going to have to just do our best to ignore it if Alex smells like blood over the next few days. Due to a quirk with Alex’s species, this is something that will happen every month. Anything more specific than that will have to wait until next semester or later, depending on how fast we cover the sciences.”
“Oh god. Sex ed has never sounded worse...” Groaning, Alex cursed himself for not using any perfume. “Sunset even told you, you moron. How’d you forget overnight?”
“What’s sex?” Snails whispered, leaning over the gap between desks so that he could speak quietly without even Diamond Tiara hearing it.
“No, just no.” Alex shook his head, picking up his book again. “Just read your book and let me forget this whole situation.”
“Oh, okay. Something you know from your world, then.” Snails gave an almost sage nod before returning to looking through his book and noting down a couple things on a spare sheet.
“There’s no way smelling like blood is normal, you freaky predator.” Diamond Tiara turned her head back to look over her shoulder at Alex, her eyes narrowed in a glare.
“As much as I wish it wasn’t, yes; it is normal. It’s normal for humans, even if it sucks hard.” Alex found his spot, resuming his reading. “Beats what happens to ponies though.”
“What are you even talking about, you weirdo?”
“Like Cheerilee said, next semester. If it bothers you that much, ask your parents about heat.”
“What does thermodynamics have to do with you bleeding?”
“Nope.” Alex simply blocked her from his mind and continued reading the assigned history section from yesterday, and today’s section.
“Hey Fluttershy, before I head to bed, can I please traumatize a school bully by telling her every little tiny uncomfortable detail if she keeps pestering me about how I smell? First it was meat, now it’s... well, take a guess.”
Fluttershy rolled her eyes, nudging Alex into his room. “I know Diamond Tiara’s giving you a hard time, but you know better. It might not surprise you to know this but I had a fair share of bullies back when I was in school.”
“Oh god, do not just tell me to ignore her. If you were bullied you know that shit doesn’t work.”
“Alex, language please.” She smiled, but looked down at the floor. “And you’re right, but I also know that if you react without giving them the kind of rise they’re looking for it will make them make mistakes and then they’ll get in trouble instead of you.”
“Okay, that’s not the worst advice,” Alex admitted, sitting on his bed.
“It also helps to have a friend. Whenever I got picked on, Rainbow Dash was there at my side.” Looking between him and the bed, Fluttershy’s smile grew. “Would it be okay if I tucked you in tonight?”
Alex couldn’t help but blush a little as he nodded. The mattress shifting as she moved it to tuck in the blankets was actually an oddly-calming sensation that he enjoyed, and it helped him slip under just a little quicker.
Taking the corner of his blanket into her mouth, she pulled it over his body. Letting it drop from her mouth, she nuzzled his cheek while the tip of one wing carefully pushed that corner just under the mattress. “Goodnight, Alex.” Kissing his head, she blew the candle out and left him to his sleep.
It didn’t take long for Alex to drift off, only a few minutes of calming himself down. What surprised him was ending up with a starfield above his head, with the view dominated by a huge planet. Looking down showed him a field of grey rocks and dust. “What the hell?”
“Ah, Alex!” The voice was one Alex recognized quickly. Princess Luna appeared in front of him, her body forming from a patch of dirt and rocks. “I suppose I should have expected that, it is a school night.”
“Sup, Dream Horse?” he greeted. “Expected what?”
“That you would be the first of my new students to fall asleep.”
“Ah.” Alex kicked a rock, watching it float away. “So... the moon huh? Looks like a nice place, too bad it isn’t made of cheese.”
“How do you know it isn’t? This is a dream, after all. The rules here are much more flexible than reality, especially with me around.” Luna scooped up a small ball of lunar dust and squeezed it together, then lobbed it at Alex.
Catching it, Alex brought it up to eye level. “Huh, wouldya look at that; cheddar.” Taking a bite, he gave a nod. “Damn good cheese, Dream Horse. Remind me to introduce you to the wonders of cheese whiz.”
Luna smirked and gathered up her own ball to compress into a cheesy treat. “Enjoy it while it lasts. When Twilight and her brother fall asleep I will have to draw them in, and then the dream with become much more like reality. The benefit of training in dreams is a lack of bruising or injury.”
Pausing, Alex ran the idea through his head. “I mean yeah, that’d be good for stuff like muscle memory and technique learning, but something tells me you don’t work on Elm Street logic. I’d still have to actually practice and work out and everything.”
“This will be an interesting thing, truly. You are correct in that you will still need to perform practical exercises while awake, but this will still be a good way to show you how different your techniques are from how an alicorn or unicorn fights with a keyblade.”
“Well, I have opposable thumbs. Those instantly put me at the top of the food chain.”
“My old teacher learned quickly that thumbs and arms limiting how you can move is actually a hindrance compared to the magic that unicorns and alicorns can use to remotely manipulate a weapon of any kind.” Luna spoke almost reverently for a moment, then laughed. “That didn’t stop her from beating the snot out of Celly and I back when we were learning, though.”
“Must have happened a lot,” Alex teased, sitting down on the edge of a crater. “You know, humans went to the moon before. Our moon, I mean. Only around a dozen people or so got to say ‘I left Earth and went to the moon’.”
“And you get to say ‘I left Earth, met an entire planet full of aliens, and learned how to perform magic’ if you ever find a way to make it back home. That’s a big ‘if’ by the way.”
Alex shook his head, sighing. “What would I even do if I could? I’m stuck like this, a living trademark violation. I’d have creepy fanboys, lawyers, military, etc on my ass. I might as well just stay here.”
Luna found herself laughing again. “My old master said much the same thing when she finally figured out how to turn her keyblade into a glider, though at the time she had also just spent a good five years teaching us alongside Starswirl.”
“You know, the more I hear about him, the less I like him,” Alex said, looking up at the planet.
“What do you mean? Sure, he may have been a bit fanatical about eradicating darkness, but we were dealing with harsh times and thousands of Heartless after the windigoes had finally been dealt with and all of the snow trapping them melted.”
“You do know that there are ice-based heartless, right?”
“Honestly, it wouldn’t shock me if windigoes were some kind of natural heartless monsters. They just showed up one day and the way the world worked fell apart.”
“Sounds rough.” Letting himself fall back, he peered at Luna. “So, got any cool keychains?”
“Excuse me? I’m afraid I don’t understand the question.”
Alex summoned Aubade and fished one of the keychains out of his pocket. “I found these when Liz and Sarah left. Keychains can give you access to different keyblades.”
“Oh, is that what allowed Lady Aqua to do that? Celestia and I never figured out exactly how to do that. She never explained much of the finer points of her techniques, and we had to more or less figure out our own ways of doing them.” Luna closed her eyes and summoned up Missing Ache. She gave her own keyblade a quick twirl while examining the pommel. “Odd, mine doesn’t have one.”
“Weird.” Upending Aubade, Alex brought one of the new keychains close. He eeped as the keychain vanished from his hand. Aubade shifted in a gleam of light, replaced by an entirely new keyblade, one he had never seen before.
A name imprinted itself into his mind, ‘Widow’s Fang’. This keyblade was gold and black at the hilt, with a splay-legged black widow acting as the guard while the shaft was made to look like thick webbing that visibly pulsed with lines of blue-colored energy every so often. The teeth of the keyblade were nearly-invisible planes of translucent purple crystal, revealed only as the energy pulses from the shaft lit them up. What had been a trinket of a spider wrapped around an amethyst was now dangling from the pommel on a short string of brilliant blue material that glowed in time with the energy pulses.
“Most wondrous. I’ve never seen anything like that keyblade before in all my years, Alex.” Luna’s voice was actually full of awe as she moved closer, and reached out with her foreleg as if to touch it with her hoof. “It is just like when Lady Aqua’s keyblade would change to a different one…”
Holding the new weapon out, he allowed her to take it. “Aqua? There was an Aqua here? What... happened to her?”
“I wish I knew. She vanished shortly after the Sirens were exiled by Starswirl. Starswirl and his friends vanished around the same time. These days they’re just legends of pre-Equestrian civilization.” Luna gripped the keyblade in her magic and swung it around overhead. “Fantastic balance. This would be from the mechanical woman who was here, correct?”
“Yeah, that matches Liz’s style alright.” Standing up, Alex gestured to the weapon. “It should have different abilities from Aubade. If that holds true from the games.”
“How would you know? Other than having an opponent to carve up so you could compare how it feels-” Luna cut herself off and looked up, then closed her eyes and began to channel magic through her horn. “Forgive me, it seems that Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle have fallen asleep at the time I told them to set aside once a week for this. I have to pull them in.”
The glow rapidly spread out from Luna’s horn and encompased the entire surface of the ‘moon’ within a few seconds. In the blink of an eye everything changed around Alex, with what looked like classic Greek architecture made of clouds rapidly replacing the landscape he’d previously experienced. Two other figures quickly faded into view, one of them being Twilight and the other being a white unicorn with a blue mane and tail. His cutie mark was a shield with the same purple starburst as the center of Twilight’s mark.
“Ugh. Nopony told me you could feel nausea from being teleported in dreams. That’s worse than being on an airship!”
“My apologies, Shining Armor. I was not aware you suffered from motion sickness. I will make the transition less abrupt for you in future sessions.”
Alex took Widow’s Fang back, letting it rest at his side. “Sup, guys? Thanks for joining us for our Dream Warriors reenactment. Promise next time we’ll book that Dokken tribute band.”
“Very funny, Alex.” Twilight replied with a yawn. “Is this going to take long, Luna? I spent all afternoon listening to a crying stallion from Ponyville FPS about how he really didn’t want to have to learn some things about Alex’s body.”
“Only you could be tired in a dream, Twily.”
“There’s a difference between being tired and being mentally exhausted, Shiny.”
Luna quickly got things under control, and began explaining the reason this was being done in dreams, as well as splitting the four of them into two one-on-one teaching sessions. Twilight was paired with her brother so he could teach her the basics of telekinetic blade manipulation, including how to only hold one part of a weapon rather than the entire thing. Luna being paired with Alex meant that she was able to try and coach him based on how she remembered Aqua fighting... which used a lot less magic and a lot more of the ‘hit things until they stopped moving’ type of strategy than Alex would have thought.
“Sounds like she didn’t really have a whole lot of technique to any of this,” Alex commented, parrying a thrust from Luna. “I recall Aqua being a magic powerhouse.”
“She was odd indeed. Whenever she was forced to use magic she was powerful enough to quiet Starswirl’s complaints, but she always fell back on physical attacks as her first preference. Kept saying she could never get used to using magic.” Luna tilted her keyblade in midair around the parry, and came in at Alex well inside his guard. Being hit by this dream version of Missing Ache was like being slapped with a fish. Unpleasant, but not particularly painful.
Taking a step back, he shook off the strange feeling. “Right. So, when do I get the magics? I want to set fire to things with my mind and heal wounds like they were nothing.”
Luna actually shuddered briefly, and took a step back away from Alex. “If fire is what you want, I’ll have to have my sister send you a copy of one of our old texts on war magic. For whatever reason, Aqua was the only being who could safely contain such a spell, aside from Celestia with Aubade. Fire spells have since fallen out of common usage aside from the occasional medical cauterization.”
“Right.” Taking advantage of her reaction, Alex struck out, tapping Aubade against her collar bone. “So, you don’t know any of the spells? Fire, Thunder, Blizzard, Aero, Stop, Gravity?”
“You know, I never understood why Lady Aqua was so adamant about how certain elements had to be called by certain names when forming spells with them, or why her imagination was so limited.”
“I think it’s just easier to do that kind of thing,” Alex replied. “Easy to memorize and all that.”
“I suppose that might be true for those who don’t have talents linking them to certain things that just make magic easy. Regolith!” Luna stabbed Missing Ache into the clouds in front of her and the sky around them seemed to growl at him for a moment. The moon above them rotated suddenly and sent down a plume of glittering dust that sprayed against Alex like a blast of freezing cold sand. “I learned to put my own spin on things long ago.”
“Okay, that’s cool,” Alex admitted, shivering slightly. “You actually get to use your magic pocket sand often?”
“Not in over a thousand years.” Sadness crept into Luna’s voice as she spoke, and she stepped back while shaking her head. “Sorry, I’m… Would you mind a substitute sparring partner for a few minutes while I collect my thoughts?”
“Take as much time as you need.” Alex gave a thumbs up. “I’m up for whoever you throw at me, Dream Horse.”
Luna nodded in response and walked away to lay down on a nearby bench. As she moved a cloud of purple smoke emerged from her horn and slowly formed into a tiny black alicorn filly with a mane and tail much like Luna’s own. This filly had a silver helmet and shoes as well as some form of breastplate, and her horn was surrounded in a black aura for a moment before a pink and black keyblade similar in shape to Missing Ache formed in its grasp. “Foalish mortal! Beware da powah of Nightmare Moon!”
Alex snorted, trying to hold in laughter. “Really? I kind of don’t want to hit something that’s adorable.”
The filly glared at him, Pain of Solitude swinging up to point right at him before the tip glowed with a pale light that was immediately shrouded in a cloud of darkness. “Dark Force!” She screamed the name of her spell as the keyblade began to launch a barrage of black spheres at Alex. These began to explode around him, but somehow sapped all of the heat in the air away rather than causing heat as they did.
“Evil Gate!” She shrieked again, not bothering to wait for Alex to even regain a semblance of balance as the keyblade swiped down and everything went pitch black for Alex, rendering him unable to see in order to react. A childish giggle came from behind him before he was hit from the right, and then another came from above his head. “Shadow Dance!” The blackness that had been blinding him shattered into dozens of copies of the filly, each wielding a jet-black version of Pain, and each having glowing yellow eyes.
Stumbling back, he stared at her with wide eyes. “...Jesus Christ. Who are you supposed to be? Gamora? Calm the hell down there, X-23.”
The multitude of shadowy clones giggled in unison and levelled their black keyblades at Alex. “Come play with us, Xion. Be a good little golem.” Each keyblade seemed to gain a layer of frost as they charged another spell.
Alex gripped onto Aubade, gritting his teeth. “I am not Xion!” Drawing his arm back, he hurled Aubade at the closest and tackled the next. “My name is Alex!”
The crowd of heartless-looking fillies laughed even as the one struck by Aubade vanished in a puff of black mist. The one he’d tackled felt like a living snowman against his skin, and she didn’t even try to fight back as the rest of them finished charging their spell. “Absolute Zero.” The incantation was solemn, almost respectful, and the cold that hit Alex from behind was enough to steal his breath away and leave him feeling unable to move, or even blink for a few seconds.
When the cold dissipated, Alex fell to his knees taking in ragged breaths. “The fuck was that, Luna!? That’s a curb stomp, not a sparring match!” Hugging himself, he rubbed his sides in an attempt to warm himself.
“You shouldna made fun!” The demonic filly walked up to Alex, and blew a raspberry right in his face. This was followed by tapping both of his shoulders with Pain and stomping away to take a seat near Luna’s bench.
“Sorry, Tantabus has a bit of a mind of her own lately, and I didn’t create her with the intent of her being a sparring partner originally. That was her version of a form that I once took, and those spells were less than half the power that I could have brought to bear if I ever dared use them again.”
Getting up, Alex kept his frown. “Yeah sure. Utterly knock the newbie around. That totally does wonders for his self confidence.” Recalling Aubade to his hand, Alex stormed off into one of he craters.
“Alex…” Luna’s voice came from right next to him as he settled down in the crater. “There is a lesson in this, despite the fact that I appreciate the way it was delivered just as little as you do.”
“Yeah, and what’s that?” Alex growled, shooting her a glare.
“‘Never underestimate an opponent based on how they look. Even the weakest looking opponent could hand you your ass with both feet shoved in your mouth,’ to directly quote Lady Aqua.”
Alex laid back on the moon dust, looking up at the planet turning overhead. “Y’know, that’s not bad advice.” Placing his hands on his stomach, he sighed. “Sorry, I guess even in magic dreamland I’m still suffering the effects of Shark Week.”
“Shark week?” Luna thought for a moment before wincing. “Oh, so she wasn’t joking about human females being cursed with a monthly pain? Celly and I always thought she was just being dramatic.”
“Nope, unfortunately for me and her, it’s a thing.” Glancing over at Luna, he considered for a moment before speaking. “Hey, wanna hear a story?”
“I see no reason not to listen if it’s something you’re willing to speak about. Aqua was always a rather private person.”
“So, in this place called Egypt, there was a falcon-headed god named Ra, who was one of the deities associated with the sun. Every day, from dawn to dusk, he moved across the sky in his position as the sun. At dusk however, he’d die and enter a mountain. Twelve goddesses guided his body through the underworld, which was filled with lots and lots of snakes, including his evil brother Seth who always tried to eat him. Anyway, he gets reborn with a weird beetle face and bam! Sun’s back for another day as he leaves another mountain.”
Luna mulled the tale over for a while, but finally ended up shaking her head. “Your people have some strange fantasies. It almost reminds me of the diamond dogs.”
“The kicker is that in at least one version of that story, the mountains are actually the mouth and urethra of the sky goddess, Nut.” After a beat, he added. “And that’s why the dawn is red.”
“...” Luna opened her mouth to speak a couple times, then shuddered and shifted subtly. “Yes, well, I can imagine that it would be a bit painful to piss a deity back into existence.”
Alex snorted, finding himself relaxing. “I got a couple of moon related stories too. Pick a number outta four and I’ll tell you one.”
“I choose... thirteen divided by two minus four and a half.” Luna favored Alex with a grin that was nearly as evil as the nightmare filly’s giggling had been disturbing. “Combat isn’t just about waving swords and sticking your enemies with the pointy end.”
Rolling his eyes, Alex spoke again. “Okay fine, you get the legend of Endymion. Okay, so Selene was the Greek goddess of the moon. Every night while she passed over the Earth, she’s always watching his dude named Endymion because he slept out in the fields. At some point her stalkerism got so bad, she went to Zeus, king of the gods. His solution was to put Endymion to sleep forever so he couldn’t age or die. Selene than had fifty kids with him.”
“Wait... if he was asleep, then he…” Luna blushed and stood up quickly. “People on your world had strange notions of romance when these stories were crafted. That’s rape, plain and simple.”
Standing up with her, he pat her side. “Next time, I promise I’ll tell you a better moon story. Like the story of Princess Kaguya or Chang’E and Hou Yi.”
Luna took a few steps away and brought Missing Ache back up in front of her in a guarding position. “Let us hope those stories have fewer criminal acts in them... then again, Lady Aqua did always tell us that she didn’t come from a happy world.”
Something nuzzled against Alex’s ear, then pushed in slowly. “Mmmm, I can smell your dreams, the ones mom’s keeping hidden, they smell...delicious.” The shadowy filly landed on Alex’s shoulder and began... licking.
“Tantabus! Stop that right now. His dreams are not yours to eat.”
“But they smell so good...” The filly whined and pressed against the side of Alex’s head, whimpering softly.
“Uh... what’s going on?” Alex asked, reaching up and pulling the filly away from him. “You at least going to pay me for those dreams, kiddo?”
“Sorry, I created her to help me out with my own dreams and it seems she’s grown fond of how foul ones ‘taste’ to her as a result.” Luna plucked the filly off of Alex’s shoulder with her magic and shook her around until she’d become a vaguely pony-shaped cloud of gas. “None of that tonight. I probably shouldn’t have even brought you in as a free target. Back home, little one.”
The cloud reared up and stomped down as much as a vague shape could, but quickly dissipated into thin air.
Alex looked at the spot the filly had been before looking back at Luna. “Did you... did you create a magic based AI?”
“No, Tantabus is merely an astral golem, albeit an unruly one. She’s no more real than your nightmares of your father, existing only in dreams. In her case, I think I may need to rework the way her animating spell functions. She’s been getting harder to control the last few weeks.”
“Luna, that seemed like an actual, you know, person to me,” Alex pointed out. “Don’t go screwing around with any ‘spells’ you used to create her.”
“Alex, honestly, she’s not alive. She’s never been alive. She’s nothing but the ambient energy of dreams given form by me to help me work through some old issues I still struggle with. She’s a talkative teddy bear.” Luna huffed in exasperation and threw Missing Ache at Alex. “She’s less real than a Nobody.”
Alex rolled out of the way,brandishing Aubade. “You ever consider that what you made grew past how you made it? That it might actually be becoming real?” Dashing forward, he swung Aubade at her front right leg.
Luna backstepped quickly and reared up to menace Alex with her hooves as Missing Ache returned and was brought in to deflect the next blow from Aubade. “Yes, I did, which is why I took steps to make sure she could never take me over like the first version of my ‘imaginary dreamtime friend’ did when I gave in to jealousy.”
“...This place is weird.” Alex groaned, steadying his arms. “Look, just don’t go screwing with her, okay? Just thinking of it gives me the existential heebie jeebies.”
“Hey Alex, Twilight said you were looking for help learning magic stuff?” Sonata approached him in her earth pony guise while he was walking home from class . Her mane and tail were still dripping wet, but she didn’t appear out of breath at all from rushing to meet him.
“Uh... yeah. I mean, I’d love to learn how to fling spells,” he said, making the motion of throwing a fireball. “It’d help a lot, ya know.”
“Uh-huh, I get what you mean.” Sonata nodded while coming closer and leaning against him. “Mmmmm, shame, a hint of loathing, and bitterness. You realise magic’s not going to help with the most common cause of that little emotional cocktail, right? Unless I’m missing my guess based on a couple other things I smell, like perfume on you.”
Alex sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Right. I forgot you’ve been human for centuries. I wasn’t talking about that, Fish Stick.” He flicked her ear. “So, joke’s on you.”
“Watch the flicking unless you want to find out just how heavy ‘maximum absorbance’ can get.” Sonata glared up, then giggled and reared up to boop his nose with her hoof. “Kidding. Wouldn’t want to intentionally irritate you there right now. So, what did you have in mind exactly? I know how to heal and you saw what my sisters and I can do with water.”
“Water magic sounds fun,” Alex responded, continuing his walk back to the cottage. “I’m pretty sure we can pull that off, right?”
“I can think of a few other things we could pull off, but that can wait until you stop looking like a teenager.” Sonata teased playfully while walking with him. “So, want me to ask Aria about free supplies?”
“Uh... sure?” Alex agreed, nodding his head slowly. “She’s not gonna like, call in a favor later and drag me into anything criminal, is she? No offense but your sister comes off as a... uh... thug.”
“Oh, that? Yeah, she’s a bit brutal sometimes but this is something she’d be happy to help you out with. No charge, no favors owed, since I’ll be the one asking for you. She can easily erase a few cases of inventory from the logs, or write them off as damaged during packing and nobody’s going to question the owner. So, you want to learn about water first?” Sonata switched topics quickly and easily, as if the magic was a bigger concern than what she’d said before it.
“Yes. Teach me the art of waterbending. I need to learn all the elements before fighting the Fire Nation,” Alex joked, snickering to himself. “Let me put my backpack up and we can get started, alright?”
“Okay, can do. I’ll just stay out here if you don’t mind. Your dad still freaks me out a little.” Sonata motioned towards the tiny stream flowing near the cottage, and actually lay down at the bank to dip her hoof in the water for a bit. She stayed there, waiting for Alex to come back out, though she did take the time to create a few floating balls of water from the stream that slowly orbited her head.
After a few moments, Alex came running out of the cottage. “Okay! We got a few good hours before I have to do school stuff.” Cracking his fingers, he gave her a bright smile. “Alright, fish-horse, let’s do this!”
“Okay, first things first I’m gonna need you to start channeling your aura.” Sonata idly floats a few balls of water over towards Alex and slowly rotates them in a circle in front of him while another ball stays in front of her eyes between them. “Try to make these spin in the opposite direction, or try to toss them back at me.”
“...I have no idea how to do that,” he pointed out, watching the orbs in awe. “I have no concept of being able to do actual magic, Sonata.”
“Oh? Oh right, I forgot that Twilight said you had no idea how magic worked at all. That’s going to make this a little harder. Can you see anything other than the water? Any color or traces in the air, anything?”
“Uh...?” Alex just stared at her. “I... don’t know?”
“Okay. Huh...so when unicorns do their thing can you see anything? Like a sparkly field or even just some kind of shimmering in the air, maybe some color?” Sonata focused for a few seconds, closing her eyes as one of the water balls formed a crude approximation of a pony shape.
“Whenever anyone uses magic, I see some weird aura appear around their horn.” Alex blinked, rubbing his neck. “Right, guess that was a little obvious.”
“Okay, so you can see unicorn magic on some level, good, that gives me something to work with. Is it colors, a cloud, sparkles, or just a shimmering in the air, like... umm, that fake water on a hot road thing?”
Taking a moment to piece his response together, he gestured with his hands. “You ever watch anime? Where the characters power up, like maybe Dragon Ball Z? Sorta like that.”
“Okay, but do you see colors or just a shimmering in the air like there’s something there that you can’t quite see clearly? It’s important. If I were to dip in the stream and come back out as a unicorn would you see a pink aura or just a shimmer if I were to pick up some grass?”
“Twilight’s magic is purple, Luna’s is blue, Celestia’s is an orangish-yellow. Uh... Rarity’s is tealish? I think?” Alex offers. “That what you’re looking for?”
“Oh good, colors!” Sonata clapped her hooves together a few times, then looked down at them with a frown. “That feels odd without hands. Anyways, that means you can see magic like a pegasus if a unicorn is actively channeling it, but most other magic will be hard for you to see. Unicorns see tiny sparkles in the colored aura, and some powerful ones can even see a slight discoloration around a flying pegasus.” Sonata closed her eyes in concentration and the water balls wobbled slightly, as if she was losing her grip. “Tell me when you see the water start to change colors, okay? I’m going to try to get it attuned to you.”
Alex stared at the orbs, watching for any little detail. Before his eyes, the water shifted into a rainbow of colors, before finally settling on pink. “I see pink. Looks like we’re in business.”
“Pink? That’s odd, I was going for...huh.” Sonata stopped mid-sentence as she opened her eyes and saw what color the water had settled on. “Oh, right, duh. It’s attuned to you, but right now you’re kinda not you. No big deal.” She concentrated a little more, this time groaning as she slowly wrapped two of the water balls around Alex’s hands. “Okay. So... this might sting a little bit, but it shouldn’t hurt. Oh, summon your keyblade, that might make things easier.”
Following her instructions, Alex called Aubade to his hand. “As you requested, big keysword.”
“Okay. Now as long as I’m remembering this correctly... this should work just fine.” Sonata smiled and brought the last ball of pink water down to wrap around the guard of Aubade and extend down the blade. There was a brief flash of heat followed by the sensation of Alex’s hands going to sleep and immediately waking back up with the annoying prickling tingles all over both hands.
The tingling began to intensify as the water started either seeping into his hands or quickly evaporating, with the gentle pink glow travelling up his arms as it began to leave the water. “Uh... not that I don’t trust you but... what exactly are you doing?”
“Oh, right, you probably haven’t had a magical theory lecture yet. I’m forcing your body to take in some magic energy to awaken your aetheric channels and allow you to ‘breathe’ the ambient magic fields to recharge yourself. Think of it like a deep-tissue massage for your magic muscles to wake them up so you can start using them. Hopefully you won’t have the same issues sirens do when we use too much water magic without being in water.”
“I doubt that, humans are mammals not, uh, fish.” Giving Sonata an appraising look, he continued. “Unless you’re an amphibian? Nah, probably something closer to a lung fish.”
“Magical pony-fish hybrids who can shapeshift from one to the other, easiest when entering or leaving a body of water, but we can float around as flying fish too. Magic is funny like that.” Sonata giggled as she stood up and walked closer. “Okay, got your arms just about done, and your blade’s been imbued so you should be able to channel through it as well as cast without it. I just need to do one last thing to get you fully attuned to the most basic water spell.”
“Okay, what’s that?”
Sonata suddenly threw the water ball she’d been looking at him through right into his face and began running away. “Tag, you’re it!”
“Gah!” Alex shook his head, his hair plastering to his face. “That’s was a cheap shot and you know it!” Unable to keep a smile off his face, he ran after her, feeling better than he had in the last few days.
Alex groaned as he woke up. His arms were throbbing and tingling, and for some reason he could taste raspberries. Sonata had told him his arms would probably feel funny for a few days as his body adjusted, but this was a little beyond a funny feeling.
“Discord..? You up? I don’t feel too great...” he called, reaching clumsily towards his nightstand for his glass of water.
“Oh for…” Discord’s voice was faintly heard from another room, followed by a snap and the appearance of a version of him wearing a facemask and scrubs, but bent over backwards and looking at him upside-down. “Alright, what seems to be the problem my boy?”
“Arms all funny... Taste raspberries, wait, no... it’s changing flavor suddenly.” After a few more blind grabs and a bit of spilled water, Alex brought his cup to his face and took a rather sloppy drink. He made a pitiful sound, wiping the water from his chin.
Discord quirked an eyebrow and rotated his head like an owl as he backed closer, a pair of goggles with a series of layered lenses appearing over his eyes with the layered lenses constantly switching out. “Hmmm, just what did you and that siren get up to yesterday? I’m not going to judge if you decided to indulge yourself with another female-bodied person, since there’s no real risk of unforeseen consequences and you’re both stuck with bodies that look younger than you really are.”
“Fish-horse woke up aethic channels,” Alex grumbled, cracking an eye up to look up at Discord.
“I’m going to assume the fact that you just woke up is keeping you from remembering the right word. Let me just…” With a snap, the goggles grew dozens more lenses, and this time they started switching out in a careful sequence as Discord took his time carefully examining things. Alex’s glass of water was refilled and given a crazy straw after the first few minutes, and for a few seconds all sound simply ceased before suddenly returning. “Alright Alex, I’ll be right back with a special professional consult on matters of magic, but I think I see what the problem is. Your salmon seductress forgot to do something important.”
Discord didn’t really wait for a response before vanishing with a snap. This was accompanied by a gasp from another room that was quickly silenced. A few seconds later a red-faced Twilight appeared next to Alex’s bed, followed by Discord with a towel wrapped around his waist. “It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve seen one, Purplesmart, and Alex’s problem is more important than your opinions on my decency.”
“That doesn’t mean I want you popping into my room with it out!” Twilight snapped, glaring up at him. “You’re lucky Spike has his own room now.” Fluffing her wings, she let out a long sigh. “Now, let’s see what’s going on with Alex.”
“Spike’s a teenage dragon and you waited until you had a castle to give him his own room? For shame, Twilight.” Discord teased gently before his expression turned serious and he held out the pair of odd goggles he’d just been wearing. “I’ll save you the time of calibrating your spells. Put these on and you’ll see the problem. I can correct some of the chaotic bits going on, but I can’t do anything about how fast he’s pulling in the energy other than outright removing his arms.”
“We’re not amputating his arms,” Twilight stated firmly, slipping the goggles on. “And you said Sonata ‘woke up’ his aetheric channels? Whoa...” She simply stared for a minute before speaking again. “Okay, I’m going to have to have a word with her about leaving something like this to a trained professional.”
“S’wrong?” Alex inquired, blinking the sleep from his eyes.
“Quite simply, my boy, your arms feel funny because Sonata either forgot to lower the energy she used to non-immortal levels or didn’t think to account for your body only being able to hold a limited amount of energy at a time. That odd taste in your mouth is because you’re overcharged, like licking a battery.”
“I think we can safely bleed it out,” Twilight spoke, lifting the goggles from her gaze. “We’ll need someplace to put it. I think we’d be in agreement that letting wild magic loose in your home is a bad idea.”
“Well, I wouldn’t complain about a little extra ambient chaos, but just letting wild magic free in a room with someone in Alex’s current condition is simply foolish. If he’s still pulling energy in as quickly as possible he’d just absorb it all again in an instant.” Discord stretched until his back popped and let out a satisfied groan before reaching into Twilight’s mane and pulling out a rack of small empty bottles. “Condense and liquify?”
“I don’t see any better way to deal with it.” Twilight lit her horn up, taking Alex’s arms in her magic. “Alright... whoa... whoa!” She quickly ceased actively channeling for a moment, allowing Alex’s arms to drop to his bed as she reached up to her horn. “Okay, change of plans. He’s still absorbing energy way too fast.”
Alex let out a whimper as the tingle intensified in his arms, and the constantly-shifting flavor in his mouth quickly settled on various grape flavors all mixed together. “C-can you not do that again?”
“Right, give me a minute here to figure out how to correct this oversight. For all we know she forgot to add in a safe limit because she’s a siren and they’re always pulling in spare magic to compensate for their shapeshifting…” Twilight muttered while she looked around the room for a moment and pulled a quill and paper off of Alex’s desk.
“It has to be a reasonable level. Enough that his body can get used to having it while leaving room to grow.” Discord took Alex’s drink, holding it for him. “Aubade should help in that regard, much more for him than it did for Celestia.”
“Right, obviously. Unicorns might generate a fair bit of magic, but we... they still need to take in supplemental ambient magic during periods of heavy exertion.” Twilight sketched out a plan a few times, taking multiple sheets of paper to work everything out. “What about a stackable reductive intake? I can bring him down by fifty percent each time until he’s at a more normal rate of absorbing ambient magic.”
“That sounds like a good place to start.” Discord nodded while looking down at Alex. “I just want to make sure this is all done safely so Fluttershy doesn’t have anything to worry about when I let her leave her room.”
“Jus’ fix it,” Alex groaned, flexing his fingers. “Stop dicking around and make me better.” Grabbing a pillow, he weakly threw it at Discord’s head.
Discord sighed, letting the pillow hit him in the face. “It’s not his fault, not his fault at all. Just an unfortunate mixture of hormones.”
Twilight nodded and quickly got to work shaping the spell she’d written out, creating small glowing lines and runes in the air near Alex’s arms before each casting of the spell sank in slowly. It took six repetitions before some of the tingling sensation in Alex’s arms subsided, and another two before Twilight and Discord moved on to extracting the excess energy and bottling it up. “Just tell us when you stop tasting things that aren’t in your mouth, okay? We only want to get you to the point of comfort rather than draining you completely.”
Draining out the excess energy took the better part of an hour, and left the shelf of bottles half-full of glowing blue liquid. “Okay now Alex, is there still some lingering discomfort?”
“I think he’s a bit more antsy to get downstairs and eat something at this point, Twilight. I’ll take care of keying the rest of these bottles for him to use before bed to collect just enough so that he starts being able to hold the energy in more of his body. Why don’t you scoot on home so you can teach Sonata why we make sure to properly finish things that are only supposed to be done by fully trained authorities rather than cutting things short because it should be ‘good enough.’”
“Discord preaching about acting responsible? Are you sure you didn’t hit your head earlier?”
“Don’t test me, Twilight, or I’ll make sure you see much more than a brief glimpse of me the next time Fluttershy wants to have a special weekend morning.”
Twilight giggled. “I think you’re settling into a parental role pretty well, Discord.”
“Oh get going, and make sure you knock on Spike’s door before opening it if you don’t want your misconceptions of innocence shattered.”
“What’s that supposed to-”
A pop filled the air, whisking Twilight from the room. Grabbing Alex’s pillow, Discord fluffed it and eased it back under Alex’s head. “Feeling better? Thankfully for all of us, it’s a Saturday. So, no need to worry about falling behind.”
“Yeah, I’m feeling a little better now that my hands don’t feel like they’re half-numb. So, you and Fluttershy-”
“Have a healthy relationship, one which will no doubt be causing plenty of gossip over the next couple of years. Now, about those little motes of chaos your body sucked up. It doesn’t look like anything harmful, but I have a feeling you don’t want things to get too unpredictable about your body so I’ll just take those back. Without your body trying to suck up every ounce of available magic constantly you won’t have to worry about any of it again either.”
“Fine with me.” Alex rested his head back, looking up at Discord. Shifting into a more comfortable position, he searched for a few words. “Hey uh... thanks. For putting up with me.”
“Eh, you’re nowhere near as crazy to deal with as my daughter was for the first few months, and you’re a nice kid since you have an adult’s brain in your head, so you’re not an immature little shit like some teenagers can be.” Reaching out, Discord brushed a few strands of hair out of Alex’s face. “I’ll go let Shy know that everything is alright and see about getting breakfast going. You just stay in bed, alright?”
“Yeah, alright.” Alex watched Discord move towards the door before speaking again. “You really are a good dad, just so you know. Best mom’s boyfriend I know of.”
“I should certainly hope so. She was on her twelfth when you woke up and I had to copy myself to help you out too.” Smirking back, Discord winked at him. “You’re not such a bad girlfriend’s kid, Alex.”
“Wait, twelve... before I asked for help? And you’ve been keeping her occupied since then?”
“Well, yes. Did you think I’d just leave her hanging?”
Alex groaned as he woke up, his body finally having started to feel more normal again after the last few days of hell. The few seconds before he opened his eyes told him there was someone in the bed with him, and the feeling of a fuzzy ear flicking against his chin told him it had to be Fluttershy, having come in to check on him in the night most likely. He brought the hand that wasn’t pinned down up to scratch between her ears. “Morning Fluttershy. You get worried about me again last night? I didn’t have any nightmares, and it wasn’t even because of training with Luna.”
The pony laying beside and on top of him shifted slightly, and Alex felt his blood freeze as they giggled. That wasn’t Fluttershy’s voice. “Funny pony smells more like a sister, but Mommy says I should call you a mister.”
A shrill cry escaped Alex’s lips,followed by a blind swipe of Aubade. “Screw mornings! Get the hell out of my bed!”
“Ohhh, you have Daddy’s keyblade?” The strange voice moved away slightly, and she giggled again. “No wonder she hasn’t been able to use it for so long. Are you going to give it back?” Despite moving far enough away from Alex to be off the bed, there was no sound of hooves hitting the floor or wings beating.
“Alex? Is everything okay in there?” Fluttershy’s voice came from the other side of the door, and was followed by a knock.
“Mom! Crazy stalker pony!” Alex shouted back, scrambling to his feet and holding Aubade in front of him. “Who the fuck are you!?”
Fluttershy opened the door quickly after Alex’s shout and immediately moved in front of Alex with her wings flared out in a full primal threat display; one that didn’t falter despite the fact that the other pony in the room was doing something impossible.
A light purple earth pony was floating about a foot off the floor. Her mane was a darker purple with a few sparse white stripes, and for some reason she was wearing a yellow and white beanie with a green propeller sticking out of the top. “I’m no stalker, I’m Discord’s daughter.”
“Discord’s... daughter?” Alex questioned, keeping Aubade level. “He has a daughter?”
The strange mare reached up under her hat, and far more of her foreleg vanished than should have been possible before she pulled out a large and old-looking piece of paper. She held this out to Alex and Fluttershy with a smile that was far too wide to be comforting.
“I-uh, he might have mentioned it a couple times, but he always sounded sad so I figured she’d had something happen to her.” Fluttershy didn’t back down at all, and actually flared her wings open further while ruffling her feathers to try and appear even larger as the strange mare floated closer briefly.
The mare seemed to get the message and came to a stop. “I won’t harm mister sister. Just want a nice visit.” She lowered herself down to the floor, and nudged the piece of paper forward with one hoof before taking a couple steps back.
Alex leaned forward and carefully picked up the piece of paper, then held it in front of Fluttershy’s face after reading the gilt lettering at the top of ‘Certificate of Royal Birth.’ The writing on the paper was old-fashioned, but still mostly recognizable as Equestrian/English on a basic level. The embellishments on the letters made the lines a little too cluttered for Alex to make out easily though. Fluttershy began reading it out loud after a few seconds. “It be hereby certified that a filly, henceforth to be known by the name of Pandemonium, has been born into the royal family on the fifth day after winter wrap-up in the fifteenth year after the unification of Equestria. The filly has a coat of pale lavender with a mane of purple hue with thin white stripes, and exhibits physical characteristics consistent with an earth pony despite her parentage...oh my that certainly is an old way of thinking. Let me see, sired by Prince Celestine Solaris and foaled by Dis...FOALED by Discord?” Fluttershy sat down heavily, trailing off completely at that.
“Discord pulled a Loki?” Alex questioned, letting Aubade vanish. “Huh, that seems completely in character for him. Where is Discord anyway?”
“Mom left after letting me in. Said he had to go clean up his old place a bit before turning it into a set of extra rooms for here.” Pandemonium seemed to have calmed down a bit, and at least sounded somewhat less excited. “C-can I hug little sister again? Little sister feels warm.”
“He did say something about doing some housekeeping last night.” Fluttershy folded her wings back up and smiled sheepishly at the other, much older mare. “I-uh...sorry. W-would you like some tea, maybe?”
Alex stepped off his bed and kneeled in front of Pandemonium. “Uh, sure. You can hug me. But, I don’t think we’re actually sisters yet. Fluttershy and Discord aren’t married.”
“Don’t care!” She laughed in a slightly disturbing way before floating up and latching on to Alex with all four legs in a strong hug accompanied by a nuzzle against his chest. “Wanted a sister or brother too long to care about silly things like laws. Mommy’s courting again, that’s all that counts.”
Fluttershy giggled softly before heading out of the room now that the situation had been explained, satisfied that anyone whose first real request was for a hug couldn’t be bad. “I’ll be back in a bit with some tea then, for myself if neither of you want some.”
“I could do with some tea,” Alex said, putting his hands on Pandemonium's shoulders. “Hey now, no need to glomp me. I get you’re excited but jeez, I’m not a teddy bear. And uh... don’t nuzzle there. Please.”
She let go and floated back a little with her head tilted slightly sideways. “Sorry? Yes, yes, sorry. It’s just...family, family that I don’t have to leave behind because... nevermind.” She shook her head and held out her right foreleg. “I’m Screwball. You’re Alex, right? Mommy said Alex…”
“Yup! I’m Alex Lionheart.” Taking Screwball’s forehoof, he gave it a shake. “Pleasure to meet you.”
“Lionheart?” She tilts her head back the other way, then nods and smiles. “Fight to defend family and others, strong, brave. Why no nuzzle? Was just trying to be nice to new sister.”
Alex rubbed the back of his head. “You scared us both. I’m not very good with surprises. Especially not with the week I’ve been having.”
“So... no nuzzle because it was surprising?” She seemed confused, and she lowered herself to the floor again while her rear leg is brought forward like a dog to scratch behind her ear. “I’m not... not barking right? Trying to get things controlled, but... hard.”
“Oh. The nuzzle. Well uh...” Alex coughed into his hand. “On a human, the chest is where the uh... teats are...” he explained. “But uh. No you are not barking.”
“Oh, so it’s a sensitive spot.” She nodded and sighed as she finished scratching behind her ear. “Always sensitive on humans? Mine are only that bad if I’m nursing...which is rarer than I like.” She blinked a couple times and something in her eyes shifted. They became clearer somehow, and Alex could finally see a pupil in them. “Ohhhh, that’s better. Managed to kick the bugs out for a bit.”
“Yeah, it’s uh, sensitive,” Alex agreed. “And because I have body issues.” Clearing his throat, he reached out to scratch her ears. “So uh, whose ‘Celestine’? That Celestia’s big brother or something? Her dad?”
“Oh, no, Daddy got turned into a mare by Mommy, then got mad when Mommy couldn’t turn him back. Now Daddy goes by ‘Celestia’ because it was the first thing aunt Luna called him. Her... her now, keep forgetting. Daddy gets sad when I call her him now, or use her old name.”
Alex stared at her for a moment, unable to speak. “S-she’s like me?” he asked softly.
Screwball stares at Alex for a moment, then shakes her head. “No, even if you’re a colt who got turned into a filly, Daddy has been fine with being a mare for centuries now. She only gets sad because I tend to forget stuff when I go into one of my less stable phases. I think it’s more because my mind is warped than anything to do with being female at this point.”
“Do you think... she’d talk to me about it?” Alex asked, looking into her eyes.
“Oh, umm, maybe? I mean, if she knows about you already and hasn’t volunteered anything she probably thinks things are a bit too different for her thoughts to be of any help.” Screwball smiled nervously, and her eye briefly twitched.
Alex sighed, nodding his head. “Right, right. If she doesn’t want to talk about it, I won’t bring it up.” Patting her head, he stood up. “So, wanna go get some tea? Shy makes some pretty good brews.”
“Oh, no, I mean that if she hasn’t volunteered anything to you she probably thinks she can’t help. If you ask her about it she might be uncomfortable for a bit, but if you explain and she realizes she can help she will. Dad’s gotten very... well, she feels like she’s everypony’s mother at times… It feels so weird to say that.” She walked over to the door as she talked, following along behind Alex.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Being that it was a lazy Sunday, Alex had decided to remain in his sleepwear; the shirt he had arrived in and a pair of underwear. “What made you drop by anyway?”
“I wanted to check up on one of my great-grandfoals here in Ponyville. Silly family chaos curse looks like it’s been broken for one generation since Spoiled Milk’s filly has a name that isn’t outright insulting. I heard in town about Mom’s marefriend adopting a strange foal and decided to meet the new family member.”
“I’m a teenager again, not a foal.” Flopping down on the couch, he let the usual animals join him. “I’d be in way worse shape if I had become a kid again.”
“Teenager, preschooler, there’s little difference when you’re my age, little sister... er, brother? Um, which would you prefer?” She hopped up onto the couch next to Alex, and the animals gave her a little space and a few cautious sniffs before some of them dogpiled her even more thoroughly than they did Alex normally.
“Whatever is easier for you.” Alex moved over to give her more space. “But, I lean more towards brother. At the moment. I think. It’s complicated.”
Screwball giggled slightly. “Complicated. That’s a word that describes our family perfectly. Lord of Chaos, Princess of Equestria, First Heir to the Solar Throne, keyblade user, and Element of Kindness... Yes.” She smiled and shook her head slightly, wordlessly and soundlessly getting the various animals to give her a little more space. “So, little brother Alex. I like saying that.”
“I didn’t have an siblings before,” Alex said, while petting a fox’s back. “It was just me... and my folks.”
“So we’ll both be doing something new. Hurray for new things.” She didn’t shout, but still managed to sound excited about the idea. “I’ll finally be able to do some things with family that I always wanted to do, but couldn’t.”
“Like what?” Alex asked, turning his head to see Fluttershy walking in with a tray of tea on her back. “What kind of tea did you make?”
“Oh, um, it’s a white tea with almond and vanilla. It doesn’t really have a specific name, but I like it.” Fluttershy slips the tray off her back and onto the nearby table without a sound coming from anything on it. “It’s a good, light, morning tea I think.”
“Well, ever since it started I’ve kinda wanted to do a family costume for Nightmare Night.” Screwball shifted her position on the couch, and the couch groaned softly as it extended slightly to make room between her and Alex for Fluttershy to sit down as well.
Fluttershy took the opening, pouring them all a cup of tea. “I don’t really celebrate Nightmare Night. It’s a bit too much for me.” Putting a wing around Alex, she gave a soft smile. “Don’t let that hold you back from having fun though.”
“Oh, um, okay. I guess I could try and have fun with it. What’s it like?”
“Oh it’s super fun.” Screwball did her best to keep her voice low. “Everypony wears costumes to hide who they are from the spooky Mare in the Moon and goes around collecting candy from houses. Most towns have a dusty statue of her that they bring out to a field or open area and all the fillies and colts are told a story about how they need to leave tribute to avoid the wrath of Nightmare Moon, and most of the time this candy is collected and brought to local hospitals for foals who were too sick to go out themselves.”
“Oh, so it’s basically Halloween then… that makes a scary amount of sense.” Alex lifted his cup, blowing on it before taking a sip. “Halloween’s all commercialized now but back when it was practiced by its original followers, it was a day of spirits. The ancients believed that one day a year, the barrier between the spirit world and the human world would thin. On that night, people carved faces into turnips to ward off spirits. They also took to dressing up like ghosts and monsters to blend in with the wandering spirits. Going from door to door for candy didn’t become a thing until the Irish brought the holiday to America and corporations realized they could make assloads of money off it.”
“I-I honestly don’t remember why it first came about. Aunt Luna wasn’t ever really bad, but I couldn’t do much as a foal to help her. I suppose she must have done a few horrible things when she lost herself, but I can’t remember them. I know she never ate other ponies though.”
“That’s just how legends go.” Alex shrugged. “You know, I’ve have a ton of books and stuff on my tablet. I’ve been considering transcribing them on paper. Give everyone a glimpse into my world. Make some money on the side or something like that.”
“Make sure you give credit to the original author, Alex. Even if there’s no way to get the money to them, ponies can be strict about proper credit if there’s any way to prove it.”
“Uh-huh.” Screwball sounded somewhat subdued. “I remember an artist tried suing me once for stealing his concept when I sneezed while walking down a Manehattan street and every building was covered in random colored blotches as a result. Tried to claim that me doing that all at once by accident made his works look ‘cheap’ in comparison.”
“Right, right. Be ethical, got it.” Alex nodded, letting Fluttershy snuggle against him.
Screwball simply nodded and floated over her cup of tea with a wave of her hoof and no overt display of magic otherwise. “That and don’t go outside if you have a cold.”
A knock at the door of the classroom interrupted Cheerilee in the middle of a response to a question on division. She walked over and cracked the door open before stepping back in surprise. “Oh, Spike. I’m in the middle of a lesson right now.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, but this is from Princess Celestia herself for Alex, so Twilight told me to come right over and give it to him.” The young dragon’s voice was clear enough to be heard throughout the classroom, and a few other students were either stareing or glaring at Alex as a result.
“Oh, well, alright. You can give that to me and I’ll make sure he’s able to look at it as soon as he gets a chance, but this is already enough of a disruption as it is.” Cheerilee was firm in her response. “I’ll let you in so you can put it on my desk if you want, otherwise I’ll just take it for now.”
“Nah, I don’t want to take up any more time.” Spike passed the letter and gave a wave into the class. “Hope the rest of the day is good, Cheerilee.”
Cheerilee carefully gripped the very end of the scroll between her lips and moved over to the desk to place it down before returning to close the door. “Alright everypony, as I was saying, the reason we have to denote a remainder on any division problem that doesn’t come out perfectly even is because you can’t just pretend that inconvenient numbers don’t exist. If it helps, you can think of a remainder as the money you have left in your saddlebags after you finish paying all of your bills once you’re an adult.”
‘Or an adult again,’ Alex thought to himself, watching as Cheerilee drew a sample problem on the board. ‘And how many older people would tell me to quit complaining and enjoy the extra years? They can talk all they want, they aren’t being treated like a child again.’ The lesson continued on for a bit longer before Cheerilee stepped away from the board and assigned them all a page in the book to refer to and practice the problems on it and the next few similar pages as classwork and homework if they didn’t manage to finish.
A scroll being placed on Alex’s desk snapped him out of his concentration a minute or so into the self-paced part of the classwork, and he looked up to see Cheerilee smiling at him. “I know you know the basics involved here and it’s more our numbers that seem strange, Alex. Go ahead and read what the princess had to write you about and then keep going. Except for the occasional alien digit, your work is always perfect.”
“Thanks, teach.” Alex smiled, lifting up the scroll. “Remind me to snag you an apple or two for tomorrow, will ya?” Carefully breaking the seal, he unfurled it and ran his eyes over the characters covering its inner surface.
“Oh please don’t. I already get a small discount from the Apples on anything over a hoofcount at Granny Smith’s insistence. Oh, and tell Fluttershy I’m sorry about filing that report about your absences. Rules are rules, and ponies tend to take child safety a little too seriously sometimes.” She headed back to her desk quickly, leaving Alex to the letter and his own thoughts.
Dear Alex, I see that my daughter has seen fit to tell you about some history so ancient that I haven’t bothered correcting anypony in centuries when they assume that I have always been a mare. To be perfectly honest, I think I might enjoy speaking with you about the questions you brought up as well as any others that might come to mind over the next few days. Fluttershy may come and visit the gardens if she likes, and my daughter is always welcome, but please make it clear to Discord that I would still not be comfortable in the same room as him for the foreseeable future, and he is not invited at this time. Sincerely, Princess Celestia.
‘Okay, I wasn’t expecting that. Not at all. Guess I know what we’re doing this weekend.’ Rolling the scroll up, he slid it into his pocket. Cracking his neck, he doubled down on his math problems, with the occasional bit of help from Snails. Diamond Tiara also shot him a few occasional glares over her shoulder, but kept her mouth shut for once.
“So Celestia’s still mad about it after all these years, really?” Discord sounded mildly upset as he slowly started to peel his flattened upper body off of the table, eliciting a few giggles from Screwball at his antics as he reinflated himself by blowing into one of the fingers on his lion paw.
“I mean, you turned her into a ‘her’,” Alex pointed out, watching the display in grotesque fascination. “So, you miss her that much?”
“We had a huge thing for each other, and I honestly wish I’d never just gone and done that without trying to reverse it on someone other than myself first. If it wouldn’t risk absolutely everything that’s happened over the last thousand years or so I’d go back and stop myself...but that’s far too much to risk, including yourself and Fluttershy, Alex.” He snapped his fingers and a small bottle of bubbling, multi-hued fluid appeared in his palm. “The best I could ever come up with is this potion, which only lasts a few hours unless the drinker becomes pregnant...which is very likely if the drinker is a stallion or other male gaining a female body since it induces heat as well in that case. Bringing Celestine back for only a few hours would just hurt her more at this point.”
Alex stared at the bottle, feeling his mind racing quickly. “Please take that away before I go to places I really don’t want to go,” he finally spoke, closing his eyes. “It wouldn’t help me either.”.
“Actually, I was hoping you’d bring it to her for me so she could have it examined for general medical use by the royal doctors.” Discord quickly made the vial vanish into thin air. “I suppose I could just put it in an envelope and have Screwball deliver it instead.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” Alex said, leaning back into the couch. “Sorry that you weren’t invited.”
“I actually expected to not be invited. It’s the deliberate exclusion that hurts, Alex.”
“You’ll be fine, mommy. It’s better than being turned to stone and wept all over afterwards.”
“I deserved to be stoned after what I did. Our breakup fight was so bad she didn’t even let them write legends about how bad I took it.” He looked from Screwball to Alex and sighed. “She kicked me out of the castle, I took Pandemonium with me, and we went back and forth foalnapping her from each other for weeks before I lost control. I destroyed the wards around the gardens of randomness and the zoo of oddities my sister had created as gifts, and the end result was the forest in our backyard.”
Fluttershy looked up from the otter she was counseling and tilted her head. “Sister? You never told me you had a sister.”
“The less said about Eris the better. I’d rather not attract her attention after she went completely nuts. I’m sure she’s gotten better over the centuries, but she actually tried to kill Celestia and was banished to her own pocket dimension. She’s been sealed there for all but a few minutes a year ever since.”
Screwball whimpered softly and held her head between her hooves. “Please...don’t. I-I don’t want to talk about auntie…”
Alex didn’t think as he pulled Screwball into a hug. “Hey, it’s okay. We won’t talk about her, alright?” He soothed, petting her mane. “We won’t talk about anything that you’re not okay talking about.”
“I-I go see her every so often. She’s b-better sometimes.” The grown mare whimpered and hugged Alex back tightly with her eyes squeezed shut. “Brief... brief cheesecake…”
Discord swooped over and effortlessly wrapped himself around Screwball while being as gentle as possible to get her away from Alex. “Shhhh, not now dear, I’m here. Calm down, please. Did you bring your medicine with you?”
Screwball nodded and reached up under her hat. A distinctive blue leaf came out with her hoof, but she began to pull her head back and wrinkle her muzzle before she could get it any further than the edge of her mane. Discord wrapped himself tighter around her and managed to seemingly completely encase her moments before a cacophony of unidentifiable noises sounded out and Discord began to glow in various neon colors.
“Ugh...has anypony been turned into a frog, or animated muffin? Any random changes escape me before she could start chewing?”
“No, I think everyone’s good,” Alex said, patting himself down. “I’m still me, for better or worse.”
“I feel fine. What was that, exactly?” Fluttershy said while looking around the room that was suddenly devoid of animals. “Oh dear.”
“That was a burst of uncontrolled chaos magic. It used to happen all the time when she was a foal, and I’ve talked with her about it since I was reformed. She’s not even sure why she never grew out of it, but she did notice a pattern of warning signs. Headache followed by gibberish.” Discord slowly uncurled from around Screwball, who was resolutely chewing with a disgusted expression on her face. “Poison joke leaves helped mitigate the outward effects when she was a foal, and they should still work. I just reminded her the first time I saw her.”
“Wait...poison joke is a remedy for your daughter’s foalhood magic surges that just never went away? But it causes random things to happen to ponies, playing jokes on them.”
“My dear Fluttershy, most ponies aren’t my daughter or half-chaos half-alicorn hybrids. Of course there’s going to be different effects if you take someone else’s medication.”
Screwball skipped ahead of the guard escort every few seconds, humming happily and occasionally dancing in place as they walked through the castle halls. They were far away from the throne room area that Alex had been shown to the last time he was here for the hearing with the sirens. These hallways were no less clean and sparkling, but they were just slightly less glitzy and decorated.
The group of ponies, plus Alex, turned a corner to be greeted with a familiar-looking tall navy-blue mare with baggy eyes and a nebulous mane and tail. Her face twisted a little as she yawned and brought a hoof up to her mouth. “Oh, I didn’t realize palace tours came this far into the more private areas. Don’t mind me, just off to get some coffee. I’m told family will be visiting today.” She didn’t really seem to recognize Alex, just registering that there were ponies where there usually weren’t any.
“Auntie Woona!” Screwball shouted before running over and wrapping herself around one of Luna’s legs like an oversized filly. Luna looked down and blinked a few times before a smile grew on her face.
“Screwy? You’re here earlier than I expected. I’ve only had a short nap.” Her voice was still slightly slowed, as if she were struggling not to yawn again.
“We all came to see Daddy!” Screwball beamed, floating up to Luna’s face. “Shouldn’t you be asleep, Auntie? Night needs to sleep when day is shining bright!”
Luna giggled and nuzzled Screwball briefly before kissing the underside of her muzzle. “But I took a short nap so I could at least see you today instead of making you stay up late. I certainly couldn’t let my oldest niece visit without at least greeting her.” She yawned once more and gently nudged Screwball back a bit. “Besides, I’ve stayed up later in the day for official business recently.”
Alex stumbled, suddenly finding himself in front of Luna, and Screwball pointed back at him while exclaiming. “Little mister sister! Part of the family now!”
Luna looked at Alex, then back at Screwball, then groaned. “Oh no, I’ve been teaching him how to fight in his sleep, and he’s Fluttershy’s son, and she’s seeing Discord...I’ve been beating up a family member once a week!”
“Hey, you know, I’d much rather have you do it than...” Alex stopped, his joke dying in his throat. “Yeah, just, I enjoy the training sessions.”
“Alex, I do wish you’d talk to someone about the frequency of your nightmares, and the intensity. I’ve never seen anything like it before. I know there’s a therapist somewhere in Ponyville who could help you work things out. Sometimes it’s like your mind is fighting to keep me out when I try to change your dream or wake you up.”
“Now see, that would be a good idea if humans and ponies didn’t have different mental makeups,” Alex replied, looking away from her. It was an excuse, he had no idea how true that was, but it was the response he had ingrained in his mind to such suggestions.
“While my difficulty in entering your mind suggests that such may be true, I still assert that my suggestion is valid. If nothing else, it would at least help with the more mundane nightmares. That one you had of the hotel hallway and the elevators, for example.”
“Auntie, you’re talking silly stuff. Go to bed, therapists want to drill holes in heads.”
Luna patted Screwball on the back. “Perhaps they did once, but now they are much better. Dr. Clear Mind has been helping me adjust to the modern world. I doubt I would be in such a good place if not for her. Please, at least give it a chance, Alex.”
“I promise nothing, but maybe Screwball should see one too? I mean, she hasn’t always been like this, has she?”
“Don’t need help. Find time to shine while flying blind.”
“I think talking to someone about your nightmares would be good,” Fluttershy spoke, putting a hoof on Alex’s leg. “It doesn’t have to be me, or Discord, but it should be someone.”
“I, but...ugh, fine! I’ll go to one session if my big sister does too. Just one, and if it doesn’t help I’ll call it quits.” Alex crossed his arms for a moment before wincing and quickly adjusting the way he positioned them. “Damn stupid body…”
“I take it that’s what you’re coming to ask Celestia about? I will admit, it was interesting coming back from being banished and seeing her so comfortable in her body. I suppose a thousand years to adjust works wonders.”
“Luna, are you chatting our guests’ ears off?” Celestia asked, appearing from around a corner. “You should be heading to bed.”
“You conspire to keep me from my niece during her visit as well, Cerlestia?” Luna started yawning in the middle of her sister’s name and blinked a few times. “Bah, fine, I’m still exhausted as it is, but I want to see you after sunset, Screwy. It’s been months since we spoke.” She didn’t wait for a response, and quickly turned to head back to her room.
“I’ll bark at the moon!” Screwball assured before glomping Celestia. “Hai, Daddy! Mister Sister is here!”
The two royal guards looked at each other for a moment, then shrugged at Screwball’s antics. “I suppose we’re free to return to our posts, Princess?”
“Yes, please do, and make sure to let everyone know that I’m not to be disturbed today, at all, by anypony that doesn’t have a way of contacting me directly.” Celestia’s normal smile faltered only briefly, and she quickly gave Screwball an affectionate hug while nodding to Alex and Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, while I am fine with my old secret being known to you, I would appreciate it if you didn’t spread the word around, especially not to Twilight. I wouldn’t want her to go into one of her nervous moods about me again.”
“Your secret is safe with me,” Fluttershy assured. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” It took her a moment to realize Alex was staring at her. “Oh, it’s just a silly promise Pinkie made up.”
“Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye,” came Alex’s reply, his face wearing a mask of confusion. “Shit’s gettin’ way too weird, and you already can fly.”
“Less talky, more walky!” Screwball giggled and finally released her deathgrip on Celestia to start floating down the hall. “Off to Daddy’s room, where we can sit or lay down comfortably!”
“She may have an odd way to say it, but my daughter is usually right about things like this. I have a feeling our discussion may turn to a few intimate topics. And an echoing hallway is hardly the best place for your privacy, or mine, Alex. Let’s follow her before she gets too far ahead of us.”
Alex followed after Celestia, putting his hands in his pockets. The walk was nice and quiet, filled with a comfortable silence. Thoughts popped into his head, ideas and questions bubbling into existence. He took a breath, trying to calm his nerves.
Celestia came to a stop in front of a relatively simple door decorated with only her cutie mark in slightly faded paint. Screwball was nowhere to be seen, but Celestia seemed to pay no attention to that as she rested her horn against the door for a moment. “Alex, Fluttershy, could you please place your hand or hoof against the door for a moment?”
Fluttershy looked up in confusion for a moment, but quickly moved to the other side of Celestia and lifted her hoof to press it against the door. Alex did the same, looking at Celestia curiously.
Celestia’s horn glowed briefly, and there was a moment of pain like getting a shot at the doctor’s office before the door opened up without anyone touching it further. The wood slid to the side, vanishing into a wall that looked like it was solid stone. “Sorry about the pinch, but the spell needed a quick sample to attune to the two of you. I’d rather not have any complications if Screwball randomly teleports into my private room with either of you one of these days.”
Visible through the now-open doorway was a room that was at once both simple and befitting a princess. A large bed dominated a good portion of the room, but it was only large in comparison to the only other beds Alex had seen in this world to compare it to. Screwball was bouncing on the mattress, having already tossed a few pillows to the floor nearby. The visible walls of the room had inset bookcases, and one wall was nothing but windows and a door to a balcony with a breathtaking view of Canterlot. Other doors were visible here and there, all decorated with either Celestia or Luna’s mark, some both.
“Wow, look at you, living the high life. Little girls would kill for a room like this. Me excluded.” Alex shook his hand, warding off the remaining pain from the door. “Surprised it isn’t just decked out in sun motifs.”
“Really? And here I thought I was depriving myself of some of the more decadent comforts that ponies seem to expect of me. I keep all the art in the public-viewable areas of the castle, and most of the books in here now are either on law or magic rather than anything to read for fun.” Celestia walked over to her bed and gathered up a few of the pillows, only for her to lay down on them rather than put them somewhere else. “So, did you want me to signal to the kitchen for some refreshments first, or would you prefer to talk a little and maybe figure out what you really want to ask me?”
“Uh, food is good.” Sitting down, Alex crossed his legs. The floor was a little confusing as it looked and felt like solid marble under his feet, but as he sat down he sank into it slightly, and found it quite like a couch cushion. “Some fish would be good.”
“Fish for you. I remember that Lady Aqua preferred steamed shrimp with something she called cocktail sauce, or fried clams, but I know we also have some tuna and salmon dishes for when griffons and hippogriffs visit. What would you prefer, exactly? You as well, please, Fluttershy.”
“Oh, um, I’d be fine with a salad with a little salmon on top, thanks.”
“Random sampler!” Screwball stopped bouncing for a moment, then dropped down to lay on the very edge of the mattress from where she’d frozen in midair.
“I’d take a cocktail.” Alex sighed, shaking his head. “But I promised Shy I wouldn’t drink. So, I’ll just take some tuna.”
“One salad with salmon, one random sampler,” Celestia’s horn glowed as she spoke, thought it was barely visible compared to when she was actively using it. “Make that random sampler from the special menu for my daughter. One griffon-style tuna platter, cooked medium, and one sunrise quiche. Send up a pastry tray for four as a compliment.” She closed her eyes and cut off the tiny amount of magic it had taken to send the order down to the kitchen. “How have things been for you since you arrived, Alex? I know that there was the incident with the sirens and the mirror, but other than that?”
Alex grunted, putting his hands in his lap. “I’d prefer if people didn’t treat me like I was glass. That and dealing with being blindsided by a particular quirk of human biology wasn’t fun.” He snapped his fingers. “Oh! And base four math. I could do without that.”
“You’ve been here less than a month, and you at least appear younger than Lady Aqua was when she arrived. There’s not a whole lot I can do to make ponies stop treating you like they would any other unknown child.” She paused and glanced at Fluttershy with a smile. “I can assure you, at least, that humans are quite resilient. I recall a few occasions back during training and in actual combat where Lady Aqua was able to fight on after being hit by an attack that had just knocked myself or Luna out of the fight for a time.”
“That’s nice, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m uneasy with the idea of Alex fighting. I know it’ll probably be inevitable, but that doesn’t make me a bad pony for not wanting Alex to be injured.”
Screwball smiled, spinning her propeller. “New Daddy is good at her job, Alex is already calling her Mom.”
Celestia turned to stare at Screwball in shock, and then quickly extended her wing to pull her daughter in against her side. “‘New Daddy?’ You know, just because you call Discord ‘Mom’ doesn’t mean you need to call Fluttershy ‘Dad.’” Her horn lit up in gold once more, and Screwball suddenly let out a shriek, followed by laughter from under her wing.
“Oh, I don’t mind at all,” Fluttershy said, smiling at the sight. “I’m used to Discord not making sense sometimes. If it makes Screwball more comfortable, then she can call me ‘Dad’.” A look of realization passed over her, making her look at Alex. “That’s right, you did call me ‘Mom.’”
“What? No I didn’t.” Alex protested, trying not to blush. “You must have just misheard things while I was yelling about someone in my room.”
Fluttershy smiled and leaned over to nuzzle Alex’s shoulder. “Maybe you’re right, maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. Just make sure you remember that I won’t complain at all if it happens again.”
“Y-yes you d-did!” Screwball managed to gasp out during a reprieve, but was soon laughing again for a few more seconds before Celestia lifted her wing and allowed Screwball to tumble out from under it and onto the floor. “Ohhh, why does the room always spin after you tickle me, Daddy?”
“Because I barely ever let you breathe, because I know you don’t need it as much as normal ponies.” Folding her wing, Celestia smiled at Alex. “Now then, did you come up with any questions yet?”
“Well, yeah, the first thing that came to mind for me was to ask you if you’d even looked into ways to reverse it that don’t involve Discord. I remember him telling me that he’d tried to use it with good intentions a couple times only to have it either backfire or just not work.”
“Hmmm, well, I will admit that I had looked into some other options, but there’s simply nothing in any form of structured magic that can bring about that level of fundamental changes in a body. Even if Discord or others like him or empowered by similar means have a desired effect, they generally don’t use anything that could be documented to achieve this.” Celestia paused and rolled her eyes.
“Sorry, I’m going to have to go into ‘professor mode’ here, but unicorn magic either creates very simple telekinesis or highly structured spell effects that each do one very specific thing through a series of specific rules. Screwy, however, can just reach into her hat and pull out anything she wants as long as it isn’t already enchanted, and when Discord snaps his fingers he’s mentally just telling the universe ‘I want something to happen, make it so.’”
“Wish I could do that.” Alex looked down at himself, sighing. “How did you... deal with it? How’d you wrap your head around it? Get comfortable in your own skin again?”
“Well, a good part of it was talking with my sister in the immediate aftermath, but then things changed with her and I suffered for a few years struggling to adapt to myself. Screwball helped with that too, since caring for a growing filly didn’t leave me with a whole lot of time to mourn for my lost tes-” She cut herself off with a laugh and shook her head slowly. “And then there were her suitors, thinking I didn’t know what a stallion was thinking about doing and getting the shock of their lives.”
“Didn’t stop a few of them.” Screwball giggled and then sighed. “I miss Viridian the most. He was sweet.”
“I’m sorry, Screwball. I know it’s been hard for you, outliving husbands and wives, and foals. Someday there’ll be another male immortal that isn’t bent on world domination, I promise.” Celestia leaned over to nuzzle Screwball’s neck, and then pulled her in tight for a hug. “Another thing that helped was realizing that I was suddenly much more attractive to most stallions and other males rather than only a select few. I was able to take advantage of that a few times.”
Putting his face in his hands, Alex groaned. “I don’t think that last part is going to help. I’m pretty sure I’m still attracted to women but I can’t really know since I’m the only one here. And don’t suggest the mirror world because that place has a really bad case of uncanny valley all over it.”
“Oh, speaking of mirrors, there is more than one that leads to other worlds. Starswirl made a few of them, but I’ve only ever come across two. You, of course, know of the one that Twilight has in her castle now, but there’s another one hidden in a secret room in this castle. I used to visit the other side of that one fairly frequently after my change. I personally wouldn’t suggest that you use it, ever. Personalities are oddly shifted around over there, and you would find yourself facing enemies wearing the faces of your friends or family.”
Screwball stuck her tongue out. “That place is all wibbly-wobbly! Good is evil and evil is good. Mister Sister would meet Sister Mister.”
“I think it’s unlikely that there would be a copy of Alex on the other side of the mirror, Screwball. He wasn’t born here like you or I. I suspect meeting a cruel version of Fluttershy would be more than enough of a shock, though.”
“Like when Discord was still acting evil when he first broke free?” Fluttershy shuddered. “I agree, Alex isn’t going to be touching that mirror or going anywhere near it.”
Celestia fluffed her wings, an uncomfortable look on her face. “Discord wasn’t evil when he broke free. Things between us broke down in a spectacular catastrophe and he took it out on Equestria as a whole. All the while, I passed the problem onto you and your friends instead of just talking to him.”
“Still think you should talk to Mom. He was sad you told us he couldn’t come...OH!” Screwball’s face literally lit up with a glow from within before she pulled an envelope out of her hat. “Potion! Mom wanted you to have doctors check it out. It’s a temporary version of what he did to you, for couples like you were, or for mares who only like mares but want foals.”
Celestia stiffened again and quickly pulled the envelope away from Screwball. The envelope was torn open and the small vial of potion set aside on her mattress so she could read through the pages of documentation herself. “Sorry Alex, this would be a marvelous breakthrough for so many ponies…”
“Why are you apologizing to me?” Alex questioned. “Just because it can’t really help me, doesn’t mean it couldn’t help others.”
“Because it’s taking time away from your questions.” She responded immediately as she flipped to the last page, reading quickly. “Yes, minimal side-effects, stallions stay as mares until a foal is weaned and then change back. That one in ten chance of staying in a mare’s body until a second dose is taken is a little worrying, but...oh. He could only find ten volunteers to begin with. Right…”
“Is that a problem?” Fluttershy fluffed her wings briefly as she looked up at Celestia’s expressionless face.
“Sample size.” Alex idly scratched between Fluttershy’s ears briefly. “If he’d tested it on a thousand ponies and it happened to one in ten it would be a bit more conclusive, but testing it on only ten ponies and having one of the stallions not turn back until given a second dose is completely worthless. Depending on the stallion to mare ratio, it could be one in five stallions or it could be one in a million and it was just his bad luck…”
“Daddy will have to test, test, test, to get the best, best, best results,” Screwball added, rolling onto her back. “Don’t wanna mess, mess, mess.”
“Well, not myself directly.” Without even looking over, one of Celestia’s wings extended to wiggle a feather above Screwball as she lay on her back. “I will definitely hand this over to medical researchers, though, and see what variations can be made. A few hours is fine for couples, but possibly not long enough for someone who wants to just experiment a little.”
“Or fix my problem,” Alex sighed, shaking his head. “Not even sure it’s a problem. My mind’s all... screwed up.”
“According to what I’ve read from Twilight about you, this kind of thing is not as rare on your world. It’s common enough, in fact that you and the human version of Rarity were able to have a discussion about the subject, which suggests that there’s a reason it’s almost unheard-of here.” Celestia set the documentation aside and lowered her head so she could look Alex in the eye. “Is there a chance that maybe the universe was correcting some horrible mistake and you’re only fighting it because it’s different?”
Silence filled the room and Alex let himself fall onto his back. “I don’t know. I don’t fucking know.” He took in a shuddering breath, feeling his eyes moisten. “I just... I don’t know.”
Celestia and Screwball looked at each other for a moment while Fluttershy immediately draped a wing over Alex in a small gesture of comfort. After a few seconds he was surrounded by warmth as Celestia and Screwball joined in the awkward hug. “It’s alright to cry, Alex. Nopony’s going to judge you here. You’ve got the kindest mare you could ask for as a mother and two ponies who’ve seen far worse things in their lives. Go ahead and let it out.”
“Will, I don’t know why you think this is a good idea. Buying an airship to take ponies on a cruise? I thought your assertiveness lecturing was raking in the bits? Surely just one mare being dissatisfied isn’t a good reason to give up on something that was working so well for you.”
“Ha!” Iron Will laughed, slapping the younger minotaur on the back. “You worry too much about your big brother! Iron Will thinks you should just worry about finishing your training.” Standing proudly, he gestured to the airship around them. “This will be Iron Will’s great comeback!”
Steel Spine sighed and looked down at the clipboard in his hand. “Well, according to what I saw as I was going through this, you’re going to need every bit you’ve ever saved just to get this thing back in working order. You’re going to need to take out a loan to make enough improvements to bring it anywhere close to luxury cruise standards, and then you’re going to need more money to have it certified as safe enough to carry passengers all while hoping nothing else breaks while you’re repairing it, or between repairing it and having it inspected. This is just a bad idea.”
“You have to take risks to succeed!” Iron Will argued, flexing his muscles.
“You were already...ugh.” Steel Spine handed the clipboard over to his brother and started heading for the stairs to the upper deck. “I’ll go by the lumberyards to see if anyone’s willing to give you a good enough deal that you can replace all of the wood instead of just where it’s rotting away. I used to admire you for helping others feel confident, Iron, but if you half-ass this you’ll disgrace the whole family.”
Iron Will snorted grabbing Spine by the shoulders. “Iron Will never half-asses anything! Iron Will has a family to feed! Don’t you forget that!”
“Unhand me, Iron, or I’ll make sure your nose meets the deck hard enough to remove skin. I’m the one who you were sending the money to for them, the one who put all the extra money in the bank for you since you weren’t here. I’m the one who had to start taking money out of the bank when you stopped giving your lectures. I was using my own money for that too, since you also stopped sending letters for a while and we didn’t know what happened.” Steel didn’t move, waiting for Iron to let go instead of shaking him off.
Will snorted, releasing his grip on Steel. “Don’t question my love for my family,” he started, dropping his bravado. “I will do anything and everything I can to keep them happy and healthy. Even if it kills me.”
“Don’t go that far, Will, please. It was hard enough telling Golden Pipes and Brass Tacks that I didn’t know when you’d be home. Don’t make me tell them you won’t ever be coming home.” Steel’s shoulders sagged as he took a deep breath. “I do need to get going if you want me to see about those special deals. Eagle-Eyed is going to be mad at me for being a few minutes late as it is.”
Nodding his head, Iron Will gave Steel Spine and quick hug. “Much love, always, brother!” Pulling away, he stroked his chin. “Iron Will will stay here and inspect the rest of the ship. You go on ahead.”
“You make sure you get home before dark, Will. Brassie’s been looking forward to seeing his father all week.” Steel Spine walked away from his brother, and soon his hoofsteps stopped echoing through the otherwise-vacant airship.
“Iron Will will be home right on time,” the lone minotaur spoke, moving towards the bow of the airship. So much work, so much effort laid before him but he wasn’t going to... what was that? Black masses seeped out of the seams between wooden planks, taking form. Diminutive black-imp like creatures stared up at him with glowing yellow eyes, their movements erratic and twitchy.
“Tiny little stowaways? Iron Will says go away!” He flexed his arms briefly to try and intimidate them along with his yell, and he pointed back towards the doorway he’d just walked through. To his dismay, they did not in fact go away.
One of them leaped forward, slashing at his chest. More and more appeared around him, each leaping and attacking him. Soon, a whole horde of them dogpiled onto Iron Will and their weight dragged him to the floor.
“Gah! Let Iron Will go!” he shouted, trying and failing to push the creatures off. “Iron Will has to get home!” His hands seemed to pass right through them, and there was an odd squirming under his back as the ones he landed on melted away.
A slightly larger creature, with strange, jagged horn-like projections sticking out of the back of its head, climbed up on Iron Will’s chest and stared down at him with those eerie, unblinking yellow eyes. It jabbed a hand into his head, reaching deep down into his soul. Iron Will felt a strange and deeply unsettling tug as it pulled its hand out, and a crystalline heart floated up out of the minotaur.
