Old sayings and old memories remain with us as we lead our lives. Wisps of times long past that stay with us until the morning of eternity, bringing softs smiles to our faces and dull aches to our hearts. Still we carry them forward, for as long as we live.
Blessed Are They That Mourn For They Shall Be Comforted
Celestia stood tall on her balcony, looking over the land below her bathed in the dying light of day. She was The Eternal Sun, The Mare of Fire, The Cold Sun. Distant, calculating, and, unfeeling. She ruled with logic and intelligence, moving all the pieces to create her empire. She was the greatest strategic mind to ever grace Equestria, overcoming impossible odds at every turn to succeed. There was not a single creature alive who knew more than one iota of what she had done to get where she stood. Her image, high above the streets of Canterlot brought a sense of safety to her subjects as they returned to their homes, unable to perceive her tense neck and clenched jaw, nor the wavering of her legs or the distant look in her eye.
The Eternal Sun shuddered. Quickly she turned, retreating out from under her sun and her chambers. Another shudder racked through her frame. For the first time in longer than she wanted to admit, tears spilled down Celestia's face.She watched as they fell into the carpet, leaving ugly blemishes on the otherwise pristine surface. She bit her tongue, trying her damnedest to stop the emotion in it's tracks. She tore her eyes away from the fallen tears, searching for something else to focus on. Her eyes scanned her room, flitting back and forth for some reprieve from her thoughts, but failing to find any.
The lunar solstice was always a tough day.
Celestia let out a trembling sigh, her gaze finally overpowering her will and falling upon the rising moon through the balcony doors. It took every ounce of her strength to keep her jaw shut, keep the admittances of failure and pleas for forgiveness from spilling forth. They were useless to her now, they would only be swept away by the winds. No, she would save her words. Someday her sister would return, and if the elements were to banish her again, rather than cleanse her, then Celestia would wait. She would wait as long as she had to.
That was her punishment.
"P-princess?"
Celestia started, the voice which issued forth from the shadows inside her room genuinely surprising her. She cursed herself mentally for getting so distracted by simple emotion as she regained her composure. Before she could muster a response the voice came again, this time accompanied by the sight of it's owner.
"Princess Celestia?" Twilight Sparkle stepped hesitantly closer. "A-are you alright? I was hoping to speak with you, but there weren't any guards at your door. I knocked but I-I guess you didn't hear and your door was unlocked so I thought—" She broke off, chewing her lip. Her mouth opened several times as she watched Celestia hoping the alicorn would interject. When Celestia remained silent, she continued meekly. "I-I know it's not really my place to ask, as I'm just your student, b-but are you ... crying?"
Celestia regarded the filly before her. Twilight had been under her tutelage for nearly two years now. She finally had a good grip on her magical wellspring and, barring some unforeseen catastrophe. she wouldn't have to worry about losing control again. She was rapidly approaching the age where all Celestia's students had graduated and moved on, safely able to control their abilities and rejoin the rest of Equestria. The little unicorn had come a long way from the filly Celestia had met at her entrance exam.
The alicorn turned about without speaking and returned to the balcony and the newly born night. The young unicorn hesitated a moment before following.
"Tell me, Twilight," Celestia began, having finally gathered her thoughts. She sat down and patted a spot next to her on the marble. "What do you see when you look at the stars?"
Cautiously, the filly closed the gap between them, carefully sitting down a few hooves away from the Princess as was proper. Celestia's brow creased imperceptibly as Twilight considered her question. It was a few more moments before Twilight had an answer she felt was worth sharing.
"Well, I guess I see the by-product of chemical and thaumic reactions in a large body of gas and magic light-years away, which travels at approximately three times ten to the power of eight meters per second through a vacuum towards us."
Celestia blinked once before raising an eyebrow. Twilight smiled, unable to prevent a blush from spreading across her face. Celestia shook her head and chuckled.
"While scientifically accurate, not quite what I was looking for." The alicorn's laugh tapered off, and she turned her gaze to the tapestry of stars before her.
"I've lived for a long time, Twilight. Whenever I look at the stars... I see the witnesses to every mistake I've ever made. They've been there through it all, as if they were only a stone's throw away. Each star is something I've done wrong. I come out here every night to try to remember but sometimes... I- I can't even remember all of their faces..." Her words filled the air, taking whatever peace there had been and replacing it bitterness.
Twilight opened her mouth but hesitated, not sure if it was her place to speak. She turned her gaze away from the alicorn and instead looked out towards the stars. The distance between the unicorn and the alicorn seemed suddenly enormous. More than ever, Twilight could feel the centuries, the millennia, between them. It was almost insurmountable. And so the silence grew.
