And may the love of Celestia watch over you.

by Phoenix Quill

First published

He's been running for years, and forgotten why. Now he's trying to find his home, only sometimes you just can't go back home again.

There once was a unicorn called Wordsmith, he was frozen in stone under a different name however. After spending weeks working for Discord as Wordsmith, he somehow managed to have his identity returned, along with the memories the name would entail.

Now Phoenix is trying to find his family to try to make amends, but there's some things that you just can't forgive yourself for.

Before you leave,

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Things were quite exciting on the day that the Airship Regale landed in docking bay ninety four of the Canterlot Airship Yards. Not in the sense of the extraordinary, just the usual excitement that a Friday brings to one of the biggest shipping yards in Equestria. Meaning, it was payday, and when a long overdue ship finally makes it to port, there's going to be some excitement to go around.

Amid all the hustle and bustle of ponies rushing to dock the ship and unload it's precious cargo, a blue unicorn and a gryphon disembarked from the ship, making idle chatter between themselves as they moved through the crowd. "So, are you sure that you are really going to be leaving the company now that we're back?" The gryphon said casually.

"Well You," Phoenix paused to readjust his satchel before continuing on down the path. "There's greener pastures for me to come. I don't suppose you remember that I was starting a new career at the Ministry of Practical Chaos, right?"

"Hmm," You replied in a casual way before nodding slightly. "I do remember you brought it up before we left, but are you sure that's the life you want to go after? You could make it far in the world of logistics."

Phoenix continued on to the main office building of the shipping yards, but nodded to the question. "Yeah, I'm sure. It's not that I don't like the work here, but rather it's the politics of the whole thing," he said as he looked up at the dock master's office space, high above the rest of the buildings in the shipyard.

You had the courtisy to at least act like he understood as he followed behind the unicorn. "I suppose I get it," he said with a frown. "But I have to admit, I'd grown rather fond of your company."

Phoenix was surprised to hear the statement, and his face froze in shock as he mulled over the proper response. For most of his life, Phoenix had the power over ponies to make them turn away from him, or use him as a means to an end and nothing more. With that said, he took what You said a little stronger than anypony else would. And You noticed. "Well," He finally said with a half smile. "You are a lot different than I imagined a changeling would be," he responded slowly and quietly. "And, I'm glad we met, despite the circumstances."

You grinned as best as his current body would let him, curving the beak back as he walked next to the unicorn to the office building to collect their payroll. The two of them didn't have to wait too long to collect their checks and headed off to go cash them at a nearby bank, it wasn't until Phoenix started to head home that he asked You if he wished to come over for drinks at his apartment.

He agreed, saying it would be nice to get more relaxed in a private setting before he headed off to whatever his next assignment would be, and the two were soon enough standing in a small studio apartment in the Broken Wing apartment building. "Well, here we are," Phoenix said with bravado as he shut the door behind him. "Make yourself at home."

You nodded, and was soon wrapped in flames as he changed into his natural form. "Thank you kindly Mister Quill, those feathers were starting to itch again."

"Eh, it is what it is," Phoenix replied before flopping onto his couch. "So, do you like spirits? I've got vodka in the freezer."

"No, it's fine," You said as he opened his saddle bag and started to dig around in it. "I've still got some of the bottled love I'd picked up before we left last month." He finally pulled out a small bottle, half filled with a light green colored liquid. He poured some of it out into a nearby glass and began to sip on it lightly.

The two of them sat in silence for a few moments, neither one sure of what to say or do next. Finally, Phoenix took up initiative to clear his throat. "Er, so... what comes next for you? Do you have to report to your queen, or, just keep working for the company?"

You frowned as he picked up a discarded book from the coffee table and flipped through it randomly. "Oh, well, I'm not too sure yet," he said without any emotion to his voice. "Queen Chrysalis had decided to let me do that job out of a show of good will to Celestia, but I don't think she'll want me on that venture for much longer." He paused to take another small sip from his glass, and Phoenix noted that his eyes lit up slightly when he did so. "I mean, the deal between our leaders is so, strange to me. But we don't gain anything on either side by having changelings going out in dirigibles. They have to supply us with so much bottled love, that it's a drain on the hive."

