> An Unnamed Love Story > by OCisbestpony > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Chapter One: A Gentle Yellow > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter One: A Gentle Yellow It was a moment that I was never to forget. It had been a night like any other. I was late, just like most nights. Mr. Peters was teaching the lesson that night. Like usual, when I had entered, I had manged to draw the attention of more of the students than I had wanted, and like usual, I had cast my eyes over the crowd to see who was there. There was Ben, the popular kid, over to the right in the front, with Rob, an old friend not too far from him. A cluster of girls that I didn't know sat in the corner, as well as several men lining the wall to my right. In the center sat Caitlin, another old friend, along with a few others. To my left I saw several faces that I knew, but could not recall the names that attached to them. Not unusual. Finally, my eyes drifted to the far left corner. There sat 6 young women, most of whom I placed in their early to mid twenties. Normally, I would have dismissed the group as visitors and taken my seat next to a friend. That is, until I saw the one seated at the end. I paused, only for a moment, long enough to take in her general appearance, but not long enough to be caught staring. Quickly casting my gaze to an empty spot next to Rob, I made my way there and sat down. “Hey man,” Rob whispered, “how're you doin?” Her hair was pink... “Uhh...distractingly” I responded. “Really?” Rob asked, “Why's that?” She was yellow, that is, her dress was yellow... “Uh, I'll tell ya after the lesson.” I whispered back. She sat at the end of the row of what I assumed were her friends. One of them was well dressed, well groomed and well mannered. Another was clearly a country girl, at least, that's what the large cowboy hat, leather boots, and overalls said to me. The third in the row was clearly a nerd, if not a bit of a goth or punk. She had black hair that had a solid stripe of pink running it's long length. Next to her sat a mildly bored gal who was clearly there for the gym. She sat with a disinterested look, arms crossed, and hair dyed the colors of the rainbow (which was cut short). A true tomboy if I had to guess, almost the opposite of the one next in line. Decked in pink and light pastels head to toe, she sat with cell in hand, texting with the speed of a demon. Her hair was poofy, everywhere, and very, very pink. But it was not her pink hair that had made me pause. The last of the 6 sat quietly, staring intently at Mr Peters. Her hair was long, almost to her waist. She wore a simple, modest yellow dress, with a light jacket. Granted, what I assumed to be her friends, were cute in their own rights. She however, possessed a simple, yet elegant beauty. She was unassuming, and I could tell, inherently shy. It was strange. I had never considered myself to be the sort of man to consider physical attraction. But there was something about her. Yes she was pretty, but there was something deeper than that. Something deeper than her eyes, her hair (which I must admit, I do have something of a weakness for pink hair), or even her shy demeanor. I know shy when I see it, I had spent many, many years bound by its chains (which chains, though smaller and lighter, I am yet still ensnared with), and she was a classic case. But yet, there was a layer there. Something underneath it. Mr. Peters' lesson was about the same as it always was. Informative, if not a bit too focused at parts. One of the visiting girls, who's name was apparently Twilight (at that point I was sure she was a goth nerd), answered question after question. I could tell she was rather proud of her rather extensive knowledge. Yet, whenever she spoke, the other 5 always seemed to give her their attention. They were close. Again, I could tell. They were comfortable around each other, and often whispered to one another. Well, three of them anyway. The one named Twilight, her well groomed friend, and the one who my mind would not abandon despite my efforts, kept to themselves for the most part. From time to time I would cast a glance over to the curious group. And each glance would end with me looking at her. I had no idea that pink and yellow worked so well with each other! I shook my head. I both loved and hated talking to shy people. I loved bringing them out of their shell, but sometimes what was inside was...unfortunate. I hoped that perhaps I would get to see what she would be. That is, if she would be pleasant, or a bitter memory. The lesson ended, and as usual, I got up and began to make a bee line to the cafe for some refreshments. Then the voice came. That little voice in the back of my head that tells me what it is that I really want to do. The same little voice that tells me, in no uncertain terms, that ignoring it will end in guilt. The voice made me think of her, the one at the end. It told me that I should go to her right away, and that I should introduce myself. I shuttered at the thought. But, knowing how tenacious that voice could be, I halted by the door way, and turned around. I decided to take a moment and see what she was like amongst her friends. I was unsurprised to see that they first began talking only amongst themselves, but then the more sociable ones began talking to other people. I knew then that they were the ones I had little interest in. They blended in rather quickly, with the athlete dashing off to the gym's court for some basketball (it was tradition for several of the students to unwind with a game or 10 after class). The others began chatting with just about every one they could. All of them, save one. She sat there,staring off into the distance. I could see it in her eyes, she wanted to go, but was too nice to say any- “Hi! My name's Pinkie Pie! What's yours?” both my line of thoug- “Oooh! Who's this?” -ht and eyesight were interrupted by the young lady with demonic texting abilities. Glancing behind me, I saw Caitlin standing there with a look of surprise. “Uh, her name's Caitlin. And my name's Taylor, what did you say your name was again?” I responded. “Pinkie Pie!” she answered, an odd name to be sure. “Pinkie Pie?” “Yep! Well, my ACTUAL name is Pinkamina Diane Pie, but everyone just calls be Pinkie for short! I mean, could you imagine what it would be like if I had to run around and that that name to everyone I meet? It would take SOOO long just to introduce myself to anyone, and it would be SO boring, not to mention how annoying it would get! I mean, could you imagine if I had said that? You'dve been like, this girl is sooooo boring, and has a really long name. So, I just shorten to Pinkie so that everyone doesn't have to say my full name!” If my face had to be expressed in text language, it would be a capital O, a period, followed by a small o. That is, my internal face, for I didn't want her to see my sudden confusion. Her sudden barrage of information, which was at a speed to match her texting, was overwhelming. Caitlin, however, was giggling, as was Pinkie. Confused, I looked between the two, causing them to laugh even more. “What? What is it?” I asked. “It's-it's-it's your face!” Pinkie managed between laughs. Even more confused, I turned to Caitlin, who began to laugh even harder. It was about this time when it finally dawned on me; my 'internal' face had become my external face.. I found myself almost wishing I had a mirror to look at. “Ah, you know, I think you've won this round. Well done. Well done...” and with that, I stepped to the side, omitting myself from the conversation. At least, that was the hope. Quickly, before the moment passed, I slipped past my bubbly pink barrier, leaving her to speak with Caitlin. I began to make assumptions. She was going to be awkward, she was going to be hard to talk to, she would have nothing interesting to say, I would just spend the whole time talking, amongst other thoughts. One thing was for sure, she was open for conversation. Behind me I could hear the laughter of Caitlin, coupled with Pinkie's. In front of me however, sat her quite friend. Swallowing my fears, and gathering my courage, I spoke: “Hi there, my name's Taylor.” She looked up at me, locking her gaze with mine. Blue-green. Her eyes were blue-green. “Oh, um,” she looked down, and fidgeted with her hands a little. “Hi.” It was unusual for someone to not give their name after giving them yours, but that was alright. “So, how long did it take for you to get here?” She was quiet. Conflicted, I was unsure whether or not to press the issue. On the one hand, I wanted to hold her like a father would her cowering daughter and reassure her that there was nothing to be afraid of. On the other hand, I wanted to run and hide. Unsure, I stood there. “Hey there Fluttershy, who's this?” came a heavy southern accent from behind me. I turned my head, and she lifted hers. “Oh! Hey Applejack. We...um..I...um...well...” she had started. With a chuckle, this Applejack turned to me, “This here's Fluttershy. She's right and shy, but a nice gal all the same. What's your name?” she asked sticking her hand out. Taking it I responded, “Uh, my name's Taylor, and your name is Applejack?” The strength and vigor of her handshake caught me off guard. “Yeah huh! But y’all can call me AJ, everybody else does!” If one thing could be said about AJ, she was not afraid to be friendly. Checking to be sure I heard her right, “AJ?” “Yep” she simply answered. “Well, alright AJ, where y’all from?” I asked, rather curious as to the origins of such a uniquely named group of young ladies came from. “Eh heh heh, That's a long story right there you see. Basically, you can say we're from New York City.” she said. I cast a glance towards Fluttershy, she was looking off to the side. She was the one I really wanted to talk to. Nothing against AJ, but she was not shy, and having been shy myself, I always felt the desire to understand the shy ones. “New York you say?” I started, “What brought you all down here...” The rest of the evening was filled with the usual small talk and laughter. I learned from conversing with the others that AJ was indeed a country girl, and that she had moved in with some relatives for the time being to help them with their farm. Rarity, the well dressed and groomed one, had come down from New York to research what people in this part of the country were wearing. Apparently she ran her own fashion boutique in the Big City. Pinkie Pie was here for a bakery apprenticeship, and apparently she already had a huge network. Twilight was here for school, she was apparently going for a PHD in teaching, sociology, biology, and auto-mechanics (one can get a PHD in auto-mechanics?), just to name a few. Rainbow Dash (technically her name was Rain Dash, with her middle name being Bow), as she was called, was apparently here studying to become a meteorologist. Though it looked as though she seemed more interested in sports. Apparently, they were all living near each other just about 40 minutes outside of town. Fluttershy however, was here to become a vet. It had come as something of a small surprise. Truth be told, I would have expected her to be a nursing major. Given her quite nature, and the gentle demeanor that she gave off, I figured her perfect for that job. She had a peaceful aura about her, and a natural beauty. He hair was well maintained, and her clothing simple and modest. I shook my head. The road. I needed to focus on the road. I was driving home at this time, running the events of the evening through my head, but each time it just ended up with her. Like a bad driver, my mind kept drifting to those thoughts. The drive home had been, much like every night, quite and full of techno music. Even walking into my home, with the customary declaration of my arrival, met with with the typically unenthusiastic greeting of 'hello', was all normal and par the course; save her. Upon walking up the stairs to the higher level of the home, I toyed with the idea of telling my roommate about her, but decided against it. I quietly peeked into his room to see what he was up to, then retired for the night. The week had passed with little excitement. Each day had been much the same; awake at noon or 1pm, shower, pasta for breakfast, video games, work (always the closing shift), fast food if Tuesday (payday), more pasta, more video games, then sleep. DnD over the weekend, church on Sunday, work in the evening. Then more and more of the same. It was a rhythm that I had grown accustom to. A rhythm of comfort, that had been shattered. Over and over again, my mind would drift to her pink hair, that yellow dress, those blue-green eyes (why, oh why did blue-green have to be one of my favorite colors?!?). I found myself begging to worry. What worried me most however, was the fact that I found that I had taken a liking to thinking about her. It was so strange, thinking about her was...guilt free. Wholesome, almost … rig-no. I couldn't get into a relationship. I didn't want to get into a relationship. I couldn't afford to do so! The last thing I wanted was … I didn't even know. This was always a ground that I loathed to tread upon. Therefore, as a result, the drive to class was a long, and dreadful one. On the one hand, I wanted to see her and my other friends, but on the other, I feared what may come about if we talked again. I hoped, almost prayed that for some reason, she would not be there tonight. But then again, I tried to tell myself, perhaps we could just be friends. There was no need to become anything deeper than that. Inside, I could feel the conflict, and I knew which side was winning. It was a weak front, but I tried anyway. As was normal, I was about 20 minutes late. And, as was normal, I walked in through the door in the rear of the classroom, and as usual, drew the eyes of a few people. Without my control, and against my will, my eyes immediately shot to the spot where she had been sitting last week. A mixture of both fear and hope filled my chest. In a single moment, I would know if she had come, and in a single moment, I would know where my focus would be, and in a moment, I would know what power held my heart... > Chapter Two: A Soft Yellow > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter Two: A Soft Yellow “He he he,” she chuckled, “if I didn't know better Futtershy, I'd say that that guy was into you!” laughed AJ. “That was SO a foul. Whatever!” Rainbow mumbled to herself in the back seat. Her first game of basketball there had been fun, but it was clear that there were really only a small handful of people who actually knew how to play. Fluttershy was a little embarrassed by AJ's comment, casing her to blush a bit. “Oh, uh, well, umm...” “Oh really?” started Rarity, “A nice young gentleman approached you did he? Was he handsome? Was he charming? Do tell us!” her eyes lit up, eager to hear all about her friend's brush with romance! “Actually Rainbow,” Twilight started, “according to the official rules and regulations of Basketball, that wasn't a foul at all! In fact, according to-” “Didn't you see him?!?” Rainbow cut her off, “he totally pushed me!” “Excuse me Rainbow,” Rarity said, “if you don't mind, Fulttershy here was just about to tell us all about the strapping young man that approached her tonight!” “Um...well...” “Boring! Last I checked, Basketball was WAY more interesting that who's dating who!” Rainbow said, rolling her eyes. “Rain. Bow. Dash!” Rartiy said with an air of command, “This is your good friend Fluttershy we're talking about here!” “Wait, Fluttershy is dating someone?” Pinkie suddenly asked, looking up from her cell. “Who, who, who, who, who?!?” “A young guy by the name ah Taylor or Tyler or somethin' like that!” AJ said (with a big grin) from the driver's seat. Considering her large truck was the biggest car of all of their vehicals, it only made sense that they all crammed themselves into it. It did, after all, seat 6. “OOOOHHHHH,” Pinkie said turning to Fluttershy (who was sitting next to her in the back), “Was he cute? What did he say? Did I meet him? I bet I did, I met everyone there! What was he wearing? What color was his hair? Was he cute? Did he ask you out on a date? What are you guys doing? Is it a movie? Where? What are you going to see? Can I come? Can I bring some friends? OH OH! I know! Why don't we-” “PINKIE!” Twilight quasi-shouted, “give her a chance to answer!” she said as she turned around to face them. Pinkie was sitting next to the window, Fluttershy was in the middle, and Rainbow was next to the other window. Twilight was in the center front herself, with Rarity next to the window and AJ driving. “Oh! Sorry about that Fluttershy! What were you going to say?” Pinkie asked. “Uh...well..” Fluttershy started. “I bet he was a gentlemen wasn't he?” Rarity said. “Rarity! Give her a moment!” Twilight snapped. “Now now,” AJ said, “No need