Deep Thoughts
I think about the things that I’ve let go; my plans to conquer Equestria, my plans to it into my own playground of chaos and all other parts of my painful past. I can let go of a lot of things but I do have one part of me that I could never leave behind; my lover Fluttershy.
I love her so much that I can't live without her. I’m like a dragon guarding my most valuable treasures. She is so very precious to me that my feelings for her keep me sane and untempted by my old ways. And yet she makes me wonder why would love me. Why choose me over any of the rather dashing stallions? Why love a monstrous beast like me? I'm no Prince Charming that could sweep her off her feet and into some fancy castle to live happily ever after. Why would she choose a creature whose mind races without rhyme or reason?
And yet I’m here in her room lying with her as she rests her head against my chest with both of my arms around her.
My mind keeps going on and on thinking what if I ever lost her or worse; if I lost myself.
What if I go back to my monstrous self and resume taking over Equestria? What if I abruptly snap and go completely insane? If Fluttershy saw me like that I wouldn't forgive myself. I wouldn't care once I’d gone mad. I would probably put a spell on her to love me then make her my Queen of Chaos. I would probably have her at my side as a trophy that could only do or say whatever I make the strings command her to do.
I don't want to do that to her. I don't want to go back to my chaotic self. I rather go back to my stone prison for another eternity than see her in any pain.
“Discord.”
I look down upon hearing my name. My precious mare is muttering in her sleep. She slowly moves away from my chest and shifts onto her side as the dim moonlight shining through the window hits her. She looks very lovely in the pale light.
How can somepony so tranquil tame my savage heart? It’s as if the moon conspires to make me love her even more than anything, even chaos itself! When she’s this peaceful it's as if the monster I used to be never existed. I softly stroke her mane as I slowly inch close enough to give her a gentle kiss on her smooth check.
“I love you my dear Fluttershy.” I say softly in her ear.
She remained still and quiet. She continued to lie in the moonlight.
I take a deep breath and let out all my thought and worries of everything about our relationship. I tell myself that nothing will happen, that nothing will bring me down. I will always protect her and I`ll do my best not to hurt her. Even if it means going back to my boring prison stone another thousand years to stop myself from doing her any harm.
I hear a quiet giggle from Fluttershy. I lean towards her to hear what she`s giggling about.
“Stop it...It tickles.” She says in her sleep while slightly squirming.
I can't help but smile. I rather like it when she sleep-talks while dreaming. It usually ends with me getting ideas for a little fun with her. I slowly turn her so she is facing my chest again. I then see her eyelashes fluttering. I guess she is having a very pleasant dream. I gave her another kiss but this time through her mane. Upon my gesture she slowly rises from her slumber.
“Hm...Discord? What are you doing up?” She asks in-between yawns.
“Oh, nothing; I was simply just enjoying this lovely view of the most beautiful mare I’ve ever known.” I reply while giving her a smile.
She gives me a gently smile back before softly kissing me.
“Your eyelashes kept fluttering...what were you dreaming about?” I ask while I run my paw through her mane.
“You don't want to know.” She replies while began to slowly inching away from me. “It`s embarrassing.”
All her words do is make me more curious about what she saw and felt in her sleep.
“Should I have a look and see myself?” I ask as I began to slowly move towards her.
“Trust me, you wouldn’t want to see or know.” She says as her voice becomes bit quieter
“Hearing that just makes me want to know more.”
“Trust me you wouldn’t.” She says while hiding her face behind from her mane.
I reach with my paw to move her mane aside so I can see her lovely moonlit face.
"I would” I say while give her a little smirk.
“Well” she said giving a sigh” you...turned into a lion and licked my face.”
That’s it? Me having turned into a lion and licked her? The mental image formed and before I knew it a plan slowly grew from it. She yawned again and in the short time it lasted I changed my body to match the creature she saw. Just as her yawn wanes I give her one swift long lick up the side of her face.
“Did you...did you just lick me?”She asked as a blush came over her. She slowly glanced over me and was clearly surprised to see me as the large feline from her dream.
I nodded and gently held her down as I begin to attempt to re-create her dream.
“Oh...My.” she says while the gravity of her new position dawns on her.
I begin to hear her slightly laughing while I’m grooming her.
“That tickles Discord.”
I kept going. I actually think that part of her knew what would happen if she shared her dream.
"Discord”
I stopped once I heard my name. I looked down and saw her looking a bit upset.
“Discord that’s enough. Please turn back and go to sleep.” she said in a tone that almost contradicted her expression. It really sounded like she doesn’t want to go to sleep quite yet. She’s actually inviting me to take another tiny step into my game. I think about my earlier worries while soaking in her reaction to my recent actions. She gives me ‘the stare’; but as if she’s playfully daring me to go on. I elect to play a different card. I give the saddest expression my new feline face can muster and as a contradiction to my size I softly ‘meow’. I can practically feel my earlier fears melting away into nothing. I see the trust and love in her eyes. I see that she has no fear of me.
After a while of our little showdown I start to see her letting her guard down. I knew she couldn’t resist my little cat face. She looked away and gave a little sigh. She looks back up at me while offering a gentle smile and all her love along with it.
Her warmth doesn’t stop me from taking the opportunity to be just a little chaotic. With a swift motion I roll her onto her back and resume grooming her; aiming for her ticklish areas,
She squirms under me while laughing. I love the sound of her laughter, I love the way she smiles. I even love the way she playfully tries to get away. All her moving and laughter let me know that she’s enjoying the fun we`re having.
After a short while of giving her a thorough tongue bath I let her up. She sits upright next to me and while faintly laughing she lightly pets my head.
“Ha-ha. Good kitty.” She said while slowly catching her breath.
I nuzzle her neck showing to say that I love her and as a bonus I let out another small meow and begin to purr.
“Ha-ha, okay Discord you had your fun. Time to change back to your old self.” she said sweetly.
I was getting ready to change back, until I saw her about to kiss me. I couldn’t help but lick her one last time as I change back to my original body again.
She gave one last laugh. “What am I going to do with you, Discord?” she said while whipping at her face where my tongue just was.
“How about you sit back and let me have my fun one last time?” I reply as I innocently give a quick tongue flick to her nose.
I waited to see if I’d get a mild scolding or a nod of approval but what I got was a deep breath and a question.
“Discord...what do you think of having some kids?”
My first thought was that she was joking as a little payback for my little mischief, but her tone was so serious.
“Some kids? As in more than one?” my voice started to crack as a nervous wave came over me.
“Yes” she replied as she nodded. ”That's if you want to have them. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s fine.”
She’s serious. I can tell in her eyes she wants to have foals. Now I have new concerns. What if I’m not good of taking care of them? What if they chaotic powers like mine and go insane? What if they cross Celestia and end up turned into stone like I did for so long?
I look at Fluttershy as she patiently waits for my answer. What am I so worried about? They’re going to have good hearts and kindness like their mother following their true paths in their life. She’s going to be there by my side taking care of them.
I lay a paw on her and lightly run it through her soft mane. ”I think I’d like it actually; but perhaps we should see if we can handle one before we think about having more than one though.”
She gave me a smile and lean towards me giving me a kiss.” Then I’ll be right here for the entire ride.”
“And I’ll be with you by your side as well, my dear Fluttershy.” I reply as I return the kiss.
She began to slowly yawn and buried her face against my chest once more before slowly falling asleep. I slowly felt sleepy as well. I let go of all parts of the tyrant I used to be but I’m never letting go of this. I’m not letting go of my wife and future child; or future children.