Phoenix was going to say something, even if it was a pointless thing to say on the subject, when a knock came to the door. "Oh no, what now?" You watched as Phoenix slumped across the room and opened the door. He only barely caught the sight of a pegasus mare in the uniform of a telegram company before he heard Phoenix groan out, "Oh, not again," before addressing the pony before him. "So let me guess, you're here because I'd burnt somepony on accident by being in stone for a year too?"

Phoenix, whether by accident or design, stood in such a way that he'd blocked You's view. Even though he tried his best to listen in, the pair spoke far too quietly for him to pick up anything out of the conversation. Finally, after a few moments of talk, Phoenix passed the mare a few bits and shut the door, holding a note in his magic as he shuffled across the room.

"So, not so good news I take it?" You asked in an unsteady tone. Phoenix simply nodded to reply before sitting down on the couch; he let go of the telegram from his magical grip, and picked up the glass of vodka, and was quick to slam it down with gusto. "What happened?"

Phoenix looked at the changeling, and gave a small grin, as if to show he was fine, but he couldn't hide that something was wrong behind the false smile. "Nothing much," he said calmly before pouring himself another shot. "Just a letter from my family."

The unicorn took the shot down, and leaned back in his seat to look up at the ceiling. He remained quiet for while, leaving You to pick up the note and glance over it quickly. It read as followed,

To be delivered to Phoenix Quill in pony.
Phoenix, we have been trying to contact you since you had left without warning. It wasn't until we saw your picture in the paper recently, that we discovered where you were hiding at. Please, return home at once, your mother is ill and wishes to see you one last time before it's too late.
Signed, Polished Shield.

You looked up from the note and saw that Phoenix had yet to move from his position. "What are you going to do now?"

"I think counting the flecks of popcorn dots on the ceiling would be great," Phoenix replied in a monotone voice. "I mean, I don't know, I don't want to go back there, but, I..." he trailed off and began rubbing his head with a hoof before slumping forward in his seat. "What would you do in my position?"

You leaned forward and tapped on the underside of his muzzle as he contemplated the question for a few moments. Finally, he gave a very simple answer. "I'd leave for home."

Phoenix gave a weary smile to his friend and got up from the couch. "I don't know how well you understand family my chitinous friend," he said as he began to walk around the room. "But my family has never been very, supportive of my decisions in life."

"That doesn't matter," You said, before downing the rest of his drink. "The way I view it, is that you have only got one family. If they went out of their way to find you, you probably should do what you can to go home."

"Home," Phoenix muttered to himself as he looked at his glass with a casual look of a pony that had lost interest in much anything at all. He took a small sip, then followed it up with a larger gulp that finished off the drink entierly. "I suppose that would be the right thing. But," he paused. Unsure of what to say, he sat there and leaned back.

Silence filled the room, neither sure of what to say. It took several moments of silence before Phoenix cracked slightly and spent some of his magic to activate the record player, filling the room with the light tickle of a piano. "Home," Phoenix muttered to himself before sitting up and looking the changeling in the eyes. Do you even know why I left?"

"I don't suppose you want to tell me now," You said with as much of a gentle smile as he could muster.

Phoenix thought it over for a moment before shaking his head. "No, I won't. Come on, I need to pack some things."

But when you return...

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It didn't take long for the pair to gather up some belongings, and they were both impressed with how quickly they were able to rent a wagon to travel with. It was a modest design with plenty of places to store the belongings, and still had two beds for them to sleep in as they took the trek from Canterlot to Hollow Shades. That being said, there was still an issue or two for them to clear up.

"What gives you the impression that I wish for you to come along with me?"

"Well," You said with a frown, "I think that it was somewhere along the line when you told me to help you pack, and when you had me get a wagon with two beds. Also, maybe when you said 'let's go'. Those might be reasons why I thought I was going."

