Rarara Reports

by VitalSpark

First published

Short stories about Rarity.

Just a bunch of little stories about Rarity.

Each chapter can be read as a standalone story. They will occasionally make reference to each other, but it shouldn't make much difference what order you read them in.

I'll keep adding more chapters when I think about them.

Rarara is Forced to do the Washing Up

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"Oh, the injustice," wailed Rarity.

"We all have to help around the house," said Hondo, looking up from the newspaper.

Rarity plunged her hooves into the hot water. "Just you wait! In another two years I'll be able to move out of this dump. I'll start my own boutique. I'll make fabulous dresses. I'll be on the front cover of every magazine. Hoity Toity, Trenderhoof, Sapphire Shores — they'll all be clamouring to wear my designs!"

"Sure, they will, darling," said Cookie Crumbles, filing her hoof.

Rarity slammed the clean saucepan onto the draining board, and picked up a teacup, wiping around the rim with a sponge before rinsing it off in the steaming water. "I will! And I won't have to do any housework!"

"No?" asked Cookie.

"No, I'll get a cat, and she can do all the housework."

Cookie looked confused. "I'm not sure that cats do housework."

"A dragon then," said Rarty, putting the last of the dishes on the draining board and pulling the plug out of the sink.

Hondo looked up from his paper again. "Aren't dragons a bit too big?"

Rarity towelled off her hooves. "A baby dragon!"

Hondo raised his eyebrows. "Why would a dragon want to do your housework?"

Rarity started up the stairs. "Because maybe he could see my potential! Dear Celestia, would you look at my wrinkled hooves?! I'm going right upstairs to…"

Emergency Edible Boots

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"So," asked Sweetie Belle, still curious, "why exactly do you need edible boots?"

Rarity smiled at her little sister. "Why, darling, for emergencies of course."

Sweetie was becoming increasingly frustrated. "I know, you said that already. But what kind of emergency necessitates the consumption of your own boots?"

Rarity thought back to that night long ago.

Rarity ran down the steps, hotly pursued by her friends, dozens of animals, and the most uncharming prince she'd ever met. She stumbled on the stairs and one of her glass slippers slipped off. (They're called "slippers" for a reason.)

"Ooh! Rarity," Pinkie Pie exclaimed, "your glass slipper! Now your prince is sure to find you."

Rarity shrieked. "No!" she cried before doubling back to find the slipper, and stamping on it until it was smashed into barely more than dust. "Let's go!"

"Sometimes, Sweetie, a lady just doesn't want to leave any trace of her footwear behind."

Dual Jewel Duel

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Amethyst Star and Rarity circled each other. "You give me back that gem!" growled the alabaster unicorn.

"I saw it first!" shouted the younger mare.

Rarity made a lunge to grab the jewel. "It's for Spike!"

Amethyst ducked away just in time. "That irritating little dragon? He's not worth the effort."

Rarity stopped in her tracks. Nopony disrespected Spike. "Oh… It. Is. On!" She jumped at Amethyst, who swiftly moved out of the way. "Rainbow fist punch!" shouted Rarity, her horn glowing. A rainbow-coloured beam shot out of Rarity's horn, at the end of it a glowing white fist. It smashed into Amethyst sending her flying backwards.

Amethyst picked herself up. "Two can play at that game!" Her horn started to glow. "Shiny Emerald Snake Strike!" A torrent of green snakes appeared and flew through the air at Rarity.

As quick as a flash, Rarity hollered, "Syrup Tsunami Shockwave!" A tidal wave of maple syrup materialized, sweeping away the serpents and drenching Amethyst Star in sticky mess.

"You messed up my shop!" Amethyst howled. "Now I'll mess you up! Dagger Crystal Heart Attack!" Dozens of razor-sharp heart-shaped crystals flew in Rarity's direction.

Rarity quickly levitated a table in their path and the sharp crystals embedded themselves in the wood. "Oh, you're worried about the mess, are you? Mystic Room Suck Transform!"

A black hole appeared in the floor and started sucking everything in. Rarity secured herself against a doorway as syrup, snakes, crystals, and most of the furniture got drawn into the hole. Amethyst clung onto a window frame for dear life. Rarity felt herself sliding towards the black hole and put a hoof to her horn to snuff out her magic.

Amethyst was next to react. "You… you… I don't even have words to describe you! Mega Narwhal Blast!" A platoon of small whales rocketed through the air at Rarity, their horns pointing straight towards her.

"Glitter Dragon Escalation!" shouted Rarity, just in time. A sparkling dragon made of pure energy lifted her up, above the strike range of the narwhals, and deposited her safely on the floor before disappearing. "Jellybean Hallucination Mist!" she shrieked.

Suddenly Amethyst was surrounded by a mist and she felt woozy. Everywhere she looked, jellybeans floated past. She forgot where she even was. She stared at her hoof. It looked like a jellybean. Should I lick it? Yeah, I'll lick it. She started licking her hoof.

