The Untimely Revenge Of King Hoofenkhamun...
Dawn broke over the Hayseed Swamps, a few rays filtering through the knot of gnarled trees, vanquishing the ominous shadows and foreboding gloom which coiled about each and every turn. The creatures of the night fled to fading spots of darkness, cursing the Princess for her daily torment; still, in the Swamps, the night was never banished for long...
Daring Do moved from a cover of overgrown willow, pausing every few steps to listen for sounds of pursuit. There were none. The pegasus smiled, allowing her muzzle to crease with pride. Damn, she was good.
And there it was; bathed in all Celestia’s glory... the tomb of King Hoofenkhamun.
Cantering the last few yards, Daring came to a sudden stop by the entrance, and pulled a heavy, leather book from her saddlebag. Glancing proudly at a marked page within, the pegasus felt a pang of regret. Years of neglect had taken their toll on the temple, the final resting place of the ancient unicorn king.
Still, it had to be here... it simply had to! If the staff fell into the grip of Ahuizotl, Equestria would surely perish...
Inside the temple, Daring pulled the peak of her hat over her eyes, sunlight glittering through the dishevelled ceiling. A snake slithered amicably across her path, and she winced.
‘Why is it always snakes?!’
The creature hissed indignantly, before disappearing into the gloom and leaving the pegasus quite alone.
A few steps further, and Daring was met by the watchful eyes of a towering statue, the unicorn’s fierce gaze and sharpened horn bid her hasty retreat... Except, that she was a professional, and it was going to take rather more than a stone pony to frighten her. Besides, the pegasus gulped, this was a most necessary excursion; Ms. Yearling was in dire need of some inspiration... and she could certainly do without a certain blue pegasus trampling down her door in search of the next promised volume.
A rather intimidating unicorn army watched her from each of the temple walls, the artistic rendition displayed the fleet in golden armour, horns shimmering with the promise of magic. Daring glanced upward, unsurprised to find a single pony staring back at her, his portrait covering what remained of the ceiling. The horn of King Hoofenkhamun, the greatest Pharaoh who ever lived, was aglow with what had once been gold; however, time had ensured the paint faded, and now the Pharaoh was cursed to perform a mouldy yellow magic.
Still, Daring found herself more interested by the angle in which his horn was pointing.
‘Now.’ She sat back on her haunches. ‘Are you trying to frighten me, or are you telling me where I need to go?’
* * * * *
‘All teams, this is dispatch.’ The radio crackled, soulless voice overridden by static. ‘Please respond.’
Spitfire growled, slamming a hoof onto the radio.
‘What?’
The crackling voice stammered, taken aback by the brusque response. ‘My apologies, Ma’am. We’ve detected some kind of crazy magic energy in the Southern Sector... old unicorn territory.’
‘And?’ Spitfire felt her heart sink. The Wonderbolts were a pseudo military, high performance air squadron. They were not the civil service. Still, after all that trouble with Queen Chrysalis, she hardly felt as though she could refuse...
‘We could send a Griffon strike force... but you and your team would be there first.’ There was a long pause. Spitfire noticed her hooves had crossed themselves. ‘And after what happened in the Crystal Empire.’
And there it was.
‘No, never mind. Send me the coordinates, dispatch, we got this.’
No sooner had the promise been made, and her teammate, Soarin, trundled past the office door. He raised his hoof in mock salute, but she could tell the jesting pony was only half awake. Dark circles hung beneath his eyes, and his blue mane was limp, unwashed.
‘Hey Spitz... gonna hit the showers.’
Spitfire groaned, risking a glance at the desk across the room. Fleetfoot’s cutie mark brandished the nameplate... and the chair was empty. Shoreleave.
She could call back, ask the sentry to send in the Griffons? ‘And make the Wonderbolts look like a gang of half witted mules?’ No. Not on her watch. She could take this by herself.
If nothing else, flying solo meant no itchy Wonderbolt garb. Spitfire zipped up her brown bomber jack, swapped her shades for a pair of brass rimmed goggles, and left the hangar at a gallop, launching from the clouds to a chorus of student appreciation.
Spitfire smiled to herself... She so had this.
* * * * *
Daring Do flinched as something brushed by her foot, hidden by threads of unending darkness. The adventuring pony was beginning to suspect that she had been duped by the unicorn king – this whole temple had some serious doom vibes. The grounded pegasus stretched her wings as best she could; if only the passage was a tad wider!