"Okay okay," Phoenix said as he threw a bag into the wagon before slamming the door. He walked around to the front and began to harness himself up before dusting off his favorite top hat and putting it on. "But this I think is a personal matter, best handled by my, er, self."

You was disguised at this moment as a rather plain earth pony, and he gave off a rather blank looking thousand yard stare before shrugging, and immediately falling down into the dirt. "If that's how you feel about it," he said from the floor before getting back onto his hooves. "But I still want to help."

"And what could you possibly do to help?"


The city of Canterlot was now quite far away as the wagon bounced down the road, and Phoenix was bouncing in his bed as it swayed with the rest of the wagon. "Hey take it easy up there, I'm trying to take a nap back here!"

Phoenix heard You mutter something to himself before shouting back an apology and slowing down as he continued to travel down the mountain path. Happy with the results he laid down to get some sleep before the night would settle in. For if there was one thing that could be said about Phoenix, it was that he loved to be out and about at night, rather than during the light of day, and he needed as much rest as possible before he was ready to start.

It had only seemed like a few moments of sleep before he was jostled again by what felt like a dip in the dirt road. Phoenix was about to shout something when he noticed that the room of the traveling wagon had changed. "Okay," he muttered to himself as he looked around. The environment seemed familiar to him, but he couldn't place a hoof on where he was, until he saw himself sitting at a desk. "Alright," the dream version of him said. "Now if I kill off the main character, would that be a good choice or a bad choice..."

Before the version he was watching could decide, the door of the room burst open, showing a dark older stallion had bucked it open. "What in Celestia's Equestria is going on here?!" The younger version of Phoenix was gone now, instead it was just him in there now. Not watching the events, but living them all over again.

"Father, ah, I was just working on my-"

"Don't give me that," the unicorn said as he stomped in. "You were writing those useless stories again weren't you?"

"They aren't useless," Phoenix muttered as he looked at his typewriter. "It's my passion dad, can't you just let me," he was stopped as he let out a scream as his dad's magic grabbed him by the tail and pulled him high into the air, shaking him up and down a few times for good measure. "Dad! What are you-"

"You are a member of this clan, and in this family, we all back each other up, or we leave it." He then pulled Phoenix with his magic to the window and pointed at the town below him. "You see that town? Our ancestors came here, and helped build this town from nothing, we've been ledgers, accountants, bankers, police officers, judges, doctors and lawyers. Not fanciful writers!" He then slammed Phoenix down to the ground and gave him a dark look.

"Dad, it's not like how it used to be." Phoenix said as he got up off the floor. "Jobs aren't as easy to come by, you said it yourself that we are supposed to back each other up, why can't you help me?"

"If you had brains, you'd be dangerous," his dad said with a smirk. "You can always help out more in the store, quit being such a pilot fish and earn enough that you can move out."

"But, what about my writing?" After the question hit the air, Phoenix felt the air snap around him as his dad used his magic to slap him in the head.

"Oh, your stories?" His dad said with a frown. "Well, I suppose you won't find any more time for that." He then walked around the small room and grabbed the typewriter in his magic and smashed it on the floor. "Now clean up this mess, get your head out of your ass, and get down to the store! There's a mass of paperwork there and you've got a talent for writing that stuff out faster than anypony else."

He left, and Phoenix began to cry as he looked down at the smashed machine. "I hate him..." He looked at the broken door and tried to stop crying when he saw his brother walk past the door way, but failed miserably.

His brother looked into the room that they shared and shook his head with a frown. "Hey, dude, clean up your mess bro, I sleep here too."

Without another word, he was gone, and Phoenix just looked at the doorway, a mix of emotions in him began to brew before he stood up and opened a drawer. "That's how they are, fine, I don't need them." He dug into the drawer and pulled out a lone key. "I'll show them. I'll show them all."

Before he was aware of what he was doing, Phoenix was again watching himself as he watched the younger version of him take the key and head out of the house, the next thing he did, he knew he would regret to his dying day. He entered the basement of the house and put the key into a door in the back of the room. When he opened the door, he saw piles of gold bricks and several bags of bits on a table near the back.