After what felt like forever, Celestia spoke. "I'm sorry, Twilight Sparkle. It isn't your place to hear the pains of an alicorn, nor was it appropriate for me to place them upon you. I'm sor—"
"When I see the stars, I see... I see a world of endless opportunity." Twilight blurted out, bringing Celestia's words to a grinding halt. "There's so much we don't know, so much mystery in the world and the night embodies that. It's beautiful and it makes me so excited to be alive, and be here... with you." Twilight blushed. "I-I mean here as your student, learning under you! Not with you, with you. N-not that that would be bad or anything, just—" She broke off and took a breath. "When I look at the stars, I see all the good things you do, and all the ponies you've helped, including me, and I hope that I can do even one tenth of the good you've done."
Twilight's brow furrowed as she continued, not allowing the alicorn a word in edgewise. "Sure you might've made mistakes, but doesn't everyone? Isn't that just part of life? And haven't you always told me that mistakes are okay to make?"
Twilight snorted. "I'm the pony who nearly destroyed a wing of your school, turned her parents into potted plants and nearly killed everyone in the area. You're the who stepped in and stopped it, Celes— "
Twilight cut off, covering her mouth with her hooves. Princess Celestia had frozen at her unfinished word, an inscrutable expression fixed upon her face.
"P-Princess, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to forget your title! Please forgive me! I-I don't know what came over me I just—"
Whatever Twilight was going to say was silenced by Celestia's crushing hug. Her world became warmth, white fur and feathers, and the tears dripping onto her back. From her position, she could her her mentor's heartbeat and ragged breathing. Princess Celestia, embodiment of the sun, was crying.
Twilight did the only thing she could think to; hug her back.
"P-please, Twilight," Celestia managed after a moment. "Never apologize for using my name. I-I don't think I hear it nearly enough."
"I'll try, C-Celestia."
They didn't break their embrace until the sun rise, and it was the best lunar solstice Celestia had had in centuries.
The fire crackled merrily in the hearth, but its warmth didn’t reach Twilight. Her mind was elsewhere, not paying any heed to the heat building on her coat or the dull aches and pains covering her. The constant pitter-patter of the rain had faded into dull ambiance shortly after the sunset.
A sudden flash of illumination caused the shadows to scatter. Twilight blinked, broken from her stupor. She flinched in accord with the shaking of the walls. The thunder echoed through her home. With a groan, she rose to her hooves and shuffled over to the window. There wasn’t much to be seen in the dark, but Twilight was certain the storm wouldn’t be over for a few more hours at least.
Twilight glanced towards the clock on her desk. 11:47. A wave of weariness washed over Twilight, and she let out a long yawn. It was good to be home. With another yawn, she trudged her way to the couch. She set her sore shoulder against the couch with a grimace and pushed. The couch slid its way closer to the fire. Satisfied, Twilight grabbed a blanket and settled down.
A soft sigh escaped her lips, and she sank into the couch, the warmth of the blanket and the fire driving away any thoughts of the storm outside. Twilight closed her eyes, ready for sleep to embrace her.
Her ear twitched.
She frowned, then rolled over. Calm washed over her again. The warmth from the fire seeped through her back. Her muscles relaxed, each ache and pain dulled. A sigh slipped from her lips as the weight of the last week fell away from her. She could feel her consciousness slipping away from her, and she embraced it wholeheartedly.
Her ear twitched again.
Twilight threw her blanket aside as she shot to her hooves. She ignored it and listened intently. The night sounded as it should have. The rain fell, the wind blew, and the fire crackled. She was about to lay down again when she heard it.
A light knock at her door.
Twilight sighed but stood nonetheless. Begrudgingly, she left the warm embrace of the fire. The night’s wind had crept its way into the library. In Twilight’s study the fire kept it at bay, but in the hall it was biting. Twilight shivered, quickly trotting down the stairs and to the entryway.
She took a moment in front of the entrance to brace herself for wrath of the storm, then opened the door.
Twilight blinked.
“Hello, Twilight,” a sopping wet, bedraggled Celestia greeted her.
Twilight blinked again.
“May I come in? It’s a little cold out here.”
Twilight nodded dumbly, opening the door further and stepping back to let the alicorn enter.
Celestia ducked her head and entered the library, closing the door behind her.
As Celestia took stock of her surroundings. Twilight, meanwhile, simply stared, struggling to make sense of the evening’s sudden change.
When was the last time Celestia had dropped by unannounced? And when did she ever appear less than perfect? Mud was splattered up her legs, and her mane was plastered to her neck rather than flowing elegantly behind her. How long had she been standing out in the rain?
Twilight opened her mouth to ask. Celestia shivered.
Any semblance of comprehension was wiped from Twilight’s mind at that point. Princess Celestia, embodiment of the sun, shivered. The same Princess who not even a week ago had been magically thrashed by a Changeling Queen The same Princess who had her magic siphoned from her by their cocoons. The same Princess who had been prescribed a minimum of two weeks bed rest by the royal physicians.
“Do you have a towel I could use?” Celestia asked, turning to Twilight. She was met with a furious glare.
