From the Expedition Journal of Temple Scrivener

by CloverQuill

First published

Temple Scrivener set out with his anthropology crew to study the native culture of the wild plains dogs of The Golden Plains. En route he accidentally has First Contact with a new dog tribe that seems less and less canine as time goes on.

Dear Princess Twilight,

Today we have encountered a whole new tribe of previously undocumented dogs. They are as dangerous as the wild plains dogs but are not as overtly aggressive. I know we had intended to study their plains dwelling relatives but this is too amazing an opportunity to let pass! If you could please send a secondary expedition, preferably escorted by guards that would be able to stay with us if needed, that would be wonderful. Please find enclosed in this packet my detailed notes and illustrations of the members of the pack that we observed today.

As always, your advice on how to befriend these dogs is greatly appreciated.

Your faithful subject,
Temple Scrivener

Mane the Thirtieth

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Month of Mane, Thirtieth Day, Year of the Manticore

We have made an incredible discovery!

As I had previously notated briefly, yesterday we had come upon some squirrels in distress. It seemed incredible that wild plains dogs could have set traps so far from their native range. We were at least a full weeks travel out from the edge of the Golden Plains. And diamond dogs could never fashion traps so well, their traps are large and crude and easily avoided by most creatures.

Today we met the true owners of the traps and they were the strangest dogs we have ever encountered. They are bipedal like dogs, but so thin and weakly built when compared to diamond dogs. They walk very upright without dragging their knuckles, and yet their legs are all wrong for running quickly. Except for their legs they mostly resemble shorn wild plains dogs. They seem to have docked their ears and tails in some as yet undocumented ritual. These creatures are clearly meat eaters of some variety, but do not speak either Arfrikaans, Dogeian, nor even crude Equish.

Our first encounter with them was rather more exciting than one wants for a first meeting, but not as bad as the unfortunate War Banner & Clark meeting with the Prairie Dweller tribe. Nopony wound up as dinner, praise Twilight! It was close though.

The dogs came upon us freeing an armadillo mother from one of their cunning traps. They were extremely upset and nearly set upon us with their wooden spears. I wish I could claim we acted bravely when faced with such ferocity, but we froze in fear. I am humble enough to admit to my worries that we would have to fight for our lives. Luckily we were saved by the dogs own strange beliefs, it seems. As I have previously mentioned, our fresh faced intern is a unicorn musician. And of course, everypony knows that dogs of all kinds are soothed by music. To travel in their territories outside of Equestria without a musician is tantamount to suicide.

These dogs seem to possess some peculiar superstition regarding unicorns. From what we could determine from observing them either unicorns are very unlucky to kill, or they are too dangerous to try any attempt against. Their language is very strange and their body language seems to involve much gesturing of their front paws. This is quite different from any other dogs we have encountered. Perhaps this body language developed due to their barbaric cropping of their ears and docking of their tails.

Our quick thinking intern pulled out her instrument and yet, even before she could begin to play, the dogs had backed away in amazement. It seems so hard to believe that our excitable intern out on her very first expedition could have saved all of our lives without playing a note!

After these strange dogs let us make our escape we came to our senses and realized what a find this was. We sent our two most experienced pegasus scouts, Swift Scribe and myself, following above and behind the group at a safe distance. The dogs followed along the trap line that we had found yesterday and reset their traps. They seemed to be very confident and not at all fearful of the local manticores or timberwolves in whose territory that we were traversing. They even seemed excited at seeing cockatrice tracks around a petrified squirrel. They took the poor stone squirrel with them. Perhaps as proof for the alpha pair that they had indeed been following the empty trap lines.

They did nothing else exceptional while out, but when they led us back to their camp we discovered that it was being tended to by a group of slightly smaller dogs with no alpha pair in sight. The lack of an alpha pair is quite strange, the pack did not act as if they were waiting for any other group to return once the trappers had reconvened. Feather Duster seems to think that these smaller dogs are afflicted by some illness, which causes a swelling in their chests. After observing their pack dynamics I do not think that this theory holds water. I believe that this may be a family group that has suffered recent losses.