ta get all huffy.” “I'm not getting 'huffy'!” Twi responded, “I'm just trying to give her a chance to tell us about her new boyfriend!” “He's not my...” “Oh yeah?” Rainbow cut in, “then why are ya still talkin huh?” she said with a smirk. “BECAUSE I...” Twi started, but then caught herself, turning red. She was a little upset that she had fallen into Rainbow's little trap so easily. AJ chuckled, “Well alright then, go ahead Fluttershy, tell us all about it.” She hesitated for a moment. “Well … he said hello...” “Uh huh. Then what!?” Pinkie said. “Let her finish.” responded AJ. “Well, um, I said hi.” she looked up, glancing at her friends. She was hoping someone would jump in so she wouldn't have to keep talking about it, but the whole truck had fallen silent, and all eyes (save AJ's of course) were on her. “And … um … that was about it. He was … nice.” “Did he ask your number dear?” Rarity inquired. “Well, no” “Did you get a date?” Pinkie questioned. “No.” “Did you swap notes?” Twi asked. “Um, no” “Did you at least get his name?” Rainbow sighed. “Well … I did get that.” Fluttershy meekly responded. There was a moment of silence. “Well, what was it?” Rainbow suddenly asked. “I told ya! It was Tyler or somthin like that!” AJ piped up. “Actually, it was Taylor” Fluttershy corrected. “Was he cute?” Asked Rarity. “He was lame.” Rainbow answered. “Rainbow!” shouted Rarity, “Have some manners!” “What? He totally was! He didn't play any basketball.” “Perhaps books are more his thing.” speculated Twilight. “Maybe,” started AJ, “he did talk all proper like.” Fluttershy went quiet. Her friends had begun talking to each other, not allowing much room for her to pipe up and say anything. At the moment, this suited her just fine. At the moment, she just wanted to think. The whole experience had come as a surprise. She hadn't expected to talk to anyone, nor had she the disposition to do so (not that she ever did anyway, unless animals were involved). Rather, she had expected to just go to the class, and then just sit around for awhile waiting for her friends to finish socializing. She had not expected anyone to actually walk up to her and try and talk to her. But that night several people had. That said however, he was really the only one who said much to her. There were a few others, but his demeanor, his tone of voice, it was different then the others. Deep down, she had wished that she had answered his question. But she didn't know him, and being as shy as she was, she was afraid to talk to him anymore. Indeed, she was both relieved and a little sad when AJ jumped in. He did seem … nice. The ride home was quiet, save the constant conversation about Fluttershy's new 'boyfriend', of which she had very little part. So, in truth, it was not the ride that was quiet, but Fluttershy. This caused the ride to be a little awkward, and a bit longer than needed. But at least she was with her friends again, and that at least put her at ease. It was after all, the only thing she loved more than animals, that is, spending time with her friends. “See y'all later!” shouted Applejack as the others got into their cars. Fluttershy stood there next to the truck quietly. They had all found a nice park 'n ride to meet up and then car pool from. She watched as Twilight got into her simple, yet functional car, Rainbow into her old, but fast car, Pinkie into her ice cream truck (it's how she made money on the side), and Rarity into her nice purple car. Fluttershy lived with AJ on her uncle's farm while she was down here. Considering that she wanted to one day be a vet, it only made sense to her to live on a farm to get hands on experience. The slamming of doors and the roaring of engines signified the end of the day. Each left to go home, leaving AJ and Fluttershy alone. Turning, AJ smiled at Fluttershy before hoping back into her truck. She stood there, in the orange light of the park n' ride for a moment before walking around the truck and getting into the passengers' seat. The heavy slam of AJ's door startled Fluttershy as she softly closed her door. “You alright sugarcube?” asked AJ with a note of concern in her voice. “Me? Oh, I'm fine.” smiled Fluttershy. “You sure you're alright? You were quieter than a hog-tied horse tonight.” AJ said with a raised eyebrow. “Really … I'm fine.” came the meek response, “I was just thinking about class, that's all.” “Uh, huh. Sure you wern't thinkin' about that guy?” AJ said with a grin. Fluttershy blushed a little. Not for embarrassment (well, perhaps a little), but for irritation. The whole ride home all of her friends had been calling him her 'boyfriend', and she was starting to be rather irritated by it. “No!” she said while dropping her head and closing her eyes, “And I'd appreciate it if you'd stop calling him my boyfriend! All he said was hi, and all I said was hi back!” her face was a little red. AJ was taken aback, “Ok ok, no need to get in a tussle about it. I didn't mean nothin' by it, I was just playin. It was just all a bit of fun.” “Well,” she paused for a second, “I don't think it's fun!” “Alright. I'm sorry. I didn't mean ta hurt your feelin's or nothin' like that.” Fluttershy took a couple of breaths. She opened her eyes, lifted her head, and looked out the windshield, then out of her window. After a moment's pause, and a sigh, she turned to her friend; “It's Ok. I know you didn't mean to embarrass me or anything like that. I just … I just … I just wish you guys wouldn't tease me about that.” AJ nodded her head. “Well, you know, sometimes ya just gotta loosen up ya know? I mean, we were all just kiddin with ya, it's not like we actually thought that he was your boyfriend or anything like that.” She turned her head forward as she turned on her truck, and with a mighty roar it came life. “An't no harm in just a little teasin'!” AJ shouted over the sound. Putting the truck in reverse, AJ slammed on the gas and turned hard left. The sudden jerk made Fluttershy squeak with surprise as she hurriedly grabbed her seat belt and hastily attempted to buckle in. Then with a loud roar, they were off. “I … I guess so...” Fluttershy said after they were on the road for a few minutes. “Kiddin aside, you know what I think? AJ said. “What?” “I think you should talk to him next time.” “WHAT?” Fluttershy's face suddenly felt very hot. “I mean it! He was nice o' nough to try an' talk to you right?” “Y-yeah, I guess so...” “So next time when he walks up and asks ya somethin', say somethin.” “You really think I should?” “Why not? Way I see it, y'all got nothin ta loose. I'd reckon he was just being neighborly. Nothin' wrong with makin new friends right?” “I guess not...” Fluttershy was unsure about that. It had taken a good long while for her to make the friends she had now. The idea of adding more friends seemed almost … scary, and disrespectful. It seemed almost as if her making new friends would somehow be an insult to the friendships she had worked so hard to make. That aside, what if he didn't like her? What if he just wanted to make fun of her? What if he wanted to be more than friends? That thought was really scary. “Oh come on Fluttershy!” AJ said, “Just relax a little would ya? It's not like he's gonna ask ya ta marry him!” Fluttershy's face suddenly caught fire. It burned with a great heat, and was redder than one of AJ's apples. Reflexively, she covered her face with her hands, only then to bury her face into her lap. “Ugg.” AJ groaned, “Seriously, just stop thinkin' so hard about it would ya? Y'all an't doin no one no good by thinking about it that much. Looka here, he probably just wants to be your friend, alright?” “You, you really think so?” came Fluttershy's muffled response. “I do, so you can stop actin' like a fool and sit up straight.” “Oh...” she hesitated, “Ok then...” Slowly she sat up and straightened up, her face still burning. Romance was something that she had thought of, but it had always seemed so important, so serious. She had always thought it was something that took a very long time to form, and that it was a connection to another on the deepest level possible. It went beyond life and death, it was... “We're home.” AJ cut into her thoughts. “Huh? Wha-?” Fluttershy suddenly looked around. Sure enough, they were back at the farm. She had become so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't even noticed. “Now come on lovebird, let's get some sleep alright?” AJ said with a yawn. Fluttershy's face became buried once again. “Oh for Pete's sake!” AJ exclaimed. It was 1am. Sleep, like her senses, was lost. She was the kind that, much like the earth, soaked in everything that fell upon her. That's why she had loved her friends so much. They understood that, and though they would indeed tease her from time to time, they knew how far was too far. Tonight however, they had gone a bit too far. She tossed and turned. She wanted to sleep, but she couldn't. Her eyes were heavy, but her mind was was buzzing endlessly. She was still a bit upset over how lightly they had taken the whole thing. She felt frustrated. Maybe if she didn't go next week, then they would all forget about it. Maybe if she didn't go next week, he'd forget about it! She rolled onto her side. Perhaps that was the answer, perhaps she would just stay home... > Chapter Three: A Mild Yellow > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter Three: A Mild Yellow She was there. Fear, terror. Yet, I felt excited as well. This is exactly what I had been both hoping for, and fearing. I knew that my mind would be agonizing the entire night, torn in two, trying to balance what was right and what I wanted to do. I glanced about, trying to make it look as though I was just looking around the room, but catching the eyes of the country girl, I feared that I had been caught. Never-the-less, I kept up the act, and took note of who had come that evening. In the center sat Rob, and next to him Caitlin. I also noted several others who I knew, but most of their names escaped me at the moment. I noted an empty spot in the right corner, and decided to take it. It was fairly busy that night, and getting there was more difficult than I had liked. After taking my seat, my eyes (on their own) shot straight to where she was sitting. Had I been thinking about it, I would have been a bit surprised at what had happened. I could see her. Even with a full room, for some unknown reason, I had a clear view to where she was sitting. Looking back on it, that was an unfortunate fact, but at the time, it did not seem bothersome. I didn't get too much from the lesson that night. As I had feared, the entire night I was torn between filling a sense of duty, and desire, to speak to her, or simply avoiding her. I felt as though the right thing to do was talk to her, get to know her better, perhaps even befriend her. One thing I always hated was being the lone man in a crowd, and I assumed that others who stood alone amongst people felt the same way. So, feeling that I was meant to be the one to offer the hand of friendship, I felt it my duty to befriend them. That said, all I wanted to do was go home and sit in my chair and play video games. I didn't want to create a new friendship, those things took great emotional investment, and time as well. But, I still wanted to talk to her. Something inside, something that scared me, stirred. I could feel that I was attracted to her, but I had to deny myself. I had feared- My thoughts were cut off as Mr Peters asked me to answer a question. Odd, it was rare indeed for him to call directly on me. But, my mind had been distracted, and I had missed the question. “What was the question again?” I asked. With his usual smile, he repeated himself, “Can you name three famous scientists that lived within the past 100 years?” My mind raced. I could think of Hawkings, Einstine … and I drew a blank on the third. I began answering his question all the same. It was my hope that the third one would come to my mind while I was talking. Luckily for me, it managed to work out that way. The example I had used was Tesla. “Thank you Taylor.” Mr. Peters responded. “You're welcome.” I had responded. With that out of the way, my mind was free to return to what it had been pondering. My thoughts however, had been derailed. Not sure what it had been that I had been thinking about so hard, I turned my thoughts to the lesson. Yet, in the back of my mind, I knew what it had been. The lesson ended. And I got up. I had remembered that there was something that I had forgotten that I had wanted to do. A faint voice in the back of my mind told me so. Instinctively, I turned my head to the side, and remembered all too suddenly what it had been. Fluttershy. My mind exploded when I caught sight of her. She was the same as she had been last week, but I could feel my desire to talk to her overpowering my fears. But then I froze. What would I say? I had nothing to say, or ask. All of my questions had already been asked, and I didn't know her enough to simply chat with. Perhaps if I simply retreated to the cafe, and waited for an opportunity to make a comment on something she would say, then perhaps we could begin a conversation. That was plan. I knew I was running away, away from my fears, but I was used to that. As I made my way out, I froze at the door. My ears could pick out her soft voice over the crowd. She was talking to someone. That was good, that meant that she was occupied and that I had free license to make my way out. After all, as long as she was talking to someone, that meant I didn't have to talk to her. But still I wouldn't move. The compulsion to speak to her was too strong. I had never felt it like that before. I had always been able to override it, or in some cases, ignore it. I was usually able to rationalize doing so, or to simply flee, but this time, it was too strong. I stood there, unable to move, yet unwilling to leave. Taking a sigh, and preparing myself for impact, I turned and walked over to where Fluttershy was sitting. A thought crossed my mind as I made my way over there. Why hadn't Caitlin or Rob or really anyone said hi to me yet? Granted, I hadn't been anywhere near them, so they didn't really have a chance, but even so. I took a quick look to see if I could spot them, and to my surprise, I found that the social one, Pinkie I think her name was, was on a roll with Caitlin. I would be hard pressed to hear two people laugh harder then they were at that moment. I had hoped that perhaps she would've bumped into me, that way I might avoid what was to come, but that possibility was lost in a sea of mirth and giggles. There was always Rob. Looking around, I hoped that perhaps I could catch sight of him, but he was also busy talking to two others. The country girl and the goth-nerd. Apparently they were just starting a rather serious discussion, one that I suspected would cause them to linger in the room after everyone had left, as seemed the norm for those sort of discussions. I figured it was only a matter of time before Mr Peters would become involved as well. Another down. It seemed like there was only one other option; flee for my dear life. Taking a quick glance behind me, I saw the fashionable one holding another discussion with a few others in front of the door, blocking any chance of escape. The last one, the tom boy, was already gone, and I could already hear the shouting of players and the slamming of the basketball. There were no excuses. I was trapped. Looking ahead, I saw that whoever she had been talking to had left, for she sat all alone. My heart stopped. There was no escape. It felt as though there was an invisible wall before me, and I knew that passing through the wall would land me on uneven ground. I would be standing in a terrifying place, alone, and full exposed to whatever would come. I stepped towards her, through the wall, and right into that land of terror. After a few steps, I was within talking distance. If not for the fact that I had been looking at her the whole time, I could have simply stood near by and acted as though I was waiting for the room to clear out, as awkward as that would have been. But my eye contact made me committed. I had to open my mouth. Just be friendly Taylor, just say hi, tell her that you're glad to see her again, and try and mean it... Ok, let's do this; “Hey, glad to see you again.” I paused, “Sorry if I was a too talkative last week.” I waited for a response. She looked up at me with surprise in her eyes. She quickly looked away and softly spoke, “Oh … that's ok. It … it's not a big deal...” I took a large internal sigh. I decided that I was going to be in this one for the long haul. I'd done this before, just ask a lot of questions, try and get them to talk as much as possible. I took a seat. “So your friend there...” I signaled with my hand towards the country girl, waiting for her to fill in her name. She looked at me, and