“Why in Equestria are you here, Princess Celestia?!” Twilight growled. “Look at you! You’re in no condition to be here! You should be back in Canterlot, recovering!”
“I’m perfectly fine, Twilight,” she replied. “Just a little tired.”
“A little tired?” Twilight scoffed. “And I suppose it’s just a little rainy outside. You’re shivering, Princess! You can’t even spare the magic to keep yourself warm.”
Celestia raised a hoof to answer, then stopped and gave it a curious glance. Sure enough, it shivered. “Hmm. I suppose you’re right.” She paused, then asked, “Do you have a towel I could use?”
Twilight snorted, trying to mask her concern. “You need more than a towel, that’s for sure. Let’s get you by the fire first and I’ll see what I can do.”
Celestia nodded grimly, following behind Twilight on the way up the stairs. She eyed the steps warily, as if they might reach out and trip her. More than a thousand years of practice paid off, and the stairs were conquered without incident.
Celestia followed her student through the hall and though the threshold into Twilight's study. The cozy space was cast in deep shadows, and the warmth of the fire was palpable even at the doorway. Like a moth to a lamp, Celestia was drawn to the warmth, gingerly setting herself down as close to the flames as she could.
Twilight looked on at the shivers wracking the alicorn’s frame. She was a mere silhouette against the fire. A pony fighting against a cold night.
“Let me go get you that towel.”
Twilight fled the warmth of the chamber and sought the frigid safety of the bathroom. She sunk down the side of the tub and came to a rest on the cold tiles. She rubbed her temples to fight her growing headache.
So much for the peace and quiet of home. Twilight sighed. The heat drained from her and she cast out her chaotic thoughts with it. After another minute Twilight grabbed a few towels and returned to her study with her thoughts collected.
The alicorn had laid down. Her shivering had died down thanks to the fire. Twilight trotted over, knelt down beside the older mare, and began to dry her off.
Celestia turned in surprise. “Twilight, you don’t have to dry me. I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself.”
“With all due respect, I don’t think you are, Princess.”
Celestia opened her mouth to argue, but thought better of it. She laid her head back down and let Twilight resume.
A look of concern grew on the unicorn’s face as she continued to towel off the alicorn. In the light of the fire, Twilight could see her real state.
Beneath her coat, a patchwork of bruises ran across her side. Her wings were a mess, and her feathers were in total disarray. There wasn't a straight shaft among them. Twilight's ministrations stopped as her eyes fell upon a particularly loose pinion. It twitched on some invisible breeze. Twilight exhaled and her breath was the last straw. The feather broke free and fluttered to the floor. Twilight swallowed and resumed the drying.
The crackling of the fire filled the silence.
Eventually Twilight's focus reached a tender point, and Celestia winced sharply. Twilight pulled away, giving Celestia a second. Celestia sighed, nodded, and allowed Twilight to resume.
“Did you fly here in the storm?” she asked softly.
There was no response.
“What were you thinking, Princess?”
“Do you remember the first lunar solstice we spent together, Twilight?” Celestia asked, ignoring the question.
Twilight frowned, but answered. “Of course I do. How could I ever forget that night?”
“Why do you never leave off my title, Twilight?” The alicorn asked.
Twilight opened her mouth, taken aback. Before she had a chance to respond, Celestia continued.
“I won’t ever forget that night either, Twilight,” she sighed softly. "I won't ever forget the little filly who was so desperate to make me feel better that she addressed me like a friend, rather than a leader.”
The words hung heavily in the air; half accusation, half reminiscence.
“I hoped when I asked you to never apologize for using my name, you might use it more often.
The words hit Twilight like a blow, sending her thoughts reeling. Her mouth opened and closed but no coherent words came forth, only small breaths.
Celestia shook her head. She took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled. “I’m sorry, Twilight. That was uncalled for. I’m not really myself tonight.”
Twilight didn’t respond.
Celestia chewed her lip, fighting an inner battle. She sighed. “I’ve barely slept a wink in the last week. I just can’t stop thinking. It’s like the wedding just let loose a stream of questions, and they won’t stop.”
Celestia fell silent. The fire popped in the cool night. She turned to look at Twilight. Twilight simply stared at the crackling flames.
Celestia’s eyes decomposed everything about the unicorn’s expression. From the twitch of an ear to a subtle tightening around the eyes after a blink, Celestia took it all in.
She still didn’t have the slightest clue what was going on in Twilight’s mind.
And so Celestia inhaled and cast the die. “It all comes back to you, Twilight.”
The unicorn turned and ensnared Celestia in a labyrinth of violet, full of some emotion that she, even with all her experience, couldn’t place. The world condensed to just their interlocking gaze. There was a vastness there. A void, full of peril and opportunity.
Twilight turned away.
The trance was broken.
Celestia swallowed. Her suddenly-dry throat itched. She delved on into the void.
“Twilight, I have made mistakes, and I will continue to make them. I know how to carry the weight of my sins.”
The alicorn stopped and wetted her dry lips.