“N-no... no, please... Goldie... Brass…” Iron Will felt everything go cold around him, and could soon see nothing but endless blackness.
Apple Bloom backed away from the open brown door that currently looked in on Scootaloo riding a giant mixer in a canyon filled with whipped cream. “Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are having nightmares about their cutie marks too?”
“It’s been a busy night for us all, but I think it’s time to bring it to a close.” Luna smiled down at the filly before lighting her horn up and causing two other doors to appear, one of which was clearly the entrance to the CMC tree-clubhouse. The other door was flat and plain, with a chain and padlock made of purple energy. “Hmmm, seems I might need to step in and help Alex after I’m done with you girls. My assistant must be in over her horn if she’s still not done yet.”
“Huh? Whaddya mean by that, Princess?”
“Nevermind, Apple Bloom. Let’s get you and your friends together here so you can tell them what you figured out.” Luna ushered her young subject towards the clubhouse door with a gentle nudge of her hoof.
“But, what about Alex? Can’t we help with his nightmares?” Apple Bloom asked, glancing at the other door.
“That would be unwise. Alex’s nightmares are troubling even for me, and his last few have been related to medical concerns that we ponies simply do not need to deal with and he considers to be of utmost privacy.”
Apple Bloom’s mouth shaped into an ‘o’. “Is that ‘cause he’s really a colt?”
“That’s a part of it, and the fact that his body isn’t is another part. I can’t say any more without feeling like I’m betraying an unspoken trust, so you’ll have to simply ask him for yourself sometime. Maybe try becoming his friend more than you have so far?”
“An’ give Diamond Tiara a chance to make fun of five ponies at once?”
“Why not see it as a chance for five ponies to stand up to a bully together instead?”
“Say...that does sound better…” Apple Bloom and Luna both walked through the door to the clubhouse, and neither of them were present as the chains and lock on the door to Alex’s mind faded from purple to black.
“Your mom’s bedridden, again. That makes you the woman of the house, so go make something for us to eat you little shit.” His father didn’t even wait two minutes after Alex got home to start being abusive while he lounged on the couch watching some random news program. “Why not put on something nice too? You look like a damn boy in those clothes.”
“I’ll wear whatever I like,” Alex replied, adjusting his backpack. Not waiting for a response, he made his way upstairs. Pausing at the first door in the hall, he peeked his head in. “I’m home, Mom.”
She raised her head slowly and groaned. “Oh, hey Alex. I’m so sorry, it’s been another day from hell for me. How was school today? Learn anything fun, dear?” His mother’s hair had a slick, oily look to it and the pillow under her head was visibly soaked with sweat.
Stepping into the room, Alex knelt by the side of her bed. “Just some biology stuff, few physics laws.” Easing her back down, he grabbed her water bottle and stepped into the bathroom to refill it. “Do you need anything?”
“Some chicken ramen would be nice. I don’t really think I could keep anything else down, and I think your father might...nevermind, I’m just being paranoid, honey.” She smiled and did her best to lift herself up off the bed and hold out her arm for a hug.
Placing her water bottle back onto the nightstand, Alex slid in for a loose hug. “Chicken ramen it is. You just relax, okay?”
“Alright. You be careful with your father, okay? I know he’s been drinking today, and I can barely move right now. I’ve got the portable phone here in case I hear anything.” She lowered herself back down onto the bed and sighed. “I worry about you and him. He’s been getting strange ever since we had you.”
“I’ll be fine, I promise,” Alex assured, tucking her back in. “Just lay back and relax. I’ll bring your ramen up in a few minutes.” He kissed her head, then dropped his bag off in his room before going down into the kitchen.
His father had either gotten up at some point to grab a liquor bottle, or it had been hidden from view when Alex first walked in, because he was taking a long drink straight from it as Alex came back downstairs. “Hey, you were up there that long and couldn’t even put on that dress your mother bought you? You some kinda dyke, girl?”
“Getting mom something to eat is more important than putting a dress on.” Walking past him, Alex turned on the stove. “If it’s that important to you, you put it on.”
A set of heavy footfalls was followed by a harsh grip on his shoulder and being shoved against the counter. “You just talk back to me? I need to remind you the difference between men and girls, why girls need to respect their fathers?” Alex could smell the whiskey on his father’s breath now, and a chill ran down his spine as he was pinned in place. “Or was that your idea of begging for a real lesson on being a girl?”
Alex shivered, a dagger of fear wedging into his heart. “I have to make her something to eat.” Reaching back he grasped whatever he could reach.
“She can wait. You gave her eggs earlier, and I haven’t heard you say yes or no yet.” He leered down at Alex, and reached up to clumsily, drunkenly grope Alex’s breast for a moment. “You’re gonna be a big girl soon, aren’t you? Your mom keeps getting sick like this and I might just see how big a girl you are.”
“Excuse me, sir, do you have any grey poupon?” An oddly-familiar voice spoke up suddenly from behind Alex’s father before an eagle talon holding a jar of the mustard suddenly burst through the man’s shirt. “Nevermind, looks like I found some.” The clutching hand pulled back, and the man let out a choked, wet sound as the hand and jar seemed stuck on one side with someone else on the other. “Hmmmm, I seem to be stuck. Would you unhand my son’s breast before I decide to rip your lungs out through your testicles so I can get my hand back?”
“D-Discord?” Alex stuttured, too terrified to move. His mind reeled, full of disgust, revolution, and confusion. The beginnings of a headache throbbed through his brain as he stared at the impossibility that was Discord.
“Sorry for disrupting what I’m sure was an absolutely wonderful family reunion, Alex,” Discord dropped the mustard jar and pulled his hand back before snapping and forcing the dream construct of Alex’s father into a set of stocks with a ball-gag. “But this was something even I could feel was causing you pain. I can see why you stick with the term ‘Mom’s boyfriend’ when referring to me without using my name. I’m not sure I want to be compared to someone that you could imagine acting like this.”
Moving without thought, Alex latched onto Discord. Burying his head into Discord’s chest, his shoulders sagged as he started to sob. His legs wobbled like jell-o and he was barely aware of Discord’s paw on his back to hold him up.
Discord sighed and gently hefted Alex up while starting to walk around the house, ignoring the muffled cries of the struggling figment of imagination in the corner. “So, this is where you lived at one point? How boring and angular.” With another quick snap, a few sweet notes started humming in Fluttershy’s voice for Alex.
Almost like a lullaby to a baby, the soothing notes seemed to ease Alex’s mind. “It was home...” Alex muttered, wrapping his arms around Discord’s neck.
Discord continued walking around, one hand gently stroking through Alex’s hair and almost seeming to massage his scalp at the same time. “Memories are hard to let go of, Alex, I understand that much better than most. I do think it might be time to let go of some of them, though...and maybe see about preserving the ones you actually want to keep around?”
“No.” Alex shook his head vigorously. “They’re mine. All of them.” It didn’t matter how much those memories hurt. Losing just one of them would be to lose part of himself. And he had very little of himself left, in his eyes.
“Alex, even I know it’s bad to hold on to this much pain.” Discord’s voice shifted slightly for a moment as they walked into his mother’s bedroom. “As much as I agree with you not wanting to forget what made you who you are; wouldn’t it be nice to remember your mother before her body started falling apart?” Another stroke through Alex’s hair left a strand of inky blackness hanging in front of his eyes before it shifted aside.
Alex stared at the form of his mother, feeling tears running down his face. “I was too young, all those memories are gone. Poof. It’d be nothing but a dream.”
“But we’re in a dream right now, kiddo. Let’s just do a little basic maintenance here for example. First we dry off all her sweat, then we get her hair neatly brushed.” The bedridden figure changed subtly as Discord mentioned the changes, returning a little vigor to the sickly woman. “Hmmm, not sure just how much weight she’s lost, but look how much better she seems already just from effectively making her able to shower.”
“Y-yeah... she does look better,” Alex agreed, absentmindedly scratching at his head as the strand of darkness wriggled into his body.
“So, was this a genetic disease? I mean, if it was you certainly won the lottery by being altered. That’s one rather bright spot in this whole mess I’d say.” Another stroke through Alex’s hair, another dark strand peeled away from Discord’s hand to weave into the lengthening mass as his short hair seemed to slowly grow to match his mother’s style. “I’m pretty sure I could make a picture for you, tug on a few memories too old for you to see clearly and allow you to have a picture of her by your bed…you wouldn’t have to worry about eventually forgetting everything other than that she was sick.”
Alex choked back his emotions, looking up at Discord face with watery eyes. “Y-you can do that? I-I don’t want to forget.”
“Alex, my powers may be based on chaos, but I can do just about anything I want. When I was finally able to stretch for the first time in centuries I made the sun and moon dance in the sky. I’m pretty sure I can do something as simple as making an image from the ghost of a memory.” Discord looked down with a smile and winked, closing one brilliant blue, catlike eye.
Tightening his grip on Discord, Alex nuzzled into his chest fur again. The muffled repetition of ‘thank you’ could be heard.
“All you have to do is open up and let me in, dear boy.” Discord’s voice gained an odd feminine echo for a moment. “I’ve always been an attentive parent when I’m not encased in stone.”
After a moment, Alex gave a nod and the soft reply of “Okay.”
“Thank you, so much.” ‘Discord’ melted away into a nebulous purple cloud as the last tendril of blackness left him with one more stroke, this one actually wriggling into Alex’s ear rather than rooting itself in with his hair. A dull thudding sound began a few moments later as the cloud formed a vaguely filly-like shape and began shaking its head.
“Tantabus?” Alex questioned, his mind chugging like it was stuck in molasses. “What?”
The cloudy filly jumped and tried to tackle Alex, her head angling for the ear the dark tendril was vanishing into as the pounding began to increase in intensity. “No, no no. Not supposed to leave me. Out of him.” The ghostly filly’s voice was weak, barely louder than Fluttershy at her calmest.
“What are you talking about?” Alex leaned on the bed, a hand on his head. His head felt like it was being split open. Some detached part of himself brought up the image of Athena bursting out of Zeus’s head. He stamped it down, the pain taking most of his focus.
The pounding grew louder until the bedroom door finally flew off its hinges and Luna walked in to find Tantabus weakly nuzzling Alex’s head as he clutched it. Her eyes opened wide as she noted Alex’s slightly longer, wispier hair and she strode forward carefully. “Alex...are you alright?”
“My head...” he whimpered, dropping into a kneeling position. The pain drilled deep down, a feeling of a something wriggling through his body spreading over him.
“I couldn’t stop her, momma. I tried to keep her down but his nightmare was so strong.” Tantabus bit at Alex’s hair and tried to pull on the darker, longer strands. “She got out, and she asked him to let her in, he said yes. We were pretending to be Discord to comfort him…”
Tantabus’ voice was still quite faint to Alex, but Luna seemed to be able to hear her clearly enough as she quickly lifted Alex off the floor. “Alex...what hurts the most right now?”
“Her last shard slipped in through his ear, the rest dug into his mane. I can smell her all over him, momma.”
“Who... did what?” Alex questioned, barely having the energy to look up at them.
“Nightmare Moon.” The two answered in unison, and Luna sighed softly as the magic field holding Alex up began to constrict and slide through his skin. The feeling was weird, like reaching through oil to get to water except the oil was moving through his body instead of coating his skin. “Just tell me if it starts to hurt. I’m going to try and remove her.”
He’s mine. We bargained. Mine! The voice echoed inside of Alex’s head, and his clothes altered themselves into some kind of frilly black nightgown with a crescent moon over his heart.
As Luna’s magic worked into his body, a horrendous tugging began to pull at his mind. “S-stop!!” he shouted, gripping his head tighter. As Luna tugged, the body of Alex’s mother began to flicker and distort, and the phantom woman began to utter the most pained shriek imaginable.
“Well fuck me like a two-bit brothel whore.” Luna released the tightening magic, but didn’t drop Alex. “Nightmare, that’s beneath even you… Let go of that memory and get out of the colt.”
Mine.
‘You’re lifeless shards of a memory, and you hold another memory hostage. All you’ll do is make this poor colt more vulnerable to dark dreams than he already was. What do you hope to get out of all this?”
Body. Little filly will want children eventually.
“I’m sorry momma...I gave her the idea. I was envious of the ponies we help being able to stop dreaming.”
“You’d prefer being stuck in a colt’s mind with the vague hope that he will eventually decide that he wants to bear a child? Get out of there, now, or I’ll find out how to dig you out of that memory and I’ll dissolve you utterly.”
‘Maybe I should make him forget her looking even this good? Leave him with her skin yellow and papery?’ Alex felt a sickening tug and the figure on the bed shifted, becoming jaundiced and seemingly aging decades in mere seconds. His mind felt stretched taut, like a rubber band, and mirrors appeared around him to reflect the distorted image of his mother for him to see.
“Stop!” Alex begged, covering his face. “Stop! Please!!” he begged, unable to hold back his sobs. “Please...” The image shifted back, as did the tension in his mind, and then shifted back a little further as old memories were dredged up, and she regained a little more vitality for a moment.
“Alex, wake up. She’ll have no power while you’re awake.” Luna’s horn glowed again, and a moment later there was a sensation like his entire body had been doused in cold water as the sleep-disruption spell hit him.
A shrill scream tore out of Alex’s throat as he bolted upright. His breath came in jagged gasps, hair plastered to his face. Once again, his bed had been soaked with sweat.
A soft pop heralded Discord appearing above Alex and drifting down slowly with his eyes closed. “Alright, alright, you’re awake now. Do you need a hug or would you prefer I get your mother this time? She had a late night with some fruit bats the Apples wanted to use, so…”
“Dream horse!” Grabbing Discord’s head, Alex pressed his face against Discord’s. “Dream horse in my head!”
Discord blinked slowly, his yellow and red eyes swirling for just a moment as he settled down next to Alex and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Well, yes, that’s Luna’s duty. She guards ponies and others from having dreams that are too bad and could potentially cause significant psychological injury.” His other hand came in and he gently booped Alex’s nose with his lion’s paw. “You’ve been keeping her busy lately.”
“No! In my head!” Alex insisted, shaking his head. “Nightmare. Tricked me...” he shook, finding his eyes wet again. “Thought she was you...”
“She used me to get to you? I didn’t know you trusted me that much yet, Alex.” Discord tightened his grip and shook his head slowly while bringing his lion paw up to the top of Alex’s head. “So, what did she try promising you using me?”
“Make a picture of my mom, when she wasn’t sick,” Alex spoke softly, leaning on Discord. “So I wouldn’t forget.”
“Well, I can’t see how hard that would be. May I try? It will at least help me see how badly your memory’s gone and gotten screwed up by her.”
It took a few moments before Alex spoke again. “O-okay...”
A strange sensation flooded Alex’s mind for a few seconds as the draconequus hummed in thought. A few flat images floated out into the room, memories of photographs he’d seen of his mother over the years. “Should be easy to cobble something together out of these, I think...ouch. No, nope. I’m not touching your actual memory. You don’t need to see that right now…” A cursor appeared and created a box around the photos seemingly floating in the room, and a second set appeared before the originals zoomed back into Alex’s head as Discord removed his hand.
“W-what did she do?” Alex asked, grabbing Discord’s goatee. “What did she do!?” he demanded, rage bubbling over all his other emotions. “You tell me right now!”
“Don’t think about your mother.” Discord hummed softly as he worked, collecting the images he’d copied together and seeming to be sorting through them for the best image of the woman’s face. “Just don’t think of her for a minute, then tell me what you saw. I know reverse psychology is a little underhanded, but so is everything that’s happening to you lately.”
Alex tried thinking of his mother, and for a moment he could recall her at her least-sick stage he could remember, but her hair was darker than it had ever appeared before, being outright black instead of the lighter brunette she’d always had, and her eyes appeared blue with catlike slits instead of hazel. A whimper escaped his lips. “S-she changed the memory...”
“And in a few days you won’t even remember that that looks wrong without a little of my help. It wouldn’t surprise me if she started doing more than that to get you under her power.” A few more photos appeared in front of Alex, and a wave of Discord’s hand wiped away a few wispy black smears. “There we go, a few pictures of her holding you as a baby. I think those will go together with the others I found just fine.”
“C-can you stop her?” Alex asked, his eyes locking on the photos. “Please, don’t let her poke around in my head.”
“There’s nothing I can do at the moment to contain her in your head, Alex. If I tried locking her away entirely you wouldn’t even be able to think of your human mother at all anymore. You’d only remember your father. Memories are tricky things when dealing with things you want to remember and taking out things you don’t without damaging them. If she were just trying to replace your mother that’d be simple.”
“S-so there's nothing you can do?” Fear gripped Alex, digging its nails into his spine. “She can just mess with my memories, make me forget or remember whatever she wants me to remember?”
“Not quite. I’ve managed to put in a couple safeguards to keep her from outright rewriting your mind. She won’t be able to make you forget you were born as a male, or grew up as a male on Earth, or that you’re human and not a misshapen pony. Try to remember that nothing in your dreams is real, because she’ll probably try to undermine you via persuasion. I’ll try to get together with Luna later so we can work on a more comprehensive set of mental safeguards for you.”
Alex nodded again, hugging onto Discord as tightly as his arms allowed. “You’re a good dad...” he muttered into Discord’s neck, taking comfort in the draconequus’ presence.
“Hey, none of that mushy stuff. I can practically feel ovaries forming from how much estrogen I’m surrounded by lately.” A glossy photo slipped between Alex’s head and Discord’s neck as the chaos entity joked around and fiddled with the other images. “I’m leaving that one out of the collected idea I had. It seems a little too personal to have it on display for anyone in the room to see, but it’s an important one.”
Pulling back from Discord, Alex gingerly lifted up the photo and took in the image. The picture showed his mother in an open hospital gown, smiling down at the baby she was breastfeeding for the first time. She looked slightly worn out, but was easily more healthy than he could currently recall ever seeing her.
“I made them indestructible,” Discord explained, dabbing at Alex’s eyes with a tissue. “Nothing anyone does will ever take your memories of these away from you.” Leaning down, he nuzzled the top of Alex’s head. “Now dry those tears, alright? I was able to get to these before she did.”
Clutching the photo close to his chest, Alex sniffled quietly. He spoke softly, almost as if he wasn’t talking at all. “Why couldn’t it have been you, instead? Why’d it have to be him?”
“Because then you’d be as crazy as Screwball. I do almost wish she’d had a normal pony for a mother, and I’m looking for a way to prevent that kind of insanity with Fluttershy.” Discord was quite frank in his response even as the other copied photographs were collected into a small book with a crystal on the front. “One photo album with life-size illusion display crystal sound good?”
“Okay.” Alex nodded, wiping at his face. “That sounds great.”
“Good, good, now let’s get you all dried off and everything cleaned, and you can see about getting another hour of sleep or so.” Discord didn’t wait, and snapped his fingers to get rid of the excess moisture in Alex’s clothes, pillow, and sheets in an instant. “If you want, I can make a few edits to the album later to include some memories you want to preserve from your new family, alright?”
“Okay.” Getting back into a comfortable position, Alex took a deep calming breath. “Thanks, Discord. I mean that.”
Hovering over Alex’s bed, Discord tucked the young man in; purposefully doing it physically. “There’s nothing to thank me for, Alex. It’s what family does.” Leaning down, he planted a kiss on Alex’s forehead. “It’s hard I know. It’s hard to talk about these things with ponies. I’m here to listen, if you decide to confide in me. I won’t judge you, Pinkie Promise. Now get some restful sleep.”
Floating over to Alex’s door, Discord paused for a moment and spoke again. “I wish I could have been there for you, Alex. But we’re a family now, and we’ll always be family.”
Alex felt himself drifting back to sleep quite quickly, and he clutched that one special photo of his mother close to his chest as if trying to embed it into his heart.
“Dress up as each other? It’d be a family costume, not scary at all, but family.” Screwball suggested while sketching a picture of Discord with her colors, Alex wearing a Discord costume, and her wearing a coat like Alex has.
“I think we can do something that’s scary and family,” Alex insisted, watching her draw. “I know a few things we could try.”
“I know I have the figure for it, Alex, but I am not dressing up as Morticia Addams.” Discord insisted quickly, and smiled as an expensive smoking jacket and a moustache appeared on him. “I could try Gomez, though.”
“We don’t have enough people for that,” Alex dismissed, waving him off. “No, it’s gotta be something we can do with just three people.”
“Oh, oh, we could go as the three evil fish sisters Starswirl banished long ago. Family and scary.”
“Hey, one of those ‘evil fish’ is a friend of mine.”
“Wait, they came back?”
“Screwball, you’ve met Sonata, remember? She came in to get a drink and talk to Fluttershy after teaching Alex how to fully control the water magic she gave him last week.” Discord reminded her, and she looked confused for a few seconds.
“Oh, so that’s why she smelled fishy. I thought she was just a beach pony.”
“That’s it!” Alex snapped his fingers, grinning like a shark. “Bioshock! It’s perfect! Discord can be Subject Delta, Screwball can be a Big Sister and I can be... Eleanor, I guess.”
“We could make you Andrew Ryan if you wanted to have a male costume, Alex. Maybe post-clubbing to retain the scariness?” Discord chimed in quickly.
Screwball stared at Alex for a minute, almost appearing to be looking into his mind as her sketching pencil moved quickly. “Big daddy...big sister...little sister...mother is missing a costume, and daddy won’t like changing shape….wait, no, mother is the big daddy...bulky. Big sister is lanky, hard to walk with big needle weapon.”
“I mean, it’s only a few hours, right? I can do a dress for that long,” Alex dismissed. “Plus, I think that’s creepier than a dude with a golf club sticking out of his head.” Sipping at his drink, Alex found himself trying to decide what dress to wear. “Yeesh, dive headfirst into the estrogen river indeed.”
“We’re going to need a little extra chaos magic to get things looking just right, like glowing eyes and the creepy reverb voice. I think we can even get some strawberry jam into one of those weird syringe bottle things for you, Alex.”
“Old metal helmets easy to find. Can send sketch to Rarity with measurements based on Alex? Make perfect dress costume.”
“That’s most likely for the best,” Discord agreed. “I can work some glamour spells into the fabric. That poor mare would lose her mind if we made her intentionally ruin a dress.”
“The. Worst. Possible. Thing,” Fluttershy stated dramatically as she brought over a plate of oatmeal cookies. She giggled softly. “It’s nice to see you three working together on something you all want to enjoy... oh my, Screwball, you’re good at that. Where’d you get the idea for how those things should look?” She’d stopped on her way back to the kitchen to look at the sketch Screwball was making, and the other mare simply shrugged in response.
“Why wouldn’t I enjoy a night out with my girls?” Discord questioned, putting his arms around Alex and Screwball. “Always room for one more, Fluttershy. You can make me carry all the candy while you three giggle about who has the best costume.”
“Oh, oh no I’m not...I don’t go out on Nightmare Night.” Fluttershy quickly stepped back and fluffed her wings a bit before turning to head back to the kitchen. “I-I don’t like being scared.”
“It’s okay daddy, no spooky for you!” Screwball assures, putting a ‘no spookies, no candy’ sign up on above the front door. “There! No spoops now!”
Discord snickered and slowly tugged the sketches away from Screwball after she’d stopped drawing for a full minute, then handed them over to Alex. It was as if she’d pulled the concept art for the characters directly out of Alex’s mind and flawlessly put them down on paper. “I think I could manage to get this done with just the right ideas behind them. Illusions only so there’s no risk of changing your body by accident, Alex. Leave the shapeshifting to the entities without a truly constant shape to begin with.”
Alex gave a thumbs up, helping himself to some cookies. “I’ve had enough shapeshifting in my life, thank you very much.”
Screwball lifted a hoof and pushed forward, causing Alex to feel the gentlest of pressure in a few spots. “Shape’s not done shifting yet. Little brother’s still growing.”
Discord pushed Screwball’s hoof down, then poked her between the eyes. “Screwy, no touching without permission includes phantom touching. If Alex can feel it and didn’t say it was okay, you don’t do it unless it’s a hug because he needs one.” Discord took a moment to scribble names over the costume designs, followed by a list of extremely detailed measurements for how big each of them should be made based on how tall Alex was right now. The paper was then folded up and tucked into an envelope with Rarity’s name on it and sent away with a snap. “That should reach her just in time for her to flip out about how we gave her no time to get them perfect.”
“You know, that was only really for when I was still freaking out,” Alex said, giggling a little at the thought of a panicking Rarity. “I don’t mind it so much now.”
“I daresay my boy, there are a few places she might forget aren’t good to touch in general.”
“I know not to touch family sex-stuff, mom.” Screwball stuck her tongue out defiantly before giggling. “But, yeah, sorry for unneeded touching. I forget you’re not quite as cuddly sometimes.”
“Don’t worry so much,” Alex commented before pouncing on her. Getting a nice grip on Screwball, he used a hand to tickle her belly. “Just means I can get payback!”
She unleashed a shrieking giggle as the tickling began, and she was careful not to flail her hooves too much as she started twisting and trying to move away. “Ack. Alex, that’s daddy’s ticklespot.”
Discord chuckled and sat down on Fluttershy’s couch with a bucket of popcorn, watching the two have a bit of immature fun.
Standing in just his underwear, Alex gazed at his reflection in his mirror. In his hands he held up the costume Rarity had prepared for him. It wasn’t anything to look at, just a plain white gown with Rarity’s cutie mark sewn into the breast. A pair of shoes that looked more like thin slippers had come along with it.
“Alright, you’ve already worn a dress for a day. This is just a few hours, you can do this.” Taking a bracing breath, he began to worm his way into the dress. It slid on easily, and Alex couldn’t help but marvel at how nice the material felt against his skin. He took a few more minutes to make sure everything felt like it was straight and fit properly before pausing as he slipped on the shoes. A sensation of warmth had surrounded him and startled him. “Huh, she even thought about the weather and that it’d be colder for me. I’ll have to thank her for that little spell.”
A soft knock came from his bedroom door, sounding like wood on wood before Screwball’s muffled voice came through the door. “Aaaaalex, it’s night time. Time for CAAAANDY!”
“I’m coming, hold on.” Pulling his socks on, he stepped into the slippers and opened the door. “Alright, how do I look?” he asked, smiling down at her only to take a few steps back and look up at the helmet being worn by some gangly, not-quite human figure. “Okay, that’s creepy.”
Screwball reached up and lifted the helmet off of the neck of the costume. She smiled down at him for a moment before replacing the helmet. “Need to keep it on, mostly, or mom has to cast the spells again. Wanted to make sure things would be temporary. Daddy had to run out and grab something for funny-bunny, and mom wants us out before daddy gets home so we don’t scare her.”
“Right.” Alex nodded, moving out of the room and pulling the door shut. “Let’s go see how much candy we can grab, huh?” Walking downstairs, Alex called out. “Hey! We’re heading out now, if that’s okay with you, Shy.”
“Hold on just a minute there.” Discord’s voice was slightly distorted by the helmet, and came with a growl in the background as he stepped out from a far-too-small door under the stairs. “You still need your illusionary enhancements. We had to make sure the dress fit well before we could be sure the enchantments would fit over you without something going wrong.”
“Already told you daddy stepped out. Funny-bunny got mean with her about carrots.”
“Let’s see. Pale skin illusion, yellow eyes illusion, slight red tint to hair.” Discord pulled a small hand mirror out and held it in front of Alex’s face. “This should show you how you’ll look once I place those on you, any quick corrections you want?”
Alex shook his head, watching as it took effect. “I think that’s fine,” he said, his voice distorting. “Oooh~ Now that sounds right.” Reaching out, Alex grabbed Discord’s paw. “Come on, Mr.Bubbles let’s go see the angels~”
Discord chuckled as he allowed Alex to pull him along, and quickly brought his gloved talon over to hand him what looked like a perfect metal recreation of the odd syringe device used by little sisters, but was as light and warm as cardboard. Discord then pulled out a ridiculously large, and obviously fake, drill. “Come along, Screwball, we mustn’t leave our charge unattended.”
And so the trio left the cottage and began prowling the streets of Ponyville for candy opportunities. Screwball seemed to prefer moving around in a half-crouch and using the spike weapon on her arm as a crutch, which only aided in their disconcerting group appearance.
Discord let out a growl of displeasure as they came upon a group of colts and fillies tossing rolls of toilet paper into a tree next to Rarity’s home. He seemed a bit committed to the role, as he lowered his ‘drill’ down to point at a couple colts that bolted in their direction at the noise, and pulled Alex slightly behind him at the same time.
“Whoooa. Cool!” Snips stared in awe and playfully drew a rather tiny toy sword.
“Look, Mr. Bubbles, angels!” Alex played up his role, putting on his best awestruck face.
“Wow, that’s a really nice costume, Alex,” Snails said, looking between Alex and Discord. “I really like it.” The colt himself wore a greenish-yellow skull mask and a purple hood.
Screwball stepped forward and stood up slightly unsteadily to point her ‘skewer’ at the two colts. “You’re not looking to hurt my little sister, are you?”
Snips lowered his sword and backed away. “Uh, Snails, that doesn’t sound like Fluttershy...and she doesn’t normally come out.”
“D’aw, relax, Snips. Whoever it is must be okay if they’re with Alex.” Snails stood his ground and looked up at Screwball’s helmet before shaking his head. “I think Alex is awesome. Him and Snails are the only two ponies at school that have never said anything mean to me and meant it.”
“He’s a nice one.” Alex stepped closer and put a hand on Snails’s head. “Do you wanna go with Mr. Bubbles and I? We’re looking to get all the candy.”
“Sounds fun to me. Come on, Snips, let’s go with them and get a bunch!”
“Er-uh, fine, but no stabbing. Or drilling.”
“An easy promise to keep.” Alex pat the smaller colt’s head and pointed further into town. “Onwards, to Candy Island!”
All-in-all, they were out for a couple hours before a lack of space in bags forced a quick retreat to various homes for a resupply, but Discord, Alex, and Screwball ended up sending Snips and Snails on their way as they saw Fluttershy in a black dress and strange ears talking with the animals. “Something wrong, dear? You’re in costume...as a vampire bat-pony…”
Fluttershy jumped and spun around with a blush on her face. “O-oh, Discord. I didn’t expect you to be back anytime soon. I was just, um, uh…”
“You alright, Shy?” Alex asked, setting down his prop. “I thought you didn’t do Nightmare Night?” he questioned, putting his hands on his hips. “Are you holding out on us? Cause, we’re trying to do a family night here.”
“I never have before. I always thought it was just for scares, and I didn’t like being scared. Pinkie finally ended up explaining to me that some ponies like being scared, and that it was fun to scare other ponies. I wanted to give it a try, but my first idea wasn’t very scary for anyone but me I guess.”
Alex grinned, pulling Fluttershy into a hug. “I know how to be scary, Fluttershy. You came to the right human! How about some dancing skeletons? Masked killer with a chainsaw? Killer rabbit’s always a good one.”
Angel punched Alex’s ankle before hopping up on top of Fluttershy’s head and flaring out his cape. In addition to his normal buck teeth he had a pair of bunny-sized vampire fangs.
“Hmmm, I can think of a few things we can do, Alex, if you wouldn’t mind acting as a patsy. Where were the others going, Fluttershy?”
“T-the Apple family corn maze. What are you thinking, Discord?”
“Well, my dear. You wanted animals involved, and I happen to be practiced at changing animal bodies and making things a little freakish. Alex, how would you feel about dragging out the others’ trip through the maze, only to get kidnapped by one of us to help shake them up? We’d be doing it by surprise.”
Alex grinned, giving a thumbs up. “Groovy.”
“Great. Hurry along on your way while Screwy, your mother, and I talk things out.” Discord winked and turned to huddle up with Fluttershy and a Screwball who had half-crawled out of her costume by this point, and the sight of her returning to normal pony proportions was disturbing in itself. “So I’m thinking giant spiders-”
“Hey, you girls got room for one more?” Alex called, jogging over to Twilight and her friends. “Screwball and Discord called it quits for the night; but I’m burning the midnight oil!” he beamed, enjoying the odd looks he got from his voice and appearance.
Twilight actually stepped a little further away than the others for a moment; their combat training had recently taken the next step with illusions of the various pureblood heartless, and their yellow eyes were fresh in her mind. “A-are you okay, Alex? I don’t think, I... oh, okay, chaos energy. Discord enhanced your costume, didn’t he?”
“I certainly hope so. All that grime shouldn’t have even stuck to the dress I made.”
“I’m fine, just a little winded from running, and yeah, he layered a bunch of illusions on me. Look, you got room for one more or what? I haven’t had time to go through a corn maze in years and I want to see how this one stacks up to what I’ve seen back home.”
“We got the best corn maze in the whole country!” Applejack beamed, looking rather adorable in her lion costume. “Course we got room fer one more, little filly.”
“Yeah, and we’ll make sure nothing gets too scary,” Dash added, the helmet of her space suit costume adding a distortion to her voice. “Just stay close, kid.”
Alex rolled his eyes at the assertion that any of this might be ‘too scary’ for him considering the crazy shit he’s woken up from, but smiled and walked forward quickly. “Well come on then, let’s go see what’s in store for us in there. You’ll be able to show us all the scares, right Applejack?”
“Oh, uh, sure. Ah just hope ya ain’t the kind of filly that faints when ya get scared enough.”
Dash elbowed AJ with a laugh. “Well, she is Fluttershy’s kid. It wouldn’t surprise me if that rubbed off on her.”
“‘He’, girls,” Twilight reminded, her voice insistent. “Alex is a he.”
“In a dress like that? I’d say he’s flying the fem flag tonight, Twilight.” Pinkie giggled as she rolled around the group in a slow backwards circle on her skates. “Nothing wrong with that, though I’d say white’s a bit plain.”
“Excuse me, Pinkie Pie?”
“No offense, Rarity.”
“Ugh, can we just get going already? I wanna see if your family can scare me this year, AJ!”
The corn maze was, all things considered, relatively tame by hardened human standards. Alex actually found it difficult to act scared other than the few times a prop ended up right in his face after he turned a corner, or when something fell down out of the sky on an invisible line. The mares around him, and Spike, were giving a few shouts of fear followed quickly by laughter quite a bit more often than he was.
“Geez, I didn’t think it’d be this scary,” Alex commented, shifting his gaze from left to right. “Are we almost at the end? I dunno how much more I can take.” He paused and scratched the back of his head while also taking a look up. ‘Come on guys, they’re almost done with the m-SHIT!’ Alex’s train of thought derailed quickly, and his heart leapt up into his throat as the ground slipped out from under his feet and something grabbed at his legs from underneath him with a loud hiss. “Ahhhhh! Getitoff! Getitoff!” He couldn’t stop himself from trying to grab at the edge of the hole he’d fallen into.
“Play it up brother-sister.” Screwball whispered up to him while pulling down hard at his legs with something that felt hard and alien. “Lotsa surprises for them below. Get them to grab on.”
“H-help! It’s got me!!” Alex shrieked, his voice causing his entourage to cringe from the volume. “Don’t let it get me!”
Rainbow Dash was the first one to move and clamp her hooves around one of Alex’s wrists, which felt a little odd to Alex as they slipped a little before feeling like they actually stuck to his skin. “Come on, we gotta get him out of the hole!”
Pinkie and Applejack moved in quickly to grab at Alex’s other hand while Twilight rolled her eyes and started to pull on Alex by his waist with a bit of her magic. “Girls, stop panicking. We can get him out easily if we just calm dow-ow!” Her horn burned briefly as Screwball pulled Alex again, and shifted her grip up to cut through the aura around his waist. Rainbow Dash was pulled halfway into the hole, and Pinkie and AJ let go to avoid having all three of their heads knock together or get completely stuck in the ground. Instead they grabbed at Rainbow’s rear legs.
“Whoa nelly, this ain’t mah family’s doin’, Twi!” Applejack actually started to feel slightly scared as she pulled on Rainbow’s leg to no effect. “Don’t worry, sugarcube! We’ll get ya out of there!”
“I got Dashie’s booties!” Pinkie declared, her hooves grabbing onto one of Dash’s legs. “I’ll never let go!” She dug her back legs into the dirt, doing her best to pull her friend back out of the hole.
“Whatever’s down in there, it can disrupt my magic.” Twilight moved in and did her best to brace AJ and Pinkie as well, only to have all of them immediately get dragged a little closer to the edge of the hole as Alex and Rainbow were dragged further in. Another shriek came from below, followed by an alarmed shout from Rainbow.
“Buck, no! You give her back you monster! Him, him, give him back, Augh!” Rainbow Dash began wriggling and kicking. “Lemme go! I gotta fly down and rescue Alex!”
“Consarnit, Dash! Why’d ya let Alex go?!” Applejack huffed, keeping her grip on Dash’s other leg. “Ya had one job!”
“Yeah, well whatever it is that has her was able to pull on her stronger than my hooves could keep a grip. Come on, let me go so we can go after it...or do you want to be the one to tell Fluttershy we lost her colt to a monster?!”
“We have to rescue the poor dear!” Rarity agreed, bringing a foreleg to her head and swaying on her hooves. “Who knows what that foul beast has in store for Alex!”
“Rarity’s right, and when Rarity wants to jump into a filthy hole in the ground it must be serious!” Pinkie gasped and released Rainbow’s leg. “Maybe it’s another Diamond Dog attack and this time Rarity gets to be the one to do the rescuing!”
With only one rear leg being held onto and braced against moving, Rainbow Dash struggled and tried to pull herself deeper immediately. “Come on, we don’t have any time! That thing could already be eating him!”
“Ain’t no monster eatin’ a foal on my farm!” Adjusting her costume, Applejack pushed Dash into the hole and followed her down into the dark depths. Pinkie jumped in immediately behind Applejack, and Twilight and Rarity both jumped in soon after.
Spike stammered for another few seconds, then sighed and dove into the hole as well. “The one night I leave the scroll and ink behind; we need to send an alert to the princesses…”
The group landed in a heap together at the bottom, with Spike bouncing down and landing right on top of Rainbow’s head. He quickly gave his own a shake to clear the bright spots in his vision while the five mares managed to untangle themselves from each other and look around. A shifting of rocks and a loud hiss came from the tunnel in front of them, followed by a deep roar, and a high-pitched scream of fright.
“Come on!” Dash charged down the tunnel. “They should still be close!” Moving her head back, Spike slid off her helmet and onto her back. The tunnel took them past what appeared to be a number of pony and other animal skeletons, some hanging from huge webs while others were scattered on the cave floor. Rainbow Dash quickly skidded to a stop as they turned a corner and she came face-to-helmet with a pony-sized bundle of spider webbing dangling from a stalactite.
“Applejack, how...how long has it been since your family checked under the orchard?” Pinkie sounded unsettled as she looked around, her ears twitching left and right for any hint of sound other than the group.
“Ain’t no spiders in the orchard,” Applejack responded in a harsh whisper. “Especially not ones that eat ponies. And iffin’ some did move in, they’ll get mah horseshoe to the flank. Twi, get yer fancy spells ready.”
Stones clattered to the floor from above, a number of them barely missing Applejack’s head as they fell. Moments later another web-encrusted body dropped down and began swinging only a few feet above the ground. Black hair hanging down from a pale-skinned face, and the blank, staring yellow eyes alone would have confirmed that this was Alex to the mares. His expression was frozen in horror, and a small trail of blood was leaking from a deep cut along his nose.
More rocks fell from above, and a strange, four-legged, grey and purple insect-like monstrosity dropped to the ground with a sickening crunch. It appeared to be dead for a few seconds before its head snapped up and a mouth full of jagged fangs opened up to release a threatening hiss.
The group let out a collective shriek, both at Alex’s terrible fate and the monster in front of them. Spike himself pushed his way to the front, attempting and failing to breathe a gout of fire at the beast. A wheeze huffed from his lungs, a puff of black smoke wafting past his lips. “Come on, Spike, be brave and glorious!”
“Glory later, live now!” Twilight screamed at Spike while her magic quickly cut Alex free and cradled his body. “Let’s get out of here!” She wasted no time in running away from the huge creature in front of them, leading the way back to where they’d arrived while securing Alex on her back.
Rarity shrieked as the monster swiped at her tail, having been the last to turn and run. “No! Stay away from my costume, you brute!”
The huge monster simply roared again in response, its teeth snapping shut barely an inch behind Rarity’s fish fin as it hit a spot in the tunnel that was just barely too small for it to fit through. It began to smash and scrape at the tunnel with its clawed forelegs to try and widen it.
“Keep going!” Twilight shouted, using her horn to light the way. “Applejack! Can you tell where we are under the farm?!”
“Ah don’t know! What, ya think Ah got farm sense er somethin’?!”
Before anypony could respond to Applejack or Twilight the group came to a fork in the caves, with one tunnel being smaller than the other. For a few seconds there was no way to know which path was better to take until heavy, wet steps began to come from the larger tunnel on the right. These were followed by the sounds of labored breathing and low growls.
“More monsters? Twilight, please tell me you know a way to get us to safety.” Spike wheezed as he stretched the neck of his costume out briefly, then climbed up on Twilight’s back to try pulling some of the webbing away from Alex. “H-hey, he’s breathing. He’s still alive at least.”
“Naia...” Alex groaned, shifting ever so slightly.
“Okay, we just have to stay calm.” Twilight turned to the left tunnel, ignoring the approaching sounds. “We’re going to have to go down the smaller tunnel. Pinkie, you go first.”
“P-pinkie sense...right, it’s going a l-little haywire at the moment, but I’ll try.” Pinkie started leading the way down the smaller path slowly and cautiously, but the entire group sped up quickly as the monster from the other tunnel emerged from the darkness. It also towered over the ponies, easily three or four times as large and covered in shimmering, wet scales and algae. It took a few swipes at Applejack and Rainbow Dash as they stayed slightly behind the group to guard the rear, since they were also the fastest and most likely to get away from the claws or any other attacks in time.
“You have fish-monsters!?” Dash asked, giving Applejack a glare. “What, are you guys like, secretly monster ranchers!?”
“These must be varmints from th’ Everfree. Ah ain’t never seen the like before in my life.” Applejack bucked back hard, her hooves connecting solidly with one of the creature’s arms as it swiped again and causing it to unleash a truly terrifying roar of pain. It quickly stopped and clutched at the bucked arm before turning around and skulking back down the tunnel. “That’ll teach ya!”
The two of them hurried up and finally caught up with the group right before they burst out from underground, only to find themselves on top of a small cliff just inside the edge of the Everfree Forest. Rainbow moved over to Twilight’s side and started trying to take Alex off her back. “Come on, I’ll take him from here and get him to the hospital. I can fly faster tha-” Rainbow ducked suddenly as a set of four dark-yellow hooves clattered off of her helmet.
The other mares all gasped and shrank back as the swooping figure flew away just as quickly as it had swooped in at them, with the five of them circling up around Twilight, Spike, and Alex. “Thisisbad. Thisisbadthisisbadthisisbad.” Pinkie whimpered.
Diving again, the figure snatched Alex off Twilight’s back. Floating up into the moonlight, she laughed maniacally. “Oooh, I see you brought me a snack. How thoughtful. Maybe I won’t feast on all of you.” Opening her mouth wide to expose a sharp pair of fangs, she bit down on Alex’s neck.
“NO!” The five mares screamed in chorus, with Rainbow Dash even falling off her hooves in shock as they lost Alex once again.
“Alex?” Spike was shocked as well, and he stood up on Twilight’s back to shake a fist up at the hovering creature. “You give him back or else!”
The mare ignored them, red liquid staining the webbing around Alex’s neck. It didn’t take long for it to start to drip down on the group. Rarity fainted almost immediately as the first few warm drops landed on her muzzle, and she was quickly picked up by Twilight as the rest of them backed away from the mouth of the cave and ended up moving towards the edge of the cliff.
“Mmm~ Young blood, my favorite~” Pulling a red-splattered muzzle back, the mare licked her lips. She hovered for a moment, looking down at the gathered ponies. Her hover faltered for just a moment as she took in the trembling forms and terrified faces. A beat passed before she flew back down at a slower pace and winked. “Gotcha.”
“Wait a… FLUTTERSHY?!” Spike gasped as the change in voice registered quickly for the young drake.
“Yer kiddin’.” Applejack stared at Fluttershy as the altered pegasus stepped into the clear moonlight and carefully placed Alex on the ground. “How did you…”
“My dear Applejack, it’s quite simple. She’s got friends on the other side.” Discord stepped out of the mouth of the cave wearing an outfit that resembled a black tuxedo with a thin top hat, and a much smaller version of the spider-like monster from earlier walked beside him as it slowly reverted in form to a purple mare. “And the family that scares together….hmm, well I can’t think of a rhyme for that but you get my point.”
“We got you so good!” Screwball giggled, sticking her tongue out at the group. Walking up into the sky next to Fluttershy, she poked at Alex’s belly. “Mister Sister, the scaring is over.”
Alex groaned softly as he easily broke free of the webbing when it shifted back into so much toilet paper. He was able to easily catch himself as the drop was only a couple feet at that point. “Whew. Do you girls have any idea how hard it was not to laugh?” He wiped away the fake blood at his neck that had leaked through the wrappings.
Fluttershy giggled as she landed next to Alex and gave him a quick hug with one batlike wing. “Thank you for agreeing to help, Alex. I think maybe next year we can go out as a whole family. Together, like we should be.”
Kneeling down, Alex wrapped his arms around her neck. “I would love to do that.” He rested his head on top of hers. “I really would...huh. You must have pinched harder than I thought. My neck still hurts.”
Discord frowned and quickly snapped his fingers, only for nothing to happen. “Oh dear. Fluttershy, you didn’t actually bite him by accident, did you?”
Screwball popped up between Alex and Fluttershy, squeezing through the tight space like she was a balloon full of air before lifting Alex’s chin and looking close at his throat. “Oh, mommy, dad was bad.”
Fluttershy stepped back, her eyes wide. “O-oh my! I-I didn’t hurt Alex, did I?”
Discord slipped over quickly with a small jar in one hand, the contents of which were quickly applied to Alex’s neck to cleanse and seal the small punctures. “I’m less concerned about Alex than I am about you at the moment. It’s not like I made you a full infectious undead after all, but if you didn’t change back you must have actually drank some of his blood. I’m going to have to work on that, but I may not be able to reverse this now without help from someone I don’t want to know about my new family.”
“Auntie would just laugh…”
“Yes, that too.”
Any further discussion was brought to a halt as a chorus of screams sounded from somewhat deeper into the Everfree Forest, followed by the sound of multiple small bodies crashing through the underbrush.
“That sounded like it came from the statue meadow!” Twilight gasped.
Summoning Aubade into his hand, Alex rushed over to the cliff. “Get me down there, Twilight,” he all but ordered, not bothering to look back at her.
Twilight didn’t wait for anyone to object before she pulled Alex up just slightly off the ground with her magic. She flew off the cliff while holding him aloft alongside her, and Sign of Innocence appeared on her other side in another magical grip. “Sounded like some of the fillies and colts from town to me.”
“Why would they be in the forest Shy has repeatedly told me not to go into?” Alex questioned, feeling his anxiety grow. “Thrill seeking?”
“Nightmare Night tradition. Fillies and colts from town are escorted into the forest by an adult to leave a small portion of their candy at a statue of Nightmare Moon as an ‘offering’ that gets collected by one of the adults at the end of the night to take to any foals in the hospital who were too sick to go out.” Twilight landed quickly, but safely, in the forest, and brought Alex down to the ground at her side before heading further in with a bit of caution. “I don’t know what happened that would have the children panicking without us hearing anything from the adults, though.”
A shape flitted between the trees before bursting out and swiping at Twilight’s side. Falling back on what training he had picked up from Luna, Alex thrust Aubade forward, dispelling the Neo-Shadow in a burst of dark particles.
“That’s probably why,” Alex concluded, Aubade suddenly feeling heavy in his hands. “Come on!” Running past Twilight, he headed deeper into the forest.
Twilight quickly overtook him and led the charge deeper in, curving a little further to the left than Alex’s initial route would have taken him. “This way. You were going to run right past the meadow.”
Alex altered his path, keeping his eyes locked onto her keyblade. “Just get us there!”
With Twilight’s guidance, the two of them arrived at the meadow in less than a minute. With two keyblades held at the ready, the two of them burst through the underbrush and began cutting into a small swarm of shadows and neoshadows. “Ugh! Where could all of these have come from?”
“Doesn’t matter, just hit them!” Alex commanded, stabbing through a shadow. Taking a breath, he went through the quick steps of magic calling Sonata had taught him. Streams of water coiled around him before shooting forward as a glob and splashing into a Neo-Shadow.
“I fear that I am in a pickle. The bites of these beasts do not tickle!” A mare’s voice came from the other side of the statue of Nightmare moon, and a few brief flashes of light illuminated the writhing mass of blackness the meadow had become, as well as a larger dark mound at the base of the statue. “Have the young ones gone away? Twilight Sparkle, help, I pray.”
“Zecora, we’re here!” Twilight slashed with renewed vigor upon learning that there was a friend in need of saving in the immediate area, and Sign glowed softly as some of her magic began to strengthen the keyblade. “Focus, create a flat plane, a part of a shield, sharp…”
Switching Aubade to the Sarah-themed keyblade, which had dubbed itself Evolution’s Edge, Alex began cutting a swath towards Zecora. This keyblade was almost grotesquely organic-looking, and glowed with purple highlights in many places. The guard was made of malformed, draconic wings and the shaft looked like it was made of multiple bones folded together, with the teeth of the key looking like a motley assortment of alien talons and fangs.
“Well isn’t this a surprise,” a new voice spoke, nearly freezing Alex in place. “The little puppet and the littlest princess trying to be heroes. I wasn’t planning on bothering with you yet but, these things are out of my hands.”
A dark figure took shape on top of the statue, arms crossed casually. A familiar suit of black with red highlights formed, the chest and hands covered in red. Tattered cloth hung from the waist and a black-glassed helmet stared down at them.
“I don’t know who you are, but that’s my friend over there. Don’t get in my way.” Twilight nearly growled as her keyblade began to glow brighter, then a small plane extended from it as her augmentation spell completed and a blade made of her magic allowed her to hit slightly further than she could reach normally. This was a basic combat spell Shining Armor had taught her in their training, and it seemed quite effective against the shadow fodder.
“Now see, I wish I could but, I have a deadline and the boss gets really pissy when I don’t deliver my quota.” Extending his arm, a keyblade formed. Leaping off the statue, he landed behind Zecora and pierced her back with the tip of his blade.
Zecora froze mid-swing as her entire body turned numb. Her mouth moved silently as if trying to vocalize one last thing. At the same time, the pile of darkness at the base of the statue collapsed and seemed to dissolve while more shadows rushed Twilight to keep her away from this new evil entity. All that remained on the ground by the statue were a bunch of mummy wrappings.
“You asshole!” Alex seethed, batting away a trio of Shadows. His grip on Evolution’s Edge tightened and his legs moved him forward of their own accord. The keyblade shifted in his hands, mass altered and expanded, twisting and turning until it had become something else. Gripping the new weapon in both hands, Alex brandished a fiendish-looking scythe. The shaft appeared to be a bunch of bones stuck together end-to-end, topped with an open-mouthed skull. The blade was formed by a skeletal batlike ‘wing’ that extended from the back of the skull, and the blade itself was made of some kind of purple energy.
“That’s new.” Pulling his keyblade out of Zecora’s fading body, the figure easily knocked Alex’s scythe to the side. “Neat trick, little girl.” Thrusting a hand out, he blasted an orb of purple fire into Alex’s chest. The force of the spell sent Alex tumbling into the dark swarm, dark flames licking at his dress.
“You monster!” Twilight shouted in anger as she continued to hack through the swarm of shadows and neoshadows that continued to attack her. She spared a moment to lift Sign skyward and call down a bolt of lightning next to her, scattering more than a few of them. “How dare you do this to innocents?”
Regarding her for a moment, the figure dismissed his keyblade. “We all do what we have to, Twilight.” Turning away from her, he conjured a portal not unlike the ones Xemnas used. “You two place nice with the shadows, alright?” With another step, he was gone.
Alex pushed himself to his knees, wincing as a few shadows slashed at his back. “This... did not go well at all...” Calling upon his magic again, he used another cast of water to clear the Shadows around him.
Twilight quickly resumed fighting as well, calling down more lightning wordlessly as she moved to close the distance between herself and Alex. The two of them fought back to back, each one guarding the other’s blind spot and bringing their magic to bear for maximum effect. Each time Alex shot out water; lightning came down in the same area moments later to shock either the same heartless or those around it that had been caught in the spray.
What felt like hours later to everyone involved, Alex and Twilight staggered out of the forest and into the waiting hooves of the townsponies who had set up a perimeter around the Everfree to pick up any foals that might still be trying to find their way out. Canteens filled with warm cider were given to the two of them as they finally felt able to relax for the most part.
“We... know Zecora... didn’t make it.” Twilight panted, her barrel heaving as she struggled to recover. “Are any foals... still missing?”
“The only fillies we aren’t sure about are Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, but it’s likely they were already home for the night. Nopony’s answered the door at either house so far.” Spike responded while scribbling on a scroll. “That leaves...Big Mac as the only other missing pony.”
Applejack pushed her way to the front of the group, her face contorted in horror. “What happened to mah brother?” Reaching out, she grabbed Alex by the collar and pulled them both into a halfway point. “What the buck did you bring here!?”
“What was his costume? We only saw Zecora, but there was an empty costume left behind after a bunch of shadows finished off whoever was with her. Looked like mummy wrappings.” Alex struggled to remain calm, which wasn’t easy with a pony this strong right up in his face.
Heaving Alex to the ground, Applejack choked by a sob. “Ya brought all this nonsense to Ponyville! Y-y’all might as well have done it yerself!”
“Applejack, these monsters existed well before Alex got here. Celestia and Luna fought them around the time of Unificati-”
Applejack threw a hoof out, knocking Twilight onto her side. “None of this would have happened if she never came here!” Striding over to Apple Bloom, she hefted the confused filly onto her back. “Ya ain’t welcome around us, Alex. Iffin’ Ah see you round’ Bloom, Ah’ll buck your teeth out.”
Twilight sighed sadly, but only looked over at Spike. “I’m going to need you to get that package that arrived earlier for Alex, Spike. I have a bad feeling we’re all going to need to know what’s in it as soon as possible.”
Spike frowned up at her, his spines wilting. “Alright, Twilight.”
Alex remained on his back, staring up at the night sky. His first actual bout of combat and he failed to save anyone. Squeezing his eyes shut he tried and failed to shut out the hysterical laughter that echoed through the back of his mind. He barely even reacted as two strong hands lifted him off the ground, other than to curl up in them.
The book Alex had been given looked ancient and weathered, but every bit of it felt like it was brand new in his hands as he looked through the various pages to see what was towards the back of the book. This proved to be even worse than all of the plodding explanations of magical theory towards the beginning of the book as the later pages were devoted almost entirely to thick grids of rune diagrams with the handwritten annotations in the page margins mentioning notes made regarding spells earlier in the book without even listing a page number to go along with it.
Something about that handwriting nagged at the back of his mind as he flipped back to the first few pages of the book with a frustrated sigh. “Why does this have to be so boring to read through? It’s not even talking about casting spells or anything, just about breathing exercises.”
“It makes sense to me, Alex.” Snails was literally reading over his shoulder as the two of them sat at one of the lunch tables after school. The orange colt was snuggled up next to him so they could both look through the book at the same time. “A lot of magic is about being calm while you learn how to do it so that you can figure out your own personal shortcuts to get the effect you want. Rarity told me that when she saw I was struggling to pick up a quill and getting frustrated.”
“This is why I never got my driver's license,” Alex said, skimming through a few pages. He stopped when his eyes landed on a certain spell. “Snails, Christmas came early.” Unable to contain his smile, he shifted the book to give Snails a better view.
The current page displayed a diagram of what looked like a beach ball and had the words 'must teach efficiency refinements only to trusted students’ written in the margin, along with nearly half of the runes that formed the spell diagram being marked with tiny x’s in the upper right corner or their portion of the grid.
“Wow. You got a master’s cheat copy?!” Snails almost squeed, leaning over Alex's shoulder. “That's so cool! I remember reading about things like this being fiercely protected by spellcrafters so nopony else could duplicate their spells perfectly, or cast them as quickly.”
“Let's see what else is in here... Poison, Confuse, Zero Gravity, Sleep, Seeker Mine, Quake, Mini...” Alex whistled, skimming a few pages. “Aqua knew a lot of spells. Huh, she didn't know the Water line. That's surprising.”
“Maybe they’re in the back of the book where the writing’s all dense and crowded? I know I was having trouble reading even a few lines there. Maybe it’s some kind of safeguard so someone who doesn’t know many spells doesn’t cast something they can’t control?”
“Nah, I think it's set up to go easiest to hardest,” Alex explained, flipping to the front of the book again. “The front has all the base elemental spells and the lower level status effect ones and gets more advanced as it goes on.”
“Maybe it’s because I broke centuries of tradition by gifting a non-siren the ability to cast water magic?” Sonata’s voice came from above the pair suddenly, and without any warning whatsoever, causing Snails to yell and dive under the table.
“Sonata, why are you at the school?” Alex questioned, looking up at the siren in question. “Ya gave Snails a heart attack.”
Sonata floated down carefully, landing on the grass in front of Alex and crouching down to peek under the table at Snails. She looked a little different from her normal everyday appearance outside Twilight’s castle. Instead of a normal, earth pony tail she had a long, dolphin-like appendage with the flukes colored the same as her two-tone mane, and a frill that ran down the entire length of her spine from head to tail. Small fins decorated each leg and replaced her ears, while her mane hung from her head and neck like fresh seaweed, and dripped with water. Her lower legs, patches of her muzzle, and most of her tail were covered in fine blue scales that looked almost like sequins as they reflected the late-afternoon sunlight.
“Well, first I wanna say I’m sorry for scaring the little colt. You can come out little guy, I only bite adults.”
“Sonata, not appropriate, even if he wouldn’t get the implication.”
“Right, right, cut me a little slack, would ya? The other thing is I wanted to give you a hug after hearing about what happened the other night. You weren’t home yet, so I came looking for you. I know what it’s like to be blamed for things you have no control over, Alex, and I want to help you.”
“Wow... you’re pretty. I like your scales.” Snails seemed to catch himself, sneaking a glance at Alex. “Um, I'm Snails. It’s nice to meet you, Miss Sonata.”
“Oh, please just call me Sonata. I hate titles, they make me feel old.” She smiled sweetly at Snails and leaned in to plant a quick kiss at the base of his horn. “But thank you, and it’s nice to meet another friend of Alex’s.”
“Nice look, really digging the Vaporeon aesthetic,” Alex said, giving a thumbs up. “More pony friendly then the ‘big fish-horse’ look you got under all of that magic.”
She winced and shuddered while shaking her head. “Oh, ugh, ew. No way. This is what a healthy siren looks like. I still felt like I was nothing but skin and bones when my sisters and I were up on that stage in the other world.” She took a step forward, and her nostrils flared briefly. “Mmmmm, so you’ve been the source of that ambient self-loathing scent? That’s so bad for us, but so tasty.”
Alex frowned and closed the spell book. “Don't sniff me like a dog, Sonata. It’s strange.” He kept any further comments to himself; Snails was too good of a kid to get an earful of problems he wouldn't even tell Fluttershy.
“I wasn’t sniffing like a dog. I was... oh. Right. I suppose it would look a little like that if you can’t see or taste the same things I can.” She giggled and backed a few steps away before sitting down and curling her tail in around her legs. “Think of it more like someone taking a deep breath as they go past a Burger World?”
“Is that like a Hayburger?” Snails asked, looking from Alex to Sonata in confusion for a few seconds. “Wait... does that mean you want to eat Alex?”
“No, well... no. Maybe a nibble on his darker emotions every so often, but he’s still too young for anything other than that.”
“Huh?”
“Yes, please remind me of my regression to puberty. Because that's what I need to be thinking about,” Alex all but snapped, his voice taking a hard edge.
“Oh Alex, I’m sorry. I meant it more that other ponies would freak out about it.” Sonata walked closer and gave Alex an affectionate nuzzle to the side of his neck. “I owe you so much, I didn’t mean to make you angry at me.”
Taking a calming breath, Alex wrapped an arm around Sonata. “I'm sorry, I just... Have a lot on my mind. Past few days have been rough.”
“I understand, Alex. I’ve been busy too ever since the other day with your arms... oh, right. I’m supposed to apologise for that too.” She chuckled and took a deep breath before stepping back. “So, um, yeah. I’ve had to make a few tough decisions lately about things, and I decided I want to stay here in Ponyville, with you. Aria can pop back and forth whenever she needs to and Adagio can handle all the court stuff and visit a couple times a month. I want to be with the friends I’m making. I want to help, Alex, not just be a bystander.”
“Uhhhh, this is all getting kinda serious. I, uhh, I think I’m gonna head home for dinner. See you in class tomorrow, Alex.” Snails hesitated for a moment, his eyes stuck on Alex. Stepping over, he gathered his courage and gave him a quick one armed hug. “I hope you feel better.” Pulling away with a heated face, he quickly made his way out of sight with his tail hanging low.
Sonata blinked at this, and her head turned to watch Snails for a while as he walked away. “Huh. I wasn’t expecting to see that, even if you are cute, Alex.”
“What are you on about?” Alex asked, rising up and tucking the book under his arm. “He's just being Snails.”
“Oh, so you mean he’s always around you, and paying attention to what you say, and giving you hugs followed by a cute blush? Does he always have a slight waddle to his step when he walks away from you, or is that new?” Sonata curled up and rubbed herself against Alex’s hips as she walked around behind him from one side to the other. “Or is this all stuff you just haven’t been noticing?”
“Nope! I'm not thinking of a minor like that, nope!” Alex shook his head quickly, in the hopes of dispelling the notion. “Keep your thoughts to yourself, reprobate.”
“Alex, he’s your age. Maybe not mentally, but he sure is physically.” Sonata giggled and leaned against him. “I think maybe he was trying to get out of a situation with his crush and a pretty mare in the same area. Male teenagers do tend to have some...control issues if they feel interested.”
“That doesn't make it any better!” Alex snapped, feeling his face heat up. “I'm still older than him. There's a reason adults don't date teenagers, too easy to take advantage of the younger person.”
“I’m not saying you should make the first move, but don’t shoot him down and break his heart if he wants to spend time with you. I know I never made the first move in exile, but I also didn’t turn down anyone I was interested in.” Sonata blinked as a thought crossed her mind, and she quickly took a step away from Alex. “Oh... right. That has all sorts of gross implications when you’re over a millennium old with a teenage body.”
“Eeyup,” Alex agreed, beginning to walk home. “So... Staying in Ponyville, huh? You sure you want to? I have a pretty bad streak of luck going. I'd hate for you to lose your heart too.”
“I can be more help to the surface than I can underwater stuck in a gilded cage, Alex, and if something tries to take my heart they’re going to have to wear me down first and catch me unprepared.” She followed at his side, her voice quickly perking back up as she began to swim through the air. “Though, I’ll admit that I wouldn’t mind spending more time with you and Twilight. I’m trying to decide which of you I like more.”
“...Sonata, are you going to start hitting on me?” Alex questioned, giving her an odd look.
“I’ve got no problem waiting a few years if that would make you more comfortable with it?” She smiled up at him, then bumped her head against his hip. “In the meantime, I can help you practice swinging that keyblade around by giving you some targets to attack.”
“That actually sounds like a good idea to me. Both of you are going to need as much practice as you can get.” Lee stepped out of the shadows, Amber eyes glanced between them. “I've established a base in a clearing in the Everfree.” A portal opened behind him, drawing more than a few stares. “Shall we?”
“Uh, Everfree...I’m going to have to drop my stuff off at home, and tell Fluttershy where I’m going and who’ll be with me for that, otherwise I’m pretty sure she’ll panic.”
“Are you saying I don’t know how to use my magic effectively?”
Lee dismissed the portal in exchange for another. “It would be best if we didn't burn daylight. Do what you must.” He gestured to the portal, watching them impassively. “A direct line to Fluttershy's cottage.”
Eyeing the portal cautiously, Alex pulled his hood up. “Glad I brought the coat?” Taking a breath, he stepped into the black pillar. An otherworldly haze filled his vision; a black tunnel with a dot of light at the end. The walk was disquietingly silent, and Alex couldn't stop himself from sprinting the last few feet. Sunlight greeted him, as did the various animal sounds he had become accustomed to.
Discord stood close by the portal, holding a glob of it between two talons and stretching it like fresh gum. “Hmmm, interesting. I think I could duplicate this effect easily enough. Is this from a friend of yours, Alex, or did you make this lovely little tunnel all by yourself using that book Sparklebutt gave you?”
“Nah, Aqua would have had a glider, she wouldn't have needed the corridors,” Alex explained, pulling his hood down. “Xemnas opened it.”
“You humans and your strange names…” Discord’s eyes narrowed slightly. “This is about the attack, isn’t it? You know, I had to grab Fluttershy by the tail last night to keep her from flying off after you when you ran off with Twilight. I fear that herd ‘protect anything that looks young’ mentality is going to get her hurt someday if I don’t put so many wards on her that you could swing her around as a weapon instead of that key.”
“What was I supposed to do?” Alex questioned, moving towards the door. “I have Aubade, I have to use it. Great power and all that Spider-Man stuff.” Shifting his backpack, he stopped. “Sorry. I shouldn't be taking this out on you.””
“It’s fine, Alex. Frankly I’d rather you vent a little every now and then since I’m willing to listen. I’ll let Fluttershy know you’ll be out late, and that I’ll be watching you to make sure you don’t get too hurt. It’ll give her and Screwball a night alone together to chat about mare stuff if they want to.”
“Right, right.” Alex sighed, opening the cottage door and hanging his backpack on the coat rack. “Xem said he put together something in the Everfree.” Stepping back out, he pulled the door closed. “Mind if we take the long way?”
“I assume you mean walking there?” Discord took a step to the left, and one to the right at the same time, splitting himself down the middle for a moment before both of them regenerated the missing half. “I suppose having me beside you would scare the local wildlife that aren’t effectively Fluttershy’s pets away.” The figure on the right snapped and conjured a set of hiking equipment.
“I suppose that leaves me to stay behind and relay the message?” The one on the left snapped and conjured an apron to wear, and nothing else. “Fine. I suppose I could indulge in a little ‘mare talk’ myself.”
Alex tried and failed to stifle a giggle. “You done talking to yourself, Discord? Or should I give you a bit of alone time?”
“Very funny, young man.” The two responded in unison before both burst into laughter. The one with the apron walked into the cottage, with the deep belly laughter subtly shifting into a higher-pitched giggle as it walked. “I’ll send some dinner to the two of you if you stay out late enough. Just make sure Alex gets home in time for bed.”
“Yes, yes, I know, be a good ‘Mom’s Boyfriend’ and be responsible.” The other Discord held out a hand for Alex and gestured for him to follow before he began to walk towards the forest. “I’ll just run a quick scan for any new structures, unless your friend told you where the place was?”
“He said a clearing but not much else.” Staring at Discord’s hand for a moment, he gingerly took it. “He probably already took Sonata there.”
“Ah, now that does simplify things. I’ll just run a scan for your fishy little friend instead.” Swishing his tail, Discord strapped a pair of fancy goggles to his head. “So, we’re taking the long way. Finally decide to get some things off your chest?”
“Maybe? I mean, I figure I can always use the exercise too, since I’m going to need to get stronger if I’m going to be fighting.” Running his free hand through his hair, he glanced off into the trees. “I’m not... sure how to start this kind of thing.”
“I’ll see about getting you a membership at the gym in town. I’m sure you could adapt to using a few pieces of pony equipment. As long as you don’t overdo it you should be fine. Did you remember to bring your little book of war spells?” Discord brushed aside a few branches, moving them carefully out of Alex’s way as the goggles highlighted the easiest route to their destination.
“Yeah, I did.” Alex nodded, attempting to pick a topic to focus on. “Last night sucked a fat one. Two ponies are gone, Applejack hates me and Apple Bloom and her friends won’t even look at me.”
“One pony and one zebra, technically. They’re different enough to be counted separately.” Discord shook his head and let out a sad sigh. “Heartless aren’t even supposed to exist in the kind of numbers that showed up last night anymore. That was the entire reason Aqua shared keyblade use with nearly every intelligent species on the planet. I suppose it’s time for me to see if they’ve been doing their part in their realms and this is just a localized Everfree problem…”
“Jack all they’ve been doing,” Alex said rather bitterly. “I don’t need this shit. Not on top of a second puberty. Not when I have to deal with someone falling head over heels for my dumb anime ass.”
“Oh? You have someone with their eye on you? Am I going to have to give them the ‘dad’ talk about hurting a member of my family?” Discord almost appeared gleeful at the prospect as he looked back over his shoulder. “Is it a colt or a filly? Wait, wait, don’t tell me….the little cream-coated redhead with the lisp and glasses?”
Alex groaned, feeling his shoulders sag. “I didn’t even realize it until Sonata pointed it out. I don’t need this, I really fucking don’t. I got Horsey Kruger doing whatever the fuck she wants in my head, a family who hates my guts and I’m making one of my friends walk home all funny. An underage friend. Just... fuck it all!” Summoning Aubade, Alex hurled it into the woods, where it thunked into the bark of one of the larger trees.
“Walking funn…” Discord paused and laughed. “You’ve got a colt interested in you? Just explain things to him about why you’re not comfortable with things like that. Ponies are fairly easy-going about things, and there’s no chance he’d even think of trying to force you to do something you aren’t okay with. Is it the one with the long neck who looks like genetics handed him the ugly stick and he fell down the stairs carrying it? He was polite last night.”
“You’re one to talk, Frankenstein!” Alex snapped, turning on his heel. “Don’t talk shit about Snails, kid gets enough of that from that little pink thot and her grey suck up.”
“Ah-ah-ah, think about what you just said, my boy.” Discord smiled as he reached over and wrapped one arm around Alex’s shoulders in a hug. “See, we’re both learning things about you and how you feel about him. You don’t have to act on those feelings, not by any means, but knowing they exist is helpful.”
“I don’t have feelings for Snails,” Alex denied, squirming in Discord’s grasp. “I’m not screwed up in the head like that.”
“Very well. We can consider that matter dropped for the time being. We’ll see how you feel in a couple years when he starts getting back into a more proportionate form. I also wouldn’t worry too much about the Apples. The younger one’s just scared and her older sister’s angry about losing another family member. Sonata’s been pretty clear to Fluttershy and I on a few visits that she’s debating a number of options pertaining to you and Twilight saving her and her sisters from an eternity of misery and pain. Fluttershy told her that it’s all up to you, and made it clear that courtship had changed a lot over the intervening centuries.” He froze and grabbed at the words that had just left his mouth, desperately trying to pull them back in. “No, no, that wasn’t supposed to slip out. Bad chaos!”
“Gee, thanks for reminding me that the fish-pony wants to jump my bones too,” Alex hissed, pulling his hand away. “Aren’t you supposed to be better at this?”
“My boy, I’m a being of chaos. One of the biggest sources of small-scale chaos is relationships. I have a bit of a weakness for finding them intriguing, and they’ve been fun for me as well, but I’m not about to push you into anything. Just push those worries to the side. You and everyone else involved have a lot of growing to do. Focus on the now instead of worrying about what might happen. Leave all that probability nonsense to my sister.”
Discord’s entire body wiggled for a moment and he coughed up a hairball that dissolved into a pool of rainbow fluid. “Ugh, no. None of that. No worrying about her, not right now.” Reaching out with his paw, he gently ruffled Alex’s hair. “Feel good, getting that all out?”
“Not much, no.”
“That means you feel at least a tiny bit better. You really need to stop bottling everything up, Alex, or you’re going to run the risk of something nasty growing in all that emotional pollution. You and I both know there’s a number of things that can go wrong if you let yourself fall into darkness.”
Alex didn’t reply, nor did he pull away when Discord wrapped him in another hug. He merely returned the hug, letting Discord guide him to the clearing where Xemnas and Sonata waited. The sight that greeted them was almost comical, with Xemnas soaking wet as Sonata threw a bunch of small balls of water at him rapidly. They rose up from a river that flowed near the clearing, and launched across the open space just slow enough to be seen individually rather than looking like sideways rain.
“Alright, that’s enough of the sustained use. Clearly you don’t seem to have many problems if you’re drawing from a water source.”
“It depends. Moving the water takes some energy, but my sisters and I have so much spare food still built up that raw energy isn’t going to be a problem. If I don’t use a water source, though, I can get dehydrated quickly.” Sonata responded with a confident smile.
Discord kissed Alex's head before pulling way. “Alright, you should still have your practice blade, so that's one less thing to worry about.” Clearing his throat, he pulled away and waved over. “I see you two didn't waste any time.”
“Hi there!” Sonata immediately turned and waved at Alex and Discord. “Xemmy wanted me to show him how siren water manipulation worked, but don’t worry, I haven’t damaged him by trying to force water magic into him. I learned my lesson.”
“You have not the means to hurt me, Sonata,” Xemnas informed, turning to Discord and Alex. “We haven’t properly met, you may call me Lee. I am the Superior of the Inbetween.”
“Discord, Lord of Chaos and randomness. And you would be…” Discord snapped his fingers, causing a shower of confetti to rain down around Lee. “A nobody. That was supposed to turn your clothes into frosting as well. Good to see the old senses are still properly tuned.”
“Wait, what?” Alex turned his head to stare at Discord. “You...you can’t do anything to nobodies?”
“I’m unfocused chaos, Alex. Lee here doesn’t exist, in the metaphysical sense, which means my type of chaos can’t directly affect him. All that probability nonsense belongs to one who shall not be named,” Discord informed. “I could use my powers to indirectly hurt one, like say, causing a tornado, but that would be too much effort to be worth it for just one nobody.”
“Interesting. I wonder if that limitation applies to all versions of you in the multiverse or just the one in front of me.” Lee mused.
“I can’t speak for others like me, not even other me’s that are near-perfect copies. Each world has its own funny little set of rules, and even I have to acknowledge that my power has some limitations. I’m not quite a god, after all.” Discord gently nudged Alex with his elbow. “Your turn, Alex.”
“What? For exposition?” Alex questioned, turning to look at Lee. “So, uh, magic practice? I got a fancy spellbook Aqua wrote.”
“Well, that is a good thing to have. I was thinking a more general combat practice to start with, but maybe we should go over the spells that are in your book first?” Lee walked up to Alex and knelt down briefly. “If nothing else, it will expand my abilities.”
Alex studied his face for a moment before gingerly passing the book over. “Just don’t get it wet. Thing’s over a thousand years old.”
“That’s a copy, Alex. Celestia would never give you the original edition of the book her teacher kept as her personal log for combat spell formulae. I’m pretty sure that if she’d been a straight stallion back then she’d have been hitting on Aqua instead of eyeing me as her ‘exotic meat’ of choice.” Discord walked away after that, snapping his fingers to summon a hammock that fixed itself upside-down between two trees.
“Good to know,” Alex grunted, watching Lee turn through the book. “See anything new yet, Mansex?”
Sonata blinked and then began to giggle behind Lee’s back while he himself studied the pages with an utterly blank expression. “Crawling fire and fission firaga are new to me, as well as a few other elemental spells, and most of the rest of the book is full of minor crippling magic. Why use a spell to slow enemies down when you can simply stop them from acting at all?”
“Maybe you don’t have the energy for Stop?” Alex questioned, holding in a laugh. “I think it’s better to know more than one option for any given situation.”
“Options are always good. I remember Aria telling me that about some silly space shooter game she liked to play, but I didn’t get it. Options are better in spellcasting, since if you know just what to do you can get a lot more done with simpler spells.” Sonata walked over and hopped up to float just behind Lee’s shoulder so she could take a look at the spells he was looking through. “See anything in there for amplifying sound to harmful levels? If a base spell exists I might know a siren or two that could help refine it.”
“No,” Lee replied, turning to look at her. “There are no sound spells.”
“Oh, darn. I mean, okay, I guess it’ll be nice to keep one way Sirens have to attack things private, but all I can do other than sing is throw water and heal people. I haven’t been attacking at full strength either, mister ‘you couldn’t possibly hurt me.’”
“And why not?” Lee questioned, closing the book. “There’s no reason to hold back.”
“Because I don’t like hurting people who aren’t trying to hurt me? I had to do a lot of things I don’t like doing for a long time just to get by, just to get just a morsel of extra emotional food. I didn’t want to hurt you just for the sake of hurting you when I could have a little fun with it instead.” She waved at Alex. “Have him hit you with a water spell. I know he can use it now, and he doesn’t have over a thousand years of emotional baggage about causing suffering to deal with.”
“Alex would be better served learning new spells,” Lee said, passing the book back to Alex. A series of whooshing buzzes followed, several silver-bodied beings appearing from the ground around him. “And what better to test those spells on then a few nobodies?”
“Wait, I haven’t had time to actually learn anything from the book yet. I got bored reading all the breathing and meditation stuff at the beginning and looked ahead to see what else was in there.” Alex summoned Aubade to his hand, the real one, and took up a stance that felt defensive to him as he tried to look around the clearing and see which of the dusks moved first.
“Uh, duh, you could use your water magic Alex.” Sonata giggled from above after the brief taunt.
“I would take the time to study a few spells.” Lee leaned against a tree, impassive eyes studying Alex’s movements. “We have a few hours before us, after all.”
“And how much time do I have to figure out how to learn a spell before your goons attack me?” Alex snapped back as he tried to open the book with one hand.
Lee thought for a moment before responding. “Five minutes.”
“Five minutes?!” Alex growled and dropped Aubade before flipping through the book to the first elemental spell, fire. He stared blankly at the small arrangement of various runes, then flipped back to the previous page. “I hadn’t read far enough to figure out how to actually understand the damn spells yet.”