looked over to where I was pointing. “Twilight?” she asked. “Not that one, the other one, with the hat thingy” I said with a bit of a joking tone. “Oh. That's Applejack.” “Ah, I see. Yes, that's the one! She told me that you were here to train to become a vet?” Her eyes lit up a bit, but she was still hesitant. “Oh, yes, I am...” she sort of trailed off. This was going to be difficult. “So I take it you like animals then?” “Yes, I do! Very much.” she lit up a bit more. Looks like I was going to have to dig a bit more. “What kind of vet are you going to be? Dog? Cat? African lizard toad?” I said that last one with a bit of a smirk. “African lizard toad? But there's no such thing!” “I know, I just said that to be funny.” “Oh.” Ugg. She was going to be a tough one to carry a conversation with. “So, what kind of vet do you want to be?” “Well ... I really like small animals, but right now I'm learning how to take care of bigger ones.” “Really? Where at?” “Oh, at Applejack's farm.” The conversation went much like that for the rest of the evening. My asking questions and her answering them. It was a difficult conversation to have, but one that I hoped she appreciated. It was a bit hard, but I could tell that if I did this again, then perhaps we could strike a friendship. I began plotting out the course of events in my head. To me, it seemed like an easy relationship to understand. With each conversation I would perhaps become more comfortable, and perhaps she would as well. The next conversation might be less forced, but still forced none-the-less. Perhaps the time after that I might have the chance to spend time with her in a less formal setting. Perhaps in Caitlin's house, or perhaps at Rob's place. I figured that we would gradually become friends. Which is why what came next came as a total surprise. We had just finished talking about cat claws when the words sort of blundered out of my mouth: “Hey, you wanna go to the pound sometime? I'd love to hear what you'd have to say about the animals there.” I froze. Did … did … did I just say that? Did I actually just ask her to spend time with me after only the second time meeting her? My heart skipped a beat. Why did I say that? And the pound of all places? I hated the pound! I loved those animals, and the ide- “Oh!” she half-exclaimed half-gasped, “I didn't know there was a pound here! That would be lovely!” My heart stopped. I was screwed. She had said yes. I would have to walk into that awful place with someone I barely knew, and on top of that, I would have to act interested in whatever she would say. I let out an internal groan. What had I done? This could only end poorly. This was going to be the most awkward experience I had faced in a good long time. And yet, it felt as though all of my dread was only a farce, which scared me more, for that meant something else was hiding behind it. “But I don't have a car...” she trailed off. Ah! An escape! I could just simply shrug and say, I guess another time, but as I opened my mouth: “Well that's all right!” came a heavy southern accent from behind me. “I can give y'all a ride Fluttershy. Where an' when?” Fluttershy's eyes lit up as she looked over my head at her country styled friend. I turned around. “Huh?” I was caught a bit by surprise. “I said that I can give her a ride, I just need 'ta know where I'mma goin and when we need 'ta be there.” Applejack responded to my blank face. “Oh. Ok then. Well, how about tomorrow? I'm free.” I answered. “What time?” Applejack asked. “Uh, say about … 3ish?” I figured that would give me enough time to get up, shower, and be ready for the day, assuming that I would wake up at noon or 1. “Great! Now, where is it?” she asked crossing her arms and leaning against the desk. “Uh, it's off of Rosemont. Just head past the old theater, or about halfway, I'm not exactly sure. But it'll be on the left.” I said with some hesitation and a shrug. I was not one hundred percent sure where it was, but that seemed about right. I had been there before, and I had passed it from time to time. “Got it! We'll see ya there. Come on Fluttershy, we gotta go.” Applejack said while pointing a thumb at the door. “Oh! O-Ok then. Well, see you tomorrow, I guess” She said as she stood up, keeping eye contact the whole while. She was so lit up. She was so kind... I shook my mental head, “Great, I'll see you at 3ish then! Have a good night.” “Why thank you. You too!” she said with a smile. “Yep, sleep tight ya hear?” said her friend. “Thanks, night.” I responded while they walked out of the room. Great, now she would be there and overpower the whole thing. Talking to Fluttershy would be out of the question, save for a few moments when I could try and force the conversation to include her. But still, perhaps it will work out anyway. Even if I was confused. What had just happened? Did I really just straight up ask her to do that with me? Taking a look around, I saw that most people had left the classroom at this point. Not sure whether or not if I wanted to go home just yet, I wandered to the cafe to see if anyone I wanted to chat with was still here. Approaching it, I could hear only a few voices, and some loud laughing. Walking into it, I saw Caitlin and a few others who names eluded me, including the texting demon. She was the center of it all. Everyone in the room was listening to her talk, rant, joke, whatever it was that crossed her mind. Granted, while I found much of what she had been saying amusing, I decided that it was time for me to go home, as everyone else seemed to be occupied. Tomorrow huh? Well, I guess I'll just look at it like I'm getting to know the new people and I'm acting as a means for them to become integrated. Perhaps she would eventually befriend other people and I wouldn't have to do things like these. Yeah, that was it, I was just acting as a 'welcome party' as it were. That was a filthy lie. And I knew it... > Chapter Four: A Wild Yellow > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter Four: A Wild Yellow He actually kinda cute alright. Not cute in the way that a guy looks nice, but more like the way a guy acts. He was bein' right 'n nice to Fluttershy, and that was all right by Applejack's book. He'd even asked her on a date! That thought just tickled her pink. Fluttershy, that girl who never talked to folks, was the third one to get a date already. Twilight actually won that prize, some nice feller asked her out almost as soon as they got here ('course she said no, but she did get asked first all the same). Some young guy from her school. Second was Rarity, she always liked goin' on dates, and she didn't waste no time in findin' some nice guys to take her to dinner. Not that Applejack would have expected anything less. But what blew her mind outta the trough was the fact that Fluttershy got a date! And before Pinkie even! Then again, she was never sure if Pinkie actually went on a proper date. She'd spend all sorts of time with all sorts of folk. Sometimes one-on-one, sometimes in big groups. Pinkie an't never called them dates, though Rarity would disagree. Rainbow's idea of datin' was goin' to an airshow or truck rally (or just playin' some basketball). Not that she never found anyone to go with her, she just spent more time a hoopin' an' a hollerin then talkin' or payin' attention to who she was with. But Fluttershy, well shoot, that girl was so shy Applejack was never sure if she even knew what a date really was. And here she was, getting one with a nice young man! Why then was Applejack jealous? She'd been on plenty of dates, even had her fair share of boyfriends too. Why then, was she jealous of Fluttershy? She was her friend! She should be happy for her. Was it because she had taken a likin' to him too? He was a nice feller, but it's not like she knew him or nothin' like that. Well, she was only a little jealous, nothin' too big. Only a little, nothin' too big, nothin' at all. At least, that's what she kept saying to herself on the ride home. It was a quieter than normal ride, or rather, AJ was quieter than normal. Fluttershy however, was much more talkative. She spent the whole ride to the farm speculating what kind of animals she would find at the pound, and if she should get some. She had asked AJ if she could bring them to her farm, and AJ had responded that she would have to check with her uncle. He needed help around his place, and new animals would just complicate things. Just like this feeling of jealously was startin' to complicate things. She didn't like this, she didn't like it one bit. The night passed without incident. And the morning came when the rooster crowed; before the sun was fully up. She awoke just about the same time as everyone else. Getting up, she put on her work clothes, and headed out. Breakfast would come a little later, and showering around mid-day. She was busy here, and that was just fine. The hard work would help keep her mind from thinking about things she didn't want. Around 9 or so, she ran across Fluttershy. She was tending to the pigs. Apparently, one had injured itself on a fence, and she was trying to mend its wound. She was talking to them in a soft voice, almost as if they were delicate creatures and speaking in louder tones would scare them. Then again, she was always doing that. Perhaps that was the secret to her success. Applejack stood there for a minute, her arms full with a basket of feed she was taking to some horses, and with a smile on her face. She thanked her lucky stars that she had friends like her. She always tried to be a good friend in return; it only seemed fair after all. That's why she offered her a ride for the afternoon. That thought caught in her mind. That's right, that was this afternoon wasn't it? It suddenly seemed all too soon. She suddenly wished that it was farther away, and that she didn't have to be there, or that she would be there alone. No no. She was not that interested in that guy, she bet he didn't even like country music. Given the way he looked, she'd guess he was more the kinda guy Twi would like. Why then … why did she feel this jealousy? It wasn't fair! Fluttershy finally got a guy who seemed interested, and this was how she reacted?! “Oh! Applejack! I didn't see you there. Are you alright? Did you need help with something?” Fluttershy asked, interrupting AJ's thoughts. Caught slightly by surprise, AJ hesitated a moment, “Um, uh, well, uh … nope. Just fine!” she let out a nervous laugh, “Just fine an' dandy, just takin' this here feed to tha' horses! Yep, nothin' else!” She let out a big grin. “Oh good. I was worried there for a moment.” “Why was that?” “Well, you had this strange look on your face, like you were worried about something, so I was wondering if there was anything I could do to help.” Fluttershy answered kindly. AJ was taken aback. Had she really looked that worried about it? Then again, she did tend to wear her heart on her sleeve. “Oh no, that's alright. Thanks anyway!” she said with a friendly smile. “Well, I gotta take care of those horses, they don't feed themselves ya know!” and with that she walked off. “Applejack!” Fluttershy called after her. Stopping, AJ turned around to see what she wanted. “I was wondering … um … well...” AJ rolled her eyes. She was in a bit of hurry at this point, and while she liked talkin' ta' Fluttershy just fine, it drove her up a wall the girl couldn't just speak her mind. “Well come on, spit it out! What is it?” Fluttershy's reaction was not what AJ expected. She recoiled as if AJ had just shouted at her. AJ paused for a moment. What was her problem? “Well? What is it? Come on, spit it out already!” AJ was getting slightly irritated. Fluttershy looked almost as if she was on the verge of fleeing. “It's … It's … It's nothing! I'm sorry I asked!” she said almost with tears in her eyes. AJ was about to say something, but bit her lip. She had no idea what she was freakin' out about, and it was starting to get on her nerves. “Oh for Pete's sake girl! What do ya want?!” AJ almost shouted. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Fluttershy fled. She ran quickly back to the main house, holding her face all the while. AJ let out a frustrated grunt. If that girl wanted to act like a drama queen, so be it! She didn't have time for it. So with that, she turned and walked to the stalls. Fluttershy knew she was a bit sensitive, and bit of a crybaby, but even so! She didn't know why Applejack was so upset; she didn't know why Applejack had yelled at her. She was only trying to help Applejack and yet she got so angry! It upset her, and hurt her feelings. So, doing the most sensible thing she could think of, she ran and hid. She also cried her eyes out. It was about an hour later when she heard a knock at the door. Looking up from her pillow (which was not yet quite dry) she looked at the door with groggy eyes (for she had almost drifted off to sleep while she was crying). She sat there for a moment, her half-awake mind not quite processing the event. The second knocking knocked her out of her stupor. She shook her head, got up quickly, and opened the door. There stood Applejack's huge uncle, Uncle Grapefruit. That wasn't his actual name, but he wanted everyone he knew to call him that, even his own children (though he also accepted Papa Grapefruit). “Hey, are you alright there darlin'?” he said with less of an accent than Applejack. Fluttershy sniffed, “I … I think so.” she managed. “What happened?” he asked kindly, walking the two of them over to her bedside, and then taking a seat next to her. He was a very busy man, even more so since Fluttershy and Applejack moved in, but he was an irrepressibly kind soul. No matter how busy he was, he always took time to talk to Fluttershy when she would run off and cry (which happened more than anyone really wanted to admit). “Well … I don't know! I was just talking to Applejack about the pigs when she suddenly just started yelling at me.” the tears started coming back. “A-And she looked like she was worried about something. So I wanted to ask her about it and … and, then...” she trailed off. Uncle Grapefruit smiled, and put a gentle hand on her back. “Well, I reckon she's just having a rough day. Don't take it personally 'little lady. She don't mean no harm.” He said with a warm, toothy smile. Fluttershy loved that smile. She sat there for a moment, letting that soak in. He'd said that before. And chances are, he'd say it again. Letting out a sigh, she collected herself. True, what had happened had hurt, but she was stronger than that. Applejack was her friend after all. She looked up into his eyes. “You're right,” she said softly, “I just took it too hard. I'm sure she has a perfectly good reason for doing that.” she gasped at a sudden thought, “Oh! You think she was upset about the pig that got hurt? I-I was trying my best you know! I really was!” At that Uncle Grapefruit starting laughing. It was a deep rumbling laugh, but considering that he was such a large man, that was no surprise. He truly was huge you see. He towered over everyone on the farm, standing at a staggering 6'7, and weighing most likely over 300 lbs, most of that just bulk. He wasn't fat, nor was he covered in muscles either. He was just, big. He also dressed the part. Jeans overalls with a plaid flannel shirt underneath. The bed also sank a little under his weight when he had sat on it. “Really girl!” he laughed, “Ya need ta' just relax a little!” And with that he gave her a firm pat on the back. His only real downside: the fact that he sometimes forgot how strong he was. That pat send Fluttershy flying off of the bed, and tumbling to the floor. He sat there for a second, taking in what he had done. “Good gravy! Sorry about that Fluttershy!” he apologized as he leaned over and picked her up. “Ow...” was all she could manage. That pat had also knocked the wind out of her. “You an't hurt are you?” He asked, giving her a quick look up and down. She shook her head. “Well, that's good. Sorry about that! I sometimes forget just how small you are girl! You need to put some meat on those bones!” he said with that big grin of his back on his face, “But like I was sayin', I'd bet she didn't even realize what she's done. Kinda like me. I didn't mean no harm by it right?” Fluttershy nodded. Air was not quite back just yet... “There you go. I know that Applejack cares about ya, so why don't you go and find her and talk about it?” She nodded again. Most of her breath was back, but she decided she would save her strength in case he said something that would require more than just a simple yes. “Good! I think she's about done with the horses, why don't y'all just head over there and see if you two can't make up?” And with that, he turned his back to her and left the room, leaving Fluttershy alone with her thoughts. She picked up the last shovel full, and dumped it into the large plastic barrel. Shoveling horse