“I keep seeing your face when I close my eyes. Your expression when you tried to confront Chrysalis. I could see the glimmer of hope in your eyes when I walked up to you. The thought that I would come to your defense, as you had always come to mine.”
Celestia shook.
“I can’t, Twilight -- I can’t bear the fact that I did that.” Celestia’s eyes lost focus. She stared past Twilight into the depths of the past.
“I can bear the lives I’ve taken by my hoof or horn. I can bear the lives I couldn’t save. I can bear the centuries of making impossible decisions, where the only result is pain and heartache. I can bear my sins.”
“But betraying you? Thinking I’d lost you?”
Motes of dust drifted through the firelight. The books sat hushed on their shelves. The storm raged on in silence.
“You’re the closest thing I’ve had to a friend in seven hundred years.”
Celestia’s head fell. Yet another shiver wracked her body.
“I’m so sorry.”
The alicorn shrugged of the blanket. She gritted her teeth and lifted herself from the floor. She turned to leave.
Her path was immediately blocked by a frowning Twilight.
"Twilight," Celestia began. Before she could continue, the unicorn rushed forward, raised onto her hind legs, and wrapped the alicorn in a tight hug.
Celestia froze, stiff as a board. Her breath trickled through her clenched teeth, blocked like a mountain stream after a rockslide. Her legs groaned, pleading her to lay down once more. A soft, clean coat sullied itself against her. Celestia knew she should want to pull away, but try as she might, she could not.
And so at long last, she melted into the warm embrace of the smaller pony. She sat and pulled the unicorn closer with her wings, wrapping her neck around Twilight. Neither knew how long they held their embrace.
"Thank you, Twilight," Celestia breathed, squeezing Twilight tightly one last time. Feeling like a weight had been pulled from her back, she rose to her hooves, ready at last to depart.
"Where do you think you're going?" Twilight asked, getting to her hooves as well. Celestia stared back at the unicorn’s stern look, confused.
Twilight didn't shy away from the alicorn’s gaze. "You're in no condition to go back to Canterlot tonight. You need to rest and recover."
Celestia opened her mouth to argue, but one look from Twilight stopped any protest. Twilight nodded, satisfied that Celestia's arguments were silenced. "Now lay down on the couch and try to get some sleep," she suggested.
Celestia nodded and squeezed down onto the couch, settling herself down on her side. A wave of weariness washed over her, making her eyelids droop.
Twilight smiled at the alicorn struggling to hold onto consciousness beneath her. A blanket rose in a lavender aura and settled down over the alicorn. Grabbing a pillow and blanket for herself, Twilight settled down on the floor beside her mentor.
"I don't deserve you, Twilight Sparkle," Celestia sighed. She closed her eyes and surrendered to the night.
She heard Twilight shifting beside her, but didn't open her eyes. Her consciousness ebbed. Just as she reached the edge of sleep, she felt it: a kiss, placed gently on her forehead. The feeling of the unicorn's lips lingered in Celestia's mind. When she fell asleep, it haunted her dreams.
Lord teach me, That all must have an end And life has purpose And I must accept this
Celestia’s hooves brushed the grass as she strolled through the gardens. A cool breeze blew through the early evening air. The birds had gone to bed, but the crickets were not yet chirping. It would be a beautiful night. Fitting, she supposed.
Luna had outdone herself. Purple nebulae shimmered all across the sky and every constellation was at hoof to honor the day. A streak of stars cut right through the center of the sky; a band of the galaxy usually reserved for the Winter Moon Celebration. The heavens spoke to all of Equestria's joy.
Celestia’s smile faded.
Her pace quickened and her thoughts swirled. Much as she was loath to admit it, she felt uneasy. It should’ve been a joyous occasion. She should’ve been inside, laughing and dancing the night away. But she wasn’t, so she walked.
The bushes flanking her ended, the unrestrained gardens spilling out into pools of color dotted on the grass. Her hoofsteps slowed, a memory of the wildflowers which had grown here so long ago rising in Celestia's mind. The echo of carefree laughter rang through the years. Celestia shook her head and continued.
The path led down a small slope and into the castle's sprawling hedge maze. Celestia didn't follow it. She left the path and went straight. Her wing idly brushed the familiar stone walls of her home as she walked.
The beat of the music and the hum of countless happy voices found it's way out into the grounds, distant and distorted. There was a pause in the noise before a roar rose from the crowd inside the castle and erupted through the night air. Drowsy birds in the nearby trees flapped their wings and cawed indignantly before tucking their heads back into their wings and settling down again. A ghost of a smile danced across Celestia's lips. She was glad her absence hadn't disturbed the revelry.
The alicorn stuck close to the wall and continued through a small grove of trees. She ducked under the branch of an aspen and rounded a corner of the castle. A plain wall overgrown with ivy rose up to meet her. Celestia stopped and lit her horn. The castle walls and the leaves of the aspen and oaks behind her were illuminated with a soft golden glow. The curtain of ivy shimmered with golden sparks and parted, revealing a small garden courtyard beyond.