“I can help!” Sonata floated down next to Alex and flipped the page back to the fire spell. “Rune grids were still a big deal back before we left so this is pretty easy. For the fire spell you have two basic varieties, and a minor optional enhancement on one of them. There’s a version that surrounds you with a ball of fire for a few seconds, and one that launches a small ball of flames where you’re pointing.” Sonata indicated the left half of the diagram, then the right half.
“Burn, repel, surround, protect. Those are the four concepts to keep in mind for the one that burns anything that comes close. Don’t think of them when I’m next to you or I will make you wear wet panties home.” Sonata’s voice turned harsh for a second as she made her threat, then back to her normal bubbly tone as she continued. “Then there’s burn, project, combust, and...expand? Huh, that last one’s written in. Looks like the person who used this book didn’t like the fact that the basic fire spell doesn’t explode a little. Does that help?”
“Why would it explode?” Alex questioned, raising his eyebrow. “That’s not what it’s supposed to do.”
“Well, that’s what the option is with the higher tiers, usually. Turn a little ball of flames that burns just one thing into a bigger ball of growing fire that can burn multiple things. It wouldn’t really do much with a spell that has this little power in it, except catch a group of tiny enemies, maybe affect an area as wide as the length of your keyblade. If you don’t want to do that you can leave that last rune off easily by not thinking that you want to expand it. Try focusing on that second spell for a bit and, maybe point your keyblade at your target? You don’t have a horn, so we’ll have to use either that or your hands to focus your magic.”
“Right.” Alex nodded. Lifting Aubade back up, he moved a bit away and aimed at one of the Dusks. Sucking in a breath, he thought on the keywords Sonata had told him. ‘Burn, project, combust.’
“Alright, now while you’re thinking on the words, or the runes, some people do better when they think of the image than with the word...anyways, give a little push with your magic on each one as you think it, and then a bigger push as you finish the last one, and that should cast the spell. You should be able to figure out how to make this easier on your own, and everyone developed their own little shortcuts for spellcasting back in the day.”
A moment passed before a ball of fire erupted from Aubade’s tip and slammed into one of the Dusks. The nobody put up no fight as the flames consumed it. Alex stumbed back, Aubade nearly whacking him in the face from the sudden motion.
“Wow...that was pretty good for your first fire spell ever. Wanna go over another spell while we have time?” Sonata clapped her forehooves together briefly. “Let’s stick with the basics, though. More powerful spells take more energy, and burnout is kinda painful when you’re just learning.”
Alex flipped to the next page that had an element other than fire listed, though now that he knew this wasn’t some treasured relic he quickly dog-eared a page marked with a spell called ‘flame blade.’ Sonata walked him through the next one, which was significantly more complex than fire because it seemed to have a bunch of built-in bits to protect the caster and those that were considered allies. This made sense when completing the spell brought down a bolt of lightning between the two nearest Dusks and scorched the grass while shocking both of them.
“Okay, this is so cool…”
”Hey Alex, you going to the dance tonight?” Nicole’s voice came from behind him as he walked down a hallway flanked with lockers.
Alex took a quick look down at himself and sighed in relief as he saw a plain, and more importantly flat-chested t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants on a body that was old but familiar as compared to his more recent dreams. He spun around and smiled at the sight of a familiar face that wasn’t a family member. “Oh, hey Nicole... which dance was it again? I kinda lost track of time and I was deep in thought.”
Nicole giggled and quickly leaned in to surprise him with a kiss, one that he broke quickly by stumbling back. “I really should have asked you weeks ago, but I was hoping you’d ask me instead. I should have guessed you’d be nervous about anything more intimate than hanging out and watching a movie or two.”
“Well uh...” Alex blushed, feeling his tongue refusing to work correctly. His heart beat rapidly, thoughts coming in quick bursts before slowing to a trickle. He found he lacked any real experience to fall back on.
Nicole stepped in closer and gently poked him between the eyes before running her hand down his head and cupping his cheek. “You don’t have to say ‘yes’ now, or no, but get back in touch with me before the end of the day at least, okay? Treat me right and I’ll make sure we both have a great time tonight if you say yes though…” She darted in and kissed him again while sliding her hand down to rub at his groin. “If you get my drift?”
“I-I uh... wha?” Alex sputtered, unable to form words beyond random utterances. He stepped back; staring at her with wide, disbelieving eyes and with his face quickly turning red.
“I had a feeling that’s the kind of reaction you’d have. You’ve always been just a little distant even when it’s been just the two of us. Think about it, Alex.” She giggled and began to walk off with a slightly exaggerated sway in her step.
“Dude, you just got asked out by a solid 8. Go for it, she wants you to tap that ass!” Some random guy behind him shouted, probably a jock.
A sudden pit formed in his stomach, the overwhelming urge to puke his guts out falling over him. Running past the gathered crowd, he burst into the restroom. Managing to keep his bile in, he rushed into a stall and began to vomit into the toilet. The door opened once more behind him, but he couldn’t really afford to pay any attention to what someone else might be doing. His eyes squeezed tight as it felt like he was puking up everything he’d eaten for the past week. By the time he was done, his tongue was coated in a thick, foul taste.
At some point he’d collapsed onto his knees, and he could hear someone, possibly more than one someone, laughing behind him. His eyes opened, and he let out a startled cry as the toilet bowl mere inches from his face was filled with something thick, black, and bubbling.
“Fuckin’ faggot probably puked at the thought of a girl kissing him. Look at that long, girly hair.” A male voice spoke in a way that you didn’t even need to see his face to know he was sneering.
“Oh shut up, Josh. I think his hair looks totally cute the way it blows with no wind. It’s so...hot and exotic.” This voice was female, and sultry...familiar in a strange way to Alex.
Alex could feel his heartbeat speed up as he slowly stood up and a long lock of wispy, star-filled hair fell into his view. He couldn’t help but whimper a bit as he reached around to the back of his head and pulled a handful of it into view, only for the tingly hair to continue growing in his hand until it hung down past his waist. The toilet bubbled in front of him, the thick mass in the bowl jiggling almost as if it was laughing at him too.
Stumbling over to the sink, he turned the faucet and stuck his head under, desperately trying to wash the taste from his mouth. His tongue stretched out slowly, followed by a painful tug at his jaw and nose and a ghostly laugh that echoed in his head briefly.
“You’re not real,” Alex whispered, taking a few steps back. “You’re not real. Just a dream,” he repeated to himself, trying and failing to avoid looking in the mirror. A black furred pony face stared back at him with blue, slitted eyes and a mouth that was slowly dropping open in horror.
Two strong arms wrapped around his torso from behind as he bumped into someone, most likely ‘Josh’ as those hands began groping at his flat chest while something else was pressed against his rear. “Whoa, careful there sweet cheeks. What’s the matter, see a spider in the sink while you were fixing your eyeliner? Did you not notice the urinals when you came in, or were you hoping guys wouldn’t see a hottie like you strutting in here like an open invitation?”
“Get off me...” Alex pleaded, trying to pull away from him. “Just leave me alone.”
Josh squeezed again, and this time there was some give to Alex’s chest as well as a small spark of alarming pleasure that spread through his body. “Aw, come on honey. You can’t just walk into the boys’ room and not leave without at least giving me a kiss since I caught you. Heh, maybe you should give me something more than that since you’re protesting.”
Alex shuddered and whimpered softly as his entire body briefly locked up. “I said get off me...” He knew it was a nightmare, that it was Nightmare. Despite the knowledge, he found himself at her mercy, unable to break from her torment.
“You little slut…” Josh squeezed again, and Alex’s chest seemed to deform as if it was clay being molded. It hurt, too, his entire rib cage felt intensely sore as those large hands created a pair of heavy breasts that stretched out the thin shirt he was wearing. “What makes you think I’m gonna get you off without getting something in return?” That rubbing against Alex’s ass returned, this time more prominent and distinctly stiff.
“I swear to god, I will hurt you,” Alex seethed, trying to summon Aubade. “Get off...” he repeated, drawing his leg back and swinging it back into Josh’s crotch.
“Oh fuck, you fucking teasing bitch!” Those hands vanished, letting Alex free as their owner clutched at his injured balls. The fact that he was free didn’t seem to stop things, though, as Alex felt his ears burn as if licked by flames briefly. All sound ceased until something on top of his head began to twitch and swivel through his strange new hair.
Panicking, he ran for the door and pulled it open to get out of there as quick as he could. He couldn’t help but notice his breasts awkwardly bouncing on his chest, creating a painful tugging sensation.”Fuck me, that was close.” His eyes widened and his hands shot to his throat. That wasn’t his old voice, that wasn’t even Xion’s voice. That was the voice that echoed in the back of his mind with laughter earlier.
“Alex! What were you doing in the boy’s room? Did you forget to check the door before going in or something?” Nicole stood against the opposite wall, holding a small stack of books on either side of her body. “Come on, books are heavy, girl, and I don’t need to be carrying two sets. I’m not your boyfriend.”
Blinking, Alex stepped over to Nicole and held his hands out, only to have one of the sets pushed into them and up against his chest vertically.
“I can’t believe you came to school without a bra on, and with a chest your size. What’s next, Alex, a miniskirt with no panties?” Nicole whispered harshly, and Alex felt his ears twist and swivel suddenly to hear her better. “At least your coat getting matted by your shirt hides your nipples, but you are bouncing all over. I don’t want a bunch of guys drooling over you thinking they have a chance.”
“I don’t... what?” he blinked in response, staring at her like a deer in headlights. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re kidding, right? We’ve been dating for three years...you were up to your eyeballs between my legs last night. Did you hit your head or something today, or is this how you think you should break up with someone?”
Alex felt his face heat up suddenly as a ‘memory’ of that view played in his mind, but something was off, the details fuzzy. What even was Nightmare planning now? He didn’t get time to ponder the sudden swerve when Nicole pulled him into a kiss...again. Her tongue slipped into his mouth and he could only stare ahead in shock and embarrassment as he began to pitch a tent in his sweats in the middle of the hallway.
“Mmmmm,” Nicole moaned into the kiss as she backed him up against the lockers, taking a dominant stance as one hand reached down to stroke him through the cloth. “Moonrise came early today, unless you want me to use it on you for once?”
“...Wat?” Alex asked, finding his body submitting to hers. “What are you talking about?”
“You forgot? How could you forget something you told me about your own body?” Nicole gilled and stopped stroking Alex, only to slide her hand between the black-coated skin of his belly and the waistband of his sweats. He could feel her hand on him, the warmth, and it only made things worse as he gasped from the sensation. Then there was a strange tug, and an odd sliding feeling followed by emptiness as she pulled her hand up and out, holding his junk like some kind of sex toy. “I guess I get to wear it and have fun until you can remember how to take it back.”
Staring at the removed appendage, Alex officially gave up trying to figure out Nightmare’s plan. “What are you even doing, Moon Horse? Trying to give me kinks or something?”
Nicole seemed not to hear him as she lowered her ‘prize’ to her own groin and carefully slid it in place. “Mmmm, now that always does feel weird. I’ll hold onto it for the rest of the day, and I’ll see about giving it to you after the dance, or maybe during. Wear something red, it’ll look great on you.”
Alex blinked, standing in the hall as Nicole walked away. After a moment, he slide down to the floor. “What the fuck just happened?”
Things blurred, and Alex found himself laying on top of Nicole. She was smiling up at him and he could feel a warmth that he’d never really experienced before as she pulled him back down on top of her and began kissing at his neck. “What do you mean ‘what just happened?’ That was the best night we’ve ever had together, and I’m so glad you let me try it again. It felt fantastic.”
‘No... this isn’t... your dreams are my domain, girl! You aren’t supposed to be having good ones!’
“What are you even talking about?” Alex questioned, allowing Nicole to more or less maul his neck. “This isn’t some weird attempt to get me to into your kinks? I thought you were better than this? And for the record, I’m a guy.”
“Oh I know you’re sort-of a guy, Alex, but right now you’re my cute mare.” Nicole giggled and shifted her position slightly to nibble on one of his ears. This also caused something to twinge and shift inside of him, and a slight ache within his abdomen. “And I’m the stallion that just ravished you.”
“What the hell was that?” Alex frowned, reaching down to touch his abdomen. His ear flicked, trying to escape from her mouth.
Nicole giggled and switched ears, giving a teasing bite to the other before kissing him on the forehead. “Not a fan of the ears tonight, dear? You’ve been acting funny all day, but you enjoyed yourself so much at the dance. Hey, roll over real quick. I gotta go pee.”
“Uh... sure?” Complying, Alex rolled off her. “Don’t taaaaaHHH! The fuck?!” Alex felt himself seemingly hollow out as he rolled away, and he blushed as he both heard and felt something pop out of himself, followed by a leaking sensation. “Oh, oh god, NO! Nope, nope!”
‘I agree, this is too weird even for me, but we’re both stuck until your brain decides to stop.’
“My brain is not doing this!” Alex snapped, glaring vaguely at the ceiling. “We wouldn’t be here if you weren’t screwing about in my head!”
“Alex, what are you even talking about, or to? Is this that ‘Moony’ persona you keep talking about? The one that keeps laughing at you when you screw up?” Nicole paused, half-facing away with a black horse-penis drooping from her groin where she’d placed Alex’s earlier. “You were great, if you’re worried about things. I might even give this back to you in less than a week this time, unless you want to be a little...risky?”
Putting his head in his hands, Alex let out a long groan. “Please just let me wake up. I need to wake up. I’d even put up with Diamond Tiara over this insanity.”
Nicole simply shook her head and walked out of the room, then the room faded, and Alex was left alone in a grey mist, in an alien body even compared to his new one. “Fuck me…”
‘I’m pretty sure she fucked both of us. Too bad it wasn’t real. I’d get a new body and you’d get your insipid brain back.’
“Oh god, please don’t let that be the only way to get rid of you…”
“Wait...you’re over a thousand years old, what kind of boost does a charm for ‘longevity’ give to someone who’s nearly immortal?”
“Granny Rondo is over ten thousand. That’s ancient even by siren standards.” Sonata held out a small envelope to Alex with one wing. She’d apparently decided to pretend to be a pegasus today. “It’s even got a thank you note from Granny! That’s like super duper rare!”
“Oh, uh...wow.” He really hadn’t expected a number that high, but he quickly took the envelope and pulled out the letter that had been left inside for him, which had a small cloth pouch attached to it. “I guess I’ll have to write something back thanking her for the gift?” He unfolded the letter and began to read.
Dear Alex, I hope this letter finds you in the same good health that your actions allowed my granddaughters to return to this world in. I must thank you personally at some point for bringing them back alive. Until such a time as a proper ceremony is able to be performed, please let it be known that you are to be considered a knight among the sirens, and to be treated with all the respect that title entails when within our undersea kingdom, and that you may request the aid of our royal house if you are ever in trouble in another country. Your grateful queen, Savage Rondo.
“...I never expected to be knighted. That’s actually pretty damn cool.” Lowering the letter, he smiled at Sonata. “You tell Adagio and your grandma that I’ll have to stop by to visit for the ceremony.”
“I’ll make sure to include that when I write back to her, but it’ll be awhile before we develop a way to make sure you don’t drown.” She moved a little closer and poked the cloth pouch with her wing. “Don’t you want to take a look? The shells are pretty.”
“Alright, alright. Hold onto your feathers.” Carefully folding up the letter, Alex slipped it into his pocket. Opening the pouch, he carefully extracted a few of the shells. “You’re right, these are pretty.”
A single shell in particular caught his eye. Depositing the rest back into the pouch, he held it up to his eye. “Sonata, do you know what kind of shell this is?”
“That’s it, that’s the one. The others in there are just decorative, but that’s our good luck charm shell! Our old legends say that the first siren queen, Thalassine Symphony, decided to settle and build the palace where she did because of those pretty shells. The royal crown and multiple pieces of jewelry are made from them, but they’re not exclusively for the royal family.”
“So... a Thalassa shell?” Alex asked, closing his hand around the shell. Another piece of the games, now sitting in his hands. Another reminder of who he was now.
“Hey, if you knew what it was called why did you ask?”
“You know, when the original Xion died, all that was left of her was a Thalassa shell.” Sighing, Alex clutched the shell to his chest. “The universe just isn’t going to let me forget what and who I am now.”
“Did... did it have any other meanings in the games? Maybe it’s not all bad like you’re thinking?”
“They were good luck charms that sailors kept to ensure safe voyages,” Alex responded, opening his hand. “You know... That gives me an idea.”
“What kind of idea?” Sonata gasped and then immediately tackled Alex to the ground. “You’re not thinking of running away, are you? Don’t be crazy, Alex!”
“Gah! Sonata! I was not thinking of running away!” Pushing her off, Alex sat up. “Liz and Sarah had a thing that summoned them to other worlds, maybe I should make one? Shell’s about the best thing I could use.”
“Well, okay, I guess. I mean, it’s not like there’d never be a chance to get another if you wanted one to keep for yourself. They’re really only ‘rare’ because the animal they come from only comes out of hibernation to breed and die off about every twenty years, and the meat tastes horrible, so we don’t harvest them for food either.”
Reaching out, Alex pet her head. “Hey, I appreciate the gift. Don’t think I’m ungrateful or anything.” Getting to his feet, he closed his eyes. “Alright, focus on the object and implant the message... But what do I say?”
“Why not just say what you feel? Honesty feels good after all.”
’I am a puppet of Nightmare Moon and she will destroy you all if you get in her way of bringing back eternal night?’
Alex rolled his eyes. Ignoring the narcissist in his head, he began to say whatever came to him. “So, this is Alex Lionheart. If you need help in a fight or just someone to talk to, I’m game. Just call me up and I’ll show up with a big dumb key-sword to do the thing.”
A ball of water smacked Alex in the face, and burst like an overfilled water balloon. “Big dumb key sword? Don’t sell yourself short, Alex, that thing’s more than a weapon.”
“Will you stop doing that?!” Alex spluttered, wiping his face off. “You know damn well that wet clothes are not fun!”
“I never found them annoying unless what got them wet was sticky or they just never dried out properly. You should be wearing a sports bra to train anyways, and those are designed to dry quickly if they’re made well.”
“Considering how often he trains against your water constructs, a swimsuit might be better.”
“Fuck that, Lee, it’s getting too cold for this shit.”
“Oh...oh right, human bodies, cold being uncomfortable is a thing. You could try modifying a fire spell to warm up and dry off, unless you don’t feel you’ve read through the book enough to know how to do that?”
“Hello~ Chaos guy over here~” Discord called, teleporting over to Alex. Waving his paw around, he drew the moisture out of Alex’s clothes. Collecting it into an orb, he tsked. “I think this belongs to you,” he told Sonata, chucking it at her face.
Sonata reacted quickly, deflecting the water upward and separating it into smaller balls before they started to orbit her head. “Gotta be faster than that to use my own water against me.” She stuck her tongue out at Discord before opening her mouth to suck all the water back in. “Mmmm, refreshing though.”
“Note to self: waterproof clothes,” Alex muttered, glaring at Sonata. “Okay, can we get started now?”
“Well, yeah. What did our great and emotionless instructor have in mind today? More blasting nobodies, or more practice dodging things?” Sonata turned to address Lee with that last part.
“Sparring.” Lee raised a hand, conjuring a pair of portals. Ahuizotl and Iron Will stepped into view, both clad in black coats. “We all need to hone our skills.”
“Iron Will will show the little heifer how to fight,” the minotaur declared, summoning a set of wild looking spears. They floated behind him, tips glinting in the sun.
“Must you continue to speak in the third person? That only happens with me in Daring Do’s books because her ghostwriter wants to add drama.” Ahuizotl growled at the minotaur while drawing his odd spikey guns. His tail-hand placed a small can of cat food on the ground. “A little more warning next time would be nice, though. The little kitten is going to knock over all of the cans I hadn’t put away yet.”
“Where’d you find these two chucklefucks?” Alex questioned, summoning his training keyblade. “And why is one of them a monkey dog?”
“Wandering, lost and alone, having been either devoured by heartless or killed by some unknown assailant.” Lee pointed to Iron Will while mentioning heartless, and then to Ahuizotl. “And Ahuizotl was being attacked by a monster with silver claws and red eyes before something else attacked him from behind and stopped his heart. I found two more today, and they are recuperating in a cave nearby.”
“Who?” Alex locked onto Xemnas. “You tell me right now, Lee.”
“A zebra and a large red stallion. He hasn’t said a single thing yet, and seemed dazed.”
Sonata’s eyes widened and she smiled. “Alex, that’s gotta be Big Mac! If you bring him home, then Applejack won’t hate you anymore!” She practically began dancing in place at this revelation.
“Take him to the farm, now,” Alex insisted. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do with these two numbnuts, but you take Big Mac to Sweet Apple Acres.”
“I think a little girl like you should take more care in who she attempts to insult.” Ahui tilted his head slightly, and used the side of the bladed gun barrel to scratch an itch along the side of his neck in an almost careless way.
“Iron Will thinks it’s time to teach a few lessons. It’ll be like old times.” The minotaur bore a cocky grin as one of his spears twirled around to point right at Alex.
“Very well. None of you kill each other, understand?” Lee waved a hand and opened up a dark portal behind himself. “Though I expect Discord will see to that.” Turning his back to them, he stepped through the portal and vanished.
Iron Will chuckled and looked between Sonata and Alex. “So, which one of you girls is gonna be the first to feel Iron Will’s spear?”
Ahui groaned and shook his head. “I thought you had a wife, and one of them is clearly still growing.”
“...Iron Will should probably rephrase that, shouldn’t he?”
“You think?”
“Hey, uh, Alex?” Apple Bloom’s voice came from behind him a few minutes after he sat down to eat his lunch with Snails. “Can Ah ask you a couple questions?”
Alex paused, carefully turning his head to Apple Bloom. “Sure, if it doesn’t involve me getting kicked in the chest by your sister. It’s been aching enough as it is lately without me having to worry about adding on even more pain.”
“She ain’t gonna find out. Ah just, Ah have some questions...about Big Mac. He... he doesn’t seem quite right.” Shuffling on her hooves, she glanced at her own flank. “He... he ain’t got his cutie mark...”
Sighing, Alex gestured to the seat across from him. “Take a seat, Apple Bloom.”
Apple Bloom hopped up quickly, and pulled a small bundle off her back to quickly unwrap it while offering Snails a brief nod. Her own lunch was a salad with apple bits scattered throughout it.
“So, questions.” Alex snapped, pointing at Bloom. “Ask away before we get called back in.”
“What happened to him? Why is his mark missin’? Why was AJ so angry with you when Twilight seemed to know more?” She fired off three questions rapidly before biting her lip in thought. “It...it’s not some kinda cutie-mark-erasin’ disease, is it? Ah ain’t even got mine yet.”
“His heart was stolen,” Alex explained, taking a bite of his tuna sandwich. “He’s a nobody now, he doesn’t exist. Not like you and me, not anymore.”
“But he acts almost exactly the same as he did before. Ah’ve caught him frowning instead of smilin’ a couple times, is that why he just feels off?”
“Oh, look, a Blank Flank, the Freak, and the Slowpoke all together.” A familiar, and annoying voice announced the approach of Diamond Tiara before anyone else had noticed her in the immediate area. “Three pathetic excuses for ponies.”
“Well of course I’m a terrible pony, I’m a great ape,” Alex responded, leaning over to look at her. “Maybe you need glasses?”
“Hmph, shows what you know. Everypony knows that if something can speak that means it’s part pony.”
“Uhhh, that’s not true, and Alex is from a dif-”
“Nobody asked you, Slowpoke.”
"I am not a SLOWPOKE! I-I can cast spells, and I d-do know magic, but it's all about bugs and learning." Snails stood up on the bench and glared at Diamond Tiara, his voice full of anger.
"Oh, yeah, sure, and I'm Nightmare Moon's secret child. Go ahead, Slowpoke, cast something harder than basic levitation or telekinesis. I'll even give you a couple bits if it surprises me." Diamond Tiara grinned as she reared up to place her hooves at the edge of the table so she could stare right at Snails with all the contempt she could bring to bear.
’That filly did not come from my loins…’
‘What, you actually have kids out there?’ Alex questioned, putting his sandwich down. “Look, we’re in the middle of something here. Go take your self-esteem issues somewhere else, Headpiece.”
Snails hesitated, and he glanced over at Alex with a slight smile.
“Awww, isn’t that cute, the Freak and the Slowpoke care about each other. Are you already planning something for Hearts and Hooves day?”
“You leave Alex alone! H-he...w-we’re all s-sick of you, Diamond Tiara!”
"I don’t see any magic. You're just a lying little slowpoke. It'd be better for everypony if you just broke your horn off, that's how useless you are."
Apple Bloom just sat there stunned as the two of them actually taunted Diamond Tiara back. She’d always been told this was wrong, but Alex looked perfectly calm as he did it. Gears began turning in her head as she slowly and carefully chewed on her salad.
"I AM NOT A SLOWPOKE! Y-you want proof I can do magic? Fine! BALLOON!" Snails’ horn flashed and blinked a bit, but an aura soon burst to life around it as the spell came to mind, and he lowered it to point right at Diamond Tiara.
A number of large translucent balls popped into existence around the pink filly, and she turned her head to look at them with wide eyes before lifting one hoof off the edge of the table to prod the one that had landed in front of her. “Huh, I guess you can-”
The balloon popped, loudly, and with enough force to leave a crack in the wood of the table. Diamond Tiara shrieked in a combination of surprise and pain as she was knocked back and off-balance...directly into the balloons that had appeared behind her. These also popped, and she was knocked forward and under the edge of the table where she’d just been leaning. She almost immediately started sobbing in pain.
Alex leapt from his seat, and with a heave of strength he didn’t know he had, shoved the table out of the way. “Cure!” he shouted, a trio of bell-like flowers appeared above the sobbing filly, covering her in yellow particles.
“Whoa!” Apple Bloom tumbled off the bench as the table was shoved aside, but she quickly picked herself up off the ground and headed for the building. “I’ll get Miss Cheerilee, that looked serious.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. There were two versions in your book. I must have used the grid for the wrong one! I-I meant to lift her off the ground and hold her in place for a few minutes, not hurt her!”
Alex looked back at him, giving Diamond another dose of Cure. “That doin’ anything for you, Diamond?” Alex asked, changing his gaze to the filly. “I can do a few more casts but, this is gonna wear me out.”
“I-I w-want my m-mommy!” The filly screamed and continued to sob even as a small crack left in the hoof that touched the first balloon sealed back together from Alex’s spellcasting.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Snails whimpered and backed away.
Casting Cure again, Alex felt a general tiredness settle over him. “Snails, just take a breath okay? Sit down and wait for Ms. Cheerilee,” Alex instructed, casting Cure one last time before his weakening body forced him to kneel down.
“Alright, alright students, clear away.” Cheerilee’s voice was heard soon after, and a quiet shuffling of hooves on grass could be heard as most of the other students parted to allow their teacher and Apple Bloom to approach. “Alex, Snails, if one of you could help me get Diamond Tiara onto my back, I would like to speak with the three of you inside. Now.” There was no harshness in her tone, but there didn’t need to be for the words alone to convey a sense of disappointment.
“Y-yeah.” Alex nodded, wrapping his arms around the sobbing filly. Taking in a breath, he eased himself up, adjusting Diamond’s extra weight. “Can you come a little closer? I don’t want to risk carrying her that far.”
Cheerilee moved up right next to Alex and knelt down slightly to make it easier for him. She let out a soft sigh as another thought crossed her mind with the sobbing filly so close. “Let me see...Rumble, could you fly to Diamond Tiara’s home and tell whoever answers the door about her being hurt at school, please? Don’t give them any details other than that, I don’t need them to jump to the wrong conclusion.”
“Yes Miss Cheerilee!” A grey pegasus colt nodded and immediately started flying away towards the more opulent part of the small town while Cheerilee waited.
Easing Diamond onto her back, Alex steadied himself. “Come on, Snails. Sorry about your questions, Bloom.”
“It’s okay, Alex...this was kinda worth it.”
“That’s not funny, Apple Bloom. I know she’s been teasing you all horribly, but...nevermind.” Cheerilee quickly walked back into the schoolhouse without slowing down or even looking back to ensure that the other two students she’d told to follow her were doing so. They were, of course, with Snails keeping a somber pace and looking like he’d just killed his favorite bug.
“Thank you for coming to pick Alex up, Fluttershy. I’m afraid there was an incident at lunch today involving Alex and two other students.” Cheerilee’s voice came in through the open window of the schoolhouse clear enough for both Alex and Snails to hear. Diamond Tiara had been taken home earlier in the day.
“Oh my!” Fluttershy gasped. “He isn’t hurt, is he?” A beat passed before she asked. “He didn’t get into any fights, I hope.”
“We have a problematic student who likes to belittle others. She’s made comments multiple times about Alex. Smelling meat on his breath, smelling blood on him, claiming that he’d licked his lips while looking at her. According to Alex, Snails, and Apple Bloom, she approached the three of them and began making her usual taunting remarks, including using a word for unicorns that has gotten her in trouble in the past, and, well, Snails retaliated...with a spell he claims he saw in a book Alex received recently. Alex actually helped the filly after the spell hurt her, and Snails claims that there was another version he was trying to use…”
Fluttershy was silent for a moment before speaking. “Princess Celestia sent him a spell book a few weeks ago. He’s been practicing after school.”
“Yes, well... I’m afraid I have to do something because it’s Alex’s fault that Snails was even able to cast a spell like that. The filly is getting two weeks of after-school detention for instigating the situation, repeated taunting, and for using an anti-unicorn slur multiple times. Alex and Snails will be getting one week of detention served at lunchtime, to keep the three of them apart in their punishments, and I also need to insist that Alex not bring the book to school anymore. I’ve already told him this, and I’m waiting for someone from Snails’ family to come pick him up still. I hope you understand.”
Alex sighed and looked over at Snails, who was still sad and simply staring down at his desk. “Hey,” he whispered, trying to sound cheerful. “It’s not your fault.”
“I’m the one who cast the wrong spell. It’s not your fault to be punished for me doing something wrong. How could I know the right runes were on the next page?” Snails didn’t really whisper in response, but he did keep his voice a little below his normal speaking volume. “Her getting hurt is my fault.”
“It sounds like he’s already punishing himself to me.” Fluttershy’s response came through the window a few seconds later.
“He’s not a bad colt. Apparently, according to Alex, Diamond Tiara has been taunting Snails like that since he came here. He broke down crying the first time she ever used that word, so I’m not all that surprised that something like this happened. She’s been warned in the past about this kind of thing, which is why she’s getting the harsher punishment.”
“I’ll make sure he leaves it at home, I promise Cheerilee,” Fluttershy assured. “I’ll talk to him about keeping the spell casting off school grounds, too.”
“I wouldn’t ban all spellcasting on school grounds. He apparently healed the filly completely before I even got out there. I would actually feel better if he felt free to cast that on any students who manage to hurt themselves seriously enough for it to be a problem. Anyways, he’s inside, waiting. I’m sorry to take up your time for this, but a student was injured.”
“Oh, it’s no problem, Cheerilee. I’m sorry all of this happened.” The door opened a few moments later, revealing a rather worried Fluttershy. “Come on, Alex. We can talk more about this at home.”
“Yeah, I’m coming.” Rising to his feet, Alex fought off his remaining fatigue and gave Snails a quick hug. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, just do better next time.” His advice given, he pulled away from Snails and made his way over to the door.
“Y-yeah. Thanks Alex.” Snails sniffed softly, and offered a smile before putting his head back down on the desk.
“So your little friend stood up to a filly that was bullying him and trying to bully you and another filly? I say she deserved what she got, and you healed her so the pain went away quick enough. She’ll probably have forgotten most of it in a week or two anyways.” Sonata took a bite out of an apple while watching Alex do a few sit-ups. “How much longer are you going to do those? I know it’s later than Xemnas usually shows up when he wants us to train, but I’m kinda bored just watching you.”
“The way I figure it, I need to build up stamina if I’m gonna be using a ton of spells,” Alex argued, glancing at her. “If you’re bored, you can be my water boy.”
Sonata seemed to pause in thought for a moment, then shook her head quickly. “If I’m gonna be a boy for you it’s not going to be to give you water. I can do that just fine as my normal female self.”
Alex snerked. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Sonata.”
“Hey, you laughed. That’s an improvement. Usually you just get all flustered when I tease you about adult stuff.” She popped the last of the apple in her mouth and then carefully swallowed before hopping down from the resting bench she’d been sitting on. “So, whatcha actually need help with? Most of these setups don’t look like you’d be all that comfortable using them.”
“Yeah, I noticed that. It’s all geared for ponies.” Alex stopped for a moment, looking around the room. “I probably should have seen that coming.”
“You know, if you were about three feet taller I’d suggest having Discord transport us to a minotaur gym. You have almost no muscle mass compared to them, but at least there’d be some body structure similarity there.”
“Are you calling me shrimpy?”
“No, I’m saying minotaurs are tall and bulky. You’ve seen Iron Will yourself, and he’s not even one of the stronger ones from what I remember...unless minotaurs have gotten small over the last thousand years.”
“Whatever.” Getting up, Alex made his way over to one of the machines. From a first glance, it appeared to be a leg press of some kind. “Come over here and help me with this.”
Sonata walked over and looked at the machine, finally ducking down under the padded bed and pulling out a large grip so that the bed lowered enough for Alex to climb on. “Blech. Whoever adjusted this last needs to brush their teeth.”
“You could just turn into a unicorn and not have to worry about it,” Alex commented, laying down on the bed. “Okay, let’s give this a try. Sonata, you’re my spot, got it?”
“Okay. First thing I spot is we need to make sure you can get your legs positioned comfortably, but not extend them fully without pushing on the weight pad. So move those legs.” Getting a little hooves-on, she moved Alex’s legs into the correct position and then carefully adjusted the height of the back pad. “There! That should be perfect! Now let’s see, how much weight should I set it on for a quick test push?”
“How about none?” Dash stepped into view, looking at Alex with a frown. “Now, I know you’re not thinking right. I don’t know anything about humans, but what I do know is that you’re supposed to know medicine. Is it okay for human foals to be doing this kind of thing?”
“I’m not a foal, I’m a teenager!”
“That’s even worse, then, isn’t it? Your bones are growing, and if something goes wrong you could break something and then never grow right. Why would you risk crippling yourself? Worse, why would you risk enduring the ‘child’ treatment for the rest of your life? I know you hate that overprotective crap, but... yeah. Kids do dumb things.” Dash ducked under the backrest and pulled the grip out to let it down to its lowest point.
“Yeah... this wasn’t our best idea, Alex,” Sonata admitted, her ears sweeping back. “I’m sorry, I know you’re still an adult were it counts the most, but she has a point.”
“Rrrrgh, fine, what do you suggest I do then, Dash? I get tired too quick during training with Xemnas, and the other day I could only cast Cure a few times before I just wanted to fall asleep. How am I supposed to help protect ponies when I can barely fight?”
“Aerobics, you goof,” Dash replied, whacking Alex with her wing. “I can grab you in the morning before school for a run. But! You have to promise not to do any training that isn’t supervised. Also, I want you to take a run on the treadmill here so I can see how far you can get before you start to slow down.”
“That... that’s actually smart, and reasonable, and not condescending at all. Yeah, thanks Dash.”
“Hey, I remember what being a teenager was like. Buncha hormones washing around in your brain, can’t really think straight. We all did dumb things as teens and you’re no exception now that you are one again.” Rainbow Dash smiled before doing her best impression of Spitfire at the Wonderbolts Academy. “Let’s go, recruit, get your sorry markless rump over to that treadmill!”
“You ever get tired of wearing the same thing, over and over again?” Sonata questioned, curling around Alex. “The coat is nice and all but it’s just so... plain.”
“It’s getting chillier out, Sonata, and I’ve seen the kinds of things Rarity tends to make. I don’t need a coat that looks like someone from Jersey attacked it with a Bedazzler.” Alex flipped to the next page in ‘The Arts and War’ and smiled. “How about something from the Magnet line of spells? Gather a bunch of enemies up and splash them all?”
“Oooh~ That sounds fun. I know Ari would love this spell, she can do like a fighting game combo on em!” Wagging her tail almost like a dog, she jabbed at the air. “Flawless victory!”
“Friendship!” Alex chimed in, and then laughed while making sure that the rune grid had the name of the right spell below it. He’d gone back with Sonata’s help and labelled the two base variants of Balloon as ‘damage’ and ‘playful’ respectively after the incident with Snails. “So I know what the spell is supposed to do, but you need to see the runes to learn it, right?”
“I need to at least know what the spell is meant to do, and the runes tell me how to direct the magic. I’m seeing float, gather, disorient, and rotate...so they spin in the air while they’re all balled up above your head?”
“Yup, holds ‘em all in the air so you can hit ‘em with another spell,” Alex explained, replaying some old gameplay in his head. “If I recall correctly, there's a version designed specifically to rip money out of your enemies.”
“Wait, I thought you said all the enemies in these games were just monsters? Why would monsters be carrying mone... oh, duh, game. Right. I doubt there’d be a version of that one in the book here, unless this ‘Lady Aqua’ was the kind to rob soldiers if she fought things other than heartless and nobodies.”
Alex shrugged. “You never know, stuff gets weird. You’re a fish pony and we live in a world where two pegacorns move the sun and moon. Is a money stealing spell that far out of left field?”
“I suppose, when you put it that way, it’s no less strange than a certain fishy princess being interested in both a nerdy ‘pegacorn’ and an ape with no fur. Then again, I’m starting to think the whole ‘you saved my life so I owe you everything you could want’ mentality is a little old-fashioned, and as the new heir-designate I’m kinda obligated to do something to continue the family line too. Big Mac’s pretty strong, and cute... can a nobo-”
“Please don’t finish that question, Sonata. I don’t know. I don’t want to know, and I really don’t need to find out.” Alex cringed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “It’s nice that you at least try to treat me like an adult, Sonata, but there are some things I really don’t need to be thinking about right now.”
"I don't know if you can hear this, but if you can, and if you have some way to get here, I could really use some help right now." Alex heard a male voice echo in his head, one that was somewhat familiar, but at the same time it felt like he hadn’t heard in years.
“You hear that?” Alex questioned, looking at Sonata with wide eyes. “‘Cause I know I heard it.”
“I’ve got better ears than you do, Alex, and I didn’t hear a thing.” Sonata looked up at him with a worried expression. “Discord mentioned that the seal he put on Nightmare for you the other day when she distracted you during training wasn’t perfect... was it her?”
“No, it wasn’t Nightmare.” Closing the book, Alex stood up and placed it back into his coat. “I think... another displaced is calling me.” He felt a tug forward, and Aubade appeared in his hand as a white rift appeared in front of him, swirling with a rainbow aura around the edges. He took a couple steps towards it, only to stop as Sonata bit down on the hem of his coat.
“Nuh-uh! Not alone you don’t…”
“Then, come on.” Alex ran forward, dragging Sonata with him. “Someone’s waiting on us.”
They went through the light together, and entered a tunnel full of swirling colors and shifting images.
Alex found himself in a standing position, his forward momentum completely gone. Sonata appeared next to him, just as dazed. Several figures to the side drew his attention. “You uh... called?” Alex asked, glancing at a boy who looked exactly like Sora. His gaze then moved around the area and took in this world’s version of Fluttershy and her friends, and Princess Luna. Finally, there stood a tall, white, alicorn stallion with a mane, tail, and goatee that had the same colors as flames. “Okay, this is just surreal.”
One more stallion stood off to the side wearing what looked like the upper half of a suit; complete with a bowtie and monocle. This was a white-coated unicorn with a wavy, light blue mane and tail. That same color was also present on his hooves, and he had managed to grow the world’s tiniest mustache.
“Again! I wanna do that again! That was such a fun trip.” Sonata did everything but jump for joy as she began looking around. She didn’t reem to react at all to the obvious duplicates of ponies she knew, but hummed softly at the marble floors and walls with tasteful gold accents. They seemed to have landed in Canterlot Palace.
Sora stared at the two figures for a moment before another explosion made him shake his head. “Right,” he muttered. “Fighting now; questions later.” He cleared his throat, turning his full attention to the familiarly-cloaked figure. “Alright, here’s the situation. We’ve got a bunch of heartless attacking Canterlot, including three Darksides and a dozen Behemoths. Can you help, Xion?”
Alex tensed up before grunting. “My name is Alex and yeah, I can probably help. Just uh, don’t expect really fancy stuff from me, still new to this.”
“Then I will aid you,” Solaris said, the white alicorn stepping forward. He nodded down at Alex before addressing Sora. “You and Luna take to the skies. Deal with the Darksides and aid our ponies where you can. Alex and I will begin clearing the streets of the Behemoths.” He grinned and cracked his neck, his mane turning into fire. “It has been far too long since my blade has tasted battle.”
“You alright with that plan?” Sora asked Alex.
“Sounds fine to me,” Alex responded, conjuring up a keyblade that was, to Sora’s surprise, not Kingdom Key. “I don’t know my way around Canterlot; where’s a good vantage point?”
“Hop on,” Solaris answered, kneeling down so that Alex could climb onto his back. “I’ll take you wherever you need to go to be most effective.”
The blue mare eyed the two alicorns suspiciously for a few seconds. “I could help keep the small-fry away from the palace if you two promise no more banishings. That could help keep some of your ponies safe.” Her tone went from bubbly and perky to businesslike quite quickly, as if she could sense the seriousness of the situation.
“I am unsure what you are referring to by ‘banishings,’” Luna replied, eyeing the mare suspiciously, “but any aid you can offer would be appreciated. In fact,” she looked over to Fancy and the Element Bearers, “the seven of you should aid her. Ponies will no doubt soon be flocking to the castle for safety; they will need familiar faces to help calm and direct them, and I can think of no better options than our most recently recognized heroes.”
Twilight nodded, standing straight. “Of course, Princess Luna! We won’t let you down!” With that, she and the others turned and galloped off.
“Now then,” Sora said, vaulting onto Luna’s back, “shall we go and kill some heartless?”
Alex patted the blue mares head. “Go ham, Sonata.” Twitching his hand, Alex switched his keyblade for another. This one was gold and black at the hilt, with a splayed black widow acting as the guard while the shaft was made to look like thick webbing that visibly pulsed with energy every so often. The blade was a nearly-invisible plane of slightly-purple crystal, revealed only as the energy pulses from the shaft lit it up.
Sonata let out a giggle that altered in pitch to become an evil laugh. “Ohh I like ham. Tacos are still better, though.” She quickly followed after the group of seven, her ears twitching as her finely-tuned sense of hearing allowed her to follow their hoofsteps perfectly without being misled by echoes.
“Hm,” Luna hummed. “I begin to see why banishment might be on her mind.”
Glancing at Solaris, Alex smiled. “Uh, thanks but I got my own way to travel.” The keyblade in his hands glowed before transmuting, attaching to his back in the form of a quartet of mechanical, spider-like legs. Turning towards a wall, he quickly scaled up to the roof with his new equipment.
Sora’s jaw dropped and he stared in open-mouthed shock. “That… wasn’t in the games.”
“Gawk later,” Luna snapped, charging out the window and taking wing, Solaris right behind them. “If she has a way to transport herself, then that leaves Sol with more room to maneuver.” She turned and nodded to him. “Good hunting, brother.”
“Oh, it will be.” Solaris smiled malevolently, his horn flaring to life. He broke off and dove for the nearest Behemoth, his horn glowing brighter all the while.
“Crap,” Sora muttered before turning to look over at Alex. “OY! NOT-XION! COVER YOUR EYES! SOL’S ABOUT TO GO SUPERNOVA!”
“It’s Alex!” Alex shouted back, already scaling a taller building. He kept his eyes on the wall in front of him, refusing to look behind. “And I hear ya!”
“FEEL THE WRATH OF THE SUN!!!” The shout was followed by a blinding flash and the quickly cut-off roar of a Behemoth. When the light faded and Alex dared to look, he found Sol standing in a circle of ash, two swords of fire in his magical grip and golden, flaming armor covering him from horn to fetlock. He grinned and hefted his blades, launching himself skyward once more and winging over towards his next target.
“I’m suddenly very glad I decided to skip that ride!” Alex said to himself as he took in just how much damage had just been done to that heartless with a single attack. “Okay, stick to the plan, get up high and use the big gun.”
Reaching his determined building, Alex switched keyblades again. This new one was almost grotesquely organic-looking, and glowed with purple highlights in many places. The guard was made of malformed draconic wings and the shaft looked like it was made of multiple bones folded together, with the teeth of the key looking like a motley assortment of alien talons and fangs.
A thought changed its shape, turning it into what could be described as a mix between a sniper rifle and a crossbow. “Okay..., here’s hoping all that practice paid off.” Hunkering down, he took aim at a behemoth and fired at its horn. The result was a lance of purple light that seemed to snake through the air like a bolt of lightning before impacting the base of the monster’s horn in the exact spot Alex had been aiming.
“Archer on deck!” Alex looked to the side just as Sol landed next to him. The alicorn took off his helmet and gave Alex an appraising look. “Strange, that. Sora may have magic in his arsenal, but he always prefered to charge in blade first. I always assumed it was a human thing.”
“I’m still learning how to do all those crazy moves. The transformations do me just fine for now.” Returning his attention to his target, Alex fired again. “Least until I know what I’m doing.”
“A novice, then?” Sol dismissed his blades, choosing instead to take careful aim with his horn. “Understandable, then. Though I am once again surprised. You see, Sora has been here for three thousand years.” He let loose a bolt of sunfire, one which struck a Behemoth on one of its antlers, disintegrating it instantly. Sol scowled in irritation as the heartless thrashed in pain. “I assumed something similar from you. Clearly, I need to reset my expectations.” He fired another shot, this one striking the horn and causing the Behemoth to bellow and collapse. It soon dissolved into shadow, leaving Sol to hum in contentment. “So, what can you tell me about yourself, young lady?”
Alex frowned. “I have the body of a girl, doesn’t mean I am one. Only been in Equestria, my Equestria for a few months. And no, there’s no way I’ve lost track of time. I was as male as Sora is before that.”
Sol stared at Alex for a moment before throwing back his head and letting loose a loud, bellowing laugh. “Ahahaha! Of course! Here you are, confirming several theories of multiversal existence, and yet the best part is knowing that Sora might have arrived in this world as a mare! Ha!” He wiped away a tear before grinning back down at Alex. “My apologies, young man. And my thanks. I will be able to use this to tease Sora for years to come!” He returned his attention to the city below and began to pick targets once again. “So, how did you come to be in this version of Equestria? I assume it had something to do with that sea-shell?”
“Yeah, Sora called me from my world.” Alex stopped, his face going blank. “Fluttershy is probably out of her mind in panic over this.”
“Fluttershy?” Sol asked, sniping another Behemoth. “Is she your guardian in your Equestria? Are the worlds really that similar to each other?”
“She adopted me a few days after I showed up. Has to do with laws regarding minors and a bunch of stuff that gives me a headache,” Alex elaborated, taking another shot. “She and Discord make surprisingly good legal guardians.”
The temperature on the roof skyrocketed instantly. “...I’m sorry,” Solaris said, his voice low and dangerous, “but did you just say that Discord, Spirit of Chaos and Contention, Anarchy Incarnate, the Laughing Madness, makes for a good legal guardian!?” These last words issued out in a hiss as Sol’s mane and tail whipped wildly through the air.
“Uh... yeah.” Alex turned back, frowning again. “He’s a pretty good guy. Best ‘Mom’s boyfriend’ I’ve ever met.” He looked down, sighing. “Wish I had him growing up the first time, to be perfectly honest.”
“I see. One moment, please.” With a mighty, animalistic cry, Solaris unleashed more than twenty streams of sunfire from his horn. These rivers of liquid fire streamed down to the city below, engulfing and obliterating the remaining Behemoths in a matter of moments. Sol’s legs shook as he took several great gulps of breath before regaining his composure and sitting down. “Again, I apologize. It would seem that our worlds are rather different from each other after all.” He turned his full attention on Alex, concern filling his eyes. “Your childhood was… unpleasant, then? I am not quite as good a listener as Luna, but I am an open ear if you feel the need to vent for a minute. It will take Sora and Luna a while yet to finish off the Darksides.”
“‘Unpleasant doesn’t begin to describe what my childhood was like,” Alex scoffed, taking a moment to watch the battle. “I got a black eye once because I didn’t feel like watching some stupid Chuck Norris movie with my dad.”
“I see.” Solaris glared out over the city. “Abuse towards a child is unforgivable. Your father deserves a stern lecture.” His horn lit up and he summoned a large, spiked greatclub, the words ‘Stern Lecture’ carved into the side. He held it out to Alex. “If you ever see him again, be sure to give it to him. Business end first.”
Steam slowly began to rise from the various areas that had recently held behemoths, the closest one accompanied by the distinct, if distant, hiss of water splashing over the heated area.
“Right.” Alex took the great club, which immediately slammed onto the roof. “Uh.. Might be a little too heavy for me.”
“I realize that such a task may be difficult, weighty even, but I am sure you will find the strength to…” Sol trailed off, finally noticing Alex’s struggle to lift the weapon. “Oh. Yes. Physically heavy.” He lit his horn, and a golden aura surrounded the club for a moment. “Try it now. One twentieth the weight for the wielder, and twenty times the weight for the victim. Er, target.”
Alex eyed it before lifting it up. “Well, if you got the time, I don’t mind sharing a bit. Don’t want to burden Fluttershy with all my baggage. Heck, even the two people I got these keyblades from didn’t hear everything.”
“I am sure that she would be more than happy to support you,” Sol said. “Nevertheless, I will happily lend my ear.” He looked up and smirked as the first Darkside finally fell and Luna began to wing her way over to the second one. “It would seem that Sora and my sister are taking the time to play with their prey, after all.”
Debating for a moment, Alex set the weapon back down. “You know, we used to have a prince of the sun in my world, Celestine Solaris.”
Sol groaned and massaged his muzzle. “Please don’t let Luna or Sora know that; I’ll have months of not-so-subtle hints at the ‘limits of my immortality’ and whatnot.”
“Well, you should know that he was gay and had a long-lasting, to my knowledge, relationship with Discord.” Alex swallowed nervously, and tried to smile. “It was... pretty serious. Discord even turned himself female so they could have a child at one point. Her name is Pandemonium, but she goes by Screwball now.” Reaching into his coat, he pulled out his phone and pulled up a picture of himself and a floating purple earth-pony mare, with curly hair and eyes that had spirals instead of irises or pupils.
Sol pondered the photograph for a moment. “Interesting. This mare exists in this Equestria too, though she has no relation to Discord as far as I can tell.” His eyes jumped from the photo to Alex. “And to make sure you don’t get any sort of ideas, I’m as straight as a ramp. Insinuate otherwise to Sora or my sister, and you will find yourself cooked medium-well.”
“You know he didn’t die right? Things kinda fell apart when Disord turned him into a mare and couldn’t turn him back.”
“Goodness,” Sol deadpanned. “I couldn’t imagine why any male would freak out over being irreversibly turned female.”
“Yeah, like myself,” Alex replied, crossing his arms. “Discord says I can talk to him about things anytime I want to, but could I vent a little to someone I’m pretty sure will never end up in my world?”
“Be my guest,” Sol replied, settling down and relaxing. “Though you may wish to keep it a touch brief; Sora and my sister seem to have tired of playing with their food.”
----------
“So let me get this straight,” said Luna. “She is the result of an experiment to replicate the abilities of your ‘nobody’ so that this Organization 13 would have more keyblade bearers at their disposal?”
“Pretty much,” said Sora. “Or at least that’s who she’s been turned into. If she goes by ‘Alex’, then she’s probably in about the same situation I am; trapped in another world and given strange powers and DUCK!” Luna dove, barely passing beneath a Darkside’s fist. Sora raised his keyblade, dragging it up the underside of the arm as Luna flew towards its head. Sora and Luna fired a series of fire spells and blasts of moonlight, blasting the Darkside’s head into oblivion.
“How many remain?” asked Luna as the heartless’s body dissolved.
“One more that I can see,” said Sora. “I think Sol and Alex have taken down all of the behemoths, too.”
“Well then, let’s not keep them waiting.” Luna charged straight for the remaining Darkside, brandishing dual short-swords of moonlight. She flew straight through the center of the Darkside, slashing at both sides of its chest as she went. It let out a groan of pain, reaching down to snatch Luna out of the air.
“Firaga!” With a flick of Oblivion, Sora sent a fireball hurtling towards the darkside’s hand, blowing it clean off. A few more moonblasts and fira spells, and the final Darkside fell.
“Alright, let’s head back to the others,” said Sora. Luna nodded and turned, flying to where the orb of sunlight hovered. “You know, I expected there to be more of the smaller heartless around. There’s usually a few swarms of shadows around a darkside.”
Luna looked over her shoulder at him, quirking an eyebrow. “You haven’t noticed? Look down at the streets as we fly.”
Curious, Sora leaned over to get a good view of the streets passing below. Soon enough, he saw what Luna meant. The shadows and neoshadows were there, along with a scattering of other heartless. However, they were being hunted and driven back by…
“Keybladers?” asked Sora in shock. There weren’t a lot of them, and the ones he saw seemed to have no idea how to use a sword beyond wildly swinging it back and forth, but they were there.
Luna chuckled at Sora’s dumbfounded expression. “Did you think that because all of the old wielders had passed away that the new generation would not be able to rise to the challenge? Have more faith in our kind than that.”
Sora nodded, a grin splitting his face. They weren’t masters. They weren’t anywhere close, and probably never would be. None of their keyblades were unique like Fancy Pants’; they were all just the basic Kingdom Keys. But they were there, and they were fighting back.
“I think Sol’s going to have to set up a civilian sword-fighting class,” said Sora. “Maybe make keybladers an official part of the royal guard.”
“Perhaps,” said Luna. “I shall speak with him about it. In the meantime… wait.” Her eyes narrowed as they neared the castle. “I see. So that’s what she meant.”
In addition to the various novice keybladers, Sonata was floating along in the air at a manic pace in a shape somewhat different from her initial presentation in this world. Instead of a normal earth pony tail, there was a long dolphin-like appendage with the flukes colored the same as her two-tone tail was before, and a spinal frill that ran down the entire length of her body from head to tail. Small fins decorated each leg and replaced her ears, marking her as an uncorrupted siren. She was quite happily whipping small balls of water at the numerous heartless that weren’t immediately visible to other ponies, and using watery whips to pull the legs out from under others, or to drag back a pony who had overextended. All the while she was humming a familiar tune, usually accompanied by a number of animated broomsticks.
“Well well well,” Sora muttered, smirking down at the happy blue figure. “I thought those colors looked familiar. I wonder if ours survived on the other side?”
“One more thing to look into when the mirror opens, I suppose,” Luna muttered. “Ah, here we are.” She landed in the castle courtyard where Sol was talking with Alex. “It would seem that the threat has passed, brother.”
“For now,” Sol agreed. He smiled at Alex. “Thank you for helping us in this hour of need.”
“No problem.” Alex transformed his rifle back into a keyblade. Noting the look on Sora’s face, he blinked. “What?”
“It’s just, I had no idea that keyblades could do that,” Sora explained. “I mean, I’ve got hundreds, thousands of keyblades at my disposal, but I never knew they could transform like that. Which game is that from?”
Alex chuckled, resting the blade on his shoulder. “I got sent to Equestria around three weeks before KH3 finally hit the shelves. Keyblade transformations were the main selling point of the combat. Well, that and finally resolving everything with Xehanort.”
“Three, huh?” Sora sighed and shook his head. “That explains it, then. All I got to play before being shipped out here were One, Two, CoM, and 358. I have some vague memories of trailers for Birth By Sleep, but that’s about it.”
“Which means you’re missing out on a ton of info about everything.” Alex shook his head. “Okay then, crash history course starting with the Keyblade war.”
Sora held up his hands, shaking his head. “Thanks, but I think I’m good. Whatever happened in later games, if it hasn’t shown up here in the last three thousand years, I doubt it’ll start up now. I’ve got enough on my plate with just the normal heartless. Although,” he eyed Alex’s keyblade, “I wouldn’t mind learning how to do those ‘transformations.’ Are they for every keyblade, or just certain ones?”
“Every keyblade in KH3 had two but I think the Kingdom Key only had one,” Alex explained before getting a stern look on his face. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t think they’ll show up, this is stuff you need to know. Like the X-blade.”
Sora sighed, but nodded. “Fine, fine. Learning it all will probably just bring trouble crashing down on my head later, but go ahead; lay it on me.”
“I believe I shall take my leave, then,” Luna said. “Much as the tales of your ‘games’ fascinate me, I must find the ranking officers of the guard and begin putting together strategies for the next time we face such an incursion.” She nodded to Alex. “It was a pleasure to meet you, young lady.” Without another word, she took off into the sky and shot away over the city.
Alex groaned, pinching his nose. “Alright, you sticking around for class, fire guy, or is it just human time?”
“Unfortunately, I must depart as well,” Sol replied. “My student will need to know what has happened, and Fancy Pants will need further instruction regarding his newfound duty.” He gave Alex a kindly smile. “I still believe you should speak with your Fluttershy about what you went through back on Earth. Bottling it up and trying to ignore it will only make things worse. Remember, you have friends all around you.” He spread his wings and rose into a hover. “Oh, and Sora? Alex was a male before he came to his Equestria. Yes, you will be hearing plenty about it in the near future and for many centuries to come.” Letting out a hearty chuckle, Solaris flew off to find his student.
Sora stared at Alex for a moment before groaning and burying his face in his palm. “Great. I can hear it now. ‘You never really looked at mares other than my sister. Was it really because of their species, or do you still have your old preferences?’ ‘Oh Sora, I decided that you should stop suppressing your feminine side; here’s a dress with frills.’ I’m going to be hearing this until the end of time.”
“Better than being told to go to sleep every time you miss a detail because you were tuning out the plotter that got you in trouble in the first place.” Sonata quipped as she carefully landed near the two of them and took a long drink from a levitated ball of water. “I mean, I know I’m a ditz, but I’m not stupid.”
“Good with a scythe too, if memory serves,” Sora said, grinning. “What do you say? Up for a spar?”
“We’re already doing something,” Alex remind, poking at Sora’s arm. “And you have no place to talk; you’re not the one dealing with having said female body. Or need I remind you what happens every month?” Alex’s face flushed, though he had a deadly serious look on it.
Sora returned his serious stare with a blank one. “Every month? Sorry, but I’ve got no idea.”
“Oh, I know, it used to be called the ‘moon presence’ back when my sisters and I were first dropped on the other side of the mirror by a certain bearded idiot. That was kinda rough getting used to. Aria made a mint once the right materials came around for truly disposable sanitation.”
“Other side of the mirror?” Sora questioned. “So it’s a human thing?” He shrugged. “Yeah, just about everything about humans and Earth except the games has fled my mind over the last few millennia. Women's’ health issues were probably one of the first things to go since, you know, ponies.”
“Then I feel no need to enlighten you,” Alex said, taking a seat on the edge of the roof. “We’ll start simple. Keyblade war. Once there was the Master of Masters and his apprentices. Each was known as a foreteller and carried a copy of the book of prophecy and given control over a group of keyblade wielders called Unions. Despite their best efforts, the unions began to covet light and engaged in an apocalyptic keyblade war that destroyed the world and sent Kingdom Hearts into the realm of darkness.”
Sora frowned, crossing his arms. “Well, that answers a few questions. Mostly about Triton and why the Door to Darkness was in the World That Never Was. Continue.”
“The war shattered the X-blade, the key to Kingdom Hearts. Seven shards of light, thirteen of darkness.” Holding his keyblade up, he swung it at the air. “All keyblades are mere copies of it.”
“Seven Princesses and Organization Thirteen,” Sora muttered. “No surprises there.”
“Not the princesses, just seven pure lights. As for Org 13, the original goal was to hook them all up to a version of Kingdom Hearts and implant shards of Xehanort’s heart into them. After they were eliminated, Xehanort used time travel to bring versions of himself from throughout time to be his thirteen seekers of darkness. He almost made Sora his 13th.”
“...time travel.” Sora sighed. “The games got weird, didn’t they?”
“Next bit’s about you, specifically.” Alex leveled his keyblade at him. “The only reason Sora was even chosen to wield a keyblade is because he already carried the heart of a keyblade wielder inside of him. It’s the reason he could dual wield. You have two hearts; your own and Ventus’s.”
“Ventus?” Sora thought for a moment before speaking again. “Isn’t… isn’t he one of the main characters from BBS? How’d his heart get into Sora?”
“It’s a very long story but the gist of it is, you have his heart. If, for whatever reason, a guy tries to take it; stop him. If he gets it, he can reunite it with the other half of Ven’s heart and recreate the X-Blade,” Alex said, lowering his arm. “You don’t want that to happen.”
“If you say so,” Sora said, looking down at his chest. “Although, I’m not entirely sure that any of that applies to me. I’m honestly not sure how faithful this world is to the lore of the games. I mean, I haven’t seen any evidence of Kingdom Hearts while I’ve been here. Heck, I haven’t even seen any sign of a keyhole to the heart of Equestria. Spent the first couple centuries after we got the Keyblade Army up and running going around looking for it. And I’d think that Luna would have noticed someone else in my psyche. Then again,” he shrugged, “I’ve never tried using heartsight on myself. Might be something worth looking into.”
“Did you check the Crystal Empire? I mean, back in our homeworld it apparently up and vanished for over a thousand years according to my reading to catch up on history, and Celestia practically allowed it to slip out of all known records, including her private lessons to personal students according to Twilight.”
Sora grit his teeth but nodded. “Yeah, I checked. Both before and after Sombra tore it out of normal timespace. Nothing there.” His scowl morphed into a contemplative frown. “Now that I think about it, his curse should be wearing off any year now…”
Alex blinked. “Oh. You’re behind me in time. Huh. Okay, well, that’s unexpected. Back on topic, given all those keyblade wielders, do you know the inheritance ceremony?”
“Was it in any of the four games I mentioned?” Sora shrugged again. “It doesn’t sound familiar. If it’s what it sounds like, then we’ve never needed it. A keyblade just appears if you’re worthy of it. Those with particularly strong hearts get unique blades tailored to their expertise. I’ve taken to referring to those as ‘masters’ for simplicity’s sake.”
“Nah man. If you’re a master, you have to know it.” Standing up, Alex held out his keyblade. “You find someone you think is worthy and offer your key to them. As you do, you recite the following: In your hand, take this key. So long as you have the makings, then through this simple act of taking, its wielder you shall one day be. And you will find me friend- no ocean can contain you then. No borders around, or below, or above, so long as you champion the ones you love.’ then you pass it off and if it doesn’t come back immediately, the key thinks they’re worthy too.”
Sora stared blankly for a moment. “...I’d accuse you of making that up, but only the Kingdom Hearts games could be that unbelievably corny.” He sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve certainly never used that ceremony, and none of my masters or wielders ever mentioned anything about it. Maybe it’s one of those things that didn’t carry over into this world?”
“Maybe,” Alex conceded, looking at Sora critically. “So... you wanna learn how to do the transformations, huh?”
“Oh! Oh! Does this mean I get to make practice targets? I like doing that, and Xemmy said it’d help improve my concentration!” Sonata actually pranced in place in midair for a bit, flinging small water droplets everywhere.
“Xemmy?” Sora eyed Sonata, suddenly wary. “That… wouldn’t be short for Xemnas, would it?”
“Yeah, it does, he’s another one like us,” Alex explained before poking Sora with the tip of his blade. “How about a deal then? I show you how to do the transformations and you help me get magic threads that let me do drive forms.”
Sora waved him off. “Yeah yeah, sure. New blade tricks and power-ups. Now what’s this about ‘another one like us?’ Just how many people have been yanked out of our world and stuck into an Equestria?”
“Somewhere between hundreds and thousands, if not an infinite number according to Sarah. Supposedly she and her sister were borderline psychics even before they were displaced, so multiverse theory applies to Earth as well.”
Sora’s jaw dropped. “Th-thousands?” His knees gave out and he dropped to the ground, staring off into space as he sat there, stunned. “Thousands. Thousands of others. All this time, I thought…” He shook his head. “Sorry. Sorry. It’s just, dude, other than the other side of the mirror portal, you’re the only other human I’ve seen since I was snatched up. Why… why did it take so long for one of you to show up?”
“I don’t know, I honestly don’t,” Alex responded, shaking his head. “I’ve only been like this for a few months. I don’t have any answers for you.”
“...I’ll bet you have one at least.” Sora reached into his pocket and pulled out the Thallassa shell. “This thing. I heard your voice when I held it, and you appeared when I asked it for help. What is it?”
“Oh, that’s a token. You find an item that best exemplifies you and put a message into it. Then you cast it into the void for others to find.”
“Best exemplifies me, huh?” Without hesitation, Sora summoned his Kingdom Key. He looked it over for a moment before tearing off the keychain. The blade vanished, but the chain remained in his hand. “And a message…” Sora thought for a minute before nodding and clearing his throat, his hand beginning to glow. “I am the Warrior of Light, enemy of darkness and all who walk within. If you find yourself trapped by the shadows and cannot find the light, call on my name, the name of Sora, and I will answer.” The keychain vanished, leaving Sora staring at his now-empty hand. “Huh. Almost like dismissing the blade.”
“I had a lot of help with mine...” Alex snapped his fingers, pointing at Sora. “Right, almost forgot. Rage form. Sora gets rage form in KH3.”
“Rage form?” Sora smirked. “Heh, I might already have that. That’s what Sol calls it when I rain death from the skies on him after a particularly nasty prank.” Leaping to his feet, Sora donned his cocky grin. “Well, guess we should get started on those power swaps. Although, I do have one more question. You mentioned someone called ‘Celestia,’ someone who, unless I misunderstood, has been around for a long time in your Equestria. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone by that name.”
“She’s the female version of your Luna’s brother. Oh, look at that, now you have tease-back ammo!” Sonata chirped.
Sora grinned, his face positively demonic. “Noted. Now, about those transformations…”
Alex snapped again, patting at his coat. “Right! Okay, so, Kingdom Key doesn’t have any transformations that I know of but-aha!” Smirking, he produced a tablet from his pocket. “It does have something called ‘Second form’.” Tapping away at the screen, he held it out to Sora. “Take a look. You’ll even get a peek at Sora’s KH 3 outfit.”
Sora stared at the tablet for a moment before taking it. “Wow,” he whispered, looking the device over. “Earth tech. It’s been quite a while.” He took a look at the image on the screen. He tapped it once and had to fight not to jump as the image started to move. Video, he thought. It really has been too long. “Interesting,” he muttered, watching the Sora on the screen. “But I’m not really seeing anything too special about this. I mean, I’m modeled after KH2 Sora anyway.”
“Right, okay then.” Alex took it back, slipping it into his cloak. “It’s not important. Just tell me something, do you know what Limit Form is?” Sora nodded. “Right. Okay then. Let’s do something about those transformations.”
“Sounds good,” Sora replied. “Your form first, or my blades?”
“Blades, we can talk to Rarity about the clothes later,” Alex said, smiling at him. “So, let’s get started.”
Sora nodded. “Alright. Which blade first?”
“I think a better question would be if the two of you even have any keyblades in common. I mean, if Alex’s the first other person you’ve seen in centuries that isn’t a pony, then what are the odds that you have any he has?” Sonata rolled her eyes and gently tossed a ball of water that bounced off of Sora’s hair without splashing.
“It’s not about having the same keyblades, it’s about helping him figure out how to turn his into stuff,” Alex commented, patting Sonata’s head. “Just don’t ask me how to turn it into a glider. Haven’t figured that one out yet.”
“I see,” Sora muttered, holding out his hand. He hesitated for a minute. “There is… one blade. One that I’ve always felt should be something other than a sword.” In a flash of light, a keyblade appeared in his hand. Its shaft was a deep, dark purple with black and green vines twining around it. The hilt was a light purple in another vine design, and the blade featured a wicked looking curve which was stained blood red. The keychain featured a cracked flower. “Pansy’s blade always felt like it should be… something else.”
“And what do you think that other thing is?” Alex questioned, studying the blade. “Gimme an idea here.”
“It’s always been obvious,” Sora whispered. “For such a gentle mare, she was fierce and precise on the battlefield. She earned her blade’s name with every fight: Reaper. It always seemed to me that she should wield a scythe rather than a sword.”
“You mean like this?” Alex focused, the key in his hand transmogrifying into what looked like a bone scythe with a blade formed of the same purple energy that glowed from every joint. “Haven’t used it a lot yet.”
Sora hummed, studying the scythe intently. “Hold on a moment.” He stepped back, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, they had been replaced by two glowing orbs of light. “Okay,” he said, eyes focused on Alex’s chest. “Transform it again.”
“Uh... right...” Alex transitioned it back into its rifle form. “That help at all?”
“Interesting,” Sora muttered, continuing to stare. “One more time.” Alex changed the rifle back into a blade and Sora nodded. “Okay, I think I’ve got it.” He stepped back and closed his eyes, holding Reaper out before him. A moment of stillness passed before Reaper exploded in a flash of light. What was left behind was an altogether different weapon. The three vines that had made up the shaft and guard now spiraled together, forming a serpentine curve. The blood-red blade had lengthened, forming the weapon into a formidable scythe. Sora opened his eyes, now back to normal, and smiled at the weapon. “Oh yeah,” he said, twirling it around his body a few times. “That feels more like it!” He brought Reaper to a rest with the tip of the blade hovering directly over a crack in the stones beneath them. “Perfect balance, and it practically sings as it tears the air to shreds in its wake. This… this is the blade that Pansy was meant to use.”
“Well, uh, glad I could help.” Alex gave a thumbs up. “Gonna be super impractical to use though. It’s why they only ever used hand scythes in battle.”
Sora shook his head, entering a more relaxed stance as he smiled down at the blade. “Doesn’t matter,” he said tenderly, almost reverently. “It’s… it’s how her blade should be. How she would have wanted…” He sighed, the smile falling from his face. “Sorry,” he said, dismissing the weapon. “You don’t need to hear about that.” He frowned up at Alex. “And on a related note, get some help. Your heart is full of old pain and horrible scars. If you don’t get them treated, they could fester. Luna should be a good option, although I wouldn’t say no to a professional therapist either if I were you.”
Alex tightened his grip on his keyblade. “Thanks but I think I’m doing just fine as it is, thank you very much. If it bothers you so much, it should cool your jets to know I usually talk to Discord about that stuff.”
“WHAT?!” Reaper reappeared in the air along with two other blades. The three of them began to orbit angrily around Sora while Ultima and Fenrir appeared in his hands. “THAT PHYSICAL IDENTITY COMPLEX IS LOOSE IN YOUR WORLD?! AND YOU GO TO HIM FOR LIFE ADVICE?!”
“Why wouldn’t I? Dude’s basically my step-dad. Fluttershy’s a good listener but I can’t be completely open with her.” Dismissing his keyblade, Alex met Sora’s furious gaze. “Say what you want but I already told this to fire man, I wish he had been in my life the first time round.”
“Is it just me, or has he gone all bear-poop both times we’ve mentioned a friend? Should we be worried that we’re helping bad people, or that we are bad people? I don’t wanna be bad again, I didn’t like hurting people without a good reason!” Sonata wailed while moving closer to Alex.
Sora took a deep, steadying breath before letting it out slowly, dismissing his blades. “Sorry,” he muttered. “We literally just finished sealing Discord in stone again before those heartless attacked. If your Discord is good enough to wander without a leash, he must be rather different from ours. As for you, Sonata…” Sora blinked his eyes back to glowing orbs for just a moment. “You have nothing to worry about. There isn’t a trace of true malevolence in you that isn’t directed against those who would hurt those you care about. Stick to good company and you’ll be fine. I only reacted poorly to Xemnas because I didn’t know that he was like me and Alex.”
“You need to worry about your anger problems,” Alex commented, scratching Sonata’s ear. “Anyway, let’s stop by fashion horse’s house and get me some clothes.”
“Oh, that won’t be necessary,” Sora said, all weightiness gone from his tone as he smirked at Alex. “There’s only one thing we need to get you some drive forms.” He held out his hand again and summoned another keyblade. This one was pure black except for the red guard. The teeth were jagged and formed a heart design in the center. “Recognize this baby? ‘Open the door; lead me into everlasting darkness,’ and all that jazz.”
“You do realize that thing only existed because it was made from stolen hearts, right?” Alex questioned, eyeing it closely. “Whose hearts are making it now?”
Sora sighed and shook his head. “To be honest, I’ve been wondering that for years. Tried summoning it one day on a whim about, oh, three hundred years into my time here. And there it was, full and complete. If I had to guess, it would be the seven hearts of the first heartless victims in this world.” He frowned. “When I first made that guess, I tried to destroy it. Unfortunately, keyblades are pretty darn solid, and the only way I knew from the games was too risky. Useful blade, though. I don’t have anything else that can directly affect people’s hearts.”
“They really aren’t that hard to break, Riku’s breaks in three and he gets a new one. Back on topic, what exactly are you going to do with that thing?”
“Simple,” Sora replied cheerfully, pointing it straight at Alex’s chest. “I’m going to unlock your heart and teach it directly how to get in touch with the power that sleeps within.” He shrugged. “I mean, I could train and tutor you in reaching into your own heart for the next ten years or so, but who has that kind of time? And since we don’t have any magical fairies here to make magical heart-touching clothes, or any drive orbs for that matter, this is the only sure and fast way that I know of.”
“Alex, I’m not so sure this is a good idea…” Sonata was quite subdued, a far cry from her normally bubbly self. “I mean, your mom was telling me about some things you told her because she knows I don’t really judge…”
“You don’t have to go through with this if you don’t want to,” Sora added. “But I can promise you that you’ll be fine. I’ve done this before on a few ponies, one of whom had a good amount of darkness in his heart. I know how to unlock some things and leave others untouched.” He frowned, suddenly serious. “However, I will warn you that that one pony had a Shadow Form that almost equaled mine in power, and that’s no mean feat. If you continue to hold significant darkness in your heart, then when the Shadow Form slips out, I can’t guarantee what it will do.”
Staring at the keyblade, he glanced down at Sonata. “What do you think? Should I take the chance?”
Sonata seemed to be kneading some of her wet mane between her hooves, almost as if she were trying to run fingers through it despite having hooves currently. “I-I don’t know. You could end up with dresses or something you’re not really ready for, like that slinky black one you were wearing the first time I saw you, and you looked both uncomfortable and happy…”
Sora suddenly blushed and looked away. “Yay it,” he muttered. “Now I’m going to have to deal with cute human girls again sometimes, aren’t I? Can’t tell if that’s a plus or a minus.”
“Ya, I know, I’m a screwed up ball of thoughts and emotions. I’m still trying to wrap my head around that stuff I talked to Sarah about.” Kneeling down, he pulled her into a hug. “Be honest with me here, okay?”
“You should do it... but if it gives you things you’re not comfortable with don’t blame me. Um... um... how would a smart pony phrase this? ‘Ask yourself why you aren’t comfortable?’ Yeah, I think that sounds like what your mother would say.”
Alex scoffed, shaking his head. “I’m just supposed to answer that off the top of my head?” Turning to Sora, he nodded. “Go ahead. Let’s do this.”
Sora nodded and aimed the blade straight at Alex’s chest. “Stay calm,” he said. “This is going to feel… weird.” Without another word, he thrust forward.
The blade pierced Alex’s chest, a portal of swirling light and shadow forming around the point of impact. Alex gasped, a strange presence filling his chest.
“Interesting.” Sora’s voice sounded in his ears, but Alex also heard them coming from inside of him. “The light within you, it coalesces differently. Different emotions. Different… drives. Let’s start with this one.”
Fear. Anger. Desperation. These emotions flooded Alex’s heart. Not fear for himself, but fear for others. It wasn’t a feeling of cowardice, but one of protection, a desperate fending off of an unstoppable foe.
“Those emotions most dark,” Sora said, his eyes glowing, “are yet channeled to the light. A desire to protect, to strengthen, even against impossible odds. Your friends stand by you, and lend you… STRENGTH.”
A pulse of energy flooded Alex, emanating from his heart. He felt invigorated, powerful.
“Next.”
Bliss. Joy. Excitement. Alex felt like he was soaring through the sky. Plunging to the deepest depths. Racing for the most distant horizons. Freedom surrounded him, within his grasp.
“The world is vast, the horizons endless,” Sora incanted. “Wild and free, your heart carries you to each and beyond. Let your friends fill you with this energy and… AGILITY.”
Another pulse, and Alex felt that he had taken ahold of that freedom.
“Next.”
Giddiness. Happiness. A nervous tightening in his stomach. Alex blushed a bit, recognizing these feelings from those times when he’d felt pretty or feminine.
“Happiness comes in many forms, some as old as your life and others completely unfamiliar. This new happiness carries you in ways that others have not. Could not. It carries you with poise, with calm in the midst of the storm. Your friends will support you, aiding in your quest to understand this… GRACE.”
A third pulse, and Alex felt his blush fade. It was replaced with a calm assurance, a feeling that things, though strange, were alright after all.
“Next.”
Determination. Solid, unyielding, and uncaring of the consequences. Alex felt that he knew what he had to do, and he knew that he would do whatever it took to do it.
Sora frowned. “A difficult path to travel. Balanced upon the edge of a knife, you must be ever watchful, lest this surety lead to as much evil as good. But fear not. Your friends stand by you, and they will help you to see the light. And with their help, none shall steer you from this road. This… TRIAD.”
One final pulse burst through Alex, and all lingering doubt was swept away. It was not just him; the powers that surrounded him knew the righteousness of his course, and he would not falter.