manure was not exactly Applejack's idea of a great time, especially since what had happened was on her mind. She planted the shovel into the ground and rested on the handle for a moment. Glancing out of the entrance of the stall she was in, and up the length of the stable, she remembered that one of the mares was expecting soon. Fluttershy had asked if she could help deliver the foal, and AJ's uncle liked the idea. She shook her head while a grin came to her face. Uncle Grapefruit treated Fluttershy like a daughter really. He seemed to take to her like mice to a corn field. She was happy for her though. Truth be told, she was worried whether or not Fluttershy would get along with him and his family. In speaking of which... Applejack squinted her eyes a little as she saw someone walking up to the entrance of the stable. It took a few moments for her realize that it was Fluttershy. She had spent the last hour looking at horses and their manure, so her eyes had grown unaccustomed to the bight sunlight. And considering that Fluttershy liked yellow, she was hard to pick out from the bright glare of the outside. “Well howdy Fluttershy!” she shouted while waving one gloved hand in the air. “What brings y'all over here?” Fluttershy looked surprised and glanced about, looking for the hidden place that Applejack's voice was coming from. “Hey!” AJ shouted again, “Over here! Turn to your left!” Obediently, she turned, looked down the way, and saw Applejack in one of the stalls in the back. With a smile, she walked over and joined Applejack in the stall. “Well then,” said AJ as she pulled up an empty crate to sit on, “what can I do for y'all?” She pulled another empty crate and tossed to Fluttershy, who managed to catch it and then sat on it. “Well, I just wanted to say...” she trailed off. AJ waited patiently. “Well, you see, um, I just wanted to, um...” “Yes?” “I just wanted to...” “Well come on girl! Whatcha' wanna say?” Applejack said with a laugh. “Well … I wanted to ask you … when are we leaving for the pound?” AJ stopped for a second. She had forgotten about it while feeding the horses. “Oh nuts! What time is it?” she asked looking around for a clock. “Uh, about 10:30?” said Fluttershy remembering what the last clock she looked at said. “10:30? Let's see,” she paused for thought, “It'll take about an hour to get there, and we're not too sure where it is … so, how 'bout 1:30? That sound good to you?” “Oh, that would be fine. But … um … could we possibly, if it's not a bother that is, put in some time to get cleaned up first?” “What? Why? We're just goin' to the pound.” AJ asked a little confused. “Oh I know, but I want to look nice for all of the animals!” she answered with a bright smile. AJ rolled her eyes, “Fine. Just clean yourself up around 1 or so, okay?” “Well, what about you? Won't you get cleaned up?” “You know I take a shower around noon. I'll be clean enough when we leave.” “Oh, ok then.” Applejack watched as she stood up and walked out. It seemed like that feeling had passed for the moment. Aside from her inability to just say things (this drove AJ crazy), that was a perfectly normal conversation. With a smile, she stood up and went back to work … barely aware of the feelings that were hiding deep inside of her... > Chapter Five: A Peaceable Yellow > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter Five: A Peaceable Yellow I awoke around 12:30pm or so. As was normal, I was mildly irritated with myself for that fact. Granted, I had been up until 5:30am playing games, but even so. It always felt like the day was over way too quick when I woke up half-way through it. Then again, I've always been something of a night owl, so the dream of an early arise time was something of a distant one. Even so, I hauled myself from my bed, trudged to the shower, and then sat down to a nice bowl of spaghetti with chunky pasta sauce. I looked at it with mild distaste. I loved pasta, I especially loved the way I made it. But literally having it for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner was getting a bit old. Even so, it was food and I needed to eat. As I did, my mind ran over the day. I had the day off, what did I want to do with it? Did I want to play video games all day? Chances are, I was going to anyway, so which game should I play? I wondered if I had any school activities to attend that evening. No, I couldn't think of any. Did I have any obligations I had to take care of? No, none that I could think of. Seeing as how my schedule was clear, I got up from the table and settled down into my bowl chair. As I did however, I felt something in the back of my mind. It was if I had forgotten something important. It was something that afternoon. I suddenly got the feeling my personal time was a lot less plentiful than I thought it had been. What was it? As the logo for my chosen game loaded up, it came to me. The pound! I nearly lept from my chair, and I began frantically looking for a clock, for fear that it was somehow past 3. Spying one, I saw that it was only 1:30. I took a deep breath. I was safe. Settling down into my chair, I turned my eyes to the screen. I had one hour before I needed to leave, might as well pass the time. “Where in tarnation is he?” Applejack said. It was 3:30 according to Fluttershy's watch. “Ya know, where I come from, it's considered polite to tell folks when you're gonna be late!” She let out an angry grunt. Why kind of guy tells someone that he'll be somewhere and then doesn't show up? “Did he give you his number?” AJ asked, turning her head to Fluttershy. She shook her head. AJ looked around. They were sitting in the parking lot, and Applejack was leaning against the side of the truck, while Fluttershy was still sitting in the passenger seat. It was fine day, there was a slight breeze with a small bit of chill in the air. AJ's patience was running out. First, she had to deal with Fluttershy's antics in the morning, then she had to clean the stalls, then she had to have a 'heart to heart' with her Uncle. And now this! She let out a breath; today was just not her day. “Maybe he got caught in some traffic?” Fluttershy offered. “Somthin' like that...” AJ replied. “At least, that had better be the case.” she added under he breath. She was in a tangle at the moment. She hoped that he would show, for Fluttershy's sake, but on the other hand … she wasn't sure. For some reason she couldn't quite put her finger on, she hoped that he wouldn't show. It was somethin' like, fear? Or was is more like anticipation? No. That wasn't it. She was all jumbled up. So, she bit her lip and decided that perhaps it would be better to try and set her emotions aside for the moment. At least, until they got home from this stupid thing... I was late. If I was a swearing man, I would have been doing just that. I kept looking at the clock, pushing it just a few more minutes, just a little bit longer. Next thing I knew, it was time for me to be there. I spent most of the trip wishing that I had at least gotten her number, or that I had not played for so long. As I turned off of the highway, I found myself both hoping that they would be there, and wishing that they wouldn't. Part of me hoped that they would have gotten fed up with waiting and just left. I would have felt guilty, but that would have been easier to deal with then spending the afternoon with them. As it was, I could see the pound up ahead. I suppose I would know what the case would be in just a few seconds. *** They were there. A ping of guilt and a bit of panic filled my mind. What was I going to say? What was I going to do? What were we gonna talk about? My mind filled with scenes of forced conversation and awkward moments. I was not looking forward to this … and yet, there was a sense of excitement. Part of me couldn't wait to start talking to her. Part of me was eager. What I didn't know was that she was feeling much the same. What I didn't know was that she too was both nervous and excited. She however, had a counter balance to her mixed feelings. She was excited to be at the pound, and that helped to focus her feelings. I however, did not want to be there, and that only made things worse. I noticed their gazes following me as I pulled into a spot and parked my car. I tried to think of some clever greeting to use as I got out of my car, but that was in vain. As I closed my door and made my way over to their truck, Applejack piped up and interrupted my thoughts, “'Bount time y'all showed up!” she shouted across the parking lot. I felt an addtional pang of guilt. I had no good excuse. And I could tell that she was irritated. She had tried to add a bit of good naturedness to that statement, but I could tell that she was annoyed all the same. Time to apologize, and mean it. Hopefully that would dispel the tension in the air. “I apologize. I had no right to do that. I'm sorry.” I said hanging my head slightly. Apparently Applejack was the sort of person who took punctuality rather seriously. Had I been looking, I would have noticed that Fluttershy, was confused, for she never knew her friend to be so rude. “Oh, that's Ok!” She chipped up. That put a little bit of a smile on my face. “What's important is that you're here right?” she asked. She had such a kind voice. “Uh huh,” snorted Applejack, “he only kept us waiting for thirty minutes!” she nearly shouted. I was taken aback. She was clearly mad. She was trying to conceal it, but it was bursting though the seams. “Uh, Applejack, it's alrig-” Fluttershy started. “No it's not alright!” she cut her off, “I've got a lot of things ta do today an waitin' around in front of some stupid pound is a' waistin my time!” she had her arms crossed, and was leaning against her truck still, but her eyes were fixed on me. At least, that's what I assumed the burning sensation I was feeling was (for I was still hanging my head somewhat, avoiding her eyes). That, and I knew that I had really upset her, and that really bothered me. I always tried to live my life so as to never upset others, so when I failed, it hurt. “I … I see. I didn't know that you would be so busy, I'm really sorry about that.” I said. I hoped that would help to repair some of the damage. “Sorry?” she shouted, “Sorry?! Darn tootin' you're sorry! Y'all can't drag a gal all the way out here an' then leave em' hangin around like this! It an't right! And then ya come up and act like you're all sorry like? I'm sorry mister, but where we're from, things don't work like that!” her face was red, or some hue of it. “And ya know what? We an't gonna stand for it! Come on Fluttershy, we're leavin!” and with that, she slammed shut Fluttershy's door, marched over to the diver's seat, and threw herself into the truck. The engine roared to life as she slammed her door shut, then, slamming her truck into reverse, she pulled out in a rush. I jumped back for fear of her hitting me (though she was far enough away that I was safe anyhow). Slamming her truck into drive, she peeled out of the parking lot and sped down the road and out of sight. I was crushed. I knew I shouldn't take her words personally, but I couldn't help it. I felt … dark … inside, for lack of better words. My whole self just felt awful. I had failed. I had really failed. I had screwed it all up, and it was all my fault. At least, that's what I believed. Had I been aware of what was going through Fluttershy and Applejack's heads, I might not have felt so awful, but since I didn't have a clue, I was left in the darkness of despair. She was mad. Fuming even. Truth be told, Fluttershy was actually scared. She had never seen her friend this mad before. Fluttershy was pressed against the window, trying to stay as far away from Applejack as possible. She was so scared. Was AJ going to yell at her? Was she going to get into an accident? Why did she yell at him like that? Was she mad at her? Was it her fault? What did she do? Her mind flashed back to earlier that day when she had talked to her about the pigs. Was she still upset about that? Fluttershy felt awful. This must had been her fault. If only she hadn't been such a crybaby, then Applejack wouldn't have been so upset at her! She started to cry. Applejack's eye twitched. A quick thought that she shouldn't say what she was about so say flashed through her mind, but it was quickly consumed in her anger. “OH FOR CRYIN OUT LOUD FLUTTERSHY! STOP IT!” she bellowed. “I'm sick of your constant cryin! Knock it off!” she shouted. Her hands were shaking. And she had trouble keeping her focus on the road. Her thoughts were out of control. All she could think about was how mad she was at Fluttershy and at that Taylor fellow. She was madder than she had ever been before. It seemed like everything just made her mood worse. The fact that she had to drive, the other divers, the time it would take to get back home, the fact they had just wasted two hours worth of diesel. Everything just made her madder and madder. Had she been in her right mind, the fact that she had just shouted at her very sensitive friend would also have made her angry. Had she also been in her right mind, she would have also realized just how much damage her jealous outburst had done. Or rather, she would have realized what her misplaced jealously had done. She had scared one of her best friends, and she also had exploded in someone's face. She had left two people feeling hurt. Not to mention she had ruined their days. Had she been in her right mind, she would have never done these awful things. As it was however, she was not. Had she also been in her right mind, she would have seen that van coming... > Chapter Six: A Broken Yellow > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 6: Part 2 I had heard the news the day after it had happened. Fluttershy and Applejack had gotten into a really bad car crash. Apparently, what had happened was that a large blue van had run a stop sign and crashed full speed into Applejack's truck, which was also going at full speed (on account that her road didn't have a stop sign). I didn't get many details, but Rob had told me that he was getting a group together to visit them in the hospital. He had asked if I had wanted to come, and I had said yes. After I hung up, I was in a daze of sorts. The whole day after the event in the pound parking lot, I had to re-convince myself that I was not a source of misery. It had been a long and terrible night. I'll admit, I almost cried. So when the news came that both of them were in the hospital, I was unsure how to feel. First, I was concerned, but a dark part of me was happy. I tried to squash such thoughts, but the memory of the day's events the day before still burned like an unhealed wound. During the day my mind had warped itself into thinking that not only was Applejack mad at me (and I thought that she was right to be so) but that Fluttershy was also mad at me. This lead to guilt. If I had not arranged for us to meet up, and if I had not been late, then this would not have happened. This was, as I had concluded, my fault. As quickly as I could, I had discarded that thought. I knew that it was not my fault, for I looked at fault as being intentional. This was an accident. Still, it was hard for me to see it that way. Though I wanted to I couldn't shake those feelings. I felt like an awful person. Did the harsh feelings towards Applejack that had passed through my mind cause this? Had I wished for this? My heart wanted to believe this, even though I knew that such things were beyond my control. I was torn. However, I felt that I needed to go. I wanted, needed to see them. I don't know how I would react when I saw them, and I was afraid of them, but with a drive that was beyond my character, I chose to go. That was my thoughts at the end of church. I was unsure what I was going to do about work. I was scheduled to work that evening, which conflicted with the visit. Needless to say, I found myself very distracted. How was I going to get to the hospital? Why on earth did I make the commitment to go when I knew full well that I had to work? There was no way I would have done that! But yet, I had. What drove me to go?!? I let out a roar of frustration. I was mad at myself, not only for putting work and this at the same time, but also because I couldn't figure out what on earth was happening to me. Something was affecting me, something that was making me do and say things I never would have said! But yet, something was driving me on, driving me to … I didn't know. Or perhaps, I did, but I was afraid to find out. As I hung up my phone, I turned on my car and sat there for a moment listening to the music I was listing to on my way home from yesterday. I knew what I had to do, but I was afraid to do it. Still, it had to be done. I pulled up my phone again, took a breath to gather my courage, and dialed the number. “Welcome to your Norris Foods at Grant Hill!” chirped the automated