Celestia ducked her head and passed through the arch of ivy. The drone of the celebrations ceased as if she had flicked a switch. A breath of air left her lips and her shoulders sagged. She lifted her head.
Short stone benches lined the perimeter of the small courtyard before her. Patches of verbena, dwarf iris, and columbine dotted the grass in no particular arrangement. The sound of running water came from an inlaid fountain with a unicorn's bust in the far wall, filling the air with a peaceful burbling. Its water shimmered in light from the heavens, crystal clear and pure.
Celestia didn't look at any of it. Her gaze was reserved for the tall willow that grew in the center of the courtyard. Its frame was twisted with age but it still stood tall. Its branches hung low like cascading curtains above the grass, the foliage just thick enough to obscure anything beyond their veil.
She stepped lightly through the garden, gently brushed aside a few branches, and moved into willow's shadow. The darkness lasted only for a second before a non-existent wind blew through the branches. A shiver ran down Celestia's spine as she felt the magic surge up through the tree's trunk and into its limbs. As the magic passed each leaf began to glow with a golden light.
Celestia stepped away from the world outside. The sound of the fountain was quiet, almost forgotten under the firmament of branches above her head. A naturally formed seat in the willow's curving trunk invited her to take a seat. She did.
Celestia let herself lean back against the trunk of the tree and closed her eyes. The soft rustling of the leaves above her and the reassuring warmth of magic around her pulled forth wisps of memories from the depths of her mind.
A hot summer’s day stolen away from her schedule spent teaching a young Twilight magic. A bright lavender glow giving birth to a breeze that made the branches of the willow above them sway. A proud easy smile on her lips.
A brisk winter afternoon where the small filly worked her first fire magic. A scorch mark that had taken weeks to heal on the grass below hoof. A pair of eyebrows scorched within an inch of their life. A warm belly laugh shaking her body.
Afternoons spent here alone while Twilight buried herself in books for weeks on end. Countless hours spent worrying about the young mare’s nonexistent social life. The inside of her cheek raw from nervous chewing.
A morning spent here as the absence of her student ate away at her, the loneliness more painful than it had been in years. The hot tears running down her face.
Hours stolen away from the court and Twilight’s friends, spent in deep conversation or comfortable silence. Laying side by side with her Twilight, stealing the occasional kiss. A warm glow in her chest, a tightness in her throat, and a tingling in her lips.
Celestia sighed.
“It’s hardly a night for sighing,” a familiar voice chided.
Celestia's eyes shot up and she started forward in surprise. Twilight let the still glowing branches of the willow drop behind her as she stepped into the enclosure. The mare looked up and gave the ceiling of luminous limbs a smile.
Celestia's breath caught in her throat. For an instant, it was as if she had triple vision. The young filly eager to impress her, the student scared to let her down, and the confident mare who knew her better than anypony born this millennium; all overlaid and staring up at the lattice overhead in awed appreciation. Their heads drifted down and they watched her with nervous excitement, fearful awe, and a soft knowing look. Celestia blinked and her Twilight was alone again.
Celestia swallowed and tried to smile. "I’m sorry my light.”
Twilight's head tilted as she considered Celestia. She hummed softly and closed the distance between them, setting herself down beside her larger companion. She didn’t say anything.
Celestia shifted uncomfortably in the silence. Her smile faltered. “I shouldn’t be keeping you, my dear. There are so many ponies who want to see you tonight. They deserve to be with their new Princess.”
Twilight shrugged. “So what?" she asked. "I’ve seen most of them already, and I'd rather be with you." Twilight paused, her face turning into a pout. "Even if you don't want to see me..." she added in a trembling voice.
“Oh, Twilight,” Celestia protested. "There isn't a time I wouldn't want to see you."
Twilight's pout vanished in a giggle. “I know that, silly," she laughed. She scooted herself closer to the larger mare and leaned up against her side. She shivered slightly as she felt her new feathers brush against Celestia’s. She didn’t notice Celestia shudder as their wings touched. "But I do want to know why you're not celebrating."
Celestia shook her head and looked up. Dappled silver light from the moon filtered down through the tree boughs mixing with the golden glow of the tree's magic. The branches stirred in a symphony of soft rustles. “Honestly?" she sighed. "I... I don't know how to explain it.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow, turning more towards the other mare. There was the slightest pause. “Celestia the eloquent, lost for words?" she asked in mock surprise.
Celestia noticed the slight flare of Twilight's nose, the imperceptible twitch of one of her ears, and the subtle shift of her eyebrows. She didn't say anything. Instead, she put on an amused look and nodded.
Twilight's face of mock surprise faded and the air seemed to lose a bit of its light as Celestia watched her favorite smile disappear.
Twilight chewed her lip and stared unseeingly past Celestia. The silence stalked underneath the branches, circling the two ponies on the bench.