‘Darned unicorns!’
Trotting a few metres more, Daring began to notice the passage filter with a faint light, and felt a begrudgingly hope that she might find something, anything to inspire her next published adventure. If some forgotten relic could also benefit the pegasus in her ongoing battle with the chimerical fiend Ahuizotl, so much the better!
Alas! At the precise moment Daring allowed herself to hope; the remnants of possibility were stolen from her. The passage began to shake, grains of dirt raining over her. She tried to move, to gallop desperately toward the squibs of light, but within seconds the entire temple was trembling with unforgiving fury. A crack tore at the dirt beneath her hooves, the dank ground falling away, and the pegasus along with it!
Daring forced her golden wings to open, ignoring the stab of pain as her feathers creased in the confined space. ‘Come on wings... hover!’ In seconds she had torn the bullwhip from her saddlebag, thrusting the implement outward for some chance at survival. The far end of the whip slithered back toward her... hopeless. Daring snorted with dismay, trying once more to find something, anything in the darkness to swing toward. This time, the whip caught something and, her cramped wings about to surrender, the pegasus found herself tugged thoughtlessly through the darkness, and into the light.
She collapsed onto the hard stone, breathing heavily. The remnants of the passageway crumbled behind her. Her thundering heart, her desperate pants of musty air were not the only sound in the faintly illuminated chamber. There was another, the calm sniff of concealed glee... and then a voice like hooves on a chalkboard:
‘Greetings, Ms. Do... so nice of you to drop by.’
Daring felt her heart sink. Forcing her head from the ground, she saw the end of her whip twisted about the deep indigo tail of a most familiar cretin. The yellowed teeth of her foe glittered in the torchlight, his massive head hovering inches from her grounded form.
‘Ahuizotl!’
Sunlight filtered through the ceiling, casting ominous shadows about the scene. Ahuizotl, the fearsome, overbearing miscellany of beasts, edged toward a crumbling dais in the centre of the chamber.
‘You’ll never find it, Ahuizotl.’
The beast craned his neck, beaming wildly at his captive’s strained words. Feline minions encircled the wounded pegasus, ensuring there was little she might do but look on in horror as chaos took hold of Equestria.
‘I presume you mean the Horn of Hoofenkhamun Ms. Do? Or might I call you Daring?’
For one terrible, horrifying moment, Daring Do found herself at a loss for words. ‘Absolutely... Not.’
Ahuizotl feigned offense, but his tail twitched, the ridiculous hand which adorned its tip balling into a fist. ‘And fret not, my dear, I know precisely where the horn is to be found.’ The gargantuan fist thundered through the air, leaving a trail of sparks in its wake... and crashed into the surface of the dais.
It splintered. Cracks formed atop the stone, spider webbing over the surface until much of the antiquated sculpture fell away. Daring felt her heart skip a beat. ‘What have you done?’
* * * * *
Equestria passed in a gentle lull, midmorning sun casting gentle warmth over Spitfire’s majestic wings. The pegasus missed flying solo; it had become almost hardwired, she was either a teammate, a teacher, or a performer. Never just herself.
There it was, the Hayseed Swamps. A shiver raced through her feathers at the thought of it... so cramped, so confined, so... dark. The Wonderbolt shook thoughts of discomfort away, twisting her right wing inward and speeding toward the ground in a flawless landing.
‘Woah.’ The soulless voice at the end of the line had instructed her to find the temple of King Hoofenstein... or something. Whatever his name, Spitfire remained unsure as to whether a large heap of stone constituted a term of such grandeur. ‘What happened here?’
A crash rang through the trees, sending a scurry of small furry creatures in each direction. Spitfire launched, airborne before anything with more than four legs could be within her tightly guarded vicinity. Gross. Pegasi and creatures of the undergrowth? Not a good mix. Usually.
Soaring over the ruins, she located the source of ruckus with ease. It appeared the only part of the structure loosely intact and, conveniently, enough of the ceiling had splintered away that she might observe the activities within: ‘Alright, one nasty lookin’ thing with a hand stuck to its butt... a group of random cats, and - ’ Spitfire drew to a halt mid air... ‘Daring Do?!’ Spitfire looked on as the creature reached into a small pile of stone, and extracted something gold. A staff? Within moments, the beast had raised his prize over a hideous face, and... lipless jaws parted and prepared to gloat; though he never had the chance.