voice. I blinked and pulled my phone away from my face. I didn't dial the right number! I was suppose to be calling Rob and telling him that I couldn't make it, not calling my job! My thumb went to the end call button, but froze. I was doing something wrong. Very, very wrong. Ending this call now was the wrong thing. I was confused. “...press 0 for more options.” finished the happy voice. I pushed 3, the number for customer service. My hand started shaking. I was scared. “Hello, this is customer service. How may I help you?” asked a semi-familiar voice on the other end. “Yes, is Tanner in?” I asked, my words almost catching. I was in good graces with my bosses, but telling them that I couldn't come to work only 2 hours prior to my shift starting was not going to end well. “Let me check, who's calling?” she asked. “This is Taylor from produce.” I answered. “Alright, just one moment Taylor.” she responded as the line went to the hold line. It was going on about some sale they were having at the moment, not that I could understand the garbled automated voice anyway. My heart started pounding in my chest. I already knew that I wouldn't be able to get off. I already knew that it wouldn't work. “This is Tanner.” came the familiar voice of the store co-manager (well, one of two anyway). My mind froze for a moment. This was it. I didn't even know what I was going to say. “Hey Tanner, it's Taylor from produce.” “Oh hey Taylor. What's up?” he responded in a friendly yet professional way. “Hey,” my voice caught, “I just found out that a friend of mine was in a car crash and is in the hospital. I'm sorry, but I need to go see them, is there someone I could call to cover me? If you gave me a number or two I could call them.” I said. My face felt so hot. “Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that. Hey, listen, I can't really give you anyone's number myself, but if you call Edwin, who's still here I think, he could.” he said with a note of surprise, and perhaps some sympathy. “Thanks, I'll do that, and again, I'm really sorry about this, this just came up.” I apologized. “Hey, I understand, this sort of thing happens. Just call me back and let me know who is coming in.” “Thanks Tanner, I will.” I said as I hung up. Did I really just do that? Did I really just say that? Did I lie to him? Was that an honest thing to say? I didn't know. I hardly knew her-those two, yet, I had called them friends. Hand still trembling, I redialed the number for work... *** The drive had been longer than needed really. The weather had been mildly bad. Still, the mix of rain clouds and setting sun was something I had never seen before. I could see the golden sun between lines of clouds, with even more gold filling the spaces between them. The whole sky was a strange blend of tranquility with the threat of rain. It was surreal, yet so alluring. In truth, it was the most beautiful sky I had ever seen. It was hard not to simply stop and stare at it for a while. But, that said, it made the drive feel like a terrible journey. As I pulled into the parking lot of the school, I noted who was there. I was surprised. I had not expected such a large crowd. I counted about 10 or 15 people there. As I got out of my car, I noticed the general buzz of activity. The ones who were friends with Applejack and Fluttershy were tired (save the pink one) and had worried looks on their faces (this however, included the pink one). They were talking to everyone, and everyone was in a heavy mood. Understandable, considering that two people were in the hospital. I made my way to Rob to let him know I was here, but he caught sight of me first. After waving to call me over he called out for everyone to gather. Slowly everyone formed a circle, allowing Rob to speak to everyone with ease. “Hey everyone. Thanks for comin' out” he said with a heavy gravely voice. “So, what we're gonna do, is we're gonna head over to the hospital and we're all gonna park in the same area. Then we're gonna head up to their room, which was,” he looked over at Twilight, “A-234?” Twilight silently nodded her head. “Then I was thinkin' we could sing them a couple of songs and maybe give them a blessing if they wanted it.” Rob was a rather pious man, so it would make sense that would be his game plan. He looked around to see if there were any objections, but the slow nodding of heads told him that there were none. “Alright, so I can take 3 in my car, who can take any more?” I found myself in the same car as Rob and two other guys who I vaguely knew. The ride there I was quiet for the most part. Rob and the other two guys struck up a lively chat, but for the most part, I wasn't part of it. I wanted to be left alone and they complied with my wish, outside of the typical pleasantries that is. *** I cried. I stood there, looking at her. I couldn't understand it. Why? Why was I crying? Not only that, my face was soaked. It felt like someone I really cared about had died. Yet, I knew that was not the case. I hardly knew either of them, and as far as I had figured, both of them were mad at me. Yet, I was only moments away from wracking sobs. Why? Why was I falling to pieces over someone I didn't even know? Try as I might, I couldn't hold myself together. She was still sleeping, as was Applejack. Both of them had been unconscious since the accident. We all were shocked at what we saw, and their friends were beside themselves, save Rainbow, who had walked out. They were wrapped in bandages and I counted 7 limbs in casts. Both of Fluttershy's legs were in casts, as well as her left arm. Applejack's left arm and left leg were both in casts. Both of their necks were also in casts. We were not allowed to get too close, let alone touch them. Still, everyone began gathering into that room as best as they all could, save me. I stood there in the door, still unable to move. However, as the group filed into the room, I began to lose sight of Fluttershy. Almost without thinking, I pushed my way over to her bedside, but still staying far enough away. Had I been aware, I would have noticed the looks people had given me as I had shoved my way to her, but my mind was elsewhere. I felt helpless. I wanted to help so bad. I wanted to take those bandages off and hold her until they healed. I wanted her to be better. I wanted it to end. I wanted it all to to end; her pain, her misery, I wanted to do something, anything, to help. But I knew I could do nothing. Suddenly, memories flashed though my mind. I remembered the time when that girl I had a crush on sliced open her finger. I remembered her bloody finger and her scream of pain. I had remembered how I had felt, how I had wanted to help, but I had no idea how to. I remembered how I wanted to comfort her, but I was unable to for fear of her finding out about my crush. I remembered how it felt to stand on the side and watch someone I loved suffer, and have no power to help her. I ran out of the room. I couldn't take it anymore. Yet, when I had, I turned about, wanting to run back in. Yet, I was unable to. There I stood, unable to leave, yet unable to enter. What was I going to do? I knew that I should be by her side, yet, I didn't know why. D-Did I have … feelings for her? Oh no. No, that couldn't be it! I didn't want that to be it! I took a small half-step towards the room. By this time, I noticed Rob had walked out, looking at me the whole time. It was clear he wanted to talk... *** Rob nodded his head quietly as I talked. I had spent the better part of an hour just talking to him about the whole thing, just sitting in his car in the parking lot. I had no idea how to feel, nor did I have any idea how to talk about it. Yet, he simply sat there, patiently taking it all in. I think he may have been just as confused as I was about it by the time I had finished my ramblings. I had told him that I was devastated because of what had happened. I told him that I was fearing that I was having feelings for her, and that I was in someway to blame for all of this. I mentioned I knew that was stupid, but I still felt like a guilty criminal. But most of all, I was unsure as to why I was crying so hard. After several moments of silence, Rob spoke up, “Well dang man. I totally know how you feel.” he said with a small smile. “Really?” I asked with mild disbelief and swollen eyes. “Yeah, I really do.” He said with confidence. “How?” I said with a bit more desperation than I had wanted to let on. “Well...” he began. He told me a story from his life. He told me of a girl who he totally could have had it going with. She was smart, hot, and a musician. She had interest in him, but at first, he just kinda blew her off. He couldn't remember why off the top of his head, but that didn't change the fact he kinda blew her off at first. Well, as time went on, he started to like her, but she was starting to move on. When he finally realized that he did like her, it was too late. She had picked some other dude. He had paused for a moment to fight back tears, then continued his story. Apparently, not long after he told her that he liked her, and she told him that she had liked him, once, she had moved south of the border and Rob never heard from her again. “You see,” he said at the end, “if I had realized that I had liked her from the beginning, then we could of hooked up. But because I didn't, I lost her forever.” That did not help. The idea of suddenly losing Fluttershy was … No, I couldn't think of it. I couldn't handle the thought. “Is she going to make it?” I choked out. I had no idea where those words came from, they just happened. “Well, they said that they’re both in really bad shape, but at least they're stable. I guess all we can do at this point is hope and pray.” He said with hope in his voice. Hope. Hope was something I would need. Her dreams were troubled. On the one hand, she dreamt that she was in a car, and that car hit the face of another. And yet, on the other hand, she dreamt that she would fly, and while doing so would care for the animals of the farm. They would glide alongside of her, and even speak to her. It made caring for them very easy, especially since she would find herself in an office from time to time. There was one problem however, her office would become the car. Needless to say, it made no sense. She could hear the noises of the wreck. She could hear the screams of Applejack suddenly ending, and feeling that moment of terror. She had lost sight of her, and when she couldn't hear her anymore, she feared the worse. Her heart stopped, skipped, and then raced. She tossed, turned, and even let out a scream. The Nurse in the room had turned to look at her. Letting out a sigh, she readjusted the straps and replaced the sheets. The poor girl did that from time to time. Her other friend was not much better. She was quieter, but was more restless. She reviewed the doctor's notes. The poor girls had several broken bones, as well as other injuries. Hence the need to strap them down. They had to keep them from moving too much. There was however, very little they could do about whatever it was they would dream about. Still, everything seemed fine here, so she grabbed her things and left the room. *** It would take almost 2 weeks for them to wake up. Applejack was the first to awaken. She was understandably disoriented. Her head hurt. She tried to look around, but found herself unable to move. She slowly came to realize that she was immobile. And when her vision came into focus, she realized that she was in a room of some kind. It was dark, and the room was lit by dim blue lights. One of her eyes were covered. She tried to move her mouth, and even though it hurt, she found that she could do so. Taking a moment to brace for the coming pain, she opened her mouth to speak. “Hello?” she managed. It was quiet, but she managed to say it none-the-less. For what seemed like hours, she waited for a response. She was terrified that she was alone. She could hear heavy breathings, but she had no idea who they could belong to. “Hello?” she said once more, fighting through the pain to make it louder. Finally, she heard a soft, but familiar moan off to her right. She let out a breath. Fluttershy was near her, and that thought brought her comfort. “Fluttershy? That you? You okay sugarcube?” she asked. “I'm … ok...” came the very soft and painful response. “I … it hurts though...” That's when it hit Applejack. Everything came to her. The crash, yelling at Fluttershy, making her cry, being angry at her, yelling at that Taylor fellow … all of it hit her, hit her like a truck. She was devastated. She was a wreck. In someways, her mind had suddenly become worse than her actual truck. Guilt shot through her. It consumed her emotions, and permeated into her every thought. All of it was her fault. Everything. It was her fault, she had yelled at her, she had hurt her friend when she needed her. And worst of all, she had stabbed her in the back. And now, she was hurt, perhaps even injured, perhaps even handicapped because of her! She had ruined her life! What had she done?! “Fluttershy!” she choked, “I … I...” she tried to speak, but she couldn't. Her tears were soaking her face and her throat was closing as she was trying to speak. There was a pause for a moment. “I'm so sorry! I ...I ...I'm so sorry! It's all my fault! I … I don't know why I did that! I … I can't. I'm so sorry! I didn't see it comin' and I didn't mean ta' shout at ya, and I...” she tried to keep talking, but the pain had finally caught up with her. Not only the pain of talking, but the pain of her guilt. There was silence for several moments. Or rather, there was only the sounds of Applejack's weeping and the sounds of heavy breathing. “Oh Applejack...” Fluttershy said softly. It was hard to hear her, everything Fluttershy said was so quiet. It was clear that it was difficult for her to speak as well. “It's not your fault...” “Yes it is! If I hadn't yelled at ya! If I hadn't been so mad … you wouldn't be like this!” She had tried to fight it, the despair, but like her tears which had burst like a dam, this too came unbidden and without ceasing. She felt that she deserved her fate. She had no right to be happy. She had no right to heal. In fact, she had no right to be alive... And she believed it. “Oh Applejack...” Fluttershy whispered. “You're not a terrible person.” “Yes I am...” whimpered Applejack. “Applejack...I forgive you.” There was another long pause. This time, Applejack was not alone in her crying. “Applejack, please, don't feel bad. I know you feel like all of this is your fault, but it's not! You're not a mean person, and I know you meant well, but we all make mistakes sometimes.” “Fluttershy, this an't some small thing! You may never walk again 'cause of me!” “I know. But at least we're alive right? And it means more to me that you're okay than anything else in the world.” Fluttershy was unsure how sincere that seemed, but she hoped that Applejack would realize that she meant it. To her, the fact that they were both alive was joyous in itself. She was overjoyed to hear the voice of her friend, for the thought that perhaps that she alone had survived had passed through her mind. “You … you really mean that?” she said softly, for the pain of talking was still there. “Of course I mean that. You five are the most important people in the world to me. Ever since I left home, you guys have been my family. And you know that I'm a shy person, but the fact that you all love me and care about me anyway … even when I'm being shy … well, that means...” she trailed off. She was unable to finish her sentence, for her heart caught in her throat. She had never done this sort of thing before. She had never needed to be a pillar of strength for someone else. Rather, it was always Applejack who had been so strong. But, in this dark room, she was finding the strength to be that pillar. Her love and concern for her friend was slowly overriding the pain. Her care for her welfare was strong enough to burn away the clouds of doubt. Applejack needed her, and she was going to be there! Applejack had always been there for her, and now it was her turn! She smiled. “...it means the world to me! You guys have always been there for me, even when I've been feeling down, or sad, or hurt. You guys were always there to help me up and lift me out of the dumps! I'm not a strong person, but when I'm around you guys, I feel so much stronger! Applejack,” Fluttershy tried to turn her head to look at her, but was unable to do so, but was able to catch a glimpse of her figure out of the corner of her eye. “It's ok. Everything is going to be ok...” she said. It was about this time when she finally became aware that there were others in the room. She could hear the muffled tears of several others. She was suddenly afraid. Had someone overheard her say all of that? Would they think she was being insincere? Would they think