Twilight pulled away from her thoughts. "You know you can tell me anything, right?” she murmured as she nuzzled Celestia's side.
Celestia pulled Twilight closer but hesitated. She shook her head. “Tonight is supposed to be a celebration for you. I don't want to ruin it,” she whispered
Twilight pulled back and considered that for a moment.
Celestia’s eyes traced the contours of her lover’s frame. She noticed the few stray strands of mane that framed Twilight’s face. She watched as Twilight’s ear twitched nervously, betraying her calm exterior. She tried to take every last detail of the mare before her and burn them into her memory so that she would never forget her. Celestia still knew it would be a paltry shade of the mare in front of her.
"Has anypony I know died?"
Celestia’s reverie(?) was broken. She blinked, caught off guard. She thought for a moment before replying, "Not that I know of, but what does that--"
Twilight cut her off, meeting Celestia’s gaze and holding it as she continued. "Is there any national emergency that my friends and I have to run off and solve?"
Celestia shook her head. “No, but Twilight, I don’t—“
"Are you aware of any incoming national disasters, plagues, famines, alien invasions, or Pinkie Pie related events that could cause trouble?" Twilight held Celestia’s gaze.
"No, I don’t anticipate any of that happening tonight," Celestia sighed.
Twilight swallowed once and took a steadying breath. Her voice was calm when she spoke. "Do you still love me?"
Celestia jerked as if hit. She shook her head in earnest, pulling the smaller mare closer towards her. "Always, Twilight. Always," she whispered.
Twilight let out a small noise of content, melting into the warm embrace. Firmly snuggled up against her lover, she couldn’t help but smile. "If that’s true, then I don't think that anything you say could truly ruin my night!” She turned in the embrace to look up into Celestia’s eyes. “Hit me,” she said with a confident smile.
"I could never harm a hair on your head, let alone hit you, Twilight."
Celestia had heard songs from times lost. She had been serenaded by the greatest singers to ever grace the world with their voices. She had heard echoes of the song of creation, more beautiful than a mortal could bear to hear. She had heard and seen the greatest works from fallen civilizations and empires lost to time. Twilight's laugh under the willow tree that night, was more beautiful and perfect than them all.
The Princess of the Sun looked away, up into the boughs above them. She tried to ignore the heat in her face and the burning in her throat. The laughter beside her faded and died as she forced herself to breathe.
Celestia started as Twilight's hoof brushed her cheek, wiping away a tear. The touch drew her gaze down to meet the eyes looking up to her. The smaller mare's smile was gone, replaced with a confused concern. Though Twilight said no words, Celestia could hear the silent plea.
Celestia closed her eyes as more tears welled up. Her head sank, and her body shook. "I love you, oh light, I love you," she whispered.
"Then tell me what's wrong," Twilight replied softly as she ran a hoof over Celestia’s back. Celestia forced herself to breathe. Her chest heaved as she pulled in the air, the slowly released it. Though she shook less, her tears didn’t stop. She swallowed.
“Did I…” She tried, but her voice trailed off for a few breaths. “Is this— ” Words failed her again. Her body sagged as she exhaled and her head shook. Twilight opened her mouth to say something but was stopped short.
“I wonder if I did the right thing.”
The voice was quiet as a whisper but carried the force of Royal Canterlot Voice. The world stopped as those words hung in the air. In the eternal moment, Twilight pulled away from Celestia.
"You wonder if it was right for me to… ascend?"
Celestia closed her eyes, “I have given you nothing but pain. Tonight, you were so happy there among your friends and family. I can’t replace that. No matter how much I love you, Twilight. Those wings… They mean that you will see more funerals than you have any right to.”
Celestia turned her head and looked at Twilight. The smaller mare reached over and brushed Celestia's mane back away from her eyes. Celestia shivered as the hoof brushed her face, but didn’t pull away. She reached up and pulled it into one of her own. She held it there for a moment, feeling Twilight’s heartbeat.
“Am I selfish?” Celestia asked, tears leaking from her eyes. “I want you by my side, Twilight. I want you there so much that it hurts," She shuddered and looked away, continuing, "But to force you into this...You never had a chance to make a choice. I was so caught up in the moment. I was so happy you finished Starswirl's spell, I didn't even stop to think if you would want this."
"I made my choice a long time ago, Celestia." Twilight's voice was soft and calm. She nuzzled up against Celestia's neck, before getting up from the bench and moving into Celestia's line of vision. She held the older Princess’ gaze steadily and with a small smile. She placed a kiss on the larger mare's cheek. "I love you. That is the choice I made. When I cast Starswirl’s spell…” Twilight’s mouth scrunched up as she decided how to best phrase her words. “I felt something in the magic. It was as if for a second I knew what the spell was trying to do. I don't know how I knew, but somehow I did. I had a chance to turn back and stop the spell. I made my choice."