Sora began to slowly pull the blade from Alex’s chest, stopping when only the tip remained inside. “The closer you get to the light, the greater your shadow becomes. These powerful aspects of your heart bring forth great light, but also great shadow. These shadows may control for a time, but don’t be afraid. Remember that it is not the dark that we must fear, but that which lurks inside. Confront the demons within, purge yourself of the corruptors which hide in the darkness, and even the SHADOW will lend you its strength.” With that, Sora ripped the blade from Alex’s chest.
Immediately, Alex’s strength left him. He fell forward onto his hands and knees, gasping for breath and shaking. Sora shook his head, blinking his eyes a few times. “Wow. That was… unique.” He dismissed his blade and offered his hand to Alex. “How’re you feeling, kid?”
“Y-yeah...” Alex nodded weakly. With a shaky hand, he took Sora’s and pulled himself up to his feet. “N-never doing that... again...”
“I’d imagine not.” Sora smirked. “I’ve never had to go through it myself, but everypony I’ve done that with has said it was the strangest feeling of their life. Still, it’s unusual to find someone with four completely different forms than the standard. Most I’ve ever seen was two. Honestly, I can’t even tell what colors your forms are going to take.”
“Guess we’ll just have to wait and see huh?” Alex asked, his legs faltering. “God, I’m tired...” Swaying a little, he leaned on Sonata. “Feel like I could sleep for a week.”
Sonata squeaked a little at the lean and staggered for a moment before steadying herself to support Alex. A few moments later she had a pair of crude watery arms shaped to give him a hug as well as keep him a little more steady. “You okay? Should we get you some coffee, or something sweet to drink?” Her voice had more than a hint of worry to it, since they were rather high up still.
“Meditation will help,” Sora offered, moving to support Alex’s other side. “Your fatigue isn’t physical; your heart’s been thrown into a new balance, one it’s still adjusting to. Give yourself a little downtime to sort it out.” He looked towards the edge of the roof and grinned mischievously. “Say, you trust me, right?”
“Ugh, meditation. You sound like Queen Ron-” Sonata cut herself off with a nervous giggle as Sora continued talking. “Sorry.”
“If I say yes, are you gonna do something crazy?” Alex questioned, scratching Sonata’s ears.
“Not at all,” Sora replied. “Just a little help for you to get more in touch with your… feminine grace.” Without warning, he scooped Alex up bridal style and bolted for the edge. “Cowabunga!” he shouted, leaping off.
“You dick!” Alex shouted, latching onto Sora rather tightly.
Sora just laughed. “That’s not very ladylike language there! Hey Clover! Give us a hoof here!” A keyblade appeared over Sora’s shoulder, pointing down. Its silver shaft was curved in opposite directions at either end. Two feather-like shapes formed the slightly darker guard which was studded with small emeralds. At the end of the dangling keychain was a four-leaf clover, an ugly crack running through the center. “Aerora!”
A gust of wind kicked up underneath them just as they were about to land, slowing their fall and placing Sora gently down on his feet. “There now,” he said, grinning as the wind and his keyblade dissipated. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
Four clops followed by a wet splash against the back of Sora’s head announced Sonata’s descent as well. “You put Alex down right now! That was so dangerous and I...I…” Her approaching hoofsteps grew unsteady quickly. “I need a drink. Everything’s spinning suddenly.”
Alex pushed himself out of Sora’s arms, groaning as he hit the ground. “Shit, we need to get her to water. Now!”
Sora frowned and nodded, summoning the keyblade from before, along with Wishing Star, to his hands. “I usually reserve this for pranks,” he muttered. He pointed both blades above Sonata. “Fira. Blizara.” A ball of ice formed above Sonata, a ring of fire springing to life around it and quickly melting it. Freezing cold water splashed down, soaking the transformed siren below. “Is that enough?” Sora asked, dismissing his blades. “There are probably some pretty big bathtubs inside if not.”
“It’s...a start.” Sonata groaned as she tried to walk towards the castle. “I should know better, my fault. I’m gonna need to drink a few gallons.” Her gait was similar to someone who was very drunk.
“Come on, you can’t get there by yourself.” Pushing himself up, Alex made his way over to her. “Don’t make me carry you.”
“I can do it,” Sora offered. “I’m the one who made her waste her water, after all.”
“Then get to it.” Alex stepped aside, gesturing to Sonata. “And don’t take all day!”
Sora nodded, stepping forward and scooping Sonata into his arms. “Relax. I’ve got you,” he said, rushing inside the castle. He quickly bounded up the main staircase before turning left and running down a wide hall. “And you didn’t need to worry about Alex,” Sora said, smirking down at the siren in his arms. “Even if that hadn’t worked, and it’s never failed before, it would have been me taking the brunt of the damage. Nothing a quick Curaga wouldn’t have been able to heal, and Alex wouldn’t have even needed that.”
Sonata’s ears almost seemed to curl in on themselves briefly, but she offered a weak and pained smile in response. “That’s sweet, but you don’t know how hard it is to not worry about a child you’re told to protect.”
Sora frowned, his eyes going distant for a moment. “Believe me, Sonata,” he muttered. “I do.” He stopped at a fancy looking door with an intricate carving of a dog on it and kicked it open, revealing a luxurious suite full of gold-plated and gem-studded furniture. “Ha! I was right!” He rushed through the suite, heading for the back. “This it the room they use whenever we have Diamond Dogs visiting. One floor up, so it’s just high enough off the ground to make them uncomfortable. Enough gold and gemstones in here to make them wring their ears with envy. And if Sol is as much of a troll as I remember…” He kicked open another door and they were immediately hit by a large cloud of steam. “Yep, full bath with tons of different soaps and shampoos just waiting for them. Enjoy your swim!” He darted into the room, a large bath - or perhaps a small pool - appearing through the thinning mist. He stopped right at the pool’s edge and tossed Sonata gently into the deep end.
She simply vanished into the water with only a tiny splash, and remained under for a few seconds before her head popped up to lay on the edge for a bit. “Warm, but wet. I’m just gonna stay here for a while and soak, I think. Set a guard or something to help me find you guys. Oh, and sorry if I pulled up any bad memories. Mom used to tell me I’d swallow my own fins if I opened my mouth any wider.”
Sora smiled sadly before bending down to pat Sonata on the head. “Sonata, I’ve been around for three thousand years. Just about everything pulls up a bad memory if I let it. You have nothing to apologize for; you’re concerned for your charge, and that’s admirable. Don’t worry. He’ll be safe in my hands until you’re ready to return to your vigil.” He stood, giving her one last nod before departing.
He looked around as he exited the suite, quickly finding a guard and explaining the situation to him before setting him to watch the suite. He then headed back the way he’d come, looking for Alex.
“I already told the both of you that I’m not a child and I’m not lost,” Alex’s voice carried through the halls. “If one of you mentions finding my parents again, we’re going to have a problem.”
Sora sighed, rounding the corner and finding Alex arguing with two guards on the staircase. “Really, boys?” he asked, sticking his hands in his pockets. “You see another human, the only other human besides me, and your first instinct isn’t to take him to me?” He nodded to Alex. “Sonata’s going to be fine. I left her in a huge tub with plenty of water and a guard watching over her. You alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine... just... tired,” Alex responded, letting out a long sigh. “I would use a nap or something like that.” He suppressed a yawn, swaying a little. “Got anywhere I could lie down?”
Sora smirked. “It just so happens that I put Sonata in one of the best, most comfortably furnished suites in the castle. I’m sure they have a most luxurious bed. Sized about right for humans, too.” He turned and nodded to the guards. “I’ll take him from here. Go and tell Prince Solaris and Princess Luna where we are.” The guards gave a quick salute before rushing off deeper into the castle.
“Lead the way, one of spiky hair,” Alex insisted, motioning for Sora to start walking. “I’d rather not pass out on cold marble, thank you very much.”
Sora chuckled and began leading Alex back towards the Diamond Dog suite. “It’s funny, this room,” he said. “It was the same way in the old Everfree castle. Diamond Dogs hate being off the ground, so Sol made sure to put their suite exactly one floor up. High enough to make them uncomfortable, but not high enough for them to call it a slight. He also made sure it was highly decorated for two reasons: first, to make everyone else, especially the nobles, jealous, and two, to show off that, however much the Dogs hoarded, they would never equal him in wealth. He also filled it with all of the greatest comforts, knowing that they prefer hard, cold surfaces. So the Dogs are pissed off because they have to stay in a room ill-suited to them, and the nobles and other dignitaries are miffed because we’re apparently showering the Diamond Dogs, our least valuable ally, in luxury. A great prank on everyone, and he barely has to do a thing.” He nodded to the posted guard as they passed and opened the door to the suite. “And just as I’d guessed, he hasn’t changed his trolling a bit.”
“That sounds like terrible foreign policy,” Alex commented, putting his hands in his pockets. “Haven’t met a Diamond Dog back home. Apparently, they kidnapped Rarity a few years back and forced her to dig up gems for them.”
Sora snorted and nodded. “Yeah, sounds like them. You understand then why we aren’t too worried about appeasing them. Besides, minor slights like these aren’t enough to really cause trouble. They’re just enough for Sol to have a bit of fun.” Sora’s mirthful manner faded, his tone growing more somber. “Especially since everyone knows the importance of good international relations. They know better than to take something like this too seriously. If any nation were to harbor widespread hostility or, Elysium forbid, go to war, most of their population wouldn’t survive the wave of darkness that would follow.” Sora sighed and smiled sadly at Alex. “It’s a peace held together with knives to our throats, but we make do. And apparently the habits of working together stuck if we’ve had peace for the last thousand years, even without the heartless swarming around.”
“Wow, that shitty set up reminds me of Zesteria and Berseria. No offense but uh, I don’t think I’d want to live here.” Alex yawned again, making his way over to the bed. “Only thing close to a war my world has come to is when Chrysalis tried to take over Canterlot, followed by Tirek stealing everyone’s magic. I got this second-hand though. Wasn’t there for either event.”
Sora frowned, making a mental note of the names. “I’ll have to look into that. But for now, get some rest. Meditate when you wake up, and then we can work on pulling out your drive forms.” He turned and headed for the door. “If you need anything, ask the guard outside. Sleep well, Alex.”
“Yeah, thanks.” Taking his coat off, he tossed it on a nearby chair. Leaving his shoes next to the bed, he made sure to get comfy. “Feel free to talk to Sonata while I’m out of it...” he trailed off, already snoring away.
“She’s still awake?” Sora muttered. He stuck his head into the bathroom, surprised to find the siren swimming around. “I thought you’d be resting,” he said, sitting down at the edge of the pool.
“I am resting!” Sonata smiled, splashing a bit of water at him without levitating it “Besides, I have to stay awake to keep an eye on Alex.” Peeking around Sora, she smiled at Alex’s snores. “He was certainly tired.”
Sora shrugged, leaning back and staring at the ceiling. “Yeah, having someone else dig through your heart will wipe you out for a bit. Younger ponies generally take it better, since their hearts are still in flux anyway. Adults aren’t as flexible. If I needed any evidence that Alex is older than he seemed, that was it.” He frowned. “I’m worried about the amount of darkness in there, though. He’s a good kid, and his heart is strong with lots of barriers keeping the darkness at bay, but I’m worried about what happens if something breaks through those barriers.”
“I wouldn’t be too worried about that.” Sonata giggled, sticking her tongue out. “My sisters and I eat all those bad emotions! They aren’t quite as tasty as they used to be, but we’re also not creating them to cater to our specific tastes anymore.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Sometimes his nightmares taste like tacos. I love tacos. I feel kinda bad eating them sometimes when I’m nowhere near as hungry as I used to be, but if it helps him...”
Sora hummed a bit in thought. “I’ll have to look into that when the portal opens. See if our versions of you and your sisters are willing to give us a hoof.” Sora sighed and shook his head. “Assuming they haven’t fallen completely into darkness. Them, or even that entire world.”
“Just don’t bring up Starswirl when you go over. Aria still gets a look like she wants to punch Twilight whenever she brings him up.” Sonata frowned and idly swatted the side of the pool a few times. “Even I’m still a little angry about it, but never getting to see your mother again will do that.”
Sora frowned and turned his gaze back down to Sonata. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said. “It’s… the difficult part of immortality.” He shrugged. “And crossing dimensions, I assume. I think I remember crying for almost a month when I first realized I’d never see Earth again.”
“I wonder if your sirens were overfeeding for the same reason we were?”
Sora tilted his head questioningly. “Oh? I know that mine were bent on world conquest as some sort of giant ego trip. I always figured it was the heartless egging them on. I’m guessing it wasn’t so simple for you?”
“Most people don’t know this but, our papa was a pony,” Sonata began, swimming in a circle. “But, he got really, really sick. So sick that our mom’s song was the only thing keeping him alive. She and Adagio used to get into terrible fights because Dagi didn’t think mom was doing enough.”
“...and you were trying to get enough power to help boost her song and heal him completely.”
“Yeah.” Sonata nodded her head, floating on her back. “Plus mom was barely saving enough to keep herself alive, so we were worried about losing both of them.”
Sora nodded. “So you made a desperate, mad gamble out of love.” He sighed. “Light, taken to extremes, can be just as harmful as darkness. Guess I can’t really blame you, but I also can’t blame Equestria for retaliating.” he shook his head. “There just wasn’t a way for both sides to win, and you happened to be the side that lost. I’m sorry.”
“Um, you keep talking about darkness like it’s a bad thing,” Sonata pointed out, fixing him with a quizzical look. “But it’s really not. Changelings eat love and can survive off of happiness just like sirens eat all kinds of dark emotions, but guess which ones are bright and colorful, and which ones look like evil bugs.”
Sora shrugged. “You’re right, in a way. It’s a little more complex than ‘light is good, dark is evil.’ But…” Sora turned, glaring off to the side. “Darkness corrupts and consumes. That’s just its nature. Darkness naturally seeks to grow and to consume light. It’s difficult to work with, and even more difficult to actually control. Those that some call the ‘dark races’ actually have an advantage there; they’re naturally resistant to the corrupting influence of darkness. But the problem always arises when one of them gets too ambitious. Too steeped in darkness. Too greedy for power. When they fall, they fall hard. And they usually take everyone in the vicinity with them. When a pony falls to the darkness in her heart, it’s a tragedy. When a changeling falls, it’s an invasion.” He turned back to Sonata, his eyes hard and focused. “That’s why I fight the darkness, Sonata. It’s dangerous. Too dangerous to hope that the world can just manage its own balance. I’ve prevented the destruction of Equestria at the hands of the heartless several times. I’ve never had to put down someone who had too much light.”
“Starswirl had too much light,” Sonata replied softly, staring up at the ceiling. “All he could see when he looked at us was that we were stuffed with darkness, and he wouldn’t listen when I begged to let us go home first. Then Aria landed on me and pushed my face in the mud in the other world, then Adagio landed on her.” Swimming over to the edge of the bath, she sniffled. “I-I remember there was a pony, the only one of that village we didn’t get under our sway. He gathered all those other ponies, including Starswirl. He tried so hard to get us to use our songs for something better. But, Starswirl crushed his hope and made them banish us.”
Sora grunted and nodded. “He always was a stubborn old fool. Too proud to even think that he might be wrong. Most ponies wondered why he never received a keyblade, but that’s because most ponies didn’t know him personally. It was always his apprentice who tried to see better in others.” Sora smiled and reached over, patting Sonata on the head. “Hey, anyone ever tell you that you’re pretty smart?”
“I’m not smart, I’m old. I can’t really figure things out well without help if it’s something completely new, but I don’t have much trouble remembering things that were important to me.”
“Well, that makes you smarter than most people.” Seeing Sonata’s confused look, Sora continued. “Most people forget lessons that they’ve learned. And most people don’t change, especially when they get older. Take Sol, for example. I knew that this suite would be here because he hasn’t changed all that much in the last couple thousand years. He’s still making a lot of the same mistakes, still has most of the same flaws. But you? You’ve learned. You’ve grown. You’ve seen the mistakes and trials of your past and let them change you into someone better. That’s more than most people can say.” He sighed and rubbed the back of his head. “Including me. I… have perhaps a more black-and-white view of light and darkness than I should. And the fact that you were able to draw that confession out of me shows just how much you understand the subject. Honestly, if you were a native to this world, or even if you just stayed a bit longer, you’d get a keyblade for sure.”
Sonata thought for a minute before shaking her head. “Nah, working with water’s cooler, even if overdoing it makes me feel like I drank too much white lightning on a dare...again.” She smiled and closed her eyes while lifting a foreleg out of the water and trying to draw some of the water up along with it. “Xemnas told me I have a lot of natural talent with this, and he wants to see how complex I can get it all by myself. He’s saved a few lives, too.”
“I look forward to meeting him someday,” Sora said. “He sounds like a good guy. Has he been able to help Alex much?”
“Oh, he says he kinda can’t really help Alex the same way he’s helped a few others. He mostly just trains him. Someone’s been going around Equestria and stealing hearts. Xemmy does his best to help the newly formed nobodies find a purpose and a way to feel normal.
Sora froze, his face going pale. “...he helps who?”
“The nobodies,” Sonata repeated. “The latest one we found was that poor zebra.”
Sora stared off into space. His eyes were vacant, glassy. He stood suddenly, turning halfway to the door before stopping. “But, they haven’t…” He began pacing, muttering to himself. “But why not… just that world? But then could they… is it the world or… would an open portal… did I ever check…” His pacing grew more and more agitated, his face more and more panicked. “They could be… would we even… HOW would we…”
“Umm, Sora? Could you calm down? It’s not like the nobodies on our world are going to go around and do bad things to other worlds just because they did in your game. Alex started worrying about the same kind of thing before we sat down and had a chat with Xemnas, Ahuizotl, and Twilight.”
“It’s not about that!” Sora shouted, turning his panicked gaze to Sonata. “Nobodies don’t exist here! Whatever the BUYSOMEAPPLES MERCHANT did to this world when he brought me here, Nobodies weren’t included. But now? Now, for some reason, this world is open to others like me! What if that means that more changes are coming? What if nobodies suddenly exist now?! What if they…” Sora trailed off, his eyes still pointed at Sonata but now seeing something else. “What if they… what?”
He returned to pacing, far calmer this time. “What would they even be after? Kingdom Hearts doesn’t exist here; I would have sensed a change as fundamental as that. Which means they have no reason to seek it. Which means they have no reason to unleash heartless upon people. No hearts means no envy or spite, so they have no reason to just randomly attack people either. If they do exist… what would they even do? What would they even want?”
“Oh um, do you really know about nobodies?” Sonata asked, watching him pace. “Nobodies can make new hearts! They just have to form bonds with other people and grow a new one!”
Sora halted in his tracks and turned to stare at Sonata. “...form new hearts.” He began pacing again. “358… Axel did say… fans did speculate… I might remember something about…” He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Well, no, it does, but that’s not urgent. If they do exist…” He sighed and sat back down, still staring off into space. “If they do exist, then they aren’t a threat. They have no reason to attack anyone. No reason to aid the heartless. They’re just… there.”
“And one more thing!” Sonata reached her hoof out and poked his nose. “If you destroy both the heartless and the nobody, the original reappears!”
Sora glared at Sonata, opening his mouth to snap at her. He stopped at the last second, his eyes going wide as he stared at her. “...not a soldier.” He groaned and leaned back, glaring at the ceiling. “I just went all ‘General Sora’ on you, didn’t I? I was about to shout at you for booping a superior officer.” He sighed and shook his head before looking back at her. “The original person reappears?”
“Uh huh! But I guess the trouble would be how would a nobody know when they’ve destroyed their heartless?”
Sora nodded. “That is tricky. I can do it, sometimes, but it’s tricky.” He shook his head again. “Anyway, that’s a topic for another time. Like, say, if we discover that nobodies even exist in this Equestria. The issue might not even come up.”
Sonata yawned and sank back slightly into the tub. Her eyes closed for a moment and she shook her head to clear it. “Mmm, this water’s nice and relaxing. Maybe you should see about getting Alex’s training set up while the two of us rest a bit more?”
Sora nodded and looked back at the main room where Alex was napping. “I’ll do that. Got to check in and see how the rest of the city’s doing anyway.” He started heading for the door, waving over his shoulder as he did so. “Let the guard know if you need anything.”
A couple of hours passed, hours that Sora spent running from place to place, seeing to the needs of the castle and the citizens of Canterlot. Many ponies had fallen to the heartless’ assault, and many more were unaccounted for. The guard was quickly reorganized, the citizens who had found themselves in possession of keyblades promptly volunteering their aid. Sora and Luna set them to training while Sol inducted Fancy Pants into the guard at the rank of Sergeant. Patrols were organized, emergency repairs were begun, and Sora finally found himself standing in one of Canterlot Castle’s courtyards with Fancy, Alex, and Sonata.
“Right,” Sora said, looking over the people before him. “First things first. Any specific questions?”
Alex raised his hand. “Yeah, Sarge, how do I get out of this chicken shit outfit?”
Sonata giggled in response. “I saw that movie.”
“I didn’t.” Sora shook his head before turning to Fancy. “Did Sol explain everything to you?”
Fancy nodded. “More or less. Though he was a touch vague in describing how to use the keyblade for magic.” He held his blade aloft in his telekinesis, examining it closely. “He said it was similar to channeling through a horn, but with the horn detached.”
Sora facepalmed and groaned. “Right, first lesson: never accept keyblade advice from the Solar Idiot.”
“I know a few base level spells,” Alex began, petting Sonata’s head. “Poison, Confuse, Sleep, Balloon. Can’t wait to be OP as hell with Ballonra.”
“Those are some new ones on me,” Sora admitted, summoning Oathkeeper and pointing it skyward. “Sound useful, though. Still, I think I prefer the classics like firaga.” A massive ball of fire shot straight up from the tip of the blade, reaching the height of the castle’s spires before exploding.
“Nah dude, Balloon is the most broken spell in the damn series,” Alex argued, summoning Aubade. “You can cheese just about anything with nothing but Balloonra.”
Sora shrugged. “If you say so. But the fire series will always hold a special place in my heart.” He glared off to the side and mumbled under his breath. “Fight with Maleficent takes freaking hours otherwise.
“In any case,” he smiled up at Fancy, “your blade is specially tuned to Thunder magic, a series of spells - thunder, thundara, and thundaga - which rain down lightning around your targets. They’re pretty simple to use, too. Just point your blade straight up, call out the incantation, and imagine lighting striking down upon your foe. It helps if you fill your heart with excitement and anticipation; thunder reacts to those emotions the best.” He threw his arms wide, his grin growing even wider. “Now, hit me with your best shot!”
Fancy stared at Sora for a moment before turning to Alex. “He is jesting, isn’t he?”
“I don’t think so,” Alex said with a shrug. “He probably knows what he’s doing.”
“Make sure you hit him and not me.” Sonata subtly moved a little further away from Sora.
Fancy closed his eyes and hummed to himself, his humming turning from a thoughtful monotone to an upbeat ditty. “At the Gala,” he sang under his breath, his lips twitching upwards. He opened his eyes, grinning in anticipation, and thrust his blade skyward. “Thunder!”
A bolt of lighting shot down out of nowhere, striking Sora and setting him alight. Fancy’s grin faded as the spell did, the mirth in his eyes quickly being replaced by concern. “Oh dear,” he muttered. “Perhaps that was a touch too much anticipation.”
“Not at all,” Sora replied, barely fazed. “That was actually pretty good. Excellent form. The only reason I’m not a smoking piece of charcoal right now is because you didn’t have much power behind it. Give yourself a little bit of practice and you’ll be slinging lightning around with the best of the pegasi.” Sora turned his attention to Alex. “Alright, what’ve you got?”
“Like I said, a few basic spells,” Alex repeated, taking Aubade in both hands. “Just say when.”
Sora raised Oathkeeper defensively and nodded. “When.”
Alex thrust Aubade into the air, the tip swirling with energy. “Zero Gravity!” A pulsing ring appeared around the group, magic filling the space. Each one barring Alex was untethered from the ground, floating free in the air. “Balloon!” Magic weaved again, creating a circle of seven, pony sized, translucent orbs. When Zero Gravity ended, the balloons popped as Sora landed, each dealing a rather large amount of damage.
“I’ll have to learn that one,” Sora muttered, casting a quick Cura on himself and getting to his feet. “What else?”
“That spell would be so much more fun without the sudden stop at the end.” Sonata hummed softly to herself while sending out small tendrils of water that glowed with a soft green light to the rest of those that had gotten caught up in the effect. “Be cleansed of pain.”
“Hey, Sonata, put up a water barrier,” Alex instructed, holding up his keyblade again. “Poison!” A purple pulse radiated out from Alex, a sickly bubbling sound accompanying his cast.
That barrier went up quickly around herself and most of the others gathered, mostly due to those tendrils just expanding rapidly to surround the ponies with a bubble of air inside water. Sora meanwhile twitched his blade upwards, muttering “Aerora.” A small whirlwind formed around him, keeping the poison at bay. “I’m noting a pattern,” he said. “Area-of-Effect and multiple-target spells your specialization, then?”
“Being able to hurt more than one opponent at a time does help when you’re mobbed by the heartless equivalent of sardines.” Sonata offered as she retracted the various water constructs back into herself.
“Fair enough,” Sora admitted. “I believe you mentioned two others. Sleep and Confuse?”
“Yeah, Sleep and Confuse,” Alex confirmed, looking back at him. “I don’t think I need to demonstrate them, given the names.”
“Probably not,” Sora agreed, dismissing Oathkeeper. “Shall we move on to the forms?”
“Probably for the best,” Alex agreed, relaxing his stance. “How do we even start that?”
“Recall the emotions that you felt when I unlocked your heart,” Sora said. “Bring them to the forefront of your heart. Once they’re there,” Sora placed his hand over his chest and clenched it into a fist. “Grasp it. Grasp it with all your might and pull it into being. Let those emotions fill and consume you.”
“Ah, right. Do the thing to get the thing.” Alex closed his eyes, digging into his emotions to what Sora had uncovered. A frown grew across his face as the minutes wore on. Finally, he simply shook his head. “Yeah, I’m getting nothing over here.”
Sonata tilted her head to one side and looked at Alex, then walked over to his side and placed her finned foreleg against his shin. “Okay, I don’t like remembering old Queen Rondo all that much, but maybe one of her visualization methods might help?” She looked up towards Alex’s face and offered him a sad smile.
“Thanks, Sonata.” Alex smiled back, putting a hand on her head. “Teach away.”
“Close your eyes and picture the perfect beach lagoon, protected all around by a wall of rock so the only way in is a break on the ocean side. The waves break and batter themselves against this wall, trying to get in, but only a select few are able to disturb the placid waters. Your goal is a single strand of kelp, caught in this powerful current, and you need to find your way there safely. You could get it by climbing on the wet rocks and holding steady with all your might, or you could swim through and grab it with the right speed and timing to circle back before the next wave pounds against those same rocks, or do you jump outside the safety of the lagoon and use those waves to push you back in, snatching your prize after amazing every onlooker?” Sonata paused for a few seconds and cleared her throat. “Do you see your prize, Alex? If you do, take it, for you are as one with the waves, hear how they roar.”
“Yeah, I do. I see it,” Alex spoke, his voice low and calm. “I’m gonna take it.”
“Then take it!” Sonata cried, punctuating her statement by rearing up and gently shoving at Alex’s waist with both forelegs.
The two of them glowed, Sonata merging into Alex’s coat. A sound almost that of glass breaking exploded out from them with a wave of power. The figure left in their stead was clearly still Alex, though definitely not what was expected, as he was dressed in an elegant flowing gown the same blue color as Sonata’s coat, mostly. The skirt trailed on the ground, creating the illusion of a dolphin’s tail just barely too long for his height. A lacy frill spiraled up from the hem of the skirt to encircle his waist, and the top looked almost immaterial over his chest except for what was clearly a dark blue bikini top underneath the fabric of the gown. Long, opera-style gloves covered his arms up to the middle of his biceps, both with a distinctively fishlike fin from wrist to elbow, and his hair held a small crown of seashells and corals of various colors, with a veil down the back of his head that looked like silk made to imitate seaweed.
Sora raised an eyebrow, looking Alex up and down. “Or, you could go with how the games did things, which it looks like is standard fare for your world. Looking good, in any case.”
“Gah!” Alex shouted, taking in his new look. “Why couldn’t the cloak just change color?!” He blushed, finding himself twirling a bit.
Ohhh, that gown looks really pretty on us. I’m jealous. Sonata’s voice rang in his head briefly.
Sora shrugged, switching his eyes to heartsight. “More intricate a design than the forms from the games, too. You really landed the jackpot somehow. It’s amazing, really. Your heart and Sonata’s are overlapping in a way I’ve never seen before. It’s almost seamless. A little more practice, and it’ll be a flawless joining.”
“Yeah sure, the jackpot,” Alex agreed rather lukewarmly. “How the hell am I supposed to fight in a freaking ball gown?”
“That is a problem.” Sora grinned and summoned Oblivion. “Let’s find out!” He rushed forward, eyes still shining as he swung obviously at Alex’s chest.
Fade back one step, bring the blade up to block and deflect. Push with your front foot while keeping the rear one in place. Sonata’s thoughts rang clear again, and Alex saw a brief flash of her taking fencing lessons in human form at one point in time. Alex followed through with her instructions, knocking Oblivion to the side and lining Aubade up with Sora’s chest. “Blizzara!”
Sora stepped to the side, dodging the bolt of ice, but winced as shrapnel caught him in the side, not having expected the extra burst of frost for closer opponents in a shotgun spread. He quickly leapt back and aimed his own blade. “Fira!” Three bolts of fire shot from his blade, twisting through the air to come at Alex from three different angles.
Alex, I can’t use my water, and there was no magic defense in my old lessons for human bodies! Sonata’s thoughts held a tinge of panic as the flaming attack approached. I don’t wanna be baked tilapia!
“I don’t know what that is!” Alex gripped Aubade tightly before taking in a breath and pirouetting. A tower of water encircled him, shielding him from Sora’s spell. A name registered in his mind ‘Water Funnel’.
“Very nice.” Sora dismissed his blade and applauded as the water descended, his eyes back to normal. “Good instincts, and it looks like your movement isn’t quite as hampered as you’d feared. Which form is that?”
Hampered? This gown’s lighter than every single dress I ever wore during the Renaissance, and you didn’t misstep once. Pretty graceful for your first real time wearing something like this.
“Uh... I dunno. Grace, I guess?” Alex responded, sounding a lot more confident in his new form. “It’s not... too bad...”
Sora nodded. “Makes sense. Grace Form is tied to your more… feminine side. That just leaves Strength, Agility, and Triad for you to figure out.” He smirked and crossed his arms. “And since your world insists on being game-accurate, you’re on your own for the rest of them. Just be careful; if Shadow Form is as tied to these forms as it is to mine, your first experience in that form will be quite jarring.”
Alex huffed, giving Sora glare. “I’ll show you ‘feminine’ side, Shonen Jump.”
“Your references hold no power over me,” Sora replied, “for I understand them not.” He clapped his hands together, grinning from Alex to Fancy. “So, anything else to cover? Fancy? Sonalex?”
Sonata giggled a bit at the odd name Sora used. ’dere ‘dere Alex, we’ll get revenge on him tsun for that.
Alex’s eyes popped open wide. “I am not acting like a tsundere! Nope! Out of my head before you infect me with more of your girly thoughts, vile watery temptress!”
Fancy stared and backed away a step. “Is she… quite alright?”
Sora nodded. “Yeah, they’re fine. It looks like Sonata still has her own ego even when joined with Alex.”
“I see. Fascinating.” Fancy was silent for a moment before asking, “And what is a ‘tsundere?’”
“No idea.”
I, uh, I don’t know how to leave? Sonata admitted sheepishly. This is my first time.
“Do we just... wait for the timer to run out?” Alex asked, fishing his phone out of a pocket that was almost perfectly hidden behind the lacy spiral on his skirt. He took a picture of himself, slipping it back into his pocket. “That how it works or what?”
“Pretty much,” Sora said. “As you get a better feel for it, you’ll eventually be able to revert at will. Combat seems to speed it up a bit, but honestly? The forms are still the part of my powers that I understand the least, even after three millenia.”
“I’m surprised you never figured out how to turn your keyblade into a glider,” Alex commented, allowing Aubade to vanish. “I’m still trying to figure that one out.”
“I never thought to try,” Sora admitted. “I might give it a go, now that I know. So, was there anything else?”
Alex snapped his fingers, pointing at Sora. “Keyblade armor. Actual wielders, trained under a master, have keyblade armor. They can use their gliders to travel between worlds while their armor protects them from the darkness in the lanes between.”
“I see. And how do you activate that?”
“The armor? I think it’s custom made by the master.”
Sora smirked. “Got to admit, armor smithing isn't one of those skills I’ve picked up over the centuries.”
Alex shrugged, doing another twirl. “Can’t help you there. I know Xemnas has Xehanort’s. Don’t know about Luna or Celestia. And if Celestia does, I’m not sure if she has it anymore or if she lost it when she gave up Aubade.”
Sora blushed and looked away. “W-well, ask Xemnas about it when you get back. Sounds like it would be an interesting thing to have. Also, if you don’t want me commenting on your feminine side, you should stop twirling around like a ma- girl before the Gala.”
“Huh?” Alex asked, blinking owlishly. “Oh, huh. I didn’t even notice. Feels kinda nice.”
“Looks nice too,” Sora muttered under his breath.
Looks like somebody thinks you’re cuuuute. Sonata practically began to cackle with laughter inside Alex’s head, and after a brief flash of light ended up with the two of them finally separating, she continued to laugh while flopped over on her side like a fish out of water.
“That is not funny!” Alex hissed, glaring at Sonata. “Keep it up and I’ll let Spike turn you into a fish stick!”
“What’s not funny?” asked Sora quickly, his smile a little strained. At this point, I’d take anything to get out of this.
“N-nothing, just... siren ears. We could hear everything you said.” Sonata tried to get her laughter under control, and stood back up after a minute or so to look up at Alex with as serious an expression as she could manage. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t realize my teasing was getting that bad. It’s been so long since I was just able to cut loose and have fun. I think I’m in just the right mood to try teaching you water magic if you like? I’ll have to do it differently than just forcing the knowledge into your body like I did with Alex. That caused a couple problems for him, because I messed up.”
“Probably for the best we don’t use that method then,” Sora said, voice light even as he tried to fight down his blush. “So, how does magic work in your Equestria? Same as the games, or is it more versatile?”
“I don’t know what the games are like, but if your world uses anything like the rune grid construction method for spells it should be fairly easy for you to add versatility. The most basic spells on our world are made by focusing on a single word, but that can cause problems. How does magic work here?”
“It’s tied mostly to the words,” Sora explained, “but there’s some versatility involved in the second stage of the spell. ‘Fire’ will get you basic firebolts, and ‘Firaga’ far more powerful ones, and those are pretty straightforward. ‘Fira,’ however, is more piloted by the will of the caster. The more in tune with the element the caster is, the more she or he can do with it.” He pointed over to Fancy Pants. “He, for example, will someday be able to write his name in the sky with a well-controlled ‘Thundara,’ but ‘Gravira’ will only ever be a ‘Gravity’ of a higher strength.”
“I see...so it’s a little different than our world.” Sonata thought to herself for a while after hearing this, one forehoof tapping against the side of her head. “Single-word spells on our world are bad because they cause uncontrolled, directionless bursts, unless the one word acts as a focus for the whole spell. Someone just learning magic who just wants fire could burn the building they’re in down because they didn’t focus the element with a direction or a purpose.”
“Interesting,” Sora said. “Sounds more like what I’ve heard about unicorn magic. So, I’m guessing the incantations are ‘Water,’ ‘Watera,’ and ‘Waterga?’”
“Those and ‘Waterza’ are the basic ways to focus on a spell for beginners, yes. Someone who’s been working with magic longer might not even need to say it, and Alex actually has a talent for managing to cast just by thinking, even if Twilight doesn’t like that because it can be dangerous if your concentration drifts. Someone who’s really good with magic can fine-tune things even further, or create jets of steam by combining the runes for fire effects with the ones for water, if they know water.”
“Combining spells, huh?” Sora gave the idea some thought before shaking his head. “I’ll have to experiment with that idea later. Anyway, I’ve never heard of a ‘za’ series.” He turned to Alex. “Which game introduced that?”
“3, they got some leaks before I was sent to Equestria,” Alex explained. “Called the ‘Za’ tier grand magic.”
“Really?” Sora summoned Bond of Flame and pointed it straight up, frowning for a minute before nodding and grasping the blade in both hands. “Firaza!”
A massive gout of flame shot straight up, the kickback knocking the blade down into Sora’s chest and slamming him to the ground, creating a small crater from the impact. “...ow”
“And that, class, is the reason we do not teach foals how to cast the most powerful magic the first time they use a spell.” Sonata said in a solemn tone and with her nose held high in the air; clearly imitating an old teacher from some point in her past. She couldn’t stop herself from giggling after a few seconds, and slowly walked over to look down at Sora. “Need some healing? That looked like a nasty bit of kickback.”
“I’ll be fine,” Sora muttered, sitting up and glaring at his blade. “My pride was injured more than any-”
Further words were cut off by a large warhammer slamming into his chest and doubling the diameter of the crater. “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING, SLINGING FIRE LIKE THAT AROUND?!” shouted the voice of an angry god. “IF LUNA SEES THAT SORT OF THING, SHE’S GOING TO ASSUME IT WAS ME!!!”
Sora grabbed the warhammer and got to his feet, glaring up at one of the castle’s towers. “I CHECKED FOR PEGASI FIRST! BESIDES, YOU JUST WISH YOU HAD THAT MUCH FIREPOWER!” He cocked his arm back. “AND WATCH OUT FOR CIVIS IN THE BLAST AREA NEXT TIME!!!” He flung the hammer with all his might, striking the top of the tower and leaving a large hole in the wall.
“Ow, ow, ow…” Sonata whimpered from the volume, clutching at her head and ears while her hooves glowed a soft green. “No more yelling please?”
Sora cleared his throat and nodded, twitching his blade upwards. “Cure. And sorry about that. Sol tends to forget that just because I can heal up minor injuries caused by our roughhousing, that doesn’t mean he can shoot before he thinks.”
“A-anyways,” Sonata stood back up and held one hoof in front of her. “Water is a spell that every siren on our world knows, almost from birth. Manipulating water is different, and that’s what can drain us. The spell creates a ball of water that flies at your target and explodes outward on impact, and also creates a shielding effect around the caster, so it can be used defensively as well as offensively. I’m not sure if it comes quite so easily for Alex, but I can give a quick demonstration if you like?”
Sora nodded. “A demonstration will probably help. One moment.” He blinked, activating his heartsight, and nodded. “Okay. Go ahead.”
Sonata nodded and closed her eyes for a moment, then took a deep breath. “Alex, think fast! Water!” She spun around, streams of water spiraling around her before launching forward as a large orb.
“Hey!” Alex shouted as he failed to bring Aubade up in time to deflect the orb back. “Oh come on, Sonata, that was dirty. You always gave me more warning before!”
“The water looked pretty clean to me,” Sora said, switching out for Wishing Star. “Now, let’s see if I’ve got this set of emotions right. He was silent for a moment before twitching the blade so it pointed at Sonata instead of Alex. “Water.” An orb, smaller than Sonata’s had been, flew from the tip of the blade.
Sonata ended up with a taste of her own medicine as the ball of water smacked into the back of her head and exploded with enough force to make her stagger a step forward as well as bring a hoof up to rub against the spot it hit. “Make sure to use more force than that when you use it in actual combat, but that’s a good place to start.”
Sora frowned down at his blade as he blinked out of heartsight. “I’ll work on it. Something tells me that new spells won’t come to me quite as easily as my original set but hey, when are things ever that easy?” He shrugged and dismissed the blade. “Something to work on during downtime, anyway. Was there anything else?”
Sonata looked at Alex and then back to Sora with a shrug. “I got a spell book if you want it,” Alex offered, reaching into his coat. “It’s a copy of Aqua’s original. It has all kinds of notes on how to make spells better in our world, but the originals should work for you.”
“That’d be great!” Sora grinned from ear to ear. “What a trade. A whole spellbook of new magic, and all I had to do was stab a girl in the chest!” He took the offered book, flipping through it.
The somewhat jovial mood in the courtyard was disrupted suddenly by the distinct pop of air that always accompanied someone teleporting. This was almost immediately followed up by a voice that was disturbingly familiar to Sora. “It’s eleven-thirty PM back home and Alex has a ten o’clock curfew on school nights. Next time you want to try taking him on an extended date, try doing it in a body that needs to wear a bra.”
Sora turned on his heel, three keyblades appearing in the air around him along with two in his hands. He looked around, preparing to strike Discord down, but the draconequus merely held up one talon as he moved over to examine Alex; a simple gesture to wait.
“His mother has been worried sick all evening, to the point where she even yelled at me to bring him back home or get out of her house. Fluttershy never yells, never mind at me.” Seeming satisfied that Alex hadn’t been hurt in any way that a day or so of rest wouldn’t fix, Discord turned back to Sora with a smile on his overly long face. “I’m not afraid of your keys, boy. Now if you don’t mind, care to explain your unwarranted aggression?”
Sora grit his teeth, his eyes blazing and his blades rattling in his shaking fists. “You never go in without recon,” he hissed. “You know exactly what we just went through. What could have happened to this world. And you call an instinct honed during the last war an unwarranted sign of aggression?!”
Discord stared at him for a moment. “Do I look like I follow military protocol? All I need to know is that you took my son to another Faust-damned world to fight a fight that wasn’t his!” Discord snarled, pulling Alex close to him again. “You even think of repeating this situation without permission and I promise you; I’ll redefine whatever word you have for suffering.”
Sora sneered at Discord, dismissing the blades that hovered around him and lowering the ones in his hands. “Well in case you hadn’t noticed, Daddy Dearest, your ‘son’ came of his own accord and fought of his own free will. In addition, whatever his physical state may be, mentally, and in his heart, he remains an adult. And even if he weren’t,” Sora’s eyes narrowed dangerously, “this wouldn’t be the first time a child has fought the heartless in this world. When you have a keyblade, the right to battle, if you so choose, is yours. We can’t afford to exclude any willing blade.”
“Yes, yes, mentally and spiritually an adult, but he’s legally under Fluttershy’s care in our world, adopted by her actually, and the only reason I haven’t done the same thing is that I’m trying to find the right way to pop the big question to her. I know this time it won’t end up in a keyblade chipping half my fang off like it did with Celestia.” A harsh growl built in his throat. “You disgust me, allowing children to become soldiers.”
Sora scoffed and dismissed his blades, turning his back on Discord. “What’s this? Discord, Lord of Chaos, Bringer of Strife, Divider of Families and Nations Alike, lecturing me about laws and decency? You really are an entirely different beast than the one I know. And I’ll have you know that any children remain in their home towns until they reach maturity. Local officers at the most.”
“Yes, well, we can all thank one wonderful mare for those differences, and our son here of course.” Discord squeezed Alex’s shoulder gently with one hand while the other snapped and caused a copy of the book Alex had handed over to Sora to appear in it. “Now, was there anything else you needed from him before the next interdimensional bolt bus arrives, or can I take him and Sonata home?”
Sora turned slightly, glaring over his shoulder at Discord. “...you know, that’s something I don’t get. You and me, we’re immortals. Immortals are, by nature, rather unchanging. How is it that one mare, however virtuous, was able to ‘reform’ you? Love might be a powerful force, but love takes time to build. It can’t be that simple.”
“Different worlds, different circumstances, young man. Celestia and I were quite close at one point in our world until I made a mistake that tore us apart. After that, Fluttershy was the first person to show me any form of kindness aside from occasionally cleaning off pigeon crap.” Discord suddenly sounded quite sad, and Alex could feel his paw trembling. “But that’s neither here nor there. We may be the same being, but your version of me is a different beast entirely.”
Sora turned to face Discord fully, his glare far softer. His eyes darted down to Discord’s chest as he considered something. Finally, he shook his head and sighed. “Well, that much is definitely true. It’d be nice if our Discord went bad from something so simple.” He met Discord’s eyes, his face more guarded than suspicious. “Alright, I’ll take your, Alex’s, and Sonata’s words for it that you’ve changed. Still, it’s up to Alex if he’s done here. Whatever the laws in your Equestria, he’d be considered a fully-fledged adult here.”
“Yeah, I’m done,” Alex said, stretching out. “I mean, I can stand here listening to you two engage in the time honored sport of dick measuring, but I’d rather not traumatize ‘Shy more than I already have.”
Sora nodded. “Good point.” He looked around and winced. “And since I don’t see Fancy anywhere around, we probably have about half a minute before Sol charges in here with his battleaxe.” He walked forward and held out his hand to Alex. “Thank you for your help, and for explaining what happened to me all those years ago. Look for my token when you get home. If you ever need me for anything, just give me a call.”
Discord waited for Alex’s response with his eagle claw held ready as if to snap while his tail pulled Sonata in close to make sure nobody was left behind.
“I’ll hold you to that.” Alex nodded, watching with no small amount of wonder as Discord unzipped a portal into existence. “I’ll see ya around, Sora.”
“I suppose we will see him at some point or another,” Discord grunted, moving into the portal. “Just so you don’t get any ideas of keeping Alex this long again.” He snapped his talons. “Enjoy the next two days, Sally.”
Sora looked down at himself, or rather, herself. “Huh,” she said, her voice higher and lighter. “I wonder if my forms will become dresses while I’m like… oh buysomeapples.” She facepalmed and groaned. “Luna’s going to get a kick out of this. I’ll have to steer clear of her bedroom until this wears off.” He looked up and smiled as the portal closed. “So long, Alex. May you always walk in the path of light.”
“Well, young stallion...man...whatever! Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Fluttershy stood in front of him, looking up but seeming no less imposing for being shorter. She had that heavy aura of ‘angry parent’ that called all eyes in the room over to her as the three travellers stepped out of a door that vanished behind them.
“O-kay, this is clearly a family thing so I’m just gonna...head back to the palace.” Sonata giggled nervously and backed away from the angry pegasus.
“I wasn’t going to ignore a request for help,” Alex responded, finding himself wilting under Fluttershy’s gaze. “I thought you guys were all about helping others. Aren’t you supposed to be Kindness or something?”
Fluttershy stared for a moment, her mouth open just enough. “Wait, you weren’t just wandering around in the forest somewhere?”
“You didn’t exactly give even me a chance to explain where I found him when I told you I’d found him, dear. You all-but bucked me in the tail and told me to bring him home immediately.” Discord snapped his fingers and handed Alex a bowl of ice cream. “Here, you go, Alex. I bought a pint of strawberries and some cheesecake the other day, then churned this out. You need to eat something before bed at least.”
“Thanks,” Alex said, finding a spoon in his hand. “I got called to another Equestria by a guy who got turned into Sora,” he explained, noting how quickly his confidence had come back now that Fluttershy wasn’t glaring at him.
“So you didn’t just wander away irresponsibly with a mare who...oh feathers, why didn’t I trust that you were at least doing something right?” Fluttershy deflated and stepped forward to give Alex a hug, ignoring that he had just been given something as she reared up and wrapped her forelegs around his waist.
“Hey, you’re a mom. Mom’s are supposed to assume their kids are doing something dumb,” Alex assured, scratching her ears. “I’d rather have you worry for the right reasons then...” he frowned, letting the thought hang.
“Wait, you thought that he and I were… Eww!” Sonata moved over to the door quickly. “I might tease Alex about it, but I was over in a human world long enough to know his body is all kinds of underage even if his mind is usually mature about things. I even told you I would leave things up to him and wait even if he said yes.”
Fluttershy’s ears flicked back as she nuzzled Alex’s stomach. “I’m sorry. I just get worried. I shouldn’t think like that but, I can’t help it. I remember doing a few things I’d promised my parents I wouldn’t, like standing on a tiny cloud by myself when I was barely able to fly.”
“Kids do dumb things, yeah, Rainbow reminded me of that the other day. Treadmills only at the gym, I should have remembered that.”
“We all make mistakes, Fluttershy. Your mistake is just being overprotective and worrying? If only I were so lucky.” Discord reached down and lifted Fluttershy’s head up only to poke her on the nose with the tip of a claw. “Let’s just...try to be a little less angry when we worry in the future, okay? Unless I say otherwise and tell you there’s a good reason to be angry, that is.”
“I think I’ll work on that, especially if this is going to be a regular thing.”
“Fluttershy, I don’t really want to get all dressed up for a wedding. Can’t I just wear what I’d normally wear since ponies don’t know anything about normal human clothing standards?” Alex grumbled as he was led to Carousel Boutique. “The wedding isn’t even for a week, and Rarity makes things with magic.”
“It’s only proper. Cranky Doodle and Matilda are part of our community and it’s their big day. Almost everyone has a personal story with either of them, including myself and Discord. It’d be a shame if anyone who could come didn’t.” Fluttershy raised a wing to brush along Alex’s back. “And it wouldn’t be very respectful if you were just wearing anything you wanted.”
“Yeah, Okay, I get that, but I just...I just don’t know about wearing fancy clothes. I don’t know...what I’d like.” He couldn’t help shivering as he thought back to the dress that had been forced upon him when he had fused with Sonata briefly, nor could he help blushing at how comfortable it had felt to wear.
“Alex?” Fluttershy asked, noting his flushed features. “Did something come to mind? You can tell me, if you want.” Hovering up to his level, she kissed his cheek. “I promise I won’t tell anyone unless you okay it.”
“W-well, I uh...” Alex blushed, looking away from her. “M-maybe...”
“Alex, how many times do I have to tell you that Discord and I aren’t going to judge you about any of this stuff? He might make a joke or two, but we both understand that this is a complicated issue for you. We want you to be comfortable.”
Poking his fingers together, he muttered a reply under his breath.
“Oh dear, is this how my friends feel when I barely say something?” Fluttershy ponders for a moment while still doing her best to keep the comforting contact in place. “It can wait until we get there if you want to talk about it a little more privately.”
“Y-yeah...” Alex nodded, letting Fluttershy guide him the rest of the way. “That sounds good...”
Once they got to the boutique they could see Rarity setting a ponnequin behind a privacy screen and looking relieved to have finished something. “Oh, hello there dears. Have you finally decided to take a look at some of the things I came up with for spare clothes for Alex?”
“Partly, but we were hoping you could make something for Alex to wear to the wedding,” Fluttershy said, nudging Alex closer. “I think Alex has something in mind, but, it seems to be a little embarrassing.”
“I-uh, no, not really for the wedding. This is...I...uh.” Alex wracked his brain to think of a reason to back out, and finally sighed in defeat. “When I was called over to that other world the other day with Sonata we...we ended up sharing a body wearing something really nice. I think it might be a bit much for the wedding though.” Reaching into his coat, he pulled out his phone. Tapping at the screen for a moment, he held it out to Rarity. “Looks like this.”
Rarity squinted and quickly shook her head. “No, no I’m sorry but there is simply no way I can recreate a dress like that from such a tiny image, and with no way to see what the other sides of it look like. The design is clearly asymmetrical to begin with and far too intricate to risk getting it wrong. Also it is rude to show up to a wedding with a better dress than the bride has, so, yes, this would be a bit much considering how simple Matilda’s tastes run.”
“Oh thank god, cause-”
“But~ I would happily make you a copy for the gala!” Rarity smiled, dragging Alex over to her work area. “For now, however, you need something nice to wear. Were you still thinking of a dress or something like a tuxedo?”
“Uhhhh...I...I want to say a tuxedo, but another part is telling me to go for another dress.” Alex groaned and moved to take a seat with his head in his hands. “I’m just so confused about everything, and it’s not helping to just go with my gut because it’s my gut that’s telling me two different things!”
Rarity put a hoof on his shoulder and let out a few calming noises. “It’s alright, Alex. Just take a deep breath and let it out. Let’s try and work your thoughts out together, okay?”
“Can...can we do something that’s both? A dress that looks like a tuxedo so both parts of my brain just shut the hell up about it?”
Beaming, Rarity levitated over a few materials and measuring tapes. “What an excellent idea, Alex darling. Black just seems to suit you so well. I should only need a few hours of your time.”
’Yes, she’s so right. Black does suit you well.’
‘No one asked you, Moon Horse.’ Standing up, Alex made his way over to Rarity’s stage. ‘I liked it better when you were sulking in your cage.’
Rarity took her time making measurements, and offered apologies at the winces Alex made as the measuring tape was wrapped around a few areas. “I’m sorry, dear, but I do need to know exactly how tight things can go so I can make them a little looser for freedom of movement. Now, would you be okay with a little lace being worked into the design? It would help make a few accents for your upper torso.”
Biting his lip, Alex took a moment to reply. “L-lace sounds good,” he finally said, shifting his weight a bit.
“Don’t worry, dear, I’ll make it as minimal as possible so it’s there and you can enjoy knowing it’s there if you like or you can ignore it if you decide you don’t like it.” She offered a smile and then held up two different materials for him, both black, but one of them just slightly shiny. “Now, which of these two feels better to you?”
“I... wouldn’t mind big frills,” Alex muttered, reaching out to touch both. “Why’s this one shiny?” he questioned, rubbing his thumb over it.
“That one’s silk, it has a natural shine to it once it’s been harvested and turned into fabric.”
“Ummm, Alex Lionheart?” A grey mare with a blonde mane landed next to the lunch table Alex and Snails had chosen to sit down at that day. “I have a special delivery for you. One of seven today, rush delivery from Canterlot.”
“Oh uh, thanks,” Alex said, taking the offered letter from the mare. Reaching into his pocket, Alex offered a few bits to the mare. “For your troubles.”
The mare took the bits after thinking for a couple seconds, and dropped them into her saddlebags. “Thank you. School was closer to the post office than your home, but I’m going there to Fluttershy next. Have fun kids!” The mare then ran off and beat her wings a couple times before managing to take off once more.
“Huh, a special delivery from Canterlot, and one of seven? What do you think it is, Alex?” Snails asked as he levitated a wrap of some kind in his magic.
“Maybe they’ll finally be knighted?” Alex suggested, opening up the envelope. Inside he found a short letter and two golden tickets. “Scratch that, Snails. I’ve got a golden ticket.” Smiling to himself, he turned to his friend. “I’ve got a golden ticket. I’ve got a golden ticket~”
“A golden ticket...oh, wait, is that a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala?” Snails looked almost afraid at the idea. “I heard it’s a really boring party for nobles. You might not like it.”
“Wait, YOU got a ticket to the GALA?!” Diamond Tiara’s voice came from nearby for the first time in a while, as she had left the two of them alone even after their week of lunch detention was up. “What makes you important enough to not only get some relic spellbook, but a gala ticket too?”
“Because I got a keysword and you don’t,” Alex responded, carefully replacing the envelope’s contents and stowing it in his coat. “I’d show off but, I promised I wouldn’t do that kind of thing. Laws and all that stuff.”
“But you...I...ugh, whatever. I’m sure my daddy will get a ticket eventually.” She turned away and just walked off, clearly still feeling the sting of her detentions.
“So, uh, two tickets? That means you get to go to the gala twice, I guess? Saving one for next year?”
“Nah, the note said it’s for me and my plus one,” Alex responded, turning his attention back to Snails. “Wanna go with me?”
“Y-y-ya...you…” Snails stammered and looked away quickly. “A-alex, are you asking me as a filly, or a colt?”
Alex blushed, the implication of his question hitting like a truck. “W-well uh... I-I wasn’t...” he looked away, trying to get his mind in order.
Snails hopped down from the bench on his side of the table and walked around to hop up next to Alex, his long neck putting his head almost level with Alex’s own if he stood up. “I-I’m sorry, Alex. You know I find you pretty, and I know that makes me a little weird, but, I like you. I’m older than some of the other students, so I take things a little differently. I didn’t mean to make things weird between us, but it’s difficult.”
Alex lifted his hand, putting it on Snails’ head. “You’re not making anything weird, I am. I got a lot of stuff in my head and it makes me do and say strange things.” Mulling over his next words, he spoke again. “Which... which would you rather I ask you as?”
“Is it bad that I like thinking of you as a filly? It makes it easier for me to not feel weird about the...um, older pony feelings?” He scratches his head with a hoof after a moment. “I’m sorry, it’s hard to really say it, but...ah. Spending time with you feels better than spending time with Snips because I know I can just treat you like a colt while knowing you’re a filly?”
“That makes sense.” Alex nodded, scratching Snails’ ears. “If that makes it all makes sense, I won’t tell you otherwise.” Summoning his courage, he spoke again; his face darkening. “You wanna try one way and if that doesn’t work out, go the other?”
“Uh, what?” Snails’ eyes closed briefly at the scratching, but he ended up shaking his head in confusion and opening them again to look up into Alex’s eyes. “Was that a human saying that just doesn’t translate or something?”
“No... It was just me being weird. What I mean is, do you... want to try me asking as a filly, and if things get weird, just default to me being a colt?”
“Oh, uh, no. No, what I meant is that if you’re asking me as a filly I’ll definitely go with you, but if you’re asking me as a colt to go to a dance with you just to have company...err...um. I’m doing the confusing thing again. You do that to me. I’m straight and you’re confusing, Alex.”
“Well then, lets try and make this less confusing.” leaning down a bit, Alex looked straight into Snails eyes. “You wanna go to the gala with me, as a filly?”
Snails smiled and nodded, then quickly darted in to kiss Alex directly on the mouth briefly. “If you’re okay with being a filly with me, Alex, I’m happy to dance with you.”
Alex sputtered for a moment before falling off the bench and whacking his head on the ground.
Snails hopped down again and carefully helped Alex back up with a few tugs of telekinesis. “Kiss was too much?”
“...I’ll let you know when I work it all out.”
“He kissed you?” Sonata gasped, jumping around Alex excitedly. “Was it nice?! Did you kiss him back!? Tell me~”
“Would you be a little more quiet about it, Sonata?” Alex hissed through his teeth as they walked towards Carousel Boutique, his face beginning to redden as she practically sang about what had happened between him and Snails. “I’m still trying to unpack everything in my mind, but it was definitely a surprise.”
“Sorry, I’m just so happy that you’re embracing that part of yourself!” In the hopes of jogging Rarity’s muse for their session, Sonata had forgone her disguises and went out in her natural form. “I bet you two are gonna be the most adorable couple on the dance floor.”
“Gah! We aren’t a couple! I’m just taking him to the gala because I don’t know, and like, anyone else my age enough...my apparent age...oh god this is all getting even more confusing.”
“Pffft. You’re only as old as you feel, Alex. That takes a lot of the creepy factor out of being over a thousand years old when most ponies barely see two centuries.” Flicking her tail, she nudged his hip. “I think you’re getting too hung up on it. For all intents and purposes, you are a teenager. Sure, you’ve been one before but that was then and this is now. Just keep it at first base and you’ll be fine.”
“Y-yeah, I guess that’s a good point. I don’t think I’d be comfortable with anything more than kissing anytime soon anyways, and even that’s still quite a shock. I’ve had a few really weird dreams lately though...but those stopped after a couple days.”
“Oh? Wanna tell me about them?”
“Hell no! They were seriously strange. Like, I don’t think I could make up a story half as strange as these dreams got.” Alex reached down, running a hand through Sonata’s mane. “And thankfully, all of Nightmare’s BS is gone. Just my normal nightmares now.”
“I still don’t get how you got Luna’s old personal demon stuck in your head. Oh, maybe she’s been quiet because she popped into my head when we merged and I ate her like the dark emotional sandwich she is?”
’I like her. She’s got funny ideas of what she could and couldn’t do to me.’
“If only,” Alex sighed, shaking his head. Steering over to Rarity’s home, Alex gave a knock. “Hey, Rarity! It’s me and Sonata! You ready?”
“Only if the two of you are ready to show off that gown you took a picture of.” The door opened quickly from inside and Rarity ushered them both in. “Come in either way, dears. It’s getting chilly out lately and I have a bit of tea ready if you want that.”
“Tea’s good,” Alex agreed.
“Aw, thanks for worrying, Rarity, but I’m not bothered by the cold!” Sonata stayed close to Alex, and reigned in her enthusiasm. “I love fall and winter, means I don’t need water as much.”
Moving to stand by the stage, Alex cleared his throat. “So... do you want us to do the thing now, or...?”
“That would be best. I’d like to get moving with this as quickly as possible so that I can take my time basking in the details. The picture you took was enough to get me thinking of new designs, but if you want a copy it must. Be. Perfect!” Rarity punctuated her statement with gentle prodding at Sonata to get her to move over to stand with Alex. “So you two do what you need to do so I can see this dress for myself.”
Alex gingerly put a hand on Sonata’s head, looking down at her. “Okay, fusion time. Let’s do it.” Taking in a breath, he repeated the process from before and within moments, the pair were one being again. “Tada~” Alex spoke much more confidently, twirling around on stage.
“Oh my…” Rarity simply stared for the first minute or so before finally moving around and getting a good look at Alex’s dress. A sketchpad and pencil floated over from a side-table and began to quickly write down a few notes about specific details as she moved. “This may actually be a bit difficult to replicate.”
“Seriously?” Alex pouted, stopping mid-twirl. “Don’t do me like that, Rarity.”
“Difficult, dear. I said difficult, not impossible.” She walked around Alex once more, her pencil still making note of things. “Some of the colors will have to be custom dyed, and I’ll have to see about importing shells for that tiara on your head, for example. That’s going to take time, and before the Gala is when I have the least time to worry about things outside my control. I might just end up racing to get it finished the day before the big party.”
“Well, maybe we could help?” Watching her closely, Alex found himself taking another selfie. “It’s like... I’m on autopilot.”
’Oh, sorry, some of that might be me, Alex. We just look so cute like this.’ Sonata’s voice rang clear in his mind as the impulse to make a kissy face on the next picture passed.
“How would you help, exactly? Do you know anything about how dyes work, or which fabric is the right one for which section of this gown? Or how to gather the fabric just right to dye only certain parts of it to get this dappled, sunlight on waves look for the back? You aren’t cold in it, are you?”
“I don’t think so?” Alex questioned, looking down at himself. “I’m not sure how I can help but, I want to.”
“Well, I suppose I could use your body instead of something less fitting to check the fit of the various pieces once I have them completed. A ponnequin simply wouldn’t work for you and I don’t have a way to order something customized to your shape, nor would I want to when you’re still growing.”
“I guess I could do that...” Twirling again, Alex blushed. “I just... feel so free like this. It’s... hard to explain...”
“It’s almost like you’re a different person? I imagine part of that is from having Sonata in your head, but another part could just be from liking how you look in a dress. I could make a few other things for you if you like? A young lady deserves to have more than two dresses, both of which were designed for special occasions.”
“L-like what?” The idea struck home but Alex couldn’t keep the blush off his face.
“Well, I think you’d look adorable in a nice purple color, and something yellow might go well with your eyes. Not both at the same time, of course, barring making the colors just off enough to not clash horribly.” A brief tingle was felt across Alex’s back, followed by a slight breeze. “I can’t figure out why this piece flips up when you twirl, other than to let your skin breathe…”
“You got any ideas, Sonata? I don’t know anything about dresses.”
’Huh...it’s almost like it’s there just so someone could unhook your bra, or to keep your back from getting all sweaty while you fight, or dance.’
“...There would never be a situation where we’re fused and I need to take my bra off,” Alex stated flatly. “Not even once.”
“Do I even want to know?” Rarity asked as she started sketching in earnest, her pencil beginning to move within the empty space of the paper to draw out what she was seeing.
“Just Sonata being Sonata,” Alex replied, smoothing out his dress. “Ignore her.” He took a breath, fighting the urge to twirl again. “You know, the other you said yellow was a good color for me.”
“Well, at least that confirms that we both have the same eye for color and details.” Rarity reached up with her magic and attempted to remove the tiara to get a closer look at it in order to make sure she got as much detail as possible noted down.
’Okay, that’s weird!’ Sonata commented as the headgear floated in Rarity’s magic. ’It’s like she’s pulled my ears off, but not my ears exactly.’
“This is simply exquisite. Does Sonata know what kinds of shells these all are so I can make sure I order the right things the first time?” Rarity held it up in front of Alex, allowing him to clearly see the arrangement of various shells forming the marine-themed tiara, including a handful of thalassa shells.
“Well, I know those are thalassa shells. Don’t know about the others.” Alex took it in his hands, turning it this way and that. “What about it, Sonata? What can you tell us?”
Sonata thought for a bit before listing off a few different names of sea creatures, then sighed. ’The frame they’re attached to is coral. That’s going to need to be made of something else, since we use coral beds as our graveyards...unless she knows a place to get coral that doesn’t involve defacing a monument to a lost family member.’
Relying the information to Rarity, Alex rubbed his arm. “Would anything else do instead of coral? I don’t want to make this weird. Uh, styrofoam maybe?”
“Let me get a good look at the back of it, and then some measurements of the tiara itself. I’m sure there’ll be some way to make a replica of the base structure with something that will hold the shells properly without breaking if you look at it the wrong way, Alex.” Rarity levitated the ornament down to her eye-level and began to study the main structure under the shells from behind. “And I’ll make sure not to use any actual coral, Sonata.”
’Let her know that I can probably save her a bunch on the cost of the shells by calling in a few old favors, unless she wants a surplus on-hand to do some aquatic dresses later.’
“I think you look very nice, Alex,” Fluttershy assured, hovering behind him. “Rarity did a really good job.”
“I-uh...yeah.” Alex couldn’t help but blush as he looked at himself in the mirror and straightened everything out until it felt just right. A black lace panel acted to obscure the open upper half of the gown’s front, leaving his legs plenty of room to move freely in front of him, without a hem to trip over or step on by accident. The black pants blended in well with the material of the skirt, which helped hide the somewhat unusual design, while the upper part of the dress was made to look like a slightly feminine tuxedo. “It’s not really… I mean… It’s a little too girly for me, but I suppose if any other weddings happen soon I won’t need to get something new.”
Fluttershy giggled, nuzzling his neck. “It’s alright, Alex.” Fluttering across the room, she allowed a few of her animal friends to put a few finishing touches to her outfit. “Just think of today as practice for doing it on more casual days.”
“I’m still not so sure about wearing dresses casually on just any day, yet.” Alex sighed and began brushing his hair quickly. “I mean, what the robot-spider-lady….Liz. What Liz said about needing to take off fewer layers sometimes kinda makes sense, and I might just try it again next time, but I’m not going to count a few days every four weeks as ‘casual’ just yet.”
“Foal steps, Alex, foal steps,” Fluttershy soothed, patting Angel Bunny’s head. “Go at your own pace, alright? I promise, neither Discord nor I will push you more than a gentle nudge.”
“Right, baby steps,” Alex muttered, glancing back at her before giving a twirl. Unlike the other times, he tripped over himself and nearly stumbled into the mirror. “Stupid girly impulses...” he grumbled, steadying himself.
“You know, I could help you with those, Alex. One of the things Sarah discussed with me while you were making yourself presentable was a way to effectively turn off your estrogen factories for a while. There’s even a way to do it with just a medication if you feel like your own body is putting too much pressure on you to be a girl.” Discord’s voice came from the other side of the mirror, where he was straightening a bow tie on a collar and wearing absolutely nothing else.
Alex stared for a moment, his mind working before he shook his head. “It’s not... that’s not what I meant.”
“Just keep it in mind, my boy. There are fewer limits to what I can do than there are to what you’d accept, but I can and will help you out if you feel you need it.”
“Discord…” Fluttershy’s tone was only mildly chiding as she cleared her throat. “We talked about this. No changes unless Alex asks for them.”
“I know, but how will he know that they can be made without me telling him that the option is there? It’s not like I’m some barbaric surgeon cutting him open to smooth out a few wrinkles before he has any.”
“Can we talk about something else?” Alex questioned, brushing his hair back. “Anything else, please.”
“Oh, sorry Alex. It’s just that I don’t want you feeling pushed to-” Fluttershy let out a shriek of fear as a loud roar shook the cottage.
“The hell was that?” Alex questioned as the animals scattered to their hiding places.
“Hmmm, that sounded almost familiar. Was it just me or was there a buzzing along with that roar?” Discord reached up and pulled a rather-too-large wad of tissues out of one ear. “That sounded like one of my sister’s old monstrosities.”
“W-w-what do you mean ‘one of your sister’s monstrosities,’ Discord?” Fluttershy stood back up quickly, but her wide eyes betrayed her own fear of whatever had caused such a loud roar.
“She had a tendency to birth only wild beasts that are some kind of hybrid between two or more animals. I’m still not quite sure if griffons were one of her rare sapient progeny to start with.”
“So, you’re sister is basically Echidna, the mother of all monsters?” Making his way downstairs, Alex summoned Evolution’s Edge. “I’m not surprised.” Pushing the front door open, he shifted his weapon into its rifle-crossbow form. The keyblade extended and widened to make room for the large-bore rounds it fired while the fangs and claws extended to the sides to create blades that ensured Alex still had a close-range option with the oddly-organic armament.
“It’s not like she has any control over it, Alex. Not all of us can cook up something as perfect as your older sister.” Discord quickly pulled Alex back in as a horrible buzzing grew louder. “Let’s just wait until that either arrives or goes away, shall we? No need to invite Rarity’s wrath for ruining a dress she made you before the wedding if it’s just passing nearby.”
“What even is it?” Alex questioned, keeping his weapon close. “I swear, if its a mansquito, I’m out of here.”
“Mansquito? Nevermind, I probably don’t want to know if it would make you check into a Nope-tel. No, that sounds like either a bugbear or something I know Celestia and Luna did their best to drive to extinction when it escaped the zoo.”
“... I take it it’s not a big goblin?”
“The original one was a mix of a vicious type of honey bee and a polar bear, somehow. You really don’t want to know what the other option is.”
“Right. That sounds lovely,” Alex commented, peering out the window.
“Hmmm, that’s a different breed.” Discord’s head came down next to Alex’s and he snapped his fingers to give Alex a set of binoculars. “Third oak left of the huge pine, spot the yellow moving in the shadows?”
Alex nodded, following the spot. “You know, I feel like I’m in an episode of Gravity Falls. We celebrate Summerween here?”
“Hmmmm? That must be from a reality I’m unfamiliar with. Anyways, that’s clearly not the original breed of bugbear, look at all the black markings on it. Unless that’s some kind of nasty darkness infection, we’ve got a descendent on our hands here.”
“How dangerous is it?” Alex asked, lowering the binoculars. “Because a bear with the ‘fuck you’ of a wasp sounds like the stuff of nightmares.”
“You wouldn’t happen to know if that body you’re in is allergic to bees, would you? If it was, I’d advise you to avoid being within about twenty feet of this thing. If not, well, don’t get stung more than once.” Discord held his hands up about a foot apart from each other. “If you survive the first one that is.”
Alex blinked, looking down at himself. ‘Shit, that’s a good point. I have no idea what I could be allergic to. That is not a good thing.”
“Typical, focus on the detailed problem rather than the implication of a stinger almost as long as my arm…” Discord rolled his eyes and idly flicked Alex’s nose. “Tell your mother I’ll be right back. I have to go alert book horse that she’s going to have a problem to deal with before the wedding.”
Rubbing his nose, Alex frowned. “I’m sorry, my mind immediately jumps to health issues. Being a med student sorta does that to you.”
“Well, I suppose that’s understandable. Stay inside until your mother or I tell you it’s safe to go out. I suspect I’m going to be stretched quite thin today. I can’t just snap my fingers and render that thing harmless if it’s a nearly-pure version of my sister’s original spawn like it looks. Chaos cannot calm chaos.”
“Right, go do the thing.” Gesturing to the door, Alex hefted Evolution’s Edge again. “I’ll just stay here with my big dumb gun. Just shout and I’ll fire off a shot or something.”
Discord paused in thought for a moment. “Tell you what, Alex, how about you just go ahead and shoot that thing if it comes any closer than a dozen feet? Then you run out the door and do your best to kite it like you’re made of paper. I’ll make the sound of that thing firing my signal that things need to accelerate with sparklebutt.” With that said, he snapped his fingers and vanished, leaving a small puff of cotton candy floating where he’d been standing.
“Right...” Assuming that Fluttershy had been taken with him, Alex pushed the nearest window open and rested Evolution’s barrel on the windowsill. “Okay, I’ve had... a few days of practice with this thing, it should be fine.” Kneeling down, he braced the rifle’s butt against his shoulder and peered down the scope. “It can’t be that hard. Just take aim and shoot. Nothing to it.”
Less than a minute later the sound of the air unzipping, and an angry Fluttershy yelling came from behind Alex. “-ow I would never agree to leave him that close to a dangerous beast when he can’t talk with them like I can! I don’t care if he is stronger than we treat him, he’s my responsibility, Discord!”
“Sorry, Alex, looks like I misjudged her temper. Finger off the trigger, please.” Discord gave barely any warning at all before grabbing Alex by the neck like a kitten, and somehow painlessly yanking him through the tiny opening.
The sudden motion caused Alex to tighten his grip on Evolution, his finger squeezing the trigger. A bolt of energy discharged from the barrel, streaking through the suddenly open sky. A startled yelp caught his ear, the source being a charcoal grey, mohawked pegasus whom almost had his wing clipped by the stray shot.
“Sorry!” Alex called up, wearing a sheepish expression.
“And that’s why you shouldn’t have forced me to do this with no warning, Fluttershy. He was to be our early warning system in case the bugbear came into town instead of possibly staying in the forest. Now we won’t know until it emerges.” Discord carefully placed Alex down on his feet with one hand while a second head pored over a series of insanely complex runes and glyphs that were floating in the air in front of him. “And I told you time was of the essence. Now I have to rewrite ‘sheloktor’ so this beast can’t just kill any of you in one swipe. Wards against this kind of beast are difficult, my dear, even for me.”
“How hard could it be?” Dash questioned, making a noticeable effort to not hover near Alex. “It’s a bug. Just whip up a big can of bug spray and hose it down!”
“Rainbow Dash, if I could do something as simple as that to nullify this threat, don’t you think I would have done it already? I can’t directly act against this wild thing. Beasts that my sister gives birth to have always been immune to the direct effects of my abilities because the things my chaos creates cannot counteract the things her inner chaos creates, so I have to toy with powers beyond ponies to indirectly affect it instead. Now be quiet for a minute before you all end up with breezie wings because I lost concentration on the shape of one of these ancient runes. I’m trying to protect the entire town here.”
Rainbow Dash mimicked his worlds with a roll of her eyes, oblivious to her friends’ glares.
“So, I do hate to be ‘that mare,’ darlings, but I take it this means most of us will be unable to enjoy the wedding?” Rarity pouted as she straightened out a feathered hat that was, compared to her normal fashion, quite subdued. “I was looking forward to it.”
“I guess we’ll just have to make the sacrifice so everyone else can enjoy the wedding,” Twilight responded. “We just have to accept that this isn’t about us.”
Discord actually gagged for a moment. “Such heroic nonsense...but accurate enough. My powers are going to be stretched quite thin to charge these runes, ladies, and Alex, so don’t expect me to be able to do much to help other than the occasional quick teleportation.”
“It’ll be fine,” Alex assured, looking over the small group of ponies. “So... which one of you wants to try fusing with me?”
“Wait, fusing?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Too late, I pick the farm horse!” Reaching a hand out, Alex grabbed a handful of Applejack’s mane. “Bring on the fusing!”
Before Applejack could complain, her body brightened until it was pure light and leapt onto Alex’s body. On impact, she merged with his dress, creating an entirely new outfit. Power and energy flowed into him as he felt his feet and legs encased in some kind of armor that looked like rooted logs. These altered in shape, taking on the vague appearance of cowboy boots with a bark texture. That same texture continued above the darker wood as a padded bodysuit the color of Applejack’s coat formed, leaving most of Alex’s body looking very much treelike. Gauntlets appeared on his hands and forearms, looking like plates of wood with metal bands. These gauntlets moved easily, but upon making a fist the panels interlocked in such a way as to seemingly transform into barrels outright.
A weight settled on Alex’s head as a helmet of some kind formed around his head with a fairly open faceguard, one that seemed very much like a catcher’s mask from his inside perspective. Bringing one hand up to feel out the shape of the helmet revealed to Alex that the metal head protection was a perfect copy of the shape of Applejack’s signature hat. “Okay...how do I look?”
’What in tarnation just happened? Ah feel like half an ounce of jam spread over an entire loaf of sliced bread!’
“Ooh~ Alex, darling! You are just a wellspring of potential~” Rarity gushed. Rearing up, she giddily clapped her hooves together. “Stay just like that, I have to take down this design! Twilight, be a dear and find me some sketching paper!”
“We don’t have time for that, Rarity. Imminent threat approaching town, potential large scale destruction, ringing any bells?” Rainbow groaned in exasperation as she looked Alex up and down. “I bet I’d have become something cooler.”
“Everyone, please, we have a monster to stop,” Twilight pressed. “I’m sure Alex and Applejack wouldn’t mind posing for you later, Rarity.”
’Hey, Alex, is it just me or do our hooves feel really...solid and stable-like?’ Applejack’s voice was much calmer after only a few seconds of being merged with him, and he could feel the armor tighten for a moment and briefly lock in place. ’This is weird…’
“Shouldn’t we wait for some kind of signal from Discord that his special wards are ready before we try fighting?” Fluttershy had finished removing her dress, not wanting to ruin it if she couldn’t avoid the monster. Only a pair of tinted goggles remained on her, covering her recently-altered eyes and protecting them from the sun.
“Gotta be ready,” Alex replied, noting that Evolution’s Edge had returned to its default form. “As for my feet being stable? That’s either the weird magic or the fact that humans are plantigrade.”
“So this would be a good time for me to go check and see if I have anything I can load into the confetti cannons that would be more effective against a raging flying bear with a stinger the size of Chrysalis’s ego, right?” Pinkie was smiling just a little too wide as she asked this. “Maybe some of the harder rubber balls I have stashed around town, or, oh, what about marbles?”