she was being too much? Her first reaction was to shrink and hide, but a very sharp pain stopped her involuntary reaction. Then, after a moment, she recognized one of those tears. “Pinkie?” she ventured. The cry was muffled no more as she burst full-on into open weeping. This caused the others who hid in the darkness to begin crying in earnest as well. She recognized the voices of Rartiy, Twilight, and Pinkie. She was surprised. She had no idea they were there. “Oh Fluttershy!” cried Twilight. “That was such a great thing to say! I knew you were kind, but I had no idea you were that kind!” “Fluttershy,” cried Rartiy, “that was so … touching!” she wailed. “I love you guys too!” shouted Pinkie. “I'm just glad you guys are alright...” said Rainbow with great difficulty. This surprised Fluttershy even more. She had not heard Rainbow crying. Then again, she had never seen her cry, even when she had broken her leg for the first time. There, in that moment, in that darkness, stood a moment in time. For a moment, Fluttershy forgot that she was injured. For a moment, she forgot that she was lying in a hospital bed. For a moment, everything was right. She was with her friends, no, her family, and that alone was enough. She knew, that whatever may come, she had them, and that they would have her. She knew, that whatever may come, they would never stop caring for her. Her tears, now of joy, stained her bandages. If they could, her friends would have given her a hug, but they could not. She knew that, and though she really wanted them to, she knew that it was ultimately a bad idea. “Girls, can ya forgive me for what I've done?” Applejack asked. “Can you forgive yourself?” asked Twilight. Applejack was silent for a moment. She knew what Twi was sayin'. She knew that they already had, and that they really only wanted for her to be happy. And she knew that she would need to forgive herself before she could really be happy. Twi was no idiot, that was for sure. “Applejack?” Fluttershy ventured. “Yeah?” Applejack tried to turn her head towards her. “I forgive you.” Fluttershy said softly as she drifted off to sleep. “Thank you...” responded Applejack as fatigue overtook her as well... > Chapter Seven: A Kind Yellow > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 7: A Kind Yellow The intervening months lasted forever. It took them a long time before they could actually leave their beds. The crash had taken a great toll on them. According to the official report, neither of them had their seat-belts on, and they collided at nearly 50 miles per hour. Expectantly, they had been thrown from the truck and into the road. Luckily, there was no other traffic. Both had terrible injuries, but at least both had survived and were on the road to recovery. Thankfully, they both had a lot of moral support from both the school and their friends. Even AJ's family came to visit. Her older brother, who only answered to the name 'Big Mac' and her little sister (who also only answered to her family nick-name of 'Applebloom') moved in with her uncle to replace her and Fluttershy. Even though this kept them very busy, they visited as often as occasion would permit. However, as it seemed that their world was slowly looking up, mine was slowly falling down. I went often to the hospital to visit them, and for the first long while I would spend much of the time telling Applejack that I didn't hold any hard feelings for her, almost ignoring Fluttershy entirely, but as the weeks rolled by, each visit became harder and harder. On the one hand, I wanted to see her more and more. On the other, it became harder and harder to see her. I struggled to understand why I felt this way. Why would I want to see Fluttershy so bad, but at the same time, want nothing to do with her? As I visited with her, it had become apparent that I was clearly developing feelings for her. Fight it as I might, I could not. Perhaps that was the reason I was so conflicted. I was fighting my feelings. I cherished those times when I would swing by their room, either by myself or with a group of friends. When I could, I would chat with her. Often the conversation was about animals, but that was fine with me. It was just good to see her be chipper. This however did little to elevate my mood. As the days ran by, I found my life slowly unraveling. For some reason, my relationship with my co-workers was worsening. I found myself more and more at odds with my friends, and everywhere else I found myself more and more withdrawn than normal. In all, it seemed as though my life was falling to pieces. What made it all the more difficult, was the fact that I held it all in. Not that I didn't talk about it to others around me, but the feelings, the angst, the frustration; I refused to let it all go. I was slowly coming undone, and truth be told, I was actually largely unaware of it. I was suffering, and I had no idea why, until one fateful day... It was a day much like any other. I had come into town several hours before class to visit the two girls for a little bit, after which I had planned on visiting a few other people. When I arrived at their room, Applejack was gone, but Fluttershy was sitting up in her bed, looking out of the window. It was open, with a slight breeze blowing in. She herself was wearing a long, soft yellow nightgown. Her long hair was loose and hanging all about her. I was surprised to see that it was so straight, considering that she still spent most her time in bed. For a second, I paused in the doorway. The scene seemed almost surreal. It was so peaceful. It took several moments, but eventually, I took a step forward. I suppose she heard me as she suddenly turned her head and reflexively retreated slightly. At seeing it was someone she knew, she relaxed. I walked over to a nearby chair and took a seat. As I did so, I thought of the many people who had sat in this very chair over the past two and half months. “Hey.” I started. “Hi.” came the soft the reply that I had come to know her so well for. “Where's Applejack?” I ventured, glancing at her bed. “Oh.” she paused for a moment, “She's at physical therapy.” Conversations with her always started off a little slow, but at least once they got going, it was fine. “How's that coming along? Last I heard you guys were only a few weeks from walking.” “Well...” she said, slightly embarrassed. Dang it. I spoke too soon. I supposed that she was embarrassed that she couldn't walk again just yet. “What I mean was I heard you guys were working on standing exercises.” I ventured, hoping that would seem less embarrassing. She was quiet for a moment. It felt like a very, very long moment. “Yes. We've been working on standing. It's still kinda hard, and hurts a lot. But it's not too bad.” “How's AJ handling it?” “She's doing alright. She doesn't like to admit it, but she's having a hard time too.” The thought of 'she knows nothing of a hard time' flashed through my mind. But I tried to brush it aside. What these two were going through was much worse than any pain I could be feeling, so what right did I have to even think that I knew more of suffering than they? “I'm sorry to hear that. But at least you guys are getting better, right?” I said with a small smile. “A little bit at a time.” She replied with a bit of a smile. There was a pause. The pleasantries had concluded, and it was time for the heart of the conversation to happen. Problem was, I had nothing to talk about. And so I sat there, waiting for something. Waiting for a topic to pop up. But there was nothing. We had exhausted every other topic I could think of. We had chatted about each of her friends, we chatted about everything she knew about animals (much of which was very interesting), and we had even chatted about the various people at school. But this time, there was nothing. And I hated it. There was nothing more I hated than forced, awkward conversations. And it seemed as if each conversation with her was just that, and yet, I kept coming back to her. Was it my sense of duty? Was it perhaps some form of guilt? Perhaps, but... “Umm … Can … I ask you a question? I-If you don't mind that is...” she stammered out, interrupting my thoughts. I was shocked. She had actually spoken out for once. That never happened. I was always the one leading the conversation. “Uh, sure, go right ahead.” I answered. “What are you thinking about?” she asked, looking into my eyes. Those eyes. That look. It was a look of concern, and yet, so kind. If the eyes are indeed the window to the soul, then hers was warm as the sun and as gentle as a breeze. I wanted to give her the simple, 'nothing' or 'not much' answers, but I was helpless. I could not bring myself to lie to those eyes. “Well, to be honest, about our conversations.” I responded. I figured that the best path was the honest one. “Oh … what do you mean?” “Well,” I began, pausing a moment to decide how I wanted to explain what I had been thinking about. “you see, I'm the kind of guy who likes to observe and understand things. As a result, I have a tendency to analyze the conversations I have with people. It's not that I judge them or anything like that, no no, it's not my place, but rather it's more like I like to look at them from...” and there I was, going at it again. It would happen quite often. I would begin talking, and I would never stop. I would explain whatever it was I was going to say like I was building a house, from the ground up. Then I would address a number of different points, and but always trying to keep in the main point. In my mind, this was the way to go. It made me feel like I was being smart, clever, and diplomatic. And it kept the other person I was talking to from getting a word in, lest they make the conversation awkward. Basically, it was an ego trip. Often, my purpose for going on these very long rants was noble enough (or so I believed), but I could not say that my intentions were entirely selfless. This time however, it was different. As I ranted, I could see in her eyes a total lack of attention. Seeing that, I decided to try something else. I ended my rant. I had never done that before, but it felt kinda … good. I wanted to say so much more, but I knew that most of it was unimportant. So, I asked a simple question, “But that's not what you were looking for, was it?” “Well, if that's what was on your mind, then I guess it was alright...” she said, almost timidly. “Sorry, I tend to talk too much.” I said, and I knew the exact words she was going to say next. “It's OK (or some would say 'alright'), I don't mind...” I almost mouthed the words as she said it. I refused to believe those words. “No, it's not OK, I hogged the conversation. And in my mind, a conversation is supposed to happen two ways.” I said with practiced frustration. I'm sure that it all sounded new to her, I found myself simply parroting the same words I've said before. Then, something I didn't foresee happened. She smiled at me and simply sat there. There was no counter argument, there was no expanding on what she had said. She just sat there, with that warm smile on her face. Never before had I found myself in that situation. It was as if she truly had meant it. I was never one to believe the kind words of others, but this was something else. I wanted to fill the sudden silence with words, but I stopped myself. Perhaps, just perhaps, there didn't need to be any words said. So I sat there, waiting to see what she would do next. The ball was in her court. I was uncomfortable looking into her eyes, for I feared that my feelings for her would escape the cage I had shoved them into. But, if I looked away, then that might prompt her to not say whatever it was she was going to say. So I took a quick, almost involuntary glance at the window. Then, acting as though something interesting had caught my eye, I continued to look out it. I felt hot. I was scared. I wanted to talk, but I suddenly could think of nothing to say. So I continued to stare out the window, trying not to look into her eyes. Still she said nothing. She only sat there, waiting for me to answer the question. “I'm not sure,” I started, “it seems like … I …” I wanted to tell her that seeing her like this hurt. That seeing her like this filled me with sorrow and that there were sleepless nights where all I could think about was how that somehow I had done this. I wanted to tell her that she was the reason that I was slower than normal at work, that she was the reason that I … I … “Umm, excuse me,” she said with a soft voice, “but you don't look so good. Are you OK?” I was a fool for turning to look at her. “Huh? Oh, uhh …” As I looked into her eyes, I couldn't hold it in anymore. “No … no I'm not ok! I'm so sorry, but I can't help it!” I paused, unable to speak for the tears I was choking back. “Help what?” she gently asked. “All I can think about is you! All I can think about is how I must have done something to cause this! I know that's not the case, but I can't help it! I'm so sorry! If I hadn't been late! If only I could have been there! I'm so sorry! I wish that I could take this pain from you! Can't you tell!? I-I...” I had lost it. The flood gate had burst open and my tears fell freely. I buried my face into my hands, wishing for her to look away. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her. I wanted to tell her, right then and there, but I could not. I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder. I hesitated for a moment, then I looked up. Her face was close. I could almost smell her hair- Then she kissed me. > Chapter Eight: An Honest Yellow > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 8: An Honest Yellow “I'll see y'all in a bit, Fluttershy,” Applejack said as the nurse pushed the wheelchair into the room, “I gotta make my legs go hurt for awhile.” “It's not that bad Applejack,” she said, “look at it this way, the more we practice the less it will hurt right?” “If you say so...” answered Applejack, devoid of any excitement. She grunted as the nurses helped her into the chair, and she bid Fluttershy a parting farewell as they wheeled her out of the room. She was alone again. She liked this alone time. She loved her friends dearly, but she was also one to like her quiet time as well. She managed to get plenty of it while she was working on the farm, but since the accident, she's spent most of her waking moments in the company of Applejack. She was a great friend, but even friends sometimes need a little time away from each other. As she sat there, she reflected on the past few months. It had been a good long while since they first all moved to town. Her life before then seemed almost like a lifetime ago. She thought about what it had been like living on the farm with Applejack's kind uncle. How he always treated both of them as guests and family, giving the best of both worlds to them. Well, to her at least. He never really asked much of her. Almost everything she did around the place she had volunteered to do. Then again, technically speaking, she was there as a vet-in-training, and Applejack was there to help run the place. Still, she couldn't just sit around and do nothing when she could help out. She chuckled, the animals certainly kept her busy. But there would be times when they just plain didn't need a doctor and she would have nothing to do. So she began helping where she could.. At first it wasn't easy. She would have to ask Applejack over and over again how to do this or to do that. But after some time, she stopped being in the way and started being a help. Though the time it took for that to happen did test Applejack's patience a little bit. Her thoughts drifted from the farm to those first few nights at school. Twilight, unsurprisingly, knew all of the answers. She's always been such a good student. Pinkie Pie had already made several new friends, several of which she made in the parking lot on the way in, or just calling random numbers in an old phone-book she had found. She remembered how it took some coaxing to get Rainbow to go. She's never really been one to sit in a classroom, so the idea of sitting in one on a perfectly good Thursday night was not gonna work. Thankfully, Pinkie had found out that they had a tradition of playing basketball after class. It was that fact alone that had sold her on the idea of going. Rarity enjoyed the social aspect of it. She enjoyed showing up in nice outfits and getting the boys to fawn over her. Whether or not she actually paid attention or not to the lessons, Fluttershy was unsure of. Then there was Taylor. She had been content to sit there, behind the wall of her friends, and simply remain quiet. She had hoped to meet someone (in a non-romantic sense), but when the lesson had ended, she had changed her mind. But he had broken through. He was really the only one to attempt to talk to her like he did. Everyone else was nice. They said hello, but she had