Quickly, he grabbed a few bricks and shoved them into a bag he'd found on the floor, followed by a hoofull of bits and he quickly pulled the drawstring and turned for a hasty exit. All they care about is money, well let's see what they will miss more, me or the money I took.

"Don't do it," Phoenix said to himself, but of course the dream ignored him. He stomped his way out of the cellar and shut the door behind him."

Phoenix awoke with a start, once again back in the bed of the wagon, but this time he was sweating. "Are you okay Phoenix?" You shouted from the front.

"Fine," he replied as he rolled out of the bed. "Pull over, I think it's my turn to take over.


It took two more days of travel to get from where they started in Canterlot all the way to Hollow Shades, and surprisingly, the pair had run into no troubles at all, other than Phoenix continuing to be plagued by memories in his sleep. But finally, when they had arrived, Phoenix was disappointed by what he'd seen.

The town, which was always considered to be a small villiage, mostly made up of earth ponies and a few thestral ponies, and even fewer unicorns, was considered to be a modest business center. His family owned most of the shops and such through one way or another, but that was... he'd actually forgotten how many years ago now.

Now when he looked around, it was as if competition had finally driven his family to desperate measures. Instead of three moderately sized stores, there was one mega store in the back, and hundreds of smaller shops in an open air market. "Well, I guess I have been away for a long time," he muttered to himself as he began to walk through the town square with his head held low.

He'd only just entered the square when a spear was jabbed into the road right before him. "Halt right there criminal scum!" You and Phoenix both looked in the direction of the voice, and saw a brown earth pony royal guard trotting briskly up to the pair of them. "If I know my profiling, and I think I do, I see before me one of the biggest criminals to ever walk Equus before my eyes." He then looked at Phoenix and frowned deeply. "You rich, wine sucking, Canterotian son of a silver spooned snob with a horn. How dare you show your face here!"

Phoenix looked at the stallion, and with a neutral expression took his glasses off and polished them. "Well well, it seems that this mud pony here thinks that he can talk to somepony of my station."

At the words 'mud pony', every earth pony in the square, which was quite a lot, looked at Phoenix with instant hate and disdain. Ready to jump him at any moment. The royal guard looked at Phoenix with a stoic look for a few more seconds before bursting with laughter. "OH! Dang that was bad, you need to practice more if you wanna get into that with me again."

"How's it going Dusty," Phoenix said with a smile as the pair of them hugged quickly before backing off. "Haven't seen you since you kicked me out of that convention."

"Pretty good, pretty good," Dusty said with a smile. "You here for the annual mushroom festival?"

"Nah," Phoenix said with a frown. "I'm here for, personal issues." He looked up the hill to a rather imposing house.

"Oh, dude, what's going on?"

Phoenix frowned as he looked up at the house. "They found me, despite my best efforts. First thing they say is my mother is sick, and I need to see her."

"Then what in tartarus are you doing talking to me?" Dusty said as he shoved Phoenix lightly in the direction of the house. "Meet me when you're done, maybe we can get some drinks?"

"Yeah, sure," he replied numbly as he continued up the hill.

"Friend of yours?" You said as he walked next to Phoenix.

He nodded in reply as he opened the gate to the family home. "Yes, while not my best friend by any measures, he was the first one I found that had an interest in writing too." After a few moments, the cracked pavement that lead to the front of the house came to a turn about, and Phoenix unhitched himself from the cart and quickly walked up the stairs.

"Now You, behave yourself, I'll meet you at the tavern in town once everything's done here." he said in a hushed tone. You nodded and quickly made himself scarce as he headed back down the driveway. Phoenix nervously patted down his mane a few times before grabbing the door, only to find it locked. Oh, right, he thought to himself before ringing the doorbell.

He stood there awkwardly for a few moments, before finally the door opened to show the face of his father. He seemed older than he remembered, but Phoenix still jumped at the sight of him. "Hi, I got your message, where's mom, is there anything I can do for her? Will she be okay?"

His dad looked at him and his frown deepened. "She's dead." He said it simply, and with a deep amount of disdain as he looked at Phoenix before slamming the door in his face.