> Hyperventilate > by The Isapie > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Checklists > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hyperventilate By The Isapie Chapter 1 Checklists There was much to do. For one, Twilight had to tell Pinkie that they were giving her a surprise birthday party. Or Rarity. Or Applejack. Or Rainbow Dash. Or even- "I'M NOT DOING IT!" -Well, not Fluttershy then. So Twilight had to tell Pinkie. The last time the group had tried to give Ponyville's resident party pony a surprise birthday party, Pinkie nearly ended up in Canterlot Asylum. That was her not-so-sweet sixteenth. Since then, five years had passed. Five years of Pinkie planning her own birthday, and her friends giving her massive gifts that she refused to accept, but accepted anyways. Sugarcube Corner now had two ice-cream machines, a spare oven and three icing sets that they hadn't even touched yet. So naturally, the remaining Elements of Harmony wanted to give their youngest member a special surprise on the day she became a real mare. Twenty-one was a big number, and an important one too. It meant that a mare was of marriageable age, which meant in that particular era that this mare should have a special somepony. But Pinkie was Pinkie. She defied all rules of pretty much everything, which probably meant old traditions as well. So her friends didn't bother her about finding a coltfriend. The remaining five Elements were gathered in Twilight's throne room in her castle. "I've prepared a checklist," she announced, pulling out the aforementioned checklist. Rainbow Dash grimaced. "Really, Twi? A checklist for everything, I swear that's all you eggheads ever do." She even hovered up as to not get hit by another cascading piece of parchment that stretched three kilometres long. Thankfully, the list was barely just the size of a standard 8-and-a-half-by-11 piece of paper. Twilight looked at the top thing on her list: tell Pinkie we're doing a party for her. She smiled as she remembered her confrontation with Pinkie Pie earlier that day. Around nine-thirty that morning Knock knock knock "Yes? Who iiiiiiiiis it?" Trilled Pinkie happily as she rolled up her yoga mat from her morning exercise. Probably Mrs. Cake asking if she could run and get some eggs, or Mr. Cake asking desperately if she could track down the twins. She didn't mind either of those chores anywho! In fact, the pony knocking on her loft door was the one she'd expected the least to be knocking at such an hour: Princess Twilight Sparkle, the youngest princess of Equestria. "Good morning, Pinkie Pie," greeted Twilight cheerfully, but clearly nervously. Pinkie decided to humour Twilight a bit. "Good day to you too, Your Grand Majesty, Princess Twilight Sparkle!" She announced gravely, sweeping into a deep bow. Gummy popped out of her hair, blinking his own "Good morning" to Twilight, who flinched. "Pinkie, you don't have to call me princess," she reminded gently. Pinkie popped right back up, giggling "Of course, Twilight silly! You told us from the very start that you didn't want us to call you princess! It made you feel awkward! And I don't want my friends to be awkward around meeeeeeeeeee!" She smushed her nose against Twilight's before sitting down in a clump, letting some of her hair fall straight. "But when you came in, you said 'Good morning, Pinkie Pie,' which you never say unless you feel nervous! And when I was doing my morning practice earlier," sniffed Pinkie, "My hair was sproing-y and floppy, which means one of my friends is feeling not like herself! So I had to remind you that I'm just your friend, Pinkie, so I called you princess so you'd remember that you don't hafta feel awkward around me!" She finished, returning to her previous bouncy mood and giving a massive, genuine grin to Twilight. "Although it kinda puts me in a bootstrap paradox," she suddenly said, "or does it?" Twilight shook her head. "Pinkie, I came to tell you something very important. It's April 30th. That means it's just three days until your birthday," she began. Pinkie nodded. "Uhuh! On May the third. Mama always said she'd never have a filly or colt on a holiday, because that filly or colt wouldn't get the best of their birthday. That's why I was born the day before..." She suddenly pulled a lightsaber out of her hair and donned a brown cloak. "STAR WARS DAY!" She bellowed, before breaking into song. "STAR WARS, DADADADA STAAAAAAR WARS, DADADADA STAAAAAAR WARS, DADADADA..." Twilight sighed and cast a brief silencing spell on Pinkie, who