remained quiet until they went away. He had not. And he did it, over and over again. Even after the crash, he, outside of her regular friends, was one of the few people who came to visit on a regular basis. Week after week he would come. Most of the time he would chat with Applejack, but it was pretty clear that he wanted to chat with her. He rarely came alone, he usually came along with a group or one of her friends. He came almost every week. And on the rare occasion, twice. She slowly grew to like having him around. He was nice. Though she could tell that he was troubled. As time went by, his face seemed to grow just a little darker, but when he would look at her, his face would get just a little brighter. Though he tried to hide it. He would try and avoid eye contact when he would enter the room, and even during their conversations he often tried to look either out the window or elsewhere. This was a fact that Fluttershy appreciated. She often had a hard time looking into his eyes as well. She couldn't quite describe it. She felt a burning when they would make eye contact. And almost as if doing so was some great sin, they would snap their heads away from each other as soon as it would happen. Applejack noticed how this would happen more and more. She noticed how his face would shine a little brighter each time he saw her. And every time they would break their gaze, she would crack a knowing grin. Fluttershy wished she wouldn't do that, it just made her blush all the deeper. She also didn't hesitate to bring it up to the others, but thankfully she only did it once. It had been like the car-ride all over again, only worse, and this time she had asked Applejack to not bring it up ever again. Applejack didn't want to stop, but she finally agreed when Fluttershy put her foot down. It had actually surprised her when she had done that. Before, Fluttershy would have just cried a little bit, but eventually she would have been fine. But there was a resolve in her voice that had told Applejack that she was not kidding around with this. Applejack had never really known her to be that assertive before, and it caught her off guard. What it did however, was lead into a talk about him. The whole thing had started just after he (and a few others) had left one day. Fluttershy was still blushing just a little when Applejack turned and looked at her with that grin of hers. Fluttershy didn't notice at first, but when she caught it, her face suddenly turned bright red and she looked down at her blankets. “Well, well, little missy,” she could almost hear Applejack's grin grow bigger, “if I didn't know better, I'd say we got ourselves a right ol' crush happenin' right here...” She let that hang in the air for a second, “If I didn't know better, I'd say you've started 'ta like him...” her grin was ear to ear, like some sort child planning their next fit of mischief. Fluttershy was quiet for a moment, then she began to stutter in little more than a whisper, “I...I...” “And ya know what I think?” Applejack said, taking far too much glee in this, “I think he's-” “No! Don't say it!” Fluttershy cut in, doubling over and burying her face into her knees. This surprised Applejack. “Aw, come on sugercube,” Applejack responded, somehow missing the urgency in Fluttershy's voice, “Lighten up! Why, I'd bet he's thinkin' about you right now. Why, I wouldn't be surprised if he asked you to be his girl-” “No! I don't wanna talk about that right now! So stop it right this instant!” She commanded. Applejack was stunned. Rare was it so her to be so assertive, and this was a rare moment of a rare moment. “Please, I-I-I just don't wanna think about that, ok?” she then pleaded. Applejack realized the hurt in her eyes, but also saw something else. A look that said that Fluttershy was hoping that Applejack was right, or at least that's what Applejack thought she saw in her eyes. “I-I'm sorry Fluttershy. I didn't mean ta hurt y'all's feelings...” she could feel the guilt from the crash coming back to her, but she clenched her teeth and swallowed it. Fluttershy's look softened, and then she glanced down at her bed again. “It's just that … well … never-mind. M-maybe we should just let it go...” “Well hold on here darlin', I didn't realize that it was such a touchy thing. Why don't we talk about it for a bit?” “Well, it's just that … oh never-mind...” she trailed off, glancing away from Applejack. Applejack was going to have none of that. “Oh come on, please? If not for me, than for ya'self?” Applejack pleaded. “H-he's a nice boy. And … and I think...” he face started to recede a little in its red hue. “Yea, go on.” Encouraged Applejack. “I-I-I think that … he's... well...” “He's what? Come on girl, spit it out.” Applejack said, but in an encouraging tone. One that said, 'it's ok, I'm here. You're safe to say what you want, so feel free to say it.' “I-I-I think I...” she began to redden again. “Yes?” “I-I...” “Yes?” Applejack asked a little louder, leaning towards her a little. “I...” “YES?” Applejack asked with wide eyes and with great anticipation. “He's … nice.” Fluttershy spit out. Applejack's sigh of exasperation was almost painful. “Oh come on girl! That's not what it was!” Fluttershy whimpered a little, and then mumbled something. Applejack smiled a bit, “Whatcha' say? Didn't hear that one.” Fluttershy was suddenly reminded of the moment when she first met Twilight. She mumbled yet again, but this time slightly louder. “Nope, still didn't hear that, gonna hafta speak up!” Applejack said, once again with that mischievous glee. “I … I...” she began, but the rest was lost in more low mumbles. “Come on sweetie! Just spit it out!” Applejack almost exclaimed with joy. Her head suddenly shot up, and as if she were shouting to the heavens (or at least the tiled ceiling) said said with eyes hard shut, “I THINK I LIKE HIM!” And then she suddenly changed. What both had expected to happen was this: she would suddenly turn bright red again, bury her face into her knees once again, and Applejack to start laughing up a storm. But that didn't happen. Rather, Fluttershy slowly opened her eyes. She suddenly felt a great calm and a peace inside of her. Applejack must have noticed, for she simply sat there with an expression of awe on her face. No laughter, no joking. She just sat there, almost looking as if she were looking at an angel. To be honest, Applejack wouldn't have been surprised if Fluttershy suddenly grew wings and flew out of the room. There was an aura about her. Not that Applejack could actually see any sort of aura, but there might as well have been. She suddenly looked so delicate. She radiated light, and for a moment, she seemed perfectly at peace. Applejack didn't want to speak. She didn't want to break the fragile feeling in the room. Fluttershy, just as stunned as Applejack by the sudden turn of events, slowly turned towards her friend until they made eye contact. Applejack could see it. She was just as confused, but yet, she was happy. She was happy. It was a kind of happy she had never felt before. It wasn't the bubbly, jumpy kind that Pinkie had. It wasn't the kind that Twilight had when she solved a difficult problem. Nor was it the kind that Rarity had when she knew that she had made something beautiful. It was, warm, gentle. It was almost like when a sick animal would get better, or when parents would pair up and form a new family. But yet, it was different. She felt as though a great burden had been taken off of her shoulders. And that weight had been replaced with peace. “I … I feel … so good. Applejack, I … I feel so happy! What just happened?” “I … I don't know...”, she answered, “I'm just as lost as you are.” “What does this mean?” she asked. “I dun know Fluttershy. But I think it's a good thing. Ya know what I think? I think that it means that it was meant to be.” Applejack was surprised that she was saying this, but she was sure that it was right. “Wha-what should I do?” Flutteshy asked with both a note of panic and hope. “Whatever yer heart tells ya next time ya see him.” “I hope you're right...” > Chapter Nine: A Cherished Yellow > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 9: A Cherished Yellow Her thoughts slowly drifted back to the present. That whole scene had taken place about two days ago. But even that time couldn't delude the feelings that still came to her when she thought about it. Granted, they were not nearly as potent, nor did they have the impact on the world around her as they did then, but she still felt warm when she thought of them. She never would have guessed that sort of event could have happened, but yet, it had. Most fortuitous, if not blessed was she for having had felt it. Though she didn't quite think of it in that way, rather, she was simply happy and grateful that it did happen. She felt happy about it, and that was enough. With her mind now firmly in the now, she glanced about the room. It was a simple affair, barring the endless get well cards (most of them penned by Pinkie Pie or at least picked out by her), the numberless balloons (again, Pinkie was the main culprit), the countless flowers (most of which were actually Rarity's doing, though they were flowers she liked vs what Fluttershy preferred, but she was grateful to have them none-the-less), the volumes upon volumes of books (Twilight insisted that they all came out her own personal library, but Fluttershy suspected that the word 'personal' included 'public'), and the various miscellaneous and sundry gifts and items that were strewn about. There wasn't much from Rainbow, but her gift was of a different kind. She was the only person who came by every single day without fail. In fact, she was the one who had to deliver most of this stuff. But Rainbow, ever loyal, always made time to visit them. Her visits were almost never long, nor were they exactly short. And she never let on whenever she was in a hurry or not. In fact, the only way Fluttershy knew that Rainbow's devotion got her in trouble from time to time was because other people told her about how RD was late for this or that because of her visits. She always brushed off any comments or questions about it though, preferring instead to talk about the coolest thing she did lately or what teams were doing well in sports (and always taking great pains to explain EXACTLY why they were doing so well). To her credit though, her time was not the only thing she gave, there were a few get-wells that she wrote. She never was one for affection, so Applejack and Fluttershy cherished these cards greatly. The curtains too were a gift. They had been hand-made by Rarity. They actually came as something of a surprise. Not the fact that she was making them (for she was not one to be shy about that), but what they ended up looking like. It also came as a surprise that she managed to convince the hospital to allow her to replace them. She never had any doubt she would succeed, but most everyone else was sure that they wouldn't let it happen. But then again, persuasion has always been one of her strong points, as well as her surprising sensitivity to the desires of others. When she had heard about the project, Fluttershy was expecting them to be flashy, fashionable, and very, very Rarity. So when Rarity hung them, Fluttershy was shocked to see delicate, yet simple, pale yellow sheets embroidered with a mixture of butterflies and apples. It would blow gently in the breeze, in such a way so as to calm the onlooker. Yet, if the light caught it right, it would seem almost a light orange peppered with red apples. It would suddenly fill one with a sense of energy and vigor. Almost a desire to go and conquer the day. She smiled. She was surrounded by love. Each expression as true to its giver as could be. Even Twilight's books were titles that she knew that both Applejack and Fluttershy would enjoy. Everything from technical manuals about farm equipment to professional veterinary journals she had gathered for her friends. She would bring to them the latest issues of their favorite magazines, and even discuss their contents (for she had already read them twice over by the time she had gotten there). She had even brought a small pile of books for Rainbow, but Rainbow denied that they were for her, at least when anyone that wasn't one of 'the six' (or 'the collective', as some put it) was around. Twilight thought it silly to keep it a secret, but wanting to keep her friend's wishes, she would often hide the collection amongst the other books when she came (as RD often forgot to put them back when she was done, though she did take good care of them otherwise). Needless to say, this helped ease the pain and loneliness of being in the hospital, though the constant company sometimes made the night hard to deal with. That, and the bedding was quite stiff. She often tossed and turned, and from time to time would wake up from Applejack's snoring, or Rainbow's if she was staying the night. There were times when she would lie there, listing to the two of them, almost wondering how the two of them could snore in unison. To a truth, it was almost musical at times. Then there were those nights when she would suddenly realize just how far away from home she was. Those nights were hard, but eased by the knowledge that she had something of her home right here. Or, in other words, she had friends she could call family. Somedays the six of them would all gather in the room and simply sit and chat, or play some games, or whatever else came to their minds. Fluttershy giggled. She remembered the day when they all decided that it would be nice to see Rainbow and Pinkie dressed in formal attire. Needless to say, they were none too thrilled by the idea. It didn't happen however. Rainbow managed to escape and Pinkie convinced Rarity that her in a delicate dress was not the best idea (in all actuality, Pinkie eventually became all for the idea, but her excitement convinced Rarity that perhaps it would be best to avoid it for now). Though it was not the first time this happened. In fact, this was a sort of common thing for them to do. They would pick two of them and dress them up in nice outfits that Rarity made. She did it as a means of showing off her work, and also to get feedback. And for some reason, Rainbow was always one of the two picked. She hated it, but she couldn't escape. Applejack would always wrestle her to the ground, and hold her down until she gave up. The only two times this didn't work was when both Applejack and Rainbow were picked. Before then, Fluttershy never realized just how fast they could run. The other time was just this last time. Applejack, being bed ridden, couldn't keep Rainbow from running, and so she escaped unfancified. Her thoughts continued to drift. She thought of Applejack's family that had come down to visit. Her big Brother, whom she had only ever known as 'Big Macintosh' (his real name was Macintosh Apple, but seeing as how he was almost as big as his uncle, everyone just called him Big Mac for short), was such a quiet man. He had the most reliable work ethic that a man could have. There were times when Fluttershy was convinced that working was his joy in life. He always had this small simple smile on his face, almost as if he was simply happy. Not for any specific reason either, just happy. She blushed a little when her mind drifted to the time when they had almost started dating. One of their horses got sick, a large stallion, and she had started coming to the farm to see it on an almost daily basis. At the time, she was just starting her schooling, so she went with a vet that was a teacher of hers. As they saw more and more of each other, she felt more and more happy to know that he was simply around. At first he would hang near by because he was concerned with his horse, who he had named 'Big Red'. But eventually she could tell it was because he was growing fond of her. They didn't talk much. Neither of them were big talkers. She because she was shy, he because he only liked to say what needed to be said (though perhaps he too was a little shy). He was kinda cute, in a tall, farm-boy kinda way. He didn't really do anything to make himself attractive. He just came across as a humble, gentle giant. And that's what attracted Fluttershy. Nothing came of it however. The day when the both of them had built up enough courage to finally say something to each other, Applejack suddenly popped in. The both of them froze on the spot, and things got worse when that knowing grin of Applejack's showed up. She even called over Applebloom, who began singing about her and her brother sitting in a tree. Big Mac turned redder than his horse and ran off faster than a cat escaping the rain. Fluttershy too fled the scene, in the opposite direction. They never spoke to each other after that. Or at least, not for a long time. She had tried twice to see him after that, but when