> Looping Blind
>  by Szulu
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> Chapter 1: Snowdrop: Blind, Filly, Librarian
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Another loop happened today. I woke up in darkness, it took me a while to realize I was blind in this loop, a bit longer to realize I was female. Luckily this ‘me’ has been blind her whole life and it didn’t take me long to adapt to my new disability. As it turns out I’m a librarian this time.
Snowdrop the blind librarian. What a cruel joke fate has played.





She had been in this body for three days now. Long enough to realize she was young in this body, as in she had now missed three days of school young. How she was both a librarian and still in school all while being blind was mysterious in itself, but from what this body could remember no one ever said anything about it.
She had wondered when she was for a while. In a normal loop she could just look up at the moon and get a rough idea of when she was but… you know… blind. So instead she delved into ‘her’ memories. From what she could ‘remember’ she had run the Ponyville library for around a year now, and while the other five were around town there was no Twilight. She had come to the conclusion that Luna had yet to be freed. She couldn’t be sure how long until Luna’s return, but it had to be soon; according to her memory she was in school with Applebloom and her soon to be friends, so the Elements were adults.
She had initially tried to find a calendar to get a more accurate date. It had taken hours of feeling along walls to find something up which felt even remotely like a calendar. She had felt a rush of excitement. Finally the calendar now all she had to do was look at th… disappointment soon set in when she realized she couldn’t see.
So here she was a blind, pegasus, school filly, librarian, who had abruptly appeared in the middle of town a year ago, and aside from the standard questions asked to a seemingly lost, blind filly she had been pretty much overlooked. And how strange was that? Who lets a school filly run a library? Actually scratch that, she had thought, who lets a blind filly run a library?
And then she remembered where she was. Ponyville. Honestly she should have known by now. Stranger things had happened in previous loops, at least she was pretty sure they had.
Snowdrop still hadn’t been outside of the library since arriving in this time line, eating food from the kitchen, which she had -apparently- restocked recently. She was still processing this body’s memories and didn’t feel confident literally walking blind in an uncontrolled area, not to mention this ‘self’ seemed to be shy, almost to an extreme, giving her even more of an aversion to going outside and into the scrutiny of the town.

Waking up the fourth day, she still had no desire for social interaction or adventure… Not that she would have a choice.

“SNOWYYYYYYY!” was her far too peppy wake-up call.
She had shot out of bed, tiny wings working in a frenzy to keep her aloft. Then the strain became to much and she fell like a brick back onto her bed.
Snowdrop turned her head in the direction of the noise, one which both this ‘self’ and all her previous easily matched with a certain party pony.
Staring at the blind filly through the now wide open door, was Pinkie Pie, huge grin on her face and a checklist in hoof. Not that she could see that. Then again Snowdrop was quickly realizing that you didn’t need to see Pinkie to feel her; it was hard to describe but she had a presence, that was just unmistakably her.
“Drop Drop! I haven’t seen you in like FOREVER! Are you sick? Are you busy with work? Wow you must be really busy to be in here for three whole days! Cheerilee says you haven’t even been to school! No no no wait! Maybe you’re sick and busy! But you don’t look sick so you must just be busy! Wow I’m so impressed you’re such a hard worker! Wait I just remembered why I came here, see there’s this purple unicorn that came into town today, and I was like *gasp* and she was all like,” if Snowdrop wasn’t blind she would have seen Pinkie’s face scrunch into a look of surprise and confusion “and then I ran to get the Welcome to Ponyville party together, and now I’m here! So just letting you know the party is at your place so it’s not like you can miss it!”
It took her a moment to process the pink mare’s words. A party? In her library? So it was starting, the summer sun celebration and Nightmare Moon’s release. But more importantly, a party in her library!? What if the books got out of order, she knew the positions of all the books, that was how she could even work as a librarian, if even one was out of place how would she do her job?  Even worse who was going to clean up the mess? Probably her, and she was blind, there was no way she would get everything, and she would never notice, her library would look ridiculous. She could imagine it now, some kind pony walks into the library, hoping to check out a book, and are then treated to the corpse of a party, streamers, and confetti everywhere, with only small patches were she had been able to clean. Then they would mutter something about blind fillies, and she would never see…err… they would never stop by again. Not that many ponies came here anyway, but still it was the principle of the thing.