The staff burned with magic, sparks of gold glittering over the artefact and illuminating the darkness. Spitfire backed away, turning her gaze from the scene as blinding light seized the fiend’s tail and a shock of power rang through him. A voice resounded through the temple; loud enough to send the birds in the trees away in a fit of panic.
‘YOU DARE TO DISTURB MY SLUMBER!’
‘Ahuizotl, drop the staff!’ Daring Do’s hardened tones echoed through the ruckus and fell, alas! on deaf ears. Whatever Daring thought she was doing here, she was about to get her tail handed to her. She needed help.
Spitfire flapped twice, gathering just enough altitude to dive. There was one crack in the ceiling that might fit her lissom form... Taking a deep breath of humid air, Spitfire darted for the opening, squeezing through with relative ease; the pegasus swerved upward, her back hooves connected with the artefact, sending it from Ahuizotl’s grip and clattering over the floor.
The magic raging over the beast quietened, and he released a single puff of exhaustion before collapsing to the ground with a heavy thud. Spitfire came to land beside the wounded pegasus explorer, the sounds of Ahuizotl’s heavy snoring filled her ears.
'You are welcome, D.D.’
‘What have you done?!’ Daring Do thundered, pushing herself to her hooves and glowering at the Wonderbolt. ‘And don’t call me that!’
Spitfire doubled back. ‘Well, there’s gratitude; I didn’t have to take time out of my day to drop in and save an old friend.’
‘We are not friends. And you saved no pony, Spitfire, you doomed all of Equestria!’
Spitfire had been about to ask exactly how she had doomed the land, but a horrid rumbling filled the chamber, the artefact, discarded on the ground began to shimmer once more, and she feared there might be some truth in Daring’s angry brays.
‘Get back!’ Daring Do thrust out a wing to herd Spitfire away, cringing at the pain coarsing through her feathered extremity. ‘This is just like you. Reckless! That is the Horn of King Hoofenkhamun, one of the most dangerous artefacts in history!’
Light erupted from the staff, and from the display rose a mysterious spectre; a towering unicorn of bright, golden light. His long face was framed with a terrifying mask of lapis and gold, and his horn glittered with opalescent power.
Spitfire gasped, turning with disbelief: ‘Wait, you mean this King Hoofensmirch removed his horn?’
Daring Do sighed, her eyes fixed on the phantom unicorn shimmering into existence before her. ‘The Pharaoh Hoofenkhamun was the most powerful unicorn to ever live; his magic rivalled even that of Starswirl the Bearded.’
At this, the ghostly creature whinnied a deep, haunting sound, spectral hooves thundering the ground. ‘You would steal from your king?’ Without awaiting response, the creature released a further cry, and several squibs of gold swirled about the staff. The feline compatriots of Ahuizotl mewed in unison and fled the scene, dragging their unconscious master; the light curled menacingly above the pegasi, before dissolving into the ground beneath their feet. Daring and Spitfire found themselves thrust into the air; each flapping desperately to remain airborne. Hoofenkhamun laughed, a deep, eerie sound, as the ground parted and several unicorn warriors rose from beneath. ‘Pegasi, you will pay!’
Daring Do felt her injured wing crease, and tumbled to the ground. In seconds, a unicorn was upon her, a head butt thrusting her backward against an unforgiving wall. The mindless creature returned for a second strike, but Daring was ready; her back hooves kicked outward, sending a jolt through the undead unicorn’s silver helmet.
‘Zombie ponies?’ Spitfire’s disbelief reigned from above. A unicorn tilted its head upward, sending a burst of mottled magic at the airborne pegasus. She dodged, circling the attacker and swiping at it with a powerful wing. ‘D.D. we’ve gotta go; call in the experts.’
‘I am the expert.’ Three angry zombies cantered toward Daring, the first two falling victim to a haphazard swing of her whip, the third, however, landing a magical attack on the pegasus. Daring groaned, and unicorn prepared to strike once again.
‘Spitfire 2... D.D. 1!’ Spitfire slammed a hoof into the zombie, the beast crumpling to the ground.
‘I don’t need your help!’
Spitfire dropped to the ground, smirk alighting her muzzle. ‘Yeah, ya do. Look, the only way we’re gonna win here, is if we work together.’
Daring seized her whip, striking toward the Wonderbolt; the end whizzed past Spitfire’s face, rapping a unicorn on the horn. Its prepared magic backfired, and the zombie was thrust backward into a mindless comrade. ‘I. Work. Alone.’