“How about smoke?” Alex suggested. “I mean it is crossed with a bear, but, I know that smoke makes bees docile. Got anything like that, Pink One?”
“Well, no, I don’t have anything like that, but I can go dash off and see if Golden Crisp has anything she uses in her beekeeping.”
“Go do that,” Alex said, nodding. “You know, ever notice how Lee’s never around when you need him?”
“Now’s hardly the time to be pointing out something like that, Alex.” Fluttershy quietly stated, having apparently mostly calmed down to a more normal temperament, “For all we know he’s found another pony that got attacked and is helping them like when he found Big Mac.”
“Probably shouldn’t have mentioned the big guy, Shy,” Dash pointed out, facehoofing. “I mean, she’s fused with Alex right now.”
“Eh-heh...on the plus side that means she can’t kick me right now.” Alex raised a gauntlet to rub at the back of his head, only to remember the odd helmet he was wearing. “Besides, he’s...mostly back now.”
’Yeah, but yer still gettin’ bucked inta next week fer this.’
“Please no, I want as much life as possible before Shark Week again, don’t make me skip it.” Alex responded quickly, only half-joking.
“You got any idea what he’s talking about?” Dash asked, glancing at Rarity. “Cause I got nothing.”
“Personal issue, Rainbow.” Fluttershy quickly interjected. “Human females don’t go into heat. Things are very complicated for Alex, but it’s good that he can joke about it at least.” One batlike wing quickly wrapped around Alex’s hips for a few seconds.
“Right. Let’s drop the subject of Shark Week and talk about something else.”
“Might I suggest a big, insectoid-Ursine?” Discord inquired, putting a paw on Alex’s shoulder. “Because that seems like a very pressing issue.”
“Discord does have a good point,” Rarity said, having seemingly accepted that she’d miss the wedding. “Just what can we expect besides claws and stings?”
“Standard strength for a bear of that size and thick enough insect armor that it might not even feel a buck from Big Mac. Attacking the furred sections might yield better results, but there’s no guarantee. It’s probably either hungry or scared of something, but my sister’s spawn aren’t reliable like animals are. For all I know it’s just in a bad mood.”
Alex frowned as he brought Evolution up to eye level. “I can’t get the damn thing to change. There goes my sniper plan. I’ll have to get up close and personal with the bug.”
Well, Ah guess it’s just peachy then that y’all got some fancy armor from this. Let’s hope it helps.
“What about spells, Discord? Does it have any defenses that you know of against magic?” Twilight called Sign of Innocence and grasped it firmly in her magic.
“Nothing I do will affect it, but your magic should be able to give it a good one-two punch.”
“So no specific vulnerabilities you know of for us to capitalize on?”
“No, Alex, I don’t know what it’s vulnerable to specifically. It’s not the original one, and I’m making guesses at best other than knowing that I won’t be able to do anything to it directly. The best I can do is this intricate luck manipulation spell that should keep everypony in town both safe and unconcerned.”
“Good enough for me,” Alex muttered, getting into a combat stance. “How far away was it the last time you checked?”
Discord seemed to finish adjusting the runes before turning around to face the six of them. His hands and eyes were both glowing with the same aurora-like energy that the runes were made of. “Too close for comfort, and I’m about to lose my body for at least a few minutes to power this array. The worst part is that the best defense against this thing is likely to draw it in further.”
“...That sounds terrible,” Alex commented, turning towards the White Tail Woods. “If that sound is anything to go by, I think it’s in town.”
“Eh, it’s not the first time I’ve sacrificed my body for something.” Discord shrugged before looking towards Fluttershy. “Any changes you want me to try and focus on, dear?”
“Changes?” Fluttershy questioned. “I don’t think I understand, Dissy.”
“Physical alterations. I’ve been considering trading in the goat leg for a while now, actually. I know, I know, I can shapeshift, but I’m talking about resetting the defaults here rather than a temporary change.”
“Oh um...” Fluttering up to his ear, she whispered a few things. It was obviously something intimate, judging by the way her fur darkened. Her piece spoken, she re-took her spot next to Alex.
Discord’s eyes must have narrowed judging by the way the energy shining in them dimmed. “Interesting. I will definitely keep that in mind when I’m pulling myself back together. Everypony get ready, you have incoming.” With that said, Discord clapped his glowing hands together, and the sound seemed to repeat a dozen times, followed by a similar number of snaps in rapid succession as the color began to fade from his body, followed by a golden glow expanding outwards.
“Oooh~ That’s super trippy!” Pinkie bounced, her eyes bright and wide. “It’s like watching Dr. Strange! Say the line! Say the line!”
Discord could only laugh, but the sound cut off as the draining color reached his neck, with the drained sections of his body quickly fading into invisibility.
“Okay, let’s ignore the creepiness of that and take advantage of all the time we have to get this monster stopped.”
“Yeah, time just ran out.” Alex gripped Evolution tighter, watching as a hulking shape zipped through the air. “Look alive, people. The mansquito has arrived.”
Spotting them, the bugbear came to a stop above the roofline. With the general body plan of a bear, it sported red eyes and a pair of antenna on a white head and neck. Its upper torso was black, with its middle being white and bearing a second set of arms. The last third was black, tapering beyond its legs into a sharp stinger. Its chest was covered with markings that contained patches of black and yellow, with some of them looking glossy while others were fuzzy. Similar bands of color appeared down the legs and along the oversized stinger.
Twilight zipped into the air, her horn glowing with magic. “Alright everypony, we can do this! We just have to contain it. Don’t do anything that could get you hu-” Jerking her head down, she felt the tug of the bugbears claws as they cut through her mane.
“You mean like giving a speech in the middle of combat? Talking isn’t a free action in reality, Purplesmart.” Alex ran over to the building the bugbear was hovering over, with his feet almost refusing to move at first. He jumped up, and intended to catch the side of the roof only to launch high enough to land right on top of it. “Okay, that’s new. That is vey, very new.”
’Ah ain’t ever jumped that high ‘fore.’
“We’ll figure it out later, AJ!” Alex ended up shouting as he quickly brought up his keyblade to deflect another blow from the bugbear, only for it to leave his arms shaking from the impact. “Strong, very strong, be careful girls!”
“Careful nothin’, we got this!” Rainbow zipped in, scoring a kick to the bugbear’s jaw. Dashing out of its immediate range, she couldn’t keep the smirk off her face. “It’s just a big teddy bear that someone forgot to hug.”
Rainbow had apparently forgotten that this thing was flying, as she had taunted it from only just barely out of its reach. A sudden increase in the volume of the buzzing was all the warning Rainbow got before being smacked in return, with a blow to the back of her head that had her vision go white as she briefly lost coordination and tumbled through the air.
“Rainbow!” Fluttershy’s concerned yell came a second before Rainbow felt herself get steadied by another set of hooves, and before her vision cleared completely. “That wasn’t very nice!” Fluttershy scolded, gently lowering her friend to the ground.
“I’m fine, I’m fine, but Alex was right. That thing hits like flying headfirst into a tree.”
“It still wasn’t very nice.” Fluttershy carefully prodded and examined the back of Rainbow’s neck and head. “Only a small scratch, so Discord’s protection must be working. You’ll need to thank him later.”
“Yeah, yeah. Thank your weirdo boy-toy for saving my neck.” Giving Fluttershy a teasing smile, Rainbow rose to her hooves. “Okay, you dive in with the Stare and I’ll ram into his gut!”
Fluttershy sighed before following Rainbow back up into the air. “Things like that are why you have trouble even getting a second date, Rainbow.” She smiled to herself as she diverted from her friend’s side and tried to catch the bugbear’s eyes with her own so she could stare it down, but it didn’t seem to be working.
“Here I come!” Dash shouted, making a beeline for the bugbear’s stomach. “Hope you didn’t eat a big breakfast!”
Twilight was keeping the creature’s upper pair of arms busy while Alex was focusing on keeping the stinger away from his mostly-unprotected-seeming torso between swipes from the lower arms, and both of them moved just enough to give Rainbow an unobstructed target.
Dash crashed into the bugbear’s stomach, her shoulder slamming into the soft meat. “Ha! Take that you ugly flankhole!”
The bugbear grunted, its wings giving out for a moment. Recovering far quicker than one would have thought, it’s second pair of arms wrapped around Dash and hurled her into a nearby roof.
“Okay, ow, what the hay, Fluttershy? I thought you were going to paralyze it for a few seconds for me?”
“I tried, but I couldn’t feel the connection like I used to. It’s like there’s something in the way.”
“Mom, goggles!” Alex shouted from the rooftop, then pointed at his face. “You’re still wearing your goggles, for the sun.”
“Oh! Right.” Fluttershy blushed for a moment, reaching up to touch her eyewear. “Do you think we could lure it to some shade? I don’t see well in daylight anymore.”
’We can lead him on a chase. Tire him out a bit?’
“There aren’t too many tall buildings nearby, or trees. We could try leading it back to the forest for shade though.” Twilight suggested at pretty much the same time as Applejack spoke up in Alex’s head.
“Let’s drag it over towards Bon Bon’s Sweet Treats first. I need more party cannon charges from my emergency stash over there, and those ones have small snappers in them instead of just confetti.”
“Bon Bon’s it is!” Alex held Evolution out, expelling a blast of fire. “Come on, buggy boy! I’m over here!” Shooting off another bolt of fire, he began to move down the street. “I got all your honey right here, Yogi!”
He quickly realized that he didn’t quite need to make much of an effort to run, it just felt like everything physical was simply easier in this form, but that blast of fire had taken a considerable amount of concentration more than usual.
“Okay, note to self, strength does not do magic well.” Firing one last blast of fire, he focused on trying to recall where exactly Bon Bon’s shop was.
’Take a right after the third house, then it’s the one that has a bucket of candy for a sign on yer left.’ A feeling akin to being brushed with a feather went down their back at an odd angle, and was followed by a brief stinging sensation. ’Might wanna go just a mite faster there, Alex. Ah think that was a claw missin’ us by a hair.
“Jesus that thing is fast!” Alex put as much energy into his legs as he could, making his way through the streets of Ponyville. “How is it that fast on those tiny ass wings!?”
’Same way a timberwolf pulls itself back together when ya shatter it. Magic.’
“Yeah well sometimes magic suc-” The wind left his lungs as the bugbear’s arm slammed into his side. Tumbling off his feet, Alex skidded along the street until he finally came to a stop against a building. “...Ow.”
’Yeah, that hurts. Told ya t’speed up.’
“I was...”
“Alex!” Fluttershy cried out, and was standing over him almost immediately with her mouth open and a strained expression. The rest of the group all cried out and either grabbed at folded-back ears with their hooves or quickly cast a spell to shield them from something Alex couldn’t hear.
“What? What is happening?” Alex questioned, pushing himself up to his elbows.
The bugbear was clawing at its ears with its upper paws, and it finally bellowed out a roar of pain before swiping at Fluttershy, only for her to take a step back and a breath, followed by another seemingly-silent yell. The bugbear didn’t react as poorly this time, and swiped again much quicker while roaring again.
’Ah think yer mother figured out how to screech. Good to know that bat form didn’t just make things harder for her.’
Moving in front of Fluttershy, Alex guarded against another swipe, then quickly slashed at the bugbear’s stomach and down to ward away a chance of being stabbed by that stinger. “I get the feeling it’s going to be a long day.”
Alex paused to catch his breath in a small alley between two houses as the rest of the group continued fighting the bugbear. He wasn’t the first of them to take such a breather, and felt he fully deserved it as he rested his barrel-covered hands on the bark-like boots that covered up to his knees. “Holy crap, this thing has barely slowed down after the battering we’ve been giving it. Give me heartless and nobodies any day…”
’Ah thought you said Mac was a nobody? He ain’t gonna start attacking ponies randomly or somethin’ is he?’
“He is but nobodies aren’t mindless,” Alex responded, letting himself lean back against the wall. “He’s still himself... mostly, and he’s better off than unintelligent nobodies.” A noise began approaching from somewhere else, something that wasn’t fighting, and also definitely wasn’t natural.
’You hear that, Alex? What is that?’ Sounds like one of them there boomboxes.
“Yeah, I’m getting that too. It sounds kinda like someone threw Daft Punk and Lindsey Stirling into a blender and hit puree... wait, what?” Alex shook his head briefly. “Where the hell did that comparison come from?”
’Huh, looks like y’all got a bit of my countryisms in yer head for a while.’
“Ugh. I really hope that doesn’t stick around. The last thing I want now is for my combat enhancing ability to be the thing that’s making me act more feminine.”
’Ah really don’t think that’s somethin’ ta worry about with me, Alex. What’s that in the road? Some foal dropped a stuffed toy?’
Alex looked down slightly, his gaze centering on the thing AJ had taken note of peripherally. He took one step towards what looked like a toy stuffed shark before the music he’d been hearing rapidly increased in volume. Suddenly what looked like a speaker twice as tall as he was with a grey mare playing a cello standing on top of it flew through the air in the street, easily clearing the stuffed toy before passing out of sight behind the other building. “What the…”
“Oooh, they caught some air jumping the shark!” Screwball commented, hanging off Alex’s shoulder weightlessly. “I give it a ten!” She inexplicably bore slicked back hair and a black leather jacket.
“Gah! Screwball? What’re you doing here?” Alex jolted a bit from the unexpectedly close voice, but the fact that he knew who it was prevented anything more dangerous than jostling her around a bit as she floated.
“What? You think I wouldn’t be invited to something even daddy got an invitation to?” Giggling, she booped his nose, her hoof just phasing through the faceguard of his helmet to do so. “What a silly you are, Mister Sister.”
“Okay, fair point, but why do you look like a greaser?”
“Why do you look like a tree-knight? Did you take ‘getting wood’ too literally? You really don’t look ready for the wedding.”
“I... you... I…” Alex sputtered as he felt his face heat up. “That’s a mean joke, Screwy, but I’m like this because of the bugbear we’re trying to fight off. Discord said something about having to remake himself afterwards because of the power it was going to take. Can you help?”
“B-b-b-b-bugbear?” Screwball’s eyes widened as well as instantly going from normal-looking to full spiral. “Boring, bye!” She kicked away from the air in front of Alex’s face and dove through a nearby window without breaking it, only to vanish completely once she was on the other side.
’Ya know, Ah don’t speak crazy, but, somethin’ tells me she was mighty scared of that flying varmint.’
“Don’t insult my sister, Tree Kicker,” Alex responded, deciding he had had enough time to catch his breath. “Just make sure I can kick that thing’s ass, got it?”
’’Tain’t an insult ta be scared of somethin’, or ta be crazy, just what she is. As fer kickin’ ass, Ah think we can manage that, Alex.’
A roar sounded, coming from just down the road that the flying speaker had just travelled. “Sounds like that’s our cue to get moving.” Calling Aubade to his hand, he charged down the road, ready to swat an oversized bug.
Alex ran down the street, finding the run far easier than it should have been, even considering the relatively short distance it was, before he stumbled across a group of ponies gathered around Carousel Boutique, with Featherweight offering Alex a wave while standing next to a puddle of ink on the ground. Some ponies were watching the bugbear and his mother’s friends reenacting the ending of King Kong on the building, while a few others were staring down the road towards the direction of fading music.
“Uh, hey cousin!” Alex shouted up at the bugbear. “Why don’t you come down off the building and we can find your one true place. Please?”
’Now, Ah’m not one to discourage someone from connecting from family, but that thing is a monster, Alex.’
“Well you can’t blame me for trying if it works and stops this thing from wearing down Discord’s wards.” Alex responded before quickly lifting Aubade to deflect one of the decorative pony mockups that ringed one of the upper floors, splitting the metal fixture in half. “Too bad that idea’s a bust.”
’Let’s just go wrangle the big ol’ varmint and hogtie ‘im. Iffin’ he can’t move, he can’t cause no trouble.’
“Yeah? You got a rope strong enough to hold that thing?” Alex questioned, using his questionably-obtained jumping power to leap onto the lowest roof of Carousel Boutique. “Oh wait, you’re clothes at the moment.”
’Ah don’t see you havin’ any bright ideas!’
“Alex! Might want to stop arguing with yourself and help!” Rarity yelled from a higher balcony as she moved a cloud of sewing needles around the bugbear, jabbing at it with a number of them at any given moment. “Discord’s wards are wearing thin if it’s able to rip pieces off of my home!”
“Yeah, yeah! I got it!” Leaping up from point to point, Alex found himself opposite the bugbear. “Alright, come on you. Get off the dang roof!” Drawing his arm back, he hurled Aubade at its face.
“Don’t overreact, Rarity. Maybe the wards are focused more on preventing structural damage over superfluous decoration damage.” Twilight hurled her blade in at the arms the beast was holding onto the building with, and at the same time cast a spell that seemed to conjure a large pair of phantom hooves to buck the creature in the stomach.
One arm came up to deflect away the keyblade thrown at its head, but Twilight’s arm and gut strikes managed to get through by using the instinctual blocking reflex as a diversion. The bugbear teetered on the edge of the roof for a few seconds before the loud buzzing of its wings resumed as it flew back and down a few feet. This was accompanied by yet another enraged roar of pain, and then a swift upwards grab after Rainbow Dash crashed into the back of its head with all four hooves leading the strike.
“Let’s do something crazy!” Taking advantage of the situation, Alex pounced on the bugbear’s back, wrapping his arms around its neck. “I gotcha, Bug-Boy! Let’s do some rodeo shit!”
“Alex, no!” Fluttershy cried out from somewhere nearby, Alex couldn’t see to tell where exactly, but the bugbear did suddenly stop thrashing as she continued speaking in a harsh tone. “Now you listen to me, you angry beast. That’s my son on your back, and I am not going to forgive you for a moment if you hurt him! I know we’re hurting you and you’re just fighting back, but you came to our home and we’re just defending ourselves!”
Giving a thumbs up, Alex released one of his arms and draw Aubade back to it. “Just keep him still and I’ll bonk him on the head.” Shifting his position, his knee pressed against what was most assuredly not fur.
As Alex shifted, whatever effect Fluttershy’s Stare depended on was utterly broken and the bugbear began thrashing and roaring once again. Two hands began reaching around behind its back to claw at Alex while the other two began swinging at the ponies in front of and around it.
“Gah! Sorry, sorry, sorry!” Alex batted the beast’s hands away as well as he could without completely losing his grip on the bugbear. Dropping Aubade once more with a grumble of annoyance, he reached down with his left hand. “Please be The Lion and the Mouse. Please be Lion and the Mouse!” Wrapping his gauntleted hand around the offending object, he let out a cry and yanked it out.
Another roar, much louder this time, accompanied that pull, and the buzzing became somewhat erratic as a gush of red and yellow fluids began flowing out of the reopened wound. Alex felt the bugbear lurch and thrash again.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Alex soothed, pressing his hand against the wound. “I gotcha big guy. Cure,” he whispered, feeling the rush of fluid cease as the flesh knit itself back together.
“Sleep!” Twilight called out a few seconds later, followed immediately by both Alex and the bugbear being engulfed in a cloud of warm magenta sparkles and lowered carefully to the ground. The spell was obviously intended for the beast as Alex didn’t begin feeling tired at all outside of the combat exhaustion, but the body he was holding onto quickly stilled. “Alex, what in Celestia’s name are you thinking, casting cure on the thing we’ve been fighting!?”
“I’m sorry was I supposed to let my extended family bleed to death?” Alex questioned, holding up the object he had removed. It turned out to be a few inches of an arrow and the head, most likely broken in the bugbear’s attempts to remove it. “My arm is covered in gore for a reason, Purple Smart.”
“Wait, what? It was just an injured animal this whole time?” Rarity’s voice came from somewhere on the other side of the beast as it was lowered to the ground and Alex was finally able to let go without potentially falling. “Now I feel horrible for all those needles I was poking it with.”
“Uh, just an injured animal?” Rainbow Dash moved over to Alex’s side to pull him away gently. “Wonder why your mom didn’t think of that in the first place, kid. You’re not hurt or anything, are you?”
“Well, for one thing, Rainbow Dash, I’ve never even seen a bugbear before, nevermind had a chance to speak with one and get to know how they normally act. Even Discord was acting alarmed about it coming near, which made me think it was just naturally a more mean kind of animal in general. I also couldn’t see the injury, like I could when all of you were determined to attack the manticore with the thorn in its...paw…” Fluttershy’s voice faltered as she got closer to Alex and noticed that not all of the gore on his gauntlet was red. “Oh dear...that’s pus. Twilight, does combat healing magic do anything about infections?”
“I think... that would be Esuna,” Twilight said, stepping over to the bugbear. Concentrating her magic, she aimed her keyblade at the sleeping creature. “Esuna!” An aura spread over the bugbear’s body, seeping into its skin.
“Uh, Twilight. Esuna cures sleep!” Alex couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy as Twilight removed the sleep spell. “There’s no guarantee it’s going to be friendly right now just because I pulled out the arrooo!”
Rising up the, bugbear licked its chops, blinking the sleep from its eyes. Murmuring to itself, it grabbed up Alex in its lower arms; nuzzling and licking his head. Frowning, it tossed away his helmet before resuming its display of affection.
“This is the thing Discord was so afraid of?” Dash questioned, raising his eyebrow. “Wow, what a let down.”
“He did mention it wasn’t exactly the same breed. Maybe the original was more like a monster than an animal?” Fluttershy ventured, while carefully floating up to hover at head level to it and staying close to Alex.
Sniffing at her cautiously, the bugbear murmured again. Reaching with its upper arms, it pulled her out of the sky and closer to its head. It sniffed and licked at her, its wings buzzing idly on its back.
“Oh, okay, so you are friendlier than Discord thought you’d be when you don’t have an arrow jammed in your back. Um, could one of you girls scrape some of the pus off of Alex’s hand and bring it to the vet? Just in case magic didn’t do anything for the infection.”
“I got it!” Pinkie yelled while pulling a bright red cup from her mane. “Twilight, can you float this up? I’ll make the run. The wedding’s on the way to the vet.”
Almost all of them stared at Pinkie for a moment before yelling in unison. “The wedding!”
Meanwhile…
“What do you mean you left it on the counter?”
“Well, I thought you were bringing it.”
“Oh well, this is just wonderful. My daughter falls out of my mane in front of me whimpering and repeating herself over and over to the point where even I can’t get her to leave my side and you don’t think that might have disrupted the plan a little?” Celestia paused and smiled down at Spike as the drake lifted the gift from himself and Twilight onto the counter.
“Are you two having one of those sisterly conflicts again?” Discord wrapped his arms around their necks, wearing an easy smile despite his body looking somewhat emaciated and his limbs not quite fully connecting to his torso. “Didn’t the last one teach you girls anything?”
Celestia shuddered and squirmed a bit at the sudden and unexpected touch. “Off, off. Arm off the neck, now!” She took one look at him and grimaced while backing up a step. “Either you haven’t eaten a thing in millenia or you’re just now pulling yourself together from a huge power expenditure. I suppose you’re why my ears are ringing?”
“Oh, your ears are ringing too, sister? I thought that was just me.”
“Mommy!” Screwball moved out from huddling under Celestia’s barrel, and wrapped all four legs around Discord’s slender frame. “Evilbee!”
“Shh... it’s okay,” Discord soothed, rubbing her head with his paw. “I’m here, and your father’s here. You’re as safe as you could possibly be right now, dear.” He looked back up, one eye half-closed. “So, one of you forgot the gift, I’m guessing?”
“She forgot it,” Luna insisted, sticking her nose up. “I was under no such impression that I was to be the bearer of the gift. I handled the gift for Cadance and Shining Armor.”
“Well I think I have enough strength in me to solve this problem before it becomes embarrassing.” Discord snapped with his talon and then reached off to the side, with his arm vanishing after a certain point before a gift wrapped in deep blue paper with a shining sun and crescent moon emerged from thin air as he pulled his arm back. “There we go and... oh dear. Screwball, could you pop home to Fluttershy’s and get the neon green box off the living room table for me? I’m going to be useless for the rest of the day, I think.”
Alex smoothed his dress down, feeling a giddy thrill tingling in his belly. It was a strange experience, wearing the dress without Sonata being with him. None of the urge to twirl or take photos was there, though he still found that he had a bit of a skip to his step.
Discord leaned down and whispered something into Fluttershy’s ear which caused the yellow mare to giggle softly. “Discord, no teasing tonight unless someone asks for it. I know you like your pranks, but Twilight’s been helping plan this gala and I want it to go smoothly.”
“Oh fine, dear. Have it your way. I’ll restrict my meddling to making nobles start mooing like cows if I feel like they’re annoying me.” He carefully brushed a leaf off of the shoulder of his orange suit as they all walked towards Snails’ house to pick up Alex’s date.
Screwball smiled, hanging off Discord’s shoulder. “Mister Sister is so excited. Have good time night~”
“You know, Screwy, you could try calling him Alex more often.” Discord teasingly flicked his tail up against Screwball’s back. “I know you have your less rational moments, but nicknames aren’t always fitting.”
“Alex doesn’t mind, does he?” Screwball asked, looking down at her younger sibling. “Is nickname okay?”
“I’ll let you know if it bothers me, Screwball. I actually like it most of the time, because it reminds me of some old music videos for a cool band, Twisted Sister.” Alex smiled as he thought about the videos. “Always the same older angry guy not liking what kids were doing. I guess they seemed relatable for a depressing reason, but they were fun.”
“I’m sorry, Alex.” Having left her perch, Screwball hugged Alex from behind. “Big Sister will make sure your date goes super well!”
Alex couldn’t help but blush a little at the ‘d’ word. “It’s not a real date. I just got an extra ticket and he’s the only friend I have other than Sonata, and I’m sure she’d have gotten her own invitation.”
“It’s okay, big sister understands.” Nodding her head, Screwball kissed the back of his head. “No need to be obtuse.”
“I’m not being obtuse, I just want to make sure I don’t push people I like away from me like I did for years because... nevermind. I’m not going to think of him tonight. I want to enjoy myself, have as good a time as I possibly can at a stuffy party.”
Screwball nodded. “Big sister will make sure party is fun and um...” she pouted and looked back at Discord. “Chaosy?”
“I’d say keep the chaos to a level that won’t cause your father a headache. Annoy the nobility by doing things no earth pony should be able to, but no big light shows, and keep a leaf or two of poison joke at hoof in case you feel a fit coming on.” He nodded sagely and smiled down at the two of them.
“Aye, aye, Captain!” Screwball pushed away with a gentle shove, pointing to the building ahead of them. “Go ahead Mister Sister, your date awaits!”
“He’s not my date!” Alex hissed, his face turning cherry red. “Just let me go get him, okay?” Smoothing his dress out, Alex muttered to himself and made his way to the front door. Taking in a breath, he gave a few solid knocks on the door.
The door opened up a few seconds later, with a larger-than-average brick-colored stallion standing in the doorway. “Oh, you must be Alex. Snails mentioned you had an exotic look to you, but I wasn’t expecting a miniature minotaur. Name’s Hightower.” He offered a hoof for Alex to shake.
“I’m a human,” Alex stated, taking Hightower’s hoof and shaking it. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Hightower.” Clearing his throat, he took his hand back. “Is Snails ready?”
“Bah, just Hightower’s fine. Snails is just, ah, well his mom’s helping with the bowtie.” He smiled and stepped aside from the doorway as his ears flicked back briefly. “And his mom’s trying to convince him to give you some flowers she bought.”
“Oh, really?” Alex asked, feeling his face heat up more. “He doesn’t have to do that.” Stepping inside, Alex took a quick look around. It was a nice little home, rather cozy with lots of weather themed decorations.
“Oh believe me, he knows he doesn’t. His mom just has this thing about wanting to impress his first fillyfriend, being generous, and she doesn’t want him to give you something he made instead, because she’s silly.” Hightower looked out the door and motioned for the rest of Alex’s family to come on in, only for Discord to shake his head.
“I’d rather stay out here, but thank you.”
Alex stumbled over a reply, his mind trying to process a response. He eventually settled on a nod, not trusting his mouth to speaking intelligently.
“Alex is a little nervous too,” Fluttershy said, following in behind him. “He’s getting a bit tongue tied.”
“Eh, it’s fine. We’re all a little clumsy about things when we’re young.” Hightower thought back a bit and his eyes shot wide open after a few seconds. “Oh, I’m sorry, I completely forgot about something. I think I owe you an apology, Fluttershy. You grew up in Cloudsdale, right?”
“I did,” Fluttershy said with a nod.
“Right, well, I thought so. Summer flight camp, fourteen years ago? I’m sorry for laughing at you. Kids can be cruel, and being a parent now I know that wasn’t the right thing to do.”
Fluttershy blinked, genuinely surprised. “Oh my, you were one of those colts? Well, don’t feel too bad about it. It was wrong, but it helped me find my special talent.”
“Hey, my kid’s getting called a ‘slowpoke’ by a classmate of his. It just wasn’t sitting well with me feeling upset about that when I knew I’d teased a classmate of mine for having a similar issue with their innate magic coming slow or weak to them. You need any work done on your house and I’ll help out at a minimal cost, alright?”
Offering a soft smile, Fluttershy nodded. “Well, I don’t think we’ll need any work on the house done but... I do have something else in mind. Maybe we could talk about it this weekend?”
“Sure, but if it’s bigger than a small project I’d need to consult with my boss about making time for it, or possibly making it a bigger job, then we have to work out scheduling...but we’ll burn that bridge after we cross it.”
“Oh, ummm, you’re here already…” Snails’ slow, drawling voice came from the doorway behind Alex. “Wow... your dress, it’s... wow.”
“Oh my stars, that dress simply must be photographed. Go on and stand next to your date, Snails.” This voice was similarly slow, but at a much higher pitch than Snails’ tone. Seems his speech issue was an inherited thing.
“Thank’s...” Alex muttered, shyly brushing a few strands of hair out of his face. “You look nice too...” Alex turned to look at Snails, giving the best smile he could give.
Snails blushed, and quickly walked up to Alex’s side while his mother raised a camera and took a picture of them together, with Alex in his copy of the dress Sonata became and Snails wearing what looked like a baby-blue tuxedo. Snails’ mane and tail were brushed and styled a little differently than usual, and he seemed nervous. “Alright, the two of you say ‘lightning!’”
“Lightning!”
“L-Lightning!”
The camera flashed a few times, creating a quick strobe effect before the blue mare set the camera down. “Alright, you two go have as much fun as you can tonight. Snails can sleep over at your place if things end up running too late and you don’t have the time to get him home.”
“You know, you could at least introduce yourself, darling.”
“Oh, right. I forget the silliest things when I’m excited. I’m Polar Vortex, and I’m the winter weather specialist here in Ponyville. I’m sure you’re going to love this winter, Alex. It’s planned to be mild except for a blowout of a blizzard after Hearth’s Warming so there’ll be a ton of snow for the weekend.”
“I’m Alex, it’s nice to meet you,” Alex responded, recovering his composure. “Winter’s always been a little... difficult for me.”
“Oh, well I’m sorry to hear that. Was the weather management not as good where you used to live, or is it a cold thing?”
“Mooooom, you can ask Alex about things like that later. We have a party to get to.”
Hightower snickered and pulled his wife into a hug with his wing. “You kids get going. I’ll keep her from following you.”
“Oh you know I wouldn’t dare…”
“Come on, Alex. We don’t want to be late.” Taking Alex’s hand in his magic, Snails bade his parents goodbye. Beating a hasty exit, Snails led Alex outside and a bit away from his home. “Sorry... my mom can be a little... clingy, and insistent.”
“She didn’t seem that bad to me. A little overly eager to see you getting along with a ‘filly’ but-”
“You didn’t grow up with her, or have to listen to her gushing about me being invited to the gala by a classmate, or have to tell her a hundred times that you wouldn’t like flowers, since you can’t snack on them after they stop smelling great.”
“Ah, it’s fine.” Alex smoothed out his dress, noting that it appeared to be the start of a nervous tic. “I’m glad you like the dress. I think it’s my favorite non-t-shirt and jeans outfit I have.”
“It’s very pretty. I didn’t expect you to already have some shell jewelry though.” He stopped as they got back to Discord and Screwball, swallowing nervously as he looked up. “Uh...hi.”
Leaning down, Discord greeted Snails with a smile. “Hello there, young man. I like the color of your suit, contrasts nicely with your colors. Are you looking forward to tonight?”
“I-uh, I’m hoping to enjoy the gala, with Alex, yes. Um, thank you, sir.”
“Dissy, don’t intimidate the poor dear,” Fluttershy chided gently as she rejoined the group. “I want you two to have a fun night, okay? If you need anything just let either of us or any of our friends know, okay?”
“Y-yes miss Fluttershy.” Snails responded quickly, offering her a somewhat more relaxed smile. “I like your ears, by the way. The extra fluff is cool.”
“Aw, thank you, Snails,” Fluttershy replied. “I know this might sound a bit out of the blue but, have you ever teleported before?”
“No, not intentionally, or that I can remember anyways. I’m guessing we’re not going by a coach, then?” He looked from Fluttershy to Alex to Discord. “It’s not going to hurt is it?”
“Only if you scream. Try holding your breath the first time just to avoid that.”
“Mommy, bad teasing. You and I know he should keep breathing.”
“It’ll be fine,” Alex assured, putting a hand on Snails’ back. “Just close your eyes and we’ll be in Canterlot.”
“Oh, not quite, Alex. It’s going to be two teleports. We’re stopping to pick up my distant friend Tree Hugger on our way, remember?”
“Right, right, but that’ll take long enough if it doesn’t agree with him that he can recover.”
“Dad, enough with the teasing about teleporting. I’ve never felt anything other than a little flutter in my stomach and a moment of weightlessness. It’s fine.”
Discord smiled, putting an arm around Alex. “Aw, you called me dad.” Holding his talon up, he snapped his fingers, whisking the group across the country.
“Do we really have to have this dude announce us?” Alex whispered to Fluttershy as they were escorted through the halls of Canterlot Castle. “Seems a bit... much.”
“It’s me.” Screwball sighed and adjusted the simple woven hat that had replaced her normal propeller beanie after arriving in Canterlot, though her dress had remained the same white gown with all kinds of colored splotches decorating it. “Every so often, daddy feels he needs to remind the nobles that I exist.” She sounded sad, and more normal and serious than Alex had ever really heard before. “Everyone gets announced at the gala, sweetheart,” Discord countered, petting her head. “I know you don’t like it but you’re an important part of the royal family and yes, sometimes the nobles have to be reminded about who the heir to the throne is.”
“Wait, heir to the throne?”
Alex snickered. “Snails, my older sister here is Celestia’s only child from, like, a thousand years ago, with Discord. She’s just like any other pony to me though, maybe slightly scarier when she sneezes.”
“I don’t always sneeze glitter explosions!”
“So, wait, you’re, like, the heir to Celestia? Far out.”
The friendly banter was interrupted as a more fancily dressed stallion approached. “Excuse me, are you entering as a group?”
“What do you mean?” Fluttershy blinked, looking over her shoulder at Tree Hugger and Alex on one side. “Introductions have always been individual before other than the rare occasion that an entire family... oh.”
“We don’t have to figure out a family name right now on the spot, Fluttershy. We haven’t even decided to make it a formal arrangement yet after all.” Discord waved his paw ahead. “You can go in first with Alex if you want, and then Screwball and I will follow if you want to keep things simple and not hold up anypony behind us.”
“Ah, so you would be the Element of Kindness, and her son, the Keyblade Knight Alex Lionheart?” The stallion looked from Fluttershy to Snails, then frowned and double-checked a list of guests that hadn’t arrived yet. “Odd, we have you marked as a normal pegasus rather than a thestral, and your son looks like a normal unicorn, not…”
“I’m Alex,” Alex interrupted, holding back a sharp tone. “This is my friend, Snails.”
“Oh, right. Sorry, it’s just...nevermind. I’m guessing there’s some kind of cultural thing I’m not briefed on. My apologies. So Fluttershy, element of kindness, her guest would be…”
“Tree Hugger. Breezy enthusiast and botanist. You look like you need a little salt to mellow out later.”
“Right, much later...” Clearing his throat, he gestured to the ornate door at the end of the hall. “If you’re ready.”
“I think we’re ready.” Fluttershy fluffed her wings before taking the lead. “Don’t be nervous, alright? It’ll just be a few seconds of having the room’s eyes on you, then you can vanish into the crowd.” Whether she was talking to herself or the others, not even she knew.
“You’re a knight? That’s really cool!” Snails whispered, looking up at Alex. “You didn’t tell me that.”
“Hey, I didn’t know I was one either. At least not one in Equestria,” Alex whispered back. Straightening up when they doors started to open, he took in a breath and walked as gracefully as he could out into the room.
“Keyblade Knight indicates that you’re a wielder of the weapon but not yet a master. It’s something Celestia came up with long ago to make a distinction between teacher and student.” Discord remarked. “It still marks you as more important than, oh, all the nobility amongst those who know of the heartless or nobodies.”
The stallion leading them moved to stand by the doors and lifted up a trumpet. Playing a short note, he took in a breath. “Introducing the Element of Kindness, Lady Fluttershy, her son, Keyblade Knight Alex Lionheart, and their guests; Tree Hugger and Snails.”
“Like... I’m a botanist, man,” Tree Hugger complained softly, but allowed Fluttershy to guide her down the steps and into the room.
“Snails... people are staring at me.” Lifting his dress up ever so slightly, Alex made his way down the stairs. “I feel like a monkey in the zoo.”
“It’s okay, Alex.” Snails followed slightly behind Alex, his horn glowing as he did his best to keep the hem of the dress from dragging on the stairs behind Alex. “I’ve never seen so many unicorns in one place before, so it’s new things for both of us. Just...pretend they’re all other students from the first week in school, when you were still a new sight.”
“Yeah... I can do that...” Alex nodded, sucking in a breath. “I got you with me, so, stuff can’t be that bad, right?” Shooting a weak smile, he gave a small, aimless, thankful prayer that high heels had never been invented in this world.
“Announcing Discord, Lord of Randomness and Chaos.” The stallion called out from the top of the stairs, and Alex could almost feel the majority of the stares shift away from him at that, and he also noticed a few frowns in the crowd once they’d stopped moving down and he didn’t have to pay attention to the shorter step height.
“You’ll be fine, Alex. What’s the worst that could happen here?”
“A lot of things, Snails. A lot of things.”
“Announcing the sole heir to the solar throne and the biggest contributor to the Equestrian orphanage system, Princess Pandemonium!”
Nearly all speech stopped in the room as Screwball walked through the doorway behind the stallion, and Alex noticed more than a few faces twist away from curiosity to something a little darker. “Oh, some of them really look like they didn’t like that.”
“If your sister is like your dad, I bet she’ll be fine,” Snails assured, letting go of Alex’s dress. “How about we go to the snack table and get something to munch on?”
“You sure your stomach’s settled back down?” Alex teased gently.
“It was just a burp, seriously.” Giving him his trademarked goofy smile, Snails began to lead Alex towards the refreshment table, following his nose to get them there. “I got a pretty sturdy stomach. Must come from eating fish so often.”
Perhaps unsurprisingly, a great majority of the available snacks were plant-based, but Snails was able to help him identify the ingredients in most of them so they were able to find a few that seemed safe for both of them out of those. A smaller table to the side featured fish and more protein-based snacks, including a large platter of bacon-wrapped fish treats, and shellfish of all kinds.
“Seafood is good,” Alex commented, filling up a small plate. “Oddly appropriate.” Chuckling, he tossed a shrimp into his mouth. “Pretty good too. Needs cocktail sauce though.”
“Oh, shells, right.” Snails looked away from the table after spotting a plate of stuffed clams, and he pulled a thin box out of one of his suit pockets and held it up for Alex with his telekinesis. “I uh, I made you something with some parts of my collection. I avoided things like cicada shells because they’re too fragile.”
Taking the box, Alex felt a flutter in his stomach. “And now I wish I had made you something.” Gingerly reaching a hand up, he popped open the box and gazed down into it. “Wow, you made this, Snails?”
“I uh, yeah. I couldn’t get anything sturdier than kite string to hold it all together, or really get a good way to adjust the size, but...um...I also didn’t know some of them would go so well with your dress.”
Lifting a necklace out of the box, Alex took in every detail. The necklace was made of carefully-knotted string to hold various shells in their place. Some were small, and others were larger, with the largest ones being either large snail shells cut so the inner spiral could be seen, or a strange kind of shell that looked like a rock on one side, with the other having an almost metallic finish. Most of those were cobalt, but a few were silver. Smaller snail shells were interspersed between the larger ones, many bright yellow in color, but a few were white with pink or orange stripes along their spirals.
“This is... really pretty...” Alex closed the box, putting it away in a secret pocket. Taking the necklace in both hands, he slipped it around his neck. “Thanks, this really means a lot.” Feeling like his face was on fire, he struck a small pose. “How does it look?”
“I-it... it looks better than I thought it would on you.” Snails looked down and away quickly, blushing again. “I know you don’t really like being a girl, Alex, but you are pretty.”
“I-it’s not that I don’t like being a girl... It’s just...” A frown grew across Alex’s face as he attempted to find the right words. “One part of me thinks one way and another part thinks a different way. That make any sense?”
Snails shifted uncomfortably. “I think so. Like, I mostly think of you as a friend, but another part of me feels like there’s other things we could be.”
Kneeling down, Alex shifted his frown into a smile. “Hey, I didn't mean to make things weird. I asked you to the gala as a filly and that’s what I am tonight. If... if things turn out like that, then, we’ll go from there, okay?”
“Okay, and my dad says there’s no reason a fillyfriend can’t also be a friend who happens to be a filly anyways.” Snails turned back to Alex with a smile on his face once more, and he took a step forward to hug Alex with one hoof while laying his head on Alex’s shoulder. “I’d be fine with that too, I think.”
“We’ll just... see that happens, okay?” Alex asked, returning the hug. The contact brought a fresh warmth to his face and a quickening of his heart.
’Bleh. Just put me out of my misery. I can’t stand your sea of hormones. Why did I have to worm my way into a filly who doesn’t even understand her own gender?’
Alex ignored that voice in his head, and held the hug for a few more seconds before trying to stand back up and straighten out his dress. “Okay, we’ve got some snacks, we’ve got a room full of stuffy nobles and no real music yet...what say we find a corner and start making fun of snooty people?”
Snails gave Alex a light jab on the leg. “It’s called pony watching, Alex. Let’s do it!” Looking around, his eyes lit up. “I think that table’s free.”
“Lead the way, oh great orange one.” Giggling to himself, Alex followed behind Snails. “You pony watch a lot?”
“It’s something Snips and I used to do a lot to feel like we were getting back at Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, or their parents.” Weaving through the slightly crowded ballroom. “It’s... a little sad.”
“Making fun of a shared bully with a friend? Eh, I’ve heard of worse things to do to feel a little better.” Alex made sure to hold their plate of snacks above pony-head-level as they moved as quickly as they could through the growing crowd.
Discord swirled the glass in his paw, watching the pale amber liquid swirl around. “Needs a little... something,” he commented to no one in particular as he sipped at it. “Not sure what though.... What goes good with apple cider?”
Holding up his other hand, he cycled through various additives. “Hm... jell-o? No, I’m not in college. Vanilla? Nah! Pear? Hmm... that might work actually...” Holding the pear above the glass, he squeezed the juice out and set a pear slice on the edge.
“You should add some powdered cinnamon first next time.” Celestia’s voice came from behind Discord, followed quickly by a gentle swat at his tail. “And how long has it been since you trimmed this piece of fluff? I remember it being smaller.”
“I’ll have you know, Fluttershy likes it as it is.” Discord put on a snotty face and lightly sipped at his drink. “She thinks it cuddles well.”
“Oh, well in that case you should clean it better…” She burst into giggles halfway through the last word. “Okay, I can’t keep up the displeased noble act with you, not when we have so much history together.”
“When, exactly, did you suddenly become okay being this close to me, Celly? The last time I saw you you yelled at me to get my arm off of you, and the next thing I know I’m getting a special delivery with a ticket and an apology letter for it arriving so late.”
Celestia took a moment to answer, pouring herself a drink. “When I asked Fluttershy to ‘reform’ you, I thought she’d be able to curb your more disruptive behaviors. When I heard you and her were dating, I almost flew down to Ponyville myself to give her a firm warning. But, I figured she was an adult and could make her own decisions.” Taking a long drink, she smiled. “I don’t think it really clicked that you were changing for the better until I realized how close you and Alex have become. Fatherhood suits you well, when you’re not caught in a game of back and forth kidnapping.”
“So it had nothing to do with seeing me all emaciated and drained of energy the other day? That’s honestly the only thing I could think of recently that would have prompted it.”
“Well, I won’t say that wasn’t part of it,” Celestia admitted. “Seeing you so worn out from keeping Ponyville safe, using that last bit of free energy to bring a forgotten gift to us. You have changed for the better Discord, I’m sorry I didn’t acknowledge it sooner.”
“Ah, well, thank you for that. I guess admitting that you might be wrong can be hard when it happens so rarely.” He took a small sip of his own drink and smiled. “So I take it we can converse civilly at least, but perhaps we haven’t yet reconciled to the point of touching, judging from your reaction?”
“Give it time, Discord.”
“It helps that time is one thing both of us have in abundance. Maybe once Fluttershy passes we could try to reconcile for Screwball’s sake?” Discord frowned and shook his head. “Assuming I don’t try to find a certain someone to see about remedying that problem, that is.”
Celestia clicked her tongue. “I know Mortis is easygoing, but I don’t know if he’ll bend rules that easily for you. Alicorn immortality is one thing, but out of nowhere? That’d be a tough sell.”
“You don’t think he’d be willing if it meant that a niece or nephew wouldn’t lose their mother?” He stopped and hummed in thought. “Did you ever take Screwball to meet him? I honestly can’t remember if we ever did that back then. A thousand years in stone, I think I still have some sediments mixed in with my sentiments…”
“We did, when we visited King Bullion.” Topping her drink off, she did the same for Discord. “She makes sure to visit passed family on birthdays and a few holidays.”
“She’s lost so many. I feel bad about that, and she only had you for comfort for so long. Do they all still get unfortunate names?”
“Thankfully, it seems to be on an off generation. We went from Spoiled Milk to Diamond Tiara. She was very happy about that.”
Discord started coughing mid-sip, and he placed his glass down on thin air to reach into his mouth and pull out a baseball. “Did you say Diamond Tiara? Hoo boy, that would throw Alex a curveball to hear.”
Celestia giggled. “Perhaps I’ll suggest a genealogy project to Ponyville’s school. Just imagine the look on that little filly’s face when she finds out who the matriarch of her family is?”
“Well, it’s just that the little filly is a bit of a bully. Alex has complained about her a few times, and she apparently angered Snails enough by constantly calling him a ‘slowpoke’ that he ended up casing Balloon on her. The damaging version, by accident, instead of the version that makes you float helplessly. I thought you had stamped out that tribal superiority nonsense ages ago, Celly.”
“I try, Discord, but ponies are entitled to their thoughts and opinions.” Celestia sighed, downing her drink in a single gulp. “Perhaps she’ll calm down if she were to find out that Alex and herself were family?”
“Not a blood relation, and I’m not technically married to Fluttershy just yet. I’m trying to figure out how to properly phrase the question to someone a thousand times younger than I am without bringing up the fact that I’ll outlive her unless one of my estranged family members steps in on my behalf...without lying.” Discord smirked as a thought crossed his mind. “And do you think it would make a pony like that better or worse to learn that she could trace her family to one of the immortal princesses?”
“That is a good question,” Celestia said making a face. “I’d hope it’d make them better, but given what I’ve heard about Diamond Tiara from Luna, I can only imagine she’d get worse.”
“Exactly. If not for your stunt with Screwball tonight, that report might have dead-ended with the first glance at my name and a little buried work while she focused on her father’s side of the family.”
Glancing out at the gala, Celestia enjoyed the light buzz starting to fall over her. “Family isn’t all about blood, Discord. As far as I’m concerned, Alex is Screwball’s brother, just as he is your son. As I recall, you always wanted one of those.”
“Were it anyone but you, I’d swear they were making a joke at my expense with that remark. Do you still have a thing for cakes? I believe I smell a reason to hit the desserts a bit early.”
Celestia bit back a snort, whacking him with a wing. “Oh that is low! You don’t hear me bringing up your odd predilection with fish sticks.”
“Fish fingers, my dear, and I swear they really do go well with custard. This silly stallion in a bowtie introduced me to the idea long ago.”
“Ah yes, I remember you telling me about that. Didn’t you mention he was ‘friends’ with a pineapple?”
“Is that what they’re telling young colts to do these days? There are enzymes in raw pineapple that break down certain proteins in meat, you know. Might lead to some painful issues... is that why your ‘nephew’ is a royal prick?”
Bursting into guffaws, Celestia had to set her drink on the table behind them. “I forgot how sharp your wit was, when you put the effort in.”
“Certainly sharper than most keyblades, but it’s my blunt metaphors that tend to lead to trauma.” He reached into a pocket on his suit and pulled out a handful of bits before tossing them into the air and producing a platter of pastries on the table as they vanished. “Teacakes have become a guilty pleasure of mine lately. Something sweet after cucumber sandwiches, and so easy to add random fillings. I say we both take some time to enjoy something a bit more rustic while we chat about what’s going on with heartless and nobodies, and why you should consider either finding or forging a new keyblade somehow. I’m sure you’ve heard of the Nightmare Night incident by now.”
Turning her head away, Celestia quelled the growing tempest in her chest. “I can’t, Discord. I renounced Aubade for a reason. I can’t be a wielder anymore.” Levitating her glass to her mouth, she slammed her drink. “What I have been doing is contacting the various masters.” Her features turned downcast as a name passed her lips. “Faust damn that Aspen.”
“The deer are still blind to the fact that people outside the forest all falling to darkness means there will be that much more for them to fight off, eh? Unless every single deer on the planet is secretly a keyblade user, that’s not going to work out for them.”
Allowing him to take her empty glass, Celestia began to vent a week’s worth of frustrations. “I hate to believe in stereotypes, Discord, but the deer seem to want to live up to the ones about them. Always sneering at everyone else, like they’re better than them. Aspen acts like he owns the Faust-damned forest, riling up the animals so they harass any who enter.” Celestia let out a primal whinny, finishing it off by snorting out a puff of smoke.
“... Have you considered telling the nobles that do nothing to better Equestria that there’s a private resort in there? It might help thin the herd a bit so you can separate the cream from the curds.”
The look Celestia shot him could melt lead. “Just pour me my damn drink, Discord.”
Discord smiled and casually twisted the tip of one of his talons off before pouring a bubbling rainbow liquid out into the glass. “Still resisting the path that would shake things up and agitate a stagnant system. Ah well, I suppose the casual callousness involved is distasteful to anyone that hasn’t been imprisoned for a millenium. I remember the days when a noble heir still had to earn their title, my dear. Stopping that was a mistake.”
“If I could reverse it, I would.”
Discord smiled and handed the glass back, placing it a safe distance from the edge of the table. “Zap Apple special reserve brandy. Nurse that carefully, it has a stronger kick than the two younger adults on the farm combined. By the way, I notice a few nobodies scattered around the ballroom... security detail from Lee?”
“More or less,” Celestia admitted, taking a small sip. A cough erupted from her throat, along with a few blinks. “That is strong.”
“I’ve had a few stronger things pass my lips, but this is by far the tastiest.” Discord offered a wink at Celestia as he filled his own glass. “Any rekindling has to be approved by Fluttershy, by the way, and I’m not asking her.”
Celestia blushed, and quickly frowned. “Ugh, mares. Even if I did consider you worthy of forgiveness, I don’t think I’m ready to go that far just yet, and certainly not ready to do something with another mare.”
“You couldn’t keep your hooves off me when I was pregnant and you know it.”
“You’re a unique case, Discord. You’re chaos incarnate. I’m still not convinced that you even have a set sex other than what you choose to be at the moment.”
Discord grinned, giving an exaggerated wink. “I can’t give you all my secrets, Celestia. I have to maintain my mysterious charm. How else do you think I keep Fluttershy interested?”
“Ever the cunning linguist, Discord…” Celestia sighted and plucked one pastry from the platter Discord had summoned. “Drop whatever obscuring effect you cast around us already before rumors start flying about us both having vanished from the room at the same time.”
Screwball sprinkled some rock candy on the fancy little cracker nestled on her hoof. Once enough of the sparkling candy pebbles stuck to the toppings, she popped it into her mouth. “Mmm! Almost as good as crack corn!”
Movement caught her eye and she turned with a bright smile. “Hello, fellow guest! Enjoying the festivities?”
“First heir to the Solar Throne, and you call yourself a guest?” A smooth, almost slimy, but cultured voice spoke as a white-coated and golden-maned unicorn walked up next to her. “Auntie Celestia certainly hasn’t been teaching you your proper place, it seems.” Two champagne flutes floated beside him, surrounded in a light-blue aura, and one was quickly offered to Screwball.
“Oh, thank you!” Taking it in her hoof, she grinned ear to ear. “Are you that cuzzy wuzzy Daddy talks about?”
“I might be, but that depends on who your father is. My name is Prince Blueblood.” He flashed a smile at Screwball and raised a hoof to brush his hair back. “I hope it was all appropriately flattering.”
Screwball stared at him for a moment before booping his nose. “No flirting with family, silly cousin. No matter the distance, inbreeding is not okay.” Lifting her glass, she took a sip. “Yummy.”
“Oh I doubt we’re actually family, but...we could change that.” Blueblood rubbed his nose for a moment before smiling once more. “I have been trying to find a mare of impeccable breeding, and with Celestia being your mother, well, genes don’t get much better than that.”
Leaning in close, she gave him a sniff. With practiced ease, she grabbed his head, dragging her tongue across his face. “Wait... That’s familiar...Tastes like... Powdered Wig.”
“Gah! Get your hooves off of me, and what does my great-great-great-grandfather have to do with anything?”
Releasing his head, Screwball smiled. “Not cousin! Grandson!” Gripping him in a hug, she nuzzled his neck.
“Wait what? Unhoof me at once!” Blueblood began to struggle and squirm, trying to free himself from her grip.
“Powdered Wig was husband, didn’t like him. Had a foal, Noble Heart. Sweet filly. Liked to prank with me.” Screwball let him go, her glass still held in her hoof without having spilled a drop. “I miss her a lot.”
“Wait... I was…” Blueblood’s face curled up a little and his glass was quickly set down on a servant’s tray. “Excuse me, I think I need to go have some far stronger drinks to forget all about this.”
“Ah, it’s okay. Granny forgives you.” Screwball pat his back. “Didn’t know of familial relations!”
Blueblood shuddered and quickly walked away. “Yes, quite. I’ll try to remember that detail at least. Eugh.”
“Bye!” Screwball called after him. “What a silly grandson.”
“I say, that’s the first time I think I’ve ever seen that stallion regret something that didn’t end up with him covered in cake or dirt.” A different white stallion walked up and dipped his head slightfully towards Screwball, as did the slender pink-maned mare next to him. “A pleasure to meet you at last, Princess Pandemonium. My name is Fancy Pants, and this is my wife, Fleur de Lis.”
Screwball waved, looking between them. “Nice to meet you! You can call me Screwball. Are you enjoying Daddy’s party?”
Fleur nodded and giggled softly. “It’s certainly a little more interesting than the Gala usually is, thought it will be hard to top what happened last year. I couldn’t help but hear you mention your father earlier, and Fancy and I were wondering if you could tell us about him? I mean, nobody has known for years why Princess Celestia does this, but you say it’s your father’s party.”
“Yes, and Blueblood is apparently your grandson with a few greats thrown in for good measure? Is this party in honor of your father’s death, or his birthday, or is he still alive too and your mother’s been keeping him a secret for centuries?”
The questions seemed to throw Screwball through a loop, her eyes opening and closing a few times. “Daddy’s right there.” She pointed a hoof at Celestia, who was talking to a rather excited Twilight.
“Wait... but... that’s Princess Celestia herself, and Princess Twi...light…” Fancy Pants trailed off and looked from Fleur to Screwball in confusion, then back to Celestia and Twilight. “Are you saying Twilight is somehow your father? That... that seems utterly impossible.”
Screwball giggled, sticking her tongue out. “Nu-uh! Celestia is my daddy!” Leaning in close, she gestured for them to close the distance. “Her name was Celestine.”
Fleur seemed confused, as did Fancy Pants as they looked at each other then back to Screwball. “Wait...so Princess Celestia is your father then, and used to go by a different name? Your mother isn’t Princess Luna, is she? This is already strange enough, it wouldn’t surprise me.”
“That’s silly. No strange sisterly love, just chaos,” Screwball corrected. “Mommy is Discord.”
“Oh good, so they are just sisters…” Fancy paused as the second thing Screwball said registered in his mind, and Fleur began blushing and giggling.
“Your mother is... Discord? So... Discord and Celestia used to be an item?”
“Uh huh. Mommy’s with Fluttershy now, though. I like her a lot. Even got a Mister Sister!”
“Oh, so that strange creature that walked in with her and that colt is your sister?”
“Fleur, dear, Keyblade Knight.... funny, but I can’t recall the name. The title seems quite important though.”
“Alex, but he’s a boy but also a girl,” Screwball explained. “Um... hard to explain, easier to say Mister Sister.”
“A product of your mother’s chaos, I assume? Something as strange as a being with a mix of male and female would be his progeny.”
“Oh, no, that kinda mix-up is more my aunt’s thing. I don’t wanna talk about her right now, though.” Screwball made a face. “Alex is adopted.”
“Oh, so he’s... huh.”
“Fancy, dear, no need to be rude about it. If you have questions about the Knight we can always go ask him ourselves. It would be more reliable than getting it through his older sister, no offense, Princess, but we all know that direct sources are more reliable.” Maybe you could tell us a bit more about yourself?” Fleur smiled at Screwball and signaled for one of the walking servers to bring over some drinks. “What was it like to have Celestia for a father, and how long ago was it?”
Alex giggled, shaking his head. “Seriously? You lured a giant bear into town? That seems like a really bad idea. Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
Snails blushed, his ears splaying back. “Well... It’s a pretty embarrassing story. Snips and I got so caught up in Trixie’s hype that we just... did it...”
“How,” Alex paused and took a deep breath to steady himself before starting to giggle again anyways. “How did you even know there was one in the Everfree if she was bragging about a different town?”
“Oh, it was one of the dangers the class was told about years ago. One of the first classes in school was to teach us why our parents never wanted us in the Everfree alone.” Snails blushed deeper and looked down at the table. “Mom was mad that I went in with him, but dad just laughed because it meant more work, repairing the damage.”
“Bet it was a heck of a run back into town.” Alex sat back in his chair, managing to get a handle on his giggles. “Pretty brave of you, letting a giant bear chase you.”
“Uh, there’s a difference between letting it chase me and running away from it? Luring it was what we meant to do, but I was just running in fear after it roared. ‘Course... then we found out Trixie was lying about what she could do.”
Alex shrugged. “I think it was brave. Dumb, but brave.”
“Do you need anything, young masters?” Ahuizotl slided up to the table, dressed to the nines in a rather nice waiter’s uniform. “A drink refill perhaps?”
“Nice monkey suit,” Alex snarked, threatening to relapse into another giggle fit.
“One more joke like that from you, little filly, and I may just forget to use training rounds the next time I am called to help you practice. Now, is there anything I can get for you, or would you prefer not to make any special requests?”
“Maybe some water? I think Alex might have had a little too much root beer if he’s this giggly.” Snails nudged Alex with a hoof. “Eat some more shrimp or something, you’re getting weird.”
“What are you talking about? It was just root beer. It’s not actual beer.”
“Uhhh, it’s safe for children, Alex, but it’s all bubbly, so...wait.” Snails quickly pulled Alex in against his side. “H-how much have you been drinking? I lost track after my third glass. Maybe we both need a bit more food?”
Alex stared at his cup before pushing it away. “Teenage drinking is very bad for humans, Snails.”
His ears folded back quickly. “I didn’t know that. I thought you knew what it was, the way you went for it immediately.”
“You didn’t know, I didn’t know. Where I’m from, alcoholic root beer is a specialty thing.” Alex looked down at Snails, finding himself okay with the close contact. “I’ll just have water from now on.”
“Four waters and something on the heavier side from the kitchen for two overindulging children, then. Fried and high in protein, or are humans weird in other ways too?” Ahuizotl stayed perfectly calm, but he had relaxed from the stiff posture he’d gotten at Alex’s earlier quip.
“Protein is good. Fried too.” Alex nodded, a few frantic thoughts running through his head.
“I’ll head down now and let them know. I’ll tell them to use griffon-safe foods instead of purely pony foods, and hopefully that will make it easier. You two stay put.”
“Thanks,” Alex called, rubbing his temples. “I promised Fluttershy I wouldn’t drink until I was an adult again. That didn’t last long.”
“She must have thought you meant different things if she didn’t warn you about drinks here, or not have known if she never had any as a filly. Are you okay? It’s not...it’s not like a poison for human children, is it?”
“Alcohol is tolerable for adults but it can damage the still-developing brains of teenagers,” Alex explained, petting Snails’ head. “It shouldn’t be anything to really worry about but, I had no idea they were alcoholic nor do I know what’s ‘safe’ for foals.”
The table glowed for a moment, and four glasses of water appeared out of nowhere alongside a platter with fragrant slices of brown toast and a bowl of golden-brown paste of some kind that had a faint garlic scent to it. A note appeared a moment later: ‘Wheat toast and hummus to start for the overindulging foals. Eat slowly please. -Castle Kitchen Staff’
Taking a piece of toast, Alex carefully spread the hummus over the crunchy surface. “Hummus is pretty good,” he absently commented, taking a bite. “And this is pretty good hummus.”
Snails took a piece as well, and smiled as he bit into the toasty bread. “Garlic makes my nose itch, and you drank more than I did.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?” Alex questioned. “You calling me a drunk?”
“N-no? I just mean you drank more. You also tend to eat a little more than I do. It’s just... facts.” Snails trailed off and ended up simply nibbling at his slice of toast.
Rolling his eyes, Alex nudged Snails in the side. “I’m just joshing ya. Just relax. Don’t take it so seriously, would you?”
Snails just mumbled something under his breath and nudged Alex back.
“What was that?” Alex questioned, nudging him again. “Come on, don’t hold out on me.”
Snails finished chewing and pulled the unbitten part of his slice of toast away with his magic. “I said ‘I wonder if teasing colts is just a filly thing.’”
Blushing, Alex looked away. “It’s a thing friends do. Don’t you and Snips tease each other?”
“It’s a different kind of teasing, Alex. You sound so serious when you do it and then turn it around. Snips and I are obvious about teasing each other.”
“Sorry, I just act like I normally do.” Taking another bite of his toast, he added. “Don’t mean to make it weird.”
“Aha, so you must be the strange little heifer Will’s been telling me about.” A deep voice spoke from behind Alex moments before a hand dropped onto his shoulder. “Haven’t met the bull that he says rescued him yet, but that can wait.”
Alex felt himself stiffen up at the unexpected contact, but bit back a response; reminding himself that ‘heifer’ wasn’t an insult here. At least, not among minotaurs. “Yeah, that’s me. Despite my looks though, I am a guy.”
“Ha! Well, either way I want to do two things right now. I want to thank you for helping Will get back in touch with his fighting spirit, and I want to see if you’re as good as he says you are for someone with only a couple months of training under their skirt.”
“Uh, Steel, now’s not the best time for-” Iron Will’s voice came from just a little further behind Alex, but was quickly cut off.
“Will, you and I both know ponies fight too differently. Gotta assess where this wielder stands before offering training fit for her body type.”
“But... we’re at the gala,” Snails piped up, shying away a little from the minotaur.
“So what? What’s a party without one good fight to get the blood pumping? Besides, any warrior worthy of the title should be more than proud to show off what they know when given a proper challenge.” Steel Spine’s tone was actually warm and welcoming, almost calming despite what he was saying.
With a resigned sigh, Alex pushed away from the table. Grabbing his water, he chugged the glass. “Alright. Let’s do it. Go tell Celestia to clear the floor or whatever.” Turning to Snails, he gave a weak smile. “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting to get challenged to a key fight.”
“I’ll um... go let the princess know.” Getting up from his seat, Snails moved off into the crowd.
A few minutes passed with Steel Spine grinning down at Alex while tapping his fingers against his biceps before Luna’s voice could be heard clearly by every person in the large ballroom. “I object wholeheartedly to this, but fine. Let the bull have his horns handed back to him.”
“Spine, this was a bad idea.” Iron Will grumbled and scratched at his chin as the moon princess’ voice echoed for a few seconds in the sudden silence.
A few guards, both Day and Night, moved into the middle of the ballroom. With quiet authority, they cleared the space for the impromptu duel. “Will Ambassador Steel Spine and Knight Alex please come to the center of the room?”
“You’re a fucking ambassador? Are you kidding me?” Alex facepalmed and shook his head as he started to move towards the cleared area.
“Minotaurs have a different perspective on diplomacy than ponies do. It’s been a while since we’ve had a chance to get to know someone the way we like.”
“Alex! You better not damage that dress, young filly!” Rarity all but screamed from the back of the forming crowd.
Grunting, Alex stepped into the makeshift ring. “Don’t worry so much, I got this.” Taking a steadying breath, he called Aubade to his hands. “I hope.”
Steel Spine strode confidently to the opposite side of the cleared area before summoning a keyblade of his own. A golden glow seemed to pulse down his right arm, collecting around his hand to form a series of interconnected, spinning gears. The shaft of the keyblade extended out quickly, forming the shape of a train whistle about three feet long before a set of pipes holding on to half of a gear formed the teeth.
The entire thing glinted like freshly-polished gold, and a slight tremor was felt as he swung it up and around, then stabbed the tip into the ground in what looked like some kind of ritual salute. “This is a friendly match to assess the quality of Equestria’s current training program. Heartless attacks are on the rise for the first time in centuries, and all of our lives now depend upon having wielders who are both brave and capable of holding their own. My Heart of Gold against your little toy blade, with neither of us being masters.”
Iron Will cleared his throat and stepped just inside the edge of the ring between the two of them. “Does the Equestrian trainee have anything to say before this assessment and exhibition of skills begins?”
Alex gripped Aubade tighter, his eyes studying the keyblade before him. “Okay, that’s a new one.” Straightening his back, he meet Steel’s gaze. “My blade’s name is Aubade, and I probably know more about keyblades and heartless than you do.”
Steel Spine grinned and lifted Heart of Gold to his shoulder with a soft grunt of effort. “I like your guts, kid. May the light of truth guide your blade.”
Celestia stepped into the ring opposite Iron Will, and looked from one combatant to the other before lowering her head. “You really should have notified me of your intentions first, but Equestria recognizes this challenge. You may begin when ready.”
Tensing his body to move, Alex nodded at Steel. “May your heart be your guiding key.” The line always struck him as cheesy; the kind of thing you’d find in an anime. But, it seemed the most appropriate response.
Steel Spine smiled at that and gave a brief nod before holding up his left hand and beckoning for Alex to come closer with a couple inward flicks of his fingers. “Minotaur rules, the one who is challenged is allowed the first attack. Take all the time you like to plan it.”
Darting to the left, Alex made to thrust at Steel’s chest. At the last moment, he went low and swung at the bull’s legs. He had to remind himself that despite his clothing, there was no way he could move like he could when bonded with Sonata, nor would he have any of the same boosts in effectiveness.
The low swing was deflected at the last instant by the other keyblade swinging down in a blocking arc, one that briefly stung Alex’s hand with the shock of the sudden block before Steel Spine practically danced a few paces away from him to create a bit of space. “You’re faster than you look in that pretty dress. Maybe there is a warrior under all that perfume?” He shifted his grip slightly, the gears on Heart of Gold looking like they should be digging into his flesh and pinching fur as he swung the blade in a wide arc at Alex.
“I don’t wear perfume.” A part of Alex wanted to throw out a cast of Reflect. They hadn’t said no magic. He ignored that part of himself, refusing to break the perceived gentlemen’s agreement of blades only. Bringing Aubade up to block, he grit his teeth as Heart of Gold slammed into it. “That all the got for me? Insulting my feminine features?”
“Wait, is that something only females do?” Spine backed up a step and swung his keyblade back slowly, with the muscles in his arms visibly straining to keep it steady. “You learn some new cultural differences every day, eh brother?”
“You would have learned it weeks ago if you’d read up on it like your master told you.”
“Trust me, you wouldn’t learn a whole lot about human culture from anyone but me.” Processing the dull ache running along his arms, Alex thought over his options. Switching keyblades crossed his mind, a possibility that lingered. He wasn’t going to ask if it was allowed; at the cost of surprise.
“It was pony culture, but you’re all prettied up like all these fops anyways, so it’s close enough.” Spine grinned and took another step back before suddenly thrusting Heart of Gold forward and launching a series of small circular sawblade-shaped projectiles that flew towards Alex.
His decision made, Alex switched to Widow’s Fang. Quickly moving it into PAK form, the legs moved in a flurry of motion to deflect the sawblades.
“Huh, neat trick. You’re going to have to teach me how to do that, later.” Spine quickly closed the distance and made another wide, low, sweeping swing with Heart of Gold in an attempt to knock Alex off his feet.
Leaning back, Alex reoriented the legs backwards. Scuttling out of range, Alex rose up to match Steel’s height. And the only downside is, I don’t have a weapon, Alex thought to himself. He’d just have to get creative. Raising the front right leg, Alex stabbed at Steel’s thigh.
Steel tried to step back from the strike while bringing Heart of Gold around for another swing, only to suck in a pained hiss of breath as the transparent crystals tipping the legs struck sooner than he’d anticipated. He stepped back anyways, with his legs tensing up as the piercing strikes pulled back out. “Smart move, and dangerous. Those legs could really hurt somebody, rather than just heartless.”
“Keyblades can hurt anyone, not just heartless,” Alex responded, skittering away from Steel. Each step of his spider legs brought the sound of crystal on stone to the room, not that Alex noticed.
“The wielder of a keyblade who uses their weapon against those who are powerless to fight back is no better than a heartless, though. We must be shining examples of restraint when not dealing with powers that should not be.” Steel responded quickly, as if repeating a lesson taught early and often.
The fight continued on, with Alex and Steel both being nudged back towards the combat ring by a gentle push from Celestia’s magic if they wandered too close to the edge of their ‘arena.’ The floor was decorated with more than a few fresh cracks and small holes after only a few minutes of this.
Despite the formality the situation had seemed to hold at the start, there were soon scattered gasps and cheers as one or the other of the two combatants managed to just barely dodge an attack from the other. Even Iron Will managed a smile and a short, polite bit of clapping as Steel Spine managed to quickly roll backwards and flip back onto his hooves after Alex successfully swept his legs out from under him.
“Getting tired yet, Taurus?” Fatigue was settling onto Alex’s limbs, even if he relied on faux ones. “Still think I’m fancy pantsy?”
“Heh. You definitely have some skills, little heifer.” Steel Spine hefted Heart of Gold up onto his shoulder with a short grunt and smiled at Alex while shifting his grip on it into one he’d used for a heavy overhead swing before; one that had easily powered through the thin legs raised to deflect it. “If you’re feeling out of breath, a real fight could mean your death.”
“No stealing my old motivational slogans, brother!”
“And yet, you don’t know what else I could do,” Alex responded, keeping his breathing even while reaching back as the PAK shifted back into the default keyblade form of Widow’s Fang. “For all you know, I could turn this thing into a big shield, or a pair of daggers. You just don’t know.”
“I know it’ll only take one solid hit to put you on the floor.”
“Try me.” Alex glared as he brought his hand back in front of him and raised Widow’s Fang in a defensive stance.
“One last attack, then. Blade against blade, and the first one to lose their grip loses the match?”
Nodding, Alex stepped closer. Ignoring his tired arms, he drew his arms back and swung up at Steel’s torso. Steel reacted quicker than Alex had thought possible for the prolonged fight, bringing down his overhead strike to meet Alex’s upward one. The two blades connected, with Heart of Gold producing an almost-comical ringing tone as the heavy shaft vibrated enough for the whistle decorating the point to make the sound.
Alex felt his arms sting from the impact, but quickly brought his left hand up to brace the back of Widow’s Fang as the weight of Heart of Gold alone bore down on him. Stupid stupid stupid...should have known he’d follow through in a way that’d put me at a disadvantage.
Before either of the two combatants could even begin to try and turn this to their favor, something black and shiny flew in from outside their combat circle and impacted both of their keyblades right at the point of contact. It spun around that point and almost flowed like a liquid as it slapped against both of their hands, each one stinging like being hit with a ruler. There was another hard lurch of the two weapons as whatever had just hit them flew back the way it came.
Twisting his body away from the blow, Alex lost his grip on Widow’s Fang. Instinctively clutching his hand, his weapon tumbled away into the crowd, clanking against the stone floor. Steel Spine fared no better, but Heart of Gold landed only a foot away from him as he clutched at his own stinging hands. The floor cracked again at the continued assault against it by the heavy keyblade.
A soft but growling voice came from the same place where the attack had, and the gathered crowd of ponies parted quickly as a tall, tan-furred diamond dog holding a shiny, black, crystalline keyblade walked up to the edge of the makeshift arena. “Minotaur foolishness and posturing, I assume? Ponies would not tarnish their beloved ‘gala’ with a fight without some kind of provocation.”
A guard next to the dog cleared his throat nervously. “A-announcing her Lowness, Isabella Onyxfang of the Blacktooth clan. Princess Celestia, she brought prisoners with her.”
Celestia moved through the gathering easily, slipping back under her stony mask. “Bringing prisoners to a party isn’t something one does unless they want to make a point.”
Isabella stood up just a little straighter, and her own expression became unreadable. “They brought disgrace to my clan about a year ago by trying to capture a pony who could find gems easily. They have already been punished by dog law, but I wanted to present them to you for whatever punishment you see fit to bring down. Is only fair, as they broke pony law as well.”
Sighing, Celestia gestured for a few guards. “I appreciate that, but this is not the time or the place for this. We’ll take your prisoners into custody but I would ask that you not do this again.”
“Hmph. Was bad coincidence. Should have arrived yesterday, but small travel difficulties kept us back a day.” She shrugged and reached a hand up to scratch the top of her head. “Only have so much time before needing to be back home, must not waste any.”
“Ya didn’t have to break my damn hand,” Alex complained, massaging his still-stinging hand. “More than a little rude, Lassie.”
Isabella stared at Alex for a few seconds before she let out a short bark of a laugh. “Hairless dog... no, what old tales call you... Aqua? If I had wanted to break paw, paw would be broken. Dragonglass very precise, and ‘stern rebuke’ old dog technique.”
“Go’ i’ for yuh, Alecsh.” Snails’ voice was muffled and slurred slightly by the keyblade handle in his mouth as he walked back over to Alex’s side and carefully placed it on the floor. He shook his head slightly and seemed to shrink in place for a moment as he realized he’d stepped into the arena. “Uh, sorry if this wasn’t allowed or anything, but with the interruption I thought…”
“It’s fine, Snails. I’m sure we can all agree the exhibition is done and both parties have proven how much they know and how capable they are.” Celestia’s tone was slightly more kind as she addressed the colt with a slight turn of her head, keeping her focus mostly on the tan dog that stood at her height. “Why not simply wait for tomorrow for the prisoners, then? Surely you made time for one day to relax after the Gala?”
Alex grunted a thank you from Snails, reaching down with his uninjured hand to reclaim Widow’s Fang. It never occurred to him that it hadn’t immediately returned to his hand. His thoughts churned smartass remarks towards Isabella like they were on a conveyor belt.
“Not trust misbehaving pups to not make trouble in city overnight somehow; even with chains and leashes.” Isabella turned away from the makeshift arena as if to lead Celestia herself over to where the prisoners were. This revealed that she had what looked like Treasure Trove strapped across her back, over her shoulder blades.
Raising her head, Celestia spread her wings like a swan. “Please return to the festivities, everyone. And please, a round of applause for Ambassador Steel Spine and Knight Lionheart.”
Steel Spine nodded and waved his hand as he reached down to pick up Heart of Gold. “No need, really. I do want to thank you, Alex, for showing me a few weaknesses in my techniques. I may need to visit the Mystic Valley to see about some small changes to Heart of Gold. I’d have trouble hitting anything that moves faster than you without dislocating my shoulders as it is.”
Letting Widow fade, Alex flexed his hand again. The pain had subsided into a dull ache that throbbed every other breath. “And thanks for making me feel small and weak, Theseus.”
“You’re still young, and that means you have time to grow and get stronger. I’m sure we’d be more evenly matched in an actual spar without onlookers so close that we’d have to be worried about breaking a small magic shell.”
“I’ll have you know that my sister’s shield could have stopped any basic combat spell by itself. Were our former Captain of the Guard here the shield would have been virtually impenetrable.” Luna’s voice cut easily through the low murmur and scattered applause of the dispersing crowd. “Alex has also only been training to fight opposition that has been deemed universally hostile by ancient treaties. Even your brother fights vastly differently if the brief flashes of his active training memories are true.”
Smoothing out his dress, Alex checked for any damage to the garment. Luckily for himself, and Rarity, he had managed to come through unscathed. “Good job, you didn’t mess up my dress. Which is good. I’d have thrown you under the bus to appease Clothes Horse.”
Steel Spine blinked and tilted his head in seeming confusion. “Wait, you mean you don’t know the basic ‘mending’ spell to fix tiny cracks and tears? I guess Equestrian teaching methods focus more on specifics than general utility?” His gaze turned to Luna, who looked right back at him.
“He’s been given Lady Aqua’s own syllabus, and the book she taught from. You know what is and isn’t in that book, as keyblade wielders of every race were given copies after she vanished.”