The lack of an alpha pair points to such. These smaller dogs might be females full of milk for recently lost pups. Despite popular urban myths, dogs after all, like ponies, only have two teats for milk production. These strange dogs wear much more clothing than even a noble pony, so it was difficult to determine their genders in the usual manner. We will have to observe them further to see if either of us are correct.

These smaller dogs greeted the trappers joyously upon their return. They were predictably disappointed that the trappers had returned without meat, but seemed interested in the poor cockatrice victim. There was then much excitement as the camp dogs gestured at a prodigious wood pile. Strangely we did not observe any axes.

The dogs performed a strange ritual with the stoned squirrel, which I have not heard of any dogs doing before. After some discussion amongst themselves, they solemnly carried it to a patch of fresh turned earth near camp. I would almost say that this was a freshly dug grave, marked for some unknown reason with a crudely fashioned wooden cross. The dogs placed the petrified squirrel, along with flowers and a necklace of sharpened wooden spikes at the cross.

It was the strangest thing I have ever seen dogs do. The plains dogs of course believe that eating their dead gives them their powers, and the diamond dogs believe that their kin have a right to their hearts to give them strength. The fate of the rest of their bodies is usually irrelevant to them.

After we determined that their camp would not be moving that night, we returned to our crew.

Much as it pains me to admit this, I do not think that I can in good conscience keep this discovery to myself until my dissertation is published. I have already written to the Princesses about this find, and Swift Scribe left early this morning with the letter.

I must go now to help establish our base camp. With one pegasus down due to delivery duty, anchoring the cloud base falls to me. I just hope Lyra and Berry will stop talking about their spell crystals failing in the night. I mean really, Princess Twilight made them herself.
-Temple Scrivener

Uni the First

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Month of Uni, First Day, Year of the Manticore



Much to my frustration I was unable to observe the new dog pack today. I sent Lyra to accompany my faithful Feather Duster. Unfortunately the translation spell little Heartstrings learned from Princess Twilight Sparkle, our honored expedition sponsor, failed to take on these dogs, and had unexpected results when cast upon her and Feather.

She claims the spell simply sunk into them, as if they were somehow ‘drinking’ the magic. I’m not sure what that means, exactly, perhaps Princess Twilight Sparkle can shed some light on this when she arrives.1 The spell, when she cast it upon Feather and herself, was behaving as if translating a new language entirely. I wonder if perhaps her desire for adventure exceeded her capability in mana, as it were.

Feather observed all of the pack working together on tying up nets from local vines. They seem to have stolen at least four good steel pocket knives and one terribly dangerous looking dirk. He also claimed that they were quite attentive to a small, peculiar altar set up in a bright, sunny spot of their camp. I must see such a sight for myself. I can hardly imagine dogs of any kind worshiping Our Lady Celestia!

Feather and Lyra confirmed again, these dog’s strange behavior regarding our little intern. The larger dogs made no attempts to touch her, whereas they were uncomfortably tactile with dear Feather. He reports that they were quite fascinated by his wings, as if they have never encountered a pegasus before.

Lyra reports that some of the smaller dogs wept when she greeted them with a friendly nuzzle, as is appropriate for a lower caste pack member greeting an upper caste pack member. Feather and Lyra report that the littler dogs were quick to hug them both and pet them, rather often, after that greeting.

Feather saw no signs of an alpha pair, at all. He also claims the little dog’s chests were soft when they hugged him, and their smell, while fragrant, also quite healthy. Neither he nor Lyra could smell milk, though. It looks like both of our hypothesis could be wrong.

I cannot wait to begin writing down my own observations again. I have not been this excited at the outset of an expedition since I was a young intern, myself!