‘And that’s why you never made it as a Wonderbolt.’
Daring recoiled her whip. ‘I never wanted to be a Wonderbolt.’
‘Everypony wants to be a Wonderbolt!’ A unicorn charged, horn bared. Spitfire launched, twisting into a skyward roll and batting the creature away. ‘That’s 3-2.’
‘Just because we’re pegasi, it doesn’t mean we’re obligated to fly all the time... You know, walking is good too.’
Spitfire regarded her old classmate with pity. If only she hadn’t damaged her wing, all those years ago. By the time it reset, she was too far behind. ‘You were good, D.D., until you got obsessed with all this history stuff.’
‘This ‘history stuff’ is what’s going to save our tails.’ Daring launched into the air, flapping twice with obvious discomfort as she leapt over a pair of charging foes. The pegasus landed without grace, coming to rest by the faintly shimmering artefact.
Three unicorn zombies gathered their undead wits, clambering to their hooves and fixing glazed eyes on the grounded pegasi. ‘Okay, so geek out already!' Spitfire launched herself over the nearest unicorns, clattering her hooves atop their metallic helmets and coming to land beside her begrudging teammate.
‘Legend says the Pharaoh had too much magic, more than his horn could handle.’
Spitfire swiped at a particularly brave, though tactless adversary. ‘So he cut it off?’
‘Eew, no. He forged a staff to contain the excess magic. That way, it was like having two horns.’
‘Two horns, twice as much magic?’
‘Something like that.’ Daring crouched to examine the artefact; it would appear the spirit of the pharaoh was content to seal himself within, and leave his undead minions to avenge his lost slumber.
‘So how do we undo this zombification spell?’
‘We can’t.’ Her comrade’s obvious dismay was enough to tell Daring Do that great use of optimism was required. ‘I mean, this is unicorn magic... and we’re - ’
‘Pegasi.’
‘We have to use his own magic against him. That’s the only way to undo the spell. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but Spitfire... are you with me?’
The Wonderbolt swatted a unicorn away and turned, hoof raised. Daring copied the motion, and a hoof bump sealed the partnership.
The unicorn army gathered about the pegasi, their horns glittering with the promise of magic.
‘I’m thinking now would be a good time for a plan, D. – Daring.’
‘Their magic is weak.’ Daring breathed, the threads of an idea coming together. ‘I was hit, but it barely stung. The only real threat is the pharaoh... and he sealed himself away. Spitfire, fly as fast as you can around the chamber, you need to gather enough speed to suck the zombies’ magic before they release it.’
Habitually confused by the science of magic, Spitfire launched into the air, instantly gathering speed. She wove between badly coordinated unicorn zombies, lifting enough dust, dirt and stray rubble to shatter the right lens of her favourite goggles.
Moments passed, and the staff began to glow. The pharaoh was awake, and aware of his peril. They had to seal the tomb before he cast another spell. Daring snagged the artefact with her whip, circling her head a half dozen times.
‘Spitfire, release!’ The Wonderbolt swerved upward, just as the whip released the Horn of Hoofenkhamun into the eye of the whirlwind.
The artefact burned, the temple aglow with dark magic... and Daring trapped by the whirlwind, wing injured and whip hanging from her teeth. Spitfire dropped into the fray, gathering the discarding end of the whip before soaring upward once more. She cleared the temple, flapping desperately away from the Hayseed Swamp, seconds before the reversed magic exploded, destroying what remained of the temple of Hoofenkhamun.
* * * * *
‘You know, you were right.’ Spitfire sat back on her haunches, the cloud soft beneath her hooves. ‘If I hadn’t been so reckless back at the academy, you would never have damaged your wing. You would have been the Wonderbolt, not me.’
The sun began to set over the cursed swamp, bathing the clear sky in gentile orange light.
‘But I never wanted to be one. It just took me a while to figure it out.’ Daring turned to face her new, old friend. ‘There is so much more to being a pegasus than flying.’
Spitfire felt her trademark smirk crease the corners of her mouth. ‘Like kicking the tails of some angry unicorn zombies?’
For the first time in longer than she cared to recall, Daring Do... A.K. Yearling, lapsed into an honest laugh. ‘Yeah, ‘cos that’s what I meant.’
The explorer turned writer raised a hoof, and the Wonderbolt copied the motion.