“You ponies focus too much on tradition sometimes, and have little reason to innovate. Let’s get over to a table and I can write down the runes you need for it, okay? It’s simple, and barely taps your mana reserves.”
“Right, right.” Alex nodded, fixing his tiara. “Let’s go do that, so I can terrorize Clothes Horse with ripped clothes.” Turning around, he gestured for the minotaur to follow him. “Our table’s this way.”
Steel Spine and Luna both nodded and followed Alex and Snails over to a table that had a fair bit of ‘comfort food’ on it that all looked quite appetizing. There was a good amount of open space left, which was soon full of plates with small samples of everything for all four of the beings who were there. A quick spell from Luna summoned a quill, ink, and some sheets of paper, on which Steel Spine wrote the simple, three-rune construct for the mending spell that minotaurs had developed over the centuries.
“This version works on anything, as long as you’re putting together the same material at any given point. Used to be it’d only work on metal or cloth, but not both at the same time even if it was all part of one piece.”
“Well that’s something,” Alex muttered in between bites of his food. “I’ll have to share it with Rarity, probably save her a ton of time on stuff.”
“‘Tis a pity that most ponies, aside from unicorns, can’t seem to actively channel magic and runes without being awoken by being attuned to a keyblade. Pegasi can channel lightning and build storm clouds as easily as they breathe or fly, but…” Luna cut herself off and sighed while shaking her head. “Then again, I don’t think I’d trust some ponies to show much restraint if they knew certain spells.”
Snails flinched a bit, but continued looking at the runes Steel Spine had written down. “So…’read’ ‘fix’ and ‘bind’ make it work on anything? Why use ‘read?’”
Steel Spine reached down and ruffled Snails’ mane in a way that was almost tender. “Because magic is a thing that isn’t always logical. We tried all kinds of other words instead of ‘read’ but it never worked right, because we were using new words that we came up with. It’s the same reason the word is used as part of the ‘scan’ spell that examines opponents.”
“Wait, what do you mean you were using newer words?”
“Magic runes were based on minotaur script, or the written minotaur language was based on magic runes. Nobody’s sure exactly which came first.”
Leaning back in his chair, Alex gazed over at Steel Spine and Iron Will. Each time he looked at either minotaur, it reminded him just how small he had become. To say that he felt short-changed was beyond an understatement.
“Got any other useful spells to share?” Alex asked, trying not to look up when he spoke.
“None that I can teach you without an okay from my own master. Nearly every minotaur knows this spell so they can repair anything that breaks around them. Calf toys can be intricate, and parents need to be able to repair them without having to know how they’re made, after all.”
“I got a lot of masters. Only one of them has hands and feet.” Taking the note, Alex folded it up with care and slid it into one of his dress’s hidden pockets. “I don’t think you’ll get in trouble for sharing more.”
“Even the princesses would need to see my master before I could give either of them anything that was a newer minotaur spell than something they have. I’m not a master yet, so I’m not allowed to teach anything beyond the most basic level of spellcrafting without it being okayed in that specific instance. The smallest mistake makes the whole machine break down, after all.”
“We shall have to see about arranging some way for Alex to visit the other people of the world and learn what he can from them at some point in the near future, perhaps during a school break. It has been too long since there has been a cultural sharing, after all.” Luna nodded after speaking, then looked at Steel Spine. “See about making arrangements with your master, please.”
“A world tour sounds nice,” Alex agreed. “I still have to visit the sirens for my knighting. My actual knighting.”
“Ceremonial knighting. I wonder what powers or authority such a title gives you among them. Among ponies the title is used to denote wielders who have no other authority due to various reasons. It’s been a long time since we had to use it, but it helps raise how the nobility would react to you to at least have a title.”
Nodding his head, Alex pushed himself away from the table. “Okay! I’ve had enough talking and my blood is pumping! How about we dance, Snails?” Without waiting for an answer, he took Snails’ arm and pulled him out of his seat.
“Whoa!” Snails didn’t exactly object so much as nearly trip over himself as Alex pulled him away suddenly. He staggered to get his hooves back under him and stared at Alex with a slight blush on his muzzle as they came to a stop on the dance floor. “I-uh...I’m not exactly sure how to dance with you, Alex. I mean...I came up with something, but I dunno if you’ll like it.”
“Shoot,” Alex said, smiling down at him.
Snails nodded and closed his eyes as his horn lit up, only opening them as a small cloud of force started to form just above his head. The cloud of magic slowly settled itself into a shape that closely resembled Alex’s upper body and arms above the young colt’s head, except made of telekinetic force. “If you know how to dance I can at least follow along with this, so just...treat me like a partner you had in the past?”
Alex blinked staring at the construct for a moment before smiling. “That’s pretty damn good, Snails. Just give me a moment to set up some music, okay?” Stepping away, he called over Discord. Hunching together life a pair of scheming thieves, their gaze went over to the musicians’ area.
Confusion spread amongst the gala guests as the music cut off abruptly. Those most heavily dazed were the musicians themselves, now seated at several tables with refreshments. On stage, a DJ’s speaker setup had replaced them.
Popping into existence on stage, Discord plugged Alex’s tablet into place. “Sorry for the interruption, just thought everyone might enjoy hearing some otherworldly music.” A few taps of his paw and music began to fill the room once more. Of course, the first few notes were not exactly harmonious, blaring out a sound rather like a calliope slipping a few gears in the middle of a performance. This was followed by a guitar and bass not quite working together before Alex recognized the song, and the lyrics started before he could shout out an objection.
Who am I? What am I? What’s inside, that’s causing this malfunction? Mislabelled, unable, to repair this malfunctioning just fine. I’m alive! At this junction, of dysfunction, we arrive.
Ponies stared up at Discord and the speakers, then their gazes moved to Alex and Snails as they reached a simple conclusion regarding the origin of this strange song when Discord had mentioned it was ‘otherworldly.’ A few of them smiled politely while others were frowning as they turned and began to move away.
What’s your malfunction? Don’t be scared. It don’t matter how you wear your hair. What’s your malfunction? Find its mirth. Perfect’s a bore for what it’s worth. Gold, silver, copper, bronze. The dullest metal can still be strong. Well we might have our share of ticks, but honey that’s how we get our kicks. Malfunction away!
“Discord! Knock it off!” Alex shouted, glaring up at the stage. “Put something else on!”
“What? Not a good sample of Earth music? Fine. Malfunction... away.” Discord sang that last bit along with the song before hitting stop and looking through the list on the device. “Any requests from the hard-to-please crowd, then? Something you think these sensitive nobles wouldn’t be upset by?”
“Put on King Harvest!”
Discord flipped through the list of songs until he found the one Alex must have meant. Soon the soothing chimes from a keyboard and snare drum were sounding out across the room before the heavier drumming and lyrics kicked in to bring the classic rock hit to Equestria.
Snails seemed a little lost, but smiled as Alex turned back to him and carefully raised the hands and arms of his little magical construct to hold Alex’s own. “G-go ahead and lead. I don’t really know your dances, but I’ll do my best to follow.”
“Hey, neither do I but, we can always try.” Moving his body, Alex, tried to summon some of the rhythm that he felt when merged with Sonata. “If we look like dorks, we look like dorks. This is just us having fun.”
“Y-yeah, you’re right. Just two foals trying to have fun. No need to care what anypony thinks, right?” Some of the tension seemed to leave him as he began to find his own timing to move with Alex, and the two of them just kept moving as the songs changed around them.
Alex brushed off the early morning chill, his movements giving the cold no purchase in his limbs. He’d have to start wearing heavier clothes over his exercise ‘outfit’, preferably soon. However, for today, just a pair of yoga pants and a sports bra was enough.
“You okay there, kid? You’re breathing heavier than Twilight when she sees a new encyclopedia.” Rainbow Dash playfully teased from ahead of him. Her muzzle was stretched in a smirk as she trotted backwards with seemingly zero effort to ‘look’ back at him and watch him carefully. “It’s your first real run with me, wouldn’t be good if you passed out ‘cause I overworked you.”
“I’m fine, Dash. Just not used to running is all,” Alex assured. “Also, good to know ponies here can walk backwards. Horses couldn’t do that back home.”
“It’s amazing what you can learn to do from being around Pinkie. When she gets into one of her ‘I want to be up in your face’ moods you learn to back up quick.” Rainbow trotted back a couple more steps before flapping her wings and turning herself around with a tiny jump and a bit of a twist. “Especially when you’ve just tossed a pie aside or something because you’re not in the mood for a treat.”
“The good news is, I’m way more healthy than I was before.” His face flushed as a rather unflattering image of his former self came to mind. “Which is good. No one’s doctor should be giving someone advice they themselves don’t follow.”
“I can see that if it’s a general health thing. I know I definitely listen to my doctor about fertility stuff even if I plan on ignoring all of that for as long as possible while I train for the Wonderbolts and hopefully stick with them for a long time. Doesn’t matter if she’s on her fifth foal, you know?”
Shrugging his shoulder, Alex grunted. “Not planning on being a mom soon eh? I can get behind that.”
“You were only planning on being a dad at some point, right? I’m sure somepony will find a way to fix that for you, Alex, though I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want the extra wind resistance myself.”
Alex thought for a moment about what she meant and then blushed and groaned at the same time. “Why would you make me think of that, Skittles?”
“Think of what? All I did was mention aerodynamics.” Rainbow’s voice had a tone that was just a little too innocent to be sincere. “Not my fault you’re repressed.”
“He’s a child, Dash, and I’m still not comfortable about my body.” Alex huffed and pushed himself just a little harder to move faster. “It’s not repression when things just feel wrong.”
Dash tsked, her mane swaying to and fro. “You confuse the Tartarus out of me, Alex. The most mind-boggling filly I know.”
“Not my fault your world hasn’t had any transgender people to deal with before. My mind’s still male, except for the parts swimming in estrogen, despite my body being female.” Alex responded without giving it any thought. “I’m more like a colt no matter what your pony senses tell you.”
“Right, because every colt takes their colt friend to a big formal dance in front of a bunch of nobles, while wearing one of the most intricate dresses I’ve seen Rarity make without gems… keep telling yourself you’re a colt.”
Annoyance bubbled up in Alex’s chest, a feeling he relished for a moment before stepping on it. It wasn’t Dash’s fault if she didn’t get it. She could even have been right. Whether she was or not, Alex didn’t know. And that’s what bothered him the most.
“Come on, no time to stagger. I gotta get you home before I can continue my run, and tomorrow we bring you out just a little further. You can handle up to two miles a day without it hurting yourself, right? I want to try and work past that.”
“Yeah... I can do that. I think.” Frowning, Alex ran medical facts through his mind, trying to sift through the noise. “That’s a big maybe. I wasn’t going to be a pediatrician.”
“Well, we’re just looking to raise your endurance, so we go as far a round trip as you managed on the treadmill before needing a long rest, then we push a little harder on it the next time, going a little further. If humans work the same way ponies do on at least some level, that should be fine. Just no weights or heavy lifting.”
The rest of the run was quiet, only the sound of nature and his own huffing and puffing reaching Alex’s ears. When his home came into view, he almost shouted in joy. He settled for a smile, slowing his jog into a walk.
“Have to wind down,” he explained, wiping at his forehead.
“That’s fine. We’re within sight of your home anyways and I’m pretty sure the only monster that’s going to do anything to you this close is that bug-bear you helped last week. Thing still gives me the creeps.”
“Winnie is a sweetheart,” Alex argued, stopping at the gate. “She just takes to people that smell like chaos better than others.”
“Uhhhh, did Fluttershy have plans to do a late-fall version of spring cleaning? Looks like she’s got half the furniture outside.” Rainbow extended a wing and indicated the state of the yard immediately outside the house, then flapped both wings and flew backwards a few body lengths as the upper front window stretched and spit out a bed large enough to hold three ponies comfortably. “O-kay, yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow for another short run, then you get a day off before we extend it. Seeyalater!”
“Uh... okay?” Alex turned, following Dash’s path as she bolted from the yard. “Well that was... weird...” Shrugging it off as another pony quirk, of which he had a list of, he moved into the cottage. “Hey, Shy! I’m back!”
“Oh, Alex, I forgot you were coming back after your run.” Fluttershy was in the middle of mopping the kitchen floor, having tucked the mop under one wing as Alex walked through the door. “Um, shoot, your lunch...breakfast too. Do you think you could grab a few bits and just pick a couple things out at sugarcube corner? I got a letter from my parents and Discord and I need to get this house as clean as possible.”
“Sure?” Looking around the room, he took in just how upended the front room had become. “Did Twilight pass her OCD onto you? Or are your parents just clean freaks?”
“Oh, um, no. They’re a lot like me in some ways, but I don’t want the house smelling the way it does right now. It’s going to be hard enough dealing with how they’re going to react to the whole bat thing without them being able to smell Discord and me all over everything.”
“Are you not introducing him to them?” Alex questioned, standing at the top of the stairs. “Or did you guys have fun all over the cottage and ponies can smell that stuff long after the fact?”
“Oh, there’s no way they aren’t going to meet him, it’s just that I don’t know what they’d think if they knew just how...active we got at times. I mean, we do make sure it can’t wake you up, but...”
“You’re an adult mare with a healthy appetite and an attentive boyfriend. As long as you’re being responsible, why should anything else matter?”
Fluttershy scrunched her muzzle up, thinking on his words. “I know that, but I just want everything to be perfect. Why don’t you go get showered and I’ll have those bits ready when you come down?” A beat passed before she added. “And um, I know you like privacy but, would you mind if we tidied up your room? Just in case you let them see it. If that’s not too much trouble.”
Alex thought for a few seconds, then nodded. “Sounds like a plan to me. I’ll just make sure not to perform any satanic rituals tonight.”
A smile overtook her features and Fluttershy graced him with a breezy giggle. “Go on now. They’ll be here by noon and everything has to be just perfect!”
“Noon tomorrow, right? I wouldn’t want to miss them just because I’m at school.”
“...Noon today,” Came Fluttershy’s response. “The mail came late and now we have to get everything ready last minute.”
“And I’m guessing Discord’s going to be doing some stuff that neither of you want me around in case it does crazy things. Got it. I’ll get showered quick and then I’ll be out of your hair.” Giving Fluttershy a thumbs up, Alex finished ascending the stairs.
His mind buzzed with possible forms his adopted grandparents would take. He almost settled on a clone and an opposite gendered clone of his mother but discarded it quickly. As silly as Equestria was with its genetics, he doubted it would be that blatant.
“So, I got a letter today before leaving for school, Alex, and I think it means we’re not going to be able to hang out together after school for a while.” Snails’ voice was slow, as usual, but he sounded a little excited despite the words he’d just said. “It said that Princess Twilight wanted to help teach me more about magic so I could use it better.”
“Hey, that’s pretty damn cool!” Alex reached over, scratching Snails’ ears. “I told you, you were good with magic.”
“Er, uh, actually it’s about teaching me more about the basics because of what I’ve done recently. Part of it’s because of the spell I did at the gala, but part’s also because of what I did to Diamond Tiara. There was something about control and fundamentals, but it’ll mean she won’t be able to make fun of me anymore.”
Alex rolled his eyes. Snails was a great friend, but he had a nasty habit of ignoring his own talents. “We have enough self deprecation with me around. You’re being tutored by a princess, that’s huge!”
“Well, yeah, but I just mean it’s not all for good things…” Snails stared for a moment as he realized that Alex only had a couple baked goods for lunch instead of the usual carefully-prepared meal. “Did Fluttershy forget to buy groceries or something?”
“Oh uh, her parents are visiting and she’s on a cleaning frenzy,” Alex explained, taking a bite out of a cupcake. “So, I got some bits for breakfast and lunch.”
“Oh, I know how that can be. My mom likes to clean everything real good once a month except in winter. She usually does it during the day though. I guess she didn’t get much warning.”
“Nope.” Alex pushed another cupcake over to Snails. “Have some of these. I bought a few too many.”
“More like Pinkie gave you more than you paid for if these are from where I think they’re from.” Snails smiled as he carefully lifted the cupcake up and gave it a good sniff. “Yeah, definitely Pinkie, because only she would know to make any without hay in case you stopped by.”
“She’s a good baker.” Tossing the rest of his cupcake into his mouth, Alex licked icing off his lips. “Still, I’m glad you’re getting magic lessons. You’re pretty good at it, better at it than me.”
“Well, yeah, I should be better at it.” Snails’ face fell as he realized what he said, and he quickly shook his head. “Sorry, you keep telling me to stop beating myself up over it and I just did it again.”
“Yeah, well, old habits die hard. You work on it and we’ll see how you feel about yourself in a month or so, right?”
“Yeah, and if I get better with magic I won’t accidentally squish bugs so often when I try to move them, or when I collect shed exoskeletons.” Snails smiled before gobbling up the cupcake in front of him as if he’d never had one before. “I’d been making some progress with that for the few strange bugs I find.”
“Strange how?” Alex questioned, giving him a curious look.
“Oh, just a different color ant or a spider with a star on its back, nothing real freaky or anything.” Snails licked a bit of frosting that had stuck to his muzzle. “Or cicada shells, those are always neat with different colors.”
“Ah, good ole’ cicada’s. Natures time bomb.” Nodding his head, Alex gave Snails a smile. “You should show me sometime, bugs are pretty cool.”
“Oh, uh, maybe you can help me pick the best ones for my science display this year? Last year I had a few that even Miss Cheerilee could barely tell apart.”
Spending more time with Snails was never a bad thing. It gave him a reason to avoid getting knocked around by a bunch of nobodies. Anything was better than listening to Ahuizotl’s cat puns.
Packing up the rest of his lunch, Alex pat Snails’ head. “Alright, I have to get going. Fluttershy’s parents are stopping by today and I don’t wanna be late.”
“You’re leaving early?” Snails couldn’t neep the hint of disappointment out of his voice as Alex stood up.
“Well, yeah. For one I want to make a good impression with them, and the afternoon lesson plan today switched out the history lesson for a visit to Sweet Apple Acres in order to demonstrate how earth pony magic works. If the visit is short I’ll just use the extra time to study for tomorrow’s test.” He looked around briefly before taking a couple steps around the table to give Snails a quick hug.
Hugging him back, Snails nodded. “I hope you have fun with your grandparents.” Pulling back, he smiled. “I bet they’ll love you.”
“Hey Alex, hold up!” Rainbow’s voice called out to Alex as he approached the bridge over the tiny brook near home, and he turned just in time to duck as Rainbow came in for a hard landing on the path, with one of her wings clipping his arm. “You didn’t mention you were skipping the afternoon at school.”
“I only have to be there for the classes I need,” Alex replied, raising back up. “I usually stay just to spend more time with Snips and Snails.”
“Okay, fair point, and school’s kinda boring anyways when it’s about stuff you aren’t interested in.” She paused and shook her head quickly. “Who am I kidding, even stuff I am interested in is boring when it’s not a hooves-on kinda thing. Anyways, I need to cancel our next few exercise sessions. Twilight’s crystal harmony map did the whole plot-vibration-magic thing and Pinkie and I are being sent to Griffonstone. No pushing yourself while I’m gone, and no running on the same trails. Go to the gym and do a couple miles on a treadmill and that’s it if you feel like you want to run, got it?”
“Yeah I got it. How long you think you’re gonna be gone for?”
“Hopefully no more than a few days, including travel time. The main reason I’m even stopping at home is to make sure I bring a few things I know I can eat in case Pinkie forgets to bring anything to bake with. Griffon cuisine doesn’t sit well for me.”
Alex thought for a moment. “Wait, how do you kno-”
“I used to be friends with a griffon back when I was a filly and she dared me to take a bite out of her lunch one day at Junior Speedsters Flight Camp. I ended up puking my guts out for half of the night. Anyways, you stay safe and we’ll start right back up the day after I get back, okay?”
“Huh... Well uh... have a good time, I guess?” Alex offered, waving to her as Dash zipped out of sight.
Sucking in a breath, Alex walked up to the door to his home. ‘It’s just some more ponies. They’re family right? You like family now.’ Grasping the door knob, he turned it gingerly before pushing open the door. “Hey, Fluttershy! I’m home!”
The sight that greeted him was one that left him a little confused at first, with three unknown ponies and a small pile of boxes near Fluttershy’s couch while Discord was in the middle of doing something to some clothes in the air in front of him. One article in particular looked like an ugly mixed thing with a misshapen dress on the left side, and the right side somehow having a perfectly normal-looking blue jeans leg and what looked like a simple cotton shirt that were still attached at the waist.
“Oh dear...we weren’t expecting you to be home yet.”
“He’s even more adorable than the photo.” The mare, who had a very similar coloration to Fluttershy said, her voice almost as quiet as Fluttershy normally was around the more skittish animals. Her coat was yellow, but her mane and tail were a darker red than Fluttershy’s bright pink.
“Uh... hi?” Alex asked, looking at the floating pair of jeans.
“Well hi there little niecephew! See what I did there, since you’re some cool kinda mix of the two?” The younger viridian stallion, with a yellow mane and, somehow, beard stubble, walked up to Alex with a smile. “My big sis here told us so much about you. My name’s Zephyr Breeze and I am so happy to be your uncle, especially since I hear you’re training with Rainbow Dash. Tell me, how much has she gushed about my good looks?”
Alex merely stared at the stallion in front of him, his mouth flapping open a few times. It took a moment before his brain worked past the blockage and words poured from his mouth. “She hasn’t mentioned you?”
“Aw, I bet she just doesn’t wanna talk about her feelings to a kid.” Zephyr walked around Alex once before moving back over to the couch. “Pity your mane’s so short. Not many ponies have black manes and I’ve been wanting to see what accents work best with it.”
“Zephyr, we talked about this earlier. Alex isn’t going to just put up with you doing stuff to his hair randomly like you do with my mane sometimes.” Fluttershy snapped, actually sounding irritated for once.
“Oh I remember, sis. It’s just a shame there’s not really anything to work with in the first place is all I’m sayin’.”
Discord sighed and sent the bulk of the clothes that had been floating around him back up to Alex’s room, followed by finishing off the work in progress on the garment that had been changing when Alex opened the door. The top separated from the bottom, and the dress soon finished changing into something that would both fit and be comfortable for Alex, before they dropped to the top of the coffee table. “I enjoy a bit of confusion as much as the next being, but maybe Alex should be introduced to all of you properly before he has to reboot himself again?”
The mare giggled, stepping closer to Alex and giving him a smile whose sweetness rivaled that of Fluttershy’s own. “I’m Mimosa Pudica, but you can call me ‘Pudding’ if you don’t feel comfortable calling me ‘grandma’ yet, okay?”
“Pudding?” Alex questioned, kneeling down to her level. “How’d you get a nickname like that?”
“Because she’s sweet and children love her.” The older stallion stepped forward with a soft chuckle. “She used to babysit for the neighbors before we had Fluttershy, used to call her ‘pudding cup.’”
“This is my husband, Cirrostratus,” Mimosa introduced, putting a wing over the stallion’s back. “We’re so happy to meet you! I don’t know why Flutters didn’t tell us sooner!”
“I was working up to it, but things have been hectic for the last month getting adjusted to having Alex around and, well, everything else that’s been going on. Discord and I have been working out how we were going to explain everything to you too.”
“He’s not exactly the kind of stallion I expected for a son-in-law, but you always have been adventurous, dear.” Cirrostratus commented as he sent a loving smile over in her direction.
“As long as he makes you happy, we’re happy.” Mimosa stepped away from her husband and closer to Alex. “Is it alright to hug you, deary?”
“Uh, yeah, sure. Just no hooves on my chest and it’s all good.” Alex nodded after a second of thought and held his arms open.
‘I just want to make sure you’re okay with touching.” Closing the small distance, Mimosa wrapped her wings and arms around Alex. “Welcome to the family, Alex.”
Cirrostratus joined the hug a couple seconds later, adding just a little extra pressure before backing away and moving over to Fluttershy’s side. “And hopefully you’ll have some younger siblings soon.”
Fluttershy blushed and glared at her father for a second. “Dad, please don’t try and rush things. Discord and I haven’t even talked about that step yet, and we’re still just dating for the time being.”
“You can hardly blame me, dear. You did take this long just to find your first coltfriend.”
Discord scooped Fluttershy up, holding her like a cat and eliciting a cute squeak from her. “We’ll be taking things as fast as ‘Shy likes. We have all the time in the world to make that decision.”
“So, uh...what’s up with the clothes?” Alex asked while looking over Mimosa’s shoulder and just taking in the fact that at least two of these new ponies seemed to be relatively normal.
“Oh, um, well...we saw your picture in the paper, one taken at the Gala, and we bought some gifts before finding out about you being more of a colt than a filly.” The mare hugging him responded quickly before finally letting him go. “First grandchild must be spoiled after all.”
“You don’t have to spoil me.” Alex blushed, rubbing his neck. It was more than a little embarrassing. He had never been spoiled before, even when his mother had been healthy. “I mean that, really.”
“Oh it’s not like this is going to happen all the time, dear. Think of it as a birthday gift, or an adoption party. We might have a couple other things to give you as we come across them, and we’ll come down for Hearthswarming of course, but we’re not rich or anything.”
Zephyr wrapped an arm around Alex, running a hoof through his hair. “I was gonna give you a mane styling but, short mane and all.”
“Humans don’t have manes. That’s just my hair, and I like it the way it is, thanks.” Alex tried to step away from Zephyr, and then bushed at his foreleg. “And, could you not? Your mother at least asked about hugging me.”
“Ah come on! I just wanna get to know my sister’s foal some!” Jumping away, Zephyr struck a pose. “Doing some uncle-niechew bonding!”
Alex felt his eye twitch and he took a deep breath. “Just nephew is fine, please, I don’t want or need any kind of special words being made up for who I am. I tolerate the ‘Mister Sister’ thing from Screwball because it’s just the way she does things, but you’re clearly not mentally unstable.”
“Alright, nephew.” Smiling in a way he hoped was endearing, Zephyr poked Alex’s side. “I know all sorts of stuff I could teach you! Wood shop, hoofcare, haybachi cooking, how to preen...wait, no feathers. Nevermind that one.”
“Zephyr, could you maybe not be quite so enthusiastic until he gets a little more used to you?” Fluttershy spoke up. “You know how you get sometimes about new things, and Alex isn’t a toy, class, or job opportunity.”
“I already backed off, ‘Shy. It’s not like I’m trying to make him feel uncomfortable or anything.” He sighed and looked towards the door. “But, fine, I’ll just go see if I can run into your fine friend and maybe convince her to go for a little flight.”
“Uh.... Dash and Pinkie got map sent to some Griffon place,” Alex said, watching as Zephyr slicked back his hair. “They’ll probably be gone for a few days.”
“Oh…” Zephyr paused mid-swipe and frowned. “Well, I guess that means I don’t have a reason to leave for a bit and give you all some space.”
“I’m pretty sure you could make a run to the local Barnyard Bargains for some milk if you wanted to be helpful while ‘giving us some space,’ as you put it.” Discord smiled as he spoke, and caused a pouch of bits to fall to the floor in front of Zephyr with a snap from the fluff at the end of his tail. “Maybe buy something for yourself to wash all the oil out of your mane, since you’re so focused on playing with everyone else’s.”
Zephyr huffed, scooping the bag up. “You’re just envious of my glorious locks. And yes I said envious because jealous is when you think somepony is stealing what’s yours.” With a flick of his tail, Zephyr walked out of the cottage with his muzzle in the air.
Discord rolled his eyes so hard they fell off his face and bounced over to Alex. “Whoops, little help there, Alex? No offense, Fluttershy, but I don’t like your brother.”
With detachment that came from living with a reality warper, Alex scooped up Discord’s eyes. “He’s... different,” Alex said diplomatically, cocking his arm back and launching the eyes back at Discord.
Discord simply opened his mouth and swallowed the incoming orbs, followed by blinking a few times until they reappeared. “Ah, there we go. Thank you, dear boy.”
Both Cirrostratus and Mimosa blinked a few times and shook their heads as they watched the odd antics of Discord, even this minimal degree being something vastly different for them. “Oh my, well...that’s certainly something we haven’t seen before.”
Giggling, Fluttershy hovered up next to Discord’s head and planted a kiss on his cheek. “And that’s why I love him so much. He’s just so... chaotic!”
“So you’re really comfortable with the whole bat stuff that happened, dear? That was something that caught us off-guard in the picture.” Cirrostratus asked in a way that was obviously out of concern rather than comfort. Everything from the expression on his face to the way his hooves shuffled was almost identical to Fluttershy’s own nervous mannerisms.
“The first week was the hardest, and the sun does hurt my eyes now if I forget my sunglasses, but it’s not that different from before. It’s actually a little easier for me to fly now, so there’s been a benefit from it.” Fluttershy lowered herself back down and hugged her father. “So, yes, I am comfortable with it overall.”
Cirrostratus nuzzled Fluttershy’s head, tickling her with the edge of his mustache. “Well, I’m just happy you’re happy. Should we stock up on some mangos for your next visit?”
“Only if you’re planning on eating them too. With Alex not being able to walk on clouds, it may be awhile before I can plan an extended visit. His magic needs to be confirmed stabilized before we can have Twilight cast the cloud-walking spell she knows.”
Coughing slightly, Alex finished his phone out of his pocket. “So uh... anyone wanna take any pictures? I still got plenty of room on this thing.”
Griffonstone was a city of lost glory already as Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie walked down the road that had become its main street as they passed the first few run-down houses. Everywhere either of them looked there were signs of hastily-repaired damage to the buildings or houses being outright abandoned to tip over and collapse against a neighboring building. The only structures that seemed to be even remotely well-maintained were what could only be guard towers or lookout points set at eight places within the city borders. Literally nothing matched the book.
“Yeesh!” Dash took a step back as a balcony collapsed to her right. “What a dump! No wonder Gilda turned into such a bitch.”
“Dashie, even if she was a big meanie-pants when she came to Ponyville, she’s still an old friend of yours!” Pinkie nudged against Dash’s side as she looked around. “No signs. I wonder if there’s a bakery nearby?”
Dash ignored Pinkie’s ramblings, gingerly poking the wreckage of the balcony. “Place needs a new everything. Applejack would have a field day here.”
“Isn’t every day for Applejack a field day?” Pinkie giggled at her own silly joke while looking around. “They don’t look very happy to see us here, Dashie. You don’t think it’s because we’re ponies, do you?”
“Typical stupid pony question.” Pushing a dilapidated cart around a corner, Gilda glared at the pair. “We don’t even like each other. Why would we want to look at your ugly faces?”
“Because we’ve come to help you guys out with the problem you have?” Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes at Gilda before releasing a soft snort through her nostrils. “ So, what happened here? According to a book Twilight had this place is supposed to be a bustling city full of happy griffons. Instead everything looks more run-down than Granny Smith.”
“Maybe we like it like this?” Gilda questioned, casually looking at her claws. “We don’t need to live up to your expectations, pony.”
“What is wrong with you, Gilda? We’re here to help and you’re acting like I insulted your grampa’s cooking, again. And you know he burnt my hayfries intentionally, because he didn’t think you should be friends with a pony in the first place.”
“What’s in the cart?” Pinkie asked the first thing that came to mind as an itch in her right-front frog told her this conversation was going to go very bad if somepony didn’t change the subject fast.
“Griffonstone griffon scones, and an oven to cook more. Being a guard doesn’t pay jack squat, so I have to sell something to get some money and get outta here to somewhere safer.”
“Oooh!” Pinkie squealed, zipping over to Gilda’s side. “I’ve never had a griffon scone before! Can I try one?!”
“Two bits.” Gilda’s response was instant as she turned to unlock the flip-down coverings for the side of her cart. “Get used to hearing that word, too. That advice is the only free thing you’ll get here these days, except breathing.”
Taking the required monetary payment, Pinkie placed them into Gilda’s waiting talons. Her eager smile dropped as an ash grey, misshapen pastry with a twig sticking out of it was handed over in return. “It uh... looks good?”
Gilda spared a moment to glare at Pinkie before looking around to see if any nearby griffons were going to come over. “You already paid, I don’t need your fake approval, or your airheaded opinions.”
Pouting at the pastry, Pinkie debated actually eating it. “Well, you know that I’m a baker. Maybe we could look at your recipe together and make it more... flavorful?”
“Or, you know, edible at all.” Rainbow couldn’t keep the snark out of her voice as she glanced at the obviously-overcooked pastry. “These don’t have meat in them, do they?”
Gilda flicked her tail, leaning in close. “I remember you thought I was very edible, Dash.” She winked, smirking at her.
“Wait a minute...” Pinkie narrowed her eyes, looking from one to the other. “Did you two used to fool around or something? Is that why Gilda got so mean? Did she think I was steppin’ in on her main squeeze?”
Rainbow couldn’t help but blush a little as she reached up to rub behind her mane. “We were fillies, Pinkie, and we both learned quite a bit-”
“Yeah, I learned that Dash squeals pretty loud if you nibble on the right spot,” Gilda cut in, her grin turning evil.
“Gilda!” Rainbow’s face turned bright red for a moment before she looked down at the ground and continued with a slight grumble in her voice. “It only seems to work with a beak, actually.”
“As much as I want to hear about more of Dash’s likes, I feel like we’re getting off topic!” Putting her scone back on the cart, Pinkie rummaged around in her mane. “We’re here to fix some kind of problem.” Pulling out some construction paper, she held it out to Gilda. “Have you seen any of these guys around?”
Said paper was covered in crude Heartless drawings, drawn from pictures taken from Alex’s phone.
“Uh, Pinkie, I don’t think weird shadow monsters constitutes a friendship problem,” Dash said, reaching out to lower Pinkie’s arm. “They’d probably be an improvement over who lives here now.”
“You have heartless in Equestria?” Gilda questioned, eyes following the paper. “Looks like you aren’t as perfect as you pretend you are, huh?”
“Oooohhhhh, you know what Heartless are?” Pinkie smiled wide at this, and giggled as she looked over at Rainbow. “I told you it wasn’t a waste of crayons and glue.”
Gilda clicked her beak, moving from behind her cart. “Do you always ask stupid questions? I’m one of Griffonstone’s keybearers. Doesn’t pay anything but it beats this place getting even worse.”
“Wait, so you have a keyblade like Alex does?”
“Keybow, usually. Staying at range tends to be an advantage in aerial combat, Dash.” Gilda looked up at the sky for a few seconds before beginning to push her cart to another location. “I’m one of the few griffons who can turn their blade into more than one thing. Bow and dagger, something for all occasions.”
“That’s pretty cool!” Pinkie bounced behind her, a smile plastered on her face. “Maybe you and Alex can train together. I bet you’d have a lot of fun!”
“Yeah, well who says I want anything to do with someone ponies know? I’m a little busy here helping make sure the place isn’t overrun to go off somewhere purely for pleasure.”
“You doing something useful? As if,” Dash scoffed, tossing her mane back. “Gimme another one, G. I haven’t had my quota of ‘yeah rights’ today.”
“Says the weathermare who pines for being a stunt flier. Talk about useless. Both of you dweebs need to get off the streets, because I’m not going to make any special effort to protect two weak ponies.”
Dash growled, flaring her wings out. “Who are you calling weak, Gilda!? I fought Discord and changelings and all kinds of crazy stuff! All you do is push around a rickity cart and whack dumb shadows over the head!”
Gilda raised her right talon to point off into the distance where what looked like a huge black cloud was pouring up out of the ground. “Get inside unless you want those dumb shadows crawling down your throat to turn you into more of them from the inside out. The flying ones only seem to care about ‘easy prey’ they can see, and that means only bearers should be visible. One as ‘bait’ for a focal point. I got the short stick today.”
A loud knock at the door broke the relative silence of the early Saturday morning in the cottage. A few smaller animals scattered away and into their little cubby holes while Discord frowned in that direction while placing a couple plates of scrambled eggs on the table. “Alex, I think that colt from school might be paying you a visit. What was his name, Slugs?”
“Snails,” Alex corrected, sliding out of his chair. As it was a lazy weekend, he had opted for just a shirt and underwear. A choice he regretted when he opened the door and revealed Celestia. “...Oh, hi. Uh... I’m very underdressed.”
Celestia rolled her eyes and giggled softly. “You’re more covered than I am, Alex. I’m afraid I’m not here for a friendly family visit, however.” Her nostrils twitched a couple times, and a sad smile creased her features. “I’m here to ask you to accompany me to the deer town of Thicket, deep in the Everfree, so that I may introduce you to their keybearers and master. I do smell that you are still waking up and eating, however, so I think I can give you some time to get yourself set and ready to go.”
Alex stared at her. “Okay. So... do you wanna come in and wait or...?”
“I’d prefer not to intrude at this time, and I have my own little breakfast treat to enjoy while i wait for you.” Celestia took a couple steps back and away from the door before settling herself in place to wait. “Please, don’t feel that you need to rush. We don’t exactly have an appointment to keep.”
Giving her a thumbs up, Alex returned to the kitchen. “We have a princess on our porch,” he informed, retaking his seat. “She wants to take me to meet the deer.”
Fluttershy frowned and fluffed her wings. “I hope you have a better first impression than we did. It took me weeks to convince the animals that predators from the Everfree weren’t going to attack.”
“Hmm, I’m going to take a wild guess and say it’s my old flame.” Discord smirked and snapped his fingers, causing a faint glow to appear on the walls. “That should give you a bit of extra time to enjoy the meal instead of just shoving it all in your mouth.” With his other hand he spooned a small mound of seasoned, fried potato bits onto Alex’s plate.
“Thanks.” Alex picked up his fork, digging in. “So... you don’t like deer?” he asked, glancing at Fluttershy. “That’s new, M-Shy.” He caught himself, his face heating up slightly. Calling Discord dad came naturally. But calling Shy Mom? It brought a lot of conflicting emotions to the forefront of his mind.
“It’s less that I don’t like the deer and more that I don’t like how much they upset my animal friends by doing what they did.” Fluttershy sucked on an orange slice for a few seconds before chewing it and swallowing as she considered her next words. “Wear something that you won’t mind getting damaged when you go. Even with Princess Celestia with you, there are many dangerous plants that could cause rips and tears.”
Discord leaned on the table, watching as the salt and pepper shakers sprouted legs. “Don’t let them push you around either,” he warned, motioning for the containers to further season their food. “They have an obnoxious self-righteous attitude about them.”
“Okay so... what did they do?” Alex questioned, waving off the pepper shaker. He could always use more salt though.
“They started expanding the Everfree towards Ponyville because some minotaur creep was cutting down trees over by Appleloosa. You know, basically doing the same thing here that was being done to them there rather than facing down the cause of their problem directly.” Discord called the pepper shaker over to him after Alex waved it off. “Of course, as I understand it, their king tried to shift all the blame onto Equestria.”
Chewing thoughtfully, Alex tapped his fingers on the table. Ah great. A whole race like Diamond Tiara. “Sounds like I’m in for a fun time.” Ugh. He couldn’t think like that. They couldn’t all be jerks.
Fluttershy gave him a quick wing hug. “Go on and eat, Alex. It sounds like you're going to need all the energy you can get.”
“I’ll fix up something for you to bring along for lunch while you get dressed, too. I suspect the deer probably wouldn’t have too many things you could eat without puking afterwards.” Discord smiled while an image of a couple thick burgers appeared above Fluttershy’s head briefly.
Savoring what had been the start of a lazy day, Alex finished his breakfast. Excusing himself, he went to get properly dressed. Pulling on a pair of jeans and a generic shirt, he glanced in the mirror. His reflection bothered him less and less as the weeks went on, a silent acceptance that this was who he was now.
Dragging himself away from the mirror, he returned downstairs. “I guess I’ll be back later then,” he said, stopping only to pull his new boots on. Despite her normal output, Rarity could produce some very hardy utility wear.
Discord handed him a copy of his backpack, slightly smaller, and bright red. “Here you go, Alex. Lunch, and dinner just in case you’re out late, and a bunch of random drink flavors, none of them intentionally disgusting. Celestia may teleport you, so there’s a couple vomit bags in case you react poorly.”
“And don’t forget your coat,” Fluttershy said, hovering at Discord’s shoulder. “It’s getting colder out and I don’t want you getting sick.”
Taking the backpack, he tested its weight. Finding it agreeable, Alex took the time to don his coat and gloves. “I teleport with you all the time. I think I have a pretty good stomach for it.” Hefting the backpack on, he walked to the door. “I’ll try not to be out too late.”
Celestia was simply sitting there sipping from a simple thermos and reading a newspaper while waiting, and the sound of the door opening and closing simply prompted her to roll up the paper while looking up. “Oh, well that was...quick...hmmm. Discord did something, didn’t he?”
“Probably.” Alex shrugged, taking a breath of the crisp autumn air. “I stopped asking about the little things.”
“Well, to me I’ve only been waiting about two minutes.” She shook her head and stood up, capping off her thermos and tucking it into a simple saddlebag that seemed to blend in with her coat. “I’m not going to question good fortune though, since this will mean we get to Thicket earlier. Follow me, please, and let me know if you have trouble keeping up. We need to be inside the Everfree for a bit.”
Falling in beside her, he found himself having to quicken his pace to match her long stride. “You’re lucky I jog with Rainbow. I think I’d be having trouble if I was still my original height.”
“How is that going, actually?” She turned her head back to look at Alex while she walked towards the treeline. “Lady Aqua mentioned that it took her some time to get used to, oh, how did she put it? Being so leggy? I’m probably remembering wrong, but being around you seems to be making my old memories more vivid.”
“Getting used to being short’s taken a while to get used to, but hey, I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been so there's that.”
“And how are you adjusting to everything else?” She turned her head to face forward once more, and her pace slowed as they crossed the border into the shade of the forest. “You can talk to me about more personal matters, Alex. I am, perhaps, one of three individuals alive that know what you’re going through.”
Alex turned his attention to the forest, peering into its shaded domain. “I’d like to say that I’m doing okay but...” Shifting his backpack, he released a long sigh. “I think I’m going to see a professional for help. I’ve just been hung up on how to go about it.”
“What kind of help, Alex?” Celestia’s tone was polite while still being inquisitive. “I can tell you a few things to definitely not do, but I doubt any of those would be things Fluttershy would ever allow to begin with.”
“A mental health professional,” Alex explained, watching a squirrel leap between branches. “I care about Shy, Discord and Screwy a lot but I don’t know if I can word vomit all my problems on them.”
“You know that’s not what I meant, but if you’re not ready to open up about it to someone who would treat it like a state secret that’s fine.” She paused to look around through the trees and turned a bit to the right before moving deeper. “We’ve got about another fifteen minutes to walk before I can teleport us to Thicket, or at least within a mile of it.”
Alex sighed again, nodding his head. “I’m fine with that.” Biting his lip, he waited a bit in silence before speaking up again. “I don’t... I don’t think it’s about being female.”
“Oh? Funny, for me that was the most jarring part before I learned about the good sides of it.” Her wings fluttered for a moment, and a hand-sized blue spider fell off of her feathered appendage. “The fact that you think it’s not that means you’re already fifty years ahead of where I was at the end of my first year as a mare.”
Holding a hand up, he flexed his fingers. “I’m more bothered by not being... me...”
“But you are you, in mind if not in body.” She looked back once again, a calm smile on her face. “Some things might be a little different, but it’s your mind that makes you who you are.”
Frowning, Alex almost scoffed. “That’s easy for you to say. How would you react if you suddenly woke up as a minotaur with no way back?”
“Probably as poorly as I reacted to waking up as a mare the first time, only worse because I wouldn’t have any of the same abilities as a minotaur, and who knows what would happen to the sun as a result…” Celestia trailed off for a few seconds, then frowned. “But that’s not a valid comparison, is it? You’re still a human, even if you are a different looking one. A more fair question would be to ask me about what would happen if I woke up as Twilight or Applejack.”
“Yeah, and I could have easily become a puppet made out of crystal.” Twitching his fingers, he called Aubade to his hand. “Did you know, aubades are poems about lovers separating at dawn?”
Celestia actually cringed at that, a look of old pain crossing her features as she quickly looked forward once more. “And who are you trying to hide your love for that it sought you out?” That question came out in a tone as far from her normal, patient, regal voice as anything could possibly be. It was full of pain and shame, and had a bite to it like a frightened animal lashing out at someone trying to rescue it. “You don’t have one master telling you that your lover is unclean while the other tells you that you’re lucky to have found love at all.”
Alex just stared, quickly dismissing the blade. “Uh... forget I said anything, okay?” What was he even supposed to say to that? One of the oldest people he had ever known let slip a rather ugly experience. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Celestia simply stopped talking for a few minutes as they continued to walk, eventually making it to the top of a small hill that allowed them to see the ruins of the old Castle of the Two Sisters in front of them, and behind them Twilight’s castle loomed over the treeline. “It’s an old wound, Alex. One I thought long-healed, but it seems to be flaring up frequently lately when I think of the past. I-I used to have to shove Discord out the window before dawn, or I’d be in for an hour or more of being lectured about my dalliances with ‘another stallion’ by Starswirl while Lady Aqua gave approving gestures whenever she was out of his sight.”
“You know, the more I hear about him, the more I think he was a terrible person,” Alex commented, feeling a childish rush at the sight of the ruins. “I know you have to judge historical figures by the standards of the time. That being said, he just comes off as an asshole.”
“I suppose that he would to someone that didn’t know him, but he was a magical genius in many ways, and I can’t help but respect him for all the faults he had.” She stretched her wings out wide and lifted her head to gaze directly at the sun. “Stand close to me, and cover as much of your skin as possible. This is going to be warm.”
Pulling his hood up, Alex cast his gaze to the ground. “You know, I have no idea if this coat protects against light.” He closed his eyes, awaiting the teleport.
A moment of silence lingered, filled only with the sound of the wind and rustling leaves. This was broken by what sounded and felt like lightning striking less than a foot away from Alex, a flash of heat and deafening sound, then two seconds of weightlessness before he felt solid ground under his feet again. The only things missing were the smell of ozone and a sense of electricity. “Alright, it seems we’re about half a mile off-target, but we’re close now. The Everfree does seem to enjoy making me miss my destination.”
Pulling his hood back, Alex pat himself down. “Good job, Gwyn, you didn’t ruin my coat.” Giving her a thumbs up, he wore a dumb grin. “Otherwise, I’d make you pay Lee for a new one.”
Celestia stiffened and almost fell over midstep before catching herself and staring right into Alex’s eyes. “How do you know that name?”
“Uh, it’s the name of a fictional character from a game I played. Gwyn, Lord of Cinder.”
“That’s what Lady Aqua would call me whenever I did something exceptionally foolish in training, usually ending up hurting myself. She never told me where it came from, she just said I’d either find out one day or I wouldn’t.”
Regarding her curiously, Alex voiced his thoughts. “I think Aqua might have been like me. A Displaced.” Putting a hand on Celestia’s side, a sheepish expression replaced his smile. “Sorry. I’m not sure why I keep bringing up your past.”
‘It’s alright, Alex. I’m normally more in control of my reactions. I think I might need to get back in the habit of daily meditation exercises if things keep getting under my skin like this.” Celestia extended her wings up and out briefly before bringing one of them down around Alex and pulling him against her side. “I’m old enough not to let small annoyances bother me for too long anyways, I think it’s just that you ended up poking some old wounds while I’m already on-edge from news of recent heartless attacks.”
Patting her withers, Alex did his best to be comforting. “Yeah... It’s hard not to hear about it when you spend a lot of time with nobodies.” Ah how the tables turned. Now he was the one giving support for once. “Just remember, no one taken by the heartless is gone forever.”
“I know, Alex, but it still hurts to hear about ponies and other beings being attacked.” Celestia started moving forward slowly, carefully placing her hooves between a bunch of visible roots while looking down at the forest floor for the first few steps. “Let us continue on our way. Standing here focusing on our problems isn’t going to get us to the deer.”
Staying close to her side, Alex took in the sights and sounds of the deep forest. “Fluttershy told me they invaded Ponyville a while back.”
“They did, technically. That was also my fault because I failed to read the fine print on a document before signing it. They’re normally quite peaceful.”
“I mean... I don’t know a whole lot about how the government works but, why didn’t they just defend their turf? Just seems like they were making it someone else's problem.”
“Because we were told that ponies had sold our land, so we decided to take land from ponies.” A quiet voice came from Alex’s left as a doe seemed to fade into view, stepping out from behind a small bush full of browned leaves. “Does the tall monkey have more silly questions?”
Alex set his jaw, glaring at the new arrival. “I’m an ape, not a monkey, Bambi.”
“A primate, by any classification. I have no idea what a ‘bambi’ is, but you may call me Pinecone.” She turned slightly, looking up and nodding her head towards Celestia. “To what do we owe the honor of your presence in our home, Princess?”
Bowing her head slightly, Celestia cast a stern glance at Alex. “I was hoping to speak with your masters. Alex is one of Equestria’s promising new wielders and I think it would be good for him to see a wider range of techniques.”
Pinecone blinked at this, looking from Celestia to Alex while bringing one foreleg up to scratch under her muzzle. A few seconds later she pointed that foreleg at Alex, but stopped short of poking or touching him with it. “You realize this is a female, yes? Or is this monkey like the seahorse?”
Celestia raised her head, turning her hard gaze to Pinecone. “His name is Alex, and as long as he feels that he is male, he shall be referred to as such.”
She looked back down to Alex with a frown, then shook her head. “Very well, I shall escort you and Alex the seahorse-monkey the rest of the way to Thicket. King Aspen is currently in a meeting.”
Alex bit back an insult, slowly breathing out through his nose. They weren’t going to get a rise out of him. He’d behave himself, at least until they did something truly outrageous.
‘Oh please. You don’t even know what gender you are. You’re kidding yourself if you think you can keep your angst in check, filly.’
Pinecone led the way almost silently. Her hooves didn’t make a sound as she stepped, and she spoke only to warn them away from stepping on some patches of green moss. “Those are compost-hole covers growing on a woven mat of branches. Both of you are heavy enough to fall right through and getting you out would be...troublesome.”
The trip was much easier for himself than it was for Celestia. “You could borrow Widow’s Fang,” he offered her after a near fall. “The legs should be able to hold you up.”
Celestia shook her head, though she did smile at the kind offer. “I’m not yet so feeble in my old age as to need assistance walking, Alex,” she smiled to show that she wasn’t taking offense. “I also need the exercise. I’ve grown too used to marble halls and perfect floors.”
“If you say so.” Alex considered using Widow’s Fang himself but discarded it. He’d much rather catch a few deer off guard. He didn’t bother asking how far they were, content to just walk. Despite Pinecone’s abrasiveness, it was a serene route.
Gilda positioned herself behind her cart, her keyblade in hand. All but the other bearers had taken shelter, a practiced habit honed over the years. Clicking her beak, she transformed her weapon into a bow. “Why do I always get the shit job?”
“Because you’re good at being bait,” another griffon, this one with a green tint to her white facial feathers, called out from an upstairs window in a nearby building.
“Nobody asked you, Greta!” Gilda barked, drawing her arrow back. “Next time, it's your ass on the line, got it?”
“Yeah yeah, don’t lay an egg. You know I’ve got your tail covered.” Greta slipped back out of sight, with only a slight glint of sunlight off of metal giving away that there was anything there.
Flicking her tail, Gilda held her position. Adrenaline seeped into her blood, the sweet nectar of battle. Closer. Aim adjusted ever so slightly. Closer. Right to the big one in the front. Closer. An arrow formed in her grasp, a pulsing shard of energy. A moment passed as the swarm descended onto the city. In the following moment, Gilda loosed her opening strike.
Her arrow pierced the breast of her quarry, sinking deep into its shadowy form. The beast, a strange mix of bat and stone, shrieked in fury. Its furious yellow eyes locked onto Gilda, descending from its comrades.
“Gotcha.” Gilda smirked as the arrow exploded, smaller strands of light lancing out. Many heartless evaporated, their captive hearts rising into the sky. “Light em up!”
The fireworks display of that first heartless, followed by Gilda’s shout acted as the signal for all nearby members of the guard. Griffons flew out of windows or other forms of cover from above and spun around in midair to fire up and out from the initial contact area. Some arrows glowed with combat magic, creating explosions of fire, ice, or lightning when they struck their targets. These acted as further signals, and soon arrows were flying up towards the cloud of heartless from all over the city.
Another shriek snatched her attention. Spreading her wings, she pushed herself back just as the bat's claws snatched up her cover. “Not dead huh? Well aren’t you the tough one?” Shifting her weapon, she brandished a pair of sai. “I can respect that.”
Three green-feathered arrows lodged themselves in the back and wing joints of the heartless before dissipating into a foul-smelling cloud that clung to the beast, and a fourth caused a few bright sparks as it glanced off the top of the creature’s head. “Stop respecting and start fighting, Gilda, before I miss it and hit you!”
“Go snort catnip!” Several powerful wing beats closed the distance between herself and the heartless as she split her bow and reshaped the halves into twin daggers with a thought. Heartless weren’t like living things. They didn’t have organs. Some had a weak spot, necessitating special tactics. A special thrill ran down Gilda’s spine as one of her blades cut across the shadowy mass. There was no blood, only the strange flashes of light that denoted a hit.
This was what the guards of Griffonstone lived for. At the core of all their bitching and laziness, the primal hunter waited. All of her complaints, misgivings, pettiness. It all melted away in battle. There was no miser here. No demanding bits for aid. Those thoughts had no place in a hunting party.
“Wow, I had no idea Gilda was a trained badass…” Rainbow Dash remarked while watching the battle in the sky through a pristine window. “I mean, it makes sense that she is since I’d be right out there with her if I had a magic key that turned into weapons.”
“I know, right? She’s all, like, scree, and bloosh, and kapowie-blammo with those arrows, and then she made daggers!” Pinkie practically danced in place while mimicking what was going on outside. “I wish we could meet whoever trained her.”
“You’re loafing in my house, darn freeloading ponies. Here! I suppose I have to feed you too now that Gilda claimed protection for you!” The vulture-headed male griffon shoved two stone-grey objects towards the two mares. “Eat while you can. Soon as this hassle’s over I’m kicking you out.”
Pinkie held up the object, narrowing her eyes critically. Leaning in, she took a long, deep sniff. Seemingly displeased with the result, she took a bite out of it. Three chews was all she could bear. Spitting the bite out, she frowned. “Is... is that a twig?” she questioned, eyeing the almost petrified wood now visible.
“So what if it is? You got a problem with my secret recipe? Thought you ponies ate plants.” He gave Pinkie a mean glare, then sighed. “Thought it was a cinnamon stick.”
“We’re not termites, we don’t eat wood,” Dash rebuked, managing to tear her eyes away from the spectacle. “Who throws an entire stick of cinnamon into a... what is this anyway?”
“Griffonstone Griffon Scone. My recipe, Gilda bakes them with me.”
Continually inspecting the ‘scone’, Pinkie frowned. These had to be some of the sorriest excuses of pastries she had ever seen. While not sickening like the baked bads, thank Faust, they were an affront to the art of cooking. “I think your recipe might need a bit of work...”
“Hmph, that recipe’s older than I am, you pink eyesore. Handed down for generations, just like I’ll be handing it down to Gilda for her hatchlings.” He grumbled while walking over to a small book next to a brick oven. “But, here, if you’re so smart you figure out how to improve it!”
Tossing her ‘scone’ to Dash, Pinkie was by the oven faster than the old griffon could blink. Already, she had her muzzle deep into the old tome. “Oh yeah! There’s a lot to work with here. A few ingredient changes and some additions and you’ll have the best scones this side of the Celestial Sea!”
Rainbow Dash looked at the scone and shrugged before attempting to take a bite out of it for herself. 'Attempting' being the key word. She flinched and immediately regretted her decision as she felt something pinch in her jaw before her teeth could even make a dent in the dense ‘pastry.’ “Yeesh. I’m surprised you could even take a bite of that thing, Pinkie. It’s so hard you could use it as a weapon.”
“I grew up eating rock soup with my family, Dashie. Everything else tastes better, but you don’t lose that kind of jaw strength.” Pinkie responded while searching through the baking supplies the old vulture kept. “Where’s your baking soda?”
Gruff clicked his beak, his feather ruffling. “Did I say you could bake in my house? Ya plan on replacing what you use?”
“Tell you what, you let me go wild making the best scones you’ve ever tasted and I’ll not only replace what I use with fresh ingredients, I’ll leave you enough to make the recipe twenty times over!”
“Let me guess, you want me to make a supply run in the middle of the attack, Pinkie?”
“Well, it would be a big help, Dashie. I’m gonna need…”
Pinecone walked through a curtain of hanging vines and brushed them aside to help Alex and Celestia through. “Our training grounds are this way. Some of our newer keybearers are there now with a couple mud puppies.”
Sharing a glance with Celestia, Alex kept his mouth shut. At least they weren’t directing it all at him.
Celestia simply stepped through the curtain and then kept walking through the next set of vines without waiting for Pinecone to move them herself. A golden glow enveloped the green mass and parted it for Alex to follow her. This was accompanied by a series of odd, wet, slapping and squelching sounds that came from somewhere nearby. “I believe we can find our way there from here ourselves.”
“Well that sounds familiar,” Alex muttered, moving past Pinecone without a second thought. Water training had been axed for the next few months, Fluttershy having demanded so on the grounds of it becoming much too cold for such things.
“Very well, then. I shall deliver the news of your arrival to King Aspen as soon as his current meeting is over, and I shall inform him of your current location. It would, of course, be best if you two stayed at the training grounds rather than... wandering off. The forest tends to make foolish children go missing.”
Alex bit the inside of his cheek. She wasn’t worth it, he told himself. Quickening his step, he leaned in conspiratorially. “Are they all like that?” he whispered.
“To be fair, she was probably patrolling for lost ponies or Everfree creatures that even the deer are rightfully afraid of. That doesn’t excuse her being worse than Canterlot nobles from centuries ago, but it’s not likely she thought she was going to run into me today either.” Celestia kept her voice low as well while walking towards where the noises were coming from. “I’ll be bringing up the idea of anti-rudeness training with Aspen when we talk, though.”
“Yeah... I think they’re going to need some anti-racism training.”
The trees began to thin, giving way to a clearing. Deer of various sizes and colors hurried to and fro, most wearing some form of armor. How exactly they worked metal, he couldn’t guess. They seemed like a special kind of luddite.
What stole his attention, were the bipedal canines that stood at the shores of a small pond. “Those are diamond dogs, right?” he asked, not wishing to emulate Pinecone.
“That would be correct, Alex. More than that, observe that one of them has their legs half-buried in the earth, and the earth is extending upwards around them. That particular dog happens to be one of the rare canine shamans known as Earthcallers. They are as adept at telling the dirt or stone to do things as a unicorn can be with telekinesis, or even more depending on who taught them or how old they are.” Celestia pointed with one of her wings briefly as a few large, nearly spherical forms waddled up out of the water.
Geomancers! Alex’s eyes twinkled with a childlike awe. A trio of Large Bodies stepped out of the water, their rotund forms made of dripping clay. One slapped its belly with a wet thwack, charging rather comically at the nearest trainee.
That trainee happened to be a young tan-furred buck with vibrant red eyes. The keyblade gripped in his teeth glinted slightly as he leapt to the side and tried to circle around the clay heartless copy. There was no handguard, and the shaft was made of nasty-looking thorned branches wound together with a delicate pink flower for teeth. He wasn’t able to move fast enough to get behind the rotund facsimile, so he charged at it instead, and attempted a leaping strike at its head.
“He should have baited it into a charge and blocked it,” Alex commented, shifting his focus to the buck. “It opens up a Large Body for a reaction.”
“No comments from the peanut gallery while training is in progress!” the dog with the mud-covered legs barked out without looking. Her large paws twitched briefly, and the buck was swatted away by the clay ‘body’ to skid in the muddy clearing. “Let the trainees make mistakes their first time seeing something new, then teach them how to overcome it together if none of them figure it out from watching the others.”
Alex chuckled nervously, muttering a soft apology. “Right. Keep my comments to myself.”
‘You’re as spineless as a slug, you know that right?’
“Is that... Scarlet of Ebonstone, or am I thinking of a different Earthcaller?” Celestia called out while striding towards the two canines. “I do apologize for our interruption, but Alex’s observation was correct.”
“Of course it was, but some pups only learn from failure, so we must let them fail at least once.” The other dog spoke up while turning to face Celestia and Alex, followed by giving both of them a respectful bow. “Please, watch silently for now, lest Earthcaller Scarlet use her powers to temporarily bind your muzzles with stone.”
Alex nodded, standing with Celestia at the marked edge of the training area. Each blunder on the buck’s part made him cringe. What came from playing the game and what his training told him had blurred together. A certain hype began to build in his chest, the urge to call Aubade forth growing.
Celestia looked over at Alex while offering the speaking dog a nod of acknowledgement. Her horn lit and she summoned a few cushions for herself and a small chair and table for Alex to use while they waited. Her thermos was also pulled back out from the saddlebags hidden under her wings, and she began to sip from it every so often as they watched the anti-Large Body training continue.
Taking the offered seat with a thankful smile, Alex placed his backpack on the table. It was too early to eat again, which left him digging around for something to drink. Ah. Cotton Candy Faygo. The drink of the gods.
Mud erupted in all directions, the clay beast leaping up and bringing its weight back down. Leaping up just a bit too late, the buck found himself washed away by a tide of mud. Motion elsewhere in the training field revealed another buck, slightly taller than the other, attempting to leap over the large body that was currently dancing and swinging its arms in front of him. Another trainee, this one most likely a young doe, was keeping an eye on her golem and watching it carefully, studying the way it moved.
‘Look at them. Like foals. Even dirt knocks them on their flanks. How pathetic, don’t you think? Why don’t you call out my sister’s leftovers and show them how to do it?’
Alex silently cheered the doe on, sandbagging Nightmare’s chattering. He noted she seemed to have a superior understanding of battle than the buck. He smiled as the doe leapt around a charge and drove her key into the golem’s back. He didn’t envy her becoming covered in muck.
“Very good. Now if only the other two showed as much promise in their ability to observe and analyze a foe.” Scarlet spoke up in praise for the doe and motioned for her to approach. “Part of your reward, other than simple praise, is you get to watch your comrades flail about until they figure it out for themselves. The other is a tasty cookie. Odie, give the doe a cookie.”
“My name is Candyflower, and thank you.” The doe strode towards the two dogs while turning her head to the side and slipping her red-and-white-striped keyblade into a harness at her side. It looked like a giant peppermint stick without the spiral for the red lines. She faltered for a moment as she looked towards Alex and Celestia, nearly tripping over her own legs.
Alex stepped closer, offering a hand. “You okay? I didn’t think mud hit that hard.”
“Y-you…” Candyflower paused and finished approaching the two canines before accepting what looked like a rather large, flat stone from the one that was presumably named Odie. She then walked over to offer a deep bow to Celestia before placing the cookie on the small table Alex was sitting at. It wasn’t directly in front of him, and she moved to sit opposite from him before clearing her throat. “You look like the images we have of the ancient master here, like a skinny minotaur with no horns and a strange face.”
“Humans, young doe. Alex, and Lady Aqua, call their species humans.” Celestia interjected while smiling as she observed the ongoing training exercise.
Smiling, Alex retook his seat. “Scientific name being homo sapien. We’re a branch of the great ape family, and the only human species still around.” He reached out, taking one of her hooves. “I’m Alex. Alex Lionheart.”
“Oh, I’m Candyflower. It’s nice to meet a member of the old master’s species. Most deer think your kind is a myth.” She took her hoof back quickly, but without trying to be rude about it, and brought it down on the stony-looking cookie, breaking it into bite-size pieces and a few crumbs.
Watching curiously, Alex gingerly lifted a piece up. It looked like a crumbly piece of rock, very different from the rock candy he had been expecting. “What kind of cookie is this?” he questioned, putting the piece back down.
Candyflower scooped up a piece in her mouth and started chewing, then hummed appreciatively before swallowing a couple times. “Like vanilla beans mixed with chocolate and milk...and slightly cold on the tongue. Rather nice, actually.”
“Huh, sounds nice,” Alex commented, retrieving his water bottle. Taking a long drink, he took the moment to watch the buck from before fall victim to a belly flop. “He doesn’t seem to be doing all that great.”
“Oh, right, I’m supposed to be watching them! Would you mind if I sat next to you?”
Shaking his head, Alex put his hands behind his head. “Nope. Make yourself comfortable, Candy.”
She smiled and quickly walked around to the other side of the table so she could observe what was happening, just in time to visibly flinch as the unlucky buck pulled himself up out of the muck left all over the training field. “Prince Bramble isn’t our best fighter, but he’s still learning. This is his first year with a blade, but he’s also the only first-year trainee. Bloodroot should be doing better than him, but he’s a little...dumb.”
Said other buck was currently hammering away at the armored front of the motionless clay Large Body Each impact produced a sound much like a clay pot being tapped by a hoof or claw. As soon as he took a step back on his own, the false heartless jumped up and fell directly on top of him.
Alex winced. “Yeah, that sounds like a problem. Are they at least improving?”
“Bramble’s actually improving faster than Bloodroot is right now, but Bloodroot has definitely improved since last year. For one thing, he learned how to channel magic to heal himself. That means we don’t have to take him to the infirmary after every training session.”
A feeling of sympathy blossomed over Alex. Sure, they weren’t fighting actual opponents like him. That didn’t mean the training wasn’t intensive. “Yeah, Cure is a pretty great spell. Pretty draining though.”
Bramble seemed to have finally gotten a feel for fighting this kind of opponent. He had frozen in one place, and baited a charge only to leap over the top of the clay golem’s head and strike its back with a series of solid impacts on the way down. The clay being was sent flying straight at the two dogs, only to collapse and dissolve before it could reach them.
“Adequate, princeling. You may rest for a few minutes.” Scarlet turned her head to stare straight at Alex and smirked. “Does the loudmouth wish to rescue the fool?”
Standing up, Alex shrugged. “Sure why not?” Stepping away, Alex summoned Aubade. Taking his time, he walked around the quivering bulk of clay. Flinging Aubade forward, the blade cut through the animated mud. Its shape collapsed, becoming a massive mud puddle.
Bloodroot stood up slowly and quickly shook his head to fling away the muck that had clung to his fur and antlers. “Thanks for the assist, skinny. I don’t get how she makes some parts of them hard and other parts soft. It’s all just the same mud…” He wobbled a little as he started walking away, then turned back around and started fishing through the puddle. “Stupid, almost forgot Bigroot.”
“Good job, stranger. Will you allow me a quick test of your abilities?” Scarlet addressed Alex with something that was close to respect in her voice, and even offered him a slight bow.
Catching Aubade as it arched back, Alex gave a thumbs up. “Sounds fine to me. Do your mud magic, friendly doggo.” Resting Aubade on his shoulder, Alex moved through a short series of stretches. “Alright. Ready when you are.”
“Let’s start small, then, just to make sure that easy victory of yours wasn’t a fluke.” Scarlet lifted her arms and spread her fingers apart, and most of the mud on the field was pulled onto a dozen or so distinct blobs. A few seconds later, and the blobs of mud had gained a monkey-like shape, including a tail. Two round ears sat on the sides of their heads and what looked like a bow made of mud stuck to the back. They had what looked like a forked stick in one hand.
Alright, just a handful of Bouncywilds. Rolling his shoulders, Alex assumed a stance. Both hands on the hilt, feet spread apart. Taking a step forward, he waited for Scarlet to start the exhibition.
Scarlet didn’t even make a move other than dropping her arms to her side before the dozen imitation heartless began to hop and flail around. It was an eerily perfect, if silent, imitation of the behavior of the actual heartless entities as they scrambled around and moved as far away from Alex as they could get while staying within around thirty feet of him.
His feet were moving, taking him to the closest. Thrusting forward, Aubade pierced the chest of the first. Giving his body a certain level of automation, he cut through a few hardened mud balls. Another motion, this time a spell. Strands of air flowed about him, redirecting a few more projectiles away from him.
One ball that was coming straight at him in what seemed like a lazy arc not only ended up curving around his keyblade, it also passed through that air barrier, as if nothing was there, to smack right into his face. A couple seconds later another one smashed into the back of his head, being similarly unimpeded by the aero-type spell.
“Oh, that’s low,” Alex muttered, pulling his hood up. Rolling through the mud, he caught another golem in the back. Now was the time to show off. Give them a reason to take him seriously. Aubade transformed in his hands, separating into two parts.
In his dominant hand was the blade that formed Aubade’s shaft in its default configuration. In his off-hand he now held a mostly-circular shield that resembled a golden sunburst with a green gem in the center. Spikes extended around the edge of the shield, with the longest one extending backwards along his arm to his elbow.
Keeping his shield in front of him, Alex confidently closed on the next golem. Digging his heel into the mud, he pivoted to the right. Hours of dodging sniper fire had ingrained in him a certain intuition in regards to projectiles. Even as Aero swirled about him, his sudden turn allowed his shield to absorb a hit.
“Interesting tactic, young pup. Allowing yourself to be hit without actually being hit. Smart to not depend entirely upon magic.” Scarlet clapped twice, and the monkey-shaped heartless bubbled for a moment before dissolving into a large puddle.
Alex kept his stance, bouncing on his heels. He took the complement in stride, more concerned with what the shaman had lined up for his next test.
“Let’s see how well you fare against a deep-tunnel heartless.” Scarlet crouched down and allowed the mud around her to travel up her arms to the elbow, and the ground rumbled beneath Alex’s feet as the muck began to shift and move about. Two huge boots were the first things to form, followed by gauntlets with evil-looking spiky fingers. Finally, after almost a minute of waiting for the rumbling to stop, a spike-topped helmet and huge armored torso erupted from the ground alongside a shower of stones.
The pieces moved close to each other before assembling in a rough approximation of a human body, with the boots stomping around for a few seconds while the hands of the gauntlets flexed.
Releasing a string of curses, bringing his shield up to ward off the rain of rocks. “Deep tunnel my ass,” he hissed, daring a glare back at the dog.
That proved to be a mistake, though one that wasn’t too costly as the clawed fingers of the gauntlets scraped across the face of his shield before returning to their places at the side of the bell-shaped torso piece. As if mocking him, one hand rotated to turn its palm up, and then beckoned him forward in a classic ‘come on then’ gesture.
And join the battle he did. Despite being alone, Alex did not fear his odds. It was just a matter of translating an outside perspective into a personal one. A shield bash knocked away a gauntlet, giving him an opening to the golem's torso. Pushing off the ground, his sword hacked away at his opponent. He didn’t even register that he stayed in the air longer than he should have. Allowing himself to fall, he stabbed a sharp end of his shield into the construct, cutting along its body on the way down.
The battle didn’t take too long before pieces started to fall to the ground. First the gauntlets dropped and landed with a wet splat, then the boots shortly after. Even the spinning ‘attacks’ of the torso afterwards were almost laughable. Soon he’d managed to strike a telling blow that sent the torso piece of the armor tumbling to the ground with the helmet rolling away.
A soft sound of hooves clopping together heralded the subdued applause of Princess Celestia, and both Bramble and Candyflower were quick to join in.
“It’s not over,” he rebutted, putting a good ten feet between him and the inanimate armor.
“And how does a pup know the battle has not finished?” This came from Odie, and was followed by a yelp as a wad of mud slapped into the side of his face from the lake.
“Perhaps not a pup after all, despite looking immature.” Scarlet chided her companion as the pieces of the armored heartless began to rise again at her silent and unseen command, with the torso section inverting and the boots rising up. The gauntlets forced themselves underneath the floating torso, and the helmet rolled up to set itself atop what was previously the lower skirt section. The fingers of the gauntlets extended straight out and clacked as they locked in place while the boots folded in half to create pincers. Finally, the odd faceguard of the helmet lowered, revealing nothingness inside.
Clicking his tongue, Alex studied the floating limbs. Take out the arms first, he told himself. Wait for them to split up. Bringing his shield up, Alex threw out a wisp of fire. “Come get some, asshole.”
As if in response to that little burst of flame, the armor flipped itself over in midair and splayed out the limbs to arrange them as if supporting the torso to point at Alex. A few seconds later it began to launch basketball-sized clumps of mud and leaves at him in a series of five blasts.
“That is not cool.” Bracing himself, he splashed down into the mud. Celestia had to have a clothes cleaning spell, he told himself. Ignoring the mud clinging onto him, Alex sprung up from his roll. His momentum propelled him further than gravity should have allowed.
Bringing his chokutō forward, he cut into the golem’s left arm. For several seconds, he lingered in the air, slashing and stabbing with his weapons. Then he was in the mud again, putting distance between them.
The armor spun around slowly after the beating Alex gave it, and it took more than a few seconds for it to reorient itself and pull itself back together. Almost immediately, though, the pincer-like arms that used to be its legs began to spin around and were soon launched at Alex along with the helmet.
Bashing the first limb away, Alex cast balloon. He backed up, baiting it into the circle. He smirked, being rewarded with the eternally gratifying sound of balloons popping. Both leg-arms returned to the mud that spawned them, leaving only the head.
Alex’s focus was stolen away from the floating, spinning helmet by the sensation of sharp claws slashing into his back as the other parts of the floating armor assembly took advantage of his inattention towards them. Being made of mud, the pain was mostly from the force of impact rather than actually being cut.
“Pup needs to learn to multitask sight as well,” came the quick observation from Odie, followed by a simple grunt from Scarlet.
The weapons that had been Aubade shifted in his hands, replaced by Evolution’s Edge. Altering it into its rifle form, Alex sent several shots boring into the armor section. Greenish bolts quickly made short work of the armor. His weapon snapped to one of the gauntlets, sending more energy lancing into it.
Snapping his head to the remaining gauntlet, Alex vented his frustration in its destruction. The rifle shifted into its scythe form. Aiming its blade towards himself, he jabbed it under his arm, piercing the helmet through its open faceplate.
“Good enough for you!?” Alex called out, allowing his weapon to vanish.
“Interesting technique, and how quickly are you able to alter the form of your blade, young apprentice?” A new, masculine voice came from the direction of the city, drawing Alex’s attention.
“Ah, this is the pup I mentioned that sparred with a minotaur.” The other voice was feminine, and vaguely familiar to Alex’s ear. He’d heard it at least once before.
“Aspen, and Isabella, how nice to see the two of you together.” Celestia spoke up while standing, and began to approach the two. “Alex is quite the apprentice, as you can see.” She bowed her head slightly towards Aspen. “I hope we’re not interrupting anything, King Aspen.”
Alex dispelled his keyblade, wiping some mud from his face. It just had to be mud. Tolerating the muck for now, he made his way back to the table. “Please tell me one of you knows prestidigitation? I’m not putting up with muddy clothes.”
“Scarlet, pull your tools off the apprentice. His abuse was not part of your schedule today.”
“Of course, your lowness.” Alex felt a slight tremble go through his clothes and body before fine streamers of earth and mud started peeling away from his body and flying through the air towards the geomancer at the edge of the pond.
Whistling in wonder, Alex watched the flow of material. “That’s a handy spell. Is that a form of Quake or something different entirely?”
“Hmph. Quake is a crude mimicry of what we Earthcallers can do, pup. However, it is good that you can spot the connection at least. I do suppose there is a certain amount of finesse in making sure you at least hit the correct target with the simple imitation.” Scarlet spoke as she continued to peel off streamers of mud to collect them into a large ball over her head. “I assume you are being tutored in magic by a unicorn?”
“Alicorn, actually. My former student, now fellow princess, Twilight Sparkle and Alex are being taught by my sister.”
Eyeing the growing orb, Alex kept himself still. It was a surreal experience, but not all that different from what Sonata had done before. “I also have a copy of Aqua’s spellbook. It helps out a lot.”
“Ah, yes, that would help. Lady Aqua’s mastery of war magic is legendary even to the deer. I hope you are keeping such an old tome in good condition.”
“He doesn’t need to worry about the condition, King Aspen, that book has had so many protective spells used on it over the centuries to protect against age and wear that it is practically invulnerable.”
“Wait, you gave me the actual book?” Alex asked. “I thought it was just a copy.”
“You have a special copy that magically refers to the original, Alex, the one with Aqua’s notes. If my sister or I were to go and add or remove a page from the original, it would appear or vanish from your copy as well. Were it not for the layered protections, such a connection would work both ways. This is just the way things are done once a noteworthy and valuable historic piece reaches a certain age and the original becomes too precious to be moved.”
Clearing his throat, Aspen caught the pair's attention. “I was informed you wished to speak with me, Princess. Something about training techniques?”
“Oh, yes. This is something I will have to bring up with Alex’s guardian, and adoptive mother, but I was hoping you would be amenable to Alex spending a week or two during the summer here with your instructors being taught a different style of keyblade use so that he might be more flexible in combat and not totally set to only one fighting style. This is something I wish to talk with the leaders of most intelligent species about, so the fact that Isabella is here as well simply saves time, and another trip.”
Isabella simply laughed softly. “One more pup to train for a few weeks isn’t a problem for me, but best get the mother’s approval first, especially if you want him to visit Griffonstone.” Tail wagging slightly, Isabella gestured to Alex. “Have you been underground before, pup?”
“I uh... did some minor spelunking at camp but uh, no can’t say I’ve really been underground,” Alex said, wishing he had gotten out of the house more. “My friends tried to drag me out to a cave once but I wouldn’t go.”
“Camp, as in to go somewhere in the wilderness and sleep for a few days? Bah, nevermind. As long as you don’t completely panic in cramped spaces you’ll be fine.” Isabella waved her hand dismissively after a few seconds. “Do you eat meat and mushrooms? Do you react poorly to moss? I’d rather not accidentally poison a unique individual like you.”
“I can eat most mushrooms fine and I do eat meat. I don’t know a single human who's ever eaten moss, but I don’t think I’d get anything out of it.”
Isabella blinks in confusion for a moment, then shakes her head with a low laugh. “Not as food. Ponies call it...carpet? We grow mosses to pad corridors naturally. Some dogs need shoes because of bad breeding giving them a sensitivity to something in it.”