Rarity took advantage of Amethyst Star's temporary confusion and reached into the mist to take the gem she wanted from Amethyst. She trotted to the doorway, a smile on her face and turned to look at the mare she was leaving behind. Should I break that spell?

As she walked out, Rarity fired up her horn. "Turbo Nuclear Butterfly Blast!"

⋄ ⋄ ⋄

A loud bang woke Spike. He yawned and stretched his arms. What a weird dream.

Gift

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As the last step, Rarity sewed on a pair of blue buttons. Perfect. She wrapped the present in purple gift wrap and tied a bow around it.

Trotting towards Twilight's Castle, she reflected on how much time she'd spent on this gift. Obviously, she was supremely talented at sewing, but this particular piece was so different to work on from her usual dresses, hats, scarves, and so forth. The stitching had been tricky and the materials she'd used were entirely different from usual fare. She had thrown away several aborted attempts, but the end result was just right — a special gift for a special friend.

Because what they had went beyond ordinary friendship. Rarity felt that their bond was much stronger than with her other friends — even Fluttershy, though she and Fluttershy had been friends for years.

Other ponies always claimed that Rarity was so generous, but in truth, she felt that whatever she gave to her friends, she received back ten-fold. She felt truly blessed to have her friends.

Rarity knocked on the castle door and waited.

Twilight Sparkle opened the door of her new castle. "Come in, Rarity," she said, standing aside so that Rarity could enter.

Rarity stepped inside. "Thanks, darling, is the birthday boy awake yet?"

Twilight laughed. "Yes, he was up at 5 in the morning. He couldn't wait. He's having his third breakfast right now. Go through — he'll be happy to see you."

Rarity trotted through to the kitchen. "Happy birthday, Spikey-Wikey," she squealed, seeing the dragon. She levitated the gift over to him.

"All right!" Spike cheered, ripping at the wrapping paper.

"Now remember," warned Rarity, "you're only getting one gift this year." There was an unspoken 'you remember last year, don't you?' attached to that.

Spike nodded, removing the last of the paper to reveal a box. He took the lid off and peered inside. "It's perfect. Thanks, Rarity!"

Spike yawned. "Night, Twilight." It had been a long day, and he was only a baby dragon.

Twilight tucked him into bed with his blanket and Rarity's gift. "Night, night, Spike."

Rarara's Mail

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Rarity awoke to a banging coming from outside. She reluctantly pulled herself out of bed and threw on her dressing gown to go and see what the matter was.

Outside the grey pegasus mail mare was having difficulty delivering a letter into her letter box, seemingly missing the slot every single time. "I just don't know what's going wrong!" she exclaimed upon seeing Rarity.

Rarity looked at the mail mare's eyes, which were pointing in different directions. She imagined the mare must have very limited depth perception. "Have you tried visiting an optometrist?" she asked, taking the letter into her field of levitation.

"Good idea," answered the mail mare before flying off and crashing into a nearby tree.

Rarity sighed and shook her head, carrying the letter inside. She sat down at the table and was about to open it, when she got the urge to make herself a cup of coffee first.

She put the letter down and went to put the kettle on. A couple of minutes later, she poured the hot water onto some ground coffee beans in a cafetière, and put the lid on, refraining from plunging the handle. She levitated the jug over to the table and went to get a cup and saucer. Everything ready, she sat down, pressed the handle, and poured herself a perfect cup of coffee.

She picked up the letter in her hooves and started tearing open the envelope when she heard a voice behind her. "Rarity! Can I have some coffee too?"

"Sweetie Belle, you know you're not allowed coffee. You remember what happened last time you drank it?" She raised an eyebrow.

Sweetie sighed. "Fine! Can I have some juice?"

Rarity put the envelope down and went to fetch her sister some orange juice. She levitated the glass over to the table, sat down, and picked up the envelope again.

"Ewww!" Sweetie Belle squealed, spitting a mouthful of juice back into her glass.

Rarity shook her head. "That is disgusting, Sweetie. Has living with me not had any influence on you at all?"

"It's got bits in it!" Sweetie screamed.

Rarity rolled her eyes and slammed the envelope back on the table. "Yes, bits of orange. You like orange."

"I don't like orange in orange juice though," her sister whined.

Rarity sighed. "That makes no sense whatsoever. Look… just pretend it doesn't have bits in it."

"Pret—"

"Where's your imagination, Sweetie?"

Sweetie groaned. "Okay." She sat drinking her orange juice with sour look on her face. Any passing pony would think she had been asked to drink mud.

Rarity picked up the letter again and finally managed to get the envelope open. "Oh, look! It's from Coco!" she exclaimed. "She's coming to visit!"

Sweetie put down the half-full glass of juice. "Cocoa? I can have cocoa?"

Rarity stood up, sighing. "Fine. Okay, I'll make you some cocoa…"

Sweetie grinned before a look of horror came to her face. "No lumps!"