She faltered a bit, squirming in place on her bed, before finally squeaking out in quiet voice, “Umm Pinkie I don’t really think thats a good idea, can you do it somewhere else?” Snowdrop waited patiently for a response. One minute, two minutes. “You aren’t here anymore are you…” She said aloud realizing that Pinkie must have left while her brain was still rebooting. She sighed. This was just her luck. A party in her library… maybe she could guilt trip somepony into helping her clean…
Snowdrop slumped down onto her bed, all strength leaving her limbs as she let out a further sigh of defeat. She tucked herself into the blankets and closed her eyes. She might as well sleep today, after all there was going to be a party at her house tonight… so she wouldn’t get any sleep then anyway… no reason to be tired during all the panic of Nightmare Moon’s return.

She woke up for the second time that day to a loud noise.
“SURPRISE!” Roared, half of Ponyville.
She whimpered lightly at the rude awakening curling herself further into the blankets, in a vain attempt to muffle the noise of the party.
There was a stomping noise as somepony stormed up the stairs, then once again the door was flung open.
“A party, seriously!? I don’t have time for that!” came a rather aggravated voice, that while ‘Snowdrop’ had no knowledge of, she was able to place as Twilight Sparkle. Twilight quickly tapered off into grumbling incoherently under her breath as she shut the abused door.
Snowdrop gathered her wits, trying her best to overcome this body’s shyness. She opened her eyes. Not that it made a difference, but she found it made ponies more comfortable, “Umm… excuse me, but why are you in my room?” It wasn’t very loud and she was sure that she had just barely been heard, but nevertheless Twilight’s head quickly snapped over to the bed, followed by a sharp gasp as she took in the small, milky eyed, white and light blue filly wrapped in the covers.
“Gahh! Who are you!?” she asked, it was a rather reasonable question, all things considered, honestly how was she supposed to know that a blind pegasus filly lived in and ran the library?
“My name is Snowdrop,” she responded retreating further into her blankets as she did so, “I’m the librarian and I live here… who are you?” By this point all that could be seen of her was a muzzle and two milky eyes.
“I’m Twilight Sparkle, and… wait. You wha-?” Twilight was abruptly cut off as the door slammed open again. Snowdrop muffled a startled squeak in the blanket, trying futilely to disappear in them.
“Twilight! Pinkie Pie is…” the voice young, but distinctly male, she quickly identified as Spike’s, trailed off, as he noticed the bundled filly. “Um… hello?” he greeted sounding unsure. He then turned to Twilight, “Who’s that? And why is she in our house, in your bed?” Snowdrop, still cowering in the covers was unable to give her input and instead was forced to be a spectator.
“She says she’s the librarian, and lives here, which is impossible since she’s just a filly. Besides, the princess would have told me if somepony lived here.” She sounded assured of that fact, though her curiosity for the filly was obvious. “I was just about to ask her when you came in.”
Snowdrop felt the attention shift back on to her, and once again the shy personality of this body came to the forefront, as she started to shake, feeling like she was in trouble for some reason. She was about to respond when a startled noise came from Twilight, and she rounded on Spike, “Wait we don’t have time for this, I need to do more research on the Elements of Harmony…” Snowdrop blocked her out mentally sighing in relief when the attention was taken from her.
And just like that it was as if Snowdrop didn’t exist. Twilight set about reading books, occasionally braving the party to reach a bookshelf, and then returning to read it. As the night wore on Snowdrop slowly relaxed, poking a bit more of her head out of the blanket, as she listened to Twilight muttering passages aloud from her books. It was soothing in a way… she realized how much she was going to miss reading.