continued to happily hum the Star Wars theme. "That's not the thing, Pinkie. On your sixteenth birthday, the girls and I tried to throw you a surprise birthday party, but you kinda went cuckoo," continued Twilight. "Well, you're turning twenty-one this year, so I thought maybe we could throw you a surprise birthday party, but tell you in advance so you wouldn't go..." Twilight paused. "...cuckoo again." Pinkie's cloak fell apart and landed in a heap around her on the floor. Gummy fell out of her hair and the lightsaber crystal out of the handle. Even her face fell. "But then it won't be a surprise party!" She blubbered. Twilight smiled. "It still is, Pinkie. You see, you only know there's going to be a party. You don't know what it's going to be like. That way, it's still a surprise party," she reasoned. Pinkie's grin came flying back onto her face as she wrapped Twilight in a massive hug. "Thank you, Twi. Thank you so much," she whispered, a few happy tears coming out of her eyes. This was going to be her best birthday ever... Back to present day "I'm so glad this is going to work out," sighed Twilight as she checked off the first box. Sadly, there were five more to be marked as complete. Twilight sat up straight, her eyes burning with fire and her wings spread for emphasis. "Girls, gather around. We've got a party to plan." > Invite Them All > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hyperventilate By The Isapie Chapter 2 Invite Them All Rainbow Dash was not happy. Okay, it was for Pinkie's birthday. Her partner-in-pranking. That automatically made the job about twenty percent more important. But flying around Ponyville and the neighbouring areas with a massive sack of invitations? Not fun at all. Her first stop was Twilight's castle. The princess of friendship had decided to honour her beloved Golden Oaks Library by converting the main courtroom and a few minor rooms into one of Equestria's biggest libraries. With a few restoration spells(and some help from Princess Celestia), a few donations and the whole of Ponyville volunteering, the castle had new life breathed into it within a week. This meant that pretty much all of Ponyville had seen the library while it was under construction, and knew exactly where to go for specific books. Rainbow found Roseluck in the gardening section, taking a magically elongated stool to reach a book on the cultivation of evening primroses. It also meant that at all times, there'd be ponies available in the library. Which, by all means, was good for Rainbow. Twilight's instructions had been brief, but extremely taxing. "Invite everypony in Ponyville that Pinkie knows." Sadly, Pinkie knew everypony in Ponyville. According to most recent calculations, there were about 1,500 ponies living in the sweet little town that Rainbow now called home. That meant that Twilight insisted on making 1,600 invitations, to include Pinkie's family(living just over a kilometre away from Ponyville) as many of their old friends as possible, and of course the other princesses. Rainbow could just imagine Pinkie bickering with Twilight about inviting Sunset Shimmer. Almost. At least she didn't have to invite anyone from on the other side of the mirror. That was way outside her limits. Thankfully, the library was currently being visited by Cheerilee's class, who were busily pulling out books to read. Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were stacked, one on top of another, on top of a magical stepladder, just to reach a single book the size of half a bale of hay that rested on the highest shelf. "I'm almost...there..." Strained Scootaloo desperately, her wings fluttering just a bit to get her hooves on that one book. Rainbow Dash chuckled to herself after making sure that the fillies wouldn't fall off the ladder, stepping into Twilight's personal office to use the P.A. system there. "HEEEEllo," she screeched into the microphone. (Outside the office, three particular fillies who were on a stepladder fell off out of surprise, from being within three metres of the nearest speaker.) Rainbow tapped the microphone twice. "Testing, testing, one two three. Good morning, Ponyville library occupants! Your head weatherpony Rainbow Dash speaking. I'm here on behalf of Princess Twilight Sparkle. If I weren't, I wouldn't be here, and I'd probably be up in my cloudhouse, having a mug of apple juice and reading some comics. Please head towards the centre...uh, what did Twilight call it again? The roundhouse? Rotunda, right. The table at the centre rotunda. I