What nopony knows is that all of Rarity's acts of generosity are solely to give her the lift that doing something good always brings. Underneath is a spiral of endless depression that has finally driven her to the irreversible. She's planned, and she's ready. She's about to welcome death with open hooves.
Major character death and elaborate suicide within. Read responsibly.
Waving goodbye to everypony, Rarity pushed open the window of her seat and called out to them. "Goodbye, darlings! Don't forget that I will be back in the Boutique on Monday! Come see me then! Oh, and Sweetie Bell," she beckoned to her little sister, "don't forget to be a pleasant guest at Applejack's!" The train had begun to depart, so she closed the window again with a sigh and sat back in her chair. Taking her sketchbook out of her bag, she started at the page with a pencil.
This was going to be a long trip to Manehattan and back.
Finally, the train back in Ponyville, Rarity stuck her head out the door cautiously, looking about for her friends and anypony who might recognize her. Satisfied, she stepped off the train, straightening the hooded parka she was wearing to keep herself covered. One simply must always be fashionable, even deep undercover.
The brisk trot back to the Boutique was dark and quiet, since night had fallen since she'd left, and nopony had come across her path, luckily. Ducking into her store, she checked once again for anypony who may have seen her before locking the door behind her and setting to work.
Come morning, after her tea, Rarity sat down at her drawing desk with a roll of parchment, a quill, and two full wells of ink.
"Let's see, how did the mayor say it had to go...? Ah, yes!" With a glimmer of her cornflower blue magic, she set to writing.
I, Rarity, of Ponyville, being of sound and disposing mind, do hereby make, publish and declare the following to be my Last Will and Testament, revoking all previous will and codicils made by me.
The hours passed unendingly for her, but she finally had bequeathed everything she could to everypony she felt needed it. Signing the bottom in the most elegant script she knew, she folded and stamp-sealed the parchment with a wax seal of her cutie mark.
"Now that that is finally done, I simply must leave everyone a note. I couldn't possibly leave them wondering..."
I am terribly sorry that I must leave you like this, and at such a young age. I've left you everything you can possibly ever need in my Will, and I will be sure to keep watch over you from wherever it is ponies go when we leave Equestria. Please do try not to be too sad over me, my precious little rhinestone. You must stay strong and continue to be the most beautiful little filly in all of Equestria. Your big sister is happy where she is now, and she wants you to be happy, too.
Please don't cry over me, darling. I have always loved you, and I shall continue to do so as I watch over you and everypony else. Thank you for everything you have ever given me, including your most beautiful and precious undying love. I hope not to take it with me, as the are many other ponies who are more deserving of your gentle heart than I am now, since I have hurt it so.
The day will come when you will find a pony who can uphold the element of generosity even better than I ever could. Not all is lost. Please, do continue to spread the knowledge of friendship everywhere you go and open the eyes of every new pony you meet. That is all I can ask of you now.
There is no one more honest than you to tell the others that none of this is any of their faults, including yours. I want you to know that I admired your ability to have the most undying faith and honesty even in the worst of situations. I know we bickered, but you garnered much of my respect, and that is something I think you should take pride in. I will never forget you.
Don't forget to be brave now. Everypony else needs you to be the bravest you've ever been today, and for those that will follow. I am sorry to waste such beautiful loyalty on somepony who leaves you one day to wonder why. You're the kind of pony every pony should know.
I know you can't be happy today, or perhaps even tomorrow, or the day after, but I'll need you to get back up on your hooves when you're ready. Everypony will need the cheer and love and happiness that you bring after today. You will be the centerpiece holding their hearts together once they've been broken. Keep everypony friends for me, and I'll be your friend from above.
Her notes and will laid out on her drawing desk, Rarity set to work on her new silky black dress. Her design was utterly perfect; slight ruching on the midsection, a beautiful lacy corset back, a gently curved halter top, and a medium length skirt that ended in a train of luxurious black silk. She'd triple-checked the measurements and carefully made sure that every seam had been artfully hidden to create a flowing, uninterrupted piece to go out in.
Her mannequin was already adorned with a set of hoof covers that sparkled silver, a diamond inlaid on the outside of every one, and a black, medium-wide brimmed hat that was decorated with crystals tapered to the outside of the brim, casting a beautiful, ethereal glow. Slipping the dress on hooves-up, she pulled the corset tight and tied it in an elegant bow.