It was hours later that Spike returned to the room sighing in exasperation as he took one last look at the bundle of cloth that was the filly. “C’mon Twilight its time to go watch the sunrise!”
There was the sound of hooves trotting down the stairs and then all was silent once again for Snowdrop.
Carefully she untangled herself from the sheets, and finally found herself standing on the wooden floor of her home. She tentatively made her way downstairs, hoping to assess the damage. Well, as much as a blind pony could assess damage; if she was being honest it was really because her legs had been cramping.
It seemed that Twilight was still going to live at the library, which worried Snowdrop; she didn’t want Twilight to take over her job or steal her home for that matter. Snowdrop enjoyed working the library, and knew it better then any other place in town. Plus it was quiet, which was great because her ears were very sensitive.
After ‘assessing the damage’ and determining that she had no clue what things looked like, she retuned upstairs and began to prepare the guest room, somehow managing to remember the layout of the room from the tour Mayor Mare had given her a year ago.
She hoped things would go well, defeating Nightmare Moon; hopefully everyone would survive this loop. Things just hadn’t been the same in Ponyville after Rarity’s death that one time. “Well” she decided “no use crying over something that hasn’t happened yet.” 
She nodded with an air of finality, about to return to her room, when a loud banging echoed from the bottom floor. The library doors were not getting very great treatment today, it seemed. The noise was quickly followed by muffled voices, which grew progressively closer as they ascended the stairs, causing Snowdrop to duck behind the guest room door. They then entered her room, exited and went back to the ground floor. Soon after she could hear the sound of books opening and closing at a frantic pace, and then loud thumping which Snowdrop assumed was the books hitting the ground.
She sat behind the door in stunned bewilderment for a solid minute, then she realized what was going on downstairs. Her books. The books she had painstakingly taken hours to sort, with Cheerilee's help of course, were being thrown around, she would need to spend days re-organizing. If she didn’t, well she could just see…err… imagine it now.
Some perfectly kind pony would come looking for a book on proper plant care. She would happily walk to a shelf, fluttering her little wings up to the first row on the eighth shelf in the building, and grab the forty third book in the line, “Rants About Plants,” by Nut Crusher. Or at least thats what it should have been, no instead she would end up giving the poor soul a book on cow mating habits, which they did, much to Snowdrops initial horror have, “The Good Moo, and the Bad Moo: A Comprehensive Guide,” coincidentally also by Nut Crusher, though not one of his better works. That was besides the point, in the end the kind pony would look at her bug eyed, not that she would see it, mutter something about blind fillies and never return.
Damage had been done but she refused to let any more occur, she stalked downstairs, trying to bring attention to herself - though in hindsight this probably wasn’t such a great idea, her being blind and all. She opened her mouth on the way down, ready to give them a piece of her mind. Sadly, however the multitasking was just too much for her, and she tripped down the last four steps, going head over hooves and landing with a pitiful squeak at the bottom. She valiantly returned to standing almost instantly, ignoring her new bruises for now, and swept her blind gaze over the room, hoping to, by some cosmic coincidence, “lock eyes” with the vandal.
“You…” she started quietly, dangerously, “you… do you have any idea how long it took to organize those books?  Do you think its easy for a blind filly to run a library? Im already barely credible as it is, and to make matters worse I still need to attend school. SO when SOMEPONIES start messing with my system, the one I use to find books while BLIND, by THROWING the books around willy nilly, you can imagine I would be just a bit upset. Do you understand what I’m saying, Miss?” She questioned practically spitting daggers. She was panting by this point; her little body just wasn’t used to angry rants. 
She waited, taking deep breaths, her heartbeat slowly returning to normal. The silence grew heavy and uncomfortable and now that the moment had passed, she began to flush red in embarrassment at her outburst.
Snowdrop cringed, taking a step back towards where she knew the stairs to be. The silence was becoming too heavy; it was as if nopony else was in the room… Wait.