have some very important information to give out." As fast as she could, Dash burst out of the office to land gracefully on top of the table, except the bag she'd been carrying, with all one thousand, six hundred invitations, flipped her around, and even so, she managed to land nicely on the floor. "Hello, Ponyville citizens!" She announced, puffing out her chest like she was at Wonderbolts Academy. "As you all probably know, today is April the thirtieth. Three days from now, on May the third, the Elements of Harmony are holding a birthday party for our resident Element of Laughter, Pinkie Pie." Rainbow felt a laugh trying to come out of her chest for being so... Formal, but managed to swallow it down. "The Princess Twilight Sparkle has requested that I send out invitations. But under certain circumstances!" "First, and foremost, none of you may speak of this to the Element of Laughter herself. This is very important, as she believes that this party is being just held between the Elements of Harmony. "Second, all of you must attend. This is, I repeat, a mandatory event! All details will be in the invitation I am handing out now, and the two circumstances I have just listed, as well as the punishment for not following them. Thank you, and have a nice day." With that being said, Rainbow stoically handed out all of the invitations. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, just recovering from their fall, came forwards. "I don't think I really need one, Rainbow Dash. Rarity's gonna come too, so I don't need an invitation," said Sweetie Belle meekly. Rainbow shook her head. "Balderdash. Rarity's little miss priss. Of course she's gonna make you come, but she's also gonna go beauty-zilla over me if I don't give you an invitation." Apple Bloom graciously accepted hers. "Ah know ah'm a little clumsy at times, and ah misplace things of'en, but ah swear ah'm gonna remember this," she insisted. A jingle went up into the air, and one could hear a mare's voice outside yelling "FRESH MUFFINS!" Sweetie Belle's expression turned urgent. "Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, we need to hurry. Mrs. Cake's made new muffins, and she forgot not to ring the bell! And now Derpy's discovered them!" The earth pony filly and the unicorn filly galloped at high speed out the door. Scootaloo turned to Rainbow Dash. "Quick, invitation!" Said the pegasus filly desperately. Rainbow Dash handed her honorary little sister an invitation and shoved her towards the door. "Good luck, Scoots!" Called Rainbow after the disappearing figure of the daredevil filly. The library was now deserted. Rainbow Dash took a look around and made sure of that. Then, she suddenly dropped on the floor. Twilight would wonder, years later, why the P.A. system had a recording of Rainbow Dash laughing her lungs out. "That was terrifying," gasped Rainbow Dash to herself. "Too many ponies to hand out stuff to. I need a way to do this in ten. Seconds. FLAT!" She'd made her way out of the library about half an hour after she started her laughing fit and was now lazily lying on a cloud she'd secured from over Sweet Apple Acres. Thankfully, it could sustain the weight of her still-heavy mail sack. "How should I do it in a way that'll be easier than handing them out by hoof?" She thought aloud, staring into the open sky she knew as her domain. "It should be...awesome! Epic! Radical!" At "Radical!" she burst into the air with a radiant spin, a tiny rainbow twister trailing behind her. The pegasus observed this and smirked to herself. "Like that," she drawled, floating down to lay on her cloud patch again with her eyes closed. As she thought about her previous statement, however, she quickly realized something, and her eyes snapped open. "I'VE GOT IT!" And with a buck so hard she destroyed the cloud, Rainbow Dash flew off, dragging her overweight charge behind her. "Am I ready? Of course I am." Rainbow was now standing on a small cloud she'd taken from Sweet Apple Acres(a new one) that was hovering over Ponyville's Town Hall. Thankfully Pinkie was out for the day, and she wouldn't be back in town until well after all the invitations were cleared. Rainbow had spread all the invitations on the cloud, and currently pulling her flight items out of her mailbag. "Mane tie, check. Mane tied, check. Goggles, check. Cool flappy-red-scarf, check. Looking awesome, check." Rainbow wasn't about to do this without looking awesome, of course. Rarity had given her a Wonderbolts fashion magazine once, and she had to admit, getting