Celestia tried to look away but Twilight's hoof gently stopped her.
Twilight took a breath in. Her body quivered as she spoke, but her voice was steady. "I know that I may see the ponies I love die. I know that and I don't regret my choice."
Celestia stood abruptly, leaving Twilight's hoof hanging in the air. She paced a path around the low hanging branches. Her face was dark in the shadow of the branches. It twisted from pain to frustration, to longing. She stopped just short of leaving but didn't look at Twilight. "You shouldn't have to do this for me."
Twilight snorted, shaking her head. She stood and marched right up to Celestia, making the other mare take a step back. "I didn't do it for you," she started slowly with forced calm. "If you loved me and I didn't love you in return, that would've been doing it for you."
"I. Love. You." She punctuated her words by prodding Celestia in the chest after each word. "In the end, it was my choice, and I made it. You can't say that you've doomed me to this life. I chose this, Celestia. And no matter how hard it'll be, if I'm with you I can weather through eternity."
Celestia let out a deep, shaking breath. She nodded slowly at first, then faster as she pulled Twilight into a tight hug. Tears ran down her face and into Twilight’s mane. The smell of lavender filled Celestia lungs as her love gently consoled her. The wind moved through the willow’s branches, filling the air with the gentle murmur of the leaves and the peaceful sounds of the night.
Now how can I console myself? My hope is in Thee The righteous souls go Eternity's hand And no torment shall stir them
My soul requires and yearns for the courts of the lord
My body and soul rejoice
With the living Lord
Twilight paced back and forth before the stained-glass window, considering it carefully.
It was well designed as far as she could tell, though she was no expert on fine art. Rarity would be a far better judge on that front than her. Still, she had read a few books on classical art, color theory, and such throughout her years, so she thought her opinion might have some merit. And putting all bias aside, she could admit it was a beautiful piece of work.
But it still bothered her. The depiction just wasn't right. Celestia and Luna had both told her of their triumphant battle with Discord and his eventual imprisonment in stone, and this depiction of that same battle was categorically wrong. Where were the chaotic ruins of the city he had made into his home? Where was the army the Celestia and Luna had painstakingly assembled over the course of years? Where were the other twenty-four missing pieces Twilight felt were deserving of note?
She sighed. Twilight understood intellectually that some aspects of that had to be censored for various reasons, but the historian inside couldn't help but grind her teeth.
She turned away from the window and continued her pacing. The hallway hadn't changed, excluding the slight shift in the shadows. WIth a bit of mental math, Twilight guessed it had been nearly thirty minutes. What was taking so long?
She turned again, but her hind-left shoe lost traction on the marble floors and she stumbled. Before she could fall so much as a hoofs length, her horn glowed and she popped out of existence, appearing a moment later above the ground. She grabbed herself with her magic and set herself back down, careful not to crease or mark her dress. Rarity would never let her hear the end of it. One couldn't walk down the aisle in anything but a perfect dress.
Twilight tried to swallow the lump in her throat. There it was again. She was going to be walking down the aisle in what couldn't be more than five minutes now.
But Twilight wasn't a mare who panicked. She was a mare who planned and plotted until she worked out a solution which she then executed to varying levels of success (or failure). It wasn't as if Celestia had been replaced by changelings (she had checked, daily) and it wasn't as if she was afraid somepony would protest (she had binding legal contracts guaranteeing that most of the attendees would only applaud). She had already accounted for every possibility.
There was no more planning to do. There was no solution to the knot of nerves, anxiety, and excitement that was bubbling inside her. She just had to grin and bear it.
Twilight snorted, turning again in her pacing only to stop as the stained glass window before her had changed. A stained glass depiction of her and her closest friends with Discord pulling the puppet strings. A window she had last seen when she had almost failed Equestria.
She stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes locking with those of the spirit of chaos. He was leering down at her, smile still just as smug as it had been that day.
The stained glass figure laughed, slapping its knee with glee. Twilight started on as it slowly regained its composure. "Sorry, Sparkles!" the draconequus in the glass apologized with only a token attempt to hide his mirth. "It was just right to snap you out of your doldrums." His head separated from the window to look down on it appraisingly. "Too much?"
Twilight merely grumbled in response.
"I see, I see! Your apt and well-thought criticisms are always welcome and I will take them to heart." He replied before snapping his talons and changing the window in a flash. "I suppose this would be more fitting for the occasion."
The window now depicted the hall beyond the doors, where the wedding ceremony was to take place. Celestia stood alone on the altar with tears in her eyes, with an angry and shocked crowd before her.
"Just imagine the headlines!" He flourished his hand, and from it appeared an issue of the Canterlot Times. "Princess Celestia left at the altar: Too despondent to raise the Sun!" He read from the front page before it burst into flames in his hands. "And hot off the presses too!"