All Alex could do was give a noncommittal shrug. “I dunno. Never been around that much moss. I think it’d be fine? Maybe? We could probably do an allergy test beforehand, if you can share a sample.”
“Allergy, that’s one of the words I keep forgetting.” The tan dog smiles and nods. “I will see that we send a sample of the mosses to your residence to ensure minimal problems. I would suggest you bring your own cushions when you visit us. Dogs tend to prefer firm support during sleep and pony visitors tend to complain about things being too hard.”
Aspen tsked, walking around Alex. “You smell of chaos, Filly.” His ears flicked, almost pinning backwards. “We don’t normally allow such creatures into Thicket. Our city is peaceful and we keep it that way.”
“King Aspen, Alex prefers to be addressed as male despite his body, as this is not the body he was born with,” Celestia chimed in quickly before Alex could say anything. “And as for chaos, he has sort of been adopted by Discord, who I had a child with many centuries ago, and I can vouch that Alex is nowhere close to her level and I’m sure that’s just some ambient magic stuck to his clothes.”
Snorting, Aspen jumped back. “You bring a spawn of Discord to my kingdom? It seems pony society has degenerated more than I had thought. I should throw you out on your fank, foal.”
“Adopted, I said.” Celestia shook her head and snorted softly. “As far as I know, Discord had no part in his birth.” Her body shifted, edging herself between Alex and Aspen. “Even still, are not the deer above such base prejudices?”
“Chaos can be peaceful, even if it is disruptive,” Alex spoke up quickly, with his eyes narrowing. “And small amounts of chaos are beneficial in the long run. Without the natural chaos of flowing water and streams you’d have nothing but stagnant lakes and swampland, and stagnant water is unhealthy to drink because all kinds of parasites can be found in stagnant water.”
Aspen chuckled, peering around Celestia. “You certainly know how to pick your apprentices.” Relaxing his stance, he motioned for Celestia to move. “Continue in such a way, and perhaps I will consider your princess’s request.”
“Continue in such a way? I’m not going to be here longer than a few more hours as far as I know. I definitely didn’t pack enough for much more than that, and Fluttershy would get angry if I stayed overnight without notice...so how are you going to judge how suitable I am based on a miniscule amount of time observing me?”
“Then, you best impress me, doe.” Stepping towards the test givers, Aspen gazed out onto the lake. “How fared the apprentices today? Improved, I should hope.”
Scarlet chuckled briefly. “Your son indeed shows improvement, as does Candyflower. Bloodroot seems to have plateaued and may require a different instructor or method of instruction to pierce his thick skull. The pup managed to vanquish a number of small tunnel monkeys in addition to the violent sentinel you saw him destroy.” She waved at Alex for that last bit. “Obvious combat experience against actual foes in addition to knowing war magic. I suspect he has been taught by many masters at once.”
Alex puffed his chest out, taking the praise as it came. Finally, someone who wasn’t his normal circle could see how well he was doing.
‘You’re like a puppy. They could say your breath is fresh and you’d become a lap dog.
As the battle with the heartless raged overhead, Rainbow Dash observed a battle of a different sort occur in front of her as Pinkie went through the recipe and compared it to the nearly inedible scones that had been offered to the two of them earlier. Opposing her was the angry, vulture-headed Grandpa Gruff.
“And what’s wrong with pebbles in a scone? Some of us have gizzards, and we need stones every now and then.”
“So offer the pebbles as something on the side, or at least clean them off before you dump them in the batter. I grew up on a rock farm, so eating rocks is nothing new for me, but the dirt ruins the flavor!” Pinkie proved her point by blowing a dust cloud off of the bowl of pebbles. “Wash them a day before you bake so they dry out and don’t add extra moisture to the mix, and if you miss the texture you can add some stale breadcrumbs or something to simulate the grit.”
Dash groaned, feeling the onset of a headache. “There’s griffons fighting shadow monsters, and you two are arguing about putting stones in food!? The hay is wrong with you!?”
Gruff glared at Rainbow Dash for a few seconds. “So you liked the scone I gave you earlier then? Maybe you have a weapon that can hurt the darklings, and you’re eager to lose a couple feathers in a fight? No? Then shut up while we go over how to fix what is apparently a crappy recipe!” He took a deep breath and then turned back to look at Pinkie with a much calmer expression and demeanor. “That makes sense, actually, and you mentioned soaking the cinnamon sticks in the heavy cream instead of just dropping them in the batter while mixing, and then grating a bit of extra into the dry mix for a fine powder?”
Pinkie nodded eagerly while bouncing in place. “Yepparoonie! You can even reuse the wet cinnamon sticks for multiple batches if you’re careful and keep them chilled along with the cream. Grating them into a powder before mixing in ensures a more even distribution of flavor into every bite, so you don’t have to chew on the stick to get it. You’ll also go through fewer cinnamon sticks this way, what with not having to make sure there’s one jammed into each scone.”
“Gah!” Dash took flight, her wings giving the hummingbird a run for its money. “Screw this! I’m going to help Gilda!”
“Use the door so your hips don’t get caught in the window. I don’t want to stare at your backside for the next hour.” Gruff snapped at Dash before turning his attention back to Pinkie. “Going through fewer sticks would mean less money wasted, but I’m sure your other suggestions are going to suck up some of the extra profit margin you just introduced.” The conversation between the two continued as Dash followed the old jerk’s suggestion.
Dash always stuck out. Only two other ponies had her main colors; something her family took pride in. Here, against the dull greys and browns of Griffonstone and the black, wriggling shapes of heartless, she almost seemed like a living streak of light.
Her trail shone against the roiling blackness. Tunnel vision overrode common sense, leading her to ram right into the back of the bat heartless. “I gotcha, G!” she announced proudly, appearing next to her wayward friend.
“Dash? Why in the sky’s name are you out here?! You’re unarmed and untrained!” Gilda quickly flipped over in the air and slashed at a bat-wing shadow that passed over the two of them. “I’m a warrior, not a cubsitter!”
Snorting, Dash weaved through a retaliatory swipe from the giant bat. “I know how to fight, Gilda! I can kick the flank of any of these freaks.”
“Knowing how and being able to are different things, Dash! You don’t have a weapon that can touch them!” Gilda reached out to grab one of Dash’s forelegs to get her out of there. “Now is not the time to be stupid.”
Jerking her leg away, Dash whinied. “I’m not leaving until you’re safe, G.”
Snapping her beak, Gilda shoulder checked Dash towards the ground. “Forget about your ego, Dash. You literally can’t hurt them, so just go back with Grandpa Gruff.” Brandishing her daggers, Gilda cut across the beast’s chest.
Before Dash could react, a set of strong talons had wrapped around her barrel. “Don’t worry, I got...you aren’t a griffon.” A confused male voice spoke as its owner dragged her out of the air. “Nevermind, gonna get you to safety so you can get looked at by a medic.”
“Go with him,” Gilda barked, flaring her wings. A few hunters fell in with her, surrounding the bat. “Weave and cleave.” She waited a few moments, allowing the other hunters to execute her suggestion.
Dodging the bat’s wings and claws, the hunters drove their weapons into its wing joints. Black ichor seeped out, an ugly blot against the blue sky. Positioning herself high above the thrashing beast, Gilda transitioned her daggers back into their default form. Screeching like a mighty Roc, she dove, crashing blade first into its back.
Propelled by both her keyblade’s magic and her own momentum, Gilda and her prey crashed down into what had once been a textile factory. Adrenaline dulled the impact, which saw her thrown through a rotting support beam. A plume of pure blackness inked out her world, even as the building came down around her.
Dash, of course, only saw Gilda dive into the building, and she struggled against the grip of the griffon holding and pulling her away from the combat. “Hey, wait, she’s gonna be hurt too!”
“Who, Gilda? Nah. She’ll have a few bruises at most.”
“Okay, fine, but what’s the big deal with pulling me away the second I started falling?” Dash twisted her head to look up at her ‘helper’ and gasped as she saw streaks of lightning, ice, and fire flying across the sky as the other griffons that were fighting from the cover of the guard towers combined spells with their arrows. Clouds of flying heartless were scattering or dispersing into smoke on contact.
Clicking his beak, the male lowered her to the ground. “Why were you even up there, anyway? You do know you can’t hurt heartless without a keyblade, right?” Landing next to her, he gestured with a hand. “They have a weird thing that gets all worrbly when anything else tries to hit them.”
“I’m a weathermare, and training to be a Wonderbolt. I could have done something, made some lightning. They’re using lightning!” Dash swept a wing up to point at the storm of spells and arrows that was now shredding the black flock apart. “You guys never gave me a chance.”
“Well, that lightning is special,” he countered. “Magic given by one of those keys, which means it can get rid of them.” He pointed a talon at one of the heartless as it evaporated, tracking the glowing heart that rose out of it. “See that heart? Once a weidler destroys a heartless, they release the heart. Kill ‘em without one, that heart just spawns another one later.”
“Yeah, well, uh...fine.” Dash sighed and hung her head for a moment as she realized this was one case where she couldn’t really justify more bluster. “So, hi, I’m Rainbow Dash, one of Gilda’s older friends. Who’re you?”
Smirking cockily, the young griffon ran a hand through his feathers. “I’m Gallus, one of the apprentices. Gilda’s actually my master.”
Dash thought about this for a few seconds, then shook her head. “So that’s why you were there to grab me so quickly. You were there to jump in in case she got hurt or something.”
Gallus seemed to deflate, though he didn’t lose his confidence. “Yeah well... I’m mostly support for now. I haven’t uh... been able to manifest my keyblade yet.”
“Oh, well, don’t feel bad about that. I’m sure you’ll be fine once you’re able to, uh, manifest your own. Making sure people don’t get hurt even more when they fall out of the sky is a good thing to do.”
“Yeah.” Gallus perked back up. “I guess it is.” Spreading his wings, he hovered between the ground and the hunters. “Why don’t you go check on Gilda? I gotta do my job.”
Rainbow Dash looked around and flew up a little over the height of the closest buildings so that she could get her bearings on where she was now compared to where she saw Gilda fall. With another quick glance given to the sorcerous lightshow above to make sure nothing was falling down towards her, she beat her wings quickly to carry her half a block to the north.
Gilda was busy pulling herself out of the wreckage when Dash arrived. A few of her feathers were bent or crushed, and there were a couple bleeding cuts on her talons that would need to be looked at, but she was mostly whole and hearty as she struggled to move a pile of debris off of her tail. “Ugh, stupid old building had to break and keep me out of the fight!”
“You plummeted pretty hard, G.” Flying back a few beats, she darted forward and shoved the debris off Gilda’s tail. “Does having a keyblade make you indestructible too?”
“Not completely, no, but it does tend to mean you’re used to catching your fair share of beatings one way or another.” Gilda carefully felt along the length of her tail and nodded to herself before looking at her old friend. “So why the heck are you here with that pink pain in the butt?”
Watching Gilda for a moment, Dash, flicked her hair back. “We got sent here by Twilight’s map. We’re supposed to be helping solve some kind of friendship problem.”
“A friendship problem, really?” Gilda couldn’t hold back her derisive snort. “Look up, Dash. We’re constantly fighting back flocks of heartless here. We don’t have any time for something as silly as a ‘friendship’ problem. We have REAL problems.”
“Friendship saved the world, G,” Dash countered. “Like, a lot of times. If it weren’t for my friends, you wouldn’t have days anymore.”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Gilda snapped her talons together and summoned her keyblade again. The whisk-like guard encased her talons while they wrapped around the wooden grip. She swung the weapon around a couple times and stopped it right in front of Dash’s head, the silver and gold feathers that acted as the teeth glinted in the light briefly before the shaft was rotated and the back side of the blade, half of a large wooden spoon, bopped the sky-blue pegasus with the lightest of taps. “This thing makes most problems go away. Looks like I’m stuck dealing with dweebs.”
Dash snorted, rubbing her nose. “I’m not the one with the dweeby sword-thing. That looks like you went into the kitchen and just glued a bunch of stuff together,” she shot back, trying to ignore a growing stain of jealousy.
“Yeah, well, at least I can actually hurt those darn heartless.” Gilda reared up on her hindlegs briefly, seemingly ripping her keyblade in half as it shifted and changed to match her stance before fading away in a flash of light. Gilda fell back to the ground heavily and had to pull herself back onto her feet. “Bah. I need to get home to gramps. I’m too sore to keep fighting right now.”
Moving besides Gilda, Dash braced the griffon’s side. “Just in case you need some more support,” she said, managing a smile. “Let’s get you back before Pinkie turns your house into a bakery.”
“It already is one. Wait... that pink menace is at my house?!”
Thicket was a breathtaking city, hidden deep within the vast acreage of the Everfree. It was grown out of trees akin to Fluttershy’s cottage, but on a much larger scale. Everything about the deer’s domain was interwoven into nature. Deer moved to and fro, giving the passing group its fair share of dirty looks.
More than a few times Celsetia had to gently prod Alex along when his attention was taken by the sights. Of particular interest were the deer coaxing rapidly growing trees and vines into a home.
When they reached their destination, Alex’s eyes twinkled with awe. The palace was the largest tree he had ever seen, grown into a size and shape that vaguely resembled Twilight’s castle. Multitudes of light broke through its leaves, dancing on the ground as the tree moved in the wind.
Celestia led Alex along as they walked through the castle halls, herself being led by one of the serving fauns while they had a conversation in a language he didn’t understand. Every so often she would look back to make sure he was still keeping up before continuing to walk along. Finally, they entered a cozy room with a rather simple, ancient table set in the middle of it. A single, equally-ancient-looking chair was set at one point next to a cushioned bench, and a padded section of the floor.
“Is the chair for me?” he whispered to Celestia. It was more finely crafted than any he had seen before. “I don’t wanna just assume and cause an international incident.”
“That chair was made for Lady Aqua.” Aspen responded while walking to the head of the table. “I assumed that it would be suitable for you as well, if perhaps needing a height adjustment.”
Cringing, Alex slunk into the chair. "Thank you, your majesty."
“Oh, please, let us not stand on perfect formality in this private setting, young wielder. You may simply call me ‘Aspen’ while we dine and talk. As a group of current, former, and learning keyblade users, I consider us all the same rank when a show doesn’t need to be put on.” The tall deer smiled genuinely at Alex while sitting down at the head of the relatively small table. “Besides, as I understand it, your unique situation could be used to justify calling you a princess of Equestria if one squints really hard at the laws of heredity and who your adoptive sister is.”
A princess? The idea was an alien concept. He admitted it was partially fitting, given how easily animals had started taking to him. Including the otherwise terrifying bugbear. "If it helps, I'm also a knight in the siren kingdom."
Celestia giggled softly while nudging Alex with a wing. “That’s beside the point, Alex. Just relax a little for the time being. We’re going to have a nice meal and a bit of a chat about the plans for your training under other masters of the martial arts.”
“Indeed. You made a good showing to the dogs out there, for example, and I’m sure they’re already planning on ways to try and improve your techniques.”
Relaxing a bit, Alex rubbed his neck. With all his time in Equestria, he had grown more comfortable with praise. "I'm just trying to apply game knowledge to real life. It helps that most of my free time is spent sparring."
“I would suggest speaking to your instructors about allowing you a bit more time off. It is true that attacks have become more frequent recently, but a growing child still needs time to relax and be a child.” Aspen held up a hoof quickly after saying that. “And I have been made aware of your mental situation, but you still need time to be yourself and figure out who that is now.”
"I wish they wouldn't treat me like a child," Alex lamented, chiding himself for almost putting his elbows on the table. Did that even have the same level of rudeness here? Best not to find out. "It's stifling."
Aspen nodded and looked over to Celestia for a few seconds. “They mean well, Alex, and can you truly state that there have been no times where you have been grateful for the coddling? If nothing else, you are being given a warm welcome home that would perhaps not have been so readily granted had you been found by another species. You might not have survived Griffonstone, for example.”
"I think Alex is where he needs to be." Servants began to ferry in food and drink, and Celestia partook in the offered wine. "On our original topic, Aspen, I will make this clear. I will not tolerate any callous remarks from those who train Alex."
“Instructors will do what they will do, Celestia. I will do my best to ensure that the instructor that visits Alex from us will be as kind as possible or face my wrath. What I cannot do is ensure that they will never say a single remotely hurtful thing because faults need to be pointed out.”
"I'm not talking about Alex's ego," she shot back. Her stance shifted, eyes like daggers over the rim of her cup.
“Ah, so it’s about the fact that he’s like you, then? A former stag in the body of a doe?” Aspen simply grinned for a moment. “Did you not note that one of our best trainees is a doe herself?”
Alex side eyed both sovereigns. Taking a roll from the tablet felt like taking the cheese from a mouse trap. Or was he the cheese? Dedicating himself to a bowl of soup, it became imperative to make as little noise as possible.
Sipping at her drink, Celestia eyed the swirling liquid. "They will regard Alex with the utmost respect, very much the opposite of our escort, Pinecone. Afterall, you wouldn't want to insult one who has favor with the siren queen."
“Ah, yes, Pinecone. Had I known she was on patrol duty today I would have made sure she was placed somewhere you were unlikely to approach from. She’s notorious for being about as pleasant as sitting on an old, dry, open… I honestly wonder if her parents had a bit of prescience in naming her, actually.”
"Soo... What are we having?" Alex asked, lifting the lid off one of the trays. Fish greeted his sight, though he couldn't name the kind. "My compliments to the chef." Also on the tray was a small salad with what looked like wild carrots, nuts, and various berries with a small jar of bright red dressing of some kind.
“For you, a fillet of fresh river salmon prepared with some simple, fragrant spices preferred by the previous human guest according to the palace records. Similarly the salad for you lacks any of the various grasses we tend to use as our base ingredients, using nuts and berries that have been documented as non-toxic to your kind, and the dressing is a blend of beet juice and vinegar. All perfectly healthy for a growing human. If you’re still hungry after that, I can ask the chefs to boil a couple eggs for you as well.” Aspen responded readily while looking down the table at Alex with a kind smile.
It quickly became clear that deer cooking was delicious. He'd never have the heart to admit that it rivaled Fluttershy's cooking. "Did Aqua tell you all of that?"
“Me personally, no. Of all the things I can do well, child, cooking is not one of them. The last time I tried to make a salad I almost set the kitchen on fire.”
Alex stifled a giggle. He supposed Aspen wasn't that bad of a guy. "I've never been good at cooking either. My dorm was full of tv dinners and instant ramen. Which is ironic, being a med student and all."
“Med... medical? I assume then that such food is considered unhealthy?”
"Yeah, but it's cheap. And cheap is good when you're paying your own way through college." A satisfied grin dawned on Alex's face. He'd never actually have to pay back all those loans. "I plan on trying for the medical field again."
“You won’t have to worry about a single bit for that education here. Between the generous pricing of specialized education in Equestria in general and all of the other nations wanting to curry some favor with either you or your father...I expect you’ll be showered with either gifts or competitive offers.”
'As they should. Peons should always praise their betters.'
Alex suddenly felt a finger prodding at his waist and a soft, almost dismissive-sounding sniff coming from right next to him. Turning to look had him staring directly into what looked like a floating pink ball of fluff flanked by two giant ears. “You are the young and new bearer of the ancient keyblade? There are heartless that could sit on you and kill you, kupo.”
Grabbing those ears, Alex gave a firm tug. "I didn't give you permission to touch me, rabbit." Releasing the ears, he flicked the orb. "I don't need to defend my skills to you."
“I’m not disparaging your skills, kupo. You are too young, you are too thin, your bones are underdeveloped, and your muscles have not reached their full potential.” A pair of hands came up to steady the bobbing puffball and the being backed up a couple steps before looking around the chair and offering an awkward genuflection towards Celestia. “Princess, your radiance is always a pleasure, but your blade is reckless in choosing so young a bearer.”
Celestia smiled, wrapping a wing around Alex. "I have total faith in Alex." Her eyes twinkled with recognition. "It is good to see you again, Artemis. The last time I saw you, you were just starting your apprenticeship."
“Many years have passed since then, Princess. Decades, if I am remembering correctly, kupo. I am told that my services as a forgemaster are to be needed in Equestria as your country is finally re-arming itself against the heartless and their recent resurgence.” Artemis took another step back to look Alex up and down again, allowing him to finally get a good look at the odd creature.
His own eyes widened, staring at Artemis with wonder. An Ivalice-styled moogle stood before him, tiny wings, pom pom and all. He reached out to squish its face before pulling his arm against his chest. Embarrassment was clear on his face. "It's nice to meet you, Artemis."
Artemis extended one somewhat short arm towards Alex in what was obviously a handshake invitation. “I look forward to working with your keyblade at some point and hope that we can work together in a mutually respectful way from here on out. My first duty will be to examine Princess Luna’s blade, then examine the new bearers for imperfections and flaws in their blades. We wouldn’t want them to break in the middle of an intense fight with new bearers and untested blades, kupo.”
Taking her hand, he marveled at how soft her fur was. It reminded him of a siamese. "Same here, I guess. Aubade should be fine though so no worries there."
Artemis pulled her hand back after a few seconds, and her eyes narrowed slightly before she gazed back over to Celestia. “You cast your blade adrift a millennium ago, correct? A thousand years adrift in the darkness between worlds, where anything could happen to it? It is out of respect for you that I don’t make that my top priority, for I am sure your light has done much to protect it from those that would wish to break such a tool for good. Every tool requires maintenance though, and a thousand years of neglect is a long time, kupo.”
Alex shook his head, a refusal passing his lips before he really thought about it. "I already told you, Aubade is fine. It's not going to break from a bunch of shadows." The mere idea of parting with Aubade, even for a moment, horrified him.
Artemis looked back at Alex, their expression shifting from incredulity to concern. “I can’t keep your keyblade against your will unless it is broken, and even then it would return as soon as it has accepted that it is sufficiently repaired and the magic of the blade flows once again. Moogles are also incapable of abusing the grasping loophole to obtain a keyblade. We are merchants and smiths, not warriors. Our bodies are ill-suited to the rigors of combat, kupo.”
Celestia placed a hoof on Artemis's shoulder. "We can table this discussion until you've seen to Missing Ache." Spreading her other wing, she motioned to an open chair. "Please, join us. I'm sure King Aspen would not mind another at his table."
“I’d be honored by your presence, Mastersmith…”
“Forgemaster, King Aspen.” Artemis stepped over to the chair offered by Princess Celestia and hopped up on it with ease before offering a tilt of her head towards the buck. “Forgive my interruption, but you would not wish me to call you by the incorrect title in a formal setting.”
Aspen inclined his head. "Of course not, dear Forgemaster. You will always have a place at my hearth."
“And my forge shall always be open to service a blade in need, despite my primary focus shifting to Equestria, kupo. Connections make our hearts and our world stronger after all.” Artemis responded with a smile.
‘I like her, she’s got spirit.’
Alex side-eyed Artemis. The little creature was adorable, a walking teddy bear. He just wanted to scoop her up and squeeze her. Was that the same part of him that Sonata drew out? Shaking away an image of himself be-dressed and snuggling said moogle, he tried to ignore Nightmare's cackling.
One could easily mistake day for night in the forgotten village of Hollow Shades. Abandoned many centuries ago, the decaying vale had given way to the shadows. And they took to their new home with vigor.
Trixie was not one of them, nor had she ever given thought to this place; much less coming to it. Turning her head out of the dirt, she glanced up at the creature pinning her down. She found her own terrified face staring back from its helmet.
"You're telling me I went out of my way to find you a puppet and you don't even want her?" Her kidnapper asked, gesticulating to a hanging cloak. "Are you really going to be this picky?"
A sleeve of the cloak swept out as if the arm inside were cutting through the air. “I’ve used this puppet before and found her quality lacking. Not this one specifically, of course, but one from another world. Cut her strings and cast her adrift to join our forces; I’ll not have her body holding me back.”
Summoning his keyblade downward, Vanitas sighed. "Hey, this'll hurt, but you don't want the alternative." Stabbing into her back, he yanked Trixie's heart out. It floated towards the sun, evaporating into a haze of purple.
"B-but I'm Great and Powerful..." Trixie whispered before fading out from under his boot.
"How many is that now?" Vanitas asked, spreading his arms out. "Trying for a baker's dozen? We won't get anywhere if you don't settle on someone."
“I’m not settling for a subpar egomaniac who doesn’t have enough power to do what I need my new body to do. You called her a puppet, and you were right to do so, but I’ve been there before. I refuse to be so limited ever again, tangled up in her insecurities like a spiderweb. I want a body, not just a toy.”
Hooves cut into the conversation, echoing off the collapsed walls. "Hail, seekers of Darkness." Decrepit as the village around them was the mare’s visage; framed by a witch’s cloak. Standing before Vanitas, she stamped a hoof. "A boon I bring to you." From her cloak, she tossed a scroll between them. "The moon's folly shall be your triumph."
“Vanitas, it seems we may have an ally we didn’t know of on this world. Would you kindly see what that bit of information she just gave us is?”
Unfurling the scroll, Vanitas turned to his master. "Oh, you are going to love this."
Alex tugged his gloves harder, hoping in vain to find more warmth. Night was coming faster, and with it the chill of autumn. Or did the Everfree just get colder than the rest of Equestria? With goodbyes between monarchs outlasting his patience, Alex wandered a short ways to the gardens.
Many of the flowers were browning, though a few had closed up tight. A hibernating flower was a novel idea, much like Thicket itself. His meandering stopped, having brought him to a section of wall. In the dimming light of the sun, he observed the mural covering its surface.
What colors. What shapes. They called to him, begging for his touch. He had to know more, to step into that painted world-
For a heart-stopping moment the mural shifted in front of him, becoming a very different painting of a snow-covered mountain with a rickety wooden bridge leading towards a castle in the distance. He could even see the bloated, flame-spewing hollows patrolling the ramparts with their torches raised. That was disrupted by the sensation of his coat being tugged on.
“-ex! Your teeth are chattering and you’re shaking like you just came out of an icy lake, kupo. Come back inside and warm up. We’ve been looking for you for half of an hour.”
"Huh?" Alex stepped back, rubbing at his eyes. A simple painted wall stood before him. "Y-yeah. I'll be right there." Giving it a final glance, he pulled himself away. Just a simple daydream, brought on by tiredness, he dismissed.
Deep in her prison of memory, the blue haired perversion of Alex's mother grinned. The night, much like her host, would be hers once more.
The door, if it could even be called such, to Gilda’s home swung in with a foreboding groan. At a casual glance, everything appeared as the hen had left it, perhaps with a few more cracks and bits of debris. Things, however, were never simple when it came to the pink menace.
Gilda looked back at Dash, who simply shrugged. Continuing further into the home, she paused by the kitchen door. Behind the sorry excuse for a barrier, sounds could clearly be heard. Puffing her chest up, she barreled her way in.
“Alright, Pain-In-The-Ass, what’d ya do to my kitchen!?”
“‘T’ain’t your kitchen yet!” Gruff squawked. The old griffon was leaning over the open oven door with Pinkie, closely examining a tray of baked goods.
Pinkie popped her head up, face plastered with a grin. “We’re making scones~! This is going to be the yummiest batch yet!”
Gilda fluffed her wings, taking in the mess of dishes. “You better clean all of this crap up, cuz I ain’t doin’ it.”
“Sheesh. ‘Clean this up.’ ‘Replace those ingredients.’” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “How about some gratitude for once? I’ll bet every bit I’ve got Pinkie just saved your recipe.”
“It’s my recipe!!” Gruff screeched, his back arching like a cat. “And besides, dishes are Gallus’s chore.”
Pulling Gruff towards her, Gilda flared her wings. “I’m out there clearing the skies of shadow and you’re baking? The least you could do is make me something to eat, or draw me a bath, not waste your time with the Puff Ball.”
“I don’t know,” Gallus muttered between bites of scone. “These are pretty good. Maybe you should give one a try before bitching about them.” He offered one with a grin. His grin wilted under Gilda’s glare.
“Whatever.” Pushing the older griffon away, Gilda closed her wings. “I’m going to take a bath. Gallus, if the dorks need anything, make sure they get it. Or not. I don’t care.” Flicking her tail, she slunk out of the room.
Gallus sighed and put the scone back on the tray. “Sorry about her,” he muttered sullenly. “Gilda’s not exactly the ‘open her home to strangers’ type.”
Dash sighed, snagging herself a scone. “Ah, don’t worry about it. She’s always kind’ve been a bitch. I just didn’t realize her home life was such crap.” Pausing, she smiled weakly. “No offense.”
“None taken. Griffonstone’s the pits.” Gallus chuckled before staring out towards the west. “It’s why so many of us are so eager to get out of here. I’m honestly not sure why they don’t just let the heartless raze this place to the ground and use it as an excuse to leave.”
Gruff snorted, poking sharply at Gallus’s chest. “Because of the hunt, boy! We might’ve let the kingdom go to the birds, but we’ve never forgotten the hunt!” Taking his fez off, his good eye seemed to gaze off into the distance. “It used to be more than that. We used to be warriors, our keys gleaming like the stars in the night...”
Gallus rolled his eyes and shot Rainbow an amused smirk. “Here we go. More of Grandpa Gruff’s old stories.”
“They aren’t just stories!” Gruff squawked. “It’s our culture! We used to take pride in our duties and our honor was unmatched.” His chest began to deflate, his eye downcast. “At least it was until King Grover died.”
“King Grover?” Pinkie began digging around in her saddlebags. “Dashie, isn’t that the griffon from that book Twilight gave us?” She pulled out said book and flipped through it quickly, coming to a painting of a noble-looking griffon. “He’s the one who got that idol thing.”
Gruff grabbed the book, slamming it shut. “It wasn’t no idol! It was a key! Borias’s Breath was its name. Passed from king to king, master to master. If it wasn’t for that wretched goat, it would still be in our possession.”
“A goat?”
“Yes! A huge, one eyed goat!” Gruff lifted himself up, throwing his arms out. “A massive heartless if there ever was one! King Grover gave his life fighting it, the beast taking him into the depths of the gorge.” He landed, letting his head hang. “And with it, Boreas’s Breath was lost, much like our honor.”
“That’s it!” Rainbow cried. “That must be why we’re here! To get Boreas’s Breath back! I’ll just fly down into this gorge and bring it back. Easy peasy!”
Gruff laughed, a scratchy, bark-like sound. “I’d like to see you try! That gorge is brimming with shadow. No one in their right mind would go down there!”
Gallus shifted nervously. “I don’t think that’s how they work, anyway. It’s probably long gone by now.”
Dash puffed her chest out. “Yeah well, I’m gonna be the one to find it! Come on, Pinkie, we got a keyblade to find!”
“Dashie, I really don’t think this is a good idea.” Pinkie glanced nervously from Gallus to Gruff. “If it was that easy, someone would have done it. Besides, there’s still a lot of heartless out there.”
“Will you just come on!?” Dash called, having left the room. “We got places to go!”
Gallus sighed. “I’ll go with her. If nothing else, I’ll be able to fly and get help.” He darted after Rainbow, and they soon heard the front door close.
Alex sighed in contentment, letting the warm water rain down on him. After a mild scolding about the cold, Fluttershy had sentenced him to the shower. Not that he wouldn’t have gotten one anyway. Mud sucked. Cold mud was even worse.
It amazed him how just a few weeks ago, seeing himself like this caused nothing but anxiety. Now, it was just... normal. He didn’t know if that was just him getting used to it, the shock running out or acceptance of his current form. In the end, it didn’t really seem to matter.
Wrapping a towel around himself, he stepped out into the hall. Several friendly faces greeted him, in particular a very excited stoat.
“I’ll play after I’m dressed,” he assured, gently prodding the weasel away from his towel. “And not a second before.”
Slipping into his room, Alex took a moment to make sure none of the animals followed. Animals they may be, they were very intelligent in Equestria. They didn’t need to see him getting dressed. Getting into his casual wear, he emerged and scooped up the stoat.
“Did ya miss me, Dan?” he asked, scratching his belly. He had long adapted to its little scratches and nips. Carrying the squirming stoat downstairs, he waved at the over residents. “Where is everybody? They decide to go out for a date night?”
“I don’t like it, Discord.” Alex paused halfway down the stairs, hearing Fluttershy’s voice laced with concern. “It’s all happening too fast.”
“I know, it is a lot to put on his shoulders,” came Discord’s reply. “But that key is like a beacon. I’d rather he be prepared than not.”
“I understand that, but I still worry as his mother. He’s barely had a month’s worth of training and it feels like everyone is putting the world on his shoulders. How healthy is that for him?”
“How healthy was it for you to put on that element?”
“I knew what I was agreeing to when I went into the forest that night with Twilight.” Fluttershy huffed, shaking her head. “I know he’ll need to fight. It doesn’t mean I have to like it or want him to feel like he’s the only hope for the world. There are other keyblade holders.”
Finishing his descent, Alex stepped into the living room. “I took one field trip and the helicopters came flyin’ in like it’s Nam.”
Fluttershy’s eyes widened, her wings twitching as she fought off a panic response. “Oh, Alex. I didn’t hear the water turn off. And you know I don’t understand your references.”
“Sorry.” Alex shrugged, planting a hand on Shy’s head. “I’ll be okay, Shy, I promise. I think everyone is painfully aware that I’m still a rookie.”
“Am I not allowed to worry about my son?” she countered, not moving to remove his hand. “You took what happened on Nightmare Night hard. There’s going to be more times like that. No matter how strong you are, bad things will happen.”
Pulling her into an embrace, Alex began to stroke her ears. “Ya... I know they will. But to quote a famous arachnid, ‘With great power comes great responsibility’. Having Aubade means it’s my duty to help people.”
“I know, and I’ll be there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on,” Fluttershy promised, returning the hug and adding her wings to it. “Do you need a hot meal? That mud had to be cold.”
“I won’t say no to a hot meal,” Alex admitted, his stomach growling at the promise of food. “We have any more of those tuna steaks?”
Extracting herself, Shy trotted into the kitchen. “We should. I’ll get it started right now.”
Rainbow Dash tore through the skies, putting the dilapidated city behind her. She had no idea where the gorge was, but she’d search the nearby mountains all day if it meant being away from baking and Gilda.
“It’s this way!” Gallus fell in behind her, wings straining to keep up.
“Why are you following me, Garrus?” Dash asked, glancing over her shoulder at the young griffon, though she did move to follow his directions. “Don’t you have some scones to taste test or something?”
Gallus edged in front of her, ignoring his screaming wings. “Someone has to make sure you don’t get yourself killed.”
“I don’t need a cub who’s out of breath already,” Dash countered, putting on more speed for emphasis. “And what are you gonna do anyway? You said yourself you don’t have a keyblade yet.”
“I have talons. You don’t.”
“And how effective are your talons on heartless?” Rolling her eyes, she leveled a flat look at the cub. “As everyone likes to keep telling me, only keyblades hurt those things.”
Gallus banked lower to the ground, fighting a biting remark. “Magic hurts ’em too, but keys are the only thing that makes them stay gone.”
Dash sighed, shaking her head. She should’ve known anyone under Gilda’s care would be just as stubborn as her. “Whatever, just try not to slow me down and get yourself hurt. Last thing I need is for Gilda to hate me more.”
The gorge was a great wound in the earth, festering with infection. Shadow flowed over the edges, hiding the ground itself for several feet. Gallus slowed to a hover, unwilling to let any limb pass below the black mist.
Dash stared down into the abyss, the oppressive atmosphere forcing her to pause. A veil of cold sweat formed at her brow as she inched her way to the threshold. “Okay, where did the king fall in?”
“See that boulder over by the bend?” Gallus asked, pointing a claw where he meant. “Stories say that’s the spot where the king fell.”
Dash perched herself on said boulder, wings spread wide. “This is where we’ll go in, then. Try and keep up.” Pushing the fear and doubt down, Dash leapt from the boulder and plunged into the roiling darkness.
Steeling his own nerves, Gallus dove after the mare, keeping her in his sights.
Blackness engulfed him. His senses. His mind. A suffocating blanket that threatened to blot out his existence. An ache blossomed in his chest, heralding a gasp of air. Reality reasserted itself, preventing Gallus from colliding with the ground.
Nothing Gallus knew compared to the alien surroundings he had entered. Purplish rock made up the walls and floor, coated in what Gallus would call a bluish melted web. Splotches of color dyed sections of the landscape, as if an artist flicked paint on a canvas.
Geography warped, going on farther than the eye could see. Looking up, the mouth of the gorge was farther away than it should’ve been. Normal logic would need to be tossed away in a place like this.
“Dash!” Gallus gingerly lowered himself onto an outcropping, finding the texture of material as unsettling to touch as look at it. “Can you hear me!?”
“Don’t let your feathers get ruffled!” Dash called back, her voice bouncing off the walls. “I started scouting ahead while you had your little nap!”
Bristling at the chiding, Gallus hopped down to the canyon floor. “How far is ahead!?”
“Just around the corner,” Dash said, popping her head around the rock. “Isn’t this place supposed to be infested? I haven’t seen a single inky bastard yet.”
“This place is a literal nightmare and you don’t think it’s infested?”
“Is a place looking weird enough to spook the mighty griffon warriors?” Dash asked, snickering as she continued her trek. “I was expecting a nonstop brawl, not a slightly hard hike.”
Gallus fell back to his training, eyes and ears roving the walls. Could one really see a shadow in this place? Lowering his body, he slunk forward. Excising Dash from his senses, he became a predator. His tail flicked, letting it get a feel of the air flow within the gorge. He couldn’t rely on his nose, the very earth stunk of heartless.
He paused, locking onto the bend where Dash had been a moment ago. Tensing his muscles, Gallus narrowed his focus. Pushing off,his talons primed as he soared up where a heartless clung to the rocks.
Reality warbled around the creature, which Gallus recognized as a Neo Shadow, keeping his claws from making contact. Kicking away, a quick spell afforded him the protection of Aero. The shadow leapt at Gallus, clawing at the griffon’s face. A strand of air barred its attack, slashing into its arm. The shadow allowed itself to land, sinking into the ground.
“Neo Shadows can emerge from anywhere!” Gallus barked, flaring his wings out. “Don’t stop moving!”
Flapping her wings, Dash let herself hover in the air. She put herself in the middle of the path, keeping away from the walls as best she could. Slight movement drove her towards the group, a Neo Shadow spinning over her like a buzzsaw. With a well timed barrel roll, she nimbly dodged the heartless, letting it crash down onto the ground.
“Aren’t these things supposed to be dangerous?” Dash laughed, flying over another Neo Shadow. “I had more trouble in Ghastly Gorge!”
Gallus ignored the mare, striking at one of the Neo Shadows. He was starting to see why she and his master were a volatile mix. “Hurry up and find the damn key!”
“I’ve been looking!” Dash shot back, narrowly avoiding being caught between two heartless. “Kinda hard to find something in a pitch black gorge!” Tearing her attention away from the cub, she scanned the gorge for any glint of metal. On a nearby ledge of rocks, bleached white bones were poking out. With nothing else to go on, she darted off towards the bones.
A grin wormed its way across her muzzle. There, lodged into a horn, hung Boreas’s Breath. Her eyes would’ve missed the weapon entirely, if not for the trio of white streaks sprouting from its blade. That smirk diminished, seeing just how many Neo-Shadows had begun to emerge.
“Gallus, I’m gonna distract these guys, you grab the key while they’re focused on me!” Dash tucked her wings in for a dive before the griffon could even answer.
“That’s a terrible idea!” Gallus squawked, feeling a Neo-Shadow’s claws dig into his flank. Reapplying Aero, he broke for Dash’s position.
“If you have a better one I’m all ears!” Dash snapped back, swooping down and trying to kick a Neo Shadow.
Putting his faith in the protective winds, Gallus followed that beacon of purity. That splotch became his sole focus, locking out the pain of collison and claw.
Dash’s part of the plan was going without a hitch, claws slashing at her from all sides. She bobbed and weaved to the best of her ability, but searing pain ran along her wing as claws dug into her flesh. She was forced to the ground, barely upright with furious shadows bearing down on her.
“I told you this was a stupid idea!”
Gallus interposed between Dash and her assailant, rearing up on his hind legs. A shine grew at his talons, compelling him to swing. Air became solid, cutting through the heartless. Standing over his fallen charge, Gallus bared his newly formed keyblade.
The dull part of the blade was solid blue and curved into a fishhook. The teeth of the key were serrated and alternated between blue and black. The key chain was blue as well, resembling a cross between a wave and a fishhook.
“Get Boreas,” he commanded, cutting down another heartless.
Dash closed the distance, color streaking behind her. Her plan to escalate into a rainboom came to an abrupt halt, Boreas refusing to leave its resting place. Dash kicked and bucked, bit onto the guard and jerked. Nothing dislodged the ancient blade.
A baleful glow flicked to life in the discarded skull. A sickly yellow light filled its singular eye socket. Black flesh condensed onto the bone, dragging pieces back together. A warbling cry passed its fanged jaws, the head slamming Dash into the canyon wall.
Dash groaned, her bones creaking in protest as gravity peeled her off the stone wall. “Okay, this might not have been the best idea,” she croaked.
Bleating, the heartless struggled to pull itself from its resting place. Its torso had become fused with the rock, its lower half nowhere to be seen. Dash let her eyes drift upwards, finding the key still lodged into the horn of the long dead goat. She gave her wings an experimental flap only to be rewarded with a sharp, stabbing pain. Flight was on the table but nowhere near top form.
Beating the ground, Arimaspi’s bleating took on a ringing quality. Its tones shifted and rose, twisting into ranges Dash didn’t think ponies could hear. Perception began to falter, colors and sound bleeding together in her mind.
“I think we might want to cut our losses!” Gallus shouted, barely keeping a pair of Neo Shadows at bay with his blade.
“N-not until we have that keyblade!” Dash broke for the weapon, desperately trying to decide which of the three in her vision was the real one. Her choice, the bottom, was rewarded with a rocky fist.
Backing away from the Neo Shadow horde, Gallus leaped towards Dash, yanking her onto her hooves. “Damn it, Dash, we’re in over our heads here! If you take another hit like that you’re not getting up again!”
“...Can do this...” Dash collapsed against Gallus, her senses a menagerie of misinformation. “...have to...”
Ignoring her protests, Gallus pulled the pegasus close and tried to fly up and out of the gorge. Rapidly closing in, a pair of Neo Shadows bore down on the pair. The first unfurled, a claw striking at Gallus’s face.
“Junior Speedsters are our lives.”
The heartless’ head vanished, erupting into black mist. The second released its heart a moment later.
“Gilda?” Dash questioned, unable to make her vision focus. Despite that, she tried to look where she’d heard the voice.
“Skybound soars and daring dives.”
Arrows rained from the looming abyss, heralding a barrage of lightning. Gilda emerged, barreling past them to plant her keyblade into a Neo-Shadow’s face.
“Junior Speedsters, it's our quest to someday be the very best!”
“Dashie!” Pinkie popped out from her spot on Gilda’s back. “Thank goodness you’re okay!”
Gilda hovered by Gallus, eyeing the goat. “Figures. That thing’s been poisoning the area for centuries. If we can take it down, we might actually stop all the swarms.”
“Can you cover me until I put her down?” Gallus questioned, shifting Dash in his arm. “I’ll come down on its blind spot once she’s laid out on a rock up there.”
“Get it done.”
“What should we do about this?” Pinkie asked, standing on the goat’s horn and tapping at Borias’s Breath.
Gilda screeched, knocking an incoming fist away. “Will you get away from that thing!? I can’t help you if you get your heart stolen!”
“Okie dokie! I’ll hop off and keep this safe somewhere!” Pinkie called back, plucking the keyblade out of the goat’s horn and jumping down to the ground.
Arimaspi bellowed, calling forth a tide of Neo Shadows. Lights akin to willow-o-the-wisp emanated from its eye, homing in after Pinkie.
Despite the danger, Pinkie didn’t panic. With a few well placed hops along the rocks the wisps of flames harmlessly impacted the gorge walls. “Huh, you think he’d be happy this isn’t in his noggin anymore.”
“Heartless are never happy.” Calling down more thunder, Gilda eviscerated a heartless. What was taking Gallus? Dash wasn’t that heavy... was she? A blue blur answered her unspoken question, Gallus thrusting his blade into the back of Arimaspi’s neck.
The beast went still, its eye snuffing out. The skeleton collapsed, falling to pieces before fading into a shadowy mist like any other heartless. A massive heart soared into the sky, parting the ceiling of darkness. The ground trembled and warped, the alien landscape slowly reverting to something more mundane. Gilda clapped Gallus on the shoulder. “You did good kid. You even have your keyblade. Makes a hen proud.”
“It was fly or die and like you always tell me, my body chose to fly when it came down to it,” Gallus said, making sure to show off his new keyblade with a grin on his beak. “I think it suits me.”
“That’s the point of it, genius,” Gilda shot back, ruffling the feathers atop his head. “That thing’s a reflection of your heart.” Dismissing her blade, she rolled her neck. “Get the pink one. We’ve earned a spot in the feast hall.”
“No need, I’ve got this!” Pinkie said, eyeing the gorge wall for a few moments before hopping up it like a hyperactive mountain goat. “Who knew rock farming would come in handy twice this trip?” she asked with a giggle.
Winter's chill had begun its assault on Canterlot much as it had to Ponyville. The weather teams, as Alex had been informed, gradually eased into winter. Cold winds always came before the snowfall, which had been scheduled for the end of the week.
As an olive branch to Rarity, he had agreed to wear something other than his coat. He adjusted the scarf around his neck, a slinky white number with a black pattern that resembled the keychain on his Aubade. The earmuffs were nice, puffy and plush to the touch. If it weren’t for the change in texture they’d almost blend in with his hair. The thing he bristled at the most was the fluffy coat that hung down to the top of his thighs and was styled to resemble a stoat’s black and white fur. He’d hate it all if it didn’t do a great job of keeping him warm.
The castle's training yard spread out before him, empty after the day’s drills. Standing at an impromptu forge, Artemis tossed the last log into the fire.
“We’re ready to begin, kupo.” Turning to the gathered wielders, she studied each face. “Whose blade is first?”
“I believe that it is only right that I go first,” Luna said, levitating her keyblade over to Artemis’s workbench. “It has been quite some time since Missing Ache was given attention.”
Despite her small size, Artemis lifted Missing Ache with no issue. It was turned this way and that, every inch poked and prodded. Her brow creased, fingers tracing over the base of the blade. Placing it in the kiln, she popped open a small chest. Retrieving a cross shaped ore, Artemis placed it in a smaller oven like structure.
“Let me examine another while that one is in the forge, kupo,” Artemis said, sifting through her tools. “Prince Shining Armor, might I see your key next?”
Shining Armor summoned his blade and held it out for Artemis. “Don’t know how much work she needs, she hasn’t seen combat yet.”
“I believe its name is Fenrir?” Artemis took it from his magical grasp, eyes absorbing every facet.
The keyblade bore a mix of black, silver and gold. The bladed portion was black with teeth that resembled those of a chainsaw and ended in an indent like a taser. The toe of the hilt guard was decorated with exhaust pipes, two on the inside by the blade with two smaller ones on the outer edge of the guard. Finally, the hilt guard itself was pentagonal with the bottom half of the two sides around the hilt itself, shifting to gold.
“A fine key if I’ve ever seen one.”
“Does Fenrir even need a tune up?” Shining asked, focusing on the key. “I haven’t fought anything with it yet.”
“No, but it can be improved.”
Seeing what had once just been a quick menu event became the highlight of Alex’s week. Observing the miniscule fluff ball work the forge stole his attention. None of the material Artemis produced seemed familiar, nor was the concept of improving keyblades.
Switching Fenrir with Missing Ache, Artemis held the glowing key against an anvil. Pouring the now melted ore over its blade, she brought a mallet down against it.
“The guard was weakened,” she explained, hearing a pause in Twilight’s scribbling. “Darkness exposure, it looks like.” Ignoring a cough from Luna, she continued. “It’ll absorb the fluorite, which will reinforce it.”
“Interesting, I’ve never heard of fluorite being used like that,” Twilight commented, eyes darting from the moogle to her book.
Dunking Missing Ache in a trough of water, Artemis retrieved Fenrir. Using the remaining fluorite, she hammered away until its glow had dimmed. “Your highness, you may remove Missing Ache from the water.”
Using her magic, Luna lifted her blade from the water. Holding it before her, she cleaved the air. “Fantastic work, Artemis. The balance of the blade is perfect.”
Artemis bowed, her pom pom wobbling. “I strive to give nothing less than perfection. Princess Twilight? Might I see Sign of Innocence?”
“Of course!”
Plopping down on the grass, Alex felt a growing apprehension. How many flaws could Aubade have? It was an extension of himself. Would his flaws manifest in the blade? Was he ruining it? Clenching his fists, Alex tried and failed to chase away the dark thoughts by focusing on a random cloud. When that didn’t work he tried counting blades of grass. The dull, repetitive task alleviated the worst of it, but he was keenly aware of the specter at the back of his consciousness.
“Are you alright, Alex?” Luna leaned into his view, her mane trailing behind her. “You seem upset.”
“I’m fine, Luna,” Alex dismissed, looking up from his task. “Just thinking.”
“Might I inquire as to what?” Settling down next to him, Luna gave a smile. “It might ease your heart.”
“My heart’s plenty eased, Luna,” he retorted, not meeting her gaze. “It’s just random thoughts, no biggie.”
“Of course. Are you looking forward to winter? I imagine your mother and her friends are conspiring to make your first hearth's warming season a good one.”
“Fluttershy has been trying to feel out what I want as far as presents go,” he admitted, his features falling. “She even left a sales ad and marker on the table for me to find.”
Luna placed a hoof on his shoulder. “Alex, have you been to a therapist yet? I know you’ve talked to my sister about such a thing.”
“Not yet, we agreed to wait until after the Gala since the prep for that took a while. Fluttershy and Discord are still looking for one they like for me.”
“I could recommend you to mine,” Luna offered, shifting her gaze to Artemis. “Dr. Clear Mind is a wonderful doctor.”
“Pass it along to Discord,” he said, glancing at the alicorn. “He keeps insisting we get a doctor that ‘recognizes the need for a little chaos’.” He made sure to punctuate that with finger quotes.
Artemis cast Blizzard on herself, shaking off the heat of the forge. “All that’s left is Aubade. Alex, may I see it?”
Alex froze, a knot forming in his stomach. Standing up, panic overtook him. “Aubade’s fine,” he dismissed, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about it.” Brushing off his outfit, Alex tried to walk away. “If you need me I have a class field trip to get ready for.”
“Alex, this is important.” Twilight caught his sleeve in her telekinetic grip. “You shouldn’t just toss Artemis’s help to the side like that.”
“It’ll be fine, Book Horse,” Alex assured, tugging his arm free. “I’ve gotta get going, but if I feel like Aubade needs the tune up I’ll grab Arty here.”
Luna spread a wing, cutting off Twilight’s response. “You can’t force someone to accept help, Twilight. Do have faith. Alex will come around. Just give him time.”
Sighing, Twilight could only watch as Alex scurried off.
Airships always gave Alex a sense of wonder. Soaring above the countryside, they reminded him of his younger days playing on a hand-me-down SNES. Alex took in the scenery, the town of Ponyville already passing by. He scanned the ground, seeing if he could spot anyone he knew from his eagle-eyed view.
“How did your meeting with Luna go?” Fluttershy took a spot next to him, rearing up to look over the railing. “You got on so quickly I wasn’t able to ask before.”
“It was fine. Got to meet Twilight’s brother in person and see that moogle again,” Alex quickly said, not letting his eyes meet the mare’s.
“That sounds nice.” An encouraging smile graced Fluttershy’s face. “Was there anything else that happened?”
“I got to see Artemis work on a keyblade.”
“She only worked on one? Was it yours?”
Alex turned his head, spying an eagle float lazily below. “Everyone’s got a tune up. Aubade’s fine though. Didn’t need one.”
“Shining Armor got one and you didn’t?” Fluttershy questioned, her feathers ruffling. “But he hasn’t fought any real heartless yet. How could he need a tune up before you?”
“I couldn’t tell ya. Maybe he cracked it in the shower?”
Fluttershy went to open her mouth to say something only to snap it shut. It was clear Alex didn’t want to talk about his meeting. Forcing the topic would only wind him up more. “Are you excited to see my hometown?”
Scratching her ear, he graced her with a smile. “Of course I am! You can show me where you grew up. Plus, I’ve never cloudwalked before.”
“If you want to be spoiled again, we could swing by my parents’ home if we have time,” Fluttershy offered, giggling. “I know they wouldn’t mind us coming without telling them beforehoof.”
“If I may interrupt?” Cheerilee approached, a unicorn at her side. “We’ll be reaching Cloudsdale in a few minutes and it’s time for the students to have their cloudwalking enchantments.”
“Okay, spell me up,” Alex replied, approaching the unicorn with arms stretched out at his sides.
“Stay still please.” Lighting his horn, the unicorn wrapped Alex in an orange aura. “And done! You’re good to go!”
“Thanks,” Alex answered, suppressing a shudder from the lingering tingle of magic on him. Wiggling his fingers, Alex noted he didn’t feel any different. “What exactly does walking on a cloud actually feel like?”
Fluttershy tapped a hoof to her chin, considering the question for the moment. "Imagine walking on a pillow that has springs inside."
Nodding, Alex attempted to imagine such a feeling. Nothing came to mind beyond simply walking on a trampoline. “As long as it’s not a day of feeling damp.” He shrugged, switching gears. “So there’s an entire factory for making weather?”
Fluttershy’s brief explanation filled the final minutes of their commute. Falling in with the rest of his class, Alex’s anxiety subsumed his curiosity. The dock seemed far too small, leaving him with a descent much too soon onto a sea of white. Putting a hand on Fluttershy’s withers, he forced himself to step off the ship. He bounced a bit, but settled safely atop the cloud.
“You get used to it, Alex.” Snails poked the fluffy ground. “It took me a few trips to get my cloud hooves.”
“Come here often to visit family?” Alex questioned, thankful to have Snails take his mind off the idea of falling through clouds.
Snails nodded slowly. “My dad’s parents live here. I was gonna stop by after school.”
“We were thinking of doing the same with Fluttershy’s parents,” Alex shared, smiling at his friend. “Great minds think alike, eh?”
Snips bumped Snails’ shoulder, grinning. “Snails’s grandma makes the best salads! She even has a secret recipe!”
“It’s all in the dressing and her garden fresh ingredients,” Snails said, a bashful smile on his muzzle. “She even makes her own cheese.”
“Alright students!” Cheerilee strode to the front of the group, standing with Fluttershy and a few other adults. “I know everyone is excited to see Cloudsdale but please stay with your chaperones. For those of you with family in the city, if the proper arrangements have been made, you’ll be picked up after our tour of the weather factory.”
The students gave a cheerful affirmation before falling into line in the groups they were assigned to. Fluttershy’s group consisted of Alex, Snails, Snips, Rumble and Twist. Alex hadn’t spent much time with the last two, but Twist seemed nice enough.
Using a wing, Fluttershy held up a piece of paper to read. “Okay everypony, our schedule has us start in hail production followed by rainbow mixing.”
“How do you mix rainbows? Do you melt Skittles together?” Alex joked, trying not to think about the oddness of his steps.
“No, they just wait for Rainbow Dash to go to the bathroom,” Rumble chimed in, snickering at his own joke. His laugh died at Fluttershy’s gaze. “S-sorry, dumb joke,” he sputtered out, his ears sticking close to his head.
“Rainbowth are made by mixing theveral kindth of juiceth together,” Twist elaborated. “Ith kinda like making sweeth. They even uthe tiny bith of rainbow to flavor treath.”
“But be careful, they’re spicy,” Fluttershy offered, glad to change the subject. “Pinkie Pie found out from experience.”
That wasn’t what Alex had expected. It was good to know that Equestria could still surprise him. The idea of actual rainbows being spicy amused him though, if he ever did make it back to Earth that’d be something to tell the people behind Skittles.
Cloudsdale soon revealed itself as a surreal mix of cloud and marble. No visible foundation aside from clouds bore the city's many stone pillars, each as white as the ‘ground’. The entire thing was mobile, having been brought close to Ponyville to start winter production. Peering over the edge, Alex noted several streams of rainbow runoff.
“Do you ponies make anything but spectacles for your cities?” Alex questioned, not really expecting an answer. “Capitals built into mountains and floating cities that you move around. What’s next, a lost underwater city?”
“I don’t know about any of that.” Fluttershy braced a wing across his back. “But Cloudsdale is very old. It’s one of Equestria’s original cities.”
“Does feel like it’s been around for a while.” Alex could only be reminded of the time he went on a class trip to Philadelphia to see the Liberty Bell and the old Congressional Meeting Hall. It was like a time capsule that people could walk around in.
Fluttershy kept her wing on his back, steering him along the fluffy streets. Her sudden protectiveness became clear as the class came to the start of a long bridge. Arching over open space, and lacking rails, it served as the gateway to their destination.
"Does no one ever break a wing?" Alex commented, eyeing the pathway with a frown. "That's a fall risk for sure."
The weather factory looked nothing like what he expected. Rather than being bleak looking it matched the ornate greco architecture of the city. A rainbow from another part of the city streaked onto the facility and ended in two waterfalls. At the top of the facility was a dome with clouds puffing out on occasion.
The chaperones, which Alex realized were all pegasi, walked across the bridge at the outer lanes, keeping the students in the center.
"Was it your idea for all the chaperones to be pegasi?" Alex asked, turning to Fluttershy. "Can't imagine Cheerliee knew about this."
“Of course she did. I know she’s done field trips to Cloudsdale before.” Fluttershy retracted her wing upon their return to more open space. “You might see your grandfather on shift today but try not to distract him. Weather work needs a lot of focus.”
"Seeing his grandson is a distraction by itself," Alex countered with a grin. "Did you see how eager he was to spoil me?"
Cheerilee gathered the groups at the factory's front door. A few ground rules were set, nothing out of the ordinary from Alex’s experience. “And with that, enjoy your visit everypony!” Cheerilee ushered her own group inside, leaving the chaperones to their duties.
Fluttershy held up a wing and motioned for her group to gather up around her. Once the foals and Alex had settled, she led them to where a sign indicated hail production was done.
Large chunks of ice hung from the ceiling, swarmed by pegasi. The majority chiseled sections of ice away, tumbling down onto conveyor belts. More pegasi broke those sections into even smaller shards, separating out the tiniest.
"Hello class!" A chipper voice called out. From a catwalk, a sky blue pegasus mare swooped down to hover in front of them. Bits of curly white mane hung out of her hard hat. "Welcome to hail production! Be mindful of the yellow and black tape, anything beyond that is a hard hat zone. Does anypony have any questions before I explain what we do here?”
“Why would ponies make hail?” Alex asked, watching the process for a few seconds longer. “Just seems weird to create something that’s an inconvenience.”
“An excellent question!” the pony said, pointing a hoof at Alex. “Hail does seem inconvenient and can really hurt if you’re not careful on those scheduled days. So why do we make it? The answer is that much like there are plants that rely on controlled burns or Celestia forbid, a wildfire to properly germinate, hail interacts with a lot of medicinal herbs as part of their life cycle. Does anypony here have mana buildup issues?”
Snips shuffled, slowly raising a hoof. “I do.”
“Then you can thank hail for the moonleaf that goes in your medicine,” the pegasus commented, proudly puffing up her chest. “Just a helpful lesson from us hail workers, foals; everything has a use, even things you don’t expect in ways you don’t see coming.”
Alex’s eyes drifted upward, scanning the upper work stations. He thought he had seen a swath of rainbow. A gentle nudge from Snails got his feet moving, following their brief guide through the hail department.
“And this is the snowflake carving room!”
Their guide led the group into what Alex thought was a cold room. Unicorns and pegasi sat in rows of tables, flickering magic lights above them. The pegasi bore sharp metal tips on their wings, chipping at small bits of ice.
“Each pegasus adds their own flare to each snowflake. We’ve asked across Equestria, and not a single duplicate has been found.”
Now that was something, Alex thought. Such a job must be a pain on the eyes, however. Keeping a respectful distance, he watched the nearest pegasi closely. He noticed a few of them were wearing an eye lens like one might find at a jeweler’s, using it to apply fine detail work.
Noticing Snails besides him, Alex spoke. “Where I’m from, snowflakes form naturally.”
“That’s weird,” Snails said, tilting his head. “Does that mean all your snowflakes look the same if nopony’s making them?”
“Nope! Nature makes every snowflake different. Though, humans have managed to make identical snowflakes in laboratories.”
Glancing over at the hard working ponies, Snails leaned towards Alex and whispered, “Best not to say that too loud. I think it’d hurt their feelings to hear that nature can do their job for them.”
“Yeah, my sister said something similar.” His face shifted, slightly downcast. Turning back to the group, Alex sighed. “I’m becoming naturalized, Snails.”
“Naturalized how?” he questioned, frowning. “And why are you saying it like it's bad?”
Alex mulled over his response. It took him a minute to respond. “It’s not bad... it’s just... living here isn’t strange to me anymore.”
“That’s good, right? Why do you look so sad when you say it?” Snails’s face scrunched up, struggling to wrap his head around what his friend was saying.
“Because it means I’m that much further away from where I come from.” And who he used to be. Snails didn’t need to know that part. Patting his friend’s head, Alex coaxed a smile to his face. “But don’t worry about that.”
Snails nodded, pacified for the moment. “Okay, but you can talk to me if anything’s bothering you.” A weak grin spread on his muzzle and a light blush peppered his cheeks. “Or maybe your mom, she’s better at stuff like that.”
“Yeah, but that’d just make her worry,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m... going to start seeing someone about that stuff.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” Snails agreed, beaming up at him. “Nothing wrong with that.”
Snips saddled up on Alex’s other side, gently thumping him on the leg. “What are you guys talking about?”
“Alex was just talking about how snow worked on his old world.” Snails gave Alex a quick wink.
Smiling back at him, Alex felt some of his tension bleed out. Immersing himself into friendly banter, he managed to get his mind back onto the field trip.
The guide went on to explain the various techniques that went into the design process of the flakes. And of course, no discussion of the stuff could be complete without the inclusion of a yellow snow joke.
A wing prodded Alex’s back, bringing his attention to Fluttershy. “We’ll be heading into the cloud section. That’s where your grandfather works.”
“Can we wave at him if we see him, or would that be too distracting for him?” Despite his prior worries, he was genuinely excited to see his adopted grandfather at work. The mustachioed pegasus had been so warm it was hard not to feel that way.
“Of course.” Fluttershy nudged him forward, giggling. “Just make sure it's just a wave.”
Nodding, he continued following the group through the archway that led into the cloud section. For a split second, he could’ve sworn he saw a pony shaped shadow dart along the ceiling.
The air carried an electrical charge, enough to make Alex’s hair stand on end just by walking. An open room stretched out before them, filled with rumbling machines and whistling pistons. It reminded him of a cartoon, something from an old Looney Tunes short.
Several pegasi stood at an assembly line, working their hooves on raw cloud material for a moment before it moved down the line for the next pony to do their part. Pistons hammered the material into the familiar fluffy shape, depositing them into awaiting carts. Once the carts were moved, ponies with clipboards sifted through the carts, either leaving them be or discarding them while making notes in their boards.
“And as you can see, this is the main cloud production room,” their guide said, sweeping an arm in front of her. “Here we create the majority of the clouds you see. Of course, your local weather team also makes them as needed.”
Pointing to a fluffy white cloud, she continued. “The inspection is to make sure the charge rate is just so. For your standard drifting clouds we need to make sure they won’t cause an unprompted storm and disrupt deliveries groundside.”
“Do clouds carry a natural charge?” Alex asked, raising a hand.
“Good question,” the guide said, pointing a hoof at Alex. “Yes, there is a natural charge and pegasi manipulate that to adjust the shape and type of cloud.” She demonstrated by giving an unattended cloud a buck.
White shifted to black, the deep rumble of a storm coming from within. The smell of ozone filled the room as the cloud rumbled with the promise of discharge.
“As you can see, pegasus magic agitates a given cloud's inherent energy.” Giving it a gentle push, she motioned them to follow.
“You know, it was always considered a pipe dream to control the weather, back on Earth at least,” Alex commented to Fluttershy. “Or a conspiracy theory.”
“I’m not a big fan of conspiracy theories,” Fluttershy answered, her wings twitching. “Not after Zephyr went on a two hour tirade about how Commander Hurricane’s charge was an inside job.”
“...He didn’t strike me as the type.”
“It was a phase. A very short, irritating phase,” Fluttershy grumbled, hiding her face behind her bangs. Joy replaced frustration, punctuated by a pointed wing. “Oh! There’s your grandfather. Up on the catwalk.”
Glancing up, Alex found the green pegasus in question fluffing up clouds and putting on finishing touches on them. Grinning, he waved at his adopted grandfather. Cirrostratus waved a wing, giving a slight show of finishing his current cloud.
“Seems like Grandpa is proud of his work here,” Alex commented, nodding at the stallion.
“He keeps a bit of cloud from every year he’s worked here.”
“He must have a lot of clouds by now.”
Giggling, Fluttershy nodded at that statement. “Oh, he had to have new shelves installed a couple times while I was growing up.”
A soft vibration passed through the floor, escalating into a frantic tremor. Clouds spilled out from the door, expanding in like a growing organism. Lightning crackled from machine to machine, sending each into a frenzy.
Falling into their emergency training, the weather factory met the emerging disaster at the gate. Half the assembled team went to do the emergency shutdown procedures on the failing machines, the other herding terrified foals to the back exit.
Cheerilee joined in corralling the tour group, offering assurances to the near panicked foals. “It’ll be alright, everypony! Just follow the weather ponies!”
Frightened murmurs went along the tour group, but they managed to keep an orderly line as they were led away from the growing mass of clouds. The mass swelled, the catwalk groaning loudly from the strain. With a loud crack, the supports of the walkway gave way and made the metal go into freefall. When it slammed into the floor, parts of the cloud floor were punched out, with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon screaming as the solid surface was replaced with open air.
Breaking from the group, Alex dove into the opening. His arms wrapped around the flailing fillies, joining them in an open plummet. Dread filled his gullet, watching Cloudsdale grow further and further away. His mind ground to a halt, locked in a logic chain of just how broken they’d be when they hit the ground.
There had to be a spell. Aero? Gravity? Maybe he could lock them all in stasis with Stop until someone could get them. No. He couldn’t cast, not without releasing one of his rescuees. Come on, he chided himself. Do something!
The rush of wind abated, their momentum throttling back. Alex blinked, listening to Silver and Diamond screaming. “We stopped falling,” he said dumbly.
Diamond and Silver could only hold onto him, silent sobs wracking them as they tried to process what had just happened to them.
No, they hadn’t stopped Alex realized. Cloudsdale was still shrinking, merely having slowed its process. Daring to look down, he could see the ground slowly come into more detail. Checking his body over, he noted the distinct lack of a unicorn’s glow.
“Wait... am I gliding?”
"I don't care what you're doing, just don't drop me!" Diamond cried, finding her voice as she clung to Alex tighter.
Relying on the adrenaline still in his system, Alex dared to roll. Keeping his arms around the fillies, his eyes met the sight of the ground. As dangerous as it was, he needed to push the limits of this new ability. Spotting a clearing beneath them, he willed himself towards it, shifting his body.
Slower than he would've liked, his body complied with his will. Clenching his jaw, he kept an eye to the ground in preparation for a bumpy landing.
“Best not die, girl. Finding hosts is far too much of a hassle to do again.”
Ignoring Nightmare, Alex narrowed his focus. With the ground in reach, he tucked into a roll, shielding the fillies as much as he could. Taking the brunt of the impact, Alex came to a stop when his head collided with a rock.
Letting himself slump down, a dull throb formed in Alex's head as his adrenaline waned. “You guys okay?” he asked, feeling the sting of blood enter one of his eyes.
“Y-yeah.” Diamond nodded weakly, gingerly stepping off him. She stumbled, regaining herself a few steps away from him.
Rolling off Alex, Silver Spoon wretched before standing. “Uh-huh, I'm okay,” she croaked.
“Good.” Alex touched his head, feeling a liquid seep into his glove. “Okay... you got this.” Calling upon his magic, the soothing wave of Cure passed over him. The simple spell proved far more taxing than usual, a blanket of exhaustion laying on him.
"Let's hole up here while we wait for the group to come get us," he offered, turning his head to face the pair. “I need a breather.”
"Not like we can get back to Cloudsdale on our own anyway," Diamond agreed without a hint of snark. Her eyes lingered on his face, her own downturning. “Are you doing okay?”
Alex waved her off, wiping away some of the blood. "I'm all good. A little tired, but this head wound shouldn't even need stitches."
Diamond nodded slowly, sitting down beside him. “That’s good...” Falling silent, her ears splayed backwards. “...Thanks for saving us.”
"What was I supposed to do, let you go splat?" Alex countered, chuckling. "I don’t think Screwball would’ve forgiven me.”
“Can’t you rub it in our faces just a little?” Diamond whined, poking him in the side. Her eyebrow cocked, eyes narrowing. “What does your weirdo sister have to do with this?”
Alex sucked air through his teeth. That was a slip he didn’t need right now. It was out of the bag now, he might as well dig deeper. “Would you believe that you're related to Discord?”
“Considering the lack of random body parts, yes,” Diamond deadpanned.
“Screwball is your grandmother... not sure how many greats though.” Seizing the moment, he scratched one of her ears.
Diamond pulled away from the action, swiveling her ears back.. “Hold on, my grandma is Discord and Princess Celestia’s daughter?”
“Yup.” Pulling her into a hug, he made a point to grin wide. “Which means, you're my niece.”
“And that I’m royalty,” Diamond added, letting herself be hugged. “I knew I wore a tiara for a reason.” A sound akin to a dying turkey emitted from her throat, hooves desperately searching the space above her head. “I-It’s gone!”
“It must’ve fallen during the accident,” Silver offered, looking around the field. “Since Cloudsdale was over Ponyville, it might be in town somewhere.”
Alex kept his grip, letting a stern edge creep into his voice. “We can’t go looking now. Just relax and sit down.”
“I know but…” Diamond paused sighing. “It’s not just expensive jewelry, I got my cutie mark because of it.”
“We’ll find it, don’t worry.” Alex held her close, resting his chin on her head. “Promise.”
“Thank you,” the pink filly replied, settling into the embrace.
The rescue crew found the trio settled in around a small campfire. Ponyville’s sudden winter made its presence known, covering the forest in snow. Alex endured a field exam, assuring the doctor that the blood didn’t indicate injury. It took some effort, but he was finally able to pry the persistent pony off him. Fluttershy was a different story. She clung to him the instant the doctor stepped back.
“I was terrified when you fell. I-I thought...” her words devolved into sobs, her muzzle nuzzling into his neck.
“Sorry for making you worry,” Alex offered, stroking her mane gently. “I just sorta moved on instinct. And hey. I uh. Flew. Kinda.”
This caused her to pull away from his neck to meet his eyes and search for any signs of a joke. “You flew? Did you grow wings?”
Alex smushed her face, wiping her tears away. “It was more of a glide. No wings involved.”
“Then why didn’t you say that?” she retorted, giving him a flat look. “I swear you’re picking up on Discord’s habit of phrasing things to make me ask silly questions.”
“No, I think he’s picked up your magic, dear.”
A chill wafted over Alex, heralding the cold touch of metal. He made a sound akin to a bark, pulling his shirt back down. “Seriously!?”
Discord tsked, stethoscope held between his talons. “Oh come now. It’s not that cold, my boy.” Removing his surgical mask, Discord studied a clipboard. “Mmmhmm. Clear case of pegasus magic.”
Fluttershy composed herself enough to thwack Discord on the leg with a wing. “Discord! You know better than to do that!” Fighting to keep her wings under control, her voice remained firm. “You told me you handled Alex’s magic problem.”
“I most certainly did, Flutters.” Scooping her up, he flipped through his papers. “But I didn’t account for the passive magic of ponies seeping in. He’s spent so much time with you, he’s naturally adapted a form of pegasus magic.”
“Do you think the same thing will happen with other kinds of ponies?” Alex questioned, looking down at himself. “I spend a lot of time with unicorns and earth ponies too after all.”
Discord tapped his chin, rubbing a blushing Shy’s belly. “Perhaps but you don’t live with them. The effects wouldn’t be as pronounced.”
“What about you?” Alex questioned, picking up the implications. “I live with you, and you have magic.” He squirmed, finding himself cradled in Discord’s arm.
“Nonsense my dear boy. I fixed that problem when we adjusted your magic intake.” Discord coiled himself around the pair, nuzzling both of them. “You won’t be polymorphing anyone with sneezes.”
Alex smirked, leaning back against Discord’s fur. “Oh, I get it. You only want to pass on chaos magic to your bio kids. Nothing for the step-kid except chores.”
“Perish the thought. You wouldn’t want it.” Discord set them down. His head turned, akin to an owl, facing backwards. “Yes, pink filly? Can I help you?”
“Um, Alex kinda told me that your daughter was my grandmother,” Diamond said, kicking at a rock with a hoof. “So wouldn’t that make you my grandfather?”
Discord’s second face looked down at Alex before the first one spoke. “No my dear, that makes me your grandmother of about...twenty five greats. Celestia is your grandfather.”
Diamond blinked, a far off look on her face. Shaking her head, she found her voice. “Either way, that makes us family.”
Twisting his body right-way around, Discord pinched her cheeks. “Yes it does, Cubic Zirconia Headwear. Thankfully, you didn’t turn out very chaotic.”
“My name’s Diamond Tiara,” the filly huffed, trying and failing to escape the assault on her cheeks. “And if it’s chaos you’re looking for, that’d be the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”
Discord relented, instead peeking at her through a magnifying glass. “Oh, I know, my dear. Thankfully, I’m not related to them.” Tossing the glass away, he pressed his face against hers. “It seems you're lacking your trademark.”
Letting a hoof rest against the top of her head, Diamond nodded. “Yeah, it slipped off during the fall. Alex was going to help me look for it.”
Gathering up the startled youngsters, including a very confused Silver Spoon, Discord herded them along the path. “Come now, children. You too, Metallic Spork. Youngsters shouldn’t witness murder.”
“Why would we be witnessing murder?” Silver questioned, paling.
“Well, you see, Shy can be very intense when it involves something she cares about. She’s going to be very upset when she finds out a certain rainbow flavored friend of hers almost made her son go splat.”
“Wait, Dash did what?” Alex said, trying to wriggle out of Discord’s grasp. “There’s no way I’m not having a talk with her.”
Discord merely turned Alex forward. “Your mother’s going to handle it, Alex. Besides, we have a tiara to find and you’ve a promise to keep.”
The late afternoon sun hung low in the sky as I flopped onto my back in a sweaty mess. Despite all appearances, Vash was a taskmaster of a trainer. He'd insisted I wear weights all over my body and sent me through an obstacle course like I was a guard cadet. After that, he started flinging dodgeballs at me from a series of catapults. Thanks to the weights, far more hit me than I was able to avoid.
Kneeling down beside me, Vash offered me a canteen. I grabbed it and had barely gotten the cap off before I started greedily gulping down the lifesaving water. "I think that's enough for today, Sunset," he said, standing back up. "You can take off the weights now."
Nodding, I lit up my horn and unfastened the weights while I drained the canteen. "Ow, my everything."
"Yeah, you did take a walloping out there," he noted with a little chuckle. "Still, I'm impressed you dodged any after that obstacle course."
I shot up, glaring at the man. "Wait, you did that exercise expecting me to fail?!"
Vash nodded, a serious expression on his face. "Consider it a lesson. If you're serious about learning how to fight with a gun, then you're gonna need to learn how to dodge things way more deadly than dodgeballs. And way quicker."
I shuddered at the implications, replacing the balls with a hail of bullets. "Fine, point made."
Giving me a thumbs up, the grim expression disappeared off Vash's face and was replaced by a goofy grin. "Good! Would hate to see you quit after one lesson. Now, do you need help getting up?"
I wanted to protest, but trying to move my legs revealed they were threatening to go to jelly on me. "Um, do you mind if I lean on you?" I asked with a sheepish grin.
Kneeling down, he supported my weight and hauled me up carefully. "Which do you want more right now: food or a shower?"
Grimacing, I took a cautious sniff. "Shower. Lead me to my room, I'll be able to take things from there."
"You got it, Sunny." Humming to himself, he led me through the halls at a comfortable pace.
After a couple minutes in silence, I couldn't resist asking, "Vash, how did you get to Equestria? I've never heard of anything like you before."
Snorting, he looked down at me with an amused smirk. "Yeah, I've been told I'm pretty unique. But you're right, there's nothing else like me because I'm from another world."
I gaped at how casually he had mentioned other worlds. "Another world? Then how did you get here?"
"I got pulled here thanks to some... being pretending to be a merchant. I've met others with similar stories. We're Displaced, each finding ourselves in a different Equestria."
My mind was reeling, almost waiting for him to tell me he was joking. When no laughter came I asked, "If they're in other worlds, how have you met them?"
Reaching into his coat, Vash pulled out an odd trinket. "With one of these. We're able to send out tokens that let us summon each other. Sounds crazy, I know."
My eyes locked onto the token, my mind racing. My curiosity was piqued and the idea of peering into other worlds wouldn't leave my thoughts.
We eventually made it back to my room and I thanked Vash for his help. Giving him a hug, I slipped into my room. Once the door was closed behind me, I opened my hand to reveal one of the trinkets I "borrowed" from his pocket. It was a seashell of some kind, most likely from a mollusk given its long and narrow shape with a peach-like dual coloration.