a little fancy at times could be nice. But just a little. With a powerful wingbeat, Rainbow hoisted herself into the air. "Operation Whirlwind is a-go," she murmured to herself before beginning to fly in circles around the cloud. Soon enough, she'd generated a small twister, with all the invitations inside it. Rainbow dared to look back for a moment. Her plan had worked! Her mane and tail colours were blending into the twister, colouring it into what seemed like a food processor full of Zap Apples. She looked down, spotting ponies she knew and ponies she didn't know looking up at her and pointing at the glorious rainbow tornado behind her. She even saw Applejack, Rarity and Twilight, all looking up at her with a mixed expression, like I don't know what to say right now. Rainbow pressed on, flying in larger circles, and when she determined her tornado was of large enough size, she smirked. "Time for Phase Two." Rainbow burst out of the tornado, which miraculously stayed put, and started to fly upwards at top speed. Twilight's eyes widened. "She wouldn't!" Gasped the alicorn. Rarity grimaced. "She just did, darling." Rainbow kept flying until she saw naturally generated clouds. "Phase Three," she muttered as she stopped and started to dive. From all the times Rainbow had tried to do a sonic rainboom, she'd learned that if she put both hooves forwards, she had a higher chance of pulling it off. Now, she pushed both her hooves in front of her, feeling the familiar buildup. "No, Rainbow!" Yelled Twilight. Rainbow didn't care. She didn't care at all. With a mighty heave, she burst forwards, a ring of rainbow light cascading out from behind her. The moment she struck the cloud, it exploded in a massive wave of rainbowness and invitations, which began to float down, now stained rainbow, to Ponyville and its citizens. "Where's Rainbow Dash?!" Demanded Twilight as she took to the sky. Rarity shielded her eyes and Applejack took off her hat. They all knew the terrible dangers of actually managing a sonic rainboom. The last time, Rainbow Dash had spent nearly a month in the hospital. Everypony was worried. "So, Rainbow Dash, what have you learned today?" Rainbow Dash grunted. "Not to pull off a sonic rainboom from anywhere within two hundred metres altitude from any pony settlement," she muttered, "and not to listen to anymore of your lectures." The good news was, Twilight had found Rainbow alive, albeit crashed, about a hundred metres away from Zecora's hut. The bad news was that Rainbow had crashed. After actually pulling off the rainboom, she lost control and smacked into a tree, losing consciousness. She left a rainbow contrail, though, and it was this trail that Twilight had followed to Zecora's hut, where Rainbow was currently recuperating. As well, Rainbow had broken her wing. But no biggie; Twilight and Zecora compared remedies and discovered that they could heal Rainbow's wing in three days. She'd be alright for Pinkie's birthday. "I think I've learned something else, too, Twilight," murmured Rainbow weakly as she touched one of her bandages and winced. Twilight turned around from the book she'd been reading. "Oh?" "I've learned that finding an easy way to do things may not always be the best," she admitted. "I thought that if I got the invitations out to everypony fast enough, it would be best. But noooooo." Twilight smiled. "Well done, Rainbow. I think you've learned a lot today. For now, just relax and don't worry about a thing. For the remedy Zecora and I cooked up to work, you need to relax your wing," she said as she stroked Rainbow's back absentmindedly, sending the pegasus back into a deep sleep. "Rarity, can you bring the ointment I need? And Applejack... Where has she gone?" > Let Her Bake Cake > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hyperventilate By The Isapie Chapter 3 Let Her Bake Cake Sweet Apple Acres quite lived up to its name. It was sweet, had apples, and stretched for acres and acres by Ponyville and on the edge of the Everfree Forest. It was ever renowned for its amazing apple cider each year, and its related apple products and infamous Zap Apple jam. So why in tarnation could Applejack not find anything to do with baking a pink velvet cake on its grounds? Twilight's instructions were simple: just bake a birthday cake for Pinkie. She remembered that on her twenty first birthday, Pinkie went a little outside her comfort level of cakes and cupcakes to bake her a massive apple pie. So naturally, AJ had to go outside her comfort level to bake Pinkie