Twilight's mouth opened and closed, her face reddening, but Discord spoke before she could start. "It really a shame too. I thought you were stronger than that." He sighed and shook his head. "To think, the pony who defeated me... What was it, two and half times? Not brave enough to walk through some doors to her happy ending? I guess I was soft even before Fluttershy got to me."
"Disc--" Twilight tried to say, but was cut off again.
"No, no more words, Twilight. You've made up your mind. I can see." He snapped and Twilight's dress vanished, replaced with a bindle and stick. " Go! Go, before I stop you!" He turned his face away covering it with a palm in mock distress.
"I'm not going anywhere!" Twilight snapped, tossing the bindle aside. "I was just feeling a little nervous. Everything I've read has told me cold hooves are to be expected. Now, may I please have my dress back?"
Discord sighed and his shoulders sunk. "Fine, very well." With a snap, Twilight's dress was again on her and in perfect order. "Though you must admit, it would've made this boorish day a little more interesting."
Twilight just sighed, looking again at the double doors through which all her friends, family, and Celestia waited.
The silence between the two stood for a minute before Discord spoke, now in his physical form standing beside Twilight wearing a rather dapper suit. "I came to give you a bit of warning. I'd say we're about three minutes away now," he said, checking his wrist, where a watch with his face and arms had appeared.
Twilight didn't respond. If it hadn't been for her the movement of her chest as she breathed, she could've been made of stone.
Discord didn't look at her. "You know you'll be fine, right?"
"Mmhmm."
"Just remember your friends and family are just through that door. Even with all you've faced down, all the good you've done, this will be your happiest day."
Twilight swallowed. Discord was right. Of all her success, all her triumphs, all the happy moments she could remember in her life, this moment would stand atop them all. All she had to do was face it.
She turned to thank Discord, but he had vanished. On the stained glass window now stood the same picture of the hall through the doors, but now she and Celestia stood at the front of the happy crowd, in the midst of a kiss. Twilight smiled.
The doors opened, and her father trotted through them quickly. He beamed as he saw Twilight, tears rising in his eyes. He rushed over to her and pulled her into a hug.
"You look amazing, my little Light," he choked out, swallowing around the lump in his throat. "I'm so, so happy for you."
"Thanks, Dad," Twilight said, the knot in her stomach soothing in his familiar embrace.
"Are you ready?" He asked as he pulled away from her. His eyes focused on her with laser attention as he took the moment and committed it to memory. "She's in there waiting for you."
Twilight merely nodded, stepping forward and to her father's side.
Night Light's horn glowed and the handles of the door lit up. He gave Twilight one last proud look and opened the doors.
There was the brief sound of voices, but they quickly stopped as the music that had been playing quietly behind the conversations swelled into the familiar wedding march. Twilight watched as everything seemed to move in slow motion, the doors opening a hair's length at a time. She watched as the ponies in the crowd turned their heads back to look at her. She watched as smiles formed on their faces and eyes widened.
She saw her brother, eyes red and watery, leaning against a beaming Cadence as Furry Heart waved from her place on top of Twilight Velvet's back. She saw Rarity and Fluttershy smiling softly at her. She saw the slightly bored look in Rainbow's eyes vanish and change into a bright focus as a smile broke onto her face. She saw as Applejack turned from her conversation with Pinkie, who's back left hoof and nose just stopped shaking. She saw Luna, standing at the far end of the hall, ready to minister the service.
And Twilight saw Celestia. Unadorned by crown or petryal, in a simple black and gold suit, staring right back at her. One moment coalesced into an infinity, the years spent by Celestia's side, the missives written and received, the conversations held and the confidences kept, all the time built into that moment. It became real then.
There was no feeling of anxiety. There were no butterflies in her stomach or half doubts in her heart. There was only the mare that stood there across the room and herself. There was only love.
And Twilight Sparkle walked with grace she didn't know she had, with her father beside her, down the aisle and towards love.
They exchanged no words as they stood across from one another with only eyes for the other. Luna spoke eloquently, and with good practice, and it reached the time for vows to be exchanged.
Celestia spoke first, and only to Twilight.
"For a long time, I was alone. I ruled and enjoyed doing it, but I was distant, separate. The years of Luna's absence took their toll on me, and I was afraid to be anything other than alone. Until I met you. You taught me how to laugh again. You've been generous to me when I haven't deserved it. You've shown nothing but loyalty to me, and I can trust you to be honest when so many others might wilt at the task. You are kind and forgiving beyond your years, and you have brought friendship back to my life. Without you, nothing would be as it now. And I don't ever want to imagine any world in which that is true. "
And then, Twilight, in soft tones and with ease.
"As my teacher, you taught me magic, and my world changed. As my mentor, you showed me friendship, and changed everything all over again. And as yourself, you helped me discover love, and nothing will ever be the same all over again. I love you, I have loved you, and I will love you from now until the morning of eternity."
Twilight and Celestia leaned forward and kissed, to the cheers of the crowd, separating only to look again into each other's eyes. And they went forth and lived a life of love.