Berry Punch and I have finally finished setting up our base camp. I finished the homey touches on the cloud outpost, and assisted her in clearing a field for us to grow the plants that we had brought for trade and brewing. Hopefully these dogs enjoy wine and beer as much as their plains cousins. I also assisted her in setting up her barrels, as we luckily found some ripe melons that, Berry claims, make an excellent sweet wine. With her earthy magic, it should be ready in a seven day.

Either way, it will be somewhat of a relief to see the end of full days of carrying all that equipment, not to mention two ponies, between the three of us pegasus. I can stop worrying about cloud rafts for some time, I hope!

I hope the wind stays at Swift Scribe’s back. By Hurricane, I hope these wild regions do not ground her with their uncanny weather. Princesses willing, she can reach the Friendship Kingdom in eight days straight flying.

-Temple Scrivener

1 I determined that Lyra Heartstrings possessed sufficient thaums and training to cast Tingle’s Tinkering Translation prior to the expedition's departure.

╬TS

Uni the Second

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Month of Uni, Second Day, Year of the Manticore



I finally observed these jungle dogs for myself, today! They are very interesting dogs, indeed.

The smaller dogs are, like my fellow explorers said yesterday, quite friendly. We believe that the smaller dogs are all female, but it is rather difficult to tell their genders. As I mentioned previously, all of the dogs are extremely fond of clothing. They wear it all the time, and even when they were, we think, complaining about the heat they never once removed it.

Despite the less than desired results with the translation spell yesterday, I still had Lyra cast it on me. It is very strange to hear a language without any translation.1 I didn’t realize how much I depended on it translating all of a being’s language until now. Funny how we take such things for granted.

Their body language is sometimes very strange. The first thing anypony that has worked with dogs will note, is that none of them show their necks to the other pack members. They also are severely limited in displays, without their ears and tails. One would think that this would lead to further dramatic body movements, but instead they have many strange gestures with their paws. Their snouts are very short and their faces quite mobile. Without the spell cast on them, it is hard to be sure. But they seem to smile more like ponies, to show no hard feelings, than like plains or diamond dogs.

We tried to bring an offering of friendship, in the form of some charmed pendants on beaded necklaces. They found the offering to be a kind of joke, but thankfully accepted it instead of taking insult. I wish we could understand what about it was amusing. We attempted to communicate through gestures and crude drawings that the necklaces were charmed by Princess Twilight herself, with the usual charms popular among their cousins. Horseshoes, hearts, moons, and the like2. I’m not sure how much they understood, unfortunately.

They did show me their altar to Celestia. It is very strange. They have two small glass and metal totems that they place upon the black altar with great care, and they all take turns watching the altar. They were very concerned about how close we came to it. We were not allowed within touching distance and, we think, that they were nervous about Lyra’s magic. Despite their attempt to communicate about their totems seemingly magical powers, she could detect no magic flowing from the altar to them. I was able to observe a rather mild charge suffusing the area around the altar. After I brought it to Feather Duster’s attention he also confirmed that it was faint, but there.

The dogs seemed conflicted about showing us the totems being used and today decided against it. I hope that we will gain their trust enough to see these peculiar items activated.

We tried to communicate our names today, after giving our peace offering. The translation spell still doesn’t work, but their names sound something like: Cayt, Jon, Ee-lye, Mare-ee-uh, and Jayn.

I’m looking forward to strengthening our friendship with these new dogs tomorrow!

-Temple Scrivener

1 I confirmed on arrival at basecamp that Lyra Heartstrings still posses sufficient thaums to cast Tingle’s Tinkering Translation and observed her successfully cast it. The subjects so far appear to absorb all direct magic.

2 I charged the pendants in the following manner: Glass horseshoe pendants charmed with Penne’s Probability Potential. Crystal Heart replica pendants charmed with Cœur’s Copious Courage. Gold Princess Celestia’s cutie mark pendants charmed with Wark’s Warm Wreath. Silver Princess Luna’s cutie mark pendants charmed with Fir’s Fecund Fertility. Wooden rabbit pendants charmed with Boer’s Big Bounty. Antler point pendants charmed with Ace’s Accurate Aiming.

╬TS