a cake. First problem: she'd never baked a cake that didn't have anything to do with apples in her life. Rarity had pointed this out when they'd talked together that morning, back at Twilight's castle. Earlier that day "Okay, since we know Rainbow is delivering invitations, I need someone to bake Pinkie a cake, preferably a pink velvet cake, since that's her favourite," said Twilight grimly as she checked off a box on her tiny list with a quill. "Ah guess Ah could try," volunteered Applejack. Rarity stared at her in surprise. "Really, darling?" Asked the diva skeptically. "You've never baked anything that doesn't have apples in it, as far as I'm concerned. Why, I could have a go at it myself and try out that new recipe that I found while looking for low-calorie foods. Oh, what I'd do for a figure like Fluttershy's." "You're fine, Rares. I think AJ should bake it, though," pressed Rainbow Dash. "Rares, you don't have as much baking experience as she does. AJ's been baking since she was a little filly!" Applejack nodded. "Ah really can't say that y'all are bad bakers, it's just that Ah was taught by Granny Smith herself. And yall've tasted her pies." Twilight snorted. "Alright, case closed. Applejack's baking the cake. Rarity, I have a better job for you." END FLASHBACK At least if she needed help, she could always visit the Cakes, who were thankfully still in town. But that always brought up her second problem: the embarrassment of having to ask for help with the cake. She was a seasoned baker. She could handle a little cake! "Let's see...Probably gonna need ta git some cream, and a few eggs. How should Ah decorate the cake, though? Pinkie's got such a great relationship with all the rest of us...We're a durned tight-knit group." Just like the inspiration Rainbow Dash would have later that day, she suddenly jumped straight up into the air. "That's it!" She gasped as she picked her hat off the floor. "Ah'll make one with lil' apple decorations showing the story of how we found them Elements of Harmony!" And, just like Rainbow Dash would do later that day, she ran off to grab a cloud. "Let's see...Ah'm gonna need to bake a mighty massive cake to tell the entire story of the Elements, so Ah'm gonna hafta double this recipe. Oh hey, Apple Bloom!" Greeted Applejack happily as she tore her eyes off her kitchen to look at her flour-covered little sister. "AJ, before y'all ask, this wasn't mah fault. Mrs. Cake rang the bell for muffins, and Derpy was walking by," defended the red-maned filly. "Ah didn't want this to happen, but we had to hide the muffins somehow. So they gave them to me, and all Ah could do was just stand there as they shoved me into a closet and piled three bags of flour around me." Applejack smiled. "It's alright, Bloom. Just git yerself washed up and help me git the cloud indoors." "Why would we get a cloud indoors?!" "We're baking a cake, Apple Bloom. And it ain't gonna be pretty." "Gonna need ta add in about a kilo of flour, and pop in that jug of cream. Oh, mighty Princess Celestia, Ah'm plumb tuckered out. Now for them eggs, the ones we beat by hoof, and now the sugar. Lotsa sugar." "AJ, what about the strawberry sauce you just simmered down?" "We'll pour that in now. Apple Bloom, pass the cloud, and the spatula." The sisters were in the kitchen, trying to work out the cake. So far, it had been successful(except for the strawberry sauce, which had exploded, thankfully in the pot) and Applejack was looking forwards to a gorgeous pink velvet cake. "Pass. The. Cloud," hissed Applejack under her breath as she stirred the massive pot of cake batter with both her front hooves on the spatula. Apple Bloom cautiously placed pieces of the cloud into the pot, so Applejack could stir them in evenly. "Good. Ah think we're good," sighed Applejack after stirring the clouds in. "What'll we do with the leftover cloud?" Asked Apple Bloom curiously. "Ah dunno, just toss it in the garden or somthin. Ah'm gonna go wash mah hooves." Apple Bloom waited until her older sister had trotted up the stairs to wash her hooves, then dumped the remaining chunk of cloud in and with expert hooves, managed to fold it into the batter, just in time before Applejack came back downstairs. "Now let's bake! Two hours should be good!" Exclaimed Applejack. Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. "AJ, have y'all read instructions on this?" "Eh. No need. Granny don't read no cookbook, so why should Ah?" "What..in...tarnation...happened to it?" The two of them, along with Big Macintosh and Granny Smith, were standing by the oven and staring at what appeared to be the cake. Turns out that clouds can collect yeast, and too much cloud can cause a cake to puff up like a mushroom. "Well, at least it's the right colour!" Tried Apple Bloom. Granny Smith patted Applejack on the back. "You did your best, sonny," soothed the older mare, "But if Ah had ta guess, y'all put in too much cloud. The stuff is amazing, but can be...horrific." "Speaking of horrific, what's that?" Asked Big Macintosh suddenly, pointing at a rainbow swirl over Ponyville. Applejack's eyes widened. "She wouldn't," uttered the mare urgently before running off. "AJ!" Yelled Apple Bloom after her sister, almost trotting after her, until her grandmother held her back with a firm hoof. "Apple Bloom, Ah have a feeling we need ta let yer sister handle this 'un." "Well, at least the town is safe," murmured Applejack as she trotted back to Sweet Apple Acres tiredly. Rainbow Dash was fine, the invitations had been handed out, and Pinkie Pie hadn't jumped out of nowhere because of her Pinkie Sense. Thankfully the citizens weren't harmed at all. "SURPRISE!" "WHAT IN TARNATION?!" Applejack was staring at what used to be her gorgeous mushroom cake. Held by her family. And trimmed into the fine figure of Pinkie Pie. "What did y'all do to it?" Gasped Applejack. Granny Smith tilted an eyebrow. "Isn't this what ya wanted, sonny?" Applejack shook her head and tried not to touch the cake. "Ah was gonna make it into the story of how we met Pinkie and became the El'ments of Harmony!" Whispered Applejack. "But now y'all've gone and ruined that. Thanks a lot." And with that furious remark, Applejack ran off, leaving her family completely astounded. As a little filly, whenever she was sad, Applejack would find a place where she could see the sky. It would remind her that there was a way out of every rough corner. When she went to Manehattan, it would be her bedroom window. In Canterlot, it would be Princess Luna's star-gazing tower. In Twilight's castle, it would be the balcony in the branches. But at home at Sweet Apple Acres, it was the top story of the barn. She could look out the window, seeing the sun on the horizon and knowing that tomorrow was dawning upon her. Or she could lie in the hay and gaze out to enjoy the moon and the constellations appearing in the night sky. Wherever she was, as long as she could see the sky, she knew there would be a way to happiness. "AJ?" This, of course, did not go unnoticed by her extremely observant younger sister. "AJ, I'm mighty sorry. It was all mah idea!" Said the filly, breaking in and bursting into tears. "I wanted to help, honest! After ya baked the cake, I took one look at it and thought it was just the colour of Pinkie Pie! Now I've gone and screwed your cake up and Pinkie is gonna hate me and so are you and it's all mah fault!" Wept Apple Bloom into her sister's arms. "It's alright, Apple Bloom. Just be sure ta tell me next time this happens, or Ah'm gonna be mighty mad at y'all," whispered Applejack. Apple Bloom looked up with teary eyes. "Ya mean it?" Applejack grinned. "Apple's honour. Now let's go make the icing for Pinkie's mane." The day of Pinkie's birthday "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!" "Aw, thanks everypony! This is the best birthday ever!" As the slices of the incredibly good cake were passed out, Twilight marched over to Applejack and Apple Bloom, a slice hovering in her magic. "This is potentially the best pink velvet cake I've ever tasted! I sure hope you remember the recipe. Wherever you learned it is probably the best bakery ever! I'm going to assume Sugarcube Corner?" Asked the princess, taking another bite. Applejack blushed and took off her hat. "Actually, Twi', Ah think Ah learned something even better, and Ah think Apple Bloom did too," she admitted. "Ah learned that Ah've got ta be flexible with things that don't go mah way." Apple Bloom nodded. "And I learned that I should always get permission to do things before doing them, especially if it's not something I'm doing myself," she murmured. Twilight smiled. "Well, it's nice to know that you've taught each other something from this experience," said the princess serenely. Rarity came over, sporting a clip made from three beautifully cut sapphires. "Hello, girls. I see you're all enjoying Applejack's cake! I've got to put a stop to my munchies," she sighed. "Where've y'all been, Rares?" Asked Applejack. Rarity grimaced. "Suffering in seamstress hell, of course. Where else would I be?"