he would learn she was on the farm, he would suddenly vanish until she left. Later, he tried to come by to see her, but she too pulled the disappearing act. Applejack, realizing the damage she had done, tried to make amends, but apparently Big Mac refused to talk about it, and Fluttershy couldn't talk about it. Thankfully, that was a long time ago, and now when he visits, they are more like old friends. Applebloom was always a lively visitor. She would talk all about the various adventures her and her new friends got into. She had known of Sweetiebell before they all moved down here. She, being Rairty's little sister, had met Fluttershy a few times before they all moved down here. That was mostly because Rarity's family actually lived in the outskirts of town. Now that they all lived near each other, she got to see her more often. Applebloom and Sweetiebell (that was the baby-name Rarity had given her, of which she has never been able to shake off no matter how hard she tried) had never really met prior to the move. Now it sounded like they spent time together all the time. What was new was their friend Scootaloo. She was a young girl, about their age, that they had met in school. What amazed Fluttershy the most about it was the fact that she was disabled. Sometimes she would come into the room in a wheelchair, other times with one or two crutches. She didn't talk about it much, but apparently she had something in her legs that would sometimes make it so she couldn't move them, and other times she could, but not a ton. Scootaloo of course was not her real name, but a nick-name that the other two gave her. She liked it so she insisted that others call her that. But the thought of those three girls warmed her heart. Despite everything, they got along so well. There would be times when they would even finish each others sentences. And the fact that their friend had a disability seemed to make no difference at all to the girls. Fluttershy felt simply wonderful. Her mind sometimes drifted to unpleasant places, but today it seemed that it wanted to think about the things that made her happy. Like the time when her and Twilight stayed up all night to help Fluttershy study for a big test. Or the time when she and Rainbow went to watch race cars. It was loud, noisy, and Fluttershy hated it, but Rainbow couldn't have been happier. She later had made it up to her by taking her to a petting zoo that recently opened up. Or the time when the six of them were invited to a formal dinner and ball by Twilight's mentor, Celestia. Rarity and her worked for months making the perfect gowns for all of them. It was such a rewarding time, though she had to admit that she liked her animals more. Once again she remembered the time when she failed to save a young horse's life. She remembered how Pinkie was right there beside her, giving her reasons to smile and to laugh. And how she never, ever, once forgot Fluttershy's birthday (or any of theirs for that matter). She remembered Applejack and her offering to let Fluttershy work with their animals. She remembered how thrilled she was that her friend trusted her that much with them. And even when she got it wrong, she never got mad at her. Indeed, she was suddenly convinced that she truly had the best friends in the world. But there was something missing. There was something that she knew she wanted more than anything. She loved her friends, but she longed to love someone more than that. She wanted someone to share with her her most joyous laughs, to help her carry her deepest sorrows. She wanted someone who she could open herself to and know that they would do the same. She longed for someone who she knew she could trust, in the deepest sense that one could trust another. She wanted to be in love. She had come close once, but ... now, she felt as though it was happening again. But it was different. Big Mac was strong, mighty. He was like the very trees that dotted the farm he lived on. But Taylor was different. He was small, talkative. He was in many ways the opposite of Big Mac. She knew Big Mac was strong. She knew that if she needed someone to lean on, he could bear the weight that all the world could throw at him. But Taylor was the opposite. She could tell that he was falling apart. She could see in his eyes the eyes of a hurt animal. She knew that he needed someone strong, that he would need a pillar to lean on. And he made her want to be that pillar. Never before had she felt like someone needed her like that. Never before had she felt that she could be so vital to someone else. Perhaps she was wrong. Perhaps he was stronger than he seemed, but for some reason, his presence made her want to be a stronger person. She wasn't sure if she loved him or not, but she knew something had happened those two days ago. It was too real for her to say that she had imagined it. And it was too strong for her to deny it. Then the moment came. The moment for her to find out what it all meant. She was no more prepared for it than anyone could have been. No, she was not ready. She knew what Applejack had said. She hoped that she was right, that it was meant to be. And she hoped that Applejack was right when she told her to follow her heart. She thought that she would be blushing, but once again, she felt calm and at peace. She liked him, she knew that much. She knew she wanted to be more than simply friends. But beyond that? She didn't know, but she knew it was right. And unbeknownst to her, had I known these were her thoughts when I walked in, I would have fled... > Chapter Ten: A Loving Yellow > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 10: A Loving Yellow His arrival actually surprised her. She knew it was Thursday, so it made sense that he would come, but there were several hours yet before he would normally come. At first she thought that perhaps it was one of the nurses arriving to take her to therapy, or perhaps a doctor to tell her some bad news, or perhaps a policeman to tell her that she couldn't be in the hospital anymore, or- But it was none of those things. It was something much less scary and harmful. She thought that given what had happened a few days ago, she would be nervous, perhaps even a bit panicked, but she was not. How could she be? So she calmly watched him make his way over to the chair at the foot of her bed (normally it was by the window, but her visitors liked to move it to the foot of her bed, much to the irritation of the nurses who would move it back). He paused a moment after he sat down, as if thinking about something. Her heart began to beat just a little faster. “Hey.” he said. She wasn't sure what to say back. Then again, she was never sure what to say to almost anyone who talked to her. She wanted to have normal conversations, but she just never could think of what to say. So, she decided to start off simply. “Hi.” she manged, over the sound of her sudden heart beat. It seemed so loud she was almost certain he could hear it. “Where's Applejack?” He asked, looking at her bed. He seemed nervous about the answer. “Oh,” she paused, his question caught her off guard, for she was still deep in thought, “She's at physical therapy.” There was a pause, her heart pounded in her chest again. She didn't know what to say, if she should say anything at all. How would he respond? Was it best to simply keep quiet and let him talk? Should she say anything? What should- “How's that coming along? Last I heard you guys were only a few weeks from walking.” He asked. It seemed that he liked the idea of Applejack being gone for a short time. She was unsure how to answer the question. Mostly because she was trying to follow Applejack's advice and figure out what her heart was trying to tell her to do. Should she say something now? She decided to try it and see what would happen. “Well...” she ventured, but suddenly found herself too embarrassed to say anything else. She wanted to say something, but she just couldn't say it. He cleared his throat, “What I mean was I heard you guys were working on standing exercises.” Once again she was unsure how to answer his question. How could he be talking about physical therapy when all she could think about was- Her heart pounded once more. She swallowed hard. Perhaps it would be best if she just went along. “Yes. We've been working on standing. It's still kinda hard, and hurts a lot. (that was an understatement) But it's not too bad.” “How's Applejack handling it?” he asked. Fluttershy smiled a little inside. She loved to complain about how much her joints ached afterward, but only when she and Fluttershy were alone; she was a bit too proud to admit it to anyone else. “She's doing alright. She doesn't like to admit it, but she's having a hard time too.” A troubled look flashed through his eyes, but was gone as soon as it came. “I'm sorry to hear that, but at least you guys are getting better right?” he said with a small, gentle smile. “A little bit at a time.” she answered, smiling back. Then a quiet settled in the room. She didn't know what he was going to say next. Figuring that he had some sort of plan of what he wanted to say next, she decided to remain silent, or at least she sure hoped so, because there was only one thing she wanted to talk about. The idea of talking about that was terrifying, but at the same time it-it truly was the only thing she wanted to say. But still he said nothing. Still he sat there, saying nothing. He suddenly looked very uncomfortable, almost scared. It seemed like a darkness was filling his eyes, but Fluttershy wasn't sure if she was just seeing things. Still, when she felt like that, usually talking about her feelings helped. So, she mustered up her courage and ask him a simple question. “Umm … can … I ask you a question? I-If you don't mind that is…” she managed to get out. Suddenly surprised, he looked at her for a brief moment. “Uh, sure,” he was clearly not expecting her to say something, “go right ahead.” “What are you thinking about (are you thinking about me? Because I'm thinking about you, oh please be thinking about me! I, I just don't know what I would do if you weren't!)?” She asked. She was concerned for him. As time had continued on, she had noticed that his face had gotten darker and darker. Not only did she wish she had said the part she didn't, she also wanted to help him be happier. She was so very worried about him. “Well, to be honest, about our conversations.” He answered. Her heart stopped for a second, and suddenly, she was petrified with anxiety, or rather, that's what she expected. Rather, she was overcome with curiosity. It seemed strange to her that of all the things to talk about, that's what was on his mind. Could he not see how she felt for him? How could he not hear her heart ramming her ribs? She found herself confused. What could he be thinking? “Oh … what do you mean?” she inquired. “Well,” he began, then he paused for a moment. It was clear he was thinking about what he wanted to say next. She had come to know him for this, for he would often pause before saying something really important to him, or something really sensitive. “You see, I'm the kind of guy who likes to observe and understand things. As a result, I have a tendency to analyze the conversations I have with people. It's not that I judge them or anything like that, no no, it's not my place, but rather it's more like I like to look at them from...” She was puzzled. How could he be rambling on like this? Could he not see her feelings in her eyes? Could he not hear the pounding of her heart? She could think of nothing else. Her mind was filled with a terrible fear, her heart danced with excitement, but her soul was at peace. It was a strange feeling, one that she found herself drifting away in. So gone was she that she didn't notice that he had stopped talking at first. As the silence fell upon her, she suddenly felt a little sheepish for not noticing right away. “But that's not what you were looking for, was it?” he asked suddenly. Still feeling a bit silly, she gave the best answer she could think of. “Well, if that's what was on your mind, then I guess it was alright...” She didn't mind much when her friends would do most of the talking. She was usually happy to just sit there and listen. Shaking his head, he said, “Sorry, I tend to talk too much.” “It's OK, I don't mind...” she began. She was unsure what to say after that, after all, she didn't want him to feel bad about talking so much. “No, it's not OK,” he suddenly said, “I hogged the conversation. And in my mind, a conversation is supposed to happen two ways.” He was clearly frustrated, though she was confused as to why. She didn't understand what she had done wrong to make him upset. Or if it was something he had done. She was about to open her mouth to say something, but then a simple thought crossed her mind. Smile. And so she sat there, and smiled. As she did so, a warmth filled her chest. It expanded and filled her whole body. Everything from her feet to her fingers felt warm. But it was a gentle, kind warmth. Not the kind of warmth one gets from feeling too hot or the kind of warmth that comes from excitement or even embarrassment. No, this was the kind of warmth one feels in the arms of a loving parent or in the presence of a close friend, but still, it was different from even that. After a moment's pause, he suddenly jerked his head to the side, apparently to look out the window. But, at that point, it finally hit her. She and he had locked eyes for just a moment, but it was long enough. She knew. She knew … he loved her. They sat there, both silent. Several moments passed. Finally, as if in response to a question, he spoke, “I'm not sure. It seems like … I…” he trailed off. He turned both slightly pale, as well as slightly red. He almost looked like he was going to be ill. So, speaking with all the kindness she would use when speaking to an animal, she asked, “Umm, excuse me, but you don't look so good. Are you OK?” Almost in response, he turned his head and looked into her eyes. She was right. He loved her. There was no mistake. He was fighting to hide it, but she could see he was losing. “Huh?” was his response when he looked at her. “Oh, uhh … ” His eyes told her he was at the breaking point. Suddenly, she felt a rush of both excitement and fear. What would happen when he finally lost the battle? What would he say? What would he do? What would she do? Almost on cue, the dam broke. “No … no I'm not ok!” he almost shouted. “I'm sorry, but I can't help it!” He was fighting back tears. But she could tell that these tears were tears of pain. She wanted him let it all go. It pained her to see him hurting like this. She didn't know where it was coming from, or why he suddenly to seem so hurt so much. So, with all the courage she could muster, she asked, “Help what?” “All I can think about is you! All I can think about is how I must have done something to cause this! I know that's not the case, but I can't help it! I'm so sorry! If I hadn't been late! If only I could have been there! I'm so sorry! I wish that I could take this pain from you! Can't you tell!? I-I...” He began to cry. It did not take long for it to turn into open sobbing. He buried his face in his hands, almost as if to try and hide his tears. She was stunned. Did he really feel that way? Did he really believe that all of this was his fault? No, she pleaded within herself. No! It's not! Please … stop crying! She reached out, grabbed him, and held him close. But that was not what happened. As she lifted her arms to reach out to him, her heart beat. She stopped. Her heart beat again. She paused. No, that was not what she needed to do. A third time her heart beat, and this time, she finally understood what it was saying. Once again, that peace, that happiness from before came to her. Both it, and the love in her heart, told her exactly what she needed to do. She reached forward to his sobbing figure. She leaned in. He looked up at her through tear filled eyes. Then, she kissed him. One cannot fully describe in words the feeling that filled the room. It was not something that was felt only in the heart, but something that could only be felt in one's core. As his tears streamed down his face, they became joined with hers. His tears of sorrows, her tears of joy. Mingled, and mixed, becoming one. A bittersweet simile of their owners. And though these tears fell, landing on the hard floor and slowly gathering into a pool, to be cleaned and forgotten, the ones who shed them flew higher and higher. Their hearts as united as their tears, and their joy as mixed as the pools on the ground, they felt their souls take flight. High they flew, hand in hand, tears of joy falling to the earth far below them. Higher and higher their souls climbed, flying into the very halls of eternity itself. Their love never to end, their love never to be forgotten... The End