Stepping back to admire her handiwork, Rarity nodded to herself satisfactorily. "Perfect."
Three days ago, Rarity had closed up the Carousel Boutique, giving an excuse that she had gone out of town. Two days ago, she had penned her will and notes to everypony. Yesterday, she'd finished the last outfit she'd ever make.
Staring up at the black, flowing, lacy, gently ruched dress she'd made for her burial, Rarity didn't have to hold back tears. For three days she'd cried, and that had been enough. She wouldn't have to cry today. Nopony would have to fix her makeup for the viewing-- like she'd ever let anypony even try to make her as pretty as she could herself. Her mane and tail were perfect and sprayed over with enough hairspray to keep the curls tight and pretty until the lid went down on her coffin.
Gently unlacing the dress, she carefully slipped it off the mannequin, wrapping herself in it delicately and let her magic tie up the corset down the back just ever so tight. Moving with heavy hooffalls, she stood in front of her full body mirror, straightening the ruching with a level of precision only her eyes could see. With a glimmer of her horn, a hat sitting on her sewing desk drifted gracefully over and settled atop her head. The cornflower blue aura worked at the crystal adornments atop the rim, making sure they were all primly in line with each other.
Glancing over herself once more, she decided that she'd need just a little more blush to color her cheeks if her fur lost its natural luster before the viewing. Luckily, the blush lay on the floor beside the mirror where she'd left it earlier in the morning and she picked it up with her magic, moving the brush slowly and fully through the pigment before tapping off the excess and gliding the soft bristles over her cheek fur delicately, careful only to apply the very least she could get away with-- she wouldn't want to look gaudy at her own funeral.
Perfect.
Satisfied, she trotted purposefully over to the back of the boutique, where she'd laid out the coffin she had bought for herself years ago. After all, she couldn't have just anypony picking her coffin! What if it was tacky? She couldn't let herself rot in any old tacky box, no. This coffin was simply beautiful. Fit for a pony with such a graceful fashion sense as herself. The lining was silver silk with crystals embedded into the fabric around the edges, adding a glimmer that was just enough to be pleasant. The outside, beautifully varnished dark oak, was embellished with borders of real silver, a few carefully cut sapphires adorning the corners.
"Ok..." She let out a settling breath, turning on one hoof to take stock of everything she'd prepared. "Everything looks right. Let's see... Notes written, everything tidied, will written, and dress on. Oh--" she gasped, horn sparkling and levitating a bouquet of white roses over to her, which she laid on the closed half of the lid, "there. Much better."
With a contemplative sigh, she glanced down at the bottle of pills sitting at the base of the coffin-- her antidepressants. She'd stopped taking them a week ago when she'd decided to go through with her long-awaited plans, to make sure she had enough to actually overdose. The bottle was practically full, fortunately. Unscrewing the cap with her magic, she picked up a frosted wine glass of chardonnay that sat beside it. Why not go pleasantly, with a good taste on her tongue? Not to mention that the alcohol was a backup plan to react with the drugs.
Her magic's grasp on neither the bottle nor the glass wavered, as she was willful and determined in the matter. Bringing the bottle to her lips, she tipped some pills into her mouth, then swallowed them with a bit of the chardonnay. She repeated this precisely five times, then drained the glass and let it and the bottle drift over to the table to rest beside her will and notes. Careful not to stumble, she stepped into the silver hoof covers that rested beside a small step ladder leading up to the lip of the coffin. Checking their fit, she nodded to herself and began to slowly climb the ladder.
Stepping into the soft, cool silk, she sat gracefully and nudged her hind legs beneath the closed half of the lid and laid back. Adjusting the ripples of the dress with her magic to pool beautifully around her, she straightened the hat with her hooves to assure it laid correctly when her head rested on the small goosefeather pillow at the head of the coffin. Her mane and tail had arranged themselves perfectly despite all the scrabbling she had to do.
Letting her eyes fall on the image of her cutie mark meticulously painted on the inside of the lid, she took a few deep, relaxing breaths. This was it. All she had to do was breathe deep and slow, and she'd fall asleep like nothing had happened. The drugs would stop her heart, and she wouldn't wake up. Crossing her hooves over her midsection, she continued her breathing exercise.