"Is this thing really a token?" I muttered, carefully tapping the shell with a pinkie. I put a hand to my head, a message starting to relay in my thoughts. “Okay, guess that clears things up.” Lighting up my horn, I tried to examine the token for any traces of magic. Frowning, my scan found nothing. Whatever made the token tick, it wasn’t magic. At least not any I could detect. “Maybe seeing it in action will help me?” Wracking my brain, I opted for a direct approach. “Displaced, I wish to summon you,” I said, holding the shell out in front of me.
A shine built up over the shell, burning like a miniature sun. The light flitted through the air like a sprite, dazzling me. I winced, bracing my eyes against the light show and dropped the shell on reflex. Tumbling towards the ground, the sphere expanded.
“-arting to annoy me, Artemis.” A figure stepped into the room, a silhouette against the light.
“Maintaining your keyblade is a primary concern of mine, as is looking for upgrade materials, kupo. Maybe if you let me examine it more often, I wouldn’t need to nag you.” A smaller figure followed alongside the first speaker, though the height difference was hidden at first by their huge ears making them seem almost a foot taller than they were. “Aubade hasn’t been maintained in a thousand years!”
“Holy crap it actually worked,” I muttered, lowering my arm as the light died down. Without the weird sphere, I was able to get a good look at the figures. One was a mostly-furless biped like Vash, though it was clear they were much younger. I mean, they were barely taller than me. They looked like a slim girl in a t-shirt and jeans. Of course, that was assuming boobs and hips were secondary sex characteristics among their kind too. The other looked like an overgrown rabbit on two legs, wearing simple linen clothes and a padded leather apron. “Uh, hello there,” I greeted, deciding to interrupt their discussion.
The girl opened her mouth to respond, closing it when she saw me. “Huh. So that’s what you look like as a pony.”
“Wait, you’ve met me before?” I questioned, tilting my head. “Or, a me? Ugh, other worlds are already confusing.”
“You should try talking about time travel with Alex’s father sometime. I woke up with a hangover without drinking anything, kupo.” The smaller, rabbit-looking being stepped forward and nodded their head, causing a pink puff of fur on an almost-invisible antennae to bob slightly. “You are Sunset Shimmer, once a student under Princess Celestia. I am Artemis, and it is a pleasure to meet a version of one such as you.”
“I’m still Celestia’s student,” I corrected, looking down at the creature. “Also, can I pet you?”
Snickering, the girl held her hand out. “I’m Alexander Lionheart, nice to meet you.”
I shook the offered hand, forcing myself to look away from the little fuzzball. “Nice to meet you too. I’d give my name, but you guys already had it.”
Artemis’ face scrunched up a bit, as if they had just bitten into a lemon before they offered their own hand to shake. “Time differences make fools of the best of us, kupo. Our Sunset is...nevermind. Keep your hands above the shoulders if you must pet me.”
“Deal,” I said, putting one hand on their head and shaking Artemis’s hand with the other. “I wanted to pat between these fuzzy ears. You’re like a living plushy.”
“Arty here is a moogle.” Alex gave the creature’s antenna a slight bop. “Buncha little tinkerers.”
Artemis stiffened briefly at the bop, quickly reaching up and steadying the fuzzy ball on top. “One of these days you’re going to hit that too hard, and do more than just make me shiver.”
Putting her hands up, Alex nodded. “Okay, okay. I’ll leave your buoy alone.” Turning back to Sunset, she asked. “So... what did you call me for? You uh, need help with something?”
“Oh, I was just trying to learn more about Displaced. Mr. Vash just got done explaining the concept to me when I borrowed your token off him,” I explained, rubbing the back of my head. “I thought seeing it in action would help me understand the mechanics.”
Alex regarded me for a moment before giving a shrug. “I’m fine with that. A few hours in spring or summer isn’t too bad. It is either of those, right?”
“Spring, if it was summer then Cadance would’ve been here all day. How about I wash up real quick and then I show you two around. I just got done with a workout.”
“Sure, sure. Promise we won’t go snooping.” Alex gave a thumbs up. Sitting on my bed, she smiled. “I’m kidding. Go take your shower, then you can introduce me to this ‘Vash.’”
I left them in my little suite as I went for my shower. I opted to keep the basic purple walls and red carpeting. I wasn’t worried about snooping even if I thought she would. The only real thing of note in the room was a bookshelf, an end table with a reading lamp and a chair next to it. There was also a dresser with a mirror and the clothes within the dresser. The only real personal effects besides clothes and some accessories I had were the books I’d had before coming to live at the castle. To anyone else, those would just look like old junk.
Once I was dried off, I poked my head out into the room. “Hey Alex, mind passing me some clothes? I forgot to bring a change in here with me.”
“Uh... sure?” Her voice sounded unsure, almost hesitant. What I thought would take a few seconds took at least a minute as Alex gingerly retrieved some fresh clothes. “Uh... here...” she said, avoiding my gaze.
“Thanks,” I said, going back into the bathroom to change. With a quick use of magic to dry my mane and fur, I stepped back into the bedroom in under a minute. “You okay? I didn’t make you uncomfortable or anything did I?”
“No it’s... just me being weird.” Alex smiled weakly. “I do it a lot.”
I shrugged, and motioned for her to follow me. “Nobody’s normal. Not really. So don’t worry about stuff like that.” Opening the door, I led her out into the castle halls.
“Hmmm, it seems Alex isn’t the only one neglecting some basic care and maintenance of their tools,” Artemis commented while following along. Their hands glowed blue while carefully turning pages in a familiar, tattered old book.
Frowning, I snatched up the book in my magic and held it close to my chest. “And here I thought you weren’t going to snoop,” I said, making sure nothing had gotten ripped. To my surprise, some of the pages looked cleaner, and the biggest tears were slightly smaller than they had been.
“I was in the middle of fixing that for you, but if you don’t want it to be mended I can’t force the issue, kupo.” Artemis simply crossed their arms while hanging behind a little more and looking around.
“I appreciate the offer, but it’s better to keep it as is,” I said, examining the old pages. “But I like it this way. Reminds me of how far I’ve come.”
Artemis simply shrugged in response. “As far as reasons to not fix something go... I’ve heard worse.”
“We all have our quirks,” Alex added, glancing around the hall. “Looks about the same as the castle back home.”
“Why fix what isn’t broken, I guess,” I said, chuckling.
“Because sometimes you can’t fix it after it breaks, kupo,” Artemis responded quietly.
After a few minutes, we came to the dining hall. Mom and Vash were already at the table, though neither had started eating yet. The same couldn’t be said for Toya, who was basically drinking soup straight from the bowl. Cadance was beside him, giving him a slightly disapproving look as she tucked into a salad.
“Hi everyone,” I greeted, taking my normal seat. “Hope you don’t mind but I brought some guests.”
Alex and Artemis stood at the doorway, Alex bearing an awkward expression. “Uh... Hi. I’m Alexander and this is Artemis. Nice to meet you all. I hope...”
Vash got up from his seat, a wide grin on his face. “Always happy to have guests.” Putting a hand to his chin, he examined Alex for a moment. “Wait, don’t tell me, Kingdom Hearts,” he guessed.
“Yes. I hit things with a keysword,” Alex confirmed, staring up at him. “How’s life with the voice of a power ranger? Can you gimme the frog line?”
Chuckling, Vash put on a pout, looking down at his chest before meeting Alex’s eyeline again. “I’m a frog,” he said, dejection filling his voice.
Devolving into a giggle fit, Alex extended her hand. “Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.”
Giving it a friendly shake, Vash returned to his seat. “As if I was going to turn down a chance to recreate that moment. I’m Vash by the way. Vash the Stampede.”
“Take a seat dear,” the princess said, waving to one of the empty seats. “There’s plenty for you and your companion.”
Alex nodded at Artemis, taking a seat next to Cadance. Her expression soured for a brief moment. The smile came back a moment later, like it never happened. “What are we having? I’m not too good with hay.”
“Neither are we,” Toya said, putting down his bowl and indicating himself and Vash. “That’s why the soup is a basic vegetable and we’ve got tuna steaks here.”
Artemis climbed up into a chair as well and looked over the selection of food before taking a piece of bread and half-filling a bowl of soup. “I’m not very hungry, but I will not insult your offer of hospitality, kupo.”
"What a polite being you are," Mom complimented, giving the moogle a warm smile. "And Alexander, if nothing is to your taste, we can always put in a request to the chef."
“Oh no, this is fine,” Alex assured, getting herself some soup and tuna. “This isn't a lot different than what we eat at home.”
“My kind are crafters, servants. Little comes from being rude other than making powerful beings angry.” Artemis simply looked around before dipping a piece of bread into their soup and allowing it to soak. “Alex is an exception. Only fools refuse to maintain their tools, kupo.”
Toya snickered, glancing at Alex. "I take it Arty is your Keyblade Maintainer?"
“They’re an annoying fuzzball,” Alex answered, pointedly ignoring Artemis.
“Aubade has not been given a proper examination, nevermind maintenance, in over a thousand years. I suspect the only reason it hasn’t shattered in Alex’s hands is due to sheer dumb luck... and the fact that it is almost impossible to actually break a keyblade. Almost.” Artemis looked pointedly at the adults in the room for a few seconds before shrugging. “But maybe I’m just a silly mog that worries too much.”
A lightbulb seemed to go off above Toya's head and a grin wormed its way onto his face. "Hey Lexi, how does proving that your keyblade is fine as it is sound to you?"
Vash sighed, pinching his brow as if he knew what his son was thinking but ultimately said nothing.
Alex poked at her tuna, mulling it over. “I sorta do that everyday, but sure. Why not? Training’s been going slow anyway due to the weather.”
“Excellent,” Toya said, dipping a piece of bread in a fresh bowl of soup. “Then for this sparring match the condition is simple: whoever totally disarms the other first wins. If I win, then you listen to Arty and let them look at Aubade, and if you win then they have to drop the maintenance talk for a while.”
Giggling to herself, Alex nodded. “I can agree to all that. And uh, just call me Alex, please.”
“Aww, I thought Lexi was a good fit for you,” Toya said, pouting. “But, I’ve never been one for making folks uncomfortable, so Alex it is.” The pout didn’t last long, perking up as his next thought crossed his mind. “Did you want to spar before or after dessert?”
“Before.” Alex stood up, stretching her limbs out. “Fighting while too full isn’t a good idea. Trust me.”
“Might’ve learned that myself the hard way,” Toya admitted with a chuckle as he stood up to join her. “My sister Freya kicked me through a wall in the gut and let’s just say I left more than rubble on the ground.”
Glancing at her clothing, Alex sighed. “Wish I had my coat but whatever. You got a sparring room in the castle or are we fighting in the gardens?”
“We can use the training yard the guards use,” Toya offered. “No one uses it this time of day.” Motioning with his hand, he indicated for him to follow. “It’s cool if we use that, right Morning?”
“Better there than the gardens,” Morning agreed, giving him a nod. “Just try not to make too big of a mess, okay?”
“Sure thing,” Toya replied, snickering. “I’ll try to avoid giving the mason more work.”
Alex stopped by Artemis, looking down at them. “You coming, Arty? Or are you enjoying the Princess gushing over you?”
Cadance blushed, pulling her hand away from Arty’s ears with a look that screamed of a filly who was caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
Artemis blinked and looked up from their soup, then looked over at Cadance. “I hadn’t even noticed.”
“You gonna come with, Cady?” Toya asked. “Or are you more invested in dinner?”
Pushing away from the table, Cadance smoothed out her dress. “Sure, just try to not get downed by one nut shot again,” she teased, sticking her tongue out at him.
Snorting, Toya started to lead the assembled group out of the dining hall.
Alex winced at the comment. “No one’s cheap enough to do that at home. Not that it’ll work on me anymore.”
“I think the princess meant you going for his little poms, not him trying to go for yours, Alex.” Artemis spoke up quickly while pushing away from the table with a few pieces of dry bread in one hand.
(Toya’s PoV:)
I stood at one end of the training yard, my short sword and dagger in hand. I sized Alex up as she summoned her keyblade. Given her stance, she was new to fighting. At least formal fighting. No, that wasn’t it, she was new to fighting things that aren’t monsters in some way if the way she was looking between her weapon and mine were anything to go by. Her training probably focused on heartless and the like. “Come at me with everything you’ve got. Magic is allowed if you’ve got it.”
“Why don’t you start?” she suggested, keeping her keyblade in front of her. “Show me what you got.”
Smiling, I charged at her, making a big show of leading with my sword. Meanwhile, I let frost dance along my fingers, creating a thin pillar of ice with a blunted top to hit her in her blindspot. Twisting her body around, she kicked off the pillar.
Raising her sword above her head, she swung it down on my head. Hopping to the side, I watched as she swung at the air.
"Nice instincts," I complimented, swinging for her side with my dagger. "I aimed for where you couldn't see."
“I train with a guy who can teleport,” Alex said, putting a bit of distance between us. “It’s hard not to adapt.”
“Good, wouldn’t want to end this with one cheapshot,” I told her, watching her footwork. It was solid, not something I could easily throw her off of with a little trick. Keeping my guard up, I opted to approach again. It was clear she was going on the defensive. My best bet was to use my height and weight to my advantage and break through her guard.
Her keyblade shimmered, changing into a completely different keyblade. It shifted in her hands, transforming into a pair of gauntlets. Changing her stance, she threw a punch at my gut. Pivoting on my foot, I narrowly avoided the blow. I clicked my tongue, now realizing how much harder it would be to disarm her with gauntlets. I waited for her next punch, hoping to catch it.
Bouncing on her heels, she swung at my side. Pivoting on her left foot, she spun around me. Pushing forward, I felt her shoulder collide with my back. Grinning, I could feel my blood pumping as I tried to spin and catch her. Lunging forward, I went to pull her into a bear hug. I managed to get my arms around her middle and hefted her off the ground with a grunt of effort.
Alex stiffened, not expecting the contact. Bringing her hands up, she clapped them on either side of my head. I might not be an average mortal, but even my equilibrium took a blow from that. On reflex, I dropped Alex, hopping back and creating an ice platform to keep me out of her reach. I wobbled for a moment, shaking my head to right myself.
"I take it you have medical training to box my ears that effectively," I commented, my voice sounding far away.
“I used to be a med student,” Alex replied, her gauntlets shifting back into another weapon in her hands. Now she bore a glaive.
I examined the spear carefully, it seemed about as long as I was tall with a wickedly curved blade edge. I suppressed a smirk. It was good instincts to negate my reach advantage. She was good, a real warrior. At this point, winning wasn't the goal anymore; I was just having fun. Leaping down from my perch, I brought my blades up to ready a strike or block a stab.
Alex jabbed her weapon upward, streams of air starting to swirl around her. Swiping at my chest, she punctuated the move with a blast of fire.
I flew backwards, summoning my magic to teleport to the ground. Unfortunately, due to the rush job on the spell, I kept my momentum and had to tuck and roll to avoid really hurting myself. "Okay, magic spear. Noted," I said, bouncing to my feet. I winced, my legs stinging from the fall.
Keeping her weapon before her, Alex studied my movements. Narrowing her eyes, she took a step forward.
"Feeling like taking the initiative this go around?" I questioned, taking up a defensive stance. "That fire move was pretty cool."
“Think so huh?” Alex asked, slashing at my legs.
I dodged the slash, stepping forward to narrow the gap between us. With the fire tricks she already showed, I wasn't going to risk grabbing at it. "I mean, it's no electric guitar scythe, but it's still cool."
The glaive vanished, its form splitting into a pair of daggers. Moving to meet me, she sent one towards my face and the other at my shoulder. Sucking in a sharp breath, I in the split second I had to react I brought up my short sword to redirect the dagger away from my face. I grunted, feeling the other sink into my shoulder. Deciding to go for broke, I twirled my short sword in an attempt to break her grip on the other weapon.
Swearing, Alex released the second dagger. Stepping back, she kept her remaining dagger up near her chest.
With a quick use of ice, I stopped the bleeding from my shoulder. Once this was over, I’d need to use a healing spell or risk a chewing out from my folks. I picked up the other dagger with a bit of levitation and slipped it into my sheath. Judging by her stance, it seemed like she needed both in hand to switch forms again. Or I hoped anyway. Being as patched up as I possibly could be, I went to clash blades with Alex again.
Light shined in her empty hand, solidifying into the lost dagger. Her blades collided with mine in a spray of sparks and metal. “That’s the thing about keyblades. They always come back.” She grinned, shifting her stance. Pulling back, she twisted into a crouch, slashing at my legs.
I jumped up, using her shoulder as a springboard to avoid the slash. “You really seem to have it out for my legs,” I commented, spinning around and stabbing at her back. “At least you’re not after my face, it’s my best feature.”
Alex rolled forward, sucking in air as the blade scraped her back. “I swear to god. If you cut my bra, you're paying for a new one.” Getting back to her feet, her blades shifted again. Once more bearing her original keyblade, she separated it into a sword and shield.
“That’s fine, my sister is a clothing designer,” I told her, waiting for her to make a move. “She’d be giddy to make you one.”
Shaking her head, Alex brought her shield in front of her. “Thanks but uh, no thanks. Only Rarity can make my clothes.”
Shrugging, I charged at her and sent a spike of ice towards her legs. It caught the side of her leg, sending her stumbling to the left.
I adjusted my charge, coming in from the right while her weight was shifted the other way. With a guttural noise, I threw my weight into a mighty swing. Alex swore again, shifting her keyblade to its default form. Bringing it to bear, she braced it against my blades. Sparks flew as the weapons clashed. Flexing my arms, I bore all my weight down on Alex.
“Stop!” Artemis’ voice rang out with a clear, commanding tone, and the next thing I knew Alex and Artemis were over ten feet away from me, with the moogle’s hands visibly straining to hold one of Aubade’s spikes to the rounded section. “I told you I needed to look at it, kupo. I told you it needed to at least be polished and cared for. Now I need a forge and some mythril or the local equivalent.”
“My dad has a forge in his workshop,” I said, checking my limbs to find that I could move again. “We can ask him if there’s already mythril inside. I do know he was babbling about getting a shipment of Asterian steel soon.”
Artemis nodded in response, and then began to gently tug at aubade. “Alex, you must let me take it. I can fix this, I promise, kupo.”
Alex stared at Aubade, her eyes carrying an unknown emotion. Her grip on Aubade lessened until her hand fell away from the hilt.
Sheathing my weapons, I rubbed the back of my head. “Sorry for damaging your blade. Should’ve warned you that my sword and dagger aren’t exactly normal.”
Artemis clutched the damaged keyblade as if it were a glass figurine and prone to shattering instead of a hardened weapon. They looked at me and nodded once, slowly. “Please, lead me to the forge. I need to start as soon as possible.”
“I’ll get my dad, he’d want to know that someone’s using his stuff.” With a couple rounds of teleportation, I had my dad in front of us.
“Any reason why you interrupted dessert?” Dad asked, quirking a brow at me.
“Artemis wants to use your workshop,” I explained.
“The keyblade must be repaired or else our Equestria has one less defender.” Artemis spoke up before even looking up from the broken weapon.
Alex said nothing, standing behind Artemis with her gaze towards the floor.
“Alright, let’s get over there then.” Dad said.
(Vash’s PoV:)
Throwing open the doors to my workshop, I led us down into the main room where the skeletal beginnings of a vehicle were taking shape. “Mind the mess, forgot to clean up some bits and bobbles after making good progress today. Forge is in the corner here,” I said, pointing to the forge built into the wall.
Artemis followed swiftly behind me and quickly started moving a few things around to more easily reach the hole in the wall that was the heating chamber of the modern-style forge. They hummed for a few seconds, then nodded before sliding the shaft and broken shard of the keyblade in. “No coals, fewer impurities. I’ll need some spare mythril, about as much as it would take to make a dagger.”
I went over to one side of the room and opened what looked like a closet of some kind. “Mythril huh? Equestria doesn’t use it for much but I believe I have a few ingots here.” Tracing the shelves, I settled on a stack of greenish metal. “Aha! There it is.” Picking up one of the bars, I returned to Artemis. “Here you go.”
The moogle looked at the rather large ingot, compared to their hands and what they had requested, and then nodded once more before placing it into the forge to heat up. “This will take some time. I apologize for the inconvenience and thank you for your assistance, kupo.” They then dipped into a bow towards me before turning back to the opening and placing a few shards of material on top of the mythril ingot.
“Always happy to help a fellow smith,” I assured with a thumb’s up. “Plus, it lets me see what working on a keyblade is like.”
“They shouldn’t have to work on it,” Alex spoke up, having sat down in a corner. “I didn’t take enough care of my damn weapon and now it’s all fucked.” Her voice carried a deep shame, and a sickening amount of self-loathing.
Toya took a seat next to her and patted her shoulder. “So you made a mistake, not the end of the world. To be fair, it got damaged clashing against weapons made from the scales of the world serpent. A lesser weapon would’ve shattered in the first clash.”
Artemis simply observed the inside of the forge, occasionally muttering and pointing into it, which was immediately followed by a spike of heat as a small burst of extra fire bathed the mythril and other materials.
Alex pulled away from Toya, flinching like she expected to be hit. “Don’t.... Don’t touch me,” she muttered, putting a good amount of distance between them.
Toya held his hands up, nodding in understanding. “Okay, no touching. But it’s not your fault that this happened. When you have a power like the keyblade, it’s easy to get cocky. I should know, cocky is like half my personality!” he joked, putting on a big grin.
No response came from Alex, who seemed to retreat back into herself.
Rubbing the side of his head, he continued. “At least you’ve learned from this, right? Some mistakes aren’t so easy to fix as a moogle with a forge. Trust me.” He gazed down at the ground, a look of shame crossing his features.
Having observed the whole thing in silence, Alex’s body language stood out to me. I came up to her side, making sure I gave her some space.“Hey, hey, breathe,” I instructed softly. “In through the nose and out of the mouth. Bring yourself back into the now.”
I didn’t think she was listening at first, at least until her breathing started to slow. Her body loosened up, but she kept herself scrunched down. “Thanks...” came her mumbled reply.
“It’s a trick I learned a long time ago,” I explained, taking a seat against the wall. “Once I was away from my mom, I started getting attacks like that. The college counselor got wind of it and taught me that.”
Artemis simply hummed to themselves while looking over from the far side of the room near the forge. The sound of tongs on metal could be heard as they drew out the glowing ingot and lifted a hammer with practiced ease. Soon the room was ringing with the sound of the mythril being hammered down and drawn out from the blocky shape into what looked like a long rod that was quickly placed back into the heat. Something about the humming seemed familiar, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it at the moment. Heavy metal maybe? It would drive me crazy later for sure.
Shaking off the tune, I looked down at Alex. “This is about more than just the sword, isn’t it?”
“Always is,” she said, lifting her gaze to the forge. “I’m just a walking ball of angst and repression.”
“And hormones. You are a teenager again.” Artemis quipped from across the room, interrupting their humming. “Those have an effect on the mind after all.”
Rolling my eyes, I ignored the moogle. “I know a bit about repression,” I said, sighing. “My mom was an old school Italian Catholic, so anything that was even remotely enjoyable was considered sinful. And I ended up cutting contact with her. I found out my brother was gay, tried to help him and ended up making her think it was me. I messaged my brother here and there through college, and he was still in the closet the last we talked. No idea what happened after I came here.”
Alex’s gaze finally rested on Aubade. “My mom was sick, very sick. She tried her best, but I usually ended up taking care of her.” She flinched, shrinking back into herself again. “My dad... hit me. A lot.”
I flinched, even though I’d had an idea of this revelation it still hurt to hear. “No one deserves that,” I said, shaking my head. It took every ounce of restraint to keep venom out of my voice. “No matter what. That man has no right to be called dad by you. He was nothing but a walking piece of trash.”
“People are not like metal. Different treatment for different things.” Artemis took the rod out and began hitting it again with rapid but powerful strikes that drew the material out even longer and thinner.
I frowned, trying to wrap my head around the phrasing. It was clear they were trying to help, though the metal metaphor was going over my head. Glancing back down at Alex, I continued. “I know it seems like this will hang over your life forever. And maybe it will be with you in some form for the rest of your life. But, if you find someone you can open up with, you can cast some light on it to make it shrink away.”
“Discord’s a good listener,” Alex said, glancing at me. “It’s easier with him. He doesn’t... he doesn’t have the preconceived notions ponies have.
My mind ground to a halt, the one word sticking out like a sore thumb. “I’m sorry, did you say Discord? Spirit of Disharmony and Chaos, Discord? Former tormentor of Equestria, Discord?”
“Uh... sure?” Alex blinked, her tension ebbing away. “He’s my uh, adopted mom’s boyfriend.”
That only added more momentum to my already spinning thoughts. “Okay, that’s a big surprise. Last time I saw him, I turned him into a statue with Tia and Lulu.”
“Oh, yeah. He was a statue for a while. Had a huge breakup fight with Celestia. They still quarantine the spot where it happened.”
“Breakup?” I questioned, trying not to picture those two together. “The Tia of your world dated Discord?”
Artemis actually giggled at that question and set the mythril back into the forge. “You might want something alcoholic soon if all of this seems so strange, kupo. They broke up ages ago because Discord did a stupid thing to Celestia.”
“Mommy turned Daddy into a her.” A strange sing-song voice cut in. Like a reverse of the cheshire cat, a four-legged, pinkish pony faded into existence beside Alex. “Was getting worried about Mister Sister. Daddy wanted me to go looking.”
I put a hand to my head, the news sinking in. I was forced to picture my Tia as a stallion. For some reason my mind went to fairly muscular with a full sunset red beard.
Alex frowned, holding the newcomer’s muzzle shut. “You really need to keep that sort of thing private, Screwy. I blabbed about that once and I felt like an asshole.”
“I don’t get it,” Toya said, scratching his cheek. “Why did that Tia start a fight instead of just asking to be turned back into a stallion?”
“Because mommy found out they couldn’t do it twice to anyone else after doing it to daddy.” ‘Screwy’ responded immediately after pulling back away from Alex and rubbing her muzzle with her hoof for a moment. “Your hand smells like cheese today.”
“Ah, that would explain it,” I said, holding back a snicker that Discord also got himself stuck in a different body from his own prank.
Clearing her throat, Alex ignored the cheese comment. “So, Vash, Toya, this is my big sister, Screwball. She can be a bit odd, so don’t hold it against her.”
“Chaos is in my family tree, so odd is the norm for me,” Toya dismissed, nodding to Screwball. “I dig the hat, Screwy.”
“No, my hat! Only I get to dig in it!” Screwball clutched it against the top of her head for a few seconds, then blinked and looked over at Alex. “Wait... that’s not what he meant, was it?”
Giggling, Alex flicked the propeller. “No, it’s not.” Her mood seemed to genuinely improve, judging by the easy smile on her face.
Grinning, a shovel appeared in Toya’s hand. “No, I meant it literally! Now hand over the hat! I must find the Chaos Gold!”
Screwball let out a panicked scream at this and flew across the room to hide behind one of Artemis’ ears, which shouldn't have been possible. “No, my hat. It only works for me!”
“Princess, please, I’m working. Go warp someone else’s personal magic field. There must be no chaos on me while I repair Aubade.” Unlike when they were chastising Alex earlier, Artemis’ tone with Screwball was quite kind as they gently pushed the floating earth pony away from their head. They then turned to the forge and pulled out the rod once more. A different tune was hummed as they began to work it over once more; drawing out a portion into a fine wire nearly a foot long.
I swear I could almost put a name to the band this time. Something with an ‘S’. I had to smile at Screwball’s antics. Despite her parentage, there was something wholesome about her. Even if she and physics didn’t seem to be on speaking terms.
Alex coaxed Screwball back onto the ground. “I’ll keep her over here,” she assured, scratching Screwball’s ear.
Artemis simply nodded and went back to working on the wire-thin piece of mythril, bending and angling it into the shape they desired before reaching for a pair of shears to snip it away from the rest, then dunk it into a bucket of water briefly before tossing it and the rest of the metal back in the forge. “Thank you, young master.”
“How much longer do you think it’ll take, Arty?” Alex asked, sitting down with Screwball draped across her lap.
“Another minute or so to heat up to the exact temperature I need, kupo, and then a few more to bond the metals together fully. It would be faster back home because I know exactly how much magic my tools can take before they shatter. These seem sturdy enough but I would rather not risk it.” They tapped on the anvil with one finger a couple times.
Alex nodded, watching Artemis’s hands move up and down. “Am I going to notice a difference? A shift in weight?’
“We’ll know when the repair is finished,” Artemis responded. “Now please, Alex, let me work.”
Falling silent, Alex took to petting Screwball like a cat. She watched each strike of the hammer, followed every spark. They didn’t seem to matter outside of that tiny forge.
I did my best to assist Artemis, handing off tools and watching the temperature like a hawk. We worked in silence, an understanding between craftsmen was all that was needed.
Setting the hammer down, Artemis placed the searing key into the awaiting trough. When Aubade emerged from the water, it was a blade transformed. Its colors were brighter, its blade shone without blemish.
Alex scrambled to her feet, upending a surprised Screwball. Grabbing it from Artemis’s tongs, she cradled Aubade close to her chest.
Holding up my hand, I offered a high five to the moogle. “Great work, kupo,” I said, grinning.
“I do my best, kupo.”
“...It’s off-color.” Alex held Aubade up, tracing the restored spike. It stood a light gray against a sea of green.
“A consequence of the sudden repair,” Artemis admitted, floating over to Alex. “She just needs some time with you is all. Give her regular use, kupo, and there’ll be no worries.”
Aubade slipped from Alex’s fingers, vanishing shortly after. Her breathing quickened, eyes staring into the distance. “It’s my fault. I broke her.” Alex’s shadow lost its form, pooling around her feet. “My fault...”
Tendrils of pitch wrapped around the girl's body, smothering her in their dark embrace. Her shape became more feral, punctuated by the bright yellow orbs that acted as her eyes. With lethal intent, she hurled herself at the terrified moogle.
Toya moved quickly, his Omnitrix going off and leaving him in his Diamondhead form. His arms shifted into blades and slashed at the shadowy tentacles emerging from Alex.
“Alex, calm down!” Toya called out, his voice distorted by his now alien biology.
“Worthless...” Whispers flitted from Alex’s dark form, claws swiping at Toya’s arms. “You break everything you care about...”
A thoughtful expression crossed Toya’s face. He let Alex claw at him and flinched a bit as the claws chipped at his diamond-like skin. “Alex, you’re not worthless. Don’t let that thing talk about you like that.”
Springing up Toya’s body, Alex twisted and spun. Claw and foot striking him in rapid succession. “Failure... you’ll never be anything but a failure.”
Growling in frustration, Toya grabbed Alex by the arms. In a matter of seconds they were encased in crystals the same shade of green as his skin.
Artemis stared, pompom whirling to and fro. Steadying herself against the forge, her voice came in sharp breaths. “I-is he... restrained?”
“I’d imagine so,” Toya offered, quickly moving in to encase Alex’s legs as well. “These crystals are on par with diamonds in terms of hardness.”
Shadow lashed out, batting Toya aside. Squirming and squeezing into every minute flaw, the wriggling darkness broke its prison into so many shards. Fixing his burning eyes on Artemis, Alex pounced.
Toya put himself between Alex and the moogle again, getting knocked off his feet by the sudden force.
“You’ll never be a real man...” Streaks of black dug into Toya’s skin, seeping into the cracks. “You’re pathetic...”
“What does real man even mean?” Toya shot back, trying to pry Alex off himself. “Mortals want to put themselves into neat little boxes. Make themselves think they fit one mold, and one mold only.” Reaching to his Omnitrix symbol, he canceled the transformation. “But life is messy. And we rarely fit into any one category.”
Vash wanted to say something, but for once, Toya had a good grasp on the situation. Reaching into his coat, he loaded his magnum. Given the shadow schtick going on, he settled on crystal tipped bullets loaded with flash spells. With a moment to aim, he shot at the tendrils trying to wrap around his son.
Only one would find its target, sending Alex in retreat. The others vanished into Screwball’s hat as she interposed herself between them. “No hurting Mr. Sister! Bad needle noggin!”
“They’re trick bullets,” Vash argued. “The light spell should damage the shadow magic while leaving Alex himself unharmed.” Coughing he added, “in theory” under his breath.
Screwball dug her hooves in, bracing her arms against Alex’s abdomen. “Mister Sister! It’s okay! Don’t be mad at little fuzzy!” Her voice became much harsher. “Ponies help, not gawk!”
Cadance's wings were extended, her feathers visibly ruffled. "H-how can I help?! I'm barely able to use telekinesis and that's when I'm not panicking!"
"Cadance, get out of the lab and tell the nearest guard to bring a squad to be on alert outside the workshop," Vash said, his tone even to avoid exasperating her panic attack.
Nodding, the pink alicorn sidled along the wall and towards the staircase.
“Little fuzzy, make quick now!” Screwball commanded, twisting her body away from Alex’s claws.
Artemis needed no further instructions, latching onto Cadance to let the princess carry them to safety.
“You’re the reason your mother’s sick...” Alex kicked away from Toya, planting himself on the staircase. “All your fault...
Throwing his hand out, Toya raised a wall of ice, cutting Alex off from Cadance and Artemis. “Good luck trying to find cracks in that. I’ve laced that with my magic. Fort Knox ain’t got nothing on my walls.”
Screwball attached herself to Alex’s back, burying her muzzle into his pitch black skin. “Alex, please! Come back! Everything will be okay.”
“I’m going to try something.” Adjusting his Omnitrix, Toya was back in his siren form. Wasting no time, he began to sing. Dancing to the beat of her own making, Toya let her emotional magic spread throughout the room.
Alex’s gnarled hand snared the gruff of Screwball’s neck, pulling the mare in front of him. Yellow eyes bore into her swirls, raising his free hand above his head.
“Any time you wanna let me use the flash bullets, let me know, Screwball,” Vash snapped, his revolver at the ready.
Screwball remained silent, watching unflinchingly as Alex’s hand crept towards her. His claws touched her fur, almost a stain against her coat.
“It’s okay,” she assured, nuzzling her cheek against his hand. “Come back to us.”
Shadow bubbled and boiled, running off Alex’s body in thick globs. He stumbled, collapsing against the ice wall. The cast of ichor congealed, reforming into his shadow. Going limp, Alex resembled peaceful sleep.
Canceling his transformation, Toya knelt down and put a hand on Alex’s shoulder. With a quick wave of his hand, the wall of ice faded from existence. Catching him before he could fall, Toya stood up with the smaller teen in his arms. “Let’s get him to one of the guest rooms.” With that, he went up the stairs and out of the workshop with the others close behind.
What greeted him when he came out was a still frazzled, but more calm looking Cadance and a dozen guards. “Stand down everyone,” Vash said, his revolver tucked away. “The situation has been resolved.”
Screwball hovered at Toya’s shoulder, fussing with Alex’s hair. “Mister Sister is okay now. No more scaries from him.”
The guards relaxed, breaking off with a salute directed at Toya and Vash and went to resume their duties. Cadance gave her friend a tight hug, being mindful of the person he was carrying.
“I’m so glad you’re alright.”
Toya grinned, a chuckle escaping his lips. “Have a little faith. We only took so long because Screwball wouldn’t let us directly attack Alex.”
“Yes, well, thank you.” Artemis steadied her pompom. “I know my way about a forge, not a battlefield.”
“No worries,” Vash said, grinning. “I prefer to be a lover over a fighter myself.” Turning his attention to Toya, he gave him a nod. “Go ahead and teleport to a guest room, I’ll let Tia and Morning know what happened.”
Nodding, Toya disappeared in a flash with the others in tow.
When the group reappeared, they were in the castle’s infirmary. The nurse on duty jumped in her stool, only to frown when she saw Toya.
“Prince, how many times have I told you that the door exists for a reason?” She huffed, adjusting her cap as Toya laid Alex on the nearest open bed. “Let me guess, overexerted this one while training, as usual?”
“Not this time Patchwork,” Toya answered, forgoing a cheeky remark to make Alex an ice pack.
Hovering by the bed, Screwball clutched her hat close. “Too much tan, not enough sunshine.”
Patchwork quirked a brow at Screwball’s odd statement but went ahead and put a hand on Alex’s forehead. “Hmm, seems like she’s displaying signs of magic overload. I’ll get the sugar water mixed with electrolytes and some orange wedges.” Pushing away on her stool, she busied herself with grabbing the drink and fruit.
“Mister Sister not Sister Mister,” Screwball corrected, mushing her hat between her hooves.
“Ah, my mistake.” Sliding back over, Patchwork gently sat Alex up and coaxed him to drink.
Alex pushed the mare away, nearly flinging himself off the bed. Black bile heaved past his lips, pooling on the floor. Gripping the side, he purged the lingering shade from his body.
“Hmm, either your species deals with magic overload differently with ponies, or this was something else.” Patchwork seemed to not react to the events, merely grabbing a rag in her magic and cleaning up the bits of shade on Alex and then the floor. “Feel better with that mass out of you?”
Pulling himself back onto the bed, Alex covered his mouth as his stomach lurched again. “...Water...”
Without missing a beat, Patchwork had the water she’d given him previously in front of him. “Need a pan in case you empty your stomach some more?”
“M’fin.” Trapping the cup between trembling hands, he consumed the liquid in two mighty gulps.
“Want some more?” Patchwork asked gently, preparing more of the sugar and electrolyte water.
“Yes...”
Nodding, Patchwork quickly finished the pitcher and gave Alex another glass.
As before, Alex guzzled the water down. His body shuddered, fighting to expel its new contents. “T-thanks...” he muttered, keeping his stomach under control.
“You’re welcome, just try to rest easy,” Patchwork offered. “After what you’ve been through it’s best you don’t move around too much.”
Alex laid back, gulping back his gullet. “What happened?”
“You were consumed by darkness,” Vash answered, leaning against the counter. “Kept talking about your most negative thoughts about yourself.”
Gripping the empty cup tighter, Alex’s gaze traced the rim. “Everyone okay?”
“We should be asking you that,” Toya retorted, a slight smile on his face. “You’re the only one in the infirmary bed afterall.”
“...I’m fine,” Alex said, getting another refill. This time, he savored the water, each sip stilling his trembles. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Kid, I know mental trauma bubbling under the surface when I see it,” Vash said, taking a seat at the edge of Alex’s bed. “I don’t know if you’re lying to us or yourself, but either way you need to hear this. If you don’t get yourself in order, that shadow will come back, and are you willing to risk hurting your family if it does?”
“I’m already planning on seeing someone,” Alex snapped. “So drop it.”
Sighing, Vash shook his head and stood up. "Fine, I will."
Screwball wrapped her arms around Alex, peppering him with nuzzles and kisses. “Mister Sister is all better. Shades and sorrow are all gone!”
"Let's hope that's the case," Toya agreed, fiddling with a cube of ice in his hand and letting it shift shapes every so often. "My throat's still scratchy from my siren song."
“Sorry.” Alex shrugged, focusing on his cup.
Sensing the tension in the air, Vash slipped his glasses onto his face. "Oh, Toya! I just realized I had some new gun tricks to show off!" Unholstering his gun, he deftly removed the cylinder so he could safely demonstrate with it. Spinning it on his finger, he tossed it into the air. While it flipped in midair, he pivoted on his heels to spin in place. Extending his hand, he looped his finger through the trigger guard all without the gun losing its rotation.
"I'm thinking of adding a little hoop to the grip," the blond man explained, making a crude dance of his display. "Then add some retractable fishing line that gets sewn into my glove and make it impossible for me to get disarmed. Not to mention the pistol whipping tricks." Distracted by his own train of thought, his feet got tangled up, tripping him and sending him falling towards Alex.
Breaking glass echoed across the room, Vash melting into light. When the light died Alex was standing in his bed in a new outfit. A red letterman's jacket was draped over his shoulders with a golden V stitched on the right breast. He was now wearing a red basketball style jersey with twin revolvers emblazoned on it. The jersey went down to his knees, hiding the basketball shorts beneath.
Alex hopped up, patting himself down. “Huh. I wasn’t... expecting that,” he said slowly, fishing his phone out of his pocket. Snapping a pic, he glanced over his shoulder. “Made a nice jacket though.”
"Uh, what about my dad?" Toya asked, looking Alex over.
“Oh he’s my clothes.” Alex motioned to himself. “At least right now.”
"Okay, how is he your clothes?" the hybrid deadpanned.
Grabbing Vash’s revolver from the bed, Alex began to perform one of Vash’s tricks. “It’s complicated. Let’s just leave it at magic.”
"Ah, then you don't have to explain it," Toya agreed with a laugh.
“Nope. Not in the slightest.” He smiled, twirling the revolver. “He’ll be alright though.”
'This feels really weird,' Vash thought, trying and failing to move.
Placing the gun down, Alex giggled. “I imagine becoming someone's clothes would be weird. I wouldn’t know, thankfully.”
‘Okay, but how do I stop being your clothes?’
“That’s up to me.” Alex stretched, cracking his knuckles. “But right now, I feel good! Thanks for the pick me up!”
‘You’re welcome. So, since you’ve got my gun, why don’t you see if you have the skill? There’s targets in the training yard.’
Retrieving the revolver, Alex moved to the doorway. “Okay! Thank you nurse lady for the care. Let’s go shoot stuff while I have an emotional high!”
Toya poked at the jacket, quirking a brow. “I take it my dad can talk to you while he’s like this. Otherwise you’ve snapped and are talking to yourself.”
Alex pushed him out the door. “Can we just go shoot something? Please?”
“Fine, fine,” Toya said with a chuckle. “But walking is for chumps.” Snapping his fingers, he, Alex and Cadance disappeared in a flash of light. With another flash they appeared in a training yard with a series of targets, some in varying sizes.
A frown tugged at Alex’s face, glancing furtively at Toya’s fingers. Shrugging it off, he moved a good distance away from the targets. “Alright! Are we ready to start?”
“We’re all ready here. Let’s see if you can aim half as well as my dad,” Toya said, giving Alex a thumbs up.
Lifting the firearm, Alex took aim at the closet target. Letting whatever instincts he acquired from Vash take hold, he squeezed the trigger. With a bang, a hole in the center of the target appeared. The noise jostled Alex’s concentration, sending the firearm tumbling from his hands.
‘Seems like I’m good for something besides looking good in this form. Relax, it’s natural to get the jitters when something that loud is close to you.’
“How the hell do you fire that thing without going deaf?” Alex knelt down, gingerly lifting up the revolver.
‘Abnormal physiology for the most part. I do still get a slight ringing if I fire it a lot at a time though.’
Alex resumed his stance, steadying his breath. “Okay. Walk me through this.”
‘Okay, relaxing is the first thing. Steady your breathing or your arms will waver. The sight is your friend, use it since you don’t have the years of experience I do. And when you fire, move your arms with the recoil. You can hurt yourself if you fight it. Ever wonder why movie characters lift their arms when shooting pistols? That’s why.’
Taking a breath, Alex slowly exhaled. When the last of the air left his lungs, he pulled the trigger again. At first he thought nothing happened, but with a bit of concentration he realized he hit the exact same spot as before.
“Okay, there’s no way I’m that good.” Alex ignored the ringing in his ears.
‘You may not be, but I am,’ Vash chimed in. ‘I’m guessing that this little technique gives you some of the skills from the one you’ve turned into clothes?’
“Something like that,” Alex said, shifting a bit. “I’m just glad you don’t have me twirling around.”
‘It also seems like you didn’t get my telepathy. Good thing too, can’t imagine what a teenager would do with that. Stick to shooting things responsibly.’
Alex rolled his eyes. “I’m in my twenties.”
‘And what’s your age physically?’ Vash countered.
“Get out of my head.” Alex glowed, spawning Vash from himself. Deciding against trying out a gun trick, he held it out to Vash. “Thanks for the tips though.”
“No problem. Would hate to see someone break their wrist trying to hit a target.” With a quick flourish, the tall man holstered his weapon once more.
Vash’s coat squirmed, wriggling and thrashing. Screwball’s head popped out of a pocket, blinking the swirls under control. “Not Mr. Sister.” Retreating into the coat, she proceeded to emerge from behind Alex. “Time to go. Mother is very worried about the shade!”
“That’s a shame, come back soon,” Toya said, grinning and holding out his hand. “I’ll be sure to show you the best arcade in Canterlot the next time you come here. Though I doubt you’ll be able to beat Caddy’s Mareio Sisters score.”
“Those are words.” Alex took his hand, giving it a squeeze. “But I’ll take you up on that when I have some free time.” Turning to Vash, he cleared his throat. “Sorry about... stuff...”
“Apology accepted, but not needed,” Vash assured, giving Alex a thumbs up. “Put your all into the therapy you get and we’ll consider the whole thing water under the bridge.”
“Will do.” Alex nodded. “So uh... send me home!”
“Our contract is complete,” Vash said, waving. “Take care, kid.”
When reality melted back into view, Alex was sitting in a comfy chair, a small rabbit on his lap. Discord stood before him, clad in medical scrubs.
“Alright, you’ll need to lose the coat,” Discord ordered, pulling a glove over his paw.
Rolling his eyes, Alex shrugged off his coat. He didn’t see the point in this, but didn’t say anything if it made Discord feel better. Anxiety raced up his spine, watching Discord reach into his chest as if he touched water.
“Okay! Whoa! That’s freaky!”
“Alex, you need to stay still,” Discord chided. “I don’t want to mix up anything in your metaphysics.”
“You try not squirming when someone pulls a Temple of Doom on you,” Alex shot back, doing his best to settle down.
“You say those things like I know what...” Discord paused, eyes searching off to the side.
Alex could feel his paw wrap around something. He squirmed a bit, unable to truly comprehend the strange feeling.
“Fluttershy! Come here, dear,” Discord called out, slowly easing the thing from Alex’s chest.
“Uh, what did you find?” Alex said, not looking down at whatever Discord was pulling out of him. “And should I be concerned?”
“Just wait for your mother to get here,” Discord said, an edge to his voice. “Now you might feel a pinch...” he warned, removing the thing from Alex.
Wincing, Alex rubbed at his chest in a vain attempt to relieve the sting. “With all that chaos magic there wasn’t a painless way to do that?”
Fluttershy stepped into the room, a nervous glint in her eyes as she wiped a hoof on the apron she was wearing. “What is it, Discord? Is Alex going to be okay?”
Discord straightened up, cupping something in front of him. “Do you remember how Alex was sucking in magic and he pulled in some of your ambient pegasus magic?”
“I do remember that,” Fluttershy confirmed, nodding and staring at the thing in Discord’s paw. “What does that have to do with now though?”
“Well...” he mulled the words on his tongue. “I thought I had removed all the chaos magic. It turn out, he was still pulling it in.” Turning around, he revealed the orb in his hands.
It roiled with color, no shade lasting more than a few seconds. A thin cord trailed from its bottom to Alex’s chest. Near the top, a small wisp of black emitted from its body.
“So are you saying you can’t fully remove chaos magic from Alex?” Fluttershy questioned, staring at the orb with a frown.
“No!” Discord hissed, cradling the orb like a child. His features shifted, reverting to a more primal nature. Closing his eyes, he breathed out, restoring his more placid look. “We can’t remove it. This isn’t my chaos anymore, it’s Alex’s.”
Blinking, Alex tried to process what he was hearing. “Are you saying I’m making my own chaos magic now?”
“Your chaos is a seed,” Discord began. “And it needs to germinate before it blooms. If it ever does.”
“Can you dumb that down for me?” Alex asked with a huff. “It’s been a long day and I’d like to understand things for once.”
“It might never amount to anything or... you could become like Screwball and I.”
Alex rubbed the side of his head, letting that sink in. “So like... A chaos god?”
"We prefer the term spirit since the word god has a lot of baggage," Discord argued, rotating his talon like it was a drill bit. "But essentially, yes."
Fluttershy hovered up to the orb, pointing a hoof. “What’s that stuff leaking out?”
Discord’s face shifted, catching a bit of the wisps on his talons. “That my dear Fluttershy is Nightmare Moon. Consider. We were all very afraid she’d try to affect Alex through his memories. Isn’t it strange that she never did? Or that the topic was just... dropped?”
Alex clicked his tongue. “That would explain all those weird ass dreams I was having around then.”
“Your chaos wrapped around her like a steel trap, isolating her and the affected memories. Instinctively, it suppressed the knowledge in yourself and those around you.”
Sighing, Alex shook his head. “I’m just gonna pretend I understood that. Point is, Nightmare isn't able to get what she wants, right?”
Discord tsked, motioning to the leak. “I would say yes but your ‘incident’ seems to have jolted the lock. As it stands, she’s still trapped.” Pushing the orb back into Alex’s chest, he offered an oversized rainbow lollipop. “Try to keep it that way, young man.”
“Got it, no more shade mode. Good thing we planned on sending me to the shrink.” Standing up, Alex patted his chest. He couldn’t feel his chaos. Despite being aware of it, it went as unnoticed as the blood in his veins.
“Good, then wash your hands because I’m almost done making dinner,” Fluttershy chimed in with a smile. “You can have that candy as dessert.”
Discord put a paw on Alex’s shoulder, squeezing it gently. “I believe before that, you have an apology to give.”
Sagging his shoulders, Alex grunted. “Are Screwball and Artemis still around?”
“You know Screwball is never too far away and I think I saw Artemis in the garden,” Discord offered, waving his paw at the door.
Swallowing back his doubt, Alex left his room. His heart pounded in his ears even as his stomach sank into an abyss. Stepping through the horde of animals, the soft sounds of the evening greeted him outside.
“Artemis?” he asked the night, almost hoping she wouldn’t respond.
“I am here, kupo,” Artemis responded. Alex was able to make out the pom pom on her head from the bridge leading into town.
Shuffling his feet, Alex made his way to the bridge. Looking over the railing, he glared down at the sad girl looking back at him. “Hey um...” the words trailed off, his mind failing to supply them. “We should... talk.”
“Okay, I will listen to what you have to say.” The moogle’s usual monotone betrayed nothing, giving Alex very little to work with.
Alex shuffled in place, gripping onto the railing. “When Aubade broke, it felt like everything my father ever said was right. And when I saw the miscoloring I-I couldn’t handle it. I’m sorry.” Barely choking back a sob, he lowered himself out of sight. “I’m so sorry, Artemis. I could’ve hurt you so badly. Aubade never should’ve picked me.”
“If one were unworthy of a keyblade because of a moment of darkness, then none would carry one,” Artemis responded. “It is at least heartening that you care about the state of your blade. Perhaps don’t let insecurity keep me from doing my job, kupo.”
Forcing himself forward, Alex lurched into the garden. “That’s it? You're not pissed that I tried to kill you? You should be refusing to see me! Refusing to even work on Aubade!”
“Working on Keyblades means working with Keyblade Masters,” Artemis answered, looking at Alex as if that was obvious. “And working with Keyblade Masters entails all the risks that comes with. It’s unfortunate you had your shade unleashed, but darkness and light shift constantly within those who take up the key, kupo.”
“You make it sound so easy.” Extending a shaky hand, Alex conjured forth Aubade. Desperate eyes avoided staring, willing himself to avoid its shape. “Here.” Placing it down beside her, he bowed his head. “I won’t argue with you anymore.”
“These things are never easy, kupo,” Artemis offered, taking Aubade in her hand. “Understanding comes with time. How could I be angry when you too are hurting? And you understand the problem. That puts you ahead of some Masters I have seen, kupo.”
Wiping at his eyes, Alex cleared his throat. “Right. Thanks.” With his emotions settling, the chill of winter made itself known. “I’m going to go back inside. Do you want to join us for dinner?”
"Hmm, that will delay my full repair but hospitality is appreciated." Flapping her wings, she latched onto Alex's head. "Lead me to food, kupo."
Rushing back to the warmth, Alex’s thoughts lingered on the day's events. Whatever was happening to him, whatever he was becoming, he’d make it his.
Alex sat beside Fluttershy, restlessly turning the book over in his hands. He had to remind himself that Dr. Clear Mind came highly recommended. Luna wouldn’t have done so if he wasn’t good. The prospect of digging up all his old wounds didn’t excite him. Especially if, or more likely when, his father were to come up. The thought was threatening to set his flight or fight response off like crazy.
A comforting hoof touched his shoulder. “Just breathe, okay?” Fluttershy wrapped a wing around him, nuzzling his shoulder.
“I’m breathing.” Despite saying that, he sighed and took a steadying breath. “Any chance we could bail and replace therapy with pizza night?”
“You made a promise,” Fluttershy pressed, poking his side.
“I know.” Slumping over, he made a token effort to try to read his book.
An older mare approached, offering a smile. “Alexander Lionheart? The doctor will see you now.”
Grumbling, Alex stood up and dragged himself into the office. He kept his head down until he was laying down on the stereotypical chair associated with therapy.
A middle aged earth pony mare greeted him, sitting across from him. Her features were warm, a pair of glasses sitting on her muzzle.
“It’s nice to meet you, Alex,” she spoke, her voice carrying a lilt. “I’m Dr. Clear Mind.”
“Nice to meet you too.” Alex shifted, holding the book towards her. “This is for you. It’s a book on human psychology.”
Taking the offered book, Clear ran a hoof over the cover. “Oh my! That’s quite a gift.” Placing it beside herself, she adjusted her glasses. “I will read up on it of course, but I don’t want to build our relationship on preconceived notions.”
Alex nodded, settling back into his seat. “Fair, but something tells me I can supply notions just fine during this session.”
“Your mother told me the reason you didn’t see me before was due to a fear that I would treat you using pony psychology.” She gave the book a pat. “You needn’t worry about that. I specialize in treating non-ponies.”
“I can appreciate that,” Alex relented, looking up at the ceiling. “Do you have anything like a stress ball? My hands tend to fidget when I’m starting to get stressed.”
Clear motioned to a box under the table. “It might be too large, one of my minotaur patients brought it in.”
Alex reached out and pulled the box from under the table. Sitting it on his lap, he nodded to continue. “I’ll make do. So, where do you wanna start?”
“Where would you like to start?” Clear asked. “What are you comfortable with sharing today?”
Alex opened his mouth, only to instantly shut it. He’d wanted to respond with nothing, but something told him that his sarcastic response would’ve been taken seriously for the purposes of the session. So that left himself to consider the question seriously.
“I have a friend,” Alex began, eyeing the stress ball. “We’re pretty close... I think... we like each other more than friends...”
“That’s all perfectly natural,” the doctor noted, a warm smile on her face. “But I take it there are some things that make the situation more complicated than that?”
Alex fidgetted, taking the grapefruit sized ball into his hands. “I never even realized I liked guys... but I don’t know if that’s me or the body.”
Clear mind chuckled, scribbling down what Alex guessed was what he was saying. “There’s no simple answer to that. Denial can be a powerful thing. If you grew up in an environment where same sex attraction is discouraged, you may have developed internal mechanisms to instantly rationalize any hints of attraction previously. And now that you’re in an accepting environment, or because your body doesn’t match what you’re used to rationalizing with, those feelings are coming to surface.
“There’s also the fact that sexuality and romantic feelings can be fluid-”
“Then there's the age gap and just thinking about it makes me feel awful.”
“Yes, I did see in my notes that you were considered an adult on your old world.” If Clear Mind minded being interrupted, she didn’t show it. “Do you think that constantly being treated like a child here has influenced this development of feelings with your friend?”
“I’m almost twice his age!” Alex continued, words vomiting forth. “I’m an adult and he’s a kid. I-It’s just wrong! And we kissed and we went to the gala and... and I don’t want to take advantage of him.”
“If that’s how you feel then you should tell him that,” Clear Mind offered, not a hint of judgment in her tone. “You need to establish your boundaries with him explicitly if you wish to keep him as a friend and avoid these feelings of guilt.”
Alex groaned, slumping down in his seat. “I don’t know what I want.”
“The other clear option in this circumstance would be to avoid the colt altogether,” she pointed out, looking up from her notes. “And something tells me you’d like that even less.”
“I’m not going to avoid Snails,” Alex snapped.
“Then you need to confront this one way or another. And my personal standing on the matter, given you consider yourself an adult and have lived twice as long as this colt, would be the establishing of boundaries.”
“But I’m not an adult am I?” Alex asked, looking at himself. “I like to tell myself I still am but I’m not. Portions of my brain un-developed and I’m running on hormones and a still redeveloping brain.”
“Is that how you really feel or is this you internalizing how you’ve been treated since coming to Equestria?” Clear Mind asked, returning to her notes. “From your file it says that in your life prior to Equestria you were considered old enough to hold long term employment and housing. Even with hormones coursing through you, it seems hard to give up the idea of being an adult in the short time you’ve been here.”
Alex’s pressed on the ball, slightly deforming it. “I don’t know. I just want things to make sense.”
“That is why we’re here.” The doctor tittered, offering him a smile. “To get these feelings out in the open and work through them.”
Shifting, Alex cast his eyes away. “...I told Snails at the gala that if we ended up as more than friends we’d... figure it out.”
“That is the healthy thing to do. No matter how you want to resolve this situation, communicating with Snails would be the mature course of action.”
Taking a moment to make a note, Clear spoke again. “Have you been in any relationships before?”
Alex shrugged. “I’ve had sex before.”
"And was this a casual affair or were you trying for something long term?"
“It was drunken.”
The doctor chuckled, making another note. "So, very casual. Did you have romantic interests on your previous world?"
“There was a girl in college but she was out of my league.” He managed to look at her. “That’s about it.”
"Sounds like limited experience all around. Nothing wrong with that but it does make it hard to get a gauge on how new of a development an attraction to colts is."
Rising from her seat, she poured them both a glass of lemonade. “But that does give us a starting point.”
Rolling the ball in his hands, Alex nodded. "If you say so. I still feel like my wheels are spinning in the mud."
Retaking her seat, Clear sipped at her glass. “This doesn’t change my earlier advice, however, seeing as how you're just as inexperienced in relationships as he is, this might be a good experience for both of you.”
Eyeing the glass, Alex gingerly took a drink. “I... guess.”
Nodding in approval, Clear smiled. “Just remember, relationships are built upon mutual trust, respect and comfort. If you start dating Snails and it feels wrong, it’s okay to break things off in a healthy way.”
Alex nodded, his grip on the stress ball slackening. “I guess that makes sense. I think Snails would understand if I’m uncomfortable.”
The atmosphere of the room seemed lighter, and Alex found himself opening up more. Clear Mind proved to be what she seemed, even when he rattled on about something trivial. So engrossed was he, that his recounting of the gala was cut short.
Tapping on the ringing bell, Clear got to her hooves. “Oops! That’s our time, Alex. It certainly flies, doesn’t it?”
Putting the ball back in its box, Alex stood up. “I’ll admit, I didn’t hate this as much as I thought I would. This was almost… pleasant.”
Clear walked him to the door, carrying the book on her back. “I’m glad you found the experience pleasant. If this is something you’d like to do again, your mother can schedule you for this time next week.”
“I’ve kinda promised to so she’s sure to do that,” Alex admitted, following the doctor back to the waiting room.
“Have a good week, Alex.” Clear waved to them, slipping back into her office.
Alex approached Fluttershy, clearing his throat. “So um... things went well.”
Wrapping her wings around his waist, Fluttershy pulled him close. “I’m so proud of you. Thank you for taking this seriously.”
Kneeling down, he returned her hug. “Geez, you’re going to make me melt if my blush gets any hotter.”
“Too bad, that’s my job as your mother,” Fluttershy shot back, hugging him tighter. Stepping away, she gave him a nudge. “We have a bit of shopping to do before we head home.”
“Shopping too? What did I do to deserve this level of torture?” Alex groaned, following her out of the office.
Leading him towards the market, she tittered. “We’re just doing some ingredient shopping. I want your first Hearth's Warming to be memorable.”
Alex’s step lost its bounce. He regarded her for a moment before asking, “That’s like your Christmas, right?”
“That was the gift giving holiday you mentioned, right? Not the one with fireworks? If so, then yes. Your Christmas seems a lot like Hearth's Warming. It’s one of the most magical nights of the year.”
“Yeah, the most wonderful time of the year.” Alex attempted enthusiasm, managing a half-hearted chuckle. If Fluttershy noticed, she didn’t comment.
During a stop at a vegetable stall, Fluttershy started to prance. “Oh! I almost forgot to tell you.” turning to him, she bore a giddy smile. “You got invited to a sleepover!”
“Oh yeah? Who invited me?” Alex tried to force a smile, but the idea of a sleepover didn’t excite him. The word was always associated with girly things.
“Applejack did. Well, Apple Bloom did but Applejack passed it on,” Fluttershy explained as they resumed their walk. “Rarity’s parents are leaving town for the weekend and Applejack agreed to look after Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.”
Alex took a moment to consider it. While the Crusaders tended to be a bit too energetic for his liking, they weren’t exactly bad fillies. One weekend wouldn’t kill him, right? On the other hand... he was pretty sure Applejack still hated his guts.
“We can tell AJ I’ll be there,” he stated, nodding.
Fluttershy squealed, her prancing increasing. “Oh! You're going to have so much fun! I remember all the sleepovers Dash and I had as fillies.”
“Okay, but if things get uncomfortable for me, it’s okay for me to come home, right?” Alex asked, a pleading look on his face.
“I’m sure Discord wouldn’t mind giving you a quick way home,” she conceded.
Alex managed a real smile, letting a hand rest on her back. “I appreciate that. And I promise I’ll give the sleepover an honest shot and not bail at the first thing that bugs me.”
One of winter’s more powerful aspects was its ability to change a landscape. A heavy snowfall could make any land into a kingdom of cold. The walk to the farm house reminded Alex of many a Kinkade painting.
The chill crept up on him, making him rub his hands together out of habit. It didn’t do anything through the fabric of his gloves. Biting back a frown, he hefted his bag in an attempt to gauge if he had everything he needed for the sleepover.
“Good evening.”
Applejack’s voice cut through the chilly night, drawing his eyes to the porch. Much like himself, she sported a winter coat and a warm scarf. “Walk wasn’t too bad fer ya, was it?”
“The walk was fine, fingers got a little cold but nothing major.” Alex nodded at the mare. “Evening treating you well?”
“Ah’m fine.” Applejack placed herself between him and the door. “Look Alex, Ah know things between us haven’t been the best.” Taking her hat off, she held it over her chest. “Ah’m sorry Ah took my anger out on ya.”
“I don’t blame you,” Alex admitted, feeling his loathing rise. “You were right to. I failed to keep Big Mac safe.”
Lifting his head, Applejack greeted him with a scowl. “Oh no, ya ain’t doin’ that to yerself. You and Twilight did everything y'all could to help Zecora and mah brother. Don’t put yerself down because someone else did a bad thing.”
Alex nodded, a noncommittal smile on his face. “So, start over fresh?”
Stepping to the side, she replaced her hat. “Dang straight! Now git on inside. Bloom and the girls are waiting fer ya!”
Nodding again, Alex forced a wider smile. He was walking into the viper’s den now. All he needed was to not show fear and he could likely avoid the venom, or much more likely property damage knowing the three vipers in question.
The Apple’s home was the manifestation of a cozy farmstead. Family pictures lined the walls, from grainy black and white to vivid color. The cozy feeling couldn’t help but remind him of his mother. Even when the bastard that referred to itself as his father was at its worst, she did what she could to protect that very feeling.
“Alex!” Sweetie Belle’s squeaky voice rang down the hall. She ran down to meet him, coils bouncing around her face.
“That’s my name, don’t wear it out,” Alex said, taking a step back to avoid a collision with the unicorn. “Did you change your mane? Seems curlier than usual.”
Sweetie beamed with pride, running her hoof through her mane. “Rarity took me to the spa! They made my mane super curly!”
“That explains it.” Alex gave her a thumbs up. “Don’t think they’d be able to do anything besides make this a proper pixie cut.” He tugged at his short hair for emphasis.
“You just need to grow your mane out.” Surrounding his hand with the green glow of her magic, Sweetie tugged him along. “It is pretty though. Not many ponies have a black mane.”
“I dunno about growing it out, long hair seems like such a hassle. Pretty sure I’d wind up with a rat’s nest since I’d be too lazy to take care of it.” He wasn’t exactly lying, but he didn’t want to bring down the mood with his baggage.
Apple Bloom’s room was on the second floor, near the front of the house. It shared the same homey atmosphere as the rest of the house. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo sat on the bed, arguing over a book.
“How long until you think they notice us?” Alex questioned, leaning down to whisper in Sweetie’s ear. “My money’s on five minutes.”
“Girls! Alex is here!” Sweetie chirped, trotting into the room.
“Spoilsport,” Alex grumbled, putting on a brave face as he was swarmed by the other two members and dragged into the room in a blur of motion. “Okay hold on!” Alex put his hands up. “Give me a second to get settled, would ya?”
Apple Bloom stepped back, chuckling. “Sorry Alex, we just got excited since yer finally hangin’ out with us.”
“I’ve hung out with you before.” Alex placed his bag by the door and paused. “Uh... what do you want me to do with my shoes?”
“You can put them in the wardrobe,” Apple Bloom offered, opening the closet and pointing at the corner of it for him. “There’s plenty o’ room since Ah’ve only got a little bit o’ clothes.”
Slipping them off, he placed them and his bag inside. Shrugging off his coat, he placed it on an empty hook. A tap on his heel made him jump. Whirling around, he found Scootaloo looking at his sock curiously.
“Uh, mind not poking at me like I’m something strange on your plate?” Alex asked, turning to move his foot away from the prodding pegasus.
“Sorry.” Scootaloo backed up, her cheek fur darkening. “It’s just, I’ve never seen you without those things on!”
“Well yeah, human feet aren’t exactly well protected against the elements like hooves are.” As much as he would’ve liked to wear his normal relaxing clothes, it was still winter. A long john shirt and sweatpants made up his sleepwear for his mini vacation. With his bag down, he looked around the room. “So.. what were you two arguing about?”
“We were talkin’ bout’ what we’d do next to get our cutie marks,” Apple Bloom clarified. “We made a big list and we’re stuck on what ta do next.”
“Ah, makes sense for the Cutie Mark Crusaders,” Alex said, ready to sit down and pretend to listen. “Anything in particular you were looking at?”
Scootaloo puffed her chest out, her little wings buzzing. “I think we should try for snowboarding cutie marks!”
“Are there any good hills to practice that on?” Alex questioned. “And where would we even get snowboards at this time of night?”
Grabbing their list, Sweetie floated it onto a bookshelf. “Come on girls, I think it’d be unfair to talk cutie marks when Alex can’t get one.”
The pair shared a look, nodding and turning to Alex. “Sweetie’s right, sorry if you felt left out,” Scootaloo said, holding a hoof out.
Taking it, Alex gave it a little shake. “Ah, don’t worry about it. I did just get here after all. Besides, even if I can’t get a mark I could probably have fun doing whatever you’re trying.”
Scootaloo regarded her hoof curiously before clapping them together. “That could be fun! I don’t think they make snowboards for ‘feet’ though.”
“I could probably convince Discord to adjust the straps for me to put my feet in. We’d just have to find one for someone my height.”
A bell chimed from lower in the house. “Come on down youngin’s! Suppers on!”
The four put their conversation on hold and raced down the stairs to the kitchen where Granny Smith was waiting for them at the stove.
“Ah don’t think we’ve met,” she addressed Alex with a critical eye. “Much like everypony else, ya can call me Granny Smith!”
“I’m Alex, Fluttershy adopted me,” Alex replied, nodding as he waited for everyone else to sit down. “Dinner smells great.”
Granny Smith chuckled, patting his side. “Ah know who ya are. Ah can’t rightly tell iffin’ yer skinny or not, so just eat whatcha can. Yer momma told us ya ain’t good with hay, so Ah whipped up some fish fer ya.”
“I appreciate the effort,” Alex replied, taking his own seat with a smile. “I would’ve been happy with apples and veggies.”
The sight of Big Mac made Alex roll his shoulder, feeling a thousand phantom aches from the stallion’s brutal sword swings. Mac nodded, his eyes lacking the life the rest of his family carried. He made it a point not to meet the red stallion’s gaze.
“Nonsense, wouldn’t be a right proper host if Ah took the easy way,” Granny Smith dismissed, waving a spoon in Alex’s direction.
An Apple dinner shared many similarities to a Shy dinner. The noise of hungry animals was substituted with the sound of laughter and boisterous conversation. Many questions were directed at him by the family, Granny Smith in particular. It was a sight to behold her rallying the family around her. Apple Bloom in particular seemed to hang on her every word.
Tucking into a slice of apple pie, Alex glanced around the table. “So... do you guys want to watch a movie?”
"Is this a movie from your world?" Scootaloo questioned, shooting up in her seat.
“Yes it would.”
"Ah know Ah'd love to watch somethin' if yer offerin'," Apple Bloom agreed, tucking into her own pie.
“Awesome. We can watch the Muppet Christmas Carol.”
"Pretty sure Ah only knew half those words," Applejack noted, gathering the empty plates. “What exactly is a moppat?”
"A muppet is a type of puppet. Created by one of the most talented people that ever lived back home." Alex carried his dishes to the sink. “They’ve sort’ve taken on a life of their own at this point.”
"Puppets? Didn't think you'd be into something so kiddy," Scootaloo commented, her muzzle scrunching up.
Whirling on his shorter friend, Alex flicked her ear. “Muppets are for all ages.”
"Then show it t'us and prove it," Apple Bloom challenged, and hopped off her chair. "Gotta be interestin' if yer cheerin' it on so much."
“Bet.” Alex retrieved his tablet from his backpack and returned to the living room.
In an effort to encourage family bonding, Discord had conjured up a few unique accessories for the device. Setting it on its stand, he connected a small projector and set up an enchanted screen.
Swapping the SD card, he glanced at the kitchen. “Alright! Ready when you guys are!”
Applejack came into the room, a tray of drinks and snacks on her back. “While y’all were fiddlin’ with yer movie, Ah got us some drinks and popcorn. Even made some caramel apple flavored popcorn fer the occasion.”
“Thanks.” Alex hopped onto the couch, waiting for others to join them.
Everyone gathered around, curiosity overtaking their faces. Alex managed a smile, sharing something that was special to him. Popping some of the caramel corn in his mouth, he started the movie.
Alex had to hold back a belch as he laid atop his sleeping bag. Applejack’s special caramel corn had proven to be a siren he could not steer away from. Besides his full stomach, he was satisfied with the fact the movie had been a huge hit. The Ghost of Christmas Future scene had gone over especially well.
“Still think muppets are kiddy?” Alex questioned, tossing a sock at Scootaloo’s head.
“No way, that was so cool!” Scootaloo chirped, shaking her head to let the sock hit the floor. ‘That scene with the ghosts in the chains was the best!”
“Damn right it was,” Alex agreed, snatching the sock up. “That should teach you to doubt me.”
“Nope, we’ll just doubt until proven wrong,” Sweetie teased, tossing a pillow at Alex with her magic.
Alex caught the pillow, rising to his feet. “Well then, I guess I’ll just have to whack the lesson it ya!” he advanced upon Sweetie, holding the pillow above his head.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo jumped to their own hooves, pillows hanging from their mouths. With a high pitched war cry, they flanked Alex with their fluffy weapons held high. Bloom swung at his chest, while Scootaloo aimed for his knees.
Smirking, Alex jumped back to avoid the blow to his knees while swinging his own pillow to knock away the one that Apple Bloom levied at him.
His confidence stumbled when a magic piloted pillow whammed into the back of his head. Whirling on a heel, he grinned at the giggling marshmallow.
"That's a declaration of war."
The first human-pony war lasted an agonizing twenty minutes before the great arbiter Applejack told the participants to settle down.
Clear Mind’s words came back to him. Did he still see himself as an adult? He certainly didn’t act like one just now. Nestling into his sleeping bag, Alex wondered if it even mattered. Growing up the first time, he rarely had moments like these, full of laughter and joy.
But he couldn't help but feel a tingle at the back of his mind. He couldn't just ignore the time in his previous life. Even if he did feel like his childhood wasn't a proper one. Sonata had told him you were only as old as you felt…
He turned in his sleeping bag, conflicting feelings swirling in a tempest in his head. There was no simple way to square everything away between his body and his mind. No, he was overthinking it.
Adulthood was out of his grasp for another four years. The man who had made his life hell wasn’t here. He’d use these four years to wring every ounce of joy a second childhood could bring. He owed himself that.
Snow crunched under Alex’s boot, the midday sun shining above. The girls had dragged him out into the orchard at Scootaloo’s insistence.
“I wanna see you fly!” she had said at the breakfast table.
Rubbing his hands through his gloves, Alex tried to consider how to tackle using Glide again. He had sort of just done it before. Was it emotion based? He’d been thinking about how to save Diamond Tiara and himself.
“You know that wasn’t actually flying right? It was falling with style.”
“Whatever it was, it was cool!” Scootaloo retorted, wings buzzing like a hummingbird. “Oh! We should see if you can touch clouds!”
Rubbing his chin, Alex considered the idea. “It’s something to try for but I’m not jumping out of trees. Fluttershy already tore one of her friends apart. I’d hate for her to murder Applejack because I broke an arm.”
“Probably wouldn’t help if we took the blame,” Apple Bloom offered with a weak chuckle.
Stopping under a tree, Alex looked up at the branches. “Okay. We’ll start small then. Kingdom Hearts had a lot of movement abilities, including Glide. How high would you say that branch is?” Picking one that locked sturdy, he’d wager it was about ten feet up the trunk.
“That’s about ten hooves up,” Apple Bloom said, eyeing the tree. “Probably twelve hooves high if Ah wanted to wager on an exact number.”
“Perfect, should be able to test this out without a lot of pain.” Bending his knees, he kept his eyes focused on the branch. Tensing he jumped, barely making it more than half a foot. “This... might take a while.”
Gathering up his strength, he tried to use a mental image of a spring to aid his jump and made it a whole foot on the second attempt.
“Okay. I don’t think this is working,” he muttered, glaring at the wood.
“Maybe you have to try it like you’re doing one of your spells?” Sweetie offered, tapping at his legs.
Scootaloo scoffed. “You have to think like a pegasus!”
Alex quirked a brow at that statement. “And how do I do that?”
Scootaloo paused, as if she had to stop and consider her own advice. After about half a minute she finally perked up and answered. “It’s kinda like your ear twitching when you feel the wind against you or being aware of little changes in air pressure. Or even knowing the smell of ozone to warn you that a cloud’s about to discharge.”
Ignoring how blatantly pony that chunk of wisdom was, Alex nodded. “Sounds like aero... but internal...” Closing his eyes, he walked through the steps he had undergone when Sonata awakened his magic. With the concept in mind, he jumped again.
He found himself laying on his back, the top of his head throbbing. “Oow...”
“Might wanna work on your aim,” Sweetie Belle said, offering him a hoof. “You were supposed to land on the branch, not go through it.”
Scootaloo glomped onto his chest, all smiles and cheer. “You did it! I’ve never seen anyone jump that high!”
Rubbing his head, Alex managed a grin despite the dull ache in his skull. “I guess we can still call that a success. Thanks for the advice, Scoots.”
Standing up, he brushed the snow from his coat. “Let’s try that again, shall we?”
Keeping his eye on the branch, he repeated his jump. His fingers overcame the sudden stop, wrapping around the limb. “Success!” Letting go of the branch, he safely landed on his feet. “I think I’m starting to get the hang of this stuff.”
The excited fillies herded him along, finding an open area by the barn. The perfect spot to test the rest of his abilities.
His newfound movement became the highlight of the day. Cries of excitement and exhilaration echoed throughout the snow covered trees. Despite the extra weight, all three fillies went along with his jumps and runs. Scootaloo appreciated the airtime far more than her earthbound friends.
Swinging his feet over the side of the barn's roof, Alex shared a giggle with his friends. He hadn’t had many of those in his old life.
“You know, if we just had sea salt ice cream, my cosplay would be complete,” he joked.
“What’s sea salt ice cream?” Apple Bloom questioned, her muzzle scrunching up her muzzle. “Ain’t ice cream supposed t’be sweet, not salty?”
Alex shrugged. “I have no idea. I just know the person I look like would eat it with her friends.”
“I think I’ll stick with gelato,” Sweetie joked, letting her front hooves dangle off the roof. “Rarity says too much salt makes a mare look bloated.”
Casting her a side eye, he reminded himself that salt affected equines differently. “We can think of a different thing to eat when we hang out.”
“Something that isn’t apples,” Scootaloo chimed in, cutting off Apple Bloom before she could make a suggestion.
“Milkshakes?” Sweetie suggested, molding a clump of snow into a little pony.
Apple Bloom snickered, poking Alex’s leg. “Ah know somepony Alex would like to share a milkshake with.”
Feeling his face heat up, Alex flicked her ear. “Oh that’s low, Bloom.”
“What, low pointing out that you and him are practically attached at the hip?” Sweetie pressed, a smirk crossing her mouth. “He swoons when you walk by, you know!”
“Oh yeah, and Rumble practically trips over himself whenever Scoots is on her scooter,” Alex retorted, hoping to deflect the heat.
Scootaloo scoffed. “Rumble’s a jerk. That doesn’t change anything though! You get all flustered when Snails is around.”
Her features turned, smug and conspiratorial. “Plus, I saw you two getting pretty close at the lunch tables.”
“I can leave you three up here,” Alex warned, his cheeks glowing red.
Sweetie gasped, leaning towards her friend. “What happened?”
Scootaloo hopped in place, catching herself before she slid off. “Snails kissed Alex! It must’ve been really good because Alex fell right out of his seat!”
Alex groaned, covering his face with his hands. He could only silently wish for a heartless attack as the conversation spiraled away from him.
Celestia settled into her place by the hearth, basking in the fire's warm glow. Stretching her wings out, she resigned herself to a lovely winter night. The only thing that could make the evening even better would be a mug of hot chocolate. If only her assistant Raven hadn’t persuaded her to limit her sweets.
Her ear flicked, heralding a gust from her window. A scroll materialized, quickly gripped in her magic. Unfurling it, a smile blossomed as her eyes devoured the words. This was going to be an interesting Hearth’s Warming.