“Hello?” she called out hesitantly, the soft tone a far cry from the last time she spoke. There was no answer. Snowdrop’s blush turned full on crimson, “Of course no one is there… I suppose thats what I get for being impulsive.” She sighed, both in relief and irritation, “Well at least no one heard that…” 
So of course it was at that moment that the stairs creaked, and a loud yawn sounded out behind her, “…Hey have you seen-?”
Startled Snowdrop quickly turned to face the voice as she released a surprised squeak. Having forgotten about the stairs directly behind her, she promptly smacked her hind legs into them, toppling over into an adorable heap.
“-Twilight, she was…” The voice, Spike, trailed off, noticing the crumpled form of the filly. “Umm… Are you alright?” He asked, offering a claw up.
Snowdrop wasn’t sure her face would ever be the same color again, she was blushing so fiercely. How long had he been there? How much had he heard? She began lifting herself back off the ground, jumping slightly when a pair of claws helped her up. “T-thanks” she managed to stutter out briefly, still caught up in embarrassment. “Not to be rude or anything, but umm… who are you, and why were you upstairs? Thats where the bedrooms are.”
Spike looked at her quizzically. This filly was strange; she didn’t look him in the eye when she spoke, in fact she was looking at an empty space a couple of feet above him. Also her face seemed to be a completely different color then the rest of her. “Well, I’m Spike the dragon. Twilight’s Number One Assistant. And until tomorrow this is where I’m staying. Who are you?”
“Oh…” She had forgotten Spike lived with Twilight; last loop he had left on a migration and never returned. “Well I’m Snowdrop and uh… I’m the librarian. I also live here.”
“Really? The princess didn’t mention somepony already lived here. I guess we’re roommates then! Thats pretty cool!”He said emphatically, the earlier sleepiness in his voice vanishing in an instant.
Snowdrop couldn’t help the smile that came to her face in response to his cheer, her blush slowly fading. She had never gotten to know Spike before but so far she liked him. Scuffing her hoof on the ground she looked away bashfully, “You didn’t hear that did you?”
“Hear what? I just woke up when I heard a loud noise down stairs… was that you?”
“Uhh, yeah… I fell down the stairs.”
“The stairs huh, you’re not hurt right?” He asked, the concern obvious in his voice.
“No, I’m fine, you just startled me is all. I didn’t know you were there.”
“Right, sorry about that” Snowdrop heard him chuckle briefly. Silence once again fell, and she heard him shift uncomfortably,  “So you said you were the librarian right? Looks like you have a lot of books.”
“Yes, we really do don’t we? Sorry for the… mess.” Her last word was slightly strained as a sliver of her earlier rage bubbled up.
Spike took a moment to look around the room, not having done so when Twilight first rushed them here to research the Elements. Overturned chairs lay scattered in a corner; a foldable table, probably brought in by Pinkie, was surrounded by crumbs and toppled plastic cups. Some patches of liquid spotted the wood floor, and streamers hung from near all surfaces. He couldn’t be sure but he thought he saw some cupcakes on the ceiling, though he had no idea why. And was that a burn mark on the door?
A bit more then just a mess.
“Woah, that’s pretty bad. And they just left you here to clean it?” He asked in disbelief.
“Well, everyone left in a rush. I’m sure they’ll be back to help. Right?” Although she sounded unsure even to herself.
“Well, even if they don’t, Im here. Lets get started. You get that side, I’ll get this one.” He said pointing to the left side of the room. He then walked to towards his half, looking back to the filly who hadn’t moved an inch, her gaze still fixed on a point in the air. He raised a questioning eyebrow, “The sooner we start the sooner we finish.”
As soon as he spoke her head turned in his direction, once again not meeting his eyes, this time rather, it was just over his shoulder. “About that, I’m blind, so your going to need to bring me to where we’re cleaning.”
Spike blinked, comprehension slowly filling his mind, “Wow seriously? Ive never met a blind pony before, or a blind librarian, how does that even work?” As he spoke he walked over to her, leading her in the direction of her half.
Snowdrop smiled to herself. Yes, she decided, she really liked Spike.